|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show wondering why he was up so early. He said they have Donald trump calling in today and Ryan Phillippe will be visiting.
Howard said that Robin was on FOX news last week. He said he saw her performance on there. He said she was on with Stephen Baldwin and Nick DiPaolo. He was kind of upset about that at first. Robin said she didn't want to be part of a panel but that's the way they wanted to do things. Howard said he didn't know that Stephen was a political guy. Robin said she just started doing that stuff in the past couple of years. Howard said Baldwin has parlayed whatever he has going on into everything Jesus. Howard said he remembers Stephen at his bachelor party and playing poker with him. He said he has transformed into this Jesus guy now. Howard said that you do need a guy with a theatrical background to do that though.
Howard said people think that Robin is going to be going off on her own and doing her own thing so this is the way she's practicing for that. Howard said Robin always has an answer and he likes that. He said that she didn't even appear to be thinking and no smoke was coming from the top of her head. He said she was really good on the show and he's not just saying that.
Howard said he sees a future for Robin doing stuff like that. He said even if they stop doing this show she could continue on. Howard said he imagines that they'll be doing stuff together forever in some way though.
Howard said Robin seems like she's very informed on these shows. He said she seems to know something. Robin laughed and said that Howard knows the real her though. Howard said she really does know stuff though and she was able to pull it off on that show.
Howard said he's pretty sure she could get some work doing more panel interviews like that. Robin said there are a lot of shows that do that but she's not available all the time. Robin said she couldn't do this show and the other shows all the time.
Howard said he likes the new reinvented Robin. Howard played some of the audio of this guy Steve Doocy doing the panel with Robin, Nick and Stephen. He asked them about the guy on the plane that lit up a cigarette and got into trouble. Howard said that Nick seemed to have very little to say on this show. Robin said that it looked like they woke him up in the green room and he wasn't quite awake yet.
In the clip Robin had a lot to say about the cigarette guy. She gave her thoughts and Nick chimed in a little bit too. Stephen Baldwin was also giving his opinion about that story.
Robin and the panel commented on that guy for a couple of minutes. Howard interrupted and talked about some of the stuff they went over. Howard said that Steve seems to talk and talk. He said it's almost too much and he's not giving Robin and the panel their chance to answer. Robin said he's right about that. She said he did go on a bit. She said his set ups were very long and not essential.
Howard played some more of the interview. In the clip Nick had said something that stumped everyone. Robin said she's not sure what Nick was talking about. Howard said she should have said that during the interview. Howard told her she was good. He said he wants more of her. Howard said Stephen made some good points too. Howard said he gets upset that there wasn't enough Robin in that clip.
Howard said that Robin could have some work being a pundit. He said he hates that word. Robin said she does too and she hates the word chipotle. Howard said he doesn't hate that one as much as Robin does. He said he's not sure how he feels on that one. He just hates ''pundit.''
Howard played the second segment that Robin was in. They were talking about flag burning. Steve asked them about what they thought about that. Robin was up first and gave her thoughts on the flag burning. She was saying she's mad at the government but she's not out there burning flags. Nick asked her what it was that she didn't like. Robin said that they're all about politics even with the new administration. Robin said she just wants them to do their job. Steve had to end the segment and Nick commented that he ''almost got a word in.''
Howard said that he doesn't get what's wrong with flag burning and stomping. He said that it's like a kid trying to get attention. He said that they don't need a panel of 3 people to have that discussion. He said they all barely got a word in but Robin is good on these shows. He said she carries on and she seems to care. Howard said he'd probably be like Nick and not get a word in. Howard said he had to crowbar a joke in.
Howard said Robin loves it. Robin said she does love an argument. Howard said he thinks that Robin is going to get grabbed to be a panelist. He said he thinks it will happen. He just wonders what she'd get paid. He said this might be her calling. He said he likes her as one of the panel too, not as the moderator.
Howard said they can get sound bites of Robin in these things. He said she has something to say and that's what you have to be able to do in these shows. Robin said that you can even say something ridiculous just to get a reaction. Howard said the shows are like verbal diarrhea and you just say stuff to get reactions.
Howard told Robin to ask him about something and he'll give an answer that would get a reaction. Robin asked him about the Polish president getting killed in a plane crash. Howard said you say that they're being punished for what they did during World War II. He said that would be the Stephen Baldwin type of answer. He had a few other answers that he could throw out there. He had a couple like a conspiracy theory and the entertainment theory where they're stuck on an island like in the TV show ''LOST.''
Robin said she would ask why they're flying the guy around on an old Russian airplane that's known for bursting into flames. Howard said Robin has got something there and she could come up with good answers for that stuff.
Howard said they really don't need the long explanations during the panel. He said that the host should move it along faster.
Howard said that Dave Lampert, the intervenor of the Sybian, was creepy on the show but they must have gotten a lot of new subscriptions to Howard TV. He said that David Arquette was sitting in too so it made it that much odder. Robin said that it kind of creeped her out having him in there.
The caller said that it was great when they came in with the power tools like a pit crew. Howard said that was nuts. He said they were dismantling the thing in record time and he was getting annoyed and wanted it to just end. He didn't know how good the segment was going to be.
Robin asked if it was one of the most viewed shows. Howard wasn't sure yet but he thinks that it must have been the most viewed.
The caller asked Howard about what he said about Robin and him working together forever. Howard said that they could work somewhere else if he doesn't stay there. The caller said that he gets kind of upset when he can't hear the show every morning. He said he loves to be able to listen to his second family and he really appreciates what they do there for the fans.
Howard said he hates it when he can't get the show and he gets ''Acquiring Signal'' on the radio. Robin said she used to have that in the past and it would drive her crazy. Howard said he doesn't have that problem at home but in the car once in a while. Howard said he loves listening to the old shows and stuff on his channels. Robin told a story about a guy she knew who had a 3 month trial and it ended while he was driving around and he just wanted it to come back on. Howard said that's a great way to get people to subscribe.
Howard was joking around about what customer service told a fan last week about how Howard had nowhere to go so he would be staying there at SIRIUS. Howard said that they told the guy that he has no place to go. Howard said he doesn't have to stay there though. He's still hinting that he's leaving at the end of the year.
Howard said they think that the customer service people are in India. Fred said just about everyone's is. Howard did his Indian impression and goofed around with that for a few minutes. He was talking about how they would answer the phone to help a SIRIUS customer and then help someone with their airline tickets and a bunch of other things.
Howard was joking around about how he has no other place to go and had the Indian guy telling the fans that when they call to get service. Fred got in on that too and did his Indian guy impression and answered the phone as an Apple Computer support guy while he was talking to the SIRIUS Customer.
Howard said he's heard that people call customer service there and they get India. Howard said it must sound like a telethon over there. He said it's no wonder they wear bandages on their heads, they must explode with the phones ringing.
Howard had the guys giving people advice on how to get a signal and things like that. Howard said they probably get paid 14 cents a day to answer the phones like that over there.
Howard said he heard some disgruntled people around there. He said he heard that some of the executives gave themselves some bonuses and the employees were upset that they got the bonuses and they had canceled the Christmas party. Howard said the parties always suck though. He said a lot of these guys defer payment and stuff so you can't get angry. He said he was trying to stick up for management but it's not easy to do.
Howard said he usually keeps his mouth shut. He said he doesn't know what's going on and he doesn't want to know. Howard said he's just glad the business is still around.
Howard played some clips from the creepy Sybian ride from last week. He had clips of that guy Dave talking to Raven while she was on the thing. He had him telling Raven to keep her eyes closed and stuff. Howard she has to keep her eyes closed or else she'd throw up from seeing him.
Howard said someone sent them a doctored photo of Dave with the ''Get That Poison out of your system...'' line on it. He said he almost hung it up on his wall.
Howard played some song parodies that some fans made using the clips of Dave saying ''Fuck me Robin'' when he meant to say Raven. Howard had a bunch of those songs.
Howard said on Sports Center they worked in ''Get the poison out'' during a broadcast. He played that clip and the host worked it into ''Get that poison out of your system Ronnie...'' during a report about Ronnie Polino.
Howard said the Sybian ride episode is number one on Howard TV right now. He knew it was going to be up there.
Howard asked Gary why he hadn't booked Eric on the show. Gary didn't know anything about it. Howard said there were no plans to book him. Gary said they did mention that it might be fun to have him in to play Win Sal's Money but that was it. Gary said that they have to fly Eric in if they do book him on the show.
Howard said hi to Eric and asked what was going on with him calling Gary names. Eric said other people call him names. Robin and Howard pointed out that Eric doesn't like being called Midget. Eric said that's true.
Gary said Eric hates being asked multiplication questions and that's another reason he's mad at him. Howard asked Eric what 9x9 was. Eric said he didn't want to go through it again. They figured he had a calculator there so they asked him some more. He wasn't able to come up with what 9x6 was. Eric said he didn't want to be doing math this morning.
Howard and Robin asked what 9x5 was. Eric eventually came up with some answers but his math was a bit flawed. He got one wrong and Howard said that's the old Eric he knows and loves.
Sal came in and told the guys that Eric is doing a thing on SFN where he goes on as a mult (another name) and posts positive stuff about himself. Eric said that he's not the one doing that stuff. He said they can check and it's not his IP that's doing that stuff. Eric said he hasn't posted shit on there since he was caught posting under Romeo Blues.
Sal said that he would kick Eric's ass in a trivia game. Howard asked him what 9x9 was. Sal knew the right answer immediately. Howard said he probably would beat Eric.
Howard asked Eric what he wanted today. Eric asked what hulk Hogan's show was going to be about tonight. He's thinking of calling in. Howard said that Hulk is doing a show on Howard 101 tonight at 7. Hulk will be telling them something they didn't know because he's doing ''Hulk Hogan Uncensored.'' Eric said that Bubba's Twitter account blocked him from viewing them for some reason. Howard said he'll have to take that up with Bubba.
Howard said that Eric can tune in and talk to Hulk tonight. Then he told him they will only take calls from people who know their 9 times tables. Sal asked what 9x4 is. Eric didn't have an answer right away. Howard asked what 9x1 was. Eric told him to stop cutting him off. Eric said that 9x5 was 35 so 9 less would be 34. Howard laughed and Sal told him he needs a wheelchair for his brain.
Eric knew that 9x1 was 9. Sal told Howard to fly him in. Howard said they'll have to do his 1 times tables. Howard asked Eric what 9x4 was again. Eric said it was 34. Howard said he just wanted to make sure. Sal asked Eric what 9x7 was. Howard told him to give up.
Howard told Eric he was off by 2 with 9x4. He said the answer was 36. Eric said he was thinking wrong. Sal told him he was an idiot. Robin said he can't subtract either so that's a problem. Howard told him he's going to be screwed. Sal asked Eric what 100-18 was. Eric said it was 82. Sal said he thinks that's right.
Eric said that he would beat Sal at anything about history. They asked him who the presidents were during the Civil War. Eric didn't know. Fred threw in some clips of Cartman from South Park laughing when Eric would forget an answer.
Howard said he would like to get Eric down there for the game but they'll have to see. Eric said that he wants to check out some other stuff in New York when he's there. He said that he'd like to see ''Hair'' with Diana DeGarmo in it. Howard said he knows that in the original play they got naked. He wondered if Diana gets naked. Eric wasn't sure. Howard said that Eric would probably cum in his pants if she did.
Fred played some of the Dave Lampert clips during that discussion. Howard told Sal he has to make some calls with that guy Dave's voice. Sal said they did cut it up but they don't have any yes or no's in it so it's tough.
Sal said he thinks that Eric should have to ride the Sybian as a punishment if he loses the game. He said he'd have to have Dave hugging him like he did with Raven. Eric said that would never happen.
Howard told Eric that some day they'll get him in there. Gary told Howard that Diana DeGarmo does get naked in ''Hair'' as well as Ace Young from American Idol. Howard asked if they have a picture of Ace Young getting naked. Gary said there were no pictures.
Howard said he would like to see Diana getting naked too. He told Eric he might get excited when he sees Ace Young. Eric said that won't happen. Sal was saying that she must be a great singer if she's getting naked in a play.
Howard asked why he was doing a show with Sal. Sal said goodbye after that. Howard let Eric go too. Howard said that was a nice check in with Eric. He said he had to take a break after that. They have some stuff to get to today. They have Donald Trump calling in. Robin said she's hooked on Celebrity Apprentice. She said she saw Sharon Osbourne and Cyndi Lauper and she got hooked.
Howard said he's into this Celebrity Sober House. He said there was a lot of fighting going on and they have to run subtitles for Dennis Rodman because you can't understand anything he's saying. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and talked about that band Outkast and wondered what they were up to. He said that song was pretty good.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa said they have a story about how the softball team is returning. They found another team that backed out and TSS-Radio is going to sponsor the team.
Lisa said Mike Gange is going to be going on a bike ride that's 42 miles. Gange thinks that it will be easy for him. Howard said that it's not that easy. He used to do it himself and it was pretty tough. Robin said that Gange was in Texas for some reason. Howard said that's because they were down there with Ronnie for a new Rick's club opening. Howard said that Ronnie has stripped Gary of all of those appearances that he used to make. Gary hasn't gotten any calls in 2 years.
Gary said Lonnie used to call him to do the appearances but then he added Ronnie and they stopped calling him after that. Gary said Will had a good observation about it and pointed out that Ronnie goes there and does 4 days instead of just one night and his clips get played on the air. It's just good business sense.
Gary said Gange wasn't able to finish a round of golf last year with Will because he got too tired. He's not going to be able to do this bike ride. Howard said Gange is a big fatso now. Will said that Gange was in a golf cart too when they were out playing. He said he was a mess out there on the course. He said he was all sweaty just from swinging the club.
Howard goofed on Gange for a couple of minutes doing his impression. He said that Gange is going to die out there on the bike if he's that out of shape.
Lisa said that they have a story about a guy who is out of work and wrote a book about it. She said that a lot of people say that listening to the Stern Show is the way people get through those kinds of things.
Howard said that Ronnie's appearances are legendary. He said that people love him at these places. He played some more of the audio of Ronnie and wondered who that man was. He said sometimes Ronnie stops talking completely during the day. Then he has some Petrone shots and he gets this bad personality.
Ronnie came in and told Howard he didn't ace Gary out of any appearances. Howard said he did because Gary hasn't gotten any calls. Ronnie said that's not his fault. Howard said that they're just saying that Ronnie is the man now. Ronnie said he's not though. Howard said he did. Ronnie finally came around and said he didn't do it to hurt Gary. Howard said he wasn't accusing him of that. They were just pointing out that he aced Gary out and not on purpose.
Howard asked Ronnie why he started wearing his new glasses after he got his new ones. Ronnie said he had his new ones way before Howard got his new ones. He said that he was going to return them but he just started wearing them. Howard said he had to have inspired him to start wearing them. Ronnie asked why he has to be like that. He said he doesn't do that stuff.
Ronnie told Howard that the terrestrial radio guy really does sound like Howard. He said they're big fans of the show too. Ronnie said they had him on the show for like 40 minutes so it must have gone okay.
Ronnie said he had fun at the strip club. He said he had other women getting up on stage and getting topless. Howard played some more audio of Ronnie's yelling and screaming down there.
Howard wondered why a celebrity would want to win that show. Donald said they work very hard on the show and to a certain extent it's to protect their brand. He said that Daryl Strawberry quit so that wasn't good. He said that they had another guy quit last night. Donald said that his own attitude wasn't so great but he thinks that Michael Johnson is going to regret doing what he did.
Donald said that everyone wants to be on the show. He said that Trace Atkins was a country singer but before the show ended he had the number one record. He said that was good for his career. Howard said that could work for some celebrities.
Howard said that he had a good time with Jesse James when he had him on his show. He said that he was thinking about that and how he was on Celebrity Apprentice. Donald said he was on the show and he thought that Jesse was an interesting character. Donald said he wanted to know what Sandra Bullock saw in him. Donald said that he doesn't get the tattoo thing and wonders what people are doing. He said that's a different universe for him.
Howard said that Donald had some marriages and he's not sure if he cheated. Donald just laughed so Howard took that as a yes. Howard said that you have to learn to value what you have at some point in your life. Donald said that Jesse could have won Apprentice if he had brought Sandra on the show. He said that she was a hot movie star and he could have won. He said that maybe he was screwing around and didn't want her around at the time. He said the guy was very sullen and the other cast members didn't like him. He said that many of them hated Jesse. He said that Jesse and Clint Black hated each other. He said they went at it like you wouldn't believe.
Howard asked if Jesse slept in Hitler pajamas. Donald said that the guy is very smart but it took him a few episodes to figure that out. Donald said he did ask Jesse what Sandra saw in him and figured that he was just good in bed. Howard said that the girl he was with said he had a big penis. Donald asked if that woman is attractive without the tattoos. Howard said he doesn't think so.
Howard asked Donald if someone can get reformed and stop cheating. Donald said that they can. He said that he's completely faithful to his wife. He said it helps when you're very busy with work. He said that the company is doing very well and he's staying very busy. He said he's doing very well with Celebrity Apprentice too. Howard asked what kind of money he can make doing that show. Donald said that Howard was in the right ballpark when he said that it could be 50 million or so. Howard asked what it is about Donald that's so interesting. Donald said it's because he's a very handsome guy and he's very important.
Howard said Donald is a builder by trade though. Donald said that he wanted to do movies when he was growing up. He got in the building business by osmosis since his father was in the business. Donald said that he put movie making into the real estate business and now he has all of these great buildings out there that are his. He said that he made it very glamorous.
Howard asked Donald about how he wanted to sue this guy for claiming he wasn't worth what he claims he is. Donald said he's worth over $6 billion and this guy tried to make it seem like it was less. Donald said he's just trying to have fun. Howard asked how hard that is. Donald said that it's really tough. He said that he had this 47 year old guy that was working with him just die over the weekend. He said he got an infection at the dentist and he ended up dying from it. Donald said that he had a stroke and died. Donald said that happened to another guy he knew and it has scared him away from the dentist.
Howard asked Donald if he has been in touch with Tiger Woods. Donald said he has. He said that he and tiger know each other and Tiger plays at his golf courses.
Howard asked Donald if he has had multiple women in one day like Tiger. Donald said he had no comment on that. He said he wasn't sure that Tiger had even done that.
Donald told Howard that golf is very tough physically and mentally. He said he doesn't think that Tiger and his wife will ever repair what they had. He said that it's too damaged to fix. Robin asked if Donald has spoken to Tiger since the scandal. Donald said he has. He said that his agent is a great guy too.
Howard asked Donald how long he waited to make the phone call. Donald said that isn't any of his business what's going on with Tiger and his wife. Howard asked if he thinks that the wife is hot. Donald said it depends on who you're comparing her to. He said she's hot and fine for Tiger. Howard asked if she's a 10. Donald said she's a solid 9. Donald didn't want to say what she was missing. Howard begged him to give him something. Howard asked if he has ever met her in person. Donald said that he has, but it was a quick meeting.
Howard said that Donald is one of the greatest judges of beauty in the world. Howard kept asking why she wasn't a 10. Donald said the 10 is a very sacred area. He said that it's hard to get a 10. Howard asked if she has a bad ass. Donald said he wasn't going to say. He said that the current Miss Universe is a 10. Then Donald said that Elin is a 8 to a 9. Howard asked if she's flawed in the face or the body. Donald wouldn't say anything negative about her. He said that Tiger should just go out, play golf and have fun.
Howard said Donald's daughter just got married recently and she became a Jew. Howard asked if Donald wore a yarmulke at the ceremony. Donald said that he may have had one on his head for a short time. He said that the guy is a great guy and his daughter loved this guy. He said he's happy with her decision.
Howard said that Donald is a grandfather now too. He has two grand kids through his son Don. Donald said that they're not allowed to call him Grandpa either. He said that they're not old enough to call him anything yet though.
Howard said Donald has a new TV show called ''Donald J. Trumps Fabulous World Of Golf'' on the golf channel. They got a super hot golfer chick to co-host. Donald said he wanted to do a show similar to an older show about golf and he picked beautiful women to be on the show. He said he wanted to get Miss Universe to host even though she didn't even know what a golf ball was. Donald said that people love the show and he's having fun with it. The show starts tonight on the golf channel.
Donald asked Howard if he's still part of the top 10 moments on his show. Howard said he is still in there for his fight with AJ Benza. He wasn't sure what the second one was though.
Howard and Donald got back to Elin and how she had dropped down to an 8 all of a sudden. Howard said he admires the fact that Donald called Tiger Woods about this whole thing. He wondered what he talked about. Donald said he has a lot of respect for him and he didn't bring that up. He said that Tiger uses his courses and he must like him for that. Howard asked if he had a superficial conversation with him. Donald said he didn't want to talk about that.
Howard asked Donald if he ignores the topic completely. Donald said he didn't bring it up. He asked how long the conversation was. Donald kept saying he didn't want to talk about it. He said he didn't know what the was cheating all that time either.
Howard asked Donald if he had his personal phone number and just called him up and said hi. Donald said that it doesn't matter now. He said that Tiger is back to plying golf and he doesn't think that he'll get back together. He said that he's better off if he doesn't.
Howard asked if Tiger can get back his sponsors. Donald said he doesn't think he can. He said that he'll get other sponsors but not the ones he lost. He said that he had the Rolls Royce of sponsors out there and he lost them... other than Nike. He said that Nike stuck with him though. Howard said it must be great when they throw money at you like that. He said that Tiger must be going insane over it.
Howard told Donald about the beauty pageant they had. Donald said he should have been part of that and they shouldn't have picked the one who won as the winner. Howard said they picked her because she was truly in love with him. He said that he could tell from the way she was talking about him. Donald said he heard that Tiger gave a lot of money to Rachel Uchitel but he doesn't have any proof of that. He said that's just what he heard. He said he's not sure why he did that either.
Howard told Donald about some of the stories the girls told about Tiger and how he had pounded one in the ass while she was on her head and then stuck his fingers in her vagina to make her squirt. Donald said that he bets Elin has never even heard that.
Donald said he remembers an interview Howard did with a guy who claimed that he had only had gay sex once and that meant that he wasn't gay. Howard asked Donald if he has ever done that. Donald said he has not.
Howard said he saw that Donald is still feuding with Rosie O'Donnell. Donald said he's not feuding. He said that she's a loser and she's got nothing going on. He said that she chickened out on The View and she was kicked off her other show. He said that her agent must be great though to get her all of the work she gets.
Howard said he was just on Rosie's show there at SIRIUS. Donald didn't know that Howard was a fan. Howard said he wants to make peace between the two of them.
Howard asked Donald who he would be chasing if he wasn't with his wife. Donald said if he weren't married... then he stopped himself and said he didn't want to get into this conversation. He said it's nothing but trouble. Howard said his wife must have gotten to him. Donald said Howard once asked him how long he'd wait to leave his wife if she was in a car accident. Donald said that he said he would stay with her forever. That was the smart answer. Donald said he and his wife are still very happy in bed. He said he has no complaints.
Howard asked if he masturbates at all. Donald said he hasn't done that in a very long time. Probably since before he discovered women.
Howard asked Donald about Rod Blagojevich being on Apprentice. Donald said that was a big deal and it caused a lot of controversy. Howard asked if he thinks he'll go to jail. Donald said he felt sorry for the guy and he thinks that he could get out of it. Donald said that guy is really out there though. He said that he was constantly talking about how he's not guilty.
Howard asked Donald if he ever hung out with Bernie Madoff. Donald said that he knew him from going to places he owned but he never invested with him. Donald said that people did tell him about Madoff though and he never did invest. He said that Palm Beach was like ground zero for Madoff. He said he knew a guy who gave him $200 million and then mortgaged his house to give him even more money. He said they gave this guy everything and didn't spread the money out. Donald said he likes to invest his money himself and not have other people do that for him. Donald said he looks at the stock market himself but he doesn't invest in the market that much. He said he puts it into real estate and things like that.
Donald said that real estate is actually a great thing to invest in now. He said that he wouldn't have said that a few years ago. He said that now it's a great time to do that kind of thing. He said he just bought 850 acres on the Potomac down in Washington DC.
Howard gave Donald some more plugs for his new TV show and the Celebrity Apprentice show. Howard said he ran into his daughter recently and she's gorgeous.
Donald said he had a good time doing the show today. He said it was invigorating. Howard let Donald go a short time later. Howard said the guy now has 850 acres on the Potomac and they have nothing. Howard said that Donald is very nice not talking about Elin and Tiger.
Howard took a call from a guy who complained about Donald giving away the ending of last night's Apprentice. Robin told the guy that he didn't give away the whole ending. She said there was still a firing last night even though the one guy quit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Elin is an 8 or 9 because she has kids. That's why Trump knocked her down. Howard said that could be it.
Howard said Gange and Richie Wilson pulled out the power tools and it was just wild. Howard played more clips and said that it sounds like the guy was killing her during her Sybian ride.
Howard did his impression of Dave and said he spoke to Raven after that Sybian ride and she really loved it. She said that the orgasms were real. Howard played more of the audio of Dave talking to Raven during her ride. He kept telling her to keep her eyes closed. Howard said Dave wanted to keep her going too. He told her to get that poison out of her system too.
Howard said someone emailed him and said that Raven was lying about getting accepted to Harvard Law School. He went through the email to find that one. He had some other feedback about that Sybian ride. He said some of the people were saying that it was a very weird segment.
Howard said David Arquette got a lot of compliments. He said he sent him a note telling him about that. Howard said that he couldn't find the email about Raven not getting into Harvard. He said he wants to believe that she did.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who had fallen asleep while on hold. He had a really awful sounding snore. Howard said he had never heard a snore like that. Robin said it sounded like he was sleeping with a pig. Howard said he must not get girls. He said he couldn't possibly with that kind of snore. He said his poor parents must have to hear that every night. Howard did his Indian impression talking like his parents. Robin said Hanzi would get mad at that if he heard it. She said he hates that.
Howard tried to wake Hanzi up but he wasn't able to get his attention. Hanzi kept snoring as Howard was talking. Howard said that snore isn't normal. He said that he must get that from getting high so much. Howard said at least he doesn't have to worry about missing work. He asked Robin when he last worked. Robin had no idea.
Howard left Hanzi on the line as he took some other calls. Another caller told him that the Howard TV episode was great and he'd give that a rating of ''four rags of chloroform.'' He asked Howard how many times in one night he was able to have sex. He said that he did it like 5 times with that girl from Princeton. the caller said he had it 7 tines with a chick but about a dozen times masturbating. He said that he tore the end of his penis from doing that so much.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked him about working at other stations when he was starting out since he had just seen ''Private Parts.'' Howard said he used to get to play some good music when he was starting out. While he was talking about all of this Hanzi was still snoring in the background.
Howard said that they got to WNBC and they had to play some really shitty music. He said that they had to play Barbra Streissand and stuff like that. Howard said he was having a hard time talking over Hanzi. The caller asked about Howard one of the scenes in Private Parts where Howard got Robin to come back and work with him. Howard said that wasn't exactly how it went down but it was a condensed version of the story.
Howard talked about how awful Pig Virus was to work for. He said he was the worst of everyone he ever had to work for. Robin said she hates him so much that she didn't go to a party that Howard threw because there was a chance that he was going to show up.
The caller asked Howard about the people he worked with and if he had anyone that he liked. Howard said he like this guy Wally Clark and Randy Baungarten. He said Mel Karmazin was the best of them all.
The caller also asked about the scene where his father was smashing records. Howard said that was actually very close to the real story. He said he saw it for himself when he was up there.
Howard let the caller hang out on hold for awhile. He still had Hanzi on the phone snoring. He said he'd leave that up during the commercials. He said they may leave him on during the Ryan Phillippe segment too. He listened in to the snoring and said he doesn't sound healthy at all.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if David Arquette was stoned. Howard sand Robin said they think that's just the way he acts. The caller also asked if he would ever do a sequel to ''Private Parts.'' Howard said he doesn't have any plans to do that. He said he did love making that movie though. He said that was probably the coolest thing he's ever done. He said he had to get over that ''oh my god'' moment when he thought about how he didn't know what he was doing. He said it took him a couple of days to figure that out. He said he felt like he was riding on top of the world.
Howard and Robin talked about some of the stuff they had done for them on the movie. They talked about how great that was and how Howard had his own apartment at the studio. He had a gym and a ping pong table in there even though he doesn't like ping pong. Howard said they'd give him anything he wanted. He said it was pretty insane. Howard said the only thing that ruined it was actually making the movie. He said if they didn't have to make a movie they would have had it made.
Howard came back and asked if Hanzi was still snoring. He was. Howard said that maybe he'll leave him up during Ryan Phillippe's appearance. He said that Ryan is JD's buddy. Last time they spoke to him he was married to Reese Witherspoon but now he's banging every chick he can in Hollywood.
Ryan came in so Howard asked him if he wanted to hear Hanzi. Ryan said he wanted to hear him actually. He was amused by the snoring. Howard asked Ryan about the tattoos he had. Ryan said they airbrush all of that out in the movies now.
Howard asked Ryan if he was in drama club or anything. Ryan said he wasn't. Howard said that when Ryan was on last he wasn't this bulked up. Ryan said he really hasn't. He said he does train a lot and he's eating better now. He said he must have lost the fat. He runs a lot too. Howard wondered why Ryan looks that good doing the same stuff he does. Howard said he's benching 95 pounds. He asked Ryan what he does. Ryan said he got up to 205 not too long ago.
