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Playboy Cyber Club
Caller Who Slept With His Girlfriend And Her Mother. 2/20/97. 7:00am
A listener called in for some advice from Howard. The guy says that he was in bed with his girlfriend around 3 in the morning. The girls mother woke up and went to the bathroom while they were in bed but when she came out of the bathroom the girl invited her mother into the room to meet the guy. The next thing he knows the mother is joining in! He ended up having sex more with the mother than with the girl. The girl was like 23 and the mother was about 44 but the guy said the mother looked better than the girl. He was wondering what he should do next, that's why he called in. Howard's advice was to wait a little while then call the girl like everything was normal. He said that he should just go out with the girl and let things happen naturally. The guy kept saying that he'd rather just sleep with the mother. Howard told him that he should just take things slowly so he can have both women again. The guy was supposed to be writing all of this stuff down while Howard was telling it to him but when Howard asked him what he just said the guy didn't have an answer. Howard spent a good 30 minutes with this guy on the phone but I don't think any of Howard's advice sunk into his head. Maybe he'll call back in the future and tell Howard how things went.
In the clip we heard Gary asking Howard what he wanted to do next on the show. They had Shawn Colvin offered up as a guest. Howard said he guesses they'll talk to her. Shawn came in so Howard asked how many radio stations she's been to. She said she had been on 3. She asked why Howard is partitioned off. Howard said he doesn't want DJs staring at him. He said he used to do this live show there by himself but everyone started coming and he had to block himself off.
Howard talked to Shawn about her Grammy nominated album and about how attractive she is. Shawn told Howard she's not married because no one will have her. Howard said she's cute and she writes hit songs. She said she doesn't write hits. She said she is in the folk category and she's not even going to get on TV. She said they only have 14 categories that get on TV. She said there are 47.
Howard read about who Shawn is up against for the Grammy. Then he had her play a little something for him. She quickly played guitar for a few seconds. Then she sang a little bit. Howard kept interrupting her. She eventually got into it and sang one of her songs.
Howard said he wanted to have sex with her. He said he wouldn't be seen with her in public since she's so short though. She said she had heels on. She ran off a few seconds later. Howard said she had a tight ass. He said he really digs her.
In the clip Howard played some clips of Jackie directing Wood Yi (Steve the Engineer) how to say ''faggot'' and ''queer'' and other things like that. He had him coughing out the words. Howard said he can't leave Jackie alone with him.
Detroit Press Conference. 2/20/97. 8:35am
Well it was basically the same old press conference that Howard has with every other station he starts on. The press asks Howard how he's going to get ratings if he's not from Detroit. How stupid are these people? Howard did have a little fun with some of the reporters though. There was a gay reporter there that Howard questioned for about 15 minutes. Howard interviewed him more than he interviewed Howard. There was also some woman reporter there who bad mouthed Howard in an article that she wrote. Howard berated her for about 10 minutes. Other than those two reporters everything was like a repeat of every other press conference.
In the clip Howard was surprised when Tony Bennett came in for a visit. They spent a couple minutes talking but Howard was told that Tony had to leave. Howard said he had just gotten started with him.
Howard asked Tony about hanging out with Frank Sinatra and people like that back in the day. Tony told Howard about some of those things but Howard was running out of time with him.
Howard asked Tony to sing a little ''San Francisco'' for him. Tony did that. Howard asked how he keeps that voice sounding so good. Tony said he doesn't smoke. Howard told him it was an honor to meet him. Howard said he's busy interviewing nobodies. Howard sang to Tony for a few seconds. He asked Tony if he had any gigs coming up. Tony said he'd be on the Grammy's performing. Howard let him go a short time later.
Tony's son Dan showed up so Howard ended up talking to him instead. Howard asked Dan about managing his dad and what that's like for him. Dan said he enjoys the job. Howard said it must be great knowing that some day his dad is going to go and he's going to inherit the mother load. Howard asked what he gets paid. Dan wasn't saying exactly how much.
Howard asked if he got laid saying he was Tony Bennett's son. Dan said he didn't do that. Howard asked how long it took before telling his wife he was Tony's son. Dan didn't say. Howard asked why they yanked Tony out of there so quick. Dan said they have 16 stations he has to visit. They spent a few more minutes talking before wrapping up.
In the clip we heard Howard talking about a bit that they did about Robin. It was the Robin Quivers Vocal Institute bit. He played that for Robin and Robin laughed as it played. The bit was about all of Robin's different voices that she can do.
Howard said he wanted Gange to go back and get every impression Robin has done and they didn't get her doing Cindy Adams. She used to do a Yoko impression too. Howard said Gary didn't put a lot of work into that. Gary said that's just not true.
Super Model Frederique Comes In. 2/20/98. 8:40am
Super model Frederique came in to plug her web site today. Howard spent a while talking to the 5'11'' tall Victoria's Secret model. It sounded like Howard was in love like he is whenever a gorgeous woman comes in. Frederique had a great sense of humor about everything and even joked with Howard about her bowel movements when Howard asked if she lets her boyfriend see her go to the bathroom. She was pretty open about everything Howard asked. She used to date hockey player Mark Messier. She said that things just didn't work out between the two of them so they broke up. Howard asked her if she ever went out with Donald Trump. She said they never went out. Howard also asked her if she was a 3 input woman. She said that she is open to that. She was actually a fun guest.
In this clip Robin was reading some news when Richard Simmons dropped in. Richard came in screaming. He was so loud in the hall that Howard could hear him out there. Howard said they're in a sound proof booth and they could hear him.
Richard brought in gifts for everyone so he was hanging those out. He was also giving hugs to everyone. Howard said Richard just kissed him. He spit a bunch of times to get it out of his mouth. Robin said he was kissing him right back.
Howard asked what kind of perfume he was wearing. Richard asked if he's going to be nice to him today. Howard said that Richard really doesn't know how to lose weight.
Richard told Howard about his parents and how he was a change of life baby for them. Howard said that he had friends who had older parents like that. He said his heart goes out to Richard.
Richard told Howard about his breakfast and Howard said he really has to teach him about how to eat. Richard said they're there to honor all of the silver foxes out there. He asked Howard when the last time was that he helped one out. Howard said never. He said the last time he did hello out a senior citizen he had a problem. Howard said that he was in first class and this old woman started to back her seat into his knees. He said he had to yell that he needed leg room. She said her back was hurting her. He said his knees were being crushed from her leaning back. He said that her husband tried to punch him so he decked the old man. Richard said he did not. Fred started to play the ''You dick!'' clip from ''Fast Times at Ridgemont High'' so Richard told him to stop that. He demanded that he hand over the tape.
Richard said he can tell that he doesn't have grandparents. Howard said he did have grandparents but they're gone now. He said that they left him nothing because they were all failures. Richard said no one is a failure.
Sal Pacino was sitting in so he was talking about this Silver Foxes thing too. He's 65 and he told Howard about some other celebrity parents that are also silver foxes.
Howard played the ''You dick!'' clip again so Richard had to yell at him again. Richard asked Howard if he would go with him to some event he was going to be appearing at. Howard said he has to think about it. Robin said he should go. Howard said he doesn't want to be part of this shtick.
Richard went over to Howard and started to attack him. Howard was making weird noises like he was being tickled or something. Howard played the ''You dick!'' clip again. Richard yelled at him to stop once again.
After an edited out break Howard came back and took some calls. One of those callers was Howard's mom, Ray. Ray said it was great to hear Richard on the show. Howard did his impression of Ray talking to Richard and had some fun with that for a short time. Howard said his mom doesn't believe in exercise either. Howard said she should just sit home.
Howard told his mom that Richard just bit him. Richard said he thinks that the seniors in the audience will listen to him because they do like to laugh. He said if they see him at the silver fox thing then they will get into it. Howard told his mom that he had Al Pacino's dad there too.
Richard and Howard talked to Ray for a few minutes about her sex life and things like that too. Richard said she is a lovely lady. Howard let her go and spent a little more time talking to Richard and Sal Pacino.
Howard and Richard talked about the silver foxes thing and how Howard didn't want to go. Howard said he has no desire to go to an old age home. Richard said it's not. He said it's a senior center. Howard said he's done helping old people. He said their lives are full of boring adventures. He has no desire to hear them.
Howard said his grandparents left him nothing. He said one grandfather gave him about $200 and a ring. He said he hocked the diamond and got about $400 from that.
Howard asked Richard how much he gets paid to do this thing. Richard said he isn't getting paid anything. Howard goofed on Richard some more and Richard said nothing is sacred with him at all. Richard said that Jim Kerr doesn't treat him like this at all. Howard played the ''You dick!'' tape again. Richard freaked out and told him to stop again.
Howard said he was in a clothing store once and he saw this old woman slip and fall in the rain. He said he was in the car with Robin and he told Robin that he was going to get her. Howard said he got out and helped the woman who said she just wanted to go home. Howard said he put her in the limo and asked where she lived. She said she was from Queens so he kicked her out and into a cab to take her home. Howard said he wasn't going to drive to Queens.
Howard said Richard is doing something good and he believes in what he's doing. He said he believes in Mr. Pacino too. He said he believes in him because he has a successful son. They spent a little more time talking about the silver foxes program with Sal.
Howard played some music and played some tap dancing clips to make up what it sounds like to work out with the silver foxes. He threw in the ''You dick!'' clip again too. Richard freaks out every time he hears it.
After another edited out break Howard got back to Sal Pacino and spent more time talking to him about his son and what kind of money he makes. Richard said there's more to life than money. Richard said he's never seen Howard kiss someone's ass like he is with Sal today. Howard was quoting movies and talking about what Al Pacino has done.
Richard talked about how he taped Howard and sent a clip to his mother. Howard wanted her on the show so Richard sent her the tape and she asked if he seriously wanted her to go on the show. Howard wrapped up and thanked Sal and Richard for coming in and ended the sediment a short time later.
In the clip Howard and Robin talked about Pig Virus leaving for MTV. Howard said the guy is a bald, squat, ugly human being. He said he's going to MTV and that's just kind of goofy. Howard said it doesn't make sense. Howard said he's going to have Mark Goodman shave his head so he looks like Pig Virus.
Howard did his impression of Pig Virus and goofed on him for a short time. Howard imagined how he'd screw MTV up by changing things over there. Howard did that impression for a few minutes.
Howard said all of the rock stars are going to have to have sex with Pig Virus to get their videos played. He said it's going to be a sick scene over at MTV.
In this clip a caller brought up Howard's E! show and also threw in a ''F-Penelope'' reference at the end of his call. Penelope is Tom Chiusano's wife. Howard didn't think much of it but Tom came in and said that guy calls in regularly. He said he's usually a good caller but he doesn't want his wife being brought up in that way. Howard said he has no control over that. Tom said he is running the show. Howard said Tom really loves his wife. Howard said he's pretty sure that guy has no clout and no one really cares what he says. Jackie said Tom doesn't realize that he just told every caller to say it from now on. Howard said Jackie is right. He said that they like Penelope and it's not right to say that. He said now every caller is going to bring it up. He said you can never let people know when something bothers you. Howard said Tom just cracked. Tom said he's right.
Tom said that he would have been okay with it if the guy had just said ''F Penelope'' and not thrown in her last name. Howard said he understands. Robin said she thinks they just found their new 800 number. Tom said he thinks he's going to slink out of there now.
Howard told Tom to think before he comes in there. He said that guy is funny. Howard took another call and that guy said ''F Penelope'' too. He said he was going to say ''F Timmy'' but he went with that since Tom was so upset about it. Howard and the guys goofed on Tom a little more and then went to break.
In the clip Howard was talking to Janie the Cleaning Lady about music and how they had to have her interpret some James Brown songs for them. Howard said they have her in there to interpret since she did so good with a Leon Spinks interview.
Howard said that he calls Kevin Metheney ''pig virus'' and everyone is calling him that now. Janie didn't like the name though so she wouldn't say it. She also cleans his house so she didn't want to get into trouble with him.
Howard played some James Brown songs for Janie to interpret. Howard played a little bit of one song and Janie tried interpreting. Robin told her she had it wrong though. Howard found another clip for Janie to figure out. She figured that one out pretty quick and said she was impressed with herself. Howard said Janie is real black and she's like the blackest of the black people she knows. She said she was born that way. Howard said she speaks the same language.
Howard found another clip but even Janie wasn't able to figure that one out. She had to have Howard play it a few times. Gary told him to try playing the whole clip. Janie said he was naming the states in that clip. Howard said that's very good. Howard sounded shocked that she figured that out. Howard wanted to figure out some of what he was saying. Howard played more of the clip where James says ''Philadelphia'' but Howard didn't get it. Howard said it makes sense when Janie explains it to him. He said that was as impressive as hell. They were stumped on one part but then Howard played the whole thing and Janie figured it out again. Howard said Janie is a genius.
Howard replayed the whole clip and they had figured out all of the lyrics. Howard said she did a super job on that.
Howard took a call from Imus and asked about a necklace he had gotten. Imus said he didn't send it. Howard said that's what Gary told him. Imus said Gary is an idiot. Gary told Howard it wasn't from Imus, it was from Illen. Howard said he's trying to get to the bottom of this whole thing. Fred said he heard someone sent it to Imus to give to Howard and Imus gave it to Illen to give to Howard. The necklace was a vagina necklace.
Howard said he finds Janie fascinating. Janie said she didn't understand the Beatles when they came out. Howard interrupted and said he belched on the air and he didn't mean to do that. He said he got a dressing down for doing that today. Howard said he'd explain that later though.
Howard got back to Janie and played more clips for her to interpret. He played a clip of one of James Brown's song and Janie told Howard and Robin what he was saying. Howard was impressed once again with her abilities.
In this clip Howard was killing time when B.B. King showed up. Howard talked to B.B. about going on the Carson show and how he went on that show a lot. B.B. explained how he filled in for a big star once. He said he can't say who that person is though. He said Johnny told him any time he wanted to go on the show he should just let him know. Howard wondered if Letterman feels that way about him.
Howard asked B.B. if he's nominated for a Grammy. B.B. said he is nominated for 3. Howard said he's never nominated for anything himself.
Howard asked B.B. how he got his name. B.B. said they used to call him the Blues Boy when he was on radio so they shortened it to B.B.. Howard said they used to call him B.B. because his testicles are so small. Howard said they hung like B.B.'s. Robin said his manager just fainted. B.B. said he had to pull Lucille out from under the table. Howard asked how the guitar got named. B.B. said he was playing in Twist, Arkansas and it used to get cold there. He said they spilled some kerosene inside and it was burning the place down. He said it turns out that the two guys who were fighting and started the fire were fighting over a woman named Lucille. He said that's how he came up with the name for his guitar. He said he had to run back into the club to get that guitar so he named it after that woman.
Howard said that he has to be nuts to run back into a burning building. B.B. said this was in 1949 so there weren't a lot of guitars around. He said that people would steal them and he couldn't just buy another one.
Howard said he thinks that Stuttering John is wasting his time playing guitar so he wants B.B. to evaluate him. John came in but he said he can't play. He said he has some finger problems. Howard told him to play anyway. John picked up a guitar and played. Howard asked if he was nervous. John said of course he is. Howard told him to just play something. John played a little bit and B.B. said he thinks it's good. He said he's got some chops.
Howard said John's guitar is named ''stupid'' and he named it after himself. Howard asked B.B. if he is single. B.B. said he is divorced. Howard said he must get a lot of women. B.B. said he doesn't really have a lot of women coming up to him.
Howard said his second wife must have been hot. B.B. said she was. He said he loves the business and his job. Howard asked how long he was married. B.B. said he was married for 10 years. Howard asked if he had a lot of women coming up to him. B.B. wasn't saying much. He said there were people who could come up to him when he was handsome and young. He said as you get older then it doesn't happen that much. He said the second wife didn't like the traveling so that's why that fell apart. He said she got 50 percent of what he had at the time too. Howard said that's just not right.
Howard said B.B.'s wife deserved half of his guitar strings. B.B. said he's been single for 20 years now. He said he does want to marry again in the next 5 or 10 years. Robin said she can't wait that long. Howard said she can be Mrs. B.B. King. Howard said she doesn't care if he's on the road. Robin said she'd love it if he never came home.
Howard asked B.B. if he has a lot of celebrity friends. B.B. said he doesn't have a lot that he hangs with. Howard said that he is god to him.
B.B. said he's glad he had him on his show. He said he had a good time. Howard said he is the best guitarist out there. He said these white guys come out and copy his work and that's not right. B.B. gave him a B.B. King button on his way out. Howard let him go and wrapped up a short time later.
In the clip Howard had Pat Cooper come in to hang out during Robin's news. Pat figured the show would be over in 7 minutes. Howard said it'll be longer than that.
Robin read some news and had a story about Tom Arnold. She read through that and then Pat said he doesn't know or care anything about Tom Arnold. Pat went on for a few minutes about that. Howard and Pat were talking about how it's all about politics that Tom got his show on after Roseanne's. Pat was getting into his long winded rants during that story.
Robin read some more news about Tom Arnold and how he claims that he was abused as a child. Pat said no one cares. He said that years ago parents would raise their kids and hit them. He said that was just raising kids. Now they call it abuse. Robin read about what Tom was saying about his sexual abuse. Robin said he also got a tattoo of the Alcoholics Anonymous logo on him. Pat went off on him about that too.
After an edited out break Howard came back and Pat was talking about buying his daughter a house. Howard asked if he's getting anything for the other kids. Pat said he doesn't even think of the other kids.
Robin read a story about a mugging in Hempstead, New York and how two women were cut with a knife when they were robbed. Howard said that it's like Hempstead, Africa there. Pat said this will continue until you give pain to the criminal.
Howard said he was watching the news last night and there wasn't one white person on the news. He said that they must be hiding. Pat said they're all in Utah. Howard said he jotted down the stories they ran. He said one was about a rap concert. The next story was about Laura Blackburn. Howard said she allegedly stole money. Howard said the third one was Mike Tyson. He said he wondered if there were any white people living in New York anymore. He said after that they had a woman who puts kids on ice and they died. Howard said the next story was taking abused kids somewhere and letting them have a good time. It was about a drug addict's mother taking care of her kids. Howard said it's grandmothers raising their kids. Howard said he can't relate to any of this. Robin said she's even having trouble. All of that got Pat wound up so he started to go off on people.
After an edited out break Howard said they'd talk to Pat after doing the news. Howard said he just did Letterman and Letterman loved him. Pat said he thinks they got the wrong impression of him. He said they think he insults people and that's not really what he's all about. Howard said Pat is getting all kinds of action now. He's doing commercials now. Pat said that's right. He didn't say what they were though.
Robin read some more news and Pat commented on the stories she'd bring up. He went off on Jerry Vale and some other people during the news. Pat also went off on Joan Rivers for a couple of minutes.
Howard took some calls for Pat and Pat continued to go off on Joan Rivers. Pat said he doesn't have to do her show. Howard figured he could do it and get his point out. Pat said she's calling other people telling him to lay off. He said he doesn't need that. He said she has to cut the crap.
Robin got back to her news after Pat's rant. Robin read through some more stuff. Pat went off on Geraldo during the news too. Out of the blue he just said Geraldo is a scum bag. Howard told Pat he can't say that on the air. Pat said he can too. Howard said he really cant. Pat took it back and said that he's a bag then.
Robin read some news about Michael Jackson and Pat went off on him. Robin read some things about Geraldo and Pat went off on him once again. Pat went on a long rant for a few minutes before Howard had to end the show. Howard said he has a big interview with Joan Rivers coming up. They wrapped up after Pat went on another short rant.
Today's This Date in Howard History was over around 11:20am.
Howard and the guys were back live this morning. Howard started the show talking about being out in Los Angeles. Robin wanted to hear how it went. Howard said Robin was going to join him but she got sick. She still sounds sick. Howard said Beth was sick too so he didn't let her breathe on him.
Howard said he's not sure where to begin. He said he loves his new job. He really loves it. He said he almost went out and got an ''America's Got Talent'' tattoo but he got his dog's name tattooed on him instead. Howard said it's a lot of shleping around. He said he was out there on vacation anyway but he had a lot of America's Got Talent action going on.
Howard said on Wednesday night he went out with the cast of the show and about 10 people from NBC and Fremantle. Howard said they had a roundtable kind of thing going on. He said they didn't have spouses there though. He said it was kind of odd. Howard said he wanted Beth to go with him but then he found out she wasn't invited. Howard said this was a working dinner. He said there was no work being done though. Howard said he was going to bring her anyway but she didn't want to go because she'd feel weird about it. Howard said Beth went out with Molly, Jimmy Kimmel's girlfriend. Howard said Beth had a whole itinerary of her own out there.
Howard said Beth was sick as a dog and she was still running around doing stuff. He said he admires her fortitude. He said she doesn't let it get in the way at all. Howard said he told her she was masking her symptoms by taking medication but she doesn't care. Howard said it's crazy what she does. He said she's not neurotic at all.
Robin said she heard Howard's mom in her head. She said she felt something coming on and she went to Arizona anyway. She said she was going to go to California but one of her friends convinced her to go hiking and it was cold and damp out. Then she was down. Howard said it's not that warm out there at this time of year. Robin said it was snowing out in the Sedona area where she was.
Howard said he's glad Robin didn't come on the private plane. He said he ends up hating everyone. He said it's not really everyone but he gets off the plane and he wants to go to the hotel but he has to worry about everyone's luggage. He said he has to tip everyone and all he wants is it to be as painless as possible. Robin said she wasn't going to be on the plane anyway. Howard said the private plane sounds great until it happens. He said he has to be in charge of the party.
Howard said he ordered food on the plane but they served other people before him. Howard said he told Beth that he's the star there and no one was coming over to him. He said he was the one tipping the people and he didn't get served first. Howard said he didn't know why he was picking through Ronnie's leftovers. Howard said he has the coolest gig and has a private plane and he should be on there alone. Howard said it was annoying. He said no one else tipped the stewardess. Howard said they didn't tip for luggage either.
Howard said his agent asked if he was annoyed on the flight but he was just trying to think about what he had coming up that day. He said this was his first time on this new show. Howard said he was just burying himself in his iPhone and his agent asked if he was annoyed. Howard said he always does this kind of thing before going to work and he doesn't need people bothering him.
