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Howard started the show talking about how the company Sirius XM seems to be called one company and two companies when it's convenient. He said it's one company in press releases but two when it comes to getting paid. He said it's whatever they need it to be when it comes down to paying someone. He said he'd like to be able to conduct his life like that and not be Howard Stern. He said he could just be Howard and then when he needs his paycheck he'd be Howard Stern. Howard said Sirius XM has the slogan ''We don't pay.''
Howard asked Robin how her weekend was. She said it was okay. Howard said he had to put his foot down with his mother. He said on Wednesday he was telling Robin a story about his foot bothering him and exercising in the summer. He said his mother got a hold of him and told him that she had to talk to him about this. He said she was thinking about him and how he's doing the wrong thing. Howard said she told him what she heard on the radio and asked what happened when he went to the doctor. Howard said he went there and nothing happened. He did an impression of his mother telling him that he was doing too much and he was overdoing the exercising thing. He said he had to stop her right now and told her to stop it. Howard said if she didn't stop he would hang up the phone on her. He said she's putting this fear into him.
Howard said his mom said she didn't mean to put fears into him. Howard said he told her that her thoughts weigh heavily in his head and if she puts them into him then he's going to think about them 23 hours a day and then get in one hour a day of exercise.
Howard said his mom was telling him he was running around too much. He said he had to yell at her to stop. Howard said she doesn't understand she's in his head. Howard said what she says is important to him but he can't give up running. Howard said his mom kept telling him to have a nice old age. Howard said he told her he had to move on to a new topic. She kept going telling him he was over doing it and that it wasn't good. Howard said he told her he was exaggerating and it's not that bad.
Howard said his mom was telling him he was no spring chicken. He said Beth heard about all of that too. He said that she was going to that Mr. Adventure guy and he heard that the news department got a hold of him. He said that's not something he wanted.
Howard said he had to put a stop to his mom telling him that running was wrong. He said he runs and that's all he can think about. Howard said now she'll call and say she didn't mean to put this fear in him and that she's just trying to help. He said it's crazy.
Howard said he went for a 5 mile run and he's trying not to take that stuff in but he does. Howard said he thought something was wrong with his foot but this Dr. Sarno makes him think that it's not a real problem. He said that he told him to get an X-ray done and he'd find nothing was wrong. He said he was fine when he went. Howard said his mom gets triggered by that and that's why she called. Howard said she kept telling him that she wants him to have a nice old age.
Howard said when he runs his mom is running beside him crying. Howard kept doing his mom's voice and saying this is where he gets his neurosis from. He said he keeps thinking he's going to die. Robin said he will die eventually. Howard said he thinks it's in that moment though.
Howard said he took a great shot of Sandra and she wants to use it for her head shot. Robin asked if he had to do some work on them before showing them to the people. Howard said he does but he works for free. He said that if Robin ever sat down and looked at his works she'd know. Robin said he could email them to her. Howard said she'll never see them if he does that.
Howard said Robin wrote Beth a bunch of emails and they all got quarantined. Howard said Beth just found that she was sending them and they were being quarantined. Howard said Robin is filled with viruses apparently. Robin said that's possible because her computer crashed last night. Howard said she must think Beth hates her. Robin said she did wonder why she wasn't getting responses.
Howard said he has this quarantine software and his friend Dr. Lou has the same problem. All of his email comes in quarantined.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if there's any chance Robin will be into the guy. Howard quickly said ''none.'' Howard said Robin may not be able to get into him but maybe she will if she puts it out of her mind that this is on the radio. Robin said anything is possible. Howard said that it's a slim chance but you never know. The caller asked if the guy is going to have a piss fetish like King does. Robin said she won't be into that if he is. Howard said he's only tried that once in the shower and it wasn't sexual at all.
Howard said he found out about this Paul Winchel guy and he found out that Knucklehead Smith is actually Knucklehead Smiff. He said he always thought it was Smith. He said Smiff is even funnier. Howard said he had no idea that's what his name was and it's blowing his mind. He said that's like Baba Booey thinking Baba Louie was Baba Booey. Howard said this all came as a surprise to him. He's been getting this wrong for 50 years now.
Howard said he learned that JD is a Media Editor. He said that's his title. He said he had no idea that's what his title was. He said that he wrote a Tweet that got broadcast everywhere and they listed him as a media editor.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he saw the movie ''Larry Crowne'' and he liked it. He said George Takei is excellent in it. Howard said it didn't do very well at the box office. Howard said it must be over for Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. Robin said Tom needs to be in really good projects. She said no one wants to see him in a romantic comedy. Howard said Julia is getting too old for that too. The caller said she's hitting the wall.
Howard said when you get to a certain age you have to stop smiling. Howard said this is a young woman's game. He said people told him he was nuts saying that Gabby Sidibe was going to have a tough time getting roles. Now he's saying that about Julia Roberts. He said that you don't see Meg Ryan in movies like that anymore. He said it's for young people. Howard said people will call him sexist, racist and fatist for saying that. He said he's just being honest.
The caller told Howard that Shuli has started using a megaphone on Jay Thomas' show on Friday mornings and he should tell him to stop. Howard said he doesn't have a problem with that.
Howard said that you'd think that he made good money doing those shows but he's really not sure. Howard said they should find out his net worth to see what he made doing those.
Howard said that Amy Winehouse died over the weekend too. He said Gary was having a hard time feeling anything for her. Howard said he felt for her and she was such a talent. He said that she pissed it all away though. Howard said that he felt bad for her and she essentially committed suicide. Robin said she must have done massive amounts of drugs. Howard said they did say she went out and bought a bunch of stuff and went on a binge. Howard said that her mom and dad had visited her the day before. Howard said that she must have been a mess when they saw her. Robin said she had appeared a few days before and she wasn't able to sing when they handed her a microphone.
Howard read that Sherwood Schwartz was worth $175 million a couple of years ago.
Howard said that he loved when Chuck Zito came in on the Wrap Up Show and started going off on Bree Olson. Howard said Ronnie was on first and he made no sense at all. He said he had to play some clips from the show.
Howard said he got letters from fans and friends of his and they all agreed that last week Ronnie's audition was the greatest thing ever, after Lady Gaga. Howard said that no one had ever heard reading like Ronnie's before. Howard said he was claiming he was barely reading because that was his acting but you know it wasn't.
Howard said some friends of his were telling him that acting isn't that easy and they're glad he played that clip. Howard said Ronnie got into this jag where he was freaking out about Lisa G not covering his audition. Howard said he really wanted her there and he was insulted by the whole thing. He said he thought that was great on the Wrap Up Show. He played the clip of Ronnie talking about that with Jon Hein. You can read about that in my Wednesday Wrap Up rundown.
Howard said they eventually talked about Scott the Engineer and his taking credit for the great sound of the Lady Gaga performance. Howard said Scott got upset and he was laughing his ass off listening to that too. He played some clips of Scott talking about what he actually did that day.
Howard said it sounds like everything Robin brought up Chris was doing, not Scott. Howard was laughing as he played the clips.
Howard said Scott finally got a compliment out of him and now it's being ruined. Then in the clip Scott was talking about how he was the one who suggested the piano and Gary corrected him on that too.
Howard got some more laughs out of that. Howard said that Scott got a nice complement from him and everyone went and inquired about it and they found out he didn't do all of the work he was taking credit for. Robin said that he was accepting the compliment and people got upset that he took it all. Robin said that Jared was really upset. Howard played some audio of Jared talking about how Scott doesn't deserve the credit for getting the piano in the studio. Jared said that it was Tim's assistant who took care of that. Scott freaked out on him saying that the compliment was about the sound, not about the piano. Gary said that Jared did email him that day after he had asked Scott to make sure it got there. He was kind of surprised that Jared got involved.
Howard said the whole thing has backfired on Scott. He said he might have to take the compliment back. Robin said Scott did hold the door for the people who brought the Steinway there. Howard said he oversaw it but that's about it. Howard said Scott wasn't stressing out over the whole thing. It was Tim's assistant who was.
Howard said whenever Tim hires someone there he wonders why and now he knows. He said that Scott passes his work off to other people and it ends up being someone like Tim's assistant.
Howard had some clips of Chuck Zito talking about Bree Olson on the Wrap Up Show. He had audio of Chuck going off on what she was saying on the show about Charlie Sheen. Chuck was talking about how she was leaching off of Charlie and she claims she didn't. Chuck said he knows she's full of shit.
Howard said Chuck was on a rampage. He said he had to commend everyone on that show. Robin was on the show that day so she was adding to it. Howard said he was imagining that Lady Gaga is listening to the show listening to everyone taking credit for how great she sounded. Howard said that was pretty amazing.
Robin said she heard the radio version of the song she performs and it's so much better with just the piano. Howard said the kids can't dance to the piano song though. Howard played some of the album version of ''The Edge Of Glory'' and Fred played some door slamming clips since that's what the beat sounds like to him.
Howard said that's what you hear when your neighbors have a party going on. He said if you want to play music that loud you should go to a club. Howard said people are trying to sleep.
Howard went off on Scott again doing an impression of him getting upset with everyone. Howard played some of Lady Gaga's live performance of ''The Edge of Glory'' where it was just her and the piano. He asked Fred to play the door slamming beat along with that version of the song. Howard told him to pick up the beat and play it faster. Fred did that and had Howard cracking up.
Howard said the Howard TV guys have video of Scott opening the door for the Steinway delivery people. Howard said he wishes people could see it as it was playing live. He said he'd love to have it like that some day. Robin said he's a good door holder.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to talk to him about the movie ''Hall Pass.'' The caller was echoing so Howard told him to get off the speaker phone. the caller said he was never a fan of Lady Gaga but he liked that performance. He asked Howard to play them again. Howard said he'd love to do that every day but he thinks that people heard it during the replay. The caller said he'd love to be able to record it so he can hear it again. Howard said he never knows if he should play it again. He said he loves the song but he's not sure if he should replay it.
Fred did his Scott impression and took more credit for the great performance talking about how he opened the door for the Steinway people. Howard asked if they wanted to hear the whole song again. Robin said she would love to hear it. Howard said he doesn't want people complaining that they've heard it already. Howard played the song one last time. He said that's without the door slamming sound effect. He let the full version of ''The Edge of Glory'' play all the way through.
After the song Howard said it doesn't get old. Howard said it was a good idea to play it again. He said he'd listen to it every day if he could. Howard said someone wrote to him on the internet that Clarence Clemons had played the clarinet on the album version of the song. Howard said he saw him in the video for the song. He said he read he was quite proud of that performance too. He said he saw it as something new for his career and it was quite thrilling for him. Howard said that's kind of cool. He said she was psyched too since she had Clarence on the song. Howard said he had to go to break after that.
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Howard came back and said Gary was just telling him about a girl he met. He said he had to listen to that Van Halen song first though. He said he'd like to know what they're up to. He said you never hear what's going on. Robin said there's no market for that kind of music anymore. Howard said Fred playing that song makes a lot of sense. He said they have this chick and the teacher she married coming in today. Howard said none of his teachers were attracted to him.
Howard said Gary told him this story about this woman he met while out walking her dog. Gary said he was talking to her about what he does for a living and eventually she found out he worked for the Howard Stern Show. She called Howard a pig but also said he's really good looking. Howard said he would take that compliment. Howard said she thought he was a pig but she thought he was good looking. He said his good looks overcame his pig personality. Howard said he likes to hear that.
Howard said J-Lo is apparently returning to American Idol. Howard said he could have predicted that. Robin said she seems to have already had a publicity plan in place because she's on the cover of every magazine. Howard said that's what you do in Hollywood. You prepare 2 months ahead of time. Howard said she probably told her publicist that she was leaving her husband 3 months ago. Howard had Lisa G come in after that.
Lisa G came in so Howard asked her about not going to Ronnie's audition. He said that would have been great to see that audition. Howard played some of the audio of Ronnie doing his reading for the ''Wheelz'' show. Howard said he loves that Ronnie thought it went well. Ronnie said he never claimed he was an actor. Howard said he knows that. Ronnie said he has another meeting this week. He said he's not supposed to talk about any of this stuff though. Howard asked if his agent told him that. Ronnie said he didn't want to say who told him.
Howard asked Ronnie about this other job he's going to be auditioning for. Ronnie said he can't talk about it. He's been told not to.
Ronnie told Howard that his reading at the ''Wheelz'' thing was something he had to read because they handed him the script just minutes before the audition. Howard said he claims he's never taken any acting lessons but he finds that hard to believe.
Howard asked Ronnie about being stung by a yellow jacket but he said ''yellow jack'' in his Tweet. Ronnie said it was in the back of his arm. He said he didn't even know it. Ronnie said he got stung while he was out watering his lawn. He said he may have broken his toe too. He said that he slammed it into the ground but he won't be going to the doctor for it. Howard said Beth called him a baby for going to the doctor when he broke his toe.
Ronnie said he also slammed his head in the door. He said he was bringing the dogs into the house and one of them made the door slam in his face. Howard played more of Ronnie's audition tape and goofed on him some more.
Lisa was laughing so Ronnie went off on her for not being there. Howard said that in Ronnie's defense he did get handed that paper just minutes before he read it. Howard said it did sound like it was his first time reading though.
Lisa said they got some feedback from one of the producers of the show. Ronnie said that guy is a pisser. Lisa said he was saying that he was adlibbing some of his lines and screwing up the whole thing but they were laughing. Howard asked when he's going to find out if he got the job. Ronnie didn't know.
Howard said Ronnie sounds like a computer voice reading the script. Gary came in and told Howard he had the audio of the producer talking about Ronnie's audition. Howard said that's what Lisa had just talked about.
Ronnie said this guy was clapping and smiling at him telling him he did good and then he sticks it to him in the back in this clip. Howard said Ronnie did want the news to cover it. Ronnie said she did it over the phone.
Howard had Lisa give the rest of her news preview. Lisa said they have a story about Cee Lo Green coming up to Sirius and talking about how he's a fan of Howard's. Lisa said that he said he has been a fan of Howard's for quite some time now. Howard asked if he's into girls or guys. Robin said she thinks that he's into girls. Howard said he doesn't know much about the guy other than his ''Fuck You'' song. Howard said he's a talented dude. He said he might have to have him in there.
Lisa said they have a story about Robin losing one of her phones last week. She ended up getting a new Droid 3. Robin said she lost both phones. She said she lost credit cards and things like that. She lost her purse. Robin said she was out shopping and she thinks she may have been robbed. She said she went back and it was gone. Robin said she had nothing at that point other than what she had just bought. She had no money or credit cards and no one seemed to care. She said they were going to let her walk out of there with nothing.
Robin said the store she was in had nothing. She said they didn't check a tape or anything like that. Howard said Robin puts that bag down and she's too trusting. Robin said this has only happened twice. Howard said she's too trusting and too all over the place. He started talking like his mom telling her that she was traveling too much.
Howard said he has an iPhone tracking thing and she should have had that on her phone. Robin said she didn't have that on her phone. She said she has it on there now. Robin said it's very expensive to replace an iPhone. She said that she had insurance on the Blackberry but not on the iPhone. She said she had to pay for the full iPhone. Robin said they offer insurance on these items but she didn't have that. Robin said it cost her $750 to get a new iPhone. Robin said if you're under contract then you have to pay it off if you lose it. Howard didn't know what she was talking about at first. Howard said that will teach her to hold on to her phone. Robin said she only lost a couple hundred dollars in the purse. She said she lost her driver's license and everything in her purse though.
Howard asked if she had a rabbit in her purse. Robin said she didn't. She said she had her passport with her in another bag. She said she had her keys in that other bag too. Howard said she has a lot of bags.
Howard asked Robin why she didn't get just one phone. Robin said she travels internationally and she needs one phone for international. She said she uses the iPhone for international and the Droid 3 for local. Robin said she would have gotten a Blackberry but they didn't have any in stock. Howard said she should have just one phone. Robin said she likes having two.
Howard said Robin could have found this guy who stole her phone if she had that finder app on there. Robin said she has it on the new one. Robin said she must have left her purse in the ladies room when she was washing her hands or something. Robin said she had shopping bags and the purse and she didn't realize it was gone. She said she went to try on some things in the dressing room and it was gone. Robin said no one knew anything. She said she had nothing and they tried to help her find it but they found nothing. Robin said she doesn't know how people manage when they have nothing at all. Robin said she had been shopping in other stores so she had bags with her. She said they just left her there. Robin said she would have been out on the street. Howard said she could have turned to prostitution. He said she has a money maker right in her pants.
Lisa asked who helped her. Robin said she had the car service there so she was able to get around and communicate with people. She said that she came right home after that. She was in San Francisco when it happened. Robin said that wiped her out in one day. Robin said she came home that night and hadn't even checked into a hotel. Robin said she had nothing.
Robin said she went to the bank and got money but she had to get there. She had to have her cards canceled and things like that. Robin said she went to San Francisco to shop and then came home. Robin said she was busy and she needed to shop so that's why she was out shopping. She was buying clothes. Robin said she was going to go to her destination but she spent the rest of the day in the bank trying to reclaim things. Howard said he had to go to another break before getting to their guests. He said they have this teacher and the student he married. Howard said Ronnie was saying that she was hot too. He went to break a short time later.
Howard said the wife was hot. He said that the guy must have been a sex-ed teacher. Howard asked what he should call the guy. The guy said that Jeff and Angie is fine.
Howard said Jeff was a teacher and Angie was his teacher. He said she looks really young. Howard asked Jeff how old he is. He just turned 45 and she's 19. They married when she was 17. Jeff said she was just short of 18.
Howard asked if Angie's dad was livid about this. Angie said he was. Jeff said it's been a tough road for them. He said that they're not advocating doing this though. Howard asked if she has never had sex with anyone else. Angie said it's just Jeff. Howard asked her how soon he got into her pants. She said that he never pushed her to do it. Howard said she's a kid and this guy is smiling. Howard asked if she's wondering what it would be like having sex with other guys. Robin said that's probably a couple of years off.
Howard asked Jeff about being a teacher. He was Teacher of the Year 3 years in a row. He thought a few courses in school. Jeff said he wanted to be a professional umpire but he ended up going back to school to learn to teach. Howard asked how long he had been teaching. Jeff said it was 10 years. He had been married for 11 years before that. Howard said some of the students are hot though, right? Jeff said you see it from a different perspective. He said that you see that they can be some catch when they do grow up.
Howard asked if he noticed her right away. Angie said she was excited to get him as a teacher. She said she heard he was hot and she didn't think much of it at first. She said a few days in she saw how cool he was. She said he was able to relate to the kids really well and she thought it was awesome.
Howard asked Angie about her cup size and how Jeff must have noticed that right away. Howard said it's funny how a C can get you an A. Jeff said that the attraction became physical eventually but not right away.
Howard asked how soon it was that he realized that she was so attractive that he had feelings for her. Jeff said they started school in August and they joked around in class and things like that. Howard asked how soon it was. Angie said they ran into each other at Starbucks and that's where it started. She said they sat down and had a lot in common. Jeff said that at one point you could tell there was some chemistry. He said that he told her he was going to a movie alone. He said he didn't tell her to come but he told her where he would be. He said that it was the ''This is It'' movie with Michael Jackson. Angie met him at the movie and they both knew something was going on then.
Howard asked Jeff if it was hard to teach a class with a boner. Jeff said at first it was just kissing and it wasn't like that. Howard asked if she wore special outfits to class. Angie said she didn't do that. She said she would do that when they'd meet after school.
Jeff said that she would wear basketball shorts and that was for easy access. Howard asked if they had discussions talking about how no one must know. Jeff said that he had to wait like 90 days to kiss her and he said it would be tough. He said he did kiss her before she was 18. He said he should have waited but he did treat her with respect and decency. They thought they could get away with it. Angie said she told a couple of people and that's where it went wrong. Jeff said he thought it was a given that you don't tell anyone.
Howard asked about going out to the movie and kissing. They said they talked about how it was going to change things.
Howard asked if she got good grades in class. Jeff said she was a solid B student but then they were together and she wasn't able to do her homework because she was so busy.
Jeff told Howard about how he'd go out to meet Angie and they'd lie to their families about what they were doing. Jeff said they were doing heavy petting and things like that but no intercourse until after Christmas break. Howard asked Angie if she was having fun doing that. She said that it was pretty crazy. Howard said he's glad that he didn't marry his hot teacher. She'd be like 97 today.
Howard asked Angie if she had guys interested in her. She said she had oral sex before that but he's amazing in bed. Howard asked if he has a big shlong. Angie said he does. Howard said he's a teacher so he should have a big one. Howard asked what she did when he pulled down his pants for the first time. Jeff said they didn't have a lot of room to operate that time. He said they were in a car. Jeff said he was married at the time and they got to the point where they had grown apart. Jeff said this is his third marriage. Jeff said after this he's going gay. He said this one has to work.
Howard asked about cheating on the wife with his student and Jeff said that makes it sound really bad. Jeff said that this progressed and he had to leave his wife eventually.
Howard asked Angie if it hurt the first time they did it. She said they didn't get far the first time. She said the second time they got further.
Howard asked Jeff about his daughter and what he told her. Jeff said he has two and one of them is older than Angie. He said that as of yesterday his kids are not talking to him. He said they have moved on and they've endured enough. He said he went to visit his daughter at school and he totally understands her reaction. He said that he's treating Angie with decency and respect so they should understand. Jeff said Angie's mother is for this if he's treating her with respect. Angie said her dad is really upset. She said she understands that.
Howard said her dad must be on a rampage. Jeff said they did lie and deceive so it's understandable. Jeff told Howard that the family knew what was going on and it was all because of texts being intercepted. He said that his wife deserved better than she got. He said that the teacher's union found out what he was up to and he knew that he was dead after that. Jeff said that he didn't fess up right away when they told him to go to his union leader.
Howard asked if he broke the law dating a 17 year old. He said it's not illegal in Texas but he did get in trouble for the ethics violations. He said he was advised not to talk to the police. He said he was told not to talk to anyone, not even his wife. He said he was charged with molestation with a minor and some other charges. He said that after some hearings he plea bargained to some misdemeanor charges.
Howard told Angie that he's a cheater so is she worried? Angie said it appears to be an older guy trying to get a young piece of ass but there's more to it than that. Howard asked if a young woman's vagina is different than an older woman's? Jeff said of course it is. He said he knew that he was taking something from her when he took her virginity. He said he only got it in half way that first time. He said he blew a load though. Howard asked how long it took before he got his whole wiener in there. He said it was the next time.
Howard said that he taught her to stick with things. Jeff said that they had sex and got dressed and then went to school. Jeff said that she wasn't in his class anymore at that time. He said that they would make eye contact and they both worried about people finding out. Howard asked if that made the sex even more exciting. Jeff said that the sex has been much better since then actually.
Angie said she once hugged another person and Jeff stared her down like he was pissed. Jeff said there was a student who wanted to take her to prom and he got upset about that.
Howard asked Jeff what he's doing now that he's not a teacher. Jeff said he's waiting tables. He said it's really tough. Howard asked if he has any hot chicks working there. Jeff said he's looking for a job but he can't teach in high school. He could teach at the college level. Jeff said he's open to doing something new. Jeff said that he's back to doing what he was doing 20 years ago.
Howard said he should open a Jujitsu school since he's into that. Jeff said he could do that. He said that he had nothing when he was on administrative leave. He had to go live with his parents during all of that. Jeff said that they were very supportive of him.
Howard asked Angie if she's going to college. She said she isn't right now. She said she'll have to see. Howard said they have a lot of cute teachers there.
Howard asked if it was all worth it. Jeff said it was. He said their biggest regret was that they got caught. He said the ideal thing would be to be more subtle. Angie said that they should have waited until she graduated. Howard said if they had waited then there probably wouldn't have been any charges. Jeff said he hears that this goes on far more often than you expect. Howard asked if he would go back in time and not do it in a car and maybe do it in a van. Angie said once they got into a bed it was so great.
Angie said that they moved out of town and got away because she was ''that girl'' to everyone in town. She said that they had reporters staking out his house and things like that. Angie said she gets it and why people were upset. Howard asked if she has a job. She said she does and she's working in the restaurant business. She said she works the register and things like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who called Jeff some names and said that Angie is a home wrecking fuck. He went off on both of them for a minute. Howard said he would be angry too if this was his daughter. Jeff said that he understands what he did was wrong and he would like to make amends.
The caller said that this chick is no different than that girl who put a bullet in the guy's wife's head. Howard asked the caller if he has a job for this guy. The guy said he would have him cleaning the bottom of his shoe with his face.
Ham Hands Bill called in asked if Jeff licked her ass and vagina. Jeff said there is a fantasy sexual life and that kind of thing doesn't happen in your regular life. He said he hasn't had to convince her to do anything she doesn't want to. He said that they have done some things that he wouldn't have done in his regular life though. Howard said he is still her teacher by teaching her to have anal and things like that.
Howard asked if Jeff ever brought any other students into his bed. Jeff said it wasn't like that. Bill asked if she swallows. Angie was laughing and saying that she does that kind of stuff.
