|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show talking about watching Oprah and Jay Leno last week. He said he's way into this whole thing with Jay and Conan. He said Oprah did a good job with the Leno interview. He said that she let Jay talk and he just came off so badly. Robin said that the people in the press were talking about his contradictory answers.
Howard said his father called him during the show and talked about what a weasel he seemed to be on that show. Howard said his father isn't even that judgmental and he could see it.
Howard said Jay is a wealthy man and when you have money like that you don't have to put up with a lot of shit. NBC had basically fired the guy from the Tonight Show. NBC went to Jay and put him on at 10 and then everything kind of fell apart. Then they asked Jay if he would go back to doing a show at 11:30 and Jay claims he asked if Conan was okay with that. When Conan wasn't okay with that Jay didn't just leave, he took the job anyway. Howard said this shows that Jay Leno is a ''desperate clinging fuck nut'' who won't leave. He said that Jay acts shocked that people don't like it. Howard said Jay could have gone anywhere but he insists on staying at NBC. He fucked over his pal Conan O'Brien by doing that. Robin said Jay fucked over David Letterman for the Tonight Show too.
Howard said Jay was talking about all of the people he has working for him on the Tonight Show and Oprah was asking him why he had to stay. Jay claims it's all of the people that he had working for him but he didn't say a thing about Conan's people. Howard said Jay could have gone to another network with his people if he wanted to.
Howard said he went on Oprah's web site and watched some of her fans talking about what Jay had to say and basically calling him a douche. He said she was saying he was the villain. There were others saying that they didn't think he was doing anything wrong.
Howard said during the interview with Oprah Jay said that Jimmy Kimmel had sucker punched him when he appeared on the 10 at 10 thing. He said that Jimmy kind of razzed Jay on the show and then Jimmy went on and gave it to Jay. He had some audio of that to play.
Howard played the audio of Jimmy Kimmel responding to Jay saying that he sucker punched him. Jimmy was talking about what really happened. Jimmy says that Jay called him after he did an impression of Jay on his show one night. Jay asked him to be on his show to do the 10 at 10 thing. Jimmy said that they had the questions before hand and none of them had anything to do with the late night wars. Jimmy said all of the questions were about other stuff so he suggested they bring up what was going on in late night. Jimmy said he wanted to beat that to death even though the producer didn't want to. Jimmy said he didn't want to look like a jerk on that show talking about the junk food he likes. Jimmy said that Jay is the one who sucker punched him when he went on Oprah and told her that he was sucker punched.
Howard did his impression of Jay and said he really does talk that way with the high voice and then the low voice. Howard talked about the way Jay was lying on that show and how he was contradicting himself the whole time.
Howard played some clips from the show where Oprah and Jay were talking. Jay was talking about the sucker punch from Jimmy and how he had walked into it and kept it on the show even though he could have cut it out.
Jay also talked about how he lives off the money from his stand-up gigs instead of spending the money from his Tonight Show gig. Howard played that audio and goofed on Jay some more. Jay talked about how he saves all of the money from the TV show and doesn't spend it. Howard said that's bullshit and he came off so poorly on that show.
Howard said he has a bunch of clips to play and it was all infuriating to him. He said the guy isn't even human. He played another clip where Jay was talking about the way he does his jokes and doesn't do them in a disrespectful way like some other comedians do. Oprah asked him about the way other people joke about him and then he fires back at the others. They played a clip of Jay joking about David Letterman after Dave had goofed on him. Jay said he did just one joke like that. He got a cheap shot out because he had one cheap shot taken at him.
Howard said he loves this. He said that Jay goes into a long explanation about how he should take the Tonight Show from Conan because it's a numbers game. Howard said Jay should have taught NBC a lesson by leaving the network instead of staying there. He said he's not sure why Jay wants to be a part of that whole thing. He said they fired the guy and he stayed there.
Howard said that they were treated like shit at NBC and they would never have gone back there if they were asked. He said he didn't even have money to back him up. He had zero dollars and there is no way he would have gone back. Howard said he would have said ''fuck you'' to them if they asked him to come back. Howard said Jay Leno will suck the cock of NBC all day and night to keep his job there. The guy is insanely motivated to be there.
Howard said that Oprah asked Jay if he called Conan and Jay said he was going to let some time pass before he did that. Howard played another clip where Jay was talking about how he never thought they'd ask him to go back to the Tonight Show. Oprah asked him if he ever thought about taking away Conan's dream. Jay said this was an affiliate decision. Jay said it was the first time in the history of the Tonight Show that it was going to lose money. That's what it came down to according to Jay. He said NBC wouldn't have asked him to take it back if Conan hadn't refused to move the show back a half hour.
Howard said that's bullshit again. He said that Jay pushed Conan out of the job. He played another clip where Jay and Oprah were talking about her retirement too. Jay said that they're going to go down together and they'll retire at the same time. Oprah said that's just not true. Oprah told Jay that she's done after 25 years and that's that. Jay said he doesn't believe that.
In another clip Oprah asked Jay if he was upset about Conan's disappointment. Jay said it had nothing to do with him. Jay said that if you're not doing the numbers then you just move on. Howard said Jay was doing the numbers and NBC still asked him to leave. Howard said this was pretty fascinating stuff. Robin said it was and it's amazing to see how his mind works.
In another clip Jay was talking about how he's been portrayed as a good guy until this whole thing happened. Jay thinks it's unfair and he's going to work on rehabilitating the image. Jay said he hopes he'll be able to do that with the Tonight Show. Jay said that he'd like Conan to be able to get a job and maybe he'll get his butt kicked by Conan.
Howard said that Jay was going back on his word and he came off as a weasel on the show. He was saying that if Conan was okay with it then he was okay with it but if he wasn't okay with it then he's not okay with it.
Howard played another clip where Jay was giving the logistics of what happened with the shows being canceled and changed around. Howard said if Jay had any integrity he would have left after being fired from his job twice. NBC fired him from the Tonight Show and from that 10 o'clock show. Howard said Jay will bend over for any man on the plant and take the shiv up his ass. That's the kind of weasel he is and he's been saying that for years.
Howard played a clip from a news program where they said they'd like to see Howard Stern interview Jay. Howard said he'd like to interview Jay.
Howard said he had a few more clips to play. He asked Robin if she was still interested. Robin was still interested so Howard played some more.
In one clip Oprah said that she thinks that people don't understand how TV works and asked Jay to explain. She said that people think that he stole the show but that's not the case. Howard said the thing is that he's taking the job back from Conan even though he said he was only going to do it if Conan was okay with it. Conan wasn't okay with it and he still took the job.
In the clip Jay was talking about how he was going to do his best to keep the Tonight Show number one while he was waiting for Conan to take over. He said he thought about taking another job but he didn't end up leaving. Howard said it was so stupid. He said Jay is such a dick wad.
Jay was talking about how they were number one up to the day they left. Jay said that they had him leave anyway. Howard said he should have left the network after that then. Jay told Oprah that he wanted to keep things smooth at NBC so they came up with the 10 o'clock show idea. He said that came up in the fall of 2008 and they thought the show would work. Jay asked if he could keep his same staff since he had 175 people working for him. NBC was okay with that. He said he had been there since 1984 in some way so he wanted to stay there.
Howard said Jay is a douche bag beyond all. He said he was proud of Jimmy Kimmel for calling him out the way he did.
Howard read about some more of the clips he had. He found another one to play. In that clip Jay was asked if his ego was bruised by the low ratings his 10 o'clock show got. Jay said he felt bad for the affiliates. He said they're the ones who canceled them and he's sorry that they let them down. Jay said that they were making money for the network but not for the affiliates. Oprah said that Jay going into prime time took away jobs from thousands of people. Jay said they were right about that and he admits to that.
Howard said he loved Oprah's interview with him and he thinks that she did a good job. Howard said he's jumping around with the clips but she was asking him about everything. Howard said Jay really should have been a man and left NBC when they fired him the first time.
Howard said Jay gets big pay checks so he can believe he's not spending the Tonight Show money. He said the guy doesn't have any kids or anything to spend the money on.
The caller talked about Rosie O'Donnell too. That led to Howard talking about Rosie being on Craig Ferguson's show and they were really nice to him. Howard said they were making him blush the way they were talking about him on that show. He said he's not used to that.
Howard said Rosie was also on Oprah's show and Oprah cut Rosie off when she wanted to plug her show. He said Oprah should be on board a little more because she's got her own channel on there. He said they pay her like 50 million a year and she should be on the team helping support it.
The caller also asked them to play a song parody about John Denver that they had played years ago. It didn't sound familiar to Fred or Howard though. Howard had to hang up on the guy because he kept talking over them. Howard wondered why it seems people can't hear them when they're on the phone.
Howard said he had to play the clip of Rosie and Craig Ferguson. He said that the Kings of Leon also gave him a shout out on the Grammy's last night. Howard said they want to come on the show but they don't get up this early.
Howard played the audio of one of the guys from the band talking about him on the red carpet at the Grammy's. The guy said he listens to a lot of Howard Stern and not so much music. The interviewer sent them on their way shortly after the Howard mention.
Howard said he was glad to read that Chelsea Handler broke up with that shithead Ted Harbert. Howard said he might be an even bigger weasel than Jay Leno. He said that was a tough choice. Howard said Ted had a gifted life and his father got him a job at ABC. Robin convinced Howard that Jay was a bigger weasel. Howard said she's probably right about that.
Howard said Ted told him that they loved him on E! but then they got rid of his show. Howard said the guy is a shithead. He said that he and his agent were shocked about what he was saying to them the day he came over to talk about that. He said he really didn't care though. He said at some point you just give up on caring and that's why he's surprised that Jay didn't leave NBC.
Howard said Jay claims he called the affiliate board and apologized to them for failing at 10pm. He said Jay is a suck ass. He said that the head of the affiliates board has probably never gotten a call in his life. He imagined what that call must have been like. He did an impression of Jay making that call. He said that he'll take it in the ass from anyone. Howard said they should line up the NBC pages and let them stick their dick's in his ass. He said Jay is like the prison bitch. He said that he'll take any chance to fuck someone over too. that's what he did to Conan. Howard said ''I hate Jay... I hate Jay.''
Howard talked about how NBC fucked over Letterman and Letterman was a man and left the network. If he had stayed there and took it like Jay did we'd all think he was a bitch too. He said that he had the balls to leave the network. So did Conan. Robin said everyone mans up but Jay. Howard said Jay should wear a dress on his first show back and just take it in the ass.
Robin said that Jay is like the guy in Deliverance who has to squeal like a pig. Fred played that audio clip while they were talking about that. Howard said Letterman might fuck around but at least it's with women. He said Letterman is a real man. He goes out and fucks right in the driveway. He said he loves Letterman. Howard said Jay fucks in the driveway too but unfortunately it's the car he's fucking. Howard did an impression of what that might sound like. He had him fucking a Mercedes, a Studebaker and a Stanley Steamer. Howard had Jay telling his wife to pretend she was a car as he was fucking her. Fred played some horn honking sounds as they were doing that. Howard said the guy just takes it in the ass. He said he'll go along with anything NBC tells him to do. Howard said he thinks he's gotten that out of his system now.
Howard read the article he had about the incident. He read that he's 78 years old and said that the guy has to calm down. Howard read about how he didn't know he was even in a bank when they found him in there. Howard said the guy is like Otis the drunk.
Gary told Howard about an audio clip he had from a 2004 arrest of Rip Torn. Howard played that clip and they had audio of Rip telling the cops they were all going to jail. He was arguing and being belligerent with the cops.
Howard cut the clip off and said ''whatever'' and got back to the article he had. Howard said they're saying that Rip has cut back on how much he drinks but he's still drinking. Howard said he was arrested in 2004 for smashing into a taxi while allegedly drunk but he got off of those charges. Howard said that the story sounds pretty funny. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he heard hat Robin was putting on some show for the TV guys dancing to the song. Robin said she was just enjoying the music. Howard said she should have been a go-go dancer. Robin said she continues to work even while doing that. Howard said they should put that on Howard TV. He said it's very uninhibited. She's very fluid even for her age.
Howard said that was the Kings of Leon. He said that he should have Lisa G come in first with her news and then he'd get to some Grammy clips.
Lisa G came in and said that they were on hand for Gary's appearance on Geraldo at Large last night. Howard said he heard that Gary looked horrible on the show. Lisa said he looked fantastic to her. Howard said he thought Gary looked good too. Lisa said he's lost 30 pounds.
Howard said Gary is into these gadgets and Geraldo had him in to talk about the new iPad and the Sony reader. Howard asked what's better. He wondered who is buying that reader anyway. He said he was reading about the way these devices are causing cancer and how guys shouldn't keep phones in their pockets and stuff. Howard said he uses speaker phone on the cell so it's not hear his head. He said he can't imagine reading a book on a Kindle or something. He said he doesn't want that shit on his lap.
Howard said he'd like to cut down on the amount of time on his computer. He doesn't want more time with a computer. Howard said he never even carries his lap top around with him. Lisa said he might like the iPad. Howard said it's in your lap all the time so no he wouldn't.
Howard asked how Gary did on Geraldo. Lisa said he did good. Howard wondered what Gary knows about any of this stuff. Gary said he knows as much as anyone else does. He said that Geraldo wanted to talk about the iPad and Avatar. Gary twas giving Howard some information about the iPad and it was all wrong. He was telling Howard how much it costs and how much memory you can get. He said he only had 4 minutes to talk to Geraldo so he couldn't do all that many things.
Howard said that he was watching that Kathie Lee and Hoda doing a gadget segment and the guy can't get to anything because the women are talking to much.
Howard said he saw Lisa G on channel 11 and he wanted to take the people and strangle them because they were talking over her. He said Lisa had to rush through her whole thing. He said they were talking about anything but the cooking.
Howard said he had a clip of a cooking guy telling Kathie Lee to shut up. JD said that clip was from a while ago and he found it on the web. Howard played the clip and the cook was trying to explain what he was doing but the women wouldn't shut up so he asked them to please be quiet. Kathie Lee gave him a hard time after that. Howard said that if Kathie listened to the tape of that she'd hear the guy losing it. He said that she's rude as can be and she's a hog on the camera. He said she's very un-Christian like. He said she wants to gobble up the world that hungry cunt.
Howard said that this poor bastard was trying to get out one word and he wasn't able to get it out. He was being suffocated by those Yentas. He said he's probably never been back on the show since then. Howard said they should have given the guy a chance to speak. Howard said Kathie Lee is so hungry for attention that it irritates him.
Howard replayed that clip and said he's never liked Kathie Lee. He said he's trying to mend fences with people but he could never do that with her. He said he's had it with her. Robin asked how she got back on TV. Howard said that NBC has done it. He played the clip again where the guy asked if he could please talk and asked them to pay attention for just one minute. The guy knew that it was his last time being on the show after that comment. Howard said the guy was just sticking up for himself. He said he should have shoved some of that food in her mouth to shut her up. He said that's what he would have done. Howard said back in Roosevelt they taught you how to shut up.
Howard went off on Kathie Lee for a couple of minutes. He said they should play that clip on this show every day. He said they should give that man an award for talking to Kathie Lee like that. He said that you can't hear a word the poor guy was trying to say before he told them to shut up. Howard said when you go on TV you have a lot of angst and it's not easy. He said he blames Kathie Lee and that poor Hoda probably can't get a word in either. He said that they keep interrupting each other though.
Howard said whenever Beth does TV she said that she doesn't talk during her appearances because people are always talking over each other. Howard said that's what she said about The View when she was on. He said it's like they have Tourette's.
Howard played the clip again where the cook went off on Kathie Lee and Hoda telling them to please let him talk. Howard said it's like having Scott Greenstein in the room with you. He did an impression of what that's like too. He did some barking and Fred played some dog barking sounds.
Howard played a clip of what it would sound like if they all spoke over each other on the show. He had a ton of clips all playing over each other.
Howard said he was all worked up and upset now. He said that guy Sam was great on the show. Howard told Lisa to get in touch with that guy and interview him for the news. Benjy said that they had him back on the show to talk about etiquette. He's not sure if he's been back on for a cooking segment. Lisa remembered the etiquette segment and she seems to remember him not being able to get a word in then either.
Howard played some audio from The View where all of the women were talking over each other. Howard said he didn't edit that one either. They were all talking over each other and no one could be understood. Howard said he can't believe that show gets any ratings sounding like that. Howard said he can't take it.
Lisa said that she also has more about Gary and how he's going to be doing Techno Beaver for Howard TV starting in March. They have an outfit for him and all.
Lisa said they're still looking into the poop on the floor in the bathroom. Howard said that the Bleeding Deacons have a song about Robin because they figured it was her. Howard said the song was a good take on the whole thing. It was a parody about ''Mystery Shit on the Floor'' and their theory was that it was Robin's because it smelled like coffee. Robin said that wasn't nearly true. She said it's not even close to being true. Howard seemed to like the song. Robin said that has to stop because people are going to think that it was fact.
Lisa said that they spoke to a doctor who thinks that the person who did it may have some sphincter issue from anal play. She said it's possible the poop just fell out. She said they talked about how a healthy anus should wink when tested. Robin said she's never heard of that. Howard said he hadn't either.
Lisa read a story about the woman who cleansed Joan Rivers apartment of ghosts. She said the woman didn't say how much she charges for that but they did talk about the things they did to get rid of the ghost.
Howard spent a little more time talking about the Kathie Lee clip and how lame that was that the spoke over the guy and then had him come back for etiquette lessons when it wasn't even the guy's fault. Howard goofed on Kathie Lee some more after that.
Gary said that JD had the clip of the etiquette expert talking to this chef Sam. Howard played the clip where they talked about Sam the cooking guy causing a stir there on the Today Show. They said they had to bring in the etiquette expert to help them out with that whole thing. They said that Sam was the rude one. The etiquette expert explained that some of the responsibility was on the host's side. Kathie Lee told her to hold it and said that there are no rules for the hosts. The etiquette expert said that they have to make their guest feel welcome but the guest has to be respectful. The chef said that he didn't do anything different than if he was with his friends or family. He ended up sucking the cow's tits when he apologized to them for what he did.
Howard said he hates that fucking bitch Kathie Lee. He said that he should have brought them a muzzle with a ball gag. Robin said that would have been funny.
Howard played more of the audio and Sam gave Kathie Lee and Hoda a gift and they joked about it having come from Walmart. Howard said they were talking over him again in this segment. The chef asked for a group hug but Kathie Lee said no.
Howard said Kathie Lee has got major attitude. Robin said he couldn't have been back on after that. He said that she should be giving Frank Gifford a hard time over what he did, not this guy. He said that the guy was saying that it was important to him that day he was trying to get his information out. Howard said the cackling Yentas don't put any effort into that show. He said they prepare everything for her and she just cackles over it all. He said she really aggravates him.
Howard took a call from a doctor who was saying that Kathie Lee may have a borderline personality and she has to talk about herself all the time. She was telling Howard what that means and how hard something like that is to treat.
Gary told Howard he found the clip of Lisa G on the morning show being talked over. Howard wasn't sure it was going to be the right one but Gary convinced him to play it. Howard played the clip and the hosts were talking over Lisa the whole time she was trying to explain how to bake cookies. Lisa would explain what to do and the hosts would just talk over her through the whole thing. They were asking her about what's going on with Howard and things like that during the cooking segment. Howard said it was all very confusing. He said it went from bad to worse but he wasn't sure how long they could hang in there with that clip.
The caller told Howard about some other birth control things that he could try but Howard said he's going to stick to the condom. He said he has no problem with that. Howard said he doesn't want to have a kid and neither does Beth. Howard said he and Beth both enjoy their sex life. The caller said he never uses one and the other day he did and it felt like washing the dishes.
Howard said he doesn't want more kids so that's why he's doing that. The caller said he should get snipped then. Howard said he doesn't want to do that. He said he doesn't want to use pills or anything like that. Howard said he doesn't have a problem using a condom but people seem to think it should bother him. The caller said it's amazing it doesn't bother him.
the caller asked if they've ever had David Sedaris on the show. Howard said he doesn't know who the guy is. The caller said they should have him on because he has some great books. Howard said he doesn't even read.
Howard said he actually is reading Charlie Murphy's book (The Making of a Stand-Up Guy) and it's really good.
Howard brought up Robert Schimmel's appearance on the show last week and how Steve Martin had written to him about how great the appearance was even though it was so heart wrenching. Howard said he heard from Howie Mandel about it too. Howard said he heard that Gary was told that he's had offers for liver transplants and they may have helped save Bob's life in a weird way.
Howard let the caller go and said that Bob may get a sliver of a liver from a live person and that might help the guy out. He said he had to take a break a short time later.
Howard came back and talked about Lady Gaga performing with Elton John last night on the Grammy Awards. Howard said they had a black guy introduce her last night and he was doing some weird ''gaga'' talk when he did that.
Howard said he only saw some of the Grammy stuff. He said he liked Lady Gaga with Elton John. He said he had to play some clips from the show but he had some other stuff to play as well.
Howard said he read that an aircraft had just landed on the NJ Turnpike. He said that was a bulletin he just got. He read that quick story and said they must have had to shut down the highway. He read that they were handling traffic reports for some stations in the Philly area. Howard said they might have to stop with that. He said if you go up every day you're going to run out of luck at some point. He said the stations cheap out too so you never know what you're getting into.
Howard said that Rush Limbaugh accidentally said shit on the air. He played the audio of that. In the clip Rush was trying to say ''ship'' but said ''shit'' instead. Howard said that he agrees with Rush about what he was talking about though. He said that everyone is running away from this health care bill even the people who were all for it. Howard said he does hope that Rush is fined for that ''shit'' slip though.
Howard said he wants to talk about this Rex Ryan guy and how he flipped the bird to some fans while he was out on his own personal time. He said that the NFL fined him like $250,000 for that even though he wasn't at an NFL event. Howard said the guy might have just been having some fun with them and they fine him? He said it's like indentured slavery. He wondered what the hell the NFL is doing. Howard said he found that weird.
Benjy told Howard that they haven't fined him yet. They say that he did get fined at a game for giving the finger. Gary said that they're saying that they're going to fine him for this too.
Howard said he's still upset about the applauding at the Obama speech last week. He said that it's like a soccer game with different teams. He said that the republican's were refusing to applaud and the democrats were going overboard. He said it becomes like a soccer match but this is government where they're supposed to be working together on this stuff. He said the country is in a financial crisis right now and they have to work together.
Robin said the President has been trying to work with both sides and bring politicians back into order. Howard said he applauds him for doing that.
Howard said he had to say something about the supreme court too. He said they had a chance to change something that's horrible in this society. He said the corporations are allowed to donate to campaigns and they have millions of dollars to buy votes. Howard said the Supreme Court got to rule on allowing them to donate and they ruled in favor of it. Howard wasn't sure what the vote was but the guys told him it was 5-4. Howard said he's not even sure who voted in which way. Gary gave him some information on that. Howard wonders how they got to those guys because it's un-American when a corporation can buy political candidates. He said we're doomed.
Howard said they have 5 shitheads in that Supreme Court. He had Gary give him the names of the 5 that voted for it. Gary and Will gave him the names and Howard wondered on what grounds they thought it was a good idea. Gary said that Clarence Thomas wanted to make it okay to give money directly to the guy and not to his campaign.
Howard played the audio of Rosie talking about her show with Craig Ferguson on ''The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.'' Craig was saying he heard Rosie and Howard talking and he had forgotten how Howard was a genius. Rosie then went on to talk about what Howard had called her for years and years and how they eventually made up. Rosie said she used to be scared of Howard and she was terrified of him.
Rosie also talked about how she had never listened to talk radio until she started listening to Howard. She said that Howard is unbelievably gifted. Craig said he's scared to talk about Howard Stern. He said he had been on the show once and he was scared to even do that. He said Howard was nice to him on the air and even nicer off the air.
Craig said he couldn't do an impression of Howard so he did a German impression. Rosie said that was a bad idea so he changed it to an Italian impression. Rosie and Craig talked about what a great guy Howard is and ended up talking about Artie a little bit as well. Rosie said that she thinks that there could be peace all over the world now that she and Howard have made up. Howard said that whenever he's spoken about America loves it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that unions are also allowed to give as much as they want to political campaigns. Howard said that's right and that is wrong too. He said that the system is no longer pure. He said that you have to accept donations to get anywhere and when you do you can't vote no on something that they support. Howard said that the Supreme Court could level the playing field if they took that away.
Howard said he wasn't going to spend a lot of time on that story so that's why he didn't bring up the union thing. Howard read about who appointed who in the Supreme Court and how Bush's people were the people who were voting for allowing the donations.
Howard and the guys spent a short time on that subject and the caller said that he was wrong about the banking system. He said the banks were too regulated so that's why they failed. Howard said the guy had it all wrong. He said that he didn't want to talk about this political stuff. The caller mentioned titties trying to get him back on track.
Howard said there's a new porno out called ''Tiger's Got Wood.'' He said JD is pulling some clips of that for him to play. He said they have Tiger and his Wife and the girls Tiger was supposed to be with all being portrayed in the movie.
Howard said that there are people on the web saying that the Black Eyed Peas stole the song ''Boom Boom Pow.'' He played some of their song and then played some of another song by Phenom called ''Boom Dynamite.'' It was kind of like that song. Howard said there's another part where Fergie sings in the Black Eyes Peas song that's similar to something in that other Phenom song.
Howard said he and Fred were arguing over the song over the weekend. Robin said it would be good of they could play them over each other. She said that she wasn't sure if it was a rip off or not. She said that there is some similarity but she's not sure if it's that much. Howard said he thinks it is a rip off but Fred says no. Robin said she's saying no too.
Howard said he likes the Black Eyed Peas but there were some similarities in there. Howard played his favorite version of the song which was when Ed Torian tried to sing it.
Howard said the song was a little too similar if you ask him. Robin said the rules or rap are different and they take stuff from everywhere.
Howard played some audio of Pink's performance. He said her song was very slow and it didn't sound like a hit song to him. He said that she should have done one of her hits because that's what people want to hear.
Howard and Robin were talking about the Lady Gaga song with Elton John. He talked about the black guy who came out and did the weird ''gaga, gaga''' stuff before her song. Howard said people love to say their own name in their songs these days. It's not just rappers anymore. Howard said the guy was kind of weird who came out before Lady Gaga.
Howard said Lady Gaga looked very wide in that outfit she had. He said she's not even that wide but the outfit was bad. He played more audio of Lady Gaga performing with Elton John. They were doing a whole weird thing with the black guy calling her a monster and throwing her into a fire. Then Lady Gaga came out and performed with Elton.
Howard said he's been following High Pitch Mike on Facebook and he's become really, super gay since he came out of the closet. He said that he was posting a lot of stuff about Lady Gaga before her concert and at one point he said that he had been ''mind fucked by Lady Gaga'' at her concert. Howard said that probably means he wants to be her.
Howard said they had a text your vote thing for Bon Jovi on the Grammy's. He said that they performed ''Livin' on a Prayer'' and they only gave them a minute and 47 seconds to play the song. Howard said that was kind of odd.
Howard played some of the Bon Jovi performance and said Richie Sambora loves that talk box thing. Fred said that's a Heil talk box and he only knows three guys who use it. Richie, Joe Walsh and Peter Frampton. They spent a short time talking about that.
Howard played more of the Bon Jovi song and goofed on Richie about how much he was using that talk box. Howard said Peter Frampton may have done a song on the show with Robin using that talk box. He played a song parody that Sal did about Robin with the talk box.
Ben was talking about how corrupt politicians can be. Howard said he's talked about that before and said that these politicians go out and become millionaires when they're out of office because they become lobbyists. Ben talked about the Jay Leno situation too. He said that Leno should have left the network. He said that O'Brien got screwed by them.
Howard said Leno could have left and done another show on another network. Ben said that Jay even talks about how he saves all of the money he's made from that network. Howard said the guy is less than truthful. He said he's a liar. Howard said Jay was offered the tonight show and he did it for 17 years. Then they fired him from the show and Jay agreed to leave. Then Jay stuck around and did the 10 o'clock show and now he's taking the Tonight Show back from Conan. Howard said he's been fired with no money in the bank and he would never go back and suck ass of a company that fired him like Jay Leno is doing.
Howard's dad had to go work out even though he's got some kind of cold going on. Robin said that was a nice call. Howard said his mother had a cold and he got that from her. Ben was saying it was just a nasal drip, not a cold. Howard said when they get sick he's afraid it's the end. He said he was out digging a hole over the weekend. He said his father is on fire about all of that stuff he was just talking about. He said the hole digging is good exercise for him though.
