|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
The sepcial started off with an announcer talking about the special and what kind of things went on back at WNBC when Howard was there.
They played a clip from Howard's show where he was talking about the weird things going on there at WNBC. He said he could be gone from the air by the next week. Howard talked about how he gets raked over the coals there by management. Howard was talking about how he has to clear everything he does with the legal department there. He was telling all of this to the news guy who said he was busy in the news room while Howard was getting raked over the coals. Howard said he's going to have to find a job. He was looking through the newspaper trying to find a job.
Howard said he found a job where they said they had a good working environment and that it was fun. He made a call to the number in the paper. The guy picked up and it was supposed to be Mr. Kaufmann who was the guy that Howard reported to there. Howard said he must have been trying to fill his job there. Howard said there is no one funnier than him and he can't fill that job. The guy told Howard that they can make him a bigger star than he is and they can help him get there. Howard talked to ''Mr. Kaufman'' for a couple of minutes about that.
Howard went to God for the weather. God was asking how you spell charisma. He said he was rewriting the bible and he was going to call it ''Joanie Loves Chachi'' so he could get the kids to read it. He continued on to give the rest of the weather forecast.
Howard went into a song after that. They cut that out and then played a clip of Howard talking to his traffic reporter about the problems he's been having with management. Howard said people think he's doing a bit but he's not joking.
Howard and Fred talked about the meeting they had and Fred wasn't saying anything during the meeting. Howard said Fred agreed with him but he didn't say anything until they were in the car on the way home. Howard said Fred could never be a lawyer. They broke into the ''Hill Street Blues'' theme song and Howard sang about how boring the show is to the theme song. Fred told him that he probably missed the post on that song. Howard just kept singing.
Howard talked to his news guy about the TV show he was just singing about. He said he loves The Love Boat and not shows like Hill Street Blues. The news guy told him that some of the acting is great in that show.
Howard made a phone call to the record company that put out his album. Howard said the guy was going to say they only sold 5,000 copies even though they know they sold 7,000. The guy said they had sold about 6,000. Howard said it's 7,000. Howard said they're going to have to let the guy have it. He said he knows that they sold 7,000 because his two lawyers did an audit. Howard said he's supposed to be getting royalties for that album. He talked to the guy about that for a few minutes. That led into them playing a song from his ''50 Ways To Rank Your Mother'' album called ''I Shot Ron Reagan.''
Howard said that guy on the phone wasn't the president of the record company. He said it was their lawyer. Howard said the owner always puts him on hold.
Howard said Neil was there with the news. He had him go through some stories like the Johnny Carson contract negotiations. Howard said that Carson is bummed that he only gets 15 weeks of vacation. Howard said what you do is fake sickness if you're not happy about that. Howard said he'll be out a day or two a month to get some extra days off. Howard said that's what he does. He said that Kevin Metheney will call him and he'll fake an illness on the phone. He said that he tells Kevin that he just needs another day to rest. Meanwhile he was out partying.
Howard said they're going to record a song live on the show. He had Fred playing guitar with Bobby the Engineer helping them out. Howard had Neil the news guy helping them out with the song too. They then sang ''Get Fat'' to the tune of ''Get Back'' by the Beatles.
Howard was talking about how no one takes any chances in radio these days. Howard said that NBC did give them a chance to do something though. Howard said at least they put them on the air. He said that no one else took a chance like they did. Howard said most stations fill up the airwaves with drivel, boring, non-offensive morons.
Howard said he was told to answer the phones at his own risk. He said he has to be careful not to go over the line with what he does there. He said he could get fired. He took a call from a woman who said she loves the show. Another caller said she thinks Howard is the funniest thing on the radio. Howard spent a minute talking to her and told her that his album will probably be released up there in a couple of weeks. He said they're going to make a killing on that deal. Howard said he could also be fired soon since most stations can't handle him.
Howard had Imus on the phone and he was claiming that he just called her a ''Negro'' and nothing else. Robin was making fun of him for not having all of his teeth. Howard ended up hanging up on him a few seconds into the call.
Howard said the station was going to hell in a hand basket. He said that everyone is at each other's throats. Howard said that was a pretty wild phone call. Howard said everyone is at war there. Howard said that Captain Frank is on the bad list and he won't even say the word ''bosom'' in the Beaver bits they do. Howard said he feels like the only sane one who works there.
Howard got his traffic reporter on the line and told her about what's going on there. Howard said he's fighting with Johnny Dark there and Robin is fighting with Imus. Howard said that was really Imus on the phone too, it wasn't like it was a bit. Howard said the guy is wacky. Howard and the traffic reporter spent a few minutes talking about Imus.
Howard went off on Hayes and said that he knows that if they left then he'd look good for chasing them out. Howard said they're probably going to have to look for other jobs. Robin said that's the story of their lives. Robin said they got kicked out of the last station. Howard said they treated him like he was some kind of filth bag. Howard said this guy John Hayes doesn't understand that they're trying to do something there. He said he didn't want to talk to the guy anymore. He said his agent was going to handle all of that.
Howard said he's not sure what's going to happen there. He said if they can get a huge rating then maybe they can get the guy fired. He said there are too many people running that station who don't know what they're doing. Howard said he's on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Robin said Howard is going to a chiropractor for his neck now. Howard said that costs him $35 every time he has to go.
Howard said he took LSD back in the 60s and he's feeling like he might have to take it again. He said that would destroy him so he has to avoid it. He needs the audience's help to get through this. He asked for them to give him the audience share he needs so he can fire this guy. They went to break a short time later.
Howard and Robin ended up singing some of Carley's ''Anticipation'' song. Howard asked Carley about doing TV shows and what kind of money she would be looking for to do something like that. Howard said he had a guy offering like $2,000 a show but Carley said it should be more like $125,000.
Howard talked to Carley about Warren Beatty since he was in a news story. Howard asked Carley if she could have sex and talk on the phone at the same time. Carley said she's not sure about that. She said that he is one of the smartest men she knows. She said he was also a very clean man.
Howard told the caller he was going to get a copy of Carley's new album. The caller didn't sound very excited about that. Carley figured he was just playing it down. Howard said they were going to send him a tune of Preparation H. Howard spent a few minutes talking to that guy about what he does for a living and things like that. He found out he was a cop in New Jersey.
Howard said they were going to do a jam session with Carley. He had to do traffic first though. He got the traffic reporter on the phone and she was a big fan of Carley's so she was talking about that. Howard said that Carley was looking good and he wanted her to jump on his back and spank him. He said she looked really cute. Howard said he didn't think she had a bra on either.
Howard wanted to have Carley perform her song ''Anticipation'' but the guitar they had was out of tune. She did the song anyway. Carley then sang her song and told the guitar player which key to be in. Howard said he was going to play ''Big Man'' off her new album too as they went to break.
After that Howard came back and talked to Carley some more about her new album and the tour she was going to be going out on. Howard said Carley was going to be heading out but she needs a cab. She said she'd like a cab to be there when she gets out there. Howard let her go after that.
In another Mystery Guest clip from 09/28/1982, Howard gave out some clues and then took a call. The first caller guessed that it was Gladys Knight. They spent a couple of minutes talking to her. Then they performed a song parody with her. It was the ''Get Fat'' parody that they had played earlier in the morning.
The next Mystery Guest segment was from 10/18/1982. In this clip Howard went to the phones and had callers trying to guess who the guest was. A bunch of people called in asking questions trying to figure out who it was. One guy guessed it was Billy Joel and got it right. Howard asked Billy to do a song but he said he can't do it without his band. Billy was being difficult and not wanting to play along.
After an edited out break Howard asked Billy if he was a fan of the show. Billy said he was a fan. Howard said he was going to do a song and if Billy wanted to sing along he could. Howard then went into a song parody about Liberace. Fred was playing guitar but Howard got upset with him playing the way he was. Fred blamed Howard for not having rhythm. They played Billy's song ''Pressure'' after that.
Howard went to his traffic woman, Roz, and talked to her about what happened with Billy Joel. Howard said he was very nice but he thought he was upset with him during the interview.
