|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show talking about how he was up at 3 in the morning and he's ready to go this morning. He said he didn't get a lot of sleep though. He said he was watching True Blood and went to bed around 10. He said it was way too late but he was still up at 3.
Howard said he had father's day yesterday too. Howard noticed that Robin's voice was sounding scratchy. Robin said she didn't have a problem. She said she's not sick. Howard said she's been running around too much. Howard asked if she's doing too much stuff. Robin said she has things to do. Howard said she used to relax but now she's jet setting.
Howard said he can tell when she's been out just by her voice. Robins said she's a little dehydrated. Howard said he may have to have a conversation with her about that. Howard asked Fred if he thinks she's out too much. Fred said it's the flying that can do that to you. Robin said she was out in Aspen but it was very dry out there. Howard said Beth told him that she ran off on Thursday right after the interview they did. Robin said she was going from party to party out there too. She said the next thing she knew it was 2:30 in the morning on Saturday.
Howard said he wouldn't be doing that. Robin said there was a time when he was. Howard said he didn't do that even when he was dating. Howard said he has no desire to do that. He said it's like torture. Howard said he can get it if you're trying to get laid but Robin isn't even trying to do that. Robin said she was trying to get home by midnight but it didn't happen.
Howard asked Robin where she's going next week. Robin said she's not going anywhere. Howard asked when she got out to Aspen. She said it was about 9:30 their time. Howard asked when she did things out there. She was saying she was out until 2:30 which was actually 4:30 her time. Howard didn't like what he was hearing. Howard asked how long she slept on the plane. She said it may have been an hour or so. Howard said it's too much and she has to slow down. Howard said he doesn't want to sound like his mom but he thinks this is too much for her.
Robin said that she just needs a little water this morning. Howard didn't believe it. Robin said that she'll be fine in 24 hours.
Robin said she ran into Allison Janney out in Aspen. Howard worked with her in Private Parts. Howard said he worked with her and helped her with her acting. Robin said she's going to be on Top Chef as a sous chef. Howard said they should be getting a call from Mark Cronin today about the wedding registry thing. They also have David Spade and Lisa Lampanelli coming in today. Howard said they tried to find out what's available at Hermes for Mark Cronin.
Howard said the movie that bombed at the box office was this Jonah Hex movie with Megan Fox. Howard said he didn't know much about the character in the movie but heard that it was a comic book character. Howard spent a minute talking about how lame the character sounded to him. He said they have to stick to the characters he grew up with. He said he saw Richard Roeper talking about Megan Fox and saying she's like a modern day Raquel Welch but he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Howard said no one is saying that she's a good actress.
Howard said that he's glad that Karate Kid tailed off and ''only'' made $29 million. Howard said he's tired of that family being so successful. He said he's not taking it out on the kid but his parents are the ones he's sick of.
Howard said the gulf oil mess continues to be a mess. He said that they found a document that says BP may be lying about how much oil is spilling into the gulf. He said they now say that it might be as high as 100,000 barrels a day instead of the 50,000 that they were claiming. Howard said that the original was 1000 barrels and now they're saying it's a lot higher than that.
Howard said the other question is if Obama should be out golfing with Biden for 4 hours. He said the head of BP was out yachting too. He said Obama really shouldn't be out golfing. He said he should stay at his desk and just try to think about a solution. He said he's the President and he shouldn't be out golfing. Howard said Bush was a disaster with that stuff. He said even Bush gave up golf when they declared war in Iraq though. He said Obama should do the same.
Howard said that his buddy invented something called Speed Golf where you run between holes. He said that would be a work out. Robin said that isn't going to catch on in the world of golf.
Howard said he saw something positive in the paper. He said Michael Jackson's kids were in there and they were carrying on about how it's been a year since he died. Howard said Jackson was a freak and he thinks that he was a male homosexual who could never come to grips with that. Howard said that's just what he thinks. Howard said the kids are finally going to school now. He said they're going to private school but they will be integrated with other kids. He said that is a very healthy thing and he thinks that's a good thing for them. Howard said they will be going to a private school in September according to the article.
Howard said the kids are still trying to come to grips with the death of their father. Howard said the daughter has pictures of her daddy all over her room. He said this will be good for them to get out of the house.
Howard said Lady Gaga went to a Yankee game and she was running around in bra and panties in a leather jacket. He said he gets she wants to do that on stage but he doesn't get it when you're out in public at a game like that. He said she's had like 10 number one songs in a row and she doesn't need to do promotion. He said it seems very desperate.
Howard took a call from a guy, Balls, who asked if there's anyone he'd like to interview before he retires. Howard said no. He said he doesn't care. Howard said that he's been around for 30 years now and he's fine with whoever comes on. He said he has David Spade and Chris Rock coming in today. The caller was laughing nervously as he was talking. He said he was just nervous.
Howard said he was going to play a Jeff the drunk game with the guy but he hated the game last week. He said he had another one to play too. Howard said Gary wanted him to stick with that one but he doesn't think he can. Howard played a clip of them asking Jeff what he likes better, Sunday or Monday. Howard said no one cares. He said he thinks that he likes Monday better. He was right. Jeff was asked ''Leno or Letterman'' and Jeff said Letterman. Howard said maybe they do care about this game.
Howard asked if he wanted to play the Gary the Retard job game instead. He played an example of Richard asking Gary what you call someone who plays Football. Gary says ''I don't know, retarded!?'' Howard said he'd play whatever Balls wants to play. Balls wanted to play the Jeff game.
Howard played the Gary game clip and had one where Richard asked Gary what you call a hockey player. Gary didn't know. Richard asked him what you call someone who represents a criminal in court. Gary said ''Attorney, dummy.'' Howard said he's apparently retarded occasionally.
Balls changed his mind and said he'd play that game. Howard played the question and it was Richard asking Gary what you call someone who works on electrical wires in a house. Balls said he wouldn't know. Gary said ''Electrician.'' Balls lost the game since it was just one question he was playing. Howard said he would send him into a bonus round.
Howard played the next question which was ''If you act in movies, what are you called?'' Balls said that Gary would not know. He was right. Gary said ''I don't know, I'm retarded.'' Howard gave Balls his $711 prize.
Howard played another interview and the guy was saying that it was God that caused the oil spill. The guy said he liked that because eventually he might be the only one left in the world. Howard said he used to think like that in the radio world. He used to hope that everyone in radio would lose their voice and he'd be the only one left.
Little Mikey wrote a song parody about Gary's sleeping too. Howard played some of that and then some more of Sal and Richard's interviews about Gary falling asleep. There were many people who thought that Gary should have been fired. Howard said that Gary continues to be mad at Scott DePace over this. Howard said there are people who think that he should be the one to blame. Howard said he takes some of the responsibility for that. He said that he is the one who played it on the air.
Gary said his point is that it never should have gotten to Howard. Howard said he's right about that. He said that Doug and Scott came to him and told him about it and he had to play it. Howard said Gary is right about Scott though. He never admits he's wrong. He said he started blaming Jon Hein during the Wrap Up Show.
Scott came in and Howard told him he's kind of a creep. He played a Wrap Up Show clip where Scott was telling Gary that Jon and Will came back and didn't tell him not to play it for Howard.
Howard asked Scotty why he's like that. Scott said he was just pointing out what he saw. Howard said it's really his own fault for playing it. He said that he immediately accepted the tape when Scott and Doug brought it to him. Scott said this was Doug's idea in the first place. He said Doug was the one who put the tape in and recorded it. Howard said that he took responsibility for this and that's what Scott should be doing.
Howard told Scott to stop blaming other people and throwing them under the bus. He said he should just accept responsibility. Howard said he's not sure why Gary is so bummed about some of the stuff Scott was swaying. Gary said Scott was saying that he wouldn't have done it if he knew he was going to take all of the blame.
Gary said the more time he spends with Scott the less excuses he's finding for why he is the way he is. Scott said that he did betray Gary but he had plenty of times when he defended Jason when he was saying stuff about him. Gary said Scott can't be trusted. He's a lying cheat and he can't be trusted. Scott said that they've done hidden camera stuff before. Gary said he can't trust Scott and that's the end of it.
Howard told Scott that his problem is that he says ''but'' when he's accepting responsibility. Scott said that this was Doug's fault too. Doug got on the mic and told him to just accept responsibility. Gary came into the studio and said that Scott lacks any integrity. He said they sat down and had a conversation when they first started taping there. He said they talked about never using any tape from his isolated camera for any reason. Scott said it was Doug's idea.
Scott said he's sorry but Gary said he doesn't believe it and he doesn't care anymore. He said Scott is inhuman and he doesn't mean it.
Scott said that Gary should stop bringing this up if he's over it. Gary said that he didn't bring it up. Brian Phelan brought i up when he asked if they should turn the camera on. Gary said that Scott keeps saying ''but'' when he's apologizing. Scott said he said he betrayed Gary and he's not sure what else he's supposed to say.
Scott said he did betray Gary. Then he said that Doug also betrayed him. He threw Will Murray and Jon Hein into that mix too. He said they all saw the tape and they didn't try to stop him. Gary said that Scott is all about himself and it's that way in his own life and at work. Scott said he doesn't know anything about his personal life.
Gary said that Scott is selfish and he's sure that he's not the only one who has said that to him. Howard took a call from a guy who asked why Gary is mad at Scott when Gary is the one who fell asleep. Gary said he called Howard and apologized for falling asleep at work. That's not something that happens to him at work. Gary said he felt really bad about it. He didn't try to blame anyone else for it when he spoke to Howard. He told Scott that's how you take blame.
Scott said he apologized to Gary off the air. Gary said he did but then he went on the Wrap Up Show and gave all of those excuses.
Scott said this is bullshit. He said he left work early the week before and it was all approved by Doug but they thew him under the bus anyway. Gary said that they weren't trying to throw him under the bus. Gary said he didn't go and tell Howard or anything when he found out he left a day early for vacation. Gary said he threw him under the bus after Scott pulled out that tape of him. He said Scott is dumb.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Gary has ever fallen asleep during a Mets game. Howard said Gary hasn't fallen asleep before. He said this was just a one time thing. The caller said that Gary was probably asleep the day he was up there for his tour. He said he signed his name on a ball for him and he left out the R in Gary so it reads ''Baba Booey, Gay Dell'Abate.''
Howard said that Scott isn't coming off well in this. Gary said he doesn't come across well whenever he gets on a mic.
Howard took another call from a guy who said Gary was being a baby bitch about this. Gary said he's embarrassed by this and it was a trust thing. He said Scott fucked him. He said it's like he bent him over the desk, pulled his pants down and fucked him. Scott said that other people have done that to him too. Howard told Scott he has to stop throwing other people into this thing. He said that Scott isn't taking full responsibility and he's throwing everyone else under the bus.
Robin said that Scott was the one who sat with Gary and told him he wouldn't do this and he still isn't taking responsibility. Howard said this is like a guy gang raping a woman and the guy goes into court and tells the judge that everyone else did it too. He said he has to take some of that responsibility. Scott said he is.
Doug was telling Scott what he did and how he apologized to Gary. He said he could do the same thing and just get over it. Gary said he likes how he's trying to drag Jon Hein into all of this. Doug said that Jon is such a good friends but he didn't do anything to stop it. Howard said that he shouldn't be trying to ruin his relationship with Gary. Scott said he's not trying to do that. Howard said he's really a weasel. Scott said he knows that he's going to get email about him being a scumbag but that's the opposite of what he reads on SternFanNetwork.
Fred said that Gary did them a favor by letting them put that camera on him all the time. Scott said Gary was doing Howard TV a favor, not a personal favor.
Irish John called in and said they should put a shock collar on Gary and have the Howard TV guys keep him awake. John said that anyone could have walked by his office and caught him sleeping. Gary said they could have but they didn't. He said that this is all about Scott's promise to him to not use any tape. He said that's what this is about, not about the sleeping part.
Howard told Scott that he should just take responsibility and stop blaming other people. Howard told Scott he should have told Doug he made that promise to Gary. Scott said maybe he did. Howard said that he has to stop blaming everyone else and take responsibility. Howard said Scott is guilty and he has to stop bringing up Jon Hein and the other guys. He said it's up to them to deal with Gary.
Howard asked Gary if he feels any better for Scott. Gary said that Scott did apologize but then screwed him. He said they'll figure it out eventually. Howard had to go to break after that.
David and Chris came in and Howard said he was laughing already. Chris said that Artie was still gone. David said he could see the cobwebs on the chair. Chris said they'll find out that Howard is behind the whole heroin thing. Chris said that Howard is like on a Johnny Carson like schedule working like 2 days a week. He said that Carson was lax and that's when Leno took over. He said that Howard hired the one guy who could take over and he got him all addicted to heroin so he wouldn't be able to do that.
Howard said Chris is great coming in on the attack like that. Howard said he did that to Leno and Letterman too. Howard said Chris went on Letterman first and brought up the cheating thing with him. Howard said Chris was very funny with that. He said he thought it was great the way he went on and attacked like that. Robin said Chris did that when Howard was getting married too.
Howard asked Chris if he's still married. Chris said he is. He said he used to admire David Spade for what he did even after he had the kid. He said that David is always with hot chicks even to this day. He said the girls who are with him seem to be interested in him too. Howard said he saw a chick who went out with David and she was the hottest chick he's ever seen. David said that was Nikki. Chris said that he knows her. He said David still has chicks who pull down there panties for him and you know you're not getting married when that still happens.
Howard asked Spade what he thinks about Chris dating and how that would work. Spade said he would probably end up getting married again. Howard said Chris would be just like him. He said he'd get married too. Spade said he's not a pussy frenzy like Howard said he was.
Howard said Chris' problem is like the problem he had. He said Chris would be on a pussy frenzy. Chris said he probably would. Howard said Chris would be alone for a little while but then he'd want to settle down. Howard asked Chris why they behave like that. Chris didn't know.
Howard asked Spade if he's dating this Padma Lakshmi chick. David said he's not. Howard said she just had a kid so he doesn't need that. Howard asked Spade how he lets them know not to get too serious. Spade goes from girl to girl and Howard anted to know how he does it. Spade said he will date for a couple of months so it's not like it's a day to day thing. David said it's usually the girls who figure out that he's not that great of a prize.
Chris said that the standards are lower. Spade said the girls usually get fed up with him. He said he's very mellow and the girls want some drama. He said he doesn't get emotional. He said he used to be more lovey dovey but he's not that way anymore. He said the girls get annoyed with that and they're looking for a fight. He said they want him to care and he doesn't show any emotion. David said he can stay at the same level with a girl for 2 years and they start to wonder.
Howard asked David if he ever tells a girl he loves them. David said he probably doesn't. David said that most girls are too good for him. He said that Julie Bowen was one of them. Howard said that someone asked if he was really going to leave his wife alone with Spade one night. Howard said he wasn't worried about it.
Howard and Spade were talking about how they were going to go out to dinner but they were pretty sure that Chris wasn't going to make it. Howard said that they're inviting Chris and his wife but they have a feeling he won't show up. Howard said he should talk to his wife and tell her that he's a human being and he's not going to do anything wrong at dinner. Chris' wife doesn't like Howard for some stuff he said like 20 years ago. Howard said he thinks that she should come.
Chris said he has a complaint. He said they were doing this movie ''Grown Ups'' and they were having a ball doing it. Chris said one of the reasons was that they were up early listening to Howard every day. He said they were listening to the show every single day. He said that only 12 people have the show so that was a treat for them. Chris said they listened to the show for a month or two. He said that the Denise Richards show was one of the best ever. He said he wanted to marry Denise after that interview. Howard said that Richie Sambora is back with her now, he thinks. Chris said that interview was just amazing. Howard asked Spade if he dated Denise. Spade said he didn't.
Spade was standing up so Robin asked what was up with that. Chris said he has back problems. Spade said he has a special chair he has to use.
Howard told Chris to go on with his story. Chris said that they loved Howard's show for that month they were listening. Chris said that Denise Richards interview was just amazing again. Howard said she was gorgeous too. Chris said that Howard went on one of his breaks and he didn't air the old stuff. It was this History of Stern shit and he said that no one loves that shit. Chris said that they went over everything and no one can love that stuff. Chris said he called Howard about that and Howard thought it was a prank call. Chris said he told Howard this shit sucks. Howard hung up on him. Chris said no one likes that shit. Chris said that show was the only thing making him happy and then they did that old history shit.
Howard said he wanted to explain. He said Chris called early in the morning and he heard some guy saying this fuckin' sucked and told him to get back on the air. He thought it was a prank call. He said he told Beth that he knows it wasn't Chris Rock. He said Chris wouldn't have told him he sucked. Chris said that they can't air that shit anymore. He said everyone knows that story and they don't need to hear it.
Howard asked the guys how this movie thing works. He asked who wrote it. Adam Sander and Fred Wolf wrote it. Howard asked how they get the call to do the movie. Chris and Spade talked about how Kevin James was one of the other guys and Howard asked if that part could have been played by Chris Farley. They said it could have but Adam just wrote the movie recently so it wasn't written just for Chris.
Howard asked if they say yes immediately or read the script first. Chris said he just said yes. Howard asked how they negotiate the money thing. Chris said there is a slight negotiation. He said he's already on ''yes'' so they just have to talk about money. Spade said that Adam asked him to do the movie in the summer and he said he would and he knew it wasn't going to be some horrible part. Spade said he would have done it even if it wasn't great money. Chris said they were paid well though.
Howard asked the guys what they got paid. They weren't saying exactly but Chris thinks that Kevin James got paid more than him. He said he's fine with that too. Howard said Colin Quinn probably did the movie for the free food. Howard asked about Rob Schneider and how much he got. Howard said he's been in just about every Sandler movie. Spade said that they've all had ups and downs and when you go into this kind of thing the money isn't that big of a deal. He said they had to go into this thing heavily loaded so they can compete with the summer movies.
Howard asked if anyone hit on Salma Hayek during the shoot. They didn't think anyone did. Howard asked how long the shoot was. They said it was four months long. Howard said they must have had a good time doing it.
Spade said he was the only one who wasn't living at the lake house. Spade said he stayed in Boston. He said he wasn't getting laid out there. He said he was just hanging out and sleeping.
Howard asked Chris what happened with him when Kobe Bryant got mad at him. Chris asked if they just told him that in his ear. Howard said they talked about it on the show not too long ago. Howard said he knows that Chris is very vocal when he's talking about the game. He asked if he was taunting Kobe on the bench. Chris said he was just talking to Spade and he's not sure why they thought he was bad mouthing him. Chris said he got scared when they came over to talk to him. Spade said he thinks that they may have been joking around with them during that whole thing.
Howard asked what this movie is going to mean to their careers. Chris said that if it does well it's good for all of them. If it fails they're going to blame Sandler. He said it's all on him if it fails. Howard asked if they own a piece of the film. Chris said that he gets a tiny bit. Spade said ''Really?'' like he wasn't getting a piece of the action. Chris said that bonus is much later on. He said that it's bonuses and things like that.
Howard asked why they don't discuss this stuff ahead of time. Chris said he's more worried about people liking the movies he's in. He said he'd rather just take less money and be in a good movie that people like.
Spade told Howard that they got to ad lib a lot of their lines in this movie. He said that Rock got to do a lot of lines differently and they had fun doing that. Chris said they all knew they had to bring their A-game to this thing because The Hangover had just come out when they started to film this thing. He said he wants to have a career after this so they had to do the best they could.
Howard asked Chris and Spade about working on SNL with Sandler. They actually shared an office together. Howard asked if they were surprised that Adam became a movie star. Chris said that Adam worked harder than anyone there. He said that Sandler was always in the office writing. Howard asked Chris if he wrote a lot. Chris said he did but it was another time in his life. He said he got discovered on a tape called Comedy's Dirties Dozen. He said he was on the tape with Dice, Jackie and a bunch of other guys. Chris said there was a guy who saw him in that and he got the audition on SNL from that. He said that he knew Sandler before that though. He said he was a great stand-up comic at the time. They said that it was getting to the point that people were just yelling shit out during his shows though. It was out of control.
Howard said he's amazed at how Chris has control over his audience. He said it's amazing that he has that power. Chris said he was really washed up back then after he was off SNL. He said he had nothing going on in 1993-1995 or so. He was out of the business at the time. Chris said he used to do Politically Incorrect with Pat Boone and people like that. He said his career was over. Chris said that the SNL guys were always cool to him. Spade said that's because they all go through the same shit.
Howard asked Chris what motivated him to get going after all of that. Chris said he had that SNL credit so he had some stand-up work. He said his goal was to become Richard Jeni or Dom Irrera or someone like that. He said that he wanted to be like those guys making some good money doing stand-up. He said he would have loved to have lived like George Wallace. He said Wallace does his gigs and flies all over the world doing his stuff. Chris said he was so out of show business at the time though. Howard said that Chris created that masterpiece special ''Bring the Pain'' after that.
Spade told a story about Lara Flynn Boyle and how he was dating her. He said they were near the end of the relationship at the time and Lara wasn't even talking to him at that point. He said they went to the Chris Rock show and she was standing up and clapping about all of the jokes that were about small dicks and things like that. Chris said that anything that was a burn on him she'd stand up for.
Howard asked the guys if they ever stand on stage and think about how dumb it is standing there and telling jokes to people, or do they love it. Spade said he loves it. He said he does alright but he's not like Chris Rock. David said he doesn't put in a year straight of doing the same show. He said he can't even do 5 shows in a week. He said it turns into Groundhog Day for him when he does that.
Howard said that Don Rickles told him that he just wings it when he does his act. The guys found that hard to believe. Spade told a story about Chris Farley going to see Rickles and some of the jokes that Rickles was doing with him. They all got some laughs out of that and said that Rickles really is a genius.
Howard asked Spade how he got on SNL. Spade told that story and talked about how Dennis Miller had kind of found him.
Howard said he had to apologize to David over this Time magazine article he wrote about him a few years ago. Spade said Howard was such a dick for that. Howard said he was sorry. Chris didn't believe that Spade had actually written the thing himself. Howard asked Spade if he has anyone writing for him. Spade said he doesn't but he is going to have some guys help him out. Chris said that he has like 5 guys that will help him out with his act. Spade said he has Todd Glass open up for him and he will tell him what he should cut out and what shouldn't be in the act. Spade said he will buy jokes if he sees something really killing. He said he'll pay like $500-1000 for something really good.
Spade said it's hard to do all of these talk shows and do different jokes. Howard said that Chris was on Leno talking about how he had fucked over Conan. Chris said he didn't say that. Howard said that Jay was fired by NBC and he stayed there. He said he should have left the company and gone out to fuck them over when they fired him. He said Jay should have gone to FOX or somewhere else. Chris said that there's no reason to do that though. Chris said that this is very ''white.'' He said that when your boss asks you to do something they think they're just being asked to do it. Chris said that they're being told to do something. He said that Jay was fired. He said he didn't have to leave though. He just sat there and shut the fuck up and waited his time until he signed his next deal. He said that Jay fucked them over again. Chris said that he likes Leno and Conan by the way. He said he thinks that Conan got fucked over by his agent. He said Conan's people should have freaked out when Leno was given that show at 10. Chris said the whole thing was dumb.
Howard said he got a message that they had to leave in 5 minutes. Chris was going to do something and Spade was going to do the Today Show.
Chris said that he thinks that Conan is kind of fucking over George Lopez by doing his show early and taking his spot. Howard said that he doesn't care that much. Chris said that they're shooting these shows in the afternoon or evening so they could show it at anytime. They're not doing them live.
Howard said they were running out of time. He said he knows they had to talk to Spade about something. Robin reminded him about the baby. Spade said that she's turning 2 on August 26th. He said he tried to do the dad thing but it's tough. He said he really had to get going and didn't seem to want to talk about it. Spade said it's a tough situation and it wasn't something that he had planned. He said that it had a ripple effect on his family life and some relationships he had. He said that it was tough. He said that Harper is a sweet kid and he and the baby mama (Jillian Grace) have been cordial all along.
Howard had to wrap up with the guys. Spade was just about walking out of the studio so Howard had to have him sit down. Howard told Spade he was sorry about the way he treated him over that Time Magazine thing. He said that he was really sorry about that and he's starting to see things more clearly these days.
Howard had a clip of Chris on Letterman's show that he had to play before they ended the interview. In the clip Dave had lost his voice and Chris brought that up immediately. Chris said he sounded like an old ass man. He asked Dave if things are alright at home. Then Chris went off on Dave about the things he had going on at work. Chris told Dave he had been in the cave where Dave was at. He said that he just adds on shows when his wife is upset with him.
Howard asked Chris if he knew what he was going to say that night. Chris said he really didn't. He just brought it up on the spot.
Howard said he was going to see Spade on Thursday night. He asked if Chris was going to show up. Chris said he's not sure. Gary told Howard that they're running out of time. Spade was on his way out the door. Howard asked Chris if he was going to join them for dinner or not. Chris wasn't sure. Howard asked if the wife really hates him. Chris said it's just convenient for her to hate him. He said she's just mad at some stuff because you're supposed to be.
Howard asked Chris how he's doing and if he's writing more stand-up. Chris said he is. He said he was at a club about 3 weeks ago doing stand-up in a Brooklyn club. He said that he had fun doing that. He was working on some new material. Chris said that the other comedians are okay with him coming and bumping them. He said that he used to do the same thing and he loved following Sam Kinison after he'd come in and do that. He said that people would walk out and pay their checks as he was doing his thing. He said he goes out and tests this stuff out for 6 months or so before he'll start booking concert dates. Chris said that his agent hates that too. He said he has to like the whole act before he'll book dates. He said he's not like a singer when it comes to that stuff.
Howard said he had fun with this interview. He said he had to wrap up and move on. David was already gone. Howard asked Chris about all of the chicks that David is getting. Chris said it's not that many. He asked how many weekends there are like that's how many chicks David is getting. Howard asked if it's going to get to a point where Spade has to settle down because of his age. Howard said that Spade is working on a TV show for Sandler too. Chris said that Spade has been successful on TV before without Sandler. Howard said he was getting the hi sign saying he had to get going. He wrapped up and gave them some more plugs for the movie ''Grown Ups.'' Chris was still telling them to stop with the History of Howard Stern shit as they were ending it. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and had Mark Cronin on the phone. He gave some history for Mark and how he got started with them back at the channel 9 show. Howard said Mark went out to Hollywood and he had a hit show which was Singled Out. that was his first bit Non-Howard Stern hit. He said he also started a talk show on FX and then The Surreal Life, Flavor of Love, Charm School and some shows like that. Howard said he made a lot of money on the company he started out there. He said he's proud of Mark for what he did out there.
Howard said Mark is getting married for the second time and he got this email from Mark recently. The email was a list of where Mark was registered for his wedding. Howard said Mark is a guy who is so wealthy and he's got things on his list like the Cuisinart Griddler on there. Mark said he likes waffles. Howard said he should be telling people to donate to a charity or something.
Mark said he thinks it's great that Howard did the charity thing and asked for no gifts. Howard said they didn't want any gifts. Mark said that Howard is the only person that he knew that did that. He said rich people get married all the time and they ask for gifts. Howard said if Mark wants a Griddler then he should just go out and buy them. Mark said he can afford them and he can survive just fine without those gifts.
Howard asked how long they've been living together. Mark said he's been living like a bachelor for a long time and they will move in but they would like some nice new things for the new house. Mark said people like to give gifts and it makes them feel good.
Howard said he saw a Hermes caviar serving tray on his list. Mark didn't even know that was on the list. Howard told Mark ''shame on you'' for this. Mark said they have a range of items on the list. Howard asked what he's supposed to get him, this $2,500 caviar serving tray? Mark said they're not looking for specific amounts. Mark said that people really do like to give gifts though.
Howard said Mark is kind of making sense. He told Mark ''fuck you, you making sense bastard.'' Mark said it was very gracious what Howard and Beth did with the charity thing. Howard said Mark is worth upward of $100 million and he thinks that it's just not right. Mark said that did cross his mind. He said it is awkward and he hasn't been a rich guy his whole life. He said he doesn't know if he should pick up every check or not. It's very strange. Howard said he has friends who never reach for even the tip when they go out. He said he has to pay every time.
Howard said Mark has a $100 fork on his Neiman Marcus list. Mark asked Howard to get him that so he can just stab himself in the neck.
Robin asked Mark why he sent that list to Beth but not Howard. Mark said he didn't want to bother Howard with it on his Blackberry or anything. Howard thanked Mark for the call after that and let him go. Howard said he will send him something. He's not sure what. Mark told him to just send a bottle of wine or something. Howard said he has to send something now.
Howard said he had Lisa Lampanelli coming in. The caller said ''Oh god, her again?'' Howard said he loves Lisa. That led to Howard reading some email about Kathy Griffin being on the show last week. There was some hate but a lot of love email for her too.
The caller told Howard he thinks Gary is upset about the sleeping thing because it's a negotiation year and this makes him look bad. Howard said he wasn't even thinking about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what Chris Rock was talking about with the History of Howard Stern sucking. He said it's like the greatest thing in the world. Howard said that special is the single most complimented thing they do there. He said the fans love it. Howard said they hear from the fans and that's what they seem to like. Howard said when they take vacation and play that they love it. Howard said they're working on part 4 now.