Ryan said it's really great to be on the show. Howard said it's great to have him there and he thanked him for hanging out with JD. He asked Ryan about the depression he has and Ryan said that he could relate to Artie's depression. Howard asked if that's what broke them up. Ryan said that wasn't it.
Howard said that Ryan was dating this Abbie Cornish chick. Ryan brought up how the butcher his name on the show but he does love that he's part of the Howard Stern world. He said that he's doing Saturday Night Live this week and he heard Don Pardo butcher his name this week when they mentioned he was coming up next week. Ryan told Howard the correct pronunciation.
Howard asked Ryan how he and Abbie announced their break up in the press. Ryan said that came as a complete surprise to him when she announced it. He said that she blamed it on her publicist but the publicist always checks with the person before they put that out there. Howard said that she was making sure people knew that she broke up with Ryan and not the other way around. Ryan said that he's tired of getting shit on and he's not sure why that goes on. He said that people break up all the time and he gets shit on when it happens.
Howard asked Ryan about the kids he has with Reese. Ryan brought up Benjy and his Wikipedia page editing. They talked about that weird situation and how they found out that Benjy had edited Reese's page. Benjy didn't have much to add to that.
Howard asked how often he gets his kids. Reese said that they're great friends and great co-parents. Howard asked if Jake Gyllenhaal is a cool guy around the kids. He said he knew he was cool already. Howard asked about the new guy she's with. Ryan said he has to trust her judgment and he does.
Robin asked when Ryan decides to introduce a girl to his kids. Howard said it must be tough because he dates like a mother fucker. Ryan said he really doesn't. Howard said he had a list of girls he has dated. Ryan said that they've done this before and most of them aren't even true. Hanzi's snoring could still be heard in the background as this was going on.
Howard asked Ryan if he wants to have more kids. Ryan said he loves kids so he wouldn't say no. Howard said Ryan is a good looking guy and even he's attracted to him.
Howard said that JD brought Ashley Dupre to Ryan's house and he was making out with some goth chick. Ryan said that wasn't true either. JD came in and said that he didn't screw up Ryan's last name. He said it right when he came in. He had said that Ryan's house wasn't that nice when he was there. He said it was just alright.
Ryan also said that JD said that his girl wasn't that hot but she was gorgeous. Howard said JD can never say anything is great. He said he seems to be unavailable emotionally. He said he'll just say it's alright no matter how great or bad something is.
Howard said that JD has no game at all. Ryan said that the helicopter ride wasn't a great idea. He said he wanted to tell JD that when he came up with the idea. Howard said that Ryan has a rap and he sees why he's a movie star. He said that he's prettier than most women. Howard said he thinks about guys like Paul Newman when he sees Ryan. Howard said he can see why it's easy for him to get this gorgeous goth chick. Ryan said he's just enjoying where he's at right now. He said he's enjoying being single.
Howard asked if the goth chick thinks she's exclusive with him. He said that she probably does but he can't just go out and cheat on her. He said that it's all in its infancy right now. He said he commits to a girl and goes all in if he's interested. Howard asked if the break ups happen face to face. Ryan said they do.
Ryan asked to get back to JD. Howard got back to him and said that JD showed up to his house with Ashley Dupre and he really doesn't think he's getting anywhere with her. JD said he knows he's not. Ryan said that JD showed up drunk and he had said he didn't know how to use chop sticks and JD spent an hour at the table trying to figure out how to use them. Howard said that Ashley was probably in the bedroom blowing Ryan while JD was doing that.
Ryan said that the date was for a movie promotion and JD knew nothing was going to happen with Ashley. He said he just wanted to help him out. He said that everyone loves JD and all of his buddies were like JD when he was growing up. He was trying to help him show off or something. Howard said he thinks that JD should have gone to a burn unit at a hospital or something like that instead.
Howard said it was very nice of Ryan to help JD out. He asked who else was hanging out there. Ryan said his girl's friend was over and some other actors were hanging out. JD mentioned that Breckin Meyer was going to show up but they left before he came. Howard didn't know who the guy was so Ryan told him what movies he's been in and who he was. Howard just goofed on the way JD said his name.
Howard asked JD if he's going to go see Ryan at SNL this week. Ryan said he'd bring him to the after party. JD said he likes one of the girls on the show. That was Abbie Elliot. Ryan said he could introduce them at the party. Howard said he read that Ryan dated her. Ryan said that wasn't true.
Ryan asked Howard if he had gone out to L.A. this weekend. Howard said that's not happening until May. He said he's going to go to Jimmy Kimmel's place for a barbecue. He said Ryan should come to that and bring one of those hot chicks with him.
Howard said he had a list of women that Ryan has been seen with. He read about some of those women and Ryan said that these stories are all crazy. He said he hadn't met Jessica Simpson and he wasn't with Jennifer Love Hewitt like they were claiming. Howard read that he was seen flirting with Lindsay Lohan. Ryan said no way to that too. Howard said that he was mad at that. Ryan said he's really not that kind of guy. He said if they had something real in there he would tell him.
Howard read that Ryan had auditioned for the part of Captain America. Ryan said that he did that and they didn't want him. He thought about how Howard would have loved it if he had played the part. Howard said he probably would have.
Howard said Ryan is in this new ''MacGruber'' movie. Ryan said that it's based on the SNL bit but it has nothing to do with that. He said that it's a hard R rating and there's a lot of nudity in it. He said that the sketch on the show is much different than what the movie is. Ryan said the movie has the edge to it like the bits they do on the show. Ryan said that the initial pitch for the character was that he was MacGyver's brother who only used shit and pubic hair to do everything that MacGyver does. Ryan said he plays the sidekick to MacGruber. He said that the nudity in the movie is a lot of dudes. He said they have some really funny stuff and he is nude himself. He said that there's one scene that will probably haunt him the rest of his career.
Howard asked Ryan if he thinks about his ass before he does a scene. Ryan said they do ask if you have any marks on there that they need to cover up. Howard said his own ass is funny just to look at.
Howard said he thought that Ryan had hosted SNL before. Ryan said he was on one with Reese when she hosted but he's never hosted the show himself. He said the one he did with Reese was the first one after 9/11.
Howard asked Ryan if he and Reese ever have sex anymore. Ryan laughed and said no. Howard said that does happen with some couples. Ryan said he's sure it does but not with him and Reese.
Howard asked Ryan about how hard it is to do movies and stay in a relationship. Ryan said he's a jealous person so it's a hard thing for him. Howard said he would have banged Reese if he had worked with her. Howard said even a good looking guy like Ryan has to worry and he loves that.
Howard asked Ryan if he has a small penis. Ryan said he thinks that he's doing fine. Howard said he wishes that it was small. Ryan said it's not small.
Ryan joked about how he had taken a shit in the special bathroom back in their compound. He said it's really not very special. He said they have the tickle chair in there. Howard said he's not into tickling anymore. Ryan asked if they're going to retire the Sybian now too. Howard said he's not going to do that. He said he may do that creepy voice when he has girls on it now though.
Howard asked Ryan who he was jealous of working with Reese. Howard took a guess saying it was Joaquin Phoenix. Ryan said he was a really nice guy so it wasn't him. He said that he actually went to a dinner with him and a bunch of other celebrities at a Bill Clinton function.
Howard asked Ryan about who he was jealous of. Ryan said he didn't want to talk about it but then he said that this one guy did an interview where he said that when he saw Reese for the first time he knew he was going to marry her some day. Ryan said that guy was basically saying that he was in love with his wife. He said that wasn't cool. Howard said Beth did a show where she had to kiss a guy and she looked like she was into it. He said that wasn't cool. He said that guy was Josh Lucas.
Howard said that Reese works with guys like Christian Bale and Luke Wilson. Robin said that Christian Bale doesn't seem like a fun guy.
Howard asked Ryan if he's not dating actresses anymore. Ryan said that would be best because he doesn't want to deal with that stuff in the press. Howard asked if they get into this comparison thing about whose working and not working. Ryan said that never bothered him and he's really not that guy that they paint him out to be.
Howard asked Ryan about the movie and why he's out promoting it. Ryan said the movie is coming out in May but they'll have some video of it for SNL this weekend. Ryan said that he's probably the least famous host they've ever had. He said they have some great people on the show now. He said he has worked with some of the people from the show on this movie so he wants to see how they do the show. He said you have to appreciate how they do the show so quickly.
Ryan said he was going to ask Howard to help him out on the show and appear with him. Howard said he did that once but he went about it the wrong way. He said that it wasn't one of his proudest moments. He said he was out of line doing what he did on the show. He said he didn't really know anyone on the show. Ryan said that he should show up for the Gabourey Sidibe show the week after he's on. Howard said he's really not against her. He said he would do the show. He said he'd go on and tell her she can't work in Hollywood. He said he'd probably show up with 50 pizzas and have a pizza eating contest with her. Ryan said that would go over well.
Howard asked Ryan what kind of ideas he had for SNL. Ryan said he's going in for his first meeting today. Howard told Fred to come up with some stuff. Ryan said he wants to do another movie with Fred. Fred worked with him in something and it was the last major movie that Fred did.
Ryan told Howard that he saw ''Private Parts'' last week and it really is a fun movie. He said she really didn't know much about Howard so it was like an education about Howard for her.
Howard said he'd like to go on with Gabby Sidibe and make out with her. He said he would do that sketch if she was up for it. He said he'd love to do a love scene with her. Howard said he and Fred and Benjy will write the bit for them too.
Howard asked Ryan about the movies he has coming up. He said he's doing a Western with some big names. He said he's doing another one in July with Matthew McConaughey. He said he's working with Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfus in another one. Ryan said that things are really good right now. He said he wants people to see him for who he is and he's been battling a lot of internal demons. He said now he's willing to do commercial movies like he wanted to turn down in the past. He said that was kind of a dicky thing to do.
Ryan was talking about a creepy casting moment he had where he was supposed to take his shirt off for the guy. He said he walked out of that. Fred threw in some of the Dave Lampert Sybian clips during that discussion.
Howard checked on Hanzi and fond out he was still snoring but not as loud. Another caller asked Ryan if he's into weed. Ryan said he does that once in a while. Howard said he could probably get a prescription out there. Ryan said he doesn't want to be ''on the books'' out there.
Howard said Ryan had to get going over to SNL. He said hopefully next time he comes in they'll have a bigger list of names of women he's been with. Howard gave him some plugs for the MacGruber movie and for his SNL appearance this week. Howard told the girls around the world to hang in there, they might be next on Ryan's list. He went to break a short time later.
After the break we heard a prank call High Pitch Eric made to a pharmacy asking for Twat cream. Fred also played The Who's ''Who Are You'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said he can't wait to see the John Gotti Jr. interview from last night's 60 Minutes. He said he has it on TiVo. Robin said her TiVo died so she has to get a new one. Howard played some audio from the segment where they played some audio of Gotti Sr. yelling at his 10 year old nephew after he thought he had been disrespected by the kid. They had some other audio of the guy going off on some other people too.
Howard said that sounds like a tough guy to grow up around. He said that he was the real deal. Howard said that was a tough guy. Robin said she's not sure how you get that way. Howard said he wishes he could be a bad ass like that but no one listens to him.
Howard said that's some pretty scary stuff actually. Robin said you could cross a line that you didn't even know existed and get into some big trouble.
Gary said that Benjy did make it seem like he was related and if they talked about the guy then bad things would happen. Benjy didn't deny doing that.
Steve said they have a story about Ronnie appearing on a talk show in Texas and how the host was talking about how scary it was when Howard came to town and told everyone they were going to be his bitch.
Steve said they have a story about Chuck Zito going along with a woman who wanted a body guard. Chuck was accused of carrying a gun but Howard said Chuck doesn't need a gun. He could kick someone's ass without one no problem. Howard said you'd be grateful if he did have a gun.
Steve said they have some news about boxing promoter Damon Feldman being accused of staging fights. The Danny Bonaduce and Bob Levy fight wasn't in the story so it's not clear if it was fixed. Howard said his name was all over that story. He said they mentioned Bob as being from the show but he really doesn't know what the guy is up to. He said he had nothing to do with that fight.
Howard said he had Yucko the Clown on the phone. He said he heard the tape of him down in Augusta at the Masters. He said he's lucky he got out of there alive with the stuff he was asking. Howard said he went up to a very large black woman and said ''Aren't you precious..'' and she says thanks and then Yucko says ''No, aren't you that Precious, that fat black bitch from the movie.'' Howard wondered why he doesn't get beat up by these people. Howard tried to find the audio so he could play it.
Howard found the clip and Yucko told him that he was actually thrown out of town for doing what he did. Yucko said he got what he needed before he left. Howard played the audio and Yucko was pretty brutal with some of the people. Howard got some laughs out of it. Howard told him he was out of his mind asking some of those questions. He said he's amazed he doesn't get his ass kicked. Yucko told Howard the video is on DamnShow.com and he has an iPhone app now too.
Howard let Yucko go and talked about how crazy he is doing those interviews. Howard said he knows they're legit though because he's seen him do it before.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and asked Robin if she had her green drink today because she picked Ryan over John Stamos today. Mariann said that John is the hottest guy out there. Mariann said that Donald Trump doesn't like the way some women smell and that might be why he gave her an 8. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon ran down the list of stuff they had coming up today.
Eric asked Howard if he can go out and do interviews like Steve Grillo did. Howard said he doesn't think that will work. He said that something will go wrong. He said they can't give him access like that. He said he'd be asking for free stuff all the time.
Robin started her news with a story about this movie ''Kick Ass.'' Howard said he just saw Sherlock Holmes and really liked it. He said he was surprised that Guy Richie had directed it. Howard said he was down on the idea of this movie but then he thought about it and Batman started out as a regular guy. Howard said they did Sherlock Holmes like that too. He said that he was like a super hero in a different way. Howard said he doesn't think that this new movie is for him though. Robin said that there are people doing this for real in New York City. She said these guys wear masks and spandex and spread love around.
That story led to Howard talking about a movie Stan Lee had come up with for him to do in a movie. He said that it was a great idea and he would have loved to have told the story to Robin but he's not sure if that would be cool with Stan. Howard said he's not sure if it would have worked. He said he has to refresh his memory on that one and he might have to go through it again.
Howard said he saw that Jim Carrey was defending Tiger Woods on his Twitter. He said that was odd. He said that he was coming out and attacking Elin. Robin said maybe Jenny was right to get out of that relationship.
Robin read a story about an auction that went on for a Star Trek thing out in Las Vegas. Howard talked about a texting app that's out that self destructs in 60 seconds after opening it. Robin wondered how they can do that. Howard said he doesn't know but it's called Tiger Text. Howard said that everyone is getting it.
Howard said he read that Cousin Brucie got an honorary doctorate from some college. He said that he'd love to get something like that and he'd even go and make a speech if some school like Harvard gave one to him. He said he thinks he would go speak if they gave him one. Howard wondered what Cousin Brucie would talk about and came up with stuff as he was doing his Cousin Brucie impression. He did that for a couple of minutes. Howard said that they've got to be kidding with that honorary doctorate.
Robin read some news about Tiger Woods and Elin. She read about another woman who has come forward. She's giving details about why Tiger said he was cheating on his wife. She's suggesting that the wife get out of there because Tiger just isn't a good guy. Robin also had some news about Tiger playing at the Masters in Augusta, Georgia. She said the guy who runs the Masters seems to be avoiding talking about Tiger while he's talking about how great everyone else is.
Howard took a call from Hanzi again but he wasn't there. They heard weird noises in the background so Howard figured it wasn't even him.
Robin read a story about a book that was written about Oprah by Kitty Kelly. Robin said there are people who turned down interviews with her so as not to offend Oprah. Howard said he'll have her on the show. He said that he can't imagine why people are so afraid of Oprah. Robin said there is a story about how Oprah had a relationship with John Tesh in the 70s. Howard said she should be proud of that. That led to Howard playing some edited clips of Oprah that Richard had spliced together. They had her talking about drinking Stedman's cum and things like that.
Robin read a story about a family that adopted a 7 year old kid from Russia and ended up sending him back with a note attached to him. Howard said he can see that. He said that you just don't adopt a 7 year old. He said you don't know how he was raised. Howard said the kid was raised in a Russian orphanage so who knows what went on. Howard said he thinks that Benjy was raised in a Russian orphanage.
Robin read a story about the Polish President dying in a plane crash. The crash also took out 95 others. Robin read the details of what they were doing and who died when the plane crashed. Robin said the plane model was known for having problems. She wasn't sure why they hadn't upgraded the fleet of planes they were in. Robin said that they had many government officials on the plane and one American was on the flight as well. Robin said the President and his wife were found in the wreckage.
Robin read a story about Spirit Airlines charging for carry on luggage. Robin said you pay for both checked and carry on luggage now. Howard asked if they charge for purses. Robin said they don't because it would fit under the seat. Robin said over the weekend Senator Chuck Schumer wants the loop hole closed in the laws that allow the airlines to do that. Robin had some audio of him talking about that.
Howard asked Robin if she was curious to sit on the Sybian at all. Robin said she has no interest in doing it. Howard said he doesn't believe she's telling the truth. Robin just laughed and started to read more news.
Robin said that there are people who say they see white light when they die and come back. Robin said that doctors say that near death experiences are just tricks being played on the mind by the lack of oxygen to the brain. Robin said they found that different levels of oxygen and carbon dioxide can cause these visions.
Robin said that Richard Dawkins and another man want the Pope arrested for covering up the sexual abuse cases that were going on with various priests. Robin said that they may sue him if they can't get him arrested.
Robin read a story about a priest in Massachusetts who wants the Pope to step down. She read the details of that story too. Robin had a couple of stories about the Pope and Fred kept playing the Dave Lampert Sybian ride clips while she was covering that stuff.
Robin read a story about a painting that was done by Hitler. She said that they're auctioning off some stuff that Hitler painted.
Robin said that in China they are now aborting baby girls instead of drowning them after they're born. Robin said that they're going to have a lot more men than women over there. Robin said they must not realize this.
Robin read about some coaches that have been banned for life from coaching swimming after abusing girls they're teaching. Robin said they had some video of these guys abusing the girls.
Robin read a story about a British mother who was saying goodbye to her son who was in a coma. They were going to pull the plug and when they unhooked him he woke up and started to speak weeks later. Robin said the guy is now fully awake and in a wheelchair. Robin said they have no explanation for what happened to him. Robin read that he was 17 when he was attacked and put into a coma.
Robin read some details about the ''Kick Ass'' movie and had some Nicolas Cage audio to play. Nick was rambling on about nonsense so Howard gave up on that clip. Robin had some audio of Tina Fey talking about her movie too. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:50am.
JD also talked about the hot chick on SNL that he wants to meet. He said he wants to meet Abbie Elliot at the after party but he's not sure if that's going to work out. Gary told JD to bring a date to the party. He said if he has a girl to bring he should bring her. Gary said that he should bring someone who can be pushed over with something impressive like that.
Gary wondered if they have to book Abbie on the show. He mentioned that they have Ashley Dupre coming in later this week. Jon asked JD if he would ask her to go to the party. JD said ''probably not.'' Jon said that he's finally learning.
Gary said that JD was in his office yelling that he has stopped wasting his time with Ashley when they were talking about that today.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Ryan should be throwing JD pussy. JD said he went to a club with Ryan and when Ryan introduced him to her she asked Ryan why he was introducing him to her. JD said he's not comfortable with people worrying about him. He said he has to worry about himself.
Gary wondered if Ryan could get JD laid. JD said he's not sure. He said it doesn't matter either. He said he's not interested in that anyway.
Jon and Gary asked JD if he's surprised he's friends with Ryan. JD said they're not like best friends. He said he's not as comfortable with him as he is with Gary and Jon. He said he does have his phone number though. He said he was texting him a few minutes ago. JD said it takes a while to warm up to people. He said everyone there should know that.
Another caller told JD that he has to stick with Ryan. His phone connection sucked so Jon hung up on him. Another guy told JD to get a better hair cut and get some contact lenses. He said that he has to develop a look like Howard did. JD said he's not that worried about his look. He said that he worries about it up to a point and that's it.
Jon brought up the Johnny Depp look that Howard was telling JD to go for. JD said he's not Johnny Depp and he's not going to try for that look. Jon thanked him for filling them in that he's not Johnny Depp.
Jon and Gary talked about the way Howard was telling Ryan how good looking he was. Gary said he looks at a guy like that and he thinks about how if he had that body for a weekend, he'd bring it back totally wrecked. Robin was also talking about how good looking the guy was.
Another caller chimed in on JD. He said that JD is missing the boat on this whole thing. He said he has 9 or 10 months left to do what he can to take advantage of this whole thing. JD said he's more worried about his career than chicks. Gary said he could worry about both. JD said that he worries about both and one more than the other. JD said he is talking to a girl here and there so not everyone knows who he's talking to. Jon asked if it's serious. JD said it's very new and not serious yet. JD said that it's not necessarily Facebook. JD said that it was email at first and now Facebook. JD said she doesn't want to be talked about so he's not going to get into it. Jon said that's great. He's happy for him.
Benjy came in late so he asked about what was going on. JD said he didn't want to talk about her just like Benjy doesn't want to talk about Detlev Bronk.
Gary said that this bothers him a very tiny bit but he's not that upset about it. Gary said that Ronnie does more for them than he could ever do. Ronnie will go to Rick's for a whole weekend. Ronnie was there on Thursday and Friday in Austin for the grand opening of the club. He stuck around Saturday for a while too.
Gary said that he loves that Doug and Mike Gange go down there for that kind of stuff. Doug had to leave on Saturday morning according to Ronnie. Ronnie said it was just Doug and Gange at the club. He said they had a lot of fans down there too.
Ronnie said that he was on the Dale Dudley show down there and they're huge fans of the show. He said that they told him the story about Howard being in town for a while too.
JD found it odd that only two Howard TV guys went to the event to cover it. Ronnie said that's all that they ever bring. He went off on JD for writing down that stuff for Jon to read. Benjy asked Ronnie if he gets to bang any chicks. Ronnie told him to shut up.
Jon asked Ronnie why Howard thinks that he got his new glasses after he got his. Ronnie said he had his glasses before Howard got his. He said that he didn't wear them to work much but he happened to wear them that week that Howard started wearing his new ones.
JD said if he talks about his glasses then Ronnie will brag about the cost of his compared to his. Ronnie and JD were arguing about
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what Ganges title is there. He's a supervising producer. Doug is an executive producer. The caller asked why they have to both go to the event to film it. Gary said they take advantage of the cool gigs. The caller also wondered why they do the same questions after the interviews and asked ''so how'd it go in there?'' He said they should ask other stuff instead of that same question. He said that no one is going to say it sucked. He thinks that Jon would rip it if it was on a network TV show. Jon said he doesn't mind it like the caller does.
Benjy said that the guy isn't against the interviews, it's just the question. Benjy wasn't familiar with it since he doesn't see much of the Howard TV stuff. Jon and Gary watch it though.
Gary asked the guy if he thinks that it was sloppy editing because Gange and Goodstein were away getting lap dances. The caller said that's what his point was and he thinks they should deliver a better product. Gary said that they should get some time off at some point. He said he's not sure what the connection is between what they did and the supposed ''sloppy editing.'' The caller just couldn't believe that Jon didn't agree with him. Jon said he just didn't think the same thing about what he was talking about. They had to let the guy go after that.
Jon got back to Ronnie and asked him about what he thinks about Gange going on that 40 mile bike ride. Ronnie said that Gange has to stop for something to eat like every 2 hours. He said he's never seen anything like it. He said that by Saturday night he could barely walk from eating so much with Gange.
Ronnie said they went for breakfast at 10:30 in the morning. He said they ate around 11 and by 3:30 he was ready for lunch and then by 6 he was ready for dinner. Jon said that maybe he needs the food for energy during the day.
Ronnie said they were out drinking and eating at this place for a few hours. He said they went back to the hotel and Gange said he wanted to do something else. He ran up to his room to pee. He said he waited for Gange to show up and Gange wasn't answering his phone. He said he was afraid something had happened to him. Ronnie said he finally answered the phone. He had fallen asleep in his room from all of the eating.
Gange was on the phone so he asked Ronnie what was going on. He said that he didn't eat that much. Gange said that he was out experiencing the ''Austin food scene'' while they were there. Gary said a lot of people would be checking out he music scene.
Jon asked Gange about why he and Doug make the trip down there. Gange said that Ronnie likes it when he goes. Ronnie told him not to blame him. Gange said he did want to go to Austin and this was a great opportunity to go down there. He said it was cool to check out the city and to check out Rick's while they were there. Gange said that Doug wanted to go there too.
Gange told a story about how they left Ronnie in the car to nap while they went out for a walk. Ronnie said that he was out until 4 in the morning the night before. He said he had to take a nap. He said that they were supposed to come with him to the radio show but they slept all morning. Ronnie said that he had no sleep so he had to rest. Gange said it was because he was an old man.
Ronnie said that it wasn't a big deal to rest in the car. Gary said after hearing all of this he's kind of glad he didn't go.
Jon asked Gange about the bike ride. Gange said he bike rides most weekend and he does 15-20 miles so it shouldn't be hard. He said it's not a race. He said that he's going to bring food with him and he will be making food stops. He said he's going to bring granola bars and stuff with him. Ronnie said he brings huge sandwiches with him on the plane. Gange said that he has to do that so he's not starving on the flight.
Doug came in so Jon asked him why he goes on these trips. Doug said that it was to see Austin. He said he wanted to visit the city so he was glad that he was able to go down there. He said that they shot a lot of content for the Bonus Show down there. Doug said that he didn't solicit any girls to get a lap dance down there but one girl did dance for him. He said he didn't pay for it though. He said that she wasn't even working. Ronnie said she was in civilian clothes too.
Jon asked Doug if he noticed Ronnie acing out Gary on these trips. Doug said that Ronnie gives it more bang for the buck. He said Gary just likes to go and hang out but Ronnie is in it for the long haul. Gary said he will stick around for a while but not all night.
Jon fond out that Ronnie has retired his ''lets fuck some whores'' line. Ronnie said they asked him to retire that. They must not want people thinking that the girls are ''whores.''
A caller brought up the Gange bike ride thing. Gange said that he's not going to be doing it in 2 hours. He said that it might be a 10 hour thing. Gange said it's going to be a slow going thing. He said he's just assuming the time. He said that he and Jared are going to do it. Doug said they're going to have a camera on the back of Jared's bike since they know that Benjy will be behind him. Gary said he might have to join in on that. They had to go to break after that.
That led to Jon bringing up Eric the Midget and how he has trouble with math. Gary said he thinks that Sal's math skills are better but he's not sure how Eric would do in geography and things like that. He said they should just give them both SAT tests. Jon said he thinks that Eric would kill Sal on the verbal and Sal would kill Eric on the math.
Gary said that Eric's other Achilles heel is being called stupid. He said Eric got mad at him when he said he could call him retard.
Jon moved on to talk about Donald Trump's call. They talked about how Trump and Howard talked about Rosie O'Donnell and things like that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's been a fan of Howard and Donald Trump for a long time now. He said that they're both the epitome of honest and they're great on the air together. The caller said that it's something special whenever he's on the air with Howard. He said that he's always been great as a guest.
The caller said he's looking forward to more Donald and more Howard. Gary said that Trump has been great on the show consistently. He said he always delivers. Gary said that Trump talked about dating being his own personal Vietnam one time and that got picked up in all of the papers. Jon said it was odd that Trump didn't go there when Howard asked about Elin being an 8 or 9.
A caller told the guys that they were wrong about their math. they were saying that 9x4 was 34. Gary said that's what Eric was saying it was. They were just talking about that.
Gary said that he knows that 9s are hard for kids so that's why they go there. Benjy said he knows some tricks to figure out the math with the 9 times tables. He tried to explain it but he wasn't explaining it right. Jon told Benjy a trick he had too and tired to teach him that one.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Trump used to be at the top of the list of worst landlords in the city. He said that he used to drive the residents out by doing really nasty things and he's really not a nice guy. The caller said that Trump is notorious for not paying his bills to smaller companies too. He said that the guy isn't as rich as he says he is. He said that he isn't worth 6 billion like he claimed. Benjy said that he didn't lose the case because of the facts. He said he lost because the guy wasn't intentionally slandering him.
The caller told Benjy to look up Trump on the Village Voice to see if he's as bad of a landlord as he's saying. Benjy said he'd look it up.
Ralph called in and asked if they got the 9 times table trick right. They weren't sure so Ralph gave them the details of this one trick that he uses. Jon liked his hand trick better.
Benjy tried to do another game that just went nowhere. Gary asked him to teach them more but Jon warned him where they were headed and stopped it before it happened.
Jon asked Ralph what he thought about Ryan on the show today. Ralph said that he was good. They spent a minute on that and then Jon asked Ralph how ''Paddy'' (his Apple iPad) is doing. Ralph said that she's having some Wi-Fi issues. He said that it's doing good other than that.
