|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show talking about how he had a lot to talk about and he didn't know where to begin. He said he did watch the Jet game yesterday. He said he didn't watch the other one. He was surprised at how important this game was to him. He said one thing about him is that once he's a fan he gets into it. He said he is a Giants fan too but he was into the Jets. Robin said that's okay to like the two teams but it seems that it's not okay to like the Mets and Yankees.
Gary came in and said that the Giants don't rub your face in it if they win like the Yankees fans do to Mets fans. Howard asked Gary about what went wrong with the Jets and Gary said that Peyton Manning is just brilliant and he's a great player.
Howard asked if it's because Peyton is so tall that he can see more of the field. Gary said that could be part of it.
Howard pointed out that Sal was in the hall wearing his Gary mask and pretending to cry over the Jets loss. Gary said the funny thing is that Sal couldn't answer any questions about football. Howard said he can't either.
Gary said he was really looking forward to the game yesterday and got up all excited about it. Howard said he was watching the game in the car with his SlingBox stuff. He said he didn't want to miss the game and this was like the first time he ever used the SlingBox thing. Gary said he uses his all the time to watch games when he's out. He can watch the stuff on his Blackberry. Howard said that SlingBox is a cool app.
Howard talked about how good the Jets game was and compared it to chess games he's played. He said he was playing over the weekend and he was winning against a really good player but he ended up choking and lost. He said he's done with Chess now that he lost like that. He said he was beating 1800 and 1900 level players and then he choked so he's ready to give it up. Gary told him not to give it up. He said he enjoys it too much to give up.
Howard said he just tightened up like the Jets did. Howard and Gary talked about how it seems that Peyton Manning is the guy coaching the team, not the coach. Howard said that sometimes you have to do things that way and it works. He said when they were at WNBC they had that Pig Virus telling them everything to do and it just doesn't work. Gary said Andy Bloom once said that the best thing to do with Howard Stern was just leave him alone.
Howard said he got upset that the Jets lost. He said he was upset that he didn't have his dog in a Jets jersey. He said he turned to Beth at one point and said that Gary must be watching the game in his theater. Gary said he was sitting in the front row watching the game. He said he invited some friends over and his kids sat in the back at the bar. Gary said he only sat back there one time. Howard talked about the shitty seats Gary put in that theater and told him that he should rip out the bar and put in regular seats. Gary said people live that bar and they're nice bar stools. Howard said they're not seats though. Gary said this is boring. Howard said it's only boring to Gary because it's true.
Howard sand Robin goofed on Gary about his bar stool mistake but Gary said he wouldn't have put another row back there if he didn't have the bar because there isn't that much room there. Howard said you put a couch back there then. Howard said that's what every normal person does. Gary said he's incorrect about that.
Howard said Gary is combining eating with watching movies and that's wrong. Gary said that's because Howard doesn't know because he's gay. Howard said he knows what he's talking about and Gary is wrong.
Robin said you put in comfortable seats in a home theater. Howard said Gary won't even sit on the stools in his theater because they shouldn't be in there. Howard said Gary never eats there because he would never sit in seats like that. Gary said it's a bar and he doesn't eat there that much and he doesn't have more than 8 people over at one time very much.
Robin and Howard continued to goof on Gary about his stools and he was trying to defend himself. Gary said he did a movie screening on Saturday night. He said he had over some people to watch ''The Hurt Locker'' and one guy went back there and sat at the bar and said he liked it. Howard said he doesn't believe what he's saying. Gary said he'd get the guy on the phone right now. Howard didn't believe it. Gary said no answer is good enough for Howard.
Gary tried arguing with Howard but it was pointless since Howard wasn't going to see his point of view. Howard wondered if there are guys who ask to sit on seats with nails sticking out of them back there because the stools aren't comfortable enough. That led to them playing a bunch of song parodies about Gary's theater stools.
Gary wondered how he got sucked into that conversation again. He said he can't believe he did that. Howard asked who was there at the game. Gary gave Howard the list of people and they had about 12 people there total. Gary said his son had some friends over too. He said his one son had to sit in a bean bag chair. Howard said he's going to have issues when he grows up knowing his father made him sit in a bean bag chair.
Gary said the second game was even better than the Jets game. Howard said he isn't that much of a man that he could watch a second game. Gary said that one went to 10:20 last night.
Howard and Gary spent a little time talking about that second game. Howard asked about what happened to Favre and all of that. They also talked about the Pro Bowl and how stupid it is that they're playing the game at the time of year they are this year. They thought that people would like to see it the week between the Super Bowl and the play offs. He said that no one is going to want to see it.
Howard said Gary took the Jets loss pretty hard. He said it's kind of sad. Robin said she was in the airport and no one was making any noise like they would have if they had won.
Howard said someone got tazered at the stadium before the game. Howard said the cops claim the kid was in the parking lot throwing beer on people and not moving along when they asked him to. They tazered the guy over that and the kid's father is a lawyer so he's saying the kid was doing nothing but being rowdy.
Howard said if the cops ask you to move then just move. He said they were trying to do their jobs and this guy was moving slow. Howard said the father claims he was doing nothing wrong and they were just picking on him for having a Jets jersey on.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Julia Roberts didn't wear anything sexy on this Haiti fund raiser concert. Howard said he knew that was going to happen. He said Julia Roberts probably figured she didn't have to look sexy on the show.
Howard said they did a great job with the concert but Julia Roberts is a big star and you should look your best. He said she should have put on some fuckin' lipstick and brushed her hair. He said she's got something weird going on with her hair. He said he's not a handsome guy but he's not where he is because he's handsome. He said Julia Roberts stood up and she was wearing bad jeans and ugly shoes. He said she looked like she had just been through an earthquake herself.
Howard said Julia wouldn't have done this if she was trying to get famous now. He said she appears to have given up and thrown in the towel. He wondered why she gave up. The caller said the jacket she had on was like 10 sizes too big for her like she lost a lot of weight.
Howard said Stevie Wonder is a great performer and he loves some of his albums but every time he comes on he hits the fast forward. He said he couldn't take his performance on the show. Howard said Bruce Springsteen was great but he fast forwarded through Sting too. He said his songs are boring and they don't put their best effort on.
Howard asked JD if he had any audio from the show to play. JD said he didn't have any because he was busy working on some other stuff. He said he was just about to pull the Haiti stuff. Howard asked if the medication isn't working for him. JD said he just got in at like 4:30 this morning so that's why he's not up to that yet. Howard said maybe it's the medication that's not working. He's on Zoloft and Howard figured maybe it's not going to work for him the way he thought.
Howard said he thought Madonna was awful on that show. He said Jennifer Hudson was great. Howard said Christina Aguilera should hang it up. He said she should just sing a good fuckin' song. He said that Jay-Z and Bono song was pissing him off. They had Bono drowned out in that one. He said U2 should have done a song. Gary said that's what he thought too.
Howard wondered what kind of glasses Bono was wearing. Fred said he thinks he's trying to hide his age with those things. Howard said he seems to be turning into Lady Gaga with those things.
Gary said Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock were good. Howard said he didn't know Kid Rock could sing so well. Gary said he knew that and so did Robin. Howard said Robin didn't even see the concert. She said she knew from his past performances.
Howard said that Justin Timberlake was horrible. He went off on that performance for a short time. Howard said the concert was well done overall. He said he fast forwarded over the pieces about Haiti and he wondered why Anderson Cooper kept plugging where he was from when he'd say he was from CNN. He said no one else was doing that.
Gary said Reese Witherspoon was over acting on there. Howard said they had Chris Rock on the show and he read something that Muhammad Ali had written. He said Chris is great but he can't do a dramatic read. He said they should have had someone else do the reading, not Chris. They talked about how odd Muhammad Ali looked too. They talked about his glassy eyes and how odd he looked.
Gary said that Beyonce was good in the concert. Howard said that was okay. He said he fast forwarded through most of it.
Howard said Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow and Bruce were the best on the show. Fred said he though Kid Rock was kind of ''ratty'' in his performance. Howard said Fred is wrong. Fred said he knows that it's Howard's show so he'll go along with him on that.
Howard said Nicole Kidman has to calm down with the botox. He said she's looking really odd. Gary brought up Madonna too and said that she's looking Asian with whatever it is she's doing to her face. Howard said Julia Roberts really should have been glamorous on the show and not look the way she did. He said people are tuning in to see beauty and not that look she had.
Howard said Will is a nice guy and all but he's really stiff as a guest. He said Will came out dressed as a southern rock kind of guy and stood in front of a band with Beck, Billy Gibbons and some other guys. Will did this Freebird song and it was like watching Will having fun with the band and even he must have known it sucked. Howard said this is why Conan failed with his show. He let people take over his show and make it not funny or fun.
Howard said Neil Young was on the show too. He said he was good and they should have brought out the real Lynrd Skynrd. Howard said he heard that Neil Young came out and sang Pants on the Ground, the Jimmy Fallon version. Howard said that would have been hysterical if he had done that. Howard said that would have been great for the final show.
Howard said Conan's final show wasn't all that great. He did a speech at the end of the show and he was bordering on tears. Howard said Conan thanked NBC for what they did for him. Howard said NBC shit on him so bad and he thanked them for that. Howard said NBC came up with that plan to keep Conan there and they orchestrated moving Jay out of the spot and giving it to Conan. Howard said he wished he had those clips from the show too.
Howard said JD's new hours aren't working. He told JD to give Scott the Engineer some more work and tell him what clips he needs to pull. Howard said maybe JD could work on Sunday and take Friday's off. JD said he could do that too.
Howard gave JD the power to fire Scott if he can't get his work done. He gave him full control over him to help him pull clips. He said that JD is his go to guy and he has the power to fire him like he did with Ronnie. JD said he's going to pull the Conan clips and pause the Haiti stuff. Howard said the moment has passed already and he has to move on.
Howard asked JD what he had pulled so far. JD said he had some Heidi Montag stuff pulled. Howard didn't understand why he had that and not the other stuff. JD said he's going to start coming in on the weekend. Howard said he doesn't need to do that. He said he can have Scott pulling clips. He said that JD is now Scott's boss and he can fire him. He told JD he needs someone tough to run things around there and JD is the right guy for that.
Howard told JD that Tim isn't Scott's boss anymore, he is. Howard said he needs to know if Scott needs to be fired. He said he can take that away from him. He said it's their last year there and they need to buckle down and make it all work.
Howard told JD he could see the tears in his eyes. JD said that he doesn't have tears in his eyes. He said he'd have tears only because he didn't have what he needed for him. Howard said he is now a man and he has the power to get his job done. He said that maybe Sal and Richard can help out too. He told JD he isn't their boss but he is Scott's boss. Howard said he wants him to be tough on Scott. This is a promotion for JD there. He said it's just a title though so he won't be getting a raise.
Howard said JD should tell Gary to get off his dumb bar stool and help him out too. Howard said Gary should be helping him out with that stuff as well. Gary said JD never told him that he was in distress. He said until he started coming in at 4 he was always caught up. Gary said he didn't know he was having any issue until today.
Howard blamed Gary for putting too much on JD. Gary said he didn't know that. He said maybe JD and Scott should revers salaries because JD is working his ass off and Scott isn't. He said JD is his good worker and he doesn't want to burn him out. Howard said they have to heap some work on Scott. He said maybe JD needs an intern. JD said he doesn't need an intern. Howard asked what he does need. JD said he needs to calm down and pull his stuff. He said he just wants to get back to work. JD said he has plenty of resources but he's not comfortable giving other people the work he has to do.
Howard told Gary to help him out and ''Dell'Egate'' his work. He said Gary is busy playing solitaire in there on his computer all morning while JD is trying to get his work done.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that last 10 minutes was making him laugh. He said he was going to be laughing all day long. Howard said JD is back there working hard while Scott is in his office laughing that he's getting away with doing nothing. Howard asked what Scott has been working on all morning. Howard said he'll probably say he was working on Best of or something. Howard asked Scott to come in and tell him what he's been working on.
Scott came in and said that he will do whatever he wants. Scott said he pulled news and a Prince song. Scott said he downloads stuff to give Robin later. He said he was doing stuff all morning. Howard said he liked it better when Scott was smoking and fat.
Scott said he'll do whatever Howard wants. He said he'll help JD out if he wants him to no problem. Howard told Scott when he cracks to just do it at home and not there at work. He said Scott went from looking like a cancer patient to looking like an AIDS patient.
Howard gave Robin the names Scott or Ronnie. Robin had a tough time picking. She picked Ronnie over Scott. Howard asked her if she'd take Scott or JD. Robin said that she would pick Scott over JD. She said that JD is all mental now. Howard asked if she'd pick Scott or a zucchini. She said she's taking the zucchini.
Howard asked Robin about Medicated Pete or High Pitch Mike in the news room. Robin said that she'd have to take Pete. Howard laughed at that choice. Howard said Robin should be in bed with him and Beth. He said they'll have to play that game in private. He said that she could give her reasons why if she did it in private. Howard asked Robin about Fred and Gary and Robin picked Fred over Gary.
Howard asked Robin Fred or Tim Sabean. Robin picked Fred again. He asked her Scott the Engineer or Jason. Robin picked Jason. Howard asked Fred if he would give Richard or Sal a hand job. Fred said he wouldn't do either. Robin had to pick between Richard and Sal too. Robin said she was going back and forth in her head like a ping pong ball. She went with Richard in the end.
Sal came in and said that they wanted to show Fred their penises to help Fred decide. Fred said he was going to punch them if they came over. Fred told them to take them out and he'd throw something at them. Fred said no one wants Sal's dick, not even his wife.
Richard asked if this would help Robin decide. Howard said she already picked him. Richard missed that part. Howard said she didn't say why she picked him over Sal though.
Howard said Conan was a writer on Saturday Night Live and he got the job that David Letterman vacated. He said that Conan didn't even have a contract from week to week over there. He said they've treated him like horse shit for 17 years. He said they finally gave him a contract after humiliating him for years.
JD came in and told Howard he had the Conan clip for him. Howard played some of the speech Conan made where he talked about how he likes NBC even after what they did to him. Howard said Conan is an asshole and he should have been bashing them.
Howard said he got a note from someone about the Conan situation. He said he had it on his Blackberry and found the email after a quick search. He read the email and the writer pointed out how NBC screwed Leno 6 years ago and then they screwed Conan with the same deal. Howard said at least he's getting paid with that contract he had. Howard said this guy is thanking them for what they did to him. He said he doesn't get that.
Howard said he was going to throw up watching that whole thing. He said Conan is a good dude but he wasn't going to fly out to California to be on his show. Howard said he isn't going to risk his life to do that show by flying out there. Howard said he watched the 3D simulation of Sully landing his plane after some birds hit the plane. Howard said he's not going to risk it for Conan.
Howard and Fred acted out what it would be like for him to be in a plane hit by birds. Fred played some sound effects while Howard said what a great idea it was to fly out there for free to do that show.
Howard said he sat home and played chess instead. Howard said he doesn't want to die flying out to California to say goodbye to Conan.
Howard said that Will Ferrell thing was the lamest thing he's seen on TV. He played more of the speech Conan made on his show about NBC and how he did things his way with people he loves. Conan said he doesn't regret one moment of what he did there either. Howard said he should thank NBC for stealing all of his guests and not giving him a good lead in. Howard said his reputation is now damaged.
Howard said he read that FOX is hiring Conan and he's hoping that he takes away some of Jay's audience. Howard said Jay is going on Oprah to recover his once great image. He said Jay will be on that show on Thursday.
Howard said he has a guy who reads a blog to him by this guy who is a ventriloquist. Howard said that Jay shows up to do stuff for his monologue at this club and Jay takes the money from the club when he does it. Howard said Jay shouldn't be taking money from a club like that. He said that it's probably a struggling club and Jay is taking money from them. Howard said the club is called The Lounge, he thinks. Howard said he's not even sure if it's real or not. Howard said Jay waits there for his check after doing the routine. Howard read the blog that was Jay Johnson and the guy talks about the way Leno shows up at the club and works out some of his material for the monologue and then takes the cover charge from the club.
Howard said Oprah is going to sit there and suck Jay's balls this week. He said he knows that she's going to do that. He said he can't believe that Jay would take the money from a club like that. He said he's not even sure if the story is true. He said it was from that Jay Johnson guy's blog so he's not sure if it was true or not.
Howard read more of that Jay Johnson blog and he talks about Jay Leno showing up to the club in a multi-million dollar car and then stands around waiting for a $2,000 check from the club. Howard said this Oprah is going to help the guy out by throwing him a bunch of softball questions.
Howard said he's sick. He said he waned to blow off all of the commercials today but he had to do it. He said he wants to do a commercial free day one day. He said that he'd like to fly down to Oprah's show and ask a few questions with Jay. He said if they'd have him on the show he would fly out there. Howard swore to god that if Oprah called him and said she would put him on with Jay, he would go. Robin told Gary to get on that and tell Oprah that Howard will do the show. Howard said he has a few questions for that Dickwad Jay Leno. He knows she won't call though. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he saw Steven Tyler was doing Karaoke somewhere after getting out of rehab... at a bar. He said that's not a good place to be. Robin said that would be like Tim Sabean being at a restaurant.
Howard played some audio of the last 5 minutes of Conan O'Brien's show where Will Ferrell did his lame bit singing karaoke. Howard said it should have been a powerful moment but it wasn't funny. Howard said Will was singing karaoke while everyone was backing him up and he wondered what the hell was going on there.
Howard played the clip where Will was thanking Conan for having him on the show. Howard said they were making it out to be a big deal saying it was a ''special guest'' but it was just Will Ferrell singing. Howard said they had all of these great guys backing him but it was just awful. He said it was lazy and it went on for 6 minutes.
Howard let some of the song play and said that it was going on and on and on. He said he wasn't sure what it was supposed to be. He wasn't singing all that great and it wasn't funny. Howard said Robin Williams was on the night before and it was funny. He said it was great. He's not sure what this is with Will Ferrell. Howard let it play some more and kept wondering why Will would do that and why Conan would let him. Robin said he wasn't a good singer at all.
Howard said they really did need him to come on that show. He said it's no wonder they called. Howard took a call from a guy who said that last show was good other than Will Ferrell and Tom Hanks. Howard said that was most of the show. Those two guests were like 45 minutes of the hour.
The caller brought up Shakira's performance on the Haiti benefit show. Howard said she was good but her thick legs weren't for him. The caller said he's into thick legs like that. Howard said she dressed poorly. Howard said Julia Roberts looked like a train wreck. The caller said she looked like a sea hag. Howard agreed with that. Howard said that telethon didn't get him to donate to them. He said he donated money on his own though.
Howard said maybe there was a smell down there or something too. He said that could cause a guy to lose his erection. Howard said he'd be out of there if someone smelled bad. Lisa said that it's very acidic down there and even if you douche you can't fix some problems. Howard said that he'll go limp if he catches a whiff.
Robin said that 20 year olds don't have that problem doing a woman if she stinks. Howard said he doesn't know about that. Howard said if he catches a whiff that will slow him down. He said he has suffered through it before though.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to come to Lisa's defense. He said that some guys jerk off before a date to make sure they last longer but that can cause you go to limp. Howard said he's never had that problem. He said he can cum and be ready in 10 minutes to do it again. Howard said he's not sure how some guys hold out because it feels so good down there. Robin said that not everyone has the same experience as Howard does. Howard said that Viagra is for guys who are gay and are trying to be with women. He said he doesn't believe that a guy needs help if he's with a woman he's really into. Robin said that's just not the case.
Howard and Robin were talking about Bubba using pills for that stuff. Howard said he doesn't think Bubba needs it.
Lisa said that they have a story about Ronnie doing his new show tonight on Howard 101. The show is called ''Listen Stupid.'' Howard said it didn't sound good to him from her description. He said he's ready to get rid of the show already and it hasn't even aired yet.
Lisa said that Yucko the Clown is still pissed off at Gary and the way he turned vicious on him last week. Lisa said that some good news came out of that whole thing and sales of his iPhone app have taken off since that argument last week.
Ronnie came in so Howard could give him some advice for his new show. Howard said he'll let him do that but he wants him to calm down with the cursing. Ronnie asked Lisa why guy's dicks are falling apart with her. Lisa said she was just there to read the headlines.
Howard asked Ronnie if he needs help to get an erection. Ronnie said he doesn't. He said he has tried the pills but he doesn't really need them. Howard let Ronnie and Lisa go after that.
Howard said he had a problem on this trip. He said he gets nervous going to the doctor but the guy is his friend. He said that he switched deodorants because he got freaked out by the aluminum being in it. He said that he was using Dry Idea for years and years. He said he decided to switch it because he was afraid of getting cancer. He tried one and it was terrible. He went back to Dry Idea. He said he smelled like a rotten fish from that new one. Howard said he found this deodorant called Nature's Gate. He said it was working okay and he would have to take another shower after the day. He said Dry Idea worked so well he didn't have to shower. He said that he was catching a whiff from the new stuff but it was only after wearing it for like 24 hours. He was okay with that.
Howard said he went to the doctor and he was nervous about the finger up his ass. He said he realized he smelled from wearing the deodorant all day long. He said he had to go to the shrink before the physical. Otherwise he would have showered first. He said they asked him to take his shirt off and the nurse came in and he could smell himself. He said he could smell his pits. Howard said he kept his arms to his side and he's sure she didn't catch a whiff.
Howard said they had him put his shirt back on and then had him take his clothes off again. He took them off and waited and he could smell himself. He said he took his socks and started wiping under his arms. He said his socks then smelled like his horrible underarms. He said he's a famous guy and he can't be doing this. Howard said he was trying to dry his arms but he kept smelling it. He said he was rubbing his socks under there and it was awful.
Howard said the doctor came in and he was all worried about the finger up his ass. He said he almost said something about the stink. He said he wasn't sure if he could smell it or not. Howard said he was cursing out his deodorant.
Howard said the doctor was examining him. He said that he was told that he wasn't going to put his finger up his ass because he wanted him to schedule a colonoscopy. Howard said he knew a guy who had one at 50 and then at 60. He said now the guy wants him to get one after 6 years. Howard said he didn't get the finger up his ass but now he has to get another colonoscopy. Howard said the guy told him it's better to get that than get cancer.
Howard said he has to have the pipe up his ass and he doesn't like having that done. He said last time he woke up with a stain on the chair.
,Howard said the doctor told him that he should start taking one aspirin a day just to keep heart attacks away. Robin said that if there's noting wrong with him then he shouldn't be taking it. She went off on the doctors who do this and said that they go by an age chart and don't consider the shape the person is in.
Howard said Rick Rubin told him about a web site that tells you about products and how dangerous they are. He said he went on the site to read about the deodorant on that site. He said he was thinking of using the Dry Idea on the day he has to get the colonoscopy done.
Howard said he went on this site and they do all kinds of research to figure out what products are dangerous. He said he put in Dry Idea and Nature's Gate on the site and he couldn't figure it out. Howard read the email that Rick sent to him and it's called SkinDeep.com. He said that they basically say that Nature's Gate is more dangerous to you than Dry Idea. Benjy tried to get on the site but it was already locked up. Howard said he had trouble getting on the site too. He said they may have shitty service.
Howard said according to what he read, the old deodorant was a 4 and this Nature's Gate is a 6 or 8 or something like that. He said he can't go around smelling.
Benjy said that maybe it was CosmeticDatabase.com. Robin had the site up on her computer. She did the search for Howard and found that
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who asked about the Tiger Woods Mistress beauty pageant. Howard said they've locked in 3 women for the contest so far and one of the three will be winning $100,000 courtesy of AshleyMadison.com.
Robin found the information on the site and found that Dry Idea was listed at a 3 with Nature's Gate coming in with an 8 but it wasn't clear why.
Howard said they're looking for bands to play on the show for a contest. They have more information at Sirius.com/HowardStern.
Robin and Benjy found some more info on the Nature's Gate stuff and they were finding that it was horrible for you based on this web site. Howard said he's going back to his old deodorant if that's the case. He said the old stuff was great. Howard said Beth uses stuff with aluminum in it and she was wondering why he was so worried.
Howard said Prince put out a Minnesota Vikings song and it's awful. He said the guy is looking very effeminate these days too. He wondered if that guy is really claiming that he's never sucked a cock. Howard said there's nothing masculine about that guy. Howard said the Prince song is terrible. He played it and said it was very effeminate. He said it doesn't make you want to go out and fight at all.
Howard played some Heidi Montag clips from an entertainment interview she did where she talked about all of the plastic surgery she had done. She was talking about her facial surgery and the new implants she got. She's looking to get H-cups for Heidi.
Howard said this chick is wacky. He said she's only like 22 years old and she's doing all of this stuff to herself. Robin said she looks ridiculous and doesn't look ''real.'' Howard said it is interesting though because he's listening to these interviews.
Howard said that Heidi has a song out and she thinks that she's going to outsell Thriller. Howard said she's only sold like 1000 copies so far. He played the song and said it was horrible. He said it was even worse than the Prince song.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Prince song was the gayest shit he had ever heard. Howard said no football fan is going to be singing along to that song.
Howard replayed that awful Prince song and Fred threw in some gay porn audio clips while it played. Howard said that guy has lost touch. Robin said he's singing in a really odd way. Howard said he's not a musician but he'd like to throw a more manly song in there. He played Mark Harris' ''I'm a Gay Papa'' song. Howard spent a minute talking about that song and wondering what Mark was talking about with some of the lyrics. He said it's a better fight song than the Prince song was.
Fred played the real fight song for the Vikings and it sounded fine to Howard. Howard said that's drunken men singing about football.
Howard read some details of Heidi's album and how she thinks she'll outsell Thriller. Howard said he's sure the second song sounds good. He played that one next. He said it sounded remarkably different than the last one. Robin said it sounds very generic to her. She said there are others doing similar stuff better.
Howard said that the Biography channel stuff will have to wait until tomorrow. JD said he would have it for tomorrow. He said he didn't know Howard was going to bring it up. That led to Howard telling Gary that he has to help JD out with this. Gary said that JD has to tell him if he's having problems. Howard said JD is telling him he has problems because he's on these pills after his break down.
Howard said that if you're a celebrity and you're doing celebrity ghost stories then it has to be bad. Gary said he has a list of the people on the show and it's a list of people who can't get work. Robin said Carrie had a show on Broadway. Howard said she's mental thinking that she has a ghost in her house. Howard read the list of people on the show and they have some people who are working but there are some who are out of work. Howard said that it was basically a list of people who want to get on TV for any reason. Jay Thomas is on the list. He said that Tracy Lords was also on there.
Howard read the article where they talk about Harvey's relationship with Hoover and how Hoover was interested in what he was doing. They have letters that the two of them sent to each other. Howard said it's something that lovers would do. Howard said that Harvey was a real suck up.
Howard got back to the Pearl clips and played her song. He said she looks kind of cute too. He said she's definitely not like Meat Loaf. Gary said they show side boob inside the album cover. Howard said you can never trust the album cover art. He said they could have touched it up. Howard seemed to like the song. A caller said that the chick is dating Scott Ian from Anthrax so he plays guitar on the song.
Next up was the word ''Pronunciation.'' The caller said no way. Big Foot wasn't able to get it. The caller ended up winning $711 from 7-Eleven.
Howard played some more words like Psychiatrist, which Big foot wasn't able to get. He was able to say Baba Booey. Bananas came out as ''Babaianas.'' Howard said he likes that game. They need to play more of that. They had to go to break after that.
Leslie came in and said he wanted to blow some smoke up his ass a bit. He said three years ago Jay-Z put out a song using some of his music so he gets some of the royalties from that. He said he said that Kanye West took the same song and wrote two more songs with his music. Howard asked if he can make hundreds of thousands or millions. Leslie said that it's more than the Mountain money. Howard asked if it was millions. Leslie didn't want to say exactly how much it was.
Leslie told him that it was the song ''99 Problems'' that he was getting the money from. Then Kanye came out with his songs. He said he was on Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy asked why he sampled Leslie West. He said he and his friends just have good ears for that. Howard asked how much money he's getting from that. Leslie said he's getting checks constantly. He said he's got a great management team now and he's doing very well.
