|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard and the guys were back live this morning. Howard started the show saying he was telling Jon Hein about the no win situation with his kid's bat mitzvah. The Jets are in the playoffs so he's got a no win with that. Howard said there is a lot to talk about this morning. They're back live and so much has happened. Howard said they're making history for the History of Howard Stern act IV.
Howard said he was on SternFanNetwork over the weekend and he had to get right out of there. Howard said he almost wrote in about something. He said someone was saying that he tries to get out of there early when he's really doing 5 hours of show when they're only supposed to do 4. Howard said he does get woozy and maybe it sounds like he's lazy after 5 and a half hours. Howard said he wishes that he could close that SternFanNetwork. but he doesn't own it. Howard said he could have shut it down when he owned it on his own web site. Howard said they had to shut down his own forums because of the lies and half truths that were on there. Howard said he shut his down and then Mutt had the idea to provide it for the fans on his own. Howard said he took that responsibility on for some reason.
Howard wanted to know if Mutt makes good money off that web site. Jason said he makes a tiny bit but not anything significant. Gary said Mutt makes money as an electrician. Howard said he was thinking about the web site, not the electrician thing. Robin said Mutt has said it covers his expenses. Howard said he knows he makes enough to afford panties since Sal was at his house sniffing his daughter's panties.
Howard asked Benjy if he has dated hotter chicks than that. Benjy said he finds that all of them have been hot. Howard said it sounds like he can't answer that question. Benjy said he can't say that any one of them is the hottest. Howard said Benjy just can't answer a question.
Howard said he likes how Dick Cheney is bad mouthing out President now. Howard said we never heard from the guy while Bush was in office and now he's coming out and talking about the way Obama is doing things. Howard said we lost the World Trade Center buildings while Cheney and Bush were in office. He said they didn't really do anything about that either.
Howard said Cheney must be upset that the guy's underwear didn't explode because now he's got less to be happy about. Howard and Robin talked about that for a minute. He said it's strange how incompetent we are. Howard said
Howard said he was going to talk about the holiday party but he wanted to take some phone calls. One guy asked him to talk about the Jackie party. Howard said he thought he talked about that. Robin reminded him it was after they left for vacation. Howard said Jackie came to the party he threw for the staff. They were at a place called Lure. He said the party was great. He said his friend John owns the place. He said he told John he wanted to have the party there and the guy shut down the whole place for them. Howard said as long as they pay for it they'll shut the whole place down.
Howard said they did karaoke there and they had some audio of Ronnie doing his thing. He had some Brian Phelan audio too. Howard said Doug Goodstein had his camera there and captured some of that. Howard said Benjy's date was there too and she's kind of wild. Howard said it was funny because he asked him if she was okay to be there and it turns out it was good. Robin said she was sitting with Scott DePace and Benjy and his girl were doing things in the room. Howard said it looked like he was fingering her. He said he had her dress pulled up over her head. Benjy denied that he was fingering her.
Howard said Ronnie was dirty dancing with her and he had to put a stop to that. He said he sent her back over to Benjy. Howard said that guys are saying she was stroking his cock under the table. Benjy denied that too. Howard asked if they're dating. Benjy said they are but he's not sure how established it is. Howard said they found out that Benjy reads children's books to her at night. Benjy said she likes a lot of books but that's just one she likes.
The caller didn't want to get caught up in that and asked Howard to get to the Jackie story. Howard said he found it interesting that Benjy was reading kid's books to this girl. He said he was going to play some clips from the party though. Howard said he really liked Benjy's date. He said she had a lot of fun.
Howard said after a few drinks people were starting to sing. Howard said Beth did something cool there. He said that they were brutal with her on SternFanNetwork. He said they were goofing on her and making it seem like she wants to be around the Paparazzi. Howard said he has the worst imbecile fans ever. Howard said that Mariah Carey has friends who they call lambs and they try to boost her up but they have these wolves. Howard said he hates his fans. He said his own fans are at war with him. There must be some fans who don't hate the show.
Howard said they were at the party and feeling good. Beth asked Sal to host Karaoke and he took that as a mission and thanked her. Howard said the sad thing is that Sal's wife doesn't pay attention to him at all. Howard said he kind of understands it after seeing the way he behaves. Howard said he said he wanted to dedicate a song to the woman he wanted to fuck and said it was for Mary Dell'Abate. Howard said Sal's wife didn't want to be around him that night.
Howard said Benjy's girl was lifting her dress while she danced and stuff. They talked about that and then Howard played some audio of Ronnie singing Cher's ''Turn Back Time'' since he's a Cher fan. Howard said he had Ronnie doing another song when he interrupted Jon Hein and JD. Howard said JD and Jon were singing ''Sweet Caroline'' together and Ronnie got up and interrupted them. Howard said he hijacked the whole song. The caller asked if JD sings better than he talks. Howard said he can't tell because he was drunk himself.
Howard played the audio of Jon and JD singing where Ronnie got in on it too. Robin said that the Karaoke was kind of loud but it was easy to go to another part of the restaurant to get away from the noise. Sal said the only person who wouldn't do karaoke was Jackie Martling. He wanted to do one of his own songs. Robin said she even got up and did a song. Howard said Brian Phelan was helping her out. Sal said he asked Jackie if he wanted to sing ''Take This Job And Shove It'' and it really pissed Jackie off.
They had Ronnie singing ''Back in Black'' too. Brian Phelan was singing with Ronnie on that one. Howard said Jackie didn't want to do the karaoke thing and he had to go up and do his own. JD told Howard about Ronnie getting up and just yelling while Brian was singing. Howard played that audio and Ronnie was just screaming for no apparent reason. Howard said Beth thought the karaoke might have been a bad idea because it got so loud. He said he loved it though.
Howard played the audio of Jackie getting up to sing one of his songs. Jackie sang the song about smoking pot and having his dick out with no music playing in the background. Howard said Jackie brought it to a grinding halt. Robin said he sings the songs like everyone is going to know the lyrics. Jackie did have some people singing along with him.
Howard said he and Jackie sat down to eat and he was doing the Jew bastard thing. Howard said he doesn't like to hear that ''Jew'' stuff when he talks to people. He said he doesn't need that. Howard said it was just weird. Howard said he almost got up and just left. The caller had to run out to start his car so Howard asked what was up with that. the guy said he had to go to work soon so he was warming up his car.
Howard said Sal is kind of like Jackie in that way that he always calls people by what ethnicity they are. Howard said he's always referring to Robin being black and stuff when he talks about her.
Howard said he and Jackie sat down and Jackie said he knew he was going to crucify him but they were going to have a great time. Howard said he wasn't so sure about that. He said they spoke for a while and Jackie always has a chip on his shoulder. He said Jackie was telling him he couldn't believe he was invited to the holiday party. Howard said he has no problem with Jackie but Jackie thinks he does.
Howard said Jackie has a burning desire to do radio now that he's doing the Joke Hunt show. Howard said Jackie wants more time to do his show and he'd like to do it every day. Howard said Jackie came to him asking if the could do his show on other channels there. Howard said he didn't miss a beat and told Jackie that he can do whatever he wants. He said he loves that he does an hour on the channels there and gave him the blessing to do his show wherever he wants to. He said he can do it on Raw Dog or on any terrestrial radio station he wants. Howard said that was about it. Robin said it's great to know that Jackie hasn't changed at all.
Howard said Jackie was talking about how he wants to find out if there is any demand for his show. He said he appreciates him coming to him and asking. He said he hopes that they can get Joke Hunt to become more prominent on the channels there. The caller said it sounds like he had a great time. Howard said it was great and there wasn't one question asked about how he's doing. Howard said he's doing just fine though.
The caller asked Howard to do a Fred segment today. Howard said he's actually got that planned for today. He let the caller go after that.
Robin and Howard talked about some of the other stuff that Jackie was talking about at the lunch. Howard was still caught up with Jackie saying the ''Jew bastard'' line to him. Howard said that's just not right. They were comparing that to the way Sal always says inappropriate things to people. He once went up to Chris Rock and said ''What's up my nigga?'' and he didn't even know the guy.
Another caller said that the song they played Jackie singing is the theme song to his Joke Hunt show. He said that's great that they don't even know that. Howard was wondering if Jackie could keep the name ''Joke Hunt'' if he moved to terrestrial radio since it sounds like ''cunt.''
Howard said that he's just going to say that he was reflecting on Artie over vacation and he has given them a lot of great moments on the show. Howard said he had 10 that he could think of that were just great. Howard said there are a lot of people saying a lot of negative stuff about Artie on SternFanNetwork. He said we all have our demons and he respects the way the family is handling this whole thing. Howard said when he sees these people talking about him and his wife and Artie. Howard said it's just wrong and he doesn't like that.
Howard said Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He said he's a great contributor and a great man. Howard said he's going to put together some of the great Artie moments from the show. Howard said people were saying they hope Artie dies and he doesn't understand that. Howard said Artie is so funny. Robin said he's loving and very giving too.
Howard said the family is saying that it's their business and they'll talk about it when they want to. The caller asked about the SIRIUS aspect of the whole thing. Howard said the Jim Breuer thing was false and he's not sure what Jim said but it wasn't true that he's joining the show. Howard said he's not sure where it came from.
The caller said there are some tag lines for Beth's book on Amazon and he doesn't get that either. He didn't even want to talk about that. Howard said his fans are just brutal and they're like wolves. Howard said he has to imagine that it's a small segment of the audience that does this stuff though. He said he hopes that's the case anyway.
Howard said he and Beth went to a Knicks game and he saw some picture posted online and everyone was bashing him in the comments section. Howard said he thinks that those are his fans saying that stuff. He's not even sure. He dropped the whole thing after that and moved on to more phone calls.
He read one where the writer complained about the way Jackie took credit for everything when he was talking about his time on the show. Howard said Jackie wanted to be known for the stuff he was adding to the show and he wanted to be acknowledged every time he had a joke on the show. Howard said he couldn't fit that into the show though so they didn't credit him for every joke.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that the fans on SFN are not representative of the real fans. Howard said that stuff really pisses him off. Mariann said that she writes all good stuff about the show. Howard said that some people were talking about how he's saving the Artie stuff for the show. Howard said he wanted to chock that cock sucker. Howard said that's not the way it is. Mariann said that stuff should be private and he shouldn't give those people the air time.
Mariann said that she loved the History of Howard Stern. She said that she loved the line he had about the Gary Puppet and wanting the finger from the puppet when it was stolen. Howard said he wasn't able to listen to the History because he gets all crazy over the stuff he used to do. He said he would have done it differently.
Howard read through some more email about the special and talked some more about it. He said he thought it was an interesting special and they got a lot of behind the scenes stuff. He said he had to say Bravo to the tapes team once again.
Howard said he saw that Rush was named the Radio Personality of the Decade by Media Week. Howard read about that and how people think Howard Stern should have been named that since he's done so many things for radio. Howard read an article about Rush and argued about why he shouldn't be the radio personality of the decade. Howard said he doesn't have big ratings, he's number 6 in mid-day ratings in New York. Howard said he's on at 10am and he can't beat guys who are on at that time of day. He said that's just lame. He said they have to be kidding him about this title they gave that guy. Howard said he wants a recount.
Robin said she read that Rush isn't doing his show this morning because he apparently needs more time. Howard said he's another guy who needs more time off. Howard said he's there doing his show in the morning and freezing his ass off. Howard said that Media Week also named some other things so he read through that stuff. He agreed with them naming ''The Sopranos'' the best TV show of the decade. Howard said they named YouTube the web site of the decade and Google the media company of the decade. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and said he wanted to make an announcement and then get to some Joey Boots stuff. He said Joey was out getting ''Baba Booey'' on just about every channel. He said they have an announcement to make. They have a $100,000 prize thanks to AshleyMadison.com for the Tiger Woods mistress beauty pageant. This is only open to women who have slept with Tiger Woods. Howard said it's open to any of the women who have come out so far. Howard said that $100,000 is a lot of money for a contest like that.
Howard and Robin talked about the contest and how they need to get at least 3 women to enter to do the contest. Gary said they have one woman who has already spoken to them and her story is breaking this week. Gary said there was one report that he may have been with one of the women over break. Howard said that was just a coincidence according to the article he read. Howard said that one girl who he was rumored to be with would be great for the contest. Howard said there are a bunch who would be great for the contest too.
Howard said he wanted to get to Joey Boots and all of that but he had to get the word out about this contest. Gary said he heard that the reason Tiger hasn't been seen in public is because he got beat up so bad he didn't want people to see his face. He heard that he had teeth broken out and things like that.
Howard said he was reading about how Tiger's wife was looking for $300 million in the divorce. He said that they have a pre-nup so he can't see her getting that. He said that they're offering her to be a judge in the contest though.
Howard said this contest is going to be swim suit competition and personality and of course talent. Howard said he's making this up as he goes along though. Howard said they can do a reenactment of their night with Tiger if they want to. Then he said maybe they won't do talent and they'll just do beauty and personality.
Howard said he thinks that it'll drag some people out of the woodwork with the $100,000. He said he wants to get the beauty pageant going now.
Lisa said that JD turned 30 last week. Howard said it's no wonder he's on medication. Robin said that's why he's so depressed. Howard did an impression of JD and goofed on him for a minute. He said JD liked Benjy's girlfriend. Howard said he had Artie's mic open for some reason and he said that's just in case he comes walking in.
Lisa said JD had a lot of birthday wishes from people on Facebook. Howard and Fred did their impressions of JD and goofed on him as Lisa was talking about the story. Lisa said that JD had a girlfriend 10 years ago and he talked about her. Howard said JD didn't have a serious girlfriend. He said he was a virgin when he met him. JD came in and said that she wasn't that serious but she was the one he kissed and felt up for the first time.
Howard asked JD what he did for his birthday. JD said he came to work and then went home. He said he got a gift from his mom. He said he got a check from her. Howard asked what his dad gave him. JD said his dad was laid off for a while so he just started working recently so he sent him a card. Howard said that sucks he was laid off. Howard hoped he was back on his feet. Howard said there's a movie called ''Trucker'' out and it's a great movie. He said the chick is hot. He said he saw some great movies over vacation. Robin said ''Avatar'' was the most amazing movie. She said that the 3D was great and you'll never want to see anything else in 3D after seeing it. Howard said that movie has made over a billion dollars already and that's good because it'll encourage people to make more cool movies.
Howard asked Robin where she saw it. She was in Miami. Howard asked if the glasses sucked. Robin said that they let you keep them or give them back. She gave her's back at the theater.
JD had a zit on his lip so Howard pointed that out. JD said he shouldn't have come in and said he hates that fucking place. Howard told him to hold still so he could look at it. JD said he just popped it this morning. They goofed on him about that but he was getting upset so Howard told him he could leave.
Howard asked JD what meds he's on. JD said he's on Zolft and Xanax. He said that he just wanted to be left alone. Howard said he's going to get him a bigger office since that zit was so huge. He said he heard JD went to see Avatar and they wanted to charge him for two tickets. Howard said he gets zits once in a while and he hates that. He said it's a pain in the ass.
Howard said Jim Cameron is going to be coming in soon. Lisa got back to her news preview and said that Sal's father was in the hospital just before Christmas. They had to do a quadruple bypass on him. She said he's doing much better now. Lisa said that George Takei has just finished acting in a play over in England. She said she interviewed him about that. She wrapped up and got out of there after that.
Gary said that they had a lot of people at the party like Al Rosenberg and it was like having a reunion with some people. Howard said the guy who has a super attractive wife is Scott DePace. Howard said his wife Pam is very hot. He said he has pictures of her and she's very photogenic. Howard said he'll be getting some copies of that.
Gary asked Scott who he thinks is the radio personality of the decade. Scott said it was Howard Stern of course. Howard said Scott has to say that because he just talked about how hot his wife is. Howard said the only thing wrong with her is Scott.
Howard said Fred's wife is a doll too. He said she loves Fred, go figure. Howard said Beth said that Fred is getting better looking as he gets older. Fred said Beth gets better looking no matter what. Robin said Beth was in an article talking about how she thinks she's in great shape. Howard said she thinks that she's fat. He said that's why she stays in shape.
Howard said that Brittany Murphy died while they were on vacation. He said the weird thing is that she was 32 and she died of natural causes and the husband didn't want them to do an autopsy but they did one anyway. Howard wondered when they were going to find out what happened to her. Robin said they didn't find a definite reason for her dying so they're waiting for toxicology reports. He said that was kind of a sad story. Robin said she was a good actress. She saw her on Broadway and thought she was great. Howard said she was great in ''Clueless'' too. He said that he'd like to die from being too thin. Howard said there's no chance of that happening. Fred said there's no chance of Benjy dying from that either.
Howard played the first clip which was a FOX 5 ''Baba Booey.'' Then Joey went to CBS 2 and got on their camera yelling ''Baba Booey... Howard Stern's penis...'' They quickly get off the live feed and move on. Howard played another one where Joey got on FOX Business yelling out ''Howard Stern's penis'' and yelling some stuff about Artie quitting the Stern Show. They continued with their live broadcast so Joey got on again with a second ''Baba Booey'' rant.
Howard had Joey on the phone so he let him say a few words about all of this. Joey's phone was cutting out though. Then Howard played another clip where Joey got on FOX Business a second time. He just popped into screen as they were reporting about the ball drop.
Howard said Joey moved over to the Spanish stations and got them. He had one from Univision 1 where Joey got in a ''El Baba Booey... Howard Stern's pinga es paquito...'' They kept going with their broadcast while Joey was yelling out.
Howard said the Baba Booey thing has been going on for like 20 years now. Joey said his buddy Pedro got in a bunch of ''Baba Booey'' mentions on air too. Howard said Pedro is from Superfan Roundtable and Jackie's Joke Hunt and he was out there getting in a bunch of Baba Booey's too. Howard let Joey go after that.
Howard said Joey is amazing. He then played some of the Pedro clips where he got on during live coverage of a fire. Pedro yelled out ''Baba Booey'' over and over as they were doing their live broadcasts on a couple of channels. Howard said they were amazing doing it on so many channels. Howard said he had a third clip of Pedro doing his thing. He got in another few ''Baba Booey'' references during the live broadcast. Pedro got FOX 5 like 3 times. Howard played another couple of clips and Pedro yelled out his ''Baba Booeys'' in each one as they were live on the air.
In the last clip Rosanna Scotto was very upset about that one guy yelling out. She said that it was very rude. the other reporter said he kind of likes it. He even threw in a Baba Booey of his own. Howard said his favorite one was Joey Boots yelling out and the channel trying to turn down the sound but when they turned it back on he was there still yelling. He replayed that one. In that one they kept potting up when Joey was in the middle of ''Howard Stern's penis.'' Howard said he cares more about Howard Stern's penis than he does about the guy from Phillips talking about the lighting there. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and mentioned the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant they have in the works. He read about some of the women he was with and mentioned the names that have come forward so far. Howard said he didn't have all of the girls but if just these girls entered it would be insane. Howard said that someone is going to win $100,000. He said that AshleyMadison.com is sponsoring the contest and that's very fitting because if he had used that service then none of this would have happened. Howard said that if anyone knows any of the mistresses out there they should have them contact the show.
Robin said that Gary is already in touch with one of the girls. Gary said that a friend of her's contacted her about the contest. He said if anyone knows any of those girls out there they should tell them about this contest. Howard said they may have to turn it into a big special. He said they could put them on in Jay Leno's slot for a night and give NBC some big ratings.
Howard said Ralph Kiner from Kiner's corner had a stroke and still does broadcasts but the guy doesn't sound that bad. He said Dick sounds wasted when he's doing his thing. Howard had some audio from that to play. He said there are moments when you hear Ryan Seacrest saying ''That's right Dick...'' and you know he didn't understand a word Dick said. Howard played one clip where Dick was rambling about something and this chick answers him like she understood what he was saying. Howard said that chick had no idea what Dick just said.
Robin said Dick was a broadcaster and he must know better than to do this. Howard said that chick just blew past Dick and went on with her stuff not knowing what he said. Howard said everyone just pretends they know. Howard said Dick should have insisted they all talk like him.
Howard said Dick screwed up the countdown. He had some audio of that too. Howard pointed out that Ryan makes sure he enunciates his words perfectly to rub it in Dick's face. Howard said Dick must be thinking ''That motherfucker'' as he's doing that. Howard said he feels bad for Dick with the stroke thing and all. He said that he won't hold on to his show if he has a stroke. He said Dick should just let it go. It's time to go. Howard said the pussies at ABC won't tell him that.
Howard said he knows the guy who runs ABC and he's one of the nicest execs you'll ever meet but it's time to sit Dick down and tell him to stop. He said that Bob Iger is a nice guy but he has to end it with Dick. Robin said you shouldn't be feeling bad on New Year's Eve.
Howard played Dick Clark counting down and screwing up the numbers. He missed 13 and then got 10 and 11 mixed up. Howard said Ryan Seacrest knows how to count down. He can get every number right. Howard did an impression of Ryan counting down and over enunciating every word. Howard said he was reading that Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol and he hopes he leaves Ryan Seacrest there.
Howard said he'd take Simon's spot on American Idol. Howard said he's even more honest and brutal than Simon is. Howard said he'd even do it as Dick Clark post-stroke. Howard said he'd get the guys from SternFanNetwork to write for him. He said he could dress up in a Nazi outfit and do it telling the contestants to get out. He said everyone would be shocked when they heard him being nice to someone.
Robin said it's not that easy to be mean to someone's face. Howard said he wouldn't have a problem with it. He said he could pull it off no problem. He said he'd tazer people to get them off stage.
Howard said it really is time for Dick Clark to leave. He said it was a novelty to see him the first two years but now it's like he's hijacking the network. Howard played more audio where Ryan Seacrest was talking about the great new year and how that moment takes your breath away. Dick was talking about the crowds there in Times Square and mumbling through whatever it was he was saying.
Howard and Robin spent a little more time talking about Dick and his stroked out speech. Howard wondered why ABC would keep him on. He said maybe Dick is like their Crackhead Bob and he brings in some ratings. Howard said NBC should get the guy who just moves his eye to communicate.
Howard said Ryan is such an affected dick. He said that some day he'll have a stroke and he'll have to hand off the countdown to someone. Howard listened to more of the Dick clips where he was wishing everyone a happy new year from the bottom of his heart. Dick was mumbling and asking Ryan why he didn't look ''sidey.'' Howard and Robin had no idea what word he was going for there. Howard said maybe he looked like a sardine. Howard said he didn't fuckin' know. Howard said it's time for Dick to leave. He replayed the clip and tried to figure out that word. They still had no idea what he was going for. Howard said you know that Dick hates Ryan Seacrest. Howard said if the stroke had killed Dick he never would have gotten to see him taking over his whole empire. Howard said Dick should be honest and tell Ryan that he hates him and he loves that he was out in the rain. Howard figured he was going for ''soggy'' when he said ''sidey.''
Howard played another clip where Ryan and Dick were wrapping up their coverage of the ball drop and talking about some of the other stuff they had coming up. Howard did his Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest impressions. He said they were fake fighting in the clip and goofed on that.
Howard replayed that clip again where Dick was saying Ryan didn't look soggy even after standing outside for hours. Howard said he was making a joke about Ryan looking good even after all that time. JD came in and told Howard about another clip he should play. Howard asked JD if he had a stroke too.
Howard played more of the audio and said Ryan sounds like a girl. Howard said Dick was giving him the business and giving him a hard time about looking so good. He let that clip play through to hear the fake fight that Dick, Ryan and this girl Melissa were in. Howard said Dick has really lost it. Dick thought that Ryan was picking on Melissa but he wasn't. He said that was some banter. Howard said he didn't know it was tradition to argue over having a tough night.
Howard and the guys goofed on Dick some more after listening to some more of the audio. Howard said Dick has a sign off that he does every year and he doesn't even make an effort to say something different. Howard said that's why he loves guys like that. They don't have to work hard, they just do the same thing year after year. Howard said it's so obvious that Dick hates Ryan. He compared some of that to the speech that Elephant Boy made at his press conference when he was running for governor. Howard played that clip and said Elephant Boy could take that part on the countdown. Robin was saying that sometimes you just have to stop doing something like this.
Howard said he made a speech at the party and he knows it was embarrassing. Robin said that he kept saying the same names over and over. She said he was trying to remember names and he wasn't able to so he'd repeat other names.
JD came in and said that during Howard's speech he was naming all of these people and he forgot Tim Sabean. Howard said he did mention Tim. JD said that's because Gary reminded him. Howard said he was wasted. He said he and JD hung out and had a good time at the party.
Richard Christy said that Howard was pushing people when they were singing karaoke. Howard said that was the most fun he had. Richard said he got pushed by Howard. He didn't know who it was until he turned around.
Robin said Ronnie almost took her down at the party. She said he was dancing and almost knocked her over. Ronnie said he heard some glasses clinking and he saw Ronnie laying on his back on a table. He didn't know if he fell or what.
Howard asked Richard if he cut back on his drinking during the vacation. Richard said he definitely did not cut back. He said he was drinking a lot over vacation.
Bobo asked how Robin's date was. Howard said he was a nice guy. Robin said he's just a friend. Howard thought she was kind of uptight about talking about him. Robin said she's not even sure if he's of legal age so she's not talking about him.
Howard said Howard TV had some video of Ronnie dancing with Benjy's date at the party. He said that's when he had to step in and break it up. Howard said he had to tell Ronnie that was enough. Howard said Benjy must have liked that. Benjy said he had a lot of fun.
Bobo also talked about the History of Howard Stern and how great that was. He said that he didn't know that it was Neil Drake who had put Gay Rich on Fred's lap at the Scores bachelor party.
Howard asked Fred if he had anything to talk about from his vacation. Fred said he just cleaned his apartment and relaxed while he was on vacation. He didn't have much else to add. Howard said Fred could take over this show no problem with stories like that. He said Scott Greenstein shouldn't worry about him leaving now that they've heard that.
Eric went on to ask if they're going to be watching TNA Impact on Spike TV tonight. Robin said ''No!'' Howard said he would watch but he's not sure he'd like that. He said Spike has some ultimate fighting that he likes but not the wrestling stuff. Eric said Bubba is doing the show. Howard said he didn't know that so maybe they will watch. Howard hung up on Eric and said that was enough of that. He said he knows he'll call back in like 10 times complaining that he hung up on him.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that what Ronnie did with Benjy's girl was really rude. Howard said it really was. The guy asked Benjy if he was getting off on that. Howard said he knows he wasn't getting off on it. Howard said he saw Benjy just standing there while Ronnie was man handling his woman. Howard said he was looking at the video of that and he looks like a giraffe. He was standing above everyone at the party. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that he watched a bunch of movies that the Screen Actors Guild sent to him to watch. He said he had to throw some of them away. He said one of them was Paul Giamatti and the movie was just bad. He said he loves Paul but he couldn't watch it. He said he didn't know what the hell was going on so he bailed out of that. He said he saw ''Precious'' and thought it was really good. He said it took him 2 weeks to work up the nerve to watch it. Howard said every horrible thing happens to this girl and it's awful but the movie was very well done. They talked about the great acting by Mo'Nique and the other people in the movie. Howard was saying he was thinking about how depressing the movie was and how it reminded him about Roosevelt. Robin said it was bad for her too.
Howard said there was another great movie that he had to recommend. He said this one was fantastic. He said it was called ''Bad Lieutenant.'' Robin said she loved that one too. She said it was very good and told Fred he has to see it even though Fred said he wasn't sure he wanted to.
Howard said there was another one called ''The Burning Plain'' that was really good. ''Trucker'' was great too. He said ''The Messenger'' was good too. He said Woody Harrelson was very good in the movie. He told Robin about that and she said she'd have to see that. Howard said there was ''Julia'' too and he didn't watch all of that. He said it wasn't the one that was ''Julie and Julia'' it was something else.
Howard said there was another movie he saw that was really good. He said that there was also ''Brothers'' with Tobey Maguire and he was amazing in that one. Howard said he didn't know much about Jake Gyllenhaal but he was good in that one too.
Howard said he saw ''Up'' and liked that. He said he didn't see it in 3D though. Robin said Sal recommended that one to her. She said she liked it too. Howard said he didn't like ''Julia.'' He said it got good reviews though. Howard said he thinks you shouldn't waste your time.
Fred said he liked ''The Fantastic Mr. Fox.'' Howard said he liked ''Hurt Locker'' too. He talked about that one for a short time. Howard said he loved ''The Proposal'' too. He said he thought Sandra bullock was good in that one.
Howard said Woody Harrelson was great in that movie ''The Messenger'' and it's like no one saw the movie. He doesn't get why that is. He said it was a fantastic accomplishment but it didn't get great reviews. Howard said he saw ''GI Joe'' and that was crap but it was fun crap. He said he also liked ''It's Complicated'' too.