Jon let Ralph go and talked about Hanzi sleeping on the phone today. They spent a minute on that but they had to get the show over with soon. Jon took one last call from a woman who said they should test Eric for retardation. Gary said he doesn't think he's retarded. He said he's just not as smart as he thinks he is. The woman said they can test him to find out if he is smart or not though.
Gary said that Eric wants them to pay for his trip out there and he wants to do it on his own timetable. He said that they're not going to do it that way. They're not just going to have him out there so he can see Diana DeGarmo in Hair.
As they were ending the show Benjy mentioned that he never said that he was related to that guy Detlev Bronk that they said he had. Gary disagreed with him on that. He was sure he had.
Howard started the show talking about how annoyed he was with himself for not watching the John Gotti Jr. segment from 60 Minutes. He said Gary is going to send him an email reminder so he watches it today.
Howard said he missed Hulk Hogan last night on Howard 101. He said he ran around like a maniac yesterday and got some alone time around 6 and didn't tune in. He said he wanted to hear Hulk doing his thing.
Robin was running around so Howard asked what was going on. She was in the bathroom. Howard said there was some doody splattered all over the toilet yesterday. He said they have to take care of this right now. They think it might be Tim Sabean who did it. Howard said he's not sure why they're pinning it on him though. Gary said he gets the blame because of what he drinks. He said if you look in his refrigerator you'll see stuff he drinks that looks like it would splatter.
Howard asked Gary about the people who have access to the bathroom. They have 28 people on the list but only 22 are regular users. There are people on the list who are on ceremonially.
Gary read off the list of people who are on the list of bathroom users. Howard said he has to cut more people. Howard said they need the people in the studio to have access. They got into the TV people and Gary went through those people. Howard said he's not sure about the TV guys. He said that they might not be essential to be on the list.
Gary went through some more of the people like the security guys and people like JD. JD came in and said that he's paranoid about what he does in that bathroom and anywhere else in there.
Howard said he doesn't get who would leave shit on the toilet like that. Gary said they may not know because the person may not have lifted the seat. That's where the shit was, under the seat.
Howard said that maybe it was Gange because he seems like he's always sick. Howard said that Gange and Doug went down to Texas with Ronnie and he wants to get budgets for making cartoons and stuff. Gary said they were going to send someone to cover that no matter what. Howard asked why they have to cover another strip club opening. He said he wants some money for animation and things like that on Howard TV. He doesn't need Doug and Gange going down there.
Howard said he knows Doug wants to get out of the house away from the kids to see some strippers. He gets that. Gary said that Doug has always wanted to see Austin, Texas so that's why he went. Howard said it irritates him that the top people from Howard TV have to go down there. He said that would be like Mel Karmazin and Scott Greenstein going down there for something like that.
Gary said that Doug and Mike Gange are the top two people at Howard TV. Howard said it's creepy. Howard wanted to know what was going on and asked Scott DePace what they were doing. Brian Phelan told Howard that Scott is out in Las Vegas at the NAB convention looking for equipment to buy. Howard asked what the fuck was going on.
Howard said he was trying to figure out what they could spend on budget for Howard TV for the next 8 months and they had to turn down some stuff because of the budget. Howard said they somehow found money to go down to Texas with Ronnie. Howard said he doesn't get why Scott is in Vegas either. Howard was getting all pissed off asking about Scott and talking to Brian on the mic from the Howard TV studio.
Gary said that Doug doesn't get in until about 6:45 and Scott isn't there so they must be freaking out in there trying to figure out who is in charge. Howard asked who was directing. Brian said they have Serge directing today. Howard asked if he knows the right angles. He said he does.
Howard said he has some bad angles and he has to be shot from the right side only. He said that Erin Andrews has that going on too. He said she has a weird look if they don't shoot her from the right angle. He said you can see that on Dancing with the Stars. He said he's bailing out on that show now too. He's tired of it. He said he's still going to record it but only to see Pam Anderson and the hot chicks on the show.
Howard said that the guys could just get a pick up crew from Austin to go down to Rick's and tape Ronnie. They could save money on airfare and hotel stay if they did that. He said he needs the money for stuff he wants to do with the show. Howard said he had to sack a few projects because of that. He said he wanted to animate his parents for something and now he can't do it.
Howard asked how much it must cost to send those two down to Texas. Gary guessed it was $1,500 to $2,000. Howard said he really has to look into this. He said he doesn't even have anyone there to argue with this morning.
Howard asked Brian if it's a big joke back there when Doug has to go and he stops Chris Costa from going down. Brian said there is some snickering going on. Howard said they could just go to the Rick's there in New York instead of going all the way down there.
Animator Kevin Lofton, who used to do a lot of animation for Howard, called in and said that he gets the excuse that they don't have a budget to do the stuff Howard wants. Howard said that Doug tells him that they don't get the bang for the buck from the cartoons but they just don't have the money to do it. Kevin said he has tried to work with them on the money issue but it still doesn't work out.
Howard said he thinks that the 2 grand it cost them to send Doug and Gange to Texas could have been used for Kevin. Kevin said that he probably would have done it for less than that. Kevin said he's a fan of the show first.
Doug showed up so Howard asked why he has to be in Texas for Rick's. Doug said he has wanted to go to Austin for a long time. Doug said it's tough to go with the family. He said he was home all day Saturday and Sunday with the kids. He said he was down there for Thursday night and Friday. He said he asked Phelan if he wanted to go but he couldn't go. Doug said he asked Chris Costa if he wanted to go and that didn't work. Howard asked why they didn't just hire a crew. Doug said that would cost a lot.
Doug said they shot a bunch of stuff and they're going to use it for the Bonus Show. He said they have a lot of stuff to show down there.
Howard asked Doug why Scott is out there in Vegas. Doug said they're working on some stuff that will be used for the show. Howard said he doesn't believe he's going to see anything out there that important but Doug seems to think it is important.
Howard asked if Gange was put up down in Texas for the whole weekend. Doug said he was. Howard said he wants to see what it all costs. He said that no one is watching the store there. He said that Kevin said that he can do this stuff for $5,000. Doug said it might take him 2 months to do it and Howard may not like it. Howard said he'd rather have that being done.
Howard said he thinks this is very weird. He said that even Brian Phelan said it was a bit of a joke back there. Doug didn't believe that but Howard insisted he did.
Howard asked about Doug sleeping in on Friday morning. Ronnie came in to give Howard the details of that. They were out until like 4 in the morning according to Ronnie. Doug was saying they were all up in the morning but Ronnie said that Gange and Doug slept in while he went and did the radio show. Ronnie said they were calling him an old man while they slept in.
Howard said that covering Ronnie on the radio appearance was probably just as important as the Rick's opening. Doug said he didn't feel it was that important. Howard said this is all horse shit.
Ronnie said that he went to do the radio show that morning and when he got back they were texting him asking to go to breakfast. He said they finally got to breakfast around 11:30 in the morning. Howard asked what that fat fuck Gange was eating. They had breakfast tacos according to Ronnie. He said he had a big muffin type thing too. Howard said that Gange was looking for lunch just a few hours later. Doug said Gange is addicted to Starbucks.
Ronnie said they ate so much he was barely able to walk by Saturday night. Ronnie told another story about how he and Gange went out to eat. He said Doug was already gone. Ronnie said they went to a restaurant and had some chips and stuff. Then they had lunch. He said they went back to the hotel after eating and Gange said he didn't want to hang out in the room so Gange wanted to go out. He said Gange said he'd meet him down in the lobby in 15 minutes. An hour later he still didn't show up. Ronnie said Gange had fallen asleep in his chair when he sat down for two minutes. That's because he's so overweight.
Howard said Gange is going to bike 40 miles but he's going to die doing that. Doug said he'd be amazed at what Gange can do because he's got retard strength.
Howard had Kevin back on the phone because he had hung up on him accidentally. Howard said he goes over budgets with Doug and they had to pass on some stuff.
Howard asked if Gange gets his meals paid for down there. Doug said they do pay for them. Howard said ''wow...'' He went on to say that Gange ate his cartoon. He said that's who they can blame for his cartoon not being made. Doug said that's a completely different budget though. Howard said they passed on certain animations because of this trip. Doug said it's not as much as he thinks. Howard asked if he heard what Gange ate.
Kevin said they could have Gange bust through the end of the cartoon saying ''That's all Folks'' and eat the end of the cartoon. Howard said Gange is eating himself to death. He asked Ronnie about what he was eating down there. Gange said he had some kind of chicken taco or something. Howard said that must be all cheese.
Howard said this all makes him crazy. He told Doug that he could go to a strip club in the city and he'll pay for it himself. He said he doesn't have to travel to do it. Doug said he's wrong about that. Doug said he wanted to see the city too. He said he wanted to experience the night life but he wasn't able to do that. Howard told him to just get a pick up crew down there. Doug said it would be more expensive. He said it would be about $1,000 to $1,500 to hire a crew down there. Doug said he usually keeps the budget under budget.
Howard said maybe they should cut off the Bonus Show to get some of this stuff done. Doug also explained what was going on with Scott DePace out in Las Vegas. Howard said he hasn't seen any new equipment in there for years and he's not sure what's so important to see out in Vegas.
Ronnie said he and Gange went to Red Lobster one night down in Austin. Even Ronnie laughed at that. He said that was his idea. Robin said he could go to a Red Lobster anywhere in the country. Ronnie said they ate at a steak place one night too. He said the Red Lobster stuff was really good. He said they all had the combination plate. He said they didn't have desert any night. They were stuffed every time so they didn't have desert.
Ronnie said they were going to stop for ice cream at one point but he wasn't able to eat anymore. Ronnie said that they went for a walk one night on 6th Street which is like New Orleans in a way. He said he was barely able to walk because he was so full. Doug said Ronnie has that roll on his stomach now.
Howard said he saw that DePace had purchased a tracking camera out in Vegas 3 years ago and that was it. Doug said you research stuff out there. He said you don't just buy it all out there. Doug said they have debuts of stuff out there and that's why he's out there.
Howard told Kevin that they just can't afford to do this animation. Doug said there's more to the story than Howard is letting on. Howard said that he's being honest. He said they let Kevin do stuff on spec and sometimes the stuff isn't worth putting on. He said that he'd rather have him working for them than this other stuff. Doug said there is another piece of the puzzle being left out. Howard said he's not leaving anything out. Doug said he is leaving out one thing. Howard said Kevin knows that they don't always work out.
Howard said that Kevin is great at what he does. He said he'd rather have him take a shitty attempt than send Scott DePace out to Vegas. Doug said they can do that. He said that they can have Kevin do some small things. Howard said that will take away from the budget then. Doug said they can swing it.
Howard let Kevin go and said he loves that guy. He said it wasn't looking very promising. Howard took a call from a guy who said Doug was basically making Howard choose between Ronnie and 2 minutes of his parents animated. He said that they'd rather see the animation. The caller said that Ronnie does the same exact thing at those openings anyway.
Howard asked Doug what it costs to send DePace out to Vegas. Doug joked they sent him first class. Howard almost lost his mind when he heard that. Doug said he was just kidding. Howard said he wants to see what they're spending on that stuff. Doug said that he thinks that it's probably $1,100 to send him out there. Howard said he wants to see the spreadsheet on that to see exactly what they're spending. Doug said they're not going to announce that stuff on the air.
Howard asked Doug where else he'd like to go so he can arrange a Rick's opening for him. He asked Doug if he wanted to go to Australia and Alaska. Doug said he's been to Alaska so he doesn't need to go there.
Ronnie told Howard that Gange had to get a sandwich from a deli in the airport for the flight. He said he had to pack that in his knapsack for the flight. He freaks out if he doesn't have food on the flight. Ronnie didn't see if he ate the sandwich. Doug said he ate it before they got on the plane. Doug said he only did that because he had sat down to eat before the flight too.
Gary told Howard that Gange always buys a sandwich for the flight because of delays. He said that he can't be without food. Howard asked what his weight is at now. They figured it was like 245 and he's like 5'9'' tall.
Gary was saying that Gange doesn't think that the 40 mile bike ride is going to be that hard. Howard said he used to ride a bike and he knows how hard it is. Howard said if Gange doesn't have a heart attack then he's going to be sick for a week after. Howard heard that Gange buys Skittles for his bike ride. He said he's a loser. Gary said he heard that he packs food for wherever he goes.
The caller said that Gange is always wondering why Howard hates him. Howard said he has reason to with all of this stuff.
The caller said that they have to cut out the Ronnie trips and stop paying for that. Ronnie said they don't pay for the trips. Ronnie said that Rick's pays for his trip, not Howard TV.
Howard said he would never leave his family if things are as great as Doug claims. Doug said his wife told him to go. Doug said she told him he should go if he wanted to go. Doug said things are great at home and he loves spending time with his family. Howard said if it was that great he wouldn't have gone.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that any company would cut a trip like Scott DePace's trip. Doug said they have something in development that he'll tell Howard about off the air. Howard said he doesn't want to hear it. Howard said he can't imagine what they're going to need. Doug said they do have something in the works. Robin figured it was something in 3D. Doug said that it may be something like that.
Howard said he bets that DePace is down at the tables right now and not looking at equipment. Doug said Scott is a total geek about the equipment and he's sure that he's looking at the products. Howard said he can imagine the people yelling out ''Monkey!'' at the tables now. He said he can hear DePace yelling that out too.
Howard said that Ronnie told him everything that was going on down there. He said he knows Doug has good intentions but they don't need to shoot this stuff all the time.
Howard thanked the guys for their updates. Ronnie said that the new Rick's in Austin is fantastic. Howard said he heard all of the stories and he was done. He said thanks again and let them go.
Howard asked how they're going to take care of this. Gary said someone made an allegation that Ryan Phillippe was in there and maybe that's who did it. Gary said they can find out who was in there from 6am to 9am and figure it out. Gary said he could check between midnight and 9am and that should narrow it down. Howard said that's good then.
Gary said he'll bring Howard that list tomorrow. Howard said he'll see who he can eliminate then. Howard said that's it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the reason they're going under the seat is because they're not sitting on the toilet. He said that he's been cleaning toilets for years and these people aren't sitting down, they're squatting above the toilet and that's why it splatters that way.
Howard said that Sal has said that he hovers over the seat. He said it could be Sal that did this. Howard said he bets that Sal was in there yesterday. Sal came in and said he doesn't hover. He said he makes a little bed for his penis out of toilet paper and rests his penis on that.
Howard said he bets that Sal is on the list before 9am. Howard said he still thinks it's Sal. Sal said there is a guy there who has a reputation for taking massive shits. He was referring to Brian Phelan but Brian doesn't have access to that bathroom.
Brian told Howard he still has access to the toilet. Howard thought he was off. Gary was supposed to take him off the list. Gary said Brian said he wasn't going to use it anymore but he's still on the list.
Richard came in and said that he has to stick up for Sal. He said that they shit at the same time out in the main bathroom. Howard heard that and said that if they weren't so talented he'd fire them right now. He was grossed out by that.
Howard said they got a copy of the letter that Cousin Brucie got from William Patterson University where they wanted to give him some award. Howard said that guy gets every award. Howard said that he'd be paranoid if he were Brucie because they used to do stuff like that for guys who had one foot in the grave. Howard said Brucie should be looking over his shoulder for the grim reaper.
Howard read more of the letter and said they were telling Brucie that they only give this to one person who is very influential in radio and things like that. Howard said that it sounds more like they should be giving him the award, not Brucie.
Howard said they gave this same award to Les Paul last year and Les Paul died not too long after. Howard said some day they'll be doing the same thing for him when he's retired. He said they'll be giving him awards when he's about to die too.
Howard did some of his Cousin Brucie impression and said he likes the guy. Howard said he wants some awards too. Gary said Howard deserves something bigger than that award though. Howard said Brucie had a great job in radio. He just had to mumble a couple of lines and announce a song. Howard said he should get an award.
Howard told Sal to go take a shit with Richard now. He said that's just vile.
Howard saw that Tila Tequila is going to be coming in today. He said he thinks she's kind of hot. He said they might have to put her on the Sybian to help her get the poison out. They played some Dave Lampert Sybian clips and then went to break.
Howard came back and started to sing along with the song. He turned on his Autotune so he could be in tune. Howard spent a minute on that and then sang some Cher music.
Howard said he has a clip he wanted to play that was mind blowing. He said that Tila Tequila is there too so he has to get to her. Howard said Tila is Benjy's kind of girl. Benjy asked if Howard noticed that she was Asian. Howard said he doesn't know anything about her. Benjy said her blonde hair fooled him. Howard said maybe he'll be able to bang her.
Howard said the other day he was going through his answering machine and heard a message from Andy Dick. Howard said Andy has had his troubles with drugs and all of that. Howard said he hasn't had Andy on the show in a while and he left him a message saying he wanted to be invited on the show. Howard said he found that kind of strange. He said he wanted to call him back and tell him to come in anytime. He said they don't solicit people to come on the show.
Howard said Gary gave him a piece of tape where a woman called 9-1-1 and said that some lunatic had entered her house. It turns out it was Andy Dick. He said that Andy was wandering around a neighborhood and thought it was his son's home or something.
Howard played the audio of the 9-1-1 call and this woman is complaining that there's an intruder in her house. She said he just walked in and he wasn't trying to hurt them or anything. The husband brought him outside and it appeared he was on something. The woman said she could hear the man shouting and he had just walked right into her house. She said the guy was wasted and he was completely loony. The woman said that the man thought his son lived there. She said the man was white and looked like he was a rich white man. He had glasses on and was wearing slacks. Then she says that the man was walking to another house.
Howard said he felt bad because no one recognized Andy. He got back to the clip and the woman was giving more details about what was going on before the operator said that the police would be there soon. Howard said there's nothing worse than not being recognized.
Lisa moved on to her news preview and mentioned that Mike Gange is doing that bike ride. Howard said he told Doug off the air that he should tell Gange to go to a doctor before going on that ride. Lisa said that Jared went out riding with Gange and he was ''dead'' after riding a few miles.
Lisa said that they're going to put a camera on the back of Jared's bike so they can look at Gange riding behind him. Howard said they should put it on Gange's bike because he won't be able to keep up with Jared.
Lisa said that Jason Kaplan has been riding a bike lately too and they're going to go out for a ride with some of the guys on the show.
Lisa said that Ronnie is going to be going out on tour for some strip club openings. She wrapped up and Howard had to take another break before getting to Tila Tequila.
Howard came back and had Tila Tequila come in. Howard said she was wearing something pretty hot. He said she's got some little bod on her. She said she did it just for Howard. She hadn't even slept yet. Howard told her to sit down. Tila said she was ready to ''release the poison'' today. Howard asked if she was ever a stripper. She said she was.
Howard said Tila's outfit was see through and he could see her thong and bra through it. She said she was going to go nude under it but she thinks it would have caused accidents. She said that this one caused some commotion when she was on her way there. She said one guy got into a car accident as he was trying to holler at her. She said that he crashed into some old lady's car.
Howard asked how tall Tila is. She's 4'11'' tall. Howard asked what her background is. She said she's Vietnamese and French. Howard asked if she had some black in her too. She said she might.
Howard asked if she was a bad kid. She said she was kind of out of control. She said she was good in school though. Tila said that her teacher was a coach and her history teacher. She said she knew he had a crush on her. She said that she was thinking about getting a job as a stripper and told him about that. He told her she was breaking his heart.
Tila said she started to waitress at a strip club when she was just 17. Howard asked if she banged all of the dudes in school. She said she didn't. Tila said she may have come on too strong. She came on really strong with people. She had her first lesbian experience when she was just 8 years old. She said they would always hide in a closet and touch each other down there. Tila said she didn't even know what it was at the time. Tila said that they kept touching and rubbing and started playing together.
Tila said one day they went to her room and she asked the other girl if she felt something weird down there when she saw people kissing on TV and stuff. Tila said she and the other girl went into the bathroom and did some lesbian role playing stuff. She said she had the other girl come in and catch her naked in the bathroom and then spank her with a comb.
Tila said she had her first orgasm at 5 years old. She said that she was half asleep as her older sister was getting ready for school. Tila said she felt this rush down there and wondered what had happened. She said she remembers how amazing it was. She said she started thinking about the guys and girls that were outside again. She said she started touching it around that age and her mother used to catch her doing that. She said her mom would beat her ass whenever she got caught.
Howard asked Tila if she's into rough sex. Tila said she's the type of girl who can fuck you but make love at the same time. She said that's why people fall for her so fast.
Howard asked how she got on TV with her show ''A Shot at Love.'' Tila said they have 16 girls and 16 boys on the show. She said she's been asked if the show is real and she says that she's very real with anyone she's with. Howard asked if she's more bi-sexual than hetero. Tila was actually engaged to a woman. She said she came out after they got engaged. Howard said he's with her and he's into women more than men too.
Howard asked Tila how dirty she gets in bed. Tila said she makes people fall in love with her. She said that she makes people fall in love with her. She said that she can fuck a person and make love at the same time. Howard said he heard that already but wanted to know what that means. Tila said she's very seductive and she talks to people in a way that makes people get lost in her moves. Howard said he can see what she's doing now.
Howard said he was getting a bit of a bone as Tila was talking to him in her sexy voice. Tila kept saying that she can make Howard fall for her in bed too. She kept saying she can fuck and make love at the same time.
Howard asked Tila if she does ass to mouth. She said she hasn't done that. She said she will put her tongue up a woman's ass though. Tila said she's been with some of the real hard core lesbians out there and she's able to get them off without using any toys or anything.
Howard said that Tila's name is pretty catchy. He asked how she came up with the name. She said when she was in 8th grade she was a bad girl. She went to juvenile hall and went to jail twice. She said she had 6 near death experiences from drugs, car accidents, fights and more. She said she fought a guy one time. She said she got 6 months in juvenile hall and he only got 3 months. Tila said that the guy's hand got broken and she walked out and everyone was chanting her name.
Howard said he would assume that being only 4'11'' would make her easy to beat. She told him not to let her size fool him. She said she would slit his throat. Tila went on to say that she couldn't handle drinking tequila so that's how she got her name.
Howard asked how jail was and if she was a prison bitch. Tila said she had someone taking care of her. She said they had a main queen in jail and they had some gang members in there too. Howard asked if she hated her patens. She said her dad punched her in the head the second time she went to jail. She said she has cut them off for a while.
Tila said she has been on her own since she was 11. She said she ran away from home at 16 and she would go to a club in the afternoon and pop E with her friend. She said she was a Tomboy back then and she was staying with her homie Willie. She said that he was just a friend and she was always a Tomboy so he didn't want her that way. Howard said he wouldn't put up with her if she wasn't putting out.
Howard asked how she became a reality TV star. Tila said that she was in Playboy as a Cybergirl. Howard wasn't sure what that meant. She said that they do that for their online thing for Playboy. Tila said she stated her own web site where people had to be members. She was topless on that but that was about it for nudity. Howard asked her if that was true that she didn't have to take off her bottoms. She said she had live chats with her members and she would shave her legs and things like that. Tila said she would talk to them live and get topless on that. Howard said the guys must have been jerking off to that.
Howard asked Tila if that paid enough to support her. She said that she went to college on that money and she was able to support herself.
Tila said she was on Friendster and her profile kept getting deleted. She said that she would create new ones and they would get deleted too. Then she got on Myspace after they asked her to come there. She said she went on there and blasted out her friends telling them about the move to Myspace. She said she kind of helped them blow up. Tila said she became the Myspace girl and started getting magazine covers and stuff. Then MTV picked up on that and gave her a TV show.
Howard asked why Tila is fighting with Perez Hilton. She said that she's starting her own gossip site and she can make Perez cry like a bitch. Tila said that he can dish it out but he can't take it. Tila said that Perez was talking shit about her and calling her a whore and stuff. She said that she dished out some stuff to him and he got all upset. Howard said it all sounds kind of childish to him.
Tila said that Perez isn't even blogging anymore. She said that it's his sister that's doing that stuff. She said his site is getting stale now anyway. Howard gave Tila some plugs for her new site TilaTequilaOMG.com.
Howard asked Tila about dating this football player. She said she can't talk about him. She said that they settled in a lawsuit so she can't talk about it. She said that she can't say what it was about but it was about a domestic abuse case. Howard said she must have gotten some dough if she won't talk about it. She said she wasn't in a relationship with that guy. It was a one time thing but she can't talk about that.
Howard asked Tila if she was pregnant because someone posted that she was on her Twitter. She said she lost the baby. She said she didn't want to get into that either. She said that people are disrespectful so she'd prefer not to talk about it.
Howard asked Tila why she needs a kid. Tila said she was devastated and she got artificially inseminated. Howard said this was after the death of her finance. Tila said she made a promise to her when she was alive that she would be the pregnant one. Tila said she was going to get married and she was going to have the baby. Howard said the devastation after the death of her fiance, Casey Johnson, led her to get pregnant. Tila said the world was blaming her for the death and she doesn't get that. Howard said maybe they thought she was an enabler. Tila said that her childhood friends were never around for her.
Tila said that she'd ask Casey what her medications were and they would get into fights over it. She said that Casey was a train wreck when they first met. She said that she was able to get really sensual with her and she thought she was healing her with her love. Tila said she was her foundation for love and she started to straighten out. Then she stopped taking the pills. She said one night they stayed up fighting all night about her. Tila said when she's working she has to have some ''I miss you time'' and she has to leave her alone. Tila said that Casey would drink bottles of Nyquil to try and calm down. Tila told her that she would never leave her but that was her paranoia. Tila said she told Casey that she wasn't going to leave her and she had to stop thinking she was using her.
Howard said it sounds like she was a good influence on her. Tila said they thought that she was the bad influence and they came into her house and took all of Casey's stuff. Tila said they were all calling her the night before they came to take the stuff and pretended they were upset. She said that they were telling her they wanted to come in and find out what Casey was like near the end. Tila said they came and there was poop and piss all over the place. She said she could hear them talking on their phones saying they wanted to leave the dogs there. Tila told them that was fine and they took her shoes instead of the dogs or anything else. They were more interested in that stuff than how she was doing or how the dogs were doing.
Howard asked Tila if she was hurt that she wasn't allowed at the funeral. She said she was heart broken over that. She said that Casey told her about her family life and what that was like and they weren't that close. Tila said they must have had a lot of guilt with her. Tila said they cut her off from money and they must have felt that pain and guilt. Tila said they took it all out on her.
Howard said that a parent has to have tough love at times. Tila said that wasn't the reason why. She said that Casey told her why they did it and it wasn't about drugs or anything. Howard asked what it was about. Tila told a convoluted story about an adoption and how this whole thing went down with Casey and her parents. It wasn't easy to follow.
Howard said he thought that the family wasn't happy with her drug use and stuff. Tila said that's not what it was about. She said that when you have a kid in your life you have to be able to support and raise them. If you take away that money and love then the person is going to start to rebel. She said all Casey wanted was love.
Howard said Tila only knew Casey for a month before getting engaged. Tila said they had very intimate stories they would share together. They got close very fast.
Howard asked why Tila let her family and friends take everything from her home. She said she was confused and devastated and they lied to her. She said they were saying they were going to come over and help her out and they showed up like 6 hours early. Tila said they were violent and they were demanding this stuff from her so it was all shocking and confusing to her. She said that she even helped them bring the stuff out to their vehicles. She said that even the Paparazzi were asking her why she was doing that.
Howard asked who showed up to take the stuff. She said it was Nikki Hilton and Bijou Phillips. Howard asked where her stuff is now. Tila said they took the dog and she thinks that they had it put to sleep and buried with Casey. Howard said he thought that they were animal activists and they wouldn't do something like that. Tila said she's not sure that happened but she assumes it did.
Tila told Howard that she was depressed for a long time and she wasn't able to sleep. Then she had some dreams about Casey and she came to her in the dreams (while she was sleeping, right?) and she was very sad. Tila said in the third dream Casey came into her dream and held the baby. She said Casey told her she loves her and told her to take care of the baby. Tila said she talked to Casey about this in the dream and Casey told her that she'd always be over her watching. She said she held the baby in the dream and that's why she went out and got pregnant.
Tila told Howard that she was pregnant for just a short time before she lost the baby. Tila said that she figured God did that for a reason and she had the dreams for a reason. Tila said in the fourth dream she saw that Casey had passed on and she was told to ''make a wish'' as a shooting star shot by.
Howard asked Tila if she's with a girl or a guy now. Tila said that guys are so retarded. Tila said she met a guy a couple of weeks ago and this guy gave her the sausage. She said he came along and it turns out to be this K-Fed kind of guy who wanted to marry her. She said that it was a little soon for that. Tila said that she found out that he was cheating on her with like 4 other women. She said that she got all freaked out on a flight and she went off on this guy.
Howard said that Gary has an article about Casey's dogs and they say that they're alive and well. Tila said she wants to see video of them. Gary came in and said that they say that Zoe and Elvis are alive and doing well. Tila said that was old news and she doesn't believe that they're alive. She said she wants to see video of the dogs now. Tila said they told her that the dogs are no longer around. Gary said that trouble really follows her around. Tila said that she's a good person though. Gary said that she claims she is but this trouble follows her around.
Tila said that she is nice but she has a short temper and she will stand firm behind her beliefs. She said maybe that's why it seems that trouble follows her around. Tila said she has a big heart.