Howard asked Leslie how much he was spending on heroin when he was using. Leslie said he knows exactly how much he spent. He said he spent $400,000. Leslie said he was taking private jets to places to get the heroin. He said he would go out after the show and get his stuff.
Howard asked Leslie how he got off heroin. He said he was thinking about that because of Artie. Leslie said that Artie should sue his therapist. Howard said Artie wasn't going to that therapist, he was lying about it.
Leslie said he went to a methadone clinic and they weaned him off of the stuff so slowly that he didn't even realize it when he was done. He said it might be too late for Artie but a drug intervention may have helped. He said that stuff can lead you down a really bad road.
Leslie said he's married now and he's never been suicidal. He said now that he's married he's definitely not suicidal. Howard asked him about the injections he used to have to give himself to get hard. Leslie said he has a new thing going so he doesn't have to inject himself anymore. He said he met his wife and he found he didn't need the injection. He said he has to take a Cialis once in a while but not every time.
Howard asked Leslie how he got this wife he has now. He said Gary told him that she has the biggest tits he's ever seen. Leslie said they're not that big. They talked about how Leslie met this woman. Leslie said that Corky Lang walked in with her on their tour bus and he said there was no way Corky was going to get her. He said he threw everyone off the bus and spoke to her for 2 hours. He said she was a manager of some steak houses down in Florida and they ended up going a year and a half before he called her again. Leslie said that he was home on a Saturday night and gave her a call. Howard had Gary trot this woman into the studio.
Gary brought in Leslie's wife Jenni and Howard asked how old she is. She said she's 37 and Leslie is 64. Howard said that's not that much of an age spread. Howard asked Jenni if she knew who Leslie was when she met him. She said that her parents had to tell her who he was. She has 3 kids and had one of them when she was 15.
Howard found out that Jenni was divorced when she met Leslie. Howard asked how his penis works. She said that it works really well. She said when he injects his penis it gets really big and she likes it better when he doesn't do that. Howard said she's so hot that his penis gets hard on its own. He said that's the greatest thing.
Howard said he told Robin earlier that it's the girls fault and he was right. Robin said it's not always the girl's fault.
Howard heard that Leslie was mad at Robin for not thanking him for donating a guitar to her charity to be auctioned off. Robin said she knows that it was handled wrong. She said that she never even saw the guitar. Leslie said he dropped it off with Jason and Robin never thanked him. Howard said he would have sent him a thank-you note if he had known.
Howard said that Leslie is going to be at the Ridgefield Playhouse in Connecticut this Thursday night. He'll be there with Fred and his band. They talked about that for a short time.
Howard asked Robin how she screwed up with Leslie and didn't thank him. Robin said she just wasn't organized with that whole thing. She said Leslie wasn't overlooked. She said that she really appreciates what he did for the charity.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Leslie who his favorite guitar players were. He said they were Clapton, Jimi Hendrix,Eddie Van Halen, Joe Satriani and Jeff Beck.
Howard told Robin that she should make out with Jenni to make Leslie's dream come true. Leslie said that's not a dream he's had.
Howard spent a little more time talking to Jenni and found out she used to emcee a wet t-shirt contest in Florida. She said that she made good money hosting it too. Howard said he's sure she could win the contests. He asked if her boobs were real. She said they're real... expensive. Leslie said they're done so well that he can't even tell they're not real.
Howard gave Leslie some more plugs and said that you can find out more about tickets at RidgefieldPlayhouse.org. You can also go to Fret12.com and LiveNation.com for ticket information on his other shows.
Leslie asked Howard if he plays the guitar he gave him. Howard said he has it hanging on his wall but he doesn't play it because he really doesn't play guitar.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loved it when Leslie used to bust Stuttering John's balls. Leslie did some more of that and asked if John has a job. Howard said he thinks that he does still have a job as a writer on Leno's show. Leslie did more of the stuttering thing that he used to do to John. He said he never did hear John play. He said he had a solo album out that was so low that no one heard it.
Leslie told Howard about the company that makes his picks making up some special picks for Howard. He had some with Howard's fist and SIRIUS on it. Howard stuttered and thanked Leslie for that. Leslie said that was a quicker thank you than he got from Robin. Leslie asked if they raised a lot of money for that charity. Robin said they did raise $250,000 for it. They talked about that for a short time and Jenni said that they're working for a charity in Haiti for a clinic that they have up and running over there. She said that they only have one clinic up and running right now and it's about 80 miles from the epicenter of the earthquake.
Leslie told Howard that he would be a great host on American Idol. Howard said he agrees with him on that. He's said that himself. Howard said he knows how to talk to people and give an honest opinion. Howard said he has his own thing going though and he doesn't need to do a show like that. Howard said he has this radio show and his own TV show.
Howard thanked Leslie for coming in and wrapped up with him and his wife. Howard said he likes to see them happy the way they are. Howard gave Leslie some more plugs and played a track off the CD Leslie had brought in. It was ''Theme From an Imaginary Western'' without vocals. Leslie ended up singing them live in the studio to the music bed. Howard let Leslie sing along with the whole song.
Leslie told Howard the song was about Cream going out on tour. Howard said he didn't know that. Leslie said he never really knew it in the beginning either. Howard said he thought it was about a wagon. He didn't know it was about Cream on the road. He said they should have said that's what it was about with the lyrics. Leslie said the music is what gets him first and not the lyrics. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said he finally had the Hope for Haiti Concert clips. It was a little late in the show for it but he was going to play a few clips. He talked about how good Bruce Springsteen was and how he had a bunch of black people singing with him. Howard said they were like Gospel types. Howard played some of that song for Robin. He said he likes that kind of stuff.
Howard said Christina Aguilera sucked even though she has a great voice. He said the song she did was just shitty. Robin said she should sing a hit song, not a song about Haiti. She said that she should have done a song that would people make tune in to watch.
Howard said Beth ended up falling asleep during the concert. He said he had to still there and watch it. He said that John Legend guy came out and bored him too. He said he lasted about 15 seconds with him. Robin said a telethon isn't about bumming people out. They're supposed to be entertaining people. Robin said she liked the song though. Fred agreed with Howard that it was boring.
Howard said Shakira came on and did her thing. He said he watched all of her performance. The song was good. Robin said that they nothing about singing. Howard said he knows about entertaining. He said her song was pleasant and he liked her. He thought she was talented.
Howard said he thought he would like Stevie Wonder but he didn't dig his stuff. He said he had to tune out. Howard said he got bored. Howard played some of his performance. Howard said Stevie goes on way too long. Even Robin agreed that ''Bridge Over Troubled Water'' was a bad choice for Stevie.
Howard said he liked the telethon because he just fast forwarded through the stuff he didn't like. He said he liked Shakira and Bruce and that was about it. He didn't like Sting's performance. Robin said she liked what he was playing. Howard said he fast forwarded right through that.
Howard played some of Taylor Swift's song but she wasn't looking that hot so he went right through it on that show. He said she showed that she's not that great of a singer in the concert. Robin said that's true based on what she just heard.
Howard didn't like Chris Martin from Coldplay either. He played some of that and said he forwarded right through that one too. Howard said it's no wonder Gwyneth Paltrow is bored.
Howard said he sat through the performance that Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock did. He played some of that. He played some of Madonna's performance and said that she was really bad. Robin said it was a little ''pitchy.'' Howard said she's entertaining at least so he sat through that. Mary J. Blidge bored him. Howard said so did Justin Timberlake. He said his song was a shitty song too.
Howard said he liked Jennifer Hudson's performance. He played some of that song next. He said she's got a beautiful face and added that's what you say about fat people. Howard said he hung in with that one.
Howard said Jay-Z, Bono and Rihanna came out and did a song. He said Bono should have done his own song. He said he looked stupid up there performing with them. He played some of that audio and said he bailed on that performance too.
Howard said Neil Young came out but Dave Matthews ruined it for him. Howard said Dave Matthews is horrible. He said he forced Neil to do one of his shitty songs. Howard listened to some of that and said it was horrible. He said he had to fast forward through that shit.
Howard said Wyclef Jean was great in his performance. He played some of that but didn't know what he was listening to so he bailed out. He also brought up Chris Rock and Muhammad Ali coming out and doing their weird thing. He said that Chris was fucking up the Champ's words and the guy was so out of it he didn't even know. Howard played that and said it came out a little slow. Howard said he should have read it as Muhammad Ali or had Will Smith come out and read it.
Howard said Clint Eastwood came out with Matt Damon and Matt is looking like he has more wrinkles than Clint does these days. Howard said Clint is all pulled back now. Robin wanted to hear Clint speak but Howard was going to bail on that clip. He played some of Clint's speech but quickly got bored.
Howard said they did this weird thing at the concert. They played audio of Reese Witherspoon speaking to a person who donated. He said it was very odd sounding. He played that audio where she was speaking to this person and thanking them way too much. Howard imagined what that call would be like if the guy wanted to fuck Reese and she was turning him down.
Howard said Steven Spielberg was answering phones too. He played some of that audio where Spielberg picks up and introduces himself. Howard said Mel Gibson was sitting up there too and he wondered why they didn't kick his ass off of the stage. Robin said it's Hollywood so they'd never do that. Howard let that play for a couple of minutes. Howard said it went on a little long and he's not sure why they had to make conversation with these people.
Howard said he enjoyed the concert in the truncated way he watched it. He said he didn't have the audio of Julia Roberts speaking.
Steve said that Mariann from Brooklyn got back stage at John Stamos' ''Bye Bye Birdie'' show. Steve said they have some news about Jay Leno's show and also about Eric the Midget being back with his American Idol wrap up show.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down the list of things they'd be covering on today's show. They spent a few minutes talking about some of that stuff.
Robin started her news talking about some stories that were out about him returning to terrestrial radio. Howard said he's not sure how that all goes so wrong. He said he's had a lot of phone calls about going back but he's not going back. Howard said that he's not going back and he doesn't care if he's not out there as much as he was on terrestrial. He said just because he's had offers doesn't mean he's going back. Robin said they keep floating the rumor even though he never said he was going back.
Howard said he doesn't even care if he gets a contract to stay there. He said he doesn't care and he's not going to kiss the company's ass like Conan did. Robin said Conan had a 7.9 rating with his last show on Friday. She said they should do that all the time and just say it's his last show. Robin said Letterman had a 2.something rating with his show that night. Robin said it was a big night for Conan over there. They spent a few minutes talking about the Conan and Jay Leno stuff. Jon Hein came in and said that Jay returns on March 1st and he's not sure how they're going to spin it on Oprah when he's on there.
Robin said that Gary Coleman was arrested over the weekend. She said that he was picked up on a Domestic Violence warrant. Robin said that he looks ominous in the picture she saw of him. Robin said that he could probably take out Howard's knees. She read the details about what they knew but there weren't many details about what the warrant was for.
Howard checked out the picture of Gary Coleman and said he looks very angry in it. He said he had some facial hair going and that's always good if you're a midget.
Robin read some news about Tiger woods and his wife. She said that his wife has visited him in rehab and they want to work things out from what they're saying in the article she was reading. Robin read about another woman who has come out saying she slept with Tiger. She had some details about that.
Robin said there are rumors that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie may be breaking up. Howard said he loves that. He said they have 6 kids and now they're going to break up. That was very well thought out. Robin said she read that there was an agreement signed last year to split up their assets and have joint custody of the kids even though they'll be staying with Jolie. Howard said Pitt had it made and now he's stuck visiting those 6 kids. Howard said he knows dudes and he knew that wasn't going to work out.
Robin read some news about the movie ''Avatar'' beating out Titanic as the biggest movie of all time already.
Robin read about the Hope For Haiti concert and had some audio of George Clooney speaking during the concert. Robin said they estimate that they brought in about $58 million for the relief effort. Robin had some audio of Bill Clinton speaking during the concert too. Howard and Fred were doing their Clinton impressions joking about how he gets blow jobs down there in trade for a Twinkie.
Robin read some news about a new Osama bin Laden tape that came out over the weekend. Robin had some audio of some people talking about that. She said that they're not sure if he had anything to do with the latest bombing or not and they think that he could be taking credit for it just because his popularity is waning.
Robin talked about the teams that are going to the Super Bowl. Howard actually knew who was going which was a bit of a surprise. Robin read some details about the games that were played over the weekend. She also brought up Brett Favre and how people are wondering if he's going to be out or if he'll come back.
Robin read a story about a woman who killed her boyfriend by sitting on him. Robin said that she pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter. She weighed over 300 pounds but the cops weren't able to get an actual weight because theirs only went up to 350 pounds.
Robin read about a man who was arrested for urinating on $600 worth of steaks at a Walmart store. She had some details about that story.
Robin read about Andy Dick's legal problems. She said that Dick was arrested in West Virginia for groping and kissing a guy at the comedy club he was working at. Robin had details of that story and Howard said Andy is kind of crazy sometimes. He doesn't seem to get that people don't like to be touched. He said down in West Virginia they're really tolerant of gay hijinx.
Robin said there were rumors that Johnny Depp was dead over the weekend but they were untrue. Robin said that the rumors said he was killed in a car accident. They were completely false according to Depp's representatives.
Robin read about a new Mel Gibson movie and had some audio of Mel talking about that. Howard let that play through a bit but cut it off saying he can't stand the guy.
Robin had some audio of Kristin Bell talking about a new movie she's in. Howard listened to some of that but he said it sounds like she just likes hearing her own voice. He cut that one off pretty quick.
Robin read about the new Tooth Fairy movie and how Julie Andrews is in that. She said she feels really bad for her having to work with Dwayne Johnson in the movie. Howard played some of the audio of Julie Andrews and Robin talked about how sad it is that she lost her voice. Robin said that Stone Cold Steve Austin is in an episode of ''Chuck'' tonight. He's playing an assassin in the show. Howard said that makes sense. More than The Tooth Fairy movie. They ended the show after that, right around 10:55am.
JD said he would come in overnight to do it and that's why he was doing it that way. He'd have stuff ready when Howard came in. JD said he knew that it was going to get fucked up eventually and that came true this morning.
Jon asked if he needs help. JD said he doesn't need help but he wishes Howard would wait to get to some of that stuff so he'd have time to pull it. JD said it's his own fault for not having it for Howard. He said he has to figure out a way to prioritize. He would have come in on Saturday if he knew this was going to happen. JD said he doesn't feel comfortable letting someone else do what he's in charge of.
Gary said he understands that but this particular thing is a quick cut and edit and almost impossible to mess up. He said he learned early on with Howard that you just have to pull the stuff that you think Howard isn't going to need, first. He said that's what he's been doing for years. Gary said he knows what Howard is going to go for like today he was going to do the Haiti concert first.
JD said he goes through a lot of web sites to figure out what people thought was controversial during shows and nothing was really popping up. That was part of why he didn't have it ready to pull. JD said he's thought about writing to Howard during vacations to ask him to pull stuff he sees.
Gary said JD shouldn't have to come in on a Saturday to work. He should be able to ask Scott to pull some stuff for him. JD said he knows that but he just didn't get a chance to do that.
JD was saying he would like to take full responsibility for the stuff he's supposed to do. He had asked someone else to record the Eric the Midget show stuff and it didn't get done. He said he has to do stuff himself to make sure it gets done.
Gary said that they can find someone to get the work done if he can't find time. He said they'll go to Tim Sabean and Tim will find someone. Jon asked Gary about how Howard was putting a lot of blame on him today. Gary said he didn't even know that JD had moved his hours. He said he was kind of unfairly blamed for that stuff because JD isn't telling him he has these issues.
JD said he wanted Howard that he may not have stuff on time for him and Howard was okay with that. He said that he wasn't okay with it today though.
Jon played some audio of Howard and JD talking about the clips and Howard told JD he was in charge of Scott now.
After that Scott the Engineer came in so Jon asked him about what Howard was saying today. Scott said he gets there at 3:30 in the morning today and he does have a lighter work load there so he will try to help the best he can. Gary said that Scott isn't working on bits the way he used to either. Scott said he has different responsibilities there now. He said he has to make sure that things are all working and make sure things run smoothly. He said back at K-Rock he had that and even the air conditioning to check on.
Scott said that today they brought in the Haiti stuff for him to pull and then Robin came in with her news clips. He said he has to prioritize everything there.
Jon asked Ronnie what he thinks about Scott having it easy there. Ronnie said that they yuck it up in there all the time. He said he actually sees Scott doing something all of the time. He said he has to leave the room a lot because he plays stuff over the show. Scott said he has the appearance of not doing much of anything when he's actually doing a lot.
Jon asked JD if he'll fire Scott the way Howard told him to. JD said he's not sure he'll say he has to be fired but he has no problem throwing him under the bus. Ronnie told Scott to watch out because look at what he did to him.
Gary said that he didn't know how bad things were with JD. He said he should have delved in a little deeper when he asks him how he's doing. Scott said he shouldn't have gotten the crap he got either. He said that he's right there for JD if he needs help. He said he doesn't sit there doing nothing all day either.
JD said that they have other ways of finding some clips to play on the show. He said they have a service they can use for clips from the Grammys and stuff like that. JD said they're working on figuring out how to do all of that.
Gary said they can find someone to come in the night of the show to work and pull clips. Gary said they used to have Robin call in and tell a guy to pull clips as the show was running live. Gary said they could do something like that. JD said they'll figure it out.
Gary said they could set Scott up with a TiVo and have him trade programs with JD so they can work on stuff at the same time.
A caller asked JD about the Haiti concert and why he checks the web sites to see what's going on. She wondered why he doesn't watch them himself. JD said he can't watch everything. He said that he goes to bed at 9pm. Scott said they don't work 24/7 and they have lives outside of the place. The caller said that it was a major TV event and he should have watched it. JD said he can have the information ahead of time but he still has to pull the clips in real time.
The guys were talking about the way they record the shows and how they can get audio pulled. They were getting very deep into the way they work things in the back offices there.
Gary said that if JD needs help he should ask for it. JD said that he knows he has to do that but he feels weird asking for help.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Gary should have a greater handle on the expectations that Howard has. He said he should be checking up on his guys. Gary said that JD has been doing a phenomenal job and he asked him if he's okay and JD says he's fine. He said he's not sure what else he can do. The caller said Gary is part of the show and he should know what Howard expects. Gary said that it's very simplistic to say that but it's not all his fault. JD said it's not Gary's fault. He said he doesn't like making an issue out of things there and he likes to figure it out on his own. JD said it's all his own fault and he doesn't want anyone else to be blamed.
Jon said that Jason was picked over someone there. Scott said that was him. JD said that Scott was picked over him so that was another great day for his self esteem.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary is an excellent manager. He said he doesn't think that he micro manages the staff there. Gary said that they have a great staff there and JD odes a phenomenal job there so this was just a little glitch that they'll get worked out.
Another caller said he thinks that they're all great there but DVRs are already out for broadcasting and they should have video servers to record several shows at one time. Gar said they have access to them but you still have to take the audio and lay it down in a track. Gary said they have to lay it down in real time. Gary wondered if the guy has access to something that allows them to do it in a different way. Jon had already hung up on the guy though.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked JD if he has heard the promos for Ronnie's show. JD said he hasn't heard them. The caller said that he heard the promo and he wondered why he would have the Howard TV guy on the show with him. Ronnie said Richie Wilson came up with the idea for the show so that's why he's on.
JD was laughing while Ronnie was talking about how annoying Howard was with the discussion he had today. He said he was canceling the show before he even heard it. Ronnie said he doesn't know what's going to happen or if he'll even show up tonight.
The caller asked Ronnie what he has for him tonight on the show. Ronnie said they'll take phone calls from people who need help. The caller said he thinks that JD will get he power to cancel another show very soon.
The caller asked Gary if he hates his home theater now that Howard has been such an asshole about it. Gary said he swears on the life of his kids that when he goes into that room he doesn't give Howard's comments a thought at all. He said he loves the home theater. He said the arguments are his own fault because he lets Howard get to him. Gary said he doesn't agree with Howard on a lot of stuff and he's not just going to agree with him because he makes fun of it.
Jon said that the stuff can get to some people. He said some people take it more seriously than others. Ronnie asked why he would say that. Ronnie said he and Gary are both kind of like that and they do take it to heart sometimes. Gary said Jason takes it very seriously when something comes up on the air.
JD said he doesn't agree with Howard on some stuff. He said he does respect his opinion on a lot of stuff though. Gary said he looked into the deodorant that Howard started to use. He said he's glad he never did start using it though. Scott said he agrees with Howard on some stuff but not everything.
Gary said that he loves it when Howard tells people that they don't even know themselves when they say that he's wrong about something. Gary said he loves being able to tell Howard ''fuck you'' when he does that. They went to break a short time later.
Gary said that Leslie used to come on and tell the stories about injecting his penis and the stories were always disgusting. Gary said Leslie had to know in advance enough to inject a needle in his penis hours before he was going to have sex.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he could sympathize with Gary over the Jets loss since he's a Vikings fan. The caller also said that Robin didn't apologize to Leslie today. Jon said he thinks she did but it was very quick. Jon asked Gary what happened with that. Gary said Robin wasn't in the position to send out thank-you notes. She did say that she fucked up though.
Jon played a clip from the Leslie West interview where Leslie was talking about the failure of Robin to thank him. They also mentioned that John Stamos was upset with her too.
After that Jason was talking about how he was part of that charity thing and he was a lot of the infrastructure of her charity. Gary said that Robin sounded like she was blaming him for that. Jason said if that's the case then that's not right. Jason said he was kind of embarrassed today because Leslie was asking him today about the whole thing and he didn't know that no thank-you note was sent out. He said he didn't send anything out so maybe no thank you notes went out.
Jason also said that Robin didn't apologize to Leslie today. He said that she took responsibility though. Gary said he's sure that she is sorry for what happened. He said he's not sure if she actually said she was sorry though.
Jon asked the guys if they have ever gotten a thank-you from Robin. Benjy said he has. The other guys said they had too.
Ralph called in and said that he had something to do with the John Stamos charity thing. He said that John did two things for Robin and she never thanked him for that. Gary said he wasn't steaming mad but he thought it was odd that she didn't say anything to him. Ralph said that was John being mad. He said he doesn't get really mad though. Ralph said it's weird that Robin doesn't think people that way. He said it might be a passive aggressive thing.
Gary asked the guys who sent Howard and Beth a thank-you note to Howard and Beth for their party. Some of the guys did but others said that they had emailed. Gary said Howard appreciates the written note thing. Benjy joked that they all have to figure out who sent a note to Howard first for the Christmas party thing.
Another caller said that sports isn't a huge thing on the show but the other night they were playing a show that was a replay and they were talking about the Jet / Charger game. He said that they were talking about the Jets being outplayed and when they talk about sports on the show they don't have a clue. He said they have opinions but it's hard to listen to them when they talk sports.
Gary said it sounds like this guy is more upset about Scott DePace than anyone else. The caller said he's upset about Ralph calling in and talking sports too. The caller said he's a die hard sports fan but when he hears them talking about it they drive him nuts. The caller said that Gary sounds like a sports fan but it doesn't run his life. He said guys like DePace and Ralph just shouldn't be talking sports. He said Jon Hein knows his stuff but the rest of them talking is painful.
Gary said that they don't spend a ton of time talking sports and they like to get opinions from everyone. Ralph called in and said that he knows what he's talking about and the caller doesn't. He and the caller went off on each other for a minute. The caller said that they have 22 starters on the Jets and he wants to know if Ralph can name 7. Ralph said he likes the game of football and he's not in love with the Jets. He can't name 7 Jets. He said he knows that Rex Ryan is huge though. Jason said they're talking about trying to get Rex to lose weight.
Another caller said they have to talk about the Lisa G thing because guys are losing erections to her. He said that he's been laughing his ass off since that part of the show today. Gary said that Lisa is in phenomenal shape and he doesn't get that.
The guys talked about the joke Lisa made about the erection thing when the mic fell over when she came in. Gary said she could have just said no to Howard and it would have been over. They had to end the show after that.
Howard started the show talking about his tough morning. He said Gary is phlegmy today and he was having trouble listening to him. He said he's constantly clearing his throat. Howard said Robin's mic wasn't on either so he said that was the new way they were going to do the show. Robin said she could do that from home.
Howard said Gary was clearing his throat right from the beginning when he came in. Gary said that now it's done and he thinks it's his nerves around Howard. He said he's not nervous but this comes up as an issue and it makes him think about it even more so he clears his throat.
Howard asked Jon Hein if he hears it. Jon said he does but he thinks that Gary thinks about it when he goes in there and that makes it worse. Howard said it's a psychosomatic thing and he has to get that taken care of. Gary said if he stoped bringing it up on the air he wouldn't think about it. Howard told Robin she'd throw up from it.
Robin said she's heard it and you do want to throw up hearing it. Howard said he was going to throw up just thinking about it.
Howard got a note saying that Gary does that on the Wrap Up Show and he uses the cough button to cover it up. Howard asked if he's still smoking. Gary said he's not. He said it might be the weather. Howard said he doesn't know if it's the weather or not. He said it ruins his breakfast.
Gary said that Robin was part of the whole thing and she had to have known about the items they were auctioning off. Gary said she should have gone through it and figured out who she needed to thank. Robin said she did get thank-you cards for people and her assistant was helping out with that. It never happened so now you don't see that assistant around anymore. Robin said she's taking full responsibility for what happened. She said she appreciated what everyone did but she didn't get around to thanking everyone.
Howard played the audio of Ralph coming down on Robin yesterday. Robin said that Ralph can suck it. In the clip Ralph was talking about John Stamos being upset with her over the same charity event and not being thanked for helping. Gary said that John brought it up with him too and wondered why he didn't hear a word.
After the clip Howard said Robin was getting slammed and she didn't get a chance to defend herself. He played more of the audio where Ralph said that Robin can be a nice person but she doesn't thank people. Robin wondered what Ralph is complaining about and why he thinks he deserves a thank-you.
Howard asked Benjy if he's serious about that girl he brought to the party. Benjy said he's dating her and he hasn't asked anyone else out. Howard asked if he's in love. Benjy said that he has loving feelings. He said he's not in love. Howard told him to fall in love and stay that way. Robin said that he's saying he isn't asking anyone else out on the show. Benjy said that he's not in a committed relationship. He said he's staying monogamous with her... in a way.
Howard said you see Benjy on the street and you'd think that he'd marry any girl that would go out with him. Benjy started to explain his philosophy on relationships but Howard cut him off and said he didn't want to hear that.
Howard said Benjy is banging a super hot chick. He said it's only been a little while but he's with this hot chick. Robin said she has a lot of questions about that relationship. Robin wanted to know what she does for a living. Benjy said she's been a stripper but she wants to get away from that. Benjy said she hasn't done it for a while now but she's living off of that money.
Benjy said that she'd like to find something to do and he'd like to talk about it on the air. Fred was joking that she wanted to become the Chairman of the Federal Reserve and he talked about it while doing his Benjy voice.
Howard said he likes Benjy's girlfriend and she seems like a fun girl. Howard asked if she gets it on with girls. Benjy said she'll have to talk about that on her own. Benjy said he won't bring another girl in unless he's in a committed relationship. Howard said that's good that he as such a high opinion of himself.
Howard said he found Benjy's girl to be charming. Robin said he didn't spend any real time with her. Howard said he looked at her for a while and that was enough. Robin wanted him to go on a double date with them to find out just how charming she is.
Howard checked out some pictures of her in the studio and said that she had some big boobs. Benjy said she just had some implants put in before those pictures were taken.
Benjy thought that Howard had pictures of most of their wives there. Howard said he really doesn't. He said he even told Bubba not to send him pictures of his wife after he offered that last week. He said it could get weird if they did that. He said he did thank Bubba for the offer though.
Howard said Gary came to him and handed him a microphone for his birthday. He said it had an NBC sticker on it and a new stand on it. He said he's not sure if it's an old microphone from NBC or what. There are pieces falling off of it so it's definitely old. Howard said it was very nice of him but it was odd because he just threw it in his hands and walked away.
Howard said he wrote Bubba a note about the gift. He said he made sure to do it after everyone came down on Robin. He said sometimes he screws up and forgets. He understands how Robin could let that slide. Robin said the charity thing got big and all of the helpers ran off.
Gary came in and said the microphone was just an old one that he stuck an NBC sticker on. He said it wasn't from NBC. He said nothing was falling off of it when he bought it. Howard said he didn't know where it came from or anything.