Howard talked about how good looking the girl was that was with Billy. Howard said there were three babes there and he had the hots for them. Howard said that's the kind of girls you get when you're a rock star. Howard said he should have paid attention when he had piano lessons.
Howard had some cigarettes that Billy had smoked in the studio so he was asking the audience if they wanted to buy them. He was trying to auction them off. Not too many people were interested. Howard had some people interested. One person said they'd pay $10 each. Howard said he thought they'd get a lot more money out of them.
In the next Mystery Guest segment, from 09/19/1984, we heard Robin and Howard taking phone calls from fans trying to guess who was in there. Howard took a bunch of calls but no one was guessing it was Phoebe Snow who was in the studio. Howard introduced her and gave away some tickets to a caller who didn't even take a guess.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Phoebe about what she's up to. Howard told her what a great voice she has and how much he enjoys her stuff. Howard asked Phoebe to perform a song for them too. Howard said he wanted her to do a song but she wasn't sure that she could do it with him. Howard said that they could just play a track off her album. Phoebe said that would be fine too. Howard said Fred can play guitar so maybe he should come in and play. Howard played a little bit of ''Roundabout'' by Yes for Phoebe. Then he had Fred come in and play for Phoebe so she could sing. They had some fun with that and Howard had his own lyrics to the music Fred was playing. They went to break a short time later.
In the clip Howard was complaining about the work Lee did and how he had to ask him to do it too many times. Howard said he was going to fire him. He said his club soda should be there waiting for him when he gets there. He told Boy Lee to get in there.
Lee came in and Howard told him what he wants every day. He wanted a club soda with lemon. Howard asked who they had coming in today. Lee said they didn't have anybody. He said he tries to get someone every day. Howard didn't believe him. He said he knows he's tried to get some people in there who he doesn't care about.
Lee told Howard that Kathleen Turner turned them down for an interview. Howard said he didn't even know who that was. Lee said he tried to get Michael Douglas on the show. He passed. So did Danny DeVito. Howard asked if he's a dwarf or a midget. He was trying to figure that out. Lee said Billy Crystal also turned them down. He said Billy said he just wanted to pass on Howard's show. Jim Belushi was too busy.
Howard took a call from a guy who claimed he was a dwarf. Howard asked what that means. The guy had no idea so Howard hung up on him. Another caller claimed he was a dwarf too. He said he was only 3 or 4 inches. Howard said he wasn't asking about the size of his sexual glans. A woman called in and asked why he's so obsessed with being Jewish. Howard said he's not happy about it. Howard said he may convert. He said he might become Catholic or Protestant. The caller told him to become Presbyterian. Howard said he could do that.
Howard took a call from a guy who claimed he was a queer dwarf. Howard hung up on him too. Another caller said he's only 5'2'' tall. Howard said he wasn't sure if he was a dwarf or not. Howard asked some questions about his body parts being in proportion. The guy said he is in proportion. He gave some measurements trying to prove it. Howard asked the guy a few questions about how hard his life is and if he can get girls and stuff like that. Howard jerked the caller around for a few minutes before hanging up on him. He said there was no way he was a dwarf.
Howard got back to Boy Lee and asked about who else he tried to get on the show. Lee ran through a bunch more names of people who turned him down. They had a bunch like Lou Ferrigno, Flip Wilson and Jerry Lewis. Howard asked Lee how he speaks to these people. He went through that with him and said he may have to fire Lee after hearing the way he deals with people.
Howard called Lee in the office and asked him what he does with the money he pockets. Lee claimed that he never does that. Lee then asked if that change he had in his pocket was his. Howard asked Lee if he tried to get anyone else for the show. Lee said he tried to get Candace Bergen on the show. Howard said he's not surprised she turned them down. Lee tried to get David Hasselhoff on the show and even he turned them down. His agent isn't a fan of the show. She finds it to be rude and obnoxious. Howard ended up hanging up on Lee because he couldn't believe this guy was producing his show.
Howard asked Lee who he has tried to get. Lee said he tried to get some people and wasn't able to get Liberace. He said he had Bob Eubanks though. Howard said he lost him. Howard told Lee to go out and get him a club soda with a piece of lime. Howard asked him what he usually eats during the show. Lee knew his menu because Howard had pounded it into him.
Howard told Lee to get some guests for the show. Lee said they have a guest for the following week. Howard told Lee to tell him the guest he has coming in the week after but he had to tell him off the air. Howard said he can't believe they booked that person. He said he doesn't know what he's doing.
Howard wondered what people do with autographs. Lee wasn't sure. Howard goofed on him for not having much energy. Howard asked Lee about any guests he had booked for the show.
Howard took a call from a guy got Howard talking in his black voice. Howard was asking Robin what terms he should be using. Robin threw a bunch out there for him. Howard did that for a couple of minutes before going to break.
That led into a bit where Howard went into his Mama character and thought that he didn't sound like himself that day. He went on to talk to Robin for a short time and said he was going to do the traffic for them. He said that he was thinking of forming his own separate country for black people. They'd be moving to Nebraska and forming their own black state. He said that black men could walk around just being themselves there. He said that they can't make it in a white society so they need their own state. They'd all have jobs there because it would be their state. He said that it would be called ''Ne-black-ska'' and the capital would be Lincoln Hayes instead of Lincoln.
Mama talked about how they'd get rid of Band-Aids and use black electrical tape instead. He said that the flesh color on the Band-Aids isn't the right color. He also said that the wouldn't have a Supreme Court, they'd have The Supreme's court. Mama said that only pure black people would be allowed there, no white blood at all. Sue Simmons wouldn't be allowed there. He said that only the really dark colored blacks would be allowed in. He said that they might have to let in some of the hot white chicks though. He threw out some names of some hot white chicks that he'd let into Neblackska.
Robin asked if they would have police there. Mama said that they would have to of course. He said that they would also allow drug use but no heroin, maybe some coke. He said that they would bring some white stuff into the state but not all of it. They'd give up the bad white things, like white people. They'd have to buy TVs and things like that since they don't make that stuff themselves. He said they'd have to export stuff to the white people. They'd make fold up umbrellas and maybe batteries and things like they sell out on 5th Avenue. Mama said that everyone in the state would have their own special names and things like that. He went into the traffic after that so he could wrap that up. He had some Donna Summer disco music playing under him as he did the traffic report.
Howard was complaining about Pig Virus, Kevin Metheney, because he was being interviewed and he kept trying to cover his face with his hands the whole time. Howard said the guy is very strange.
Howard went off on Don Fiorvonte and Don Imus too. He said that they don't get what he does. Howard said Imus sounds like him these days. He said that he isn't going to be an Imus clone. He said Don thinks that he should listen to what Imus does and do his bits the same way. Howard said he's not going to do that.
Howard said they used to walk into the station and people would ask if they heard what Don did on his show. Howard said he probably could have ended up working over at VH-1 if he had kissed more ass there. Howard said that the guys over there don't even know what to do on TV. Howard said the morning shows listen to what he does and steal his stuff.
Howard said people rip off his stuff all the time. They don't even change the name of the bits. Howard named one guy up in Hartford who did that with one of his bits.
Howard went to Mama Lookaboobooday for the traffic report. Mama was talking about how he was going to sue the radio station over something Howard said about him. He said that he was on drugs and that's just not true. Howard said he only said that because Mama said that. Howard argued with himself over that. Mama was also telling Robin about what he likes to eat.
That all led into a clip from WNBC where Howard was talking about how he didn't know what to do that day since they were working on a holiday. Howard said he might play some instruments and just do that instead of doing a show. He ended up banging on the drums for a few seconds. Robin told Howard that Pig Virus was working that day. Howard said that's because he has no friends or anyone who likes him. He said he doesn't have a girlfriend. Howard said the only way he gets girls is to hire them there. He said the guy hires girls to type for him and then scores with them.
Robin said she did hear his typewriter going today. Howard said he was typing up a memo for the day. Howard read the memo and they weren't supposed to be playing this one jingle. Howard figured that since he wasn't happy with that jingle that he'd play it. He was reading this memo that wasn't making much sense to him because Pig Virus was using all kinds of weird phrases like ''Sell the N.'' Howard said he didn't get that. Robin said it must be the N in ''W Nnnnn B C.''