Howard said he invited some people to come over and watch the taping. He said you have got to go to a live taping of one of these shows. Howard said they're really fun. He said you have to sit through set ups and stuff but it's a lot of fun. He said it's just great. Howard said it's the greatest show on the planet. He said he stopped watching American Idol because he doesn't want the judges ruining his experience. Howard said he doesn't want to be stereotyping himself so he's going to invent it his own way. He said he's stopped watching the other shows. Robin said she still loves ''The Voice'' so she's not going to stop watching that. Howard said Adam Levine is actually coming in today.
Robin said she didn't know that NBC Universal was in the building they work in. Howard didn't seem to know that either. Howard said he likes this new NBC family because they welcome him in. He said this family he has at Sirius is family that he's suing. Howard said it's unbelievable.
Howard said NBC Universal is his main employer. He said they own Howard TV and America's Got Talent. He said the Sirius thing is more of a part time thing. Robin asked what the deal is with Nick Cannon. Howard said they asked him not to give too much away but there was one point when Nick came out and he asked where Mariah was at. He said he asked Nick about this horrible contestant and asked the contestant if they could give their kidneys to Nick. Howard said Nick is really good at what he does. Howard said he told Nick that he's so much better than Ryan Seacrest. Robin said Ryan is very annoying. Howard said he never makes any mistakes and it's really annoying.
Howard said Nick Cannon's dad is really entertaining. Howard said he thinks he knows who killed Nicole Simpson. Howard said he ran into Nick's dad and he pulled him aside and went into a half hour discourse about who killed Nicole. Howard said he has this whole thing and no one knows about it. Howard said the cops don't even know. Howard said he's not going to say what he told him because he doesn't want to be sued. Then he said that it was Nick Cannon who killed Nicole.
Howard said he asked Nick if he was going to be okay because the guy from the X-Factor was fired and he's probably out to get his job. Robin said she read about Nick going to the hospital again and he had blood clots and stuff. Howard said he had to get on blood thinners and he's safe to fly now. Howard said the guy is tiny and thin too. He said he may have been burning the candle but he's quit his radio job. Howard said he has enough jobs so it's enough.
Howard said Nick is very natural and he's not like Ryan Seacrest. He said he can't stand when someone speaks in a radio voice like Ryan does. Howard said he's not sure what they'll use in the show when it airs though. He said that stuff may not make it on the air.
Howard said they got to the taping and he has a trailer. He said it's a little dumpy but you don't spend much time in it. Howard said they keep you very busy. He said he was nervous about being busy because he doesn't do well with that. Howard said his adrenalin was pumping that day. He said he got up early to get to work and they don't start until 11. Howard said that's when it's time for his nap. He said he had to do a red carpet event thing and then he had to do nonsense stuff not related to the show but for promotion. He said they'll be doing pictures down in Texas when he's down there.
Howard said they fixed him up with make up and they had to spray paint his face. He said he thought it was built just for his ugly face. Robin said they do that with everyone. Howard said Howie is now the cute one on the show. Howard said there are two guys and Howie is better looking than him.
Howard said he wore a John Varvatos outfit on the show. He said he wore a jeans thing instead of a suit. Robin said she wanted him to be more casual so she's glad he did that. Howard said he looked super hot. He wore his shads but took them off a couple times. He said they told him to leave them on the whole time for continuity.
Howard said he left his nasal hair clipper at home and he was freaking out about that. Howard said he had to suck them in to make sure they didn't show.
Howard said on his second day there they give you a break. He said you go in and tape with two different audiences. He said it's very surreal when you walk in. Howard said the audience gave him a hero's welcome and it was like twice as loud as anyone else's. Howard said he got to his chair and everyone was in hysterics. Howard said they were yelling out ''Fafa Fooey'' and ''Robin's breasts!'' and things like that. Howard said it's like The Thunderdome. Howard said it's insane. He said he felt bad for the talent. Howard said it's wild because when you're judging the audience is behind you and it's 2000 people screaming. He said the quiet down for the acts but if you suck they go berserk.
Howard said he's not sure how they're going to edit it but if they capture half of it then it's going to be great. He said that the audience is mostly their people and they are great judges. Howard said they boo him and he has to turn around and look at them. He said he has to tell them that it's his opinion that counts. He said it really is the Thunderdome.
Howard said this weekend he's going to San Francisco. He said he knows Gary has some tickets. Robin said she's going out for that one. Howard said it's really insane to watch so if you can make it then come out. Howard said they have one more open audition left. He said they only put through a few people out there so there's lots of room left for acts to get through.
Howard said this is his first time ever doing this so he learned some stuff. Howard said they had two acts that he didn't put through that he thought about and he should have put them through. Howard said most of the people who show up are not a million dollar act at that point. He said you should put them through to Vegas to give them another chance. Robin said that's what Howie would try to say to Piers. Howard said Howie is right. Howard said you do have to find the people with a germ if ideas though.
Howard said there is one more audition at the Jacob Javits center in new York City on the 27th. He said you can find out more at AGTAuditions.com
Howard said you can try out all kinds of things out there at the show. He said they have some new things they'll be doing this season.
Howard said he told them out there that they have to get his food to his trailer on time so he can give them a good performance. He said he's not being a diva though. Robin said he is being a diva. That's the definition of a diva. Howard said they had a big truck full of snacks out there and he didn't want any of that. Howard said he needs good food so he doesn't get all fat. Howard said he still looks like shit. He said he saw himself on the press line and it wasn't good. Howard said the camera men were shooting up from below so he looks horrible. He said he has to get on his knees from now on so he doesn't look like a monster.
Howard said Ronnie came in and said it smelled like salmon in there. Howard said he figured the salmon smell was better than shit. Howard said he doesn't care if anyone else smells it but he didn't want Beth smelling the shit. Howard said when he came back from taping the smell was gone. He said he was really nervous.
Howard said he slammed a buzzer on a 9 year old. He said you have no idea what it's like to do that. He said he hit the buzzer because the kid was horrible. He said he has so many moments he wants to share but he can't. He said he wants to tell Robin about every act.
Howard said people were telling him how great he was out there. He said he was told that the brass out there loved it all. He said by the end of the show all of the judges were arguing. Howard said he was way more compassionate than Howie and Sharon at times. He said that they were way rougher than him at some points. He said he put a boy band through and they were kind of fruity. He said that Howie was arguing with him about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who was at a taping on Friday night. He said he saw Beth there and she looked so hot. Howard said he told Stamos to come down too. He said they were sitting together. He said he told the audience that he was very secure. He said they were saying that he was fingering her out there. Howard said they had a great energy there. The caller agreed. He said Howard got the most applause. He said the taping was a lot of fun too. He said Howard looked great too. Robin asked if he was gay. He said he is but he's not sexually attracted to Howard. Howard said gay men are usually repulsed by him.
Howard asked the caller how he can look great but not turn him on. the caller said he looked really good and he's too hard on himself. Howard said he had a lot of fun out there. Robin said it's great that he likes it because it would be horrible if he hated it. Howard said he felt like he was walking into an established set up and he had no idea what it was going to be like. Howard said the producer would tell them that they were on and he had no idea what to do. He said that it was much more complicated than he expected. He said they had to stop taping at a couple of points because he was talking to the judges instead of the camera.
Howard said they assign you to the contestants so you're the one interviewing them. Howard said he likes the idea that it wasn't about him though. He said he's just a part of the show. He said the show is successful and they just need a judge. Howard said that's what he's doing out there.
Howard said Howie is doing his thing out there and Sharon is doing her thing. He said she looks fabulous too. Robin said she was on The Talk talking about how she has new breasts, a new neck and some other things. Howard said he didn't know what to do once he sat down. He said he wanted to be himself and not be Piers, Simon, L.A. Reed or anyone else. He said he wants to be comfortable doing what he's doing. Robin asked how he could be L.A. Reed. Howard said he'd just get a purple sweater.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was there on Friday too. He said he was right behind Howard. He said he was very smooth and witty and did a good job. Howard said he has his philosophy for how to judge now. He said he wasn't sure what he wanted but now he does. Howard said he knows what he's looking for now. The caller said Howard was smooth and he took it seriously. He said at one point Sharon put someone through and he's not sure she was taking it as seriously as Howard.
Howard said he wrote down some notes about what he wanted to say on the air. He said Howie saw him with notes and he asked what they were. Howard said Howie pointed it out and said that he likes how serious he's taking it. Howard said of course he's taking it seriously. This could mean something huge for someone's career.
The caller said Ronnie is a real asshole. He said that he didn't take a picture with them. Howard said he's glad he didn't do that. Ronnie was out there to work and he'd get pissed if he saw him taking pictures with fans.
Robin said she missed all of the excitement of this first one. Howard said the rest of them will be good too. The caller said he thought it was very surreal to see him in person. He said it was really great to see him there and he thought he was great doing what he did.
Howard said he had a great time doing it. Robin said this reminds him of the book signings and the fans getting to come out and see him. Howard said that they had Howard TV out there too.
Robin said that she saw Jon Leiberman on CNN doing a show. Howard said he gets notes about that all the time. He said he's fine with him doing that. He said that he can force him to wear that yellow Howard 100 News jacket.
The caller said Howard looked great too. Howard said he had a lot of make up on and he told Beth not to smudge it. He said it was the most feminine thing he's ever said.
Howard said they ended up going to this place that he didn't remember the name of. Howard said the guy's name was Connor. Howard said they were out there getting tattooed and Ronnie saw a picture on the wall so he told the guy to put it on him. He said it was beautiful but the guy is wild just getting it so quickly.
Ronnie said the tattoo place was Timeless Tattoo. He said that the guy ''had drew'' this tattoo. Howard had to correct him on his grammar. Howard said that Ronnie's grammar is really bad. He said that he was writing about ''turmoil'' one day and he wrote ''term oil'' instead. Howard said that he's so dopey that he wrote ''term oil.'' Howard said he has his own language. Howard asked how he got out of high school.
Ronnie did a good job out there according to Howard. Howard said he was very pleased with what he did. Howard said he didn't want to see him looking at the stage. He wanted Ronnie watching him. He said the whole audience wanted to look at Ronnie. Ronnie said they were all screaming at him. He said they were asking when he was going to stand up.
Howard said they had a coffin in the tattoo place. They use it as a bench to sit on. Robin said that's disgusting. Howard said they're getting a baby coffin and he wanted to stick Ronnie in there. Howard said he took a picture of Ronnie in the full size coffin and he tweeted it out. Howard said two seconds later he got tweets back about how disrespectful it was. He said they accused him of making fun of Whitney Houston's funeral. Howard said people are such assholes on Twitter. He said he was done after that.
Howard said Ronnie looks good in a casket. He said he looks kind of mummified. Robin said he looked very natural and happy in there.
Howard said Ronnie saw this skull with a grasshopper coming out of its eye. Ronnie said it was a cricket. He said there's an eyeball coming out of the other socket. Howard said Ronnie asked if he could get that one and he ended up paying for it. Ronnie showed it to Robin. She got a laugh out of that.
Ronnie said they had this Tiffany Granath from the Playboy channel. He said she made reservations with them and she was bringing her friend from the Howard Stern Show. Howard said they used his name and she shouldn't do that. Ronnie said he didn't know she was doing that. He said he knew it when he walked in. Howard told Ronnie to tell his friends not to use the show.
Howard said he was upset with him bashing Beacher's when he got kicked out. Ronnie said he did that because they treated him like shit. Howard said he can't trash the guy. He said that they were pissed and that's why they treated him that way. Howard said they made the reservation under false pretence.
Gary said that the guy that Ronnie yelled at was Beacher himself. Howard said the guy is pissed because he flew in from Vegas because he thought Howard Stern was going to be there. Ronnie said they were in the restaurant 15 minutes later and he was apologizing. He said that he was nervous because he thought that they were going to get on the show. Howard said that Beacher has always treated the people from the show well and he ran back from Vegas to be there.
Howard told Ronnie to tell his friends not to mention his name. Howard said he can't do that. Ronnie said he didn't know she did that. Robin said he's still not angry at her because she's a hot chick. Howard said he wants Ronnie to tweet something nice about Beacher today. Ronnie said David (Arquette) has some things to say about him too. Howard said he can leave that to David to do then.
Howard said he doesn't want Ronnie going out when they're on these trips. He said he does so well and then fucks it up. Ronnie said he didn't do anything. Robin said he had a friend who did it. Ronnie said he didn't know that she did it.
Howard took a call from Melrose Larry Green who was at the taping out there in Los Angeles. He had signs outside but he didn't get them inside. Melrose said he didn't know he could bring them in.
Howard said he's still on this Beacher's thing and said that Beacher was scammed and he didn't appreciate that. Howard said Ronnie has to tell his friends not to use his name.
Melrose said Howard was brilliant as a judge. Howard said he's glad he took the job. He said it was good. He asked Ronnie if he had a good time. Ronnie said it was work but it didn't feel like it. He said that it wasn't that hard because people were so great out there. He said it works like a machine. Howard said they have to set up for some of the acts and they work really fast.
Melrose told Howard he was brilliant talking about the shit earlier. He said he was laughing so hard he pissed off his neighbors. Howard told the story again and Larry was laughing the whole time.
Ronnie asked if he talked about him hanging out with Bruce Willis. Howard said he didn't get to that yet. He said he has a new personal friend by the name of Sandy Bullock too.
Howard had Jeff Beacher on the phone so he picked up on him. Howard apologized for the screw up. Jeff said that he was on vacation and he had to get back to Los Angeles to see him.
Ronnie asked Jeff if he has a guy by the name of Espinoza there. Jeff said that they got a call from a girl who said that Howard was coming in with people from the show. Jeff said that's when he flew home. Howard said that's why he's pissed. Jeff said he had to be there to see the person who told them that Howard was coming out. Ronnie said he didn't know anything about this. Jeff said that the women were saying they didn't know who they were and they were going to bury him on the radio. Howard said he heard about that. Ronnie said he never said he'd bury him on the radio. He said he'd do it on Twitter. Howard said this is why he's pissed.
Ronnie said he treated him like a piece of shit. Jeff said that this show has made his career. Jeff said he'd do anything for anyone on the show but the girls were so obnoxious and they wouldn't own up to it. He said they were screaming at him to get Jeff Beacher so he told them to get the fuck out of there. Howard thanked him for the explanation.
Robin said that Ronnie's not even listening to what Beacher just said. He flew home from vacation to be there. Ronnie said that he didn't know what was going on. Robin said his friends should take responsibility. Ronnie said Jeff could have pulled him to the side and told him what was going on. He said he didn't have to tell them to get the fuck out of there.
Howard said if Ronnie is in Vegas and he hears that Howard Stern is coming in and you fly home to see him then you're going to get pissed. Ronnie said he didn't know. Howard said he has to tell his friends not to use his name. Ronnie said he was told that she put it in under her name. Jeff said that's not what happened though.
Howard told Ronnie to tweet out now about this. Ronnie said he can't do that during the show. Howard said he's giving him permission.
Ronnie said that he had no idea this was going on and he shouldn't be the one that's getting yelled at. Robin said that Beacher didn't know that Ronnie didn't know. Robin said it's always this way with Ronnie. Ronnie asked what happened to the new Robin. Robin said she's not emasculating him. She's just trying to talk. Ronnie said there is no ''new Robin.'' He said she's the same Robin as always. Robin said she loves Ronnie and all guys are great. She said she is a new person. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and talked about the Grammy's and McCartney's performance. Howard said that he liked it when they got up at the end and jammed with Springsteen and Dave Grohl and all of those guys. Howard had the audio clip there to play. Howard said JD pulled it for him. Howard said they had really high ratings on the Grammy's this year. Robin said she thinks it has to do with Whitney Houston dying.
Howard said Governor Chris Christie lowered the flag for Whitney. Howard said she was all cracked up and it's just not right. Howard said they lower the flag for people who have died for this country or dedicated their life to the country. Howard said you take away from lowering the flag when you do something like this. Robin said it was only the New Jersey flag and she thinks that he had to do it. Howard said they also did it for Clarence Clemens and Frank Sinatra. Howard said they should limit it for public servants. Robin said that Whitney did a lot for New Jersey so she doesn't have a problem with it.
Howard said he likes Bobby Brown because he's so consistently fucked up. Howard said the guy showed up with a body guard to an invitation only funeral. He showed up with a body guard and kids from another marriage. Robin said the whole thing is stupid. She said they probably didn't want him there at all. She said it was late in the week when they put him on the list. He was on the list as a plus 3 and he showed up with 9. Then he wanted to sit in the family section.
Howard said the Enquirer had a story about her the week before and she had collapsed in this story. Howard said they had it right about her downfall.
Robin said that Kevin Costner did a great speech at the funeral. Robin said that he really did something big for her when he put her in that movie ''The Bodyguard.'' Robin said that he waned her in it and he fought for her to be in it. Howard said he didn't know that. Robin said he was the producer of the movie.
Robin said that Tyler Perry got up and pretended to be a preacher at the funeral. Howard said he never gets to go to cool funerals like that.
Howard got back to the Grammy discussion and played the clip of McCartney and the other guys jamming at the end of the show. Howard blasted through some of McCartney's stuff until he got to the drumming part. Howard said he thought that guy was great. Howard was just skipping over most of the performance. He got to the drumming and let it play from there.
Howard said McCartney ran over and grabbed a guitar to play lead. He said he's never seen him do that. Fred said he saw him do it at the Apollo. Howard said he knows Bruce, Dave Grohl and Paul were up there but he thought there was another one. Gary said that was it. The other two were his own guitarists.
Howard said it was a pretty good Grammy show. He said that fat chick Adele is really good. He said she sings really well and puts a lot of people to shame. Howard said he feels bad for Lady Gaga dressing up the way she does and no one even pays attention to her. Robin said that outfit thing is over. Howard said he liked Dave Grohl's speech about recording in his garage.
Howard said that Deadmau5 guy was weird. He said they had a whole bunch of techno guys just playing records. Howard said there were other people with mouse heads on and they were scary. He said that the audience with mouse heads look like douche bags. He said they should wear dildos on his head.
Gary said that mouse guy makes records. He said his son knows that music. Gary said he heard that they'll play shit off their iPod and they'll just go out in the audience and spin and scratch on their iPod. Howard said he'd never have the balls to do something like that. Howard said he'd be afraid that someone would lynch him.
Gary said there's another guy who does that and they have a huge audience. Howard said there were girls tweeting about how they wish Chris Brown would beat them. Howard said the Deadmau5 real name is Joel Zimmerman. Howard said they also said that Rihanna is doing another song with Chris Brown. He just said ''wow.''
Gary said that Nikki Minaj was a bad lip syncer. He said that she's from the Bronx but she'll break into an English accent.
Howard said people have said Robin has been breaking into an English accent lately. He said he has proof too. Howard said they have tape of her out in the hall doing that.
Howard said Bill O'Reilly was on his show talking about how they all knew something was going on with Whitney and they should have done something. Howard wondered what anyone could have done. Howard said Bill didn't do anything. He was busy writing a book about Abraham Lincoln that has so many inaccuracies in it that the Ford's Theater won't even carry it. Howard said they say there are over 360 inaccuracies. Gary said he saw a guy reading it and he figured the guy was retarded.
JD brought in the clip of Robin talking in the hall and using an English accent. Howard played that clip and Robin said ''Oh that's right'' in an English accent. Howard said he didn't hear it. Even Robin noticed it though. Howard said he had to take a break.
Howard ended up talking about hanging out with George Clooney and a bunch of other guys like Al Michaels and his wife. Howard said he didn't party before work. He stuck around out there for the party. He said the party was nice. Howard said he hung out with Bob Iger and Alex Waloo and some others.
Howard said that Jillian Barberie is the best. He said within 10 minutes she fell into Jimmy's pool. Howard said she was walking around and just fell in. Howard said he thinks she did damage control by bringing it up on her own show. Howard played some audio of that.
Howard said he didn't see it happen but he heard it was very funny. Howard said he was hanging with Sandra Bullock when it happened. Jillian talked about falling in and just standing there drying off. Howard said that Stacy Keibler was there too and they did a dial-a-date with her years ago out in Las Vegas. Howard said didn't remember it but Gary reminded him of it this morning. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who said he's going to be at the America's Got Talent taping on Friday. He asked what it's like for the crowd. Howard said he's going to have a blast. Howard said they have a warm up guy to keep the audience going. He said that it's mostly his fans out there and they all have a great time. Howard said he's never had so much fun. He said he thinks the caller will have a blast. Howard said Gary has some tickets for the fans if you want. He said you can give Gary a call and get them.
Howard said he was looking at pictures of Adam Levine's girlfriend in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Gary said she's actually there. Adam wants to come in alone first though.
Howard said Adam is on The Voice and he's a judge on that show. Howard said that show is doing very well and they're tied with American Idol in the ratings. Robin said Adam is gorgeous. Howard had him come in and told Robin not to look at his ass. Robin said he has a cute ass.
Adam wondered where his microphone was. Howard pointed it out on the side if his headset. Adam said he felt like he was in N Sync or something. Adam mentioned David Lee Roth wearing one too. He said he found that odd. Howard said he thinks their new song ''Tattoo'' is great. Robin said she keeps singing it over and over again. Howard said he read no one is buying the new album. Adam said they've been doing it forever and it's tough for anyone to sell albums now.
Howard said he thought he wanted to be a rock star but now that he sees how hard it is to maintain it he's glad he's not. Adam said it's so fun though. He said a lot of people don't appreciate what they've got. He said he's been totally broke at times in his life and this whole thing has been crazy for him. He said he appreciates what he has. He said it's really fun too.
Howard said he read that Adam is worth $15 million but if he was putting them out 15 years ago he'd be worth hundreds of millions. Adam said things used to be crazy. He said if you were a low, mid-level band you had your own plane. He said things got out of control and people died so things have changed. He said that he thinks they can control it more than they used to be able to.
Howard said he worshiped bands growing up and now it's kind of like everyone is interchangeable. Adam said it is tough.
Howard asked Adam how he worked with Christina Aguilera on ''Moves Like Jagger.'' Adam said the whole story was kind of crazy. He said he loves her voice and she's unbelievable. He said everything kind of came together with the show and all of that and then they did the song.
Howard asked if Adam was upset that she got more money doing the show. Adam said it didn't matter in the beginning. He said that he was totally fine with it. He said they all got hooked up and things have been remedied now. He said that they have a great chemistry and things are good. Howard asked if he signed for many years. Adam said he was signed for 3 years. Howard said they could have held him up to that contract. Adam said they could have but he's cool with what he has now.
