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First up today we heard Howard talking about watching SNL when he was a teenager in 1975. He said they'd run back to the dorm to watch the show when he was in college. Howard talked about how classic the shows were and how big of a fan he is of the show. Howard said he was fascinated by the entire experience of the show.
Next up we heard from Norm MacDonald talking about Chevy Chase and what a superstar he thought he was on the show. Norm said he was so talented that they underplayed his talent. He said he did what he did without doing an impression on the show. Norm said he was the gold standard of Weekend Update.
Next they played a clip from a Chevy Chase interview from September 18, 2008. Here's what I wrote back then:
Chevy Chase Visits. 09/18/08. 7:55am
Howard asked Chevy about getting into a fight with Bill Murray on the set of Saturday Night Live. Chevy said that he didn't know Bill that well but he went to host the show in 1978 or so, after he had left, and he and Bill had a bit of a disagreement.
Chevy said that he heard from Lorne that John Belushi had been kind of jealous of his rise to fame. He said that was probably deserved because John was so brilliant. Howard said that Chevy had become the face of SNL at the time. Chevy said that Bill had been told some stuff about him that wasn't true and that probably worked Bill up before he got there. He thinks that Bill may have wanted to knock him down a few rungs at the time. He said that some words were said right before the show and Bill got him really pissed off. He said that he couldn't repeat what he said to him though.
Howard asked Chevy to share that stuff but Chevy didn't want to say what Bill had said to him. Chevy said that he saw John Belushi sitting there in Bill's dressing room and he saw that look on his face like he was the instigator. He said that John rushed to the door to block off what was going to happen. He ended up getting punched when they started to get into it.
Chevy said that he and Bill were never all that close but they have hung out and played golf together. He said that they do get together for stuff like that. They've also tried to put all of that other stuff behind them.
Howard asked Chevy about doing Caddyshack and what he got paid to do that. Chevy said it was about a week's worth of work and they paid him something like 800 grand. Howard said that was when 800 grand was 800 grand too.
Artie said that knowing the story about Bill and Chevy makes that Caddyshack movie even more interesting. They improvised a scene together. Chevy said that he and Bill didn't have a scene together so they made one up and improvised it. Chevy talked about that scene and how it worked out. Artie liked hearing that story too.
Howard said that it must have been hard to tune in to see Bill Murray replace him. Chevy said he never watched it after he left. He said that he would watch some of the stuff over time though. He said that they were doing some funny stuff.
We also heard from David Spade, on the phone, who talked about how he once asked Dennis to take a picture with him and Dennis told him that was gay because they were friends. David said that he's always admired Dennis and he's helped him out over the years. David said he'll always dig him.
After that we heard a clip of Howard interviewing Dennis on the show and Dennis talking about how he's heard Howard ragging on the show. Howard asked Dennis about the other guys on SNL and what it was like working with guys like Dana Carvey. Dennis said he's brilliant. Howard and Dennis talked about Phil Hartman and Jon Lovitz. Howard said Lovitz doesn't make him laugh. Dennis said he thinks that all of those guys are immensely talented. Howard said he was sorry for insulting his friends.
Next up we heard from Sarah Silverman who talked about Kevin Nealon and what a kind energy he was to have around when she was there at SNL. She said that he did the news and it was fun to have him there. She said it was great to write for him and she's so happy for all of his success.
They played a clip from an interview Howard did with Kevin Nealon. Here's what I wrote in 2009:
Kevin Nealon Visits. 03/05/09. 7:45am
Kevin said that he got the job on SNL pretty quick after he did his audition. He said that was a great thing to get but it was very intimidating for him. He said he felt like he really didn't belong there.
Howard said that he was telling Jimmy Fallon yesterday that some of those people end up fading away to nothing but there are some who go on to do great things. Howard asked Kevin if he thought it was the end of his career when he left the show. Kevin said that there was pressure there. He said that he was on SNL for 9 seasons and he loved being on the show. He said that he liked meeting Steve Martin and so many other people that he looked up to.
Kevin said that SNL was doing really bad in the ratings and they were about to be canceled. He said that they were pretending like they had no one watching so it took some of the pressure off.
Kevin said that he remembers watching Howard on Letterman one time back then and Howard came right up to him and asked him how he did on there. Kevin said that Howard probably doesn't remember that though. Howard said that he probably did do that because there is so much pressure to do shows like that. Howard said that he didn't even know Kevin back then and he was going up to him asking him how he did.
Howard asked Kevin why he likes to entertain like this. Is he looking for attention? Kevin said that he was raised by a great family but he loves to make people laugh and he gets an adrenalin rush from doing it.
Howard asked Kevin if he's close to Adam Sandler. Kevin said that Adam is super loyal to his friends. He said that he's so loyal that he won't even buy any car other than an American made car.
That led into a clip from the show where Norm talked about going to the bathroom at SNL and thinking about a girl. He said that he got aroused in the middle of thinking about it and ended up pleasuring himself in the bathroom at SNL. norm said that he forgot to wipe because he got so caught up in that.
Next up we heard a clip of Colin Quinn on SNL doing his Weekend Update segment. We heard from Dave Attell talking about how great Colin was doing that Weekend Update. Jim Breuer also talked about working at SNL and playing football with the guys from the show in the halls at SNL. He said Norm was kind of rough playing it there. He did an impression of Colin talking to him about needing to do something about that. Jim said that Norm went out for a pass and he ended up cracking him as hard as he could in his calf. He said he almost cried like a girl that day. He said Norm was screaming in the hall. He said he and Colin were cracking up. Jim said that was the hardest they ever laughed over there.
That led into a clip of Howard talking to Colin Quinn about letting his cat lick peanut butter off his genitals. Here's what I wrote back in 2003:
That led into the interview Howard did with Jimmy in 2011. Here's what I had in my archives:
Jimmy Fallon Visits. 05/24/11. 8:05am
Howard said Jimmy got on SNL at 23 years old. He asked if he got the job right away. Jimmy said he got one audition and he thought it was all over after that. He said they saw his set and didn't like him. He said they passed on him. He said he did this troll bit where he had the comedians talking about the troll doll. He said that his manger was the one who got them to come to the show.
Jimmy said he was in college at the time and he was working for this place called Metroland. He as the secretary there. He said the owner of the place was in the music business and he gave him his head shot to keep him in mind for anything. He said that guy went out to Los Angeles and he got a call a couple of weeks later and they thought he might have something. He said he wanted to be on SNL so they told him to go out to L.A. to take acting lessons. Jimmy said he did that and learned how to improvise and do the best he could.
Howard asked if anyone else was in that group with him. Jimmy said he didn't remember anyone coming out. He said there was one guy who is in Bridesmaids but that's about it.
Howard said Jimmy did his thing with the troll doll. Jimmy said that you should wait until you're ready. He said that Tracy Morgan auditioned that same night. He said he thinks they were looking for a black cast member at the time so that's why it worked out for him.
Jimmy said that Tracy did something funny and he got hired. He said he knew he wasn't good himself so he wasn't surprised he didn't get hired. Howard said Jimmy might be underrated with his impressions. He said he does so many of them. Jimmy said he can do so many of them and you just do what you think the people do.
Howard said he does an impression of Seinfeld and it doesn't really sound like him. Jimmy started to do some of his Seinfeld impression and said that he sounds kind of like him when he yells. He said Jerry came on SNL and he did his impression with Jerry. He said Jerry kind of changed his voice to sound more like the impression.
Jimmy told Howard he does a Charlie Sheen impression too. Howard said he heard that. Jimmy told Howard how he came up with it and did some of the impression for Howard. He said that he sounds kind of like Johnny Carson but gruffer. He did some of that impression for a few seconds. Howard said he even takes on Charlie's face when he does it.
Howard asked how he got the second audition for SNL. Jimmy said he had someone set up the audition and he was told not to do the Troll doll thing again. Jimmy said he was 23 years old and he did some impressions but he did it as a celebrity Walk-a-thon. Howard said it would have been great if he had just brought out a different doll. Jimmy said it was basically the same thing with the impressions but without the doll. He said that Lorne Michaels doesn't usually laugh during the auditions so he was told about that. He said everyone tells you that Lorne won't laugh. He said that every person would tell him that. Jimmy said he did the audition and did all of his voices. The last one he did was Adam Sandler. He said that no one did an impression of him. He said he did the impression and it was better back then and it made Lorne laugh. He said he thought that he had nailed it after that. He did because they hired him.
Next up we heard Jimmy talking about the time he did his Howard Stern impression on SNL. He explained how he came up with the voice by doing an Alan Alda voice a little lower. They played some of that bit as they were wrapping up the segment.
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That led into a clip of Howard interviewing Tracy in 2006. Here's what I had in my archives:
Comedian Tracy Morgan Visits. 11/01/06. 9:15am
Tracy told Howard that he once banged a celebrity in the bathroom while she was bent over the sink. He said he had a couple of fingers up her ass as he was banging her from behind. He said that she said ''Oh my stomach!'' as he was doing her and that's the biggest compliment she could give him. He said he finished on her ass and her butthole looked like a missing button off a Donny Brasco jacket.
Tracy said he met this chick at the after party for SNL one night and met her in the bathroom. Howard dug for more details and found out that he banged her for like 20-25 minutes. It was a white woman but he wouldn't say who she was. He said it happened just one time but that's the way it was supposed to be. He said it was like two ships passing in the night.
Tracy said that after they banged he had to reinvent himself and pretend that nothing had happened. Howard was trying to guess who it was but Tracy wasn't talking. He said he might tell Howard if he gets drunk enough at Scores.
Tracy also told Howard about banging a chick on a flight one time. He said he got her in the bathroom on an airplane and he didn't use a condom. He said he finished right inside of her and he doesn't care. He said he could die walking across the street so why not just do that shit. He then revealed that he was just making up all of that stuff. He didn't have sex with a woman in the bathroom at SNL or on the airplane. Howard asked him to swear on the life of his kids but when he wouldn't do that, Howard figured he was caught. Tracy said he might get into trouble with his wife now.
Gary came in and told Howard that he had a whole list of female guests that they had on SNL while Tracy was there. He started to read off the list and Tracy told him that he didn't get any pussy while he was there. He swore on the life of his kids that he never had sex on his wife. He wouldn't say that he never cheated though. Howard went to break a short time later.
Actress Tina Fey Visits. 11/16/06. 9:05am
Howard told Tina that when Tracy Morgan was on the show recently, he said that he had slept with one of the guest hosts. Tina said that's not possible, no one would sleep with Tracy. She said she thinks that he's lying about that.
Howard read a plug about how ''30 Rock'' is available on iTunes. He didn't know what that meant so Tina had to explain to him that people can buy it and put it on their iPod. Howard asked Tina who she would like to sleep with if she cheated on her husband. She said it would have to be Paul Newman but she'd have to go back in time to when he was hot.
Howard wrapped up with Tina but Artie told her that he was going to give her the thousand bucks he owed her for doing his movie. She seemed surprised that he carries around that kind of money with him. Howard said he was sorry to hear that she didn't get laid until she was 24. He told her to go out and get some guys. He wrapped up and went to break after that.
Next up we heard a Rob Schneider bit from SNL where he was the copy guy. Then we heard from David Spade about how he and Rob were friendly but they did have a rough patch. He said that he and Rob did some movies together later on though. Here's what I had in my archives from 2009:
Rob Schneider Visits. 03/23/09. 8:40am
Howard asked Rob where he's at with this movie. Rob said that the movie is going to be on Pay-Per-View and it's out on DVD and iTunes and stuff like that. He said that he just wanted to do something that he wanted to do and that's what he got to do with this movie.
Howard asked why Adam Sandler wasn't involved with this movie. Rob said that he didn't want to ask him for another favor but he did think about it.
Rob talked about working with Sandler on his ''Zohan'' movie and also talked about David Spade. He said that Spade gets a lot of hot chicks and he's not sure how he does that. Howard said that Spade isn't the hottest guy in the world but he gets the hottest chicks. Rob said that he must have all of the moves figured out.
Artie said that David does some shitty sitcoms and he makes a fortune doing them. He just bangs all of the chicks he can on the set. Rob said that he's doing a movie with Spade this summer so he'll ask him about that stuff. He said that Spade's role is basically playing himself because he's trying to bang all of the 20 year olds in it.
Howard asked Rob if he watches Saturday Night Live anymore. Rob said that he hasn't been on the show in like 14 years and he can't believe how fast time flies. He said that he would have liked the call from Lorne Michaels to come back on like 12 years ago but he gets why he won't have him back on. Rob said they want people who can help them out now.
Howard said that Rob told a great story about Steven Seagal on the show one time. Rob told that story again about this guy he knew that worked with Steven on a movie. Seagal came out from one of the rooms in his mobile home and said that he had just read the greatest script he had ever written in his life. The other guy asked him who wrote it and Steven says ''I did.''
Rob had another Steven Seagal story to tell. He said he collects them. Rob said that Steven was doing a story with Keenan Ivory Wayans and Steven had just met with the Dahli Llama. the Dahli had made him a deity after he had donated some money to the guy. Now Steven is basically a god. Rob said that Steve goes to the set and tells the people on the set of this movie about this deity thing. Rob said that Steven claims that things were making sense to him now that he had become a deity and then his assistant comes up to him and says that his ex-wife can't make it with the kids and Steven freaks out telling the assistant to tell that fucking cunt that he'll break her fucking neck if she doesn't make it.
They played an interview segment with Gilbert from earlier this year. Here's what I had in my archives:
Gilbert Gottfried Visits. 04/26/11. 8:20am
Howard said Gilbert writes about working on Saturday Night Live and tells a story about how Woody Allen watched his audition tapes. Gilbert said that he sat there stone faced and when Woody saw his tape come on he sat up and pointed his finger and asked if he was a Navajo Indian. That was it. Howard laughed his ass off at that story. Howard wondered what he did in that audition. He said he would have loved that Groucho impression.
Howard said Gilbert does great impressions and he should have done them on SNL. He said he could do his Dice Clay, Groucho and the Jew who sings. Gilbert said no one would ever describe him as self destructive. Howard said he's in a competitive business so he has to do that stuff. Gilbert said he did that Groucho impression for Dick Cavett and his mouth was wide open. Howard said it's incredible. Gilbert said he knows he should have done it. Howard said he really should have and he had his moment when he could have.
Gilbert said he hated the other writers and they hated him. He said they wrote a sketch once where he played a dead body in a casket. That's how much they hated him. He said he really didn't get that he was getting this great job. He said he didn't think that much of it when they hired him. He said that season was a season where they didn't think the show would go on without the original cast. Howard said he could have been bigger than Billy Crystal if he had done his impressions.
Howard asked what he did for Dick Cavett. Gilbert went into his impression of Groucho and had Robin and Howard laughing. He does it as ''Old Groucho'' who can barely speak. He had Groucho singing a song and speaking in that old man voice that he had. Howard said Dick Cavett would let him go on and on with that stuff too.
Gilbert said he was on Thicke of the Night once and he got a great compliment from Alan Thicke. He did an impression of Alan Thicke for a few seconds too. Gilbert said he was on doing a bit and he started improvising and did a Peter Lorre impression and Vincent Price was on the show and Vincent said he loved that imitation. Howard asked what the Peter Lorre impression was like. Gilbert didn't do it but he said there are a lot of different ones.
Gilbert said he did do the Dracula thing for ''Son of the Beach.'' Howard said that was a great show and he's not sure why it didn't take off.
Howard said Gilbert quit school and he stopped going to class but the teachers didn't even notice. He said that must make him feel like a snail in life. Gilbert said he left school and he'd hang in the library. He said he had no place to hang out.
Howard said Gilbert got a job in Beverly Hills Cop II and he had worked with Eddie Murphy on SNL for a year. When Eddie saw him on the set of the movie he asked if he knew him from somewhere. He had no idea he had worked with him on SNL.
Darrell Hammond From Saturday Night Live Comes In. 8/9/01. 8:05am
Comedian Darrell Hammond came in to talk to Howard about his work on the TV show Saturday Night Live. Howard and Darrell spent most of the interview talking about Darrell playing the part of Bill Clinton on Saturday Night Live. Darrell said that most of the people on SNL write their own material but he hasn't had any of his own stuff accepted in about 6 years. He said that Lorne Michaels keeps him around to do his characters. All of the other comedians on the show compete to get air time on the show each week while Darrell just waits around for them to write a bit for him. He said he'd like to be able to compete for air time but they don't give him that chance.
Darrell said he got the job on the show after sending in a tape of his stand-up act where he did just one line as Bill Clinton. Lorne Michaels called him in to show off his talent and he did a bunch of Phil Donahue bits in different languages. He demonstrated that for Howard and it was really funny.
Darrell also told Howard how he got to hang out with the real President Clinton when Clinton invited him over to write a bit that the two of them could do together for the press. He said Clinton likes to invade your personal space and touch you a lot and he gets away with it. He shared a few of the behind-the-scenes stories he had about Clinton.
Darrell did some of his other impressions for Howard including Jay Leno, Regis Philbin, Jesse Jackson and Barney Fife.
Howard changed subjects and asked Darrell about how he figured out that he was abused as a young child. Darrell said he repressed the thoughts as he grew up but after he had his own child he started to remember stuff that ended up breaking him apart from his parents. He said he didn't want his baby to see someone telling his wife to shut up and he told his parents that and it all started to come out that he was abused. He's now in therapy 2 days a week to straighten himself out. He didn't want to say too much about the type of abuse he suffered as a child. He did say that he's in therapy for abuse that could be considered criminal. He also said that his parents told him that if he or his sister saw people in their rooms at night, they were ghosts. He said his sister would scream at night saying that there were ghosts in her room and to this day she still believes they were ghosts. Darrell knows better than that and has tried talking to his sister but she's sticking to her story. He said he's having a nice life now but he just doesn't have any family to share it with. Howard thought it was pretty sad but Darrell said it really wasn't because he has a beautiful baby and a great job.
Howard ended the segment after about a half hour and said that Darrell will be appearing at Caroline's Comedy Club in New York today through Sunday. Visit Carolines.com for more info.
Stuttering John Celebrity Interviews. 5/4/99. 8:05am
Stuttering John got a few interviews recently so Howard played the tape this morning. First up was Art Garfunkle. John only got out 3 questions before Art's female companion yanked him away. The question that drove them away was ''Why'd you quit singing backup for Paul Simon?''. Up next was Buck Henry. John asked a bunch of questions and Henry stuck with him giving short, almost funny answers for each one. The interview wasn't that interesting though. John also got Steve Martin. Steve stuck with 5 questions but when John asked him ''How often to you masturbate?'' Steve was out of there.
After that we heard from Kevin Nealon who told a story about having a fire alarm at SNL and he ran down the steps with Steve Martin and Sting. He said they all emptied out into a restaurant and they weren't sure if they were going to have a show that night. Kevin said they eventually went back in but it was too late to do a dress rehearsal. He said he thinks they had a real good show too. They went to break after that.
That led into an interview Howard did with Gilda Radner back at WNBC. Here's what I had in my archives when they replayed the segment in 2006:
Classic WNBC - Mystery Guest Gilda Radner. 03/17/06. 6:45am
Next up was an old clip from WNBC where Howard played Mystery Guest with Gilda Radner who ended up getting very upset that she was on the show. Gary didn't know why she got so upset but it caused them problems for years afterward.
In the clip Howard was talking about Chuck Wollery's ''Love Connection'' but he didn't even know what the name of the show was at the time. Howard and Robin knew that Gilda was in the studio so the audience were playing the game where they had to try and guess who it was. The first caller guessed correctly so Howard told her that she had just ruined the show. He didn't know what to do with Gilda for the next half hour. He had plenty of questions for Gilda. She told him about how she had just finished up the movie ''The Woman In Red'' and that it was coming out in the summer of that year (1984).
Gilda was afraid that Howard was making fun of her but he let her know that he was being very nice to her so she'd like him and spread the word about the show. He gave her a few plugs for an appearance she was making at a book store to promote her book.
Gilda asked Howard to take some phone calls because she'd rather do that then take questions from Howard. Howard said he would only take sexual questions on the phone. Gilda sounded like she was almost afraid of Howard as he was talking to her. When he took a call for her, the caller asked how many guys she had been with. Gilda said that she would prefer to take non-sexual questions but then Howard asked her when she lost her virginity. She didn't answer.
Howard took a few more phone calls for Gilda and it took quite a while to find someone who actually had a question. One person asked how often she likes to have sex but Howard told him that she wasn't answering those questions. Howard said he thought that Gilda would really like him but she told him that it was actually pretty scary for her. Howard told her that he was still a big fan of hers even though she wasn't too thrilled with him.
After Gilda left Howard wondered why she was so bummed out. He said he had to recover from what had just happened. He didn't get why Gilda was scared of him. None of her people would talk to him or shake his hand goodbye after the interview. Robin said that she thought Gilda was having a good time at first. She wasn't sure what went wrong though.
After that we heard from Joe Piscopo who talked about how great Gilda was on the show. Joe said that Alan Zweibel is the guy who should get credit for how great she was. Joe said that Alan wrote for her. He said that he never met her himself but he has immense respect for her.
After that we heard a segment where Howard was talking to David Spade about the time he was on SNL to promote his book Miss America. Here's what I wrote back in 1996:
David Spade comes in. 2-12-96. David Spade from Saturday Night Live came in this morning to plug his movie Black Sheep that's in theaters now. Howard met David a couple of months ago in a secret meeting with Lorne Michaels(SNL Creator) in which Howard gave his ideas for a bit that he was going to do on SNL. Saturday Night Live sucks so much though that they didn't want to do the spontaneous bit that Howard came up with...so Howard did it on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Lesbians lesbians lesbians...Howard's motto. Howard didn't say anything about doing SNL anytime in the near future since he's not plugging his book anymore. Maybe when the movie is done he'll do it. But until then, suffer through SNL.
Howard had an idea to have a couple of girls come out to teach the guys how to get ratings with Lesbians. He said Lorne didn't want to do it but it would have been a great idea.
Spade also told Howard about how he met Cameron Crowe and the guy who directed ''Get Shorty'' after he had goofed on them in his Hollywood Minute segment. He said that he may have lost out on some movie roles because of that.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus Calls In. 5/6/03. 8:20am
Actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus called in to promote her TV show ''Watching Ellie'' which airs on NBC. Howard said he hasn't seen her since she auditioned for his movie ''Private Parts.'' Howard said they did a screen test together but she wasn't the right person for the part. Gary was still in so he asked Julia why she works. He thought her family was rich and didn't need money. Gary thought her family had something to do with the Dreyfus fund. She said she wishes that's true but it's not. Gary said they found that from their research department. Julia said that the research department is wrong. Howard also said they had research that said Jerry Seinfeld turned down an offer to do her TV show. She said that wasn't true either. Howard asked Julia what she was wearing and talked to her about her kids. She said that she was wearing her pajamas and it was only 5:20 in the morning out there. Howard asked her if she'd ever leave her husband for someone like him. She said that won't be happening. Howard also talked about the scene in his movie where he improvised and copped a feel of Mary McCormack's breast in one scene. He said he'd have done the same thing to Julia if she got the part.
Howard said he read that she made about $13.2 million during the 1997-98 season of Seinfeld. She said it wasn't quite that much though. She also talked about how they don't get great money from the show now that it's in syndication. She said they got a standard deal with that. Howard asked her if she's bitter about that and she just said ''next question'' and moved on. Howard asked her if she's seen Jerry's kid yet. She said she saw Jerry's first child but hasn't seen the second one. She said they're still all friends and she lives near Larry David. She's actually done his show.
Howard talked to Julia about her kids and he talked about his own kids. Julia asked if he lets his kids use Instant Messaging on the computer. Howard said of course he does. He lets the 10 year old do it but he prefers to have her stick to private chat rooms with her friends. Howard seems to think his 10 year old is smart enough to avoid getting into trouble on the web.
Julia pointed out the fact that there's a jewelry store with the name H. Stern. Howard said he knew about it and owns the web site name HStern.com and they wanted to get it from him but he didn't give it up. Howard asked Julia if she owns her own domain name. She said she doesn't own it and doesn't know how that works. Howard said he had to meet with the guy who owned HowardStern.com and it turned out he was a nice guy and gave him the name without a problem.
Jim Breuer Visits. 09/29/10. 8:20am
Howard said there's a story in the book about how Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro agreed to come on the show and be part of the Joe Pesci show. Jim said that was a huge deal because De Niro never did TV. It was going to be Colin Quinn playing the fake De Niro. He said that it was all a top secret thing. He said he heard that Pesci, De Niro and even Scorsese called to see the tape and he figured they'd want him for a movie or something. He said he never heard from them though.
Jim said that they had Pesci come in to meet with him. He said that it was just going to be him and Pesci in a meeting to hash out the sketch. Jim said that he came in and Pesci had his cigar and the Goodfellas suit on. Jim said that Joe asked him if he was Italian. Jim said he's not and then Pesci asked him where he gets the balls to say ''guinea, dago and wop.'' Pesci wouldn't stop and he just kept going on and on about this stuff. Jim said he thought he was kidding. He said Pesci kept going on like he was portraying him as an animal. Jim said he was scared because he thought he was serious. Jim said he was so scared that he blamed the writers for writing that stuff. Then Pesci said that he's the one who is representing himself. He's the one at the end of the day that he has a problem with. Jim said that he thought he was fucked because of this. Jim figured he was going to have to sign his life away. He said he still doesn't know if he was kidding or not. He thinks that he really wasn't kidding in the beginning.
Jim said he almost started crying and told Pesci he was a huge fan of his and he told him that he imitated him when he was younger. He told him that he never calls Italians names. He said that he gets mad at the guests and asks them if they think he's some kind of dago or guinea. That's when Joe changed his tune and said he was just busting his balls. He also told him that De Niro wasn't going to do any kind of rehearsal either.
Jim said that he ran and told Lorne that De Niro wasn't going to be there for dress rehearsal. He said that Lorne told him that he would be there. Jim said he heard that De Niro had backed out when he heard it was live. Then they were on the air and De Niro wasn't even there yet. He said they had to fight with Lorne about what they were going to do. He said they were going to dress Darrell Hammond as a fake De Niro. They knew that wouldn't work. He said the sketch started and Rob Lowe was in the sketch playing Eric Roberts. He said he was ditching the sketch because he knew it was going to be stupid. Then he hears this cheer and there they were on live TV. De Niro and Pesci both showed up. Howard wondered why he would do that to people. He said that it didn't make any sense. Jim said that he may not have wanted to do it. He said that De Niro can do as many takes as he wants in a movie but not on a live TV show.
Howard said that sketch went over really well. It was huge. Jim said that it really was but then he dropped the ball with Pesci. He said he asked his assistant what he likes. The assistant said he likes cigars so he went to a cigar shop and picked up something that the shop owner suggested. Jim said that the guy told him that they were ''five fifty'' so he figured it was $5.50 each. He had no idea how expensive they were. Jim said he ended up leaving them in his fridge and forgot about them. It was too late to send them because he had lost the number for Pesci's assistant.
After that they went right to commercial break.
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We heard from Sarah after that. She said that the first couple of times she was on she didn't know how to handle it and she's lucky she was allowed to come back on. They played her first appearance on the Stern Show after that. Here's what I wrote back in 2003:
Comedian Sarah Silverman Comes In. 5/12/03. 8:45am
Howard brought in comedian Sarah Silverman. Howard said a lot of guys are surprised that she's as good looking as she as being a comedian. Artie said that it's amazing that she's as good looking as she is and as funny as she is. Howard said comedians Elaine Boozler, Phyllis Diller and women like that are funny because they're funny looking. Sarah doesn't have that going for her because she's good looking. Sarah said that Howard has a good looking girlfriend but he said it's not because he's good looking. It's because he's so charming. Sarah told Howard he's got good teeth but he told her they're all fake. He told her how his parents wouldn't get him braces or even let him use novacaine when he went to the dentist as a child. Sarah called his mother a douche bag but Howard told her to take it easy. Sarah told Howard he has nice hair though. That he took as a compliment.
Howard picked up on the fact that Sarah seems to date a lot of comedians. She said that's because she is one and that's who she meets. Howard told her she could date other people outside the industry. Howard said she's dating Jimmy Kimmel now and had to ask her about that. He asked her if Jimmy really didn't cheat on his wife with her before they were divorced. Sarah said she met him and he didn't cheat on his wife. Howard asked her about meeting Jimmy's kids too. She said she did finally meet the kids but doesn't want to be called ''mommy.'' She wants to be known as ''fun mommy.'' Sarah went on to tell Howard about how Jimmy didn't sleep with all that many women in his life before he got married. He's only been with like two other women so she wants him to go out and experience other women. She joked that she wants to lose him to another woman so he can get out there and get laid. Howard asked her how long it took before Jimmy hooked up with her. She said they were friends for a while and hung out and watched movies together. She said they were buddy-buddy for a while and their first kiss was very romantic. She said their noses touched for about 45 minutes before they really kissed. She said they discovered that they had the same favorite movie which was ''The One and Only.'' She said the movie is from the 70's and that's what they were watching when they had their first kiss. She said Jimmy was stroking her hair during the movie. Howard asked if it was like he was petting a dog. She said that he was actually licking her ass like a dog. She was joking of course. Sarah said that Jimmy's penis is really huge too and it's so big that she needs two vaginas. Howard said he knows that's not true because Jimmy has something wrong with his penis. She swore that it really is huge though. Artie thought that was the coolest thing that a chick could say on the air.
Sarah talked about meeting Jimmy's parents and how cool his mother was. Howard asked her if she could picture herself marrying Jimmy. She said she could imagine herself marrying his mother.
Howard read that Sarah dated comedian Dave Attell. She said he was like her first real boyfriend. They're not really friends but she wishes him the best. She said he was really nice to her but they can't really hang out. She said he would use his apartment floor as his ashtray. She said when they first met he didn't even smoke and had never smoked. She said he didn't drink very often either. Now he does both.
Howard said Sarah also dated Colin Quinn who recently revealed that he had sex with a cat. Sarah said that means it's like she had sex with a cat. She told Howard that she was about 19 when she dated Colin and he was like 29 or 30 at the time.
Howard asked Sarah where her relationship with Jimmy is going. She joked that they're going to be a ''show business team.'' She said she really does love him though.
Howard gave Sarah a plug for her one woman show called ''Jesus is Magic.'' She's doing that at the Zipper Theater in Manhattan from May 13th to the 24th.
Howard asked Sarah a few more questions about Jimmy. She told Howard that Jimmy actually gets mad at her when she suggests that he go out and get some other women. She said he's just not that type of guy.
That led into a segment from WNBC when Howard interviewed Jim Belushi. In the clip Howard and Robin were talking about getting Jim in there and wondering what he was doing down there. Howard said maybe he was trying to get on their show.
Howard had Jim in and talked to him about Billy Crystal's agent getting mad at him for stealing a bit but he said he didn't steal it from him, he stole it from another morning show to goof on it.
Howard asked Jim what he was doing down there. Jim said he got lost trying to find the Letterman show. Howard told Gary to show Jim how to get up there. Howard and Jim spent a few minutes talking before Jim had to get out of there.
