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Howard started the show talking about not being in the mood this morning. He said he just wants to leave. He said he'll work his way into it eventually. He said he's not sure who is in his body this morning. Robin said that's not his usual work ethic.
Howard said they have an update on the ''I Want To Get My Grandpa Laid'' contest. They gave away a trip to a grandpa and his grandson to go to the Bunny Ranch. Howard said they sent the guy to the bunny reach and he picked out the two hookers he wanted to bang. They went out to dinner the night he was supposed to get banged and he choked on a piece of steak and died. Howard said the kicker is that the hookers were looking forward to seeing Johnny but he didn't make it there. Howard said they were distraught over the whole situation.
Howard said the kicker is that the grandson ended up banging the hookers. Howard said he said that's what his grandpa would have wanted. Howard said the grandpa was named Johnny and he has some audio from the contest when he won. Howard played a clip where Johnny was talking about his wife dying 11 years ago. He hadn't gotten laid since then. He said he was still able to get an erection and cum. He said he still looks at porn.
Howard said that was Johnny Orris. He played another clip of Johnny talking about why he should win. Howard wondered if it's easier to choke on food when you're older. Robin said choking is choking. She said that can happen to anyone. Howard said he was worrying about Ronnie when he heard that story. He told him to cut his steak into small pieces. Howard said he says that with peace and love.
Howard said he can't imagine. Robin said his grandson saw it happen. Howard said he did. His name is Ed. Howard said TMZ got to Ed before he could even get to him. He said he wanted the exclusive but they got him. Howard said Ed told them that he took advantage of the Bunny Ranch thing since that's what his grandpa would have wanted.
Howard said that he's sorry to hear about Johnny. He said he was real nice. Howard said he can't imagine a better way to go out banging. He said this is a real shame. He said that he should have gotten to get laid one last time at least.
Robin said that he thought he was going to have the time of his life. Howard said he wouldn't say this was their fault. He said this is their sadness. Howard said he loved the contest and he hopes the other grandpas get laid. Howard said you shouldn't talk and eat when you get old. Robin said it reminds her of those Final Destination movies.
Howard said that they're going to try to get in touch with Ed to talk to him about this. Robin wondered if this had anything to do with the restaurant. Howard said it didn't. Howard wondered if they were charged for the meal. Gary said according to Dennis Hof they were charged. Howard said that's shocking. He said a steak is a steak though. He said that's a high ticket item. Gary said Dennis picked up the check. Will said Dennis asked the people at the restaurant if they needed anything else and that's when they said they needed someone to pay the check.
Howard said TMZ is one of the few news departments left out there. He wished Johnny to rest in peace after that. Howard said he liked that guy too. Robin said he was an active 86 year old. Howard said he still had a hard on too. Howard said if there is a heaven he's there with his wife now. Robin said she must be pissed too.
Howard said he thinks he got his Christmas shopping done. Robin said she thinks she got the wrong thing for Howard. Howard said he has to get her a note. He said it's a whole problem getting it out. Robin said she'll be around. Robin said she'll be around in the city on Wednesday. Howard asked if she's saying Wednesday morning. Robin wasn't saying. Howard told Gary to find out for him so he can get her the gift. Howard said it's a good one. He said he's not sure what to do for everyone else.
Howard said it's just kind of crazy. He said he hates Christmas. He said that they're all worried about Christmas on FOX News. Howard said Megyn Kelly was going crazy over Santa being white. Howard said that she was insisting that he is white and can't be black. Howard said she's usually right on top of her game but this threw him off. Howard played a clip of Megyn talking about a story that was written about Santa and how he should be black. Howard said Megyn was saying that everyone knows he should be white. She also said that Jesus is white.
Howard said he hates to tell her but Jesus was a swarthy black man. Howard said that if you thinks he was real then you'd know that in the area he came from he wouldn't have been white. Howard played more of the audio of Kelly talking about changing Santa from white to black. Howard said it's pretty easy to do that. He said you just put a red suit on a black man.
Howard said FOX News plays the victim after all of this. Howard said people get upset and then Megyn becomes the victim. Howard played another clip where Megyn was talking about the knee jerk reaction from people about what she said. Howard said that she's the one claiming to be the victim now. Howard said she's saying that it was all brought up because of racism and she was the victim.
Howard said she was the one who said he was white. She wasn't debating it at all. Megyn was saying that the most common image of Santa shows him as white. She said it's become a fire storm and that shows that race is a big thing in this country. She said that they are big targets over there too. Robin told Howard to never say she's smart again. Howard said he thought she was smart. He said she had him fooled. Howard said it's too much.
Howard said the Easter Bunny is an Asian gay man and Megyn Kelly might be kind of freaked out by that. Robin said she thought he was white. Howard said it is.
Howard said he Googled Megyn and the first picture that comes up is a shot of her in a negligee. Howard said he went ''She's right! Santa's white!'' when he saw that.
Howard said there was no leg cam when she was talking about this stuff. He said that's what they needed. Howard said he thinks that Sal and Richard talked to Santa at some point. Howard had some clips of them asking people on the street to do their best Santa impressions. They had one guy who was playing along and talking about why they don't say ''Ho, ho, ho.'' Howard said that means a whole different thing for black people. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
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Howard said he has to talk about something. He said that he has some songs that Sal is writing and he has to have him come in to tell him he thinks they're great and he should put them out on an album. Howard said they have Sal in a room where he can't hear this.
Howard pretended to be talking about how great Sal is and how he has to tell him how great these songs are. Howard pretended to tell him that the songs were really good and he sounds fantastic on them.
Sal told Howard that instead of sending out Christmas cards he sent out these songs. Howard said he has to say that they're very good. Sal said he's going to be sending them out as his Christmas cards this year.
Howard played one of Sal's songs where he sang ''It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year'' and asked if he has vocal training. Sal said he doesn't. He said a lot of people were goofing on him about these songs. Howard said he thinks they sound great. Howard said they're better than Elvis singing them.
Howard played Sal singing ''Blue Christmas'' like Elvis. Howard said he sounds really good on this one too. Howard said Fred has to admit he's good. Fred said he's Salvis the Palvis. Howard asked if he uses Autotune. Sal said he doesn't. He said he used one filter in that Elvis song so he sounds more like someone in the 1960s. Howard played more of that song and Fred said he's blown away that he knew about a 1950s filter. Sal said he doesn't use any Autotune at all. Robin said she's enjoying this and she's shocked.
Howard said he'd love it if he sings at the Birthday show. Howard said he loves that he's sending this to his family. He said they'll love it. Howard said he bashes people around there too much so he's not joking about this.
Howard asked Sal if he put up the money to sing 20 songs in a show, if he'd do it. Howard said he bets he could sell 12,000 tickets to a show like that. Sal told Howard to keep the money. Howard said he's fucking good. He said he didn't know he could sing like that. Howard said he believes in Sal. He thinks they could fill Radio City Music Hall with something like this.
Howard was asking Sal why he was doing things in this Elvis song and Sal said he was just feeling it. He said he could feel Elvis in that song. Howard said he thinks he could sell out Radio City Music Hall. Howard said he's as good as Michael Buble. Sal said he sang My Way on a cruise ship and he won that contest. Howard said he's good. Sal sang a little bit of ''My Way'' and said he just loves singing.
Howard asked Sal how many songs he's sending out to his family. Sal said he only did two. He said that's all he had time for.
Sal said he loves singing. He said that he thinks he could do a show like Howard said. Robin asked if he'd do a live album. Howard said it's up to Sal. Howard said he should do a small gig at a pub or something. Sal said he could do that. He said he could do one at the Knitting Room or something. Howard said he wants to put these up on the web site. Sal said he has the YouTube links for him. He said he just put up a Christmas tree to go along with the song. It's not a big production or anything.
Howard played more of Sal's song and said he's taking him to the top. He said he should go on AGT because he could win. Howard said he thinks he did something to the voice though. Sal insisted he didn't do anything but the one filter. Howard said he can't believe how good it is.
Howard said Sal is so stupid he doesn't even know how good this is. Howard said what's great about him is that he makes people want to sing along. Robin said he's signing like a real pro.
Howard said he did a great job with these songs. Howard said he should do some other Christmas songs. Howard said they could have him sing with little kids on some songs. Sal said he would do that. He said he wants to focus on the songs that aren't really about Frosty and Rudolph. Howard said he could sell 6,000 seats if he's that good. He said they'll sell out in an hour.
Howard said they can do it in January if they can't do it this month. Howard played more of Sal singing and said he likes certain parts of the song. Howard said he just doubled part of that song. He said he loves that even better. Sal said his kids hate these songs. He said they hate when he sings around the house.
Howard said they're goofing on each other too much around there. He said when someone sings that good there then he has to say it. Sal said he enjoys doing it. Howard said it's very professional and he thinks he's as good as Michael Buble. Sal said his problem is that he's doing an impression of the singers. He said he's not trying to do that himself. Howard said he sounds like Sal and he sounds natural. Howard said he likes singers who don't put on the bullshit. Howard said he's singing live essentially.
Howard said he loves that he's not trying to hide his voice. He said especially when it comes to Christmas music. Howard said families could go to the concert. Sal said he plays other songs on his acoustic guitar at home. He said the kids last about 1 song and then leave. Howard said he could have had a huge music career. Sal said Richard tells him that all the time. Howard said this is fucking great and he's as good as Michael Buble and other people like him. He said he won't say he's as good as the Beatles though.
Howard asked Sal if he thinks this is big. Sal said he's worried about doing his work there though. Howard said he's going to go to the people at AGT and try to get them to set him up at Radio City. Howard said that he could make it happen. Sal said he can't believe this. Sal said he can rehearse at home in the evenings and he can work during the day there. Sal said he'll play the music in his car on his drive and learn the lyrics. Howard said he has to come up with 10-15 songs that are as good as this. Sal said he thinks he can do that. Howard said he needs 15 ready by the end of January. Sal said he could probably have 8-10 ready. Sal said he wasn't ready for this. He said coming from Howard it's pretty amazing.
Howard said King of All Blacks is on the phone and he's saying he doesn't think it's really Sal. Howard picked up and King played along saying that it wasn't really Sal. Sal said his ears are more fucked up than his phone. Howard said he swears that was Sal. King said he should sing a Happy New Year song or something for them right now. King kept it going and pretended that he was blown away by his singing.
Howard asked how high he can go. Sal said he can't go that high. He said he has to watch it with that. Sal did his Frank Sinatra voice and sang another song. Howard and Robin pretended to be blown away.
Howard said they've done this long enough. Sal said ''Lets put this thing together.'' Howard laughed. Howard said that he has tears in his eyes. He said he's in. Howard thanked Sal for coming in. Howard said he has this all covered and he'll make this thing happen. He said the concert will happen.
Howard said he was very moved by his music. Sal said they had High Pitch Eric call Santa. Howard said he's going to leave it at that. He said he was blown away by his music. Howard said he finally found something.
Howard said now they have to have the concert. Howard asked if he should tell Sal. Gary said he has to tell him. Howard said Gary has to do it. He said Sal is so fucking out of it. Howard said that's the worst shit he's ever heard.
Gary brought Sal back in and told him that they were goofing on him. Howard said this is the shittiest music he's ever heard. Howard said that it's the worst shit and he's off key. Howard said he told Gary to distract him and he'd tell the audience what he was going to do. Sal said ''Damn it!'' Gary said Sal was so empowered that he said that Michael Buble didn't have his own style. Sal said they're so cruel. Howard asked how he thinks those songs were good. He said they're awful. Howard said the people on Twitter can't believe how bad he is. Howard said it's amateurish. He said he's off key. Sal said he did listen to that part and wondered if it was off key or just different.
Howard asked if he really thought they were going to have him perform at Radio City. Sal said he didn't at first but it was the judge from AGT telling him. Howard said his whole family is going to goof on him about this whole thing. Howard said they're not going to put the songs on iTunes. Sal said he really thought he had a hit on his hands. Howard replayed one of the songs and said that Gary said that Sal really thought he had a great voice. He thought that this was going to get him somewhere.
Howard said Sal isn't even mediocre. Howard told Fred to tell him. Fred said he can't believe he thinks he's good. Sal said he did the songs because he was doing it for his friends. He did something nice for them. Howard said the songs were horrible. Howard said he should be doing them on his own time.
Howard said he's a horrible singer. Sal said that's fine. He said he just left on a high note and then they break this to him. Howard said his advice is to keep the CD to himself. Sal said he put it on his personal family Facebook page and he only got 4 likes. Howard said that's because people think he's a fucking nut.
Gary said he loved how Sal was saying that he thought Michael Buble wasn't original but then he was doing this Elvis impression in his song. Sal said he was doing an homage to Elvis in that one.
Howard asked Sal if he's going to go back and cry now. Sal said he's not but he is kind of bummed. He said that he had him convinced that he was into the songs. Sal said he was blown away when Howard said that he could do the Radio City thing. He said he figured he was going to have a career after this Sirius thing. Gary said he is Ralph Cramden.
Ronnie said Richard went to a beer tasting on Friday night. Sal said that Richard was probably shit faced on his flight. He said that he was in bed from 1:30 until 8pm that day. He said it was beautiful outside down in Miami. He said it was 80 degrees and sunny.
Sal said Richard found out they couldn't serve alcohol until 8 on Sunday and Richard looked like he was bummed. He said he had a bunch of alcohol bottles in his bag as a back up. He said he was making his own cocktails out of those and some juices he bought. Richard said he didn't want to look like a total lush so he had to do that in the bathroom. He said some guy was shitting in there while he did that.
Ronnie said Richard was drinking those drinks he had made himself. Then he got on the flight and he got champagne bottles to make Mimosas on the plane. Sal said he had huge bottles of champagne on the flight.
Richard said that's just something he enjoys doing. Howard said that's whacked out of control. He said he's drinking way too much. Richard said he just hates flying. Howard asked if he did that when he had to travel with the bands he was in. Richard said he did.
Ronnie said that Richard got off his flight and went right to a bar to watch a game and drink. Richard said he had to see the game.
Sal said that Richard loved Jet Blue so much for serving champagne that he wanted to write them a letter. He said that they gave him two more free bottles. He said he made dinner plans with the flight attendants. Richard said that he's not going out to diner. He said that he told them that they might meet up. He said they were every nice back there. He said he hung out for like 45 minutes talking to the guy. Howard asked if he's going to meet him there at the club. Richard said his wife wants to congratulate him. Howard asked if he wants to go to a club drinking with this guy. Howard said he's gay. Richard said it was a guy and two women. Richard said that the guy suggested having champagne on the flights and that's one of the reasons they have it. He said he admires him.
Howard asked Richard about the bottles of booze if he could still speak after drinking so much. Ronnie said Richard was having conversations with this old lady who looked like the Where's the Beef woman. Richard said she struck up the conversation.
Sal said that Richard asked him to order bottles of booze for him if they didn't give him enough. He asked Ronnie to do that for him too. Howard said he's really an addict. Howard said someone needs to do an intervention with him.
Ronnie said they have another story. Sal said they had the red carpet rolled out for them down there. He said they struck gold with their web site shit. Sal said they do marketing. Richard said they're all brilliant and they're in their 20s. Ronnie said one of the guys knocked up his girl and now he's having twins and getting married. Howard asked what the guys did at the party. Sal said they hung out and cracked jokes. Richard said they went to Tootsies down there and Ronnie got there and 5 different guys were like ''Holy shit it's Ronnie!'' He said Ronnie had a swagger that he's never seen. Sal said it was like Ronnie Sinatra.
Sal said they went to take a picture at one point and Richard asked if they had any beer. He said it was constant down there. Richard said that he wanted to drink in the limo. Ronnie said it's against the law to have open containers in the limo. He said that some do but they're not supposed to.
Howard said Richard has a real problem. He said this is not going to end well. He said he'll end up being an alcoholic on the street or something. Fred said it won't end well.
Ronnie and Sal told Howard about what Richard and his wife do and how much they drink together. Howard said that he's really got a problem. Richard said he loves New York because they have unlimited Mimosa breakfasts. Howard asked if he drinks alone. Richard said he does sometimes. Richard said he'll do that at home if his wife is out for a run.
Fred was doing his Richard impression saying that he drinks for just about anything. He was goofing on him about that and had him drinking just because the temperature was 40 degrees.
Richard said that he wanted to deflect to Ronnie. He said he was so goofy down there at Tootsies. Richard said he kept interrupting the DJ and he could tell he was getting annoyed. Ronnie told him to shut up. He said that they had a great time. Sal said they did have a great time. He said Ronnie becomes a different person down there. He said he becomes Tony Soprano there.
Howard said it's like it's finally happening for Ronnie. He said it's like Regis. Sal said Ronnie has a special power with his finger. He said he can point at a girl and call her over and she's right there. Howard asked what they got paid to do this. Ronnie said they could get more than 2 grand. He said it's more than the next number Howard mentions too. Ronnie said it was snowing and he was shitting that they weren't going to get back for today.
Howard said Richard probably doesn't remember any of this. Richard said he does. He said he didn't black out for any of this. Richard said he and Sal were fucking with Ronnie on the plane when he fell asleep. Richard said Sal was licking Ronnie's beard. Howard asked if they're going to put that up on HowardStern.com. Sal said he will if Ronnie gives his permission. Howard said you know they probably had his cock out of his pants. Ronnie said they didn't do that.
Sal said that Ronnie was goofing on the old people on the plane. He said that Ronnie wanted to get into the aisle right away when they landed and he was upset that the old people were up before him. Ronnie said he wanted to get out into the sun.
Richard said Ronnie almost got into a fight with a guy in line at the airport. Richard said the guy asked him to move up and Ronnie said ''Fuck that guy'' with him right there. Ronnie said they were on the same flight too. Sal said Ronnie said he wanted to beat the shit out of the guy. He said the guy had a hunch back and a cane and he wanted to beat the shit out of him.
Richard said he was embarrassed by Ronnie and he had to walk away from him. He said he was saying ''Fuck that guy'' right to his face.
Howard asked Richard how much he drank at the bar he went to after they got back. Richard said he had a few. He said he was watching a football game. Howard asked if he ever thinks he has to cut back. Richard said he does. He said he can go a couple of nights without drinking.
Robin asked if Richard has ever had any illnesses from drinking. Richard said he doesn't really. He said he's in good health. Sal said he figures out what he can drink after running so he's figuring out how much he can drink by running. Howard said he has a problem. Richard said he doesn't know what to say. He said he can't defend himself.
Richard said he has a great time there working. He said he doesn't have to drink during the day. He said he does think about drinking when he gets home. He said he doesn't drink that much during the week though. Howard said he doesn't know what to do here. Fred said he's going to have to crash and burn before he does listen to anyone.
Robin said an intervention would have to be done by people who have had big problems with him. Fred asked if it bothers him that he has to be wheeled around. Howard asked Fred if he cut back when he almost died at the strip club. Fred said he did taper off from most of that stuff. Howard said Fred fell face first off steps. He could have died. Howard said that was crazy. Fred said he doesn't drink like that anymore.
Fred said he thinks that Richard has affected people like he doesn't know. He thinks that he's just denying it. He said he'll still go out and drink even after people tell him he has a problem.
Sal said he thinks that he's a functioning alcoholic. Howard said he just got lectured by Fred and Sal just undid it all by saying that. Sal said that he thinks Richard enjoys it so he feels for him. Howard said Fred just got through to Richard and Sal just made it all go away. Sal said he didn't mean for that to happen. Howard said Fred had him for a second and Sal undid it all. Sal said he didn't undo it. Sal said he'll quit drinking if Richard wants to quit.
Ronnie asked how Sal fell for that whole thing earlier. He said he didn't even know the set up and he still knew it was all bullshit. Richard said Gary is really good at setting them up for stuff like that. He said he had to talk to them about the birthday show and he actually had stuff to talk about. Howard said they had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he has a few things to get to before he has Eli Braden and Psych in to talk about their song parodies.
Howard said they are giving away tickets to his Birthday show on HowardStern.com and on SiriusXM.com. Howard said they have a lot of big guest stars coming to the party. He said they're giving away tickets on the show and they're also giving away tickets on North Shore Animal League's web site. Howard said you can log on to AnimalLeague.org and win a date with Beth to the birthday show. Howard said you get to walk the red carpet and a champagne toast. Howard said you get to mingle with Beth at her VIP table and get a picture with Howard Stern and more. Howard said it's a very nice thing. He said that the bidding goes on for a couple of weeks.
Howard said that Beth will be dressed up and sexy for the date. Howard said if you get lucky then god bless you. Howard said that you should show respect for him though.
Eli said that Psych has accused him of stealing his songs. He said he doesn't steal them. Psych said that he'll do a song and then a week later Eli will send in one that's just like his.
Howard said he thinks it's ridiculous to fight over song parodies about titties. Eli said that Psych was constantly going off on him on Twitter calling him fat and things like that. Psych said that the timeline on Twitter won't lie. He said that he never did that. Howard said that Eli accuses Psych of not being blind and how would he know if he's fat if he's blind. Psych said that he displaces the air in the room when he comes in.
Eli said he's a comedy writer and he's an artist. He said Psych is just not an artist. Psych said that the songs he does are his first and Eli does them after hearing his.
Howard said he's going to play one where they did the same exact song and ask Robin which one is better. Howard played one which was a parody of a Bee Gees song. Howard asked Eli what he was doing. Eli said he was yawning at how boring it was. He said Psych is a good mimic but that's about it. Howard played Eli's song after that. Howard asked Robin who won that one. Robin said that Eli did but that doesn't mean that Psych hasn't done a bunch of good ones.
Howard played another song by Psych to the tune of a Maroon 5 song. Howard played Eli's version of the same song after that. Robin said that Psych won that one. Eli admitted that wasn't one of his best.