Howard asked how hard it was to decide to do ''The Voice'' when you don't know it's going to be a hit. Adam said it was a scary thing. He said their album had just come out and it was doing very well. It wasn't as big as he had hoped. He said that he didn't think it was over or anything. He said it was more about making another move to do something different. He said Mark Burnett came to him and showed him the Dutch version of the show.
Howard asked if he was the first to sign. Adam said he thinks he heard that Cee Lo had signed first. Howard said that Steven Tyler freaked his band out doing this. Adam said they're not like Aerosmith so it wasn't that bad.
Howard said that they have 16.5 million viewers and he bets they never expected that. Adam said it's great. Howard said he had so much fun taping America's Got Talent. Adam said he knew Howard was going to enjoy it.
Howard got back to the ''Moves Like Jagger'' song again. Adam told Howard that Mark Burnett was so instrumental in this whole thing. He said he co-wrote the song with like 500 other people. Adam said he let Mark hear the song and it kind of started with Mark. He said that he wanted to get it on the show and to get a female vocalist on it. Howard asked if she was tough to get on the song. Adam said that it wasn't tough at all. She was into it. Adam said he knew that she'd be good.
Howard asked why Christina got so heavy. Adam said that she likes to wear tight clothes. Howard said they're too tight though, right? Howard said when you're a plus sized model you can't wear that. Adam and Robin said she's not plus sized. Gary asked Robin if she's a size 12. Robin said no way. Adam said he's keeping his mouth shut.
Howard said he talked about how much fun he had doing America's Got Talent. He said he had a blast doing it. Howard said he loves Howie and Sharon too. He said they had a blast doing the show. Howard said he heard that Christina would make them wait for like an hour. Adam said that did drive him nuts at first but not anymore. Adam said that in the beginning she was late but it ended and she isn't like that anymore. Adam said he and Christina had some tension there in the beginning but it wasn't sexual tension. He said they're cool now though.
Howard said he gets how close you work with people now that he's doing this other show. He said he can see why you'd need to bring in someone to negotiate.
Adam said he likes how Howard, Howie and Sharon all know each other. He said that's good for the show. Robin asked about working with Cee Lo Green and what that's like Adam said he's great and he thinks he'd be great on the show. He said that Blake Shelton would be great too. Howard said he seems like an okay guy but he doesn't like his music. Adam said he thinks he'd be great on this show too.
Adam told Howard about hanging out with Blake on New Year's Eve. He said they went to his house and he lives in this big, metal shack. He said he loves the guy for that. He said you walk in and there are deer heads and things like that hanging on the wall. He said it was a funny kind of vacation for him. Howard asked if he had any Jew heads hanging on the wall. Adam jokingly said that he thought they invited him there to hunt him. He said that he told him he had 5 minute head start and he had to run out of the shack.
Howard asked about Kelly Clarkson and if she has a boyfriend. Adam said she was staying at their estate doing something. He said she was on the New Year's show. Howard said she let her weight go too. Robin said Kelly has slimmed down. Adam said he's out of that conversation. He said he knew he was going to get trapped into these discussions.
Howard said he tells the people on America's Got Talent that it is about appearances. He said that he can't talk much about it but he does tell people that it does matter. Adam said he can't wait to see Howard on the show. He said he knows that Howard is going to piss people off. Howard said he only got into one fight with one guy on the show. He said he got some shit from the guy and he had to give it back to him. He said he doesn't curse though. Adam asked if he starts cursing once he gets back to the show. Howard said he does.
Howard asked Adam about going on The Voice and how things blew up for them. He said Adam has always been a fabulous guest. He said he saw him on the show and he gets kind of territorial. He said he got a little jealous that they took him for that show.
Howard asked if Adam's life has changed at all since he got on the show. Adam said it has changed drastically. He said that they're huge now. Adam said that people stop him in the airport and all of that. Adam said there's fame and then there's TV fame. He said Howard is going to hate it. He said it is different. Adam said that he doesn't want to be a complainer but it is something you have to prepare for. Howard said he's looking forward to it. Adam said that the Paparazzi are around but they're not stalking him or anything.
Howard asked Adam about his girlfriend, Anne Vyalitsyna, and how he gets something like that. Howard said the last time he was there he had some other girlfriend. Adam said that was years ago. It was four years ago. Howard asked what the parting gift was when he broke up with her. Adam said there was no parting gift. He said he's not a big fan of that idea.
Howard said Adam lived with her though. Adam said they weren't really living together. He said they dated for a year and a half. He said he doesn't give parting gifts. Robin asked if Anne is leaving now that she heard that. Howard asked how he ends it with these girls. Adam said he doesn't know. He said he doesn't ever want to not be with the person he's with. He said sometimes things just don't work.
Howard said some guys text their break ups. Howard said he broke up over Twitter seven times. Howard said these girls must fall hard for Adam. Adam said he's a nerd and he's not that cool. Howard said he heard that he walks around his house naked a lot. Adam said he's not completely naked. He said he might be wearing underwear. He said Anne might be naked... or maybe not. He said he can't speak for her.
Howard asked how long he's been seeing this girl. Adam said it's been two years. He said that's the longest he's dated someone. He said that she travels constantly. He said she's very successful. Howard asked what she has that the last one didn't have. Adam said he doesn't know.
Howard said he can see what she has. He's looking at it. Adam said the truth is that it's a case by case basis. He said there is no checklist in his mind. Howard asked if he has to call a modeling agency to get her. Adam said he has to ask if she's okay with talking about how they met. Howard had Gary bring Anne in.
Howard asked how old Anne is. Adam said she's 17. Anne said she's actually 25. Howard asked how she was tapped to do the Sports Illustrated issue. He said she's stunning. Howard found out she's been modeling 10 years since she was 15. Howard asked if she's in love with Adam. Anne said yes. Howard asked if she thinks that he's going to move on to another girl eventually. Adam said he's been going out with her for 2 years. Howard asked why she's not living with him. She said that they do technically live together. She said she does travel a lot.
Howard said Anne's English is pretty good. Adam said she's been in that Sports Illustrated magazine for 8 years in a row. Howard said it must be tough to be in there with no top on. Anne said that they actually don't want them to work out and they want them to be curvy so they let you eat. She said she's critical about herself and she feels she has a pregnant belly in those pictures. Howard asked if they give photo approval. She said she has to go with what they want.
Howard asked Adam how he met this girl. Adam said it's very cliché but it's funny. Howard asked if she's a mail order bride. Adam jokingly said that's exactly what it was. Howard asked how he really met her. Adam said their band was booked at the Sports Illustrated release party 2 years ago. He said he was willing to do that show for free. He said it was in Vegas and they had met before. Adam said it all started about 6 months before this party. He said he was going on a date with another girl that was casual. He said the girl on the date never went anywhere. Howard asked if girls like Anne. Anne said she's very much like a dude and girls do like her.
Adam said that this girl brought Anne on the date and they didn't' like each other at all. He said he thought she was stuck up. Anne said she was there as emotional support for her friend. She said that she had never gone out with someone in the public eye before. Howard asked if her friend is mad at her for stealing him away. Anne said she's not at all.
Anne said she thought Adam was a douche bag musician and Adam thought she was stuck up. Adam said they just didn't hit it off but they weren't supposed to. Howard asked if they're going to have kids. Adam said he would like to have them some day. Howard said he still uses a rubber. Adam said he will be vague and say that they have safe sex. He said that's all he wanted to say. Howard said Anne was making a face like she doesn't use a rubber. Adam said he doesn't but they do have ''safe'' sex. Howard said he must pull out then. Adam said they control it.
Howard kept asking what they do but Adam refused to answer. He was being very vague. Adam kept saying it was ''safe'' but Howard said only a rubber is safe sex. Adam said it's just safe. Anne said that it's never 100 percent safe but they're dealing with it. Howard asked if she'd have an abortion if she got pregnant. Anne said that they'd have to talk about that if it happened. Howard said she should have the kid. He said it would be gorgeous.
Adam said that he does pull out and he does all of that stuff Howard was talking about. Howard asked if he puts his stuff on her stomach. Fred threw in a splat sound as they were talking about that. Adam asked Howard to stop it when he asked where the load is put. Anne said they're like anyone else out there.
Howard said this is a good discussion to have. Anne said that this is good. She said she's excited to see how far Howard can push them.
Adam said one of the best things about having a girlfriend that you love is that you don't need to use a condom. He said that's the beauty of having a relationship like that. Howard said he doesn't want to have kids so he uses a condom. He said that sometimes things can drip in there and you don't even know it. Adam said that is true. Howard said he's had a discussion with Beth about the pregnancy thing and she would have the kid no matter what. Howard said she'd even have it if it was retarded. Howard said he can't be chasing after some kid so he's going to try and prevent it. Howard said Beth would have it no matter what. He asked if they can imagine a retarded baby with his face. Adam said they'd have the baby too.
Howard asked Anne if she does runway. She said she does. She's going to Milan today actually. Howard said she must be pulling down a million a year. She said she does. Howard said she's some catch. Howard had to take a breath. Adam said it was great when she bought him dinner for the first time. Howard said he wishes that someone would buy him dinner.
Howard asked how they met again. Adam said they didn't like each other on that date with the other girl. He said they just didn't hit it off. Anne said she was not attracted to him at all. Adam said he did thin she was beautiful. He said they were put off by each other's energy though. Anne said he wasn't her type. Adam said she's everyone's type so he was attracted.
Howard asked Adam how long he can last with her. Howard said he can't last more than a minute with Beth. Adam said he can go 10 minutes. Howard said he can't go more than a minute. He said he just cant slow down. Adam didn't believe it. Anne asked what Beth gets out of it. Howard said ''Nothing!'' Howard said he's just kidding. He said he's really good in bed. Howard said Beth gets to look at him.
Adam got back to the story of how they met. He said time went by and he knew that Anne was going to be at this Sports Illustrated party. Anne said she wanted to go back a little bit. She said that she knows they were supposed to be together. She said she ran the marathon in New York and she threw out her back before this party. She said she had to be drunk to walk in heels. She said that she wasn't able to sleep or walk. She said she had to be hammered at the show.
Adam said that she had been binge drinking before the party. Adam kept getting thrown off the story. He said that his publicist is shitting her pants right now. Howard was asking them about doing drugs but Adam said they don't do that stuff.
Adam said he got to Vegas the night before the show. He went to this reception and no one is allowed in. He said the first person he saw was Anne. He said it was like in a fantasy when you see someone and ask them if they want a drink. Anne said that she was happy to see him and he knew she wasn't. Adam said the tequila started happening and they talked for 20-30 minutes. He said they got very personal and things were leading in this direction. He said they forgot that they didn't like each other. Adam said the interesting part is that both of them were very discreet. He said he's not going to lick someone's face in public or anything. Adam said he's not like that. He said it wasn't her style either. Anne said the magic just happened and they started kissing.
Adam said they got drunk and he told her to come back to his place. She said no and invited him back to her place. Anne said she told him she wasn't going to sleep with him. Adam said they went back to her hotel room and made out and he may have gotten to second base. He said that their shirts were off and their underwear was on. He said it was a lot of staring into each other's eyes and stuff like that. He said there was nothing else going on.
Howard said that's hot that he didn't bang her. Adam said they were hammered so his penis wasn't going to work anyway. He said there was no below the belt stuff going on. Adam told Howard to just listen. He said he woke up the next morning and she was gone. He said the place was a mess too. He said she's really not messy though. Adam said she was gone from the hotel room and he felt like he had been used. He said she was playing him and she knew what she was doing. She said she was actually working.
Adam said he left her a note and tested her by giving her his number. He said she texted him back and told him to come to where she was at. Adam said he didn't want to do that. He said he wanted to go on a date, not meet her friends. He said she was all about territory and it was very well played.
Anne said she wasn't sure if he was cool or not and she was talking to her friends about him. Adam said he texted her that day and didn't hear back from her. He said that the party was that night and the next 6 hours were agonizing. He said he thought he had lost and wasn't going to get the girl. He said he went to take a nap in his hotel room. Howard asked if he jerked off. He said of course he did. Howard asked how many tissues he used. Adam said he doesn't use tissues. He said he cleans up with towels. Howard asked where it all lands. Adam said it lands in the general area. Howard asked if he still masturbates. Adam said he does when she's not around. He said that she's not around a lot so he has to jerk off. He said she was away for 6 weeks one time so that was hard. He said that's the worst part of the relationship. He said they never see each other.
Anne said they have a very non-traditional relationship and they have to figure out what they can give to each other.
Howard got back to the jerking off discussion and how Adam does it. Howard said he does it into a tissue and flushes it away. Adam said he doesn't care about the evidence and he'll just leave it everywhere. Howard asked Ann if she thinks it's disgusting. She didn't seem to have a problem with it.
Howard asked Adam about the story about how they met. Adam said that he was freaking out that she didn't get back to him. He said he went to the show and felt pretty bad about himself. He said they did their red carpet thing and she was right there. He said she was right before him and walking up the escalator. He said she gave him a look like it wasn't over. He said he thought about her the whole time he was doing the show. He said after the show they quarantine the models off so you can't get near them. Adam said he saw her up there and he was standing there trying to find her in the crowd. Adam said she came out and he told her to come down. Adam said that night was incredible. He said they went out and had a good time. Anne said they didn't bang because her back was still thrown out. She said they did get so drunk that they almost got married.
Howard asked how long it was before they did bang. They said it was 10 days or 2 weeks or so. Adam said she was really messed up that night they were in Vegas. He said her back was really screwed up. He said it's probably best that they didn't have sex that night.
Adam said they left Vegas together and they've been together ever since. Anne said that he stayed with her in New York and then she went to L.A. with her dog. Howard asked Anne about how much she put out in that two weeks before they had sex. Adam said it was just fooling around. Anne said she didn't do anything but Adam said that she did do some stuff with him during that two weeks.
Howard asked if the sex was good right away. Anne and Adam said it was good right away. Howard asked if he was able to give her an orgasm. She said it didn't happen right away.
Howard asked Adam if he has a big schlong. Anne said she knew he was going to ask. She said that he's not the biggest she's ever had. Howard asked if Leonardo DiCaprio was the biggest. She said she didn't date him. Howard said he read she did. She said that's not true. Howard said that she must have some names that she's dated. She said that Adam has more than she does.
Howard asked Adam if he'd stay with her if she was disfigured in a car accident. Adam said he did tell her he wouldn't be able to stay with her. Anne said that she'd cut off his balls if he left her like that.
Howard said he sees these relationships that get fucked up by the guy and he doesn't get it. Howard said this Jesse James has to be out of his mind screwing it up with Sandra Bullock. Howard said that Adam should ask her to marry him right now. Howard asked her himself since Adam didn't do it.
Howard asked Anne to describe her outfit to everyone. She was wearing a tank top that had a bra built into it. Robin said she's going to go out and tear her shirt to look like that.
Howard said this is the great thing about being a musician. Adam said he didn't join a band to get girls. He stayed in a band to get girls. He said in school it wasn't so cool to be in a band. He said that if you weren't playing sports then you were a dork.
Howard asked Adam about working on The Voice and how much time he has to do that show. Adam said they do more than they do on America's Got Talent. He said he has never been consumed by so much work before. Howard asked if he cares if his person wins on the show. Adam told Howard about what it's been like for him on the show and how he was like the deer in the headlights at first.
Howard said Howie and Sharon have been doing this show for years and he was like a deer in the headlights. He said it was a big learning curve for him. Adam said it was for him too but he picked up on it quickly. Howard said he's very caught up in the whole thing. He really wants to find talent.
Howard said the prize money on The Voice is kind of weak. He said $100,000 isn't all that much. Adam said he likes it being that amount. He said he's not sure that you should get 5 million like Simon has pushed it to on his show. He said that it's just an incentive to do your own thing.
Howard and Adam spent a couple of minutes talking about the talent shows and what they think of them. Howard asked why The Voice is so successful. Adam said he thinks that the chemistry of the judges is one thing and it has to work or the show doesn't work. He said they might need a gimmick too. He said you need something that's left of center of what the other shows do. Adam said he might not have done the show if he was just sitting on a throne telling people what he thinks.
Howard asked that they have learned today. He said they spoke for over and hour. Robin said they learned Adam uses a towel. Howard gave Adam some plugs for The Voice and Anne some plugs for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition she's in.
Anne said she also wrote a book but it's not out yet. Adam said that he also wanted to say that if you don't have the biggest or smallest penis then it's probably okay. Anne said it's perfect. Adam said that it's better to be a grower and not a show-er. He said that you can tuck it away that way.
Howard said that he and Adam are both in the NBC family so he's happy about that. Howard said they had a judges dinner the night before the shoot and they welcomed him into the NBC family but they don't know that they kicked him out back in the early 80s. Howard said they have a whole new regime over there now so it's all new.
Howard asked Anne what her book is about. She said it's a children's book. Howard said she's going to need it now that they know Adam doesn't wear a condom.
Howard asked if Anne has been with another girl. She said she thinks it would get too weird for them if they did. Howard said that he should take her to a strip club and then something will happen. Adam said it's a slippery slope and he's not going for it. Howard said he took Beth to a club once and the girls were all over her and he blew a load in his pants. He said it just happened. Howard said he was jealous of the girls too. Howard said he was leaning on Beth's back and he blew a load in his pants. He said that never happens. He said he never had a wet dream as a kid. He said he only had wet nightmares.
Howard told Adam to give his best to Cee Lo and ''that country guy'' Blake Shelton. Anne and Adam said that he would be great on this show. Adam said Blake would be more open about sex stuff than he was. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that The Walking Dead is such a good show. He said the show is back on. He said he's all about that, Being Human and Fringe. Robin said Talking Dead is good too. That's on after The Walking Dead.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon came in and ran down his list of subjects for today's show. They spent a short time talking about Adam Levin and Anne. Howard also talked about his time out in L.A. doing America's Got Talent. Howard said he felt like a mess after hitting the buzzer on a 9 year old. He said that was really tough. He said he had a discussion with a 7 year old about his father too. He said the kid's father was really nice to her and she started to give him a speech. He didn't want to give away too much about that though. He said they do want some surprises about the show. He said that they don't want him to give it all away.
Jon mentioned the Jimmy Kimmel party so Howard said he's going to talk about that tomorrow since they're running out of time. He also has to talk about Michelle Bachman and what she said about him. Howard said that's all coming up tomorrow.
Jon mentioned Robin going to another seminar so Howard said that has to be a horrible way to spend a weekend. Robin said it's actually great. She said she's learning a lot. Howard said he's never using a hotel towel after hearing Adam's story about jerking off into hotel towels.
Howard said Dan the Song Parody Man also had one where he put Lou Bellera's ''love pussy'' into ''I Will Always Love You.'' Howard played another Baba Booey song parody too. That was by a guy named Chris. It was ''Something Died In Your Mouth Tonight.''
Robin got to her news and brought up Jeremy Lin who became a star while they were on vacation. Robin said that he was almost kicked off the Knicks. Robin said they say that it's because he's Asian that they didn't think he could play.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's so excited about this America's Got Talent thing. She said she's glad Howard is happy about it. Howard cut her off as she was about to say something else. Howard said she just buzzes right through it. Howard said he has to have her down when they do the New York taping. Howard said the whole thing is remarkable. Howard said Robin will see it out in San Francisco.
Robin brought up the Whitney Houston funeral and read some details about that. Robin said a lot of people are covering Whitney Houston songs including Chris Cornell. Robin had some audio of him doing that. Howard said that guy is really good. He played the audio of that and said he does that a lot with songs he covers. Robin had some audio of some people talking about Whitney Houston's death.
Howard talked about how he finds is mind boggling when people take their talent for granted so much. He said that she's gone now and there's nothing they can do about it. Howard said she had so much and she pissed it all away. Gary said she had ruined her voice already so it was gone anyway. Howard said she really pissed that thing away. He had to do a live commercial and then another commercial break.
After the break, around 9:45am, Robin got back to the Whitney Houston story. She said that her record sales are mounting and memorabilia is on the auction block now. Robin said that they are auctioning off some of her clothes.
Howard took a call from a woman who was at the taping in L.A. She said that Howard was great and people would yell out ''SCOTT!'' when there were technical problems. Howard said they were yelling about Scott doing the audio and things like that. The caller said she was at the evening taping on Thursday night. She wanted to tell a story about what happened that night but Howard told her not to give it all away. He said he was warned about doing that. The caller said it was great. She said she thinks that this is going to change the way America sees him. Howard asked if she was up front. She said she was right behind Sharon. She said they moved some people when they weren't cheering enough. Howard said they'll throw people right out. The caller said they sat the young, pretty people behind the judges. The older people were sat on the sides. Howard said there were hot chicks all over the place. The caller said Howard was hugging people. Howard said he did that for a couple of people. Howard let the caller go a short time later. Howard said he did hug some dudes too. Robin said he did that just to make it look good.
Robin got back to the news and read about Chris Brown at the Grammys and how he was getting cheers from the audience. Robin played some of his performance from the show. Howard just said ''Oy vey...'' when he heard it. Robin said there were some people who were speaking out against Chris Brown. She said that Blake Shelton's wife was speaking out against him. Robin said Brown wrote a tweet about how he won a Grammy and this was the best revenge. Howard said Chris Christie can hang the flag at half staff for Rihanna if she keeps hanging out with Chris Brown.
Howard took a call from a guy who had fallen asleep while on hold. Robin said it sounds like he swallowed Eric the Actor with the odd snore he had. Howard left him on while Robin read her news. Howard said it's great listening to him while that's going on.
Robin read a story about a 12 year old girl who was naked and eating out of trash cans. Robin said the mother was arrested after they found out she was living out of her car. The mother was a teacher's aid.
Robin read about another child abuse story where children were tied to their beds and were being abused. Robin said that the adults who had custody of the children were arrested. Robin read about some parents who were arrested for child abuse and her brother was sexually abusing her too. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin said she's getting concerned because Dutch scientists want to create a hamburger made of meat grown in a lab. Robin said she's not sure what they're trying to do to us. Robin said they'll turn us into The Fly or something. Howard said that would be kind of cool. He'd like to have some super powers like Spider-Man. Howard said he'd like Spidey sense and things like that.
Robin said it's black history month. She said the Smithsonian found a bible that was Nat Turner's. Robin asked Howard if he knows who that is. Howard thought he did but he was wrong. Robin said that he's credited with leading the bloodiest slave uprising in history.