The caller said he got pissed at Chris Rock too for taking Jay Leno's side. He said he's supposed to be cool. Howard said he is cool but he has a different opinion than he does. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard asked Lisa if she's nervous about that with a lot of famous people. Lisa said she'd probably tell them that she's a big fan and they wouldn't believe her. She said she doesn't work with a lot of people since it's just her and Mike Morse.
Howard said that Lisa has been tweeting a lot lately (twitter.com/lisalampanelli). He said they're very funny. Lisa said she has to do like two a day at the minimum. She said she has to do that for the young kids. Howard read some of her tweets about Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan. She said she felt bad about the Jackie Chan stuff because she heard from someone claiming to be Jackie asking what was wrong with his movies.
Howard said the jokes seem like stuff she could use in her act. Lisa said that's what she's going to do. She said she has a new special coming up this year and she'll probably use them.
Howard asked Lisa if it's true that she's setting up a wedding registry. Lisa said she is. Howard said that's like Mark Cronin doing it. Lisa said he fans want her to get good China so she set up this registry for that. Lisa said it does help the fans figure out what to buy.
Howard said she must have a lot of stuff with her fiancee. She said they have dishes but they're not that nice. She said that her fiancee didn't bring that much into the house other than 4 gold Beatles records. Lisa said they don't even need this stuff but she would like the nice stuff. She said she had a shower thrown for her and she got some nice stuff there. Lisa said that she invited ''10 fags'' to the shower and they were very generous. She said they will put anything in their mouths too so she was able to feed them crappy food.
Howard asked Lisa if she thinks that the marriage will even happen. Howard said he's not sure it'll actually happen. Howard asked if they did the pre-nup. Lisa said they did and it wasn't so bad. She said that Jimmy Big Balls' family told him to sign anything she put in front of him. Howard said he heard that Jimmy gets nothing until after a year of marriage. Lisa said that's true. She said that she also put him to work on the road and she feels safe with him. She found out what he would be making comparably if he had a job and she's going to give him $50,000 a year to make him want to stay with her. Howard said it's not that much that he'll want to leave her but it's worth sticking with her. Lisa said she is worth $50,000 a year to stick with.
Howard asked if the lawyers screamed at Jimmy for doing the wrong thing. Lisa said he told them that he was in it for love so he would sign anything. Lisa said there is a clause in it that says that if he hits her or becomes a drunk then he gets nothing.
Howard said that Lisa could just claim that he hit her and get out of paying. Lisa said they had it set up so there has to be proof.
Howard said he's heard that this marriage is causing some problems with Bubba the Love Sponge. Lisa said that Howard told her not to invite him but she should invite Bubba. Lisa said that she got a text from Bubba with his address and thought that she was going to invite him based on what he heard on Howard's show. Lisa said that she did invite Bubba after he told her that he'd give her a gift of $1,500.
Howard read that Lisa is going through menopause now. Lisa said it just started and wanted to know how long Robin was a cunt for. Robin said she wasn't. Howard said that Robin didn't even dry up. Lisa said that she's having the hot flashes. She said she feels like she's on fire. She said she gets all blotchy like High Pitch Mike too.
Robin used to sit on a block of ice because of the hot flashes. Howard said she was always dabbing her head too. Robin said it will ease up soon enough. Lisa said she feels like her hormones are as fucked up as Chaz Bono's.
Howard asked Lisa about losing weight for the wedding. Lisa said she did talk about that last time she was on. She said she wanted to lose 20 more. Lisa said she has Bingo arms that flap when you raise your arm and yell Bingo. Lisa said they went to her house and Jimmy lost 47 pounds right off the bat. She said that he lost it like Mary Kate with a finger down her throat. Lisa said she lost 2 pounds and she's on the diet. Lisa said she's holding onto it in the mid section. She said that Eric the Midget has a stronger core than she does.
Howard asked Lisa if she keeps the lights down low when they make love. Lisa said they do. Robin asked if Jimmy likes thin women. Lisa said he claims he loves her just the way she is.
Howard asked Lisa how she got invited to the MTV Movie Awards. Lisa said she was invited to their party where they give out gifts. She said she figured they'd get something cool at the party but the gifts were shitty. She said that it was people pimping these shitty products and she had to go on camera and plug this shit. She said that it was her, Mackenie Phillips, Barry Williams and the kid who played Chris Rock on Everybody Hates Chris. She said that they all had to pimp themselves out selling these products and giving them free endorsements. Lisa said she was flattered by what they were telling her about being a cougar so she just did it.
Lisa is doing a special on Howard 101 tonight called Bite My Big Apple. Lisa said that she's doing some shows there in New York and she wants to let people know just how great it is. Howard said the city really is a great city. Lisa said it's a melting pot of filth that she can make fun of.
Howard gave Lisa some more plugs for her upcoming gigs and said that she's doing some big gigs. Lisa is going to be doing some shows there in New York in December. Lisa said she wants to retire and move to Connecticut. She said that may be another 10 years before that can happen. Lisa said she can't get anything on TV for some reason. She said that she thinks the problem is that her tickets sell great now but a year or two from now she may dry up. Howard asked if she's seen the Joan Rivers documentary. She hadn't so Howard told her to check it out. Howard said she may have gotten too good looking.
Lisa loves to spend. She said her wedding is up to like $300,000. Her invitations were $21,000 alone. Howard asked what she's doing. She said it's just once in your life. She said that her florist lowered the price after the last time she was on the show. She said that he was charging her $67,000 and now it's down to 50,000. She said she hopes her Arab limo company hears this and lowers the price too.
Howard said that maybe Lisa can get in a movie or something. Lisa said she's not a real actor. She can only be herself. Howard said that maybe she could do something like that Sandler movie and play herself. Lisa said she was going to do a thing with the Oxygen network and she's been waiting to hear back. She said that's like waiting for a guy to beat you up. She said that it's like waiting for PAX to call you too. Lisa said that they want to do a reality show with her and Jimmy Big Balls. Lisa said they already have a show in the works over there though so they can't do it right now. Lisa said they're working on a development deal but she's 49 and she might be getting too old for this shit.
Howard asked Lisa if it's true that her desert table at the wedding is going to cost her $16,000. She said that it was supposed to be $18,000 but she didn't like the way the company was handling things so she fired them and found someone to do it for half the price.
Howard said he could talk to Lisa all day long. Lisa said she could talk all day and she does. Howard gave her some more plugs for her shows and wrapped up with her a short time later. You can find all of her info at InsultComic.com. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and tried singing along to the song but had the lyrics all wrong. Robin had to help him out with that. Howard started singing with his Autotune turned on.
Howard said they had a jam packed show today and didn't have much time to settle down. He had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Robin's upcoming comedy show for the 15 Foundation. They have some stuff up for bidding on CharityBuzz.com as well. He said they have seats to a Jay Leno show taping and they haven't gotten any bids on that yet.
Steve said they also have a story about KC Armstrong not showing up for his court date. They are supposed to show up on Wednesday according to his attorney. KC is also living in hotels from night to night now. He goes on Priceline.com to find cheap hotel rooms from night to night.
Steve said that Lisa G is going to be on a TV show cooking up summer shortbread lemon squares. That will be on LX TV tonight at 5. Howard said he hates lemon in food. It didn't sound good to him. Howard said no one likes that unless they're fucked up.
Steve also got in plugs for Lisa Lampanelli's radio show tonight at 7 on Howard 101 and Greg Fitzsimmons at Midnight.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down the list of subjects they had for today's show. That led to Howard talking about the Chris Rock and David Spade interview and the dinner they're supposed to go out to on Thursday. Howard asked Jon about what he thinks about True Blood this season too. Jon said it's just been okay. Howard said he feels like he's waiting for something to happen but it's just a big build up right now. Jon said he wants to see the vampire stuff and not all of the other stuff they're doing. He finished up his Wrap Up Show preview after that.
Howard said that this thing can get answers wrong. He said they call it Watson. Howard said that he went online and played for a few minutes. He said he thinks that Robin could beat him but they should go on and check it out. Howard said there is a link out there to check out.
Howard told Robin about this video he watched where they showed how they came up with the technology and all of that. He said it was very interesting to him. He said that the thing isn't perfect and you can win playing against it. Howard said he fed it 7 black and white cookies hoping it would fall asleep but it didn't work.
Mike said he wanted to ask Robin a question about Father's day. He asked if that's an emotional today for her her. Robin said it's not hard for her at all. Her father is dead. She said she's over all of that stuff he did to her. She said she calls her mom and talks to her instead. Robin said she has does miss her father at times. She said that she had a good relationship before that stuff and even after. She said she didn't talk to her family for 10 years but they got past that.
Robin said she was able to forgive her father for what he did to her. Howard said he could never forgive someone for that. Robin said that you keep yourself in a prison if you don't forgive. She said you're abusing yourself for not getting over it.
Howard told Hook Nose to get back to work. He said he'll hear from him in another year. Mike said he'll call in next week. Robin said she misses him calling Howard a ''Hook Nose Jew Bastard.''
Howard ended up doing an impression of his mom telling him to cum on her belly like she'd do if she was abusing him as a child. Howard had wondered if he would have been better off being abused by his mom when he was a kid. He had some fun with that for a few minutes. That led to them playing some mommy porn clips too. Howard was disturbed by that stuff.
Robin finally got to her news and started off with a story about body waxing and how dangerous it can actually be. She said that there was something going on in England and some construction workers did this charity event and got waxed and one guy had 8 inches of skin pulled off near his testicles. It took of 6 of 7 layers of skin and came close to his testicles. Howard said that's awful and his testicles are tingling hearing that story. Howard wanted Fred to play some audio of Richard getting waxed. Fred eventually found some of that and played it. The sounds he made were pretty funny. Fred played a few clips of those Richard sounds.
Robin read a story about a female drug that's supposed to be like Viagra but the pill that came out has not been approved. Howard said that Viagra helps a man get an erection and a woman is not the same so you can't just give her something like that and expect it to work. Fred threw in some Little Lupe clips during that story. Howard said he was saying that all weekend and Beth thought it was funny a couple of times but she got sick of it. Howard said he doesn't know when things get unfunny. He said they were making love and he said ''vagina poosy'' and it wasn't funny again.
Robin read about Tiger woods being back out on the greens playing again. Robin said he didn't do very well though. That led into the story about the woman who claims to have a Tiger Woods love child. She's filing for paternity.
Robin read a story about some grizzly bear being killed after it killed a 70 year old man. Robin said the guy was hiking alone when he was killed by the bear. Robin said he was in the bear's habitat and they ended up killing the bear. Robin said they hunted it down and fatally shot it.
Robin read that they're going to have Yoga mats rolled out in Times Square today. Robin said they're celebrating the summer solstice.
Robin read about Lady Gaga no longer being welcome at the Yankees private area at Yankee stadium. She got access to the club house with her friends on Saturday. Howard said he heard that they were welcome in there and they were fine with her being in there.
Howard read about a movie Sting is working on. Howard heard the description and sarcastically said he can't wait to see that. It was about farming in cities and it was called The Vertical Farm. Robin was talking about that and how good it can be so Fred threw in her theme music from Guatemala.
Robin read about how KoRn is upset with BP so they're boycotting the company. They're trying to get other bands to do the same and it's working. They have a bunch of bands following their lead. She ran down the list of bands that they had doing the same.
Howard said there was some douche bag senator who came out and said he didn't like how Obama was dressing down the BP people and it was a shake down. Howard said Obama did something great. He said he asked them to put $20 billion in a fund so we'd be assured that they'd have money for the clean up. This senator got up and started saying he felt bad for BP. Howard said the guy is the head of one of those subcommittees and he's probably getting money from BP. Howard played the audio of the guy, Senator Barton, talking about that. Howard laughed about that and said this guy is out of his mind. The guy had to issue an apology for the speech he made so Howard played that as well. Robin read more about KoRn and what they have to say about this BP thing.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Dean dying a little while back. Howard said Jimmy used to be on the Mike Douglas show when he was a boy and the guy had one hit song, ''Big Bad John.'' Howard said the guy was kind of mean to Mike Douglas too. He said he was on one day and said he had started a sausage company and he thought he was just a shithead. Howard said the son of a bitch went on to make billions with that sausage thing. Howard said he had a weird reaction to the guy dying. Howard said it really affected him. He said Jimmy Dean represented his youth somehow. He said he felt bad about him dying. Robin read about where people can pay respects for Jimmy. Howard heard that they sold the company for big money. Benjy found out it was only sold for $15 million in 1984. Benjy said that he must have been some kind of business genius to turn that into $75 million later on. Robin read that his widow was impressed by the outpouring of love that has come since her husband died.
Robin read about the 1 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death and how his kids will be observing it. Howard said he likes that the kids are going to start going to a real school. They should be a lot better off when they do that. Howard said he thinks that it's funny how it seems like he's a better father being dead than he was alive. Robin said his mother wrote a book about Michael as a tribute to her son. She thinks that her son was misunderstood and this is her way of showing what he was really like.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a salesman and he has to call on this packing plant where they make ham and baloney and things. He said the worst thing is when their sausage maker breaks. He said you can't imagine walking into the facility. He said he's toured the entire place and seen what they do with the meat there. He said that you have no idea how loud it is when the animals are coming off the trucks. He said they tattoo them, shock them, slit their throats and then hang them on hooks. He said they do the tattoo thing so they can check the pituitary gland and make sure they're healthy. The guy said that a lot of them die on the way to the plant and they just take the dead ones and throw them on the parking lot. Howard said he couldn't deal with that. He said he's not going to be starting up a sausage company. He said if you think about it, Jimmy Dean was like a Hitler to animals.
The caller said that he appreciates what Howard has done there and he has brought a lot to his life. Howard said he thinks his time is near so he may have to say goodbye from a few places around the country. Howard said he may have to go to Aspen and places like that. Howard said he was thinking about going to Hawaii to do that. Robin said they don't get Sirius there in Hawaii.
Robin got back to her news and read about Joran Van Der Sloot and what's going on with him in Peru. Robin said they have laws down there that are much different than here. Robin said the judge is going to go to his jail cell and visit him to ask what happened.
Robin read about the Times Square bombing suspect being brought to court today. Robin read about how the guy was trained in Pakistan and how he may have been helped by the Taliban.
Robin read a story about fat kids and the snacks that they eat at school. Robin said that they say that the kids think that the food with cartoon characters on them taste better.
Robin read a story about how Lakers fans are going to have a parade to attend today at 11am Pacific time. Robin said that they will have floats going for the players.
Robin read about a woman who has become a priest even though she's been excommunicated by the Catholic church. Robin said the woman may be doing services from homes and private services but not in the church.
Robin read a story about a ''hugging saint'' in California. Robin said the woman is known for hugging people and people show up just to get hugged. Robin said she doesn't claim to be a healer or anything. Howard said if that's the case then he's all for that. He was worried that she was telling people that she was healing them. Robin had an audio clip of her talking about how people vibrate when she hugs them. Howard said she lost him there. Robin had another clip of a woman talking about how she felt unconditional love when she got that hug. Robin said they have to call Robin Radzinski because she was supposed to go to this event to get a hug.
Robin read a story about Snoop Dogg doing a song for True Blood called ''Oh Sookie.'' She had some audio of Snoop's song. Howard said that was very original. Robin said this isn't the first time Snoop has professed his love for the show.
Howard said he needs a gig like that hugging thing or writing songs about Sookie. He said he has fans like Mariann from Brooklyn who would testify that they were healed by his hug.
Robin said Tom Cruise has a new movie out called ''Knight and Day.'' She had some audio of Tom talking about the movie and he said ''Mass-a-two-sits'' when he was saying Massachusetts. Howard said that ain't right. He said it must be a Scientology thing. Howard wondered what the hell he was thinking there.
Robin said that the new Tom Cruise movie is opening on Wednesday. She had some more audio of Cruise talking about working with Cameron Diaz. Howard didn't last long with that clip. Cruise also talked about doing his own stunts in this movie.
Robin read about the new ''Grown Ups'' movie and had some audio of the guys from the movie talking about it. Howard didn't last long with that either. She had some audio of David Spade talking about the movie as well.
Robin read about the new Twilight movie that's coming out on June 30th. Howard said he was invited to the premiere but he may not be able to go. He said he hopes that they make it a little more masculine. Howard said he thought the second one was kind of weak. Robin said she did too but she's giving them another chance. Howard said he is too.
Robin read about Angelina Jolie visiting Haiti. She had a quick story about that and about Amanda Bynes announcing that she's retiring from acting. Robin said she's 24 and acting isn't as much fun as it used to be. Robin also mentioned that Manute Bol died at the age of 47. Howard sounded shocked by that. They had to end the show after that. It was about 10:40am.
Jon played some of the show where Scott was arguing with Gary on the show first thing this morning. After playing that Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary is trying to have it both ways on this tape. He said that Gary says he would have manned up if he had been caught in another way. Gary said he has been caught and he manned up but he's upset about how the tape was given to Howard.
Scott came in and tried to defend himself again. He said Gary is making it sound like he promised not to date his daughter or something. Gary said that he asked Scott not to show any video from that camera unless he was on the air. Gary said Scott did that and he promised not to show anything that he didn't approve. Scott said that it was Doug that taped it though. Scott said that it's not just him. Jon said that he's blaming everyone but himself. Scott said he shouldn't be the fall guy there. Jon said that he's pointing the finger at Doug and everyone else.
Doug was in too so he said that it was fun to watch Scott go nuts. Doug said he's equally to blame in this. Scott said that he said earlier he was 90 percent to blame. Doug said it was a very rare occasion that something like this happened. He said it was a hard scenario to figure out.
Gary and Scott continued to go back and forth on that and Gary said that Scott comes across as being very insincere when he apologizes. Scott said he should go to acting school or something then. Gary said he should go to therapy classes or something.
Jon asked Scott why he apologized to Gary if he thinks that it's girly to do that. Scott said he apologized for his role in this but he's 1/10th of this whole thing. He said that Doug was involved too. Gary said he had the conversation with Scott though. He said Scott is the one who told him they would never use the tape.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Scott sounds really obnoxious when he argues. He asked Gary if Scott is the only deciding factor on what goes to Howard. Gary said it doesn't matter. He said Scott made a promote that he would not use that kind of tape. He said that's what this whole thing is about. Gary said he was assured by Scott that he would not use the tape. Scott said he told Doug that he would be upset. He knew that was the case.
The caller said that people hate Scott when he argues like this. Scott said he really doesn't care. He said that it doesn't bother him. He said he's going to have a great day no matter what.
Jon took a call from another guy who said that Scott has zero integrity. Scott said that Doug knew about it too.
The guys talked about how everyone loves the tape but Scott was wrong for doing it. Gary said that no one will trust Scott again after that.
Robin came in and said that she can't believe that Scott doesn't get that he did something wrong. She said that he was saying it wasn't all that important to him when he made that deal with Gary. Scott said he didn't see it as that big of a deal because it's been like 10 years since the deal was made. Gary said it was like 4 years ago when they made the latest deal. Robin said Scott's word has a shelf life apparently.
Gary said that Scott has no sincerity when he's apologizing now. He said that today he came into his office and apologized but it sounded more like he just wants this to go away. Robin told Scott what he could have said to Gary if he had actually forgotten about the apology.
Scott said someone told him that Gary was sleeping in the office and then Doug taped it. He said he wasn't the one who did the taping. Robin said he should have told Doug not to tape it. Doug said he figured that Gary would get angry and he told Doug that. Doug went in with the tape anyway.
Gary said that this is all boring and the thing that's making this all interesting is the fighting. He said that the tape could have gone away by now already.
Scott said he just wants it to go away and he wants to get out of there. Doug said that Scott is the one who is keeping the wound open and won't let them close it. Scott said he wants an apology from Gary now. Gary didn't understand that. He said Doug didn't go on the air trying to blame other people. He just apologized and moved on. Scott could have done that too. Scott was still blaming everyone else but not himself. He even threw Jon Hein and Will into the mix again. Scott said that he made the deal but everyone else wanted to see the tape on the air. Gary said that's the whole point. Scott was the one who made the deal.
Ralph called in and said the big thing is that Scott doesn't know when to shut up. He said that there's no way that Scott would jump in front of Doug if he wanted to tape something. Gary said that Scott is just trying to get out of there not looking like a dick. Gary said when you make a deal with someone you have to be able to trust them. Ralph said he'd be pissed as shit too. He said that his anger is misguided though. He said that if Howard found out they didn't tape it hen Howard would be pissed. Scott was apologizing again but it was very insincere.
Gary said what he likes about this is that it shows that Scott can never be wrong in any argument. Doug said it may have been worth taking the wrath of Howard by going to Gary first. He said maybe he would have let them play the tape. Gary said he's not sure how he would have reacted. He said he's very embarrassed by this whole thing though.
Doug said they had the tape for a day before they went to Howard with it. Gary said it was less than a day. Doug knew it was going to be an issue. He said he figured they'd roll with it and see what happens afterward.
Another caller said that Scott can never be trusted and he has no honor. He said he will never apologize for what he did. He said Scott thinks that everyone is against him.
Robin asked Gary if he's ever been in a position like this. Gary said he has thrown people under the bus but he doesn't have to do that now. He said there are plenty of others who do it for him.
Gary said that he felt kind of weird about the Stuttering John audition tapes but it wasn't his decision to put them on the air. He said he can see why John would be upset about it. He said that Scott the Engineer went right to Howard with that stuff. That was Scott's way of getting back and John for the many things that he did.
Another caller said that he had an analogy about the tape thing and it was all Superman related. Gary said his head was spinning trying to figure that out.
Robin said she'd like to be able to go to Australia sometime too but she can't do that on a weekend. She said that would be too much travel.
Jon brought up David Spade and Chris Rock coming in. Gary said that Spade was booked alone and he had to push to get Rock booked with him for some reason. Robin thought hat Spade didn't want to come in alone but that wasn't the case according to Gary. Robin said that Spade seemed very nervous in the studio today. He was pacing around and moving his headphones and stuff a lot.
Gary said that Spade kept moving his mic even though he told him not to touch it during the interview. Jon said that Chris came out swinging when he came in. He was talking about Artie and the history of Howard Stern stuff as soon as he got in there. Gary said they never got to ask him how he got rid of his first pitch video.
Jon had Teddy play a clip from the interview where Rock and Spade were talking about how crazy Spade can be. After that the guys spent a few more minutes talking about Spade and the women he dated and things like that.
A caller asked if they fond that Chris was being offensive about the History of Howard Stern and how he only had like 9 listeners. Gary said that a lot of people from the old audience don't know how to get the show and they're too lazy to figure it out so that might be why he makes comments like that. Robin said that he seemed to be upset that they took a break for a while after he was able to hear the show for a month. Robin said that he was just looking for some fresh content. Gary said he told Chris that it's one of the most popular things they run on the channels there and he just looked at him and said ''And then Baba Booey came in...'' like they do on the History specials. He was shocked that they have a whole team there working on the tapes too.
Another caller said he felt that Rock came off kind of bad today and Spade came off very well. Gary said that being funny isn't always about being nice and if he didn't have the respect for Howard he wouldn't get away with doing those jokes.
Robin said that Chris was just speaking about how a lot of people don't think they exist now that they're on satellite.
Jon said he felt that Spade came off pretty well today. He said that they did have some interesting discussions. Jon said that Spade's list of women is legendary. Robin said that he's the guy women end up with when they break up with someone. Robin said it used to be Scott Baio and now it's David Spade.
Robin said that David is cute and charming and you know he's going to make you laugh. Gary said he's kind of like Ralph in the way he can just hang out and wait around for chicks to do whatever.
Jon asked Robin if she thinks that Chris will show up for dinner on Thursday. Robin said Chris may pick his fights and that won't be one of them. She's not sure that there's that much in it for him.
Jon wondered if it eats away at Howard that Chris' wife hates him. Robin said she's not sure if it bothers him that much but if he got her into a room he could convert her. Gary said he would love to know what was said between Chris and his wife.
Jon said that Chris was also defending Leno today. Robin said that he was saying that there is no safety in show business and that's why Leno got his job back. Gary said that Jay should have walked across the street to FOX and said he was going to crush NBC. Robin said that's what everyone thought he was going to do. She said he waited around instead.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Robin if she had ever heard of this guy Dr. Feelgood who would give celebrities shots of vitamin B12 and stuff lie that to make them feel better. Robin didn't know who he was but the guy asked her if she thinks that's what's going on with Dr. Roni. Robin said that she's had this energy for a while now but she didn't use it in the way she does now. Robin said it's the green drink that helps her out with this stuff.
Robin got in some plugs for her charity event that they have going on this Wednesday for the 15 Foundation. She said that they have tickets as low as $100 now and they're also raffling off some tickets. Robin went through all of that and mentioned that Benjy wasn't in there. She had forgotten that he wasn't allowed to be in there. Gary said it's been 2 weeks that he's been on time and he has to wait 3 months to come back on. Gary said that it's only been two weeks so far and it's not time to start celebrating yet.
Jon asked Robin if she would start a registry if she was getting married now. Robin said it would just be a party and she would just want them to celebrate with her. She wouldn't want any gifts.
Gary said he was joking around with Lisa Lampanelli about the registry thing and how they go around picking stuff out with the scanner. Gary said Lisa told him that at Barney's they have a ''waspy woman'' following you around instead of doing it yourself.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they're doing a great job with the Wrap Up Show. He said he was kind of surprised that he'd like this show as much as he does. The guy went on to say that Howard likes to have rules but Benjy and Scott have been breaking them and Howard isn't doing anything. Gary said that they're different types of rules and Benjy broke some show rules and Scott's thing was a promise that he made to him. He said they don't even work for the same company. Gary said he may actually work for Scott if anyone is working for someone else.
The caller said that it seems that Scott is saying ''fuck you'' to Gary and Benjy is saying that to Howard. It's a theme going on there now. Gary said he thinks that it's an isolated thing between the two. He said that there is no ground swell or mutiny going on there. The caller said he thinks it has something to do with the ending of the show.
The caller said that they can't trust a guy like Scott. He said he's not a real man. Gary said that some of the stuff Scott does weirds him out.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he doesn't see why Jon didn't go to Gary about the tape when Scott told him about it. He said he thought that Gary was friendly with Jon and he would fill him in. Gary said he knows the way things work there and that's not the way it works. Robin said that you can always tell when someone has something about Gary when they go into the studio. She said they have to get it out there quickly and they check both doors before they tell Howard. They spent a minute on that and then had to take a break.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he'd prefer cash over a gift off a registry. Gary said he gave cash once and the envelope got lost. He said that a check is the way to go. Jon said that ultimately cash is king. Robin said that the worst is when someone goes off the registry and buys you something that you don't want and you have no way of returning it.
The caller said he would prefer cash or check and with any friends that are listening, that's what he'd want. He said he's getting married soon too. He said he might start doing the wish list thing like Eric the Midget is doing with his Amazon.com wish list.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what Robin's relationship is with Paul Mooney and if she thinks that he's kind of racist. Robin said that he is a friend of the show and he has a different take on things. She said that he can sometimes offend but he can also come out on the right side of things. She said he's just trying to tell jokes and make people laugh. The caller said that Robin is just like Mark Cronin this morning and making sense.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about the Scott thing with Gary. He said that Scott had a tasty bit of information about Gary and he wanted that huge feather in his hat by taking him down. He said that he could be the guy who brought Gary down. Gary said he hadn't given it that much thought. He said he's kind of overstating it but maybe it was Scott wanting to expose it. Robin said that it was mostly Doug though because he put the tape in. Gary said it wasn't all Doug though. He said Scott was involved too.
Jon asked Robin how many times this has happened and how you get caught. Robin said it has happened when people are telling stories about someone and they're in the studio. Gary said that happened to him when Artie had put his head down on his desk and he didn't see him in there. He went in during a break and told Howard about Artie doing something and Artie lifted his head up and saw him.
Robin said that has happened to her too. She said that she thought she had checked the room for Gary but he was in there. Robin said that she sometimes walks out of her booth and she'll hear them talking about something weird that they're listening to about her.
Gary said that Robin works in her booth during the afternoon and sometimes he'll be giving a tour and Robin will be in there. He said it can scare you. He said she's lit to be seen back there. Robin said it's like being in a wax museum the way she's lit.
Jon took a call from a guy who said they were talking about the Rock interview and how Sandler seems to have some resentment against Howard. He said you'd think that he'd understand that it's show business. The guy said that Rock seemed to have an objective view of show business and he gets it. Gary said that some people are more sensitive to it. He said that Sandler is usually pretty serious during interviews. He said that he may not even be mad anymore but he may not want to be asked strange questions. Robin said he may think of it as ''why bother'' at this point.
Gary said that Sandler has gotten far in his career without coming there. He said that every celebrity does something eventually that they will come in there and promote it. He said Robin Williams was one of them. Gary said that Sandler may have called in today if he was on the East Coast. He said they're on their way to getting him in there though. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about Rob Zombie. He was singing along to his song at the start of the show and then Robin mentioned that he was joining the boycott of BP.