Saturday Night Live's Keenan Thompson Visits. 12/08/09. 9:00am
Howard asked Keenan how his audition went for SNL. He explained to Howard how he had to go up on stage at a comedy club to do that. He said that it was in front of Lorne Michaels and Tina Fey among other people. He said he did 5 minutes of people like Schwarzenegger, Al Sharpton, Bill Cosby and more. He said that he was terrified doing that.
Howard said he heard that Keenan played Fat Albert in the Fat Albert movie. Keenan said that Cosby told him some stuff before he did that movie and what people don't know is that the guy is a pervert. He said that he was doing the movie and it was just him and Bill Cosby. Bill didn't like the script so he wanted to go rewrite it. He said they sat in his bedroom with a writer and talked about everything except the script. He said that Bill told him that he was going to have to get 2 dicks because he would have women all over him after the movie came out. Keenan said that was coming from Dr. Huxtable.
Howard asked Keenan if he has made friends with any of the old SNL people. Keenan said that he goes back and studies some of the past shows. He said that they have to come up with new ideas and they want to make sure they're not repeating any of the old stuff. Howard asked if he writes stuff for himself. He said that's what you have to do to get on the air. He said that he has a lot of premise ideas but he needs help writing the bits.
Howard asked if any of the cast members feel they have to come and welcome him to the show. He said that Dan Aykroyd comes around a lot and he's really cool. He said he talked to Dennis Miller the other day and he's very cool too. Howard asked if David Spade ever talks to him. He said he ran into him one night and that guy gets a lot of poon. Howard said he was on the phone with him this weekend and he had to run to get some pussy.
Robin asked Keenan if he's met Eddie Murphy. Keenan said he hasn't but he's heard some run in stories with him before and he doesn't want to ruin his childhood by having a meeting go wrong. Howard said that Eddie is tough to interview but he's been very nice to him when he's met him.
Howard asked Keenan if he gets upset when they have a guest who doesn't put effort into their sketches. Keenan said that there are some people they have to do that for and it is kind of a bummer. He said that there are some people who aren't into it so it is kind of tough. He said that Paris Hilton might be someone like that.
Darrell Hammond also commented on how great Chris Kattan was on the show. That led into some of the interview Howard did with Chris Kattan in 2006. Here's what I wrote back then:
Howard asked if it was true that Chris dated ''Stiffler's mom'' Jennifer Coolidge. Chris said he did date her about 15 years ago and she was very hot back then. He said she was hotter back then but she's still sexy. Ralph called in and asked Chris if he's skull fucked Sunshine until she puked. Chris said that's funny because he just did that this morning.
Chris got shocked again by the headset so he yelled out for about the third time. Howard tried to calm him down and asked him if he's ever had a woman tongue his ass. Chris said that has happened once but it's not that common. Gary came in and told Howard he had to get Chris out of there, he has to go to the WB to do an interview. Howard said that the WB isn't going to ask him about getting his salad tossed.
That led into an interview clip where Howard was talking to Robert Downey Jr. about all of his movies and Downey was telling Howard about being a fan of the show.
Howard read that Robert was on SNL and said he forgot about that. Robert said he kind of forgot about it too. He said the cast was kind of weird. He said that Anthony Michael Hall got him the job on the show. Howard asked what he's up to now. Robert said he's an actor and he's working.
Howard asked Red (Billy West) what he thinks of Robert. Red said he can act and he's great. He told Robert to kiss him. Red got into it with Robert and started going nuts.
Howard asked Robert about his drug phase and said that he really went through one. Howard said everyone goes through a phase but Robert really went through one. Robin asked if he was ever arrested. Robert said he wasn't but he should have been. He said that was some pretty ugly stuff that he didn't want to get into.
Howard asked Robert some more questions and Billy had him cracking up with the questions he was asking too.
That led into a clip from the Stern Show where Chris Rock appeared on the show for the first time during a Howard Stern birthday show in 1997. Howard and Chris spent a few minutes talking about Chris' childhood and how he was beaten up a lot. Chris also told Howard how he lost his virginity thanks to Eddie Murphy. He said Eddie found him working at the Comic Strip and helped him get laid.
Gary told Howard that Uzo was eyeing up Chris. They got her on mic a short time later. She told Howard that he really is very funny. She didn't believe it when Howard said he was funny but it turns out he is.
Gary told Howard that Chris worked with Jackie in a movie and he's just another comedian who went on to bigger and better things after working with Jackie. Howard said Jackie used to work with Eddie Murphy too. Howard said Eddie came to Jackie and asked him for advice on making comedy albums. He said Jackie refused to help and turned him down. The rest is history. Jackie also worked with Tim Allen in ''Comedy's Dirtiest Dozen'' as well as Thea Vidal and some others. Howard said Jackie is the only one who went nowhere. Chris said Jackie is doing fine. Howard wrapped up and thanked Chris for stopping by.
They went to break after that.
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That led into an old interview Howard did with Phil Hartman via satellite. Howard was talking to Phil about the other guys on SNL and how good some of those guys were like Chris Farley. Chris was taking a leave from the show for a while at the time.
Howard asked Phil what kind of deal he has with the show. Phil said he can leave next year to do whatever he wants. He said he's not eager to do that since this is a gig of a lifetime for him.
Howard talked to Phil about working with Pee Wee Herman and what that was like. Phil said he worked on his Pee Wee's Playhouse and helped write his first movie. Howard said that was the only good movie too. Howard asked what Pee Wee's story is. Phil said he's one of the most fascinating people he's ever met. He said Pee Wee got upset with him when he talked about him on Bob Costas' show. He said he can't talk about him on this show now. Phil said that Pee Wee doesn't want him to talk about him at all in the media. Howard told Phil he doesn't need friends like that.
Howard said that Lorne Michaels should be kissing his ass to keep him on that show. Phil said they spend a good part of the day doing that to each other. Howard let Phil go a short time later.
Next up we heard an SNL bit where Dave Attell was doing a question and answer with Jeff Goldblum. We heard from Kevin Nealon who said that Dave was great on the show. That led into an interview clip where Howard talked to Dave Attell about masturbation. Here's some of what I wrote that day in 2008:
Comedian Dave Attell Visits. 12/17/08. 8:55am
After the break Howard came right back so he could get to comedian Dave Attell. Howard had the guys bring him right in since he was waiting in the green room for 25 minutes. Howard said that Dave is trying to get something rolling but he's not quite sure what that is.
Howard said that Dave looked a little bigger than usual today. Dave said he was wearing layers because he's homeless now. Howard said that he wanted him to remove some of those layers.
Dave congratulated Howard on his wedding. Then Howard brought up the Gong Show and asked Dave what's going on with that. Dave brought the show back himself but things apparently didn't work out. Dave said that it was rough doing the show because they did it last minute and only had a week to write it. He said that he wanted it to be a different version of the Gong show but people just wanted it to be like the original version with a different host. He thinks that they should have had Jeff Ross hosting it instead.
Dave said he was looking to do something different, something kind of like what they do on Howard's show instead. That didn't work out for the show. Dave said that it all came down to ratings and it wasn't an easy summer for ratings. He said that with the election and the Olympics on TV, they didn't do too well.
Howard asked if the show is going to come back. Dave said that he's not sure and it's all up to the Gods. He said that they actually did get some ratings one night but that may have had to do with the Queefer they had on the show.
Robin asked if there is any chance the show will come back. Dave said that it was nice that Howard was helping promote it every week. He was being sarcastic about that. Howard said that he did come in and promote it one day. Dave said he appreciates that.
Howard asked Dave if he pictures himself as a game show host. Dave said that he does love doing that. He ended up bringing up Jay Leno and how he's going to have a 10 o'clock show now. Howard said that this is the first time in history that they've had a hit show and they're going to replace the host. Howard said it's insane if you ask him. He said that Jay is a bizarro freak and a more uninspired guy you can't find.
Dave said that the real loser there is Carson Daly who will have to end a 9 hour long talk show thing. you can only have so many guests on in one night. Howard said that Jay thinks that the audiences are going to bed earlier now and that's why his show will be successful. Howard said that Jay is lying about that and people aren't going to bed earlier. Howard said the show could work but he's going to be up against CSI and Dancing with the Stars type of shows. He could fail if he pulls a 5 rating like he does at 11:30.
Howard said he thinks the show will be unsuccessful. Dave said he thinks that it will succeed and get bigger ratings than Roots. Dave said that he can pay Howard in GM parts if he loses to him.
Dave was saying that he's kind of glad that this whole auto industry thing is failing. He said he thinks it would be cooler if people could make their own cars in their garage. Dave said he doesn't think that there's actually a problem until Bruce Springsteen writes a song about it and tells him that there are problems.
Dave said that he wants to keep pitching show ideas so he wanted to know about the ''Inside the Porn Actors Studio'' show they did there. Howard said that's still going on. It's hosted by Richard Christy. Dave said he'd like to do something like that himself. He wants to do a Mystery Science Theater type of thing with porn movies.
Howard told Dave to take that dream and follow it. Dave said that he would love to not be lonely while watching a movie like that. Robin asked him if the other guy in the room would be jerking off along with him. Dave thought that was a little harsh.
Howard asked Dave about the movie ''The Wrestler'' and if he saw it. Dave said that he actually auditioned for that movie just like Artie did. Dave said that he knew it was going to be great and he was willing to just be in the audience of a wrestling match to be in the movie. Dave said that he goes into auditions and pretends that he didn't get the lines ahead of time. Artie said that they hate when people walk in and say they just got the lines.
Dave talked about doing some stuff for the new Adam Sandler movie. Howard said that's a nice gig to have. Artie said that he and Dave were at an event together and he was asking Dave about Adam Sandler because they went to college together. He said that Dave told him that Adam went in a different direction and took a left turn at ''millionairesville.''
In the clip Howard was talking to Norm about his days at SNL and Norm talked about internet porn and how crazy he found that stuff to be. He said he got addicted to it and he couldn't help but watch it. Here's some of that write up from 2009:
Norm MacDonald Visits. 05/07/09. 8:55am
Howard asked Norm if he's getting any chicks. Norm said he's making Colin Quinn look like Hugh Hefner right now. He talked about how funny Colin is and how he really shouldn't worry about his career so much. Howard said Colin is saying he's staying away from women until he gets his career on track. Norm said he doesn't understand that because he doesn't really go out with women.
Norm told Howard he saw some internet pornography recently and it was disturbing. Norm said that they used to show him stuff back at SNL that was faked. He said that's what he thought internet porn was until about 2 months ago. Then he saw the real stuff about 2 months ago and you can see every god dammed thing now. Norm said you start wondering why a chick can only take 6 cocks up her ass and more on to more hard core stuff.
Howard said he thought that Norm had some kind of hang up about sex. He's glad that he's watching that internet porn. Norm said he used to watch it with girlfriend's and stuff and they'd do what they saw in the movies. He didn't get too detailed about that though.
Norm said that he doesn't think that he was raped as a child but he can't say that with 100 percent assurance. He said that if you repress that stuff then maybe he was. He said he doesn't think that stuff would slip his mind and it would probably be the one thing he would remember and he'd forget everything else if he was fucked in the ass.
Norm said that he'd probably forget about going to school and stuff and all he'd remember was his uncle's cock. He said that he'd probably think it was huge even if it wasn't all that big. Howard said that you would remember something like that.
They played an interview Howard did with Garrett years ago. In the clip Howard talked to Garrett about the people he worked with but Garrett wouldn't bad mouth anyone. Howard wanted him to say something bad about Chevy Chase but Garrett refused.
Howard asked Garrett what Chevy did to him on the show that was so bad. Garrett said that there was no abuse. He said that he and Chevy had some issues. He didn't give Howard a lot of the details though.
Next up they played an SNL bit where Conan O'Brien showed up. That led into a clip of Kevin Nealon talking about how guys like Conan wouldn't write anything down until the last moment on the show.
They played a Stern Show segment where Conan O'Brien was a mystery guest. They had him in asking questions trying to figure out who it was. Jackie was the one who guessed correctly.
Howard asked Conan if he's happy that they bash Jay Leno instead of him. Conan said that he got bashed a little bit himself. He said he was good for the first few weeks but then he started getting bashed. Howard said that they eventually turned to Jay and bashed him for the way he was doing his show. They spent a few minutes talking before they moved on.
Next up we heard an SNL bit with Jane Curtain. That went right into an interview clip where Howard spoke to Jane on the phone. It turns out it was Billy West on the line playing Jane. Here's what I wrote on January 1, 2009 during a History of Howard Stern segment:
They played a K-Rock clip where Howard had Jane Curtain (Billy West) on the phone to talk about a movie she was in the night before. Howard said that Jane was playing the part of a Bostonian woman in the show. Howard talked about the character she was playing and how the character was against black people moving into her neighborhood. Howard said that it must have been hard for her to play since she's not a racist herself. Jane said she had to do this Boston accent and yell racist stuff out.
Howard said he didn't have any clips of Jane doing the character so he asked her to do some of the lines for them live. She went into the voice and started yelling out the N-word and stuff like that. Jane was screaming out all of this racist stuff for a few minutes straight. She said that it was pretty brutal in the special that she was in. Billy kept up the heavy Boston accent for a few minutes before Howard wrapped up and told her to go have lunch with Larry Fine. Billy did a little bit of his Larry Fine voice after that.
After that segment they went to break.
Howard went through some of the stuff that he'd be watching and talked about how Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi have gone too far with the Blues Brothers thing. Artie agreed and said they should just get over it already. Howard went through some of the other stuff he'd be skipping. He went down the list and said he'd be skipping a lot of what they had in the set.
After that clip they played a Bill Murray SNL skit where he was singing as a bad lounge singer. Then we heard from Joe Piscopo about Bill Murray and how great he thought he was. He said that Bill was one of the only guys who would come near the new cast of SNL when they came in. He said that Bill took them out to a Japanese food restaurant and they didn't even know what that was back then. He said Bill was really nice to the young kids. He said he was great to work with and he's happy he can say he got to work with him.
Next up they played a clip of Howard talking to Bill on the phone from February 22, 2011. Here's some of what I wrote that day:
Bill Murray Calls In. 02/22/11. 8:40am
Howard said you'd think that Bill would want the offers to come through. Howard said he heard that he missed out on some good movies because of that. Bill said he really hasn't. He said that if people really want you they will find you. Howard asked how people can find him. Bill said that he would have to chase him down.
Howard said he heard that Ghostbusters was written for John Belushi. He said he heard that bill was offered the part of Han Solo in Star Wars too. Bill didn't remember reading that. He said that he has heard that story though. Bill said that he heard they wanted him to play Batman too.
Howard asked Bill if he thinks he's a genius. Bill said no. He said that he's pretty good at what he does but he's just as good as anyone in his neighborhood. Howard asked Bill about doing improv and if he likes that or acting in movies. Bill said he likes acting in movies. Bill said that he had some great fun doing Saturday Night Live. He said that Second City was another great experience. He said he had great teachers and a great education. Bill said you can do just about anything after doing SNL.
Howard asked Bill about working on SNL and if he likes Lorne Michaels. Bill said it was tough working there because no one wanted to work with him and he had some tough times. He said that Lorne is a unique guy and he's able to keep the people together over there. He said that he has managed to keep good people on the show. He said it's a tough building to keep that many good people in the room.
Howard asked if he still watches the show. Bill said that he did the show for so long that he doesn't watch it that much. He does watch it once in a while. Bill said that his friend will send him some of the best sketches. Howard asked if he sends over the bad ones. Bill laughed and said his buddy doesn't do that. He said this guy has been on the show since the same week he started on the show.
Howard asked Bill about the repackaging of the old SNL shows and if he gets paid for any of that. Bill said he got a check for 1 cent once. He said he hopes that they're paying the people who should be getting paid. He said they are making money off of those things and he hopes that they're paying the people who deserve it. Howard said he sounds like he's saying it sarcastically. Bill said that Lorne does help people when they need help.
Howard asked Bill why he doesn't host SNL. Bill said he does it once in a while. He said he really likes the group they have right now. Howard asked if he stays in touch with Dan Aykroyd. Bill said he is his friend for life. He said that he seems to be doing just fine. He said he has his interests and he keeps busy. He has a lot of different interests and he likes reading, driving cars and ghosts.
Howard asked Bill if he disliked Chevy Chase. Bill said that he does like him and he has no problem with him now. He said he does see him once a year or so. He hasn't seen him in a bit now but Chevy is funny and Chevy in life is almost funnier than everyone.
Howard asked Bill if he made love to all of the women on the show. Bill said ''Of course...'' but he was just joking.
Howard asked Bill if he's bitter about all of his divorces. Bill said no but said he was joking about that too.
Howard said he had Ron Howard in there and Ron told him a story about a script they were working on and how they ruined it because Bill was so hard to work with. Bill said they never really had a relationship so there was nothing to ruin. He said they did end up shooting this movie and Ron didn't want to make it so was kind of chagrinned to hear what he was saying. He said that he does like Ron and he's a nice person. He said he enjoyed him as an actor and he has had a long career. Howard said maybe the script just wasn't Ron's cup of tea. Bill said that it was odd that he didn't want to do it.
Howard said there was a time many years ago when he and Bill did Live at 5 the same night. Howard said he thought Bill hated him and he got very intimidated. He said that Governor Cuomo was there too. He said they all took a picture together and he was a nervous wreck. Howard asked Bill if they had a problem. Bill said that the guy who was most uncomfortable was Cuomo. Bill said that he remembers them telling him to get in the middle between Howard and Cuomo. Howard said that's his life.
Gary came in and said that Jerry Nackman came in and said that it was the decline of human civilization that day.
Randy And Evi Quaid Come In. 2/15/00. 8:40am
Actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi came in to discuss their strange legal problems with their movie ''The Debtors''. Howard spent a minute learning how the two of them met and got married within weeks of meeting each other. They met on a movie and Evi said Randy proposed to her on their first date. They've been together since 1989. Howard soon got into the discussion about their legal problems. Evi went on to explain this whole long story about how she directed this movie and had financing from some rich Microsoft guy. When the film was done Evi claims that the guy liked the movie but after he showed it to some friends he changed his mind and said he didn't like this one scene where a band squirted some fake semen on the crowd. He didn't ask Evi to change the scene he just decided not to let them release the film. Evi said that she didn't listen to the guy and took the movie to the Toronto Film Festival and showed it. She said that they loved it up there. There were judges who tried to stop her from showing it but she didn't listen to them and did what she wanted to. She says that she and Randy are using their own money to defend themselves in court and that they've now filed for bankruptcy. She also said that they did that to stop the litigation from continuing. Howard asked why they'd want to ruin their lives over a movie and asked them why they don't just drop it and move on with their lives. Evi went on to say that she wants to defend her artistic rights or something like that.
Harry Shearer Visits. 03/03/10. 8:30am
Howard asked Harry if he was ever molested by his piano teacher. He said he wasn't but his Spanish teacher kind of came on to him but never touched him. He told that story and it wasn't really a molestation story but more of a story about a spurned teacher.
Howard asked Harry about a bit he was going to do on the air where he did this ''Niggerrand'' thing about the Krugerrand that was being sold at the time. He said that he couldn't do that on TV now.
Howard asked Harry if he and the guys from Spinal Tap still get together. Harry said they still do. Howard asked about what went on with SNL. Harry told Howard that he wanted to come back when Lorne was out. He said that this woman who took over said she didn't want anyone who knew what they were doing. He left the show after that and did Spinal Tap. Then he went back to SNL. He said that Dick Ebersol is the one who tried to ''help'' Conan with his show.
Howard asked Harry about going back to SNL and who was on at the time. Harry talked about the cast and said that there were some bad ones on there. He said that Billy Crystal was an interesting one. He said he didn't get along with Billy. He said he had his footprints on his back. Harry said that Billy is a fairly ruthless guy. He said you never trust someone who does that sweet pose in their head shot.
Howard said that's what he thinks about Ellen. He said that he hears that she's pretty ruthless herself. Harry told Howard that the cast on SNL was too big at the time and Billy would do just about anything. He said that they had a really tasteless bit that they were going to do and no one wanted to do it other than Billy.
Harry said that Dick Ebersol would always tell them that they were doing stuff that was too expensive. Then Dick wanted him to do the political stuff on the show and he would have him dressed in Ronald Reagan make up for the whole show. Harry said that there's something about that building that makes people stop being funny. Howard said he felt the same way when he worked there. He said that they took all the happiness out of him and it made him humorless.
Howard said they treated him like shit over there so he understands what Harry is saying. Harry said he was mortified and humiliated walking out of that building back then. Howard asked if the building is too corporate or something. Harry said he's not sure. He said he read a book about ''Your Show of Shows'' one time and it was just different. They would write stuff on a Monday and work on it the rest of the week. He said it was done differently at SNL. He said they never wanted to do it in a professional way there.
Howard said they must have had ratings pressure on that show. Harry said they didn't because they don't have any competition. They were up against movies and stuff.
Howard said Harry left the show after half a year. Harry said that Dick Ebersol told him it wasn't working out and Harry asked to be paid what they owed him and he'd leave. He said they did that and he left. Harry said they did this opening for the show and they left him in that the rest of the year. He said they couldn't afford to take him out.
Next up we heard an Al Franken SNL bit where he was playing the character Frank Smalley. After that we heard from Norm MacDonald who said he liked Al Franken a lot when he went to SNL. He said that he and Al would pitch sketches to the hosts and Franken was fearless. He said he'd throw ideas out there about the stars fucking around on their wives and things like that. He said everyone would be wincing and Al just put comedy beyond everything else.
That led into an interview clip of Howard talking to Al Franken about his days on SNL. Howard asked Al about the stars of the show and how he got along with them. Al didn't have anything that bad to say about anyone.
Next up we heard an SNL bit with Tracy Morgan. After that we heard Jimmy Fallon talking about how he met Tracy and how unpredictable he was to work with. Jimmy said he will never break though. He said he's only seen it happen a couple of times. Jimmy said he knows Will Farrell can make him laugh.
That led into a show clip where Howard was talking to Tracy about his days on SNL. Here's what I had in my archives:
Comedian Tracy Morgan Visits. 11/01/06. 9:15am
Howard asked Tracy who the toughest guest was on Saturday Night Live. He said it was Tom Green and he was fucking with him during the sketch on live TV. He said he got pissed off at him and brought the cue card to him off the air and showed him where his lines were.
Tracy talked about working with Norm MacDonald and how great he was to work with. Artie said that Norm was impressed with him when he was working with him. Howard and Tracy talked more about SNL and how tough that job was. Tracy said it was really tough when he started out over there. He hasn't worked there since The Tracy Morgan Show was on. He said the show got canceled and they really fucked him on that whole thing. He said that it's like he got fucked up the ass and his asshole is hanging out and gaping.
Tracy got in a plug for his show ''30 Rock'' which is on tonight but moving to Thursday nights soon. They spent a minute on that and then Howard asked Tracy if he banged any celebrities while he was doing that show. He said he didn't get any chicks while he was there.
Today's SNL On Stern was over around 11:40am.
First up today we heard Howard talking about how he wishes that he could interview Dan Aykroyd. He said that it seems like he's gone out of the way to avoid the show. Howard said he thinks that he would have been a good interview in the past but now maybe that time has passed. Howard said he would really like to interview Eddie Murphy too because the interview he did at NBC wasn't all that great. He said he wasn't in his right mind to do an interview back then. Howard said the interviews back then were just awful and he wishes he could do them again.
They played an SNL bit where Eddie Murphy was doing his Buckwheat impression. Then we heard Jim Breuer talking about how Eddie was his biggest influence. Jim said in 1985 they called him the White Eddie Murphy after he got off stage. Next we heard Rob Schneider talking about what it was like working with Eddie and the security they had around him. Jim Belushi also talked about what a great guy Eddie was and how he'd talk to him about ideas. He said he did Trading Places with him too and he was a lower level guy at the time. Jim said he remembers the people who were kind to him at the time.
After that we heard Howard talking to Eddie Murphy when they were working at WNBC. Howard was talking to Eddie about growing up in Roosevelt and what that was like for Howard. Howard told Eddie that he didn't belong there and he got beaten up a lot there. Howard said he grew up on Conlon Road out there. Eddie said he's living in Jersey now. Howard said that he and Robin are big fans. Eddie said ''Oh, good.''
Howard said he'd get Eddie going now. He talked to him about going to high school in Roosevelt and how Eddie could probably buy the whole town with his money. Eddie said he has a couple of dollars but he hates talking money. Howard plugged his album and Eddie said if they played it on the air it would be one long beep.
Howard asked Eddie if he had anything he wanted to talk about. Eddie said he didn't. Howard said he thought the Roosevelt thing would get him going. He said he kissed his butt about the HBO special and things like that. Howard said Eddie isn't buying any of this stuff. He said he must not like getting his butt kissed.
Howard told Eddie that he wasn't able to get rid of Rip Taylor when he was there. He said the guy sat there for four hours. Robin said they couldn't get him to leave.
Robin said Eddie Murphy is there and he's a funny guy. He said they paid to see him at CW Post. Howard said it was very good and very funny. Howard said he's a funny man. He said that's not everything but Eddie is able to ad-lib and that's what counts.
Howard said Eddie talked to Barbara Walters in her TV special. Howard said she can't even say the word ''tree'' and he talked to her. Howard asked Eddie why that is. Eddie told him to ask him a question. Howard said he'll keep Eddie around and maybe get him to talk.
Howard asked Eddie if he had a girlfriend. Eddie said he does. Howard asked if she has a big chest. Eddie laughed.
Howard took some phone calls. One woman asked Eddie if he went to Nassau Community College. Eddie said he went for about 3 weeks. Howard said any idiot can get in there. Eddie said it's like the 13th grade. Howard said you can do a lot better than that school. Howard said that none of his friends that went there got a decent job. The caller said she went there and she's a secretary. Howard said she must be making at least 9 grand. Howard said he's proud of Eddie for dropping out of that school.
Eddie told Howard they're probably going to hear from the school after this. He wondered if this was really live on TV.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if Eddie ever worked for a radio station in Trenton, New Jersey. Eddie asked who started that rumor. The guy on the phone said he may have started it himself. He's the program director there. Eddie said he didn't work there. Howard wrapped up with Eddie and said that he knows he'll be back next week. Howard said Eddie will be a regular on the show. Eddie said he's there for good. Howard wrapped up a short time later.
After that we heard Joe Piscopo talking about Eddie and how they wanted to make him a feature player on the show. Joe said they figured he was the next Richard Pryor. He said that Eddie wrote a great sketch about too many white guys being in the NBA. Joe said they were about to go on the air and do this bit but then Eddie said that the kids at Roosevelt High weren't going to believe this. He said they did that sketch and he was off and running.
That led into an interview clip with Howard and Victoria. Howard was talking to her about the budget they have over there and if she hates that copy machine guy (Rob Schneider). Howard said he was on the show actually. He said he didn't say he was the copy machine guy. Howard asked why Dennis Miller didn't do his ''We are outta here'' thing this week. Victoria didn't get in an answer. Howard thought that maybe it was because they were sick of working with Steven Seagal. Victoria wasn't saying much of anything while Howard was trying to figure it out.
Howard asked if she was on the set when Roseanne Barr started blasting him. Victoria said she wasn't there. She said that Steven was nice to her. Howard said she's the kind of person that doesn't get people upset. He said she's really cute and no guy isn't going to respond to that. Howard said she's much like their own Robin Quivers. Howard asked if Steven tried to get it on with her. Victoria gave Howard the nod. She said she can't talk about these personal people.
Victoria said that she met Michael Bolton and he lives near her town. Howard asked what's up with his hair. He said he's like Larry from the Three Stooges.
After that Kevin said not too many things like that happened at SNL. He said it was such a tight ship it didn't really happen.
That led into a show clip with Howard interviewing Jim Breuer about working with Farley. Here's what I wrote in 2010:
Jim Breuer Visits. 06/07/10. 8:40am
Howard asked Jim about the years he was on Saturday Night Live. He said that he was on when Chris Farley hosted the show one time. He said that it was one of those funny and creepy moments. Jim said he was in a room with Tracy Morgan and they were roommates at the time. He said they were great premise guys and they would bounce ideas off one another. He said they were a disaster writing the bits but the premises were great. Jim said they could talk about going out to find a guy to write their bits.
Howard said he saw a clip of Jim and Jimmy Fallon doing Ozzy back and forth on some show. He said that it was great and very funny. Jim broke into the Ozzy impression and did that for a short time.
Jim told Howard that Farley was great to work with. He said he didn't know how bad things were with drugs and stuff. He said that they had some great meetings and Chris was the one who figured out that it was him and Tracy who had the weed. Jim said he was a weed guy at the time. He said Tracy was a drinker. Jim did his impressions of Tracy during that discussion. Howard said it must have been nuts living with Tracy. Jim said that he is nuts but he's also smart and intelligent. Jim said that they didn't actually live together, they were just working together a lot back then.
Jim told Howard that Tracy would come up with some crazy stuff. He said he'd tell him that he was there to make children and stuff and they'd have really deep discussions at times.
Jim told Howard about Farley being there to host and how he went into the pitch meeting to pitch some ideas. He said that Farley was in the room and he was twitching and sweating and standing up. He said he was going crazy and he was wondering if he was on something from their room. Jim said he went back to the room and started writing after the meeting and Marcy Klein came in. He said she's a big exec there at SNL. He said that she asked what they hell they did. Jim said they said they didn't do anything. Jim said she knew that they were his friends for the week. Tracy said he's a grown man with children and they didn't do anything. Jim said he told her not to talk to them like that because they're grown men.
Jim said they had Chris Rock there for the week as a back up just in case something happened with Farley. Jim said they were told to stay away from Farley. They didn't know how bad things were. Jim said that things got weird. He said he feels terrible because they had this window in their room and they got a knock on the window at like 11:30 at night. He said he felt this presence of evil at the door so he answered it. Then a couple of women came in and then Farley followed them in. He said Farley put a pile of coke on his desk. He said he looked at the chicks and they were the creepiest things he had ever been in front of.
Jim said he freaked out and went to the head writer's room to get away from it. He said he kept away from Farley for the rest of the week. Howard asked where Tracy was. Jim said Tracy stayed in there for a little bit. Howard said Tracy didn't care.
Jim said he got a phone call that week and his wife picked up. Jim said it was Farley. He said that his wife handed him the phone and Farley was on the line with people in the room. He said Farley was telling him to come down and have a great time with them. Jim said Farley cupped the phone and asked him if he's funny or is he just a fat, stupid guy. Jim said that he had to tell Farley how funny and great he was for 45 minutes. He said it was god awful. Jim said he started looking at things a little differently after that. Jim said they had lots of fat, stupid guy sketches to do.
Jim said that Farley is a tremendous performer. He said he did the motivational speaker thing that week. He said he did it live when he spit the water on everyone. He said they were live on the air at the time and it was the funniest thing he had seen. Jim said the guy was a great talent and he didn't recognize it.
Jim said about 3 months later he felt he had to call Farley. He said he told his wife he wanted to call so she told him to just do it. He called his manager and he said he'd get him the number. Then three days later he didn't have it and the day he went to get the number was the night Farley died. He said that he doesn't know if he could have done anything but that was very creepy.