Robin said they still don't have a republican front runner. Howard said he still thinks that Mitt Romney will be the guy. He said that the polls are showing that Obama is ahead of them as individuals. Howard said he can't believe anyone would vote for Santorum. Howard said just by being there he's the alternative. Robin read about how there's a call going out where Santorum is endorsing Mitt Romney. She had the audio of that and had Howard play it. Howard did another live commercial read after that. The snoring caller was still snoring in the background.
Robin read about how the girl scouts and a guy coming out saying that they're pushing a pro-gay agenda. Robin had some audio of some people talking about that.
Robin read about a sheriff in Arizona who was outed by his gay lover. Robin had some audio of him talking about how he's the same guy he was the week before. Howard mentioned the snoring caller and what that noise was for anyone who hadn't heard it. Howard did another live commercial a short time later.
Robin read a story about the gas prices going up around the country because of all of the unrest in the country. Howard said Newt Gingrich was saying that there is enough oil around to make gasoline $2.00 a gallon. Howard said he's thinking of backing him now. Robin laughed. She said that he must be really desperate.
Robin said that Greece is getting another bail out. She said they were working out the details for the new loans over the weekend.
Howard asked DePace who he's backing. Scott said he thinks Romney is the guy. Howard said he thinks that Romney is the only guy he could possibly consider. He said this Santorum is building up some traction but he's a complete loon. Howard said the guy is too out there. The snoring caller was still on and snoring behind Howard as he talked.
Robin read about a concert that President Obama is going to be attending. Robin mentioned some of the people who would be performing. She said it's going to air on PBS.
Robin read about Gary Carter dying. Howard said the guy probably never even smoked and he died because of brain cancer. Robin said he was a catcher and some news guy called him a great pitcher. Howard said he was into the Mets for a while and even he knew he was a catcher.
Robin read about a sex tape that the late Nate Dog made and how it might be coming out soon. Howard said he's not even sure who Nate Dog is. Robin said TMZ is saying that a 5 minute clip and an unidentified woman is being shopped around. Robin said that Nate died last March. Howard said that's not cool to put out a sex tape of a dead man.
Robin asked Howard if he had ever played Angry Birds. Howard said he hasn't played. Robin said they have a new game coming out soon and it's called Angry Birds: Space. She read a couple of details about that.
Robin said that Carrie Underwood was talking about a date she had. Howard said he thinks the snoring guy is waking up. Howard tried to get his attention by saying ''Dude'' over and over. The guy didn't answer. Fred threw in some Ronnie ''Dude'' clips but the guy wasn't responding at all.
Robin had Howard play some Carrie Underwood audio where she talked about her first date with this guy. Robin said that Taylor Swift was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and she talked about how she wants to meet the man of her dreams. Howard goofed on Jay and said he's fatter than ever and he's just a weird fuck. He said he's part of the NBC family but he hasn't warmed up to that.
Robin read about the new show ''Smash'' and had some audio of Anjelica Huston talking about that. Howard said he actually liked the show. He knows people will make fun of him about that.
Robin read about the Mardi Gras parades going on in New Orleans this week. Robin had some details about that. Robin wrapped up and Howard said he can't wake that snoring caller up. He left him on as he ended the show and did some live commercials. They ended the show around 10:20am.
Benjy said she was saying that she loves guys now that she's gone to the seminar. Jon said that she's said she wants to do it for her quest for knowledge. Gary said that guys just want sex and that's probably what they tell them at these seminars.
Jon asked Gary if he was worried this morning about what Howard might be talking about with the AGT thing. Gary said he heard from one of the producers who thought it went great and he couldn't wait to find out what he had to say. Gary said he told Howard after the show that he's very happy for him that he enjoyed it as much as he did. He said he's glad he enjoyed it and he didn't come back wondering what he got himself into. Jon said you could tell he was charged up right from the start of the show. Gary said he's taking it seriously and he's going to hit his groove by the time they get on the air live.
Jon said that Howard did talk about the problems he had with people being on his plane. He asked Gary if he's afraid to go with him now. Gary said that he's shocked that Howard didn't get served first on the flight. Jon said he can't imagine Howard rescinding the invitation to Gary. Gary said he could have said he didn't think it was what he thought it would be and tell him not to come but Howard told him he still wants him to go.
Gary said he has one piece of carry on and he will have his iPad and watch some movies. He said Howard can talk to him if he wants to talk to him.
Jon said Howard did talk about the audience that came out to see him. Gary said he saw the footage that the TV show shot and it looks like a blast. Jon said he described it as being like Thunderdome. He said it sounds like a Howard gathering. Gary said it does sound very Howard-centric.
Gary said he got the feeling that this thing that Howard is doing is more natural than what they do on The Voice. Jon said Howard did say that they argued a few times during the shoot.
Jon asked if Gary expected Howard to be a compassionate judge. Gary said Howard has always been good with kids in a grown up way. He said that he has his own kids so he knows how to deal with them.
Gary said that he didn't think Howard was being a Diva either. He said he wasn't asking for anything that they didn't promise him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie sounds like he's a diva. He said he was asking Beacher if he knows who he is. Gary said he liked that he threatened to bury him on Twitter. Gary said that's not Ronnie's style to throw Howard's name around. He said it must have been the girls that did it. He also thought it was funny that they went off on ''the door man'' who turned out to be Beacher himself. Gary said that he makes it clear to his friends not to throw Howard's name around. He said that there isn't a place in the world that's so important to him that he can't just walk away. He said Ronnie didn't have to go to Beacher's. He could have just walked down the block to some other place.
Jon said Ronnie was very upset with the whole Beacher's thing. Gary said he is very upset and Dan the Song Parody Man is the one that Ronnie is really upset with. Dan is the guy who forwarded the note to Howard from Beacher. He said Dan did back Ronnie up saying it was probably the girls who mentioned Howard's name though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie was a complete professional out at the shoot in Los Angeles. He said that he was sitting about 4 rows behind Howard. He said they divided the seats up for fans of the show and on the other side they had a ton of hot chicks. He said it was an awesome time and Howard did a great job. He said it was a lot of fun.
The caller said there was a 7 year old girl who sang with her dad and everyone had tears in their eyes with that. Gary said they don't want to say too much about that since they asked Howard not to get into too much detail. They had to go to break a short time later.
Ronnie said that the girl made the reservation under her name and they gave her a table for 8. He said that she put it under her own name. He said he met her at the hotel and had a drink. Then they went to the lounge and when they came back down they went to the front. He said they went to the guy up front and she went up to him and said she was Tiffany Granath and he said he had no idea who she was. Ronnie said that he treated them like shit and they didn't even know that it was him. She went off on him saying she'd bury them on their radio show.
Jon asked Ronnie who he's mad at. Ronnie said he's not mad at anyone. He said he doesn't want them saying that he did anything wrong. He didn't do anything. He said all he did was tweet out about how they were treated there.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie is wrong and he has to take responsibility for it. Ronnie said he didn't make the reservation and he didn't do anything wrong. The caller said he has to listen because he's too fucking thick. The caller said that when everyone tells him he's in the wrong he never listens. Ronnie said he didn't do anything wrong. The caller said that it is his responsibility. Ronnie said he didn't make the reservation.
Jon asked Gary if he bears some responsibly. Gary said if Tiffany made the reservation then Ronnie didn't have anything to do with it. Ronnie said Beacher didn't have to make a big deal out of it either. He said he could have pulled him to the side and said something to him. Gary said he was probably angry that he thought maybe someone was trying to pull a scam on them.
Jon took a call from Dan the Song Parody Man who said that he's sorry this whole thing went down. He said he could have gotten them the rock star treatment himself if he knew he was going. Dan said he spoke to Beacher and they said that they told them that they shouldn't have used Howard's name and that's when the girls got belligerent and that's when Ronnie told Jeff to get Jeff Beacher. Ronnie said he didn't have to yell at them like they were pieces of shit. Ronnie said he's going to talk right back the way he talks to him.
Dan asked Ronnie if Beacher ever made reference to them making the reservation under Howard's name. Ronnie said he made reference to ''Howard's people'' and that was it. He said he never claims to be Howard or anything like that.
Dan said that Jeff had just flown back from Vegas and he was upset that he was being scamemd by these girls. He said he was agitated and he did say to the girls that they shouldn't have used Howard's name for this. Dan said that Ronnie should have turned his anger toward the girls instead of to Beacher. Dan said that he tweeted out that the show sucks. He never saw the show. Ronnie said he was treated like shit so he said it was shit. He said if he was at the door maybe he would have read it a different way.
Dan said he wished he knew he wanted to go because he could have helped. Ronnie said it wasn't his idea to go to that place. He said it was the girls who wanted to go. He had never been there and he will never be there again.
Dan said the girls could have gotten in without mentioning Howard's name. He said they could have said they were from Playboy radio or whatever and they could have gotten in.
Gary said he wouldn't have fought with them, he would have just left if he had a problem like that. He said that's what Ronnie could have done.
Jon asked Ronnie about the flight out to Los Angeles and why he was served before Howard. Ronnie said that he was served after everyone else was. He said he was sleeping most of the time. Ronnie said everyone else had their food and he has no idea if Howard got his or not. He said he asked for bagels and locks and that's it. He said he didn't try to over ride Howard for food or anything like that.
Jon asked Ronnie about the crowd at the shoot and how he handled it. Ronnie said he just ignored it. He said that he had people tweeting him about it and he just ignored it all. He said he was all business out there.
Shuli came in and said that Ronnie is very low maintenance. He said that he never asks for anything out at the shows they do together. He said that he would love to bust his balls over that stuff but he really can't.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loved the Mammary Lane shows last week. He also said that Ronnie made a point about Robin today and how she was cackling over him and it was kind of emasculating in his opinion. Jon asked Ronnie if he felt she was doing that to him. Ronnie said she gets this look on her face and you can see when she's not being honest about it. He said she wasn't mad at him but he thinks she was frustrated with him. The guys spent a couple of minutes talking about how Robin reacted to Ronnie today.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he was wondering about Ronnie's tweets and why he put an X in his reply. Ronnie said he didn't know he put an X out. He said it must have been an accident. The caller said he was probably trying to be Howard.
Shuli also pointed out that he tweeted out the word ''term oil'' instead of ''turmoil.'' Ronnie said he writes the way he feels like writing and people love to rip you apart. He said he was writing about Shuli and Scott always being in turmoil.
Jon asked Ronnie about laying in the coffin and if he enjoyed that. Ronnie said it wasn't so bad. He also talked about his tattoo and how he ended up getting that one he saw on display. Gary said he as in the Dominican Republic and he thinks that he and Mary might be the only ones with no ink on them. He said it seems like everyone in the world has ink.
Jon asked Ronnie when he got his first tattoo. Ronnie said it was 15 years ago when he went with Howard. He said this one could be his last. He said if you go into a tattoo place you just get the urge to do it and that's why he got this one. They had to end the show a short time later. They were done at 11:00am.
Howard started the show talking about how he was getting briefed for the day before the show started. He said he left off talking about his trip to California yesterday. He's running off to San Francisco this week to do another taping.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel threw another party for him out there in L.A. He said Jimmy refers to it as Halibut 3 because his father likes Halibut. Howard said Jimmy likes that his dad likes halibut. Howard said his dad is like 50 times worse than him as far as traveling and doing things. Howard said they went to a restaurant one time and his dad will ask what he should order. He said he's turning into an infant. He said his dad is very capable though. He can go up on the roof and fix things or clean the gutters. He said he draws the line at certain things though. He said he'll sit at the table waiting for his mom to serve him. He said if he has a meal set out for everyone his dad will wait for his mom to fix him a plate. Howard said he'll do it for him too but he doesn't do it for himself. Howard said he took his dad out to dinner and ordered him halibut and now that's his favorite fish. He said he asks for it everywhere they go. Howard said Jimmy loves that so that's why he calls the party Halibut 3.
Howard said he met a lot of nice people there at the party. He said a couple of weeks ago he was talking about Michelle Bachman and Rick Santorum and what they were saying about the abortion issue and gays. He said he got on the air and he was talking about JC Penny and Ellen Degeneres and how he was throwing his support to her because she's gay and they were going to boycott her. Howard said in his rant he was talking about Rosie O'Donnell and David Letterman and all of that. He said Rosie got on the air and said some beautiful things about him on her show. He was kind of embarrassed about that. He said she was telling him that gay people are so appreciative when a straight person comes out and defends them. Howard said it was kind of embarrassing because gay people shouldn't have to thank him. Robin said they shouldn't have to justify their existence either.
Howard said he had some audio of Rosie and what she said about him. Howard said he has this feeling that there are some really angry soccer moms out there that have nothing better to do than go after gay people. He said that he doesn't spend his day thinking about gay people.
Howard played the clip of Rosie talking about him. Rosie said Howard was her arch nemesis for a decade. She said that they have become friends and she loves the guy. She said she listens to the show daily and he was talking about Ellen and gay people and how they're marginalized and how wrong it is. She said that he's got it and what he said will move people. She said that she posted what he said on her twitter account.
Howard said he felt bad that she even had to say it. Howard said it's not right that they have to thank people for coming out to support them. He said anyone who has an awareness of abuse in history, it just feels like the same thing over and over again. He said they stone people in some countries if they're gay.
Howard said a couple of weeks ago he got a call from Ellen Degeneres. He said she called him at home and they played phone tag for a while. Howard said she said some beautiful things to him on the phone. He said they had a nice discussion and he had to answer for some things that he's said about her. He said she invited him on her show. He said she was at Jimmy's party with Portia. He said toward the end of the party he got to speak to her and Portia. Howard said she told him some things about her life that she may never have told anyone else. He said it was quite moving. Howard said she's started meditating too so they talked about that. Howard said a lot of people said they have started meditating because of his meditation. Howard said that he's like a lite maharishi.
Howard said he and Sandy Bullock had a nice discussion at the party too. He said that was a heavy discussion. He said they talked about a lot of things there. Howard said she's spectacular looking. He said he was talking to her and he's not sure how she fell in love with Jesse James. Howard said she might be one of the greatest girls on the planet but she fell for Jesse James.
Howard said he has this discussion going on in his head while he's talking to people. He said he finally let go of the whole Jesse James thing and they had a heartfelt discussion about a lot of issues. He said he spoke to her about her son and adoption and things like that. Howard said it becomes therapy when you talk to him at a party.
Howard said he didn't want to look for the next person at the party to talk to. He said he decided not to do that this time. There were 90 people there this time so he didn't want to try and get to every single one. Howard said this was Jimmy's party for him and he's not going to go out of his way to do that.
Howard said Sacha Baron Cohen walked in behind him when he went out to dinner one night. He said he had a good conversation with him too. He said this guy is great and he must sound like a kiss ass with him. Howard said he told Sacha that he goes to the gym and they talk about Bruno almost every day. He said they can quote the scenes from ''Bruno'' and he must sound like Superfan Roundtable with him. He said he thinks the guy is brilliant.
Howard said when you see how different the guy is in person you realize how complete the guy is. He said he's not being those characters but you can see them in there when you talk to him.
Howard said they were out to dinner with Jimmy and Molly. He said they're a great couple. He said he thinks that Molly is the one holding back on getting married. Howard said she's a doll too. He said she had a dress on that was showing a lot of skin.
Robin said it's very boorish to ask when someone is getting married or when they're having kids. It's none of your business. Howard said he was doing that with Jeff Probst. He said he found out that Jeff and his wife are having sex every night. He said they went into a discussion about how they keep things fresh and they have a fantasy life. Howard said he has to have Jeff on the show again. He said Jeff is a expert. He said he saw him for two seconds at the end of the party.
Howard said he saw someone who looked like Jessica Alba at the party and it turned out it actually was her. He said that Jennifer Aniston's boyfriend was there too. He said the guy was in ''Your Highness'' and he loved that movie. He said that he thinks that Andy Richter was there and he didn't recognize him. He said they actually had name tags on there so he'd know who they were. He said he jokingly said that he needed that so Jimmy had them do it. Howard said Jimmy should walk him around and introduce him to people. Howard said he blames Jimmy but the party was star studded.
Howard said he told Jimmy that this party isn't really for him. He said that they have these parties all the time. Howard said Jon Favreau told him he only came out for him though. He said he did his new thing at the party and didn't just walk away from people. He said that he doesn't know how to end a conversation. He said he's not going to do that with Sandra Bullock.
Howard said he thought he'd be out of the party by 8 since it started at 5. He said he didn't get out until 9:30. He was wiped out by then.
Howard said he had the list of people who were there. He said George Clooney and Stacy Keibler were there. He said he talked to Ellen and Portia. He talked to Bob Iger from Disney. He said he figured he'd learn a lot about Disney and ABC talking to him. He said this is the kind of guy we need in government. Howard said the list of people in government isn't that impressive. Howard said guys like Eiger aren't attracted to it. Howard said Bob isn't going to sacrifice his entire life to serve the public because they'll just chew him up. He said that's the kind of guys we need though.
Howard said Rick Rubin was there. He got to talk to him for a short time. Howard said he used to be the fattest vegan. He said he would hang with him and he'd get Chinese food and it all had sauce on it. He said he got on some kind of health kick and now he's thinner. He said he still has that long beard though. He said he'd be human looking if he shaved that off.
Howard said Ellen Pompeo was there. He said she's on Grey's Anatomy. He said she's a cool chick too. Howard said she wrote him a note about what he's been saying about Howie Mandel being the good looking guy on America's Got Talent. He said she thinks he's attractive.
Howard said Jeff Probst was there. He also saw Stamos with an old girlfriend there. He said Courteney Cox and David Arquette were there. He said he had a nice conversation with Courteney. He said David clammed up. He said he's not a talkative guy. Howard said Bob Harper was there. He said he really likes that guy. Howard said JJ Abrams was there. Howard said he's a good dude too. He told him how much he likes Fringe. He said that the show doesn't have any ratings though so it could go away. Howard said he loves Walking Dead too. Howard said he told JJ to give him an ending if they're going to end the show. Howard said he doesn't want a ''Lost'' kind of ending.
Howard said Carson Daly was there. He said he has hung out with him before. He said that was years ago though. He said that was before he met Beth. He said he was a playboy kind of guy at the time and he would always run into Carson Daly. He said he's married now too though.
Howard said he was a 5pm playboy. He said he would go in and the staff would be setting up. He said there would be one girl in the club. Howard said he met a medical student from China once. He said he tried to bring her home. Howard said whoever was there he'd go after. Howard said it never worked out though.
Howard said John Krasinski was there with Emily Blunt. He said he talked to Howie Mandel too. He said Carol Leifer was there and so was Christa Miller. He said Mike Judge was there so he talked to him about how much he loves Beavis and Butt-Head. He said Gary Shandling was there but he missed him. He said he showed up after he left. Howard said Dax Sheppard, Kristen Bell, Adam Carolla and others too. Howard said Adam has put on some weight. Howard said he gave him a big hug but they didn't talk much.
Howard said Jillian Barberie was there with her husband. Howard said she fell in the pool. Howard said Andy Richter was there. He spoke to Jon Favreau for a long time too. He said he loved the ''Cowboys and Aliens'' movie and he's not sure what went wrong there. He said it was a great movie. Robin said it was not and she loves Jon. She said it was a little bit of a miss.
Howard said he sat on the couch with Louis CK for a long time. He said they had a great conversation. He said he spent about a half hour with him. He said he's divorced with two kids. He said he has the kids 3 days a week. He said he admires that he won't work and he'll just spend time with the kids. Howard said he has to have Louis come in to talk about his act. He said he bombs for like half the year and works on new material.
Howard said Kevin Nealon's wife was at the party too. He said he didn't see Jessica Alba on the list but there was a girl who looked like her. He said it had to be her. He said he was hob knobbing out there. He said all of these people love the show too.
Howard said he was talking to George Clooney and he wants him to come to Italy to hang out. He said he didn't think he was serious but now he wants a date. Howard said he should go just to see what goes on with him and Stacy.
Howard said he has to go back out to California this weekend. He said he's going to be all thrown off from the time changes. He said he was up at 1 last night and he couldn't sleep. He said he should have started the show at 7 with the new contract.
Howard said a lot of people weren't able to get into this party that Jimmy threw. He said that he knows some of the names. He said one of them was Sherman Helmsley. He wasn't even sure if he's even still alive. Robin said she thinks he is.
Howard said he got his FCC license back in the day and everyone had this accent at the place he got it. Howard said he can relate for a lot of reasons so he doesn't like to see anyone getting this kind of shit.
Howard replayed the clip and the guy is talking about Ellen and how she was kicked off her sitcom because she decided to be the first homosexual actor who was on TV every week. She admitted she was gay. The guy said that she might be a nice person but she's a homosexual activist and she's pushing her cause on Americans. Howard said this guy is making it sound like he has no gay people in his family. Howard said he's a complete dummy.
Howard played more of the clip and the guy is talking about how she's a spokes person for JC Penny and they don't want her being a role model for their children. Howard said he does. He doesn't want this guy being a role model.
Howard said one of the reasons that he's not hostile toward gay people is because his mother and father would talk about gay people. He said their message to him was that it was no big deal. He said he did have this luxury and it helped form his opinion. He said that kids who hear this shit at home are growing up to hate gay people. Robin said sometimes you figure out that your parents are stupid. Howard said some do but not all. He said that some of them grow up to be exactly like their parents. He said some don't break away.
Howard said that dummy Michelle Bachman is so desperate for money that she's using him to raise it. Howard said he came out and said what a shithead she and Rick Santorum are. He said he didn't think anything of it but she came out with a statement about him and she tried to do a money grab with it. Howard said she must be desperate.
Howard said he thinks he has the letter. He found the letter and said that she hit back at him after his comments. He said he had called her the worst person in the world. Howard read the article and said that they call her a ''hopeful'' in the run for president. Howard said that's all she is. Howard read about what he had said about them and then what Bachman said about him. He said she says that he's been corrupting America's youth in this country for years. Howard said he's proud of that if that's corrupting.
Howard said Bachman sent a letter out to her supporters asking them to send her money so she can fight this if she's elected. Howard said that she's calking a group of people pieces of shit and of course he's going to demonize her.
Howard said that Bachman talks about how she needs help from her supporters so they can fight back and keep their message out there. Howard said her ''positive'' message is against gay people. He said that it's not positive. Howard said they're going to make people go back into the closet and force them to marry heterosexuals.