Howard said his father gave him an envelope maybe 10 years ago and it had information on where they wanted to be buried. He said they bought burial plots so he has this envelope in his drawer where it tells him where to bury them. Howard said he's never even looked at the paper. He said he's not sure where it is so he had better find it.
Howard said he's not sure when they bought the plot but it could have been many years ago. He said he's not sure where he'd put them but he'd like to put them in his back yard. He said he could dig a hole and put them in there like a pet. Howard said he could put some clam shells and rocks over their graves.
Howard said he want out house hunting on Long Island years ago and they had protected land because they had some family members buried on the land. He said he was going to buy the place but something happened with the school system or something. He said he would have had to have put his kids in public school because the Gambling family stopped him from letting his kids into the school. He said that was a low blow to do that to kids. Howard said he felt the school had no integrity when that happened. Howard said his kids were A students and they were going to turn them down because of what the Gambling's said about him.
Howard said that John Gambling is a real shit and he thinks there's a great place for him in Hell. He said that's bad karma to do something like that to someone. Howard said when Opie and Anthony came over he was asked if he wanted them fired. He said he doesn't want that kind of karma. He said he wouldn't have anyone fired from their job. That's just not cool. He said everyone has the right to work. He certainly wouldn't keep someone from getting a job.
Howard said that he's seem some of the kids they let into that school that his kids were kept out of. He said they come from questionable backgrounds but they were let right in. Howard said that Gambling was shitty on the radio and so was the whole family. Howard said his father was a nice guy but they weren't that good on radio. Howard said the son really had anger toward him for some reason though. Howard said he wasn't able to buy that house because the public schools in that area sucked. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back from break and asked who that was singing the song. Robin thought it was a Dave Matthews song so Howard and Fred had to correct her saying it was actually an Oasis song. Howard said this was a great version of the song though. Howard said that guy John Mayer does a song like this. Robin said it was Wonderland. Howard said this guy Ryan is married to Mandy Moore. He said a guy with one hit song shouldn't get to marry Mandy Moore.
Howard mentioned they're having a band competition on the show. They're looking for bands that are willing to do ''anything'' to get on the show. They're also still working on the Tiger Woods Mistress beauty pageant. They have about 3 women lined up right now but they're looking for more.
Howard said he thinks that as time goes by they'll have more women wanting to participate. They figure the less press they're getting the more they'll want to win that $100,000 from AshleyMadison.com.
Howard said he thinks he finished with the Grammy stuff but then he said he had more clips to play. Howard said he doesn't get the Beyonce thing. He said they treat her like she's the next big thing but he doesn't understand that. Howard said he saw pictures of her as a kid and she was much blacker and had kinky hair. Now she's light skinned and has blonde hair like Beth. He said that he can't imagine that she has hair that straight. Robin said it's probably a weave.
Howard played some of Beyonce's performance on the Grammy's last night. Howard said she almost fell over while she was being interviewed before the show. He said she was in those big shoes of her's.
Howard said Beyonce won't talk about Jay-Z even though she's married to the guy. Howard said it's very weird. He's not sure who came up with those rules that you can't talk about being with another celebrity. He said it may have been started by Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt.
Howard played more of the Beyonce audio and it was taking forever to get to the singing. He said she does have a beautiful voice. He said they must have a lot of money between the two of them. Beyonce must have a lot and Jay-Z must have a ton too. Howard said that's good for him. He said it's kind of sexy when you marry someone with that kind of money who still goes out and works for it.
Howard played a clip of Jennifer Lopez introducing Green Day who have a Broadway play now. Howard said that's kind of weird. He said they seem kind of pumped up about that whole thing. Howard said this guy Drake rapped and then Eminem came out and they got bleeped so much that the song sounds like the Eric the Midget Idol show on the web. He played some of that and they were chopping the song up during cursing and it was just silence.
Howard said Mary J Blige did a song with Andrea Bocelli (Simon & Garfunkel's ''Bridge Over Troubled Water''). He said that the guy wasn't paying attention to the camera. Robin said that's because he's blind. Howard played some of that and said he got bored listening to it during the break. He said that guy was speaking some strange language like Klingon or something.
JD told Howard that they're trying to raise money for Haiti with that song. Howard said no one is going to buy that song. He said they should have something better than that to sell. Howard said it sounds like he's singing in Yiddish or something. Fred threw in some Gilbert Gottfried singing his Yiddish song. Mary J Blige then came in and Howard said he was kind of digging the song. Howard joked that Andrea was singing into her ass so it was kind of embarrassing.
Howard said Jamie Foxx was there. The Black Eyed Peas were there too. He asked Robin what she wanted to hear. Howard ended up playing the Jamie Foxx stuff. He performed with Slash, Susan Boyle and some other people. Howard said poor Slash used to be in Guns N Roses. Robin said she doesn't like Jamie Foxx singing. She said he should be acting.
Howard played some of the Black Eyed Peas performance. Howard said he likes Fergie. He finds her attractive. He said she did Meth so she's a freak. Howard said those guys are ashamed of nothing. They were singing ''Ima be'' over and over. He said that they even bleeped her. Howard let that song play through and said that Fergie must be wild in bed. He said he'd bet the farm that all of the guys in the band have fucked her. Robin said she saw them on a morning show and they were talking about their backgrounds. Robin told Howard about that and how Fergie was the last one to join the group.
Howard let their song play through some more and said Fergie probably had her asshole hanging out of her outfit. He said that she forgot to put her pants on. He said he loves that she dresses like a whore. He said he loves that whole look and the way she acts black. He said she's like Beyonce in reverse. Beyonce is getting whiter while Fergie gets blacker.
Robin said that Michael Jackson's kids were on the show. Howard missed that but he had the audio. They did a whole 3D tribute to Michael on the show. Howard said the kids might have a shot at being normal now. Robin said they were with Michael more than 7 years so there's no shot of being normal.
Howard played some of Prince and Paris Jackson talking about their dad after the Michael Jackson tribute. Howard said they're trying to toughen those kids up by giving them karate lessons. He said he saw some video of that.
In the clip Prince and Paris said a few words about their dad. Howard said maybe they had something intelligent to say. Robin pointed out that Prince's voice was deeper than Michael's was. Prince thanked God and his grandparents for looking over them for the past 7 months. The kid also thanked the fans. Howard said this kid was boring but everyone loves to stare at him because he was Michael Jackson's kid. Howard wondered how Michael kept his voice as high as he did. He said he must have had his balls cut off. Paris also said a few words and said that their daddy was supposed to be there this year and how he didn't make it last year.
Howard said that was one kooky parent but it does stink when someone loses a parent. He said that Debbie Roe was never around for the kids.
Howard said that the Kings of Leon gave him a shout out. Howard said Wyclef Jean was on since he's from Haiti. Howard said Taylor Swift was dressed like an old lady. He said she should have dressed in something younger. He said he can't imagine that her album was an album of the year. He said her album was horrible. Howard said she was happy but she should have turned down the award. He played some of her speech and said he heard the show moved along nicely and they fit in a lot of performances. He had to take a break after that.
Gary said that Jay-Z was in there and when Howard asked him about Beyonce he just shut down and it was a weird interview after that. Howard said he doesn't understand what the big deal is and why they don't talk.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news report. Steve said that Pittsburgh Pete is denying that his real name is Aaron Silverman. He said he's not happy that they're doing the story and saying that he used to call into the show a decade ago. Howard said maybe they should leave him alone and not do the story. Howard said the guy just wants to be Pete.
Steve said that Pete appeared on the old show as Aaron Silverman at K-Rock and this is news in their world. Howard said there's a guy on the phone who says that his name is Hanzi and he's not sure that's even his real name. Hanzi said that his name is actually Imran Khan. He said that he could call himself I-Khan if he wanted. Howard said that Kahn is actually Jewish.
Hanzi said he cussed out Hulk Hogan on Bubba's show. Howard didn't react so Hanzi paused waiting for a reaction. Hanzi said that he has a bone to pick with Ronnie. He said that he saved Ronnie's show and without his call it was a disaster. Howard said he didn't know he was the savior of the show. Howard told Imran he had to go. He said he was way over time. Hanzi asked why he went to his call then. Howard told him he just wanted to say hi to him. Howard said he's getting angry for no reason. Hanzi said he was getting angry for him saying he was getting angry.
Steve got back to his news and said that they got a tip about Pete and they thought the story was interesting but Howard didn't think it was.
Steve said that they have asked Howard if they can cover his colonoscopy and Howard has said no to that. Steve said that they have a story about Bill O'Reilly mentioning Bubba the Love Sponge's name during an interview with Glenn Beck. Steve also mentioned the Chuck Zito show and the Greg Fitzsimmons show that are on tonight at 7 and midnight.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon ran down his list of stuff they'd be talking about today on the show. That led to Howard goofing on Gary about his Geraldo appearance. He said he has to play the clips tomorrow first thing in the morning. Howard was doing an impression of Gary talking about gadgets on the show and goofing on the way he talks and never says anything bad about these gadgets he tests. Howard said Gary gave the iPad ''four teeth up.'' Howard asked how long the segment was. Gary said it was about 4 minutes long. Howard said he had to wait until tomorrow to listen to it.
Howard goofed on Gary about the stools in his home theater again. He said Geraldo should have goofed on him about that. Gary asked if he was jealous of his new career. Howard said yes, yes he was very jealous.
Robin started her news with a story about the president of South Africa who has several wives since they practice polygamy in the tribe he's from. He's had 5 wives overall. He's had kids out of wedlock as well. Howard said they must not think it's a big deal down there. He said that stuff shouldn't matter if the guy is a good president. Howard said that's what he said about President Clinton when he was going through the crap with that Monica Lewinsky.
Robin read a story about a man in Philadelphia who was nipped by a puppy and he ended up lighting the puppy on fire. Robin said his kids told their teachers about it and the man was arrested for animal cruelty. Howard wondered what the guy is doing to his kids if the dos that to a dog.
Howard said they took in this cat Apple and they're taking care of her. He said she still chews at herself but she's new to the house. He said he can't imagine lighting a puppy on fire just for getting nipped by it. He said that's what puppies do.
Robin read about a teacher who is collecting a salary for just sitting in an office. She said that six 8th graders accused him of staring at their butts and he got to keep a job after just one of the girls was able to come forward and explain what happened to her. Robin said the teacher was given a slap on the wrist and now the teacher just sits in an office and doesn't teach any kids. The guy sits in the office doing his real estate deals and studies law. He's wroth $7.8 million because of the real estate deals. Howard said he thinks that's what Gary is doing at his desk.
Robin said another teacher offered a student $100 to disrobe during a make up test. She turned it down and turned him in. Robin said the cops set up a sting and caught him when he showed up with alcohol, condoms and two $100 bills.
Robin read about some of the ads that are going to run during the super bowl. Howard said he heard one of them is a pro-life ad. He said they won't allow ads that advocate the use of abortion but a pro-life ad is fine? Robin said they have rejected a gay dating service commercial but they are taking the pro-life ad. Howard said they'd have less abortions if they allowed more gay dating.
Robin said that Rush Limbaugh is saying he doesn't know what caused his chest pain while he was on vacation. She said that he's talked about that and said that it wasn't a heart attack. She said that he was judging the Miss America pageant over the weekend.
Robin read a story about a 72 year old woman who spent 4 days ailing on the floor of her home because she thought it would be too expensive. She was found dead later. She lived with a man who was 20 years younger and the husband said that he tried to lift her but couldn't so he just cared for her on the floor while she laid there. The family of the woman doesn't believe his story so they're hoping police will look into it.
Robin read a story about a man who killed a woman and cut her organs out. Robin said that the guy and the woman had been going at it since 2006 and she had orders of protection against him. The guy ripped her organs out and they have not been recovered. Robin said a neighbor saw blood coming out of the apartment door and called cops.
Howard had to do a couple of live commercials in the middle of the news. After he was done with that Robin read a story about John Edwards and his denials of having an affair and being the father of the child he was cheating with. Edwards assistant is saying that Edwards wanted him to take the fall for the whole thing. The guy has written a book about the whole thing. He claims he has a sex tape of Edwards too.
Robin read some news about the Toyota recall that's going on right now. She said that they have had to recall millions of vehicles over a sticking accelerator pedal. Gary said that there have been people that have had the car accelerate even when they're on their brakes. Howard said that's his worst nightmare. Robin said that they're saying that Toyota sales could fall by 75 percent while they have halted production and sales of certain vehicles.
Robin read a story about the rescue relief in Haiti and how President Obama stopped flights to the country. They had to leave people behind because they suspended flights out.
Robin read about some people who were arrested in Haiti for child trafficking. They claim that they were just helping orphans.
Robin said that there are bandits in Haiti who are raping women in camps down there. They're doing that in the tents that they have set up for the victims of the earthquake.
Robin read some news about President Obama and had some audio clips of him talking about his health care plan. They spent a few minutes talking about that.
Robin had a story about how they say ''Who dat'' in the NFL and people are saying that the term is now the property of the NFL. Anything with that term on it has to cease because they're claiming they own the term. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about how the NFL is just looking to make a buck off of this. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:55am.
Jon asked why Howard is so upset about Kathie Lee. Gary said that she's easy to pick on and she's back in the public eye now so it's easy for Howard to go there.
Gary said that he's tried to get Kathie Lee on the show over the years. He said Kathie Lee once sent him a note about his divorce but it was all about herself. He said that there was a lot of god stuff in there too so that wasn't going to work for Howard. He said she just didn't do that right.
Gary and Jon talked about Sam the cooking guy and how they agreed with the way he handled the situation. He spoke his mind and Gary said he liked that.
Jon asked Benjy if he was shocked that Howard did that today. Benjy said he was a little shocked. He said that the last time he went off on her was back in 2006. Benjy said that he can see Howard connecting with her some day at a party though and making up with her. Gary said that Kathie Lee is the polar opposite of Howard so he's not sure they'd ever meet.
Jon played some audio of Howard talking about the way people talk over one another on TV shows and how much he hates it. He was going off on Kathie Lee about her behavior with that Sam the cook guy.
After the clip Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thinks Howard does the same thing with guests on the show. He talks over people and doesn't listen all the time. Gary said Howard will sometimes talk over a person but he does listen and doesn't drone on. He said he might change the way the interview is heading and he controls it overall. The caller said that he yells at Howard to let the person answer sometimes because it can drive him nuts.
Jon took another call from this guy George who calls in often. The guy said that Howard is making him sick and tired with his constant rants about Jay Leno. He asked when Howard started with his contempt for Kathie Lee. Gary said he thinks it was when she had kids and was putting them on with her all the time. Gary said that Howard got very annoyed with her putting the kids on. Gary said that everyone noticed that stuff at the time and it wasn't just Howard. George asked if it was her arrogance. Gary said he thinks that's what it was.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked about Howard going off on Leno all the time. He said that there was never a mention of his lead in to Conan's show possibly being the reason for his ratings being so low. Oprah never went down that road with Jay. Gary said Howard kept saying that but he didn't hear the whole thing. Gary wondered how long it was before Jay started his show after Conan did. Jon said it was a couple of months and he didn't have good ratings even before that.
The caller said he never gets tired of Howard going off on Jay. He said that there may be a few Leno fans out there but Howard should keep it coming.
Benjy asked if there was an audience there with Jay and Oprah. Jon said it was on Jay's set and there was no audience there. Gary said he thinks that Jay was probably the one who didn't want the audience.
Gary asked Jon if he thinks that Jay helped his image by going on the show. Jon said he came off horribly in his opinion. He said that Jay wouldn't take any fault at all but he doesn't think that it will matter. He thinks that the people who watched him at 10 are going to watch him at 11:30. Jon said that this is the hardest hit his image has taken but he thinks it will go away. He said that sucks because Conan got fucked.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked if they heard Howard talking about Beth going on the talk shows and calling her a cunt. The caller said that he thinks that Howard had that in the back of his mind and it came out. Teddy said Howard was saying ''hun'' and not ''cunt.''
Jon asked the guys what they think of the way Jay Leno acts. Gary said he doesn't seem human at times. Another caller said that Howard has cut people off on his show and mentioned that he did that with Ashley Dupre. He said he cut her off when she was answering a question. Gary said that he thinks that Howard is a phenomenal interviewer and most people would agree with that. He can't bat 1000 all the time though.
Another caller said that Robin's news was all wrong today. He said that she had the Toyota thing wrong when she said it was a problem with the brakes and it was actually the accelerator problem. He said she had another error with another story too. Gary said Robin got the Toyota thing right after she read more of the story. He said that Robin pulls the news herself. The caller said she sounds retarded when she says stuff. Gary said she does screw up at times but no one is perfect.
Jon took another call from a guy who was talking about the political discussion they had this morning. That led to Scott DePace coming in to talk about all of that. Scott said he's not sure how well informed Howard is about that stuff. He said that he's usually on the other side of what Howard and Robin are on and he thinks that Howard isn't informed because he doesn't agree with his point of view. He said that if Howard was informed then maybe he would see what he sees.
Will was in too and he was arguing with Scott about some of the things he was saying about the Supreme Court decision.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he wants Scott off the air. He said that this is boring. He said that the whole thing turns political when Scott is on and it's boring. The caller said that Robin does get her news wrong every day. He said he doesn't write down everything every day but Howard tends to step on people when they're talking too. The caller said that Robin gets at least one story wrong every day.
Another caller said that DePace hates to hear other people's opinions. He said that the show isn't a politics show and that doesn't mean they can't discuss politics in an intelligent way. The guy went off on Scott and said that he thinks that he's better than everyone. He told Scott to admit that he's insecure and that's why he beats his dog like he beats other people down. Scott said he has no idea what he's talking about. He said that Scott would lick Howard's ass if he was talking about Rush Limbaugh like he liked him.
Will said Scott treats politics like sporting events and he takes one side in the while thing and that's that. Scott said that no one takes his side there on anything. Will said he has on some things. Gary said that Howard and Jason are the furthest to the left but there are some who will listen and agree with some of what Scott believes in.
Will said that Scott only listens to him so he can tell him how dumb he is. Scott said that's not true. Jon asked Scott if there's some insecurity leaking out. Gary said he and Scott had an argument about something today. He said they were arguing about going to CES this year and how Gary had picked going to Jon Hein's daughter's Bat Mitzvah instead. Scott looked at him like he was nuts. Scott said that it was his friend's daughters Bat Mitzvah and not a wedding. Scott thinks that Gary should have gone to CES instead.
Gary said he wanted to go to CES but he decided not to. He said Scott looked at him like he was insane though. Gary said that the CW 11 was going to send him out there to do the show but he chose going to the Bat Mitzvah. Gary said that was about him and Jon as friends so he went to that instead. Jon said he doesn't get it. He said he sees he wanted to show support for him but if he had something work related to do he would skip the Bat Mitzvah.
Gary said Scott loves to deflect. He said that if Scott's dad passed away he would go to the funeral because he's a friend. Scott said that's different. He said that a Bat Mitzvah is much different than a funeral.
Scott said he doesn't understand the importance of a Bat Mitzvah over a work related thing. Gary said Scott doesn't even understand how important it is to take his kid to the doctor over playing a game of golf. They had to take a break after that.
Gary said he sent out an email about getting a demo of 3D TV and he invited everyone on their email list there at work. Benjy said he didn't get that email. Gary said he'd let him know about it when the truck is showing up.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he hates when they talk politics on the show. The guy said that they should want less government involvement in what they do, not more. Gary said he might be right about that.
Jon wanted to get off of politics. He moved on to talk about the Grammy Awards. He brought up Green Day and how they did a Broadway Play type of thing on the show. Gary said that's kind of odd and they were talking in the back office about it and some people think it's a big sell out. Jon said that's what he thinks it is.
Gary said he loved the Counting Crows years ago but when they did the song for Shreck it made him look at the band in a different way. He said that Ross Zapin said they have to do what they have to do to sell records. Gary said he's still into their old stuff but in your mind you position a band in a certain way and then they change. He said that U2 has seemed to maintain their integrity over the years. Jon said they have sort of but not completely.
Gary said when he saw Billy Joe from Green Day up on stage last night he didn't see a rock star. He said he saw someone who looked like he'd be in Glee.
Jon said the Kings of Leon clip was cool where they gave Howard a shout out. Gary said he's mad that they won't come in and do the show. He said they had some lame excuse for that.
Jon took a call from Cyrus who asked if Gary gets mad when someone suggests a guest. Gary said he doesn't, he actually listens. He asked Cyrus if he has any suggestions. Cyrus said that he heard the guy mention that comedian earlier so he wondered if he was mad about that. Gary said he doesn't get mad.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they would take Stuttering John, KC or Jackie the Joke Man back if they had to pick one. Gary said that this was like F, Marry, Kill. He said that he knows that Jackie would goof on him all the time. Gary said KC created a lot of chaos behind the scenes at the show. He said that he's not sure he could ever trust him there now. He didn't steal or anything but he's not the guy he thought he was so he'd have trust issues. He said he'd probably bring Jackie back if he had to.
The caller asked what KC did that he doesn't trust. Gary said at the end KC was telling him that he was there doing stuff when he wasn't actually there. Gary said that's why he can't trust him.
The caller asked who Howard would take back. Gary said John is the last on the list so he'd have to go with Jackie. He thinks that Jackie would have the biggest contribution right now.
The caller was also asking the guys if they jerk off and try to get it off as soon as possible. Benjy said he tries to take his time with it. The caller said that's gay. They thanked him for his call and moved on.
Another caller said he thinks that Howard cuts people off during the show when he gets bored with them. He thinks that he has a switch in him that tells him to move on so he doesn't bore the audience. He said some fans might think he's cutting them off but he's really just trying to keep the interview moving.
Benjy and Gary were talking about how Howard will try to keep people on track too so that's why it sounds like he's interrupting. The caller agreed with that and said that he think that some people are reacting to it in the wrong way.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he wanted to start a movement to get Benjy off of the show and Will on. He said Will is one of the funniest guys on the show and he'd like to hear more of him on the Wrap Up Show. Will told Jon to listen to this caller. The caller said he didn't have anything against Benjy but Will is funny. Jon said he invites Will down every day but he's busy working most of the time. Benjy joked that Will is just a character he does.
Another caller asked if they ever thought of having Larry Flynt on the show. Gary said he's been on twice. He said it's hard to understand him at times and he's not sure that it would make sense to have him on again. The caller said he thinks that he's good when he does other interviews.
Another caller said that they should have the South Park guys on the show because they're geniuses. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how Quincy Jones is remaking ''We Are The World.'' Robin said she heard some of that. Howard said He thinks it's a dumb idea. He said that when that song came out MTV was playing music videos and you'd see all of the stars step up to the microphone. He said it was kind of cool back then but it was only good at that time. He said they got 100 singers together. He read the article about it and they say that none of the original singers are singing on this version. Robin said she thinks they had a better group the first time.
Howard said He was listening to the Wrap Up Show yesterday and He thinks that Scott DePace is nuts. He said He starts spewing out stuff that just makes him sound crazy. Howard said He was sending him stuff in his email and that was crazy too. He said Scott was on fire.
Scott came in and tried to talk about this stuff but Howard was still going off on all of the stuff He was talking about. Howard said Scott was going off on Gary about not going to CES so He could go to Jon Hein's daughter's Bat Mitzvah. Scott doesn't get what the big deal is. Howard told Scott it was a big deal to Jon. Scott said that CES would have been a big deal for Gary too. Scott said they were going to pay Gary to go to CES. Howard said He made a sacrifice for a friend.
Scott asked Howard why He didn't go to Jon's thing. Howard said He didn't go because he's selfish. He said that wasn't a good thing He did. Scott said he's a better friend than Howard is.
Howard said you have to hear Scott on the Wrap Up Show. He said that He was talking about the political stuff they discussed on the show earlier in the morning. Howard said that Scott is an oddball.
Howard played a clip where Gary was talking about not going to CES and the reaction He got from Scott about it. (You can read the details here).
Howard talked to Scott about why Gary went to the Bat Mitzvah and Scott still didn't get why it was such a big deal. Howard said it's a big deal for the kid and for the parents. Gary is a friend of the family and it was a big deal for him to support his friend. Howard said this is a really big deal for them. Scott still said that it was just like a big birthday party. Scott said He had never even met Jon's daughter. Howard said that He knows Jon though so he's honoring his daughter and you go to support a friend.
Scott said He did go to the party and He had a good time. Gary asked Scott if He went only to see the place they held it at. Scott said that's not why He went. He said He did go out and see one hole of the golf course but that was it.
Howard said he's sure Jon would have liked him to be there too and He knows that it probably hurt him that He didn't go. Howard said He wouldn't go to anything of Scott's since He didn't go to Jon's. Howard said that Scott has to have heard about Bat Mitzvah's and how big of a deal they are to the families. Scott said He has heard of them but it doesn't seem like it's that big of a deal.
Howard kicked Scott out and said that He really just doesn't get it. Scott left but He got on the mic in the Howard TV studio and kept talking to Howard. Scott said He went to the Bat Mitzvah because Jon invited him to it and He went because there were a lot of people from work there. He said He figured it was going to be fun. He said he didn't go to the other daughter's Bat Mitzvah because it was too far away. Howard said he would do it for his buddy if he had gone. Scott said that Howard and Robin are the same as him and they don't go to this stuff sometimes. Howard said he understands why he doesn't go though. He said Scott doesn't get it.
Scott said that Gary was trying to compare the Bat Mitzvah to a funeral of a family member. Howard said that's about right. Scott didn't think that was right. Howard said a caller hit it right on the head with Scott. He played a clip from the show where the caller was going off on Scott saying that he's insecure and he thinks that he's like a little boy. Scott argued with the guy and said he's very secure. The caller was also talking about the way he smacks the dog around. Scott said he just smacked it on the ass a couple of times.
Howard said Scott thinks he knows everything. Scott said he's not an elitist like Howard thinks he is. Howard said he really is though.
Robin said that Scott does seem to be a good father and a good husband. She said that he's doing his best for the family. Scott said she was describing him like he was slow or something.
The caller was also talking about the Supreme Court ruling that they were discussing yesterday. He said that they stuck by the constitution by voting the way they did. Howard said they made it impossible to have any kind of reform at all with that judgment. He said that he can't imagine that anyone agrees with that other than Scott DePace. Howard said there was a chance for hope there but they ruined it. He said this is the worst thing for this country.
The caller said that he agrees with it because the Supreme Court was just going with the Constitution and they he actually agrees with Scott DePace.
Howard said everyone who gets into office changes because of money. He said that's why this Obama promised so many things and he's not delivering on them. Howard said he changed once he got into office.
Howard said these politicians are getting paid under the table with these special interest groups and that has to stop or this country is doomed. Howard said there is a lot of corruption going on and it's got to stop.
Howard said that the reverberations of this are going to be long and bad. He said it might be soon that we have to sneak into Mexico because things are going to get bad.
The caller said that they had a skit on Saturday Night Live this week about Scott Brown and it was very funny. He explained the bit to Howard and told him how funny it was. Howard said he'd check it out, he has it on tape.
Howard let the caller go and spent a little more time talking about how there used to be lobbying in radio. He said you'd slip the program director some coke and some money and he'd put your song on the air. He said it was legal years ago. Howard said if you had enough money they'd play the song. It was called Payola and now it's illegal. He said it's illegal except for our senators and congressmen. Howard said they should make it illegal. Howard said you have to be mentally ill not to understand this. He said that there are people taking the money and running instead of helping people. Howard said the government can regulate radio but they can't regulate themselves.
Howard said they can regulate if Lady Gaga gets played or Britney Spears gets played but not government. He said this ''it's constitutional'' argument is ridiculous. He said that those people have to shut the fuck up.
Howard said that on radio you have to report any gift over $12 but in government they don't have to report anything.
Benjy told Howard he may not understand the ruling. He explained it to Howard as he knew it and it was more about ads than about money. Howard said that the Supreme Court didn't need to rule on this. He said that they killed any possible reform with this ruling they had. Benjy said they can still make a law against it. Howard said they can't get a law through about giving money. These corporations can still give money, it's just limited. He said that these politicians can still get out of office and become millionaires.
Howard told Benjy that he's right and maybe he's wrong. He said that they didn't need to rule on this case though. He said he doesn't give a fuck but everyone is on the take. He told Benjy to stop staring at him because he hates him. He said that he doesn't want him commenting on this. He said he doesn't care what he thinks.
