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Howard started the show talking about how he kept missing Robin on the phone yesterday. He said he tried calling a couple of times. He said he left her a message but it was tough to hook up. Robin said she was trying to reach him too. Howard said that's when he returned her call. Robin said it's hard to get a hold of Howard. Robin said she's not that hard to get a hold of. Howard said he slept a lot yesterday. He said he's just beat.
Robin asked what Howard was doing over the weekend because it sounds like he's psychologically beat. Howard said he is. He said he has a lot going on.
Robin said she saw Heidi Klum on the Emmys yesterday. Howard said she won an Emmy but it was one of the earlier ones that they don't give on camera. Howard said he wouldn't show up there if they gave him one like that. Howard said she was there last night on the Emmys.
Robin said the AGT thing is over. Howard said he's glad because it's a lot of hours. Robin said he's acting like he did all of the hours this weekend. Howard said it's a lot of days of doing it. He said they want him to do it again but he's not sure he can and have a life too. Robin said ''Oh Howard.'' Howard asked Robin why she's bugging him today. He said he was at AGT the whole time Robin was hanging out during the summer. He said that he's not sure if he should do another season or just leave. Robin asked when they need an answer. Howard said they need to know if they should do Radio City again or move. Howard said they're great people over there. He said a bunch of them were asking if he wanted to do it again. He said he couldn't have a nicer gig. Howard said he has to figure it out. He said he's not sure if he can do it again.
Howard said the show starts in February. He said he was thinking about how they don't really need to go to the other cities. He said they could fly them all into New York. He said they don't need to do the auditions around the country. Howard said Kenichi came from Japan so it doesn't matter where you do it. Howard said the Vegas Week thing is irrelevant. Howard said they could do that in New York too. Howard said he was wondering if they could cut the travel down. Howard said they could do it like The Voice. He said they could go to difference cities with different judges. Howard said that might be kind of lame though. He said we'll have to see.
Howard said right now his decision would be no. Robin said it's like a woman who just had a baby. Howard said that's what he feels like. He said he just had triplets and his vagina is on fire. Howard said he's so annoyed at having a baby that he cut his husband's dick off. Howard said he was looking to slow down in life and not heat things up.
Howard said Metallica is coming in today. He said Jenny McCarthy is too. Howard said he went to the Metallica show on Saturday night. He said they were at the Apollo Theater. He said they don't have many seats there so it was like being in a living room. Howard said to see them there was wild. He said it was crazy. He said they had a great crowd. Howard said many of the people won the right to be there. Howard said it was the best rock show ever. Howard said he's seen Led Zeppelin live and they were much harder and louder than them. Howard said that he's never seen anything like it. He said they play so fast.
Howard said Richard sat next to him at the show. He said he was wearing an adult diaper. Howard said the whole row was using the diaper.
Gary came in and said that his wife was wondering if Richard would shit in that diaper. Howard said he thinks he would. Gary said that Brian Phelan was pulling it off of him. Howard said a piece of it ended up on Ralph's neck.
Howard said you can see him sitting next to him at the show. Howard said he's working harder than Metallica at the show. He said he wants to show that he's the biggest Metallica fan.
Richard came in and said he can't move his neck. Howard said that's because he was banging his head with no hair on it. Howard said he hurt his neck too just trying to do what Richard was doing. Richard said he feels like he has to bang it harder because he doesn't have any hair. Howard said Richard is insane to be near. He said he was all sweaty there. He said he fist bumped him and his fist was all wet. Richard said it was hot there.
Howard said there were people turning around and looking at Richard and not watching the band. Richard said he loves some of their songs and he just goes nuts hearing them. Howard said the theater was small and they were so good. He said it was wild.
Howard said the dude who plays bass is built like a mother fucker. Richard said he leans way down when he plays. He said he was in the band Suicidal Tendencies years ago. Richard said Ralph was asking him all kinds of questions about the band during the concert. Richard said he could have just Googled it.
Richard said he was drinking wine there because he doesn't have to drink as much. He said he didn't want to pee. He told Howard they had an open bar there. Howard said he didn't know they had an open bar there.
Howard took a call from a guy who won tickets to the concert. The guy said he had a blast there. He said he's still recuperating from it. Howard said the only person he didn't see there was the chick from the Blurred Lines video. Howard said she was next to Ross from what he heard. Howard said Richard was too busy with Brian Phelan. Richard said he loves going to concerts with him. He said he uses his back as a drum set.
Richard said High Pitch Mike was wasted there. Howard said he heard he was trying to make out with Brian. Brian came in and said that he had a bottle of vodka there and Mike drank 3/4 of it. He said he was wasted the whole night from that. Brian said that Ralph was beating the shit out of him too. He said he was about to knock Ralph out. Howard said he thought he was going to. Brian said he came close to it. Richard said he was doing it in a lovable way. Brian said Richard was doing it pretty mellow but he had to tell Ralph to stop or he'd knock him out.
Brian said another drunk guy showed up and started beating on him. He said he has that happening to him all the time. He said he tries to get a picture and he gets pushed so it comes out blurry. Howard said Ralph was pushing him so the picture would be blurry. Richard said he kept getting pushed into other people there at the concert and it was Ralph doing it.
Richard said he went to dinner with Brian at a Barbecue place and James Hetfield was there. He said that Brian had his vodka there and he poured some of it into a 7-Up drink he had at the restaurant.
The caller said that they had free t-shirts and drinks there. Howard thanked him for the call. He said he was wondering what was up with Sal. He said that Sal was at America's Got Talent with a dude and then he had the same dude at the concert. He said it's the Long Island Psychic's husband. Howard said he's wondering what's going on there. Howard said there must be something weird going on.
Sal came in so Howard asked what's going on with the Long Island Psychic. Richard said Sal has a glow about him when he's going around telling people who it is. Sal said he just likes the guy. He said they're from the same neighborhood. He said they follow each other on Twitter. Sal said he's kind of like his hot chick that he hangs out with.
Howard said Richard is fucking disgusting. He said he's doing a whole show and it's all about Richard. Howard said he wasn't even enjoying the show. Sal said he was all wet and sticky and it looked like 20 guys peed on him. Howard said he's retarded and Sal is all over the Long Island Psychic's husband. Sal said he told him not to talk to Howard or spoil the night to him.
Gary asked if he's a big celebrity to him. Sal said he is. Howard said he's not even the psychic, he's just the husband. Sal said that people will ask him to do a reading. Sal said the guy is a trooper.
Sal said that High Pitch Mike was wasted off his balls. Howard said he went to give him a fist bump and the guy grabbed his fingers. Sal said that Mike was telling him he was going to take him into the parking lot and rape him. He said he felt like he was being raped by Mickey Mouse.
Howard asked if he's a Metallica fan. Richard said no. Sal said that Mike was rubbing Larry Caputo too. Sal said Larry asked him to get him the fuck away from him.
Howard said it was some show. He said he thinks that James acknowledged him from the stage. Richard said he did. Howard said he pointed back but he wasn't sure if he was pointing at him. He said he thought he might be pointing at the chick from the Blurred Lines video.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they're going to put out a DVD of that show. Howard said if they do they should highlight Richard, Sal and High Pitch Mike. Howard said what was going on there was wild. Howard said there was a lot going on there.
Robin asked if Sal has built up the cheese for Richard. Sal said he has been doing that. He said he's going to get itchy with that not being clean. Sal showed him what was going on down there and Richard started gagging. Richard said it was the grossest thing that he's ever seen. Gary told him not to puke on the carpet. Richard said he's going to puke. Howard told him to smell it. Richard told him to show the camera the cheese. He said you can clearly see it. Richard was dry heaving as Sal was showing it. Sal told him not to move and did something to make Richard heave more. Everyone was cracking up. Sal gave him the cock cheese moustache that he was supposed to get for backing out of the no drinking thing he agreed to last week.
Richard said he's never going to be able to eat cheese again. Sal finished wiping the smegma on his face and Richard puked. Sal said he needs some wet wipes. Howard had him smell his fingers. Richard said it was all over his lip so he can smell it. Howard said he took it like a man. Sal said he took it like a wo-man.
Richard had snot coming out of his nose. Richard said he just wiped it off his lip and it was all yellow. Robin said she's going to throw up now.
Richard said Sal had specks of cheese on his dick. He said he didn't eat breakfast yet so he didn't throw up much. Sal said his eyes are all red. Howard said because he took that moustache he's going to let him sit on the couch during their ''One'' performance. Howard told him to leave quietly after that. Richard said they wont even know he's in there. Howard asked if his moustache still smells. Richard said he has to wipe it off. He asked for a lighter to burn it off. Howard said they have to take a break now. He said Richard just took his smegma moustache. Richard asked him not to tell James. Howard said this is the first thing he's going to tell James. He said he's going to wonder why he's on the couch so he's going to tell him.
Howard said that Lars is the best drummer he's ever seen. Howard said he doesn't know why people say he's not good. Richard said he plays for 2 hours straight too. He said the guy is awesome. He said he's admired him since he was like 12 years old. Robin said that doesn't mean anything.
Howard said James Hetfield is a great guitar player too. Richard said he really is great at down playing. He said that his right hand is so precise. He said Fred knows what he's talking about. Richard said they say that he's the tightest rhythm guitar player in rock.
Howard said it's great getting a music review from a guy with a smegma moustache. Howard TV had the replay of Sal giving him the moustache. Richard said you can see the cheese on his face. Howard and the guys were all cracking up. Howard said they'll have that on Howard TV and hopefully tonight.
Howard said they have an exclusive clip from Metallica's movie ''Through the Never'' on HowardStern.com. Richard said he wrote a blog about the movie too. Howard said he read that and it was good. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard asked if he's ever gone home and tried to play guitar like those guys. Zach said that they've gotten better with age and he can't play like that. He said it's a tough life being on the road with those guys. He said they're great but they bust their balls. Howard asked if they threaten to fire him. Zach said they do. Howard asked who the biggest ball buster is. Zach said they're all different. Howard said that sounds awesome. He said he's getting his balls busted by Metallica.
Howard asked who has the biggest balls. Zach said he has no idea. He said he's not in charge of wardrobe. Howard said he has to find out. Zach said it should be interesting to see how they sound at this time of morning. Howard said they could sound like shit. Zach said he doesn't think so.
Scott said they have a room set up for them to warm up. Zach said they warm up for 45 minutes when they're on the road. Howard asked Zach if he's the one who hands them guitars. Zach said he does that and hits buttons for them to change the sound. Howard said when they all come on stage they crouch over so they can't see them. Zach said these days they don't care so much and just go out standing up.
Howard asked Zach about a guitar he saw at the show. Howard said he should jam out on one of them. Scott said they have a whole rack of them there. Howard took a look at some of them and said he should jam on it. Zach said that they have an ESP guitar and James designed that one. He said that the one Howard saw at the show was one that has a special tune on it. He said he has 14 guitars but they don't need them all there today. Howard said he should have practiced when he was a kid.
Howard took a look at another guitar that Zach told him about. Howard said they have a ton of amps in there. Howard said they're going to get their brains blown out.
Howard said that he had a great time at that show on Saturday. Zach said he saw Howard there. Howard said this is a good dude. He said he's a pretty good guy. Howard said he seems like such a nice guy and he can't believe they bust his balls.
Howard asked if he saw all of the gay stuff going on in the crowd. Zach said that he didn't. He said they have to pay attention to what's going on up on stage.
Scott said that this is the largest crew he's ever seen for a band in his career. Howard said they must have heard about Scott's history and brought everyone in.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he's so glad they didn't have a dog act win this year. He said that Kenichi guy was good. Howard said he deserved to win. He said the right guy won. Howard said the guy is a true genius. He said the guy is fucking crazy. Robin said he could have won in any year. Howard said he still thinks the dogs were great though. The caller said it was the same act pretty much. He said they had some new stuff but it's the same act. The caller said he'd rather see Kenichi. Howard said it was a great ending to the show. He said he's glad America got it right. Robin said she thinks that the comedians getting to the end is part of Howard's influence.
Howard asked Robin how she got her iPhone already. Robin said she went and got it. She said she went to a place where there wasn't a line. Robin said she didn't go to an Apple store. Howard said he doesn't have his yet. Howard said Robin called saying she didn't know if she would know how to use it. Howard said she got it set up though. Howard went into a live commercial and then went to break.
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Howard came back and had Jenny McCarthy come in. Howard said he read that she's dating Donnie Wahlberg. Howard asked if he's still in New Kids on the Block. Jenny said they do still do concerts and they sell out their shows.
Howard asked if Jenny is happy. She said she is. Howard asked if it's true that she's not going to have anymore kids. She said that's true. She said she doesn't want to stretch out her vagina anymore. Howard asked how long she waits to introduce a guy to her son. She said this time it took about 3 months. It used to take 6 months.
Howard said he read about what she likes to do with her men and how she likes to bathe with them. Howard said that sounds like fun. Jenny said that she fantasizes about him all the time. Jenny told Howard she's there to make fun of him about his media tour. She said that Howard was out there saying that she was going to change now that she's on The View. Howard said that's because when she was with Jim Carrey she was so worried about offending him that she stopped doing things like coming on this show. Howard said that she was trying to be respectable so he'd marry her. Jenny said it wasn't about Jim. She said it was all about autism. She said her son Evan was having seizures and stuff. She said that it was just content in her life. It had nothing to do with Jim.
Howard said he was thinking about Jenny and Donnie. Howard said he's not sure about this whole sexual thing and if it's made up or not. Jenny said that she does take a bath with her guy. She said that most people do that. Howard said they do it in the beginning of the relationship but not always.
Howard said he was thinking about Jenny starting out in Playboy and 99 percent of them just go away. Jenny said that she was able to move past that. She said that they make you go through a year of appearances. She said that those girls get caught up in the paycheck they get. Jenny said that she did one year and told Playboy she was done. She said she went back to broke and then got a manager and started over. Howard said she got on MTV and did Singled Out. He said that was a big deal. Jenny said they didn't want to audition her. She said they said they would never hire a Playmate ever. She said she had to crash the audition. She said that she did that and they had like 400 bimbos in line there. Jenny said she just did her thing and she was kind of obnoxious. She said they called her back and realized she was the Playmate that they got the call about. Howard said that show was kind of gross. Jenny said all of the guys were stoned and drunk.
Howard said that Jenny has been around for 20 years now. Jenny said it's been a tough 20 years. She said she's so grateful that she has a job now.
Howard said he was talking to Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and they were saying that having a career for 10 years is an amazing thing.
Jenny said she's not sure that guys still jerk off to her. Howard said he still does. Jenny said the books she wrote have helped her over the years. Howard said Jenny isn't his first choice but he does masturbate thinking about her. Jenny asked if he thinks about his wife when he jerks off. Howard said he does occasionally.
Jenny said she watches some porn too. She said that she likes to watch first time anal. Howard said he thought that was a guy thing. Jenny said that she likes the authentic reaction when a girl does anal for the first time. Howard said he jerked off to a couple of girls massaging each other. Jenny said she likes Asian Massage porn. Howard said he likes the babysitter porn. He said he likes it when a babysitter fucks the parents. Howard said anything with the word ''baby'' in it is bad though. He said he feels like he's going to go to jail.
Jenny asked Howard if he likes stuff shoved up his ass. Howard said he doesn't. He said that he had a girl stick her finger in his ass when he was 18 and he didn't like it. Howard said he won't let Beth eat his ass. He said he wouldn't want her to. Howard said his butt is disgusting.
Jenny said that girls ask if she can tell if Howard's penis is as small as he says it is. Howard asked who is asking about that. Jenny said she's going to get a good glance unless he wants her to grab it. Howard said he's married so that isn't going to happen.
Howard asked if Jenny has met Mark Wahlberg yet. Jenny said she hasn't. Howard said that's kind of weird. Howard asked how long she's been dating. She said the lst time she was on the show she was still single. She said they were trying to set her up on a dating game.
Howard asked whose ass tastes better, Donnie or Jim's? Jenny laughed. She said that one of them talks out of her ass.
Howard said Jenny is there to say that she's still funny and she's not going to stop doing the show. She said that she's going to be on The View and they haven't told her to tone it down or anything. Jenny said she doesn't have a censor so she's not going to tone it down. Jenny said she's been on the show like 20 times. She said she's hoping she can stay on the show until she's 90.
Howard said he thinks it was smart of them to hire her for The View. Howard said that she looks good and she's fun. Howard said she'll mix it up on the show too. Jenny said she went to VH-1 and asked them to let her go. Howard said this is good for her. He said it's very high profile. Howard said Joy and Elisabeth both left the show. Howard said he heard that Elisabeth watched the show with Jenny in it and she said she thought it was just plain boring. She said that she thinks it lacks substance without her and Joy on it. Howard asked if she thinks that she's jealous with her on the show. Jenny said Elisabeth texts her like once a week with comments and she finds it hard to believe she said that.
Jenny said that they wanted to freshen the show up a little bit. She said she thinks that's why they brought her in. Howard said that there are other shows that are more pop culture and not so political. Jenny said she thinks that the political stuff is too much at that time of morning.
Howard asked Jenny what she thought about Miley Cyrus on the MTV awards. Jenny said she didn't have a problem with it. She said she didn't think it was that crazy. She said she did think that she stuck her tongue out too much. Jenny said she has gotten a lot of publicity with her sticking her tongue out. She said people weren't taking pictures of her until she started sticking her tongue out. She said that she got sick of doing that though. She said she was sick of herself so other people must have gotten sick of it too.
Howard asked Jenny if she got the money she wanted for the show. Jenny said she got what she wanted. She said she can cover her bills for the first time in her life. Howard said he thought that she was a millionaire. She said she is but she has high overhead. Howard asked if she's getting at least a million bucks. Jenny said she is. Howard said that show generates a shitload of dough. Robin said a million doesn't sound like that much. Howard said she didn't say how many millions she's getting.
Howard asked Jenny if she has a wardrobe budget. Jenny said they get her clothes for her. She doesn't get to keep them though. She said she should put that in her contract. She said she asked them to dress her like a dirty school teacher.
Howard asked Jenny if she wears underwear. She said she does sometimes. She said it depends on what she's wearing. She said she has gone on there without underwear about 3 times.
Howard asked Jenny if she heard other names for people who were up for the job. Jenny said she heard about Ally Wentworth and Brooke Shields. She said she's 40 and she's so happy to have a job. Howard said that if the ratings tank then they might blame her. Jenny said that they were up by 13 percent in their demo when she premiered on the show.
Howard said that Jenny thinks that vaccinations cause autism and there are groups against her for that. Jenny said she's not against vaccinations. She said that she's just saying there has to be a middle and they should do maybe one shot at a time. She said she doesn't get why they do 6 shots at one sitting. Howard said people are actually protesting the show because of that. Howard asked if she will vaccinate children on The View. Jenny sad that it's so weird that they're against her. She said she's not against the vaccinations. She said that they could just slow down the schedule.
Howard asked who is replacing Joy. Jenny said she's replacing Joy and Elisabeth. Jenny said that this year is the last year for Barbara too. She said they'll have to replace her at some point. Howard asked if she's really going to leave the show. Jenny said Barbara loves doing the show. She said she thinks that she finally made that plan to retire and she's committed to it. She said she's been doing a lot of pieces about it. Howard said he thinks that they'll be joined by Katie Couric. Jenny laughed. Howard asked what's wrong with her. Howard said he's not sure how Donnie puts up with her.
Howard said Katie is pro-vaccine. Jenny said Katie would be awesome. She said that she has a dirty side. Jenny said that her bosses have said that's not a true rumor. She said that she'd consider it if that was possible though.
Howard said Jenny really looks good. Jenny thanked him and said he looks good too. Howard said he finds it weird that she hasn't met Mark yet. Howard asked if Donnie is close to his brother. Jenny said he is. She said that she's met some of the other brothers. She said that Mark has been shooting a movie in Chicago the whole time she's been with Donnie. She said that she's spending every second with her son so fuck meeting anyone else.
Howard asked where she met Donnie. Jenny said that she met him on show she did and then he did her show so she ended up going out with him. Howard asked how long she waited to sleep with him. She said she waited 2 weeks. She said that she can only dry hump for so long. She said she did that because she really liked him. She said she felt like she was in 8th grade on a date with him. Jenny said that she made out with him the first date. Jenny said she was the one grinding on him when they were dry humping. Howard asked if she got naked and didn't have sex. Jenny said she can't recall that. She said she thinks by the time she got naked she was having sex.