Howard read more of what she said and how he's not a serious person. She's saying that they need to fight him though. Howard said that she's also asked for money but he didn't have that part of the letter.
Howard said Richard put together a song about him blocking the sun in California. Howard played the song and Richard sang to the tune of ''Hotel California'' about how Howard's nose blocked out the sun. Howard said he says ''schnoz'' in the song and doesn't say it correctly. Howard said he says it like ''snoz'' and leaves out the ''shh.'' Howard asked when he's going to say it correctly.
Howard said they have Mr. Skin coming in today. He said he has William Shatner coming in too. He said that the Skinatomy Awards are going to be discussed today with Mr. Skin. Howard said they'll get to that later.
Howard came back and said that was Adele singing. Robin said she's not very svelte. Howard said if she lost weight she might be super hot. He said that's what it looks like to him. He said it might be more important to look hot than sing well... at least to him.
Howard said Adele was talking about how she didn't want to be the one who writes songs about guys breaking up with her but this one is great. He said that she should keep doing it.
Howard said Gary left the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue on his desk and he found that he didn't even pay much attention to it as he thumbed through it. Howard said with the internet you don't need to see stuff like that.
Howard said Robin was hoaxed. He said that he must get one of these emails like twice a year. Howard said he's sure people have gotten them at home. Howard said someone hacks into a friend's account and you get an email. He said that Stacy Lange's email must have been hacked. He said it's a letter that says the person needs money. Howard said that this one said that Stacy was in Spain and she lost all of her stuff. She asked Robin to wire her money. Robin said that she just asked for help, she didn't even ask for money. Howard said the first thing he'd say is that it was a scam. Howard said maybe she has no money and she can't make the call. Howard said she has a brother and mother and they can't respond? Howard said the whole thing is absurd.
Robin said she thought that she was in a business center. Robin said this did happen to her in San Francisco. She said she had her own resources though. Robin said she lost her whole purse. She said that no one helped her and they all left her. Howard said that you have to love Robin. He said she got the email and she went out to try and wire this person money. Howard said she decided to wire her 1,400 Euros. Robin said she wrote back asking what she needed. Howard said that she got a reply asking for that amount and she sent it.
Robin said that it was almost $2,000. Howard said this guy must have been so excited when he got this email back. He said no one responds to them but Robin does. Howard said that Gary was talking about it with his son and his son Lucas even knows that it's a scam.
Gary said that everyone in the office is astonished. He said that they all knew it was a scam. Gary asked if she got any verification that it was her. Robin said it was her email address. Howard asked how fast he got back to her with the amount. Robin said she didn't know when it came in. Robin said she came back after going out.
Gary asked if it was really her email address. Robin said it was and he must have hacked her email address. Howard said that they play it down by not asking too much.
Robin said she was trying to wire the money but there was something wrong with her account. She said that she had to wire her brother money once so she had an account but there was a problem. She said she knows it was really her brother though.
Robin said she was fighting with Western Union and she ended up wiring the money and she then realized that it wasn't really her. Robin said she canceled the wire before the guy got the money. Howard said he'd like to see how much he can get out of Robin. Robin said she was sick and maybe she would have done it differently if she was healthy.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who sad that Howard failed to mention that Greg Fitzsimmons was at the party. Howard said he wasn't there this time. Mark thought he was going to leave him out for the second time. He also mentioned that George Takei and William Shatner have some kind of fight going on so he might want to mention that today.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Don Rickles was at the party. Howard said he wasn't there. He said he just lost his son not too long ago so he wasn't up for it.
Howard took a call from a woman who thanked him for the tickets to the America's Got Talent taping. She said that he fist bumped her out there too. She said he looks great too. Howard said he does not. He said he looks hideous. Howard said he sees himself on the red carpet events and the parties and he just looks awful next to George Clooney and John Stamos. Howard said he'd like to know why God cursed him with this face.
Howard said he met a burn victim who laughed at his looks the other day. Robin told him to stop it. Howard said it's just not fair. He said he's such a good person he deserves a little beauty in his life. The caller said she couldn't stop staring at him. Howard said he has a voice in his head saying that he looks horrible the whole time.
Howard said he's going to be in San Francisco this weekend. Robin said she's not going to be able to make it. Gary said he has 4 pair of tickets left to give away for that shoot. Howard said it's so much fun doing those tapings. He said that there were some Philly fans out there and they were yelling out funny stuff. He said you'd think that they were professional comedians. Howard said it was a good time. The caller said she flew in from Dallas. She said they planned a whole trip around it. She said it was unbelievable.
Howard said they really do have fun. He said that Beth came to the last taping. He said she didn't realize what fun they were having. Howard said the audience pumps him up too. He said that he has to rise to the occasion.
Robin asked how long his day was. Howard said it's long. He said he gets up at like 5 in the morning. He said he worries about his throat and his voice. He said around 9:30 he gets his hair done. He said that's a whole thing. He said his hair takes forever to dry. He said he should just shave it and become a man. Howard said Howie looks good like that.
Howard said he gets ready around 9:30 and then you get in the car around 10:30 and get to the set around 11. He said you do press interviews and stuff like that. Then he gets make up and stuff done. Then they get to the set around 12 or 1. Howard said they do tapings for various things. Then you do four sessions with 2 different audiences and that goes until 9 or 10 at night. Howard said he eats as soon as he gets there and then they eat dinner later. He said he gets an hour for that. Howard said this stuff goes on all day.
The caller said they got there at 5 and they started taping around 5:45. She said they didn't get out until 9. Howard said it's a long day. He asked if she was the hot teacher he spoke to recently. She said she is. Howard asked why she didn't introduce herself. She said she wasn't sure how to bring it up. Howard said she could have told him that she was the hot teacher who teaches retarded kids.
Howard said that she told them she looks like Catherine Zeta-Jones. She said that's what she's told. She said that she's never had so much fun as she did there. Howard said they think things are going to be really insane by the time they shoot in New York. Howard asked when that is. Gary brought in the list. Howard said the New York taping isn't until April. Howard said he has to hold about 15 seats for family and friends. Gary said they have to move along so they can get the guests in. He said that Mr. Skin is ready and they have a guest after that.
Howard said that Shatner is very impatient. Howard said he doesn't want to wait. Robin asked if his image has diminished at all since he's not Captain Kirk anymore. Howard said that it hasn't in Shatner's mind. They went to break a short time later.
Mr. Skin said that Sarah Silverman is doing a full frontal scene in a movie that's coming out. He said that it's a very long scene too. He said the movie is rated R of course. He said she's scrubbing in the shower from what he's heard. Mr. Skin said there's a movie coming out this week called Wanderlust and Jennifer Aniston was supposed to be nude in it but now they've found out that the scene was pulled. Mr. Skin said they found out about that and it's a sad moment in nudity. Howard got a laugh out of that. Mr. Skin said they heard that they showed the movie at a film fest and the scene was in there but they cut it. Howard asked how naked she was. Mr. Skin said she was topless. He said that 21 year old girls would trade their body for this 41 year old. Mr. Skin said that they have Skin Scouts all over the world and they told them about the scene. Howard asked why she would have it cut. Mr. Skin said she it must have been her idea but he doesn't know the reason. He said it's really disappointing though.
Howard said Mr. Skin doesn't look the way you'd expect but he has one of his writers with him and that guy looks exactly like you'd expect.
Howard asked Mr. Skin who he thinks people want to see naked. Mr. Skin said Sofia Vergara is one. He said that they found an old photo shoot of her from 2000 and she was holding her breasts like a hand bra. He said that's pretty good for someone who hasn't done an R rated scene in a movie.
Howard said they have developed something on Mr. Skin's web site. He said that it's pretty cool. Mr. Skin said that they got 4 or 5 Skinterns and asked them to do this project. He said they worked round the clock for about 6 months. He said they went through every nude scene on the site and they tagged everything. He said they're tagging everything. Howard said you can put in monster muff and clips come up. Mr. Skin said you can search for ''brown eye'' and it'll bring up clips. He said it's very rare but it does happen. Howard said they have all kinds of terms for those clips. Mr. Skin said that you can search for Asian models with big boobs and things like that too. Howard asked who is under the Brown Eye thing. Mr. Skin said that Sherylynn Fenn did a scene.
Howard said you can find out more at MrSkin.com
Howard asked Mr. Skin for his best boob scene. Mr. Skin said that goes to Brooklyn Decker. Howard said there was some camel toe in that scene too. Mr. Skin said that Best Coin Slot goes to Mila Kunis from ''Friends with Benefits.'' He said she hasn't been nude in a movie yet. He said that's as close as she's gotten.
Howard asked about Best Network Upskirt. Mr. Skin said that this happens on network TV in HD. He said the actress will raise a leg and show up her skirt. That goes to Meredith Vierra. He showed the clip from the Today show. Howard said it looks like she's not wearing any panties. Mr. Skin said that it might be a cotton thing. He said he's really not sure.
Howard asked about Best Network Nip Slip. Mr. Skin said that Nikki Minaj had a nip slip on Good Morning America. He said that you don't always get full areola but this time they did. He said this only aired on the East coast. They had caught it by the time it aired on the West coast.
Howard said Best Celebrity Nude Debut was next. Mr. Skin said that Emmy Rossum is so gorgeous. He said that she was nude many times. He said she got naked early on and she was naked a ton. He said that she started the second season with another nude scene. Mr. Skin said they didn't know much about her before this. Mr. Skin said the show is crazy so that explains why she's out of control on the show. Howard said she is very beautiful. He said she was on What's Worth Watching with Jon Hein and they asked her about that. She was creeped out by it. Howard played the clip of them talking to Emmy about it. Emmy said she never thought she'd end up on a web site like that. She said there will always be weirdos out there. She didn't even know about the web site. Jon and his co-host had to explain it to her. Emmy said she can't wait to go visit it later.
Howard asked what it's like to have every woman disgusted with him. Mr. Skin said everything is positive on the site and overall it's been good. He said he's been doing it for 13 years and it's been pretty good. Gary said that Emmy was obsessed with the site after that show. She was wondering what the guy looks like.
Howard asked about Natalie Portman doing a thong scene. Mr. Skin said everyone loves her and that thong scene was great. That was in ''Your Highness.'' Gary asked how they know that it's a body double. Mr. Skin said the woman diving was not her and if you don't see their face then you have a pretty good idea.
Mr. Skin said there are some scenes out now where they CGI in breasts. He said that's not good. He said that they gave Best Breasts to Lake Bell. He said that her breasts are great and she had some stiff competition. He said that Kirsten Dunst had some great breasts too. He said that Emmy Rossum was a runner up. He said she has real breasts and so does Lake Bell.
Howard ran through a few more. He asked about Best Butt. Mr. Skin said that this one is from their International desk. Her name is Natalie Emanuel and it's from the show ''Misfits.'' Howard saw the picture and said her ass is perfect.
Best Lesbian Scene went to a couple of women on Game of Thrones. He said that the show is well written and acted and they have a 4 minute lesbian scene. Howard said that it looked pretty hot.
Howard said the Creepiest Nude scene went to the movie ''Sleeping Beauty'' with Emily Browning. He said the girl is in a brothel and she will drink tea and it makes her pass out for 12 hours. Guys will touch her and do things to her. Howard said he has to see that. Howard said the girl looks like she's only 12. Howard said he has to see this movie.
Mr. Skin said they have a new category of ''Best Skiing Scene.'' He said that was Rachel Jermaine from ''Weeds.'' He said the guys in the show get a double hand job and this woman is topless while giving the hand jobs.
Howard said he wanted to do this quickly. He asked about Best Banana. Mr. Skin said that was Jennifer Aniston in ''Best Bosses.'' Best 3D nude scene was Charlotte Ross in Drive Angry. Howard watched some of that scene. Mr. Skin said she also did a nude scene in NYPD Blue.
Howard ran through a few more categories. He had Best Granny Panties. He also had Best Cheerleader which went to a woman from Hung. He had a Best Nude Scene while Ironing. Mr. Skin said that went to a woman from Shameless.
Howard said he has so many of these. He said he wanted to get to the big ones. Breast Picture went to the movie Shame. He said it has the most nudity and it's about sex addiction. He said that there are some great scenes in the movie.
Best See Through Nips went to Khloe Kardashian. Howard saw that picture and it was supposed to be on a family channel. She was on FOX News. Howard asked who won Best Lesbian Massage. Mr. Skin said that was Natasha something. He didn't even know how to say her name.
Howard said the best thing about this web site is that you get right to the nude scene. Mr. Skin said their motto is that they fast forward to the good parts. Howard said that's great. Mr. Skin said the new tags will help you find just what you're looking for too. Howard asked how many members they have. Mr. Skin said they get 9 million unique visitors a month. He said that's a lot of people. Mr. Skin said that's probably 95 percent men too. Howard said there must not be that many women.
Mr. Skin had another Niptastic Nips category that they showed to Howard. Howard said that she has really big nips. Howard rushed through all of this and then went to break a short time later. Check out MrSkin.com
Howard came back and talked about the song ''Crossroads'' and the band with Fred. Howard said that he can actually picture their album Disraeli Gears and it helps him pee.
Howard said he has William Shatner coming in and he's up against the clock. Howard said he really does have a problem peeing. He said that he has a urinal in his bathroom. He said he has the cover of Disraeli Gears hanging on his wall and he stares at that and it helps him pee. He said that when he shits he thinks about Lou Reed. He said he was just kidding about that though. He said he will vomit if you play ''White Room.''
Howard said that Sal and Richard called Tradio again. He said they got a funeral announcement read on the air. Howard played the clip where they read the area funeral announcements. They had one for Ronnie the Limo Driver dying at 102 years old. They got in most of the staff member names read on the air too. The woman was reading all of this like it was a real thing.
Howard said the boys got in a birthday announcement too. They had one for ''Gabe Oy Toucher'' and ''Anita Mantoblow.'' Howard said they just read whatever they send in.
Howard said Sacha Baron Cohen has a new movie coming out called ''The Dictator'' and he wants to show up to the Academy Awards. He said he'd like to show up as the dictator and they haven't decided if they want him to attend in that outfit. He said they might not want him to. Howard said he's not sure why he would check. He said he should just show up in the outfit. Howard said no one else checks. He said he must be doing it as a promotional thing. Howard said that Sacha must want to be told no. He said that he doesn't have to ask about it.
Howard asked if Shatner was there yet. Gary said he just walked in and he has to sign some things first. Howard told him to bring him in when he's ready.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if it's okay if he comes up and says hi to him at the San Francisco taping. Howard said he can do that if he's in the right area. Howard said he's looking forward to seeing him. The caller said he's really looking forward to it.
Bobo called in and said he'd like to get a block of tickets for the taping in New York. Howard said he thinks they have a block of tickets. Gary said they do have some. Howard said he needs some for his family though. Howard said he has to take care of them first. Howard said his daughter Ashley wants to come. He said he's not sure about the other two. Gary said he'll look into it.
Bobo asked Howard if he found a need to call his therapist while he was away. Howard said he doesn't do that. He said he knows some do but he didn't. Robin asked if he's ever called when he felt he needed him. Howard said he never has and he might find that a little odd.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that it was very hard to hear Howard's discussions with the contestants out in the audience. He said that it was very low level. He said the audience drowned it out. Howard said it's very hard to get used to. Howard said he asked if they ever wear those Ultimate Ears things that they got. Howard said he's used to working on radio with headphones on. He said the crowd is very loud and they drown you out. He said Sharon doesn't even try to talk loud. Howard said it's crazy loud in there.
Howard said the audience is screaming and you have to give them the hand to quiet down. The caller said it was when Howard was talking that it was too quiet. He said the music levels were fine. Howard said they tell you to just start talking even when people are screaming. Howard said he's not sure how to explain that to them over there.
Shatner told Howard he knows he wants to bring his kids to his one man show. Howard said he was talking about his own show, not Bill's show. Howard asked if he has anything x-rated in that show. Bill just said ''Uhh...''
Howard said Mr. Shatner must talk about the women he had in his life. Shatner said that this is the sum total of his life. He said that he has just learned to say yes to everything. He said the show is an hour and 40 minutes long. He said he doesn't take a break. He said if he did he'd end up leaving.
Bill said that he talks about the nature of comedy, music, life, love and death. Robin asked when he gets to talk about what he knows about. He got a laugh out of that.
Howard said some would say that to talk about yourself for an hour and 40 minutes you must be a narcissist. Shatner said he got great reviews and the audience cheers at the end. He said he thinks Howard would like it.
Howard asked Bill if he's worth over $300 million. Bill wasn't talking. Howard asked Elizabeth if she knows what he's worth. She said he's worth everything in her life. She said she knows everything. Howard said they've been married a while. 12 years to be exact. Howard asked how it comes about that Bill Shatner tells her everything he has. Elizabeth said that was about a month into their relationship. She said he showed her everything. She said that they're a team.
Howard asked if she signed a pre-nuptial agreement. She said of course she did. Howard said that he must have to expose his finances to her because of that. She said that's correct. Howard asked if it's $300 million. She said she actually can't remember.
Howard asked Bill about Priceline.com and how they paid him in stock. Howard said he held on to it for a while and it exploded. He said he was worth millions. Bill said that the guy who owned the company was worth more than General Motors at one point. Howard said the stock died and Bill sold it at $2 a share or something. Bill said it was more like 7 cents. Elizabeth told him not to sell. She said she knows nothing but when it's low you don't sell. Howard said Bill probably panicked. He figured it was going to go out of business. Howard said now it's selling for over $500. He said that Bill should have held on to it.
Howard asked Bill why he didn't hold on to it. Bill said the dot com bubble popped and everyone sold their stock. He said that most of the dot com companies had fallen apart. He said that Priceline is a valid company and it gradually grew. He said it rebuilt but he didn't have any stock. Robin said she figured he was doing well. Bill said he'd doing alright.
Howard asked if it bothers him that he didn't hold on to it. Bill said that one thing that bothers him is that regret is the worst thing. He said there's nothing you can do about it. He said that he lives by that and he feels fine about it.
Bill got in some plugs for his one man show and for his web site ShatnersWorld.com
Bill told Howard about a friend they had out to dinner one night. He said that Howard asked them to kiss at dinner to make sure they were a couple and then he told the story on the air and the husband heard the story on the air and it wasn't good. Shatner said that it did not have a happy ending because of Howard.
Howard said he remembers trying to get Bill to touch Elizabeth's breasts for him. Elizabeth said she doesn't remember that.
Howard asked Elizabeth if she's ever had a strap-on used on her. She said that has never happened. Howard asked her how she met Bill. He wanted to know what kind of love making was going on too. Elizabeth said that she met him though grief and horses. She said that she had lost a husband of 17 years. She said he was 47 when he died. She said he had cancer and he lived for a year and a half. She said that she stayed and nursed him a little. She said that she left him when he died. Howard said she's a good woman. Howard said he would have left.
Elizabeth said that Bill's wife's business manager was one of her best customers and that's how they met. Bill said that he was grieving too. He said his wife had died and her husband had died. He said that the horses brought them together. Bill said a few days ago he had the flu and he was opening his one man show. He said he had the stomach flu. Howard said maybe it was nerves. Bill said that it was a mess. Howard asked if Elizabeth caught a whiff. She said it doesn't matter because she loves him so much. She said she's never heard that noise before. She said that he's too much of a gentleman to do that.
Bill said the story of their meeting is too nice for this show. Howard said his wife has never seen or heard him shitting. He said he'd be mortified if she heard. He said she's never even smelled his doody. He said he has farted by accident in her presence though.
Bill told Howard how they were brought together by these horses and their dogs too. Bill said that grief can be debilitating. He said it can take a year to recover. He said that you start to live again after that year. He said that you don't even talk to people during that year. He said he didn't have sex that whole time. Howard asked how long it took to have sex. Elizabeth said that it's a long story. She said that their first date was to the Antarctic. She said they were up there to do a photo shoot. Elizabeth said that she has a business to run so she had to think about going or not. She said that her con-list was more than the pro-list so she had to turn down that offer to go.
Elizabeth said that she isn't much of a TV watcher. She said that Bill asked her to go to New York on a short trip so she went with him on that one. She said they had separate rooms at the time. She said she didn't want to get involved if it wasn't going to be good for her so they had separate rooms. She said she would never date an actor either. She said that was one of her rules.
Bill said he saw something in her that was very serious. Howard asked if he whacked one out to her. Bill said that she was spectacular and a marvelous woman. He said he knew it could be a long term relationship so he didn't rush it.
Elizabeth said that they only held hands on their first date. She said they even walked at the same pace. She said they love the same movies too. Howard asked how long it took before he took her. Elizabeth said that on the New York date something magical happened. She said that New York was scary to her but something happened there. She still isn't sure if he planned it or not. She said that he went to an event where they were raising money for a girl who had cancer. She said she had lost someone to cancer so she had to go. They had to drive 3 hours to the place they were going. She said they visited the girl in the hospital and brought her a stuffed German Sheppard. Howard said he must have been trying to impress her. Elizabeth said that she does wonder because after they did all of this stuff they met the parents and then Bill goes in and throws one bowling ball for the cause. He threw a strike. She said that the agent didn't go with them in the car and the heater in the car goes out in the middle of winter.
Bill said they were between Albany and New York City and they were holding each other in the car to stay warm. Bill said he stopped the driver and had him pull over to the side of the road. He said he put his arms around her and kissed her in the moonlit night. He said that it was kismet. Elizabeth said they went back to New York and they still stayed in separate rooms. She said she started falling in love with him and they had great conversations and stuff.
Elizabeth said that she can't say how long she waited to have sex. Howard kept asking. Bill said it was about a month. Howard asked if he was able to kiss her and not get blue balls. Elizabeth said they weren't even kissing that much. She said that she had 25-30 horses to take care of so she was very busy. She said that he kept asking her to go on trips though. She said she would go and he'd show off all of these things he was doing. Howard said it must have been impressive. She said that they eventually went back to his house in Los Angeles and they never went back.
Howard asked if she was nervous about getting naked in front of Bill. Elizabeth said she can't remember. She said all she wanted to do was love him. Howard asked about Bill getting naked and things like that. Howard said they have to fast forward 12 years to Bill having diarrhea.
Bill got in another plug for his one man show. Howard said he's not being emotional about this whole thing. Bill said that he's excited and obsessed by this whole thing. Bill said that he got the stomach flu and he still had to be good doing the show. He said that was an additional layer to the whole thing. He said his wife took care of him and he realized again how much he loves her. He said that this whole New York experience helped him rediscover his love for his wife.