They played a show clip where Howard interviewed Will Ferrell. Here's some of that interview as I wrote it up in 2003:
Actor Will Ferrell Comes In. 11/13/03. 7:55am
Howard talked to Will about the money he was making on Saturday Night Live. He said he was only making about $350,000 on that show. Howard brought up the movies he's done since then. Howard said that they're saying that ''Elf'' should do pretty well over the holidays. He figured that Will had to have made more that $3 million for that movie but Will said he didn't make that much. Howard said he's not getting the big bucks that they think he's getting. Now that he's got a hit movie though, he should be able to get some good money. Will and Howard discussed all of the people that are involved with Will's career.
Will told Howard about how his family responds to all of this stuff. Howard also thought that Will seemed a bit depressed but Will jokingly told him he has a quaaludes problem. Howard took some phone calls after that. A couple of people asked him about doing an ''Old School 2'' and stuff like that. Howard told Will to just be funny in all of the movies he does. He suggested not doing any dramas. One guy asked Will to please wake up because he's on the Howard Stern show.
After that we heard an SNL bit with Molly Shannon doing her Mary Catherine Gallagher character. That led into a clip of Howard playing a Stuttering John interview with Molly Shannon. Here's what I wrote in 1999:
Stuttering John Celebrity Interviews. 12/09/1999. 6:45am
John interviewed Molly Shannon from Saturday Night Live. Howard explained who she is and said she's a big fan of the show. She ran over to John when she saw him and said she loves Howard Stern. John tried asking her some questions but she was going on and on about how much she loves the show. John asked her how often she masturbates and if she still smokes weed. She ran off after the weed question without an answer.
After that quick clip they went to break.
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That led into a clip with Darrell Hammond in 2007. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Darrell Hammond Visits. 06/25/07. 8:40am
Howard brought up the SNL thing and asked him about what kind of money he'd be making. Artie said he thinks that Darrell could be making like $20,000 per episode or something like that. Howard asked him how many episodes they do every year. He said that they do 20 per year and it was an interesting question to ask. He asked Darrell if it's close to what Artie had estimated. Darrell wasn't talking about that stuff though.
Darrell did a little bit of his Ted Koppel impression and Artie was saying that he could probably make a ton of money doing corporate gigs. He could also make money doing voice overs but Darrell said that he never gets offers to do stuff like that.
Howard gave Darrell a plug for this play he's doing and Robin said that she knew of the play but didn't know that Darrell was in it. Howard said that he'd go see it and asked if he does any impressions in it. Darrell laughed and said he doesn't. He said he's playing the part of a whacked out principal in the play. The play is called ''The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee'' and Robin said she's heard it's really good.
Howard asked Darrell when he'll know when he's returning to SNL. Darrell said he doesn't know and didn't know a lot of answers to Howard's questions. Howard took some phone calls and let some fans talk to Darrell. One guy told him what a big fan he is. He also asked if he's got anything against MAD TV. That led to Artie saying that he's still getting checks from that show. He said they're only like $80 but they're still paying him.
Howard took a call from a guy who was doing a Bill Cosby impression. The guy wasn't all that great so Howard let him know that. The guy also did a bad Tom Brokaw so Howard hung up on him. Mark from Jersey City asked Darrell what his worst experience was with a guest. Darrell said that he had people like Paris Hilton looking at him as if it was painful for her to do so. He said he's not happy about her going to jail or anything but she did look at him like she had no idea who he was.
One caller asked Darrell to do his Clinton impression. He went into that for a few seconds but didn't do much material. Another caller said that the present cast of SNL seems to have a problem with the cue card reading these days. He said that the characters look in the opposite direction than they're supposed to be looking in. Darrell said he'd watch some tapes and get back to him.
Another caller told Howard that Darrell does a great Jay Leno. Hammond went right into that and Howard seemed to like that one. Howard went on to tell Darrell about why he dislikes Jay Leno because Darrell didn't seem to know why. Howard has a problem with the way Leno hired Stuttering John away from the show without telling him. He told Darrell all of the details about the conversation he had with Jay and how odd the guy really seems to be. Darrell said that he doesn't seem that bad to him.
Howard asked Darrell to respond to him saying that he's a robot. Darrell wouldn't answer, he was getting all confused and shit. That led to Howard playing some of the remixed clips from Jay's audio book where Richard makes him say things he never actually said. Darrell seemed to be impressed by the technology there. Howard asked him to do his Jay voice impersonating those clips but Darrell refused.
Howard asked Darrell to tell his worst Leno story. Darrell said he doesn't have one, he just does the Tonight Show and has a good time and gets treated very well. Howard told him to never do an audio book or they'll cut them up and make clips like those.
Actress Tina Fey Visits. 11/16/06. 9:05am
Howard asked Tina what they would do on SNL if a guest came in with a bunch of lame ideas that they just can't do. She said that the guy Adrian Brody did that and had a lot of ideas that were terrible. They just have to talk them out of doing that stuff or just don't do the bits. She said she thinks he got mad that they didn't take his ''great ideas'' and run with them.
Artie said that Norm MacDonald told him a story about George Clooney cornering him at SNL and telling him a joke. He didn't laugh but Clooney wouldn't let him go so he just told him that he had to go to the bathroom.
Howard asked Tina if she ever got into trouble with any celebrities when she was doing her news on SNL. She said she did one joke about Garth Brooks who got mad and called asking for an apology. She said that he wanted a full page ad in the newspaper but they never did it and he never did another special for NBC.
Tina had another joke one time about Mike Myers who called her and bitched her out for it. She said it wasn't even that bad but he called her personally and bitched her out for the joke.
Howard asked Tina about working there at SNL and found out she was actually the head writer there for a while. She said she's glad that she's out of it now, she was there for 9 years. She said she would consider going back again but she would have to take a break first.
Howard asked Tina about her show ''30 Rock'' which is now airing on Thursday nights on NBC. She said they shoot that right there in New York City. Tina said that they were very lucky to have gotten the show on the air. The guys spent some time talking about the fan sites out there and how everyone tends to get bashed no matter how good they are.
Howard asked Tina if she would dress up in an outfit for her husband if he wanted. She said she would do that if he asked. She said that he works at SNL as a music director. Howard told her he's a fan of hers and gave her a plug for her show ''30 Rock'' which is on at 9:20pm tonight. She said she's happy that they moved the show to Thursday because no one was watching it on Wednesday nights.
Howard told Tina that when Tracy Morgan was on the show recently, he said that he had slept with one of the guest hosts. Tina said that's not possible, no one would sleep with Tracy. She said she thinks that he's lying about that.
Howard read a plug about how ''30 Rock'' is available on iTunes. He didn't know what that meant so Tina had to explain to him that people can buy it and put it on their iPod. Howard asked Tina who she would like to sleep with if she cheated on her husband. She said it would have to be Paul Newman but she'd have to go back in time to when he was hot.
Comedian Tracy Morgan Visits. 11/01/06. 9:15am
Howard asked Tracy how he got on Saturday Night Live. Tracy said it's his balls, he's been funny all his life and people told him that he should be doing comedy. He said he started doing comedy on stage and had 7 minutes of material his first time up on stage. He told Howard that the Brown Brothers discovered him. They put him on TV with his 7 minutes of material on Uptown Comedy Club on FOX. He also did Def Jam with Martin Lawrence.
Howard asked Tracy about his kids and found out that one of them is 21 years old. Tracy said that they're all old enough to make babies of their own. He also told Howard that he's not with any other woman, his dick is only for his wife Sabina. He told Howard about how they play rape sometimes. He puts on a ski mask and pretends to be doing a home invasion and then he pretends to rape her while she's in the bathroom.
Howard told Tracy to go play rape with Robin over there. Tracy told her that she's looking good. Howard told her to show him her feet since he's so into the foot thing. Robin just laughed. Tracy said he likes mature women and his wife is one of them. He said he likes the women even if they have cellulite and c-section scars and stuff like that. He's from the ghetto and that's what he likes.
That led into a clip of Howard interviewing Chevy Chase in 2008. Here's some of what I wrote that day:
Chevy Chase Visits. 09/18/08. 7:55am
Howard asked Chevy about getting into a fight with Bill Murray on the set of Saturday Night Live. Chevy said that he didn't know Bill that well but he went to host the show in 1978 or so, after he had left, and he and Bill had a bit of a disagreement.
Chevy said that he heard from Lorne that John Belushi had been kind of jealous of his rise to fame. He said that was probably deserved because John was so brilliant. Howard said that Chevy had become the face of SNL at the time. Chevy said that Bill had been told some stuff about him that wasn't true and that probably worked Bill up before he got there. He thinks that Bill may have wanted to knock him down a few rungs at the time. He said that some words were said right before the show and Bill got him really pissed off. He said that he couldn't repeat what he said to him though.
Howard asked Chevy to share that stuff but Chevy didn't want to say what Bill had said to him. Chevy said that he saw John Belushi sitting there in Bill's dressing room and he saw that look on his face like he was the instigator. He said that John rushed to the door to block off what was going to happen. He ended up getting punched when they started to get into it.
Chevy said that he and Bill were never all that close but they have hung out and played golf together. He said that they do get together for stuff like that. They've also tried to put all of that other stuff behind them.
Howard asked Chevy about doing Caddyshack and what he got paid to do that. Chevy said it was about a week's worth of work and they paid him something like 800 grand. Howard said that was when 800 grand was 800 grand too.
Artie said that knowing the story about Bill and Chevy makes that Caddyshack movie even more interesting. They improvised a scene together. Chevy said that he and Bill didn't have a scene together so they made one up and improvised it. Chevy talked about that scene and how it worked out. Artie liked hearing that story too.
Howard said that it must have been hard to tune in to see Bill Murray replace him. Chevy said he never watched it after he left. He said that he would watch some of the stuff over time though. He said that they were doing some funny stuff.
Howard said he thinks it's a miracle that Chevy was able to have a lasting marriage with Janie. He said that he was a young, funny guy in Hollywood and he can't imagine the stories his penis could tell. Chevy said that he could make it talk to him but the studio was a little too small.
Howard asked Chevy if he had ever met Artie. Chevy introduced himself to Artie. Chevy didn't remember working with him on Dirty Work. Artie reminded him so Chevy remembered it then. Artie said he worked with Chevy for a whole weekend on that movie. Chevy said that they edited out a bunch of stuff from the movie and he really wanted to do it. Artie told Howard about this one scene that they shot but didn't put in the movie. Artie said that they were getting back at some guys who beat them up and they sent them some donuts. When they finished the donuts the jocks saw that the donuts were on his and Norm's cocks. They shot that but it didn't make it into the movie.
Chevy was saying that they should have made that movie R instead of PG-13. He said that the movie ''Vacation'' was rated R and it did very well even with that R rating. Chevy said that the companies that put the movies out are the people making those decisions and they will cut out lines based on who they think they're going to offend.
Howard asked Chevy if he's still close with anyone from SNL these days. Chevy said that he's still close with Dan Aykroyd. He said that he was close to Gilda Radner too. Howard said that he thought that he wasn't friendly with many of the cast at all for some reason. Chevy said that he thinks that they would all say that they were very close back when they first started out. He said that he didn't take himself that serious back then. He said that stuff came on later in his career.
Chevy said that they were very close in that first year there and he couldn't imagine that anyone had any negative stories about him back then. He said that he was the head writer there and he would write people into the scenes if they didn't have other scenes in the show.
Chevy talked about writing the Land Shark bit and said that he was good at doing the voice for that. He said that he came up with that bit all alone and he thought it was great to have the shark talking. Chevy said that he still has that original script that he type up in his house somewhere.
Howard asked Chevy about doing the movie Foul Play and if he and Goldie became lovers. Chevy said that they actually did fall for each other back then. Howard said that she was the hottest chick back then. Chevy said that she's still a lovely woman to this day.
Chevy said that he had the choice to do either Animal House or Foul Play and he chose to do Foul Play and work with Goldie Hawn instead of working with John Belushi again. He said he'd rather work with Goldie of course. Howard said that there was no sexier woman than Goldie Hawn back then.
Howard asked Chevy if he could last a long time with Goldie. Chevy said he never said he entered her. He said that he and Goldie are still friends to this day. He said that he and Goldie just grew apart back then. He said there was no problem that way. He didn't want to be with just one person back then and he thinks that Goldie didn't want to be in a relationship like that either.
Howard said that John had a bunch of questions for Billy. He played the clip and John tells him that his name is Paul. He asked Billy a few questions and Billy quickly got upset. He told John to take those questions back to Howard and shove them up his fucking ass.
Howard said he had to listen to that again. John told Howard that Billy took the list of questions. Howard laughed when he heard that. Howard said the next question was ''Why can't Martin Short get arrested?'' Howard said there were a bunch of them that John didn't get to. Howard said maybe he can call in with his other answers. Howard replayed the interview after that. Howard said one of the questions they were going to ask was ''Isn't it ironic that Mr. Saturday Night closed on Saturday Afternoon?'' They spent a couple more minutes on that before going to break.
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Howard said they expected that he was going to do something different with Fartman on MTV when he appeared on that show. He said this might be the most interesting thing Saturday Night Live has ever done. He said Lorne Michaels must be thrilled.
Gary said her new album is covers of old songs so he's not sure how this ended up on the show. Howard said she seems to be desperate for attention.
Howard took a call from a guy who had the audio of Sinead's performance. Howard had the guy play it. Howard was making snoring sounds as it played. Robin said someone should give her a box and set it up on the street because that's basically what she's doing. The caller played the part where she rips up the picture and there was no applause when she says ''Fight the real enemy.''
Howard asked who she's at war with. Robin said they say that she's got problems with the catholic church. Robin read some other things about her before they moved on.
Next up we heard a Weekend Update bit with Rob Schneider doing a segment with Kevin Nealon. Then we heard from Sarah Silverman who said that Rob was terrifying when he was at SNL. She said he's really nice to her now but back then it was terrifying. She said he was a hot head and he and Al Franken would go at it. She said she was 22 back then and she couldn't believe that these other grown ups were having screaming matches. She said it was like she did when she was a kid. Sarah said she wasn't able to just laugh at it. It was scary to her. She said Rob was pretty brutal and she was trying to get an Update piece on and she remembers him telling her that she kept shoving it down their throats. She said she has perspective on it now so it's great to see him when she sees him now.
That led into a clip of Howard interviewing Rob for the first time on the show. Howard asked Rob about how he got on SNL and what characters he does on the show. Rob said he thinks that someone sent Lorne a tape of what he does.
Howard asked Rob what characters he does. Rob told Howard he does the copy machine guy and some other bits. Howard asked Rob about Roseanne Barr flipping out on him recently. Howard said he heard that someone delivered like 10 pizzas to Roseanne and she thought that he had sent them. Howard said he didn't do it. He heard that Roseanne flipped out on him saying that he's a real jackass and stuff. Rob said she's very sensitive to stuff.
Howard said he heard that Dana Carvey talked to Roseanne and said he was thinking of creating a character based on him. Howard said he's going to watch him very closely and he wants him to create a character that asks Dennis Miller about his wife on the air. He said he's going to develop a Rob Schneiber character. Rob corrected Howard and said it's actually Schneider. Howard told him to give this message to Dana and make sure he doesn't do anything wrong or they'll get very mean. Howard said both he and Dennis Miller will be on the hit list.
Rob said he thought that Howard wanted him on the show because he knew the character he did on the show. Howard told him not to take it so hard. Howard said that they're actually competing with SNL with their own show. Howard said they may hire Rob away to do that show. Howard said they don't have any writers on his show. They have Jackie and Fred.
Howard found out that Suzanne Vega was there so Howard had her come in. Rob told her that he was just there to take some messages back to some people he works with.
Howard told Rob about what Gilbert Gottfried was up to there earlier. He said that he didn't want to go to individual radio stations so he held a press conference and not one station showed up to it.
Howard said he was impressed to meet Rob. He told him to bring those messages back to Dana Carvey. He said he can be like satan and he will get on the radio and blast them for 4 hours until they're silly. Howard let Rob go a short time later.
That led into a clip of Howard interviewing Norm in 2009. Here's what I wrote:
Norm MacDonald Visits. 05/07/09. 8:55am
Artie said back when they were shooting Dirty Work they were rehearsing. He said that Saget was walking them through the scenes and Norm and this girl were doing their lines and Norm hocked up a loogie and spit it on the wall of the Four Seasons hotel. Artie said the girl was horrified.
Howard said Greg Fitzsimmons was doing an interview with this girl Laura Kightlinger and she hates him. Norm just laughed. Artie said that she's a stand-up and Norm knows who she is. Norm said he has no problem with her. Howard played the audio of Laura going off on Norm on the Greg Fitzsimmons show that airs Monday nights at Midnight on Howard 101.
In the clip Laura said that Norm loves to pit people against each other and he'd pass along articles about people on SNL saying stuff about each other. She said that Norm wasn't a nice person and he didn't treat her very well or anyone else on the show.
Norm said that he didn't remember her from the show other than her ''hit characters on the show.'' Norm said that Janeane Garofalo used to bad mouth people and he'd ask them why she was out there doing that. That's all he was doing back then.
Howard said Norm looked surprised that Laura was saying that he was supposed to be her guide at SNL. Norm said that she came in right after he did so he wasn't sure why he would be her guide. Norm also said he has no idea how to tell women to be funny so that's nonsense.
Jim Belushi also talked about what a great mimic Dana is. He said that he's kind and gentle and cunningly funny too.
David Spade also commented on Dana and how he was told he was brought in to light a fire under Dana. He said he had to coach him how to do Michael J. Fox once and that was the only character he could do at the time. David said Dana was one of the greats ever on SNL.
They played a show interview where Howard talked to Dana on the phone. They talked about Woody Allen and Howard went off on him about what he's been up to with Soon Yi. Howard said he's not sure why he has to hurt this woman he was with for 12 years by dating her daughter.
Howard said he's sure that Dana falls in love with the guest hosts on the show. Howard said he's glad that Dana called in and he would never bad mouth his talent. Howard asked Dana how his wife looks. Dana said she's great. Howard asked if she's going to be at the MTV awards. Dana said she will be there. Howard said they should get together and have some schnapps or something. Howard let him go a short time later.
They played an interview clip with Kevin from 2009. Here's some of my rundown:
Kevin Nealon Visits. 03/05/09. 7:45am
Howard asked Kevin how he got on SNL. Kevin said that Dana Carvey was renting a room over his garage and he was a friend of his. He said that Dana got on the show that summer and he was kind of watching what was going on with that. He was dating Jan Hooks at the time and she was also up for a spot on that show. He said that they were friends for like 6 years before that. Howard asked Kevin about that relationship and how that went when he broke up with her. Kevin said that it was kind of uncomfortable. He said that Jan wasn't too happy with him around that time.
Howard asked Kevin if he had anal with Jan. Kevin just laughed because he said that's the Howard he was waiting for.
Kevin told Howard that he knew Dana and Jan and they were both up for the show. He said that Dana called him from Lorne Michaels' house and told him that they were looking for one more guy. Dana told him to send in his tapes so he could try out for the show.
Howard said that he would be jealous of Dana if he were Kevin. Kevin said that he was very happy for Dana and wasn't jealous at all. Howard said that he's not like that and he would be so jealous of the guy if he was hanging out with Lorne Michaels and the guys from Saturday Night Live.
Kevin said that he sent in his tapes and Dana called him to tell him about hanging out with some of the other guys from SNL. Howard said that Dana was probably making all of that up and doing the voices himself from his apartment.
Kevin said that he started to get excited about SNL. He said that he flew back to New York and they all auditioned. He said that the cast were all there and watching him audition. Kevin said that he knew a lot of the guys there and he wasn't that nervous because he figured there was no way he was ever going to get the job.
After that we heard Kevin talking about how big of a fan he is of Howard's. He said when Howard is doing a bit or talking he makes him laugh. He said Howard is one of the few that can make him laugh. He said he has a good time even though he says he hates himself. Kevin said he grew up with guys like that and he can relate. Kevin said he has no more room for friends according to Facebook so he can't have another one. They went to break after that.
That led to them playing a clip from a 2010 interview with both Chris Rock and David Spade. Here's what I wrote back then:
Chris Rock And David Spade Visit. 06/21/10. 7:05am
Howard asked Chris and Spade about working on SNL with Sandler. They actually shared an office together. Howard asked if they were surprised that Adam became a movie star. Chris said that Adam worked harder than anyone there. He said that Sandler was always in the office writing. Howard asked Chris if he wrote a lot. Chris said he did but it was another time in his life. He said he got discovered on a tape called Comedy's Dirties Dozen. He said he was on the tape with Dice, Jackie and a bunch of other guys. Chris said there was a guy who saw him in that and he got the audition on SNL from that. He said that he knew Sandler before that though. He said he was a great stand-up comic at the time. They said that it was getting to the point that people were just yelling shit out during his shows though. It was out of control.
Howard said he's amazed at how Chris has control over his audience. He said it's amazing that he has that power. Chris said he was really washed up back then after he was off SNL. He said he had nothing going on in 1993-1995 or so. He was out of the business at the time. Chris said he used to do Politically Incorrect with Pat Boone and people like that. He said his career was over. Chris said that the SNL guys were always cool to him. Spade said that's because they all go through the same shit.
Howard asked Chris what motivated him to get going after all of that. Chris said he had that SNL credit so he had some stand-up work. He said his goal was to become Richard Jeni or Dom Irrera or someone like that. He said that he wanted to be like those guys making some good money doing stand-up. He said he would have loved to have lived like George Wallace. He said Wallace does his gigs and flies all over the world doing his stuff. Chris said he was so out of show business at the time though. Howard said that Chris created that masterpiece special ''Bring the Pain'' after that.
Spade told a story about Lara Flynn Boyle and how he was dating her. He said they were near the end of the relationship at the time and Lara wasn't even talking to him at that point. He said they went to the Chris Rock show and she was standing up and clapping about all of the jokes that were about small dicks and things like that. Chris said that anything that was a burn on him she'd stand up for.
Howard asked the guys if they ever stand on stage and think about how dumb it is standing there and telling jokes to people, or do they love it. Spade said he loves it. He said he does alright but he's not like Chris Rock. David said he doesn't put in a year straight of doing the same show. He said he can't even do 5 shows in a week. He said it turns into Groundhog Day for him when he does that.
Howard said that Don Rickles told him that he just wings it when he does his act. The guys found that hard to believe. Spade told a story about Chris Farley going to see Rickles and some of the jokes that Rickles was doing with him. They all got some laughs out of that and said that Rickles really is a genius.
After that we heard David Spade talking about the kind of humor he and Chris have and how it's kind of like Howard's. He said that's why he can get on Howard's show and do what he does. He said that Chris and Colin (Quinn) are like that too. David said that things will come out on the air but it's easy to talk to Howard about them.
Keenan Thompson talked about Joe Piscopo and how great he was on the show. He said he hung out with Joe one night.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Joe on the show. In the clip Howard asked if he even stays in touch with Eddie Murphy. Joe asked why it even matters. Howard said it does matter. Joe said people always ask him what the story is with Eddie. He said he's never said that he never talks about Eddie except to say that he's a dear friend.
Howard asked Joe if Michelle Marsh wrote him a letter. Howard said he got one and he thinks that she's looking for a husband. Joe said they were safer talking about Eddie. Howard asked if he's ever seen Eddie's penis. Joe said ''no comment.'' Howard said he bets that it is big. Joe said he's a big talent and that's all that matters.
After that we heard from Joe Piscopo who talked about how proud he is to have known everyone from SNL. He said not so much with Howard.
They played an interview with Colin where Colin told Howard about how he had a lot of crazy stuff going on with his wife. Howard said he didn't know that he was married. Colin said it's a really long story. Howard told him to tell him the story. Colin said he'd see if she wanted to come in tomorrow to talk about it.
Howard asked Colin if his wife gained weight. Colin said the problem is him. He said he messed up. He said his wife found some stuff he had written on the internet to another woman and she left him. He said he had it in an Instant Message and the wife saw it. Here's some of that story as I wrote it in 2004:
Colin Quinn Comes In. 01/12/04. 6:30am
Howard was going to talk about his party but started to get into Colin's failed marriage that was annulled. Colin was only married for a short time before his wife caught him cheating and split. Howard said that he thinks Colin could have made the marriage last if he'd just been given some more time. Howard said he brought a real cute chick to the party on Friday night but he's not dating her. Colin said she's just a friend. Howard said he's never really had a chick as a friend like that. Robin asked him ''What about me?'' That led to Colin saying that she looked really good in the dress she was wearing at the party. Colin also brought up Mr. X who was at the party.
Howard talked about the music that they had playing at the party on Friday night. He said that there was a Beyonce song playing that was pretty good to dance to until the rap part comes up. Then, he says, you don't know what to do. Howard told Gary to get him the song while he spoke to Colin.
Colin gave Howard a run down of his marriage and how that went south on him. Colin said that he was instant messaging someone and his wife found out about it and things went wrong from there. He said the IM thing all started when she caught him IM'ing someone he'd never even met. That led down the road to marriage failure. Howard tried to figure out the whole thing and how Colin's wife found out. Colin said she was able to find the IM thing in his computer somehow. Colin said that he groveled and tried to get out of it but it didn't work. Howard said that he was dating someone after his divorce and one of the women he was dating went into his date book and found that someone was coming to town. Howard said that he didn't trust the person after that because she'd snooped like that. Howard got back to Colin and asked him more about his problems. Colin said he didn't try to get out of the situation by lying more.
Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to Colin about the whole failed marriage. He wondered how his wife was able to find the IM stuff in his computer. A listener called in and said that she probably had some kind of spyware software installed on his computer. Howard took some phone calls after that and ended up talking football a little more. They were talking about the games that went on over the weekend and what was coming up next weekend.
In the clip Gilbert read the article to Howard and they said that he was cursed because of his appendix problem. Howard said Gilbert was there at SNL the year that they fired everyone but Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo. Gilbert said no one even told him that he was fired. He was at work and then they called him into the office to break the news but he had found out from a fan letter.
Howard played some audio of Gilbert playing the character Aladdin in an animated movie. Howard played the clip and then said that there's an on-air Gilbert and an off-air Gilbert. Howard said you should see Gilbert watching himself as that clip is playing. Howard then played a clip of Gilbert leaving a message for Gary on his answering machine and he has a totally different voice. Howard said that's the scariest Gilbert. That's like serial killer Gilbert.
Howard said that's the Gilbert that's dying in the hospital. Howard said he hasn't even heard from Gilbert since he was in the hospital that time. Howard said Gilbert once turned to him saying he was going to get out of show business when he thought he was dying. Howard said that's what scared him the most when Gilbert was examining his life. Gilbert did some of his Groucho Marx impression and goofed around with that for a minute. He had Howard laughing.
Next up we heard Gilbert talking about how he's gotten used to the way Howard treats him on the show. He said that it's always been like this though. He said they'll tell him he's doing the Stern Show and he dreads waking up early and waiting to go in. Then he gets on and always has fun. He said that he hates everything before going on the air but then he loves it when he gets on.
We heard from Jim Belushi who said that Franken is a senator now and he was a writer. He said that he did Trading Places with them. He said Davis is one of the great writers and Dan Aykroyd loves him.
That led into a clip of Howard interviewing Franken and Davis. They were insulting Howard about the look of his face. Howard said he heard that they didn't like him.
Howard asked the guys what they think of Chevy Chase. Franken said that the guy is very funny. Howard said he sees, they just want to work with him. Howard said he used to rip off what they wrote and he'd throw it the garbage. Howard said Chevy claimed he had back problem and that's why he had a drug problem. Howard said he had problems with his back too but he doesn't have a drug problem.
Howard asked the guys if they ever saw Milton Berle's penis. Tom said he got a second hand account of it but didn't see it himself. They wrapped up and moved on a short time later.
Then we heard from Darrell Hammond who said that Damon tried to do this character on SNL and he did it without telling people there. They played a little audio of that segment.
Keenan Thompson said that you can't do things like that these days. He said you can't burn bridges like that now.
Lorne Michaels said that Keenan was a very funny guy and he was relatively undisciplined. He said that one of the things you expect is to not be surprised and have them go off in another direction. He said you can throw someone off doing that. Lorne said it's fine for a stand-up but not fine for a sketch comic. He said he let it be known to Damon and he was very upset with him.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Damon Wayans. Here's some of what I wrote in 1999:
Comedian Damon Wayans Comes In. 5/21/99. 7:25am
Damon Wayans came in to promote his book ''Bootleg'' this morning. Howard has been playing tapes from Damon's HBO special for a few weeks now and he thinks he's really funny. Howard spent time talking to Damon about his life and how he grew up poor and as a Jahova's witness. Damon now lives in Beverly Hills with his four kids. He told a story about how he got a colonic not too long ago and he accidentally crapped on the table he was lying on. He said he was scheduled for 12 visits but only went to the one. He said he was traumatized by the experience. Damon will be signing his book at the Barnes and Nobel in Paramus, NJ tonight at 7pm. The book is based on his stand-up comedy routines.
They went to break after that segment.
They played a clip of Harry Shearer calling Howard. In the clip Harry talked about his book and how he wanted to call it ''Lorne Michaels Must Die.'' Howard asked what happened when he was on the show that was so bad. Harry said there were weeks when he had no idea what was going on and why he was left out of the loop. Robin said she read that Lorne wanted him to do all of the political stuff. Harry said that was when he was there the second time and it wasn't Lorne who wanted him to do that. It was Dick Ebersol.
Gary said that Harry is the only guy from SNL who cut an ID for Howard's birthday show. He said everyone else turned him down.
Howard said that Joe Piscopo was on the show and he didn't even get to go to the reunion show. Howard said that Harry was kept off and so was Joe. Harry said he did get a seat in the audience. He said he wasn't invited to the reunion though.
Howard asked if he was glad that Billy Crystal's movie bombed. Harry said he was happy and he bought dinner for a few friends when he heard the news. He said that when bad things happen to bad people you have to celebrate.
After that they played a clip of Howard interviewing Norm about how he was hated at this comedy gig he did at a college. He didn't get paid even though he did the 10 minutes he had to do to honor his contract. Norm said everyone there was drunk and he started talking about drinking. He said sometimes people don't know what he does in his comedy act. He said they think that he knows about the news but he really doesn't.
Howard had a guy on the line who said he saw Norm that night. The guy said Norm went into a bit about who was on drugs and asked who was on crack and the whole crowd went silent. He said the crowd was great with the comedian before Norm. Norm said they all agree on that. Norm said he talked to the audience about how the crack was there in Quinnipiac.
Norm said that he had some jokes that he told but he can't tell them on the air. Another caller said that he took like 15 minutes to tell one joke.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Jim Belushi in 2006. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Jim Belushi Visits. 05/15/06. 9:25am
Artie asked Jim about this book ''Belushi'' that's out and Jim said he thinks it's a great book. He said that the book shows how his brother fought for the stuff he did and how intense he was about his craft. Artie asked him if he had trouble with Michael Eisner like his brother did. Jim said he got along with him and his brother was always battling with everyone he worked for so that was just the way things were with him.