They spent a minute on that before Howard moved on to talk about Cody Gifford who is working at the Today Show where his mom works. He said he's a guest movie reviewer over there. Howard said the kid is handsome. He said he's criticized Kathie Lee but you never do a favor for your kid like this. He said it doesn't do him any good. Howard said the whole segment looks out of place. He said the kid isn't a movie reviewer. He said it would be one thing if Kathie Lee asked him what movie he liked. He said he has no solid movie review skills. He said that it's not like a real movie reviewer. He said the kid is kind of stiff. He said the kid wants to be a movie director and this isn't doing him any good.
Howard said he had to develop a personality to get where he got to and this kid never had that chance from what he can see. Howard said he needs his father yelling at him about what a moron and an idiot he is. Howard said the kid is almost a John Stamos looking type of kid and he's probably getting a ton of pussy. Howard said he'd love to interview him and ask when he started getting laid. Howard said every kid wants to look like this kid. He's 20 years old now.
Howard said the kid comes off like one of those robots at Disney. He said he's a sweet kid and all and he has nothing against him or his mom really. Howard said Kathie Lee just makes a lot of wrong moves.
Howard had an audio clip of Cody doing his movie review. He was telling his mom how much he loved Toy Story 3 but Howard said no one really cares what he thinks about a movie. Cody was talking about how much he enjoyed it and how he sat next to a 7 year old who was laughing her head off during the whole movie.
Howard played some more of the review and Cody was talking about seeing the movies when he was a kid and how much he liked them then. Howard said Kathie Lee was so proud as she sat there watching this.
Howard said this is probably no different than the Osbourne's putting their kids on TV. They weren't authorities on anything according to Robin.
Howard played more of the interview and Cody was saying that this third movie was better than the second in his opinion. Then he had a review of Jonah Hex which he hated. Cody was saying he didn't want to get in trouble with people on the west coast by saying he hated it. Cody gave his review of that movie and it sounded like he was just telling his mom about going to see a movie. It wasn't really a review. He talked about how hot Megan Fox was. He said she was kind of objectified like she is in every movie she's in. Kathie Lee was joking about how she had to hear about her kid's fantasy when she heard him talking about Megan Fox.
Howard jokingly said her daughter Cassidy came out next and gave financial advice. Robin said they could have the whole family doing a show together. Howard said he would probably have to tune in to see that. Howard said the kid seemed like a good kid but he's got looks, the parents and now an internship where they stick him in front of the camera. Howard said he would get berserk when he was younger and saw that kind of nepotism going on.
Howard said it must be fun to go to school and live away from home. Gary told Howard where the kid went and it was the same place his father went. Howard said he hated coming home when he'd go off to college and then come back. Howard said he had to come home and hear his dad asking him how his job search was going. Howard said he knew how it went. Howard said he would help out with his audition tapes though. Howard said he can't fault Kathie Lee for helping her son.
Howard said he would sit in a coffee shop for most of the day waiting for a job. He said he would sit there and buy a lottery ticket every day. He remembers it being a dismal time. He said it can't be that bad at the Gifford house.
Howard said he remembers coming home and telling his dad he had a marketing job. Then he had to quit because he sucked at the job. Howard said he got the job at WRNW making $96 a week. He said his parents helped him get a car and a credit card for gas. He said he was able to take that 96 a week and pay the monastery where he was living. Howard said he couldn't talk or even read a book there. He said he just laid there until the next day when he went to work.
Howard said Chris' HBO special ''Bring the Pain'' is like the Sgt. Peppers of comedy. He said that Garry Shandling said he hated Chris Rock after seeing that special because he was so good. Howard said the guy is an amazing talent and he wants to branch out and do other things. Howard said he could do that too but he chooses to do the thing he's best at which is radio. Howard said he might take a movie role but he's been pretty smart about taking movie roles. He said he did the one that made sense and that was ''Private Parts.'' Howard said he's very particular about that.
Howard said he thinks that Chris wants that success that Eddie Murphy had but he's at the mercy of the movie industry. Howard said the guy is one of the best comedians out there and the movie thing just isn't working out for him yet.
Robin said Eddie Murphy lucked out with his movie career with Trading Places and 48 Hours. That led to Howard talking about how good Eddie was at playing characters. He said he was built for doing movies. Robin said he did things that were edgy just like he was on SNL. Howard said Chris got his success after SNL and he became Chris Rock because of his stand-up comedy. Robin said Richard Pryor had the same problem with movies. She said that he was doing dumb characters. Howard said Chris has to find something that works for him. He said they're great comedians but it tortures them to keep doing the same thing.
Howard said he used to say he didn't like Adam Sandler's movies but the guy has an amazing ability to attract an audience. Howard said he's come to respect some of the stuff he's done. Howard said he doesn't hate the guy though. He said he ran into him on a plane once and they didn't say anything to each other. Howard said he enjoys Adam and he enjoys seeing him doing stuff on award shows and things like that. Howard said he doesn't hate the man. He said he seems like a real nice kind of guy with the animals and all of that. He just didn't like all of his movies.
Howard said the interview they did yesterday was an amazing thing. He said that he's gotten a lot of feedback about it and people loved what they heard with Chris and David Spade. Howard said that was a general rapport they had in there yesterday.
Howard said he hasn't seen the movie yet but if they had that kind of rapport then it could be great. Howard said he'd love to be able to do a behind the scenes thing with the movie and see how those guys are when they're really hanging out together.
King said he had to tell Howard about some other things but Howard wanted to get off the phone. King was going to talk about Chris and his family but Howard said it was enough. He said it's uncomfortable at this point already. He hung up on him after that.
Robin said that these guys like Sandler, Rock and Spade all have a rapport like Sammy Davis Jr. and Frank Sinatra did.
Howard said he can't believe how many movies come out every week and how none of them end up on pay-per-view. He said you never see them again. Howard said this guy Kevin Spacey is an amazing actor. He said the guy is no where to be found. Howard said the guy can really act and the guy is successful and you never see him. Robin said he's over in England running a theater company or something. Howard said there are not enough jobs and not enough good scripts.
Howard said Spade is another guy that flies under your radar. He's heard that his stand-up is amazing. Howard said he hasn't seen it but he heard from Beth that he killed at a place in Vegas. He said Beth loved it and he probably banged her after the show. Howard said Gary told him not to let Beth stay in a room with Spade because he may seduce her. Howard said he may be right. Howard said Beth is going to be on Jimmy Fallon's show on Thursday.
Howard said that he's not sure where King was going with that story about Chris Rock and his kid. He said he really doesn't want it on the radio. Howard said he appreciates that Rock and Spade were there yesterday and he doesn't want anyone being thrown under the bus. He said maybe King wasn't going to do that but he didn't want to find out.
The caller said that he saw a special about Michael Jackson's kids. Howard said that Jackson was a bad father and they're probably better off without the guy around. Howard talked about how he hung the one kid over a balcony and how he was on drugs. Howard said you can't be a good father when you're an addict. Howard said that they think about one thing, drugs and alcohol all day long. Howard said that when you're a parent you don't dress them in hoods, masks and blankets and isolate them. Howard said they probably thought of him like god in their world because he's the only one they saw.
Howard said the kids names were Prince and Paris. He said that's not right either. Kids don't need that kind of pressure. Howard said he had two kids named Prince Michael. Howard said the guy wasn't a great father and he was a very ill man. He wasn't a fan of his music but he knows it speaks to a lot of people.
Howard said he sat with the guy for an hour and there was no way he could be a good father. He said he's never seen a more bizarre person in his life. He said the guy was a bona fide mess. He told that story again about how he met with Michael with his agent Don. Howard said it was awkwardly silent in the room. He said the guy had bandages on his fingers and he had a bandage on his nose. He said the nose wrap was unraveling and he had ink on his fingers that was getting on his nose. He said it was wild. Howard said he tried to forget about all of that and relate to the guy.
Howard said he asked Michael about being into Depak Chopra and Michael just giggled and didn't really say much about it. Howard said he tried to talk to the guy about Transcendental Meditation but the guy was just giggling. Howard said the guy wanted him to help him out and he had nothing to add to the conversation.
The caller said that he's had some issues with the online version of SIRIUS. Howard didn't know they had issues. He said he might be right about the internet crashing if he moved to another company. Howard said he might have to get out of there if they can't handle that. Howard said that god damn stock is worth nothing and that was supposed to be his ticket out of there. He said he's going to be stuck there looking at Fred for the next 100 years.
Howard said he likes this company and they like promoting his show and all of that. He said he likes them there but the question is if he's worth it. Of course it was worth it, it caused a merger between the two satellite companies. Howard said he's a good partner. Howard said that he has no problem with SIRIUS but he didn't know that they had a problem with the .com stuff. Howard said he needs his listeners getting the show to them the best way possible.
The caller asked if he has plans for his stock. Howard said he has it hanging on his wall. He said he just glued it right to his wall. The caller said that he must be doing this negotiating to get the stock lower so he can buy more. Howard said he's not going to buy more. He said it's worth nothing but the SEC was investigating him like it was. Howard said he's doomed if he relies on that stock.
The caller mentioned he saw this movie ''Black Dynamite'' and said it's really good. Robins said she got a copy of it too. The guy said it's a great movie and Howard should check it out. Robin wasn't such a big fan of what she saw. She said she might have to give it another try.
King told Howard about how Chris' wife dresses in African stuff. Howard said he knows he's in trouble when he sees that. He said he knows that the woman is ready to kill lions in Africa and he can't relate. Howard said he had to move on but King said that he has to stop with that. Howard said that he has to let him go when he says he has to move on.
King asked Howard what his strong suit is in his personality. Howard said he likes when he talks about stuff that black people love and stuff like that. He said he just has to let him move on when he wants to move along. King said he wants to stay on. Howard said he's trying to do a show.
Howard said King's real strong suit is the ability to get his parents to give him money. He said that's not an easy thing to do. King said it's not that hard for him. Howard said that King is the world's smartest street sweeper. King said that he and Howard have to move to Destin, Florida together. He said there aren't many black people down there. King was giggling and telling Howard about this place and how great it would be to live there with each other. Howard said that he had to go. King said he loves when Howard does that but he hears him.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he liked Spade and Rock but it was kind of confusing with them both in there. He said it was too much at once. The guy also said that David Spade had his kid on the same day that they had the George Takei bachelor party. Howard didn't get why that was relevant. He hung up on that guy. He wondered how that guy strung those two things together and thought they were interesting.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it's enough of King of All Blacks. He said he's just too much on the air.
Another caller said that he thinks that he will be staying at SIRIUS. He saw that Robin had a new computer set up and he doesn't think that she would get that if she wasn't staying for another 5 years. Howard said that's an interesting clue. Howard said he has to tell this guy something. He said it always seems to come down to the last minute with him but he doesn't do it as a technique. Howard said he gets fan mail asking him to stay and that means a lot to him. He said it may be too important to him. He said this isn't a game he's playing though. He said if he had a deal on the horizon he'd tell the fans. He said right now he really doesn't know.
Robin said she was tweeting yesterday and someone wrote in asking what the odds were of Howard staying. She said that she said it was like 60/40 and that was just a guess but they took it as something true. Howard said he thinks that the odds are much better than that actually.
Howard said he really likes this company and he would like to change a few things but not many. He said he's an ultra critical guy. He said he would like them to do some other things but he's also pleased with what they're doing in other areas. Howard said Mel Karmazin is a wonderful man and he honors a contract at least. That's a hard thing to find. He said he's worked with a lot of companies that don't do that. He said you can't trust many people in the business.
Howard said he signed on with this company before Mel was even there. He said he liked the guys he signed on with and they're still on the board. Howard said SIRIUS is now SIRIUS XM but it's really just SIRIUS because they won in the war. Howard said it's important to have this around and not just the internet and terrestrial radio. Howard said he thinks that they haven't even begun to explore what they can do with the service.
Robin said that Oprah is still calling it XM. Howard said Oprah does not put an ounce of energy into her channel. Robin said she doesn't know the name change. Howard said she got $50 million and she doesn't even know the name of the company. Howard said he's shocked that Robin even heard her say XM. Robin said she wasn't looking to promote or anything, she just happened to say it during some interview she did with Gayle King.
Howard said he has watched Oprah's show a few times. He said he's read her magazine too. He said he has nothing against her but when you take $50 million and don't know the name of the company, that's unbelievable. Howard said the reason she's going off and leaving her talk show is because her ratings are going way down. Howard said she barely does her show anymore and no one is turned on by it anymore. Robin said Oprah has lost interest in doing the show and people are losing interest in her.
Howard said Oprah is going off to do her own cable channel and maybe that will work out for her. Howard said that she should at least learn the name of this company that paid her $50 million.
Howard said they give Riley Martin a show and he's a friend. Howard said they gave Andy Dick, Chuck Zito and other friends shows. Howard said he has to show up and do his own show to keep it going though.
Howard said the Gary video is very funny. He said Gary sleeps with his mouth open and he licks his choppers. He said he wets them in his sleep and it's very funny. Howard said he flew with Gary one time and Gary fell asleep. He said he talked about his hang dog mouth and that video is the proof of what that looks like. The Howard TV guys played that clip and it was like a volcano erupting when the tongue comes out. Robin said it must get very dry and he has to keep it lubricated. Howard said you wait for Gary to lick his teeth when you see that.
Howard said that this was a private tape but Scott did a good thing by letting him know that Gary was sleeping during the show. Howard said he needed to know he was sleeping during the show. Howard said Gary lied to him about that too. He said Gary said he wasn't sleeping. Gary said he really didn't think he fell asleep that day. He said he really is upset with Scot about what he did to him. Howard said he's attacking Scott over it and he's taking the focus off of his sleeping on the job.
Howard said when he sees a guy who sleeps with their mouth open he feels that they're dopey in some way. He said he has his mouth closed when he sleeps and he has to keep something in his mouth to keep from grinding his teeth. Gary said he usually sleeps on his stomach. He said that nothing appears to bother Gary.
Howard said he flew Gary first class that time he fell asleep on him. Gary said he didn't sleep for 5 minutes or anything. The Howard TV guys were looping the clip so it looked like he was.
Howard talked about Gary sleeping on the plane and how he wet his choppers and went right back to sleep. Howard said he has to take two Ambien on the plane and he only sleeps for like 10 minutes. Howard said that Gary got bored out in Las Vegas too. He had to go hang out with Nick DiPaolo out there to stop from being bored.
Howard goofed on Gary about that. Then Gary said that he was trying to hang out with Artie out there but the guy slept for like 20 hours straight. Howard said Gary was up early in Vegas because he knew he could come to work and sleep.
The caller said that DePace is a massive asshole for posting that tape. He said that he's not sure how he should feel about that. Howard said they had enough of that argument on the Wrap Up Show. DePace was on fire on the Wrap Up Show. Gary said Scott got all mad at him when he came in there and he didn't even ask him to come in there.
Howard played some clips from yesterday's Wrap Up Show where Scott and Gary were arguing. Howard said that this is all Gary's fault and he blames him for it all. He shouldn't trust any of these vipers there. He said that Scott should have had that switch installed so the camera wasn't on all the time. Gary said no one's word is worth anything around there.
Robin said that the camera isn't Gary's friend. She pointed out that tape he made for his girlfriend. Howard said that Gary should never allow it to be on all the time. Gary said that they had it set up at the other place so it would only come on when he would push the button. Scott said they were going to do that but the radio guys said they couldn't hook it up in the RTS box that's in his office.
Howard asked Gary why he agreed to let them keep the camera on. Gary said he was being a nice guy. He said he should have said no.
Howard played a little more of Gary and Scott's arguing from the Wrap Up Show. Howard said Scott really throws everyone under the bus. Robin said he runs out of fingers from pointing them at everyone else. Howard told everyone to keep listening. He played more of the tape and the two of them were going back and forth about Scott's word to Gary. Scott basically said his word isn't good forever. It has an expiration date. Scott ended up asking for an apology from Gary.
Gary said Scott should have said that he made this thing with him and he should have just admitted that he did wrong. He ended up blaming Doug and other people instead. Scott told Gary to just stay awake. Gary said he's sure that Scott would create weeks of material if he had a camera on him all the time. Scott said they can put a camera on him in there. Gary said he's going to do that. He's going to walk in and tape him when he doesn't know what's going on and show the tape to Howard.
Howard said Scott is like the guy who designed the gas chambers for the Nazis and then at the trials he says he doesn't know what they were going to use the showers for. Howard said that he'd deny knowing what they were going to use them for. Scott said he's right but in this case Doug is Hitler and Gary should be upset with him instead. Howard said he imagines Scott demanding an apology from the Jews for blaming him for designing those gas chambers too. They had to go to break after that.
Howard asked the caller what his point was. The guy said that Lisa is trying to act much younger than she looks but she's also throwing Howard's name out there like she's dating him. Howard said Lisa G was on TV doing a recipe for lemon bars and he hates lemon bars. Howard said he hates any lemon desert. He said it doesn't belong in deserts. Howard said he doesn't like fruit with desert. He said he loves strawberries but not shortcake or anything like that.
Lisa said she has some cookies for Howard out there. Howard said he doesn't want them. Howard said that Lisa is out promoting the show and the Howard Stern name so he likes that she works it into the show. Howard said they're trying to get subscribers. The caller asked why she's not trying to sell this stuff for 40 bucks a pop like she's done before. Howard said that was something else she was doing.
Howard said the host of the show that Lisa was on kept interrupting every 3 seconds. Howard said she was trying to give out the recipe and the host talked over her. He said it was maddening. Howard said Lisa did nothing wrong. The caller said that made him mad too. He apologized to Lisa for what he was saying earlier.
Howard had some audio of Lisa's appearance but he said that you couldn't hear anything that she was saying. He said she was trying to cook and they talked over her. Lisa said that the recipe was on their web site so they were trying to promote that during the interview.
Howard played the clip and Lisa said she didn't want to mention any names but some people don't like lemon. Howard was the name she meant to say but never did. Howard cut the clip off after the host cut Lisa off one too many times.
Lisa said that they have a story about how Gary has finished the manuscript for his book (They Call Me Baba Booey). Howard said she is right about that. Gary asked him to read some of the book. He said he hates reading books, even Gary's book. He said he loves to have free time to play chess and read books about chess. That takes away from his enjoyment. Howard said Gary said he wasn't going to include him in the book but he did. He said he's just like Scott with his lies. Howard said he has to read the chapters so he can see what he wrote. Howard said he should probably just give it to his agent instead. He said Gary was asking for his opinion on some stuff and he didn't want to have anything to do with that. He said he had given Gary some advice about writing the book and being careful what he writes about.
Howard asked how many he has to read. Gary said there were like 2 or 3 chapters but they're 5-10 pages long. Gary said that it's less than 25 pages that he'd have to read. Howard didn't sound happy about that. Gary said he would give it to his agent instead then. Howard thanked him for doing that.
Howard asked why he's in the book. Gary said it's about his family but there's a story about when Gary's mom called Howard's mom. Gary said it turns up in different places. Gary said that they have been together for 26 years and he's sorry for asking him to read a page a year. Howard said he'll treat it like Gary treats this show and fall asleep while reading it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that beavers like to sleep during the day. Fred said they actually work during the day. He said he just watched a beaver special and they hibernate in the winter. Howard said maybe Gary can build a dam on Howard TV for his Techno Beaver segment. Gary said he may not be doing anything else for the TV guys. Scott said Gary gets paid to do that stuff. Gary said he gets paid to do the radio show and he does that beaver thing for them as a favor. He said he doesn't have to do that. Gary told Scott not to put his integrity into question. That led to Scott and Gary getting into another argument. Gary told Scott to figure out how to get the camera fixed. Scott said he's working on it. Gary said he's had 4 and a half years to get it worked out.
Howard told Scott to offer to get the camera set up and tell him that he'll never use the tape. Scott did that but Gary gave him a big ''fuck you!''
Howard told Gary that he will read his book. He said he should just give him the whole god damn thing. Howard said he can imagine Gary's writing. He said he bets it's actually good but he hates reading books. He said it feels awful to him and it's so slow. He hates audio books too so he won't listen. Fred suggested that to him. Howard said that he hates audio books. He said he tried listening to an audio book and he was going out of his mind listening. He said Belinda Carlisle has a book out and it's way too slow for him as an audio book. Robin said that some professionals are good abut she tried listening to the President's audio book and she wasn't able to get through it.
Howard said he loves the Sarah Palin audio book because they edited the clips. He said that Gary's book should be good in that way too. Gary said his audio book is going to be awesome. He said they have all kinds of ideas for that.
Howard played Belinda Carlisle's audio book and showed how boring it was. She didn't put any emotion into the read. She was talking about ''gobbing'' at the shows they used to play in the early days with the GoGos. They would get spit on while they were on stage. Howard asked who could listen to a book like that. He said it's no wonder Gary is falling asleep back there.
Howard said Gary told him that he didn't like Belinda after hearing the book because she got high during her pregnancy. Gary said she claims she stopped doing it but the time line was hard to follow. Gary said that when you have a kid you'd think it would make you stop doing that. He said she's fine now but she was still getting high when the kid was like 12 years old. Gary said she's been clean since like 2005 or something like that. Robin said she doesn't think of her as a druggie.
Gary said she doesn't have any self image and she thought she was gross even when she was really skinny. Howard asked Gary if he had gotten high since his kids were born. Gary said he may have smoked pot but that's about it. Howard said Gary's thing is reading books but he doesn't like it. He said he will read Gary's chapters though.
Howard said Gary Garver wanted to get in a plug. He said he has a radio show on Tuesday mornings (tantalk1340.com) and a TV show going on at RockMeTV.com. Howard said that they said they'd give Gary some plugs so that's why he's doing that. Howard said he's happy for Gary.
Lisa said they have a book cover for Gary's book and it's a picture from his youth. Howard said it must be from before he got his caps.
Gary said the picture is from before he had his caps. He said he didn't want it on TV though. Howard said he won't let it on. He told Gary he'll keep his word unlike Scott DePace. Howard saw the picture and told Gary that he has to use it because it'll sell a lot of books. Robin got a laugh out of it when she saw it too. Howard said they're right, he has to use it. He said it's very funny. Fred said that it's a very funny picture.
Gary said he showed Mary the picture and she didn't like it. He said she told him that they should have a nice cover so people can look at it and enjoy it. Gary said she must not know who she's married to.
Fred said Gary looked like someone from the Brady Bunch. Howard said that was his class photo. He said it looked like he was struggling to keep the teeth under his lips. Howard said it looked like what Carol Brady would have after being raped by a wild animal. Howard said it was a bad, funny picture.
Gary said he knew the picture was funny but he didn't know that the book company was going to go in that direction. Howard said people can laugh at it now because Gary is so good looking. He's a beautiful swan now.
Lisa had some more news about Robin's 15 Foundation charity and a story they have about that. Lisa wrapped up and ran out after that.
Howard said he would buy Gary's book just for that picture on the cover. Howard said he's like an ugly ducking that grew up to be an ugly duck. He said they have Cyndi Lauper coming in to do a cover of Crossroads. He said she's got a new album out that's getting great reviews too.
Howard came back and asked who Levon is. Robin said she's not sure but the song makes her sad. Howard said every song makes him sad except for Lady Gaga songs. Howard said this is a beautiful song though. Howard listened to that for a short time. Fred told Howard the song was inspired by someone named Levon but it had nothing to do with him. Howard tried to decipher the lyrics as he was listening to the song. Howard didn't get it. He had a lot of questions. Fred and Robin were trying to explain it to him. Howard thought he had it figured out. He said that it was sad because people want to leave the nest and kill your parents off in a figurative sense. Howard and Robin talked about that for a short time as the rest of the song played out.
After the song Howard said that was like reading Gary's book. It was a lot of work figuring out what the song was about. Howard said he knows he'll get a lot of mail about the discussion too because he didn't mention Bernie Taupin enough.
Howard said he still has the Will Smith on Oprah clips to play but he's not sure if he can tolerate it again. He said it was really annoying the way Will and his wife Jada were talking about their kids and how they raise them. He said he might want to throw up and listen to some more of it.
Howard said Will and Jada were very nice to him when he met them back stage one time. He said they come off really bad when they do these interviews though. He said Oprah has no idea what it's like to have kids and she just says yes to everything they say to her.
Howard played some clips where Will Smith was talking about how you have to have a purpose and a goal in your life. Howard said this guy sounds like a Franklin Covey seminar. Howard said he has no goal in his life. Will said that he and Jada have to have a reason to be together. Jada got in on that and started talking about the vision they had for their relationship.
Howard said Will was also jumping in and out of ebonics. He wondered why Will would want to act ignorant. Robin said she thinks that he uses it as humor.... She thinks. Howard said that maybe he wants to be relatable to the rap community or something. Robin said that it's being relatable to dummies. She said she's sick of this bull crap.
Howard played more of the interview and they were talking about the plan they had for their kids. Howard said he never had a plan for his kids. He said he never thought of doing that. Howard said he can't imagine going on a show like that and talking about being ''two huge beings'' that came together and wanted to take their ''beings'' and make them big. Howard said people are not going to react well to something like that. Robin said that people like that can be friends with Tom Cruise because he's the kind of guy who can relate to that.
Howard said that it's like they're super heroes and they're creating more super heroes. Howard said that's a balls statement to make on a TV show like that. He said if he went on Letterman and talked like that, Dave would just piss all over him. He said that takes balls and you have to be out of your fuckin' mind to talk like that.
Howard said that Oprah was finishing sentences for them in this interview too. He said it was like she knew what they were talking about. Robin said it's like they think they're the first ones to ever do this kind of thing.
Howard played another clip where Will was talking about what the kids are doing in their lives and how he just wants them to live in service to greatness... ya know. Howard said his kids would have nervous breakdowns if he told them this stuff when they were growing up. Will was talking about how he wants his kids to grow up inspiring other people by their greatness.
Oprah asked how you raise kids who are grounded when they have access to everything. Will said he tells the kids all the time that mommy and daddy are rich and the kids are broke. He said they don't allow them to sit around. He said they tell them to add to the family. Howard said it sounds like they're in a seminar all the time. Howard said maybe they'll take their powers to the dark side and serve Lord Vader.
Howard said he can imagine being on that show and getting no ''Um hmm'' from her and getting ''Uh uh'' instead.
Howard said this stuff is wild. He said the one kid, Trey, must hate the other kids. He was from the first marriage. Howard told the kid to hang in there, it'll be alright. Howard said that's his favorite Smith kid. He said that most kids identify with Jaden but he's a Trey fan. Howard said they can't possibly be carrying on like this at home. Robin said she thinks that it goes on all the time.
Howard played a little more and Robin said she was reading about Willow Smith who is the youngest in the family. She said that the kid is an ambassador for Project Zambi.
Howard said it's a great piece and it's unbelievable how it's the same situation all over again. He said he should just let the other 3 minutes play. Robin said they
Gary told Howard to play more of the clip because it was very interesting. Howard played it and Rachel went on to talk about how the reason for the failure and how it was very similar to what happened this year. They never figured out how to fix it in 1979 and they were allowed to keep drilling after that. Howard said it was a really good report. Howard said Rachel is on MSNBC. He said she wears giant blue glasses and they look odd. He said she's very good though and she seems very intelligent. Howard said he had to go to break after that. He spent a minute talking about how he works out with Cyndi Lauper's husband but the guy never tells him anything about Cyndi when he asks. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he had Cyndi Lauper in the studio. It's her birthday today too. Howard said that her new album, Memphis Blues, is out and getting great reviews. Cyndi said she tried her best and she can't do anymore than her best. Howard said they say she was born to sing the blues. They said it could be the reason she was born.
Howard said he saw that Cyndi was blowing into a balloon during the rehearsal. He said that she was telling him that if you blow into a balloon it stimulates your lungs. Cyndi said you have to use the pharynx too and that helps by using the balloon. She said that she has plenty of other exercises she does too.
Howard said they're honored to have Jonny Lang on guitar today. He said that this guy can play his fucking ass off. Cyndi didn't know that he could curse on the air like that. Howard said he can't, but don't tell anyone.
Howard talked to Jonny about his guitar playing and how he would love to be able to play like him. He said he asked Jonny how many lessons he'd need and Jonny said it would just be a few. Howard said Jonny was considered to be a guitar genius by the age of 15. Jonny said he got to join the band that taught him to play at the age of 13. He started taking lessons at 13. He was singing for the band at the time.
Howard said he was whacking off and reading MAD Magazine when he was 13. He could have been on the road like Jonny.
Howard said Jonny never even got a GED. He went to school until 9th grade and then went out on the road performing. Howard said that the guy can play guitar and he can sing. Howard said he must have gotten tons of pussy. Jonny said he's not even sure what that is. Howard asked Cyndi if her son has gotten any yet. Cyndi said she hopes not. She said they did tell him about the birds and the bees when he was about 8.
Howard asked Jonny how old he is. He said he's 29. Howard asked if he gets laid at a young age. Jonny said that's the myth. He said he lost his virginity at 29. Howard asked when he got married. He got married at 20. Howard asked if he waited until he was married. Jonny said he didn't remember when he lost it. Howard said he was 16 when he lost his. Howard blurted it right out. Jonny didn't want to talk about it.
Cyndi said she lost her virginity at 17 because she was upset that she hadn't lost it yet. Howard asked if she double teamed some guys. She said she didn't but it wasn't very romantic.