Howard told Benjy that he has to let him look smart on the show. He and Benjy went back and forth on that and Benjy said he doesn't think Howard gets what this ruling was about. Howard said he may be right about that.
Howard was arguing with Benjy about something in the Constitution about a black person only being 3/5 of a person. Benjy said that was not in the Constitution. They argued about that and Benjy was arguing with him about whether or not it was in there. Howard said Benjy is challenging him and this is a guy who had his finger up his girlfriend's ass at his party.
Jason came in with a print out of what Howard was talking about. Benjy wanted to bet Howard $100 on it and Howard was ready to collect his money. Benjy said that he wasn't trying to embarrass him or anything but that's what Howard thought he was doing. Howard said it was in the original constitution.
Jason said that it was in the Constitution but Benjy was right about part of his argument. Jason said that they said that the slaves were only 3/5 of a person and it was put in the Constitution. Robin said that's what was put in the constitution and she read something about it but Benjy said he still doesn't believe it was in there.
Howard told Benjy he wins and he doesn't owe him $100. Benjy said that Robin wasn't right about it and she didn't read it in the Constitution. Robin explained how it worked and how it was included in the Constitution. Benjy tried to pay Howard the $100 but he refused to take it. Howard told Benjy he doesn't even want him in the studio. He said he's supposed to be out with the interns.
Howard said he's not sure why he's listening to Benjy who is a guy who doesn't even give his real age. He said that Benjy doesn't know what he's talking about. Benjy said he does too. Howard said he wants to attack Benjy personally.
Gary read the segment from the Constitution where they have that 3/5ths thing and it came right out of the Constitution. Howard asked Benjy if he has learned something now. Benjy wanted to donate his $100 to something but Howard told him to give it to Fred. Then he told Fred to give it back to Benjy.
Howard wanted to move on to something else. Fred was doing an impression of Benjy arguing and goofed on him for a short time. Howard said he knows about all of this stuff because he went to a black school.
Howard told Benjy to apologize to him. Benjy wasn't going to do it. Howard said he won't admit he was wrong. Howard wondered why that was such an ego blow. Benjy said he wasn't completely wrong. Howard said no one can say when they're wrong. He said this was supposed to last like 15 seconds but then this guy challenges him and it keeps going on and on. Howard said this guy wants to go back to see black people being 3/5 of a person. Howard said he's a patriot but he doesn't know what Benjy is.
Howard asked Benjy why he's wearing a cap inside. Benjy said it was kind of chilly in there. He said it's also for his look. Fred said he wants to look like a fat skier. Gary said he wore the hat the whole time at the Christmas party. Benjy said he wears the hat a lot. He said he'll even leave it on at home. Howard said that's like him wearing a football helmet in the studio all morning.
Howard said Benjy dresses like a cat burglar. He said he looks like he's going to go rob a bank. Benjy was still talking about the Constitution thing and trying to change the subject.
Howard turned off his mic and said he wanted to move on. Robin wanted to ask him more questions about that but Howard told her not to get him going.
Howard asked Robin what she would do if someone showed up for a date in a ski cap. Robin said she'd be kind of freaked out. She said there's something wrong with someone who shows up in a ski cap. Howard said Benjy should be worried about the ski cap and not about the Constitution.
Howard said that Benjy's face was all sweaty but Benjy said it was lotion he had put on. Howard said he looks like he's sweating. Howard said Benjy is very inappropriate. He said he once pulled down his pants to jerk off in front of Rudy Giuliani. Howard said he can't imagine what he was thinking. Benjy said they discussed it that day. He said he wasn't going to jerk off on him, it was just to jerk off while someone was sitting in the studio without him knowing about it.
Howard said he wouldn't do that to his friends. Benjy said he checked with him about it first. Howard said he's glad he did.
Howard asked Fred how he thinks things would have gone of Benjy had done that. Benjy told Howard it was actually Bill O'Reilly he wanted to do it in front of. Fred did his impression of Benjy talking about that.
Gary came in and told Howard that Benjy did masturbate in front of a girl in the studio one time back at K-Rock. He said that Tom Chiusano wanted to kill him that day. He also said that he grips his penis in a really weird way too. He grabs it backwards. Benjy said he didn't even know why he did it that way.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why Benjy has to be in the studio. Howard said he's been asking the same thing. The caller said that Benjy screws up the chemistry in the studio. Howard said he forgets about Benjy if he doesn't say anything. The caller said that Benjy gets them into the Benjy Vortex on the Wrap Up Show too.
Howard said Benjy could sit anywhere, even at home, to do his job. He said he's on a remote camera so he can read his written jokes from anywhere. Benjy said that Howard is the one who told him to sit in the studio. Howard said he never said that. He said Benjy was the one who wants to sit in there. Benjy said it's not necessary to sit in there but it does make things easier. The caller said they should get him out of there.
Howard said Benjy is sweating all over the place now. He said he's dripping wet. Fred played some dripping water sound clips. He also did his impression of Benjy explaining the concept of gravity to Howard.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked which wife Howard would rather interview, Leno's wife or Letterman's wife. Howard said he would rather interview Letterman's wife. Howard said no one has spoken to her and she's the more interesting story. Howard said he thinks that the story would be more interesting from Letterman's wife. He said he thinks that she wouldn't shut up if he spoke to her. He said he'd give her a show there. Howard said Dave isn't going to let anyone interview her though. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked if anyone heard Chuck Zito's show last night. Robin said it just pops up and you don't expect it. Howard said that guy is really a man. He had some clips to play and Captain Janks has been into this thing with Steve Langford lately and he's been pranking the shows there. He said that he's been going around saying that Steve's mother is a cunt and that's not cool.
Howard played the first clip where Janks got through and said that Steve's mother was a cunt twice. Chuck cut him off and told him to say it to Steve's face.
Howard said Chuck got pissed at that and then later in the show Chuck talked to another guy about weight lifting. Chuck told the caller he wasn't lifting enough when he said he was lifting 220 pounds. Chuck told the guy to shoot some Deka which was some kind of steroid. Howard said that most guys won't admit to doing that but Chuck admitted he did it when he was on Oz.
Howard said he can bench like 95 pounds. Robin asked how that can be. Howard said that's all he can lift. Robin said he should be able to lift more than that. Howard said he really can't. Howard said he can do push-ups and dips and stuff but not bench. He said he's very weak when it comes to that. Howard said he's old though. Robin said she's not sure what happened to him that he can't lift a decent amount of weight. Howard said he's 6'5'' tall and he should be able to lift a lot more.
Howard played another clip where a caller asked Chuck if he had ever beat up a guy and felt bad about it. Chuck said he has good reasons for fighting so he doesn't feel bad after doing it. He said that years ago he had a guy that he gave a good beating to over a gang patch he was wearing and he kind of felt bad when he found out the guy was allowed to wear the patch.
Howard said that's wild that he gave the guy a beating over a patch. Robin said that she knew guys who would start fights by putting something on their shoulder and as soon as it was knocked off, the fight was on. Howard said he'd never wear a patch in front of Chuck. He knows better.
Lisa said that the liner notes on the album are great. Gary said that he thanked so many people that you can barely read the notes. Gary said he got a copy of the CD and his son loved it.
Howard said he doesn't get why anyone would be into watching the Grammy show with all of the edits to the Eminem song. He said that people who want to see them perform can't think that it's cool. Gary said he thinks that 25 percent of that Eminem show was bleeped. Howard said a lot of kids like Green Day too but they think that they've sold out. Howard said he didn't think of it either way. He said Green Day probably doesn't give a shit either way. That led to them talking about how other bands have sold out by giving their songs up to car companies and things like that. Fred said that The Who and Led Zeppelin have sold out. The Who even sold their songs to the CSI TV shows.
Lisa said that Richard's liner notes include thanks to the people there and from some movies, his fish and Howard comes after all of them.
Lisa said that Jay Thomas was on Celebrity Ghost Stories and talked about seeing a ghost in his house. Lisa said that Jay told them that he got paid $10,000 for that story and it wasn't bad for an hour's wroth of work. Howard said he thinks that Jay may have told them that story. He said he wishes that there were ghosts because it would mean there was an afterlife.
Howard said Richard is right and he'd love to know that there is a ghost. He said he welcomes any ghost to come and say hi.
Howard had Richard come in with his album so they could play some of his stuff. Richard came in and said that he wasn't even going to do the thank you thing but someone suggested it and then he kept adding people he forgot about. Howard said the album cover is kind of cool but it's too dark. He said that it would be cooler if you could see the people better. Richard said it could have been the printer that made it too dark.
Richard told Howard to play track 4 from the album. It was called ''Blood On Wood.'' Richard said that one is about drumming. He said he broke a blister on his finger one day and he got blood on the stick so it inspired him to write that song.
Howard played the song and asked who was singing. Richard said it's Tim ''Ripper'' Owens. Howard said the guy is pretty good but that music doesn't relax him at all. Howard asked Gary if Lucas really likes this stuff. Gary said he did. Gary said Lucas is 12 now and he was thinking about converting to Judaism too.
Howard played another track from the album since Robin didn't seem to be into that one. He played a bit of that song and quickly moved on to another one. That was track 7. Richard said that the intro is kind of long. Howard did a talk up for the song and gave the weather. The intro went on too long for him. Howard had to bail out on the talk up. That one was called ''Voices in the Walls.''
Fred was goofing on Richard about the songs and did an impression of him talking about them. Howard played more of the song and asked how he comes up with the songs. Richard said he just feels it and he has to write the songs. Howard asked if any of the voices in the walls ask to take a shower. Richard got a laugh out of that. Richard went on to talk about the voices in the practice space where he used to practice. He said it was very deep.
Howard told Richard that was very nice. The album is out today everywhere. Richard said that Jon Hein wants that copy of the CD if he can dig it out of the trash. Howard told him he was just kidding about throwing it in the garbage.
Howard let Richard go and Lisa G mentioned that they spoke to Sam Zien about the Kathie Lee thing but she's not going to give it away since Howard is going to be talking to him today.
Howard played a clip of Gary the Retard leaving a message asking if he could be on the show next month. Gary is turning 58 years old so he wants to be on the show. He had someone coaching him in the background. Howard said you wonder what is going on with the guy and if he's naked tied up in a chair or something.
Howard said Riley Martin called Gary too. He played that voice mail and Riley asked if he could come into New York and do a 2 hour on camera show. He wants to do a show in the studio but not even with Howard. Riley sounded like he may have been extra ''relaxed'' in that call.
Howard said Ass Napkin Ed calls in too and he rambles on and on about dating High Pitch Eric's girlfriend Angel. He played that clip and Ed sounded like he might be drunk in that clip. Ed was claiming he was dating Angel. Howard said the message went on for like 5 minutes and then he called back in and left another message. Gary said he's not sure he's really got something going on with that chick or not.
Howard said Ed gets mad at Gary for not returning his calls too. He played one of those messages where Ed got all pissed at Gary for not calling him back about the Angel call. Ed said that it was fucked up for not returning his calls. Ed said that he was taking that girl out and he should call him about that.
Howard wondered what Gary is supposed to do about it even if he is dating her. Gary said that Tim Sabean told him that this is what his voice mail is like too.
Howard played more of Ed's voice mail and let that play out for a little longer. Ed was telling Gary to fuck off for not returning his calls.
Howard said the guy is there now and they have the girl that he claims that he had sex with. The girl claims that he only kissed her and they didn't have sex.
Howard had Pete come in and asked him if he knows what pussy is. Pete said that a girl has it. He knew where it was on the girl. Howard said that the girl is saying that he's wrong about having sex. Pete said that's because she's shy.
Howard said that Pete didn't think that she was even attractive. Pete said he didn't. He said he has a new girl, this isn't the old one. Pete said she's a white girl and he has known her for a while now. Pete said that she wanted him after he was on the radio.
Will came in and said that there are holes in the story. He said that Pete claimed yesterday that this was the same girl he had talked about the last time he was on. Pete said that Will spoke to the new girlfriend yesterday and this is a different girl. It was all very confusing.
Will said this girl is very normal. She didn't come in with Pete today though. Howard asked Pete how she got interested in him all of a sudden. Pete said she heard him on the radio and that's what did it.
Howard asked Pete if the girl is after him for his money. Pete said that's not why. Howard went through the date details and found out they went out to a diner for dinner. Howard said Pete is very hard to understand. He wasn't sure if he was saying diner or dinner.
Howard asked if she asked him to come back to her place to have sex. He said she did and he was shocked when she did that. Robin asked if she had ever kissed before. Pete said they hadn't done that before. Pete said that she wanted to have sex though.
Howard asked what happened when they got back to her place. Pete said that she took her clothes off and she undressed him too.
Howard asked Pete if he knows what the two things are on the girl's chest. Pete said that he knows they're boobs. Howard asked if she had a flat belly. Pete said she did. He said that she didn't have cellulite either.
Howard asked Pete about kissing this girl and if he exploded as soon as she kissed him. Pete said he did. Howard asked if he knows what sex is. Pete said that it's when you have pussy and dick and put the dick in the pussy. Howard asked him how he found out about that. Pete said he doesn't remember.
Howard asked Pete if he's legally allowed to have sex. Pete said he is. Howard said that the dick in the pussy thing was pretty crude but he'd go on.
Howard asked Pete where the stuff that came out of his penis landed. Pete said it was on the floor. Howard asked who cleaned it up. Pete said the girl did. Howard asked if he was embarrassed. Pete said he wasn't.
Howard said that he hasn't had sex because his penis didn't go inside the vagina yet. Pete said he knows that. Howard asked if they ended up in bed. Pete said they did. Howard asked if she licked his ass. Pete said she didn't do that. Howard asked if she touched his wiener. Pete said she did that. He also said that he kissed her in her private spot.
Howard asked if he smelled any doody. Pete said he did a little bit. Robin told him to stop it. Howard asked if he had made a doody too. He said he had but everything was fresh. Howard asked if she kissed his penis. Pete said she did.
Howard asked Pete if he knows what cunnilingus is. Pete didn't know. Howard said that's when you lick the vagina. Howard asked if he asked the girl if she made a doody when he smelled the stink. Pete said he didn't do that. Pete told Howard that he knew how to lick the top thing on the girl from watching porno.
Howard said Pete knows more about the clitoris than he does. He asked if she was telling him to give it to her hard. Pete said she was shy so she didn't do that. Pete said she was a virgin too and she told him that she was. Howard asked if there was blood on the sheets afterward. Pete said here was. She still lives at home with her parents so Howard asked where they were. Pete said they were at work.
Howard asked if she's the same intelligence as he is. Pete said she is and she's in the same class as he is. Howard asked Pete if he knew how to get his penis in the hole. Pete said he did it himself. He said he just had to push since she was a virgin. Howard asked how long he lasted. Pete said he lasted 2 hours. Howard said that's impossible. He asked Pete if he knows how long two hours really is. Pete knew it was 120 minutes. He said he went from 12 to 2 so it was two hours.
Howard asked Pete if he used a rubber. Pete didn't. Pete said he finished outside so he's hoping she's not pregnant. Pete said he finished on her butt.
Howard asked Pete if he was worried about getting diseases. Pete said he wasn't worried but he said he would use a condom when he does it again in the future. Howard said that Pete can't be a father yet. He said that if her family ever found out the father would throw him out a window.
Howard said he's 56 years old and if he added up the sex he's had it wouldn't add up to 2 hours. He found it hard to believe he lasted that long.
Pete told Howard that they were switching back and forth between missionary and doggy style. They did that a couple of times before finishing in doggy style.
Howard said Wendy the Retard was on the phone and she was turned on by him. Howard got her on the line and asked her about wanting to be with Pete. She was answering yes to any question Howard asked. She was claiming she didn't wipe well either so she might be stinky. She said she would rock his world if she was with him. She said that she can handle all of the positions.
Howard asked Wendy some more dating questions and she sounded a little tired and just kept saying ''yeah'' over and over. Howard asked Pete what he looks for in a woman. Pete said he's just looking for a pulse. Howard told Pete that Wendy can eat 3 pizzas in one sitting. Wendy asked if he likes doing karaoke. Pete said he does that sometimes. Howard asked if he would mind her eating 3 pizzas. Pete said ''not at all.''
Wendy said she can actually eat 5 whole pizzas. Howard asked how many times a day she makes a doody. She said it's 4 or 5 times a day. Sometimes she doesn't make it to the toilet. Howard said Pete is going to be good because nothing is turning him off. Howard asked Pete if he likes to bowl. Pete said he does sometimes. Howard said Wendy loves to bowl.
Wendy said that she takes a big doody after bowling and then she eats and drinks more so she throws up and makes more doody. Howard asked if she would make doody while having sex. Wendy said she wouldn't do that.
Howard asked Pete if this all sounded good to him. Pete said ''yes.'' Howard asked Wendy about clogging the toilet when she poops. She said she does that and she also misses the toilet sometimes. She said she can miss the hole when she's not paying attention.
Robin told Howard to play the clip of Wendy when she was talking and throwing up. Howard said he didn't want to turn Pete off.
Howard wrapped up with Wendy and told her that he's going to look into doing a Retarded Bachelor show with Pete. Howard thanked Wendy for the call and let her go a short time later. Howard said Pete got some stank on that hang low and now he's getting chicks.
Howard took a call from Sal and Richard who were playing Crackhead Bob clips asking Pete some unintelligible questions. Pete didn't know what to say.
Howard asked Pete how often he's having sex. He said he's doing it twice a week now. He said he will start wearing condoms now. Robin said he was playing Russian Roulette with that. Howard said that's like tempting fate to bring children out of this union. Howard said he doesn't want Pete to become a young father. Pete said he can have kids but not right now.
Howard took another call from the guys in the back who were playing Leon Spinks unintelligible clips. Pete didn't know what to say to those questions either.
Howard congratulated Pete on becoming a man. He told him he should be wearing condoms though. He said that a real man would wear a condom.
Gary said that Medicated Pete and Virgin Pete are from the same town. Howard said he's glad Gary interrupted with that. It was fascinating information.
Howard gave Pete $711 from 7-Eleven as a prize for coming in. Pete didn't seem to get that it was prize money that he'd get to spend. They had to explain it to him. Howard asked Pete if he had been to a 7-Eleven. Pete said he had been there and he knew the ''Oh thank Heaven for 7-Eleven.''
Howard asked Pete how old this girl is that he's been with. Pete said she's 21. Pete is 24. Howard asked how old he is mentally. Pete wasn't sure. Howard said that this girl is giving herself to him and that's a big honor to have that. He told him not to be mean to her.
Howard and Robin asked what he does with the girl. Pete said that he takes her to the movies. Howard said he's not sure what to believe because Pete claimed that Bruce Lee trained him in Karate. Pete said he explained that he learned that from TV, not from Bruce Lee directly.
Sal came in and asked if they could give him porn because he's been hounding them for some. Sal brought in a porn with a transsexual in it. Howard told him to get that out of there. He said they're not going to give him any porn.
Howard said it's a milestone for Pete to lose his virginity. He asked what he did to celebrate. Pete said he drank some beer. Howard asked him what he's going to do with the $711. Pete said he's going to save it and spend it on his girlfriend. Robin asked if he drives. Pete said he doesn't. He tired taking the test though.
Howard said he likes this guy Pete and that's why he's giving him the money. Howard wrapped up with him and said that he's still going to call him the Asian virgin because he doesn't believe a word of what he told them.
Howard asked Pete how many loads he dropped that day. Pete said it was two. Howard said if he got one more detail he was going to throw up so he had to stop. He said he must have one big load that day though. He said it must have been one big puddle.
High Pitch Eric called in as Margie and said that he was hot for Pete. He was looking for someone to power wash his vagina. Pete said he wasn't looking to do that. Howard told Margie to describe herself. Eric said that his vagina smells like horse manure. He asked Pete to wipe his ass for him because he has gout. He was looking for someone to give him a good reaming. He was running out of lines so Howard bailed out on that call.
Howard said he'll get in touch with Pete if they do Retarded Bachelor. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he got kind of heated over the way Kathie Lee treated Sam Zien when he was on The Today Show with her and this Hoda. Howard said that Sam was being interrupted every two seconds and he blew up at them. Howard said that Sam spoke up for himself on the show and he admires him for that. He played the audio that he played yesterday where Sam told them to be quiet and pay attention so he could talk.
Howard got Sam on the phone and told him that he was describing to his audience that doing something like he does on that show takes some prep. He just ants to get the information out there and doesn't want to be interrupted.
Sam said that clip was from his second time on the show. He said the fist time he heard from his friends that there was a lot of chatter on the show during his segment. Sam said he was on auto pilot that first time and didn't notice it. He said the second time he was way more comfortable and he was just doing his thing. He said they brought him in to do a job and he had to cut through all of that stuff somehow and it just came out.
Howard said his problem with Kathie Lee is that she still thinks that Sam was the one who was rude. Howard said Kathie Lee can't quiet down for a second to let someone else shine. He said that it's like she's afraid someone else is going to shine for a moment.
Sam said he went on when they had an etiquette expert on and he told them that he didn't feel he did anything wrong. He said that he didn't feel that he had anything to apologize for. He said he would have done the same thing to his mom if she was interrupting him. Howard said they didn't even let the etiquette expert speak on that show. Sam said that's right and she ran off after that segment like she wanted nothing to do with it.
Howard said Sam gave Kathie Lee some instant criticism that could have helped her career. He said he can't believe the producers don't say anything to her. Sam said that he has to speak his mind so that's what he does when he's doing a show like that. Sam said he's just a regular guy and that day was no different than any day he shoots his own show.
Howard said it's like Kathie Lee feels that the segment isn't going to work so they just talk over him. Howard said that she was saying that Sam was the rude one and she didn't realize that she was being rude.
Howard asked if he has been asked back since then. Sam said he's been back 4 times. He'll be on later this month too. Howard asked if they quiet down at all when he's on. Sam said he's no longer on with them. Sam said that radio and TV is about entertainment and they may have looked at it like it was good enough that they wanted him back but not with Kathie Lee and Hoda.
Howard asked Sam if he ever sees them in the hall or anything. Sam said that they would come out toward the end of his cooking segment. He said that they actually played the clip again and embraced that moment from the show. He said that they could have ignored the clip but they went back to it and he likes them for doing that.
Sam said that the story ended up in the NY Times so they wanted to have some fun with it and hung on to it. Howard wondered if Kathie Lee is upset that they have him back on the show after all of that. Sam said he has a theory that Kathie Lee knows what makes TV work and she isn't going to be upset about something like that. Sam said he thinks that she gets it and it's not bothering her.
Howard said he thinks that Kathie Lee owes him an apology. Sam said that she was rubbing his cheeks and checking under his arms to see if he was sweating after the etiquette thing. He said he wasn't sweating.
Howard gave Sam a plug for his book ''Sam the Cooking Guy: Just a Bunch of Recipes'' and let him go a short time later.
Howard spent a little more time talking about Kathie Lee and the way she treated Sam. He said that they don't let people talk on that show, ever. He said that Kathie Lee just talks over everyone. He said it's like a plague.
Howard said he had a clip of Ann Coulter talking to the women on The View. Gary told Howard where the clip was but he had it wrong. Howard eventually figured out where it was. Howard was goofing on Gary about screwing up again so JD came in and said that it was actually his fault. They played some Baba Booey song parodies and goofed on him for a short time before getting to the clip. Howard asked Gary how his Solitaire game was going. Gary said he hasn't played in ages. He said he's answering emails about the show. He said that when he was playing he'd win like 80 percent of the time. Howard asked if that was true. Gary said he didn't know because he was just guessing.
Howard played the clip where Ann Coulter was trying to speak and all of the women on The View were talking over her and over each other. Howard said they didn't doctor that clip at all. Howard said it seems like 90 percent of the time they're all talking over each other. Robin said people must like that because they haven't stopped.
Howard asked Gary about the solitaire games and if he's playing one draw or three draw. Gary said he plays one. Howard figured he wanted to win so that's why he plays that way. They played some more Baba Booey song parodies and Howard goofed on Gary about playing the game and cheating to win. Gary said he doesn't cheat, he plays the game the way it's set up.
Howard said that's great he plays the game that's built into Windows so he has access to it all the time. Howard said it's pretty exciting working there but maybe not. Robin said she's amazed he can play while they're doing the Wrap Up Show.
Howard said Gary should bring in a real deck of cards. He said they can call him Solitaire Gary. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along to the song a little bit. He then moved on to talk about this talking sex robot that this guy invented. Howard said that the robot is really ugly though. He said if you invent a sex robot it should be good looking. Robin said it was hideous. Howard said she looks annoying.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she had an experience with Kathie Lee. She said that she was on Regis years ago and she was one of the finalists in the costume party. She said that Kathie Lee told her that she was robbed and brought her back to her dressing room and gave her son some gifts and stuff. She said she thought Kathie Lee was being nice. The next day she heard that Kathie Lee had portrayed her on the show as being a sore loser. The caller said that Kathie Lee trashed her on the air and she doesn't know why she did that.
Howard was trying to get off the phone with the woman but she kept bringing up more and more stuff. Howard eventually had to cut her off and let her go.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said that the thing about Gary playing solitaire one card at a time should be called Butch-i-taire. Howard hung up and said he has no idea what he was talking about. He said he's not taking anymore calls after those two.
Then he took another call from Bobo. Bobo asked Howard if Beth has ever put on hot lingerie to get him distracted from chess. Howard said she's not that kind of woman. He said that she doesn't do that kind of thing. Howard said he's stopped playing chess before he goes to bed anyway. He said that there's something wrong with him if he's not running to bed to be with Beth. He said he knew that and that's why he stoped playing.
Another caller asked if he had seen the trailer for the new Iron Man movie. Howard said he did see the trailer and it looks good. Howard said it looks real good. He liked the first one and he thinks that Robert Downey is one of the best actors out there.
The caller had also asked about the new Spider-Man movie changes. Howard said he saw that they're changing the director and getting rid of Tobey Maguire. He said that it might be time for a change but the last 3 movies were great. He said they're taking Spider-Man back to high school and that's cool.
Ralph was on the phone and said he thinks that it's a great idea to go back to high school with Spider-Man. He said that Sam Raimi only made one good Spider-Man though. Ralph also brought up ''District 9'' and how that was nominated for some awards. He said that's really cool because it wasn't a huge production.
Howard asked if Star Trek was nominated for anything. Ralph didn't think it was. He said that was a great movie though. Howard agreed. He said that one was really, really good.
Howard let Ralph go and took another call from a guy who said that it seems like Howard has something negative to say about Christians or Christianity on a regular basis. Howard said he's down on organized religion in general. He said he thinks that it's divisive and it's all the same bullshit to him. He said that he doesn't have anything against Christians per say.
The caller said that he notices that Howard is always saying that he's Jewish. Howard said he's half Jewish. Howard said he's not religious himself. The caller said he checked out some stuff online and he was wondering if Howard is against the Christians. Howard joked that he is part of a Jewish group that's trying to take over the country. The caller said it does seem that he's against Christianity. Howard said he doesn't have anything against Christians but he is starting to dislike this caller. The caller told him to get in touch with the agenda he has. Howard said he doesn't even know what that is.
Howard let the caller go and talked about how he's noticed that some of the most religious people are the ones who say the worst things about other people. He doesn't get why people put all of their faith in religion the way they do.
Howard played the audio from Geraldo's show where he introduced Gary as being from the CW and being ''Gadget Gary'' and as the executive producer of the Howard Stern Show. Howard thought he was being introduced as being from the CW.
Howard asked Gary what the best device is to play solitaire on. Gary said that it would probably be the iPad. Howard played more of the audio from Geraldo's show where he was asking Gary about the movie Avatar and if that's what it's going to be like in the future. Howard and Robin found it funny that Gary was being asked about that kind of stuff. Howard said he likes how Gary is now a gadget expert and people are buying into it. Gary said people would buy into it more if he would shut up. Howard said that if you say you're an expert then people will buy into it. Gary said that's very true.
Robin said the sports experts are the worst. She said that they'll tell you why the teams are going to win and they're always wrong. Howard said that these experts really don't know a thing. Gary said that's true and if they say you're an expert then the audience will buy into it.
Howard played more of the audio of Geraldo and Gary talking about Avatar. They eventually moved on to talk about the Sony eBook reader. Howard said he learned nothing from them about Avatar at all. Howard said he thought that Gary was going to talk about how it was going to lead to other products like 3D TV and stuff. Gary said Geraldo was asking if he thinks that they're going to lose actors to the CG and he was responding to that.