Howard decided to try and ''sell the N'' so he took some calls and asked what the callers were willing to pay for their N.
Howard also tried calling Pig Virus' phone to get him on the air to ask what the memo was all about. He had the wrong number though. He said that Pig Virus may have left the wrong number for them. Robin thought he had it wrong. Pig Virus ended up getting on the phone and said that he may have reversed the numbers accidentally. Pig Virus said that he did want that one jingle taken out and not played again. Howard asked if he had call waiting going because his phone was making noise. Pig Virus said he did and he had to go. Howard said he's a jerk. He said he thought they were in trouble when he called in.
One woman called in and complained about one of the songs that he played. She thought that Barry Manilow was better than Barbra Streissand. Howard said he doesn't pick the music and she should write to Pig Virus if she's unhappy. He ended up talking to her for a minute about the music complaint. The engineer said that Pig Virus was on the hotline to talk to her. Robin asked if they could combine the calls to let them speak. Howard put them on together and let them talk. Pig Virus was trying to be funny so Howard and Robin just spoke over him. Pig Virus explained it to the woman and she seemed okay with his explanation. Pig Virus also told him that the bit was going nowhere.
Howard had Pig Virus in the studio and talked to him for a minute. Howard said he had no idea what he was talking about.
One guy said that Howard belonged out on the street with the rest of the garbage. The guy said he was the most unfunny and obnoxious person. He said the only reason he listens is for the traffic reports. The guy said he would love to get a hold of Randy's phone number so he can call him. The guy asked how Howard has survived 30 years. Howard asked what he does for a living. The guy said he works for the telephone company. That guy ended up hanging up on him.
Howard ended up breaking the news about Pig Virus leaving WNBC on March 2nd. He said that was the great news that he was saving up. He said he's moving on to work for MTV. Howard laughed when he read that. Howard read some comments that some of the management had given about his leaving. Howard said he hopes he never comes back to that station. He said the sooner he's out of there, the better.
Howard said maybe the station will progress now. Howard said he's placing his name in the ring to become program director.
Howard came out of a Pointer Sisters record and talked about the dream he had about them. Howard said he had a fantasy about having the two black girls. He went into detail about that before Imus showed up. Howard spent a few minutes talking to Imus about Pig Virus leaving.
Pig Virus called into Howard's show to talk about leaving. Howard said he's really sorry to see him leave. Howard said he figured that Randy was going to hire one of his buddies to work there instead. He said the guy won't know how to run a station. Howard ended up hanging up on him and said he doesn't have to listen to that idiot anymore. Imus told him not to talk to his friend like that. Howard said he's not his boss anymore so he doesn't have to listen to him.
Howard and Imus spent a few minutes talking about some things that go on there at WNBC. Imus had to get going after that. Howard said that Imus is a master and they all look up to him.
Today's The Peacock Years was over around 10:55am.
In the clip we heard an intro for Janie and then Howard handing the show over to her. Howard said that he, Neil and Fred were the three whitest white guys she knows. Howard said black people have a language of their own and they were going to learn some of it from Janie. Howard said some of the lines he knew. He said he was writing them down. Janie taught him some more like ''wheels'' meaning a car. Howard used the terms in a sentence but Janie didn't think it sounded like them at all.
Howard had Neil trying to do it too but Howard said he sounded kind of helpless. Howard had Janie teach them some more like ''one hip dude'' and ''that's mines'' and things like that. Howard told Janie to come in on Friday and they'd actually talk to some black people. They went into a song after that. Howard had Neil trying to talk jive as they went into the song.
Howard wanted Janie to help because he thinks that she could get him in the newspapers. Janie didn't have much to add. Neil told him that he thinks the bit has gone about as far as it could. He read the closing lines to the bit and they went into a song.
Howard said Janie was kissing Bubba too. Janie said she told him how great he was and gave him a kiss. Howard said she must have been doing something to be able to run up there. Janie said she's not sure what came over her. Neil did the wrap up for the segment and they went into a song.
Howard called Janie's aunt since she had hung up on them. Howard got the aunt on the phone and let her ask him some questions. She asked about the ''Pace over (Passover)'' and where Howard hid the Matzo. Howard said he hid it in the living room. Aunt Mary also asked about the Matzo Balls and things like that. Howard let her go a minute later. Howard said he's not sure what's wrong with her whole family. They wrapped up and went into a song.
Robin had Janie go first. Robin gave her a word to spell. She had to spell Botryoidal. Janie didn't know how to spell that. Howard had to spell Foie Gras but he wasn't able to spell it. Robin gave Janie ''Obfuscate'' but she wasn't able to spell that one either. Robin gave Howard the same word but she was saying it wrong. Howard tried to spell it but he got it wrong. Robin wanted to give Janie another one but Howard said they were out of time. He went into a song.
Howard asked Janie about how many white men she's had an how many black men. She said that she's been having sex for 39 years with black men. Howard said she had her first child when she was like 12. Janie said she was actually 15. Howard said there's not too many stereotypes flying around there. Howard asked when she had her second baby. She said she was 18. Howard asked how many she had. Janie said she had 6. Howard said the stereotypes are really flying now. Howard asked if she was on Welfare at all. Janie said she was not on Welfare. Howard said that broke the stereotype. Then Janie said she was on Welfare when she moved to New York. Howard laughed.
Howard got back to Janie's sex life and asked her who is better, white or black. She said Howard is better. Howard joked that it was just one time. He said his wife would be upset if she learned about their liaison. Howard asked who is bigger, white men or black men. She said ''Howard'' again. Howard said he doesn't think she'd want to see him nude.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to Janie asking about her sex life. They were going to wrap up but Howard ended up talking about how he makes a ton of money for the company but he's barely breaking $200,000 a year working there. Howard complained about that and complained about the union he's in. Howard said all of the fat cats are making the money there. Howard wondered what kind of money Randy is earning there. He said whatever he's making is too much.
Howard said Janie must not be making that much but she's replaceable. Howard said he's not. Janie asked if he's god. Robin said he is a god of radio.
Howard mentioned John Hayes and Janie told him about how this new guy has a picture of him hanging in his bathroom. Howard said he thought they wanted the picture for their office but it's in his bathroom where he washes his hands. Howard asked Janie about which one it was. She said that it was a picture he gave to Randy. Howard asked Neil if he heard about this. He told him the story and Neil laughed. Howard said that guy is a douche bag. Howard said he gave that picture to Randy but he didn't take it with him. Howard said maybe it helps him move his bowels. Howard said he's never been so insulted in his life.
Howard talked about how he was going to be wearing leather pants to work tomorrow because he was doing Letterman. He said he hopes Letterman doesn't think he's going Hollywood or anything. He said he doesn't want to look like a douche bag anymore. He wants to look kind of cool. Howard said he's going to get an earring too. Howard said his mother thinks it's sick but his wife is fine with it. Howard said Fred is going to get one too.
Robin asked what kind of earring Fred wants. Fred said he wants something simple. He said he wanted a diamond but someone told him it was kind of poofy to get one. Howard said it is. Howard said he knows he has to leave the earring in for like a month so he has to pick one that he can leave in there that long. Robin said he could get a hoop but it would be small. Howard said his daughter is going to be really embarrassed when she grows up.
Howard called John Hayes to ask about the picture he hung in his bathroom. John said he did that so he can see the picture from his desk. Howard said that's insulting to him. John said he's told Howard he's a legend in radio and that he's a super star. He said he's not trying to insult him. Howard said he has nothing to say to John. He said he's not getting off to a good start by hanging his picture in his bathroom. John said he's been trying to get together with Howard's agent. He told Howard it has to be a two way street and they have to work together. Howard said he's working with him. John said he just wanted the picture in his bathroom so he can see it. Howard said he'd like to see it over the wall over his TV set. He said it's kind of insulting to have it in the bathroom. He said it's a minor point but that's the way he feels. Then he said it's a major point. Robin said that it's a major point to her too.