Howard asked if a guy has to go down on her to prep her or can he just go in. Jenny said that she's always been instantly excited. She said the foreplay she needs is to talk dirty. She said that just whisper something naughty and she's fully wet. She said they have to do it right and not say dumb shit. Howard said he must do it wrong. Howard said he's not sure what he'd say. Howard said he used to do that with a woman he was dating but he doesn't remember what he said. He said it might be ''I'm gonna cut your tits off'' or something. Howard said he's not sure but it just comes out.
Jenny said she has some blow job lube that she's going to give to Beth. She said that it's watermelon flavored and it's great.
Howard said that Whoopi got on The View and it revitalized her career. Howard said he was on The View promoting something and he got the vibe that Whoopi can't stand Barbara. Howard said she makes faces whenever Barbara takes over. Howard asked if he's the only one who detects that. jenny said it's hard to see what's going on with her when she's talking. Jenny said they've been evenly bouncing around and everyone is getting along nicely.
Howard said he told Sherri Shepherd that he agrees that the world could be flat and you could walk off the edge. Jenny said that she actually loves Howard. She said she has a good sense of humor.
Howard asked about how they do show prep. Jenny said they do it during hair and makeup. She said they just do an hour and it's great. Howard said it sounds like a great gig. Howard asked who the most boring guests were. Jenny said she can't tell him that but she can tell him where she fucked up. She said she had to give away a wheelchair. She said that's fucked up right there. Jenny said it was so depressing. Jenny said she was sitting there and she asked where the chair was. She said she was able to keep sitting. Jenny said that they showed video of a woman walking down the aisle with the help of machines. Jenny said they didn't have the wheelchair for the woman. It was about 50 feet away. She said she had to get up and walk to the chair. She said she felt like she was going to look like an asshole. Jenny said she stood up and walked over to the chair and walked right past the woman and had to go start the chair which was an electric chair. She said that she was trying to push it and she wasn't able to push it. She said that no one taught her how to do it. She said she had to pull a nob to make it move. She said it was so awkward. She said she was in heels trying to push this thing across the stage.
Howard said he sat in a wheelchair on a telethon and he got thrown off the telethon. Howard said he was talking about how nice it was to sit in the chair. Jenny said that she finally got the chair for the woman and gave it to her.
Howard told Jenny not to fuck up this job. He gave her some plugs for The View and said he couldn't be happier for her. Jenny said she's getting along well with everyone there. Howard said most women hate her because she's so hot. Jenny said that's not true. Howard said if you're good looking other women hate you. Jenny said that's not the case all the time.
Howard found out that Jenny's friend Julie was there so he wanted to check her out. Howard had the guys bring her in. Howard said she is not. Howard asked if they ever had sex on the show. Julie said that she messed around with her. She messed around with Jenna Jameson once too. Jenny said this is the woman who Jenna said was her. She said that this happened out in Las Vegas. Julie said that she just sat next to her and fingered and made out with Jenna. She said that she may have run into her a couple of times after that but they didn't do anything. She said it was just that one time.
Howard said that Elisabeth Hasselbeck is on the phone to Barbara right now. Howard said she's telling her that this is what the show is going to become.
Howard asked Julie about when she got it on with Jenny. Julie said it was just one night of drunken ''Ehhh'' and made a face. Gary said he'd like to know what that means exactly. Jenny said it wasn't a passionate love making session. She said it was like 5 minutes of their 20 year relationship. She said they really don't remember. She said she would tell Howard if she did. Howard said he wouldn't forget if he had done something like that. Howard said nothing goes on in his house.
Howard asked if Jenny is going to bring girls into bed with Donnie. Jenny said no. She said she was open to it but it ruins the relationship. Howard said poor Donnie got her when she realized that. Howard said that's pretty hot that Jenny and Julie got it on. Howard said she should hook up with Whoopi next. Jenny said she is bringing her over there today.
Jenny asked how many times he's been on The View. Howard said it was just once. Howard said he had to promote AGT.
Jenny told Howard that she has to fart. She asked when it's appropriate for a girl to fart in front of a dude. Howard said the answer is ''never.'' Howard said that he's only heard Beth fart once. He said that she did that accidentally when they were running. Gary said that Howard has a great set up in his house with the bathrooms. He said that he can shit and stink up one side of the house and Beth will never know. Howard said Jenny must have farted in front of Jim Carrey and that ruined it. Jenny said she never did that.
Howard asked Julie what she had on under that blanket she had on. She showed Howard and he said she does have a good body. Howard said he had to wrap up after that. Howard told Jenny not to go out and have sex with Metallica. Jenny said she won't. She got in a plug for an appearance she's making at One Oak in California. Howard asked what she's getting paid to do that. It was around $50,000. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard finally came back around 8:15 with Metallica in the studio. Howard said he's sitting there with the Legends themselves. He said he's been waiting for this for months. Howard said he knows these guys had a whole thing with Guns N' Roses. Howard said they went on tour with them and it was a nightmare. James said he did have that right. Howard said they're infamously late. Howard asked if that was the rub. James said they stood for everything that they didn't like. He said that's what they escaped in the early days and Guns was into all of that.
Howard said that he appreciates that they aren't like that. Howard said that they look like they're having fun. Howard asked how they're awake after the show they did on Saturday. Howard asked if they weigh themselves after a show. Howard said they must lose pounds. James said a friend wanted to put a pedometer on him. He said he wanted to see how far they ran during the show. Howard said they have an amazing amount of energy.
Howard said their film ''Through the Never'' was great. He said he'll talk more about that in a minute. Howard said they appear to be having fun when they perform. Howard said he was nervous for them at the Apollo. Howard said he got the feeling they we removed by it. Lars said that when they're that close it makes you step up. He said they have 3 levels there and everyone in the front and first tier are really close. He said everyone feels like they're sitting on top of you and it's cool.
Howard asked if it still feels new to them. James said they're honored to play in a place like that. He said that they get nervous and they get excited about playing any show. Howard said some songs are harder to play than others. He said he noticed that when James and Kirk are playing together reminds him of the Allman brothers. Howard said that they appear to be doing the same thing that they used to do with the dual leads. Kirk said that the band Thin Lizzy was an inspiration for both him and James. He said once you know what you're going to play it's pretty easy.
Howard asked if they are really precise when it comes to doing a concert. James said that they've been pulling it off lately with the shows. He said that they have a lot of trust that they're going to do well. He said that you have to trust that whatever happens in the moment that they're going to be okay with it. He said Howard must have that with his radio show.
Howard asked when he started playing guitar. James said he started at 14. He said he had to take piano lessons and he hated that. He said he got the guitar and he learned it on his own. Howard said that's fucking crazy to him. He asked how old he was when he did his first song. James said he was 15 and the band hated it so he fired them.
Howard said James took a long time to figure out how to sing. Howard said in the early days he was trying to find his voice. Howard said he used to sound like Robert Plant in the beginning. Howard played a clip and he had a high voice back then. Howard said he used to talk really high with a nasally voice. Howard asked when he found his style that he has now. James said you just tour and build up confidence. He said that you get feedback from the band and listen to yourself and think about how you don't want to sound.
Lars said that James used to be so shy that he didn't talk. He said they went to Europe and he saw a big change in James when he started talking to the audience. That made him more confident.
Howard said that he saw Led Zeppelin getting the Kennedy Center Honors and he wondered if Metallica would even want something like that. Kirk said he thinks it's great. He said they're still being acknowledged. He said he hopes that when they're older and fatter that they're doing that. Howard asked if they'd do that Kennedy Center Honors thing. Lars said they don't have a policy about it. He said they would think about it. He said they're open to stuff like that so they'd think about it. Lars said they did things their own fucking way and they never sold out. He said they'd probably do the Kennedy Center thing.
Howard said he was watching the Metallica concert the other night and listening to the songs. He said that the record companies could have said this wasn't commercial and they could have changed but they didn't. Howard said he thinks that's why the audience likes them. James said they've stayed honest to themselves and that's all they can do.
Howard asked when the sell out stuff started coming out. Lars said it started early. He said that when they heard an acoustic guitar in a song then the fans started saying that they were a sell out. Howard said this song ''Fade to Black'' is what Lars is talking about. He played some of the song while they were talking. James said they played and wrote songs with a guy years ago. He said they were supposed to go on tour but their gear had gotten stolen. James said that their tour manager had a U-Haul with their gear in it and it was stolen. Howard said they couldn't even afford to replace it. James said that he thought they were screwed. That's when he came up with this song. Howard said the song gives him chills. It's fantastic.
Howard said Lars gets a lot of shit for not being a good drummer but he was blown away by what he saw on Saturday night. Lars said that they have their own thing and one of them are virtuosos. He said there are people in the metal community who wonder who can go the fastest and stuff like that. He said they're not about that. They're about the songs. Lars said everyone else got caught up in all of that stuff. Lars said that they thought they weren't practicing enough and that's been going on for 30 years now.
Howard asked Robert about playing bass and if he's channeling Jack Bruce when he plays. Robert said he grew up listening to Motown and stuff like that. He said that there's so much that he grew up on and that's the same stuff that Jack Bruce and guys like that were doing.
Howard said when he was in the audience everyone was singing along to some of the songs like ''The Memory Remains''. He said that must make them feel great. James said it really is. He said there is nothing more connecting than that. Howard talked about Marianne Faithfull singing on that song and how her voice sounded in that. Lars said she did that in like 2 takes. He said that they had a legend singing their song and she just nailed it. Howard said it's so classic. Howard played some of that song. Howard said that went on for like 10 minutes and he wanted to do that all night long. Lars told Howard to come lead the choir next time they're in town. He was singing that part really well.
Howard said that the guys have a new movie out called ''Through the Never'' and it's great. Howard said that things got weird on Saturday night. Howard said Richard Christy was wearing a diaper so he could piss himself. Howard said that Richard took smegma on his moustache to sit in today. Lars just gave a shocked sounding ''Wow'' when he hard that.
Howard said guys get very physical at their shows. Howard said it was crazy on Saturday night. Howard said things got very weird. Howard said it got gay really fast. Lars said the safest place was on stage.
Howard said the guys are going to perform the song ''One'' and he wants to know more about that song. Howard said it's anti-war and he gets the feeling that they are anti-war. James said that he might be correct with a few members. Howard asked if they're split that way. James said that politics and religion split people and they're about bringing people together. James said he's all about freedom. He said they just write about it not saying it's good or bad.
Howard said the video for ''One'' really got his attention. Howard asked how he starts writing a song about that. James said his older brother told him a story about the book ''Johnny Got His Gun'' and he related to that. He said that it wasn't about not being able to speak or anything like that but just being stuck in your own body not being able to communicate with anyone. Howard said the song is about a guy who can't talk, see, taste or smell. Howard said that James had a miserable childhood and he survived that. Howard said he's not sure how he did that. James said he grew up thinking it was normal. Howard said his father left when he was 13. Howard said his mother died a few years later from cancer. Howard said he was basically orphaned. Howard asked if it bothered him that his dad didn't get in touch. James said he actually did contact him but he wanted nothing to do with the guy. James said he has come to a lot of closure with all of that. He said his dad did his best. He said that his dad didn't have a father either and he can make sense of what happened there. He said sometimes you have to ask your friends how to be a good father. He said that can be hard. He said you want to be the macho dude and that's very hard.
Howard asked James about his mother being a Christian Scientist who didn't believe in any medications or anything. She didn't take any medicine for her cancer. Howard said that James must have thought that she could still be around if she had. James said that she didn't even admit she had cancer. He said that she didn't want them to even talk about it. Howard said that's why when they hear the song ''One'' it's very much about James. Howard said that he's the guy with his limbs cut off. Howard told them to perform the song and not cry. James asked how much he owes him for this therapy session. Howard said he's just about in tears when he hears this song. Howard said the guys are going to perform the song now.
Howard told Richard to come in and sit in during the song. Howard said Lars is the reason that Richard started drumming. Howard said Richard can't even move his neck now. He said that the concert was more about him than it was about them. Richard said he cries when he hears this song. He was just about in tears.
Richard said that he learned to play double bass on the drums thanks to Lars. Robin said Richard lived in a storage locker for 10 years. Lars said that the guy who gave them their first record deal is the guy who has Richard's band Charred Walls of the Dammed. Howard said the difference is that they sold millions and Richard didn't.
Howard had the guys perform their song ''One'' after that. After the song Howard said Richard's diaper was full. Howard said he was head banging in there. Richard said he'd take a million smegma moustaches for that moment.
Howard asked Lars what happens there and how he writes that song. James said you lock yourself in a garage for a while. James said they just pick out their best riffs and slap them together. Howard asked how he comes up with the lead vocal on that. Howard asked who writes that stuff. James said he does. Howard asked how they come up with songs like that. James said it's different for every song. He said that it's like a puzzle. Howard asked if he read poetry in school. James said he didn't. He said he was the one getting mentally beat up when he was growing up. He said for him getting into a room is where is happens. He said he might think he's going somewhere with a lyric and it takes you somewhere else.
Howard asked James if his teachers would be shocked that he's a lyricist now. James said they would. He said he learned a lot from music.
Howard asked about the song ''Nothing Else Matters'' and if he was embarrassed to bring it to the band. James said he was. Howard said it was a love song to a girl. He asked how he brought it to the guys. James said Lars heard it and thought it was good. Lars said that James played it for him. He said that's how he heard it. Lars said that they would trade songs and ideas for songs and then they'd go away and start writing months later. He said they all had ideas for songs and they'd work with what they had.
Howard said when you think about Lars and James they're from the most distant parts of the world. Howard said the fact that they found each other was amazing. Lars said they all had something missing from their lives. He said that he found a brother that could relate to what he was going through. Howard asked what keeps them together though. Howard said they had some shitty times together. Howard asked if they would ever break up. James said they've gone through fire together. Howard asked if they get together socially. James said they don't do that too often. He said they respect each other with their families. They do get together at HQ with their families and that's great. James said they can conquer just about anything. He said they've been through it all. James said that they aren't individually amazing musicians but together they're great.
Howard asked what they would say if he said that this song ''Nothing Else Matters'' is a love song to Lars. James said that could be true. Howard asked the guys to sing the song now. Lars said he may cry now. Howard said it's a beautiful love song that came to be because Lars gave James the confidence to release it. Lars said that when he heard the verses it moved him and he knew they had to share it with the rest of the world. He said James was too vulnerable to do that at the time but he knew they had to get it out there.
James said that the song is about brotherhood as well. He said it's about needing another human. Howard told them to go ahead with the song ''Nothing Else Matters.''
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard asked how they decide who takes the lead. James said that Kirk is better than he is. Kirk said whoever has the better feel for the part will take it. He said that James will defer to him because he likes rocking out on stage. Kirk said James would rather just leave it to him and rock out. James said he likes working them out but not playing them. He likes handing it over to Kirk.
Howard asked Kirk why he has a White Zombie tattoo on him. Kirk said it has nothing to do with Rob Zombie. He said it's about the movie that came out in 1932. He said he has a mummy guitar too.
Howard said he saw James playing the coolest fucking guitar ever. He said it was a black one with a cross on it. James said that's his Iron Cross guitar. He said this one he's playing is the Snake Bite. He said he likes that it's thinner and lighter than others. He said that it hangs on him well. He said it's just a feel thing with that one.
Howard asked Lars about that song and if he knew it would be a hit. Lars said it wasn't about the hit thing. He said he just wanted the fans to see a different side of the band.
Howard asked why the put out this movie now. Howard asked who convinced them to do it. Howard said he's never seen a musical performance recorded so beautifully. Lars said they wanted to be shot from the inside so you feel like you're on stage with the band. He said that you want to be right there with the band. Lars said they shot from the stage out instead of the other way around. Howard said you feel like you're in the band that way. Lars said that they had their sound guy do the audio and he stepped it up. He said it sounded next level at the premiere.
Howard asked the guys if they thought about not doing it because of the pressure. James said he and Lars were freaking out. He said they were wondering who would want to see that. He said they've seen U2 and the Stones and he wasn't sure how it would have any legs at all. Howard said it's flattering to the ego though. Howard asked how much it costs to make a movie like that. James said that it is expensive. He said they've seen each other thousands of time on screen but they wanted a narrative in there. Robin asked whose idea it was. Lars said they had seen all of these other documentaries and they wanted to do something different. Lars said they didn't need to make it like a documentary so they got this kid Dane DeHaan to play the part and he was great. Lars said that there is no dialog in the film and he had to make heads and tails of the whole thing.
Howard said they provided everything you need to see in the movie. Howard said he was in the gym the other day and he benches 90 pounds. Howard said he hears their song ''Blitzkrieg'' and it gets him hyped up. Howard played some of that song and the guys started playing along with it. Howard asked if they think that their songs inspire violence in some way. Howard said he has to beat the shit out of something when he hears their songs. Kirk said the songs do make a lot of adrenalin flow.
Howard asked how they put a stop to their music being used to torture our enemies in wars. James said you can't stop it. They weren't able to stop it. Howard said that it would be great if they played it for some terrorist and he gets into metal and starts his own band. James said that could be Torture Metal. Lars said there are a lot of fans in the middle east and it's great that they can inspire the unity that they do over there.
Howard said that the guys must be glad that they got into this and didn't stop. James said that they never wanted to get out. Howard said that's because they didn't have a choice. Lars said that when they were starting out they could go to Burger King and feed the guys at the salad bar for cheap. Howard asked if they miss those days.
Lars said they're living the dream some 32 years later. He said they were at the Apollo on Saturday, at Yankee stadium last night and here today. Howard said he was so ashamed of what he did at the 1992 MTV Awards. Howard said he ruined things for them that night. Howard said he almost lost his fingers that night. Howard said he feels bad because that was the first time they were being honored there. Howard said he was showing his ass while they were making a speech. Kirk said that he was like ''What the fuck was that?'' that night.
Howard said that you have to see this new movie ''Metallica Through The Never'' (ThroughTheNeverMovie.com) that opens soon. Howard said the film is great quality even if you're not a fan of the band. Howard said they must have had a lot of cameras during the movie. James said they had a lot. He said it was intense and they brought the experience of you being on stage. He said it was pretty high intensity. Howard said he was jealous of them on Saturday night. Howard said he has to get started playing guitar now and maybe by 90 he'll have a band in full force.
Howard asked why James is the only one with ink on him. James said kirk has some too. Howard said they should all have some ink. Howard asked James if he likes his. James said he has no regrets in his life. He said he loves art and loves what's on him. He said he sometimes wonders what it would be like without them.
Howard asked James if he can tell his kids that they can't get tattoos. James said once they're 18 they can get whatever they want. James said that he was 37 when he got his first tattoo.
Howard asked if they watch the MTV Awards. James said he didn't know MTV was still on. He said he doesn't watch what's going on in music these days. Kirk said it's hard to get him to see what's going on with music these days.
Lars said he doesn't really listen to commercial radio anymore. He said he listens to satellite radio or his iPod. He said he doesn't listen to regular radio anymore. He said commercial radio is a non-entity anymore. Howard said it's hard to sell albums now. Howard said he thinks that they were right about Napster. He said a band can't make money anymore selling albums. James said that there are new ways to make money and there are bands trying. Howard said they might not be able to break through though.
Howard asked James if his kids like music. James said they do. Howard asked if he ever spanks them for listening to shitty music. James said that your parents always hate your music so that's a great thing.
Howard said it was an honor to have them in there to perform today. Howard said the new film is great. Howard said it opens on Friday. Richard said he was moshing in his chair watching the movie. He said the sound is great. He said they have an album coming out for the movie too. He said it was like being in a concert at the theater.
Howard said they have a Metallica channel there at Sirius. Howard said he likes that because he can pump iron to that. Howard said some day he'll be in shape because of that. Howard said these guys play hard and you can't be weak playing like that. Lars said that they are all in better shape now than they've ever been. He said they respect it. He said they have guys who massage and stretch them after the shows.
Howard asked if anyone is a vegetarian. Kirk said he hasn't had red meat since like 1985. Howard said the guys are going to honor them with one last song. This is their song ''Enter Sandman.'' Howard said this is about bad dreams as a kid. Howard said James knows about that. Howard asked if he ever had anyone comfort him at all as a kid. Howard said Lars must have comforted him. James said that Lars let him come to his house and record records. Lars said that they hung out in his room for the first 2 years.
Howard asked if they were doing a tribute to Jimi Hendrix on Saturday night. Kirk said he did that because he learned that Jimi won a talent contest there at the Apollo in 1964. Howard asked if he had to tell the guys in the band he was going to do that. Kirk said he doesn't think he did tell them. He was just feeling it in the moment.