Howard asked Cyndi why she did a blues album. Cyndi said that the blues are the basis for everything she does anyway. She wanted to do this album for 8 years. Howard asked why she did the Celebrity Apprentice show. She said she did it to raise awareness for gay couples who aren't allowed to get married and for some charity. Howard said that she also has a gay youth hostel that she's opened up. Cyndi said that she has someone who helped her set that up for these gay, homeless kids. It's not even open yet. Howard asked if they will throw out straight guys who want to stay there. Cyndi said they won't do that.
Cyndi told Howard that she was in a homeless shelter when she was young. She said she left her home and went to Vermont. She said that it was rough at home. Her mother's second husband was kind of rough. Cyndi said she wanted to be a painter.
Howard asked what the step-father did to her. Cyndi didn't say but she's not sure if the guy is still around. She said her mom left him eventually but she wasn't able to leave him at the time because he wouldn't let her. Cyndi said that he was a bully. Howard asked if he came on to her sexually. She said she doesn't want to talk about that. She said she is writing a book though.
Howard said that Cyndi is trying to create this gay homeless shelter and why is she going to let straight kids in. Cyndi said they should work with the straight kids to get him into another home. She said there are places where they can get help.
Howard asked Cyndi how this shelter idea came up. Cyndi told Howard how she got involved with it. Howard said it sounds like she's up to some good and he likes that. Howard asked if it's true that Patti LaBelle is the godmother for her son. Cyndi said that she is. Howard asked if they ever get involved with the child when you do that. Cyndi said that she saw him once and that was it. She said that Patty got ill but to better and she never gets a chance to call her.
Howard said that Steve Rossi made Dean Martin the godfather for his child and Dean never saw him. Howard said the guy even named his kid Dean Martin Rossi and Dean never visited. Robin said she had someone ask her to do that and she knew that she'd never see the kids.
Howard said that Cyndi has put together this band and she's got the genius Jonny Lang in it with her. Fred said the guy has made Blues his own. He said he's a great guitar player. Howard said they have Steve on drums and William on bass. Howard talked to those guys for a minute. Howard asked Cyndi if she was ready to go. She said she was so Howard told her to go right ahead and play. They performed a cover of ''Crossroads.'' They did a cover of the slower blues version of the song and not like the version that Cream did. That's the one Howard really liked.
After the song Howard said he wanted to bang Cyndi during that song. He said he would give her the salami hard if he could. He said he'd like to do that with Jonny too. Cyndi said he's amazing when he's performing. Jonny was playing guitar without a pick so Howard asked Fred why he doesn't do that. Fred said he doesn't do the old blues stuff. Howard told Cyndi that she sounds better than ever. He asked if it drives her crazy when someone like Whitney Houston ruins that instrument. Cyndi said she can't comment on that but it does break her heart when people do that. Cyndi said that you can bring it back though. She said you have to exercise and work that voice out.
Howard said Cyndi still has that great voice and she's keeping it healthy. Cyndi said you have to treat it like a guitar. You have to take care of your instrument to keep it sounding good. Howard said it seemed like Cyndi was trying to seduce him today.
Howard said that they're going to be playing at Town Hall on July 21st. Howard said you can find tour dates at CyndiLauper.com. Cyndi said Jonny is doing his own thing so he's not on tour with her. She said they will meet up at some point to play though.
Howard asked Jonny about getting married at 20 and how he never got to explore all of the pussy. Jonny said he just fell in love. Howard said they'll have to see how that goes. Howard asked if Patti LaBelle is ignoring his kids too. Cyndi got a laugh out of that.
Howard found out that Jonny met his wife when he was just 16. Howard said that she's the only one he's had then. Jonny said ''basically...'' Howard said that's amazing. He asked if he ever tells his wife that he could have had a lot of pussy out there. Jonny said he really has to train for doing an interview with Howard.
Howard said that the reviews that Cyndi is getting would make you think that she's the Messiah. Howard said that one guy was really raving about it. He gave her some more plugs for her album and Jonny's too. Cyndi told Howard about some of the other people who are on her album. She mentioned BB King and a bunch of others. She told Howard about one guy who plays the harmonica and Howard said that's the last instrument he would want to play.
Howard spent some time talking to Cyndi about her husband and family. Howard asked Robin if she was into Jonny and if she would bang him. Robin laughed. Howard said he has a sixth sense about her. Howard said they have learned nothing today. Cyndi said she's going to be at J & R music today doing an album signing. Howard gave her some plugs for the album.
Robin asked what she thinks about Lady Gaga. Cyndi said that she's fine with her dressing the way she does. Howard told Cyndi to strip down like her and show him that she approves of that. Cyndi said that she flipped out at the Yankee game because they were taking pictures of her the whole time. Howard said she showed up in bra and panties so of course they took pictures. Howard said Cyndi must be glad she's not up and coming like that. She'd have to dress in bra and panties to out do Lady Gaga. Cyndi said that's just the way she dresses.
Howard said there must be a lot of pressure to sell records these days. Cyndi said that you can do your own thing now that the internet is where people get their music.
Howard asked Cyndi what her kid is going to do in this realty show she has. She said that the kid won't be in it that much. She said she doesn't take her family on the road with her. She said she will have the kid on once in a while but not in every show. Howard told Cyndi about how he runs with her husband once in a while and he never says a word about Cyndi. Howard wrapped up with Cyndi and went to break a short time later.
Howard asked Fred if that kid Jonny was as good as Clapton. Fred said no. He said Clapton can play anything and he's great. He said there are guys who can play some stuff better in some types of music but not in blues. He said that Clapton is the gold standard. They spent a minute talking about that. Howard said he heard that Clapton is a big fan of Jonny Lang's. Fred said he's heard that too.
Howard came back and had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Bubba the Love Sponge shooting a TV show over the weekend in Chicago. Steve said that they heard it went great and they did some great trash tabloid TV. Steve said that this is a pilot for Tribune. Steve said he wasn't there but it sounded terrific. He said that from what he heard Bubba makes Jerry Springer look like Water Cronkite. Howard said that would be a bid deal for Bubba to get a TV show.
Steve said they also have a story about a lawyer named Howard Stern who is considering changing his name and the guy is a fan of Don Imus. Steve said they have tried calling some other Howard Stern lawyers but one of the guys out on Long Island didn't want to talk to them.
Steve said that a fan ran into High Pitch Eric at his job at Yankee stadium and he was well dressed and well behaved. Howard said he saw pictures of what Eric does and he hands out plastic cups to people who need them. He said he was kind of grossed out when he thought about his sweaty hands being all over the cups he's handing out. He said they should make him wear gloves. They showed pictures of him standing there and Howard said he really should be wearing gloves. Mike Gange came in and said that it was like 100 degrees the day he was there and his hand was literally inside the cup and that's the cup he hands out eventually.
Steve got in a plug for Jackie's Joke Hunt show for today and mentioned the name of tonight's show. Howard said Jackie doesn't have to do his show in puns, they can say dirty stuff there on satellite. Robin explained to Howard that Jackie is stuck in the days of terrestrial radio.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down the list of subjects they have for today's show. They ended up talking about Gary's open mouth sleeping a little bit. They also talked about Gary's book and how he wants Howard to read it. Howard said he may have to have his agent read it. He said he will do it for Gary though. Gary said he thinks that the book will catch Howard's attention and it won't be boring. Howard said he should have his agent read it and take out 90 percent of what he wrote.
Robin started off with a story about a man in south Africa who has an anti-rape female condom. Robin read that the condom is inserted like a tampon and it latches on to any penis that is put in there. It can only be removed by a medical professional. Howard asked where the article is from. Robin said it was an AOL news report. Howard said that product is never going to take off. He said it sounds awfully severe that women have to walk around with a contraption in their vagina.
Howard said he likes to look at women and fantasize but the guys on the street are incredible with the things they say. Howard said they're really rude. Howard said Beth has to put up with that out on the streets. Robin said she saw a guy say a really vile thing to a woman who smiled at the guy as she was standing next to him. Robin said the woman had a look on her face after that. She said it was almost like she wanted the guy to be executed right there. Robin read about how they have 50 rapes reported every day in this city she was talking about. Robin said that's why they need this rape condom down there.
Robin read a story about how some people are calling for salt and trans fats to be removed from foods. Robin said she was on Ferrall's show last night and that was a very fun show to do. She said he had her talking about sports. She said she saw some of the U.S. Open and some tennis so they talked about that. Ferrall is also part of her charity and they're auctioning off a dinner with Ferrall.
Robin read more about the salt and trans fats story. Robin said she's been talking about this for a while now. Robin said they say that it could save 40,000 lives in Britain alone if they did that. Howard asked how late Robin was up if she was on Ferrall's show. Robin said she was in bed by 10. Howard said he doesn't think she gets enough sleep. Robin said her voice is fine today. Howard agreed with her about that.
Robin said that the queen is set to appear at Wimbeldon. Robin said that Andy Murray is upset about that and he may not bow to the queen. Howard said no one should be bowing to anyone these days. Howard said he wouldn't bow either. He said he'd be embarrassed to have anyone bowing to him.
Robin read about the Swedish princess marrying her personal trainer. Howard said that guy has it made now. Howard did his Swedish accent and had some fun goofing around with that story. Howard said that he's not bowing to anyone. He said that trainer is lucky he got to marry that princess. He said he should be ashamed if he's making people bow to him though.
Robin read a story about how the white House is going to be releasing a report about how to end homelessness. Robin said that they will release this report soon and she hopes that it ends shortly.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that there are 6 million fans out there who want to know if he's going to give them a date about whether or not he's coming back. He said he wants to know if he should reinvest or not. The guy asked if he could play a game too. Howard hung up on him and said he was just wasting their time. He never did answer if he's going to give a date to the fans.
Robin read that American Idol still hasn't announced who will replace Simon Cowell. They have some new rules for the show this season though. They've lowered it to 15 years old. Howard said that's no big deal. Robin said the maximum age stays at 28.
Robin read about the Twilight movie fans who are camping outside of the premiere for the movie that happens this Thursday. Howard said they're smart to come out with the movies so fast but he hopes that they put some more time into the story this time. He said the last one was kind of weak. Robin had some audio of the woman who wrote the books talking about the movies. Howard didn't last long listening to that.
Robin read about how Tiger Woods lost his management company about $4.6 million in fees when he lost his endorsement deals. That was just their cut of his deals. Robin said that means that Tiger could have lost $23-30 million in deals. He lost a few deals after his affairs were revealed.
Robin read a story about a new HIV test that can spot the virus in the weeks just after it's been transmitted. Robin said it should be available by the end of the year.
Robin read a story about President Obama playing golf on father's day and how the White House is defending that saying he was just clearing his mind. Some people believe that he shouldn't have been out playing with the oil crisis is going on.
Robin read about CNN's telethon special that had a bunch of celebrities on it. Robin said that Robert Redford was on and she had some audio of him talking about how they should have seen this coming. She had some clips of some other people talking about the telethon. She had audio of Faith Hill, Sting singing and more. Howard said he should have been signing a song people wanted to hear. He said he should have been singing Roxanne. Robin had some audio of Justin Bieber asking people to help out with the oil disaster. Howard said the kid is like 10 and he's telling people what to do. He said he'll listen to Robert Redford and Sting under protest but this kid he won't listen to. Robin had some audio of Lenny Kravitz talking about that too. Howard said he'll listen to Lenny.
Robin read a story about the White House telling people in the gulf to file claims to be compensated in this disaster. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about the filing and how they should start with this immediately if they are hurting already.
Robin read about a woman on Long Island who lost a thumb and two fingers to a fireworks explosion. Robin read about this 25 year old who was hit by an M80 firecracker that was thrown out of a moving car on Halloween. They transplanted her left toe onto her hand. Howard said it really sucks when someone else blows you up. It's one thing when you do it yourself. Her doctor says the toe is large now but it will get smaller as time goes by.
Robin read about the Pakistani American who set the Times Square bomb that didn't go off being in court yesterday and pleading guilty to all of the charges. Howard said they should kill the guy right now. He said he's probably going to end up in jail with Bernie Madoff so the two of them can sit and laugh at everyone.
Robin said there's a Rolling Stone article coming out about how the Pentagon and the White House are at odds. She read some of the details about that and how the people in the Pentagon are upset about Obama and with Joe Biden about their views on the war in Afghanistan.
Robin read about a study that was done that found that botox users may be less prone to showing emotion physically and mentally. It may deaden their real emotions and not just their look. Howard said he saw Raquel Welch on some show and she didn't have any wrinkles on her face. She said they all look odd when they don't have any wrinkles. He said she was looking kind of youthful but it was all pulled way back and it looked very strange. He said they can't show any emotion when they're pulled back like that. Howard said Joan Rivers laughs at funerals because her emotions are all gone.
Robin read about this singer Vanessa Carlton and had Howard play a clip of one of her songs. Howard didn't recognize it. Robin said Vanessa has announced she's a bi-sexual woman. That led to Fred playing some Little Lupe ''Vagina poosy'' and ''penis'' audio clips. Howard said his dream is coming true and the world is going to be full of lesbianism.
Howard said that they have a huge show this Thursday with Little Lupe. They have Dave Lampert coming in with the Sybian and they will be performing for them together. Howard had Fred play some clips of both Little Lupe and Dave Lampert from the time he was on the show. Howard said that was just a little tease for what they have coming up on Thursday.
Robin got back to her news and had some audio of a woman talking about exercising and mentioned walking backwards as one way. Howard said he doesn't get that but a few minutes later he was saying that next year he'll probably be walking backwards. He said he can't imagine doing that in the city though.
Robin had some audio of Cameron Diaz talking about this new movie ''Knight and Day.'' Howard said he read some reviews and they said that the movie is garbage. He was looking forward to it being good though. Robin said she was too.
Robin had some news about the movie Grown Ups and had some audio of the women from the movie talking about that. They had 3 of the women from the show all talking about it. They talked about how they were all adlibbing during the movie. Howard said he learned that you can't do that. He suspects that the women didn't like it.
Robin read about how Eminem is in a new Rihanna song. She had some of that song for Howard to play. Eminem wasn't heard in that clip though. They ended the show after that. It was right around 10:45am.
Jon said that Howard has changed and mellowed over the years but he's still knocking Kathie Lee. He's not as rough on her as he was 10 years ago. Gary said he's heard that Kathie Lee and her family are actually nice people and good guys. He said he's heard that Cody is a good guy too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary is right about the Scott and the camera thing. He said Gary should stick to his guns. He asked Gary if he thinks that they have anything else on the camera that they shouldn't. Gary said there is no sound on the camera so he's not worried about that. He said he has eaten cookies in there on camera so maybe that kind of stuff. Gary said he can't think of anything embarrassing that they'd have. He said sometimes he gets changed in there. He clips his fingernails into the garbage too.
Gary said they have this box in his office that controls the sound to Howard. He said he yanked the plugs out of the camera in the office and now Scott is saying they don't know where the box is that they bought for that camera. Scott told him it could take weeks to find it. He said that Doug just told him that the box is in his office.
Jon said it sounded like the tide was turning toward Gary today. That led to Jon playing a clip of Howard saying he was glad that Scott gave him that tape.
Jon said that Howard and Robin were both shifting toward Gary and not at Scott. Will said Howard was happy to have that tape and that's the bottom line.
Gary said he's not trying to deflect in this. He said he's really mad at Scott. He said that he was mad at Doug too but Scott was the one who gave him his word. That's what's really upsetting him.
Gary said that Scott should have been more for him and not so against him because he was the one who gave him his word. Will said that he thinks that this is like a big fuck you from the TV guys to Gary. Gary said he doesn't think there's that much tension going on there. He said there is always some tension there but it's not as bad as it used to be.
Will said he thinks that the Howard TV guys knew that they'd lose camera privileges but they knew it was good for the show. He said they may have wanted to take Gary down a notch too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that this wouldn't be the Howard Stern Show if they didn't release that tape. Gary asked the guy if he should fold up and cave into Howard's views on stuff if he has an opinion of his own. Gary said that privacy does come into play there. He said that he once took some video of himself and he had a shot of himself naked from behind and they were nice enough not to use that. The caller wasn't saying much so Jon let him go.
Doug came in and said that they had a great piece of tape to show Howard. He said they couldn't just let it go. He said they would do the same thing for Fred if he was found sleeping.
Will said there was another person who worked there at Howard TV show who slept all the time. He said they never showed any tape of that. Will wasn't going to mention any names.
Gary said that he's going to sneak into the Howard TV office and tape people doing stuff they're not supposed to do. He asked Doug if that's alright. Doug didn't know what Gary was talking about when he mentioned that someone might be working on their own web site or something. Gary didn't want to say on the air what it was.
Fred came in and said that Howard had shots of him making goofy faces that he used for the film festival movie he made. He said Doug would do that to him if he had tape of him sleeping or doing something goofy. He said he's on Doug's side in this case.
Jon said that they were thinking it may have been vengeful toward Gary. Fred said he doesn't think that's what it is unless there's something going on he doesn't know about.
Jon asked Doug if Scott is mad at him. Doug said he may have been but he's been off the charts mad about this stuff today. Scott came in and Gary said he really didn't want to do this. Scott said that Gary can't put this on him. He said he can work on his web site back there too while they're doing something that would never make part of the show. Scott said he's been doing this for 17 years and he knows that it's never going to happen. He said that Gary must do personal stuff there too. Gary said that he does what he does and Scott does what he does.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Scott felt vindicated today. Gary said that Scott has no feelings so he can't feel anything. Scott said he has been there 17 years and if you have a tape like that then you give it to Howard. Gary said if they had tape of Doug sleeping there's no way they'd give it to Howard. Will said they have the answer on that because that person fell asleep all the time and no one ever reported it. Jason came in saying he'd have no problem saying that name on the air.
Gary said that Scott makes it seem like his job is very important there. Scott said he has no direct interaction with Howard and the guys. Gary said he does too. Gary said he's not sure what Scott misses and what he doesn't miss back there. Scott said his people know he's good. He said that all of his executive producers tell him how good he is and the raises he gets show that he's good.
Gary said he's seen Scott designing the web site for his Video Caddy. Gary said that if he wants to go toe to toe then he'll bring that up. Scott said he could say that he's learning from his craft. Fred said that Gary could say that he was resting for the next segment on the show when he fell asleep.
Scott said he has to use Adobe Photoshop to do the web site so that's a skill he has to use on the show. Gary said that he could say that playing Sporcle is sharpening his trivia skills for the show. Scott said that sounds good to him.
Gary said Scott also spends a lot of time arguing politics back there. Scott said everyone does that. Will said you have to be able to trust people there to do their jobs though. Gary said that he's not trying to say that he was right for falling asleep at work. He said he's embarrassed by that and he has told Howard that off the air.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about the time frame on the tape and when it was that Gary was out. Scott said they saw him sleeping for about 5 minutes. He said they only got a few seconds of that on tape. The guys said that it was during the show though.
Jason asked why they didn't go to Howard with a note and tell him about the sleeping. Scott said they were in the middle of the Bang My Dad segment. They were also trying to figure out if they should give the tape to Howard.
Jon asked Fred if he thought there was something more to this than just this tape. Fred said it sounds like there is. Gary said there really wasn't a problem before this. Will said that Gary used to complain about Scott before though. Gary said he would just say that Scott made him crazy over the arguments they'd have. He really didn't have a problem with the guy before this. Will thought they did. He said that even though Gary thinks that there wasn't something going on, there actually was.
Gary said that it was Scott who looked him in the eye and told him that he wouldn't use anything from that camera. Scott said that Doug was the one who decided to roll tape. He said it was Doug who decided to go to Howard with it too. Gary said he should have fought hard to keep him from giving him the tape.
The guys were going back and forth with this argument. Scott was still putting the blame on other people and not accepting it. Jon said he doesn't get why Doug has the ultimate say in this whole thing. Scott said that it was Doug's idea to bring the tape to Howard. Scott said he did tell Doug that Gary was going to be pissed. He said he wanted Doug to know that it could be tough. Scott said he might fight harder for someone he's closer to like Will.
Jason asked Doug if Scott had a choice in handing over the tape. Doug said it was a collaborative effort. He said he didn't have to overrule him. Fred said Doug was at the top though. He said that Doug is the one who makes the decision to get that tape to Howard. Will said that Doug was given the tape by Scott. Scott said he did give him the tape and there was a mild argument over it. Doug said that they labored over it and they knew what the outcome could be. Doug said that they did discuss it and they ultimately decided to give the tape to Howard.
Jon told Gary he should be mad at Doug. Gary said he was mad at Doug. Scott said that he told Doug they had that deal. Gary said that it makes him angry when he hears that from Scott because he still let the tape go. Gary said he knows that Doug is the boss back there but it gets very muddy when they talk about this kind of thing.
Doug said he didn't know about this deal that Gary had. Jon asked Doug if he knew about the agreement or not. Scott said he told Doug but Doug was saying that he didn't know so it was very unclear what had actually gone on. Scott said that's bullshit because Doug knew about other stuff that Gary has done that they didn't put on the air.
Scott said there was a time when Don was in the office and they saw some stuff. He didn't want to get into that though. He said it had to do with certain people on the show. He said they saw that meeting and it was about Artie. Gary said that was work though and they couldn't hear what he was saying. He was just working that day. Scott said he's just saying that they saw something that they shouldn't have. He said Doug knew that they shouldn't talk about that.
Jon said that Scott is being very vague about this and he's doing that on purpose. Gary said they're just saying that Doug knew not to put some stuff up on the air. Scott said that they knew not to put it on the air or even discuss it.
Fred said that Scott should stop throwing people under the bus and just apologize. Scott said he did that on that day. Gary said he came in and lost his temper and Doug looked at the ground and saw what was wrong. Scott flipped around and called him a hypocrite. That's what pissed him off.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that this isn't rocket science and he fell asleep for a few minutes. He said he wasn't caught jacking off or anything. He told them to get off the subject.
Doug said that if Gary had just laughed it off then maybe it would have changed everything. Gary said he still would have pulled the camera plug out that day.
Ralph called in and said that he thinks this is wonderful. He said that he can't hear them very well though. He said there's a lot of smoke and mirrors going on here. He said that it's misdirected anger on Gary's part. He said that the point is that he fell asleep on the job and he got caught. He said that's like Gary getting caught knifing someone. Scott said this is just the show and that's what they do there.
Gary said that you have to take into account what the tape was. He said he doesn't want people to see this kind of thing and he is the one who gets to figure out what he wants people to see. He said that if they have a whole reel of other stuff then they're real scumbags. Jason said he's heard things and he's seen some video of stuff of Gary doing things in there. Will said he's seen some stuff too. Gary said if they're showing stuff around that they promised not to show then he's an idiot for falling for the whole thing.
Scott asked Will if he had anything to do with it. Scott said he didn't. Gary said he's a liar. Ralph said they know that the tape exists. Scott said he really has to go. Gary said Scott is such a piece of shit. He said he's the one in charge of it. Scott said he has nothing to do with it.
Gary asked Scott if he knows of a tape that's floating around. Scott said he knows nothing so Gary called him a fuckin lying scumbag. Jon said that he had the smile creeping across his face whenever he said he didn't know.
Ralph was just laughing. The guys were all laughing and Scott was staying quiet. Doug said there is no reel of stuff about Gary. Gary said he knows there has to be something. He said the way Scott is laughing shows him that there is a tape. He said Scott is disgusting.
Ralph said that Scott is the one who struck the deal with Gary. Scott said he did it on behalf of Howard TV and it's not a personal deal. Gary said Scott said to him that he would never show anything off that camera at any time. He said that it wasn't even about showing it on air. He said it was ''ever'' not just ''on air.'' Gary said the guy is soulless. Scott said Gary doesn't even know what he's talking about. He said he doesn't even know if he had anything to do with what Will saw or didn't see. Gary said he knows Scott has knowledge of it.
Ralph said Gary should have been blocking the camera all the time. He wouldn't trust anyone there. Gary said that's his stupidity for trusting them there. He said he's not sure why he did but he knows he doesn't anymore.
Fred asked Scott if he thought he was going to keep that promise to Gary to never show any tape or did he make a bona fide offer to him. Scott said that he didn't make the final decision there. Fred wanted him to explain the initial agreement. Scott was still deflecting about that. Howard walked by at that point and shook his finger at Scott.
Gary said he's done with Scot and everyone knows how he feels about him. Jon had some more questions for Scott. He asked Scott if there is any honor there or not. Scott said they have done a lot of hidden camera stuff there. Jon asked why he would get so mad at Jason for playing into that kind of thing there then. Scott said that it's not the same thing. He said what he got angry at Jason for twas the Video Caddy thing. He said that he's the one person that they get mad at for the personal stuff that they do. Scott said he just decided to argue with Jason about that.
Jason said he's been attacked by Scott for bringing stuff up on the air. Scott said that Will is the one who puts up the notes on the computer all the time so he's doing the same thing to people. Fred asked Scott if he has agreements with them though. Scott said no... but if he goes out with Will somewhere he doesn't think that he's going to rat him out to Howard because they're friends.
Jason said he thinks that Doug plays a larger role in this than they think. He said that Scott is like the guy from BP who is placing the blame on other people.
Jason said that Scott can't say that he doesn't know what's going on around him back there. Scott said he has never taped Gary when he's been doing something he thinks they don't know about. Jason said that other people could do that and Scott would know. Scott said that he might know if they're laughing about something. They had to take a break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up Gary's book (They Call Me Baba Booey) that he has in the works. He said that he's happy for him but he'd like to know if he thinks that Howard thought about giving him the time to read it after he mentioned the 25 years thing. Gary said he thinks that Howard didn't want to read it and he did it just for the radio. Fred suggested that Gary have Scott write the foreword for the book.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Howard will read his book when it comes out. Gary said he does. He thinks that the cover is ready to go and he was pretty much going with it even though he did ask for Howard's opinion.
Jon asked Fred if he thinks that Howard will read the book. Fred said he thinks he will and he will like whatever is in the book. He doesn't think that it'll be anything upsetting to anyone. Gary said he knows that Beth would read the book if he sent it to her. Scott asked if he can read it. Gary said he can read it when it comes out. It's $19.95.
Robin showed up and said that she can't believe this is still going on. Gary told Robin what they were talking about and how they believe they have other tape that they show behind his back. Scott said he has never shown anyone anything. Robin said that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Gary said he's very upset about this. Scott said he had nothing to do with anything else. Robin said that he knew about it though and he's the one setting the tone back there. Robin said he's not a leader if he's letting that go on back there.
Robin said that Scott is responsible for this but Scott said that Doug is his boss and he can't tell them to erase any tape. Jon said he could have reminded Doug that they had that agreement. Scott said he has done that from time to time. Gary asked how many times this has happened. Scott said that from time to time means what he was talking about earlier about seeing stuff going on in there. It doesn't mean that Gary was doing anything wrong.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that his problem is with Scott. He said he would punch him right in the head if he was there. The guy had asked Scott not to interrupt him but Scott did anyway. The guy told him to come meet him and he'll show him.
Gary said that Jon only takes the calls from people who feel like shit and that's what he's doing right now. Jon took another call from a guy who said that he just turned it on and heard Gary threatening to throw Scott out of there. He said that he's like a baby. The guy said that Gary fell asleep and no one can do that at work. He said he's a pussy for complaining about this. Gary said he has no leverage over Scott and this isn't any other company.
Fred did a quick impression of Scott pitching a tape of Gary sleeping and throwing in the Gary picking his ass tape for free as if it were a commercial. Fred said that must be Scott's golden parachute for when Howard retires.
Jon asked Scott if there are more tapes out there. He said that Scott is the one who made the deal with Gary. Scott said that everyone knew about the deal. He said he's not the only one who had that deal with Gary. Scott said if there is other tape of Gary back there, can he erase it. Gary said it shouldn't have ever been recorded. Scott said he had nothing to do with it though. Gary said that's not his problem. Scott should have told Gary that they were taping him behind his back. Scott said they've never used that tape. Gary said that didn't matter. They were all still arguing as the show came to an end.
Howard started the show talking about the clips of Tim Sabean that Fred was playing as they started off. He said that Tim used to be known as Tim Kelly in radio. He changed his name for the air. They have to interview him about that.
Howard said there were a lot of fireworks about Scott and Gary yesterday. He said that people's feelings are getting hurt now. He said he has to deal with that since he's been brought into the whole thing.
Howard said that Chris Mad Dog Russo will be stopping by today. He's got some kind of contest going on with his show. Howard took a call from a guy whose phone was very noisy. They joked about how he was down in the Gulf of Mexico pumping oil out of there. The caller said he was sorry about the noise. The guy said he hopes Howard stays but whatever. Howard said he's so tired this morning he doesn't think he's going to stay. He said that Mel has him convinced that they have to be on this early though. Howard said he doesn't get why they have to do that when they repeat the show all day long.
Howard said he was up late lst night. Beth was out hosting some event. He said he can't fall asleep when She's not home. He said he watched her show ''True Beauty'' while She was out. Robin said they have a pretty crazy chick on that show and She's not sure why they don't get her help.
Howard said he had to go because of the guys phone noise. The caller said they shouldn't be doing the Best of the Week and they should do the Wrap Up Show on Friday. He said that the show was amazing yesterday. Howard said that's why he talked to Gary yesterday. They were talking about what they were talking about on the Wrap Up Show.