Howard took another call from a woman who asked if Jim has used his technique on a lesbian. Jim said that lesbians don't want him down there so he's never tried that. Another caller talked to Jim about a movie he worked on with him called ''Thief.''
Howard hung up on him and moved on to another caller. That caller claims that Jim walked out of his house half naked one time and chased him away. Jim said this is a drunk asshole who was coming on his yard. He said that he thought there was an animal out there and he ran out naked to chase the guy away. Jim claims that the guy was trying to bang some chicks on his yard. He also said that the guy was caught the week before trying to sneak onto the beach and he tried again.
Howard said it must have been quite a site to see Jim naked out there. Jim said he's got two German shepherds and he had to take care of things. He's got a family to take care of. He said that the dogs kept the guy at bay and he had the guy arrested. The caller said that the judge said that they should have pressed charges against Jim because there was no reason to have the dogs cornering them. Jim said that's bull shit and the guy is just a drunk. Howard gave Jim another few plugs and then went to break a short time later.
That led into an interview clip where Howard talked to Tracy Morgan about Tina Fey and ''30 Rock.'' Here's some of that write up from 2008:
Tracy Morgan Visits. 10/29/08. 7:40am
Howard asked Tracy to talk about some of the women he's slept with. Tracy said that he'd be surprised if he told him that stuff. Howard asked Tracy if he slept with J-Lo. He said that he only kissed her. He said that her breath smelled like Carnation milk. He said he did masturbate thinking about her fine ass though.
Howard asked if he fucked Kate Hudson. Tracy said he just kissed her. He also kissed Britney Spears and didn't fuck her. He mentioned Lucy Liu too but he didn't fuck her either. Tracy said that they were all hot.
Howard asked Tracy who he went on dates with. Tracy said that he was going to tell a story and then give him a name. Tracy said this person was in town and he brought her up to SNL during hiatus. He said he wanted to break in his new dressing room and he banged her doggy style standing up. He said he jizzed across her butt hole and everything. He had three fingers in her ass too. then he said that it was Lee Remick who is actually dead. Tracy said that was a fantasy of his.
Howard asked Tracy who he dated. He said there's no shame in saying you dated someone. Tracy said that he's dated half of Hollywood. He wasn't giving any names. He said that next year he'll give names. Tracy said he did date Lil Kim but he wasn't giving a lot of details on that.
Howard asked Tracy about 30 Rock and how big that's getting now. Tracy said that they need Howard Stern on that show. They have Oprah making an appearance on there. Tracy said that he would kiss Oprah if he had to. He said she was fine looking and he would bang her if he had the chance. He said he'd put his dick in a jelly donut if he could. Tracy said that Robin is his type and he wouldn't even pull out with her. He said he'd do her standing up too.
Howard asked Tracy about Jennifer Aniston being on the show too. Tracy said he thinks that she's hot. Howard said he doesn't find her sexy at all but Tracy said that he does. He said that she's the kind of chick who would fuck your brains out.
After that they played a clip of Howard talking to Robert on the phone in 2010. Here's some of my write up from that day:
Robert Downey Jr. Calls In. 05/13/10. 8:30am
Howard asked how the sex life is. Robert said it's the greatest. Howard said he ran into Robert in a restaurant when he was starting to date Beth. Robert said they felt that was a good omen for them. Howard asked how often they have sex now. Robert had Susan there with him so he put her on the phone with Howard. Howard asked if she's naked right now. She said she's not. Howard asked how many times a week they have sex. Robert said that if they're in a place that they can do it, they might do it 2 or 3 times a week.
Robert said that sometimes they're stressed out so they have to jump into bed and do it. He said that they have to do it sometimes. Susan said that they're very intimate all the time even if they don't go to that place. She said that they're intimate all the time. Robert said he's 45 now so he's more like the girl in the relationship now. He said that she terrifies him with her sexual energy at times. Howard asked if Susan has to initiate sex. Robert said that's not it.
Howard asked Susan if there is jealousy when she sees that Scarlet Johansson on the set with Robert. Howard said he's gotten crazy seeing Beth working with other guys. Susan said it doesn't bother her in the slightest but she's been doing this for 15 years. Robert said she doesn't think of him like that. She said it's just part of the job.
Howard asked about going to marriage therapy. Susan said it's not that often. She said that he goes and she'll just go in when it's necessary. Howard asked why it is that they have to go to therapy. He asked what gets Susan upset. Susan said they don't go because there is a crisis. They go to just check in. They have a lot of shit that goes on in their lives. Howard asked what the issues are. He said maybe the child from the other relationship or something like that. Robert said he might have to work on his character defects. Susan said they're working creatively together so they have to work on that. Howard said it could be the kiss of death if they work together like that. Robin said that's why they're going to therapy.
Robert said they like working together and Susan is a great producer. He said they like a little bit of chaos in their life but they need to have a creative director. He said there is no reason for them not to spend all of their time together. Howard said that's a good point because he can't imagine being away from his wife for 4 months at a time.
Robert said that they don't go more than 2 weeks without seeing each other. Robert said that he gets pissed of when he doesn't see his wife. He said she can tell when he acts like they're not a couple anymore and gets upset with her. Robert said that's why they have to see each other all the time. Howard said he understands all of this because it sounds like him. Robin said they sound like a joy to be around.
Howard asked Robert and Susan if they have any big celebrity friends. Howard told them about the party that Jimmy Kimmel is throwing for him. Robert said that sounds cool. Robert said that his assistant is more excited about him being on Howard's show today than she is about any of his movies. Robert said there are a lot of people who listen to Howard out there and there are probably a lot of secret Santa fans out there.
Howard said he would invite Robert and Susan to the party but they're out in Napa. Robert said they're on their way back actually. Howard said he should have them out there then.
After that we heard Lorne Michaels talking about the season Downey was on. He said it's kind of hard to pick up the whole way of doing things there. He said they were a bit young and it just didn't work.
They played an interview Howard did with Anthony Michael Hall. Anthony said he's a fan of Howard's. John asked him why he doesn't do any John Hughes films. Anthony said he's a scum bag, that's why. Howard wondered what went on there. Howard said that John Hughes does really well with just about every movie he puts out.
John stuttered in one question and Anthony goofed on him doing an impression of the stutter. John asked if he dated Molly Ringwald. Anthony said he did. He said she's very moody but very sexual. John asked if he regrets doing Saturday Night Live. Anthony said he loved it.
John asked Anthony who helped Johnny Depp urinate while filming Edward Scissor hands. Anthony said it was a crew of men who had to help. John asked if Molly is red all over. Anthony said she is and then ran off.
Today's SNL On Stern was over around 11:00am.
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First up on today's SNL On Stern we heard Howard talking about the time he appeared on SNL. He said he ran into Lorne Michaels recently and told him that he appreciates what he's done. He said he's had a pretty good batting average with the people he's picked to be on the show. Howard said getting your experience in front of the camera like that... He said if something bombs they get to come back next week and try to get it right.
After that they played a Weekend Update clip with Kevin Nealon. Then we heard from Sarah Silverman who talked about Michael McKean who did his impression of Howard the year she was there. She said that Adam Sandler played Baba Booey and Ellen Kleghorn played Robin.
Next up they played a Howard Stern Show clip where Howard and Robin talked about the sketch with Michael McKean and Ellen Kleghorn. Howard and Robin talked about that for a short time. Howard said he thought the segment was great. He said they were all very funny in their parts. Howard said Phil Hartman played Governor Cuomo. Howard said McKean had him down and he even had the jacket he wears. He said he'd give it an A+. Howard said Dan called him and told him about the bit they were doing. He said Dan told him to hurry up and turn the TV on. He said he mumbles his words together and one word runs into the next.
Howard said he could tell that Michael McKean wrote the bit because he's a fan of the show and knows what's going on. Robin said she didn't see the whole thing. Howard said it's real funny. Howard said no one was talking about it so he had to show it to his parents. He said his mother talks through it and his father has to shush her.
Howard said he and Dan were watching and picking apart the show after that. He said he liked it but Dan didn't. Howard said they had a lot of the nuances from the show in the sketch. Howard said the visual was the thing you have to see. He said he didn't think it would play well on the air.
Next up they played a clip of Howard playing that SNL sketch. Howard said it sounded just like Robin when Ellen Kleghorn was doing Robin's voice. Howard said they even got in a plug for Jackie at the end of the sketch. Howard said that was pretty funny. Howard played more of the sketch and said they have to call Michael to tell him how good he was in it. Chris Farley got up and yelled out ''We love you Howard!'' in the sketch. McKean keeps going as Howard and burps and tells everyone what he ate. It was very much like the Stern show. Howard said the sketch was actually very good and it played okay over radio.
Howard played more of the clip and they get to the part where Adam Sandler comes out as Baba Booey with the big, fake teeth in. Howard said he had Gary down pretty good. Howard said he was all confused and it was very funny. Then McKean gets in his plugs and mentions Jackie and does the ''Live from New York... It's Saturday Night!''
Howard said McKean was doing his fake ''Hoo, hoo, hoo'' laugh in that sketch. He said it made him feel famous to see that sketch on the show. He figured no one would know who it was other than people in New York. He said it was funny though.
Next up we heard Lorne Michaels talking about working with Michael McKean and how he had him in with the cast that didn't really mesh. He said that Michael ended up being part of the collateral damage when he took apart the show.
Norm MacDonald said that McKean was the first to do an impression of Howard and it was so convincing that people thought Howard was really on the show.
They played a clip of Howard talking to Michael McKean on the phone. McKean told Howard he wrote the sketch and about 5 or 6 others tuned it to make it the cold opening of the show. Howard said he knew he was going to be doing it that week but he forgot to say something on the air about it. Howard said he had to thank Michael for not frying him in the sketch. He said he was able to show it to his parents. He said his father thought it was a really good one.
Howard said he can't believe how good Michael was. Michael said that in L.A. you can drive around talking back to your radio then you get pretty good at doing the impression. Howard said he even got his laugh and stutter down in the sketch.
Howard said he wasn't surprised that he wrote the sketch. Michael said that whole show was very good. Howard said he didn't see the whole thing. Robin said his costume was very good and he really looked like Howard. Howard said it was brilliant.
Howard asked why they cut out the Stuttering John stuff. Michael said that they had to shorten it for the cold opening. Howard said the Jackie plug was great but Jackie was upset that they had the wrong information.
Howard said he hopes that Michael gets some work out of that. He said he might have something he'd be interested in. Michael said the last week of the season was coming up and he's heading back to L.A. after that. Howard said he might need a stunt double for his movie since he looks so much like him. Howard said he really is good.
They played some of Bill's call to the show from February 2011 after that. Here's what I had in my archives:
Bill Murray Calls In. 02/22/11. 8:40am
Howard asked Bill if he's in therapy. Bill said he doesn't go now but he did have a about of depression. He said he had some complicated things going on and he had to figure it all out. Howard asked if he will ever get married again. Bill said that he isn't on eHarmony.com or anything. Howard asked how many times he's been married. Bill said it's been two times. Howard said he must have had a lot of chicks. Bill said that he's surprised that he ever went to work. Bill said it was a different time back then. Howard asked if he did a lot of drugs. Bill said he was never really into that. He said that it destroys your timing. He said he never got into cocaine or anything like that.
Howard asked Bill about his lounge singer character and if he's pissed that so many people rip him off. Bill said he's not upset about that. He said people do bits from movies and things like that and they like things that resonate in a moment.
Howard asked Bill if he had tons of famous women and if they're better than regular women. Bill said that the interesting thing about being famous is that women will speak to you. He said it's more interesting to talk to women when you can get them to talk. He said you don't have to be some kind of clever person to get them to speak to you. He said you don't have to play those games.
Howard said he's not an attractive man but women are willing to speak to him when he walks in a room because they feel safe in a sense. Bill said that it becomes apparent the older you get how important that really is.
Howard asked Bill to share the names of the women that he went through and what their sexual preferences were. bill said he was crazy about Sissy Spacek back in the day but she wasn't interested.
Howard asked Bill if he'll ever get into the studio up there. Bill said he's been doing the show for a long time. Howard said he has been doing it like 35 years. Howard said he's still on radio but they're on satellite now.
Howard asked Bill if he had many, many women. Bill said he had a couple of good ones. Howard asked if he had Sigorney Weaver. Bill said he did not. Howard asked if he likes getting older. Bill said it's not so bad. Howard said he hates it.
Howard asked Bill if he liked Andie McDowell in ''Groundhog Day.'' Bill said he likes her now but back then when he made Groundhog Day he hated waiting for her hair to get done. Howard asked how tough that was to deal with. Bill said there may have been more going on than that. He said he remembers one day he was eating cake in a scene and Andie forgot her lines and he kept eating cake in take after take. He said he sees the movie now and realizes how great it was though. Bill said that he didn't sleep with her. Howard asked if he had Gwyneth Paltrow. Bill said he didn't have her either. Bill said he doesn't even think about that. He said she was a wonderful girl though.
Howard said he heard that Bill will show up to people's parties randomly. He asked if that's true. Bill said he does bring something and people are okay with it when you do that. He said if you behave and are polite then they're okay with it.
Howard asked Bill if he has a girlfriend now. Bill said he doesn't. He said he isn't that hung up on it right now. Howard said he has to find out what's going on with him. He has to get him in the studio.
After that they played a clip of Howard interviewing Tina Fey in 2006. Here's what I wrote back then:
Actress Tina Fey Visits. 11/16/06. 9:05am
Howard asked Tina more about the job she got on the SNL news. She said she was very lucky there. Howard said he liked her in that position. He read some notes about Tina talking about what goes on back stage at SNL and how that seems to be more entertaining than the show is. She said that sometimes they get stuck with people who are just horrible. She said that Paris Hilton is a piece of shit and she was so hard to work with. She said she takes herself way to seriously. She said that she looks like a Tranny up close. She also said that she would leave wads of her hair all over the place.
Tina was talking about how awful Paris was to work with and how she would refuse to do certain bits. She said it sucks when someone like that comes in and doesn't want to work with them. Gary read that Tina and the crew had a bet where they wondered if she would ask anyone a personal question. She never did. Matthew McConaughey was another person that was tough to work with. Tina said he was a nice enough guy but he would walk around shirtless all the time. She said he doesn't smell great either.
Howard said Tina agreed to do Artie's movie ''Beer League'' and she did that as a favor to Frank Sebastiano who wrote the movie. She said she was 7 months pregnant at the time but agreed to do it. She said she got into some trouble for doing it because she wasn't in SAG. She had to join SAG and it cost her $1000 to do the movie. Artie offered to give her a thousand bucks right there if she wanted.
Howard asked Tina what they would do on SNL if a guest came in with a bunch of lame ideas that they just can't do. She said that the guy Adrian Brody did that and had a lot of ideas that were terrible. They just have to talk them out of doing that stuff or just don't do the bits. She said she thinks he got mad that they didn't take his ''great ideas'' and run with them.
After that we heard Jimmy Fallon talking about working with Nick Nolte on SNL and how they ended up replacing Nick with Eddie Murphy on the show that week and how they cut Nick's head out of the photos they took around the city that week.
They played an SNL bit featuring Tracy Morgan. Then they played a clip of Howard interviewing Tracy Morgan. Here's what I wrote back in 2006:
Comedian Tracy Morgan Visits. 11/01/06. 9:15am
Tracy was telling Artie that he had something for him to smell and offered up a finger. He said that was some butthole for him. He was also telling the guys he likes when chicks in porn get gagged and stuff like that. He said he likes when a chick gags and throws up on his dick. He said he will force a woman down on him and make her gag until she pukes. He said he's got a big dick with 9 inches. He was also talking to Howard about stinky pussy and how no guy will take it out even if it does stink.
Tracy got into some very detailed discussions about having sex and how you know it's good when you see that creamy discharge and your dick makes that fart sound when you put it in. He had Howard laughing at that stuff.
Howard asked Tracy if he would ever kiss a man on camera for comedy like Will Ferrell did. Tracy said that's the difference between him and Will, Will is fearless. Howard told Tracy that he was happy when he saw Tracy almost punch out Ashton Kutcher after he got Punk'd. Tracy said he took it for real when he saw his car being towed. He said his buddy was with him and he pulled out a box cutter out like he was going to kill someone. Tracy said he was glad it was the Punk'd show because only the A-list get on that show.
They went to break after that clip.
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Various Stuff. 9/23/02. 6:05am
After taking a break Howard talked about a book that he heard about by TV critic Tom Shales. Howard said he's been using it as a bathroom book and it's pretty good. He said that Shales interviews a lot of people from ''Saturday Night Live'' about working on the show. Howard said it's an easy read and there's no plot to follow. The book is called ''''Live From New York'': An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live as Told by its Stars, Writers and Guests.''
After that we heard an SNL bit with Chevy Chase. Then we heard Kevin Nealon talking about how much Chevy made him laugh. He said he was trying to emulate him when he did his Weekend Update segments. He said he knows Chevy was only on for one season but he made a huge impression on everyone. Kevin said that they only had like one out of 3 shows that were good in that first season but people only remember those seasons.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Chevy when he visited in 2008. Here's what I wrote back then:
Chevy Chase Visits. 09/18/08. 7:55am
Howard asked Chevy if he ever thought it would work out the way it did. Chevy said he didn't imagine it would. He said that he wanted to do some writing and he did a lot of that. Howard asked him how he got in the business. Chevy said that he played with a band that later went on to become Steely Dan. He was a drummer in the band.
Howard asked Chevy if he grew up in a rich family. Chevy said it was upper middle class and it was a long story. He said that his mother came from a rich family but her father left her nothing. He said that she grew up wealthy.
Howard asked Chevy if he liked his father. Chevy said he loved his father. He said that his father and mother divorced when he was 4. He got remarried and so did his mother. Howard asked if that was weird for him. Chevy said he never saw his mother sleeping with the guy she married, he did see her sleeping on him.
Howard asked Chevy about his step-father and he said that there was some abuse there and he actually stood up to him. Chevy said that he actually went up to him and blew him. That got Artie laughing. Chevy said that helped keep the heat off his mother. Howard said he was joking about that but there really was abuse going on there. Chevy said that the way he remembers it, it was a little abusive. Howard thought the blowing thing would be a great distraction. Chevy said he didn't want to get slapped around so he blew the guy.
Howard asked Chevy about the National Lampoon albums and how he got to be part of that. Chevy said that he had some people from the Lampoon come to him and ask him to be part of it. He was writing in New York and he was getting a reputation for being a good writer. He said he was writing for MAD Magazine and had a good reputation for that.
Howard asked Chevy if he was making good money doing that. Chevy said he was making Writer's guild type money so he was doing okay. He also wrote for Alan King. Chevy said they were trying to pull in some 18-20 year olds and they brought him in to write some stuff for that.
Howard said that MAD Magazine was the pinnacle of the time back then. He said that he has a cover of MAD magazine where he's on the cover and it's one of the only things he has hanging in his office. Chevy said that they were offering good money at MAD magazine. He said that's why he went there.
They played a Howard Stern Show clip where Howard interviewed Gail Matthius. Howard was doing a dating game with Gail as if she was a Valley Girl. She stayed in that character as Howard took calls from guys who wanted to go out on a date with her. Howard picked out a few guys for her to choose from.
After picking the guys out Howard asked Gail who she was going to pick to go out on the date with. Gail, still in her Valley Girl character, ended up picking the first guy who called in. Howard said he'd be going out for drinks with Gail.
That led into a clip of Howard taking a call for Rob Schneider who said that Jay Mohr called him a ''very interesting asshole. Here's what I wrote in 2009:
Rob Schneider Visits. 03/23/09. 8:40am
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Rob about working on SNL and about this book that Jay Mohr wrote. Rob said that he was described as a ''very interesting asshole'' in the book but he's okay with that. He said that he actually wrote the first bit for Jay to get on SNL so he's not sure why he'd call him an asshole though. Rob said that show can make you into an asshole though.
The caller told Howard that Rob once had a jewelers spectacle to look at jewels and he once used it to look at his Sushi and Jay talks about that in his book. Rob said that he did that as a joke that day but he never told Jay that it was a joke.
Howard asked Rob who the worst was to work with on SNL. Rob said that Debra Winger was pretty freaked out when she was on the show and she wondered how they talked her into doing it. Rob also said that Jeremy Irons was kind of a stiff. He said he was kind of miserable on the show too. Rob said that he was telling them what wasn't funny and what was funny and he was very arrogant.
Rob said that he liked the crazier people on the show. He said he liked when Steven Seagal was on the show even though Lorne Michaels has said that he thought he was the worst. Rob said that they had things to do with him when he was on.
Norm MacDonald said it was great working with Darrell Hammond. They played a clip of Hammond doing his Sean Connery impression. Norm said they had him do characters that they never thought he'd be able to do. He said Darrell would lock himself in a room and come out a few days later with an impression. He said he did Bob Costas once and he thinks that he's the best impressionist that has ever lived.
Jimmy Fallon talked about how Darrell would do the characters and it was amazing to him how he did them. He said it was too intense for him.
That led into a clip of Howard talking to Darrell Hammond in 2007. Here's what I wrote back then:
Darrell Hammond Visits. 06/25/07. 8:40am
Howard ran down a few of the impressions he does and asked Darrell what new impressions he's working on. He said he does an Imus impression and did a little bit of that for him. Howard thought it was pretty good but he was speaking too clearly and needed to muffle it a bit. Artie talked about doing impressions for MAD TV and how he had to study tapes of the people he was doing the whole week.
Howard asked Darrell how he does his thing. He said he has to learn the impressions before he does them, he can't just do them. He did a little bit of his Pee Wee Herman impression and said that there are a lot of people he can't do because they're just not his thing. Howard said that when he does his Jesse Jackson impression is great because the way he does it is very funny.
Artie tried doing a little bit of his Jesse Jackson but he can only do about a sentence before he loses it. That led into Darrell doing his Jackson impression and made Artie crack up a bit. Artie said that might be his favorite impression ever. Hammond could do that all day according to Howard so that's why he's so good.
Howard said that Darrell doesn't do a Bush impression and that's a hard one to do. Darrell said they have a guy over at SNL that does a good Bush.
Darrell told Howard about the many times he's broken his nose doing stupid things. He once had it broken by a baseball and then another time he fell when he was drunk and broke it on a door knob. Another time he fell down the stairs on his face. He was drunk those two times.
Grillo's Interview With Charles Grodin. 4/8/97. 8:25am
Steve Grillo recently got to The one person who actually stuck around for John's questions was Conan O'Brien. The funniest thing was that Conan was asking John questions and pissing John off. It was pretty funny. Here are some of John's questions for Conan:
After that clip they went to commercial break.
Gilbert Gottfried said he was on from 1980-1981. Gilbert said that people must be thinking that this is Jane Curtain talking.
They played a clip from an interview Howard did with Gilbert in 2006 after that. Here's what I wrote back then:
Gilbert Gottfried Visits. 09/27/06. 9:00am
Gilbert said he's not sure if he'll keep up on that blog because he doesn't even know what that is. Howard read part of one of his blogs where he talked about being on a flight with Stevie Wonder. Gilbert said he asked why Stevie needed a window seat and suggested that they put him back in coach because he wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
Howard said he saw that Gilbert was on a 10 must unsexy man list at number one. The list also included the following, from 10 to 1...
Howard asked Gilbert about this article that was written recently where Paul Reubens claims that he didn't get a job on Saturday Night Live because Gilbert got the job and they were both the same types of people. Gilbert worked on SNL but he says he hated working there. Everyone hated the show back then because it was after the original cast left. It was a disaster after that happened. Gilbert said that things didn't go very well and he couldn't wait to get off the show.
Gilbert was there when Piscopo, Eddie Murphy, Charlie Rocket, Denny Dillon, Gail Matthius and Gail Grisley were there. Gilbert didn't have a signature bit like some of the guys did. He said he was doing less and less on the show and actually played a dead body in one sketch. He would just show up and do whatever he had to. He never did his Dracula impression on that show so Howard was kind of surprised at that.
Howard asked Gilbert if he has any regrets in his career. Gilbert laughed and said 'everything.' Howard asked him why he doesn't go on one of these reality TV shows. Gilbert said he actually did one of them recently. He said he realized it was basically the end of his career. He said that he was offered The Surreal Life but he turned that down because it was too low even for him. He did the show with Traci Lords. It was a bunch of celebrities who spent the night in an abandoned insane asylum. They were all wearing ghost buster outfits and they were trying to scare them in there.
They played a clip of Howard talking to David Spade about Norm MacDonald and some of the other guys on SNL. Then they played an interview Howard did with David in 1998. Here's my rundown from that day:
David Spade Comes In. 1/28/98. 8:45am
David Spade came in to hang out and plug a few things today. David was one of Chris Farley's best friends and everyone was surprised that he didn't show up at the funeral. Howard was wondering about that also so he tried to find out why. David kind of avoided answering it directly a couple of times. He explained how he and Chris had pretty much gone their separate ways in the past couple of years. He hated to see Chris doing what he was doing to himself. David also said that he thinks Chris had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Chris did some strange things when they worked together. David said that Chris would have to touch the ground a certain number of times before doing a scene. David thinks that Chris drank heavily for attention. Howard had to take a break in the middle of the interview.
After the break they came back and Howard was saying how David talks about women when they're not on the air. David wasn't talking much about women before the break but during it he was saying how good looking the ''Ally McBeal'' chick is. After the break David still didn't want to talk about women much. Eventually he did get around to answering the question about why he wasn't at the funeral. He explained how his best friend died when he was 21 and it freaked him out. He thought that going to Chris' funeral would do the same thing so he didn't go. Howard asked him where he was when he heard about Chris' death. David was at work on the NBC sitcom ''Just Shoot Me''. He said he had to walk off the set when he heard. He cried for about 20 minutes. Howard chimed in with a ''AHAGGOT'' when he heard that. He had to lighten up the mood. David went back to work the next day. Before David left Howard had to meet his publicist Mariessa. She was really hot according to Gary and Howard. Here's what David was plugging today... He stars in ''Just Shoot Me'' on NBC Tuesday nights at 9:30, he's got a movie coming out February 20 called ''Senseless'' with Marlon Wayans and he'll be filming an HBO special in his home town of Phoenix AZ sometime soon.
Jim Belushi also talked about how great Julia was for a few seconds. Joe Piscopo also talked about Julia coming on the show and looking so cute. He said that they brought her in from Chicago with Brad Hall and some other new people. He said the only way to get on the air was to write for yourself but Julia came in and he felt guilty not helping her out to get her on more. He said it was really tough for those guys to get on the show.
That led into an interview Howard did with Julia on the phone in 2003. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus Calls In. 5/6/03. 8:20am
Gary had some more facts about Julia's family and how they do own a big company worth billions of dollars. Julia said that she doesn't live off of that money though. She said her father never just hands her a million bucks once in a while like Howard figured. She said she doesn't even have a trust fund.
Howard also read that Julia owns a house that's solar powered and drives an electric car. Howard and the guys found that to be pretty funny. Howard goofed on her about the solar power thing for a short time and said that he has a hot-air balloon outside to take him home. He also joked that he washes in his own urine. Since Julia is into the electric car thing, the guys figured she must hang out with Ed Begley Jr. She said she's met him but doesn't hang out with him.
Howard asked Julia what her sex life is like with Brad Hall now that they've been married for 16 years. She joked around with him about her sex life but didn't want to talk about stuff like that on national radio. Howard asked her if she screws camera men like Julia Roberts does. She didn't know that was the case with Julia and the guy she married not that long ago. Julia asked Howard how often he has sex. Gary told her he's the wrong one to ask. Howard said he and Beth had sex 1 to 2 times a day the whole time they were in Las Vegas. Howard said they didn't miss a day. Gary also pointed out that Howard and Beth were playing a game of ''Dirty Little Whore'' while they were out there. Howard said he was calling Beth his ''dirty little whore'' for a night.
Howard figures Julia is like a hippie with the solar power and stuff so he asked her if she uses hemp tampons and stuff like that. She went along with the joke and said she uses those and hemp toilet paper as well.
That led into a clip of Howard interviewing Will Ferrell in 2003. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Actor Will Ferrell Comes In. 11/13/03. 7:55am
Actor Will Ferrell came in after the commercial break. His latest movie ''Elf'' opened huge with a $32 million opening weekend. Howard said it's a pretty big deal for him. Howard apologized for keeping him waiting. He said he had a lot of commercials to do. He also noticed Will's wedding band and asked him when that happened. Will said he's been married for 3 years now. She's a Swedish woman who's an auctioneer. He said he met her in an acting class. Howard asked him if he ever got to get a lot of chicks when he was on Saturday Night Live. Will said it just never happened for him. He's the ''nice guy'' and women don't seem to want that. Will said he had to woo this woman and it took a while. He said he never banged any of the hosts of the show.
Howard asked Will who his celebrity friends are. He said he's still friends with people he went to high school with so he doesn't have that many celebrity friends. Howard got a hold of some pictures of Will's wife from WireImage.com and said she's pretty hot. Will said she's pregnant so her boobs are pregnancy boobs.
Howard talked to Will about the money he was making on Saturday Night Live. He said he was only making about $350,000 on that show. Howard brought up the movies he's done since then. Howard said that they're saying that ''Elf'' should do pretty well over the holidays. He figured that Will had to have made more that $3 million for that movie but Will said he didn't make that much. Howard said he's not getting the big bucks that they think he's getting. Now that he's got a hit movie though, he should be able to get some good money. Will and Howard discussed all of the people that are involved with Will's career.
Will told Howard about how his family responds to all of this stuff. Howard also thought that Will seemed a bit depressed but Will jokingly told him he has a quaaludes problem. Howard took some phone calls after that. A couple of people asked him about doing an ''Old School 2'' and stuff like that. Howard told Will to just be funny in all of the movies he does. He suggested not doing any dramas. One guy asked Will to please wake up because he's on the Howard Stern show.
Howard asked Will if he thought about what Woody Allen did when he was working for him. Will said when you are asked to do a Woody Allen movie, you just do it. Howard read some quotes from Will about Woody and he didn't seem so thrilled with the guy. Howard threw in a few more phone calls. Jeff the Drunk called in and asked Will how many inches he's packing. Will said that he's not packing all that much. Howard said he's impressed with how he's willing to get naked in his movies. He was talking about ''Old School'' and how funny it was when he was running down the street naked in that movie. Jeff also asked him if he's ever had a threesome. He said that he's never done that and he hasn't had that many women. He said he didn't lose his virginity until he was in college. Howard spent a couple more minutes with Will and then wrapped up the interview.
They played an interview with Jim from 2005 after that. Here's some of what I wrote that day:
Jim Breuer Comes In. 05/04/05. 9:15am
Gary came in and reminded Howard about something David Spade did on SNL where he cracked a joke about Eddie Murphy and had to apologize for it later. Jim was there at the time and remembered one of the interns coming in to tell David that Eddie Murphy had called 5 times looking for him. Then they found out that Eddie was going to come down to the studio to talk to David if he didn't get on the phone. Spade turned white and dialed up Eddie. Everyone pretended not to listen in but they did overhear him talking to Eddie and apologizing to him. Jim said that Spade had to take his beating from Eddie that day and Jim loved it.