Howard said the biggest story that went on while they were away was Charlie Sheen beating up on his wife. Howard said he is obviously mentally unstable. Howard said the publicist was saying they can't jump to conclusions with this story and he wasn't sure what they meant by that. Howard said he seems to have a long history of acting strange. Howard said he remembers something about shooting Kelly Preston in the arm. Benjy said that was supposedly an accidental shooting. Howard said this guy's history is strange. He asked how many times he's had a domestic abuse charge. Robin told him about some stuff she had read and now this has come out.
Howard said he heard that there was a 911 call where he was choking this woman or something. Gary said he heard that he tried to stab her. Howard said he didn't want to jump to any conclusions but if it's true then how do people applaud this guy when he gets awards. He said maybe there's something really wrong with him. He wondered why he gets a pass. He said if he did something like this himself, he'd probably be fired.
Howard said he came to a conclusion about something over vacation. He said he voted for Obama and he has high hopes for him but he just put more troops on the line and he thinks he pulled a bullshit move. Robin said that they seem to be stuck in this thing. Howard said that the outcome is going to be bad. He thought they were going to pull out of Iraq. Gary said that they're sending more troops to Afghanistan and pulling some out of Iraq. Howard said that fighting it with ground troops is the problem. He said they have to do something else.
They spent a minute on that and then Howard said he was talking to his cousin about sexual predators and how out of control it's been getting. Robin wondered if there are more or if it's better reporting. Fred said that it may be inspiring people when they read about it. Howard said he doesn't know why we're not talking about it but castration is the answer. Robin asked if it would be real castration or chemical. Howard said it should be real castration. He said he's not sure why we don't talk about it. Robin said they send people away to prison and they know that they're going to keep doing it when they get out.
Howard said his cousin thinks it has something to do with the churches being behind it. Howard said we really have to do something about it. He said that people are praying on children and they have to start with the child rapists and castrate them.
Howard said that Charlie Sheen's publicist was saying that it would ''benefit everyone'' if they didn't jump to conclusions. Howard said he got enraged when he read that.
Howard said he was watching ''Sex Rehab'' over vacation. He said the final episode aired and at the end of the show they have the celebrities say some stuff and then they let some doves fly off. Howard said he's been reading about the doves flying off and it's a terrible thing. He said they're domesticated birds and they just sit on a tree and die. He said that people don't know this and the birds just die. Howard said they think it's beautiful to do that but it's not right to let them just fly off. Howard said he was upset by that on ''Sex Rehab'' and he found that depressing.
Howard read about Rush Limbaugh's ratings and how they're just going down. Howard said he doesn't get how he was voted the broadcaster of the decade. Howard said he's the broadcaster of the decade, not Rush. Howard said he did things that Rush could never do in his career. Howard said he's an asshole. Howard said that's really insulting to him to vote that guy the broadcaster of the decade. Howard said Rush is on in 600 markets and he only has 14 million listeners. Howard said he had 18 million in 50 markets. Howard said he did that in morning radio too, not mid-days like Rush. Howard said there's no one to compete with in mid-days so Rush should be number 1.
Howard read about Donald Trump's wife Ivana being kicked off an airplane. Howard said she yelled at some kids on the flight. He said he'd do the same thing if they were running around on a flight. Howard said they pulled the plane back to the gate to get her off the flight. Howard said he had a lot more that went on while they were away but it was getting late.
Howard read an article that Linda Stasi wrote about the Charlie Sheen thing. Howard said he likes her. She was asking why Charlie gets a pass. Howard read that article and Linda was saying that Charlie seems to get a pass for this kind of behavior but Tiger Woods doesn't get a break for what he did. Howard read about Sheen shooting Kelly Preston ''by mistake'' at one time. There were also details about some of the other things he has gotten into trouble for over the years. He wanted to know why this guy is getting a free pass. Robin said they have to keep an eye on this guy. They spent a couple more minutes talking about all of that. Howard said he doesn't think the guy should be applauded at the award shows when he's doing this kind of stuff. Howard said women love the guy and it doesn't make sense.
Howard said all of the women who he has mentioned are eligible. He said that there may be even more. Howard said they have Steve Langford there to find out even more about their stories.
Howard got back to the Charlie Sheen thing and said he was pissed that he's got an endorsement deal with Hanes. Howard said he could promote that stuff and he's never hurt anyone or shot anyone like Charlie has. Howard said he hasn't been a client of Heidi Fleiss' either. Howard said he's no snitch. Howard said he's never been to rehab or had to be turned in by his father.
Howard said he may have to listen to Mel Karmazin talking about him on Charlie Rose. He said that he would like to hear Mel say something nice after reading all of the negative stuff on SternFanNetwork. JD said he was pulling some Rush Limbaugh stuff when he was known as someone else. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about High Pitch Eric being thrown out of his late mother's apartment. He said that he's been sleeping in Joey Boots apartment and at Bob Levy's house. Steve said Eric has been out shoveling snow in sneakers and wrestling pants for community service. Steve said that Joey is moving so Eric won't be able to stay with him.
Steve said that Sal did a stunt where he stuck his penis in a glass at the Howard TV holiday party. He kept it under wraps so Howard wouldn't find out. Howard said he kept it under wraps pretty well.
Steve said that there are NBC affiliates who are ready to bail on the Jay Leno show. Howard said they should move him to like 10 in the morning. He said that he blew it and should have gone to ABC or FOX to do a show instead of taking that 10 o'clock show. Howard said he's not sure how well he'd do in the mornings. Fred said Letterman tried that in the morning and it didn't work out. Howard said Conan's ratings are awful too and he's not sure where they could move him. Howard said Jay Leno was the one telling people it was a bad move for him to go to satellite. Howard said they seem to be doing just fine there. He said SIRIUS wants them back, NBC doesn't seem to want Jay back.
Howard asked Jon Hein when he thinks Leno will be taken off. Jon said he thinks by next fall he'll be gone. Jon said they have nothing to lose at this point and they've already bought the time. Jon said that NBC is the only one that's tanking and he wouldn't be surprised if they give him the Tonight Show back. Howard said even Letterman isn't doing all that great but Conan lost like 2 million viewers.
Howard said he thinks they should put Andy Richter back on the couch. Howard said they have a nice rapport so maybe that would help. Howard said Conan has that thing where he puts himself down and he wonders how much longer he's going to do that. Jon said he thinks that the show is so tarnished now that he's not sure what could help.
Steve got in a plug for Greg Fitzsimmons show that's on tonight at 7. His special guest is Mark McGrath. Jon Hein then ran down his list of subjects for today's Wrap Up Show. They ended up talking about Brian Phelan and how he went home and got into bed with his mother-in-law. Brian said he was drinking vodka and 7-Up and he just wanted to sleep when he got home. He said that he was tipping the waitresses there and they were chasing him down to give him more drinks. He said he had like 10 of the Vodka drinks and another bunch of shots. Howard said Brian is legendary for drinking. He said he heard about him getting kicked out of a horse track one time because he was so drunk.
Howard said people were pissed at Brian for ripping open people's shirts. Jason was one of the guys. He said that Jason doesn't have many shirts and now he's down by one because Brian ripped it open and the buttons went flying. Brian said he doesn't remember even doing that. He said he had a great time at that party.
Howard had Robin's date on the phone. That guy was saying that Ralph is the one who shouldn't be drinking. He was so drunk he put his jacket down somewhere and forgot where he put it. He said he had some friends with them and they were wondering who that guy was. Robin said Ralph almost got punched out because he was poking Brendan in the chest at the party. She said that if he had done that to a total stranger he would have gotten punched. Brendan said that he became friends with Brian Phelan and they hit it off right away. He said he's out of his mind too.
Jon ran down the rest of his Wrap Up Show preview after that. Howard moved on to Robin's news when he was done with that.
Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about that G-spot thing and trying to figure out why it would be such a hard thing to get to if it was real. Howard said if it was real then a woman should just cum as soon as you touch it.
Ralph called in and told Howard about the places they went to for drinks with Robin and Brendan. He said he put his jacket down and it got stolen. He said he also got stuck with the bill. Robin said he left and disappeared so how did he pay the bill. Ralph said he has the receipt. Howard asked why he can't pick up the tab. Robin said she didn't see the bill. Ralph said the girl came to him and asked who was paying. Ralph said he was trying to be a nice guy by paying.
Howard said Ralph should really go to a meeting because he drinks too much. Robin asked what happened on New Years Eve. Howard said he's done with that and he's not going to even talk about it. He said he's too upset about it. Howard said he's too upset to even bring it up on the air. Howard said he's still a friend but he needs to go to a meeting. Howard let him go a short time later.
Robin got back to her news and read about a new Michael Jackson song that came out. Howard played some of the song and said it was kind of creepy. He said that the guy sounds like a woman and that was really creepy. Howard said singing is kind of creeping to begin with and Jackson's voice made it even creepier.
Robin read a story about a NBA basketball player pulling a gun on another guy in a locker room after a game. Robin said that the guy had 3 guns in his locker. She wondered why anyone would have 3 guns in their locker.
Yucko the Clown called in and said that Ralph got wasted and started eating chicken fingers and stuff off another guy's plate at a strip club one time. He said that Ralph almost got his ass kicked that time. Yucko told him he has to tell them the story. Howard said he's really upset about it and he doesn't want to tell the story. Yucko said that Ralph was named after Ralph Cramden from the Honeymooners because he likes to have stuff crammed into his ass. Honk honk...
Robin got back to her news and read more about the basketball player who pulled the gun on the other player. She had a bunch of details about that. She also had some audio of the players talking about what happened. They were apparently betting with each other on stuff and one of the guys owed the other $60,000.
Robin read about Billy Joel's daughter Alexa Ray coming out and talking about her parents online. Robin said she came out and defended her mom on her Facebook page. Robin had some of Alexa Ray's music to play. Howard played some of that and said that he thinks he can straighten her out if he sat down and talked to her. He said he's going to track her down and tell her she's going to have a great life. He said that she'll be able to find plenty of dudes to fuck her. Howard said she should fuck tons of guys if she wants to. He said she doesn't need love. He said he'd tell her to fuck all of the friends of the guy who broke up with her too. He said that would fuck that dude up.
Robin read a story about how other countries are going to have new security measures in place for flights to the United States. She had some audio of some people complaining about the new security screening and how her baby was searched. Howard said that's a good thing. He said they coincided that with the search for the G-spot and found she didn't have one.
Robin read some news about the failed bombing attempt on Christmas day and how they're looking into the Obama administration and their security measures. Robin said they're looking into what they need to do to make us secure.
Robin read that they're trying to close gaping holes in airline security. She had some audio of Chuck Schumer talking about how they have to work on this to stop terrorists from getting through on these flights. Howard said he saw the picture of the guy's underwear that was the bomb and it looked like he may have shit his pants. Robin had more details about that story too.
Robin read some news about Tiger Woods and his wife. They're saying that she might be getting $300 million from Tiger. Robin said she's saying that Tiger put that in her stocking as a Christmas gift. Howard said if they have a pre-nup that doesn't mean that she's going to get this money. Robin said she's saying she already got it though. Howard said Tiger should be out having a party now that the cat is out of the bag.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to know if they're going to do a Losers reunion for the last year of his contract. Howard said of course he would. Howard said this guy is like Dane Spicoli. He sounded wasted. The guy told him to make some prank calls using the Christian Bale freak out audio clips. Sal said they did one but they never played it on the air. Sal said Richard was pulling it up for him to play. Howard said it sounds like they attempted it and he rejected it.
Howard played the call that they made. They called a towing place and had clips of Christian Bale yelling at the guys at the towing service. They were trying to get answers out of him but they just had Bale yelling at them. Howard said it kind of died. Robin said it didn't go anywhere. Howard said he knows they get upset when he rejects their stuff. Howard asked if anyone laughed. Fred said they did the best they could but it just didn't work. Howard said he knows what he's doing there and he doesn't want them to get resentful when he rejects something. They said they were fine with it. They have stuff in the works now that Howard will like. The caller said it wasn't so great too.
The caller suggested that they take the Ronnie clips where he screams and moans to make some prank calls. He said they could mix that in with the gay porn clips that Fred plays. Howard said maybe he should work there. He said it's not really Second City where they just yell stuff out.
Robin read a story about AT&T dropping Tiger Woods after all of the stuff came out about him cheating. Howard said he loves all of this stuff that's going on. He said he likes that he can't get AT&T so Tiger can't either. Howard said it's so much fun. Robin said they say so far Nike and Pepsi and Gatorade are all still sticking with him. Gillette pulled some ads for now but they're trying to hang in there.
Robin read about some Al Qaeda militants that were killed by Yemin armed forces. She said that they had connections to the guy who tired to bomb the plane around Christmas.
Robin talked about the Jets game that was played in Giants stadium over the weekend. She said that was the last game in the stadium. She said that the Jets won 37-0.
Robin read that CNN had to apologize for a Kathy Griffin moment during their New Year's Eve broadcast. Kathy used the F-word. Howard said they're on cable so they don't have to apologize for that. He said that they all pretend to be network broadcasters and they're not. He played the clip where Kathy used the F-word while she was messaging around with one of the other guys on the network. Howard said that sounded like a horrible broadcast. He said he's not even sure Kathy knew what she was talking about at the time.
Robin read about a hearing that's being held to talk about NFL head injuries and what they can do about it.
Robin had a story about the movie ''Avatar'' and how well it's done at the theaters so far. She said that she wasn't sure what it cost to make but it's made over a billion in ticket sales so far. Robin said it's doing very well and has made $352 million domestically already. Howard said the rest of the world seems to be doing even better than we do. Robin said that was the whole rest of the world that made up the rest of the billion. Howard said he wants to see it but he's not sure when he'll be able to do that. He said he wants to see it in 3D. Robin said he has to see it in 3D. She said that it's such a real thing you want to reach out and touch things. Robin said that the 3D glasses don't look very cool though. She said the movie is pretty long and you have to wear them the whole time.
Robin read some news about the census and that led to Gary talking about how he had a woman who wanted to come to his house to have a meeting about the census.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he thinks he knows what Ralph did. He said he thinks he grabbed Beth's ass. Howard said that's not it. He said he wasn't into making it into a bit on the show. Howard hung up on Jeff in the middle of a sentence. Howard said he was trying to say that he was trying to avoid turning Ralph's whole thing into a bit even though it would be good for the show. He said it wasn't a joke for him and it was serious. He said he knows Robin wants to know so maybe he'll talk to her off the air about it. He said he may end up talking about it on the air eventually. He said he's going to have a talk with Ralph about it off the air too.
Robin said she heard that Ralph had gotten really drunk that night. Howard said he had a lot of fun but other people weren't having fun. Robin said she was worried about him the night they went out and he just disappeared. Howard said he would have been fine with it if Ralph had just disappeared.
Robin got back to her news and read more about the census thing. She had some audio of this woman talking about the form that people need to fill out and how they're going to be sending people out to people's doors to get the information.
Robin read about some of the people who died in 2009. She read a list of names of people over some sad piano music. She read about David Carradine, Danny Gans, Paul Harvey, Don Hewitt, John Hughes, Jack Kemp, Ted Kennedy, Karl Malden, Al Martino, Steve McNair, Robert McNamera, Ricardo Montalban, Blue Iris, Brittany Murphy, Ken Ober, Les Paul, Natasha Richardson, Oral Roberts, Soupy Sales, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, Ron Silver, Gale Storm, Mary Allen Travers, Jett Travolta, John Opdyke, and James Whitmore. Howard said Jay Leno's TV career also died. They ended the show a short time later, right around 11:05am.
Jon said he doesn't think she acted appropriately at the party. Gary didn't think so either. Jon asked about Ronnie's behavior. Gary said he didn't think Ronnie did anything wrong. He said that it was this girl who jumped on him. Jon said he saw Benjy and his date there and they were very sweet. Then a couple of hours they were having a great time. Gary said she's like the girl who wears the lamp shade on her heads. Benjy said she didn't actually have one on though.
Gary said he can't trust Benjy to assess a situation. He said that he wouldn't have Benjy to his house with that girl. He said he doesn't dislike her, he just can't trust her. Benjy said he wouldn't come to his house without her. Gary said he can't come if he's not invited.
Jon said that Gary sounds hurt by the whole thing. Gary said he's not hurt but he's bothered that Benjy was saying that he knew this girl would behave at the party. Jon said he doesn't thinks he behaved appropriately but he understands why he wanted to bring her. Jon said he didn't invite Benjy to his daughter's Bat Mitzvah with a plus one. That was before he knew he was dating this girl but he hasn't been dating her that long either.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he feels bad for saying this but he thinks that Benjy is just an inappropriate person. He said he does things that are off the hook. He said he does embarrassing things and he's not sure why. The guy said that he didn't get why Benjy did the thing with Dice a couple of years ago and he's not sure why he does this other stuff. Gary said he doesn't think that Benjy was looking to be talked about at this party.
Gary said Benjy had one of the funniest lines of the day before the show. He said he walked in and asked ''Did anything interesting happen at the party?''
Jon said that there was something odd going on at the party. He told Gary to tell the story about Howard going around the room and not naming people as he went through them in the room. Gary said it was a lot of fun with Howard giving the speech but then he forgot to mention Tim Sabean so he went up and reminded him about Tim. Howard said he wheeled around and then blurted out his name. Jon said it was funny because he was like 30 feet away and heard Gary tell him Tim's name.
Jon said Sal did a great job hosting the karaoke thing. He said Sal did good with that but he was wondering why he was assigned the job of hosting it. Gary said he thinks that he's good in front of a crowd. Gary said that can be a risky thing giving him control like that. Gary said Sal has done some inappropriate things at other parties.
Jon said he was hearing that the theory was that it was damage control so he wouldn't do anything else wrong at the party. Gary said he could hear things going on with the karaoke and it really wasn't his thing.
Ronnie came in so Jon asked him about letting loose at the party. Ronnie said he had to get a lot of shit off his head so it was time for him to let loose.
Jon asked Ronnie if he thought Benjy's date acted appropriately at the party. Ronnie said it was very appropriate for that party. He said some of the other women there may have been upset about it but he thought it was fine. Ronnie said he heard from a few of that older crowd that women were upset. He said he didn't want to give any names though.
Gary said he thinks that Benjy likes the attention and the drama of the whole thing. Benjy said he does like drama. He said he didn't like some of the stuff that was going on before the party. He said there was a lot of tension. He didn't like what was going on with the calls to the Wrap Up Show and stuff like that either.
JD came in and said that his favorite part of Benjy and his date was her grabbing her vagina a lot. Gary said he didn't see that a lot but he wasn't really looking. JD said he also liked when it got so crazy that this girl's ass was in the air bent over a booth while Benjy looked like he was doing her from behind. Benjy said he wasn't trying to simulate that. Ronnie said he thought that there was some hanky panky going on. Benjy said there really wasn't.
Jon played a clip from the show where Howard talked about Benjy and his girl doing stuff and Benjy was denying it.
After the clip Benjy said he wouldn't finger anyone at a party like that. He said that she did have on a short dress but he wasn't trying to pull it up. JD said he didn't see any fingering but he did see her sitting on his lap. JD said there may have been some dry humping going on. Benjy said he wasn't doing that. Ronnie said he saw some rubbing going on.
Gary said he told the news department about the bizarre look that Benjy had on his face at a bachelor party one time and he had the same look at this party that he did back then. He said he had this weird look on his face that made him look like Charlie Brown. Benjy said he didn't remember that bachelor party thing. He said that one part he didn't remember.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they weren't being very clear about the party but the story he told about the bachelor party was funny. Benjy said that was from 10 years ago.
The guys were also talking about Robin's date and how she's keeping that quiet. Jon said that it almost begs for more of an investigation.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up Benjy's date again and how he managed to get her. Benjy said that they said hi when she was on the show but he didn't hit on her there. He found her on Facebook instead. Benjy said he doesn't hit on the guests when they're there. Gary said Benjy doesn't get any complaints about that kind of stuff either.
The guys talked about some of the karaoke songs they were singing at the party. JD was talking about the songs he did. He said he was feeling good at the party. He had 3 jack and cokes in the first hour so he didn't feel so good after that but a while later he was doing okay.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Benjy is the man. He said he thinks Gary was a little hard on Benjy because they were just trying to have a good time.
Another caller said that when Sarah (Benjy's date) was on the show she said she had big vagina lips. He asked if that's true. Ronnie said they were big and they all saw them there on the show. Gary wondered if they really had. Ronnie said he saw them. Benjy said she's a beautiful woman and they look fine. Ronnie said he didn't see them at the party but she does like rubbing them. The caller asked Benjy how his herpes were. Benjy said he doesn't have herpes and he's willing to bet the guy over it.
The guys were talking about how she's a nice girl and they shouldn't talk about her the way they do. He asked them to move along. Gary said he was sorry for saying anything bad about Mrs. Bronk.
Jon said that Sal and his wife Christine were nowhere near each other at the party. Gary said he gets the sense that Sal wants to be the center of attention and Christine doesn't look like she wants any part of that. Ronnie said he saw them outside that night and he asked if they were going to go home and do it and Christine ran away saying ''No way.'' He's not sure if that's an act they put on or what. Gary said it doesn't seem that way.
Jon asked JD if he saw anything weird or anything that stood out at the party. JD didn't remember anything but Ronnie brought up Brian Phelan ripping open Jason's shirt. He also ripped open Sal's shirt and Charlie from Howard TV's shirt too. They had to go to break after that.
Brian said that he remembered getting into bed with his mother-in-law naked. He said that was the first time that happened. Brian said he just went to sleep and she must have gone into another room. Brian said he doesn't know how he got to Penn Station and if anyone knows, please tell him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves the Wrap Up Show but he has one problem. He asked Gary why he was busting Benjy's balls. He said it's a company party and he can't be busting his balls about stuff like this. Gary said he just gave his opinion and he and Benjy disagreed. The caller said that this isn't the first time he's done this. He said Gary always has to be right.
The caller said that he thought he heard that Gary was going to take over Howard's show and he has no right doing that either. Gary said they talked about that for a few seconds but he knows he's not going to do that.
Jon moved on and brought up how quiet Robin was being today about her date. Benjy said that he thinks that she was being quiet maybe because of Jim Florentine. He said maybe she's worried about things falling apart like they did with Jim and Robin.
Jon said that Howard doesn't laugh that stuff off. Gary said there's no reason to laugh it off. Jon asked if he was surprised that Jackie was looking for more time on the air. Gary said they called it before the meeting even happened. He said they knew he was looking for more air time. Benjy said it sounds like it's working out in Jackie's favor because Howard gave him the okay to do more shows if he can get them.
Gary said it's odd that Jackie is looking to take his show somewhere else after Howard gave him a break and let him do the show on his channel.
Jon said they also missed JD's birthday during break. JD talked about that and said he got a bunch of birthday wishes on Facebook. He said it's always nice when it's a hot chick that does that. The guys asked JD if all of the depression and stuff was coming from him turning 30. JD said he's not sure about that.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up the History of Howard Stern and how great he songs are that they play in the background during the segments. Gary said they were great. The caller said the most annoying part about this latest act is Jackie being interviewed. He said he was so annoying and irritating and he was making it seem like it was all about him and going overboard with his laughter. He said it was grating on his nerves. Gary said he got some email from people who were complaining about Jackie taking credit for everything.
Jon said he loved the Billy West stuff during the special. Gary said the History was great with Billy and some of the segments they replayed.
Jon asked the guys about what they think Ralph could have done at Howard's place that upset Howard so much. Gary said he was thinking that he may have upset a woman at his place and it may not have been Beth. The guys talked about how Howard thinks Ralph needs to get help for his drinking. They spent a few seconds on that before they had to end the show.
Howard started the show talking about how he was watching Mel Karmazin on Charlie Rose. He said Mel was saying some nice things about him on the show and it inspired him. He said he's not sure what inspiration he had because it's not leading to anything. He said it was nice to hear those nice things though.
Howard said that he wanted to start in with many things this morning. He said the Sarah Palin audio book came out and Sal and Richard had a field day with the clips. He said they pulled some excerpts for him. He played the edited clips where they had her talking about eating Senator John McCain's balls and wacky things like that. They edited her to say she got crabs from Senator Ted Stevens. They also had her saying that John McCain's balls smell like horse shit. Howard played clip after clip of her saying she didn't like black people and that Jews were worthless. They also edited her clips to say that she went to a scat party. That clip went on and on for a good few minutes.
Howard said he wasn't going to buy that book but now he will. He said that was pretty sexually perverse. He told Sal and Richard to come in and take a bow for their work. Howard said he's not even sure how they do this. Richard told Howard where they got ''cunt'' and ''fuck'' from by using other words. Richard said it took most of the vacation to get the work done on those clips. Richard said the longest part of the book is pulling almost every word. He said he's an expert on Sarah Palin now that he's heard the whole book.
Robin asked Richard how he did the work and had him sharing his secrets about pulling every word. Howard replayed some of those clips. He asked Richard if any of them were real. Richard said unfortunately they're not. Howard thanked him for the good work on that stuff.
Gary said that Pete finds a way to get in the wall all the time that he's there. Now he's only working Monday and Thursdays and he's helping him out with stuff instead of helping Scott out. Howard said there was no one working on the equipment with Scott today. Howard asked what was up with that. Scott the Engineer said the intern walked out.
Sal came in and said that Pete is creepy. He said he comes in and just stares at them in their office. Howard asked if he minds that. Sal said he just turns and starts doing stuff. He said Pete will just stand there. He said Pete also takes stuff and forgets where he puts them. He said that he'll come in and put something in the studio and forget it. He said Pete will tell Scott that someone stole stuff and Ronnie will have to look over security tapes to find out who did it. Then they'll find it in their office.
Howard heard that Pete wants to make his own t-shirts. Sal said he does want to do that and he has his own web site. Pete isn't even on the web but this guy made him a web page. He said it just brings you right to his Facebook page if you go to MedicatedPete.com. Sal said he's been helping him out getting that all set up. Howard said Pete has 719 fans already. Howard said that's a cool, cheap way to make a web page. Sal said he does the same thing.
Howard said he should do that with his page too. Sal told him he should because you don't have to do anything and it's free. Howard told the guys to make that happen.
Howard heard Pete is in contact with Beetlejuice's booking agent too. He said he's trying to make some appearances. Sal said he's opened up for Shuli a couple of times but he doesn't have any material. He said he's told Pete he needs to come up with some stuff but Pete doesn't know how to do that. He said he's tried to help him but he can't remember anything.
Will Murray came in and said that Pete told him that he kissed a girl on New Years because she was too drunk to push him away. Howard said that sounds almost criminal. He then played the prank call Sal and Richard made using some Medicated Pete audio clips.
Howard said he voted for Kevin Bacon in a TV role. Howard said he hasn't seen Kevin in a while but he had him to his house once. Howard talked about that party and about some of the people who were there.
Howard said he watched the Kennedy Center Honors show with Bruce Springsteen. He said Bruce was laughing way too hard at some of the stuff Jon Stewart was saying and he was laughing way too hard. He said it was a pretty cool show. Howard said he had it on DVD recorded but it locked up and he never got to see the second half. Howard said technology blows. Gary asked if he saw the Mel Brooks segment on that special. Howard said he did see that. They were doing some very odd stuff with a swastika in that segment.
Howard said he read something in the Daily News today that was really fucked up. Howard said this writer was talking about going into Afghanistan early on after 9/11 and they had Osama bin Laden cornered. He said that Bush and Cheney made the decision to use local warlords to go in and grab bin Laden. That's how he got away. Howard said the military wanted to know why they did that and they thought that the warlords weren't even that good at that kind of stuff.
Howard said he hates that Cheney is opening up his fat mouth and commenting on Obama's plans. He said that they need to get our troops out of there now and he's not thrilled that Obama sent more troops over there. He said everything is fucked up right now and everything blows.
Howard said he sent in his ballot for the SAG Awards. He said he voted for Michael C Hall in Dexter but he's never even seen the show. Robin thanked him for the vote because the show really is great. Howard said he didn't know anyone else and heard the show was good. He voted for Julianna Margulies, Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey, Heroes and some other things. He said he doesn't even watch Heroes anymore because they've made it suck.
Howard said this guy Brit Hume is a real asshole. He said he used to be a real news guy but now he's saying that Tiger Woods has to become a Christian to be forgiven by Jesus Christ. Howard said Tiger is a Buddhist and Hume was saying that the religion doesn't offer forgiveness like the Christian religion does. Howard said he found that to be weird. He said it seems that Brit Hume was forced into doing that kind of thing. He said he must see these other conservative guys doing well and thinking that's the kind of show he has to do. Howard said that Glenn Beck is one of those guys he probably sees.
Howard brought up the guy who had the bomb in his underpants. He said ever since he did that they've been cracking down on security and they detained Joan Rivers when she was trying to come back to the country. Howard said they thought that there was some kind of alias with her and she missed her plane. Howard said that Joan Rivers Rosenberg isn't going to bomb a plane. Howard said that's just dumb.