Howard said he's all over the place so he has to tackle just one subject. He said he's not sure how to help the situation with Gary and Scott. He said they keep going over the same thing. Robin said more details keep coming out about it.
Howard said he got a note from Scott DePace who sent him a picture of the radio while they were discussing it. He said they had a poll going that asked if Scott was a dick and Jason put that up. Scott said that's not what happened. He said that Jason just put on the PDT that ''Scott sucks.'' Gary said that was actually during the regular show.
Howard said that is kind of an editorial comment. Jason said it wasn't an editorial. He said that he just had ''Scott Sucks while Gary Sleeps.'' He said it wasn't about Scott, that's just what everyone was saying about Scott during that conversation. He said that Tim signs off on all of those PDT things too.
Jason said that he changed it from Scott is a moron to Scott sucks. Howard said it did come off in the wrong way. He said it seemed that Jason was taking out his own frustrations against Scott. Jason said that wasn't coming from him personally.
Howard said he got that email last night and he wrote back to Scott that he was right so he'd talk to Gary and Tim about it. He said he didn't know who did what so he had to look into it. Howard said he was dealing with that and then he got a note from Gary about how he was furious with Scott too. He said he had also asked Tim about what was going on and didn't hear back from him.
Howard said Gary is upset about the camera in his studio and how this has been ongoing for years. He said Scott wasn't going to go on the Wrap UP Show anymore but then he went in yesterday. Scott said he can't sit back and listen to them talking about him without going in there.
Howard said DePace told Gary that they had a reel of stuff of Gary and they've witnessed him doing private things. Scott said that's not what he said. Gary said they are sitting there watching stuff that they shouldn't look at.
Scott came in and said there is no reel that he's seen that he knows of. He said he swears on his kids that he knows nothing of a reel. Scott also said that camera was on all the time and he's seen some stuff going on in there and he saw Don Buchwald, Howard's agent, in the office and he shut the monitor off. He said he saw Don was in the building and that was it. Gary asked why he brought that up to hold it over his head. Scott said that's not what he was talking about. He said Doug said he didn't know the deal existed and he said that was bullshit so he used that as an example.
Howard said he told Gary this morning to drop the topic. He said it's enough already. Gary said he can't just drop it because it looks bad to the audience. Gary said it will die a natural death.
Scott said he had nothing to do with making a display of Gary's camera and taking it out on him is not his fault. He said that he can't block his eye. Gary said that he just found out that he turned that monitor off for that Don story. That was new news.
Gary said that the camera is gone now. He's not going to allow them to have a box at all anymore. Scott said that will save them $1,500 then. He said that they lost the box that they supposedly had in there. Howard told Scott they should have bought that box 4 years ago. Howard said he wouldn't allow that on him in his office. Howard said he picks his ass and nose in his office. He said he put in an hour of work sleeping in his office. Howard said a lot of the interns have been very loud lately while he's trying to sleep. He said there are a lot of giggling women back there. Gary said he'd look into that.
Howard said he thought it was Robin but JD told him it was some of the girls having fun there. Howard said they have to put a stop to the fun they're having around there. Howard said he's very sensitive to women laughing around him. He said it makes him think that they're laughing at him.
Howard said he got a note from Scott about the PDT yesterday and Gary was happy about that. Scott said he had to go to Howard about it because he knew that Gary wouldn't help him out. Howard said Scott was right that Gary was the wrong guy to talk to.
Robin said that they have to do something about this. She said they're not going to be able to see Gary anymore. Gary doesn't want that box in there anymore. Howard said he would like Gary to have that camera on in there. Gary doesn't want it. He said he wants the ability to turn it off and on himself. He could forget to shut it off though. Gary said they have to set it up so it's off after he's done talking. They can have a timer on it so it shuts off after 2 minutes. Gary said he'd be okay with that.
Howard said Gary fell asleep one time in 40 years and that's it. Scott said he's never even seen Gary pick his nose so he's not sure why he's so upset about this. Howard said he's afraid that people are going to think that he sleeps all the time.
Gary said his skin is very thick but Scott went after his work ethic and that hurt. He said he didn't accept that it was his fault. Scott said that he did accept that it was partially his fault. Howard said he's not accepting that it was his fault. Scott said he did. Howard said Scott taped a camera that Gary was on and they had this pact to bring it to him. Howard said Gary is upset that he broke this pact he had with Gary. Scott said he gets that part.
Howard said Scott just can't accept that it was his fault and he always adds the ''but'' to his apology. Gary said that it was about the two of them. He said that Scott should have stopped the whole thing. Scott said he's just going to accept it because he wants to get this over with. Gary said it's like talking to a cinder block when he's trying to explain this to Scott. He said he now knows where the term block head came from. Scott said he's not going to take all of the blame for this. Howard said he isn't taking it all. Gary is upset with Doug too but Scott just isn't accepting his part of this.
Howard said Scott should take blame for his part in this and stop blaming everyone else for it. Scott said that he has. Howard said they should just agree to hate each other and move on. Gary said this should have been over on the first day.
Gary said through all of this he found out that they've been watching him back there and that Scott would defend Will before he'd put up a fight for him. Scott said that's true and he would defend Will over Gary because he's closer friends with him. Howard said Scott is retarded. He said he would be the worst person in a deposition. He said he keeps digging the hole deeper and deeper. He can't just say yes or no.
Howard told Scott he has to stop talking. Scott said he's just telling the truth. Howard said he's going into areas he doesn't have to go into. He said he keeps trying to dig Scott out of this but he keeps digging himself back into the hole. Howard said he can't help him.
Robin said Scott didn't have to disclose this stuff he's disclosing. Scott said that Howard has taught him to be honest. Howard said he didn't teach him this.
Scott thinks that Gary would defend Jason before he'd defend him. Robin said Gary would never break a pact with Scott to defend Jason though. Howard said he thinks he probably would.
Howard said he's glad he saw the tape of Gary sleeping but Scott was wrong for breaking that pact. Howard said he's wrong about that and he accepts responsibility for taking the ''stolen goods.'' Howard said he's taking that responsibility and Scott should accept his.
Scott said he's sorry for breaking his word to Gary. He said he's sorry for not defending him more when Doug wanted to bring the tape to Howard. Howard told Scott to forget Doug. He has to just stop. Howard told Scott he just sucks at this. He told Jason to put up that he sucks on the PDT thing again.
Howard said he's not sure what to do. This has been going on since last Thursday. They've been on it for almost a week now. As Scott was walking out of there he said that Gary is thin skinned. Howard said Gary is anything but thin skinned. He puts up with a lot of stuff around there.
Howard said this is longer than the 6 days war. He said they just keep going with this war. That led to Howard talking about Israel and the Arabs and how that war went. Howard said it's embarrassing for the Arabs. He said it's like an 80 year old guy beating his ass.
Howard said he plays chess sometimes and he plays against guys who keep playing until they win one game against you. He said that he'll beat them like 5 times before they win one game. Then the other person logs off and disappears.
Gary said he's listening to Scott out in the hallway snickering and talking about him. He said it sickens him and it makes him really ill. Scott came back in and asked what happened. Howard said Gary gave up and it's hard to listen to him.
Scott said Ronnie was out there asking why they were doing the interview in the hallway. Howard said he doesn't know why Ronnie is directing traffic out there. Scott said that he's sorry to Gary again. Gary said Scott is only saying this because he was embarrassed into saying it.
Howard asked Gary how bad this is to him. He said he's never seen Gary this angry at anyone. Gary said he was at an 11 out of 10. Gary said his wife thinks that he should go to Human Resources over this. Scott said Gary knew the camera was on and it wasn't a hidden camera. Howard said going to HR is kind of girly. Gary said he knows that and his wife was wrong about it.
Howard asked Gary if he would invite Scott to a party at this point. Gary said no. He said he doesn't think Scott would show up though. Howard asked if he would give the Heimlich to Scott if he was choking. Gary said he would but only so he wouldn't have his death on his conscience. Howard asked if he would go to a family funeral if Scott had a death in the family. Gary said he would go if it was his wife.
Gary said he saw Scott in the garage that they both go to and he wanted to get past it. He said yesterday he was okay with it but today he didn't want to walk on the same side of the street. Gary said he was throwing stuff in his face yesterday that really pissed him off.
Scott wasn't sure why he was upset about that. Gary said he was watching a meeting he shouldn't have been watching. Scott asked if he's mad at Will for this. Gary said he's not because it was Scott who got them all into this.
Howard asked Gary why he would go to Scott's wife's funeral. Gary said he likes her. Howard said She'd be dead though. Gary said he still likes her.
Howard said Scott keeps deflecting and he can't make a sincere apology. Scott said that he wasn't the one who brought up that thing that Will brought up. Howard said Scott used it against Gary and said that he's seen a lot of stuff that he hasn't brought out. Howard said they should chain Gary and Scott together for 24 hours and let them work it out.
Howard asked Gary if he saw Scott being anally raped with a bat... Scott cut him off and said that would never happen. He said he could fight off more guys than the other guys could.
Gary said Scott walked up to him about 3 weeks ago and said that he'd bet that his credit score was higher than his. Scott said he was just joking. Scott said he heard Gary do a commercial and he was just referring to that.
Howard asked how they'd compare credit scores. Scott said there are numbers out there. He said he was just joking though.
Howard said Sal and Richard wanted to come in there and see if they could get Scott into a rape position. Scott told him to bring it on. Howard didn't actually want to do that though.
Scott said he's upset with Howard for letting Gary kill the camera in there too. Howard said he can't do anything about that. He said Gary doesn't do everything he says. Howard said he takes full responsibility for some stuff and he can't protect him from this. He said he's not the Godfather. Howard said Scott should go wash Gary's feet. Fred said he should lick his bunion too. They talked about how he has toe fungus so Gary mentioned that Scott has it too.
Howard said he knows that Beth gets hit on everywhere. He said he doesn't have that jealous thing going on because he knows it's going to happen.
Howard said Richie Notar and Ralph were there so they all went out to drink after the event. Howard said there's this whole big thing going on and he's not included. Howard said he doesn't like that. He's been telling his shrink that and they call that advanced narcissism. Robin said She can't believe She's the 34. Howard said Robin is the best narcissist and he's second best.
Howard said he was out when Beth got home around midnight. He said he was up late though. Howard said he was watching that new lesbian show. Howard said it's a reality ''The L Word.'' Howard said he got bored with that original show. He said that Beth was really into it. He said that was kind of interesting to him that She had a crush on one of the girls in that show. Howard said he was thinking there could be a threesome in his future when that was going on.
Howard said this new show is about real lesbians. He said he was watching it but the lesbians are about as boring as anyone. He said if they're not having sex they're really boring. Howard said one of the women was really cunty and was getting mad at the models She had hired for some ad campaign. Howard said it wasn't putting them in a good light.
Howard said there were some other girls who were really upscale and they came off poorly too. He said they were two Jewish lesbians acting weird. He said he was thinking that they'd be upsetting some people who are on the fence about liking lesbian.
Howard thought they'd be more advanced about relationships but they're all doing the same shit that anyone else would do. He said that's why they should have equal rights about marriage and all of that. He said they're the same as anyone else.
Howard said at one point they went back to George's old home and visited with the guy who owns it now. He said it was very emotional. He said Steve is really good in it too. He said he did a good job with that and he's anxious for them to air it.
Howard said he'd like to know what the difference is between a project and an initiative. He said that's what Tim talks about. Fred had a clip of Tim saying that. Robin said She thinks that the initiative is something that is in the works and a project is something that's already in production. Howard said Tim is like the president. Fred played a bunch of clips of Tim talking and tried to figure him out.
Tim came in and said that they're sending George a copy of that special and he should have it this morning. Fred played more of the clips of Tim for Tim.
Howard asked Tim if he thinks the Scott and Gary thing is going too far. Tim said it is and they have to stop it. He said he may step in to help put an end to it.
Howard said he gets woozy talking to Tim about all of the stuff they have going on there. He said he has to meet over some stuff with Tim over vacation. He said he has to meet with Tim and Gary at some point. He said he's going to give them his vision for what they're going to do while they're still there. Howard said he'd like to spell out the future of radio to them.
Howard said Tim wanted to know what he wants to do if he stays there when his contract is up. Howard said he has had a lot of people asking what they're going to do if he stays there. They have about 6 months left there and he gets so excited when he hears that he's free in that time. Howard said it wouldn't feel like such a prison term if he could sleep in a little longer.
Howard said he has to waddle over to where he keeps his baby wipes because he forgets to bring them. He said that his belt is hitting the floor and he has to drag it over there. He said the baby wipes have Teddy bears on them. He said there's nothing to read on the box or anything like that.
Howard said the person who buys them doesn't know better than to buy the regular wipes for him. He said he won't buy that stuff himself. Howard said he has hair down there so he has to squeegee them first. Then he pokes into his asshole trying to get all of the remnants out. He said he starts throwing the baby wipes into the toilet so he has to flush each wipe, one at a time. Howard said the baby wipes are flushable too. He said sometimes he pokes his finger through the wipes because they're like wet down toilet paper.
Howard said the remnants don't go down so he has to reach in with toilet paper and wipe them out so his cleaning woman doesn't see that. He said he has to do that and then wash his hands. He said he has to flush about 10 times per doody. Howard said they didn't consult him about the water saving toilets. Howard said they just put them in without asking. He said they claim that it's required but he doesn't believe that.
Howard said it doesn't save water because he has to flush so much. Robin said there are some toilets that do work with low water. Howard said his guy tells him that he can't fix these toilets though. Howard said he used to have great water pressure in the apartment but now things are worse.
Howard said he fell in love with Beth and She needed more room so that's why they started this renovation. Howard said he should just shit in a bag like his dog does. He said that would solve his problem. He wondered why we don't shit like dogs. He said we shouldn't need toilet paper. He said we should just let it drop off.
Howard said he hates that he has to eat something all the time. He said Beth didn't eat anything all day yesterday because She was going out in that dress. Howard said he couldn't do that. He said he had to go to break after that. He said they have Chris Russo coming in for a quick visit later on. He said he hates talking about sports so it will be a quick visit. That led to them talking about how Jerry Seinfeld has come out against Lady Gaga at the Yankee game. He said that Jerry doesn't like to get into anything controversial but he's come out against Lady Gaga. He and Robin spent a minute on that before they had to take that break.
Howard came back and spent a minute talking about Perry Farrell since he worked with him on a video. Howard didn't even know what that song was about. Robin had to explain it to him. Howard said he's not sure what he's even saying in the song. Robin told him line after line what he was singing about. Howard said he never know that. Robin said She loves the song. Howard said he has to write a cool song like that. He just sits in his apartment all day so he'd have to write about that. He came up with some lyrics about his toilet flushing.
Howard didn't understand anything that Perry was singing so Fred and Robin were both helping him figure it out. Howard wasn't sure how they knew what he was saying. Howard said he loved the song but had no clue what it meant. He said that's just like ''Levon'' that they were talking about yesterday. He said he got some notes about that in the email about that explanation he had for it yesterday.
Howard said he thought it was cool when Cyndi Lauper came in and did that song with Jonny Lang. Howard said they say that Jonny sounded like that when he was 15 years old. Howard said that's pretty amazing that he sounded that way back then and still sounds that good. Howard said the kid is way cool playing the guitar too. He said it was very entertaining to watch.
Howard said some people said Cyndi sounded like an old black woman while She sang. Howard didn't think that was true. Fred said She sounded like Sippie Wallace to him. Howard asked him to find some examples of her to compare. Fred found one song and played that for Howard. He wasn't sure how prevalent She'd be in the song. Howard said She did kind of sound like Cyndi.
Howard replayed Cyndi's performance from yesterday. He said he loves that song. Robin said she didn't sound like Sippie to her. Howard said he got a kick out of watching that yesterday. Fred threw in a clip of Crackhead Bob saying Mississippi as ''Sippie Sippie'' as the song was playing. He threw in some other Crackhead Bob clips too and they fit right into the song.
Howard said he should have been in a band. He said he would have gotten a lot more pussy. He said that Jonny guy was interesting because he's still banging the same chick he had at 16. Howard said he wanted to hear Leslie West come in on that song too. He said it was great and he could listen to it all day.
Howard said that Jerry Seinfeld called into WFAN yesterday. He said Jerry was on there and the guy asked him what he thought about Lady Gaga showing up in bra and panties at the Yankees game. Howard said that Jerry doesn't want any controversy in his life. He said he's got that Seinfeld money. Chris asked what he did make on that. Howard said he heard from someone that Jerry and Larry David both made $750 million on the DVD sales. Howard said he's never heard it work like that. He said they had like 5 seasons of the show. Howard said that number has to be syndication and DVD sales. Howard said that Larry gave away half to his ex but Jerry has it all.
Howard said that he'd retire if he had that kind of money. Chris said you have to have something to do every day. Chris said he'd go nuts if he spent his days home all the time. Howard said Seinfeld called up WFAN and talked about the Mets or whatever. Howard said Seinfeld didn't say anything about Lady Gaga at first. Howard said he wouldn't want to do anything like that either if he was sitting home all the time.
Howard said this guy kept pressing Jerry on the question and then Jerry said that Lady Gaga was a jerk for doing what she did. Howard said Jerry had dodged the question at first but then broke down. Howard said they actually put her in Jerry's luxury box there. Jerry got upset about that and went off on Lady Gaga.
Howard said that Jerry used to come on his show but once he didn't need him he stoped coming on. Howard said his father loves his TV show. Howard said he never got into it.
Howard asked Chris if that offends him. Chris said he could care less. He said that he doesn't care about what she does or not. Chris said he wants sports and this is just a publicity stunt. He said that the fan that was tazered should have just stayed off the field too. Howard said they should shoot people dead when they run on the field. Chris said that's kind of harsh. Howard said it's really not. He said he'd never run on a field.
Howard asked Chris about this screw up he had about some player that was out. Chris said he just made a mistake and it was a big one. He said that it slipped his mind. Chris said there's so much going on right now.
Howard said that Chris has been critical of the company for getting the rights for the World Cup Soccer. Chris said he thinks they get caught up in some sporting events that they don't need to. He said that there aren't that many people listening to SIRIUS for World Cup Soccer. Howard said Chris would rather have them put money into something other than the World Cup. Chris said they like that stuff though. He said there are a lot of people watching it. Howard said he knows people watch it and people do love it. He said he goes to a lot of restaurants early in the day and he hears these guys talking about soccer every minute.
Chris said that the bosses there are wrapped up in the international events. Howard asked if they're spending too much on this. Chris said he's not sure what they're spending. Howard said Chris was upset about them spending money on it. Chris said he just doesn't think that the guys with SIRIUS are the ones listening to soccer. Chris admitted he's not that into soccer but he has to watch it because that's part of his job.
Howard asked Chris about what he reads and how he keeps up with sports. Chris reads 4 papers and they had left out that one story that he screwed up on over the weekend.
Chris said he hates all of the New York teams. He said that he would never have been in that committee to welcome Lebron James to the city. He said he can't believe that any of those guys are on that committee. He went off on some of those guys and said that Lebron isn't going to come to New York. Howard said he doesn't think that he'll come because the fans will blame him for any losses they have. Chris was explaining how the Knicks could get two good players for the upcoming season but then the rest of the teams would suck and the Knicks would be the only good team.
Howard talked about why he didn't join that committee. He said he wanted nothing to do with it. Chris said that Boomer Esiason is on that committee and he thinks that he hates basketball. Howard said that the idea was to tell Lebron how great the lifestyle is in New York and they got guys with a lot of money on the committee. Howard said he's not going to suck balls to anyone though.
Howard asked Chris if he curses on his show at all. Chris said that he has said ''god damn it'' but that's about it. He said that he can't curse like Howard does. Howard asked him if he ever says cunt. Chris said he can't do that. Chris will say son of a bitch but that's about as far as he'll go.
Howard asked Chris if he thinks that Tiger Woods is dead. Chris said that his appeal is gone but his golf game is not gone yet. He said he's played in 5 tournaments and he's finished in the top 5. He said he will get it together and he will do well and beat Jack Nicklaus' record. Chris said this thing has probably taken its told on him but he has a few more years left in him and he can win 6 more tournaments in the next 10 years or so. Chris said he thinks that Tiger can keep it together.
Howard asked Chris if he ever thinks about Tiger's wife Elin. Chris said he really doesn't. Howard was trying to get Chris to say he'd like to fuck her but Chris wasn't going there.
Howard asked Chris about who he would rather be with, Elin or Cameron Diaz. Chris said he might have to go for Elin. He said that the woman who was on Letterman before him was hot too. That was Salma Hayek. Howard asked if he's ever had a tongue up his ass. Chris told him to stop with that.
Howard and Chris talked about their letterman appearances and Howard said he's not in the mood to go on Letterman right now. He was saying that he will do the show again at some point. Howard said Beth is going to be on Jimmy Fallon on Thursday. He may go over there but he won't go on the show.
Chris asked Howard about Leno. Howard said he's not a fan. He said that he thinks that Leno is a phony. Howard said he worked for NBC himself and they fired him. He went off to go up against them on another station. Leno has no integrity and he stayed with NBC even after they fired him. Howard said Conan never should have left his job at 12:30. Howard said NBC went to Leno and fired him even though he was number one. Howard said Leno should have gone to FOX and gone up against NBC.
Howard said Leno also lied to Conan saying he wasn't going to stand in Conan's way when he was asked if he was okay with Jay coming on before him and moving his show to midnight. Howard said Leno fucked Conan over.
Chris said Conan wasn't able to get any ratings in that 6 months he was there. Howard said he gets that Conan wasn't getting ratings and NBC had to do something. It was the way that Leno handled it that he didn't like.
Howard talked to Chris about Ben Roethlisberger and what he did. Chris was skeeved out by that whole thing. Howard asked who the best tennis player who ever lived was. Chris said that Federer is an amazing player. He said that it may actually be Laver. He said McEnroe was good but not the greatest of all time. Chris and Robin went over some other people who were great players.
Howard and Chris talked about movies too. They were talking about ''The Messenger'' and how great that was. Chris didn't see that one. He said he liked ''Up In the Air.'' He said he liked ''Crazy Heart'' too. Howard asked Chris if he likes women shaved or unshaved. Chris told him to please stop with that.
Howard asked Chris what his wife has. Chris said he's going to get in so much trouble over this. Howard asked if he likes shaved or unshaved. Chris said he likes natural. Howard said he must like retro bush. Howard said he likes fully shaved, bald as can be. He said he likes it nice and clean down there.
Howard and Chris were also talking about exercise and how many pull ups they can do. Howard said he can do two sets of 10 and 8 like Chris can do. Chris said he just turned 50. Howard said it sucks when you get that age. He said it didn't bother him at first but it does now. He said you really slow down after 50.
Chris said he wanted to talk about Howard's future. Howard told him to go right ahead. Chris asked Howard if the decision making hinges on loyalty to Mr. Karmazin. Howard said yes. Howard said he cares about the guy. Chris said that if he leaves it will be very difficult. Howard said it would. He said Mel wasn't even there when he started though. He said he believed in satellite radio. Howard said it's important to have it. Howard said he loves doing the actual broadcast. Howard said the car business is coming back and the subscriptions are going up too.
Howard said Mel is a good man and he's honest. He said there a lot of creeps out there and Mel always honors the contract. Chris asked if he wants to work just 3 days. Howard said he wants more time off and he needs it. He said he would like to work only 2 days a week actually. Chris said he has to work 4 days, the place needs him.
Chris asked Howard if he thinks they can survive without him. Howard said he thinks they can. He said that he is loyal to the guys there. Chris said that some people may not come there if they know Howard isn't there. Howard said he feels that way toward his team there. He said he has a loyalty toward them. Howard said he knows where he would go if he leaves this place. Howard said he has been in talks with people all this time. Howard said he doesn't want to say which way he's leaning right now. Chris asked if they are in negotiations yet. Howard said they want to talk. He said that he's done at the end of December. He can go work wherever he wants in January.
Chris asked if he really is leaning in one way or the other. Howard said he is. He's not saying which way that is though.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Chris Russo impression. Sour had his laugh down and he was even playing along with the not cursing thing. Sour then called Scott Ferrall a cunt. The real Chris went nuts when he heard that. Sour did more of his Ferrall impression for Russo. He'd go back and forth doing the two voices. The real Chris thought it was great. Then Sour broke into some Bruce Springsteen music. Chris said that Ferrall is doing a great job there. He said he gives him credit for that.
Howard said Chris has his own channel there and they're doing this promotion. Chris said they're looking for sports talk hosts for his channel. He said it's not easy to find people. They're going to start next Tuesday looking for tapes from people. They have to be 5 minutes in length and they can be from guys who have done radio before or not. He said they'll pick 5 and they'll all come on the air on August 18th. They'll have their own show on his channel after that.
Howard asked Chris if he is happy now that he's working on his own. Chris said he has a long show to do so it is tough but he is happy. He said he could see using the new guy to help him out once or twice a week. He said that the guys there at SIRIUS came up with this idea and they have a budget for the person who gets the job. They're going to pock 5 then 2 out of the 5. He said they'll then pick the winter out of the two. He said they'll do a bunch of shows over the next month on the weekends. He said they'll fly the person in and fly them back and forth for every other weekend. He said they're really spending money on this too.
Howard said there was a rumor that Mike Francesa, Chris' old partner, had applied for the job. Chris said he'd have to submit a tape just like anyone else. You can find out more about how to enter at Sirius.com/MadDogRadio.
Howard asked Chris if he gets sick of talking about sports. Chris said he absolutely does. He said he loves his job though. He said it can be tough on some days but he still loves the work. Howard has been doing it for 30 years or so and he gets tired of getting up at 4 in the morning.
Howard asked what kind of watch he had on. Chris said it was a Rolex that his wife got him. He said he loves it. He said he thinks that it was probably a 3 or $4,000 watch. Howard asked if the wife works. He said she doesn't so Howard said she used his money to buy the watch.
Howard and Chris talked about their wives and how they get along with their families. Chris said there is some friction between his wife and his family. Howard said his mother loves Beth. He also talked about how big of a fan his father-in-law was. He said that Beth's mother wasn't thrilled with him when she found out about Beth dating him. She actually hung the phone up on Beth when she told her she was dating Howard Stern. Howard filled Chris in on where his father-in-law went to school and who he played football with at Pitt.
Howard and Chris spent another couple of minutes talking about family before Howard wrapped up. Howard gave Chris some more plugs for the contest he has going on. He said that they did something similar and found Sal and Richard. Howard said they hired both of them after the Win John's Job contest. Howard said it's a great way to audition someone and it's exciting.
Chris asked Howard about his day and when he eats and sleeps. Howard told him that and then told him that he takes a nap in his office back there. He told Chris that Gary takes naps there too. He showed him the tape of him sleeping during the show. Howard said they caught him sleeping but he didn't fire him. Howard asked Chris if he would fire someone over that. Chris said no, he doesn't believe in that. Howard said Gary works very hard and he doesn't do that every day. It happened once in 35 years. Chris said they'd even hire Gary if Howard left there. He said he doesn't think Howard is leaving though. Howard shook his hand a couple more times before he actually went to break. He didn't want to do that but Chris insisted. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said he got a note from one of the interns, Rich, who brought up the death curse and how they predict that 6 will die in their upcoming 2 week vacation. Howard said they were thinking about taking bets on the deaths but he doesn't want to go through that. Howard said they've done death pools before. He said you think that old people are going to die and it's always younger people. Gary and Jackie were close in the death pool when Jackie won after Joe C from Kid Rock's band died. Gary had Ben Orr from The Cars in his list. Howard said he knows of some people who are sick and he could add them to his list and maybe win. Howard said he loves that death pool stuff.
Howard said Chris Russo was good but he can wear you out. Howard said he thinks that his wife should lighten up about her mother-in-law though. Robin said Howard shouldn't be wasting his time trying to help them out with their problems.
Howard said Beth may have told him who won the show but he didn't know who they were at the time and he doesn't remember who it was. Howard said someone is trying to get Beth to host a show but it would require her to go away again. He hopes she's not thinking about doing it. He said he's not sure how serious they are about it though.
Howard took a call from a guy in upstate New York and talked to him about what it's like up there. Howard said it's barely New York up there. The caller said he wanted to talk about the Wrap Up Show. He said Gary really gets full of himself on that show. He said he thinks that it's his show. Howard said he thinks of it as Jon Hein's show. He said that it's both of their show but Gary seems to think he's the senior person on the show because he's been on the show so long. Gary said he has to talk on the show because he is one of the hosts. Howard said Gary can go on a little long once in a while but most of the time he's very good.
The caller said that they had a bunch of great guests on the past few days and they spend all of their time talking about other stuff. Howard said they get a lot of email about Gary not doing his job but he really is doing a great job. Howard said they can't just get guests that they want all the time. He said he knows what Gary is capable of and he can't just tell anyone to come in when they want them. They have to go through publicists. He said he's trying to get Adam Sandler on the show and he's working really hard at it.
Gary said he got an email from someone who said they should have Eminem on the show. Gary said he works there at SIRIUS and he can't even get him booked. Howard heard he was actually up there yesterday. The guys were saying that was the first time they had seen him up there in the past 4 years.