Howard said Eli is sick of Psych constantly calling him names. Eli said he kept going at him so he got his attention. He said he is calling himself the King of All Song Parodies. Psych said that he's filibustering. Howard asked Psych if he's upset that Eli was chosen to be the official song writer for the Ronnie's Block Party shows. Psych said that he suggested that to Shuli on the last comedy tour and he chose to give it to Eli.
Robin said that Little Mikey might have a problem with Eli calling himself the King of all Song Parodies. Eli said he and Mikey know each other and they're both big.
Psych said that this was Eli's feud when they came in there the first time. Eli said he raised the bar for the song parodies. He said he never had a pouring in of parodies like they got after he started sending songs in. Howard said Eli has written an anti-Psych song too. Eli said it's written to a Stevie Wonder song. He said Little Mikey sings with him on this song. They were singing about how Psych is pretending to be blind and things like that in the song. They were singing about what an asshole he is and how they know he can see.
Psych said he likes that one. He said he should play more songs about Psych on the show. Eli said he knows he might be legally blind but no one can do what he does on Twitter and in the recording studio if he can't see.
Howard had some more anti-Psych songs to play. He had more from Eli about what an asshole Psych is. He did them all to Stevie Wonder songs. Psych said he loves them all. Howard played a bunch of quick clips of each one.
Howard said Eli doesn't like Psych and they don't get along. Howard said Psych hates Eli because he's fat and he thinks he rips him off. Psych started to sing a song about Eli stealing songs every night. He did a couple of live songs about Eli being fat and stealing songs.
Howard said that he has a million of them. Psych said that Eli claims that he has a job but he doesn't. Eli said he admits he's out of work. He said he's a professional comedian too. Psych said Eli said something about Howard on Twitter too. Psych said he said that he used to like Howard until he played his songs. Eli said what he said was that Howard only has one flaw and that's playing Psych's songs.
Eli said that Psych is the one who starts every feud. Psych said he's the one who squashes them. Howard said this is the feud of the century.
Psych asked if he could play a song about Robin. Howard told him to go ahead. Psych broke into song and sang about Robin to the tune of Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines. Howard cut him off when he started a second song. Eli said that millions of people just tried to turn off their radios.
Eli and Psych went back and forth arguing for a minute. Eli told a joke about Psych reading Braille and how the only time he does that is when he's jerking off because his penis is like the size of Braille. That didn't go over so well.
Both Eli and Psyche were talking about how they'd fuck Robin. Howard asked Robin if she had to fuck one of them, which one would it be? Robin said she'd have to go with Eli.
Howard said he has to wrap this all up. He thanked Eli and Psych for all of the songs they've sent in. Howard asked how many Psych has sent in. Psych said it's 264 to this day. Eli started goofing on his voice and Psych said this is how he filibusters. Psych said he was the first person played as an opening song for the show.
Howard said he'll play one of Eli's songs to end this. He played his song parody about Robin's Boobs to the tune of Jimi Hendrix ''Foxy Lady.'' Howard played a Psych song called Tight Asshole to the tune of Queen's ''Bicycle Race.'' Howard played another one from Psych to the tune of a Rush song. He played another song from Eli and then another from Psych. He went back and forth like that a few times.
Howard asked the guys if they have any plugs. Eli said that he has some of his stuff up at GumRoad.com/EliBraden. Psych said his twitter account is @PsychSongs. He said Natalie Maines just started following him. Eli said that won't last. Psych played himself out with a song parody about anal pain. They went to break after that.
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Howard said the caller, Michelle, can win if she can guess within 10 pounds the weight of any of their staff. Howard said that he can put one person like Fred on the scale and Michelle will have to guess how much he weighs. Howard had Fred stand up so he could see him. Fred is 6'2'' tall and Howard guessed he's around 200 pounds. Robin said she would say 190. Howard said if Michelle was playing she'd have to be within 10 pounds of his actual weight. Howard had Fred get on the scale. Howard said he's very muscular. Gary said he's actually 217 pounds. Howard said that neither of them were right.
Howard said he wouldn't fuck with Fred. He said that Michelle can pick anyone on the staff and guess what their weight is. Howard said even he's eligible. Howard said they have Sal, Richard, JD, Jon Hein, Scott the Engineer... anyone.
Michelle said she's going to pick Robin. Howard said she can't pick a woman. Howard said women don't want to be weighed. Michelle said she'll go with Howard then. Howard asked what she thinks he weighs. She said 167 pounds. Howard said he's 6'5'' tall. She said she knows that. Howard asked if she's sure she wants to lock in at that. She said no. Michelle said she's going with 175. Howard said he's suddenly gained weight. Michelle said she knows he's obsessed with his weight. Howard said if he's between 165 and 185 then she's safe. Howard walked over to the podium to get weighed.
Howard weighed in at 191 pounds. Howard said he's going to take his boots off. He said he can't be 191 pounds. Gary asked if he weighs himself naked at home. Howard said he does. Howard said he's going to help Michelle out and take off some clothes. Howard took off his coat, boots, jewelry, headphones.
Gary said Howard is now 183 pounds. Howard said he knew there was something wrong. He said Michelle just won. Michelle said she loves them. She said that they've made the last 15 years of her life a scream. Howard said it's good she came up to 175 pounds.
Howard said he knew 190 was way heavy. Robin said she can't believe Howard is down to 180-something. Howard said he's right around 180. Gary said that's insanely skinny. Howard said he doesn't have a big gut anymore. Howard said he went from 205 to 180. Howard said 190 was too heavy. He said he still had a belly and cellulite. Howard said the cellulite is 50 percent gone. He said he has to tighten up a little bit. Howard said they have to take a break now. Howard said that Michelle is on her way to the birthday show.
Howard said that Benjy is all blotchy this morning. Benjy said he shaved this morning but he's not sure what's going on. He said it doesn't hurt. He said sometimes it does. Howard said he thinks he has ''Urasia'' or something. Howard said he heard he borrowed some lotion for his face from Richard. Benjy said sometimes it helps.
Howard said he almost has abs. He showed Benjy. Benjy said he's looking very thin. Howard said he's going for that look. Benjy said he looks like a good shape 20 year old. Howard said that's what he's going for. He said he likes his blotches. He said he looks like a 20 year old with blotches.
Howard said Richard wants to come in and see his abs. Howard told him to come in. Richard came in and asked if he can touch them. Howard told him to get out of there. Howard said he's working on it. Richard said he started running and showing abs. Howard said he figured he could run and eat whatever he wants. Howard said that's not true. He said he cut out the rice and things like that. Howard said Robin is very anti-rice. Robin said she is not.
Howard said he doesn't eat bread. Richard said he's cut that out too. Howard then realized he has half a bagel in the morning. He said he does eat bread. Robin asked why he's doing that. Howard said he has to eat something.
Richard said his abs look great. He said he should put a picture up on the web site. Howard told him to get out of there. Benjy said Howard looks like his book cover now. Howard said that's right. Robin said she thought that was doctored. Howard said he shot that picture and it was him. He said that was a long time ago though.
Howard said he likes Benjy now that he's complimenting him. Howard said he has a lot of stuff to get to in the next half hour. He had to take a break first though.
Howard came back and said he was listening to Type O Negative over the weekend. He said that they do some great songs on their album. He thought they were German. Gary said they're from Brooklyn. Howard said that's crazy. He said he thought they were foreign guys. Richard came in and told Howard said they have thick Brooklyn accents.
Howard said that album where they do Cinnamon Girl is great. Richard said the lead singer died like a year or so ago. He said he used to hang out at the heavy metal bar he hangs out at. Howard said he loves that Cinnamon Girl cover. He played the version the band did on the show. Howard asked if the guy could sing. Richard said he was a great singer. Howard said he likes the album version better than the live version. Howard said their studio version is awesome. Richard said goth people love them.
Howard asked what the rest of the guys in the band are doing. Richard said a lot of the guys are in other bands now. He said they're not in the same band anymore. Richard said in 1994 the lead singer posed for Playgirl and he has a big boner. Richard said he'll show it to Howard. Howard said he doesn't want to see that.
Fred found the album version of Cinnamon Girl so Howard shushed everyone. Richard said he wasn't even saying anything. Howard said he was working out to this song and he was running around like he was in the band.
Howard said Richard does that thing where he shakes his head at a concert. He said he has no hair though. Richard said he has a bald spot. He said it hurts his neck more because he has to work harder at it now.
Howard said Neil Young must have heard this version of the song. Richard said he must have. Howard said he gets the chills from this song.
Howard said he's not sure what they're singing about but he thinks about Beth when he hears it. He's not sure if there's a negative connotation to it or not.
Howard said this band is so heavy. He said he loves that. Howard said he'd like to sing backup or something in the band. Richard said he could play the keyboard.
Howard said he never would have guessed they were from Brooklyn. Howard said the guy sounds like he has a German accent. Howard said he must have listened to this song like 17 times over the weekend. Howard said he hits that iTunes and it's the greatest thing ever. Richard asked if he can life more weight than ever now. Howard said he can do a ton of pull-ups now. He said he can't do it if this song isn't on though.
Richard said they do a great cover of ''Summer Breeze'' that's great. Howard said he doesn't think he'll like that. Richard said he thinks it's great. Howard said he doesn't dig that song at all. Howard said it was bothering him as soon as Fred started playing it. Howard let it play for a little longer and said Richard got him. He must have liked it. Howard said he can't believe the singer is dead. Howard said he
Howard said he likes that song from Mystikal called ''Bouncin' Back.'' Howard had Fred play that song. Howard wondered what happened to that guy. Fred and Richard said he went to jail for something. Howard said he loves this song. He said he loves black people too.
Howard said this guy has to get back out and record. Howard said he got a note about him being out of jail. Fred said he went back in 2012 and got out again later that year. Fred said he went back to jail for domestic dispute with a partner. Howard said he would love to meet that woman.
Howard said he has been in fights with guys like this. He said you know you're going to die when you are. He said he has been in arguments with guys who talk like this and he has no idea what they're talking about. Howard said you try to reason with them and they just don't hear you. He said they just see weakness. Howard said you have to fight either way. Richard said he'd just play possum. Howard said maybe he can offer them oral. Richard said they'd warm right up to that.
Howard said that was a great song. Richard said it's a classic. Robin said he has to bounce back himself and get more music out there. Richard said he's going to go back and print the Peter Steele pictures out for Howard.
Howard said it's weird to want to do that at the age of 64. Howard said he doesn't get it. He said he wouldn't think about getting his fixed even if he complains about it. He said if you don't like it, who cares? Howard said it seems like a painful thing to go through.
Howard said some people in upstate New York were accused of making their toddler smoke pot. Howard said the mother and father were 17 and 19 years old. Howard said the grandfather was involved too. Howard said you'd think that they'd keep that quiet. Howard said that's one weird family if it's true.
Robin said she was going through some documentaries on Netflix and there was one about a kid who was filmed smoking pot in the 1960s. Robin said she never watched the movie but you apparently don't have a good end from what she read.
Howard said he got a lot of email about his comments about Jimi Hendrix and the song he thought was his best.
Howard said he got a note about the Peter Steele pictures. Howard said he doesn't want to see them. Gary said they are pretty disturbing. Howard said he wants to see them then. Howard had them bring them in. Howard said he has a pretty big one. Benjy said he's about as thick as he is in those. Howard said he's not that long though.
Howard said that Iran claims they shot a monkey into space. Howard said he doesn't believe it. Howard said they're bragging about something we did like 80 years ago. Howard said we're already up to the point of sending a man to the moon. Richard asked if the monkey gets to come back. Howard said probably not. Howard said they actually sent out a press release about something we did like 60 years ago.
Robin said they showed video of the monkey being strapped into its seat. Robin read more about the rocket shoot and how it lasted all of 15 minutes. Howard said he thinks that they just hired a Russian to do the rocket. Howard it's mean to scare the shit out of us. He said they're learning rocket science. Howard said that's nothing. They just got on AOL. Howard said they just invented the Squatty Potty.
Howard said he had something else to mention. He said that they're making an Anne Frank animated film. Howard said he hasn't been this excited since he and Robin did a movie about the Sandusky thing. Howard said years ago he had an idea to put Schindler's List on Broadway. Howard said he was just kidding but maybe he should have been for real.
Howard said back in May they did this Schindler's List on Broadway bit. Howard played some of that. Sal was singing in that bit. Howard cut it off pretty quick.
Mark asked if he has another set of tickets to give away. Howard said he thinks he does. Gary said they're not supposed to but they can do another set.
Howard asked him who he wants to play the weight game with. Mark picked JD. JD came in a short time later. Howard had him get ready while they played a song parody about his mumbling. Howard asked how tall JD is. JD said he's 5'8'' or 5'9'' tall. He said that he thought he was taller but it's around there. Howard asked how he can not know his own height. Howard asked how old he is. JD said he's 33. Howard said he doesn't get how you don't know that. Gary said he'll be 34 in the next couple of weeks.
Gary said he knows that he's 5'8 1/2'' tall. Fred said he knew. Benjy said he doesn't know his height. Howard said Benjy does but he's embarrassed to say.
Howard said Sal just came in to measure JD. He was 5'9'' tall. Howard said now he knows it for sure. Howard told him to remember. JD said okay. Sal measured his waist too. He was 45 1/2 inches. Howard said that's crazy. Ronnie said he was 44 when he got his suit. Gary said Jason just said that he's 48 so JD is only 4 away from him. Howard told Sal to measure his cock too. Sal said it's 2 1/2 inches. JD told Sal to go sing some more shitty Christmas songs.
Howard asked Mark what he thinks JD weighs. Mark said he's not sure how to figure that out. Howard said if he gets it right he wins tickets. Mark said he'll say 190. Howard said Fred can be his lifeline. Fred said he thinks anything under 200 is going to be light. Benjy said he thinks he's about 175. Fred said that Gary is 5'8'' tall and he was over 200 pounds. Mark went up to 210 pounds.
Howard had JD go over to get weighed. JD said he doesn't need the elephant sounds either. Howard said that Mark is locked in at 210 pounds. JD came in at 214.8 pounds.
Howard said Fred saved Mark's ass. He said he would have lost if he didn't listen to Fred. Howard said JD used to weigh like 160 or 170. JD said he knows.
Howard said they'll see Mark at the Birthday show. He told him to introduce himself to JD. Mark said he will.
Howard said this is their first live show in ages. He said it's going to be star studded too. Howard said that Mark just won a set of tickets. Howard asked JD what he's going to wear to the show. JD said he'll wear the suit he got. Howard told him to cut back on eating so he can fit into it. JD said he knows.
Howard said you can win a date with Beth. He explained how that works and how he'll even sign some shit if you win. Howard said that's an auction going on at AnimalLeague.org
Howard said there are other ways to win too. Howard said that JD is going to wear a suit that night. Howard told him to cut back on eating. He asked what he eats. JD said he eats things that he can microwave.
Howard played a clip of some Wack Packers saying what they want for Christmas. Wendy the Retard wanted $1,000. Riley Martin said he wants peace for all mankind.
Howard said he just got a note saying JD eats stuffing all year round. Howard asked who does that. Howard asked JD how he gets stuffing. JD said he has gotten it before but he doesn't know how to fix it. He said he would eat it year round but he doesn't. He said he's not sure what they're talking about. JD said he likes it. He said he'll have it with other things like chicken. He said he knows how to heat up chicken. Howard said he should admit he's a stuffing eater. JD said he never said he's not. He said he doesn't eat it every day. He said he doesn't eat it for months at a time. Howard played a Little Mikey song parody about JD getting so fat. Howard said he's like a little butterball.
Howard played a clip of Jeff the Drunk talking about what he wants for Christmas. He wants to go to the birthday show. High Pitch Eric wanted an iPad and $500 cash. Howard said he has neither. Howard said he has a clip of Eric calling Santa too. Howard played that clip of Eric talking to Santa about what he wants. He wanted a ton of food. Santa said he's going to have a belly ache after that. Eric kept asking for more and more food. Santa said he had to get going. Eric said he wants more. Santa hung up on him. Howard said he gets more and more saliva in his mouth when he talks about food.
Howard said he read Don Kaplan's column in the NY Daily News yesterday. Howard said he was saying he loves Howard TV and he wants a new home for it. Howard told him not to worry about it. Howard said they finish up on On Demand in January. Howard said he promises that there are a lot of people who want to put it on. He said it's more complicated than the health care situation. Howard said they're working on it though.
Howard said the guys from Admonish sent him a card holder money clip that they made for him. He said that WalletGear.com sent him a bunch of them too. He said that he is using the one from Admonish but he's confused because the others are so good too. He said the listeners are very generous.
Howard said he thinks that president Obama should reach out to Mayor Bloomberg and ask him what to do about the health care web site. Howard said he should appeal to his sense of service and reach out to him about fixing that. Howard said if Bloomberg was in charge of that he'd be able to fix the web site. Robin said they say that the web site is fixed now. Robin said that it might be too late. She said that he needed him when the whole thing was starting.
Robin said that Mike Bloomberg is starting a consulting firm and he will be offering his advice to the rest of the world.
Howard said he was looking at the two chicks Grandpa Johnny was going to bang. Howard said they're so hot. Howard said Grandpa Johnny is gone now. Howard said he's trying to get in touch with the grandson to talk to him about banging one of the hookers at the Bunny Ranch. Howard said they'll try to get in touch. Howard said Johnny was a good man.
Howard did the top 5 songs before Robin got to her news. Howard said coming in at number 5 was Miley Cyrus. Howard said number 4 was Lorde. Number 3 was One Republic, number 2 was Pitbull and number 1 was Eminem and Rihanna. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard came back and asked who did the song. Fred filled him in. Howard said he loves that song. Howard said the big thing in the news is Caressa Kisses from the Bunny Ranch. Howard had her on the phone. Howard asked why Johnny waited so long to go there. Caressa said that they had a tea party for him and they met one night and got to know Johnny. Howard asked how that works. Caressa said that they all get together once a week there and that's how people can pick out the woman they want. She said that Johnny was having a great time there that day and she had heard from him every day after they met. She said she was heart broken when she found out what happened. Howard asked why they didn't just bang that night. Caressa said she's not sure. She said that he had two bites of food and he started choking. She said they did the Heimlich on him and he got to the hospital and he was pronounced dead.
Howard asked if Johnny got to touch her boobs or anything. Caressa said he didn't. Howard said he heard that Johnny brought an extra 10 grand to spend on the girls. Caressa said that's what she heard. She said that everyone is shocked and hurt over his loss. She said he was so nice and it's so unbelievable. Howard asked if she was sort of relieved she didn't have to bang an old guy. Caressa said she was looking forward to it. She said he wanted to take a shower with her and cuddle with her all through the night. She said that's all he wanted.
Howard said he heard that the grandson came over and had sex himself. Caressa said he came back at 1 in the morning balling his eyes out. She said that Sophia consoled him and said that he wanted to use the comp there. Caressa said they thought he was kidding. She said that he didn't do anything either. She said he just cuddled and cried his eyes out over the whole thing. Howard said he probably didn't even want to have sex after that. Howard said that's really sad. Howard said he's sorry that happened.
Howard said he knows they had good intentions. Howard said that they have it in the rules that she may have to have sex with him even now. Caressa said that he's being cremated so that will be hard. Howard said it's really sad that he died like that. Howard hoped that this could be turned into a positive.
Robin said the Sound of Music special was so popular that they replayed it on NBC. Howard said it replayed on Saturday. Robin said she fast forwarded through it and Carrie Underwood didn't really embody the character. She said that she was just mouthing the words. Howard said he thinks Carrie looks cute. Robin said she looked better without the wig on. She said she had those awful clothes on.
Robin said that Donald Trump is talking about running for governor of New York. Howard said he'll never run. He announces stuff like that all the time but he never runs. Howard said it gets people talking though. Robin said he'll announce at the end of January if he'll run. Howard said he's not running.
Robin said there's going to be a tribute to Lou Reed today. Howard said he wasn't invited. He said he hasn't been invited to nay of them. Howard said he saw Lou and his wife while he was on vacation once. Howard said they were like a foot apart and they didn't acknowledge each other at all. Howard said their dog even came over to them and Lou and Laura didn't interact. Howard said that they pretended to not know each other.
Howard said Steve Carell is going to be in tomorrow. Howard said that Ben Stiller will be in on Wednesday. Howard said that should be a lot of fun.
Robin read a story about a woman who tried to find her son that she gave up for adoption. She found out that he had died in 1988 in the Lockerbie bombing. Howard said he read that story. He said she was 19 and she gave her kid up for adoption and later in life she did some searching and found out that he died in the bombing. Howard said that's a horror story. Howard said that she must be thinking that if she hadn't given him up for adoption he wouldn't have been on that plane. Howard said it must be really hard to give up a child for adoption. Howard said they go through a horrible feeling when they give up a kitten they foster. Howard said that they delivered 2 yesterday and Beth was worried that they'd leave the door open and things like that.
Robin read a story about the Heisman trophy and how they gave it to a player who was accused of assault. Robin said the woman is thinking there should be some charges brought against him so he's not out of the woods yet.
Robin read about how Mike Francesa is in the market for a new TV simulcast location. Robin said he wont be on the YES network anymore. Robin said that's Mad Dog's old partner. Howard said he doesn't think Mad Dog would say it but he'd think that he'd want him to do worse. He said maybe he's secretly happy.
Robin read a story about Lindsay Lohan and how she might be writing a book. Howard said he can't imagine there will be much honesty there. Howard did a live commercial read after that discussion.
Robin read a story about the school shooting in Colorado. Robin said this young man walked in ready to shoot but this time he didn't get to do that much damage. Robin said he critically wounded one girl but an officer was after him and he ended up shooting himself. Robin said that the kid was upset with the guy who ran the debate team and he was able to get out of the building before the kid got him.