Howard said that he would hang a picture of John in his office if he had one. Howard said that John is a nice guy and all but he's hanging his picture in his bathroom. John told Howard that he's a legend in radio and that's the way he feels. Howard said this guy has something up his sleeve. He said he can't be that nice. John said he didn't mean any disrespect with the picture. Howard said he can't believe he has this guy wrapped around his finger already. Robin said that they're going to have a field day with him.
Howard took some phone calls asking the callers about what they think of Janie's thoughts. Some people didn't agree with her. Howard said it seems like no one even listens to Janie. Janie was talking about a gift that they had gotten her where she described it as a ''Lavendie neg-a-jay'' which was supposed to be a Lavender Negligee. Howard goofed around with that for a couple of minutes having her repeat the words a few times.
Robin read through some news about Bernhard Goetz and Howard told Gary to try and book him for the show before Donahue books him. They spent a minute on that before wrapping up.
They played the segment where Howard talked about going out to get the earrings and how Lee was really having a problem with it. Howard said Fred got one too. Howard said he decided to get one last week and Fred wanted to get one too. Howard said that was a surprise to him.
Howard said Lee is walking around in shock after the whole thing. He said that they were all in the bathroom cleaning their earrings together. He said you have to keep it clean so they were all doing that together. Howard said Lee will probably end up taking his out when his mom finds out about it. Howard said he thinks it works on Lee though.
Howard said he walked by some of the secretaries and some of them think it's really faggy looking. Howard said they're going to call their mothers to find out what they think. Howard said his mom is going to die.
Howard called his mom, Ray, to find out what she thinks. He got her on the line and told her what he did. Ray said ''You what?'' and said that she didn't believe him. Howard said he did it. Ray said that he is not to show it to her. She said she thinks something is happening to Howard. Howard said he thinks it looks good. Robin said it looks cute. Ray hung up on him. Howard said he guesses he's going to be taking his out. He's 31 years old and his mom still yells at him.
Howard said he can't wait to call Lee's mom. Howard said Lee's face said it all. Howard said his mother was mad when his sister got earrings too. Howard asked Lee if he wanted to call his mom now. Lee told Howard he had better make the call. He can't do it himself. Howard called Lee's mom and broke the news to her. Howard told her that her son went out and got his ear pierced. She said his father is going to kill him. She was laughing though. She said that he's going to have a hole in his head too. She said he's going to have to pack his bags and get out. Lee's mother asked them not to call his dad at work because he'd be very upset. Howard told her that they all look very cool. Lee's mom said she didn't think he'd really go out and do this. Robin said they all did it and they even bought him the earring.
Howard let Lee's mom go and said she was pretty cool about it. Lee said she's cool with it but his father won't be. Howard said he has to go see his mother in the morning but he'll have to cancel that.
Howard got a message about his sister calling the station. Howard said he's not sure who is going to keep their earring in longer, him or Lee. Howard said they both may end up getting rid of them. Howard said Lee still lives at home though. Howard said he's 31 and has his own kid so his mom shouldn't be yelling at him about that stuff. Howard said he thinks he still looks masculine. Howard said he's as masculine as he can be with an earring in his head.
Howard said he wants to call Lee's dad. He made the call and got through to him. Howard told Lee's dad he had to talk to him. He told Mr. Davis that he and Fred were going to do something. They ran into Lee and he wanted to go too. Howard told Mr. Davis that Lee was forced into it but he likes it. He said he's afraid of what his father is going to think. Howard told him that they went and got earrings. Mr. Davis said ''no way.'' Howard said that Lee is wearing it on the left side so that means he's not gay. Mr. Davis said ''Whew!'' He also told him that Lee has to remove it. He said it goes against his grain. He said he'd pull it out of his ear himself if he has to. Howard told Mr. Davis that he looks hip with that thing in there. Mr. Davis said there's no way he looks good with an earring.
Howard told Mr. Davis to give it a few days at least. Mr. Davis said there was no way he would even give it a chance. Howard said he has to give it a little bit of a chance. Mr. Davis kept saying ''No way'' over and over.
Howard told Mr. Davis to let him keep it for one day. Mr. Davis said he would look at it for one day. Howard said he likes that he was willing to talk about it. Mr. Davis said his mind was already made up and he isn't going to let him keep it. Howard let Mr. Davis go and said he thinks he's going to go slit his wrists. Lee said he has a feeling he won't have the earring in tomorrow. Howard said he has to keep it for at least one day.
Howard ended up talking about how he didn't brace his mother right for that whole thing. Howard said he should have told his mom a different way. Howard replayed the tape of his call to his mother to hear her reaction again.
Howard said he thinks Fred's mother is going to freak. He said they have to call her next. Howard said Lee may not even end up going home. Gary came in and told Howard what his mother's reaction was when he got his ear pierced. He said his mother yelled at his father to look what he did to himself. Howard asked Gary if he's circumcised. Gary said he is. Howard said some Italian guys aren't. He said that some people even pierce their penis. Howard said he didn't like that they had to sit in the middle of the jewelry store getting the piercing's done. He said it was over pretty quick though.
Howard said he digs the earring. Robin said it's like they did something really outrageous. Howard said he wants to get a big Mr. T feather next. He spent a few minutes talking about other things he could hang from his ear. Howard said he's not like the guys in Wham with earrings in both ears.
Robin asked Howard how the earring feels with the headphones on. Howard said it hurts now that she's mentioned it. Howard said he might have to take it out now.
Howard called Fred's mom to break the news to her. Fred said she should be okay with it. Howard said everyone has been a surprise so far. Howard got Mrs. Norris on the phone to break the news to her. She had been listening to the show so she knew already. She said she never thought he would do it. Howard said he did. Mrs. Norris said that she didn't believe it. Howard said he really did it. Howard said Fred looks good with it though. Howard said Fred looks good in earrings.
Howard said Mrs. Norris is taking it the best. Fred asked if she was in the kitchen because there are knives in there. Howard told Mrs. Norris how upset his mother was. Howard said Mrs. Norris is being very nice about this. Howard said everyone thought that she was going to be really upset. Howard said they all bought the same earrings. Howard said they're very small diamond studs. Mrs. Norris still didn't seem to believe what he was telling her. Howard said they really did it though.
Howard said Fred was very good about it and he didn't break down. He sat there like a man. Robin asked if Fred's dad knew about it. She said he doesn't know yet. Howard said he's probably in the back yard making a noose for himself.
Howard said he's going to offer Lee a place to sleep if he gets kicked out of his house. Howard said that he'll leave that offer open for a few days but that's it. Howard said he may end up removing his if his mother doesn't like it. Howard told Lee not to worry, he's going to keep his. He's just kidding about removing it.
They played another clip where Howard was talking about how he told Imus about the earring thing and he was asking if he really got it pierced. Howard said that he didn't just get a clip on like some people would. Howard said he doesn't get what the big deal is about a man getting an earring. Howard talked about how bad some of their mothers were taking the news. He talked about his mom and Boy Lee's mom and how bad they took it. Howard said Lee looks great though.
Howard went to Mama Lookaboobooday for the traffic report. Mama ended up singing some Led Zeppelin songs to Robin while doing the report. Mama went over some other stuff before getting to the traffic.
After that Howard got back to the earring discussion. Howard said that no one's earring is sticking out that much. Lee was feeling nervous. He said he was heading home in about a half hour and his dad would be home not too long after him. Howard said he kind of forced Lee into it but not really 'forced.'' He wanted to do it. Howard ended up replaying the call he made to Lee's father. Howard said he figured that Lee's father would dig it if they call him every day for a few days. He said that might keep him from demanding that Lee get rid of it.
Howard said his mother has to understand that he has to do some things out on his own. He said he's 31 now and he has to be allowed to live his own life. They went to break after that.
They played a Mystery Guest segment from Howard's show where he and Robin gave clues to the audience and then had them guess who it could be. Richard thought it was too much of a clue that Robin was about to give. Richard was disguising his voice and trying not to give it away.
Howard took a couple of phone calls and the second guy knew who it was. Richard wondered what the guy was going to win. The caller said he recognized his voice. Howard said that he gets a Menudo poster. Richard asked what kind of poster he would really like. The guy said he would like a Howard Stern poster. Howard said he can't even get any of those for himself. Richard said he'd send him one of his books or a video.
