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Howard started off the show talking about the new Tradio prank calls that Sal and Richard have been making. Robin said she just found out that they have those shows all over the country in different markets. She said that they're going to drive them all crazy with those calls.
Howard said that they mentioned a parade on this one Tradio show so Sal and Richard kept asking about the parade over and over even after they were asked not to.
Howard played the calls where Richard and Sal keep asking about the parade information. They were told they weren't going to be talking about that anymore. Sal and Richard kept trying to ask about it. The two hosts were just hanging up on them over and over again. They were told that they had to direct those questions to the ''Cuca Culca'' and Howard wasn't sure what that meant. He thought that maybe it was their ''Baba Booey.''
Sal came in and said that they weren't answering the questions about the parade because they're trying to sell stuff. Sal said that they were kind of on to them by those calls because they had been calling them for weeks. Richard said they just wanted to sell stuff so they were trying to keep the show moving along.
Howard got back to the prank calls. He was cracking up hearing the hosts trying to handle the prank calls. They were trying to be serious and said that maybe they should find something better to do other than calling them like that. They were told over and over again that they weren't going to answer the parade questions.
Robin said she looked that Cuca Culca thing up and it was all in Spanish. She wasn't even sure how she figured out how to spell it. She was trying to find information on the web.
Howard said that he didn't know the whole Star Trek thing was still so big. Artie said that they had the actual captain's chair when they did the William Shatner roast.
Howard said they have Rob Schneider coming in. He's got a movie coming out on DVD and it's called ''Big Stan.'' Howard said he didn't think it came out in the movie theaters. He said he thinks it would have done good in the theater though. He said that it's kind of like a ''Deuce Bigelow'' type of thing. He explained what it's about and the guys were laughing at what he was telling them. Howard said that Rob's character beats up people in prison after he learns Karate from David Caradine.
Howard took a call from a guy who told them what the Cuca Culca thing meant and said it was about how gay the Mets are. Artie said that this guy is the guy who calls the Wrap Up Show every day and tells Gary how bad the Mets are. Artie said that he plays a clip of the Phillies beating the Mets in the last inning.
Gary said the guy has good topics for the Wrap Up Show but he never uses them and always just tells him how gay the Mets are. Gary said that he thinks that guy has gotten through to about 40 or 50 times in a row.
Artie said that he heard that Ed is trying to sell Meet and Greet tickets to a comedy show that he's going to be coming to. Artie said that he's got the tickets on eBay for like $160. Howard asked how that's going to work. Artie said that he's not sure but he hopes that the meeting and greeting is only with Ed. Artie said that he's not sure if he's going to be doing that back stage because that's not what he wants.
JD said that the ad says that it's about meeting Artie and enjoying free food back stage. Artie sounded shocked by that. He said that there is free food back there where he'll be at so he's not sure where Ed is going to be bringing these people.
Artie said he may have to yell at Ed again like he did at another show. Artie said that he can't let Ed do this. He put the word out that he just can't let him do that. He said he is a generous guy but he's got to say not right now. Howard said that Ed doesn't seem like the kind of guy that takes ''no'' as an answer.
Artie said that he may have to stop Ed from coming back stage. Howard told him he'll have to do that to keep him from doing that. Artie said that he doesn't know how he's doing this and how many guys he's going to let back there.
Howard asked Artie what he has on his rider for back stage. Artie said he gets cold cuts to make sandwiches. Howard told him to put a plate out for him like he'd do with a cat. Artie said that maybe if he lets him just bring two guys back there he can do it. Howard said they may have to talk to him now. He told Gary to get him on the phone.
Artie said that Ed is in that boarding house and he can't use the bathroom because there's some fat guy suing the tub. He said that some people think that the fat guy is just his imagination though.
Howard asked if Ed still calls him at home. Artie said that he changed his number so he can't call him now. He said that if you give one of those guys a phone number they never leave you alone. He said that it starts out okay but then three weeks in they're calling like 3000 times a day.
Howard said that Artie has people taking advantage of his generosity all the time. He said that Eric the Midget was selling those pictures of him too. Artie said that he could get a lawyer to stop him from doing that. Howard said that he had to stop because someone turned him in to SSI.
Howard said that Natasha was an angel and she looked that way at the viewing. Howard said that Liam seems like a really down to earth kind of guy too. He said that it was very tough.
Artie said that anyone that young is the worst thing on the planet. He said he can't imagine that and he can't imagine dealing with it.
Howard said that life is so hard sometimes. He said that he didn't stay there at the viewing too long. He said he just wanted to tell Liam how sorry he was. Howard talked about the paparazzi being there and how wrong that was. He said he was glad he got to pay his respects though.