Howard said he was reading a story about why the NRA has such a hold over the government and they never did give a reason. Howard said they tried to sponsor a bill after Newtown and the NRA got that thing shut down. Howard said everyone was for it but then things go to hell in a hand basket. Howard said we have to get a bigger hold of this government. Robin said she was watching a show about this guy Richard Slotkin who was explaining why we have gun violence here. Robin said we're not the only country that's armed but we have more violence here. Robin said it's all about what we believe our rights are. Robin said it's like the wild west background. Robin said you can see it in movies and in video games. Robin said it's not about the games causing the violence but it's what we watch in those games and movies. Robin said we like the violence. Howard said we need someone to legislate.
Howard said that he has the woman who adopted the two kittens that he and Beth were fostering. Howard said they're named Bonnie and Clyde. The woman said that they're great. She said she loves the kittens. She said that she makes sure the doors are closed too. Howard said Beth turned to him worried about how they were. The caller said they're doing great. She said they're both fine. Howard said he's glad to hear that. Howard thanked the woman, Emily, for calling in.
Robin said Leroy got out of her house when she was going out one night. Robin said that she saw him out on the deck and called him in. She said it's very scary.
Howard said that Leroy is Robin's cat and not her boyfriend. Robin said that everyone in her neighborhood should know that just in case they thought she was looking for her boyfriend.
Robin said Peter O'Toole died at the age of 81 over the weekend. Howard said he loved his movies but that guy was whacked. Robin said he had a gorgeous face early on but he drank himself into that face he had later on. Howard said they gave him an Academy Award a few years back after being nominated like 8 times and never winning. Howard said he thought his name was a goof. He said it's like two words for penis. He said that's like Dick O'Johnson. Robin said Joan Fontaine also died over the weekend. Howard said it's a bad move to die the same time Peter O'Toole died. Howard said you don't get as much press. Howard said that's like Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker dying. Howard said he thinks Paul got more press. Robin said they were both put to rest this weekend. Robin said they had a huge ceremony for Nelson Mandela. Robin had some audio of some people speaking at the Mandela funeral.
Howard said he had some audio of the sign language guy giving an explanation about his poor signing during the Nelson Mandela thing. Howard played the clip and said that crazy people really speak with such power. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel did a bit where they interpreted the signs that the guy was actually doing. Howard said he knew some sign language. Robin said he really is an interpreter. He's just not reliable. Howard said they did a bit on Saturday Night Live that was pretty funny. Howard said he didn't get to see John Goodman yet. He said he didn't finish watching the whole show.
Robin said the Selfie that Obama did isn't going away. Howard said he's not sure if Michelle was really pissed for doing that and talking to the woman from Denmark. Howard said he doesn't think that she'd be pissed at him for that. Robin said that you can have a look like Michelle did at any time. She said that it was a split second shot and you don't know how she was really feeling. Robin read about the woman from Denmark and how her husband lives in another country and he's either homosexual or bi-sexual. Robin said she has no idea what's going on there. Robin said that Selfie thing was a bad idea though. Howard said he agrees with her about that. Howard said even if it was for the celebration of someone's life you don't do that kind of thing.
Robin read a story about a guy who tried to help a woman who had slid off the road. Robin said the guy was on his way back from his wedding reception and ended up getting hit by another car and died. Howard said he just keeps driving if he sees something going on. He said he doesn't want anything to do with that. Howard said just know that he's never going to help you, ever. Howard said Robin once convinced her to pick up a woman on the side of the road but they had to kick her out of the car. Howard said the woman was a fucking lunatic. He said they were driving her all around town. Howard said that taught him a lesson. He said never again. Howard said that was just a bad idea. He said that they got nothing out of it.
Robin read a story about Dennis Rodman going back to North Korea and stay there for an indefinite period. Howard said that guy who runs the country killed his own uncle. Howard said he's sure Dennis doesn't care and would say the uncle wasn't a good guy. Howard said Dennis is lucky if he doesn't get his head cut off. Robin said Rodman calls the leader a close friend.
Robin read a story about a man who was shot and killed outside the Short Hills Mall in New Jersey when his car was car-jacked. Robin said no arrests have been made so far.
Robin said on 60 Minutes they were talking about Edward Snowden and how much damage he's done to the NSA and how he could have even more. Robin said he has information on things that the NSA was listening in on with foreign countries. Robin said he's done a disservice to them all. Robin said that he's asking to come back to this country and get immunity. Robin said they may want him to face justice. Robin said he has asylum in Russia right now.
Robin said the Golden Globe nominations are out. Robin said there are some others being announced as well. Robin said that they could be a precursor to the Oscars. Robin had some audio of someone reading the nominations. Howard played those and goofed on the woman who was reading because of the way she said the name Mandela. There were some clips of Aziz Ansari reading some of the nominees too. Howard wondered how he got that gig.
Robin read a story about the family that got stuck in the Nevada wilderness for a few days. She had some audio of the family talking about getting stuck. Robin said they were on the Today show talking about that.
Robin read a story about the Megamillions jackpot going up to $550 million. Robin said they say you can increase your odds of winning by buying more tickets. Howard said that's great advice. Howard said if you buy every ticket you'll win. Robin said you need the winning numbers. She said you could still not win.
Robin read a story about a gun advocate who says that gun free zones are murder magnets. Robin had some audio of the guy talking about that. Robin said he and his group don't like the gun legislation that's on the books. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:40am.
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Gary said that JD stuck his head in the studio at one point to make sure the speaker was off. He went to Jon Hein to make sure he knew to stick his head in when Howard talked about him.
Sal said he thinks he has a good singing voice. He said he likes it. He said he plays his own songs in the car when he's driving. He said that he did a cover of the Christmas Waltz by Frank Sinatra. He said he's not happy with the music in that one.
Jon said Sal really likes his own voice. Sal said he did this instead of sending out a Christmas card. Gary said that Sal is saying he did this for other people but he really did it for himself. Sal said that when you send out a Christmas card you do that for yourself too. Gary said Sal has a good singing voice so he's probably the best in his group of friends. He said you get a big head when you're on a cruise ship and win a contest.
The guys asked Sal about what he said about Michel Buble and how Sal was saying that he does an impression of the people he's singing. Sal claimed he was doing an homage to Elvis when he sang like Elvis. The guys were kind of confused by his logic. Sal said he just copied the spirit of Andy Williams in the other song.
Jon said that Howard had Sal performing at Radio City and he seemed to believe that he could pull it off. Jon asked if he was doubting it at all. Sal said that he did a couple of times but then he thought Howard meant it. He said Howard couldn't make eye contact with Robin today so it was weird that she was agreeing with Howard and so was Fred. He said there was no way they could have planned this out but it turns out they did. Benjy said he knew what was going on but for a second he believed it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he felt sorry for Sal at one point. He said that he was listening to it an laughing but then he knew the sucker punch was coming and it's right before the holiday. The caller also asked if there's any way to buy tickets to the Birthday show. Gary said there really isn't. Gary said he wanted to point out that Sal is the one who has perfected the sucker punch. He said that Sal pranks people and he has to be ready to get pranked himself. He said he can't bitch about it. Sal said he's gotten pranked before right before Christmas and it hurts.
Sal said that Howard was saying that the people on Twitter were bull shitting him and he wanted to believe that. Gary said he does have a decent voice but he can't become ''that guy.'' Sal said he won't. He said he's not that guy and he doesn't think he's sensational. He said he likes singing though. Sal said he likes being the guy he is on the show.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Sal to do him a favor and stop singing. Sal said he knows he got some negative feedback about his singing. He said that he believed them and the positive ones too. Sal said he also put it on Facebook and he only got 4 likes. Gary said you can put anything on Facebook and get likes. Gary said he never ''likes'' anything on Facebook no matter what it is. Gary said it's so easy to just like anything and there's no effort to put into it. Sal said he was a little bummed about not getting more likes from his family with that post. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon asked Gary about when all of this started happening with Ronnie. Gary said he remembers Ronnie being fun at the parties they used to have but he wasn't the life of the party like he is now. Sal said it's fun observing him and he's not the life of the party but he does make it very fun and entertaining.
Jon asked Ronnie if he has always had that type of personality or it is a long time coming. Ronnie asked what he's talking about. He said that Sal is the one saying there is a second side. Gary said there is a second side and he's seen it. He said he goes there and tells the girls what to do. Ronnie said he guesses he's always been like that.
Benjy said he's wondering if Ronnie could go to a club he's never been to and have the girls react the same. Ronnie said it would work. He said he'd talk to the manager about it and he'd let them know what's going on. Jon asked if they're worried about Richard drinking. Ronnie said he's not but he did worry about not being able to wake him up. Sal said that he was worried about that too.
Gary said things got real with Richard today. He said Fred was looking out for him and telling him he had to cut the shit. Richard said he understands that. He said that he was listening to what he had to say. Jon said he thinks that Richard already has his mind made up about that stuff. He said he's not going to change the way he drinks. Richard said he's not but he appreciates the way they're looking out for him and they're worried.
Richard said Sal and Ronnie never saw him get out of control. Sal said he just passes out after drinking. Benjy said he thinks they're worried about him doing damage to himself internally. Gary said Peter O'Toole almost died solely from drinking. Richard said he gets tested at the doctor and he's fine. He said he doesn't go super crazy.
Gary said they say smoking kills people. He said if he runs every day and maybe his lungs are fine. He said if you do it long enough then you know you're going to die from it. Richard said he's going to just have fun for now. He said he's fine and he may have to worry about it some day but right now he's fine.
Benjy asked if he was told at 60 he was going to need a liver replacement, would he stop drinking. Richard said that might slow him down. Sal said that there are cancer sufferers who will take off their oxygen mask to take a puff of a cigarette. Gary said he's seen that happen.
Richard said he is scared of flying and he dreads the whole thing about it. He said that the one guiding light is that he can go and have some drinks at the airport. Gary said maybe he could take a valium. Richard said he's terrified of pills.
Jon asked if anyone there doesn't know how tall they are. Benjy said he's changed how tall he is so many times he doesn't remember. Jon said he gets that with him. Jon asked how tall Ronnie is. Ronnie said he's 5'8'' or so. Ronnie said they went through this and he was 5'7 1/2'' tall. The guys talked about JD not knowing how tall he was. They also talked about how JD hasn't been to the doctor in like a year. Gary said that he remembers being that age and not going to the doctor because he wasn't worried about anything. They had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said if Richard had kids he wouldn't be able to do that. Richard said friends tell them to get in all of the fun they can now because when they do have kids they won't be able to do it anymore. He said they like to travel now and they like to drink too.
Jon took a call from Ralph who said he loves how shorter people love to tell you to the exact half inch how tall they are. Gary said that he did it because he's tall enough to not be short at 5'8 1/2''. Ralph said he doesn't think he's short but he's borderline.
Sal said he always gets people telling him that he's shorter than they thought. Richard said that he gets people telling him he's not as ugly as Howard makes him out to be. Gary said he gets people up in his face saying that his teeth aren't as bad as they thought they'd be.
Jon said that Howard was carrying around 10 extra pounds in clothes today. Gary said he had a jacket on and some boots.
Ralph said he doesn't get why JD doesn't want to be in shape. He said he could be getting chicks. Gary said he knows he wants to be thinner but he's not willing to put in the work. Sal said if you're beating off to a web cam then it doesn't matter what you look like.
Richard asked Ralph if he has seen Howard's abs. Ralph said he hasn't seen them actually. He said he did hear the show today but he hasn't seen those abs. Sal asked Gary if he ever wanted to have abs. Gary said he did when he was a kid. He said he also wanted to be an ice cream man.
Jon had Jon Leiberman in to give his Howard 100 News rundown. He had a bunch of stories that they'll be covering today on Howard 100 News. They wrapped up and ended the show around 11:25am.
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Howard started the show talking to Robin who had read an article about Merryl Streep that inspired her. Robin said she's just brilliant. Robin said she wants to be an actress just like her. Howard said she is. She did Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Howard said he remembers that like it was yesterday.
Howard said Steve Carell is going to be coming in today. He said that he's one of the most grossing box office actors of the year. Howard said he didn't realize that Get Smart made $200 million. Howard said Dwayne Johnson used to come in there all the time but now he won't. Howard said they had him in when he was a wrestler but now that he's doing well in acting he won't come in. Howard said he doesn't get why guys like that go on Jay Leno but not there. Howard said that they have more listeners than Jay has viewers. Howard said they actually talk to people on this show. Howard said they don't feel anything for you on Jay Leno's show.
Howard read the list of the top money makers in movies. Howard said Robert Downey Jr. is on the list with Dwayne Johnson and guys like that. Howard said Steve Carell was number 3 on the list. Howard said Vin Diesel was 4 and then Sandra Bullock and Paul Walker. Howard said that Steve will be in later this morning.
Howard said he was reading about how great Ray Kelly is for New York City. Howard said they've had 11 9/11 type acts that they foiled in the city. Howard said they actually foiled them. Robin said part of leadership is to make sure there is someone to follow you. Robin said if they don't then they're not great leaders. Howard said Ray Kelly was a Marine and you have to check and double check things. He said if you don't then you lose troops. Howard said that Ray Kelly checks and double checks things. Howard said most people need checking. He said unfortunately that's true. He said that most people can't follow through or take initiative. Howard said real leaders treat people like they're retarded. Robin said that is not true.
Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't on the line. There was just a loud noise coming over the line. Howard said that it must be some kind of code from Mars. Howard interpreted the message which said ''Howard... has abs.'' Howard said maybe it's Benjy on the phone. He said Benjy said that he was sexy yesterday. He said he may have been masturbating to him last night. Benjy said maybe he was a little bit.
Howard kept the annoying sound on the line and kept interpreting. Howard said it says that ''Lindsay Lohan is writing a tell all book about her life... can't she write a tell less book?'' Howard said now it's saying that JD's weight gain has made him change his name from Da Bad Ass to Da Fat Ass.
Howard said the message is saying that Richard is a professional drinker. Howard said now he just said ''cunt hair.'' Howard said that's hard to say in Morse Code. Howard said that's all he said. Now it's just a bunch of gibberish. He said he's going to hang up now that he's offended him with ''cunt hair.'' Howard said he also said that George Takei is gay. Howard said he wanted Robin to know that.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she went on the web site last night to see the date with Beth O being up to $51,000. Howard said that's great for charity. Howard said that you can find out how to enter to win Birthday Show tickets at HowardStern.com or SiriusXM.com. Howard said they have 1500 seats at the theater and they'll have food and drinking there. He said they'll have a cavalcade of stars coming through too.
Howard said there are other ways to win too. Howard said he'll be giving away tickets on the air. He said there's also the chance to win a date with Beth to the show. Howard said you can bid on that through AnimalLeague.org. Howard said the bidding goes on until December 26.
Mariann said that tomorrow is the last day to enter the contest on SiriusXM.com. Howard said there are so many people asking for tickets but he just can't do it. Howard said that this is for the fans and it's a very special radio show. Howard said he can't give tickets to everyone. Howard said that they have a lot of people coming together for his birthday. Howard said that there are a lot of special things planned. Howard said they're keeping a lot of it secret.
Mariann said every day with him is like a birthday party. Mariann said she wants to thank him for everything and also said that she thinks that he's going to be on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee on January 2nd. Howard said she's wrong. Howard said that he got a note from Jerry's personal assistant who told him when he'll be on. Howard said it's planned for the season finale show on February 6th. They're going to make the fans wait because he's so popular. Howard said it'll be on February 6th.
Mariann said that the promo made it seem like he'd be on January 2nd. Mariann started to sing and yell at Howard so he hung up on her. Howard said he heard a crow out in his yard one day and it made him think of Mariann.
Howard read more emails about that and then played a commercial parody about ''Delusional Singer Syndrome.'' It was about Sal of course. It had clips from yesterday's show where Sal was singing and talking about what he thinks Michael Buble's problem is.
Howard read an email asking if he had seen the season finale of Sons of Anarchy. Howard said he did and it was completely insane. Howard said there are like 3 guys left in the gang and they just kill people Willy Nilly. Howard said they're bankrupt. He said they should be the biggest criminals on the planet.
Howard said Homeland was on Sunday night. Howard said he won't spoil it but yesterday he was in a panic when he saw an article in the paper about it. Howard said he didn't watch it Sunday night. He said he wanted to watch it on Monday. Howard said he wanted to watch the show but he had things to get to. Howard said he had to eat his dinner and do some work. Howard said he couldn't wait for his Homeland. Howard said it was getting better and better. Howard said he was watching a TV show and they were talking about the shocking ending of the show. Howard said he turned the TV off. Then he went down and got on his computer. He said Fred wrote a couple of jokes and one was the ending of Homeland. Howard said he wanted to kill himself. He said Ralph was over and he told him what Fred did. Howard said he put the ending to the show in his joke. Howard said he hated Fred so much last night. Fred said he was trying to be timely.
Howard said Ralph was saying that will teach him about conscientious about doing work. Howard said he learned from Fred about the ending. Robin asked what the joke was. Howard said it wasn't so great. He said he could have waited. Howard said he doesn't even want to say what happened in the show. Howard said he's not sure how long he should wait. Howard said maybe tomorrow. Gary said that the rule is 24 hours according to some. Howard said he thought the ending was very good. He said they've opened up something good for next season. Robin said she doesn't agree. Howard said he knows he's right on this. Robin said she thinks they're in trouble.
Howard said he was sick of a certain person who was hung. Robin said she hates when they take a great character and make him die. Howard said on Sons of Anarchy they kill everyone.
Howard said he got some email about Richard's drinking. Howard said that people think he's an alcoholic. Howard read a list of things that show they are an alcoholic and many of those things applied to Richard.
Howard said that guys like Richard say they're fine right now but eventually he's going to have something happen to him from the drinking. Howard said the liver has a hard time processing the alcohol. Howard said that's where these guys end up in trouble. Howard said that he's a young guy and he thinks he can get away with it. Howard said he wishes him luck.
Howard said he got a nice Christmas card from Richard's dad. Howard said he has a call from Richard's dad too. Howard played that and Richard's dad was saying that they got a rooster that's acting gay and not having sex with the chickens there at their farm. Howard said animals shut down when they're in a new environment. Howard said that's probably why he's acting the way he is.
Howard said the thing on his mind yesterday was that actress who said ''Mandela'' in a funny way. Howard said it drove him up the fucking wall. Robin said it was Zoe Saldana in that clip yesterday. Howard said she said it like ''Mon-DAY-La'' Howard said it's like these people who learn the pronunciation of one Spanish word and use it in a sentence. Howard said that's what she was doing. Howard said that was driving him nuts and making him mental yesterday. They played the clip a few times during that discussion.
Howard said now they can find out what the Wack Pack wants for Christmas. He payed a clip of Ass Napkin Ed singing instead of saying what he wants. Howard said he's awful. Ed was singing and getting the lyrics wrong for ''Deck the Halls.'' He was trying to sing a few other songs and didn't know all of the lyrics to those and his singing wasn't all that great either. Howard was laughing while Ed was trying to figure out the lyrics.
Howard said maybe Ed can sing at the birthday show. Howard said that Pittsburgh Pete left a message about why he should be at the show. Howard played that clip and Pete was saying that this is the first call he's making about this and he's a great representative for Pittsburgh. He said no one has contributed more to the show since 1996 than he has. Pete said some of his calls have been in various replays of their show. He said he's part of classic radio bits. Pete said he would like to be invited and asked to be kept in mind.
Howard said that's some plea. Howard said Gary is getting a million calls like that. Howard said he likes Pete. Gary said he got a call from a guy who used to do phony phone calls for them in the 90s. He said he hasn't heard from him in 10 years. Gary said he had Steve Brandano call him back and he told him to enter the contest. He said the guy said Gary would take care of him. Howard said they have very limited seats. He said they can't give tickets to everyone.
Howard said that someone else from Pittsburgh called about tickets too. Howard played that clip and the guy left a message telling them about this news reporter who has huge tits. He said they're Robin sized tits. The guy, Rick, said that they should take a look at her. Gary said her name is Megan Glaros and she used to be a cheerleader. Fred found a picture and said they are very big tits.
Howard said Bobo is playing an angle like they're idiots. Howard said he claims to be having major anxiety about the show. Howard said he should just calm down. Howard said they're trying to figure it all out. He said they really don't know if he's in or out right now. Howard said if he wants an answer right now then he's out.
Howard played a clip of Bobo's voice mail where he says that he and Mariann should be there and he would like a call about it. He said he has to put people in place so they can go. Howard said he has such a complicated life that he has to put people in place.
Howard said he saw the picture of Megan Glaros. Howard said she does look good. Howard said she does have Robin size tits. Howard said he has to take a break. He said he has a lot to get to. Howard mentioned that Queen Latifah and Perez Hilton will be on soon. He went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that's a good one. He said they'll listen to a little bit of Van Halen together. Howard let the song play a little longer. He said that's a good song. Howard said what a band this was.
Howard took a call from a woman and said this is so much more than just a show. Howard asked her to hold on a second while he listens to this song. Howard said the song is just so good. Howard said he hears stories that Eddie can't play many of these songs anymore. Howard said they say that he can't play a lot of his own licks anymore. Howard said he hopes that's horse shit.
Howard was doing fine until the caller, Megan, started to sing along. Megan told Howard that he makes her morning. Howard said now they have a Facebook page so you can find that at Facebook.com/TheHowardSternShow. Howard said they're very slow when it comes to getting to that stuff. He said soon they'll have an AOL chatroom. Robin said she still has an AOL email address. Megan told her to get rid of that. She said only old people have that. Howard said they are old.