Johnny said he was framed with the conspiracy charge. He said that he was sentenced to 5 years but he got out after 11 days. He said that was the last thing the judge did before he retired.
Johnny told Howard that he wants to warn him again about getting Beth pregnant. Howard said Beth wanted to bang without a rubber and he said ''no way.'' Johnny said this is the fucking beginning. He told Howard that his baby has grown in his vampire teeth on the top and that's all there are in there. He said it's like being in True Blood around there.
Howard said Johnny has some older kids already and now he has this baby. Howard said Johnny married the young girl and she wanted kids. Johnny said all she wanted was a dog. He said then she wanted the baby. He said that's why he's warning Howard about this stuff. Johnny said he's a weak man and that's how he ended up in this situation. Howard asked why she didn't get an abortion. Johnny said that she said she couldn't do it all of a sudden.
Johnny said the 7 year old is fine as a 7 year old can be. Johnny said every bone in his body aches now. He said he walks and runs and he's in pain. He said the vampire kid is hiding from them and waiting in the shadows. Johnny said he's 55 years old so he can relate to Howard. Howard said this probably isn't his last wife and he may end up with another one.
Johnny said that he's been so stressed out lately. He said he's been at the strip clubs lately. Howard said he gives him another 2 years with this wife and he'll be with another one. Howard thanked Johnny for calling in.
Johnny said they're throwing a party at this strip club and he needs Eric there but Eric won't do it. He it's something that would be good for Eric but he won't do it. Howard told Johnny that's his problem. He said Eric heard this so maybe he'll do it now.
Howard let Johnny go and said that you can't be raising a kid at 55 years old. He said that's the time you should be with yourself and just enjoying life. Howard said he's got his hands full with the job now and he's not looking for more stress. He told Beth right up front that he didn't want any kids.
Howard said everything is getting complicated. Robin said that her one cat Kelly died over vacation. Robin said she didn't go away because the cat was sick. She said he died right at the start of the vacation and she had no plans. Howard said he doesn't want complications. He said he's got the dog and he's into that but it's enough. Howard said Beth wants a bunch of animals.
Howard said he doesn't want the cat and maybe he should give the name of the cat so someone else will adopt it. Howard said they're just taking one cat right now but it sounds like they might end up with 2. Howard said Gary has cats and they wake him up in the middle of the night. Gary said the cats weren't his idea and his wife wanted 2. He said he loves the cats now that he has them.
Howard said he has a whole thing with the pets and he doesn't want to touch them. Gary said the cats walk on the island in the kitchen and stuff so that's kind of annoying. Howard said he's afraid that Beth is going to go off the deep end and he'll end up like the chimp lady getting his face ripped off.
Gary said he had the whole clan in bed last night. Howard said Gary likes that kind of stuff though. Howard said he doesn't. Howard said it's great that he can do that because he's like Leave it to Beaver's dad. Howard said he wants to be holed up alone in a room by himself. Gary told him he'll dig the cats, they can be cool. Gary said they stopped swinging from the blinds eventually.
Howard said he doesn't want to spend time training a cat not to scratch stuff. He said this one is declawed already. He said that they wouldn't declaw one if they got one that wasn't. He said that he wouldn't want to have to train it though.
Howard said he's learned that he's a fuck up and these relationships aren't about just yourself. Howard said you have to learn to take it up the ass once in a while. Robin said Howard is going to get attached to the cat more than Beth. Howard said she's probably right. Howard said the dog spends the whole weekend with him so Beth wanted something to be with. Howard said the dog likes him and Beth is always playing with her but the dog still likes him better. He said they'll see what happens.
Howard said he's into the whole animal thing. Robin said that she woke up this morning with a cat curled up in her arm. She said it was very cute.
Robin talked about how she had to have her cat put to sleep. She said she spent a lot of time with the cat crying and then she had them put the cat to sleep. She said she had no idea it was going to happen that day and it really upset her. Robin said she called some friends and asked their advice. She said she spoke to Annemarie about it because she's a big cat person too. Howard asked who else she called. Robin said she called Brendan and Annemarie and that was it. Howard said that sounds like a list he should be on. Fred did his Jim Florentine impression and said he didn't hear from her either.
Robin said she watched the cat breathing heavy and said she was ready. She said they put the cat on the table with her so the cat could look at her. She said it took a long time for the cat to die because his heart was beating so slowly. Robin said she sat there with the cat dead for a long time. She said that she could have sat there all day.
Howard said he's never had to put a pet to sleep. He said he's not looking forward to doing anything like that. Fred said he's had to do it a couple of times. He said it's tough but he doesn't cry. Howard said he knows he would cry. Robin said she got flowers and got calls from the vet.
Fred said it was tough watching his dog die. He said you don't believe it's happening and then all of a sudden they tell you that the dog is gone. He said that the one dog was small and they had a hard time finding a vein so they had to stab it a few times. Howard asked if he took it on a final walk. Fred said he knew the dog was going to be put down and the final walk was into the Vet's office. Fred said that one was the tough one because the dog was having a tough time living.
Howard said he dreads the day he has to put Fred to sleep. Howard said when it comes time he's going to have to do it. Fred said they went through two years of tests with the dog and they were doing damage with the things they were doing to test. Howard told Fred not to stand against a wall and whine because he'll put him to sleep. Fred said there was more to it than that.
Howard said that's tough. Fred said the second dog was having spasms and stuff and that was another tough one. The dog had nasal cancer and it may have spread to the brain so it wasn't good. Howard said that was too much detail. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he was listening to Rush Limbaugh tapes from when he was known as ''Jeff Christy.'' He said that's a douchy thing to do. Howard said he was a failed top 40 announcer. He said he was listening to one of his bits where he was trying to make a prank call and it was bad. He played some of that audio where Rush was in a small market in Pennsylvania as this Jeff Christy character. Howard talked about how the guy is so self loathing that he probably didn't want to use his real name. He said Rush Limbaugh is a kind of cool radio name.
Howard played the audio of Rush, or Jeff, doing his thing coming out of a song. Jeff was giving a weather report and talking about the snow they had and talking about the roads being cleared up. He went into another song like a lame top 40 DJ. Howard goofed on him talking about the Jeff Christy network and his fake laugh. Howard said ''what a dick wad'' after hearing the clip.
Howard played a second clip where Jeff Christy was talking about being a bachelor. Howard said he's a fat blimp so of course he was a bachelor. He said they were playing awful music on that station too. In the clip Rush was talking about being a bachelor and how he lives in an apartment with a lamp and a TV set. Howard said it's fine to hear him living in an apartment like that. He said it bums him out when he hears he's living in a huge house in Palm Beach.
In the clip Rush played a prank call he made to the local power company and asked him how much it would cost to put 15-20,000 heat lamps in an orchard for palm trees. It was a lame bit that he interrupted with another song. Howard said he was doing all of these lame bits. He said someone like Pig Virus would have liked the show being run the way this guy was doing it. Howard said Pig Virus would have loved it.
Howard played more of the clip where Rush, or Jeff, comes out of the song and gets back to his lame prank call. Howard said he thinks it was worth sitting through that song to get the rest of the call. The power guy told Rush about how it was going to cost him about $3,000 a day for the lamps he wanted. The bit didn't go anywhere. Howard did an impression of that lame bit and came up with another one where he would call a yarn company and ask for a million yards of yarn. Howard said it was going to be a fuckin' riot when they picked up and told him about what it was going to cost.
Howard said he could have given the Z-100 morning zoo a run for their money with that bit. He said he liked when he came back from the song and wondered if the ''local yokel'' was back on the phone. Howard said he thought they were done with him when he had chest pains in Hawaii. Robin said the funny thing was that he was on vacation having those chest pains.
Howard played another awful Jeff Christy clip where he was giving another weather forecast. Howard said he must have been a morning guy because they get to do the bits. Howard goofed on his lame DJ voice as he was playing the clip. In that clip Howard said it doesn't matter what you say in top 40 radio. It's all in the way you way it.
Howard played clip after clip of Rush doing his thing as Jeff Christy. In one clip Jeff said that he was often imitated and often copied. Robin said he still uses that phrase as Rush Limbaugh to this day. Howard said some things you just don't give up. Howard said he'd had enough by that point. He was going to give up but played even more of the awful clips. Howard said Rush doesn't seem to be able to hit the post when he's introducing songs. Howard and Fred did their impressions of him doing his thing and goofed on him for a few minutes.
Howard said he wished that his career had ended as a top 40 DJ before he became Rush Limbaugh. Howard said maybe there were other guys in his market who were imitating him.
Lisa said that some pictures of Benjy and his girlfriend have shown up on the web. She said that they've been posted on the web by Benjy's girlfriend. Benjy said he gave her permission to put them up. Benjy wasn't sure who took the pictures but Howard said no one cares. Lisa said that Benjy was posing and he had to know his eyes would be shut. Benjy said that there was a flash on the camera. Howard cut them off and said he didn't want the show being hijacked.
Lisa said that they have a story about JD making his move on the female front. She said that he gave the SIRIUS receptionist a Christmas card with his number on it. She said that the receptionist told them what the card had in it. JD came into the studio and said that it was a joke. Howard said that's not a joke. JD said he took the chance giving her the number but he knows she's got a boyfriend. Howard said he must have gotten all charged up after seeing Benjy's latest conquest. JD said she never did call. She was also the only one who got his number as a gift this holiday season.
The guys goofed on JD about that whole thing for a short time. Howard and Fred were doing their JD impressions and goofing on him for a couple of minutes. JD said ''Fuck you'' to them. Howard told him he can't talk to him like that, he's his boss.
Lisa said that the receptionist is ready to re-gift that present. Howard said JD should be careful because he thinks that the boyfriend is black. Lisa said she was talking to her and it doesn't sound like she's with anyone. Howard figured that she must have told JD that she was dating someone to blow him off. Howard asked Lisa if she would date JD. She said she wouldn't but he's a very nice person. She said that JD has great hands and skin like a baby. She thought Howard's hands were the same but Howard said Beth doesn't like his hands because they're rough from working out.
Lisa said Bubba the Love Sponge was on TNA wrestling last night on Spike TV. Howard said he heard about that and forgot to watch. He said Bubba was a guest interviewer on the show. Howard said Bubba was acting along with the bad acting wrestlers and it was pretty funny. Howard played some of the audio of Bubba talking about all of the guys who were injured on the show and he seemed to know them all. Robin said it's all fake and they're all acting. She was talking about Hulk Hogan turning into Mickey Rourke's character from ''The Wrestler.'' She said that he was on the floor covered in blood when she saw him recently.
Howard played some more audio of Bubba talking to the guys in the back room and giving people updates on the attacks and how they didn't know who did the attack but they had an idea. JD said that they were doing some kind of bit with the other wrestlers. He didn't explain it very well so Howard had to play the audio.
Howard was going to get to that but ended up talking to JD about the receptionist. JD explained how the whole card thing came up and how she had yelled at him for not thanking her for holding the door for him one day. JD said he apologized and told her he'd get her a card for Christmas. That's why he got her the card. Howard asked JD if he knew he had nice hands. JD said he actually scratches his hands because of a nervous thing he does. Howard said he could be Thing from the Addams Family. He said he needs a web site called Handbook instead of Facebook.
Howard got back to the clips of Bubba back stage at the wrestling thing. Bubba was talking to the guys and doing bits with them. JD said he thinks he's going to be a new interviewer guy with them. Howard said he did a good job.
Lisa said there's a big controversy over that. She said that Bubba was supposed to give 1500 tickets to his fans and when they showed up they found out the tickets were fake. Bubba got spit on and yelled at by the fans. Bubba had to apologize for what happened. Howard said it doesn't sound like it was his fault. Lisa said they have a call into Bubba to find out what went wrong.
Howard said there are these assholes out there who think they can cure people of homosexuality. He said they're laughed at by people in this country but in Uganda they had a bunch of them come to a meeting and they ended up passing a law that basically says they can kill you if you are a homosexuality. Howard said they went over there and made a speech and they interpreted it in a way that they're going to kill people over it now. Howard said the evangelical's are laughed at in this country. He said that they listened to these assholes for 3 days in Uganda and how they want to kill the homosexuals.
Howard read the article about that and said that they hang homosexuals when they're caught having sex. Howard said ''way to go'' to these idiots that went over there talking about homosexuals. Howard said you think our country is backwards but that's really backwards.
Howard said Sal's father went into the hospital for a quadruple bypass and his father thought he saw Jesus when he was unconscious. Sal told Howard that they gave him some medicine or something and they only let 2 people in the room at the same time. Sal said he was in the room with his father and sister and his father said he thought he saw Jesus. He said he thought he was kind of dark. Sal said his father said he was very tan. Sal said he heard that and his sister believed it. Sal went into the lobby and his uncle Jimmy was out there. Sal said he decided to play a joke on Jimmy because he's kind of racists. Sal said he told Jimmy that his dad said that Jesus was black and had a wide nose and an afro. Sal said Jimmy said ''that wasn't Jesus, that was the devil.'' Sal said he never did tell him that he was just joking so he still believed it was going on.
Sal said Jimmy went into the room and told his father that it was the devil and they ended up arguing about the whole thing. He said Jimmy came out and got all pissed that he was pulling pranks on him while his father was so sick. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and listened to that song talking about how goofy it was. He said that there's one Lady Gaga song where she says ''gaga'' in the beginning of the song. They goofed on that a little bit while the Ke$ha song was playing. Fred played the Lady Gaga song too. Howard goofed on that a bit too.
Howard talked about an interview that he saw Lady Gaga do. Howard said he wants to know what her real name is so they can stop calling her Lady Gaga. Howard said her real name is Stephanie. He said he's going to call her that from now on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Sal and Richard are one trick ponies and they can't do anything but phony phone calls. He said he sued to do that at 8. Howard said that's like saying that Lady Gaga only sings. The guy said that he wishes she'd drop dead. He went on to say that he loved the Dick Clark stuff he was doing yesterday. Howard said he was laughing in the car listening to it too. He said he was laughing at his own show and found that to be weird. He said Ronnie thought it was normal.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel was over at his house over vacation. He said he was there for 3 days and he thinks that Jimmy thinks he's boring. He said he was with him on New Year's Eve. He said that Jimmy has people over to his house over the weekends and he seems to love people. Howard said he wishes he could be more like that but he can't. Howard said that Jimmy is into people and socializing. He said Gary loves doing that too. Howard said he just can't be like that. He'd rather be in a room by himself playing chess on the computer.
Howard said the best day on vacation was the day he played chess online and won against this really good chess player. Howard said he really likes this guy. He said that's the kind of people he wants to hang out with.
Howard said he hung out with Rob Zombie over vacation too. He said Rob is a good guy too. Robin said she wants to know why he wants to look the way he does. Howard said that's his look. Robin said he's in that look all the time and you can't not notice him. Howard said that's the way a man should look. He said he's got all of those tattoos and stuff.
Howard said he and Rob Zombie were watching Munsters shows and Rob is even more into them than he was. Howard said they just watched TV the whole time and it was great. He said they watched like 7 episodes in a row. He said they watched one episode called the Zombo episode. He explained what some of the episodes were like and how they had Dom Deluise in one episode. He gave a quick rundown of a few of them.
Robin said she watched the Twilight Zone episodes on SyFy over vacation. She said those were great shows. Howard said he liked those shows too. Howard and Robin talked about some of their favorite episodes. Robin said she saw one where Robert Redford was deaf. She hadn't seen that one in a long time.
Howard said Rob picked out Eddie Munster mouthing the words that other actors were saying in one scene. He said Rob has seen each episode at least 17 times. Howard said Rob came up with that look of his to get chicks and it worked for him.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel watched some of the Munsters too but he could tell he wasn't into it as much as he and Rob were. Howard said they ate lunch and ran back down to watch more and Jimmy stayed upstairs while he and Rob were watching them. Robin asked if they watched any games on TV. Howard said he wouldn't even know what was on. He's not into that.
Gary said that if you try to say something funny they goof on the people. If the celebrities don't talk they goof on them. You can't win with them at all. Gary said the blonde guy on the show is like their KC. They're doing a pitch meeting when they're showing these clips. Gary goofed on the blonde guy and how goofy they all are.
Gary and Howard spent a minute talking about the TMZ show and how they seem to like Howard or maybe they're just afraid of him. Howard said that he will find out about them and fuck with them if they fuck with him. Gary said they scare him so he's not trying to get them on his bad side.
JD came in and said he wants to kill everyone on that show because they all think they're so funny and they're not funny at all. Howard said they seemed pleased with the beauty pageant. He played some audio from last night's show where they commented on the pageant. They were talking about the sponsor Howard got and how they were waiting for the mistresses to call the show. They seemed to like the idea of the pageant.
Howard said that they have a $100,000 prize for the winner of the pageant and Gary is trying to get some of the girls lined up to do the show. Howard said he wants to thank AshleyMadison.com for putting up the money for the pageant. Howard said he told the guy who runs the company that he can be a judge. Natalie Maines wants to be a judge too. Howard said he's all for that. Gary said maybe they can have Fred write a song for her.
Howard said they have one girl who claims that she was Tiger Woods' dominatrix. Gary said he forwarded her to TMZ so they can vet her out.
Howard said people have been writing in about Artie and read through some of those. Howard said as far as he knows Artie hasn't quit. He read some of the comments people were making and there was a lot of positive stuff. There were a couple of people who said they're glad he's not on the show. Howard said that's the kind of stuff he was reading on SFN.
Howard read some mail they got about Jackie working his way into the show again. Howard read that some people don't want him being on the show at all. There were people saying Jackie is a hack and laughing at his own jokes is lame. There were people telling him to get Jackie off the channel.
Howard had some feedback about SFN. There were people writing in about the wolves on SFN and how they're just haters. Howard read through a few of those comments and one person was calling it ''SternFagNetwork.'' Howard said that the people on there are such nothings that they're even jealous of JD.
Howard read one where a writer said that they joined SFN when Howard went to satellite to keep up with the show. They now see that it's just full of haters. Howard said he got some love in the email.
Howard said some people agreed with him about Charlie Sheen and what he was saying about him yesterday. He said he had a few of those emails.
Howard said that one of the things disturbing him was not castrating child molesters. He said he got some email about that. Some people were saying that castration can just anger the molesters and they go out and do even more violent crimes. Howard said this guy suggested execution of these people instead.
Howard read one email about the History of Howard Stern where they wondered if Judith Regan really though he was gay. Howard said that he didn't hear that part but he thinks that she was kidding if she actually said that. Howard said when it comes to women he's heterosexual. He said he's not gay and he would tell people if he was.
Robin asked if Howard is watching The Bachelor. Howard said he saw the first couple of episodes already. He said that it will get better than the first one. Howard said it's very interesting.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the History of Howard Stern was as good as a live show. Howard said he didn't get any negative stuff about the special, just individual things like Jackie. He said it was a great special. The caller agreed. The guy asked if he saw any of the Three Stooges marathon that ran over vacation. Howard said he didn't see any of that. He said he's got dismal thoughts about this movie they're making but he's hoping he's wrong. Howard said he's looking forward to Benicio Del Toro's werewolf movie that's coming out though.
Howard said he has like 50 billion questions for her. He wants to know details about what she did and how she got into that position. He said he's really interested in finding out about her. He said he has no desire to upset her. He said if she doesn't like his line of questioning then she can walk out.
Howard said they had a guy on the show who said Ashley has the nicest looking vagina he's ever seen. Howard wondered if she would show it to them. Gary said that's the kind of stuff she's probably afraid of. Howard said that she doesn't have to do it. She can just say no. Gary said they'll try to get her in there next week. Howard said they're way cool and they give prostitution a good name. He said Artie went to tons of prostitutes. He said it kept him sane.
Howard said he felt really good about this when he heard Mel talking about him. He played more of the audio where Mel talked about Howard's move to satellite and why he thinks he did it. Mel said Howard negotiated a great deal with SIRIUS and it worked out well for them. Howard said he's going to have Mel negotiate for him when he tires to make a new deal. He said he'll be arguing with himself.
In the clip Mel was talking about how influential Howard is and Howard cut it off and asked why they care so much if he's influential. Howard said He doesn't care if only 2 people are listening to him. Howard said they constantly make people the number one search on google trends when they come in. He said he doesn't get why people are so worried about him being influential anymore. Howard said he may not be as influential as far as the number of listeners he has but he has people paying to hear his show. Howard said he doesn't worry about being influential or not. He said it's so much better being there at satellite than it was on terrestrial. Howard said people still listen and Robin said people still come on the show and want to do it.
Mel Karmazin was talking about Howard being free to do the kind of program he wanted to do. Mel was also saying that they will be trying to negotiate a new deal with Howard. He said he hopes he can figure out a way to keep him. Mel said that they've worked on deals many times in the past and they've all made a lot of money with Howard. Mel said he'd like to continue to do business with him.
Howard said he almost sucked his own dick at that point. He said Mel was being so great to him. Howard said Mel was asked what Howard's genius was and Mel had an answer.
Howard talked about what a great guy Charlie Rose is. Howard said he's a ladies man too. Howard said they went to a party at his house and he had the place filled with hot chicks. Howard said he was the man. He's not sure what he's like now but back in the day he was the man. He said he's seen him in action and seen some chicks turn him down.
Howard played more of the audio where Mel was talking about the genius of Howard Stern. Mel was talking about the way Howard asks questions that nobody else will ask. Mel said there are people who like how direct he is. He said Howard does 4-5 hours of live radio every day and most comedians only have an hour they do over and over again. He said Howard is very unique. Charlie Rose threw Imus' name in there too. Howard said that ruined the whole thing. He had to throw Imus in there.
Howard said Imus doesn't get any ratings and he doesn't have the talent he does. Howard played more of the audio of Mel talking about Imus and how he wouldn't hire Imus to come to satellite because he wouldn't bring the kind of audience that would pay for the kind of money he would want. Howard said he knows that Imus couldn't bring any listeners. He said Mel could have grabbed him and brought him on but he was too smart for that. Howard said there aren't any people who would pay for that awful show.
Howard said that was a great moment except for the Imus part. Howard said he will negotiate with Mel by giving him a tape of the Charlie Rose show. Howard said Charlie Rose sits on the board for Citadel which does the Imus show. That wasn't disclosed in the interview. Howard said he thinks he's right about that. Jason told Howard that Charlie was on the board until 2009. Howard said he knows what he's talking about, he's not stupid.
Howard played the clip and the guy being accused was apologizing for what he did. The judge then went off on him and started yelling at him about how she'd be happy to see him in jail through the whole sentence.
Howard said he liked that. He said she sounds like his mom yelling at him. Howard said his mother would yell at him and make him almost shit his pants.
Howard said he once had a girl over to the house. He said her name was Rita. Howard said his mom got mad at him for leaving a t-shirt on the bed and she went off on him in front of Rita. Howard said that ruined it for him and Rita. Not that he had a chance with her but still. He said that she was Dr. Lou's girlfriend at the time. He said he asked her to please kiss him but she refused. He said he was like 14 or 15 at the time. He didn't know any better. He said he was hardly a man so he didn't have any ''man code'' to go by. He said he told Lou about it and he let him know that he tried to get her to kiss him.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that her daughter was abducted and she likes what Howard is saying. She said they found their daughter alive. She said that she chased after the guy who abducted her and they ended up arresting the guy. The judge was pretty tough and found that he shouldn't be around women and females but he only got 18 months in jail. She said he's on the Megan's Law web site but he's still out there. Howard said that 18 months isn't going to do anything. Howard said he's going to get out and probably go after young girls again. Howard said they should cut the guy's penis off. Howard said if his penis was gone then there would be no reason for him to abduct anyone.
The caller said that her daughter was 4 at the time and she's 13 now. She said that there is no cure for this man and he's not supposed to be around females at all. She said she's a huge fan of the show and she likes what Howard is saying. She said that it's so simple to figure out and she loves that Howard is pushing for this. She said these people can not be cured at all and something has to be done.
Howard played the caller a Sarah Palin clip where she talks about getting crabs. He said he figured that would cheer her up. She said it did.
Howard said they do have to do something with these child molesters. He said castration is one option he's all for. He said they should cut their penis off and their balls off. Howard let the caller go and played some more of the edited Sarah Palin audio clips. He said he'd actually buy the book if it was like these clips Richard edited together.
Howard said it might be time to play a game. Robin said Howard wasn't going to do that with callers anymore. The caller asked Robin not to ruin his fun.
Gary brought in the racist CD but not the game. Howard thought he was going to bring both in at the same time. The caller did one of the Baba Booey songs so Fred played that for the guy.
Howard said that they got this racist CD called ''Racist Redneck Rebels'' and he wondered where it came from. The packaging looked professional. He said it was from Mice Trap Records in New Jersey. Howard played one of the songs where the guy was singing about nig*ers in each song. Gary said the music sounded like something Jackie would play. Howard said this guy just wasn't doing it for him. He didn't like that he wasn't getting right to the N-word right away.
Howard wanted to get right to the game. The caller asked why no one has done a Baba Booey song parody to the National Anthem. Howard said they must be too respectful to do something like that.
Howard moved on to the game and played a question they asked a homeless person. Howard said that the caller had to get 3 out of 5 right guessing if the homeless person would get it right.
In the clip we heard Sal asking a woman about her education. She said she was a lawyer, doctor and a nurse. He asked her where Cleopatra was from and she said ''Egypt.'' Howard said the CD wasn't set up right so Scott the Engineer had to come in and fix the CD player for him.
Howard played the next question and that one was ''What is 50 percent of 500?'' and the homeless woman said ''50 dollars.'' Howard wasn't able to control the game so he said he was just going to give the caller the money. He said the game wasn't working so he had to bail out on it. The guy got $711 from 7-Eleven.
Howard asked Scott what was going on. Scott said it was set right but it wasn't working. Howard asked what he's supposed to do. Scott said he can yell at him and he'll try to figure it out. Scott said that they test the CD players all the time and they usually work. Howard asked if he could put it in CD player 1. Scott said that might work. He wasn't giving him any guarantees though.
Howard tried it in CD player 1 and it worked fine. He said he's not sure what else he can do to motivate Scott to do his job. Scott said he'll look into it after the show. Howard said that's a big help, after the show.
Howard said he heard from Medicated Pete that Scott trashes him all the time. Howard said there's a dialog going on under the show all the time.
Howard played the Homeless Game with Robin instead. Here are the questions and the homeless woman's answers:
Howard decided to save the rest for another game some day. Howard said he had to take a break but mentioned some of the guests they had coming up soon like Dr. Drew and Curtis Sliwa. Robin said she thought that Curtis was bad mouthing them for a while. Howard said he didn't think that was the case. James Cameron, Bill Shatner and Ozzy will be coming in soon too. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that he thought Mick Jagger sang ''You can make a grown man cum'' in the song. Fred said it's at the end of the song and he's still not sure how they got away with that. Howard said maybe it's because you can't understand what he's saying. Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about High Pitch Eric. He said that new details have come out about his estrangement from his family. They have a copy of his mother's last will and testament where she says that she has disinherited Eric from her will. Steve said they have fans who help them all the time. Howard said he might have to interview Eric about that. Howard said this man has gone from super stardom to this.
Steve said the brother-in-law is the one who ordered Eric out of the apartment on the even of a snow storm a couple of weeks ago. Howard wondered how the fans get a hold of the will. Benjy said that all wills are public record. Howard didn't know that. Benjy said he's not sure if it's when it's filed or when it's read. Robin said she reads them in the paper after celebrities die.
Howard said it was interesting that Eric's mother didn't reveal what the reasons were for taking him out of the will. He said he'd like to know what those reasons were. He said that was nice of her not to get into it. He said maybe she knew it would be public record.
Steve said maybe Eric is going to contest this somehow. Howard said he has an apartment he could get. Eric is homeless right now so he doesn't have anything. Steve said Eric isn't talking to him right now. Howard told Gary to get Eric to call in.
Steve said that Jonah Falcon is out of work and he's staying with his mother right now. He won't do porn even though he's rumored to have a 13 inch penis. Steve said that Gary is on the cover of a magazine called ''Game Room'' where they show his Man Cave and the new pinball machine he has in there. Howard said Gary seems to do any interview they ask him to. It's always about his game room or his electronics. They have 21 photos of the room in there. Gary said it's a pinball magazine but 21 pictures was a lot. He said he didn't get anything free for this whole thing. Gary said this guy helped him track down that machine because it was one he played as a kid.
Gary's IM was going off with special sounds so Howard told him he has to get rid of that. Gary said that goes on all day long.