Richard said there's a group of people down on the street who want to see Howard up there. He said he saw a man down there who saw him coming in there and that was the guy who called in.
Howard asked Richard what he did before his show. Richard said this is the first show he did. Howard asked who interviewed him on Live at 5. Richard said he wasn't on that show. Howard said he knows he was on. Richard said Sue Simmons did the interview. He said he should have her on the show.
Howard asked Richard about his exercise video and found out about the people he's helped lose weight. Richard said they have teenagers on the tape too. Howard said he loves to watch teenagers working out. Richard wondered why he was doing this show. They went into a song after that.
Howard came back and had an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator talking to Richard. They spent a minute talking and Howard said Arnold has one major beef with Richard. Arnold said he doesn't ever see anyone working out with weights in his videos. Richard had a reason for that. He said that no one had weights back in the days of Conan and characters like that.
Howard called his mom and had Richard talk to her. Richard said that Howard is a wonderful boy and she has raised a fine young boy. Ray asked Richard to have him on his show and teach him some exercises. She thinks that Howard isn't in good shape. Howard said he knows he's not. Richard and Ray spent a short time talking about Howard's sister and things like that. They went to a song after that.
Howard came back and asked if Richard was gone. He said the guy is really hyper. He said all of that exercise makes you hyper. Robin said he was saying that it was bee pollen that does that. Howard said the guy was taking over the show and he had to let him go.
Howard said their guest is a big star. Howard said they dragged him in off the street. Robin said he's a star of stage, screen and TV. He's also a radio guy and a record guy. Howard took some calls and let the listeners ask questions. It took a while but someone finally guessed it was Robert Goulet.
Howard spent some time talking to Robert Goulet. Howard wanted him to sing a song for them. Goulet said he would do that no problem.
Howard came back from a break and talked to Roz Frank for a minute. He went to break again and then came back with Robert Goulet. Howard had him perform the song parody that they had written for him. It was a parody of his song ''What Kind Of Fool Am I.'' Howard spent a minute talking to him after that before wrapping up.
Howard took some more phone calls and someone finally guessed it was Pee Wee Herman. Howard said he couldn't believe that no one was able to get it. Howard spent a few minutes talking to Pee Wee about the movies he's been in and what else he's up to. Pee Wee said he was in a few movies already and he has some other stuff coming up.
Howard asked if he wanted to play the Pee wee Herman contest. Pee Wee was ready. Howard said the caller had to guess which of the 5 Pee Wee's was the real one. He had the first one do his impression. Robin was one of the people doing an impression. Howard told her that no one is going to fall for that. Everyone else did their impressions as well as the real Pee Wee. The caller guessed that it was number 2. She was wrong. It was Al Rosenberg. Howard said the woman blew it and lost so she had to send them something of her's.
Howard went to break and came back with Pee Wee again. Pee Wee was doing some things with sound effects and stuff when they came back. They spoke to Roz Frank for a short time before wrapping up. They went to break after that.
They went into a clip of Howard talking about all of this. This is what I wrote in my 2007 History of Howard Stern write up:
Howard was starting his show and complaining about the crap that was in the studio. He said that he's all for Soupy being there but his people left a mess in the studio. He wanted to call Soupy's office so he could complain about the mess. They had left pineapple, chicken and more stuff in the studio. He ended up calling this guy Dale and asking him to put Boy Lee on the phone. Dale called Lee in there and told him that Howard had a problem. Howard asked him if he was done cleaning up in there. Lee said he wasn't done yet. Howard went off on him about the food, coffee cups and other crap that was in there. He said he was already 15 minutes into his show and it was still a mess. Lee gave him a bit of an attitude about having to come in and clean up that stuff. Howard said that it's not his problem, they clean up their mess after their show so everyone else should do the same.
Lee called Soupy to the phone. Howard told Soupy that they have to learn to clean up in there. Soupy said that he told Lee about that and he's absolutely right. He said that they called an emergency meeting and they had to go do that. Howard wondered what was so important that he couldn't clean up the studio. Soupy told him he was right because that's the way he'd expect the studio to be for him.
That led to Howard threatening to cut the strings to the keys on Soupy's piano for every set amount of time he didn't come in and clean it up. Gary said that they didn't know how dangerous it was to cut the strings in a piano because they're strung so tightly. He said that Howard did cut one of them and that's when Soupy really freaked out.
We heard another clip from Howard's show where he was talking about the cutting of the strings. He told Al to tell Lee that if he didn't come in and clean up, he was going to clip one of the strings on the piano. He said he was going to pop one of them with his hand if they didn't get in there and clean up. He was plucking at the strings and banging on the keys as he was talking about it. He told Soupy that he has to get his people in line and he won't have this problem.
Howard asked where Lee was and Fred said he didn't see him anywhere. He asked where Soupy was and said he'd better call before he actually breaks the piano. He called his office again and tried to get him on the air. He got someone by the name of Ray on the line and asked where Lee was. He explained to him that they had asked Lee to come in and clean up an hour ago and he still hadn't come in. Dale showed up to clean up but Howard told him to get out. He wanted Lee in there instead. He told Ray that they were going to cut the strings on the piano if they didn't get Lee in there. Ray said he'd do that and asked him for a minute to find him.
Howard spoke to Dale who said that it's his fault and he put Lee on another project. Howard didn't like that because he had asked Lee to come in there and clean up. Howard showed Dale where he was going to cut if they didn't get Lee in there. Dale asked what was causing the stench. No one was sure, they just knew that some salad dressing had been spilled. Dale wanted to clean up but no one knew what to clean up because only Lee knew where the spill was. Howard told Dale that he's not sure how they work with them there. They cause so much tension there. He suggested that they fire him.
A little later we heard Howard asking for some wire cutters so he could cut the wire on the piano. He said that if he has to work with the stench in the studio then Soupy has to work with a handicap, a broken piano. Fred had gotten Howard some wire cutters but Boy Lee was seen out in the hall. He didn't make his way into the studio though. It was 4:05 and time to cut the wires. Howard found the right wire to cut and asked Fred where he should cut. They looked for the wire and pounded on the keys for a few seconds an then Howard snipped the wire. He thought that he had clipped the wire but couldn't find the right key. Then he finally found it and said that the A note was dead. Howard claimed he cut three wires.
Howard spoke to Soupy on the phone for a few minutes after that. Soupy wasn't upset with the wire cutting at all. They went to break after that.
Jay and Howard talked about the tours they have there at the NBC studios. They were talking about the white trash people they seem to attract up there. Howard said they took the tour actually. Howard said they have people pretend to be Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon on a fake Tonight Show set. Howard said he did that and played Johnny.
Howard talked to Jay about how David Letterman was saying that he's like best friends with him. Jay said he's not sure Dave said that. Howard said it said that in Rolling Stone. Howard said Dave claims that Jay is one of his best friends. Jay said that must show the standards of Dave's social life. Jay said he just sees Dave on his show when he's on. He's not that close to him.
Howard said Dave used to call him on the phone like once a week. He felt like he was his brother or something. Howard talked to Jay about some other TV show stuff too. Jay was working on his stand-up act and said he'd like to do a TV show of his own but he usually just gets to play the wacky neighbor character on various shows.
Howard asked Jay if Dave mentioned him at all when he was on. Jay said he didn't. He said they could call him now maybe. Howard said that Dave is probably getting ready to tape though. Jay said they can call Robert Morton and talk to him.
Jay called for Robert Morton over at Letterman. Jay said he was calling from the Stern Show. Howard told him not to tell them that. They won't come on the air if he does. Jay got Morton on the phone and asked if it was okay to put him on. Morton was fine with it so Howard got him on the line.
Morton asked Howard when he's coming on the show again. Howard said he's not sure but maybe next week. Morton said the week after was booked. He said they had Eddie Murphy, Billy Crystal and others booked.
Howard spent a short time talking to Morton and asked if he could get Letterman to come on. Morton said they were doing a show. Howard said he could get him for a second. Morton said Dave was getting dressed to do the show. He didn't have time to do that.