Tila said this guy she was seeing had a really small penis. She said that she thought it was his finger when he was fucking her. She said as a person she wanted to help him because he didn't have a place to stay. She let him stay at her place. Howard said his penis is so small he aspires to have a finger down there.
Howard said Tila put out a song years ago called ''I Like to Fuck.'' Tila said she was part of that. She also has a new single coming out today. Howard played some of the ''I Like to Fuck'' song. Howard asked how she gets air play with that. Tila said that song was just for fun. She has a new song called ''I Love My DJ.'' She said it was originally called ''I Fuck My DJ.'' That was actually the version Howard played. Howard said that her album will be out on May 11th.
Howard gave Tila some plugs for her web site TilasHotspot.com and some other things. Tila is working on a new show but she can't talk about the details yet.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said that Tila is a crazy cunt. Tila told him he sounded like he had a lot of semen in his throat. Another caller said that this is one of the best interviews he's ever done because she answers every question so clearly and said that they should end it now so they can save the rest for later. He was being sarcastic but Tila thought that it was a compliment.
Howard took another call from an angry guy who was going off on Tila about how awful she is and how much he hates her. Tila thought that he was someone who had dated Casey at some point.
Another caller told Howard to get this crazy bitch on the Sybian. Howard asked if she knew what that was. She said she had heard about it. Tila said that these angry guys are all guys with small dicks. She said they're intimidated by her. Robin said they wouldn't be attacking her if they were there.
Howard gave Tila some more plugs, wrapped up with her a short time later and went to break.
Howard came back and said that so many guys are calling in and saying they're glad he ended the interview with Tila. Howard said he thought it was interesting. He said he wasn't sure what was real or not but it was interesting to him. He said he didn't know much about her before. He never saw her TV show or anything. He said her outfit was hot and very sexy.
Howard asked Benjy if he got her number. Benjy said she blinked her number to him and he blinked it back. Howard said he was sorry he asked. He said he just had to make a joke about it. Benjy said he did go out and talk to her. He said that the same people that hate her hate him. He said he's not so sure why people hate her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he'd rather watch grass grow. Another caller said that he had four dreams during that interview and in all of them he blew his brains out. He told Howard it was a horrible interview.
Anther caller said Howard did a great job but that chick was putting him to sleep. Howard said that's what most people are saying. He said he's getting a very negative reaction to her.
Howard said he's sorry they let the fans down. He took another call from a guy who said he loves Howard but this was an awful interview. He asked them not to put it on Best of the Week.
Howard offered the caller a game to play. Howard had the High Pitch Eric game to play and it wasn't that easy to win. Robin said that they've had some fans stumped by the game. Howard said he had to guess if High Pitch would get the answer correct.
Howard tried to start the game but it was set up wrong. Howard talked about the interview and how he thought it was fine but he'll take the listener's word for it.
Howard got the game straightened out and played the first question which was ''Who invented the telephone?'' The caller, Obie, knew the answer and said that Eric wouldn't know it. Howard locked Obie in on a no. Eric said it was Benjamin Franklin. He was wrong.
Howard moved on to question two which was ''What is Obama's middle name?'' Howard asked Obie if he thinks Eric will know the answer. Obie said there was no way he'd know. Eric said ''Bin.'' He was wrong.
The third question was ''How many sides are on an octagon?'' Obie knew the right answer and he thinks that Eric will know it too. Eric said ''Five.'' He got it wrong, Obie missed one.
The fourth question was ''What do the stars on the flag represent?'' Obie said that Eric would have to know that one. He said he should get it right. Eric said ''The 50 states of the United States.'' Obie won $711 from 7-Eleven with his correct guess.
Howard put Obie on hold and played another one which was ''What is the official currency for Puerto Rico?'' Eric said ''San Juan.''
Howard played another one which was ''What is the name of our Vice President?'' Eric said ''Joe Biden.'' Gary asked Howard to save the rest for a game tomorrow. Howard stopped after that.
Howard said Gary is mad at him for not picking up his call. Gary said that's because he's in Oregon. Howard said he loves when he calls in but he can't always get to the phone. Gary didn't say anything. Howard told him he has things to do on the show and he can't pick up on him every day.
Baba Booey came in and told Gary that they're actually having him in to do a judging thing soon. He wanted to come in for his birthday but they weren't able to get him in for that. Howard said they have a gay man lined up for Gary. Gary said he doesn't want a gay man.
Howard said he just anted to let Gary know that they'll have him in when they can. Booey said that Gary has been hanging up on them when they call him to play a game over the phone. He said he's so mad at them that he hangs up on them.
Howard said they'll have Gary in soon. Gary said ''Soon huh?'' Booey told Gary not to get upset if they don't call him today. He said they will get in touch with him soon to have him come in. Gary asked if Miss Howard Stern will come in too. Gary said he wants her in there. Booey said she's still not ready to come back to the show.
Gary said he's been working and cleaning up a parking lot and picking up garbage. Howard asked if he's seeing anyone. He said he's not. Howard asked if he's jerking off a lot. Gary said he's not. He asked Howard if he is. Howard said he does it all the time. Gary said it's not right to do that. Howard said he doesn't believe he's not doing it.
Howard asked Gary if he was ever punished for jerking off. Gary said he wasn't. Howard said something must have happened with him. He asked why it was bad to masturbate. Gary said he didn't know it was bad. Howard told him they'll call him soon and let him go. He said he can't wait to have him in and ask him what he likes watching on TV. Howard said Gary calls the back office a lot and he has to deal with Gary (Booey) back there all the time.
Howard played the audio and said he doesn't know how Yucko gets away with what he says to people. He was insulting everyone in the clip. Howard said he says shit to their face. Robin said he is in a clown costume. It's not a guy saying it, it's a clown.
Howard said they got some email about the show yesterday. He said that one guy liked Ryan Phillippe as a guest on the show. The guy was a 35 year old dude and he liked him as a guest. He said he shouldn't even care about a guy like that but he loved the interview.
Howard said that the email was great yesterday and it made him want to keep working for a minute. Howard said even Hanzi got some positive feedback. The fans loved hearing him snore. Some people didn't like the snoring and wanted them to stop.
Howard read an email about last Thursday's show and how great that was. The writer talked about David Arquette being great on the show. They also liked Martina Navratilova on the show.
Howard said David was good on the show and you don't know until you have the person in. Howard said they gave it a shot with Tila Tequila today.
Howard said someone asked what the song is that Fred plays during the Indian discussions. Howard said that it's called ''Sucker, Sucker, Sucker by Ali Hassan.''
Howard said they also found out that their customer service at SIRIUS isn't based in India, it's actually in Jamaica. He said they're good down there because Sal and Richard tried canceling their service and the guy that helped them was really good. Howard played the audio of the call that Sal and Richard made. The customer service guy said he thinks that Howard is going to be staying. He said that they should keep their subs until they have the official word about Howard staying or leaving. Howard said he likes that they're hooked up with Jamaica for their customer service.
Howard read some email about Eric the Midget and some of the fans get upset with him having him on. Howard said Gary told him he was listening to the show and thought Eric was funny though. Howard said some people don't want Donald Trump on the show. They don't care what he's doing with his money.
Howard said Ass Napkin Ed called into Hulk's show. Ed asked Hulk if he could comment on the Chris Kanyon death. Hulk didn't know much about it. Ed also asked about a rumor going around about Hulk having gay sex with Mr. T. Hulk played along with it and said it was true.
Howard had some more audio of Hulk. He played a clip of him giving his respect to Howard Stern and Bubba the Love Sponge. Hulk said that Howard helped him give him his form for his radio show. Howard said the fans liked his repartee.
Howard said Hulk did some of that wrestling voice of his at the start of the show. Howard played some of that. Howard said he's not sure how you do that at any time of the day. He said he does that Cousin Brucie voice and it wears him out. He said he was dizzy after doing that for like 10 seconds.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about Bob Levy and the fact that he threw the fight with Danny Bonaduce. Howard said he knows what he's talking about and that was about the boxing match he did with Danny and the guy who promoted it was being accused of fixing fights. Howard wasn't sure if Bob had admitted that he had his fight fixed. Howard said this is all alleged so he's not sure what's going on. Howard said he hasn't spoken to Bob about it so he doesn't know.
Howard said he was surprised that Bob did fight Danny who had trained his whole life to fight. Howard said that Danny will take a beating and he seems to love the pain. Howard said he might be kind of suicidal too. Howard said that to fight Danny is not a smart thing. Howard said if it was fixed then it would make sense to him. Robin said that Danny would have killed Bob if they had fought. Howard said it looked like Bob got hit and he went down to him.
Captain Janks called in and said someone called Hulk's show and said something horrible about Eric the Midget. Howard asked if it was Janks. Janks said ''probably.'' Howard had that clip so he played that one. In the clip Janks was asking Hulk about being blacklisted from a movie or something like that. Then he said that Eric the Midget sucks dick. Hulk went on to talk about being black listed. He said that this big Hollywood producer fell in love with him and asked him to do some stuff to him. Hulk said he told the guy that wasn't his deal and he wasn't going to go down that road. He said that was it for him.
Janks said he'd pay green money to find out who that guy was. Robin said that Janks doesn't have any green money to do that with though.
Howard said that Conan is going to TBS to do a late night show. Howard said the story is great. He said that he's going to be on at 11pm. Right now George Lopez has that slot and Conan wasn't going to take that slot until Lopez called Conan and told him it was great for him to take that slot. Conan has made a deal with TBS to do a 4 night a week show for TBS. Howard said this is the kiss of death for Conan. Howard said when you're on NBC you're a factor. He said that what's sad is that Conan was sabotaged. He said he told Conan to stay at 12:30. He said Conan had to have that Tonight Show slot though. Then NBC fucked him up the ass and gave Jay his show back. Howard said that NBC really fucked the guy. He said that they're talking about what a shit head Conan was and they couldn't have orchestrated the end of a career better than that.
Howard said that FOX was afraid to hire Conan just to get a 2 share. Howard said they have The Simpson's and other shows running at that time that make a fortune. Howard said George Lopez made the right move by having Conan take his slot. He said George gets it. He said that he's probably extended his show for another 2 or 3 years.
Howard said Conan got a crazy pay out from NBC so he'll have a nice time doing his 4 day a week show. He said to put himself on the map he should be doing 5 days. Howard said he really should be on Monday to Friday. Howard said maybe he'll shoot two shows on Thursday or something. He really doesn't know.
Howard said Jay Leno is right back up there in the ratings and beating Dave again. Howard said no one seems to care that NBC fucked Conan or that Dave was doing well. He said that people have left Dave again. He said that America doesn't care about loyalty. He said that's just the business.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he liked Tila on the show today. He said he even has a small penis and he still loved it. He was asking if he could win a date with her. Howard said she was very fun in there after the interview. He said that she was taking pictures and had her ass in the air for Jason to shoot. He told Jason to get those pictures up on his web site.
Howard said he hopes that Conan does okay with his new show. He took some more calls and one guy said that Howard, Robin and Fred should start their own American Idol and take it over when Simon leaves. Howard thanked him for the call.
Steve said that Kidd Chris got a visit from the Secret Service after he did a bit about counterfeiting money. Steve said they just spoke to them since Kidd didn't do anything with the money himself.
Howard said he had Vinnie Favale (HereAfterMusical.com) from CBS on the phone. Vinnie said he wanted to clear up some stuff about Letterman and Leno. He said that Jay is down by 20 percent compared to last year. He said Dave is up 4 percent but Jay is winning right now. He said that Jay is damaged. Vinnie said that Conan had a whole new audience when he was on and it wasn't the usual audience. He said they got some of his audience but some have disappeared. Vinnie said they're doing better than they were last year.
Howard said that Nightline is beating them both. Vinnie said they talked about that last year and it's just a half hour show. He said he has the numbers that show it's not beating them.
Howard asked if the move to TBS is going to make Conan irrelevant. Vinnie said it's good for comedy but he won't hurt Letterman or Leno. Robin said some people say it's a shrewd deal for Conan.
Steve said they have an update about the Chuck Zito story they talked about yesterday and Chuck says he never needed a gun when he was a body guard for this woman he talked about yesterday.
Steve said that Kevin Eubanks is leaving the Tonight Show and it's rumored that Max Weinberg may join the Tonight Show.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. He ran down his list of subjects for today's show.
Robin started off with a story about Steven Seagal getting into some legal trouble. They claim that he was keeping her locked up as a sex slave. Howard said that dude always has something wacky going on. Robin read the details of the report and they claim he had been keeping two Russian attendants in his home and they were there mainly for sex according to this third woman. Howard said if 10 percent of this is true the story is great. Howard said that story was pretty wild but he's not sure that even Steven could pull off what they claim he did.
Robin read a story about Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy's break up and some of the stuff Jim has been saying on his Twitter account. Robin read some of his quotes and they're kind of wacky. He claims it's not a breakdown but it's a break through. Howard said he hopes the guy is alright. Robin said that Jenny may have abandoned a sinking ship.
Robin said that Ashley Dupre is going to be in the pages of Playboy. Her spread is coming out laster this month. Howard did his JD impression saying ''Whatever... I don't care...'' He and Fred both got into that. That led to JD coming in and talking about how weird things got out at Ryan's house the night he and Ashley went there. He said that he knew he was playing with the chopsticks too much when one of Ryan's friends said ''Man, you're really into those chopsticks.''
Howard asked JD if he saw the Playboy picture of Ashley that they put out. He said it looked like it was airbrushed a lot. They were talking to JD about what he did with the chopsticks for an hour and a half. JD said he was trying to figure out how to use them. He still can't do it even after that hour and a half of practice.
Howard asked if Ryan talked to JD at all. JD said he did go back and forth between him and the girls. He said that he felt like a creep. He wondered if he really was ''that guy'' who does that creepy stuff. Robin said he was. JD said he knows he was.
Robin asked JD why he didn't bring up some topics to talk about. JD said that never works for him. Howard said he could have danced. He asked JD if he can dance to the techno music that Fred had playing. JD did dance to it and Howard seemed impressed.
JD said the music playing at Ryan's place wasn't that fast. He said it was pretty mellow. Howard said he could have gone to the girls and said something. Howard told JD to pretend he's a hot chick and ask some questions. JD asked him what his favorite movies were and things like that. Howard told him to stick to the chopsticks. JD was ready to leave but Howard told him he's not done with him yet. He wants to goof on him some more.
Howard said he's given JD some advice for what to do when he doesn't have anything to say. He said he used to smoke himself. Howard said he remembers one time when he was left behind in this place while his buddies were up getting laid. He said that he must have smoked like 10 packs of cigarettes that day. Howard said he didn't know what to do. He said that he was seething thinking about these guys getting laid while he sat down there smoking.
Howard said that Ryan Phillippe looks like a model and he can do whatever he wants. He said he doesn't need a rap. Howard and JD do. Howard told JD to hang out with High Pitch Eric instead of Ryan. He said he'd look better next to him. Howard said JD should have just started doing work around Ryan's house that day. He could have done chores.
Ralph called in and said it's time to give up on JD. He said he has to step up or just give up. Ralph said it's getting ridiculous at this point. Ralph said that Howard told JD not to bring Ashley to Ryan's house and that's exactly what he did. Ralph said that it doesn't matter what Ashley wants, she's just a hooker. JD told him he can go now.
Howard said he's not giving up on JD. He said he knows that his rap is getting better already. He said he can tell just from that sentence he'd just said. JD was mumbling as usual.
A caller asked Howard to cut Tila Tequila from the replay this afternoon. Howard said he's not going to do that. He said that's ridiculous. Howard let that guy go and asked Robin if he should cut Tila today. Robin said there was that one guy who liked it. Howard said if it was that bad then Tim can cut it out.
Robin read some details about Ashley Dupre saving herself for love. She's not going to sell it anymore. Howard said JD got involved with her just at the right time. She's saving herself for love now. They had to go to a break after that.
After the break, around 10:20am, we heard a ''To Catch a Predator'' parody featuring Ronnie the Limo Driver audio clips. Fred also played a song that the guys made using their Autotune prank call to a restaurant and the Red Hot Chili Peppers ''Higher Ground'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said he had another caller who liked Tila Tequila. the caller said he thought she was awesome. Howard said he's not sure what the controversy is. The caller said she was honest and he liked her a lot. Howard thanked him for the call. The caller said that Steve Brandano is a douche as he was hanging up. Howard said he likes Steve. He didn't want to get into why he thought he was a douche.
A caller said that he went on the web site and saw Tila in her outfit but it was still a shitty interview. Howard thanked him for that call too. Robin said the reactions are mixed. Howard said you never know how the interview is going to be until it happens.
Ralph said that Tila is smoking hot in the pictures on Howard's web site. He said they have pictures of her with her ass sticking up and she looks hot. Ralph said they have one of Tila with the Ronnie Standee and that was the worst of the bunch.
Howard had Robin get back to her news. Robin read about Hugh Hefner getting tired of keeping a whole harem of women around. He's just going to have one woman, Crystal Harris, at his side. Robin said he's 84 years old. Hugh has been saying that she's ''very real.'' Howard said that Hugh kind of got away with doing this stuff and he's like a pioneer. He said that some women are impressed with the way he does things. He said he was just a horny guy who wanted to get some fuck pictures in a magazine.
Robin read a story about how turning on a light at night to go pee can cause things that could cause cancer according to a study that was done. Robin said they found that it can cause the formation of some cells that can cause cancer. Howard asked who doesn't turn on a light at night to go pee. Robin said she doesn't. She knows where the bathroom is. Howard asked Robin how she knew not to do it. Robin said she didn't do it for a reason. She said she just doesn't turn on the light. Howard said Robin always does everything right. Howard said he always turns on the light. Robin said if she's in a strange room she'll turn on a light but just a little light. Howard said he's just going to start peeing in his bed.
Robin read about a study that was done about Alzheimer's disease and they found that diet can help prevent it. She read the list of foods that are good to eat to help out.
Robin read a story about a man who tried to sell his 4 year old son on Craigslist for $5,000. Howard said he thinks he could get $10,000. Robin said the man wrote about how he couldn't afford the kid anymore. They're trying to track down the guy who placed the ad.
Robin read about the Kitty Kelly book about Oprah Winfrey. She said that Kitty claims that Oprah wasn't as poor as a child as she claims she was. They're saying that Stedman is also just there to have a man around and Oprah may be A-sexual. There were a few other details about Oprah that are coming out with this book about her.
Robin read a story about Ben Roethlisberger and how he won't be charged in the case of sexual assault that was brought up against him. Robin said that they now say that no intercourse or rape happened. They didn't have any evidence of anything happening. Gary added that he may be suspended by the league since he shouldn't be banging chicks who are highly intoxicated in the bathroom. Howard said if these players had any brains in their head they would get together and demand that they won't follow the rules like that. Howard said he shouldn't be banging chicks isn't wrong and the guy might not be able to tell just how intoxicated she was. They spent a few minutes going over that subject and playing some audio clips from a press conference.
Robin had some audio of George Lopez talking about Conan coming to TBS to do his show in his time slot. George has no problem with that apparently.
Howard said no one is looking for Conan on TBS. He said that the guy fucked up his whole career and NBC fucked him over too. He said it was a disastrous move. He said that Conan should have been happy with his 12:30 show on NBC. Howard said no one wants to be on TBS. He said he knows that Conan would rather have his old 12:30 show than be on TBS.
Robin had some news about the Polish President's death in an airplane crash. They're going to have his funeral this weekend. Robin said they found the bodies of the President and his wife. Robin read the details about that and had some audio of some people talking about the tragedy.
Robin read a story about Amy Winehouse being hospitalized last weekend for chest pains. The pain was coming from her breast implants according to a friend who also said she was doing fine and she didn't have to stay at the hospital. Howard wondered if she was a one hit wonder. He said she had something going on with the Rehab song and now she's got nothing. Robin had Howard play some of the song. Howard said the song is brilliant but he's not sure if she's got anymore songs in her.
Robin read some American Idol updates and said that Adam Lambert will be mentoring the kids on the show. Howard said a better guy would be Dave Lampert the Sybian creator. Howard played some audio of that creepy dude before asking Robin what else she had.
Robin read about Kate Gosslin and how Jon Gosslin is trying to get in on her new reality show. Robin said that Jon is rethinking walking out on her.
Robin read about this guy Dave Heinman from Nebraska who is going to be signing a new abortion law into effect in the state. Howard thought Robin said ''Hymen'' so he had some fun goofing around with that. Howard talked about how funny that word is. He wondered who came up with that name. He said it would have been great if it was named after someone named Schwartz and they called it a Schwartz instead of a hymen.
Robin said that they did some studies that found that both the Moon and Mars have water on them. Howard wondered what that all means. Robin said that they think that there is water six feet thick or more. Robin said they think that there is also water on Mars and they could use that water to send humans out on space explorations. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:55am.
Gary said that Howard made a good point when he asked why the two top guys from Howard TV were going on the trip. Gange said that was a good point.
Gange told the guys that when Ronnie was booked he really wanted him to go with him. Gary said that he's good friends with Ronnie but how often do they get together. Gange said they do it every couple of weeks and they go to Rick's together. He said he's done other things with him too. He said he knows that Ronnie is there every Friday night but he hangs out with him other places too.
Jon asked Gange if he was yelling at Ronnie out in the hall. Gange said that they love to rile him up and it's a regular thing. He said that Ronnie loves it when he goes with him. He said that Doug came along because he wanted to see Austin. Gange said he wanted to see it too.
Jon asked Gange if he can see why Howard would take issue with this because they both wanted to see Austin. Gange said the majority of the time was his own down there. He said that he was volunteering to go down there and spend time working. He said he's still working and he's not always using the camera. Gary cut him off and said he enjoys doing it or else he wouldn't go.
Gange said that it was less about going to Rick's in Austin than going to hang out with his buddies down there. Gange said that Ronnie always asks him to go.
Jon played some audio of Howard talking to Gary about the guys going down to shoot this whole thing. After that clip Gary said that after they sorted that all out they found out that a pick up crew would cost more. He said he thinks that they're spending money on things that they don't need to cover. Gary said Howard seemed irritated by the trip. Gange said they try to cover as much as they can. He said they hadn't covered one of these club openings in a while and they figured they'd do one now.
Jon also brought up Howard's concern for Gange's health. Gary said it got weird for him when Howard told Doug off the air to tell Gange not to go. That wasn't a joke for the air. Gange said that he appreciates the concern but he's been riding his bike a lot. He said he goes out for a bike ride almost every nice day he can. He said he rides for like 15 miles. Gange said that there isn't that much difference between 15 and 40 miles on a bike.
Jon asked Gange why he's so fat if he rides so much. Gange said he must eat too much. He said that he didn't eat as much as Ronnie said they did down in Austin. He said they ate twice a day down there. He said that he does pack a sandwich when he goes on a trip on a plane. He said he also packs Skittles for his bike rides.
Benjy asked Gange if he has to eat the sandwich or dos he throw it out if he doesn't get to it. Gange said he will throw it out if he doesn't get hungry. He said he buys the sandwich at an airport. Gary said he would never eat one of those sandwiches. Gange said the worst food is in the airport in Las Vegas.
Jon took a call from a woman who asked Gange if he has ever done this bike tour. Gange said he hasn't but he's done other ones. The woman said that it's very hard and there is a 2 or 3 mile incline on the Verrazano bridge that's really tough. She said she's done this tour and other ones.
Gange said they invite kids to do this ride. The woman said that when he hits the bridge it's going to be tough and he's never going to make it. The woman told Gange to quite while he's ahead. Gange told her to come find him and help him get over the bridge.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Gange is going to get his ass kicked. He said that 40 miles is not like 15 miles. He said that he doesn't give a shit what he thinks, that isn't going to be like riding 15 miles. Gary said it's almost 3 times as much mileage. Gange said that if he can't make it he'll just take a subway home. He's not that worried about it. He said it's not a race either so he can take as long as he wants.
Ralph called in and said that it's a bicycle and it's not that tough. He said he has to agree with Gange about packing food on the airplane. He said he does the same thing. Ralph said he brings food with him and he has gotten stuck before and had people around him getting all pissed they didn't have anything to eat and he was fine.
Ralph said they did a trip to Las Vegas one time and he asked Doug if he could go out to judge chicks. Ralph said they didn't have money for that. He said they had money for those guys to take a tour of Austin though. Gange said that was last year's budget and this was this year's budget. Ralph said they blew the budget already. He said that it's the beginning of the year and they're already blowing the money.
Gange told Ralph that he paid for his own trip out there to Vegas. He said that was his vacation time. He worked during his vacation. Gary said they all work during their vacations there.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Gange is really miscalculating the bike ride. He told him to get his bike set up properly because he's going to need every ounce of help he can get. The guy said that when it's flat all of the energy being expended is his own. The bike doesn't do anything. Gange said he can back out if he wants to.
Ronnie came in so Jon asked him about the eating down in Austin. He said that Gange said he was exaggerating. Ronnie said that Gange was eating two meals because he woke up late. He said that he saw what Gange consumed and it was a lot of food. Gange said he wasn't the only one eating. He said they had other people there.
Ronnie said that they were at a restaurant 3 hours after eating. Gange said that he's the biggest liar. He said he wasn't eating that often.
Jon asked Ronnie if he thinks they were taking advantage of the situation. Ronnie said he had a good time and he's not going to get thrown under the bus with all of this. Ronnie said he does like it when Gange comes out to the openings.
Jon asked if they would be friends if Rick's didn't exist. Ronnie said of course they would. He said that they hang out once in a while and it would be nice if Gary hung out with the lower folks once in a while. He was just joking about that.
Jon asked Gange about DePace going out to Las Vegas for the NAB thing. Gange said that he has gotten stuff out there before and Scott is in charge of the technology there. He said Scott has to learn about 3D stuff and other products. He said that they have gotten a lot of contacts and information out there and Scott is the guy for that. Gange said they need someone like that because they never know what they're going to need.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that no one can go 4 hours on the show without eating. He said that people who work normal jobs don't stop and eat every 2 hours. Benjy said that Howard limits his eating. He said when he eats he hasn't been eating constantly. Gary said they all eat when they get to work because they get in there so early. Gary said he'd have to get up an hour earlier if he wanted to eat. The caller said ''Awww...'' to that. Gary told him that he'd like to see this guy getting up at 4 in the morning every day.
The caller said that it's very hard to get up at 4 in the morning every day. He said that they eat there because of that.
The caller also told Gange that the argument that they needed content for the Bonus Show was pretty weak. Gange said that was just one of the arguments. There were other reasons too.
Gange was telling the guys about how Doug likes to get away from the family once in a while because it's tough to get time alone. Gary said that it is a rest when you get to get away from the kids for a couple of days.
Ralph called in again and said it sounds awful that Doug can't even take a shower for long by himself. Gary told Ralph not to worry because he'll be able to take a shower alone the rest of his life.
Ralph said he wants to go out to this convention for clothing retailers but he can't get out there to do that either. Gange told Ralph that New York is the fashion capital of the world so he doesn't need to do that. He said that maybe they can work out something for Ralph if he's going to actually go out there and buy clothes.
Ralph said he was just pointing out some stuff there. Doug came in and told Ralph that they tried to get Ralph into that show out there and they weren't able to get him into it. Ralph said he's asked to go out there before too though. He was arguing with Doug and Gange saying that they seem to be able to get themselves out there to gigs that they want to go to but they can't help him out.
Doug said they have done some stuff for Ralph before and it's not like they've never done anything for him. Ralph said that he has to do stuff for Howard and they only covered a change fee for a flight he had to change. He said that he wasn't asking for a whole trip that time. Ralph said that they could have brought him out to the Vegas thing. Jon said he was kind of stuck on that subject. Ralph said that was the point of his call so of course he is.
Ralph said that it's odd how the whole crew can go out for this Rick's thing but they can't get him out to Vegas to be a judge. Gary asked Ralph if he'd be mad if they had sent some other people from Howard TV out there. Ralph said it would be different. Gange said it would have cost them more if they had sent hourly wage guys out there.
Jon asked Doug about his life at home and if it's as bad as Howard made it out to be. Doug said that things are great at home and he loves his family. He said it pisses him off when someone says something like that. He said maybe Howard has issues at home but not him. Doug said it was kind of disrespectful to talk about his life at home like that. Doug said that he's glued to his kids and he loves his wife. He said he's had a great marriage for over 10 years and they never fight.
Doug said that he actually had Chris Costa booked to go down there and then his wife told him that he should go and he stepped in. He said that his wife was the one who told him to go so he went.
Gary said that Howard is right sometimes about guys who want to get out of the house. He said there might be a small element there where Doug wants to get out but that's not wrong. Doug said he's doing the same thing for his wife in September. She's going away for a few days so he'll be spending time with the kids.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's up at 2 in the morning and he has to go home and do that every day. He said that he can only eat once a day. He's not sure why they're able to eat so much. Gary said that he never said it wasn't hard doing his job. The guy said that Gary could eat a sandwich on his way into work. Gary said he's not going to do that in the car. They had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said he thinks that Tila was hated before she was even on the show. He said that they get pissed off at people who they think don't have the right to be famous. Doug apparently didn't like her interview either. Gary said he was on his intercom talking to him trough the whole interview asking why they had to listen to her. Doug said that no one cares about her and she was acting like everyone should care. Doug said Howard did as well as he could but it was a tough one.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard did do a great interview but Tila is one of the worst things to come out of American culture in history. He asked if they're going to put it on Best of the Week or not. Gary said she probably will because it will be a benchmark for a bad guest or maybe someone will want to hear what the controversy was over.
