|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard and the guys were back from their week long vacation today. Howard started off the show talking about the Fight Week special they ran last week. He said that the fans liked it. Howard said that has inspired him to fight this week.
Howard said he tuned in last week but had to turn it off because it was making him cringe. They talked about the Rainbow Room fight and Howard said that's the one that made him really cringe. Artie said he heard the one where Robin didn't think that Howard appreciated her birthday.
Howard said that someone asked him to ask Robin about that fight. He said that the person wondered what was in Robin's mind at the time. Howard said he thinks that she needed attention or something and it had to have been festering in her. Howard said it was actually Gary who said it to him.
Gary came in and said that he heard it today and not last week. He said that it wasn't really a fight because Robin just came back from commercial break and wondered if she should say it on the air because she wasn't able to do it off the air. He wondered where Robin's head was at back then. Robin didn't remember. She just laughed when they asked her about it.
Robin said that one of the funniest comments Howard makes is about how she shouldn't comment about gifts that are given. Robin said Howard odes that with every present he gets and tells you if it was good or not.
Howard asked what the beef was with Robin back then. Gary said that it was like Howard hadn't observed the birthday himself and pawned it off on someone else. Robin said it was a night out with Howard's wife and kids and Howard wasn't involved in it at all. Robin said that it was like Howard didn't have anything to do with the gift at all.
Gary said he wanted to know why Robin was so upset about that one thing back then. Howard said he thinks that Robin was in love with him at the time. He said that Robin is in love with him more than any man she'll ever meet. Robin said she wasn't aware of that. Howard said that it was a night alone from him, that's why they thought she would like that gift.
Robin said that they spend too much time together as it is and she wasn't upset that she wasn't going to get more time with him back then. Gary asked what it was that bothered her then. Robin said that she thought she was going to spend some time with Howard and he should have been the one taking her to the theater.
Gary asked Robin if Howard tells Beth to go out and buy her something for herself and if that's wrong to do. Robin said that's not wrong and that's not what she was upset with Howard about. She was upset that Howard wasn't going to go with her. Gary asked if she would be upset with him if he did the same thing and wasn't going to the theater. Robin said she would like Gary to go with her if he gave her the gift. Robin said it was like Howard was sending her to the theater with his wife and kids and wasn't going.
Artie said that women take that birthday thing more seriously than guys do and you'll get shit forever if you don't celebrate it right. Howard said that's what happened to him.
Howard said it shouldn't have mattered so much to her about him. He said that she has to be in love with him after hearing that. Robin said that she always says she loves Howard. Howard said that Robin's stomach is turned when she thinks about him. Robin said that it would be like making love to God if she was with Howard.
Artie thought Robin got out of the hole quicker than ever with that God comment. Howard said that he was cringing during that whole fight with Robin.
Gary said they played that fight where Jackie mentioned the name of a hotel. Gary said that was one that was rough on Jackie too. Howard said he used to get really crazy with stuff like that. He said it was like there was always a deal going down with Jackie. He said it sounded like a deal went down and his name was used in some way.
Artie said that he could have made it more organic instead of blurting out the name of the hotel. Howard said that's the way Jackie did things back then. He said that kind of stuff made him insane.
Howard said he's not sure why Jackie would plug that place if he had already gotten a discount. Robin said that he may have made a deal that he didn't want to talk about on the air. Howard said that stuff would always make him crazy because he knew there was more to the story than Jackie let on.
Gary said that he tuned in last week and heard himself getting yelled at so he had to turn the radio off. Robin said that there was one time when she refused to do the news. She didn't remember that one. Gary reminded her about what that one was about. Robin didn't remember that.
Howard said there was one where Robin was late for a book signing and that got her all upset. That's the one that Gary was talking about. Howard said they gave Robin a hard time about that. Robin said that she was traveling every weekend for months to promote her book and it was exhausting. She said that she was traveling after the show on a Friday and it was really awful. She said she overslept the Cleveland book signing and that's why they were giving her a hard time. Robin said that really pissed her off. Howard said it was like it happened yesterday.
Artie said that the PDT scroll on the radio was great because it was always someone's name before ''...catches some grief.'' Gary said that he heard the clip where he told Sal ''Welcome to the Stern Show douche bag'' and liked that.
Artie said that there was a great segment when Sal wouldn't admit to sending an e-mail about a bit that was stolen from the show. Artie said that was a great one because he sent it to the show in two ways but wouldn't admit that he was doing it as if he were a fan sending in the exact same thing that he had sent in through Lotus Notes.
Howard said that they got a lot of great feedback about the Fight Week special. Howard said some of the feedback said that the regular show isn't that good and the special was even better. Howard said a lot of that came from SternFanNetwork.
Howard asked if Artie's fight with Teddy made it into that special. Artie said they didn't play that. He said he thought they were concentrating on the older stuff in that special.
Gary said that he heard about why Robin didn't do the news in that one segment they played. Gary said that Robin was just in a bad mood that day.
Robin said she didn't remember not wanting to do the news. She said these things happen though. She said that she was talking to some people about the show over the weekend and telling people how they don't rehearse the show at all. Howard said that they'd have to do a dry run at 2 in the morning if they were going to rehearse it.
Howard said they do 5 hours of show every day and they don't even remember a lot of what they said. Robin said that the FCC complaints were always like that and they never thought much about what they were saying at the time.
Howard said he thinks that he story got out there because Jamie released it. He said that he doesn't think that anyone is listening over there so how else would it have gotten out? Howard played the audio of Jamie and his guests talking about Miley and making fun of her gummy smile and pretending he didn't know who she was.
Jamie and his co-hosts were throwing out a few insults and telling her to go make a sex tape or something. Howard said that the girl is only 16 years old and some of those things they were saying were kind of rough. Howard said that he would never do anything like that to a 16 year old.
Howard said that the Greaseman did something like that when he got into some trouble for what he said. Howard said that a lot of guys pull that ''I'm like Howard Stern'' thing when they get into trouble like that.
Howard said that he used to hang out with this black guy at the gym and he once asked him about some comments he made about Martin Luther King and it turns out it was The Greaseman who said it and the guy got confused when the Greaseman said he was ''like Howard Stern.'' Howard said he ends up getting tagged for that kind of stuff and he thinks that he'll get tagged with the Miley Cyrus stuff too and she'll be mad at him.
Artie said that the funny thing is that most people hear the insult and never the apology. This is the opposite with Jamie Foxx. No one heard the insult but they all heard the apology. That led to Howard playing a clip of Jamie on the Tonight Show talking to Jay Leno about what happened on his show and how he's like ''The black Howard Stern...'' Howard said that you have to win that whole thing and you can't be the black Howard Stern until he appoints him that. Howard said that the only black Howard Stern is Bubba the Love Sponge.
Howard said that he doesn't need people blaming him for saying stuff like that when he's not saying it. Robin said that they are blaming Howard for saying things like that and he really wouldn't do that.
Howard played a bunch of other clips where they referred to the Jamie Foxx comments and connected him to Howard Stern. He had a some various news reporters talking about the situation and mentioning that Jamie said that he's the ''black Howard Stern.''
Howard said that they have to hold a contest to find the real ''Black Howard Stern.'' He said that Jamie did win an academy award so maybe he is the Black Howard Stern. Howard said he kept getting those reports about that over vacation and he knows that he's going to hear about it.
Howard said he's kind if a fan of Miley's and he may just go seen that Hanna Montana movie. He said he's actually never seen that show. Robin said it's one of those kid's shows and you can kind of identify with her if you're a kid that age.
Howard said that the next time he gets into trouble he's going to go on the air and say that he's the White Howard Stern and blame Howard Stern for what he says.
Jon Hein came in and said that Howard wouldn't enjoy the Hanna Montana stuff. He said that you don't even know that she's Miley Cyrus on the show. Jon explained to Howard what the show was about and how she hides her identity from her schoolmates and stuff and her dad coaches her on what she should be doing in her life. Jon said that the movie is about her getting too big and she has to go back to the farm to learn how to be more down to earth.
Robin said that Billy Ray Cyrus was on shows talking about Jamie Foxx too. She said that he was talking about what a great father he is and things like that.
Howard said that Billy Ray lets his daughter live with a 20 year old guy and she's only 16. Howard said that he would never let his 16 year old do that. He said that she's a sophomore in high school, there's no way that's happening.
Jon said that he knows that the Cyrus family is supposed to be very Christian. Howard wasn't sure how that led to them letting their 16 year old live with a 20 year old. Jon said he understands that the 20 year old is very Christian too.
Howard read that the 20 year old is an underwear model. Robin said that he is a very cute kid from what she's seen.
Artie said that he has lost a few pounds. Howard said he gained a few. Artie said that he joined a gym down by him and he was playing full court basketball with 18 year olds. He said that the competitive thing really works for him and he was playing games and working out that way. Artie was also on the treadmill and in the sauna.
Howard asked Artie if he got winded. Artie said that he had one full game in him. He did fine with that. He said that he gets deadly for about 5 minutes and that's about all he has in him. He said that his team did win though.
Artie said that he was eating healthy, for him. He said that he didn't have much soda for the last 3 weeks. He said that he's only had 4 glasses of Coke in the past few weeks. Artie said he went to the eye doctor too while they were off. Howard said he went too.
Artie said that he hasn't been doing any drugs or drinking lately. He said he did have a gig in Syracuse on Friday so he went and gambled. He won about 10 grand in Blackjack. Howard said that's pretty impressive.
Howard said that FOX is crazy because they make it seem like it was a major deal that he did this. Howard said that they make you think that the only people who can save America are people like Rush Limbaugh.
Howard talked about the hot chicks they have on FOX News and how they seem to just disappear if they get close to hitting the wall. Howard said that it's almost like they all look alike too. Robin said it's like they have a farm out there and they're raising them all to look the same and do the same thing. Howard said that he gets distracted by how hot they are. He said that he doesn't even hear what they're saying.
Howard said that they were promoting this Susan Boyle woman on the news so he wanted to check that out. Howard said he went on the internet and watched the clip of this woman singing on the show ''Britain's Got Talent.'' Howard said that Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan are on the show as judges. Howard said that this woman looked like a man in drag and she was heavy. He said she looks kind of like a man. Howard said that she almost looks retarded. Gary said she has the biggest eyebrows of any human he's seen.
Howard said that he audience were laughing at this woman and then she starts singing and she sings like an angel. Howard said that she was never able to get out and perform because she had taken care of her mother all these years. Howard said that she claims that she's never even been kissed. Robin said that every woman should be able to get kissed at some point in their life.
Howard said that this woman goes on to sing and it's amazing. He said he would play the clip but you really have to see the visual. Howard said that she looks like Belushi in drag or something.
Howard said he was going to play one of Susan Boyle's songs but it was actually Blue Iris singing ''I love cock and balls'' instead.
Howard said that was the big news this week that this woman could sing. They showed a picture of her on the monitors in the studio and Artie said she looked like Simon Cowell with a wig. Howard said it looked like she might have hair coming out of her chin too. She really can sing beautifully according to Howard.
Howard said that the song she did was from a play but he wasn't sure what it was. Gary said the song was from Les Miserables and the Howard TV guys had the audio if he wanted to hear it. Howard had them play it. Howard said he did get the chills when he watched it. Robin said it was amazing. She said that it could bring you to tears.
Artie said he wanted to fuck the blonde judge on that show. Howard said that she is hot. He didn't know who she was though. Artie said that the singing was unbelievable. Howard said it was kind of a beautiful thing because they were goofing on her like she was a retard or something.
Howard said he went on there on Thursday and Friday and did some twittering with the audience. Howard said that people were telling him that they couldn't believe he was doing it but meanwhile they were doing it themselves. Howard said that he's not going to twitter, he's just trying out the technology.
Howard said that he doesn't get why people would be on the service and say that it sucks. Howard said that right now the guys are twittering stuff. Gary is sending out quick messages to the audience. Howard said that they can give details of what's going on in the back office and stuff like that.
Artie and Robin were asking how that works and how the fans can find out what they're twittering. Howard said that they have to be logged in and watch what their feed is saying. Howard said that Tim thinks that people will subscribe to SIRIUS if they get in on that whole thing.
Howard said that the audience was freaking out that they were doing this and now it seems like it's more of a negative thing than a positive. Howard said that maybe they shouldn't be twittering and maybe it is gay. Robin said that she went and signed up that day and she hasn't ''tweeted'' once.
Howard said that you can sign up to different people's Twitter and you can see what people say when they send messages to your phone. Howard said that he used to watch that kind of stuff on Gange's Facebook account. That's the same kind of stuff you can see on this Twitter thing.
Artie said that the dogs are amazing because they did hit on the two jackets that he probably had drugs in. Howard and Robin told Artie he should get a drug sniffing dog as a pet. Howard said that would have been a great thing to have when he was on drugs.
Howard said he heard that Artie was getting yelled at for smoking cigarettes over the weekend. Artie said that his trainer was swiping them out of his mouth the whole time.
Howard said that it sounds like Artie doesn't want to be off of drugs. Artie said that this guy Mike saw that he was ready to do this thing and that's why he's helping him out. Artie said that Mike told him that if he had found drugs in the house then he would have wondered why they were doing that.
Robin asked Artie how he's going to therapy if he was at his shore house the whole week. Artie said that he did call the guy but he also told him that he was on vacation for a week. Artie said that he called the guy when he was feeling like he might want to take something.
Artie said that he therapist talked him through the whole thing and it did help him out. He said that he's not sure if he's going to be charged for the full session or not. Howard said he's pretty sure that he will pay. He said that therapists will charge you for stuff like that.
Howard said he was at his parent's house yesterday. He said they're doing well and people are always asking him how they're doing since they're up there in age. Howard said his mother made some great minestrone soup. He said that she retired from cooking but came out of retirement for him.
Howard said his father has his mother trained well. She asks his father if he wants coffee and he says he wants some and she'll get right up and make it himself. Howard said that he'll hand her the cup and she'll give him some more. Howard said that he's never been able to get a woman to do that for him. Robin said that's old school stuff and her parents were like that.
Robin said that her mother used to cut her father's toe nails for him. Howard said that Beth actually did that for him this weekend. He said that she was complaining about how they were ragged so she cut them because his vision is so bad now. Gary said his vision is getting really bad now too and he can't even read a menu at a restaurant.
Howard said he told his parents he was going to bring sandwiches to their house for lunch one day. He said that his mother was telling him that they eat Yogurt for lunch so he should bring his own lunch and they can eat that. Howard said that he was just going to eat at home and then come over. She wanted them to come over with the food though. Howard said that he just wanted to get some sandwiches and didn't want them to have to do anything at all.
Howard said he told his mom to get her yogurt and they'd come over. Then he got a call from her a half hour later saying that Ben wanted them to bring the food over. Howard said that he must have gotten a hold of her and made her break her routine this one time.
Howard said that he was going to be there around noon but then it was 10 after 12 and he wasn't there yet. He said that he knew it was going to be horrible. He said that his father was going to freak out on him if he wasn't there on time. Beth told him to calm down because they weren't going to be like that. Howard said he knew it was going to be horrible.
Howard said that his father was standing at the door at 10 after 12 waiting for them. Howard said he knew that he was going to be upset with him. Howard said that Beth started laughing when she saw him standing there.
Howard said the house looked great and they had a good time with his parents. Gary asked if they asked him why they were late. Howard said that they didn't do that. Howard said that the dog was with them but he wasn't going to bring the dog into the house. He said he knows his parents would hate that and he's sure that his father would freak out if he did bring her into the house.
Howard said he can imagine what his parents would talk about after he left if he had brought the dog in. He said he let the dog pee and then put the dog back in the car. He said that he didn't have to explain to his dad why he put the dog back in the car. Howard said he gets really uptight when he goes to visit because of all of their rules.
Howard said that his mother has said that Beth is ''a giver'' and she's also a giver so that's a good thing. She also wanted him to marry Beth so that was a nice thing. Howard said he heard his mother asking Beth if she was happy with him when he got up to go to the bathroom. Howard said his mother was complimenting herself by saying that she had raised a good son.
Howard said that his parent's house got a make over and it's looking good. Robin said that she went to someone's house for Easter and they had plastic on everything. Robin said that she was shocked when she saw that. She said that they had plastic on the tables and furniture. She said they had it on the cushions on the chairs and even over the table that they were eating at. She said that they were white people too. Howard said that maybe they were going for a retro-tacky look. Robin said maybe that's a new thing, retro-tacky. Robin said that the plastic must be really nice in the summer when you stick to it.
Howard said that's surprising to hear. He said that he thought the plastic stuff was over with. Robin said it really surprised her. Howard said that's really odd. Artie agreed. He said that the girl he took to the prom, the same girl he attempted to rob the bank with, had plastic in the house she lived in.
Gary said that his parents used to have bed sheets over the couch and people would ask if they were painting or something. He said that they'd take it off when people would come over for a visit.
Robin said they had plastic runners over their carpeting. She said that was really weird. Howard asked about the people she visited and found out they had the plastic on the chairs they were sitting at. She said the plastic on the table was like a table cloth. Howard said that sounds interesting and now he's thinking about covering people instead of the furniture. Artie said it would be like a haz-mat suit. Howard said that he had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that he and Gary were arguing during the break. He said that he had Lisa G coming in first and then they'd get back to the argument.
Lisa said that Sal had his big financial planning meeting and they spent 9 hours working on that. He said that Sal had 9 credit cards and they had a 31 percent interest rate on one of the cards. Lisa mentioned some of the cards they had and Howard wondered why they would need a Banana Republic card. Gary said that sometimes they offer special deals if you sign up for cards like that.
Lisa said that they're going to put all of the money they owe on one credit card and they're going to pay that down with the money Sal makes on the road doing comedy. Howard said he told Sal that he was spending too much on interest and he's glad to see that he's finally doing this.
Lisa said that Sal has started to cut back already. Howard asked Lisa if she has any credit cards. Lisa said that she usually says no to them went hey offer cards from stores like The Gap and places like that.
Sal came in and told Howard that he helped him out with this whole thing when he gave him some suggestions. Sal said that they have about $51,000 in credit card debt. They're not going to be buying a new car, they just got their Land Rover fixed. Howard said that it's a nice car but Sal said that the one he has is a piece of shit.
Sal said that he had purchased an extended warranty and about a month later the spark plug wires didn't work and he had to pay for them, they weren't covered. Sal said that his wife was the one who bought that and didn't look into what was covered.
Howard asked Sal about the meeting they had and if his wife was there. Sal said she was there and the financial planner was helping explain to her that they can't afford to buy a new car and stuff like that. Howard said she has to be on board and be part of the team to keep those things down. Sal said that he and his wife actually had a little sex over vacation.
Sal said that sometimes his wife will tell him that his breath smells like dog shit. He said that he's usually too lazy to do anything about it. Then the other night he caught a whiff of her breath and it smelled like shit so he told her that and she blew in his face to make it worse. Sal said that she usually doesn't smell bad but that night it was bad.
Sal said that he and his wife are getting along after the financial advisor came in and helped them out. He said that he loves that the guy came in and helped.
Lisa got back to her news preview and mentioned that Underdog Lady still wants Tim Sabean to march with her later this year in a parade. That led to the guys talking about how good Tim is looking after losing so much weight on the detox diet.
Lisa said that they have a story about Joey Boots coming back to New York just two weeks after he left. Joey found a Stern fan to take him in. He said that he has his own room at the guy's house. Howard wondered why Joey wouldn't just go down there and visit before moving down. Lisa said that he was pulling out his hair down there and just couldn't take it anymore.
Richard also read about another woman who would get about 7 slices of pizza and then put it on the table and run right back to get more before she started to eat. There were other people complaining about the buffet for having too much thin crust pizza. One woman was complaining about them not keeping up with them. Richard wrote that he's pretty sure that the women where there taking shits during the meal as well.
Howard said that Richard has this gaping wound on his elbow. It turns out it was a zit that he popped and it got infected or something and he had bugs landing on it and stuff. Richard said that he went out fishing in Kansas and a fly landed on it and may have laid eggs or something in it. Richard said he's been putting Neosporin on it. Howard said it has a big ring around it now so he might want to get that looked at. No one else had ever had a zit in that area. Richard said he had a zit on his penis once too.
Howard said that he looked at his balls and thought that he might have a splinter in there or something. He asked Beth to come and look at them and pull the splinter out. Howard said she did pull it out and it felt instantly better. It turns out it may have been a tick. Howard said that he has the thing in an envelope on a piece of tape. Howard said that he's afraid that it might be a deer tick.
Howard said he called his doctor and asked him what he thought. Howard said the little ones are the ones you have to be afraid of. Howard said that he's afraid that they pulled the body off and didn't take the head out. He said that the area doesn't have a ring or anything so hopefully he doesn't have Lyme's disease.
Howard said that he called his doctor and told him about the tick. The doctor told him that he could take some antibiotics without getting diagnosed. He said that he opted for that and didn't want to go and get tested. Howard said he got that all taken care of right away even though he doesn't like to take that kind of stuff.
Howard said that he's not even sure if it was a tick. He said that he really doesn't want to know if it was one or not.
Gary said that some places have a service where you can get them tested. Richard said that he's had 10 ticks on him at one time. That was when he was a kid.
Howard said that Beth never has anything bad happen to her so she never wants to go to the doctor. Howard said that he's too paranoid not to.
Gary said that they have to blast the stone with an ultrasound thing and if that doesn't work, they may have to go in through his penis and blast it out that way. Gary said they wanted to put a camera up there too.
Gary said that his doctor is a straight shooter and tells him exactly what's going on. He said that he told him that the stone he has is one of the biggest he's ever seen.
Gary said that the doctor told him that he has to cut back on taking Tums because that might be what caused the stone. He said that he eats maybe 8 or 10 a day because he has acid reflux. He said that he'll take one and maybe two just to keep it away. He said that the calcium in there is what makes it build up like that. Gary said he had to cut back on iced tea and things like that.
Gary said that he stopped drinking the tea like a year ago. Robin asked Gary what he's going to take for his heartburn now. Gary said he has pills for that now. He said it's probably from eating the shitty food that he's always eating.
Gary said that his wife gets upset that he won't eat vegetables at dinner. He said that he eats them once in a while but not all the time. He eats crap all the time.
Ronnie came in and said that Gary is a major rule breaker with the eating. He said that anything with caffeine in it is bad and he's always eating chocolate. Gary said that he will cut back on it but he's not going to stop. Ronnie said that he had to give up on stuff like that because he had a kidney stone.
Howard said that the fans are going to send in a lot of mail about ticks, flies landing on sores and Gary's kidney stone. Howard said that they don't need medical advice on any of that stuff. He had to take another break after that.
Howard came back and asked Robin if she watched the Miss USA pageant. Robin didn't watch but she saw the final two. Howard said that the winner was pretty hot.
Howard said he had some audio clips from the show to play. He had Miss Arizona answering a question about universal health care. Miss Arizona gave a long answer that didn't answer the question at all. She said it in a way that sounded very rehearsed.
Howard said that Perez Hilton was one of the judges and he asked some questions about gay stuff. Howard played a clip of one of those questions. Perez asked one of the contestants about same sex marriage and if every state should follow Vermont. The contestant said that she was raised to believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. The crowd was cheering her after that. Robin said that she was raised stupid and is going to stay stupid.
Howard said that answer was just stupid. Artie thought she was even stupider than the first contestant Howard played.
Robin said she thinks that she saw the mother of the winner jumping up and down in the audience and she looks nothing like her daughter.
Howard played a clip from a porn movie where this guy is holding a fake cock and they call it ''Baba Booey.''
Howard said that he was having an argument with Gary about this show ''Real Sports'' on HBO. He said he had a clip from the show where this principal figures out that it's best to be non-confrontational. She doesn't even like people playing tag in gym class.
Gary said that this all came up because they're banning dodge ball around the country at schools. Howard said he's all for that too. He said that there are some kids who get nailed really hard with the ball by the bigger kids. Robin said that the game wasn't that bad in the beginning but it did start to get harsh toward the end of her time in school.
Howard said he never understood that game because it won't get anyone interested in sports. Artie said that there are some people who are smaller and uncoordinated and they just can't play. Howard said they were always victims in that game.
Howard said that this guy on Real Sports was saying that this is leading to the wussification of the country. He said they interviewed this woman at this school where she doesn't even want people playing tag. She developed this shadow tag game where you just step on a shadow. She won't even let other kids touch each other in school. Howard said Gary doesn't agree with that but he does.
Howard said that he was thinking that when you're in school you're trapped in a building with shitheads. He said that high fiving is fine but when you're at work as an adult, no one touches anyone else. The problem in school is that kids aren't afraid to take physical liberties with your space and that leads to violence. Gary said he doesn't agree with that.
Gary said that there's no hand shakes even allowed at that school. Robin said that the rules eliminate thinking and that's wrong. Howard disagrees.
Gary said that Tim Sabean is a big hugger and a back patter and he doesn't mind that. Howard said that's different than being in school though. Howard said that you should stay out of people's space and that's teaching you how to do that. Gary and Robin said that it's regulating it and it's not right.
Howard said that he wants people to leave him alone and he agrees with the rules that this principal has come up with. Gary said that it's not right because kids should be allowed to shake hands or hug them. Robin said that they should be allowed to hug and stuff. Howard said that you have to do it on your own rules and own system outside of school.
Gary said that they had a whole discussion in a group and Jason was one who agreed with the dodge ball thing. Jon and Gary didn't think it was right but the kid who probably got pounded in dodge ball was against it. Howard is against it too because he doesn't think it's right for people to get blasted like that.
Howard said that Gary's kids go to a she-she school and not to a school that's like something out in the mid-west where the teachers are scum bags and don't care if the kids get abused.
Artie said he can remember kids in gym class crying after stuff like that. He said he agrees with Jon and Gary on that stuff though. He doesn't think they should take it away.
Gary said that he had a teacher that would snap girl's bras in gym class. Robin said that she remembers kids doing that to the girls in class too. Howard said that teachers have to teach this stuff because the parents aren't doing it these days.
Yucko the Clown called in and said that he was out in Kansas doing some shows with Richard. He said that Richard's mom was there and she got loaded. He said he sees where he gets his drinking. He said that she was stumbling all over the place.
Howard asked Richard if that was true. Richard said that she never drinks so it hit her pretty hard that night. Richard said that they were all doing shots that night and she doesn't drink enough to be immune to it like he is.
Richard asked Yucko how much of the tequila Levy drank. Yucko said that Bob Levy drank a whole bottle of tequila. The guys talked about Levy for a short time and talked about how he was drinking that stuff like it was water.
Howard played some audio of a news report about the ''shadow tag'' and the banning of touching in that school. Howard said he loved that story as the clip was playing. The reporter was asking if they can high five at school. The kids were saying they have to do ''air fives'' and ''air hugs'' instead of touching. The kids were saying they like the rules.
Howard said he wishes that he could have gone to a school like that when he was growing up. He said that as an adult he doesn't have to let anyone into his personal space and kids should be allowed to do that too. He said that kids can be as aggressive as they want and that's just not right. Robin said that they have to teach the kids and this woman has given up on teaching. She said that the kids can't be trusted to touch each other in a gentle fashion.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she got creamed with a ball one time and had her arm broken because of it. Howard said Scott the Engineer had a story about how he had to get fully nude and swim in gym class. Robin said that every boy swam naked in class in her school.
Howard said that they should let them wear bathing suits. Howard said that they have to have rules and can't just let people throw balls at your head or get naked and swim with other boys.
Howard said that this woman should be put in charge of all schools in America. Robin asked Howard when kids should be allowed to make decisions on their own. Howard said they should be okay when they're in their 60s.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that his daughter is 8 and she's small for her age. He said that the kids treat her like she's their thing and she hates it. She doesn't want anyone touching her and there are no rules against it.
Howard said that kids don't have anyone teaching them what's right and that's what he found when he was in school himself. Robin said that they can't treat the kids like they're prisoners though. Howard said that they have to treat them like that. Robin argued and said that's just not right.
Howard and Robin were arguing about that for a short time. They were going back and forth talking about how people don't have to think these days. Howard said he knows that he's annoying when he argues because he always ends a sentence with ''Ahhhh'' like he just made a great point.