Howard asked James about what this song is about. James said it was about a dysfunctional family. Lars laughed and said it was more than that. He said it was supposed to be about crib death. Howard said he'd like to hear the original lyrics. Lars said he and their manager had to have a talk with James about that. He said this was the first song they wrote together and it was done in a day. Howard asked James if he'll ever write a song about crib death. James said he will now. Howard had the guys leave them with their final song ''Enter Sandman.''
Howard said he could do that all day long. Howard asked if that hurts James' voice. James said it does. He said that it's good to wait a few days between concerts. He said that it's not sounding great this morning. Howard said he thinks it is. Howard asked if he does vocal training. James said he doesn't. He said that Robert has stepped up to help him out during the songs. Robert said they've made him a better musician. Howard asked if they fucked with him by not putting bass on one album. They told Howard that was the wrong guy.
Robert said back in 1993 he was in Suicidal Tendencies and they were on tour with Metallica. He said they were all drinking a bottle of Jagermeister and he drank that whole bottle himself. He didn't know that they weren't drinking with him.
Howard asked if they wear hearing protection. Lars said they wear in ear protection. He said they measured the sound level where he plays and it was 125 DB. He said that he had it so bad at one time that he thought his TV was on. He said it wasn't on. James said that he has tinnitus. Howard asked if they hear a ringing in their ears. James said it's that and all of the other voices you hear in your head. Howard said it must be annoying to hear that ringing in your ear. Lars said that it's bad for him because you can't hear what other people are saying. He said that he has to sit and listen and concentrate on what people are saying in a noisy environment. Lars said it's not getting worse but they have it under control. Lars said when he was 10-12 years old they'd put records on and see who could keep it on 10 for the longest time. He said he talks to his kids about it now and tells them that 30 years from now they might not be able to hear anything.
Robin asked what the fans get. Lars said that if it's one show a year then it's a different story. Howard said he doesn't have ringing in his ears but he has a small cock. Howard said they don't want to hear about that.
Howard said that Billy Joel retired a song that he couldn't stand playing anymore. Howard asked if they have any songs like that. Lars said they play a different set list every night. He said that they mix it up with 60 songs or so that they can more or less play. Howard said they must have to play some songs to make the fans happy. James said they weren't able to play ''Master of Puppets'' in China. The government didn't allow them to do that. Howard said they should have just played it. Lars said those kids really responded to what they did that night. James said they got to play over there and that was the key. Howard asked if they thought of canceling when they said they couldn't play Master of Puppets. Kirk said he snuck some of the licks from the song into the concert.
Howard said it must be tough setting the set list for the movie. James said the Chinese government set that list. Howard said that's great. Howard said that he has to give them a million thanks for coming in this morning. Howard said it was remarkable to see them playing there live. Howard said he'd give them the Kennedy Center Honors but they won't listen to him. Lars said that maybe Howard can induct them with his ass cheeks out again. Howard said he can do that and show his tiny cock.
Howard thanked the guys for coming in and for their new movie and the Metallica channel they have there. Howard gave them some plugs and told them to come in any time they want to play. He said he's sure he'll never see them again though. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and did a live commercial read. It was for Crumbs Bake Shop and their new Baba Booey Twooie cupcake.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the Metallica interview was great and that studio has never rocked so hard. Howard said he had them playing like 6 feet away from him. He said they did a great show on Saturday night at the Apollo. Howard said it was really great. The caller said they came off pretty good in the interview too.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that had to be one of the best musical performances ever. He said that Lady Gaga and Metallica were right up there. Howard said that was something else. The caller said he wanted to know what they think of the Beatles. Howard said he can't answer for them but they must mean something to them. Howard said he's worn out. He said he was very excited for that interview. Robin said he was like a kid on Christmas.
Howard said they have a contest going on where you can get your Grandpa laid. You can find out more at SiriusXM.com/Howard.
Howard took a call from Bobo who talked about how great that interview was. Howard quickly thanked him and let him go.
Howard said this new Pope is something else. Howard said he's talking about how ridiculous this anti-gay thing is. Howard said that he's really changing the attitude of the church. Howard said it's the beginning of a change. Howard said it's really something. Howard said the pope is so progressive that he's putting out a Twerking video. Howard said he's watching YouPorn now too. Howard did an impression of the Pope talking about what he looks up on YouPorn. Robin said he sounds Transylvanian when Howard does it. Howard asked what he is. Robin said he's Latin. Howard did more of his impression and it sounded even more like Dracula.
Howard asked Robin about her iPhone and the fingerprint scanner. Robin said she's using her middle finger to do it and it works great. Howard said he's jealous that Robin has it. Robin said she went around to a couple of places and it wasn't that easy to get. Robin said if you go to an Apple store you wait in line. Robin said she read about how not to stand in line so she went to some individual carrier stores. Robin said she then went to Best Buy and they had a few left. She got one there. Robin said she just had to switch from AT&T to Verizon to get it. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Howard said one thing he's upset about is that they changed the calendar app on the phone. He said he can't wait to get the new phone but he's kind of upset about that. Robin said she's very pleased with this new phone. Robin said she likes the new interface and the new operating system. Robin said the screen is slightly larger and the keyboard is easier to use. Howard asked why he's always last.
Robin said she tried Siri out and then wondered what she needs her for. Robin said she could change it to a male voice but she's not sure why she'd need to. Robin said she looked up some things with Siri when she was searching.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for the Metallica interview. Howard said they're good dudes. Howard thanked the guy for the call.
Howard said they went down and interviewed some people who waited in line for 2 weeks for their iPhone. Howard played a clip of Sal and Richard asking a guy about waiting there for 14 days. Howard said you'd think he'd be first in line but he's not sure where he was. Howard said people are out of their minds for this phone. Another guy was there for 8 days. Sal asked if he would lick a piece of dog poop instead of waiting in line. The guy said no to that. He said he would slap a baby to cut that wait down. He said he'd stomp on a kitten too. Howard said that's unbelievable. Howard said he's going to wait on line now for the next iPhone.
Richard said that the 14 day guy was the first one in line. He said they can get paid for their phone so it is worth waiting for sometimes.
Howard played another clip of Richard interviewing a guy about how long he had been waiting. He had been on line since Monday. Richard asked about where he masturbates. The guy said he does it in the Apple store or at Starbucks. He was saying that he jerks off to pregnant women. Richard said that the people in that line were freaked out by that guy. They were telling him that he goes off to masturbate all the time.
Howard played another clip of Sal and Richard questioning a guy about where he masturbates waiting on line. The guy said he doesn't do that. Richard said they work with a guy (Jon Hein) who says he doesn't do that but they don't believe him.
Howard asked Richard about how the Metallica thing was. Richard said it was amazing. He said he would have eaten a smegma cheesecake to have gotten in there for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the interview was great and the performances were great too. Howard quickly thanked him and took another call from CWB who said the interview was amazing. He said he still loves Richard even though he does so much gay stuff.
Howard said he can't wait for people to see Richard get the smegma on his lip. Richard said he can't believe he can grow that shit. Howard said he could have a plantation there on his cock. Howard TV showed a clip and Howard said he was going to vomit. Richard said he was going to puke again. Robin asked them to take that shot off the screen. Howard said they have to show that on Howard TV. Howard said that the Metallica performances are going to be on Howard TV too. He said he has to thank the guys in the band for that.
Howard said he's never seen anything like what he saw on Sal's penis. Fred said it's horrible. He said he's never seen anything like that and he's uncircumcised like Sal. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said they tweeted out a video link for the Sal and Richard moustache thing. He said Richard's diaper came in handy there at the concert. Howard said he had to take a shit so he just shit right into it while Richard was wearing it.
Howard said he heard that the new iPhone fingerprint reader is good with cat paws. He said he told Beth he's not getting all of their cats their own phones. Howard said they can live with the iPhone 4S. Howard said he got mad when he hear Robin got her phone. Robin said this is the first time she beat him to it. Howard said heads will roll.
Robin told Howard that Rolling Stone is doing an article about her. She said that Dr. Oz is doing a show about her too. She said that they wanted so much information that she felt she was going back to nursing school. Robin said one thing she found out is that this type of cancer is often mis-diagnosed and that leads to the wrong treatment. Robin said that her cancer was endometrial cancer and it ended up in her pelvic area. She said that people have gotten it wrong with what they've been saying she had.
Robin read about last night's Emmy awards and who won. Robin told Howard that he got a couple right when he predicted. Robin and Howard spent a minute talking about some of the stuff that was going on during the Emmys last night. They talked about how odd it was that they didn't show video clips of the people they did remembrances of. Robin had some clips for Howard to play from the Emmys.
Howard said he read that tattoo ink can give you cancer. He said that freaked him out. Howard said you can't do anything fun. He said anything cool gives you cancer. He said smoking, tattoos and cell phones all do. Howard said reading doesn't but who wants to read? He did another live commercial read after that.
Robin had some audio of Carrie Underwood performing a cover of a Beatles song. Howard said that was off key. JD said they were paying tribute to a few things and he's not sure why they did it in the first place.
Robin said Edie Falco paid tribute to the late James Gandolfini. She had some audio of Edie's speech. Robin had a clip of Michael Douglas talking about playing Liberace and telling Matt Damon he deserved half of his Emmy. Douglas asked if he wanted the bottom or the top. Howard asked if he talked about his wife leaving him. JD said he actually thanked his wife and said he hopes to visit his son in prison. Robin had a few more clips of the winners being announced. Breaking Bad won for Best Drama. Howard said that's a cool show. Howard said he may have Vince Gilligan write him a film. He said he'd like to be up for a couple of awards. Howard said he has to get that asshole to write him a script.
Robin read about the navy yard shooing that happened last week. Robin quoted some people who commented on that and had some audio of President Obama talking about the shootings.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he likes what Howard is doing with the animals. Howard asked everyone to get the North Shore Animal League calendar to help. Howard said if everyone gets one then they can build a shelter for the animals.
The caller said he wanted to ask his wife if she would blow him this weekend. Howard said he hopes that she does. Howard said that was very romantic.
Robin read about what's going on in Kenya where there's a shopping mall that's been hijacked. Robin said they have hostages there and gun shots started ringing out again this morning. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Robin said at least 68 people have died and many others were wounded. Robin had some audio of some eyewitness reports.
Robin read about President Bill Clinton and how he's said he's not sure if his wife will run in 2016 for President. Robin had some audio of Clinton talking about that.
Robin read about the debt ceiling crisis that we're heading into again. Robin asked Howard if he understands this. Howard said he does but he told her to explain it. Robin went through the explanation and said that this is a routine thing that goes on but now it's become political. Robin said we're close to another deadline. Howard was doing his Bill Clinton impression and talking about how his penis is up to the debt ceiling.
Robin read about some scientists that are at a conference for cancer treatments. Robin had some audio of a doctor talking about what they're doing.
Robin read a story about a guy who says that 165,000 people have expressed interest in going to Mars. Howard said Mark Burnett is pitching a show where people get to go to space. Howard said that's crazy. Howard said the Mars trip is just idiotic. Howard said that's a one way trip. He said you don't come back from that. Robin said that they say it's a no-go for now because of the radiation that the astronauts would be exposed to. Robin said they say it might be possible in about 10 years. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:35am.
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Jon said that there is nothing that will surprise those guys. He said that they sounded great and he has to give kudos to Scott and whoever else was setting them up. Gary said that at 7:35 James got there and he was doing his vocal exercises. He said they put a lot of work into their performance.
Gary said Doug Goodstein turned to him during ''One'' and said that it might be the coolest thing he's ever seen there.
Jon said Howard was talking about what Richard, Ralph, Brian and Sal were doing at the Metallica show on Saturday. He said that Howard saw that those guys were making it all about themselves. Gary said he has never seen Metallica before and he was watching the fans there. He said that he was watching Phelan and he was just being a fan. Jon said Howard was saying that Richard was making it all about himself. Gary said he doesn't think he was acting any different than he would if he didn't work there.
Gary said he was filming some stuff with his phone and Ralph did something annoying to him. He said he doesn't record the whole song. He said Ralph started shaking his arm when he was a little bit into the song. He said that was really annoying.
Jon said that Sal was there with his date too but they'll get into that later. Jason said that there are a couple of people who are very obnoxious who you don't want to be next to at a concert. He mentioned someone they know and Jason said he's so annoying. Gary said he has been to shows with him and he doesn't mind that. Jason said he heard that Ross texts the whole time during a Springsteen song. Gary said he's texting the set list.
Jon brought up the Sal thing. He said that Sal brought Mr. Long Island Medium there. Gary said he didn't know who he was when Sal brought him over. Gary said he doesn't watch the show but some of the women there in the audience knew. Gary said he can't figure out if this is Sal's big star or if he likes having access to the psychic. Jon said he thinks that Sal has bought into the psychic thing and he might be trying to get closer to them.
Jon took a call from a woman who said Metallica was great and she was dancing in her garage. She said that was wonderful. The woman said that Jenny McCarthy was cool today too. Gary said she's cool every day. Gary said you ask her a question and she gives an answer. He said that she obviously brought her friend there to talk about the Jenna Jameson thing.
Richard came in to talk about his smegma moustache. Jon said he was glowing today. Richard said he wasn't glowing when he had the smegma on his face. He said that he had enough at one point and he was gagging from the stuff on his face. Sal said he took it easy on him. He said he could have painted it on with his penis.
Jon said that everyone was startled by what Sal had on his penis today. He had cheese down there. Sal said the last 3 days were the worst. He said it itches like crazy. He said he just scratches it if it itches. Sal said he kept that pouch sealed for a week to keep it going for this. He said he'd pinch it off during his showers so it wouldn't wash off.
Richard said Sal has been in misery for the past 3 days. Gary said he was trying to eat while Richard was gagging today. He said he had to push his breakfast away.
Jon asked Richard if it was worth it. Richard said it was. He said he got to sit in with the band and it was amazing. Richard said that he has read so many books about them and he knows so much of their history. He said Howard asked a lot of questions about stuff that has never been asked before. He said they revealed a lot about the band and the way they work.
Sal said it was the best of both worlds today. He said they had the band in and he got to do the penis thing.
Gary asked Sal if he's being paid by anyone to talk about the psychic. Sal said he swears on his kids and his dead grandparents. Gary asked what's going on there. Sal said he lives in the same neighborhood. He said that the husband is a big fan of the show and he loves their show. Sal said that he followed him on Twitter and then he followed him back so they got to know each other that way. Gary asked what they do together. Sal said that they talked about Italian restaurants and then they went out to dinner. He said their wives get along and now they go to the same hair stylists.
Jon asked if he went to AGT with him too. Sal said that he got him tickets and he got bumped one day so he got them for a second time. He said Larry asked him to go with him to AGT so he did. He said he invited him to go see Metallica too. Sal said that Larry did go up to Gary and he went up to Beth. He said he told him that he can't turn into stalker boy though. He told him to lay off of both of them. Gary said he just didn't know who he was.
Jon said he loves that Sal is the one giving him the guidelines. Not that long ago it was Gary giving Sal those same guidelines.
Jon said that Howard was saying that some of the guys seemed to be acting up at the Metallica show to draw attention to themselves. Richard said he goes nuts at concerts. He said he just goes crazy. Sal said he thinks that Ralph was the one who wanted to be noticed. He said at one point Ralph smacked him down and put his face in his crotch.
Brian Phelan said that Ralph was pushing him and hitting him and he thinks he was trying to entertain Howard. He said once Howard left it got ridiculous. He said he was so annoyed that he almost knocked Ralph out. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked Sal how he would describe the look on Richard's face during ''One.'' Sal said he looked like he was a Make a Wish kid. Gary said he did look kind of stunned. Richard said he was trying not to cry. He said he had so much going on in his head. He said he has worshiped that song since he was a kid. Jon wondered why it brings tears to his eyes. Richard said he has a lot of memories about that song. He said it came out when he was in high school and it's just a huge song for him. Richard said that he remembers listening to that album over and over when he was a kid. He said he remembers the video for the song and he connected with his dad over that. He started to choke up while he was talking about that. He said that his dad was in the Vietnam war so he related to him that way. Richard said that kind of stuff comes back to him when he hears the song.
Jon said Richard was like 5 feet away from those guys too. Richard said he wanted to get up and most but he knew Howard would get upset.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought the interview wasn't that good because it was too much Howard and not enough of the band. He said that the show has gone a little too gay lately too. Richard said they've toned it down a lot lately. Sal said he thinks he turned gay men off to penis today. Richard said he may have turned women off too.
Gary said it's the Howard Stern show and it's Howard's take on things. He said that Howard is always going to be in the interview. He said he's not sure how it can be too much Howard. Jon said he thought it was a good balance today. Jon said that Howard got to some of the other guys in the band today too. He wasn't sure if they were going to get to everyone. They went to break a short time later.
Scott told Richard that he had a gift from Lars for Richard. He had his drum sticks from today's performances. Richard thanked Lars for that. He said this is insane. Gary asked if he'll drum with them. Richard said he's going to put them in a display case in his office. He said this is incredible.
Jon said they were talking about the concert and how Ralph was ruining things. He had Ralph on the phone. Ralph said he was jumping around and having fun. Gary said he was shaking people on purpose. He said he was just being dick. Ralph said he just did that once to Gary. Brian asked about him using him as a punching bag. Ralph said that he was just having a good time. He didn't remember Brian telling him that he was going to hit him. Ralph said he remembers that but he didn't think Brian was really upset. Ralph said he was just fucking around and having a good time. Brian said he accepts his apology. He said it was fun at the start but it got annoying. He said it was starting to hurt. Ralph said Brian hit him too. Brain said he had to. He said it was getting to be too much.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Hetfield sounds so much different live than he does recorded. He asked Richard what he thinks about that. Richard said he thinks that vocals change when you get older. He said that he doesn't think he changed his style purposely. He said he thinks it's getting better with age.
Gary said he brought ear plugs to the concert and he wasn't going to wear them but he saw Richard had them so he just put them in. Richard said you have to wear them. He said ear plugs are fine. Gary said that he saw a decibel meter there and it was at 135 where they were sitting.
Jon asked if they made the right decision not using crib death in that song. Gary said that it's a dark song already and if it was crib death it wouldn't be on the radio.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought the band was great today. He said he's retired from the military and that song ''One'' means a lot to him. He said he was wounded in the military so he knows what that song means. He said that it took him back to those days before they went out. He said they would get pumped up listening to the band.
Richard said the lyrics are so deep and intense. He said James is a great lyricist. He said that Fade to Black is a song about suicide and people hear that and relate to it and it helps them.
Jon asked how many times Richard has seen Metallica. Richard said he's seen them around 20 times. He said that he and Sal saw them at the Garden once and had a blast. He said they're always amazing.
Brian and Sal shared a couple of stories about shows they've seen. Sal told a story about going to a show years ago and he told the usher to tell Howard that Sal the Stockbroker was there and the guy went down to talk to Howard. He said he came back a short time later and told him that Howard said that he already had a stockbroker and didn't need another. Sal thought he was going to be invited down to sit with him. They had to end the show a short time later. They were done at 11:30am.
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Howard started the show talking about how he was up at 3 in the morning. He said he's ready to go back to bed. He said he usually eats his breakfast and goes back to bed. He said he may have to leave during the show. He said he wasn't able to sleep and Beth was up too so he watched Breaking Bad to get caught up. Howard said he loved that. Robin said the last 8 episodes have been great. Howard said he liked the ending to Dexter too. Robin said a lot of fans were upset with the ending of the show. Howard said Breaking Bad seems to be on track to have a great finale. Howard said they could go anywhere with it.
Howard asked how Robin is doing. Robin said she's doing great. She said she's fine. She said she has a new issue today though. Robin said she has hair and she's not sure what to do with it. Howard said he was looking at pictures of her with her short afro and he liked that. Howard said he knows she doesn't like that but he did. Howard said she has a nice face and she can pull it off. Howard said she needs a short cut. Howard said she had that when they were at NBC. Howard said that was better than the braids. Robin said she wasn't able to get used to that. Robin said she had some hair added in so she had a weave. Robin said she has hair in the front and it's very curly. Robin said she loses the curl and she has to curl it. Robin said it's like Howard's hair. Howard said she's right on target then.
Howard asked Robin if she could shave the initials HS in the back. Robin said she could. She said she will never underestimate the power of hair. Robin said that it really does make a difference. Howard said for a girl it makes a big difference. Robin said she thought about Scott the Engineer a lot when she lost her hair.