Gary said that Tila has been involved in some stuff that was pretty interesting and if you like her or not, she had some interesting stuff going on in her life. Gary said she had some notes that were interesting and they take chances on people all the time. Gary said they often get people who are surprised when certain people come on the show.
Gange said he didn't get why it was so bad. He thought she was kind of wacky. Gary said he wanted her to come out being more crazy than she did today. He said that he wanted her to be like Michelle Rodriguez the first time she was on the show. He said that Tila was keeping that side of her repressed today from what he could tell.
Jon had Teddy play a clip from Tila's interview where she was talking about how she sucks people in with her intensity and love.
Gary said that fans wanted them to throw her out after a short time and they just don't do that. He said that they had that with Ashley Dupre too. Doug said he loved the caller who told her to save some of the good stuff for next time and Tila fell for it.
A caller told Gary that Tila wasn't answering questions directly and she wandered a lot. He said that the content was boring too. He said that no one cares why she went from Friendster to Myspace or any of the other stories she was telling. He said that Doug Goodstein also hit on something. He said that she told stories like everyone knew what she was talking about. He said that was annoying too.
Benjy said she wasn't a great story teller. He said that the first half of the interview didn't click but he felt the second half did. He thought her dream thing was interesting and so was the dog story.
Jon asked how small she was. Gary said she was 4'11'' tall and she's close to being the shortest woman they've had on the show.
Another caller said that Bob Levy had a nervous breakdown on his show and Greg Fitzsimmons made national news with an interview with Tom Arnold and they didn't bother covering any of that. He said that they just had this fucktard in instead. Gary said that they were offered a guest and they booked her. Gary said that they're offered guests like that and they pick and choose who they want to have on.
The caller said that Gary is mixing categories of celebrities and Tila isn't the same as the other people Gary was mentioning. Gary said that they don't know in advance if it's going to work out or not. He said on paper it looked like a home run. The caller said that people care about Greg and Bob Levy but Gary has personal issues with them so he won't have them in. Gary said that Greg can pretty much walk in there whenever he wants. He said that Bob has been on the show before and he'll be on again. He said they don't just have people come in and sit in on the news like they used to.
Gary said he's not the only one making the decision there either. He said that he can put Bob Levy on the show and he'll get a ton of mail asking why he's on again. They try to do the best they can.
Another caller said that he hated Tila on the show but it does show a different part of the world that they don't get to see usually. Gary said that he was taught by a teacher that when you have a work of art you want someone to comment on it whether or not it's good or bad. He said that they got a reaction out of Tila's appearance.
Doug said that they probably wouldn't change today's show and wouldn't go back and change it. They said that she may not be back on the show again but they did give it a shot today.
Gary said he wasn't a fan of Kim Kardashian before she came in. He didn't think that was going to go over well but it wasn't so bad. That interview worked out. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about the fun they were going to have today. Fred threw in Medicated Pete's ''Oh My'' George Takei impression before Howard got into details.
Howard said he heard Doug Goodstein giving it to him on the Wrap Up Show. He said he still thinks that he's right about Doug wanting to get out of the house though. Howard played a clip from the Wrap Up Show where Doug was talking about his fantastic relationship with his kids and how he has nothing wrong at home. He said it pisses him off that Howard is insinuating that he has something wrong at home. He said he's glued to his kids at home.
After playing the clip Howard said he wasn't so glued to his kids for two days. He said that if things are so great then why would he want to go away from them for two days. Robin said he's asking the wrong person. She said that you want to be around all of those things and she's not sure how Doug feels about Austin. Howard told Robin not to bring her bullshit into this. He said that if he has vegetable juice in one room and steak in another, which room is she going in. Robin said she's going to the juice but Doug might like both.
Howard said if Doug had Ronnie the Limo Driver in one room and Pam Anderson in another room ready to blow him, which one is he going to? Robin said it's a marriage, she doesn't know what the guy is going to do.
Howard said he doesn't think it's right to go to Austin, Texas. He said if things were that great he would stay home with the wife and kids. He said he wouldn't want to go to Austin with Ronnie.
Howard said Gange was talking about how much Ronnie likes it when he goes with him to these clubs. He said that doesn't matter. He can't imagine on what planet Mike Gange is fun on. Howard said he thinks Ronnie doesn't even get paid that well to do these appearances.
Robin wondered what they get out of these appearances. Howard said they get Ronnie yelling into a microphone. Howard wondered why they didn't follow Robin to Guatemala. Robin said it wasn't her. She said they wanted to go but the U.N. didn't want them to go.
Howard said Doug might have a great marriage but it can't be that great if Doug wanted to go. Gary said that they claimed that the footage they got of Ronnie was going to be extra stuff for the Bonus Show. Gary said a caller called them out on that.
Howard said he thinks that he's cool with Doug now. He said he's not sure. He said it seems like Doug and Gange are only going on the strip club appearances. If Ronnie was at a museum then they're not showing up.
Howard took a call from a guy who thought they had a question wrong in the High Pitch Eric game yesterday. The caller was wrong about that though. The guy ended up changing subjects and asking if they were going to take bets on how long Gange was going to last in his 42 mile bike ride. Howard said that Gange has no idea what it's going to be like and he could drop dead after a ride like that. Howard and Robin talked about what Gange was saying on the Wrap Up Show about that bike ride.
Robin said that Gange is in denial about how much food he eats. She said he isn't even aware of it. Howard said he claims that he doesn't always eat the sandwiches he buys for his plane rides. He said he guarantees the guy never throws away anything. Robin said he buys Skittles for his bike rides just in case his sugar gets low.
Ronnie came in and said that Gange never throws away any food when they fly anywhere. He said he either eats the sandwich before the flight or on the flight. He said he didn't eat anything himself and Gange has to eat.
Howard wondered why anyone would want to eat on a flight anyway. That makes you all farty and could make you shit.
Howard asked why Ronnie was yelling at Gange in the hall yesterday. Ronnie said he had his balls broken all weekend so he was paying Gange back for that out there. He said it was just goofing around though. Ronnie also told Howard that Medicated Pete's girlfriend is there today. Howard said he knows that. He'll have him in soon. Howard said that Pete's girlfriend is way too good looking for him. He said it's ridiculous.
Howard had a guy on the phone who said he has triplets and he hasn't left his house in 7 years. Howard said if his wife had a burning desire to go to Austin then she has to expand her horizons. Howard said that Doug just wanted out of the house to go to a strip club. Howard said guys love that.
Doug Goodstein came in. Howard said that he wouldn't admit it on the air either if he was Doug. Doug said that he didn't finish playing the clip that he was playing. Doug told Howard that he had assigned people to go on the trip and it was his wife who told him to go on the trip. Doug said she probably wanted him to go. Howard said that it's so fun at home then why did he want to go. Howard said Doug didn't see Austin, he saw a strip club. Doug said he saw Austin.
Doug said they went out on Thursday and he was home by Saturday. He missed the kids for 5 or 6 hours that he didn't get to see them. Doug said that he has a good situation at home. He asked Howard where Beth is when she goes away. Howard said Beth is out working. He said she's in Philly for the day and it's for work. Yesterday she was shooting a TV commercial in New York. Doug asked Howard why she has to find so many jobs away from home. He said it sounds like something is going on. Howard said she wasn't at a strip club. He said if she was then there would be something to discuss with her.
Doug said he likes to travel too. He said it's not just to go work. Doug said he went to shoot some stuff with Bubba about a month ago too. Howard asked where they went. Doug said they ended up at a strip club but he didn't want to be there so he left. Howard asked when they haven't gone to a strip club on a trip.
Howard said Tim Sabean loves to go see Bubba too. He said they go to the strip clubs down there when they go to visit. Doug said they have a hotel for their guests that's right near the strip club down there.
Howard let Doug go a short time later. Howard wanted to move on to Medicated Pete. Howard said Doug went to see Bubba but he was right next door to a strip club. Howard said it's like every time he turns over a leaf he finds another strip club. Howard said Ronnie's whole life is strip clubs now. He said sometimes he picks up his own airfare to go to them. He said these guys then have to go cover Ronnie at the clubs. Howard said if Ronnie went to a museum then no one is going to cover him.
Howard said that Pete's girlfriend's name was Sarah. Pete said that this is amazing and even he's taken aback by it. Howard asked Pete if he's ever had a girlfriend. Pete said he had never even kissed a girl. Sarah told Howard they met on Match.com. Sarah said Pete contacted her and they took it from there. Howard asked what Pete said to her. She said that he said they should talk sometime.
Howard said Pete was twitching like a mother fucker today. Sarah said it was even worse outside. Howard asked what Pete said to her on Match.com. Pete was twitching so much that it was distracting. Pete said he had to get in the frame of mind. Sarah said he wouldn't even sit next to her out there in the green room.
Howard asked Sarah if they could have a future or is Pete going to be like a kid to her. She said he's going to be short like a kid. Howard asked if she's going to have to support him the rest of her life. Sarah said she thinks that he'll find something to do. She's not sure what that would be.
Howard asked what Pete could do for a living. He's not going to be carrying a briefcase. Pete said that's not his thing and he's not a 9 to 5 kind of guy. Howard said he's not a noon to 9 kind of guy either. Pete said he's more like a 6 to 7 guy.
Howard asked Pete what he wants to do for a living. Pete said he likes the entertainment business and radio. He said he hopes he can find something in that industry. He said he'd like to do some acting or radio thing. Something where he puts himself out on the line. Pete is actually 35 years old. He just had a birthday recently. Sarah had to correct him when he said he was 34.
Howard asked Sarah why she was rubbing Pete's back. She said he was very nervous and she had never seen him like that. Howard asked Sarah if she can get him relaxed. She said that when they're home alone it's different. She said he doesn't twitch at home. She said he'll make all kinds of weird noises at home but only when she's not near her.
Howard asked Sarah if Pete becomes a big actor is she afraid he'll leave her. Pete said he doesn't see that happening. Sarah said she thinks that she'd give any woman a run for their money. Howard said he thinks that Pete would want some variety.
Sarah has had boyfriends before so Howard asked about that. Sarah said she was in a relationship for 7 years before this. She said it had been over for about a year before she met Pete on Match.com.
Howard told Pete that this is cool for him. Now he has a girl to hang out with. Pete said it's cool as shit. Howard asked if he's making up for lost time with sex. Sarah said it is like that. She said it depends on the day but they'll have sex as often as they can. Pete said they do it as much as they can. Pete said it's like this awakening for him.
Howard asked Sarah how long she waited to give it up to Pete. She said it was a couple of weeks. Howard asked Pete if he was snotting all over himself. Pete said he was and asked for a tissue. Howard asked if it turns her off to see this. Sarah said she dos have to tell him to wipe his face sometimes.
Robin asked Sarah if she knew who Pete was when she met him. She said that she did recognize him when he contacted her.
Howard asked Pete why he was so twitchy today. Pete said it's different every day and it's a little rough today.
Gary came in and said that someone in management told Pete that he had a smell about him that he should take care of. Gary said he found that weird because he never smelled anything. Howard said he never had either. Sarah said he takes like an hour in the shower so she's never smelled anything either.
Howard asked Sarah about introducing Pete to her parents. She said she did that and her mom thought there was something a little off about him. She said she had to fill her in about the Tourettes. Sarah said that Pete has met some of her friends too.
Howard asked Pete what it was like making love to Sarah. Pete told him to just look at her. Howard said it must have been wild for Pete after 35 years finally getting to be with a woman. He asked when Sarah gave herself up to him. Sarah said it was at night and Pete came in and did his thing. Howard said he must have been fully aroused. He asked if she disrobed Pete. She wasn't sure how that happened. Pete said it was a sensual thing.
Sarah said she was playing with her belly ring and Pete was intrigued by that. Pete started feeling around that and then moved his way up to her chest. That was the first time for him getting titty. He said he was on a couch doing that. Howard said Sarah looks to be a B or C. She said they are around that size. Howard asked if she needed to help Pete how to get her bra off. Pete had no clue how to get it off so she did have to help.
Pete said it was a very sensual evening. Pete said he felt around her and he was very gentle doing that. Sarah said he was gentle. Howard asked if he spent too much time on that. She said he didn't.
Howard asked if Sarah was shaved. She said she wasn't going there. Howard asked how big Pete was down there. She said that he was the biggest she's ever had. Howard asked if he got oral that night. Pete said that he didn't remember if it was that night or the night after. Sarah said he had no problem getting going that night.
Howard asked how long Pete lasted with her. He said he must have exploded instantly. Sarah said he didn't at all. Pete said he thinks that he may have jerked off that night before he went out. Howard said that helps take the edge off. Howard said he got the poison out. That led to Fred playing some Dave Lampert clips from the creepy Sybian ride.
Howard asked Sarah about what Pete did that night. She said he didn't do anything too crazy. Howard said Pete should have since he didn't know if this was going to be a once in a lifetime thing. Pete said he went all in that night.
Sarah claims that he lasted 5 or 10 minutes. Howard asked if he talked dirty. She said he didn't that much. Sarah said he wasn't grunting or anything either. She said the Tourettes was gone during that. She said when his mind is focused on that it's all gone.
Sarah and Pete have been dating for 3 months now. Howard asked if he's in love. Pete said he is. Howard asked Sarah if she's in love too. She said she thinks she is and she's told Pete that. Howard said that it could end up in marriage then. Sarah said she didn't know about that. Pete said he would think about it.
Pete has moved in with Sarah and she said that his mother misses him a lot and she had to force him to go home on his birthday. Howard said Pete must be having fun. He said he's never seen him as much of a mess as he is today though.
Howard asked if Pete asks Sarah about her day when she comes home. She said he does. Howard asked if he ever pays for anything. Sarah said they split things once in a while. Howard asked Pete where he gets his money from. Pete said his parents help him out. He said they're happy for him. Howard said they need to marry him off, that's what it is.
Howard said Pete was very twitchy and grunty today. He wanted to hear some of the noises he was making. He let him go for a couple of minutes. Howard asked Pete if he can drive a car. Pete said he has driven but he doesn't have his own car. Sarah said he's not getting her car either.
Howard said this seems to be like a Sandra Bullock and Jesse James kind of thing. He said this is great for the two of them though. He said he's happy for them.
Howard asked Sarah if he was the man of her dreams. She said ''We'll see where it goes... '' Howard took that as a no. Howard asked her if she found it hard to see past his difficulties. She said she knew he was a good person before she met him. She said that she had heard him on the radio before.
Howard asked Sarah about the impressions Pete does. Sarah said she likes some of them but not the George Takei impression. Howard said that's his favorite and asked Pete to do some of that for them. Howard asked him some questions as if he were George. Pete was doing his awful impression which they love for being so bad.
Howard asked Pete to do his Ronnie impression too. That was a little better than his Takei impression. He was yelling and cursing just like Ronnie does. Pete also does a Gary impression that Howard said was dead on. It wasn't anything like Gary.
Captain Janks called in and asked them to kiss in the studio to prove they're a real couple. He doesn't believe they're a real couple. Howard said he believes it but he did ask Sarah to kiss Pete in there. Sarah said she wouldn't do it on the air. Janks said they weren't willing to swap spit. Robin said they were swapping spit but not voluntarily. Pete was spitting all over the place.
Sarah claimed that Pete had said they weren't going to do that on the air. Pete changed his mind and the two of them made out a little bit. Janks said ''Eric the Midget sucks dick'' as he was hanging up.
Howard said it seems like Pete's lips are always covered in spit. Sarah said it wasn't that bad. Howard asked Sarah how tall she was. She was like 6 feet tall and Pete is only like 5'6'' tall. Sarah said it's tough to meet guys who are her height.
Pete told Howard there was a lot of things in their relationship where people said it wasn't real. He said that some people said there was star fucking going on. Pete said that it was never like that. Howard and Robin wondered who the ''star'' was in that relationship.
Howard asked Sarah if she could beat Pete up if she had to. She said she definitely could. Howard said this reminds him of Susan Anton and Dudley Moore. He said that she was very tall and Dudley was very short. Howard asked Sarah if she could leave Pete for someone more twitchy than him. Sarah said that's not going to happen.
Howard asked Pete if he's going to buy her a ring at some point. Pete said that he could do that. Sarah wondered who is going to pay for the ring. Howard told her that she would be paying for it.
Howard said it seems that Sarah is in it for the real deal. Pete said that she's infatuated with animals too. She does animal rescue and fosters a lot of pets. Sarah said that Pete helps her with dog walking and stuff. She said that Pete actually gets walked by the dog. She said she has a pit bull that Pete was scared of. She said that the dog actually cleaned up Pete's face after he ate dinner.
Howard said watching Pete is kind of difficult. Sarah said she tries not to make him talk when he's eating because it can be trouble. Howard said he's pulling for Pete. He said that Sarah is bright and articulate and she's everything Pete is not.
Howard asked if Pete can be brought out in public with her friends. She said that he's actually fine out socially. She said his Tourettes goes away when they're out.
Howard told Sarah she's quite a catch. Robin said she's worried about Pete. If he loses her then there's going to be trouble. Howard said Pete may never get laid again if that happens. Howard asked Pete if he knows how to do oral. Pete said he knows how to do that. Sarah said he did learn somehow. Howard said it must have been porn. Howard asked if he was able to find the clitoris. Pete said he had no trouble doing that. Howard asked if he knows what to do with it. Pete said he knows.
Howard asked Sarah if he can give her an orgasm through penetration. Sarah said he can. Robin noticed that Sarah was rubbing his arm looking for a muscle. Pete said he weighs like 60 pounds.
Howard said that's amazing that Pete gives her an orgasm. He asked if they're going to do anal. Sarah said they're not going there. Pete was snorting and sniffing like crazy at this point.
Howard told Sarah not to break his heart. He told Pete not to be an asshole to her. Sarah said he's in training. Howard told Pete to try to calm the fuck down too. He told him to give her some space and let her study. Howard asked if she likes when he's over. Sarah said that she does have to ask him to give her some room to do her work. She said that she has work to do and he's always around her. Howard told Pete that she digs him but he can't smother her. Howard told Pete to act like he has something to do. He said he needs a hobby or something.
Howard said Pete must love sleeping over at her house. Sarah said he taps on the headboard a lot. Pete said sometimes he thinks it's too good to be true. Howard said Sarah is rubbing his shoulder and that's got to be great for him. Pete said he does love it. Howard said she can't even keep her hands off of him. Howard started to do his ''yeah, yeah, yeah...'' thing with Pete getting him to repeat after him. Pete has to say something after him because of his Tourettes.
Howard said the game is fun and Sarah should try it. Sarah said she had never done that with him. Howard said that Pete has to answer you when you do that.
A caller asked Pete if he had any advice for JD on how to go from Chopsticks to getting a chick. Sarah said she likes JD and she would have dated him if she hadn't met Pete. Sarah said she knows that he has high standards though. Howard said she's up to his standards. Howard told her not to worry about that.
Howard said he hopes that JD can find a nice girl like Sarah. Robin said that he has to stop with the porn sites and go on Match.com instead. Pete said that site is hit or miss. Howard said life is hit or miss. Pete said it's like a crap shoot on that site. Robin didn't understand. Sarah told her she doesn't need to understand.
Howard asked JD to come in and get some advice. JD came in and said that just because he's not talking about it on the air doesn't mean he's not dating. He said he hasn't had intercourse in a long time but he got a blow job about a month ago. Howard asked when he last got one from a girl. JD said that was from a girl.
Howard asked JD why he didn't get intercourse. JD said it may have been a certain time of the month. JD said he hasn't seen her lately and she's not the only girl he's talking to. Howard said he's juggling some girls. Sarah said he's like a pimp daddy.
Howard told JD to take something away from this and see what Pete has managed to do. Howard said that JD has to find someone nice like this Sarah. JD said he'll get a DVD of this appearance and study it.
Howard wished Sarah the best with her studies and told Pete that he should pinch himself every day. He said he never thought he'd see the day that he'd be dating regularly. Howard said he has to calm down with the snorting too. Howard said that has to be exhausting. Pete said it goes on all day long and he's worn out by 8 at night.
Sarah got in a plug for her web site MuttsNMore.com where she rescues and adopts out pets. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along to the song a little bit. Howard said that they have a real man coming in next. Howard said that the guy should be celebrated and saluted. Howard said the guy is a brave man and no pussy. It was Buzz Aldrin. Howard said Buzz is the second man to walk on the moon. Howard said this man is a real hero.
Howard told Buzz he loves him. Buzz thanked him for that. He asked Howard if they were going to have an affair. Howard said he doesn't go that way but he is a hero to him. Howard asked how old he was when he went to the moon. Buzz said he was 39. Robin asked what he was thinking. Howard said he doesn't even have the balls to fly out to California.
Buzz told Howard that his father was an aviation pioneer and the people he associated with were aviation pioneers so he grew up hearing about all of these people. Buzz said he had his first ride in 1932 when he was just 2 years old. Buzz went over some of the time he spent in the service where he got to fly around North Korea. He said he was shooting a .50 caliber and took down two of the enemy planes.
Howard asked Buzz how you get over fear in your life. Buzz said you suppress it. He told Howard that it can be paralyzing emotion and you have to be open minded and very alert.
Buzz saw Robin and gave her the thumbs up. He asked who the big headed guy was on her desk being lifted up by balloons. It was an Eric the Midget statue on her desk.
Howard said Buzz's father lobbied NASA to get his son on the moon. Buzz said that they wanted someone who wasn't in the military but Neil (Armstrong) was a military guy. Buzz said his father didn't understand the rocket business. He said that he thought they could rescue someone on the noon with another rocket and you just can't do that.
Howard asked Buzz if he felt disappointment that he wasn't the first. Buzz said his father didn't understand the background so he shouldn't have been in the offices having the conversations. Buzz said that when Kennedy said that they were going to go to the moon he said that they wanted to just land a man there and get him back safely. Kennedy never thought about stepping foot on the moon. Buzz gave Howard some history about all of that stuff.
Howard asked Buzz if he knows what a hero he is. He said that no one knew if they were going to make it back or not. Buzz said anything that goes up must come down. Howard said when he went up there it was a good chance he wasn't going to make it back. Buzz said that Chuck Yeager was a little resentful because the air force wouldn't allow him to announce that he had broken the sound barrier. He said that they wanted an air force person to do that. He ran down the history of Chuck and what he did. He said that he got away with all sorts of things when he was testing. Buzz said he went horse back riding the day before he was going to fly supersonic and broke a rib doing that. He said he wasn't even able to close the hatch himself. He said that's not professionalism when you fly like that.
Buzz said that going up in a can and coming back in a can wasn't something to be admired at the time. Buzz said that they had done that in Russia so that expedited their program there. Buzz told Howard about the experiments that they were doing during all of this. He said that they had to pick a person to walk on the moon and it was always the junior person on the flight. Buzz aid that they could have had two people go outside but the training was so heavy on the commander that it was the junior person on the flight.
Buzz said they had a dilemma about the whole thing and no one wanted to make a decision on it. He said that he went to the head of the Apollo program office and told them to make a decision and stick to it. Buzz said he was assigned to Apollo 11 and he really didn't want to go around the world to do the press tour. He said he just wanted to do his job.
Howard asked where Neil Armstrong is these days. Buzz said he just saw him last night. Howard said he should be proud of what he does and get out there in the public eye.
Howard asked if Buzz was confident in what NASA was doing. Buzz said that he was. He said that when they started this program they really didn't know how to get to the moon. Howard said he must have been nervous about the whole thing. Buzz said they could have turned around and come back at many times during the mission. He said they figured that it was about a 60 percent chance that they'd land successfully. He said if they weren't able to land they would have had a good chance of making it back safely. Buzz said they spent 80 percent of their time training for emergency procedures.
Buzz told Howard what he was doing before he got into this program. He said that during the cold war he was being trained how to drop nuclear weapons on Russia and Poland. Howard asked if he still flies. Buzz said that's a long story. He said he wanted to play golf when he got more time and he couldn't see wasting 5 hours in a day doing that. Buzz said there are no fighter pilots living in Beverly Hills. Howard asked if that's where he lives now. He said he lives on the fringes of that area.
Howard asked how he can afford to live out there. Buzz said he lost half of his retirement pay when he got divorced. That led to Buzz talking about how his mother had committed suicide the year before he went to the moon. He said that she may have done that because she didn't want to deal with the publicity around the flight to the moon. He said he wrote about this in his book ''Magnificent Desolation: The Long Journey Home from the Moon.''
Buzz told Howard about some parties they used to have back in the day. He said that they had a Maryann party that was something like a toga party. Howard said he must have gotten laid like crazy. Howard asked how old he was when he got married. Buzz said he was almost 25. Howard asked if he got a lot of chicks. Buzz said it wasn't a ton. Buzz didn't have an age for his first time. Buzz said that he had ''partial'' sex at some point when he was young. Buzz said he wasn't that into girls and his mother wanted him to work hard in high school. He said she also made him take dancing lessons. Buzz said that subject came up when he was asked to be part of Dancing with the Stars.
Howard asked how Pam Anderson looked. Buzz said she looked pretty good. Howard said that chick Nicole was hot. Buzz said she was very good looking. Howard said that had to get his juices flowing. Buzz said that it was one of the appreciates sidelines in being part of that show.
Howard asked Buzz if he still wants to have sex at 80. Buzz said of course he does. Howard asked dif he takes Viagra. Buzz said that he has the pills.
Buzz told Howard that they have had 24 men on the moon and they have written to the president asking him to get someone to Mars. Buzz said that they didn't have anything on the moon and that's why he called it ''Magnificent Desolation'' in his book title.
Howard asked Buzz about the smell of the moon. Buzz said that they claim that it would burst into flames if they exposed the moon dust to oxygen. He said they did that and nothing happened. Buzz said that Neil had scooped up some of it and brought it into the capsule and nothing happened.
Howard said that they should blow up the moon. He said it would fix a lot of things like women's monthly cycles. Buzz told Howard that there was a book written by Isaac Asmimov about why the moon is where it is and why it's there. He said they came up with a theory that a large object early in the formation of Earth, maybe the size of Mars, hit the Earth and caused stuff to splash off and create the moon. Buzz said that they don't think it was captured or spun off form something else.
Howard asked why they have to go to Mars. Buzz said there are quite a few reasons. One of them is to search for life. Howard said Buzz doesn't want to ruin anyone's fun but there is no life out there. Howard said there is only life here. Buzz asked how he knows that. Howard said there is nothing out there. Buzz said they have their galaxy and it's 100,000 light years in size. He said we have no idea what else is out there. Robin asked why this accident would only happen once. Buzz said that it was a quirk of nature that was created by some higher being.
Howard asked Buzz if he has ever had any famous women. Howard said he knows he was with Gina Lollobrigida. Buzz said he must have read his book. Buzz said that hey are very good friends. Howard said she was a bombshell back in the day.
Buzz talked about how he got to know Gina after going out on his tour of the world. He said that she gave them a party before they went to the moon. Howard asked if there was instant chemistry with them. Buzz wasn't saying much about that.
Howard asked Buzz about the woman he was dancing with on Dancing with the Stars. He asked if he got aroused with her. Buzz said that her family are very devoted Mormons. He said that she's got two young boys and she met some cute guy and got married.
Howard asked Buzz how much he made doing that show. Buzz said he doesn't even know, his step-daughter negotiates all of that stuff.
Howard said Buzz has an app out for the iPhone. Howard asked what it is. Buzz explained what an app is first. He told Howard about what the app does and demonstrated it to him on his phone. It sounded like it was to follow what Buzz does or like it was just his web site put into an app.
Howard said Buzz did it all. He said he's a hero. Buzz was asking about something he had to drink but Howard had no idea what it was. Howard asked him about his alcoholism. Buzz said he's been sober for 31 years. He said it wasn't easy. Buzz said they asked him to have a psychiatric exam every year to keep his pilots license. Buzz said he wasn't interested in that.
Howard asked Buzz if he still has a relationship with NASA. Buzz said he does. He said that Richard Branson shouldn't be calling his people ''astronauts.'' He said that's reserved for the NASA Astronauts. Buzz said that what Branson is doing isn't really going into space. He said they're going up to the edge of space but not into space.
Howard asked Buzz if he ever wants to fly the planes when he's up there. Buzz said he will go up and say hi to the crew and he would like to sit in the cockpit but they frown on that since 9/11. Buzz said he's going to be signing a deal to work for Jet Suite. He said he'll be consulting with those people. Buzz told Howard about how he got to land a plane and he had no problem doing that.
Howard gave Buzz some plugs for his book ''Magnificent Desolation: The Long Journey Home from the Moon'' and then told him that the can he was holding was some kind of fake vagina toy. He gave him some plugs for his iPhone app too.
Howard was wrapping up with Buzz and Buzz noticed the Wheel of Sex behind him. He saw Richard's name on there so he asked who he was. Howard said that Richard is just some freak who works for him.
Howard asked Buzz about this Kate Gosslin on Dancing with the Stars. He asked why she looks so angry all the time. Buzz said he thinks that she's internalizing things and that's why she looks so angry on the show. He said he didn't have a problem with her. He said that he did like that Nicole on the show though. He said he likes Evan too and he had met him even before they did the show together.