Gary said the pinball machine was like $800 and they can go up to like 5 grand. He said it was pretty cheap. Gary said the article was long too.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap UP Show preview. He ran down the list of stuff they were going to be talking about today. He mentioned Fred not crying when he had his pets put to sleep so they ended up talking about that for a short time. That led to Fred talking about how he hasn't seen his biological father since 1975. He said he's been waiting for an obituary to float by him so he can laugh. Fred said his father never wanted to hang out with him so he wouldn't introduce him to his granddaughter. Howard said he doesn't blame him. He said Fred's step father was a good dude. Fred said he was a prince. He said he cried like a baby at his funeral.
High Pitch Eric called in so Howard asked him about the will thing. Howard asked Eric what the reasons were for his mother to take him out of the will. Eric said he didn't know. Eric said he really doesn't know why she didn't leave him anything but his lawyer is going to contest the will.
Eric said he has a job and he's working for Mark the Booker who runs a construction company. He's also going to be making some appearances soon. Howard asked if he has a real lawyer. Eric said he does. Howard asked Eric when he last spoke to his mom. Eric said he spoke to her when she was sick. He said he spoke to her on the phone when she was at his sister's house. Eric said he saw her then too. Howard said it sounds like they had a terrible relationship. Eric wondered why Steve wanted to get into his private life because they're staying out of Artie's business. Howard said if Artie was there they'd ask him about his business too.
Howard let Eric go and played the ''Twat Cream'' prank call Eric made to a pharmacy one time. Howard got a laugh out of that. Howard said that the woman goes to look for Twat cream like it's a real thing and then comes back angry.
Jon finished up his Wrap Up Show preview with a few more subjects. Howard moved on to Robin's news after that.
Robin asked Howard if he believes there is evil in this world. Howard said he thinks that there are some people who are raised wrong and they become evil. Then there are some who are just evil to the bone because there's something they were born with. Howard said he knows someone who didn't even cry when they put their dog down. That's pure evil. Fred laughed.
Robin read a story about this new drink that's out that's laced with alcohol that's being sold to kids at bodegas and barber shops around New York City. She thinks that's evil. Robin said they call them Nutcrackers and Nemo. Howard said he would have been there all the time buying that stuff if they had it when he was a kid. He talked about the stuff he was into when he was a kid like tons of different drugs. Howard said he smoked too. He thought that was a cool look but it didn't work for him. He said you have to be cool to look cool smoking. He said just smoking doesn't make you cool looking. He stopped by the time he got to college. Robin was still smoking when Howard met her. Robin said she was smoking Benson and Hedges menthols. She said she hates Kool. Howard said that's what he used to smoke.
Howard said smoking was the stupidest habit ever. Robin said that she's gotten rid of that smoker thing. Howard said he hates the smell of cigarette smoke. Fred said he still thinks about having one when he smells the smoke in the air. Howard said Fred used to smell awful from the smoke and coffee he would drink. Fred said it was like an ashtray drowned in coffee.
Robin read a story about the Octomom's doctor who may have his license revoked for doing what he did with Nadya Sulemon.
Robin read a story about fish that aren't eco-friendly. She had a list of the fish that people should avoid if they're trying to be eco-friendly. Howard said he likes a lot of the fish that she had on the list. He said he'd even eat a mermaid if he could catch one. The lower half at least.
Robin said that Charlie Sheen is back to work after being accused of assaulting his wife on Christmas day. Howard said CBS should have some balls and fire that guy. He said that the guy is despicable and shouldn't be rewarded for behavior like that. Robin said that Charlie was at a table read for ''Two and a Half Men.'' Howard said there are women who should be nervous working with that guy. Howard said he can't believe that people reward him at awards shows. Howard said he's probably going to be at the SAG awards and people are going to applaud him.
Robin said that Charlie and his wife are saying that they want to work on their marriage. Howard said he had the 9-1-1 call that the wife made. He said it was kind of long and disturbing. Howard played the call and the wife was saying that she wanted to report domestic abuse. She said that her husband had threatened her with a knife. She said that there were other people there separating them. She said that he was in the other room with other people. The operator asked what her name was and what the husband's name was. She gave out Charlie Sheen's name and Howard joked that the operator thought he was funny so she hung up the phone. That was just a joke but Howard said the operator should have asked her why she was with the guy who had done so many things wrong with other women. The operator spoke to Brooke trying to keep her calm while they sent the police. Howard said it sounds like that operator can type fast.
Howard played more of the 9-1-1 call and it sounded like Brooke was saying that Charlie had a switch blade knife to her neck. Howard said that everyone will applaud him when he shows up to award shows. Howard said Charlie must be the half a man on ''Two and a Half Men'' since he's busy beating up on these women.
Howard wondered if the operator was tap dancing or typing in that clip. Fred played some tap dancing audio clips to go along with the call. They spent a little more time on the Charlie Sheen story before moving on.
Robin said they have a Vanity Fair cover with Tiger Woods shirtless. Robin said she thought he was in really good shape but she didn't think he looked that good in this picture. Howard mentioned the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant contest they have going on since Robin brought that story up.
Robin said that people are wondering where Tiger has gone to hide lately. They think he might be in Africa right now hiding out at a friend's house. Howard said that's a smart place to go. He said TMZ won't even follow him there. Howard said TMZ scares the shit out of him because they're on top of these stories so fast. Howard said Tiger should have gone to the Jay Leno show. No one would have found him there.
Robin read about the basketball players that got in trouble with guns in the locker room. They're saying that it was a prank and not a fight at all.
Robin read a story about a transgender person who was named to a post in the Obama administration. Howard said he's going to tell people that Artie is in Africa when he has people calling in with that question. Robin read more about the transgender person and how the operation went for her about 10 years ago.
Robin and Howard talked about the cold weather there and how awful it is for running. Howard said he messed his foot up running on a treadmill. He said he can't run at all right now. Robin said she's been running outside and it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.
Robin said they say there are some good things for cold weather like killing off diseased organisms and insects. Robin said it also trains blood vessels to be responsive.
Robin read a story about a bombing in Afghanistan last week and how the guy was a double agent working for Al Qaeda and for us. Robin had some audio of a CIA guy talking about how dangerous these people are.
Robin said that the CBS news has a new voice and that person is Morgan Freeman. She said they were using Walter Cronkite but they've recently switched. Howard said they need Darth Vader to do that. He didn't like the Morgan Freeman intro.
Robin read about Brit Hume talking about Tiger Woods needing to switch to Christianity to be forgiven for what he did. Howard said he's just latching on to something like these nuts like Glenn Beck, O'Reilly and those guys have done. Howard said the guy is like a vomit and a bore. Howard said he's really going right wing and he's going to out right wing everyone else. Robin had some audio of Brit Hume talking about that and Howard said he can't believe that guy used to be a legitimate news reporter. Howard said he's like a big droopy dog guy. He said he puts on that show and sees him droning on sometimes. Howard said maybe they were trying to get rid of him and he went nuts so they'd keep him around. Howard said Bill O'Reilly seems rational compared to this guy.
Robin read a story about how people got crazy over food. She said an Ohio woman punched through a drive thru window because she wasn't able to get Chicken McNuggets. Robin said food is pretty plentiful around this country and she could have gone somewhere else to eat. Robin said this 24 year old woman was arrested for damaging the restaurant. Howard said she must be pretty tough to punch through that glass. He said it's not easy to reach.
Howard said he had Artie's mic up just in case he showed up. He said he's leaving it on all the time. Fred played the balloon squeaking sound that Artie was making the last couple of months to make it sound like he was there.
Robin read about the new season of The Apprentice and had the list of people who will be competing this season. Sharon Osbourne, Holly Robinson Peet, Brett Michaels, Rod Blagojevich and others will be on. Robin said that the Trump kids will be on helping their father out this season as well.
Howard said they're going to have to mix that show up eventually and have an all Hasidam show or something. Fred threw in Gilbert Gottfried singing while they talked about that.
Robin read about the NY Jets preparing for their upcoming game this weekend. She had some audio clips of guys from the team talking about that.
Robin had some audio of the new Michael Jackson song that was leaked onto the internet. The Jackson family has asked that it be removed because the song wasn't done yet.
Robin read about Michael Cera being in a new movie and had some audio of him talking about that. Howard said he didn't really care what the kid's life was like at 16. He cut that clip off. Robin had some audio of Bryce Dallas Howard talking about a role she had in another movie. Howard let that one play. Howard said that Michael Cera was actually going to be the voice of Howard Stern in Howard Stern the High School Years. Howard said he was good and if they had gone through with that cartoon he probably would have gotten the part.
Robin had a story about the new season of The Biggest Loser and had some audio of a guy talking about how they have the biggest contestant ever on the show. They have a guy who is over 500 pounds. They wrapped up the show and ended it around 10:45am.
Benjy said that Eric has done some low life stuff but he's not that evil. Gary said he thinks he is. He said he's committed crimes and stolen people's credit card numbers. That can be embarrassing to the family. He said if that happens to a family they're only going to put up with it for so long.
The guys also talked about Scott the Engineer and the CD player problem they have today. Gary said that Scott will come back to him this afternoon with a report about it and it may or may not be his fault. He said that it's very hard to work with Howard going off on you while you're standing there.
Jon brought up the cat thing that Howard talked about today. He asked Gary what he thinks about that. Gary said that it's interesting that Howard is verbalizing that on the air. He said that it's kind of narcissistic to talk about it on the air the way he is. He's wondering if Beth is annoyed by it.
Gary said that cats are so easy to take care of. He said that they just do their own thing and you barely have to take care of them. Benjy said that they're smart enough to know be vindictive and pee on your stuff if they're pissed off. Gary said he's never had that problem with his cats. Gary said that his wife wanted the cats and he wasn't sure he was going to like it. He said that the cats are so easy to take care of that he doesn't mind it. He said he likes having the cats and the dog and they were all in bed last night.
Fred came in so Jon asked him about the dogs that he had to put down. Jon said Howard thought he was from another planet when he said he didn't cry. Fred said he didn't cry in that room but he did go home and cry his eyes out. He said he didn't take it lightly. Fred said they tired to find out what was wrong with this one dog that was walking to the wall and crying and whining and they found no reason for it to happen. He said they went through every test to figure it out and they had no idea what was wrong with it. The vets would tell them they might want to think about putting the dog down. Fred said the dog was 16 years old.
Jon said that you still have to pull the plug on the dog. Fred said that's ultimately what they do but they spent a lot of money trying to find out what the problem was with the dog. He said they tried to help but they couldn't figure out what the problem was. Fred said a lot of people would have given up on the dog long before they did. Jon played a clip of Robin talking about putting her cat to sleep over vacation.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was listening to the History of Howard Stern last week and he wondered if Howard picks on people on the show hen they don't have guests. Fred said Gary just mentioned that a few minutes ago. That's exactly what happens when they don't have guests. They also talked about Jackie taking credit for so many things on the show.
Another caller said he has a cat and the cat is very manipulative. He said that the cat will bite your toes when you walk. He said this morning the cat had shit in her food. He said that the stupid thing took a shit in the food and he wondered ''what the fuck?'' Gary said they weren't sure how to answer that. The guy said if that happens with Howard, what's he going to do. Gary said he's not sure what he'd do.
Gary said he thought the cats were going to be like dogs but they come to be with you when they feel like it. A dog will come right over.
Fred said that some people say dogs are really special when you don't have kids but once you have kids the dog is just a dog. He said that's the truth.
Jason came in to talk about the pets because he has thrown birthday parties for his pets. Gary said that his kids have never even put hats on their pets like Jason has. Jason said he did that once. He said it was just him and his girlfriend at the time. He said that it was just the one time too.
Jason said that Gary has a statue of his dog. Gary said that was a birthday present from Howard and Beth. He said he didn't have it made. Fred said there's a statue of a dog in Central Park. They talked about that a little bit.
Jason said the statue of Gary's dog is missing balls. Gary said there was apparently a lot of discussion about whether or not to give the statue balls. He said it ultimately ended up without any. Jason talked about why he dressed his dog up in an outfit. He said it wasn't a planned thing.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Fred if he hired a pet psychic for his dog. Fred said he didn't but he did speak to a pet counselor. He said he wasn't sure he wanted to put the dog down because that is a big step to take. Fred said the counselor told them the best course of action was to say goodbye. Benjy asked if the counselor spoke to the dog. Fred told Benjy that dogs can't talk so of course they didn't talk to the dog.
Jason said he totally freaks out when he hears them talking about putting their pets down. Fred said they kept one dog alive for about 8 months longer than they were going to. He said that most people don't have the money to keep a pet alive if they have cancer. He said they got the dog treatments since they had the money.
The guys were talking about how some people go right out and get another pet when one dies. Some people don't get that but there are people who think that it's just a pet and they die so they just get another one. Gary said that he started to watch ''Marley and Me'' but cut it off before the end because he didn't want to see them putting the dog down.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she had the same kind of dog Gary does. Her phone cut out so they weren't sure what she was asking.
Jason said he thought Jon took his kids to see Marley and Me so they wouldn't want to have a pet. Jon said that he's not evil like that. He said he doesn't want to have a dog in the house. Jon said that he knows that his wife would end up having to take care of the dog. Gary said that's true because the kids say they want to take care of them but they eventually don't want to do it. Jon said his kids won't be around in a few years when they go to college and he'd rather just have it be him and his wife and no dog. Gary said it can be a pain when you have to get someone to take care of the dog.
Benjy asked Gary what's going to happen to Gary and Jon and the guys if something happens to them. They said they have living wills and Gary said he would want to have the plug pulled. Benjy said he would never want the plug pulled. He said he wants to stay alive no matter what.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Jason if he would choose his pet over his mother to live or die. Jason said he wasn't serious but he also said that this guy doesn't know his mother. Jason said his mother would never let him have a pet when he was growing up but now she loves the cat and dog he has now. He said she hugs and kisses them.
A caller told the guys that he has a cat that ends up going on the dining room table and you never know if they're tracking feces or pee filled litter around the house. Jason said that's so false. He said they are the cleanest animals because they clean up after they take a shit. He said he's on Howard's side with the cat though. He said he shouldn't get one if he doesn't want one.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that they had a dog that died at 5 and she had to have another dog immediately. She said she wanted to have a new dog that night so she saved a dog from a shelter. She said that people should do that instead of getting bred dogs. She said that there are a lot of pets who need homes out there and they should be adopting them.
Gary said Howard doesn't listen to the show because he's doing stuff while Rush is on. Gary said Howard hates rush because he paved the way for guys like Limbaugh. He said he spent his career being honest on radio and he thinks that Rush saw that and followed in his footsteps.
Fred said he agrees with Gary and added that Limbaugh got into radio very early but dropped out because it wasn't going very well. Then in 1984 or so he started broadcasting again when Morton Downey was fired. Rush Limbaugh was standing in the wings and he didn't innovate anything. Benjy said Howard doesn't seem to think he's very talented either.
The caller asked why Howard would be upset with people copying him. Gary said Howard isn't happy when anyone copies him. He never has been. The caller said that the show Rush is doing isn't like Howard's show though. Gary said he thinks that Howard believes that Rush isn't being true to himself.
Jason said that rush must be a good broadcaster because he's been on the air for 20 years or whatever and he's got an audience. Jason said he thinks that Howard's point is that he doesn't get credit for what he does when guys like Rush Limbaugh do. Howard has done so much and he doesn't get the credit that other guys are getting. Jason said that rush has a huge audience but it's spread out over 600 stations. He said he has a lot of markets with just a few people listening. He said Howard blows up when he used to go into various markets.
The guys were also talking about Ryan Seacrest how Howard goes off on him all the time too. They spent some time talking about shows that used to be on TV that got ratings but people never seemed to watch. They talked about the Lawrence Welk Show and things like that. Fred said that show is like American Idol or vice versa. Fred said that's the same kind of shitty show that they have on now.
Jon said that there are some people who think he aims too high with the girls he goes fro. JD said that he isn't attracted to everyone and he just goes after girls he's attracted to. He said the girls he likes are the girls he likes. Gary said he has a mirror and he knows the kind of girls he can date. He said he stays in a range. Jason said there's nothing wrong with aiming high and JD always goes to the 10s. JD said he's had interests in other girls and they don't know who they are.
Gary said that there was an intern there who liked JD a lot and he scoffed at that. Gary said she may not have been a 10 but he wasn't into her. JD said he didn't know which one he was talking about. Gary said it wasn't the most recent one. JD said he liked this one girl that Jason had just whispered into his ear. He said one girl wanted him to be her roommate. He said it's not that easy to just start living with a girl. He said she had just started and he wasn't going to start banging her right away. He said it would have started a bunch of problems.
Jon asked JD if he would lower his standards to just be with a chick. JD said he can't just fuck someone to fuck them. He said he can't do that. Gary asked him about going to Hedonism. JD said he didn't much of anything down there. He said he didn't get blown like the guys thought. JD said it was just a bad time.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he anted to defend JD. He said that he's going to end up with a 7 or something if he doesn't aim for the 10s. Gary said that if you aim for the hottest girl and they don't want you then you end up with nothing. The caller said that he could end up with the hot chick's friend.
Benjy asked how JD was wasting his time hitting on the chick. Gary said he has to hit on other people and not just concentrate on one hot chick. JD said that he will go after other chicks and it's not just this one. Jason said he heard a story about show JD was at and he was so focused on this 10 that he ignored the friend who may not have been a 10. JD said that someone else from the show hooked up with someone from the show. JD said that person didn't hook up from what he heard. JD said both of the girls were hot and one had just gotten out of a relationship. She had no interest in him. He said he spoke to both of them. Fred said he thought the move JD had with the receptionist was a good one. JD said he appreciates that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks JD is full of shit and he's fucked five 2s so that counts as a 10. No one was laughing. They said that was like a Jackie's Joke Hunt kind of joke.
Gary asked JD about the girl who was going over to watch movies at his place. JD said she got a boyfriend. JD said he's not looking for something serious because he can barely handle himself. He said he's not sure what's going to happen after this year and all of that. JD said that he discussed it with that girl and she had no interest in the other guy but then she ended up with him. JD said he's fine with that.
JD said he has a wandering eye and he can't commit. JD said that was put in the wrong way. He said he hates this show and hates talking about this stuff. Jon asked JD what he means by the wandering eye. JD told him to forget it. JD said he thinks that he would be looking for other chicks if he got into a serious relationship. Gary said that you have to be more in it to be a player. He asked JD if he's ever been in a relationship long enough to know he's got a wandering eye. JD said no to that.
Jason said that if he got into a relationship he'd see that there's like a 3 month time when you don't have a wandering eye. He said that eventually comes back though. JD said he can't say and he should just be quiet about the whole thing. Jon went to break after that.
JD said he was just trying to give his point of view. Ralph said that was the problem, he wasn't even doing that and he wasn't defending himself.
Gary asked Ralph if he knows what Howard is talking about when he says he doesn't want to talk about what happened on New Year's Eve. Ralph jokingly said his family would prefer that they not talk about that. Ralph said he really doesn't know exactly what it was. He was starting to sound like JD with his explanation. Ralph said it wasn't a Sal thing or anything like that. Gary didn't get the joke Ralph was trying to use with the whole ''my family'' thing. Jon told him it was going right over his head. Gary finally figured it out. (He was referring to the Artie situation.)
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up the JD thing and Gary was saying he just wants to see JD not being lonely all the time. JD said he's not pining for a relationship and he likes to be alone to do whatever he wants. JD said he likes being that way.
Jon asked Gary about the Pete the intern situation. Gary said Pete always seems to be in the way and he's asked him to just answer phones. He said that they'll work things out and get it all straightened out. Steve Brandano said he saw Pete on the phone one day and he was on the phone for like 4 minutes with one caller. Gary said he saw Pete surfing the net while the phones were ringing yesterday. Gary thought he was on Match.com or something like that. Teddy said it was on some matchmaking site for Asians. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show saying he had the Artie microphone up... just in case. Fred played the balloon squeaking noise as they talked about that.
Howard went on to talk about yesterday's Wrap Up Show when JD was talking about giving his number to the receptionist out there. He said he loves when JD tries to explain himself. He said he heard the show and had to pull clips of JD trying to speak. Howard said he had 3 clips to play. The first one was when Jon was talking about JD possibly aiming too high with women he goes after. JD doesn't think he aims too high, he just goes after women he likes.
Robin asked if Gary was insane after she heard that clip because he was saying that he knows he doesn't look that good and he didn't aim that high. Robin said Gary's wife is way above him in the looks department.
In another clip JD was talking about this girl he used to have over to his place to hang out and how she went off and found a boyfriend. He said he's not in that mode to have a girlfriend.
Howard said he loves hearing JD trying to give his internal thoughts. It takes him time to get them out. Robin said he can make a simple question last 15 minutes.
Howard said the worst feeling in the world is being shot down by a 5. He said he can kind of relate to JD going for the 10 and being shot down by her. Fred said Ralph told him to aim for the stars but you have to be realistic. He said you have to ask what's in your price range like when you're looking for a house.
Howard brought up this show ''Conveyor Belt Of Love'' that's on ABC. He said most of the guys on the show are real assholes and they're trying to get hot chicks. Howard said it makes you feel better about yourself when you see the show. The guys are such assholes it makes you think you'd have a better chance with the girls. He said he's TiVo'd the show because he likes it so much.
Robin said she's amazed that guys have to be told to listen to women. Howard said he had to go to therapy to learn to do that. Howard said a heterosexual man doesn't know how to do that. He said men have to be taught. Howard said he's used to just solving problems and moving on with the day. Robin said there are guys like Medicated Pete who won't listen. Howard said he knows, he's had the same problem.
Howard said he asks Beth about her day and she loves that. He said he gets laid too. He said he's learned how to do that. He said he even likes it now.
Howard said he saw this Penelope Cruz in a picture and she's got an amazing ass. He said this girl Casey Johnson, who just died, was also hot. Howard said she wasn't on his radar until now. He talked about her dying and how she was engaged to that waste Tila Tequila. Howard said she was originally the choice to be on that Paris Hilton reality show ''Simple Life'' that she did. Howard said she was apparently a real mess. He said he doesn't get it when those rich kids are such a mess. Howard said if he grew up rich he wouldn't have had to put up with the crap he had to. He said he would have learned to do other things that would have been much better in his life.
Robin said he would have learned about other cultures and people around the world if they had money. Howard said he can't imagine not having that pressure to not find a career. He said he could have done anything he wanted to if his family had money. Howard said this girl is fascinating to him. She was a diabetic but all her job had to be was making her mom and dad happy. He said she could have acted kind of normal and she would have had all the money she wanted.
Howard said the rich kids have nothing to work for and they get lost in the abyss. He said they get bored and don't know what to do with themselves. Howard said when you lose that motivation it just doesn't go well. Howard said that Casey Johnson was with Tila Tequila and that shows how bad her life was. He said it looked like she was going downhill when that was going on.
Howard said the father of Casey, Woody, seemed to have everything together. He said the family had lost a couple of other kids too so it was really sad. Howard said the family had cut her off from the family money. He said they wanted her to go to rehab and she didn't want to fix herself. He said she was a rebel child and now she's dead.
Robin said they say that one of the worst handicaps you can give a kid is money. Howard said he's pretty sure he could handle it but that seems to be true about some people. Fred said there was a documentary about rich kids and the father of one kid collected books. When the kid asked his father what he should do with his life the father told him to do something important and collect books. That's the kind of advice these people are giving their kids.
Howard talked about how hot Casey Johnson is and how it's like a big fuck you to your parents when you live in squalor like she was. Howard said she had even adopted a 2 year old kid from Kazakhstan. He said there was a fight over that kid as well. Benjy said the aunt is in another controversy with that family too. He said he thinks that Casey's mom might have the kid now. Howard said he doesn't know about that, he just knows this Casey adopted a kid and she had major problems.
Howard said there are people who work for a living and he can't imagine how these kids screw themselves up. He said at least the Kennedy kids tried to do some stuff. He said that they did public service stuff. Most of them did anyway.
Gary said the intern barely speaks. He said he got the gift and it took him a minute to figure out what it was. Gary said the only people in the office that day was him and the intern. He said he thanked the kid for the gift but he found out they were from a vintage store and he's not even really a Three Stooges fan. He said he likes them but not that much. Howard said they don't look anything like the three stooges really. Howard said the Larry and Curly look like them but Moe doesn't look like him.
Howard said that might have even cost that intern 50 bucks. Gary said he's not going to throw them away. Howard said they're kind of cool in a way. Robin said that maybe they should put them on ebay and see what happens. Gary said this is like the third year in a row he got a gift that wasn't worth quite what he gave. He said last year he got some chocolates.
Howard said Benjy checked online and found that the ducks are about $40 online. Howard said the intern could have spent that money on something better than that.
Fred said Warren Beatty apparently makes a strange noise like that. He said when you look like that guy you can probably make any sound you want. Howard said it's not necessary to make those noises though.
Howard got back to JD and played more clips of him on the Wrap Up Show. He played a clip where JD was talking about not being able to commit to a girl and how he wanted to keep his options open. JD talked about his wandering eye.
Howard said Ralph called in during that segment too. He said he thought he had good advice about JD going after the girls he wants to instead of telling him to set his sights lower. Howard said he had some heinous looking girls when he was growing up. He said he had girls who had a 1 face and a 10 body. He said there was one girl he had who had the face of a monster. He said it was just horrible. He said she had a great body though. He said the body was rock hard and her face was like a gargoyle. He said he did that chick twice and loved it. Howard said that girl was the one who had some male friends come in while he was still laying in bed naked. He said he wanted to die when they came in because he didn't want anyone to know he had banged her.
Howard said he was high that night he met this girl. He said he may have just been on pot but he got fucked up on that stuff. Howard said he asked his friend Dr. Lou if she was okay and Dr. Lou said there was no way he was going to want this girl. He said he was going to be mad at himself if he woke up and saw her in the morning. Howard said he went home after hearing that from him. He said that she must have come to get him in his room or something. Howard said she knocked on the door and came and got him. Howard said he was sober at that time but he went out with her. Howard said her body was so hot that he came in like 3 seconds. He said that she had that great vagina that was so hot that he couldn't hold out. Howard said he did her and he was ashamed. He stayed and talked to her but when you cum you just want to leave. He said he did a terrible thing by banging her just to bang her. He said he never wanted to talk to her again after that. Howard said he felt awful about himself.
Howard said he figured he'd never see that girl again but he ran into her out on the street. He said she brought him back to the room a second time and he did her again. That's when the friends came in and giggled at him for doing this chick. Howard said he's probably still a legend over there for banging that chick. Robin said she hopes she's not listening to this show hearing this. Howard said he's not sure she even knows who he is. He said there's no way things went well for her in her life with that face. He said she's probably in another country working with the homeless. He said maybe she works with lepers.
Howard asked JD if he's ever been rejected by a 3. JD said not really a 3. JD said there was a cute girl he was interested in and she had a friend who was kind of chubby. He said that she wasn't really fat but maybe a little overweight. Robin said JD likes big butts though. JD said ''yeah, whatever.' He said he ended up going back to this chick's apartment and he figured he'd just go for it. He said the thick girl was reading a magazine and he sat next to her. He said they were talking about the magazine and she didn't seem interested in him so he didn't try anything. JD said she didn't seem interested in him even though he tried to lower his standards. He said nothing seems to work out.
Howard said he used to go to AZA parties where Jewish women would go to these parties. He said it was high school Jewish girls and they weren't good looking girls. He said it was like a dumping ground for ugly girls. Howard said he had a friend who would go to the place just to pick these girls up to get laid. He wasn't even Jewish. Howard said most of the girls were built like a female Shreck.
Howard said he went with his friend to the AZA party and they were in a basement of this girl's house and they had crappy paneling on the walls. He said they had a crappy couch and had some chips out to eat. Howard said he was smoking cigarettes trying to look cool. He said he'd freak out if his kids let guys smoke in his basement. Howard said everyone ended up getting paired up except for him. Howard said all of the girls were fat and none of them wanted him. He said he spoke to one of them and she was alone. He said she was heinous to the 10th power.
Howard said he put that scene in his cartoon ''Howard Stern the High School Years'' that never got made. He said he wrote that scene into an episode with Jeremiah Bosgang.
Howard told JD that the receptionist there is really nice and JD would be really lucky to get her. Howard said she's lovely and so nice. He said they used to have a vomit out there who wouldn't say hello to anyone. JD said he hasn't had a lot of conversations with her. He said she's buys answering phones so he doesn't want to bother her. Howard said she would intimidate him too.
Fred said he stopped by and spoke to her yesterday. He asked her if she had any friends who would be appropriate for JD. She wanted to put a suggestion box out there for him. Fred said that JD isn't that bad looking and he deserves better than that. JD said ''Whatever...''
Howard asked JD about his new hours and how that's working out. JD explained what he's doing now and Howard said he didn't hear anything he had just said. Howard said he worries about JD. He heard him talking about working there and not knowing what's going to happen in a year. Howard said some people think that he's having this nervous breakdown because of this threat of him retiring. Howard said if he leaves then what's going to happen? JD said he's had the problem before and it's not Howard. He said the anxiety comes and goes with him. He said he wasn't even living in New York the first time it happened.