Robin said she read that Brad Pitt is turning 50 and she was like ''Jesus Christ...'' Howard asked if Robin has other email addresses he can use. Robin said she has Gmail but she uses her AOL address the most.
Megan asked if Howard can post a picture of his abs on his Facebook account. Howard said no way. He said they're not that good. Benjy said they are that good. Howard said he likes Benjy bonding with him like this. He said he's coming on to him in a gay way and he likes it.
Megan asked if she can play a game to win tickets. Howard said he'll let her do that. Howard said he had to lose some weight because he's going to a warm place during vacation. Howard said he was keeping his shirt on by the pool but now he's lost some weight and he's looking good. Howard said he sees people tanning and rubbing lotions and oils on. Howard let out a belch and had Robin laughing at that.
Howard said there are guys who walk around with their bellies hanging out and their shirts sticking out. Howard said he has some shame himself. He said that he's ashamed of his body like a normal person. He said those fat guys walk around proud.
Howard said that he's been trying on clothes for the upcoming season of AGT. Howard said he thinks that Heidi and Mel should dress more provocatively. He said he went to the producers and complained about their clothes. He said they were hired because they're hot chicks. He said that he and Howie are gross and they're the beauty on the show. He said they know that. Robin said Heidi has talked about how she'll never wear negligee in public again. Howard said you can't tell anyone what to wear anymore. He said they have to come to their own conclusion. Robin said Roger Ailes tells women what to wear. Howard said he'd doing a good job too.
Howard said they're going to pick the person for today's game of the weight game. They gave her a choice of Jason, Jon Hein or Benjy. She picked Benjy. Howard said Benjy was thin for a while but he put on some weight. Howard said he thinks Benjy knows his height but he won't say. Howard asked what it is. Benjy said he really thinks it's 5'7 3/4''. Howard said they'll say he's 5'8'' tall. Howard said he has a belly but it's not as bad as it used to be. Howard said he has a girlfriend so he has to keep it off. Howard told Megan he lost weight to get the girl and then put it back on.
Gary said Benjy's shirt is full of food stains. Benjy said it was nut dust. Howard said he had to stop eating nuts. He said they put on a lot of weight because they're so addictive. Howard said the salted nuts are really addictive. Benjy said that's what they were.
Howard said Benjy is about 5'8'' and he's big boned. Benjy told Megan that men weigh a lot more than women. Megan thanked him for that help. Howard said he's feeling good about Benjy since he said he likes the way he looks.
Megan asked for Fred's help on this. Fred said he thinks Benjy lost some weight. He said he's not as fat as he once was. Fred said he thinks he's about 240. Howard asked Gary what he thinks. Gary said he's going with 230. Howard said he thinks he's around 210. Megan said she was going to say 190. Fred said she hasn't seen that since the 1990s. Benjy whispered to her to listen to Fred. Megan said that she's going to go with 230. Then she went down to 225. Benjy moaned. He said he's going to have to get undressed. Megan went back up to 230. Benjy said he thinks that it'll be around 237 with his jeans on. Howard had him weigh in. Gary said Benjy is 230 pounds. She hit it right on the head.
Howard said Benjy is 230 so she's going to the birthday show. Megan said that they're her only friends. She said she has speakers in her shower so she can hear the show. Howard asked what she'll wear to the show. She said she'll have to get a gown. Howard said they want a high class looking crowd. Howard asked who she's bringing. She said her husband is sort of a fan but she has a friend who is a big fan. She said she'll have to figure that out.
Howard said she won a rare ticket. Howard said Benjy wants to be down to 180 by the birthday show. Howard said he's got a long way to go in a month. Fred said he thinks he could do it. Benjy said he wants to stop eating. Howard told him not to do that.
Howard said the birthday show is on January 31 at Hammerstein Ballroom. He said if you want to buy your way in you can do that through North Shore Animal League (AnimalLeague.org). Howard said they're giving a whole treatment with that donation. Howard said it's going to be something else. Howard said they had to take another break after that.
Howard came back and let the Ronnie song play a little longer. Howard took a call after that. The caller, Ariel, said he had the bachelor party with Ronnie, Sal and Richard. He said Ronnie is the man. Howard said he heard he's a millionaire from the internet. Ariel said he's a professional moocher. He said his brother is the one who makes the money. Ariel said he's the one who's getting married. He said he works for his brother online. He said they're in the porn industry. Howard said that's what he figured. The guy said they do cam sites. Howard said that they get ridiculous amounts of money from that. Howard said Ronnie was saying they run all kinds of web sites and they have technical expertise. Howard said porn is where the money is at. Howard said you can charge people for porn.
Howard asked Ariel what he thinks his brother is worth. He said he's not a billionaire but he's very generous. He said he gets money per sales for the porn sties. He said he gets paid per sale through his web site. Howard asked if they have to sign new companies. Ariel said they have web cam sites and they design sites that bring people to those web cam sites. Ariel said his brother has been selling porn since he was 13 years old. He said that's where the money is. Howard said that's great for guys because they don't have to leave their home to jerk off to a chick. Howard said there's nothing wrong with that.
Howard said if some of these countries that hate them had this kind of thing they'd leave us alone and be happy jerking off. Howard said that there are many people who are happy doing that.
Howard said we should just drop bombs of porn on these countries. Howard said they don't get to see that kind of stuff over there.
Howard said Ronnie got this great gig with these guys. Howard said he recorded more sex tips from Ronnie sand they're so disgusting that he didn't want to play them. Howard said Gary told him he should. Howard said Ronnie recorded three tips and they're so disgusting that he said he wasn't going to air them. He said Gary said he should just to show how disgusting Ronnie really is. Howard said Ronnie has gotten so full of himself when it comes to women.
Ariel said he thought Ronnie was going to bang his mom. He said he had his hands on his mom at the house after he went to the bathroom. Howard said Ronnie must be older than his mom. Ariel said his mom is like 40. Howard said he's way older then.
Gary said Ronnie's voice gets really creepy in these recordings. He said he tells these stories and they're really creepy. Howard said Ronnie came up there years ago and he got famous from him. Howard said Lonnie set Ronnie up as a guy who is like an owner. Gary said he has a position of power that's not defined. Ariel said he has that stripper confidence.
Howard said this clip is really gross. He said he hated Ronnie after hearing it. Howard played the clip and Ronnie was talking about what to do with a candy cane. He said you lick it and make it wet and stick it in your girl's pussy. He said she tingles from that and then you stick it in her asshole and start to eat her out. He said it tastes so good. He said the candy cane tastes like your woman after that.
Ariel said this is why they say Jews ruined Christmas. Howard said Ronnie was talking about sticking that candy cane up her ass and then saying it tastes like your woman. Gary said it tastes like shit.
Gary asked Howard to play the one about Eggnog. Howard said this one is gross. He said that voice is really creepy too. In that clip Ronnie says you stick your cock in Eggnog and tell the woman to suck it. Then he says that you cum in the Eggnog and the girl drinks it. Howard, Robin and Gary were all disgusted by that.
Howard let Ariel go after he told the same joke about Jews ruining Christmas. Howard said that guy was getting on his nerves a little bit.
Howard said he hates to tell Ronnie but chicks don't care about any of that stuff. Howard did an impression of Ronnie talking about all of that stuff and saying that the girls must be severely damaged if they do this stuff. Howard said Ronnie must be downstairs waiting for Steve Carell. Gary said he thinks he is. He said he's trying to call him.
Howard said Gary must have been right about playing these. He said he has one more. This one was about Mistletoe. Howard played the clip and Ronnie said that you put Mistletoe right above your asshole. He said the girl has no choice but to eat your asshole. Robin said she thinks that all of Ronnie's sex is ''You have no choice'' at this point. Howard did more of an impression of Ronnie and goofed on him some more.
Robin said Ronnie is Howard's creation. Howard said he knows and he'll take responsibility for that. He said he's not sure what that voice is that he puts on. Howard and Fred went back and forth doing impressions of those clips. Howard said just imagine Ronnie's cock in Eggnog.
Howard said that is the angriest ''Peace and Love'' ever. The caller said you can fist bump or hug him but that's it. Howard said they should tell the fans to send tons of mail to him regardless. Howard said he loves Ringo but that's a wacky announcement. Howard said he should just not sign anything.
The caller said that the book that he sells is all pictures of him from when he was in the Beatles. Howard said they must have had a lot of cameras around that band. He said it seems like they all have a lot of photos of each other.
The caller asked if she can play for tickets. Howard said he ran out of tickets. He asked Gary if he's right. Gary didn't answer. The caller said she's not mad. Howard said they really did run out. Gary came in and said that they can't do it today. He told her to try tomorrow. Howard said he had to take another break after that.
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Howard came back and said he's anxious to talk to Steve Carell. Howard said he's in the new Anchorman 2 movie. Howard said that it's good to see him. Robin said that's the 40 Year Old Virgin.
Howard said it's weird to see him in person. He said he's seen him in so many movies and it's just strange to see him there. Howard said that he seems to blend in when he's out on the street. Steve said that no one cares when he's out on the street.
Howard asked how long he's been out promoting Anchorman 2. Steve said it feels like 8 years. Howard said he heard that the first movie did okay but Paramount didn't think they could do it again. Howard said they thought it was played out. Steve said it's sort of a ''screw you.'' He said Paramount is behind the push and they sense that there is something to be gained by doing this. Howard said Will Ferrell is everywhere with the promotion. He said Steve is out doing it too but not as much as Will. Steve said Will is doing it in a very funny way and that's why it's working.
Steve said they had changed the name of a school to the Ron Burgundy School of Communication for a day and Will had to make a 45 minute speech there as Ron Burgundy and he had no idea he had to do it. He said he managed to pull it off though.
Howard said they make Anchorman and let the guys adlib a lot. Howard asked how they do that with film. Steve said they do it with video now so it's easy to let the camera keep rolling. He said they can have a 1/4 page of dialog and that can end up being 8 pages long at the end of the day.
Howard asked if he can handle it when they do so much adlibbing and it doesn't end up in the film. Steve said he's fine with it and the director is good with just letting them go for it. He said if it's not good then it won't end up in the movie.
Steve said he was worried about the movie losing it's coolness but he thinks people still like it in that cultish way. Howard said that Steve doesn't have to carry the whole film. This is Will's movie. He said that he must not feel the pressure that Will is feeling. Steve said he'd walk away Scott free on this one. Howard said you must think like that when you do a film. He said he gets a little bit on the back end and if it tanks then he wins either way.
Howard said Steve turns down movies and he has to make the right decisions. Steve said there are times when you think you like something and you know no one is going to see it. He said he did a movie about the end of the world and he knew no one was going to see it. He said he was cool with that. He just wanted to do that movie. Steve said you just have to go for it now and then.
Robin said he got out of a hit TV show to make movies. Howard said he was on The Office. Howard said he wants to talk about that too. He said Steve's father invented the cathode tube. Steve said it was actually an uncle who did that. He said his dad was an engineer who developed stuff for space craft and stuff like that. Howard asked if that makes him feel bad or is he just proud. Steve said he never felt like that. He said his dad was a very mild mannered man. He said he was a gentleman.
Howard said Steve was going to go to law school but he went into acting. He asked if his dad encouraged him. Steve said he did. He said both of his parents did. He said he was kind of stymied about going to law school. He said they asked why he wanted to be a lawyer and he didn't have an answer for that. He said he never thought of a career as an actor. Howard said he grew up in Massachusetts and you don't think about that stuff. Steve said he did school plays but it didn't seem like a viable career choice.
Howard said one of the first things he did was go to Second City in Chicago. Howard asked how he got to audition for that. Steve said he took classes there and then you do the audition through that. Howard asked if they tap people in class to go to the stage. Steve said they weed people out that way. Howard said he met Stephen Colbert there. Steve said he did. Howard said Colbert was a major influence to him. Howard said when Stephen got the job on The Daily Show he called Steve to come work with him there. Steve said he owes Stephen a lot there. He said he gave him a career. He said that guy is very smart and very talented. Howard said Stephen didn't think of him as the competition. Steve said they just loved to work together. Howard asked if he was great in Second City. Steve said he really is. He said he can sing and he's a musician and people don't even know that.
Howard asked how long he was at Second City. Steve said he was there 5 years. He said that you're in front of an audience every night and it's all trial and error. He said you just throw stuff out there and if it doesn't work you try again.
Howard asked Steve if he got paid there at Second City. Steve said he was. That's how he met his wife, Nancy Walls, too. Steve said that he did get paid to work there. He said it was enough money for him. He said he had a cheap apartment so he was fine.
Howard said Steve worked at the Post Office and they were going to fire him. Steve said that he did quit but it could have been another week or so. He said he was a post worker and he delivered the mail out the wrong window of his own car. He said it's mind numbing. He said he was sorting mail when everyone was already out delivering. He said he got lost on his route during the winter.
Howard said that must be so much stress. Howard said he has no sense of direction and he can't file things. He said that he could never do that job. Steve said he was working 12-14 hours a day. He said they just laughed at him. He said it was embarrassing. Steve said the thing he would do is write letters to kids who wrote to Santa. He said that added to his 14 hour day though.
Howard asked if he ever threw out the mail and just said fuck it. Steve said he did find mail under the seat of his car after he quit and moved to Chicago. He said it wasn't on purpose though.
Howard said Steve is a good looking dude. He asked if he did well with the chicks. Steve said he didn't. He said the only way he could have scored his wife was being at Second City. Howard said his wife was on Saturday Night Live. Steve said she was. Howard said he's shocked he was never picked up to be on the show. Steve said that they got married a week after she got hired on SNL.
Howard asked Steve if it's hard to be with someone who gets the big shot like that. Steve said that it was kind of tough but he supported her. He said he was really proud of her. Steve said she was very deserving of it. Robin asked how he kept his career going. Howard said he must have wondered if he could keep his career going. Steve said he did all the time. Howard said he had a job every day and he liked the aspect of that. Robin said she was the bread winner and she wonders what he was doing. Steve said he was doing a play and working and he got the Dana Carvey Show with Colbert.
Howard asked Steve about the Dana Carvey show. He said that only lasted 7 shows. Steve said it was huge in his career though. He said that Stephen Colbert was there and so was Robert Smigel and Louis C.K.. Howard said Robert Smigel was there and he did the Ambiguously Gay Duo and Steve is the voice of Gary in the cartoons. Howard said that Smigel hired him to be Gary. Steve said he knows. Howard said you'd think that Lorne Michaels would have hired him. Colbert was the other voice in the cartoon. Steve said they thought of making that into a movie. Howard said he'd go see that. Howard said Smigel is fantastic. He asked how he picked them. Steve said that came out of the Dana Carvey show. He said they started that cartoon on Dana's show. Howard asked if he had to make up a character or did he just use his normal voice. Steve said he put an ounce of thought into it. He said they would watch the cartoons that Robert watched as a kid and they'd emulate the cartoons they grew up with.
Howard asked Steve if he thought the Dana Carvey show was going to be huge. Steve said he did. He said that it aired after Home Improvement and that was the first mistake. He said Dana did an impression of Bill Clinton that first show and he had 8 nipples like a dog and the ratings just dropped into the basement when people saw him lactating.
Howard said that it must have been really long days doing the show and then the show tanks and it has to be depressing. Steve said that was the most fun he and Stephen Colbert ever had. He said they would write in the morning and it would be on that night.
Howard said they lost that job and then Steve moved back to California. Steve said his wife was off SNL at that time. He said he had jobs though so he was making enough money. Howard said that Colbert then calls him to be on The Daily Show. Steve said he did a field piece for them and he got hired from that. He said that he and his wife moved back to New York.
Howard said Steve's audition for Dana Carvey's show was a German guy who yells out nice things. Steve said he wore a turtleneck and a blazer and just yelled out really nice things like ''Lets all get in the mini van and go out for yogurt.'' Steve said they auditioned on stage in a comedy club and Dana pulled him to the side and told him he didn't think he had anything to worry about. He said that was a big moment for him. He said he doesn't really audition well.
Howard asked if he still gets nervous doing things now. Steve said that he still does. He said that he wouldn't work at all if he had to audition for stuff now.
Howard said Steve got on The Daily Show and then The Office. Steve said that led to Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey. He said that led to Anchorman and then the Office around the same time. Howard asked if he's still close with Stephen Colbert. Steve said he is. He said they still get together. Howard asked if he's close to Jim Carrey. Steve said he's very deep and very serious. He said he has that thing he shows to everyone but he's a tortured artist. He said there's a lot going on there. He said he's a nice guy though.
Howard asked if he has a lot of comedy friends. Steve said he has a lot of comedy friends but he's not very social. Howard asked if a movie is a success do people hang out more and less if it's a bomb. Steve said he hasn't noticed that. He said you stay close with the people you work with.
Howard said The Office came along and Ricky Gervais did it in England. Then they were going to give it to Paul Giamatti. He said that Steve hears about this and they ask him to audition. Steve said they told him what it was about and he went in like anyone else and gave it his best shot. Howard asked how much prep he had to do. Steve said he read the lines and kind of gave it a character. He said they let you improvise a lot in the audition.
Howard asked if they had a lot of people in the audition. Steve said it was just a director and people behind a wall that he didn't see. He said it was like a work session so it wasn't so bad.
Steve said that he and his wife wrote a pilot so they're going through the audition process now so they feel for them. Steve said some people are just terrible though. Howard said you just know when you see the right person. Steve said you do.
Howard said The Office got really bad reviews when it started. Steve said it really did. Howard said the thing that saved the show was Judd Apatow who did The 40 Year Old Virgin with him. Steve said that he's been very lucky with his career. Howard said that it all falls into place with Steve. Steve said it really did. He said he wasn't the kind of guy who was going to force anyone to like him. Howard said Judd asked him if he had any ideas. He came up with The 40 Year Old Virgin. Steve said he had that based on an improvisation he did at Second City. He said there's a scene where they're playing cards and his character has no frame of reference. He said that's the scene that he pitched to Judd. Howard said most people you'd pitch that to would just say it's not a movie. He said they didn't even have the name ''40 Year Old Virgin.'' Steve said Judd told him that he could sell that idea the next day to the studio. He said that he had done Cable Guy with Jim and he had done Freaks and Geeks too. Howard said he didn't have big success yet though. Steve said he really didn't.
Steve said he was nobody at the time and Judd went out and got the idea sold. He said they wrote it over the summer. Steve said they got some money to do that and it wasn't a lot. He said they gave it a shot though. Howard said that he got some seed money. Steve said they wrote it over a couple of months and it was great working with Judd. Howard asked how that process works. Steve said that they would get together and make cards of different scenes. He said he wrote longhand himself. Howard said that he'd think that saving that would be great. Steve said he never thought to save them. He said it would have been great to save them though. He said Judd was the one who kept on it and he was the reason for the success. He said that it was incredible to write with the guy. Steve said he had fallen behind and Judd called him and told him to get his ass in gear.
Steve said he thought of a Pretty Woman makeover scene in the movie. He said he thought about getting his chest waxed. He said he told Judd it really had to happen. Steve said he would have the three guys watching it and being horrified. He said that could potentially be really funny. Howard said he read he really had that waxing done. Howard said he's a pretty hairy guy too. Steve said that was very painful. He said the women on set asked if he wanted to trim it down or have some Advil. Steve said the woman who played the waxing tech had only done it on her boyfriend once. Howard said they only had one shot at it too. Steve said they had like 5 cameras on it. He said that they told him to just do it saw long as he could. Steve said that she had made a face on his chest with the waxing and Rudd called it the Man-O-Lantern. He said that lasted quite a while on his chest too.
Howard said Paul Rudd is another improv guy and he's really good. Steve said he really is. Howard said they figured that 40 Year Old Virgin was going to be big and they renewed The Office for another season. The show did very well after that. Steve said that Kevin Riley saved the show at NBC. Howard said he knows Kevin and he sees him all the time. He said that now he knows why they think he's so smart.
Howard said everyone got into The Office and his salary went through the roof. Steve said he doesn't like talking about money. Howard said he must have enough money after 40 Year Old Virgin that he doesn't have to work. Steve said he didn't have any clout at the time so he didn't make what Howard thinks he did. He said that it was pretty much a flat salary. He said just being able to do it was big. Howard asked if he's bitter about that. Steve said he doesn't think he was. He said he can't be bitter. Steve said it wouldn't have happened without Judd. Howard said he should have been 50/50 in there. Steve said he was low man on the totem pole. He said he's not bitter about it.
Howard asked if his life changes in a second when the movie does so well. He said it was crazy box office numbers. Steve said it was over $100 million. He said it was really cheap to make too. Howard said he read that he's one of the top 5 money makers in movies. Steve laughed when Howard read off the names of the people on the list. Howard said it's not Brad Pitt, it's Steve Carell. Steve said he's not good with that stuff.
Howard asked if Jon Stewart is bummed he didn't back him in this stuff. Steve said Jon has been really kind to him. He said when he left The Daily Show Jon told him he could come back anytime if he needed to. Steve said he was great.
Howard asked if his life changed when the movie and The Office did so well. Steve said that it did. He said he was called in to do Get Smart and he went in as if it was an audition. He said it turns out they just wanted him. He said that they didn't want him to audition. He said they wanted him to play Maxwell Smart and it was done. He said he didn't have to audition. He said that was a huge, weird moment for him. Howard said he must have had approval over the script and actors and stuff. Steve said they asked him who he wanted as a director and he had no idea.
Howard said his wife must have thought it was amazing. Steve said they'd be watching TV and see a commercial for a movie he was in and it was crazy. He said they wondered how they got there. Howard said Get Smart did $200 million. Howard asked why they didn't do a sequel. Steve said they did write something but it wasn't ready yet. He said it just hasn't come back around yet.