Howard asked Becky to spin around for them. Artie said he had to get out of there after he saw that. Howard said that Gange is in love with this girl too. He said that Becky did a scene for them for Show in the Hallway and Gange has never been a part of the show before. Now that she did it, Gange showed up and directed her in the scene.
Gange came in and said that this story is so not true. Howard said he heard that Gange was trying to give her more lines and was coaching her in stuff. Gange said that he does get into the Show in the Hallway stuff but then Sal came in and said that he has never been a part of the Show in the Hallway except for one. Sal said that they did four shots last week and this was the first one that Gange came in and directed the girl in.
Sal said that Gange had the camera on her the whole time and he was directing her in it. Gange said that's not right.
Sal said that Becky was going to leave after the shoot but then a half hour later she was in the green room with Gange talking. Gange said that he did an interview with her that day because she was unavailable any other time.
Howard said that Gange is in love with this girl. Becky said that they actually had dinner on Friday. Ronnie came in and said that Gange did a shoot with her at Rick's one night and he did it alone. Ronnie said that he went over to Rick's on Friday night and he saw Gange hanging out with her there.
Howard said that Gange is going to become her best friend and that's what he does with every chick he meets. Becky said that they're already great friends. She said that she's going to have him over to a party in a couple of weeks. Howard said that Gange is out of his mind. Gange said that he's really not working her, he's just doing his job. He said he actually did a shoot with her at her apartment and he's really not working her.
Howard said that Gange is getting nowhere with her. Becky said that she hasn't known him for that long. Howard said he was reading what she wants to do and she's looking to be a Playmate. She would even marry Hugh Hefner if she could. She said that she finds him to be an awesome person. She said she thinks that she would get along very well with him.
Becky said that she's into girls too. She said that she does need a guy though. Becky talked about going out with a girl one night and getting hot and heavy in a cab with her. Becky told the story about how the girl came on to her that night and how they went home together.
Becky said that the other girl was doing stuff to her in the cab and had her shorts down and put her fingers down there and did some licking and kissing. She said that the other girl gave her an orgasm when they got home. She filled Howard in on the details about how she pleasured the other girl first and then the other girl did her.
Becky said that her boyfriend was over one night and he wasn't able to get it up for her and another girl. She said that the other girl was yelling at him and stuff and that didn't help. She said that she and the other girl were going at it with each other and he wasn't able to do anything. The other chick was telling him that he was chicken shit and that she was going to leave if he didn't give it to her.
Howard said that Becky is going to be part of the new Strip Beer Pong show they have on Howard TV this month. Howard said that she's also on HowardStern.com today.
Howard said Becky thinks that she'll be a great wife to someone some day because she likes to cook and she's good at oral and massaging.
Howard tried some dirty talk with Becky because she said she was good at that too. He did that a little bit and read about how she thinks she's passionate in bed and that she likes to masturbate a lot. Becky said that she has the Rabbit vibrator and it broke. She said that she hadn't used it for a while so she got a new one and orgasmed 5 times in a row with that. She said that the toy is the Jessica Drake Rabbit and it's amazing. Howard asked if she uses that when she's with a guy. She said that some guys are against using toys so she can't do that all the time.
Howard asked Becky what kind of stuff she does that she thinks is kinky. She said that she will play with toys and stuff and she will answer the door naked and just wearing heels sometimes. Howard asked if she can get off from just a guy's penis. She said that it's not that easy but she can if she's comfortable with the guy.
Howard read that Becky had gotten into a fight with a girl in school and beat her up. She ended up getting suspended from school because of the beating she gave her. Becky said they had to pull her off of the other girl.
Howard thanked Becky for coming in. She told Howard that she had another story to tell. She said that she was watching the ''Private Parts'' movie and when it came to the scene when the girl was on the speaker, she tried the speaker thing. She said she turned the bass all the way up and turned on the speaker and she was able to finish by doing that. She was only like 12 at the time.
Howard asked if she was willing to show her boobs. She said she would and took her top off. Howard said that they weren't too big or too small. They were fake but not too big. She said that they were D-cups and they fell really nice so they don't look fake. She said that she did some special editions for Playboy but one of the guys said that they were too far apart.
Howard asked Becky why she doesn't strip at Rick's. She said that she loves giving massages so she's sticking with that. She said that it's a great place to work. Becky said that everyone is very trustworthy there and he really enjoys what she does there.
Artie asked Becky why she's not dating. She said she's just looking to do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it. She said she's not looking for anyone right now because she can masturbate herself better than anyone can.
Howard found out that Becky has had her ass licked so he asked her how that happened. She told Howard the story about how she met this guy down at a strip club in Philadelphia. The guy was a manager there. She said that it turned out the guy was engaged to another woman and she found out about that months after she had the guy do the ass thing. She said that he was really big too.
Howard wrapped up with Becky and mentioned that they're going to be featuring her on Howard.tv.
Howard found out that Gange invited Becky to an event that he's going to in Vegas. Gange said that he was already going out there and she had never been so he invited her. Howard told Gange to just ask her out. Gange couldn't do it. Howard said that Gange is a mess.
Artie asked Gange if he would be pissed off if he asked her out and she said yes. Gange said that he wouldn't be. No one believed that. Gange said that he's trying to be professional and not ask her out. Howard asked Becky for him instead. He asked Becky if she would go out with him. She said that she would. She's not looking for a relationship though so they would just go out and hang out once in a while.
Howard asked if they could ever get physical. She said that it's possible. She asked him if he would stick his tongue up her ass. Gange said he would for her. Howard had to break after that.
Howard came back and wondered what song they were listening to. Fred said it was the number one song. Howard said he bets that they play that at Rick's. They listened to a couple more minutes of that song. Howard wondered if that was Fergie singing in that song. He got confirmation that it was her a minute later.
Howard said that he bets that Miss Howard TV could probably dance to that song. Artie said he would probably like that song if she did dance to it.
Howard asked the guys to find out if Becky could dance to that. Gange said that she actually just ran outside. He said she just went out to smoke a cigarette. Howard told him to ask her to come back in and dance. Gange said he'd call her to come back up.
Artie said the guys asked him if he would be willing to judge a Miss Howard TV contest. Artie said that's the dumbest question he's ever been asked. Of course he'd judge that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the last segment was ''radio coal'' and it kind of sucked. Howard said that he's sorry he didn't like it but maybe he'll find another half hour in there that he will like. This caller was the guy who asks him about being Imus every day. Howard said he thought the segment was fine and it may not have been the best.
Artie said that he had some Ass Napkin Ed news. He said that Ed sold the two back stage tickets that he gave him for free. Artie said that he asked Ed where the guys were and he had no idea. The guys didn't show up and Ed didn't even go out looking for the guys. Artie said that he totally planned on ripping the guys off. Artie said that it makes him look bad because he was up for letting the guys come back stage.
Artie said that as he was walking out he saw the two guys who bought the tickets and they were huge guys. Artie said that they told him that Ed didn't show up to let them in. Artie said that he brought the two guys back to meet Ed since Ed had planned on ripping them off. Artie said that Ed high tailed it out of there when he brought those guys back there.
Ed's fried Goblin called in and said that they did wait for those guys and they were late so they didn't want to ruin their fun. Artie said that he didn't see Ed after they came in but Goblin said that he did stick around for a little while.
Artie said that the guys had a different story for him than they had for Ed and Goblin. Goblin said that Jeff the Drunk's sister was picking on Ed the whole time. Howard said it sounds like Artie's worst nightmare having Ed there and Jeff the Drunk and his sister.
Artie said that Jeff's sister ''Animal'' was there with her friend. They were asking him to get a room for Jeff because they didn't want him stinking up their room. Artie said he ended up getting him a room. Howard asked him why he cares about that. Artie said he's not sure.
Artie said that Jeff went out on stage and everyone was yelling at him to show his half ass. Jeff was trying to tell jokes but he got heckled so much he just showed his ass and almost fell off the stage.
Howard let Becky go and asked Robin if she could learn that dance so they don't have to call girls back in there. Howard let Becky go after a quick dance.
Howard said he was reading an interview with Jay Leno in GQ magazine and he's still whining about David Letterman not contacting him at all over the years. Howard said that Dave is done with Jay after the way he treated him.
Howard said that Jay was asked how old he was when he lost his virginity. Jay said he didn't remember anything about it or how old he was. Howard said that every guy remembers that moment in their life. He said that no guy would forget that. He said it's just horse shit and not true.
Howard said that he was reading that in that ''Boom Boom Pow'' song was censored on some Clear Channel stations. They censored out the words ''satellite radio.'' Howard played the song again to hear the part where they mention satellite radio.
Artie said that he's going to be going on Jimmy's show in June sometime. Howard said that he sent Jimmy an e-mail and he thinks that he may have never gotten it. He said that he wants someone to let him know that he did e-mail him and maybe he didn't get it. He doesn't want Jimmy thinking that he's a shithead for not e-mailing him.
Howard said that he saw this ''Observe and Report'' movie and it was great. He said that Seth plays a fat security guard in a mall and it's funny as hell. Howard told Robin about some of the stuff that goes on in the movie and said that it was great.
Gary said that he read a review of that movie and it was similar to the ''Paul Blart'' movie. Howard said that this Observe and Report gets really dark and it's really good. Howard said he liked ''Lyme Life'' as well.
Artie said he read a bad review of ''Observe and Report'' but he doesn't care about those kind of reviews, especially for a comedy.
Howard said that he was reading about Rush Limbaugh and how he gives away his show for free. He said that it was in the news over the vacation and they were saying that he just takes advertising money instead. Howard said he's been saying that for years.
Howard said that everyone is beaten up on the whole economy thing. Howard said that they're basically trying to sell radios in cars and the car business is in the shitter right now. Howard said that they're not doing well because of that. Howard said that everyone is just down.
Howard said they finally found Phil Spector guilty of murder. Artie said that everyone who has a story about Spector had a story about him with a gun. He told some stories about Joey Ramone wanting to work with him and how the guy had a gun out within two minutes of Joey meeting the guy.
Howard said that Phil is still saying that he's not guilty and he's got this whole defense where he claims that he didn't kill her.
Steve said that Artie wasn't at the opening game for the new Yankeee's stadium. Artie said he was going to go but he was down at his shore house instead.
Steve said they have more about Captain Janks latest problems. They also have some more about High Pitch Eric's problems with paying his rent and not being evicted yet. Steve mentioned a few other things and got in some plugs for Greg Fitzsimmons' show tonight on Howard 101.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said that Artie didn't get him a room over the weekend. He said that he always gets shit on whenever he does something. Artie said that he did give Jeff $200 and he did ask his guy to get Animal another room. He doesn't know why Jeff is so upset about it.
Howard said that he did ask his guy to do that but he didn't follow through on it so he's not positive he did that. Artie said that Jeff should call back in to talk about that. He said that he's sorry he had Jeff on the show and had him back stage to eat free food and all of that and didn't get him that extra room.
Howard asked Eric how that works and if he will come through on people's phones. It will do that if they're set up to do that. Eric said that he just talks about stuff he's watching on TV and if he likes it. Robin said that's what he's always doing though.
Howard asked Eric what his last Twitter was. Eric said he had to look it up. He wrote a reply to Jimmy Fallon about being mentioned on Howard's show. Howard thanked Eric for that. Eric said that he was trying to find out if they're real celebrities or not. Howard said there's no way to confirm it.
Gary said that Eric had some of Eric's tweets. He said it was almost like he's talking to people. He read some of the Tweets and they were basically Eric telling people to go screw themselves and talking about how stupid some of the stuff on the show was.
Howard thanked Eric for the call and picked up on Jeff the Drunk again. Jeff said that he didn't get any rooms at the hotel. Artie said that he didn't give a shit. Jeff said that his sister paid for her own room and Artie didn't give him anything. Artie said that he was told he did get them a room. Howard said that he's sorry he didn't get him another one. Jeff said that he would only accept his apology in writing. Artie said he'll never get one then.
Jeff said that Howard should apologize to him too because he always assumes that he's trying to get money for nothing. Howard said that he's done that before so it shouldn't be that surprising. Howard had to cut him off and let him go. Then he played a prank call that the guys made using a clip of Jeff yelling ''JIM!'' over and over again.
Jon Hein came in a short time later and read through his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down the list of subjects they were going to be covering today. They ended up talking about Gary's kidney stone problem and goofed on him talking about his ureter.
Gary came in and told Howard that they pulled the clip from ''Boom Boom Pow'' where they mention satellite radio. He said that the song they had in their system was actually bleeped just like it is on terrestrial radio. They had to go on iTunes to pull the full version. Scott the Engineer came in and said that they didn't bleep it, it was just cut out completely. Howard said that's what Gary had just told them. Scott added nothing to the conversation.
Howard said his daughter heard some of fight week last week and she asked him about calling Scott fat. Howard said he didn't listen with her and told her that they work those things out ahead of time so it doesn't offend him. Scott said that's what he tells his wife about the hot chicks they have in there, they work it all out ahead of time.
Jon Hein said that had the message from Howard and it did say that he was available and he would check them all day long. Robin said that's not what it said when she checked it. She said that it said he was out all day.
Robin read a story about Keanu Reeves racing in the Toyota celebrity race. Robin said that she was in that race a few years ago and this is the year she should have been in it. Robin said there were a few big guys out there this year.
Robin read about how one of the kids in Slumdog Millionaire had their father trying to sell them. It was a 9 year old in the movie that the father was trying to sell for $300,000. Howard and Robin spent a short time talking about that story.
Robin talked about Madonna falling off a horse out in the Hamptons. She's blaming the fall on the paparazzi getting too close to the horse and scaring it. The paparazzi are denying that of course.
Robin was reading about Bruce Springsteen working out at some local gym and possibly messing around with some chick at the gym. Robin wondered why he would be going out to a gym when he could have his own built. Howard said that you want to go out and work out with people around sometimes so you can socialize. Howard said that's why he goes to a gym and didn't have one built.
Robin read about Susan Boyle that Howard had mentioned earlier in the show. Robin said that she has the top 5 most downloaded videos on the web. Robin said that she's the hottest thing on the internet right now.
Robin read about the box office takes for the weekend. She said that Zach Efron brought in the most money at the box office this weekend. That led to Howard talking about how effeminate looking that kid is and how that seems to help with the box office for kid movies.
Howard asked how that Seth Rogen movie did. Robin said she thinks that it was number 3 at the box office. Robin said this was the second weekend but it was never number 1. Robin said that Miley Cyrus' movie was number one for a couple of weeks.
Robin read some details about the Miss USA pageant that aired this weekend. She had some audio clips to play from that show as well. Howard said that he still gets the chills when they announce the winner of that pageant.
Robin said that Elliot Spitzer seems to be trying to get back in the public eye so maybe he can run for office again. Howard said that he's not sure he could ever do that again. Howard said he may just be trying to get out of the house so he can get his wife and kids to stop staring at him all day.
Robin read a story about a gunman who hijacked a plane in Jamaica and held the flight crew hostage. They got everyone off the plane and took the gunman in. Howard said that they didn't get a chance to talk about the Navy Seals who took out the pirates. Robin said that they're angry now that they had some people shot and they're going to retaliate by taking more ships hostage and killing people.
Robin said she thinks that one of the guys on the ship got a heroes welcome there in the city yesterday. She found that story and had some audio clips to play of his family talking about how close they came to losing him.
Howard said he thought the days of pirates were over like 2 centuries ago. Howard said that it's hard to go out and rob someone on the high seas. Robin said that they're taking over ships that don't have any weaponry.
Robin read a story about a guy who drove his car into a ditch and killed his 3 kids and two others while he was driving drunk. Robin said that he was answering a phone when he drove into the ditch.
Robin read that it's the 10th anniversary of the Columbine school shootings. She had some audio of the principal of that school talking about how things have changed over the years since those shootings. Robin had some other clips of people talking about what those kids had planned to do at the time with their propane bombs. The bombs never went off but if they had they would have killed everyone in the room at the time.
Howard said that he's surprised that the parents didn't read their kids journals at the time. If they had they would have seen that their kids were the Trenchcoat Mafia.
Robin read a story about a movie that was made about the Columbine shootings. She had some audio of a guy talking about the film and what they get into in that.
Robin said that there's also a movie about the Branch Davidian disaster today. Artie said that it's also Adolph Hitler's birthday and a lot of shitty things happened on this day. Robin said she didn't even know it was his birthday, it's not something she marked in her calendar.
Robin read a story about the President getting some criticism for shaking the hand of Hugo Chavez, the leader of Venezuela. She had some quotes from Obama about the meeting he had with him and some other leaders. Robin said that Chavez had referred to Obama as an idiot in the past. Obama was able to look past that and go meet with the guy.
Robin read that the United Nations is trying to have a conference on racism but there's a boycott because of some comments that might be made about Israel at the conference by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Robin said that the U.S. will be boycotting that conference.
Robin read that someone fell off a cruise ship and she's wondering how that happens so much. Howard said that's because their husbands hate them so much. Robin read the story about this person who fell off and hasn't been found.
Robin read a story about some snakes that were loose on a Quantas flight down in Australia. Robin said that four snakes got loose so they landed the plane. There were four loose and they had to fumigate the plane to kill them to make sure they were dead.
Robin read that a guy saved another man who was being attacked by a swarm of bees in his yard. Fred threw in some sound effects of Benjy screaming with some bee sounds. The stung man had hundreds of bee stings all over himself after the passerby sprayed most of them away with a hose.
Robin read that they're trying to keep fast food away from kids in schools by keeping them far away from schools.
Robin had a story about John McCain's daughter Megan saying that the GOP has to give up on their notions about gay people. Robin had some audio of her talking about that. Robin didn't know if that was McCain's ''hot'' daughter when Howard asked if that's who it was. Robin said she didn't know that he had a hot daughter.
Robin said that they think they may have found Cleopatra and Anthony's tombs. Howard said he doesn't care about that. Robin said that she's kind of into that kind of stuff. Howard said he's amazed that there's still stuff like that to find in this world. He said that he figured that they should have discovered everything by now. The guys talked about how they built over everything in Rome so there's a lot buried there.
Robin had some audio of Beyonce Knowles talking about a movie she's in. Fred was playing Grandpa Al's ''Blah, blah, blah...'' clip while that was playing.
Robin read a story about the movie ''Earth'' that's opening this week. She had some audio of someone talking about that movie and how it's Disney's return to their roots.
Robin mentioned that The Wrestler is out on DVD now and had some audio of Mickey Rourke talking about that. She had some audio of Marissa Tomei talking about her part in the movie and how uncomfortable she was getting naked for the part. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:55am.
Gary said that he was kind of freaked out when he heard that his kidney could fail within 6 months. They also talked about Howard's possible tick bite on his balls.
Gary and Jon also talked about Richard's wound on his arm and the stories he was telling about going to the Pizza Hut buffet. Jon said that Richard was coming in so he asked him if he was freaked out when he saw a fly on his open wound. Richard said he really didn't give a shit.
Jon had Teddy play a clip of Richard talking about the fly landing on the wound. After playing that Richard said it had happened on Tuesday and he didn't put the Neosporin on it until yesterday. Richard said that he was thinking about how cool it is in the horror movies when bugs come out of a wound and he would love to see that happen to him. Gary thinks that he would freak the fuck out if that happened.
Jon asked Richard why he waited to put the Neosporin on. Richard said it was starting to hurt and his parents told him to put it on. He wouldn't have bothered if they didn't tell him to do that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he has an ingrown hair that turned into an open wound. He told Richard he should really get that checked out instead of letting it go. Richard said it started out as a zit. the caller said that they had to cut his leg open for what happened to him.
Gary said that he wanted to see the hole in his leg and told the guy to hold on so they could check it out. Richard said he knows someone who was bitten by a Brown Recluse spider and he almost lost his leg to it. Richard said he'll wait for it to hurt before he does anything. He said that if it doesn't kill him, it'll make him stronger.
Another caller said that he's a wrestling coach and if he's doing any Karate or anything he should have it checked out because it could be from something he caught there. Richard said he hasn't been to a class in a long time so it's not that. Gary told him to just go and get it checked out. Richard said it's a $20 co-pay. Gary said that it's going to cost him a lot more if it's more than a zit.
Gary said that they're getting carried away by making it no touching at all. He said he can understand the dodge ball thing because that can injure kids. He said that they used to use those red balls or volleyballs in his class when they were playing that stuff.
Richard said that he loved playing those games when he was in school. Gary asked if they should take that and make it so you can't touch anyone in school at all.
Benjy said that he played with soccer balls in his class and people would get their noses broken. Benjy said that it is simpler to just say no touching in school and he agrees with Howard on that. Benjy said that you're not supposed to eat in class, that's for lunch time only, so this touching thing is the same thing. They're just telling kids they can't touch until it's the right time.
Gary said that these kids were in third grade so they're not seeing who they were dealing with on that show. Richard said that they used to get spanked by their teachers. Richard said his second grade teacher would spank him if he did something wrong. Richard said that they used to do that kind of stuff and he turned out fine.
Jon said that Jason was making the argument that kids don't have to learn that stuff in school, they can learn some of that stuff outside of school.
Gary said that there was one guy who was saying that musical chairs was wrong too and did away with that before he tried to do away with dodge ball.
Gary said that there are also these new rules about not giving scores for kids who play games. He wondered if that's wrong to keep score for a game. Jon said that you have to learn to be a good winner and not a sore loser too.
Jon asked Jason about what he was saying earlier. Jason said that gym class is 40 minutes of your day and he doesn't need a gym teacher teaching him about there being winners and losers in life. Jason said that those guys are guys who could probably barely graduate a community college and they shouldn't be teaching kids things like that.
Jason said that he doesn't think that you should be treated differently in gym class than in other classes. Jon figured that Jason didn't enjoy gym class. Jason said that he liked dodge ball but he gets why they don't need that kind of stuff. Jason said that all gym teachers are retarded. Jon and Gary said that's not true. Jason said he didn't have that tough of a time in school but this is the way he thinks.
Gary said that he used to have a gym teacher who would make up a team called the Goo Goo Squad and he'd always put the fat kids in that squad. Gary said that they would drag out the net full of balls and the Goo Good Squad was this old chewed up tennis ball that he would tell them to go play hand ball with.
Jason said he loves when they put a gym teacher in charge of something other than gym class. Gary said that they used to teach driving class. Richard said he had a teacher who would spank guys with his belt after the pulled their pants down.
Jason said that he was one of the first kids who had hair on his body and the kids would pluck them out. Jason said that he's kind of for the no-touching policy.
Jon said that sometimes the kids who are bad at sports end up being one of the team captains in gym class. Sal came in and said that's what happened to him. He said that he used to skip gym class all the time and he'd have to make up classes in the morning and they'd be forced to swim laps in the pool.
Sal said that one time he wasn't able to keep swimming and the teacher just stuck a pole into the water and started bashing his back with it to make him swim more. Sal said it didn't help him at all because he's still an awful swimmer.
Jason said that it would be better if they separated the gym classes so they could have a remedial class for the people who weren't good at sports.
Richard asked Jason if he ever got pink bellies from the kids. Jason said that they were playing basketball one time and the kids were all throwing the basketball at his head like 10 times in a row. He said that the teacher had to ask them to stop ''passing it'' to him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that this isn't ''gym'' class, it's supposed to be ''Physical Education'' to teach the kids about exercise. The guy said that he doesn't believe in this no touching thing. He said that what Jason is talking about is bullying and that's really not fair. The guy said that Jason is a big fat fuck because of the way that he was treated in class and it's the teacher's fault. He said that sports are good for kids and they can't stop kids from doing this stuff.
Another caller was saying that Jason was probably in shape in school because he was afraid of getting hit by the ball in dodge ball. Jason said that he liked that game, he wasn't afraid of it. The guy thought that Jason would be in shape if they played that game now. They had to take a break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he went and had the camera up his penis. He said that it's not too fun and you think that you're going to be knocked out but they just put some numbing gel on your ''dink'' and then shove the thing up your penis. He said it's almost the size of a Sharpie pen and they stretch the pee hole out pretty good. The guy said that you end up pissing bubbles and piss out the lube. Jon said that guy had everyone cringing in there.
Another caller said that it's going to be really painful. The guy said that the cable is the size of coax cable and they make a 90 degree bend inside and you can feel it. The guy said that you do get the numbing gel but it is going to be painful. The guy said that they're going to stick it in there take some pictures and it's going to hurt like a motherfucker. Gary said he was sweating after hearing that.
Gary said that he's going to try the ultrasound thing first so hopefully he won't have to have the camera up there.
Shuli said that he knew a guy who was about 300 pounds and the female nurse told him he might want to hold on to something because it was going to be so painful. The guy told him that it was the most excruciatingly painful things he's ever experienced.
Sal asked if they could make that a punishment for something on the show. Gary said yes and told Sal that he had just lost and he wanted to stick a sharpie in there.
Gary asked Sal how much money he owes on credit cards. Sal said it was like $48,900 or so. He doesn't even know what's on there. He said he just knows that he owes it and he has to pay it off. Gary said that if he saw how he got to where he got, he'd know how to avoid it. Sal said he has learned already.
Sal said that he can't change the past so he doesn't want to know what's on the cards. Sal said they're going to bang out the credit cards and refinance the house so they can work things out. He said they're taking baby steps.
Jon said that Howard kind of hit Sal hard a couple of weeks ago but he seems to be taking it pretty well now. Sal said it was a wake up call and he hopes that they're taking care of things.
Gary asked if they have a time table for how long it'll be before they're on track. Sal said their guy told them it should be about a year. He said that he's living a simple lifestyle and he hopes that his wife can live with that too.
Gary said he's amazed that Sal isn't curious where all of that 48 grand went. Sal said he'd rather not know. Richard told him that he's going to have to cut back on the hair spray and things. Sal said he's going to have to cut back on eating out too. Sal said he was cooking the meals this weekend so that's already started.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he loves hearing Sal's financial problems. He asked how Sal is going to pay off all of those bills in a year. Sal said that they're going to refinance the house and try to get out of that within a year or year and a half.
The caller asked if he cut up all of their credit cards. Sal said said that his wife didn't want to cut up the Bloomingdales card because she gets free valet parking. He said that she justified keeping that by saying that she needed it for that.
Sal said that the valet parking is nice and they cut up all of their other cards. Sal said that they had a Good Year card that they cut up. Gary said that Sal is the only one they know who had a Good Year card.
Richard said that if they didn't have valet parking then maybe they would stay away from the mall. Sal said that his wife isn't staying away from the mall. He said that would be like trying to keep Jason from food.
Gary said that Gange does the notes on the Miss Howard TV girls all the time so he sticks around all the time when they're in the studio. Gary said that he told Joe to get rid of Gange and Gange knew that's what they were doing to him. Gange said that he knew it was going on when Gary started asking weird and stuff.
Jon asked Gange why he can't ask this girl out. Gange said that he tires to be as professional as possible. Gary told him not to worry about that, it's the Howard Stern Show.
Gange said that he has to deal with the girls over time and he doesn't want to screw things up. He has to be the liaison between the girls.
Gary asked Gange if he used to have sex with the interns. Gange said that he did but only after they were done with their internships. He said he never hooked up with any while they were working there.
Gary said that Gange isn't looking for a relationship but they both like sex so what are they waiting for. Gange said that they may hang out together one night but he knows that she's not looking for a relationship. Benjy asked if he would fool around with her if she wanted to do that tonight. Gange said that he would if it was slam dunk. Gange said that it wouldn't be very professional but he'd do it if she was that into him.
Jon said it sounded like she was interested in him. Gange said he'll have to see what happens today. He said he has to wait until June to take her out to Vegas too so that will seem like a long time.
Sal said that he's never seen anyone act around a girl the way Gange was acting with her last week. Gange had a monitor set up just so he could watch this girl. Gange said that they had to do that shoot last week and he was there to do the shoot. Gary said he doesn't think that Gange would have done the shoot if it was some fat, old lady that he was shooting. Gange said that he would have done the same thing if he was another person. Gary didn't think that he was being truthful with himself.