Howard asked Buzz if he's a republican. Buzz said he's not. He said he's very supportive of President Obama right now. He said he likes that he's talking about going into space and he wants to help advice them on that kind of thing.
Howard found out that Buzz had voted for McCain. Howard said he couldn't have liked Sarah Palin. Buzz said he thought she was a breath of fresh air. He said that she could be taught a few things though. Howard added ''just like Gina was.''
Howard told Buzz he's a real American and if he wasn't such a pussy he'd go up to the moon too. Robin asked what's going to happen with NASA now that the shuttle is being retired. Buzz said they could stretch the shuttle out for a few more years by knocking it down to one flight a year. Buzz said they have some other solutions but it's going to irritate people. He said that they wanted to go to the moon with two rockets but they really only need one.
Howard gave Buzz some more plugs and was about to wrap up with him. Buzz told Howard that he has 830,000 followers on Twitter. He also said he did a rap song with Snoop Dogg and someone else. Howard said he had the song so he played some of that.
Howard also mentioned that Buzz's mother's last name was Moon. He thought that meant something but no one responded so Howard just ended the interview.
Howard told Gary to bring in Jesse now. He didn't bother going over her notes. Will said that they did have some stuff to go over. Will said the stuff he had to tell him was kind of a buzz kill. He didn't want to do that.
Howard took the notes and said he'd just read them out loud. Howard said he wanted to bring Jesse in and maybe bring Buzz in too. Jesse came in and said that she hadn't seen Howard for a long time. Jesse said that Buzz was the first one on the moon. Howard had to correct her and say he was the second.
Howard asked Jesse if she'd show her boobs to Buzz. She said she would so Howard told Gary to go out and get him. Howard said that Jesse is like the best looking porn star out there. Jesse thanked him for that. Howard said her boobs look great too.
Buzz came in and Howard asked him if he wanted to see Jesse's boobs. Buzz said he has an imagination just like Howard does. Howard said he was quite taken with her. buzz said that she was at the Playboy mansion and he met her there. Howard sounded surprised by that. Buzz said that he went there on New Year's Eve. Howard asked if she wanted to see her boobs. Buzz said he came to talk to Howard so whatever happens... Jesse then took her top off for Buzz.
Howard said that this is what they fought for in Korea. Buzz agreed. He said they fought for freedom and liberty. Howard asked if Jesse is as hot as Gina Lollobrigida. Buzz asked Jesse if she ever comes out to L.A. She said she does but she lives in Oklahoma. Buzz has family out there so he'll be going out there for a birthday in June. Buzz said maybe they'll go to an air show together. Buzz gave her his card. Jesse said she didn't have a place to hold her cards right now.
Jesse said that Buzz said that he'd teach her the cha cha cha. Howard told Buzz he had better get out of there before he gets in trouble. Howard asked Jesse if she was going to take anything else off. Buzz asked her what her first name was. He found out it was Jesse and he said that's what her grandmother's name was.
Jesse took off her dress for Buzz. Howard said Buzz wouldn't need Viagra for that. Buzz told Howard he's right. Jesse said that she'd be his Viagra.
Howard told Buzz he'd better get out of there before he gets in trouble. Howard said Jesse should have been up on the moon with him. Buzz took off after that. Howard told him ''Sweet dreams Mr. Aldrin.''
Howard said Buzz's head was exploding over her. Jesse said that people are really cool with her. She said that all of the guys that hang out with her are cool. She said she's still married and they have an open relationship. She said she brings a lot of girls home with her. She said girls are so beautiful and she just wants to get into their pants.
Jesse said she gets civilians when she goes out in Oklahoma. Howard said it must be insane. Jesse told Howard that her son just found out that she was in Playboy. She said that this guy came up to her and asked for her autograph. She said she hasn't told her son about the porn thing yet. She said his friends are going to find out about it eventually and he's going to have to deal with it. Jesse said he has prepared him for it a little bit.
Howard asked how old the oldest guy is that she's been with. Jesse said that 42 or 43 is the oldest. Howard said that he checked out her web site (JesseJane.com) and saw some of the hot pictures she was in. Jesse said her web site was just made over and she's going to have some cool new features on there.
Howard asked Jesse if she's a millionaire. She said she's not but she's doing good. Jesse said she loves Oklahoma and she gets to travel a lot. She said she loves being centralized out there. Jesse said she loves on a lake and she can ride her dirt bikes and go karts out there when she's off. Jesse said she's making about 5-7 movies a year and she's doing really well with Digital Playground.
Howard said Jesse's movies have a plot and some acting in them too. He said she has a new one coming out called Fly Girls. Jesse talked about the movie and the acting she had to do in that. She said she had to pretend to cry and she was able to make tears come out.
Howard asked Jesse about the size of the dicks that these guys have in her porn movies because she's so small. She said she loves that. She said she likes to get fucked hard. Howard said that she really does get fucked hard too. He said she's fully shaven too. She said she's gotten it lasered off and she barely has anything left down there. Howard asked who does the work. She said that she has this really hot girl who does it.
Howard said Jesse has a new Stripper Pole coming out with her name on it. they had Jason dancing on it earlier and Robin said it was working for him. Jesse said that you can make it spin and they call it the Jesse Jane Party Pole. Howard asked Robin if she would do it. Robin said she can't imagine but she has heard that people put them in their houses. Howard said that Jason was out of breath after playing on the pole.
Jesse said that they're going to make a DVD that will come with the pole but she hasn't had time to do that yet. Jesse said that she had some construction done on her house and had some stuff expanded and her son didn't see the pole at first. She said that he actually knew what it was and asked her why she had a stripper pole in her room.
Howard asked Jesse about these parties she has with women she's met. She said that she has met them through the kid's soccer and things like that. She said she has had sex with a lot of women who are doing it for the first time with her. Jesse said she has outfits that they can dress up in and stuff like that. Howard asked what the move is to get them to have sex. Jesse told Howard how they just play around and all of the women know what she does so they are into what they're doing. She said she has to initiate though. She said they have vibrator parties and stuff too.
Howard said it must be hard to live in Oklahoma. Jesse said that you can't even buy porn in that state. She said that here are people who talk about her under their breath too.
Howard asked Jesse about some of her movies and found out that she does fisting. Howard asked her about that and she gave him some details about how she does that. Jesse talked about how she hasn't done anal on film yet but she and Riley Steele are talking about doing it together. She said she might do that this year. Howard asked Jesse if she's tried anal. She said she has but it's not her favorite thing to do.
Howard asked Jesse about this stripper pole and what people are supposed to do with it. Jesse said it's super fun to play with. She said that you'll find yourself loving it. Howard asked Jesse if she has a pool at her house. She does and she does huge cook outs and stuff. She said that the kids may look at her but she doesn't want to know if they are.
Howard said that the pole is available at DigitalPlaygroundStore.com. Jesse went over to the pole to demonstrate what to do on it. Robin said she was taking notes. Howard told Jesse she was delightful. He said he might have to get a pole for his house. Howard said they should have gotten Buzz on the pole with her.
Howard said time has not diminished Jesse's beauty. He gave her some more plugs. He asked if she had turned down $200,000 to have sex with a guy one time. Jesse said she did because she's not a hooker. Jesse said she knows girls who do that kind of thing but she didn't want to risk it. Jesse said you don't know what you're going to end up with if you do that kind of thing. Howard asked if it was David Letterman or Tiger Woods. Jesse laughed and said it wasn't them.
Howard took a call from Irish John who said he heard that she and Tommy Lee started banging in a VIP area at some club. She said that did happen. They were seeing each other at the time and she had a dress on with no panties so she just lifted her leg up and Tommy went at it. She said that they didn't stop them at all and they were all right there.
Howard heard that Jesse had her boobs done again. She said that she had to have it done because one guy did so much damage to her. She said this guy did a great job fixing her up. Jesse said this was her third boob job and she's very happy with this one. She said she had to do this for HD movies because it will show really bad.
Howard took some calls and one guy asked if she had ever had any Mexicans. She said she has. Another guy asked if she likes to be spanked. Jesse said she does like that. She likes rough sex and likes her hair pulled and to be choked too. Jesse said there's a way to choke someone out and do it the right way. She said some guys are too rough. Howard wrapped up with her a short time later. Howard said she's willing to talk about it all with them and she says it with great pleasure.
Howard asked if she hooks her doctor up after he does such a great job on her boobs. She said that she hasn't had sex with him but she has hooked him up with some of her hot friends.
Jesse told Howard that she's going to be at Starlets in Woodside this Friday and Saturday. She said she gives lap dances there. Howard said he heard that she gets 10 grand just to show up. She said she gets paid very well to do those appearances. She said it's $100 per song for the customers and it'll be a great lap dance. Howard asked if she does the Champagne room. Jesse said she doesn't do that. She prefers to have security near her and she'd rather not go into a private room.
Howard said Jesse is a lot of fun and she's some package. Howard gave her some more plugs and then wrapped up and went to break.
Howard came back and said he wanted to play a couple of things before the news. He said he had a lot going on this morning so far. Howard said he had something new from Sal and Richard. They took his Cousin Brucie impression and used it in a Jack and Rod Show bit. Jack and Rod are their alter-egos. Howard said they chopped up his Cousin Brucie and used it in their fake radio show with a guest.
In the clip Sal and Richard were talking to an author about his adventures in the Arctic. They told the guy they had Cousin Brucie in the studio with them. The guy said he was glad to hear Brucie again. They played clips of Howard doing his impression and had him barking over the author as he was trying to talk about his book. The guy was playing along with Howard when he trying to get everyone to say ''EEeee'' and woof like a dog. The guy did everything he was telling him to do. Then the guy hung up when he started talking about his cock.
Howard said that was great. Robin agreed. She said that they had the guy making those noises. Howard said he might have to do a whole show as Cousin Brucie. He said he'd have a heart attack though.
Howard said Sal and Richard also did something with his retarded person impression. they went back and made a movie trailer for his retarded character. Howard played that next. It as clips of him doing his retarded voice in a movie promo. Howard said that could be a reality some day if one of these dumb directors would recognize his talent. Howard said they wanted him to play a retarded prank call too but he wanted to move along.
Howard said he saw that Jesse James' girlfriend was on some show being interviewed. He said he hasn't heard any of it yet. Gary said she definitely likes to talk. Howard said he thinks she's coming in there soon. Howard played the clip of this Michelle ''Bombshell'' McGee talking about how she met Jesse James and how she was trying to get a job working with Jesse at his West Coast Choppers shop. Howard said he thought that Jesse just banged her right away. He didn't know he had put so much time into this relationship.
Michelle was talking about how she did know that he was married and how things got personal that night they met. Howard wondered what movies they were watching that night. She said that Jesse didn't want to discuss his marriage with her. She thought they were separated. She said he never brought Sandra up when he was with her.
Howard played more of the clip and McGee was apologizing to Sandra for what went on. She was saying that she didn't know what the relationship was really like. She didn't like that this all became public. Howard said she was all cleaned up for the air and they need her to get down and dirty for their show.
Howard said that Michelle is upset about her Nazi photo shoot. JD told Howard that her forehead tattoo is covered up by her bangs in that interview.
Howard played a clip of Michelle talking about how she got duped by Jesse James just like Sandra did. She said that she gets called a lot of names for what happened and it wasn't her fault. Michelle said that she shouldn't have done the Nazi photo shoot and it's hurting her that people are seeing that.
Howard asked if she was duped into doing that photo shoot too. Robin said it sounds like everything is a surprise to her. Howard wondered where she came up with these weird comments. He said that she has some 'splainin to do in there when she comes in.
Howard did an impression of Michelle making up excuses for him. Howard made up some stuff that she could say for him.
Howard said he had a meeting with Sandra one time and she was a very nice person. He said that she didn't have anyone in the room at the time. Howard said he got to sit in her trailer alone with her so that was kind of surprising.
Howard said that they're saying Sandra may go on George Lopez's show in November when Conan's show starts on TBS. Howard said he told Gary he wanted to write Sandra a note and asked him to get an address for her. He said that was two weeks ago and he still hasn't heard back.
Robin said she wanted to talk to someone too and there were many questions about why so she gave up. Howard said maybe they thought he was the Anna Nicole Howard Stern.
Robin told Howard that they make their own movies in that charity. Howard asked if they can do animation for Howard TV since he ponied up. Robin told Howard what the charity does and how they do the movie all by themselves. She said they work with a real director on their movies but that person is just a consultant.
Howard said Robin handed him an envelope the other day and he had no idea what it was. He asked Robin what the name of it was again. She said it's called Scenarios. Howard said Robin is very busy with all of these charities.
Howard said that David Brenner is going to be at Uncle Vinnie's in Staten Island on the 17th. He said he'd give David a plug for that. He said you can find out more at David's web site.
Howard asked Robin if she's going to find out how much he gave to that other charity. Robin said she probably will. Howard said he could get away with it if he didn't give anything then.
Howard asked Robin who she gave invitations to for this charity event. Robin said that she's being honored at this thing so people should come. Howard said that Mel was the one who did that. Howard said Robin should have bought the table. Robin said she probably will. Howard said he heard grumbling's from some people. He said he's not going.
Fred said he's not the grumbler. Robin said it had to be Ross Zapin who was grumbling. Robin said she knows it was Ross based on the reaction he had to her the other day when she told him she was being honored. Howard said the minimum donation is $500 a head at this thing. Ross would have to pony up $1,000. Howard said that he's not saying it was Ross though.
Howard said that he's all for this if it means that kids are going to be making movies. Robin said this charity is to help out more than just that. Howard said he likes it. He said he's not the one grumbling. He said he's happy.
Howard asked Robin if she's coming up with a speech. Robin said she hasn't yet but she's going to give a State of the Union type of speech. Howard came up with some stuff she could talk about in her speech. He was goofing on her doing that as Fred played the music she recorded down in Guatemala. Howard had Robin going on and on about all kinds of things in her speech. Robin mentioned that she might just read some of Yoko Ono's tweets instead.
Howard said he was supposed to be honored somewhere but there was no way he was going to make a speech. Robin said they sent Elephant Boy to accept an award one time. Howard asked if the kids from the card are going to be there. Robin said some of them may be there. Howard said he will donate but he's not going to show up.
Howard asked what directors have worked with the kids. Robin said Tom Fontana was one of them. Howard said that guy directed ''Oz'' and he's good.
Howard asked what the budgets are on the movies. Robin said it's a national thing so it takes a lot of money to run a contest like that. Howard asked if their money goes to the production of the movie. Robin said that it goes to the production of the movie and more.
Howard goofed on Robin making her speech some more. They played some of Yoko Ono and Trudy Styler's wacky speeches from years past. Howard did Robin's speech like theirs. Howard also played a speech that Oprah made one time that was really long and boring. Howard said at least she talks fast. He told Robin not to do the Trudy thing where she drags it out.
Howard had some Dave Lampert audio clips that he played. They had some song parodies that were made and the line ''Let the poison out'' has been making the rounds. He heard it on an E! news clip from the Daily 10. Howard played that real quick. Fred said he thought they had the Guatemalan music mixed in that clip too.
Howard said the charity thing sounds nice for Robin. He said that she's doing a lot more than any of the shlubs there. Howard said Steve isn't doing anything like that. Steve said he's not doing anything like Robin is. He said she's doing incredible stuff.
Steve said Robin has other charity events lined up too. He said she may be doing something in the Hamptons and something at Caroline's. Steve said she's got a lot of stuff going on. Howard said that is a lot. He said Robin is like an angel. Robin said you have to be pro active in this country and that's what she's doing.
Steve said they have an update about Scott DePace defending his trip to Las Vegas. He claims he hasn't golfed yet out there. Steve said that they also have an update about the radio host that Ronnie did a show with down in Austin, Dale Dudley. Lisa G will also be on TV today baking cookies.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down the list of things they had to talk about on today's show.
Steve Brandano also came in with his Intern Show preview. Steve said they're going to have Pete call in about this appearance this morning. They'll also talk about having David Arquette as an intern last week and a lot more.
Robin read a story about a lighting designer that was found dead wearing a rubber suit, gas mask and handcuffs. He may have died in a sexual act gone wrong. Robin said that he was found alone with his hands cuffed behind him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to comment on Dancing with the Stars. He said that he has something that they might want to try on the show. Howard didn't want to hear it so he hung up. He said it was taking forever for the guy to get to his point. Howard said he noticed something about American Idol. He said they just have to pick a song, sing it slow and the judges will love it. He said if you work with the band on the show it sounds horrible.
Robin mentioned that Kevin Eubanks is leaving the Tonight Show and the leader of the American Idol band is going to take over. Howard said he had a clip from the Tonight Show where Kevin announced he was leaving. Howard said they made a big deal out of it. Kevin was on as a guest and told Jay that he's leaving after 18 years. Howard said the guy didn't really contribute anything to the show. Jay was asking if he was going to stay in L.A. so Howard figured that was the first time he was talking to the guy. Howard said he wishes that he'd be honest and tell the truth about why he's leaving. Kevin was claiming he had other things he wanted to do but didn't give any specifics.
Howard goofed on Jay a little bit while he was playing that clip. He was also talking about how Stuttering John thought he was going to be best buddies with Jay but that never happened. Howard said that Jay threw John out of that announcing job and made him a writer as a mercy job.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about Steven Seagal having a press conference today about the charges that were filed against him claiming he was holding a woman as a sex slave.
Howard did a quick live commercial and then had Robin read some more news. Robin had some details about Tiger Woods and his wife Elin. Robin said that their marriage may be beyond repair according to a report. They may be filing for divorce according to a source.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he seemed a little rough on Conan yesterday. Howard said Conan was treated horribly and he wasn't being rough on him. Howard said he was being empathic with him. Robin said it was empathetic. Howard said he thinks that he's saying it right but Fred didn't think that was right. Howard said that's what his psychiatrist says. He said he also says masochist in an odd way. Fred told Howard that empathic was a word but Howard said that he'll go with empathetic.
The caller said that Conan is doing like what Howard did by going to a pay service. Howard said Conan didn't decide to do anything. That's all that wanted him and Conan didn't go out on his own like he did. He said it's not the same at all.
Robin read a story about a man who jumped from a 42nd floor room in a hotel and some baseball players saw it happen. Robin said they refused to talk about what they saw.
Robin read a story about a tow truck driver who saw a baby and a toddler in a car he was about to tow from a strip club parking lot. The father of the kids was in a strip club. The guy is being charged with child endangerment.
Robin said that Kitty Kelly's book about Oprah is coming out and she's wondering how popular it's going to be. Howard said it will probably be a best seller. Robin said she gets to talk to people who aren't close to Oprah's inner circle. Howard said he's had books written about him that are unauthorized. He said they're often full of shit. He said the people they get to interview are people who had nothing to do with his career but they think they did.
Robin said that there are some people who are upset with Oprah and one of them is the man who raised Oprah. He's upset with her and he apparently hates Gayle King. Howard said maybe he's taking out his anger on Gayle instead of Oprah.
Robin read a story about Simon Cowell leaving American Idol and said that randy Jackson has said he doesn't see anyone ever filling Simon's shoes. Howard said he thinks that he's right and he's probably the only one who could. Howard said he would probably never do it though. Howard spent a little time talking about the contestants on the show and how they have to start just performing by themselves without working with that awful karaoke band they have on Idol.
Howard took a call from Ivy Supersonic who said that they're running some Twitter bumper. She said that someone left her a message with a recording of her talking about her bloody pussy in a commercial. She said she's not even sure what it is. Ivy said that it was her voice and her pussy being talked about in the commercial. Ivy said that it's very interesting. Howard asked Gary if he knew anything about it. Gary said he didn't know what it was.
Ivy tried playing it on her phone. It was really bad quality but Gary said it was probably a news bumper or something. Ivy said she was flattered that they used a clip of her on the show. Gary said that it was a news bumper.
Ivy said that FOX finally offered her money to settle her case against them. She said that she might not take the money. She said it might only be 20 grand so she may not take it. Ivy asked them to go buy a t-shirt form her. She said she's really financially challenged. Howard had to let her go after she got in a plug for her web site FinanciallyChallenged.us.
Robin had some news about Ben Roethlisberger. She had some audio of Terry Bradshaw talking about what's going on with him and bad mouthing the guy. They spent a short time talking about that story.
Robin read about how Sarah Palin is making big money now that she's not the Governor. She has earned at least $12 million since leaving office. Howard said you'd think that people would just throw stuff at her. Robin read some of the details about what she's been making for her book and TV deals.
Robin read a story about a study that found that people who have no health insurance they delay going to the hospital and they get sicker. Robin said we need national health care.
Robin read that some people have put up some negative stuff in the home down of the Pope. Robin said they scrawled some words on the door of a home that he lived in over in Germany. Robin said people are upset about the sexual abuse claims that he turned a blind eye to.
Robin read about an earthquake in China that has killed 400 people. Robin read the details of that and said that it's going to be tough to reach the area where it happened because of the road conditions.
Robin read about last night's Dancing with the Stars and who was sent home. Howard said Kate Gosslin is a horrible dancer. He said the whole show is ridiculous. He said that this one chick from the Pussycat Dolls is a professional.
Robin read a story about Brett Michaels having an emergency appendectomy. She also said that Pam Anderson has some tax problems. Howard said he just heard from Pam the other night asking them to all vote for her. Howard said she wants the fans to vote for her. Howard said he wonders how she makes money. Howard said he can't imagine how she owes half a million in taxes. Howard said he's glad that he's able to earn and pay the taxes. He said his father told him to never worry about that because he's obviously making money. He said she must have earned some money but maybe she didn't pay taxes. He's not sure.
Robin read that Madonna is enrolling her daughter in a performing arts school. Howard said he hopes she's a better actress than Madonna. Howard said the kid is cute and she'll be some catch some day. Howard said you can see she's going to be hot when she grows up. Howard said she's going to be smoking hot by the time she's 18 and she'll have a ton of money when her mom drops dead. Howard figures that Lourdes isn't going to be stingy with the money. He said she's just going to use the money and not be an actress. He figures she'll be throwing parties for people and using up her mom's money. He said she'll be free with her body because her mom will have taught her that.
Robin also said that Billy Joel's daughter has a new Prell commercial coming out with her music in it. She wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:45am.
Gary said that he still loves that Yoko Ono ''People of Earth'' clip they played today. He said it was so pompous when she did it and it's still pompous today.
Jon asked Gary why Howard is such a fan of Buzz's. Gary said he saw Buzz wearing the NASA jacket and it was just cool seeing him in the studio. He said that it's great when they have a guest that they'd never expect to be on the show. He said when Howard asks him about getting a blow job it's even funnier. He said he loves that someone like that can come on and get the joke and still be funny. He said that's what Buzz was like.
Jon said that Buzz was telling some long stories but Howard let him tell them. Gary said that he was probably showing him his respect by doing that.
Benjy said he went to the senior Olympics and it was cool to see 90 year old guys competing in stuff. Gary asked why he was at the senior Olympics. Benjy said his father was in it.
Jon asked what the can was that Buzz was talking about. Gary said it was something that Perez Hilton had left there the last time he was on. He said they just never took it out.
Jon and Gary talked about how Buzz is known as the guy who was on the moon when there were many others who came after him and even Neil before him. They said that his name is out there.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Buzz was great on the show. He was also talking about how he's from Oklahoma like Jesse Jane is and he'd like to make her the official bird of the state. The caller said that this was Buzz's first time in the studio and he was really good on the show.
Another caller asked Gary if they have ever interviewed Neil Armstrong. Gary said he didn't believe so. The caller asked who is a bigger character, Neil or Buzz. Gary said he'd have either of them on the show. He said he'd even bump Buzz to have Neil on.
Benjy asked about a girl who was an intern and her father had been to the moon. Gary said that was Amy. They spent a minute on that.
Another caller said that Buzz is a big deal to guys his and Gary's age. He said that they were like explorers. The caller said that the first picture of the man on the moon was Buzz. He said Neil took the picture of him up there. The caller also said that the tech they have in their wrist watch is the same kind of tech they had back in the 70s.
Jon took some more calls and talked about the craziness of being an astronaut back when Buzz was doing it. They talked about how they didn't have the kind of tech they do now to protect them. One caller said that his father told him that one of the reasons they piked one guy to go up into space was because he didn't take a shit more than once every couple of days.
Jon brought up how taken Buzz was with Jesse Jane and played a clip from the show where Buzz got to see her boobs.
After that clip Jon said that Buzz was really taken with her. Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they buy into the theory that the moon landing was faked. He said he doesn't believe that himself. The guy said that the shadows weren't right and there is no atmosphere and the flag was waving. He said those were just a couple of things that he remembers. Gary said that there is an enormous crew at NASA that worked on it and it would be an impossible secret to keep. The guy said they could have kept that a secret for a long time. He said it seems feasible that they'd fabricate it.
Jason said he saw a documentary about the moon landing and they disproved the whole conspiracy theory. He said that they showed how the flag would move in a vacuum and things like that.
Jon asked Jason how he tested the stripper pole. Jason said he tired to do what other strippers do. He said he did the same thing that Jesse did. He said the pole was slippery though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Mythbusters did the moon landing thing. He said they proved that it all could have happened.
The guys were also talking about the conversation Howard had with Doug about his home life. Doug was there somewhere but he wasn't coming on the show to talk about this with them.
Another caller said that Howard was talking about Beth going out on business but she has left him alone for other reasons. Gary said he explained that during the show too.
The caller was asking about Howard always wanting to rip other people's relationships apart. Jason said he's heard that too but he usually rips people apart 100 times harder than he did with Doug today. He said he just wanted Doug to be honest about wanting to get out of the house for a couple of days.
Benjy said he didn't see the benefit of Doug going all the way to Austin to go to a strip club. He can go to strip clubs there in New York. Jason said he's heard stories about the strip clubs down south and the dances are great.
Doug showed up so the guys went over this with him. Jon asked Doug about his wife, Marlo, and how good she is with all of this. Doug said that she lets him breathe. He said that if he wants to go away for a night she almost never says no. He said that they're always together and they hardly spend any time away from each other. Doug said maybe Howard can't enjoy going out like he does. Jason said that Howard can go out if he wants to. He may not be able to go to some dive bar in Boston but he could probably arrange it if he wanted to.
Jon asked Doug if he regrets going down with Gange now. Doug said he totally odes. He said that he'd be goofing on someone just like they are if it was someone else.
Jon asked Doug about the trip to Tampa and how that all came up. Doug said that he didn't even want to go to the strip club down there. He said he was kind of forced into that. They had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said he would call them a mismatch. He said that Sarah is 6 feet tall and Pete is short. He said that she's very still and he's not. He said that Pete had a lot of ticking and noises going on today too. He said even Sarah said it was more than usual. There was a lot going on with him.
Gary said he doesn't think that they did this just for attention. He thinks that they actually like each other. Gary said that it would be a very elaborate rouse if it was fake. Gary said one of his favorite parts was when Pete said that people think that she might be a star fucker and he wondered who the star was. Jon said everyone had the same reaction to that. Jon said Pete does think he's a star. Gary said that even he doesn't have his own hat like Pete does.
Jon had a clip from the interview where Howard talked to Pete and Sarah about what Pete might do for a living some day and Pete said he's not a 9 to 5 kind of guy.
After the clip Jon asked Gary about the impression Pete did of him. Gary said he was laughing. He said when Howard does the impression it's kind of visual. He said he saw Fred do an impression of Goofy from Disney one time and he became the character. Gary said Howard sticks his teeth out and does the impression but he was doing that before they even had cameras in the studio so he's fully mocking him. He said he can't get mad at Sal when he does the impression of him. Jon asked Benjy if he gets annoyed when people mock him. Benjy said it doesn't bother him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Pete is like a built in vibrator with the shakes he has. Benjy said Sarah was actually saying the Tourettes don't come into play when they're alone.
Another caller said Pete should take advantage of his fame and get as much pussy as he can. He said Gary did that with his fame when he started out on the show. Gary said Pete has to take it slow. He said he can't just go from 0 to 60.
Another caller said he doesn't think that Pete even has Tourettes. Gary said he thinks he does. Jon said he doesn't think that Pete is faking that either.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he doesn't care for Pete that much but today it sounded like his head was going to explode. He was snorting and spitting and you could hear the snot coming out. He said it was a great interview and he thought it sounded good. Gary said it was interesting to see what it's like in the day of a 35 year old virgin. Benjy said he wasn't a virgin. He had one other woman... once.
JD came in so Jon asked him about how he has kind of struggled to get a girlfriend. JD said that he has trouble living on his own and he doesn't want to deal with anything else. Jon said that JD has something going on with another girl but he doesn't seem to want to talk about it. JD said he doesn't want people giving him shit but he's not going to talk about it just to shut them up.
Benjy mentioned something about JD not wanting to get married because some married people end up getting killed. That was a reference to another Wrap Up Show where JD brought that up. JD said he just likes to be private and he doesn't want to talk about this stuff on the air.
Benjy asked JD if he has seen the woman who gave him the blow job a month ago since that blow job. JD said that he hasn't seen her and there's this whole thing going on and that's why he doesn't want to get into it. JD said he would like to see her again and anything is a possibility.
