|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard and the guys were back live this morning. Howard started the show talking about the good time he was having already. He said they're back after a week's vacation. Howard said it's exciting to be back. He's happy to be back and he missed everyone, Fred especially. He asked Fred what he did. Fred said he hung out in the city and cleaned up his apartment. Robin said she didn't know that. Fred said he was able to stay out of Page Six.
Howard asked Benjy what he was up to. Benjy said he was obsessed with Anthony Weiner. Howard said he has some things to say about that. He said he likes Anthony. He said when you're born with that name Weiner you should change it. He said he's all for being proud of your name but Weiner is a different story. Howard said if his parents name was Weiner he'd change it. He said if your name is Weiner you don't do anything involving your penis. He said there were a lot of double entendre headlines for the story about his penis pictures. Howard said he's probably gone through it all and now he's going through it again like he's in high school.
Howard said if you do get caught you have to come clean. Robin said no one ever learns that lesson. Howard said he's not sure what these guys are thinking when they go into politics. Howard said Weiner is a popular guy in New York and he was about to run for mayor. He said he obviously doesn't want to be the mayor. He must not want to be in politics either. Howard said it can't go well.
Howard said he's a radio DJ and if he got caught in a scandal it's no big deal. He said he would never do anything like that though. He said when he was single he had women tell him to send a picture of his cock and he would ask himself if he was fucking crazy. Howard said he would never do that. Howard said he's fine with people seeing his cock but it can only lead to trouble.
Howard and Robin talked about how easy it is to send out messages the wrong way and they end up in public. Robin did that with a personal note once. She sent it out on Twitter and she meant to send it out in email. She said you really have to know where you are.
Howard said guys do weird shit with their cocks. Robin said it's apparently every guy too. It doesn't matter if you're a kid in high school or the President of the United States.
Howard said his kids tell him that he scares them. He said he just tells them the truth. He said he's not sure why they would leave the house. He tells them to stay home. He said you really can't trust anyone.
Howard said he took some notes over vacation. He said he has copies of The Bachelorette ahead of time so he was watching that. He said he was disappointed in the choice for the Bachelorette. He said he was 2 episodes in and got 3 and 4 ahead of time. He was going to stop watching after the second one but the third one is the most mind blowing episode he's ever seen. Howard said he will recommend to Robin that she watches it. He said she will go out of her fucking mind. Howard said there's a guy on the show who is Satan. He said she has to see how crazy it is.
Howard said he's afraid for the life of the Bachelorette. He said she's going to watch this and she's going to jump out of a window. He said it's fucking crazy. Robin said she has to see it now. Howard said he saw ''I Am Number Four'' and Robin recommended that to him. He said he has to thank her for that with this suggestion.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel had a good show on the other night. He had Chaz Bono on and he did a good job with her. Howard said he had the group Ramstein on his show and they were good too. He said they covered a song and it was great. He said they were lighting people on fire and putting them out. He said it looked like there was going to be an explosion. He said at one point a guy came out in a hoodie and they lit him on fire. JD came in an said he could find the clip but he wanted to talk about the lead singer and how he had a light in his mouth so when he sings there's a beam of light coming out of his mouth. Howard said it was wild. He said he really enjoyed that performance. Fred found the song a few seconds later so he played it for Howard.
Howard said they performed the song in German. He let the song play for a few seconds and Robin said that she might have to sneak on to their tour bus. Howard told Robin to get into it. Robin knew the song. She said she's heard it before. It was their song ''Du Hast.'' Howard let the song play through and described what was going on in the video.
Howard said Jimmy had Carson Daly on his show too. He said they used to work together apparently. Howard said Jimmy used to torture Carson on his radio show all the time. Howard said he might get some clips of that to play.
Howard said there were a couple of deaths while they were gone. That seems to happen all the time. Howard said people think it's a curse caused by the show. Howard said Gil Scott Heron died while they were away. He played some of Gil's ''Whitey's On The Moon'' song. Howard talked about that for a minute.
Howard said there were more deaths while they were away too. He said that the real crying shame is this guy that a lot of people didn't know about. His name was Elmer G. Pratt and he was a member of the Black Panther party. He said they used to scare the shit out of white people. Howard said this guy was a Vietnam vet and he did two tours of duty for this country. Howard said people always say you should respect the soldiers. He said that this guy got into the Black Panther party because he liked that they were feeding kids who didn't have food. Howard said Elmer was brought in on charges of doing a stick up and he was accused of going into a convenience store and he was pinned with the crime even though there was no evidence against him. He said that they had an informant who worked for the police. Howard said the guy ended up in prison for some ridiculous amount of time. Robin said he was denied parole 16 times. Howard said when he finally got out of prison he got 4 and a half million dollars. He said that the guy moved to Tanzania and lived out the rest of his life there.
Robin said he went to jail in 1972 and got out in 1997. Howard said he would do the math and figure it out. Howard did his math and figured that it was 25 years in jail. Howard said he died at 63. He wished that he had lived another 20 years or more. Robin asked how many years he lived after getting out of jail. Howard did his very long math again and figured out it was 114 years. Robin told him to start again. It was more like 14 years.
Howard said that's something. He said he died while they were away and there were more. Howard said the other guy who died was Jack Kervorkian. Howard said he died at 83 and did some prison time too. Howard said he cared enough about his patients to go against the law. He said that people die from Lou Gherig's disease and it's slowly suffocating people. He said that Jack Kervorkian came out of the closet and said it was okay to kill people if they wanted to die. Howard said this was a great man and he should be honored. Robin said he didn't kill his patients. He heard from people and didn't do any screenings. Robin said she read about this over the weekend. Howard said he read that he did do screenings. Robin said he did a lot to hurt and help the movement of assisted suicides. Howard said he might have killed a couple that shouldn't have been but he still approves of what he was doing. Howard said he thinks the guy is a hero.
Howard said James Arness died too. Robin missed out on that one. She had no idea. Howard said he was on Gunsmoke. He said that his little brother was Peter Graves. Howard said James was 88 years old. Howard went over his career and said that he got into show business and became John Wayne's sidekick. Howard said he got lucky and had a sidekick in Gunsmoke who was someone famous. Robin was trying to figure out the name but she couldn't come up with it. It was Dennis Weaver.
Howard said this guy got on Gunsmoke and it was the longest running show on TV until it was beaten by which show? Robin thought it was Bonanza or Beverly Hillbillies. Howard asked Gary if he knew. Gary said it's ''The Simpsons.'' Robin didn't know what Howard was asking her.
Gary asked Howard if that was his three dead because someone else died. Jeff Conaway died too. Howard said he was one of the few who predicted an early death for him. Howard said he predicted it back in the Taxi days.
Robin asked Howard if he watched Gunsmoke. Howard said he wasn't into it that much. Robin said she watched it all the time. She talked about some of the sidekicks he Arness had on the show. Howard didn't know them so Robin went through a bunch of them. Fred knew a lot about the show so he helped her out with that.
Howard said he got a letter over vacation and he wants to book this guy. He's a regular listener who wrote in about how he fell in love with a 17 year old student at the age of 43. He said that he's now married after losing his whole family. Gary said he got the letter and thought it was very funny. Howard told him to book the guy on the show.
Howard said he heard that Gary the Retard lost his dad over vacation too. Howard said he didn't know his dad was still alive. He said that was too bad. Robin said her friend Sheila died too. She said that was her friend for 25 years. Robin said that didn't have anything to do with the show though.
Howard read more about the pets they tested and found a dog that could tap out answers for math problems. Howard read a little more of the article and read about a dog that learned foreign languages and things like that. Howard said this has to be a joke. He said someone must be goofing on him.
Howard read more of the article and thought for sure it was fake. He said it must be from The Onion. Benjy had found the article and said he thought it was real. Howard read a bunch of ridiculous things about these dogs and it had to be a fake article. Robin said she's not buying it.
Howard said they did have that dog that was the lead singer of Caninus. Fred played a little bit of their music. Howard cut that off pretty quick.
Robin said she was at the airport and they had a beagle there who was wearing a police uniform. She said he was sniffing luggage and she has to question it because he tagged some luggage but they didn't do anything. Robin said they just gave the dog treats.
Howard played a prank call that Sal and Richard made to a pizzeria using dog barking clips. They said they had trained the dog to dial 9-1-1 and trained it to order pizza. They just played barking sounds for the guy taking the order.
Howard said he went to a hotel and brought a banana home with him and a beagle sniffed that out in his luggage once. Robin said the beagle was smelling her at one point. She said that some people are afraid of dogs and that could be a problem. Howard said his dog puts her nose in people's crotches. Howard said he doesn't know what to do about that.
Howard said he read about a pedophile getting arrested for using a computer in an Apple store. Howard said he's not allowed to use his own so he went to the store and tried it. Howard said the cop who caught him saw the guy on the computer. He knew the guy and recognized him. He went up to the computer to see what he was doing and he went on the web to find his current status and busted him. Robin said that's the only reason he was caught. Howard said he was on probation and wasn't supposed to be using the internet at all.
Howard said he had a clip of a woman who taught her dog to have sex with her. He said they found that on the internet or something. He played that real quick and said he had to take a break.
Howard said they have another Superfan Trivia challenge show going on. You can find out more at SiriusXM.com/Howard
Howard said he had a lot of things to get to today. Robin mentioned that one of the Al Quaeda guys died while they were away. Howard said he was in line to replace bin Laden. Howard said the guy probably figured he had nothing to worry about being number 57 in line. Howard said he thought they had killed Zach Galifianakis when he saw what the guy looked like. Robin said they got him with a drone attack. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he didn't know that Rolling Stones song. Fred said it was pretty big. Howard said he didn't like it.
Howard said some other people died while they were away. This guy Andrew Gold died. He played some of his music and said he used to play his stuff when he was starting out in radio. Howard said he liked this song ''Oh What a Lonely Boy.'' He said he had another hit too. Fred said it was a theme to a TV show. It was ''Thank You for Being a Friend.'' Robin didn't know which show it was. Howard guessed it was ''Golden Girls.''
Howard said he never watched Golden Girls or Maude that much. He said he did see some of the shows. Fred said that Lawrence Eagleburger died too. He worked for a bunch of Presidents going back to Nixon. Howard said he got that guy confused with that guy Eagleton who had to back out of running for Vice President because he had electro shock therapy. Howard said he was going to run with McGovern. Howard said that guy wasn't going to win anyway but he could have told him that he had electro shock therapy.
Howard said that Geraldine Ferraro was another nightmare. He said that she should have told Mondale what was going on in her life. Howard said sometimes you just have to say no.
Howard said Bernard Kerik is another one. He said sometimes you have to keep your mouth shut and just say no. He said he knew enough to back out of running for Governor. He said he could have won that election. He said they probably would have hung him if he had won. Howard said he wanted to fill the potholes with the ashes of people they executed. Howard said he was out of his mind back then. He said the courts make so many mistakes that he's not for the death penalty anymore. He said the DNA testing has ruined everything. He said they should outlaw that and just go back to killing people. He said the DNA testing ruined it all.
Howard asked Lisa what she has for them. She said they have a story about Gary the Retard's dad and how he lost his battle with cancer. Lisa said Gary told them that he talked to his dad a lot. Howard said he doesn't believe that. Lisa said she thinks that the dad lived not too far away from him. Lisa said that Gary has also stopped smoking and he still has his cough. Howard asked if he was sad. Lisa said he was.
Robin said dogs have the ability to get upset. She said that asking if Gary could get upset was sad. Howard said he doesn't know how they react to things like that. He said he's never really hung out with Gary or Wendy that long.
Lisa said that JD went to Florida for vacation. He also reached 100,000 followers on Twitter. Lisa said that JD ate some alligator down in Florida. Howard ended up goofing on JD about that for a minute. Lisa said that JD says his life has not changed since he got his 100,000 followers. He's still bothered that Ronnie is verified and he's not. Howard asked if JD has the ability to show emotion if someone dies.
Howard said he thinks that JD is friendless and he goes to visit his family and they make him eat alligator. JD came in so Howard asked him some questions about that. Howard said the only evidence that he was in Florida is his nose being red. JD said that was from the Mets game he went to the other day. Howard asked if he was in a bathing suit down in Florida. JD said he didn't go to the beach down there. He said it was all inside stuff.
Howard asked JD some questions about his mom and step-dad. JD wasn't saying much. They were wondering why his mom married a guy from Hawaii and doesn't live near the beach.
Howard asked if his mom mumbles like him. JD said his dad mumbles. JD said that his mom is very talkative and her husband is kind of quiet. Howard did an impression of JD's mom asking him if he has friends and things like that. He had JD mumbling his answers to her.
Howard asked if he really ate alligator. JD said he was the one who ordered it. He said that he thinks it was real alligator. Howard asked where in Florida he was eating alligator. JD said he wasn't sure they would want him saying where it is. He said he thinks the place they ate might be called RJ Gators or something like that. Howard asked what else was on the menu. JD said it was seafood.
Howard asked JD if he likes his step-dad. JD said he's alright. Howard did his JD impression talking to his mom again. He had him telling her he has 100,000 Twitter followers and had her not understanding a word he was saying. Howard said he doesn't feel bad for his mom since she walked out on him. Howard said maybe it's because she couldn't understand a word he was saying. Howard said he's like Frankenstein.
Howard asked JD about his trip and how long that lasted. He said he was back on Tuesday. Howard asked what he did when he got home. JD said he was at work or at his apartment. They went to a Mets game the other day too. He said he went with Will, Jason and some other guys. Howard said it's good he has friends at work at least.
Howard wondered if that song they played earlier was about JD. He played it again and said they should write one for JD. They listened to the lyrics and figured the song wasn't about JD at all. Howard said he was happy to see JD and he was glad he had a good time with his mom. Robin asked how the gator was. JD said the gator was kind of strong. It was deep fried so of course it tasted good. Fred, as JD, said he had deep fried wallet and it tasted good.
Lisa got back to her news preview and read about how Ronnie the Limo Driver was in the middle of a mess on Twitter. Howard said he knew about that. Janks tricked Ronnie into thinking that he was a hot chick and he ended up being Ronnie's Hot Chick of the Week. Howard said Janks contacted Ronnie and sent him a picture of a beautiful woman and told him he wanted to be Hot Chick of the Week. As soon as Ronnie posted the picture Janks changed the picture to a dude. Howard said just changing the picture is amazing. He said it sounds ingenious.
Ronnie came in and said that Janks' picture was a body at first. He said there was no face. Ronnie said he had to see her face so he got the picture and it looked good to him. Howard said Ronnie is trying to find some hot chicks to help out. He becomes their mentor in a way.
Ronnie said as soon as he posted the link on Monday he went on the profile and it changed from the picture he had sent to Nicole Bass in a bikini. In the bio it said that he had been pranked.
Howard said he knows that Janks is broke but it seems it's very time consuming to do this. Janks was on the phone and said that he created the fake profile and puts pictures on there. Ronnie told him he has no life. He said he was pissed off at first but the only thing that pissed him off is that he called him a dumbass. He said that Janks' whole life is sitting at home doing this stuff. He said he's not sure how he can call him a dumbass. Janks said he never called him a dumbass. Ronnie told him to get a real job and put this to good use.
Janks said that Ronnie now has a research team checking into the profiles. It's actually JD helping him out with the research.
Howard said Ronnie went out to his TV show meetings over vacation. Howard said he's in heavy talks to do a couple of TV shows. Ronnie said the sitcom is based there but the other show is based in L.A. but they would shoot it there.
Howard said when Rosie got hired she had to go to Chicago to do her show. Howard said Ronnie won't do that. He said he's staying right there.
Janks said that Ronnie was retweeting his comments about how she likes her men to smell like baby powder and things like that. Ronnie said he was trying to make it seem like he was doing inappropriate things with this fake chick but he didn't. Ronnie said he was trying to find out if the girl really wanted to do it. Howard asked Ronnie if he really wants the chicks to get the word out there and things like that. Ronnie said these girls are trying to build modeling careers and things. Janks said that he was getting a lot of followers from Ronnie's retweets. He said he has a lot of followers himself and that helps.
Ronnie said that the first chick he put up there went from a couple hundred followers to like 10,000. He said it helps their web sites and things like that. Ronnie said he's just helping them out and they're not coming on to him or anything like that.
Howard asked how Janks was able to fool him. Ronnie said he had a couple hundred followers already and he thought it was a real girl. Janks said he had a lot of pictures up there and they were different chicks. Ronnie said he looks for the unknown girls on there. He said that the girl for next week only has like 7 or 8 followers. He said he's sure there will be more fakes out there. Howard said it would have been even funnier if Janks had posted a picture of his cock instead of Nicole Bass.
Ronnie said he doesn't believe anyone anymore. He said that the girl who is up there now is real and she's good. He said that this girl got two weeks since Janks pranked him. He said he has a crack research team now so he won't be fooled again.
Howard asked Janks if he's going to try and fool him again. Janks said he won't. Ronnie said he knows that there will be more and they'll probably be Janks' friends. Howard said people love busting Ronnie's balls. Ronnie said Janks was calling everyone to tell them about his prank. Howard said that Ronnie has become a Twitter maniac. He said he's on there all the time. Ronnie said he got the sitcom thing through Twitter. Janks joked that it was another prank through him but Ronnie said he had a meeting with those guys so he knows it's not him.
Janks got in a plug for his Twitter which is @KingCranks before Howard let him go.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said he wanted to talk about what an asshole Ronnie is. Howard ended up cutting him off saying that he's glad these guys are doing the Twitter thing since he's barely on anymore. Howard said he just has people telling him what an ass he is.