Howard asked Bill if he would cross that line with a student. Bill said that he would do all kinds of things but wait until she was 18.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has a similar story to this and he has to say that it's just not right. Howard said he doesn't think it's right. The caller said when he was in high school he was dating a girl and... Howard cut him off and said he's a bore. The caller said that the teacher was 75 years old and he was fucking one of the 16 year old students. Howard had to hit the delay when the caller said the name of the teacher. The caller said that they think no one knows about it but... Howard cut him off and hung up on him. He said he was boring. Jeff said he gets that it was wrong.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Angie ever wore no panties and sat in the front row. She said she would do that but she sat in the third row. She said she would give him her panties sometimes. She said she also wore the gym shorts so he could get in there easy.
Gary came in and told Howard that Jeff told them that he could get Angie into her bra and panties if they wanted. Howard said he's not sure he would want that. Jeff said he may have said that without her knowing. He said he may have run it by her but that was the hook that might get them on the show.
Howard said he's not sure what to say now. He took a call from a guy who said that this is hot and it's good for Jeff. He said he thinks this is so hot. Howard asked the guy if he has a job for Jeff. the caller said he's not in a position to give him a job.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Howard to get these assholes out of there. She said that they ruined families and they're a bunch of losers. Howard hung up on her and took another call. The caller said that they should give Jeff, Angie and Ham Hands Bill a job together.
Jeff said that they're there today to let people know they're not bad people. Angie said they're really in love and they're just trying to move on. Robin said that Casey Anthony used that as an excuse too.
Howard said Jeff is looking for a job so if anyone out there has one they can contact the show. Howard said they seem to be nice people but they have this albatross around their necks. Robin asked how long Jeff was married before. Jeff said he had one marriage that lasted 4 years and the second one lasted 11. Howard wrapped up and wished the two of them luck. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that's the very dead Amy Winehouse. He said that she had a beautiful voice and that went right out the window. Robin said her dad was there making a debut for something. Howard said he found it very sad that she died. Robin said you knew that some day you'd read about it happening.
Howard said that King of All Blacks was supposed to produce Robin's new boyfriend but the guy is nowhere to be found. Howard took a call from a guy who said that Laura Ingram was talking about what a nut Lady Gaga is and things like that. She took tape of the show and played it on her show talking about it without giving credit to Howard's show. Howard said he finds it funny how people are afraid to mention his name thinking that they're going to lose their audience to him or something. Howard said they should credit that tape. The reason it's so good is that they're not bogged down with hours of commercials. He said he doesn't mind someone replaying something if they credit him.
Howard asked King of All Blacks where his cousin was. Gary said King just left to go find his cousin. Gary said he could get him back up there. Howard said he believes he has this cousin but he has to get this over with so he can move on to the news.
Howard said while they wait to find out what happens with King and his cousin he has some audio of Wolfie going to the Harry Potter movie opening. He said that Wolfie went there to ask some people some questions. Howard said that the guys on GEEKTIME were out at Comic-Con over the weekend too. Howard said he heard that it was a lot of guys in costume. He asked Jon if that's what it was.
Jon came in and said they stood out because they didn't have costumes on. Jon said that Steve Brandano spoke to one guy who was dressed up like the Silver Surfer. Jon said Ralph was taking pictures everywhere. Howard did an impression of Ralph talking about that.
Howard got King on the phone and asked what the fuck is going on. King said his cousin is almost there. Howard said he told him to be there by 8 and it's too late to do this. He told King to go home. King told him not to do this to him. King said he would be there any minute. King said that he will definitely be there. Howard said he has to leave and he's not waiting. He told him if he's not there by 8:40 then just go home.
Howard said he isn't going to wing it until his cousin gets there. He won't have time to get to him if he's getting into something else. Howard said King always sounds like he's pleading in front of his parole officer.
Howard played more of the interview and Wolfie asked if it's odd that people visualize a nerdy, virgin who lives at home in his parents basement when they think of a Harry Potter fan. The guy seemed to be annoyed by the question.
Howard played more of the Wolfie interview and he talked to another goofy fan who was claiming that the ladies like his Harry Potter costume.
Howard said he had a new Sal and Richard bit that they put together. Howard said that he has to kill time waiting for King of All Blacks. Howard played the clip where Sal and Richard called into an internet radio show where they had clips of High Pitch Mike telling the host he saved lives. The clips were from mike talking to Lady Gaga last week. Howard said he wasn't sure what to make of the whole thing. They had Mike telling him he was a hero and he had changed so many lives and explaining why that was. The host kept thanking him. The host said he didn't know what to say. He thought Mike was a woman. Another caller agreed that the host does change lives.
Gary told Howard that King of All Blacks is still looking for his cousin out on the street. Howard said this was a big waste of time. Howard said King is all fat again too. He said he's got big titties. Gary said he was pacing up and down the sidewalk. Gary said that King just wants to get close to Howard and that's all this is. Howard told him to bring him up. The cousin showed up so Howard said he's pissed and he's not sure what to do. Howard said the guy wasn't even rushing. Howard said not that many guys get the chance to get on the air. Robin told Howard to tell him to come back another time. Howard said he's late. He said maybe they'll give him 5 or 10 minutes. Howard said he had to take a break first.
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Howard came back and had the guys bring in King of All Blacks and his cousin Noel. Howard told King to take his hat off and put on his headphones. Howard said Noel was supposedly interested in Robin but he's late by over and hour. Noel said he figured better late than not late. Howard told him that Robin isn't going to put up with this nonsense. Robin said it doesn't make a good impression. Noel laughed and asked about the second time.
Howard said this is King's cousin but he has lighter skin than him. King said he likes being darker. He said he goes on vacation and likes turning darker when he's out in the sun. King said he would like to be light skinned with a tan. Howard said he thinks his cousin could pass for someone other than a black man. He said he's got what is valuable in the black community.
Howard asked Noel how old he is. Noel is 45. Howard asked Robin what she thinks about that. Robin didn't seem to have a problem with that. Howard asked Noel what's wrong with him that he can't get along with a woman. He said he's been traveling around the world for 25 years. He's currently a prosecutor and investigator for the taxi and limousine service. King told everyone to watch out. Howard asked if he's paid over 50,000 a year. Noel said unfortunately it doesn't.
Howard asked Noel about doing body guard work and how he got to cover a bunch of celebrities. Noel said it was rough traveling so he had to give it up. He said it cost him some relationships.
Howard asked Noel about his cousin and if he's the joke of the family. Noel said just about. He said he loves his cousin to death but he has no choice. King got a laugh out of that. Howard asked Noel if he had to beat up fans when he was a body guard. He said he did have to use his hands but not beat anyone up. Noel said he used to bodyguard for Madonna and he had to be there when she'd go out for a run. He said he never had to kill anyone but he did have to protect these people from some people.
Howard said Noel appears to be kind of intimidating. He found out he went to school to learn to be a body guard. Noel said that King has seen him from the club days. Howard asked if Madonna ever came on to him or if Eminem ever came on to him. Noel said that they never did.
Howard asked Robin what she was thinking. Robin said he wasn't looking at her at all. Noel started to look at her and stared her down. Noel said she was speaking so he was looking at her and listening. He said that they should go out and see what happens. Robin wanted to know how this all came about. She figured that it was all King's idea. Noel said they were talking and he asked how he got involved with the show. He said that King mentioned Robin's name and he thought about her. King said they were talking about her titties and her braids. Noel thanked him for throwing him under the bus. King said he wasn't trying to throw him under the bus. He said that's what he was thinking when they were talking. King also said that he thought Robin was into white guys and only white guys. Robin said she's dated all kinds of guys.
Howard asked Noel about dating and if he has been with all races. Noel said he has dated all types and he doesn't mind. Howard asked if he's been in long term relationships. Noel said he has but he doesn't have any kids. Howard said that's probably a good thing for Robin. Robin said it doesn't make her feel good. She said she doesn't have a judgment on anyone who has kids. Howard said this sounds like it could be a match. He asked King to show him the size of his cousin's penis with his hands. Robin said he had his hands very far apart. King said sometimes he washes the car with it. Howard told him that he could just put the head in if he's that big. Noel said he's alright down there.
Howard asked Noel if he's ever been peed on or beat off to some woman's foot. Noel doesn't do that stuff. That's all King's fetish. Noel said he's an open minded guy though. Howard said he wants to make sure he's open to Robin getting enemas and stuff like that. Howard asked if that turns him off. Noel said it doesn't turn him off at all. Howard said it's all very new age stuff.
Robin said Fred read something in the bio that bothered him. Howard said he knows what it is. It was about his ideal date including miniature golf. Robin said she's never been to miniature golf. Noel said he plays golf so playing mini golf would be fun for him. He would like to eat outside too. Robin hates eating outside. Robin said she hates standing up eating or eating in the grass. Noel said he'd bring a chair. Howard said it sounds romantic to him.
Robin didn't sound interested. Howard asked if Noel minds that Robin spent $15,000 for a cat to get a kidney implant. Howard said she has a bunch of cats too. Noel isn't allergic or anything.
Howard turned the mic over to Noel and let him say a few words to Robin. Noel said ''ladies first.'' Robin said she didn't have anything to say. Noel told Robin that she has a vibrant smile and he'd like to have dinner or lunch with her. Robin said she'd have to think about it. Noel said he would do lunch if that's less of a commitment to her. Howard said maybe they can have a drink or something. Howard said he isn't going to put Robin on the spot right now. He asked how she will let him know if she's going to go out on a date. Robin said she'll get in touch with King.
Howard said he respects Noel for asking her out because he knows there can be rejection. Howard said he approves based on what he's seen and heard. Robin said that King once showed up on her doorstep. King said you can't do that nowadays though. King said Robin saw his convertible. Robin said she was busy running so she didn't see his car.
Howard said he respects that Noel came down here and gave it a try. He said it's not easy to do something like this. King said they should go out and he thinks that it will work out. He said Noel is smooth and he's easy to talk to. King said he has green eyes too and they're real so they don't come out at night.
King was goofing on Ronnie's suit today. He said that his jacket is too short and his pants are too long. Ronnie came in and told King if he had feet like him he wouldn't be wearing shoes like he has. Ronnie goofed on King and King did it right back to him.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who asked if the guy is attractive to Robin. Robin said he is an attractive man. Mariann said that she should go out with him then. She said she can go out to a restaurant or something. Howard said she's right and they could go out. King said Mariann has nice feet and he busted one out for her. He said she put a picture up on Twitter and he beat off to it.
Howard took some more calls and one guy pointed out that Robin is a vegan so this guy has to put up with that. Noel said he has no problem with that. He said he does the wheat grass thing himself. Howard said that's very nice.
Howard let King get in a plug for his Black on Black show that's on tonight on Howard 101. Howard said he has to get to news so he had to wrap this up. Howard asked Gary to come in and help them out of there.
Howard said he's having a hard time getting a read on Robin. King was having a hard time walking so Howard asked what's up with that. King said he has problems with his knees. Howard told him to get out of there. King asked him to take a picture of Beth's feet for him. Howard told him to get out and lose some weight. He said he's walking like an old man.
Howard asked if Robin is going to go out with him. Robin said she won't based on this initial meeting. She said he's kind of quiet. Howard said he's seen Robin with some very noisy guys. Howard said Mr. X was very quiet but there was another guy, Warren, who was very noisy. Jim Florentine was kind of quiet too. Howard said he would shut down when they went out. Howard said this guy might be too quiet for her too. Robin didn't see anything there. She said he might be a nice guy but she doesn't think that they're going to hit it off.
Jon Hein was in so he said he didn't see it either. Howard took a call from a woman who said that the guy didn't make enough money for Robin to date. Robin said she doesn't think about that kind of thing. The woman said it's just not enough. The caller said Robin would have to pay for everything.
Howard said this is the kicker to the story. He said Noel put on a bit of an act. He said that he's actually worth over a billion dollars. Robin said that didn't change anything. Howard said that's good because he's lying.
Gary came in and said that King and Noel weren't hearing this and they still think that Robin is going to call. King thinks she's playing it down so when she does call it's not that big of a deal. Fred played a bunch of clips of Robin saying ''I need a cock!'' and things like that.
Robin read about Captain America being number one at the box office this weekend. She saw it and said she'd give it a thumbs up. Howard hasn't seen it yet. He said he can't believe he hasn't seen it.
Howard said that he heard Dax Sheppard and Jimmy Kimmel goofing on his photography on Jimmy's show. Howard said he sent them a picture that he took and Jimmy said it was the best picture that he had ever taken in his life. He told Jimmy to show people what he had taken and stop goofing on him.
Robin read more about the Captain America movie and how well it did at the box office. Howard said he wants to see it. Robin had some audio of an actress talking about how there are women who would like this movie. Howard didn't want to hear that clip.
Howard said he saw the movie ''Adjustment Bureau'' and he thinks Beth would like that. Robin said she liked it but was disappointed in the ending. Howard said he enjoyed it. Robin said it was a long way to go for that ending. Howard said it was a good rental.
Robin read more box office news and how the Harry Potter movie dropped off a bit. She said it's the most lucrative franchise in the history of movies. They beat out Star Wars. Howard said he liked the first and second but didn't get into the third or fourth. Howard said he should see the fourth and final. Robin said she thinks the fourth one was the best of the series. Robin told him to see the Deathly Hallows part 1 and 2. Howard said he'll have to do that.
Howard and Robin ended up talking about cameras. Howard said he's going to be moving up to a professional camera now that he's practiced with the other camera. Robin told Howard he should be taking pictures of the first gay couples that got married there in New York. That led to them talking about that for a few minutes.
Howard said Benjy was out on the streets talking to the God Hates Fags people. Howard said that Benjy was out annoying them like they annoy people with their protests. Howard said Benjy was out on the street and people were screaming mad out there. Robin had some audio of people talking about how wrong it is to have gay marriage. Howard wondered why people care.
Howard found the clip of Benjy going out and annoying the God Hates Fags people. Howard said that those people are always looking to be interviewed. They were avoiding Benjy. Howard said they protest servicemen's funerals.
Howard played the audio of Benjy asking the God Hates Fags people about gay marriage and they were saying that he should show some respect and stay out of the lot they're in. Benjy kept asking questions and if they think that it's a sin to mix cotton and wool. Howard said they were annoyed with Benjy asking questions but they protest people's funerals. Benjy said he thought they loved them. He said that he hates their message but they're usually so friendly and nice. He said they weren't excited to see him or anything.
Howard said maybe Benjy is such a turn off that everyone just dislikes him. Benjy said he had gay people kicking him too. He'll have more tape of that tomorrow.
Robin read some news about the gay marriages that started this weekend. Robin said that Mayor Bloomberg did one of the first marriages. Robin had some audio of that.
Howard said Joey Boots got a Baba Booey out on some national telecast. Howard said he thinks it was on CNN. He had the audio of that. Joey just got on camera and started yelling out ''Baba Booey, Baba Booey... Howard Stern's penis.'' Howard said the anchor woman looked so pained by that too. Howard said Joey just pops in and he's huge. He said he stands there yelling and they don't know what to do.
Howard played some audio of Pablo Dylan doing a rap song. Robin wondered why rich kids always do rap.
Robin read about Amy Winehouse and how she died over the weekend. She said she was found in her apartment and they suspect a drug overdose. Robin said she was discovered lifeless in her home. Robin had some clips of her songs that she had Howard play. Howard said Amy was such a drug addict that she had emphysema already. She was only 27. Robin said she had to cancel some performances recently because she wasn't able to perform. Howard said she had such a talent. He said she was so messed up and he felt bad for her. Gary didn't feel so bad for her though. Howard did a live commercial after that. Robin read some more about Amy Winehouse and had some more of her music to play. Howard said they had her booked to do the show at K-Rock but she never showed up.
Robin read about Casey Anthony and how she may have gotten a million dollar pay off for her story. Robin said someone has come out and said that story is not true.
Robin read about the NFL working on possibly getting the season going soon. Fred played the music that FOX uses for their sports and that got Howard thinking about how they need lyrics for that.
Robin read about the bombing that happened in Oslo, Norway. Robin said he killed 7 people in one location and then took a trip to another place where they had about 600 kids in a camp and shot people up. He was dressed as a police officer. Robin said that the kids were all running away from him but the cops were nowhere near the place so it took them 50 minutes to get there. Robin said the cops had to wait for a boat to get to them to get to this area. Robin said it took them another 40 minutes to figure out where the guy was once they got to this island. Robin said he told the kids that he was a cop and he'd shoot them as soon as they came to him. Robin said they say the guy never really bothered anyone until this. Robin said they say about 92 people were killed. Robin said the guy surrendered when the cops got there. She said that he's supposed to appear in court today.
Robin read about the debt ceiling discussions that are going on and how they're still trying to work that out.
Robin read some news about the Dominique Strauss Kahn case. She had some details of that.
Robin read about how the Jackson family is going to be putting together a tribute concert for Michael. Robin had the details of that story. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:15am.
Jon went over some of the other stuff that he wanted to talk about today. Jon mentioned Ronnie's audition tape, Robin losing her purse in San Francisco and more. Gary wondered how she flew home if she didn't have her driver's license. Benjy said Robin had her passport. He said if they knew who she was when she got to the airport they could have let her on too.
Jon went over a few more things he was going to cover today. He said he wanted to start off with Jeff and Angie. Jon said it was a bit disturbing. Gary said Jon was struggling with that one. He said Jon has two daughters and one is in high school. Gary said he was trying to talk him off the ledge. He said he thinks that these kind of people look for people who are in distress and he's pretty sure that his daughters won't fall for that.
Jon said that he would feel differently if they had waited until Angie was 18. Benjy said he gets that you need a cut off rule for age. He said he thinks 18 is good but what Jeff did wasn't child molestation. Gary said when you send your child to school you shouldn't have to worry about the teacher. Gary said that it's easy to pray on someone like that.
Ronnie came in so the guys asked if he has a cut off date. Ronnie said he thinks that 21 is a good age. He said the guy came across kind of flaky today. He said he got some calls and people were asking if he was a creep. He said that they thought that he sounded kind of creepy.
Jon asked Ronnie what happened to him over the weekend. It sounded like he got the crap beat out of him. Ronnie said he got stung by a bee, stubbed his toe on a chair and then he had the door slammed on his head. He said the door was a metal door and it slammed him in the head. Ronnie said that's about it for his abuse.
Jon asked Ronnie if the audition tape thing bothered him. Ronnie said that it kind of pissed him off what the producer was saying about his audition. He said they handed it to him at the last minute. Jon asked if he would have done a better job if he had gotten it more ahead of time. Ronnie said he thinks he could have and he could have memorized more of it.
Jon asked Ronnie about when they're going to start production. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said he thought he had the job so he's not sure why they're saying they have 500 people to audition for the part. Ronnie said he has his own thing going on so he'll see what happens. He said he's meeting with FOX tomorrow. He said that this guy produced The Best Damn Sports Show and things like that. Ronnie said it would be kind of like what he did on the radio there. He'd be taking phone calls and things like he did on his show there. Jon spoke to Ronnie about that for a minute and then had to go to break.
Benjy said Amy had a family and something sad happened. Benjy said it might not be surprising but Gary is making it out like he thinks she had it coming and she deserved it. Gary said that's not what he thinks.
Jon wanted to get back to the teacher and student thing and if any of the guys knew about that going on in their school. Gary said he knew about one sub who was hooking up with an 8th grader. He just remembered that story.
Jon wondered if this marriage is going to last. Gary said that the girl doesn't know much about life so maybe it will work out for him. He said she could wake up in 10 years and realize that she hasn't done anything in her life.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that maybe if a 16 year old can be tried as an adult in a crime, maybe they should be adults in something like this. He said the guy didn't rape her or anything. The caller said he's not sure what the laws are or anything. Gary wondered how low you should go when you go with an age of consent.
Fred came in and said that you can't have a 16 year old signing a contract and the older guy should know better. He said that he knows that he shouldn't have been sneaking around. Fred said it's just not right. He said the girl can't buy a car but she is hooking up with a guy who has a ton of baggage. He said that she's a kid too. Fred said that he has a daughter so he gets it. The caller said he has sons but no daughters.
Jon said he and Fred were talking about it and they said that it changes your perspective on all of this. Jon said they have a lot of interns there and there is a lot of difference between an 18 year old and a 25 year old. It changes their maturity level a lot.
Ronnie said that Scott's intern Rose is 19 and she was going nuts in there. She was saying that he's an animal and a predator.
Jon said that Jeff has two daughters of his own and they're close in age to his new wife. Fred said he thinks that Angie will eventually want someone more her age. He said that's like what was going on with Robert Schimmel's wife.
Benjy asked Fred what he would do. Fred said he would ask himself what he did wrong raising his daughter if she was in a relationship like that. Fred said guys use that ''the heart wants what the heart wants'' excuse and it's just fucked up pervert shit.
Gary said that it seemed like they were trying to repair their relationship with their families and trying to find work. Gary said he's not sure this was the right place to do that. They spent a few more minutes talking about that before they had to go to break.
Fred said he thinks that Robin is looking for someone different than that guy even though he seemed like a nice guy. Gary said that he thinks that having King in there was a negative for Noel too. Gary said he thinks that Robin would think that she'd have King in her life all the time if she did date Noel.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that they really think that Robin is going to call today. Gary said that he thinks that they missed the conversation Howard and Robin had after the interview and they still think there's a chance.
Jon asked why King likes to start in with Ronnie every time. Gary said he might feel that it amuses Howard. Jon asked what King was doing out on the street while he waited for Noel. Gary said he was pacing out there and he was looking bad because he didn't show up so he was kind of bumming out.
Jon took a call from a guy who was talking about the addiction thing they were talking about earlier. He said that a person has the ability to quit. Fred said that some people don't quit until they hit rock bottom. He said that the bottom might be further down for some than others.
Jon took one more call from a guy who said he was calling to defend Ronnie. He said that his audition sounded kind of like a set up. He said that a cold read is a really hard thing to do when you're not used to it. Gary said that he found it kind of odd that they'd do that to him. Fred said the caller is right because it's hard enough for an actor to do it and Ronnie isn't an actor. Jon said maybe they did it to goof on him. He said maybe the producers did it to get the Stern show involved. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about Jon Hein telling him about going to Comic-Con. He said Ralph was paralyzed with so much to do out there. Howard said Ralph should have been in costume. Steve Brandano was over there interviewing some people too. He said that he has some audio of that to play.
Howard also mentioned that Dice is going to be coming in today. He said he has Crystal Harris coming in too. He said she's the one who almost married Hef but backed out at the last minute. Robin said she was about who ask which whore that was but she stopped herself. She said she was just kidding of course.
Howard played some audio of Steve Brandano interviewing a guy dressed up as Jar Jar Binks at Comic-Con. The guy doing the voice was doing it just like the character in the movie. Howard said the real guy is annoying and the fake one is just as annoying. Howard said it's weird how some of these people pick their characters.
Howard said Steve should keep the cursing out of the questions. He said he's saying shit ever other word. Gary said Steve claims that's how the questions were written. Howard said he wouldn't have let something like that clear. Howard said maybe he's wrong. Gary said Steve says they wrote the question as ''Why does Aquaman take so much shit?'' Howard said he has a method to his madness so he doesn't think he'd let that pass.
Howard played more of Steve interviewing the Jar Jar guy. The guy eventually breaks out of the lame voice and the guy starts speaking with his real accent. Howard said he almost sounded Chinese. Gary said Steve said he was a white guy.
Howard said if he was that guy's parents he'd kill himself. Howard said the guy is wasting his time and has no life. Robin said back in the day people were poor and they didn't have costumes. Howard said your parents would kill you if you did something like that years ago. Howard said they'd make you drop out of high school to go to work for the family. Howard said his father would have smacked the shit out of him if he did something like that. He said he could have dressed up as the Great Garloo. He said his father would have gone off on him and killed him for doing that.
Howard played more audio of Steve interviewing a guy who was a ninja wearing a mask. Howard said those guys are his favorite. He said he loves hearing their muffled voices. Steve was asking that guy similar questions and asked about why he was carrying a gun if he's a ninja. The guy said that he was hunting pirates so he can carry a gun.
Gary said they have a weapons check at Comic-Con but they're all for the weird weapons they carry around there. Howard played more of the interview and the guy was talking about what he spent on his costume. The guy shot his fake gun. Steve asked if he can get laid in that thing. The guy said he could but he chooses not to. He said he'd have to live with a person first and that's a personal choice not to.
Howard played another interview where a guy was just walking around in a towel. Steve got one with a guy who said he was a Witch King of Agmar or something like that. Howard and Robin didn't know who that was. It was some character from Lord of the Rings. Steve asked him what he thought of Amy Winehouse dying and the guy had no idea who she was.
Howard had another interview with a Princess Frog guy. He was dressed up as a character from The Princess and the Frog. Steve asked him some questions and the guy told him how he made his costume. Howard said that guy must blow a lot of guys. Steve asked that guy what super power he would like. The guy said he'd like to be invisible so he could go into the showers at the gym without anyone seeing him.
Howard gave Steve some more advice and told him not to say ''Here's a good one...'' before he asks a question. Howard said that's just a little tip. Steve said he's just trying to keep them there by stalling them. Howard said he has to teach him some things.
Steve was wearing a suit and tie so Howard asked why. Steve said they're going to be interviewing Tiffani Thiessen for Jon's show later. Howard asked if she's still hot. Gary said JD was saying she is. Howard said he just read that Tiffani is married and 37 years old.