Jon took a call from a guy who said they should do a dating game with JD and it would be a great thing for the show. Jon said the last date JD went on didn't go so well. The caller said that's why they have to get a regular girl to go on a date. JD said that wouldn't be his favorite thing in the world. Benjy said that Howard would probably do it. JD said he'd do it if it would make this caller happy.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked why Gary brought up Pete's smell in front of his girlfriend. Gary said that it was someone in management who took him to the side and told him about it. Gary said they were debating about whether or not to bring it up on the air. JD said Pete knew what he was getting into. Gary said he thought it was interesting and controversial. Benjy wanted to know who it was that said that. Gary said there isn't a lot of management there. Benjy figured it was Tim Sabean or Jared. Gary said it could have been either one of them and they were just trying to help Pete out.
Another caller said he thinks Pete is faking the Tourettes. JD said that he does have head shots so maybe he's overplaying or pushing it a little more. Gary asked if Pete playing imaginary cards in the hall is him over playing it. JD said he doesn't know.
Jon asked if JD thinks that Pete staring at him for 30 minutes is an act. JD said maybe not that but the repeating thing might be.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that it was wrong of Gary to bring up the stink thing up on thee air. He said he should have done it off the air. Gary said that's what the management person did with Pete. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about his opening theme song and how he needs to make a contemporary theme song. Robin said he might have to do a rap song.
Howard mentioned they have Ashley Dupre coming in today. He called her JD's girlfriend. He also talked about hearing JD talking about how he had a blow job from someone about a month ago. Howard wondered how complicated his life could be when JD said it was. Howard said JD was also saying that Medicated Pete's act might be a put on. Robin said if he can act that well he should be in Hollywood. Howard said that kid is so not an act. Robin said Pete is 35 and lives at home with his mom. That's no act.
Howard said he had a few things to get to this morning. He had a story about Larry King getting divorced again. This is supposed to be his 8th divorce according to the story but Howard thinks it's his 9th.
Howard read the article about Larry and what's going on with this divorce. They say that he had slept with his wife's sister. King denies that. Howard said there are other allegations about the wife being with another man too. Howard said that Larry is such a load that it's hard to believe anyone would be fighting over him. Howard said Larry really isn't handsome. He said he knows that because he's not a good looking man.
Howard said Larry filed for divorce from his wife Shawn. He said he looks at her and thinks she's deranged if she married Larry. Robin said she felt that way when she came in there.
Howard read more of the article about the divorce filings and they made the claims about Larry and Shawn's sister. They also talked about the rumors that Shawn was sleeping with some guy. Howard said they wanted Shawn to come in there to take a lie detector test about that and she never did come in. Howard read that Larry was trying to make his wife happier by giving her whole houses as gifts. Robin said that's crazy and it's like saying ''we're almost done.'' Howard said that's what Tiger Woods did with Elin too. They're saying that she's leaving him now too. That's what it says in the paper today.
Howard said he likes the sisters that Larry is supposedly banging. He said the sister was wearing a belly shirt and she's 47 years old. He said she looks pretty good too. Howard said Larry has some hot 50 year olds. He said they're in pretty good shape. Howard said Larry has his hands on his hips with his sans-a-belt jeans. He has a Cartier love bracelet on too. Howard said Larry must really love her or himself. Howard said those bracelets don't come off unless you have it taken off at a Cartier store. Howard said Beth wears one so maybe Larry is like a chick.
Howard read more of the Larry King article and said that Larry really is irrational. He said he's in a whole other universe when it comes to love. Howard read about some of the other women Larry has dated. He said he'd love to read a book about all of the women that have fucked Larry. Robin said that's what he could write a book about.
Howard said Larry had gotten married to Shawn in 1997 before Larry went under the knife for surgery. Howard said Larry is also trying to get custody of his kid from her. Howard put the word out that Larry is now single for those women out there looking to hook up with him.
Robin said that Howard isn't that fast answering his texts or BBMs. Howard said he sometimes doesn't even look at the phone for two days on the weekends. He said he gets angry with it because everyone is getting a hold of him.
Howard said he was on his way to work this morning and the email pissed him off. He said he wanted to be home writing a response.
Howard said he was listening to the replay of the show yesterday and heard the part where they were talking about Robin's charity event. He said it was pretty funny. Howard said Robin is being honored by this charity and what that means is that she has to get all of her friends to donate to the charity. Howard said there are people grumbling there about having to donate. Howard said Robin is like the lady in the neighborhood with the daughter selling Girl Scout Cookies. Howard said that you get scared into donating.
Howard said he thought Robin was letting him off the hook because she hadn't sent him anything about it. Then Robin was hitting up everyone there and now they're all afraid of her. He said they all have to donate to keep her happy. Howard said Robin says you don't have to give but he's going to give. He said he knows better. Howard said he doesn't think Robin cares that much about that charity and she only cares about being honored. Robin said she never goes around getting honored. Howard said this is a new thing for her.
Howard said Robin likes being honored but she said she doesn't. Robin said you don't have to give, this charity is just about learning and knowing something.
Howard said he has no desire to be honored by a charity like this. Robin said he doesn't have to. She said she doesn't really want it either but they offered. Howard said he appreciated not being bothered about this charity but then Robin walked up with the envelope and told him she wanted him to see what she was up to. He held off on opening it for two days. Then he opened it and saw some black kids on the card. He said that they were all standing there in a bunch and he thought it was kind of interesting. He said they had on big winter coats in the picture so he was glad they weren't naked Africans. Howard said some of them looked too well dressed. It turned out it was some sort of charity that Robin was involved with.
Howard said he would never give money to a charity where they make movies but Robin was the reason he did. Howard said he's going to work on a charity where he makes it possible for young Philippino kids to be wine sommeliers. Fred found that one pretty funny and laughed pretty hard at the comment.
Howard said Robin knows that her friends are the only ones who are going to pony up. He said that he's got guys coming up to him complaining and he doesn't want that anymore. He said he wants them to go to Robin directly.
Howard thought Gary was kind of freaked out by this thing. Gary came in and said he wasn't freaked out. He said he knows that this can be like for someone. Gary said they honored Ron Delzner for Life Beat and he set a new record for money raising. He said he became the benchmark for raising money and it later became all about trying to beat that record. Robin said that's not what she's all about so she won't be doing that.
Howard said that's what they want Robin to do though. Robin said they don't have anyone pushing for donations. Robin said there won't be any strong arming. Gary said he has to agree with Robin about the strong arming. He said that he's gotten those phone calls where they push you for donations. Gary said he was just asked to donate $10,000 to a charity. He's still working on college funds for his kids.
Howard said he knows that Robin has had donation lists put together by Jason before. Howard said he coughed up and gave to this charity. He said he hopes that there are some young Tyler Perry's out there. Gary asked what was up with that guy because he gets the worst ratings for his movies. Gary said they always make money though. Robin said they started out as traveling road shows and now they make them into movies for a very specific audience. He's one of those guys that dresses up like a fat black woman in his movies. Robin said they love that character, Madia, that he dressed up as.
Gary asked if Tyler Perry or Eddie Murphy's fat chick came first. Robin said she thinks that Tyler was doing it first on stage. Howard asked Fred who came up with it first. Fred said he'd have to check into it to see who came first. He looked up and found that the Nutty Professor was in 1996. He had to find out when Tyler Perry started doing his character.
Gary said he's read that Spike Lee hates Tyler's movies. Howard said of course he does. Howard found that Madia first appeared in 1998 in a movie. Robin said he had been on stage for a long time. Howard said that was the stage character.
Howard talked about the strawberries that Benjy eats every day. He said it's like he's eating too much and he's trying to lose weight. He said he's eating tremendous amounts of food like a horse would. Benjy said that the salad he eats is just 150 calories. He said that the strawberries aren't that many either. Robin said he eats a lot of volume though. Benjy said he knows he eats too much.
Howard said Benjy had salad on the Wrap Up Show yesterday too. Benjy said that was the one from the show. Howard said he knows what Benjy is doing and he's just eating too much. Howard said he had a salad last night when he went out to eat with his daughter. He said it was just a normal salad. Howard said the food he eats in there is enough for the whole day. He said he eats more when he leaves.
King of All Blacks called in and said that he had a contract made saying that his wife can't get married when he dies. He said he doesn't want her to be with anyone when he dies. Howard said that is the most selfish, retarded thing he has ever heard. He said that King is going to be dead so why would he care. Howard said she'll need a place to live and he's being selfish. King said he has seen people die and then the woman is laughing. Howard said that's her karma and let her laugh. King said he doesn't want that happening.
Howard asked King who he wants in his house if he doesn't want her in there with another man. King said no man wants their wife being with another man when they die. Robin said that would be thrown out of court. She said it can't be legal. King said it is though.
King mentioned that his son's hair is still good. He likes it to be straight and not kinky. He also mentioned one of the guys on American Idol who picks people up and squeezes them. Howard said that's Big Mike and it's like terrorism the way he picks people up and squeezes them. Howard said he had to get going and said goodbye to King.
Robin said that's a new low for King. She said that he made two dumb comments in that call. Howard said that was pretty low making his wife sign a paper saying that she can't have someone else in the house when he dies. Howard said he can imagine her having to move out because she found someone. Howard said King is nuts. He said he's not kidding around either.
Howard said Tiger's father was on his ass to be a good golfer his whole life. Howard said Tiger probably takes out all of his anger on his parents when he's banging all of these chicks he was with. Howard said his wife was caught in the crossfire.
Howard said Elin is so hot too. He said they had a picture of her wearing some fuck me shoes in the paper. Howard said he would learn to love that. Howard said he heard she has a shitty pre-nup and she made sure that she got some cash out of him after the cheating thing came out.
Howard said Elin is probably going to get a lot of money out of Tiger. She could end up with her own private jet. Howard said the real catch is going to be Madonna's daughter Lourdes. He mentioned that yesterday. Howard said she's the one to watch. Howard said Madonna is probably worth 300-500 million. Howard said she's only 13 but looks 25. He said she's hotter than her mom already. Howard said when she turns 18 it's going to be like ''whamo.''
Howard said that Lourdes got into that ''Fame'' school. He said that happened because they're probably going to get a donation from Madonna.
Gary said that they reported on that last night on FOX news. He said that they ran down there to interview the kids and it was a lot of gay boys. He said they were talking about how exciting it was going to be to have her there. Gary said the report was pretty funny.
Howard said that kid is going to be a catch. Gary said she's going there to learn acting, not even singing. Howard said the other catch is the Olsen twins. He said that he'd love to have the two of them in bed and have their money. Howard said Lourdes is majoring in acting but he'd be majoring in Lourdes.
That led to the guys talking about how nutty Yoko Ono is. Howard said that John Lennon really fucked his son Julian over when he died. Howard said he didn't leave him anything and he had nothing to do with him. Howard said Lennon's own mother left him when he was young and he did the same thing to his own son. Howard said he could have left the kid some money. Gary said he thinks they did give him some money to shut him up.
Howard read some of Yoko's tweets since Robin has been following her lately. Robin said she loves Yoko's tweets. Howard said maybe he should follow her too.
Howard read a few of the tweets and tried to figure out what the hell Yoko was talking about. Robin said she tires to figure them out too.
Howard said he has been shitting for 56 years and he's never made that kind of mess. Fred said that he was thinking it was someone aiming in a weird direction or something. Howard said if he took a crap like that he would clean it up. Robin said that's what she was thinking. Leaving that mess for someone else is heinous.
Howard said they have only 22 people who use the bathroom so they narrowed down the list of people who used it in this 6 hour time period. Howard said the list is fascinating. He said they can tell how many times a day people use the bathroom with the key card thing.
Howard said it's weird because Benjy was in the bathroom 3 times for the morning. Benjy said he drinks a lot of coffee. He said he only pees.
Gary said Ronnie was in there and he didn't see anything at that time. Gary said that Tracey found it at a certain time so it's between them.
Howard read that Chris Costa, Richard Christy, Benjy Bronk, Tim Sabean... and a lot of people think it's Tim. Howard said they think Tim is the kind of guy who would be shitting like that. Howard said that Costa was in there again, Will Murray twice in a row, Fred Norris, Gary Dell'Abate and then Tracey Millman. Gary swore on his life it wasn't him. Fred said he'd give a DNA test. Howard said he's all for that.
Benjy asked if Ronnie inspects the bathroom. Howard said he does. He said he asked him to do that. Fred said he asks the TV crew to come in and film it so they have proof it wasn't him. Howard said he thinks it's either Richard or Tim.
Richard came in and said he pees a lot. He said he doesn't shit back there. He said he and Sal go out to the other bathroom. Tim Sabean also came in and denied it being him. Tim said he checks before and after he's done to make sure no one is going to come after him. Tim said he was sick yesterday though and he had to go home. Howard said he must shit in that toilet. Tim said he does once in a while.
Fred said he thinks that it is Tim. He said Tim wanted that bathroom so badly and he wants to multitask in there. He said if he's on the phone and shitting then he's not going to notice that kind of thing. Howard said he thinks Fred could be right.
Doug Goodstein came in and Tim started tickling him like a little girl. Doug said that Chris Costa was in there twice and he let Ryan Phillippe in there. Howard said that they can't pin it on Ryan. He's not there all the time. Doug said that would be funny if it was him. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he heard that Scott DePace is back from his trip to Las Vegas. He said he must have learned a lot about new equipment out there. Robin said that he was out there to gather information for the company. Howard asked Scott if he was there. Howard said some guy called and told him that the NAB conference is where people go to get away from their bosses.
Scott came in and told Howard he learned a lot about 3D to graphics to new trends in the industry. Scott told Howard that everything in the studio is something he selected. He said he reads the trades but he has to go to this conference to see the equipment in person. He said it's huge and a great thing.
Howard asked if Letterman's director was out there. Scott said he bets that someone from CBS was there. He said he gambled for a total of an hour and a half. He said he spent a lot of time fostering relationships with people. He said he met with some people from a company that builds studios. He said he hung out with them and some people who do tracking cameras. He said he spent time with the Final Cut people.
Howard asked if Scott golfed. Scott said he didn't. Howard asked if they have any new equipment coming. He said they're looking at Adobe CS5 and a frame sync.
Gary said he thinks that Scott was mad at his crew for not knowing what he was out there for. Scott said he heard some third hand stuff and he was kind of pissed off at the guys. He said they're not going to run in there and defend him but they didn't have to put information out there that was wrong. He said they said that the only thing he ever bought from that convention was the tracking camera. He said that's just not true.
Gary asked if it was true that Joe Jordan was banned from talking on the mic again. Scott said he banned himself. Scott said he did yell at everyone because he was pissed. Scott said he was out there working. He said he got a call from Lisa G who said she heard that he was out there playing golf. Howard said he never said he was out there doing that.
Howard thanked Scott for his work out there in Vegas. He said he can't wait to see the new frame sync whatever that is. Scott said they can do 3D stuff now too if he wants. He said he learned a lot about that technology out there. Howard said none of the other shows had their director out there but they had theirs.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa mentioned that she saw Ashley Dupre on LX TV last night when she was there and she walked off the show pissed. Lisa said that she was pissed about the questions she had about her being a prostitute. Howard said he has to talk to her about that. He said that she's known for being a prostitute so she has to expect that kind of questioning.
Howard said that people can't expect others to get over that kind of thing as fast as they want them to. Howard said he was looking at Ashley's Playboy pictures and she really does have a nice vagina. Howard said they had a guy on the show, Jason Itzler, and he said it was nice. Howard said it's shown in the magazine and it really is beautiful. Howard said there isn't a bit of beef on there. Howard showed it to Lisa and asked if it was beautiful. Howard asked Robin and Lisa if they have hanging lips. Robin said her's looks like an orchid.
Fred said it looked like a coin slot to him. Fred said they have to have a little something down there. He said she looks like a Barbie that was hacked into with a hack saw. He said it wasn't attractive to him. Howard said he's sorry he got started with that.
Howard said he likes the neat and tidy look of Ashley's vagina. Lisa said it looked very child like. Howard said that's a good thing. He said he doesn't want to see any big labia hanging out. Howard said he saw that Ashley had some words tattooed on her too. He said that's kind of hot too. He said that would make it appear that it was going to be a good night if he saw that on his date.
Howard said he heard that what she has written in Latin means something like ''Fair Value, Teaching makes me Strong and Cash Only.'' He said it's really not clear. Robin said it means ''Fair Value'' according to Ashley.
Lisa said that Ashley was telling Donny Deutsch about how she didn't want to be questioned about the prostitute thing. Howard said he has to talk to her about that. He said she needs some training about how to answer those questions. Howard said that Donny is trying to make something interesting happen and you have to be prepared for things not to go your way.
Howard said the world hasn't moved on from the prostitution thing yet. He said she should answer the best she can. Gary said she was there actually.
Howard asked Lisa if she had anything else. Lisa said she hadn't even read any headline yet. Howard wanted to move on to Ashley though. Howard said he has to talk to her about this stuff.
Ashley said the tattoo on her belly means ''protection and power'' so they shouldn't believe everything they read. Howard said her vagina is very nice to him. He said he likes it when there are no beef curtains hanging down. Ashley thought that came from having kids. Howard said it's not always from that. He said he likes that it's tiny and not a huge, big, sloppy vagina. Howard said he likes it. Ashley was laughing nervously as Howard talked about that.
Howard told Ashley that her boobs look great too. He said they're amazing for a boob job. She said she got them when she was 18 originally. She said she had them made smaller and more natural looking. Howard said they looked good. Howard asked about the fur picture. She said that was faux fur.
Howard brought up the Donny Deutsch interview she did last night and asked what she was so upset about. Ashley said she has other things going on in her life and Donny was going on too much about the same thing. She said he was telling her that she had messed up enough households so she didn't need to keep ruining them. Howard said she could have talked to him about that without walking off. Howard said she walked off the show crying. She said she held it in until she walked off.
Howard said Ashley has to embrace this thing. He said she got on the cover of Playboy because she was a prostitute. Ashley said she has embraced it. Howard said she could have dealt with Donny better last night. He said she could have gotten in some plugs saying that stuff. Ashley said it just gets to a point where it's too much.
Howard asked Ashley why she did Playboy. She said it's the most successful men's magazine and she's in a magazine that's had a lot of other famous women in it. She said that she stayed at the Playboy mansion for a couple of weeks while that shoot was done. Howard asked what that was like. Ashley joked that there was some freaky shit going on. She said she was just kidding.
Ashley said she stayed there for two weeks but she really only had to stay there for one. Howard asked if they fed her. She said they did that and they have butlers and stuff there. She played in a Playboy golf tournament too. Ashley said she had guys telling her they were in love with her after meeting her for the first time.
Howard said he thinks that guys think she's good in bed because she was a professional. Howard said he thinks that when she does fall for a guy she's not going to be good in bed. Ashley said she loves sex though. Howard said that was her job so she's probably sick of it. Ashley told him he was crazy.
Howard said that when someone is paying you then you're inspired to give a great blow job. Ashley said she loves giving blow jobs. Gary said it must have been great sex with her because there were people willing to pay over and over to have her.
Howard asked Ashley if she has been with anyone sexually lately. She said she has. Howard asked if she holds back so she seems like a nice girl. Ashley said she doesn't have a lot of one night stands now. She said she had a lot when she was young. Howard asked Ashley who got in her pants. She said it was just some guy. She said that it was the first guy in a long time. Robin said JD wants to know what was so interesting about that guy.
Howard said JD has given up on her. Ashley said that JD is a really great guy. She went out with him a couple of times and JD shouldn't have let her know who he was. Ashley said he's a great person and she loves talking to him. She said he's just a good person.
Howard said JD brought her to Ryan Phillippe's house and that was a bad move. He said that was a crucial error. JD came in and Ashley said hi to him. JD said that she wasn't returning his calls or texts. She said ''Oh come on now.'' Ashley said that she always responds. JD said it's not always.
Howard showed JD the Playboy pictures and told him that he blew it. Ashley thought that he was a good guy for not wanting to see her pictures. She said he's a great friend. JD laughed. She said she likes JD the way he is too and he will find the right girl. Howard said he found the right girl but she rejected him. JD said she likes douche bags.
Howard asked Ashley if she was attracted to Ryan. She said he was cute. Howard asked if JD had brought her to a burn unit, would that have turned her on to him. Ashley laughed and said that wouldn't have worked. Howard asked if JD playing with chopsticks for an hour was a bad move. She said they had kid chopsticks at dinner. She said they had fun at dinner that night too. She said they were able to carry on a conversation. Howard asked if he said he loved her. She said he didn't do that.
Howard asked JD if he got to kiss her. JD said he didn't. JD said there was a moment when he could have done that when she was vulnerable but he didn't do it. Howard asked JD if he felt used by Ashley. He said he had said that to some people around there. JD said he didn't feel used. He said he would have almost rather had her just tell him instead of letting him hit on her. JD said it was almost like a steel trap friend thing.
Howard asked JD what he was talking about. JD said he ''knew the realistic of the situation...'' Howard said he loves listening to JD talk. He said that he's a great buy but he can't communicate. Ashley said she loves him too.
Howard told JD to just talk. JD said he knows how lucky he would be to have her. He said he knew she was out of his league and he knew he'd like her even more out there on this date. He said she's awesome and he never said he felt used. Howard said that she was up front with him and told him it was just a friend thing. JD said he wishes that none of it had happened at all because he really likes her. Howard asked if he wants her to get fat so she won't get guys. JD said she'd better not get fat.
Howard said JD sounds broken hearted. JD said that's not what it is. He said there aren't many hot chicks who are into the Jerky Boys. Ashley said that JD adores her and he's a great guy. Howard said he knows what's turning her off. He told JD he has to improve his attitude.
Howard said Ashley won't tell JD this but he has to fix his clothes. Ashley said she wanted to go shopping with him. She said he has a problem spending money on clothes though. JD said that's just not him. JD said he's not good at being anything else.
Howard asked if they have any contact now. Ashley said that he's not even calling her anymore. Robin said if he's in love he's not going to call because she's with other guys. JD said he heard that she kissed someone else and it bothered him. He said that other guy can go fuck himself.
Howard asked about the guy she was with and how long she waited to do it. She said she didn't want to talk about it in front of JD. Ashley said she didn't want to do that. JD told her to just do it. She told him to come sit next to her. JD was told to go to the couch to sit with her but Howard said that was just going to make it worse for him. JD walked out.
Howard asked Ashley about how Playboy worked with her when she was doing this shoot. Ashley told Howard how it all worked and how she was pinching her nipples to make them hard. She said that no one even cared while she was siting there naked. Howard asked if anyone was there jerking off while she was naked. She said it wasn't like that at all.
Howard said she's in the May 2010 issue of Playboy. She's also got her music on Myspace at Myspace.com/AshleyDupre
Howard read that Elliot Spitzer was having multiple escorts per day at times. He said that he read he had three girls one day and that's pretty insatiable. Ashley said that is a lot.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why she's tugging with JD's heart strings. Howard said JD is putting it out there and asking to hang out and Ashley just isn't into that. Howard said some guys think she might think she's too good for him. Howard said he has tried to talk to JD about upping his game. Ashley said she does want to hang out with him and do things but he's not into it. Robin said that JD is attached to the clothes he has.
JD came in and said that Ashley actually told him that his clothes were okay. He said he showed her pictures of his stuff. Howard asked JD if he would marry Ashley and if it would be just about the sex. JD said he likes her for her. He said he wouldn't be going after her if she wasn't nice. He said that if she was a cunt he wouldn't be going after her.
Howard said he didn't know that Ashley was in a relationship with a couple when she was 20. She thought she had talked about that last time she was there. Ashley said she was doing drugs back then and she was going to clubs and stuff and they all just hooked up. Ashley said she met some friends and the couple freaked out and they broke it off. Ashley said she was more into the girl than the guy anyway.
Howard said that must have been some scene. Ashley said they would hang out in the back of their car and do each other while the husband was driving. Howard said that's pretty hot. Howard asked the caller what he thought. He said it was hot too and Ashley thought he was jerking off.
Howard asked if they were out of control together. Ashley said that they would hang out and do all kinds of stuff. She said that she didn't do the husband that much. Ashley said she didn't fall in love with the woman but she did really like her. Howard asked if they all slept together. She said that they didn't do that but they would just pop into her room once in a while. Howard asked if the woman ever woke her up just going down on her. Ashley said no at first but then played Howard's game and said yes. The caller was moaning as he heard this stuff.
Howard asked if she got into the hooking thing around then. She said that came much later. Ashley said she wanted to be a third grade teacher but now she knows she can't do that. She said she can mentor kids though.
Another caller asked Ashley if she likes to be spanked. Ashley said she was spanked as a child and her brother had wooden spoons broken on his ass. The caller asked if she likes being spanked. She said she doesn't like that. Howard found out that she was disciplined as a child but wasn't kept in a cage or anything.
Ashley said that she has started a blog. She said it's Stiletto Suicide. Howard asked if she writes about JD. She said she will have to do that.
Robin asked what Ashley and Ryan's girlfriend were talking about that night JD was playing with chopsticks. Ashley said that chick was hot and she was a very nice person. She said that JD was talking to Ryan and staying busy. Howard said Ryan said JD spent hours working with the chopsticks. Howard asked what she and the girl were talking about. Ashley said they may have been talking about wine.
Howard said he told JD to just go over and talk to her and the girl. He didn't bother. Howard said he loves JD and he wishes that Ashley loved him. Ashley said she dos love him... as a friend. Howard told Ashley not to break down crying in interviews today. He said they are going to ask her about being a prostitute and she just has to deal with it. Howard said that guy Jason was right about her beautiful vagina. Ashley said that guy never saw it so she's not sure how he knew.
Howard took another call from a guy who said JD should be going out shopping with this chick. He told Howard to get him in there and straighten him out.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Donny Deutsch has balls talking about Ashley breaking families up when he did that himself last year. Ashley said she heard about that. She said that this is the kind of stuff she has to put up with in these interviews. Howard said he knows Donny and he wants to be famous so badly. He said he's trying to make it interesting and she just has to go with it. Ashley said she liked him before that interview.
Howard asked Ashley if she had any guys at the Playboy mansion. She said that she didn't. She said that Hef was really cool to her and he stays faithful with the girls he's with. Howard wished her luck with the magazine and asked if she's getting a little something for each magazine that's sold. Ashley said she doesn't but she did get paid. Howard asked if Hef let her play with his teeth. She didn't know what he meant. Howard said he keeps his teeth in a jar at night. Ashley just laughed. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he has to start watching this show ''Intervention.'' He said JD just turned him on to it. Robin said she can't watch depressing shows like that. Howard said she has a weird sense of humor. Howard said there was a clip where this kid starts yelling at his father during an intervention. The kid was having the intervention and he turned on his father when his father was talking to him about his problem. In the clip the kid said he had waited for 15 years for this moment. His father was never around so he was upset about him showing up at that point.
Howard said he would start laughing if he were in that intervention. He played more of the audio and the kid was saying he didn't even know who his father was anymore. He said he left him and his siblings without a father. The guy said he hated his father with a passion so deep it flows through his veins. Howard said the father gets upset soon too. The son was crying and talking to his dad about how he still loves him. Then the father breaks down crying really loud. Howard started laughing. Benjy was laughing too. Robin told them to stop that.
Howard let the clip play and the father and son were both crying. Howard played another clip where the host, Candy Finnegan, introduces herself to the group. There were some odd voices in the room with that one. Howard said he has to start watching that show.
Howard said he had a game for the caller to play even though he thought he was a bit of a douche. He said he had some things to play too. He said that Wendy the Retard called in and said that she knew what 9x6 was after Eric the Midget didn't know. She knew that one but then she called back and said that 9x7 was 67. She was calling Eric a dumb ass and a retard but she had just gotten that one wrong too.
Howard said that the fans liked his trailer to win an Academy Award for playing a retard. He played that clip real quick. After that Howard said they just have to make the movie now. He has the trailer all ready to go.
Howard play the Jack and Rod Show bit that Sal and Richard did using his Cousin Brucie audio clips. They took his Cousin Brucie impression and chopped it up so they could carry on a conversation with this author. Howard said he was impressed that the guy on the phone understood what he was saying.
Howard got to the game that he had to play with the caller. He had Mike the caller back on the line to play the High Pitch Eric game. Sal would ask Eric questions and the caller had to guess if he would get it right. Howard
The first question was ''How many people make up a Quartet?'' Mike said that Eric would not know the answer. Eric said ''Six.'' He was wrong.
The next question was ''Who gave America the Statue of Liberty?'' Mike said that he would not know. Eric said ''The U.S.'' Wrong again.
The third question was ''At what temperature does water freeze?'' The caller said Eric would know that one. Eric answered ''32 degrees Fahrenheit.'' He finally got one right and the caller won $500 cash and a new TiVo Premier.
Howard played the rest of the questions he had. The next question was '''What is 20 percent of 200 dollars?'' Eric said it was ''Two thousand.'' Next up was ''How many world wars have there been?'' Eric said ''There were three world wars.'' The next question was ''Pork comes from what animal?'' Eric said ''Pork comes from a cow.'' That was it for the questions.
Howard had the guys bring Lupe in since he was already talking about her. Lupe came in and Howard said she did look very young. She sounded very young too. She said she was very nervous. She was barely able to speak English. She told Howard he was ''so dirty'' but had to repeat it a couple of times so he understood.