Jeff got back to Ronnie and said he doesn't rip on Ronnie that much. Ronnie said he knows what he's posted stuff about him. He said he calls him an asshole on there. He said that he brings up the 28 year old he's dating and calls her a whore. Ronnie said he knows who Jeff is on there and he knows what he's been posting. Jeff said he's JeffTheDrunk1 on there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it was SternFanJS and told Ronnie that he got had and he was posting those creepy DM messages to that girl. Ronnie said they weren't creepy. He was just asking questions. The caller said Ronnie is a douche bag. Ronnie said he's sure he'll be at the Pennsylvania show.
Ronnie said he's doing another show and he thinks that Scott should be there too. He said they were booked to do it and it was supposed to be him, Shuli, Yucko and John Tole. He said Scott wasn't involved because they couldn't afford to pay him. He said Shuli called him about it and he was thinking that Scott should be part of it because it was his idea. Ronnie said after all that went down there they didn't book him. He said that he thinks that they should book Scott for the show and they'll give him their money. Scott is in now.
Howard said they started the band ''The Losers'' because Scott was in it but they kicked him out of it. That's what happens with Scott.
Howard said he tweeted out a picture of Beth with her belly button showing. He said 99 percent of the people are cool but then he gets some weird tweets. He said that people say he's sick for posting them. Howard said he gets requests to post pictures of her all the time and when he does he gets these creepy guys telling him it's wrong. He said he doesn't write them back but he'll answer some questions on Twitter and people will say all he does is answer questions. He's not sure what people want.
Bobo called in and said that he has to stop listening to the people on Twitter. He said he loves when he Tweets pictures of Beth on there. Howard said he was going to Tweet a bunch of great pictures but he stopped when he had those people questioning him. He said he doesn't want to have that.
Howard said he had people telling him to go back to work instead of Tweeting pictures. He said that's why he won't do it anymore. Robin said she gets that from people too. Howard said he had mentioned they had a guest coming in soon and he had people going off on him for promoting the show on there. Howard said he got yelled at all over the place. He said he gets very affected by it. Robin said she does too. She said she didn't Tweet about watching Tennis this time because she got such a violent reaction from the fans. Ronnie said he'll tweet out that they have a great gust coming in but he won't say who it is.
Bobo told Howard to get Beth to put in a belly button ring. Howard said they're not hot. He said that's why Bobo thinks that his hair piece is good. He thinks that a belly button ring is cool. He said it's such a beautiful thing and there's no reason to ruin it. Bobo said he likes that follow up picture that Howard sent after the belly button shot. Howard said that's all going to stop now.
Bobo asked what happened to the 4 year old's birthday party. Howard said he hasn't done that yet. He said there are going to be two kids turning 4 so it's going to be a lot of 4 year olds there. Howard said he just wants to do one party to see what it's like. Bobo said he would like him to do a shoot for him.
Gary said that Bobo called Wayne Siegel and got hooked up with a car. Gary said that he told them that he worked for the show. Howard said a lot of people do that. Howard said they will have Mike Walker on the show again. He wrapped up with Lisa G and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he saw a story that really caught him off guard. He said that A-Rod dumped Cameron Diaz over vacation. He said that he got tired of fucking her and she keeps doing that. Howard said she is gorgeous but guys get sick of her. Howard said that she goes out with guys who are just sampling. Howard said she has no ability to pick a guy who is willing to settle down. Robin wondered why she would go through the aggravation of the whole thing when you know he's going to dump you.
Howard said any guy who wants Cameron Diaz doesn't really want her for any period of time. Howard said he knows a guy who would marry her and stay loyal but she doesn't want that. Robin said she wants the unattainable guy. She said that she thinks she should have Justin Timberlake of A-Rod.
Howard said Bobo wants to tell them that he didn't tell Wayne Siegel that he worked for the show. Bobo said he didn't tell them he works for them. He said that he just said he was a big fan. Then they called Gary and asked who it was. Gary said Wayne called him and said that Wayne was told that he had said he worked for the show. He got his name and they figured out it was Bobo.
Howard said when Gary talks he hears Sour Shoes' impression now. He said that he really does sound like him. Howard played a prank call that Sour did to a store where he did his Gary impression and it was amazingly like Gary's voice. In the call Sour does Gary's ''Take me Back'' tape lines. He sounded just like him. The guy hangs up on him and Sour calls back as Tracey Millman and Scott Ferrall and then as Jackie the Joke Man. Howard said that guy is an amazing talent. Robin said it's his marketing that they question.
Howard said he doesn't think that country music is all that good and Eric heard that and wanted to defend it. He said that Eric says he won't do the show anymore but he'll call and leave voice mails. Howard said it's no different than calling in. He played some of Eric's voice mail where he goes off on him about country music. Eric started off going off on Howard for taking a whole week off for Memorial Day. He said that it's not ''Memorial Week.''
Howard said he saw this movie that Kevin Bacon did for HBO and he thought it was fantastic. He said he was laying in bed crying watching that. Howard said Kevin was in there promoting the new X-Men movie but he hasn't seen that yet. Howard said he has to carve out some time to see that. He said that Beth isn't into seeing it. Robin told him the movie is great. They spent a little time talking about that. It was number one at the box office but it didn't do as well as the other X-Men movies. Robin said it's worth the trip.
Howard said Kevin Bacon did an excellent job in that movie ''Taking Chance.'' He said it was incredible and beautiful. He said he wanted to email Kevin and tell him what he thought but he doesn't have an email address. He's not sure if the phone number he has is still good either. He said he just bailed on the whole project trying to get in touch. He said maybe he'll get word about how he feels about all of that.
Howard got back to Eric the Midget and said he's still calling into the show, he's just calling into the show in a different way.
In the voice mail Eric said he's not calling into the show. He said that it's not an indication that he's coming back. Howard said he is back. This is one of 6 messages he left that day. He said he left six, long messages. Howard played more of the clip and Eric was talking about country singers and how Howard said they have mediocre voices. Eric said his opinion is ignorant. He said country singers don't have mediocre voices. Howard cut that off and said that Eric is so boring. He said that he's arguing about country singers. Robin said he's calmly telling him his objections over the phone.
Howard said his computer flashed to the beginning of the message. He said he'd have to start it over. Howard said he had 6 messages though so he could play another one. Robin said it must have really bothered Eric. Howard played a second message where Eric was talking about the country fans and how they buy CDs. Ticket sales for concerts are also bigger.
Howard said he can tell that Eric is itching to get back on the air. He's been calling the Spice channel there. He said they have different porn stars that he's in love with so he's been calling them. Howard said he's in love with Sunny Lane. He had a 6 minute long call to Sunny Lane that Eric made. Howard said he loves Eric because of how boring he is when he calls in. Howard said Eric is just dying to get back on the air.
Howard played some of that call where Sunny took his call on Spice radio. Eric had met Sunny at the Bunny Ranch a couple of years ago. Howard pointed out that was thanks to him. Eric and Sunny talked for a few seconds and then Eric asked her about adult expos around the country and if there will be one in San Francisco. Howard said he has a way of asking questions that no one has any interest in. Howard said Eric can't be thinking about that. Robin said he's wondering if they're near him. Sunny told Eric that there used to be one out there. She told him they held it at the Cow Palace out there but it was shut down.
Howard said she apparently did know something about that question. Eric said he was hoping there would be one close by so he could go. Howard said that there isn't one out there but Eric is arguing that he wants one. Sunny told Eric that they don't have any plans right now. She said she'll let Eric know if she hears anything.
Howard asked Robin if she wanted more. Robin said she loves it. She wanted to hear more. Howard wondered what was wrong with Sunny for keeping him on the line so long. Eric told Sunny he stopped calling the Howard Stern Show. Howard said he stopped like a year ago and that's what's new in his world. Eric said he doesn't like the nickname and the fans of that show were too verbally abusive toward him. He said he got tired of dealing with that for the last 8 years. Sunny said that she was on the show once and she was asked to say some stuff that she was against. Howard asked what she was against. He didn't remember having her in. Robin said she said something about Rich wanting her to say some stuff. She said that Rich is the guy from the Bunny Ranch. Robin said she thinks that she is the one who banged Eric at the Bunny Ranch.
Howard said this is Eric's world and he's not sure how anyone puts this on the radio. He said satellite radio should be banned. This stuff shouldn't be on the air.
Howard played more of Eric's call to Sunny Lane. She was telling Eric what a great guy he is and Howard said he's such a negative guy. Sunny told her that she was a fan. Eric asked her when she's going to be at the Ranch again. Sunny said she would be there in June. She said she's not sure after that. She has some movies she's working on so she's not sure when she'll be back again. Howard said that she's not raring to get back to fucking guys she can't stand.
Eric told Sunny that he sent her a direct message so she has his contact information. Sunny said she can email her at her web site instead. Gary said they were trying to get her on the show because she's managed by her parents. Gary said he thinks that Rich is the guy who works at the Bunny Ranch but he's really not sure what she's talking about.
Howard said he misses Eric. Robin said she loves Eric. Howard said Eric tends to fade during the conversations. Sunny asked him if he likes the Spice radio. Eric said he does and he didn't have much more to say. Sunny thanked him for calling in and Eric said ''Thank you.''
Howard said Eric is leaving them a lot of messages. He said that they're very long winded and about country music. He's lecturing them about country music. Howard said he was debating on whether or not to play them and he knows the fans don't want to hear it. Robin said the fans must be missing him by now. Howard said he's not sure about that.
Howard played a little more of Eric's country music arguing and telling Howard he has fans who love country music and he has to remember that. Howard said he doesn't really care. He said they can turn the radio off if they don't like what he's saying. Howard said that they play these messages and no one is even listening. They wait to hear a gem in there but he just drones on and on and on.
Howard played more of Eric's arguments and he was pointing out some of his guests who have started out in country or moved to country music. Howard said this was message 3 and there was still 4, 5 and 6. Eric was talking about Howard talking about cowboy hats and thinking that they wanted to lynch people. He said that's not an accurate thing.
Howard said his basic assumption is that Eric is calling the show in an indirect way. Robin said he's calling in his arguments and Howard can't talk aback to him. Howard said he is talking back to him now.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to play the phone clip of Carrie Underwood talking to Eric. Howard said that's a classic. Howard said that was quite a call. He said Eric thought he was talking to Carrie and she was telling him to have phone sex. Howard played the call. In the call they put a woman on the phone playing the part of Carrie and she asked Eric if he likes dancing and then asked him if he is small in the pants. She said his voice is so sexy that she was getting moist. She asked Eric if he was at least 3 inches. Eric said he's pretty sure he's bigger than that. She asked if he had ever been stepped on in a large crowd or if he was ever mistaken as a leprechaun. She asked him to start rubbing himself for her. She had him saying ''de plane, de plane...'' She said that turned her on. Then she told him to rub his Smurf cock on the phone and he did it. She told him to say he wanted to fuck her. He did that too.
Howard said that Sal and Richard went to a Lady Gaga concert and her fans are very loyal. He played one of the interviews they did with a gay guy who had an orb on his head. The guy told them what he was wearing and how he was inspired by Lady Gaga.
Sal and Richard asked the guy what he'd be willing to do to meet Lady Gaga. He was willing to do just about anything they asked him. He said he would get a tattoo on his forehead saying ''I Love Osama bin Laden'' on his forehead. He said he'd even follow her if she was a member of Al Quaeda or the KKK. The guy said he does admire Team Six more than Lady Gaga when they asked him about that.
Sal and Richard got another guy and asked him what he'd be willing to do and how much he admires her. He said he admires her more than Team Six. He doesn't believe she even has a colon to go to the bathroom with.
Howard said that was pretty amazing. Robin said it must be great for her to have such loyal fans. Howard said the guys asked who has had more of an impact on pop culture and one guy said it was Lady Gaga. The guy said that Howard doesn't have fans dressing like him and waiting on line for days to see him. Howard played some more clips and everyone was saying that Lady Gaga has had more of an impact.
Robin said that they're going to be surprised when she shows up in there. Howard said Gary called him about that. He said that they postponed her again. He said that they're just blowing them off. Howard said he has a $500 bet with Gary that she will never show up. Gary said that they have booked her for July. Gary still thinks that she'll show up. Gary said he's still in talks with them and he even told her people that Gayle King doesn't have the listeners they have. Howard said he's pretty sure that Gayle King has zero listeners. He said they're talking about giving her more money for that channel too. He said they're willing to do that for 3 listeners.
Gary said he has been talking to management and they're still in talks. He said he had Larry King booked for the show but then they canceled and stopped talking to him. Howard said he knew that was going to happen. He told Gary that they would do that. He said that Larry is all freaked out by him and he's not sure why. Robin said that's because Howard is going to ask him about everything.
Howard said Lady Gaga is going to perform on Gayle King's show. He said that she's just going to do that same kiss ass, lame fucking interview. He said that Gayle is a nice woman but she hasn't lit the entertainment world on fire.
Howard said Larry should just come on the show and come clean. He said he likes that Gayle King is getting a big interview. He said Gayle King is the Ronnie The Limo Driver of the Oprah Winfrey world. He said that's like Lady Gaga going on GEEKTIME with Ralph.
Howard said that Sarah Palin went out and told this story about Paul Revere that was all wrong. He said that she told this story about how he was busy trying to do that thing where he was warning the British that they were coming. Howard said she was talking about him ringing bells. Howard said they got a hold of her afterward and she insists she wasn't wrong. Howard said she says that was one of those ''gotcha'' questions like the one that Katie Couric asked about ''what do you read.'' Howard said that's not a gotcha question. It's a question that's easy to answer.
Howard said that Sarah Palin is a fucking idiot. He said she doesn't know to just keep her mouth shut. She didn't have to answer that Paul Revere question. Howard said his father told him to keep his mouth shut when he's asked something he doesn't know about. Howard said this woman is insane and she's a crazy woman. Howard said when she answers that Paul Revere question she sounds like a beauty pageant contestant answering a question. He said maybe her head is frozen.
Howard played the audio of Palin telling her version of the Paul Revere story. Howard said that she was on FOX News and Chris Wallace asked her about it and she side stepped the whole thing. Palin denied messing up her story. She said that she told the story correctly. She explained what she told and told the story like she had been coached on what to say this time.
Howard said she's like a Miss Teen USA. He played a clip of a Miss Teen USA screwing up and giving a BS answer when she was asked why so many American's can't find the US on a map. Howard said that girl was gorgeous too, just like Sarah Palin. Howard said there isn't that much difference between her and a pageant contestant. Howard said people tell him that they're all for Sarah Palin and he just doesn't get it. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he hasn't seen that show Jewel is on. Howard said she's on with Kara Dioguardi. He said he's watching ''The Voice'' but he's not sure how many more he can watch. Howard said she's unfortunately pregnant. He said he'd still bang her though. He said he'd do it even with the baby in there. He said he'll only bang her up until the 8th month.
Howard wondered if he could be as good on guitar if he played for 3 months straight. Robin said he should try it.
Howard said he had to play these Wolfie clips. He played one where Wolfie asked a bunch of people on the street about this slavery reinstatement in Texas (that doesn't actually exist). The people he was asking were thinking it was real and they had a lot to say about something that didn't exist. One guy said they have to look that bill over and think about redoing it in some other way. Howard said they all thought they had read it in the paper even though Wolfie was making it up.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Howard noticed he was wearing a button down shirt instead of one of his sports shirts as usual. Jon said he got stain on his shirt so he had to wear this one. Howard said he looks handsome but he has the urge to take a magic marker and write ''GIANTS'' on the shirt or something. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show.
They ended up talking about Anthony Weiner and the picture he allegedly sent out. Howard said the whole thing is idiotic and he believes that he sent that picture out. He said he should have changed his name. He said he's all for ethnic pride and all but he should have changed his name to Wine or Belvedere. Howard said he could have changed it to Penis if he's so into it. Howard said the headlines are insane. He said he likes the guy but he has zero chance of recovering from this.
Robin said Weiner is hiding from the public right now. He usually goes out to these gay pride parades and things like that but he's been avoiding them. He says he wants to spend more time with his family. Robin told Howard that Bill Clinton officiated Anthony Weiner's wedding. Howard wondered what he was thinking.
Howard said the worst thing to do is try and cover something like this up. He said he should have just admitted what he did. Howard said you can't lie when you're in public office. He said he should come on his show and talk about this. He said he could reveal all and get it off his chest. Howard said he knows the guy and he knows he was roommates with Jon Stewart. Howard said Jon did a really funny bit on The Daily Show where he had the Pope on one shoulder and the devil on another arguing about how to deal with the whole Weiner story.
Howard asked Robin what was in the news. Robin said the Bobby Fischer documentary is on tonight. Howard said he saw it. He said you don't need to know chess. He said it's about the wacky life of Bobby Fischer.
Robin had some news about the new Bachelorette show and how the next episode is the most shocking ever. Howard said he told her about that earlier. He said he's never seen anything like it. Howard said this guy is Satan. He said he's a man and he's never said anything like that. Howard said the woman is going to want to hang herself when she sees this. Howard said he's not sure what the guy was thinking either. He said he's going to be hated by women.
Robin read about Katie Couric and how she's supposed to announce what she'll be doing next. Robin said that there will be a special about Sarah Ferguson on Oprah's network today.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she's pissed about Sirius XM sending out an email about Lady Gaga going on Gayle King's show. She said it's bullshit that they're promoting her show. Mariann said that there are no fans like Howard's fans.
Howard took a call from Erica the Gymnast who hasn't been on the show in about 10 years. Robin said she sounds like she's calling in from the space station. Erica said she's actually driving on a highway. Howard said it's hard to understand her and asked if she's still extremely attractive. Erica said yes. Howard said this is like communicating with someone on mars. He asked how old she is now. Erica said she's 32. Howard asked if she's had a good life. She said it has been good for the past 10 years. Howard asked if she's fat now. She said she had lipo. Howard said she had the most perfect body he's ever seen. Erica said she had lipo because she had a little fat in her upper thigh. She said that it goes up her back and below her breasts. Howard said he has to see that. Erica said she'll show him. Erica was telling them some stuff but Howard couldn't understand it. Jason came in and said that he heard that when you have lipo the fat grows back in weird areas. Robin said she had a friend who had the fat sucked out of her thighs and now she has no waist.