Howard asked if Bill was a great lover and if Elizabeth compared him to her previous husband. Elizabeth said that it's a continuum from one person to another. Howard said they're about to get into it. Howard asked who was bigger. She said that the more experience you have the bigger it all gets. Howard asked if Bill is big. She said he's a big star and an icon.
Howard said that they learned that their marriage is good. Howard asked if Elizabeth met Leonard Nimoy yet. She said she loves Leonard. Howard asked if he's mentioned in the one man show. Bill said that he does mention him briefly. Howard asked if he talks about George Takei in the play. Bill said he opens with George.
Howard had some edited clips of Bill from an audio book that Richard edited. He asked Elizabeth what she thinks about that. She didn't understand what he was saying. Howard said it's better she doesn't.
Howard asked if Bill is obsessed with his career or is he satisfied. Bill said that he's happy with his wife. Elizabeth said that they're very grateful to be together. She said that they have channeled their love into charity causes and things like that. Elizabeth said they are taking that empathy and compassion and reaching out to charities for the war vets and people like that. She said they really do need help as much as the children they help. She said they don't endorse war or anything like that but they do support the troops.
Howard asked if they think that the flag should have been flown at half staff for Whitney Houston. Bill said no. He asked why they would do that. Howard said he agrees because that should be saved for people who serve their country. Bill said that it is a sorrowful thing. He said they did lose a great performer. Elizabeth said she thinks they should find another way to show their compassion.
Howard asked if Bill was in a feud with Carrie Fisher over Star Wars and Star Trek. Bill said he was. He said that Star Trek is so much better. Howard said that he can see that. Bill said that if you come and see the show you'll understand that even more. Howard gave them some plugs for the one man show and for his web site ShatnersWorld.com. Shatner got in some more plugs after Howard gave them. Shatner said he's off today and just out promoting this web site.
Howard told them that he's going to be on America's Got Talent. Shatner wondered how he got that gig. Howard told him he took over for Piers Morgan. Shatner sounded shocked. Elizabeth said that they'll have to watch it this year then. Gary came in and said that Mr. Shatner really has to go. Howard wrapped up and gave him some more plugs. Robin said that Leonard Nimoy has announced he's retiring so when is Bill going to retire. Howard said Leonard is a pussy. He told Elizabeth she's the luckiest woman in the world being married to Bill. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he had some time to take a couple of calls. Howard asked who was singing the song. Fred said it was Bowie. Howard said he sounds terrible. He said it didn't sound like Bowie to him. Fred said it was him. Howard said he does love him though.
Howard picked up on Eric the Midget and Johnny Fratto. Johnny could be heard snoring in the background. Howard gave up and picked up on the guy who called in yesterday and fell asleep. He wasn't there either. Howard said Eric the Midget was supposed to be on the phone. Gary said he just tweeted that he had waited long enough and he's done with the show. Howard said he's always done with the show.
Howard said the guy who was snoring yesterday wasn't there either. Howard said he had him on in there while he was eating his lunch yesterday and he was snoring. He said it's crazy. Gary said Steve told him that Eric thought they were going to talk about their L.A. stories together. Howard said he saw video of Eric out there and he looked so happy when the girls were rubbing their boobs on his head.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie will be seen on America's Got Talent. Howard said he's not sure what they're going to show. He said this isn't the Howard Stern Show. He said he's just a judge on the show.
The caller asked if Howie has tried to mess with him yet. Howard said that won't happen. He said he pulled him to the side and told him he doesn't have a good sense of humor about himself. He said he will kill Howie if he tries to prank him. He said he will punch him out. He thinks that Howie respects him enough not to do that to him though.
The caller asked when the show will start airing. Howard said it will be in May. The caller said he doesn't care about that show but he's ready to watch. Howard said it looks weird to see him on a Network TV show. Howard said it doesn't look right.
The caller said that he'd like to get on a list for the New York live show. Howard said he's not sure they have it all set up yet. The caller said he'd call back then.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to tell him how he got kicked out of school when he was in high school. He said it triggered with Howard. Howard said he doesn't think he cares. Robin said he'd better hurry up and get to it. Howard said he doesn't think it will be a good phone call. He said he'll give it a try.
The caller, Lou, said he went to a Christian high school and another school was pranking them. Howard gave up. He hit the buzzer on him. Robin did too. Fred said he's hitting the buzzer too. Howard said he won't be going on to Las Vegas. Howard thanked Lou for the call anyway. Howard said this is kind of what America's Got Talent is like. He said he had to do that to a singer. He said he gave it about 30 seconds and buzzed the kid. He said he was cute but he had to hit the buzzer.
Howard said you have to tell the kid why you hit the buzzer and it's very weird. He said that he hasn't called out any of the parents yet either. He said that the kid was just 9 years old. He said it's a major moment in the child's development. Robin said she's glad they talked that one guy out of bringing his daughter to Texas. Howard said he's sitting there waiting to go to San Francisco to talk to more little kids. He said he didn't know how many kids were going to be on. He said they had a 5 year old show up. He said he thinks he hit the buzzer on that kid too. He said Howie made that kid cry. He stopped himself and said he shouldn't talk about that stuff. He said he should be saving it.
Howard said he'd like to see a biopic of a serial killer where he starts out on America's Got Talent and he buzzes him.
Mutt said they'll talk about America's Got Talent and Howard's L.A. trip and things like that. Howard said he's kind of annoyed he has to go to San Francisco now. He said once they're in New York it should be okay. Howard said he's feeling scratchy in his throat and he's worried about that. He said he has to get through the next couple of weeks. Mutt said he can do it. Howard said he'd like to feel good while he's doing it.
Mutt said they're going to talk about Howard making up with Ellen and how he's made up with other people. Howard said it's just wrong what they're doing to Ellen. Howard said he heard that Kathie Lee Gifford was in his hotel when he was out there in L.A. He said he just stayed in his room. He said he imagines Frank Gifford kicking his ass. Gary said he's seen him around and he thinks Howard could kick his ass. Gary said the guy will be 82 in August. Howard said Shatner is 81 and still pretty spry.
Howard wondered if Frank can still get it up. He said he's not sure that Shatner can. He said you never know if he's lying or not. Howard told Mutt that he had to go. Robin said that she has learned that men need sex from these seminars. She said that guys are much different than women. Howard said that he really does need it. Robin said it's different for men. Howard said she had to pay a woman to tell her that.
Mutt got in a few more things for tonight's Superfan Roundtable (Tonight at 7pm on Howard 101) and then Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show.
Howard said that he doesn't remember the first time he came. He said he knows that Richard learned from a friend who taught him how to do it. Howard said he thinks that Richard is sort of gay. He said he'd bet that he's given a hand job to a guy at least. Gary asked if it's gay to beat off in a room with another guy. Howard said he had a friend who asked him to beat him off. He said that another guy asked him to beat off at the same time in the same room and he refused to do it. Howard said he thinks that his friend was up to something gay.
Gary said this new cardinal has said that he's for celibacy and he's always been that way. Gary asked Howard if he's ever had a wet dream. Howard hasn't. Gary said he had one when he was young. Howard said Gary is really horny. He even got a hard on when he was on stage once. Howard said Gary had that dopey look on his face with his mouth open and this big lump in his pants. He said Gary said he couldn't help it. Howard said he was on stage though. Gary said he just saw two girls going down on each other.
Gary said that he learned about wet dreams from his Boy Scout manual. He said he read about nocturnal emissions and that helped him get over it. Howard said maybe the cardinal has had those.
Howard said he heard that the guy is there on the Catholic Channel all the time. Gary said he heard that the guy knows of Howard and he thinks Howard is okay. Howard said no one like that thinks he's okay. Howard said he'd love to have the guy on the show to talk about jerking off. He said he's curious as hell. Howard said the guy is a man who denied ever even beating off. Howard said he thinks it's almost insane. Gary said that he's married to God and it's a higher calling so he's better than that. Howard said he wants to know if he ever beat off. That's it.
Robin said today is Ash Wednesday so don't ask anyone to wipe it off their head. Robin read about what the ashes stand for and talked about that with Howard and Gary for a short time.
Robin read about how drugs and alcohol played a direct role in Whitney Houston's death. That's not really new according to Howard. Howard asked what they're saying happened. Robin said she didn't drown. She died of respiratory suppression. Howard said he's never been that high. Robin said that it is possible to do that with drugs and alcohol. Robin said they're waiting on final toxicology tests to figure out which one did it.
Howard said you hear so many stories about her now. He said he heard that she was so broke that she had a property with like 100 acres and she was selling it off one at a time to make money. He heard she was down to about 3 acres. Robin said that her daughter Bobbi Christina and how she may not have any coping ability either. Robin said they're saying that she got high at her mother's funeral. Howard said he hopes not. Robin said she may have to get into rehab herself. Howard went to break a short time later.
After the break, around 9:40am, Robin read about Bill O'Reilly talking about Whitney Houston on The Tonight Show. Robin had some audio of him talking about how he had no problem with lowering the flag for her. Leno said ''Of course...'' Howard said he doesn't agree with that. Robin said they have done it before. Howard said he doesn't think it's right for any celebrity. Howard said they should have made the flag higher since Houston was allegedly getting high. O'Reilly said they're not telling kids that getting high can kill you at any moment. Howard said they tell kids that all the time. Robin said there are very inventive kids out there who get high on glue and paint and all kinds of things. It's not just drugs.
Howard said that he should go on America's Got Talent and start telling the kids not to get high while they stare at him with a blank look on their face. Howard said he started getting high when he was in high school after they brought in a cop to show them this giant thing full of drugs. He said that they had everything you can imagine in this case. Howard said they showed everyone what they had and explained what they do to you. Howard said when he heard about LSD he figured he had to try it. He said if they hadn't come to them and told them not to do it then he never would have known about what LSD did. Howard said O'Reilly is out of his mind. Howard said that he figured out a way to drown out the voices in his head with those drugs.
Robin said she heard a coke addict on the air talking about what he feels and she had to turn it off because it sounded so attractive to her.
Robin said that Mariah Carey was at Whitney's funeral last week so she was talking about how she and Whitney were great friends. Howard said he didn't know they were supposed to be rivals. Robin said there were people who pitted them against each other. Mariah said that Heaven must have needed a new angel. Howard laughed. He said he saw something else like that in the paper today. He read through the article where they talk about Rick Santorum who had said in 2008 that Satan has his sights set on America. Howard said this guy should be laughed out of town. He asked if the guy is 5 years old.
Robin said that Lindsay Lohan is in the news again. She said maybe if Whitney had been in trouble with the law she could have been helped. She said that Lindsay has been helped by getting in trouble with the law. Robin said she could be saved from it. Howard said he thinks it would be great if they could whip and flog her in public if she still can't get straight. Howard said maybe they can water board her or something like that. He said he's sure Bill O'Reilly would like to do something like that.
Robin read about the upcoming republican primary. Robin had some details about some of the candidates. Robin had some audio clips that she had Howard play.
Robin read about Franklin Graham coming out and saying that they know who is going to win but they're not going to say who it is. Howard said that the whole thing is so lame. Howard said if there is a hell that guy is guaranteed to go there. Howard said it's all a fairy tale and everyone is entitled to their own fairy tale.
Robin said that Google is celebrating the 155th birthday of Heinrich Rudolf Hertz today. Robin said his invention led to the invention of radio and telegraph. She said that they have a special image on the Google home page today.
Robin read about Tim Tebow going out on a date with a 10 year old who has a life threatening medical condition. Robin said that she was out with Tim at an award show. Howard said he has to do something like that. He said he needs a kid who is seriously ill but not dying. Robin had some audio of the 10 year old saying that Tim Tebow was really nice. Howard said that's what he needs. Howard said Will swears that he did that for him when he was dying of cancer. Will said he had just turned 18 when that was going on. Howard said he needs to find a younger kid. He said he can't believe he wasted his time on Will. Gary said he remembers reading the letter to Howard and by the time they called him he was getting better. Will said he did it on the air too. Howard said he doesn't remember that. Will said he wanted to visit Howard as a Make-a-Wish kid but they wanted nothing to do with Howard. Howard said that's wrong to turn a kid down for his dying wish.
Robin had some audio of the mother of this 10 year old talking about her date with Tebow. Howard said he'd get a kid laid if he wanted that as his dying wish. Howard said that's morally right. Howard said it's not going to corrupt them if they're dying. Howard said he'd want a woman if he was dying.
Robin read a story about Chris Brown and a group that's come out and talked about how many women go back to their abusers so this isn't a surprise that Rihanna is back with Chris. Howard said that's a weird story. Robin said there are primal instincts that take over the common sense we should have. Robin said that's another thing she's learned in the seminars she's been going to.
Robin read about how the adult film industry may move to Las Vegas when the condom laws hit California. Howard wondered if Chris Brown fakes out Rihanna by raising a hand to her when she starts talking back to him. He said that he might raise that hand and then say that he's just joking.
Robin had some audio of President Obama singing. She had Howard play that. Howard said it would be great if he broke into song during a debate. He said he'd have to hit the buzzer on that act though. Howard said his dad goes nuts when the President says ''folks'' all the time. He said that his dad gets really upset about that. Howard said his dad has this odd accent because he tries to over enunciate. Howard said it's weird. He said his dad told him not to get into radio because he speaks weird but he learned from his dad. Howard said he should sound like his dad.
Robin read about a couple of high school girls who did a racist rant and now they're being stalked and have had to stay home from school. Robin said that the video they made was put on the internet and they got a lot of flack for it. Robin had some of the audio of the girls talking about accents and how black people can't be understood. The girls were using the N-word and explaining the difference between black people and the N-word. They were also talking about friends who make fun of their own race all of the time. Robin said the girls tried apologizing for what they did. Howard said they should go on Letterman and try to apologize like Michael Richards did. Robin said one of the girls was sorry she had anything to do with the whole thing. Robin said the girls are just 14 years old. She said rants like this inflame people. Now the girls are in hiding. Howard said Rick Santorum and Michelle Bachman should be in hiding for what they say about gay people. It's just as bad. Robin agreed.
Robin read about the supreme court and how they'll be hearing a case about the stolen valor law. Robin said they're going to settle a case about claiming to be a vet and getting medals when you actually didn't. Robin said that they have to figure out if the first amendment allows you to lie about awards like that.
Howard played some audio of Michael Richards apologizing for what he did at a comedy club when he went on a racist rage. Howard said the audience is cracking up. Richards was trying to apologize and the audience is laughing. Howard said the apology went horribly wrong. Jerry Seinfeld had to tell them to stop laughing because it wasn't funny. Howard let that clip play a little longer. Howard said those 14 year old girls should go on Letterman like that.
Robin read a story about a bill in Virginia about gay adoption that would permit private agencies to deny adoption by gay couples. Howard said that these kids are unwanted and they shouldn't stop gay couples from taking them in. He said we're doomed. He said he really has to get out of here. He said he has to go to San Francisco to judge people.
Robin read about a couple of photographers that were killed in a war zone in Syria. Robin had some audio of one of the women talking to Anderson Cooper just hours before she was killed. Howard said he can't imagine anyone wanting to be in power in that country. Robin said she read that they anally raped Muammar Gaddafi before he was killed. Howard said he'd love to talk to the guy who did that. He said he'd like to know why they'd do that. He said that it must be a huge humiliation over there or something. Robin read more about the journalists who were killed.
Robin read about some protests going on in Afghanistan because of the burning of the Koran. Robin said they're asking American's to avoid the area.
Robin read about Alec Baldwin and how he has signed on for a 7th season of 30 Rock. Robin said that he was going to leave but he's bowed to peer pressure. Robin had a clip of Alec talking about that on Letterman. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:20am.
Jon asked Mr. Skin if he ever has people get upset over their awards. Mr. Skin said he has gotten emails from some of the winners. He said that it's usually B-movie actors though.
Gary said that they should hold an award show like they did for the Razzy awards. Mr. Skin said maybe there is something there. He said he doesn't like to push it in someone's face though. Gary said he thinks it would be great.
Mr. Skin said they do nothing but praise these people on the site. Gary said they had Eliza Dushku on the show once and they like to look stuff up for the show. He said that Eliza told them that she had to be naked for one scene she did once.
Jon said that it seems that they're trending toward TV for the awards. Mr. Skin said that in the 80s all of the nudity came from the movies. He said now with the TV shows they have on they have to go to TV for their awards. He said they have some great nudity on the cable networks. He said there's still some nudity in movies but there's so much on TV. He said nudity has never been better than it is now.
Gary said in ''Dream On'' they had a sex scene in every episode. Mr. Skin said they have a Kristen Bell scene on MrSkin.com that's great. He said she wasn't a big star back then either.
Skin was talking about how great it is that they have a lesbian scene on Game of Thrones. He said the show is coming back in March. Jason said that he read the book and one of the characters has one breast out the whole time.
Gary said he did Rachel Ray's show and Christina Hendricks was on before him and you'd think that she's a porn star if you didn't know she was an actress. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.
Jon said that there's also the bank emails that are scams. Gary said he got out bid on an item on bay once and he got scammed when they emailed and said that the other person had backed out.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he played along with the scam and he ended up telling the guy that he got robbed at knife point on his way to pay the guy. Gary said that they don't wait for the money at the Western Union place. He said that they transfer it around all over the place to make sure they're not caught. They had to cut the caller off because he was going to read the email that they asked him not to read.
Jason said that he thinks that the headline with Robin is that she fell for the scam.
Jon said that Howard talked about how he didn't hang out with everyone there. He said that you have to figure out a way to talk to Howard. Gary said Howard said he was just going to talk to a few people and not look over their shoulders. Gary said that Jimmy seems to like doing the parties. He has people over and he likes cooking for them.
Jon said it sounds like Howard is having a great time doing the show too. Jason brought Mr. Skin back in and asked him where they can see Jennifer Lopez nude. Mr. Skin gave them the info about that. Jon asked Skin where they come up with the terms like ''Best Coin Slot'' and things like that. Skin said that's a well known term and they pick up on things like that.
Jon said that Richard Christy also sang a song about Howard's ''snoz'' and he wondered if he doesn't know that he's saying it wrong. Gary said he thinks that he knows he's doing it for effect. Jason said he's not sure about that. He might be playing it up at this point though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said in Godfather Part II they had a girl on stage who was very young and was trying to find out what her name was. He said it might be Laura Loins.
Gary said that Michael Corleone's wife in the Godfather was gorgeous and she had real breasts. Jason said that it sucks when they have fake breasts in period piece movies. Mr. Skin said that they have a hard time with the bush too because they either have to grow it out or wear a Merkin.
Jon took a call from High Pitch Eric who said the got that Stacy Lange email and he looked into it and figured out that maybe it was a scam based on what Shuli told him and when he tried to find her Facebook account. Gary said he has an IQ of 66 and he figured it out. Eric said he told her to ask Artie for help instead of him. Jon asked if Eric would ever try a scam like this. Eric said no way. Gary said that he doesn't have to. He said he can just walk into a Verizon store and tell them that Howard needs 10 new phones. They had to go to break after that.
Jon said that Shatner and his wife got together over the horses and the loss in their lives. Gary said they heard a different side of him today.
Gary said that Bill still loves fucking with George Takei. He said that he talks about him in this one man show. Jon said that guy just keeps going like a one man freight train. Jason said he can't wait to see his one man show. Gary asked if it works to keep working and not retire. Jason said he would guess he wants to work and that's why he keeps doing it. He said that he's not sure everything he does is a money maker either.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that this didn't seem to be the best Shatner appearance. He asked if they ever say no to Shatner. Gary said they don't say no because he's usually very good.
Jason said that he wanted to find out more about Leslie Mann in the movie ''The Change Up'' because Skin had said that she was CGI'd into the movie. Skin said that it wasn't her real rack and that's considered ''non-nude'' on their web site. He said he thinks in the future that they're going to have even more and more of that. Skin said that they don't deny it either. Jason asked why they would put fake boobs over it like that. Gary said maybe they couldn't find anyone with better tits.
Jon asked Gary about what Howard was talking about with Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen. Gary said that he's very supportive of the gay community and he's going to back them up. He said that he never thought that Howard was going to be friends with Rosie and Ellen. Jason said that it doesn't mean that they're friends just because they spoke. Gary said he got the impression that they are friends from what Howard said.
Jon asked if Gary thins Howard will go to Italy to visit George Clooney. Gary said it would surprise him if he did. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard Talks About Stuttering John Moving To Jay Leno's Show. 02/23/04. 6:10am
Howard said that the big news is that Stuttering John is leaving the show to go work for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. This is his last week on the Stern Show. Howard said John gave his 2 week notice and the first week was their vacation week. Howard said John doesn't care about who he inconveniences doing it that way. Howard also said that John is getting paid something like $500,000 to go work as the announcer on Leno's show. Howard said that the last guy made about $250,000. Howard said that he spoke to Leno and he's wondering why Leno had to have John on his show. He said he's already ripped stuff off from his show and John is just another one of the parts he's stealing.
Howard said Leno asked him if he's mad that he's taking John. Howard said he asked Jay how much more material he's going to steal from his show. He said that Jay acted like he didn't know what he was talking about. Howard said he told Leno that he stole the idea of sending out some wacky guy to ask questions on a red carpet to celebrities. Jay told him that Steve Allen used to do that stuff. Howard said he asked Jay about the homeless game and how he stole that idea as well but Leno said that Steve Allen did that as well. Howard said that Jay just couldn't admit that he's stealing this stuff from him. Howard wondered why he doesn't get Gary the Retard to be his band leader.
Howard said he told Leno that he can't get 18-25 year old men to watch his show and what he's trying to do is get John, from his show, to get that audience. Howard said he told Leno that his show is lame and gay and he can't develop his own people. Howard said that Leno also said he heard how John wasn't getting paid that well on the show. Howard said he told Jay that he was going to give Jay a list of what he pays people on his show so he can take care of all of them as well. He said he also found out that the previous announcer, Edd Hall, used to be Letterman's production guy which was kind of weird.
Howard said this move (hiring John) was as weird as Jay hiding in a closet and spied on some NBC executives. Howard said Jay asked him if they're still going to be friends. Howard said they were never friends so, no, they're not going to be friends. He said he told him that he's the gayest, lamest guy on the planet. He said he doesn't care what he does but he looks like a stupid ass. He also said that John gets these jobs where he doesn't have to do anything and he's the luckiest guy around.