Lupe said ''Hi baby'' and he understood that no problem. Howard said that he was nervous having her in there because he might go to jail. Howard said she's known as Little Lupe. Howard said she does look 12. He asked what year she was born. She said she's 20 years old. Howard asked what year she was born. She didn't have an answer. Howard said this was making him nervous. She said she was born in 1990. Howard did the math and figured out that she really was 20. Howard said he didn't want to go to jail.
Lupe said she was 20 and promised him she was. Howard said she has some little body. She had big boobs though. Howard said she was little bit had big boobs and they couldn't be real. She said they are real.
Howard asked Lupe where she grew up. She said she grew up in Madrid, Spain. Howard asked if she got into this to make a lot of money. She said that her pussy is like a machine to make money. Fred threw in Gary's ''Mac-hine'' clip while they were trying to figure out what she was saying. /she sounded like she was saying ''mateen''
Howard asked Lupe about this guy who got in trouble for looking at her web site. Lupe said some guy contacted her on Myspace and it was that guy's lawyer. She said that he was going to get 25 years in jail if she didn't help. She had to go to Puerto Rico for the court case. She said she told them that she was 20 to help the guy out. She said they showed her videos in the court room. It was like a porno party in there. She said it was crazy.
Howard said the man spent 2 months in prison awaiting trial. Howard asked if he thanked her for showing up. She said he did. Lupe said that they let him free that day. Howard said she did something good that day. Howard said he would give money to that cause so black kids could make movies.
Howard said Little Lupe came up with a web site to make money. Lupe said that she can't do it for free. Howard said they charge on the web site. Lupe said her web site is ILoveLupe.com. She said that she's on there with other girls too. Howard asked if she has a pretty vagina. She said she does. Howard said Ashley Dupre has a pretty vagina too. Howard asked what a beautiful vagina is. She said that it's small, soft and so tight like a virgin.
Howard asked if her parents are mad at her for what she does. She said they know about it and they love her. She said they don't like what she does but they're happy if she's happy.
Howard asked where she lives and found out she's living with Evan Seinfeld who used to be with Tera Patrick. Howard asked if she was this hot in school and if she stated having sex when she was young. She said she stated when she was 13. She said the first thing she did was suck a cock. Lupe said that her friends told her that she was crazy. The boy was 15.
Howard asked Lupe why he's never heard of her before. She said that she's really big so she's not sure why. Lupe said she did her first web site at 18. She said she had a lot of traffic and it was huge on the web. She said that she isn't a millionaire but she thinks she will be. Howard said maybe she'll be like Jenna Jameson some day.
Howard said Lupe once had sex on an airplane in the open. She said she loves doing crazy stuff like that. Lupe said she got caught doing that. She said they called the police on her. Lupe said she got really hot and horny and she started touching her pussy and his cock and thought people didn't see what she was doing. She said they started fucking really slow and figured they didn't know what they were doing. Lupe said when the plane landed in Austin the police were called. She said she ran away and they didn't get arrested.
Howard had Lupe dance for them real quick. She showed them how she dances and then Howard said that she'd be perfect for Eric the Midget. Howard said he might have to hook her up with him.
Howard said that Lupe lost her virginity on the floor of a dirty bathroom at a gas station. Lupe likes having sex like that. Howard asked who she's banging in Hollywood. She said she hasn't banged any famous people. Howard asked if Leonardo DiCaprio was one of them. She said that she has met him and he's crazy and always drunk.
Howard picked up the phone and said he had George Takei on the line. The guys in the back were playing Takei audio clips of him speaking Spanish and moaning. Howard said that guy has some voice. He asked Lupe if she was getting turned on. She asked who that guy was. Howard told her it was the guy from Star Trek. Lupe just said ''Oh, okay.''
Howard asked Lupe if she has met any celebrities other than Leonardo. She said she met Kid Rock. She said she didn't sleep with him. She said that he's a dirty guy and he likes to fuck but she didn't do him. Howard asked if she ever blew George Clooney. She said she met him but she didn't blow him. Howard asked if she ever met Ryan Phillippe. She said she didn't meet him either.
Howard asked Lupe why she hates Gypsies and Arabs. She said she doesn't like the Gypsies because they steal and don't work. She didn't have much of a reason to hate the Arabs though. She said she just doesn't like them.
Howard asked Lupe how she met Evan. She said she met him on Myspace. Howard asked what they should do with the Gypsies. She said they should kill them but then said she was just kidding.
Howard said that Lupe has a Fleshlight out. Howard asked what that is. She said it's her pussy in a thing that looks like a flashlight. She said that it has both the front and the back. She had one with her so she demonstrated how it works. She said Howard can cum inside of it. Lupe told Howard they had to put wax in her butt to make a mould of it for this thing. Howard said that her butt hole was too big for his tiny penis.
The guys called in with some Tracey Morgan audio clips next. They had him talking dirty to Lupe for a couple of minutes.
Howard asked Lupe if she has anal sex and has doody come out on the penis. She said she does anal but she doesn't eat for like two days before.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was an Arab Gypsy. He said he was with Lupe and he had mud on his turtle. Another caller said they hit the mother load with this chick. He said that they have to stay on the air and keep her in there. He said they have a decade worth of prank calls with her audio clips.
Howard asked Lupe how many men she's been with in her life. Lupe said she hasn't been with that many. She said that she's almost a virgin.
Howard had Hate Man audio clips on the phone next. They had Hate Man cursing her out and telling her what he wanted to do to her. Lupe didn't know they were just audio clips.
Howard said Lupe is only 4'9'' tall. She weighs 77 pounds and looks like she's 12. Howard said she's really 20 so it's okay to look at her pictures.
Gary said he thought that Lupe wanted to ride the Sybian. She said she didn't even know what it was. Howard told her what it was and told her that she can get the poison out. Gary said she has actually used one in one of her videos but she didn't recognize it. Gary told her that if she does it she might get more visitors to her site. Lupe asked Howard what he wanted. Howard said she can do what she wants.
Howard had Leon Spinks on the phone next. They played clips of Leon mumbling and saying stuff that was really hard to understand.
Gary said he spoke to Evan and he said it was okay to sit on the Sybian. Howard asked if she wanted to do it or not. She said she would. Howard told her to go sit on it and see if she had a good time. Lupe got up and went over to it. Howard said she really does look like a kid. He said he has to do this for the Howard TV fans.
Will was asking if she should get naked. Howard said it was creepy because she looks so young. Howard said it kind of scares him. Lupe said she was going to get naked after they talked her into it.
Howard gave Lupe some more plugs and then had her get on the Sybian. She got on and Gary started her out slow. Lupe was laughing and said that she was feeling something. Howard had Gary jack it up to 50 percent. Howard told her to let the poison out. They also played some of the Dave Lampert clips where he was telling Raven Alexis what to do. They had him telling her to go ahead and cum and to let the poison out. She finished in no time. She said she has had up to 22 orgasms in a day before.
Howard came back and Robin mentioned that one of the guys from Type O Negative died of heart failure. Robin said his name was Peter Steel. He was only 48. Howard said they were on his album playing with Ozzy. Howard said they were on the show and the guy took out his penis for Robin. Howard wondered why kids on American Idol don't rock out like that. Robin said they do pop music on that show.
Howard asked who got eliminated last night. Gary told Howard who they were. He said there was a young girl and a Puerto Rican kid.
Howard said there's only one good performer on that show. He said that Bowersox kid is the good one. Howard said that he can't imagine that show will last without Simon next year.
Howard got Mike Walker on the phone to play his Gossip game. He spent a few minutes talking to Mike about how long he's been with the Enquirer. Mike said it's almost 40 years now. He said he was the only person who has been there since the day he walked in the door. Howard said he was there when it was just alien stories.
Howard said there aren't many guys who can last that long in that business. He asked how many people he has working for him. Mike said he has 6. Howard asked how many people call in a good story. Mike said there are guys who call and call and they have a lot of tips that work out even though they don't seem like they will.
Howard asked where Sandra Bullock is now. Mike said she's staying with a guy friend of her's. Howard said he would love to have friends like that who want to hide out in his house. Howard said he'd love to comfort someone like that.
Howard had Mike get to his game so here's how it goes. Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard said there was a story about Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy's divorce and how there was no pre-nup. Howard said that this was in Star Magazine and Jim paid Jenny $5 million a year for each year she was with him. Howard said she had better be sticking her tongue up his ass for that kind of money. Howard read some more details about that story and said that Jenny got $25 million out of that relationship. Howard said Robin would suck his balls and put them in a tea spoon for that kind of money.
Howard said he'll be drunk and reading all of that stuff tonight. He said that they have pictures of Pierce Brosnan's wife in one of the mags. He said it looks like Pierce has been gaining a few pounds. He read that Whitney Houston is a mess again too.
Gary said that they came to him with the list for Best of the Week and Tila wasn't on the list. He said they weren't sure if they should put it on or not. Gary said they put it back in but then Jason came in and asked if they really wanted to rerun it. Gary said they should rerun it so people can make their own decision.
Ralph said that Tila was honest and told some good stories. Howard said he's gotten a lot of negative mail about her. Howard said that he's going to have to say no to putting her on Best of the Week. Howard told Gary to take it out. Ralph said she'll never be heard from again.
Fred said Warren Beatty was a bad interview. Howard said Tila came on and spoke about her life but Warren Beatty didn't.
Howard had a clip of Whitney Houston singing so he played that. Whitney sounded awful. Howard said they should play a track behind her or something. He said she really sounded bad. These days you don't even see a live concert with the technology they have. Howard replayed the Whitney clip and laughed.
Howard did some singing and turned on the Autotune. That knocked him off the air for a few seconds. Howard said Whitney needs Autotune. He said that was a great piece of tape.
Howard asked Robin where she was going this weekend. Robin said she's going to Las Vegas to see that Beatles show. Howard said he wasn't sure if he'd fly that far just to see it. Fred said it's worth it to see. Howard said he saw it but he was out there for a week. Robin is going for 2 days.
Howard said he really hates flying. He said it's hard to grow up and act like an adult. Howard said he has to fly out with Beth to California. He said he really doesn't want to do that.
Howard said he's not going to give money to that charity if there are white kids making movies. Robin said the charity is for underprivileged kids. It's not a black and white thing.
Howard mentioned that the kids in that charity envelope were dressed better than him. He said that's something they may want to look into. Howard said he'd like to see some of the kids branch out into radio too. Howard said they should have the kids dressed in a fat suit like Tyler Perry. He said that's what he would do. Howard said he'd make the fat chick like 5 times fatter than Tyler's character.
Steve read some more of the stuff they have about Robin's charity. They weren't getting anything on the record from Robin about some of the stuff they were asking about.
Steve said that the creator of RobinsWrong.com has come out and offered to donate money to Robin's charity if she's willing to avoid saying ''I was just going to say... '' for a week;
Steve said they have an update about Lonnie from Rick's Cabaret saying that they love Gary and they have something for him coming up this summer.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. After running down his list of subjects for today's show Howard got Mutt from Superfan Roundtable on the phone... but it turned out to be Ralph. Ralph said he wanted to talk about Robin and how she's finally topped herself with this charity.
Mutt was on the phone next and said that they're going to be talking about Little Lupe and all of the other great guests they had on the show this week. They will talk about Buzz Aldrin and Jesse Jane and guests like that. Mutt said they'll talk about Tila Tequila, Robin's charities, Pete, JD and the ladies and more. Superfan Roundtable is on tonight at 7 on Howard 101. Howard asked Mutt if they think that Tila should be on Best of the Week. Mutt said no. He said he didn't hate her ahead of time like Gary said so many people did. He said he was just annoyed with her and it's not because he has a small dick, because he doesn't.
Robin read some news about the Catholic church. Howard said he thinks that all Catholic's should refuse to donate to the church until the Pope resigns. Robin said she thinks he's right about that. Robin read some more details about that story.
Robin had a story about adoptions between the U.S. and Russia being put on hold. Robin said that a child was sent back to Russia after adopting him. She sent him back by himself. Robin said that you don't just sent a child back by himself to a stranger. Howard said the kid must have been a handful. Robin said that the two countries have to come to an agreement about adoption procedures before they'll allow anymore. Howard said Robin needs to do a fact finding mission over there to see what's going on in the orphanages.
Jeff the Drunk called in and thanked Howard for another great week of radio. Howard said it sounded like he was reading a statement. Howard said that meant more to him than even Robin's honoring does to her. Howard took that as a compliment. Jeff told Howard to have a good weekend. Howard asked him what his favorite moment was of the week. He said he thinks that Lupe took it. Howard said he may have to do this every week to find out what his favorite moment of the week was.
Robin read a story about a family that has been fighting for years to get rid of bees from their house in Houston. Robin said they couldn't afford an exterminator. They had thousands of bees living in the house and they've probably been in there for 10 years. Robin said they were quoted a price of $450 and they didn't have the money to get rid of it. Robin said she saw some pictures of bees taking over the house and the amount of honey that came out was amazing. That led to Howard playing a prank call Sal and Richard made to an exterminator asking them how to get rid of them. They were pretending they were being attacked. Robin said they pulled out 200 pounds of honey from that house.
Robin read a story about a porn magazine that's out for blind people. Howard said he saw that and it looked pretty cool. Robin said that Playboy is going to do a brail thing for their magazine but there wasn't anything for pictures. Howard said he knew a guy who thought he bought the book but it turned out to be his lamp.
Robin read some news about Elliot Spitzer and how much he was spending on prostitutes. Robin said he called for hookers 3 different times in one day at one point. Howard said he doesn't look so bad now that Tiger Woods and Jesse James came out with their sex scandals. Howard said Spitzer should have stayed in office.
Howard asked Fred if this whole thing has changed his views on Jesse James. Fred said that he shouldn't have married Sandra but this doesn't change his views on his bikes.
Robin read a story about Lady Gaga. Howard said he saw a fat, 5 year old kid singing one of her songs and it's the funniest thing. He said it's on the web somewhere. Howard said Lady Gaga looks good when she has all of those masks and stuff on. Robin said that Lady Gaga is apparently telling her fans that a life of celibacy is the right thing for them. Fred played some of Lady Gaga's song ''Bad Romance'' and Howard heard an instrument that he thought was kind of funny. He wondered who the guy is that plays that. Fred said there probably isn't one live musician in that song.
Howard said he thinks that Lady Gaga is on to something and she's going to be like Madonna some day. He said that she looks sexy in her videos and she's doing right with those videos. Howard said her video ''Telephone'' is pretty sexy. He said they have a lot of lesbian action going on in that video. Robin said she claims to be celibate. Howard said that's great. Robin said that's the way she's avoiding STDs and things like that. Robin said that she says heavy petting is fine for some but some people don't even masturbate.
Robin read a story about an 8 year old kid who had 60 bags of heroin in school. They found 18 empty bags in the school trash. Howard said maybe he got it from his parents. Robin said that some of the kids admitted they came into contact with the drugs but none of them admitted to taking it. Howard said that kid is a bad ass. He said Sandra Bullock should date him.
Robin read a story about law changes some people want for kids sending nude pictures on their phones. Howard wondered what stupid kid would send nude pictures over their phone. Robin said that's the issue, kids are stupid. Robin said they say that kids can be charged with a felony and be marked as registered sex offenders for the rest of their lives if they do this. Howard asked Robin to send him a nude picture from Las Vegas this weekend.
Robin said that the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, has a chess team that won the 2010 college chess championship in Texas. It's their 6th win in 10 years. Howard said they have a world open on Friday. He said that's the big pros playing and he'll be watching it on his computer.
Robin read some more details about this Steven Seagal case that's in the news. She said that they held a press conference saying that they're suspending the production of his TV show while this suit is going on. She had some audio of a guy talking about the case and how they're going to be treating it very seriously.
Howard said he doesn't believe that Steven Seagal would do something like that. Robin said she thinks that he's a very bizarre man. She said she thinks that he could be capable of anything. Howard said it seems kind of far fetched even for Steven Seagal.
Robin had a story about Sarah Palin making some demands for an event she's appearing at. She has requested that she have a private jet, unopened water with bendable straws. Howard said that doesn't sound so bad to him. Howard said he thought she was just ''plain folks'' though. Robin said she's apparently not.
Robin read a story about the iPad and how they're delaying the product in Europe for a month because the demand is so high in the U.S. Howard said he heard that's a spin and they just didn't produce enough and production is slow. Robin said they have sold over 500,000 so far. Howard said he doesn't think he needs one but Ralph thinks he does. Robin said she thinks she might get one. She said that she would use it for movies. Howard asked how long the battery is supposed to last. Fred said they say it's supposed to last 10 hours. He said he has a laptop that only lasts like an hour when it's supposed to last like 3 or 4. Beth has the same problem. Robin said that was a problem for her too. Howard said he can't believe the iPad would last 10 hours. He said that has to be bullshit.
Robin read a story about Mel Gibson breaking up with his girlfriend. Howard said he just had a baby with her. Robin said the kid is 5 months old. While they were talking about that Fred was playing some Lupe audio drops that the guys had pulled.
Ralph called in and said that his iPad battery is amazing. He said it lasts really long. Howard asked how long it will last without being plugged in. Ralph said he has had it about a week and he's only charged it like 4 or 5 times. He said he had it on for 8 hours straight for a couple of days and it was on the whole time.
Ralph said he does email, Twitter, he watches ABC TV shows, Netflix movies and a bunch of other stuff on the thing. He said it's amazing. Howard asked if he has to let the battery run all the way down. Ralph said you should do that once in a while but you don't have to do it all the time. Ralph said the battery lasts longer than 10 hours and it's amazing. Howard thanked him for the update and let him go.
Robin read a story about Larry King divorcing again. Howard said he can't believe that. He said the guy is nuts. Howard said he thinks that it's actually the 9th time. Robin said he did marry one wife twice so maybe they don't count that one as two. Robin said that Larry is 76 years old. He also doesn't want to pay spousal support. Robin wondered why he thinks she should get out of that without paying. Howard said that's because he's Larry King and he's been married 8 times.
Robin read a story about the NAB convention that Scott DePace went to. She said they had a 3D TV display there. Robin said they have started to broadcast some sporting events in 3D. Robin said Comcast carried the Masters in 3D and other things will be covered in 3D as well. Howard said he's not sure why Scott is worried about 3D when they haven't even started broadcasting in HD yet on Howard TV.
Robin read some news about some guys who disguised themselves as sheep to break out of prison. Robin said they were able to blend in with farm flocks to avoid being caught.
Robin read some news about a volcano erupting in Iceland causing flight delays in some of Europe. The ash from the volcano has caused flights to be canceled. Howard spent a few minutes talking about what an awful name ''Iceland'' is for a country. He said it's not very inviting.
Robin read a story about the Polish President dying and they think that the final order to land the plane in heavy fog was given by the Polish President himself.
Robin read about a new movie that's coming out and had some audio of Martin Lawrence talking about working with Chris Rock in ''Death at a Funeral.'' There was also some audio of Tracy Morgan talking about the movie. Howard didn't have any idea what he was talking about. He said he loves that guy. Robin said there's also a movie coming out called ''The Losers.'' She said that Jason Patrick is back to do that movie. Howard said the name of his band is The Losers too. Robin had audio of Jason but Howard had no interest in listening.
Robin had some audio of David Duchovny talking about his HBO series ''Californication.'' Howard let that play through. Duchovny was talking about how much he enjoys doing that show. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 10:55am.
Jon said if the news department wants to come down and talk about it then they can do that. Benjy said that Brad Driver, the news director, told him that they didn't have to prove that he was lying to call him a liar.
Scott DePace came in and said that Benjy did claim that he was related to that person and he couldn't talk about that person. Benjy said he never said that.
Gary said that Benjy insinuated that he was related to that person and he was insinuating it was his grandfather. Scott asked him who this guy is to him. Benjy said he didn't have to say anything to him. He was yelling at everyone.
Jon said that he's going to ask Jason to go through the logs and find the tape of Benjy talking about this person. Gary said that a lot of the talk goes on behind the scenes. He said he's pretty sure that Benjy has said to him he was related to that person. Will Murray said that he definitely did that back at K-Rock.
Benjy said that there was one person who made a big deal out of this whole thing and that person isn't there anymore. Gary said that person didn't get fired, they quit. He wasn't sure who Benjy was even talking about though. It may have been Jackie but Benjy said he didn't want to talk about it anymore. Jon asked the news guys to come in but they were too busy to get back there. They were short a person today.
Jon moved on to talk to DePace about going out to Vegas and coming back yelling at his staff. Scott said he found out that one of his guys told Howard that he had only ever gotten one thing for the studio. He said that Joe Jordan did that and it just wasn't true. He said that he was disappointed that his crew didn't realize what he did out there. He said he has selected all of the equipment they use in Howard's studio.
Brad Driver came in to talk about Benjy. Jon asked Brad what was going on with that whole thing. Brad said Benjy did ask for a retraction. Brad said they did take some stuff off the web site but they have multiple people saying that he did make this claim. Benjy was going off on Brad yelling at him and saying he didn't have to tell anyone why he doesn't want to discuss something and they have no right to call him a liar.
Benjy asked Brad what his proof is that he is pulling a scam. Brad said that they spoke to Detlev Bronk's son and he said that Benjy is not related. That's all they needed to run the story. Benjy was yelling and Brad said this is why Benjy is a genius.
Gary said that he thinks that Benjy did say that he was related to this person and if he's denying that now, then he's a liar. Benjy said he never said that. He said that he can look at the logs and they'll find that he never said anything.
Brad said this is Benjy's genius because he's like Andy Kaufman with this stuff. He said he never lets anything go. Benjy said they have to have proof that he lied before they can call him a liar.
Will asked Benjy if they proved he was lying about his age. Benjy said that even if that is true, that doesn't make everything he says not true. He said that he's not lying about everything but that's what Brad is saying.
Benjy was getting louder and louder and more and more angry. He was saying that he never said that he couldn't talk about Detlev Bronk but he would suggest that he not. Brad said Benjy is a genius. He had to get out of there. Will said he's either a genius or an asshole.
Benjy said that he thinks the news department should have higher standards for when they call someone a liar.
Gary said that Scott was attacking him today about the tech they had back at K-Rock. Gary said they had a lot of old stuff but they had people who would come in and demonstrate stuff for them.
Scott said Gary isn't the guy for tech stuff and back at K-rock it was because of a lack of people not knowing what they could be doing. Gary said it was a lack of a budget over there.
Scott said he goes out there to find out about this stuff. He said they have the option to buy more stuff but right now with Howard's contract ending they might not be buying anything new.
Jon asked about his staff and if he wants them to fear him. Scott said he wants them to respect him. If they don't respect him then they will fear him. Scott said he doesn't want the guys putting up notes about his professionalism. He said that's just not right.
Joe Jordan came in and said that he was the one who said that he's not going to say anything else about Scott. He said that he did explain to Scott why he said what he said. He said that he told them that he knew that Scott had bought the tracking system out there and that was it. He said they may have misinterpreted that as being the only thing he had ever bought.
Gary said that if Joe had said he had done nothing out there it may have been worse. Joe said that's true. Scott said that they left out the other 2,000 pieces of equipment he has purchased.
Will asked what Scott is going to buy. Scott mentioned the things he mentioned earlier in the morning. He said that it might be less than other years since it is a contract year.
Jon said that Jason was pointing out some stuff about the trip too. He said that he was saying that Howard may have been upset that Scott was gone and they had to pay someone else to direct the show. Scott said he understands that because they have such a small crew there. He said that he is the guy and he should be there to direct.
Jason came in and asked Scott why he was getting so defensive. He said that everyone in the studio can't stand Scott when he gets like this. Scott said he doesn't care. He said if they can't handle it then fuck 'em. Jason said that Scott treats those guys wrong and if Gary was like that he can't imagine what a nightmare it would be.
Gary said that there is some fear back there and he may not even know that. Jason said that Scott has said that he wants his guys to fear him before. Scott said he has never said that. He said that's ridiculous. Scott ended up picking Jason apart for the way he was saying eating as ''e'an.''
Scott said he was pissed when he heard that Joe said that the only thing he had ever done was the tracking camera. Joe said that's not what he said though. Gary said he owes him an apology if that's the case. Scott said if that is inaccurate then he's sorry. He said that they apparently haven't seen what he has bought there from the conventions in the past.
Will said that Joe was doing that to bust Scott's balls. He said Joe told him that to get at Scott. Joe said that he may have been wrong about the tracking camera and what he paid for it and all of that.
Jason pointed out that their first tracking camera wasn't allowed to be used. He said that back at K-Rock it sat in one spot. Scott said they had errors that they had to improve on and they have proof that they did use it.
Jason told Scott that he should have listened to the tape before going off on Joe. Scot said he can't believe that Jason's wife married him. Joe apologized for what he did. Will told him he shouldn't do that. He said that they're busting balls there. That's what they do on this show.
Scott went off on Will too. He said that he doesn't want to have his balls busted when he's doing a good job. Everyone gave him a big ''Wah!'' for that.
Doug Goodstein came in and said that Scott really knows a lot about the tech for the TV show and for radio too. He said that he could step in and do that job.
Jon said that at least Doug appreciates Scott. Scott said he knows that and he appreciates that. He said that Howard appreciates him too. Scott repeated that he was upset that the guys that he works with every day don't know how much he does.
Jon asked Gary if Scott is overreacting to this. Gary said he probably is and he may have lashed out at a couple of people he didn't need to. Doug said he warned Scott not to go into that studio angry because it wasn't going to help. Doug said he went in angry anyway and now he's even more angry. They had to go to break after that.
Benjy said he saw the interview that she did with Donny Deutsch and he didn't think it was that bad. JD said he saw it and she just didn't want to talk about the stuff he was asking her about. They didn't think he was really attacking her.
Jon played a clip from when JD came in to talk to Ashley and he wasn't able to get out his thoughts. After that clip JD said he really sounds like an idiot. Gary thought he was going to pull the clip where JD said that Ashley wasn't a cunt.
Jon asked JD if she knew how into her he was. JD said she knew. He said she would play it off whenever he'd bring something up that was flirty.
Jon said Robin and Howard said JD might be broken hearted but JD said that wasn't the case. JD said he's not depressed about it. He said he hasn't texted her in like a month or so. Will said if he had banged her then it would have made it much worse.
Benjy said he thinks that he could have handled the pain of banging her. JD said she told him not to change but he's still not up to her standards or something. JD said she's not going to fall for him if he comes in wearing a Gucci suit or something.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that JD may have dodged a bullet with this chick. He said it would be tough to keep up with her with Ashley's career going the way it is. He said she's going to be all over the place banging other dudes. He said that's not what JD wants on his mind all the time. JD said maybe he'd be allowed to bang other girls, he doesn't know.
Jon asked JD if he was upset that she did Playboy. JD said he wasn't and it was good for her. JD said that's fine with him. Jon said he feels that JD is hurt and he hates to see him hurt. JD said he's fine. He said he's just going to move on.
Benjy said he thinks that JD could still get her in the long run. He said that she never led him on like some of the guys think she did. JD said she didn't lead him on, he's right about that.
Will said he thinks that Ashley wasn't going to have sex with him so he's not sure why JD kept trying. He said that she should have told JD that he should have used that $5,000 trip on someone else. JD said he told Ashley that he knew that if they went out it would be bad for him because he was going to fall for her more. JD said he tired it out anyway.
Jon asked JD when the moment was that he wanted to go in for the kiss. JD said she was kind of drunk the night they were at Ryan's house and they were just sitting there talking. JD gave up on that explanation and said ''Whatever... who knows...''
Jon took a call from a guy who said that JD should try a little harder to get this chick. He said he's not even trying. JD said even if he had revamped his look it's not going to change her view of him. He said she's not going to bang him if he has a suit on and contacts in. Gary said some of those things do make a difference for people. JD said if something that simple is what's going to make the difference then fuck her.
JD said he sent pictures of his clothes to Ashley and she said they were fine for that night. JD said he must not be that smooth. Will told him not to play her game and don't be a douche bag.
The guys talked about some of the stuff that Lupe was talking about like her hate for Gypsies. Gary asked if that's even a race. Benjy said that's debatable.
Jon had Teddy play a clip of Lupe's appearance when Howard was talking to her in Spanish and asking her where she grew up and things like that. That's where she said her pussy was like a ''mateen'' (Machine) to make money.
Gary said that they were all busting out their third grade Spanish when they heard her talking. Jon said Lupe looks very young and Howard kept asking if she was really 20. When she got on the Sybian she didn't recognize it even though she had been on one before. Gary said their's is on legs so maybe she didn't recognize it because of that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has to defend JD on the suit thing. He said him wearing a suit isn't going to make or break the relationship now that they've already met. Gary said he agrees because you do have to impress early on. JD said he doesn't like posing as something he's not. JD said he doesn't want to wear a suit and he only has one anyway. Shuli said JD is comfortable in jeans and a shirt.
Will said he thinks that Ashley could have thrown him a bone and banged him because he's better looking than Elliot Spitzer. He said it wouldn't have been the end of the world if she had. Jon said they all love JD. Will said he'd even make out with him. They had to end the show after that.
Best of the Week was over around 11:40am.