Howard asked what the medallion was that Gary was wearing on the show. Gary said it was a 45 record adapter for a record player. Howard said he thought it was a swastika. He found that kind of odd. He asked if he still listens to records. Gary said he has a lot of vinyl and he still has a turntable. He said his kids listen to some of that stuff too. He said he can't throw that stuff out because there are still things that aren't on CD yet. Gary said he has an 8 track player and some other stuff as well.
Ralph called in and said he's glad that they waited until now to talk about this. He said that Gary doesn't know anything about what he's talking about. Gary said he listens to Geektime and Ralph doesn't know what he's talking about either. Ralph said he likes that Gary said the iPad was a ''stumble'' for Apple and the thing hasn't even been released yet. Gary and Ralph went back and forth on that and Gary asked who Ralph thinks he is.
Howard played more of the audio of Gary on Geraldo and he was talking about that eBook reader. Ralph said he trots that thing out on every show he goes on. Gary said he's had it on two shows, that's it.
Geraldo was asking Gary about the eBook reader and if that's going to put book companies out of business. Gary said that they may replace books some day. He was also saying that the iPad was a stumble and Ralph went off on him about that again. He was goofing on Gary for saying that when the thing hasn't come out yet.
Gary was telling Geraldo about the similarities the iPad has to the iPhone. Ralph was laughing at the clip since Gary was getting this stuff wrong according to him. In the clip Gary was telling Geraldo about his kids playing with their iTouch (iPod touch) and how they can use that instead of an iPad.
Ralph said that Gary was talking about how the kids can watch a movie on the Touch but the video is too small. Ralph said that's why people will want the iPad. Gary said he's not sure he'd spend the money on that thing when he can do the same stuff on a cheaper iPhone or Touch.
Howard and Ralph were goofing on Gary about having to give his Blackberry to someone else to set up. Gary said that even that kind of stuff can't be done by someone who is into tech. He said he just got a little help.
Ralph said that just because you see someone on TV doesn't mean they know anything. Ralph said that Gary doesn't know anything about gadgets. Gary said that's just not true. Ralph said that Gary is just regurgitating what Jon Hein said about it. Gary said that's just not true.
Gary and Ralph went back and forth for a couple of minutes arguing with each other. Gary asked Ralph what his biggest accomplishment was in his life. Ralph said it was working for the Howard Stern show. Gary said that he doesn't work for the show, he works for Howard. Ralph said he does Geektime too.
Gary said that Ralph should have said that he doesn't respect him at all. Ralph said he wants to go on Geraldo too. Howard asked Ralph if he's more of an expert than Gary is. Ralph said ''absolutely.'' Howard asked if he would go on as Gadget Ralph to compete with Gadget Gary. Ralph said he would do it. He said he's not sure about the name but he would do it.
Howard asked Gary who is better at setting up a Blackberry, Jon Hein or Jim McClure. Gary said that he's sure Ralph wouldn't know how to set it up. Ralph said he knows how to load content into his web site, does Gary? Gary said he does. They both got in plugs for their web sites while they were arguing about that. Ralph's site is MyGeekTime.com and Gary's is BabaBooey.com.
Howard asked Gary if he knows why they call keyboards ''QWERTY'' keyboards. Gary didn't know. Ralph said that it's the layout of a keyboard. Gary thought it was a type of physical keyboard. Howard said it's the set up of the keyboard. Ralph said it's staring Gary right in the face every day while he's playing Solitaire.
Ralph asked Gary if he knows what operating system is on the iPad. Gary didn't know. Ralph said that it's the same one as on the iPhone. Gary said Ralph only knows about Apple though.
Howard asked Ralph what the difference is between a component cable and a composite cable. Ralph said that he knows. He said that the component cable was just one cable and the composite was 3. That was wrong. He kind of knew what he was saying but it wasn't exactly right. Gary said he's not in competition with Ralph because he's on national TV shows and Ralph isn't. Howard had to take another break after that.
Howard came back and had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about High Pitch Eric and Angel's argument last week. Steve said that Angel got a call from someone about her alleged marriage to someone from another country. Steve said that she was telling him that there was no case to be investigated. Steve said that she's also saying that she may be going out to dinner with Ass Napkin Ed. Howard said that's what Ed was telling Gary in his voice mail.
Steve said they also have a story about Jason no longer talking politics with Scott DePace. Scott says that makes his life better.
Steve said they also have a story about Private Parts being on Chekoslovakian TV the other night. Howard said that was voted as the top movie in that country when it came out. He said they must love him over there. He said he won the film festival over there but he didn't go to get his award.
Steve got in a plug for Jackie the Joke Man's show that's on tonight at 7. Robin said that she got an email from Jackie asking her to go out to lunch with him sometime. Robin said that maybe Steve can go in place of her. Steve also mentioned that Riley Martin's show is on tonight at midnight.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show as he does every day.
Sam Simon called in and asked if Gary is competing with a show on Howard's network. He said that maybe people should be tuning into Geektime to find out about gadgets instead. Sam said that would drive him nuts if that was happening to him. Howard said that Sam can't possibly be concerned about that.
Gary said that Sam ended up paying a lot of money for a projector that he didn't have to pay big money for. He said he gave him some advice on that and Sam ended up paying more than he should have. Howard asked Gary some advice on some big screen TVs and what he should do for that. Gary said he's seen 100 inch screens but he's not sure how big you can get. Howard said he'll ask Jim McClure instead. Fred said that Sharp has a 109 inch flat screen but it's $120,000. Howard said he didn't know they were that much. Gary said he thinks the Panasonic was like $90,000.
Sam Simon called back in and said that Gary was telling him about the low priced TVs but the one he got isn't a normal commercial TV projection TV. He said it's a completely different thing. Gary told him to tell the audience what he paid for it. Sam said that he didn't remember. Gary said it was $70,000 and he could have had one for $20,000.
Sam said that Gary sent him information on a $3,000 TV. Gary said that he doesn't think that he got $65,000 worth of TV for that extra money. Howard had to cut them off and move on a short time later.
Robin had a story about how there is going to be a prayer circle for witches and wickens in the air force. She said that they're going to have their own area for ceremonies at this base she was talking about. That led to Fred playing clips of Robin laughing maniacally and Howard talking to her about hanging out with people who think they're witches. Robin said that she never joined them and she just knows people who think they're witches.
Robin read some news about a robotic sex robot. She said that the robot can carry on a conversation. Howard said that voice recognition doesn't quite work so he can imagine what that would be like. Robin said this one has 5 personalities pre-loaded. Howard said he'll stick to his Tiger Woods video. He played some of that video where they did a porn parody of Tiger's life. Howard said the movie was actually horrible.
Robin said there are people selling golf balls with Tiger's mistresses painted on them. He's sold like 40,000 of them so far. Howard said he can imagine that being a big seller. Howard said that it's like Tiger is the devil. Howard said he thought the guy was a bore but he's far from it.
Robin read a story about a dog that shot its master. She said that the dog stepped on the owner's loaded gun and it went off. The 53 year old was shot in the upper left back with number 2 shot. Robin said the guy has been released from the hospital.
Robin read about a Haitian voodoo master who is saying that Christians aren't helping his followers down in Haiti. Robin said they're taking everything for themselves.
Robin mentioned the story about the people who were arrested down there for kidnapping. She said that they've been in jail since last Friday and their attorney is saying the government is giving them the run around as he's trying to help them out. The 10 people are claiming they were just trying to bring the orphans to an orphanage.
Howard said tomorrow they're doing a ''Win Sal's Money'' game. They have a $5,000 prize thanks to Steven Singer Jewelers. He had to take a break after that quick mention.
After the break, around 10:15am, Robin got back to her news and read about Groundhog Day. Howard said he doesn't know anyone who thinks about this. Robin said they do in Pennsylvania. Robin said that Punxsutawney saw his shadow so that means 6 more weeks of winter. Robin said that another groundhog didn't see his shadow so that means an early spring. Howard asked if there is any scientific study that shows that works. Robin said there is none so it doesn't mean anything.
Robin read a story about how older people may need less sleep than younger people do. She read some details of the study and gave the details about how much less sleep you may need as you get older.
Howard said he saw that AT&T finally admitted that their cell service sucks in New York City. He said he's glad they did that because his Blackberry was really bad. He said that he's not sure why they can't fix that.
Robin had a story about Rip Torn being released from jail after his arrest over the weekend. Robin said that his lawyer says that he will be entering a rehabilitation facility immediately. Howard said that's a good idea. He broke into a bank thinking it was his house. Robin read that his slawyer said that he didn't mean any harm to anyone when he broke into the bank after hours.
Robin read a story about the weather down in Miami where the Super Bowl is going to be played. Robin said that they're off to a soggy start so far this week. Robin had some audio of some people talking about the upcoming game. Howard said he really doesn't have a favorite. Robin said some people are picking New Orleans if they don't have a favorite because they're still recovering from Hurricane Katrina down there. Howard said he's for them then.
Robin had a story about Johnny Depp saying that Roman Polanski isn't a child predator. Howard asked how Depp can know that. Robin read that he's been defending Polanski and saying that they should let him go and drop the charges against him.
Robin read a story about the defense secretary talking about how they can keep service members from being dismissed until the new laws are instituted. Robin said they're trying to figure out how to let people be openly gay and not disrupt things.
Robin read a story about a man who was trying to return his recalled Toyota truck to a dealership and ran the truck into the building when his faulty accelerator pedal got stuck.
Robin read a story about a man who lost six teeth when his cigarette exploded. She said that he sued the company and won a settlement against them.
Howard read that High Register Sean was joining the tea party. He didn't know what that meant so he got him on the line and asked what that was about. Sean told Howard he just joined and he did that on the heels of the Scott Brown thing. Sean said that he wanted to tell Howard what that was about. Howard didn't have time to listen so he had to hang up on the guy.
Robin got back to her news and had some audio of an actor talking about working with John Travolta in a new movie. Howard didn't last long with that clip.
Robin had audio of a guy talking about working with Mel Gibson in his new movie too. Howard cut that one off pretty quick too.
Robin read that the last season of ''Lost'' is starting tonight. She said that Matthew Fox is giving up on TV after that series is over. She had audio of him talking about that. Howard said it's not always up to the actor whether or not they do TV.
Robin said that American Idol is on tonight and she had some audio clips from some past guests on the show. Howard played those and listened to Adam Lambert talking about being on the show. Howard said that kid's career seems to have tanked already. Robin said that people still want to look at him. Adam was talking about how good Ellen is going to be as a judge on the show. Robin had some audio of some other guests talking about that kind of stuff too.
Robin said there may be a new reality show where people get to decide if someone should have an abortion. Robin said the show is called ''the bump'' and they can't use real people so they will have actors and actresses on the show. Howard said there is no drama in that. He said that's stupid. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:35am.
After doing a commercial Howard mentioned that he'll be giving his review of ''Wolfman'' on the show tomorrow. He said they're seeing the movie today.
Will said that you can kind of decipher a whole sentence from one word he says. Will said that they have a group of people and they seem to change the girl that he's talking about. Will said he's not sure if the guy is full retarded or not. He said he thinks that his parents are from China but he was raised in this country.
Jon asked if they were surprised when Pete knew where a vagina was. They said that it was kind of interesting to see the way he had to have Howard give him multiple choice.
Will said that Pete's friend says that Pete doesn't really know the difference between sex and making out and stuff so it may have been confusing to him.
Jon asked if Wendy the Retard is in the race for the Retarded Bachelor game they might play. Gary asked who else is there? Will told the guys that Wendy was called and woken up by Richard to get her on the air for this and she was half asleep. Jon said that Richard was laughing his ass off at anything that Wendy was saying. He may be her biggest fan.
Gary said he was able to understand Crackhead Bob and Elephant Boy. He said if you can get a word or two it's not too hard to understand. Jon said that Robin is very good at that too.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they get upset with Howard that he's not saying that he's going to keep the show going to keep them employed like Leno and Letterman and those guys do. Gary said Howard has talked about that and he does sit up at night worrying about them at times. Gary said he wouldn't want Howard to work if he didn't want to work. He wouldn't expect him to keep working just to keep them employed. He said that would suck for both sides.
The caller also asked about how few guests they've had lately. Gary said it's been a little light lately but Howard doesn't mind that. Benjy said that they're not like Geraldo who will book anyone. That led to Jon asking Gary about the way Ralph went off on him today about the gadget stuff.
Gary said what really upset him was Ralph going off on him about the iPad when no one has actually touched one. He said they're all reading about what it is. Gary said that there must be some jealousy there.
Scott the Engineer came in since he was the one who came up with the ''QWERTY'' question for Gary. Scott said he was surprised that Gary didn't know that one. Scott said that was a pretty simple question. Gary asked him why there was so much joy in that. Scott said that if you're a gadget guy you should know something simple like that. Scott said he's not sure why he's so happy but he was in the mood for it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Jason manned up a few weeks ago and said that it was tough working with Ralph. He said that Howard kind of skirted around that and since then Ralph has had his tongue up Jon's ass. He said he thinks Ralph is a cum guzzler. Gary said he sometimes wonders what camp Ralph is in.
Gary said he wanted to address the Sam Simon thing too. He said that Sam had a fire at his house and he was asking him for some advice on the TV thing. He said he told Sam that he was going to get hit up for the big money on the projector and Sam asked for the link so he could check it out. He said he wasn't telling Sam to buy that thing, it was just some advice. He said he's sure that the projector he got is a nice one but he probably didn't have to spend that kind of money on it. Gary said that Sam may think that he's not in his league when it comes to that and he's not sure why that got under his skin. He said that Sam got under his skin with that and the Geraldo thing when he said that no one is tuning into Geraldo to hear someone talk about the gadget stuff.
Gary said he heard that Sam was up there defending Ralph on a show one time and he was almost shaking from the argument. Gary said it seems that Sam thinks that Ralph can't do wrong.
A caller told Gary that he's not even playing solitaire the right way. Gary said that he just passes time playing the game. He said he's not looking for anything more than that. The caller told him that he has to play it the right way. Gary said it's not that important to him.
Another caller said he wanted to talk about the QWERTY thing. He said that Scott doesn't even know where that came from. He said that when the personal computer came about they developed an alternate keyboard to type on and that's how they came up with the standard and the Dvorak keyboard. Benjy said he heard that they did the QWERTY key layout on a typewriter to stop the keys from getting stuck. The caller said that it was when they were standardizing everything that they came up with the Dvorak keyboard. No one knew what the hell they were talking about. Gary said they had covered that enough and he wanted to move on.
Gary said that Ralph also asked why he had to have someone come in and hook everything up in his house. Gary said that he has a lot more square footage and equipment in the house to do that stuff. Jon said there's also the time issue. He said Ralph has more time to set up something like that. s
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they think that Scott DePace lacks human emotion. Gary said he doesn't lack emotion but he might lack compassion at times. Will said he thinks he's a reasonable guy. He said that Scott has always been good to him. Jason said that he was missing the point and it was about the way Scott was unable to understand why Gary did what he did with Jon Hein and not going to CES.
Jason said that he's the one who told him the Sam Simon story about him getting all worked up on a show there. It was an Intern show back in 2006 that he was on when he got all worked up. Jason said that he appreciates Gary keeping his name out of it but he's okay talking about it. Steve Brandano said that he remembers that and Sam was defending Ralph on that show.
Ralph called in and said that he thanks Sam for defending him. He didn't remember that. Ralph told Gary that he thought it was funny that Gary was talking about gadgets when he's no expert. He said it annoys him when people talk about the iPad when it hasn't even come out yet. Ralph said at this point it might even have a camera in it when it comes out. Ralph was also saying that Gary was saying megabyte and not gigabyte when he talked about the memory.
Gary said there are a lot of things missing from this iPad and he's not the only one saying that. Ralph said that Gary was saying it was a big stumble for them when it hasn't even come out. Gary said that they can have a stumble and still sell a lot.
Gary said it's like talking about a movie before it comes out and that's what people do. He doesn't get why Ralph is so attached to the iPad. Ralph said he's not. He said he would know a little bit more about what he was talking about before he'd go on a show like that. Gary asked what he didn't know. Ralph said he hasn't touched it yet so he doesn't know hat it's going to be like. Gary said no one has touched it yet. Gary said he's not the only one commenting on the iPad before it came out. Ralph said that they can't bad mouth it before it comes out. Ralph said that he's not saying it's that great yet either because he hasn't seen one yet either.
Ralph said that Jon might be just as dopey as Gary about this thing too. He said he's wrong about it too. Jon said he's basing it on what he's seen in the specs. Ralph asked what's wrong with the specs on it. Jon said it doesn't have a camera. Ralph said it doesn't need a camera. He said you don't want to hold that thing up and take pictures with it.
Jon told Ralph that Apple has had missteps like the Apple TV. Ralph said he's not defending everything they do. Jon said that it sounds that way. Jon said that everyone is speculating on it right now and he'd love for it to be huge but he doesn't think it will be based on what he's seen so far.
Gary said he owns a Macbook and a computer, an iPhone and an iTouch (iPod Touch) so he likes Apple products. He said that he's going on the information that they've given out so far.
Gary and Ralph talked some more and Ralph was saying he knows that Gary works really hard. He said he was just busting his balls and thought it was goofy that he was doing this gadget Gary thing on Geraldo.
Gary said that he once worked with a producer at one point and a producer said that Ralph was being contentious and Ralph didn't know what it meant but he said that he didn't like it anyway.
Sam Simon called in again and said that he doesn't know what Gary's problem is with him. He said he knows that Gary has the home theater and all so he was looking into some products and asked for Gary's advice. Gary said that Sam asked him for the link to this projector and he just ignored it. Sam said that's not what happened. Sam said that Gary told him he was going to be ripped off with the projector thing and he sent him that link so he could look into it.
Sam told Gary that the projectors that he was looking into were completely different. He said that the one he wanted was for something that wouldn't have worked with the one he sent the link for. Sam said he was never saying that he was living in another world or something. Jason said that he was saying that though. He said that Sam told Gary that he was buying something commercial and he was in a different world.
Gary said it seems like Sam was taking a shot at him and he was just trying to help him out. Gary said he knows he's not in the same world as Sam is when it comes to a home theater. Gary said maybe he was talking about the wrong type of projector.
Gary said he knows a neighbor who wants a home theater and he told the guy that he might get an estimate that's not going to include everything he needs or they'll put too much stuff that he doesn't need in the estimate.
Ralph said Gary sounds like an expert talking about that stuff. He said that he should be talking about that kind of stuff on the shows he's doing.
Gary asked Sam why he called Howard this morning. Sam said that he was calling to talk to Howard about doing a competing show with Howard's shows. Gary said that one show is on national TV and one is on Howard 101 in the afternoon on a Saturday. Sam said that all of these things are competing in the world of entertainment. Gary said that he was also promoting SIRIUS when he was on.
Jason said that Geraldo isn't a tech show and he just had his buddy Gary on to talk about some gadgets. He said that Geektime is a tech show and they're not the same thing.
Jon said he wasn't sure where they were so he waned to rein them all in. He asked Sam if he heard Jason talking about the time he was on the Intern Show defending Ralph. Sam said he didn't think he was near tears. Jason said that's the way he remembers it.
Sam told Gary that he found it odd that Gary was going on another show to talk about the same kind of stuff that they talk about on Geektime. Gary said that he wasn't ripping them off or anything. Ralph was laughing as he was goofing on Gary for talking about the Sony eBook reader on that show. He said no one else is doing that.
Jason got in a plug for Geektime since they're doing a live show this Saturday. They had to go to break after that.
Jon said that Howard was upset with Benjy about the 3/5 thing because he kept saying that it wasn't in the Constitution. Benjy said he knows it was in the Constitution but he still thinks that Howard was wrong about it meaning black people.
Jon asked Benjy about being in the studio since Howard was talking about how he could do the job anywhere else. Benjy said Howard wanted him in there. Jon said that's not what Howard said. Benjy said Howard wanted him in there and he likes it in there. He said it was Howard's ultimate decision.
Jon played a clip where Howard was going off on Benjy about staring at him and how he didn't care what he had to say about what they were discussing. That's when they started arguing about the Constitution thing.
After the clip Jason said that Benjy mentioned that Dread Scott decision thing and that came out in 1857. He said he had to look that up today, he didn't know that off his head.
Gary said he loves that impression that Fred does of Benjy when he gets off mic and just starts blurting stuff out like Benjy.
Jon said that Benjy never admitted to being wrong. Benjy said he wasn't wrong about the Constitution saying that a black person is considered 3/5 of a person.
Gary said that in the days when they did the trips to Las Vegas Howard would get really irritated with Benjy. He said that Benjy wouldn't be in the room and he would make a case for being out in the open. Jason said they stuck him behind the stage one year. Benjy said he likes being in the studio and he thinks that whatever Howard is fine with is good for him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Benjy is great for the show. He said he's funny as shit and he's not sure why Howard is so hard on him. The guy said that when Benjy gets to talk it brings out the best in Howard and even Fred when he does his impression of him. He's not sure why Howard is so hard on him.
Gary said that it's almost become a character on the show. He said that Benjy has a very big voice in their weekly meetings and Howard thinks he's great as a writer. He may not love him that much on the air but he has his peaks and valleys.
Another caller said that the 3/5 rule actually discouraged slavery. He said that's why the rule was enacted. They ended up talking about the Constitution and how they've changed it over the years.
A caller said that he wants less Benjy on the show. He said he disagrees with that other caller who wants more. He said when Benjy comes on the show comes to a stand still and they never know what he's trying to say. The guy said he should be back in the room with Sal and Richard. Will said that would be really tough because there are a lot of distractions out there.
Jon asked how Richard or Sal would do in the chair. Gary said that Richard might be better than Sal. The idea of being in there is to be unnoticed and that would be very hard for Sal. will said that they both have a hard time letting go of jokes that aren't funny. They would keep doing them until Howard read it so that would be a fear he'd have.
Another caller said that Howard can't get rid of Benjy because he needs him so much. He said he hates Benjy because he's so annoying though. The guy said you never know what point he's trying to make.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard is showing how much he hates Benjy and how annoying he is on the show. He said he doesn't get why they have him on the Wrap Up Show when Howard hates him so much. Gary said that they like Benjy in there. Gary said that Howard has never said anything to him about Benjy dragging the show down. The caller said that he does drag it down though.
Gary said this Benjy thing has never come up in conversation. Jason was wondering if they would talk about getting rid of Benjy if they didn't want him on the show. Gary said that he and Jon would talk about it but it's never come up.
Another caller said that Benjy deserved everything he got on the air today. He said he was cutting off Howard and interjecting when he didn't have to. Jon cut him off and told him that they were going to give him some Crumbs bake shop cupcakes as a prize.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about the band contest they have going on and why they can only fly in 3 people. Jason said they can only fly in 3 but you can have as many members in the band as you want.
The caller was also asking why Howard was saying ''right'' so many times today. Jason said he didn't notice that. He said that Howard has stopped using ''The fact of the matter is...'' since so many people were complaining about it. Gary said he's also working on the way he says ''horrible'' since people were complaining about that.
Jon said he spoke to Howard's parents a while back and they were saying that he's a very quick study and he was willing to change. Jason said that Howard has gotten rid of that ''face of the matter'' thing completely.
Scott DePace came in and said that he thinks that Benjy is talented beyond belief and they shouldn't be bashing him so much. Jason thought that it was Scott and Doug's decision to keep Benjy off the stage during the live shows in Vegas. Scott said that it wasn't that they wanted to keep him off the stage. They wanted to keep him hidden.
Scott and Jason were arguing over some stuff that had happened in the past at live shows. Jason was like 22 years old at the time telling them how to produce the shows and Scott said that they would tell him to get Gary to talk about it. Jason said that he was just thinking that they were saying this stuff was too hard to do and the budget never came into it but Scott was claiming that's what it was about.
Scott was back on the discussion about Gary going to the Bat Mitzvah again. They got into that for a couple more minutes and went over the same thing over and over again. Everyone except Scott seemed to get why Gary went to the Bat Mitzvah. Will was defending Scott and telling them not to judge Scott on what he thinks is the right thing to do.
Jon took one last call before ending the show. The caller told Gary not to worry about playing Solitaire so much. He said he does that all the time himself. He said he just has to make sure no one catches him. They ended the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how much fun they have there every day. He said he has a long day ahead of him today and he wants to go back to bed right now. Robin said her day never ended yesterday. She said she saw the movie and then went to a book party for Melissa Rivers. Howard said she's complaining about going to movies and book parties. Robin said she tries to support Melissa and Joan in whatever they do. Robin said Melissa told her to tell Howard about how she wrote the book herself.
Howard did an impression of Joan talking about her ghost, Mrs. Spencer, and asked if Robin asked her about that. Robin said that she didn't have time to ask about that. Howard said that he found out more about that ghost story and found out that she never said what her name was. The Super in the building told her that it was Mrs. Spencer. He said that Joan never heard the name from the ghost or anything.
Howard asked Robin what book Melissa wrote. Robin said it's called ''Red Carpet Ready'' and she hasn't read it yet. She said she will check it out when she has a chance. Robin said she wasn't able to ask Melissa what it was about either. She said she didn't even read the book flap yet.
Howard asked Robin what she wore there. Robin said she got dressed up after the movie. Howard said she must have been a sight for sore eyes. Howard asked if she was the biggest name there. Robin said that Bernadette Peters was there as well. Robin said that Beth's good friend Jill Martin was there. Howard made fun of Robin doing an impression of her talking to all of these people.
Robin said Wendy Williams was there. Howard asked what she had to say. Robin said she said hello and wanted her to say hi to everyone there. Howard asked who else was there. Robin said that there was a Kathy there that knows Beth. Howard knew who she was talking about. Robin said Rosanna Scotto was there. Howard said he's been to her home. He said he had a whole meal there at her house.
Robin said she spoke to one guy who hated the movie. Howard said there were a couple who didn't like it. He said Richie Wilson liked it. Ralph liked it too. They're calling him ''Techno Berry'' instead of Gadget Ralph now. Howard said that's what he came up with yesterday.
Howard talked about the other movie that Benicio was in called ''Che'' and how he thinks that people don't realize what a scumbag that Che Guevara was. Howard said he hates communists and no one would want to live anywhere that's communist. Howard said that anyone who gets out of a country like Cuba kisses the ground when they get here to the United States.
Robin said that anyone who comes here sees nothing but opportunities and when they're born here then they see nothing but obstacles.
Howard said he hates seeing people wearing ''Che'' t-shirts. He also talked about the DVD set for that movie and how it's way to long to watch. He said he and Beth never get around to watching it.
JD told Howard to just play the voice mail. He didn't want to hear anything about it. He said he and Ashley have been texting and he said she's talking about going out again maybe this week.
Howard told JD that he has to sound confident in his voice mails. He said that the opening sentence is reminding her who he is. JD said that was a joke. Howard said it didn't sound like a joke to him. Howard asked when he became a jokester. JD told him to just play the voice mail and then took off his headphones. Howard told him to put them back on.
Howard said JD was fumfering too much in this voice mail. He said he's also reminding her of who he is too much. Howard said she's not going to forget who he is. She spent an hour with him on a date.
Howard played the voice mail that JD left where he says he's JD from the Howard Stern Show and reminded her that they had hot chocolate a couple of weeks ago. JD said he knew it was going to be the worst voice mail ever. He said he was checking in to see how her trip went and wanted to find out if she wanted to do something this weekend.
Howard asked JD how many ''uh'' he has to put into that thing. He said JD sounds depressed and monotone in the call. Howard did an impression of him and goofed on him for a short time. Robin said she didn't like him calling her ''Miss Ashley'' either. Howard didn't like that either.
Howard said JD is a very witty guy but when it comes to women he gets all wacky. He said that he might as well have told her that he never wanted to get laid ever again in that message.
Howard played the end of the voice mail where JD says goodbye to Ashley. Howard and Fred did more of their impressions and goofed on him some more. Howard said he's never seen JD so smitten with someone. JD said he's not in love but he may have a crush on her.
Howard, Fred and Robin were all doing their JD impressions and making fun of all of the stuff he was saying to Ashley in that message. Howard said the opening sentence is the most important thing in a voice mail like that. Howard said that it might even be a good idea to have another woman talking behind him to make it sound like he has another girl there. That might make Ashley jealous.
Robin was telling JD what she could be saying behind him and JD said he hopes that Richard is isolating all of those clips. Robin said she was going to shut up after that.