Howard wondered what they pay Eminem there. Gary guessed $5 million a year. Howard said he wants that deal. He said he would take that to never show up and just put his name on a channel. He said he would love to be paid $5 million to do nothing. Howard said they could do anything they wanted with the channel.
Howard doesn't get why he's expected to show up. He said he would like that deal that Oprah and Eminem got. He said he doesn't want to show up to work. He said Oprah shows up like once a year. He said he'd like to do that too. He said he'd like her deal of $50 million.
Gary said that Shade 45 isn't even Eminem's music. It's just music that he'd like. Howard said he wants to put together this deal where he shows up once a year live and he only has to call in once in a while. He said then Scott (Greenstein) can make a big deal about the one time a year he shows up like he did for Oprah. Howard said he wants everyone to fawn all over him like they did with Oprah. Howard doesn't get why he can't have that deal.
Howard said that Oprah makes more than he does. He said that's the deal he wants to stay there. He said he's a real sucker. He said people think that he gets paid $100 million and it's nowhere near that. He said Oprah got the real good deal.
Gary said that they still have a guest to get to. Howard said he knows that. Howard said everyone had better prepare for the Will and Jason show to take over for him when he gets the Oprah deal. Howard said he's going to call into their show once in a while for like a minute. Howard said he really wants that deal. He said she got $50 million to do a half hour phone call to Gayle King's show. Howard and the guys spent a short time talking about Oprah and what a deal she got there.
Gary said he got a note with a headline that said that Eminem celebrated 5 years of his channel by finally showing up at the studio (Orbitcast.com). Howard said he's too familiar with people there and he really has to get a deal like he and Oprah got. Howard said ''Screw working 3 days a week...'' he wants to work no days a week and show up once a year. Howard said Oprah doesn't even mention her channel on her TV show. Howard said she still calls it XM even though it's SIRIUS XM. Howard said Bernie Madoff has nothing on Oprah. He said she's the greatest of all time to be able to get that kind of deal to not even show up to work. Howard said people give him a hard time when he suggests working 3 days a week.
Howard asked Danni Lynn about the grades she got in college and she said she was doing really good on those. She said the standardized tests are tough though.
Howard asked Danni Lynn if she's dating. She said she is. Howard asked if guys know how to handle her in bed. She said they do. Howard asked if she likes it hard. She said she can't answer that. Howard said she must like it hard.
Howard asked Danni Lynn about being a doctor and gave her some questions about giving an abortion to a woman who demanded it. Danni Lynn said she's pro choice so it's fine if they do get one. She said she wouldn't perform it herself. Howard asked her if she would do it if it was illegal and the woman had been raped. Danni Lynn said she wouldn't do it herself. She said she just can't do it.
Danni Lynn said she wants to be a plastic surgeon. Howard asked if she would help someone in a car accident if she was afraid of being sued for malpractice. She said that she would help someone out and worry about the malpractice thing later.
Howard asked Danni Lynn if she believes in Euthanasia. She said she does not. She said she wouldn't help someone commit suicide. Howard threw out a bunch of questions like that and asked about what the most pressing issue is in the medial field right now. She said that it's health care.
Howard asked if she would give breast implants to a woman who has Lou Gehrig's disease. She said she would not. Howard told Danni Lynn to not ever get implants herself. He asked if her boobs are good. She said they are good the way they are.
Howard said Danni Lynn was a cheerleader and she's only had sex with 3 people. Howard said that's rare these days. Howard said she must have had some real turds to dump her. He said her body looks like it would be fun. He said maybe she's a pain in the ass. Danni Lynn said she's really not.
Howard asked Danni Lynn if she would remove a light bulb from a guy's ass and then kill him after. Danni Lynn said she'd send him to Howard.
Howard said Danni Lynn is going to be on Howard TV all month long. He said she'll be in a bikini. Danni Lynn said she was wearing a Victoria's Secret bikini. Howard said he bets she's eating healthy food. She said she is and she goes to the gym every day.
Howard said you can see her photo shoot on HowardTV.
Howard asked Danni Lynn more questions about medical stuff. He said she's a doll. Howard asked how she got into shape. She said she played football. She plays in a league that ends up playing in the Lingerie Bowl during the super Bowl. Howard asked where she plays. She plays on the team The Passion and they broadcast them on local TV and on the web. She said she plays the free safety on her team.
Howard asked Danni Lynn if any girls have come on to her in the league. She said no but she has had girls come on to her other times. She said she tried it out too. Howard said that was shocking because she seems kind of goody two shoes to him.
Danni Lynn said she was out at a party after a fashion show and the girls were all getting changed. She said that the other girl had sent her a text to come back stage to get her. She wasn't that close to her but she did know her. She went back and got the girl and was a little tipsy from the drink she had. Danni Lynn said the other girl was getting her things together and things were a little awkward for a second because the other girl was checking her out like a guy would. She said she got really close and said she wanted to kiss her. Danni Lynn said she was just blushing and it was kind of awkward for her. She said there was no talk and they just kissed. Howard asked if she got wet from the kiss. She said she did. Howard asked if they went home. She said they didn't. She said they were staying in a hotel so they went back there. Danni Lynn said they drove back to the hotel and did some stuff there. Howard asked what the girl looked like. Danni Lynn said she was short and Brazilian. She said she was gorgeous.
Howard was asking about the other girl going down on her and asking if she was fully shaved. Danni Lynn said she's shaved. She said that she came pretty fast. Howard asked if she was pushing her hips into her face. Danni Lynn said she was reliving the whole thing right now. Howard asked if she put fingers in her ass. She said no. Howard asked if she returned the favor. She said she did. She didn't lick her but she did put a finger in there. Howard asked how long the session lasted. She said it was like 20 minutes or so. Howard said everything is lesbian now so she's in vogue.
Howard said he was trying to find a guy for Robin and he asked him if he'd be part of the game they're putting together. He said he's not sure what the guy's story is though. He could be gay but he'll have to look into it.
Howard said Danni Lynn has a great tan and a great ass. She said she goes to a tanning booth where she gets naked. She hates tan lines. Howard said he could talk about this stuff all day but he's going to keep it light and stop now. Howard gave her some plugs for being the new Miss Howard TV. He said he's looking forward to seeing her on Howard TV.
Howard said he thinks she'll be a great doctor. Especially with that outfit. Howard asked what she's going to specialize in. She said that it would be medical aesthetics like Botox. Robin hopes that they have something other than that soon.
Howard asked Mike Gange if he thinks he's too good for her. Gange said she's too nice and classy for him. Howard said he must want a filthy whore. Gange said he does like girls who are smart. Howard said that's Mike Gange working hard on Danni Lynn.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked that they not let Dave do anything with Lupe. He said he lost his sight a few years ago and when he hears this stuff it's disturbing. He said that it might be interesting but it's very disturbing too. Howard said it's too late to do anything now. The caller asked if they could give Gary the Retard and Wendy the Retard their own show. Howard said he's not sure about that but he guesses they could do something. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Ebony Magazine running a sad and resentful interview with Robin. Robin didn't think it was that bad. Steve said they spoke to the author and she was saying that some black people resent Robin for working in the white media. Howard said that's ridiculous that someone would be quoted about something like that. Howard said that it sends out a bad message to the black community. Howard said that's a really whacked out agenda. Howard said he hasn't read the interview yet. Robin said she's just concerned with them quoting her correctly. Robin said it was a ridiculous interview and the questions were crazy. Robin said this has come up before like when she wrote her book. She wasn't getting any coverage in the black media because of this.
Howard said Steve was blowing the lid off of this. Robin said she was interviewed by Essence magazine and they sent a TV crew to do the interview. She said that interview never aired.
Howard wondered why a black person has to act any other way than the way they want to. Robin said they're still not free, that's why. She said they're still grouped with other people and that hasn't changed. She said that they've enslaved themselves now. Howard said that's crazy.
Steve said that Robin's 15 Foundation fund raiser at Caroline's Comedy Club is tonight. They'll have full team coverage tomorrow. Robin said they have a few tickets left. They're going to have a great time tonight.
Steve said that George Takei's America special is ready to go and they're going to run that next Monday at 7pm on Howard 101. Howard said it's a different direction for Howard 101 but it's really a good special. Howard said it was really well done.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Howard asked if they were going to talk about Gary and Scott again today. Scott chimed in and said that he doesn't want that going on again. Jon said that they probably will then. Jon went over the rest of the list of things he had for today's show after that. That led to them talking about the song that Robin had to explain to Howard today. Howard said they should do that every day with different songs. He liked that explanation he got.
Howard had Steve Brandano from the Intern Show come in to promote that. Steve brought up the subjects they have for their show which is on tonight at 7 on Howard 101.
Robin started her news with a story about World Cup soccer. She said she knows Howard isn't into that though. Robin said the United States has to win today against Algeria. Howard said he'd think they could beat them. Gary mentioned that his kid is supposed to be watching the game in English class. That led to Howard and Robin talking about how great it was when they were in school and they'd see the A/V cart being rolled into the room. Howard talked about seeing the movie ''The Red Balloon'' in school. Robin said she saw that too. Gary remembered it as well. They spent a few minutes talking about that movie and what happened in it. Howard said no one has remade that film. Howard remembered a lot of details from the movie. He said it was pretty emotional.
Robin had some audio of some people talking about the soccer games. They went trough those clips quickly and ended up asking why they call a cup of coffee a cup of Joe. Benjy looked it up and said that they found that in 1913 the secretary of the Navy, who was named Joe, had kept coffee after outlawing some other stuff. Fred had a different theory and then Gary had a different one. Benjy looked it up on Snopes.com and they found a completely different one. Howard said he didn't think it mattered anymore.
Robin had some story about drinking coffee and how it can help people with cancers. Robin said she wouldn't trust that study. She said that other things can hurt you if you drink too much coffee.
Robin said that McDonald's could be sued for giving away toys with their meals. Robin said that this case sounded ridiculous though. Robin said there's a watchdog group that says they lure kids into the store with their toys and then feed them fatty foods.
Robin read a story about the CBS Early Show paying tribute to Michael Jackson on Friday. They're going to spend a full hour doing that. They're going to have a bunch of people performing live on the show that morning.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the red balloon in that movie actually dies at the end. Howard said he knew there was a reason that he was upset. The caller told him about what happens in the movie and how the bullies chase the balloon around and they throw rocks at it and the kid gets sad and then a bunch of them float the boy away at the end. Howard said it's no wonder he wants to fly Eric the Midget.
Robin read more about Michael Jackson's death and how his estate is now worth $1 billion. Robin said that once you stop spending then everything is okay. Robin had a break down of where the money came from. She said that she's pretty sure the mom is the executor of the estate and the father doesn't have access to it. That's why he's got the wrongful death suit going.
Robin read a story about Queen Elizabeth cutting back on her $12 million a year allowance. Howard said that he can't believe she's still alive.
Robin read about Michael Vick being on the top of a list of most disliked people in sports according to Forbes magazine. Robin said that Al Davis is also on the list right up near the top. Howard said he's surprised that he's not on that list even though he's not in sports.
Robin read a story about an article that was written about General Stanley McChrystal who was bad mouthing President Obama. Howard said he thinks that Obama will give the guy a break and not get rid of him. Howard said he thinks Obama will give him a good dressing down and keep him around. He's apparently one of these Black Ops guys who knows how to fuck people up without dropping a bomb on them. He thinks the guy will survive this and he's giving him a 60/40 chance of keeping his job. Robin said she thinks if he doesn't fire him he's going to look very weak. Fred thinks he'll stay. Robin had some audio of President Obama commenting on the story.
Robin read a story about some people who were camping out for the new Twilight movie already. Robin said it's not just teens. She said some have been there since Sunday night. One woman who was 60 was already camping out. She had some audio of the woman talking about what a big fan she is and how she doesn't feel like a big freak hanging out with everyone else. Howard said she should feel like a freak. He said he will see the movie but he's not going to stand on line. He said he heard that one of the guys on line was straight but he doesn't believe it.
Robin read a story about Fat Joe denying rumors that he assaulted a woman over the weekend. Robin said his manager says the woman was just trying to get money out of them. Robin read that they claim they never had any improper contact with the woman. Robin said the woman claims she rode in their limo after the show and she was touched in an inappropriate manner. Fat Joe was on the show one time and they did their song ''Lean Back'' live in the studio. Howard said he liked that Remy Ma that was in there with Joe. Fred played the song a minute later.
Gary came in and said that Remy is in jail and she gets out in 2013. Gary was also saying that they use the N-word in that song and they may have asked them not to say that for the air back when they were at K-Rock. Howard said he read that Remy Ma got married in prison. Howard said she's been away for a long time because that was back in 2008. She shot someone so that's why she's in prison right now.
Robin read about Alexa Ray Joel and how she's dating someone who played guitar on her upcoming CD. Robin said she had a traumatic split last year and she had taken some pills back then. Robin said she hopes she does better if this one breaks up.
Robin read about how hotels are going to start cleaning less now to be ''green.'' Robin said this isn't new but they are starting to cut back all over. They're saying this is to be green but Robin was saying she's not so sure how ''green'' it is not to clean the sinks and stuff. Robin said she thinks it's wonderful when she comes back to her room and everything is cleaned up. Howard doesn't like that. He has the feeling that they rubbed their asses on his stuff or something. He's afraid they're doing something behind his back every minute.
Robin read that Khloe Kardashian is claiming she paid for the Mercedes that her husband has. She said she used her own money for that. People were accusing her of using her husband's money to buy the gift for him.
Robin said she heard a story about Kim Kardashian who was on a plane and she had a catalog of black sports guys who date white women and it showed how much they make and how much they're worth so they could decide who they go after.
Robin said that a class trip turned tragic when a 6th grader drowned on a field trip. Robin said that one of the teachers almost drowned too when they tried to find her.
Robin read about KISS having a lottery ticket out now. Robin said they have fans from all over the world calling to find out if they can buy tickets.
Robin read that Gary Coleman had a restraining order on his wife just 3 months before he died. Robin said it was taken out under the name John Doe and Jane Doe. Robin said they had lots of problems in that marriage but she got to make crucial decisions about him.
Robin read that Devo is making a return. She had some audio of their new song. Howard said it sure sounded dated to him. Robin said that the lead singer was saying that they felt it was time to make a return based on how the music industry was working these days.
Robin read about the new ''Knight and Day'' movie. Howard said Cameron Diaz is looking really good in the pictures he's seen lately. He said he'll probably like the movie even though the reviews are bad. He said that's the kind of simple movie he likes.
Robin had some audio of Peter Sarsgaard talking about working with Tom Cruise. Robin also had some audio of Adam Sandler talking about his new movie and who he thinks will like it.
Robin said that the new Twilight movie is opening this week and Bryce Dallas Howard is in it. She had some audio of her talking about that part.
Robin read that the Beach Boys are going to be celebrating their golden anniversary. They won't be doing a reunion though. She said that Mike Love said last year that he wanted to have that 50th anniversary. Howard said they apparently don't get along. Robin said they say that there are no plans for his cousin Brian to join the tour so there is no reunion. They ended the show after that, right around 10:35am.
Gary was also saying that he thinks his camera will be back before they're done with their vacation. Jon said he didn't want to spend the whole show talking about this but they are going to start the show with it. Jon said that it was Gary emailing Howard and Scott emailing Howard that might bring this to an end. Gary said hard feelings were starting to get out of hand. Gary said he was really worked up about it before the show started today too.
Jon went over some of the stuff they were going to try and cover today. They ended up talking about Mike Gange and the latest Miss Howard TV. Gary said he's heard that he's more of a player than they know. He said his moves might actually work.
Jon said they were going to be talking to Chris Russo later too. He said that they have an interesting rapport on the show. He wasn't really a Howard fan before he came there but now he seems to get it. Gary said he didn't think Chris was a Howard hater. Gary said he thinks that Chris came there and now he and Howard have a mutual respect for each other. Gary said that they seem like they're just talking when they're doing an interview and they work well together. Jon said they'll get into that more later when Chris comes by. He said they had some interesting things to talk about today so they'll go over that stuff.
Mike Gange came in so Jon asked him if he really thinks that the new Miss Howard TV was too good for him. Gange said that you have to play mind games with them so that's his move. Gange said that the last couple of girls he hasn't been able to spend much time with. He said she was kind of stand offish so there may not be that much of an opportunity to get this one.
Gary said that he heard that Gange does much better than they think he does. Gange said that he does. He said that he's kept a lot of stuff quiet over the years. He said that some people don't want it on the air that they were with him.
Gary said he knew that Gange was showing a girl how to use a camera one year and he knew that he was going to date her. Gange said he did date that girl. He said there was a good period of time when he said he wasn't dating this Jen girl and he did that for years. He said she didn't want anyone to know they were dating because they had gone back and forth so many times.
Gange said he hung out with the last Miss Howard TV at a Yankee game but that was it. He said she was staying in Times Square and he got the sense that nothing was going to happen. He didn't get the invite back up to her room.
Jon asked Gange if he was trying to get a date with her. Gange said that it does give him ''cred'' if he shows up to a game with a hot chick even if he's not sleeping with her. Gange said he has some stuff going on in his life and he does hook up occasionally. He said he has some friends that hang out and hook up. They're like friends with benefits. He said that he only has one like that right now.
Jon asked who brings up the benefits part. Gange said it just works out that way. He said they'll go out drinking and it just happens. Gange said that they'll send some dirty texts or do some sexting stuff. He didn't want to get too deep into that though. Jon asked him to share since it wasn't even 11 year. Gange said they just start out with that dirty stuff like asking what she's wearing. Gange said he'll tell her to show up with less on than she says she's wearing.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what happened with Gange and the bike ride. Gange said he made the whole ride. He said it was 50 miles even though it was supposed to be 42. He said he was in pain the next day. He said his legs were sore for a week. Gange said he did the ride in like 4 hours. He said he didn't walk anything but part of the Central Park ride because there were so many people there.
Gange said that Jared took off and left him behind. He said Jared called him and said he had gone like 26 miles per hour the whole ride.
Another caller said that no one cares if Gange is banging any of the chicks. He said he won't talk about it anyway. Jon said he cares. The caller said he wants to know what's really going on. Gange said he did tell some stuff. He said he hooked up with one of the Miss Howard TVs not too long ago. He said he won't say which one it was though.
The guys asked Gange when he realized that it was wrong to date interns. Gange said that he was about 35 when they came there to Howard TV so that's when it started.
Ronnie the Limo Driver called in and said that Gange still can't walk from his bike riding. He said his knees are still bothering him. Gange said his one knee still hurts. The ride was like a month ago. Gange said part of that is from playing softball. Ronnie said the guy can barely walk. It's like he has crotch rot.
Jon asked Ronnie if he thinks that Gange is really getting the chicks he says he is. Ronnie said he's not going to comment on that because Gange is his dude. He said Gange is a good friend and he's not going to say anything bad about him.
Gary said he didn't hate Scott before but he's really angry with him but he didn't want to get into it. The caller told him to just get into it. Gary said it's hard to communicate with Scott. That's all he's going to say.
Jon asked Gange what he thinks about all of this. Gange said there was a deal and Scott broke his word. He said that the tough part is that knowing the show you have this golden nugget and it's hard not to use it. He said it was a huge decision to make but they should have gone to Gary first. That could have ruined the bit though.
Jon asked Gange about the Scott the Engineer thing that happened where he said that they weren't supposed to use the tape of his training. Gange said they remember it as they taping Scott doing his training for his push ups. They thought that Scott just didn't want the whole thing shown.
Doug came in and said that Scott was very vague about the work out thing. He said when they showed it to him then maybe it wasn't on his time frame.
Gange said that they did break that thing with Scott but they had some great tape from the show after that. Gange said it became something big out of nothing. Jon asked Gange if he had the same deal that DePace had with Gary, would he have broken it to give Howard that tape. Gange said 10 years ago he would have but the show has gotten kinder and gentler. Doug said ''not this week dude.''
Gange and Doug were going back and forth on this subject. Gary said that they went directly at his job and that was wrong. Gange said that if the roles were reversed then maybe Gary would do the same thing. Gary said if he had the deal the way it was, it makes that whole thing different. Gary said that they can't have deals there if they're not going to keep their word.
Gary said he heard that he was a hypocrite for doing the hidden camera thing with John. He said he warned John that he was coming to get him so that was fair play. He said he's not going to get back at Scott over this. He said he's too tired for that... Obviously since he fell asleep in his office.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Gange has ridden his bike since that race. Gange said he has. He and the caller talked about the average speed and how he could have done that. Gange said he only stopped twice and he thinks that he averaged like 10-15 MPH most of the time.
Another caller told Gary to lighten up over this whole thing and also told Gange he's a pussy and no one cares about the chicks he gets or the bike ride.
Jon asked Gange what his plan is for the rest of the day with Miss Howard TV. Gange said he's not handling her. He said that Chris Costa is in charge of the girls now. He said it's almost a waste because he has a girlfriend.
Gange said that he sees that Doug likes to hang around the girls too sometimes. Doug said that some of them are really adorable and he likes that but he can be honest about it. Doug said it's really hard to produce with them because they're not professionals. He said they sometimes have to do 20 takes with the girls on one paragraph. Gange said they have to stay until like 7 at night sometimes. He said that they're hanging out with them in their bikinis though so it's not so hard.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Gary is doing all of this stuff for the show. He said he thinks that he fell asleep just for the show. He thinks that Gary threw that pitch shitty just for the show. the guy said he thinks that Gary loves every minute of this stuff and it's all fake. He said someone needs to call him on the bullshit.
Gary jokingly told the guy that the whole show is scripted out through the end of the year. The caller said Gary is a genius and he's really not that guy to get angry. Gary said someone who works there actually thought it was fake too and it really wasn't. Gary said that pitch was the real thing. He's not that well planned out. The caller said if that wasn't on purpose then he really is an idiot. The caller said he thinks they do this stuff on purpose.
The caller said that Howard, Robin and Fred are all geniuses and Gary is part of that too. He said more of the show is scripted than they think. Gary said it's great that he thinks that but he's not sure he's in the majority. The show isn't scripted as much as he thinks.
Another caller said that they were talking about the rapport between Howard and Chris Russo and he didn't think so. Maybe Gary fell asleep for an hour. Gary said that joke didn't work and he loves that. Gary had mentioned he had blinked and an hour had gone by in the Russo interview so now they're getting tons of calls making that joke according to Steve Brandano.
A caller asked what Howard thinks about this Live Nation and Ticketmaster merger. Gary didn't know about that. The caller said they should talk about that. Gary said he'd have to look into it. The caller also asked when Howard went from being mediocre to being great. Gary said he could tell from the first time he worked with Howard that he was great. He said that at WNBC they did some amazing interviews with guys like Mike Farrell from MASH and some other interviews. He said Howard was a riot back then.
Another caller said Gary has tough skin and he DePace is a real piece of shit. Gary said he didn't want to talk about that. The caller also asked if Gary ever thought that this would happen some day. Gary said he knew the camera was on all the time and he really just didn't think they would use it on the air.
Gange wanted to know if there was anything that he would have been okay with. Gary said that the point was that they used something that they said they never would. He said nothing would have been acceptable to him. They had to go to break after that.
Jon said that Russo came in today and they have to wonder what Howard is going to talk about since he's not into sports. Will Murray said that they have to find other things to talk about or things in sports that are going to be interesting to him.
Gary said he talked to Chris about the things he wanted to talk about and they had to tell him not to bring some stuff up because Howard would lose interest quickly.
Jon said that Chris talked about how he got sick of talking about the Yankees all the time when he was doing his show with Mike Francesa.
Jon asked if Howard is interested in any sports. Gary said he seems to like some football and some basketball. He goes to the Knicks games once in a while. He said that Howard is probably more into football now because Beth is so into it.
Jon played a clip of Russo asking Howard about his loyalty to the company and to his staff. After playing that clip Gary said there was a lot going on there. He said he wouldn't doubt that Howard was talking to other people. He said that he has to keep his options open. Gary said he heard Howard saying that he's leaning in one direction and he has a gut feeling it would be to stay there. Will said it sounds like Howard is going to do something and not just retire now. Gary said he had that feeling before today.
Jon asked what they thought about Russo saying that Howard is good at what he does because he can act like he's interested in anyone who is on that couch. Gary said Howard makes a connection with that person and he's so nice to them after and he has to tell people after they're done that they can't just come back at any time. Gary said they have guests on who are interesting once and they may not be good for a second interview. He said sometimes they'll do a tour and the best interview was the one they did with Howard. Then they try to come back and that gets difficult.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about Howard peeling back another piece of that onion and revealing that something might be going on. Gary said he was thinking it would be chaos at this point but it's rally not like that yet. Will said that people become a little more confident that Howard will be working either there or somewhere else. He said they hope to have jobs in 6 months. Will said that they hope that they can figure something out in that 6 months.
Jon said that Howard is going to announce something eventually. Will said that he doesn't want to be stuck on December 25th without a job. He hopes that something happens before then.
Another caller asked Gary what the repercussions would be if Gary got caught sleeping again. Gary said it wouldn't be good. He said he'd be afraid that he'd get fired. The caller said he thinks that Howard owns Gary and he thinks he could get caught sleeping 10 times and get away with it.
The caller said he has a friend who worked there as an intern and told him that Gary was great but Robin pretended that the interns didn't exist. He also wanted to stomp on Ronnie every day that he was there. Will said that sounds like the story that any intern would have.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it sounded like Howard wants to keep doing what he's doing. Gary said he got that feeling too. The guy also asked about the meeting that Howard, Gary and Tim are going to have and how they're going to be talking about the future of the show even though there is no contract. Gary said they just have to keep moving forward.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Russo is annoying and they have to stop putting him on the show. Gary said they put him on because they like him. Not everyone is going to like every guest they have either. The caller said that he can't believe that guy called earlier and said he thinks that the whole show is scripted.
Jon talked about how amazing Sour Shoes was when he called in as Chris Russo. He said he might be the most talented person he's ever met. Gary said that the guy is amazing but it gets him nothing. He makes calls to the show and that's about it. Jon said the guy was amazing with the impressions.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's not looking for a conspiracy theory but he'd like to know why Chris Russo is on the show if they don't ask for guests. The caller thought that Scott Ferrall wasn't on the show enough and he's kind of said that on his own show. Gary said that they haven't really said no to Scott and it might be more of a timing thing with him.
The caller said that he'd like to have some kind of ratings on the channels and he'd like to know the kind of ratings that they get with Russo and people like that. He said that they don't really seem to pay people what they really deserve. Gary said that it's not just about the money. The caller asked who listens to Russo's show. Gary said he does. So does Jon. Jon said he listens to Ferrall's show too. The caller said he'd like to hear Ferrall on the show before Howard's contract is up. Gary said he'd see what he could do.
Gary said that Russo is fun to listen to and he can check the PDT to see who they're talking about. He said that's the good part about listening to him on satellite.
The guys were talking about some of the other stuff Chris was talking about like his wife not getting along with his mother.
Another caller said he wanted to give his perspective on what Howard will do in the next year. He said that he thinks Howard hasn't made up his mind and he doesn't think he'll come back. He said he thinks that SIRIUS would be taking full advantage of that if they really wanted him to come back. The guy said he thinks that they'd stop Howard from saying he's not coming back to keep subscribers. Gary said he doesn't believe that because they can't stop Howard from saying that. He said that if Howard wanted to announce he's not coming back then they can't make him not tell people. Gary said he doesn't believe Howard would sign a gag order or anything. The caller said that he's going to cancel if Howard doesn't come back. He said that he hopes that helps with the negotiations.
Another caller told Gary to just knock DePace out. Gary said he can't just go punch a guy. Gary said they saw that the United States just scored in the World Cup so they were excited. Gary said he can't just go up and punch a guy in the face at work either. Gary said Scott has retard strength too so he can't fight him in the ring.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why they do the impression of Robin with the English accent. Jackie was the one who started that many years ago.
Another caller asked Gary what he would do if another embarrassing tape came up. Gary had to cut him off and say that it would never happen and Howard isn't going to try to make money off of any tape.
Another caller said that he thinks that Sour Shoes can talk sports and he could do that impression of Russo all day long.
Sour Shoes called in and did his Russo impression a little bit. He was also playing some music and throwing out a bunch of sports references. Jon asked Sour if he's ever thought about how he can cash in on his talent. Sour said he was going to leave that up to them. He was speaking in a really creepy voice as he talked about that.
Sour did some more music and threw out a bunch more sports references that were impressive to some of the guys who knew what he was talking about. Jon said he had to let him go since they only had a minute left.
The real Chris Russo showed up after that and gave them a rundown of the soccer score they had seen a few minutes before. He said it was a really impressive play even though he's not into soccer. The guys went over the soccer game for the rest of the minute they had left doing the show.
Howard started the show talking about how He was reading something He couldn't believe. He said He had to read the whole thing before getting it. He read that a federal judge ruled against a suit that Viacom had against YouTube. Howard said it was turned down in summary judgment. Howard couldn't believe this story. Howard said he's going to have to read this off the air to figure out what's really going on.