Howard said he admired Steve for staying with The Office after he had a hit movie. Howard said he stuck with it and NBC raised his salary up. Howard said he must have been under a long term contract. Steve said they renegotiated after 2 years. Howard said he was making $300,000 per episode. Howard said there are so many actors who are so talented. He said that it's fantastic to see someone make a ton of money like that. He said that Steve was the reason these things were happening. He said he should open up and enjoy. Steve said okay.
Howard asked Steve what he's worth. Steve said millions. Howard asked if it's $100 million. Steve said he doesn't think so but maybe. Howard said it's a great thing to be in that position. He said he didn't have to do anything shitty anymore. He said he can go out and buy anything he wants. Howard said he imagines he lives a humble existence. Steve said he lives in the valley. Howard asked what that is. Howard said he imagines he has roommates. Steve said the valley of Los Angeles is where he lives. He said they have a very nice house but it's not real pretentious. He said he does have a Porsche though. He said that he had such a problem buying this car. He said it's such a midlife crisis car. He said his wife told him to just do it if he wanted to. He said she told him not to complain about it and just enjoy it. Howard said he should hide it within a Volvo.
Howard asked where that shame comes from. Steve said it must be upbringing. Howard asked if he worries that it'll all go away. Steve said he does for sure. He said it's fun doing what he's doing. He said if it ended immediately he's had way more than his share of luck. Howard asked if he will watch his own movies on TV. Steve said he doesn't like watching himself. He said he's in his skin all day so he doesn't need to see that.
Howard asked if he helps his parents out. Steve said he bought his parents a house in Florida. He said they accepted that a little more easily than he thought they would. He said that they still have their house in Massachusetts though.
Howard asked if his brothers ever come to him for money. Steve said they never do but if they needed it he would be there for them. He said he thinks his brothers are shocked that he has this success. He said he doesn't think they ever expected him to do what he's doing.
Howard got to the Anchorman 2 promotion and asked if he likes it. Steve said it turned out really good. He said that it's all just dumb fun. Howard said he read that Will based his character on a guy from Detroit. Howard said his name was Mort Crim. Howard said that he remembers that guy because he was in Detroit back when the guy was around and he remembers the big billboard of him and how it said ''Mort'' in big letters. He said that it was right near the border of Canada and Mort means death in French so they wondered what the hell was going on there.
Howard said a lot of those news guys don't know a fucking thing about the news. They just know how to read. Steve said that they enter the 24 hour news cycle in this movie. Howard said the whole cast is back too. Christina Applegate, Vince Vaughn and others are back. Steve said there are a bunch of great cameos in the movie.
Steve said that he is curious about how the movie will do this weekend. Howard asked if he's in constant contact with Will. Steve said they're not but Will is very busy with the promotion. Howard asked if they will call and congratulate each other. Steve said they decided they want to have a big party with Hall & Oates to do a concert for them. He said it's either them or Seals and Crofts.
Howard said he read that Miley Cyrus was saying that Steve gives her the stank eye in the neighborhood when she's driving around. Steve said he doesn't remember ever doing that to her.
Howard said that Steve has kids and they don't have a TV. Howard said he had to have TV as a kid. He said he anted his kids to watch TV with him but now they don't even have a TV at all.
Howard asked Steve what a cathode ray tube is. Steve said he has no idea. He said it was the tube they used in TVs back in the day. He said he guesses his uncle did okay with that back then. He said he was just part of the team back in the day.
Howard said Steve was going to do a movie with James Gandolfini before he died. Steve said they were in the process and they had the outline for a story. He said he had met with Gandolfini. He said he did a movie with him and they were going to write this one. He said he did Burt Wonderstone with Gandolfini. Steve said he's not sure how it all came about though. Steve said he was a great guy. Howard asked how they come up with a deal. Steve said they pitched this thing to HBO and he's not sure how it all came together but James was interested in doing it.
Howard asked Steve if he was at the funeral. Steve said he was. He said he wasn't really close to the guy but he knew him. He said he and his wife don't have a lot of show business friends. They don't do a lot of show business type parties and things either. Robin asked who he sat next to. Steve said he was near Steve Buscemi. Howard said he finds him to be a very odd guy but he loves him in Boardwalk Empire.
Gary came in and told Howard Steve has to go. He has to go do Kelly and Michael. Howard said he can't wait to see this movie Anchorman 2. Howard said he loves dumb movies like that. Howard asked why they didn't do it in 3D. Steve said they missed something there. He said maybe if there's a third one they'll have to do that. Howard said it was very nice having him on the show. They wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked Gary who got into the rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Gary read the list which included Peter Gabriel, KISS, Cat Stevens, Hall & Oates, Nirvana, Linda Ronstadt and the manager of the Rolling Stones.
Howard said he has to get Daryl Hall back in there. He said he was on and then 4 years later he came back in on the exact same date. Howard said that Daryl was mad about not being in the Hall of Fame. Howard said this old clip is kind of interesting to listen to. Howard played a clip from an interview with Daryl where he was complaining about being left out of the Hall of Fame but he claimed he didn't care. Howard had asked him what he would do if they inducted him. Daryl said he might say yes and not show up.
Gary said the E Street Band got in as a side band too. Howard said that Bruce was inducted. Gary said not as a band though. He said that the side bands can get in now. Gary said that they are inducting the side bands now. He said that Little Steven is probably happy about that.
Howard said Little Steven is like the Blues Brothers. He's trying to get the old rock and rollers back together.
Howard said that Steve Carell was a fun interview. He said he loved the first Anchorman when Will's character has a big boner when he's trying to pick up Christina Applegate. He said that he claims they're just pleated pants. Howard said it's so funny. Howard said boner material is always good.
Howard said when he sees movies he thinks about doing another one but then he thinks about the horror of writing one. Howard said that it can take years to make it. Howard said there's all that time writing the book and then the script. He said he's too much of a perfectionist when it comes to doing that stuff.
Howard said he had a meeting with that director Sam Raimi years ago. Howard said he sat down to talk about what they could write together. Howard said he would have liked to have done it but he had so little free time. He said he was in the middle of his battle with the FCC and raising his kids. Howard said he had to say no. He said he wonders what that would have been like. Howard said it can be very labor intensive racking your brains over a movie. Howard said he thought it was interesting how Steve came up with 40 Year Old Virgin. Howard said that it was Judd who said he could sell it and made it happen. He said those are some crazy stories.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she was the first girl winner of the birthday show tickets. She said she's getting backlash from it. She said that her first call to the show was back when the Unknown Comic was on. Howard said she's about to lose her tickets. She said that she knows he won't do that to her. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard wondered if he can take tickets back if someone is annoying on the phone. He said there must be a way to do that.
Howard played a clip of Fred the Elephant Boy saying what he wants for Christmas. He'd like to go to the birthday show with his girlfriend. Howard said he thought she would have broken up with him when he shit all over his own legs. Ass Napkin Ed wants tickets and a case of wine. Howard said he hopes the Wack Pack is represented at the party. Fred said they should have one at least. Howard said maybe they'll have 3 come in and JD will pick one to go to the party.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Fred how he was in high school and where he graduated. Howard said Fred was the coolest. Fred said he was so not in the cool group. Howard said he had to be with that personality. Fred said he wasn't good with the girls. Howard said Fred was one of those kids who brought a gun to school every day. He was joking about that of course.
Fred said he did okay in high school. He said he wasn't on the top or the bottom tier. He said he was right in the middle. Howard said he aspires to the middle tier.
The caller asked if he was a loner. Fred said he had friends. Robin wondered where they are now. Fred said one became born again.
Howard said there was a Victoria's Secret model who came up with a word during a special recently. She said ''Twegret'' which is tweeting something out and regretting it. Howard said he hopes this word does not catch on. He said it can't happen. Howard said we can't let this girl get away with that. Howard said there is no way she thought of that word though.
Howard said he has a couple of Baba Booey shout outs. Howard said an NHL coach let one out during a press conference. Howard played the clip and the coach was talking about a game they played and how they had fumbled around. He said they had just Baba Booey'd it at the blue line a couple of times. Howard said that's become a thing.
Howard played another clip from a BBC News Night show. They were talking about religion and Scientology. One of the people on the show just threw it into his explanation. Howard said Robin loves that. Robin said yeah. Howard said you have to hear this clip. He said it's an anchorman in Kansas and then you hear the guy saying ''Lets get the fuck out of here.''
Howard said you know that's how those guys feel. Howard said that they don't really care about doing the news. He said their real voice comes out and they're just annoyed. Howard said that's the real guy.
Howard said Tom Brady said ''shit'' during a press conference. Howard played that clip where Tom said they had some shitty plays during their game against the Dolphins.
Howard said he has a Pat Robertson clip to play too. Howard said he has to get to this and then the news. He said he has a lot of meetings today so he has to get to the news on time.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said that was a pretty good interview with Steve. Howard said that's a big compliment coming from Jeff who has 3 whole channels on his TV. Jeff said he has 8. Howard said he's competing with that so it's good news.
Jeff thanked Howard for having him on the show. He said he liked it. Howard said a lot of people liked it. Jeff said his gig fell through. Only 40 people showed up. Howard said that sounds huge. Howard said he was appearing at a bar up near where he lives. Jeff said there was a snow storm. Howard said if there was no snow they would have 45 at least. Jeff said he thinks it would have been a couple hundred.
Jeff asked if he can help him out at all. Howard said he can't. He said he's tapped out. Howard said that it gets fatiguing when every caller asks for something. Howard said they were having a nice conversation and then he asks for something. Howard said he feels like he's being used. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said they were talking about the fake interpreter from the Mandela funeral. Robin said that they were saying that he may have been involved in the torching of a man. Robin said it turns out that is true. Robin said they killed two men doing this thing where they put tires around you and light them on fire. Robin said he got off of those charges because he was mentally unfit to stand trial. Robin said now he's pretending to be an interpreter. Robin said he still thinks he's qualified for the job.
Howard said they got tons of email about Psych and Eli fighting over their songs about Robin. Howard said that her tits cause such hostility. Howard said they're fighting over her. Howard read some of the email he got about them. Howard said that some people were turned off by Eli's personality. Some liked Eli and didn't like Psych.
Robin asked if they got the sound of Michael Jackson's youngest son Blanket. Robin said the family is doing a documentary about what he meant to them and Blanket said some things. JD came in and told Howard he had the clip. It was number 27 on the list. Howard said he came in there with such a swagger. JD said he had just given it to Scott and he wondered what happened.
Howard said he's going to title him King of All Spoons. JD yelled ''No!'' as he was leaving. Howard played the clip and the kid sounded like he was very young. Howard said he has to cut the kid some slack. Robin said he was 7 in 2009. Howard said he has to do the math to figure out how old he is now. He did some very confusing math and came up with 11. Robin said that's right. Howard said he's ready to attend Harvard now. He said there must be an easier way to get there.
JD came back and said that Catherine Jackson is producing the special. Robin said that's the story she's reading. JD said he'll leave them. Robin said that she doesn't have enough money to finish the documentary. Robin said they didn't realize how much it was going to cost. Now they're asking for contributions. Howard said she's carrying on like they're broke. He said they control that whole empire. Robin said they actually don't. She said they get a salary but they don't get any of Michael's money. Robin said that the kids will get that. Robin said they're all on an allowance right now. Robin said the family says it'll cost another $3.2 million to make this thing.
Robin had some audio of Beyonce's ''Partition'' song and had Howard play that. Howard said it's about her giving a BJ in the back of a limo. Robin had some of Beyonce's other songs and Howard said they sound like part of a Broadway play. He said he doesn't get pop music. Howard played a few quick clips from the new album.
Robin read a story about Megyn Kelly and the trouble she got into about her demands that Santa is white. Howard said it's make believe so it doesn't matter what color he is. Robin said there was a teacher who did something similar demanding that Santa was white. The teacher is now on administrative leave. Howard said he'd love to see a Million Black Santa March just to piss everyone off.
Robin read a story about a federal judge ruling on the NSA collecting data on citizens and how it appears to violate the 4th amendment.
Howard said when he told Sal that Santa might be black he boarded up his fireplace. Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said a couple was car jacked at a mall in their Range Rover. Howard said he read that. It was a tragic story. Howard said that the couple was shopping at an upscale mall. King said he thinks that means no blacks. Howard said there are black people there. Howard said these guys travel in a team and they drive around in a parking lot and put a gun to the guy's head. Howard said they car jack. Howard said they were both lawyers and hard working people. Howard said their hands were filled with Christmas gifts. Robin said they had filled the car with packages. Robin said the guy walked around to the driver side of the car and that's when he was attacked. Howard said when the car jacker came over the guy flipped the guy and refused to give him his car. The car jacker ended up shooting the guy and then demanded the wife get out of the car. They ended up killing the guy. Howard said they have to find these fucks. Robin said they found the car abandoned. Howard said he really died for nothing because they didn't even keep the car. Howard said it's such a stupid fucking crime. Howard said the guy should have just handed over the keys. Robin said there was no reason to shoot the guy. Howard said he did fight back. Robin said it panicked them.
King said he can't fault the guy but he thinks that if he wasn't with his wife he would have given his keys up and given them the car. He said it's something men have to do when they have their wife around. He said now he's dead and she's going to be with some other guy in a year. Howard said the guy is super brave. Howard said King is right that you don't want to look like a fucking asshole. Howard said he doesn't think the guy would have acted any differently if she wasn't there. Howard said no guy wants to act like a pussy around a woman. King said look what it got him.
king asked Howard if he died, how long would it take for Beth to have sex. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he doesn't want to think about that. Howard said King brings that up every time. He said he thinks Beth should fuck the first guy she sees. King said he doesn't think that. Howard said he does. Howard said an hour after she should be getting oral and a candy cane up her ass.
King said Howard doesn't think he's ever going to die. Howard said that's just not true. Howard asked King how long he thinks his wife should wait. King said she should never be with anyone. Howard let him go after that. Howard said he's going to say Beth should wait a year. He did a live commercial read a short time later.
Robin read about how George Zimmerman is selling art on eBay now. Robin said that one piece is selling for close to $10,000.
Robin read about the car chases that happen in Los Angeles on TV. Robin said on KTLA they showed a police shooting live on the air. Robin had a clip of that. Howard said they ended up apologizing for that. Howard said he has seen that happen. Robin played a clip of the reporters talking about the crash as it happened. The cops shot a suspect who was running from them in a Corvette. Howard said they cut away after the guy was shot. Howard said he's not sure why they do that. Howard said that's what we're waiting for. Robin said they're not sure what caused the gunfire. Robin said the chase went on for like an hour. She said there's a big investigation going on about the shooting. Howard said when he watches those chases that's what he's hoping for.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that the scary thing about that car jacking is that the Short Hills Mall is a really nice mall. He also asked if he's punishing Fred for ruining Homeland. Fred said he was just doing his job. He thanked him for waking up on time. They already talked about that. Ralph told him he should wait 24 hours before talking about a show like that.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he had to apologize for what happened earlier. He wanted to wish everyone a very merry Christmas too. Howard let him do that. Howard said they gave Jeff some porn when he was there and now he's trying to sell it on eBay. Jeff brought up something about a tux that someone wanted to give to JD but Howard cut him off and said he had to go.
Robin read a story about the FDA asking hand sanitizer companies to prove that their ingredients aren't harmful. Howard said he uses Purell and almost bathes in it. Robin had a clip of someone talking about how they're not sure that they stop the spread of infections. Robin said the FDA is proposing rules for the companies to show their products are safe for long term use. Robin had another clip of someone talking about what they put in that stuff that they don't know much about. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about the Megamillions jackpot being up around $586 million. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how the sales are brisk for the tickets right now. Howard said he doesn't want to see anyone but him win that. The woman also said that you have to make sure you sign the back of your ticket to make sure it's yours.
Howard said he heard a story about the actress Ashley Judd filing a court document that says that her sister Wynona is spying on her. Howard wondered what that is. Robin said that they decided not to talk about that. Robin said that Wynona was actually spying on one of her kids who had access to her car. Howard said spying on Ashley Judd seems really boring. He said it's such a bizarre story.
Robin said that Howard has said that the best way to kill your spouse is to push them off a cliff. Howard said if you really want to do that you plan a trip... and please don't do this... but you plan to push them off a cliff. Howard said it seems like a logical thing. Robin said this woman didn't get away with it. Robin said she changed her story in the middle of the trial. She pleaded guilty when she was being questioned. Robin said you have to get your story straight before you give any testimony. Robin said that she claimed that she didn't even know where her husband was. Then he was found dead. Robin had some audio of the woman talking about what she claimed had happened. Robin said she will be sentenced in March.
Howard said Benjy told him that he thought he had the body of a 20 year old and that he's hot. Howard said he thought he was being complimentary but then this morning he had rose petals leading up to his chair this morning. He said Fred was tied up in his chair when he came in too.
Robin read a story about Chris Brown and how he's been found guilty of violating his probation. Howard played the clip Robin had but it was very hard to hear. Howard said they need better microphones in that court room. Robin said they found that he had not followed all the laws. Robin said he wasn't taken into custody but he could end up in jail early next year. Fred and Howard kept playing Ronnie clips and Robin was saying that they make her sick when she hears them.
Robin had some audio of some people talking about what they would do if they won the lottery. Robin had a clip of someone talking about how hard it is to win.
Robin read about some of the big stories that happened in 2013. Robin read about Angelina Jolie getting a double mastectomy. She had some other celebrity stories that she went through with audio clips. The Boston Bombing, Paula Deen's controversy and other stories were in the list. They spent a minute talking about Paula Deen and her not-so-sexy voice. Robin said Alec Baldwin was in the news a lot this year too. Robin had some clips of him yelling at some reporters. They went over a little more and then Howard ended the show. They were done around 10:15am.
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Gary said years ago he didn't understand social media. He said he loves Survivor and he had seen the finale of the show and he congratulated the winner. He said a ton of people on the West Coast were pissed that he spoiled it for them.
Jon said he gets very upset about spoilers. He said his issue with Homeland was that they had a big full page story about it in the Daily News. He said if you didn't see it then it would have ruined it for you. Gary said he thinks people are able to watch it faster than they used to be able to. He said he should adjust his list based on that.
Jon brought up the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame discussion Howard had and Gary was happy that Hall & Oates got in. Jon said he got Rush last year and Gary got Hall & Oates this year. Gary said he thinks they should all be in the hall of fame. Gary said everyone who has been on the Howard Stern Show should be in that Hall of Fame.
Jon said that he thinks Sal is thrilled that KISS is in. He said that he thinks that's fine. He's not upset about it. Gary said he never gets that upset if someone gets in that he doesn't get. He said that he
Jon said that Fred was talking about his high school years and asked Gary if he knows anything about those years. Gary said he has no idea. He said he has no ability to answer in any way.
Gary asked if he was part of the Ambiguously Gay Duo. He missed that discussion. Jon and Benjy told Howard tat Steve and Stephen were the voices of the characters in that cartoon. Gary said he loved that cartoon.
Jon said they talked about Steve and Judd Apatow doing the 40 Year Old Virgin movie and how Judd stayed on top of Steve to get him to do it. Jon said that Judd had to push him to do it. Gary said that's like Howard pushing JD to do things too. Benjy said that JD might not be that good at structure but if he had some then maybe he'd do better.
Jon asked if they think JD would finish something if they stayed on him about it. Gary said JD would be annoyed. He said that he walked by JD and said good morning to him. He said he had to prod him to acknowledge him this morning. He said he just grunted at him when he said good morning.
Benjy said he thinks that they could get him to do a script. Jon said they'll get him down there to talk about that. Jon said that Steve went from being a TV star to a movie star and that's not an easy thing to do. He said that Steve took The Office and turned it into a big thing. Gary said that he didn't watch the show that much but it seemed like it kind of plummeted after Steve left it. Jon said he thought the final season of the show was better but it did take a hit when Steve left. He said that he didn't do a knock off of Ricky Gervais' character. He said he's an all around impressive guy.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he watched the David Letterman show the other night and he has to agree with Dave being upset with him hanging out with Brad Grey. He said Howard has become a warlock and he's all about productivity and he doesn't give a shit about his fans anymore. He said they don't fight with him or argue with him anymore. Gary said they fight with him all the time. He said that they grow up and become an adult and become friendly with people.
Benjy said he thinks that he's serious but partly kidding around. He said he's not sure why he cares who Howard is friends with. He said it doesn't affect him at all. Gary asked how it affects him. The caller said that Howard has never forgiven anyone who has been detrimental to his career. He said he doesn't get why he goes on AGT. He said he's waiting for him to drop his pants and drop a load on the desk.
Gary said the people at NBC that Howard hated are all gone or dead. He said that it's changed ownership so many times. He said that it's not the same company it was when Howard left NBC in the 80s. The caller said that he doesn't appreciate what they did to Howard. He said he's been listening for 25 years and he can't believe that he's letting them get the better of him. He said he just wanted to sound off. Jon let him go and went to break a short time later.
Jason said that Benjy had on pink boxer briefs this morning. They spent a minute on that and how Benjy has been complimenting Howard lately. Then Ronnie showed up.
Jon and Gary talked to Ronnie about those creepy sex tips that Howard played this morning. Ronnie said Sal and Richard asked him to do that for Christmas. Jon asked if he's ever done that Eggnog thing. Ronnie said he hasn't. He said he just made it up out of his head. He said he just gave them some cool shit.
Jon said that Ronnie sounded like he was very into those tips. Ronnie said he just made them up. Gary said that most of these things are against her will and he thinks that she's going to love you for doing them. Jon asked if any of them are based on reality. Ronnie said not really. He said he's not going to get into that stuff. The guys asked Ronnie what the strangest thing is that he's put in a woman. Ronnie said ''nothing.''