Jim said he's doing a 2 hour show over there at SIRIUS so Artie wondered why they can't do that. Jim said that even 2 hours is a long time and he's only doing 4 days a week original. Jim told Howard that he's also appeared on the gay channel over there. Howard said they plan on doing a lot of shows with the gay channel. Jim went on there to explain why he uses the word ''faggot'' in the opening of his show. He said that he just uses it like a third grader would use it when another student misses the kickball.
Artie and Jim shared a couple of stories about Norm MacDonald. Artie said there was one time that Norm made some comments about Chris Kattan seeming kind of gay to him when he was interviewed. Jim told another story about Norm doing a Twilight Zone sketch and Norm didn't seem to be doing the Rod Serling character the right way so Chris Kattan would goof on him the whole time. Norm wouldn't ever say anything to Chris when he would go off on him. He ended up saving it for 10 seconds before they went live on the air and then lashed out at Chris telling Pam Anderson that Chris was gay and he has all of this rage saved up in him and that's why he keeps interrupting the sketch.
Jim and Artie did their AC/DC impressions for Howard after that. Both of them have a ton of energy. Jim would do a little bit and then Artie would come in and do his ''FI-AHHHHHH.'' Fred played some AC/DC and Jim's impression was so good that you couldn't tell when he was singing or when it was AC/DC. Howard was directing Artie and Jim to sing along with the song and it was pretty friggin intense. Artie said that Jim does a bunch of bands. Jim did some James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich from Metallica a little bit. Howard had Artie doing some Bruce Springsteen impressions after that. Jim also does an Ozzy impression but he ended up talking about how he didn't want Ozzy to do that MTV show because they made a fool out of him. Jim did a little Judas Priest impression after that.
Sarah Silverman said she loved Eddie on the show. She said that there was a guy who was a comedian and they hired him to be on SNL but they found out he couldn't read so they let him go and hired Eddie Murphy instead. they played a clip of Howard playing a Gary Garver interview with Eddie from 1999. Here's what I wrote back then:
Gary Garver Celebrity Interviews. 4/26/99. 7:50am
Eddie Murphy wasn't very talkative. Gary asked him ''Why don't you call Jackie Martling anymore?'' That was asked because Jackie claims that he and Eddie used to car pool together when Eddie was starting out.. Eddie just kept saying ''Who?'' until Gary threw in the ''Jackie the JokeMan'' part. Eddie wouldn't answer any more questions after that.
After that we heard Joe Piscopo talking about the advice he gave Eddie about doing dirty material. He said he's given Howard the same advice and said that they really don't need to go there with their stuff because they're so brilliant. They went to break after that.
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Howard said if Billy Crystal can get movie work then he should be able to get it after being on that show. The caller said that Howard was great on Letterman but she thinks that he should avoid using the word penis when he's on. Howard said the show becomes good when he goes on and he adds his energy to it.
After that clip they played an SNL segment with Al Franken and Tom Davis. Then we heard Norm MacDonald talking about how much he liked Franken and Davis. He said he liked their gentle kind of show they did within the show. We heard from Dave Attell about Franken and Davis very quickly as well.
They played an interview Howard did with Franken and Davis many years ago. Franken and Davis told Howard what it was like working on SNL. Howard asked who was there when they were there. They said they didn't get to hire anyone but Howard seemed to think they had something to do with it. They said they had Anthony Michael Hall and Jon Lovitz there. Howard said he doesn't like that Jon Lovitz guy.
Howard talked to the guys about some of the people they worked with at SNL and they brought up Lorraine Newman. Howard said he thought she was kind of sexy. He said he thinks that Jane Curtain is a pig. Franken kept threatening to walk out if he kept bad mouthing the people he worked with. He never did leave though.
Howard asked Al if he's ever had a homosexual experience. Al said he hasn't. At least in the past 8 years. Howard said he's never looked at a guy's butt and thought it was beautiful. Robin said he has too. Howard said maybe once.
They played a Stern Show clip where Robin was reading some news and Dennis Miller was sitting in. Dennis was joking about some of the stories Robin would read. Howard asked Dennis about why he didn't come up to him at the party he was at with him. Dennis said he didn't know who Howard was. He said he thought with that hair that he was the receptionist on ''Moonlighting.'' Howard said he's really become a dick these days.
Dennis told Howard about how great Dan Aykroyd is and how he had a party for them the other night. Dennis said that he's just a great guy. Howard said it sucks getting up at 4 in the morning. He said he wishes he had a job like they do on SNL doing a show once a week.
Howard asked Dennis what song he wanted to go out on. Dennis threw out a few suggestions. Howard picked one and ended the show.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Sarah on the show in 2011. Here's some of my rundown:
Sarah Silverman Visits. 03/10/11. 7:55am
Robin asked what Sarah smokes because Howard gets paranoid on it. Sarah said that she likes a hybrid of a couple of things. She said that a Indica and Sativa mix is what she likes. She said that some make her anxious but she likes the calm one better. Howard asked if she smokes before she makes love. She said she likes to do that but she doesn't have to.
Howard asked Sarah if she's a good girlfriend. She said she hopes she is. Howard asked how she is in bed. She said she talks dirty a little bit. She doesn't say pussy a lot but she said that she will talk about the penis. Howard asked if she says ''Fuck me hard Jimmy!'' Sarah said that's not fair to Molly. Howard asked if she's ever slipped with this new guy. Sarah said she hasn't and it's been like 2 years now.
Sarah said that she and Jimmy are still friends even though He said that He never would be if they ever broke up. Howard asked if she still emails him. She said she does and it's not like they're emotional friends or anything. She said that she's sure that Molly knows.
After that we heard Sarah Silverman talking about Howard's talent as an interviewer. She said when you see him you kind of relax and no matter how hard the question is he has this look in his eye that makes him vulnerable. She said you want to answer him because there's a kindness that doesn't really come through unless you're looking into his eyes from your own perspective. Sarah said she was on the show once and some friends thought he was mean to her but they didn't see his eyes.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Jimmy in 2002. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Comedian Jimmy Fallon Comes In. 9/10/02. 8:45am
Jimmy told Howard about how he got on Saturday Night Live and how it was his life long dream to do so. He used to do a lot of impressions as a kid and that's what got him on. He told Howard what he did for Lorne Michaels to get the gig. He did his Jerry Seinfeld impression for Howard and it really is amazing. Jimmy said he did that one and Gilbert Gottfried which was pretty amazing too. He also did Adam Sandler for Lorne Michaels and that got Lorne to laugh. Jimmy gave Howard a quick bit of his Adam Sandler and that was just as good as his other impressions. Jimmy said they made him wait two weeks before they told him he had the job on SNL.
Jimmy told Howard about working on SNL and how the process of coming up with the segments works. He said that the cast are allowed to come up with two skits a week but there are also other writers there to come up with other stuff.
Howard brought up the women that Jimmy is rumored to have been with. He mentioned Natalie Portman and Winona Ryder but Jimmy said he didn't sleep with either of them. He said he just did a commercial with Natalie for MTV and Winona was just a friend of his. Howard sort of backed off the chick banging thing since Jimmy didn't seem to want to talk about it.
Gary came in and wanted Howard to ask Jimmy about a story Mike Walker from the National Enquirer mentioned during a game. It turns out it was true that Jimmy got pissed off and argued with some woman and kicked her out of his car. Jimmy swore that it was just a joke and he wanted to embarrass her when she was getting out to get some coffee at a Starbucks Coffee shop. He said that the woman was shy and he was just goofing around. Howard thought that was pretty funny and compared it to Jim Florentine making a waiter grind fresh pepper on his meal at a restaurant for 8 minutes at a time.
Howard got back to the women he's heard Jimmy's been with and brought up Gina Gershon and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Jimmy told Howard that he didn't get either of them.
Howard said he heard that comedian Jeffrey Ross was up for the Weekend Update part on SNL and Jimmy nudged him out. Jimmy said that's kind of true but he didn't strong arm him out of the part or anything. He claims that Lorne Michaels asked him to do it but he demanded that he have a co-host.
Gary came in and brought up a few more women that they've heard he's been with. Kirsten Dunst was one but, once again, Jimmy said ''no'' about her too. Howard said that Jimmy must still be a virgin. Jimmy said he really hasn't dated any famous women. He does date, but they're not famous. Howard said he thinks he's covering up like Norm MacDonald used to do with Elle Mcpherson.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who said that Jimmy has dated Winona Ryder and it's obvious he doesn't want to talk about it. Howard said it's okay if he doesn't want to talk about it.
They played a clip of Howard playing a Stuttering John interview with Jon Lovitz. Jon asked him a bunch of questions and Jon stuck around but he thought that Howard was cutting him down. Howard said he wasn't cutting him down but he will now. He goofed on Jon about the bad movie he did with Dan Aykroyd. He said it was called ''My Stepmother is an Alien'' and it was really bad. They wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Next up they played an SNL bit with Norm MacDonald doing his Letterman impression. We heard from Sarah Silverman who said that when Norm got fired from SNL and went on Letterman it was the greatest.
They played a clip of Howard talking to Norm about being on SNL and who the worst guest host was. Norm said that Jason Patrick was kind of a pain in the ass. He later said he wasn't that bad.
Howard said that they fired the guitar player for the band on the show like it was going to make a difference. Howard asked Norm if he had any influence with that. Norm said he didn't. Howard said firing that guy would be like painting all of the rooms a different color and expecting that to make a difference.
After that we heard Jimmy Fallon talking about getting tickets to SNL and going in and seeing people like Norm and Chris Farley. He said Chris waved and he got all excited about that. He said that they did this sketch where they were daring each other to jump into a polar bear cage and each one of them would get eaten. He said the whole cast ended up getting fired after that show so they basically did get eaten by the polar bear.
They played a clip of Howard talking to Chris Rock in 2005. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Comedian Chris Rock Visits. 05/26/05. 7:30am
Howard talked to Chris about his move to satellite and how much freedom he'll have over there. He compared his job on radio to Chris having to do his act on NBC instead of on HBO. Chris said that he would be nowhere if he didn't have HBO. Ralph called in after that and complained about the remake of ''The Longest Yard.'' He doesn't think it's going to be that good but he hasn't seen the whole movie yet. Chris told him that he has to see the whole movie before commenting on it. He told everyone that they can call in on Monday to comment on it. Chris talked to Howard about how he's been arrested before. He said that being arrested is actually tougher than being in jail. He talked about the strip search and how they search every bit of your body. That led to Howard talking to Chris about being circumcised. Chris said that he is circumcised which surprised Howard. He said that a lot of people who grow up poor don't have that done. Chris told Howard about his first arrest and how he ran over a guy who he was just going to beat up. Chris said he ran him over and then tried to back over him. The guy had robbed him and that's why he wanted to get some revenge. Chris said he also hit a guy with a bat at one point in his life. He said that he almost killed the guy when he did that. Chris said he does have a bit of a temper. The guy he hit with the bat was a guy who was picking on his little brother. He said he didn't give the guy a chance to get him, he had the bat hidden in a long trench coat and pulled it out to hit the guy. Chris said that he did a night in jail for that and then he got out. Howard spent a couple more minutes with Chris before wrapping up and taking a break.
They played a clip of Howard talking to Victoria Jackson. In the clip Howard was willing to help get Victoria hooked up with a record company guy. She had her own song that she wanted out there.
Howard said he had a sketch he wanted to do with Victoria but they had to kiss. They just say ''I love you'' to each other and then just kiss. Victoria said she would do it if he called the record company guy. Howard said he'll do that all in good time. Victoria said ''I love you...'' and went over to kiss Howard for the bit. Howard said she was going for it. He said he was aroused from the kiss. Victoria giggled after the kiss.
Howard said that if she takes her top off he'll get her 3 record contracts. He asked if she's ever done that to a guy before. She said she's never kissed a disc jockey before. Howard said she kissed with an open mouth. Victoria said she wasn't. Howard said he was shaking inside. Howard asked if she thinks about adultery a lot. Victoria was laughing and giggling.
Howard said he has to hear Victoria's song before he calls Tommy Mottola. He asked what's going on with her today. Victoria said she just wants him to get her a record deal. Howard said she throws herself on the casting couch.
Howard played Victoria's song and said it was the best song he's ever heard. He asked if they could kiss again. Howard said she's a 1990s updated Annette Funicello or something. Howard said she's licking her lips and he thinks she likes this. He said she's better kiss him again so he can keep it going. Victoria went over and kissed him again. Howard said she opened her mouth this time. He told Fred to smell his finger. Howard told her to come over and sit on his lap while he plays the song.
Victoria kissed Howard again. Howard said she did it again. Robin said this record must make people commit adultery. Howard said that was her idea, not his. Victoria was just giggling and laughing. Howard asked if she wanted to commit adultery with him. She laughed. Howard asked if he could rub her thigh and grab her butt. She said yes. Howard asked if he could spank her too. She said ''Why not?''
Howard told Victoria to go sit down over there. She said this was all a joke. Howard said he thinks she digs him. He grabbed her ass after that. Robin said he's like William Kennedy Smith... allegedly. Howard said he didn't do anything, she's the aggressor.
Howard said he thinks that she really digs him. Victoria said she was afraid of Howard before she came in. Howard asked if she hates that Nora Dunn chick. Victoria said no but Howard said he doesn't believe that.
Victoria asked if he gets embarrassed when he says what he says. Howard asked what he says. She said she's not going to let her mother hear this. Howard asked if she was rubbing herself. She said she wasn't but Howard thought she was on fire like he was.
After that they played Howard's interview with Kevin from 2009. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Kevin Nealon Visits. 03/05/09. 7:45am
Howard asked Kevin if he's close to Adam Sandler. Kevin said that Adam is super loyal to his friends. He said that he's so loyal that he won't even buy any car other than an American made car.
Howard said he read that Kevin had attended Jennifer Aniston's 40th birthday party. Kevin said that they do some amazing research on that show. He said he was laying in bed wondering what they were going to find out about that he's done in his life.
Howard asked Kevin what went wrong with Jan Hooks. Kevin said that nothing went wrong, it just ran its course and that was it. He said that sometimes that just happens. Howard said that he read that Jan was dating Phil Hartman for a while. Kevin said that he didn't know that. He swore that he really didn't know that but he's happy for her if she did.
Howard said that Kevin is on ''Weeds'' now and it's a good job for him. Kevin said that it's a very good job for him. He said that he had left SNL to do a pilot for NBC and that didn't work out. Kevin said that he had enough of SNL back then after 9 years of being on. He said that he still talks to Lorne about once a year these days. Howard asked if he was upset that Lorne gave Jimmy Fallon the job replacing Conan. Kevin said that when Conan was taking over for Dave he thinks that Lorne may have asked him to do that show but he's not sure if that was the case or not. He thinks that he said no to him about it.
Howard said that it sounds like that job is a nightmare and Jimmy is working 12 hours a day on that show writing jokes and stuff.
After that we heard Kevin Nealon talking about how he started listening to Howard and how he got Sirius just for Howard. He said he likes hearing some of the reruns they play so he can hear how he's come into his own. He said things are more fluid now.
After that we heard an old interview Howard did with Don Pardo from SNL. Howard talked to Pardo about being the announcer on SNL. He got to work with all of the big guys there at SNL. Howard asked Don if he ever gets tired of that. Don said they have a great group on the show now. Howard said he spoke to Joe Piscopo but Eddie Murphy refuses to come on the show because he's too big of a star. Howard wrapped up with Don a short time later and thanked him for coming in.
They went to break after that.
After that they played an SNL clip with Colin Quinn doing a Weekend Update segment. After that we heard from David Spade talking about how funny Colin is and how close they are. He said that Colin is definitely smarter and funnier than he is though. He said he's super funny and cool and he misses hanging out.
We heard from Colin Quinn who said that Stuttering John asked him if he'd be willing to go on the Stern Show and he ended up getting on and telling some crazy stories and won an F-Emmy for that.
They played a Stern Show clip of Howard interviewing Colin Quinn in 2002. Here's what I wrote back then:
Colin Quinn Sits In For The News. 10/17/02. 9:45am
Comedian Colin Quinn came in to promote a couple of things this morning. He appears in Jerry Seinfeld's new movie ''Comedian'' which surprised Robin for some reason. Howard said he's heard that Colin is like one of the funniest comedians around and he just hasn't had that big break that everyone looks for. He was the anchor man on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update for a while but then it just went away for some reason. Colin said it was time for him to leave anyway.
Howard talked to Colin about his stand-up comedy career. Colin said when he gets introduced they say you know him from SNL but people now know that he's not on there.
Colin is friends with Stuttering John so they go out to lunch once in a while. Howard said Colin has a great story about a priest that he heard from Stuttering John. Colin said he wasn't all that young when it happened. He was in his early teens when this gay stuff happened. He said he was pretty experimental at that age. He said he and his friends would use their hands on each other. Robin wondered how that comes up between two guys. Howard said it almost happened to him when he was a kid but he didn't do anything. After hearing the bits and pieces of the story Howard said there's a sitcom in there somewhere. Colin said he wasn't innocent in the whole thing so he knew what was going on and that it was wrong. Stuttering John came in and said that Colin was being a little bit shy and that he actually pleasured a Priest one time. Colin said that's not quite true. He said the Priest may have touched his private parts and of course it felt good. Someone called in as Colin's priest but his impression was so bad that Howard just hung up on him. Colin said his accent sounded Russian or something.
Colin also had a story about being picked up by a transvestite one time. He got oral from that dude. He said his experimental sexual stuff was done by the time he was 15 or so.
Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to Colin and then took a break. Colin stuck around to hang out during Robin's news segment.
They played an interview clip with Jim from many years ago. In the clip Howard talked to Jim about working on SNL and how he got bumped from Letterman the last time he was booked. They talked about some of the other people Jim worked with on SNL.
After that they played some of Howard's interview with Darrell from 2006. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Comedian Darrell Hammond Visits. 03/30/06. 9:10am
After the break Howard said that Darrell Hammond was coming in and he's still working at Saturday Night Live. Darrell was looking a little thin to the guys and he said he had lost a few pounds. He said the weight fell off pretty fast and now he's thinking he's going to let himself get fat again.
Darrell said that he's been on SNL for 11 seasons now and he's not sure that's going to last much longer. He said he could stay longer but he's not sure he wants to. Howard asked him if he gets embarrassed after a while. Darrell said that it can be kind of embarrassing when reporters ask why he's never gotten another show.
Darrell said that he doesn't have to do all that much on the show, he just goes into work late in the week and they tell him what to do. He said he's making some great money doing the show too. Howard told him that if that's the case, he shouldn't give it up.
Howard was saying that some people get fired from the show like Norm MacDonald and even Adam Sandler. Artie said he's not sure Sandler got fired, but he was told that he wasn't going to return the next year. Darrell was telling Howard that since Hillary Clinton may be running for President next year, that would bring back his President Clinton impression every week.
Darrell also does an impression of Eddie Murphy but he doesn't think that he's still able to do it. He did a little bit of the impression for them but he used to do it back in his hacky days as a comedian. Will came in with a whole list of the impressions that Darrell does. Darrell told him that those are the things he used to do when he was drunk though.
Howard asked Darrell if he's got a satellite radio and if he's listened. Darrell said he had it put in his car but he hasn't listened to it yet. Howard gets the feeling that he's not into music and music doesn't really move him. Darrell said that Howard is really reading him today. Howard was told by Benjy that he saw Darrell hanging out side of a massage parlor that's known for giving happy endings. Darrell said that's not true though.
Howard went through the list of impressions that Darrell does. He asked him to do some of his Jay Leno since it's brilliant. He also does Jesse Jackson so Artie told him that's his favorite. Darrell did a little bit of that and had the guys laughing. Howard said he could listen to that impression every day.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Sarah in 2010. Here's some of what I wrote:
Sarah Silverman Visits. 04/21/10. 8:35am
Howard said when Sarah was on Saturday Night Live she had a tough time. She wrote a ton of sketches and they never used any. Sarah said that's because they were terrible and she just realized that recently. She said she kept them all these years and she saw how bad they were. Sarah said she was there for a year and it was like the greatest comedy boot camp working there. Sarah said she didn't feel bitter about it. Sarah said working there didn't define her so she's kind of happy about that.
Sarah said she was at SNL when people like Adam Sandler, Mike Myers and Michael McKean were there. She said she was there the year they did the sketch of Howard with Michael McKean playing him. Howard remembered that. He asked if they found her doing stand-up. Sarah said she didn't have an audition because she was hired as a writer. She said she had just one eyebrow at the time too.
Howard asked Sarah if anyone hit on her at SNL. Sarah said that no one really did. She said Adam kind of looked at her like a little sister. She said that Spade always tried to see her naked in the changing room. She said he's a friend now though. Howard said Sarah has put in her time and the money wasn't just handed to her. Sarah said that's true.
Sarah said that she was asked to write a book in the past but she didn't feel it was time yet. She said that she figured she had something in her this time.
Howard asked if she's doing book signings. Sarah said that she does and she has a very eclectic group that show up. She said that she has young girls, young guys, big fat smelly milky asshole type guys too. She said they don't do laundry and they don't wipe properly. Sarah said she has been with guys who have that asshole juice smell. Howard said that's his worst nightmare. He said he's no picnic back there so he showers.
That led into an interview clip where Howard was talking to Dave Attell in 2003. Here's some of what I wrote:
Comedian Dave Attell Sits In For The News. 5/28/03. 9:25am
Comedian Dave Attell came in to promote the new season of ''Insomniac with Dave Attell'' which airs at 10:00 pm Thursday nights on Comedy Central. Howard said tonight on E! they have Jim Carrey's interview from last week where he promoted ''Bruce Almighty.'' Howard had a new bit called ''Howard Almighty'' that he played before getting into it with Dave Attell. Dave said he was kind of upset he didn't get to see the girls topless when he was there. He said he was waiting out in the green room with Rudi's boyfriend while they were getting topless.
Howard mentioned that Dave also has a stand-up gig at The Funny Bone out in Columbus, Ohio tomorrow night. He also brought up how Dave's ex-girlfriend Sarah Silverman was on the show talking about him recently. Howard tried to get some dirt on her but Dave wasn't talking. He said he'd tell Howard how Sarah was in bed while talking in Klingon. Howard ended up playing tape of Sarah talking about Dave when she was on a few weeks ago. She told Howard how weird Dave was because he threw his cigarettes on the floor of his apartment. Dave said he still says hello to Sarah when he sees her even though she said they're not friends anymore. Dave told Howard that he sent her flowers when she did Letterman's show and he even sends her birthday cards and stuff. The guys asked Dave if he's afraid he won't get on the Jimmy Kimmel show if he says anything wrong. Dave said he's more afraid that he wouldn't be able to stop doing that show if he got on it. Dave also told Howard that Sarah helped introduce him to his two favorite things, alcohol and smoking. He didn't start smoking until he met her. He said that he was just starting out in comedy at the time and he was a mess back then. He said Sarah was out of his league and ended up leaving him. He said he really did have a thing for her and was sad to lose her. He and Howard spent some time talking about that. Dave said he thinks that Jimmy and Sarah will do well together and he's looking forward to a very special ''Crank Yankers'' with the two of them.
Howard took a call from a guy who wondered if Howard really finds Sarah that attractive. The caller said he finds her to have a ''monkey-ish'' face. Howard said he's heard that too but he thinks it's the whole package. She's attractive and funny and it works.
That led into an interview clip with Howard and David Spade. In the clip Howard and David talked about how he got on SNL. David said that he looked very young back then. He got on at the Improv and got into a Police Academy Movie and then an HBO special. He said that it was a Young Comedians special and Dennis Miller pushed him on it. He said that Dennis really helped him out with that. He said he did really bad in his audition and they put him on anyway. He said Dennis told him not to kill too hard or they'd think that something was up.
After that we heard Jim Breuer talking about how jealous he was of Spade when he was on Howard's show. He said he remembered hearing Norm MacDonald telling Howard about him and Howard didn't know who he was at the time. They ended SNL On Stern a short time later, right around 11:30am.
First up on SNL On Stern we heard Howard Stern talking about how strong the news segment is on SNL and how they have at least one sketch that makes him laugh on the show. He said they also have some great musical performances on the show. He said it's a true, hip and unique show in Americana. Howard said they always have great interviews with the stars of the show.
Next up they played an SNL clip featuring Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. After that we heard from Jim Belushi talking about how brilliant Tina is. He said she came from Second City to SNL and it's glorious to watch her and her writing. He said he loves watching it. Then we heard from Keenan Thompson about how Tina doesn't mess around. He said she's a man eater but she's super funny. He said they all respect the history of the show.
That led into an interview clip with Howard talking to Tina in 2006. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Actress Tina Fey Visits. 11/16/06. 9:05am
Howard came back from break and had Tina Fey come in. He said that she was one of the girls who got to be one of the hot girls on Saturday Night Live. He said they never really put her in good outfits though. Tina said she wasn't really a full cast member, she was a writer first and the news woman after that. She said that she used to be kind of heavy but lost about 20 pounds. She wasn't the hot chick in high school either.
Tina wrote the movie ''Mean Girls'' and wrote it from her point of view because that's what she was like. She said she didn't start having sex until she was 24 years old which surprised Howard. Robin read that she was a virgin right up until she met her husband.
Howard asked Tina if she had seen the Ex-Con girls that were just there. She said she missed them but she wanted to say hi to them. That led to the guys talking about some of the wacky stories they heard from those girls. Howard asked Tina where she grew up. She said it was outside of Philadelphia. She never had a boyfriend the whole time she was growing up but she did make out with some guys and got felt up. She said she would meet guys who were just a little bit Christian and wouldn't have sex with her. She said it wasn't great for her ego and the guys she was chasing were nerds too.
That led into a clip of Howard interviewing Rob Schneider in 2009. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Rob Schneider Visits. 03/23/09. 8:40am
Rob talked about some of the characters he did on SNL when he was there. Howard said he liked hearing how some of those characters were created. He said he liked hearing about how the Goat Boy character was created when Jim Breuer was on the show too.
Rob talked about how quickly they can get bits on that show. That was the great part of that show. Artie said that Norm MacDonald told him a story about this guy Football Williams, the guy who hit Reginald Denny in the L.A. Riots, where he was in the same area as SNL was shooting.
Artie said that Rob was in the bathroom with that Football Williams guy and Rob was upset that he was getting famous for hitting some guy in the head with a brick. Artie said he heard that Rob was so pissed off about the guy but then Football recognized him as the Copier Guy character he did and he had to do the character for him in the bathroom. Rob did it because the guy was a fan.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Jim Breuer in 2010. Here's some of what I wrote:
Jim Breuer Visits. 09/29/10. 8:20am
Howard said he likes that Jim details what went on at Saturday Night Live. Howard said that Lorne Michaels didn't give a shit about Jim and they weren't sure why they had even hired him. Howard said they weren't accepting any of his work there.
Jim said he later learned that he was almost like a political match. He said that it was the network that moved in and helped cast the show. He said they wanted him, not Lorne. Jim said that Loren was like ''Screw you man'' and didn't want him there. Howard said they did that to Robin once. They brought in someone to replace her.
Howard said when Jim was going through this he was walking in the halls one day and did his Joe Pesci impression for an intern. The Intern told him that he should do that for everyone and that's how he ended up doing the impression on the show. Jim said the intern was a stoner kid that was really funny. He said that the kid was the worst intern ever. He couldn't even take a message. The kid knew talent though. Jim said he did his Pesci for the kid and the kid goes ''Dude... you gotta do Pesci.'' He suggested they put him on Weekend Update with Norm. Jim did his Pesci impression and his Norm MacDonald impression as he told the story. Jim said that the intern came up with this whole idea. He said that he didn't pitch the idea in the writer's meeting though. He said it was this guy Steve who was a great writer.
Howard asked why Lorne didn't produce the movie then. Jim said he thinks that was his last year there or he didn't come back or something.
Howard asked Jim what happened with the Pesci character after that. Jim said that he was asked by Steve Corn to go into his office. Lorne Michaels was there so they had to pitch the bit to him. Jim said it wasn't even him pitching it. He said Steve told him how to sell it to Lorne. Jim said they had producers and writers there. Jim said he had been ignored for the longest time there. Jim said he felt like his dad had finally accepted him in that meeting. He said that Lorne actually burst out laughing when he did the voice. He said that he was staring at him like he was a new found jewel or like a woman that he was in love with. Howard said Lorne welcomed him into the club after that.
Howard said that Lorne started inviting him out to dinners out in the Hamptons. Jim said that was huge. He said that he was asked to go out there to dinner and he had finally been accepted. Howard asked if he knew he was having those parties. Jim said he had no idea. He said they would go to this place Orso and he'd see Whoopi Goldberg eating dinner there. He said he would freak out seeing people like that in there.
Howard asked if any of the cast were there. Jim said there were people there but guys like Norm MacDonald would never come. He said that Norm never wanted to be there at all. Jim said they had a press conference once and he was walking down the halls and saw Norm smoking a cigarette back stage. He said that Norm is like the guy who just blows off what the boss tells you to do. Jim said he wasn't paying attention while they were introducing him they mentioned that he grew up in New York and must have known the show. Jim then said that he had never watched Saturday Night Live and he could hear everyone take a deep breath and David Spade laughing at that. Jim said that they were all freaked out by that. He said that Warren Littlefield took the mic from him and said he must have liked the show when he was a teenager. Jim said he told them that he never watched the show even when he was a teen.
That led into an interview clip where Howard talked to Tracy in 2007. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Tracy Morgan Visits. 08/02/07. 7:25am
Tracy said he had to tell his son about the device and that wasn't cool. He said that one of his sons is 21 years old and his younger one is 16. Tracy is only 38 so he got started early having kids. He said that when he was young they didn't have anything better to do so they just started fucking. He said he's just about ready to kick his kids out of the house because they're cock blocking him at this point.
Howard asked Tracy about this story of him sexually harassing this woman at a radio station in Miami. Tracy said that was a misunderstanding that was taken care of. He said that there are some people who may not appreciate his shtick. He said you can't even look at people wrong on a train these days. Howard read that he was seen eating leaves in a park after the Miami radio station incident but Tracy said that was the Enquirer and that wasn't true.
Howard asked Tracy if he misses Saturday Night Live. Tracy said that he doesn't miss it all that much. Howard asked Tracy how many kids he has. He wondered if he wanted to know how many he's got on or off the books. Howard said off so Tracy said he's probably got about 20.
Howard asked Tracy when he's going back to work on ''30 Rock.'' Tracy said that's happening in a few weeks and the ankle bracelet will be off by then. He gets that off in about 10 days. Howard gave him a plug for his Caroline's comedy shows that he's doing this week. He's going to be there tonight through Sunday.
Howard read that Tracy had to go to schools and teach kids about drinking and driving. Tracy said he was into that and told the kids the way it was. He said he comes at them and tries to give them some encouragement. He was doing that before he got into trouble though. He said that was his way of giving back to the community. Robin said that when he screws up, the kids see that too and they must think that what he's telling them doesn't mean so much. Tracy said that he's going to do what he has to do.