A caller was telling Gange that he's a fat bastard idiot and he should stop with all of this stuff. Gange said that they just did a Webcast that they're going to have up on Howard.tv earlier and they'll be doing the Miss Howard TV shoot later today too. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show saying that he got an autographed copy of Artie's book this morning. He said that his accountant asked for a copy for his nephew so he got it for him. Howard said that when he's given a task to do he does it and makes sure he doesn't forget. Howard said he's so neurotic.
Artie said that SIRIUS has the best worker in the world with Howard. Robin asked if they would even notice that they weren't there if they didn't show up for work. Howard said the listeners would squeal on them.
Robin said that the fans squealed on her yesterday when she mentioned the plastic on the furniture. She said that she heard from that friend who told her to go have dinner at someone else's home on Easter from now on. Robin said her drier told her that he has plastic on his furniture too so she had to hear about that. Robin said he has white chairs and he doesn't want anything getting spilled on them.
Howard asked if these people understand the concept of getting another color. Robin said they don't get that and they just want to keep that stuff until it's old and they need to throw it out.
Artie said that it seems like those people have a sense of humor. Robin said that it was actually Captain G whose house she was at. She said that they told her that she could have mentioned his lovely wife during that conversation.
Howard said he doesn't get why they would do that plastic thing. Artie said that it really doesn't make sense. Robin said that the rest of their house isn't wrapped in plastic, it's just those chairs in the dining room.
Artie said that he's had that kind of thing stuck in his penis and he knows what that's going to be like. Artie said he was all drugged up after his suicide attempt. That thing in his penis woke him up out of that stupor he was in.
Artie said that everything is a blur for him except for that moment when they stuck something in his cock. Howard asked if it was worse when they put it in or took it out. Artie said that it was bad both ways. Artie said that he was pissing blood after they took it out too.
Gary said that his cousin was in the hospital years ago and he heard that it was the most painful thing ever when they did that. He said the guy asked to be hit over the head with a hammer before she pulled it out.
Artie told Gary he hopes the ultrasound works for him. Gary said that's happening this weekend. Howard said that they might take extra care with Gary.
Howard said that he told Gary to cut out all of the food that might be causing the kidney stones. Robin said that he eats too many sweets and that could be causing stuff like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he keeps plastic on his furniture just in case something happens. Howard told him to live dangerously and maybe use his couch the way it's supposed to be used.
Robin said her driver asked if her if she puts a cover on her car. She said she does but not when she's using it.
A caller said that his aunt does the plastic stuff in her house and she's been doing that for like 20 years. He said he gets stuck on that shit when he sits on it in the warm weather.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that it's not a big deal to get the kidney stone thing done. He had a bladder problem and the scope is an intimidating thing. He said that they squirt the numbing gel in the hole first and then put that thing in there. He said it's really not that bad. He said he's not sure how bad the kidney will be but it wasn't so bad with the bladder.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he saw Kathy Griffin in a magazine in a bikini. Howard said he saw that and he's glad this guy brought that up. Howard said that she looks good but she shouldn't be showing it off in a bikini. Howard said that she looks very nice but she's not Heidi Klum. He said that she's out of her league there.
Howard said he's in the same boat and wouldn't want to be seen in a bathing suit even though he thinks he's in pretty good shape. Artie said that maybe she's trying to be ironic or something but he's really not sure.
Howard said that Kathy is an older woman and no one really needs to see that. Artie said that he's 41 and Kathy has to be a couple of years older than him.
Howard said that no one is older than him these days. He seems to be the oldest one around. Artie said that when he was about 23 he was betting on the NCAA tournament and he was betting on guys who were all younger than him. He said that now it makes him feel like a loser. Howard was shocked that he felt like a loser. He said he always thought he was such a winner. Artie said that Rolling Stone said that he was the country's biggest loser as a headline.
Robin asked the guys if they've gotten pulled over lately because the cops all look like kids with peach fuzz on their faces. Howard asked Robin when she got pulled over. She said she hadn't but then she said that she did get pulled over for speeding but she got out of it because the guy recognized her.
Howard said that Jay Leno told a pretty funny joke in the GQ article he mentioned yesterday. He told the joke about this kid who had sex with his teacher and then tells his father about it. The father takes him out for a new bicycle and gets the bike. The kid gets the bike that he's been dreaming about. Then the father asks the kid if he liked the bicycle and the kid says ''No, my asshole still hurts from having sex with the teacher.''
Robin said that was an old joke and she saw that coming. Artie said that was an old one. Howard said that Jay knew it was an old one in the article and said that it was a hackie joke.
Howard said he was calling his home phone number to get his Wildfire answering service. He said that he got the dial tone saying that it wasn't going through. Howard thought he dialed wrong or something so he had to call in 50 more times.
Howard said that he couldn't believe that the phone was letting him down and he had to borrow Ronnie's phone to get through.
The guys talked about their phones and the various problems they have. Robin said that she had Verizon before and it was fine but she switched to get the Bold like Howard has. Howard said that he can't even use the phone to hang up on the Wildfire service with his phone.
Howard said he has to give AT&T a -95 score on their service. Howard said that Blackberry chose AT&T and it was just wrong.
Robin said that she doesn't have that kind of problem with her phone. Fred said he's heard that it is bad in the city. Howard said that it's really bad in Manhattan.
Howard said he has to get a second phone just to make calls. He said that he went back to the Treo because of that in the past when he tried the Blackberry. Howard said that everything on the Blackberry is great except for the phone part and that's a major faux paux.
Howard said that AT&T is shit and he thinks that Blackberry should do something about them. Howard said he can't believe that they put up with that.
A caller told Howard he's a truck driver and he has the same problem all over the country. Howard said that he would never give up his Blackberry but he has to carry around a second phone just to make phone calls. Artie said that Blackberry must hear that and they must want to get it fixed.
Howard said he's looking into getting a different service with the phone so he can get better coverage. Robin said that she doesn't have that issue. Howard said he almost threw his phone right out the window yesterday. He said that they have all of that technology and he can't even make a phone call.
Howard said that if you need to get a hold of him, just use smoke signals. King of all Blacks called in and told Howard not to blame the phone, it's the service. Howard said that it's also the phone. King said that he went out and got a Bold just like Howard has and he hears that from a lot of people.
Robin said that the iPhone is only available with AT&T too so that should piss people off too. King asked Howard why he switched services with the Bold. Howard said that you can only get the Bold with AT&T. King didn't know that was the case.
Jon Hein came in and said that Verizon is the better service in the area. He said that the iPhone is locked into AT&T for years and they can't get on Verizon. Jon said that they took over Cingular and they just don't have very good coverage. Jon said he won't get an iPhone because they're on AT&T but he would get one if they were on Verizon.
King got in a plug for his daughter for Parents magazine on page 186 in the April issue. King said that they used her as a model and they paid her $2,000. Howard asked if they did that because of her straight hair. King said they like her curly afro hair. King said that it's not ''too black looking'' but it's curly enough that they liked it for this magazine.
Howard said he used to think that King was crazy but he might be right about marrying the Puerto Rican chick to have cute kids.
Howard had a guy on the phone who said that he had the magazine. When he picked up the guy was making jerking off sounds. Artie said he thinks he recognized that voice. It sounded a little like Sal and he was a little too into that jerking off sound.
Howard said that he used to be able to call people on his Sprint phone from the gym but now he can't even do that with his Blackberry.
Artie said that the Verizon service is really impressive. He didn't know how great it was but the commercials are right. They really do have great coverage.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has no problem with his AT&T coverage. Howard said that there are some areas that just aren't covered very well. Howard said that if you have the iPhone or something like that, why would you stick with one service like AT&T.
Jon said that he thinks that AT&T made a sweet deal with Apple for the iPhone. He said that the phone is a great phone but if you can't use it then it's useless. Jon said that the Bold is a better phone than the Curve but if you can't make calls on it then it's not that great.
Howard said that he can get his home TV on his Blackberry but he can't even make a call on it. Artie said that people are just texting these days and they have no problem doing that.
Howard played the call and it started off with the host of Tradio doing an intro in that announcer-like voice. Howard stopped it and goofed on the guy for a short time talking about how goofy radio guys can be with that kind of voice.
Howard replayed the opening of the call and let it play through. That's when the guys used audio of the guy's voice to tell him to turn down his radio. It was the announcer's own voice and he didn't recognize it. Howard started the call over again and let it play through again.
In the call the guy reads through some e-mail about things people have for sale. He had one from ''Rusty'' about some tube steak he had for sale. That's where he read the Nick Gerz name too. There was also a Peter North reference in there. Then the guys call back in with more audio clips of the announcer's voice to make another prank call.
Howard wondered why he said ''Nick Gertz'' in the call instead of Gerz. Artie seemed to like the call and said that it was a good concept. Richard said that the guy read it wrong because he had written that it was a tube steak filet-sheo.
Artie asked the guys if they heard what Richard was talking about on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Howard said he didn't hear it. Artie said that Richard was saying that on the football team they had to take the mouth pieces and dip them in the toilet after all of the seniors had pissed in it. Richard said he never had to do that but he knows people who did.
Howard said he got an email from a guy who was saying that Richard's arm may be infected and he should get it checked out. The guy said that Richard has to get that treated if he does have an infection. Robin asked if he has puss around that infection. Richard said that he doesn't now but it did before. Robin said she doesn't want to have her skin fall off because of him. Richard said that he's not touching anyone. The guys told him that he has to get it checked out because he's touching stuff around the studio.
Howard said that they should have Dr. Jules come in and check it out. He's the guy who checked out Jeff the Drunk's ass. Richard said that he doesn't catch these things on purpose. Howard said he knows that but he has to have them taken care of. Robin said that Richard should just be put down. She said that he's dangerous to everyone else.
Howard said that Jason is almost like a monster when you hear that clip. The kids were yanking hairs out of his back and chest and taunting him.
The caller on the line asked Howard if he had seen May's Playboy. Howard said that he didn't have it. Lisa Rinna was in it. Howard got a copy a few seconds later. He said that Lisa is going to be calling in today to promote that issue.
The caller told Howard to check out page 82. Howard said that the plastic surgery is ridiculous though. He said that she has to take it down a notch with the giant lips. Artie said that she was looking hot. Artie said he'd fuck her.
Howard said that Lisa does look good but she had a little too much bush for him. Howard said her body is really nice though.
Howard said that they had Dr. Jules on the phone. He told the guy that he might have to look at Richard's arm. Dr. Jules said that every day they have something to talk about now. He said that Richard could have this MRSA that the emailer mentioned earlier. The guy said that he'll come down and check it out if they want. Howard said that he would like him to do that. Howard told Richard to quarantine himself in the meantime. Howard said that he would like him to cover that up too so he doesn't spread anything around.
Richard said that he has had tiny ticks on him before and he can always tell that it's a tick. Howard said he couldn't tell with the thing he had on his balls.
Howard took a call from a guy who gave him an F, Marry Kill for Smallville. He gave him Chloe, Lana and Lois as the three. Howard said he'd kill Chloe, Marry Lana and fuck Lois. Howard said that was a pretty easy one. That led to the guys goofing on the caller for being kind of nerdy. Howard and Artie did their Gamorrean guard impressions and Howard had a new way of doing it with his hood over his head. Howard said that's his new impression.
Howard said that they'll probably get that impression on Howard TV at some point. Artie said that Howard is a good host for answering that nerdy question.
Howard had the Gamorrean guard prank call that the guys made to a guy who was selling some stuff. Sal was doing the Gamorrean guard impression and the guy didn't understand what he was saying so he had to put his ''wife'' Richard on the phone. He was also doing the Gamorrean guard impression. Howard played a quick Tradio clip and ended up talking about that for a short time.
Benjy found a picture of the chick and he thought she was cute. Howard said she looks like a dude. Howard said that she's okay but not as hot as he imagined she was going to be. Howard said Artie was right that she sings too good to be super hot. He said that she's probably been pissed on by a few guys.
Howard said that he was reading about how Vince Neil helped write ''Home Sweet Home'' with Tommy Lee and now they're playing it on American Idol so he's getting a big check every time they use it on the show. Carrie Underwood remade it so they use it on the show. Howard said that Vince Neil is all happy about American Idol now that he's making some money off of it.
Howard played Carrie's version of the song. Robin said that the song really sucks with her singing it. Howard let it play through a little bit but cut it off before it was over.
Howard said that someone wrote a song parody about Lisa G. Howard played that. It was ''Shits at Work'' to the tune of ''Come Together.''
Howard said that Bree Olson is going to be coming in today and she had some issue with Bubba the Love Sponge. She was supposed to give a hand job to a blind guy but then she found out that the guy wasn't really blind and she started to cry and ended up leaving the show. Howard said that she would probably give anyone a hand job because she has actually done that for a cab driver before. He said that she's probably up for just about anything.
Howard said he was on Bree's web site last night and he was watching some of the crazy stuff she does. He said that she was banging black guys, white guys and all kinds of stuff. Robin asked if he's scared about something like that. Howard said that doesn't bother him that she was with black guys. He said he's been with girls who have been with black guys before.
Howard said that the girl they had in there yesterday had done threesomes and stuff and he's not sure he could deal with a chick like that. He said he might be afraid of someone like that. Howard said that you do fantasize about girls like that though. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Sheryl performed at that concert he went to but he didn't get to see her perform. Howard said that he's pretty sure that Sheryl thinks that he's a big joke or something. He said that he thinks he confuses her and she's not sure if she soul take him seriously. She may not understand him according to Fred.
Robin said that they may be underestimating her. Robin said that she dated that bicycle rider. She said that she can't think that Howard is a joke if she dated a guy who rode a bike. Howard said he gets how she could get caught up in that though.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. Lisa said she spoke to a doctor who taught Transcendental Meditation to Howard Stern back in 1978. She said that his name is Dr. Craig Berg. Howard didn't remember the guy. Howard said he didn't learn it where she said he did. Howard said that there are a lot of people who think they knew him and he's never met them. Howard said that he doesn't remember who taught him but he didn't learn it where Lisa was saying.
Howard said that there are people who have written unauthorized bios about him and they call people who don't really know him.
Lisa said that this Dr. Berg is now a teacher and they call him in to calm students down. Lisa mentioned that the TM thing may have saved Howard's mother's life. That led to Howard doing his mother's voice and talking about how awful her childhood was. He went on and on with the stories she had from her childhood.
Howard said that he asked his mother if anything good happened in her childhood. She would just go on about how awful her father was. Howard said he would hear these stories and they'd just go on and on. Howard said he has such sadness in him from his mother. He said that everything he looks at is sad and he can't look at the world as a safe place. Robin said that it's not a safe place.
Robin told Howard that Beth has brought him some happiness. Howard said that she does do that for him. Especially when she's laying there naked.
Howard did some more of his mother's voice and told some more awful stories from her life. Howard said his father would come home and out do her with his stories. He did that impression and told some of those stories. Howard said his father would tell his stories very matter of fact like. He'd fill them in on the deaths in the family and things like that as if they were no big deal.
Howard said he would ask his dad if he was saddened by that stuff and he'd just say ''these things happen.'' Howard said that by the time he was 5 years old, he was miserable from all of that. Howard said that his parents had two miserable children.
Howard said his mother used to complain about people carrying pictures of their children around in their wallets. Howard said that they would say that they didn't brag about that kind of thing. Howard said maybe they would have liked to have seen their own kids in their wallets. Howard doesn't see any joy in this world.
Lisa asked Howard when he first saw joy in his life. Howard said it was his sweet Beth but Robin said that it had to be his kids. Howard said that they were great too. Howard said he has a very warped view of everything. He thinks that his kids should feel bad for him.
Howard said he thought it was the right thing to tell the kids the awful stories. Then he went to therapy to be a better parent and figured that wasn't the right thing to do. Howard said he figured out that it was best to tell them positive stuff instead. He said therapy made him a better parent.
Howard did his mother's voice again and told some more stories. He told stories of his own childhood as if he were telling them to his kids but in his mother's voice. Howard did that for a few minutes and made up some stories as well. Howard said he's sorting all of this stuff out and he may have it done in 20 years or so.
Lisa said that she spoke to a doctor about Gary's kidney stone. She said that she learned about how they may go in and try to grasp the stone if the ultrasound doesn't work. She said the doctor suggested that Gary have his blood checked to find out if he has too much calcium. Howard said that Gary doesn't eat well and doesn't exercise so he's not doing the right thing.
Lisa G said that John the Stutterer has to move back in with his parents because of his rent going up. Lisa said that John's sense of independence is all gone now that he has to move back.
Howard said he heard that Crackhead Bob may have moved back too. Lisa didn't know that. Howard told her to look into that.
Howard had some clips from Bubba the Love Sponge's show where Bree got tricked and ended up leaving the show. In the clip Bree was screaming at someone about the tape that they had of her crying. She was screaming at the guys and she insisted that they take the tape out. Howard said that Bree is one tough broad. He said that she's even done jail time. Howard said that he learned all about her since she said that she loves him.
Howard also had some audio of Gary interviewing Bree at the AVN awards. She was talking about how much she loves Howard and how she wanted to marry him. She was also talking about some of the stuff she's done in her porn movies.
Howard played a scene from one of Bree's movies and said that he loves the way she sounds in her movies. In the clip she was telling the guy to hold her down and make her take it. Howard said that no one has ever said that to him. He said he'd love to have someone say that to him. Howard said that's actually what he sounds like when he's having sex. He tells the woman to hold him down and make him take it.
Howard played a clip from ''Cock Craving Cuties'' where Bree was getting slammed. Howard said that she's really cute too.
Howard had the guys bring in Bree after that. He told her that he should have had sex with her before he married Beth. Howard told her that she looked really good today. He found out that her boobs were real.
Howard said he heard the Bubba tape and asked if she's done with that show. Bree said that she forgives and forgets. She said that they came over to an appearance that she made the day after and she said that she was fine and she apologized for what she did. She said that was the end of it.
Howard said that Bree had gone on the show to give some blind guy a hand job and then she figured he wasn't blind and she got upset and things fell apart. Bree said that even during the breaks they wouldn't tell her the truth and they kept following her on camera as she was crying. She said they kept filming her even though she walked a mile away from their studio.
Howard said they have pictures of Bree on HowardStern.com this morning. Howard said that she must be fun in bed. He said that he imagines her being dirty like that in real life. She said that she does have to hold back a little bit in real life but it turns her on when she talks dirty like she does in the movies.
Howard asked Bree about going to jail when she was 13. She said that she was in there with 18 and 22 year olds in there. She said that she was a repeat offender with stupid things like stealing cigarettes and stuff. She said that she went in like 10 times into court and the judge finally sent her away.
Bree said she's not sure what they were doing when she was getting into trouble. They were just doing stupid things back then.
Howard asked Bree if any of the guards came on to her. She said that they would have gotten into so much trouble if they had done anything.
Bree said that there were always fights going on in jail. She said that she even got into fights over girls in there and her sentences were extended because of the fights. She said that she was in for 3 years. Howard sounded shocked when he heard that. She was only supposed to get 9 months but it was extended because of the trouble she got into.
Bree said that 23 hours a day they were supposed to keep their mouth's shut. She said that was very tough and they'd add 2 weeks for every offense. Bree said that she was using all kinds of things to masturbate in jail too.
Howard asked if there were any other porn stars in there with her. Bree said there were none that she knows of. Bree said that she was there so long that there were girls coming and going all the time.
Bree said that she did have sex with some of the prisoners. She said that they had to be super sneaky about it though. She said that she got caught twice doing stuff so her sentence was extended for that.
Bree said that she kept a girlfriend after getting out of jail for a while. She said that she liked having that kind of relationship.
Howard asked if they did strip searches on her when she went in. She said that they did do that. She said that one of the guards had to be fired because she was having a sexual relationship with one of the girls.
Howard asked Bree what she was wearing when she was shackled up. She said that they had their prison outfits. Howard asked if she got pissed at her parents when she got out of prison. She said she did have a lot of anger but she went through counseling and she came out a better person.
Howard told Bree she should do a prison movie. He said he'd buy that. He told her to make it really accurate and very graphic. He said that would be fantastic.
Howard said that Bree is the new Adam And Eve star. He said that she has to do all of her movies for them. Bree said she has her web site BreeOlson.com as well.
Howard asked Bree about some of the movies she's done lately. They spent a short time on that. Bree also talked about a cab driver she was with one time. She said that she still masturbates to the thought of that one guy to this day. Bree said that she's really not that promiscuous. She said that the guys she's with are guys that she meets out on the road. She doesn't get laid that much and she has to masturbate a lot.
Bree said that she just does guys like one time and doesn't give them her real name or her phone number or anything. She said that she didn't give the cab driver her real name because she had no desire to see him again.
Bree told Howard about how she gets off on doing guys that are strangers to her. Howard said that he's not sure he could be in a relationship with someone like Bree. He said that she's too hard core and he's not sure that he could be with someone like that. Bree said she'd be fine if she was in a relationship. She said that she just needs to get laid a few times a week and she'd be fine.
Howard asked to see Bree's panties. She wasn't wearing any but she flashed Howard anyway. Howard told her to show Artie her ass. She did that too. Howard said that Robin never does that when he asks her to do it. Bree said that Robin is such a lady.
Howard said that Bree is a very special girl. He said he's always said that. Howard said that he heard that Bree shot a film that the web guy wouldn't even put on her web site. Bree said that she loves to be tied up and slapped around and stuff and she's very submissive. Howard said he's not sure he could do that to her. He said he'd be afraid of getting out of control. Bree said that this guy just tore the shit out of her after she told him not to hold back. Bree said that this guy took her head and slammed it into the toilet, pulled her hair back, slapped her all over and gave her anal. She said that he was face fucking her and doing all kinds of things. She said that she told the guy to keep going no matter what and that's what he did. She said that she was actually crying during the scene. Bree said that it was the craziest thing that she had ever done and she's not sure she could go that hard core again.
Bree said she showed the webmaster what she had done and the guy didn't want to put it up. He told her to bury it six feet under and never show it. Bree said that she can keep it for her private collection. Howard told her to put it up on the site and he'll watch it.
Howard asked if she did a scene for Beetlejuice. She said that she did a birthday thing for him but it wasn't a sex scene. Gary said he heard that she may not have done a sex scene but Beetlejuice and Dominic the dwarf did suck on her tits.
Howard said that Bree's new movie ''Bree's Big Camp Out'' is out now. Bree said that you can get a discount if you use the term ''Hey now'' in the coupon box.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Bree if she likes to get spanked. The caller wanted Howard to do it but he's not allowed to do that now. Howard said that it's not that he's not allowed to do it, he just wouldn't want to screw things up with Beth.
Artie volunteered to do the spanking. Bree said that she would do it for a plug so Howard told Artie to go for it. Bree said that she was excited already just thinking about it. She said that she would do all of the talking during the spanking.
Artie went over and started to spank her. Artie hit both checks and really whacked her hard. Bree asked if he was back handing her or something. She said that she was digging it and told him to keep going for it. She said that Artie's spank is very unique. Howard told him it was enough after a few more hits. Bree said she could take that all day long. Artie said that her ass was turning red. Then he asked if he could try the tit sucking. Bree said ''Oh goodness...''
Howard gave Bree some more plugs and then took another phone call. The caller said that the prison talk was a little creepy because she was only 13 at the time. Howard said he was thinking of her as she is now when he was talking about that. He wasn't fantasizing about her being 13.
Another caller asked Bree if she would like to be a FOX news reporter. Bree said that she's love to do something like that. The caller thought she was very well spoken. Bree said that she was actually pre-med at one point but she hasn't gone back to finish that up. Howard figured she never will.
Another caller asked Bree to go on the Sybian. She said that she would do it but she wasn't sure how long it would take her to finish because she just masturbated last night. Howard said that maybe they'll do that then.
A caller asked Bree about this stalker guy that she has. She said that she has been filing restraining orders and stuff against that guy. She said that she doesn't even want to bring him up on the air. She said that it's dangerous and she's trying to take all of the legal precautions that she can to make sure that she's okay. She has a gun now because she has to protect herself living alone.
The caller was saying that Bree has a picture of herself holding the gun on her Myspace account. Another caller said that he only buys her porn and he hopes that she will be coming through the Philly area stopping at the strip clubs down there. She said that she will be down there soon.
Howard had Bree get on the Sybian. The guys asked her to remove her dress. Howard said he didn't want her to ruin the dress so he asked her to take it off. Gary was wearing his mask and Howard told Bree that Gary had to wear it so his face wouldn't distract the fans when they watch it on TV.
Howard had Gary bring Bree up to 50 percent at first. Bree got in a plug in the middle of that. Howard had Richie Wilson spanking her in the middle of it to help get her off. Bree told Howard that she was going to come for him. She told him to put his cock inside her as she was finishing. Gary had turned up the power to just about 100 percent right before she finished.
Everyone applauded her performance. Howard said that she was shaking at the end. She was still shaking after she finished. Howard thanked her for that. Bree got in some more plugs for her web site and VoteBree.com, and theey wnet to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he had a clip of Beyonce singing on The Today Show. They had a feed from the board where she sounded awful. Howard said that she was way off key in the clip. He played it and it was awful sounding. Howard laughed as soon as he heard her start to sing. She must have been singing along to a pre-recorded track. She was singing really high and Fred was throwing in some dog howling clips while she was screeching out her lines.
Howard said that she was apparently having a hard time singing along to her own song. He said that it's all over the internet right now. He figured that she probably wants to strangle the guy who put it out there. Howard said that happened with Enrique Iglacias one time and he had to come on the show to prove that he can sing. Howard said he's not sure why these people can't just sing a song. Fred said they're worried about the sound quality and don't have time for sound checks these days so they just do the lip sync.
Howard played the Enrique Iglacias clip and then replayed the Beyonce clip again. Howard said he thinks that she's hotter now that he's heard that she can't sing. He said that might be what took Jay-Z so long to marry her. He figured she can't sing.
Fred said that she may not be able to hear her own voice so that's why she's so off in that clip. Howard played more of it and just laughed.
Howard said he had a ton of things to play today. He said that Lisa Rinna is supposed to be calling in too. Howard said that Paris Hilton has a new saying that she's using now. She's saying ''That's huge'' or just ''Huge.'' She was on some show talking about this new saying and telling the hosts how to say it the right way. Howard told Fred that he should pull those Paris clips to use on the show.
Howard had some song parodies about Robin to play. He had one from Tony Daniels where he sings about licking her sweet behind and things like that. He had a few more from this guy Little Mikey who has been sending in a lot. He had a few about whacking off to Robin to a bunch of various songs.
Howard said he had a clip of Jenny McCarthy talking about her hyperbaric oxygen chamber on Ellen Degeneres' show. Howard said Jenny hooking up with Jim Carrey was the best move she's ever made. Howard figured that her time with him is limited though and he'll break up with her in no more than a year. Howard said that she'll have to come back on this show if that happens. He said that she stopped coming on the show when they started dating.
Howard played the clip of Jenny talking about the hyperbaric chamber she has. Ellen couldn't just say what she wanted to talk to her about, she was just hinting at what she wanted her to talk about. Howard said that's so weird and talk shows are fucked up.
Jenny was talking about how the Hyperbaric chamber can help cure cancer and things like that. Howard said she was also talking about how Jim is trying to gain 50 pounds so he can play Curly in the Three Stooges movie he's going to be in. They're also going to have Benicio DelToro playing the part of Mo. Howard said that the guy is a terrific actor but he's not sure why he would get involved in something like that.
Artie said that the guy goes down to Miami for 3 days a week and then spends the rest of the time up there in New York City.
Howard asked him why he spends his time down there and doesn't start a practice there. He said he doesn't work there so that's the nice thing about going to visit.
Robin asked Dr. Jules why he doesn't go out with Lisa G. Dr. Jules is a dermatologist and he said that he could help Lisa out with her skin.
Artie said that he and Dr. Jules went out on a boat one day down in Miami and he was showing him the $10 million boats out there on the water.
Howard asked Dr. Jules if he would date a patient if she was hot. He said that he wouldn't do that, it's not a professional thing to do.
Howard asked Dr. Jules what he thought about Richard's arm. Dr. Jules said it looks bad but not as bad as he thought it was going to be. He told Richard that he should be on antibiotics because it could spread and he really should get some treatment. Dr. Jules said he won't even touch him without gloves. He said that he really needs to have better hygiene, not even for himself but for everyone else there.