Howard told Erica he has to let her go but only because of the bad connection. He told her not to call in from the road again. Erica got on the phone instead of on the speaker. She sounded a lot better. Erica told Howard she wanted to show Howard how she looks after going to Sal Calabro. She said she's been in a lot of pain and she wants them to see what she's been through. Howard said it sounds like a bummer and a downer. He said he'd like to hear a happy story. Erica said she's in a lot of pain now. She has no padding in her ass now. Robin said it sounds like an Oprah show. Erica said she would like Howard to help her out with getting massages and things so she can feel better. Howard said he doesn't think his wife would like that.
Robin said they didn't recommend lipo. Erica said she's not holding Howard accountable for that. Howard said she can stop in sometime if she wants. He said if her ass hurts he doesn't want her driving all the way there. She said she might take a plane from Harrisburg to New York. She said she started to drive in but it's like a 6 hour trip. Howard said she was a very popular on the show when she was on.
Gary said she's been asking them for money. She said she sent in an 11 page letter. She said she's trying to get $3 million. She said she'd like to get a massage every day for the rest of her life and move to a Caribbean island. Howard told her she has to earn her own money for that. Erica said she has cold feet and she has to move to a warm climate. Erica said she's been trying to get in touch with Howard since January. She said she's going to move and she will do it with or without Howard. Erica said she doesn't have the money to fix her implants... She lost her connection in the middle of a sentence. Howard had Robin get back to her news. Robin said she can't go on after that. Howard said he'd take a break then.
After the break, around 9:50am, Robin read a story about IPOs and wondered why everyone can't get them. Gary said there's only a limited amount of the stock. Robin said they always go to really wealthy people. They're good customers. Howard said he was offered IPOs and he never took the offer because he didn't know the legalities of them. Gary said he remembers that well. Howard said he never go into it.
Robin read a story about this strain of E.Coli that was killing people. Robin said the German's were blaming the Spanish for the outbreak but now they've determined it was something in Germany itself. Robin said they found it in a bean sprout. Robin said they say that it came from an organic farm.
Robin asked Howard if he thinks that Justin Bieber is still a virgin. Howard said there's no way he is based on the pictures he's seen with Justin with his girlfriend Selena Gomez. Howard said that he's got her wrapped around his waist in one picture and that's not the posture of a virgin.
Robin read about Anthony Weiner and what's going on with him. Howard said he's screwed after all of this. Howard said it's amazing that a guy named Weiner is busy taking pictures of his cock. Robin had some audio of some people talking about the Weiner thing. Howard said he has never understood sending out pictures of your cock to women. He said he doesn't want his cock in someone else's phone or in anyone's hands. He said he'll determine where his cock goes. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin read a headline for the Weiner story that was ''Weiner is Shrinking.'' Howard said he really should have changed his name.
Robin read a story about bullets flying on the upper east side of Manhattan the other night. Robin said it was right across from Central Park. She read about this guy shooting 4 shots across the street at about 7 in the evening. Robin said that's scary. She asked what's going on. Howard said that's something else.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said he never asked for $3 million like Erica the Gymnast. He said he'd settle for $1 million. Howard quickly moved on.
Robin read a story about Plaxico Burress who shot himself in a strip club a couple of years ago. He did some time in jail and he's about to be released. Robin said he's hoping to be able to play in the NFL again. Everyone in the NFL is unemployed right now though so it's not clear if he'll be back.
Robin read about Arnold Schwarzenegger's 14 year old son and his mistress and how the kid was pulled from his graduation. His mother doesn't want him being the center of attention. Howard said it's too bad the kids in the regular marriage aren't known as the ''love children.'' Howard said there was no love from his dad so he understands that. Robin said that Arnold's family have all but disappeared since that story came out. Robin said that Arnold and Anthony Weiner might be hiding together somewhere. Howard said he'd like to know where Arnold Schwarzenegger is.
Robin said they're trying to ban music from Central Park. Howard said there are a lot of people who blast music there and it's just noise pollution. He said it should be sanctioned music in a singular area. People want quiet and peace. Robin said they have started ticketing musicians. She said she loves it when she's out and people start playing music. Howard said it's fine if it's good music. Robin said she remembers seeing a woman playing a harp in Venice once and it was beautiful. Howard said the problem is with all of the other musicians.
Robin said that Sarah Palin is saying she's close to making a decision to run for President. Howard said there's no way she could win. She gave up being Governor to go after money. He said she would lose on that alone. Robin had some audio of Palin talking about her possible run. Palin said she might throw her name into the hat. Robin said it's ''throwing your hat into the ring'' and not what Palin said.
Robin read about a person who his saying that Obama is the one who is driving up the cost of gasoline to get people to cut back on using it. Robin said gas fell by 10 cents since the last time it was surveyed.
Robin read about Chuck Schumer going after a web site that was selling prescription drugs. Robin had some audio of Schumer talking about that site. Howard wondered why they want to ban drugs like that. As long as people don't drive a car when they're using them he's fine with it. He did a live commercial after that.
Robin read about the President of Yemen going to Saudi Arabia to get treatment for injuries he got. He may not return to the country so no one is sure who is running that country right now.
Robin had some audio of a military official talking about the upcoming withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan. Howard said he doesn't think things are going to be any better over there. He said that we keep doling out money to these wars and he's not sure what to think. He said he'll think about it tonight and maybe come up with something tomorrow.
Robin read about the movie box office and which movies did well. Bridesmaids is still doing well. Robin had some audio of one of the guys from the new X-Men movie talking about his role. Howard played about 2 seconds of that.
Robin said the Superman anthology is coming out next week. Howard said some of those movies were bad. Robin had some audio of Richard Donner talking about the movies he directed. He cleared his throat at one point and the guys were all grossed out. Howard said that's what Gary does in the morning. He replayed that clip a few times. Fred threw in Gary's throat clearing clip too.
Robin read about a sequel to ''Waiting to Exhale'' that's in the works for Whitney Houston. Howard said she used to be so hot. He said they should sew a life coach to her head or implant another brain into her head. He said something has to be done.
Robin mentioned that Richie Sambora is out of rehab and wrapped up her news. Howard ended the show around 10:20am.
Jon said he went to a Mets game with a bunch of the guys there. JD was one of them and his nose is still red. Gary pointed that out again. JD said he knows. He said if he knew he would have put something on. He said he would put something on if he was doing something ''outdoorsy.''
Jon asked JD about the alligator tail he had. JD said it was in the appetizer section so he figured he'd try it. He said it was very tough. Ronnie said they have rattlesnake too. He asked if he's tried that too. JD said he just tried the alligator tail. He said sometimes he's curious. JD said sometimes he feels froggy.
Jon asked JD about reaching the 100,000 follower mark on Twitter. JD said he did. Jon asked how meaningful it was to him. JD said he likes to be successful so it was good. Jon said he thinks that it's a really big deal to JD. Ronnie said he has 99,850 so he's getting close to JD. Gary asked if he's going to be bummed when he passes him. JD said he won't be bummed. He said he's surprised at how fast Ronnie has gotten his 100,000. He's only been on for a couple of months.
Jon asked JD if he ever thought it would be so important to him. Ronnie said he really didn't. Gary said Ronnie didn't have an email address until just recently. Gary said now he's a big star on Twitter.
Ronnie said the Twitter thing has worked out for him. He got a TV show offer thanks to Twitter. He said he was kind of upset about the prank that Janks pulled on him. He said he was just trying to have fun and Janks had to go and do that.
Ronnie said that everyone has been cool to him other than Janks. He said that everyone is always looking for nudity. He said that this girl Christy is very sexy and people complain that she's not putting up topless pictures. He said they spell topless out in capital letters.
Jon asked Ronnie if he thinks that he'll get more submissions for that hot chick of the week. Ronnie said he has to check them all out now and he's not sure who is real or not.
Ronnie said he's looking for hot chicks who aren't so popular yet. He said that he'll put up someone with just a few followers and they'll get a bunch of followers. He said that the first one he did only had like 300 followers and when he was done with her she had over 10,000. She would put up a lot of nude pictures too.
Gary asked about one of the girls who used to be a Maxim model. Ronnie said that she's smokin hot. He said she didn't have a lot of followers on Twitter. He said that's why he took her on as Hot Chick of the Week. Jon said it seems like he's trying to find the diamond in the rough. Ronnie said he's just having fun. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked Gary about the clips Howard played of Sal and Richard asking Lady Gaga fans about what they would do to be with Lady Gaga. Gary said some of those people were a little out there. Gary said that Sal is kind of nuts for Howard and he might be like some of those people.
Gary said he's a huge Springsteen fan and he didn't go out of his way to meet him when he was up there recently.
Jon asked Ronnie if he's going to do anything special when he reaches 100,000 followers. Ronnie said it's just another day in the office. Gary said he's surprised how much it means to him now that he's killing on it.
Jon asked Ronnie how Scott the Engineer got kicked off his own tour. Ronnie said Shuli came to him and told him about the show and they were going to do this thing without Scott. The club didn't want Scott on the show. Shuli was in and said that it was partly the budget. They couldn't have Ronnie and Scott. Shuli said that this is just the first few shows and it might be a little high with the prices. Gary said that Ronnie only needs another 43 people to be at 100,000. Gary said he might start worrying now that Ronnie has so many. He said he has 143,000 himself and Ronnie could surpass him.
Shuli said the funny thing is that they forgot about Scott already. Ronnie got back to that. He said Scott didn't even know about the money situation. He just knew he was off the show. Shuli said he told him what it was all about. Ronnie said he felt real bad and he had to talk to Shuli and make something happen.
Shuli said that Ronnie called him up and said he felt bad about Scott bumming out so he said they'd have to give a portion of their pay toward Scott and Ronnie is fine with that. Shuli said he's fine with that too. Shuli said that they have to sell out to be able to do that. Shuli said he was wondering if Scott would do the same thing for Ronnie. Ronnie doesn't even think he would do that.
Ronnie said that Scott was all pissed at him for saying that Scott was boring. He said he got locked out of his studio because of that. They had to take another break before getting to all of that.
Ronnie said Shuli told him that it was the club. Shuli said that he just said the club couldn't afford both of them.
Jon asked why Scott would be cut if he was the one who came up with the idea. Shuli said Ronnie is the guy who sets the bar for hosting the show. He said that Scott can host this one if he wants to.
Gary asked Shuli how many people are involved in this. Shuli said that it'll be him, Yucko and John Tole and then Scott and Ronnie. He said that they're all going to take a chunk off their pay to give to Scott. Ronnie said he's not. He said they have to sell out and they won't have to take a cut of their pay. Shuli said that's right.
Scott also said that he would be willing to give up some money for Ronnie like they were talking about earlier. Gary said he doesn't see him doing that. Gary asked if he would do that if he was asked to give up $150 of his $800. Scott said he would do that if the rest of the guys were doing that. Gary asked if this guy John Tole even knows Scott. Shuli said he absolutely does. He's a big fan.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary was out in Chicago for a book signing and he was a super nice guy. that's all he wanted to say.
Jon asked Gary if he expected flack today after doing the signings. Gary said that he's scaled it down a lot so it shouldn't cause any problems.
Jon asked why Eric the Midget thinks that having his voice mails played on the show isn't being ''on the show.'' Gary said that's because he doesn't live in reality and he's crazy. Jon said he believes that he hasn't broken his word about calling into the show. Gary said that's on a technicality that he hasn't broken his word. Benjy said they've broken their word to Eric by not calling him Eric the Actor. Gary said he never agreed to that. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about Gary talking about Anthony Weiner's wife's teeth being bigger than this. Howard said he has to call a press conference about that.
Howard said he woke up this morning and found out about Benjy going to the Weiner press conference and yelling stuff out. Howard said he's out of control. Howard said Benjy ended the press conference and some reporters are saying he ended it at the right time. Weiner was going on and on answering questions and he was going on too long according to some. Howard said Benjy saw a FOX reporter doing a report and he started to fix his hair in the camera. Howard said Benjy may have gotten shoved but someone said that he got hit and had to go to the hospital. Benjy told Howard he didn't go yet. He said he figured he'd be in the emergency room for hours if he did.
Benjy said he doesn't like getting on camera and interrupting people. He said he did it but some guy grabbed him and it started hurting really badly. He said that people told him that he was hit with a chain by some guy and he's not sure who did it. He said his ankle is huge this morning. He said he'd like to get an appointment with an orthopedic specialist. Howard asked if he's in pain. Benjy said he can't put pressure on it. He said he can't put any weight on it now. He said he had to crawl around his apartment to go to the bathroom last night.
Howard said he figured he could have helped him out with questions if he knew he was going to go. Benjy said he didn't know he was going until the last minute. He said he went down and went into the room and yelled out his questions.
Howard said it sounded like people were annoyed with him. Benjy said the press conference part went fine. He said he yelled out ''Are you shocked that Arnold had sex with such an ugly woman?'' and then he asked if he would support that love child. Then he asked if he was fully erect or was he capable of more. Howard said he liked that last question. He said that's probably where he would have started.
Howard asked Benjy about the chain guy and what happened there. Benjy said people said it could be a logging chain or something like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that they should get Benjy off there because he sucks. He said they should have hit him in the head with that chain. He told Howard to get him the fuck off the show. Howard said Benjy was trying to create magic and he took a beating over it.
Howard said he had some audio of the press conference. He said that this guy Andrew Brietbart is the guy who let everyone know about this. He said that Weiner insisted he was lying and Brietbart got up on stage, unplanned, and demanded an apology from him for calling him a liar.
Howard said Anthony Weiner is claiming he doesn't fuck any of these girls. He says he just beats off to them. Howard said he beats off to porn and not to people on Facebook like Weiner claims he does. Howard said he beat off on the internet a few times but it was to dudes in the early days. He said he learned about that many years ago. Howard said he comes clean right away about that. Howard said he got over that pretty quickly and just moved on. Howard said you feel really lame when you do that. Howard said Weiner is spending too much time on this. He said he should move on. He's going to have to resign. The question is just when?
Howard said he was looking at the pictures in the NY Post today and he saw that he was wearing those shorts and you don't really see his cock. You just see a bulge. He said he does that weird thing where he shows himself and his body. Robin said that he is kind of weird in that way. He said other guys have done things like that and they've resigned right away.
Howard said Weiner put a lot of work into those pictures he took. He said he read an article about the guy and they were pointing out that he probably didn't get that many chicks in high school. He said he's still trying to be one of those cool kids. Howard said when he got Beth to marry him he said there was no way he was going to fuck that up. Weiner just got married not that long ago and he's fucking that up. Robin and Howard talked about how he must not love her that much if he's going around doing this kind of thing.
Howard said a lot of women are going nuts from this whole thing. He said guys will be guys and they do dumb shit because of their dick but when you're a congressman you have to be insane to do something like this. Howard said he lied about it and you know the press is going to hammer your ass.
Howard said Weiner's wife was at the press conference and you know there's no way she digs this. Howard said he had some of the conversations he had with these girls. He read some of the stuff he wrote to this chick Weiss. The chick was saying she wanted to sit on his bulging cock that he was writing to her about. Then he takes the picture of his cock and sends it to her. She asks him how he's going to get rid of it. Then he tells her he's getting harder taking pictures of it. Howard said this chick had to be a dude. Howard read the rest of the transcript and he was telling her this thing was bobbing up and down and the chick tells him she wanted to help him out in the shower. He eventually tells her that this thing is ready to do damage.
Howard said Weiner was married less than a month when he started doing this stuff. This chick was 40 years old too. He said that women are hammering this guy now. Howard said he held a press conference yesterday and Benjy went there and yelled out some questions. Howard played that audio. Benjy started yelling out his questions but it was very hard to hear. Benjy asked if he was shocked that Arnold had sex with such an ugly woman. People around him were saying ''You didn't just say that...'' Howard said he likes that they have to be serious now. This guy is texting pictures of his penis to women and Benjy is shocking. Benjy yelled out a couple more questions and they ended the press conference.
Howard said Benjy was getting up and down not knowing if he should be standing. Then they say that he's asking inappropriate questions. They ask who he is so he gave out his Twitter handle @Bronk.
Benjy said that Weiner claims he sent this picture out as a joke and he wasn't doing it as a flirting thing. Howard said that's what he claims. Robin said it was supposed to be his way of joking around with this friend online.
Howard said most guys do dumb shit because of their dicks. He said we hold our representatives to a high standard and they can't be doing this stuff. Robin said he shouldn't have gotten married if he was going to be doing this. Howard said he's going to have to resign. He said he lied and he's got a major character flaw. Howard said he made up really lame lies about being hacked and all of that. Howard said he thinks that this is a cry for help and him saying he doesn't really want to be in politics. He said his wife is hot too.
Robin said there were a lot of pundits talking about this woman who married Weiner and they were feeling sorry for her. Howard said it's mind blowing to a chick when they find out about the secret life the guy is having. Howard said Arnold is probably happy that he's in the news now. Howard said he won't forget about Arnold though. Robin said she's sure there is more to come from Arnold.
Howard wondered if Hillary Clinton is trying to console Weiner's wife. He said she's friendly with her and she knows what this kind of thing is like. Robin said she's probably telling her to stay married to him.