JD said he may have come off dorky but he'd rather that than be douchy. Howard said he came off as both. Howard said even Elephant Boy had a better rap when he called that dating service when he was looking for a couple to hook up with. That led to Howard playing that clip.
Howard said that the girl is just going to hear the negative in that voice mail. JD said he was just being himself though. Howard said he's trying to help him out with this. He said he has to write stuff down before he calls her. He said if he wants to get in her pants then he has to be smoother.
JD said he's very attracted to her but he's not sure that it's going to happen. He said that she's said that she's not looking to be in a relationship. Howard said he has to leave out the names of other dudes she's been with too. He actually mentioned one guy, Mark Sanchez, in the voice mail. Howard goofed on him about that too.
Howard told JD he should have told her he would give her a dirty Sanchez instead of talking about Mark Sanchez.
JD said he can't wait for the Wrap Up Show today. Howard said that will be soon enough. He then replayed the voice mail and told JD that he's very memorable. He said he doesn't need to tell her who he is. Howard said that she's going to remember him from that hot chocolate date. JD said he's sorry he's not Sid Caesar or someone who says something funny all the time.
Howard did his impression of JD telling Ashley who he is and giving her every detail about what she was wearing and who their waiter was and all of that. Howard said JD was being ridiculous.
Howard made fun of JD about having a zit on his face the day of that date. JD was laughing at all of this but he was also sighing when they'd bring some of that stuff up.
Howard told JD he can't start off that way reminding her of who he was. JD said he was joking. He said he's not a stand-up comedian though. Robin said he's not Steven Wright. JD said he finds that guy funny. Howard did an impression of Steven Wright. Fred did his impression too.
Howard replayed JD's voice mail again. This time he and Robin noticed something else he said on there where he was telling her that he was getting a text during the voice mail. Howard said he wants JD to think things through first and not be spontaneous.
Howard played the voice mail again and Robin laughed at it again. Howard goofed on the monotone that JD was doing. Howard and Robin goofed on him for mentioning Mark Sanchez in the call again. They did like his ''Bye'' at the end of the call. JD said that was his impression of Richard Christy's ''bye.''
JD told Howard he finally got it and now he can play the call over and over again. Howard said hopefully Ashley didn't understand most of what JD was saying in the voice mail. Howard told him to ask Benjy for some help. He said Benjy knows how to fuck. Robin asked Benjy if he would help write a voice mail message. JD said he wants to write it himself.
Howard said Benjy is getting like 4 or 5 girls a week with his dating. Benjy said it's never over until the restraining order shows up. He told JD to keep trying. Howard said that Ashley may have had a hard time hearing JD's call with Mark Sanchez being on top of her.
A caller said that he was dating Ashley for 2 years and he was with her when JD called. He said that it's making him look great so he told JD to keep calling. Howard said he didn't think she had a boyfriend. He may have been kidding.
Another caller said JD sounded terrified in the call. JD said he doesn't like leaving voice mails because of shit like this. He said he knows it wasn't a good voice mail. Howard asked Robin if JD can call her and practice on her. Robin said he can do that and she'll even save them for the air.
Howard said they could have a great movie there. Robin falls in love with JD when he starts leaving test voice mails for her. Howard said she'd fall for him and then she'd chase him and Ashley down and kill them.
JD said he doesn't want to talk about this anymore. He said he's attracted to Ashley but he's not just trying to get laid.
Jeff the Drunk called in and told JD he sounds like a fuckin' loser. Howard said that's Jeff the Drunk telling him that. JD said that Jeff calls in and hits on the interns every day. Howard told Jeff to pretend he's calling Ashley. Jeff did that and told Ashley to call him back if she wanted to fuck.
Another caller said JD did 26 ''Uh, ooo, uhh'' comments in that voice mail. Howard asked if that was really how many times he did that. The caller said he lost track. Howard said he should do an actual count.
Howard pretended to be Ashley and had JD leave her a message. JD kept it short and simple. Howard said it was better but he has to add some personality to it. Howard said they should call her and leave a voice mail for her now.
Howard asked JD if he wanted Robin to moan in the background. Howard said they could have her moaning and telling him she wants him again. Robin was showing him what she'd do. Fred was doing his JD impression talking back to her.
Howard told JD to make the call now but JD said he didn't want to do it. He said that he wasn't ready for that. Howard told him to just look at him and he'd loosen up. Howard was giving him some advice on what to do. He also asked who he can talk to and feel comfortable leaving a message for. JD said it's never a girl, it might be someone like Jon Hein. Howard told him to pretend he's talking to Jon then.
Howard asked JD if he wanted to do it now. JD said he didn't care but he's not sure if she's listening. He said that she might wake up and pick up the phone. Robin said that she probably has it turned off or something.
Howard asked Gary if he could figure out how to dial the phone. Gary told him how to do it but Howard told him to do it for him.
Howard asked Gary if he knows how to get right into Ashley's voice mail. Gary didn't know how to do it. He said he had to look up how to do that. Howard told JD he can't fuck this up so he told him to rehearse. JD said he had to go get the phone first.
Howard and the guys talked about what they had to do with JD to get him ready for this whole thing. JD came back and had something ready for her. JD said that he was going to tell her he regrets giving her permission to play that voice mail on the air. Howard said he liked that. He gave JD some advice on what else to say to her and told him to keep it short.
Gary said that he was going to go dial the number out in his office and then he'd tell Howard when to pick up. JD said that they had to make sure her number didn't get out on the air. Gary told Howard which line he was going to use and how they were going to do this. It was really getting complicated. Howard said he felt like he was 4 and making phony phone calls.
Gary called the number but he got a busy signal. She must have been getting calls from all of her other boyfriends. Gary finally got it ringing. Howard didn't want her number on the air so Gary had to have him wait for a moment.
Howard got the voice mail and told JD to do his thing. JD did a quick joke about giving her permission to play the voice mail and told her to give him a call because he's been thinking about her. Howard said that was better but he may have to do something different. He was thinking about having him call back and leave another one. JD said he didn't want this to turn into ''Swingers.''
High Pitch Eric called in and said he knows how to leave a message better than JD does. JD said Eric knows how to leave death threats. Eric told him how to do his thing. Eric said that he could ask her out again instead of mumbling his words the way he did. Howard thanked him for the advice and let him go. Howard said Eric just wants to eat chocolate.
Howard said he wants JD to win that date with Ashley. He said he hopes that wipes out the effect of that other message. JD said she thought that message was cute by the way. Howard told JD he could leave after that. Howard said he had to take a break after that. He asked if anyone else needed their life fixed. Howard said he's Dr. Howie and he's ready to help save some people.
Howard came back and said that they're going to be playing Win Sal's Money later on with Benjy's girlfriend Sarah. Howard said that they're going to be playing for a $5,000 prize. Howard said that Sarah is going to have to know some answers to beat Sal. He said that shouldn't be too tough. The money is coming from Steven Singer Jewelers.
Howard said he was reading that the censor for the Grammy's the other night was the reason for the poor editing of the Eminem song that was bleeped. He said that they say the guy didn't know how to use the button and that's why it was so chopped up.
Howard said he got a bunch of love songs about Robin. He said that he had one from Little Mikey. He said this might be one of the best he's heard. He played that song and it was ''Put My Little Cock in Your Twat.'' Howard said he loves that guy's voice. He said he likes that Robin gets these love songs. He had another one from this guy Psyche. He did a parody to the tune of Kings of Leon ''Use Somebody'' which was ''Use Her Body.'' Howard said Little Mikey also sent in another one. That was ''So Big and Brown'' about her boobs.
Lisa said that the lead singer for Richard's band was there. She said that Ripper Owens used to sing for Judas Priest. Howard asked if she asked him why he's singing for Richard's band. Lisa said that everyone is glad that Richard is back to drumming.
Lisa said that they spoke to attorney Robert Durshowitz and he was saying that Howard was absolutely right about the Constitution yesterday. Howard said he's glad that he said that. Benjy still insists that it never said that in there.
Lisa said that Howard is a running theme in a new movie that's coming out soon. Lisa said that the writer of the movie said that one of the characters is a huge Stern fan. Lisa said that Amanda Peet is also in the film. Howard asked why he's not in a new movie. He said he needs to be in one and he really needs to get off his ass and get into one. He said he gets nothing but shitty scripts though. Lisa wrapped up a short time later.
Lisa said something at the end of the report that Howard zoned out on. Robin zoned out too and she wasn't even sure what she said. It was something about Scott Ferrall and the Super Bowl with a bunch of different languages.
Howard read that Ryan Seacrest is being stalked by some dude. He read that article where they talked about the guy getting busted over the stalking thing. Howard said the guy appears to be black. He said he's kind of the color of Tiger Woods. He read that the guy was arrested with a knife when he was trying to get into the E! studios. Howard said that's kind of scary.
Howard said that guy should end up in jail if he was running around with a knife. Howard said sometimes these guys don't go to jail and it makes you wonder what the hell is going on. Howard read that this guy has been caught with knives in the past when he's tried to meet with Seacrest.
Howard read a story about Mel Gibson having another meltdown. Howard said Craig Gass sent him that story. He said he saw that Mel got upset during an interview. He said that he's out promoting his new movie and people are asking him about some stuff he's said in the past. He said that Mel can't believe that people are asking him about his bizarre behavior.
Howard said that Mel is catholic and he's surprised when people ask him about leaving his wife. Howard said this reporter that got chewed out by Mel wasn't doing anything that crazy. Howard said Mel is in denial and he just wants all of this to go away.
Howard said in the interview Mel calls the guy an asshole when he thinks that he's off the air but he's actually still on the satellite feed. Howard played the clip and the interviewer was asking Mel about his ups and downs over the past 4 or 5 years. Mel said that he's the same guy he's always been but he's learned as he's gone along. The interviewer asked if he felt he was going to be thought of differently since the drinking and the anti-Semitic rant. Mel said that was almost 4 years ago and he's moved on. The interviewer asked if he thinks that the public has moved on. Mel said that it was a while back and he hopes they have moved on. Mel told the guy to just move on. The guy gave him a plug for his movie and Mel said ''asshole...'' when the interview was over.
Howard said he likes this guy who did the interview. His name was Dean Richards. Howard said that he's now going to be Dean Asshole Richards.
Robin said that Mel sounds so dumb in these interviews. She said that she used to think he was smart but now she sees how dumb he really is.
Howard said Craig Gass wrote to him about that clip and told him that he was going to see just how annoying Mel really was. Howard said he could listen to that clip all day long. Robin said she liked it too and it's like the Dead Sea scrolls that you could talk about all day.
Howard said Mel Gibson can't figure out why people are bringing that shit up. He said he's really bad at handling it too.
Howard said that Hanzi called in and said that his name was Imran Khan and it turns out that's the name of a famous Pakistani football player. He wondered if Hanzi could really have the same name. Robin didn't believe that was possible.
There were people who were mixed about Benjy being in the studio. Some people want him out, some people love him in there and want to hear him even more. Howard said that someone threatened to leave the show to go listen to Mike and Mike if they don't get him off the show.
Howard said there were some fans of Benjy in there and they were wanting more of him on the air. Howard said that some people like Fred's impression of Benjy. Howard said he likes that too.
Howard read some feedback about the Constitution discussions they had yesterday. Some people were pointing out what they were talking about and correcting them on some of the stuff they brought up. Some people pointed out that Howard was right in the argument with Benjy.
Howard said everyone loved Pete the Asian Virgin on the show. Howard read some of that email and said that it was a lot of work trying to interview Pete. He had a bunch of emails about how great that interview was. People were talking about how funny it was. One guy said he had to pull off to the side of the road because he was laughing so hard.
Howard read some feedback about Gadget Gary and Gadget Ralph. He read some mail from people who want Ralph kept off the show. There were a lot of pro-Gary emails. There was someone who wrote in saying that Ralph should be called Techno-Berry.
One person wrote in about the design of Ralph's web site that looks like it was designed by a 3 year old. Howard said that Ralph can't even get his own web site on his iPhone. Gary said that's because it runs in Flash and the iPhone doesn't support it.
Howard read some email about Sam Simon's calls to the show. Sam called in during the Wrap Up Show too so Howard played some of that audio. Sam was defending Ralph and the two of them were laughing together like they were gay.
Howard didn't get what Sam's point was about Gary doing the Geraldo show while Geektime is on. Gary said that's not even what he was saying. The two shows aren't on at the same time. Howard played more of the clip where Gary was asking Sam about why he was backing Ralph up in his arguments with Gary. Gary was arguing with Sam about his comments about doing a competing show. Rboin aksed if Sam is out of his mind and said that she's shocked at his comments.
Howard said his favorite part of that Gary tape is when he does the Gary math. He and Robin did impressions of that part of the tape and goofed on Gary about that. Howard said that Gary claims that girl got back together with him but he doesn't believe that. Gary said he swears she did.
Howard and Robin kept doing the impressions of Gary and said that he does everything wrong in that tape. Howard said that everything he did in that video was one thing after the other that was just wrong.
Robin and Howard talked about some of their other favorite moments from that Gary tape. Howard said that's the greatest tape ever. He said he's had desperate times in his life but he's never been that desperate. He said he should play that tape again. He said that they don't have to break every minute. Fred said they should take a break but they can play it when they get back.
Gary said he has a clip for him to play. He said he had to call Tim for something and he was on the phone with him and Tim started to sneeze. He said it's really funny.
Howard played the clip where Gary was talking to Tim and Tim starts to sneeze in the middle of the conversation. Tim let out one big one. Howard said that did buy Gary some time.
Howard said he had heard about this movie that Amanda Peet is in and how they had talked about him in it. He said he wanted to get some clips and Tim called Marshall Fine to try and get some audio clips. Howard said Marshall is a friend of his and he didn't want Tim calling him to get clips. He said he wants them to leave the guy alone. Howard said he wants to call the film studio to get the clips. Howard said it wasn't that big of a deal.
Howard said Gary then went to Tim and asked him about what went on with Marshall Fine. Gary said he was trying to get some other numbers. Tim came in and said that he was trying to get the numbers for the movie studio so he could get the clips. Tim said that he's friends with Marshall so that's why he called him.
Howard said Scott reminds him of a sad sack with that monotone voice he talks in with the look on his face he has. He said that Scott will explode out of nowhere sometimes. He said he's filled with rage and he lets it out once in a while. That led to them playing some old tapes of Scott yelling at Howard over his push-up challenge.
Howard said Scott is like Wolfman. He played another clip where he was yelling at him and saying ''C'mon! Let's do it!'' during the push-up challenge.
They played clips of Scott yelling at Mike Gange around that time of the push-up challenge too. He was yelling at Mike to get the camera out of his studio. Howard said he was upset about the guys taping him at his gym. That's what all of the yelling was about. Scott said he didn't want his secret work out to be seen.
Howard noticed that Scott was looking old. He had a lot of hanging skin. Scott said that's from losing weight.
Scott explained that he got into the fight with Tim yesterday over the plug that he has at the end of the show. Scott said Tim was trying to find out who approved the plug he has on the show. Scott said it was Tim who approved the plug. Howard actually wrote the plug himself.
Howard said he has no memory of any of that so when Tim asked about it he had no idea that he had approved it. Howard said he wondered if they were giving plugs to everyone for anything. He said he wants to help Scott out on some level but this is a plug for his son's band. Howard said his son is old enough to get his own thing going and he's still got this dream of making this band work. Howard said it might not happen.
Howard said he thinks that Scott wants the band to happen even more than the kid does. Howard said that Lady Gaga is turning 24 in May. She's already made it. Scott said that the band hasn't had anything major happen for it with the plugs. He said he's fine if they want to pull the plug on the plugs.
Howard asked Scott when they're going to give up on the band. Scott said that he didn't understand where that was coming from yesterday so that's why he and Tim were yelling. He said that's why he got upset. Howard asked why he'd yell over something like that. Scott said that it was Howard who gave him the plug so he thought Tim had an attitude so that's why he got into it.
Howard said Scott is lucky he gets that plug and he should be happy he gets it at all. Howard said he shouldn't be yelling at his boss about it. Howard said that Scott cornered Pat Monahan at his wedding to talk to him about the band. Scott said he didn't corner him.
Howard asked Scott what he was yelling at Tim about in the hallway there yesterday. Scott said he was just questioning where it all came from. Howard said that he can't be doing that. He said that it shouldn't matter why Tim is asking. He said he's the boss there. Scott said he tried explaining to Tim where the plug came from and Tim didn't understand. He said he shouldn't have exploded. Howard said he's a very angry guy. Scott said he's really not an angry guy.
Howard asked if he's upset that his mother told him about the black cloud curse he has on him. Scott said little things build up inside of him and they come out eventually. Howard tried to figure out where the anger comes from and asked Scott how he can change it. Scott said he tries to tell himself how to get passed them.
Howard told Scott he can't yell at Tim. Scott said he knows that and he emailed him yesterday apologizing. Howard told him that he could get fired for something like that. Scott said he knows that. Howard told him maybe he should stick to emailing people instead of yelling at them.
Howard said he felt bad taking the plug away from him. He told them to leave it in there. He said he never even listens to that stuff anyway. He said he tunes over to Howard 101 when he hears Fred doing the plugs.
Howard said people do take advantage of him. He said that he's a nice guy and they take advantage. Gary told Howard that Scott was telling them that his son wanted to get out of the band and Scott convinced him to keep going. Howard said he heard that story. Scott said that he didn't push his son into it. He said his son got back into it himself and he just told him that they'd back him up in whatever he does. Scott said that he didn't push him into it at all.
Howard said that Scott is like Andre Agassi's father with that stuff. Howard wondered if he's going to lose his hair like Scott did. Scott said he's got good hair and he's keeping it so far. He said he doesn't think he's going to lose it.
Howard said that the plug has to go away at some point. Scott said he could take it out and throw it in there once in a while.
Howard took a call from a guy pretending to be Scott's mother. She told Scott he's a loser and the music stinks. Howard let her go after that.
Howard came back and asked what happened to that guy from REM. Robin said she thinks that they're inactive right now. She wasn't sure if they broke up or not.
Howard said that Benjy's girlfriend Sarah just came in to play against Sal in ''Win Sal's Money'' and Benjy lit up. He said that he looks like he's in love. Benjy said that he does love her. He said that he thinks she's a wonderful person. Howard said she's way in love with Benjy too. He said he thinks that's what she's said to him but Benjy wanted her to say it on her own.
Howard said that Sarah has been dating Benjy since she last appeared on the show. Howard said she was trying to date this guy Antonio Sabato Jr. on a TV show and she didn't seem that interested in him. Howard said she's more than interested in Benjy though. Howard said that they became friends through Facebook and the rest is history.
Howard had Sarah come in to play the game. He said she was looking as cute as ever. Howard said she looked hot this morning. Sarah thanked him for that. Howard asked if she enjoyed that Christmas party. She said she did. She said she may have grabbed Benjy's penis but she didn't remember doing it. She said she does it by habit sometimes.
Howard said that Sarah thinks that she's more in love with Benjy than she thinks Benjy is with her. Sarah said that Benjy is really cool and likes to talk to her a lot. She said that Sal told her about him and then they found each other on Facebook. Howard said that a lot of guys must hit on her. She said that's true. She said that Benjy is very persistent. Howard said she must have wondered who this asshole was. She said that Benjy wouldn't leave her house the first weekend he was there. She said that she didn't know he wasn't going to leave.
Howard said Sarah looked really good on the show when she was there and she's a lot of fun. Howard asked what Benjy wrote to her on Facebook. She said that he asked a lot of questions and made her feel really special. Howard asked about her working in a strip club and how the guys there must not think of her more than a piece of meat. She said that's true.
Sarah said that Benjy came in and looked at everything in her apartment and said he wanted to know everything about her. That's what works for Benjy. Howard said that Sarah wasn't attracted to Benjy at first. She said that she wasn't at first. She said he was kind of a turn off at first. Howard said this is a real success story for Benjy and her. He said that she had no interest in him at all on that first date.
Howard asked Sarah if she asked Benjy to leave. She said that he gets you to forget what you're doing when he's with you. She said she forgot what she was doing and he wormed his way into her life. Howard asked Sarah when it changed. Sarah said they were still talking after that and they kept talking. She said that there was no romance that first weekend. She said they may have kissed but she doesn't remember.
Benjy said they were hanging out and there was definitely something going on. They didn't have sex but they slept in the same bed. Benjy said they didn't have sex for like a month or two. Sarah said she didn't want to do anything with anyone. She said it wasn't just Benjy.
Sarah said that she went to Benjy's place for their second date. She said that Benjy has what she needs and it might be his imagination sexually. She said that he's really good that way. Howard said he's a sexual freak. He asked Sarah if he will say to her that he wants to do something. She said that he'll just do it. She said that he always turns the lights off. Robin said that's about right for Benjy. Sarah said that Benjy treats her like a pet. She wasn't sure exactly what he did and kept saying ''I don't know...'' when they'd ask her about what he does. She said that Benjy does some love talk and tells her that she's all his and things like that.
Howard asked Sarah if she would be upset if Benjy left her. She said she would be sad. She said she's attached to him. Howard asked if she's his girlfriend. She said that she's not with anyone else but Benjy is the one who is all weird about it. She said she'd like to know that he's not having sex with anyone else.
Benjy said that he's exclusive with her right now. Sarah said that he's a control freak and that's the one thing that bothers her. Howard asked if Sarah thinks that he loves her. She rolled her eyes. She said that she thinks that he lusts for her but not love. She said she thinks that it's more about the sex than anything. Benjy said that the first 6 months to a year might be that lust thing.
Sarah said that Benjy likes to teach her stuff and he makes her watch things on TV to learn. She said she just wants to watch TV and not learn sometimes. Benjy said that he is in love with this girl. Howard told him not to waste his time with her if he's not in love. Benjy said that he's worried about hurting her and he doesn't want to do that.
Sarah said that Benjy plays games with her like they're in high school. She said that he'll get her riled up and stuff and it's like he's trying to make her jealous. Howard told Benjy that she digs him and he has to stop giving her a hard time. Howard asked Sarah what she would do if he asked her to get engaged. She said she wouldn't do it. She said that Benjy needs to do some work on himself first. She said he needs to grow up. She said she knows that she's immature but Benjy is really immature.
Sarah said that Benjy's apartment is one thing he has to clean up. She said he did do that when she told him about it. Sarah said she felt like it was a college dorm room or something.
Howard asked if she's met his family. Sarah said that she hasn't met anyone yet. Howard asked her about that and found out that neither of them have introduced the other to their family.
Howard asked how Benjy got her naked the first time. She said that he tells her that she can't wear clothes in his bed. She also said that she's never really seen Benjy naked. He wears a t-shirt while they have sex too. Howard said maybe his body is gross. He asked if he's a good lover. Sarah said he's up there. She said that he has a big thing. Robin said that he's said he doesn't have a big one. Benjy said it's small when he's flaccid. Sarah said that they have sex a few times a day when they're together.
Howard said maybe Benjy is fucking her too much. She said she likes it. Howard asked if it's too much. She said she loves sex and he's able to give her an orgasm. She said that she'd rather fuck him than have him lick her too. Howard said he hears that a lot from women lately.
Howard said Benjy is a lucky man. He said that Sarah is a beautiful woman. Benjy said that he thought she was stunning looking that first day she was in there. Howard asked if she gives him ass play. Sarah said she doesn't do that. Sarah said that Benjy will tease her about it but they don't do that. Benjy said that it's better in the mind than the real thing.
Howard asked Sarah if she would bring other women into bed. She said that Benjy brings that up all the time but they haven't done that yet. She said that she might be able to find someone but it might take a while.
Howard asked Sarah if she thinks that Benjy won't take his shirt off because he's afraid that his boobs are bigger than her's. She just laughed.
Howard asked Sarah what she's doing for work. She used to strip and she hasn't been doing that lately. She said that she's not stripping now and she's trying to get a job as a bartender. She said she has savings from the stripping thing so that's what she's living off of right now. She said that she doesn't let Benjy support her. Benjy said that she won't let him pay for anything with her.
Sarah said she had an older guy who used to buy her stuff. She said that he bought her a car, new boobs and more. She said that they didn't even have sex. She said that he bought her a new BMW and after that he started to expect things. Sarah said she had a bunch of sugar daddies who got mad when she started dating Benjy. She wasn't having sex with anyone though. She said they were all single. One guy was over 70. She said that guy didn't even tell her how old he was. She said she had to google him to find out how old he was.
Howard said that Benjy should be complimented by this because she's in love with him and he's not a sugar daddy. Benjy said that he has told her that he loves her. Sarah said that he says ''wove'' and not ''love.'' Benjy said he's just not looking to jump into an engagement type of relationship. He said that he does love her though.
Howard said it's amazing that she has to pursue him. She said that she started talking to another guy and Benjy found out and then invited her to the Christmas Party. She said that Benjy made her sign a contract saying that she couldn't have emotional feelings for anyone else and she could only have ''fun.''
Sarah said that she took it seriously but Benjy was saying it was just a joke. Benjy said that its' a different relationship now.
Howard had JD come in to talk about this. JD said this was wild and there's a lot going on there with those two. He said that he's not going to start doing contracts like Benjy is doing.
Howard said Benjy is the real thing and he's like Hugh Hefner or Huge Heifer. Howard said that she's buying Benjy meals and he's making her sign contracts. He told JD to hang out with Benjy more.
Howard asked Sarah if she ever did anything with Antonio Sabato Jr. She said that they met after the shoot and they had sex. She said that Benjy is better than he was. She said that Benjy stimulates her mind. She said that Antonio didn't say much. She said that Antonio had a big cock though.
Howard said this is an amazing story to him. He asked if Benjy let her wear panties today. She said that she was wearing them but Benjy didn't make her.
Sarah said that Benjy checked out her outfit before the Christmas party. She said he made her Skype him before the party. Benjy moved his way over to her and Howard told him to get back to his seat. Benjy said he couldn't look at her over there.
Howard said that some women had a negative reaction to her at the party. Benjy said he thought she was getting nervous so that's why he went over to her. Howard told him to get back to his seat. They said Sarah was acting weird when Benjy went over to her. Fred said it looked like the way a dog reacts when it gets hit.
Howard asked Sarah about the Christmas party and how she was climbing up on Ronnie while they danced. Sarah said she was just having fun.
Howard said Sarah is there for a reason. She's there to play ''Win Sal's Money'' and she's the first contestant to ever play. Howard said that they have a $5,000 prize for the game. Sal came in and Howard said that he was the first one to have physical contact with her. She was grabbing at his crotch on one show she was on.
Howard said that they asked Sarah questions the last time she was on and she didn't know the answers to many of the questions they had. Howard said that she was giving goofy answers for all of the questions they asked.
Howard asked Sal if he's been studying at all. Sal said he won't waste his time with that. He said there is no reason to study.
Howard got to the game and said that he was going to isolate Sal and ask Sarah her questions. She had a minute to answer 7 questions. Here are the questions and answers:
Sarah got two right. She got number 1 and number 7 correct. Howard went over the questions and Gary said he's not sure Sal will win. Benjy said that they studied the wrong stuff. He asked her some questions of his own and she got a bunch right. Howard asked her a bunch more and she didn't get them all right either. Howard said that some of them were probably too tough for her. Benjy said she did great though.
Howard had Sal come in to answer the same questions. Sal got 4 right. He got 1, 4, 5 and 7 correct. Howard told Sal he's not that smart. He only got a couple more than Sarah did. Howard said that they were going to take out the Cuba question since that wasn't really right. Howard said Sal beat Sarah 3 to 2 if they took out the Castro question.
Howard asked Sal some more questions that he asked Sarah and Sal was getting those wrong too. Sal didn't know what the Alamo was or what country Siberia was in. Howard asked Sal a bunch of other questions and he did get a couple right. He got a few more than Sarah did.
Howard asked Sal if he's jealous of Benjy dating this chick. Sal said he is kind of jealous. He said he was the one who introduce the two of them. He said he was the one who told her about Benjy.
Gary said that Sarah is supposed to be getting naked since she lost. Howard said he didn't know there was a bonus today. Benjy told her it was totally up to her because she was looking at him for approval.
Sarah said that everyone was staring at her. Sal said of course they are. He asked if he's supposed to stare at his feet while her tits are flopping out.
Sal offered to help Sarah get something off. Benjy told him not to help and went over to help her himself. Howard said that Sarah is hot. She was really naked in there. Gary told Benjy to get out of the shot because he was blocking the view. Howard said she looks great.