Dr. Jules said that Richard has to wash his hands and keep that wound covered up. He said that the best thing to do is to culture that wound but there is no pus there to analyze. He said it could be this MRSA that they were talking about earlier. Howard thanked him for coming in and let him go a short time later.
Howard said that the doctor has to take it easy with that stuff. He figured it was silicone but it was actually cortisone according to Lisa. Lisa told Howard that she appreciates that Howard is willing to tell her that stuff because no one else will.
Howard said that Lisa has credited him with helping open up her sex life in this book she wrote. That led to Lisa talking about how girls are never taught how to give hand jobs so she went to this class and her whole sex life changed. She said that this woman Lou Paget holds these classes and she had no idea about half the stuff she taught. She said that the woman learned from a gay man who was dying of AIDS. She said that there is no better man to learn from than a gay man.
Lisa said that her husband was rocked when she learned all of this stuff. She said that she was taught a bunch of stuff that really made a difference in their sex life. She said that they teach you on a dildo and it's really amazing. Howard said he would love for Beth to take a class like that.
Lisa said that the basket is the one that Harry likes the best. She said that you put one hand on top of the other as you grab the penis and that's the basket. Howard said you can't do that with his penis, it's too small. She said that you go up and down and both hands twist and go over the head of the penis and down.
Howard asked if you can do that without lube. Lisa said that you need lube. Howard said he can jerk off without lube. Lisa said that she does use a little lotion on her hands.
Howard said that Lisa has done another Playboy layout and she looks great for 45. Howard said he didn't even have the magazine, he just had copies of the pictures. Lisa said that she will get him a copy.
Lisa said that they wanted her soft and feminine for the shoot but she ended up dieting a bit. Howard told her that her bush was too big. He told her to trim it down a bit. Lisa said that Harry likes it. Howard said he would like it better if she took it down a notch. Robin said that not every guy likes the same thing. Howard said that Harry would like it.
Howard said that Lisa got fired from her TV Guide channel show and he thinks that she didn't follow through with his advice. Howard said that she didn't listen and she got fired. Howard said he's going to be sad not to see her on that channel now. He said that he liked seeing her on there.
Lisa said that she was sad for a minute but she's fine with it. Howard said that it's beneath her anyway. He said that it takes away from her as an actress. Lisa said she didn't really like doing that job anyway. She said she hated it actually.
Howard said that Lisa wrote a book, ''Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever,'' and she wrote about her plastic surgery and the things she's done over the years. Howard asked her if Harry is around. She said that Harry is out on a sleep over with their daughter.
Howard asked Lisa what she was wearing and asked her to take off her bottoms. She said she was going to but Howard knew that she wasn't doing it.
Gary said that someone keeps e-mailing him to tell him that she had a Teflon lip implant. Lisa said that she had a silicone implant but not a Teflon. She said that she wrote about that in the book.
Howard asked Lisa about being friends with Cindy Crawford. She said that they actually took a stripper class together and they did the sex class too so she knows how to give a great blow job. Howard asked if they get naked in the stripper class. She said that they aren't naked but you can be. She said that they actually give each other lap dances and stuff in that class.
Lisa said that she and Cindy have been naked together. She said that they took a class at Cindy's house and they did get topless. Howard asked if she looked amazing. Lisa said of course she did. Howard asked if she ever wants to kiss her. Lisa said she's not into that kind of thing.
Howard asked Lisa if Cindy ever touched her breasts. Lisa said that she didn't touch hers and she didn't touch Cindy's either. Howard said that would be really hot if they got together. Lisa said that she's never done a girl and she swears to god that she never did.
Howard told Lisa he wants her to teach Beth about the blow jobs and stuff. He said that would be really nice. Lisa said that she would do it if Beth read the book first.
Lisa talked about the way she got back into her life after having the kids. She said she took the stripper class, the sex class and more. Now she wants to know what to do next. Howard told her to do a reality show. She said that she is going to be doing that. Howard told her to have all of her nudnik friends on there and not hold back anything. He said they should even show her giving Harry the basket job.
Howard said that the book is called ''Rinnavation'' and he doesn't think that he would have called it something like that. Howard said that the book is out May 19th. Howard gave her a few plugs for that and the Playboy thing.
Howard said that he didn't know that Lisa's mother lived after being attacked by a serial killer. Howard said that's pretty startling. Lisa said that it was very sad and there was a lot of fear there in her life. She said her mother was very open about the whole thing.
Lisa said that she went through a period of paranoia and she has been overly aware all of her life because of that. She said that may have saved her life for all she knows.
Howard asked Lisa about some of her dieting advice since her book does have that kind of stuff in it as well. Lisa told them about some goat's milk thing she did and how that was supposed to clean her aura out. She got Harry to do it and he ended up getting pneumonia from it.
Howard said that he had a friend who got into the psychic thing and now the guy is cut off from all of his friends because of it. Howard said that the psychics are ruining people. Howard said that they don't have any powers and they just ruin people's lives. Lisa said that she likes to believe in stuff like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he loves the bush on Lisa. Howard said the guy is lying. The guy went on to ask Lisa if she likes to lick Harry's ass. She said that's not her favorite thing to do but she will do it. Howard said that's so hot that she's willing to do it. He said that's going the extra mile for her husband. Lisa said that she would do anything for her husband. Howard said he's never had anyone do that for him. He's not sure he'd like it though. Robin said that she was with a guy who started kissing her ass and she kind of liked that.
Another caller said he got Playboy yesterday and Lisa looks fantastic. He said that her belly button looks fantastic in there. Howard said that she does look hot with that flat stomach. He said that she has been able to hold it together and she's doing a great job so far. He asked her when she's going to fall apart. Lisa said that her mother looks great at 80 so she might look good too.
Howard heard that Lisa was going around begging for a spot on the new Melrose Place. Howard figures it's going to suck. Lisa said that was just something stupid she was doing. She knows that it's not going to make it. Lisa said that they have to find something else for her to do. Howard said they can do a new TV show called ''The Basket.'' Howard gave Lisa some more plugs for her book and DVD (Lisa Rinna: Dance Body Beautiful - Ballroom Body Blast) and wrapped up with her a short time later.
After letting Lisa go the guys spent a little more time talking about what she was talking about. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that when Joe Walsh does that song it's so much better. Howard said that Joe has so much feeling when he sings things. He said that he does it better than The Eagles do. Howard said they know he does it better too.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. Steve said they have a story about Captain Janks being ordered to pay off a bar for the money he took for an appearance he never made. Steve said that Janks apparently jumped into a car and took off right after court.
Artie said that he's been thinking about doing a special show for Captain Janks to raise some money for him. Howard said that Janks has been a good friend of the show over the years and he has been loyal all for the love of the show. He said that if Janks got some money and paid off the people he owes money to, maybe he would get back on track. Robin said that they have to question where the money goes. Howard said it should go to the people that Janks took money from.
Artie said that he would do that for Janks. Howard said that Janks might get a job and get back on track. Gary said that he didn't think that they should do that for him. He said that something is bothering him about Janks and he has missed some of these shows knowingly. Gary doesn't think that Howard would be so for it if it was someone else other than Janks.
Gary asked Howard if High Pitch Eric would deserve something like that. Howard said he would approve of that too. He said that Eric has contributed to the show over the years as well.
Artie said that Janks has an addiction and that might have a lot to do with why he's missing this stuff. He said that it could be an illness he has and he'd just be helping the guy out.
Howard said that he has a problem with High Pitch Eric. He said that Eric doesn't have an addiction, he just takes from people and doesn't seem intelligent enough to stop doing it. Gary said that he's smart enough to stop doing some things but not everything like that. Gary said there's a very fine line with Eric.
Gary was also saying ''no'' because he thought the money would be going to Janks directly and not to the people that he ripped off.
Artie said that they would give him one shot and do just the one show so they can get people off his back. That would give Janks a clean slate and allow him to maybe change his life. Howard said it would be great if Artie planned the show for Janks and then didn't show up. Artie said that maybe he'll do the show then. He said he doesn't mind giving up a weekend to do a show like that.
Steve said that Howard got some press at Harvard for being a huge contributor to radio over the years. Steve was referring to some Podcast that he was mentioned in. Steve said they have a campaign out there to name a baby giraffe ''Howard Stern'' in North Carolina. One of the contest sponsors is Clear Channel radio so that may never happen.
Steve said that they have a story about Ed Torian getting some praise in a new book that just came out. They call Ed an extraordinary man in the book. That led to Artie doing his impression of Ed asking his questions.
Jon Hein came in next with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down his list of subjects they'd try to cover today.
Howard read some e-mail he got from some fans who think that he and Robin love Barack Obama too much and they would love him even if he molested young boys. Howard said that he's backing this country and he just wants to see us doing well. Howard said that he will be for Obama even if he does shake the hand of Hugo Chavez. Howard said that shows strength to him. He said that the guy is showing that we're not afraid of Chavez.
Robin read that Jerry O'Connell is being Mr. Mom these days with the twins. Howard said that Jerry is supposed to be on the show any day now. He wondered how he's going to get away from them to come on the show. Rebecca is away shooting a movie. Howard said he saw the twins but they don't look like twins.
Robin said that Jerry has been seen out with the twins pushing the stroller around. Howard laughed and said that Rebecca is out working while he's doing that.
Robin read that Julie Chen is pregnant. Howard said he doesn't get why a guy like Les Moonves would want kids at his age. He said that he sure doesn't want to go through that again. He said he doesn't have the energy to do that. Howard said that he knows guys who have young kids at 60-some years old and it's bad. He said their wives are never as hot after the kids are born. He said that it's a known fact that nature makes women uglier after they have kids so men won't chase after them anymore.
Robin read that someone is offering Susan Boyle a porn film. Howard said he would watch that. Robin said that they're offering her a million dollars to do it. Howard said she should take it while she can. Robin said that she is still a virgin at 47 years old so maybe she should. Howard said that it's great she can sing but that's not enough to make it in the business. He said that you do have to be good looking to make it in this day and age. Howard said she should take the million and run with it.
Howard was talking about how there has to be some guy out there who would bang that Susan Boyle. He said if you can't get laid at all there has to be something really wrong with you. He said that she's got a bald spot on her head. He figured that maybe kids pulled the hair out of her back like they did to Jason in grade school.
Robin read that there have been a lot of infant deaths after parents roll over on them. Robin said that it's the worst thing to do to take your kids into bed and roll over on them. Robin said that there was a woman who was warned not to do that but she did it anyway and it killed the baby. The woman was 180 pounds. Howard said that you could just claim that you rolled over on a baby if you just wanted to kill it. He said that the doctors would never know if you just said you rolled over on it. Howard said that if you had 5 kids you'd have to do one at a time.
Robin said that there have been a lot of deaths like that over the past 4 years. Howard said that he never slept in the same bed with his kids. He said that you can't supervise a kid in bed if you're sleeping. Howard said he knows better than to do something stupid like that. Howard said he always thought Artie and Dana broke up but it turns out he just rolled over on her and they haven't heard from her since. Artie said that he actually ate her accidentally thinking she was a snack.
Robin brought up Liam Neeson and how tough it is to see him in pictures. Howard said that he feels really bad for him after he lost his wife. Howard said that it's got to be tough for him. Artie said he just saw that movie ''Taken'' and it was really good but you think about how he's about to face that horror of losing his wife in real life.
Howard ended up playing the Black Eyed Peas ''Boom Boom Pow'' song that he was playing yesterday. Artie didn't believe that it was Fergie singing in the song. Fred wasn't so sure either. He said that it did sound kind of weird. Howard ended up doing the Top 5 songs since he was on the number one song already. Jamie Foxx was in there with T.I. He also had Soldier Boy, Flo Rida and Flo Rida again at number 2. Howard said that's what Sal put up there. ''Boom Boom Pow'' was at number 1. Howard said that Lady Gaga was supposed to be number 2.
Robin read a story about Perez Hilton getting flak for his judging on the Miss USA pageant. Robin said that Hilton was to blame for the loss of the girl who answered his question about gay marriage. Howard said it was a legitimate question and it was her answer that made her lose. Robin had some audio of Perez talking about why he thought she really lost. Howard also played Miss California's answer to the question and pointed out how dumb she was for saying what she said. Robin said that Perez should have been in the pageant with the comments he was making about what her answer should have been. Howard said that you have to learn to answer in a non-controversial way when you're in a pageant like that. Howard said he heard that Miss California was really hot too. Artie said he saw her and she really is hot.
Howard said he was watching the season finale of ''Sober House'' and it really was a great show. He said that Andy Dick was a mess in there. Artie said he heard that Celebrity Apprentice had lost a lot of thunder. Fred said that Celebrity Apprentice is actually pretty good this season because they're mixing it up with Joan Rivers.
Ralph called in and said that the Miss California chick was very hot and she should have won. He said that she got the toughest question and everyone else got softball questions. Howard had some of the other contestants answering questions and they weren't able to get their thoughts out. One of the girls was just rambling nonsense when she was asked about something political. Ralph said that they should have asked Miss California about how she did her make up or something.
Robin read a story about this guy they're calling the Craigslist killer. She said that they arrested a 23 year old pre-med Boston University student in that case. Robin said that they think that he's been active for quite a while ripping people off. He usually just robs people but this one time he allegedly shot and killed a woman.
Robin said that Lindsay Lohan has been seen out drinking since she and her girlfriend broke up. Howard said it's tough to lose that great vagine. Robin said that she was seen out drinking and partying with some people in Vegas over the weekend. Robin read about Lindsay's rehabs in the past and how she's had two DUIs. Robin said that she's also been approached to take part in some new dance show.
Robin read a story about Steven Tyler signing up to be a counselor at a rock and roll fantasy camp. Robin said that he's saying that he's expecting to have a lot of fun doing it. Howard said he can't possibly be broke. He said that's what people do when they go broke. Robin said that some of the others are Todd Rundgren, Duff McKagan and a bunch of other guys.
Howard said he can imagine being a counselor at a radio camp and they could do Ted Kennedy impressions with the students. That led to Fred, Howard and Artie all doing their Kennedy impressions. Howard said that they could have Artie teaching how to do Jeff the Drunk impressions. Will could teach them how to prepare his breakfast. Jason could talk about his back hair. That led to Fred doing his impression of Jason for a minute. Artie said he loves Fred's impression of Jason.
Robin said that KFC is going to be adding grilled chicken to the menu. Howard said he's heard that it tastes very similar to the fried chicken and it's a good product. Robin said that it's rolling out this week. howard sadi he loved that fried chicken there years ago when he still ate that stuff. Robin sadi that wasn't even that great for fried chicken. Howard said that he used to buy spaghetti by the bucket in Detroit when he lived there. He said they had this little known place that had it and it was really good. He said he'd just eat it right out of the bucket. Howard said that anyhting in a bucket is good. Artie sadi that's true unless you're at Ass Napkin Ed's place.
Howard said if he was going to have a last meal it would be that bucket of spaghetti and chocolate Hagen Daas ice cream. He said he would pass on the KFC. He said that he would also like some Charleston Chews on top of the ice cream. That led to the guys talking about the last meals that people on death row get. Artie said he thinks they eat that huge meal just so the guards have to clean up their huge shits. Fred played some electrocution sounds and some shitting sounds while they talked about that.
Robin read some news about Elliot Spitzer and Governor Patterson. Howard said that poor guy can't even get any sympathy votes with his blindness. Robin said that he's not very popular right now. Howard said that he's not that happy with him but that's just based on what he's been reading about what people think of him.
Robin read some news about the 10th anniversary of the Columbine shootings. She had some audio of President Clinton talking about how he'd like people to think back and remember what happened.
Howard said he heard some rumors about Blue Iris and he's waiting for conformation on it. He said that it doesn't sound good if they're true. They're just waiting to find out if the rumors are true or not before they say what it is.
Robin read a story about Madonna still trying to adopt another child from Malawi. Robin also mentioned that Madonna fell off a horse the other day and she's blaming the paparazzi for scaring the horse. The guy she's blaming for it says he wasn't even there at the time. Howard said that the guy has to hide in the bushes for a living and that can't be fun. Robin said that the cops are saying that there was no mention of the photographer immediately following the fall.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to thank Howard for something because he's a stabbing victim. The guy said that he was a huge fan of Howard's from the time he started up in Boston. He said that his buddy stabbed him with an 11 inch knife. Howard asked why he was stabbed. The guy said they were boozing all night and they were having a good time. The guy was drinking as he spoke and said that he had two bottles of Captain Morgan and then had some wine. Howard asked why he stabbed him. The guy said that they had some kind of altercation and that led to the stabbing. Howard thanked the guy for calling in and said it's great that the show cheers him up. The guy said that he also did some coke. Howard said Artie must be salivating hearing that.
Robin got back to her news and read about Jamie Foxx's latest movie. She had some audio of him talking about that.
Robin had some audio of Idris Elba talking about a movie he's in. She had some audio of some other stars talking about their movies as well but Howard didn't last long through the clips. Robin read about the Frost Nixon movie coming out on DVD and had some audio of Ron Howard talking about that.
Robin had some news about American Idol and talked about that for a short time. Robin had some audio of Randy Jackson talking about the veto thing they have on the show this season so they can keep people on the show if they think they should stay. Robin ended her news and Howard ended the show around 10:45am.
Jon asked about Robin bringing up High Pitch Eric. Gary said he has no sympathy for Eric because he's been ripping people off and now he's paying one guy back but there are still a lot of guys who are out a lot of money because of him. Gary said that Eric can write a check for his cable, phone and all of that every month but he's not able to pay people back for other things.
Gary said that Artie has done benefits for a lot of people and there's just something that doesn't sit right with him with Janks.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she has an issue with Artie doing a benefit for Janks. She said that Janks is ripping people off and that doesn't deserve to be rewarded. Jon said that Artie was saying that he wouldn't be giving the money to Janks and he'd just want to give him that clean slate to start with. Gary said you'd think that Artie would want to see Janks and talk to him to find out how he's actually doing before you try go do something like that for him.
Jon asked Benjy if he thinks this is a good thing or not for Janks. Benjy said he wouldn't do it for Janks, but he would do it for a personal friend. Benjy said that maybe Artie feels he has to do this because it's more than Janks just trying to scam people. He said that he could have just shown up for the appearances.
Will agreed with Benjy and said that he might be out of his mind to not show up at a bar for a couple hundred bucks. Will said that Janks is a level above most Wack Packers. Gary agreed with that. He said that he is able to do stuff in his life that other's can't.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that this whole thing is a can of worms. He said that they're not going to be able to track all of these people down and pay them off. The guy said that all Janks has to do is go make those appearances. Gary said that he agrees with him on that. He said that it would take a few months to get that done but he could make things right.
Jon said the other problem is that Langford has a new story every day about the Janks thing. Gary said that he wouldn't come in if he didn't have stories every day. Will said that it is a weird line he's crossing when he brings in stories like that about people that contribute to the show.
Gary pointed out that Janks is using the show name when he's going out and ripping these places off. He said that's one problem he has with what he's doing. Will said that Janks is going to have to pay back the money and he may go to prison for what he's doing. Will said that the guy was devoted to the show for a long time and this is the way Steve is treating the guy by hitting it over the head every day.
Gary said that Shuli told him that they had more stories coming in as they were reporting on that stuff. He asked Shuli to come in and talk about that.
Another caller said that what Janks is doing is using the show name to rip people off and that's not right. He doesn't think that they should be doing the benefit for the guy. Gary said that Artie is doing that to bail out a guy who has been a member of the show for a long time and they want to help pay back the people that Janks has been taking money from. The caller was the Mets hater who calls in almost every day. He got in his Mets bashing for the day before they let him go.
Shuli came in and said that the day that Janks called the show and asked Langford to back off, he went right back out and ripped more bars off. Shuli said that he was claiming he was done with that but then he went right out and did it again.
One of the bar owners, Rocky, who was in court yesterday called in and said that it was obvious that Janks was just doing this to rip people off. He said that Janks knew full well he wasn't going to show up to his appearance and he didn't show up a couple of months later.
Rocky said that Janks was sulking in his chair and he looked like he was up to no good the whole time. Gary said that he can't read his mind though. Rocky said that his body language says a lot. Rocky also doesn't think that Artie should do the benefit show for Janks either.
Shuli said that Steve was a fan of Janks' before he was even working for Howard 100 News. Gary said that he wasn't able to avoid it anymore after so much of this was going down.
Benjy asked Rocky if Janks had any defense. Rocky said that Janks was claiming that they were just looking for publicity and that's not the case. He said that the initial reason he called Steve was to find out if they knew where Janks was because they weren't able to get in touch with him.
Gary said that Janks is welcome to call in and talk about this and give his side of the story. Jon said they hope that Rocky gets his money back and that Janks gets his problem taken care of. Gary said that these people could be paid off with just one show that Artie does if they end up doing that benefit. Janks was only taking like $200 per appearance.
Ralph called in and said that Janks doesn't deserve to be bailed out. He said that he's not sick or anything. Ralph said that it's only going to benefit Janks and he doesn't deserve to benefit from his crimes. Gary said that Janks should have to pay that money back himself to get it through to him that what he did was wrong. Gary said that Janks is being let off the hook if they don't make him pay it back himself.
Gary said that he's not going to let Janks off the hook but he will help him make things right by letting him get plugs in on the show. Gary said that he could come on and make up for the appearances he didn't make by rescheduling and actually appearing. Benjy agreed with Gary on that and he thinks that could really help Janks in the future too. Gary said that this ''Hey, I'll Pay You Back Tour'' would make him look good and he could book future gigs from it.
Another caller said that Artie should help someone like Sal who is trying to make things right instead of someone who hasn't proven that they want to make things right. She said that she thinks that Artie might be coming out of his drug haze finally and now he's starting to think clearly.
Gary said that he has a bunch of letters from fans who are looking for money from the show and they could just grab one of those if Artie wanted to do that. Shuli said that they're going to be doing a benefit for Yucko the Clown's parents since their house burned down. That's the kind of benefit they want to do.
Gary said that you fantasize about that kind of girl but then you probably wake up with your house burnt to the ground.
The guys talked about some of the stories Bree told today. They talked about her going to jail and how that must have screwed her up. Will said that there are some girls who are down for anything and that's what Bree is.
Jon had Teddy play a clip of Howard asking to see Bree's ass and what she had on under her dress. After that Jon asked the guys if they think that Robin would ever show her ass like Howard asked her. They didn't think she ever would.
A caller asked if they think that Bree was fantasizing about Howard when she was on the Sybian. Gary said she was talking to Howard when she was talking dirty and she was talking to him. Gary said that she wasn't looking at him, that's for sure.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Will a question about the Super Bowl. They didn't last long with that guy because he was kind of mumbling.
Another caller said that he went to school with Bree and she was blowing people all over the place. He said that they knew she was going to be a porn star back then.
Jon asked the guys if they fantasize about having someone like Bree get in your cab and having a girl fuck you like she described. The guys talked about that story and also about what happened with her and Bubba.
Gary said he didn't understand why Bree would get upset with Bubba having a guy pretending that he was blind. Gary said that he kind of gets why she was upset because she didn't know what else they were going to do. Gary said that he gets why they were taping her as long as they were too because he's learned that you never stop taping.
Gary said that Bubba's studio is in this neighborhood area where you could get eaten by an alligator. He said that the road they're on is a really long, empty road. He's been there so he knows what it's like.
Another caller asked what Bree's pussy looks like. Gary said that he looks at the girl's face and any movement that they're making to see if it's real or not.
Benjy said he got a good look at her vagina and she has thick, meaty lips and it looked really hot. He said that she was grinding into the Sybian when she was riding it today.
Will said that Bree was wiping up her cum on the Sybian and putting her had all over his arm so he had to go out and scrub up. He said that she is a hot chick and all but he still had to scrub up. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon changed subjects to Lisa Rinna. Gary said that Lisa is the kind of guest they wanted when they moved to SIRIUS. He said that she was willing to talk about just about anything.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that she will ever follow Howard's advice about her lip. Gary said she claims that it is getting lower. Gary said that she looks outstanding in the Playboy pictures and she's looking as hot as some people who aren't 45.
Jon had Teddy play some of the audio of Lisa talking about her friend Cindy Crawford. After playing that Gary said that Cindy Crawford really is beautiful, he's seen her in person and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He said he thinks that his wife was even staring at her.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard always seems very critical of her and he may be going overboard with that. Gary said that Howard praises her too and Lisa doesn't seem to get offended when Howard does bring that stuff up. Gary said that she's just a cool chick and she doesn't fight him on that stuff. She says that she'll look into it when he gives her advice like that.
The caller was also talking about Bree Olson on Bubba's show and how he thinks she had every right to be upset with Bubba and the guys for what they did to her. The caller said that Howard has a way of being respectful even when he does stuff like he did to Lisa Rinna.
Jon took another call from a guy who wondered if they did a lot of air brushing on Lisa's pictures. He said that he thinks that they had to have done a lot of air brushing. He said that she didn't have any cottage cheese on her ass and he finds that hard to believe at that age. Jon said that she did say they did a little air brushing. He asked the guy if it really mattered that much. The caller said that it's like it's all fake if they do that so that's why he's complaining. Jon said that you know she has the body based on what they showed on Dancing with the Stars.
The caller also brought up an episode of Seinfeld when they talked about a coach that used to call George Costanza ''Can't Stand Ya.'' Jon and Gary weren't very familiar with that episode but the caller said that he remembered it when they were talking about the awful gym teachers yesterday.
Another caller said that he was going to call in about the Lisa Rinna pictures in Playboy but he went on the web and saw some of them and she looks pretty good.
Jason said that he hates taking his shirt off. Jon asked Jason if he hates that impression that Fred does. Jason said he actually loves that he has a Fred impression. He said that he reads on SFN that people hate him on the show but they love that impression so he's cool with that.
Jon brought up Richard's open wound and zit. Jason said he heard that Richard is walking around with it uncovered again after he did have a band-aid on it. Gary said that they joke around about that stuff on the show but one day something simple like that is going to lead to someone getting really sick.
The guys spent a little time talking about that zit thing on Richard's arm. They talked about how it was looking better today than yesterday. Benjy said he knew that the doctor was going to say he didn't know what it was. He said that he knew he wasn't going to know but there was no harm done.
Benjy said that the MRSA thing is always on you so it's not like they're going to get it from Richard. Gary said that he doesn't have an open wound on him though so he doesn't have to worry about it like Richard would. Jon wondered if Richard had showered since he got the wound. No one was sure so Jason ran out to find him.
A caller said that a staf infection is nothing to mess with and it's very scary to have. Benjy asked how long it takes before it gets really bad. The guy said it's about a week or so. The guy said that he and his brother got into a scuffle and ended up rolling around in an evergreen bush. Jon said that's something you don't hear every day.
Richard came in and said that Jason was the one who made him take his band-aid off so he could take a picture of it for the web site. Jon figured that maybe Jason was setting him up.
Richard said that he is going to take Dr. Jules' advice and get some antibiotics. Richard said that he just had a zit that he popped and it got out of hand and got really big. He said it's a lot better today than it was yesterday. He thinks that everything will be fine.
JD said that Richard was still walking around with it exposed today. Richard said he kind of likes it because everyone leaves him alone now. He said that Doug Hurwitt was there for the meeting and he's kind of liking that everyone annoying stays away from him. He said ''No offense Doug Hurwitt.''
Another caller said that if that is a MRSA infection it can get really bad. He said that he should wash himself and keep himself clean because he could end up in the hospital getting IV antibiotics and stuff. He said that he should do everyone a favor and not come to work until he finds out if that's what he has.
Another caller told Richard that he has to get checked out because if it is MRSA it can really cause major problems. He said that it could get down to the bone and they'd have to operate and if they do surgery they might have to amputate.
Richard said that he grew up on a farm and it looks like this thing is healing so he has always just let things like that heal. The caller told him that there could still be stuff going on down below the surface that he might not be able to see. The guy said that he really should get it checked out ASAP before it gets out of control. The caller told him that he's seen it before because he works in pharmacy and he's seen people with that stuff and he has to get it taken care of.