Gary said it was just an antique microphone that he stuck the NBC flag on. Howard said it was on a plastic base too. Gary said that was new but he didn't want to stick an old one on there. He said he has an old one if he wanted that. Howard said he's fine with that.
Gary said the microphone was kind of fragile so he didn't want to stick it in a box. Howard said he thought it was odd that he just handed it to him. He thought it was a goof.
King asked if the phlegm is like a clam or something. Howard said he had to get out of that conversation. King went on to ask Howard to be the godfather of his son. Howard said no. King asked if that's because he's black. Howard said he's not going to be the godfather to anyone he doesn't know that well. He said he likes King but he's not going to be such an important person in a stranger's life.
Gary said this was definitely sucking up to Howard and he knew that's why King was really calling in. King said this was about admiration of the man and that's why he's asking. He said he wouldn't ask Gary to be the godfather. Gary said he knows that he just wants to tell everyone that Howard Stern is his kid's godfather. Howard said he's honored that he's asking. Robin said Howard knows that it's ridiculous that he's asking at all.
Gary told Howard who he has as godfathers for his kids. His brother is one and King said that his brother is dead so he can't do that. His best friend lives in North Carolina so he can't ask him. Howard asked Gary what the godfather has to do. Gary said they have to do just about nothing but it's just a symbolic thing. Howard said he doesn't want to take responsibility for King's kid either. He said he can imagine getting stuck with his kid if something happened to King of all Blacks.
King told Howard that he wants him to ask Beth if she'll be the godmother. Howard let him go a short time later. Howard said he's never been a godfather and he'd like to do something like that but not with King's kid. He said he should be involved in the kid's life in some way.
Howard said he has to stay on schedule today and wants to get the show over with by 10. He said Rosie O'Donnell asked him to be on as a guest today. He said that he would do it so he wants to stick to his schedule. They can air the interview on his channel and on Rosie's channel at the same time. Robin said she'd like that because she'd like to go home to take care of her cats. She has another one with kidney problems. Robin said this one isn't even that old.
Howard said they have their cat, Apple, and they're trying to get her to stop chewing on her fur. She's still doing it. He said they're fattening her up a little bit because she's a mess. Robin said she hates people who over feed the cats and turn them into big, round things. Howard said Beth is constantly involved with the cat. He said it must need fattening up.
Howard said he's going to do the Rosie show and he'll have to end the show on time to make that happen. He said they'll air her show on this channel like she's another guest.
Howard said he wants to talk to Rosie about this girl she's dating. JD said she was on Oprah talking about it and she met her through her blog. Howard said he heard the girl has 6 kids. Rosie has 4. JD said one of the kids has Down Syndrome. Howard said he can't imagine that they have time for romance with that many kids. He said he's going to have to ask her about that. JD said it sounds like it's going to be a day care center over there.
Howard got a note from Will saying that JD has had a lot of big pimples lately. JD said he had go leave. Howard said he did have a big one near his nose. JD said that Will names them all and this one is named Lisa. He said that's what he has to put up with there.
Robin asked JD how his friend Ashley Dupre is doing. JD said she's fine. He said that she was writing about some of the guys she's been with and he was thinking about how he'd have to compete with that. Howard said he doesn't have to worry about that, he's not going to get that far with her.
Howard asked JD how the Carrie Fisher clips could be that bad. JD said the stories she was telling weren't that great. Howard let JD go back to finish up with the editing.
Yucko the Clown called in and told Howard to throw that microphone in a wood chipper. Howard said ''okay.'' Yucko said he wants to come into the studio to challenge Gary to a rematch because he can't win over the phone. Yucko said he couldn't hear Gary and Gary couldn't hear him. Gary said he can go off on him now and rip him apart. He said he'd give him 90 seconds to go off on him right now and not say anything.
Yucko said that Gary sent him an apology email and he misspelled a bunch of stuff in the email. Gary said he used spell check so Yucko is the one who can't spell.
Gary told Yucko to throw in an insult anytime now. Yucko said he just did. Yucko then disappeared for some reason. Howard said Gary told him to say some clever jokes and he disappeared. Gary said he and Yucko were texting off the air and joking around. He said he did send him an apology. He said they were okay after that as far as he could tell.
Gary said he spelled vicious right too. He said he spelled it ''Viscious'' and Fred said that was wrong. Howard thought he was right. Gary checked and found he did misspell it.
Gary said Yucko wants to come into the studio and do a battle of wits. Gary said he's not a comedian though so he can't do what Yucko wants to do. Howard goofed on Gary a little bit about the ''viscous'' thing he wrote in that email. Howard said he found it odd that Yucko hung up.
Gary said he didn't get the impression that Yucko couldn't hear them the other day. Howard said it sounds like Yucko sat around and wrote some jokes for a week.
Howard said there's new Tiger Woods news in the paper today. He said that he really should get a divorce and just date. Robin said it's going to be really weird if Tiger gets back with his wife and goes around holding her hand.
Howard said they have more details of how Tiger ended up in the street with a crashed car. Howard read an article about how Tiger put a mistress on the phone with his wife to convince her that the rumors were true. He read that Tiger put this mistress Rachel Uchitel on the phone with his wife Elin Nordegren. Howard said that Elin found a text from Rachel saying that Tiger was the only one she ever loved. Howard said that Tiger is a weird dude telling these girls that he was in love with them. He said he didn't have to do that. Howard read that Elin went nuts and that set off a chain of events that led to him crashing his SUV.
Howard read about how Tiger took an Ambien to get some sleep. The wife sent a text to Rachel and said that she missed her. Rachel got back to her and Elin realized that Tiger was lying to her. That led to Rachel calling Tiger's phone and Elin picked up and said she knew it was her. Rachel was busted so she hung up.
Howard read that Tiger was on Ambien so he had a hard time waking up. He had texted Rachel telling her he was going to pack his bags and leave his wife. Howard said this guy is wild.
Howard read that Tiger hopped into his SUV and sped off and hit a fire hydrant and then a tree. Howard said the ambulance crew found him with the windows knocked out. They had to take him to another location after he got out of the hospital because his wife was still fuming.
Howard said they don't have details about how the windows got knocked out of the SUV. Robin said she thought there was something about the wife chasing him around with a golf cart. Howard read some more of the article and said he couldn't understand what they were saying. He said he was having trouble following the story.
Howard said this mistress Rachel is hot. He said they have pictures of her in the paper and she's got camel toe pants on. He said he gets it but that's not the way to go about it. He said this guy has so many mistresses.
Howard said that fucker can text. He said he's texting about getting a divorce and he must be able to text with his feet.
Howard said if you're going to have an affair with a woman, never text her. He said you don't email her either. He said people are dumb. He said he had to take a break. Robin wondered what happened when the wife found out that it was more than this one woman. Howard said if he gets back together with her it's never going to be the same. Tiger has been with all of these women and it just won't be the same.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why Howard took in the cat and became pussy whipped. Howard asked the guy if he's in a relationship and if he would put his foot down if his wife wanted a cat. The guy said he got married to a younger woman and he would put his foot down if he didn't want one. Howard said he's not like that. Howard said he knows that the wives must be really happy with these guys who are so demanding. Howard had to hang up on that guy so he could take a break.
Howard came back and said he had a lot to get to. He said the Wall Street Journal came out with a story about Jay Leno where they compare him to Hitler. He read the article where they were talking about how Leno pretends that he doesn't want to take over the whole tonight show and just wants a little piece of it. Howard said he loves seeing that people are waking up and seeing what this guy is really like. Howard said he hopes that Oprah asks him some tough questions when he appears on her show.
Howard read that other people have lost their late night show jobs but not the way Conan O'Brien did. Howard said that they were really bashing Leno in this article. Robin said that paper is owned by Rupert Murdoch now so maybe that's why they're doing that. Howard said he's not sure but he supports the article.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa came in and said that they have a story about Howard's colonoscopy and how Scott the Engineer and Ronnie the Limo Driver haven't had one done yet. Howard said they're really a pain in the ass to do but he's going to do it because he'd rather have that than end up with cancer.
Fred has had a colonoscopy done but he had to do it twice to get checked on something they found. He said it turned out to be okay but it was a nightmare. Gary said he has to have one done in the next few months too so he's planning on doing it first thing in the morning. He said you get it done as early in the morning as possible.
Howard said he wants to do it on a day he doesn't have to work. He said that he couldn't avoid eating as long as you're supposed to. Howard said he had one done at 50 and now he has to do another one. He said it's not that bad getting it done because they knock you out. He said he ended up in a chair and he has no idea how he ended up there. He said they had a pad on the chair and he saw remnants there. Gary said that he knows he has to drink that gallon of stuff the night before and that's what he's not looking forward to.
Howard said his doctor told him he won't feel anything and having colon cancer is worse than having the colonoscopy. He said that it's worth getting that done over getting cancer and having surgery in the future. Howard said he has to do this on a Thursday night so he can shit his brains out and get it done on a Friday morning. He said he can't do a show and not eat.
Lisa mentioned that Howard doesn't even fast on Yom Kippur. Howard goofed on that whole story and how ridiculous it is that people won't eat on Yom Kippur because they think that God is going to get upset and write their names down on a stone tablet. Howard said that's nuts.
Robin read about what they do with the colonoscopy thing and how they go up there with a camera. Howard said he knows and he didn't want to hear more about it. Howard said maybe his fans would want to see that on Howard TV.
Howard said religion is really wacky. He said he only uses it to his benefit. He said he made friends with some people over at the Catholic channel. He said he's friends with the nuns and people that he sees in the lobby all the time. He said he copped some rosary beads that were blessed by Pope John Paul II. He said that he gave them to his mother in law and she loves it. He said he racked up major points with that. Howard said she's going to be the envy of everyone in her church. Howard said Beth took them down to her grandmother.
Howard said that Beth's mother actually hung up on her the first time she heard that she was dating him. Now she's got the rosary beads. He said that's worked out pretty well for her.
Robin read more about the colonoscopy thing and said they need people to stop eating 1-3 days in advance. Howard said he heard that he can eat all day but he has to stop the night before. Lisa said that Howard can eat all day up until 6 o'clock the night before. Howard didn't believe it. Lisa said he can only eat liquids. Howard said the stuff Fred told him was what he was going with. Fred said he could be wrong about that.
Fred said he doesn't get why they have to go in there with the giant camera they use. He said they have fiber optics that they can use.
A caller said that he has had 2 colonoscopies and he warned Howard that there have been cases where they didn't clean the cameras and there was some AIDS transmission. Howard said he didn't know that. The caller said that there's always a chance that you can get sick. Howard said that maybe he shouldn't go at all.
Gary said he has a list of what Howard has to do. It came from his doctor. Howard said he anted to hear what was on the list. Gary said it was very vague. He said that the day before they say do not eat food, only clear liquids. They don't tell you what time though. Robin said that they tell you not to eat anything purple because they don't want anything coloring what's going on in there.
Gary read more of the details about the drink he has to take and how all of that works. Gary said that they say that the drink will give you bowel movements for a couple of hours after you start drinking the drink. Robin said that Howard is going to need a whole day to pull it off.
Gary said that you can't eat any solid foods after drinking the drink. Gary said they tell you not to have anything to eat or drink for a couple of hours before the procedure. They also say that you need someone to drive you home after that too. Howard said he knew that part. He's not sure how he got that done the last time.
Gary said he'd be willing to have that done for Howard TV if they want to cover it. Howard let Gary go after that.
Howard said he can't figure out the eating schedule. He said he wants to pack it in. Lisa said he'll have a flat stomach at least.
Lisa got back to her news preview and said that they spoke to Gary's neighbor about sitting in the stools at Gary's house. He actually likes the stools that he has in his home theater. The guy says they're fine to sit in even for an hour and a half. Howard said that wasn't his point and they don't need a bar in the home theater.
Lisa said Richard Christy is making the interview rounds. She said that he's going to be on That Metal Show and he's going to be writing a monthly column for a magazine as well.
Howard let Lisa go and said that her pants seem to be getting tighter and tighter. He said she must be showing off that tight little body of her's. He said she's in terrific shape. Robin said she's always been in shape but she hasn't dressed like that. Howard said he likes that look. He said this might be the year of a boyfriend for her.
Howard read another email from a guy who said that Monday's show was spectacular. The writer talked about all of the great segments they had. Howard said he had a bunch of other feedback about the show blowing on Monday. He read some of those emails as well. One woman said that Howard was very hateful during the whole show. That led to Howard talking more about Conan O'Brien and how he was kissing NBC's ass. He said that he shouldn't have been doing that.
Howard read some feedback about him ripping on Gary about his home theater. Some people wrote in about the bar in the home theater. Howard said that it's fine to have food in there but you don't build a bar in there to have food in there the one or two times a year you use it. Howard said he knows what he's talking about so ''fuck you.''
Howard read about how some people put bars in their theaters and ended up talking about how maybe he should put one in his bedroom or bathroom. He read from some people who said that Howard is like a woman when it comes to that stuff. Howard said that guys think that they're ''real men'' because they watch sports. Meanwhile he could outrun them because he actually works out. He said these guys aren't in shape and he's probably a better football player than they are. He said everyone is proud of themselves for being able to name the players.
Gary said the entire office erupted in laughter when Howard said he could outrun everyone. Howard said he'd take them on. He told Gary to tell all of those guys to go running for 6 miles and he'll show them who's a real man. Howard said all of these guys sit around talking sports while they're really just spectators with big bellies.
Howard told the guys to come in and show how manly they are. Gary said someone was coming in. Will Murray came in and said he has an arm injury but he'll still compete. Howard said that he shouldn't challenge his boss and kicked him out of the studio. Howard said he could take Will in anything. He told Gary to name it and he could beat him.
Howard said he can out fuck everyone too. He said he doesn't need Viagra to fuck. He said he has a big hard dick without that shit. He corrected himself and said that it's a small dick but it is hard.
Howard read some more email about the Freebird performance on Conan's final show. Howard said some fans were upset with his opinion about Will Ferrell's performance. Fred said he thinks that the bar just gets lower and lower every year for what's entertainment. There were other people who said Howard just doesn't get the show. The writer said he's not a fan of Howard's anymore either because of that.
Howard read one email where the writer said the bit was hysterical. Howard said he thinks Fred is right that the bar is lower now. Howard read about the ''more cowbell'' bit they were doing and Howard said he didn't think it was that funny. He said he gets the joke but it's not funny.
Howard said that this writer who pointed out the ''more cowbell'' should be embarrassed that he knows that reference. He said that maybe the guy watches too much TV.
Howard read more feedback about the Conan show and said that he's going to go on Letterman and sing Freebird and he wants everyone to kiss his ass over that too. He said he'll even reference ''more cowbell.'' Howard said some people were pissed at him for not going on Conan's show and bashing it.
Howard said he got a lot of email about the concert for Haiti thing too. He said that they were pissed about his opinion's about the music on the show. Howard read some of that email and people were going off on him for saying he didn't like certain songs. He said he got criticized for not liking Sting but liking Shakira. Howard said he's a huge Sting fan but he didn't like that performance.
Howard read some email about Leslie West and people were saying that he's more well known for being on this show than for anything else. There were some who said the love Leslie and what he's done with the band Mountain.
Howard said some people went off on him for saying the word horrible as ''harrible.'' Howard said he knows that he says it wrong sometimes. He said that the email was off the charts yesterday.
Howard said he watched some Jay Leno stuff and saw the lame bit that they stole from his show where they make people ''earn their plug.'' Howard said they do it in a really lame way. He said that they had Billy Crystal on the show doing stuff and James Cameron earned his plug. Howard said it infuriates him when they lift a bit from him and makes it Jay Leno-ish and screws it all up. Howard said Jay had the balls to say that he didn't lift anything from his show and claims that Steve Allen did it.
Gary told Howard that he heard that Elon Gold went on the show and went to people's houses and took gifts they didn't like and threw them in a wood chipper. Just like Howard did there in the studio a few years ago. Gary said Stuttering John wasn't even there when they did that so maybe it's just the writers who are ripping off the ideas. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and had Ozzy Osbourne come in. He was there to promote his book ''I Am Ozzy''
Howard said that Ozzy is a very disciplined man. Robin didn't believe that. Ozzy asked if Robin was still in the isolation booth. Robin said she is. They had to adjust his headphones because he's deaf from the years of performing.
Howard asked Ozzy if he ever wore ear plugs on stage. He said he never did. Howard asked Ozzy how he hears himself on stage. Ozzy said that all of the stuff they use these days makes you look like a fairy. He said he liked doing it the old way.
Howard asked Ozzy what he's weighing these days. Ozzy said he's like 175-180 pounds. He said he watches what he eats and exercises now. He said he's got this new thing that you put around your arm and it tells you how many calories you're burning when you work out.
Howard asked what he eats. Ozzy said he eats all kinds of shit. He was eating a lot during the holidays even though he hates the holidays. He said he hates Christmas but Sharon loves shopping. Howard said he must resent that he goes out and earns a living and his wife spends it all. Ozzy said it's unbelievable. Ozzy said he has a list of gifts 9 miles long.
Howard said Ozzy's new book is really cool looking and it's the kind of thing you want on a book shelf. Howard said he figured Ozzy had already told people everything but there are new revelations in the book. Ozzy said, even with the new stuff, they still ask him about the fucking bat when he does interviews.
Howard asked Ozzy about the reality show and Ozzy told him about how he used to just let people walk into the house and he'd figure they were friends of the kids. He said he had strangers just walking in.
Howard said opening up his house to cameras can get crazy. He said he needs to have some privacy. Ozzy told Howard that he got this weird feeling when he was in a room one day and there was one of those little cameras. He was just in the room trying to scratch his balls. That was his ''safe'' room where he was supposed to be free to do that kind of thing.
Howard said he figured the show was Sharon's idea. Ozzy said it was supposed to be an extended version of Cribs but it got out of control.
Howard said he saw Kelly on Dancing with the Stars and saw Ozzy crying for her. Ozzy said he was crying over the amount of money he spent on her dress for that show.
Howard read that Ozzy had tried to commit suicide but he did it in a half assed way. Howard asked what he was trying to do because he said he could have killed himself with a gun. Ozzy said he just wanted a day off so that's why he did that.
Howard said there was a story in the book about hanging out with Motley Crue. He said that Ozzy used to tour with them and one time he was talking to Tommy Lee while he was getting a blow job. Ozzy said that they had a bunch of record guys in the room and Tommy called him over to check this out. He said Tommy has a baby's arm with a boxing glove on the end of it. He said Tommy told him to come over and see him getting blown. Ozzy said he saw him there and said he didn't stick around to see him finish. Ozzy said he should have a license for that giant thing.
Howard asked Ozzy about how bizarre it is that a guy would get a blow job in front of people like that. Ozzy said there is only one Tommy Lee. He said they were wild and they didn't have any rules back then. Ozzy said that the girl didn't seem to mind it either. He said he only saw the back of her head so he's not sure if she was attractive or not. He said he wasn't even sure if it was a woman.
Howard said these stories sound crazy and it must be hard to be normal when you're doing that kind of stuff. He asked him about losing his virginity at 14. Ozzy talked about that a little bit and about how he had a guy help him write this book. He said he would tell the stories and the guy would go back and write it for him.
Howard said that it must have been tough writing the book because he can't remember so much of his life. Ozzy said he had a lot to tell.
Howard said he read that Ozzy has trouble getting it up. Ozzy said that's not true but Howard read it to him. It was as recently as October of 2009. Ozzy said that was true but he got off of the anti-depressants that were causing that. He said he's doing fine now. Ozzy said he was kind of depressed and that stuff made him more depressed because he wasn't able to get hard.
Ozzy said that he's much happier now that he's off of those drugs. Ozzy said that he doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs at all anymore. He said that ever since his bike accident his short term memory is really bad. Ozzy said that he quit smoking first before he got off of everything else.
Howard asked Ozzy about his mother because he was always trying to please her. Ozzy said that he wasn't able to please her and it was always about the money when he would get together with her. Howard said you shouldn't have to earn your mother's love with money like that. Ozzy said that's true. Howard asked why his mother wanted money from him. Ozzy said he didn't know. He said there were 6 of them and she must have just wanted a few bucks. Ozzy said they were working class people and they took care of their parents so it was kind of a tradition. Ozzy said he never had anyone say they were proud of him. He said that wasn't so great. He just wanted someone to love him for being him. He never got that from his parents.
Robin asked Ozzy if he ever got hugs. Ozzy said they had a hard life and they never really had money. He said he would give his mother money. He said that she died about 6 years ago and they were okay by that point. Howard asked if it was painful to remember this. Ozzy said that maybe he could have done more for her. He said that Sharon's father died a few years ago and he had a reputation for being a bad guy. He wanted her to reconcile with him. Ozzy said he told her to tell him while she had a chance. Ozzy said Sharon went and called him an asshole.
Howard asked Ozzy about his tattoos because he says that he wished he had never done them. Ozzy said it's out of control these days because everyone has one. He said that there are grannies out there who have them. Ozzy said that he told Kelly not to have one and she went out and got one. Ozzy said that she came to him and said that she wishes she didn't get them. He said he tried to warn her.
Howard said when Ozzy got tattoos it was a cool thing to do. Ozzy said if you want to be special now you don't get a tattoo. He said that there are too many tattoos on chicks now. He said that there are porn stars who are all tattooed and he figured that sucking a dick on film was enough of a rebel thing to do.
Howard said Ozzy was once sent to jail for robbery. Howard asked how he kept from being raped in there. Ozzy said he used humor. He said he didn't pick soap up in the shower either.
Howard asked Ozzy if he was made fun of for singing in school. Ozzy said he didn't get that. They thought it was kind of cool.
Ozzy talked about the time he met Paul McCartney up there on Howard's show. He said he wanted to ask Paul to slap a bass on his album and Paul didn't want to do it. Howard said he read that in his book. He said that Paul told him he couldn't improve the song when Ozzy asked him to play on it. Ozzy said he was very nice about it and he's a complete gentleman.
Howard gave Ozzy another plug for his book and said that he's going to be signing copies in Borders Books in Columbus Circle. Ozzy said he will stay as long as he can signing books. He's going to be in Philly tomorrow night doing the same.
Howard read that Ozzy finally passed his driving test after 19 failed attempts. Ozzy said that he would go in there high and he once had a guy bail out of the car leaving him a note saying that it might be best that he not try again. Howard read that he passed out at a light one time. He said that the driving test guy refused to get in the car with him one time.
Howard asked Ozzy if he drives now. Ozzy said he drove illegally for years. He said that he doesn't drive far now. Howard said showing up to the driving test high shows that you don't really want to pass. Robin said she loves that Ozzy has the voice recognition in the car that doesn't work. Ozzy said he got rid of that car and traded it in. Ozzy said the guy who bought it after he had it need up selling it for 5 grand more than he paid for it.
Howard said Ozzy claims that he may have gotten a record deal because of Charles Manson. Ozzy said that they didn't think black magic was real and they were just tapping into the times and they were doing it at the right time.
Ozzy talked about how he doesn't have any regrets about his life. Howard told Ozzy about Richard being in a heavy metal band and how ugly the chicks were in the band. Richard came in and said that they didn't have any chicks at their concerts.
Howard asked Ozzy why Brian Wilson told him to fuck off. Ozzy said they had a guy come up to him one night and said something to them. He said he didn't know who the guy was and waited for him to show up to take a picture with him. Ozzy aid that he took a picture with him and the next day Sharon told him he had to get on the phone and apologize to him. He said that Wilson thought he had said that he was glad his brother was dead. Ozzy said he never said that but he may have sounded like he did.
Howard asked Ozzy if he was pissed off at Bill Cosby. Ozzy said that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. He said that Cosby made a statement about him and he shouldn't have said that when he has things going on in his life. Howard said Cosby wrote a letter to Ozzy and his family saying he didn't like the way they were raising their kids on that TV show. Howard said Cosby was upset about the profanity. Ozzy called him a ''fuckin' asshole.''
Howard asked Ozzy if he'll ever cut his hair. Ozzy said that he has gotten it short before but Sharon tells him he can't go around looking like that. He said he has to wear a wig on stage if he does that. Howard said Sharon is a real caretaker with Ozzy. Ozzy said he wouldn't be alive without her. Howard said Ozzy was smart to hook up with her.
Howard said Sharon is busy with her own stuff to doing Celebrity Apprentice and America's Got Talent. Ozzy said Sharon got sick doing that Celebrity Apprentice show. He said that she was working really hard and getting up early to work. Ozzy told her to just stay home and get out of that.
Howard asked Ozzy about the one daughter who was never on the show. Ozzy said she's doing her own thing and doing great. Howard asked if she was the smartest kid for not going on. Ozzy said he's proud of all of the kids and he's fine with whatever they do.
Howard asked Ozzy about the guy who wanted to marry Kelly. Ozzy said he told her she can do whatever she wants but told her not to think about getting married so young. He said that it's way too early for that.
Howard asked Ozzy what he would do if a guy hit Kelly. Ozzy said he'd take care of the guy. He said he doesn't really fight though. Ozzy said that he doesn't drink either. Howard asked if he wishes he had the wisdom when he was a kid. Ozzy said that was the thing to do when he was younger.
Howard said he read that Ozzy had hookers when he was younger. Ozzy said that wasn't true. Howard said it was in his book. Ozzy said he hasn't read the book yet. Ozzy was laughing when he said that.
Howard gave Ozzy some more plugs and said that it was delightful sitting there with him. He said that everyone should go get their books signed tonight at the Borders in Columbus Circle. Howard said Ozzy will be at the Borders on Broad Street in Philly tomorrow.
Ozzy said he always has a lot of laughs on the show when he comes in. Howard said they've known each other for a long time now. They talked about Leslie West stopping in yesterday and how he just married a 37 year old woman. Ozzy said that sounds great to him. Howard told him about the injections Leslie used to have to give himself to get hard. Then he met this woman and he doesn't need that stuff now.
Howard said he read that Ozzy went out and shot some cats that he had in his yard one time. Ozzy said that he wouldn't do that now. That was many years ago. Ozzy said that he can't believe that people still ask him about biting the head off a bat. That's the first question they ask him and they have nothing better to ask. He said that was back in 1981 when he did that. Howard said he did his research and found out he shot the cats and stuff. He had plenty of questions for him.
Ozzy said Sharon got him some chickens one time and he ended up shooting them with a shot gun and one of them he chased around with a machete. Ozzy said the cat thing was when he was with his first wife. Howard said Ozzy should stay away from guns.
Captain Janks called in and asked if it was true that he drank Nikki Sixx's piss when he was on tour with them. Ozzy said that wasn't true. He said he never did anything with urine. He said it's possible but he doesn't think that's true.
Another caller asked if he's going to do an audio book. Ozzy said they have one but he didn't do the reading. Ozzy said that a guy in England did the read. The caller told Richard to stay away from Ozzy before some of his gayness rubs off on him.
Howard said they should have had Dick Clark read Ozzy's book. He told Ozzy he loves him, he loves Sharon and the whole family. He wished him luck with the book and the tour and all of that stuff. Howard said that no one would have imagined that he'd be an author some day. Ozzy said his dad would have been proud of that. He said his mother would have asked how many he sold that day.
Howard said he's proud of Ozzy. He said his mother never would have said that but he looks kind of like his mother so he figured he'd say that. Howard gave him some more plugs and wrapped up with him. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he wanted to introduce the new Miss Howard TV for the month of February. He said that they have a new woman every month on Howard TV. He said they introduce the segments. He said this new one is Danielle Marziano. Howard said she's got a lot of tattoos like Ozzy was complaining about earlier. Howard read about some of the tattoos she has and asked about some of those. She has a rose tramp stamp on her back. She also has piercing's on her back and neck. Howard said they're like Frankenstein bolts. She said they're anchored there.
Howard said she has 19 piercing's including her ''vagine.'' Howard read that her boyfriend didn't like the hood piercing she had and he made her take it out. She said that she got it done again because she thinks it make it look pretty.
Howard asked Danielle about the tongue piercing. She said she's heard that it makes a blow job better but she's not sure if that's true or not.