Benjy was feeling kind of possessive with her naked in there. Howard asked if they had a prize for Sarah. He said she didn't win the 5 grand so maybe something else. Benjy was getting a little weird with her so Howard had to ask him to stop. Howard said that they were going to give Sarah a gold rose and a $500 prize from Steven Singer Jewelers.
Gary asked Benjy to kiss her. He didn't believe that they were a couple. Sarah called him over and made out with him for a few seconds. Howard said that was fun. Sal asked her if she wanted to touch his cock for old times sake. She said she did. She said she likes Sal's cock. Sal said his wife is going to kill him. He laughed as he said that though.
Ralph called in and said that hot chicks are dopey and anyone can get a hot chick. Ralph said that she's stimulated by Benjy's mind and anyone can get a girl if they're like that. You don't have to be a hot guy to get a hot chick. He said that he knows Benjy so on the Stern Show but that's not what you need all the time.
Howard had this guy Glavin on the phone. He was a former boyfriend of Sarah's. Sarah said that this guy hates her now. The caller said that he loves the show. He said he thinks the show is fantastic. He said he wanted to say that Sarah is a hypocrite because she hates Howard. Sarah said she does not and the guy was just a loser.
Howard let that guy go and took another call. That guy asked who else she would have sex with on the show other than Benjy. Howard asked if she had eyes for anyone else. Sarah said she does like Sal. She said Benjy gets mad when she says that. Sal said he's cursed. Howard said Sal is a lot of fun. Howard asked if his penis bothers her. She aid that Antonio was uncircumcised too so that doesn't bother her at all.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked about the party and if she was showing her vag there. Sarah said she didn't do it on purpose. She said she has a habit of touching herself though. She said she didn't finger herself.
Another caller asked about the game and why Howard is so lenient with the game. He said that Sal barely won. They also talked about how nuts Sal is when it came to the Cold War question. Sal didn't know that he had lived through it. Sal said he thought it was with countries that were cold and had said that they were Iceland and England. Sal said he figured that it was cold in the war and had no clue about what it was really about.
Howard said that Sal was embarrassing himself. Sal didn't seem to care and said that's not unusual. Howard said it has to be eating Sal up inside that Sarah is in love with him too. Benjy said that she's not in love with Sal.
The caller asked Sal if his wife would mind if he did something with Sarah. Sal said he thinks that he's at a point in his relationship that he might be able to do something and she wouldn't get upset. He said that some women divorce over that kind of thing but it's just a way to kick them out of the house and take their money. He said if they're not fucking then why does it matter who he's going out and fucking.
Howard said that Sarah's boobs looked amazing. Sarah thanked him for that. Howard said she didn't win $5,000 but she does get to walk out with 5,000 pounds of Benjy. Sal helped out with that joke.
Benjy was going to give her a plug for something but she didn't want him to. The two of them were whispering back and forth. Benjy said that she's looking for some normal jobs where she can stay clothed. He said she wants to bar tend or do some modeling. Howard said that Benjy is going to get jealous if she's out bartending. Benjy said he'll be fine with that as long as she's happy.
Howard asked if she gives a good lap dance. Sarah said she gives great ones. Gary asked if they could see her demonstrate one on Sal. Benjy said he minded that but it was up to her. Howard said that Benjy couldn't deal with that. Benjy said he would prefer it not happen but he can deal with it. Sarah said that he might hate fuck her later if she does it. Howard said he's tired of this and had to bring it to an end. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he gets upset when they say that Adam Lambert is the new Freddy Mercury. He said that Freddy had a lot more talent than Adam Lambert does. Howard said that Freddy could write his own songs. Howard sang along to the song a little bit.
Howard said the show went by fast this morning. He said that most of it went to Benjy and his girlfriend. He said Benjy is still out there controlling everything out there. Robin said then he denies that he's controlling. She said that she's not sure it's going to work out if it keeps up like that. Howard said she actually yelled at Benjy in the green room. She wanted to talk to the camera and Benjy wouldn't let her. Benjy said that he wasn't getting mad and she thought he was.
Howard told Gary not to think he forgot about his tape. Gary said he didn't. Howard said Benjy walked Sarah to the elevator so Sal wouldn't get a hold of her. Benjy said he didn't want them doing hijinx with her.
Howard said Sarah looked really good and he found out that she's 30 years old. Howard said she looks great for her age. Benjy was trying to talk with a mouth full of food so Howard gave up on the conversation.
Robin said that she was thinking about inviting Sarah to a party she's throwing. She said that she likes Sarah a lot. Robin said that she's throwing the party for Shuli's wife and Richard's fiancee. Howard said she should have her there.
Gary asked if Robin knows either of the names for Shuli's wife and Richard's fiancee. Robin knew it was Christine and Kristin. She said she was going to invite most of the wives and girlfriend's of the staff so she might have to invite Sarah too. Howard told her she has to invite her because he has to hear all about it.
Howard said Riley Martin did a show last night and he's asking for money directly from the fans now. He played some of the audio of that. Riley was telling the fans he might have to leave if he doesn't make more money than he's making now. Howard said they could cut his salary in half and he still wouldn't leave. Howard said that this is the one thing he's getting paid to do and he's threatening to leave.
Riley told his fans that they can help him in two ways. They can buy more symbols or buy more products from him. Riley said that they can write down an email address and write to him to find out how they can help. Riley said that he would get mail directly that way. Riley asked for phone numbers so he can call the fans back. He said if they want to help him they can give a phone number. Riley said that he will call people and give them instructions on how to help.
Howard said he didn't even know Riley had a bobble head doll to sell. He mentioned that in the clip he had played.
Gary had a bobble head that he brought in to show Howard. Howard said it actually looked like Riley. He said it was a nice looking product. He said that he might have to put that in his house. Howard did his Riley impression while bobbling the head around. Howard thought it talked but it must have needed batteries. Howard said that they had Riley's web site on the bobble head. Howard said that's part of the look of the thing. Fred said that thing is $39.95.
Howard said he might be crazy but Riley might be making himself lighter skinned with the bobble head. Robin said that he is a little darker than that.
Steve said they have a picture of Jason in pink shorts and a mesh shirt for a Howard TV shoot. Steve wasn't sure what he was dressed up like that for.
Steve said that they have some news about Iron Sheik being at the Grammy Awards on the red carpet on Sunday. Some wrestling people got him in there.
Steve got in a plug for the NFL coverage they're going to have on SIRIUS XM this weekend. Shuli and Scott Ferrall will be covering the games. That led to Howard and Steve talking about Shuli and how good he is as a news man there. Steve said that Lisa G is a celebrity journalist and she's the queen of the red carpet. He said he's not sure that she would want to do the hard hitting news coverage that some of them do. He said that she does do that sometimes though.
Howard asked Steve who is the better news person, Shuli or Lisa. Steve said that he'd have to say Shuli. He said he was put on the spot for that though. Howard said he's going to ask Lisa the same question tomorrow. Steve said Lisa is good.
Howard said that was something big there. He said Steve is very honest. Howard asked Jon Hein if he was surprised by that. Jon said he was. He then ran down his Wrap Up Show preview.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him that Fidel Castro isn't the leader of Cuba. Howard said he knew that and they threw that one out anyway. Will was the one who wrote the question and he came in and apologized for that. Robin had corrected him about the leader being a prime minister and it's actually the President. Will said he's going to keep track of the stories that Robin screws up in the news every day. Robin said she wasn't attacking him and she's not sure why he's attacking her. Robin said that she has to do her news every day during the show and it's not easy to put it together. Howard backed her up with that.
Jon ran down more of his Wrap Up Show subjects after that. He brought up Benjy's contract with Sarah and that led to them talking more about that for a short time.
The guys also brought up Sal's answers during the game and how wacky they were. Sal was saying that he didn't care about a lot of that stuff but he didn't even know that London wasn't a country. Sal said he doesn't know about that stuff and he doesn't care. Sal was trying to explain how he came up with Iceland and London for the Cold War answer. Sal said he had to figure it out since he didn't know the answer. He figured the war was cold so he came up with some cold countries.
The guys were shocked at how little Sal knew. Sal came in and told the guys about the way they used to cheat in school and how he was copying off of other idiots.
Jon ran down some more stuff about today's Wrap Up Show. Howard kept talking about Sal though. He wondered if he knows what S.A.T. stands for. He said that he went to Suffolk Community college and he thinks that they'll let anyone in there. Sal said he thought S.A.T. was Standardized Aptitude Test but he was wrong. Sal guessed it was Scholastic and got that right.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he and Frank Zappa are very similar. He said that Howard fought the FCC and Frank had to do that too. Howard said he adored Frank and he had him on the show a few times. Howard said he misses the guy because he died after smoking for years and years. He said that Frank would probably rethink that one if he could do it over again. Howard said Frank was a good dude and it's a shame he went so young. Howard said he thought Frank was a little nuts but he was a lot of fun. The caller said he was nuts like Howard is nuts. Howard said he's completely normal.
Howard didn't know what the guy's point was because he didn't give him any reasons that they were similar. Howard said he didn't think the guy had a reason. Howard said Frank was terrific. He said they were both handsome as hell too.
Howard said Frank died in 1993 and he was only 52. Howard said he died a young man. Howard said that's young to him. He said he was a great guy and a real intellectual. Howard said he would back his stuff up with facts and he loved the guy. Howard said it's a shame that Frank's kids missed out on time with him.
Robin got to her news and started off with a story about a guy who attacked a kid the day he got out of prison. He kidnapped two 15 year old girls and an 11 year old. He raped the two older girls and then robbed a woman later in the day. the guy was arrested and confessed to the crimes later. Howard said maybe he's a great film director and they should set him free. Robin said the guy went nuts and they're saying he may get a lifetime sentence.
Robin read a story about a woman who glued her lover's penis to his stomach and she claims she didn't mean to hurt him. Howard said he could never have that happen to him. He said that his penis isn't that long. Robin said the women were trying to get some information out of the guy and they did the glue thing as a last minute thing.
Howard had to take a break after that. After the break Robin got back to her news and read a story about Rip Torn and what's going on with his arrest. Robin read about all of the homes the guy has and how he ended up sleeping in a bank.
Robin had a story about Michael Jackson's doctor being charged in Jackson's death. Robin had a story about a teacher who had his 4th grade class kids wrestling to settle a dispute. She had some details on that story too.
Robin had some news about Howard going back to terrestrial radio that some sites are reporting on. Howard didn't have much to say about that. He just asked how much he's going to make. That's all he cared about. Howard said he wasn't lying when he said he had been approached to go back . He said they are asking him back and his contract is up at the end of this year. He said he has no plans right now though. He said he likes not having plans. He said he'd be depressed if he did have plans. He said he doesn't even know what he's going to be doing. He said he's not being dishonest when he says he has no plans. He said he's not negotiating with anyone right now and he's not sure he even wants to work after this contract is up.
Howard said he was approached to do a TV show next year and he kind of turned that down. He said he thought about it but his demands are pretty heavy and they were attempting to negotiate and he dropped the whole thing. Howard said they can either give him what he wants or he'll just turn it down. Howard said they're going to call the show CSI Paramus. Howard said that Robin was going to have Pete the Asian Virgin as her boyfriend in the show.
Howard said he was intrigued by the idea but he wanted to make sure things were right. He said he did think about it. Howard said he's playing with the idea of a lot of things. He's been told about some interesting technology too. Robin asked if it was the iPad. Howard said that's what it was. He said he's working on an invisibility ray too. He said that he has been consulting with Techno Beaver too. Howard said he likes the idea of not knowing what he's going to be doing. He said he doesn't have an answer right now.
Robin read some news about a sex education class where they tell kids about abstinence can help stop kids from having sex early. Howard said the best way to cut back is to look like him. He said that no one was rushing into bed with him. Robin said that they say that it can reduce sex by about 25 percent with those classes. Howard said he was complimented with anyone thinking he was having sex.
Robin had some audio of a woman talking about the kind of food people can eat to stop heart problems. Robin said that people don't think about diet. They talk about exercise and taking in less food.
Robin read some news about the President and how he wants to do away with the ''don't ask, don't tell'' rules. She had some audio of some people talking about that.
Robin read a story about a new show where they're helping people find jobs there in New York City. Robin had some audio of Mayor Bloomberg talking about that.
Robin read some news about the movie Precious being nominated for some Academy Awards. She had some details about that.
Howard had to read some live commercials during the news. He did those quickly and had Robin get back to her news. Howard also said that he heard that Lisa is upset with Steve Langford for what he said about her earlier. Howard asked if Lisa wanted to come in and give a rebuttal. Gary was on the phone trying to get her in there. Howard said Steve is just saying he was being honest. Gary said Lisa was on her way in.
Howard said he heard that Lisa had already unloaded on Steve. He said that it was just Steve's opinion for the three people back there.
Lisa came in and said that she and Steve did have words but she wasn't yelling. She said that she was upset with his answer for Howard. Lisa said that she thinks that they could all fill in for one another and that's what Steve should have said. Howard said he thinks that Steve is afraid to come on the air with her because of her reaction to him. Lisa said she was disappointed with him for what he did. She said that she's not an entertainment reporter. She said that she loves what she does there and she thinks that she could do whatever it is that Steve and Shuli do. Lisa said that Steve also has the privilege of spending more time on a story than she does. Lisa said she has to crank out stories one after the other. Howard asked why she has to do that and Steve doesn't. Lisa said they have a lot of time to fill and that's an important part of her job there.
Howard asked Lisa if she respects Steve and if he was honest. Lisa said that she does respect him and she does think he was honest.
Steve came in so Howard asked Steve how he feels about this. Steve said there was no yelling or a scene. He said they had a nice talk about it. He said that she wasn't thrilled with what he said and he was sorry for that but he was just being honest. Howard said that's what he likes about Steve.
Steve said he told Lisa that Howard started the whole thing. He said that he thinks that he was being honest though. Robin and Howard asked if Shuli could step into his shoes better than Lisa could. Steve wasn't answering that directly . He said that Shuli has news instincts that are very good. Lisa said that's his opinion. Steve said that Lisa is the one people would rather have doing a story. Steve said that she's more like a Barbara Walters type. Steve said no one wants him to be doing a story on them.
Lisa said it would be nice if Howard came back and visited the news department sometimes. Howard said he may do that sometime. Howard let the two of them go a short time later.
Robin got back to her news and read some stuff about American Idol and had some audio clips from last night's show. Howard said that the one chick she played was really annoying. Robin played some more clips and they went over those. Howard said he wanted to test out being a judge. He listened to some of the performances and guessed at what happened to them in the show.
Robin had some Haiti news and read about some more Haiti relief songs that are out. Robin had some audio of one of the songs that has been produced by Simon Cowell. Howard said Haiti is going to be broke with these songs.
Robin played the Mel Gibson audio clip that they had talked about earlier in the morning. Robin had the bleeped version of the clip though. Howard had the unbleeped version that he played earlier. Howard commented on that clip a little bit. Howard said the guy is a douche and he hates being that douche. He said that Mel used to be the popular kid in high school but now all of the popular kids are calling him a douche. He said it's great that he's the outcast.
Robin asked Howard if he ever read Catcher in the Rye. Howard said he hadn't but Beth got him the book and he's going to read it. Robin said that J.D. Salinger died and someone put a blog together where they wrote about musicians who have been influenced by him. She had some clips from songs that had mentioned things from his book. Billy Joel, The Beastie Boys and other artists have referenced Salinger.
Robin had a story about Slash's new solo album that's coming out. She had some audio of one of the songs and it sounded like Paradise City to Howard. Howard asked if Slash was singing on that one. Robin wasn't sure who was singing. The album is due out in April.
Robin had some audio of some actors talking about their movies. Howard didn't last long during those clips as usual. Anne Hathaway was one of them and she was speaking very fast so Howard and Fred had some fun with that. They were playing Grandpa Al Lewis audio clips. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 10:50am.
Jon said he didn't want to do that the whole hour. He said he wanted to talk about Benjy's girlfriend coming in too. He thought Sal was going to run away with that win. Gary said he didn't run away with it. He said that Sal wouldn't have known that the Korea answer was actually North Korea. Sal said he may not have.
The guys also talked about ''the new deal'' answer and how Sal came up with Obama as an answer. Sal said that sounds like something Obama would come up with. He said that would be Obama with his jive talk. He said the lingo is the kind of thing he'd come up with.
Gary asked Sal if he had ever heard Obama talk like that. Sal said he did call Kanye West a jackass. Sal said that's kind of a jive thing to say. Gary asked if he even knew what ''The New Deal'' was. Sal didn't know.
Sal was trying to give some history but he's kind of weak on that kind of stuff. Jon said that he might not be able to get through 4th grade history. Sal said that he knows he should know history but it's not going to pay his mortgage. Sal said that's a weakness of his and he doesn't need to know it. Gary said he knows that. He said that they gave Sal some books to read and he didn't bother reading them. Sal said he doesn't have time to do that.
Sal said he helps his kids with homework but they don't have a lot of history. He said that they do a lot of things in 5th grade that he doesn't even know. He said that they're teaching them about paradigms in 5th grade and even the head of IBM doesn't know what that is. Jon said he's pretty sure he does.
Sal said that he wanted to be himself and just answer things the best he could. He said he knows about Margaret Thatcher and things like that.
Benjy came in and said that he was helping Sarah learn some stuff. He said that he was trying to help her go over some stuff but he wasn't making her watch stuff just to learn. He said he told her to watch Chris Matthews to learn about current events. He said she did well today. Benjy said he didn't think Sal would blow her out of the water. He said he did want her to win today though.
Benjy said he felt that Sarah came across well on the show and she had a fun time so that's the important part for him. He said he hates that he was doing some of the stuff he was doing. He said he didn't want to come across as a douche.
Gary said that he saw a deeper relationship than he thought. He said that he thought Benjy was pulling his leg on that but it turns out he wasn't. He said that they're really into each other.
Gary said that no one in the room wants Sal to touch their wife's dick. Sal said that she has an obsession with his penis. He said that she likes it. Benjy said that she thinks it's funny.
Jon said Sal made a comment about how Christine wouldn't care if he was with another woman. He wanted to know what that was about. Sal said that he feels he has to rush things on the show and he can't get them out properly . He said what he was trying to say was that women who don't get along with their husbands wouldn't care if their husband was shagging someone else . He said if he was his wife and he wasn't banging him, he wouldn't care if he wasn't going to pester him anymore.
Sal said he thinks that women just like to bust their husbands fucking other women so they can get a divorce and take their money. He said they don't really care that they're fucking someone else. Jon asked if his wife cares. Sal said his wife would care. He said he can't even make an analogy about that.
Sal said that he's never heard of a divorce between a guy and a Geisha girl so those arranged marriages must work. Sal said he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.
Gary said that it all sounds like a big conspiracy to him. Sal said that the things don't work for the guys either. He said that you can't leave a woman for turning into a pig when she lets herself go. Sal said that you're fucked no matter what. Sal said that's the truth.
Jason came in and said that Sal is right in a way . He said that the divorce laws side on the woman's side so it's in the man's best interest to stay in the marriage.
Sal said that a lot of guys who get divorced have to pay these women and they're being scammed. He said that they should have itemized billing for the stuff their wives are spending on. He said that guys are fucked across the board. Gary said he agrees with him on that subject. He said that the guys have no idea where their money is going and they should have an itemized bill. Sal said he wants to go to congress and fight for guys with that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he agrees with Sal about women and how things are. He said it's ridiculous that guys don't have anything to stand on when a woman doesn't keep a man happy. Sal said that it happens on both ends and it is a two way street . He said there are some women who have the same problems but he can only speak from his side as a man.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he loves hearing Sal's borderline mental patient ramblings. He said he disagrees with Sal on some of this stuff. The guy said he shouldn't get married if he feels that way. He said if he didn't get married he wouldn't have these problems. Sal said that marriage always starts out as peaches and cream and it always ends up in the gutter . He said that love is a misleading emotion. Sal said the only true love is the love of a child. He said that blood is the only true love. He said love between a man and a woman just isn't the same thing.
Sal said that when people get married the guy is bringing home the money and the woman is supposed to stay in shape and look good. Sal said that the woman is supposed to make the man feel good so when he hands over that pay check she'll make him a good meal and give him sex. He said that if they're not doing that then they should both work and bring home the money.
Jon asked Sal if he thinks that anyone has a happy marriage. Sal said there are ''interesting'' marriages. He said there are ups and downs and you have to focus on the ups. He said that sometimes there are people you love and you want them to disappear for a little while once in a while. Sal said he doesn't want them to disappear like Scott Peterson disappear.
Jon tried to figure out what a good marriage was to Sal. Sal said it all comes down to emotion. He said that there is nothing wrong with a wife working. He said that there are women out there working who should be taken care of as well.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal is 100 percent right. He said guys get screwed and he's seen it happen on both ends . He said that the wife might decide that she doesn't want to be married anymore and you get screwed. He said he's seen guys end up in their parent's basement and you get screwed no matter what.
The caller said that he gave his 17 year old daughter a car and his wife took it to a mechanic and he tried running a game on her saying it needed tires and brakes. He said that his wife complained that he had to pay for this stuff even though he had just done all of that work. He said you can't win.
Sal said that the way the system is set up a guy just can't win. He said if you find your wife cheating and you go beat the guy up, you still end up giving the wife the house and the money and the guy is going to move into the house you built. He said he's not sure how this country lets that stuff happen. They had to go to break after that.
Gary said he didn't think it was shtick and he was being over protective. He said that Benjy spent 2 weeks knowing that this girl he's in love with was coming in and maybe it can be unnerving.
Benjy said he felt bad about the contract thing because she took it seriously and he meant it as a joke. That led to Jon playing the clip where she talked about that.
Benjy said that things have changed since that whole contract thing. Gary asked if he was bummed out when she was going to date some other guy. Benjy said when he thought she was dating someone else he was laying low. He said that he didn't want to make that commitment but then he called her about the Christmas party. Benjy said he didn't even know she was seeing that other guy at the time.
Benjy said that things have just worked out and he thinks that he's really charming when he's one on one with someone. Gary said she did say that he was being very persistent though. Benjy said you know you've gone too far when you have a restraining order. Gary asked if he had ever had one. Benjy said he hadn't.
A caller said that Benjy is being very passive aggressive and he wants it both ways with her. Benjy said he that sounds about right to him. The caller thought that was pretty sweet that he agreed with that.
Jon said that Sarah did pretty well today with the contest. He asked Benjy what his favorite answer was. Benjy said he liked it when she said the Alamo was at the airport. He said she was trying to apply logic to an answer she didn't know. That's what Sal did too with the Cold War answer.
A caller asked Benjy if he's using condoms with this chick. Benjy said that they're exclusive with each other but he is using condoms. They also both got tested to see if they were clean. Benjy said they went together to get tested. He said that they do the tests in the same day at some places. Sal said that's what they do in the porn industry.
Ralph called in and said that Benjy can't think that this girl is intelligent. Benjy said that she's smarter than he thinks she is. Ralph said that Benjy is being funny. Benjy said that he thinks that she has a high IQ.
Benjy said he has talked to Sarah a lot and she has a high IQ but maybe not have a lot of knowledge. Ralph just laughed and told him that's silly.
Ralph said that if you don't know basic knowledge about stuff then you are stupid. He said that Sal is like that. He said that when you come off stupid that's the way people are going to perceive you.
Sal said that Sarah has a nice home, a nice car and she's doing okay. He said that she must be pretty smart to be able to do that. The guys told him that doesn't make a person smart. Sal said that ignorance can be bliss.
Benjy said he thinks that Sarah would score way above average on IQ. The guys were talking about how Sal didn't even know what the cold war was.
Gary asked Benjy if he has any issue with Sarah taking a car and breast implants from a guy who was just a friend of her's. Gary said that he must have expected more than that. Benjy said that from what he's been told, she's been up front with these guys. Benjy said that it bothers her morally and she wants to stop doing that. Ralph got a laugh out of that . He said that's like a guy who robs a bank and feels bad about it. Benjy said that it's not easy to walk away from free stuff like that. Gary said that anyone knows that there has to be more to it than getting free stuff.
Jon asked Will if he thought that they knew more answers than they got. Will said he thought Sarah was going to win. He said that Sal answered more than he thought he was going to.
Sal said that Will acted less than professional with the whole thing. He said that he sent out a note about them being ''fucking retards'' in the email. Sal said that he wrote back that he was going to get a third party involved if that kept up.
Sal said that Will also put the notes in and said that this was ''like Win Fred's Money for Dummies.'' He said that was kind of funny but that's not cool. Will said he was sorry for offending him if that's what he did.
Sal said he has made some comments about the interns in the past for the Intern Beauty Pageant. He said he wrote that one of the girls wasn't a valid contestant for the pageant and he thought it was funny. He said it was in the email and contained in there. He said Howard wrote him back and told him not to do that. Sal said it was like his third week there and he let Howard down right off the bat. Sal said that he learned to tread lightly on Lotus Notes.
Gary said that the lesson Sal got is not what he should have learned. He said that he shouldn't be making fun of the intern's looks. Benjy said that would be a problem if someone got a hold of the email and saw something like that.
Another caller said that he agrees with Sal about the divorce thing. He said that he got screwed too. He said that his wife took him for all he was worth and he can't do anything about it. He said that he's back on his feet now and he's dating a girl he went to school with. The guy said that she was the best looking girl in school at the time too. Gary gave that caller a prize that they had to give away.
Jon said that there were a lot of people agreeing with him today. Even Gary was agreeing with him about the itemized bill thing he mentioned earlier.
Will said that he had a meeting with Robin after the show today. He said he took out some stuff on her today and he apologized for that. Will said that Robin thought he had an issue with him and she didn't appreciate the way he handled it. Will said he felt he was being attacked so he came back at her. He was sorry for the way he did it though. He said she rolled her eyes and just dropped it after he said he was sorry. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about a new Tradio call from Sal and Richard. He said they were up to hijinx again with that. Howard did his impression of wrestler Golddust for a minute with the ''Ooo, ooo, ooo'' thing.
Howard said he was listening to Bubba's show yesterday and Tucker Carlson was on the show. He said he sounds like he's good on the air when he's on Bubba's show. Robin thought Tucker was off the air at FOX but Howard said he heard he was just on that morning. He may be a contributor of some sort over there. Robin said Bubba and Tucker are an odd couple and you wouldn't think that they'd get along.
Howard said he was talking to someone who saw Avatar and in the movie the characters have tails that they can plug into other beings. He said you can plug into horses and flying stuff. Howard said his daughter said it was like a rape. Howard said he didn't think about that but she was right. Robin said that's the way they break any horse. She said that they have to break them to tame them. Howard said they don't stick things inside of them though. Howard said that it was like horse rape to him. Howard said it was horse and bird rape.
Robin said the guy raped a tree too. Howard said James Cameron might be bitter from being married to so many women. Maybe that's why he put that in the movie.
Howard said that Sal and Richard's call was interesting. He said that this host kept saying over and over again that he ''wasn't selling nothing'' which is weird. He said it's weird that a broadcaster can get away with that. He said he knows he gets away with grammar all the time but not this bad.
Howard played the call and it was actually a Swap Shop show, not a Tradio show. In the call Sal calls in to sell a hand crank sewing machine. Richard then calls in to say that it was his sewing machine and it was stolen. The host went off on him saying that he wasn't selling nothing and it was him and his friend. Sal and Richard kept calling back in and asking him to leave it up and take it down. The host told them to come down there and he'd take it up with them in person. The host kept telling them to come down there. He got all worked up and said he was going to have them locked up. Richard was pretending to be a woman and the guy knew he was a dude.
The host got so upset that he wanted to have a staff meeting about it right there on the air. The guy spoke to his staff on the air over that. The host sounded like he was afraid he was going to be terminated over what he was saying.
Howard said that was Sal and Richard's new call. He said that's what the boys have been up to.
Howard said that's amazing. He said he wears sunglasses indoors and this cop was able to pick out a dummy because of sunglasses. Robin said the guy could have been blind. Howard said it was actually a female dummy and she looked kind of hot. Howard said the lesson is not to put sunglasses on a dummy on a cloudy day.
Howard said if you wanted to pick the most bizarre person of the year it would be between Tiger Woods and John Edwards. Howard said Tiger is a weird dude because he had this sex addiction and you'd never expect it from such a soft spoken guy. Howard said that John Edwards is another one who is a weirdo. He said there was a report about him beating up his cancer stricken wife. Howard said there are all kinds of weird stories about that couple. He said that he thinks that Edwards beats Tiger Woods.