Howard said JD had a tough childhood. JD said it wasn't that tough and it had nothing to do with his parents. He said he wasn't popular in school and stuff. He said that's about it. Howard said it's a little heavier than that the way he sees it.
JD said his mother just loves it when he talks about her on the air. Howard asked her what she says. JD didn't want to talk about it. Howard asked where his mom lives now. He said she lives on the mainland now and she's no longer in Hawaii. Robin asked if he saw her over vacation. JD said that he didn't spend the holidays with her. JD said she really doesn't like being talked about on the air.
Howard asked JD why he didn't see her over the vacation. JD was all over the place trying to explain what was going on but he had trouble getting his thoughts out. JD went on to say that his dad paid for his trips to Ohio and without that he wouldn't have been able to visit. JD said this year he had to pay for his trip to see his dad this year. He said more of the relatives live out there than do where his mom lives. JD said his mom felt sort of like he loves his dad more so she had an issue with that. JD said they've had a talk about that and she knows it's not like that.
Howard asked why his mom can't come to visit him instead. JD said she's talked about that. Howard said she can get on a plane and come see him. JD said she might not have the money to do that. Robin said that she had the money to get to Hawaii. JD said he shouldn't have said anything. Howard said maybe she didn't have the money in Hawaii to come see him but she could come visit him now. She can drive to see him if she can't afford to fly. JD said with her job she didn't have as many days off.
Howard asked how many years she didn't see him. JD said it was a few years. He said that it's not that bad. H said she might be coming to see him in the spring time. He said she's not coming on the show. Howard said he wants her on the show. JD said maybe she'll come up after the show. Howard asked if his mom is going to stay with him. JD said he doesn't have the room in the apartment.
Howard asked JD what's wrong about what they're saying. JD said he loves his mother and his mother loves him. Everything is fine. He said she doesn't listen to the show but she might read about it online. JD said that his mother is a good mother. Howard and JD said that maybe the people who write about the show should post something like ''JD's mom loves him and JD loves his mom.'' Done.
Howard and JD talked more about him going to see his father. Howard said that his mom took herself out of the loop of JD's life when she moved to Hawaii. JD said he really didn't want to talk about that.
Howard asked JD how many friends he has on Facebook. JD said it's probably 700 or so but he doesn't add everyone. He said that he rejects people on there. He said he doesn't know a lot of them. JD said he'll add hot chicks and people he can network with and friends. JD said some people add everyone but not him. Howard said it sounds like JD is on a roll. He let him go after that. As he was leaving he asked how his zit was doing. JD said it's going away. Robin said poor JD almost made it out without that coming up. Howard said JD gets mad when he talks about his mom. He said he's going to drop it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how much pussy JD is leaving on the table by not shooting lower. Howard said he doesn't think it's a lot. Robin said that Richard Christy used to have dates with himself when he first got to New York. She said that one day he finally figured out that he had to get a real girl and found this girl he's going to marry. She said he's very happy now. Howard said he can't believe that girl is going to marry him.
Robin said that Richard has gone out with this girl to some really lovely places and maybe it's going to be okay. Howard said he smells a disaster.
Howard talked more about JD and how he has had a shot at getting some chicks. He said that he was going out with Artie on the road and he was back stage with hot chicks. JD said there isn't that many girls back stage. He said a lot of the girls are already with guys at those shows. Howard said JD should spend some time with Benjy and learn from him. He said Benjy seems to be able to get chicks. He had that hot chick with him at the holiday party. JD said that would be some couple if he and Benjy were hanging out. Howard said he'd do JD over Benjy if he was a girl.
Benjy asked Robin who has a better face, him or JD. Robin said JD. Benjy was fine coming in second. JD said he'd feel weird hanging out with Benjy because he's afraid of him doing something weird.
Howard said he thinks that JD could get that girl Benjy is with. JD said he could bang her but he's not sure he could hang out with her. He said that she's nice but she's a little nutty. JD said Benjy has dated Ivy Supersonic too and there's no way he could handle that at all. JD said he has some kind of threshold that he doesn't. Howard said Ivy had a kick ass body and he put up with her behavior. He said Benjy can commit to that kind of thing.
Howard asked Benjy about how long he's been dating this girl that was on the show. Benjy said it's been a few months. Howard said she must be wild in bed. That's how he pictures her. Benjy said that any girl he's attracted to is great in bed. Howard said this was the longest conversation he's had with Benjy and it was enough. He cut off his microphone.
Howard asked JD how many girls he's been with. JD said it's probably 10 at the most. JD said he was a virgin until 2005. Howard said he got laid on the last day of the show at K-Rock. JD said he got the girl who came in with the Bunny Ranch girls but she wasn't from the Bunny Ranch.
Howard asked JD if he's still jerking off to the girls on the internet. JD said he does that but he's not going to talk about the sites he goes on. He said he used to go to iFriends but not anymore. He said he has had private shows and he tells the girls what to do.
Howard heard that JD looks up high priced hookers. JD said he does but it's just a fascination he has. He said he's not sure he would ever pay for one. JD said that some porn stars do stuff like that and he has looked into it. He said that anyone good enough is way out of his price range. He said they can cost $1000 an hour. Howard sounded shocked by that.
Howard heard that JD was looking for porno movies yesterday. JD said there was glom stuff to look through so of course he was looking. He said he takes a few but Sal takes everything and shoves it in his office. Howard said Sal must be making money off of that stuff.
Howard asked JD if he still talks to Kimberly Kane. He said he does still talk to her once in a while. Howard said JD's numbers have to be less than 10. He said it's probably more like 5. JD said it's been so long he doesn't even remember.
Howard asked JD if he makes noise when he cums. JD said he doesn't know about that. Howard replayed the porn clip from earlier and Fred threw in JD's whooping laugh. Howard said they had spent too much time on this and they had to take a break. Howard told JD to let them know when he sees his mom again.
Howard said Dr. Drew is coming in and he's going to talk about a new season of Celebrity Rehab. Howard said they have Tom Sizemore and Heidi Fleiss on the same season. He said that should be good. He said they have some other people he's never heard of. He said they have that Miss Teen USA back on the show too. He said she was nice in there but not on that Sex Rehab show. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked Fred about the group Traffic and who was in it. Fred named the guys in the band no problem. Howard had another question about Steve Winwood. Howard said he was talking to Ed Simon yesterday and was asked those questions. He said that Ed is Paul Simon's brother and they look very much alike so people always ask him for his autograph. Howard said he and Ed were doing some music trivia together. He told Robin about some of the stuff they were discussing.
Howard said Dr. Drew was there and he wanted to talk to him about this picture he saw of him with his shirt off. Howard said Dr. Drew had to have posed for that picture. Drew said he did no. He said he was in Hawaii and he flipped out over the picture when he saw it. He said he freaked out on the hotel. Drew said his kids were in some of the pictures that got out. He didn't like that. Howard said he read that Drew's workout routine is peculiar to him. He runs for a month and then lifts weights for a month. He can't do the two at the same time. Drew said he's compulsive and that's the way he does things.
Howard said he has to congratulate him on this Celebrity Rehab that they're doing. Drew said it starts on Thursday. Howard said Sex Rehab was one of his top 3 shows of the season. It was that and ''Leave it to Lamas.'' Drew said this new season is the hardest they've ever done.
Drew said Dennis Rodman was on and he was so resistant. He said that he was court ordered to do this rehab and he was going to end up going to jail. Drew said that Dennis' brain isn't working right and he had some brain scans done to show him what was going on. He said that they ordered him to treatment and he wasn't happy with his level of cooperation and he had to tell the courts that. Drew said that they claimed that he was being active in another rehab but he found it hard to believe.
Drew told Howard about how he had to write a letter for Dennis and he told him that. He said he had to participate but Dennis would just say ''whatever.'' Drew said that he thought that Dennis might have autism so he had him see an autism specialist. The specialist thought it might be Aspburgers or something like that. He said that Dennis isn't retarded or anything like that. He can hyper focus on things but in terms of processing things he's not quite there.
Howard asked if Dennis ever broke down. Drew said that he did eventually start participating and he wrote the letter for him that's going to help keep him out of jail.
Howard told Drew about the time Dennis got caught with some girls when he was with Carmen Electra and he told her that they had just fallen out of the ceiling. Drew said that kind of thing is what they had to put up with. He said that part of him was very frustrating. drew said that Dennis always wanted to attack him too and he had to convince him that he was just another person and not some kind of wizard.
Drew said Dennis is very interesting and he started out talking about how he had no family. Drew said they got his mother and brought her out. He said she turned out to be delightful too. Drew said they have this woman Shirley who works with them and she doesn't take any grief from anyone and that ended up being the way they got through to Dennis. He said that his mom's name was also Shirley so that may have helped. Drew said Dennis' biological mother turned out to be so nice and she wondered why he had forsaken his family. Drew said that he's not sure exactly what his problems were with his family.
Howard talked to Drew about this Kari Ann Peniche and what a vomit she turned out to be on Sex Rehab. Drew said that it turns out she was on speed and they offered her the chance to do the Celebrity Rehab show.
Howard asked Drew if he licked his lips and smacked his hands together when he found out that Tom Sizemore and Heidi Fleiss were going to be on the show. Drew said it's not like that. He said it's actually harder for him when he has people like that on the show. Drew said he doesn't book the show so he can't plan on who he's going to be dealing with.
Howard said that Tom and Heidi were married for a while and there was some beatings going on. Howard asked if there was any fighting going on. He said there wasn't any in rehab but then when they go to Sober House things start to fall apart. He said that he had to move into the sober house himself to help them work through it.
Howard asked Drew how Heidi was looking. He said that she's done a lot of surgery and stuff. Drew said that toward the end of the rehab she started to look really good. Howard asked what she was addicted to. Drew said it was Vikodin and speed. Howard said he never gets addicted to stuff like that. Drew said he must not have that gene. Drew said he's taken Vikodin before but he didn't like it so he hated taking it. He had to force himself to take it when he was in pain.
Howard asked Drew about Mackenzie Phillips and her claims about her father. Drew said he believes her stories about her father having sex with her. Drew said that it's actually a common thing with families that are on drugs.
Howard asked Drew about castration for sex offenders. Drew said 10 or 15 years ago people were saying that sexual abuse has been around and they're just now talking about it. Drew said that's not true and there's an epidemic of it out there now. He said that people need to be carefully monitored when they get out of jail after being accused of something like that.
Howard asked Drew if it's true that he's Andy Dick's doctor. Drew said he is and he pays when he comes to see him. Howard wondered how that works and asked what kind of money he's making doing the radio show and stuff. Drew said he used to make really good money doing radio. He said that he's lucky if he makes $150,000 a year as a doctor. Howard said he thought it was more like $300,000 a year. Drew said that they can do that if they kill themselves working.
Howard asked drew about what school he went to and how many chicks he's banged. Drew said he didn't want to talk about the women since his kids could hear this show. Howard asked what kind of SAT scores he got. He said he had a 1450 or so. Howard said his friend Dr. Lou had a perfect score.
Howard and Drew talked about the private practice and Drew said he actually loses about $50,000 a year with that. He said that the practice is general medicine and he has other people working for him so that's why he keeps it going. Howard asked if he sticks his finger up people's asses. Drew said he does that all the time. Howard asked if he ever dims the lights when it's a good looking guy. Drew said he does not.
Howard asked Drew about these chest x-rays they do and if he should stop them. Drew said that they don't yield very much so they might be worth getting done. Howard asked Drew if he can feel cancer when he sticks his finger up an ass. Drew said he can. He said you can feel something like a rubber ball in there if there is cancer.
Howard and Drew talked about the prostate cancer and Drew said that hey don't even check guys over 70 because prostate cancer isn't going to kill them. He said if you're in your 50s then you want to get checked.
Howard asked Drew about what good doody looks like. Drew said that you get to know what it looks like after checking it so much. Howard asked if anyone has moved their bowels when he sticks his finger in there. Drew said he had one guy who was impacted and they tried to help him by giving enemas. Drew said that the whole room ended up getting sprayed when he went in there.
Howard named some of the names of the people who are going to be on Celebrity Rehab. They have Mackenzie Phillips, Tom Sizemore, Heidi Fleiss, Dennis Rodman, Mike Star, Lisa D'Amato, Kari Ann Peniche and others.
Drew talked about Mackenzie Phillips and how people were treating her poorly because she was doing so well in rehab. Drew was also talking about how sick Tom Sizemore was. He said he was in bed for 2 weeks because of the crash from the drugs he was getting off of. Howard asked if they were upset about Kari Ann having her jeans so low that her ass was constantly showing. Drew said they were constantly on her about that.
Howard asked if Rodman was the toughest guy he's worked with. Drew said Jeff Conaway was probably the hardest. Howard said he felt bad for the woman he had to fire over the Kari Ann incident. Drew said it wasn't him who fired her. He said that Selma was fantastic but you just can't touch another patient the way she did.
Robin asked Drew if he had ever had any patient, before Jeff Conaway, that was untreatable. Drew said he's had that a lot. He said there are guys who he thinks are going to be dead and they end up getting sober over time.
Howard took a call from Bong Hit Eric who asked about pot being addictive and if he should be in rehab. Drew said that it is addictive to some people. He said that it might not be addictive to Howard but to others it's very addictive. Howard asked if people go to him for coffee addiction or cigarette addition. Drew said that he does some with the cigarette thing but not coffee. Bong Hit Eric was looking to be treated but only so he could get on the TV show.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has a prescription for medical marijuana. Drew said that almost everyone he treats has a prescription now. He said that it's almost legal in California. Howard said they should make it legal everywhere. Drew agrees with him on that. He said that he's not down on people getting high if they want to. He said he's there to help when they need help though.
The caller asked Drew about the Tiger Woods sex thing. Drew said that it's a big circus. He said that he's got a love addiction and he just can't let them go. Howard said he had to have them all and didn't want to let them go. Drew said it wrecked his life and it's sad.
The caller said there's a sex tape coming out with Tiger in it. Drew hadn't heard about that. Robin said they're trying to figure out if they can put the tape out. Drew said that the guy is just having sex so move on.
Howard asked Drew if he's ever seen big penises in his practice. Drew said he's never really noticed. Howard said that doctors must make a value judgment when they look at guy's penises. Drew said he really doesn't. Drew said you care about the person and not about the size of their penis. Howard said he has to think about it at some point. He asked if he ever giggles about it after seeing a small one. Drew said when he was a resident he would do that but not now. Howard asked if he notices that black guys have bigger penises. Drew said that it's really not something he remembers. He said he doesn't think about that. Howard asked Drew if he would look at his penis and tell him if he's normal. Drew said that might be weird because he's not licensed to practice in that state.
Howard said that he likes the way they get these episodes of the shows going so quickly. They just finished Sex Rehab and now they have this new season of Celebrity Rehab starting this week. Drew told Howard about a new RX Locker product he has out. You can find out more at DrDrew.com.
Howard said he was wondering what Gary is up to that he needs to lock up his meds. Gary came in and said that his brother told him that the best drugs he ever got were out of his mother's medicine cabinet. Gary said he's going to lock the stuff up so his kids can't get to it. Gary said the thing looks like it could be broken open with a hammer but he's going to use it. Drew said it probably could be broken open but it sends a message to the kids that they shouldn't be using it.
Howard told Drew about Gary spying on his kids on the internet. Drew said you have to do that these days. He was all for it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Drew had ever made a guy cum when he was feeling the prostate. Drew said it didn't happen to him but he had a co-worker who had to put a catheter into a guy and the guy came. Howard got a laugh out of that.
Howard started to wrap up with Drew and said that he loves what he's doing with these TV shows. Howard gave him some plugs for Celebrity Rehab that starts this Thursday on VH1. Howard gave him some plugs for the RX Locker (RXLocker.com) and all of that. Drew told Howard to give Artie his best when he sees him. Howard said he will do that. He also mentioned Robin's narcissism test that Drew gave her. Drew told Howard they were just starting to heal over that and he didn't have to bring it up. Robin said that the healing hasn't started with her. She was still upset with him. Robin told Drew not to mention her on the Today Show when he's over there. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked where that version of the song came from. Fred said he had to wait for it to stop to tell. Howard let the song play through and asked if he had time to go pee. Fred said he only had 45 more seconds. Howard said he needed at least a minute and a half. Fred said he could start it over again. Howard said he'll just have to wait and be uncomfortable through the segment.
Howard said he figured that when they did satellite he'd just go pee when he had to go pee and let there be a few minutes of dead air. He said he cares too much though. Robin said with some of the shows they put on there the fans might prefer dead air.
Howard said he saw the trailer for this new vampire movie that's coming out. He said he talked about it a couple of months ago and it looks really good. Howard said the whole planet becomes vampire so they've run out of humans so they were going to start farming the humans. He said it can't be bad with a story like that. Howard said they have the humans hooked up to machines and they're harvesting the blood. He said he hopes the movie is good. Howard said the trailer sucked him in so he has to go see it.
Howard said Jim Cameron is coming in soon so he has to go see that movie Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. Robin said that Scott DePace was telling her that someone took a transcript of the Pocahontas movie and scratched out the names and put in the names from Avatar and it fit pretty well. Howard said he didn't care about that.
Howard played a clip of Jackie talking about the lunch and how it was the most rotten time he's had. He said Howard is a slob when he eats and he's a horrendous looking man and he will never go again. He said Howard can go fuck himself. Howard said Jackie is a weirdo. He said he's kind of joking in a weird way. Howard said he paid for the lunch, not Jackie. Jackie claimed he had paid for it. Howard said he told everyone what went on in the lunch and he's not sure why Jackie is saying he made him pay.
Howard said Jackie's on-air partner said he heard him talking about it and he didn't think it was that bad. Ian told Jackie what Howard said about him and Jackie said Howard talked about the lunch sucking so he figured he'd do the same. He said he and Howard had a nice lunch and Howard decided to say it sucked so he was going to do the same.
Howard said he was trying to explain to Jackie that calling someone a ''Jew bastard'' just isn't funny. He said that's especially true when you haven't seen someone in a long time. He said that it's really insulting and offending to a Jew. Howard said this is why Jackie has problems with people. He said it shows a lot of hostility toward the other person. Howard said he could have said he missed him or something. Robin said it was just to call him a Jew Bastard and it really had nothing to do with his personality or anything.
Howard said you try to explain it to Jackie and he doesn't listen. Howard said Jackie has a lot of anger toward him for some reason.
Howard said Jackie was letting him know he was looking to do more radio time and he might take the show to other channels. Howard said that he has no problem with that but he'd like to hold on to that one hour he does every week.
Howard played the rest of the audio of Jackie and Ian talking about the lunch. Jackie said Howard hit his head on the ceiling and he had a welt on his head the whole time. Howard said he didn't do that. Jackie wondered what was going to happen if Howard replayed this tape of him. Jackie then goofed on Gary for a short time but it wasn't clear what he was talking about.
Howard said he would have liked to have heard what Jackie thought of the lunch for real. He said he never says anything seriously. Fred said that's Jackie's general core and it doesn't seem that he's changed. Fred said he knows he has some work to do on himself but Jackie does too.
Howard said Artie hasn't been there and he was thinking about having Jackie in for a day or two. He said he was going to have a fun time but then figured it would be a bad idea. Fred said he would have remembered the bad times if he had done that. Howard said he was very close to doing that and he was toying with the idea. Fred said a lot of people have suggested that and even he's thought it might be okay. Howard said he'd like to have him in for a day or two. Robin said that wouldn't be a good idea. Howard said it might be fun for the audience. Fred agreed with that but it wouldn't be fun for the rest of them.
Fred said Jackie is going to hear this and he's going to misconstrue that as well. He said that he's going to get emails about it and he's going to get upset.
Howard said he talked to Jackie about Artie and Jackie was telling him that he reached out to Artie because he had to leave the show to get sober. Jackie told him that he's having a great time now that he's sober and he was basically saying that Artie might have to leave the show to get sober too. Howard said the rest of them can stay sober being on the show every day. Howard said maybe that's what Artie needs to do. He's not sure because he doesn't know what's going on with Artie right now.
Howard talked more about Jackie and his inappropriate comments. He said that Jackie might not know better and might call a black guy the N-word when he sits down with them for lunch. He said it seems very angry when he does stuff like that. He said he knows Jackie thinks it's funny but it's really not. Robin said she thinks Jackie does it to get under his skin. Howard wasn't so sure about that.
Howard said Sammy Davis Jr. got that crap from Frank Sinatra and his buddies. Howard said Frank Sinatra sounds like a nightmare. He said it sounds like Don Rickles didn't even like him. Howard said the guy had a bunch of show business friends and they all kissed his ass. Howard said ''fuck Frank.'' He goofed on him for a short time. Howard said Frank sounded like the biggest scumbag on the planet.
Howard said Frank's mother adored him and there were no boundaries with the guy. Howard said he could get what he wanted and then he got famous and rich and he got whatever he wanted. Howard said the guy couldn't beat the shit out of anyone because he was basically a big pussy who had other people beat the shit out of people. All of his friends eventually bailed on him.
Howard said he seemed to be waiting to see where that penis question was going. Robin said that the music made it sound like they were calling back in time.
Howard said the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant has caught on. He said another news program reported on it. He said that the pageant is sponsored by AshleyMadison.com and they have a $100,000 grand prize. Howard said they've had some calls and some people are saying that Tiger Woods may be paying them off to stay quiet about the whole thing.
Howard played the news report where they talked about this pageant they've created. It was from a CW news report. They brought up the pageant and one guy said ''Awesome'' when he heard about it. They got some laughs out of it too.
Howard said he liked the way the chick was holding her vagina. Howard said some of the people thought she was rubbing his cock at the table. Gary said he heard from Will that he looked under the table to see if she was stroking his cock. Benjy said she wasn't stroking his cock. She was rubbing his leg but not his cock. Howard said a lot of women were upset about the behavior.
Howard played Shuli's news report where he interviewed Tracey about Benjy. She was saying that it was disrespectful to everyone there, especially Howard and Beth who hosted the party. Tracey didn't like that the woman, Sarah, was touching herself all night. Tracey went off on Benjy for acting like such an idiot there.
Howard said Benjy turned off some of the gals. Benjy said that's unfortunate because they had a good time. Howard said Beth thought it was a little much and she wasn't too thrilled. Gary said his wife wasn't so happy either.
Gary said as the night went on the girl did get more wild. Howard said maybe some of them were jealous of her in that hot dress she was wearing. Robin said the party was for the people who work on the show and their wives. She said it wasn't about doing an afternoon stripper party. Robin said that it was supposed to be safe for the wives but it turned into a sex party. Benjy said it wasn't a sex party.
Benjy said there were guys who were grabbing at her during the party. Howard said he didn't see any of that. Benjy said they were but he didn't even know a bunch of the people who were. Howard said none of the guys were offended but some of the women were.
Benjy asked if Robin was upset that Brian Phelan was ripping guy's shirts off. Robin said no. She said that he was doing it to guys that he knew.
Fred said he saw Benjy and this girl making out and they looked like they were getting very sexual. He was laughing at it though. Fred said it seemed like he was showing off that he could have a chick that hot. Benjy said he was proud to have her as a date.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he called before the party saying that Benjy was going to cause problems. He said that Benjy is very disrespectful and he brought that skank to a family function. Robin said she's not sure she's a ''skank.'' The caller thought she was. Howard said the guys dug her and the women didn't. Robin said some people were saying that she isn't the kind of girl you take home. Benjy said he does.
The caller also told Howard not to give High Pitch Eric any money today. Howard said he was supposed to call in to play a game today. He said he wouldn't give him money though. That led to Howard talking about Eric being left out of his mother's will. Howard said he asked Eric what the reasons were for that and Eric claims he didn't know. Howard said he knows that's B.S. because he has to know why his mom didn't leave him any money.
Howard said his damn thing can't get a name right. He said he has to get this phone just to see if it works. He said it would do that if it was reliable. Howard said they're saying that the best thing is that you can have any plan with this phone and not just one. He said that's the problem with the iPhone. He said you're stuck with one service. Howard said this phone works with a bunch of services. Howard said the phone is getting great reviews so far. He read a review from Michael Arrington about this Nexus One phone. Howard read the review where they gave some of the details about the phone. Howard ended up talking about the wallpaper feature they have and how most guys just want pictures of a naked chick or some dude's ass as their wallpaper.
Howard said the phone is $529 unlocked and $129 from T-Mobile with a plan. Howard said Jon Hein must want one. He said that Jon knows all of this tech stuff. Jon came in and said the phone looks interesting but you have to wait for the first model to work out the kinks. He said the stuff with the AT&T is out of hand with the iPhones. He said that they stopped selling them for two days because the service was so overwhelmed. Jon said that they're never going to let go of that phone though.
Jon said he'll wait and see how this phone works out. He said he's not going to switch right away because he loves his Blackberry so much. Robin said she doesn't like the small screens on the Blackberry. Howard said he doesn't care that much about that. He said he doesn't use his phone that much for browsing the web.
Another caller said that he talked to Jackie at a movie theater one night. He was going on and on and not making a point so Howard was going to cut him off. He said Jackie told him that the worst thing he had done in his life was leaving the show. Howard said he finds that hard to believe. Howard said Jackie was going to advise Artie to leave the show though. He said he believes that Jackie made a mistake leaving the show but he still has this hostility toward them.
Howard took another call from a guy who was breathing heavy. The guy said he just woke up. He told Howard he was in a coma for a few years and he works full time now. He said he's not asking for money or anything. He was hoping to speak to Dr. Drew about this drug he's on to find out if it's addictive. He said he's feeling really tired. Howard asked why he doesn't speak to his own doctor about that. Howard said he didn't know what this Conserta was. The caller said he was hit in the head by a motorboat so that's why he was in a coma. He said the steering in the boat broke and he got hit in the head by another boat.
Howard said he finds it funny when boats get into accidents because the water is so empty. The caller said he was in a coma for 3 and a half years.
Benjy looked up some info on this Conserta med and found that it can be addictive. He said that they use it for a lot of things. He said that it's like an anti-anxiety pill. The caller said it gives him energy. Howard told him to consult his own doctor over it. He wanted to let the caller go but the guy wanted to keep talking. Howard had to cut him off because he had to roll. Howard said that was Jim from Philadelphia and he didn't care about much of the stuff he was bringing up. He had mentioned he was on the Playboy channel but they didn't find out why. Howard spent a short time talking about that guy and his coma.
Howard said Bubba was pretty good doing the interviews. Eric said they're re-airing the show tomorrow night on Spike. Howard said Eric is very involved in this. Eric said that Jeremy said that Bubba is his new BFF. Howard had no idea who Jeremy was. Eric said he works for TNA.
JD said he thinks that Eric has done some commentary shows on the TNA stuff. Howard said it seems weird for a 34 year old to be so into wrestling. Howard said that it's all acting and they're just trying to make a living. He said it's really long and drawn out stuff about guys beating each other up. Howard said it seems a little gay too. He said there are no girls and it's all guys wrestling in their underpants. He said they don't even really fight.
Eric said they do have some females on the show. Howard said it's mostly about the men though. Howard said they even admit it's not real fighting. He said if someone saw this stuff in porn it would be gay porn. Howard said a lot of gay porn is guys grappling too. He said if they took off Hulk's bathing suit it would be gay porn.
Howard thanked Eric for the call and asked JD if he had any audio of Hulk arguing with the guys. JD said he may have deleted it but he can pull it again.
Howard said he heard Bubba doing an apology on his show for the 1500 tickets that he gave away. Almost every ticket turned out to be bogus. Howard said his fans were spitting on him when he did that. Howard said he can't imagine who these people were who wanted to go to see wrestling so bad.
Howard told Eric he will play more clips. Eric told Howard that there are a lot of celebrities who go to those events. Howard said it's very gay. He said it really is close to being gay porn. He said it's like soft core gay porn. Eric just said ''I... don't know.'' Robin asked what guys are going to those events. He said there are guys like Joey Fatone, one of the guys from Boys2Men and some football and baseball guys.
Howard played a gay porn clip and said that's pretty close to wrestling. He also played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a wrestling show. In that call Sal and Richard were just rambling on and on about the old days and naming every wrestler they could think of.
Howard played audio of Hulk Hogan from the TNA show. He was speaking very deliberately and telling the guys to say what they had to say to him. Howard said they were circling each other and it looked like Hulk was sporting a semi. Howard said it looked like Bruno wrestling with that fat guy. Howard said they have a lot of time between sentences. Howard described what was going on in the clip as it went along.
Robin said it really is like a bad soap opera. Howard said they're in bathing suits and shaved down and he never got that stuff. Howard said back when his grandfather was into it was like a sport and they never admitted it was fake.