Howard said that Danielle works as a Miss Red Hot girl. The girls are hired to work in private beauty pageants and that's what those girls do. Danielle told Howard what they do when they do those things. She said that the girls all go in and wear cocktail dresses. She said they walk in looking classy. She said they get paid to do these things too. They do a dance routine and then they strip down and do other stuff.
Howard read that Danielle doesn't masturbate much. She can orgasm from having guys inside of her. She claims that she doesn't mess around with girls. Howard said he read that she loves dirty talk. Howard said he loves it too. Danielle said that it makes things all that much better. Danielle said that she wants the guy to tell her what he wants her to do to him. Howard said he likes that.
Howard asked Danielle about what she needs a guy to do to her. She said she needs the guy inside of her. She said she doesn't need that much foreplay. She said that she'll use lube but she doesn't even need it. She said ''the wetter the better.'' Robin said there has to be some prep to get wet. Howard said some girls don't need that much.
Howard said there are some girls who are just ready to go. Robin said that they still need a little time to get going. Howard said some girls get wet just looking at him.
Howard said he had someone on the phone who wanted to have phone sex. It was the guys in the back with Wood Yee audio clips. They had him telling her to spit on his cock and stuff like that. Danielle laughed through most of it.
Howard gave Danielle some plugs and read some more notes. He said he read that she likes guys who ''manscape'' their private parts. She said she's not into a big bush but she doesn't want it completely shaved. She asked Howard what he prefers. Howard said he likes bald. She said that's her point exactly.
Ralph called in and said that he couldn't tell if she had nice boobs or not. Howard said they're a D-cup but they fit her very well. She's 5'3'' and weighs 108 pounds. Howard said that's perfect. Ralph said she should cut her hair because it covers the boobs. He gave Jason some advice to tell her to pull back her hair to uncover the boobs.
Howard let Danielle go after that. Ralph gave her a creepy ''Mmm thank you'' as she was leaving. Howard told her she had nice hair. She was on her way out of the studio. Howard said that was a new girl for Benjy right there. Benjy said she was beautiful but he's dating just one person. Howard said she's got a boyfriend anyway.
Howard read that this girl hates to sleep alone so she has to have other people sleep in her bed. He had her come back in to ask her about that. He found out she was sleeping with her sister for a couple of months. Her boyfriend is back from Iraq now but that's what she was doing while he was away.
Howard asked Danielle if she was a bad student. She just giggled. It turns out the girl that she was sleeping with was a friend that she considers a sister. Howard said that was hot. He said that she has to tell them if anything ever happens with them. She said he'd be the first to know.
Howard said he has to take a break but he also has Steve Langford in there with his news preview. He asked Steve if he's willing to box Captain Janks. Steve said they have more about that in the news. He's not interested in boxing Janks. They went to break after that.
Steve said they have more about Vinnie Favale's musical Hereafter and how the family is very proud of what he's done. Howard said it's actually pretty good from what he's seen so far. Howard said he was impressed.
Steve said they have more about Captain Janks challenging him to a boxing match. Steve said he wonders if Janks would even show up.
Steve said that a former FCC chairman has passed away. He was one of the guys who went after Howard. Howard said that guy built his whole career around going after him. He said that was James Quello.
Jon Hein came in and ran down his Wrap Up Show preview. He quickly ran through his list of subjects for today's show. That will be happening after Howard does his Rosie interview.
Robin started her news with a story about a Nazi group adopting a Highway in Colorado. Howard said you wouldn't think the Nazi's would care about the highways. Robin said they do that to raise awareness for their groups. Robin had some audio of a guy from the highway department out there but he was told to approve it by government and activist groups.
Robin read a story about P. Diddy giving a Maybach to a 16 year old kid for his birthday. Robin said she'd hate to see another celebrity child with tons of problems because of the way they're being raised. Robin said that maybe he should take the kid to Haiti and help them out over there. Howard said he heard the kid donated all of his gifts to Haiti.
Robin said that Nancy Kerrigan's family is in the news. Her brother has been arrested after their father died during an argument. Robin said it's another strange story. She said that the brother was charged with murder. The father didn't want the son to use the phone and the dad died during a scuffle. The brother, Mark, was arrested and charged with causing serious bodily injury.
Howard said that he doesn't mean to make light of it but he moved out of his parents' house to prevent something like that from happening. Howard said this guy was still living at home at the age of 45. Howard said that's a recipe for disaster. Howard said with his luck if he had stayed home until 45 his father would have killed him.
Robin read that on January 27th Apple is introducing a new product and they're thinking that it's going to be a tablet. Howard said he's looking forward to it. He said he'd like to be able to carry something like that around to play chess on and maybe have a keyboard. Howard said if it doesn't have one then he's going to say forget it. Howard said he'd like to be able to watch TV on it and things like that. Robin said they may also be ending their exclusive deal with AT&T for their iPhone service. Howard said that would be a good thing because they don't have good service at all around there. Robin said they say that they may develop a CDMA version of the iPhone for Verizon customers.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that someone asked Jeff Foxworthy who came up with the ''Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader'' and he said it was him and Mark Burnett. Howard said that Mark is a fan of his show and they did that regularly and they stole the bit from his show. Howard didn't want to get caught up in that so he hung up on the guy and moved on.
Robin said that the new show on MTV called ''Jersey Shore'' was a hit and now the cast of the show is asking for more money per episode. MTV was playing hard ball but two of the guys are still holding out so MTV is going to replace the guys who are holding out. Howard said MTV is infamously cheap. He said that Mike Judge didn't make any money on Beavis and Butt-Head and he ended up leaving. He said that the show generates money and they have to share it with the cast. He said they're having success being morons but they must be good morons because they're having this success. Howard said they make a lot of money with those shows and they have to be fair.
Ralph called in and said that they think that the new tablet is going to be on Verizon and they'll be on the new 4G network. He said that they think it'll be really fast and you'll be able to do all kinds of really cool stuff on it. Howard said it's amazing that they're able to keep it as quiet as they have. Ralph said it really is amazing that they keep it under wraps the way they do.
Jon Hein came in and said that Apple has it locked down so well that everything is speculation right now. They have to wait for tomorrow to hear the news. He said it would be great if they opened up the iPhone to Verizon. They had to take another break after that.
After the break Howard came right back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin read that the last of the remaining Bonanza show cast are gone. She said that Parnell Roberts just passed away. She read about his history in show business and how he was on Trapper John M.D. as well. They spent a short time talking about Bonanza too.
Robin read about a Playboy Playmate being found dead in her apartment. She read that she was a centerfold back in 1989 and she was only 40 years old. Robin said she had a history of drug problems but they'll have to wait for the autopsy to find out what happened.
Robin read about how Dennis Hopper is dying and trying to get a divorce and the wife is trying to get child support and things like that. Robin said that the wife claims that Hopper has been smoking medical marijuana in front of their daughter. Dennis is trying to have a peaceful demise and this woman is fighting with him.
Robin read about Jennifer Aniston giving $500,000 to the Doctors without Borders charity. Robin had some other Haiti news about the rescue efforts going on over there. They have an almost totally destroyed infrastructure and it's been hindering the rescue efforts. Robin had some audio of some people talking about what's going on there and how hard the rescue efforts are. She had some other news and audio clips about the Haiti rescue and relief efforts.
Robin read about some car bombs that went off in Iraq. She said that at least 36 people were killed by the bombings in Baghdad.
Robin read about the magazine The Advocate listing Atlanta as being the gayest city. Howard said he would have guessed San Francisco. Robin said she heard that Houston has a lot of gays there. She read about some of the other cities that were on the list and New York wasn't even up near the top. Howard said there are two guys in the studio that he questions their sexuality.
Robin read about President Obama saying that Kobe Bryant is one of the best basketball players of all time. The Lakers were at the White House and Robin had some audio of Obama talking about them. She had Obama talking about some other stuff no related to basketball too.
Robin read some news about the upcoming Super Bowl and the teams that will be playing. She said she was guessing that the Colts were the favorite to win. She said the Saints hadn't been there before so the Colts must be the favorites. Robin had some audio of some of the Jets talking about their loss over the weekend. they were saying it was okay that they lost. Howard said they shouldn't be proud of losing. He said it's good to admit they're ashamed of what they did. He said he would be ashamed if he lost in the ratings.
Robin read about the new Mel Gibson movie that's out and had some audio of him talking about taking some time off from acting. Howard said he heard they're having a special screening on the Nazi sponsored highway in Colorado.
Robin said that American Idol will be back on tonight. She had some audio from tonight's episode where a guy was singing Cheap Trick's ''Surrender'' horribly. She had some audio of another girl singing a song and Howard wasn't sure if she was good or bad. Simon Cowell stopped her in the middle of it. Robin had a couple of other performers to play. Howard didn't like what he was hearing and said that he'd kick some of them right out.
Gary said that Brian Phelan went over there to set up for him and Rosie was talking to him on the air. Howard said he's going to head over there and maybe Robin can vamp while he's walking over.
Howard said he's going to just say he's dropping by Rosie's show. He said he'll be on in like a minute or so. Robin said she'll talk to Fred while he's walking over.
Howard headed out and Robin took over for him. Robin said that she has to watch Scott get prepared for all of this. She said it was very distracting actually.
Fred ended up talking about some show he's been watching on TV. He also talked about how he's rehearsing to play a show with Leslie West this weekend. He said it should be good. They're going to be playing New Jersey on Saturday too.
Howard showed up on Rosie's show so they switched over to that audio. Howard said he was just dropping by on her show. Howard met all of the people on Rosie's show. Howard asked about some of the girls in the studio and found out that they're not into chicks.
Howard said that this set up was more professional than the usual thing that Rosie does. Howard asked Rosie what she's been out promoting. Rosie said that she has a new documentary on HBO. She said its' all about kids. Howard asked if that's why she went on Oprah. Rosie said she did. Howard thought she didn't like Oprah. Rosie said she was intimidated by her. She said she didn't dislike her.
Howard asked Rosie about the Oprah thing and found out that she has a lot of women in the studio. Howard said he was very nervous in there. He said that no one was naked in there either.
Howard talked to Rosie about how she was able to steal audience from Oprah and she ended up walking away from the show. Howard said some people are addicted to the money. Rosie walked away when she made a certain amount of money. Rosie said she figured out she had that much and walked right away.
Howard asked Rosie about investing her money and Rosie said she really doesn't even know how much she has. Rosie said that she lives off of the money she makes on the interest and she shops at Target so she's doing fine.
Howard said that 100 million is a nice number. Rosie said that if you have that money you can coast the rest of your life. Howard said he thinks that he never has any money even when he does. He said that's an illness he has. Howard said he grew up with nothing and he doesn't feel like he's got enough. Howard noticed that one of the women on the show wasn't wearing shoes and she looked shocked at the numbers they were throwing around in there.
Howard found out that Rosie has 10 people working for her. Rosie said that they don't bother her with anything with that show now. Howard said it's good for him because they never say a word to him either. He said that's the good thing about working there.
Howard talked to Rosie about flying out to see Oprah yesterday. Rosie said that she can't believe that Howard turned her down to go out and do Conan's last show. Howard said it would have been one of his last shows, maybe not the last. Howard said he would have attacked Jay Leno on that show. He said that Rosie wanted him to go with her to California but he didn't want to fly out there just to do 10 minutes on the show. Howard said Rosie wanted to double team Conan. Rosie said she would have gone there just to say ''Jay sucks'' whenever Howard pointed to her.
Howard said Rosie's take on why she hates Jay is great and she would have been great telling Conan why Jay is such a scum bag. Howard told her about the article where they compared Jay to Hitler. Rosie had read that. Howard said Jay is going on Oprah on Thursday and he hopes that Oprah doesn't suck up to him. Rosie said that Jay isn't that retrospective and he wouldn't answer them anyway.
Rosie did an impression of Jay and goofed on him about the way he's playing it like he's a good guy. Howard said Rosie has evolved and found that you don't need to have everything in this world and you can share. Howard said he's trying to learn that in therapy.
Howard asked Rosie about the new girlfriend she has and said it seems to be moving very fast. Rosie said she's in love and it's nice. She said she's never really dated so it's new to her. Howard said this girl is really hot too. He said she looks very different than Kelly. Rosie said she is very different.
Howard asked Rosie where his Sybian gift is. Rosie said she has it out at her house and she had to hide the attachments. Rosie said she puts her feet on it but she's afraid that it's a little too much for her. She said she's afraid of using it. Howard said he wants to know what she thinks of it. Howard said he wants her to try it out on her show.
Howard talked to some of the girls in the studio. Howard said he's shocked that Rosie hasn't tried the Sybian out yet. He said that he'd never let anyone he's with try it though. He said that he'd lose his wife to it if she tried it out.
Howard asked Rosie if she asked Oprah about the lesbian thing with Gayle. Rosie said she doesn't think that Oprah has gone there with Gayle but she does think that they are emotional friends. Howard said that Oprah angers him sometimes but he does read her magazine and he does like some of the stuff she does.
Howard said he fell in love with Rosie because she's so honest. He said that Oprah hasn't become that real and you can't ask her about this Stedman guy and what's going on with that. Howard said that she's almost like Jesus in that way. No one will ask her those kind of questions. Rosie said that Howard could connect with Oprah if he did her show. Howard said he's sure that could happen.
Howard asked Rosie why she decided to come out with this girlfriend thing. Rosie said that they were going to be photographed in public together so she figured it was time. She said they both have a bunch of kids. She said that Tracy has 6 and 5 are adopted. She said the youngest one has down syndrome and that was her biological child.
Howard asked Rosie about brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. He said that they're a couple of fucking assholes. He said that they met on the set of a movie. He said that's really cliché to do that. He said that Brad and Angelina end up adopting kids and poor Brad had never had kids before. He said you can't just take kids in like they're stray dogs. He said that Brad should have taken some time off to figure out if he wanted to keep having more. He said they have six of their own and it's enough.
Howard said he's happy for Rosie and he wants her to be happy. Howard said he wants to know what Rosie and this new girl are up to. He said that the whole staff is salivating. Howard asked how many dates she had before they kissed. Rosie said it was four dates. Rosie said she came down to Miami to visit. Rosie said that she has a guest house that she could stay at so that's where she stayed. Rosie said that was the first person she ever had down there and Tracy didn't believe that.
Rosie told Howard about how she met this girl through her blog. Rosie said that she was the same kind of person that she is and she's into kids so they connected on that. Howard said that was pretty heavy that she had this Down Syndrome kid. He said he'd abort if the kid was missing a finger. He said he might even do that if he didn't like the kid's eyes.
Rosie asked Howard about him and Beth having kids. Howard said he has three girls already. He said that he's done with having kids. He said the three are great and the oldest is 27 now. He said he thinks he did a good job. Rosie said he did a good job because they like musicals. He anyone who has kids that love musicals is a good parent.
Howard said Beth tells him that she doesn't want kids. He said he loves and adores her and he told her up front that he didn't want kids either. He said he's been honest with her from the start. He said that she's going to tell him if she wants kids. He said he's fine with her getting cats and dogs, just not kids. Howard said he likes the cat they got. He said the cat is fine and he likes it. Rosie sounded surprised by that.
Howard got back to Rosie's love life. He asked her about having this woman down to her house in Miami. Rosie said she really didn't know that it was going to turn out to be sexual. She said she didn't get dressed up for her or anything like that. She said Tracy is a no-make up person too. Rosie said that she showed up that day and she didn't even know if it was a date. Rosie said she got out of the car and she looked adorable. She was wearing cargo pants and no bra. She had nice boobs too. Howard asked what she's doing with those boobs. Rosie said she likes to curl up next to them. Howard asked if she spend a lot of time on boobs. Rosie said she puts in a lot of time with the boobs. She said it's delicious. Howard said he's never seen Rosie like this before. Rosie said no one has.
Howard asked Rosie if she's talked to Kelly about this. Rosie said she has and it's probably weird for her. She said the kids find it funny when they see them kissing. She said that they're okay with it though. Howard asked where they put the kids when they want to get it on. Rosie said Tracy puts the kids to bed and they stay there.
Rosie said that she had some fun with Tracy that weekend. She said that they did a little bit of stuff. Howard asked if she got a finger in the pants. Rosie said she didn't get that far. Rosie said that she's kind of a nerd and she isn't brave enough to do stuff that quickly. Rosie said Tracy asked if she was ever going to kiss her and that's when she had the opening to do it.
Rosie said that she went down to visit Tracy's family. Howard asked how long this has been going on. She said it's been since September. Howard said that seems a little fast. Rosie said it's a long time in a Lesbian relationship.
Howard said they should enjoy their dating phase longer. Rosie said she was living in Texas so that would be tough. Howard said that's true. Rosie said that she has a big house and she has room for them so she's fine with that. Howard said it sounds like either bliss or a nightmare. He's not sure.
Rosie told Howard about her publicist and Howard said he thinks that Gary has spoken to her. She was there in the studio so they quickly said hi to her.
Howard asked Rosie why she wasn't at the telethon for Haiti. Rosie said she thinks that celebrities should have a $100,000 cover charge to do something like that. She said that if they have millionaires there they should be starting out with millions of donations. Rosie said that the celebrities are never asked to donate.
Howard said he felt that they didn't all have to sing sad songs there either. Rosie said that's true too. Howard said that Julia Roberts should have dressed up more for the concert. Rosie said that before the 9/11 telethon happened she was upset that they were going to charge everyone. She said that Julia ended up giving $2 million to the Red Cross back then. Rosie said she thinks that if you have a lot of money they should give a lot.
Rosie asked Howard if he spends a lot of his own money. Howard said he doesn't spend money on anything but his home. He said he doesn't have anything extravagant for himself. He said that he doesn't have his own plane or anything like that.
Howard got back to the Jay Leno thing and said that he hopes Conan can steal some people away from Jay's ratings and makes Jay fail. Howard said he's a Letterman guy. Howard had some Letterman stories to tell so he told Rosie how he and Dave will yell back and forth to each other during the commercial breaks. Rosie said Dave didn't say a word to her during the breaks.
Howard said he has said some things on the air about Dave and that's gotten him into trouble. He said he brought up something about Dave's wife on the air one day and he upset Dave with that.
Ozzy showed up a short time later so Howard told Rosie he was going to leave so she could talk to him. Howard asked Ozzy if he remembered him from earlier. Howard told Rosie that Ozzy's book is great and they should talk about that.
Rosie asked if he talks about the bat's head thing and Ozzy said to Howard ''See!?'' Howard said he had to go back to his office and go to sleep. The guys said that Ozzy was just stopping by to get a picture. Howard stuck around and told Rosie to take some pictures with him.
Rosie was asking Ozzy questions but he wasn't paying attention. Howard asked Rosie if she wanted him to leave. Rosie said she wanted him to stay. Howard said Ozzy was on his show for a half hour and he has no idea what he said. He said that Ozzy is a great guy and he had some great stories. He told Rosie about Ozzy's story about shooting his cats and chickens. Howard said Ozzy failed his driving test 19 times too. He said that Ozzy walked right in and got a gun while he was high as a kite.
Howard told Rosie about how Dave confronted him about the stuff he said about his girlfriend. He said that Dave gave it to him and then they came right out of break after that. Howard said he was in a state of shock and didn't know what to say on the air. Howard said he was frazzled after that. Howard said he's been back on the show many times since then.
Howard said since Dave's scandal he hasn't tried to get back on the show. He said he'd have to bring up the scandal. Rosie said that she can't connect to Dave on his show. She said she's tried to go on a couple of times. Rosie said that Dave will say something horrible about her and she doesn't want to go back.
Rosie asked who the guy was in the studio with him. It was Steve Langford. Rosie said she wants to rip off that idea from Howard and do her own news team. Howard said he came up with that idea before he was allowed to go on SIRIUS. Howard said he was in the shower one day and he heard the news in his head but it was all about him. He said he could imagine them reporting on Eric the Midget and things like that. Howard said his fans don't care about real news. He said that the fans want to hear news about the Howard Stern Show. Howard said he came over one day and spoke to Walt Sabo and some tother guys and threw the Howard news idea out. Howard said they hired some of the guys who did news for WINS and real news programs. He said that they scour the universe all day long to report about what's happening on his show.
Rosie asked if they let them cover the Artie thing. Howard said at first, no. Howard said he's rarely made a request but he did that with Artie. He said that they heard about the Artie thing before it hit the paper. Howard said he didn't want to go on the air with it until it became main stream. Howard said Artie is such a dear sweet guy and he hopes he's okay.
Rosie said she spoke to Artie's sister. She said she has a lot of compassion for Artie. She said that the time Artie started to cry and Howard got up to comfort him it was very touching. She said there are people who care about him and understand. Howard said he can't understand why Artie would do this to himself. He can't wrap his head around that whole thing. He said that he had to be in a really low place to do something like that.
Howard said that Artie is in a facility right now and it was tough to speak to him. He said he was mumbling his answers and he only spoke to him for maybe 2 minutes and it was very awkward. He said his mother and sister are very involved and he hopes that things will be okay.
Rosie said that she has never tried to kill herself but she does understand it. Howard asked if she's ever been stuck in bed. Rosie said she has been at that point. After 9/11 she slept for two days because she was so depressed. Rosie said she understands that whole thing. Howard told her not to see Avatar because she'll get depressed that the world isn't like that.
Rosie asked Howard if he's in the city on Tuesday nights. She wanted to do something with him. Howard said that he'll let her know. He said they'll have a real conversation about that later. Howard thanked everyone for having him there and ran out after that. They ended the Stern show after that.
Gary said he knows that people are going to call in and complain about how Howard hated Rosie in the past but people evolve. Gary said that Rosie was great with Howard too and she'll answer anything that they ask her.
Gary said that he was thinking about how much shit Howard gave to Rosie over the years and they ended up being friends. He said that anything is possible now that it's happened.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's not sure what it was but he couldn't stop listening. He said it was fuckin' amazing. Gary said they have a great rapport. Gary said maybe they've been getting together off the air too. The caller said that it was like being a fly on the wall in a coffee house or something.
Gary said it looked a lot like a talk show in there. He said that Howard is rarely a guest on a show. He'll hijack a show and interview the other person. He said that Rosie is a good interviewer though and she did a good job handling Howard.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that Rosie shouldn't have her girlfriend live with her. Gary said that question might be best for Rosie. He said that she's on her own show right now.
Benjy said it was very interesting to hear Howard doing an interview on someone else's show like that. It wasn't just a quick sit down like on a TV show. Gary said it was interesting to see him letting loose on someone else's show. Gary said he felt that Howard kind of took the show over and Rosie let him do it. Jon said that she might respect him as an interviewer.
Benjy said that it's incredible that Rosie is moving this woman in with her kids and there will be 10 kids living together.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Jon if he gets upset when Howard goes long like that. Jon said that he knows the name of the channels there and he doesn't get upset.
The caller was also talking about the weird conversation that Robin and Fred had before Howard got down to Rosie's show. Gary said that they may have to play that tomorrow morning on the show.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Rosie asked Howard to do the Conan show and she's asking him to do other stuff. He said he doesn't think Howard wants to do any of this stuff with her that she's asking him to do. Gary said that Howard is trying to make this service the greatest thing and he's going to do that stuff to help. He said that the fans aren't going to get upset with Howard for doing this stuff.
Another caller said the show was great today and he didn't know that Rosie was so good at her interviewing skills. Gary said she did a TV show for years and she was good on that. He said that she did it for a long time and must have learned a lot doing it.
Gary said Rosie was very forthcoming with her money situation. They spent a minute on that. The caller also said he liked hearing Ozzy on the show too.
Jon asked what it is about Ozzy that makes him so lovable. Gary said that he's got the attitude of not giving a shit but he doesn't do it in an arrogant way.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Steve Langford's mother is a cunt. Gary said that was Captain Janks. Gary recognized the voice. Jon said that he wants Janks to call back in and admit it was him.
Jon and the guys talked about some of the stuff Ozzy and Howard were talking about like the Bill Cosby thing and the discussion Richard had with Ozzy about groupies.
Jon played some of the Ozzy interview too. He played a segment where Howard was talking to him about his anti-depressants and how he wasn't able to get it up while he was on them.
After the clip the guys talked about how they didn't understand the last line that Ozzy said. They talked about that for a short time and said that was quintessential Ozzy.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Rosie thing was a great interview and he wasn't sure if Howard was ambushed by it or not. He wasn't. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon asked Richard if he thinks any less of him because of the reality show and stuff. Richard said Ozzy could do anything and he'd still think of him as a god. He said that Sal wanted to do a Cockyoke thing with him but he didn't want to insult his god like that so they didn't even bring it up.
Richard talked about how he thought he and Ozzy might bond about the girls on the road thing. He said that Ozzy looked at him like he was nuts when he brought it up. Gary asked Richard if he was trying at all. Richard said he could have gone ''hoggin'' but he didn't do that. He said he tried to pick up some girls but he gave up after about 7 years. He said he went 10 years without getting laid.
Jon knew about the hogging thing so he asked Richard if he ever did that. Richard said he never did. He swore he never did. He said that was from 19-29 too so he missed out on his prime. Richard said he had the exact opposite life of Tommy Lee who was banging all kinds of chicks.
Richard said he had a huge drum set that he would hide behind when he played so maybe the girls didn't even notice him back there when he was touring. Richard said he never thought about taking the hogs. Richard said he was a fan of pumping off and that's what he would turn to. Benjy asked if hogs were offering themselves to him. Richard said that there were some that he turned down.
Richard said that hogging is just going for a big fat chick. Gary said he's pretty sure the fans knew what he was referring to.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that it seems that Ozzy speaks clearer without Sharon in there. Gary said he hadn't noticed that. He said he'll have to pay attention next time Ozzy and Sharon come in.
Jon asked Richard about his new band Charred Walls of the Dammed. Richard said things are going good and the album comes out next week. He said they have some of the stuff up on the web already on AOL Music. They have a cool video out too.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about why none of them believe in ghosts. Gary said he thinks it's stupid to believe in ghosts. He said that's just his opinion though so don't get mad at him. The caller said that there are millions of books and TV shows about the subject so maybe it could be true. Gary said that just because there are books and stuff doesn't make it true. Richard said he wrote a song about the ghost thing. Richard said that the thought of dying is the scariest thing. He said he wants to see a ghost so bad because he would feel a million times better if he did see one. He said he's searched for them and he's never found one. The caller asked if he ever met someone who has. Richard said he has and he believes them but he's never seen it himself.
Benjy said he believes it could be possible. Gary asked why he would believe that. Benjy said there is something mysterious that started the universe so he thinks that anything could be possible.
Gary asked Jon if he knows anyone who has seen a ghost. Jon said he hasn't met anyone like that. He said that he doesn't believe they exist but he respects the caller's opinion. Benjy was asking him what he does believe in. Jon didn't want to get into that stuff.
Richard said he thinks that some people see ghosts because they want to see them. He said he's stayed in places that are supposed to be haunted and he's never seen anything. Benjy said that he knows a guy in Chicago that could show him a dead person. Jon said they can discuss that later.
Jon asked if Howard feels less manly because of he doesn't watch football. Gary said that whole thing came from the home theater thing. He said that he's kind of pissed at Lisa G for talking to his neighbor. He said that the neighbor was more comfortable sitting there in the back and he wasn't even there for a sporting event. He said Lisa got that story wrong and he's not sure why she does that. He said she gets a lot of tiny details wrong.
Jon asked Gary if it makes Howard less of an athlete if he's not into watching sports. Gary said if you put yourself out there as an athlete you don't think of a runner. Richard said there are other sports that are athletic but he thinks of an athlete as someone who does several things.
Jason came in and said that Howard is one of the more conditioned people but that doesn't make him an athlete. Gary said that he could do it as a sport but he's just doing it to stay in shape. Jason said that Fred is the one who is probably in the best shape there. Jon said there's a difference in being fit and being an athlete.
Jon and Jason were arguing about what makes an athlete. Richard said he'd like to see Jon wrestle Howard. Jon asked why he always wants to see him wrestle. Richard said he and Gary want to see him in a Singlet. Jon got a laugh out of that. The guys spent a couple more minutes talking about the athlete thing before they had to end the show.