Howard asked Jon Hein if He knows what it means. Jon came in and said it's very confusing to begin with. He said he's no expert on it either. Howard said it sure sounds like they need to hear arguments on this case. He said Viacom must have some decent lawyers. Jon said it sounds like they're thinking YouTube did what they were supposed to do and they don't have to do this or this based on the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.
Howard said it sounds like you can put anything up there on YouTube and make money off of it. He said He can't believe this judge let it go based on summary judgment.
Howard said this sounds like it's opening up the doors for people to steal stuff and pout it on the web without any power to stop it. Jon said the judge thinks that YouTube is doing what they're supposed to do.
Howard said this shows what horseshit the laws really are. He said He can't imagine that this can be resolved in summary judgment. He said it's very complicated.
Robin said the internet has created a whole new landscape and it's like the wild west. Howard said they're making money on advertising with other people's content. Robin said they can say that it's the money based on the traffic they have and no on other people's content.
Howard said it's very complicated. He said this summary judgment thing means that the judge thinks that it's so ridiculous that they can't waste the court's time. Howard said He thinks that it'll go to a higher court now. Gary said Jason told him that it's already gone to the appellate court.
Gary told Howard that Jon was reading more about this and they found some interesting stuff. Jon came in and said that Viacom was thinking about buying YouTube and they were uploading their own content on YouTube so they could later say that they had their content on there. Howard said He doesn't know about that but they should be looking at that as well.
Howard said this sharing thing is killing the music business and they're issues that have to be decided in the courtroom. Howard said He doesn't believe in this YouTube thing but they have to have a deal with them so they can keep some content off of their service. Howard said they have to go to a judge and take this to court.
Gary told Howard they say that they were protected by a law that says if they remove the content when asked to, then they're safe. Howard said He has the same problem. They have to tell them about every single infringement to get it removed. Howard said they have to hire an attorney to get it removed.
Robin said they don't advertise for people to watch specific things on their site so they can't get in trouble for that. Howard said there should be a law that says they're making money off his specific content. Howard said they're making money because of his content. He said the only value there is the content. He said he'd have to take it to court though and this case was denied. Robin said they have to close a lot of loopholes before that would happen.
Jon Hein was telling Howard about this case and had some phlegm in his throat. Howard said Gary had the same problem this morning too. He gave him a ''Ugh'' when He heard it.
Howard and Robin continued to argue about these laws and how they should work. Robin said Howard was wrong about it.
Howard said today they were supposed to have Little Lupe on the Sybian with Dave Lampert controlling it. It turns out Dave isn't going to be able to get in on time. He got the note yesterday that Dave wasn't going to be able to get in on time. Howard said He was sending notes all night about it and it was blowing his mind.
Howard said Little Lupe got there but Dave isn't going to be there so this isn't going to happen. Howard said Dave is the guy who knows how to do it the right way so He has to do it. Howard said they were talking about how they could imitate Dave but that's just not going to be the same thing.
Howard said it's unfortunate but they're not going to be able to do this thing today. He thought it was going to be comedy gold but they'll have to wait for another time. Little Lupe will still come in today though.
Howard said He was on Lupe's web site last night and it was kind of disturbing. He said that she looks very young and she looks at the camera in a strange way. He said He wanted to hug her and ask her what she's going to do with her life.
Howard said the other problem was that He had penis envy for this guy that Lupe was blowing. He said the guy had a penis as wide as a beer can. He said he'd love to have that himself. He said Jessica Hahn once told him about how thick Sam Kinison's penis was. He said that she moaned when she told him that. He said she even said that the thickness overwhelmed her. Howard said she knows what she's doing in bed too. Howard said He wonders what his penis is doing for a woman. He said his is kind of thin and has long hair on top so it looks kind of like him. He said Robin could pick it out of a line up.
Howard said he had to turn off the video of Little Lupe. He said he was in his office watching that. Howard said he woke up from his nape yesterday and forgot to bring his glasses home with him. He said he was kind of dopey after his nap.
Howard said he shouldn't have penis envy. He's a man. Howard said he was sitting at home in the office watching this stuff while Beth was getting ready to go to Robin's event. Howard said he heard her event was a lot of fun. Robin said it was a good turn out and wonderful people.
Howard said he had Lupe on and she was moaning. He wondered what Beth would think. He said he'd tell her he was watching it for work but that wouldn't make any sense to Beth. He said he turned it off because he was weirded out that he'd get caught. He said he didn't want to be a dirty old man. He said he was into it though.
Howard said he would have beat off if he had been alone. Howard said he won't beat off in front of the dog though. He said he feels like a jerk doing that in front of the dog. He said the dog must know what he's up to on some level. Robin said Gary had a dog licking him or something. Gary said that wasn't what happened. Howard said he's had a dog in the room watching and it creeps him out.
Howard said he had a nice night out with the kids last night. He said he does everything wrong but they were treating him okay. He said they sometimes live in the past. He said he was talking about someone in his personal life who is really fucking up their personal life and he tells his kids about that. They were alarmed and said that he shouldn't say anything because he comes off very harsh when he does. Howard said he told them they're right and he's just an asshole. Robin said he should have asked how he should do it or have them do it instead.
Howard said people don't take his advice very well. He said he knows things though. He said Robin should know that. Robin said he's right, he thinks he knows how everyone would live.
Howard said it's a pain in the ass for the President. He said Obama brought in David Petraeus to take over though. Howard said he figured he was going to give him a pass. Robin said he just couldn't do that.
Howard said he likes that civilians are in charge of the military. He said the architects of this country were brilliant. He doesn't want to sound like Glenn Beck talking about this stuff. He said that Beck is teaching history lessons on his show now. He's really changed it a lot. Howard said that the guys who started this country were really thinking when they did it.
Howard said he had a class in school one time where he came up with a plan for the country to be based on meditation. Howard said it was just a paper he wrote and they gave him a shitty grade on it. He said that he's unable to think of a utopia kind of thing so he got a bad grade. Howard said the guys who really started this country were really brilliant. He has to take his hat off to all of those guys who did.
Howard said he heard that Glenn Beck's ratings have been going down. He said he gets that because he's doing these history lessons instead of a regular show.
Howard said the NY Post has been complaining about Elliot Spitzer being hired to do a TV Show but meanwhile they hired Ashley Dupre to write a column. It doesn't make sense to complain like that.
Howard said he's very easily swayed in any argument. He said he can read a story in one paper and think one thing and then he reads another one and his opinion changes.
Howard said a lot of these guys like bill O'Reilly have to have opinions to survive. Howard said Spitzer is going to have to have to lay it out for people and just be honest. Howard said the guy is going to have to compete with a lot of stuff so he has to lay it all out there. He said he's going to have to admit he bangs hookers.
Howard said he's given people advice for what to do on their shows and he tells them to just say everything that's on their mind and go for it. He said one guy took that advice and he lasted like a month. Robin said she doesn't think that Spitzer will do that. Howard said he'll fail then.
Howard said he was checking out some pictures of Ashley Dupre in Playboy and she was looking good. Howard said one guy wrote in about that and how he wouldn't blame Spitzer for wanting to be with her. Howard said he thinks of the tunnel bunnies when he's thinking about a hooker. He said these high class hookers can be really hot. Howard said he didn't know that Amber Smith was taking money for sex. He said he might have gone to her if he knew that when they were shooting Private Parts. Howard said he could be wrong about that but he thinks she was implying that during Celebrity Rehab.
Howard said there are movie stars you can fuck if you have enough money. He said they hook when they don't have any work.
Howard said he got some ratings info for Glenn Beck and he had lost a lot of his audience. Howard said it's the lectures he's doing that are lowering the ratings. He said that's getting old. Howard said he'd like to give him advice too. Robin told him to please just let him go away.
Howard said he wasn't able to sleep last night. Beth came home and passed right out so he wasn't able to have sex. He said he wanted to but didn't want to bother her about it. Howard said he got up after realizing he had to move his bowels. He said his toilet is such a pain in the ass to use with the flush not working very well. He said it's like a whole production just to take a dump. Howard said he'd rather just stay up all night instead of going to the bathroom. He said Beth asked what he was up to and he just told her he was reading. He believes in being honest but not that honest.
Howard said he can't believe this flushing thing. He said he has to flush like 5-6 times and he has to clean the bowl himself so the cleaning person doesn't see the skid marks.
Howard said he was eating last night and some guy came over to shake his hand. He said the guy laughed when he gave him the power bump. Howard said he's trying to eat with his kids and the guy is laughing. Howard said the wife was trying to shake his hand too. He said the guy was laughing at that too. He said he didn't want to shake hands while he was eating. Howard said he tries to be nice to the fans but he's not going to shake hands. He said the kids agreed that he was right doing the power bump. Howard said he's better than most fathers.
Howard said he and the kids had a good time out at dinner. He said it's great to be able to talk to them. He said that the conversation can get dull with little kids. He said they want to talk about bullshit that he's not into. He said his kids are grown now so he really enjoys it.
Howard said he just got a Norelco shaver that he really likes but the thing had a huge manual. He said that it's like oragami the way it's folded. He said he has this huge piece of paper now that he can't fold back up. He said they have every detail about the shaver in there. He said they figured out everything about how to clean it out and all of that. He said this new one collects all of the hair in it. He said it's genius actually.
Howard said he used the shaver this morning and that's why he looks the way he does. Howard said he's keeping some stubble on his face to look like a young Chaz Bono.
Howard said he started reading the manual but it was just too much. He'd rather take a course on it or learn about it on the web. Howard said they could have a visual thing on the web site to describe it. He said maybe they have something like that on their site.
Howard said everything with him is a production. He said he's going to bring in the paper and see if Robin can fold it back into a square. He said you take it out of the box and it's small. He said he tried to fold it back up but it's impossible. He said the thing is the size of 3 pages of a newspaper now.
Howard said he knows that Oragami is Japanese but he was saying it was Chinese as a joke. He said he got an email from some dope who told him he's not going to get a $50 million Oprah deal there. Howard said he was joking when he said that yesterday.
The caller said he thinks it'll be great with Little Lupe in there. He said he cries laughing whenever he hears her clips. Howard said he'd disappointed that Dave won't be there. He wanted the second time to be special with her and Dave. Howard said it's just not as special now. He wanted the next thing to be bigger.
The caller said that he called in a few months ago and got a tour and he had to thank him for that. He said that Gary and Jason were good guys for showing him around up there. The guy is a broadcast student. Howard told the guy that this place is really nice but the real radio stations out there are like shitholes. Howard said he loves coming to work there because it is so nice. He said it inspires you to do a good job. He said K-Rock was depressing to work in. He said it was a real shithole. He said that place was filthy dirty and the walls were gross and the whole place was depressing. He said if he was a sponsor he'd get out of there.
Howard said that Mel has told him that this place would look like Guantanamo Bay if he had designed it. Howard said at a radio station you'd like to feel like you're welcome. He said he gets that when he walks in there now. It inspires him to want to do well.
The caller told Benjy he's glad he's getting in on time. He said he wants him back on the Wrap Up Show so he has to keep it up. Howard said that Benjy is doing what he should be doing. He said he's getting in on time and today it was like 10 minutes early... or 10 minutes on time. Howard said he was acting childishly when he wasn't showing up on time. Howard said he won't let him interact with the audience on this show but he liked him on the Wrap Up Show. He said it gave the audience a sense of who Benjy really is. He said he blew it with him though so he had to teach him a lesson.
Robin said Benjy showed up in a suit last night but he was all sweaty. Robin said they wouldn't let him near her because he was so wet. Benjy said it was hot there. He said that it took a few minutes to adjust to the temperature. Robin said everyone else was fine.
Howard said that Gilbert Gottfried was one of the comedians there at the show last night. His wife was there too and she was soaking wet. Howard said Gilbert and his wife were like 30 blocks from the show and he wanted to walk the whole way there. Howard said that's why she was sweating so much. Howard said Gilbert didn't want to pay for the cab. He said that guy is something else.
Howard said Benjy is due to be back on the Wrap Up Show on September 8th. That's if he can keep up coming to work on time. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he couldn't interrupt that song. He said it gives him goose bumps. He said that's a thought song to play. Fred said it is tough but she had it down. Howard said he's tried to play that song and he can only get so far before he gives up. Howard said Jewel is incredible and his mind goes to Artie when he hears it now. Howard said that he's ruined the song for him now. He said he always thinks of Artie. Robin asked why Howard had to do that to her by bringing Artie up. Robin said she was lost in her voice and didn't think about Artie until Howard brought him up.
Howard said that he was thinking about this YouTube case and wondered how it's different than Napster. Robin said that they were literally stealing the product because you couldn't get the product from anywhere else without taking it from CDs. Howard said she's just making stuff up now.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked who he would rather be, Superman or a vampire. Howard said he'd rather be Superman. Robin said that's not true, he'd rather be a vampire. Howard said she can't tell him what he wants. He said vampires are evil and they have to kill. Robin said they don't have to be evil. Howard said she's watching too many of these new vampire things. Howard said you don't want to be tortured. He said he'd rather be Superman because he can fly, see through objects, he has heat vision and he can go out in the daytime. Howard was going to let Speech go but Speech wished them a good vacation.
Lisa said they also have a story about Pauly Shore and how he got a Cease and Desist letter after he was on the show talking about his family problems.
Howard said he read that Pauly was at some party kind of thing and they asked him to take a picture with a girl but Pauly refused to take it because he was only taking pictures with the hottest girls at the party. Howard read that article and they said that Shore was running back and forth with some girls that were there and with the Kardashian girls that were there. Howard read that he was overheard saying he was only going to be photographed with extremely hot chicks.
Lisa said that they say that someone from Harrah's in Atlantic City is saying that Scott was great as a DJ at their club over the weekend. She said they said Scott had a lot of charisma while he was doing his thing. Howard said he can't believe he's hearing this. He said they must be mistaken about him having charisma.
Howard said he heard that Rachel Fine, from the Howard TV show The Bonus Show, went into Scott the Engineer's studio one day and a week later her grandma died. Howard said that's the Scott black cloud. Howard said that's some mother that would tell her son that he had a black cloud curse that follows him around.
Howard said he gets mad when he thinks about Scott's mother telling him that. Scott came in and said his mom told him that when he was like 10. Howard asked if she's still alive. Scott said she's not. He said people think that she was just joking around but she said it more than once. Howard said he's like the girl in Drag Me To Hell.
Howard asked Scott what prompted his mom to say that. Scott said she said it a lot so he's not sure. He said that it's not a real curse and he doesn't believe it's a real thing. Howard asked what made her say there was a curse. Scott didn't know. He said he didn't remember why she said he had a curse on him the first time or anything.
Scott said his aunt, his mom's sister, might have more insight into this. He said that it was the whole side of the family that could have the curse. He said his aunt had a serious brain tumor so that may have been the beginning of the curse. Howard told Scott to get her on the phone so he can talk to her about that. Howard asked what he would be willing to do to lift that curse. Scott didn't have much to say about that.
Howard said this Telly award is a joke because people really laugh at him when he says what it is. They had to pay for the award too. Howard told Rachel he needed $175 to buy her the award.
Howard said he thinks that Doug is in love with Rachel. He said he's obsessed with her. Doug said that he's not in love with her but Steve Brandano is.
Howard asked Rachel if she's a fuck buddy for Richie Wilson. Rachel said they were together for 2 years but they're taking a break right now. She said she never knows how to answer that. Howard said he heard that Richie will beat the crap out of anyone who wants to go on a date with her.
Howard asked who broke up with who. Richie came in and said that Rachel was working hard on her CD and they took a break. Howard asked Rachel about her singing and why she hasn't been on American Idol. She said she did audition. She said that they were only passing through the jokey people. She said they told her she was really good but they couldn't put her through.
Howard wanted to hear Rachel sing so he asked her to sing the Etta James song that she sang for the Idol people. Rachel went right into the song for him. Howard told her she gets the golden ticket to Hollywood. Richie said she must have gone into Scott's room before the audition.
Howard said Rachel sounds good, she looks good, she's got a great body. She even banged Richie. Richie said he's grateful. Richie said they weren't able to see each other much when they were both busy. Rachel said that Richie was the one who wanted to take the break. Howard said that's nuts. Richie said he would marry her tomorrow but he has to work out a few things. He said he's busy training. He said he beat the shit out of a guy who tried to assault her.
Rachel said that this guy came up to her friend and put his hand on her and Richie pummeled the shit out of the guy. Richie said that the training paid off. Richie said that he kept asking the guy if they were done and he kept wanting to fight so he kept it going. Rachel said she liked that too because she felt safe with him. Howard said his kids think it's great to go out with a guy who can kick someone's ass too.
Howard told Rachel to stick with Richie even if he has things to work out. Richie said she knows he loves her to death. He said he wants to be able to provide a good future for her. He said he doesn't have what he thinks she deserves. Rachel said she provides for herself too and she's never had anyone help her out like that. Howard said Richie should just go out and work hard and do what he can and just keep going out with her. He said she's so cute.
Howard said that Rachel has real breasts too and she's got a great ass. Richie said they've been talking and they're on the right track. Gary said that some of the guys didn't know they were back on the right track. Steve thinks that she's cute but he's afraid to say anything because Richie will beat the crap out of him. Richie said he doesn't want to have to ask Steve how his dick tastes every time he kisses her.
Howard said he doesn't think that Richie is rally in love with her. She dated another guy when they took a break. Richie said his heart sank when she told him that. Howard asked why he would let go of her. Howard asked if they're sleeping together. Rachel said that they're not now because she doesn't want to be the fuck buddy. She said that she just wants a commitment. Howard said he would commit. He said he'd bang her right in front of Richie if he had a chance. He said this guy has flipped his lid.
Richie said that he's done things for her that no one else had. Rachel said he's the best guy that she's ever dated. She said that he's amazing and takes care of her. Howard asked what he does that's so good. Richie said that he'll drive two hours away to get her food that she likes. That's the kind of thing he'll do.
Howard asked Richie if he wants to date other chicks or something. Richie said that he realized how much she meant to him in the past couple of weeks. Rachel said that she's not sure how they go from taking a break to wanting to get married in a week. Richie said he's just willing to do that. He said he's not saying he will do it. Richie said that they've remained best friends during the whole time even when they take a break.
Howard said Richie is wacky. Rachel said he's really not and he's just a great guy. Howard said he can't believe this. He said she's super hot and great on camera. He said Richie is letting her go and Brandano is going to bang her. Richie said that they still hang out and go to Rick's and stuff like that. Rachel said they had their first kiss at Rick's. Richie said she has a great time there. Rachel said she has been groped but she's not looking to go the whole way with a stripper.
Howard said he doesn't understand this whole thing. He said he doesn't get why Richie would break up with her. Richie said she's his best friend. He was joking about Gary's ''Take me Back'' tape and saying that his professional life is at a ''noine.'' Richie said they had a conversation on Sunday and they're working things out. Rachel said it was awesome that they had that talk.
Howard asked when they last banged. It may have been about a month. Richie said that she's got her nephew staying with her now so it's going to be rough. Howard said he doesn't get why they're broken up. Richie said he's in it for the long haul now and that's it. Howard said Rachel doesn't seem to be annoying or anything. He said she could be a little annoying but not ''that'' annoying.
Howard asked Rachel if they're going to get together and start dating again. Rachel said she has more things to talk to him about. She said that she thought they were done last time but then he said some stuff to her at Rick's and now she's back on. Howard asked if the sex is good. Richie said it was with a very enthusiastic ''yeah!'' Rachel said it was good for her too.
Howard said that Rachel does this Bonus Show and he loves it. He said it's one of the best things on Howard TV. He said she's now an award winning host with the Telly award. He said it's the nicest looking award but people laugh when you tell them what it is.
Howard took a call from Wheels who told Richie that there's a lot of money in midget wrestling so maybe he can get into that. Howard said guys that see other guys dating hot chicks get angry that the hot chicks aren't dating them. He said that's why Wheels put him down. Howard said that Wheels could never get this chick and he's got to put Richie down.
Howard took some more calls and people were saying that Richie was full of shit and if he had the feelings for her that he says he does then they'd be together. Howard said that's what Rachel's feelings seem to be. Howard said he's not sure how anyone says they need a break. Richie said he just shuts down. He has an off switch. Rachel said that's true. He just shuts down.
Howard said he remembers when he got married he was only making $96 a week. He said that you just take that shot and hope things work out. Rachel said she was making twice what he was making when they first met. She doesn't care what he makes.
Richie said he won't invite Howard to the wedding if there is one. Howard said that's smart. He said he will send the resume.
Another caller said that he has masturbated to her in The Bonus Show. Richie is fine with that because he knows other guys do it. Howard thanked Rachel for putting those titties out there on the show for everyone. Rachel said she thinks of them as the third and fourth members of the show.
Howard took some more calls and ended up talking about Richie's Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighting and how he has some injuries. Howard said he did karate when he was younger and he had to give it up because of the injuries. Howard said he had to get a bodyguard instead. Howard said that's what Richie should do. Howard said he'd have his guy beat up a guy that would touch his girl's friend. Richie said Ronnie would come out and do that. Robin joked that Ronnie would use his cane to do that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they can make The Bonus Show longer. Howard said they like it short so people want more. Howard said they don't pad it out like America's Funniest Home Videos. He said they jam pack it into 7 minutes. Howard said you don't win a Telly for doing a shitty show.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who the hell these people were. Howard said Richie works for Howard TV and he's been there for years. Howard said Rachel is one of the hosts on The Bonus Show. Richie and Rachel thanked him for that call. Howard said it seems that it's back on again with the two of them.
Howard said Little Lupe was there but he had to take a break before bringing her in. He said this isn't the ideal situation for her to come in today without Dave Lampert there. They played her a theme song that they had created for her to the tune of ''Hot, Hot, Hot.'' Howard said Lupe flew in for this so he wants to say hi to her. He said he will make the Sybian thing happen in the future. They went to break after that.
Howard said that Lupe got her breasts reduced and she looked cute. She said they're a B-cup now. She said that they're better. Howard said they are more natural looking. He said she's really cute too. He said he's very disappointed that Dave wasn't there. Lupe said she heard about that. Howard said they have tornadoes or something out in the Mid-West so he wasn't able to fly in.
Howard said he was on Lupe's web site, ILoveLupe.com, last night and she was sucking some guy's penis that was so wide. Howard said that he felt bad about his own penis because that other guy's was so thick. Howard said his is long and thin. Lupe said she likes long. Howard said he's just saying long, it's not really long.
Howard said everyone loves Lupe. She said she knows because people come up to her in the grocery store and ask if she's from the Howard Stern Show. Howard said he loves the way she says ''pussy.'' Howard said she looks so young and it's kind of weird to see her doing what she does.
Howard asked Lupe if she likes her work. She said she loves it. Howard asked if she thinks it will ever get old for her. She said she thinks that it won't because she loves it so much.
Howard thought Lupe had said the N-word while she was talking about the girls she likes to be with. Howard said she could barely keep the dress on. He told her that if she wants to take it off she can. Lupe said that the dress was kind of annoying to her. Howard said it's like watching a 9 year old take off her clothes. He said it's kind of weird.
Robin asked Lupe if she's saving some of her money. She said she is. Howard asked if she walks around showing her ass and stuff in the stores. She said she does do that. She said she wears shots but her ass hangs out. She said people look at her and they love it. Lupe said guys love it and they never touch her because she's always with her boyfriend Evan.
Robin asked Lupe if Evan has a big cock. She said that he does. She was also saying that Evan used to date Tera Patrick but she thinks that she's too good to do porn anymore. Howard said it was kind of confusing when she'd come on the show and refuse to show them anything.
Howard asked Lupe about having anal. She said that Evan has tried but he's too big for her. Howard said he could do it with her because he's so small.
Howard said he saw Lupe banging this guy over and over again and he never came. Howard said it looked like hard work. He asked how they can hold out that long. Lupe said she's not sure. Howard said they were able to go for hours without cumming.
Howard said he would cum in 3 seconds with her. Howard said he can't stop. Lupe said she can tell a guy to stop and she can keep them going. Howard said he can't do that. He said he would just finish.
Howard asked Lupe about the panties she was wearing. She showed him and Howard said she looks like she's wearing a little girl's clothes. Howard said that's why he was so afraid of Beth finding out he was looking at her stuff.
Howard said he heard that Lupe was interviewed by TMZ and she didn't know what the oil spill was. Lupe said she did hear about it. She said that she doesn't read the paper much. Howard asked Lupe if she's all about shopping and fucking. She said she parties too. She said she drinks and parties more.
Howard asked Lupe what the last book she read was. Lupe said she didn't know the name in English. She told him what it was in Spanish. Howard thought she said it was Charles Bukakke. She said it was Charles Bukowski. Lupe said she hasn't read anything lately. She said she's very busy learning English right now. She said she has that Rosetta Stone thing to learn English from.
Howard asked if she's making money from the web site. She said that she is doing very well and she's shooting almost every day during the week for her web site ILoveLupe.com. Howard said her pussy must be on fire. Lupe said that she does her live show every day too. The times change for that.
Howard said he saw that Lupe likes to touch herself a lot in these videos. He said he's going to beat off to it too. He said that sometimes it's just her masturbating. Then she has girls and guys she does too. Lupe said that they have live interactive video too. She said the guys can tell her what to do and they have a guy who will fuck her but you don't see their faces.
Lupe said that she fucks her fans too if they're hot guys. Howard asked if she'll go to a club and just fuck guys. She said guys have to have a huge cock if they want to fuck her. Howard said that counts him out.
Howard said Lupe signed a contract with Wicked pictures. Lupe said that's a dream come true for her. She said she thinks about sex all the time. Howard asked how many times a day she has an orgasm. She said it's probably 10 times a day because she does the live shows all day long.
Howard asked if she can keep doing that web site stuff while she's signed with Wicked. She said she can. Howard said she's supposed to do 4 movies with them per year.
Howard asked Lupe about her drinking and blacking out. She said she's only 79 pound so it doesn't take much for her to black out. She said she finds her clothes in her freezer and refrigerator and things like that. Howard said she must know that guys are fucking her while she's passed out too. She doesn't think that's happening. She said that her parties are mostly girls so that doesn't happen.
Lupe said that she likes pussy and she likes to lick it and suck it. She said that she'll uses vibrators too. She has three of her own. She said her friends send them to her. Howard asked if she's into Lady Gaga and things like that.
Howard asked Lupe if she ever gets sad. She does. He dog died and she got upset about that. His name was Bonzo. Howard asked why she would name him that if she can't even say it. She said she got him off the internet. She said it was a Pomeranian. Howard said she probably blacked out and found him in the freezer. Howard asked if she accidentally killed the dog. She swears she didn't.
Lupe said she had a party one night and put the dogs in the room that she does her live shows from. She said that she didn't want the dogs to see what the girls were doing at the party. Lupe said that they shoot some stuff and then party at the parties she has. Lupe said that the dog was in the room with her other dog. Lupe said it was just one other girl at the party. She was drinking with her and the other girl drank even more than she did. Howard asked if she likes it when a girl puts her tongue in her ass. Lupe said she does like that.
Lupe told Howard in the morning she was in bed and her assistant came to her. Howard was shocked that she has an assistant. Lupe said she wanted to tell this story about her dog. Howard wanted to know more about this assistant. Lupe said she's really hot but she doesn't want to fuck her. Lupe said she asks all the time but she always says no.
Howard asked Lupe how she hired this assistant. Lupe said she works for Evan and for her. She said she has her own company now so she books he people for the movie and pays them and all of that. Howard said that's something else.
Howard said he had Lupe's dog calling in from Heaven. Howard took the call and it was the guys in the back playing barking sounds. She said that it wasn't her dog. She said he doesn't talk that much. She said her dog was small and not like that. Howard told her that it was her dog. She said she really doesn't think so.
Lupe said that the next morning they found the dog in the kitchen dead. She said she loved her dog so she wouldn't do anything to hurt it. Howard said they probably found a big, black dildo next to it.
Howard said he wanted to finish his week there with Lupe and Dave Lampert. Lupe said she will come back to the show again. Howard said he heard that people come up to her all the time and quote her from the last time she was on. She said they do.
Robin asked how old her dog was. She said it was 3 months old. Howard asked what the cause of death was. She said the dog was sick before she got him. Robin said she must have done something to it. Lupe said she had taken it to the vet a bunch of times but the dog was sick before. She said she bought it at a pet shop. Howard said you're supposed to buy it from a responsible breeder. She said she got another one from the breeder. This one is Pandita.
Howard gave Lupe some plugs for RockStarPornStar.com and ILoveLupe.com. Lupe also said that you can go vote for her at TheFameAwards.com too. Howard said you can get her Fleshlight as well. It's the number one selling Fleshlight out there now. You can get that at LupeFuentesFleshlight.com. Lupe said that it's super tight just like her real vagina.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to have phone sex with her. Lupe was fine with that. It was Sal and Richard in the back playing Hate Man audio clips. They had him having phone sex with her. They had him saying some really rough stuff to her but she played along. Howard said that was her Rosetta Stone lesson for the day.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Lupe does terrible pornos and Evan has an average cock at best. He said he's bigger than Evan is. Lupe said that Evan is huge.