Howard said that he had a witness of the Benjy beating on the phone. It was Robin's old intern Kerri. Kerri told Howard what she saw and said that she saw the big bike chain go around his legs. She said that it was a big bike chain and it was around his waist. Howard said it sounds like it wasn't on purpose that it was used against him. She said she's not sure how it got in there but it somehow got around his ankle. Howard said it sounds like it wasn't that much force. Kerri said they were wrestling around and the chain was really thick and long so it was down to the ground. She said he was bear hugging Benjy and the thing whipped around his ankle. She said she was trying to get video of it and she didn't see the whole thing.
Howard said it sounds like those guys were coming to the defense of the woman Benjy was interrupting. Benjy said that his ankle is really fucked up. He said that he wasn't resisting them so they were going a little too far for what he was doing. Howard said it sounds like he must have thrown it or something. Benjy said his ankle is bruised on both sides. Howard said it sounds like the guy was like Mickey Rourke's character in ''Iron Man 2'' with the whips.
Howard said he doesn't know what Benjy is up to. He said he just goes around doing nutty shit. He said he's a good guy and a funny guy but he has no way to know what to do. He said it's weird. Howard said there's being funny and then there's being funny. Robin said that the Howard TV guys are fearful for themselves when they go out with him. Howard said he doesn't want them going out with him anymore. Howard said he doesn't want him going out and doing things like that without permission.
Kerri said she saw the questions being thrown out there. She said she was right behind him. Kerri said that it kind of kills the whole press conference and everyone goes ''Aww man...'' Howard said he heard it was 25 minutes in and they were all bored anyway.
Howard thanked Kerri for the call. Howard said she heard that she's contributing to Sean Hannity's show. Howard said Hannity wasn't on last night. Kerri said she saw the replay last night. Howard said maybe it was delayed.
Robin said she saw Al Sharpton on MSNBC last night and it was very bizarre. Howard said he doesn't know how Al Sharpton had any life after the Tawana Brawley thing. Robin said he's with the President and going to the White House and no one is sure how that happened.
Howard said he had more audio of Sal and Richard asking Lady Gaga fans questions at her concert. Howard played some of those. Sal and Richard were asking how Lady Gaga makes them feel and one guy said that her song ''Poker Face'' made him come out of the closet. They asked what the guy was willing to do to meet Lady Gaga. This guy was willing to eat dog shit to meet her. He also thought that Lady Gaga was more influential to music than the Rolling Stones.
Howard said when he heard ''Poker Face'' he almost came out of the closet too. He said he actually almost came out when he heard ''Mississippi Queen'' from Mountain. That led to Robin asking how Freddy Mercury got away with as much as he did back then. Howard said he thought the music was so good it didn't matter. Robin said he used to wear short shorts and strutted around the stage in them. Howard said they had some really cool music. He said he remembers hearing ''Keep Yourself Alive'' and how cool that was. He played some of that song and talked about how cool it was. He talked it up like he was at WNBC again.
Howard played more of the Sal and Richard interviews with Lady Gaga fans. They asked a woman about Lady Gaga. She wasn't willing to give up listening to her for any reason even if it meant solving world hunger. Howard said she sounds like a nut. Howard said people are really into her.
Howard said he saw David Letterman's interview with Lady Gaga and there were no real questions. He said he has things he wants to talk to her about and other people don't seem to care. Howard said she said she would come on his show and their show is the only one she canceled. Howard said it's kind of a smart move because it shuts him up. Howard said she should stop blowing him off and get in there.
Howard said the Anthony Weiner press conference was cool too because he started crying. He played some of that part of the press conference. Weiner talked about his wife and how remarkable she is. He said she had nothing to do with this and she's getting back to work. He said he was apologizing to her for what he did.
Howard said that these guys never think about what this is going to do to their wives. Howard said he wishes that he'd call in.
Howard played some more of Weiner's press conference and Robin said they were asking him what he's going to do about this whole thing. He said he's going to deal with it himself. Howard said he would love to interview him. He said he wants to know how it all started up. Robin said he claims it was only 3 years. She said he had to be doing something before that.
Howard said he heard the Wrap Up Show yesterday and he counted about 6 ''You know's'' during the short clip he heard him in. He said that Ronnie and JD are battling over the Twitter followers so they were talking to them about that. JD is over 100,000 and Ronnie just went over 100,000 yesterday. JD got into a lot of ''You know's'' during the clip he had.
Howard played the clip and Jon Hein was asking JD about his Twitter followers and he kept saying ''You know'' during the clip over and over again. It was in every sentence he said. Howard said he counted 6. Robin got 6. Howard said that's what JD's Twitter name should be... @YouKnow. Howard said some people think he has Tourette's. He doesn't think that's what it is.
Howard said he Tweeted once yesterday. He said he was riding around with a guy with two TV shows in development and he was hoping he wasn't annoying him.
Howard said he had a prank call the guys made using clips of JD having phone sex. He played that clip where the guys called a toy store and had JD talking to them about sex toys. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and Robin was singing along to that song. Howard said he was turning that off. Howard had a guest on the phone. It was Frank Sorentino who is Mike ''The Situation'' Sorentino's dad. Howard said Frank is upset with his son over money.
Howard got Frank on the line and asked about why he's upset with his son for not giving him money. Frank said it has nothing to do with money. He said he took care of Mike for a long time and right up until the show went on the air in 2009. Frank said he was hospitalized for a long time and he asked Mike to help him out with a few things and Mike never took care of it. He said that Mike told him through this brother that he should go on Welfare. Howard said it's clear that his son doesn't like him. Frank said he should close his eyes and think about this.
Howard said he has learned as a father that we bring these kids into the world themselves. He said that they didn't ask to be brought into the world. He said Mike isn't there to take care of him. He said Frank said some really nasty things about his son. Frank said he was wrong for saying what he said. He said he apologized to him and he's apologizing to him now. He said there is no book and he won't be writing that.
Howard said a child has a right to be angry at their parents and the parents have to deal with it. He said he can't be going public with it and berating them. Frank said he made a mistake.
Howard asked Frank if he's calling in to apologizing to his son today. Frank said he was called by the station, he didn't call in. He said that they asked him to come on the show. Frank said he will apologize today because he did make a mistake. Howard said he's impressed that he came on and did that. He said that must be a big step for him. frank said it's not a big step but it's the right step.
Howard asked Frank about some allegations his son made about him hitting his wife. Frank said that never happened. He said he never criticized his son's work. He said he isn't looking for money now either. He said he has been a life long diabetic and he was just looking for help. He said he wasn't asking him to give him money. Frank said he hasn't been able to walk for a long time now and he didn't think it was that big of a stretch to ask for some help. He didn't think it was a big deal. He still doesn't think it's a big deal.
Howard asked what he was asking for. Frank said his medical coverage was cut off and he was asking for about $337 a month. He said that's the cost of a couple of bottles of Crystal that his son throws around with the girls he's with.
Howard asked if he's jealous of his son. He said he's not and he thinks that his son is very talented. He said he's a great martial artist and he has done a lot of great things.
Howard said you can find out more about Frank at TheConfrontationSite.com. Howard asked why he has the site up if he's apologizing. Frank said he's going to take the site down. He said there are stories up there that are true but he will be taking them down. He said he regrets what he did and he may regret it the rest of his life.
Howard asked Frank if he can get any pussy being Frank's father. Frank said it hasn't manifested itself so far.
Howard asked when he last saw his son. He said it was last year in June at a birthday party for his son. He said he hasn't seen him since he started the web site. Howard told Frank he should get a reality show of his own. Frank said he has no comment on that. Howard said he should bang Snooki. Frank laughed. Howard said he should do that. Frank said he doesn't think that will happen. Howard asked if he's a good looking guy. Frank said he'd say he's ''fair.''
Howard asked Frank if he's going to be boxing Lindsay Lohan's father. frank said that was a tabloid thing that was going on. He said he met Lohan the other night at a celebrity boxing match and he was a hell of a nice guy. He said he's not sure he would box him. He doesn't see a need to do that.
Robin asked if he's trying to be one of those celebrity dads. Frank said he's not. Robin said it seems like he is hanging out whit Michael Lohan and thinking about fighting him. Frank said that he was just going there to have a meeting. He didn't see it as being a celebrity dad even though he and Lohan are both dad's of celebrities.
Gary said that Frank called them to be on the show. Frank said that he didn't call them, they called him. Gary said a publicist called them and said he was available. Frank said someone may have called them but he did not. Gary said they physically made the call to him but he has a person contacting them to be on the show. Frank said that guy shouldn't be doing that. Howard asked Gary who the publicist is. Gary said Will is going to come in and tell him. Will said that this woman is a great publicist by the name of Gina. He said he spoke to Frank yesterday and he had a guy there telling him what to say. Frank said he had some friends around, that's it.
Will said that Frank was a completely different guy yesterday. He said he was saying ''Fuck Mike'' and stuff yesterday. He said that Frank had a list of reasons he doesn't like Mike and today he's apologizing. Frank said he was full of shit. Frank said that he was just telling that guy he spoke to that the stories on his web site were true. He said he didn't say what this guy is saying he said.
Howard asked Frank if he wanted to take some phone calls. Frank said he'd pass on that. Howard said he thinks that's a good idea. He gave him a plug for his web site and said you should check it out before he takes the stories down. Frank said he's going to move in a new direction.
Howard asked Frank if he's ever been in street fights. Frank said he has. Howard asked if he's ever knocked anyone out. Frank said he has. Howard said that must feel good. Howard asked how old he is. Frank said he's in his 50s. Howard asked why he's in so many street fights. Frank said he hasn't been in one lately. He said he can't remember when the last one was. Howard said it sounds like he knows what he's doing.
Howard let Frank go and talked about how they got him on the show. He said he was told they had Frank available to call in so he had seen the video of Frank bad mouthing his son. He said he wanted to put him on and he'd give it to him. He said Frank calls in and says he did the wrong thing. He said the point was to straighten him out but he had already straightened himself out overnight. Howard said this guy on the phone had a good question for Frank and wanted to ask if he had a big cock. Howard said he should have asked if he admires Lady Gaga or Team Six more.
Howard said Rachel Maddow was talking about it too. He said he likes her video podcast. He said she's kind of like a hot Jane Hathaway with that haircut she has. Howard played some of the audio of her talking about Benjy's questions. She was all angry about the questions Benjy was throwing out there.
Howard said if he was a girl he'd want a Rachel Maddow as a girlfriend. He said he'd be the feminine to Rachel's butch.
Howard said Benjy was all over the news with the press conference stuff. Benjy said it was kind of cool. He said he was at home with some friends like Sheila. He said that she's like family to him. He said she was helping him out with his ankle last night. Howard said he doesn't get that relationship. He said Benjy had her for a little while and now he's just her friend.
Robin asked Benjy about them icing his ankle and Howard wondered why he would have someone come over to help. He said he's capable of doing that himself. Benjy said he called and told them what had happened and didn't want them worrying about what had gone on. Benjy said his friend Maryann was going to come over too.
Howard and Robin talked to Benjy about the strange relationship Benjy has with these women. Robin said she would never admit that she had a relationship with Benjy. Robin said she would tell him to neve reveal that they were together.
Howard said there are women in his life he's embarrassed to admit he fucked. He said he hasn't even told Beth he fucked them. He said that if he was going to confess he would do it early on. Howard said if he had an STD he'd tell a woman early on. Howard said that must be what it's like for Benjy's ex-girlfriends.
Howard said Benjy should have just gone home after the press conference. Benjy said he should have and he knows that it's annoying to interrupt the reporters on camera. He said that it's funny to do but he knows it's annoying. He said he didn't deserve what he got from that though.
Howard said that he's really worried about Benjy's leg and he can leave early if he has to. Benjy said he has to get an appointment first. Howard said he's not going to help him out with that. He said he has to get that on his own.
Howard brought up Robin's broken wrist and asked to see her scar. He said he couldn't see it with that tattoo she got near it. Howard said he has a doctor that was really good that Benjy might be able to use.
Steve Langford got back to his news preview and said they have some stuff about Riley Martin talking about getting a boner the other day and announcing that.
Steve said they also have an update about Gary's book signing. Howard said he got a picture from someone where this girl had a low cut top on and Gary was looking at her tits. He said Steve is there too. Howard said Gary was licking his teeth with his tongue. Howard told Gary to come in and look at this picture. He said Gary is leering and wetting down his teeth. Gary said that could have been a second long glance. Gary said he was wetting down his choppers but he could have been looking at someone else. Howard said Gary got a boner on stage once when he was leering at some chick.
Howard said Gary has a shadow today. She's a woman who works for the GM of the NY Jets. She's shadowing Gary to just learn stuff. She said she thinks that she can learn a lot from there. She told Howard that she has been there since 5:30 this morning. Gary has been showing her the ropes. Howard asked who else she's shadowed. She said this is the first person. She's been with the Jets since July. Howard asked if she's seen Gary put his feet up and fall asleep yet. He asked if she's learned how to leer down women's tops. She said she hasn't seen that yet.
Howard said it was nice to have her there. He found out she's married. She has a couple of step-daughters and she said that's quite a challenge. Howard told her he hopes she learns something. He said that he's pretty sure that Gary could learn something from her though. Howard said maybe she'll pick up some information somewhere but maybe not there. Howard asked what she could learn there. Gary said he thinks it's interesting to learn how people operate even here. The woman said that she listens to the show a lot and she hears Gary chime in with stuff. She said that's the kind of thing she can learn.
The Howard TV guys showed Gary sleeping in his office to show this woman what Gary does. Gary said he made one mistake in 28 years and he can't get away from that. Howard asked the woman if she would take a nap when Gary takes a nap. She said she doesn't think she would. Howard let the woman go and never did say what her name was. She was simply known as ''Gary's Shadow.''
Steve Langford told Howard about some of the stuff that went on at Gary's book signings. Steve said there were a lot of strange questions and comments at the signings.
Steve said that Eric the Midget has spoken out about how he's enjoying not being on the show. Howard said he was on the show with those voice mails. Steve wrapped up after plugging Jackie's show and the Greg Fitzsimmons show.
Howard said that Sirius always pays what they promise... oh wait. Howard said Big Black might be right about that. Howard said they owe him money too. Howard said maybe his own pay check is just 8 weeks out. Howard said he was just alerted that he's on a 60,000 day cycle for his payment.
Howard said Tim must be having a mid life crisis. He said that he's not married anymore and he used to be there more when he was. Howard said he did something on vacation that was odd. He said he doesn't seem as focused as he was. Howard said he went out to Baja and hooked up with some motorcycle guys and rode through the desert. He said that he visited some graves in the desert and sent out some videos that were upside down.
Tim said he used to ride dirt bikes when he was a kid and Kid Rock told him about this bike ride thing so he went out and did it. Howard said he looks like he's in a football outfit in the pictures. Tim said he did about 110 to 150 miles a day and it was awesome. He said people die out there doing that. Howard asked how old he is. Tim said he's 55 and he loves it. He said it was awesome and the most incredible thing.
Howard asked how he filmed himself upside down. Tim said he was holding the camera after going through the desert and he was shaking. He said he was out with this Chris Heines motorcycle adventures thing out there. Howard said they probably told him fake stories about the guys dying out there. Howard said he saw the upside down video and thought Tim was in Australia.
Tim told Howard that riding through the desert like that at 50-60 miles per hour is like meditation. He said it was very relaxing. He said Fred knows what it's like because he rides too.
Tim also mentioned that Jared was promoted so he has a new assistant. Howard said he'll have to meet her. Gary came in and had some news about that. Gary said Tim has been looking for an assistant for a couple of months and he was interviewing guys mostly. Then this girl walked in and she's beautiful. Tim said they had H.R. interview a lot of people and she was the most qualified for the job. Howard asked if he's going to date her. Tim said ''Oh please...'' Gary said ''Yeah, like that's unheard of.'' Howard said he had to take a break.
Howard came back and had Sandra Bernhard come in. He asked her if she would pick a show business career again. Sandra said she would. Howard said he likes her very much personally and he doesn't get why she's so religious. She said she's not religious. She said she likes to go to temple to hear the Torah being read. That's not religious to her. Howard said it is to him. Howard said she sees the humor in everything when they're hanging out but then she opens up her heart to god. She said she's a social critic and that's what it's all about. Sandra spent a minute talking about that.
Howard asked Sandra about being in ''King of Comedy'' and said that was one of the most brilliant comedies ever. Sandra said she shot that movie 30 years ago today. She said that it was her birthday yesterday too. She said that she's doing a big show at Town Hall tomorrow night so she was rehearsing for that. Sandra said she went to Liza Minelli's place for dinner last night. She said no one was there other than her musical director and her director and one of Liza's friends.
Sandra asked Howard if Liza has ever been on the show. Howard laughed. He said that would never happen. Howard asked if there was food there last night. Sandra said there wasn't. She said they were telling stories and things like that. Sandra said there is alcohol there but Liza drinks Diet Snapple. She said they were just hanging out and talking.
Howard asked if Liza is getting laid. Sandra doesn't think that's a priority for Liza. Howard said she must love going to her house. Sandra told Howard some of the stories Liza was telling them. Howard said he gets nervous going to celebrity homes. He said Sandra seems relaxed with that.
Howard said Sandra has done so many things on TV and being friends with Madonna and then all of a sudden no one is calling. He said that she must wonder what to do. Sandra said she just does the ancillary things that she's always done. She said she works out, writes books and does shows. She said her daughter is going to be 13 in July. Howard asked if the daughter hates her. Sandra said there are times she hates her. Sandra said that she's not going to let her daughter wander around New York City. She doesn't have a phone and she won't let her on Facebook. Sandra said they have someone who hangs around with her to keep and eye on her. Sandra said she knows her daughter likes to be with her.
Sandra told Howard about her kid asking to go to a party that she's not invited to. She said she's her mother and she's not going to take it from her. She said that she's laying down the law and not letting her to the party. She said that she will be angry at her for two hours but she'll get over it. She said that she will love her again after that. Howard said what she's saying is the key to mothering. Howard said people can't say no to their children. Howard said that's his main beef and you're not doing them any favors by doing that.