Howard started the show talking about Richard Christy being a genius. He said he was on the Wrap Up Show talking about ghosts and said if he saw a ghost he'd be happy. Howard got distracted by Robin when he saw her walk in. Robin said that she gets dressed up for work. Howard said he saw that Jim Florentine was on the schedule so that must be why she's dressed up. Robin said it was nothing special but Howard thought it was.
Howard said Richard had a bright idea about ghosts. Howard said he would be happy if he saw a ghost. Howard said that's what people are looking for because then they know that there's something else after you die. Robin said Richard goes to all of these places to find one and he never does. Howard said when someone says something intelligent he's going to point it out.
Richard thanked Howard for calling him a genius. Howard said it's so true that if you see a ghost you should be happy. Robin said that Carrie Fisher talks about being scared of her dead friend and she should be happy.
Richard said he wants to see a ghost so that's why he goes to all of those places he goes to. He said the thought of ceasing to exist scares the crap out of him. Howard said he thinks that's what happens and there is nothing after that. He said when you get to his age he starts to think about an afterlife but then he thinks about all of the animals they eat and die and figures there isn't anything like that. He said there is no heaven and when you die, that's it.
Robin said that you're not just this physical thing. She said that something animates this physical thing. Robin said there is something that is eternal. Howard said he doesn't believe that. Robin said your life force doesn't go away. She said there is an existence when you die. She said you go into what you were before. Howard asked what that was. Robin said that it is beautiful than what this is. Howard said he didn't know what the fuck she was talking about.
Robin and Howard went back and forth on that for a short time. Robin said that Howard isn't going to be a some body when he dies. Howard said he still doesn't know what she's talking about. Robin was saying this as if she knew it for a fact. Howard asked what she studied to know this. Robin said she's thought about it and listened to people who talk about this kind of thing. Robin said that there is something before and after what you are now. Howard said he still doesn't know what she's talking about.
Howard said this is enough of ghosts. Robin said she watched when people died and there was something different about a body with life and without. She said that a sleeping body and a dead body are completely different things. Howard said ''yeah, so?'' She said that something escaped and went somewhere else. Robin said she knows this because she saw it. Howard asked where he's going when he dies. Robin said there is no ''going.''
Richard said that he heard that the woman who created Sirius is working on putting people's memories on a memory card type of thing. He said that he hopes that it works because that would be a real afterlife to him.
Another caller said that maybe Rosie heard the small penis rumors and she thinks that Howard is a woman. Howard said that could be it. The caller also said that he didn't care about Rosie one way or the other but now he hears her and he likes her. Howard said he pushed for her to be hired and he's glad they did.
Howard said people talk about doing a radio show and they think it's going to be fun doing it. Howard said he did things on the road for years and most people don't know how hard it is to do. He said that Rosie is one who realized how hard it really is.
Howard said he was listening to Bubba yesterday talking about some guys who are on in a market he's on in and they're a Spanish team. He said that he wasn't sure if they were the Burrito Brothers or something like that. Ronnie said he wasn't sure what it was. He said that he used to be there in New York. He thinks that it was the Burrito Brothers or something.
Howard said Bubba was screaming about this other show because the other show became number 1 in the market and Bubba dropped to number 4. Howard said he doesn't miss that kind of thing at all. He said he doesn't have to worry about ratings anymore. Howard said it was funny to listen to and it brings him back to the horror of terrestrial radio. Howard said he thinks that they need broadcasters who have had to earn ratings so they understand what the medium is.
Howard said he loves that they call it terrestrial radio. He said it's a big victory for satellite radio. He said that it should be a curse word to say terrestrial. Howard said they should just call themselves ''radio'' but they can't.
Robins said she spoke to Tom Chiusano yesterday at lunch. She said that he had an interesting take on the rumors that Howard is going back to terrestrial radio. Robin said that it helps them to keep that rumor alive because it makes it sound like something is going on.
Howard said he has been approached by some big companies about returning to terrestrial radio. He said it happened within a year of him being there. He said radio has taken a huge hit and they want him to come back to do his thing. Howard said those conversations have escalated because his contract is up in less than a year.
He said he has been asked to go back but right now he can't imagine going back to that situation. He said he can't even comprehend it. He said the offers are there though.
Howard said he has seen regular radio decay and it's just not that exciting anymore. Howard said all of these guys he's talked to admit that too. He said it's flattering that they're asking but the thought of going back is not on his radar at all.
Howard said it would be a huge transition to go back. He said Bubba has gone back and done very well but he doesn't want to do that on his own. He said Bubba wanted to do his thing there but it didn't work out that way. Howard said he's proud of Bubba but he had to do that for economic reasons.
Howard said he had some reports about him possibly going back to terrestrial radio. He said they're making it sound like he's definitely going back. He said he has nothing to do with that. He said if he was going to stay on radio he would talk to them there at SIRIUS first.
Howard said he heard that Scott Greenstein screwed up yesterday when he was on Rosie's show. Howard said he was there doing the show for about a half hour. Howard said Ozzy showed up and he figured that they had him coming in as a guest. He said he didn't want to be there to take away his time. Howard said there was some confusion there and Ozzy wasn't clear what was going on. They said he was just there for a picture.
Howard said he wouldn't have done that the way it was done. Howard said he would never have a guest drop in during an interview. He said you're focused and in a zone. Howard said he got up to leave and it was really weird.
Howard said he found out that Scott saw Ozzy in the halls and threw him in the studio. Howard said the magic was happening and Ozzy threw things off. He said he heard that Rosie's people were livid with him for doing that. Howard said you just don't do that, you leave things alone. He said Scott Greenstein had been pushing for him to do Rosie's show for a long time and then he did that.
Gary said that Ozzy was just standing there and no one knew what to do with him. Fred said he was watching that there in the studio and they realized it was a dumb thing to do as soon as they saw it.
Howard said the whole thing was weird but they straightened it out. Gary said that Ozzy didn't even want to be there so it was easy to get him out.
Gary said that happened eon time on the show when Nicholas Cage walked in and went right into the studio during a Chris Rock interview. Gary said that Chris Rock got screwed that day because of that.
Howard said he heard that it was Scott Greenstein's idea to throw Ozzy in there. Gary said he didn't know what to do so he asked for a wireless microphone and they were saying that he was just there for a picture. Gary said that they thought he was there for a photo but that wasn't even clear. Howard said Scott must have an explanation but he doesn't need him to tell him what it was.
Robin said the guys Bubba was talking about were the Burrito Bandits. Howard said he doesn't know if that's what they're really called. Gary said they say that he's the Howard Stern of the Spanish community.
Bobo called in and said he couldn't stop listening when he went to Rosie's show. He said they were bouncing off each other and it was great. Howard said it was a lot of fun even when Ozzy showed up. He said he had a lot of fun over there.
Howard said that Clear Channel ripped him off their stations and said that he had violated the FCC edicts when they fired him. He said it's odd that they're saying they want him back.
Howard played a news report where a reporter was talking about the deal Howard has now on satellite. She was laughing at his $500 million deal. She was saying that he may be going back to terrestrial radio. They news anchors were joking about his hair and how it's been the same since 1975.
Howard said that he's not upset with Scott for doing what he did. He said he had a good time with it. He said he knows that Scott is going to be looking for a meeting with him and he doesn't want that. He said he was just pointing out he wanted to get up and go when he showed up.
Howard played some more news reports about the terrestrial radio thing. These reporters were talking about him going back like it was a definite thing. Howard said he's not going back and especially to Clear Channel. He said they refused to back him when he was on their stations so he has no reason to want to work with them again. Howard said that Mel is the only one who had his back when he was on the air. Fred said they're going to treat Howard like NBC treated Conan. He said they'll just kick him off the air if things get tough.
Howard said Clear Channel didn't want to pay him when they kicked him off. They used his FCC fines as a way of getting out of that. Howard said he's not going to go back to something like that.
Howard said there were a ton of reports about this whole thing. He said that his hair stylist was telling him that she had 3 friends come up to her saying they heard he's going back.
Howard said he got that gift from Mariann and it was very thoughtful of her to put so much time into it. Robin asked if he had looked at it yet. He said he hadn't but he will eventually. Howard said he appreciates that she put so much work into it. He said he probably would have liked it if he had looked at it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that if Howard did go back he'd have his hands tied. He said that he'd rather that he retire than go back. Howard said he would do that before he'd go back.
Robin said this was already in the news even before Howard talked about it. She said that they're floating the story without Howard even mentioning it. The caller said he's proven himself already and he doesn't need to do that again on terrestrial.
Pittsburgh Pete called in and asked why Howard feels that he never has money like he said on Rosie. Howard said his accountant called and told him that he didn't spend any money last year and he asked why that was a problem. He said that his accountant thinks that most people spend money on stuff. Howard said he doesn't get people who spend excess on extravagant things. Robin said that excess is spending it on yachts and stuff. He doesn't have to do that.
Howard said his parents came from the depression and they told him stories about how awful things were when they were growing up. He said they had one nightmare story after another. He did an impression of what that was like with his mother, Ray. He did an impression of her and his father. He said he has a depression mentality from hearing all of those stories. He said that he feels that he went through the depression and even the holocaust. He said that he heard all of those stories over the years and he feels he lived it.
Howard went into his mother's voice again and talked about all of this stuff he brought up. He told stories about his mother having a hard time growing up and how hard things were.
Howard said Haitians have a life compared to his mother. He said she had a horrible upbringing. Robin said she thinks this is where Howard gets his exaggerations from. Howard said the stories were horrible. Howard said he sees the world as a dark, evil, scary place and that's why he has these money issues.
Howard said he's probably a 90 year old person inside. He said he doesn't want to spend that money. Robin said that those people actually spent money after the depression. Howard said he's like the only link to the depression now. He said he went through the depression and the holocaust because he's been that programmed. He said it's like they downloaded all of that into him. Howard said he's going to end up like the guy in Psycho who dressed up like his mother. He said it's like he shares a brain with his mother. He's like a borg.
Fred threw in some clips of Howard's mom saying ''Hello'' while Howard was talking about this. Howard said he goes to the shrink 3 days a week trying to disconnect from this stuff. He said that he doesn't know what to think about it all. Fred threw in some more Ray Stern audio clips while he was talking about that.
Howard said that Psycho is like a documentary about his life. Robin said she had just seen the movie recently. Robin said that today is National Holocaust remembrance day. Howard went into his mother's voice again and talked about the holocaust and what she knew about. He was telling holocaust stories as his mother told him.
Howard said he's going to disengage and let go of that stuff eventually. He said that it's so easy to do that. Robin said that the guys on the Wrap Up Show have been pointing out how much Howard is like his father now. Howard said he's humored by his father and he does a lot of stuff as an impression of him. He said he's very well aware of some of the things he's doing... sometimes. Fred told Howard that they had to take a break because they had a lot of live spots.
Howard said he has to get to some more phone calls today. He said he wrote that down. He said Rosie does things way differently on her show than they do there. He and Gary talked about how organized they were over there. Gary said they had a guy on the computer in the studio and he was updating Rosie's web site while they were on the air.
Gary said that they don't have a set time to take breaks so he thinks that would make them crazy over on Rosie's show. Howard said everyone has their own process and Rosie had her whole thing like a TV set. He said it looked very professional in there. Howard wasn't sure who all of the people were in the studio either. He said he didn't know if they were producers or what.
The guys talked about the way they had Rosie's studio set up and how she had a camera on her in there. Robin said she was looking at the look of her show and wondered if she was setting up to do a broadcast in video of some sort. Howard said he's not sure about that.
Gary said the best part was the look on Rosie's face when she was talking about how she likes to play with boobs. He said she was like a dude. Howard said Ratso is like that when he talks about boobs. Robin said she hasn't seen Ratso in a long time. Howard said he saw him somewhere recently.
Howard said he had all of his guys in that studio yesterday. Gary said there was a control room with even more people in it that was packed. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said Fred was the one who found that version of the song. It was The Birds covering the song. Fred gave Howard all of the details about who was playing in the song. Howard said it was pretty good and Robin said she liked it.
Howard said he taped a show that Elvis Costello does on the IFC channel. Howard said Elvis had some great albums when he first got started. He said he's got some hit songs and a lot of good ones. He said he would play some if he had the albums there. Howard said they gave him a TV show and he's not sure why. Howard said that David Hinckley has a TV column and he wrote something about this show. He thinks he liked the special and he taped it because of that.
Howard said the show was horrible. He said it was the worst thing ever. he said the shows are unwatchable. Fred agreed. He said that he's got a lot to say but he takes a long time to say it. Howard said Jon Hein said that the balance is off on the show. He said that you want to see someone playing music instead of just talking.
Howard said it's ponderous and Bruce Springsteen was going on and on and not playing music. Howard said Elvis Costello isn't an interviewer and the show was just bad. Howard said he only made it about 15 minutes into the interview before he bailed out.
Howard said it occurs to him that to get a good guest like Bruce Springsteen you have to have a boring interview. Howard said he was excited about the show until he watched it. Robin said she's heard it was amazing.
Howard said he got a lot of email about the show yesterday. He said there were some people upset with King of All Blacks and how they want him to stop taking his calls. Howard said he won't stop that. Howard said he got a lot of mail about the negative people who email the show and how that's not the majority of people listening.
Howard read some mail about his definition of armchair athletes. He read one from a guy who agreed with him on that stuff. Howard said there are a lot of people who are out of shape and talk about sports like they play. He said if you're going to wear a football Jersey you should have the body to wear it.
Howard said that there were people questioning his definition of a man. He said he can use his body unlike many people who can't even lift their own body weight. Howard said he could just sit around naming the players on the Jets and Giants but that's not manly.
Howard said he ended up fucking his knee up yesterday running. He changed the way he runs and screwed it up.
Howard said he got a lot of feedback about Ozzy and how great the interview was. He said that a lot of people like him without Sharon on the show. He said that there were some that were negative about Ozzy but most of them were positive.
Howard read some mail about Robin not thanking people for her charity stuff. Robin said that Howard was right about her and she did apologize for that.
Howard said he played the Prince fight song for the Vikings and talking about how lame that was. He said on Saturday Night Live recently they had this group on called Muse who were great. Howard said they had a great song they played that night and he was going to bring that song in. He said he usually fast forwards through the musical performances but this one was riveting. Howard said that thing Prince put out was a pussy move.
Howard said he wanted to play the right version of the Muse song so he was going to wait for JD to get it for him. Fred was looking for it too but Howard wanted the SNL version. Howard said the lead singer of that group looked kind of effeminate.
Lisa said that Richard Christy was hired out for a 30th birthday of a Stern Fan. Howard said he heard about that. Richard and Sal went to the birthday and made phony phone calls to the guy's friends. Richard came in and said that they were there with about 12-15 guys. Howard said that's kind of weird. He asked if they were a surprise guest. Richard said they did surprise some of the guys.
Howard asked who they called. Richard said they got one guy's dad to say a bunch of dirty stuff. He called about a used car and got into some sexy talk and had the guy saying ''Hey buddy I want to cum on your face.''
Howard asked what they do when they make a call that isn't all that funny. Richard said they know how it works so they expected some of them not to work. Richard said they did that for about 4 hours and they got paid pretty good. Howard heard it was 2 grand. Richard said it was in that area. He didn't want to say exactly how much it was. Richard said that it was worth driving out to New Jersey on a Saturday night.
Gary said he heard about one call he made to a guy that was pretty funny. Richard said they called one guy and told him that he was flying in to stay with him because he had a job for him. Richard said the other guy started freaking out and started calling the other guys at the party asking if they knew the guy. He said it turned into a whole big production.
Richard said they just came up with the premises right there on the spot. He said that the one Hockey Coach was the one they messed with the most. Richard said the guys were all laughing while they were making the calls so he had to shush them.
Howard said a lot of those calls go nowhere so it must be tough to entertain the guys. Howard said he used to make phony phone calls as a kid so he knows how that can go.
Richard did some of the voices that he does in his calls. They all sound pretty much the same. Richard said he did his Nervous Mark, Simon Buckingham, Ethel and more. Howard wanted to play a Nervous Mark call for everyone. Richard told Sal to put one up.
Richard thanked Howard for the job because he never thought he'd be able to go out and do appearances like this. He said that last year a guy's wife flew him out to drum with him for the day. He said he loves being able to do stuff like that.
Howard got the Nervous Mark phony phone call and played it. He had called into a public access show and kept saying ''Uhh... uhmm...'' trying to get a question out but they were trying to end their show. He dragged it out until they had to end it.
Richard said he has a new voice where he does an Irish accent. He said that's basically his Steve Brandano impression too. He told Howard to play that call too. Howard said they called up about an apartment and told the guy that they were trying to find a place without black people around. He played that one next.
Robin said that Tracey didn't want to clean it up. JD said it was maybe 1:30 or 2:00 yesterday. He said that Tracey came walking down the hall talking about how she wasn't going to clean it up. JD said that Tracey thinks that she knows who it is but he didn't want to say who it was.
Gary said there are some people who use the bathroom there that aren't part of their group. He said that Scott Greenstein is one but he doesn't think that he would do that. JD said they think that it's Tim Sabean. Howard asked why they think that. JD said that Tim has these explosive shits. Gary said he heard about that.
Gary said he heard that Tim must about broke down doors there to get to the bathroom after an enema. Tim came in and asked if they were insane. He left as quickly as he came in.
Will came in and said he has followed Tim in the bathroom after he started the green drinks and it was like a Jackson Pollock painting. He said there was shit everywhere. Gary said that Tracey found pubic hairs all over the bowl and she was grossed out by that.
Steve Langford came in and said he saw the shit on the floor about 3 in the afternoon. He said he called Brad Driver in there and asked if it was what he thought it was. He went and found Tracey and told her about it. He said she has a sound bite that's great.
Howard asked if it's an easy story to figure out based on the time line. Howard said that they must know that someone used it when it was clean. Gary said they have security cameras there in the hall now so they can find out who it was. Howard said he's giving the news team full access to everything so they can do an investigation.
Howard said they have to narrow it down to the people who used the bathroom yesterday afternoon. Ronnie said he can have them run the tape right now. He just needed a time line. Steve said that he found it around 3:30 in the afternoon. Ronnie said he left around Noon and it was clean. Howard asked how they know he didn't do it. Ronnie said he only pissed. He only shits in his own bathroom at home.
Howard said it has to be between noon and 3pm. Scott came in and said that he was in there about 12:55 and it was clean. Howard asked how they know he wasn't lying. Howard said if they trust Scott it has to be between 1 and 3:30.
Ronnie ran off to get the tape. Steve said he was in there after 1 but he didn't shit on the floor. He said there was also a Howard TV shoot going on there so there may have been more people around.
Steve said the shit was just a little ball and it wasn't a big shit. Howard asked if it was mud from a shoe. Steve said they were pretty sure it was shit. He said that it didn't appear to be mud. He didn't get close enough to smell it.
Richard said Howard TV was doing a shoot and maybe someone from Howard TV had someone in there. Doug said they have a no shit rule there but maybe it was Miss Howard TV. Howard thanked them for their updates and let everyone go.
A caller told Howard that they had a similar thing happen at his job and they ended up finding out who it was. They blew up pictures of the guy on the wall when they figured out who it was.
Howard took a call from Wheels who said that the Rosie thing was great yesterday. He also said that Rosie is meeting a guy for lunch tomorrow and taking him to go see the Craig Ferguson show. He said she gives away a lot of stuff on the show. He said that Rosie gave away the Sybian and she's giving it to a fan. Howard said that was a gift to her. He couldn't believe that she was giving it away.
Howard said Joe Jordan from Howard TV saw Gary going through the pizza boxes. Joe said Gary saw him and turned around. Gary said that he probably did it because he's used to doing that when he sees pizza boxes. Joe said the boxes were stacked on other boxes. He said they usually keep it on the ledge where they keep the cupcakes. The boxes were next to the garbage can. Joe said Gary turned around real quick when he saw him. Gary said he didn't even see him.
Sal was in the hallway doing his Gary impression going through the garbage. Joe was also telling Howard that the shit in the bathroom had a footprint in it too so they could have lost some of the forensic evidence.
Wheels asked Howard what he thinks about Rosie giving the Sybian away. Howard said that she can do that if she wants but he thought that it would help her out sexually. He said that she was just using it for her feet so it was one expensive foot massage.
Wheels told Howard to check out the Pete Dominic show on channel 110 from 3-6 pm. He said the guy is really good. Howard said he'd check it out. He said he's always looking for something to listen to like that. They had to go to break after that. Howard had Fred play a prank call that a caller had requested earlier where Sal calls a clock repair shop where the Asian woman says ''C'ock'' every time she's trying to say clock.
Howard came back and said that he had the guys pull some Ozzy clips from the interview yesterday. He said that he was asking Ozzy about anti-depressants and he wanted to know if Robin could figure out what he was saying. He said sometimes it's just funny to let Ozzy do his thing.
Howard played the clip and tired to figure out what he said about the pills. Robin didn't know. Howard wasn't able to figure it out either. He played another one where Ozzy was talking about hearing and said something that was unintelligible. Howard said he's sure that even Ozzy didn't know what he was saying.
Howard played a clip where Ozzy was talking about his mother and said something that no one could figure out. He had one where Ozzy talked about being in jail and Howard kind of got that one. Robin said you get the gist of what he's saying but not all of the words.
Howard said he knows Robin didn't get this one. It was a clip of Ozzy talking about getting into singing. Ozzy mumbled something that didn't make much sense to anyone but Robin. Robin said that he said that everyone wanted Paul McCartney to marry their sister but then he looked at his sister. Howard said he learned that most words are not that important.
Eric told Howard that he's staying at Bob Levy's house now and he's not eating fast food anymore. Howard said Bob Levy is a good man. He said he's putting Eric up and no one else would do that. Howard asked if he has his own room. Eric said he has a living room area and he has a big screen TV and he keeps the room very clean.
Howard said Eric has something wrong with him but he's not sure what it is. He asked what the problem is with the voice. Eric said he was going to have surgery on it but he never went through with it. Howard said it must be his voice box.
Howard said they gave Eric a test and found he's not retarded. He has spelling at an 8th grade level. Eric said he was in special ed classes. Howard said he has word recognition and he can do filing. He can type 22 words a minute accurately. Eric said he took a reading comprehension test too but he didn't know what the results actually meant.
Gary said that Eric is trying to contest his mother's will saying he's not that smart but he's in there saying that he isn't that dumb.
Howard said Eric's mother kicked Eric out of the will completely. Eric claims he doesn't know why. Howard said Eric is claiming his sister made him sign something and he claims he never read it. Robin said that if you sign something without reading it then it's your own fault.
Eric said that he signed papers back in July and his sister said that he had to sign cremation papers. He said the papers he signed in August he didn't know what they were. Gary said that Eric is claiming he's not retarded but then he's saying he is retarded because he didn't know what he was signing.
Howard asked if it was true his mother cut him out of the will because he stole her jewelry. Eric said that's not true. He said that he and his mother had fights and arguments over the years. He said he did bad in school and stuff and his mother was mad at him over that.
Howard said Eric stayed in his mother's apartment after she died. Eric said his brother asked him to leave or he'd call the cops on him. Eric said he really doesn't know why he was left out of his mother's will. He said that she was really weak and couldn't walk toward the end.
Howard said it sounds like Eric's sister doesn't want anything got do with him and she doesn't get along with him. Howard asked if it was true that he had to stop coming on the show because she didn't want him to come to the wedding if he did do the show. Eric didn't remember any of that.
Gary was trying to get Eric to answer the question but he was avoiding it. Eric said that was a while ago though. Howard said it's obvious he has problems with his family.
Howard said Eric's mom says that Eric does know why he's being left out of the will but Eric says he really doesn't.
Howard said this girl Angel had sex with Eric and she's on the phone right now. Howard asked Angel if she got a restraining order against him. Angel was on the phone and said that she said she didn't have to do that. She said that she did have to ask Eric to stop calling her. Eric said that wasn't true.
Artie did a benefit show for Angel and Eric said that she called him after he was on the show after the benefit. Angel said that Eric continued to text her after the whole thing went down. She said that she has stopped all contact with Eric but Eric says that she called a few weeks ago. Howard asked why she's getting involved with him again. She said that she isn't. Howard asked if she's in love with Eric. She said she likes Eric but she's not in love with him. She said that he reminds her of a part of her she needs to cure. Howard said she's addicted to Eric. Howard said she has to stop with that.
Eric said he went to court on December 15th and Angel posted on SternFanNetwork.com something about him. He said she spoke to the D.A. and he was going to be in for a nice surprise. Angel asked what that surprise was. Eric said that she was trying to control who he can hang out with.
Howard told Angel that she has to stop calling Eric. He told her that she has to be done with him. Howard told Eric that he has to be done with her too. Eric said he's not calling her anymore. Angel said that he texted her on Christmas day saying he was going to fuck her good. Eric denied that and had phone records to prove it. He came prepared like it was court.
Angel said that Eric texted her the day he got out of court asking to see her. She said she sat and had dinner with him too. Eric said they did do that the last time. Eric said she was lying about this stuff. Angel said that Eric was twittering stuff about her. Eric said that was not his Twitter.
Eric said that Artie was nice enough to do the benefit for her and now she's asking him to get more money from Artie and the other comedians. Eric said that she thinks that Artie owes her more money. Angel said that's not true either. Angel said that she has used the money but she's not looking for more. Eric said her son also stole some shoes and got in trouble for that.
Angel said that her son did steal the shows and she took the rap for it. She said that she was out of money and she had to buy a new car.
Howard told Angel that they have to stop contacting each other. He told both of them to never call or text each other. They both agreed to that. Howard told them to stop posting about each other on the message boards too. Eric said she posts on other sites other than SFN. Howard told her to stop talking about him publicly.
Eric said that Angel prepared his taxes and she went off telling Howard how he failed to report some of his taxes. Eric said that's private stuff and she can't be talking about that on the air. Howard said that they shouldn't be talking about this stuff on the air. He told them to get rid of each other in their lives. Angel agreed to that.
Howard kept telling them to stop with each other but they were continuing to argue. Howard told Angel to stop reporting Eric to Steve Langford too. Eric said that she calls him all the time about him going to court. Howard asked if she went to visit Eric at his apartment in January. She was gone by then.
Howard asked how much money Eric stands to gain if he was in his mother's will. Eric said that he's not sure. He said that he wants to contest the will and he's really not sure why he wasn't in the will. Howard said she must have had a reason for it unless she was out of her mind at the time.
Eric said he misses his mother. Howard said he looked like he was near tears. Eric said he saw her in May and she never said anything to him about the will. Eric said that his sister was helping her out with a lot of stuff. He said that he went to the funeral and he was there for that. Howard said it sounds like a big mess to him.
Eric said he has turned his life around and he's working now. He said his boss is out there in the green room. Howard said the guy must be a saint. Gary said that he has a dollar figure for what he stands to gain and it's $150-200,000. Eric said he didn't even know that. He said that Steve is a creepy guy. He said he'd like to do his job for a day to see how he does.
Howard asked Eric what he would do with that money. Gary said about 20,000 of it would go to the people he ripped off. Eric said ''Yeah.'' Gary asked Eric why he doesn't get his voice changed. Eric said that he wouldn't be High Pitch Eric anymore.
Gary said that Eric's boss told him he was hanging drywall yesterday. He said that Eric turned out to be a good worker according to this guy. Howard said he's proud of Eric. Eric said that his boss his great and he's even been booking him to do appearances.
Eric said that Bob Levy wrote down some stuff for him to follow every day. He read the list of things that he wrote down for him. They're very simple things like ''don't do things you think might be wrong.'' Bob also wrote ''The Beatles are the best band ever.'' He
Howard had bob on the phone so he asked why he took Eric in. Bob said they heard he was homeless and his wife told him to get down there. Bob said they've been feeding Eric very well there and they tried to weigh him on the scale and it came up as ''error'' when he got on it.
Eric spent $28 at Taco Bell recently. Eric said it wasn't that much food but Bob said that the stuff there is like 69 cents. Eric said some of the stuff was $2.99.
bob said that Eric is getting texts from that girl and he showed them to him. He said that Mark, Eric's boss, is going to find a place for Eric to live. Mark was in the studio so he told Howard about how good Eric is as a worker. He said he fired someone on Friday to keep Eric working. Eric said that he's been doing drywall and he likes the worked. Bob said that he wakes up every morning and makes coffee and he goes off to work. He said he's been trying to teach Eric to live a better life.