Jon took a call from a woman who said that people don't have vanilla sex all the time. She said if you're clean you can do that crazy stuff. She said that she has a man who is like Ronnie. She said she's going to get some candy canes and try that sex tip Ronnie talked about. She said that it would be fun to do it with a blow job. Ronnie said there's nothing wrong with that. Benjy said he looked it up and found that peppermint can act like Viagra in a way. Gary said that one of the staff members got a blow job with Altoids. Ronnie said he's been there. He said it's cool. It tingles. Jason said he's done that too. Ronnie said it kind of numbs you up like Novocaine.
Jason said that he'll make this less disgusting by talking about his sex life. Ronnie told him to hold on. He said that if you put a candy cane in the right way then you're knocking on the top door with the candy. Gary said they have to stop this now. He said the Playboy channel is down the hall. He said that they might be getting off but they have to move on.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to say that Howard has changed but we've all changed. He said Howard is just brilliant now. He said he's mellow and he's just as funny. He said he's an even better interviewer. He said he loves this Howard. Gary said he uses this word ''evolved'' a lot. He said some people don't like change. He said that people do change though. Jason said that whenever they make a change people hate it. He said people hated Artie when he came in but then they loved him and now they want him back. Jason said he's listened to Howard almost his entire life. He said if he was doing the same thing he was doing in 1986 then he's not sure it would go over that well today. The caller agreed. He said that he's so much more interesting. Jon went to break after that.
Jon said JD was in and they were talking about Steve Carell and coming up with the idea for 40 Year Old Virgin. He said that Judd Apatow stayed on him to write the movie and it ended up being a big success. He asked JD if he thinks that he could do that if he had someone to push him to write something. JD said he doesn't know. He said he's not in that position. He said if he had someone maybe. Gary asked if he could come up with an idea or does he have one. JD said he has some ideas for some shorts. Benjy asked if he could do it if Howard told him he had 3 months to come up with it. Benjy said he thinks he could do it. JD said he likes to think he would. He said he has only written one thing fully. He said that took forever though. He said it's not good. He said he showed it to a guy at Dimension films and he gave him some notes on it.
Gary asked JD if he could devote an hour a night to a script. JD said he thinks about it all the time. He said for some reason he can't get it finished in his head so he can't put anything out. He said it's an inner struggle he has. Benjy said that might be him hesitating a thought and getting those things out like a script.
Jon said half the battle is coming up with an idea. He said the other is getting it done. He said he doesn't think he has the incentive to get it done. Benjy said he disagrees.
JD said he doesn't want to do anything unless he knows for sure it's good. He said he had a TV Production teacher who said that they would never write, produce or direct crap.
Gary said Kurt Sutter said that you should be writing every day just to get better. He said that's how you get things going. Jason said that would be like a stand up comic never going on stage until he has an hour of material written. JD said that he has started stuff and not finished it.
Gary asked JD about what his weekends are like. JD said he does absolutely nothing. He said there is some jerking off as Ronnie is motioning. He said he's obsessed with his DVR and the stuff he wants to watch. He said he just finished Boardwalk Empire and he wants to watch Homeland. He said he can only watch 3 or 4 episodes at a time. Jason said JD has Xbox One and he can see what he does through his system. He said he can see how much TV he watches. JD said he might have to disconnect him from that.
Benjy asked if JD has taken a screen writing class. JD said he doesn't want to go to school. Benjy said he thinks that would help him get moving on it. JD said it might but he doesn't want homework. Gary said he's so torn by JD. He said there's a part of him that wants to give him that push. He said he should maybe watch two Boardwalk Empires and write for the other hour. JD said he knows. He said that's the kind of stuff that swirls around in his head.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was a film producer in L.A. for 12 years. He said that JD has to review the notes he got on his script and work on that. He said that having someone from a film company give you notes is a big deal. JD said he knows he has this opportunity. He said he doesn't want to mess anything up with it. Gary asked what he's going to mess up. JD said he doesn't know but something could get screwed up. JD said that Grillo wanted to be an actor. He said he doesn't want to be like him. He said he's trying not to fall into that realm. Gary said if he doesn't try then nothing will happen. Jason said he can't let other people's failures affect him.
Benjy said that the perfectionism thing makes you think that it might not be great. The caller said that he put out his own DVD and sold over 65,000 copies. Jon asked if he wanted $500 cash and a Ninja Ultima blender. The guy said that he'd love that. Jon gave him the prize and put him on hold.
Jon took a call from Ralph who said he could use that 500 bucks. Ralph said he likes JD but this is a ridiculous conversation. He said he would make an awful director. He said JD can't even speak. He said the first thing he would do if he really wanted to direct is take a class to learn how to get his thoughts in line. JD said he has thought about that.
Benjy asked Ralph how many things he's gotten involved with that he didn't finish. Gary told Benjy the show has to end by 12 so they don't have time for that. Gary said JD has the passion to write too. Ralph said that he's good at. He said that when you talk to JD on Twitter he's like a different person. Benjy said maybe he could direct via Tweet.
JD said he did do some videos for Artie that ended up online. Jason asked if he wants to do anything for the web site. JD said they'd have to talk about that off the air. The guys saw John Leguizamo walk by. Gary said he's mad at him because he saw him interviewed at a baseball game once and John said he didn't want to ''Baba Booey it'' when he threw out a pitch.
Jon had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa ran down some things that they had coming up. She had a story about choking on food and mentioned that Doug Goodstein once choked on food. Ronnie said that anyone can choke on food. It's not just old people.
JD said that he choked once and he was in like 7th or 8th grade. He said that he tried to keep it under wraps and ended up trying to give himself the Heimlich. He said that the teacher wondered what the hell was going on. JD said that the food did pop out. Gary said JD just said that he was choking to death and he wanted to keep it under wraps. JD said there was a cute girl in the class that he didn't want to see that.
Lisa ran down some more stories and they ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:05am.
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Howard started the show talking about how he wanted to get right to it. Howard said he really wishes he had another shot at the Rob Zombie song he uses for his opening music.
Howard asked if Robin got her gift yet. Robin said she doesn't think so. Howard said he thought it was clear that he wanted her to have it before they went on vacation. Howard said things are out of control. Robin said her instructions get garbled too. Howard said he's a little distracted now. He said things just got complicated.
Howard said CNBC plays music during the breaks like all of the news channels are doing now. Howard said on CNBC they went to commercial and they had this song playing. Howard played the clip and it was a rap song where they used the N-word. Howard said it was probably some intern they asked to pick a cool song. Howard said the kid probably said it wasn't the N-word, it was ''niggas.'' Howard replayed the clip and said he loves it. Howard said there's an apology too. He said it's too quick for the offense though. Howard played that clip and they said they were sorry for playing the song with inappropriate lyrics and for any offense it caused.
Howard said no one knew what she was talking about. Robin said they probably got a bunch of calls from people saying they were glad they were finally calling the blacks the N-word. She said she wishes she would have been the one taking the phone calls.
Howard said they're the only ones catching this stuff and playing it. Howard said that's the clip of the week. Robin said it should be clip of the year. Howard played it again. Howard said they got the N-word in twice. He said they probably fired the person who put that song on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's loving them all year round. He said he needs some advice. Howard said he came to the right place. Howard asked who's together more than him. The caller said Howard is the king of everything. Howard said he is the king of life. The caller said he hooked up with a girl a few weeks ago and she gave him the most amazing blow job he's ever had. He said he slept with her and wore a condom. He said the next morning she tells him she has herpes. He said he wants to see her again but he'll have to reciprocate with the oral. He said he's afraid of contracting the herpes virus.
Howard said he has a germ phobia so he'd be afraid of that. Howard said a lot of people have it and don't even know it. He said that you can have an open sore on your dick or your vagine. Howard asked if she's good with her hands. The caller, Lou, said that she is very touchy but he's not into the hand job thing. Howard said this guy sounds like he's 11 years old. Lou said he's actually 33.
Howard said he's probably the worst guy to talk to about this. Howard asked if he's in love with her. Lou said he's not. Howard told him to just move on. Howard said if she has herpes 1 then he is risking a chance of getting herpes on his cock. Howard said he might want to get out of there. Howard said some guys think they can't get an STD from oral but you can. The caller said that a guy at planned parenthood told him it can't be transferred from mouth to genitals. Howard said of course you can.
Howard asked Benjy if he'd use a condom or get out of there. Benjy said that he would ask why do it if he isn't going to stick around for the long term. Howard said he's not sure why he'd risk it for a random hook up. Lou said she's a good lover. He said she's in the top 2 of the lovers he's had. Howard said maybe he is interested in her then. Howard said he's acting all tough but he's obviously feeling something for her. Howard said you have to feel something for her if the sex is that great. Howard said if you're turned off to someone then the sex won't be great.
Lou said they can connect on the same level. Howard said he's lying to himself. Howard said he might be asking the wrong guy about this stuff. Robin said they do say that this can be contracted in any contact. She said any hole is a suspect. Howard said he's going to write a song called ''Any Hole is a Suspect.''
Benjy asked how old this girl is. Lou said she's about his age. Benjy told him to date her for a while without having sex. Lou said she's very sexual.
Howard asked how Lou is in science. Lou said he's not that good. Howard said he should find a cure for herpes. Howard said if he's that motivated he should work on that. He said he's really not sure what to tell him. He said he's afraid of everything.
Robin asked if Howard vetted every girl he was with. Howard said hell no. He said he didn't even ask. Howard said when he was in college no one wore a condom. He said the girls were all on the pill. Howard said he had no idea what was going to happen back then. He said he was fucking and not wearing a condom. He said he did when a girl wasn't on the pill.
Lou said that this girl told him to put a condom on because she had herpes. Lou said he hasn't been able to have sex with her since. He said his dick just goes limp. Howard said he should be okay with a condom on. Fred said there's still a risk.
Lou said that you can get it from any contact from that area. He said there's no way to test for it either. Howard said of course there is. Howard said that he's going to the wrong place. Howard said he's like the king of false information. Robin said he's 30 something too. Howard asked where he's been living. Howard asked what else he doesn't know.
Lou asked if he can play a game for birthday show tickets. Howard asked if he thinks that Santa is real. Lou said yes.
Howard said he'll play a game with him. Howard said that today is the last day to enter the sweepstakes to win tickets. Howard said that ends at noon today. He said please enter if you want to try and win. Howard said that you enter at SiriusXM.com or HowardStern.com.
Howard said he saw a big meeting going on about the food for the event. Howard said it's going to be some spectacular night. Howard said they also have another way to win. He said it'll cost you some money. He said Beth is doing this AnimalLeague.org auction. Howard said that ends on December 26th.
Howard said there is one other way to win tickets. Howard said you have to cure herpes. Howard said this guy needs his blow job very badly. Howard said they also have more ways to win on HowardStern.com.
Howard said he doesn't have an answer for Lou on the herpes thing. Benjy said he should get tested. He said if he already has it then he doesn't have to worry. Howard wondered if you can get more herpes if he already has it. Benjy said you can but he won't worry about it if he already has one kind.
Howard wondered if a couple can give each other more herpes. Benjy and Robin said they can. Robin said that if they have genital herpes it might not show up on the face. Howard wondered if they can get more genital herpes. Robin said she's not sure about that. She said she's not sure if there are different strains of that. Howard told Lou to just go talk to a doctor. Lou said he has been to a clinic. Howard said it sounds like they're giving him the wrong information there. Lou said they told him the results can be 50 percent false. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he just wants to see if he can win a pair of tickets.
Howard said he has a game of some kind there. Howard asked Robin what game they should play. Howard said they exhausted the weight game. Howard said he has a general knowledge game with High Pitch Eric. Robin was okay with that.
Howard went into his game show host voice and Fred played some game show music. Howard said his computer is so fucked up he can't get to the game page. Howard said the thing moves on its own. Howard got to the game and said he'll do a practice question first. They asked Eric which ocean the state of Hawaii is located in. Lou knew it was Pacific. Howard asked if he thinks Eric will know it. Lou said he thinks Eric will know it. Howard played Eric's answer and it was ''Atlantic ocean.''
Howard said that the next question is for the whole enchilada. Howard said that Eric is a planned parenthood guy in this guy's town. He and Fred did their Eric impressions giving Lou advice on his herpes.
Howard said they asked Eric ''Who did President Bush defeated in the 2004 Presidential election?'' Howard tried to figure it out himself. He said he's forgetting. Howard asked Robin if she remembers. Howard said they can't figure it out so how is Eric going to know it? Howard said he can't remember. Robin said it was John Kerry. Howard said he forgot. Lou said this is an easy one. He said Eric does not know. Howard said if he gets this then he has no right to goof on that fat fuck. Howard played Eric's answer which was ''John Kerry.'' Howard and Robin were shocked he knew that. Lou didn't win with that one. Howard said he can think how lucky he is not to have herpes. He said that he may have herpes though but he can't be tested because he's a guy.
Howard said he can't believe he knew that answer. Howard said he pulled that out of his ass like a candy cane. Howard said Lou isn't going to the show. Lou said he's been listening since WCCC. Howard said he'll give him one more chance.
Howard said this is the final chance. He said if he gets this one wrong he has to hang up like a gentleman. Howard said he has to promise. Lou said it's going to be so hard. Howard said he has to. Howard said if he wants a second chance he has to hang up if he gets it wrong. Lou agreed to do that. Howard played the next question which was ''What does DUI stand for?'' Howard said they talk about that all the time in the news. Howard said Eric must know. Howard said he doesn't drive but he knew John Kerry. Fred said he's not sure on this. He said Eric surprised him with his John Kerry answer. Fred said he doesn't think Eric will know that one.
Howard said Fred says he won't know it. Robin said she thinks he does. Howard told him to go with Fred. Howard told him to make sure he hangs up when he loses. Lou said he knew it was going to come down to this. He said he's going to say Eric does not know it. Howard locked him in on the No. Howard said a lot of people go off with Fred and never come back. Howard said this birthday show is going to be an incredible night.
Howard played Eric's answer and Eric said ''Driving Under the Influence.'' Howard said he knows Lou isn't on the phone now. Lou was still there. Lou didn't hang up. Howard said everyone lies to him. Howard told him to listen to him and Robin. Howard said he's a sap and he feels bad for people.
Ronnie came in telling the guy to hang up. He said he's a liar. Howard ended up hanging up on him. Howard said this is why he hates being a game show host. Howard said someone has to lose. He went to break a short time later. He said that was very traumatizing for him.
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Howard said when you get a Christmas card with glitter on it it's horrible. Howard said he's not sure what people are thinking. He said the glitter gets all over the place. Howard said someone sent them a card with glitter that poured out of the envelope so he didn't even open it. Howard said he threw it right in the garbage. Howard said he had to put it in a plastic bag. He said it's like Christmas herpes. Robin wondered why someone would send glitter to someone else. Howard said 2 people have done that so far. Howard said it's bullshit. He said the card makers should be shot.
Howard said Jackie Mason was on the phone. He picked up on that caller and it was the guys in the back playing clips of Jackie Mason.
Howard said Benjy said he sees Jackie Mason on the street. Benjy said he'll see him out at like 1 or 2 in the morning. He said he'll be up and go out to get something to eat and he'll see Jackie out. Benjy said Jackie will ask him if he's one of those homosexuals. He said he's not coming on to him but he must think he is. Benjy said he tells him he's from the Howard Stern show.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who always says hello like he can't believe he connected. Howard said he loves that Hello. Robin said it's like the first hello ever. Hanzi freaked out saying that it's not fair that they do this to him. He said all of these people are getting tickets and they lose the games. Robin said this guy just lost and got hung up on.
Howard said that Hanzi always has a criticism for him. He said he's such a bitter guy. Howard said Lou has been listening since WCCC in Hartford and he can't wait to get there. Howard said Hanzi should like that he's a fan and he gets to enjoy it. Howard said Hanzi is always drawing conspiracies. Howard said there are a lot of fans who have a regular life and want to go to the show. Hanzi said they're trolls.
Robin said Hanzi won't even play because he'll end up losing. Hanzi said he should get to go to the show regardless. Gary asked if he's mad that he didn't call him back fast enough. Hanzi said Gary gives him one word replies. Howard said that's the right thing to do. He doesn't want Gary spending all day with his answers for him.
Howard asked Hanzi how old he is. Hanzi said he's 30. Gary said he's older than that. Hanzi told him to shut his fucking mouth. Howard said he drives him nuts. Howard said maybe the problem is Hanzi. Howard said everything annoys him. He said that he has a huge problem. He said he's at war with the whole world. Howard said he's looking into Hanzi now. Gary told him not to tell him that. He said that just plays into that whole thing.
Howard said Hanzi lives with his parents. He said he really isn't looking into him. He said he knows nothing about him. Gary said he got an 8 or 9 page email about how they control his life and they really don't. Howard said if he has such a great life why would he want to control some guy in Canada who lives with his parents. Howard said he can see trying to control the President but not some troll up in Canada.
Gary said that Hanzi thinks he's controlling a lot of people. Hanzi said Howard has an association with Jay Z and with Obama. Howard said he doesn't know Obama. He said he's never met him. He said he has met Jay Z once. Hanzi asked if he's ever swapped wives with Stacy McMahon. Howard said he's fucked her many times. He said he's actually never met that woman. Gary said she was on the show once.
Hanzi asked how many divas he's fucked. Howard said he thinks like 6 of them. Hanzi asked if he fucked Chyna. Howard said he fucked no one. He said he hasn't fucked any of the Divas. Howard said he really has to go. He hung up on Hanzi in the middle of a sentence. He went to break a short time later.
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Howard read some email about Psych and how great this person thought he was. Fred played the version of ''Can't Find My Way Home'' that Alison Krauss did. Howard asked if she's not. Fred said she's ''pleasant.'' Howard said that's not good. Robin said she's pretty. Then she saw another photo that may not have been so good. Howard said it's never good to be called ''pleasant.'' Fred said that some people say that a woman is handsome and that isn't good either. Robin said she's more than pleasant. Howard sang along to the song a little bit.
Howard said over the next two weeks he'll be checking out his iTunes. Howard said in Fast Times at Ridgemont High Sean Penn says he'll just be kicking back... something. Gary knew the line. Fred said he's looking for the clip.
Howard said he has some email about Benjy's complexion. Howard said someone suggested a product to use on his face. Howard said this stuff is the only FDA approved product for Rosacea. Howard said it looks like zits but more intense. Benjy said it could be that or something else that he couldn't pronounce. Benjy said when he fasts it clears up so it might be diet related.
Fred found a clip from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and played that for Howard. Sean Penn's character talks about surfing and talking about partying. Then he says he's going to wing on over and jam with the Stones after doing some surfing. Howard said that's the one. He said Sean Penn won't bring that character back. He said he's too serious now. Howard said he'd love to see him as an old man now. Howard said you know he'd be living on the street filled with regret.
Howard said they got a lot of love for Steve Carell in the email. He also got a lot of feedback about Ronnie's candy cane sex tip. Howard said this guy wrote GKNLMFAO. He didn't know what that meant. Robin said she knows what LMFAO means. Howard said he's not sure what GKN is. No one knew.
Howard read some mail about Ronnie and his sex tips. A lot of people were saying he's a sick old man. Some people thought it was great to hear those tips and you should keep an open mind. Robin said she can't wait for someone to try one of those tips and they end up calling in from jail.
Howard played the sex tips he was talking about. Ronnie did one where he suggested putting a candy cane in your girl's pussy and then in her asshole. Howard said Ronnie is so dead serious. Howard said he got a note from Jerry Sandusky asking them not to play those things anymore. They're too disgusting for him.
Howard played a song that Ronnie sang about those sex tips. Howard played the other sex tip after that. The second tip was about using mistletoe to get your woman to eat your asshole.
Howard said he's alone in a car with that guy. He did an impression of Ronnie doing the voice he uses in those clips. Fred did that too. Howard said it's enough to make you sick.
Howard played a clip of JD singing what he wants for Christmas. He just wants two Filet-O-Fish and a Coke. Howard said they have some new songs about Robin. He had one from a new guy named Mark something. Howard played that one and the guy sang ''Robin's Most Wonderful Part is Her Rear.'' Howard tried to say the guy's last name a bunch of times but it's not clear what it actually was.
Howard played a song parody that Sal did to the tune of ''Lets Call the Whole Thing Off.'' Howard said he has a big announcement about Sal that he'll do after they come back from vacation. Howard played another Robin song parody that was about her Tatas. That was from Psych.
Howard said the guests on the birthday show are going to be big star names. He said Louis C.K., David Letterman and Jimmy Kimmel will be there.
The caller asked if she can play for tickets. Gary said she can't because they gave away tickets. Howard said he hung up on that guy. Gary said he forgot that. Howard said she can play then.
Howard asked if they should go through the ruse of a game or just give them to her. Robin said the should play a game. Howard said they'll play a Big Foot sex game.
Howard said he was walking through the halls yesterday and Richie Notar is going to be doing the catering for the show. Howard said if you want to join them then you can enter to win. Howard said you can find out the different ways to enter at HowardStern.com. Howard said they have a lot of tickets to give away. He said they will give a bunch to the fans.
Howard said that it's time to play the game with Jess. Howard said he'll give Jess a practice question first. They asked Big Foot what a queef is. Jess said she didn't think he would know. Big Foot said ''Something to do with your nose?'' Howard asked Jess if she can queef. She laughed and said she can't.
Howard said she has to win this. Howard said that they asked Big Foot if he knows what anal sex is. Howard said he thinks he's talked to him about that. Howard said if Jess gets it right she wins. If she gets it wrong she has to leave. Jess said she thinks he knows. Big Foot's answer was ''Anal sex it is... that's fucking somebody up the ass it is.'' Howard said Jess just won.