Howard said that Jay has stolen like 20 elements from his show but won't admit it. He said that the head writer from the show might as well have a funnel from the show to his ass. Gary came in and said that he heard that Howard and Jay had worked things out and were going to ride the wave of publicity. Howard said that Jay called him again and asked him if he wanted to do his show to talk about this stuff. Howard said he's going to talk about it on his own show and not do Leno's show.
Howard said that John could have come to him before taking that job to try and get more money. John came in a short time later to talk about it. Howard said that John's whole attitude has changed since this happened. He said he went to Atlantic City with John and John was mouthing off to the dealers down there. John didn't know what he was talking about. Howard said that John kept asking him if he was mad at him. John said that he heard that Howard, Gary and Fred were mad at him and he was hearing it all from Scott DePace from E!. John said that heard that Scott had spoken to someone and they told him that those people were mad at John.
John said that he heard that DePace had spoken to Scott Einziger and told him that those people were mad at him. DePace said he had spoken to Einziger but he said he didn't tell him about that stuff. John also heard some other things about how he wanted to punch Gary or something. Howard told John that he's the most paranoid person around. He said he and John spoke last weekend and went to Atlantic City after the discussion. He said he doesn't have a problem with John. He said that he has a problem with Jay. He said that he saw that Jay is losing 18-25 year old males in the ratings and he's going to try and steal some of that back from Jimmy Kimmel's show. He said he'll never get that back though because he's lame.
Gary asked John about his new deal and asked him if his deal is a multi-year deal. John said it is a multi-year deal but he's not actually allowed to talk about it. He didn't want to talk about it but Gary kept asking him questions. John wasn't talking though. Howard said he doesn't get why it's John that they're hiring. John said they liked him when he did the show back when he did ''I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here.'' Howard said he doesn't know why they don't get their own guy to be an announcer.
John said that he was offered a job as a correspondent on the Tonight Show about a year ago and he tried to talk to Howard about it but he wouldn't take a meeting. John said he didn't want to go through Gary because he screws things up sometimes. John actually did go through Gary the first time and Gary told him he wouldn't be able to do both shows. John dropped it after talking to Gary and Robin and never met with Howard about it. Howard told John that he has to go though Gary to get meetings with him. John said he tried going directly to Howard through Laura but Howard doesn't want him doing that.
John and Howard argued about that whole thing for a few minutes. John said that he was hurt that Howard wouldn't take a meeting with him. Howard said that he could have spoken to him after that but John said he was too hurt to do that. Howard eventually told John that he's going to be sad to see John leave the show. John said that he's going to miss him as well.
Howard said that people are already sending him e-mail about how Jay is always stealing his stuff and he's always going to be lame and gay. Howard also said that he hopes that Jay isn't going to mislead John and make him think that he's going to be his Ed McMahon or something. Howard said he told Jay that he hopes he doesn't screw John because once he leaves his show, he won't have a job to come back to. Howard said he heard that Edd Hall was fired, he didn't quit. Gary said he's heard that Jay turns his back on people and could screw John over like he's done to other people.
Gary asked John a bunch of questions about how he'll be treated on the show and whether or not he'll be flying first class when he goes out to do stuff. John said they fly him first class everywhere. John said that he's not even allowed to stutter when he does the announcing. Howard had tape of John practicing his announcing in the studio there at the station. John said that Scott the Engineer was supposed to erase the tape. Howard said they don't erase anything there. John said he told Scott to erase that tape but the guys pointed out that he'd be laughing his ass off if it was someone else.
Artie said he's known about this stuff for a while because John wanted someone to talk to about it. He said he thinks that Jay is kind of weird to do something like that though. John seemed to take some offense to what he was saying but Howard pointed out that they were talking about what a douche Jay Leno is. They weren't saying anything about John. Howard said they know what this is really about and how they're just calling John an ''announcer.'' They also continued to talk about how John could have gone to Howard to talk to him about this job. He kept it a secret until he got the job with Leno's show.
Howard said that John has been with them for 15 years and he's been answering phones for most of that time. John said that he also writes jokes and bits as well though. Howard and John continued to argue about who was right about the stuff they were talking about. Gary was also saying that he was sitting next to a millionaire. John said he never told anyone what he's making and he doesn't know where they're getting that figure from.
Vinnie Favale from CBS called in and congratulated John on his new job. He had some things to say about Jay though. He said he can't figure out why Jay would hire him and then not have John do what he does best... Stuttering and man on the street interviews. Howard said that they have an edgy, hip show and shows like Leno's are trying to get the same audience but they don't do the edgy thing. Howard went on to talk about how Jay won't know what to do with John and it's bizarre. He said that Jay is a complete sell out and a rip off artist.
John pointed out that he won't have to get up so early to do the show. Gary said that his comedy show price will probably go up as well but Artie said that he doesn't think that's the case. Howard had to wrap up this discussion because he'd gone so long on this stuff. Howard and Robin said they're going to miss John when he leaves. John said something about Robin crying when he spoke to her off the air. She said that she is going to miss him. Howard went to commercial break shortly after that.
In the clip Howard introduced the new bit they had just created. It starred Howard as Mama and Ted the Janitor as the son. Fred also had a part in the bit as the guy who was going to help Ted get rid of his mama. Ted had a tough time reading his lines in the script. They used that as part of the bit.
Daniel Carver's Daughter Married To Native American? 2/23/98. 7:00am
A woman called in this morning claiming that she knows KKK member Daniel Carver's daughter. She said that his daughter was married to an Indian. Since Howard doesn't think that Daniel would allow such a thing he got him on the phone to find out if it was true. Daniel got on the phone and called the woman a liar. He said that the guy was not Native American and that he and his parents were in the Klan. Daniel even said that he'd bring his daughter and family up to New York to prove it. Howard thought that sounded like a good idea so it may happen in the near future. Daniel's daughter isn't married to that guy anymore. I don't know if he'll be coming or not but she has children from the marriage so they may come. I don't think Daniel has been on the show live before. He did appear on Howard's WWOR TV show back in 1990 or so.
In the clip Gary said he had a special guest to grab. He brought over Crispin Glover who played the dad in Back to the Future. Howard asked Crispin if Fox was a dick and he just laughed. Howard said that's what he thought. Howard said he must have turned down the second one because the script sucked. Crispin said he was actually working on another movie at the time so he wasn't able to do the sequel.
Howard said that he thinks Crispin would be a great villain in the movie he's working on now. He said he'll send him the script.
Howard said he thinks that there must be more to the Back to the Future story. He said he must have been offered good money for that. Crispin said he had this other film come along and it was a choice for him to repeat himself or get to work with somebody that's one of the greatest living directors. He said he chose to do that instead of doing the sequel. Crispin said he loved getting to work with John Gorman.
Howard said he thought that Crispin lived up in San Francisco or something. Crispin said he lives in L.A. actually.
Howard asked Crispin about a record he put out and Crispin told him how that came about. He told this story and Howard had to stop him because he was sounding kind of nutty talking about how he wasn't really himself on a David Letterman appearance. Howard said he's not going to convince them that he's another person. Howard said when his evil character was on Letterman he kicked Letterman in the face. Howard asked if Letterman knew about it. Crispin said he doesn't think he did.
Howard asked Crispin if he's ever seen him on Letterman. Crispin said that he has a monitor in his house but not a receiver so he doesn't watch TV.
Crispin was sticking to the story that this character he does is another person. Howard told him to stop it with that. He said no one is going to believe that. Howard asked if he has a lady. Crispin said he doesn't at this time. He said it would be nice if he did. Howard asked if he goes on the dates or does this other character go. Crispin said that he goes himself. Howard said he can put Crispin on a dial-a-date and get him a real date.
Howard asked Crispin what he's doing next. He said he has a part in a David Lynch film called ''Wild at Heart.'' Howard said he must not act this wacky on the set because they won't put up with that. Crispin said that's true. He said you have to be in control. He said he's been in control and he has worked with some great directors. They don't tolerate people who can't work correctly.
Howard asked Crispin about memorizing scripts and things like that. Crispin said you don't have to memorize the whole thing at once. He said it's not a play that you have to remember. Howard said he'd have a really hard time remembering anything. He wrapped up with Crispin a short time later. He said they enjoy his work and they do play his record on the air.
Chimpanzee Attack News Story Discussions. 02/23/09. 6:50am
Howard said that so many things happened while they were away. He brought up the story about the chimpanzee that attacked and mauled a woman. Howard said that this chimp weighed 175 pounds and the chimp was living with this woman taking baths with her, surfing the internet, drinking wine and shitting on the toilet. Howard said that she had turned this chimp into something very strange. The woman was even sleeping with it. Howard said he doesn't know if she was banging the monkey but they kind of implied that she may have been doing that in some articles.
Howard said that he doesn't know if the woman was really doing that but it sounds like she could have been. Howard said that the monkey lived in the house with this woman and this friend of hers came over and waved a baby toy in front of it and it flipped out on her. Howard said he read that the woman may have given the chimp some Xanax and that could have made the chimp go crazy. That led to the chimp ripping the eyes out of her head and ripping her face off. Howard said that she happened to live but she's in a coma and they're not sure if they can give her a face graft or something.
Howard said that chimps really go nuts when they attack like that and they just rip your face off. Howard said that they say that this chimp was in some Old Navy commercials and it was kind of famous. Howard figured this happened in Kentucky or somewhere like that but it was actually in Connecticut. He said that kind of shocked him.
Howard said that they had a law up in this town that said you can't live with animals like that. He said that chimps belong in a zoo. The town had investigated her and found that the chimp was okay and let her keep it in the house.
Howard had some audio of the 911 call that was made during the chimpanzee attack and it was really wild. Howard said that the 911 call was really crazy and the operator had a hard time figuring out what was going on there.
Howard said that Jackie Martling was e-mailing him over vacation and he was upset that they weren't on the air telling chimp jokes about Gary. Gary came in and aid that Jason and Sal were upset that they weren't around too because they wanted to hear the chimp jokes. Gary said they even ran a news story about that.
Howard played the 911 call that this woman had made while the chimp was attacking. The woman who owns the chimp made the call and she had already stabbed the thing a couple of times and it was still screaming in the background. Howard said the cops had to come and shoot it dead.
Gary said they only shot it because the chimp had cornered a cop in the car. In the 911 call the woman was saying that the chimp had killed her friend and they needed the cops to come. The 911 operator didn't know who had done the killing and asked why she needed the cops there. She said that her chimpanzee had killed her friend and ripped her apart. The woman asked them to come with guns to shoot the chimp.
Howard and Gary reenacted the call as Sal was hoping Gary would do. They were making the chimp noises and stuff like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's really upset about this monkey thing and wondered how they can prevent it in the future. Howard said that a chimp is not a human being and you can't treat it like one. He said that you can't have a 175 pound chimpanzee living in a house like a human. Artie said that he went to the rehab in Florida and there was a guy down there trying to buy up all of the land. He said that there was a woman down there who had a chimp and it looked normal down there. He said that this guy had a big back yard and she let this chimp run wild in her house.
Howard said that chimps that size have 6 times the strength of a human of the same size. The caller said that this is how it started in the Planet of the Apes movies. They started by domesticating the chimps and they eventually took over.
The caller wanted to know what Howard's parents would say about all of this. Howard said that he could call them but he knew how it would go. He went on to do his impressions of his parents talking about this stuff. He had his father not being able to hear him and his mother getting on and talking about how people shouldn't have pets like that living in the house.
Howard said he doesn't even need to call his parents, he knows what they would say. The caller asked Howard if his mother was a MILF. Howard said that she was a good looking woman and she was very beautiful as a younger woman. Howard said he doesn't think she was a MILF though.
Howard played a prank call the guys made using clips of him doing his mother's voice. In the call they had Howard asking this guy sex questions as Ray Stern. The guy was going along with it and pretending to be into her.
Howard said that the whole chimp story was very disturbing. He played more of the 911 call. The woman was saying that her friend was dead because the chimp had ripped her apart. She said that she was going to pass out but the operator told her to hang in there. The woman was freaking out asking them to please hurry. She wasn't able to breathe so the operator asked her to calm down. She was talking about how the chimp had ripped her friend apart. She pleaded with the operator to get the police there as soon as possible.
Howard said that this reminds him of when Sal and Richard were attacked by bees. He said that they had a 6 minute call to play but it might be too long to play. He played it anyway. It was a prank call they made to a pest removal company complaining about having bees in the house. The woman told them to get out of the house but they had people coming into the house and getting attacked by the bees. They had a Chinese food delivery guy and John the Stutterer getting attacked.
Howard had a guy on the phone who claimed that he had worked at the woman's house. The guy said he used to go up there to work on damage that the chimp would do at the house. He said that they used to have things thrown at them by the chimp when they'd be working there. Howard said that the animals get bored and you can't keep something like that in the house.
Howard said that the town could have done something about this because they knew about it. He said that the woman will probably get charged with something. Howard didn't know what they'd charge her with though. Artie said they may have to put her in an asylum or something.
Howard said he'd like to know how a chimpanzee surfs the internet. He said he may have had a Facebook page. Howard said he had some news saying that the chimp had been on HowardStern.com 5000 times.
Howard played more of the 911 call where the woman was yelling at the cops to shoot the chimp. She said that she was very afraid of what was going on. She told the operator to tell the police to shoot the chimp. She said she had tried stabbing him and it didn't work. She said she wasn't able to get out of her car and she was afraid that the chimp was going to come after her. She said he was going to rip the doors off the car.
Howard corrected the woman who was saying ''It don't matter'' a few times. He said that she should have been saying ''It doesn't matter.''
Howard asked Gary if it was true that the chimp was one of his cousins like Jackie said in his e-mail. Howard said he likes that he hadn't heard from Jackie in months and he had to e-mail him about this chimp story. Howard had to go to break a short time later. He said they have to play some commercials to make some money around there in light of what happened last week.
In the clip Howard called his buddy Dr. Lou to talk about the girls he got when he was younger. Lou was saying that he got some girls but he didn't say they were hot. Howard said he did have some hot ones. He wanted Lou to confirm a story he had told. Lou told the guys that this girl used to wear bell bottoms and her tush would hang out on the chair and her crack would be showing. Howard said she picked him up at a party or something. Howard said she was more beautiful than Phoebe Cates. Lou didn't know who that was. Howard said Cybil Sheppard then. Lou said she was stupid but she was pretty. He also said that's the only girl Howard got other than his wife.
Howard said he had another girl too. Lou didn't remember that one. Howard said there were a lot of ugly ones but he was horny. Howard said he was living in a room with 3 other guys. He had to go out and make it with ugly girls to satisfy his sexual needs. Lou wasn't backing up his stories.
Howard said he had the hot girl for two weeks but he had nothing to talk to her about. He said they didn't have anything in common. Howard said most guys would have kept it up as long as they could have. Howard said this girl could put her knees behind her ears too. He said the sex was the best he ever had.
Howard said all of the guys were dying for this girl. Lou said there were a lot of guys who wanted her. Howard said she didn't wear underwear. He said he knew another guy who had her too so that wasn't so great. Lou remembered that guy too.
Howard said he wishes that girl would call in. Lou said it was before Howard was a star that he got her. Howard said he's right about that. Lou said she might have been horribly near sighted. Howard said he did pork some ugly ones. He said that Lou would stay straight and he'd get drunk. He said he had to ask Lou how bad the girls were. He said Lou would tell him that the girls weren't that bad. Howard said this one girl needed a face job. Lou said she was a two bagger. Howard said he asked how bad she was. Lou said Howard wasn't that drunk either.
Howard said Lou got some good looking girls. Howard said he had nothing going on himself. He said Lou was in med school. Howard said this one girl came up to him and kissed him. He said he saw her the next morning and kicked her out of the room. He said he went back to her place and gave it to her again. He said he gave it to her good for about 2 seconds.
Howard said this girl had a kind face... the kind of face you put cigarettes out on. Howard said she even brought in her roommates to show them that she had a guy in the bed with her. Howard said he was under the sheets and she showed him off to her friends. Howard said that she was good in bed though. He said some of the ugly ones are the best in bed.
Howard brought up Jackie's story about waking up and finding out he was with a girl who was missing a leg. Jackie said they've all woken up with ugly chicks. He said the leg thing doesn't happen to everyone. Jackie said he had a friend who had the same kind of story. He said her leg was in the bathroom when he went in there the next morning.
Howard said he never had it that bad. Howard asked Lou how hot that girl was on a scale of 10. Lou said she was like a 9. Howard said there was another Irene that he'd like to talk to. He said that he wants her to call in as well.
Lou said he had to go so Howard let him hang up. Howard said he may have exaggerated with some of the girls. He said that he's not sure he could deal with a girl who has one leg. He said he's not sure how that would go. Jackie said it was unbelievable for him. He said that it was like a 3 or 4 inch stump that was left there. Gary was laughing and picturing the stump in the air. Howard told him to get out of there.
In the clip Howard had a caller on the line and he got him talking about how his mornings start out when he gets to work. He said Scott comes in first and he has to do stuff to the equipment. He said Scott will just stand there like a mental patient. He said he stares at him and then he has to move out of his way. Howard said Scott works on the tape machines and they all have to pile into this area that's the size of a cockpit. Then Gary comes in. Howard said Gary will come in and annoy him for a little longer.
Howard said he's not sure what to do about Gary. Gary said he has to talk to him about stuff. Howard told him to get his notes and put them away first. He said he has to help him get into the studio with all of his stuff first. He said he could carry his coat and bags and help a little. Howard said he has no hands to carry anything. He said that Gary is staring at him and he's exhausted.
Howard said Gary just stands there happy as a mongoloid and mumbles to him. He said he has to make a pit stop on his way to the office. Howard said he has to go back to the office every day. He said that last week was different because he had to write with Ivan and Lenny. Howard told Gary not to stand there and make those noises he makes. Gary apologized for not being perfect. Howard said he's far from it.
In this clip Howard had a caller on the line who was playing a Rank Out game where they were insulting each other with ''yo mama'' jokes and things like that. Howard and the caller took turns with the lame insults. Howard's guys were yelling and playing drums and cymbals while this was going on. Howard and the caller went back and forth for a few minutes with the insults.
Happy Hour With Tracey Millman Clips. 02/23/10. 6:50am
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to know what was going on with Ronnie and JD since JD has a show now with Tracey. Howard said that they are good together. Howard said he had some clips to play from the show so he'd get to those now.
Howard played some of the audio of Tracey yelling at Scott on ''Happy Hour'' last night. This is the show that JD is on too. In the clip Tracey was talking about how Scott has a very low tolerance for work and he's very lazy. She said that Scott will ask for a CD that she has to get from Howard's office and 5 months later she'll ask for it back and Scott won't know where it is and he won't look for it. She said that she'll go into his office and find it and she's able to find it every time. She said Scott is always busy working on his son's CD. Tracey said that Tim puts up with that stuff and if she was his boss he'd be out of there really fast.
Tracey said that Scott makes everyone work for him. She said that there are people there putting stuff into the system all the time and Scott never bothers doing any of it. He does nothing during the day and he won't help anyone else out there. She was also saying that he uses her corporate card when he's not supposed to.
Howard said Scott was livid hearing that but he wasn't going to call in. Then he had to call in. JD took the call from Scott and Scott was in a chipper mood. He said he loves the way Tracey talks about people. Tracey said that they got into a 20 minute argument about the credit card thing. Howard said that the card was expired and he didn't know that. He's supposed to check with her about stuff like that.
In the clip Tracey was going off on Scott about the card and how the card is under her name and under her social security number so she has to deal with that. She said Scott should have asked her before using her shit without her permission. Scott was staying pretty calm during the rant.
Howard said Tracey is a firecracker and a natural on the radio. He said that was some interesting radio there. He said radio is an empty vacuum and you have to fill it with good stuff like that. He said she should do her show from a bar or something.
Howard played another clip where Tracey was going off on Scott for not being a hard worker. Scott said that he is a hard worker and he does a lot there. Tracey said that he's not a hard worker and he has recommended an intern to fill in for him before to do his job while he was out. Scott said that was just to fill in for a few things and not his whole job.
Howard said that Tracey was making some good points in that but he's not sure who is right in that. He took a call from a guy who said that Tracey is a cunt. He said that her voice cuts through him like steel. He said that she does make some good points about Scott though. Another caller said that Tracey is radio gold. He said that she's hysterical. She talks like she's been on radio for years. He said she's a natural.
Howard played some more of the audio and Scott was saying that he's not a secretary. Tracey said he's not but he should put the information from what he records into a database. She said it takes an extra 5 minutes a day to do that and it's not going to kill him. She said that he could be a team player. She said that he could help out the team doing that and he's earning six fucking figures so he should be helping out. Scott said she doesn't know what he makes there. Tracey said that she's heard Scott bitch about stuff there and how much he gets paid. She said she knows he felt like he was getting a raw deal. Scott asked her if she would like more money for what she does. Tracey said she would but Scott was the one who brought it up. Scott said she brought it up saying he was lazy and not working for his money.
Howard said Ronnie says Scott complains every minute back there but he's not even aware that he's complaining. He had one last clip to play after that.
In the next clip Tracey was going off on Scott about not putting stuff into the database. She said that Scott doesn't bother to look for those CDs she asks him for and she has to go in there and find them herself. She said she gets hounded about stuff and she has to go in there and find it. Tracey told him to clean up his mess in there because she has to go look for it. She said that if he has a problem with her going through his stuff then he should bring it up with Howard because it's all Howard's stuff. Scott said he knows exactly what's in there. Tracey said he doesn't know because she goes in there and finds the stuff that he isn't able to find. Scott and Tracey were going at each other right up to the end of the show. They had 5 seconds left and JD had to end it while the two of them were still yelling.
Howard said he's not sure how Scott stayed calm so long. He asked how he did that because Scott snaps on him within seconds. They played some audio of Scott yelling at Howard after his push-up challenge. Scott came in and said that he didn't want to go to a place that would make him crazy so he just stayed calm. Howard said a lot of guys say they are afraid of Tracey. Scott said he's not going to go there when people throw out lies about him. He said he's tired of it and he just wants to get along with people. Scott said everyone there bitches and moans about stuff. It's not just him.
Scott said he doesn't like her going through his shit back there either. He said that it's his work space and he doesn't appreciate that. Scott said he knows everything that's in there and Tracey shouldn't be going through it.