Howard said she might be a little too harsh with her kid with the Facebook thing. Sandra said she's not because that fucking Facebook is awful. She has a Facebook account but her manager handles it. Sandra is on Twitter. Howard asked if she's going to let her kid on Facebook at all. Sandra said she's not. She said they don't want her to be on Facebook. She said the world is moving too fast. She said that she doesn't get suckered into all of that stuff. She still has a flip phone. Howard said that's a shitty phone. Howard told her about the new OS for the iPhone. Sandra said she doesn't want to bump into those people who are busy Tweeting and messing around on their phones. She said she likes to be in the now. Howard asked if her daughter ever asks about being on Facebook and tells her that she's responsible. Sandra said she won't allow it.
Howard said Sandra is caught up in this whole Arnold Schwarzenegger thing. Sandra said she's really not. She said she moved to California when she was like 20 and she would go to Venice Beach and Arnold came up to her and talked to her while she was there. She said that he tried picking her up down there. Sandra said that they schmoozed and he wandered off. That was it. She said that if she had given him her number maybe he would have called. Howard said Jay Leno too her out and dated her a little bit. Howard said she could have been Mrs. Jay Leno. Sandra said ''Never!'' She said she thinks that he's a shlub.
Howard asked Sandra about Arnold and Maria's marriage and Sandra said she's not sure how she got caught up in that for so long. She said it must be a Catholic thing. She said she must have put blinders on and ignored it for years. She said she doesn't get that.
Howard asked why Arnold would fuck that housekeeper. Sandra said he must like conquering constantly. Howard said the guy has always been a liar because he took steroids and things like that. Sandra said the whole thing is a house of cards.
Howard said Sandra is so worldly and she won't let her daughter do the same thing. Sandra said it's a different time. She said she knew what she was doing and kids these days don't know what they're doing. She said she knew what she was doing.
Howard asked Sandra about this Kaballa thing and how she was involved. Sandra said she was involved for a little while but things got crazy over there. She said they made people think that giving money to them was going to make things better. She said that she thinks that's bullshit.
Howard asked if the silliest move in her career was turning down a role in Ghostbusters. Sandra said it was a role as a secretary. Sandra said that she doesn't think that was a bad move. She said Ivan Reitman hooked her up with Sigourney Weaver and some other people to write a movie and it didn't work out. Howard said Ivan produced his movie. He said that this sounds like a crazy idea with her and Sigourney. Sandra said she has written movies and TV shows but collaborating with people is the worst. She said that Sigourney hung out in her hotel room and it was fun. Howard asked if she came on to her. Sandra said she didn't. She's not her type either.
Howard asked Sandra about going to shoot Roseanne Barr's reality show. Sandra said that starts on Lifetime in July. Sandra said that Roseanne is running a Macadamia nut farm in Hawaii now. Howard asked if she felt pressure to act weird for the TV show. Sandra said it's not like that. She said they had Phyllis Diller on the show with them for the first episode. She said that she's sharp as a tack and she's going to be 94 years old. Sandra said that she had 2 martinis the first night they went out and 3 the next night. Howard asked if she was an idol of her's. Sandra said of course she was.
Howard asked if she stayed at Roseanne's house out there. Sandra said they were staying in a hotel. They would go to the farm and hang out with Roseanne there. Howard asked if they were picking the nuts. Sandra said they were just having fun out there and the show is going to be funny.
Howard asked Sandra about Anthony Weiner and what she thinks about all of that. Sandra said she doesn't understand what's going on. Howard said he thinks that he blew up his life because he doesn't really want to be in politics. Sandra said that people just go fucking crazy with this internet stuff. She said people are taking pictures of their cocks and sending them over the internet. She said this is crazy.
Sandra said that back in the day you would take a mirror and look at your vagina. She said it was like a revolution. Now people take a camera and take pictures of it. Howard said the whole thing is crazy and you have to know at some point you're going to get busted.
Howard asked Sandra about being friends with Courtney Love. Sandra told Howard a story about Courtney collapsing once and she stepped over her and Courtney woke up and recognized her and then passed out again. She said that Courtney reminded her of the storey years later.
Howard said Lady Gaga is like Madonna but she might be too weird even for Sandra. Sandra said she's very energetic and she moves too fast. She said she just can't stop. She said her daughter tells her that she hardly did anything this year. Howard asked if she would let her daughter go to a Gaga concert. She said with a chaperone she would let her go.
Howard gave Sandra some plugs for her new album ''Love Being Me, Don't You'' which is available on iTunes today. Howard said she's also going to be doing a show at Town Hall in Manhattan tomorrow night. Howard said that he heard that Liza may even show up. You can find out more at SandraBernhard.com.
Howard asked Sandra if she has had work done on her face. She said she gets some Botox and some filler on her face. Howard said maybe he should get some work done for his wrinkles. He said he saw a picture of himself the other day and it was awful. He asked her about the filler and how that works. Sandra said it's not that much work that she gets done.
Sandra told Howard she was on a TV show for BET and Joan Rivers played her mother on the show. She told Howard about the role and how she had never really met Joan before that. She said she was so sweet and nice.
Howard said Sandra's new album ''dropped'' today as Sandra said. He gave her more plugs for her album and her shows that she's doing.
Sandra asked Howard about being on Twitter and why he stopped . Howard said he was really into it for a little while but he kind of gave up on it. Sandra said everyone wants to be a star now and they're all on Twitter. Howard said he sees that Sandra and Natalie Maines have a whole conversation going on.
Sandra got in another plug for a show she's doing at the Infinity Theater in Connecticut tonight. She said she has to go home and do her hair and drive up there. She said she'll be performing with her band there. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he got the Green Lantern cartoon on DVD. He said he can't wait to watch that. Howard said the cartoons are in high def and they're great. Robin said she has to see the live action movies, not the cartoons.
Robin said she heard that the United Nations had come forward and said that there is a link between cancer and cell phone use. Howard said he had no idea the United Nations was involved with that. Robin said they do medical research.
Howard said Apple came out with a bunch of new stuff yesterday. He said they have the new operating system for the iPhone and for their computers. Howard said they say the OS is going to do new stuff but he's not sure what that is. He said it looks the same to him.
Howard said he's still using a book to write his calendar down. He said he's trying to switch over but he hates it. He said it's too hard to add anything. He said he has to be able to write something down quickly. He said he's thinking of doing something where he has a note pad kind of thing on the computer. Then when he gets home he'll add it to his computer. Howard said he's trying to figure out a good system for himself.
Howard said it should be easier than it is. He said he's been talking to Jeff Shick about this stuff and he needs him to give him lessons. He said he needs lessons in everything. Robin said she does too. She said she has some time now to learn this stuff. She said it would be one thing to learn a new language but she's just learning how to use computers.
Howard said he wanted to take some guitar lessons but he doesn't have time. He's busy learning computers. Howard said he would like to be able to play guitar like Eddie Van Halen. He said he seems to be hated by so many people on radio. He said he'd like to go back in time and learn guitar so he could be loved by many. Howard said he'd like to be able to go out on a tour bus and get laid and then marry Valerie Bertinelli and then divorce her when she gets chubby.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon mentioned Sandra Bernhard and that led to Howard talking to Jon about when his kids got Facebook accounts. Jon said they were younger than Sandra Bernhard's daughter. Howard said he thinks Sandra is a little strict. He said his mother was like that too and wouldn't let him wear blue jeans. He said his friends had toy guns too and his mom wouldn't let him have one. He said he was a little boy and she wouldn't let him play with guns or play in the mud. Everything was ''No!'' He said he thinks that Sandra is a little too strict. He does like that she's able to say no though. He said she might be raising a little Howard.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thought Howard would have better guests now that he's only on 3 days a week. He said Sandra Bernhard isn't a good guest. Howard said he can't get better guests just because he's on less days. Howard said Lady Gaga has rebooked herself 3 times now and they can't get her to show up. Howard said he doesn't even know what that guy was saying.
Jon ran down some more subjects for today's show. Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he might have a solution for his calendar problem. He said that he discovered something in mail on his Mac. He said if you write a note in mail it will replicate across all of your devices. He said if you write a note on your iPhone it will replicate on all of his stuff. He could jot his notes down that way. Howard said it takes him forever to get it into the calendar though. He said Ralph was over yesterday and they were trying to figure it out. He said they weren't able to do it. Howard said Maria Melito sent him a book and he wanted to open it in his computer but it was only on the iPad. Ralph said with the new iCloud service he'll be able to get it on all of his devices. Howard asked if he'll ever have to go into his iTunes library. Ralph said he won't even need iTunes anymore. Howard thanked Ralph for the call. Jon told Howard a little about the iCloud thing too.
Howard said he went in and asked for his money too and they told him he's on a 60,000 year cycle. Howard told King to take them to court if he wants. King told Howard to keep the show on for him. Howard said maybe he'll do that.
Howard played Robin into her news with another Little Mikey song parody. That one went on for a couple of minutes. Robin tried to start her news but Howard just let the song play through.
Robin read a story about Rihanna's new music video where she kills a guy. She said that the guy was supposedly a rapist and she kills him in the video. Robin said that the Parents Teacher Counsel is upset about the video and Rihanna is defending herself saying that she's an artist and she's doing what she wants.
Robin read a story about a guy who took out a billboard and wrote that his ex-girlfriend had an abortion against his will. She said the guy had the billboard saying that she killed their child and now he's in trouble and the girlfriend is taking him to court. They had to go to break after that.
After the break, around 9:30am, Howard asked Robin if she watched The Bachelorette. Robin said she did. She said that the host of the show was on another show talking about what was going to happen and he spoiled it for her. Howard said that guy is a top guy, what's wrong with him. Robin said he was talking about it a lot and she knew everything that was basically going to happen. She said she fast forwarded through most of it because the drama wasn't there for her. Howard said the guy must not have anything else to talk about.
Robin said that guy on the show had very shifty eyes and she's not sure how anyone would believe him. Howard took a call from a guy who said he watched the show and he felt bad for the girl. He said she's going to kill herself after seeing that episode. Howard said he still thinks the show is a top show. He loves it.
Robin said that she had some MTV Movie Awards clips. She a clip of Reese Witherspoon giving a lecture about reality shows. She said it is possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show. Howard said she's kind of annoying with that lecture. Robin said it's none of her business what other people are doing. Howard said there are maybe 10 women in Hollywood who can be leading ladies. He said it's not for everyone. Robin said she doesn't think they're going to listen to her anyway.
Robin said that Dominique Strauss-Kahn went to court yesterday. He's kind of been forgotten about with the Anthony Weiner thing going on. Robin said a bunch of housekeepers showed up to protest him. Robin said this woman is claiming that she's not backing down on her claim and she will testify against him. Robin said on the way out his wife was holding his hand. Robin said that was amazing to her.
Robin read some news about Anthony Weiner and the girls he was texting. Howard told Gary to arrange a beauty pageant with the girls who he has texted. Howard said he really would love it if he would call into the show. He created a conversation with Weiner using his megaphone. Howard was playing himself and Anthony Weiner talking to him about his cock. Gary came in and talked about what a good politician he is and how he had called into the show one time during the merger. Gary said that it really is game over for him now that all of this has come out. They spent a couple of minutes on that before Howard did a live commercial.
Robin got back to her news about Anthony Weiner and had some audio of some people talking about that.
Robin had some audio of an official talking about us pulling out of Afghanistan.
Robin had a story about Wesley Snipes and his court case about not paying taxes between 1999 and 2004. Robin said he reportedly took in $37 million in those years. Howard said he should be happy to pay those taxes on that money. He said he's still going to have millions and have a great life.
Howard said he had Underdog Lady on the phone. It was Rachel Butera doing her impression of Underdog and saying that she was getting pictures of someone's penis. She said that he sent her a picture one week ago. Howard thanked her for the call and said that was an excellent impression of Underdog.
Robin said she was in London last week and they were wrapping up their version of ''Britain's Got Talent'' and Simon Cowell was upset with the judges because the talent was so poor. Howard said it's a very small place. They don't have the number of people we do over here. Robin said that Simon put them in their place and said that the talent on the show was really awful and he might have more heads rolling from that show if that's the kind of talent they're going to pick. Howard did another live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about Lady Gaga selling more than a million copies of her new album in a week. Robin said that's a big deal now.
Robin had an update for Pia from American Idol who is working on an album.
Robin also read some news about Heather Graham returning to movies. She had some audio of her talking about that but Howard didn't last long listening.
Robin had some audio of someone from the new X-Men movie talking about that. Howard said he can't wait for his weekend because he's going to go see that movie.
Robin said there's a new John Carpenter movie called ''The Ward'' coming out. Howard said he can't wait for ''Super 8'' to come out. Robin said she's looking forward to this one. She had some audio of John Carpenter talking about why he took some time off. He was complaining about doing it back to back for 40 years and he had no life during that time. Howard asked who hasn't given up their life to make a living? He said some people don't hear themselves when they speak.
Robin read about America's Got Talent returning and had some audio of Piers Morgan talking about that. Howard listened to those clips and said he likes that show.
Robin said that ''The Voice'' is still going on. She asked Howard what's going on with that show. Howard told her what he knows about what's happening. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:05am.
Gary said this morning they were talking about what was coming up on the show today before the show started. Then Benjy walks in on the crutches and he's panting and sweating. Gary said if you didn't know what went on then you'd be wondering what Benjy was up to. He said that you'd think he was pulling some kind of stunt.
Gary said he spoke to Benjy last night and he didn't go to the hospital because he didn't want to sit around waiting for 5 hours. JD said he was laughing at Benjy this morning and he felt bad but he couldn't help it. He was moving really slow and it was funny.
Jon wondered why he came in this morning. Gary said he gets what he was going for. He said he wanted a better doctor than he would have gotten at the emergency room.
Jason said there was no way Benjy was going to miss out on his big day today. He had to be there for the press conference discussion. Jason said that Benjy also got a good doctor thanks to being on the air this morning.
Jason said that Benjy looked like he had just come from the war and he was injured all over and not just his ankle. Jason said he's putting all of his body weight on the crutches and propelling himself forward and that's not the right way to do it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it was just a matter of time before Benjy got hit. He said that he didn't deserve it but people get annoyed when it comes to things of that nature. Jason said he's not sure how physical it got but if he was there and he had something like that happen during a shoot, he might push a guy out of the way too. Gary said it sounds like he got a bike chain whipped around his ankle.
Jason said that Robin was looking at Benjy's ankle and she said the story Kerri told made more sense now. Jason said he thinks it's hilarious what Benjy did but he should expect people to push him around if he does that.
Gary said he saw Benjy walk in front of the camera and recorded the press conference. He said that his family watched it about 5 times because it was so funny.
Jason said that Sal and Richard did a thing on camera once but they were standing behind the reporter. Benjy invaded the space of this reporter so that's a little different. He said he's not sure what the law is but if he's going to get in someone's physical space like that he should expect that someone might do something.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Benjy's antics at the press conference were hilarious. Jon said he doesn't think anyone there is questioning that. Gary said Benjy makes him laugh hard when he hits it out of the park like that.
Jon said that Benjy was kind of distracting in the studio when he went to the bathroom. Gary said he thought that someone had turned on the Sybian at full blast.
Jon talked about the rant Howard went on with Benjy about his ex-girlfriend and how her boyfriend must not feel threatened by him at all. Gary wondered who else would come over to help him if she didn't. Jason said he could have called other people. Jason said his wife has a male friend and he feels perfectly safe with leaving her alone with him. He said that he knows that nothing is going to happen. Jason said he knows what Howard is talking about. Gary said the only weird thing about that girl is that she was with Benjy. He said she was very smart and normal other than that one odd thing. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked about why he was saying he didn't call the show. Gary said they got a call from a publicist that he was available. He said that they called him physically but they didn't call him, it was his people who had them call him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he respects Gary tremendously and they all deserve what they get there. The caller also said that this Frank guy is a piece of shit. He said that he's acting like some kind of martyr and he's just a bullshit artist. Gary said the best way to get to the truth is to have The Situation on with him too. Gary said he's refusing to call Frank ''The Confrontation'' anymore too.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that The Situation should take care of his father and he's going to go through that money like god knows what. Gary said maybe they didn't have a great relationship and there is no obligation there.
Another caller said that he thinks Frank was intimidated and he will go back to being that asshole guy again on other shows. He said Howard can be scary to some people. Gary said he's really not a scary guy.
The caller also said he thinks that Ronnie inspired Benjy to do what he did and he was doing it all for Twitter followers. He said that Ronnie is swooping in and getting pilots for TV shows when everyone else is more talented and famous than him. Jason said Benjy is good for one of these things a year. He said it's not really new for him. He just spaces it out.
Jon asked Gary if he's nervous in front of Howard all the time or just at 5:30 in the morning. Gary said he's very comfortable around Howard. He gets nervous when Howard hears him making some strange sound. Gary said he's been getting better with the throat clearing lately. He said that Howard doesn't intimidate him all the time. It's when Howard asks him ''What are you doing'' that he gets intimidated.
Jon said that Tim had said that his motorcycling is like Howard's meditation. Howard disagreed with that of course.
Jon asked if everyone had met Tim's new assistant. The guys all said they had. Jon said he had heard about Jared getting promoted but he's not sure what that means. Jason said he's happy for him but he's not sure what it means either. Gary said he thinks that he's helping to run the channels more instead of booking flights and things like that.
Jason said that he heard Howard tell Jared not to baby sit Tim last year so he's wondering if he has stopped that and he hired a babysitter for Tim. Jon wondered if Tim is still all over the place. Gary said Tim came to him and asked if Howard really thinks that he's not on top of things. Gary said he thinks that he is on top of it and Howard is just needling him. Jason said that Tim is able to juggle a lot of balls there and he doesn't think that the bike trip did anything to change that. They took another break after that.