Howard said Richard Simmons is coming in and he has a new song called Hair Do out. Howard said they'll be talking to him about that. Howard played the song and said he wonders if Metallica likes that song. Robin asked if that's the same person who was working with Tan Mom.
Howard said they have three guests coming in today. He said he has Richard Simmons, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and James Caan. Howard said he's going to take a break to stay on track. He said he has some things to get to after that. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said Richard was performed so much he could smell him from where he was sitting. Howard asked how long it took him to get dressed. Richard was in dress with press on nails. He said it took him 5 minutes to get dressed.
Howard asked about the dress and if this is the real Richard. Richard said he's happy to be there. Howard asked why he would dress up like a woman. Richard said it cost 13 million. He said that's what people give him. Howard asked if he has 400 dolls in his collection. Richard said he has 2200. Howard asked why he wants to wear a dress if he wants to get married. Howard said he wants the wig off so he can put headphones on him too.
Howard said he was reading about Richard's shorts and how he has hundreds of sets of shorts. Richard was very distracted and not answering his questions. Richard started singing again.
Howard asked Richard if his shorts are flammable. Richard said the material is flammable. Howard asked if they don't make them anymore. Richard said he's had them for years and he has people send some to him. He said he will send them out to people as gifts because he has so many.
Richard said he has something that will bring back memories. He showed a picture of himself dressed as a man. Richard yelled for someone to bring in his purple bag.
Howard said Richard has a single out which is a rap song featuring him. Howard asked when he knew he could rap. Richard got upset about something Howard said and sounded like he was ready to cry. Howard asked how he stays so young looking. He said he looks 20 and he's over 60. Richard calmed down and started singing and going off on tangents.
Richard said people love music. He said that's why he did this song. He said he put up his own money for it. Howard said this song is called ''Hair Do.'' Howard played some of the song and Richard sang along with it a little bit.
Howard said he has seen Richards on TV a lot lately. He said he saw him on Jimmy Kimmel and Jewelry TV. Howard said he cries at the drop of a hat. Richard said that he's going to start with him now. Howard said if he cries everywhere and it's not actual shtick then no one is going to believe it. Richard said it's not a performance.
Richard said that he was in Brazil and he dug a well for an orphanage. Richard said the water was contaminated there. Howard asked what it cost to dig a well. Richard said it's quite a bit of money. He said he put up the money for it himself. Howard asked what it cost. Richard said it was $30,000. He said that they now have water there that they can use. He said there are 6 million orphans in the world. Howard said that's why these fucks who are against abortion are wrong. Howard asked where Richard stands on that. Richard said he never talks politics.
Richard said he has something called Richard Simmons and Family and every month he's going to do something like this.
Howard asked Richard about the crying again. Richard said that he has a lot of emotion in his life. He said that he does get upset. Howard said Richard keeps people who are overweight in the game. He said he knows he works with a lot of people to keep them going. Richard said that these are people who may have been abused and are now house bound. Richard said that this stuff is very sensitive to him.
Howard asked Richard if he was a model for overweight kids. He said he heard a story about that. Richard started breathing heavy. Richard said he's having an asthma attack. Howard told him to stop it. Howard asked if it's true that he modeled and his mother invested in real estate and got to be a millionaire very early on. Richard said that is not true. He said he was a model later on. He said that he was known as a chubby model. He said when you're overweight it's a paradox. Richard said he tried to lose weight because of the way he looked. He said that he isn't here to talk about all of that though.
Howard asked why he can't talk to him about his life. Richard said he's there to say he loves him. He asked Howard to touch him. Howard said he doesn't want to touch anyone.
Howard asked Richard why he won't talk about his early life. Richard said it's painful. He said that Howard must know that. Howard said he has to talk about some of this. He said he can't just plug. Richard said he has hair transplant plugs. Howard asked if he spray paints his head. Richard said Howard will have bald spots some day like he did. Howard said he doesn't have them now. Richard said he looked like Annie after a fire. Howard asked if he would recommend the plugs to other people. Richard said he would. He said you have to look in the mirror and like yourself. Howard asked if we're too concerned with that shit. Richard said that it's okay to like the way you look. He said they do a good job with the plugs now.
Richard said that he thinks they have the same audience. He said that he comes there to inspire people to sweat. He started singing again. He was singing ''Move Like Howard'' to the tune of ''Moves like Jagger.''
Howard asked Richard if he thinks about death at all now that he's a senior citizen. Richard said no. He said he doesn't want to die like no one else wants to die. He said he tries to live his life. Howard asked if he thinks he's going to meet some guy up in the sky when he dies. Richard said it is something like that. He said he thinks that you really have your heaven or hell here on Earth. Richard asked if he can hug Howard. Howard said he doesn't want to hug anyone because he doesn't want to smell like perfume.
Richard said that he loves Howard. Howard said he loves him too. Richard said he loves his nose, his cheeks and his hair. Howard asked if he would get it on with him if he gave him the okay. Richard said no way. Howard asked if he would ever blow him. Richard took his headphones off and said he's done. Howard told him to sit down. Howard asked if he heard about Robin's illness. Richard said he prayed for her. He said he called Robin. Robin said he did not talk to her. Robin said that was years ago that he called her.
Howard said Richard has a sparkle jewelry line. He said he played audio of that appearance. Howard said they loved that too. Howard asked Richard how he knows how to design jewelry. Richard got sidetracked and didn't really answer.
Howard asked Richard if he turned down Dancing with the Stars. Richard said he did because it's a lot of time he could be spending doing other things. Howard asked Richard to sit down so he can interview him. Richard said he wants to get close to Howard. He said he feels like he's in prison.
Robin said Richard doesn't touch other people when he's on their show. Howard said Richard once won an Emmy. Howard said that's a fact that people don't really know. Howard told Richard that Sal has something to show him. Sal came in but Howard told him to leave. Richard told him to come over there. Howard told Sal to show him his penis. Richard told him to get out or he'll throw something. Sal showed him his penis and Richard said he thought he was looking at Thumbalina.
Howard said he wants to talk to Richard about Project Hope. He said he thinks that's wonderful. He said it's pretty fucking great that he's doing this. Richard said that it's all about self worth. He said if you have that then you have everything. Robin said it's self love. Robin said you have to love yourself.
Howard said Richard does all of this charity work and it must become tough. He asked if he feels drained from it. Richard said he never does.
Howard asked why he is so loving and giving. Richard said he loves people unconditionally and he wants to help people. Howard said he felt he had an underlying anger. Richard asked if he wants to see anger. He said he's going to show him anger now. He started doing something to the studio. Howard said he just screwed everything up in there. Richard said he loves Howard at a 15. Howard said he loves Richard at a 1. Howard said he's going to knock them of the air. He must have worked his way back to the board.
Richard told Howard that kids used to light fires under the door in school when he was in the bathroom. He said kids would hit him with a baseball bat too. He said he never told his parents about that stuff. He didn't want to upset them. Howard said you go to your parents for protection though. Richard said words are the most powerful weapon. He said that he got hit with a baseball bat and all he could do was tell him that he was hurt. He said that he knew the kid had issues himself. Howard said it sounds like he had a horrible childhood. Richard said that you find people who accept and love you unconditionally. He said that we live in a world now that's not very accepting. He said it's just a little better than it used to be. He said that we don't treat our seniors very well and we don't treat kids very well.
Richard got sidetracked and got up and started spinning a wheel they have in the studio. Howard started to wrap up and gave him some plugs for HopeUnlimited.org and RichardSimmons.com.
Richard was over by Howard and Howard kept asking him not to touch him. He said he didn't want to smell like him. Howard thanked him for coming in and wished him luck. He said it was good to see him. He said he wishes him luck with this Project Hope thing. Richard said he wants him to say something romantic to him. Richard kept asking him to say something. Howard said he has beautiful balls and he wishes he could tongue them. Howard said he's trying to be romantic. Richard got offended. He said he can't believe he just did that. Gary said he thinks that's romantic. Gary said he wishes he'd say that about his balls. Richard said it was horrifying and disgusting. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is there. Howard said he's in a new movie called ''Don Jon'' and he's been working on that for a long time now. Howard said he thinks that his career is on fire right now. Howard said he's been in a lot of good movies. Howard asked if his agents were upset with him over this movie since he was directing and starring in it. Joseph said that it wasn't the best thing financially if you look at it that way. Howard said he loves the movie. He said that he did see it. He said it's an R-rated movie and you don't see that much anymore. Howard said he's dealing with an adult topic. He said every guy is jerking off too much. Howard said it deals with a topic that he didn't take his eyes off the screen for. Howard said thinks that it lets it out of the bag that this is how guys watch pornography. He said that guys do this so they don't have to deal with trying to get a woman in bed. Joseph said that the story is told from both sides too.
Howard asked if he had to cut anything out of the movie. Joseph said that he didn't have to cut anything. He said that he always wanted it to be a rated R movie. Howard said that he wanted to make Private Parts that way too. Joseph said that he was in the middle of shooting 50/50 when he was writing this. He said that Seth Rogen and Evan write movies that are like real life. Howard said that's what it's like working there at Sirius. Howard said he doesn't just use the words to use them. He said if they work into the conversation then that's fine.
Howard said Joseph worked with Tony Danza in this movie. Joseph said that he worked with him 20 years ago too. Howard asked if it's true that Christian Bale tried to talk him out of directing his own movie. Joseph said that it was Chris Nolan who was asking him if he was sure he wanted to do this on this. Howard asked what the budget was on this Don Jon movie. Joseph said it was about 3 or 4 million. Howard said it looks like it cost more than that. Joseph thanked him for that. Howard said this is his baby and he did it all himself. Howard said he has been working on it since 2008. Joseph said that he did start thinking of the initial idea back then. He said he's a Don Juan kind of guy. He said he doesn't want to deal with a real person in his sex life.
Howard asked if he has been in a relationship where he would rather just jerk off than deal with someone. Joseph said that he doesn't stay in relationships like that. Howard asked if that's because he's worth so much and he doesn't want to deal with it. Joseph said he just doesn't want to deal with someone who would be disrespectful to him.
Howard asked Joseph if his parents pushed him into the business. Joseph said they did not. He started at the age of 6 though. Howard said that his grandfather was in the business. His father was a journalist at a radio station. Joseph said that his mother worked at the station too. He said she got into politics at some point.
Howard asked if he masturbates a lot and if he has an addition to that. Joseph said he doesn't really. He said he has had some sex with women that wasn't so good. He said we all have at some point. Howard said he loves the movie because he feels he was obsessed with having sex. He said that it occurred to him that he didn't need that much. Joseph said it can become an obsession. He said that's what the movie is about. Howard said he thinks that he tapped into a lot of what people are going through. Joseph said that they get a satisfaction from a one way thing like TV or porn. Howard asked if he doesn't watch much TV because he's like a hippie. Joseph said he does like TV. He said that he likes watching the Lakers. Howard asked if he's a fan of any TV series. Joseph said that he likes Louie. He said he thinks that he makes brilliant half hour movies.
Howard said Joseph was a child actor and he was on Third Rock from the Sun. Howard said he was a kid on that show. Howard said he admires him for walking away from it and going to college. Howard said that's admirable. Howard said he must have turned down a lot of money. Joseph said that he did. He said the producers were generous to let him walk away from that. Howard said he went to Columbia and he must have gotten a lot of pussy. Joseph said that he never was able to do that. He said it freaked him out too much. He said getting attention from girls for that reason was tough. He said he had a phobia about it.
Howard asked if he gives girls a test to figure out if that's what they're after him for. Joseph said he thinks he has a pretty good sense of it now. Howard said he admires that he was able to say no to Hollywood. Howard said it's hard to do that. Howard said he admires that he made his own movie. Howard said most people would make the grab to get other jobs that pay more. Howard said he did a great job with this movie too. Joseph said that he appreciates that. He said he's glad he liked it. Howard said it shows that Joseph has it together.
Robin asked who his heroes are. Joseph said that he admires a director named Hal Ashby. He said he loves Woody Allen an his movies.
Howard asked Joseph about what he did after college. Joseph said that he got offered some good paying TV roles. He said he wanted to do movies though.
Howard said that Joseph was in the Batman Rises movie. He said that he thought that he could have been the next Batman. He thinks that he would have been good. Joseph thanked him for that. Howard asked if there was any discussion about him being the next one. Joseph said he thinks that it's good to have someone other than Bruce Wayne in the bat cave in the final movie. Howard asked if he thought he'd get the offer to play that part. Joseph said he didn't. He said that he wasn't expecting to be part of that.
Howard said Joseph is a good looking dude. Joseph thanked him for that. Howard said he's a handsome guy. Howard said that he'd like to look like him. Robin said this is funny because Richard Simmons wanted him to say something romantic to him and he didn't do it. Now he's doing it for Joseph.
Howard asked Joseph if he works out every day. Joseph said he did work out for the movie. He said that he works out so much that he just eats and eats. He said that it's all about the looks thing for the movie. He said that this guy goes to the gym and does his thing to look good. Howard asked if he was doing that. Joseph said he was doing it 5 days a week. Howard said he can barely function when he works out hard. Joseph said that it's really not good for you. He said doing the bodybuilding doesn't feel healthy. He said he did another movie where he rode a bike every day and he felt great after that.
Howard asked how much weight he put on for Don Jon. Joseph said he put on 12 pounds. He said that he isn't that big to begin with. Howard said it sounds like he's his type.
Joseph asked if he could have some water. Howard said he's getting a little too comfortable asking for water. He asked if he's some kind of big shot or something. Joseph laughed.
Howard asked Joseph about working with Daniel Day Lewis and if that was weird for him. Joseph said he thinks that the guy is a unique phenomenon. He said that whatever works for him is fine. Robin asked if he took a car to the set as Lincoln. Joseph said it wasn't that crazy that he didn't drive. He said he just stayed in the voice and character. He said he did find a note that he had written to him with a quill and ink. He said that he had studied penmanship that was like Lincoln's. He said that he worked on the role for a full year. Howard asked if Joseph does that kind of stuff. He asked if he took acting lessons. Joseph said that he didn't. Howard asked what he studied at college. Joseph said he dropped out before he picked a major. Joseph said he got a good school experience. Joseph said he dropped out when he started his third year.
Joseph said that he got a copy of Final Cut when he was in school and he was making movies with that. He said once you can edit you can make your own movies. He said he loves that you can work like that. Howard said you can make a short film out of your house with software and cameras that aren't that expensive. Joseph said you could do it on your phone if you wanted to.
Howard said that Joseph hates the Paparazzi. Joseph said every experience with them is bad. He said they're rude. Howard said he made a short film about them. Joseph said he did that when he was about 22. He said that was right around the time he started using Final Cut. Joseph said he had his camera on him and started filming the Paparazzi. He said that was the first film he put up on YouTube.
Howard asked what it was like working with Steven Spielberg. Joseph said that he would work with the actors on doing scenes. He said that he would call Daniel Day Lewis ''Mr. President'' during the filming. Howard said that's crazy. Joseph said that's what acting is all about though. Howard said that Joseph isn't going around doing that kind of thing.
Howard asked how he got Scarlett Johansson in the movie. Joseph said he had her in mind for the movie the whole time. He said he flew out to talk to her on the set of The Avengers and had a discussion with her. Howard said he must have to ask her to do it for almost free. Joseph said that he did. Howard said he must have to give her something on the back end. Joseph said he did. He said he's not sure he should say that but yes. Howard said that the movie is a wide release too. Joseph said that it is. He said that they got the funding and it did get picked up. Howard asked what's up with Scarlett Johansson and if she's with anyone. Joseph said she is engaged. Howard said that means he didn't fuck around with her. Joseph said it's best that they don't fuck around on a movie though. Howard asked if he fell in love with Scarlett on the set. Joseph said it can get confusing on the set. He said that you don't know if it's a real thing or not.
Howard said Joseph has some sex scenes in the movie so he must get aroused. Joseph said of course he does. He said that Denzel Washington once said something like ''Please forgive me if I do get an erection and please forgive me if I don't get one.'' He said that it can happen. Howard said he was aroused on the set of his movie. Joseph said Howard was really feeling the scene. Howard asked Joseph if he could lay there and not get aroused. Joseph said he doesn't think he didn't get an erection. He said he can't confirm or deny. Howard asked if he had to talk to her about it. Joseph said that it's not like she wouldn't know. Howard asked if she told him ''Calm down Junior.'' Joseph laughed. He said they're playing two characters that are enjoying each other.
Howard said he knows an actress that demanded penetration in a movie. Howard said this is someone that he would know. Joseph said he should make demands like that.
Howard said Joseph is good on Saturday Night Live. Joseph said that it's exhilarating to do that show. He said he gets nervous doing it.
Howard asked if it was Daniel Day Lewis or Steven Spielberg that approved him for the movie. Joseph said that Daniel actually asked for him to be in it. He said that he got text messages from him to do the movie. He said that he really is one of his favorites. Howard said that it's risky to direct your own film. He said that he could be just raking in the bucks acting in movies.
Howard asked if he's going to play Dr. Strange. Joseph said that he hasn't heard that. Howard said that would be an acting challenge. Howard said he's got all kinds of mysterious things going on. Howard said that's why he's Dr. Strange.
Howard asked why he's got 3 names. Joseph said that his mom's name was Gordon and his dad's was Levitt so the kids took both of their names. Howard said that it works for him. He said that it has a nice ring.
Howard asked Joseph if he's going to shit his pants over the weekend. Joseph said he'll know by Friday if people are going to see it. He said people are liking it in the tests. He said he thinks that they may not be able to judge it by Friday though. He said that people will go out and tell their friends about it. Howard asked how much he has to make to make it a hit. Joseph said that he just wants to know what kind of money he can get for his next movie. He said he thinks that it's going to be good. He said that he's thinking he'll be able to make another one and that's a success.
Howard asked if Scarlett Johansson is helping promote the movie. Joseph said she is and so are a few other people who are in the movie. Howard said he thinks that Juliette Lewis is kind of stand offish to him. He said she's turned her back on him at a dinner party.
Howard asked if $24 million would be a good take for the movie this weekend. Joseph said he'd be happy with that. He said he'd be happy with $10 million. Howard said that he put 5 years of his life into this. He said he wants to see it pay off. Joseph said it's not about the money. He said that it's not the maximum amount of money that matters. Howard said he really loved the movie. He said it was funny, engaging and sweet in the end. Howard said that it was as romantic as it can get about a guy who jerks off all the time. Howard said it was unusual too though. He said that his directing was strong too. He said he didn't see any strange cuts or anything.
Howard asked who he relies on when you go into it the first time. Joseph said that it's a lot of people. He said there are so many. Joseph said he knew a lot of the people that he went into it with. Howard asked where he shot it. Joseph said it was mostly in L.A.
Howard asked who he hangs with. Joseph said that he is friends with Channing Tatum. He said he has a cameo in the movie. Howard asked if he smokes weed with him. Joseph said he smokes more than Channing does. Howard asked if he gets the medical stuff. Joseph said he lives in L.A. but doesn't have a card. Howard said he can't smoke weed. Joseph said he doesn't smoke it every day. Howard said he has smoked it many times but he gets paranoid now. Joseph said he gets great ideas when he smokes. He said he got the idea for Don Jon while smoking.
Howard asked if he uses anything else. Joseph said that he has tried coke but he didn't like it. He said that he was in the middle of doing a play when he tried it the first time. He said he would get a rush doing the play and he got that rush using coke. He said the coke did the same thing that he got without using it. He said he didn't like it. Joseph said that you get that coke taste in the back of your throat too. Howard asked if he's tried anything else. Joseph said he has done LSD and he liked that. Howard said he did that a long time ago and he did a 4 way hit. Joseph said that's too much. Joseph said that you have to be very careful with that stuff. He said that you should have someone who isn't doing it around you. Joseph said that he just wants that to be clear.
Howard said he had a friend with him who helped him out that night. Howard said if he didn't have him he would have lost his mind. Howard said he didn't know he was supposed to cut it up 4 ways. Joseph said it is dangerous.
Howard asked what a girl has to do to date him. Joseph said he has a girlfriend right now but he doesn't talk about it. He said she's not in show business. He said they have mutual friends. Joseph said that's how they met. Howard asked if he's in love with her. Joseph said that's getting a little personal. Howard said he has a good reason for this. Howard said he loves his wife and there is no greater joy in his life than showing his love by holding her hand. He said that he's not sure about the secrecy. Robin said maybe not everyone is finding what Howard has.
Joseph said that what they do is a little different. Joseph said he plays other people and Howard is being himself. He said he doesn't want people thinking about who he's dating. He said he'd rather have them see him for the character he's playing.