Ralph called in and said that he hopes that this is a flesh eating disease because maybe it'll teach him something. He said he likes that Richard likes horror movies too because he's almost turning into a zombie himself. Richard said that it would be kind of neat if he had some kind of bugs crawling out of his wound. Shuli said that the word ''neat'' would never come out of his mouth about something like that.
Richard talked about this movie ''The Ruins'' that he saw that was kind of cool but not all that great. It was about plants that attack. He said that the gore scenes were kind of cool but the movie itself wasn't that great.
Jon asked Richard what kind of movies he likes. Richard said that he likes John Carpenter movies like The Thing and stuff like that. He loved the original Halloween. He also mentioned ''The Fog'' and how they celebrate the anniversary of that movie by watching it. He and his girlfriend will be doing that tonight. He said that he loves that movie and today is a perfect day to celebrate it since it's foggy and rainy there in New York City.
Richard said that he celebrates Friday the 13th movies and a bunch of other movies throughout the year. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how he was thinking about Richard Christy's ''Fog Night'' that he had last night. He said that Richard celebrates the movie by having a pizza from Papa John's Pizza. Howard said he's amazed that anyone eats that pizza when you have all of the great pizza places around. Fred said that there are great pizza places everywhere and he's amazed that there are that many fast food pizza places around.
Artie said that there's a great pizza place right around the corner called Bella Napoli. He said that it's really amazing. Artie said that Domino's and places like that just aren't that good.
Richard came in and said that he had his arm checked out for MRSA and now the wound is covered up. He said that he hopes they're happy that he's got it covered up now. Robin told him it's all dirty and ugly already.
Howard asked if he had his fog night last night. Richard said it was great. He said it was foggy there in the city and it was a perfect night for it. Howard said he saw pictures of Richard and his girlfriend out on their balcony.
Robin said that Richard has some other things on his arm and she's concerned about that. Richard said he's allergic to his watch and he breaks out. Richard said that he breaks out when he wears anything metal. Robin told him that he needs to wash under it sometimes. Howard told Richard to take it off and let it breathe sometimes. Richard said that he usually sleeps with it.
Artie told Richard that his problem is that he's disgusting. He said that they just need to bring a jury in there for 10 minutes to verify that. Richard was saying that he wears that watch for a month without taking it off except to shower.
Artie told Richard to dip himself in boiling hot water. Richard said he showered yesterday. Howard said that you know things are bad when you have to think about when you showered. Howard said he showers once a day minimally.
Artie told Richard that there are good habits like showering. He said that it's an event, not a habit. Howard said he loves brushing his teeth too and he does it like 5 times a day. He loves to have fresh breath and teeth. Richard said he's started to brush his teeth more lately and he knows what he means.
Howard said that you have to get all of the crud out of there. Artie said he had a headache from this conversation. Howard said that Richard is gross and it is kind of annoying.
Howard and the guys were goofing on Richard about all of the filth he lives in. Richard said he smelled a homeless guy on the subway this morning and the guy reeked. He's not so bad compared to a guy like that. Howard, Fred and Artie were all doing their impressions of Richard and making fun of the stuff he was saying.
Richard said that he loves that Bella Napoli place Artie was talking about. He said that Artie goes to McDonald's and there are such great burger places around. Artie said he only goes to McDonald's when he's out on the road. He wouldn't make that a dinner event if he was out to eat. Howard told Richard that they have great pizza places that delivery just like a Papa John's would do and their pizza is so much better.
Howard said that Richard celebrates the movie ''The Fog'' every year on April 21st because that's when the movie came out. Howard talked about the movie and what that's about. Artie said that you get to see Adrian Barbou's tits when the fog rolls out.
Howard thanked Richard for coming in and let him go. Robin said she can't believe that Richard had those bumps on his arm from wearing a watch that he doesn't take off.
Howard said that he had to apologize about his bashing of AT&T and Blackberry yesterday. He said it turns out that they turned off his service thinking that he was changing his number. He said that they fixed it and now it's all better. Howard said that he would still rather have Sprint in New York City because AT&T isn't that great for getting a signal.
Howard said that he's phone obsessed and he was looking at the new Blackberry that might be out this summer. He said that he might upgrade but he's not sure he wants it because it doesn't have Wi-Fi.
Artie said he knows guys who have like 5 phones. Howard said his buddy Richie has two phones. He said that he has a back up phone because he needs that when his Blackberry craps out from getting wet. Howard said he was also saying that in England they have great service on the phones. There is no drop out over there.
Howard talked about how small England is and how it's easier for them to cover that small area than it is to cover this whole country.
Howard said that he wants to help out if Letterman really needs him but he really doesn't want to go on unless he has to. Howard said that Dave will be fine if he doesn't go on though.
Howard and the guys talked about how different things were many years ago with the Tonight Show because there were so few things to watch on TV.
Howard said he hates it when people talk about how he doesn't get great guests on the show. He said they get good guests but the show was never about that. He said that they get super stars on once in a while and the rest of the time they just talk. Howard said that Letterman had Jeff Goldblum on his show the other night and they were both struggling with the conversation. Howard said that they struggle for guests every night and they don't always have superstars on.
Howard said that if he went on Letterman he would probably talk to him about how he doesn't seem to be all that into his wife. He'd like to bring her on the show and talk to her. He said that it's like they're in the closet and never talk about anything in public.
Artie asked Howard if he was ever asked not to do another show by someone like that. Howard said he thinks that he has but wasn't able to think of who it was. Howard said he thinks that he has been asked to do shows first before other shows. Howard said they never demanded it though. He thinks that happened early on when he was doing those kinds of talk show appearances.
Robin read that the Blackberry Bold is only available through AT&T. That caller earlier had no idea what he was talking about. Howard said that they get a lot of bad information from the fans.
Howard said that this Victoria Silvstedt used to come on the show and she's got this reality show on now. Howard said he didn't know that she was famous but they make her out to be some huge star.
Howard talked about these reality shows and how they make a big deal out how bit of a star they are but they don't talk about how they got there. He said it's really weird.
Artie said that he shot a pilot for a reality show. He said that A&E came to him and asked him to do a show about him being out on the road. Artie said that they didn't want him for the drug thing but he took them up to a show in Syracuse that he did. He said that they went with him on a jet he got and things like that. He said that he'll have some people with him on the road that would be part of the show.
Artie said that he gambled a little bit and won 10 g's doing that. Artie said he told them that it might be kind of boring but one of the producers told him that they loved it. He thought it was boring himself but the producers loved it. Artie said that he was busting balls a lot on the road and he thinks that might be what they liked.
Artie said that he let a couple of girls up to his room and they got that on film. He said that he didn't want them in his room so his buddy Mike took care of them and said they couldn't come in. Artie said that both of the girls were single and they signed releases. He said that they only caught them going up to his room and nothing more than that.
Artie said that he might be able to get this show on VH-1 or something. He said that they would go to like 7 or 8 gigs and do 7 or 8 episodes. Artie said he's not sure about the money but he'll let Howard know when he finds out more.
Artie said that so far it's been torture shooting the show. Howard said that it's weird to see these guys like Steven Adler come on the show after seeing them on Celebrity Rehab because he seems like such an infant on that show. He said that when they come on this show they seem pretty normal.
Artie said that he tried to lay down the ground rules and said that he would never do drugs just for the show and he wouldn't want Dana to get back with him just for the show.
Howard asked Angel if she's hot. She said she's really not. She said that she bronsky'd Fred the Elephant Boy about 20 years ago. Howard didn't remember her.
Angel said that she asked Eric not to come over to her place but he took a train over to her house and stood at her door waiting for her. He said that the three kids there wouldn't let him in. She said that Eric showed up with flowers and she asked her daughter to ask him to leave.
Angel said that she tried to help Eric out getting a job and things like that and she was just trying to help. She said she can't stand it anymore. Angel said she's going through cancer treatments now and she can't get the guy to leave her alone. She said that she has to work 100 hours a week because she's got two full time jobs.
Angel said that she's working all of those hours to help pay the bills. Howard said that Jamaican's don't even have that many jobs. Howard asked her how she has time for cancer treatment and work the jobs. She said that she worked 106 hours last week and also had 2 cancer treatments.
Angel said that Eric called her job 27 times the other night. Howard asked Gary to get Eric on the phone so he can talk to him and maybe get him to back off. Angel said that she was helping Eric out with a bunch of stuff and he just won't leave her alone. She helped him file his taxes and things like that and now he's lying about things to her.
Howard said that it sounds like she's really into Eric in some weird way. Angel said that she's done at this point. Howard asked her if he could get him to back off, can she promise not to get caught up in the web again. Angel said that she is done with him now. Angel said that Eric has a Myspace page where he claims he's in love with her. She said that she just can't take that anymore. She said that he's written that he's going to kill himself over her. She said that he's a mess.
Howard said that Eric said that he was dating some girl. Angel said that she's the one. Gary said that Eric was bragging that he was dating a new girl when he was on Superfan Roundtable recently. Gary said that Eric was talking to him recently and he was telling him that he's not going to do the show anymore.
Gary said he tried calling Eric but he thinks that he's just hanging up on them. Howard said that if Eric is listening to the show he wants him to back off and leave this woman alone. Gary said that even if they call the cops he's not going to stop.
Angel said that she heard that Eric is threatening Dale from Sales' kid too. Howard didn't know what that was about.
Angel said that she has to pay rent and work three jobs while someone like Eric can't get a job. She said that she only got 16 hours of sleep last week. She has no choice though because she's a single mother and she has to raise the kids herself. Howard said that he wouldn't feel bad about her being on welfare. He said this is the type of woman that deserves that kind of money. Artie said he wants to do the benefit show for her instead of Captain Janks now.
Howard said that they used to have another girl who Eric was stalking. He had some audio of Eric going off on this woman on her voice mail. That was a different girl by the name of Dina. Howard played a few of those and he said that he told Eric he can't be doing that kind of thing.
Artie asked if Angel really has three teenagers. She said she has 12, 14 and 15 year olds. Artie told Angel that she will do a show for her and give her the money. Angel said that she just wants her life to get better and she was in tears hearing that. Artie said that he will do the benefit show and he'll give some to Janks and some to her. Howard told him to give it all to her, forget Janks.
Artie said that he will do a show within a month for her. Howard said that she might even get free tickets. Artie said that Eric isn't allowed to go to that show. Angel said that Eric has called her crying saying that she's killing him and that he's in love with her.
Angel said she just can't take this anymore. Howard asked if there is any way she could become attracted to him. She said that she's not up for that and she's 46 years old now and can't do that.
Artie said that he's going to do this show for her and that might give her some breathing room money wise. Robin said that makes her feel much better that he's not doing it for Janks now.
Howard let Angel go a short time later. He put her on hold so they could get her information. Artie said that's a real cause there. He said that he heard that when you go through cancer treatments that you're really weak. The woman is working three jobs and 100 hours a week. Then she has High Pith Eric on top of all of that. He said that no one deserves that.
Howard and the guys were doing their Eric impressions and making fun of him for trying to take advantage of this weakened woman. Robin said that they think he's harmless but he's really dangerous. Howard said that Eric can't even get a woman on Chemo who works 3 jobs. Howard said he likes that she's so nice that she was going to take him to a fish market so he could get over his fear of dead fish. She had mentioned that during the call.
Howard goofed on Eric about the VESID class that Angel was trying to make him take so he'd be more viable for a job. Howard did his Eric impression and goofed on him about all of that. The guys were making fun of Eric for not knowing how to fill out a job application and things like that.
Artie said that this woman is embarrassed to go to Welfare and other people take it when they don't even deserve it. Howard said that he'd like to know what they teach in those VESID classes. He wondered if they tell you how to tie your shoes and things like that. Artie said that the nightmare is hearing your daughter say ''I just met the nicest guy at VESID.''
Everyone in the studio was doing their High Pitch Eric impressions and making fun of all of that for a couple of minutes.
The caller asked if Howard told Beth about the blow job classes. Howard said he brought that up with her and Beth got upset with him for thinking that she didn't give good blow jobs. Howard said he didn't mean it that way. He said that she gives great ones. He said that he was explaining to her that even the smartest kid in high school should go to Harvard. He said that it came off like an insult to her and he didn't do a good job explaining it to her.
Howard said he mentioned Cindy Crawford in the conversation but it still didn't come out the right way. Robin was looking forward to holding one of those classes and she wasn't thinking that it would insult anyone. Artie said he wants to see Jason's night if the Girls Night Out people do the blow job class.
The caller said that he loves his movie ''Private Parts'' and asked if he would put the audio of the movie on the radio. Artie said that's either the dumbest or best idea ever. Howard said he's not sure he could do that. Howard said that he'd have to get permission to do it. The caller was fine with that and said ''Alright'' and got off the phone.
Howard played a graphic clip of a woman giving a blow job and joked that it was Cindy Crawford. He said that it was actually Lisa Rinna with her husband but that was a joke as well.
Howard played a clip from ''Private Parts'' and told Robin that they could leave now since they were going to play the whole movie. He played some of the scenes he did with Paul Giamatti as Pig Vomit. They had him teaching Howard how to say ''WNBC'' the right way. The guys were thinking that it might actually work okay if they played the whole movie on the air.
Artie said he loves when Howard says that in his mind he's hearing the same thing that Pig Vomit is saying. Artie said that Giamatti was unbelievable in that part. Artie said that he worked with Laurie Metcalf on the Norm Show and she used to hit him on the show as a running gag and they'd always tell him that he was great even though he was just sitting there.
Howard said he doesn't remember shooting the movie. He said that he only remembers one fight scene he did in his underwear.
Howard played another clip from ''Private Parts'' where Paul Giamatti, as Pig Vomit, was yelling at Howard and the guys when they were doing something wrong at WNBC. Howard said the actual thing wasn't that much fun. He said the real thing should have been a reality show.
Fred said that Paul actually made Pig Vomit seem charming so he was doing too good of a job. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who calls in every day saying that he's like Imus. Howard said that the guy is an asswipe and hung up on him. Howard took another call from a guy who said he had a question for Lisa G. He wondered if she'll be at the blow job class. Howard said he thinks that she would attend the class. Robin didn't know she was invited. Artie said he doesn't think that she's ever sucked a cock.
Howard said that he was told that Lisa is involved in something where they need video of her doing the news for a show they're doing for Howard TV. Howard said that's why he's wearing sunglasses today. He doesn't want to be in this clip.
Lisa was all made up today and she was wondering why they were making a big deal to do this. Lisa said that they're doing this thing for an interview she's doing and Doug Goodstein is the one who told her to get dressed up. They're doing it for her though. Lisa asked for a clip but she didn't want them to make something new.
Howard asked Lisa if she would attend a blow job class. Lisa said that she actually would. She said that she spoke to Lisa Rinna's coach about ''the basket'' thing that Lisa mentioned yesterday.
Artie asked Lisa how many times Lisa has blown a guy. Lisa said that's private. Howard asked Lisa about this clip and why she's doing it. Lisa is being interviewed for some online show and she needs the clip for that.
Lisa told Artie that she is a grown woman and she has blown guys. Howard played some more of the porn clip of a woman giving oral and choking. He said that was supposed to be Lisa and her husband.
Howard said he really blew it with Beth when he brought that class up to her. Another caller said that he thinks that Lisa used to be wild and she was probably taking black ones in her mouth when she was working with Ed Lover. Lisa said that this clip is for ABC News and they can't be talking about this stuff. Lisa asked if they could start over.
Howard asked Lisa if she's been with black guys. She said that she hasn't. Howard told the caller that she's only had white cock. Artie asked if she's been with anyone other than a Jewish guy. Lisa laughed. Artie didn't think it was that funny. He said it wasn't that out of the ordinary of a question for a Jewish woman.
Robin said that Lisa once said that she had a wild sex life at some point. Lisa said that she did some wild things but nothing too crazy. She said that she has experimented with some stuff but not all that much.
Lisa said that she did like to party. Howard asked if she ever dressed up for guys and gave them lap dances. Lisa said she did things like that. Howard played the Black Eyed Peas ''Boom Boom Pow'' and asked Lisa to give them a lap dance. Lisa wasn't doing it.
Lisa said that she has smoked pot before but it made her break out. Howard asked Lisa if she has ever had sex in a public place. She said she did do that in a park. Lisa said that she was out in the wild and she was a normal person.
Howard asked what park it was that they did it in. She didn't remember the name so Howard figured she just made that up. Lisa said that Howard is looking at her like she's Susan Boyle. Howard said that Lisa is making this stuff up if she can't remember the name.
Howard asked Lisa if she took the guy inside of her in the park. She said ''I guess so.'' Howard asked if it was just light petting. She wasn't giving up the details. She said that it was a while ago so she didn't remember.
Howard said that he tried to do it with a girl in the water one time but that didn't work out very well. Artie said he got a blow job in a bathroom in Vegas a couple of times. Howard figured Lisa was making up the park story. Lisa said she wasn't making it up, she just didn't remember the name of the park.
Lisa said that she had sex on a beach too. She said that was on a beach near where she grew up. Artie said that she didn't have sex on a beach either. He said she's never sucked a cock either. Lisa asked him if he's ever had a salad. No one got what she was going for with that comment.
Gary said he was with Artie and didn't believe her. Lisa said that they're looking at her like she wants to be that way forever. She said that if she is then it's fine with her.
Eric said that he said hello to her in the chat and she knew who he was. He was giving every detail about how he met her so Howard cut him off. He told Eric that he has to leave her alone. Eric said that he cares about this girl. Eric said that he would like to talk to her again when she gets better. Howard asked him if he will leave her alone if she doesn't want to speak to him anymore. Eric said that when she gets better she can call him. Howard said that's up to her then.
Angel said that she has told Eric this many times and she doesn't need the stress right now. She said that Eric has lied to her and he's killing her. Angel said that he's threatened to kill himself and she doesn't need that stress on her. She has three kids and three jobs.
Howard asked Angel if she has had sex with Eric. She said that she has. She said that they did have intercourse. Howard asked how the sex was. Angel said that the sex was more about her being drunk and more of a teaching thing for him. She said that gravity isn't in Eric's favor. She said that this was just back in January.
Howard asked if the sex was so bad that she never wanted it again. She said that she doesn't want it from anyone, she just wants to get well.
Angel told Eric that it wasn't love and it was just a physical act. Howard asked how he was in bed. She said that he was okay and she did have an orgasm after she did most of the work. She said that she was teaching him a bunch of things and she was doing a lot of the work.
Eric said that he did learn a lot about sex from her. Artie said that she should have taught him not to have it at all.
Howard said that Angel doesn't want Eric in her life right now and she wants him to leave her alone. Howard told Eric that he's being a pest and he's abusing her and hounding her with the calls. Howard had Eric swear on his parent's life that he was going to leave her alone. Eric said that he would do that and he only wants her to call him when she gets better.
Howard asked Angel if she's had sex with any other wack packers. She said that she hasn't had anything since January when she was with Eric. She said that she doesn't even call him.
Irish John called in and said that he can't even hang out with Eric without him texting her or calling her. He said that he puts some of the blame on her for giving Eric some pussy. He said he knows that Eric is going to call her. Howard asked Eric if he's going to call her. Eric said that he won't.
Howard had Eric repeat ''Pussy does not equal love'' and Eric did that. Howard asked him to do it without the phlegm in his throat. Eric did that but still had the phlegm. Howard told him to do it in his deep voice too so he did that as well. Eric said he won't call Angel anymore.
Howard asked Angel if she had sex in Eric's apartment. She said she won't even go in there anymore. She said she heard that he got his pets out of there but she heard the dog barking on a Howard 100 News report. She said that he's always lying to her.
Howard said he hopes that Eric can prove Irish John wrong by not calling this girl anymore. John said he knows that Eric won't leave her alone. Eric said that he will leave her alone. Howard asked him to back off of that other girl he was threatening and he did that.
A caller asked Angel how she could have sex with Eric after seeing that place he lived in. Angel didn't get a chance to answer. Howard asked if she gave him oral. She said she didn't do that. She said that Eric didn't go down on her either. She said that it didn't go that far.
While all of this was going on Angel was telling her kids to go to school. Angel said that Eric had to ask her where things were going. Howard asked if Eric wore a rubber. She said that Eric actually came inside of her without a rubber. She said that she's fixed so she doesn't have to worry about that. Angel said that she was in bad shape at the time because she was finding out about what was going on with the cancer at the time.
Artie was making fun of the way Angel was talking about this sex stuff and yelling at the kids to go to school and stuff.
Artie also told Eric to stay away from the benefit show. He told him that it's not for him. Eric said that he understands.
Eric said that he has been keeping a low profile and he loves the show. Robin asked why he can't be on the show. Eric said that he wanted to take a break and keep a low profile because he wants to have a better life and be a better person. Gary asked him how that will make him a better person. Eric said that he doesn't want to be known as the guy from the Howard Stern Show.
Howard asked what Eric learned at this VESID job training thing he went to. Eric didn't answer fast enough so Howard cut him off and told Angel to report it to him if Eric keeps bothering her. Eric said he still loves her and he hopes that she gets well. Howard asked him if he would go out with Lisa G. Lisa wasn't interested in that.
Eric asked if he could come up on Thursday and talk to them. Howard told him to come in and he'll talk to him. He said he wasn't sure he wanted him to sit in on the news though. Howard let the two of them go a short time later.
Howard played some audio of Blue Iris from one of her old lady porn movies. Lisa had a tear in her eye and said that Blue was 62 years old. Howard played the clip and listened to that for a short time. Howard said she was the best at it. The clip they were listening to was the one where she talked about the sex being better than rejuvenation.
Robin asked when she last worked in porno. Howard said that she didn't enjoy the sex from what she told him. Howard said that she had done something recently but he's not sure when that was. Howard said that the flag at the Lisa Rinna blow job school must be at half mast today.
Howard said he's going to miss Blue Iris. He said he misses her already. Howard said they speak her name. Fred played Taps while they were talking about that.
Lisa said that Bubba the Love Sponge has been named the grand marshall of some NASCAR race. She said that he will be the one saying ''Gentlemen, start your engines'' at the race. Howard said that Bubba loves those races and he'll probably blow his load there.
Lisa also said that John the intern has written a song for Show in the Hallway that will close out the show. She said that he will also be performing a song for Artie at a couple of upcoming shows. Howard thanked her for that and let her go a short time later. Fred told Howard he had to take a break but Howard wanted to get to their guest because they were running late. They went to break a short time later.
Irina is Russian so Howard spent a short time talking to her about the city she was born in. The life expectancy there is only 42 years old. Artie said that one of the cities they flew into going to Afghanistan was in Russia and the girls there were good looking like this chick. He said that a lot of them looked like they just wanted to get out.
Irina said that she ended up in Playboy and moved to the United States just to try it out. She said that there was no way she was going to go back to where she lived. She said that she got married when she was here and she got to stay but things didn't work out so she's divorced now. She said that she does have a green card now.
Howard said that someone who looks like Irina should be allowed to stay no mater what. He asked her who our first president was and she thought it was Thomas Jefferson. Howard told her it was actually George Bush.
Howard asked Irina why he's never heard of her before. She wasn't sure. She said that she was like the only Playmate that was never on the show.
Howard asked Irina if she has ever had sex with guys for money. She said that she never did. She got in a plug for this movie ''The Casino Job'' that she stars in. She told Howard about that for a short time but then Howard asked her about her sex life.
Howard asked Irina if she has ever had anal. She said that she hasn't done that. She said she's still a virgin back there. She has made love to women. Irina said that she would like to make love in first class on an airplane. Howard said that you'd be seen doing that if you tried.
Howard asked if she has ever had a threesome. Irina said that her boyfriend wants to do that but she hasn't done it yet. Howard said that Irina speaks English very well and he could never learn Russian that well.
Irina said that she learned to speak English watching the E! channel and Howard's show. She credited him with her good English.
Howard asked Irina what her boyfriend does. She said that he's a marketing director for a fashion line. Howard asked how she's doing financially. She said she's actually doing very well but she's not a millionaire yet. Howard said that it's amazing that people can come over from Russia and make good money like that.
Howard asked Irina about doing Playboy and if she ever banged Hef. She said that she never did that and she was never even approached by him. She said she was never asked to do anything. Howard asked her if she would have if she was asked. She said that she might have watched but she probably wouldn't have done anything herself.
Irina said that she lived at the mansion for a few months and barely spoke the language at the time. She said that she didn't have sex with anyone at the time. She said that she was hit on by everyone while she was staying there. She said that she was hit on by Val Kilmer, Scott Baio, Pauly Shore and others. Irina said she didn't even know who Pauly was until about a year ago.
Howard read that Irina was fired from a job she had on ''Entourage'' and she thinks that they fired her because they weren't nice to the actors. She said that she had her friend had more fun talking to the crew than to the actors.
Irina claims that Anna Nicole Smith hit on her not too long before she died. Howard asked why she didn't do anything with her. Irina said she didn't want to be in the public eye and in tabloids. She said she likes to just do her work and not have people following her around like that.
Howard read that Kid Rock hit on her after he married Pam Anderson and she turned him down because he had just gotten married. Howard asked if she told him that. She said she didn't.
Howard said that you can see Irina in the movie ''The Casino Job'' which is out on DVD now. Howard gave her some other plugs for some various web sites she's involved with. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked Robin if she watched American Idol last night. Robin said she doesn't watch the show at all. She just reads about it and that's how she keeps up with the show. She tries not to watch it at all.
Howard said that Jerry O'Connell will be in there later. Artie said he called him Charlie earlier. Howard said that someone told him to check out this version of Shaft that some ukulele players made. Howard said he hates that instrument and he lasted about 3 seconds. He said he can't imagine that anyone listens to that stuff. He played a few seconds of it and defied anyone to listen to more than 4 seconds of it.
Howard pointed out that people were laughing during the song. He said that at least he knows that song but other songs they played are probably unrecognizable. Howard said that they had like 20 guys playing the ukulele and one guy playing bass. He said it was like torture.
Howard said that Mark Harris reared his head again. He's written a couple of new songs and he wants to come back in. Howard said that Mark keeps using the same two song beds instead of coming up with something new. Howard said that he might need money and that's why he wants back on.
Howard was going to play the songs but he ended up talking about how Gary hates this Twittering stuff that Tim wants him to do. Howard said he told Gary to talk to Tim about it. He couldn't care less about it. Gary said that he's not even sure who they're supposed to be talking to in that Twitter thing. Howard said that Gary mentioned the PDT thing they have that scrolls what's going on there. Tim yelled out that it's called the PAT over at XM. Howard had no idea.
Howard said he shaved his bush yesterday and now he's itchy down there. He said that he shaves it down with sheers so they're shorter than his penis and it makes it itch. Artie had to get up and go to the bathroom around that time. Howard asked him what he was doing during the break. Artie said he didn't have to go during the break.
Howard played the new songs from Mark Harris where he sings about how much he dislikes President Obama. The first song sounded exactly like the one he sang about President Clinton many years ago. Howard didn't last long through that one. He played the second song and told Robin that she won't last that long with that one either.
Gary came in and told Howard that Tim corrected him on the PAD thing. He said that it's not the PAT, it's a PAD. Howard said he doesn't care about that.
Howard said that he was reading through some stuff that Tim sent home with him. He said that Tim wanted him to meet with some guy but now he doesn't want to do that and just wants Tim and Don to meet with the guy instead. Howard said that his agent loves to meet with people so he's glad that he's up for that.
Howard said that Jerry is the father of twins now. He said that his wife Rebecca Romijn had the twins since he was last there.
Jerry said that his wife didn't take his last name but he's fine with that. He said that her last name is much more exotic than O'Connell. He said that he did ask her to remove ''Stamos'' from her last name though. He said he was just joking about that. Jerry said that the kids have the O'Connell last name.
Jerry said that he and Rebecca were flying back to visit her family and in the air port they announced her name as Rebecca Romijn-Stamos. Howard said that must piss him off. Jerry said he really doesn't care.
Jerry said that his mother used to give his father so much grief about being married two times before her. Jerry said that his father didn't get why his mother got so mad at him for being married to two other women before he had even met her. Jerry said that he went to a Jets game with his father one time and he told him not to give Rebecca any grief over that whole thing because that's what his mother did to him. Jerry makes sure that he doesn't bring that up with her.