Howard played more of the clip and said he's way too far out of the loop to figure out what's going on. He said he can't figure out how to get into the loop either. He said Hulk sounds like he's agitated but it's not clear why. Howard said he should get Eric back on the phone to find out what they're arguing about.
Howard had Jim from Philadelphia back on the phone so he asked him about why he was on the Playboy channel. Jim said he met Jim Florentine when he was up at the studios. He said they had a bunch of Playmates up there at the time. Howard said he couldn't let him go on. He asked Jim if he remembers anything from his coma. Jim said he didn't. He said he didn't see any light or anything like that. Jim said he had lots of support when he came out of the coma. He said that his mom and dad became his best fans when he came out of it. Howard said he didn't understand what this guy was talking about. Jim said all of his friends are gone now and his parents are the only ones who stuck with him.
Howard wondered how they get the doody out of you when you're in a coma. Jim said that they had to put something up there to get it out. Howard said he had to go after that. He said he was sorry he bothered him. Jim said it was no bother. He gave out his Facebook address but I didn't understand what he said. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said it was funny earlier when he kept blurting stuff out when they'd try to say goodbye. Howard said he was getting bored from the second the guy would start to talk. He said they must have Playmates on the show and he got invited down there for some reason. He had no idea what the guy was saying.
Howard got back to the Hulk Hogan clips and played more of that. He had JD come in and try to explain what was going on. Howard got bored with the story. Brian Phelan came in and said that his kid is into that stuff. He said he got bored watching this stuff though. Brian said that they do have some smokin' hot chicks in TNA though. Howard cut them both off and said the whole wrestling thing is beyond him and it's just horrible.
Howard played more of the audio and talked about how gay it was. He said that they have a bunch of guys in bathing suits grabbing each other. Howard made fun of the audience chanting ''Hogan! Hogan!'' too. Howard said Hogan can't possibly be into this stuff. He wondered if Bubba is into it too. JD said Bubba is into it too. He said that he's been talking about this stuff for years. Howard said he's had wrestlers on the show but he's not into the shows. Howard asked if Bubba knows that it's not real. JD said he's not sure about that.
Howard wondered if the crowd was changing ''We are gay'' when they were actually chanting ''T N A'' over and over. Howard played more and more of this awful soap opera with JD sitting in and laughing with that whoop of his. Howard said he noticed around this time that Hulk was getting semi-hard. He played another gay porn clip around that time. Howard said he had enough by then. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about NBC possibly doing something about the Jay Leno fiasco. He said there have been rumors that they're going to cut it down to 3 nights a week. Howard said they could put on a reality show in place of that show and do fine. Howard said that Conveyor Belt of Love is great. Jon Hein said they had a 6.5 rating while Jay Leno had a 4. Jon said that was a one time special and they might bring it back. Howard said it should be a regular show. Howard said if he were NBC he'd just get rid of the whole stupid show.
Steve said they also have a story about High Pitch Eric and his contesting of his mother's will. They found that he may have signed away his rights already. Howard said he might be retarded so that's not hard to believe.
Steve said they have a story about Robin's trip to Guatemala and her concerns with them covering the story with her. Robin said that she might die but she has no qualms about it.
Jon Hein had his Wrap Up Show preview next. He ran down the subjects they were going to cover today on the show.
Steve Brandano also came in with a preview of the intern show. He said they'll be meeting the new interns and talking to the intern who gave Gary the Three Stooges ducks.
Howard said Jennifer Aniston's hair isn't that great either. She's constantly running her hands through it and it interrupts her acting. He said she's probably a nice girl but it's really annoying with her moving the hair all the time. He said it's not fun, it's not funny. Robin does the same thing and he's annoyed with that. He said it's a whole new thing she's into and it's always in her eyes. Robin said it's not like that all the time. He said she doesn't need it because she has a nice face. He thinks that she's doing it because she's trying to say she's sexually wild.
Robin said the guys who have the best hair styles are George Clooney, Mario Lopez and Zach Efron. Howard said they just have regular hair cuts. Howard said Rob Zombie has good hair. Robin told him to stop with that. Howard said Rob's hair is beautiful. Howard said Johnny Depp has great hair too. Robin told him he's very strange. Robin read the list of the worst hair styles too. They spent a few seconds on that.
Robin read a story about a guy who was trying to start a male whorehouse in Nevada. Howard said it sounds like it's going to be for gay men. Robin wasn't sure about that. Howard said he can't wait to see the two female train wrecks that walk in there. He said it's probably going to be all men.
Howard said the number one show on Howard TV is Steve Grillo. He said people love him. Howard read that the ''Private Dance'' shows were doing well too. The Gina Lynn special is doing good too.
Robin read about Casey Johnson's death and how she'll be buried this week. Robin said that they'll have a private funeral for the family. They say that they found no evidence of foul play in the autopsy. Robin said there was no evidence of a suicide either.
Howard wondered if David Letterman remembers that he defended him and said he hoped that Jay Leno would fail when he was on the show. Robin said he probably remembers that. Howard said he won't have him on his show though. Robin said that he can't because of what he's been up to. Howard said he might have to go on Leno if Dave won't let him on.
Robin asked Howard if he has ever hit his kids. Howard said he would never do that. They asked Scott DePace if he ever did that. Scott said he wouldn't do that unless they did something really wrong. Robin said they say that people who remember being spanked as kids are more well adjusted in adulthood. Howard laughed. Robin said some people don't think it should be outlawed. Robin said they found that kids who were spanked did better in school and did more volunteer work. They found the kids who weren't spanked were more aggressive when they grew up.
Howard said he was spanked but it hurt his mother's hand so his dad cut off the bottom of a hanger for her to use instead. He said his father was very helpful with that.
Robin said that NBC has ordered a pilot for Adam Carolla's sitcom. She said that will be about a contractor who is trying to pick up his life after a divorce. Howard said he knew a bit about that before it was announced. Howard said he and Jimmy Kimmel talked about that. Robin asked if he knew the name of their production company. Howard said it's called Jackhole. He said you need a catchy name like that for a production company like David Letterman's ''Worldwide Pants.'' Fred said it turns out he did have world wide pants.
Robin read about the census that's going on and how they have multiple answers for African Americans including ''negro.'' Robin said some people are upset about that. Howard said they asked Sarah Palin about that in her new book. He played the audio book clip that Richard had edited where he had her saying that she's against the black people. Robin said they say they were trying to include everyone, including older people, when they included ''negro'' in there.
Robin said that Diane Sawyer did a news cast with a case of laryngitis just two weeks into taking over that news slot. Howard did an impression of Jackie as if it were Diane Sawyer. Fred got in on that too.
Howard said that Redman O'Neil is back in jail. He was ordered to remain in jail relating to a probation violation. He was arrested again on a felony drug charge on December 29th after getting out of rehab for 24 hours. Howard said that dude has to get his life together. He said his mom would have liked to have seen him pull it together. Robin said that he could end up going to prison for 6 years if he doesn't clean up.
Robin had a story about a woman who was arrested for trying to cut a baby out of a homeless woman. Robin said the woman claimed she was going to get $5,000 for that baby.
Robin read about how most people hate their jobs. Howard said almost everyone hates their job. He said the one guy who doesn't hate his job is his agent Don Buchwald. Howard said Mel Karmazin also seems to enjoy his job. Howard said he doesn't know anyone else who loves their job. Howard said you're supposed to hate your job or it wouldn't be a job. Howard said people ask him if he has fun at work and he says no. He said this really isn't fun to him. He said he doesn't love it. He said he'd rather be doing something else. He said he could be working out, playing chess and stuff like that. Howard said you should hate your job.
Robin read that Yoko Ono is writing her memoirs. Howard said he can't wait to read that. He said it's going to be hard to believe anything she writes.
Howard said Yoko wouldn't have had any success if she hadn't met John Lennon. Robin said she said in an interview 2 years ago that she was going to hold off on writing the book because it might hurt people who are close to the Beatles. Howard said the cover should be Yoko just throwing money in the air.
Robin read some news about the new Google phone, the Nexus One. That phone is going to be available online from the Google store. Robin had audio of a guy talking about the phone and talking about what a big deal it was for Google.
Robin had a story about President Obama coming out with new plans to prevent terrorism. Howard said he wants to see someone fired over that whole thing. He said a guy got on a plane and he could have blown it up. He said no one ever gets fired in government. Howard said that this Napolitano woman said that security worked but it really didn't. Howard said the people on the plane know it didn't work. Howard said they lucked out that his bomb failed.
Robin said that there was a scare at Newark airport and they wanted to go back and look at some security tapes but they weren't recording at the time. Robin said they're going to Continental Airlines to see if they can find tapes of this security breach.
Robin read a story about a model who has hired an attorney in a harassment case against Shaquille O'Neil. She claims that she was harassed by Shaq when she told him she might be pregnant with his baby.
Robin had some audio of Joan Rivers talking about her security nightmare when she was trying to come home to the states from Costa Rica. Howard said he wouldn't want to stay in Costa Rica at all.
Robin read about a pilot who was arrested on a flight last year before they took off because he was 3 times over the limit for flying a plane.
Robin read a story about the new Vampire movie that Howard was talking about earlier called ''Daybreakers.'' She had some audio of one of the stars talking about the movie. They spent a minute on that.
Robin also read about Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez breaking up. She said that they're saying Madonna may have had something to do with that. They ended the show around 10:35am.
Jon said with Dr. Drew today Robin asked if he thinks his show does good for people and drew said he thinks it does. Jon asked Gary if he agrees with that. Gary said he likes Dr. Drew and he recognizes that he's a shrink helping people but also a TV guy making money doing it. Gary said some people think he wouldn't be doing this on TV if he really cared. Gary said he seems to have a good heart and he is trying to help people. Gary said it might be helping people in the audience as well as helping the people in the show.
JD said he agrees with Gary that it helps more the viewers than the people on the show. He said that the people on the show are fame whores and they're doing it for the money and maybe not for the help.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was pretty strung out and he quit just a few episodes into watching that Celebrity Rehab show. He said he saw how stupid they were acting and how he could end up like them. He said he had to look at himself and said enough was enough so he quit.
Benjy asked if he quit cold turkey. The guy said he tried to transfer that addiction to something healthy. Now he's in the gym working out and he's addicted to that instead of drugs. Gary said he can see that because some people who go to the 12 step meetings become addicted to those. He said that's why a lot of people find religion too. Jon said that's one good way of getting through your problems.
Jon asked if Gary would go to see Dr. Drew in his private practice for help. Gary said he thinks that he would. Jon said he couldn't do it because he doesn't want his doctor on TV. JD wondered if they have more credibility if they're on TV. Jon said that he doesn't want his doctor worrying about ratings and stuff. Gary said that Mike Gange was going to a doctor who was on TV all the time. Jon said it just wouldn't sit right with him if it was his doctor. He said their priorities seem a little screwy.
JD said he would have no problem going to that Dr. Oz guy. Gary said that guy is kind of wacky. JD said he seems to know his shit though. He said if someone is on TV and they explain stuff that good then he sees that they know what they're doing. Jon said he's not trying to knock Dr. Drew. He said he just doesn't want to see his doctor on TV.
Jon said that Drew was talking about doing the rectal exams and getting very graphic about that. Gary said his doctor was his neighbor and he sees him around town so it was kind of weird. He said the doctor just pretends that nothing is going on while he's looking at his balls and cock. He said they just pretend nothing is going on and move along.
JD said that he's not looking forward to getting a rectal exam. He said his doctor said that she's going to show him how to check for testicular cancer sometime.
Gary said the most humiliating thing is having a female doctor tell you that you have crabs. He had a rash on his inner thigh for a while and it would come and go. He said that he went to a dermatologist and he had been on the show for like 4 months. He told the doctor he was working for Howard Stern and she said her husband loved the show. Then she looked at him and told him that he was ''infested'' with crabs. Gary said that was really embarrassing.
Gary said he ran home and tried to clean his bed. He said he was still living at home at the time. Gary said he tore the sheets off the bed and put everything in a big bag. He said that he told his mom that she had to wash it in really hot water and didn't tell her what it was. Gary said his father knew what it was and gave him a look. Benjy said he's never had any STDs. JD said he hasn't had sex enough to have had an STD.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Dr. Drew doesn't seem very professional. He said he gives off a weird vibe like he's just trying to make money. Gary said that he thinks the guy is a good hearted guy but he understands why people would be upset about him doing what he does.
Another caller said that he knows they're trying to stay away from the Artie thing but he wants to know what's up with the Facebook stuff. Gary said that he doesn't know what's going on with that. He said that there is a fake Artie Facebook page and he knows that Artie isn't posting anything on there.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about the Jackie thing. He said Howard considered bringing him back. Gary said he wasn't saying he wanted to bring him back as a regular. He wanted to bring him back for one or two days just once. Not every week. The caller said if Howard brought him back he'd get all of his anger out on Jackie and the show would be great in this last year. Gary didn't think that would be the case. Gary said Jackie wouldn't be there long enough to get his anger out.
Gary said they could have some fun with Jackie if he did come on the show. He said they could have him writing jokes again and they'd know when he wrote a joke because Jackie would be hooting and hollering.
Jon asked Gary if he felt that Robin was still upset with Dr. Drew. Gary said Robin may still feel burned by what Drew did to her with that test. Gary said Robin came out and poked Drew about it during the break. Gary said he'd do the same thing. Robin didn't know that she was going to be in a book when she took that test. Gary said they didn't take that test and had no idea it would end up in a book.
Benjy said that he didn't have sex with her and he didn't finger her. He said if anyone actually saw it happening he'd like them to come in and tell him. Gary said Will saw her hand on his balls under the table. Benjy said he wants to hear that from Will's mouth in person. Benjy said that women being disgusted you can't argue with. He said if they felt disgusted then that's fine.
Tracey came in for a quick minute and said that she knows women who saw him fingering her. Tracey said everyone was telling her about what was going on and she didn't tell anyone. Tracey said she wasn't even there the first week back. Benjy said he did not put his finger inside of her at the party. He wants to know one person who saw it.
Tracey said that she's not bringing someone who isn't on the show in there to prove it to him. Tracey said they don't have to be friends and she's not sure why this is a big deal. She said that she doesn't even have to deal with Benjy there at work. Benjy said that she gives him a grunt when she walks by him. Benjy said he doesn't appreciate that. He said that she's like a bulldog with that.
Tracey said that if he wants to call her a bulldog then she can do it in her office. She said that she would cut his dick off if he walked outside with her. She walked out of the studio after that.
Ralph called in and was laughing saying that was the best 2 minutes of the Wrap Up Show... ever! He was laughing so hard he couldn't talk. Ralph went on to talk about how great Benjy's date was at the party. Ralph said she did get crazy and she was doing stuff at the party that wasn't appropriate. He said that he has pictures.
Ralph asked Benjy if he remembers what she was doing. Benjy said they're saying that he fingered her and he didn't. Ralph said that he's also denying that she was acting inappropriately. Gary said people are saying that Benjy was trying to stop her from doing something but Benjy isn't saying what it was. Ralph said the picture he has is of her lifting up her skirt and touching her vag. He said he knows that she's completely shaved and he knows because of the picture he saw. Ralph said there's nothing wrong with this but he has to admit that she was acting like this at the party.
Benjy wanted to see the picture so he told Ralph to send it to him. He said he couldn't send it now. Jon said he had his phone but Ralph said he wasn't going to send it. Ralph just laughed. He said he would send it. Jim McClure was already texting him asking to see it.
Jon asked Ralph if he thought Tracey was in the wrong. Ralph said he would never say that about Tracey. Jon asked Benjy if he has problems with Tracey outside of this problem. Benjy said she seems to treat people in a very mean way at tines. He said that he's not going to stop acting politely with her. He thought she was going to human resources to report him about something but Gary explained that it wasn't about him. She was going there to do something else.
Benjy kept saying that this girl is very nice and he didn't want them coming down on her. Gary said no one is saying she wasn't nice. He said they're just talking about how she was lifting up her skirt and touching herself. Gary said that his credibility is going to be ruined if they see that she actually did this. Ralph said he found the picture and he's going to send it to Jon.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that every time Benjy is on the mic he's annoying and he's always doing shtick. He said it gets really annoying. He did an impression of Benjy doing this stuttering thing when he starts talking and Benjy did it as soon as he started talking.
Ralph sent the picture to Jon and Jon took another call. The caller said there is no picture and Jon isn't going to get it. Jon was staring at his phone waiting for it to show up.
Will said he heard that Benjy was dancing with this girl and he was putting his hands up her skirt. Benjy denied doing that too. Jim McClure said that he saw that.
Jon got the picture from Ralph and told Gary to take over for a minute. He went to show Benjy the picture. Ralph said all of this was going down on stage during the karaoke thing. Gary said Benjy looked perplexed looking at the picture. Benjy said this is when she fell down. The guys didn't believe that. Gary took a look at the picture and tried to describe it. He said the girl was on the couch and her leg was in the air and her hand is on the vagina and her panties are to the side. Benjy's arm is trying to get her leg down.
Gary said that Benjy is obviously trying to stop her from doing that and he's got to admit that. Benjy said that she had fallen down at the time. Gary said she was pulling her underwear to the side! Benjy said that's not what it was. Jon told Ralph that was the best picture ever.
Scott DePace said that he saw the whole thing and she made the night for him. He said that they ended up on the couch behind and it was awesome to watch that going down. He said his wife thought it was a little overboard at the time. He said it was great watching it for him though. Scott said he wants to go on a double date with Benjy and this girl.
Another caller said this is day 3 of the conversation and say that as long as Howard didn't have a problem with it then they don't need to spend this time on it. Gary said that they're taking everyone's opinion on what happened. Gary said Benjy isn't on the hook for anything. He said that Benjy is worried about his standing with other people.
Benjy said that he feels they're being meant toward her. Gary said that's not the case at all. Gary said that they want him to admit that this stuff happened. Benjy said that he wants to see proof of the stuff they're talking about that would upset Howard.
Gary told Benjy to stop talking about everyone else and just talk about this girl. Benjy said he didn't have a problem with anyone else at the party. Gary said Scott was asking him if he thought she was acting crazy. Benjy said she got a little drunk and may have gotten a little crazy but it wasn't that big of a deal. Scott said that she was getting crazy and there's nothing wrong with that if you ask him.
Jon said he wanted to get out of the vortex and move on. They gave Ralph props for his amazing photo. They said that was his greatest work ever.
Benjy asked Gary if he could talk about this thing that he had written down. Gary wasn't sure. Benjy said there were people smoking pot inside. Gary said he didn't see that. Scott said he didn't see it either and he didn't want to mention any names. Benjy said that Howard could have gotten into trouble for that. Gary said that Benjy is deflecting now. He said that they're asking him if he thinks that this girl acted inappropriately. Benjy wasn't answering the question.
Benjy kept asking about the other stuff happening at the party and wondering why they were going off on him. The guys said they're not mad at him or this girl, they're mad about the way he's denying what happened.
Ralph told the guys to check out the picture and look closer. He said there is something interesting going on there. He said it's like the Zapruder film. Jon and Gary said they didn't see anything and said they need a bigger screen. They went to break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a woman who asked why anyone would do that at a company party. The woman said ''showing her vag every 5 minutes...'' Benjy said that she wasn't doing that. He asked the woman if she had a problem with people smoking pot at the party. She said that wasn't an issue with her. Gary said that the manager had to ask the guys to cut it out.
Jon took a call from High Pitch Eric who said that he wasn't happy about what Gary said about him yesterday on the Wrap Up Show. He said Gary said something about his mom's will and he didn't like that. He said he didn't have to make a mockery of it. Gary said that all he said was that Eric's mom disinherited him from her will and he has to know why. He said Eric knows exactly why she did it. Eric said he doesn't know why she did that. Gary said he also said that his family may be embarrassed by the illegal things he's done in the past. Gary said Eric has maybe 10 things on his record that his family is upset with. Eric said maybe he should be given a second chance. Gary said he was given 9th and 10th chances.
Gary said Eric got off on his last charges because of his psychiatrist writing a letter about him that got him off. Eric said he was in Special Ed when he was in school and there is something wrong with him. Jon asked Eric if he's smarter than people think he is. Eric said he is smart.
Gary said he thinks that Eric is smart about doing some stuff and then when he's got to pay the price, he becomes stupid.
Shuli told a story about Eric using money to pay a catering company from an account that had been closed. He said he knew it was closed.
Gary asked about some other stuff that Eric has done that he got into trouble over. Eric said he's going to get his father's will and post that on Facebook like they're doing with his mom's will. Eric asked why they're keeping everything with Artie so secret. Gary said that's more deflecting.
Eric told Gary he's an asshole and he doesn't know the reason his mother left him out of her will. Gary said that if he sat down and thought about it maybe he could come up with some answers. Eric said he really doesn't know what the reasons are.
Gary asked Eric if he would have gotten the kind of money that he could live off of for his whole life. Eric said he doesn't know how much it would have been. Gary asked what his sister says about this. Eric said he didn't ask her about it. Gary said this is where Eric acts slow.
Benjy said he's sorry about his mother passing away. Gary said he was too. Benjy asked if they had a falling out before she died. Eric didn't know of anything like that happening. Shuli said that his family wasn't happy with a lot of the stuff he was doing. Eric said he told them that doing the show is fun. He said that's why he kept doing it.
Steve Langford came in and said that Eric signed a waiver saying he wouldn't get any money. Eric said he did sign it but he didn't know what he was signing. He said his brother and sister made him sign that and he didn't know what it was. He said he doesn't know why he signed it. Gary said he thinks that Eric could win this case. He said that he will go in and say that he didn't know what he signed and the judge will believe that he's incompetent.
Gary said he's just trying to get to the bottom of why his mother was so mad at him. Eric said he really doesn't know the reason. Eric has asked him not to do the story but Steve said that he's tole Eric that they don't take requests. Steve said he's a news man and he's doing his job.
Benjy asked when he signed this paper. Eric said it was at the funeral home. Steve said it was notarized on August 21st.
Gary asked Eric what he's going to have to pay the lawyer. Eric said that was none of his business. Steve said he spoke to the lawyer yesterday and he may have a case. He said that this won't be easy. He said it's going to be very difficult.
Gary wondered why they had Eric sign that he wasn't going to get any money if it was already in the will. No one was sure about why that was.
Eric asked Gary to stop talking about him in a negative way. Gary told him to stop stealing people's money and maybe he'll stop talking about him in a negative way. Eric said he's also not homeless. He has a place to stay temporarily. Shuli said that he's been hopping back and forth with Joey Boots and Bob Levy. Eric said he's staying with Bob Levy right now and he's going to be doing community service too.
Steve asked Eric if he feels that his mother was influenced by his sister and brother-in-law. Eric said that she was on a lot of medication so that's possible. Gary asked when the request was filed. Steve said the will was signed in May of 2009 and she died 2 months later. Gary said he might have a case.
Eric asked Gary to stop talking negative about him. He said he doesn't do that to him. He said that after calling Gary a ''fucking douche.''
Steve said that an attorney is looking into this now and they're trying to find a way around this. He said he's not sure if they have a case or not. Steve said they may approach Eric's sister at some point too. Gary said he tried that once and it didn't go well.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he hates that guy Eric. He said they should give him a bandage for his gums and send him on his way.
Ralph called in and said that he wanted to defend Eric. He said the guy is retarded. Gary said that's what he's been saying. He said that he does know the difference between right and wrong though. Ralph said the guy is very damaged and you just have to look at him to see that.
The guys talked about how some of the wrestling injuries are real and they do get hurt. Jon said that there are a lot of wrestling aficionados on the staff there. Gary said when they bring up the list of names it's all strangers to him. Jon said that he knows most of the names that Richard mentions in the prank call they played today. They said that Will Murray still watches wrestling every Friday night. Gary said he did a signing with Rowdy Roddy Piper one time and that was quite an experience. Shuli talked about some experiences he's had with Iron Sheik too.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that the wrestling thing is kind of gay and you have to know that they're blowing each other in the back. Jon said there may be some gay guys who wrestle but maybe not all of them. The caller said they must have more of an issue than it seems. She also told them to bring Tracey back on the show because she was great. They had to end the show after that.
Howard started the show talking about how he was sitting there listening to a Mariah Carey speech on the internet. He said she was apparently wasted. He said he really didn't know where to begin this morning. There was a lot going on. Howard told Robin about the Mariah Carey speech and said it was very funny. Robin asked how she got that way by the time she got there because she was fine on the red carpet.
Howard said Mariah is strange. He said this was at the Palm Springs Film Festival. He said he actually considered going to a film festival in some country when his movie came out. He had won an award out there and thought about going. He said this must be like one of those film festivals.
Howard said that movie Precious is good but Mariah Carey is in it and her acting performance is probably the worst one in it. He said she was only in it for about 10 minutes but she was no better than any soap opera performance. Howard said anyone could have played the part. Howard said Mariah was standing on stage with the director of the film and she was almost making out with the director. Howard said she goes into some bizarre speech that's really funny.
He said that he also had Tracey yelling at Benjy on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Robin said she just heard about that, she didn't hear it yet. Howard said he might have to give Tracey her own show. He said he needs to give her a show where she straightens people out like Judge Judy does. Howard said one guy said that there's no way she could be in a relationship with a man because she makes everyone's balls shrivel up when she yells like that.
Howard said Ralph took a picture of Benjy's girlfriend at the holiday party when she was doing some stuff. He said he liked the girl at the party and he thought she was having fun. Howard said he saw her touching herself in front of everyone. Benjy said he was upset with Tracey over some stuff she was saying that she had heard from other people. She didn't see it happen herself. Howard said Tracey was upset that this girl was treating the party like a strip club when it was supposed to be a classy party.
Howard said Tracey was upset with Benjy for yelling at her when she started to explain what she saw. Howard just played the audio and didn't bother talking it up. It was pretty self explanatory. He played the clip where Benjy and Tracey were yelling at each other on yesterday's Wrap Up Show.
The two of them went off on each other yelling for a couple of minutes. Benjy said she barks at him like a bulldog and she walked out. They left out the part where she said she'd cut his dick off.
Howard said going off on a woman saying she sounds like a bulldog is the wrong way to talk to a woman. Robin said Benjy doesn't think he was acting inappropriately at the party either. She said that he doesn't know how to argue with people. Robin said there are ways to argue with people instead of calling them names.
Howard said Tracey left and she said she had to go to Human Resources with the interns. Howard said Benjy thought she was going to them over him. Benjy misinterpreted that. He said Benjy then freaked out on the air. He played that clip next.
In that clip Benjy was talking about how he tries to treat Tracey right and now she was going to Human Resources. Gary explained to him that she was going there for the interns.
Gary came in and said that Benjy came to him after the show and he was really upset. He said Benjy asked him to apologize to Tracey for him. Gary said he went to her and she wanted no part of it at all.
Howard said Ralph took a picture of Benjy's date and sent it to the guys on the show. He said it was proof of what Ralph was saying and Benjy was still denying what they claimed the two of them were doing. Howard played that clip where Ralph called in and told them about the picture and then sent it in. You can read all of this in yesterday's write up.
Howard said they felt the picture was Benjy's date lifting up her skirt and touching her vag. He played that part and Benjy claimed it was her falling down. Robin said Benjy is so bad. Benjy asked Howard if he saw that incident happen. Howard said he didn't see it but Benjy said that it was right behind him when they were on stage for karaoke. Howard said the girlfriend had this cute move where she would grab the bottom of the dress, bunch it up and pull it up. Then she'd bunch it by her vag. Howard said that isn't something most women would do. Benjy said he thinks that she was trying to keep the skirt down. Howard said that's not what it was. Benjy said that's what he felt it was.
Howard said he didn't see what was going on but Benjy said that was her falling down when Ralph took that picture. Benjy said he thinks this girl is really nice. Robin said they don't care, that's his girl and he can like her if he wants. Howard said he never saw Benjy fingering her but he heard reports that he was and that she was rubbing his dick and balls. Benjy said there are all of these reports and no one is coming forward.
Howard said Beth even thought that she saw her rubbing Benjy's balls. Howard said he doesn't care. Benjy said he was sorry if it appeared that way even though it wasn't happening. Howard said it was very over the top with the public display of affection.
Benjy said some people have been calling her names since the party and he didn't like that. He said he didn't think what happened at the party was that out of hand. Fred said that no one else was making out with anyone else there. Benjy said that Brian Phelan was ripping shirts off of people and Ronnie was laying on top of his girlfriend. Ronnie came in yelling at Benjy about what he was doing there. He said he wasn't doing anything wrong. He said he was hugging his girlfriend. Benjy said that he saw Ronnie laying on his girl. Ronnie said he was just sitting with her. He said Benjy was full of shit.