Howard said Gary was talking to Dave in the men's room and saw his penis. Howard said Dave pulls his pants down around his knees to pee. Morton told Jay that Dave wanted to know how many jobs he had gotten from Howard's show. Jay jokingly said he had to get going then. Morton was about to get someone else on the phone so Howard just hung up.
Howard gave Jay some plugs for his comedy show that was coming up. Howard said Jay is the funniest stand-up comedian he's ever seen. He said he has tears running down his face from laughing so much and that's how he judges a comedian.
Robin read through some news stories and Jay sat in for that. Howard and Jay talked about some of the stories Robin was going through.
Howard spent a few more minutes with Jay doing the news. Howard gave him some more plugs and was going to wrap up but Jay wanted to hear a cover of a song that Wink Martindale did. They talked about some guests Howard has had on the show and some other shows there on NBC. Howard had a clip of someone doing an interview with Dizzy Gilespie that he wanted to play for Jay. That led into a bit they created using clips of Dizzy. Howard wrapped up with Jay a short time later.
Today's The Peacock Years was over around 11:15am.
They went into a clip of Howard talking to Robin about the hate mail they were getting there and how Randy used to hide it from him. He said the new guy shows him everything. Howard talked about the new General Manager and how he has to get out of AM radio and on to an FM station. He said he hates working in New York but he also loves it. He said he loves the people. Robin laughed and said that's his first lie. Howard said he hates the structure of the corporate thing they're caught up in.
Howard said he wants to get this record album thing going but he wanted to get a photo done and wanted Annie Liebowitz to do the photo but it's going to cost $5,000. He said she's good though so it's worth it. Howard said they don't want to do the photo with her. He said he has an awful photo that he uses now and he'd hate to use that and ruin the article about him.
Howard asked if the gays were out picketing him today. Gary told him that they weren't. He said he asked one of the guys what his name was yesterday and the guy said he couldn't tell him because he's a very prominent doctor. Howard wondered how much more humiliation he has to heap on them before they come down there.
Howard said the whole thing with John Hayes is weird. He said they're spending all of the money his show generates on other shows. Howard said he's going to be leaving after his 2 years are up there. Howard said the rest of the station sounds like 9 hours of Howard Stern before Howard Stern is on. He said he's fed up with the whole concept of the station and John Hayes in general. Howard said they have to get him moved out of that position.
Howard wanted to call Randy to try and get rid of John. He went on and on about that and then John showed up in the studio. Howard told him he hates him. He asked how bad he wants to be the Vice President of Network Programming. John said he doesn't want that job. Howard said he should just admit it. John wouldn't say that though. Howard spent a few minutes talking to John trying to convince him to leave his job there and find something else. Howard was trying to get him to go to ABC or somewhere else.
Howard talked about using John's bathroom and stinking it up. He said he couldn't help it because he couldn't find another bathroom. He ripped the keys out of Janie the cleaning lady's hand. John asked if he's trying to get her fired. Howard said he literally just ripped them out of her hand. It wasn't her fault.
Howard said he saw that his poster was on the wall in his bathroom. He also has a picture of him and Bette Midler reading a ratings book. He said he must have thought that was a great idea and Bette must have thought he was a jackass. John said she came in asking how the ratings were because she was going to be appearing on a show there. Howard said she's a jackass.
Howard tried calling Randy Baungarten to ask him if they can get rid of John. Howard got his secretary on the line but she said that Randy was down in Washington. He spent a minute on the phone with her asking what he was doing down there. He found out he's at a convention there. Howard got off the phone and got back to talking to John. Fred had some ''Exorcist'' music playing as they were going through that.
Howard said that John tried to convince him that they don't make any money off of him. He said they showed him how they make a certain amount and they spend it all on various things. Howard said they were trying to convince him that they actually lose money on him. Howard went through the stuff they were telling him they have to spend money on.
Howard said the last Mr. Nixon bit was great and disgusting. Howard said they got some letters from some people who want him fired. Howard said these people continue to listen even if they say they hate the show. Howard read one of those letters that was addressed to John Hayes. Howard went through the letter and the woman was upset about the gross images that they had in the last Mr. Nixon bit. She didn't like hearing about someone with shingles ripping them open and dripping them. Howard ripped up the letter and said that John will never see that letter. He also said he doesn't care if she doesn't like the bit because other people did.
Howard said they will play the bit and they will find out if the fans think it's funny. Howard said John told him that it wasn't funny. He said he doesn't go up to his office and tell him he's a bad General Manager. He said he will do whatever he damn well pleases on the station. Howard said the new program director can't tell him what to do there.
Howard tried calling the Program Director but he wasn't able to get him on the line. Gary told him that he was in a meeting with John Hayes. Howard asked for Hayes' office and made the call there instead. Howard said he can't imagine the nerve of someone telling him that his bit isn't funny.
Howard got John on the line and told him how upset he was about him saying his bit wasn't funny. Howard said John thought the last one wasn't funny but even his wife thought it was funny. John said he was worried about Howard and said that he seemed down and uninspired. Howard said John came in and asked if the show was going to be hot that day. Howard said he doesn't know what the show is going to be. He said he never knows what he's going to do. He said he's busy trying to make TV deals with his agent.
Howard told John to never tell him that he's not funny again. He said that makes him lose confidence. John said he was worried about the performance on the show. Howard told him to just go and sell advertising time.
Howard said that he'd like to talk to Dale Parsons the new Program Director. John put him on the line. Howard told Dale not to ever tell him what to do there. Dale said he hasn't told him what to do at all. Howard said he's going to play any song he wants and said he's going to play a Led Zeppelin song. Dale said he's just there to make him happy. Howard said that makes him happy. Dale said that if Howard is happy, he's happy. Howard said he's going to play Jethro Tull after Led Zeppelin. Dale didn't seem to have a problem with that. He said he was waiting for Howard to give him a list of things that they can do to improve the station there. Howard told him not to fire Beebe or Soupy. He said that won't help.
Howard asked Dale some questions about what they did in the last place he worked. Dale said he took ideas from everyone else. He talked about some of the things he did back there. Dale claimed that the ratings had gone up when he was there. Howard went into a Led Zeppelin song after that.
Howard saw that Imus was on the phone so he put him on. Imus had some information he wanted to share off the air so Howard put him on hold. They went to break after that.
Howard read some of the mail they got about Pig Virus and they were mostly complaints. Howard said that Kevin knows best so they shouldn't be complaining about these things. Howard was being sarcastic of course. He kept coming up with excuses for Kevin and why he was acting the way he was. He said the man is a saint and a programming genius.
Howard also talked about his old boss Don Fiorvanti. Howard said they have to stop picking on that man too. Howard was in his Mahatma Howie character at the time. He said he was going to make fun of a reporter from Newsday too and she's right, he's not funny, so he's not going to pick on her. Howard said he was going to rip on those people but he's not going to do it because everyone else is right.
Howard took a call from Fred who was doing a Morgan Fairchild impression saying that now she'd come on the show since he had changed like this. They spent a couple of minutes with that bit.
After an edited out break Howard went back to Roz and talked to her about some of the stuff they were going to be doing on the show. He goofed around with that for a few more minutes. They went to break after that.
They played a clip where Howard was starting the show and introducing Boy Gary who had just replaced Boy Lee. He said that he was doing a good job already and getting some projects done for him. He and Robin talked about Gary's look and how he was kind of ''swarthy'' looking. Howard asked him about his family and what his last name was. Gary said that his last name was and pronounced it ''Della-bait.''
That led to Howard talking about what Gary did and how fast he did it for him. Howard sent some tapes to his agent and he got them over there in about 10 minutes. Howard said he's not sure if he's just an eager beaver or what. Howard said he's going to put him on probation to keep him on his toes. He said Boy Lee would give him an attitude if he asked him to do something for him.
Howard was talking about Gary and the work he was doing there. He was handling all of the stuff he asked him to do no problem. He wondered if he was just trying to impress him or something. He wasn't sure. Howard said that he kind of looked like John Oates from Hall and Oates. Robin said that's exactly who she thought he looked like. Robin told Howard that she heard the odd things that they were saying about Howard during the NBC tour. She said the tour guide said that Howard had been thrown out of Washington DC and it didn't sound very complimentary to her.