Howard asked if Jess is handsome or pleasant. Jess said she's very hot. She said she's short but she's 5' and 90 pounds. Howard said that's hot. Howard asked if she looks like Hayden Panettiere. She said she's a brunette so no. She said that she looks like this girl, Kate Mara, who is on House of Cards. Howard said that's pretty hot. Howard put Jess on hold and let her go. Howard said the chick on House of Cards is really hot. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said yesterday someone said to him that Eddie Van Halen can't play anymore but this emailer said that Eddie can still play. He said he saw him at a concert not too long ago and he was great.
Howard said someone bet on a horse named Mambo Man and the horse finished first so he thanked Ronnie for that.
Howard said someone wrote in about the Wack Pack getting tickets to the birthday show and how they get access to many other things. Howard said he sees Mariann at these events and she doesn't even have tickets. Howard said she's very nice to show up. He said the majority of the tickets are for the fans. He said they can't have every Wack Packer there. Howard said people enjoy seeing them. Howard said they have 1500 seats there and some of the seats are for the celebrities. Howard said they have to hold some back.
Howard said he doesn't have any of his own tickets to give away. Robin said she doesn't either. She wants people to know that so they'll leave her alone. Howard said Robin is telling the truth. He said he has been getting letters from famous people to get their cousins in. He said he just can't do it. Howard said he suddenly finds himself in a Ringo position.
Howard asked how Billy Crystal is on the list of highest paid movie stars in 2013. Howard said they say he made $743 million. Howard said Sandra Bullock is at number 5. Howard said Steve Carell is number 3. Howard read some of the other names on the list and at number 17,465 was Ian Ziering for Sharknado.
Howard said they say that 59 rare Beatles tracks are going to be on iTunes. Howard wondered how they can have ''rare'' Beatles songs. Howard said they've released everything on box sets. Howard asked if they've been hiding them in Ronnie's ass.
Howard asked Fred what Beatles songs are rare. Fred said they did some live BBC stuff and maybe that's where it's coming from. He said they might be doing this so the songs don't become public domain.
Howard said that he just got a note about Billy Crystal being in Monsters Inc. Howard said that's where the money came from.
Howard said that they have their holiday party coming up. He said that's the party where he has to avoid talking to Scott the Engineer for 2 hours. Howard said it's always filled with Christmas wonder. He said that he wonders who will make the bigger ass of themselves, Jon Leiberman or Ronnie.
Howard said someone got a hold of Jon Leiberman and Sal and had them do a rap song together. Howard said he has to play that. Howard said the producer is named Scoop DeVille. Howard said he can't listen to more than a few seconds of this song. He said it's horrible. Howard said the song is called Do It Still.
Howard played the song and it was Jon and Sal rapping. Howard said it's the worst thing ever. Robin let out an ''Ugh.''
Sal and Jon came in and told Howard about how this came about. Jon said that he thinks the song is good. He said he has decided to retire from his rap career. Sal said he's a liar. He said Jon wanted to go out and tour with this song. He said that they were working on a Howard TV special and they were going to record a whole CD. Sal said they wanted to open up for 50 Cent or someone like that. Jon said they were having fun and it was a hobby he was working on. Sal said he's so full of shit. Jon said Sal would email him like 5 times a day for a clip. Sal said he had to do the clips over and over because Scoop didn't like what he was doing.
Jon said he is retiring from rap. Sal said he can't retire from something he was never famous for. Sal said he's retiring from nursing. Jon said he will no longer try to perfect that skill. He said he was trying to get back what he had at one point. Robin said he never had it to begin with.
Howard said he heard Jon isn't going to drink at the holiday party this year. Jon said he has reflected on things in the past and he won't be drinking this year. He said he's taking it easy.
Ronnie came in and said Jon says this every year. He said last year they had to drag him off the floor. Howard asked if he's bringing a date. Jon said he is. He has a new girl he's been seeing a couple of months. Howard asked if this is a new love. Jon said she's a very nice woman. Howard asked if he has told her he loves her. Jon said he really likes her a lot. He said he's been seeing her a couple of months so they'll see what happens.
Howard said maybe Ronnie can bring some candy canes for Jon. Howard said he's going to go prepare for his Ben Stiller interview now. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said Ben Stiller is there to promote this new movie ''The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.'' Howard said Ben is in the movie and directed it too. Howard said he was thinking about directing and starring in a movie.
Howard asked how long he's been doing promotion. Ben said it's been months. Howard asked if it wears him out. Ben said it does. He said if you're into the movie it makes it easier. Ben said you have to do a lot of promotion in different ways. Howard asked what he's doing. Ben said he was in Russia and did one of those tours. Howard asked if he's huge over there. Ben said he's not sure if he's huge. He said he exists on some level. Ben said that a couple of generations ago he would have been flushed out of there. Robin asked if he has an interpreter. Ben said he does and the people just look at him with a blank stare. Howard said its not conducive to a long conversation. Ben said some of the jokes he tried didn't go over very well over there.
Howard asked Ben if he's recognized over there. Ben said he is. He said he was in Red Square and he had a photographer following him around. Howard asked what they know him for. Ben said he thinks the Night at the Museum movies are what he's known for over there.
Howard said that movies are tough to make money with these days. He asked if TV is the thing to do now. Ben said it is. He said TV shows can go international now. Howard asked if Ben is too hot to go into TV. Ben said would do it if he had a good show offered to him.
Howard said Ben says that he turned down the opportunity to direct ''Good Will Hunting.'' Howard said that would haunt him for his whole life. Ben said that these two guys were attached to the movie and no one knew them. He said he probably wasn't the only one offered the shot. He said that he never actually read the script because he was told that these two guys were attached to it.
Howard said he thinks that Ben is pretty down to earth and he wouldn't overlook something like that. Ben said it was just a mistake. Robin said it was tougher for Ben to break through and you'd think that he'd want to give some upstarts a chance. Ben said it was just one of those things.
Howard said he saw Ben, Jim Carrey and Bill Hader do a thing on stage together and Ben does give young people a chance. Howard said he gave Bill Hader a shot at 15. Ben said at the time he had a girlfriend in Tulsa and her friend was teaching Bill and said that she had a student who wanted to meet him. He said that they all went out to dinner and talked. He said that they were in Tulsa so what else is there to do. He said they hung out and went to a movie. He said he didn't see him for another 10 years after that. Ben said in about 1999 Bill Hader was in a 7-Eleven and he talked to him and found out that he was a P.A. or something. He said he invited him out to hang out after that. He said that he used to have people do that for him and he remembers how nice that was. Ben said he got to hang out on movie sets as a kid. He said that he got to talk to Rick Moranis on the set of a movie and he did that for like 45 minutes.
Howard said when Ben was a kid he was in a play and Steven Spielberg saw him in it. He said that's what led to him being cast in Empire of the Sun. Howard said that also led to Spielberg letting him watch as he directed some stuff. Howard said it must be great when something like that happens. Ben said he was very encouraging to anyone who was into film making. He said that he did a short for Saturday Night Live and showed that to Steven. He said he did watch it and that was a big thing for him.
Howard said Ben was on Saturday Night Live and he quit because they didn't want to put his short films on. Ben said he likes making movies. He said he doesn't feel comfortable doing live stuff.
Howard said Ben worked with Chris Rock on Madagascar and he can't believe how fast he is. Ben said Chris would improv when they recorded together and he was too fast for him. Ben said that he feels more comfortable being a director. Howard asked if he would pick that over acting. Ben said he probably would.
Howard said Ben has made so much money that studios don't want him directing. He said they want him to do three big comedies a year. Howard said when he directs it takes too much time. Ben said it's show business so they want you to do what they know you for. He said the movies he's directed haven't made the kind of money that he's made in acting. Howard said they keep him working and keep him moving. Howard said they didn't want Ben to direct this Walter Mitty movie. Ben said they came to him as an actor. Ben said he felt very passionate about this movie.
Howard said he remembers the Walter Mitty in the past and this isn't the same thing. Ben said that this isn't like that musical. He said they've been trying to remake the movie since the Danny Kaye thing. He said they were trying to do a musical without the music. Ben said this guy wrote a new take on it and that's what they went with. Howard said the studio loved the new script.
Howard said Jim Carrey left the project. Then Ron Howard and Steven Spielberg backed out of directing. Howard said that would make him freak out. Howard asked Ben if he thought like that. Ben said he thought the new script was a whole new thing. He said it didn't fall into one category. He said it was really different and the other guys may not have ever seen that script.
Howard asked why it's so hard to star and direct a movie. Ben said that there are times when he wishes he had someone directing him.
Howard asked if he feels pressure when he directs a movie. He said that the movie might tank. Ben said that can happen with anything in show business. He said he's been in a lot of movies that have tanked. He said there is pressure but you don't think about that when you're making the movie. Howard said he would think about it. Howard said he feels pressure doing the radio show. Ben said he feels pressure right now when the movie is coming out. He said while he's making it he doesn't feel that. He said he will do a take in a movie and they can do a lot of takes so things can change.
Howard said he heard that Spielberg will wait on set all day for the right sunset. Ben said he's really good with the budgets though. He said he came in under budget with Empire of the Sun.
Howard said he read that Ben will shoot 4 different walls for one scene. Ben laughed. Howard asked if he has to do that because he's seeing something in his mind. Ben said that you try the choices you have and that's making a movie. Howard said that's caring for what you're doing. Ben said he's not sure why people criticize him for that.
Howard asked what movie he made where he went over budget and got fined. Ben said Zoolander went over but he put his own money into it. Howard said he knows a guy who did a movie and just coasted through it. That movie ended up tanking. Howard said he worked so hard on Private Parts. He said that he didn't want to make a shitty movie. Howard said they were going to get rid of him and have Jeff Goldblum play him if he rejected another script. Howard said he would have been a laughing stock if they didn't get it right.
Howard asked Ben if he cast everyone in the movie. Ben said they have a casting director. He said he eventually meets with them and reads with them. He said they didn't make Kristen Wiig audition. He said he didn't make Sean Penn audition either. He said he does kind of do a bit of Spicoli in the movie. Ben said they were shooting in Iceland and he understands the directing process so he goes along with it. He said he has a great sense of humor too. He said he helps out on the movie too. He said they shot on a mountain and he was carrying stuff down the mountain with the rest of the crew.
Howard said he really likes Kristen Wiig. He said he thinks she's sexy. Howard asked Ben if he fell in love with her on the set of the movie. Ben said you have to. He said that everything is channeling through her. Ben said he's thinking about her in the movie about them getting together. Howard said that Walter Mitty is a douche and he can't talk to her. Ben said he's more of a guy who hasn't realized his potential. He said the original title of the movie was ''Walter Mitty the Douche.''
Howard said Ben directed Reality Bites and Cable Guy and he got some critical acclaim. Ben said Cable Guy didn't really.
Howard asked Ben about working with the Farrelly brothers and the big hit he was in with them. Ben said that he had done some other movie before that and that's what got him the job in that movie. Howard asked why he doesn't do more movies with David O. Russell. Ben said that he doesn't know. He said that he has talked to him but it would be weird to ask to be in another movie.
Howard asked if it's hard to go get directing jobs. Howard asked if it's true he had to make a short movie to show he could do this Walter Mitty thing. Ben said Howard is the most prepared interviewer. He said he did have to do a ''sizzle reel'' together for the studio. Ben said he thinks he did what every director does when they're making a movie like this. He said he's showing them that he cares and he's passionate about it.
Howard asked what he shot. Ben said he just edited together scenes from other movies to give them a vibe of what's going to happen. He said people respond to that because movies are so visual. Howard said it's almost like an interior director showing sample materials.
Howard asked how he got Kristen Wiig on the movie. Ben said he met her at Saturday Night Live when he hosted it. He said he sat down and talked to her after he talked to the movie studio. He said after all of that they have to negotiate with her. Howard said a studio can blow it when it comes to that. Ben said they have to be on the same page. He said it's hard when they're not into the choice you have. Howard asked how long he had to wait to find out. Ben said it was pretty quick. He said they wanted her in it too so it didn't take long. Howard said if they held out then he's fucked. Ben said that it's up to the studio. He said they can go over budget to get someone in a movie. Ben said if it's someone incredible then they'll go out of the way to get them.
Howard said he thinks that Ben can do a douchy character and have a sure fire hit. Ben said he doesn't think there is such a thing as a sure fire hit.
Howard asked how long he worked on this movie. Ben said it was 2 and a half years of his life. Howard said that's crazy.
Ben said that the Something about Mary movie was one that actually built over time. Howard said that the same thing happened with Crocodile Dundee. Howard said he knows that for a fact. Robin said it has happened with smaller movies too.
Howard asked what else is opening on the day this is opening. Ben said there are like 35 movies opening. He said everyone opens on Christmas day. He said you have to find a niche and he thinks that it's for everyone. He said that it's a PG movie and you can take the whole family to it. He said he never intended it to be a family movie but the whole family can go.
Howard asked how long he has been editing the movie. Ben said it's been a year. He said you have a responsibility to be a movie you want it to be but it has to work for an audience too. Howard asked if he can go to an alternate take and make it funnier or more emotional. Ben said that's the process. He said he probably did that 10 or 11 times. He said you can change music or take a line out to make a change.
Howard asked Ben if he thinks about how he should have shot things differently. Ben said he does. He said that he thinks about how he screwed things up and how he could have changed them.
Ben said he got to watch Zoolander recently with an audience and he got to see what held up and what didn't. Howard said that movie has turned into a thing. He said his kids are way into that movie. He said it's a thing. Howard said they didn't see it in the movies though. Ben said that's what he loves. He said it's great when something can live on like that.
Howard asked if he's going to make a sequel to Zoolander. Ben said he does want to. Howard asked if he thinks he'd have a problem if he did it now that he's done a movie like Walter Mitty. Ben said that he'd want to make the movie live up to the first one. He said he's always going to be a guy who makes comedies. He said as you get older you want to make different types of movies. He said you don't want to do the same thing.
Howard said he knows he wrote Tropic Thunder with Justin Theroux. He said he had no idea they were so close. Ben said he came up with the idea for Tropic Thunder when he was shooting Empire of the Sun. He said that he thought it was just going to be a sketch or something. He never expected it to be a whole movie. Ben said he met Justin 20 years ago when he was acting with his girlfriend. Ben said that he's a great writer and actor. He said he's very stylish too. Howard said he knows Justin pretty well. Ben said he knew he was a writer and they talked about doing things together. Howard asked how he knew he was going to be any good. Howard asked how you get out if it doesn't work. Ben said he knew he was a brilliant writer. Howard said Justin is very complimentary about Ben too. Howard read about some of the things that he said about him and how they'd change the script and pull something funny out of a scene.
Howard said he never sees Ben in the tabloids. He said the only thing he saw was that Jennifer Aniston doesn't like Christine and that's why they don't get together. Ben said that's just not true. He said Jennifer and Christine go back a long way. He said they were on Friends together. Ben said he doesn't read any of that stuff. He said they're boring people and don't get into the tabloids so much.
Howard said asked if he's shocked that his old friend is dating Jennifer Aniston. Ben said that when he wasn't dating her they'd get followed by one photographer. He said that they'd ask what his friend's name is. Then a month later they were asking who Justin's friend was. Howard said it can't be easy for them. He said that they get photographed all the time. Howard asked if they meet secretly now. Ben said it does have to be taken into account. Ben said Justin might have to hop on his Ducati and shake the Paparazzi.
Howard asked if he's writing with Justin now. Ben said they wrote Zoolander 2 a few years ago. He said that they have a script now but only Paramount can do the movie. Howard asked if he wants Justin to direct it. Ben said he does. He said he doesn't want to do both jobs at the same time. He said Justin is a talented guy too. Howard asked if he could walk away from the editing process. Ben said they would do that together. Howard said it sounds exhausting. Ben said it is.
Howard asked Ben what a day is like for him. Ben said he's been doing nothing but working on Walter Mitty for the past few years. Howard asked what he can say about the movie that will get the audience to go see it. Ben said they will make the right choice. Howard said he'll tell Robin to go see it then. Robin said it must be a boost of confidence when the studio makes it a Christmas movie. Ben said it is.
Howard said this movie is about a guy trying to win a girl over. He said that appeals to him. Howard said he had to work so fucking hard to get a girl himself. He said he got one too. Howard said that was a lot of work.
Ben told Howard more about the movie and how Walter has to go out in the real world and has a real life. He said he becomes his own real hero.
Howard said there are a lot of people who live like that. Robin said it reminds her of Jeff the Drunk. Robin said that he wants to be a star but not do anything about it. Howard said he knows people who will think about doing it but never take that chance. Ben said that's what the movie is about. Howard said he'd go see that.
Howard asked if Ben is working on a live Pinnochio. Ben said Robert Downey Jr. and he have been talking about doing a live action movie about that. He said Robert would play Geppetto. Howard said that guy has done such a turn around with his career. Ben said that he's very smart and he has so many ideas for movies. Howard said he talks very fast and he delivers it effortlessly. Howard said everyone wants him in a movie right now too. Howard wondered if he's joking about wanting to be Geppetto. Ben said he's not at all. He said Robert has an idea for the character and he'll do a whole thing doing the voice and acting it out.
Howard asked why he can't go to a studio today and tell them that he has Robert ready to do this. Ben said he thinks that they'd do it as a computer generated thing. He said they don't want a human Pinnochio. Howard said why not. Howard said he is a puppet and then he becomes a human. Ben said it won't work if you do that live. Howard said he has a vision for this though. Ben said that Robert is the one with the vision. He wants him to direct it.
Howard said he gets it now. He said that this is an interesting dilemma. Howard said he has Robert Downey Jr. but he wants to play Geppetto.
Howard said Ben is there to promote this Walter Mitty movie. Howard said that this could be it for his career. He said if it's a big hit then he could coast through his life for a while. Howard said his world could change in one day. Ben said it never really works like that when you've been in the business so long. Howard said it happened for him when Something about Mary hit. Ben said that's true. He said that it was a different world after that.
Howard asked how Ben's parents are doing. Howard said he's a huge Stiller and Mira fan. He asked how they're doing. Ben said that they're doing alright. He said his dad is 86 and doing his thing. Howard said that he hears from his dad once in awhile. He said he doesn't believe it's really him but it could be. Ben said they're the best. Howard asked if he resented them being on the road while he was a kid. Ben said he was resentful for a while but now he knows what that's like now that he has kids of his own. Ben said his mother was a drinker for along time. He said she stopped doing that and stopped smoking too. He said they had to work together all the time because they were a team. He said they got to go with them sometimes but it was tough for them to make that all work.
Howard said that Ben can't be away with the kids all the time. Ben said he went to Iceland and he didn't have the kids there. He said he takes off time in the summer for the kids. He said when he's working he tries to make sure he's with them on the weekends. He said he edited the movie at home in Westchester. He said his daughter wasn't thrilled with that. He said she wrote a song about him being in the edited room.
Howard said he thought his kids would be enamored with the radio thing but they couldn't care less. Ben said he loved going to the radio studio and seeing how things were done. He said that they had Larry Storch come over almost every year until last year. Howard said he saw him work with his dad.
Howard said he wishes him luck with his movie. He said he can play Pinnochio if he wants. He said he has the right body for that. Howard gave him some plugs and wrapped up with Ben. Howard said it was great to see him. Robin said she was thinking about Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder and it makes her laugh. Howard said that line about going Full Retard was great. Ben said that was a Justin line. He said he didn't know that was going to blow up like it did until he got so much blowback from it.
Howard asked Ben what he thinks about the FOX News White Santa thing. Ben said that he hadn't heard anything about that. He said that Santa can be whatever color you want him to be. Howard said Ben has put in way too much time there. Howard let him go and went to break.
Howard came back and said he wants to do the news now. Howard said Ben Stiller is a nice guy. He said he likes him. He said he's interesting and he works hard. Howard said the movie business is nuts. He said people are trying to figure out what the public wants. Howard said there's so much money involved in it too. Howard said they can spend $100-200 million. He said the pressure has to be enormous.
Howard tried to take a call but the guy wasn't there. He took another one from a guy who wasn't sure if he was on. Howard kept saying hello and jerking the guy around. Fred played Ben Stern's ''Testing, testing'' clip too. The caller asked if the birthday special will be put out as a pay-per-view special or whatever his next TV project will be. Howard said he wanted to stream it but that won't be happening. He said it'll be on SiriusXM that night and replayed on the following Monday. Howard said he will videotape it but it won't be on a DVD or anything like that. The caller said he figured it would be great to put out. Howard said they're going to tape it so they can watch it in their old age.
Howard said that anchorman who said ''Lets get the fuck out of here'' in that newscast was fired. Howard said that he had to apologize for doing that. Howard said that they're live on AGT and they curse. He said they ride those microphones pretty good. Howard said he assumes they're not hot at any time. Robin said he could get caught. Howard said some curse words do fly. He said news guys are held to a different standard. Robin said he could get fined by the FCC again. Howard said he could end up being the most fined man in history. Howard said they were after them for a while.
Robin said meanwhile Madoff and crooks like that are taking real money away form people. Fred played Robin's music while she was giving that speech.
Howard played the clip of the news anchor who said ''Lets get the fuck out of here.'' Robin said they should call him and see how he's feeling. Howard wondered what's better, CNBC playing the N-word or the anchor saying fuck. Robin said the CNBC thing was better. Howard said he should play that before they go on vacation for two weeks. Howard played the clip that he had played a couple of times earlier in the morning. Howard said they did that and then apologized.