Howard had asked Steve about his girlfriend but Steve said he broke up with her. Howard talked about how he was making sure that they all knew that he broke up with her and not the other way around. Steve said he dated her for over a year. Howard asked Steve if that was the girl he got into a fight over. Steve said that wasn't the same girl.
Brandano said he never liked the guy and if they're going to hire another lunatic. Howard said he liked Steve. He's not sure why he dislikes him.
Howard said he heard that Steve was mad that they'd leave him in the hall waiting to come in when he'd be doing the show. Gary said that Steve never complained about that when he was in the hall. Gary said that Steve would ask if he should leave and he'd say that was fine.
Howard said that Tim was the one who was telling him this stuff. He asked where he was. Gary said Tim wasn't there. He told Howard that Tim has a new assistant and Jared has been promoted. Gary said Tim told him yesterday that he was going to be late this morning. He said that his assistant didn't even know that he was going to be late. The assistant said that Tim had some friends there and she had no idea he wasn't going to be there. Gary said that he was on a plane that was delayed or something. Howard said he needs Tim to be there.
Howard said he just found out that Jared is negotiating contracts now. Howard said that's what Tim should be doing. Gary said he might be handling paperwork. He said that they do appear to be very busy back there.
Howard said he needs Tim there 24/7. Gary said he'll end up in the office around 11 with Tim and Tim will be saying he's the hardest working man there.
Gary said he can't imagine that Langford was bad mouthing him. Gary said he loved Steve. Howard said he does too. Howard said he heard that Steve was angry with him because he didn't get him in there on time and he never caught that vibe. Howard said there was something else that he didn't like. Gary said there were some stories that Steve did that he didn't like. Howard said he did tell him to back off on some stories about ruining people's lives and things like that. Gary said Steve took that job very seriously. Howard said he liked Steve.
Howard said he's annoyed with the people who took Steve and didn't tell him. They were allegedly friends of his. They're no longer friends of his. He said he did like Steve and he wishes him well. Gary said they did mention it in the paper. Howard said he's going to be going to work at a news station on terrestrial radio. Gary said it's all news on FM. That's the new format that's supposed to be sweeping the country.
Howard said Steve never said goodbye or anything. Gary said he did call him to say goodbye. Gary said Steve sent him an email saying that he will miss him. He said he asked him what he was talking about and Steve called and told him what was going on.
A caller asked Howard to play Steve's news theme one last time. Howard did that for him. It was the one that says Steve has a huge penis. Howard said he didn't like it when Steve would mumble his name after his reports. He said if he was proud to work there he should have been saying his name so people could hear it.
Ronnie came in and said that he got a call from Steve saying goodbye. Howard said Steve had pretty good job security there. He said he could have been there another 4 years. Ronnie said he found it weird that he called him. Howard said he heard they're interviewing some reporters to replace him.
The caller said that he thinks Wolfie does a better job interviewing people. He said Steve seems like he's judging them all the time. Howard said that's why he's trying to teach him some stuff. He said he's giving him some suggestions. The caller said Wolfie sounds kind of slow so the guys seem to relate to him that way.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Steve Langford is a fake piece of shit. He said that he probably left over his daughter issues. Howard said that's not why he left.
Howard asked Tim why he hasn't been there. Tim said his dad broke his ribs so he's been dealing with that. Howard said he has to tell his dad to suck it up and get to work. Tim said that he should be doing that. He said he'll tell his dad to suck it up. Howard asked how his dad is doing. Tim said he's 80 and he was out running when he fell and broke his ribs. Howard said he's doing too much. He went into his mother's voice and did that whole speech that he was talking about yesterday where his mother tells him he's doing too much.
Howard said he's going to let his mom call Tim's dad. Tim said Howard's mom and his dad sound the same. Howard did more of his mother's voice and goofed around with that.
Howard said he realizes that anything his mom doesn't do is bad. Tim said his dad is very active for an 80 year old. He said it's really tough seeing him get old. Howard said he used to be a radio guy. Tim said he used to do a lot of things with radio. Howard asked if he advises him on his career. Tim said he used to in the early days. Tim said he grew up in radio and he's been around it all his life. He said he started out at 12 emptying waste baskets at a radio station. He worked his way up from there.
Howard asked Tim about his career and his father. Tim said his father fell last week. Tim said he goes into work mode on Sunday nights and he has to be in bed by 9. He said that he has no life from Sunday to Thursday.
Howard asked Tim why he didn't tell his assistant he wasn't going to be there. Tim said he didn't have her email address in his phone. Tim said that he doesn't have enough juice in his phones to keep them going all the time.
Howard asked Tim about what he heard about Langford. Tim said Steve was concerned about some of the stories he was covering and how he wanted to go balls out sometimes. He said he was one of the greatest reporters. He said that he did some great stuff with Elliot Offen and Kenneth Keith Kallenbach. He said he thought they had a better relationship than this. Tim said he could have come to them and told them that he had a new opportunity. He said he didn't have to quit and leave like that. Tim said he was disappointed in Steve for leaving like that. He said he should be loyal to the company that he was getting a paycheck from. He said that Steve gave two weeks notice but he didn't want him there if he was going to another company. His head wouldn't have been there.
Howard said he loved Steve. Tim said he did too and he hopes that their paths cross again in the future. He said they will have someone new coming in so it opens up new opportunities for them.
Howard asked what Tim's title is. Tim said he's the Senior Vice President of the Stern Channels. Howard said that sounds like he gave himself a new title. He asked what Jared does. Tim said that Jared does the paperwork and follow through for him. Howard asked why he needs an assistant too. Tim said that's how busy they are back there.
Howard asked Tim why he calls himself ''Senior Vice President.'' Tim said that's the title the company gave him. He said he gets certain benefits with that title.
Howard said Tim has really grey hair on him now. Tim said he's really grey now. Howard asked when he started working with them. Tim said he started at 33. He's 55 now. Howard said they haven't been there that long at Sirius. Tim said that's how long they've been working together, not just Sirius.
Howard let Tim go after he gave the Geektime guys some positive feedback about their shows from Comic-Con.
The caller said that Artie seems like he's doing fine and it doesn't seem like he's ever going to hurt himself again. Howard said he loves Artie and he doesn't want him to be hurt. Robin said it's all about Artie. Howard said he needs some care and he's not sure how to give that to him. He said he loves Artie and Nick (DiPaolo) and they'll do good radio. Howard said that's it.
Howard said Artie is a great guy and they had 9 great years together. Howard said he's not going to say anything and about the guy. Howard said he's not going to talk about any calls they made to each other or whatever. He said he wants him to be healthy and he doesn't need him talking about how he tried to kill himself or anything like that. Howard said he thinks it's pretty simple. Howard said he's on Artie's team 100 percent and that's it.
Robin said people take things very lightly from the outside. She said they just want you to start doing it again.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked why he blames himself for the demise of Artie. Howard said he doesn't. He said he's a very delicate matter and he's just being very careful with the way he handles it. Howard said he doesn't blame himself one bit. He said he just knows it's a lot to deal with.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she gets it and he doesn't need to keep repeating himself. Mariann said she called Steve Langford to talk to him about something and he told her that he had left. She said that he loved the show and he was just moving on to something else. Howard ended up hanging up on her in the middle of a sentence.
Howard said he has a Miss Howard Stern game to play and he has $500 to give away thanks to the movie ''The Change Up.'' Howard said he had to get 3 out of 5 and he had to guess who Miss Howard Stern would fuck. They give her two names and the caller has to guess which one she will say she'd fuck.
The first choices were between a very smelly cab driver or a homeless person. The caller guessed it would be a cab driver. Howard played Andrea's answer which was ''the cab driver.'' Howard didn't like the way that sounded and he snapped saying he wants to be out of radio.
Howard asked about the second one which was between an eel in her pussy or a pig. The caller said he thinks that she's going to go with the pig. Robin said that's what she would go with too. Howard played Andrea's answer which was the eel in her vagina. Howard said the caller got that one wrong.
Howard asked the caller if Andrea would rather fuck Eric the Midget or Beetlejuice. Robin said she's not sure about that one. The caller said that he would have to go with Eric the Midget. Howard had Fred lock him in on that one. Howard played Andrea's answer which was Eric the Midget because Beetlejuice keeps shitting in his pants.
Howard asked the caller if Andrea would rather fuck Big Foot or Gary the Retard. The caller said that he'd have to go with Big Foot. Howard played her answer and she picked Gary the Retard because she loves him because he does call her.
Howard said that he had one more and the caller had to get this one right to win. Howard said they asked Andrea if she would rather have sex with Gary Dell'Abate or Jon Hein. The caller said he would go with Gary because he's a nice guy. Howard said he thinks that she was mad at Gary. Gary said he thinks they made up though. The caller was going back and forth trying to figure out which one to go with. He said he's going to go with Gary. Howard asked Robin who she would rather fuck. Robin asked if she had to answer. Howard said she did. Robin went with Jon Hein. Howard said that seemed very painful for her. Howard played Andrea's answer which was Gary so she would have something to threaten him with if he tried to hurt her again.
Howard said the caller won $500 from ''The Change Up'' movie. Howard wrapped up with him and put the guy on hold. Howard said that wraps up the game and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and had Shuli come in with his news preview. Shuli said they have a story about Speech Impediment Man getting robbed at a gas station on his way home from a comedy show gig. He lost the money he made from that gig.
Shuli said that Jackie the Joke Man will have Pat Cooper on his show tonight on Howard 101. The last time he was on Pat bad mouthed Howard and wrote on the wall in the lobby that Howard lies. Howard said he's not sure why he lets him stay on his channel. Howard said this is the typical Jackie shit and this is why he won't work with him anymore. Howard said he keeps giving him work but he treats him like this. Howard said ''Good move Jackie.'' Howard said maybe it's time to let Jackie go to terrestrial. Howard said he wouldn't ban anyone from the channels but you have to think about what you're doing and see if something like that is acceptable. Howard said Jackie has to know that he wouldn't want Pat bad mouthing him on his own channel. Howard said the two of them are very much alike. They both sabotage their own careers. Howard did his impression of Jackie not knowing how he sabotages his own career. Howard said it's pretty manly of him to let this shit go on. He said this is the kind of thing that could tip him over the edge with Jackie.
Robin said she didn't even know what to say. She said ''Who the fuck wants him siting over there anyway?'' Robin said it's ridiculous. Robin said now Jackie will ask why she has a problem with him.
Howard said Jackie hates him. He said he should rename the snow ''Howard is a cunt show.'' He said that's what it's all about. Howard said no one is giving the guy a show except him. Howard said maybe the show should be ''How much shit will that stupid cunt Howard Stern take show.'' Howard said the guy is a dick.
Shuli said they have a story about High Pitch Eric and how he's graduated from a TV production class. Howard said that's a waste of time. Shuli said Eric's real goal is to get a job with Howard TV. Doug Goodstein has agreed to let him intern for a day.
Howard asked if Crystal if she's still part of the organization. She said she is and she's visited him a few times since the break up. Howard asked how she got involved in that whole world. Crystal said she had submitted a picture to get into a mansion party. She said she was a student and she hadn't done any stripping or anything. Robin asked if Hef spotted her. Crystal said she saw him and she waved to him and he invited her in. She said they talked and she told him what she does and she ended up moving in 2 weeks later.
Howard said he read that while she was engaged she didn't even have sex with the guy. Crystal said she did when she first got there. Howard asked who the oldest guy was that she had sex with before that. She said that it was guys who were the same age as her. Howard asked if it was scary when he took his clothes off. She said that she never even saw him naked. Crystal said she was drinking and doing whatever while she was there. She said it was Hef so she figured she'd try it out. Howard asked if the other girls were doing the heavy lifting. She said that they were. Crystal said that Hugh isn't all about sex. She said he's about cuddling and things like that. She said that he was touchy feely. Howard asked if he put it in her. Crystal said that they messed around. She said they did have intercourse.
Howard said that's great that he can get it up. She said he did in the beginning. She said that he tries not to take Viagra anymore because he lost his hearing from taking it.
Howard said he went to the mansion once and a girl handed him a note saying ''get me out of here'' and it was serious. Crystal said she had a 6pm curfew on the weekends. Howard asked why they could keep such a tight rein on them. Crystal said that she doesn't know. She said the first year she was there she was able to leave and go on vacation with her family. The second year she was told no.
Crystal told Howard she thinks Hugh is insecure and that's why they do that. Howard asked if she was in love with Hugh. Crystal said she did love him and the lifestyle. She said it was intriguing to her. She never thought she could be a playmate. Howard asked if it was a dream to her to be in the magazine. She said she never thought she was pretty enough.
Howard asked Crystal if it's weird to make out with an 85 year old when she's only 25. She said it was cute. She said that he expects you to be there right by his side the whole time too. Howard said it's like a public relations kind of thing where she's the arm candy. Howard said that he heard Hugh won't use a rubber with the girls. He asked if she's nervous about that. Crystal said she was. She just went with the flow though.
Howard asked how long they dated before she was proposed to. She said it was 2 and a half years. Howard asked what she did for sex in that time. Crystal said she didn't do anything. She said she just distracted herself. She said she's into guys though. She said she realized she's very straight being around all of those naked girls.
Howard asked who was taking care of Hef? She said that he liked watching old movies and stuff so he took care of himself. She said that she wasn't into the movies he would watch. He was watching silent movies and he'd have a guy come in and play piano with the movies. She said that she wasn't into that. Howard asked Crystal why he likes those old movies. Crystal said he loved his childhood and he has never let go of it. That's what he watched when he was young. Howard said it sounds like she wasn't considered in the relationship at all.
Howard asked who shows up to see those movies. She said that they're all the same guys all the time. She said that Chuck McCann is one of the guys who shows up. Howard said he likes to have his old friends because that way there are no attractive men there.
Howard asked if Crystal has cobwebs on her vagina. Crystal laughed. Howard asked how he proposed to her. Crystal said he did it in the bedroom. She said the bedroom is huge and that's where he likes to hang out. She said that he gave her a ring and told her ''I hope it fucking fits...'' She said he didn't get on a knee or anything. Crystal said that's what she wanted at the time. She said she had no idea that was coming either.
Howard said he heard that she was going to get a good sum of money if she had married him. The pre-nup said she would get like $800,000 if she had married him. Howard said she seems kind of shell shocked from the whole thing. Crystal said it was kind of scary. She said that it was very sheltered and now she's wondering what to do.
Howard said they took care of her all the time there. Crystal said she doesn't know how to cook and they'd cool everything for her. She said she had $2000 a week allowance while she was there. Howard said she should have married him. She said that she could have done 5 years and come out of the weeding with about 3 mill. She didn't have to fuck him so why not? Crystal said that she just couldn't do it. She wasn't allowed to go anywhere and see her friends lives or anything. Crystal said she felt like she was losing herself.
Howard said they had security all over the place so she wasn't allowed to leave when she wanted. Crystal had to sneak out of the place. Crystal said she had no idea how else to get out of there. Howard asked how she got out of there. Crystal was afraid that she wasn't going to be allowed to leave. Crystal said they were going to film the wedding and she was all confused by the contracts and stuff. She said that she was going to leave after an argument and Hef called security and told them not to let her leave.
Howard asked when she did leave. Crystal said it was the week before the wedding was supposed to take place. She said Hef was watching his movie on that Sunday. She said that he had a screening for the new X-Men movie. Howard said she must have been wondering why it wasn't a Charlie Chaplain movie. Crystal said she told security she had to run to the store and got up and left. She said she came back to get her clothes and only brought her essentials. Crystal said that she had a bag of stuff with her for that night.
Howard said she planned her escape and got out of there. Crystal laughed at Howard calling it her ''escape.'' Crystal said she looked like a criminal leaving the place.
Crystal told Howard that she couldn't go another day there. She said she realized there's more important things in life than money.
Howard asked if the Playboy mansion is all run down now. She said that they're working on bringing back the whole company.
Howard said he saw that Hugh has a new girlfriend by the name of Anna. Crystal said that they were both there at the same time and Anna was a girlfriend at the same time she was marrying him. She said Anna was kind of a secret. She said that she got out of there and Anna stayed so now she's Hef's girlfriend. She said she's not mad at Anna at all. She said she knows all the reasons she wants to be there. Howard asked if it's for the money. Crystal said ''maybe.''
Howard said Hef must know that the girls are there for the money. Crystal said that's his life. Howard asked if he's upset when the girls go out and talk about this stuff. She said she's really not sure.
Howard said that Crystal is out promoting ''The Girls Next Door: Season Six'' DVD.
Howard asked Crystal if she's banged anyone since Hef. She said she has. Howard asked if she's dating Dr. Phil's son. She said that he's a good friend and she's been friends with him for years.
Howard asked Crystal about going to school and what she wants to do. She said she's not sure now. She was going for psychology but now she's not sure. She said right now she's just looking for love. Howard pointed out Benjy for her if that's what she's looking for.
Speech Impediment Man called in and asked if Hef was into anal. She said that he wasn't and they only had intercourse once. Howard asked if she was thankful that it was just once. She said yes. Howard said it's kind of bizarre. Crystal said it really is weird. Howard asked if she had to drink and take drugs to get through this. She said she doesn't drink or do drugs so she was straight the whole time.
Howard said the whole thing is bizarre. He asked what her life is going to be like. She said she hopes it goes back to normal.
Speech asked Crystal if she'd like to get on the Sybian. She didn't know what it was but when she found out she said ''no thanks.''
Howard asked if she went out on a date the first night she got out of there. She said it wasn't the next night but a few nights later. She said the sex was great too.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if this is JD's long lost sister. She has a similar laugh and she says ''I don't know'' a lot. Howard said the poor girl is shell shocked.
Another caller asked if she went down on any of the other Playmates. Crystal said no. Howard said it sounds like the life of a nun. Crystal said she knows Hef had a cupboard full of vibrators but she has no idea where they were before so she didn't use any of them. She said that's just gross. Crystal said she found them accidentally and the cabinet was full of them.
Howard asked if Hef ever did anything kinky with her. She said he didn't. He didn't even spank her or anything like that.
Another caller said he was reading about Hef going around saying that he dodged a bullet by not marrying her. He asked what she thinks about that. Crystal said that Hef cleared that up on Twitter a few hours ago. She said that he said he didn't think that she loved him but he did love her. Howard said she didn't like the lifestyle so he gets why she got out.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if Hef's balls are dusty and does his cock taste like moth balls. Crystal said she doesn't know. She said that's gross. Howard asked if she blew Hef at all. She said she didn't want to so she didn't do it. She said she's really into it but not with him. Howard said that's horrible. She said she didn't get asked to do it either.
Howard asked if Crystal had an orgasm when Hef fucked her. She quickly said no. She said that only lasted like 2 seconds. She said that she was over it pretty quickly. She said she just walked away. Howard laughed when she said that. Howard asked what position she was in. He asked if she was bent over his wheelchair. Crystal said he's not in a wheelchair. She said she just got up and went to the bathroom. She said Hef was okay with that. She said it was never brought up again. Howard said that's nuts. He said that's a really weird world to be involved with. Crystal said it was strange and it was like an out of body experience for her.
Howard said this would be embarrassing to him if he was Hef. Crystal said that she was afraid to say no to the wedding. She said she was kind of scared to leave too. Howard asked why that was. Crystal said that she got so used to being there and she didn't know when to leave or what she would be doing next. Howard said she got caught up and got in too deep. She said that might be what it was.
Howard said Crystal gave back the ring, didn't she? Crystal said that Hef let her keep the ring. She said that it was appraised for $90,000. She said that they sold her out and told TMZ about the ring too. Crystal said she could have stuck it out for a few years and come out with a few million.
Howard gave Crystal some plugs for the DVD and told Crystal she just needs to find her own way out there in L.A. Howard said that he'd take her to movie night. He said he'd actually feel bad for her and leave her alone.
Howard asked Crystal if Hef has his name printed on the movie when he watches it or is it a clean copy. She said he has his own theater and they're clean copies. Howard said he gets copies and they put his name across the screen.
Howard asked Crystal if she's ever kissed a woman. She said maybe when she was in college and drunk. She said she has felt boobs but not done anything else with women. Howard told her to go feel Robin's. Robin said ''no thank you.''
Howard said this is like if Betty White asked him to come and live at her mansion. He said that he'd have to fuck her and hang out watching old movies. Fred played some old lady porn audio as Howard talked about doing that.
Howard asked Crystal if she got wet for Hef. She said that was 3 years ago so she doesn't remember. Howard asked if he licked her. She said she didn't. Howard asked if he was really inside of her. She said ''Eww'' to that. Howard asked if she got lubed up. Crystal said she really doesn't remember.
Howard wrapped up with Crystal and gave her some more plugs for the DVD. He asked her what her dating age is. She said that she's sticking to 25. 35 is even too old now. Howard said he gets that. Howard said she should date an 18 year old. Howard said she should be allowed to go out with a 14 year old to make up for this.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he would give her $500 a week to live with him. Howard told her to think about it and not say no. He wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he had Andrew Dice Clay coming in. He said he had Johnny Fratto and Eric the Midget on the phone to negotiate coming back to the show. Howard said he can't do it for long since he has Dice coming in. Eric was on the phone. Howard said he knew he'd come back to the show. Howard said he hates to tell him that he told him so but he did. Howard said Eric said there was no way he'd return to the show. Eric said he's not. Robin said he's here now. Eric said Johnny called in and he's on the phone with Johnny. He said he didn't dial the damn number himself. Howard said he's negotiating to come back on the show though.
Eric said he hasn't missed them a damn bit. He said he hasn't missed Robin's cackling voice getting everything wrong. He said that she got a story wrong about Sofia Vergara doing a voice in the Smurfs movie.
Howard asked why he's so into the Smurfs. Eric said he collected them as a kid. He said a lot of people his age did that. Eric said he has watched the previews for the movies and he has seen what's going to be in the movie.
Robin asked if Eric's favorite Smurf is 'Grumpy.'' Eric said no. Howard asked if he can relate to them because they're small like he is. Eric said that he likes some of them like Brainy. Johnny said he must like Smurfette too. Eric said ''Well, yeah...'' Howard asked if he ever beat off to Smurfette. Eric said he didn't but he likes the person who is doing her voice. That's Katy Perry. Howard asked what he would do to her if he was with her. Eric said he might want to motorboat her.
Howard asked why they're calling in today. Johnny said that Eric wanted to go to a premiere for the Smurfs movie. He said there isn't one in L.a. so Eric is looking to do an interview with someone from the movie. Howard asked why he would do that for him. Johnny said he obviously misses Howard. He said he wouldn't be on the phone if he didn't. Johnny said it's like the bizarro world and Eric says things the opposite of what he means. Eric said he might miss Howard but not the abuse he takes from the fans. He said he doesn't miss the long hours on hold.
Howard said there is a lot of activity around him. He said that he must enjoy that. Howard said Eric got to do some fun things thanks to the show. He got on ''Fringe'' and got to go to the Bunny Ranch. Howard said he'll have Gary set up the negotiation for some other time. Eric said that he heard that Neil Patrick Harris had Tweeted a question about why he wasn't there at the New York premiere. Howard said he'll talk about it later. He said he does know Neil so maybe they can set something up. Johnny said maybe he'll motorboat Neil. Eric said no way to that.
Howard took some calls from Speech Impediment Man who said he doesn't want Eric back. Captain Janks welcomed Eric back to the show. Eric told him not to count his chickens so soon. Debbie the Pet Lady called in and complained about Howard leaving her on hold for so long. She said she didn't want to get into it right now but she was pissed off at everyone right now.
Howard said he'll set up a time to go through the negotiations at a later time. Howard said that should be fun. Howard said he thinks that Eric is back on the show since he was on the phone today. Howard thanked Eric for calling in. Eric said he would talk to him later.
Howard showed dice his hair and swore on the life of his kids that he doesn't color it. Dice didn't believe it. Dice said some words to Fred and Benjy before Howard moved on.
Howard said he got sad for Dice recently. He read some stuff about him that upset him. Howard said he's glad he got the role on Entourage. He said he doesn't watch the show but he knows it's a nice gig. Howard said he loved that film he was in with that chick, the blonde, and he was the tough guy. Gary said it was Casual Sex. Howard said that was a good movie.
Howard said Victoria Jackson was in that movie and she's gone off the religious deep end. Dice said that happens when the career starts to fail. They go off the deep end. Dice said that's what happened to Margot Kidder.
Howard said he cares about Dice and he always did. He said he used to make a lot of money in this business. He was a multi-millionaire. He said that Dice used to do crazy things like bet a million bucks in a night. He said that he was reading he's almost broke now. Dice said he's fine with that. Howard said he might be but he's not. Howard said Dice had a nice cushion and he could have been fine. Dice said that he's not broke. He said he's trying to make his nut every month and he needs to make about $125,000 a month. He said he has to pay about 60 a month so he has to make about twice that. Dice said he had a lot of money at one point. Dice said when his career took off he had crazy family that he had to buy houses for and things like that.