That led into an interview with Howard and Harry from 2010. Here's some of what I wrote that day:
Harry Shearer Visits. 03/03/10. 8:30am
Howard said that Harry can be the turd in the punch bowl because he has so much talent. Howard said Harry was on Saturday Night Live and he hated it. He said they treated him horribly. Harry then went into the movie ''Spinal Tap'' and found out that he's the funniest guy. Howard said he went back and did SNL as a guest and had a great time. Harry said they had changed a few things in the meantime. He agreed to be a cast member again and he hated it again. They treated him really well as a guest but not as a regular.
Howard asked why it was so bad. Harry said that it was four words. ''Lorne Michaels Dick Ebersol.'' Harry said that they don't have any competition on any other channels. He said that NBC was lucky that they kept that slot open for SNL to stay there.
Harry said he was on SNL when they still had a lot of the original cast on the show. He said that they didn't have Belushi or Chevy Chase. Dan Aykroyd was gone by then too. Harry said that he was told by someone that Lorne had hired him to be a writer, not a cast member. Harry said he was told he was a cast member and a writer. Harry said that Lorne also told him that he doesn't usually hire a Jew to do that job on the show.
Then we heard from Joe Piscopo and how they just couldn't replace that first cast from SNL. He said that Dan never used prosthetics. He said he just did the character. Joe said that Chevy's one year was as brilliant as anything Ernie Kovacs ever did. Joe said the first 10 shows they did after that cast was gone was really rough.
They played a clip of Howard playing some Stuttering John interviews with Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase. Howard said John got right up to them at a Friar's Club roast and asked his questions. John said they ate a little bit and then got kicked out. He said they didn't get kicked out over the questions. They got kicked out because they weren't supposed to be there.
Howard played the clip of John asking Chevy some questions. John asked Chevy if he was familiar with Howard. Chevy said he is. John asked if Jane Curtain gave him a soft-on. Chevy said yes. Howard said he loves Chevy. Then John asked Dan Aykroyd some questions. Dan answered a couple of questions but he was being introduced on stage so he had to run off. Howard said he used to watch him on SNL and thought no one could be more talented than that. Then he saw some of his movies. They went to break after that.
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Howard played more of the audio and couldn't understand what she was talking about. Robin had to explain it to him. Howard said she's already in obscurity and she's going to stay there.
They played a Stern Show clip where Howard was talking to Chris Rock in 2004. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Chris Rock Comes In. 09/10/04. 8:05am
Howard brought up how Chris had to reschedule his appearance earlier in the week because he went to his daughter's first day of nursery school. Howard goofed on him a little bit about that. Chris told Howard that he knew that his wife would be mad at him for a year if he didn't go so it was a preemptive strike. Robin said it seems that he's been trained well and he doesn't even have to be asked to do stuff like that.
Chris told Howard about going to a hotel in Los Angeles one time. He had this woman come up to him and tell him what a fan she was of his. He ended up having wild sex with her and then later heard back from her that she was pregnant. It turns out that she had this crazy Nigerian boyfriend who was making her do this with a lot of black celebrities and they were making them pay them for the kid. Chris was married at the time so he had to tell his wife about what went on but eventually found out that the kid wasn't his. He said that was a long time ago and he and his wife are okay now.
Chris said that this girl had amazing sex with him and he was even amazed at how well he was able to perform with her. Howard wondered if he thought about how he was cheating on his wife while he was having sex with her. Chris said Howard has to know what that's like but Howard claims that he never cheated on his wife. Chris seemed to think that Howard just never got caught and he was rubbing it in his face.
Chris told Howard that this chick that scammed him cost him a lot of money because he had to pay until he found out that it wasn't his kid. He wouldn't say how much it cost him though. Howard changed subjects and asked Chris why he lives right next door to Eddie Murphy. Chris doesn't live right next door, he lives in the same area but he didn't do it on purpose. He said he thinks that Martin Lawrence lives right next to him. Howard asked if Chris' wife ever asks him why they don't have a private plane like Eddie does. Chris said that hasn't come up yet.
They played a Stern Show interview clip from 1997 with Jim and Howard. Here's what I wrote back then:
Jim Belushi Comes In. 10/9/97. 8:20am
Actor Jim Belushi came in to plug his new movie ''Gang Related''. He stars in it with the late Tupac Shakur. Howard spent most of the interview playing tape of a phony phone call that Gary made to Jim. It was like the call to Tom Arnold from a couple of weeks ago where Gary would ask the guy if he could come up with some outrageous story to tell on the air. He'd ask them to say ridiculous things and they'd refuse. Gary asked Jim to say things about people like Dan Aykroyd and Princess Diana. Of course Jim didn't agree to say anything because he didn't want to burn any bridges. Jim had to be rushed out of the studio because he had other shows to do.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Norm in 1996 after that. Here's what I wrote back then:
Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) comes in again. 9/26/96.
'Bob' started off by tripping into the studio this morning, falling on the floor and staying there for a few seconds. Howard did his thing with 'Bob' and it was pretty damn funny. 'Bob' talked about not hating ''the homo's and queers'' ''Freedom for all homo's'' said 'Bob'. He also said if you're going to take an AIDS test ''...don't cram for it the night before!''. Once 'Bob' was done he became Norm. Norm said that he really hurt his arm when he tripped and fell into the studio. He's supposed to do another fall on Saturday Night Live this week and he's a little reluctant to do it. Norm is more entertaining as himself than as Dole when he comes in. Norm told a story about going to the bathroom at NBC one time. He says that he went to take a dump and just started thinking about a good looking woman. He said that he got aroused and had to finish himself off there in the bathroom. Well after he was done he was walking down the hall when he remembered that he didn't wipe! Wow ... what a story. Howard said that when Norm came in and read the Bob Dole script while off the air he wanted all the dooty jokes taken out. But when it comes to talking about his own life he feels free to talk about taking a dump and forgetting to wipe! What a nut. He also told stories about going to school with retards and how his father made him be friends with one in his class. Norm's father was his teacher for one year and Norm had to call him Mr. MacDonald. When some woman called in and said that Norm is dating Elle McPherson he denied it once again. Last time he was in Howard asked him the same thing. Watch Norm do his Weekend Update thing this Saturday at 11:30pm EST on NBC.
We heard from Kevin Nealon who said that he was there for 9 seasons and he's not sure when people even came and left. He said people like Ben Stiller would come in and leave. He said maybe that situation wasn't the right fit for him but he's very funny and talented.
Joe Piscopo said that if you're not in the rhythm of SNL then you don't fit in. He talked about how you have to hook on to something and stick with it.
That led into a clip of Howard interviewing Ben Stiller in 2004. Here's what I wrote back then:
Ben Stiller Calls In. 06/15/04. 9:00am
Ben and Howard talked about love scenes in the movies and whether or not they get aroused. Howard said he loves doing stuff like that but Ben finds it to be very uncomfortable. Howard talked about the love scenes he did with Mary McCormack in his movie and how he tried to make it as good for her as possible. Howard said he had a boner the whole time he was doing the sex scenes with Mary. Ben said the sex he was supposed to be having on film was comedic sex. Howard said his was as well. He would even try to kiss her in scenes where they weren't supposed to kiss. Howard said he would explain it to her as being the way he is at home.
Howard read that Ben worked for Saturday Night Live for 5 weeks at one point in his career. They talked about that for a short time and then moved on to Ben's list of chicks he's dated. Howard said that Ben dated Amanda Peet who annoys the crap out of him. He also said that Calista Flockhart was on that list.
Howard asked Ben about the ''Dodgeball'' movie and how that came about. Ben told him about this guy who was a first time writer who came to him with the script. They did it with a small budget of $20 million. Ben said that it's tough to make a movie these days because they end up costing like $100 million before you even get started. When you can do it for $20 million, you have a chance of making some money.
That led into an interview clip with Howard and Darrell from 2005. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Artie told Howard that he had a gig about 5 years ago where he did a corporate event and they had to turn the microphone off because he had gotten so dirty. The resort that they were at must have cut him off because families could hear him doing his dirty material. Howard asked Darrell if people ask him to do his impressions when he does comedy shows. Darrell said he'll try to do a regular comedy gig but people will yell at him to do his Clinton impression. Howard wondered if he's like some impressionists who turn around and then come back as the character. He claims that doesn't do that kind of stuff.
Howard had some audio clips from a benefit concert that was held over the weekend. He played a Garth Brooks clip that he thought was actually pretty good. He said it sounded better on TV than it did on the tape he was playing. Howard didn't see the Foo Fighters but someone told him they were good. He played that audio clip and they were performing another Credence Clearwater Revival song. Howard didn't realize what the lyrics were about until Robin pointed it out to him. Then Howard was going to play the clip of Laura Bush screwing up the name of the hurricane by saying Korina instead of Katrina. He had to ask Gary to go find it for him since he wasn't able to find it himself. He played it for Darrell and wondered how someone like that could be so out of it that she doesn't know the name of the hurricane that had destroyed New Orleans. He also played some audio of the Dahli Lama giving a speech and really not being all that profound. Darrell said he's kind of like Jesse Jackson and did his impression of Jackson for a short time and had Howard cracking up.
Steve Grillo told Howard that Jon also gave him some love about his movie. Howard goofed on Grillo for a short time about the way he said Lovitz. He played more of the interview after that. Lovitz said he thought Howard was great in his movie. John had a few more questions he threw out there before Lovitz called Howard gay and a ''fag'' as he was running off.
Dave Attell also talked about Chevy and how they were both at SNL the same amount of time but Chevy is much better known than he is. Dave said he thinks that Chevy is still a comedic actor type even though he didn't like those Vacation movies he did.
That led into a clip where Chevy called into the show to wish Howard a happy birthday on January 12, 1993. Chevy called in and said that they were paying him to call in. Howard said he thinks that Chevy likes them now. Chevy said he didn't have a feud with Howard and he never listens to the show. He swore that he never did but Howard didn't believe it. Howard said he wasn't even sure why he was mad at Chevy. Robin reminded him of the Larry King show thing. They talked about that call and Chevy kept wondering who this woman was that kept interrupting. It was Robin. Howard wondered how Chevy didn't know who Robin was because he knows he listens. Chevy said he didn't but then he said he did know of him through Belzer. Chevy said he just wanted to let all of that go. Howard tired to move on and talk about other stuff. Chevy talked about hanging out with Steve Martin and other people. Chevy ended up hanging up a short time later, right in the middle of the conversation.
That led into a Stern Show clip where Howard was talking to Jimmy in 2011. Here's some of what I wrote:
Jimmy Fallon Visits. 05/24/11. 8:05am
Howard said Jimmy became a big break out star but he doesn't think that they tapped into half of his impressions. Jimmy said they did but he only did them once. Howard said he sees that ''What Up With that'' bit on the show every week. Jimmy said he did impressions just once and he would say no if they asked him to do them more than once. Jimmy said he was an idiot for doing that. Howard said he could watch Jim Breuer do that Pesci impression every hour. He loved that. Howard said they could have done the Adam Sandler show every week. Jimmy said he just did everything once.
Howard said he knows Jimmy does Neil Young and he wrote him a note about that. He asked what he does when he does Bowie. Jimmy said he hasn't done that on his show yet because he's waiting for him to come out with his book.
Howard asked if Bruce Springsteen did his show for a week because of the impression. Jimmy said it was just one show but he did the whole show. Jimmy said he did an impression of him on the Emmys and that led to them getting Bruce to do his show. He said they came up with the idea to do ''Whip Your Hair Back and Forth'' as Neil Young. He said they had Bruce come in and do the song with ''Neil.'' Jimmy played some of that and did his impression of Neil and Bruce.
Jimmy said they even had Bruce dress like he was in the 70s. He said that he brought his sunglasses from the Born to Run tour. Jimmy said Bruce asked for a floppy hat too. He said he was in the make up room and asked if he wanted to wear a wig too. He said Bruce didn't want to do that. Jimmy told him to just try the wig on when no one else was in the dressing room. Jimmy said Bruce loved the look with the wig and the hat on. He said Bruce went out in the hall and saw his manager and the manager almost started crying when he saw him. He said he was dressed like he did 30 years ago. Jimmy said it was a weird moment.
Howard said he would be nervous putting a wig on the guy. He said he must be used to doing that kind of stuff after doing SNL. Jimmy said he did a show where he wanted James Brown to come out and end the show. He said he asked for it and they went out and got him to do it. He said they told him to call him Mr. James Brown and all of that. He said that he called him that and James told him ''Call me James...'' He said even he was embarrassed by it.
Howard said Lorne Michaels is an incredible guy. He said that Lorne said he would only executive produces the show that Conan left if they let Jimmy host it. He said the guy really put his balls on the line for him. He said he's become his closest ally. Jimmy said the guy has seen it all a thousand times. He said he has great advice for the show and he doesn't have to take it but he will take 99.9 percent of the advice. Jimmy said that Lorne told him that he should host award shows with other people. He said he wanted to do it alone and he told Lorne that. He said Lorne is willing to admit when he's wrong too.
Jimmy said that they have cut jokes that Lorne didn't like. Howard said he saw Lorne out in California and he told him he's a genius. Howard said he keeps finding these people and reinventing that show. He said that he saw Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids and she's great. Jimmy said the guy is very smart and he will mould people. He said that he'll even tell you to not wear so many prosthetics on your face so people know who it is.
Jimmy said that they used to make each other laugh on the show and they don't like that. He said they got really comfortable with each other though so it was good. Howard said that the Carol Burnett show was like that and it became the thing you don't do. He said they got mad at Frank Zappa for cracking up once. He said it must have been okay by the time Jimmy was on the show. Jimmy said he's sure that it happened before he did it.
Howard asked Jimmy when he gets to work. Jimmy said he works from about 10 in the morning until 10 at night or later. He said the show takes up a lot of his time. He said that he thinks eventually he'll be able to cut back. He said he wants to be like Regis and go in at 9:45 and leave by 11:05. Jimmy said he wants to get the show off the ground and cruise at a nice altitude and then cut back.
Howard said Craig Ferguson is up against Jimmy but it's a neck and neck kind of thing. Jimmy said they switch it off and they'll take 3 days a week and Craig will take 3 days a week. Howard asked if he's perplexed when he doesn't beat him in the ratings. Jimmy said he tries to do whatever he can to get people to tune in. He said he's not sure how the ratings work but it might be people just falling asleep. He said that they just leave the channel on and they fall asleep.
Howard asked Jimmy if he's a good guitar player. He said he's really not. He knows like 4 chords and that's it. Howard said he saw him singing with Justin Timberlake and they were great. He said they were singing a Bee Gees song. Howard asked if anyone else does a Barry Gibb impression other than Jimmy. Jimmy said he and his buddy never got invited to parties in high school. He said he had friends but he wasn't popular. Howard said he figured he would have been popular. Jimmy said he didn't get laid a lot in school.
Jimmy said he had one friend and his parents would let them drink in the house. They would get drunk and listen to the Bee Gees. He said they would sit around singing and he remembers his sister coming and telling him what a nerd he was. Jimmy did some of the impressions of the Bee Gees. He said he and his announcer wrote some bits with Barry Gibb where he gets really angry even though the guy isn't known for that. He said they would do that and the whole sketch doesn't make sense. He said they're dressed like they're in the 70s but they're talking to people in today's world about politics.
Jimmy said he did Howard's show when he started getting famous and he went to Yankee Stadium with Lorne. He said that the crowd there started changing his name and doing that clap thing. He said that Lorne told him that he must have been busy that summer.
After that we heard Jimmy talking about Howard's interviewing and how fantastic it is. He said Howard is very smart and you know that if you're a superfan of Howard's. He said that some people just don't get it. He said Howard knows exactly what he's doing and it's very well done. He said it's brilliant and it's like a television show in your head. Jimmy said Howard knows what he's doing when he takes a call from someone who is bashing the guest. He just wants to see the guest's reaction.
That led into an interview Howard did with Robert Downey Jr. in 2005. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Robert Downey Jr. Visits. 11/11/05. 8:00am
Howard told Robert that he always stays within the law the best he can because he doesn't think he'd last a day in jail. Robert said you don't have to do anything wrong to go to jail though and people can set you up. Howard asked Robert how bad it was in jail and if it was his worst nightmare ever. Robert said it was pretty tough but they kept him away from the really hard core prisons. Howard asked him if he had to fight anyone while he was there. Robert said he did and he actually won. Howard begged not to be sent to prison... ever, when he heard that.
Robert tried to get Howard to talk about the movie he was there to promote. Howard said he was fascinated by the whole jail thing though and told him he'd get to the movie later. He asked him more about the jail time and the fight he had. Robert said that he had to fight a guy for phone time and the guy was about his size but he had done maybe 3 million push-ups. Howard promised Robert that he would get to his movie but he thought this stuff was fascinating. Robert told Howard how he had to go in and just start fighting without giving him warning. He said that he initiated the fight himself and had to do that to get his phone time. Robert said there were guys there who told him he had to take care of the guy who had dissed him or they wouldn't respect him and they'd beat the crap out of him instead.
Robert told Howard that he was in jail for 16 months. Artie said he was in L.A. County Jail for 5 days when he was arrested. He said he was ready to get out of there after the 5 days. Robert said that 5 days in there is pretty tough. He kind of goofed on Artie about how he was locked down for almost 120 hours. Howard asked Robert if he was embarrassed to let other guys see his wiener. Robert said that wasn't really on his mind at the time. Howard wondered if he was able to read books and stuff while he was in there. He said his time could be used pretty well for stuff like that but he wouldn't wish it upon his worst enemy. Howard told Robert that their friend Cabbie was in prison and has 9 more months left in there.
Gilbert Gottfried also talked about Joe and how he turned into Charles Atlas and it was one of the strangest things he's ever seen.
That led into an interview clip where Howard talked to Joe back in 1986. Howard and Joe were talking about SNL and working with Eddie Murphy. Howard said Eddie is a dick but Joe didn't agree with him about that.
Howard told a story about going back stage at a comedy show and he saw Eddie Murphy there. Howard said someone had to tell Eddie who he was. Howard said Eddie said he didn't recognize him. Howard said Eddie passed him off to his mother and he ended up talking to the old bat for like an hour. Howard said his aunt and uncle came over too.
After that we heard Joe Piscopo talking about how their cast was kind of stuck in the back of the room at parties. He said that Lorne seemed to think that they almost ruined his show. Joe said he really respects the guy and he is always appreciative of what he did for him.
That led into a clip of Howard interviewing Tracy in 2010. Here's what I wrote back then:
Tracy Morgan Visits. 07/22/10. 8:20am
Howard asked Tracy about the 30 Rock show and how brilliant he is on it. He said that has really done it for him. He said that he must love Tina Fey. Tracy said that she would put him in stuff on Saturday Night Live when they were on there. He said she always helped him out. Tracy said Tina knew he was smart and she believed in him. He said that Lorne Michaels also believed in him.
Howard asked how he got on SNL. Tracy said they came to the Comic Strip and saw him. He said that's where they got Chris Rock and Eddie Murphy from too. Tracy mentioned Jim Breuer during that discussion so Howard said that he really does a great impression of him. Tracy said that Jim was loved by the black people when they'd go out to clubs. He said that Jim just does things his way and that's the way to do it. He said Jim doesn't conform.
Howard asked Tracy if he's heard Jim do his voice. Tracy said he hasn't so Howard had a clip from the special he taped recently. In the clip Jim was introducing Tracy talking about how great he is. He then broke into his impression of Tracy. Tracy said he sounds just like him. He did an impression of Jim doing the impression of him.
Howard asked Tracy more about how he got on SNL. Tracy said he got an audition thanks to Barry Katz. He said Barry told them they had to see him because he was so funny. Tracy said that he had 3 kids and a wife on welfare at the time. Tracy said he had nothing to lose back then. Howard said he has something to lose now.
That led into a show clip where Howard was playing some Gary Garver interviews and played one with Damon Wayans. Here's what I wrote back in October 1997.
Celebrity Interviews From California. 10/23/97. 8:45am
Some guy out in California by the name of Gary went out and got a few interviews for Howard. He interviewed Bill Maher, Damon Wayans and Brian of the Mark and Brian radio show.
Next up was Damon Wayans:
They went to break after that.
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That led into a show clip where Howard interviewed Rob Schneider in 2002. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Rob Schneider Comes In. 12/11/02. 7:50am
Howard spent a little more time talking about Rob's days on Saturday Night Live and how he didn't like it all that much. He talked about how they didn't always put on the funniest stuff each week. He said if Mike Meyers had a movie out they'd put him in a skit that might not be that funny.
Howard read about one incident where Rob quit a movie because he was dropped on his head. Rob told Howard what happened and how the movie was made a few years later and it went straight to video. He said the director made another actor tackle him really hard and it screwed up his back. He ended up going to the doctor and quit the movie. He said they threatened to sue him over it but nothing ever happened. Howard spent a few more minutes with Rob and then wrapped up the interview.
After that we heard from Rob about how scary it was to go on the Stern Show the first time. He said that Howard was never a supporter of Adam's and he never really got why he became a monster. Rob said he's asked Adam to come on the show and he came close but he didn't want to put himself through that. He said some guys are better off maintaining that air of mystery too. He thinks if Howard liked Adam it may have changed things.
Then we heard from David Spade who said that Howard has kind of given up and realized that Adam is going to be a big star no matter what. He said that's good and now he can tell Adam when he goes on the stern Show. He said he doesn't think Adam wanted to hear that in the past.
That led into a clip when Howard interviewed Bill Murray in 2011. Here's what I wrote back then:
Bill Murray Calls In. 02/22/11. 8:40am
Howard said he heard that Ghostbusters was written for John Belushi. He said he heard that Bill was offered the part of Han Solo in Star Wars too. Bill didn't remember reading that. He said that he has heard that story though. Bill said that he heard they wanted him to play Batman too.
Howard asked Bill if he thinks he's a genius. Bill said no. He said that he's pretty good at what he does but he's just as good as anyone in his neighborhood. Howard asked Bill about doing improv and if he likes that or acting in movies. Bill said he likes acting in movies. Bill said that he had some great fun doing Saturday Night Live. He said that Second City was another great experience. He said he had great teachers and a great education. Bill said you can do just about anything after doing SNL.
Howard asked Bill about working on SNL and if he likes Lorne Michaels. Bill said it was tough working there because no one wanted to work with him and he had some tough times. He said that Lorne is a unique guy and he's able to keep the people together over there. He said that he has managed to keep good people on the show. He said it's a tough building to keep that many good people in the room.
Howard asked if he still watches the show. Bill said that he did the show for so long that he doesn't watch it that much. He does watch it once in a while. Bill said that his friend will send him some of the best sketches. Howard asked if he sends over the bad ones. Bill laughed and said his buddy doesn't do that. He said this guy has been on the show since the same week he started on the show.
Howard asked Bill about the repackaging of the old SNL shows and if he gets paid for any of that. Bill said he got a check for 1 cent once. He said he hopes that they're paying the people who should be getting paid. He said they are making money off of those things and he hopes that they're paying the people who deserve it. Howard said he sounds like he's saying it sarcastically. Bill said that Lorne does help people when they need help.
That led into a show clip where Howard was talking to Sarah in 2011. Here's some of what I wrote:
Sarah Silverman Visits. 03/10/11. 7:55am
Howard said He saw Sarah on an old episode of Saturday Night Live. He said she's got a great stand-up routine and she's so good at what she does. He said that she didn't get to do anything on Saturday Night Live. He asked if that haunts her. She said it doesn't. She said she never got a sketch she wrote on the air. She said she would submit sketches and they never made it. She said she read them all recently and they really were terrible. Sarah was a featured performer on the show but she didn't get to do her own stuff. Sarah said she didn't even know who she was comedically back then. She said she's surprised she even got on the show.
Howard said Gilbert Gottfried was on the show too and He wouldn't do his impressions or anything on the show. He said He didn't do anything to propel himself into the spotlight. He asked Sarah if she has any regrets about her years on there. Sarah said she was only on for a year and she was very young. She said she was like 21. Howard said that was some break to get. She said she had one eyebrow back then and had a weird way of speaking.
Howard asked how she got the job. Sarah said they came to see her do stand-up and they asked her to come to a meeting. She said that they may have been looking for girls to work on the show. She said it did get her a job and she did add a lot writing wise. Will came in and handed Howard a note and Sarah asked ''What's that!?'' like she was afraid of what it was. It was just her plug.
After that we heard Sarah talking about working on SNL and how it was a boy's club over there. She said that she doesn't know how to compare it to being a man since she's a woman. Sarah said Tina Fey did become the head writer over there so it's kind of a moot point now.
They played a Stern Show interview segment with Howard and Jim Breuer from 2010 after that. Here's some of what I wrote:
Jim Breuer Visits. 06/07/10. 8:40am
Jim told Howard about the time he went into work for one of the last days. He said he knew he was going to get fired that day. Jim said he and Tracy were going to do this bit. The new Godzilla movie was out around that time and they were thinking about doing a Godzilla thing. He said they had some premises about the old movies. He said Matthew Broderick wanted to do this bit with them. Jim said they went to the read through and they crushed the room. Jim said that the room was howling and everyone loved it. He said they were acting out the whole Godzilla movie. They were competing against the head writer's bit. Jim said it was kind of funny in the first couple of minutes. He said their bit didn't get picked. He said he had an idea that maybe Lorne Michaels isn't involved.
Jim said that he was asked why the bit didn't get picked up. He said this was one of the producers asking him about it. Jim said that they were asked to come in and do the sketch for some more people. Jim said that they were camera blocking and they did it for like 30 seconds. Jim said they were just appeasing someone. He said they didn't care about the sketch. Jim said that it was the day of the show and someone asked where their sketch was. Jim said that they kept asking for it and he's just a cast member. He said they were like 5 hours before the show and two of the head writers came to them and told them to get their stuff together. They said that Lorne wanted to see the sketch. He said the head writer was up there and he was like a 5 year old child. Matthew Broderick was in there and he was asking about the other sketch. He said that Lorne asked to see their sketch.
Jim said that he and Tracy went up and did their thing. He said people were howling and Matthew Broderick loved the sketch. He said the camera guys even asked if there was a problem figuring out which bit was going to work. Jim said they finished about a half hour before dress rehearsal. Jim said they were doing whatever they could to keep the sketch off. Jim said 10 minutes before that they told them to do the bit. Jim said they crushed the place. Jim said about a half hour before the live show they were told that they had filmed the dress show so they were going to go with the other one in the live show. They said that they were never going to be able to get Tracy in make up.
Jim said he lost it and told the guys that they were full of it. Jim said that his wife was there and saw this go down. Jim said he demanded to talk to Tracy and to Lorne Michaels. Jim said that they were going nuts over this whole thing. He said he had enough at that point. Jim said he told Tracy about it and demanded that they go to Lorne about it right then. He said they changed it and did the bit live. He said that summer he got a call from an exec there who said the head writer was insisting that he be fired. Jim said that's how he found out that he was done there. He said it was baffling to him that they wanted him out of there so bad.
Howard said you'd think that they'd want to keep someone there who was so passionate about the show. Jim said he got a call from Lorne who told him he was too nice for the business. He said that Lorne told him to try going to dinner with Adam, the writer, so he agreed to do it. Jim said he called the co-demon, who told him that they were trying to fire Kattan. Jim said that if Adam was going to stay then he had to leave. He said that they let him go after that. Lorne told him that if he ever needed a producer, he was his guy. He said that was nice but it was a weird experience.
They played a clip from Howard's E! Interview show where he talked to Phil about his impressions and accents. Phil did some of his accents for Howard. Howard threw them out one by one and Phil would quickly go right into the voice.
Howard asked Phil about Pee Wee Herman being caught masturbating in a movie theater. Phil said he was shocked it wasn't in a McDonald's or something. Howard said he thought he deserved a prison sentence over it. Phil said it was devious behavior. Howard asked Phil if he ever talked to Pee Wee about it. Phil said he never did but he stays in touch with him.
Phil said that he did the Costas show and spoke about him and Paul called him kind of upset about what he said. He said that he actually created a character for Pee Wee's stage show and when Pee Wee went to TV he didn't bring the cast with him. He said he still remains a great admirer of his though. Phil said Paul called him and said he just wanted to acknowledge his success. Howard said he should have acknowledged with some cash. Phil said he knows that he'll be upset with him for bringing it up on this show too.
Joe Piscopo also talked about what a great guy Gilbert is. He said that it's a shame that he has such psychological problems. Joe said he and Gilbert used to improv some sketches together and it was great. He said he would drive him to the subway and they'd laugh for hours together. Joe said they got a development deal once and they would bunk together because Gilbert was so cheap. He said he hopes people realize that he really is brilliant. He said his stream of consciousness on stage is really brilliant.
They played a Stern Show clip from 1998 when Gilbert sat in during the news. Here's what I wrote back then:
Gilbert Gottfried Comes In. 6/18/98. 9:30am
Comedian Gilbert Gottfried came in to hang out during today's news. He came in a little early and sat through a couple of the homeless questions. While he was in Gilbert did what he does best.. That is annoy the crap out of everyone. Howard talked with him for a while and Gilbert did his usual collection of impressions. He was singing Jewish songs and doing a funny impression of an old Groucho Marx. Plus he did his famous Dracula impression. People either love or hate Gilbert. There's nothing in between. It seems like there's a lot more people who hate him though. Howard took some calls and some of them really hate him. I personally think he's one of the funniest guests to have on during the news. He constantly does impressions and talks over Robin while she's doing news stories. If you're a fan of his then you want to know that Gilbert is appearing at Caroline's Comedy Club tonight at 8pm. He also did the voice of a dog in the new ''Dr. Doolittle'' movie.
They played a Stern Show interview segment from 2005 when Howard talked to David Spade. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
David Spade Visits. 11/04/05. 8:50am
Howard said that David left him a message the other night where he said that he was Dave the Retard and High Pitch Dave to get Howard to call him back. Dave went on to tell Howard and the guys a story about hanging out with Kinison back in the days when he was heavy into coke. He offered some to Dave and when Dave turned it down, Sam told him he could stay the whole night since he wasn't going to be dipping into the stash. Howard told another story about Sam taking he and Robin out for a drive in his Trans Am and not watching the road as he was driving.
Dave told Howard about hanging out with Chris Farley who would take strangers up on their party invitations and actually go to them when they asked. Dave said he'd never go but Farley would go to any party. He talked about how Farley would get drunk and ask people for coke from people he didn't even know. Howard asked him if he's ever freaked out by that kind of stuff. He said that Sam would take pills and stuff while they were driving home and that kind of stuff really freaked him out. He said it's really fatiguing and draining to hang out with people like that.
After that we heard David Spade talking about Howard's interviewing skills. He said he always wants to know about money. No one wants to talk about it. He said that they will crack and they'll say if it's higher than Howard thinks it is. David said that it can drive him nuts sometimes but he's a very good interviewer. They went to break after that.
Next up we heard Fred Armisen who said that Rocket let the F-word slip once but he wasn't the first. Paul Shaffer once let it slip during a bit. They played a clip of that slip. Fred said that it's easy to slip up like that sometimes. He said there's a lot going on and you're trying to do your lines. He said he'll always remember Charles Rocket.