Howard asked how long Joseph has been with this girl. Joseph said that he doesn't like disclosing details like that. Howard said he doesn't get that. Howard said the girl must want him to scream out that he loves her. Joseph said that's just not true. Howard asked if she's Sarah Palin or something. Joseph said that's exactly what it is.
Howard said he doesn't get why people don't talk about their relationships. Joseph said that the girl he's with doesn't want to be a part of that. Howard said he can't imagine that. Howard said she's in love with him and she's got to be proud she's with him. Howard said he'll leave him alone with that.
Howard gave Joseph some plugs for his movie and said he really did like it. Joseph thanked him for that. Joseph said he has a question for him. Joseph said that he has a memory of Howard doing a show that was on after Saturday Night Live. Howard said that he had a couple of shows. He had one on WWOR that was a sketch show. He said that it was a local show and they beat Saturday Night Live. He said he wrote it with Fred and Jackie and a few other guys. Joseph said that his brother would watch it and would tell him that it was the cool thing to watch. Howard said he edited that show in his basement with a couple of guys.
Joseph said that he's working on a TV show that will be on Pivot. He said he's hosting and directing the show. He said that's what he's been doing all year since working on Don Jon. Howard said he should cash in and do some big movies. Joseph said he's going to do something. He said he'll work on that.
Robin asked Joseph about how much he made from that big series and if he held on to it. Joseph said that his dad is good with money and they set him up. He said they didn't rip him off like some Hollywood parents do.
Joseph said his dad has his own business that he does well with. Joseph said he's starting his own company called Hit Record so he doesn't have to work for people. Howard wrapped up and let Joseph go a short time later.
Howard came back and did a live commercial read. After that Howard said they're having some morning. He said the stars are all there this morning.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a good interview with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He said that they have to get it together with the guests asking for water though. Howard said that he's not sure how he's supposed to know they're thirsty.
Howard said James Caan is a great actor and he loves him in The Godfather and in Misery. James came in a short time later. He said that he just flew in from California and that's where normal people live. James said that a water would be fine too. Howard said that someone just complained that he didn't offer water to the guests. James said he didn't really need one.
Howard said he didn't know that a lot of people turned down Misery because of Cathy Bates being the leading lady. Howard said he thought it was a great part for James. Howard read about how some people turned down the movie like Jack Nicholson. James said he turned down Cuckoo's Nest 4 times before Jack got it.
James asked if he's going to ask him to sit down. Howard said he can sit. He asked who's stopping him.
Howard asked why he turned down Cuckoo's Next. James said that he didn't think the movie was visual enough. He said that it was a nice stage play but not a movie. Howard asked if he was upset that he didn't do the movie when it came out. James said it's too late after it comes out. He said it's like looking up a dead horse's ass.
Howard asked if he knew the Godfather was going to be great. James said he knew the company he was keeping was great. He didn't know how the movie was going to be.
Howard said he had Johnny Russo on his show. He said that James beats him up in the Godfather and he said James broke a rib in the fight scene. Howard played a clip of Russo talking about that. In that clip he also said that he almost got whacked on the set of the movie.
Howard asked what's true there. Howard asked if he really gave him a beating. James said that he did hit him when he gave him the hit to the belly. He said that Johnny got himself into a problem with some people. He said that one of them wanted to go talk to him and that's not a good thing. James said that he asked them to wait two weeks until they were done shooting the movie.
Howard said he read that De Niro auditioned for his role. James asked if he's going to tell his stories or can he tell his own stories. James asked if he's still doing that talent show thing. Howard said he'll let him tell the story. James said that he had done a movie with Francis in 1969. He said they were friendly. He told Howard there were four of them that Francis had in mind. He had Bobby Duvall, Al Pacino and Marlon Brando. He said that was the main cast immediately. James was included too. Howard asked if they knew who was going to play who. James said they knew exactly who was playing who. James was getting upset with Howard finishing his story. He said he's going to come over that desk.
Gary said that De Niro did screen test for his part. James said he's trying to explain this. He said he used to like Howard. He said he actually loves him. James said that was the cast. He said they flew up to the studio with Francis. He said they did some improvs and stuff together. He said that it wasn't an audition. James asked if he has time for this. Howard said he could listen to this all day.
Howard asked James if he'll ever get married again. James said he can't say that. He said he's been married 18 years now. Howard said he doesn't know what he's up to. Howard said James has had a lot of women. James said he loved them all. Howard asked who was the best. James said it has to be his current wife. Howard said he has to exclude her. James said he has to say it was a cardboard cut out. He said he can't say. Howard asked if he had Raquel Welch. James said no. He said she was sexy lady. Howard asked if he ever thinks back on those women. James said you can't look back.
James got back to the casting story. He said that they had four people cast. He said the people at Paramount said if they mentioned Brando's name again they were going to fire him. He said he got a call one night from Francis. He said they were doing research. He said Francis said they wanted him to come in and test for the part. He said they wanted him to play Michael. He said this was before they started shooting. He said then the next thing you know they had like 500 actors auditioning. He said everyone was there for this. James said that he didn't want to play the role of Michael. He said that he knew that Francis wanted Al's part to be Michael. He wanted him to look like a Sicilian. He said that Francis had it all down in his head.
Howard asked if he was offered the part of Superman at one point. James said he was. He said that the first one was supposed to be tongue in cheek. He said it was written by Mario Puzzo. He said they were going to make it funny. He said they approached him to play the part. James said that they had the office set up at the Daily Planet so he had to pass Lois Lane. He said that at one point Clark Kent rips his clothes off and calls Lois in his office and she comes in to see him in his Superman outfit. He said she just thinks Clark is pretending to be Superman. Howard asked why they didn't do the movie that way. James said another director got the job and they changed it.
James said that he got a call from Brando one night and he asked him to do a picture with him. Howard said Brando got the part as Superman's father. James said that he was trying to finish this story. He said that Brando told him that he had to do the picture with him. He said he wanted to laugh. James said that Brando asked him to do the movie and he told him that they were making two movies out of the one. He said he told him that he wasn't going to wear the suit and Brando hung up and he never heard from him again.
Howard asked if James turned down Star Wars. James said that they didn't want an actor, that's why they got Harrison Ford. He said he was pretty mediocre at the time. Howard asked if he's ever worked with him. He said he worked with him and he called him by the wrong name. James said he wasn't even good at that.
Howard asked what his problem is with Harrison Ford. James said that he didn't say that he wasn't in his league.
Howard said he turned down Star Wars, Close Encounters and Kramer Vs. Kramer. James said he didn't turn down Star Wars or Close Encounters. He said that he did turn down Kramer Vs. Kramer. James said you can't tell what people are going to like. Howard said it's a crap shoot. James said that Love Story was a horror. He said he had a legitimate reason to turn down Kramer Vs. Kramer. He said the movie turned out great but it didn't interest him. Howard said James is a tough guy.
Howard said James turned down Apocalypse Now. James said he did. Howard said that must have killed him. James said that it didn't kill him. James said that he was doing another movie at the time that he got offered Apocalypse Now. He said Harvey Keitel was supposed to have the role that Martin Sheen had. Howard said that would have been brilliant. James said that they shot for 2 weeks and threw him the fuck off the movie. Howard said that must be tough to deal with. James said that has never happened to him.
James told Howard that he went in for the Colonel Collins part and he was told that they couldn't give that to him. He said they offered him the lead role. Howard said that Martin Sheen said that role almost killed him. James said everyone said that they almost died over there. He said they were going to be there for 16 weeks. James said they were offering him a huge house and servants and stuff. He said that he didn't want to live there that long.
Howard asked if it killed him when he saw the movie. James said it really didn't. He said that he and Francis were very close. He said he saw the movie and he told him what he thought was wrong with it. He said no one cared if Sheen's character died.
Howard asked if he has seen any of these TV shows like breaking Bad and things like that. James said he has not. Howard said that's the kind of roles he should be looking at. James said he has a TV show. Howard said that's right. He has the show ''Back in the Game'' and it starts tomorrow night.
Howard asked if he likes it when he leaves a TV show and it tanks after. James said he doesn't like that. Howard said he has to be lying. James said maybe he is. James said they had a show runner on the show whose head was empty. He said the guy had an ego that was ridiculous. He said he had a piece of the back end of that show and that was one reason he did it.
Howard asked James about how he was ripped off by someone who worked for him. James said that he had 20 years of stuff stolen from him. He said they stole 25 percent of what he had made over 20 years. He said that 25 percent of what he made was put into a pension plan. He said that they wanted him to pay the penalty for that too. James said that he was pretty much bankrupt. He had to borrow money.
Howard asked if he has made enough money that he doesn't have to do a show now. James said that he's really happy doing this TV show. He said that he's done some movies and he still has some integrity. He said his pride is there when people come up and ask him questions. He said that people like Johnny Depp come to him for advice. He said there are some wonderful actors out there. He said he wouldn't trade that for anything.
Howard asked James about the new TV show and he said that he might play the most horrifying person on TV. He said that he's playing a guy who is like Sandy Koufax. He said the cast is great and the show is funny.
Howard asked James about his kid being in Little League and if he beat up one of the umpires. James said that they called a kid out and they were wrong. He said that it wasn't his kid though. Howard said he's a maniac. James said he didn't beat the guy up either. He said he just chased them. He said he likes to laugh. He said he quit the business for 6 years and just coached. James said he lost his sister and he got really fucked up. He said he went a little nuts. He said he lost her to leukemia. James said she was younger than him and it really affected him.
James said that he enjoyed coaching. He said he could turn the kids around. He said he had one kid who wasn't having a great time. He said the kid hit a big hit one day and he had this thing where they had the whole team come out and congratulate him. He said the kid came around to home plate and he jumps on the plate. The kids come out and hug him and then the ump says the kid is out. He said that he didn't touch second base. James said that the schmuck father on the other team says that the kid didn't touch first base. James said that the kid just hit his first home run and maybe they should give him a break. He said the umpire told him he was out of there for asking the question. James said he got thrown out of the game. He said after the game this guy walks to him with a bat in his hand. He said he told the guy to start using it right now. He said they knew he wasn't kidding. He said the guys climbed the fence and ran off. He said he never took a swing or took a shot at them. He said he just hit one of the mothers. He said he really didn't beat anyone up.
Howard asked if he thinks that his best role was Misery. James said no. Howard asked who turned down the role.
Howard asked what happened to Rob Reiner. James said he got fat. Howard asked what sucked the life out of him. James said he got very politically involved. Howard said that James is super conservative. James said he is.
Howard played a clip from Misery for James. Howard said this was such a great role. Howard said that scene was the greatest. It's where Kathy Bates was smashing his feet. Howard asked if that scream was real. James said he just screamed. He said he didn't have to have his feet really smashed.
James said that if you look at that movie most of the violence is taken out of it other than that one scene. He said that in the book there's a lot more violence.
Howard asked if he's pissed that she won the Academy Award and he didn't. James said that he didn't get pissed. James said that he was nominated for Oscars. He said he lost to Joel Grey. Howard said he could have done that part with his eyes closed.
Howard gave James some plugs for his new show ''Back in the Game'' and said that it's on tomorrow night at 8:30 on ABC. Howard said James has done it all and he has his respect. Howard said he doesn't know about the punks on Vegas. James said it was just one guy. James said that the new show is great and Howard will love this Cullen guy.
Howard played a clip of James singing with Barbara Streisand. He asked if he ever fucked her. James said he didn't. Howard said he heard he did from Marlon Brando. James said that he never did. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard said he has a guy sitting in today who gave money to the 15 Foundation. He wanted to remain anonymous. Howard said they can do that. Howard told him to sit and watch him because it's fascinating. Howard told him if he closes his eyes then just push him to wake him up.
Howard said that he has multiple meetings after the show today. He said the show takes a lot to run. He said he finds himself in adult situations and he never expected that when he got into radio.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the James Caan interview was great. He said that yesterday Gary was looking at Jenny McCarthy's ass when she visited. Howard said Gary is a bit ape like. He can't control his urges. Howard said he saw an attractive woman yesterday and he didn't look at her. He didn't want to be that guy who gets caught staring. Howard said Gary just looks. He said he'll just tell him to check out her ass. Howard said he just stares at guys instead.
Howard said he still doesn't have the new iPhone. He said that he better get it today. He said his team is letting him down. He said he glued his iPhone 3 to his iPhone 4 and now he has an iPhone 7.
Howard said he has to start the news because he has a lot of meetings today. Fred played Robin into her news with a Metallica song parody.
Howard said he has a clip of a FOX news reporter saying ''Box cunter'' instead of box cutter. Howard played the clip and it was a female reporter making the mistake. Howard got a laugh out of that.
Robin started her news with a story about Howard. Robin said that the story was about Katie Couric possibly replacing Barbara Walters on The View. That was picked up when Jenny McCarthy was in. Robin said that they picked it up in the Daily News. Robin said the Daily News said that they heard the same rumor. Howard said that might be where he read the rumor.
Robin read that the Queen of England is looking for someone to wind her clocks. Robin said there's a posting on the Royal web site. Howard said you'd think they could do it themselves since they do nothing all day. Howard said they must have 10 million clocks to wind. He said he has mixed feelings about royalty. He said that it's kind of screwed up that these people are paid millions for what they do. Howard said it's upsetting. Robin said they have about 1000 clocks that need to be set to the right time.
Howard took a call from David Arquette. David said he wants to wind clocks. He said he's so glad that Robin is healthy. Robin thanked him for that. Robin said she mentioned David in an interview she did with Rolling Stone. Robin said that she got new ones because David wanted to get some new ones. David asked if she told the rest of that story. Robin said she didn't. David said he kissed Robin that night. He was making out with Robin when he said goodbye. Robin said that he tongue kissed her. Howard asked why Robin didn't go there with him. Robin said she forgets what station she was in at the time. Howard said he should fuck her now. Howard said he has a confession to make. He said he had his tongue down his ex-wife's throat too. He said he was just kidding. Howard said he has to stay on schedule. He said he has to get going. David said that they have a movie for Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He said that it's a $60 million movie. Howard said he's being cryptic. Howard let him go a short time later.
Robin said she's never discussed that kiss. She said that it was a shocking thing for her. Howard asked if they were high. Robin said they were drinking wine that night. Robin said it was a complete surprise that night. She said they never saw each other again after that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Burger King adding a new type of French fry that has 40 percent less fat. Howard wondered if Jon Hein would eat that. He called Jon in to talk about it. Jon said that he would not. He said once you walk in there you want the fat fries. He said it's just another mistake Burger King is making. He said they make terrible decisions. Howard said maybe people watching their weight will get them. Jon said if you're watching your weight you don't go there. Jon said that the taste is in the fat and there's no way they'll taste as good.
Robin read more about that and then Howard said he heard a story about Jon from Gary. He said that Jon went to dinner with JD and they ended up going to Chipotle which is fast Mexican food. Howard said Gary went down with Jon and JD. He said that they brought the food back up to the office and JD wanted to go to his office and eat. Gary said they were the only 3 people in the compound and JD didn't want to eat with them. Howard said JD is like a feral animal. JD came in and said he wanted to finish his work. Howard said having dinner together means going their separate ways with JD. Jon said JD has work to do and he can't do it if he's not in front of his screen. Howard said JD could get his own food and go to his office to eat it. Howard said he could have told him to get his own food. Jon said he told him he'd go with him. Howard said they're just buying dinner together. He said JD doesn't need someone to walk him down there. JD said he could do it by himself but then Jon gives him dirty looks. Jon likes to go to dinner with someone.
Howard said this whole thing is weird. Gary said he was asking JD about the Metallica concert and he didn't know about it until the week before. Gary said that JD told him there were going to be a lot of people there and he didn't want to go. Howard said there were only 1500 people there. JD said it looked better than he had it pictured in his mind. He said he over thinks everything in his life. Howard said that's another look at the strange loves of Jon and JD. Fred played them out with the Odd Couple theme song.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if NBC is grooming him for a late night show. Howard said he doesn't know if they're grooming him for anything. He said he's been in the business for so long already. He said they're set with their late night shows. Howard said they don't need anyone. The caller asked if he would take a job but he had to make peace with Leno. Howard said he wouldn't do that. Howard said Leno got burned last night when Justin Timberlake didn't show up. He said Justin is going to be on Kimmel tonight though.
Robin got back to her Burger King news and read more about what they're offering on their menu these days.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw the picture of JD shoving fries down his throat. JD said that he got Shanghai'd with that picture. He said someone took it just walking by his office. Howard said JD has to not tuck his shirt in. JD said it wasn't tucked in. Howard said JD has a big date coming up. He's going out with Beth. Howard said JD wants to see a movie that she's taking him to. Howard said he was cool with it though. Howard said she's going to get all decked out and go with JD. JD said it's the movie ''Gravity'' with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. He said they get stuck up in space. That's happening next Tuesday. Howard asked JD if he'll go there with Beth if she comes on to him. JD said he sees her more as a sister. He said he won't do anything. Howard asked if he has his guarantee on that. JD said he's being ridiculous. JD said ''...If anyone else comes on her... if anyone else comes on to her.'' Everyone had a laugh over that mistake.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him how great the James Caan interview was. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said that this is UN week there in New York City. Robin said that traffic is always tied up during that time. Robin said that President Obama is going to be there and people are wondering what's going to happen with the new Iranian president.
Robin read about an attack against a Columbia University professor. Robin said they're saying that it might be a hate crime. Robin read some details about the beating and why they think it might be a hate crime.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who asked if he saw the nip slip on the Emmys. Howard said he saw it in the paper. He said that she has a sexy nip too. He said that he finds her really attractive too.
The guy sitting in the studio was brought up and Howard wondered why he wanted to remain anonymous. The guy said one reason is because his wife doesn't know he's there today. Howard spent a little time talking to him about that. The guy was saying that he's been married about 3 years. Howard said he doesn't see that lasting much longer.
Robin read about the Clinton Global Initiative is going on this week. Robin had some details about that.
Robin read about a Maine man who may have been recruited by Somalian terrorists for the kidnapping in Kenya. Robin said that Portland Maine is a place that they may be recruiting.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the James Caan interview was great. He said that he keeps him awake every day listening to the show.
Robin read more about the Kenyan shooting and how some American's may have been involved. Robin had some audio of an official talking about that.
Robin read about a North Dakota town where they have 24 residents. Robin said a man was there to have a meeting about a Neo-Nazi buying up property to possibly make it a Neo-Nazi town.
Robin said that Wonder Bread is returning after they went bankrupt last year with Hostess. Howard said that he gets the feeling that you'd get more nutrition from cardboard when he looks at that packaging.
Robin said that people with disabilities will no longer go to the front of the line at Disney World or Disneyland. Howard said he knew people who abused that rule. Robin said now people will get a ticket with a return time. Howard said people get those scooters that get you right to the front of the line. Howard said it's fat people who can't walk that end up there. Robin said poor Eric the Actor won't be able to move to the front of the line anymore. Robin read about how they're trying to curb the abuse. Howard said no one thinks Eric is faking it at Disney.
Robin read about how the sewer systems are being clogged by baby wipes and Howard uses them. Howard said that he read that. He said he's going to keep using them. He said he can't go back to toilet paper. Howard said he needs that loose gel on there. Gary said he is addicted to the wipes. He said he can't pull his pants up without using a wipe. Gary said that Sal had to spend thousands to clear his pipes up at home because of the wipes. Robin said the wipes are supposed to be flushable but they don't degrade after use. Robin said they cost millions to clean up. Howard said he would buy a baby wipe that is biodegradable and flushable. Robin said you have to read the label.
Richie Wilson came in and said that they did a lot of research on that. He said that the Shittens they came out with are able to be turned inside out and they're scented so you don't smell it. Howard said that's a good idea. Howard said he might have to set up a plastic liner in a trash can for wiping. He said he doesn't want Beth seeing him carrying that around. He said she is around a lot. Howard said it'll be like Mission Impossible getting it around. Fred played the Mission Impossible theme song while they talked about that. Robin said that in London they found a 15 ton clog that took 3 weeks to dislodge. Howard asked his assistant Laura to find a good flushable wipe that he can use but not talk to him about it. He told her to just find them and replace everything in the house. Howard went into a live commercial a short time later.
Robin read a story about how Cory Monteith was honored at the Emmys the other night. They overlooked Jack Klugman to do that. Howard said that they want the young kids to view the show. Robin said they didn't have to ignore Jack Klugman. Howard said Robin should be producing the Emmys. Howard said that they did have bigger ratings and younger viewers this year though. Robin said that Jack put in all of that time and effort and he wasn't honored at the Emmys.