Dice told Howard that he bought a house in Brooklyn once and he loved it but people would ring his bell at like 3 in the morning yelling for him and Howard to come out. He said that it was millions of dollars to buy those places. Dice said that he went through the divorce and had to split half and pay child support. He said then the recession hit. Dice said his career wasn't where he needed it to be. He said he didn't gamble for 10 years but then a few years ago he had a few grand in his pocket and had to gamble. He said it was like desperate times called for desperate measures. Dice said he was getting a lot of pressure. He had a house in Hollywood that he made a big profit on. Dice said that the ex wife put a lien on the profits so he wasn't able to touch them. He said he had to gamble to make some money quick. He said he played Blackjack and he made hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Howard asked how much money he had. Dice said he had 8 grand and he turned that into hundreds of thousands. He started buying cars and paying bills. He said they were enjoying the money. Dice said he knows that gambling didn't ruin him. He said with gambling if you go on too long you get caught in the trap. He said by the end of the summer they won most of it back. He said he had an incredible summer. Dice said he had the most fun he's ever had in his whole life. Dice said they were able to stay in really nice hotels all over the place. He said he had everything he wanted. He bought a Dodge Challenger and some other vehicles and had a great time.
Howard asked how much money he does have. Dice said he doesn't know exactly. He said that he doesn't have millions but that doesn't bother him. He said he knows that he can go out and make a lot of money now.
Howard asked how he got on Entourage. Dice said he was trying to get to that. He said he came back from that summer of fun with the family. He said that he has his wife there and his fiancee. Howard wanted to know the story behind all of that. Howard asked how the wife feels about all of this. Dice said he'll get to that later.
Dice said he came back from that summer thing and he said to the wife, Valerie, that he wanted to go out for coffee with his son Max. He's doing stand-up now. He said that his kid just got a rep and he's like an edgy Seinfeld. He said that his son destroys him on stage and it's hysterical. He said he goes under the name Max Weinstein. Howard asked if he thinks he has it in his genetics. Dice said Max is great at playing drums and it all started there. He said the kid is just 21 and the last thing he's thinking about is getting married.
Dice said his kid is a nice guy and he tries to be nice to women. He said that his other son is 17 and he's got a ripped body. He said he plays water polo and spends 5 hours a day in the pool. Howard asked if he's getting laid. Dice asked if they have to talk about that. He wondered why they have to talk about pussy.
Howard asked Dice to get back to Entourage. Dice said he came back from the summer of craziness. He went to Starbucks with his son and all of a sudden this guy came up to him. His name was Bruce Rubenstein. He said he hadn't seen the guy in years. He said they exchanged numbers and met him at Starbucks the next day. He said everyone plays with their damn phone all the time and that's what this guy was doing. He said that they're like astronauts with the bluetooth headsets and all of that. Dice talked about how things worked in the old days. He said this is why he doesn't hang with people.
Dice said Bruce was playing with his Blackberry and he told him that the last time he saw him he was ''it'' and then he disappeared. Dice said Bruce asked why he never did a walk on with the Entourage show. He said Doug Ellin wanted to meet with him and it turns out he was emailing with him right there on his phone. Dice said he met with Doug the next day and he thought maybe he'd get a walk on. Then he got calls for more meetings. He said that he thought it was going to be more than a walk on. Dice said it turns out it's a whole character arc and Bruce is now his manager.
Dice said he was playing a room in Vegas with about 120 seats and he was doing 6 nights a week. He said that was great to do that and work on new material. He's going to be at the Tropicana soon and then he's doing a stadium in Brooklyn. He said this is the way his career works and he ends up doing all or nothing.
Howard said Dice is going to be on Entourage this season and he's doing a bunch of shows. Dice said that you can see DiceInBrooklyn.com for more information. You use the password ''Dice'' and you can get tickets while he's on Howard's show this morning.
Dice said things are working out for him right now. He said that Doug Ellin is talking to him about maybe doing the Entourage movie if that happens. He said he's also talking about doing another show.
Howard asked Dice about this Eleanor woman he travels with. Dice said she's a great stand-up comic. He said that she is the opening act for him and he wouldn't let her be if she didn't have the chops to do it.
Howard had the guys bring in the women that were with Dice today. He said he heard that his wife was there too. Howard said that the guys were carrying on about what she was wearing. Howard said it was skin tight and it did look good.
Dice was directing Eleanor not to speak while Howard is talking to the married one. Howard checked out Dice's wife and said that she's very attractive. Howard said she has the belly button piercing and all of that. Howard asked the wife how the sex life is. She said it's great. Howard said she looks great. Howard wanted her to pull her pants down to show off her body but Dice told her not to. Howard said she has a tattoo on there that he wanted to see. Dice did the pulling down himself to show Howard. Howard told him to pull down her pants for him. Howard wanted to see her panties too. Dice did that for him but didn't pull them down that far. Robin said that he let someone put that tattoo that low. Dice said that she came like that so he had no control over that.
Howard asked about the wife being a stripper so Dice asked why he would marry a stripper. Howard asked if she's insulted when Dice takes Viagra. She said that she would never be insulted by that. Howard said he would think she would be. She said he never uses it anyway.
Howard asked how often she gives him sex. She said it's every day. Howard asked when they last banged. Dice asked why he had to say bang. Howard asked when they last made love. Dice said that Eleanor came over so they had a pajama party. Howard asked if it was sexual. Eleanor said it was just fun. Howard asked if Dice gives it to his wife every night. She said that they do it a lot. Dice said he married her in a year's time. He said they just clicked.
Howard asked Dice if he does anal. Dice said they don't do that. Howard asked if Dice gives her what she needs. Dice said he must know he gives her everything. Dice said that this is his wife. He said he shouldn't be asking her these questions. Howard asked if Eleanor has licked Dice's asshole. She said she's licked a lot of assholes. Howard asked if she does Dice though. Everyone was talking over everyone else during this discussion.
Howard asked Eleanor if she ever did lick Dice's balls or asshole. She wasn't answering and Dice got really defensive. Howard said he was just trying to make a point. Howard said he wants her to be honest but she won't. Howard asked if she has ever done anything with Dice. Eleanor said she doesn't remember.
Howard asked Eleanor why it was so bad to live with Dice. Dice said it wasn't so bad. He said she wouldn't be there if he was that bad.
Howard wanted to understand what's going on there. He said Eleanor is Dice's opening act. Dice said she's excellent. Eleanor said that things are going great. Howard said they used to be ex-lovers so it could have been kind of weird. Eleanor said the break up was mutual.
Dice said that it's never mutual. Dice said that they were filming stuff in the car on the way back from Philly once. Eleanor said that he'd better stop talking or she'll start telling stuff about him. Dice said that he was walking around with Max in a sporting goods store and she was on the phone. Dice said she put on that stupid smile and said it was just her friend. Eleanor said that the person just called her. They were all over the place with the story.
Howard asked if Dice's kids look at the wife and go nuts. Valerie said they look at her like an older sister. Howard asked if Dice ever spanks her. She said he does it in front of people. Howard asked if Valerie is turned on when Dice spanks her. She asked who doesn't like being spanked. Howard wanted them to reenact it for him. Dice said he's not going to do that. He said he loves this woman and he's not going to do that for Howard.
Eleanor said that Dice and Valerie are soul mates. Howard asked if she ever got spanked. She said she did. Howard asked if she got wet from the spanking. She said of course she did. Howard said he wants him to spank him so he can see if he gets wet too.
Howard was shocked that dice didn't bang both of these chicks last night. Dice said he's not into that. He said he was too tired anyway.
Howard gave Dice some plugs for the Entourage thing and for his upcoming comedy shows. Howard said he can't believe that he's never eaten his wife's ass. Dice said that anyone can do that. He said it's a novelty.
dice asked Howard what his thing is. Howard said he likes to put his penis in. He said he has 3 or 4 positions he likes. He said he likes to kiss his wife too. He said he's been with her for 11 years now. Dice asked if they ever start anywhere other than in bed. Howard said they do and they sometimes start in the bathroom or someplace like that. Dice said they took a bus the other night and they did it at the bus station. Howard asked if he entered her in the bus. Dice said no but Valerie said that they did mess around on the bus. They were just making out on the bus. dice said they did it at the station. Howard wrapped up with everyone and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that he didn't know how old Joy Behar was. Robin fills in for her sometimes so she should know. Howard said he thought she was in her 50s. Gary said he saw a thing that says she was born in 1942 so she's going to be 69 years old.
Howard said that some gay people were contacting them wanting to get married on the show. Howard said it's still kind of a farce there in New York. He said that they say in the Daily News that the benefits from being married aren't really there if there is no recognition on the federal level. Howard said that they still have to file a federal tax returns as individuals. He spent a minute on that and then had Jon Hein come in.
Jon Hein came in to run down his Wrap Up Show preview. Howard said that he's been getting these things in the mail where they send you a nickel and tell you that a nickel will help fight arthritis or something. He said he's not sure if it's a real nickel or not. Jon said he'd imagine it is real. Howard said he'll mail back the nickel if they want it back. He said they don't make sense when they do that. He said if 5 cents will help then why mail someone 5 cents?
Howard said Sal sent him a picture of a guy who got a Howard fist logo on the back of his neck. Gary said that's actually a woman. Howard said he couldn't tell.
Jon ran down his Wrap Up Show preview after that. They spent a few minutes talking about Crystal Harris during that rundown. Howard said he heard that the publicist wasn't happy with what she said today. Jon went over a few other things they'd be getting to today.
Robin started her news with a story about Arnold Schwarzenegger back tracking on the divorce. Robin said he was being stingy when it came to that and he didn't want to pony up with much. Robin said now he's saying that it was caused by some legal papers that were drawn up when he wasn't prepared. Now he's saying he's going to be very generous since they didn't have a pre-nup. Howard said he'd like to know what he's worth. Robin said they say it's about $400 million. Howard said that's a lot. Robin said she always thought it was more than that.
Howard played a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard had Fake Arnold (Josh Robert Thompson) talking to an author about sexual stuff and making sounds like he was pleasuring himself while she talked.
Robin read about Amy Winehouse's funeral that's coming up. Robin had some more details about her death and how they haven't revealed a cause of death yet. That led to Howard reading some email from some fans who agreed with Gary about how she just threw her life away. Howard said he felt bad for her because she was so confused.
Howard said that some people wrote in about Farfel the dog and Paul Winchel. Howard said that wasn't one of his puppets.
Robin read more about Amy Winehouse and said that Microsoft is apologizing to a Twitter tribute to her. They threw in a plug to buy her music from the Microsoft store when they played the tribute. Robin said they thought better of it and apologized for trying to capitalize on her death. Howard went to break after that.
After the break, around 9:40am, Robin read a story about Comic-Con and how an actor was arrested out there when he roughed up a security person when one of his entourage didn't have credentials to get where they were going. Robin said the security people did a citizen's arrest on the guy and he was arrested.
Robin read a story about stars at Comic-Con going to experience it and not just promote things. Robin said they dress in costume so they're disguised. They say Justin Timberlake went dressed up as a Sesame Street character. Howard said he went dressed up as Howard Stern and had no problem. Robin said that Sarah Michele Gellar is the one who said that stars should dress in costume. Howard said no one would bother her there if she wasn't in costume.
Howard said he read that Adrianne Curry got kicked out for wearing a provocative costume. Benjy said she said she was showing too much ass. Howard said that's what guys want to see though. Robin said maybe there are kids there. Howard said he's glad she's showing off her body.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jesse James and Kat Von D broke up. He wondered what he thought about that. Howard said Jesse was in there talking about how she was the true love of his life. Howard said he doesn't know anything about it so he doesn't know what to say about it. Howard said he'll come up with some opinion when he knows more about it.
Howard read about how Oprah Winfrey's network and magazine are apparently not doing very well. Howard said she thought she could leave TV and not do any work. He said that no one is going to watch if she's not on TV. Howard said that's like what she did by taking $50 million from Sirius. She doesn't do anything for them.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the shocking thing about Amy Winehouse is that she was a godmother. Howard said that was funny and he'd like to know who made her a godmother. The caller said that Howard should talk to those people. Howard said it must have been Casey Anthony.
Robin read a story about a guy in South Africa who woke up in a morgue after the family thought he had died. Howard said he wants to be buried above ground. He said he doesn't want to end up like that. Robin read some details of that story and they later found the guy to be stable and released him from the hospital. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about how the post office is going to be closing down some offices and they're thinking about stopping Saturday delivery. Howard said he doesn't like that. He said you still need some things mailed. Robin said they're saying that they may drop it down to 3 days a week eventually. Howard said this is a step backward for mankind. He said our postal service is pretty remarkable and it blows away the rest of the world's postal services.
Robin read a story about how the Jackson family is working on a tribute concert for Michael Jackson. Robin read some details and had some audio of some family members talking about that.
Robin read a story about Mariah Carey selling some stuff on HSN lately. Howard said he saw a video montage of her selling stuff on there. Howard said he thought she had enough money that she didn't have to do that kind of thing. Robin had some audio of Mariah talking about the difficult time she had with her pregnancy.
Robin read some news about President Obama trying to get the debt ceiling raised and what could happen if they don't raise it. Robin had some audio clips to play too. Howard read another live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about the wealth gap between white families and black and Hispanics being wider than it has been in a long time.
Robin read about how the NFL is back on track after a month long block out. Howard said the fire alarm is going off so maybe they should get out of there. Gary said it just got turned off. Howard said he thought they had new strobe lighting in there. Howard played some audio of some people talking about the football thing being back on track.
Robin read about a young girl who tired to drown some puppies in a wading pool. The cops say that she may have taken her grandfather's words too literally. Robin had some audio of a cop talking about what the kid did. Robin said the puppies were rescued and they will be up for adoption in a month. Howard said that's like the beginning of every horror movie he's ever seen.
Robin read a story about how Californians will have to vote on whether or not they'll be teaching gay history in schools. Howard said they always have something big to vote on out there. Robin had more details about that story. Howard said it would be great if they taught history in a gay voice. He went into his gay voice and gave an example of what that might sound like. Fred threw in a bunch of George Takei audio clips too. He had George doing his Little Lupe impression and saying a bunch of wild things.
Robin read a story about a kid who was attacked by a bear. Robin had some audio of the kid talking about that. This attack took place in Alaska. Robin said the bear bit him in the chest and dragged him to the ground. Robin said he was one of 7 teens attacked and they all survived.
Robin read a story about a new movie called Crazy Stupid Love and had some audio of Julienne Moore talking about working on that movie with Marissa Tomei and Kevin Bacon. Howard cut that off pretty quick.
Robin read about the new Cowboys & Aliens movie that's coming out soon. Howard said he has to send Jon Favreau a note thanking him for giving him the hat that Harrison Ford wore in the movie. Howard said he loves the idea of this movie too. Robin had some audio of Harrison Ford talking about the movie but Howard cut it off after about 2 seconds. Howard said Beth wanted to try on the hat but it was too small for her head. Howard said he may have the same size head as Beetlejuice does.
Robin read about how Katy Perry is voicing Smurfette in the new Smurfs movie. She had some audio of her talking about how she prepared for that role.
Robin had some audio of Steven Spielberg talking about a new movie he has coming up later this year called ''Tin Tin.'' Howard said he doesn't dig that at all.
Robin read about how there was a conference between Jon Favreau and Guillermo Del Toro at Comic-Con. Robin had Howard play some of that but he cut it off quickly. They ended the show around 10:10am.
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Jon asked Gary if he's excited that Eric the Midget is back. Gary said of course he is. Jon said Eric claims he's not back yet. Gary said he was on the show this morning! He said that he got under his skin again today when he said he doesn't like being left on hold. He said that he's trying not to give him too hard of a time but he does think that Eric believes he's the most important thing in the world. He said they have guests and things they want to get to on the show.
Jon said they have to talk about Dice and Crystal Harris too. Jon talked about how brutal that whole discussion was with her. Gary said the last person that said that stuff about Hef got banned from the mansion. Gary said Jillian Grace got banned by doing that. Gary said that she told them everything that was going on up there and the publicists would tell them to get her out of there. Gary said if he was dating a 20 year old he might try to get her turned on to an old movie or something but an old movie that you have to play piano during is odd. Gary said he's surprised that Hef can't find more girls who are willing to be part of that act.
Gary said that Crystal mentioned Chuck McCann today and he thinks that reference wasn't recognized by many people at all. Even Benjy didn't know who it was. Gary said he was an old comedian.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he doesn't believe Crystal at all. He said he's not sure why Hef would marry her if they weren't having sex. Gary said he knows guys who would do that. Benjy said that she seemed to be disgusted by the whole thing and maybe she wanted to make like it never happened. Gary said she might be pleading insanity or something like that. Benjy said that she did offer to give the ring back and she's obviously not a gold digger.
Jon asked about the odd curfew times and things like that over at the mansion. Gary said he thinks that they can leave whenever they want but then you wonder why Hef would want them to see the real world because they may not come back. They had to go to break after that.
Jon asked Gary if he's really thinking about dying his hair. Gary said he isn't but Dice's hair looked really good. He said he used to be really grey.
Jon asked about Dice talking about his monthly nut being like $125,000 a month. He has a $60,000 nut but he needs to make about $125,000. They spent a minute trying to figure out what that all pays for. Gary said it all depends on the kind of lifestyle you want to lead.
Jon said that Dice talked about how things kind of went away for a while and he had purchased a bunch of houses and things. Now he's on Entourage and he's thinking that might bring him back. Gary said that this is the final season for the show and maybe it will work out for him. He said he thinks that he's funny and he always has.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she saw Dice on a preview of Entourage and he looks like a big refrigerator. Gary said he looked thinner today than he has in a long time. He's not a small guy though. The caller told Jon she loves Geektime.
Benjy asked the woman if she's in a sexual relationship right now. She said she is with her vibrator. Benjy also asked if the volume of ejaculate makes a difference to her. She said no. Gary said the show has been hijacked.
Jon asked the caller what she thought of Crystal and her relationship with Hef. She said it sounded freaky to her. She said she thinks they have a reality show coming out soon.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why they keep running promos for Jackie's show when they talk about how awful Jackie is. Gary said Howard didn't say they were going to cancel the show. The caller said he used to work in radio and he thinks the promo alone is awful. He said they should cancel the show because it really sucks ass. The guy told Gary and Jon that he hopes that they stick around after the next 4 years. He said he thinks they've been on a tear lately.
Jon said that Steve was also in the studio when Howard talked about Steve Langford. Steve said he's glad that he's gone. He said he was a lunatic.
Jon said that one of the things in Entourage this season was that Vince got out of rehab and he didn't call everyone when he got out. That's kind of like what happened with Steve Langford calling some people and not others. Gary said that Steve can be a little nutty but he got along with him. Steve said some of them are loyal and some go work somewhere else. Gary asked if someone goes to work somewhere else, are they not loyal? Steve said yes. He said he's not going anywhere else. He said it's more important to be there than anywhere else. He said you stay with the best.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it's going to be difficult to find someone with the zest and professionalism that Steve Langford had. He said that he took it so seriously and it gave his stories a legit sense of reason in the Howard world. Gary said he was a legitimate investigative reporter and he took it very seriously. Jon said you need someone like that. He said Shuli goofs around a little more but they need a guy like Steve to take it seriously. They are looking for a replacement. Gary said a couple of names came up and they're interesting.
Another caller said he thinks that Steve wanted to cover real news and not this stuff. Gary said he doesn't think that's the case. He said he thinks that Steve loved what he did while he was there. He said that Steve did take his job very seriously though and he was kind of bummed that they kept him from doing some of his stories. They went to break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a woman who told Gary he's her favorite. She said that she would like to know about why Howard and Robin never got together when Howard got divorced. Gary said that Robin and Howard developed their relationship for years. Benjy said he thought that Howard and Robin had done some stuff and it just didn't lead anywhere. Gary asked if he's joking because Howard has said it in a joking way but never seriously. Gary said that Howard and Robin are like brother and sister and it's just a great friendship. Gary said if they had done it then it would have been really weird for them around there. He said he thinks Howard knows better than to date someone he's working with.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he thought that Steve Langford thought he was untouchable there and it wasn't right. Brandano said that Steve did get mad once and he refused to go in the studio. Gary was saying that Steve would go in and answer questions when they had them for him. The caller said that was a good point about Steve not going into the studio that one time.
Jon asked Shuli if he thinks that Steve was untouchable. Shuli said that Steve didn't show it that much. He said that he learned a lot from Steve about reporting but he was a weird guy. He said he had his book of morals and the way you should do things. He said that if you fucked up something then he just wouldn't talk to you for a while. He said Steve would get pissed at him once in a while. Shuli said it all centers around the news. That was Steve's pride and passion there. Shuli said that he would get upset if you didn't take it seriously.
Jon said that everyone is weird there. Shuli said that's true and that's what's so great about the way Steve treated his job.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that Steve would wave his arms around like a maniac and that was what she's going to miss. The caller also said that she likes that they take phone calls from women because Howard seems to avoid them. Gary said they take calls from women like Wendy the Retard, Debbie the Pet Lady and Mariann from Brooklyn.
Jon asked Shuli if he knew that Steve was upset that he was kept waiting in the green room. Shuli said he didn't know that. He said he would get upset about the news stories he was kept from reporting on though.
The guys talked about how it seems like Johnny is doing a bit but Eric isn't. Jon asked if Gary is prepared to negotiate. Gary said he is and he'd like to have Eric back. He said he's not willing to give away the house to get him back though. Gary said he wishes that Eric would just be nice. He said that's the only problem he has with him. Shuli asked if he really wants a nice Eric to call in. Gary said no. That's what they like best about Eric.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he doesn't like Eric and he doesn't want him back. Jon said hearing him back on the air today was kind of cool. Benjy agreed. Jon said it's like he's back home.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the whole Langford thing turned when he got in trouble for getting the interview with George Takei for his daughter. Gary said he didn't think that was it. The caller also said that he hates Eric the Midget too. Gary said he's voting for Eric. So did Jon and Benjy. Gary said that was 3-2. Shuli said he would love to have him back just so he can say he's never coming back again and they can go through that whole thing again. Benjy even said it was nice to hear Eric back on the air during his plug. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show taking a call from Bobo who was in the hospital with chest pains. Howard said it didn't sound like him when he picked up. Bobo said he had to pull over with the chest pains. They're doing tests on him now. Robin asked if he's been at the hospital all this time. Bobo said he's been there for two days now. They have him hooked up to a bunch of wires and stuff.
Howard asked if he wanted him to show up to the hospital like he did when he was having his child. Bobo showed up to see how things were going that day. Howard said you have to have big balls to do that. Howard said he wishes him the best and hopes he's okay.
Bobo said he got stuck in the emergency room and heard a woman being told how to wipe so they don't get infections. He said he wanted out when he heard that. Howard asked if he's in the room with other heart attack people. Bobo said he was and he was whispering to Howard on the phone.
Howard asked if he took his toupee off. Bobo said he didn't and it's starting to get matted down. Howard said he hopes he's alright.
Howard had some audio of a guy calling a sports radio show while having a heart attack. Howard said he's not even sure where they found that. Howard played the clip and this guy was in the hospital calling into the show after having a heart attack. The guy said they told him he has to hang up now but he didn't want to. He said he loves the show too much not to call in. Howard said that was the Paul Feinbaum show. Howard said the guy had to explain it like 5 times that he was calling into his show so it must be great.
Howard took a call from a guy who said no one cares about Bobo. He said if he hadn't had a heart attack Howard would have hung up on him already. Bobo said he has to get shot up with dye today. Then he has to run on the treadmill. Howard read that Bobo wants to be left on hold so he can listen to the show. Howard did that for him. Bobo had no way to get to his radio without that.
Howard said he had another one from The Early Today Show. In that one the reporter was asking if Crystal had to go on Howard Stern to talk about this stuff. Howard asked if she has to go on the air too. The reporters said it was too early to think about that stuff.
Howard read about Hugh's comments about Crystal and how he had Tweeted out about that. Howard said Hefner was wondering why she lied and said maybe it's because she has a new boyfriend. Howard read through that article and had a few quotes from Hef. Howard said he has the feeling she was telling the truth. Robin said she did seem pretty honest to her too.
Benjy brought up something about Heidi Montag and Hugh Hefner but Howard got aggravated with Benjy for even bringing it up. There was nothing to what Benjy was asking about.
The caller said that Howard has been reading the commercials like a game show host lately. He asked if he's mocking them. Howard said he's not doing that on purpose. The caller asked if he's mocking the sponsor, management or what. Howard said he doesn't know what he's doing. Sometimes he does it to goof on a Top 40 DJ or something. He's just doing that to spice it up a little bit. He said he's just trying to get through the day.
Howard said Jackie the Joke Man canceled Pat Cooper last night. He said he doesn't appreciate what Pat says about him and he didn't really want him on his channel. Howard said it's pretty well known that he doesn't have him on anymore. Howard said Jackie canceled him so now that's going to be his headache. Howard said they talked about it and Jackie responded.
Howard played some audio of Jackie talking about Pat not coming on the show and how there is a rift between Pat and the powers that be at the channel. Jackie said he didn't realize there was such a war going on. Jackie said he had a conflict going on anyway so he wouldn't be on the show.
Howard said Jackie is acting like the victim there. He said they never really gel. Howard said Jackie never catches the vibe there and he doesn't get it... ever. Howard said Jackie worked with them for 15 years and he never got the vibe.