Bob said that he got Mark some work and he asked Mark to get Eric some work. Mark didn't want to be around him but Bob convinced him that he could be taught to be responsible. Howard said Bob is like a saint.
Eric had some plugs to read but Howard refused to touch the paper he touched. Howard had Gary read them instead. He's going to be appearing with Bob Levy and others in Harrisburg and Allentown, Pennsylvania this weekend. You can find out more about the appearances at RevBobLevy.com.
Howard had this guy Dino on the phone. Dino was one of the guys that Eric ripped off years ago. He owed Dino $750 about 6 years ago. Eric said he's paying off those people now and he had a check on him that he would be sending out. Dino said he hasn't gotten a check yet and he doesn't think that Eric has any intention of sending that check out. Howard told him to let him know if he gets the check.
Howard took another call from Angel who was saying that she tried to help Eric out the way bob Levy is helping now. She said that she hasn't been texting Eric anymore and it stopped about 2 weeks ago.
Howard said there's a woman on the phone claiming that angel has had sex with Eric since the benefit show. Howard got that person, Superfan Trivia winner Gina, on the phone and she said that she knew it from Eric telling her. Angel said that was a lie. Eric said that they had sex twice since then. Angel said that was not true. Eric said he had proof that he got the room for 3 hours. Howard asked Angel if that was true. She said it was not true.
Eric said that he knows that Angel married a guy just for his money. Angel said that Eric is working off the books. Eric said that's none of her business. Angel said her stuff isn't his business either.
Howard asked Eric if he really had sex with Angel. Eric insisted he did but Angel was still saying that was not true.
Howard asked Angel why she would marry someone she didn't love. She said that she isn't lying about the sex. She said she has been honest about the sex before and she's not lying now. Howard asked Eric how many time he had sex with her. Eric said it was twice. Angel said she has not had sex with him since the benefit show. She said they did it a bunch of times before that.
Angel said that Eric claims that he would never do anything to hurt her and he can't get her out of his mind. Eric said he never said that. Howard asked if he was in love with her. Eric said he's not anymore. He said that he stopped loving her when she started being an asshole to him.
Eric and Angel told some more stories and Howard said it's amazing Eric is having this life. Eric told Howard about how she has paid for him to eat and she took him to a hotel. He said that's when they had sex. He said they both got naked and had sex. Eric said that he showered with her that night too. Angel said that was a lie. Howard said they're never going to get to the bottom of this. Robin said they need a podcast they can put up that would go on all day long.
Howard told them not to take each other's calls anymore. This is one big mess. Angel told Eric to keep up the good work and he'll turn his life around. She said that she hopes that people see that he's a nice person and not the asshole character he's created. Howard asked if she misses Eric at all. Angel said that when he stayed at her house he was very good with the kids and he kept the house clean. He was very helpful to her.
Robin said it seems that Eric hypnotizes these women. Howard said he never figured Eric had any life at all. Now he's got this woman fighting with him. He said he's like a chubby Hugh Hefner. Eric said Angel didn't want anyone to know that they had sex that night and she told him to never tell anyone. Howard said he'd be embarrassed too.
Howard talked to Eric more about his mother leaving him out of the will. He said that there had to be something going on there.
Irish John called in and said that the will was changed just months before. He said that she may not have been in her right mind when she changed it. Howard said he doesn't know that as a fact so he can't say that. Howard hung up on him and another caller said that they have to get him on a lie detector. He said this is great radio though. Howard said Ed Torian is refusing to touch Eric so that's why he's never going to get that lie detector test done.
Howard and Robin talked to Eric a little more and said they're glad that Bob Levy is taking care of him and that Mark has gotten him some work. Mark said that Eric took his clothes off at work yesterday for some reason. Howard said no one wants to see him nude. Eric said he was just trying to be funny. Howard said when you work, no funny. He said that work is serious and you don't get naked on the job.
Howard asked Eric if he has a cousin by the name of Corey. He claims that he knows something. Howard took the call even though Eric told him not to. Corey said that he doesn't know why Eric was left out of the will but Eric's mom was a really good woman. He said that Eric was there and he was upset. He said she was a really good woman. Corey said that he doesn't really know what happened but he doesn't think that she was out of her mind. He said that it was probably her wish not to have him in the will.
Robin asked Corey if he knew what the relationship was like. Corey said his father is Eric's mother's brother. Howard cut him off and said he was going to get out of this whole thing.
Howard said he'd have to see the will himself to know if Eric is going to be able to break it. He said he'd have to examine the evidence. Howard said he's sure that Eric didn't know what he was signing. He said he probably doesn't even know what day it is. He said he knows that he'll be at Taco Bell eating everything today.
They talked about his Taco Bell meal and then Eric went over to the scale to weigh in. Eric came in at 343 pounds. Howard said ''Wow!'' Eric said it was time to lose some weight. He went up to 344 as he was standing there. Howard told Mark he's a good man and said that bob Levy is a saint. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Robin's old boyfriend Jim Florentine was there. He had him come in and said that he was telling Robin that the relationship they had ruined Jim. He said that Jim used to come in and tell disgusting stories and now he doesn't tell them. He said it must feel weird for Jim or something.
Howard said the whole time Robin was dating Jim she never met this guy Crack Finger. Jim said that he's not the kind of guy you bring out in the beginning. Howard said Jim was all embarrassed now. Jim said he wasn't. Robin said she's the one who should be embarrassed.
Howard said that Jim is the guy who used to do upper deckers in the hotel toilets. Jim said he did that to Bob Levy one time in the hotel room. Jim said the shit keeps coming out into the bowl every time you flush. He said that they used to do that in high school. Howard said that's the Jim he knows.
Howard said Robin thinks that Jim is a saint but he's a wild guy. Jim said that she should check her toilet at the shore house. Jim said he really hasn't done the upper decker thing in about 8 years.
Richard said that Crack Finger once shit on the card table when he lost a card game. Howard said that's the kind of guys Jim hangs out with. He said it's ridiculous that Robin never met that guy. Jim said he doesn't see the guy that often. He said they don't really hang out that much.
Howard said Jim fucked a chick in the bathroom of a club one time too and he ended up slamming her head into the wall when her foot slipped off the toilet. Jim said he used to hang out with KC too so they did crazy stuff on the road.
Sal came in and said that Jim did a waitress without a rubber. He said that he never told the story before because of Robin. Sal said that the waitress wanted to fuck him so he wrapped his dick in Saran wrap and fucked her. Jim said at least he was practicing safe sex. He said he wrapped it like twice. He said it worked well but it was kind of dry. Jim said that he didn't finish that time. He said it was in the kitchen and it was dry so it was tough.
Robin said it may have been a mistake to date Jim. Jim said that Robin took it up the ass from a stranger she met 20 minutes before so this can't be the worst thing she's done.
Howard said Robin is kind of crazy so maybe Jim is right. He said that she's done the meat and vegetables thing and the anal thing. Howard said Robin was thinking about being a stripper for a short time too. Jim said he used Saran wrap on his girlfriend one time too. She didn't like that.
Fred was doing his Jim impression and Howard said he really does sound like Jim. Howard asked if they talk anymore. Robin said they still talk sometimes.
Howard said he read that Jim is seeing a white woman. Jim said he's just seeing someone. He said that they're just hanging. It's only been a few months. Jim said that they are banging too though.
Howard talked to Jim about his VH1 Classic show ''That Metal Show'' that's doing its fourth season this month. Jim talked about how shitty the pay is over there and how great the show is doing. He said that it's the only original programming over there on that channel. Jim said they're doing 35 episodes this year so they're doing one just about every week of the year.
Howard said they had a girl on the show who died. Jim said that her name was Kerri Lee and she died in her sleep. He said that she was their ''Box of Junk'' girl on the show. Howard said that just happened. They have a new girl on the show now. Howard asked if they found any Saran wrap next to her. Jim laughed.
Howard asked Jim if he's spoken to Artie since his thing. Jim said that he's been keeping in touch with his sister but he hasn't spoken to Artie. Jim said that he lost his girlfriend to suicide so he knows what that's like. He said Robin really helped him through all of that.
Jim said that depression can be really bad and the people who try to kill themselves don't care about who is going to find them and they think that they're just a pain in the ass. He said that they'll tell you that they didn't care about anything in that moment when they tried. Jim said he's been doing a lot of shows for suicide prevention groups and even Artie helped raise some money for them.
Howard said Robin was digging it when she was dating Jim and she said he was ''deep'' at one point. Robin said they had a good time and Jim was a wonderful moment in her life. She said she thinks that they both helped each other. She said that they both came out of relationships and they helped each other.
Fred did more of his impression of Jim and had Jim laughing. Robin said that things didn't work out and she doesn't want Jim to feel uncomfortable on the show. She said that they never talked about what it was going to be like if they ever broke up. Howard said he warned them that it was going to be trouble.
Howard read that Jim mouthed off to a security guard at the airport and he almost got arrested. Jim said that they have an x-ray machine for like 30 seconds now. He said that you get radiation for all that time and the TSA woman asked him where he was going when he moved out of the line. Jim said that he didn't want all of that going through him so he asked if he was in 5th grade or something. Then they did a full body search and they turned him into security.
Jim said that they called him into a side room to talk to him. He said he told them what he said to her and they let him go when they heard the story.
Howard asked Jim about the facial hair he had. Jim said he's had it for years. He has a soul patch on his chin and one side is longer than the other. He said that it was longer on the right than on the left. Howard said it was wild and it was driving him crazy. Jim said he doesn't spend that much time thinking about it.
Howard gave Jim some plugs for his upcoming gigs this weekend. He's going to be doing a one man show too. You can find out more about that at JimFlorentine.com.
Howard asked about the one man show because he didn't get what that was compared to a stand-up act. Jim said that it's more telling stories than doing comedy. He said that Colin Quinn has been helping him out with that.
Howard told Jim about one of Robin's cats dying. He said he must be happy about that. Jim said that the cats used to cock block him when he was with Robin. He had to lock the cats out of the room and they'd scratch at the door.
Howard said that Gary said on the Wrap Up Show that guys with soul patches are douche bags. Gary said he doesn't like them in general but Jim is a good guy.
Howard said Jim is doing well with the TV show. He was in a movie with Jenna Fisher from The Office. Jim said that there were a lot of people around but he did a sex scene and he didn't quite pop a rod. He said he kind of had one. He said he had a g-string on when he did the scene. Howard said he did that nude scene in his movie and he got hard in the bathtub with that chick.
Jim wasn't sure if they were going to show his ass in the movie or not. He said the part was a good one because he has a couple of scenes with her.
Howard asked Jim if he fantasizes about Robin anymore. Jim said that of course he does. He said he thinks about the times they did it and things like that. He said he'll think about a hot moment after she finished a green drink or something. Howard asked Robin what she thinks about that. Robin said she wasn't listening.
Howard asked Robin if she thinks about Jim. Robin said she doesn't. Jim said her new artist boyfriend might be listening. Howard said he finds it hard to believe that Robin doesn't. Robin said she doesn't think a lot about ex's when she's fantasizing. She doesn't think about the anal or anything like that. Howard asked if she remembers the cucumber or Jim. Robin just laughed.
Howard asked Jim if Robin ever called him Howard accidentally. Jim said she didn't but he thinks that Robin has a crush on Howard. Howard said he believes that too but he doesn't want to embarrass her with that. Howard said he thinks that he broke them up because Jim was afraid that Robin was going to call him Howard.
Howard said he went out with Jim and Robin and Jim would be a dud. He wouldn't say much but he knew that Jim was a great talker. Jim said he didn't say much at the Friar's club because he didn't want to come off as taking attention away from him. He said he didn't want to bother him at all.
Howard gave Jim some more plugs and said that he's going to be at the Boulton Center this weekend. Jim said that's the first solo theater gig for him. They got in some more plugs for him and Howard apologized to him for something but didn't even know why. They wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and Mentioned the Foo Fighters. Robin asked where they had been because she misses them. Howard wasn't sure and just moved on to Steve Langford.
Steve came in and said that they're working on the story about the poop they found don the floor of the bathroom. they fond over 2 dozen suspects when reviewing the security tapes. Steve said that Tracey Millman is upset about the doody and they're going to continue looking into it.
Howard said he will grant the person immunity if they come forward. He said he thinks they have a way of finding out who it is but he doesn't want to give it away. Howard said they have a list that's got all of the people on it but they don't have the camera aimed on the door. He said they may have to move that camera.
Steve said that they have a story about the charity that Robin was helping out. He said that they have details on that coming up on the news today.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down the list of things they'd be talking about today. Then Steve Brandano came in with his Intern Show preview. Steve mentioned some of the stuff they'll be talking about tonight. They have a special guest who was an intern on Conan O'Brien's show and on Jimmy Kimmel's show. The show is on at 7 tonight on Howard 101.
Howard played the song that he was talking about earlier this morning that was on SNL. The band was Muse. Howard said that the band was fun to watch on the show. He played the audio that JD had pulled for him. He said he's not sure if any of their other music is good but he liked this song. JD said that they have a song called ''Knights of Cydonia'' that's really good. This song was called ''Uprising.'' Howard said this song was a good fight song for a football team. He said he didn't know them very well but he liked this song.
Howard said JD likes that ''Knights of Cydonia'' because it's on Guitar Hero. JD said it's a good song though. Fred found the song and played that one for JD. Howard asked JD to show him how to play guitar hero. JD called out the colors of the buttons he was pushing and showed how he would do it.
Howard said JD could show Ashley Dupre how he plays. JD said he brought it up on their ''date'' and she said that her brother plays. JD said he likes this song. Howard said he was getting annoyed with the intro for the song. There were no lyrics for a good minute.
Robin called JD into her booth to show him something and went to grope him. Robin said she was just showing him what Andy Dick was doing.
Robin started her news with some stuff about Octomom and the bikini shots that she was in. Howard said he thinks they were air brushed. He said that she has lost a lot of weight and she's showing off that body and that heinous face. He said she looks retarded. He said her body is slammin' compared to the litter of 8 shot they had when her belly was huge.
Robin said that American Idol is trying to find another judge for the show now that Simon Cowell is leaving. Howard said he was watching the show last night and Simon really is good. He said Katy Perry was good on the show too. He said she told Kara how annoying she was. Howard said Katy told Kara that the show wasn't a charity and he thought that was great. He said Katy is looking good too. He said Avril Lavigne was on too and she was just giggling at everything like a little girl.
Robin said they're saying that Tommy Mottola might be a judge. Howard said he would be good if he speaks honestly. Howard said he knows Tommy and he will talk about stuff in private and if he did that on the air he'd be good. Howard thinks he'd be good himself. He said he's found some good artists before. He said he introduced America to Sugar Ray and he's collaborated with them on their albums. Howard said they recorded a song that he wrote. Robin said they chose to do that.
Gary also told Robin about how Howard asked Dave Grohl to come in and do a song acoustically and Dave didn't want to do it. Howard insisted and Dave came in and did the acoustic version of ''Everlong'' that was pirated from the show and played all over the country on radio stations.
Robin read a story about Paula Abdul and how she may be on the next Dancing with the Stars as a contestant. Howard said it'll never happen. Howard said she won't do it. Gary said she's a professional dancer so why would she not be good? Howard said she won't put herself on the line like that. He said she will not do that show. He said she'd embarrass herself on that show. He said he could do the same moves she did in her old videos.
Howard talked about how ABC has to step up and pay the stars big money to do that show. He said that they wanted his wife to do that show but it's embarrassing to do the show. Robin said that they asked her to do it too. Howard said for the right money Robin would think about it. Gary asked Robin if she would do it if they were on hiatus for like 2 months. Robin said she wouldn't do it. She said she would think about it if it was a million bucks for 6 weeks. They had to take a break a short time later.
After the break Howard came right back and Robin had a mouth full of something. Robin said she thought they'd have more time. She had a brussel sprout in her mouth.
Robin read a story about how Pope John Paul II beat himself with a belt and slept on the floor. She said this has come out in a book about him. She said that they're trying to prove he was a saint by putting all of this stuff out there.
Robin read a story about Bill Gates partying with some people at the Sundance Film Festival. Howard said they were making fun of the way he dances and saying it was like Elaine's dance on ''Seinfeld.'' Howard said Bill was just getting up to be one of the regular people and they're trying to make it like he was out of control or something. Howard said he so wasn't. He said it felt weird.
Howard asked why Microsoft isn't coming up with something cool. He said that they don't do anything cool. Robin said they have a new Windows every couple of years. She also said they have that Bing.com thing. Howard said that sucks and it's annoying. He said no one is going there. He said that they also changed the search on his Blackberry and he hates it because it screwed everything up. He said they should be doing some really cool stuff with the money they have at Microsoft but Robin said that it doesn't sound like that's going to be happening.
Robin read about a survivor who was pulled out of the debris in Haiti yesterday. It was two weeks after the earthquake. Robin said he was severely dehydrated and had a broken leg but he was doing okay otherwise. Howard said that's amazing that someone can survive that long without food or water.
Robin read about the money that's been raised to help Haiti and they say that it's over $500 million so far. Robin said that's great for a nation that's not doing well financially.
Robin read a story about a woman who disappeared at a Metallica concert a couple of years ago. They found the remains of the woman in Virginia. Robin said they found the remains on a 700 acre farm that had no public access. They found her purse the day after the concert but just recently found the remains. Howard said he loves that band but a girl doesn't belong there alone.
Robin had a story about Nancy Kerrigan's father and brother. The brother is under arrested for assaulting his father who later died. Robin said they're going to do an autopsy to figure out if he had anything to do with the death. Howard said when someone lives at home at 45 years old, it's a recipe for disaster. He said something is really wrong at that point.
Robin read a story about Tiger Woods wife who is now saying she doesn't want to leave Tiger. Howard said Tiger must be hung like a moose. Robin said the mistresses are saying he was great in bed so maybe he is. Robin read that she wants to stay with Tiger even if they just remain ''friends.'' Robin said that David Duchovny was able to get help for his sex addiction so maybe it'll work for Tiger.
Robin read a story about James Cameron having the highest grossing movie of all time. She said that it's passed the Titanic movie gross already. Howard said the guy makes some great movies and he brings home the bacon every time.
Robin said that Apple is due to announce their new tablet today. Robin said they're saying it could save the publishing industry. Robin said the details haven't come out but there's a lot of speculation about it. Robin read some of the details about what it could include. Robin said that it could cost as much as $1,000 and it may be in stores as early as March.
Robin said that the President's state of the union address will be available through an iTunes app so you don't have to watch it on TV. She had some audio of a guy talking about the speech that's going to be on tonight. Howard and Robin spent a short time talking about what Obama is probably going to be talking about. Howard said that the war in Afghanistan is something we have to get out of because it's going to be a never ending thing. He said it's not going to lead to anything. He said that it's the current Vietnam war.
Howard did a live commercial after Robin did that story. Robin got back to her news and read a story about a couple of senators who are out talking about how we need to curb spending. She had some audio of them talking about that.
Robin had a story about a new ordinance in California for medical marijuana clinics. Robin said it's very weird to walk around Venice because almost every store there is a clinic. Robin said that they're trying to cut back on the number of clinics out there. She said they're trying to figure out a way to get the ''medicine'' to the people who really need it. Robin said she's not sure she'd want a medical marijuana store in her neighborhood.
Ralph called in and said that he has a mock up of the Apple tablet on his web site MyGeekTime.com. He said it's going to be really cool. He said that he's going to be one of those douche bags standing in line waiting for hours and hours. Ralph said he's not sure what he's going to do in the mean time.
Robin read a story about today being remembrance of the holocaust. She had some of a guy talking about that. Howard said there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't remember that. He said he remembers it every day. He said he doesn't forget 9/11 either. He said that Hitler did himself a favor by killing himself and this Osama bin Laden is laughing at us in his cave. Howard said this is like Hitler being alive. He said they need to do one thing and kill that mother fuckin' guy. He said he would focus all of his attention on Osama and then he'd get out of office if he were President.
Howard said Ronald Regan got the Iranians under control and we need another asshole in there to make Pakistan deliver that guy. Howard said he'd be bombing them if they didn't deliver the guy. Robin asked if he's thought of the consequences of doing that. Howard said the best thing about being a maniac is that you don't think about the consequences.
Robin read some details about Auschwitz and said that they don't know exact numbers of how many were killed. They say it ranges from half a million up to 4 million. Howard said he's heard stories about Mel Gibson and some of the stuff he's said about that. He said he doesn't want to hear his crap and maybe they should march his ugly ass into a concentration camp. That led to Howard playing some audio of Mel Gibson talking about getting back into acting and the interviewer brought up the remarks that were attributed to him. Mel said that he may not have even said those things. The guy doing the interview was Sam Rubin and he read about what he had said about the interview. Jason came in and said that Mel apologized for those remarks years ago so he admitted that he did say them. Howard said some people aren't going to forget what he said. He said there's too much sensitivity there. Howard said that Mel is a Jewish name anyway so he's wondering about that now.
Robin had some audio of Mayor Bloomberg saying that he has no plans of running for President at any point.
Robin read a story about a guy who was attacked by some cops in New York City and he was in court testifying about what happened. She had some audio from some of the cops who are on trial.
Vinnie Favale called in and said that this new Apple tablet is going to be revolutionary. He said that you'll be able to get magazines and stuff on the device and you'll be able to carry it around. Howard said he heard it'll also function as a magic carpet so Vinnie won't have to take the bus. Vinnie said it's going to be huge and he thinks that they're going to announce it today and it won't be out until March 1st. He said it's a big day today. Vinnie said the rumor is that it'll be on Verizon too. Howard said that's good because he hates AT&T service.
Robin had some news about Serena Williams and Venus Williams latest tennis matches. She had some audio of them talking about what happened.
Robin read a story about the National Enquirer trying to get a Pulitzer prize. They're saying that they may not get it even though they think they deserve it for their reporting on John Edwards. People are saying that they're not really journalists, they're just entertainment writers. Howard said good journalism is good journalism no matter where it's written.
Robin read about the Octomom's 8 kids celebrating their birthday today. Howard ended up playing more audio of Mel Gibson talking so they goofed on him a little more.
Robin had some audio of Kristin Bell talking about a co-star in a new movie she's in. Howard was ready to cut it off after 1 second but he let it play to hear her kiss the other actor's ass.
Robin had some audio of Dwayne Johnson talking about ''Tooth Fairy.'' Howard asked if it has opened yet. Robin said it did and it made $14.5 million. Howard played that audio and ended the show a short time later, right around 11:00am.
Jon saw Jim Florentine coming in so he moved on to talk about him. They talked to him about football for a short time. Jim said that he's just glad that Favre is out of the playoffs. Jim went off on him for a short time and said that Favre will be back next year too. He said he's going to keep coming back like he's done for the past 9 years. Jim said the guy is a fuckin' baby. Gary said he doesn't hate him as much as Jim does but he does kind of agree with him on that baby thing.
Jon moved on to talk about Robin and said that Robin was all dolled up this morning according to Howard. Jon asked Jim if he felt she was dressed up. Jim said he noticed some cleavage this morning. He said he doesn't know how she dresses ever day though.
Gary said Robin may not even look at the schedule. He said you never know though. Gary said he didn't go to Robin and tell her he was coming in. He said she may not have known he was going to be there.
Jon said that Robin seemed surprised when Jim said she has a thing for Howard. Jim said that she definitely didn't yell out Howard during sex but she has an admiration for him. Gary said he agrees with that and he has seen that. Gary said she'll talk about Howard in the way you talk about a dead relative. She holds him in a higher regard than most do.
Jim said that Howard bought Robin a car and he took her to Applebees. Jim said they never actually went to Applebees but he never did buy her a car.
Jon asked Jim about what Howard was saying about him being quiet around him. Jim said that everyone flocks to Howard so he's not going to stop that. Gary said he was out with Jim and Robin one night and he noticed he was quiet. Jim said that he may get intimidated by Howard. He said that he doesn't have to be that annoying guy that he is on the air. He said he's not going to beg him to pay attention to him.
Benjy said that he heard that Jim and Robin never had intercourse. Jim said he never said that. He said that they definitely did. Benjy asked how the break up happened and when it happened. Jim said that they grew apart eventually.
Jim said that he's the one who broke up with Robin. He said that Robin said that on the air. Jim said they were having some issues and they figured they weren't going to be able to work them out so they broke up.
Jon asked Jim about the awkwardness they have in the studio when he's there now. Gary said that Jim is more willing to crack jokes now that some time has passed. He said that he's not going to sit there with Robin and tell her stories about banging chicks with Saran Wrap. He said that story was funny so he had no problem with Sal and Richard telling those stories.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Robin is a little infantile lately. He said she seems to bring stuff up with Howard just to get under his skin. Gary said Mel Gibson is fun to goof on so she's not trying to get under his skin.
Another caller asked if they think that Robin is in love with Howard. Gary said he thinks that she may have been back in the 80s. He said that it's not like that now. Gary said he thinks that Robin loves Howard but not in that way. He said she's not ''in love'' with him but she may have been at one point.
Jon asked Jim what he thinks. Jim didn't know what to think about that so he asked Benjy what he thinks. Gary didn't let him answer and said that Jim and Benjy weren't around back in the 80s so they wouldn't know what it was like back then.
Gary said he doesn't think that Howard was ever in love with Robin. Benjy asked Jim if he thinks that Howard slept with Robin. Jim said no. Benjy said there are a lot of people who think they have. Gary said that they'd have to be the best actor and actress if they actually had. He said that he has been fooled before though so you never know.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Jim if he blames the news department for their break up. Jim said that it was tough but it didn't bother him as much as it bothered Robin. Jim said that the one thing that they reported about was the ''Quivertine'' thing that an intern made up at his agent's office. Jim said that they brought that up on the air and Robin freaked out about that. Jim said that Robin didn't get mad until she spoke to him about it off the air.
Jon asked Jim if he noticed Robin's character on and off the air. Jim said that she's a sweetheart off the air and she was never thinking she was better than him or anything like that. Jim said that everything was great with them while they were off the air.
Gary asked if they got to the point in the relationship when they would start doing that stuff. Jim said that they dated 9 months so he's not sure. He said that they only saw each other a couple of tines a week.
Benjy asked what the issues were that they had. Jim said they just grew apart and there wasn't anything major. Jim said that their schedules were tough too so that was one of the things. He said that he had to work on the weekends and Robin was working during the week.
Jon asked Jim if he was acting differently with her than he would have normally. Jim said that he had calmed down by that point and he wasn't shitting in toilet tanks and stuff like that. He said that he was crazy in the past but now he's not. Robin knew that when they were dating.
Gary said that the thing that happened with Jim's girlfriend is what changed him. Jim said that he was just an asshole before that. Jim said that whole thing really changed him.
Jon said that it was nice hearing them talking about how they had helped each other out when they were dating. Jim said that was true and they were both coming out of relationships that they needed help with.
A caller said that Jim is a cool guy but Sal is a douche bag. He said that Sal never came out and met the fans like Jim did at the comedy show. Jim said that Sal didn't have anything to sell.
Jim said that some of the fans were dicks when he was dating Robin. Jim said they'd ask to smell his finger. Jim said he would stick his finger in there face and tell them that it just came out of his ass. He said people would freak out when he'd do that.
Jim said Robin would come to some of his shows. He said that he had to make sure that Robin had a place to sit and not on boxes in the manager's office.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if he was wearing the t-shirts he had made for him. Jim didn't know. They ended up hanging up on the guy because it was becoming a one on one conversation.
Jon brought up ''That Metal Show'' and how successful that has been. Jim said that they're pretty much talking about making it a weekly show now. He said that they're kind of stuck on that channel though because no one else s going to take it. Jim said that they can't even put it on VH1 because they'd freak out the audience on there.
Jon said he loves the show and they have fun talking about metal. Jim said that you don't think that metal heads are sensitive but the fans freak out and think that they're too harsh on each other. Jim said that's what you do with your friends.