Jerry said that Rebecca met John Stamos and that got her into acting so he may not have ever met her if she hadn't married John Stamos.
Howard said he feels bad for Jerry about some stuff. He said that Rebecca won't let him watch football games in the house and stuff like that. He said that Jerry is too good of a guy sometimes. Howard said it sounds like he's almost breast feeding at this point. Jerry said that Rebecca is working hard right now.
Jerry said that he can't really enjoy her breasts right now because she's very self conscious about them being so big. Jerry said that Rebecca has really nice breasts. Howard said he knows, he's seen them. Howard said that he saw them in person one time. Howard said that they're gorgeous breasts. He couldn't remember if he touched them or not though.
Jerry said that he's fine as long as he didn't touch them with his tongue. Howard said he did but was just joking.
Jerry said that Rebecca won't let him near her boobs but he asked her if she could just go in and do something with them because they're probably the biggest he'll ever experience.
Jerry said that he and his wife are back to having sex. Howard said that it's not back to what it was before the kids. He said it's not but they do have two screaming kids in the house. He said that the kids are in the room next to theirs and they hear them crying often. He said that's not the most arousing things.
Howard said that Jerry is probably more sexually frustrated than he's ever been. He figured he was jerking off a lot. Jerry said it was like that for a while. Jerry said that he kind of has to be in an empty home to beat off though. He said it's not that easy to do that kind of stuff with the kids in the house.
Jerry said that his friends send him links to really crazy stuff on the web. He said that there's this web site called CakeFarts.com where chicks fart into cake and it looks like shit. Artie said he could barely eat hearing about that. He had a mouth full of food when he said that.
Howard asked Jerry what sites he goes to for porn. Jerry said he wasn't going to plug sites like that. He said he goes to free porn sites. Jerry said that his friends send him these crazy links and a lot of them are covered to make it look like they're not porn. He said that their computer is hooked up to their stereo system. Howard told him to get his own laptop or something then. Jerry said that he has his own but he has this computer they share in the kitchen.
Jerry said that he was at the point when he could finish in about 20 seconds. Jerry said that when he got back to having sex with his wife, he was a two pump chump.
Howard asked if Rebecca is back in shape. Jerry said she really is. He said that he hasn't experienced her milk spurting out either. He said that he didn't watch the kids being born either. Howard told him he's smart for not watching that. Jerry said that he stayed up by her head during the birth.
Jerry said that Rebecca had a Caesarian so she didn't ''blow it out'' down there. Howard said that it's best not to see that kind of thing happening because it can ruin it for you. Howard asked how long they had to wait to have sex. Jerry said that she had to heal up and he had to do it gently in the beginning.
Howard asked about the written apology he had to write and read on the air one time. Jerry said that he was being insensitive to Rebecca and he probably deserved it. He said that he can get pretty nasty sometimes and that's why he does that kind of stuff. Jerry said that he made a comment about how pregnant women can get pretty huge. Artie told him he was right though, he shouldn't have to apologize for that.
Jerry said that he could have used a better word to describe that. He said that he called a publicist to get the letter put into People magazine. Jerry said that he shouldn't call pregnant women ''huge.''
Howard asked Jerry if he was okay because he's not allowed to do so many things at home now. Jerry said he's fine. Howard said he could be getting a lot of hot pussy. Jerry said that things are great and he's on the show telling Howard things that he wouldn't tell his family or friends.
Howard said that he was hanging out with his daughter the other night and she had a great nose. He said that he's amazed that she has such a nice one. He said that it's amazing with his genetics that it happened. He said that if Jerry's girls grow up homely then it would be tragic. Howard said that they would laugh on the show.
Jerry said that he will make sure that his kids will never appear on Howard's show. He said he doesn't want someone like Amy Fisher's husband Lou telling them to ride the ''Symbian'' as he called it. Jerry said that was pretty funny when Lou called it the ''Symbian'' but he thought he was a great guest. Howard said that Lou did bring his A-game to the show that day.
Howard asked Jerry about getting a nanny. Jerry said that they have one but Howard was going to bet him that he would end up with more than one. Jerry said he would bet but the money would go to the North Shore Animal League. Howard wanted to bet him that he'd fall in love with the nanny. Artie said that Rebecca will hire someone who looks like Susan Boyle. Jerry said he would never hire a hot nanny.
Jerry said that he has his computer hooked up to their stereo system and when he clicks on the links the sound of porn clips ends up blasting in the house. He said that their nanny ends up hearing that stuff.
Jerry asked Howard if he feels any pressure from Beth to have kids. Howard said that not directly but there are people who are working on her to have kids and he feels it from that. Jerry said that they didn't have much talk of kids in the four years they were dating. He told Howard that he's going to end up getting more pets and hearing about the kids eventually. Howard said he doesn't want a zoo though and he won't allow that to happen.
Jerry said that he tried to put off the kid thing for years by getting pets. He said they got a couple of dogs, a couple of cats and they still ended up with the kids. Jerry said that he had to stop her from watching Jillian Reynolds because she wants to adopt the pets they have on that show.
Howard said he got out of the elevator yesterday and there were three screaming kids standing there. He said that he was able to walk upstairs and tell Beth that he just had the most horrible experience. He said Beth was saying she knows what he's trying to do and she gets it, he doesn't want kids. Howard said he wishes that she was there to see it herself.
Howard said he has told Beth how much he loves her but he just doesn't want to have kids. Jerry asked Howard how he's going to avoid the kid. Howard said that he won't have them. Jerry said that maybe he should push his energy to have another kid. Howard figured that Jerry wanted him to be miserable like he is. Jerry said that's not true.
Howard said that Jerry is hanging out with his parents again and now his wife's tits hurt so he can't touch them so he has to be miserable. Jerry said that he was at Rebecca's job a couple of weeks ago and she was in what they call a ''double banger'' trailer. He said that she gets the good one because she's the star. They had one for the kids in a ''three banger'' which isn't the nicer one. Jerry said that he had to spend the time in that trailer with the two screaming babies and he hasn't been in one of those since he was in ''Stand By Me.'' Jerry said that he now understands shaken baby syndrome after spending that much time in the trailer with the screaming. He said that he can see how people would lose it with that.
Jerry said that he knows it's an awful problem and people should be educated about what they're in for before they leave the hospital. Howard said he's right about that. Jerry said that he had to ask himself what he was doing there that day.
Howard said that Jerry wants him to join the misery and he's not going to do that. Howard said Jerry should go talk to Beth about the shaken baby syndrome thing now. Jerry said that stuff is wrong but people should be warned about what they're in for.
Howard said he raised 3 children and enjoyed being with them. He said that he's at a different point in his life now. Howard said that Jerry wouldn't take it on again. Jerry said that this really is it for him. Robin figured he would have more but Jerry said he won't.
Artie asked Howard why there's pressure on Howard to have kids if Beth isn't into it. Howard said he's still not convinced that she doesn't want any kids.
Howard said that Jerry is in a couple of movies called ''Obsessed'' and ''Baby On Board'' which open on Friday.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that Jerry just called the babies ''those two fucking babies.'' Jerry said that he loves the kids a lot and he was just trying to make a point.
Dominic told Howard that he and Leslie are dating again. Howard said that Dominic was married to this woman twice already. Howard couldn't believe that. Howard said that he got hit over the head with a plate of spaghetti. Dominic didn't want to talk about that. Howard talked about it instead. He wanted to talk to him but Dominic hung up before he could ask about the plate of spaghetti. Howard said they should have restraining orders against each other.
Howard asked Jerry if Rebecca has laid hands on him since the kids came. Jerry said that they do argue about stuff once in a while. He said it's usually about money. Jerry said that he has to ask her to cut back on the spending sometimes. He said he's kind of like Sal in that way asking his wife to cut back on the spending.
Howard gave Jerry some plugs for this ''Obsessed'' movie and found out he worked with Beyonce in that. Jerry said that he has nothing bad to say about her at all. Jerry said that he didn't want to say anything and about Jay-Z's wife either.
Howard said that Jerry is also in ''Baby On Board'' and talked to him about that movie. Jerry said that he worked with Heather Graham on that movie. He said that things are going great.
Jerry said that he never really thought about having kids with Rebecca. He said that she brought it up shortly after they got married. He said that he wanted to wait a little bit but it's fine. Jerry said it's not completely up to him. Howard said it sounds like there's not much that is up to him. He congratulated him on having his parents living with him and having the nanny there to take care of the kids. Jerry said that things could be worse.
Howard asked Gary if he knows what porn site Jerry is going on. Gary said it's probably YouPorn.com. Jerry said that it's not like it's big secret or anything. Howard gave him a couple more plugs and started to wrap up with Jerry.
Jerry told Artie that Letterman joked about Hugo Chavez giving Obama a copy of ''Too Fat to Fish'' as a gift the other night. He thought that was pretty funny that he plugged Artie's book again.
Jerry was telling the guys that he has to use a rubber with Rebecca but Artie couldn't believe that he had to do that with Rebecca Romijn. Howard said he still uses one with Beth all the time. He said that he has done it without one but he pulled out. Howard said that he doesn't want anymore kids and he won't be doing that. Jerry said he will fill Beth up and he will have kids.
Jerry told Benjy to be careful on CraigsList. He said that people are dying out there and Benjy really has to be careful. That led to the guys talking about the guy who killed a woman he met on Craigslist. Howard said he was reading an article about the guy and he loves to play poker. He was getting money by robbing the chicks he was meeting through the site. Howard mentioned some of the other stuff he read about the guy. Jerry said it was really sad because that girl he killed was really hot. Artie jokingly said it wouldn't have been so sad if it was an ugly chick.
Artie said that he's not sure he would ever be at the point where he'd go on a web site to meet a chick like that. Howard said it's very creepy. He said that you don't know who you're meeting on those sites. Howard said that his other favorite dude in the news is this pirate guy they caught from Somalia. Howard talked about that for a few minutes and said that the kid is probably close to being retarded. The guy would have killed the captain of the ship if they hadn't caught him. He said that they can't get all caught up in that and think that he's a smiling kid if he was going to be part of that whole pirate thing.
Howard was about to wrap up with Jerry but Artie told a story about meeting Jerry out in L.A. when they were both working for FOX. Jerry had come up to him and talked to him about living in New Jersey since they were both from the state. Jerry said he was new out there at that time just like Artie was. Howard wrapped up with Jerry and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that he was going to play the Riley Martin stuff but he's going to save that for tomorrow. He had Steve Langford come in with his news preview instead.
Steve said that they have more on Captain Janks who failed to appear in court for another court appearance he was supposed to make. He has until early may to appear now. Steve said that even more bar owners are calling in with their stories.
Steve said that they have more on the Geo Group and some of the deaths that have happened there. Dan Rather is working on a story about the group now. Steve said that in the next couple of days it's the anniversary of Kenneth Keith Kallenbach's death. Howard said that something weird went down there and they have to get to the bottom of it.
Steve said that Jackie the Joke Man was in Tony and Tina's Wedding out in Las Vegas and Billy West and Donald Trump are rumored to have been there at the show.
Howard said that Jim Carrey has released a 3 page report on why vaccinations are bad. He said that he said that Jenny McCarthy was going to fuck the funny right out of that guy and it may have happened already. Howard read some of the report where Jim talked about the studies that have been done with the vaccination thing. Howard said that Jim could get tons of hot chicks and now he's under the spell of Jenny McCarthy's pussy.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He was going through his subjects for the day and mentioned Jerry O'Connell. That led to the guys talking about some of the discussions they had with Jerry about the kids and things. Jon ran through the rest of the subjects a short time later. They ended up talking about Irina Voronina for a couple of minutes too. Howard said he was happy with that interview even though she didn't really tell them anything shocking.
Robin started off with a story about Lindsay Lohan apparently going out with a bunch of men after breaking up with her girlfriend. Howard said he thinks that she really is into women more than men. Robin said they call her a faux lesbian in the paper. Howard said he thinks that she really does like women.
That led to the guys talking about Anne Heche and how she went back to men after she and Ellen Degeneres broke up. The guys were talking about how some people might be doing that kind of stuff just to make it in the business. Howard said that he can't imagine her spending a year banging Ellen just to make it. He said that it can't be pleasant to lick Ellen for a whole year just to make kit.
Howard said he doesn't believe that Lindsay is a fake lesbian. He said that she did pick a girl who was very man-ish but he does think that she's pretty hard core lesbian. Robin said that Artie should get in line with Lindsay because they are saying that she's hooking up with a different guy every night.
Robin said that today is Earth day and they're saying that Mariah Carey might be the least green celerity. She flew in her personal trainer from St. Barts. John Travolta is in second place because he has a fleet of jets that he flies. Oprah Winfrey was listed as one of the more ''green'' celebrities out there. That led to the guys talking about how odd she looks when she loses weight.
Robin read some news about the Craigslist killer. Robin said that this poor girl put her ad on the site and ended up getting killed for it. She was offering massages and showed herself in a bikini. Howard said that you shouldn't go on that site to meet people like that.
Robin read about Leona Helmsley's will and they keep taking money from her dogs. Howard said that she did leave the money to the dogs and they can't just take it away from them. Robin said that a judge keeps coming in and taking money from the dogs to use for other things. Howard said if that's what she wanted, that's what she should get. The family is contesting the will saying that she wasn't in her right mind toward the end.
Robin said that the local NBC station is going to be saying goodbye to Len Berman the sports guy. Howard said that things have gotten so bad that they can't afford to pay that guy anymore. The guys talked about that for a short time. Robin said that Len is going to be doing his sports clips on the Today Show so he does have a job.
Howard said he just drew a picture of High Pitch Eric with his glasses off. Artie said that was a pretty good profile picture. Robin thought it was good too. Artie said that Howard drew him on the show one day and signed it and it looks great. He said he's keeping that picture and his sister is keeping it in his scrap book. Howard gave him the High Pitch Eric picture too.
Robin read a story about Billy Joel and something he's doing with a school music program. that led to Howard talking about how great Billy is as a dinner guest. He said that Billy is out of there by 10 o'clock or so and he wants to kiss him for doing that. Howard said it's enough when they leave around that time. He said it's enough after a couple of hours. Howard said Billy is funny and after 3 hours it's plenty.
Artie said that he's getting a couple of Wave runners for his house at the shore. Robin said that they can go out riding together. Howard was talking about going out on the boat with Dominic and how horrible that was. He said he will never go out on a boat with that guy again. He said he learned from his mistake there.
Robin read some news about Lawrence Taylor being kicked off of Dancing with the Stars last night. She also had a story about Mia Farrow starting a hunger strike. Howard said she weighs about 12 pounds, she can't go on a hunger strike. They spent a few minutes talking about that story.
Robin read a story about the 18 year old Somalian pirate that was arrested. Robin said that they're claiming he was a victim and trying to get him off on that. He could face life in prison if he is found guilty of all of the charges.
Robin read a story about a woman who was paralyzed after she was injured in the bathroom of an airplane flight. She had her neck snapped during some air turbulence. Howard said he was reading a story about an Olympian who was injured and is now a quadriplegic and the Chinese government is covering it up. She's stuck in a wheelchair now and they're keeping it quiet and not even letting her talk about it.
Robin read a story about a man who was trying to break a text messaging record. Howard wondered why anyone would want to do that. Robin said that he got a $26,000 bill for the messages. Howard said of course he did. Robin said that he sent 217,000 texts. She wasn't sure how long it took to do that. Howard said he read that he had an unlimited plan and he still got the bill. Howard wondered what was going on there.
Artie said that he got invited to some party that Sour Shoes is throwing. It's happening during show hours though. Howard told Artie he can go because they do need someone to go and check it out.
Robin read a story about a guy who worked for Freddie Mac killing himself.
Robin also had a story about some new hybrid cars from Honda and Toyota going on sale this year. She said that the cars start right around $20,000.
Robin read some news about the movie ''Obsessed'' and had some audio clips of the director talking about working with Beyonce Knowles in the movie. He talked about how great she was of course. Howard had predicted that he would talk about her that way.
Robin read about an astronaut who claims that aliens do exist. Fred played a cuckoo clock sound as they were talking about that. Howard wondered why they would cover up something like that if it was true. He said he'd be thrilled if it was true.
Robin read a story about ''The Soloist'' movie and had some audio clips of one of the actresses in that movie talking about working with Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr.
Robin read about a movie that Matthew McConaughey is in and had some audio of an actress talking about working with him.
Robin read about the Miss USA pageant and Miss California getting into trouble with the answer to Perez Hilton's question for her. Artie said that chick is really hot. Robin read that she's actually dating Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps. Robin wrapped up her news and they ended the show right around 10:25am.
Jon went through his list of things that they had to talk about today. Jon wanted to start off with Blue Iris. The guys talked about her being on the show and how close Richard got to her. Benjy said he liked her a lot because she was so friendly. Benjy said that he used to talk to her there in the hallway and she was very friendly and sweet to him.
Richard came in so Jon asked him about how close he got to her. Richard said that they would meet up with her for dinner and his girlfriend loved her. Richard said she was the sweetest ladies that you'd ever meet and it's such a bummer that she's gone. Richard said that it was kind of like that with Cliff Palate when he passed away. Gary said he was like the nicest guy on the planet and everyone that knew him felt the same way about him.
Gary asked Richard what they would talk about with Blue out at dinner. Richard said she had a lot of stories about her life and it was fun to hear about what she did out in California in the 60s and 70s. Richard said that she used to talk about old TV shows and comedy and things like that. Richard said they laughed a lot together.
Gary said that Blue isn't gone yet so it's weird to be talking about her like this. Gary said that she's technically still alive but it doesn't sound good. Richard said it really doesn't sound good from what they've been hearing.
Jon asked Richard if he was upset when he heard the news. Richard said that he would hear from her about her health issues and it was kind of funny but this time it's not. He said that he had a good time making prank calls with her. He said that Eric the Midget got mad at her one time when they pranked him and it was great. He said that they were all just laughing the whole time.
Jon said he hopes that Blue does end up being okay and that the news they got wasn't true. Gary talked about some of the other people who were on the show that have passed away. They spent a few minutes talking about Hank the Dwarf because he died in 2001 just days before 9/11 so his story got kind of brushed to the side.
Gary said that Hank was a great guy to talk to about music. He said that it was fun to sit around and talk to him about that stuff. Gary said he spent a lot of time with Hank at Doug Goodstein's wedding. He said Hank didn't drink that night because he was behaving for Doug's wife Marlo.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Richard if he was going to be more upset with Blue Iris when she dies than he was with Cotton Hill on King of the Hill. Richard said that was a cartoon so of course he'll be more upset. Gary said Blue is irreplaceable. The guys talked about some Blue Iris moments on the show like the time Artie made out with her.
Jerry O'Connell was in the studio so Jon asked him about Richard and if he's disgusted by him. Jerry said that he did shake his hand but he did think about all of the disgusting things that he's done for the show and talked about doing. Jerry said that Ronnie gave him some Purell and he did use it all over his hands when he offered it up.
Richard had a bandage on his arm that looked like duct tape. Richard said that's exactly what it is. He said he got the other one wet so he replaced it with the tape.
Richard was saying that he's not so worried about things like some people are. He said that the whole thing wasn't bothering him but it was bothering everyone else. Richard did worry the time that he got licked by that guy who came in with Bam Margera. Richard said that the guy had hepatitis so he had to go and get checked out for that.
Gary said that he got squirted in the eye when some chick squirted in the studio one day. Gary said they had these girls on and they had these fucking machines that they were using and one of the girls was a squirter. Gary said that the girl squirted and a drop went into his face. Gary said that he thought she should have warned them that she was a squirter.
Jerry told him it had to be an accident. Gary said he knows it was but he should have been warned that it could have happened. Gary said that George Flowers was there and he had all kinds of stuff for him to wash his face with. Gary didn't think it was that big of a deal but other people told him to get tested.
Gary said that it seemed to be a genuine question and it wasn't like he was trying to zing Howard. Jerry said that he thinks that Howard likes to break the news to people really slowly like he did with the marriage to Beth.
Gary said that Jason and Will both announced their engagements around the same time and Howard never called him in to bash him about it. Gary said they got suspicious at the time when Howard didn't put Will through hell on the show.
Jon asked Jerry if he thinks that the kid thing is going to happen. Jerry said that Rebecca and Beth are close and he thinks that she's going to put that into Beth's head that the kids are great. Jerry said that he can't speak for Beth but he thinks that if he withholds the kids from her that it's a little rude. Jerry said that he's seen a woman go through birth and it's an amazing thing. Gary said that Howard was very up front with Beth about the whole thing and he told her he didn't want kids. Gary said that Howard has talked about how he will deal with it when it comes but he does think that they will have kids some day.
Gary said that as your life goes on and you see people having kids you do change. Jerry said he knows that Howard needed kids in his life when he heard Howard talking about cell phones for two months. Jerry said that he needs something to do to keep him busy.
Gary asked Jerry how long he was married before the kids arrived. Jerry said it was over a year. Gary said that he was married under two years. He said that they never imagined that he was going to hit the jackpot on the first try and they were planning on taking their time.
Jerry said that Howard should listen up. He said that of course he was going to make babies with Rebecca because she is so hot. He said that Howard should look at Beth and want some of that in his gene pool.
Jerry said he doesn't think that Howard's relationship is going to last with Beth if they don't have kids. He said that Beth is so nurturing that she has to have kids. Gary said that Jerry was hitting on something because there are people out there who don't have kids and you want them to be part of the parenting thing so they can experience it.
Jon said that he loves his kids but there are moments when you do lose it. Jerry said that there are some people who shouldn't have kids and should just keep doing what they're doing, like Benjy. He said that Benjy is living the life with the stories he has about banging chicks he's met online. Jerry told him he needs to hear the stories on the air. Benjy said he could share some stories on the phone. Jerry said his wife wouldn't like that so he should just tell them on the air.
Jerry said that he's only 4 months into being a father and there are times that are pretty harrowing. Gary said he's been there and he knows what it's like. He said there will be times when almost nothing is happening other than changing shitty diapers.
Jerry said that he sees Beth and Rebecca are friends and they almost have this secret society bond and if Howard is stopping Beth from having kids is pretty narcissistic. Gary said that it's a big leap to say that Howard is stopping her from doing it.
Jerry said that they should talk about something else because he just has babies on the mind all the time. Jon took a call after that and a guy asked Jerry if he was more comfortable on the show now. He didn't like him in the past and today he thought he was good. Jerry said he's only been on 5 times but he is more comfortable. He said that he is getting more and more comfortable.
Jerry talked about how he's masturbating a lot these days and his wife probably never thought he would be doing it in the kitchen. He said he's glad that he has ''Clear History'' on the Safari browser on his computer. Jerry said that the house is usually empty but the UPS guy has the code to the house and he might come in and drop something off inside the gate. He said that he is worried that someone will see him doing that at some point.
Jon asked Jerry about how Rebecca seems to run the house. He asked him to give Sal some advice on how to run his house. Jerry said that he doesn't think that Sal and his wife communicate at all and he might need to work on that. Jerry said that he does have a lot of say in his house but his wife does too.
Benjy asked Jerry what kind of rules he lays down. Jerry said it's usually stuff about money. He said that stuff comes up often because of the economy and he's just trying not to spend money on frivolous stuff. Gary said that when you live on your own you can go and sleep on a friend's couch or something. Gary said he's in the same boat as Jerry is.
Another caller said that Jerry seems to have some reverence for Howard and he also wondered if he has ever spanked Rebecca. Jerry said he doesn't think that would be her thing. He said that Benjy is there for those kind of stories.
Jerry also said that he does have reverence for Stern. Jerry said that the main show is such great programming these days. He said that everyone was nervous for a little while during the possible bankruptcy thing. Gary said that Robin was kind of worried during those times.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Jerry brought up the shaking the baby thing and he feels the same way every day. Gary said he might want to call the authorities if he feels that way every day. Jerry said that they really have to let parents know what they're in for before they leave the hospital.
The caller was also asking about the pull and pray method and how it didn't work for him. He said that it's not one that works very well.
Jerry said that he is done having kids. Gary asked him why he would have sex with her without a condom if he doesn't want kids. Jerry said that he won't get a vasectomy and Rebecca won't go on birth control. He said he's just busy pulling, praying and saying ''Droppin' Loooads!''
Jason said that he doesn't have any plans on having kids. He said that they talk about it once in a while and they just don't want to do it now. Jason is 30 and Jerry thought he was pretty young.
Jason said that he still wears a condom even though his wife is on the pill. He said that he has a fear of finishing inside of her even with the condom on. Jason said that he can't even tell if it's still on in there. Jerry told him that's what the butt is for.
Jason said that he can't even enjoy having sex because of that. He said he loves sex and he has done it without one on but he still uses them and doesn't want his wife getting pregnant. Jason said that he has had sex without a condom and not pulled out. He said that he really doesn't want to have kids and it freezes him up.
Jason said that he wouldn't want to bring another ''me'' into this world and he's already feeling that his life is full enough as it is. Jason said he likes being the center of attention when he goes home.
Jerry said he thinks that Jason could have a great kid and he'd probably make a great father. Jason said he hopes that would happen if he did have a kid. He appreciated him saying that about him. Jason said that he knows that he could pass along his neurosis if he did have a kid and that's one reason he doesn't want to do that.
Jason said that he looks at himself and doesn't think that he needs another one of those around. Jerry told him that he's working there at Howard 100 and 101 and he's doing pretty well for himself. He said that he could pass that along to a kid or two and the kid would turn out fine.
Gary said your biggest fear when you have a kid is that something will be wrong with them when they're born. He said that you pray that they're not going to be deformed but it's another that your fear is that they'd be just like you.
Jason said he wouldn't even be able to teach the kid how to throw a ball. Jon said that he would want the kid to learn to throw it right so he would make sure that happened. He told him he shouldn't worry about that kind of thing.
Ralph called in and Jerry said it was an honor to talk to him. Ralph said that Jason should wear 20 condoms. He said that they're pushing Jason into something that he shouldn't be doing at this point. He said that Jason needs to get his life in order first. Ralph said that too many people bring kids into this world and that's a problem.
Ralph was also asking Jerry about the house that he's in and said that it sounds like he needs something bigger. He said that he also needs to get his own computer. Jerry said he does have one but they have open computers there at the house. He said they don't hide things from each other.
Ralph said that Rebecca kind of blew him off and stopped talking to him for a while. Jerry said that Rebecca still loves Ralph.
The guys were also talking about condom use and how they don't feel that good when you use them. Benjy suggested that people try Avante condoms if they don't like the regular ones. He said that they're polyurethane and they're great.
Ralph was saying that he doesn't think there's a problem with the way Benjy is hooking up with chicks. He said that's the way people are hooking up these days. Benjy said that he's not doing that anymore. Gary told him to stop and they've heard that enough now.
Gary said that there are some scary people out there doing that stuff. Ralph said that he knows that they're not all safe but it's not all unsafe. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon asked Jerry about working with the guy who played Stringer Bell on The Wire. Jerry said that the guy's name is Idris Elba and he's great on The Wire. Jerry said that he met him in real life and he had an English accent. Jerry said that he couldn't believe it when he heard that he had an English accent. He said that the guy is amazing to go from that to the American accent.
Gary said that the guy who played McNulty on the show also had an English accent. They said that the guy who played Mayor Carchetti on the show was Irish. Gary said that was freaking him out when he heard that. Jon said that Idris is also on The Office right now playing Michael Scott's boss.
Benjy mentioned that he was from Rhode Island. Jon just moved on instead of going down that road with him. Jon asked Jerry about the apology that he wrote for People Magazine. Jerry said it wasn't really all that interesting. He said that he just said that his wife was huge and her stomach was jutting out at the time because she had twins in there. He said that his apology was for calling pregnant women huge.
Gary said that it sounds like he sent an apology to his wife though People magazine. Jerry said that it was suggested to him that he apologize for doing that and it wasn't just an apology to his wife.
Benjy asked what you're supposed to say if you don't say they're huge. Jerry said that you should say they look radiant or something like that. Gary said that women will get pissed if you mention their size when they're pregnant or not pregnant. Gary said they don't want to hear about that because it's not fun for them.