Jon asked Lauren what she thinks so far. She said that they all seem to be very on top of their game and she didn't know how to picture it today. She said it was very seedless and that's why she wanted to come out and see him and shadow him. Jon asked how it was meeting Howard. She said she didn't think she would get to meet him. She said it wasn't on her Bucket List but she can cross it off now anyway.
Jon asked if Gary can shadow her at Jets camp. Lauren said she thinks that Gary could come over and spend some time there. Gary said he's going to go over this summer.
Jon interrupted since Tim Sabean was in. Jon asked Tim about his motorcycle trip and what was going with that being like his meditation. Tim said you have to totally focus on the road and that's what he was talking about. He said he enjoys that and he likes ripping around. He said in meditation you have to repeat a mantra and you do the same thing on a bike.
Tim said there were several grave sites out there. He said he went over the handlebars once himself too. He said he thought he could get around it and he ended up going over the handlebars. He didn't even get hurt. He said he shook it off and kept going.
Gary said that Tim seemed to be very upset with what Howard said about him not being focused. Tim said that he really was upset by that. He said their jobs there are like a lifestyle, not a job. He said they're there from 4am until 7 or 8 at night. He said they have a lot of work to do there.
Jon asked Tim what's going on with the Black on Black show. Tim said he's working on getting them paid and he's trying to get in touch with Big Black. He said his phone system is full so he can't leave a message.
Jon asked Tim how he posted that video upside down. Tim said he was shaking after riding at 50-60 miles per hour and he wasn't paying attention to the way he was holding the phone. He said it was a great experience. He got in a plug for the group he went on the ride with and got out of there.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she has friends who do the Baja run. She said she has friends who do it and they feel the same way that Tim does. Jason said he doesn't get why he had to go to Mexico. He said there are deserts in the United States. The caller said sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. She said that when you're on the bike in the desert you have to concentrate on it. Jason said Tim needed to get away from the East Coast for a while.
Jim Florentine was visiting so the guys talked to him for a minute. Jim has a son and he said he lets his kid do anything he wants. Gary asked if Aunt Robin had met him yet. Jim said she hasn't. He said he's doing his one man show ''I'm Your Savior'' at the Player's Theater next week. He told the guys about what he talks about in the show and said he has a slide show he does in that. Jim said that he
Jon asked Jim if he was surprised by Robin's story about taking the Ayahuasca thing. Jim said he wasn't surprised at all. He said he and Robin have a friend by the name of Gypsy who is a healer. He said that he'll find the crap that's going on in your life and he'll help get it out of you. He said that he doesn't go to the guy so much anymore since he costs $250 a pop and he has a kid now. Jim said that you do have to do work on your life after going to the healer. He said that it's the same thing as going to Dr. Sarno. It's all mental. They had to end the show. Jim had a bunch of plugs for upcoming shows. You can find out more at JimFlorentine.com.
Howard started the show talking about how he and Robin went to see X-Men First Class and it's the best one he's seen. Robin said she wasn't a fan of the original X-Men but this one was so good. She said she wasn't even going to go see it but it blew her away. Howard said it was a good story and it was seamless. Howard said they were using super powers and you don't even think about the special effects. He said the technology of the filmmaker's was great.
Howard said Kevin Bacon was great in it. He said it might be the best acting role he's had. He said that he was great in that and in the HBO movie (Taking Chance). Howard said he's the heart and soul of this X-Men movie. Howard said he was fabulous.
Howard said that he gives a big recommendation for this one. He said the movie made $56 million to take the number one spot but they think of it as a failure because it didn't live up to the first X-Men. He said he thinks everyone should see it though. Robin said she thinks it has legs.
Howard said everyone is screaming for his head and he was thinking about it. He said that it doesn't make it right but he knows guys. He said guys can function even when they are thinking about their dicks. He said that 99 percent of men have done stupid things when it comes to sex. He said that they don't realize how valuable their wives and kids are. He said their dicks take over. Howard said he's not going to say he doesn't understand Anthony Weiner. He said he was only married 11 months and people will ask why he didn't wait for 5 years. Some guys cheat on their honeymoons.
Howard said John F. Kennedy was one of the greatest presidents and he was having sex with Mafia girlfriends. He said politicians have done this. He said Bill Clinton got a blow job from an intern and he stayed President. Howard said he could probably still get elected today if he ran. He said that Weiner could survive this thing. Howard said Reverend Al Sharpton is welcomed at President Obama's White House and he's got a very questionable past. Reverend Jesse Jackson does too. He said they're all doing just fine and everyone forgets the scandals.
Howard said Weiner could survive this and he's not even saying he'll be a bad Congressman. Robin said he was good before so why would this change it? She asked how many people think the internet sexting is cheating. Howard said he does. Howard said there's no doubt in his mind that it's cheating. He said he's in a pretty good marriage and he doesn't have to do that but there may be guys on his staff who do.
Howard said women are smarter about emotional issues than men. They value relationships more. Robin said it's not smartness, they're just wired differently. Howard said they value their relationships and they don't want to hurt their kids or husband. He said there are women who cheat their brains out but they think that they have the right to do that.
Howard said Weiner is going to be able to get through this if he gets help. Robin asked how many people want him to leave office. Howard said he read the poll and 51 percent want him to stay. He said those 51 percent are probably the men.
Howard said Ted Kennedy ran away from killing a woman and he was probably drunk driving when he did it. Howard said the guy went home and went to sleep. Fred said he swam to the mainland, got a hotel, got some sleep and then went to the police station the next day and gave his side of the story. Howard said in the history of scandal this guy sexting a picture of his cock in his underwear isn't so bad. He said compared to what we've seen it's not so bad. He said it's not good that he's lying. He said people can blackmail you and things like that when you do things like this.
Howard said that he likes this new Weiner because he can vote against indecency now. Gary said Scott DePace disagrees with him wholeheartedly. DePace came in to talk about it. Howard said Weiner is a dummy. Scott said that the guy lied to all of them. Howard told Scott that if someone asks you if you're sexting you say no of course. He said that you don't admit to it if you have a wife and kids. Howard said he handled it as badly as Richard Nixon. Howard said if Nixon had come clean it wouldn't have been so bad. He said he lied and it made things worse.
Howard said Newt Gingrich is another one. He said that he's been resurrected after what he did. Howard said that Bill Clinton isn't into his wife and they stay together. Howard said that finding out someone is sexting shows that it's dumb but look at history and look at the guys we forgive. He said Bill Clinton is a great example. Scott said that they've lost our trust though. Howard said this poor fucker didn't even get to fuck any of these girls. Howard said that doesn't mean he's a bad congressman. Howard said Bill Clinton didn't go anywhere. He stayed and now he's beloved.
Scott said he can't believe that they'd be able to find anything Weiner says believable. Howard said he's not defending what he did. He said that Scott went to Lucky Changs and had a man on his lap kissing him. Scott said he posed for a picture. He said he didn't even know his wife at that point. Howard said it was a dumb move though. Scott said he wasn't married at the time. Howard said he probably wishes it never happened. Scott said he didn't do anything wrong. Howard told Scott to go back and push buttons now.
Howard said he hears Scott's point of view. Robin said that we don't allow people to be who they are. People have human weaknesses.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Newt Gingrich spent a billion dollars to go after Bill Clinton so he can never forgive him. He asked Howard if this puts us all in a bad position if we do forgive this guy. Howard said we'd like to believe that these politicians aren't real men and don't jerk off and things like that. He said that they are men and they do that. Howard said people say things to get elected and they act a certain way to get elected. He said that's the hypocrisy of people. He said that people will call him gross and disgusting like they don't have sexual desires and don't think the same things he does. Howard said he just puts it out there for people. Howard said he's the only one who has ever jerked off. He said you'd think that he was a pedophile the way people respond to him.
Howard said that Wolfie went out and asked if Howard Stern or Arnold Schwarzenegger was a better father. Arnold beat him out. Howard said all he does is admit that he masturbates and has sexual thoughts about strippers. He said he asks about anal and women freak out.
Howard played some of the Wolfie interviews where he asked about Howard or Arnold being better fathers. One woman immediately said that was an easy one and said Arnold. Howard said no advertising agency will hire him to do a TV commercial. Howard said he doesn't need that but their image of him is that he's despised. They think he's gross and a scumbag. It's because of his honesty.
Robin said that sites like RadarOnline want to post every little thing that Weiner said to these women. That's the problem. Robin said that every guy who is sexed up is a moron. She said she's seen Howard out there hanging around women and she can't look at them after that. Howard said he knows that thing that happens. He said you get lost and hooked into it and he knows how that feels.
Howard did his Bill Clinton impression and explained what that was like for him and how he had to go to his wife and buy her jewelry and a bag or two. He had Bill talking about how you have to walk into a room and make people think your shit doesn't stink.
Robin said that Howard was thinking that Weiner hasn't even masturbated since he got caught. Howard said that's going to last for about 2 weeks. He said that he's got to shut down and get into his wife. Robin said he was probably the kind of guy who had to masturbate 3 or 4 times a day. Howard said he'd like to know if he's tried to kiss his wife. Robin thinks he has. Howard said he doesn't think so.
Howard did more of his Clinton voice and talked about the Gennifer Flowers thing. He said it would be great if politicians really talked like that. He had Clinton talking about Monica Lewinsky and putting his foot up her ass and licking her pussy for 2 hours. Howard said he's the man.
Howard asked Benjy for an update on his leg. He said he was attacked while he was out interrupting a reporter doing a live shoot out on the street.
Benjy said it's a third degree sprain and nothing is broken. He said that it could take a couple of months to heal. He said there are some things torn in there and he's hoping for a speedy healing. He said he was at home crying yesterday from the pain. Howard said he couldn't have been in that much pain if he came to work and sat through the whole show. He said he just had to come into the show to enjoy that moment at the Anthony Weiner press conference clip.
Benjy said that's not what it was. He said he waited until he found a doctor. He said Doug Goodstein found a guy for him and he was great. Benjy said he got a prescription for Vicodin but he's not going to take it unless it gets really bad. Howard said that stuff never really works anyway.
Howard said he saw they took away the medical license from the doctor who got Octomom knocked up. He was happy to see that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who is worse, a guy who lies about going to war or a sexting guy. Howard said George W. Bush lied about what he did in the military. He said that might be even worse. Howard said the guy sent people to war over lies.
The caller asked Robin if she would ever go on Bill Maher's show and promote her 15 Foundation. Robin said sure she would. The caller said he thinks that it would help with the relationship with Howard and Bill. Howard said he's not that interested in that. He said Bill doesn't like him and he thinks he might be mad at him for not doing a TV show project with him. Howard said he thinks it has to do with him needing to do the show years ago and now he doesn't need that. Howard said he likes Bill though. He said Bill is the one who got the weird attitude with him. He said he started calling him an idiot and things like that. Howard said he likes his stand up and things like that. He said that Bill wanted him to do a MILF beauty pageant kind of show and he didn't want to do it.
Howard said he used to make fun of Bill about his womanizing too so maybe that was part of it too. Robin said there was a time when they took him to task about saying the 9/11 hijackers were brave. Howard and Robin went over that again.
Howard said brave to him is when you have something to lose and you take a stand. He said the guys in the armed forces are brave. He said it's such a silly thing to have a falling out over. He said he just disagrees with him about something.
Howard said the ultimate stomach punch was Lady Gaga coming up to record an interview with Gayle King. He said it wasn't Oprah, it was Oprah's best friend. Howard said he likes Gayle but she's Oprah's best friend. No one cares about her and Lady Gaga together. Howard said everyone was abuzz in the halls there yesterday. He said they were taping a show that no one is going to hear.
Howard said there are three things there that people listen to. It's Howard 100, Howard 101 and Raw Dog comedy. He said that he's got a lawsuit going on there and now they're treating him like crap. Howard said that they were having this attitude like ''Ha ha, we got her and you didn't!'' He said that they can have that attitude and it'll lose them a job.
Howard said he was out in the hall and they were all excited about that. He said they had a piano out and Lady Gaga didn't even play it. He said he knows it's going to be a boring interview that no one will listen to. He said he doesn't listen to Gayle King so he doesn't know.
Robin said that Gayle lives in the same building as she does so she feels weird when he talks about her like that. Howard said that Gayle is a lovely woman but they're going around crowing that she got this interview and Howard Stern didn't. Howard said he might as well have Ross Zapin do the interview when she comes on his show. He said Oprah should have been doing that interview. He said Oprah doesn't give a shit about Sirius XM.
Howard said that Scott Greenstein was running around all excited about what was going on. He said he shouldn't be so excited. No one will hear the interview. Howard said that people are listening to Howard 100 and 101. Howard said he ran into a woman who just subscribed to Sirius because she wanted to hear what he was saying about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Howard said no one bought Sirius before he got there. They had 600,000 subscribers when he got there. He said that things were almost done for Sirius before they hired him. Howard said he was supposed to be a partner in all of this. Now they're saying they don't owe him anything. Howard said he's just like Gayle King to them. Howard told Robin to tell Gayle that he's the same as her.
Robin said that getting angry at Gayle isn't the way to go. Robin said she's going to hear how Howard was screaming at her. Howard said he feels for Gayle. He said that he's just another employee around there. Howard said you'd think he was Oprah's best friend. He said they treat Gayle better than they treat him. He said ''That's not Oprah, it's her best friend mother fuckers!''
Howard said Scott Greenstein is going around there kissing the ass of some Japanese guy from some band. He said that no one wants to credit the guy who brought them to where they're at. He said they want to think it's them. Howard said ''It's me, not you.''
Howard said when he first got there the halls were applauding him. He said that they knew they could keep their jobs. Howard said they were thanking him for saving them. He said it wasn't the Swedish channel that saved them. Howard said he's just another shit head doing a radio show. He said John Malone is a guy who gets the credit there but he didn't do anything. Howard said he would like the deal he got. He invested $400 million and he gets 5 billion in return.
Howard said the truth is that he's nuts. Howard said he understands he's not the only thing on the dial but he thought it would be nicer if he got Lady Gaga first. He said it ticked him off. He said he'd like to think that people actually heard the interview. He said there are no clips in the news, he didn't read anything about it on TMZ or PerezHilton. He said that's what he's talking about. It was a non-event.
Howard said a few people said there was a weird vibe in the air about it being a big ''ha-ha-ha'' moment for the other people there. Howard said Gayle should be interviewing that Japanese guy who they hired there. Howard said that they held a big party for him at Nobu and he sees that as them spending his money. Howard said they had catering by Nobu.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he gets him so upset talking about Sirius not paying him. Howard said he's owed money and they're saying they don't owe him any money. He said he reads his contract and he doesn't get it. The caller said that baffles him too. Howard said he thinks that he has a difference there with them and he's treated like a piece of dirt.
The caller said Sandra Bernhard was a fantastic interview yesterday. He brought up how she talked about her daughter not being allowed on Facebook and Twitter. He said he was thinking that Sandra didn't have the fame and fortune and she's just trying to protect her from that. Howard said that could be it. He had to wrap up and take a break after that.
Howard came back and said the most disturbing thing about Anthony Weiner was his shaved chest. He said that he was pretty pumped up. Robin wondered how he had time for all of this stuff. Howard said when this country was formed congressmen didn't do this full time. Howard said that they worked for 2 months and then went home to their regular jobs.
Howard said he had a couple of jockeys there. He said they're like 5'3'' tall. He said that's a perfect size for a woman.
Howard had the guys come in and said that he's got them there to give them some props. Howard asked the guys when they start doing this. One of the guys said that they start around 15. Robin asked why so many are from South America. The one guy said he's not sure why so many are from South America.
Howard asked who the greatest jockey who ever lived was. The guy mentioned a couple of names. His name was Ramone. The other guy was Jesus. Howard said that Jesus won the Preakness.
Howard asked the guys if the hardest thing to do is stay thin. Ramone said it's not so bad. Howard asked if they throw up before they ride. Jesus said he doesn't do that.
Howard asked the guys what they eat. Ramone said he eats toast and coffee and that keeps him going all day. Robin asked where they race. Ramone said he races at Belmont Park. He said there are other places around and he can race every day if he wants.
Howard said he heard that Ramone is worth 5 million. Ramone said it's not even close. Jesus said he's not close either. Howard asked if they can become millionaires. Ramone said that there might be some. He said that some of the guys make a good living.
Howard asked Ramone how much they can make doing this. Ramone said they get a portion of the purse. Sometimes the purse can be a million and they can get 10 percent of 60 percent of the purse. He said they have to pay their agent and other people so they walk away with maybe half of that. Howard said this is bullshit. He said that's a dangerous job.
Howard asked Ramone what he has to weigh to race. Ramone said he has to be around 115 pounds and he's 5'6'' tall. Ramone said that the weights are pre-determined so he has to get to the weight. Howard asked how long they can do this. Ramone said he's 34 now and Jesus is 38. Howard asked if they're socking away money so they can live when they get to be 50. Ramone said that's the plan.
Howard found out both of them are married. He asked if there are racing groupies. Ramone laughed. He said he's been married for 10 years. Jesus said that his wife is shorter than him. Howard said they should have women 6'1'' tall.
Gary came in and asked if the horses know they won when they win a race. Ramone said he's not sure. He said he has a hard time believing they know. Howard asked Gary what he's talking about. Gary said that was KC's question.
Howard asked if they have to be horse whisperers to do this job. Jesus said that they're not. He said that the horse is able to feel you and they can get nervous if you get nervous. He said their job is to be relaxed. Howard asked when they start doing this kind of work. Jesus said his father was a trainer in Mexico. He said that he got him into it.