Howard asked Robin who she thinks is the weirder one. Robin didn't know who to pick. Howard read the article about Edwards and how his wife is claiming that she was beat up and that's why she called it quits with the marriage. Robin ended up picking Tiger as being the more shocking news to her.
Howard said that Kidd Chris sent him some stuff from American Idol. He said he took some audio from American Idol and he played around with that equipment that changes your voice. He said that he took this guy Kenny from Idol and put it through this machine to show that anyone can sing. Howard played the original version of this Kenny guy singing and got some laughs out of that. He then played the song that Kidd Chris put together. He added music to it and put the voice through the voice changer machine that puts your voice into tune. It was kind of passable as a real song.
Howard said it's amazing what you can do now. Robin said when they say that Paris Hilton has a song out that's what she thinks she had to do. Howard said there's no way she can sing and she's probably right.
Howard said that it was very bizarre. Sarah was asking Benjy where he was going to be hiding after she yelled at him to let her talk. Benjy was still hovering around her in the green room even after she asked him to leave her alone for a minute. Sarah pointed out that he was still hovering around. Benjy said he likes being around her because she's his girlfriend.
Howard said Benjy is a nudge. He said that he was really weird on the Wrap Up Show too. Benjy said when he talks he always turns out to be an ass. Howard didn't get what he was saying. Robin didn't know either. Howard said Benjy is weird. He said he thought it was an act but it's not.
Benjy wanted to tell Howard off the air what he wanted to talk to Sarah about in that interview. Benjy said he could explain it to Howard but he didn't want to say it on the air.
Howard said Benjy had this weird, creepy look on his face. Benjy said that Sarah told him that too. Howard said it's a miracle that she's with him and she will wake up eventually. Howard said that she's so hot that 70 year old guys are buying her cars and don't even want to fuck her. Howard said Benjy doesn't even take her out. Benjy said she's the one who doesn't want to go out. Howard said maybe she's embarrassed by him and doesn't want to be seen with him.
Benjy said that they have a great relationship and they love to lay around and just talk. Howard said that's going to get old and guys are going to end up hitting on her and Benjy will be standing around like a buffoon.
Howard said Benjy is too clingy and touchy. He said that Shuli is trying to interview the girl and the creepy guy hanging around is her boyfriend. Howard said that's really weird. Howard and Fred were doing their impressions of Benjy and Benjy said he's really not like that.
Benjy said he's always afraid he's going to hurt someone in a commitment. Howard said the only way he's going to hurt anyone is if he sits on them.
Benjy told Howard he should see him in his room to see how he really acts. Howard said no one is going to see that. Benjy said he was doing some of that stuff as a joke yesterday. That led to them talking about the contract Benjy made her sign. Howard said Benjy has a lot of balls up in the air so it's tough for him to make a commitment.
Howard said he can't wait until she dumps his ass. He said that's going to be great. Howard said Benjy is going to be crying and saying that he's the one who didn't want to commit.
Benjy asked Howard when he and Beth decided to commit. Howard said that there was a time when they were just dating and not dating anyone else. He said that went on a while until they got married. Howard said they were together for 9 years and they were exclusive with each other. Howard said he's not even sure what Benjy is asking. Robin said that Howard gave his full commitment to Beth when they started to date. Howard said he and Beth were very interested in each other and they didn't have to dwell on it. He said he didn't have to make her sign a piece of paper like Benjy did.
Benjy said that they didn't talk about getting married for a while. Howard said they did live like a married couple for a while. Howard said Beth didn't move in right away but Robin said that she pretty much did.
Benjy said that when you're an adult and you want to commit you're committing to getting married. Howard said that he's jumping the gun and he should just go with it and enjoy it for a while. He said that if things don't work out then they move on to other people. Benjy said he's afraid of really hurting someone though.
Howard said Benjy thinks that the girl isn't going to be able to move on. Howard said his wife got married within a year of divorcing him so she'll be fine without him. Howard told Benjy not to worry about it.
Benjy said that they're committed right now and he's going to see how things work out. He said he does love her. Howard told him to enjoy it.
Howard told Benjy not to obsess over this so much or he's going to chase this girl away. He told him to give her some breathing room or she's going to run away. Howard said that if he was upset about giving Sal a lap dance yesterday maybe he shouldn't be with her. Howard told him he's going to blow it if he doesn't let go.
Howard asked Gary about the story he told him about Benjy. Gary came in and said that he heard a story from a girl that he knew. Gary said he asked this girl out on the phone and even asked her mother. Gary said that Benjy got her to conference the mother into the call. Gary said the woman said she wasn't even sure why she got her mother on the phone. Benjy just has a way of getting someone to do something. Howard said it's amazing that he can do that. Benjy said that's why he's there on the show. Howard said that's true.
Robin said that Benjy has a way of isolating someone so it's like they're stuck on an island with just him so they have no choice but to fall for him. Robin said he's like The Fly. Benjy said he was embarrassed by the way he acted in the studio yesterday. Howard said he got caught up in something and he can change. Robin said she's not sure about that. She thinks that anytime she goes out in public, that's the way Benjy is going to act.
Howard said Gilbert does the voice over for the commercial but the visual is the best part of it. Howard said he was getting fitted for a suit recently and he was asked about using a shoe horn. He's never needed one though.
Howard said this shoe thing is called the Shoedini. He played the commercial where Gilbert is talking about the product in that annoying voice he puts on. Howard said it was the most irritating commercial he's ever heard. Howard wondered how many times a day you have to put shoes on that you'd need something like this.
Howard played more of the commercial and talked about this ''grip clip'' that he mentioned. That keeps the shoe from moving while you put it on. Howard said it's insane.
Robin said that there are a ton of people in scooters these days. Things are getting crazy. No one is walking anymore. Howard said it's a nation of blobs. They talked about the scooter thing and how people are so proud of themselves being in one. Howard said that they're like super powerful in their scooters. Robin said they're in the supermarket in their scooters and there's hardly any room in the aisles.
Howard took a call from Yucko the Clown who asked Howard about the Dr. Strange comic book and how there's an eye of agamato in there that looks like the necklace Gary was wearing. Yucko was goofing on Gary for wearing that around his neck. Gary said that's coming from a guy who dresses up as a clown.
Howard said Gary thinks he's in the music industry somehow. Yucko said he's just as much of the music industry as Gary is. Gary said he loves music and he's booked music guests on the show. He said he just loves music so that's why he likes the 45 record adapter.
Yucko was doing an impression of Gary and goofing on his Solitaire playing again. Gary was asking Howard what's wrong with him wearing that thing when Howard wears necklaces too. He wears dog tags and he wasn't even in the service. Howard reminded him that he was in Vietnam.
Howard said that maybe Gary will need that 45 adapter some day. He might run across a 45 record to play at his house. He said that Gary has a ton of vinyl at his house and mentioned that the other day. Howard said he was fascinated by that. He said Gary told him about all of the vinyl he has and how he keeps some of the stuff because it's not on CD. Gary said there was a song out by this band called David and David called ''Welcome to the Boom Town'' and that's not on CD as far as he knows. Yucko was laughing his ass off hearing that.
Howard asked Fred if they had that song. Fred said they actually did. Howard told him to play it. Fred played the song. Howard said Gary could just put it on a CD if he really wants it.
Yucko said that Gary could put his tooth down on the record to play it. He said he's like the Flintstone's record player. Gary said he didn't know why Yucko was laughing because he can't afford anything.
Gary said his son Lucas is the one who likes to play the records. He said he thinks they're interesting. Yucko kept laughing at all of that stuff. Gary said Yucko has nothing going on in his life and he's laughing at him. Gary told Yucko what he's working on now. Yucko said that's Gary's only argument. Gary said it's a good one.
Yucko did a monkey sound and goofed on Gary some more. Gary said that Yucko was thrown off the Killers of Comedy Tour. Yucko wasn't responding to those remarks. He just kept going at Gary and goofed on him about a bunch of stuff.
Howard said it would be funny if Gary did learn to play records with his teeth. He said he doesn't get why he has those 45s. Gary said he has a jukebox and asked if that was stupid too. Yucko said he thought it was stupid. Gary said that jukebox is wroth more than Yucko's trailer.
Yucko said that he thinks he got in some good jokes today. Gary said he referenced a weird comic book that no one knows. Yucko kept making the monkey sounds.
Gary told Yucko not to keep calling him to try and make up. Gary said he's not going to take his calls anymore. He said Will is going to handle his appearances from now on. They had some good comebacks for each other.
Howard let Yucko go and asked Robin who won that round. Robin said it was pretty even. She said that Gary did get in some good cuts though.
Howard asked Gary if he wears that necklace with his dress outfits only. Gary said he has only worn it a couple of times. Howard goofed on Gary about wearing it for a little while too. He was goofing on him about wearing a tire jack next time. Howard said that Gary's necklace isn't so cool and Gary said that his Ohm symbol isn't cool either. Howard said he never said his was cool.
Robin told Gary to wear a whole 45 on his neck instead of just that spindle adapter. Howard said that thing is really big and it was a shock to see it around his neck. Gary said that Robin has that Japanese symbol tattooed on her tit and it's even bigger than that spindle. Robin said it's not bigger and told him to bring that thing in there.
Howard said Gary looks like Flavor Flav with that thing on. Howard said Gary should wear a Water Pik around his neck. Gary told him he had some Flavor Flav stuff to play. Howard said he was distracting him to get him off of that subject.
Gary said Flavor Flav put out a ballad and he used that autotune thing that Howard was talking about earlier this morning. While he was doing that Sal was behind Gary goofing on him. He was wearing a 45 record around his neck.
Howard played the clip he played earlier in the morning that he got from Kidd Chris. Chris had put the guy from American Idol through the autotune thing. That's what Flavor Flav put his voice through for this song he has out now. Howard played that too but didn't sound too impressed. He said he likes that kid from American Idol. He said they weren't all that different.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he gets head from Beth. He wondered if he can get it on demand or what. Howard said you can't do that unless you have a Geisha girl. Howard said Beth is pretty good about it when he asks for it. He said she'll take the initiative and get started with it once in a while.
The caller said he saw a thing on the internet and they had some cell phones popping pop corn. Howard said it's frightening what these things do. He said he heard that the popcorn thing is a fake though. He said there is truth that the cell phones put out this stuff that can give people cancer. He said he doesn't really want to talk into these things. He said they say that there is a 31 year old guy who has brain tumors from walking around with a cell phone on his head all the time. Howard said that CNN found that the popcorn video was a fake. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that was his man singing. It was the great Pat Monahan singing. Robin said she knew that. Howard said he has a big hit song now. He wasn't able to think of the name of it though. Howard said it was a big hit from their latest album and they had it on CSI Miami or one of those CSI shows. Howard said the guy deserves it because he's so talented. Fred said it might be ''Hey Soul Sister.'' Robin said she didn't know that was their song. Howard said they did that song there in the studio. He had Fred play some of the song for Robin. Howard said he's happy for Pat and the band.
Howard was talking about how bands have to get paid and it's tough these days. Robins said that Howard is all about getting paid and that's why people are singing with those autotune things. Howard said that maybe he should try singing through that autotune thing. He said maybe that's what he's been doing wrong.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Howard said he was sorry for what he did yesterday when he asked Steve Langford about who was the better reporter and he said it was Shuli. Howard said Lisa must be hurt. Lisa said she's not hurt. She said that she knows how Brad Driver thinks of her and he's her boss so she's fine.
Howard asked Lisa if she thinks she's better than Shuli. Lisa doesn't look at it like that. She said that he's great with the wack packers and he's hysterical. They all have their own strengths there. Howard said he was still sorry about what he did to Lisa. Lisa said it's fine.
Lisa said they spoke to Gary about his son Lucas wanting to convert to Judaism. Howard said Gary has to tell that kid how Jews are treated.
Lisa said that High Pitch Eric is in hot water with Bob Levy already since moving in with him a few weeks ago. Howard said that's no surprise. Lisa said that Bob gave Eric 2 strikes for calling a woman the C-word. Eric also invited over some friends to Bob's house for Super Bowl Sunday without Bob's permission. Bob is going to teach Eric by beating him down and wrestling him whenever he wants to get up.
Lisa said that writer Maura Stone has mentioned Howard in her new book (Five-Star FLEECING) that takes place in New York in 1994 and 1995. Lisa said that one character is an obsessed Stern fan and Fred Norris appears in the novel as well.
Howard said the weatherman always screws up. Gary said that guy Tex said ''Confucius say rape is inevitable so sit back and enjoy it.'' Howard had remembered it pretty well. They talked about that guy and what a mess he was. Howard said the guy kind of looked like him with a shitty moustache.
Howard mentioned that Jillian Barberie sent him a picture of herself with her new baby. He said she looks good after having the kid. Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jillian has been talking about Howard on her twitter page. Howard said she's amazing that she can twitter about him and still do the Twitter thing. Howard said he should have banged her when he had the chance. He said she's a lot to handle though. He said she's got a lot of issues like talking a lot. He said that they'd probably be competing for time.
Howard said he heard that Jillian likes gun play in bed and he thinks that would be fun. He said that she'd probably be really good in bed too.
Gary told Howard about this iPhone app that's out that has Stern show trivia. Gary asked Howard some questions that were in the app. Howard answered the questions since he knew the history of his own show. Gary asked one question about Robin signing a TV deal in 2004 and which company it was. Howard wasn't sure what that one was. Howard got it when he had a multiple choice answer. Howard and Robin were throwing out answers as soon as they knew them. A lot of the questions were pretty tough. Howard wasn't sure who could answer all of those.
Sal said that one of the questions was wrong. He had written the song that was quoted in the app and they had it wrong. Howard said Sal would know because he wrote that song. They had to go to break after that.
Howard said that Heidi was raised in Germany and she didn't think that being naked was that big of a deal. Heidi said that's true. Howard said that good looks aren't a problem for her either. He said she's really good looking. She thanked him for that.
Howard said that Heidi is like Hitler's dream girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. Howard said the guy did know women.
Howard said it took an American Soldier to make Hitler's dream come true. The guy had to bang Heidi's mom to get it right. Howard asked if they talk about Hitler over in Germany. She said they never really learned about him. They don't talk about him in school. She said that she was an exchange student in Texas and everyone would ask her about Hitler. She said they were very rude about it too. Howard said he knew a guy who went to Germany and history didn't start until 1975 from what he heard.
Howard asked Heidi if she went to school in short skirts and stuff. She said she did and her teacher would tell her not to cross her legs so he could see up her skirt. She was wearing some panties just for Howard this morning. He had seen they were yellow. Howard asked to see more of them so she showed him.
Howard asked Heidi if she made love to any of her teachers. She said she had a crush on one guy but she didn't do anything. She said that he wasn't the type to do that kind of thing.
Howard asked Heidi if she's good at identifying Jews. Howard played Guess Who's the Jew with her. He had Fred doing his Kurt Waldheim Jr. impression. Fred told her that he would turn that fat little Jew in the corner (Benjy) into a lamp shade for her.
Howard had Fred give her 3 names to figure out who the Jew was. Fred, or Kurt, gave her Kim Cattrell, Uma Thurman and Jennifer Connelly. Heidi guessed that it was Kim Cattrell. Kurt said that it was actually Jennifer Connelly. He said she had a catholic father but her mother was Jewish.
Howard asked Heidi about how she got to Texas. She said that she was an exchange student and she ended up finishing school in Germany but she wanted to come back to America. She said she went to school for dental hygiene so that's what she was doing. She was also modeling. Heidi said she was doing magazine work and runway modeling.
Howard said that this guy in Texas dumped her. He asked her what happened there. Heidi said she moved in with the guy and he was head over heels for her. Two months laster he started to treat her like shit. Howard said she seems very nice and he can't imagine why someone would do that. Heidi said he was 26 and he was trying to be Mr. College Guy like a 20 year old. She said that he had beer pong and stuff going on. Heidi said she went to L.A. for two weeks and he met some other girl and when she came back she got kicked out.
Howard asked if it's hard to get legitimate modeling work after doing Penthouse. She said that Heidi isn't her real name so she's not worried about that. Howard said that Heidi Baron is a secret name. Howard wondered if her accent was bullshit too. Heidi laughed.
Howard said he heard that Heidi's father was okay with her doing the magazine. She said that he was but he didn't see the nude shots. Howard said that she's very open in the shots. Heidi said she didn't know it was going to be so graphic. She said that she does keep clean back there though so she wasn't worried about that.
Howard asked if she likes anal. Heidi said that she has done it and some guys just try to stick it in there like it's going to be wet like the pussy. She said that they have to do something to get it going. She said that they can gradually open it up after getting it wet. Howard said he likes that she's adventurous and wants to try this stuff.
Howard read that Heidi dated Jarred Leto. He said he was on that show ''My So Called Life.'' Heidi said she never saw that and she didn't know who he was when he came up to her at the gym. She said that she went out with him for a few months and it came down to being just sex and she didn't like that. Heidi said she never called him and she let him come to her. Heidi said that he never took her out and he'd just bang her and didn't treat her with respect.
Howard told Heidi that he'd treat her right. He said that he'd take her out and wine and dine her. He said she's probably a lot of fun. Heidi said she is. Howard asked if she will touch a guy under the table and tuff like that. She said that she would do that. Howard said he'd fuck her in Times Square so everyone could see.
Heidi said that Jarred was weird and she heard that he was bi-sexual so that was kind of weird. Howard said that he can't be that bi if he was banging her. Howard said that other guys might put him down because he's with someone so hot. Howard said he's probably not bi.
Howard asked if Jarred has a big penis. Heidi said that he's huge. She said that he's like a black man. Howard asked how many inches he is. She said she's not good with that. She said it's the biggest one she's ever seen. Howard asked if she was shocked at the size and said something about it. She said she played it cool and didn't say anything. She said it was just a new project for her. Howard asked if he had to ease it in because it was so big. She said that he's a smooth guy and he didn't just jam it in there. Heidi said he knows what he's doing and he's good at that.
Howard asked if it excites her when she sees something that big. She said it does. She said that it can be a big thing but some men don't know how to use it. Howard said he's not that big and he doesn't know how to use it. He said he just puts it in and hopes it works out.
Howard said he'd be happy if the guy was good looking and didn't have a big penis. Howard said he got stuck with a bad face and a small penis and it's just not fair.
Howard read that Heidi had a threesome with two other women in front of her boyfriend. Heidi said she loves women. She said that it's hard to find women who truly like women. She said that some women come up to her just so they can be seen with her by men. Howard asked if she has ever been in a long relationship with a woman. She said that she's attracted to women but might not be able to have a relationship.
Howard asked Heidi to describe her ideal woman. Heidi said she likes Angelina Jolie and petite women. She said she doesn't like the Butchy types, she likes feminine women.
Howard asked if she's seeing anyone now. Heidi said she's seeing a guy now and he's 36. She's 23. Heidi said that she's standing with him through some tough times. She said that he's got some money but he's having some tough times.
Howard said that the guy must be good looking. Heidi said he is. Howard asked where he met the women that she was with. She said it was his birthday and they met some women at a club in Hollywood. She said she brought them back to their place to celebrate his birthday. She said that she met the girls while dancing at the club.
Howard had Heidi dance with him for a few seconds. Howard said he might not have the looks or the penis but he can dance his ass off. Heidi was laughing at him. She said that he was turning her on but she sounded like she was joking. Howard said Heidi was throwing up.
Howard asked Heidi more about the girls she met at the club and she told him that women come up to her all the time at clubs. Howard said the boyfriend must love that. Heidi said that he does.
Heidi said she got drunk and the girls asked her boyfriend if she was bi. She said she blacked out and ended up in the bed with the girls. She said she didn't remember anything that went on. She wasn't sure how she got naked or in the bed with the other girls. Howard asked if the sex was done by then. She said that it was still going on. Heidi said one of the girls had a boyfriend and he came in and saw what was going on and ran out upset.
Howard asked Heidi if she was having orgasms from the sex. She said she was. Howard asked what the boyfriend did. She said that he just watched. He didn't join in or jerk off or anything. Howard said he'd be jerking off in the corner like an ape in a cage.
Howard gave Heidi some plugs for an appearance she's making down in Florida this weekend. You can get tickets at PenthouseSuperParty.com
Howard read about some other stuff Heidi did over in Germany when she was living there. She said that she met an older French guy there and he brought her to a swinger club when she was only 17. Howard said that's wild. He asked why a guy would do that and not just bring her home. Heidi said she didn't want to be with some other person because they were all nasty. She said that they had a free buffet there and there were rooms to do things with other people. She said that she watched the guy do other girls. She said she watched and it was interesting to her.
Howard asked Heidi how many times a day she has sex with her boyfriend. She said they don't do it every day. She said she likes to use a vibrator though. Howard had to dump out of something that Heidi was saying. She was talking about legal issues over something. She said she was 15 or 16 and this guy who was almost 40 was in the dressing room and tried to make her give him head. She said that last year the FBI called her to show up in court but she didn't show up. Heidi said the guy ended up getting out on bail. Howard had dumped out of some of the information so we didn't hear the whole story.
Howard took a call from a guy who was trying to speak German but it wasn't understandable. Anther caller was doing a Gary the Retard impression but Howard hung up on him.
Jeff the Drunk called in and asked if she's a cum guzzler. She said she doesn't swallow. Howard asked why she doesn't do that. She said she likes it squirted on her face but she doesn't like to swallow. She said that she has to keep her eyes closed though. She said the taste and smell of it isn't good. Howard said that she should taste his and Fred's because it's like $800 wine.
Another caller asked if she would ride the Syrian. Heidi wasn't sure. Howard told her that it could give her a great orgasm. Howard said the thing is very expensive and it's a giant vibrator.
Heidi agreed to ride it but she wouldn't take her panties off because she was on the rag. Howard told her to give it a try and she'll like it. She was giggling the whole time they were setting her up. Howard told her to just let them know how it feels. Howard asked if she had implants. She said they were real and Howard didn't believe it. She took her shirt off and then the bra off. Howard said she looked good now. The guys were all telling her that the Sybian doesn't work with clothes on.
Howard had Gary put on his mask. He had a Fencing mask on this time. Howard asked if that was less offensive to Heidi. She said it was. Howard had Gary turn the machine on and had him turn that up slowly. Heidi was just giggling and laughing the whole time. She said she was sweating. Howard told her to let them know what was going on with her. She wasn't saying anything, just laughing.
Heidi said it was tough for her to be on that thing. She told Gary to stop the machine but Howard told her to keep going if it felt good. She said stop a couple of times and Will said it might be rape. Howard asked if she was done. Howard told Gary to take it down. Gary turned down the power and Heidi said something happened. She said she was weak from it. She said she thinks she busted a nut. Heidi was barely able to stand after that.
Howard asked what she thought of the Sybian. She said it was amazing. She said it was much better than Jarred Leto.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he thinks about her and Beth getting it on. Howard said he doesn't think he could handle that. The caller said he could film it and give some direction and keep it for the times he wants to jerk off. Howard said that would be a sexy image of the two of them together. He said he'd probably be in the corner jerking off and not be involved in that.
Howard said he likes Heidi and said that she's bad at spotting Jews. She said her boyfriend is actually a Jew. Howard gave her some more plugs and wrapped up with her. Heidi gave a shout out to a friend of her's that asked her to do that. She said that he's a big fan of the show and he wanted her to do that. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back from break and said that Sarah Silverman was there. He asked if she was on the Sybian yet. Robin said she was waiting out in the green room and not on the Sybian.
Howard said that Sarah's TV show is coming back for a third season. Howard told Benjy not to hound people from Penthouse to get his girlfriend in the magazine. Benjy said they came up to him. Howard said he'd argue with him after Sarah left.
Sarah came in and said that she has a friend who worships Fred. Fred told her not to say that because it upsets Howard. Howard said he does get upset about that but Fred is a good guy. Howard said the guy should worship him. Sarah said the guy does worship Howard too.
Sarah said that this guy has recordings from when he was 10 years old and he was doing some hard core dirty stuff at that age. She said his name is Danny Sterling. Gary said he heard some of it. Howard told Sarah to send it to them and they'll play them on the air. Howard said he did some dirty puppet shows around that age.
Howard asked Sarah if she lost weight. She said she lost 11 pounds in a year. Howard said that's interesting that she decided to do that all of a sudden. Howard said Sarah knows how to dress all of a sudden.
Howard said he has theories about Sarah. He feels he lost Sarah in the break up between her and Jimmy. Howard said he's tried to maintain a relationship with her and she's not living up to her part. Howard said that Jimmy has been to his home since the break up. Sarah said she would come if she was invited. Howard said Jimmy just shows up and tells him when he's going to be in town. Sarah said that she's going to do that too then. She's going to bring her new beau to his house.
Howard said he read that Sarah is with a comedian and she's always dating guys like that. Sarah said she has to. She said Howard can't date someone without a sense of humor either.
Howard said the break up really made him sad. He said that Sarah and Jimmy were really close and they were good together. Howard said he didn't know what happened but he read about it in Mike Walker's column and now he gets it.
Howard said he read that Sarah caught Jimmy with his current girlfriend and that's why she brought up. Sarah said that is not true and both she and Jimmy saw the story and they both knew it was made up. Sarah said she used to point out the legs on this Molly chick and she never knew that Jimmy was going to fall for her. She said she's happy for Jimmy. She said that she loves him so much and she's rooting for him. Howard said he heard that she's not allowed on the show anymore. She said that's not true. She was just letting it breathe a little bit. Sarah said that she thinks she'll be back on the show sometime.
Sarah said she was cleaning out her desk and found some CDs that Molly made for her. Howard said Jimmy brought Molly to his house out in the Hampton's. Howard asked if she's still in love with Jimmy. Sarah said she loves him but she's not in love with him. Howard asked what happened and why they broke up. Sarah said it wasn't abrupt like Howard says it was. Howard said he thinks that Jimmy was hurt by the break up. Sarah said that she knows that and she's sure he was hurt. She said she was hurt when they broke up the first time.
Howard asked why Jimmy would do that to her. Sarah said that he doesn't have the life experience that some of them have for dating. Sarah said that she understands Jimmy and where that came from. She said it really hurt her hard. She said she understood it though. Howard asked why they got back together if Jimmy didn't like her anymore. Howard said it was odd how Jimmy tried to get back together with her and he fell in love again and Sarah wasn't in love with him anymore. Sarah said that she thinks that happens a lot.
Sarah said that the guy she's dating now works as a writer on Family Guy. She said she dated another guy who was an actor. Howard asked how this new guy got her. Howard said her ass is looking great and tight and it's never looked better. Howard said her body has a curve and she was showing some cleavage. Howard told her to get on the Sybian now.
Howard said Sarah grew a moustache for her new season of her TV show. He said she finds out that she was born with a penis and a vagina in that episode and she wants to become a man. Howard said the episode was really funny. He said that her real sister is in the show too. Howard said he read that she has another sister who lives in Israel. Sarah said she makes fun of her because she's never been to Israel. Howard asked if it was true she doesn't go because she doesn't like Jewish people. Sarah said that they are a little pushy.
Howard asked Sarah if she would work with Mel Gibson in a movie if he asked. She said she probably wouldn't but she's not sure.
Howard asked if she's following the late night TV show wars. She said she loves it all. Sarah said that Conan has done well by NBC and they really screwed him. She said that they moved Conan out to L.A. and they only gave him six months and then took the show away. Sarah said that's really shitty of them to do that. Howard said that Jay the scumbag stabbed him in the back too. Howard asked if she'll do Jay's show. Sarah said she probably won't but she doesn't know for sure. She said that she blames NBC more than Jay. Sarah said that doing Jay's show is really easy to do. She said that Letterman is squeamish and dark but at least he's authentic. She said that Dave is the best and you just want to please him.
Howard said that Jay Leno is a monster. He said he's like the Wolfman. He said that NBC has humiliated Jay twice now and he can't stand up and walk away from them. He said that he should have done that the first time they fired him. He said that Jay is a phony, a fraud and a dick.
Sarah said that Jay is always talking about how he lives off the road money he makes while he's sitting on top of all of the Tonight Show money. Sarah said that he's like Silas Marner. Fred and Howard said that was way over this audience's head.
Howard asked Sarah if she thinks Jimmy is going to be upset about her losing weight and getting into shape. She said she doesn't think so.
Howard asked Sarah how long she waited to get into a relationship with another man. She said it was a long time. Sarah said she felt that she had put too much on it. She said that she had been with Jimmy for 7 years and it was like the next guy was going to be breaking that seal.