They played his F-word slip up and then went into an interview Howard did with Charles Rocket on April 1, 1988. In the clip Howard was playing Out of the Closet Stern and got Charlie Rocket on the phone. Howard asked what happened to him. Rocket said he's wondering what happened to him too.
Howard asked how old he was when he got hired to do SNL. He said he was 32. Howard said he read that he didn't get along with Eddie Murphy. Rocket said he felt he was condescending to his own race. Howard said Charlie used to come in wearing shades and stuff. He said he was on his way to becoming a big star. Howard said it must have been exciting. Rocket said it was.
Robin asked if he knew he was going to use the F-word during his skit. Rocket said he did not. He said it was a complete accident. Howard said he was thinking maybe it was a way to make a name for himself. Rocket said it really was just an accident but he doesn't feel bad about it at all. He said times are a changing and he said that Jerry Fallwell asked them to get rid of him because he was a disgrace. Howard said that guy is taking money from old ladies and he's going after a guy for using the F-word.
Howard asked if he had a guilt trip going on for years after that. Rocket said he was married and things were bad. He said the interesting thing is that he got fired for saying the word ''puck.''
Howard asked Rocket about Joe Piscopo wanting to rip his throat out. Rocket said Joe said he was a one dimensional character. Howard said he's a wonderful entertainer just like Joe is. Rocket said that Joe started hanging out with Eddie and that was the end for him. Robin said she hasn't seen Joe in any of Eddie's movies. Charlie said that he and Joe never really got along. He said they probably were laughing once they got rid of him over there.
Charlie said that he got set up and they told him not to make any reference to that F-word incident but the next week Bill Murray made reference to it and he ended up saying ''puck'' on the show that night and that's actually what got him fired.
Joe told Howard that Charlie threatened to rip his throat out on the show. He asked Howard what he's up to now. Howard said he called in recently and talked about the SNL stuff.
After that we heard from Keenan Thompson who talked about getting on SNL and how you try to get on the other side of it by graduating. He said it's great to see Piscopo and guys like that come through and recognize you.
Jimmy Fallon also talked about what it's like to see the old cast come through. He said Dan Aykroyd asked him to climb through a window to a terrace over at 30 Rock. He said Dan and John Belushi used to go out there and do their thing. He said now everyone knows about that space. He said it was like a dream.
After that they played a Stern Show clip from January 8, 1999 when Al Franken was sitting in. Here's what I wrote back then:
The Mike Walker Gossip Game With Al Franken. 1/8/99. 8:30am
One woman called in to tell Howard how she saw Al working out last week and saw his package fall out of his short shorts. She said it was a pretty nice size. Another woman called in and said Al came on to her years ago when she was working at an airport. Al denied that story and said he's been married 23 years so he wouldn't have done something like that. He didn't deny the story of falling out of his short shorts though.
Howard and Al also talked about Chris Farley's funeral. Franken went to the funeral so Howard talked to him about that.
They played an interview segment from 2011 when Sarah Silverman came in. Here's what I wrote:
Sarah Silverman Visits. 03/10/11. 7:55am
A caller told Howard that Sarah had a run in with Al Franken when they worked on SNL. Sarah stabbed him with a pencil once. Sarah said they have really sharp pencils around the table and she sat next to Al. She said that He had a big Jew for going on at the time and she thought about stabbing him through the hair and she accidentally stabbed him in the temple. She said that He screamed and asked what the hell she was doing. She said that she was laughing and crying at the same time. She said she looked like a crazy person. She said there's probably still lead in his head from that.
After that we heard from Dave Attell about how cool they were to him up at SNL. He said he would leave to do stand-up at night and they'd ask him why he was doing that if he was on TV. He said he just sat around and twiddled his thumbs. WE heard from Sarah Silverman about Dave and how she loved him and he's a great guy. She said she was trying not to get him mad at her for saying something wrong.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Dave in 2007. Here's what I wrote back then:
Comedian Dave Attell Visits. 12/05/07. 9:25am
Howard said that Lisa G just pitched a show today where she'd cook with Wack Packers. Dave gave that one a ''Hmmm...'' He said that he was thinking of a show called ''On Your Mark, Get Set, Brunch'' and it has Howard and Beth doing a show that didn't make much sense. Howard said it's no wonder he was fired from SNL.
Dave said that he was at SNL when Jay Mohr, Chris Farley and people like that were there. He said he'd pitch ideas but he just didn't get it. He said he was a fan of the show when he was growing up but he just didn't get the whole thing.
Dave was saying that when he gets really bored and wants to listen to Imus, he'll just take a cowboy hat and stick it on a pile of dirty laundry. They spent a short time on that and then Howard gave Dave some plugs for his HBO special. Dave said that he'll also be at Caroline's in Manhattan later this month. You can find out more at DaveAttell.com
After that we heard more of Dave talking about working up at SNL and how they didn't want him writing parodies and impersonations. He said that everything that got on that year was parodies and impersonations. He said they cock blocked him. Dave said he thinks that he left on good terms up there though. He said this was back in the 1990s or a Gulf War ago.
Kevin Nealon also talked about the Larry David thing and how he ended up quitting and then his friend told him to just show up the next day. He just continued to work there after that.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing writer Frank Sebastiano in 2002. Here's what I wrote back then:
More Greg Fitzsimmons Stuff. 9/30/02. 9:50am
Comedy writer Frank Sebastiano came in late in the show and spent a few minutes talking to Howard about his work on Saturday Night Live and some other stuff. He mentioned that he worked with Artie and Norm MacDonald on the movie ''Dirty Work'' but Howard told him to keep that quiet. Frank sat quiet for most of the time he was in except for the couple of minutes Howard spoke to him. He came in so late Howard didn't have all that much time to talk to him.
They played a show clip where Howard interviewed Conan on November 16, 1994. This is also when the Jackie Puppet attacked. Here's what I wrote about that show in a replay a few years ago:
They played a show clip where Conan O'Brien was on the show and the puppet was giving him a hard time. Howard said he was reading that Conan was going to be losing his show soon. Conan didn't know that and said that his ratings had been going up. Jackie Puppet started in on Conan goofing on him within a minute of him coming in. Howard told the puppet that he was a loser and didn't have a show and he as making fun of Conan. Conan said he thinks the puppet will have a show soon. The puppet told him some jokes and then told Conan that's f'n funny stuff. The puppet was trying to get a job on Conan's show. Howard went on with the interview and the puppet would come in with jokes every few minutes. Jackie Puppet was drinking beer and getting more and more vicious with Conan. Conan asked Howard if he would ever come on his show. Howard quickly said no but the Jackie Puppet said he would come on. Howard let Conan go after that.
That led into a clip from November 10, 1994 when Robin read about Michael O'Donoghue dying of a massive cerebral hemorrhage. Howard said he was considered one of the dark writers. Robin had some audio of Alan Zweibel talking about Michael Howard said Alan's job has become just talking about these people who died. Howard goofed on Alan a little bit talking about the book he wrote and how awful he thought that was. Howard said he likes Alan but he's a weird guy. Howard said he talks about dating Gilda Radner in the book but he doesn't tell the truth about why he didn't marry her. Howard said she wasn't a good looking woman. He said that's probably the real reason.
Gary said he had a conversation with Michael a few years ago. He said that he was told that Michael hated Chevy Chase so he called to find out what his reasons were. He said he got the feeling that he was sitting in a very dark apartment while he talked to him. They wrapped up and ended the show for today around 11:05am.
First up this morning they played a clip of Howard talking about the Carol Burnett show and how that was where you went for entertainment before SNL. He said on SNL they had rules about not cracking up on camera and things like that. He said Dan Aykroyd has never been able to do those characters in movies like he did on SNL. He said he did some great things on SNL and they're classic. He said that Norm MacDonald was great too and he never understood that firing.
That led into an SNL clip with some music. Then we heard from Jim Breuer about when they heard Howard might be doing the show. He said it was huge news. Then we heard Lorne Michaels talking about how Howard came to them and wanted to do something and they had to figure out how to make it work with Howard's style.
We heard from David Spade about how huge the news was to him back when Howard came on. He said Howard was a New York guy and they were a New York show so it worked out pretty well. Norm MacDonald said Howard told him he was the only talented one on the show and that may have pissed everyone else off. Colin Quinn and Tracy Morgan also quickly commented on what Howard said. Lorne Michaels said he didn't think it was going to be a terrorist attack or anything like that.
That led into a show clip where Howard was playing the audio from SNL in 1997. Here's what I wrote back then:
Howard Talks About His Saturday Night Live Appearance. 2/24/97. 6:45am
Howard talked about his unusual experience on Saturday Night Live. Howard said that they do a dress rehearsal around 7:00pm so he had to do his SNL bashing twice in one night! In the dress rehearsal he yelled a little bit more than on the live show that all of America saw. Howard had the tape of the dress rehearsal so he played it twice this morning. Howard spent most of his night locked in his dressing room because most of the cast were giving him dirty looks because of what he said about them. Norm MacDonald and his writers were the only friends that Howard had that night. Lorne Michaels told Howard that he did fine also. If you watched the show you may have noticed that Howard didn't stick around until the end of the show where everyone waves good bye. He said that he was afraid to because of the casts reaction to his segment. He also turned down a chance to introduce Tina Turner along with Alec Baldwin. Howard just wanted to hang out in his dressing room and hide. Later in the morning Gary had some ratings from Saturday night and SNL did amazingly well when Howard was on. Here's how the ratings were for the NYC market as Gary read them:
They played a clip of Howard talking to Tracy in 2007. Here's what I wrote back then:
Tracy Morgan Visits. 08/02/07. 7:25am
Howard asked Tracy if he heard from any of his show business friends when he got arrested. He said he doesn't expect them to, he has his own friends that do call. Howard asked him about his childhood and what it was like growing up. Tracy said that he had someone in his neighborhood write on the top of his Infiniti ''Tracy Morgan is Gay'' so he wrote ''Suck my dick motherfucker'' on it himself.
Tracy also told Howard that his kids were home schooled and that meant that they got to travel with him and got to know him very well. He went on to talk about how in the end, he just wants to be on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and sticking his hands in cement. He was asking Howard to give him some production deal so he can make some movies. He said that he's got some ideas for movies. Howard told him to write a script and he'd look at it. Tracy told him to come up with the dough first.
That led into a Stern Show clip where Howard was talking to Jimmy in 2002. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Comedian Jimmy Fallon Comes In. 9/10/02. 8:45am
Howard moved on to ask Jimmy about how great it is to be the ''hot guy'' on Saturday Nigh Live now. Jimmy didn't talk about that much. He ended up telling Howard how lame all of these other morning DJs are. He did an impression of the DJs he did a show with not too long ago to show just how bad they are. Jimmy then told Howard that he really should leave radio because it's gotten so bad. Jimmy told Howard he thinks he's done all that he can do in radio.
Howard heard that Jimmy once went up to Jackie the Joke Man and asked him for some advice on being a comedian. Jackie told him to quit which was pretty bad advice. Jimmy does a great Jackie impression so he did that a little bit. Howard said that Jackie gave bad advice to a lot of people including Eddie Murphy.
Jimmy is a big fan of Howard's so he asked what ever happened to Kenneth Keith Kallenbach. Howard said Kenneth has been calling him lately wondering why he can't get on the show. Jimmy talked about how great Kenneth was on Howard's WWOR show back in the late 80's. They talked about him blowing smoke out of his eyes and then throwing up. Howard also mentioned some of the other wacky stuff that Kenneth did when he was on the show. Jimmy said he loved that guy. Howard eventually broke down and said that he'd have Kenneth on again because he really was great on the show.
Jimmy said he even bought Stuttering John's music CD because he was such a fan. Now he's got his own CD out. Howard asked him about the CD and wondered if people just listen to them one time and then throw them out. Jimmy said it gets better after a couple of times.
They played a clip of Howard interviewing Norm in 1998. Here's what I wrote back then:
Norm MacDonald Comes In. 6/9/98. 8:25am
Comedian Norm MacDonald came in to plug his new movie ''Dirty Work'' which opens on Friday, June 12. Norm stars in the movie with his buddy Artie Lang. Artie was with Norm today and came in to hang out for a while. The last time the two of them were on together Artie explained how he got fired from Fox's Mad TV because of his cocaine use. The first thing Norm noticed when he walked in was the huge Rosie O'Donnell jelly bean head. Howard had him take a guess at how many beans were in the head. Norm guessed 6,108. That number was incorrect according to Gary. Howard spent some time talking about how NBC asswipe Don Ohlmyer wasn't allowing Norm's movie to be advertised on the network. Ohlmyer is the guy who had Norm fired from his job on Saturday Night Live because he didn't think he was funny. That was supposed to be the big story today when Norm came in but Ohlmyer's boss Bob Wright said that they'd allow Norm's movie to be advertised now. They must have thought about how dumb it was to ban him in the first place. Howard also read a story somewhere that Norm was now divorced. Norm denied it a bunch of times but Howard said he couldn't tell if Norm was telling the truth or not. They also spent some time talking about Norm's stand-up routine that didn't go to well at some college. A couple of listeners called in to tell Howard how weird Norm was that night. Norm said that it was just an off night and the audience didn't like him. Artie had a story about getting a ''Blumpkin'' from a prostitute up in Toronto. He didn't get into much detail but said that a ''Blumpkin'' is when someone gives you oral sex while you sit on the toilet. Before Norm left he said that he'll be working on a new movie called ''Ball Busted'' starting in about a week. After that he's got another script in the works and when that's done he said he'd like to go back to doing TV.
They played a Stern Show clip where Robin read about Gilda dying. Robin said she died in her sleep. She said she had been in a coma for a couple of weeks before that. Howard said she didn't even get to see the Rob Lowe tape. Robin said she didn't get to see her husband's new movie either.
Howard said they dug her but she left the show crying. He said it was real weird and just a weird show. Howard said he knows what was going on now. He said she may have been sick and maybe she was just confused. He said he was so looking forward to having her on the show. He said as soon as he said it was good to meet her she said ''Yeah, sure!'' Howard said he tried to convince her that he liked her but she said it was the same way Hinkley liked Jodi Foster.
Howard and Robin talked about Gilda banging her head on the way out of the studio because she was in such a rush. Howard said she went out of her way to get out of the studio. Howard said he feels kind of sad about the whole thing. He said he really did like her. Robin said she didn't even know how to end her book because she wasn't sure if she was going to live or die.
Next up we heard Jim Belushi talking about meeting Gilda at his brother's apartment. He said that his breath was taken when he met her. He said she was so pretty and cute and she had those eyes. He said she also had a great personality. He said he must have been staring at her pretty hard because she turned to him and asked ''Who's this?'' Jim said they introduced him and calmed her down. He said she was gifted and gifted and more gifted.
That led into a Stern Show clip where Howard interviewed Gilda at WNBC on December 20, 1983. Howard said they can talk to Gilda about anything they want other than her boyfriend Gene. Howard said that they won't ask her any sexual questions. He said maybe they'll only take sexual questions.
Howard told Gilda that he was a big fan but Gilda didn't seem so sure. Howard said that she must think he's a Hinkley type. She said maybe he is. Howard goofed around with that for a few seconds. Howard asked Gilda if she saw Mr. T and Nancy Reagan. He said that she sat on his lap. He said maybe Gilda can do that with him.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how many men Gilda has been with. Howard said he'd bet at least 10. Howard asked Gilda what she says. Gilda didn't answer. She said she'd like to change the premise to non-sexual questions. Howard said women should be proud of how many men they've been with. Howard asked when she lost her virginity. He said he was 16. She didn't answer.
Howard took a few calls and ended up hanging up on a bunch of them. Then someone asked how many times a week Gilda has sex. Howard said she didn't want to answer those questions. One woman told Howard how great he is and asked Gilda if she would do a skit on the new Saturday Night Live. Howard said she would not. The caller said Eddie Murphy is great. Howard said he's not as great as Gilda was. Howard said he doesn't think that Gilda is going to go on that show again.
Howard said he thought that Gilda would really like him. Gilda said it was actually pretty scary. Howard said he's a big fan of her's. He let her go after that. Howard said he had a good time. He thought she had a good time too. Robin said she doesn't think she'll ever come back.
After an edited out break Howard said he had to recover. He said he thought she would have thought he was funny but she walked out upset. Howard said he didn't do anything. Howard said he was kissing her butt trying to get a movie part or something but she walked out like she never wants to see him again. Howard said they're all pretty freaked out. Robin said she doesn't want to work with him anymore, he scares her. Robin said that's no way to win friends and influence people.
Howard said he thought there would be a movie part in it for him or something. Robin said it doesn't look that way. Howard said she walked out practically in tears. Robin said she didn't seem to know how to take Howard. Howard said no one would shake his hand goodbye. Robin said it's very scary when someone reacts like that. She thought she was having a good time at first. Howard said he did ask her about Gene Wilder. Robin said they're not together in that sense. Howard said he didn't know that so maybe he did put his foot in his mouth.
Howard asked the ABC TV crew that was filming him if they thought he was rude. One guy said he did. Howard asked who invited him in there. He said he's pretty sure he won't be in Hanky Panky 2.
Howard went over what he had done and tried to figure out what he did wrong. He took a call from a woman who said she thought Howard sounded fine. Howard asked if he did anything rude. She said he didn't do anything wrong on air. Howard said she walked out of there like she hated his guts.
Howard said he does insult people but only if he thinks they deserve it. He didn't do that to her. Howard said her press people wouldn't even shake his hand goodbye. He said he was on his best behavior. They did worse stuff on Saturday Night Live. Howard said Gilda walked out of there crying. He said maybe she was shaking from sexual tension. They wrapped up and went to break after that.
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After that we heard Gilbert talking about being on SNL from 80 to 81. He said that it was triumphant if triumphant means total shit. He said it was major, steaming triumphant. Gilbert said they were there after the original cast left. He said that he was the one who told Belushi that he could gain a few pounds and to do some drugs.
That led into a clip from March 30, 2004 when Howard talked to Al Franken about his coke use. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Al Franken Comes In. 03/30/04. 8:40am
Howard told Al that he sounds ready for his radio show. He then took a phone call from a guy who said that Al has a coke problem and he's goofing on Rush about his drug use. The caller was really belligerent so Howard had to hand up on him and let Al answer the question. Al said that back in the 70's he was working for Saturday Night Live and he may have had to use drugs just so he could stay up long enough to make sure that the other people he was working with didn't do too much coke.
That led into a clip from March 8, 1982, when Howard was talking about John Belushi dying and how he tried to find out how that happened. Robin said no one knows yet. She said they haven't released the results of the autopsy yet. Robin said they can rule out choking and a heart attack but they don't know for sure what killed him. Robin said that some sources are saying it was a drug overdose. Howard said he heard that he was doing drugs and eating at the same time.
Robin told Howard some details that she heard about the story and she thought it was a mistake. Howard said it's really sad.
After that we heard Jim Belushi talking about how he had left his brother alone and he thinks that he cheated himself out of a better relationship with him.
Next up they played a Stern Show clip from March 8, 1982 when Howard was doing a weather report and talked more about the John Belushi death. Howard was talking to ''God'' about the weather and God said they were having a food fight up there. Howard said that's because Belushi is up there.
Next up they played a clip from September 4, 1991 when Howard talked about Gary going to Belushi's grave. Howard said the only name on the head stone is ''Belushi'' and it's just a giant rock with no years or anything on it. Howard said he wants that same gravestone when he dies. Howard said it's the most happening grave stone he's ever seen. He said it's actually kind of eerie.
After that they played a Stern Show clip from June 15, 2001 when Howard talked to Sarah about her bed wetting. Here's what I wrote back then:
The Gossip Game With Guest Sarah Silverman. 6/15/01. 7:00am
Comedian Sarah Silverman, who
Howard read in his notes that Sarah was a bed wetter when she was in her teens. He found that to be sexy. She said she regularly wet her bed until she was 15. Then after she was fired from SNL she wet the bed 3 more times in about a month. She said one time was with a guy friend of her's that she sleeps (just sleeps) with. Then she did it again with a guy she was having sex with but none of the guys ever cared that she did it. Howard said he wouldn't care either because she's so cute.
Norm MacDonald said that Dana may have been the one who got the most laughs on Saturday Night Live. He said he would just do things where he would just make noise when he'd do the voices he did. He said he'd do a Regis impression and it was great. He said his impressions were very well done and he was a joy to work with.
That led to a Stern Show clip where Dana Carvey called into the show on September 1, 1992. Howard said Dana claims that he's a big fan of the show even though he's never done the show before. Gary said that he knows that Howard has said some things about him but he's okay with that. Dana told Howard he's a Superfan of the show. He said he would actually watch Howard's show during the taping of SNL. He said that the catering guys would always have it on so he'd watch while he waited to go on.
Howard asked if they were freaking out over there when he had bigger ratings. Dana said he didn't know that. He said they just figure they're the biggest and don't even talk about that kind of thing.
Howard asked Dana what Lorne Michaels says when his name comes up. Dana didn't say. Howard asked Dana if he's going to take over Letterman's spot there. Dana said he is contracted with NBC but he's not sure about that. Dana asked Howard if he would take that slot. Howard said he doesn't have the time. Howard said that if they do offer Dana Lettemran's job he shouldn't do it.
Howard said that Dennis Miller claims that it's because of Leno that his show failed. Howard said that's not the reason. He said he has to talk to Dennis about that when he comes in tomorrow.
Howard gave Dana some plugs for the MTV awards. Howard said he knew that Dana was preparing a character based on him. Dana said that's not really true. Howard said he heard about him talking to Roseanne about it. Dana said he was going to do a morning radio guy but it wasn't really Howard. He said it's those morning zoo guys that he was going to be doing.
Howard asked Dana if he's leaving SNL. Dana said his contract is up soon and he has some movie things he might be doing. They spent a couple more minutes on that.
Next up they played another SNL clip with Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey in it. Then we heard from Kevin who said that they were going to do a movie together. He said that Arnold Schwarzenegger came on SNL one time and they figured he was coming on to kill them because they were goofing on him. He said Maria Shriver was there and they walked into the room and it was full of cigar smoke. Kevin said he looked up at them and said hello and asked how he was supposed to do the accent. He said they knew he had a sense of humor after that.
Robin read the news story about how some guys approached Garrett and asked for money. He didn't have money so they shot him and now he's in critical condition. Howard said the story was buried in the Daily News and it wasn't even in the NY Post. Howard wondered what he was doing in South Central, Los Angeles. Robin said he did have a drug problem years ago but she's not sure if that's still an issue.
After that we heard from Jim Belushi about how great Garrett was to work with. He had him on his TV show. Then we heard from Keenan Thompson. He said that he was on ''Martin'' for a long time and he loved him on that.
That led into a show clip from July 20, 1995 when Howard was interviewing Garrett Morris. Howard was asking Garrett about OJ and if he thinks he's innocent or guilty. Garrett said he shouldn't say anything. He said that he's innocent until proven guilty. Howard said that's why he was shot and that's why there's so much crime in South Central. Howard said that he should not be afraid to say he believes he's guilty. Garrett said that he will say this. He said that he doesn't think the evidence is unimpeachable. He said the evidence is flawed. He said they could end up with a hung jury.
Howard said he knows that Garrett is with him on this. He said he thinks that OJ is guilty and Garrett has to be with him. Garrett wouldn't agree with him on that though. Howard said the guy was near death so he will drop this whole thing now.
They played a clip from Howard's show in 2010 when he was talking to Rob Schneider. Here's what I wrote back then:
Rob Schneider Visits. 08/09/10. 8:25am
Howard asked Rob about how he got hired on Saturday Night Live. Rob said he had like a killer 20 minutes that he did and they saw it and hired him pretty quick. He said that he was never as good as Jerry Seinfeld or anyone but he had that 20 minutes that was really good.
Rob said that Dennis Miller was very helpful back then. He said he was hired as a writer at first. He said that things worked out for him though. Rob said that they've never really had any competition there so it's like a good restaurant in a great location.
Howard said he had some tape that they've played on the show where some radio guy gave Rob a hard time and ended up making him walk off the show. Rob said the guy wasn't very talented and he may have been drunk that morning. Howard played the clip where Rob was trying to talk to the guys and joked around about how they made him wait out in the parking lot while they had some other guest on the show promoting that Michael Jackson movie that came out after he died. Rob said he was just joking about being upset about waiting out in the parking lot. The guys on the show got pissed at him about his joking around. Then Rob told them that they should have some material and have some questions for him. They were arguing that they were packed full and they had plenty going on with the show. They told him that it was officially over after he joked one too many times. They were going on and on arguing about the whole thing. Rob kept trying to explain that he was just joking around but they said it wasn't funny. They took a call from a listener who said that the guy sitting in on the show was being the jerk.
Howard said he liked that they went to the phone call to find out if they were the jerks. Howard said the best part is when Rob walks off. Rob said the chick walked off first. Rob said he was left in the studio with the drunk guy. Howard played more of the audio where the host continued to go on with the interview but didn't seem happy with him. Another guy in the studio said that this happens with comedians all the time. Then Rob walked off. They continued to talk about how the interviews don't go well.
Howard said they didn't sound drunk to him. Rob said he was serious and one of the guys said he had vodka in the studio. He said he was either blitzed or untalented. Rob said he tried to stick it out with them but they didn't want him in there. He said that was their interpretation of what went on. Howard said that Rob showed up by himself this morning and without an entourage. Rob said that he's not a huge star, a-hole even though he wants to be.
After that we heard Rob Schneider talking about how people were afraid of Howard back in the days when he was on SNL. He said you had to listen to the show to keep up with what was going on and he was a force to be reckoned with. They went to break a short time later.
After that we heard a Stern Show clip from 2010 where Howard talked to Gilbert about working on SNL. Here's what I wrote back then:
Gilbert Gottfried Visits. 11/17/10. 8:30am
Howard asked Gilbert when he knew he had made it in his career. Gilbert said he never felt that way on Saturday Night Live. He said the whole thing was a disaster back then. Gilbert said he wasn't exited to get on the show and when he got there it turned out to be awful. Howard asked how he got on. Gilbert said he had to audition. He did some impressions and things to get the job.
Howard said that Gilbert is great when he does Dracula and he could have worked that into a regular bit. He asked if he wrote bits for himself. Gilbert said he did but he gave up quickly. Howard said Gilbert is so resistant to collaboration that he wouldn't do anything on the show.
Howard asked Gilbert why he didn't sit down and write something at SNL. He doesn't understand that. Gilbert said it's just totally self destructive stuff, just like Artie. Gilbert said he's like Brando looking at the business with disdain. Howard said he remembers when Billy Crystal was on he just laid out every character he had.
Gilbert said that everyone hated SNL that year he was on. He said that he was on with Eddie Murphy, Joe Piscopo and other people you wouldn't know. Gilbert said they had him on a sketch once and he played the corpse in the funeral scene. He said that was their way of showing what they thought of him on the show.
Howard said he had to convince Gilbert to come on the show and do his Andrew Dice Gottfried and when he did, it turned out to be a great bit. Gilbert remembered that moment and thought it was great. Howard asked why he didn't walk into the room at SNL and do something like that.
Gilbert said he did the old Groucho voice for that Cyber Chase cartoon. He said the character puts on glasses and a moustache so he did that voice.
Howard said he can't figure Gilbert out. He said back in the days of the channel 9 show he wanted to shape Gilbert into something. He said he could be so huge if he just did this, this and this. Howard said he believes in Gilbert's talents more than Gilbert even does. Gilbert said Howard should have been his agent.
Gilbert still does stuff that gets him banned from networks. Gary said that he did some dirty jokes and he got himself banned from FOX.
Robin said that Gilbert could go out and not make a fool out of himself and still be funny. Howard said he goes back and thinks about Gilbert. Howard said he stopped Sam Kinison from embarrassing himself at the Emmy Awards that one time. Gilbert said that he was the one with the scandal of the night. He said that Sam came up to him laughing that night since he was the one that everyone was worried about.
Howard said Gilbert has such talent and if he had walked out and did the Georgie Jessel character it would have been great. Gilbert said he's just a self destructive guy. Howard said he thinks that Gilbert likes to think of himself like an island. He doesn't want to collaborate with anyone.
Howard talked about some of the characters Gilbert does that he loves. Gilbert said he does another one and did an impression of a director he worked with. He said the guy got mad at him for doing an impression of him on the set of things that they worked on.
After that they played a Stern Show clip from 2010 when Robert Downey Jr. called in. Here's some of what I wrote:
Robert Downey Jr. Calls In. 05/13/10. 8:30am
Howard asked Robert and Susan if they have any big celebrity friends. Howard told them about the party that Jimmy Kimmel is throwing for him. Robert said that sounds cool. Robert said that his assistant is more excited about him being on Howard's show today than she is about any of his movies. Robert said there are a lot of people who listen to Howard out there and there are probably a lot of secret Santa fans out there.
Howard said he would invite Robert and Susan to the party but they're out in Napa. Robert said they're on their way back actually. Howard said he should have them out there then.
Howard asked Robert if Mickey Rourke is as nuts as he seems. Robert said he's a sweetheart of a guy. Howard wanted to know who was at their party. Robert said that Jamie Foxx was at their party. Howard said he thinks that he and Jamie are in a feud right now. Robert said that it's probably Howard's fault. Howard said it could be.
Howard asked if Nicholson went to their party. Robert said he wasn't there but he sees him at Lakers games. He said the only contact they have is a nod of the head at a Lakers game.
Howard asked if the Jolie Pitts were invited to their party. Susan said they may have had them on the list. Howard asked who else was there. They mentioned Samuel L. Jackson and Jon Favreau and people like that. Robert said that they've worked with a lot of people over the year so they have those people to the party. Robert said his wife has the classier friends so she invites those people.
Howard asked Robert if he still masturbates a lot. Robert said that was over when he was 12. Howard said he read that he was a chronic masturbator. Robert said he may have said that but he may have been just entertaining himself in that interview.
Robert said that he sometimes doesn't masturbate because he wants to save his ''diamond seed'' for having sex. Howard said he has started to do that. Howard said his shrink asks him why he can't just take care of himself instead of getting upset that his wife isn't doing it. Howard said he does that at times and just did it the other night.
Howard said he learned to jack off as a kid so he can get it done in seconds. Robert said they should do a fund raiser and do a YouTube video where they have a masturbation race. Howard said he would do that.
They played a Stern Show clip from 2005 when Howard interviewed Jim Breuer. Here's some of what I wrote:
Jim Breuer Comes In. 05/04/05. 9:15am
Howard talked to Jim about his days working on Saturday Night Live and how much he hated that. Jim said it's just like any other job. He worked at Sears and there was just as much back stabbing going on there as there was at SNL. Jim said he'd have to hide his ideas from people so they wouldn't steal them from him. Jim said that Norm MacDonald was on the show at the time and he'd do whatever he wanted over there. He actually did a pretty funny impression of Norm while he was talking about him. Jim also said he didn't like David Spade when he first met him. He said he was a little faggot like the 3rd grade kid who missed the kickball. Jim said that he was the new monkey boy when Farley was gone from the show and Spade apparently didn't treat him right. Jim talked about how he got the job on SNL just 7 days before they started the new season. Jim said that Spade called him the ''new idiot'' when he walked in for the first time over there. Jim said Spade would treat him like crap in front of crowds there at SNL until he threatened to pop him right in his snot box. Jim said that they got along after that. A little threat goes a long way apparently. Artie said you really do have to let some of those arrogant guys know that you're willing to throw them out of a window to get their respect. Artie didn't know that Spade was one of those guys because he's always been cool to him. Jim said he's cool with Spade now though.