Jerry said that the ankles swelling was scary for him. He said that things were getting caught down there. Gary said that some pregnant women get hemorrhoids and none of that stuff is up for joking.
Jon told Jerry what Artie was saying this morning and how he might be doing that show. JD might be part of it so the guys asked him about what that pilot was like. JD talked about some of the stuff that was going on with that.
The guys said that they didn't know about the reality show and they were all kind of surprised with it today. Jon asked Jerry if he thinks it would be good for Artie. Jerry said he does. He said that a lot of the world doesn't know Artie and when they do get to know him, they'll like him. Jerry said that good exposure for Artie is going to help.
Gary said his fear is that they're going to want Artie to falter in some way and they're going to show that on the reality show. Gary said that if they capture that stuff on the show then it might hurt him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Jerry is a great fan and he likes that he gets the whole thing. Another caller said that she doesn't understand Jerry saying that he didn't want to have kids yet but then they had the kids anyway. She said that he sounds like a huge pussy to her. Jerry said that his wife might not be as understanding as she is.
Gary asked the woman what she wouldn't want her husband doing at home. She said she's not married so she doesn't have anything like that going on. She said that her friends are always telling her to have kids too and she doesn't feel that she has any reason to do that. She said that not everyone is into that kind of thing. She gave a shout out to the people at JFSC.tv before she got off the line.
Gary said that Artie would be bringing a talent to the reality show that he'd be doing. So many of the other realty shows just have people who have no talent.
Ralph called back in and said that he's confused about Artie wanting to do a realty show like that when he's already on Howard TV. Gary said that maybe they don't have the money to offer him. Ralph said that Howard has helped him out with his career and he should stick to the show and not do his own.
Beth said that she has a friend who is pregnant and she's her closest friend and she's living daily through all of that. Beth said she's in baby world right now and that's the age to be in that. Beth said that right now she's not thinking about children but she is feeling pressure from her parents and friends.
Beth said that she never brings that stuff up around Howard and she doesn't want him feeling that way. Gary said that Howard said it wasn't her bringing up the pressure so he's not blaming her at all.
Jerry said that no guy has ever said that they should have kids. He said that it's pretty much the woman saying that she's the one who wants to do it. Jerry said that you spend most of your life trying not to get pregnant.
Beth asked Jerry if he was ready to have kids. He said he wasn't but he went with it when his wife wanted to do it. Jerry told Beth that she could get Howard to do it. Beth said she's really not looking to do that. Jerry said he knows that but he's seen her with the deer on the side of the road and she's so nurturing.
Benjy asked Beth if she would want to have kids if Howard did. Beth said she would do it if Howard wanted to. She said that if they did have a kid it might end up looking like Big Bird. She said that they will see but she doesn't want to be 10 years down the road thinking that she missed out. She said that she might adopt instead. Jon had to bring the conversation to an end a short time later since the show was over.
Howard started the show wondering where he was going to begin. He talked about how nice the weather was supposed to be this weekend. The temperature was supposed to get up toward 80 degrees. Fred threw in some Tradio show clips so Howard ended up playing the latest call that Sal and Richard made to Tradio where they used clips of the host to make him talk to himself.
Howard played a little bit of that but he wanted to drag out the guy's voice so it just kept going with the word ''Tradiooooooo.'' Howard played the rest of the prank call where the host didn't even know he was talking to his own voice. That's the call where Richard had written an email that the guy ended up reading. Richard was selling some ''tube steak'' and the guy read the email not knowing what he was talking about.
Howard liked that call. He said the guy didn't even recognize his own voice. He goofed on the guy for a short time. He said that job has to be awful selling stuff on the radio. Howard said that the guy has to become a Rush Limbaugh type at some point so he has an opinion.
Howard said that they do this to people he knows all the time. He said that he's going to blame Doug Goodstein and Mike Gange and he's not sure why he lets them keep getting away with this stuff. Howard said that they do the same thing to his other family members.
Howard said that he didn't even know that Beth was coming in but then he had to make it a point to tell people that she was going to be there. Ronnie would have set it up so she could get in but he shouldn't even have to do that. Howard said he wasn't able to sleep last night because of this.
Howard said his parents have even had that problem. Howard said that the Howard TV guys really just shit on his family and he's going to put a ban on letting those guys do anything with his family.
Howard said that they did that to Jon Bon Jovi one time and even he wasn't able to get in there. Howard said it's always something around there and he wants the Howard TV guys to stay away from his family.
Howard said that he figured that they would even fuck up putting an ISDN line into his parent's house so he didn't let that happen. Howard said that Ronnie came in to do that auto show that he did and Ronnie forgot his ID so they wouldn't let him in. Howard said that they're just doing their job downstairs. He said that he doesn't blame the security guys. He said that the fact of the matter is that Beth's name wasn't even on the list downstairs.
Gary said that everyone is late because of train troubles and Doug just texted him that they checked to make sure that Beth's name was on the list and they're not sure what happened downstairs. Howard said they should have an escort down there to make sure everything goes smoothly. He suggested that they have someone sitting down there two hours early to make sure someone like that can make it up there.
Howard said that Beth had to stand down there for about a half hour trying to get up there. Robin said that she could have just gone home. Howard said that's what Jon Bon Jovi did that time he got screwed.
Howard said Beth went to a birthday party yesterday and she got wasted there. He said that he's kind of furious about what went down there and he doesn't want to say whose birthday it was. He said that people are using his name for stuff and he doesn't want to talk about it.
Howard said Beth came home loaded and he's not sure what she was drinking. Howard said that she was horny and wanted sex so it was great for him. He said he was into it in a way he's never seen before. He said it was pretty wild actually. Howard said he took advantage of that and got laid.
Howard said Beth was out from about 1 to 7 last night and she came home and told her that she was getting hit on by waiters. He said that one waiter asked her when she was going to get a divorce so he could date her. Howard said he kind of likes hearing those stories.
Howard said that Beth slammed her toe into the bed yesterday and may have broken it. Robin said that they can't set a toe anyway so it's just going to have to heal on its own. Howard said that she was that fucked up that she broke a toe. Artie said that's pretty loaded. Howard asked if he was jealous. Artie said that in a way he is.
Howard said Beth was nervous as hell when she did get there to SIRIUS and they asked her about the whole baby thing when she got in there. Howard said she had no idea what she was going in there for. Howard said that they kind of attacked her with that whole discussion.
Howard said that Jerry was talking about how his life has changed but didn't seem to get to the point of just how much his life has changed since his wife had the kids. Robin said she thought he did when he said that he knew what the shaken baby thing was all about.
The caller said that Dr. Jules was in there talking about the number of days he works and Howard was kind of saying that he thought he was taking too many days off. The caller said that Howard only works four days and he's doing the same thing as that guy is. Howard said he is living the life and he knows it.
Howard took a call from a guy who had no idea that he was on the air so he kept saying that he thought it was Sal just fucking with him. Howard and Robin were talking to the guy and trying to get him to say something. The guy still had no idea that he was on the air. Howard, Robin and Artie all talked to the guy but he still didn't know he was on the air.
The caller eventually said that he liked the Bree Olson interview and talked about that but still didn't believe he was on the air. Howard said he may have believed it finally but he wasn't sure about that.
Irish John called in and said it sounds like Beth might have baby fever and he may just want to have one. Howard said that Beth wanted to have sex without a condom yesterday so she might just have that baby fever.
John said that he had a baby 4 months ago and it made them very happy. Robin asked if John was married. Howard said of course he's not. He said that no one is going to marry John.
Howard played some clips from the Wrap Up Show where Jerry O'Connell was talking about Howard's marriage and how rude it would be to keep Beth from having kids. Howard said that he really doesn't get why he thinks that he's kind of breaking the news to people that he's going to have kids slowly. Howard said he really doesn't want to have kids and he's told Beth that. Howard doesn't get why people want him to have kids so bad. He said that every minute is with this kids thing and he just doesn't want to have any more kids.
Howard said that he's 55 years old and he's just not going to chase kids around at that age or at 65 chasing some 10 year old around.
Howard said that even Gary said he's not sure he would want to chase more kids around if he got divorced and married again. Howard said that Fred is going through that now but this is his first time around.
Howard asked Fred if he would do it again. Fred said that his wife is too old to be doing that again so they wouldn't do it. He said that they are loving their daughter though.
Gary said that he has fun with his kids. He said that he was telling Jerry that the worst time is when the kids don't do anything around that 9 month old time. Howard said that's the easiest part. He said when they get older and start running around is when it gets tough.
Gary said that he got a note from someone saying that they all secretly hate having kids but he really doesn't. Howard said that Gary really enjoys having kids and he loves having his daughters but he doesn't want to go through the whole thing again with babies.
Howard said that some people have no idea what they're in for when they have kids. He said that someone told Beth in private that it's a nightmare to have kids. Robin said most people don't tell you that kind of stuff. Howard said that most women won't tell another woman that. Howard said this person has an occupation where most of her patients tell her this kind of stuff. She shared that with Beth. Howard said that the women say they can't stand sex with their husbands any more and it's just draining overall.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jerry was saying that Howard's marriage isn't going to last if he doesn't let Beth have a kid. Howard said he thinks that Jerry is kind of jealous of his marriage because even Jerry wasn't ready to have kids. He admitted that yesterday. Howard said that John Stamos got to have the fun Rebecca and Jerry got the serious mom Rebecca. Howard said he thinks that Jerry would admit that he's jealous in private.
Howard played more Wrap Up Show clips where Jerry talked about his masturbation and things like that. Howard played some clips of Jason talking about his marriage and the issues he has with having sex because of his fear of getting his wife pregnant.
Howard played some of the Beth clips from the Wrap Up Show too. They went through that and then Gary asked him to play some of the jerry O'Connell stuff where he talked about the letter he wrote to People magazine. Howard said it was enough of the Wrap Up Show stuff. He told Gary to go twitter it instead.
Another caller said that he wanted to thank Robin for mentioning the Spa channel last year. He said he loves listening to that when he's going to sleep. The caller also said that he heard that the Beyonce clip he played on the air the other day was a fake. Howard said he heard about that but he had gotten it off the internet from someone who sent it in and he thought it was legitimate.
Howard said that they're saying that the Beyonce clip is a fake and he wasn't the one who broke the story. Howard said he just had it sent to him. Howard said the guy who had the clip is saying that it's a fake. Howard read an article about that. The guy who posted it was from some site called HelloHomo.com or something like that.
Howard got a clip of the Tradio guy's voice being extended like he had asked for. Howard played that and thought it was pretty funny.
Howard played the Beyonce clip he was talking about and said that it really did sound like it could be Beyonce's voice. JD came in and said that he feels like an asshole because it's obviously a fake. Howard said that he might not be an asshole because sometimes the board feed can be like that. JD said he saw the actual performance and saw that Beyonce wasn't lip syncing that day and she sounded fine that day.
Howard played the allegedly fake clip and still thought that it could be real. Fred said that it was a good fake if it was a fake one. Howard and the guys laughed as they listened along to that.
Howard said he would like to know if it was really a fake or a real clip. Robin said she still thinks that it's real.
Howard said it is sad to him that Blue is gone if she is gone. Howard said that Beth was leaving yesterday and Beetlejuice was yelling out her name yesterday when she was leaving. Robin said that Beetlejuice was walking around there very lucid yesterday. She said he called her over and he gave him a hug. Beet even noticed that she was getting skinnier and skinnier. Howard said that maybe he's like an idiot savant and he can pay attention sometimes.
Sal came in and said that Beetlejuice may have been put up to do some stuff yesterday because he said he hadn't seen Sal in months when he was asked about him right there in his studio. Artie said that he's not very consistent and he hardly knows anyone all the time.
Sal said they give Beetlejuice fake money to give out when he's out on the road and he's clueless about that. He said he's actually a great guy.
Howard said Tim was calling him yesterday asking if he wanted to do a tribute to Blue Iris. Howard said that Sal and Richard are the guys who should host a special like that. Howard said that the woman is dying and he's not sure that Sal and Richard could handle something like that with the woman being on life support.
Sal said that he and Richard don't trust themselves to do the tribute either. He said that they were thinking about pre-recording the show and get some input form the other Wack Packers and do it that way. Sal said Tim wants to do it live though. Howard asked if they would want to do it. Richard said that they won't do anything rude if they do the tribute show.
Richard and Sal said they know a lot of stuff about Blue Iris and they would never tell them on the air. Sal said they know a lot of stuff that they could talk about but it's not the right time for that.
Howard said he'll let Sal and Richard do that show. Sal said that they won't cross the parameters of sensitivity on the show. Howard said he should do a tribute to her himself but not to the extent that they'll do one.
Sal told Howard that they like the radiator call she made one time. Sal said the word ''radiator'' in an odd way so Howard picked up on that and goofed on Sal for saying it wrong. He said it was a ''rad'' instead of a ''ray'' so Howard goofed on him about that for a few minutes. Sal said that's the way they said the word where he lived on Long Island.
Sal and Artie were arguing about the way to say some Italian words and Howard thanked them for that. Sal didn't get the hint that he wanted them to get the fuck out. Sal said that he and Richard should just stay in there. Then Howard rolled his eyes in a way that warned Sal that he should get out so he left.
Howard said that he hooked Eric up with the guy and he has some ideas for Eric to do a reality show. Robin wished Eric luck with that.
Eric said that he heard that Richard, on Twitter, thought they were going to talk to him about something today. Howard said he doesn't think that Richard is on Twitter. Howard asked Eric if he wanted to comment on Blue Iris today. Eric said he's not a fan because she prank called him a couple of times.
Howard asked Eric if he thought the right people were kicked off of Idol last night. Eric had some thoughts on that show and said that he hasn't been voting once in the last two seasons or so. Howard said that's insane. Artie told Eric that he should go fuck himself. Eric called him a fat tub of shit. Howard got a laugh out of that. Artie said that Eric has more time to go fuck himself if he's not voting on American Idol.
Eric tried to insult the Yankees by talking about how long it took them to beat the A's. Howard said that arguing that they're not that great by saying that they beat his team isn't that great of an argument.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's a paraplegic and he doesn't bitch as much as Eric does. He said that Eric needs to grow up. The guy said that he has a positive attitude toward life and Eric doesn't. Eric said that he does have a positive attitude and called the guy a shithead.
Howard asked the caller and Eric if they would do a wheelchair jousting event. Robin knew that Eric would say no to that. Eric wasn't up for it and just insulted the caller instead.
Howard gave Eric a ''bye for now'' and Eric actually said it back to him. Howard said he was surprised he got that out of him finally. Howard said that hopefully they'll be seeing Eric on a TV show soon.
Howard played a clip of Blue calling Richard about being in the hospital with her feet being swollen and being unable to urinate because of her kidneys being screwed up. She thought it was ''probably nothing.'' Robin said that she could downplay any illness.
Howard said that Iris was a pisser. He said that she sang some songs too and played a couple of examples of her singing. Robin asked if they're going to retire that stuff. Howard and Fred quickly said ''no!'' to her on that.
Howard played a prank call the guys made using Blue Iris audio clips. They had her talking to a woman who was threatening to shoot her with a shot gun if she kept calling. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Beetlejuice was up there yesterday shooting his reality show. That's why he was there yesterday.
Artie said that he's going to be doing a benefit show for that woman Angel on Saturday night. He said that they're doing it at 11:45 on Saturday night. Artie said you can find out more at GothamComedyClub.com.
Artie said that Joey Kola is going to give some of the proceeds from his show to the woman as well for this benefit. Howard said he got a lot of positive feedback about the benefit show that they talked about yesterday. Howard read through some of those emails where people were talking about how nice it was that he was going to do that.
Lisa said they have been following the Blue Iris story and they heard from her husband Ron about how he hasn't taken her off of life support yet.
Lisa said that Bubba the Love Sponge is turning 43 years old today. He's feeling that he's getting old and he doesn't want to hear from people about the birthday. Howard said that's kind of funny that Bubba is feeling old because he used to bash him for being older than him. Howard said that Bubba is going to be the old guy now and the younger guys are going to goof on him.
Lisa said that she spoke to Bubba about dieting and asked if he could ever do what Robin has been doing. Bubba told her that he can't eat that kind of stuff. He has to eat meat and potatoes.
Howard said that Robin had Dr. Roni up there yesterday and they were running around doing a whole TV show thing. Robin said it was CBS Sunday Morning that was following them around. Howard said it was like a three ring circus. Howard said that Dr. Roni appears to have no problem getting into the building but his wife does. Go figure.
Lisa said that she was talking to some people about the Beyonce tape and they have something called Auto Tune that gets the right pitch for some singer's voices. She said that they told her that some performers there at SIRIUS have used it but they won't tell her who they were. Howard let Lisa go after that.
Howard said that Ross Matthews is known as Ross the Intern on the Tonight Show. He's now out on his own doing his own thing. Ross came in a few seconds later.
Howard said that Ross has this web based show called Web Talk that's on TheInsider.com. Howard asked Ross about coming out of the closet to his parents and how that went. Ross said that his parents were very accepting and they supported him when he did come out. He said that it was no big deal when he did come out.
Howard said that even Liberace thought that Ross was too gay. Ross said that he had girlfriends and he has banged a chick. Ross said that he was in but he didn't finish with the chick. Howard said you'd think that you'd finish just from it feeling so good. Ross said that he went down on the chick and it was nasty. He said that it was just a jungle down there. He said that's about the time that he knew that he was into guys. Ross said that he broke up with her around that time.
Howard asked Ross about that time he had sex and didn't finish with the girl. Ross said that the girl knew that there was something wrong at the time.
Howard asked Ross how long he waited before he met up with a guy and took him. Ross said that maybe he didn't take someone, maybe he was the one who was taken. Ross said that he's in a relationship now for the first time ever. He said he used to be overweight and it wasn't that easy for him to get guys.
Howard asked Ross if he was an anal virgin. As soon as he mentioned that Fred played some farting sounds and made Ross laugh. Ross said that he did oral on guys and that was about it. He said that he wasn't into the anal stuff. Howard said he can see Ross being into that kind of stuff being the ''queen'' type.
Howard asked if that girlfriend he had is still in contact with him. He said that he's in contact through Facebook. Howard wondered how she didn't know how he was gay based on the voice he has. Ross wasn't sure about that either. Ross talked about the mess that is the vagina and how he was shocked at how much flesh there was down there when he went down on the chick.
Howard asked Ross about Stuttering John being on the Tonight Show and if he was surprised by that. Ross said that he is a stutterer so it was kind of a shock when they announced he was coming to the show. Howard said he'd like his inside take on the whole thing. He said that they wanted John over there to do bits and stuff but they don't really use him a lot like he thought they were going to. Howard said that Jay and John used to go out on dates and stuff and now they don't use him at all on the show.
Ross said he doesn't know about the wooing of John but he was on a lot in the beginning. Ross said that he was on less and less himself too so that might happen with everyone. Ross said he spoke to John last night letting him know that he was coming on the show. He said that John does a great job as the announcer and everyone gets less time on the show over the years. Howard said he thinks that they're using him less and less but even more than usual.
Ross said that John has asked him why he isn't on the show much. He did a great impression of John asking him about that. Howard said he was shocked to learn that John might not be going with Jay to the new show. He said he thinks that show is going to fail anyway. He said maybe he's wrong. Howard said that Ross and John haven't been told if they're going to the new show. Ross said that he's not sure if anyone has been told yet. He said that he's not sure what the new show is going to be. Howard said that they must have to lock in some people for the show and someone must be hired already. Ross said that they probably did keep some people.
Howard asked Ross about how he got this blog thing going. Ross said that he always thought about being a talk show host and he ended up lucking out with the Tonight Show giving him a shot at doing interviews and stuff. He said that he worked on the show as an intern but they did pay him some money to work on the show. He said that he made enough to live out in L.A. but he drives a Prius so he's not making huge money. Howard said that John must be making more than Ross is. Ross said that John is the announcer so of course he makes more money.
Howard said that Ross has a lot of celebrity friends. Ross talked about being on Celebrity Fit Club with Maureen McCormick and how great she was. He said he lost 44 pounds himself. He said that Dustin Diamond was on the show too but he was a total asshole. Ross said that he was a douche. Howard asked why he was such a douche. Ross said that the whole world was against him so his defenses went up right away. Ross said he tried to be his friend and tell him that not everyone is against him. He didn't want to hear that from him though.
Howard asked Ross about other people who have been assholes to him. Ross said that the people who have something to prove are the real assholes. He said that people can be very mean to him and that's the kind of people who are like that.
Howard asked Ross what he would do if Letterman asked him to be the announcer on his show. Ross said he wouldn't work for Letterman. He said he loves his show too but he wouldn't do it because of the gratitude he has for Jay. Howard said that Jay got his introduction through Letterman and he ended up back stabbing him so there's nothing wrong with that. Ross said he just can't see doing something like that.
Howard asked Ross about this blog he's doing for TheInsider.com. Ross said he gets to go on the gay cruises all the time and has fun doing that stuff.
Ross said that he was on a cruise with comedian Ant and Ant told the story about having sex with a 70 year old couple on that cruise and had no idea that it had gone on until he heard it on Howard's show that time.
Howard asked Ross what he does on the cruise. Ross said he hosts some Karaoke stuff on there. He said that he would like to have a normal life like Howard has. He said that he wants to be married and have security like he does. Howard asked if he would marry his boyfriend. Ross said that they've only been together for 5 months and he is in love with him, but he's not sure about the marriage thing.
Howard asked Ross about being friends with Gwyneth Paltrow. Ross said he always liked her. Howard said his wife really likes her too. Ross said that Brad Pitt had thanked her on the Golden Globes one time and he just wanted to be her friend after he saw that. Ross said that he asked Gwyneth for a hug one time and gave her his email address and they ended up emailing back and forth and became friends. He said that their fathers died around the same time and that worked out in their favor. Howard said that must have been perfect for them. He said that having them die at the same time was great planning. He asked Ross if they had a double funeral. Ross said they didn't do that.
Ross said that he and Gwyneth have hung out in London at her home there. Howard asked if she gets naked in front of him. He said that sometimes women do that but she never did that with him. Howard asked what she wears around the house. Ross said that she pulled up on a motorcycle one time and she was wearing a helmet and pulled that off and shook out her long blond hair. Howard said that's pretty cool that he's friendly with her and Rosie O'Donnell and people like that.
Howard read that Ross is friendly with Lisa Rinna too. Ross said that they're not as close as Rosie and Gwyneth. Howard said that he told Lisa about her lips being too big. Ross said that she's very pretty in person and gorgeous. Howard said of course she is. Robin said that the lip thing might look normal out in L.A. since so many people look like that out there.
Howard gave Ross some more plugs and mentioned that you can read his blog at HelloRoss.com. He took a call after that and the guy said that this show was too gay for him today.
Ross asked to talk to Eric the Midget because he loves him. Howard had Eric on the phone and Eric was right there. Howard said that it's very hard to talk to Eric on the phone. Ross saw Eric on the JFSC feed and asked him to wave to him. Ross said that it was very difficult to talk to him. He said it was nice to meet him.
Fred kept playing clips of Eric that were just pissing Eric off. Eric said that he had a bat there that he could smash his fingers with.
Eric said that he saw that Jay stole a joke from Regis Philbin last week. He said that it was almost the same joke that Regis had done. Howard said he didn't know that and Artie said he didn't know that either. Fred played some more Eric lines that they had edited together. Howard let Eric go a short time later. Artie didn't get why Eric was doing the joke thing lately. Howard said he's like the Joke Police.
Howard said that he's going to make Eric the captain of the joke police. Eric said he would take that title. Howard said he was looking at Eric and he was extra pimply this morning. He said that he had a couple on his face. One was on his nose and there was more on his forehead. Howard said they must hurt. Ross told him that it's okay, he has a zit too. Ross said that he wants to save Eric now.
Howard said that Eric wasn't shaving and he looked like Don Johnson with the scruff. Howard asked if he's been told he looks like that. Eric said he used to watch that show but he doesn't get that from many people. Howard asked if he was trying to emulate that look. Eric said no as Fred started to play the ''Miami Vice'' theme song. Howard let Eric go a short time later.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he had never heard Ross before but he finds his laugh infectious. Ross said that he liked that he got a positive call. Another guy said that he was ''one funny fag.'' Ross said that he might have to buy that domain.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that she loves Ross too. Ross thought that Howard was just taking nice calls but he claimed he wasn't. Howard wrapped up with him a short time later.
Howard came back and said that they were talking about that piece of equipment that makes you sound on key. Howard said that Richard pulled Gary into a studio and told him to sing and it kind of worked. Howard played the audio of Gary singing a song and it made him sound like he was in tune. Howard said it was actually working. Robin couldn't believe it was Gary. He was singing the Steve Miller Band's ''Fly Like an Eagle.'' Howard joked that Gary just got signed to a label based on that song.
He said he had a lot of other things to play today. He said that Yucko has been trying to get on the show and he left a voice mail about his kidney stone. Howard said that Yucko used that to his advantage. He left a message as if he were Gary's kidney stone and told him to book Yucko or he was going to stay in that ureter to make sure he didn't get it out easy.
Howard said that Yucko kind of screwed it up by saying that he was the kidney stone and he'd better ''book me.'' He played a few more clips of Yucko calling Gary all day long trying to get on the show. He was yelling at Gary to call him.
Howard said that Ass Napkin Ed called Gary and he wasn't even able to remember why he called or what his phone number was. Artie said that used to happen to him when he'd call him too. Howard played that call where Ed said that he had to talk to him about some stuff. He tried to give him his number but couldn't remember it. He told Gary he should have it.
Gary said he did remember it later in another call. Howard played another one where Ed talked about buying the Pocket Pussy and broke it so he asked Gary if he knew how to fix it. Howard wondered if Gary knew how to fix that thing. Gary said he had no idea what he was talking about.
Howard said that Sal gave his son a birthday gift where he made an Indiana Jones fake boulder to make this movie. He said that Sal's friend Dennis called and said that he made the boulder and Sal didn't offer to pay him or anything. Howard played that voice mail where Dennis said that he was the one who spent 15 hours making that thing. He said that he spent his own money on the boulder and Sal didn't make it like he claimed he did. Dennis said that Sal kept saying that he made the boulder and even told him that he was going to plug him. He said that Sal is a douche and a dick and he had to call him out on that. Dennis said that Sal's pasta also sucked that day at the party.
Howard said that the pasta comment might bother Sal even more than the boulder thing. Howard said it's an interesting world where Sal has guys making stuff and takes credit. Sal came in and said that this asshole is the jerk off who believes in aliens. Sal said that he did make the boulder but who gives a shit. Sal said that he did help make the boulder and this guy is trying to take all of the credit. Sal said that Dennis offered to make the boulder and he helped out with it. Howard said that the boulder looks like shit too. He saw it in the movie that Sal made for his son. Howard had the guys show that to the guys.
Sal said he put the video up for Gary and Jon Hein to see and it is up on the internet. Sal said that was his son Aaron. He said that Dennis is a pot smoking dirt bag and he wouldn't know what good pasta is.
Dennis called in and said that Sal will attack anyone who helps him out. He said that they're great friends. Sal asked him why he would do this to him then. Dennis said that he hears what Sal says and it upsets him. Sal said that he's sorry he didn't give him credit for the boulder.
Dennis said that he's upset that Sal called this boulder thing a piece of shit after he spent 15 hours working on it. Howard said he gets it but he had to cut him off. Howard said that Sal lives in some whacked out world.
Howard played another message that Dennis left where he talked about the boulder again. Dennis said that Sal is also taking some stuff from his life and making it into his Show in the Hallway shows. Sal said that the guy is crazy. Howard told Sal that his friends are crazy.
Howard said that Sal called in from the train today because he was late and he sounds like he's in prison. Sal said that people will pummel you if you talk too loud. Howard played that clip where Sal was kind of whispering and trying to let them know that he was going to be late.
Howard played the audio of Riley complaining about the shows he did on the week of March 23rd. He said that they did 6 hours that week and he got paid for 3 hours. Riley said that he called Tim's assistant and he was told that they get paid a flat rate for a show and not per hour. Riley said that he thought that they were going to pay him more for those longer shows. Riley had a whole formula for how things should have worked and how they actually did it. He went on and on about that.