Robin said that Breaking Bad had record breaking numbers in the ratings this week. Robin said it had 6.6 million viewers. Dexter had 2.8 million which was a record as well. They were both up against the Emmys.
Robin read about a guy who spent some time in jail for having sex with a 14 year old girl. Robin said that Woody Allen is friends with the guy. Robin said that they were seen on the street talking and going into the guy's house. Robin wrapped up with her news.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about Howie Mandel and his germophobia. He asked if he touches money. Howard said Howie's wife washes his money for him. He said that they wash it in the wash in the pockets of his pants. The caller said he saw that Howie grabbed a dollar that Collins Key handed to him. Howard said Howie can overlook that for TV. He said he's able to overlook that to touch Heidi too. The caller said he kissed Howard too. Howard said that's for TV so he can over ride it. Howard said he knows that you can do that when you have OCD.
The caller asked Howard if he's going to do AGT next year. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he's going to think about it but it's such a big time commitment. Howard said he does enjoy doing the show though.
Howard did a commercial for Shittens and it's really taking off. Howard asked Richie if he wanted to come in and talk about it. Richie came in with the Shittens on his hand. Howard said that you can wipe things without getting anything on your hand. Richie said they're being carried in Ace Hardware. He said that they just had a run in with a woman in a park who had her dog roll in dog shit so they gave her Shittens. Howard did the live commercial read and then ended the show around 10:00am.
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Jon asked JD about going to the movie next week with Beth. Jon asked if he discusses movies with her a lot. JD said they do. Jon said he didn't know what his relationship was with her. JD said that it's very casual. He said this is a little nerve wracking. Gary asked if he's going to walk the red carpet with her. JD said he'd rather not. He said that he doesn't want to be photographed in his suit. He said he just wants to see the movie. Jon said that he would get to walk the red carpet with a beautiful woman. He said he should experience that. JD said he's just going to keep on walking. Jon said Beth won't let him walk without her. Gary told him to keep his chin up and out so he doesn't look fat. Jon said he hopes he has a good time with her.
Jon said that he and JD were in the studio talking about their meals. He said JD found it odd that Gary finds it odd that he goes back to eat in his office. Gary said he thought it would be a nice break to come in there to eat. JD said he had some work to do. Gary said he likes people and JD doesn't. Gary said he thought that he liked them. JD said he does like them. He just doesn't like talking. JD said he likes to use his time wisely. Gary said he thinks that's a cop out.
Gary said that he was kind of perplexed when he didn't come over to eat with them. He said he wasn't upset about it. Gary said he was shocked when JD ordered ''to go'' at the restaurant. He said he thought that they were going to eat down there.
The guys ended up talking to JD about moving and finding another place. JD said he wants to have a bigger place and not a smaller place that's closer to home. JD said that he would rather stay in New York and not move across the river. Gary said that it would be fairly easy to love over there in Jersey.
Steve Brandano said that he'd like JD to move to Brooklyn so they can hang out with him. He said that there are friends out there that he'd hang out with.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary has to spell things out for JD so he knows what he wants to do for him. Gary said he actually wanted to buy dinner for JD but he got in front of him in line. They went to break a short time later.
Ronnie said that Richard was touching all of the pictures of Howard when he came in there. He said that all of them were falling down too.
Jon said it's hard to get the real Richard in there. Gary said that he came in dressed as half Dame Edna and half his uncle. He said that he ended up taking off that outfit and became Richard Simmons. Jon said Richard ends up singing and doing things like that in the interview. Gary said that he wants to know more about Richard but he always changes it up by singing.
Ronnie said that Richard left around 7:30 or whenever and he was in the lobby singing at the top of his lungs. He said everyone froze. He said they all started taking pictures and laughing.
Jon asked if he has to be the center of attention. Gary said that it might be a defense mechanism. He said he had him come to the hospital once when his brother was in there. He said there was a large nurse there and he ended up pulling on her underwear that he could see through her outfit. He said it was funny but he thinks he does that so he doesn't have to interact in a different way.
Gary said that Richard picked up on Howard's germ phobia and he was all over his console and all over Howard. He said that Richard asked if he could lick Howard's hand at one point.
Jon said that Sal came in and got a hug from Richard. Richard wanted no part of it. He said he thinks that Sal showed Richard his penis before he left.
JD said he loves Richard. He said he wishes he had cried though. He said that he's a whacko and it's hilarious. Jon said Richard did take off his headphones once. He was going to walk out. Gary said Howard tried to have a conversation with him but it just wasn't happening.
Steve asked if Richard had any interaction with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. There was no interaction. Ronnie said Richard was gone by the time James Caan came in too. Steve said that's probably for the best.
Jon asked Ronnie if he stares at attractive women. Ronnie said he just lets it go and looks. He said he doesn't stare at them. He said he doesn't walk around with a hard on in his pants either. He said Gary did that once.
Ronnie told JD to look in Long Island City or Astoria for a place to live. He said they'd be close to work. Jon asked Ronnie if he would hang out with JD there. Ronnie said he'd have him over to some places in Long Island City because he's there often.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she almost ran off the road during that Richard Simmons interview. She said Howard lost control of that interview. Ronnie said that Richard used to run off the show saying he can't deal with it anymore. Gary said Richard has been in the business for so long and he has no idea where the microphone is. He said that he just wanders around.
Benjy asked about how Howard used to have Richard over to his home. Gary said that he used to go to Howard's house for dinner. Ronnie said Richard went to Gary's wedding and he was crying hysterically at it. Gary said he once came to his apartment building and he was crying in the lobby. Gary said he was mad that Howard didn't want to go see the Prince of Tides with him.
Jon asked Ronnie about AGT being over. He asked if he's upset about that. Ronnie said that it flew by for him. He said the worst part was the Tuesday nights. He said that he had 20-21 hour days on those days. He said he thinks that Howard will do it again. He said he thinks he loves doing it that much that he'll work it out again to do it.
Gary said he wasn't sure Howard was going to do it after the first season. Jon said that it's at the end of the season and he's exhausted. He said it turns out being more work than he thinks. Ronnie said they're supposed to be adding another city on next season so that's more travel. Gary said Howard has to work around all of those things.
Ronnie said Howie works it out. He said he loves hanging out with Howie too. He said he called him cute one day and that's been going on the whole season. He said he loves the guy, he's great. They went to break after that.
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Benjy said that they have to get him a gift and bring the guy there to give it to him. Gary said JD has to learn to go to a store to buy a suit. He said this would help him. Jon said he hopes he's up for it. He said he'd chip in for it. Benjy said he would too. Gary said that Macys has all of the main brands and they have what he needs there.
JD came in and asked what's going on. Ronnie said he's going with him and he's not saying no. He told him that his suit is hideous and he has to get something new. JD said that this is a different suit than what he's thinking. Ronnie said it is not. The guys all told him they want to buy him a suit. JD said he needs it by next Tuesday. Ronnie said they'll go Thursday then. JD gave them a ''Whatever'' and didn't sound so thrilled about it. JD said going and trying it on and all of that is too much. He said he doesn't want the charity either. Gary said to look a lot better takes a tiny bit of effort. JD said he's not that into that. He said he just wants to go see the movie.
Ronnie said he had to yell at JD to go to do the block party stuff. He said that's the way you have to talk to him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he had a suggestion for Ralph to help him but he likes this idea better. He said they could have some Scores girls come down and ooo and ahh at him while he's trying them on. Ronnie said that's not good. The caller said that he's got to get a new suit or he'll feel like crap the week after.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was curious about Howard always bringing up how he got aroused when he made Private Parts. He asked why he goes there all the time. Gary said he goes there to ask how actors handle that situation. The caller said he asks every actor that.
Jon brought up the discussion Joseph had with Howard about Daniel Day Lewis. The guys talked about the method acting and what they think of that. Gary said the funny thing about Lewis is that he sounds like a douche when you hear stories but then you see him interviewed and he seems like a good dude.
Jon took a call from a guy who told them not to leave it up to JD to buy shoes. Gary said he knows. He said they need a suit, shirt, tie, shoes and maybe even socks. Ronnie said that's easy. Jon asked what else they need. Ronnie said that should be enough. He said a nice shirt, tie and shoes with the suit should be good.
Jon moved on to talk about James Caan and how he loves breaking people's balls. He said he thinks that's why he loves Howard so much. He said that Howard kept interrupting and James was breaking his balls over it.
The guys also talked about how James went after the umpire at a little league game. Ronnie said he saw the same thing going on at a game recently. He said the parents get carried away with that stuff. Gary said he heard a story about something Mary saw at a flag football game for 11 year olds. A guy got put in cuffs for over reacting to what was happening in the game.
Jon took a call from a guy who corrected Gary on a Dustin Hoffman story he told earlier. He said he thought that Jon would have known that. Jon said he knew which movie it was but didn't know which scene it was. Jon said it's time to wrap up the Wrap Up Show. They ended the show around 11:00am.
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Howard started the show talking about how busy the show was going to be today. Howard asked how Robin is doing. She said she was fine.
Howard said they have Floyd Mayweather Jr. coming in. He said Michael J. Fox is coming in too. Howard said he's excited about that. He said that Beth is in the paper today. She went to the Opera the other night with her friend and she got all dressed up for that. Howard said he was at home watching the final episode of Dexter that night. Howard said she's got a huge spread in the paper.
Howard said he saw that Benjy and his friend Marianne Garvey broke up as friends. Benjy wasn't saying much. Howard said he saw it on a TV show. Benjy was making weird noises about it so Howard said he's a moron for even trying to talk to him about it. They played a Benjy Vortex promo as Howard was giving up on the conversation. Robin said they won't know what happened with Benjy.
Howard said Benjy will come to him in the commercial and talk to him about why he didn't say anything. Howard asked him not to talk to him about it. He said he'll say that Elisa will get upset about it. Howard said he doesn't want to talk to him off the air. Benjy said he never comes up to him off the air. Howard said he knows he'll say something. Benjy said no. He said he doesn't lean in to him. Howard asked why he can't answer that question. Fred did his impression of Benjy and made those weird noises. He asked Howard if he could have Floyd Mayweather punch Benjy. Howard said he can't do that.
Howard said Floyd makes a tremendous amount of money fighting. Howard played a clip of Larry Merchant being confronted by Floyd Mayweather in the ring. Floyd was going on and on about how he never gets a fair shake in that ring.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who asked what's up. Howard said that's what Gary dos to him when he calls. Howard said Gary called him and he's asking what's up. The caller said he watched Brickleberry the other night and that's the show that Yucko is doing. Tommy said they stole a bunch of lines from Riley Martin and Howard. Howard said he's doing an homage to the show. He said he's so sorry he even picked up the phone.
Howard said one of their fans called Riley and got him all worked up about that. He said that he has to explain what it's all about now. He said that Riley was talking in Bihavian on his show. Howard played the clip and the caller was telling Riley about what happened on Brickleberry when they were using his lines about taking people up in an alien ship. The caller asked if he owned any of the rights to that because it was a blatant rip off of him and his show. Riley was saying that he's been ripped off for a long time now.
Howard said this doesn't make sense at all. Howard played more of the audio and Riley was going on about how he's been ripped off for years. He said he couldn't get anything done if he tried to stop it. Riley said the Bihavians would say... and went into some of what they would say. Howard said Riley always gets in some of the same lines.
Howard said that Tommy was talking about that show but it's not a rip off. Howard played a prank call the guys made to a guy using Riley Martin audio clips. They had Riley saying some of his lines and the guy on the line was getting all pissed off at him. They went to break after that.
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Howard took another call from a guy who sounded like he was in a rain storm with his awful phone connection. The caller said he likes the prank call they made with Richard saying ''Gary!?'' over and over.
Howard said they took the audio of Richard singing to him yesterday and put the music with it. He said he makes him laugh every time. Howard said you can't keep a straight face during that performance.
The caller asked how he keeps his composure when he's messing with him and pretending he's not. Howard said that's his unique gift.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's ever interviewed Vanna White. Howard said he hasn't but Robin said they actually did in Los Angeles when they did a show out there. Howard said he didn't remember that. The caller said he'd like to hear that. He said he's first cousins with her. Howard asked if he's ever seen her naked. The guy said that he hasn't but his dad told him he once saw her getting fucked. He said that he told him some weird stories about her. Howard asked if he left the room or just yelled at her. The caller said he guesses he just yelled at her.
Howard said JD was on Wheel of Fortune once. He played a bit the guys created using clips of the show with JD mumbling things as the answers for the puzzles.
Howard played the prank call the caller mentioned earlier where they had Richard Simmons clips yelling ''Gary!?'' over and over to Gary the Retard. Howard also played the ''Move Like Howard'' song that the guys created using the clips from yesterday's show.
Gary told Howard that they did an interview with Vanna White on the channel 9 show where they had Fred playing Bruce Willis and offering her a movie role. He said she was really excited about it and they never let her know it wasn't really him.
Howard said he was telling someone off the air about the channel 9 show because they had no idea what it was. Howard said that he told him about the crazy things they did with the C-level guests they had on the show. Howard said they would do Gilligan's Island parodies and they didn't tell the actors ahead of time what they were going to be doing. Howard said Gary Busey did the show and got pissed when they did the Head Injury Club For Men bit. Gary said they'd make people wait for hours while they got set up. He said they'd disconnect the TV set in the green room so they couldn't see what they were going to be doing.
Howard said he did a bit with Sabrina Lebouf called ''black people who look white'' and he had a huge afro that went to the ceiling. Howard said they didn't get the list of guests until Wednesday and they had to come up with a show by Saturday.
Gary said he talks to a lot of people about that show and it was on regular TV. He said there were people who were very young and that was like their porn at that time. Howard said they had a lot of girls in bikinis on the show. Gary said they bounced quarters off of one girl's stomach.
Howard said JD was on the Wrap Up Show last week and he was talking about his spoon collection and going crazy when they brought it up. Howard said that JD got all upset when a caller said he was going to send him some spoons. Howard said it was really funny.
Howard played some audio from the show last week where Richard was talking about the spoon he bought for JD over in England. JD explained what he had done with the spoon after he got it from Richard. He didn't throw it away but he didn't want it.
Howard said JD is refusing to accept spoons now. Howard played clips of him talking about that. He said any spoons he gets from then on will be trashed. Gary tried talking to him about it but JD said he's not going to keep them.
Howard said that's the greatest. JD came in and said he has 4 spoons there and people keep sending them. He said he doesn't need spoons. He said he doesn't want them. They had a song parody about JD's spoon collecting. JD just let out an ''Ugh'' when he heard that. Howard said that was Eli Braden.
Howard asked JD what he has there. JD had a Cincinnati spoon and a I Love New York spoon. Howard asked what he's going to do with them. JD said he doesn't collect spoons so he doesn't know. Gary said Sal said he was going to bring in a spoon rack to hang them on and JD freaked out telling him not to. Howard asked why he doesn't want him to bring it in. JD said he doesn't want it in his office. Howard said he should put it on display. JD said he doesn't care about spoons. Howard said he should put them in a display case.
Howard said at one point JD did collect spoons. Howard asked if he gets any joy from seeing them. JD said no. He said the ''lure has gone.'' Then he said that the lust has gone. Howard asked who ruined spoons for him. JD said he has just moved on. Robin said he doesn't have to go anywhere to get them.
Howard said JD is like Ringo Starr asking people not to send him spoons and saying ''Peace and love, peace and love.'' Howard played the Ringo clip and JD said ''Exactly.''
Howard said they have a spoon coming in now on a fishing rod. That was Sal doing that. Howard asked about what his mother has. Sal said she has a ton of spoons. Howard asked if she'll miss her spoon display. Sal said he doesn't think she'll miss it for a few weeks. Howard told Sal to bring it in. JD said he doesn't want it but he knows Sal will bring it in.
Howard asked JD what was going on with the safe discussion he had on the Wrap Up show. JD said he has a case that he keeps things in.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked if he goes into an internal fight with himself when Beth is getting ready to go out. Howard said there's a part of him that wants to stay home and watch TV but there's a part that wants to go out with her. Howard said the part that wants to watch TV wins out all the time. King asked if he gets upset when she comes home. Howard said he's happy for her. Howard said she's happy an he's happy. He said that she comes home and gets in bed with him. King said he doesn't believe that. Howard said he's not afraid of anything. He said that no one is going to pick her up and steal her away. Howard said if it did then his heart would be broken. King said that it seems like she's running away from him. Howard said she has her own life. He said he's explained that to him before. Howard told him to shut the fuck up as he was mumbling on that awful phone of his. Howard hung up on him and said he has to take a break because Floyd Mayweather is there.
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Howard came back and said that they have Floyd Mayweather there. He quickly gave him a plug for his web site FloydMayweather.com. Howard said he heard he didn't get any sleep last night because he was doing an appearance at a strip club. Howard asked why he has to do that with the money he's getting paid. Floyd said that it doesn't hurt to make more. He said this week he should be making about $100,000 in appearances alone.
Howard said most boxers end up going broke. Howard said that Floyd gambles a lot and he'll bet $6 million on a bet. Floyd said it's not that much. Howard said he thinks that's going to lead to trouble. Floyd said that life is a gamble. He said Howard gambled and took a risk to get where he's at. He said he offended people and some weren't offended. Howard said once you get that payoff you shouldn't gamble the money away. Howard said he should hold on to that money. Floyd said he has some good investments. He said he could quit today.
Howard said Floyd owns a G4 plane. He said that's a $50 million plane. Floyd said it's not that much. Howard said he does own the plane though. Floyd said he's on a plane a lot. Howard asked if it's true that he doesn't have his friends on the plane. Floyd said when he was on tour he had two planes. He said his security guys are very big. He said that he has some guys who are 400 pounds. Floyd said he didn't want all of that weight on his plane. That's why he got two planes. Howard said that costs a lot of money to fly. Howard said he just wants to make sure he's okay. Floyd said he'll come back in 10 years and he'll still be okay unlike Mike Tyson.
Howard asked if it's true that there's a video of him burning money. Floyd said it's all just fun. He said the money wasn't real actually. He said it was all a stunt. He said he wouldn't burn his own money.
Howard asked what it's like to be able to beat a fucker almost to death with his fists. Floyd said he's in the hurt business so that's what he does. Howard asked what age he was when he beat someone for the first time. Floyd said it's been that way his whole life.
Howard said Floyd's dad was a hard ass. He said that he was a boxer too. Howard said that he'd make Floyd fight and he never had a kid's life. Floyd said he was jogging in combat boots and chopping wood at the age of 10. He said he doesn't mind that though. He said he helped in a way. He said he has the will to win at whatever he does. He said he wants to win on the Howard Stern Show. Howard said he had a tough life. He said that his mom was an addict. Floyd said she was a functional addict. He said his aunt died of AIDS. His mother used crack. He said his dad went to prison.
Howard asked if you have to have a background like that to be a good fighter. He said it has to be a combination of horrors. Floyd said you do need a great story. He said you need that sales pitch. He said he just has the will to win.
Howard asked if he got angry with his dad. Floyd said that he and his dad just disagree. He said he didn't fight with him. He said that his dad came back into his life when he was 21 and he was already an adult. He said he had a house and a car when his dad came back. He said his dad moved into his home and he was trying to dictate what he did there. Floyd said he didn't let that happen.
Howard asked if he was beaten. Floyd said he was. Howard asked what that was about. Floyd said that it was about school. He said he got beaten for just about everything though. He said he had a belt beating and an extension cord too.
Howard said the one thing that pisses him off about his life is that his dad offered to coach one of his competitors when he dropped him as a coach. Howard said that must have made him freak out. Howard said he should have told him to go train that mother fucker and he'd beat his ass. Floyd said that's what he did. Howard said that would make him insane if someone did that to him. He said that he'd have to do something wild.
Howard asked if he's drinking coffee this morning. He was. Howard said they saw that he put in 8 sugars in that coffee. Floyd said that he didn't make the coffee. Howard said he can afford to drink that because he works it off working out. Floyd said he's able to keep his weight in check. He said that he stays around 150 pounds.
Howard asked if he is the greatest boxer ever. Floyd said that he has broken every record. Howard asked if he got Larry Merchant fired. Floyd said he's able to make a lot of money for HBO and he has broken his own records when it comes to the Pay-Per-View. He said that he thinks that the numbers are going to be crazy.
Howard said he watches some of his fights and a lot of the guys are taller than him. Floyd said he doesn't worry about that. He said he takes his time and just gets the job done. He said he keeps his composure.