Jim said that Norm really didn't care when he was working over there. He'd just show up one day out of a hole. Jim said he respected Norm when he was there. Artie said there's no better guy to talk to about show business than Norm. He told a story about going to an Up-front at FOX because he was on the network at the time. One of the executive came up to Norm and told him that his show was the highest tested shows ever and then walked over to Jason Bateman who was on the network at well. Another executive came up to Norm and asked where the other guy was. Norm told that exec that the other guy was over telling Jason Bateman that his show is the highest tested show on the network. Artie said that Norm gets it and knows that it's a bunch of crap.
After that they played a Stern Show segment from February 2, 1997 when David Spade was visiting. In that clip Howard said he heard Spade really hates Farley. David said they're really like an old married couple. David told Howard that they're trying to do another movie and they're getting along. He said they're just hoping they get it done before Chris has a heart attack. Howard said he really is getting alarmingly fat. David said that everyone tells him that they think he's going to have a heart attack. He said that it's tough because he's a hysterical guy. David said that he does get out of breath after doing sketches.
Howard said it is kind of funny to watch a guy have a heart attack on TV though. David said Chris would tell him stories about his dad being overweight and how he was a portly 12 year old. David said Chris would ask his mom to pull over because he was starving. His mom would ask how he could be hungry because they just ate. His dad would tell him he was a good boy because he was hungry too.
David told Howard about how he and Chris shared an office and Chris would be very moody. He said he was the 81 pound guy that he could throw against the wall if he wanted to.
David said that he and Chris did Black Sheep together and people pretend that they didn't even do it. He said that they do want to do another movie together. He said that Tommy Boy is one that people seemed to like so they want to do another one.
They played a Stern Show clip where Howard was talking to Keenan in 2009. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
Saturday Night Live's Keenan Thompson Visits. 12/08/09. 9:00am
Howard asked Keenan if he has made friends with any of the old SNL people. Keenan said that he goes back and studies some of the past shows. He said that they have to come up with new ideas and they want to make sure they're not repeating any of the old stuff. Howard asked if he writes stuff for himself. He said that's what you have to do to get on the air. He said that he has a lot of premise ideas but he needs help writing the bits.
Howard asked if any of the cast members feel they have to come and welcome him to the show. He said that Dan Aykroyd comes around a lot and he's really cool. He said he talked to Dennis Miller the other day and he's very cool too. Howard asked if David Spade ever talks to him. He said he ran into him one night and that guy gets a lot of poon. Howard said he was on the phone with him this weekend and he had to run to get some pussy.
Robin asked Keenan if he's met Eddie Murphy. Keenan said he hasn't but he's heard some run in stories with him before and he doesn't want to ruin his childhood by having a meeting go wrong. Howard said that Eddie is tough to interview but he's been very nice to him when he's met him.
Howard asked Keenan if he gets upset when they have a guest who doesn't put effort into their sketches. Keenan said that there are some people they have to do that for and it is kind of a bummer. He said that there are some people who aren't into it so it is kind of tough. He said that Paris Hilton might be someone like that.
Howard asked if Keenan has to read a lot of newspapers for the job. Keenan said that they really do. Howard asked if he has time for his girlfriend. He said he doesn't get a lot of sleep with the girlfriend but he likes the work. He said he loves the gig and he may never see anything like it again. He said he hopes to be able to do a couple more years there. He's been on there for 7 years already. Howard had no idea it had been that long. He said he just recently became aware of Keenan on the show. He said that he kept stopping and watching his stuff because it was good.
The caller asked if any of the women who have hosted have given him a stiffie. Keenan said that he was attracted to Megan Fox. The caller said that Taylor Swift was good on the show. Keenan said she was good and she's a pretty girl too.
Another caller asked if it was true that Keenan ate his co-star Kel from his Nickelodeon show. Keenan thanked the guy for making him feel better about himself this morning.
A woman called in and said that she and her family were singing one of the songs that he does on SNL called ''What up with That.'' She said that he's great on the show. They had to go to break a short time later.
They played a Stern Show clip from December 13, 1984 when Eddie Murphy dropped by the show. Howard had Eddie come in but he said he can't stay long. Howard said he loves that Eddie is getting big but he still drops in to say hi to his pal Howard. Howard said that he has his new movie ''Beverly Hills Cop'' out now. Howard said he feels good for him.
Eddie told Howard he heard a guy made a joke about him on Letterman so he ran down there, got on the show and sat in during the guy's segment so he ruined the shot. Eddie told Howard he had to run after that.
Eddie left and Janie the Cleaning Lady was out there bothering him so he called her in. Janie said he's cuter than he is on TV. Howard said he wanted to ask him why he got engaged. He said he should have done that.
Janie told Howard that she can't believe that she got to meet Eddie. Howard asked if that was him standing out there. Robin laughed and said that's not him. It was some other guy out there.
Howard spent a little more time talking to Janie about Eddie. They wrapped up a short time later.
After that we heard Joe Piscopo talking about how great Eddie was and how in awe he was. He said not everyone felt that way though. Then we heard from Gilbert Gottfried who talked about how an exec called Eddie one day when they were hanging out. He said he heard Eddie saying he'd keep whatever it was a secret. Gilbert said that Eddie told him as soon as he got off the phone. They had fired a producer from the show and he learned that you should never tell Eddie a secret. They went to break after that.
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Robin's News. 10/20/08. 9:55am
Robin read some news about this weekend's Saturday Night Live which featured the real Sarah Palin along with Tina Fey doing her impression of Palin. Howard played some audio of that show where they cut to Palin back stage with Lorne Michaels and Alec Baldwin.
The SNL discussion led to the guys talking about how the video from SNL and shows like that are on the web now. Howard said that's killing the ad business and NBC has no choice but to put those clips on the web now.
That led into an E! Interview show clip where Howard talked to Phil Hartman on September 18, 1993. In the clip Howard played some audio of Phil doing his Bill Clinton impression. Phil told Howard how the process of writing works at SNL. Phil said he's sort of a utility guy over there. Howard said that's because he can carry a sketch over there.
Howard said he heard that Jay Leno asked him to be his sidekick and he turned it down. Phil said he did turn that down. Howard said he can keep this job and keep working in movies and stuff. He said the money must be pretty incredible. Phil said that the money is pretty good right now. He said he's making the kind of money that a lot of people would start at in prime time. Phil said he has a deal to do a prime time show for NBC. He said it'll be a very different kind of show. Phil told Howard he wants to do a detective kind of comedy and he can't do that while working on SNL.
Howard said he wrote a book while doing the radio show. Phil said he's still a young man so of course he can. Howard said he's almost 40 years old so he's not that young. Howard asked Phil about working with Pee Wee Herman and doing graphic design and things like that.
They played a Stern Show clip when Howard was talking to Chris in 2001. Here's what I wrote that day:
Chris Kattan Comes In. 10/10/01. 8:50am
Howard asked Chris how he ended up on Saturday Night Live so Chris told him how he was discovered while performing in the improv group The Groundlings. Chris said he and a couple of other SNL people were discovered at the same time. Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri were all asked to audition at the same time and they all got the jobs. Chris described how they auditioned up on stage at the SNL studio all alone with no laughter or response from the people watching.
Howard also discussed the feuds Chris has had with people like Andy Dick and Norm MacDonald. Andy Dick didn't like the impression Chris did of him on SNL and it led to him writing a nasty song about Chris which he performed on Howard's show. Howard replayed some tape from that song and spoke to Chris about the feud. Chris said that he ran into Andy since then and he seems to be over his hatred.
They played a Stern Show interview segment from 2006 with Darrell Hammond after that. Here's what I wrote that day:
Comedian Darrell Hammond Visits. 03/30/06. 9:10am
Howard went through the list of impressions that Darrell does. He asked him to do some of his Jay Leno since it's brilliant. He also does Jesse Jackson so Artie told him that's his favorite. Darrell did a little bit of that and had the guys laughing. Howard said he could listen to that impression every day.
Howard told Darrell that when he runs into him on the street he always seems kind of down. Darrell said that he's not into talking about certain things in his life when Howard asked him if he was ever molested as a child. Robin told Darrell that she was molested by her father when she was a young girl. Howard had Darrell doing his Jesse Jackson impression trying to cheer Robin up about her molestation.
Howard said that the best thing about Darrell is that he's so relaxed when he does his impressions. Darrell said that he's been doing them since he was a kid so he's pretty comfortable with that. Howard saw that Darrell does Barney Fife so he asked him to do a little bit of that. Darrell got up and did a few seconds of that. Howard said that Darrell had everything going, even the lips and movements that Don Knotts used to do. The guys had some fun with that impression for a short time.
Howard asked Darrell if he'd like to do an hour long radio show where he'd do his impressions and host a music show. Darrell said that he might do that if Howard sponsors it. He told Howard that he was getting a colonoscopy one time and the nurse was telling him that he's actually much better looking than Bill Clinton. He said that his apartment burned down once and the fire fighters were even talking to him about the impressions he does.
They played an interview segment from 2009 when Howard talked to Tracy. Here's some of what I wrote:
Tracy Morgan Visits. 10/20/09. 7:15am
Howard said he was complimenting him on the audio book version of his book. He said that he wasn't treated like he is now and people thought they were better than him. Tracy said if you work anywhere you're not going to get along with everyone. He said that he never hung out with those two that he was talking about in that clip. He said that Chris Kattan and Sheri Oteri weren't his friends there at SNL.
Howard said he read that Tracy was a crack dealer. He also fucked a 14 year old babysitter when he was 10 years old. Tracy said that he was 8 and his brother was 10. The girl was 14 and she let them put it in her. Tracy said he was only 8 and he didn't know what to do so he was crying. He said he didn't love it and he thought it was ''ookie'' because he was just a kid.
Howard asked Tracy about trading crack for sex with a young lady and making her put a bag on her head. Tracy said that he hit her doggy style and she looked like the Unknown Comic. He said that he just told her he was into that. He said she had a cigarette hanging out of her mouth with the bag over her head. He said the bag caught on fire and half her mouth was burned. She had a bangin' body according to Tracy. He said that her face was bad though.
Howard asked Tracy about his parents. Tracy said his father edited in 1987 from AIDS but it was from drug use. He said his father was fucked up from being in Vietnam and he came back with some bad habits. He said that he loved his parents.
Tracy said that he lives a real life and he gets hit in the face every day. He said his mom had to raise 5 kids by herself. Tracy said he was making about $2,000 a week selling crack. He said there are some guys making $2 million a week so that 2 grand was nothing.
Tracy said that he didn't get into crack himself. He said that he got things turned around when his friend Alan died. He said that he got shot in the back by another crack dealer. Tracy said he could have been there with him because they were really close. He said he could have ended up dead along with him.
Howard said he's excited about this book. He said he's getting to know more about him from this book. Howard said that his father was an unusual man. He read that his father told him how he fucked his mother doggy style to have him. Tracy said that he did tell him that. Howard said most people don't know how they were conceived. Howard said Tracy does. Tracy said he knows how he got his name and how his father hit it.
Tracy said he got his name from a guy his father knew in the war. He was on the plane with the guy on the way over there.
Tracy said that his kid caught him having sex with his wife and the kid hasn't spoken to him since then. Howard asked if he thinks it's wild that his father told him how he was conceived. Tracy said his father probably didn't expect him to put it in a book. He said that it's not that big of a deal, it's not like other parents didn't do it doggy style.
Howard said that his mother doesn't do anal. He said that she told him about that. Howard said Fred's mom did anal and talked about it on the air though.
Howard said Tracy is angry with his mom for kicking his dad out of the house for his drug use. Tracy said that's the norm where he came from. He said that she had to raise a family and she told him he had to go.
Howard said it's ironic that he became a crack dealer after that. Tracy said he's glad that his kids won't have to go down that lane. He said he's a funny mother fucker so they don't have to worry about it. He said his father told him that he would end that cycle and he was right.
Howard said Tracy's brother got spinal meningitis from playing with toys in the toilet. He's got trouble walking now from that.
Howard read that it was tough for Tracy growing up in the area he lived in. Tracy said he grew up across the street from Jay-Z. Tracy told a story about how he got his sneakers stolen so he shit in a pool to get back at whoever stole them.
Tracy said he went to the middle of the pool in the deep part and went right in there. He said that became a habit and he likes to shit in water now. Tracy said his neighbor had a slip and slide and he got that shut down too.
Tracy said he still shits in water. He said that a woman has to be in the water with him. He said he's a big ol' freak.
Howard said he liked that Tracy went off script in his audio book. Tracy said that Saturday Night Live was very important to him but some people didn't treat him right. He said that revenge is sweet now that he gets to go back and host the show unlike Chris and Sheri.
That led into a Stern Show clip when Howard was interviewing Dave Attell in 2002. Here's some of what I wrote:
Comedian Dave Attell Sits In During The News. 1/23/02. 9:15am
Dave also talked about something that happened to him on an airplane after the 9/11 disaster. Dave looks kind of Arabic even though he's a Jew. He got on this flight and saw that it was getting filled up so he asked a flight attendant if it was a full flight. She told him it was pretty full and walked off. Dave then saw an empty row of seats and changed his seat. Security then came and pulled him off the plane and told him the flight crew were afraid to fly with him. Dave said people have told him to look less threatening than he does. He wonders if he should walk around with a balloon and an ice cream cone or something.
Howard talked to Dave about not getting laid even though he's in show business. Dave said he's really not in show business, he's just a comedian. Howard wondered if any women come up to him after a stand-up show. Dave said those women are freaks. Artie said it's really not that easy getting laid at a comedy show. He had women come up to him at a recent appearance but he wasn't able to get laid.
After that we heard a Stern Show clip from September 9, 1996 when Howard played a Stuttering John interview with Chris Rock. John was asking Chris questions at some event in front of a crowd. Chris took a couple of questions and Chris asked if he was like a Howard Stern guy or something. John said yes and then asked some more questions. Chris was answering them all. They went to break after that.
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After that they played Sam's SNL appearance clip. Sam was talking about the war on drugs and how they've taken away all of the pot. He said they also want them to stop smoking crack.
Next up we heard from Joe Piscopo who said that Sam could say anything and it was brilliant. Joe said he would just sit back and think about how magic the guy was. He said he went way beyond appropriate.
Kevin Nealon also talked about Sam and how he remembered how introspective he was when he saw him. He said he was a different guy than people usually see.
Next up they played a Stern Show clip from November 14, 1986 when Sam was on the Stern Show talking about the SNL appearance. Sam said some of the drug jokes just came to him as he was doing the bit. He said he made it up on the spot. Sam said they got upset with him when he did it live.
Howard told Sam how he got suspended at NBC for doing a bit. He said that he had to be suspended at work so he had to take the train in all the way to work and then go home.
Howard said that Sam is now known as a bad boy. Howard said that it was the best thing for him to go on the show though. Howard said this just tells other people to go on the show and be bad. Howard said he knows one guy who isn't getting a radio show.
They played a Stern show clip from 2009 when Howard interviewed Kevin. Here's some of what I wrote:
Kevin Nealon Visits. 03/05/09. 7:45am
Kevin was asking Howard about Beth and what's going on with them. Howard said that he's been with Beth for 8 years now. Kevin asked about having kids. Howard said that Beth has no desire to be a mother, she mothers him instead. Howard said that she would be a terrific mother but they have spent time talking about it and they really don't want to have kids. Kevin said that he did want to be a father so that's why he has a 2 year old now. That's how his book came about too.
Howard asked Kevin about the kid and if he was getting upset that she wasn't paying attention to him. Kevin said that he loves the kids so much that he's really not like that. Kevin said that he wants the kid to have anything he wants. He said that he and his wife still have fun together though so things are good.
Gary had a picture of Kevin's wife so he showed that to Howard. Howard said that she is attractive and she has a very nice body. Kevin said that the picture was probably before the baby. Then he told Howard that she was actually 9 months pregnant in that picture.
Kevin said that he was going to do a pilot for a show one time and his wife, before she was his wife, was in the dressing room. Kevin said that he asked the make up person if a single guy could adopt a child. He was serious about that but he was also trying to get the woman's attention. He said that she perked up and they got to know each other after that. Howard wrapped up with Kevin a short time later and gave him some more plugs for his book and TV show. He said that he might go see him at Caroline's this weekend too.
Then they played a Stern Show clip from February 22, 1989 where Howard interviewed Harry Shearer. In the clip Howard was talking to Harry about leaving SNL. Harry said he got out of there and he did get out of there with money. He said he worked with Lorne Michaels and with Dick Ebersol. Robin said she was excited when she heard Harry was going to be on the show. She thought that the show could live again if he was on.
That led into a Stern Show interview clip from 1998. Here's some of what I wrote:
Norm MacDonald And Artie Lange Visit. 01/08/1998. 9:30am
After the break Howard had Norm MacDonald come in. He had to ask him to put out his cigarette though. Norm said that it's really tough to quit smoking but it's even tougher to start after not smoking. Howard ended up talking about Sonny Bono dying after hitting a tree and how weird it was when Cher was in the paper crying about it when she used to bad mouth him in the news all the time.
Howard asked Norm about getting fired from Saturday Night Live. He heard that he was on Letterman last night talking about it. He told Norm that the shining light on that show was his news segment and the rest of the show just blows. Norm said it turns out Howard was completely wrong. Howard said he always knows when to tune in to hear norm, at 5 minutes to 12. He asked how the firing went down.
Norm said he was out in Los Angeles during the Christmas holiday when he got the call. Howard interrupted to take a call from a guy who said he knows that Norm was with Elle McPherson. The guy said he knows a guy who heard Elle talking about how bad Norm was in bed. Howard figured Norm wouldn't even deny the bad-in-bed story. The guy said that Norm was like Quick Draw McGraw and when he pulled down his pants he looked like a woman.
Howard got back to Norm's SNL story and said that he really was the best news guy on the show. He asked Norm what happened when he got the phone call. Norm said he spent some time with his son out there and forgot what he was talking about. Norm said it was kind of a sad time because Chris Farley had just died. Howard figured that wasn't a big shock but Norm said it really was a shock to him. Howard said it couldn't have been a shock after knowing what that guy was into.
Howard asked Norm about the funeral for Chris Farley and how that went. Norm talked about that a little bit and told Howard about some of the people who showed up there. He said he was shaken up quite a bit by that death. He's never really had someone he really likes die like that. He said Chris was one of those guys who was a good hearted guy. Howard said if he was high, he'd be the same way. Howard asked Norm if David Spade showed up to the funeral. Norm didn't see him there and figured he was just shaken up by the whole thing. Howard asked who else was there. He asked about Elle McPherson but Norm was ignoring that. Norm said that Chris Rock was at the funeral and Howard heard he was crying like a woman there. Norm said he wasn't crying himself but that's because he has trouble crying.
Howard got back to the story about Norm getting fired from SNL. Norm said he started hearing things about how they wanted to make changes over there from different people who work there. He was told it wasn't looking good for him and that they might be letting him go. He said some of the guys who worked there, like Frank Sebastiano, were telling him that things might not work out. Norm said he figured it was just Frank talking and things would be fine. Norm said things never looked good for him and he didn't think much of it. Then he got back this week and the guys told him to call this guy Don Ohlmyer who's the President of NBC. Norm said he heard that Don told Lorne Michaels that he wanted him off the show. Howard figured Lorne was lying and he was actually the one who wanted him off the show.
Norm couldn't believe that Lorne would want him off the show. Howard said that guy runs the show though, so he has to be the guy who makes that decision. Howard figured Norm was blind to all of that. Norm couldn't believe that Lorne didn't want him there and it had to be that Don Ohlmyer guy. Norm said he called Don and he was told that he didn't want him doing Weekend Update anymore. Norm said he was told that Update was dragging down the show so they wanted him out. He told them that if they wanted him to be better, he couldn't do it. He asked Don if the decision was coming from him or not. Don took the blame but it sounded like he was taking the blame for other people.
Howard told Norm that if he goes up against SNL doing a show of his own, he'll have Norm on to do a Weekend Update on that. Norm said that he doesn't have a problem with Don Ohlmyer but Howard found that hard to believe. He said the guy called him and told him he wasn't funny. Norm said the guy has gone through a lot of crap in his career and he figures the guy isn't that bad. Howard asked Norm if he wants him to call Don Ohlmyer and ask for his job back. Norm said that would be fine. He said his assistant might have his phone number.
They played an interview segment from 1998 when Howard talked to David Spade. Here's some of what I wrote:
David Spade Comes In. 1/28/98. 8:45am
David Spade came in to hang out and plug a few things today. David was one of Chris Farley's best friends and everyone was surprised that he didn't show up at the funeral. Howard was wondering about that also so he tried to find out why. David kind of avoided answering it directly a couple of times. He explained how he and Chris had pretty much gone their separate ways in the past couple of years. He hated to see Chris doing what he was doing to himself. David also said that he thinks Chris had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Chris did some strange things when they worked together. David said that Chris would have to touch the ground a certain number of times before doing a scene. David thinks that Chris drank heavily for attention. Howard had to take a break in the middle of the interview.
After that they went to break.
After that they played a clip from May 29, 1998 where Robin was reading the news story about Phil Hartman being killed by his wife. Robin said they found the kids wandering around in the house. Robin said they found both Phil and his wife in the house dead. Howard said he's surprised she didn't kill the kids too. Howard said that you don't tell your wife you're leaving and then go to sleep. Howard said he must have been crazy to do that.
Robin said that Phil did a lot of stuff in his career. Howard said he did a lot of bad movies. Robin said that he was a great voice man and did a lot of commercials and voices for The Simpsons. Robin had some audio of him doing some voices for The Simpsons. Robin had some audio of Harry Shearer talking about Phil too.
Robin had some audio of Phil Hartman that she had Howard play too. Howard said the best interview with Phil was the one he did for E!.
After that we heard from Jim Belushi about Phil. Jim said he loved the guy and they had some good laughs together. He said it was a terrible tragedy that happened and it didn't need to happen.
We also heard from David Spade who said that Phil was a great guy and that was a real shock when it happened. He said it was tragic and tough to handle. He said he was in shock but the guy was a great guy.
Next up they played some of Howard's E! interview with Phil Hartman. In the clip Howard said Phil might be the only guy worth tuning in for. Howard said they are not up to his caliber on the show. Phil jokingly said that he agrees. Howard said he thinks that Phil is the only name that's known on the show. Phil said they've had good ratings this season so it's doing very well. Howard said he had the chance to join the cast in 1986 but he turned it down because his second marriage was failing. Phil said he didn't want to move to New York from Sherman Oaks. He said he loves the valley.
Howard told Phil he would have thrown his wife out the window if that's what was going on with him. Phil said he wasn't actually offered a job. He said Jon Lovitz went on the show and he could have asked him to get him on the show but he wanted to save his marriage. Phil said he wanted to get out of Hollywood after that didn't work out.
Howard asked Phil if he's hard to get along with. Phil said that he is. He said he was married at 21 and then 30. Phil said he thinks he knows it all and he marries women who get emotional and hysterical and he thinks they're insane. He said he hasn't owned his own insanity yet so he doesn't understand that. Phil said he's passive aggressive too. He said that he's with a woman now who won't take that kind of bull. Howard said she's there and they will meet her later in the program. Phil said she brought him out of a typical male mindset.
Howard asked Phil if he has a lot of people coming on to him. Phil said he does have a lot and the temptation is always there. Howard said this was fascinating.
After that they played a Stern Show interview segment from 2004 when Rob visited. Here's some of what I wrote:
Comedian Rob Schneider Comes In. 02/12/04. 9:05am
Rob talked about his wife and how she's always going to Brazil. Howard read that Rob gets really depressed when she's away from him. Howard thought he read that he said something pretty wacky about how much he misses her when she's away. Rob said that line was actually from a movie though. Rob's wife is only 21 years old so Howard said that the only problem is that Rob is 39. Rob said that he doesn't tell anyone that she's married to Rob Schneider because she doesn't want people to treat her differently.
Howard asked Rob about this new movie ''50 First Dates'' and why Adam is stuck on Drew Barrymore. Rob just laughed and told Howard about the movie. He said it's really funny and Drew is good in the part she plays. Howard asked him if he plays Deuce Bigalow in the movie. Rob said he wanted to but he couldn't do that.
Howard talked to Rob about the people he used to work with on Saturday Night Live. Rob was there when a lot of successful people were there. Rob told Howard that he and Adam Sandler should make up and get together on the show. Howard said that Adam is pissed at him because he didn't like a few of his movies. Howard said they do play a couple of his comedy bits once in a while though.
After that they played a Stern Show clip where Sarah talked about her meeting with President Obama.
Sarah Silverman Visits. 03/10/11. 7:55am
Howard asked Sarah about being in a meeting with President Obama. Sarah said she did have a meeting with him for like 3 minutes. Howard asked if it was in a private room. She said it was in a hotel and He was walking through a hallway. She said it wasn't a real meeting. She said that it was something that they set up for her just so He could thank her for the video that she made. She said they wanted her to write a story about it for the paperback and they reached out to the White House to use the picture. It turns out they didn't let her use the story because it was a private meeting. Sarah said that it was just her with a couple of dudes and President Obama. Sarah said that He said something nice to her but she knows that He had no idea who she was. She said that Obama told her that He turns down the volume when his girls come into the room. He joked about how she helped him win Florida.
Sarah said she was so nervous that she wasn't sure what to bring up. She said that she was going to ask about Darfur but she just ended up saying a goofy ''Hi!'' Sarah said that she ended up talking about movies and how she hates Pixar movies. She also told him that she's going to be naked in a movie that's coming out. She said she was so embarrassed by that. She said that He said in a very gracious way that they'd have to send him a copy of that. Howard asked if He high fived her when she said that. She said it's really weird but He talks really black in private.
Howard said she basically choked in front of the President. She said she was totally star struck. She said that He gave her a hug and He was rock hard body wise. Howard said He might be working out too much. Howard said that in a 3 minute drive by you can't bring up anything intellectual.
Howard asked if they did a background check or anything like that. She said they didn't. She said they just did this quick meeting thing and it was just her and Kevis guy. Howard said that it's good that He was able to break up the awkward conversation.
Sarah told Howard about Kevis calling and telling her that He could get this meeting set up. She said she took a shower and washed her hair and then she got a note saying it might not happen. She said she thought He was doing something to her just to get her to wash her hair. She said that it all ended up working out though.
Next up they played a Stern Show clip where Howard talked to Will about his marriage. Here's some of what I wrote:
Actor Will Ferrell Comes In. 11/13/03. 7:55am
Howard talked to Will about the money he was making on Saturday Night Live. He said he was only making about $350,000 on that show. Howard brought up the movies he's done since then. Howard said that they're saying that ''Elf'' should do pretty well over the holidays. He figured that Will had to have made more that $3 million for that movie but Will said he didn't make that much. Howard said he's not getting the big bucks that they think he's getting. Now that he's got a hit movie though, he should be able to get some good money. Will and Howard discussed all of the people that are involved with Will's career.
Will told Howard about how his family responds to all of this stuff. Howard also thought that Will seemed a bit depressed but Will jokingly told him he has a quaalude problem. Howard took some phone calls after that. A couple of people asked him about doing an ''Old School 2'' and stuff like that. Howard told Will to just be funny in all of the movies he does. He suggested not doing any dramas. One guy asked Will to please wake up because he's on the Howard Stern show.
Howard asked Will if he thought about what Woody Allen did when he was working for him. Will said when you are asked to do a Woody Allen movie, you just do it. Howard read some quotes from Will about Woody and he didn't seem so thrilled with the guy. Howard threw in a few more phone calls. Jeff the Drunk called in and asked Will how many inches he's packing. Will said that he's not packing all that much. Howard said he's impressed with how he's willing to get naked in his movies. He was talking about ''Old School'' and how funny it was when he was running down the street naked in that movie. Jeff also asked him if he's ever had a threesome. He said that he's never done that and he hasn't had that many women. He said he didn't lose his virginity until he was in college. Howard spent a couple more minutes with Will and then wrapped up the interview.
Next up we heard Colin Quinn talking about Jim Breuer and this fake rape bit he would do at the show. He said that Tracy Morgan came in and joined in on it. He'd be the watch out for the fake rape and it was one of the most brilliant things he'd ever seen.
That led into another Stern Show clip where Jim Breuer talked about the fake rape thing. Here's some of what I wrote in 2010:
Jim Breuer Visits. 06/07/10. 8:40am
Howard said it sounds like he's got a good book in him. He said he might be ready for that. Howard said it sounds like everyone on SNL has a broken ego. Jim said that is the way it is over there. Howard said he wishes that he could have said more about Jim's book in the blurb but he just wanted like one line. Howard said Jim tells stories there that are 10 times funnier than they would be on SNL. He said that Goat Boy story he told one time was like that.
Jim told Howard they had a lot of fun at SNL. He said they would hang out with Will Ferrell, Colin Quinn and other guys like that. Jim said that Will is always in character and it's hard. Howard said they had Will on the show just one time and he seems kind of reserved when he's not in character. Jim said he would got into the writer's room and Will would be under the desk and not talking. The guys would tell him he was in character.
Jim said that Will was always playing that character Ron Burgundy. He said he used to do that cheerleader thing and he would stay in that character all week. It wasn't like that in the beginning though. As time went on it got worse. He would stay in character for the whole week. Jim said that they would tell him to clean up and shave and get out of character. Then the next day he'd show up in character again.
Jim said that Will would come around pretending to sell art so they decided that they'd get into character. There was a time when Will was doing this artist character so Colin suggested that they bring him into their room and gang rape him. Jim said that was their mission so they tried to break him. Jim said they lured him into the room and threw him on the ground and Colin was pulling his pants off. Jim said he took his pants down and started rubbing his underwear on Will's face. Tracy was in the doorway saying ''Save some of that for me!'' He said the whole time Will was saying ''Oh, the horror!'' and asking for someone to help him. He would not break character. Colin was punching him in the rear end and he didn't break character.
Jim said they did that all night long that night. He said they brought him to the back elevators and put him in the dumpster. Jim told him to ask Colin about it next time he's on.
Next up they went right into a Tracy Morgan interview where he talked about that fake rape thing. Here's some of what I wrote:
Tracy Morgan Visits. 07/22/10. 8:20am
Howard said that Jim Breuer told a great story about faking a rape with Will Ferrell. Tracy said they'd do that every day over there. He said they did that because he was always in character.
Howard said Tracy is performing at Caroline's on Broadway this weekend. He said this is a rare opportunity to see him.
They ended SNL On Stern after that. The special was over around 11:45am.