Ronnie said Benjy is a fucking asshole and Tracey was right. He said that Benjy was fucking around with his girlfriend and he won't admit it. He said his shtick is burnt out and it's too much. Benjy and Ronnie went back and forth arguing about that. Ronnie said he didn't lay on top of his girlfriend because there was no place to lay down. Ronnie told him there's something wrong with him. He said he's got major issues in his head.
Ronnie said that Benjy is the one who is fucked up. He said it's not the other people and he's dragging them into this. Ronnie said he didn't want to be brought into all of this.
When Ronnie came in yelling he spit out his gum and the guys thought he lost a tooth. Ronnie said it was just a piece of gum.
Ronnie told Benjy not to drag him into this stuff. They were talking about Benjy and he's doing anything he can to get out of it. Howard said Benjy should just embrace it and admit that they had a lot of display of affection that night. He said he can say he didn't finger her but they were making out and stuff. Howard said you just take responsibility. Howard said the girlfriend was very attractive and she's very sexual. Howard said they now know what went on and he shouldn't drag other people into it.
Howard said Benjy should have just said this to Tracey yesterday and just move on. He said he shouldn't have dragged Ronnie into it. Fred said he wasn't just doing it because other people were doing it either.
Howard said all of the guys there liked what was going on and the women didn't. Robin said that's why you don't see women at strip clubs that much. She said they don't like to see that kind of stuff. They were telling Benjy that he should embrace what he did and say that he wishes that he was fingering her and sticking his thumb up her ass. Howard told him to stop denying it.
Benjy said that he was just comparing what he was doing to what other people were doing. Howard said that girl is very sexual and she likes being provocative. He said it's impressive he can have a girl like that. Howard said the fact that he goes home and reads children's books to that girl is impressive to him. He told Benjy he's got some action going and it's the first time in his life. He said he's being seen as sexual. He said he's like Warren Beatty in Shampoo. He said he's a pudgy Warren Beatty. Fred said he's like a Warren Beatty that fell into a trash compactor. Howard said he's got a ski cap on too and that's very odd. He said he was wearing that with his suit at the party too. Howard said Benjy is in a whole new league. He's like a splotchy skinned Mick Jagger. Fred said he was like a George Baloony.
King of All Blacks called in and said that he thinks Gary and Ralph were jealous of Benjy. Howard said they may have been. He said that the guys saw her doing stuff and Ronnie went up and danced with her and she straddled him. Howard said Benjy felt he was losing control of his girl so he stepped in with her and Ronnie. Howard said Benjy was hovering around them and he had to tell Ronnie it was enough. Benjy said the only reason he was hovering was because he thought it was going to get out of control and Howard would get upset.
Howard said Ronnie was working his mojo on her and she jumped on him and he was holding her in his arms as she straddled him. Howard asked Benjy if he could handle her. He told Ronnie to let her go back to Benjy because Ronnie had her under his spell. He helped Benjy out with that and got his girl back to him. Howard said he'd probably never had that kind of attention at a party before.
Benjy started to argue with Howard about not feeling jealous of Ronnie. Howard said he was jealous. Benjy kept arguing and Robin yelled at him to stop it already. Benjy wouldn't stop arguing so Howard said he was done with this subject.
Howard said the date was dirty dancing with Ronnie and Benjy was staying within 3 inches of them and he was staring at them like a mental patient. Benjy said he wasn't jealous. Howard said that's well noted. Howard said Benjy was being humiliated and he tried to help the guy. The Howard TV guys had some video of that so they put it up for them. Howard explained what was going on and they were just dancing. Benjy said he was fine with all of that. Howard said she put her legs around him and Benjy tried to grab her away and he wasn't able to. Howard said he stepped in and helped out. Benjy said that Howard glossed over everything what was going on. Howard said he was done with it.
King also asked about the cat that Beth is getting this week. Howard said the cat is coming today actually. King said he thought he didn't like cats. Howard said he likes cats but he really didn't want to get one. He said that Beth wanted one so he's going along with it. He wouldn't usually do this himself. He said that if she wants to get another dog then he's going to have to put his foot down.
Howard said he didn't get home until 7:30 last night with all of the stuff he has to do. Howard said he came home grumpy and he's just angry when he gets home. He said then he has to go walk the dog and if they have a couple of them then he's going to be out of there.
King was telling Howard that he knows you can't let a woman talk to you the way Tracey did to Benjy. He said he would never let a woman talk to him like she did. Howard said if you're a man you don't let it escalate. Howard said Benjy could have handled it better than he did.
King was talking more about the Benjy thing but Howard said he didn't want to go there again. King said that he thinks that Gary and those guys were jealous of Benjy and the girl. Howard said they weren't jealous, they found it funny that Benjy won't admit that something funny was going on. Gary said that his wife asked if they talked about the ''ho bag'' on Monday. Howard said that women like that don't like what Benjy's date was doing. Benjy said that she wasn't doing anything wrong though. Howard said that's what girls think. He said they don't roll with those kind of girls. They don't like it. He said that's the kind of behavior they don't like.
Howard said the bottom line is that they don't like it and they look at girls like that as ho bags. Benjy said that she was very nice at the party. Gary said she was very nice but she was acting wild too.
Howard told Benjy that she was acting provocative. Robin said she wasn't acting provocative and beat Benjy to the punch with that.
Benjy said that she's a nice girl and she does have a wild side but he doesn't like people calling her names. Howard said that's what's going to happen if a girl acts a certain way. Benjy said she didn't like being called names.
Robin said that she decided to put herself out there to be critiqued. Benjy said it was the way things were set up there that led to her being that way. Gary said that they could have kept it low key but they brought it to a level that had to be noticed. Gary said they weren't waiting for her to go nuts, she just went nuts.
Benjy finally got it and said that she's a firecracker and that's just the way they roll. Howard said that's the way he should answer from now on.
Gary said he has no beef with the girl. He has a beef with Benjy and not even really with him. Robin said that the party was supposed to be ''wife friendly'' and that's what they were warning Benjy about before the party. Fred was wondering what would be inappropriate in Benjy's mind. He said that it might be taking 10 foot dildos and ramming them in.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Benjy is the best thing to happen to the show. Robin said it was the best thing for that party.
Bobo called in and said that they have to give a thumbs up to Doug Goodstein who brought his camera there. He wanted to know when they were going to see the photos of Benjy's girlfriend. Howard said she's been on Howard TV two times already. Doug said that they put the show up last night with some pictures of her.
Howard let Bobo go and read some email about Benjy. He had a bunch of mail about Benjy's behavior and how wrong it was for him to do what he did. The fans found it hard to believe that he acted the way he did. There were some people who said that Benjy was a disgusting creature on the show and he shouldn't be getting chicks like that.
There was also some mail about JD and his beliefs that he can get hot chicks. The writer blamed porn for that because watching too much of it can make you think that you can get hot chicks like he wants.
Howard said Mariah insinuates that she might be drunk when she was on stage. Howard said if you're going to accept an award you don't show up high. Howard said there's a special arrogance when you get up on stage for 3 minutes to talk to the people. He played the clip and Mariah was talking to the director and hugging and kissing the guy like she just won an Academy Award. Howard said she's smelling success with this award. He laughed at that.
Howard listened to the audio and Mariah was slurring her speech a little bit. She told the crowd she was a ''little... yeah...'' and got some cheers from the crowd. Howard said this is what it sounds like when you pick up a drunk chick. He said if they're hot you can put up with that no problem.
Howard said she's an insufferable bore. He said she was a bore and very arrogant up on stage. She was talking about how someone made her read the book that became the movie and how she cried and cried. Howard goofed on her for a minute and then got back to the audio.
Mariah was saying she read the book twice and cried her eyes out each time. She was having a whole conversation about the movie and book on stage and not just taking the award. Howard said Mariah was so not a part of this movie. She was in it for a few minutes. Robin said they could cut her out of it and the movie would still be great.
Howard said it was so arrogant to make people listen to this drivel. He played more of it and Mariah was speaking really slow and dragging out her speech. She was having the director back up what she was saying like it might not be believed.
Howard said he found her role the most distracting because they just put her in it without make up. Mariah goes on to talk about meeting Helen Miren there and the audience wasn't doing anything. Howard said she should have gotten the fuck off the stage if she wanted to impress Helen Miren. He said that she's boring everyone and telling them what she reads and watches.
Mariah goes on to explain how she got the part and she wasn't able to complete a thought. She kept stopping and asking what she was talking about. Mariah said they told her that they were going to reinvent the way she looks and works. Howard said it was so nothing, her thing. Howard kept interrupting the clip and goofing on Mariah about her ridiculous speech.
The audience started to applaud so Howard and Robin figured they had them do that to get her off stage. Howard said you'd think that she just won an Academy Award with that speech. Robin said you'd think it was Mo'Nique accepting the award.
Howard said that was a nice speech, way to go. Howard wasn't sure what got into her but maybe she should have thanked Vodka for the award.
Howard took a call from a guy who threw out a Baba Booey for him. That led to a new song parody that they did to a Lady Gaga song. The caller said that Mariah sounded drunk to him and it had to have been Vodka or something like that. Howard said Mariah is looking very washed up these days. He said she somehow resurrected herself after wandering the streets but now people are going to think she looked so stupid.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Mariah was giving a fuck you to Helen Miren because she backed out of the movie at the last second and Mariah got the part. Howard thanked him for that call. He said it might have been a better move to get Helen.
Howard read some more mail about Tracey and Benjy and their fight. People were asking Howard to stop letting Benjy on the show. There were others saying that Tracey should be on the show more often. Howard said one guy was very scared of her and said she can't possibly have a boyfriend or husband. Howard said there are some detractors out there. He said most people love her though.
Howard said one guy wrote in about JD's lack of ability to tell a story. The guy says that his 2 year old daughter speaks more intelligence than JD does and she can hardly say anything. Howard said JD does have a problem telling a story but that's his charm.
Howard he doesn't know what to think about all of this. He's angry and sad and all over the place emotionally about it. He said he doesn't know what kind of scumbag tells the story to the paper. He said the person was probably paid like 10 bucks to put the story out there. Howard said he's not sure what to say about the whole thing. He said that it's mind boggling what went down.
Howard said he doesn't want to say the wrong thing about it or exacerbate the situation. Howard said it's a family matter and he's not sure what to say. He loves Artie and he wants people to remember how great the guy is. Howard said everyone has their demons to deal with... except Fred. Howard said they all have their demons including himself. Howard said Artie is wrestling with a lot of stuff and he only wishes him well.
Howard said he's hesitating reading the story. He said he's not sure what to do or what to say. Robin said they're too close to the story to talk about it rationally.
Howard said that he's not sure if he should read it or not but the story is out there now. He said maybe they should comment because everyone else is going to be commenting. Robin said that they're going to get blamed for it of course.
Howard started to read the story from Page Six but cut himself off. He said he felt too weird reading it. Howard said he's not going to talk about it. He didn't know what to do in that situation. Howard said there's nothing to do. Howard said his demons run deeper than he thought they did. Robin said everyone has demons and you never know what's in their head. Howard said he knew what was going on and saw what people were saying on SternFanNetwork. He said that really upset him. He said it made him sick because he knew what was going on with Artie.
Howard said the reason he hired Artie is because Norm MacDonald had brought him in with him a couple of times and he was a fan of the show and he told some great stories. Howard said he was telling them reluctantly in a charming way. He said Artie would say he didn't want to talk about it but then he'd tell these stories. He said he loved Norm but Artie was great when he'd come in with him. Howard said when Jackie left the show he had Artie come in and sit in the chair while all of these other comedians were coming in. Howard said Artie would sit in the chair and he didn't feel he had to be ''on'' every second. He liked that about him.
Howard said Artie wasn't a writer like Jackie was so he would kind of sit there and chime in once in a while. Artie knew that he didn't have to rain on the chemistry of the show. He said that he fit himself in that wasn't obtrusive. He said that wasn't easy for him either. Howard said he didn't want this to sound like a eulogy because Artie is still alive.
Howard said Artie knew how to fit himself in on the show and that isn't an easy thing to do. Robin said that they knew that Artie was incredible and he fit right in with them. Howard said he had great admiration for Artie's talent and the way he fit in on the show. Howard said he never had to sit with him and tell him how the show worked. He said if you have to do that then the guy isn't right for the show. Robin said most people needed some kind of guidance.
Howard said the only other guy who was like that was Jimmy Kimmel. He said he had his TV show going though so that wasn't going to work. Howard said Artie had, had it with Hollywood so he wanted to be near his family and friends living in New Jersey. Howard said he was lucky that Artie was wiling to do the show. He said he was the lucky one to have Artie come in.
Howard said the people who were being so mean about Artie seem to have forgotten about how Great Artie is on the show. He said they've forgotten about all of the great moments.
Howard said it's been very trying to remain loyal to Artie but he has done it. Howard said that some people don't think it's right that he wouldn't show up for work and stuff but he had a real problem. Howard said he wishes Artie well but he hasn't spoken to him. He said that Robin and Tim have spoken to him. Howard said he's freaked out and doesn't know what to do. He said if Artie wants to talk to him then he'll call him. Robin said he's not at that point yet. Howard said he's sure Artie will be able to call at some point.
Howard said this is too much. He said his thoughts go to his mother and sister because this stuff is mind blowing. Howard said he's been really down about it.
Howard said that they haven't spoken much about it off the air because no one was sure who knew what. Howard said he's told Artie what he thinks he needs to do and he has to let him do his thing. He said he's a grown man and he has to do what he has to do. Robin said that they're very close there and this kind of thing is very upsetting. Robin said she loves everyone she works with and it tears her heart out when someone is going through pain like this. Howard said the whole thing is a mess and he's not sure what to do.
Robin said that they've had people call in and tell them that they're heartless but they just don't want to talk about it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Artie is the greatest thing to happen to the show. He said that when Jackie left the show it was a loss. He said he was a star. Robin and Howard said they can't compare the two. The caller said he felt Artie was the greatest addition to the show but he's had his ups and downs.
The caller said that he hasn't read the article yet but he's glad that Howard can set it straight. Howard said it's really mind blowing to him and he can't even bring himself to read it on the air. Howard said they're like family and they don't know what to say about it.
Another caller said that he appreciates the way he has handled this whole thing. Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she hopes and prays that Artie will get better. She said that she can't believe what's going on. She was sick to her stomach over it. She hopes that he can come back eventually and tell them that he's doing well. Mariann said that she and Artie had this love hate thing going but she never expected this. She said she's heart broken over it.
Howard said today might be sad day because Charlie Murphy is coming in and his wife just died a couple of weeks ago. He said that it wasn't a great day today if you're looking for an up kind of show. Howard said he's been thinking about Artie since they got back from vacation and it's been weird not talking about him. Robin said they were staying positive and it made her feel better. She said they were thinking of the good parts. Howard said it's a miracle he's alive. He wasn't sure how well he was doing now. Robin said he's doing well physically from what she knows.
Howard took a call from a woman who was crying over the article. She wondered if there was an address to send cards to. She was very upset and she loves Artie. Robin said they could send letters to them and they'll get them to Artie. Howard said that'll give Fafa Fooey something to do. Howard said it's best if they don't send them there because Gary's head will explode.
Howard forgot that Gary has Medicated Pete to help him. Howard said they kept Pete around as an intern but they don't know what to do with him. Pete came in and said that he's been answering phones. Howard said that's wild that he's answering the phone. Gary said they have people calling in on the regular line and Pete is one of the gate keepers. He said Pete kept asking him if he needed anything the first day he was doing that. He said it's gotten better.
Howard asked Pete if he could handle the Artie mail. Pete said he'd do what he could but he didn't know where to send them. Howard said when Pete was there last semester they had him with Scott the Engineer but now they don't know what to do with him. He said he lingers around Jon Hein a lot and it might be getting to him. Pete said Jon is a cool guy.
Howard said they could have Pete do grief counseling for the Artie thing. Pete said he wouldn't know what to say to anyone. He's only there 2 days a week now. He's there on Mondays and Thursdays. Pete said that people are recognizing him out there now and he's trying to get some stuff going. He has a web site now and he's getting a lot of hits.
JD came in and said he got an email about Pete getting thrown out of a bar for sticking his tongue out at a girl. Pete said he over indulged a little bit and got a little crazy at the local tavern. He doesn't even remember doing it. He said he was at this Globe Hotel and got a little rambunctious from what he was told. Pete said they all know who he is there.
Howard asked Pete about his new t-shirts that he's going to be selling. Pete said they haven't come up with a logo yet. He's working with Beetlejuice's manager about getting booked at places too. Howard said he should have a plain white t-shirt that doesn't have any logo on it. Howard told Pete it was good to have him back.
Howard spent a few minutes trying to find out what Pete does during the week. Pete said he sleeps in late and then he'll get dressed and have some t-shirt meetings. He said he'll go in and put in a few hours on that. Pete said he got to call some chick and he had coffee with her yesterday. Pete told them how he met this girl and said he got to help her out. He said she's cute. Pete said she's taller than he is and she's pretty cool. Pete said he helped her out and he got her number. Pete said that it went well too.
Pete told Howard that she told him that she just got out of a bad relationship so he's not sure if it's going to work out.
Howard came back and said that Charlie Murphy was coming in to promote his new book (The Making of a Stand-Up Guy). Robin said he was wearing mink. Charlie said he's only wearing that because it's cold outside. He also said that the whole not wearing fur things doesn't apply to black people. He said no one is going to throw paint on him. Howard asked how he justifies wearing the mink. Charlie said he doesn't. He said he just went and bought the coat, he didn't kill the animal himself. He said that he also eats chicken so he doesn't see any difference.
Howard offered his condolences to Charlie about his wife's passing. Charlie said that she was an amazing woman and he found out that the arrangements were already made for her when she was gone. He said she did that all ahead of time. Charlie said he doesn't know how he would have handled it himself. Howard said that's wild that she took care of him like that.
Howard asked how many kids he had with her. Charlie said he had two kids with her and 4 all together. The kids with her are 3 and 10. Charlie said it hasn't been easy but it has been doable.
Howard said he read that Charlie didn't start stand-up comedy until he was 42. Charlie said that he had to just go out and do it. He said he didn't set his sights high either. He said he just wanted to go up and see if he could be in front of an audience and express himself. He said he wanted to do what he could before someone fired a round at him.
Charlie said he did 15 minutes the first time he went on stage. He didn't even prepare for it. Charlie said he wasn't going to let anyone embarrass him. He said he would do anything he could to stop that from happening.
Howard said he knows this guy Ron Zimmerman who used to do really dark material and he had a guy in the audience come up on stage and fight with him. He said it was the greatest stand-up so he had to have him on the show. He said Ron had to get out of comedy because he was getting into fights so much. Charlie said you can't keep up the fighting for long because you have to keep the clubs filled. You can't chase everyone out with a fight.
Howard said Charlie went on to do the Chappelle show after that. Charlie said that you have to believe in god after going through all of that. Charlie said he's on his 9th year of doing stand-up and it's going well.
Howard said that Charlie's wife suffered from cancer for 2 years. He said that he must have had a hard time doing the comedy thing. Charlie said he had to reconfigure some stuff in his life but he was able to do it. Robin said it has to be tough raising a 3 year old now. Charlie said that God wouldn't have put him in this situation if he didn't think he could handle it. Charlie said that his wife had cervical cancer. He said that's apparently common. She was only 40 years old.
Charlie said his wife told him what was going to happen and he didn't want to hear it. He said he didn't want to believe it. He said that he figured that she wasn't that sick and they'd come up with some kind of cure. He said he's got a nanny taking care of the kids now. He said that he has to go out and work so he has this Nanny working for him. He said that he's not gone very long when he goes out on the road now.
Charlie said that he has a stand-up special coming out in February. He said that's another chapter in his life that he's finished. He said that he had to get that footwork in to make it possible for him to keep doing what he does.
Howard told Charlie that really blows that he lost his wife. Charlie said that she went through a lot of pain and suffering so the one positive thing is that she's not suffering anymore.
Howard gave Charlie a plug for his book The Making of a Stand-Up Guy and his Comedy Central special that's coming in February. Howard read some stuff from his book where he talks about farting in front of Michelle Pfeiffer the first time he met her. Charlie said it wasn't in front of her, he went to a secret place to fart. He said hew as working on a movie with his brother and Michelle. He said that he didn't want to fart in front of her so he got off the trailer and went to the back of the lot behind some trailers. He said he thought no one was around and let it go. He said it was really ripe and when he turned around Michelle was right there. He said her eyes watered up from the smell.
Howard read that Charlie was only paid $500 per episode for the Chappelle show. Robin couldn't believe it was so little. Charlie said that they are airing his comedy special in February so he's not going to bad mouth them right now. He said he did get the money for that show so he's not going to say anything bad about them. Charlie said they did him a favor by letting him be on that show. He had never had that opportunity before. Charlie said he was able to get into some stuff where he made a lot of money so he's glad they gave him that chance.
Howard asked Charlie if he would go on Saturday Night Live if they asked him to. Charlie said he absolutely would take that job. Howard asked if they've approached him. Charlie said they haven't but that's not a big deal. He said he's working and getting paid so that's fine. Charlie
Howard read that Charlie and Eddie once got into a fight and didn't talk for 3 years. Charlie said he doesn't even remember what it was over. He said they may have been debating something in the news and they both refuse to back down so it escalated into something that had nothing to do with the initial argument. He said it became who had the bigger balls. Howard asked if it was because he farted in front of his co-star. Charlie just laughed.
Howard asked Charlie about some of the other stuff in the book. He read that Charlie's father was killed by his girlfriend. Charlie said that his mother was remarried at the time. He said he told his son that when he was 10 he lost his dad. He said that's what happened to him when he was 10 when his father was killed. He said it was similar with his son and his mother. Charlie said he's able to help his son get through it because he went through something similar when he was his age.
Howard said Charlie grew up in Roosevelt Long Island and he did too. He said that it looks pretty but then you go there and see what it's really like. Howard said he didn't go back to the neighborhood since they moved out until he did the 60 Minutes interview. Howard said he went back and it was very weird going back. Howard said that his friend tried to go back but they'd go running out of there.
Howard and Charlie shared some stories about what it was like living there. Howard said Charlie was in the 5 percneters and that reminded him of what it was like for him as a kid. Howard said he had guys in his class who were in that club and they used to steal his pants and stuff. He said he would shit his pants when they'd do stuff like that. Charlie told him what it was like being in the group and how he got into it. He said he learned a lot from it but he continued to evolve. He said it wasn't going to work for him because he's not a racist. Charlie said no one has to earn his respect, they have to earn his disrespect. Charlie said that's why he's not part of any one religion. He said that he believes in God but he doesn't believe that it's just one specific religion.
Charlie talked about going to school in Roosevelt and how he was one of the outcasts in the school. He said that they were new to the area and he had to fight to establish himself in the pecking order. Charlie said they didn't even think much about it back then. There would be kids waiting outside with chains and bats and the principal would never think about calling the police. The guy would watch out the window.
Howard said he had similar things happen to him. He said he was choked and almost passed out and the teacher threw chalk at him for disrupting the class.
Charlie said that a lot of the kids he grew up with are dead now. He said the guys who lived went to prison. Charlie said he had one friend who is still around but he had a different way of living. He said he's really laid back and he never got into any trouble.
Howard said he still wonders why his parents didn't move out of that area quicker. He said that he'd never want his kids to stay in a dangerous situation. Charlie said some people's first house is their dream house and they don't want to let it go. Howard said that dream house was his nightmare.
Howard gave Charlie another plug for his book and Charlie got in a mention for his web site CharlieMurphyComedy.com
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Charlie about his brother Eddie and why he got into comedy while Charlie was getting into trouble. Charlie said he was older and his brother had a good example to see what not to do. He said he may have helped save his brother. Howard said it's interesting to read about the brother of a guy who became famous. He said that's what's great about Charlie's book. He said that Charlie eventually found his way after being the black sheep of the family.
Charlie said his life has been a true journey. He said that he had some really low points in his life and going to jail was part of that. He said he had lower points in his life after jail. He said he was waiting to be harvested. Howard didn't get that. Charlie said he was hanging around bad people and had negative people around him. He said that draws negative stuff to you.
Charlie talked about how he got arrested for robbery of a cab driver. He was just 17 at the time. He said they got him for probation violations and stuff like that too. Charlie talked about the guys he was hanging around with and how the cops knew that they were up to something when they saw them walking around the streets at 3 in the morning. They heard about the robbery and the description of the suspects. They knew who they all were and everyone got ratted out by one of the guys.
Charlie said that the way they get guys to rat people out is by buying them a Big Mac. He said that there are probably a lot of people in jail because of a Big Mac.
Charlie said he did jail time for that robbery thing. He got bailed out and he had to go to court over it. They gave him a second chance since it was his first offense. Charlie said his mother told him not to get into trouble and he kept getting into trouble so that's why he ended up in jail. He had to go in for 10 months. He said it wasn't so bad because all of his friends were in there. Charlie said they still have poems on the walls there that were written by him.
Charlie said that his mother packed up a bunch of stuff for him and kicked him out of the house. He said he never went back home after that. Charlie said that was scary for him. He said that he was only 17 and there are guys who are 27 who still live at home these days. He said that they have it good. Howard asked if he fell into more crime after that. Charlie said he went out and tried to be straight. He said he got a job but his personality lost him that job. He said they had him with crew of older guys in their 40s. He said that he wakes up in a happy mood and the old guys were trying to wake up. He said he'd talk about their false teeth and big shoes and they'd hate that. They didn't want to work with him anymore so they had to let him go.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Charlie about the Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen stuff. Charlie said that Tiger Woods is different than the Charlie Sheen thing. The caller said you don't know what the chick did in that story. Charlie agreed that there are two sides in the story.
Charlie was also talking about how he watches golf just for Tiger Woods. He said he thinks that most people are the same. He said that golf has exploded in popularity because of Tiger Woods. Charlie said they're not watching it because he's a great dad or a great husband, they're watching it because he's a great golfer. He said that the sponsors bought into that and not about him being a husband and father. Robin said she didn't agree with him about that. Charlie said there is no such thing as a perfect man. He said that no one is perfect or ''the man in white'' and no one should buy into that. Robin said he shouldn't have sold himself as that person.
Charlie said Tiger shouldn't have been married. He said if you have that kind of money at that young age, don't get married. Howard asked if he's saying he won't get married again. Charlie said he's not 21 years old and he's not some young dude with wealth. He said he might get married again some day because he's not that young guy.
Howard asked Charlie if he has dated women of all races. Charlie said that he has done that and he did it when he was in the Navy. He got to travel and see women all over the world. Charlie said that they're all the same color in his mind. Charlie was also saying that his loads have gotten bigger as he's gotten older and he can hit the headboard with them.
Howard wrapped up with Charlie a short time later. He gave him some more plugs for the stand-up special and the book. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Curtis Sliwa was there and he has a new morning show he's supposed to be doing. Curtis came in and said that he saw Robin giving him the eye when he came in. He said she ran past him in the hall and he wasn't feeling the love. Robin said she just had to get back into the studio. She said she said hi to him.
Howard said he was glad to see that Curtis has a new show to do in the morning. He said they have a lot to talk about since Curtis was displaced by Imus. Howard said that Curtis was in this Guardian Angel group and he always felt safe when they were around on the subway. Howard said that Curtis and a bunch of buddies from McDonald's decided to start the group. Curtis said he was working in the Bronx and he had to take the 4 train back to Brooklyn after work. He said that was a very dangerous train to take. He said that he stayed in the last car and he'd be in his McDonald's outfit on. He said he'd read the paper on the way back home and guys would be singing and having a good time in the car. He said that everyone would be eyeballing everyone else. Curtis said they'd give him a look.
Curtis said he'd get into fights on the train and he'd thump guys up before they could start in with him. Then the cops would show up and he'd say he made a citizen's arrest. Curtis said the cops didn't like him and he got arrested 76 times.
Howard asked if they still have the Guardian Angels around. He said they're all over the world now. They just opened up in Seoul Korea. Curtis said that they're all volunteers and they are targets. He said that a few have been shot and killed. He said he was shot himself.
Howard asked Curtis about being shot. He asked about his on-air partner not taking his side. Curtis said he had 5 hollow point bullets shoot him down in the genital area. He said they were trying to send a message to him. Curtis said that this guy got the contract from the Gotti family and he ended up fighting the guy and he tried to jump out into speeding traffic. He said the handle popped off and he got shot a third time. He said he was shot in the legs, the three piece set and more. He said that his penis works sometimes but not all the time. He said the internal plumbing had to be reversed so he curses the Gotti name every time he has to go to the bathroom.
Howard asked Curtis how bad the injury was. Curtis said he had to wear a colostomy bag and it takes months to get any feeling back down there. Curtis says his second marriage was ruined because of that. He was married to Lisa for a while but they did the morning program together and that was the worst idea. Curtis said that they were talking about issues and you learn that your spouse thinks about stuff in ways you didn't know. Curtis said that Lisa is a street reporter for the local FOX affiliate now. He hasn't spoken to her for a long time now. He said that they were together for 11 years and he ended up sleeping on a park bench for a while. He ended up falling in love again and got married for a third time.