Howard said he heard that he carries duffel bags of cash with him so he can pay in cash. Floyd said that he believes that cash is king. He said certain places he goes he'd rather pay in cash and not have his credit card stolen. Howard asked if he carries the money in bags. Floyd said that he only carries about 10 grand. He said it's not in duffel bags.
Howard asked if Floyd owns a lot of homes. He said he has invested in a lot of real estate. He said he has a heavy staff to take care of all of that stuff. He said he doesn't pay rent on any property. He said he owns everything that he has.
Howard asked if he broke up with his girl. Floyd said that he's still engaged. He said that she's his better half. Howard asked if he's going to sign a pre-nup. Floyd said they're not worried about marriage right now. He said they're worried about other things right now. He said that they're just taking their time.
Howard asked if he can go to the strip club without her. Floyd said that she goes with him actually. Howard asked if he has other girls in the bed. Floyd laughed. Howard said ''Nice.'' He asked Floyd if he can go out and get all the pussy he wants. Floyd said he had all he needed before he found her.
Howard asked if he ever tried drugs himself. Floyd said he didn't. Howard said that they destroyed his mother. Floyd said that she's doing okay now. He said he has her set up now. Howard asked if he thinks his father is jealous of him. Floyd said maybe at one time he was. He said that he came to him once and said he couldn't believe that he was one of the biggest athletes in the world. Howard said he should have hit him with an electrical cord. Floyd said he doesn't do that. He said he doesn't put his hands on his own children. He said he never even punched his father. Howard said that's a fight he'd pay to see.
Howard asked when he last had a street fight. Floyd said that's been a long time. Gary said he had one with 50 Cent. Floyd said that's not true. He said that was all just for entertainment. Howard said that's a disappointment. He said they know 50 Cent. Floyd said they haven't spoken in a while. Howard asked if he has any enemies. Floyd said hopefully not.
Howard asked Floyd if he has fear when he walks into the ring. Floyd said he doesn't have any at all. Howard asked why he had Justin Bieber walk him out. Floyd said that it's about being diverse. He said that they're all big stars and he surrounds himself with the best. Howard said he heard he wants to bring out Miley Cyrus next time. Floyd said he thinks she's cool. Howard asked if he would have sex with her. Floyd said he would not.
Gary said that he heard he brought 6 girlfriends to his last fight. Howard saw the picture and Floyd explained who they all were. He said that they were his masseuse, manager, girlfriend and others. He said that his baby mama was there too. He said they were very young when she got pregnant. He said that he only has to pay a few hundred bucks a month to her for child support. He said he makes sure she's taken care of.
Floyd noticed a shot of Beetlejuice in the studio. He knew him from the show. Howard asked if he would have him walk him out at a fight. Floyd said it had to be after Miley Cyrus.
Howard asked about the ex-girlfriend who he has 3 kids with. Floyd said that one isn't going so well. Howard asked if he's big in the pants. Floyd said he's never measured. Howard said he has measured. He said he's 6 inches when he's fully erect. Floyd said that he's good with the women. He said he's a pussologist. He said that he can break down the pussy and tell Howard anything about it.
Howard said that Floyd used to do 1300 push-ups a day. Howard said he can do 10 and he's exhausted. Floyd said that he doesn't have any sponsorship. He said he's sponsored by himself. He said he has his own company called The Money Team.
Howard asked if he gives women oral sex. Floyd said you have to do that. He said Miss Jackson is the only one he's giving that to now. Howard asked if he gets blow jobs. Floyd said that when he does he gets it with a condom on.
Robin asked how long he's going to box. Floyd said he's 36 now and he's been in the game for 17 years. He said he's in for another 24 months and he's finished. He said he's going to go out a champion. Howard asked when a fighter knows when to quit. Floyd said he'd have to ask someone who got their ass kicked. Howard asked if he's going to just relax after that. Floyd said he will just enjoy life.
Howard asked Floyd about receiving a bronze medal in the Olympics. Floyd said he doesn't even have that. He said that he wants to be a winner. He said that the fight is on the internet and his hand was raised. He said that he should have won. He said that they had a computer system that they used and it was all about politics. Howard said that's what sucks about fighting. He said some guy can arbitrarily say that you didn't win. Floyd said that his last fight they had one judge saying that it was a draw.
Howard asked Floyd about the guy who was calling him a wife beater. Floyd said that he fought him and won and the guy shut up after that. He said that if he was a wife beater then you would have seen pictures of the woman beaten up. He said that never happened.
Howard asked how much he's bet on something at one time. Floyd said that he has bet like $1.1 million on a game. He said that they had to win the game by 7.5 and he won. He said he got it in cash too. Robin asked what his worst loss was. Floyd said that they can bet on Johnny Football this Saturday. He said that he's playing this weekend. He said that Texas A&M is going to win. He said that's going to happen. He said Johnny Football never has an off day. Howard asked what he's going to put on the game. Floyd said $300,000. Howard said he'll put 10 dollars on that. Howard asked if all of his bets have to be huge like that. Floyd said that sometimes he'll just bet 50 grand. That's a small bet for him. Floyd said that he is up and down but he's ahead by a few million. He said the worst loss was probably a million. He said that you win 6 or 7 bets and then lose one. He said he can do the bets in Vegas. He said that he can get paid by wire or cash or check. He gets his money in cash.
Howard asked if it's true he blew 50 grand at the strip club the other night. Floyd said he only spent a few grand and it was mostly just for the food. He said he doesn't get dances. He said he just talks shit with the girls.
Howard asked Floyd if he gets attracted to the ladies. Floyd said some are cute. He said that he's had the best though. He said he bets that Howard has too. Howard asked if he's had more than one woman blowing him at the same time. Floyd said he has. Robin asked how many women he's had at one time. Floyd said it's probably 4. Howard said he had a midget and a giraffe at the same time. Howard asked if having 4 women at the same time is overwhelming. Floyd said it is. He said he's happy with Miss Jackson.
Howard asked which one of the girls was Miss Jackson. Floyd told him she was in pink. Howard asked if those are real boobs. Floyd said they look good. Howard said she's super hot. Howard asked if she's one of the Jackson family. Floyd said she's not.
Howard said he heard that he met the President. Floyd said he has met him before. He said he met him at a private airport once. He said they talked about basketball and sports. Howard asked if he plays cards in Vegas. Floyd said he has done that. He said he likes sports book better. Howard said he has some life going on.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing Beetlejuice clips. Beet said that he's talking shit about him. Beet told him to take it like a man. He said he's talking to him straight up, like a man. They had Beet going off on him. Howard said he's not sure Floyd would win if he went up against Beet.
Howard gave Floyd some plugs for his TheMoneyTeam.com web site and asked what that's all about. Floyd said he has t-shirts and stuff there. Howard said he has the web sites MayweatherPromotions.com and FloydMayweather.com. Floyd said that he hasn't seen that MayweatherPromotions.com web site. He said he's not the CEO of that site so he's never even seen it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he has ever used a web site for betting. Floyd got sidetracked when the guy mentioned some guy he knew. Howard said he had no idea what he was talking about.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked how Floyd avoided Don King. Floyd said he has good people. He said it was all luck.
Howard took a call from Leon Spinks (The guys in the back again) who was mumbling and not saying much of anything. Floyd was laughing. Howard said Floyd won't get brain damage because he never gets hit. Howard gave him some more plugs and said that he's the best ever. Howard said he was talking to Tyson about him and even he thinks he's the best.
Floyd told Howard that he likes his name. He told him it's not his birth name though. It was Floyd Sinclair. He said that he took his dad's name later on. He said he had it changed legally. Howard gave Floyd some more plugs and then went to break.
Howard came back and said that Michael J. Fox is there. Howard said he's back on TV starting tomorrow night. Howard said on his show he plays a guy with Parkinson's. Howard said that there are times on the show when he has to portray Parkinson's he must have to act it. Michael said that there are times that he has to fake it. He said it's strange and confusing. Howard said that he's playing himself basically. Howard said he would imagine that most people don't know how to react when he's in the room. Michael said that people who don't know him do. He said people who know him know that he's pathetic for a million other reasons.
Howard said Michael dropped out of school in the 11th grade. Michael said that his father was really cool guy. He said that he was a no BS guy. He said that he thought that acting was for weirdos and fairies. He said he told his dad he wanted to move to the states and be an actor. He said his dad actually drove him down.
Howard said he thought he was from a show biz family. Michael said he was actually 20 when he started Family Ties. Howard said when he got that job it was sort of a miracle. Howard said Brandon Tartikoff didn't want him. He said he didn't think he looked right with the cast. He said that they actually wanted Matthew Broderick but he wasn't available. Howard said that must hurt. He said you want to feel that you're wanted. Michael said as long as the paycheck cleared he was fine with it.
Michael said that Tartikoff didn't want him on the show and he said that he couldn't see him on a lunch box. He said when that did happen he sent Brandon one of the lunch boxes and told him this was for him to put his crow in.
Howard said Michael was a young, cute guy and Brandon was wrong about all of that. Michael said that he was a genius of TV but he thought he was no good. He said he eventually became a champion of his. Howard said of course he did. Howard said the show did well for NBC. He said that they were huge after they were on after The Cosby Show. Howard said Michael became the central focus of the show. Howard asked when Brandon walked in and said that he was wrong. Michael said that he was such a nice guy and he came in around 1984. He said that he was such a nice guy. He said that he was like a Carnival guy. He said he was a hustler.
Howard said that this guy Gary Goldberg said he wanted him off the show and then he came in and stuck by him. Michael said he just passed away this summer. He said he had brain cancer. He said it was quick. He felt ill last thanksgiving and then he was gone this summer. Michael said that he did a tribute to him on the Emmys. He said that it was a bummer. He said they'd get the show rolling and then one of them would come out to do a tribute and talk about their friend dying.
Howard asked if Michael is nervous about going back to TV and if he was really thrown off by the Parkinson's. Michael said he was 29 when he found out he had it. He said he was told he had about another 10 years of work left in him. He said that was 20-some years ago. Howard said you don't die, you just have to live with the symptoms of it. Michael said that the only opinion that mattered what his own. He said there were a lot of people who had things to say about it.
Howard said the one guy he got really pissed off at was Rush Limbaugh. Howard said that Michael was endorsing a candidate and Rush went off on him. Howard said that Michael was endorsing a guy who was for stem cell research. Howard said Rush went on the air and he blasted Michael. He said that he was putting on his Parkinson's. Howard said that Michael is a classy guy and he acted like it didn't bother him. Michael said he was just being a bully. He said that he wasn't smart about it. Michael said that sometimes there's some humor in it but he was just being a bully. Howard asked if he's ever run into him. Michael said he has not. He said they don't run in the same circles.
Robin asked if Howard has ever run into him. Howard said he hasn't. Howard said he ran into Michael on the street years ago. Michael said when his son was 10 they went to see Penn and Teller and they had some of his friends with him. He said that Howard was actually sitting behind them. He said after the show they were asking what he had to pay to get Howard Stern to come to the birthday for his son. He said it was a good show.
Howard said he has to ask Michael about his career. He said that when he was doing Family Ties he got the job to do Teen Wolf. Howard said he was doing that and he had auditioned for Back to the Future and he didn't get the part. Michael said that he didn't even audition for it. He said that they wanted him to do Back to the Future and they didn't want to let him get out of doing the TV show. He said he was shooting Teen Wolf and some of the Back to the Future people came to do some scouting. He said that he heard that Krispin Glover was in the Back to the Future movie. He said he was jealous of that because he was doing a movie where he was all hairy. Michael said they shot with Eric Stoltz for 5 weeks and they weren't getting what they wanted. Howard said that's so weird to him. He said they shot with him for 5 weeks. Howard asked what he thinks went on there. Michael said he may not have been goofy enough. Howard said he heard that Spielberg had him in mind for the movie. Michael said that they went back to the producer of the show and they asked him to let him shoot this movie. Howard said that was such a pivotal part of his career. Howard said that might be why he stayed friends with Gary. Howard said he can't imagine keeping him from doing the movie. Michael said that Gary had waited a long time to have a hit TV show. He didn't want to let him go. He said he wouldn't have even known that they wanted him if it wasn't for him. Michael said that he told Gary he was going to stick around after that even if the movie was a hit.
Howard said that movie was huge and most people would have split the TV show. Howard said he remembers wondering what he was still doing on that show. Michael said he had to delay running his film career into the ground. Howard asked if he really did. Michael said that he panicked when he got his diagnosis. He said he thought he had better do a bunch of movies and that wasn't the best strategy. He said that he was a schmuck and didn't think it through.
Howard said no one knows how much time they'll have with anything. He said that the Parkinson's made him decide quickly on what he had to do. Michael said he had a couple of good movies. Howard said that's such a terrible thing to go through. Michael said he felt like he was stuck in the middle of the street with cement shoes and a bus was coming but he had no idea when. Howard said that's a weird sentence to be given.
Howard asked if he went to therapy after that. Michael said he waited a couple of years. Michael said that his first reaction was to drink heavily. Howard asked how much that was. Michael said he was drinking every day. He said he eventually quit that and went to AA. He said that he didn't want to screw up his marriage and family. Michael said it got clear to him that it wasn't a death sentence. He said that he just took it one day at a time. Michael said that people don't know how to act and he figured out that it doesn't really matter. He said he is who he is.
Howard asked if it was torture to walk away from acting. Michael said it felt helpless. He said it felt unfair in a way. Howard said that we feel that we're not helpless and then it happens and you can't do anything about it. Michael said he has no control over it so he just said ''fuck it.'' He said things turned around and his marriage got great and his career turned around. Robin asked if he felt his wife was going to take off. Michael said he didn't know. He said that it occurred to him that she was in and she was sticking with him. He said she's just a cool chick who could have bolted but she didn't.
Howard said that's what people don't realize about a relationship. He said if you have a woman who really cares about you and sticks with you then you want to hold on to that.
Howard asked how the kids handled this. Michael said his son was really young when he was diagnosed. He said his daughters are now 18 and they were born when he was on his upswing. He said that he and Tracy decided to have more kids and they had twins. He said that they have grown up with it their whole lives. He said he's just ''shaky dad'' to them.
Howard asked if it's physically painful. Michael said it's not by itself. He said that he may contort some days and his muscles may complain. He said it can be exhausting at times too. He said that everyone has their own thing though.
Howard asked if he was worried about his health when he came back to TV. Howard said he has to work a lot. Michael said he has been doing The Good Wife and other shows. He said he did the Dennis Leary show (Rescue Me) too. Howard asked if he's friends with Dennis. Michael said he's known him for a long time. He said he's not even sure how he knows him. Howard asked if the wives get along. Michael said they do. He said they go on vacation together.
Howard said that Michael did a TV show called Leo and Me up in Canada and 5 people on the show have Parkinson's. Michael said that's really not that crazy when it comes to a scientific point of view. Howard asked if they're any closer to a cure for this Parkinson's thing. Michael said that there are over a million in the States who have it. He said they are closer to finding a cure. He said that the whole system is screwed up so they had to reinvent the way things are done. He said that things just go up and not forward. He said they had to figure out how to tip the silo over and make it a pipeline. Howard said he doesn't know much about it but if they all talk about it then maybe they'll figure something out. Michael said that they're gathering information that they weren't gathering before. Michael said that if they can figure out who is going to have it before they have symptoms then maybe they can treat it. Howard said that would be cool. Howard said he'd love to find a cure so he could go down in history.
Howard said that the Michael J. Fox show premiers tomorrow night. Howard asked if that's what he wanted to call the show. Michael said everyone was calling it that anyway. He said that the show is on NBC tomorrow night. Howard said it's about time for Two and a Half Men to go so maybe his show can knock it off. Howard asked if he'll check the ratings the next day. Michael said he'll be traveling and he's sure they'll call him and let him know that he's out of show business again.
Howard asked if the Parkinson's makes reading his script hard. Michael said that it's hard to read the paper in the morning. Howard asked if the sex is good. Michael said it's still good. He said it's tough to figure out who the agent in motion will be. He said that she'll ask him to ''do that again'' but he'll tell her that he can't do that again because he has no control over it.
Howard asked Michael if his kids are worried about getting Parkinson's. Michael said that they don't have the same markers in their DNA that cause it. He said that they should be okay.
Howard asked Michael about the TV show and if it's about him. Michael said that he plays a news guy who got Parkinson's so it's kind of like his life but he's playing someone else.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was diagnosed with Parkinson's and he was wondering if he has done any research on how people get it. Howard asked if he wonders how he got it. Howard said that you may never know. Michael said that he's no expert but he doesn't think that pesticides have anything to do with it. That's the industry that the caller worked in.
Howard asked how masturbation is with the Parkinson's. Michael said that it's like getting a bad hand job. He said it's like brushing your teeth. Howard said he heard that Mohammed Ali called him years ago and told him that they'd get through this together. Michael said that was an amazing moment. He said that he's met him and been with him many times. He said he's in really rough shape. Howard said he thinks he got that from boxing. Michael said that getting punched in the head by Frazier can't be good for you. Michael said he doesn't wonder what caused it for him. He said that doesn't serve him. Howard said he gets into the blame game with everything that doesn't go right.
Howard took a call from Eric the Actor and asked him not to go on and on. Eric said he was just wondering if Michael thinks that there will be more characters in movies and TV with disabilities Howard said that they've gotten him a few parts and he's in a wheelchair. Howard asked if he wants a part in his TV show. Michael said that he hopes that there will be. He said he thinks that they could have them playing asshole on the shows too. Howard said that's why he treats Eric like an asshole.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that it's an honor to speak to Michael. He asked if he has ever looked into deep brain stimulation. Michael said that he knows about it. He said that he hasn't done it because on his best day he's better than what that would do when he's on medication. He said that he won't rule it out though. He said that he did a brain surgery thing when he was younger. He said that kind of worked but it progressed on the other side of his brain. Robin said they know someone who did that. Robin said that Paula Schneider did it. Howard said he didn't know that. The caller said that Michael is an inspiration to people all over. Howard said he thought he was talking to him. He said he doesn't like it when people don't compliment him.
Howard said that you must tune in to see this new TV show. Michael said that his wife is in the second episode. Howard said she could have played his wife in the show. Michael said they could have done that but then they'd be doing it at home and at work. He said he did ask her if she wanted to do the show. He said that they wrote her in with a cameo instead. He said she was great in it.
Howard said that the woman in his new show is Hank's wife in Breaking Bad. Howard asked if she's told him the ending. Michael said she hasn't. Michael said that he hasn't seen all of the show yet. He said he did see some of her parts but now he has to binge watch the show.
Howard asked Michael if he's still in AA. Michael said that he goes to meetings now an then. Howard asked if there are more famous people in the meetings than him. Michael said he can't say. Howard said that when Sam Kinison was in AA he would tell them who was in it. Howard said that he told him not to tell them that. Sam didn't think they cared. Howard said he told him that they did. Howard gave Michael some more plugs and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that he has come to appreciate these guys. Robin said she's always loved them. Howard said he's been downloading them on his iTunes. Howard said as long as he's talking about that he'll go through the top 5 songs. Robin said that's what he has on his iPod. Howard said he downloaded some hit songs but he has great classic music on his iPod.
Howard said number 5 is Avicii and number 4 is Robin Thicke. Lorde is at number 3. Howard said she's like 16 years old. Howard said that number 2 is Katy Perry with Roar. Howard said number 1 is Miley Cyrus.
Howard said Dr. Drew revealed that he had prostate cancer. Howard said that he was trying to steal Robin's thunder. Robin said that she owes him a letter. She said she's really not upset with him but he thinks that she hates him.
Howard said that Mariano Rivera was retiring so they gave out bobble heads at Yankee Stadium. Howard said people get their bobble head. Howard said traffic was so bad that people weren't able to get over there to bring them to the stadium. Howard said he's not sure why they waited until the last minute to give those things away. Howard said that they could have done it earlier. Gary said this day was picked before the season even started. Gary said everyone was waiting for the bobble heads. He said that they weren't even in the stands. Gary said that the people in the expensive seats were hand delivered their bobble heads though.
Howard took a call from a woman who said they're on fire this week. She said the show has been incredible this week. She said that Howard has to do America's Got Talent again. She said she misses seeing Howard every week. Howard said it was a good year. He said he felt he hit his groove. The caller said Howard really did. She said there is no one that comes close to being as good a judge as Howard. Howard said he watches other shows to see how the judges are and he wins every time. Robin said she can't watch the X-Factor. She said that they're awful. Howard said that Christina Aguilera is looking hot. Howard said she inspired him. He said she's looking really hot. Howard said he was walking around his apartment singing Genie in a Bottle, naked.