Howard wrapped up with Lupe and said that she's very good to come in and work with Dave even though he didn't show up. Howard said they'll have her in another time though. Howard asked if she's religious at all. She said she's not. Lupe said she tries not to think about that stuff because she might get scared. She said she thinks that when you die you go into the sky. Howard said she acts like she's 11 just like she looks.
Howard asked Lupe if her parents like what she does. She said they don't love it. Lupe said they don't want this. She said they are happy that she's happy though.
Howard asked Lupe about her fear of Gypsies. She said that she doesn't like them at all. Howard asked what her plan is for her career. She said she wants to be a porno star and do a lot of fucking. Howard said she's the best. She said the most important thing is her web site.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he loves this girl. He said he's got a smile on his face and a boner. The guy asked if she was going to ride the Sybian today. Howard said he wants to save it for when Dave comes in. He said they'll get her back in there and get the guy in there.
Lupe said that she has a party coming up on Saturday. She said it's to celebrate the business she's doing. Howard took some more calls and had Jeff the Drunk on the line. Robin thought she had phone sex with Jeff but it was Big Foot she was thinking of. Lupe said she heard that on YouTube.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Lupe made his day today. He said he loves hearing her. Howard asked if she's going to be around for a while. She said that she has to fly home today because she has work to do. She's going home to have sex with some people. She's going to
Howard asked Lupe if she wanted to have phone sex with Gary the Retard. She said she would do that. It was Sal and Richard again with clips of Howard pretending to be a retard. Lupe played along with it. Howard told her that the guy was retarded so he didn't know that she didn't have a penis. That's why he was asking her to put her penis in his butt. Howard said this was actually Howard the Retard. He asked if she would rather have sex with this guy or a Gypsy. She said no to any Gypsy.
Howard wrapped up with Lupe and said she has a beautiful ass. He said she deserves that Fame Award for that ass. He said that Robin should get her involved in the 15 Foundation. Howard told her to use pictures of her for the charity. Lupe didn't understand what he was referring to.
Howard asked Lupe what she would do to Robin. Lupe said she loves big tits and Robin has big ones. Howard said she had them reduced. Lupe asked why she would do that. Howard said he wants to know what she would do to her. Lupe told Howard what she would do and said that Robin is hot. Howard said she's self lubricating too. Howard said Lupe could crawl right into her ass because she's so small. Howard said Robin would love that.
Howard said he had a girl on the phone who wants to have phone sex. It was Ray Stern. Howard picked up and the guys played clips of Howard doing his mother's voice. They had her talking dirty to Lupe. Lupe played along with it and told her to suck her pussy after Ray said she was ''parting the hairs.'' Howard told her that was her mom when they were done.
Howard told Robin to tell Lupe about the time she put road flares in her ass. Robin said her car broke down and they needed help.
Howard said that Lupe is beautiful. He said they don't really think she killed the dog either. Lupe said the dog was really small. Howard said she probably rolled over on it. Howard gave her some more plugs and then wrapped up and went to break.
Howard asked Colin if he's dating anyone. Colin said that he can't talk about that because if he's got more than one thing going on he might spoil it.
Howard asked Colin if he gets any groupies when he's shooting this movie with Adam Sandler and the guys. Colin said they were in Boston getting up at 7 in the morning so there wasn't much of that going on.
Howard said that Jim Breuer told him that they did horrible things to Will Ferrell over there. Howard said Jim said that it was Colin's idea to take him in the back room and threaten to rape him. Colin said that story is true but it was Jim's idea to do the rape character. Howard said it sounds like the funniest story ever when he hears it. Howard said Farrell didn't break character ever so they did this rape thing trying to get him to break but he never did.
Howard said Jim told the story and it was great. Colin said they had multiple rapes and they'd rape this one kid Ryan who would cry. He said that Tracy Morgan wasn't there in the first ones but he fell right into character when he saw them doing it. Colin said it was a very evil thing but they had a great vibe going on.
Howard asked Colin if they had a lot of funny stuff happening on the movie set. Colin said it was funny but he didn't have any moments in mind. He said that Spade and Norm MacDonald are great together.
Howard said it would be cool to have a making of the movie that they could have filmed. Colin said they could have gotten some of that stuff but not the stuff they did in their rooms.
Howard asked Colin if he knows what the other guys got paid to do the movie. Colin said that he got overpaid but he doesn't want to know what the rest of them got paid. He said the offer was so beyond what he should have gotten that he didn't even negotiate it. Howard asked if the excitement in his life is his one man show or this movie. Colin said this one man show is amazing. Howard said Jerry Seinfeld has invested $100,000 into the show.
Howard said he heard that Jerry has been giving him notes. Colin said he literally directs the show. Howard asked if he has added any funny lines too. Colin said he has but he's literally directing. Colin is doing the show like 5 times a week at 45 Bleecker there in the city.
Howard asked Colin about Ken Ober's death. He asked if he got sad over that. He said they stayed in touch so he felt horrible. Colin said they had a thing in L.A. for him and a thing in Connecticut with his family that he went to.
Howard said Ken was a young guy. Colin said that he was a funny guy too. Colin said they all got up and told funny stories about Ken at the funeral. Howard said he doesn't want anyone laughing at his funeral so don't invite Colin.
Howard asked what he said at the funeral. Colin said he misses doing the shows where the comedians all get together on this show. He said he'd like to do that again. Howard said Colin seems happier now. Colin said he's sitting on the same couch that Lupe was sitting on so of course he feels good.
Howard asked Colin to tell him about what he said at Ken Ober's funeral. Colin said he told some stories about working on Remote Control and how big that was. He said he told a story about some stuff that happened with them there.
Howard asked Colin about doing the TV show. Colin said he was barely making a living in comedy and they wanted to fire him when he first started. He said that he thought they should be paying him more so he had this arrogance about him.
Colin said he was in Crocodile Dundee 2. Howard said he loved that movie. Colin said he only had one line and he rewrote the whole movie based on that one line he had. Colin said that if they had listened to him they wouldn't have had a movie.
Howard asked if the hot girl from Remote Control, Kari Wuhrer showed up to the funeral. Colin said she did. He said she's got 3 kids and she looks great. Howard asked if he ever got a finger in her. Colin laughed. He said that Kari told him that he could say that the fucked but he just got a hand job from her. Colin said they were just having fun there on the set. Howard said he bets that she blew Ken. Colin doesn't think she did.
Gary came in and said that Colin knew that guy Larry the Cable Guy Colin said he tried to get his number but he wasn't able to get it. He said that he was going to tell him to do the character in small doses. He said that would have cost him like $500 million. Colin said it's good that he didn't get his number.
Howard said he's excited that Colin has this big movie with Sandler called ''Grown Ups.'' Colin said it's really funny. He said he's got a big role in it too. Robin had asked about that. Colin said he swears to god that he does have a significant role in it. Howard said he's not in the poster though. Colin said he plays the bad guy in the movie.
Howard asked Colin what he's promoting today, the movie or the play. Colin said that the movie sent him there so it must be the movie. Howard gave him some plugs for ''Grown Ups'' which comes out tomorrow. Howard said you can also get tickets to his one man show at ColinQuinnLongStoryShort.com. Howard couldn't believe that he had to get going so soon because he's so busy.
Howard asked Colin if he'll ever get married again. Colin said he might. Howard said he fucked up his marriage good. Colin said Howard loved that story. He said he grilled him over that story. Howard said he was having computer sex with people on the internet the week after he got married. Colin said he didn't understand computers very well at the time.
Howard wrapped up with Colin a short time later and said he can't believe he fingered Kari. Colin said that she told him it was okay to tell people he fucked her even though they didn't go all the way. Colin said they worked together and they had a little fun. He said it was just one of those things. Howard said maybe he was a bad fingerer. Colin said he never even considered that. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard got Mike on the phone and had him get right to his game so here's how it goes. Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard said he went over to the John Varvatos store the other day and he really enjoyed talking to the guy. He said you miss out on a lot if you try to stay away from everyone.
Steve said they have a story about former intern Leah Walsh's husband being sentenced to 18 years to life this week. Howard said he could end up getting out and drawing a free breath if they let him out in 18 years. Howard said the guy should be in prison the rest of his life.
Steve said Gary is set to be back as Gadget Gary on WPIX 11 there in New York on Friday. He won't be wearing his Techno Beaver outfit.
Steve said they also have a special 4 hour long Riley Martin show coming up. He said they have the George Takei special coming up on Monday night at 7 on Howard 101 as well.
Howard had Jon Hein run down his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon went through his list of stuff they have to talk about today on the show. That led to Howard asking Jon if he got to see that Little Lupe web site. Jon said he got the link but he didn't get a chance to go on.
Howard had Mutt from Superfan Roundtable on the phone. Mutt said they'll be talking about the Little Lupe thing but he's very depressed that Dave wasn't there today. Howard said he was genuinely upset about that. Mutt said they'll also talk about Chris Rock and the History of Howard Stern special that's airing next week. Howard said it's the best thing they produce. Mutt said they'll talk about that and also about Lupe and the Oprah deal Howard wants. Mutt said they'll talk about what that would be like for the fans if Howard had a half hour every week. Howard said it's a half hour whenever he feels like it, not even every week.
Robin started off with a story about how swingers are more likely to get STDs than hookers are. Howard said swingers all think they're clean and a hooker knows that she can get. Robin said that's what they found in this study. Robin said the swingers have a higher rate of STDs than hookers do. Robin said that older swingers are particularly vulnerable.
Robin read a story about the health care systems around the world being much better than here in the U.S. Robin said they found that the United States is ranked dead last. Howard said it seems like everything is going to hell lately. He said that everything is out of control.
Robin read about CNN hiring Elliot Spitzer to host a TV show. Robin said he will have a co-host on the show and the show will launch in the fall.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he missed a little bit of the Little Lupe thing. He said he had him convinced that it was going to be great with the two of them. He asked if they're going to do any games with her or give her a show of her own. Howard said he's not sure about a show. He said they'll do some games with her.
Robin read a story about the guy from The Bachelor breaking up with the girl he had picked in the show. Howard said the guy is a good looking guy but he can't hold on to a chick. Robin said the girl has to give back the ring too. Howard said he gets why they do that. Howard said that guy won her on a TV show and lost her already. He said he's a real loser.
Robin read a story about how Al Gore was investigated about having unwanted sexual contact with a masseuse a few years back. Robin said they didn't have enough evidence to go after Gore. Howard said the whole massage thing is dangerous and they should put an end to it. Howard said it's a recipe for disaster for any guy to have a chick rubbing him down like that. Robin said they had insufficient evidence to prosecute.
Robin read a story about Tiger Woods and his wife being seen going to their own separate divorce attorneys. Howard said they should call them and not visit the attorney. He said he thinks that the attorneys press release this stuff.
Robin said that President Obama accepted the resignation of General Stanley McChrystal. She had some audio of him talking about that and how he had a replacement ready to go.
Robin read a story about the World Cup and how the U.S. has advanced. Howard said he heard that it was a good game but Robin said it was 90 minutes of nothing and then one minute of a good play. Howard said they should be able to beat a country like Algeria.
Robin read about Melissa Etheridge being on the Joy Behar show talking about David Crosby giving her gifts when he helped bring children into her life. Robin had some audio of that interview. Howard and Robin talked about that for a couple of minutes. Etheridge thinks that she and Crosby were able to have a child with musical ability because they combined their DNA. Howard said that doesn't work.
Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't really answering him. Howard said he was killing him. He said he wanted to strangle the guy through the radio. The guy said he was having a bad morning. He said he wanted to know if he was dreading him asking him to write a foreword to a book. He was talking about Gary. Howard said he won't be doing that anymore. He said he's out of the foreword writing business. Robin said she was just going to ask him to write one for her. Howard said he's telling Robin no right now. He said ''Peace and love'' but he's done doing that. Gary said he's not even asking. Howard told Gary to just use the one he wrote for Artie.
Howard said what he's going to do is write a form foreword where you fill in the blanks. He said he'd write it so you fill in the blanks and circle the answers for things like his/her. Gary said he's not even asking Howard to do it and he's still getting a hard time about it. Howard told Robin not to write another book.
Fred played the Ringo Starr ''Peace and love'' clip after that. That's the clip where Ringo warns his fans he's done signing autographs and he won't be doing that anymore. Howard got a laugh out of that. He said he'd reprint that statement as his own if anyone asks him to write a foreword for their book.
Robin read about a fair worker's leg being severed by a roller coaster. Robin said it was lost to the Wacky Worm roller coaster. Robin said the guy stepped in front of the moving coaster and got hit. Howard wondered when people are going to realize that those rides are dangerous.
Robin said this woman whose face was ripped off by the monkey has decided not to go to her daughter's graduation because she's afraid the focus would be on her appearance and not on the students who are graduating.
Robin read a story about an auction that's going on for Bernie Madoff's right hand man Frank DePasquale. Robin said they have some ATVs and arcade games. Howard said he wouldn't want anything to do with any of that stuff that has to do with those characters. Howard said he's been reading about the conditions that Madoff is in and they don't sound so bad to him.
Robin read a story about how BP has put a cap on the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. Robin said they're working on another cap that will allow them to capture more of the oil later this week. Robin said they estimate that it leaks between 35-60,000 barrels of oil per day.
Howard said the fire alarm was going off and no one is even paying any attention to it. Gary said it goes off all the time and they don't react.
Robin read some news about Wimbeldon and what's going on with those games. Robin said they have a game going on that's been going for days now. They keep holding serves and they played for 9 hours and 58 minutes of play without a win.
Robin read about Jeron Van Der Sloot's mother saying she's glad her son is in prison. Robin said that Joren is in jail in Peru right now. She said the mother is saying that he's not a monster but he should be punished if he did what they claim he did.
Howard said Beth had her pre-interview with the Jimmy Fallon show people. She's going to be on tonight. Howard said that he was advising Beth on what to talk to and she told the story to the pre-interviewer and they told her that Jimmy was too conservative to have that story on the air. Howard said it was the story about the dildos falling out on the street. He said he hates those pre-interviews. He said they always make him feel like he's not funny. Howard said he tries to help Beth out with the interviews since he's done so many. Howard said she can just go on and look good since that's what they do with Paris Hilton. Howard said his advice looked bad yesterday with that story. He asked if Beth told the story the right way when she told him they didn't like it.
Robin read about Lawrence Taylor being indicted over the alleged assault of a minor. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about how they were going to have to prove this case to them. Robin said they say that Taylor paid $300 for sex from a 16 year old. Howard said he could never pay for sex. He said he knows that people like that but he could never do that himself. He said he wants the person to actually want him. Howard said the whole thing is depressing.
Robin said they have people in there all the time who are up to stuff like that. Howard said he likes to hear what they do so that's why they have hookers in there. He said he's fascinated by that. Howard said he could never do that personally.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he ever got a boner when he was getting a massage. Howard said he never has. He said he's really not an animal. He said he's nude with a sheet over him but he doesn't find it that sexual. Robin said he doesn't find it relaxing. Howard said he's very respectful. He said he enjoys the massage once in a while but he doesn't get aroused. He said he will never let Beth get a massage from a dude again either. He said he won't even let her get one from a gay guy because that's the day he'd go straight.
The caller asked if Fred gets massages. Robin said she knows he does. Howard said no one cares. The caller asked if Fred would get a boner too. Fred said he can't relax totally. He said he goes to professional places when he gets one. Howard said Beth was telling him how good looking Fred and Gary were last night at the charity show. Fred said she should get her eyes checked.
Howard said Richard Christy got a massage from a guy once and the guy stuck his hand in his ass crack. He said that's why he doesn't want Beth to get one from a guy. He said that he doesn't want anyone looking at his girl in that way. Howard said he's not interested in that.
Richard came in and said that he went to a place where they didn't have a woman to massage him so the guy was rubbing his hand across his balls and stuff. He said he just let the guy keep going. Howard said Richard is gay, he really is.
Robin said she had a massage in Miami once and he used his body to give her the massage. Howard said Beth is too nice to stop someone from doing that kind of thing.
Howard said any normal guy would stop it. Richard didn't bother. Richard said he just let the guy go and didn't make any noise. He said he did let him know he was uncomfortable. Richard said it felt fine though.
Robin read about this guy who was caught in Afghanistan hunting for Osama bin Laden. He was let go without being charged with anything. Robin said the guy claims that Pakistan captured him and kept him safe after they found him. Howard said he's a fan of this guy for going over there to try and find Osama.
Robin read a story about Latoya Jackson being moved by her brother's pet chimp Bubbles. She said that they have some video of her visiting the chimp in a TV documentary. She became emotional at the sight of the chimp. Robin had some audio of her crying as she was talking to the chimp and asking if he remembered her. Bubbles now lives in Florida. They say that he weighs 170 pounds and he's with 6 other chimps at this place.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Little Lupe was great today. Howard said they will make that Dave Lampert thing happen eventually. The caller said they could have had Richard stand in for Dave since he has a creepy voice. Howard said they could but it wouldn't be the same.
Robin said the new iPhone is coming out today. Howard said he saw the lines outside of the store today. Robin said the white iPhone is delayed for about a month because of some problems they're having with production. Howard said the phone is cool. He said he likes the video conferencing thing. Gary told him that it's not that cool because you have to be on Wi-Fi to do it. Howard said they're getting close though. He said he's going to have to wait for Blackberry to invent the same thing.
Gary said that Teddy and Jim McClure both had the cameras. Howard held Teddy's and was disgusted when he saw himself in the front facing camera. Howard told Teddy he looked like a mess with the tattoos he had too. Howard said he thought he was good looking today but the camera freaked him out. Teddy told him the phone is cool. He said he ordered his online and got it last night.
Howard told Robin to try the camera. Robin didn't want to do that either. She was freaked out by the way she looked too. Howard said he has to be locked in the cage with Bubbles after seeing that. Howard said everyone is just copying what Apple does with their phones. He said the whole thing with the apps is being copied.
Teddy said the typing is better on this phone. He said the front facing camera is horrible because you don't want to see yourself like that. Teddy said the phone was only $199. Gary said you have to do two years of their service too though. Howard said Teddy is a young guy and he has this phone. He said he wonders how he does it.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about the Chinese being stripped of some gold medals and the US ended up getting them.
Robin read about Scott Hamilton having brain surgery this week. Robin said that they found a tumor in 2004 and it came back near his pituitary gland so they're going in for more surgery.
Robin said that Kim Kardashian has a new boyfriend. She said that the new ''Grown Ups'' movie is out too. She had some audio of Maria Bello talking about doing the movie. She had some audio of Tom Cruise talking about working on his new movie too. Robin said the new Twilight Eclipse movie is out this week too. Robin said the movie opens on June 30th. She had some audio of Kristen Stewart talking about why the movie series is so successful. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:55am.
Jon went over some more stuff and asked Colin if he was in Scott's studio doing his Best of the Week stuff. Colin asked what happens. The guys told him about the bad luck that might hit him now. Colin said he'll be on the lookout for anything bad.
The guys talked about Jon and Rachel's Telly awards. They talked about how expensive they were and how they have to buy their own. Gary said he thought they gave out a certain amount and then you have to pay for more if you need them.
Colin talked about how they lost out to an Ace award to some other shows even though Remote Control was so popular. Colin said that Ken Ober actually took the Ace when some woman asked who she was supposed to give it to.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Colin was great on the show today. Colin said this is the first time they've asked him to come on the Wrap Up Show. Jon said that the seat is open for him at any time. Jon said they've taken his calls. Colin said that's true. Gary said they'll let Colin come on anytime. Colin said Gary once asked him if it was offensive to ask him to be on Hollyweird Squares. Colin said that's the greatest thing ever. He said he had a great time doing that.
Jon asked Colin if he minded waiting around while Little Lupe was on. Gary said he told Colin about what was going on and apologized for it. He said Colin was on a radio tour so he couldn't stick around. Colin said he didn't care that he got bumped to a later time. He knew that Lupe was going to do that and she was perfect on the show.
Jon said that Howard has some problems with her looking so young and looking at her web site. Gary said she's in her 20s but it is creepy looking.
Gary asked Colin what happened with the porn stars he was on the show with one other time. Colin said they were nice women. He didn't say if anything had happened with them.
Jon asked Colin about his play and if he thinks that Howard will come to it. Colin said he knows he won't. Everyone else will come though.
Colin figured that Howard would like to go see plays. He said he went to see West Side Story himself and he thought it was great. Gary said that he tried to get his son to watch the movie once and his son thought it was kind of gay. It doesn't really hold up today.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Colin was great on the show today. He said it seems like he's fading away and he should come on more often. The caller said he should be on like once a week or once a month at least. Gary said that would be a little bit too much.
Colin mentioned High Pitch Eric at one point. Gary told Colin about what High Pitch Eric is doing for a job now. He said that he's handing people cups at the Hard Rock at Yankee stadium. They said that makes Jeff the Drunk's job look even more important.
Jon asked Colin about the SNL stories he talked to Howard about. He asked Colin about how crazy things got there. Colin said there were people who were disgusted by it at the time. Colin said the offices were kind of crazy back then. He said it would have been great if they could have taped some of the stuff that went on back then.
Colin said he shared a room with Darrell Hammond and after he asked him if he could stop smoking the guy ended up in a different office. Colin said he shared an office with Chris Kattan for a while after that.
Colin told the guys about working on Remote Control and what that was like. He said they went to a strip club back then when they were first starting out and all of the strippers left their customers and hung out with them that whole night. He said that Ken Ober said that nothing was going to be the same after that.
Remote Control was the first real show that they did on MTV. Gary said he went to a couple of tapings and it looked like they had a lot of fun doing it. Colin said they did have fun doing that. Colin said they had to do this thing with one of the kids who won and he had 8 videos so they gave him the 9th video so he could win the car.
Jon asked Colin if the network gave them a hard time about anything there. Colin said they didn't expect it to be anything so it was a happy surprise for them. Gary said Adam Sandler was part of that show too. Dennis Leary was also part of the show. Colin said that Adam was really young on the show and he was hilarious. Colin said what he did was stupid but so beyond. Colin said it was really ironic but funny shit.
Jon asked if he ever thought that he'd be working with him on movies. Colin said he knew the kid had star quality back then. He said the kid just had the look.
Gary said that he and Colin have a credit together. He said they did Colin Quinn's Talk Back Live. They came up with the idea to do a Larry King like show on MTV. Gary said they called him in as an advisor and he found out they had only one phone line at the time. They didn't have any way to tell Colin who was calling in or what they had to talk about. Gary said he told them to get more phone lines so he'd have a chance to do his show.
A caller said he once met Colin and Ken Ober when he was out in L.A. He said Colin sat down with him and bullshitted with him for like 20 minutes. He said that he wishes that he had met Kari instead of them but he wishes Colin the best of luck.
Gary said that he knew Colin from Remote Control and one day he was in Central Park in the late 80s. He said it was really hot out and he was walking home to his apartment. He said he saw Colin unroll his cigarettes from his shirt sleeve and smoked one while he was running. Colin said his voice used to be even more gravely than it is now from smoking.
Another caller asked what happened to the chick who was on Remote Control before Kari. Colin said she ended up on some soap opera. Gary said they had Kari Wuhrer on the show the day that Sam Kinison screwed them with the Bon Jovi thing. Kari came in and told them to just get over it because she was there. Gary said she just wanted to talk about her movie.
Jon asked Colin if he thinks that Jerry Seinfeld would ever come on the show again. Colin wasn't aware that Gary had asked him to come on but he hasn't been able to make it. Colin said he thinks that it could happen. Gary said that Jerry isn't going to come there again. He said they've tried to get him in there and it just never works out.
Jon asked Colin how his show is coming along. Colin said he's really proud of it and it's great. He said it's like stand-up and a play mixed together. It's about history.
A caller asked Colin how he quit smoking. Colin said he wanted to enjoy going crazy from trying to quit. He said he wanted to enjoy the insanity. The caller said that he knows what the going crazy is like. The guy said this was the easiest time he's had getting on the show today and maybe that's Colin's fault.
Jon asked Colin who his favorite Wack Packer is. Colin said he thinks Jeff the Drunk is his favorite. He loves Eric the Midget too though. He said everyone gets mad at him and he loves that. He said that Eric looks like James Cagney who is his childhood idol. Colin said everyone gets so mad at Eric but that's the beauty of this guy because he says fuck everybody even when he has nothing. Gary said a guy in a wheelchair who is on SSI still makes demands. Colin said that's the beauty of the guy though. He said he's not going to be like that guy in the Lifetime movie that you expect to see.
Gary said that Eric makes demands about getting tickets to shows and stuff. He said that Eric will call and yell at him if he takes too long to get back to him.
Shuli came in and said that Eric is looking for a new manager. Gary asked what he needs managed. Colin said he wrote a movie for Eric and he wants them to make it. He said Eric could have taken that and turned it into a career.
Shuli said Eric thinks that Johnny Fratto is more concerned with his own career than with his. That's why he's looking for a new manager. Gary said that Eric thinks that he's been acting for 9 years but he's only had one acting gig.
Shuli told a story about Colin calling him in a hotel once and talked to each other as Jeff the Drunk. He said they were only 3 rooms apart.
Colin told a story about Jeff the Drunk and how he had once had a door slammed in his face by a porn star and he just blurted out ''How much would it cost to suck my cock?''
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they brushed by the Lisa G story that she screwed Colin on. He said that Howard should do away with her news stories. He said she's doing the hack news stories that they complain about all the time. The guy went off on Lisa for a few minutes complaining about the way she does her reports.
Jon took a call from Vinnie Favale who asked Colin how he raised the money for his show. Colin said that Jerry invested in the show. Vinnie wanted to know what the budget was. Gary said they should just get to the point and have Vinnie ask Jerry for the money. Colin said he knows Jerry has put at least $100,000 into it. He's not sure how much exactly. Vinnie wished Colin luck with the show and got off the phone. Jon said he knows that Vinnie has put up about the same as Jerry has for his play from what they've heard.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Colin if he worked with Jenny McCarthy on Remote Control. Colin said that was after he left. He said he's never worked with her. The caller asked if he likes Gary the Retard as a Wack Packer. Colin said he likes him too. He likes Beetlejuice too. Colin said that Shuli is great because he has all of them on speed dial. Colin said he loves Wendy the Retard too.
Gary said that Jeff the Vomit guy is great because of how creepy he is. He said that guy once brought his doctor with him to the show. They had to go to break after that.
Gary said Howard is more rational about it. He said that you tell a 10 year old that they're cursed and it's going to have a deep impact. Scott came in and told Colin that Tony Stewart had some bad luck after he was in the studio but it eventually wears off.
Shuli heard that Tony crashed in the next race after he was in Scott's studio. Scott said Rachel's grandmother died too but she was 96. Other than that he didn't really have any stories to tell about the curse.
Scott said his mom did tell him they had bad luck and in his teens he did notice that things weren't going right. Jon asked Scott if he's feeling good now that he's lost weight and stopped smoking. Gary said he's just now coming out of that defeatist cloud he was under. Scott said he's changing everything and getting away from that black cloud thing.
Jon asked Colin if he likes this Scott or the yelling Scott. Colin said he likes the yelling Scott. Scott said it's probably best not to listen to Colin's advice since he wanted to tell Larry the Cable Guy to cut back on that character.
Colin was also talking about Ronnie's attitude there and Shuli said that he really killed Ronnie in the roast they did for him.
Jon had Teddy play a clip of Howard talking to Lupe and Lupe talking about everything she loves. She loves penis mostly. That's where Howard thought she used the N-word.
Gary said it's great that she's trying to learn English through Rosetta Stone. Shuli said he's going to think about her every time he sees those commercials now.
Jon asked Colin how the fans treat him when the see him. He said they're great. He said they like to talk about the back stage stuff. Colin said he won the F-Emmy for that cat story he told on the air years ago. He said he used to tell the story in his act and guys would come up to him and tell him that they did the same thing.
Jon said that Howard was upset that Dave Lampert didn't make it in today but Lupe more than lived up to it. Gary said Howard takes the show very seriously and he wants the show to be spectacular. Gary said that she can't lose though. Jon said everything she says is great and she's the same off the air too. Colin said they could be describing Wendy the Retard there too. Gary said they have big plans for Lupe to do some stuff for them.
One caller said that they have to get Lupe's friends on the show. Another guy said that they have to get Lupe in there and stop just talking about her. Gary said she wasn't even there now.
Another caller said that they were talking about Lisa G and how she'd have a meltdown if they called her Lisa Glasberg all the time. He said he thinks that she has to have that Lisa G name and it's a move out of desperation. He said that she says it in a way that she has to get it to stick in people's minds. He finds it to be pathetic. Gary said that she's been Lisa G for 20 some years and she would get upset with it. He said that it is something different and easy to remember.
Scott threw out a joke that didn't go over too well. Jon asked if he's going to go out and do more gigs down in Atlantic City. Scott said he heard he might get more jobs down there. He said he had Medicated Pete down there dancing and they had fun.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Colin about something that happened at a comedy show he did years ago. Colin said that he was doing a show and a fight broke out. He ran off the stage to see what was going on and one of the bouncers stiff armed him. He said the mob had sent two leg breakers there to beat a guy up who owed them money. He said he was lucky he didn't make it outside because they could have beaten him up too. Colin said he ran back up on stage after that. Jon had to end the show a short time after that.
This week's Best of the Week was over around 11:25am.