Ramone said he got on a horse and thought it was fun. Howard asked if he's ever fallen off. Ramone said he has many times. Howard asked how fast they can go. They go up to 40 miles per hour. Howard said sometimes they clip each other too.
Howard said his dad goes to the track every day and the only time he won't go is during the sweepstakes. He asked if the racing is dying off these days. Ramone said he doesn't think so and he hopes not.
Howard asked if any mob guys have ever come to them and told them to throw a race. Ramone said he thinks those days are over. Howard said they should throw a race and bring that back. Ramone told Howard to make him a winner.
Howard asked Jesus and Ramone who would win if they raced each other. Ramone said hopefully he would. Jesus said ''good luck.'' The guys said that they're actually very good friends.
Howard asked if the guys ever see each other naked in the locker room. Ramone said of course they have. Howard asked who has the bigger penis. Ramone laughed. Howard said he always hated showering with other men because his penis is so small. Jesus said he doesn't look so he doesn't know. Howard said you'd think that he'd look down there after a big race.
Howard asked if the women are there at the stalls looking for jockeys. Ramone said that it's not like that. Howard asked when they first got laid. He guessed 15 for Jesus. Jesus said he was 16. Howard asked if they're like rock stars. Ramone said they're really not.
Howard asked if they can get two girls in bed at the same time. Ramone said he guesses he could but he's married just like Howard. Howard asked if he could do it before he got married. Ramone said he's sure they could but he wasn't saying he did.
Howard asked the guys what they're up to because they're in a calendar with their shirts off. Howard took a look at the calendar and asked who was on the cover. Ramone said that's Gary Gomez. Howard asked whose crazy idea this was. Ramone said he's not sure who it was but they're trying to raise money for disabled jockeys. Howard said he thought they were pocketing the cash. He wished them luck with the calendar. He gave them a plug for that and said that they'll be signing copies at Belmont Park on Saturday morning. Howard asked if they're in the calendar. Ramone is but Jesus isn't in there this year. Ramone said hopefully Jesus will be in it next year. Ramone said they'll be selling them at Belmont Park on Saturday. They're also available at BlackLinerProductions.com. Howard wished them luck with that.
Howard took a call from Irish John who asked if they get hit in the nuts racing. Howard asked if they wear a cup. Ramone said they kind of stand up so they don't get hit in the balls. John asked if the vibration gives them an erection.
Howard had George Takei clips on the phone. He was speaking in Spanish in the clips. Howard asked if he had a question for the boys. They had George moaning and not really saying much of anything.
Howard asked the guys if they move their bowels before the race. Jesus said that if you can you do it because every bit counts. He said that some people take diuretics to pee before the races. Howard said this is a difficult life and he knows that. Ramone said it's also a great life. He said he likes riding and that's the great part. He said he would do it all over again if he had to.
Howard asked if the guys wanted to be taller when they were growing up. Jesus said he did take zinc hoping to get taller when he was growing up. He said it doesn't bother him now. Howard asked if they get less respect being shorter. Jesus said he's very happy being who he is. He said he does have to shop in the boys department though. Howard said they must be filled with envy when they see a 6'5'' tall man like himself.
Howard had Little Lupe audio clips on the phone talking about how she likes anal and things like that. Howard wrapped up with them a short time later and went to break.
Howard said he was listening to the Wrap Up Show yesterday and Tim Sabean was talking about motorcycling being like transcendental meditation to him. Howard played some of the audio where Tim explained what riding a dirt bike is like for him. He was saying that it's relaxing but Howard said that it's not relaxing, it's stressful. He said that Tim has never done TM so he doesn't know what it's like. It puts you at ease, it doesn't create stress. He said it's the complete opposite of his meditation.
Howard said Tim is saying that it puts everything out of his mind but that's not what TM does. He said TM makes you think about a lot of things. Robin said he's not doing it right then.
Howard said TM isn't about concentration. It's about not concentrating. Howard played more of the audio and Tim was telling Gary and Jon about how he enjoys ripping around on the dirt bikes. He said you push thoughts out of your head. Howard asked what Tim is talking about. That's not what TM is about.
Howard said they never did talk about Tim leaving his doody in the toilet there. He said maybe Tim should be banned from the bathroom. Robin said he should be banned. Howard said Tim claims he doesn't look in the toilet after he goes but he doesn't believe that. Howard said that bathroom is for people who do look down after they take a dump. That means ''No Tim.''
Howard said people's feelings are hurt when they ban them from that bathroom. Howard said he takes his job seriously and that bathroom used to be a gathering place for people from all over Sirius. Howard said it was like a big coffee klatch. Howard said he was protecting his business by banning people from there. Robin said everyone had access to it so it wasn't a very secure place.
Howard said he created a lot of enemies there when he banned people. He said Ross Zapin thinks that it's personal. He said he's brought it up to him. Howard said he's not letting him back in. Howard said Ross tells him he will never shit like Tim does but he does want to shit in there. Howard said no one wants to shit in the public bathroom.
Howard said he treats this thing he has very seriously. He said he will never take a dollar from the company if his heart isn't in it. He said that's how honest he is. He said he saw a lot of monkey business going on over there.
Lisa said that Ronnie has been talking to Don Buchwald about representing him. She said that Gary is also out on tour for his book ''They Call Me Baba Booey'' and he'll be on Conan O'Brien on Thursday and in Pittsburgh on Saturday. Lisa said Howard 100 News will be there.
Howard said he hasn't seen Conan since he moved to TBS. Howard said he doesn't stay up that late to catch the show and he doesn't record it.
Lisa said that Sal and Richard got another shout out on General Hospital last week. She said that one of the writers is a huge fan of the show and she put it in as an homage to Howard. Robin said that show has been canceled. They're apparently trying to go out with a bang.
Lisa said that Benjy was identified as Benjy Shiftman in some of the news reports about the Anthony Weiner press conference. Benjy said that's the name he was giving out though so it wasn't really a mistake.
Howard said Miss Howard Stern is looking for a guy who makes a lot of money. He said she called in upset but no one is sure what she's talking about. Howard said she was upset with Gary over something he said and it was something about the amount of money a guy has to make.
Howard played the audio of Miss Howard Stern's voice mail where she's going on and on talking about something that no one understood. Howard said if you do want to marry Andrea just email them at Contest@howardstern.com. They're trying to find someone for her. Gary said Will says they've gotten a lot of entries already.
Howard played more of Andrea's voice mail and she was calling Gary out about something. She said she loves Howard as she was saying goodbye. Robin said she was talking to the answering machine like she was talking to a live person.
Bobo called in to tell Howard how great he was in the behind the scenes show on Howard TV. Howard said they have a second episode out now. Howard said he knows that he's going to get a bunch of shit for complaining about having to go do that show that day. He was sick and he was bummed that he was sick that day. Howard had to cut Bobo off because he was so annoying. Robin said Bobo is on his side too.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked how the new shitter is treating him. Howard said the Toto toilet is pretty cool actually. He said you have a remote control and the seat is warm when you sit on it. He said they have them all over Japan and they're just now starting to get them here in the States.
Howard said he had it installed and thought it was kind of weird at first. He said the seat is warm and then the air gets sucked down so you don't smell anything. Howard said he doesn't smell it at all now. He said there is no reason for a courtesy flush.
Howard said he will take a dump and he doesn't have a clean clip off sometimes. He said there are two water settings on the Toto. He said there's vibrate and pulsate. He said he wants the power hose up his ass so he puts it in the highest setting with a constant stream. Then he spreads wide open and you push a button where you can point the water where you want it. He said he has to shift around to get the hairs in front too. He said the thing starts to blow out the water. He said the water goes right up your ass. He said that he just let the thing do it's thing and read a book while it was working.
Howard said the thing finished and the drier came on. Then he stood up and looked into the bowl to see the remnants. He said there's a pile of fine soot from what it blew out of his ass. He said he likes to look at what it pulled out of him. He said he talks out loud to the toilet after that.
Howard said he does a check after the toilet does its thing. He said that he flushes and then gets some baby wipes. He checks the outer rim and it's always clean. Then when he pokes he still finds remnants. He said he still has to wipe but he's using less now. Howard said he enjoys it but he still has to wipe.
Howard said he wanted to sit on the toilet to put his shoes on and he almost crashed through the toilet because the seat is kind of thin plastic.
Robin asked how long this takes. Howard said it was about as long as a whole chapter of Jim Breuer's book (I'm Not High: (But I've Got a Lot of Crazy Stories about Life as a Goat Boy, a Dad, and a Spiritual Warrior)). He said he was reading that while he was waiting for the toilet to do its job. He said the book is good and he likes it. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and had Steve-O come in. Howard said he's written a book. Howard said he's looking healthier than he's looked in a long time. Steve said he's doing great. Howard asked if it's hard dealing with reality. Steve said it can be hard. He said that's life. Howard said one of the facts in his book is that he's never gotten an STD. He doesn't have herpes or anything. Steve said he's as perplexed by it as Howard is. Steve said he's been exposed to a lot of shit but some people just don't get it. Robin said that maybe he's immune to it. Steve said he thinks that he must have been exposed to everything.
Howard said Steve talks about going to the University of Miami and he should have gotten an A in every class because it's such a party school.
Steve tells a story in the book about how he was at a party on a second floor balcony telling a girl how he was going to be a great stunt man. He fell off the balcony to show off and he broke his cheekbone and 7 teeth and got a broken wrist. Howard said everyone thought he had died. Steve said he was face down on the concrete with a pool of blood growing around his head. This was in February 1995. He said it was before Jackass and all of that. Steve said his buddies came down and pulled out the weed he had in his pocket. He said they figured he might need it the next day so they saved it.
Howard said Steve wanted to be a pothead and he aspired to that. Robin asked what attracts him to that. Steve said he had been a skate board kid. Howard cut him off and said his childhood was really fucked up. He said his mom was an alcoholic and he probably smoked pot to escape all of that.
Steve said he was big into skate boarding and his friends were too. He said he was too insecure to keep that going when his friends stopped doing it. He said he figured he could find a new identity if he did that. Howard said he did that too when he was in high school. He said that he grew long hair so girls would figure he smoked pot.
Howard said Steve talks about his mother being an alcoholic and claiming she had cancer when she didn't actually have it. She was trying to cover up and she lied to the whole family about that. Steve said he doesn't remember how they found out she was lying but he does remember being told she had cancer.
Howard said Steve describes in the book his father taking his pot away from him and Steve complained about it so his dad paid him back. Steve said he complained that he needed 15 pounds, because he was in school in England, and his father paid him back. He just went out and got more.
Steve talks about how his life was like one big suicide attempt. Howard said he described one moment when he tried turning on the car and killing himself that way but he ran out of money so he didn't have money for gas in his car. Steve said it was kind of funny that at the moment he wanted to kill himself the most was when he didn't have money for gas.
Howard said Steve was broke, unemployed and homeless when Jackass was a big hit on MTV. Howard said fame doesn't mean that you have money. He said it must have been distressing for Steve. Steve said that it was. He said that his pay rate was if they were doing a stunt that was life threatening they got $500. He said if it was a comedy skit they got $200. He said the first thing he ever did was swallow a goldfish and puked it into a fish bowl. He said the reality is that it's very dangerous and you can choke on it and die. He said at the end of the production week he wrote down ''Goldfish'' and wrote down $200. He didn't want to write down $500 because he wanted to be a bad ass.
Howard said Steve talks about being homeless for 3 years in the book. Steve said he was a couch surfer and he wasn't really homeless. He said the difference between a homeless guy and a couch surfer is the social skills.
Howard asked if he was jealous of Johnny Knoxville since he got so much notoriety for being the leader of the group. Steve said it wasn't like that. He said that he was just happy he was going to be famous and on MTV.
Howard said Johnny is pretty beaten up and he seems to be a normal guy outside of that show. Howard said when the guys met Steve they couldn't deal with him because he was so nuts. Howard asked why that was. Steve said he was just overwhelming. He said there was no separation between working and not. He said he was like this all the time. Howard said he understands that. He said Steve is out of his mind 24/7.
Howard asked Steve if he has a girlfriend. He has a woman with him today. Steve said he's not with her. He said that she's just a friend. He said that Bam Margera introduced him to her. He said he's vegan now and so is this girl. Steve said he's been on a comedy tour for 8 months so he's been busy. Howard asked if he's dangerous on stage. Steve said he's doing stunts on stage. He said the night he was there last he did a gig at the Comedy Cellar. He said the phone started ringing after that and everyone wanted him to headline. He said he's been on tour ever since. Steve said he does like 30 minutes of comedy and then does 30 minutes of fucked up stunts.
Steve told Howard that this chick that's with him today was with him last time. He said he can't tell Howard he's nailing her. He said that he thought he needed a medic at one point and this girl was there to help. Steve said when he left there last time he needed some stitches. He said he didn't have time to go to the hospital so she's there to patch him up if he does something crazy. Howard said he didn't want him doing that.
Howard read more about Steve and how crappy his deals were with the Jackass movies. Steve said he still lives like a pauper. Howard asked if that's because of the drug use or is he really not getting paid. Steve said he still lives in a 2 bedroom apartment.
Howard said he read that his managers took out a 3 million dollar life insurance policy and they were the benefactors. Steve said that was a long time ago. Steve said that he has a serious resentment about that. Steve said in 2002 he got arrested on some charges and he didn't have the money to get out. He said they reduced his bail after a few days and this shady lawyer and manager guy told him that he had to be clean when he got tested. Steve said he cleaned up and the lawyer told him that this was probably the only time they were going to be able to get him a clean drug test for the rest of his life. They wanted to take out life insurance and other stuff while he was clean. Steve said that he didn't want to know if he had any gnarly type of diseases or anything. He also didn't want to know if he was healthy. He said he told the guy not to tell him.
Steve said he told him that he wanted his sole beneficiary to be his new born niece. Steve said he got a call from the insurance company a few weeks later and they asked for the follow up interview. He said he got insured and it was for 3 million and the guys were named as the beneficiaries. Howard said that was incentive for him to die. Steve said he looked at the policy and the application and it said his niece's name but scrawled over it was the other names and it was the shadiest thing in the world.
Howard said he writes about Shaquille O'Neil trying to sign him into some deal where he'd get 80 percent of his deal. Steve said they're really shady deals that he was involved with. Steve said that Jackass was fresh out and Shaq was going to do a segment for the show. He said that Shaq pulled him into his trailer and he tried to talk him into the deal. Steve said he showed the deal to his dad and his dad told him it wasn't a good deal.
Steve asked if he has notes about the time the tranny sucked his dick in DC. Howard said he did see that. Steve laughed.
Howard said Steve got pussy almost over night when the show became a hit. Howard asked if he was high all the time when he was doing that. Steve said he sure was and he was a premature ejaculator too. Steve said one girl he really liked got away. He said her name was Candy. He said she was the real special one. Howard asked if he called her when he got out of rehab. Steve said he did talk to her. He said that he let her know that he didn't feel good about the way things went down. He said he was trying to make it right and he was kind of trying to get back together with her.
Howard asked if she was a stripper. Steve said she wasn't actually. He said they were very young at the time and he was flying all over the world at the time. Steve said that she was following him around and he felt he had to get out of her life before he ruined it. He said he loved her and he broke up with her in such a dramatic way because of that. Steve said his dad told him that he was proud of him for doing that and letting her have her own life.
Howard said Steve talks about having psychosis and hearing voices in his head. He let her go when that was going on. Howard said she must be in a healthier place now.
Howard gave Steve some plugs for his book ''Professional Idiot: A Memoir'' and said he'll be signing copies today at Barnes and Noble on 5th Ave. there in New York City.
Howard asked Steve if he's a wealthy man now. Steve was busy with Robin asking why she's hating on him so much lately. Howard had to ask him a few times if he's doing okay now. Steve hesitated to say what he wanted to say about getting paid on the last Jackass movie. Steve said they gave them a very small percentage of the back end and some money up front. He said they're still waiting around on the back end money.
Howard asked if he's a main player or is Johnny the big one. Steve said the order goes Johnny, Bam and then him. He said when it all started Bam had a thing going on already. He said that Johnny merged with Bam so it got started like that. He said that it made more sense back then more than it does now.
Howard asked Steve about wrapping himself in Saran Wrap and having people pee on him. Howard missed that one. Steve said they did that for a ''Too Hot For TV'' video he did.
Howard asked Steve about going to clown college. Steve claims that it's harder to get in than Harvard. Steve said he was going there and his cousin was going to learn to be a mortician. He said their mothers would sit around drinking and arguing over who the bigger loser was.
Howard said that Steve used to do cruise ship shows when he was a clown and they asked him to leave or the other staff would quit. Steve said he was working with other clowns and they didn't have the skills he did. He said they were always sitting around trying to write ideas that were not funny. He said he wanted to do his own thing. He said he thought about how their shit sucked and he would do his own thing and practice his juggling. Steve said he knew that he was pleasing the crowds. He said that they didn't want him there or the rest of the clowns wouldn't sign to come back.
Howard asked what his persona was. Steve said it was Steve-O the Clown. Steve said that he was the dumb clown. He said that the other clowns got him fired. Steve said he came off the cruise with like $9,000 and he bought a used car and spent the rest of the money on stilts and stuff so he could fly out and do Jackass. He said if he hadn't gotten fired he wouldn't have gotten on the show.
Howard asked Steve about getting a blow job from a Tranny. Steve said this was in DC in 2003 and after one of his big shows. He said that he was hammered and it looked like a hot chick to him. He said he remembers the shady manager with the life insurance policy out on him hitting on her and he wanted her. Steve said someone told him that she was a hermaphrodite. He said she wasn't really a chick or a dude, she was a chickdude. Steve said that he heard that she had the dude parts removed so he figured he was good to go. Steve said he brought the person back to the hotel. He said that he felt that she was very troubled and sad. Steve said that he wanted her to feel affection so he made out with her and played with her fake tits and all of that. He said that he didn't do anything with the fake pussy though. Steve said he later found out the hermaphrodite story wasn't true. He said this was a fucking dude. He said the blow job he got was under whelming. He said he expected more from a dude.