Howard asked Curtis about how many times he's been in an altercation on the subway. He said it's been hundreds of times. He's been in some fights where he got his ass beat though. Howard asked if he laughs at the ultimate fighting stuff. Curtis said he never laughs at guys who get in the ring. He said that he's been in the ring and he's had his bell rung. He said that you can feel your brain falling when that happens. He said it takes a lot of machismo to get into the ring.
Howard asked Curtis is there's something missing in him like a fear gene. Curtis said he was crazy to go into the subway when he would get into the back car. He said that there's something there and it was crazy. Robin said it is kind of Charles Bronson-ish.
Curtis talked about the Gotti family and how they have this long standing feud. He said he grew up in the same area of Brooklyn that they did and they have had this feud going on for the longest time.
Howard asked if his mother was the one who led him down the right path. Curtis said that his grandfather would stand up to guys at the age of 85. He said that his grandfather would take him to the police station to turn people in because he wasn't afraid of them. Curtis said that the cops thought he was a crazy man.
Curtis told Howard about going to school and how his father didn't want him going with the kids he was living near. He said he was sent to this school in another part of the city and there was a public school right near by that got out 15 minutes before they did. He said that those kids would come after him.
Howard asked Curtis to explain to him why his on-air partner, Ron Kuby, didn't stand up for him. Curtis said that he had to go up and testify for him in court and that was the end of it. Curtis said the guy was the man of honor at his wedding and he's not sure why he did what he did. Curtis said that he refused to testify on his part. He said he had to continue doing radio with Kuby because he had a contract. Management told him that they'd fire the guy if he waned them to. Curtis said that he just had to suck it up and do the show. Curtis said he hated every second in the studio with the guy.
Curtis said that when Fahrid Sulemon bought the station they started to hear the rumors that Imus might be coming there. Howard said he wanted to hold off on the Imus stuff. He wanted to know if he got to talk about what was going on in his head about Kuby. Curtis said that they didn't talk to each other off the air. He said that Kuby told him off the air that the case wasn't about him. Curtis said he was shot up and he was lucky to have survived and this guy was telling him it wasn't about him. Curtis said that Kuby has represented the Gotti family before so he couldn't step up the way he should have.
Howard asked Curtis about how he was fired from WABC and they brought Imus in to replace them. Curtis' show was beating Imus in the ratings before that happened. Curtis said that they were beating him good too. Curtis said he didn't like Imus but he went on and defended the guy about how he should be able to say whatever he wants to on the air. He said he didn't have to cave in to that Al Sharpton for what he said.
Howard said he saw Imus walk up to a secretary and call her the N-word. He said that he and Robin wondered how management let that go on but they just turned away and let him do his thing. Howard said when that whole thing went down with Imus he said he was a racist. Imus went on Larry King and said he probably did say those things that he and Robin had accused him of. Howard said the thing that aggravates him is this ranch Imus started. He said he thinks that it was a summer home and he had his listeners pay for it.
Howard asked Curtis about being replaced with Imus. Curtis said they didn't let them stay. He said they kept them on the air for 3 months and then they announced Imus was returning. Curtis said they took Kuby into the room and took him out. He said it was like taking Fredo out on the boat and putting two bullets into his head. Curtis said that's not the right way to do things. Curtis said he figured that there would be a phone call from the Wizard of Oz when Imus came in there. Curtis said that Imus is like Geritol times two. He said he needs to take a bath in Ben Gay.
Howard said he saw Imus out on the street one day and he looked like his Taunta Helen. Curtis said he looks like a corpse in formaldehyde. Curtis said he never got a call from Imus when he took over that show. He said he believes that Sharpton was paid off to keep quiet when Imus got back on the air. He said Sharpton never said a word about it when Imus started.
Howard asked Curtis about what he thinks about Imus getting lower ratings than he ever did. Curtis said that he feels bad for the people who work over there. He said the sales people get paid on commission and they can't be making the kind of money they were making when he was there. He said Imus wouldn't even help them if they were on fire in the middle of the street. Howard said a lot of radio people are hostile toward the sales department. Curtis said that he's had people tell him that sales is trying to steal time from the show with their ads. Curtis said that he was with a woman who used to cry at night when she'd get back from working at radio stations doing sales. He said that if you, as a radio guy, can't sell ads then you have no business being in radio.
Howard said he had sales people tell him that they couldn't sell the show. He said he started with Mel Karmazin and the sales department sold his show out. He had to find the right guy to sell his show and that's what happened when he partnered up with Mel.
Curtis talked about another station that Imus started on in another market. He said he went up there because management asked him to show up. Imus refused to show up to the sales meeting. It was like a smack in the face. Curtis said that Imus threatened to shoot another host that was on the station up there. Curtis said they ended up taking away a couple of hours of his show because of that. Curtis said that he's despicable to his sponsors and the people he works for.
Curtis also claims that he thinks that Imus doesn't have the ability to do his show anymore and it's his partner Bernard McGirk who is doing all of the work. Curtis said he doesn't really like the guy but he thinks that he's doing most of the work for Imus. He said when he was there he heard Imus going off on his staff and belittling them. He said it makes the staff afraid of him when he does stuff like that.
Curtis told Howard some other stories about Imus and his wife. He talked about meeting his wife Deirdre and how she goes on and on trying to sell her own stuff on shows that Imus goes on. He and Howard were goofing on Imus for quite a while since they both had stories about him.
Howard and Curtis were also talking about Al Sharpton and how crazy it is that people bow to him. Curtis said that he would never bow down to the guy.
Curtis said that his contract was up at Citadel but they were going bankrupt. He said that they were talking about doing a bankruptcy thing and his contract would be null and void if that was the case. They asked him if he wanted to do 9-10 in the morning and take away that hour from Imus. Curtis said that he knew Imus wouldn't let them do it. He quickly found out he was right. He had to find a new place to broadcast from. He's now on The Apple 970 AM in New York City. He said that it covers a lot of New York and New Jersey.
Curtis said that he's never going to do a show with a partner again. He said that he didn't have a good time with his wife or Kuby. He said that it just didn't work for him to have a partner. Howard said maybe Curtis should do a commercial where he says he can do 4 hours without an oxygen tank. Howard said Imus is a mess and he's not sure how much longer he can last.
Curtis said that he can imagine them doing something like Michael Jackson where they put him in an oxygen tank every night.
Howard asked Curtis if he's afraid of talking about the mob the way he does. Curtis said that he's targeted but he's not stopping. Howard said being in the back of that cab must have been the scariest moment in his life. Curtis said that 72 hours after the surgery from the shootings he woke up after being very close to death. He said they had tubes in every orifice of his body. Some of them had more than one tube. He said he lifted his head and he saw Ed Koch in the room. He said that Ed had been his enemy. He said he saw Cardinal O'Connor and he was giving him last rites. He said Lisa was there too and she saw him wake up and she probably thought about shoving another tube in him.
Howard asked Curtis if he can still see his penis. Curtis said that the angle is not at the proper dangle. He said that the hollow points shred you and you're never the same. Curtis said that just doing the normal thing is excruciatingly painful. Howard said he'd never get passed that. He said that's really horrible.
Curtis said that being in that cab was scary and he had to jump out of a window to get away from it. He said he's truly blessed.
Howard gave Curtis some more plugs for his new morning show. Curtis said he was going to end up doing another morning show for the company and Howard did an intervention for him. He said that Howard calmed him down and told him that he would end up in court if he fought the company and tired to get out of his contract. He said Howard was the only one who reached out to him. Howard said he had a lot of experience in that whole thing and he's a good guy and has a good soul so he helped.
Robin said that Curtis' sister is the oldest woman to ever give birth to twins. Curtis talked about that for a minute and said she's been to hell and back with that whole thing but she says it's the best thing she's ever done. Curtis said that she figured she wanted a baby at 57 and went through with it.
Howard asked Curtis how many muggings he's stopped. Curtis said that it's in the hundreds. Curtis said that he still likes to go out and thump thugs. He said he'd like to find anyone who has taken advantage of someone and take them down. He said he gets so much joy from it. Howard gave him some plugs for his new show that starts next Monday. Howard said you can also check out CurtisSliwa.com. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Larry King should hang it up. He said the guy is out of his mind. Howard said he read that Larry has been banging his sister-in-law. There was also a clip where he was interviewing Sharon Tate's sister and he got really befuddled. Howard played that clip and Larry asked if she had spoken to Roman Polanski. He thought that Roman had murdered her sister. Larry didn't know what he was talking about.
Howard had a story in the paper he wanted to read too. He said he had to find it first. He dug through his paperwork and tried to find it but it was buried. Howard said you'd think that he'd flag some of that stuff.
Howard read the article about Larry King having slept with his wife's sister. Howard read that and they had a picture of Larry walking down the street with the woman. Howard read that story and goofed on him for a short time. Howard wondered how that guy gets to meet with presidents and people like that. Robin said that Larry gets a buy and Charlie Sheen gets it too.
Howard said he heard that Imus said some nice things about Artie. He said that Imus talked about his own demons that he had to beat and said that if he hangs around long enough he'll be able to beat them. Howard said that doesn't make much sense to him. He said there are a lot of people who haven't beaten their demons and have died.
Howard played the audio of Imus talking about Artie and saying he's a brilliant comedian and he hopes he's alright. Imus said that things will work out and he just has to last long enough to work through them. Imus and his partner were going back and forth talking about that and calling each other names.
Howard said that was fun today with Charlie and Curtis. Howard took another call from a guy who said that every time they talk about The Godfather he tears up thinking about the missing hole in the show with Artie not being there. He asked them to fill it with a clip of Artie. Howard said it's pretty heavy stuff and he's not sure what to say so bringing up his name is touchy.
The caller said he knows that one of the rumors was from an ambulance driver. He said Medicated Pete said something about Artie being in rehab earlier. Howard said he didn't know what he was talking about. Howard said he was listening to the playback of the show yesterday and he had no idea what anyone was talking about with about 5 callers. Robin said she had a hard time figuring out this guy's call too.
Robin said she thinks that he was saying Medicated Pete was a leak on the internet. Howard said Pete doesn't know anything.
Howard said that he'd like to know who the scumbag is that let the rumors out about Artie. Robin thought it was someone from law enforcement. JD said it has to be someone close to the thing because they wrote ''hesitation cuts'' in the article. Benjy said that they said it was another source and it was close to the ''management team'' but that could be anyone.
Howard said they're scheduled to get a call from Gary Coleman next week and he just ended up in the hospital after suffering a seizure. Howard said who knows if he'll be able to call in. Robin said he's always been a very sick man. She said it's amazing he does as well as he does.
Howard read the article about Gary Coleman and Robin asked if he was really going to call in. Howard said he really was supposed to call in. Gary said they had him scheduled for next Monday.
Howard asked Jon if he knew what Steve was talking about. Steve said Artie has a lot on his plate and he's had a tough life. Steve said it's just from a reporter's point of view. He said Howard can be tough to cover as well. He said Robin may not like what they do but she'll stop and talk to them when they ask her questions.
Howard asked Steve why he stares at him so much. Steve said he's trying to read the situation. He went on to say that they have more about Benjy's age and how he finally admitted why he plays around with his age. He said that Benjy is 42 years old. Benjy said he didn't come clean. He said he just f's around about his age. Howard didn't care and moved on.
Steve said they're looking into the High Pitch Eric and his mom's will case. He said Eric is saying he doesn't know why his mother wanted him out of the will. Howard said he thinks he might have a case. He said that Eric isn't all there.
Steve said Captain Janks is in court again and may plead guilty to some of the cases where he's been accused of scamming clubs. Steve said there's no answer on the dozens of others that he's allegedly taken from.
Steve said that Jon Hein is upset about his new BMW being scaped up over vacation when he hit a curb. Jon said he didn't tell anyone but someone found out about it and asked what happened to the car. Jon said he's not sure where it came from. Jon said Gary was the only one who knew he got a new car and no one knew he damaged it. They quickly revealed that the guy in the parking garage tipped them off.
Jon Hein ran down his list of stuff for today's Wrap Up Show. Howard said they had a lot of action on yesterday's show. Jon said they hope to have more on today's show. They talked about some of the stuff they had on the show today.
Mutt from Superfan Roundtable called in with his show preview. Mutt said they're going to be talking about Tracey and Benjy's fight tonight. That led to Tracey coming in and talking about how she doesn't act like that all the time. She said that she had an issue with Steve Grillo that one time and now with Benjy. Howard asked her if she wants to do an hour long show. Howard said he's not sure what she'd do. Tracey said she'd need something to talk about Howard said maybe they're sitting there with a gold mine. Tracey said she's not sure but she does have a lot of opinions. Howard said maybe she could go on once a month and just wail on people. He said that he's never seen someone rise with such popularity like her. Howard told her to think about it. Tracey said she would. Mutt said they'll brainstorm with ideas for what she can do tonight.
Howard asked Tracey if she could fill an hour with stuff about Scott the Engineer. Tracey said that would be maybe 5 minutes of show. Howard said that's 5 minutes of show right there. Howard said they need to figure out more stuff.
Benjy told Tracey that he's sorry for what happened yesterday and his door is always open if she wants to talk about anything. He doesn't have a door but the virtual door is always open.
Ronnie came in and said that they're working on another show and they might have a spot on the show for Tracey. Howard said she might want her own show. Ronnie said that she might be good with a group of people. Howard asked Ronnie if he was trying to look like Chuck Norris with the full beard. Ronnie said he's had that before and he's just trying to look like Ronnie.
Ralph called in and said that she'd be great doing a show and he's sure that someone will piss her off. Tracey said that she doesn't want to have a show where she has people trying to piss her off for an hour.
Howard said he didn't know that she had this boyfriend that showed up with her at the party. Howard said he noticed that she's been glowing lately. It must be the boyfriend. Ralph said she just needed to get banged. Howard said she looks really good. Ronnie said he noticed it too. Tracey said she fell in love and she colored her hair. Howard told her to stick with that look and told her to get angry more.
Howard asked Tracey if she's getting laid. She said she's not going to comment on that. Tracey said she is in love though. She's only been going out with the guy for 6 or 7 weeks. Howard said it took him like 2 seconds to fall in love with Beth.
Howard was trying to get more out of Tracey but she said she was done. She wanted to get out of there when he started asking about her being shaved and stuff like that. Tracey said that Ralph is her hero because he had that picture. Benjy said that didn't prove anything. He was just trying to get her worked up again. That led to them talking about putting Tracey and Benjy on air together. She made up with Steve Grillo so she won't be calling him a douche anymore.
Howard asked if Mutt was at the Christmas party. He didn't see him there. Mutt said that he said hello to him. Howard said that he didn't even recognize him. Mutt said it was after his speech when he said hello to him. Mutt said that they went to give each other a fist bump and then went to shake hands and just gave up. Robin said that she saw Mutt there and then thought she called the guy the wrong name thinking he wouldn't have been there.
Mutt said that they're going to talk about Jackie possibly sitting in on the show. Howard said he's pretty sure that won't happen. He said both Fred and Robin are against it. Howard said some fans want him to return. He read through some of the email he got about that. There were people who said that Jackie could walk off the show again and it wouldn't take more than a day or two. Howard said the overwhelming mail was that people were going to cancel if they had Jackie back on the show. Howard read through some of that too. He had a bunch of negative stuff about Jackie in the email. Howard said one guy said that it was awful to just talk about Jackie coming back on the show.
Howard told Mutt he's going to be listening tonight and he'll leave it up to Mutt about the Jackie thing. Fred was saying ''No!'' and said he'd take a day off if Jackie came in. Howard said he's going to give Mutt the power to decide. Ralph said he likes Mutt but he shouldn't be deciding this. Fred said that Mutt is running the SternFanNetwork and look what that attracts. Howard said Mutt isn't responsible for what the people post over there. Howard said he should have a poll on the show tonight and he'll figure it out from there.
Howard told Mutt it might be too much and also told him that he should wear a name tag next time he sees him at a party. Howard said he doesn't think he's seen him that many times to recognize him. Mutt said he saw him two times or so. He saw him at the Bubba wedding and in the studio one time. Howard said he saw one guy in the pictures he had from the party and he wasn't sure who it was. It may have been Mutt. He let Mutt off the phone and had Robin start her news.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if he would rather find out his kids or Beth had a secret sex tape. Howard said that both would kill him. He said seeing his daughter in a sex tape would be the worst. He said that was his clear answer on that. He said that was a good question but a horrible though. He said that would be a jump out the window kind of thing. He said he understands parents of porno chicks not wanting to deal with them after something like that.
Robin read a story about shelters in California being filled with small dogs like Chihuahua's because people are getting rid of them like Paris Hilton did. Robin said there is a demand for them on the East Coast so they've shipped a bunch out there. That led to Howard talking about his cat that he'll be meeting today. He said he's really not ready for a cat right now but he's going to have it in the house today. Howard said Beth sees every one of these sad cases and it's not doing him any good. He said she can't be responsible for every sad case. He said that his tolerance is very low right now and he's not sure if he can handle this. Robin said he'll be a huge fan in a few weeks. Howard said he'll let her know.
Robin read a story about The Bachelor where they talked about this woman being kicked off the show for sleeping with a crew member. The crew member was fired too. Howard said he loves that show and told her to stick with it.
Robin read that the Hane's people have pulled the Charlie Sheen commercials. Howard said ''Well, duh!'' Howard said he never buys their stuff but maybe other people should stop.
Robin read a story about Jon Cryer coming out and talking about the Charlie Sheen thing. the thing to say is that he's always professional on the set. That's what Jon Cryer did. Howard said he can't wait to see people applauding Charlie at award shows. He said that's what's going to happen. Robin said they're making a sequel to ''Wall Street'' and Charlie has a cameo in the movie. Howard said that's the sad thing, the guy has talent and he goes out and fucks it up.
Robin read a story about a magazine that does plus size model pictures. Howard said ''Yuck'' as soon as he heard that. Robin said they have one of the girls from the movie ''Precious'' in the magazine. Howard said that he's going to put out a magazine that's drenched in urine since it seems that people are putting out magazines that no one wants.
Robin read that Tiger Woods has been all over the world over the past month or so. She said that he's been spotted all over the place. Howard said it would be great if he just disappeared and never came out.
Robin said that Jayson Williams is back in the news. She said that he broke his neck in a drunk driving accident. Robin said he smashed his SUV into a tree on Tuesday. He's still facing the manslaughter re-trial for the shooting incident at his home.
Robin said that Casey Johnson's things were taken from Tila Tequila's home yesterday. There was talk of putting the dogs to sleep and putting them in the casket with her. Robin said they say those rumors are not true.
Robin read about a woman who was trampled by a wild elephant in Africa. Robin said that she was out on a walk and the elephant charged her and trampled her. Howard said the rest of the people got away but the woman and her baby were killed. Howard said elephants are very protective and you can't just walk through their habitat on a stroll.
Robin read a story about Roman Polanski. His lawyers are looking for a sentencing in absentia. They may do that and he may not be extradited to the United States.
Robin said that Lady Gaga has gotten into trouble with Larry Phelps who has called her a whore and basically said that she's a bad influence on her fans. Robin said that she's for gay rights and that might be what got her on Phelps' radar.
Robin said that Marilyn Manson is reportedly reconciling with Evan Rachel Wood and he proposed to her on Monday night at a concert. Howard said he didn't know Marilyn was still doing concerts. Robin read some details about that and Marilyn's relationship with Wood.
Robin read about Courtney Love and how she's got a permanent restraining order to stay away from her daughter. The kid's grandmother is raising her now. The daughter is 17 years old. Robin said that Courtney has been fed lies by the family and Francis is also lying. Robin said that Courtney is also getting her band, Hole, back together for some concerts this year.
Robin had some movie news and audio clips she went through. Howard cut most of them off after a few seconds. They had a clip of Michael Cera talking about a movie and Howard said that's the voice who would have been the young Howard Stern if he had done his cartoon ''Howard Stern The High School Years.''
Robin read some news about Gary Coleman and his slight seizure he had this week. Howard said he may be calling in on Monday. They wrapped up the news and ended the show around 11:00am.
Jon said that Howard wasn't able to read the Artie article today and then Steve Langford came in and said that Artie is very hard to report on. He said that was an odd thing. Gary said that Artie and Steve have a very strange relationship. He said Artie may have figured out that he revealed too much early on and he was kind of guarded when he'd have him around later on. Gary said he doesn't care what Steve sees him doing but Artie might be a little more guarded.
Gary said that they're talking about Artie together behind the scenes and it breaks his heart when they talk about it. He said he emails Artie's sister and it breaks his heart every time.
Jon said that Tracey and Benjy's fight made it to the air today. They'll be talking more about that with Ronnie today. Jon said they'll talk about Curtis Sliwa and Charlie Murphy too.
Jon said he wanted to talk about the Benjy thing. He was going to get into that but Medicated Pete showed up so they talked to him a little bit. Gary said that today they have stuff to talk to him about. Jon asked what he's been busy with lately. Pete said he didn't know other than staring at the back of Jon Hein. Jon said that the guys are egging him on to annoy him too.
Gary said that Pete likes to stare at people and he was doing that a lot with him today. Gary said he ran into the studio very quickly today when Howard asked for him. Gary said that Pete is there for everyone so anyone else who needs him can take him.
Benjy asked Pete if he's embarrassed to do nothing there. Gary said that the phones are always there to be answered so there's always something to do.
Jon asked Pete who is treating him better there. He said he knows he had some issues with Scott when he worked with him. Pete said he likes Booey's style. Gary said that's Mr. Booey to him. Pete said that Mr. Booey helps him out more than Scott did. Gary said Scott has a short temper and he gives up on people pretty quickly. Pete said he didn't give up on him. He said he was recording the show during the day. He said he puts in a CD to record the show from hour to hour. Pete said he was also sitting in Scott's office pissing him off.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Pete still stares at people in the hallway. Pete said he does. He's not there when Howard walks down the hall though. Now he stares at Jon Hein. Gary described the space they have there where they have people sitting in the office. He said that the space is open and when they have the interns there he sits in that area. Jon said Pete sits there whether or not they have other interns in there.
Jon Hein has a space marked out in tape because he doesn't like other people encroaching on his space. Pete said that he's probably going to enforce that line now that he's there.
The caller asked Pete about his date he talked about earlier. Pete said he's going to see if that works out. He said that the little person chick is up in the air too. He said he thinks that she'd go out with him but he's not sure. Gary said that she said that he would love to go out with Pete in an email. He asked Pete what he's waiting for. Pete said it's just hesitation on his part. Gary told him to just email her and say he wants to go out with her. Pete said that he wants to go out with her but he's just hesitating.
Pete said this other woman he met is like 6 feet tall. He said she listened to him on the way to work this morning. She called him earlier and gave him the details of her day so far. Jon said it sounds like he might have something going on.
Gary told Pete to just relax when he goes out with this woman. He said he has to just relax and be himself instead of freaking out. Pete said he can't help himself. Gary said he's putting too much pressure on himself and he has to just try to relax and not worry so much about it. Pete said the anticipation of the date is tough. Jon told him to talk about the date next week when he's back.
Benjy said that he gets sad about situations like this and Ronnie might be right. Ronnie told him he sets himself up for this shit. Benjy said he hates everyone giving his date shit. He said that he hates that they do that to her. He said it's find that they give him shit but when they bring his girlfriend into it then it upsets him.
Ronnie said he didn't give Benjy any shit and he shouldn't have dragged him into it. He told Benjy not to involve everyone else in his shit. Ronnie said that if he did lay on top of his girlfriend then it would have been on the air on Monday morning. Benjy said not everything gets on the air.
Ronnie wanted to know what Benjy saw him doing. Benjy said he saw Ronnie kissing his girlfriend while she was laying under him. Ronnie said that's just not true. Ronnie said he was in a booth and he wasn't laying on her. He said he had his arm around her and he kissed her but he didn't lay on top of her.
Benjy said he loves when Ronnie is at a party and he's a lot of fun. That's all he was saying. Gary said that no one but Benjy saw it and no one else has brought it up. Gary said there is no tolerance of anything at the party and someone would have come to him if Ronnie had done something like that.
Benjy brought up the pot smoking at the party too. Gary said all he knows about it is what Benjy told him. He said he's in the vortex again and he wants out. Benjy kept looking at his phone like something was up and it was driving Jon nuts. Benjy said the battery was dying.
Jon played a clip from the show where Gary said that his wife had asked if they talked about ''the ho bag'' that day.
After the clip Benjy wasn't happy with what Gary said about his girl. Gary said he wasn't saying it himself, he was talking about what his wife said. Benjy said that he doesn't like people being talked about like that. A caller asked Gary if he would get in trouble for bringing that up on the air. Gary said he doesn't think she'll have a problem with it.
Another caller said that everyone is being hypocritical because they know that Benjy dates women from the internet. He said that this wild girl isn't a surprise. Benjy said she does have a wild side but she's a really nice girl too.
Jon asked Gary what he thought about the advice Howard gave to Benjy. Gary said that's the same advice he was trying to give him to just fess up. Ronnie said that's what he's been trying to tell him too. He said it was great advice and Benjy finally listened to Howard.
Gary said that they never said that Benjy did anything wrong. They just wanted him to admit that she was inappropriate at the party. Benjy said she's a fun girl and that's how they roll. Gary said she lifted her skirt and touched her private parts. Benjy told them to stop making fun of her. Gary said he has plenty of ammo to start making fun of her but they're not doing that. Gary said he could make fun of her if he wanted but that's not what they're doing.
Ronnie said that Benjy is the one who brought her into this whole thing. He said he could have avoided it if he hadn't brought her to the party. Benjy said they were targeting him way before he even told them who he was bringing.
Benjy said Howard was the one who told him a few days before the party that the plus 1 was for serious relationships. He said that when he said who it was going to be then they really started to give him a hard time. Gary said Benjy has to know Howard and how he can be about stuff like that. Gary asked if it was wrong to tell Howard knowing the way Howard is. Benjy said it was the manner in which they told Howard that bothered him.
Jon said that they were circling around again so he was going to get out of the vortex and take a break. Ronnie wondered if they were done with this now. Gary said he's sure that they're not done with it. They went to break after that.
Gary said he's dying to know what this show is that Ronnie is working on. He said he can't imagine why Tracey would fit into the show. Jim McClure was in the studio and he was part of the show. Jim said that they want to do a show where they have 3 or 4 people giving advice to people about anything that people call in with. He said it would be a hard edged kind of show like that. They thought that Tracey would fit into the show perfectly.
Shuli was in and said that Tracey isn't the kind of person who just snaps at you for no reason. He said it can take a while for her to get worked up. Benjy said that if they had a Judge Judy type of show she'd be good on that too.
Jon moved on to talk about Curtis Sliwa. Gary said he really enjoyed him on the show today. He said that they have a history with him for many years. He said Curtis has never been an in studio guest before. Gary said the stories he told did make him seem kind of vigilante like. Gary said the Guardian Angels were great because he loved seeing them on the subway because they did deter crime.
Benjy asked if the uniform evolved from the McDonald's uniform. Gary wasn't sure about that. He said he saw Curtis out in the parking lot when he went to a Yankee game and said hi to him. The kids in the car wondered who the guy was in the weird outfit.
The guys talked about the stories Curtis told about being shot and having his on-air partner testify against him in the case. Then he had to keep working with the guy. Gary said that was a great reason to hate the person you work with on the air. Gar said that they liked the Imus stories too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he liked the Guardian Angels too. He always felt safer on the train when they were on it. He was also giving them some advice on cats eating dog food and dogs eating cat food. He said the cats can eat the dog food but the dogs can't eat the cat food or they'll die. The guys weren't sure if he was right about what he was saying. Gary said his dog eats the cat food all the time and all it does is make the dog fat.
Jon brought up Charlie Murphy too and the guys spent the last few minutes of the show on that. They were talking about the stories he told about growing up in Roosevelt where Howard grew up. Benjy found it odd that Howard and Charlie came out of the same area with different thoughts on God. Charlie came out thinking there must be a god if he survived it and Howard think there is no god because he suffered so much there.
Another caller said this week has been ''off the chain as they say.'' He said he liked a lot of the stuff they were playing this week with the Sarah Palin clips and stuff like that. Gary said it seems like it was so long ago but it was just Monday. The caller said the show is great and he hopes that Howard doesn't leave at the end of this year.
Jon took a call from a guy asked Benjy about the STD thing and how upset he got with everyone. The caller said that he got really mad at that and now he's doing the same thing with Ronnie. Benjy said he saw it though. Benjy said he's not going to get into that anymore though. The caller told him that he, Ronnie and Tracey need to get into the Bubbagon in his studio and clear things up that way. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 10:45am.