Jim said they had Winger on the show yesterday and they were talking about the Beavis and Butt-Head thing. Jim said that Winger blew off Mike Judge one time and that's why he did the Winger thing in Beavis and Butt-Head. Gary said he heard that Mike did it one week and he heard that Chip Winger complained so he made it a regular thing.
Jon asked how Richard Christy was as a guest. Jim said he was great and they told some fun stories in his interview. Jon said that they're really not sucking up to Richard, he's a great drummer. Jim said that he's an idol in the industry. He said that he has a huge following. Gary said Mike Piazza was up there one day and was thrilled that Richard from Iced Earth was up there.
Jon said that Richard was paid to do phony phone calls at a party. Jim said that they do that at some comedy clubs and it just doesn't work. He said that it's not something you can do live. He said they do that at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey.
Richard came in and talked about doing the show with Jim. He said he's seen every episode of it and its a passion of his. He said that Jim is an even bigger metal head than he is. Jim said that he's made a living out of the stuff he loved as a child. He made prank calls and he loved listening to metal.
Jim said that he has only been a landscaper in his life other than doing the comedy thing. He said he's not qualified to do anything else.
Gary said that he used to do appearances and he would get calls to show up to parties. He said that he drew the line at no because he had no idea what he'd be walking into. Gary said he was afraid he'd get beat up or something. Richard wasn't scared. He said the guy sounded really cool and he thinks he's a good judge of character.
Gary said the late, great Kenneth Keith Kallenbach did an appearance one time and he got drunk and passed out. The guys who hired him started doing shit to him like lighting bottle rockets out of his hair and stuff. That's the kind of thing he was trying to avoid.
Richard told a story about going out to meet some guy whose wife had hired him to drum with her husband. He said that he was going to stay at their house but some people told him he should stay in a hotel. He said that the guys were cool though. He said the guys on Saturday night were cool too. Gary said that people can be cool but he should still be careful.
Jim said that he was asked to dress up as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle for $150 one time. He said he asked which one he had to play and told the guy that he wasn't going to do it. He said he got a national commercial a couple of weeks later and made $20,000 on that so he's glad he didn't do the turtle thing.
Jon said that someone is saying that Benjy is the one whose doody was on the floor of the bathroom. Benjy said that's ridiculous because he wasn't even there. Benjy said that they don't even know it was shit. It could have been dirt. Gary said that it was bigger than dirt from what he heard. Gary said he thought it was a log but it turns out it was a pebble. Jim said it could have been like a remnant that fell out when the person got up.
Joe Jordan came in and said that the shit was the size of a dime or so. He said it looked like shit and it was hardened because there was a footprint on it. He said he couldn't smell it though.
Jon asked Joe about accusing Gary of rummaging through he garbage. Joe said he saw what he saw and Gary was going through the boxes that were next to the garbage can. He said Gary looked up at him and walked away. Richard said it sounds like a rat that got scared off.
Gary said that he doesn't hold Joe responsible for that at all. He said that Scott DePace is the one who lit the fire with the whole thing. Gary said he saw the stack of pizza boxes and he didn't know they were on the garbage. He said he did look in them but he didn't go through the garbage.
Scott DePace came in to talk about that. Scott said that Gary was rummaging through the garbage. He said that he heard the story and he told Joe to go in and tell the story. He said it was funny. Joe said that he said to some people that it was weird seeing him in there. Scott was laughing so Jon asked if he's liking this because of the arguments they've had. Scott said it's just a funny visual.
Gary said that he only opened the top box and he didn't go through more than one. Joe told Scott it was more than one but Gary said it was just the one.
The guys talked about Tim's defense on the shit thing and how he just said that they were all crazy and walked out. That wasn't much of a defense. They also talked about how Robin has kind of said that Tim is on his own now that he's lost his weight.
Scott asked about how the shit ended up on the floor because that's disgusting. Gary said that it could have been a dingleberry. They had to go to break after that. Jim had to get running so they gave him his plugs and let him go.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary about the comments he made about Mel Gibson. He said that Mel made some comments about the Jews in a drunken stupor and they're making him out to be a horrible person. Gary said that if you say that stuff and he wouldn't have apologized if they weren't anti-Semitic.
The caller said that Howard has said some things about the Phillipino people in his book. Gary said that the Phillipinos don't run the media. The caller said that they're just mud people to them. Gary said no one ever said that. The caller said Howard did say some thinks that were very harsh about them. He said that he gets a pass for some reason.
Jon moved on to talk about High Pitch Eric. Jon asked Gary about the way Eric brushed him off when he came into the studio. Gary said he could have been in there bringing up a ton of stuff about Eric and the way he steals from people. He said he thinks that Eric knows exactly what he's doing when he rips people off. He said that the whole thing about Eric saying that his sister put something in front of his face and told him to sign it was weird. He said that people are responsible for the tings they sign.
Benjy said that it may not be his fault if they didn't tell him what he was signing. Gary said he was surprised about Eric's comment about not wanting got change his voice. They also talked about his hair and how it looked dyed. Richard said he smelled okay today too so he must be cleaning up.
Shuli said that Eric is smart enough to scam people but not smart enough to fix the problem. He said that someone has to teach him how to fix it all.
Jon asked about Angel and Gary said that he thinks that she became a lot less sympathetic than she was before when they talked about her still calling Eric. Shuli said that there was some wild stuff going on yet she went right back to Eric just weeks after they were claiming that there were death threats and stuff.
Gary said he still thinks that Eric knows exactly why he's out of his mother's will. He said there is something there. They had to end the show after that.
Howard started the show talking about how interesting it is getting the show started. He said he doesn't feel like talking first thing in the morning. He said he comes out of the box with all of that energy. He said he was talking to Gary about Conan O'Brien because they reported that he had sold 2 pilots to NBC. Howard said that's a move that networks do and they just bury the pilots. He said they sometimes build into the deal that the network will look at the pilots but that doesn't mean that they're going to get them made. Howard said he told Gary that they're telling Conan that they're going to work with him but they'll never produce the shows.
Howard said that they'll say the pilots will be looked at but they won't make them. Howard said it's a way to keep Conan calm for now.
Howard said he was watching American Idol last night. He said he tuned in and saw some of the President's speech. He said Sal was saying that they could have kept the speech down to 7 minutes if they didn't have all of the applause. Howard said he's right about that. Howard said you get really upset watching something like that when a bunch of republicans are siting there not applauding with the others. He said that they're hired to work together but they sit there like boobs not playing along with everyone else.
Howard said Sal told him that if someone does something you applauded them. Obama was just coming up with ideas and they were applauding him.
Gary came in and said that Nancy Pilosi and Joe Biden are in the shot and they can't look away at all. He said they all follow what Pilosi does and she has that weird smile on her face. Gary said that Joe Biden appears to have his teeth now too.
Howard said they had a guest judge on American Idol last night. It was Neil Patrick Harris and he was good. Howard said he sings those dumb parody songs on the Tony's and stuff. He said he argued with Simon too and did it in an intelligent way. Howard said he was making Randy and Kara look good too. Howard said that they followed Neil and it was like he took over the lead. He liked the dynamic on the show with him there.
Howard said that Katy Perry was trying to get Simon's job. He said that she's bright and has an opinion and she gave it to Kara the way that Simon would. Robin wondered what Ellen is going to do to the mix. Howard said ''nothing.''
Howard said Simon is the show and he's going to be difficult to replace. He said the guy is the whole show. Howard said if they offered him the job he wouldn't take it even though he's not sure where he's going to be in a year. He said he wouldn't have to work all that hard doing the show. He said he'd even fly around the country to do that show. Robin didn't believe he would put up with that. Howard said he would for that show because it's so easy compared to what they do there.
Howard said they've had some other guest judges on the show and they just weren't that good. He said that Neil Patrick Harris should b in charge of something like GLAAD because the guy has his head on straight and he's good. He's a good role model in his opinion.
Robin said that being an example for your group is something you should never try to take on. She said that no one is like Neil. Howard said he thinks it would be interesting having a gay man on the panel of judges. He said that 90 percent of the guys who audition seem to be gay. He said 65 percent or so seem to be black. Howard said Neil had a way of working with them.
Howard and Robin talked about the nun outfits and how they're so not hot. Howard said there are some that want to be hot but it's tough with those outfits. Howard said they should probably wear Birkas. Howard said they might as well cover the face too. He said if you don't see the face you can't get turned on.
Howard said the people at the catholic channel really dig him for some reason. Howard said he goes over there and he talks to some of the people and jokes about doing a nun beauty pageant. He said they don't like that idea though.
Howard said he liked Mother Angelica the best of the nuns. He said he would have charmed her like he charmed the Rosie show the other day. He said he figured some of the women in there were going to be scared of him. He talked about how people are afraid of him now but they weren't when he was in high school. He said he's like Carrie.
Howard said that the weird lady woman who was in Poltergeist died. He said her name was Zelda Rubenstein. He was going to play some clips of her but he wanted to play a prank call Captain Janks made to Mother Angelica first.
Howard played the call that Janks made to Mother Angelica asking her if she would spread for Baba Booey. Mother Angelica went off on Janks saying that there are many sick people out there and they don't know how sick they are.
Howard said Janks was great in those phony phone calls. Robin pointed out that Mother Angelica said something horrible was going to happen to that guy and it did.
Howard played some audio from Poltergeist where that Zelda Rubenstein was doing her thing telling people to go into the light. He said the movie was absurd if you think about it. He said the one person who knows how to negotiate the other world has to look like a gnome. He said that the lady came in and everyone was paying attention to her. Robin said she had a referral though. She didn't just walk in off the street.
Howard played another clip of Zelda ''acting'' in that movie. She was talking to the parents about their daughter being taken from them. Howard said it was kind of cool having that little midget talking about poltergeists.
Howard said you have to hang with the audio for a few minutes. He said it gets good. He played some of it and Carrie was talking about a friend of her's that died. His name was Greg and he was a gay, republican, drug addict. Carrie tells the story about how he had spent the night with her one night after a party. She was giving way too many details about the story. Carrie said she woke up and this Greg wasn't waking up. They had a reenactment in the show. Howard said they couldn't have dragged it out anymore than they did. Howard wondered what happened to her voice. She sounds like a man now. Robin said that used to be Princess Leia. Now she sounds like a man.
Howard did an impression of Carrie telling her story and giving way too many details. He got back to the clip and Carrie was talking about Greg dying in her bed that night. Howard said this is just getting started. Now she gets to the ghost part.
In the next clip Carrie talked about this strong sense of a presence in her house. She said it was like heavier in there. She said there was something in the house and when she would come home she would say ''Hi Greg, I'm back!'' She said the air was almost liquid in the house and it was like she was walking through an aura. She said she would hear noises in the house and they were very vivid. She said she was dating someone for a minute...
Howard cut it off and said that he can imagine the guy showing up to meet that hot Princess Leia and when she opens the door he runs off and peels out in his car to get away. Howard said this woman has had breakdowns and she sees ghosts.
Howard played more audio of Carrie talking about the noises she heard and how the date thought it was absurd. Carrie said that there was something making noise and this Greg was following her. She said that he got freaked out when it happened to him. Howard said he wants to find the guy and ask if he was freaked out by the noises or by her telling him about the noises.
In another clip Carrie talked about how she was in the room that Greg died in and it was late at night. She said she had a gag toy that would say awful things to you. She said it would say ''eat shit'' and weird things like that when you push a button. Howard said it sounds like one of those Jackie toys.
Howard played more of the clip where Carrie talks about the noises she heard and how the toy would play itself like someone was pushing the button. Carrie said she was quite frightened by this and she knew it was Greg pushing the button. She said that the toy would say ''are you talking to me'' and she knew that was Greg asking her a question.
Howard said he thinks that was just Jackie talking to her. He said he could feel Jackie's presence in the studio. Fred played some Jackie laughs and noises as they were goofing on her about this whole thing.
Howard said it would have been great if Carrie said Greg told her a racist joke. That led to Fred playing a couple of Jackie jokes.
Howard played more of Carrie who was saying she was put in touch with a woman who she talked to about the ghost. She said she was crying talking to her. Howard said this woman is a mess. He said he wants to know more about the gay guy who died. He wondered why he died. Robin said that it must have been from the partying. She thinks that he may have overdosed.
Howard played more of the audio where Carrie talked about how she thinks that the guy was trying to get into her body to take it over. Howard said that the guy probably didn't want to be Carrie Fisher. Howard said it would have been great if he had taken her over and she went completely mental saying she was Greg.
Carrie said that Greg did settle there in her house for a while. She said she didn't think it was a bad thing. She started to laugh when she was talking about it. Howard said she must have realized how retarded it sounded.
Carrie talked about how she decided to just accept things and move on. Howard said she's the perfect friend for him. Howard said most people would kick the ghost out.
Howard and Robin were both goofing on her about how nuts she sounded. Howard wondered what's going on there. He said Joan Rivers had a ghost story too. He said he wasn't going to play too much of that.
JD said that the Joan Rivers story is even better than the Carrie Fisher story. Howard said Joan just wants to be on TV. He said he didn't want to play the whole thing. JD said he thinks it's better but he's just saying... Howard said he knows he's just saying. Fred did an impression of JD talking about that.
Howard asked JD what the message was that he left. JD said it was probably bad. He didn't say what he said to her. Howard imagined what it may have sounded like.
Howard asked what the message was. JD said it was bad and he didn't want to say what it was. He said he had something thought out but he screwed up and got thrown off when someone texted him in the middle of it. JD said he just asked her if she wanted to hang out or whatever to just let him know. Howard asked if he tried to erase and re-record it. JD said he doesn't know how to do that.
Howard told Gary to call Ashley and tell her to save the messages. JD told him not to do that. Howard said he doesn't know. He just doesn't want JD to get hurt. JD said he's not going to get hurt. He doesn't have high expectations so he won't get hurt. Howard said he's desperate for JD to get a girlfriend already. He said he's all over Facebook and texting all the time. JD said he's barely able to take care of himself, never mind a girlfriend.
Howard told JD he should be going after Carrie Fisher. He said that's the kind of girl who is desperate enough for him to date.
Fred played some tazer sounds while Howard was talking about the electro shock stuff. Howard asked how old Carrie is. They found out she's only 53. Howard said he was looking at some tape of himself on Rosie's show and he looked awful. He said he got some video clips and he saw how bad he looked. He said that they had the microphone blocking his face for most of it. He said he could see the tip of his recreated nose but then he turned to laugh and he looked like he was slapped a yarmulke 50 times in the face.
Howard said he can look really bad at some angles. He said that Beth came home and she was very loving to him though. He said that they made love last night when she got home. Howard said he hadn't been beating off so his penis didn't hurt from rubbing it too much.
Howard said he was reading a 5 page article about how they're finding guys who are on the phone all day long are getting tumors on the sides of their heads. He said that in France and other countries they're getting rid of Wi-Fi. He said it's the same as being next door to a cell tower. Howard said when you get the phones in your house that are cord less, they transmits the same kind of shit. He said that they say to use hard wired phones.
Howard said the kick is that he fixed up his house and he has all Wi-Fi in there. He said that's like living in a net that gives you cancer. Robin said she has a router too. Howard said he's not going to give that up, he loves it.
Howard said this article was interesting. He said that Steve Jobs looks like he's about to die and he's around computers all day long so it must be computer related. Howard said to's unbelievable.
Robin said that she was falling asleep watching the demonstration of that tablet. Howard said he thought it was kind of cool but then he started reading more about it and it's not as cool as it appears. The thing can't run more than one app at a time. He said they're stuck with AT&T too. He said that's a bunch of shit.
Howard said he just heard that Beth was asked to do that Celebrity Ghost Stories show. Howard said he thinks that she was confusing that with another show but maybe he's wrong about that.
Howard said he loves that Beth is going to fast with him. He said he loves that she thinks she's fat when she's not. He said she's going to work out even harder when she's fasting. Robin said she's going to fall over. Howard said he likes that she doesn't have an ounce of fat on her but she thinks she's fat.
Howard played some of the audio of Joan talking about the ghost story. She was talking about how cold the apartment was in the middle of august. Robin said she must not have heard of air conditioning. Joan says that her dog didn't want to go into the apartment. She said that she got into the elevator and told the ''elevator man'' about it and he told her that maybe Mrs. Spencer was back. That was the woman who lived there before and died. That was J.P. Morgan's niece from what Joan had heard.
Howard cut the clip off and goofed on Joan for a short time. He said that Joan hired a voodoo priestess to get rid of the ghost. Howard didn't want to play the audio of that. He said they just have to watch the show to see it all. He went to break after that.
Howard was annoyed with the song that Fred was playing. He said he was listening to Joan Rivers ghost story during the break and he may have to play more of it.
Howard played some of the audio of Joan talking about the voodoo priestess that she got to get rid of her ghost. Joan talked about the ceremony she had to get the ghost out of her apartment. Howard said the story was crazy. He told Robin she had to hear this.
Howard played more of the audio of Joan talking about what she had to do and how scary it was. She said she had to put corn meal on the floor and it was very scary.
Gary told Howard that Beth was asked to do a Gilbert Gottfried show and this ghost story show. He gave Howard a note that was given to Beth where they offer her the chance to do the show. Howard read the note and said he should have made a story up for her. Robin said that's basically what they were asking her to do.
Howard and Gary talked about the people who were participating with the show. Howard said that you know you're washed up if you do that show. He said that Beth must have felt insulted being asked to do it. Gary said that when you do a show like that you have to know you have nothing going on. He said that it's something that Gary Coleman would do or Dustin Diamond would do. He wondered why anyone would do it if they have anything going on. Howard said they do it for the attention. Howard said he should have written a story for Beth. He said he could have done something funny.
Howard played more of the Joan story and they had some reenactments in the clip. They had some goofy sound effects thrown in there. Howard played a few seconds and he'd comment on what Joan was saying. He said that he didn't know Joan was up to all of this.
Howard joked that they found some turd droppings on the floor and found out it was ghost shit. He played more of Joan talking about that and he said that he really could have written some great stories for Beth to tell. He said he would have written one about Heath Ledger haunting Beth. He made up a story that would have worked just fine on the show. He said that it could have been someone good like that. Howard said he might have to go on the show himself. He made up a story about Liberace blowing him against his will one night.
Howard played the last 27 seconds of the Joan clip where she talked about going to other apartments to rid the building of ghosts. Howard said Joan is coming in on Monday. He said they should try to scare her with ghosts telling her that they have Mrs. Spencer in there. Howard told Robin she has to pretend that she's haunted by Mrs. Spencer.
Howard told Fred to be Joan Rivers. Fred did his impression of her and Robin started making noises as if she was possessed. Robin pretended that she had been taken over by Mrs. Spencer. Robin sad that she could tell Joan that she chased her out of her apartment. Howard told her to forget it and played more audio of Joan.
Howard said that everyone in the building signed up with Joan to get rid of their ghosts. Howard said Joan and her voodoo friend cleaned everyone out that day.
Howard said Joan apparently says that her place was haunted again after she got rid of the ghost. He played that clip where Joan said that things started all over again. She said that the dog was scared, she didn't have electrical things working correctly and things like that. Joan said she asked Mrs. Spencer to leave her alone because she didn't need this in her life. Joan asked her to leave her in peace. Joan said she was in the basement working one night with the handy man and she saw Mrs. Spencer down there in a picture. She said she took the picture and cleaned it up and put it in the lobby of the building.
Howard goofed on Joan some more and did an impression of her talking about the voodoo priestess. He asked the guys who was better, Joan or Carrie Fisher. Fred and Robin said they liked Joan better. Howard said they should go over and see this presences that Joan is talking about. He said the way to keep the ghosts away is to keep a camera rolling in the apartment. They all seem to avoid cameras and the chance of being caught.
Howard said that the reality of this is that Joan is home talking to the walls. He said she's talking to Mrs. Spencer who doesn't even exist.
Howard said it must be like a guy you hire to get rid of mice and pests. They eventually come back. Joan had the same thing happen to her. He said the voodoo priestess must have said ''this is the first time they've ever come back.''
Howard played more of Joan talking about how she's come to like Mrs. Spencer now. Howard and Robin were talking about how nuts she sounds. Joan said she has a sense of belonging now and she thinks that they both gave each other something they needed.
Howard said if he can come back and keep people from staying in the apartment he just remodeled, he will do that. He said he doesn't want someone living there. Howard said this is a great advertisement for Joan's apartment. He said he'd love to live with Mrs. Spencer.
Howard said he and Robin should go visit Joan sometime. It's obvious she needs some visitors. Howard said he'd like to help her get over this Mrs. Spencer thing.
Gary said he heard that there was no Mrs. Spencer and someone had gone back researching it to find out if she was a real woman. There was no Mrs. Spencer that was related to J.P. Morgan like Joan claimed. Howard said he'll have to ask Joan about that on Monday when she comes in.
Howard said if his mother was talking about this stuff he'd have her committed. Howard said he wouldn't put up with that.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa said they have a story about Jim Florentine saying that he's certain that she's dating the artist that she brought to the Christmas party. Howard said Jim is still living the whole Robin experience thinking about what she's up to.
Howard said that there is a pattern to dating Robin and Jim might be right. Howard said she must like denying that she's seeing someone. Robin said she's telling the truth. Howard said he's sick of trying to figure out what's going on over there. Lisa said Jim said that the artist might be more cultured than he is and he might be better for her than he was.
Lisa said that Ronnie's new show aired on Monday night and Jason is saying that it shouldn't go any further than one episode. Jason was actually on the show and he's saying that. Howard said he heard it was a disaster. He knows that Ronnie wants to be a radio host.
Howard asked if they have the audio up. Gary told Howard where they were and told him the live commercial that Ronnie did was a good clip to play. Howard said they actually had a sponsor which was pretty amazing.
Howard played the audio of Ronnie reading the live commercial for a clothing store. Ronnie said that he's not the host of the show. He said that Richie Wilson is the host. Howard said they can't keep doing this kind of thing there.
Ronnie said that Jason was laughing his ass off at him and he was having trouble focusing. Howard said he has to ignore that kind of stuff. Jason came in to explain why he was laughing but Ronnie said Jason said he liked the show. Ronnie asked what is with people around there. Jason said he just told the news they need more structure.
Howard played more of the audio of Ronnie trying to read the commercial. He wasn't very clear and it wasn't a great read.
Howard asked if there were any other clips he should listen to. Ronnie said there was one where Eddie the Produce guy called in and asked for advice on having anal with his girlfriend. Howard had that clip so he played that one. In the clip Eddie asked the Hemi Girl about anal and she said she doesn't do it. Ronnie took it over and said that you lay her on her stomach and start massaging her. He said that he should lay his brown penis right in her area and get her all relaxed as possible. Ronnie said that he has to take it really easy.
Howard said that Lisa looked like she was going to throw up from this. Ronnie said he thinks she wants to try it.
Ronnie talked about lubing up the chick's ass and how he has to slip it in there. Ronnie told him not to use fingers, just massage around the area. He said that he just works it from there. Howard said it sounded like a good show to him. He said they'll have to see what happens with that.
Lisa said that this guy Joseph has started a new Facebook page where he's giving fans an alternative to SternFanNetwork.com. They have close to 1000 members and he's tired of what's on SFN since it seems to be pure hate lately. The group is called Stern Facebook Superfans. Howard went to break after that.
Howard read a story about a college ball player who was going to go into the major leagues abut he decided to go join the priesthood. Howard said that's a weirdo right there. Howard said that's just strange.
Howard said Oprah is having Jay Leno on her show today. He said he's going to try to show he's a nice guy again. Howard said he heard about some of the stuff Jay talked about with her.
Howard had some audio clip teasers from Oprah's show where she's sucking his balls and trying to help him rehabilitate his image. Howard played the clip and Oprah was asking Jay if he had spoken to Conan since all of this went down. Jay said he hadn't and it didn't seem appropriate to him. Jay said he wanted to let things cool down and maybe he'll talk to him later.
Howard said Jay is a bad interview. He said there is no real guy in there. He said Jay claims he wasn't hurt by the jokes that Conan was doing about him but that's bull shit. He said he's on Oprah because of those jokes. Jay said that's what they do and they're just jokes. Howard said they're his peers goofing on him and it does hurt. Howard said the guy is confused. He said that should be some interview.
Howard said he was hoping the guy was going to yell out curse words on the show but he was just clearing his throat. Howard said that he was hoping he'd yell out ''cunt'' when he saw Kara or ''big tits'' when he saw Katy Perry. Howard said the guy just cleared his throat though.
Howard said that if he ever got on that show he would goof on Ryan Seacrest so much that he'd end up quitting. Howard said he hates the way the guy does his announcing and he wonders if he thinks that he's Dick Clark Jr. or something.
Howard played some audio from American Idol where the Tourette's guy was on. He said that guy doesn't have Tourette's, he just has a throat clearing problem. Howard asked what kind of Tourette's that is. He said he should have been yelling out ''You fucking cunt!'' and stuff. Howard said this guy is like Gary clearing his throat in the morning. He said the guy is trying to make it seem like it's some kind of disability but all he's doing is clearing his throat.
Howard said Medicated Pete has Tourette's but he's so medicated no one knows what's up with him. He showed up this morning with his shirt soaked. Pete came in and said that he was splashing around in the bathroom like it was his own bathroom. He said he turned his shirt inside out to get the dry side out.
Howard said Pete has a weird thing where he has to go down to Cafe Metro to get food for them up there. He said it's like he has to go down there.
Ronnie came in and said that Pete is always doing shtick and it's obvious he's just doing this stuff for attention. Howard said he's not ding it as a gimmick. He said that the guy is completely fucked up. Ronnie said everyone is sick of him there. Howard said he thinks the guy is just fucked up.
Ronnie said there is a lot of stuff that Pete does that drives them nuts. Howard told Ronnie to go back and work on his show.
Howard said Richard and Sal were goofing on Pete in their office. He said that he doesn't do much around there so they had him answering the phones. He said Richard and Sal had him on the phone and they kept him on for 23 minutes just busting his balls. He said the 23 minutes was too long but he may have to play it at 7 on a Monday night sometime. Howard said they tell Pete to just hang up if people don't have anything to say but Pete can't hang up.
Howard said they cut the call down to like 2 minutes. He asked where the call was so he could play it. Howard said it was wroth waiting for. He asked Pete why he can't hang up on anyone. Pete said he wants to see if someone is legit. Pete said that no other calls were coming in so he just stayed on the line.
Howard played the clip where Richard called in and asked how everything was going. He asked Pete what he had been up to and what he does during the week. Richard kept asking him what he was doing on specific days and Pete would just say he likes to chill. Howard said this went on for 23 minutes.
Howard said American Idol has this Tourette's guy now and it doesn't seem like regular Tourette's. He said that Pete was clearing his throat too. Pete said he does that too.
Howard started to do the ''yeah'' repeating game with Pete. Pete had to repeat after him when he'd say ''yeah.'' Howard said he had a zit on his face too. He thought it was a piece of food but the Howard TV guys zoomed in and it was just a zit.
Howard asked Pete what he was up to back there today. Pete said he's answering phones. Robin said she saw him coming into the building the other day and just saying hi to him becomes a whole thing. She said that you can't just say hi and move on.
Another caller said he was reading about Conan signing with NBC to do a pilot. Howard told the guy he already talked about that earlier in the morning. He explained it again to this guy and said that it was a way to shut Conan up when they gave him the boot. Howard said they tell Conan that they want to work with him to keep him happy on his way out.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked how he thinks his show translates to first time listeners. Howard said he thinks that people get it. He said there might be some references that they don't get but they catch on quickly.
Another caller said that Howard is the king of all media because he had some internet problems and Howard's site was one of only a few that he was able to get to. The guy also asked if they had a clip of them making fun of Gary because he loves that. Howard didn't know what the guy was talking about so he let him go.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was at Jimmy Kimmel's show tonight and Mel Gibson was on. He said he was back stage and Mel went on and no one clapped and people were ignoring him and talking through his appearance. He said Jimmy soft balled the whole interview too. Howard thanked him for that and didn't seem to get what he was saying. Howard said Jimmy isn't a controversial guy and he has to be that way to get guests. Howard said he can't do that on his own show. He said he has a whole other thing. Howard said Mel is welcome to come on his show but after he vomits he's got some questions for the guy.