Howard said that Tracey is still not talking to Benjy. Benjy said that she's very bitchy to him without talking to him. Howard said he heard that she said she wasn't going to treat him nicely. Scott said he's just trying to be positive and stay calm during that kind of thing because it's just not worth it. He said he does work hard and he does bitch and moan but he's trying to get better with that. Howard asked if he's in therapy or something. He said he's in self therapy. Scott said it's not good for him to get so upset. Howard said he's like Buddha now.
Scott said he held back in that call last night. He said if she wants to rant and rave then fine. He said that Tracey doesn't work 8 hours straight. He said everyone has down time there. He said they could find something to complain about with anyone there. He said that JD works very hard though. Howard said JD works and eats at the same time though. Scott said that is true so that's why he said that he was the hardest working guy there.
Howard let Scott go and said that Tracey was really laying it on him last night. He said that she wasn't able to crack him though. They had to go to break after that.
In the clip Howard introduced King of All Blacks as one of the contestants. Big Blackie was also there. Howard also said they had Adrian. Howard spoke to all of the guys for a couple of minutes before getting to the game.
King and Adrian were arguing and goofing on each other. Howard said Adrian seems to be the angriest black man there. Howard said they were goofing on each other's hair styles and Adrian's was out of style. He had a flat top like Arsenio. Howard said that out of all of the black people in New York, these three were chosen.
Howard said King of the Blacks and Big Blackie have names already. He said he has to give one to Adrian. He said maybe Karem Jeans or Malcolm 10. Maybe Wilt Chambermaid. He stuck with Wilt. Howard had Cashless Clay (Fred) read the prizes for the guys. Fred read about what they had and threw it back to Howard. Howard said they have real prizes for the guys. Gary said the winner will get a CD player. He said Tom gave that to them to give away. Howard said they'll also get a Jackie CD.
Howard moved on to the game and told the guys they had to answer in the form of a question starting off with ''What am...'' Robin helped demonstrate and had Howard answer a question. Robin was going to be keeping score too.
Howard set the guys up with their buzzers and read the categories which included I Like White Meat, Law Breakers, It Am Be My Name, According to Jackie's Grandfather and Potpourri. Robin said that she thinks Adrian should go first. Adrian went with the category of ''Law Breakers'' and Howard asked ''This rapist boxer is in jail reading...'' Adrian said ''Mike Tyson'' but he didn't answer as ''What am'' at first. He realized his mistake and answered correctly.
Adrian tried another question. Howard asked ''This jerk was arrested for speeding and caused the L.A. Riots.'' King new the correct answer of Rodney King. King chose another question from ''According to Jackie's Grandfather.'' Howard asked ''According to Jackie's grandfather, never hit a black man here in a fight.'' It was ''face'' and Big Blackie got it correct.
Big Blackie chose Potpourri and he got the question ''Name the extremity that was cut off Kunta Kinte in Roots.'' King answered ''Genitalia'' and got it wrong. Adrian said ''circumcised'' and got it wrong. Big Black said ''tongue'' and got it wrong. The correct answer was ''foot.''
Big Blackie chose ''It Am Be My Name'' for the next question. It was a question about Whoopi Goldberg that Adrian got correct. He chose ''Law Breakers'' and Howard asked a question about Don King that Big Blackie answered correctly.
Big Blackie chose ''According to Jackie's Grandfather'' and Howard asked ''According to Jackie's Grandfather, this concept frightens most black people.'' King answered ''drug tests before getting your welfare check.'' Howard said the correct answer is ''What am a job.''
Big Blackie picked ''It Am Be My Name'' and Howard asked a question about Magic Johnson getting AIDS. King tried answering but didn't have it. Adrian answered correctly.
Howard took a break. After the edited out break Howard got back to the guys and spent a couple of minutes talking to them about what they do and what their family lives are like.
Adrian was up again and he picked the ''I Like White Meat'' category. Howard asked a question about Mariah Carey and King said her name wrong so he got it wrong. Big Blackie answered correctly.
Big Blackie picked ''I Like White Meat'' as well. Howard asked a question about Montel Williams that King got right. King picked ''Law Breakers'' and Howard asked a question about Charles S. Dutton. Big Blackie got that one right. Big picked ''Potpourri'' as the category. Howard asked a question about head shrinking and King got it wrong. Big Blackie got it right. Big picked another category and got the question right. Big went with ''Word Scramble'' next and Howard gave him the four letters ''YAZL'' and Adrian got it right when he said ''What am lazy.''
Adrian picked a category and Howard asked a question about Clarence Thomas and Big Blackie got it right. big went with ''According to Jackie's Grandfather'' again. Howard asked ''According to Jackie's grandfather, blacks use this as a means of acquiring TVs during black outs.'' No one got it right. It was ''What am looting.''
Howard had another word scramble which was ''THO RWEI.'' Adrian got that one right with ''Hot wire.'' Adrian got another question which was ''According to Jackie's grandfather, to lynch a Negro you need a length of this to tie to a tree.'' The correct answer was ''rope'' and Big Blackie got that one right.
Howard asked Big Blackie a question about Colin Powell that he got right. Howard had a question about the letter X that Adrian got right. King was at -150 and Big Black at 140 and Adrian at 50 points at this point. Howard went to break after that.
After the edited out break Howard moved on to Final Jeopardy. He said King was out of the game with -150 points. Howard said that Black can wager and maybe work it out so he wins. He said he'll leave that up to him to figure out. The guys wrote down their wagers. Howard then said he had a song to play and they had to tell him what it was. He said it's the most requested song on the show. It's also a very racist song. Howard played the opening of the song and cut it off before the name of the song came up. Big Blackie and Adrian wrote down their answers. King said he wanted to write it down too. Howard told him to go ahead and do that but he can't win.
Howard went to Adrian who answered ''What am Nigger Hatin Hat.'' He was correct. Howard asked Black what he bet. Big bet 0 and he got the answer wrong so he didn't lose anything. King got the answer correct but he lost long before that. Howard wrapped up with the guys a short time later.
In the clip a caller was calling Howard hook nose. Howard quickly let that guy go and took more calls. Another caller, who had a stuffy nose, was asking questions about Howard and Robin losing weight. They also talked about Gary gaining a lot of weight. Jackie called him ''Mighty Joe Producer.''
Howard said that Gary got him shaving cream and razors and it's great. He said he had no rash at all. Howard said he was using those disposable Bic razors and they're awful. He said he would dread shaving. Howard said no one should be using those things. Howard asked Gary how often he changes the blades. Gary said he does it after 4 or 5 shaves.
The caller asked if that giant Adam's apple is a problem for him. Howard said he can't offend him because he knows he's bad looking. He said the guy is a scumbag with the worst features in the world. He asked how long ago he got laid. The guy said Robin would like him. Howard said he's probably a 4'1'' tall Mexican. The guy said he just got laid a few minutes ago. Howard told him to put the girl on the phone. The guy just said ''Come her kitties.''
Howard said he was in the office the other day talking about his nose and how he should have gotten a nose job. He said Kathy told him he has a nice nose. Howard said she told him that his Adam's apple was bad though. Howard said she's not perfect so that's not right. Howard said he has a big one and he knows it. He said he's like Ichabod Crane. Howard said maybe he could get that fixed. Robin said they do shave them down. She's not sure what the purpose of them is.
Howard said maybe he could wear a turtleneck or something. He said he used to wear a scarf in bed with chicks. Jackie laughed. Howard said if you saw his parents you'd see what he had to work with. He said he didn't have much to work with thanks to them. Howard said he has the sexiest feet though. Jackie said he should walk on his hands.
The caller said Howard has big hips. Howard said they are wide but they're not as big as they used to be. Howard said this caller is a big weasel. He said he wants to see what he looks like. They ended the segment after that.
Ralph At The Star Trek Convention. 2/24/98. 6:50am
Howard played some more tape of Ralph at the Star Trek convention to play today. Yesterday he had tape of him asking Terry Farrell out on a date. Today he had Ralph interviewing some of the ''Trekkers'' at the event. Ralph was asking them what the difference was between a ''Trekkie'' and a ''Trekker''. According to the ''Trekkers'' that Ralph questioned, ''Trekkies'' are people who are just fans of Star Trek who would be excited to see William Shatner at the convention. A ''Trekker'' is a fan who doesn't really care about seeing Shatner at the event and would rather go to the 23rd century to live the life of Captain Kirk. Ralph also interviewed a bunch of the nuts who get dressed up like characters on the show. Some of them even learn the alien languages for some odd reason. Ralph asked a bunch of the ''Trekkers'' how much money they've spent on Star Trek memorabilia. The amount spent ranged from about $500 to $250,000!
In the clip Howard was talking to John Davidson and Weird Al Yankovic showed up. Howard spent a little more time talking to John Davidson about his career before he said he had to get going. Howard said he thinks that John was better on Hollywood Squares than Shadoe Stevens is. John had to run after that.
Howard got to Weird Al. They did a quick break and came back. Al had a woman with him so Howard asked her how long they've been together. Al said it had been about 20 years. Al said she's actually his Grammy date. Howard asked how old she is. She said she's 25 and her birthday was today. Howard asked what she does. She said she does animation. She claimed to have invented Mickey Mouse. Howard said Mickey is much older than 25. He said she has the same sense of humor as Al does.
Howard said this girl is gorgeous. He said those song parodies get him some good looking women. Howard asked if she's ever watched Al do his song writing. She said she hasn't seen that.
Howard asked Al if he had to beg Michael Jackson to parody his song. Al said Michael is a nice guy. He said he has had other people turn him down. He said George Michael turned him down. Howard said that guy can't even grow a full beard. Howard asked Al's date how he is in bed. Al said she's actually an escort.
Jessica Hahn showed up so Howard had her sit down. Howard told her about Al bringing his date with him. Jessica said she saw Al at an event somewhere else. Jessica said that Howard and Robin look great. Howard asked if Al looks great too. She said she was talking to Al earlier. Howard said he wanted to thank Al for coming in. He was getting ready to wrap up with him. Howard asked Al if he won his Grammy. Al said he would bet he did. Howard said he was much more lively this time. He said last time he was on he was very subdued. Howard said he must be showing off for his date.
Robin said Al is nominated for a bunch of Grammys. Howard thanked Al for coming in again. He was about to let him go but Robin asked if he had a speech. Al said he does have one prepared. He said something lame about all of the people he had to step on to get where he's at. They went to break after that.
Penny Crone Scammed By Ronnie. 02/23/06. 6:10am
Howard took a call from a guy who said he just heard a clip of a Penny Crone interview that aired yesterday. She thought she was interviewing Ronnie the Limo Driver's wife Bonnie but it turns out that Ronnie scammed her. Howard said Penny called over to their house and Bonnie was sick so Ronnie called her back as his wife. Penny fell for it hook, line and sinker.
Gary said that he was talking to Penny yesterday and she told him that she thought that Ronnie's wife sounded like High Pitch Eric because of her odd sounding voice. Ronnie said the raw tape was even better than what they aired last night. Howard played the audio from that segment where Penny explains why she's calling Bonnie. When Artie heard Ronnie doing the impression of a woman, he was dying laughing. It was so obvious that it was Ronnie doing the voice and not really his wife.
Penny was asking him questions as if it was really his wife and no one could believe she fell for it. Artie told Ronnie that the call was a classic. Ronnie was saying everything that he'd want his wife to say about him. Meanwhile Penny was telling him what an understanding wife she was.
Ronnie didn't think they'd actually run that segment because it was so unbelievable. Howard did his impression of Ronnie doing his impression and it was almost as bad. He said that it was one of the funniest things he's ever heard. Artie said that was the best ending to a roast ever.
In the clip Howard had Jerry Seinfeld stop by while they were doing a broadcast from the Grammys. Howard and Jerry talked about the people who were there at the event and how lame most of them were. They were goofing on some of the people and mentioned George Wallace. Gary told them that someone might be listening from his group. Howard and Jerry both said nice things about George after that.
Howard told Jerry that they sent John to ask some questions there at the Grammys. Howard said they got Michael Bolton. Gary said these things aren't in order. He said John was asking questions and the publicists were getting annoyed. John said he asked Paula Abdul who would win in a fight, Sam Kinison or Patrick Swayze. He said they got upset with him over that. Howard said John has a very funny stuttering problem that's fun to laugh at.
Howard played the clip of John asking Michael Bolton some questions. That didn't last long. Howard said John asked Kris Kristofferson a question about kissing Barbra Streissand. He asked if he had to ask for hazard pay. Kris had no sense of humor and said that it was a great moment in his life.
Howard said that Jerry's publicist just left in disgust. Jerry said that's okay, he can get another one. Howard said that she must have been upset about what they said about George Wallace. Gary said that the publicist went to a line producer and the line producer just told him that Jerry has to go now. He said that was an interesting move. Jerry said he must have some important interviews to do. Gary said he thinks he's going to Buffalo now.
Angie Everhart Visits. 02/23/09. 8:30am
After the break we heard a prank call the guys had High Pitch Eric make to a pet owner asking for some pets for a petting zoo. Fred played some Eminem ''Crack a Bottle'' as they were coming back.
Howard said that Eminem has some career. He's back at the top of the charts even after not putting an album out in the past few years. Howard said that 50 Cent is coming in later this week and so is Rosie O'Donnell. They're also going to be playing ''Who Wants a Threesome.''
Howard had Angie Everhart come in after that. Howard said that he had to take a look at her as she was coming in. Robin said that she was showing a little bit with her pregnancy. Angie had some trouble with her headphones and was out of breath a little bit. She said that she was excited to see him.
Howard said he wanted to speak frankly with her about some stuff. Howard said he's heard some things lately that are disturbing. Howard said she's one of the most beautiful women in the world. She thanked him for that and claimed she didn't really know that. Howard said that she could get any man she wants because she's so hot.
Robin asked Angie if she has a dad. She said that her parents are great. She said that might be the reason she's not married. She said that she doesn't want to get divorced again and wants to wait until she's madly in love. She said that this pregnancy happened unexpectedly and it's not unwanted to she's keeping it. She said that she's 39 years old and she doesn't have a lot of eggs left.
Howard said that he read that the father of this child is the guy who was roughing her up. Angie didn't want to talk about that. She asked him to move along and get off of that subject. She threatened to leave. She said that she would leave if she had to.
Howard asked her why she didn't call him to discuss it with him. She said that she's fine with it all and the baby is coming at the end of July. She said that she will raise it out in L.A. where she lives now. Howard asked if it's really the right time. She said that it's fine and she's not sure if she would even have the chance again to do it.
Angie said that this is scary and this is just the way her life is so she's going along with it. Angie said that she gave herself a pregnancy test and peed on that stick. She said that she was kind of saying ''Oh shit'' when she saw that it was positive.
Howard asked Angie if it's frightening with her body changing. She said that her breasts have gone to a Double D now. She had to buy new bras and she can't go braless. She said that everything has changed and she hasn't even had sex since she got pregnant. Angie said she doesn't know if sex is better while she's pregnant or not since she hasn't done it.
Howard said she must have a plan for getting back into shape. She said she feels fat already and she won't stay big for long. She said that she's 4 months along now. Angie said that she's fine not being married and she won't have a problem finding someone who wants to date her.
Howard said that he doesn't like the thought of a pregnant Angie. Angie said that he didn't even like her dating other guys. Howard said that Angie asked him to introduce her to Mike Piazza but he told her that he didn't know her. Angie said that he was on the show a few times. Howard said he wasn't interested in her having sex with other guys (they dated for a short time) so he didn't want to help her find someone.
Howard asked if the father of the baby is going to help pay for it. Angie said that he's very nice and he will be helping out. She said it's nothing like he's heard about the whole thing. Howard asked her why she isn't marrying him. She said that she doesn't think it would end right if they did marry. She said they did discuss it but it wouldn't work out. She said they're better friends than lovers.
Howard said it must be weird to be pregnant with the guy's baby and not be lovers. She said that he will be present in the baby's life. She said that he's had a kid before so he knows what that's all about.
Howard asked if the guy will be in the room when she gives birth. Howard said that he would help out if she wanted him to.
Howard asked Angie if she would name her baby ''Howard'' if it's a boy. She said she wouldn't do that. She said that it actually is a boy. Howard said he thinks that she should name it Howard. Angie said that she's got a lot of people telling her to name the baby after them. She finds that a little bizarre. Howard said he really thinks that it should be Howard. Angie said that Howard carries that name very well but others may not.
Howard said that maybe Howard as a middle name would be good. Angie said she has a long time to think about it. Howard said that maybe it could be Seymour Stern and she doesn't even need to use the ''Everhart'' name.
Angie said that she designed a bathing suit line and she was supposed to model them but she had to hire some models to do that since she's pregnant. She said that her boobs are huge already and she's got another 5 months to go.
Howard asked Angie if she keeps herself shaved down there while she's pregnant. Angie said of course she does. She said that it's all perfectly groomed down here. She said that she likes to feel good down there so that's why she does it.
Howard said he was blown away by all of this. He said he was shocked when he read that she was dating Joe Pesci. She said that he's the greatest guy. She said that he's like 6 feet tall personality wise. She said that he might be a little bit older than she would have liked. Angie said that he probably would have liked to have had kids. She said that they were never engaged though. That was all just rumor in the tabloids.
Angie said that things were fine with her and Joe. She said that the height thing was only a problem in pictures. Artie said that Pesci is a cool guy. Howard agreed and said that he just found it odd. He asked Angie if she ever carried him into bed or anything. Angie said that he's Italian, she would never do that.
Howard said he went on and looked at pictures of the two of them together and he knew it would never last. Angie said that Joe can make her laugh and that's what she likes. She said that she's not out to get celebrities, they were just playing golf a lot and it just happened.
Howard asked if Joe was better than him sexually. Angie said that no one is better than Howard. That's until she starts dating someone else.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Angie when she's going to tell Howard that she actually stole a condom of his and had herself impregnated. She just laughed. Howard asked her about the bra and panties she was wearing. She said that they were matching today.
Howard asked Angie if she has money socked away to support this kid. She said that she's all good. Artie said she has Lingerie Bowl money. Angie laughed at that. Howard asked Angie if she was okay, she looked upset today. Angie said she was fine but then pretended to cry.
Howard asked Angie about this TV show she did where she climbs Mount Kilimanjaro (Conquering Kilimanjaro). She said that she did the climb and they made a TV show out of it. Howard said that he doesn't think their relationship would have lasted based on all of this crazy stuff she does. She likes skydiving as well. Robin told Angie about the skydiver who had their instructor die as they were doing a tandem jump. They spent a short time talking about that craziness.
Howard said that Angie went and climbed this mountain and shot this TV show. Angie said that the people who are climbing it now are going to be the last to see the snow up there. It's slowly melting away and eventually there won't be any snow at all up there.
Howard said that they must have loved to see this red haired goddess up there. Angie said that they did love her. Howard asked her about how they treated her. She said that she went there with her brother and his wife and the camera crew. They had 42 porters to help out with the gear. Angie told Howard what that was like and how she doesn't think that any of the guys were hitting on her or anything during the trip. She said it wasn't like that at all. Howard said she has no awareness of her own powers. Angie said that it's very hard to even breathe up there. She said that it was the hardest thing she's ever done.
Angie said that this show is going to be on HDNet tomorrow night. Howard didn't even know what that was. Angie said that Mark Cuban owns the network.
Howard took a call from Joe Pesci but it was actually just clips of him from one of his movies. They had Joe yelling at Howard talking to Angie like that.
Howard asked Angie how long it took her to do this. She said that they took 8 days to get up there. They lost their cameraman one day because he got sick going up that high. She said that people die going up there and it's very dangerous. She said that you can die very quickly up there.
Robin asked Angie if she thought she should have been invited to Howard's wedding. Angie said she didn't expect to be invited. She said that inviting ex's isn't a good move anyway. Howard said it would have been like torture for Angie. He said that he was the love of her life. She said that she always says that he was the one that got away. Howard said that she moved away, he wasn't the one who left.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that it's absurd how much Howard doesn't like doing and he and Angie never would have lasted. Howard and Angie said that they had a lot of fun together. They found interests that they both enjoyed. Howard said he wouldn't have gone to climb that Kilimanjaro with her.
Another caller asked Howard to describe Angie's breasts. Howard said she was wearing a vest over her breasts but he did see a little bit and they did look massive. He said that they must look beautiful extra large like that.
Howard asked Angie when she thinks she will be producing milk. Angie said that they told her that a few days after the baby is born it should start. Howard said that it starts with some pre-milk stuff so she's actually right about that.
Howard said that he and Beth had a beautiful week together not climbing anything and just staring at each other and the wall. Howard said that in the time he was with Angie she was always running off to vacation in places like Bali. He said he would never go there. Angie said that Howard told her that he was going to travel after he retired. Howard said he just told her that to get laid.
Howard said that he will watch this special that Angie is in. He asked her what she's wearing in the show. She said that she wore winter coats. They do start off with t-shirts and pants. Angie said she didn't show much cleavage or short shorts. She did wear some tank tops though.
Howard said that they get to see the natives freaking out over her. Angie said that they were singing to her a lot. Artie said they were probably singing ''I want to fuck you... I want a hand job...'' He sang some of those songs and goofed on her about that.
Howard asked Angie about this idea of doing a reality show about her pregnancy. She said that she went into a meeting and they asked her what she'd be up for. She said they actually asked her about having a child. She said that they want to do this show now and they're going out and pitching the show to the networks. She said that they won't go through the actual birth since she has to have a C-section but she will be going through the rest of the stuff about her going through the pregnancy.
Artie sang some more songs for Angie and she ended up telling him that he really was a foul man. Artie blamed Benjy for writing the lines for him.
Howard wondered what's next for Angie, going to the moon? Artie said that they should send all chicks who turn 40 to the moon. Angie said that's because Artie can't get any. Howard said that Artie actually got laid this weekend. Angie ended up giving him the finger at one point. Robin said that was a very long finger that she gave too. Howard gave her some more plugs and let Angie go a short time later.
York Pennsylvania Press Conference. 2-23-96. The stupid press once again asked the usual dumb questions. The fools always ask if Howard will go over in a small market and when will people get tired of listening. Why do they even bother doing a press conference? Same questions, same answers. People will listen and Howard will become number one within the year.
Today's This Date in Howard History was over around 11:40am.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 10:05am.