Howard took a call from his wife Beth who asked if they can send out their Christmas card photo. She said Entertainment Tonight showed it last night. Howard asked how they got it. Beth said she sent them a calendar and they send the card along with it. Beth said she thinks that this is their best one yet. Howard said not everyone has seen it yet. Howard said everyone that got it has said they laughed their ass off. Howard told Beth to tweet it out. Beth asked if she has the hi-res version. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said Beth gives him things to do all day and he snaps right to it. Howard said she's a lucky woman. He said she's going to have him at home for two weeks. Beth said she knows.
Beth asked how things are going with her auction for the birthday bash. Howard said he's not sure but he thinks it's doing well. Howard said that's a date with Beth to go to the birthday bash. Howard said you can get in on the bidding. Howard said he hopes she wears something hot. Beth said it depends on who the date is with. Howard said it's a pair of tickets so it could be a couple. Howard said it's going to be a spectacular night.
Beth said she can't believe Robin didn't get the gift from Howard yet. She said he did such a good job with it. Howard said he wrote her a card too. Beth said the card made her cry.
Howard said Ben said hi to her. Beth said they're seeing him tonight. Howard said he knows. Beth said she has kittens crawling all over her. She said after the break she's going to have another litter to take care of. Beth said that they were supposed to do it for just June but she still has kittens crawling over. She asked people to please spay and neuter your cats.
Howard said he was in charge of the kittens one day. He said they're so much fun to play with. Beth said Howard even took care of their litter box. Howard said that's really not that hard. He asked if these two have homes. Beth said they do. She said they have a new litter coming after the new year. She said they're adorable.
Howard talked about what a great catch he is. Beth said he really is. Howard said he wants people to write about what a great guy he is. He said he takes these cats in and gets them adopted. Howard said he's so loving and giving. Beth said she really is the luckiest girl in the world. She said that if the man pays attention to their wife then things will work out. She said it's really beautiful. Howard said you ask your wife how her day was and you'll probably get laid.
Howard told Robin that her gift is a locket of him calling doctors for her. Robin said she doesn't need reminders for that. Howard said he got her a scrap book too. Howard said that she can look at that whenever she forgets.
Howard sang a song to Beth about being at home with him at Christmas. Howard was doing it like a Broadway musical. Howard sang about what a great husband he is and how he asks her questions. Howard said he's a great on air partner because he's there for Robin in her illness. Howard said he jerks off instead of cheating on his wife. Beth said that he also scoops litter boxes and adopted a blind cat. Howard sang about those things too. Howard was singing about how he gets laid and how his wife accepts his face, his hideous face.
Beth asked if Howard talked about the fashion show he did for her yesterday. Howard sang about how he showed her his bathing suits for their vacation. Howard said they're going away for 4 or 5 days so he has a few outfits.
Howard said even Benjy has commented on his body. He said that he's in love with him. Benjy said that he really thinks he looks great.
JD came in and told Howard that their birthday card is up on RadarOnline.com. He said Beth may as well tweet it out.
Howard let Beth go a short time later. Howard said she's a saint and he loves her. Howard said he has learned after all these years that talking about himself is boring. He said that he knows what a day he had. Howard said he doesn't want to go home and talk about himself. He said he wants to hear about his wife's day. Howard said he goes home and asks her what she did and why she did it.
Robin wondered if Beth read the news story about the blind man who had the guide dog. Howard said that dog is so awesome. Howard said they gave this blind guy the dog but the guy ended up on the train tracks and the dog saved him. Fred said the dog was trying to get him away and he wouldn't wake up. Howard said the dog and the guy survived because they told them to lay down between the tracks. Howard said it's so heart wrenching. Howard said he can't believe anyone can be cruel to animals. Howard said they have this cat Bella that got its eyes whacked out. Howard said the cat is so sweet. He said someone did that to her. Howard said these animals are good. He said they're better than people.
Robin asked if Howard would stay on the tracks. Howard said ''NO!'' He said he wouldn't even stick around if Robin was there on the tracks.
Robin said the dog has to retire soon and the guy can only afford a working dog and not another dog. Robin said they retire the dogs and they go to another home. Howard said he wants that dog. Robin said that guy will get another guide dog. Howard said he needs that dog just in case Robin gets stuck on the tracks. Robin wondered what she would be doing on the tracks. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said Robin was doing that story about Beyonce releasing her album with no warning. Howard said he has yet to meet anyone who owns a Beyonce record. Robin said she thinks she might. Howard said that's what he's talking about. He said he can't find anyone. Howard asked Fred if he knows anyone. Fred said no and then walked out of the studio. Howard said he's never seen anything like that. He was asking him a question and he walked right out of the studio. Howard said he doesn't know anyone who has a Beyonce album. He said he doesn't think anyone there owns one. Howard said based on what they say she's worth 1 in 4 people should have an album. Howard said no one there has one. He said he thought for sure Steve Brandano would come walking in.
Jason came in and said he owns a bunch of Beyonce singles. He said he likes some of her songs like ''Put a Ring On It'' and things like that. He said she has a concert video that he loves and records every time it's on. Howard said in all fairness he smokes a lot of weed so he's lost all of his testosterone. Fred played ''Put a Ring On It'' and pointed out that it's for women.
Howard said Benjy has this thing where he wants him to pay attention to him. He said he's saying he wants to show up in costume to the holiday party. Howard said he has to talk to him as one man to another. Howard said it's not about Benjy. He said he can have a night of freedom. Benjy said he swears on his life that if it were just friends getting together he would feel better in costume because he's so fat right now. Howard asked what the costume is. Benjy said he's going to rent one. He said he would be much more comfortable in it.
Benjy asked Howard not to drink at the party. Howard said he won't be drinking. He said he will have club soda. Howard said he wants Benjy to release some pressure in his life. He said if he's fat he can wear nicely tailored clothes. Benjy said he's tried that. Howard told him to wear a big shirt and a nice jacket. He said that's the costume he wants him to wear. Benjy said he just wants to be comfortable. Howard said then it becomes about Benjy. Howard said he wants him in a black blazer and black t-shirt. Howard said that's the costume he's comfortable with. Robin told him to wear whatever he wants to wear. Robin said this is Benjy. Benjy said this isn't an attention thing. He said it would be so much easier to get a duck costume. Howard said he doesn't have to show up. Benjy said he does have to show up. Howard said Elisa won't want to be there with a duck. Howard told him to wear the Darrell Hammond costume. Benjy said he does that already.
Howard told Benjy to do what he wants. He said he feels like this is a cry for attention. Benjy said he's really shy actually. Howard said he should make it about everyone else and not about himself. Benjy said he would be happy being completely blocked out in a sheet or something. Howard said he should just blend in with everyone else. He said they've had enough attention today. Benjy said he'll do crazy things for attention. He said he wants to be uninhibited. Howard said he's drawing more attention to himself.
Gary said the guys in the office are screaming at the radio. He said they're saying that he has completely dominated the party the past two years. He said that Benjy showed up one year dressed in a costume and another one he showed up with a strange girl who took all the attention at the party. Howard told Benjy to try an exercise and try to be a regular guy. Howard asked why it's so terrifying to be liberated. Benjy said he doesn't want videos to show up on the show. Howard said no one is videotaping.
Howard said he does this party for the guys on the show so they can have some fun together. He said he wants to thank the guys on the show for their work. Howard said he makes it about the people he works with. He said Benjy is going to the party and he's going to make it about himself. He said that's Benjy being ''on.'' Robin said he'll be in more photos if he's in costume. Howard said he feels bad for him. He said Benjy should think of other people's comfort. Benjy said that's a good way to look at it. Benjy said he would be better at connecting with people if he was covered up though. Howard said he can connect with Benjy if he's not in a costume. Gary said this is a ridiculous conversation. Gary said someone just yelled that he shouldn't come if he's not comfortable. Gary said Benjy not coming in a duck outfit is going to get talked about just as much as if he showed up.
Robin asked if Jason is worried about this. Gary said no. Howard said Jason looks good in that outfit he wears. He said he knows Benjy wants to do this. Gary said Benjy comes in every day in a shirt and blazer and he's fine.
Benjy asked Robin if she understands this at all. Robin said she knows what he's saying but he's making this whole thing about him. She said that they should just let him wear the duck outfit. Howard said just listen to this conversation. Howard asked Fred what's going on. Fred said Benjy just wants attention. Benjy said this isn't about attention. Fred and Benjy went back and forth arguing for a few seconds but Howard cut them off. Howard said no one is taking pictures there. He wished Benjy luck with whatever he does.
Robin mentioned James Gandolfini, Jean Stapleton, Cory Monteith, Ray Manzarek, Dr. Joyce Brothers and a bunch of others including Roger Ebert. Howard said that he has a picture of Roger and him in the studio. Howard said he loved Roger Ebert. He said he knew something about movies and he knew something about everything. He said he was really entertaining. Howard said he has him on the wall of heroes like Sam Kinison. Howard said he has Roger on his computer as a screen saver. Howard said he has Sam up on a wall. He said he really misses Sam. He said he was hard to be around but he really does miss him. He said that he had diner over at the house one night and his kids were scared of him.
Robin read a story about the doomsday preacher, Harold Camping, who predicted that the rapture would come on 4 different occasions. He has passed away at the age of 92. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said that Roger Ebert was great because he loved life so much. Howard said he even showed his face after all of those surgeries to remove his cancer. Howard said he even found a way to communicate after he had all of those problems.
Robin read a story about the MegaMillions lottery and how two tickets were winners. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how the sudden wealth can really affect someone in a negative way. The woman said that some people don't understand that they have to pay taxes. Howard said only losers play the lottery. He said you never win. Robin said two people won. Howard said it's not going to be you though. He said Scott the Engineer blew 20 bucks on that. Howard said he's not going to win. He actually won $7. Howard said now he has to go retrieve his 7 bucks. Howard said even when he won he lost. Robin said the lump sum payoff is $341 million.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about Transcendental Meditation. He asked how he should find out more about it. Howard said he's been doing it since he was 18 and it's very simple. He said you go in and they teach you at a center. Howard said it's not a religious thing. He said that he doesn't need to do anything else. Just do TM and it works. The caller asked if it's appropriate for a 16 year old to do it. Howard said that's the best time to start.
The caller told Benjy to go to the party fat and feel bad and maybe it'll give him a kick in the ass to lose weight. Howard said that's some good advice.
Robin read a story about the Rose Parade and Howard said those things are so horrible. Howard said they're fucking idiots standing out watching these things. He said that he doesn't know who these people are who have such empty lives. Howard said he knows it had a big rating. Howard said it's an insult to the people who make TV. He said it's people walking by and doing nothing. Robin said they want to have a gay sex marriage during the parade but she figured the people watching are people who are against gay marriage. Howard said parades should have gone away when electricity was invented. Howard said years ago before the invention of everything else you went outside to discover things. Gary said he thinks old people like parades. He said he visits his mom at the old age home and they're all watching parades. Gary said his mom marched in the Macy's parade when she worked at Macy's. He said that's exciting for her.
Howard said he was in a parade as a kid and it was horrible. He was supposed to play the clarinet but he was faking it in class so he didn't know how to play. He said the parade made no sense at all.
Robin read a story about President Obama not going to the Olympics because of their anti-gay laws over there. Howard said they're like Klingons over there. He said they do everything the opposite of what everyone else does. Howard said everyone knows it. Howard said they're a pain in the fucking ass. Howard said everyone else is waking up and seeing that Gay people are fine. He said even the Pope is waking up to it. Howard said they have that horrible language over there too. He said they should speak English. Fred played some clips of someone speaking Klingon. Howard said that people actually learn that language. Howard said he hopes Benjy comes to the Christmas party and speaks Klingon.
Robin asked if Howard has seen Gravity yet. Howard said he has not. Robin said now it's happening for real. Howard told her not to spoil it for him. Robin said up on the International Space Station they're having some problems. Howard said he can't get movies sent to him. He said he wants to see that movie but he can't get it. Howard said he talks about movies too. He told Gary to get him the movie. Gary said he'll get some stuff for him, don't worry. Gary said he has the movie. Howard said he wants it. Howard asked why he didn't give it to him. Gary said he just got it like 2 days ago. He said he has a friend who loans them to him. He said he has like 10 movies. Howard told him to get them to him.
Robin asked which country is the most materialistic movie. Howard said it's either us or Dubai. Howard said he thinks it's the United States. Robin said that China came in at number one in a poll. Robin said they gauge their success based on what they own. Robin said India is up there too.
Robin read a story about a police officer who was suspended after posting a racist rant about President Obama on his Facebook page. Robin said he was bewildered that Obama was even still alive. Robin said he has been relieved of his duties and he could be facing more disciplinary action.
Robin read about drug use in high school and how marijuana is still very popular.
Robin said that some law makers have made revenge porn illegal in California. Robin said that's like when you post some home video online after you break up. Robin said that they want a similar law about selfies. Howard said he hates that term. Robin said they want it to be illegal to post a selfies that you didn't take yourself. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. That led to Fred playing some of Ronnie's sex tip clips where he's talking about cumming in Eggnog and sticking a candy cane inside a woman. Howard said most guys his age have figured out that you don't talk like that. Fred did his impression of Ronnie and goofed on those clips for a short time.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she saw Howard's Christmas card and it's amazing. She also told Robin she's happy she's well. Howard cut her off and hung up on her.
Robin read a story about the pope celebrating his birthday by spending his time with the homeless. Howard asked what kind of birthday party that is. Robin said he had breakfast with 3 homeless men. Robin said a dog that was owned by one of the men was there as well.
Howard wrapped up and wished everyone a happy and merry blah, blah, blah. They ended the show around 10:35am.
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Gary said Ben Stiller has been coming on the show for years steadily. He said that Ben and his wife are fans of the show too. He said that Ben was very good today and talked about everything. Jason said Howard did an amazing interview. He said Ben has been on many times but today sounded like a new interview. He said he learned so many new things today.
Gary said they learned about how Ben's mother got him in to a play and that's how he got started. Gary said that a lot of people think that if their mom did that then they'd be big stars too. Gary said that Ben made the most of the opportunities he got and that keeps him going.
Jason said that the original Ben Stiller show was great. He said he used to do a great Bruce Springsteen impression on the show. Gary and Jason talked about the other people who were on the show with Ben. Gary said they went through a lot with Ben today.
Gary asked Benjy what he thought of Ben's interview. Benjy said that he thinks he looks a lot like his dad. He said he loves his dad. He said he bets a lot of people think that his mother was the woman on Seinfeld but it wasn't. Jason said Jerry Stiller is a really funny dude.
Jason said that someone in the back says that Ben was talking about how he doesn't really seem to like acting that much. Jason said that Cable Guy was one movie that he directed that's great.
Jason took a call from a guy who wondered if they think he's one of the most down to earth guys to come on the show. Gary said he thinks he is. He said he showed up alone and didn't have any manager or publicists with him. He said he thinks that shows how comfortable he is. Gary said he found him to be one of the nicest guys in the world. The caller said he knew Ben's wife and she's amazing too. He said he thinks that helps keep Ben grounded. Gary said he met Christine once. He said he saw her in Dodge ball last night when he turned that movie on.
The caller said he has some medical bills and he's wondering if he has any money to give away. Gary said this is the one day he doesn't have money to give away. Jason asked him what happens if he just doesn't pay his bills. The caller said they will mess with you. He said he takes care of his bills but it gets tough. Benjy said that Jon Hein takes care of a lot of fans with his money. Jon said he wishes he could talk. He barely got that out.
Jason took another call from a guy who told Jason to slow it down a little. He said he's shot out of a cannon. Jason said he has to be devoid of all passion to be like Jon. Jon got in a ''Fuck you, Jason.''
Jason took another call from a guy who said it was great when they hung up on that guy playing the game this morning. Gary said that people get irritated in the back office when Howard gives someone a second chance. Gary said if you don't play the game right then they get upset. Benjy said that Howard loves that people want to come and it's very low chances of getting through on the phone. He said it's hard to say no. He said it was dramatic.
Gary said on other radio shows when you don't win then you don't win. Jason said they have 30 other people on the line who want tickets and you can't just give them away if he's playing a game. He said Howard can do what he wants but there is no shortage of people who want tickets. They had to take a break a short time later.
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Jason said that they're going to talk about Jon Leiberman who was known as 2 Live Jew. Gary said he must have thrown away 50 CDs with that name. Jon said that was the time when he was coming to fruition as a rapper. Jon said he has to say that they recorded that song about 8 months ago. He said he also thinks it was well produced. He said that his performance may not have been that great but it was catchy. Jason asked Jon about his retirement from rapping. Jon said that he knows people said he can't retire from something he wasn't making a living at. He said that Jon Hein suggested he use the word ''hiatus'' instead. He said he really doesn't want to rap on the show anymore. He said he still raps at home. Gary asked if he would do it at the holiday party. Jon said no because that's in public. He said he has had time to reflect on what's gone on and he doesn't think he can be the same rapper he once was.
Gary asked if he thinks that his perception of what he was in the old days isn't really what he was. Jon said that Shuli has confirmed it with people he went to school with. He said he was a good rapper.
Benjy asked if he thinks he was better then than he is now. Jon said he was. Benjy said he should put that stuff out. Jon didn't have it on tape.
Jason said there is no way he was ever a good rapper. Jon asked how he can say that when he wasn't there. Jason said that rapping isn't something you just get bad at. He said he had plenty of time to prepare for his battle against Sal and he was awful. He said it was like he had never heard a rap song in his life. Jon said that's just his opinion.
Jon asked how you can say someone wasn't good at something if you never saw them. Jason said he doesn't have the prerequisite skill he needs to be a rapper. Jon said he believes he was good 20 years ago and he's not good now.
Gary took a call from a guy who said he has to tell Mr. Leiberman that he's more delusional than Sal. He said he can't believe he was ever good at it. He said if he was good at it at some point then he'd still be kind of good now. He said he couldn't have been that good 20 years ago. Jon said that was an interesting perspective.
Benjy said Wally George used to be incredible on the air but when he was on the show he wasn't very good. Jason said the guy was 80 years old. He said that's different than this.
Jason asked if they think Sal is a good rapper. Jon said he thinks that he has his moments. He said he has moments of mediocrity too.
Jason took a call from a guy who said this week has been hilarious. He said he wants to know who is feeding them bullshit that they're good. He said they're just awful. He said he caught that thing they did to Sal halfway through. He said he though they were really going to put Sal up at Radio City. He said that Jon Leiberman is just a terrible rapper.
Gary said he thinks he knows Sal pretty well. He said he's a sweet guy with a good heart but he's so easy to fuck with. Steve said that when you hear Sal won a singing contest on a cruise, do you think he's silly. He said that he doesn't think there's any difference between that and Jon Leiberman thinking he was good in college. Jon said he believes that Sal believes he's a good singer. Steve asked if he laughed at Sal on Monday. Jon said he didn't. He said Sal truly believes that. Gary said Jon believes that he was a good rapper.
Jason said Sal is not a great singer but he can carry a tune and he knows a beat. He said Jon Leiberman is like a deaf guy who can't hear the beat or anything. Jason asked who Jon likes to listen to in the shower. Jon said he listens and sings along to stuff on the radio.
Gary took a call from a guy who asked them not to do this to him. He said he can't listen to Jason doing the Wrap Up Show. He said they can't give him that kind of power. The caller told Jason not to be a tough guy with him. Gary said Jon's voice is shot and he had to let someone else do the show. Gary said he needed someone to get in there and do the talking. He said he was unaware that Jason was going to take over the show. Jason said he forced his way in. He said people have been trying to help Jon his voice back but he was actually taking them away.
Jason asked Benjy why he doesn't wear a costume to work every day. Benjy said that he does wear a hat. Jason said that he doesn't wear a duck costume. Gary said he dresses up like Darrell Hammond every day. He wears nothing but black.
Benjy said that a lot of heavy set people should be able to wear a sheet with a hole cut into it. Gary had to cut them off and go to break.
Gary said he has to move on to another topic. He asked Benjy if he gets that he's making everyone else uncomfortable by wearing a costume to the party. Benjy said that he knows Howard thought that it would be a way to get attention. He said that there are guys he wants to have a great time with but he would be more comfortable if only his face was showing.
Jason said Jon is forcing him to move on against his better judgment. Jason asked if Jon will be drinking at the party this year. Jon said he will have a drink or two but that's it. He said he won't get out of control again like he did last year and the year before. Gary said that Jon is dating a new woman and he may not want to get out of control. Jon said she's already seen him like that. He said she knows about that side of him. He said he has decided to just have a drink or two and not get crazy.
Gary took a call from a guy who said he misses them doing the shredder with the Christmas gifts. Gary said they only did that one year. He said they stopped doing the secret Santa thing because it got weird. He said it was very stressful to do it too. He said they agreed to just completely stop. He said that lasted 2 years and then it crept back up to where it is now. He said it's a really grey area about who gets gifts for who. Gary said he got a nice gift from Fred but he wasn't ready for that. He said that he went online and sent a gift to Fred's daughter. He said the three weeks before Christmas is a tough time. Jason said that someone in the news room complained that they didn't get an individual gift. He said Howard stopped doing it after that. He said the gift giving in the office has slowed to a trickle. Gary said there was a lot of gift giving in the office today though. Gary said he thinks it's the heavy hitters who used to get gifts for everyone aren't doing it anymore.
Gary said that driving in and bringing gifts up is tough. He said that's what's really tough. Jason went around the room and asked who they think is going to make the biggest fool of themselves at the holiday party. Gary said he thinks that Benjy will do something to draw attention to himself. Gary said he thinks that Richard thinks he gets a free pass this week. Benjy said he thinks Steve Brandano will explode and rip his clothes off and jump in the food. Jon Leiberman picked Richard. Steve picked Jon Leiberman. Jon Hein had one word... Sal. Gary said he thinks Sal will do some karaoke this year. Jason said he's going with Richard.
Jason had Jon Leiberman do his news preview and then they ended the show. They were done around 11:25am.
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