Howard said that's some good friend Pat Cooper. He said that the two of them could talk about how they self destruct in their careers. On the show Jackie said once Howard and Pat work it out he'll be back on the show. Howard said that may not happen.
Howard played more of the audio and Jackie said he wasn't faking being stupid. He really didn't know this was going on. Jackie said he was trying to keep the peace and keep his job that he loves there. Jackie said he loves doing the Joke Hunt. He said he crawled through the muck and broken glass to get the job so of course he's going to take the money over and old friend.
Howard said ''evil Howard Stern'' has stepped in and ruined it again. Robin said she wouldn't think two seconds about this. She said that Jackie is making it sound like Howard is the one who put down the muck and glass to make it harder to get that job. Howard said he just told Jackie to talk to Tim about doing a show there. That's all of the muck and broken glass he had to crawl through. Howard said he was really nice about it. He has no animosity toward him and he didn't have to suck a lot of cock to get the job. Howard said the thinking there is mind boggling. Robin said that's the Jackie that Howard would have sitting there in the studio.
Howard played more of Jackie talking and he was saying that he'd love to fuck Robin Quivers and especially when she's mad at him. He said it seems to be most of the time. Robin said that's true. She said that she's mad at him all the time. Jackie talked about how he could feel Robin's pussy clamping down on him as she's calling him a fucking asshole. Jackie said he loves all of them on the show and they know it. The clip cut off in the middle of a sentence.
Howard said Jackie does his show on Tuesday nights there. He said he doesn't listen to the show just like Jackie doesn't listen to his.
Howard said Mariann from Brooklyn yelled at Jackie on the show. He played the clip and she went off on him for not realizing where he works. Mariann said that Pat defamed the wall there by writing something rude about Howard and he wrecked it. She said that Jackie should know it because he's on Howard 101. She said that it took him all this time to finally wake up. She said that even the Friar's club doesn't want to give him a roast because he's a miserable old man. She told Jackie to call Howard and give him some respect. Jackie just let Mariann go off on him.
Howard said she had a moment of incredible coherency there. Robin said you have to check yourself if Mariann is making that much sense.
Howard said Benjy went to a rally on Sunday and people were screaming and yelling about anti-gay stuff. He played some of that screaming and said it was a Hispanic/black rally. Howard said you'd think that they'd understand what's going on there since they've been held back so much themselves.
Howard said he was obsessing about going back and saving Martin Luther King's life to show him that they have a black president. Howard said he'd love to see him pass out and have a heart attack when he sees that.
Howard played more of that rally clip and the people yelling were really upset about the whole gay marriage thing. He said he can understand if they were that upset about the war in Iraq. He said he doesn't get it when it comes to gay marriage.
Howard said Benjy sent him a clip of some interviews he did but it was like 27 minutes long. He said he can't play it if it's that long. Robin said Benjy has a problem editing his own stuff down. Howard said he has to give him the secret to success. Benjy said he thought it was to just cut it down to the best. Howard said everything in life is editing. He told him to think about that. He said he's taking photography right now and he can't decide which ones to delete and which ones to keep. Howard said he has to edit everything in his life but with Benjy everything is War and Peace.
Howard said you have to pick and choose your moments. Howard said the moment is there. He said no one will see anything if you don't edit. He said you can take all day if you want to. Howard said Ralph can't edit and move on either. Robin said he will never be able to edit.
Howard said Benjy got a hold of a guy at the rally and he was asking him about him finding him attractive. Howard said he was getting ready for work and the clip just kept going on and on. He said he came back in the room after walking out and it was still going on. He said it was like a newscast. Robin said that you have to edit while you're doing the bit too.
Howard said the last bit Benjy did took two days of editing with Sal and Richard before it was done. Howard played that prank call that Benjy made and said that Benjy had to spend two days working on that. Benjy said he had another edited version that was even better. In the call Benjy was talking to a woman about a Nanny job and telling her about what had gone on with the child that she'd be watching. Howard said he didn't even need all of this set up. Benjy puts the child on the phone and it's just Benjy doing the voice of the little girl. Benjy keeps saying ''I ate my brother'' over and over. Howard said there was 4 minutes of this and it went on and on. Howard said the original was like 12 minutes.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked him to get Benjy off the air. He said everything he does sucks. He said that he has no talent and he should be on Jackie's show instead.
Howard said if he edits he'd do a lot better. He said you can't fall in love with your own stuff. He said Roseanne Barr was able to do that. that's why she had a successful career. He had her on the phone.
Roseanne said she'd like to start a non-profit thing with the nut farm. She said she would like to support a lot of causes before she dies. Howard said that Jimmy Dean got rich on his business. He said that's what she should do. Roseanne said that the nuts are very expensive and she's not sure why that is. She said she sells them for like 2 cents a ton and they sell them for like 14 bucks a pound in the stores. Roseanne said that the nuts are pure protein and they should give them to people who are starving.
Roseanne said that the nuts are all over the place in Hawaii and they're just laying on the ground rotting and being eaten by pigs. She said people are starving all over the world and they're just leaving these things laying around.
Howard asked Roseanne about her reality show and if it's just another fake one. She said that it is kind of fake but they are doing the nut farm thing. She said she has about 50 acres there. She said she bought it sight unseen so she's been cutting down a lot of trees and weeds. Roseanne said that she wanted to go there and fight to keep the food chain going there.
Roseanne said she paid about a million for the 50 acres with some buildings on the land. She said that she's cleared about 20 acres with her own hands. She said she loves working in the dirt and doing something like this. She said she likes having something more than a dumbass life.
Howard said Roseanne has been blogging lately and she said that Casey Anthony should be killed. Roseanne said she should get the death penalty but she didn't say that we should kill her. Howard said she was saying that there's too much CSI stuff going on with the cases these days and people who are guilty get off.
Howard asked Roseanne about her TV show and what's going on with that. Roseanne said she loves doing the show and they're letting her do a lot of stuff. She said she'll be smoking pot on the show soon.
Robin said that she's all for Roseanne doing what she's doing. She said that this Monsanto corporation is evil. She said that they own the patent on soybeans and they will sue farmers if they try to plant their own seeds. Roseanne said that they're planting fake soybeans and it's illegal to sell them in some countries but not here. Howard asked what this Monsanto is. Robin and Roseanne said that they're a huge company. Howard said he had no idea. He wondered where he's been that he didn't know this.
Howard asked Roseanne how she knows all of this. Roseanne said that she reads. She said she reads a bunch of things every day about all of that and Tea Party stuff and more. She said she reads everything she can. Howard said he'd get bored. Robin said she can't be bored reading all of that. Roseanne said that they use fish cells to create some tomatoes and people who think they're vegan aren't even vegan because they're eating fish cells. She said they're messing with the web of life so American's can be big, fat idiots. Howard said this sounds wild to him.
Howard asked what's more important. The Murdoch hacking scandal or the debt problem. Roseanne said that the Murdoch thing is very important and she likes that he's going to fall. Roseanne said that she thinks that she may have been hacked years ago. She said they went through her garbage trying to find stuff on her. She said that they hacked her answering machine. Roseanne said they started with Hollywood people and moved on to the general public.
Howard asked Roseanne if she has more money than Tom Arnold. She said she's not sure since he makes a lot of movies and stuff. Roseanne said that she still talks to her first husband since they have kids and grand kids. She and Tom don't have that so she doesn't stay in touch that much. Howard asked if she was bothered when he got movies with Arnold Schwarzenegger. She said it didn't but his behavior toward her is what bothers her. She said she just wants him to move on with his life and leave her out of it.
Howard asked Roseanne about the new guy in her life. Roseanne said he's great and they met about 8 years ago. She said that she waited like 6 months before she had sex with him. Roseanne said she talked to him on the phone for like 6 months and he's great. She said that he picked her up on the internet. Roseanne said she heard some of his songs and she bought some of them and that's how they hooked up.
Howard said Roseanne has had a lot of bad luck with men. She said she had bad luck but now she's doing good. Howard said she seems to be doing good with the Macadamia nut thing too. Roseanne said she does do that between her drinking and partying.
Howard asked Roseanne if she's done with the drug thing. She said she only needed that while she was with Tom. After that was over she was done. Howard asked what she thinks about Arnold. She said she knew he was like that so it's not a big surprise. She said that all Hollywood stars are like that. Howard asked if he ever came on to her. Roseanne said he did think she was cute. Howard said Sandra Bernhard told him that Arnold tried to pick her up when she was a young woman.
Howard gave Roseanne a plug for her TV show ''Roseanne's Nuts'' which is on the Lifetime channel. Howard said she's on Twitter @TheRealRoseanne. He said you can check out her blog at RoseanneWorld.com/blog.
Howard said he took Beth out to a romantic dinner last night. He spent a minute talking about that. Howard took a call from a guy who said that he loved Roseanne's show when it was on. He asked when they're going to have Little Lupe back on the show. Howard said they'll do that whenever she wants to come back. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said Gary was still clearing his throat. During the break Fred was playing clips of Gary clearing his throat so he kept them going through the song.
Howard said Denise Richards is a favorite guest of his. He said she just wrote a book called ''The Real Girl Next Door.''
Howard said she insisted on coming in to promote it. He said she looks better than ever. He said he can't get over how good she looks. He said he remembers what she was telling them the last time she was there and she was talking about this guy she was having sex with but didn't want to say who it was. Howard said it came out it was Nikki Sixx. Denise said it wasn't Nikki. She said she never made love to him. She said she did kiss him but that was about it. Denise said that the secret lover was not Nikki Sixx.
Howard said he thought that she said that this guy was a rock guy. Denise said she didn't even say that. She said it wasn't Nikki and it wasn't Richie Sambora.
Robin asked if she's still with the secret guy. Denise said she dates but she has two guys that she sees. She said that one of them is the guy she talked about last time. She said he's not relationship material. She said that she just wants to have fun wit that guy and she wants to find someone stable to be in a relationship with.
Howard said Denise seems to be one of the most together people he's met but she was with Charlie Sheen. He said that's just weird. Denise said when she met him he was sober and he was in a much different place. She said she didn't judge him for his past. Howard said she makes a good point. He said the thing is that it was the humble Charlie when his movies weren't doing well. He was grateful when he got the TV show and then he went berserk. Howard said you'd think he'd be grateful but he didn't appreciate it. Denise said that things happen.
Howard asked if she's talking to Charlie. She said they are good right now. Howard said she's very nice about the whole thing. Denise said the last time she was there was the day after the whole hotel thing. She said she ended up writing about Howard in her book. She said she felt so bad about the last interview because of what had happened the night before. Denise said all hell broke loose that day.
Denise said that night before she was on Howard's show was the craziest night of her life. She said that she had never seen anything like that. Denise said she went out to dinner with Charlie and some friends and they had a great day that day. She said that she heard that some of his friends would meet with them later. He had a private room and there were 4 guys and 4 women. She didn't know any of them. Denise said that she sat down and this woman Capri asked to take a picture with her. She said sure to her because she didn't know who she was at the time. She said she had no idea what was going on. Howard said that Charlie was going nuts spending money and spending like $25,000 on a bottle of champagne. She said they were like $6,000 a bottle. She laughed and said ''Just six...''
Howard said Denise left the table when she realized what was going on. Denise said she didn't want to make a big deal out of it. She said that it's not her place to judge people like that.
Howard asked if she said anything when she got up and left. She said she just said she had to get some sleep so she could do Howard Stern the next morning. She said they were partying pretty hard at the dinner table.
Howard asked Denise why Charlie invited her to that dinner. She said he told her that he didn't want her to feel left out. Denise said that what he does isn't appropriate for children but she can't change that.
Howard asked how she felt when these women were watching her kids. She said that they have dinner together so she's not worried about it. She said that he never asks for the kids on his own. Denise said when Charlie is having fun there is no room for the kids. She said when he's clean and sober he's around the kids. He knows when to stay away.
Robin asked how they explain that to the kids. Denise said she doesn't have to explain it because it's not that consistent.
Denise said that she had to explain to the kids what was going on with their dad's addiction once. She said that the kids love their father though. Howard asked if she thinks that he's going to go bankrupt. She said she doesn't think that will happen.
Howard asked if Denise got boat loads of money in the divorce. She said she didn't. Howard said she seems like an incredibly good woman. He asked if she just adopted another kid. She said she did. Howard said it's a white child too. Denise said that she's actually mixed and multi-racial. Howard said she had to wait two years for the kid. Denise said she was open to any race or gender. She said she went through the process and it took two years. Howard asked if it's harder when you're a single mother. Denise said some people don't care about that. Robin asked if she needed an agency. She said she did but she had a lawyer too so she could keep it more private.
Howard asked Denise thinks that Charlie held up the process of the adoption. She said she doesn't think so. She said it took her 2 years but some people take 4 years. She said that some take 6 months. Denise said she wanted a closed adoption so the parents won't come looking for the child in the future.
Howard asked Denise if she ever thinks about adoption and how maybe it's not that great of a situation and maybe the child would be messed up. Denise said she found out that it's a wonderful family with a good history. She said she's very grateful for this family.
Howard asked if she admits in her book that she had sex on the first date with Charlie. She had to correct Howard and tell him it was on the second date. Howard said she's very sexy and this was some outfit she was wearing today. Howard asked where she got it. Denise said she got it just for Howard. Howard said that's so hot. She wore the heels just for him too.
Howard said he can't imagine what it would be like to have sex with her. He said if he was single he thinks he'd be having sex with her. Denise said she might have had sex with him on the second date too. Howard said she would have enjoyed it too. Denise said she bets she would.
Howard said he would have to keep the kids out of the house and in another one. Denise asked Howard if he's going to have a child with his wife. Howard said they keep an open mind and do talk about what it might be like but right now they're not going to do that. Howard said he had dinner with Beth last night and there were no hookers at dinner. He said they talk about stuff like that when they go out together.
Howard asked Denise about how she offered to take Brooke Mueller's kids while she went to rehab. Denise said that they're half brothers to her kids so she thought it would be nice to offer. Howard asked if she was wearing panties with that outfit. Denise said she wasn't and she didn't even have a bra on. Howard said he bets she doesn't weigh more than 110. He said she has a nice tan too. She said it was half fake. Howard guessed she was a size 2 dress and he was right.
Howard asked if she's fully shaved. She said that she waxes at Pink Cheeks. Howard asked how that works. He asked if she fully disrobes. She said yes. Howard asked if she gets on all fours. She said she does that. Denise said that she gets naked from the waist down to do it. Fred threw in some Charlie Sheen clips of him saying ''Winning!'' and ''Yeah.''
Howard asked about the waxing and if the woman rubs wax on her vagina. She said they get in there and get everything. Howard asked how often she goes. She said it's every 3-4 weeks. Howard asked if she orgasms during the waxing. Denise said she doesn't and it's a little painful.
Howard asked if Denise ever did any lesbian stuff. Denise said she has experimented and they talked about that last time she was on. She said she loves men. Howard asked if Ashton Kutcher is going to be good on Two and a Half Men. She said that she thinks he will do well but it's a shame that Charlie isn't on the show since it was created for him.
Howard asked Denise what she's going to do if Charlie wants to be alone with the kids. She said that if he's clean and sober he's a great dad.
Howard gave Denise a plug for her book and Denise said she writes about Howard a couple of times in there. She said she seems to be obsessed. Howard asked why he is so wonderful. She said she likes that he's honest and doesn't give a shit and doesn't censor himself. Howard said Denise is still on ''Blue Mountain State'' as well.
Denise said that she has a supper club with some people like Lisa Rinna. Howard asked how Lisa is holding up. Denise said she's great. Howard asked how her lips are doing. Denise said she looks great.
Howard asked Denise about her choice of not wearing panties. Denise said that it's not windy out so she figured she'd be safe. Howard said that if they went to dinner he'd end up putting his hand up her skirt. Denise said she's done that before and she's had sex in a restaurant bathroom. She said that it's exciting to do that. Howard asked for details about that and found out that she was with some regular guy and not a celebrity at the time. She said she was wearing a skirt with no panties that night. She said that the guy had her up against the sink. Howard asked if she was afraid they'd get caught. She said it was a loud restaurant so they weren't afraid. Howard said that it must not have been a Wendy's. It had to be an upscale place.
Howard asked if the guy had to pull his pants off or just his fly. She said he pulled his pants down. She said that's the easiest way. She said they have to be fast since they're at a restaurant. Denise told another story about a guy fucking her in an airplane bathroom once too. She said that they were flying to Italy and it was a long flight. She said she's sure the flight attendants knew but they didn't care. She said that guy was famous but she can't tell him who it was. Howard said she has to tell him. Howard said any man would be honored. Denise said she'll ask him and see if it's okay to talk about it. Howard said he'd be proud if it was him. He asked if it was Don Rickles or Rodney Dangerfield. She said the guy was about Howard's height. Howard said no one is his height. Robin asked if it was Jeff Goldblum. She said he was 6'3'' and almost Howard's height. Howard said maybe it was David Letterman. Denise said she's never been on his show.
Howard asked Denise about this guy she bangs for fun. She said that it's not a serious thing. She said the guy is a handsome guy though. Howard said maybe it's Dean Cain or Arnold Schwarzenegger. She said it's not either of them. Howard said he's the only good guy out there and she doesn't realize it. Denise said she should have called Howard when he was single. Howard said she'd be free of all of that headache. He said she wouldn't have had to adopt. She said that adoption was a great thing.
Howard went over Denise's plane bathroom sex again. She was surprised that Robin had never tried that. Howard said he has the feeling that if Denise was his mom he'd be attracted to her. He said that he'd want to fuck his mother if that was her. Howard said that Charlie has kids with Brooke and they're going to get turned on by Denise too. He said they won't know what to do. Denise said that they don't even know what to call her so they just call her Aunt Denise.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Denise could prove that she had no panties on. Howard suggested that she go in the bathroom with Robin. Denise said no. She said she would show Howard but not Robin.
Howard asked Denise to promise him now that she won't date Jesse James. She said she promises she won't. Howard said she seems to be into bad boys. She said she's really not.
Howard took another call from a guy who didn't hear the Nikki Sixx discussion earlier so he asked if she's still dating him. She said she only went out with him twice.
Speech Impediment Man called in and said that he was jerking off to her. He asked if she ever pees on a man. Denise said no. Howard said that he just turned her off so much she just put her underwear on.
Howard said he doesn't recall the story about her being with a woman. Howard asked if she was a kid. She said she was in her 20s at the time. Howard asked where she met her. She said she was an actress. Howard said that it must have been someone from Starship Troopers. Denise said she met this girl through friends and work. She said that Howard would know who she is if she told him. Denise said she was at a party when she met her. Howard asked for the details of what went on and tried guessing who it was. Denise would only say she was beautiful. Howard asked if it was Jenny McCarthy, Pam Anderson or Heather Locklear. She said no to all of those.
Howard asked about whose room they were in. Denise said it was in the other girl's room. She didn't remember what she was wearing at the time since it was so long ago. Denise said that the other woman started kissing her. She said she wasn't confused or anything. She said that the other woman had nice lips. Denise said she really loves men though.
Howard asked if the other woman removed her clothing. Denise said she did. She said that the other woman was the aggressor. Howard asked if the other girl licked her and went down on her. She said that she stopped her at her stomach. She said there was touching but no licking. Denise said she thinks she had an orgasm from those fingers too. She said she thinks she gave the other girl an orgasm too. Denise said that she knows what to do to get someone off so she did that for the other girl. Howard said that was some story. He asked if she left in shame. She said she didn't leave in shame. Howard said he can imagine their two naked bodies writhing together. He said if he was there he would have been finished in 3 seconds. He said that was an amazing story. Denise said thanks and said that Howard tells it very well. Howard kept throwing out names for the other woman but Denise would just laugh and say that wasn't her.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Denise if there was a chance she'd autograph some panties and mail them to him. She said ''You got it.'' Howard said guys are into that and she could make a fortune doing that. Denise said that she did that with her husband once. She said that didn't really help keep the relationship going though.
Another caller said he was running out of tissues. He said that he had gone through a few. Howard asked if he blew a load when he heard about her relationship with Christina Applegate. Denise said that wasn't her either.
Another caller said that Scott Baio only rated her a 3 when Howard had him on the show. Denise said that she was never with him so she's not sure why that is. She said that she was neve with him. Denise said she found that to be dumb and insulting. Howard said that maybe he got confused. Denise said she never slept with Scott. She said she went to dinner with him but that's it. Howard said there's no way she's only a 3. Denise said Charlie wouldn't have married her if she was only a 3.
Howard said that he really likes Denise and she's such a good person. He said that if he was with her then her kids would have to live next door. He said that she's lovely and thanked her for not wearing panties. He asked if she wrote the book all by herself. She said she did write it on her computer. She said there are some pictures in there that no one has seen too. Denise said that she had to get through a lot of stuff in her life and she wrote about that. She said she hopes that someone can be inspired by the book and pick up their life and move on after going through things like she has.
Benjy wanted to ask a question. He said he thought it would be fun if she played a computer game where it can guess at who she was with. She said she didn't want to try that. Benjy said she didn't have to say anything. Benjy started asking the questions he had on the computer. He went through them one by one. Howard let him do it. Denise was answering the questions. One question was ''has she used a weapon'' so that was kind of a weird one. Benjy asked more questions about her being tall and things like that. Howard threw in some of his own questions too. Denise didn't know some of the answers to Benjy's questions.
Benjy said he had an answer after all of that. Benjy told her to look at him and came up with Ashley Olsen. Denise said that wasn't her. Benjy changed some of the answers and said it was Candace Cameron. Denise said that's not her but she is part of her supper club. Benjy kept asking questions. Benjy would name a person and Denise would deny it so he'd ask more questions. Howard said it would be so much easier if she just named her. Denise just said no to every name. Benjy had a bunch of names and one of them was Denise Richards. Benjy went over all of the names and they were all over the place. Howard told Benjy to stop already.
Howard tried to take one last call but the guy wasn't there. He wrapped up and went to break after throwing a couple more names out for Denise to deny.
Howard took a call from a guy and asked if he wanted to try and win an iPad 2. The guy said he'd like to play. Howard said they're going to play the Big Foot Pronunciation game. Howard had Fred play the sound effects for right and wrong answers. Fred went nuts with that playing them a bunch of times.
Howard got to the game and told the caller he had to guess if Big Foot would say the word the right way. Howard said he's not sure how the game was done. Gary said he was trying to get an answer out of Sal. Sal didn't even know what game they were trying to play. He said they tell Big foot the word and he had to repeat it.
The first word was clavicle. The caller guessed he wouldn't be able to do it. Howard played the clip and Big Foot said it just fine. Howard said the next one was Necrophilia. Big Foot wasn't able to do it and the caller guessed correctly. The next word was Neurology. The caller said no. Big Foot wasn't able to do it. The next word was Nicotine. The caller said yes he would get it. Big Foot was able to say it no problem. The caller won the iPad 2.
The caller said that Howard explained the whole Artie situation very coherently yesterday and he appreciated that. He said he understands why Artie can't come back to the show. Howard went to another break after that.
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Howard came back and had Tila Tequila come in. Howard said he had never gotten so much hate mail before she was on last. He said he has to talk to her about that. Howard said that he has a lot to talk to her about.
Tila came in and Howard said she's looking very sexy. She said it's been a while. She said she thinks it was around a year ago she was on last. Howard said he got so much hate mail about her when she was on. Howard said they told him not to have her on the show. Howard asked why people are enraged by her. Tila said last year was a crazy time for her. Howard asked why it was so crazy. She said they might as well just replay her last appearance.
Howard said Tila has a crazy life. He said she wants to move to New York and get a ''normal'' roommate. Howard said that he would imagine that everyone would be afraid to live with her. She said that it's the opposite of what people think she's like. Howard asked if she has a lot of money. She said she's actually broke right now. She said she just wants to experience what it's like to be normal. Tila said she went to college for a semester and she kind of misses that normal life. Tila said she'd like to go back to college and party with her colleagues and things like that.
Howard asked if she wants the fame to go away. Tila said that she would like that right now. Howard asked what she wants to go to school for. She said he wants to be a teacher.
Howard asked Tila about her porn tape and what was going on there. Tila said that she is in the tape but she had nothing to do with the release. Howard said he tried to watch it last night but it froze up. He said he wasn't able to see it. He said he saw some of it and it was pretty hard core. He said it looked like some hot action too.
Howard asked Tila about going to this Insane Clown Posse concert and she got pelted with stones, balloons with urine in them and feces. Tila said they set her up for that. She said that they have a reputation for doing that. Tila said they did the same thing to Method Man the next day. Tila said they just wanted to talk about her and that's how they did it. Howard asked why people hate her so much. Tila said she doesn't know. She said he'd have to ask those people.
Howard asked Tila what she would do if she was a P.R. person and she wanted to advise her. Tila said she would just move to New York and not give a fuck about them.
Tila told Howard that the insane Clown Posse set her up and they got what they wanted. Howard said that they advised her not to go on stage and she went up anyway. She said that they're lying about that. Tila said she was going to sue them but it's a waste of her time so she's just going to forget about it and move on.