Howard asked Gary if he had gotten something done for him and it wasn't done so he figured that Gary was screwing up already. That led to him asking Gary about going to Adelphi and how it wasn't the greatest school around. He found out that Gary got an 1190 on his SAT tests.
Howard talked to Gary about his Italian heritage and asked if he was circumcised. Gary said that he was because it had become a hygiene thing by the time he was born. Howard talked about how he thinks that's a bunch of bull and it's not like people can't shower and clean themselves down there. Howard said he wasn't sure if Fred was clipped or not. He thought that he had told them that he wasn't. Robin said she thought that's the way it was.
Howard told Gary he has to explain that they have more listeners than the TV shows he's doing have viewers. Gary said he didn't do that. Howard said he wishes that he could talk to the P.R. people himself. Howard said Steve Martin couldn't shine his shoes 2 weeks ago. He said they'll end up seeing who ends up on top. He told Gary he has to learn how to talk to these public relations people. Howard said they think they understand the media and they really don't.
Howard said they have more listeners than some TV shows have viewers. He said that Steve will do Live at 5 but not this show even though they have more listeners. Howard said John Stamos turned them down. He said that he went on Regis Philbin and they have like 1/4th the audience.
Howard told Gary what to do and practiced with him. Howard played the P.R. person and Gary played himself. Howard said Gary was wrong right off. He corrected him and tried to help him get it right. Howard told Gary he has to change his name first of all. He had him change it to Gary Davis. They tried it again and worked out what to say. Howard told Gary to threaten to call Steve's agent and that might scare her too.
Howard said Mrs. Dell'Abate is a good mother and she had him in BOCES when he was in school. Gary thought about being a photographer. Gary said he didn't want to be stuck photographing weddings and bar mitzvah's. Howard asked Mrs. Dell'Abate if she's disappointed in her son. She said she's not. She said she'd be happy with him doing whatever he wanted to do.
Howard said Gary's hair cut looked awful and asked his sister-in-law if she cut it. She said that she likes it kind of long. Howard said Gary looked like a fag with that hair cut he had. Howard talked to Mrs. Dell'Abate for a few minutes about some of the stuff they've done with his son there.
Howard asked Gary about what else his brother had and said that he'd like to have some black velvet stuff. Howard asked if he had anything like that. Gary said he only has art work there but he might have something Howard and Robin would like. Howard said he'd love a Velvet Jesus and the Pope thing they were talking about. He said that's what he should have in his office. They went to break after that.
Howard talked to Tiny about how they were looking forward to meeting him. Howard asked him to stick around during some music. Howard came back after a song and asked Tiny what was going on with him. Tiny said he had been traveling. He told Howard where he was going to be at. Howard asked him about his marriage and what happened to that. Tiny didn't have a lot to say. Howard asked him to do a song for them. Tiny was fine with that. He song one of his songs.
Howard talked to David about his new album and about his singing. They also talked about the TV show ''Kung Fu'' that David was in. Howard said that he should be getting some good residuals from that. David said he actually sold the rights to them to finance his movie. Howard said he must be out of his mind. Howard asked about the movie that took 11 years to make. David said he did some other work in that time too.
Howard ended up calling David's kid. He told the kid he likes his dad. The kid didn't have all that much to say. Howard asked if he's a good dad. The kid said he is. They spent a short time talking to him before moving on.
Howard talked to David about his film he had coming out and said he hopes it has nudity. David said it's a PG movie. Howard said he has to get some nudity in there. Howard spent a minute talking to him about the movie before he had to play some music.
Howard took some calls for Amos and let them ask him some questions. He had Fred asking questions as a woman. They were goofing around with Amos. Howard took some more calls and they were mostly phony callers. Howard had the Pillsbury Dough Boy call in threatening Amos and things like that.
Howard gave Ron some plugs for this movie he had coming out called ''Splash.'' They talked about how hot Darryl Hannah was. Howard gave him some plugs and said he thinks it's going to be a big hit for him. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to Ron about the movie before they had to go into a song.
Howard and Hasselhoff talked about the kind of money they have to pay their agents. David also has a manager and a publicist so he's paying out even more money than Howard is. He even had a hair dresser there with him so he introduced him to Howard.
After that we heard Gary talking about the tours that they had at WNBC and how if they saw someone interesting on the tour he'd go out and get them to bring them on the show. They even set up a microphone out in the hall and they'd talk to the people on the tour once in a while. Al Rosenberg said that they'd charge the people $5 to come into the studio and NBC hated that.
Gary said that they ended up doing their own tour up there and he'd go out and get people to pay ridiculous amounts of money to meet the people on the show and to get bags of chips and stuff. Gary said they once had a woman come in and do the news for Robin and charged her to do it. He said they had a lot of fun doing that stuff.
We heard another WNBC clip where Howard was talking about Gary and Al Rosenberg being out in the hall with the group of 18 tourists. They had a microphone out in the hall so Gary told everyone that they were going to charge $15 per person to get into the studio. He was giving them prices for the food and drinks they were selling too.
Howard asked Gary what the women looked like. Gary said that there were about 5 and there were some good looking ones out there. Howard wondered if any of the women were going to sit on his lap. Gary said the women were saying that wasn't going to happen. Howard said he wanted a lap pad of some type if he did have any of them sitting on his lap.
Gary collected some money from the people on the tour. They were charging $40 to talk up a record. The guy said it was only $15 so Gary let him in. Some of the other people were haggling for other things so Howard told Gary to get tough with them and charge the full amount. Gary told the people that all prices were final and that was that. Howard said that he can't be haggling like that, that's why he's got Gary out there taking the money.
Gary said he had already collected $270 from a total of 5 people. There was one woman who paid $150 to come in and do a bunch of stuff. She wanted to sit on Howard's lap but Howard wanted an additional $10 for that. She had given Gary all she had though. He wanted to see what she looked like before he let her do that though. He caught a glimpse of her and said that would be fine.
Gary collected all of the money and came up with $592 from all of the people who wanted to come into the studio. Robin told him to get some more money to bring it up to an even $600. Gary said that he had to collect a little more and it should easily go up to that much.
Howard had two groups come into the studio. One went into the engineering booth while the others came right into the studio. Howard checked out the girls that came in and went right to them. ONE of the women, Laura, paid to do a newscast. She's the one who dropped $150 to do this. She really loves Howard. She said that she loves him even more now that she's seen him. There was a Philippino guy in there who had sent in a song parody for them. Howard had him sing that real quick. Then he moved on to another woman in there. She was with her boyfriend though. He wanted to talk to the other woman that he was interested in but she was in the other group that wasn't in there yet.
Howard talked to Laura some more and had her do the newscast. Robin told her to cover the marathon since that's what she was going to cover herself. Howard asked Laura if she watched that marathon and if they saw the person who had diarrhea. They spent some time talking about that before they wrapped up.
Today's The Peacock years was over around 10:30am.
We heard from Gary who said that the next day about 2 or 3 women showed up to get naked. One of them was a woman who was plugging a movie and another one was just a regular woman. There was another woman who was a stripper. Fred said that he still doesn't understand, to this day, why women want to come in and get naked in the studio.
Gary said that he remembered Howard telling him to put newspaper up on the windows of the studio so no one would see what was going on. He was also told not to let anyone come into the studio. They had to keep people out of the studio and one of the people was an attorney that was working there. Howard insisted that they keep him out and Gary did a good job at doing that.
In the next clip we heard Howard saying that they had 3 girls down there to get naked for them after having nothing the day before. He had the girls come into the studio and then said hello to Maria. He talked to her and then to the second woman who wanted to get naked but she said that the guy with her had to get naked too. Howard asked about the third woman who also wanted to take her clothes off. She said that she had done that many times before. She had a strip-o-gram to read to him too.
Howard asked how the girls wanted to work it and asked if they wanted to take their tops off at the same time. The girls seemed to be up for anything. Howard asked if Bruce and Fred could watch. They didn't have a problem with that. Howard then had them line up and take their clothes off. He asked if they felt bad for him that they didn't have anyone coming in to take their clothes off. Maria said that she drove up all the way from Philadelphia to do this.