The caller said that she didn't know that Robin wasn't back in the studio and she did such a good job at being a part of the show. Howard said that's true. Howard said all along he told her not to feel the need to come in. He said he was happy to just have her on the air. The caller said Robin is a huge professional and that proved it.
Howard asked if the caller wanted to play a game to win some money. She was up for it so Howard said she has to earn it. Howard said this is courtesy of the Michael J. Fox show. Howard said that it premieres this Thursday on NBC.
Howard asked Gary what game he had. Gary said they have the Gary the Retard game. The caller said she loves that. Gary said it's called the Gary the Retard Alphabet Game.
Howard said that Sal and Richard called Gary the Retard and acted like fans that are wondering when he's going back on the Stern Show. Gary had called in recently saying that he had a lot of fans asking him about that. Sal and Richard called Gary a bunch of times and Gary would yell at them about calling.
Howard said the game is very simple. He said that they ask Gary to give them a word when they give him a letter. The caller, Sharon, has to guess if Gary will be able to do that. The first letter was O. Sharon said no way to that. Gary the Retard said ''Zero'' so he got it wrong. Howard said that there is an O in there but it has to start with the letter. That was just a test question.
Howard said the next letter was W. Sharon said that Gary would not be able to do that one. Gary's answer was ''I don't know what it means.''
Howard said the next letter was R. Sharon said Gary will not get that one either. Howard said he thinks she's going to say no on every one. Howard said that he may know Retard. Sharon said that she didn't think about that but she's sticking with no. Gary's answer was ''Regular.''
Next up was the letter S. Sharon said that Gary will get this one. Gary's answer was ''Poop.'' Sharon got that one wrong.
The next letter was T. Sharon said that Gary will not get this one. Gary's answer was ''Mouth.'' Sharon got that one correct.
The next letter for Gary the Retard was Z. Sharon said that there's no way he'll get that one. Gary's answer was ''Cap.'' Sharon got that one right so she won the $500. They went to break after that.
Howard asked where Sal is because he said something about how black people need more radiation when they get X-rays or something. Howard said that he told Gary that. Gary said they were at the writer's meeting and talking about conspiracy theories. Sal was saying that they have to do that because they have denser bones. Howard said that's not a conspiracy theory. Howard asked Sal if he knows what a conspiracy is. Sal said he does.
Howard asked Sal how he heard about this. Sal said he was working in a clinic because he wanted to be an x-ray tech. He said that he was told that they had to turn up the power because black people have denser bones. Sal said he never bothered to look up if that was true or not. Sal said he just took his word for it. Howard asked if Robin thinks that's true at all. Robin said she has never heard that. Sal said that the guy was serious and he thinks it was the cranium that he was x-raying. Howard said he just wanted to hear what was going on. He dismissed Sal after that.
Howard told Robin about his Depends Underwear Liner. He said he feels so free. Howard said when he pees the pee keeps coming out for a little bit. Howard said he said that someone has to invent something for that and it turns out they have. Howard said he had to figure out how to put it in. He said he keeps the big Y part on top. He said the other part goes under his balls. Howard said he feels very free and liberated today. He said he could do the commercial for that thing. Howard said he's wearing Depends. Howard said Beth can't find out though. He said he loves the fans but he knows that they'll tell her.
Howard said that he could just buy sanitary napkins. Fred said there are larger ones for people who have larger surges. Howard said he could probably pee his pants with what he has on. Fred said that there are two types. He told Howard what they were and Howard still didn't know exactly which one he was using. Fred said Howard is wearing them correctly. He said that's why he went to the web site to look it up. Howard said he feels like he's wearing a diaper. He said he may drop it just because of his pride. He said he doesn't want to be wearing Depends.
Robin said that it looks like a mini pad. She said she sees that on the web site. Howard said that he and football players wear them. Howard said he feels better that there's a football player on the package. Howard said he imagines that's the guy beating him up for wearing Depends.
Howard asked Fred if he has ever had that problem. Fred said he used to with his foreskin but not like what Howard has. He said he just had to dab it when he was done peeing. Howard said it was Tony Siragusa who sent them to him. Robin said he's the one who is their spokesman. Howard asked if he uses them. Gary said he's their spokesperson. Fred said he thinks that Tony doesn't use them. Howard thanked Tony for sending them to him. He said he doesn't want urine stains on his pants. He said he's seen old guys with stains on their pants and he doesn't want that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that what Sal was saying is true. He said he was an X-ray tech in the 60s and 70s and they did have to do that for skull x-rays. He said that their skulls are thicker than Caucasians. Howard said he didn't know that. Robin said that must be why her father asked if she was thick headed at times.
Gary said that now they believe this just because the caller says it. The caller said he was an X-ray tech for 18 years. Gary said he's just saying that though. They don't know if that's true or not. The caller said that they had to increase the beam and that's not a big deal. He said it's not racist at all. Howard said he'd think that having a thicker skull would be a good thing. He said it protects the brain.
Fred said that he was looking online and they say that women have thicker skulls than men do. Howard said Robin must have a really thick skull.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he thinks about the Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora thing. Howard said he doesn't think much about it. He said he saw Jon a few weeks ago and he didn't bring it up. Howard said he did hear that Richie was fired from the band but he doesn't know the details. He said that's such a great thing they had. The caller said that the show is different without Richie in the band. Howard said they should work that out. Howard said he really doesn't know anything about it.
Howard said that Robin has been keeping secrets from them. He said no one knew about her kissing David Arquette. Robin said she had to get going that night and he came out and kissed her. She said that she let him kiss her. Howard asked how she let him get his tongue in her mouth. Robin said she guesses she let him do that. Howard said that's kind of romantic. Howard asked if he asked to go somewhere with her. Robin said he didn't. Robin said that he called her at the hotel and asked to come over. Robin said she had to get up early in the morning. Robin said that he kept calling her. He would giggle and hang up. Howard asked if she wasn't interested. Robin said it was a surprise and she had things to do so she couldn't stay up. Robin said she had to turn him down. Robin said they did text back and forth for a few weeks. Robin said they were never going to see each other again. Howard asked if he bought her the tattoo. Robin said he did. Robin said David was getting his grandfather, Charlie Weaver, tattooed on him.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she has been remodeling her house. Howard said that he commented on her house and now she's fixing it up. Howard said he didn't mean anything by it. Mariann said that she's getting organized. She started to mention that she got her Shittens but Howard hung up on her in the middle of that thought.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's an x-ray tech. He said that the skull thing is not true. He said everyone has different size bones and it has nothing to do with being black or white. Howard said he knew Sal had no clue. He said that things just get stored in that brain of his. He said he only remembers the stupid stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who congratulated him on his diaper. Howard said it's not a diaper, it's just a pad. He said it's to keep him extra fresh. Howard said he's not a diaper wearer. The caller asked if he did something to Gary to threaten his job because the guests have been great lately. Howard said the whole team there kicks butt with that stuff. Howard said Gary is a very good executive producer. Howard said he gave him that title instead of giving him more money. He said Gary is the best in the business.
Another caller said this week has been the best for guests. Howard said he's going to give Gary a new title. He said he's going to make him Super Executive Producer. Robin said he's the Supreme Executive Producer. Howard said he likes that even better.
The caller asked Benjy how many of those friggin songs he could have sold on iTunes with all of the plugs he's gotten. Howard said it's probably 3. Howard asked if Benjy can answer that. Benjy said that it's several thousand. Howard asked if that's true. Benjy said that it's good to get the plugs out there to get the word out about Elisa Jordana.
Howard said he tried to talk to Benjy about Marianne Garvey this morning but he just got noises from him. Benjy said he didn't want to talk about it on the air. He said she treated his girlfriend poorly and that's what it was about. Howard said he saw that show and she wasn't mean on the show. Benjy said he didn't want to get into it but things happened. Benjy asked if Howard gives people a couple of chances before cutting them out of his life. Howard said he does. Howard said he's so fucking defensive. Howard said that he was wrong so he's sorry he brought this up. Howard said Benjy sucks him in every time.
Howard asked Robin what's in the news. Robin said that they had a story on Access Hollywood about Leah Remini and how she's making the Dancing with the Stars all about Scientology. She's worrying that if she fails at her job that the Scientologisits will tell people that's what will happen to you if you leave the church.
Robin said that Pam Anderson is going to run a marathon. Howard said that should be fun. Robin wondered if she can run in high heels. Robin said that she has vowed to finish the race. Howard said she's not one that you'd take seriously about that. Robin said that she hasn't been there in a while. Robin said Carmen Electra hasn't been there lately either. Howard said he saw Carmen Electra was on Ellen as a guest DJ and she looked good. Howard said that chick held up. Robin said they should have a guest DJ there on the show. Howard said that's a thought. Howard told Gary to book her. He said maybe they should do that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Dina Lohan having a court date on Long Island and showed up in a Rolls Royce. Robin said she was there for a DUI charge. Howard said there's a lot of wacky stuff with that family. He said he heard that she was losing her house but now she shows up to court in a Rolls Royce.
Robin said that Richard Branson is getting ready to make his first flight into space. Howard said it doesn't sound safe to him. Howard said the guy is super rich so he's not sure why he'd do that.
Howard took a call from Marianne Garvey who just heard what Howard was saying about Benjy. Howard asked if Benjy wanted to talk to her. Benjy said she can call him off the air if she wants. Benjy said that it's been two years and she doesn't try to make it better. Marianne said that he won't talk to her normally so that's why they don't talk. Howard said Benjy lays it on thick. Marianne said that she was just calling to whatever. Benjy said she called to get on the air. Howard said he put her on the air. Marianne asked why it matters to him if she calls to talk to Howard. Benjy said that they could fix it off the air. Howard said that he knows Marianne too though.
Gary said he felt really bad for Marianne after what went on with them. Howard wondered what the hell the problem was. Gary said he thinks that Benjy thinks she was mean to his girlfriend and he's upset about that. Marianne said that they were bitchy to each other. Howard said he can't figure this out. Gary said he's not sure either but he saw Elisa telling Benjy to hang up on that bitch when she called one time on the TV show that Marianne was doing.
Benjy said that he gave her the opportunity to talk to him off the air and she ends up calling on the air. Howard said he talked about his problem on that TV show. Benjy said he did that as a favor to her to help get her on that show. Benjy asked Howard what he would do if he gave someone the chance off the air and they didn't call. Howard said it's an opening to deal with it. Howard said he has discussed personal problems on the air. He said he doesn't actually care. Howard said he's done with Benjy now.
Robin read a story about a gorilla that they're trying to work with that doesn't get along with female gorillas. Robin said he bites and fights with female gorillas so he's being sent off to another zoo.
Robin read about a law that was signed in 2008 by President Bush that says that all vehicles should have back up cameras. Robin said that back up accidents cause an average of 292 deaths and 18,000 injuries every year.
Robin read about how the government is looking into possibly letting consumers use their electronic devices during take off and landings for flights. Howard said he's confused by that. Howard said he isn't sure if it's safe or not to leave that stuff on. Robin said she's left stuff on by accident.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he would have done a solo show if Robin had died. Howard said he has said it a million times... no. The guy also called Benjy a cunt for acting the way he did earlier. Howard did a live commercial read after that. Howard said he could never do a show without Robin. He said she'd look down from Heaven and get upset.
Howard said that he was thinking about JD going out on his date with Beth next week. He said he's worried that something would happen and then he'd knock her up. Howard said they wouldn't know it was JD's baby for about 12 years when the kid starts mumbling like JD. Howard said that Beth has to get lessons in mumbling so she knows what he's saying that night. Howard and Fred were doing their JD impressions making up what that night with Beth could be like for JD.
Howard said that they have been handed a clip of Baby JD Jr. Howard played a clip that Sal and Richard made using clips of JD that they turned into a baby voice. Howard said that's when they'll know it's JD's baby.
Howard said he's proud of Robin. Howard said that David Arquette is a wealthy and good looking guy but she had to think about dating him. Howard said she doesn't just jump for any guy. Robin said every day that he was there he was whining about Courteney.
Howard said he was so glad he was home and there was no America's Got Talent last night. He said he told Beth that he had to do a Wrap Up Show and had her fooled for a minute. Howard joked that he went over there last night and it was great because he was able to judge all alone. He said he was judging some random bugs on the floor.
Robin said she has to do a photo shoot for Rolling Stone and she was thinking of mimicking the Miley Cyrus photo.
Robin said that they're thinking of banning the sale of E-cigarettes. Robin said that they say that the FDA regulates regular cigarettes but not the E-cigarettes. Robin said they're becoming popular with young people and it might be breeding a new breed of smokers.
Robin read about an openly gay judge that has come out. Robin asked what it matters if the judge is gay or not. Robin said that it seems like it's not important. Howard said he was reading a story about a judge who had to give up doing stand-up comedy because it's not befitting a judge. Howard said he thought that was bizarre. Howard said it's a free country. Howard said they must have thought he'd lose credibility. Howard asked if a judge has to keep everything a secret or what. Howard said he doesn't understand.
Robin read about the deadly mall attack in Kenya. Robin said it's finally over. She had some audio of an official talking about that. Robin said that 3 floors collapsed in the mall during the military attack on the mall. Fred was playing a bunch of clips of Robin saying Kenya in one way and a bunch of George Takei clips where he was pronouncing Guatemala, Guacamole, Aqua and other things.
Robin had some audio of the Iranian President talking about something. Robin said that Bill Clinton and President Obama were speaking about universal health care so Robin had Howard play those clips.
Howard said some guy wrote a poem about Robin. Howard had him on the phone so he asked when he wrote this. The caller said he wrote it on 9/11. He told Howard it's very short and it's called Courageous Courage. He read the poem and it sounded like he was flipping pages. The guy said he just flipped one page over. Howard had to cut the guy off. He thanked him for writing it but the guy kept reading. Howard said that was a waste of time.
Robin read a story about Michael Jackson's wrongful death trial. Robin said they were playing his videos in court yesterday. Robin had some clips of some of the closing arguments that were given.
Robin read about Shaquille O'Neal becoming a co-owner of the Sacramento Kings. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Howard did his impression of Shaq as that was playing. Fred played a buzzing sound that they have used in the past for his voice.
Robin read about Justin Timberlake being on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. Robin had some audio of him talking to Jimmy. Howard said he was sick the night before on Leno. JD said he was on Leno but he didn't perform. He just did the interview. Howard said Jimmy got the performance so he did a solid for Jimmy.
Robin read a story where they talk about the highest rate of cocaine use. Howard said it must be where Benjy lives. Howard said it has to be a state where there's nothing to do. Howard said it has to be like Iowa. Robin said no. Howard said it has to be something like Iowa. Robin said it's actually Colorado. Howard said that's a pretty boring state. Robin said that Arizona has the highest rate of Alcoholism. California has the most air pollution. Howard said he heard that people from Colorado have thicker skulls so they need more radiation. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:10am.
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Gary said he had asked Benjy about something off the air about something different. He said that he asked him if the TV show was scripted or not. Benjy kept interrupting him. Gary asked if he could talk without being interrupted. Benjy kept interrupting him. Gary said he's annoyed by Benjy and he doesn't want to talk about this anymore. He said he can't have a conversation with him.
Gary asked Benjy if he can understand why he gets so upset with him. Benjy said that they get along pretty well over all. Shuli was in and said that he thinks that he has trouble coming up with a yes or no answer on air but off the air it's different.
Jon and Gary spent a few minutes going back and forth with Benjy about the way he makes them crazy there. Jon took a call from a guy who said that it seems like Gary hates Benjy. Gary said he doesn't hate him. He said that he just drives them crazy sometimes.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's sick of Benjy's shtick. He told him to take his sideshow girlfriend somewhere else. He said Gary is his boss and he should show him some respect. Benjy said that he does do that but maybe more off the air than on the air. They spent a few more minutes on that and then went to break.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said it seems like AGT has made it easier for celebrities to see that it's safe to go on the Stern show. He said he thinks tit's working. Gary said that is one element. He said that Howard talks to kids and gives them advice and he's showing that he's a good person. The caller said that he wants to say one thing to Benjy too. He said that future employers are listening and he has to reinvent himself. He said that this isn't working anymore and it's getting tired. Benjy said he gets a lot of good reviews from his bosses. He was referring to Howard Stern.
Jon said that Michael J. Fox came in today. He asked Gary if he has been on the show before. Gary said he was on the phone in 2002. He said he may have stopped by the show one other time. He said that he was psyched to have him on the show today. He said that he was one of the guys like John Cusack that he grew up with.
Jon said that he seems like a great guy. He said he's heard him talk about Parkinson's before but not in such detail about how he's dealt with it. Gary said that he found out early on about the Parkinson's and he thought that he had 10 good years left. Gary said he now looks at it like he has it under control and he's dealing with it. Gary said that it's hard not to feel bad for him.
Shuli said that he was able to turn things around and come out of it. Benjy asked if they talked about how long he kept it quiet. Gary said he didn't announce it until he left Spin City. He said that he kept it quiet for about 10 years.
Jon said he didn't know that Gary Goldberg had such a big role in his life. He was the one who let him do Back to the Future. He also did Teen Wolf that a lot of people enjoyed. Benjy said he thought it was fun. Gary said it was kind of cheesy too. Steve said that they were out at the same time and they were number 1 and 2 at the box office.
The guys talked about how great Back to the Future was. They were talking about how the second film was great too but JD thought the third one was the worst of the three.
Jon said that they were talking about how the people on Leo and Me had Parkinson's. Michael did that show and a total of 5 people on the show have it. They spent a minute talking about that and then went to break.
Sal said that the theory is very popular because it's all over the web. He said that some say it's true and some say it's not. He said he's going to get in contact with some x-ray techs and find out what the consensus is. He said the theory is out there. Benjy said that's kind of scary if x-ray techs are turning it up. Sal said that it could be something that has a basis of truth. He said black people have thicker hair than white people do so maybe their bones could be thicker too. He said it could be a fact.
Sal said that Asians have slanty eyes and Americans have round eyes. Sal said it's a fact and not a racist thing. He said the x-ray tech could have been joking about it but maybe he wasn't.
Benjy said he was trying to Google about the x-ray thing and he got the result ''Do black people have x-ray vision?'' Sal said that he never checked the books so maybe it's not true. He said if it's in the books then it must be true.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal is right. He said that he's African American. He said that x-rays don't go through him. He stated to say some racist stuff so they cut him off.
Another caller said that the skull is noticeably thicker in some races than they are in others. He said that's not that crazy.
Gary said his favorite site to find this stuff out is Snopes.com. He was going on the site to see if they had anything like that.
Another caller asked if Sal thinks that he's burying himself by saying this stuff. Sal said he's not buying himself. He said that he's stating a fact. He said he's just telling a story. Sal ended up calling the guy names and going off on him.
Gary said that Sal once said that white girls might sleep with black guys when they get drunk. Sal said he did but that was a learning experience. Sal said that they're trying to make him bury himself. He said that everyone has differences. He said there's nothing wrong with stating that. He said he's just stating the facts and that's not a bad thing.
Jason said he just came down to watch the Wrap Up Show. He said he likes to see Sal bury himself. Gary said there are certain words that you don't use. He said that using the word nappy isn't right. Sal said he didn't use that. He said that he said that it's not a bad word in that context. Sal said he learns something new every day.
Jason said that when you paint a whole race with a broad brush then you're being racist. Benjy said that he was saying that they tend to be that way. Sal said he was just saying that maybe a skull could be thicker than someone else.
Gary said he sees a call from someone who says that you have to turn up the power of the X-ray on a husky person. He said that he's not sure if he means that every black person is considered husky or not.
Jason said that he doesn't understand what the x-ray has to do with the bone density. Sal said all he did at the time was take the images out and give them to the doctor.
Jon asked JD how he's going to approach the date with Beth thing. JD said he's going to watch the movie and that's it. He said there's an after party but he's not sure if either of them will go. JD said he might go if Beth wanted him to go. JD said it depends on what time it is. He said he has to come back to work because they have work the next day. Benjy asked if he's planned anything just in case something happens with her. JD said he has not.
Jon asked JD why he was screaming at Sal in the hallway. JD said he wanted to bring his mother in law's spoon thing in and he doesn't want it in there. Sal said it would have to hang and he's already spoken to some of the guys about that. Gary asked if he has put his favorite spoons on his Amazon wish list. JD told him to keep it up.
Gary said that he wanted to answer a caller's question. He said no, they do not have to turn up the radiation when they x-ray his teeth. They ended the show a short time later. They were done at 11:10am.
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