Howard asked Tila about her MTV show and how she was looking for love on the show. Tila is into women and she had a girlfriend for a while. Tila said they broke up but she just met someone a week after moving to New York. She said that it's a guy and she hasn't been with guys for years. She said that she makes guys wait like 3 months before they get in her pants. Tila said she likes girls better but she likes guys who get her jokes. She said that's a must for anyone who dates her. Howard said he wouldn't think she'd be into him if she was into girls. He asked if she'd bring girls home for the guy. Tila said that she will only have threesomes with women. She said she's never had a guy in them.
Howard asked Tila about this woman she was dating and if she was famous. Tila said she was but she doesn't want to talk about who it was.
Howard asked why Tila thinks that Samantha Ronson was happy about her getting attacked on stage at the Insane Clown Posse concert. Tila said she was pretty cool with her until she said that. She said she was pretty shocked by the comment.
Howard asked Tila about how she was supposed to be on Celebrity Rehab but she didn't get on. Tila said that there's a group of rich bitches who do nothing but have Daddy's money. He said they found out that she had the chance to go on the show and they got jealous. She said they started making up stories about her and sending them out. She said that she knows exactly who said that but whatever. Howard wondered how you bad mouth someone out of celebrity rehab.
Tila said she is up 24/7 and she doesn't have an Ambien addiction like people claim she does. Howard said she tweeted once that she had an addiction problem. Tila didn't know what he was talking about. Howard asked if she had an addiction problem. Tila said he has. She said she's tried just about every drug on the planet at some point in her life.
Howard asked Tila about people throwing human doody at her and how that must have made her nuts since she has OCD.
Tila told Howard about cuts on her arms and how her other personality had done that to her. She said that's the thug bitch that beats her up all the time. Her name is Jane. She said she has a few other personalities in there too. Tila told Howard about how she wishes that they would leave her alone. She's done some things trying to get rid of them but she has a hard time getting rid of them.
Tila claims that her Jane personality tried to kill her. Tila said that she tried to prevent her from killing someone else and she had to fight with her to stop from killing someone else so she stabbed her but Jane is in her body so she stabbed herself. Tila said that Jane put video of it on YouTube. She said that there was this gory video of her stabbing her arm up there.
Howard said everything she's talking about would tell him to stay away from her. He said that he thinks he would fuck her anyway though. He said she must be wild in bed. Tila said crazy girls are wild in bed. Tila said there's a man in her too. She said his name is Owen. Tila said that the guy is an old British man.
Howard asked Tila if she thinks that she could wake up with an ass full of semen and not know who it was that had sex. Tila said ''ewwww'' and said she thinks she'd know. Howard said the Howard TV guys have video of Tila stabbing herself. They played the tape and Tila said you can hear the voice isn't even her voice.
Tila told Howard that she got into a fight once and made friends with a Hispanic gang to defend her. She said that they brought her into their gang.
Tila said there's another personality in her that she calls Little Tila. She said she's very shy and very scared. Howard wanted to talk to her. Howard said hello to her and asked if she was very shy and if she likes anal. Little Tila didn't know what anal was. She said she didn't want to talk. Little Tila brought regular Tila back. Howard wanted to talk to Owen. Tila did an awful British accent for about a second.
Howard said that Tila is very attractive and that's what saves her. Howard said he would like to screen some of her friends.
Howard said Tila is still working on her music career. Robin said she thought she wanted a normal life. Howard said that's not happening.
Howard asked Tila about what the worst crime is that she committed. She said she was going to go to sleep. Howard asked if it was murder. She wasn't talking.
Howard played some of Tila's new song. She said it was the wrong one. Howard said that's what he had. He asked to dance with her. Howard got up and danced and Tila claimed that Owen was going to dance with him.
Tila told Howard about going to a party last night and seeing a bunch of news anchors there. She said there were some who were messed up on drugs.
Tila told Howard that she changed her name to Miss Tila because even she hates Tila Tequila. Howard gave her some plugs for her new song and her web site MissTila.com.
Howard suggested some more names for Tila. He suggested Tila Vodka or maybe Tila Nyquila or something like that. Howard said he bets that she does the full monty in bed. Howard suggested Tila Fajita. Tila said that was a downgrade from Tila Tequila.
Howard asked Tila about what she does with the chicks she's with. He asked if she's tried a strap-on with the girls. She said she has done that. She said that it can feel like pounding her from behind and you feel dick envy when you do that. She said he can cum from just that.
Howard asked if she's jealous that he has a penis. She said she'd have to look at it first. Howard asked if she's ever fucked a fat chick. Tila said she hasn't yet. Howard asked if she's just into lipstick lesbians. Howard figured that a real lesbian would be with a more masculine lesbian. Tila said that's not the way it works. Tila said she felt like Jane was about to come out while he's talking about this. She said she's going to push her back in and not let her out.
Howard asked Tila what she does with nips. She said she just sucks on them. She said Howard knows what to do. She said that her nipples are very sensitive and she can cum from someone just sucking on them. Howard said a few minutes should be enough then. She said that when you suck on her nipples she can cum because they're connected to her vagina in some way. Howard asked what kind of sucking it would be. She said that if you suck on one and play with the other with your hand she can cum. Howard thanked her for that.
Howard said that you can get Tila's single ''You Can Dance'' on iTunes. He gave her another plug for her web site too. Howard said she taught him some stuff today too. He said that most of his audience is guys so they go right over those titties usually.
Howard asked if he should lick her vagina too. She said that's a must. She said that you have to get all sensual with it and tease it with your fingers. Tila said that you can use your finger around her ass too. Howard said it was exhausting what she was describing. He said he likes Tila. He said she's fun. Howard said he's going to watch her sex tape too. Tila said that's why she had to dye her hair black.
Howard had some audio of Tila making some noise in her sex tape. She asked him to stop the tape and she'd make that sound on her own. She made some noise and touched herself. Howard asked if she really did that. She said she did. Howard said she's lying. Howard said he didn't see anything but she was showing her wet fingers.
Gary asked if she wanted to ride the Sybian. She said she would do that. She had no idea what it was. Howard told her it was all clean and that she had to be honest on it. Howard said he'd suck her nipples while she's on it. The guys set her up on the Sybian. She asked what she's supposed to do. She flashed her tits to Howard. Howard said they're perfect. She claims they're real.
Howard had Gary turn the Sybian on and started her off at about 30 percent power. She had him turn it up. She said she was going to cum about a minute later. She asked them to stop but Howard told Gary to keep it going. Tila stayed on it and sounded like she was enjoying it. She asked if she could take it with her. They eventually turned the power down and let her off the thing.
Tila said that was good shit. Howard said her panties were soaked. Howard said she ripped her top off during that. Tila asked if it was going to be all over the press. Howard said of course it is. Howard said her new single is going to go through the roof. Tila said this will be her last appearance ever. She said that's the end of Miss Tila.
Howard asked if it was as good as she made it sound. She said that they had it at 100 percent and she was rubbing herself. Howard said she's rubbing her ass too. He said her panties are wet from that. Howard told her to take them off. Howard told her to get back on there with Jane and Little Tila... and Owen too.
Howard said that was some ride. He said she lost herself. Tila told Howard he was supposed to help make her better. She said that he's not helping her image. Howard said she came to the right place. Howard asked Robin if she saw that. Robin said she saw some of it. Tila asked if they filmed that. Howard said of course they did. Tila didn't know that people were listening. She saw the video replay and asked them to please delete it. She said she feels so embarrassed. Howard said it was the most beautiful thing she saw.
Tila asked Robin how she feels about doing all of this. Howard said this was Robin's idea. Tila said she should go to church and become a nun. Howard gave her some more plugs for her song and her web site. Howard said goodbye to Tila, Jane, Owen and Little Tila. She attempted some of the voices but they all sounded the same. They went to break a short time later.
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A caller said that the Tila interview was great. Howard thanked him for the call. Howard said that interview went from 0-160.
Howard said that Denise Richards is going to be signing her book at Book Ends in Ridgewood, New Jersey tonight at 7pm. Howard said he'd imagine she'll be wearing the same outfit that she had on during the show.
Jon Hein got to his show preview and ran down the list of things that they'd be covering today. He ran down a bunch of stuff that they'd be covering today.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said Tila is a bitch. Howard said she rode the Sybian. Jeff said she was condescending to Howard. Howard didn't seem to mind. Howard said Jeff isn't happy about her though. Jeff told Howard to have a lovely day.
Howard said Shuli is now filling in for Steve Langford and he got a lot of complaints that they didn't have an intro for him. He said a caller suggested that they have one. They made a few for him and one was ''Shuli doesn't have a theme song'' and then there was one that said ''Shuli replaced a guy with a big penis'' or ''Shuli's on all 723 shows on Sirius.'' Fred liked the third one. Howard played them over again. They liked the two last ones. Howard said they're going to go with the ''Shuli's on all 723 shows on Sirius'' theme song.
Robin started her news with a story about McDonald's shaking up its menu. Robin said she hopes Jon Hein is okay. She said that they're going to add meals with less calories and healthier things. Howard said he's sure Jon just wants the originals to be left on the menu. Jon came back in and said that people should be fine as long as they can get the old stuff too.
Robin read a story about a girl who was supposed to be a valedictorian but she's going to have a ''co-valedictorian'' even though that person has a lower grade point average. Robin said the girl is suing the school for racial discrimination. Gary said he read that she got pregnant and came back in and still got the great GPA. The school may not want a single mother getting that honor for some reason. Howard said they have to have one valedictorian. You can't have two.
Robin said there is a race called the Brickyard 400 and they hold it at Indianapolis Speedway. Robin said a billboard went up in Indy that was warning people about hot dogs and the health risks of eating them. Robin said that it went up near the speedway. Robin said that eating one a day can increase colorectal cancer. Howard said his father goes to Nathan's and eats like 3 once a year. He said that's what people should do. Not eat one a day. Robin said they serve about a million hot dogs a year at this race.
Robin said that no one knew who was on Casey Anthony's jury but now they're saying that the names will be kept under wraps for 3 more months. Howard said he saw some of the names and they were Gary the Retard and Wendy the Retard. He said that was just a joke of course. Howard said no one is going to kill a jury member over that case. He said no one is going to kill Casey Anthony either. He said there are worse atrocities than Casey Anthony. He said he's not going to waste his time thinking about that.
Robin read a story about a guy who tried to perform surgery on himself. He tried to work on a hernia he had with a butter knife. Robin said that has to be incredibly painful. Robin said they found the man naked laying outside on a lounge chair with a knife handle sticking out of his stomach. Robin said the man removed the knife and put a cigarette in the wound while the ambulance was on the way.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that there's a painting on eBay that Howard painted during his Jackson Pollock phase. Robin asked how they got it. The caller said the seller claims it was through Crazy Cabbie. Howard talked about how he painted that and how Robin was fooled by it thinking it was a Pollock. Howard said the painting might not even be real.
The caller gave Howard an F, Marry, Kill with Jackie, Artie and Steve Langford. Howard said he might have to marry Jackie even after his many issues. Howard thought about it some more and said that he can't let Steve fuck him because of his big penis. Howard told the caller to leave him alone with that. He said he doesn't even know how to answer that. He said he's all man... or at least 80 percent man.
Robin got back to her news and read some stuff about Crystal Harris and how Hugh Hefner was commenting on her. Robin read the details of what Crystal had said on the Howard Stern Show yesterday and how Hefner responded to her claims. Hef said that she was lying about their relationship. Howard said they have to have the two of them in there together to duke it out.
Robin read about a Mexican boy who murdered and beheaded 4 men after torturing them. Robin said that the boy was ordered to pay a fine that's worth about $380,000. The boy was released. Robin said he only got 3 years in jail. Robin said the jail terms down there really aren't that long. Howard had to go to break after that.
After the break, around 9:50am, Robin got back to her news and read a story about a Philadelphia news reporter who was attacked on live TV by the son of a guy who was accused of animal abuse. Robin had the audio of the live report where the guy was attacked. They cut away as the reporter was being attacked. Howard said they shouldn't have cut away. Robin said they found a bunch of dead dogs and live dogs inside. They found a bunch of other animals in there as well. Howard wondered how the lived with the smell.
Robin read about the NFL lockout being over and had some audio of some players commenting on that.
Robin read about Gene Simmons proposal to Shannon Tweed. Robin said that there's some controversy over it now. Robin had some audio of the proposal on the Gene Simmons Family Jewels show. Robin said they didn't show her response to the proposal in the episode. Robin said that Gene must be in big trouble if he's finally asking to marry her. Howard wondered if Gene could remain faithful.
Robin said that George Lopez was on Piers Morgan's show talking about Jay Leno and how he was upset with him. George was saying that Jay had made some comments about him and he didn't appreciate that. George was saying there are other late night hosts who don't like him. George said he doesn't think any of them are crazy about Jay. Howard said Jimmy Fallon doesn't hate anyone. He wouldn't lump him in that group. Robin had some audio of George talking about his marriage and being a father and how he hasn't been the father he wishes he could have been. Howard said that's very honest and he likes George. Robin said he wants to run for Mayor of Los Angeles too. George said he won't rule it out. Howard said he likes his honesty and he thinks that more people should admit the stuff he's admitting. Howard said anytime you bad mouth Jay then he's on your side.
Robin read about the guy in Norway who went on a killing spree. His lawyer is saying that he's probably insane. Howard said he was reading about how the guy wasn't getting chicks so he went and got plastic surgery. They spent a short time talking about that story. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin read about how they're going to allow Jared Lee Loughner to take anti-psychotic drugs. Robin said they have diagnosed him as a schizophrenic and he has had screaming and crying fits. He's also hearing things on the radio and saying that they're inserting thoughts in his head. Howard said that seems to be a common thing with schizophrenic.
Robin read about Michele Bachman blaming the republicans and democrats for the debt problems in this country. Robin had some audio of her talking about that. Robin had some other news about the debt ceiling issue and had some audio of various people talking about that.
Robin read a story about 9/11 survivors and workers who are not going to be able to take advantage of a fund that was set up to help. Robin said that you'd think they would be first.
Robin read about how identity theft is huge and kids are often victims because of their clear history. Robin had a clip of a woman talking about that and how people should protect their children's Social Security number.
Robin read about Amy Winehouse's death and how MTV is tapping into her archives to air some of her rarely seen stuff.
Robin read about Ben Rothlesberger getting married this past weekend. Robin said she's not sure who would marry a guy like that.
Robin read about the new Smurf movie that's coming out. She had some audio of Neil Patrick Harris talking about the new movie. Howard wondered if there's any chance he would ever watch that movie. Robin said no way.
Robin said there's a movie called The Devil's Double and it's about Saddam Hussein's son's double. She said that it's based on his life. Howard said he wants to see that movie. Robin had some audio of the actor who plays the part of this body double. Howard didn't seem to care. Robin got the hiccups and had some trouble speaking. Howard told her to go home. Howard said he doesn't get them. He said his mother would say there's something wrong with Robin. Robin said she doesn't get them every day. They're gone already. They only lasted a couple of minutes. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:10am.
Jon asked Benjy about his interviews and how he didn't really edit them down all that much. Benjy said that he did edit them though. Gary didn't think he had. Jon said that Sal and Richard are really good at editing.
Jon asked what was going on with Sal not knowing what game they were playing today. Gary said they were editing a bit and they didn't hear what they were doing. Gary said Sal was just confused.
Jon asked Gary if his throat clearing got on his nerves today. Gary said he starts clearing his throat when he hears that clip of himself clearing his throat. He said he told Fred that during a break.
Jon said he wanted to talk about Denise Richards. Gary said he didn't know much about her before she came on the show the first tine. He said she does know the show and she's been through a lot since the last time she was on. He said it takes a cool person to come in there and be honest like she is. Jon said that she came in there after that crazy night the last time. Gary said she left at like 9:05 and he got a news story from Jason around 9:15 about the night before. He said she apologized to him for not being able to talk about that on that day.
Gary said that Denise is a nice person and she makes you feel like she cares about what you're saying to her. Benjy asked if he feels like he could fuck her. Gary said that he doesn't think he could but she does give you that feeling. Gary said that he doesn't care when women say they're not wearing underwear but today it had an odd effect on him. Benjy said she has great eyes. He said there's something about them.
JD came in so Jon talked to him about Denise too. He was saying that she says everything in such a lady like way and he likes to hear that. He said that she's beyond people who watch TV for a living though. Gary said he was in the green room with her and she asked to take a picture with him. Gary said she hugged him and she Tweeted out that picture so he Retweeted it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Tila was really annoying and they shouldn't have her on the show anymore. He said that she's just annoying. Gary said he was trying to figure out what it is that people don't like. Gary said he thinks that she's funny and he likes that she comes in thinking that she's hot shit and no one knows who she is.
Another caller said that JD could get Denise if he wanted. He said that she's a good girl and she has some heart. Gary said he wasn't able to get Ashley Dupree. The caller said that JD has himself convinced that he can't get her so that's why it doesn't work out for him. JD said he has tried and it ain't happening again with Ashley.
Jon said that JD is his own worst enemy in those situations. JD said that Ashley and Denise are in different spectrums. He said that Denise is an actress and stuff and Ashley isn't. He said she's lesser known. JD said that Denise has a lot more impressive guys trying to fuck her. JD said he will try Tweeting to her later today and see if she responds. Gary said he bets she will.
Jon took another call from a guy who went off on Lisa G talking about how she doesn't sound sexy at all but he has no idea what she looks like. Gary told him to Google her. He said she's not there to sound sexy though. He said she's a news person.
Jon talked about some of the stuff Denise was talking about today and wondered what it was that she saw in Charlie Sheen. Gary said he saw Rob Lowe talking about how Charlie has been pretty much the same all his life. Gary said he read a story about Charlie working on Major League and how he took steroids to get his fast ball from 80 to 85 miles per hour. He said it's a movie and no one can tell.
Benjy said that his friend Marianne Garvey has spoken to Charlie and he can be fun to talk to. He said that everyone he's talked to said he can flip pretty easy though.
Jon said that Denise and Howard were talking about how they could date if they were single. Gary said he thinks that if Howard was single they would absolutely go out.
Jon asked Benjy about the computer game he was playing with Denise on the air. Benjy said that was a real thing from the internet. He said that was one of his favorite moments on the show ever. Gary said he thought all of the names, except for a few, were all feasible answers.
Jon said they found out that Nikki Sixx wasn't the guy who Denise was talking about last time. He said she still has some mysteries about her.
Jon said that Howard mentioned that he and Beth had talked about kids. Gary said that's a big door opening. Gary said that they're wondering what it would be like. JD said Howard was talking about how they have an open mind to everything. Jon wondered if they're walking down that path. Benjy said that maybe they're just fantasizing about it. Jon said he thinks that they've discussed it seriously. Gary said that he thinks the baby will be born January 1, 2016. That's the day after they're done on the air there.
Benjy said Beth has talked about how she would do it if Howard was into it. Jon said that if that would be a deal breaker if Beth wanted to have a kid. Gary said he doesn't think it's a deal breaker. He said they love each other so much that it would be hard for Howard not to be with her. He doesn't think Howard wants to be a father either but it would be tough for him to break it off over that. Benjy said he thinks that if Howard felt she was going to miss out on something then he would do it for her. Jon said it's all fun to speculate on. They had to go to break after that.
Jon asked if she's doing a bit when she talks about her multiple personalities. Gary said that she turned her head to change characters and it was really bad. He said he thought she had to be kidding. Jon said that it's tough to keep up with her.
Jon said Howard played that song of hers and she went into a different kind of dance. Benjy said she looked so fucking hot. Gary said he thinks the real guest is Jane and the fake one is Tila. He said he thinks that she's an angry chick who is trying to be nice.
Benjy asked how she became so popular. Gary said she was popular on Myspace and she got a TV show from that. JD said that's all she did though. Gary asked JD if he hates Rebecca Black too. JD said he doesn't like her. Gary said no one is forcing you to buy her song or anything. You don't have to like her.
Jon said Tila had to expect that reaction from the Juggalos. Gary said that Shuli knows about this because he and Beetlejuice were at one of their shows. Shuli said they were at the show the year before the Tila incident. Shuli told the story about going up to the concert and how everyone there was just doing what they want. He said that there were tents, carnival rides and wrestling rings at the concert. Shuli said they were performing in a tent and they were told they couldn't attack anyone or they'd start throwing shit at them. Shuli said there were people talking during the concert but he just kept his mouth shut.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves Tila. He said that her and Denise were totally different kinds of women. He said that Tila is the kind of girl you want to shut up so you fuck the shit out of her.
Benjy was making a similar point earlier. Benjy said that Denise is very feminine and sweet and Tila is interesting but not as soft as Denise is. Gary said she's harder edged.
Another caller said that he was cursing Gary the whole time Tila was on. He thought Gary was frustrated with her. Gary said he wasn't at all.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he can't stand Tila. He asked if they got the sense that her mental disorder was a bullshit act. Gary said that he thinks that she thinks she has multiple personalities. Benjy said he thinks she may have just heard about that kind of thing and went with it.
Another caller said the reason they don't like her is because she's a stupid, stupid cunt. He said that she can't be serious with what she was saying today. Benjy asked the guy if he's cool with gay marriage. The caller said he is and wondered what that had to do with it. Benjy was just going with a hunch.
Gary asked the caller if he hates Paris Hilton and people like that as much. The caller said he understands that people have to get on the air to get some publicity but he just doesn't get why she was on the show. Gary said he thinks she was on to promote that song of her's. Gary said she came to them and Will pitched her. Howard said yes so they had her on. Gary said even Will was wondering why they were having her on.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Benjy why he can't be funny on Howard's show but he's on fire on this show. Gary said they've told him not to be on fire on Howard's show. Benjy said he just doesn't have that rapport with Howard.
Gary said he and Will had a conversation about Tila's Sybian ride. He said she got on it and started to pretend to have a good time but then she realized it was working on her and she started to enjoy it for real. They had to go to break after that.
Benjy said that Tom seems like the friendly and easy going one. Gary said that Roseanne seemed to be trying to let it go but she seemed a little irritated that he's still famous. She made him famous. Now he's kind of more famous than she is. Gary said that he told his son Jackson that she was coming on today and he kind of knew who she was so Tom may be more famous at this point.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he wasn't able to listen to Tila today. He said she seems to think that her shit doesn't stink. He said that he didn't want to dwell on that too much though. He said he wanted to ask Gary about the Jets and what Gary thinks about Mark Sanchez and if he would get him on the show. Gary said he would love to get him on the show but he's not sure he would come on. They went over that for a minute but Benjy was about to drag them into a vortex so they moved on.
Jon congratulated Shuli on his news theme. He said he thought they were all pretty funny. Shuli said Fred is willing to take more suggestions too. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about the Ultimate Superfan Trivia Challenge they had coming up today. Vinnie Favale will be hosting the contest. Howard said he may know the least answers himself. Howard said that's why they have Vinnie coming in to host.
Howard said that they have a $2,500 prize for each of the winners. He said Gary and Fred should be good. Fred said that Brian Phelan was really good last time.
Howard said he knows a guy who teaches a class in high school about the show. He said he was looking at the final exam and he thinks he could pass that. He said it was pretty easy stuff about his birthday and things like that. Howard asked Gary for the test so he could check that out. Gary said he needed a moment to find it. Howard said there were a lot of technical questions about the Sybian in the test.
Howard said he goes crazy every day with his computers. He said he found a program called ToDo and he recommended it to everyone but now he's not sure if he's going to stand by that. Howard said he loves the program but it doesn't replicate. He said he has 3 computers he works off of and then he has the iPad and the iPhone. He said the list will end up being different on the iMac. He said he has to hit a synchronization button and he doesn't want to do that. Howard said Apple is supposed to have their own To Do list in the new Lion operating system. He said he's hoping that takes care of his problem.
Howard said his wife hates his calendar on the computer. He said she tells him it doesn't work and doesn't trust it.
Gary came in with the Howard Stern quiz. Gary said it is a high school class. He said that it's 3 of the 5 tests that he gives. Howard said he likes this. Howard said he likes that they turned his show into a class. He said maybe he's turning the kids off to the show though.
Howard read some of the questions and the first one was about which station he was at the longest. WXRK was the right answer. He had a question about the movie ''Private Parts'' and things like that. Robin thought it was a goof. Howard said it wasn't but the questions kind of sounded like it was a goof.
Howard wondered if Boardwalk Empire is back on the air. Robin said it's not. Howard said his TiVo is recording the old episodes as new and he's not sure why.
Howard said Tila Tequila was on yesterday and her show is going to be huge on Howard TV. Howard said she's hot and people will tune in to see her. Howard said JD hates her. He's not sure why. Howard said JD was talking about how they wanted him to go on the Wrap Up Show and trash her. Howard said it didn't make sense to him to have them trashing guests on the show. Howard said JD has an explanation if Robin wants to hear it. Robin said she did.
Howard said JD was on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and they really need to have him on more. Howard had a quick clip of JD comparing Denise Richards and Ashley Dupre. Howard played the clip and JD was stumbling and trying to explain how Ashley and Denise Richards were in show business but at different ends of the spectrum. Jon kept him going and had him explaining that to them.