Howard said they must think that they can stick this Nick Cannon on a show and he'll get ratings. Howard said radio is a tough gig and it's a naive notion that they can take someone and make them a radio star like that.
Howard said radio guys are the only ones who don't get any respect from the executives. He said that they think they can stick anyone in there to do the job and that's just not the case. Howard said if Nick Cannon was fresh and original then he wouldn't need a talent coach. Howard said it's odd that the guy who hosts ''America's Got Talent'' needs a talent coach.
Howard read about what they're doing with this guy's show and some of the other stations around the country. Howard said they have to teach people have to have a personality. Robin said that they must have to do that trying to teach them to be like Howard.
Howard came back and said he was on the web site for the morning show coach. He said they give a tip for free. He read about what they think drives ratings. Howard said they say that with Valentine's day they can do ''ghosts of Valentine's day past'' to get guys to call in and apologize to women in their past. Howard said that's a sure ratings grabber there. He said that they say doing anything with cute sounding kids is another tip. They suggest going out and asking kids what they think about what's going on that day.
Howard tried to use his megaphone to do a little kid impression but it wasn't working so he had to bang on it to get it to work. Howard said he's going to start a consulting business. He said he's going to suggest getting good looking kids and put them in bikinis. He said they could get them to answer the phones for the radio stations too. Howard did the impression of the kid thing and had some WNBC jingles to go along with it. Howard was goofing on their lame ideas for a minute before moving on to Robert Schimmel.
Howard had Robert Schimmel come in to talk about the mess that is his life. Howard said he's been going through hell lately. Robin said she sees it as a new stand-up act. Howard said he thinks Bob looks good but everyone was saying he lost too much weight.
Bob came in wearing an overcoat so Robin asked if he was cold. Bob said he was cold. Howard said that's all Bob has left. Bob said that he saves 50 bucks not having to check his luggage now. Howard told him to spit out his gum too. He said he was yelling at him like he was in school. Bob said that everyone else is yelling at him so why not.
Howard said he has to blame Bob in a way. He said he got cancer and seduced his daughter's friend and ended up leaving his wife for her. Howard said the wife caught him in bed with her. Bob said she was just siting on the bed. He said the marriage was already in trouble by then. Howard said dating his daughters friend isn't a good idea.
Bob said that this is basically Howard's ''I told you so.'' Howard said it is. Bob said a lot of people told him this was a bad idea. Robin said he had a kid with this woman too. Bob said he didn't know he could have kids anymore because he was told that the Chemo killed that.
Howard said that Bob's wife was really hot. He asked him what went wrong. He said that Bob married his daughter's best friend and something went on. Bob said that his daughter and his wife were getting along great. Bob said he had to apologize to his first wife. He said he had problems in that marriage but now he looks back and it looks like a marriage made in heaven compared to this marriage. Bob said that he owes her an apology for that. He said he never went on the road wondering what Vicky was doing at home. He knew she was taking care of the kids. He said that wheat he did to her is what happened to him. Bob said it came right around and bit him in the ass. Bob said that he's really sorry and he knows that she's listening to the show.
Bob said he just turned 60 2 weeks ago and he's done with marriage. He said there won't be another wife. Howard said he sees him getting married again. Bob said he'd put money on that now.
Bob said he has a 6 year old, a 4 year old, an 11 year old and a 32 year old. Bob said he also has a granddaughter.
Howard asked Bob what happened with Melissa, his latest wife. Bob said he felt like they were meant to meet each other and they were soul mates. He said he thinks that she cared about him in a way but not the way he cared about her. Bob said that she may have looked at him as a cell mate, not a soul mate. Howard asked why she married him then. Bob said that she was working in a clothing store and she may have seen his name in bright lights and that turned her on to him. Bob said he was a celebrity to her. He said he was the Jim Carrey of Phoenix at the time. He said that when he brought her to L.A. She found out there were younger guys and he was like her ticket out of Phoenix.
Bob said that if he had been more successful with a TV show then maybe she would have loved him a little bit more, a little bit longer.
Howard asked bob if he's bankrupt. Bob said that it's not official but the IRS has taken all of the money out of his bank account. He said that he just found out that she had been taking some money and put it somewhere else. He said that she wasn't even supposed to have other accounts. He said that it's community property in California.
Howard said the wife was hot. Bob said he would have taken a bullet for her. He said that she fell for the neighbor. He said that he called her one night when he was on the road and she said she was sleeping. He got a call from his 18 year old daughter and she told him that Melissa was in the room with the neighbor with the door closed.
Bob said that he ended up being arrested. He said he didn't hit anyone but he got hit. He said that Melissa hit him. He said that the neighbor thing went on for 7 or 8 months. He said his daughter told him that every time she went over there the guy was there. Bob said his manager told him the guy was there. Everyone was telling him that he was over all the time. He figured she was just friends with him. bob said he didn't think she could do that to him so he thought they were just friends.
Bob showed Howard some pictures of what he looked like after she allegedly beat him up. He showed some marks on him and defied Howard to get any pictures of her with marks on her.
Bob said that his wife had set up her phone to show that she was getting calls from her mother and friends and not from this guy. He looked into the phone bill and found out that they were texting each other 50 times a day. Bob said that the guy was hiding it all from his wife as well. He said that his wife told him that they were just friends and nothing happened. He said that she explained the texts and stuff and said that she would be upset too. Bob said that there are other things that happened that he can't talk about but it would convince everyone.
Bob said that he woke up at 2 in the morning one time and she went downstairs and found her talking to the guy on the couch. Bob said they said they were just talking about him. He said he asked her what was going on and she said that they were just talking. This was at like 2 or 3 in the morning. Howard said that's absurd. He said he had to be suspicious.
Bob said he went back to bed and an hour later the guy came up and nudged him asking him if everything was cool. Bob said that this guy ruined his whole fucking life. He said that the guys' wife ended up calling the house and asked if he was over there. bob said he got the call and they were still on the couch talking so he told the neighbor that his wife just called and said she was on her way over there. then there was banging on the door. He said that Melissa started to run upstairs. He asked what she was doing and Melissa said she didn't want the wife seeing her.
Bob said that the fucking neighbor pretended to be sleeping on the couch there. He said he woke up pretending he didn't know where he was. Bob said he told the wife that he didn't want him there anymore.
Howard said that Bob had cancer and he needs to have some peace and quiet in his life. He said that he must secretly like this on some level. Bob said Howard is wrong about this. He said he doesn't like it at all. Howard said he's always had commotion in his life. bob said he knows that but he doesn't like it.
Bob said that he thinks that his wife wanted out because if she didn't want to get caught, she wouldn't have been texting this guy. He said he was bound to find out. Bob said he would see his wife go out for milk at 9 at night and she wouldn't return until midnight. He said the neighbor's car would come back around the same time.
Bob told Howard that Melissa took an art class and she had to find a model. That model turned out to be the neighbor. Bob said that he wanted to out the guy on Howard's show but he knows he can't do it. Bob said that his wife had some urinary tract infections and she claimed it was from wiping the wrong way. He wondered if it was from wiping from next door to his house.
Bob told Howard about another time his wife was in Vegas and asked him to get her in to the Luxor with a VIP pass to get her and another boyfriend into the place. Bob said she had to be kidding with that. Bob said that she told him that they were supposed to be working on an amicable relationship. Bob said that she called him and asked where he would take her if they were going to go some place nice. He said he would take her to the desert like in the movie Casino where Joe Pesci took Al Pacino. He said his wife said ''See, that's why we can't be friends.''
Bob said his attorney wants him to take the high road in all of this. He said that she's trying to mediate this all for them. He said that Melissa's lawyer quit because she's being totally unreasonable. He said that she's making him have supervised visits with the kids. He said that he had the kids half the time but he had to have them supervised. He said that she's got errands to run for a few hours and he ends up with the kids for days.
Bob said that the kids want to live with him and they tell him that. He said that his first wife was a great mother and he thinks that his son was better off living there. He said that he's not in love with her but he does have respect for her.
Howard asked Bob how many times he married that first wife. bob said it was 3 times. Howard asked if he'll marry Melissa again. Bob said no. Howard didn't believe it. He said he thinks he'll marry her again.
Bob told Howard that he's talking about this stuff on this show because Howard has been very supportive of him over the years. He said that he's been great to him. Howard said that he has to give Bob some plugs so he can make some money. He has to go out and work his ass off now.
Bob said that he told his wife that if she was in love with the other guy he can't work past that. He said that if it was just physical then he could work through it. He said she doesn't even want to go to a therapist. Bob said he asked her what he could do so she can like him the way she likes that guy. Bob said that she told him that the other guy was a real man and he wasn't and that's why they can't be together. Bob said that things were good for a while and he's not sure what happened.
Howard said Bob thought that Melissa was cheating with the pottery guy too. Bob said that he doesn't think that was the case now.
Bob told Howard about how he wanted to take one of his kids to a club one time and Melissa said he couldn't take one without the other. Bob said that he told her that he can't have the 4 year old there so he got her a hotel room next to his. Bob said that she was getting texts from two different guys that night. Bob said that if she wants to be with someone else that's fine. He said it can't happen in front of the kids. He said he wants her to call him to drop the kids off with him if she wants to get laid. Bob said it's just not right to do that.
Ralph called in and said that it sounds terrible but he does sound like a woman asking what he can do to be better. He said that he shouldn't even be talking to the woman now. Bob said he has to deal with her for at least 14 more years. Bob said that he can't tell her to go fuck herself every time they see each other. Ralph said he has to put his foot down with her. Howard said he did that and he got beat up. Ralph said this is why you don't get married. He said you bang them and move on.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she heard a story from a woman who claimed that she lost her virginity to Bob Schimmel. She said that the woman said that he would practice his stand-up in front of her. Bob said he didn't know he was going to do stand-up until 1979. The woman said that this was just two summers ago that she heard the story. Howard bailed out on the story.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that his wife cheated on him and he found texts that she wrote about how she felt after banging the guy. Howard said that must really hurt.
Bob said that he loves his kids and he spends more time with them than he did with the son that he lost to cancer. He said that he now has a woman who keeps the kids from him for half the year. He said that he can't do a reconciliation now. He said that he was begging for one but he had to give up. He said he wanted to do it for the kids. Bob said he didn't want the kids feeling like they were to blame but the wife won't do it.
The caller said that he went through the same kind of stuff that Bob did. He said that Bob has to say fuck her and move on. Howard said bob needs a new girlfriend. Bob said that's not what he needs at his age. He said he'd meet her at the nursing home if he did.
Bob said that he had a lot going on when he met Melissa. He had a TV show in the works and the CD was selling well and he was doing well with the stand-up. He said that all kind of went away and things fell apart.
Howard asked Bob if he takes any responsibility in this break up. Bob said that he's not sure what he could have done better to make it work. He said maybe she didn't want to be staying home and taking care of the kids while he was out on the road to do that. He said he was out on the road a lot and they weren't planning on having kids. He said that she was going to travel on the road with him until the first kid came along.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was the neighbor and Melissa was a pain in the ass. He said that bob should get rid of that damn bitch. Bob said that if it was him he'd be happy. The guy was pretending to be black. Bob said that Jews and blacks are the same, just turned inside out.
Bob said he didn't come on the show to be sad. He said his friend got him some stuff called Check Mate that shows when there is semen present. He said you put it in your woman's panties and it shows if there's any in there. Bob said that he didn't want to do that because he knew he'd get caught. Bob said that you can't say it's anything else other than what's going on. He said that he's end up getting startled and splash the stuff on her and her mouth and tits would turn blue.
Howard asked if he ever tired that stuff. He said he didn't but he did have a DNA test done on the kids. He said people would tell him that Sam didn't look like him. He said that it turned out that the kids were his. Bob said his wife asked him what Identagene was and he told her it was a clothing store.
Howard asked what he would have done if the kids weren't his. He said it was too late because he already loved the kids. He said he wouldn't have even told her he knew that they weren't his.
Bob said that the neighbor was so comfortable that he would just walk into the house and go to the fridge to get a beer. Then he'd sit on the couch and his wife would come down and sit next to that guy, not next to him. Howard said that's nuts.
A caller told Bob that Robin should take one for the team and sleep with Bob. Howard said that sounded like a good idea. Bob said that maybe they can go share a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then fuck. He said he can't front the money for the condom either because he doesn't have that money either.
Howard gave Bob some plugs for his album and DVD and stuff like that. You can find out more at RobertSchimmel.com.
Bob said that he's going to tell Howard something that only 6 people know. He said that he needs a liver transplant. He said that's why he looks so bad and that's why he wears a big coat. He said that Melissa went to the meetings with him and she knew that he needed to go to the meetings for that. Bob said that he needs the transplant because he has cirrhosis of the liver. He said he got a transfusion in the 60s and he had Hepatitis C. He said he had Chemo and it's been a mess over the years. He said he has to be reevaluated to go on the list for a new liver. He said that he should be okay for a while. He said he's not going to die today or tomorrow. Bob said that he was almost on the list but he had to be in remission for 2 years before he gets on the list. Bob said they told him he needed a liver and gave him a cell phone so they could contact him to let him know that he had to get there as soon as possible.
Bob said he was on stage one time and he got the call. He said the phone was vibrating and he figured he had to tell the audience what was going on. It turned out to be someone from AT&T telling him that they were just checking on his service.
Bob said that you can get a liver from a living donor. He said that the survival rate is much higher with that. He said that his ex-wife Vicky is a perfect donor but he won't even ask her to donate. He said that he doesn't want someone to die just so he can get a liver but if you live in Phoenix or California, check off the donor section on your driver's license. Bob said that he wouldn't take his kid's liver either. Howard said he's worried about him. Bob said that he doesn't have to worry about it. He said he knew that if he let it out then people could cancel his bookings. He said that he took a big chance doing this on the air. Bob said that someone has to take the chance.
Howard asked if anything could go any worse for him. Bob wondered what kind of joke he could end this with. Bob said that he told his father he was going to do this and his father said that people get through this kind of thing and this is what he would do.
Bob's belly was distended from the liver thing. Howard asked how long he can go with that failing liver. Bob said he's not sure. He said he can't say.
Ralph called in again and said this was horrible. He said that he's going to have to take a 10 minute break so everyone can recover. Howard said he doesn't want to hear Bob's name again after the break. He doesn't want anyone being bummed out the rest of the day.
Bob said that people wanted to hear this story from him today and he told everyone they had to sign up for Howard to hear it.
Howard said Bob is a great comedian, maybe not on the show today, but he is great. He gave him some plugs for his appearance at Comix in New York City this weekend. Then a caller told Howard that he would give Bob his liver. He was smoking a bong at the time. Bob said he wouldn't mind but the people who do the liver donations might mind. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and got Mike Walker on the phone. Mike was on the phone and Howard asked if he had ever seen that RadarOnline.com. Mike knew about it and so did Robin. Howard said he had never heard of it. He read that Simon Cowell and Ellen Degeneres aren't speaking to each other anymore on Idol. He read that Ellen didn't like that he showed up an hour late to a taping. Mike said that she wants to take over the show and she's trying to show her power there. Mike said the fans don't like the idea of her being on there. Mike said that their company owns that web site and it's been amazing.
Howard had Mike get to his game so here's how it goes. Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Medicated Pete. He said his double talk about his date has gotten them some tips from fans who saw Pete out last week. Pete looked like a little kid nuzzled in her arms according to witnesses.
Steve said they also have a story about Sal Governale not wearing a wedding ring. He claims he lost it 7 years ago. His wife stopped wearing her's 5 years ago.
Steve said that Riley Martin has started complaining about money again. He's started asking for more hours there too. Howard said they've told him that they can't do that. The calls may have violated the rules they had about that for Riley.
Steve said that they have a story about a web site that ripped off the Techno beaver name but Gary doesn't seem to care about that.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. They ended up talking about Bob Schimmel's depressing time in there and how sad it was to hear those stories. They spent a couple of minutes on that and also talking about American Idol.
Howard told Jon he's been doing a good job with his live reads on the Wrap Up Show. Robin said he has a good opening to the show too. Howard said he never hears the opening. He's busy ''working'' in his office.
Mutt from Superfan Roundtable called in and said that Schimmel is now more depressing than Yucko. Mutt said they'll be talking about High Pitch Eric on the show. Howard said he got all negative email about Eric yesterday. He thought he was the highlight of the show. Mutt said the fans are upset with Eric getting away with the crimes he's gotten away with. Mutt said he loves Eric on the show though.
Howard read through some of the email he got about Eric and everyone seemed to hate him. Howard said they do not like hearing him on the radio. Fred said he wasn't able to find anything positive in the email yesterday.
Mutt said they have a lot of other stuff planned for the show. He said he has a game to play where they pick the person who is hated the most on the show. Mutt said they'll also be talking about what they'd like Howard to do in his possible last year there. Superfan Roundtable is on at 7 tonight on Howard 101.
Gary said that he's irritated about Ralph about something else. He said he gave Howard his gift on Monday and Howard thanked him. Then Ralph came over and the next day he started to point out the flaws in it. He said he thinks Ralph had something to do with that. Howard said it really didn't. Ralph just laughed.
Ralph told Gary he thought the microphone gift was cool. He wasn't critiquing it. Howard said that he's not that weak minded that Ralph would change his mind on that.
Howard said he likes the gift but he was just asking Gary about some of the stuff on the microphone. Ralph said that he actually said it was a piece of crap and Howard said he liked it. Ralph said he was kidding about that. Gary was confused. Howard said Ralph said it looked junky.
Gary asked Ralph what he gave Howard for his birthday. He hadn't gotten him anything. He still hadn't gotten anything for Jason's wedding either. Ralph told Gary he didn't say his gift was crappy.
Howard thanked Ralph for his opinion and let him go a short time later. Gary was still irritated with him about his comments about the commercials. Howard said that people probably do pay attention to the commercials with Gary. He said that there have been guys who are horrible at that but it doesn't mean the commercials are bad.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that High Pitch Eric was hysterical yesterday. Howard said that's how he felt too. He said he didn't know Eric even had a life. He said he had a woman fighting over him.
Another caller said the show is great and he loved the Eric thing yesterday too. Howard said they did get some nice email about the show. He read some of that and someone wrote in about how good the show is.
Robin had a story about Ben Affleck being seen out drinking even though she went through rehab back in 2001. Robin said Ben was seen having some vodka wile he was out with friends.
Robin said that Michael Douglas' son could get a minimum of 10 years in prison for drug dealing.
Robin had a story about a woman who is having plastic surgery to try and look more like Jessica Alba to make her boyfriend happy.
Robin had a story about John Edwards and his wife splitting up. She read about their separation and said that they can't file for divorce for at least a year after the legal separation. Howard said that it was the National Enquirer that broke that story about Edwards cheating. He said that they can't get a Pulitzer prize and that's bull. He said that's bizarre and he thinks that journalism is journalism no matter where it's printed. Howard had to take a break a short time later.
After the break, around 10:40am, Robin got back to her news and read about the new Apple iPad. Howard said he read some things about it and it looks kind of cool but it can't multi-task. He said that it will only run one app at a time. Howard said that's not right. Robin said the one thing she heard hat was interesting was people saying ''Do I really need this?'' Howard said he likes that you can carry the thing around and it's light. Robin said it's not that light, it weighs a pound and a half. Howard said that his laptop is like 7 pounds. Robin said her's is lighter than that.
Howard said he's been reading about this Wi-Fi thing and how it's going to cause brain cancer. He said that there are already people who have tumors in their heads from cell phones. Howard said he might go back to hard wired phones. He said it makes sense to him that it's causing problems. Gary said that even if you don't have it in your house you're exposed to it when you go out. Howard said he's in his house all the time though. He said that he has a laptop that gets really hot and he doesn't like that either. He said that can sterilize you. He said he only uses a hard wire phone in his house. Howard said he may even cut back on his regular phone use.
Gary told Howard there is Wi-Fi right there where he's at. Howard said he knows that. He said he's not sure he needs to carry an iPad around to read his magazines and newspapers. Gary said that the tablet is going to be handy. Howard said he knows that, he'd just rather read a newspaper. He said he didn't say he's not going to get an iPad but he'd like to cut back on his use of all of this stuff. Howard said he would like to cut back on the Wi-Fi stuff but he just had his apartment done with it. Howard said he can't get away from it.
Howard said he has a question system in his house and he sleeps in his house with it next to his head. He said they tell you not to sleep with electronic stuff near your head. Robin brought up the deodorant thing that Howard was talking about the other day. Howard said he's going to end up turning Amish next week. He said Robin should read the article he read in GQ. Robin said she would get all upset if she read that.
Howard said he read about the iPad but he thinks that putting a book in your lap might be a better idea. Robin said the Kindle isn't like that (yes it is). Howard said no one ever got book cancer from paper. He said in the demo they showed reading the NY Times but the guy has this device sitting on his balls. He said Steve Jobs looks like shit and he's been around a lot of this electromagnetic stuff. He said that Jobs made Schimmel look athletic.
Robin got back to her news and read about some new Beef Jerky that's out and they're putting caffeine in it. Robin said that the guy calls it ''perky jerky.''
Robin read that PETA is upset about groundhogs being used on Groundhog day. They want robotic groundhogs to be used instead. They want the live groundhogs to be retired. Howard said he agrees that they should treat animals well but it's a groundhog and they appear to treat them well.
Robin had some news about the President's State of the Union address that was on last night. Robin talked about the way the crowd was reacting to him. They spent a few minutes on that story. They played some audio clips from the speech as well.
Robin had some Haiti news as well. She had audio clips of a reverend who had gone down there to help. Robin said that Wyclef Jean is asking for continuing aid for Haiti so they can rebuild down there. She had some audio of him talking about how they were looking to get water trucks to communities down there. Howard said it's a shame that everyone there wants to get out of that place but they can't leave. He said it's like a prison camp.
Robin read some more news about Haiti and how people are fighting for food down there. Howard said he saw Geraldo doing a report from down there and he seems anxious to go to places like that. He can't imagine that it's their dream to be down there.
Robin read some news about Nancy Kerrigan's father being buried today. She had some audio of a woman talking about what Nancy had said about her late father. Howard and Robin talked about how the son and father were fighting over the use of a phone when the father died.
Robin had read a story about a salami recall and Ralph called in asking how you're supposed to tell there's something wrong with it. He said there are no numbers on it. He said that the brand he ate was the brand in the recall.
Robin read a story about Robin Thicke and said that she's in love with his music. Robin was getting all worked up when Howard played some of his music. Fred played some clips of Robin talking about her ''big pendulous breasts'' and how she wants a cock. Robin read about Robin Thicke doing a concert next week.
Robin had some audio of Mel Gibson for Howard to make fun of. She had him talking about his new movie so Howard goofed on him about his anti-Semitic remarks.
Robin had a story about Gordon Ramsey the chef and how he has a new season of his TV show coming up. Robin said the singer for Coldplay is going to be in an episode of the Simpsons so she had audio of him talking about that. Howard cut it off after a few seconds. They wrapped up and ended the show around 11:20am
Ronnie came in so Jon asked him about his show since they didn't have him for long. Ronnie said that he's not sure what's going on with his show. He said he didn't curse at all during his show. He said that he slipped with one ''shit'' during the show and that was it. He said that Richie was the host and he was going to let him do his thing and let the Hemi Girl read the spots. He said that they wanted him to read the spots so that's why he did it.
Ronnie said he had Jason, Richie and the girl in there and they were all laughing at him while he was reading the commercial. He said he could see it while he was trying not to look but he couldn't avoid seeing it. Ronnie said that Jason is so full of shit too. He said he says one thing off the air but then he says something different to the news.
Ronnie said that they were all talking about the show after they were done and Jim told him it was good but it needed some tightening up. Jason even said it was great and then went behind his back and said something different. Ronnie said he was warned about Jason and he should have kept him off the show. He said he's a fuckin' snake and he was warned about him.
Gary asked Ronnie if he would have rather have had Jason tell him the show sucked. Ronnie said he would rather have it that way.
Jason came in and said that he's not even sure what he said to Shuli yesterday. Ronnie said that the headlines that Lisa read today made it sound like he didn't like it at all. Jason said that they should listen to the tape first before deciding if he said anything wrong or not.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that Jason was swearing the other night and maybe he was trying to ruin the show. Jason said he didn't even know he was swearing that much. He said he wasn't trying to sabotage the show. Ronnie said that he was the only one told not to curse. He said Howard told him to watch his language so that's what he did.
Ralph called in band gave them some advice on the Ronnie show too. JD came in when he heard Ronnie saying that he thought his own car show was boring. Ronnie said that he wasn't going to apologize to JD for getting mad at him over that whole thing.
Ralph said he liked something Ronnie did on the old show. He said he likes hearing him asking people ''What's your problem?'' when he'd answer the phone. Ronnie said he was doing that on this show.
Jason said he came in on Tuesday morning and he was in a bad mood. He said it was a bad day for him and he was sorry about that. He said he was over tired.
Jason said he just assumes that no one listens to their news so that's why he said what he said. Shuli was in and said that Lisa didn't screw up the headlines, he said that he had the direct quote from Jason that he could play for them. Ronnie said he didn't want to hear it now. Benjy said they could change the meaning of the quote if they took it out of context.
Gary said that Pete was in the hall flicking his pass around a lot and there were no cameras there and he wasn't doing it for anyone. Ronnie said he gets that but the shirt getting soaked was a bit. He said he's pretty sure it was a bit. Ronnie said that he does that stuff just like Benjy does his shtick.
Benjy went off on Ronnie for always doing that to him. He was yelling at Ronnie for doing that all the time so they had to calm him down.
Ronnie said that Pete will come from the back of the room to talk to people and ask them what's up. He said that he did that with Jeff Schick. He said that Pete will find them and come out and find out what they're doing. Gary said that Pete is a busy body even without the illness.
Jason said that there is something wrong with Pete but maybe it's not even Tourette's. Pete came in and said that it's just who he is. He said he's not putting anything on.
Ronnie asked him why he has a press photo. Pete said that's for his acting. Ronnie said there's a lot of acting going on there in the hallway. That's what the acting is. He said that he does a lot of stuff there that's acting.
Jon asked Pete if he came there wanting to be a star or did he come to be an intern. Pete said he came there to be an intern. Ronnie asked when they're going to hear the truth.
Shuli said he was in a hotel room with Pete for 2 days and there was no shtick going on. He said that the shirt thing is that he washes his hands for like 10 minutes and the water gets on it. He said that the counter gets soaked because he's very fidgety with his hands. They had to go to break after that.
The caller also asked Gary why he lets Ralph get to him so much. Gary said he's not sure. He said that Ralph got close to Howard and he used to make it seem like he had Howard's ear on a lot of stuff and they learned that it wasn't even true. He said he's not sure why he keeps thinking that he does. He said that Ralph used to make his life difficult when he would steer things in a direction that he wasn't trying to go in back in the days when Ralph was doing Howard's hair. He said that may carry over to his problems these days.
Gary said that Howard kind of bummed him out today when he asked him if he really thought that he could be influenced the way he was thinking. The caller said that Gary might be making stuff up in his head. Gary said he's right about that.
Another caller said that Jason has mommy issues and maybe he's replicating her behavior toward others. Jason said that's possible. He said that a lot has probably rubbed off on him. The caller said that Jason seems to kind of back stab people. Jason said that his mom wasn't a back stabber. He said he always saw the knife coming. Jason said the guy might be going down the right road but he's not going to talk about his mom.
Jason said that he went back and listened to Shuli's report and he's totally vindicated. He said they do need to tighten up the show but it was okay. He said he didn't say that they had to end the show. Jason said that they weren't very structured and he didn't think it would be a recurring show but he'd like to hear more. Jason said that Ronnie doesn't seem to be that upset with him now that he's played it for him.
Benjy was asking Jason about his mom but Jason said he doesn't want to talk about her on the air just like Benjy doesn't talk about his dad on the air. Benjy said that he doesn't have a problem doing that. He said he talks to his father like 5 times a week. Jon said that Benjy has made a big deal out of his father before. Benjy said he doesn't do that.
Benjy ended up going off on Gary about the way he was talking about his father and brought up Gary's father's name and kept repeating it. Gary said that Benjy was hijacking the show again and it's obvious that he doesn't like talking about certain things on the show. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:40am.