Howard said that Maria took her pants off. Then Destiny took her clothes off. Maria took her top off and she had a black bra on according to Howard. The strip-o-gram girl took her top off and flexed for him. Maria was still taking her clothes off so Howard was checking her out. He said that she was almost totally undressed at that point. He told her that she looked really good. She said she used to work in a massage parlor before so she's done that kind of thing before. The third woman, Kathy, was over on Howard's lap. He had her stand up so he could check her out. He said he was in heaven and this was great!
The stripper read her strip-o-gram which was from someone from Clone Audio. Howard said that they were going to have Maria do a Dial-a-Date. She was over by Howard touching him so he had to ask her to stop or his wife would kill him.
Robin said that she was disgusted with this. Howard said that there was a guy in there with his clothes off and he said that this was the only way he could get on NBC so that's why he was doing it. Howard joked that Barbara Bush was going to come in next to get naked.
Howard had Maria sit down to play Dial-a-Date with them. She said that she's a comedian from Philly and her favorite comic is Jackie Martling. She was still naked so Robin asked if they wanted to let her get back into her clothes. Howard said he was enjoying seeing her naked. He said she could put her clothes on if she wanted but he was enjoying her the way she was.
Howard called his mother Ray to let her know what he was up to. She agreed to get on the air but told Howard she was thoroughly disgusted with him. She said the neighbors were out in the street talking about it. She said that she can't believe that people are so excited about naked bodies. Howard said he'd just enjoying looking at this woman's body. Ray suggested that he take his clothes off too then. Ray said that she can't imagine what he's getting so excited over. Howard said that if she could just see this girl, she'd turn lesbian.
Ray asked Howard if he's going to let his daughter listen to this kind of show. Howard said that he knows he's irresponsible but if they want to keep him on the air that's fine with him. Ray said she doesn't feel that women should be doing this kind of thing. Robin applauded her for saying that. Howard kept saying how great it was to see this woman sitting there naked.
Ray said that she likes to hear Howard doing creative stuff and not this nonsense. Howard asked Maria to take off her bra while he was talking to his mother. She did that and Howard said that it was so wrong for her to do that. Ray said she expects more from women of today. Maria said that she was a feminist and she's not inhibited at all. Ray said that it's the way Howard is carrying on over the human body that's so uncreative. She said that no one cares. She told him to grow up. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard finished up the Dial-a-Date with Maria after that.
Then we heard another woman come in to get naked. Howard had her strip down to some music. Howard told her that she had a good body. Howard said all of the girls flex their breasts. The woman said it was her chest muscles.
That led into an interview Howard did with David Brenner. Brenner came in and spoke to Howard about why he hadn't gotten a TV show and things like that. Brenner wanted Howard to have some kind of TV show as well.
Howard talked about how he was called into a meeting where they told him he'd be fired if he didn't eliminate the tastelessness and ethnic humor from his show. Howard said they don't care about his ratings or anything like that. Brenner said you can't make someone into someone they're not. He said Howard shouldn't give in and he should just keep doing his thing and let them fire him.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to David about his new album and said he could play some cuts from it. Brenner said he had trouble even finding it in stores. Howard told the engineer which clip to play. They listened to a bit that Brenner did about reading National Geographic magazine. They had another bit about sex that they played as well.
Howard thanked David for backing them up. He said that David told him to just be himself so that's what he's going to do. Howard took some phone calls and one guy was saying that maybe management was right and they need more bland people on the air. Howard got sick of the phones after one guy did a lame accent. They wrapped up not too long after that.
Howard got the caller back on the line and spent some time talking to her about how she knew Rodney. She had grown up near where he worked and she claims that he knew her too. Howard took some other calls and let some people ask Rodney some questions.
Howard said he has to talk to Grant Tinker for Redd. He said he'll try to help get him back on TV. Boy Lee tried to get in touch with Tinker but he told Howard he'd have to call himself. Howard said he can't negotiate for Redd then. Redd said that people should write to NBC and ask that they put him back in a TV show. Howard wrapped up a short time later. They went to break after that.
That led into a clip of Howard at WNBC talking about the show he had done the day before and how Randy had come down to talk to him about something. He said Randy wasn't looking too good. He said Randy wanted to drive him home and talk to him about something. He said Randy came walking in with his eyes fixated on him and no one else. Howard said he's the ringleader there so that's the guy Randy goes to.
Howard said Randy wouldn't talk to him until they got in his car. He said Randy even waited until they got out of the parking garage. Howard said they got on the street and then Randy went off on him telling him they had problems. Howard said Randy was asking him what the hell he was doing and read him the riot act. Howard said Randy was telling him that he's out of hand and out of control with everything. Howard said he was pounding his fist and almost hitting him on the leg. He said the guy was going crazy.
Howard said Randy told him he'd like to keep him there at WNBC and that's where he'd like him to stay. Howard said of course they want him there. Robin doesn't think they'd ever fire him. Howard said he had the feeling that if he had started ranting and raving that Randy would have fired him. He said he just had to agree with him and it made him feel totally masculine again.
Howard said Randy was upset about using the word ''penis'' so much on the show. He said Randy may be a homosexual and that's why he gets so uptight about that.
Howard had some 16 year old girls show up to meet him. He said hi to them and spoke to them for a minute before letting them go.
Howard tried to call Randy's wife but she wasn't picking up. Howard said he's going to try and do a good show today and maybe not talk so much about penis and bowel movement stuff. He whispered that trying to keep management from hearing it. Howard said he'll give it like two weeks and then come back in full force. He spent a few more minutes talking about that and then talking to Dale the Program Director. Dale had to fill in for a DJ that didn't show up for work. Fred was making fun of Dale while he was in there. He was making ''duh'' sounds since he had done that once while talking to Howard.
Howard said he wasn't sure what to do after Randy yelled at him. He said he has to come up with something like a Reborn Christian Dial-a-Date or something like that. Howard said he's making so much money for the company and they have no business critiquing his show. Robin said that he does work for their company though so he has to think about that.
Howard tried calling Randy's wife, Fran, again. He asked her to come on the air with them. She hadn't heard the show. Howard told her what he did in the car the day before. She said she knew that he had the talk with Howard. Howard told her more details about what he said to him. Howard said the guy isn't his father. He said he thinks that it's Fran telling Randy that he's out of control with the penis talk. Fran said that's not what she does. She said she's actually on his side in this. Howard asked if she ever gets into it and tells him what he's doing wrong. She said she never really does. She said she's pretty sure Howard knows who the source is.
Howard asked Fran not to listen to his show anymore. She told him that it's not her telling Randy though. She said she was listening to Z-100 one morning and it was very unfunny so she's not sure why people claim they're stealing stuff from his show. Howard said she should listen to them and keep critiquing them instead. She said she doesn't do that and she doesn't enjoy that show. Howard asked her to please just stay out of his life. He didn't want her listening anymore. She said she would stop. Howard thanked her for that and let her go. She told him to calm down as she was getting off the phone. They went to break after that.
Howard took calls and did the Mystery Guest thing with Sandra sitting in. Howard had to take a few calls before someone guessed correctly. After a caller guessed it was Sandra Bernhard Howard spent a few minutes talking to Sandra.
Howard and Jack spent a few minutes chatting about various things and then they said they were going to do a Wolfman Jack contest. Howard and the guys all did impressions of Jack and the caller had to guess which one was the right one. The first caller guessed correctly.
Howard talked to Graham about his fighting with Soupy Sales. Graham had worked with Soupy on some tour he was on. He said he never really saw the guy. Howard told Graham that they had Frank Zappa on the show the day before and he was saying that Live Aid was some kind of cover up for drug smuggling or something like that.
Howard wanted the NBC tour to come by so he could sell some autographs to the people. The guys said the tour just passed them by.
Howard wanted to jam with Graham so he got some instruments out to play with. Howard had a guitar coming in so he said he would do an acoustic thing with him. Howard started to sing when the guitar started playing but Graham didn't seem to like it. Howard had him play ''Teach Your Children'' and told him he wanted to do it right. Howard and Graham did the song and spent a few more minutes talking before they had to wrap up.
Today's The Peacock Years was over around 11:20am.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:05am.