Howard asked JD about his hatred of Tila. JD said she's one of those people who is famous for being famous. He said he thinks she's full of it about the sex tape too. He said he doesn't believe she didn't want it released. He said her impressions of her multiple personalities was lame too. Howard said it was pretty great the way she turned her back on them when she would change personalities.
Howard said they asked Tila to cut some IDs for them and they asked her to do them as her different personalities. Howard played the audio of her doing that. She did her lame impressions of Owen, Jane, Caroline and Little Tila. They were all bad impressions.
Howard said that JD would bang her so hard. JD said there's no way he would. He said he wants nothing to do with her. He didn't think she was attractive. Howard said he would too. JD said he wouldn't even want to be in the room with her. Howard said if she wanted to blow him he wouldn't stop her. JD said that if he puts it that way he'd like to think he would say no. Howard said he's not going to turn that down.
Howard said the multiple personalities don't work that way. He said you don't slip in and out of them that easy. Robin said that was ridiculous. She said that was just her changing her voice. Howard said he can picture JD and Owen together. Howard did an impression of what that would sound like.
Howard said JD really hates her. JD said he isn't very fond of her. He said he doesn't spend his day thinking about her.
Howard said he went home and Doug sent him the video teaser of her and he rushed to watch it. Howard said she's a hot chick. JD said that's his opinion.
Howard said that Hef is responding and that's why the story is so huge. Howard said he found that the best thing to do is avoid commenting. Gary came in and said that Hef wants to call in but he can't get up early enough. They want another guy to call in for Hef. Howard said Hef has to call in himself.
Howard read some of the article where they mentioned his name. Howard said the story is still huge on the news. He had a clip from a newscast in California where they went from the explosion in Oslo to the story about Crystal and Hefner. Howard found that to be kind of funny that they'd go from one to the other.
Howard said that's a good commercial for their show. Howard said they're constantly in the news with the interviews they do. Howard said it must get people thinking about coming over.
Howard said he read Bob Lefsetz's column about Crystal and Hef and he had some interesting points. Howard told Robin about some of that stuff.
Howard said that there is some crazy stuff that goes on there according to Crystal. Howard said he had a girl ask him to get her out of there once. Howard said it was very strange. Robin said she remembers a story about one of the girls who had a bodyguard with her the whole time she was there. Howard said maybe they were afraid a horny guy was going to bother her.
Howard played another news clip where they talked about Crystal and Hef. In that show they were saying that Crystal needs to keep her mouth shut. They were talking about how you never talk about kissing and telling. They thought she should have some respect and class and not talk about it. Robin thought they were kidding. Howard said he's not sure. Maybe it was a parody. Howard said he loves it when they're part of a discussion like that.
Howard said he has audio from Jimmy Kimmel's show where Dax Sheppard talked about coming over to his house and having his picture taken. Howard said he sent Jimmy a picture he took of him and Molly and Jimmy told him it was the greatest picture he's taken. Howard said Jimmy did write it to him but he hasn't said that on his show.
Howard played some of the audio of Jimmy and Dax talking about how they spent some time with Howard Stern. Howard said they spent a whole week together and they came to his house and crashed. Howard said they were running around to parks fishing and stuff before they came over. Howard said it sounded like they were running around everywhere. He said by the time they got to his place they were worn out. Gary said that Dax works on a TV show and he shot a movie so he only had a few days off.
In the clip Jimmy mentioned that they both went and visited Howard Stern. Dax thanked Jimmy for helping get him invited to Howard's house. Jimmy said Howard is a photographer now. Dax said it's adorable how he's learning to be a photographer. Dax said that he and Jimmy hate having their picture taken. Howard said if that's true he wouldn't have been posing the way he was. Howard said he was working it. Dax said he won't do magazines because he hates having his picture taken.
Jimmy and Dax said that Howard told them as soon as they got there that he had a photography session planned. Dax mentioned he's engaged to Kristen Bell and the audience gave him some cheers.
Howard said he told Jimmy that he would take some pictures of them if he wanted. He didn't jump on them right away. Howard said he admits they were into a photography thing because it's on his mind but he didn't jump on them immediately.
Howard said he does spend a lot of time with his teacher. He said the guy came over to drop off a fill light and he introduced him to everyone that was over. He said he hates using flash so he wanted to try the fill light and the teacher brought it over.
Howard got back to the clip where Dax and Jimmy talked about the photo shoot. They said that they did it on their last day there. Dax said that Jimmy looked like he had been gang raped in prison after the photo shoot. Howard said Jimmy did everything he said and he did look violated after. Howard said Jimmy was good and he didn't give him any bullshit. Howard said he told him to smile or look serious and he didn't question his techniques. Howard said when he shows Robin the pictures she'll see how he did a great job. Howard said he has to get Jimmy's permission first. Howard said he did send Jimmy one of the pictures and he really liked it. Howard said that Robin will agree when she sees it.
Robin said it sounds odd that he invited them to his house and then told them they were going to do this photo shoot. Howard said it didn't happen like they said it did. Howard said he's just trying to stay above water and not sound like a douche bag.
Howard played more of the audio of Dax and Jimmy goofing on him about the photo shoot. They said that was almost like payment for coming to stay with him. Dax said that Howard isn't really good yet. Howard cut it off and said that's what offended him. He said the pictures are beautiful. Howard said Robin would go ''Wow!'' if she saw them. Howard said he may not give them to Dax if he doesn't think they're that good.
Howard said Dax thinks that he's pissed off at him now. Howard said he's not pissed off at him. He said he had a blast with them all. He said this is all joking around. Howard said he's really not all that good yet and Dax is right. Howard is working on it though.
Howard played more of Dax talking about the posing he was doing with them that day. Dax did an impression of Howard telling them how to pose and it was him constantly telling them how to move around as he took pictures.
Howard said Dax was doing just fine and he knew the story full well in advance. He said that no one was forced to do anything. He said he wasn't able to get Dax off the camera. Robin said that these stories might be great stories one day in the distant future. Howard said Dax has story after story of his celebrity encounters. He said he's got a book in him. Howard said now he's one of those stories.
Howard said Dax loves the camera. He played more of the audio and Dax was talking about how Howard was asking him to hide his nose behind Kristen. He thinks that was Howard doing what he would like to have done if he was being photographed. Howard said this is what offended him and that's why he sent the picture to Jimmy. Dax said Howard was upset that he didn't have his camera set up right too. Howard said that was his fault. He said he had some over exposed pictures and it didn't quite work out. He said he did throw a tantrum. He said those pictures were not lost though. He said he figured out how to fix them in Photoshop.
Robin said that she's never seen a photographer tantrum. Howard said that's his technique. He said he'd have Robin laughing with his tantrum. He said a Howard Stern photo shoot is like no other.
Howard played more of the audio and Dax and Jimmy both had the ''hide your nose'' discussion. Howard said he sent the picture to Jimmy to show that his nose showed up. Howard said he's going to fly out there to show the pictures he took to show just how good they are. Howard said he's going to make Dax come on and see greatness. Howard said he's still working on the pictures and he's not done yet. He said he should be done this weekend though.
Robin asked who is next in the studio. Howard said he's doing a shoot for Beth for World Magazine and then he's not sure what he'll be doing. He said he has a couple of things lined up but he's not sure the people want to be mentioned.
Howard said that he took some of Fred and Alison but he's not sold on them. He said Fred wants him to photograph him in his convertible. He said he has some ideas about that. He said he would like another shot at that. Howard said their shots are really good. He said Alison was in a low cut top and he wants to get more of her titties. Fred said he'd like that since she won't let him shoot her titties. Howard said he's getting a new camera and he will be able to use that for the tittie shoot. Howard said the boys at Adorama are hooking him up with this Nikon he wants. He said it's hard to get apparently.
Howard said he really needs to get Alison naked. He said she has great boobs. Fred said they really are great. Howard asked how often they have sex. Fred said it's at least once a month. Howard said they have been married a long time. Fred said they have a daughter too so it's hard to find the time. Howard asked how Fred lets her know that he's ready. Fred said he has a hardness in his shorts. Howard said he kind of brushes his penis on Beth's hand to let her know. Howard asked if Alison ever initiates. Fred said she will do that when they're on vacation. Fred said they'll send the kid to a camp or something and they'll have time for that.
Howard had more of Dax and Jimmy to play. He said it was only another 28 seconds. Howard played the clip and Dax talked about the great time he and Kristen had with Howard. He said they were laughing and Howard hates smiling so that upset him. Howard even ripped some plants out that were in his shot. Howard said he really did that. Robin said she can't imagine him doing that. Howard said they were ruining the shot so he ripped them out.
Howard said all he knows is that the pictures of Dax and Kristen and Jimmy and Molly are beautiful, sexy, romantic portraits. Howard said he knew Jimmy was going to flip out when he saw this one picture. Robins said they still only have Howard's word on this. Howard said his word is good and he's telling them that they're good. Howard said he's still a beginner. He said it's really not easy. Howard said the teacher is very devoted to him and they work very hard together. Robin said this poor man is going to be dropped in a couple of years and he'll wonder what happened. Howard said that's what happened to his chess teacher. Howard said he burned out on chess. He's on fire with the photography right now.
Howard said he had to take a break but fuck that. He said someone wrote him and asked how he would do if Sal and Richard went out and asked people if they like Howard Stern or Casey Anthony more. Howard said you'd think everyone would like him more. He played the clip and everyone except one woman said that Casey Anthony was worse. Howard said he knew that was coming. One woman said that it was a difficult question. A second woman said that Howard Stern was worse.
Howard said that's fucked up. He said he has this fucked up image and he's not sure why. Robin said one of the women said he's mean. Robin said that's the perception out there. Howard said they asked the people what's worse, the heat wave or Howard Stern. Some people said the heat wave, some said Howard Stern.
Howard said this one was going to be a slam dunk. He said the boys asked if the Norwegian mass murderer or Howard Stern. Howard said he hopes he doesn't get one vote. Robin said this guy killed 70 some people. Howard played the clip and the second person said Howard Stern was worse. Howard said ''Wow!'' He said that woman hates him. Howard played more and everyone else said the murderer was worse. Howard said that was pretty bad that he even got one vote.
Howard took a call from Hook Nose Mike who said that he's been breaking his ass working. He said he had to sell his house and things have been tough. Howard said that he saw Mike down in Florida when he was visiting Bubba. Mike said he was working for them down there a little bit. Howard said Brent is running for Mayor of something down there. Mike said they put a lot of work into that show down there. He said things got a little too nuts for him. Mike said they were doing some really wild stuff and he had to get out.
Mike asked Howard if he thinks Robin would sit for him. Howard said he thinks she should. Howard said she'd have to wear lingerie though. Robin said she's not ready for a shoot. Howard asked Robin if she would pose for him topless with her hands over her breasts. Robin said no. Howard said that's too bad. Fred and Howard threw out some more ideas but Robin said no to all of them.
Howard said it would be great if she did it and cupped her titties. Howard said he would love to show her ass too. Robin said no to everything. Howard said he wanted to put whipped cream on her titties. She said no. Howard asked about a bubble bath shoot. Robin said no. Mike had some other ideas too but the answer was always no. Howard said they have to go to break and then get to the Ultimate Superfan Trivia Challenge.
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Howard came back and said that's one of his favorite songs and he's glad Fred plays that. Howard did his top 40 DJ voice and introduced the song even though it was already playing. Howard said that this song was Plant's big F-you to Jimmy Paige. Howard said it showed he could do a solo thing.
Howard said he saw a picture of Robert Plant and the guy is looking like a mess. Howard said the guy looks like a woman now. He said he thinks it might be a good ad for not partying too hard. He said he heard they used to party really hard back then. Howard said you know they're all vain too. He said they were gorgeous rock gods but not anymore.
Howard let the song play and then played a Baba Booey song parody that was to the tune of ''In the Mood.''
Howard said Vinnie Favale and 3 superfans are in the studio. Scott the Engineer told Howard which mic Vinnie was on. Howard said Vinnie used to work with them at CBS and he was good enough to come over and host the special today. Howard said Vinnie has lost some weight lately. Vinnie said he lost about 60 pounds. Howard said he asked him to host the show because people love to tell him he sucks. Vinnie said he's already confused so it might suck today.
Howard said that he's one of the contestants. He said it's him, Fred and Gary who will be taking on the Superfans.
Howard said that Vinnie is the Vice President of Programming Late Night over at CBS. Howard said that he wrote a musical too and he has over $80,000 of his own money sunk into it. Vinnie said it's more like $100,000 at this point. He said they did some shows last year and that cost them $25,000 and they only made $20,000. Howard said you can buy tickets to the show. Vinnie said that they're going to try the show for two weeks and he went to Kickstarter.com to get the money to do that.
Howard said this play isn't going to happen. Vinnie said it is happening. Howard gave him a plug and said that you can contribute at HereafterMusical.com. Howard said if you pledge certain amounts you get to have lunch or see some of his Debbie tapes live with him. Howard asked Vinnie what the play is about. Vinnie said it's about people who have died in their lives.
Howard said hello to Jimmy W. who was their first contestant. Howard said he's been listening every day since 1996. Howard talked to Jimmy for a few seconds and then Vinnie. Vinnie said they just asked him last week to host and then gave him questions a few days ago. Vinnie said they're actually very hard. Vinnie said the format of the game is even more complicated.
Howard asked Jimmy about listening to the show and how he does that. Howard went through his notes and found out he had a vasectomy pretty early in his life. Then he got divorced and now he has a new girlfriend. Howard asked what he'll do if she wants kids. Jimmy said they're not getting back in there.
Howard said hello to Joe who said he's been listening to the show since 1988. Joe said he watched the channel 9 show and didn't listen to the radio show early on. Joe was at the premiere of Private Parts in 1997. Joe said that was great and they had a great time there. Howard said that was a great event. Howard said Joe is married and is expecting a child later this year. He's also a big comic book fan. Joe talked about Comic-Con and how he thinks that it's gotten too big and he likes going to Baltimore and Mid-Ohio for their Comic-Cons.
Howard said hi to Peter who has been listening to the show since 1982. Howard said they're all going to have to rely on each other to come up with the answers. He said that they're playing for $2,500 each and they're playing as a team. Howard said their scores are combined but they can't help each other answer. Howard said the prize is pretty sizeable. Howard asked Peter what he'll do with the money. Peter said he'll buy his wife something nice for her 40th birthday.
Howard said Pete likes Fred the best on the show. Howard asked why that is because he doesn't do that much. Peter said he loves the sound effects and Fred does a great job with them. Howard said he talks the most on the show so why not like him? Peter said he does like Howard too. He said he thinks Fred is the backbone of the show.
Howard wished the boys luck and moved over with Fred and Gary so they could play the game. He had Vinnie take over as the host. Howard said that if the boys beat them they win $2,500 and a cruise courtesy of Bud Light.
Vinnie said he had one question. He asked how he tells how they buzz in. Gary said they're going one at a time. Vinnie was confused. Gary said they talked about this already. They're going one at a time and they're starting off with the fans. Vinnie said he was told something else.
Vinnie said the first question is for Jimmy. Vinnie asked what Gary's nickname was on the show before Baba Booey. It was Boy Gary.
Vinnie asked Howard what title he wanted to use for his book Private Parts. Howard said it was Mein Kampf. He was right.
Vinnie asked John what cable network Son of the Beach aired on. It was FX.
Vinnie asked Gary to listen to a clip of Billy West doing an impression. Gary had to guess who he was doing. Gary said it was Marge Schott and he was right.
Vinnie asked Peter who was nicknamed ''The Night bird.'' Allison Steel was the answer and he got that one right.
Vinnie asked Fred who was banned from the show after punching Stuttering John. Fred said it was AJ Benza and got it right.
Jim was asked ''F-Timmy'' and what type of animal that was. It was a cat. Jim got it right.
Howard was asked what Robin's score was on the narcissism test. Howard said it was 34 and got it right.
Joe was asked what Riley Martin's co-host was in the beginning. Curtis Cooperman was the name but Joe didn't get it.
Howard said Vinnie is screwing this up. They were supposed to give it to Gary to answer. Vinnie asked Gary another audio question. They had Sal apologizing for some racist remarks. Gary said that he was apologizing for saying that white women shouldn't date black men. He got it right.
Peter was asked what the call letters of DC 101 were. They were WWDC.
Fred was asked what Van Halen song is on the Private Parts soundtrack. He missed it and Jim was asked. Jim missed it. Howard got the question and got it wrong too. Joe was asked and didn't know it either. Gary was asked and said it was Jaime's Crying and got it right.
They were very confused about how the game works. They were going back and forth with the whole thing. Vinnie asked Peter what the first name of Benjy's uncle is that he wishes would remain unspoken. it's Detlev. He got it right.
Vinnie said that he had one more 5 point question. He asked what the name of Howard's camp was when he was a kid. It was Camp Welmet. Howard said he had to take a break and explain the game to Vinnie.
Vinnie got back to the questions and said that the fans are down by 5 points. The point value was up to 10 now. Vinnie asked who the original members of The Losers were. Scott, Howard, Fred, Jackie, John Melendez. That was correct. Jimmy answered that one.
Fred was asked what Jackie was apologizing for in this clip. It was his apology to Nancy for the Jessica Hahn incident in the bath tub in Philly. They actually gave the answer in the clip. Jon Hein took responsibility for that.
Joe was asked what sportscaster uttered the words ''Lest anyone think'' during the OJ prank call. That was Al Michaels.
Howard was asked what line Kid Rock used in one of his songs. ''Balls in your Mouth'' was the answer and Howard got it right.
Vinnie asked Peter what producer from the channel 9 show became a mega producer. Mark Cronin was the answer and he got it right.
Gary was asked about Howard's 1997 birthday show someone called in while laying in a coffin. Vinnie said he did not write that one. Gary said that he would say John Debella. Joe said it was Morton Downy Jr. He was correct. They were up to 70 points.
Vinnie had a question for Fred that was an audio clip. He asked what the name of Sal's character was. It was G-Man. He was right.
Vinnie asked Jim which long time guest's private parts were like a snapping gyro. Jim said it was Siobhan. Howard said it was Jessica Hahn. They were up to 75 points and the fans were at 70.
Vinnie asked Joe what the original name of Howard's band Electric Comic Book was. Joe didn't know. Gary said it was The Plumber's Union. He was right.
Peter was asked which fitness guru named Howard's daughter Ashley. Richard Simmons was the answer. He was correct.
Fred was asked who gave him the name Earthdog Fred. Fred said it was Brent. They were wondering why they gave Fred a Fred question. Jon Hein said that he told him not to do that. They disqualified that one and asked Fred another one. They went to the 25 pointers after that. Howard said they had 85 and the fans had 80.
Howard said that the guys can help each other out now. Vinnie asked about Scott driving Robin home on 9/11/2001 and who the other passenger was. The fans guessed that it was Wood Yee or Steve the engineer. Howard said the guys won because they got that one right.
Vinnie said they had another question that they could have asked. The question was about who the first reporter on Howard 100 News was to do a report there on Howard's show. Howard and the guys tried to figure out who it was. They were wondering if it was Penny Crone, George Flowers, Steve Langford or someone else. They said it was Penny but it was George flowers.
Vinnie asked the guys who Howard's running mate was when he was running for governor. Howard had to think about that for a minute. He said he thinks that it's Stan Dwarkin.
Vinnie asked who the celebrity judge was for the Miss Butterface contest in Las Vegas. Howard said it was Joe Rogan. Gary said they did that a couple of times. Gary said he wanted to say it was Rob Schneider. He was right.
Howard said he thinks that they let the fans win. He told the guys they won the $2,500 each and asked what they were going to do with the money. Jim said he might buy an engagement ring. Joe said he will spend it on the baby. Peter said he's going to spend it on his wife for her birthday and maybe some on himself.
Howard thanked Vinnie for hosting even though he almost ruined the whole thing. Vinnie got in some plugs for his HereafterMusical.com web site. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he loves Metallica. He said they were doing that Bob Seger song. Howard he's going to see if he can ruin it by singing along. Howard wondered where Metallica has been. Robin said they must be taking a long break.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was the worst game ever. He said he couldn't understand what was going on and couldn't keep up. Howard said they were talking about it during the break and they had gone through it with Vinnie like 900 times. He said all of the guys there had their wives with them and they were all cheering when they won.
Gary said Sal was shaking while he ran Fred's board. Howard said they had video and Sal was shaking like crazy. He said he must have a medical problem. Howard wondered if he was nervous or if he has a medical condition. Gary said it might be both.
Howard asked Sal what's going on with his hands. Sal came in and said that his dad has had it for a long time. Sal held his hand out and it was shaking like crazy. Sal said that his dad never went to the doctor so he doesn't know what it is. He said his dad eats soup and it looks like an earthquake is going on. Sal said that it's his condition and that he was nervous.
Howard said the only thing Vinnie got right was his plug. Sal said he was a worse host than a show producer.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Vinnie's play isn't too bad. He went to see it. He said they were just reading and performing on stools and it was good. He said it was very emotional. The guy said they felt teary at the play.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that Vinnie is a train wreck but it made it that much more funny. Howard said he almost threw him out a window during the game. He said he has lost a lot of weight though.
Howard said Sal still coughs like crazy and smokes the fake e-cigarettes. He's not doing anything for his health. Howard had some audio of him coughing. He said this is what goes on all day there with him. He played the clip and Sal was coughing like crazy. Howard said he has to stop with the cigarette. Sal said he's going to try to quit. A caller said that Sal has to stop with the e-cigs.
Robin said she thought Sal had a central nervous system thing going on. Sal said the doctor told him it was all in his head. Howard said he must be in such a miserable marriage that he's just shaking from it. Howard said his marriage is really bad. Sal said he's fine. Howard said the irony is that his rap song was ''Shake, Shake, Shake'' and now he shakes.
Howard asked Sal how his wife is doing. He said she was upset the last time he talked about their sex life. He said she told him it was fine but when he said that it's not. She hung up on him. Sal said that his therapist told him not to spy on her anymore so he's not sure if she has any emotional friends.
Sal told Howard that his wife gave him a hand job on a cruise. He said that she just wanted to get it over with. Howard asked if she does anything like kiss him during that. Sal said she pulls it like a lawn mower. He said she has to go easy with that. Howard said he heard that strippers know how to give a hand job. Sal said that he doesn't want to push a hand away but you can't do it when they're touching you. Howard said a lot of girls don't love cock but there are some who suck it like perfection.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the game was funnier than it could have been because it was so fucked up. Howard said maybe it was genius. He said he wishes he had thought of it. Howard said he really did want to throw Vinnie through a window. Sal said his head looks like a bobble head doll. He said they should mount him on a dashboard.
Howard and Shuli goofed on Scott the Engineer since he's on that tour with Shuli and Ronnie. They goofed on him for a few minutes and Howard told him to just cut him out of the whole deal. Shuli said he thinks that Scott will cut himself out of it. Howard did his impression of Scott and said that he really does nothing all day. He claims that he's busy on the weekends but he's really doing nothing when he's home. Shuli said Scott came up with an idea to play ''Lets Get This Party Started'' and he'd run around the room. Shuli thought it was great and Howard TV got footage of it. Shuli said it was the greatest thing ever.
Shuli got back to the Ronnie story and said that they're going to be shooting a pilot soon. Shuli also said they have a story about George Takei coming to the city for the first day of gay marriages.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has been listening since 1994 down there where he lives but he's glad to hear him on Thursday. Howard said he's working his ass off. The caller said he appreciates that. Howard asked Robin if it was really Thursday. He said this was a huge accident and he had to get home.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he thinks Howard is the best interviewer. He said the show yesterday was unbelievable. He said that he had the highest high and the lowest low. He said Denise was the high and Tila was the low. Howard said he maintains that Tila's show will be the number one most viewed show. The caller said it's like a train wreck. He said it's horrible but you have to see it.
Howard said they have a new Behind the Scenes show on Howard TV. Howard said they have some coverage of the Intie Awards and Benjy behind the scenes for the Anthony Weiner press conference. They also have a tour of his office there at Sirius.
The caller was still going off on Tila and explaining why she's so awful. Howard thanked him for the call and took another one. The next caller said he hopes that Ronnie's show flops. He said if Howard doesn't talk about it then they'd drop him. Howard said he can't imagine that Ronnie's ever going to get a show on the air.
Howard played a clip that the guys put together for Ronnie's audition for ''Wheelz.'' Howard played the clip and it was Ronnie appearing on ''Inside the Actors Studio.'' They had Ronnie arguing with the host and calling him an asshole bald bastard and things like that. They had Ronnie taking questions from the audience and telling them to shut up.
Shuli said that Neil Patrick Harris Tweeted about Eric the Actor wondering where he was at the Smurfs movie premiere.
Shuli said that Pete Dominick was saying that Howard Stern is the greatest interviewer ever. He said that on CNN during a discussion about Glenn Beck. Howard let Shuli go a short time later.
Howard told Wheels who won the Superfan contest since he missed it. Howard said they basically gave the contest to the fans. He said they were beating the fans but they gave them that 25 pointer.
Howard said this is actually a repeat and Wheels isn't missing anything. He's not really talking to him right now. Wheels asked if he's doing the 3/4 days a week thing. Howard said he's not going to tell him what his schedule is.