Howard said Steve had an intervention and the guys from Jackass had him locked up in a psych ward. Howard said Steve is upset with them for letting him get high for years and not doing anything. Howard said Steve implies that they should have done it earlier on. Steve said he doesn't imply that at all. He said they were all good to him and they saved his life by doing that.
Howard gave Steve some more plugs and said that Steve talks about being friends with Paris Hilton and showing her sex videos. Steve said he used to be kind of a creep. He said that he didn't fuck Paris though. Steve said that he used to tape himself having sex with chicks. He doesn't still have them but they might exist somewhere.
Howard asked why he didn't have sex with Paris Hilton. Steve said she always had a boyfriend and he just liked being able to hang out with her. He said he was just happy to be able to hang so he didn't want to ruin that. Steve said he would show her the sex videos and he thought that was pretty awesome. Howard asked if she showed him her sex tapes. Steve said he saw that shit.
Howard read about how Steve and Clay Aiken were going to do a reality show together. Steve said that they were going to be roommates and they would have to put together a state fair. He said that Clay turned it down.
Howard said that Steve talks about having a conversation with Mike Tyson about the N-word at one point. Steve said that was back in 2005. He said Mike was having problems with cocaine at the time and the two of them locked themselves in a room together. He said that he had a shit ton of coke on him and they locked themselves in this room for like 3 hours at Mike's house. He said that Mike would take a cigarette and take out all of the tobacco and fill it with coke. He said that he would smoke it that way. Steve said he was fascinated with that whole thing. Steve said they were talking and he brought up the N-word. Steve said he told mike he likes to go around calling himself that word. He said that Mike said to him that the definition of that word is anyone who would use that word.
Howard said he isn't a cocaine user so he's not sure what it's like to be in a room with someone for 3e hours. Steve said that time goes by really fast. He said that it might have been 2 hours but whatever it was it went by really fast.
Steve said when they got done with the session Mike told him that they all had him wrong, he was a really smart guy. Steve said he thought that was the best part of the whole thing.
Howard asked Steve about dating Kat Von D who is now engaged to Jesse James. Steve said he had a unique relationship with her. He said that she was drawn to him because the wheels were falling off. He said in his case he thinks that he was falling apart in a bad way and she had some kind of maternal thing going on. He said that it was more of a care giver kind of thing. Steve said that Kat is a really good person. He said she was really trying to help him. Howard said that Jesse was in there telling them about how she genuinely cares about him. Steve said he believes that. He said that she saw that he needed help and she wanted him to get better and that's why she helped him. Howard asked Steve how old he is now. Steve said he's 37 and he never thought he'd live that long.
Howard took a call but Steve was getting prepared to do a stunt. Howard asked him to please not do a stunt. Steve said he had an empty bottle there. He broke it a second later and Howard begged him not to do anything. Steve said maybe he won't do anything. He said he was assessing the situation. Howard asked him to please not do anything. Steve started to cut his head open. Steve just laughed. Howard told Ronnie to tell him to stop. Ronnie said he promised he wouldn't do anything today. Gary said that he can't put glass on his head and hit himself. Howard said he really doesn't have to do anything.
Howard said he doesn't need to see him hurt himself. Steve said Howard called him a pussy one time. Howard said he didn't do that. He said he doesn't need to do anything. He said he loves him and told him to save it for one of his crappy appearances on a cruise ship. Howard told Ronnie to do it instead. He told Ronnie to take the glass and smash it on his head with the skate board.
Howard had a caller on the line who said that Steve is doing great with his videos. He also said that he has some kind of crazy thing on his cock so he must have some kind of STD. Steve said that thing he's talking about was a piece of cocaine that he had on his cock.
Another caller said that he loves Steve and Jackass but he has to ask what happened on Bubba's show. The caller said that Bubba was kind of stiff on that. Steve said that he went to do that show with Bubba and they were excited to show the video footage that they had compiled of stunts they had done. Steve said the stunts were disturbing and kind of mean spirited to him. He told Howard what some of the stunts were and how they were kicking a soccer ball with thumb tacks on it at this guy who wasn't able to move. He said they shot him with paint ball guns and stuff and he just got a weird vibe. Steve said when he does stunts he does it to himself and he wasn't trying to be douchey or anything.
Steve said that the guy's back was turned and he could be paralyzed by what they were doing. He said he wanted out of there and didn't want to watch them doing the stunt. The caller said they were trying to impress him. Steve said he gets that but he didn't want anything to do with it.
Steve said he can't believe that he didn't get to do any stunt today. Howard said he didn't need to. Steve said maybe this is like a graduation for him and he just gets to talk now.
Steve said that he remembers a chick that he met years ago early on in the Jackass thing. He said that he had sex with her and then the next day he was shooting season 2 and he got all of his hair waxed off. He said that he was bald and the chick still wanted to be with him. He said then she was telling him that they weren't seeing other people. He said that he ended up blowing her off because of that. Howard asked why guys can't deal with that. He could have cherished her. Steve said chicks were going the extra mile for him. He said that he hooked up with one girl who pulled out his wiener and she tells him that she was in a bad car accident. He said she told him to get ready to have a really good time and then she pops out her upper teeth. She lost them in the car accident. Steve said that she went down on him and he was thinking ''Holy shit this girl isn't giving him a hummer, this is a gummer.'' He said it was incredible.
Steve said he told Knoxville and the guys about it and they had a shark stunt set up where they had a toothless shark bite him because of that. Howard tried wrapping up and gave Steve some plugs for his book and his web site SteveO.com where you can find out more about his comedy dates. Steve thanked Howard for helping him out with the comedy thing. He said that he's been on tour ever since. He said Dane Cook helps him out with his act too.
Howard said he really didn't want to see him smash his head today. Steve said he can't believe he didn't get to do a stunt for him. Howard said he's a serious author today. He told him to save that stunt for someone else. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon quickly ran down a list of today's subjects for the show.
Fred played Robin into her news with a song parody. Robin started her news with a story about the Tony Awards coming up soon. Howard said he doesn't like going to the theater. He said he hates it. He said it's a horrible experience for him. He said he'd rather go to a movie. There's too much contact in the theater. Howard said they tell him that he'd like ''The Book of Mormon'' but he's not sure he wants to sit through that or Chris Rock's play either. Howard said he sees the play as being like the typewriter. He said it's more like a rehearsal than a show.
Robin read about Patty Labelle performing at the BET awards. Howard said he can imagine what that's going to sound like. He did an impression of her and said that he will fast forward through her performance. He said she should just sing the song and not fill it with that bullshit she does.
Robin said Tiger Woods has taken himself out of the U.S. Open. Howard said the guy is completely fucked in the head. Robin said he hasn't won anything lately and he's not even in the top 10 anymore. Howard said golf is a mental thing. He said Tiger doesn't have it anymore. He said his mind is blown. Fred threw in the Wendy the Retard ''I feel like blowing my mind up!'' clip while they talked about that.
Robin read about a fountain in New London, Connecticut being turned off because people were using the fountain as a toilet. Robin said they spent $11 million on this thing and it was like an $11 million bathroom. Howard said people ruin everything. He said you try doing something nice and people ruin it.
Robin read about a woman who locked her keys in the car and she tried calling from a call box on the side of the road but it was disconnected. She lit a fire on the side of the road to get some attention. Robin said that they arrested the woman after that.
Howard said Bubba must be really proud that he went too dark for Steve-O. He said he was thinking about that and he must be proud of it.
Robin said that Prince has banned Whitney Houston from his shows and he kicked Kim Kardhashian off the stage. Now he's kicked David Arquette out of a show. Robin said that there are no photographs allowed during most the show but a kid next to David took a picture at the wrong time and they tried kicking the kid out and threw David out with him. Robin said they told him to get rid of all of his pictures from his phone. Howard said Prince is consumed with the audience. He said that he walked right out of the private show he was invited to when Prince demanded that the lights be out during his performance.
Robin said they're saying that Anthony Weiner's wife is trying to stay with him. Howard said her name is Humus or something. Robin said it's Huma. Howard had some audio of Huma speaking. It was actually audio of some woman on the street who had a really heavy accent saying his penis was small. Robin read about what Huma was actually saying and she's trying to stay with her husband and she doesn't want him to resign. Howard said she's going to stick by him like Hillary Clinton did with Bill. Howard said she doesn't want him hanging around the house all day. Howard said he thinks the guy is spending too much time in the gym. He's too pumped up for a congressman. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin read more about Anthony Weiner and his texts. She had some details about what he was telling his friends about how to deny this was true. Robin said everything is coming out now. Everything he said on Twitter is coming out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had a very important question. He asked what woman's tits he would fuck if he could. Howard said it would be January Jones from X-Men.
Robin got back to Anthony Weiner so Howard said that he likes this guy for being as honest as he was. He said now they know. Howard said he has had ridiculous conversations with women at strip clubs and he knows what that can be like. He said he's completely enamored with these women and the conversations mean nothing. Robin said she's witnessed it and told Howard about one she saw and how inane the conversation was. Howard said that was with Pam Anderson and her friends. He said he remembers that well.
Robin had more Anthony Weiner news and thought she had some audio of someone talking about that but she didn't have it pulled. Howard read another live commercial after that.
Robin read even more about Anthony Weiner and how some people were warning women not to follow Anthony Weiner on Twitter. Robin said they were being urged to stay away from him. They may have figured it out long before the rest of them did.
Robin read about Donald Trump putting out a video on YouTube about Anthony Weiner. Robin had some audio of that. Trump called him a psycho and said he wasn't surprised when this came out. Howard said he's not defending Weiner in this. He said everyone is up to these shenanigans. He said that he'd like to meet the guy who isn't jerking off, other than Jon Hein. Robin said that Trump cheated on his wife Ivana and he's telling people that Wiener was a psycho? She said she finds that a little hypocritical. Howard said every guy screaming about this is up to shenanigans.
Robin read about Plaixco Burress getting out of jail and getting on a motorcycle. Robin said he has a nice mansion in Florida so he's back in the lap of luxury. Howard said he did his time. Robin said he wants to go back to football but there's no football. Robin said there is no football so they can't negotiate with anyone.
Robin read about Ringo Starr and how in 1940 he was nearly involved in a Nazi attack. Robin said that he just missed an air raid attack in Liverpool. Robin said that he was 3 months old at the time when the stray bombs hit. Robin said they almost lost Ringo. Howard said he heard Pete Best is inventing a time machine so he can go back in time and make sure Ringo was killed.
Robin said there's a missing 20 year old from Indiana University. She said that the girl disappeared the other night and people are trying to find her using Twitter. Alyssa Milano has been helping by sending out the story on Twitter. Howard said Alyssa Milano must work at home all day on that Twitter. He said she tweets out news stories all day long. Howard said he wants a documentary on what she's up to. Robin said Alyssa is pregnant so maybe she's at home just incubating that baby. Howard read another live commercial after that.
Robin read about Bill Clinton talking about how we should be looking at advanced nations trying to figure out how to do things like running a health care system.
Robin read about how Facebook is using facial recognition for photos on the site. Robin didn't know what it meant so Howard explained it to her. Robin said that all of the members of the site will be included in the database. Howard said he's used it on his Apple products and he gets tagged as Annie Liebowitz or Amy Winehouse.
Robin read about people using mobile devices and a study found that minority children are using them more than whites. Howard said he knew it. He was saying that black people love those things. Howard said yesterday he was writing email like a black man.
Robin read about Zsa Zsa Gabor's house going up on the market for $15 million. they were asking $28 million recently so it's been reduced.
Robin said that Naomi Campbell is upset with Cadbury Chocolates that insulted her in an ad where they said ''Move over Naomi, there's a new diva in town.''
Robin said that Paris Hilton's new TV show, The World According to Paris, is on tonight. Robin had some audio of Paris' mother talking about the show and how hard her daughter works. Howard wondered what they're calling ''work'' when they talk about that. Howard said he was hypnotized by how insensitive and inhuman Paris is. He said that he's never seen anyone lacking human quality more than her. Robin had another clip where Paris' mom said that Paris has feelings and she will call her crying when she reads things in the press that upset her. Howard said Paris only has feelings about herself. She doesn't care about anyone else. Howard said he has never seen anyone more evil than Paris Hilton. He said she's a horrible person on that show. Howard said Neil Strauss wrote a new book where he writes about Paris. He said the book is really good. Howard said based on her show he's not sure how you get to be so evil. He said she doesn't seem to care about what happens to anyone else other than herself. He said he'd love to get her in there so he could ask her about all of that. Robin said she won't even sit near Howard at an event. Howard said he found it hard to believe that he was offensive to Paris Hilton. He said he had a bunch of clips to play but he'll have to save them for another day. They ended the show around 10:15am.
Jon moved on to talk about the Anthony Weiner conversation Howard had with Scott DePace. He had Scott in there so he asked him what he was saying about that. Scott said that he thinks that there's a double standard with some of these guys. He said that Howard was able to excuse it and he finds that crazy. Scott said he's sure that Howard would vote for him. Scott said once you lie then you're not good for public office anymore. Jon asked how many people he thinks are not lying in public office. Scott said he doesn't know and he can't name anyone.
Gary said that every president has probably lied to the country. Scott said he doesn't believe that. He said the story about Bush lying about the weapons of mass destruction is ridiculous.
The guys talked to Scott about some of the other politicians who have gotten into trouble over various things. Gary said there was that guy who got caught in the airport bathroom trying to pick up another dude. Gary asked if he thinks that he was singled out. Scott said he doesn't know. Scott said Barney Frank had sex with a page, a young man.
Scott said that democrats have a double standard for this kind of stuff. Gary said he could find plenty of republicans who have gotten away with it too.
Jon said that he didn't want to turn this into a political argument. Scott and Gary continued arguing about that stuff though. Jon tried taking some calls but it wasn't working out so he went to break.
Jon moved on to Steve-O and talked about the stories he was telling and how he felt he was letting them down by not performing that stunt. Gary said that was a weird thing. He said that Steve never wants to say what he's going to do. Gary said he told him he needed to know what he was doing but Steve wasn't telling him. He said Steve finally told him he was going to hit himself in the head with that skate board. He said he had a girl throw an 8 ball at him once. He said he didn't think much of it. Then he smashed the glass bottle and put the broken glass on his head. That was going to mean there was going to be blood all over if he smashed it.
Gary said the girl that was there with Steve was there to help him find a medic if he got hurt by doing that stunt. She was supposed to find a medic last night just in case he got hurt. Gary said he was going to do it anyway even though he didn't have a medic there.
Gary said Steve has it in his head that he has to do a stunt for Howard. He said even last time Howard was freaked out by the fireball stunt he did. Will said blood would have been everywhere if he had done the stunt. He said they'd have to clean it up.
Gary said that Steve was talking about how he was graduating to the speaking only interview. He said in 2 years he might be asking Steve what kind of stunt he's willing to do to get on the show.
Jon took a call but the guy wasn't there. He tried another one and that guy wasn't there so the phony system must have been down.
Jon asked if Steve is having a hard time dealing with reality. Jon said that he seems to be doing it for the love of the game and not even for money. Gary said he's a good hearted guy and he gets the feeling that he's trapped in this area where he feels he has to do these wacky stunts. Gary said he thinks that it's an adrenaline rush for him. Gary said that he might have to spit fireballs for the rest of his life. Benjy said he thinks there's an art to it too so that might be part of it.
Gary said Steve told that story about falling off the balcony and he lived through that. He might be the luckiest guy in the world living through all of this stuff. Jon said it is amazing that none of them have died or been paralyzed. Benjy thought one of them was paralyzed. The rest of the guys didn't think that was the case.
Jon said they learned about Steve's childhood and how his mom lied about having cancer and he didn't seem that upset about it. Will said it had to have some effect on him. He said you just have to look at what he did later in his life. Gary said that Howard might tell him that what happened to him in his childhood is the reason for all of that.
The guys talked about the stuff Steve was saying about his manager and the lawyer who took out the $3 million life insurance policy. Jon also brought up how Steve said that he hasn't seen the back end money from Jackass 3 yet.
Jon asked why Steve thought that Robin didn't have his back today. Will said that Steve is worried about not being funny while he's sober so when Robin brought that up it might have set him off.
Jon said that Robin and Howard told Steve how great he was today but he still wanted to do the stunt. Gary said the stunts on the show are legendary and he must feel he has to do something. The guys spent a few more minutes on that and then went to break.
Jon asked how Howard measured up to the guys. Gary said it was funny that Howard took the picture with them. He said that Howard got between them and he thought he looked like he had raised them for 43 cents a day and they had just come for a visit.
Jon said these guys work really hard. Gary said he goes to the track once in a while but he doesn't know much about it. Benjy said he would imagine it would be fun. Gary said his dad would win once in a while and he'd come home with some great Christmas presents. He said that he hit a $4,000 triple once. Gary said he went to the window to cash in and he was whispering to guys. He said his dad had a guy accept the winnings so he would have to pay tax on it. Then he gave him two one hundred dollar bills and he told him not to tell his mom.
Jon asked the guys how tough it must be to get down to the weight they have to be at. Gary said he knew a guy who thought he could jerk off and lose weight. Benjy said he did that in the last weight loss challenge.
Jon tried to take a call but the phones were still not working correctly. He said he was going to give up on the phones for the day.
Gary said that Lady Gaga was stopping and taking pictures and signing autographs. Gary said it was pretty wild. Gary said he used to be the guy that would hold the elevator for Arnold Schwarzenegger when he'd come on the show. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 10:30am.