Riley was saying that they must have gotten a good laugh out of making him work all of those hours and only paying him for 3. He figured Howard was in on that too. Riley said that there is no humanity in the world when something like that happens. Riley said that there will always be thieving, underhanded people on this Earth and went on and on about how it broke his heart.
Howard said he was saying to himself that if the guy needs money for phone bills and food, maybe he should get a real job. Howard said that he does an hour a week there and he could pay his bills with a job that he could do during the hours of the week he's not working. Howard said that the show has become his whole lifestyle.
Tim Sabean came in and said that he agrees with Riley but he had to clarify something in his contract. Tim said that he has been taken care of for the four hours since then so he will get paid for that. Tim said that he has a contract there and he just had to go through that and figure some stuff out. Tim said they had to have in the contract that they own the content. Howard and Robin got a laugh out of that.
Howard said that Riley really does have to find something else to make him money. He said that he only has an hour a week show and it's not a career. Howard said that no one is trying to pull anything over on the guy. Howard said that they do own his content though.
Howard played an example question which was ''Who is the Vice President of the United States?'' The caller said that both of them won't know the answer. Howard said that he was going to make this one of the questions that would count for this caller. Howard played the answers and Bobo didn't know the answer and neither did Big Foot. The caller got that one right.
Howard said that the caller had to get two more out of 5 right. Howard played the next one which was ''What is venison?'' The caller said Bobo No, Big Foot yes. Bobo knew it was deer meat, Big Foot thought it was ''like having credit or sompin.''
Next was ''Who invented the telephone?'' The caller guessed that both wouldn't know. Howard played their answers and Bobo said ''Ma Bell'' and Big Foot had no idea.
Next up was ''What do tadpoles grow up to be?'' The caller said that he was going to say that both would know it. Bobo said a praying mantis and Big Foot knew it was frogs. Howard couldn't believe that Bobo didn't know it was a frog.
The next one was ''Who gave the United States the Statue of Liberty?'' The caller said that both wouldn't know it. Bobo said ''France'' and Big Foot said ''China.'' Howard ended up giving the caller the prize even though he had lost the game on this final question. Howard said that the guy was blind and had some other health issues. Howard asked if he was a fat guy. The guy said that he was and he didn't take care of himself. Howard gave him the money anyway.
Howard played some more questions like...
Gary had screwed up and tried to joke about something Robin had said about the stars on the flag. Howard told Gary to pay attention and just Twitter.
Howard said that Gary was told he has a kidney stone and he might have to have the numbing and the camera shoved in his shaft. Howard said that Johnny has endured all kinds of pain and this is the most horrible thing to have the camera in there. Johnny said that you don't feel that so much and the worst part is the humiliation of sitting there half naked with your penis out.
Johnny said that on a scale of 10 the pain was a 2 or 3 and the thought of it was about an 11. He said the actual pain wasn't that bad. Gary said that twas a Johnny Knoxville 2 or 3 is a regular guy's 11. Johnny said it really wasn't that bad. Howard said that it has to be painful though.
Johnny said that he has to use that catheter thing and he's at the maximum size right now. He said that he can't go any bigger. Johnny said that the catheter is really painful the first few times and it really burns when you use it. He said that he's used to it now so it's not that bad. Howard said he can't imagine shoving one up there like that. Johnny said that he's going to send him one so he can see the size of it. Johnny laughed and said that it's actually awful.
Johnny injured himself doing a stunt for ''Nitro Circus.'' Artie said that he saw his stunt and the show is great. Johnny said that Travis (Pastrana) has broken his penis 3 times. Howard said that if he had to shove something in his penis that would be the main focal point in his life but Johnny doesn't seem to think that much about it.
Johnny said he uses the catheter first thing in the morning and then about 6 or 8 hours later after he's done doing whatever he's doing.
Johnny said that he saw a video of a guy who had a screwdriver in his penis and the handle was actually in there. Johnny said that he'd send them the clip if they give him an email address. Howard said that he wants to see Artie throw up after watching that. Johnny said that they might have to stick a Pringles can in their penises for Jackass 3.
Howard asked Johnny about Steve-O on Dancing with the Stars and how robotic he seemed to be on there. Johnny said that he was really trying to keep it in line and took it very seriously. Howard said that he thinks that he took it too serious. Johnny said that Steve hurt his back on the show and he had told him that he was going to have his dance partner kick him in the balls at the end of the routine. Johnny told him not to do that because that's what they'd expect from him. He said that Steve Wozniak gave him the same advice and convinced Steve to take it seriously.
Howard said that they see Steve-O doing enough of that stuff and taking it seriously is the right way to do it.
Howard said that Johnny is doing a lot of documentary type stuff and they followed Steve through his whole rehab and stuff. Johnny said that it's shocking to watch some of that stuff and they're going to have a special on MTV about that.
Howard said he felt so bad for the neighbor that Steve-O had because he tortured the guy. Howard said that he was terrorizing him like you could never imagine. He videotaped it all too. Johnny said that Steve was doing like 600 vials of nitrous a day and things like that. Johnny said he thinks that show is coming out on May 3rd. Howard said that he just got a note and said that it will be on May 3rd on MTV.
Artie told Johnny how great ''Nitro Circus'' is and mentioned one stunt that they did between two hot air balloons and how much fun they seemed to be having while they did it. Howard said that all of the injuries Johnny has gotten haven't seemed to slow him down. Artie said they have the greatest spirit and they're always happy doing this stuff.
Howard said that Johnny has come close to dying so many times and he just keeps it going. Robin said she thinks that he stepped it up in the last Jackass movie.
Howard asked Johnny about his girlfriend and asked if they're still together. Johnny said that he and Naomi are still together.
Artie asked Johnny if he would do another Jackass even though he has the catheter thing going on. Johnny said that wouldn't come into play at all. He would still do it.
Howard asked Johnny about the stunts they do and if he still wants to do that stuff. Johnny said that when Travis jumped out of the plane with no parachute, he wanted to do the same thing. Howard asked if they were the guys from West Virginia. Johnny said that they have some other guys that they did a documentary about and those guys are from West Virginia.
Johnny talked about the documentary he made about the guys from West Virginia and how he wants Howard to see it. He said it's totally different than the Jackass type of thing. He said that they live a very violent lifestyle and 7 of these 10 kids have died violently. Johnny said that they snort pain pills, robbing liquor stores after huffing gasoline and stuff like that. Johnny said that he had video of one guy talking about getting shot in the face with a shotgun and picking up his eye so he could see again and then getting shot again. He said that it's crazy stuff.
Howard asked if the show if funny. Johnny said that there are funny parts but there are also very disturbing parts. Johnny said that you don't see them robbing the stores or anything but there is some crazy stuff.
Richard came in and said that he's a huge fan of the family that Johnny is talking about. He said that they had a video out years ago that was great. He said this guy is a tap dancer but he sniffs gas and airplane glue.
Johnny told Howard how he found out about this family and how they put the documentary together. Richard said he can't wait to go see the movie. He said the trailer for it is great. Howard said he would like to see the Wild Whites of West Virginia and also some of the other stuff he's working on.
Johnny said that he and Roger Alan Wade are also doing a show on the Outlaw country channel there at SIRIUS XM. Richard asked Johnny a question about the ''Uncle Goddamn'' video that was out. Johnny had heard of it so Richard told him that he should do a documentary about that family too.
Howard let Johnny go a short time later. Johnny said he had to go do the catheter thing. Howard said that he had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and asked where the dragged out ''Tradiooooo'' clip was. He said it was gone from his system. He figured he might have deleted it. Gary told Howard where it was. Howard found it but it had lost its impact by that point. Howard played the clip anyway. He still got a laugh out of it. He had to play it one more time.
Howard said that he'd like to have those clips on his computer to listen to. He said they'd be great as ringtones too.
Howard said he just got a bunch of Blackberry accessories for his phone. He said that they have a rubber cover for it and he didn't like that. Robin said that it might be necessary though. She had a friend that dropped theirs without one and it broke. Howard said he got a bunch of stuff and he may have taken some of the stuff that Robin was supposed to get for her phone.
Robin said that she saw that the Apple people took down one of their apps that was a baby shaking game. Howard said that might be a good idea to take that down. Howard said he thinks Jerry O'Connell developed that app.
Howard said that he and his youngest daughter are texting each other all the time now. He said they love it. Howard said that they ping each other all the time. Robin didn't know what that was. Howard said he's not going to teach her.
Howard said he used to make fun of Artie texting but now he's doing it all the time himself. Artie said that's the way younger people are communicating now. Howard said that he has a rubber mat that they gave him that keeps your phone from sliding around in your car. Robin said she's seen that but it's ugly in your car. Howard said that they have a battery charger accessory too but it didn't fit his phone. Howard said that he'll bring some of that stuff back for Robin.
Howard thought they were boring Mike but Mike said he was really riveted listening to that stuff. Howard still thought he was bored by it. Mike talked about his iPhone and some of the cool stuff they have on that. He said he uses a voice recorder all the time on his iPhone.
Howard said that he sends voice messages to Robin at times and just tells her that he's sending her a voice mail message. Mike said that there are a lot of cool apps that you can use to make your phone into an instrument and things like that. Howard said that there are some cool things but weird too.
Howard had Mike get to his game so here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard was also talking to Robin about the detox stuff she's been doing with Dr. Roni and her partner James. Howard said that they were busy with all of that yesterday up there. Howard said that Tim is Robin's favorite person now that he's lost a ton of weight on her diet. Robin said that she's going to be doing a soup for Tim on Monday and they'll be souping together. Howard said that Robin and Tim have been hugging every day now. He said that it's like they're in this war with each other now.
Howard said that Robin is at a whole new level with Tim because of that diet thing. Robin said that she's just happy that Tim was able to lose the weight and get to the point he's at now. Robin said that she's like a teacher and that's why they're so close. She said that she taught him well and she may have to start Twittering with people about the diet thing.
Robin was talking about how they have Howard's assistant Laura on the diet now. Howard talked to her about that and asked her about how her shits are. Robin said that she's been shitting just fine and sometimes she's amazed at how big they can be. Howard sounded disgusted by that. He had to move along after that.
Steve said that they took a look at Eric the Midget's Twitter feed and gave some of the lines that Eric has been posting lately. Howard said he might want to go on there and look at what he's up to.
Steve said that Gary is set to host a careers in media speech tonight at Adelphi University. Howard did an impression of Gary making that speech. Gary said he's not making a speech, he's just doing a Q&A on a panel with some other people. Howard said he would love to see him doing that. Gary said he knows he won't come because he has so little patience.
Howard said he went out bowling with Ross and beat him. Ross claimed that he had never bowled but it turns out he was the captain of a bowling team. Ross said he was actually co-captain. Howard said that's not cool to say that he never bowled. Howard said that Ross was really good and claimed that he had never played. Ross' wife actually told him that he had played in college.
Gary said that he beat Ross one. He was also the captain of his bowling team in school. Howard said that they're all gay.
Howard said that he probably could have been a professional chess player making $3,500 a year if he had done that in school. Howard said that you have to learn that stuff when you're young if you want to be really good at that kind of stuff. Robin asked what you can learn at his age and become really good at. Howard said maybe wheelchair related stuff.
Steve said Peter Principato will be at Adelphi with Gary as well. That's the guy that Artie pretty much fired on the air last year. Artie said it wasn't on the air, it was a conversation they had off the air after that when he fired the guy.
Howard goofed on Gary about what he'll be talking about at Adelphi and said that he'll be bragging about how he Twitters for a living now. Howard asked what he's going to discuss. Gary said that they asked him to be on this panel and he found it helpful when he was going there so he wanted to give back.
Howard did his impression of Gary and kept making fun of this panel he's going to be on. Gary said that he once made an appearance at Madison Square Garden where he had to go out as a clown and he had to wear the outfit that Gary the Retard had worn before and it hadn't been cleaned. Gary said they had him in a barrel and they were going to release some bulls so he took that thing off and ran right out of the ring.
Steve said that Richard and Sal will be hosting the Blue Iris special next Monday night at 7 on Howard 101. Howard got back to goofing on Gary for a couple more minutes. They talked about some of the other stuff Gary had to do in the past on the show like wearing gorilla outfits.
Jon Hein came in next and ran down his list of subjects for today's Wrap Up Show. That led to Howard playing more of the Bobo vs. Big Foot clips. They were asked how many sides an octagon had. Big Foot even knew the answer to that. Howard said he didn't know how dumb Bobo was. Artie said he was pretty sure he knew how dumb he was. Howard said he thought he was kind of bright.
Howard played a bunch of the questions and Bobo did get a few correct answers. Big Foot was getting more wrong. They were asked what the longest river was and Big Foot thought it was the ''Connecticut river.''
Gary said that they should have Sal answer the same questions. Sal said he was just doing his job. Fred had found that the longest river was actually the Missouri river and Sal had that answer wrong. Sal said that it was the Mississippi river. Sal said no one cares about the Missouri.
Howard had Mutt on the line to talk about what they had coming up on Superfan Roundtable tonight. Mutt said they'll be talking about things like High Pitch Eric's stalking of a woman and things like that. Howard said he thought that Eric was going to come on the show today. Gary said he'll be in on Monday morning. Mutt said that they'll also talk about Artie's benefit show for that woman, Angel, that Eric was stalking. Artie got in another plug for that benefit show that's on Saturday night at 11:45pm at the Gotham Comedy Club.
Mutt said that they'll be talking about Howard's baby talk and also about Jerry O'Connell's jerking off in his kitchen and stuff like that. That's all on Superfan Roundtable tonight at 7pm on Howard 101.
Robin read some news about how the Mets and Yankees are maintaining their value while other teams are losing their values.
Robin had a story about take a child to work day and said that there were none there today. Howard said that he doesn't mind that kind of thing but the kids do miss out on a day of school. He said he used to take them when they were really young but not so much when they were older. Fred said he won't be bringing his daughter there with the group of people he works with. He said that he has co-workers who like to sniff kid's underwear. He said he won't encourage that kind of thing.
Robin said that her nephew told her that they showed him Sybian rides back in the Howard TV room. She said that was kind of rude. Artie said that the kid is 24 years old. Robin said that he was younger then.
Robin read that the housing market may be getting a boost from first time homeowners who are trying to get some of the foreclosed homes out there.
Hanzi called in and said that he asked Bree Olson if she would fuck him since he hasn't gotten laid in 3 years and she said yes. Howard told Hanzi that it was actually him and he's going to have to fuck him. Howard said that he's not even sure it's the real Bree Olson. Hanzi said that he knows that it's really her. Howard said he can't help him out with that, he's not a pimp. He wished Hanzi luck with working that out.
Eric the Midget was back on the phone and said that he had his bat behind him to smash his fingers. Fred was playing some of his clips that were pissing Eric off. Fred told Eric to hit his camera with his bat. Eric said he wasn't going to hit his camera.
Eric said that he was on Twitter earlier and saw that they reported that they got fooled by the Beyonce recording. Howard said he's not sure he was fooled. He said that he just played a clip that he fond on the internet. Howard said he wants Eric to tell those people that he wasn't fooled, he just played the clip he found on the internet.
Howard said Eric's room looked kind of cool. He said he has a lot of fun stuff in there. Fred asked if he has a box of diapers in there. Eric told Fred that he doesn't have a box of diapers in there ''...you jackass.'' Howard said Eric has a lot of ''things'' in his room and they're pretty cool.
Eric was showing them some of the stuff in there. Howard asked for a tour of his desk so he could check the stuff out. Howard asked what the plastic thing was to the right of his mouse. Eric said it was his SIRIUS control. Howard asked Eric what he does at his desk. Eric said he has his PC over there. Howard said the desk looked nice. He said he's obsessed with desks. Howard said he was in therapy and found out why he's obsessed but it was a long story.
Howard said that he can't buy enough desks and he loves sitting at them. He said that Beth knows about that. He said it has nothing to do with his little penis though.
Howard let Eric go and ended up talking about that Beyonce tape and how he's still not positive that it was a fake tape.
Robin read a story about the Indian guy who tried to sell his 9 year old daughter for almost $300,000. She said that he has been released and there is no evidence that he did anything wrong. Howard said that every newspaper must have been fooled with that story then because it was all over the place.
Robin had more about the Craigslist killer. Howard said he read a story about him trying to force himself on a girl in college. She also talked about how he was a mammogram machine for Halloween. Howard said he thought that was kind of clever other than the part that he turned into an alleged killer.
Robin read a story about Cleopatra and Marc Antony's burial ground and how they may have found the location where they were buried. Robin said they may have found the tomb. Howard said he saw those two in a movie once and they were nuts. They had to take a break around that time.
After the break, around 10:25am, Howard had Robin get back to her news. Robin read a story about what people are giving as gifts to students graduating these days now that the economy is doing so poorly. Howard said that it all depends on who the kid is. He said that wealthy parents on Long Island give cars to their kids. Howard said that some people are giving voice messaging as gifts. Howard said that he's not even sure what that is. Robin said that one gift is to give a group gift.
Robin asked what you do to get your kid's grades up. She said that you give them money. Robin read a story about a study that was done about students chewing gum and how it may actually raise grades. The gum chewers had better final grades than the non-gum chewers.
Robin read a story about couples planning on marrying and how they should look into your partner to find out if they're willing to help you out in tough situations.
Robin read a story about a portrait by Pablo Picasso that's going on auction next month. It could bring in as much as $24 million. Fred threw in the Paris Hilton ''That's huge'' clip that they pulled earlier this week.
Robin read a story about a bra stopping a bullet. She said that a woman spotted some men trying to break into a house and got shot but the under wire of the bra slowed the bullet down and may have saved her life.
Robin read a story about a brother and sister that got into a fight over 3 pieces of candy. They were 22 and 27 years old. Robin said that they got arrested for damaging each other's cars during the fight. Robin said that one of them slashed the other's tires and the other one threw a concrete brick through a side window.
Robin read some news about Earth Day and some of the things that were going on. Howard kept having Fred play Paris Hilton saying ''huge.'' They had stretched that out so she said ''Huuuuuuge'' and Howard seemed to love that. They also played the Tradio clip that they had stretched out. They were having fun with all of those clips as Robin tried to work her way through her news.
Robin read about an actor from The Sopranos (Johnny Sack) who called TMZ to complain about Perez Hilton's question for Miss California in the Miss USA pageant. Howard played the audio of that. The guy wanted Perez to come after him like that.
Robin read a story about the CEO of Craigslist who is horrified that his site was used for something like the killings. The guy said that they have things in place to protect people. Robin had some audio of him talking about how they're looking into ways to help people stay safe. Howard said that they're not trying to keep people safe, it's a place where people meet other people. There are going to be evil people out there too so that's the kind of place they're going to meet those people. Howard and the guys came up with some questions they could ask people to keep them safe. They were throwing out a bunch of stuff.
Robin read about the CFO of Freddie Mac who was found dead in his home yesterday. Howard said he doesn't think that they'll find anyone from his show doing anything like that. He said he'd like it if someone there did that. They don't work themselves to death though. Robin said that he can't even get his own family in the building because people don't work that hard.
Robin read a story about a 7 year old boy who hanged himself after a previous suicide try. The kid tried to choke himself once before. Howard said that sounds like a story his mother would tell him about her childhood. Robin said that the boy should have been committed after that first try. The kid was a foster kid and claimed that he wanted to kill an infant in the home as well.
Robin read a story about Bristol Palin and the father of her child. She said that they're fighting over that. The father is trying to get custody since he hasn't been allowed to see the kid in a couple of weeks.
Robin read that Dog the Bounty Hunter was fired at while trying to take a guy into custody. Robin read that they fired on the guy with pepper balls since they didn't have real guns. The guy they were taking into custody took off on his motorcycle. They eventually caught up with the guy and took him into custody.
Robin read some news about the abuse at Guantanamo Bay. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how unfairly the soldiers were treated after that.
Robin read some news about Pakistan and what's going on over there. That led to more Paris Hilton clips being played.
Howard said he saw Billy Bob Thornton on Jimmy Kimmel the other night and he's really an asshole because he was talking to him like normal. Unlike the way he did that Canadian talk show. Howard said that he was talking about anything and everything on Jimmy's show. Howard said that Jimmy should have whipped him with a cane during that performance.
Robin had some clips of some actors talking about working with other actors and talking about how great they are. Howard predicted how this one guy was going to talk about how great the other guy was. The guy wasn't quite that blatant about it though.
Robin read some news about the new movie ''Obsessed'' and had some audio of Ali Lauder talking about working in the movie.
Robin had some other actor clips but Howard wasn't able to get through. He said that he just couldn't sit through that.
Howard got a clip from Jimmy Kimmel's show where Billy Bob's band, The Boxmasters, performed a song. Howard said that Billy Bob seemed like the nicest guy in the world on that show.
Robin had some news about the Jonas Brothers and had Howard and the guys trying to name the guys in the band. Robin said that they're going to be hosting the Teen Choice Awards this year.
Robin had a story about the new Disney movie ''Earth'' that's coming out. She had some audio of someone talking about that. The guy had a heavy English accent and Howard said that he sounded like Madonna.
Robin read a story about the new show ''Southland'' with Tom Sizemore in it. Howard said he was surprised that someone is putting up with him. Fred played a cuckoo clock sound as they were playing audio of him talking about the show. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:05am.
Gary said that Ross was an intern on the Tonight Show and on his very last day someone crapped out on an interview and they sent him instead. That led to them making him a regular there. Gary thought he was a good guy.
Gary said that Scott DePace said something very funny to him about Ross' voice. He said that Scott told him that ''...this guy should be allowed to get married.''
Jon said that this has turned into a career for him and Ross was saying that he's kind of blindly loyal to Jay Leno. Gary said that they're the same way with Howard there. He said that he was talking to Ross about the contract he had and if they had him stuck to that. He said he was signed to do it for 3 years but he wasn't making much money and he was out doing other things so they asked him to stay. Gary said that he should have asked for more money but it was like Ross had never thought of that before.
Gary said that they were talking about John in the green room and Ross was telling him about John getting upset with people for not going to his party and stuff out there. Gary said it sounds like John really hasn't changed much since he was there.
Gary said that John used to get mad at him and took it personally when he wouldn't go to his party. He said it seems that Ross really knows John well after reading his notes about him.
Benjy said that he never got why John would get upset with people for not going to his party. He took it very personally. Benjy was talking about how Ross was treating Eric the Actor the way everyone else treats him and he didn't get that. He said it kind of bugged him. Benjy said a gay person should be more respectful. Gary said that Ross was just picking on him because Eric acts like a jerk.
Jon took a call from a woman who brought up the Paris Hilton clips and said that there have been other people who use that ''that's huge'' line. Gary said he didn't think it was that big of a deal.
The caller was also saying that she doesn't get what the big deal is about Angelina Jolie. She's in the area and she really doesn't care about that. Jon heard that they're out on Long Island. The caller talked about how annoying they are.
Jon asked what the caller thought about Ross the intern. She said that she would tune in to see him because he was a great guest today.
Another caller said that Ross was as funny as shit. The guy also suggested that they mix things up more on Howard TV because he's waiting for more stuff all the time. He said that the archived shows don't change very often and he'd like to see more stuff on there other than the daily stuff. Gary said that he'd check with the Howard TV guys about that.
Gary asked the caller if he found it strange to find a gay guy funny. The caller said he was a little flamboyant than he'd like but the guy seemed like a nice guy after he heard him on the air for a little while. Jon said he heard that from a few people. Gary said that Ross is so gay that it's ridiculous to even say that he's gay.
Gary said that Sal and Richard don't mean any harm but he wouldn't trust them with his kids. He said that they don't know where that line is with the kids even though Sal has kids of his own.
Gary said he sees why Fred wouldn't want Sal around his kids. Benjy said that he doesn't think that Fred would answer honestly about who he likes and doesn't like there at the show.
Gary said that it's a trust thing with Fred and Sal. Gary talked about some things that have gone on in the past there. Gary said that sometimes Sal just doesn't get what he's doing wrong.
The guys talked about Sal and Richard and the show they're going to do for Blue Iris. They talked about Sal's comment about how he doesn't want to cross any lines and screw things up.
Sal came in and talked about some of the things that he's done around there that have gotten him into trouble. Sal said he knows not to do some stuff now that he's gone through that stuff.
Sal said that he has gotten into some trouble for doing things that he thought were funny that he just shouldn't have done on the air. He said he's had Howard visit him for stuff that he can't even mention on the air now.
Gary said he doesn't think that Howard dislikes Sal. Sal said he doesn't think so either. Sal said that if he left the show he thinks that Fred might go off on him like he did with Jackie and Stuttering John. Sal said that Fred has been nice to him over the years but he gets the feeling that he might go off on him.
Jon said that the freaky thing is that Gary didn't know that it was even in there. They talked about Johnny Knoxville's call and how he was talking about shoving stuff in his penis.
Jon said that the caller was going to ask about the thing that Gary is doing tonight at Adelphi. Gary said that he thought it would be helpful to the students because that's what it was for him when he was in school. He said that Steve Langford will be going with him tonight as well.
Another caller said that Howard should have done more for Blue Iris than he did today. Sal said that Howard is going to cut a clip for the special they're doing on Monday.
Sal said that he remembers talking to Iris and asking her about her real name. Sal said that he fell in love with her as a friend and it made him feel special that he knew her real name. They had to go to break after that.
Doug said that he's been getting people in the building for 2 and a half years and he's only had one other problem. Doug said that he saw that she was in the system and he's really not sure what happened. He said that Tim was supposed to look into it to find out what happened.
Doug said that he was told it was only 10 minutes she was down there too so Howard may have blown that out of proportion.
The guys talked about how serious their security is and how they can't just get up there if they don't have their ID. Doug said that if you don't have your ID they won't let you in even if they know you. Benjy said that they are doing their job but it's also a way to assert their power by saying no to you.
Gary said that at WNBC they had really tight security. He said that their guests could never get up there but the people on the tour could get in no problem. He said it was really weird.
Gary said that at the old building they worked at they had a guy who got fired because he threatened to beat Stuttering John up. Doug said they had problems at all of the places they've worked.
Gary said that Howard was giving Doug a hard time about that stuff and then Tim stepped in and took the bullet for Doug. Gary said that Tim said that this was a learning process but Howard pointed out that they've been there for 3 years now.
Jon asked what's up with Tim hugging Robin every day now. Gary said that he's a different guy today and he may have eaten some food yesterday so he was all wired.
Sal said Tim came in and talked to them about the Blue Iris thing yesterday and they asked him to go out to lunch at Del Fresco's and he ran out of there like they scared him with that. He said it was just a steak and not like it was going to kill him. Jon said that Robin has been in Tim's office every day lately. Gary wondered if she would still be in there if he gains that weight back.
Doug asked Gary if he would tape himself at the office. Gary said that he would put the camera on his face to show how he's feeling during that procedure. Gary said that the ultrasound is happening so he shouldn't have to take the catheter in there.
Jon asked Sal about the problem he had with Dennis this morning. Sal said he spoke to Dennis about it and he feels bad about what happened. He said that Dennis did help him with the boulder. He said that he spoke to Dennis and he was upset that he didn't mention that he had helped him. Sal said that he has that huge boulder there now and he wants to get rid of it so he called it a piece of shit and Dennis was upset about that too. Sal said that Dennis McDowell made an awesome boulder.
Gary asked Sal how he can't know how funny that whole thing is. Sal said that he did after he saw the look on Gary's face. Sal said the video they made was really cool too and he took that seriously. Benjy said that it was pretty amusing.
Gary and Sal talked about some Lego stuff that their kids have that they just can't stand. They have problems building that stuff.
Sal said that he had to agree with Dennis about the food that. He said that he didn't use enough garlic in the food he made and the pasta really wasn't that great. Sal said that everything else was fantastic though. Sal said that he just couldn't get that whole thing together that day. Sal said that Dennis confirmed what he thought and the pasta was shit. Sal said he thinks that he's a great cook usually but Dennis was right about that pasta that day. Sal talked about how he got hit over the head with a loaf of bread at this father's pizzeria when he was a kid. That's what he had to put up with when he was learning how to cook. They had to end the show a short time later.
This week's Best of the Week was over around 11:35am.