Howard asked if the first guy she dated was worried about the whole thing since the relationship was so public. Sarah said that he was worried about that and she didn't think he should rule his life that way. Sarah said this guy she's dating now doesn't give a shit about that and he just rolls with it. Howard asked if they spend a lot of time together. Sarah said they're together every day. His name is Alec.
Sarah was drinking a Red Bull so Howard asked what was up with that. She said that she's been doing shows non stop and she's trying to be fresh with him. She said she did Letterman last night and she thought that she was being frantic but she watched it this morning and it was fine. Sarah said Dave was upset with the crowd. She said that he referenced the crowd saying that maybe they could go over to her show and ruin that too.
Howard asked Sarah about what she did on the show last night. Sarah said she tried to get Dave to play along with her and that's just not what he does. She said that she was kind of trying to move the interview into other things and Dave would take the reins back.
Howard said he knows what Sarah is talking about. He said that he has had the same experience. Howard said that he has learned that if Dave wants to go there then just go with him. He said that if it's not funny then don't be funny. He said it's okay to answer seriously.
Howard asked Sarah if she was on for just one segment. She said it was just one but it was pretty long. Howard laughed when she said that. Howard said he thinks it's funny that they're discussing that one or two segments thing like it really matters.
Sarah said that she didn't want to talk to Dave in the middle of the break so a bunch of other people came up to her and told her she did a great job.
JD came in and said that Sarah wears outfits that show cleavage and she doesn't do that on Howard's show. Howard said she looks great. JD said she looks great but she dresses up more for Letterman. Howard said Dave picks up chicks. Sarah said she dresses formal for Dave because he likes that. JD said she should dress sexier for Howard than she does. Howard said he thinks he's out of line.
Howard asked JD if he wishes he could go out with her. JD said he doesn't really know her. Robin said he didn't know Ashley Dupre either and he asked her out. Sarah said ''Oh please JD'' like she was asking him out.
Howard asked Sarah if she saw Paris Hilton at the Letterman show last night. Sarah said she did not. She said that they don't let you see anyone else there. Sarah said it's kind of weird over there the way they take you out of there without letting you say goodbye to Dave. Howard said he gets busy with those blue cards so it looks like he's doing something else. Sarah said Dave didn't even give her a glance after the interview.
Howard asked if Sarah thinks about bringing up Dave's dating his staff. Sarah said that stuff doesn't surprise her and she didn't think about bringing it up. Sarah said she's a comic and she has that thing inside her that she just wants to please Dave. Howard said he would have to bring up that whole thing if he went on the show. That's why it's probably best that he not go on.
Howard said Sarah has this desire to please Dave and the whole staff seems to have that. He said that some of them went further than others though. Sarah said that she gets dressed up for Dave too. She said they don't show clips of her show on his show and it's like his show has to be more classy and elegant. She said that some of the best stuff is on TV right now. She aid that show ''Damages'' is great. She said she loves it so much. Robin said that she heard that Damages was good. Sarah said that it's Sopranos good.
Sarah is working on a book so Howard asked her about that. Sarah said that most of it is about her life in high school and before. She said that she talks about a lot of the things that happened to her as a kid. Howard asked if she wrote about her grandmother killing her brother. Sarah said that was a terrible way to put it but she did write about it.
Sarah said that her parents had a son and her mom was a winner on that show ''Concentration'' and won a bunch of prizes. She said that they kept a trip to Bermuda and waited for the baby to be born. Sarah said that the baby was 3 months old when they went on the cruise and they left the baby with the grandmother. they had a portable crib and the grandpa went to find the baby and the baby was gone. It turned out the baby had slipped down and suffocated in the crib. She said they had to call her parents back from their cruise. Sarah said that her parents had this weird thing for feeling bad for the grandparents and there was this weird thing where they felt bad for the grandparents and not the parents.
Sarah said that was all very awful. She said that her oldest sister told them the story when she was like 5 and she was intrigued by the whole thing. She said that her Nana picked them up one day and she sued to joked around about stuff when she was a kid. She said that her Nana took them out and told them to put on their seat belts and she said ''Yeah, so we don't end up like Jeffrey.'' She said her grandmother burst into tears. Sarah said that chapter is going to be called ''The First Time I Bombed.''
Howard said he read that she got paid $2 million to write that book. Sarah said that's true. Howard said that she must be getting paid better than the boyfriend. She said she's not sure about that.
Howard asked where Sarah met this guy from Family Guy. Sarah said she had seen him over the years and always thought he was handsome but never thought of him in a sexual way when she was with Jimmy. Sarah said she ended up getting on Twitter after Howard's show started doing it. Sarah said she was following this guy because he's so funny. She said that he followed her too and they ended up sending direct messages. Sarah said she wrote to him that he was really funny and he wrote back and they went back and forth. She said that they eventually moved to email and they were going back and forth in that. Howard said he can't do email like that. He said he's not witty in email.
Sarah said that Alec is good at doing all of that. She said that they eventually met when she invited him over to her place. She said she was all ready for bed that night. She said she saw an email from him and told him to come over. They had never even talked on the phone. She asked him to come over and feel her forehead until she fell asleep. Howard said that's some sense of humor she has. Sarah said she was in hospital pants and ready for bed. Howard asked if he banged her that night. Sarah smiled. Sarah said that they did make love that night. Sarah said that she had seen pictures of him but she was surprised at how skinny he actually was. Sarah said that she wasn't sure if he'd be able to lift her to safety if there was an emergency. She said she asked him about that and he said he could. He said that he said that he might not be able to lift her if there was a fire or something. Howard said he's not sure he could lift up Beth either. He said he's pretty weak. Sarah said that he might die trying to lift her.
Howard asked if they had sex more than once that night. Sarah said it may have been one or two times. Howard asked if he had a bigger penis than Jimmy. Sarah said that they're about equal. Howard asked if Jimmy could lift her in an emergency. Sarah said he probably could.
Howard said he's very proud of Sarah. He said he doesn't feel so weird now. He said that maybe Molly is better for Jimmy than Sarah would have been in the long run. Howard said maybe Sarah will end up marrying this guy. Sarah said that she doesn't like marriage right now and she's not planning on getting married. She said she's angry at people who are getting married at all just to join that club of assholes who won't let gays get married. She said she loves when her friends get married but she doesn't want to do it herself.
Howard said Sarah is right and they should have a boycott of marriage until they allow gays to marry. He said that she's making a good point and he doesn't think she's joking at all. Sarah said she's not joking at all.
Howard said that Sarah's TV show on Comedy Central returns for its 3rd season tonight. Sarah said it's been 14 months since the last season was on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Sarah really is hot. Howard said she really does look great. Sarah said she's been doing this free app on her iPhone that keeps track of what you eat and it's working.
Howard said that Sarah hasn't been on the air for 14 months and she's upset about that. Sarah said that the people at Comedy Central are retarded. She said that they're literally retarded. She said she doesn't understand their business plan and they don't plan on changing it. Sarah said that they have to see every episode and how it performs in the ratings before they'll pick up another episode. Howard said he didn't understand that. He said that he didn't understand what she said. Robin said they don't commit to a season until the season is over. Sarah said they don't know if they're picked up until the entire season has aired. Howard got it after that.
Howard asked about Sarah sleeping with this guy after never meeting him. Sarah said that she had met him before but they hadn't really gone on a date or anything. They've been together every day since that first night. She said that he's there in New York with her but not there at the show. Howard said that's fantastic and he's happy for her. He added ''I guess'' to that statement. Howard said he wanted her to be unhappy a little longer after the break up with Jimmy.
Howard gave Sarah some more plugs and said that her book (The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee) is coming out in April. He took a few more phone calls for her after that. One guy said that he saw Sarah at some event he was at and she was smoking pot with a guy from the TV show ''Northern Exposure.'' Sarah said she loves to smoke pot. She said that she doesn't drink so she smokes pot instead. Sarah said she actually has a prescription for medical marijuana. She said she's pretty sure she wouldn't get arrested for having it on her.
Sarah said that Gary had the clips of the 10 year old doing the dirty talk that they mentioned earlier. Howard played one of the clips and it was this 10 year old cursing while doing a phony news story. Howard was laughing at it. Sarah said that Dan is the head writer on her show. Howard said that was some dirty stuff. Sarah said he talks about ''hot cum'' and stuff in the tape. Howard played some more of it and Dan was cursing like crazy in this fake news program he had created. Howard said this sounds like his own Batman and Robin tape. He said he thought he was the only one doing that as a kid.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard that Jimmy had gotten rid of another writer on his show so he could move Molly up. Sarah said that wasn't the case. She said that guy wanted to move up on the show but he couldn't do it there so Jimmy got him a job where he could. She said that Molly deserves that job that she got and Jimmy wouldn't just give her the job because they're a couple.
Ralph said that he had some of the weed that Sarah had and it was in a piece of candy or something. He said he's never been as high as he got on that stuff. Sarah said that it was Bonbons that she had that time. Ralph didn't remember what it was.
Howard let Ralph go and asked if Sarah has a new movie coming out. Sarah said that it's out now and it was with Peter Dinkladge and Steve Bushemi. Robin was jealous that she worked with Peter. She said she has a crush on him.
Howard read that she's in another movie called ''Peep World.'' Sarah said she's not sure what's going on with that movie. Sarah said that she worked with Michael C. Hall in that movie. Howard said that he didn't know that he had cancer when he saw him accepting an award with the skull cap on. He thought he was just trying to be like Benjy.
Howard told Sarah that he'd love to take her out to dinner but he's busy this weekend. Sarah said she's busy too. Howard gave her some more plugs and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked where that track came from. Fred said there is no clue but it's a great version of the song. Howard said it was beautiful. The guy spent a few minutes talking about Lennon and how great he was. Howard said he was more important to him than any religion ever was. Howard said that song may have been from John Lennon Acoustic which came out in 2004.
Howard had a guy on the phone who said that he thinks Steve Langford should have his own show there. The caller said that he thinks that he should have a 60 Minutes type of show. Howard asked Steve if he would want to do that. Steve said he thinks that the caller is in a very exclusive club. The caller said that's just that the show needs. Steve said he thinks it's working just fine the way it is.
Steve said that Captain Janks is due to be in court next Monday. Steve said that his crazed calls could get him into trouble in court if they use them. Howard said he heard that Scott Ferrall got upset with Janks when he called his show and talked about Steve's mom. Steve said that it might be a bad time for Janks to be doing that kind of thing since it shows his lack of sensibility.
Howard said that Janks is on a mad spree to insult Steve's mother. He said Steve is relentlessly covering him. Steve said he's done things about Janks in the past and he was saluting him in those days. Steve said this isn't the time for Janks to be doing what he's doing.
Steve said that the Howard 100 News network idea has started to spread. One football player is going to have his own news network and Rosie O'Donnell is thinking of doing the same for herself.
Steve said that Riley Martin is getting an extra air shift on Howard 101 when he sits in for Ferrall one night during his vacation. He's only getting paid for one hour even though he'll be doing 4.
Jon Hein came in and went over his list of subjects for today's Wrap Up Show.
Robin started her news with a story about a guy who was killed by a shark in Florida yesterday. Robin read about how many shark attacks there have been in the United States over the past couple of years. She said there have been 59 around the world and 32 were in Florida. Howard said he hates sharks and he'd be fine with getting rid of them all.
Robin read about Sarah Palin asking for Rahm Emanuel to be fired for using the term ''retarded.'' Captain Janks called in during that story and said that he's going after Steve because the guy has a problem with him. He said it's not just the news stories, it's the angle he takes with the story. Robin said he does have a point of view. Janks said that he takes stabs at him any chance he gets. Howard asked what it was he said. Janks said that Steve says that he's going to go into court and yell out obscenities. He said that Steve is just making that stuff up and if the judge is a listener, he's going to hear that. He said that Steve is a piece of shit.
Janks was winded so Howard asked if he was running from the police. Janks said he wasn't. He said that if Steve has a problem with him then he should take it up with him in the ring. He said that he's going to keep calling in and saying that Steve's mom is a cunt if he doesn't lay off.
Janks said that he doesn't like the angle he takes on the stories and he's sick of it. Janks said that Shuli and Lisa G are better reporters than Steve is. He said they don't make stuff up like Steve does. Janks said that every person there has a problem with him.
Steve came in so Howard let him know what Janks was saying. Steve said that the first question about no one liking him is not true and who cares even if it is. Steve said he's there to report the news and that's it. Steve also said that they have a voice mail of Janks saying that he's going to go into court and scream out obscenities. Janks said he never said that. He said that he was going to scream it in Steve's face, not in court.
Steve said that Janks wanted him to report on this. He called in and asked them to report on it. Steve said that he is just doing news and he has nothing against Janks. He said that he was an admirer of Janks when he used to prank call. He said now he has to get a job and pay back his victims. Janks said that he doesn't know what's going on so he can't comment on that. Janks said he is in the process of paying people back. Steve said ''Oh please...'' Steve told Janks to act like an adult and grow up. He doesn't believe that Janks is getting things together. Steve said that he doesn't believe that Janks is moving forward like he says he is.
Janks said if Steve has a problem with him then he should get in the ring and take care of it. Steve said that this is nonsense. He told Janks that his stories are rock solid and he's not making anything up. He said they've actually been very restrained in their stories. Steve told Janks to pay back the victims. Janks said he has paid back 19 people already. Steve told him to prove it. Steve said that he doesn't have a track record of being credible. Steve said he'd like to see all of them paid back.
Janks said that Steve is a sick, demented person who isn't better than anyone. Howard said he had to wrap this up and said he would like Janks to send him the fax about paying back the victims. Janks said he'll send it to Gary because he doesn't trust Steve. Janks was also saying that there are other people who have problems with Steve and they should come in and talk about that.
Janks and Steve went back and forth for a couple more minutes. Janks said that he will send over the fax and show that he has paid people back. Howard said he wanted to wrap this up but Janks kept bringing up the boxing match. Howard said he had to move on because he was running out of time.
Gary said he thinks that Steve would kick Janks' ass in the ring. Howard said that wouldn't settle anything anyway. Howard said that Janks is a scrappy kind of guy and he might be able to hold his own. Janks said he'd like to find out. He said he'll put gloves on and see.
Ralph called in and said that Janks did rip people off and lashing out at Steve is like digging a hole for himself further and further. He said that Steve is just doing his job. Janks said that Steve took his own little view on the whole thing and that's what he has a problem with. Howard said Steve has a problem with the way he did things and that's what he's pointing out in the reports. Steve didn't get why Janks was upset about the digs and told him to just move on and clean up his life.
Ralph asked Janks if he's really upset about the way Steve is harassing him when that's all he does on the phone with people. Steve said that Janks gave them permission to play the tapes on the air and today he's changing his mind again. Ralph got in a plug for his Geektime show that's on this Saturday from 2-4pm on Howard 101.
Howard had Robin get back to her news after that. Robin read a story about a woman who got in trouble for piercing her cat's ears and selling them as ''Gothic.'' Robin had another story about how there are people removing their dog's vocal chords so they can't bark anymore. They say that ''de-barking'' is a way to keep from putting the animals to sleep. Howard said that's one way but that's pretty harsh. They had to take a break after that.
After the break, around 10:30am, Howard came right back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin read about Regis and his wife putting out an album.
Robin had a story about Katie Couric possibly being fired from CBS or her being moved. Howard said the speculation is about whether or not they're going to renew her contract when it's up for renewal. Howard said they might be displeased that they're the third rated newscast. Robins aid they have let some people go from the news department.
Robin read a story about a self-help guru who was charged with 3 counts of manslaughter after they died in a sweat lodge. Howard said those sweat lodges are so dumb. He said that you're supposed to have mystical visions at those things and it's a bunch of nonsense. He said it's all very childish.
Robin read about the star of the movie Precious wanting Justin Timberlake to take her to the Academy Awards. Howard said that this woman is a very good actress but she's a very sick woman. He said she's obese times 2. Robin said that she saw the Tyra Banks show and they had a couple of really huge women on. She said that one woman gets dressed up and does stuff on camera for people. She can barely walk because she's so fat though. Robin said the boyfriend thinks that it's great and wants her to gain even more weight. Howard said it's hard to say no to a young woman about going to the awards show so Justin is going to have to decide on that. Howard hopes that she can lose some weight and get some more acting roles. He said that she has to lose weight either way because it's just not healthy to be that big.
Robin read about how Oprah is going to do a show about diabetes to scare some of her fans about the disease. Howard said that he wants to do a show on people who shit their pants.
Robin read a story about a study that was done that found that students who have high grades are more likely to end up with bi-polar disorder. Howard said a lot of creative types turn out to be bi-polar. He and Robin spent a couple of minutes talking about that. Robin said that maybe it's alright to be average.
Robin said that she mentioned a story about a pagan ceremony at a military air force. She said that it's already been defiled and someone put a cross in the space that was going to be used. Howard said he was into this pagan stuff for a while. He said he prayed to middle earth. Howard said he gave that up though.
Robin said schools in Indianapolis are going to start late on Monday morning because the Super Bowl is going to be on. They will have a delayed opening but only by 1 hour.
Robin read about how they're relaxing liquor laws in Tampa for the Super Bowl. They're going to allow people to drink on the streets this weekend because of the Super Bowl. Robin had some audio of a woman talking about the new rules. Howard said he heard they're going to allow murder for 2 hours after the game too.
Robin read some other news about the Super Bowl and the teams. She had some details about the teams and what the players are saying about it. She had some audio clips of some players talking about the game too.
Robin read a story about a Tiger woods mistress who is upset that someone is disturbing golf balls with her image on them. She's upset that the balls will be damaged and may lead to violence against women. They're trying to stop sales of the golf balls.
Robin read about some travel deals for Florida around Super Bowl time. Robin had some audio of a travel agent talking about the deals there are out there. Howard said he can't imagine the mentality of people who have to go to a party for the Super Bowl. He said he doesn't get that at all. Fred said he has people over. Howard asked if they could imagine that party.
Gary said he doesn't understand how Howard doesn't get that. He said that he's got to understand why people would have a party for something like that. Howard asked if he's going to pull out his stools for the big party. Howard said it's so lame to go and watch a stupid game with the guys. He said that's fuckin' lame. Gary said that's a really insane idea. Howard goofed on Gary about his home theater stools again. Gary said he's alone on this one. Howard said he's not looking for a bunch of people to watch the game with him. He goofed on Gary's 45 spindle medallion too.
Howard said he likes hanging out with the guys but they were out looking for girls. Howard asked Fred who he has over. Fred said they have another family over and they watch until Half time and then go their own way. He said he watches the rest of the game after he puts his daughter to bed.
Fred said he used to have Super Bowl parties there but he didn't see any guys. He said they had ladies there. Gary said that wasn't a real super bowl party. That was a married guy party.
Ralph said he's with Howard on that. He said he doesn't want to hear other guys commenting on the game. He said it's really annoying. Gary said Ralph couldn't gather 10 friends together if he wanted to. Ralph said he can't imagine sitting there with Gary talking about football. He said that would be so annoying. Ralph said these guys yell at the TV like they could do better. Howard asked if Lucas has to sit on a pillow or does he get a chair. Gary said that they're all over the house so they can sit where they want. Gary said he had about 25 people last year.
Howard said he likes that 45 spindle thing that Gary has. He said he could use it if he had any 45 records. Howard said that Fred has never invited him to his house. Fred said he would but he knows he wouldn't come. Howard said he doesn't want to be invited. Fred said he thinks that Howard would only go if there were other celebrities there. He said if Jimmy Kimmel and Rob Zombie were there, Howard would show up. Howard asked when Rob Zombie became famous. Fred said he is famous.
Howard said he doesn't like the party thing around the Super Bowl. He said he wouldn't want to go to Fred's place either. He and Fred were going back and forth on that party thing.
Bob Levy called in and said that there is no reason to have a party if your team isn't in the game. He said that the women babble all over the game anyway. Howard said he agrees with that. He said that he likes watching the game but not with people around. He said he doesn't want to watch with other people. Bob said the women always make it into their own thing and talk about ''the blue team'' being in the game and stuff.
Gary said that Scott DePace thinks that Howard needs to see a shrink. Howard said he'll actually be seeing one today. Howard said that whole thing just isn't for him. He said he's not interested in that. Gary said he was saying that it was stupid for everyone. Howard said it's just stupid for him.
Howard had Robin get back to her news. She read a story about the porn industry not needing to wear condoms. They are no longer being required to do so. Howard said they shouldn't be regulating the porn industry. Robin said they have to use state funds to pay for anyone who gets sick though. Howard said sex is running rampant out there outside of the porn industry.
Fred said he thinks it's stupid to be married to a woman and wear a condom. Howard asked what he uses. Fred said he doesn't use anything. He said he's not sure he would use a condom if he was going to practice birth control. Howard asked Fred what he did before he wanted to have a kid. Howard said ''Oh yeah, you didn't have sex.''
Robin read a story about Tiger Woods and his wife spending time in a sex rehab facility. The couple will be traveling together to try and give their relationship another chance.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that they have to leave it to the two gayest guys on the show to say that a Super Bowl party is gay. Howard said he likes the Super Bowl but he doesn't want a party. Howard said he doesn't like watching the game with a bunch of guys. He said he'd rather be alone. He said he'd rather not get stuck in a stool in the home theater at Gary's house. Gary said he's not invited.
Robin read a story about a man who is in a vegetative state. Howard interrupted and said that was Fred. He said that Fred can communicate even in that state. Robin got a laugh out of that. Howard said they found that people have understanding when they're in a coma. Robin said they found that they can communicate with this one man in a vegetative state. Robin said that they found that this man would change his brain activity to communicate. Robin said they found a way to figure out if there was anything going on in the guy's head and they found that he could answer yes and no changing his brain waves. Howard said he hopes this doesn't keep people from letting go of these people in a vegetative state. Robin wrapped up her news a short time later. Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
The guys talked about how ridiculous Howard's argument was and how a lot of people party around the game. JD was in so Jon asked him if he goes to those parties. JD said he does sometimes but it's not that big of a deal to him.
Gary said that there are guys who watch the game and do it to the extreme. Jon said he watched the game with just his family last year and he just wanted to watch the game without interruption. He said if he had friends who were big Steeler fans then maybe he would have them over. Jon said that he does like to watch the game and he doesn't like distractions with small talk. Jon said that he doesn't have patience for that. Gary has a great room for doing that. He can have people around the house talking and have the game on in a room that he can concentrate on.
Gary said Howard just isn't that interested. He said he likes football now more than 10 years ago but he wouldn't be upset if he missed a game. Gary said he would be devastated if he missed it.
Gary said that last year he had his man cave and the theater with the game on. He said everyone piled in to watch the half time show but then everyone left and the people who don't give a shit about sports went home. Gary said that some of the wives left before the game was over but anyone who was left were hard core fans. Jon said that if the game is close he wants to watch it.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they take it personally when Howard says he doesn't want to be in their house. Gary said he thinks Fred takes it the hardest. Gary said that he's fine with Howard not wanting to be around him. He has plenty of other people who do want to be around him.
The caller said that he'd love to get a tour of the studio. Jon said they can't give him that but he can give him some cupcakes. The guy was a diabetic but he took the prize anyway. It was cupcakes from Crumbs Bakery.
Jon said that the man of the hour just walked in. Fred came in so Jon asked him about Howard's comments about not wanting to hang out. Fred said that he hates to make Gary a liar but he really doesn't get upset.
Fred said he just has fun with the whole thing and that's why he tossed back at him. He said if someone is going to slap at him he's going to slap back. Fred said he never knows how strong his hand is and his wife points that out at times.
Jon asked why Howard can't relate to the party thing. Fred said he's not sure why he doesn't find fun in that. He said he'd have to ask Howard why that is. Fred said when he watches the game it's just for fun.
Another caller brought up Howard and Ralph's feelings on that whole thing and how Howard seems to think that anything guys do normally isn't right. The guy said Howard is like that with a lot of stuff. He thinks that whatever he does is the right thing and nothing else is right.
Benjy said that this is like the argument that Gary and Scott had. He said that they get upset when other people aren't into what they're into.
Fred said that maybe watching football is for morons. He said he's a moron and he loves it. Fred said that there are people who are gamblers or whatever and they're way too into the games and that can get kind of crazy. Fred said he wouldn't want to get into that. He said he's not a gambler and he doesn't like to throw his money around like that.
Fred said he and Howard are in different places in their lives right now. Fred said that he's very into being with his daughter and family and maybe Howard isn't into that same kind of thing. Fred also talked about how Howard showed up to his apartment one time unannounced. He said they checked out what was going on there and they left. Gary said it sounds like it was a home inspection. Fred said it kind of was like a home inspection. He said that they saw that his wife was in control and not him so they thought it was okay.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard has a different frame of reference for what guys like. He said that he doesn't care for the idol chit chat during a game. The guy said that he agrees with Howard on that. He said that's why he doesn't invite people over. He said he agrees with Jon about wanting to watch the game last year. He actually left his brother in law in the driveway stuck in the ice so he could watch the game.
Jon took another call from a guy who told Fred how great he is. He said he liked the way he called Howard out for being a star fucker. Fred said he was just pulling out anything he had and he was just having fun. He said he doesn't think Howard is actually a star fucker.
Bob Levy called in and said he had to agree with Gary on one thing. He said if your team is in the Super Bowl then you want to have friends over. He said that it gets annoying when your team isn't in the game. Bob said that you want to see the game.
Gary said that it sounds like Bob is going to be entertaining High Pitch Eric's friends. Bob said he already put a stop to that.
Jon let Bob go and took another call. The caller said his family uses the Super Bowl as a family reunion. He said they get the whole family together to celebrate. Fred said that the only time his wife will watch a game is at a party like that. He said she rarely watches unless the local team is in it.
The caller said that they have to keep that Berry Faced shit off the show. He said he knows that he's Howard's buddy but they don't have to let him on the show. Fred said he thinks Howard has fun with those calls because Ralph isn't like anyone else when he gives his opinion. The caller said he loves the show but he'd rather listen to Mariann from Brooklyn over Ralph. Gary said Ralph has his fans out there. He said that not everyone hates him.
A woman called in and told the guys that there are some women who like the games too. She said that they took care of the food before hand but they watched the game last year. She said that it's not a social thing for everyone. She said that she might be in the minority but no one should be forced to socialize on a day like that. They had to go to break after that.
Jon said that she was saying that she dresses formally for Letterman. Fred said he wonders if she does that to excite Dave or maybe she's trying to make him uncomfortable. JD said she did it the last time she was on the show too though and he doesn't think that's what it is.
Jon said it seemed a little awkward in the studio when they were talking about Jimmy and Sarah's break up. Gary said that Howard and Jimmy are very good friends and she knows that jimmy is listening so there must be a lot of pressure on her.
Jon said that Sarah was saying that she has kept in touch with Howard and he's never invited her over. Then Howard told her to just pop on over and Sarah said she wouldn't do that. Gary said it has to be weird when you go on a show and talk about your love life.
Jon said it was kind of awkward in there and he was wondering if maybe Howard was trying to stand by Jimmy but not overwhelmingly. The guys said Howard has been closer to Jimmy for a while now and maybe he does lean more in his direction.
Jon said that Howard was fascinated with the way Sarah met her boyfriend through Twitter. They had met before but most of their relationship was through Twitter and email. The guys talked about that and asked JD if he would do something like that. Jon asked JD about that since he spends a lot of time online. JD said he thinks about what he posts online. He said that sometimes you try not to think about it and just be casual but you do think about it.
Benjy said that he thinks about if someone is going to send an email to the show. JD said he worries about that. Gary said he's glad he didn't have to deal with that because he probably would have had a lot of that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Fred is great on the show. He asked about this Yucko thing and how Howard jumped on his side this morning. He said he's glad that Gary can take it but Yucko is so not funny anymore. He said he thinks that Howard was giving him props for no reason and it was just to burn Gary. Gary asked how he was taking his side. The caller said Howard was going with Yucko's jokes and goofing on Gary. He said he thinks that Howard takes the side of the wackos so he can seem normal. Gary said he thinks that Howard was trying to help Yucko along so the fight would be interesting. He said that Howard may have been trying to pump him up a little bit. He didn't think that Yucko was doing that well without Howard helping him out.
The guys asked Gary about his spindle necklace and Gary said that he saw someone else wearing one that he liked. He said it was only like a $15 item. He said it's not something that was encrusted with diamonds or anything like that. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 12:15pm.