Wheels asked if he beat off to Denise Richards yesterday. Howard said he didn't and Beth wasn't even around. He said he hasn't beat off for two days in a row. He said he's very proud of himself. He went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said he had Jon Favreau on the phone. Howard said he doesn't think this new movie ''Cowboys & Aliens'' can miss. Jon said they went crazy at Comic-Con. He said the crowd went nuts and it was insane. He said that he worked for 2 years on this movie. Howard said he thinks it's going to make so much money. Howard said people should be able to get it.
Howard asked what they're projecting yet. Jon said the tracking comes out today so he doesn't have it yet. He said they're thinking about $40 million. Howard said that's got to be a low ball.
Jon said that the name of the movie is a major part of how people will know it. Howard said he heard that it cost $180 million to make it. Jon said it was actually $163 million. He said that he would like more than 40 million on opening day.
Howard asked if he thinks that it's really not going to do well. Jon said they have a lot of aliens in the movie. He said Jon Hein saw it so he should call him in.
Howard said Jon gave him the hat that Harrison Ford wore in the movie. Jon said that it's the real hat too. He said there is more than one though. He said he's not going down that road with Howard again. Howard said Ralph told him he should have been given one of the wrist bands or one of the guns. Jon said he has a real gun that was shot by Daniel Craig in the movie. He said he has to get him to sign some paperwork.
Howard asked what scene his hat was worn in. Jon said he didn't want to go down that road with him. Howard said Beth tried to put the hat on but it didn't fit her head. Jon asked if he shot her naked in that hat yet. Howard said he hasn't. Jon said he might want to share them with some friends.
Howard said he heard Jon didn't want to do Iron Man 3. He said he did really well with the first two and they made over $1.2 billion combined. Howard said Jon thinks there's too much expectation for the third. Howard said he should have just done it. Jon said he might be right. He said he has done it for four years and he wanted to do something different. Howard said he's been doing the same thing for 30 years.
Howard asked if Robert Downey Jr. will do Iron Man without him. Jon said he will and he'll do fine. Jon said he won't get a piece of the movie either. Jon said the movie business is changing though so no one is making money.
Howard said Jon is working on a Disney movie called Magic Kingdom. Howard said that's very smart. He said that it's the Disney characters coming to life. Howard said a lot of kids are going to go see that. Robin said that will be huge. Howard said he would bank on Jon because he has a lot of great ideas. Jon said that's because he grew up on Howard's show.
Howard asked Jon if he has an idea for a movie that he'll get to make when he's a superstar director. Jon said Fartman. He said that he wouldn't do it if Ivan Reitman wouldn't do it. Howard said he would actually do it with Jon.
Howard asked Jon Hein if he thinks Cowboys & Aliens will be a hit. Hein said that the movie starts off with Daniel Craig and a real element of mystery with it. He said you wait for the payoff with the aliens and it does happen. He said it's a really good movie and the whole thing is pretty cool with Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig. Hein said that he's really good in the movie.
Howard asked why they won't send him a copy of the movie. Jon said he will do anything for him but he has to deal with the studio too.
Hein said that the only issue he has is that Olivia Wilde was only naked from behind. He said that's the only thing. Favreau said he wanted a PG-13 so he had to do that.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he loved the movie. He said Harrison Ford was great in it too. Howard said that Jon didn't want to ask him to do it because it was a supporting role. Jon said he wasn't going to ask because he was told he would turn it down. Jon said that he was afraid it would hurt the project too. Then he heard he might be interested and had some secret meetings with his agent. He said he wanted to know he was going to get a yes answer before he went public with it.
Howard said he heard from Crystal Harris that on movie nights Hef will bring in silent movies and bring in a pianist. Howard said he heard that Jon will do that too. Jon said he has done that but not in his home. Jon said Howard would love it. Howard said he doesn't think so. Jon said he might be right. He might not love it. Favreau said that he took a lot of inspiration from Buster Keaton for the movie Elf. He said he likes those old movies.
Howard told Ralph to give his review. Ralph said the aliens were great and there was a moment in the movie where he jumped out of his seat. He said he was scared for a moment. Howard asked who did the aliens. Jon said he had guys doing that for him and Spielberg was involved. Jon said he was working on Super 8 and Falling Skies at the time too. Jon said that he wanted this to feel like a classic western and a sci-if movie. Ralph told him he did a really good job with it. Howard asked whose idea it was to mix them. Jon said that Ron Howard was a producer and he was involved. He said that it was from a graphic novel from about 10 years ago. He said the writers of Iron Man wrote the first draft and then the guys from Transformers and Star Trek gave it a shot. Jon said that Ron Howard was a big part of getting that all set up.
Jon said the first draft was a comedy and that didn't work for Ron Howard. He said that they had to play it straight and that brought the comedy out. Howard said he agrees. He said you have to keep it real.
Jon told Howard that he asked Harrison Ford about the name of the movie because they were getting some weird feedback about it. He said Harrison thought about it for a few minutes and then said ''Well, what else are we going to call it?'' Howard said he likes the name and it works. He said it's like a play on Cowboys and Indians. Jon said he thinks that they could see more genre mash up type movies after this. He said that's the only way to be original.
Howard asked Jon if he's married. Jon said he is and he has 3 kids. Jon said that he grew up there in Queens and he was supposed to come to his prom in 1984. Howard said he didn't know that. Jon said he was really excited and he wanted him to come to that prom. Howard said he didn't know he was older than Jon. He said at least Jon looks older than him. Jon said he's only 44.
Jon Hein said that Jon Favreau is like a god at Comic-Con. Favreau said that they love him because he brought movies to them. Howard said that he knows he's humble but there are guys in costume asking him goofy questions. Howard did an impression of a guy asking him questions in a C-3PO costume. Ralph said it's really not like that out there. Jon said that he went to the GEEKTIME radio show and there were people waiting to see them. He said Howard has created a monster with that show. He said they were waiting on line to see them.
Ralph said that Jon gave Jimmy Kimmel a wrist gun on his show last night. Favreau said Jimmy is not keeping that. He said that he's going to keep that gun for himself. Howard asked what else he has for him. Jon said he has a gun for him but he can't transfer it across state lines.
Howard said he does appreciate that he sent him that hat. He said that he's pulling for him with this movie and he likes what he's doing with his movies. He said people are enjoying them and he likes that. Jon told Howard to pull up the Kimmel opening they did because it was good. He said he thinks it will play well on radio.
Howard said Jon is a good dude. He let him and Ralph go. Howard said Ralph used to get dressed in costume for Halloween and he would spend months working on his costumes.
Howard played some audio where this host was talking about what Crystal was saying about Hef and not crediting the Stern Show. The awful hosts were joking around like a bunch of idiots. Howard said this is the worst. He said they're playing music and they have a bunch of one liners and laughing at the word zipper. He said this is why it was so easy for him to conquer the morning airwaves. He said that it's a great field if you have any talent at all.
Howard played more from this awful show where they bring up the Crystal Harris story but don't mention it came from his show. One of the morning guys was a black guy and he wondered if all black radio guys have such bad English. Howard said this was like an advertisement not to listen to radio. Howard said that he can't imagine going to a party with those people.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he watched that show and it was the worst show he's ever seen. Howard said that's what the reviewers are saying too. The caller said the show can't last more than a day. He said that guy Scott reminds him of Imus. He said he's an old, wrinkly man. Howard said he tried to say hello to him once and the guy didn't want to talk to him. Howard said he doesn't know what his story is. He said he thinks he may have been good looking at one point and may have ruined it with plastic surgery.
Howard said the discussions go on and on. He played more audio from the bad morning shows where they talk about Hef and Crystal. Howard said he was going to credit them all with that shit. Howard said he's kicked all of their asses in radio. He said he's not there on terrestrial anymore but he has kicked all of their asses.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if it's too early to say no more Artie on the show. Howard didn't get that. The caller said he kind of left like Jackie left. Howard said that's not true. Artie had a problem and Jackie left on his own. The guy said he has six kids and wondered if he could win something in a game. Howard hung up on him.
Jon ran down some more stuff they were going to talk about today. Then Mutt called in and said that he has Joe from today's show coming on with last year's players in the Superfan contest. Mutt said they'll have a bunch of things to discuss on the show this week. Howard said Mutt has a great way of moving things along. Mutt said he doesn't want to waste time. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard played a prank call Sour Shoes made to a pizza place where he did his Gary impression. He was saying the number 9 (noine) over and over and trying to swap books for the pizzas. Sour did his ''I miss you man...'' line with the guy. The pizza guy didn't get the joke. Sour then called back as Tracey Millman. He does a great impression of her too. Then he breaks into his Scott Ferrall and then his Jackie impression. Howard said he's a really talented guy. He's just really out there. Howard said the guy is great.
Howard tired to get Robin into her news again with another song parody by Psyche. Robin gave a shout out to a new show on Showtime called The Green Room. Robin said that Paul Provenza hosts it and he has comedians on talking about comedy and goofing on each other. Robin said you can have belly laughs listening to them talking about their days on the road. Robin said they have great guests and great conversation.
Howard said he thought that's what Jerry Seinfeld did with a couple of guys. JD said that Paul had his show first. He said that it's his second season.
Howard said Vinnie was on the phone and he's blaming the entire debacle on Jon Hein. Howard picked up on him and said he heard he was prepped and he was told the rules. Vinnie said that what he was told did not happen when he walked in the studio. Vinnie said they were telling him there would be buzzers and there were none. Jon said he's right about that. He said that was his mistake. Howard said he doesn't get why they're so fucked up that they don't know that. Vinnie said it was all very confusing the way they did it. Jon said he would take the hit on the buzzer but not on the score and knowing who was next. Jon said Vinnie was staring at Howard too much too. Vinnie said the last time he hosted Howard said he spoke to much. He said he didn't know how it was going to work. Howard said they just wing it there. He said they don't do rehearsals.
Jon also pointed out that Vinnie was showing the answers. Vinnie said they put him in that location and it was too close to both teams.
Howard said the Howard TV guys are working on the next Behind the Scenes thing and they will have coverage of Sour doing his thing at his house in the pool. Robin said she would like to see the whole house. Howard said he thinks that they will be showing that.
King of All Blacks called in and said that he sent his daughter to a camp recently and she came home crying because the black kids there were calling her a little white girl because she speaks so well. He said that's like what Howard was saying about the radio guys who talk so bad. Howard asked if King does that and tries to sound like the black community. King said that's just the way he speaks but there are some people who do that.
Howard said that Sour Shoes' parents wouldn't let the Howard TV guys in the house. He said they just got the back yard then.
Robin got into her news and read a story about some Chinese parents who sold their two kids so they could use the money to gamble online. Robin said they sold the kids and the parents claim they didn't know they were breaking the law.
Robin said a Casey Anthony mask that was up on eBay has sold for close to a million dollars. Robin said the winning bid was $999,900. Robin said the seller claims it was one of 9 masks that were made for a parody video.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes. He asked him why his parents didn't let the guys in the house. He said they had just had their floors sanded. Howard goofed on Steve Langford when he brought up the prank calls the guys made to him using Sour clips. Howard had to hang up on him when Sour just kept singing and playing his keyboard.
Robin read a story about a woman who shot a gun accidentally and shot her daughter. She thought it was a cigarette lighter but it turned out to be a .22 caliber gun. They had to go to break after that.
After the break, around 9:35am, Robin read a story about Michael Douglas smoking again even after he had a about of throat cancer. Robin said that he had previously told a reporter he felt it was stress that caused his cancer. Howard sounded shocked and said it must mean he wants to die. Robin said his wife smokes too. Howard said it can't help that his wife smokes. He said he'd be really upset if he had throat cancer and his wife didn't quit smoking.
Robin read about a poll that was done about God and if people approve of his performance. Robin said that most people do approve. Howard said in their polling Satan beat him by 13 points. Howard said people being god like are good but when people get into this god it seems to cause more problems. They want to kill other people when they get into it. He said he has this theory that God could be a fairy tale. Howard said he's going to hedge his bet and say there is one just in case though.
Robin said the maid in the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case is trying to prove her credibility and she spent hours in the prosecutors office. Robin said that the woman has a history of claiming to have been raped and she has also faked a child for tax purposes. Robin said she has a lot of credibility issues. Robin had some audio of her lawyer talking about the case.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Michael Douglas could have gotten throat cancer from the HPV virus from eating too much pussy. Howard said he could be right. The caller asked Howard if he feels guilty after jerking off. Howard said he doesn't because it's just like shitting or pissing.
Robin read some news about the famine in Nairobi and had some people talking about that.
Robin read about the 9/11 compensation law and how they held a hearing about that last night. Robin said that there are first responders who were at the scene who don't qualify for the fun. Robin had some audio of some people talking about that. Howard said they really do have to help these people out. Robin agreed.
Robin read some news about the debt ceiling issues we have in this country and what's going on with that. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about how Alex Trebek ran down a burglar and now he needs surgery on his Achilles tendon. He injured himself trying to chase the guy down. Robin said that the suspect was arrested. Trebek will undergo surgery tomorrow.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for everything they do there. He said he just got back from his 6th deployment in Iraq and the troops love the show. Howard said he loves the troops too. He said no one is braver than they are. Howard said he calls for all women from around the world to fuck guys like this guy Sarge on the phone. Howard said Mila Kunis should blow that guy who asked her to go to the dance with him. Sarge agreed. Howard said he hopes that Sarge is married to Olivia Wilde. The caller said his wife is the most perfect woman in the world but he appreciates the opportunity. Howard said back in the day the warriors were the ones who got the spoils. He said this guy is the real hero. He told him not to forget it. Sarge thanked Howard and Robin again. Howard said he doesn't have to thank them. He said Sarge deserves the best. Sarge said he's honored to serve his country so he can protect the freedom for people like Howard.
Howard said Robin should blow Sarge. Robin said he's married. Sarge was laughing. Howard said that she really should date a guy like that. Robin said that she didn't say she wouldn't. Robin served in the military. Robin said she did her time. Howard said she served her time in the states. Robin said there was no war at the time.
Howard asked Sarge where he served. He said he was stationed in Anchorage, Alaska. He served in a bunch of places like Iraq, Somalia and others. Howard said he must have killed some enemies. Sarge said he can't say. He said he has seen some fire fights. Howard told him to clap once if he has killed the enemy. Fred played some sound effects and Howard tapped on his mic to make him sound like he had killed a bunch. Sarge said it was a true honor to serve his country. He said he's been retired with PTSD and brain injury. He said he has been shot and blown up and he's seen many of his brothers and sisters lose their lives. He said he was blessed and the good lord was looking out for him. Howard said he deserves Julia Roberts sucking his balls and Angelina Jolie licking his asshole.
Howard asked Gary what they could give this guy. Gary said he didn't have anything. Howard said Sarge should be allowed to pee on Paris Hilton. Sarge laughed. Howard said that he shouldn't be depressed but he's seen death and looked it in the eye. Howard said there must be no better feeling than putting a bullet in the head of the Taliban. Sarge just said ''Yessir.'' Robin said they're saying that Al Quaeda may be on the verge of collapse. Howard said he appreciates this guy Sarge. He said he should be fucking Denise Richards. Sarge said he heard the interview yesterday. Howard said he should be with her himself.
Robin read more about Al Quaeda and how they think they're starting to collapse after all of these attacks. Robin went over some of that and Howard asks Sarge what he thinks about that. Sarge said they should kill them all and let God sort them out. Howard said he's right. Howard said this guy is such a great American. Howard said Natalie Portman should accept a load on her face from him. Sarge laughed. Howard said Jennifer Aniston should get a Dirty Sanchez from him. Sarge's phone crapped out right around that time so Howard lost him.
Robin read some news about the John Gotti movie that Stuttering John is involved with and how they're having some troubles. They've fired and rehired Lindsay Lohan a bunch of times. Now Joe Pesci is suing them for using his name to promote the movie and then they gave him a lesser part. He had packed on 30 pounds for the role too.
Robin read about how Kat Von D had gotten a tattoo of Jesse James on her mid section just before she broke up with Jesse James. Howard said he heard she went on Good Day L.A. and she got up and left when they played some tape of her show where Jesse was on with her. Howard said that they have nothing else to interview her about. Howard played some audio of her walking off the show. In the clip they played video of her getting a tattoo of Jesse James on her and then she got up and walked out of the building. Jillian Barberie was saying that she was just saying she hoped that they wouldn't bring up Jesse with her. Howard said she's an idiot. Howard said no one even cares about her. No one knows who she is. He told her to get a life.
Robin had some audio of Steve Carell talking about how talented Ryan Gossling is in the new movie they're in together. Howard cut that off pretty quickly.
Robin had some audio of Harrison Ford talking about Cowboys & Aliens. Howard didn't last long with that either.
Robin said there's a new Planet of the Apes movie coming out and she thinks the apes look really realistic this time. Howard said that he thinks he's over all of that. Howard said the costumes in the past were awful. He said you could tell who the actor was in the costume. Robin had some audio of some people from the film talking about it. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:05am.
Jon mentioned Sal's shaking and how scary it's gotten lately. Jason said that Sal is sucking poison into his body every day and it's not surprising. He's still smoking those electronic cigarettes and the stuff you put in them has a skull and crossbones on it.
Jon said he wanted to talk about the Ultimate Superfan Trivia contest. Jon said he will take responsibility for the buzzer mistake. He said they had some meetings about how it was going to work and Vinnie came in and said hi to everyone before going through it with him. He said he seemed to have a handle on it but then he told Howard TV he was going to just enjoy it and not take it so seriously.
Gary showed up so he said that Vinnie thought that Howard was going to be the real host and he would just be in there to play along. Jason said that he wasn't even able to keep track of who the next question was supposed to go to. Jason said that Vinnie has been sending in sample questions for weeks and he's not sure where he came up with the story about just finding out about the contest 4 days ago.
Jason said Vinnie also knew that they were playing one person at a time and not asking Fred questions about Fred and things like that.
Jon said that they may have had too many chefs in there too. Gary said they had to fine tune some questions and the game so they got it all squared away and worked it all out. He said that Vinnie spoke to Jason one day and he thought things were all set up. Gary said he trusts Jason and he believed him when he said it was under control. Jason said he felt that way and Vinnie is a smart guy so he's not sure what else he could have done.
Benjy said maybe it was a conspiracy because they had Evil Dave on the show recently. He was just joking and said that he thinks that Vinnie should have had a rehearsal. Gary said they never do rehearsals and Vinnie knows how things work.
Vinnie called in and said that he will take as much blame as anyone else. He said they didn't have a lot of details that they didn't talk about over the past couple of weeks. Vinnie said he knows he choked on a few occasions. Jason said he went over the game point by point with him though. Vinnie said the thing that confused him was the format of it. He said that was flawed. Gary asked if he didn't understand the game when Jason explained it. Vinnie said he just misunderstood it.
Vinnie said he walked into a room and he was distracted by the whole set up in the studio. He said he was thrown off by the smoke in the room. Vinnie said he thought it was cigarette smoke. He said that Sal was smoking that fake cigarette. He said the way they were giving questions was very confusing too. Gary said that no one was partnered. Jon said that they did set it up so they had person 1, 2 and 3 but they weren't partners. He said he can see how he would have gotten confused.
Vinnie said there were the questions too and he misunderstood some stuff there too. Vinnie said that Jon was trying to lay it out for him but there was some confusion. Gary and Vinnie argued about the partner thing. Vinnie said it was very confusing.
Gary kept arguing that there was no tethering people in the game. Vinnie thought they were but Jon said that he misunderstood that. Jon said it was people going in order. Gary said that it must have been in his mind that they were tethered then.
Vinnie said that part of it was his fault. He was trying not to get in Howard's way. Jon said they have a clip of an example of where it might have gone wrong. He had Teddy play the question about Riley Martin's original co-host. Then Vinnie read the answer and didn't pass it to Gary.
After playing that Vinnie and Gary went over what went wrong there. Vinnie said he was very confused by that. Vinnie said it was also a problem with the names of the contestants because he wasn't facing them and didn't know their names.
Jason explained how the game was supposed to work and Vinnie didn't understand how that was working. The way they set the whole thing up was very confusing. Jon said he felt that Jason and Vinnie were actually saying the same thing with the way it was supposed to work and in what order it was going.
Jon also pointed out that the answer for the Jackie apology clip was not in the clip. He said they were accused of leaving it in there but they cut it out. Jon said he took the hit for that but no one said the answer. Jon said they cut that part out. Gary said he swears he heard it.
Jon asked Vinnie what he thought of Gary, Howard and Fred's ability to answer the questions. Vinnie said Gary knows it all but he was shocked that Howard got some of them right.
Jason said that Vinnie did a great job the last time he hosted a game. He said he did good right up until the end with the vinegar and vinaigrette argument.
Jon said when they went to break Howard and Vinnie were chatting up instead of getting ready for the second part of the game. Vinnie said they should have had the questions on index cards instead of those huge ones. Vinnie said that it was fun and the Superfans were really good. He said it was kind of like amateur hour though. He said he has done this before. He did a show on Comedy Central so he knows he can do the job.
Gary said the fans were calling in later saying that it was very funny with all of the screw ups. Vinnie said that he will not listen to the replays or watch it on TV. He got in a plug for his web site HereafterMusical.com before the guys let him go. JD asked if he would rather listen to the Debbie tapes or the game show. Vinnie said this was more embarrassing than the Debbie tapes. Vinnie said Robin was great to him and didn't attack him during the game. Jon let Vinnie go and went to break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it was great having him on. He said they did a great job with it even with the screw ups. Jon asked what he thought of the questions. The caller said that they were okay but some were a little easy. He said that it was Vinnie that made it funny.
Jon said that you want to start off kind of easy and then stick a hard one in there to show you're playing for keeps. Gary asked Jon what his favorite appearance is for Vinnie. Gary said he had one. Jon said it was the Ringo Starr appearance when Vinnie corrected Ringo about something he said. Jon and Gary agreed that was his best appearance.
Jon asked Gary how he felt with the game. Gary said he knew a bunch of answers except that one. Jon said he liked watching Richard and Sal on Fred's board too. Gary said that Fred ran over during the break and said he needed to be there when they were on the board. Jon talked about Sal's shaking and stuff too.
Jon said that the Superfans wives were in the green room and they went nuts when they won. Gary said they were all very nice. He said he thinks they were all in awe of Howard too.
Jon said that JD could go out and make an appearance and just do a meet and greet. Sal said that he has a delivery that people want to see. He said his delivery is like a broken wheel barrow. Sal said that's what people want to see. Gary said he agrees that he could do it.
Benjy asked JD if he would think that he's kind of like Tila Tequila if he went out and made an appearance. JD said he doesn't know. Jon said that JD might be more worthy of the fame than Tila is. JD said he doesn't think he's more talented or anything. He said he might not be.
The caller told him to come up this weekend and he'll give him $1,000. Sal knew the guy and said he's a great guy. He said that Derek is a great guy and he should take him up on the offer. JD said he doesn't know. He said it would take a lot for him to want to leave his house. JD said that he told Shuli 10 grand to go to his show.
Derek told JD to take advantage of these offers while he can. Derek said that they had some fun with Sal and Richard when they had them up. He said they all partied hard at a bachelor party. He said it was cool for his brother to have them at the party. He said it was pretty awesome. Jon asked how much he spent on them. Derek said it was up to Sal and Richard to say. They asked how much they spent total on them. Derek said it was probably between 8 and 10,000.
Benjy asked JD what he would tell Tila if he was a friend of her's. JD said he wouldn't be her friend. JD said he can't fault someone for going out and doing what they do to make money. He said he doesn't like anyone who likes The Jersey Shore. Gary asked what he would do if a hot chick told him that before he got to bang her. JD said that he might play along with it. Sal told him to just play along until he bangs her and then tell her to get the hell out.
Sal asked Derek if he could hook his sister up with JD. Derek said that he could see what he could do. He said she might be up for going out with JD. JD just has to show up. Jon said he'd put him on hold and get his information for JD. They went to break a short time later.
Sal said that he was afraid that he didn't screw anything up today. He said that could have been another train wreck of a thing if he had. Benjy said the same thing happens to DePace. Sal said that DePace told him that it's tremors and he went to the doctor for it but he got the wrong prescription.
Gary told Sal the best thing to do is find a guy with a similar problem and talk to him about not doing anything about it. Sal said ''Alright...'' and then got that Gary was being sarcastic.
Gary said that just because he thinks he has the same thing as Scott doesn't mean it's the same thing. He said it could be completely unrelated. Sal said that things fell apart 2 years ago. He said that ever since then he doesn't know what's going on.
Ralph called in and said he can't wait to hear the Vinnie disaster. Gary said it will not disappoint. He said you can't do this anywhere else. He said that it's going to be fantastic and so will GEEKTIME tomorrow at Noon on Howard 101.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thinks the movie is going to be great just based on the title. Gary said he loves Westerns and he thinks that it's a cool idea. Gary asked Sal if he likes Westerns. Sal did love ''Blazing Saddles'' though. Jon said that Sal lived Blazing Saddles.
Gary said he was talking to Jackson about Blazing Saddles and how funny it was but he had a hard time explaining to him that it was something that they couldn't make today. There's a lot of stuff in there that's not politically correct. Sal said if you want to see Blazing Saddles today just drive through Camden. And on that they had to end the show.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 10:45am.