The caller was trying to tell them about something about Spike Lee but Howard had no clue what the hell he was talking about. He thanked the guy for calling in and let him go after that.
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Howard asked why Obama is still doing so much on TV because it seems like he's still running for President. Robin said that it really pissed her off when she saw him doing Brackets. Howard said that he's a fan of his but he's really trying way too hard. He said it's time to be President and start acting Presidential. Howard said that he would be much more comfortable if he wasn't doing all of this stuff.
Howard said that Obama put his foot in his mouth on the Tonight Show. He said that he wasn't a very good bowler and it was like he was in the special Olympics.
Ed said he thought he had asked Artie about that before. Artie told him he didn't. Ed was also saying that he thought there was going to be free food there. Artie said that there is in his dressing room but not anywhere else. Ed was hoping that he could bring some out to them. Artie said he might be able to do that. Then he jokingly asked Ed to find out if anyone has any eating problems so he can accommodate them. Ed said that he would do that.
Ed said he could have sworn that Artie told him this was okay to do. Artie said that he didn't okay any of this and he may even have to contact the Turning Stone casino to find out if it's okay for him to do this. Ed said he did this for a show up in Niagara Falls. Artie said he didn't remember that show. Artie said there was an extraordinary loser vibe in that back room that night.
Ed asked if he could bring Hanzi. Artie said that was fine but then Ed asked if Hanzi could bring two people. Artie told him to tell Hanzi to text him and he'll set him up.
Artie said that the loser vibe was really bad at that other show. He told Ed that these people can't stink or anything when he brings them back.
Artie said that Hanzi had just texted him and said he never even asked to come. Howard told Ed that he could now sell those back stage passes too. Ed asked Artie if he minded that. Artie said he didn't have Hanzi on the list so he can't give him more. Howard let Ed go a short time later.
Howard said that they're calling Obama the ''New King of all Media'' and they're not crediting him with coining that phrase. Howard said that he was the one who called himself the King of All Media.
Howard said he was reading that there was a rumor that John Mayer was keeping a diary about Jennifer Aniston when he was dating her but now they're saying that wasn't true. Howard said he would have loved to have read that. He said that maybe they should have that guy on the show. He sounds pretty funny.
Howard made up some of the stuff that Mayer could have written about in the diary, if he had actually written one. Howard had him talking about the lame things that Jennifer would have had him doing and what John may have been staying in the relationship for. Artie threw in some lines as well.
Howard said that he thinks that Jennifer is really uptight and it would be easy to fuck up and upset her. Robin said she's heard that Jennifer is actually very nice. Howard asked who she heard that from. Robin said she knows some people. Howard figured it was Dr. Roni but Robin said it wasn't her.
Howard said that he's still looking at new phones and he's not sure what to go with. He said he has an old Palm Treo but he hasn't updated it because he has Lotus Notes email and not all of the phones have that ability. Howard said he found out that he doesn't have 3G on his phone so that's why he's so upset about it being so slow.
Howard said that he's heard that if he texts other people he can see the whole conversation. Other people don't have that ability. Robin thought that was Instant Messaging but Howard said it's texting, not IM. He said all of the texts are kept under one thing. He showed them what he was talking about and showed that the texts aren't all over the place.
Howard said that he'd like to keep the Palm but he doesn't want to wait for the new one to come out. He said he wants a Palm that has 3G. Artie asked him how that works if the other people don't have the texts organized like that. Howard said that it's just the way it works on his phone, it doesn't matter what other people have.
Robin said that Howard could do the IM thing. Howard said that not everyone IMs. Howard said that he doesn't want a phone that doesn't have a keyboard. He said he really wants more technology than he has now. Howard said he doesn't want to wait because his current phone is so inferior.
Howard said he'd like to be able to watch the Slingbox stuff on his phone but he can't do that right now. He said that he wants all of that technology in his next phone.
Howard said that he's supposedly in contact with the Treo people. He's hoping to be able to get something soon. Gary had his phone with his Slingbox playing TV from his house as he was showing it to them. Howard said that's what he would like.
Gary said that Howard isn't going to be able to get everything that he wants. Howard said that he will get it, just watch. Gary said that Jimmy Fallon had a guy on his show showing off the new Palm Pre recently. He said that they didn't even pay for the appearance and they got to talk about the thing on the show.
Artie said that when he texts he can't send more than a certain number of characters. Howard said that you're not supposed to text that much. Howard said that Beth has complained about his texts being too long and boring. He said that you have to keep it short. He said Beth showed him that his were boring when he tried to get his daughter to text him back. He said that she didn't text him back so Beth texted her and showed him that it was just how boring his were.
Howard had Jeff Jarvis on the phone. Jeff used to work for TV Guide and now he's out on his own and wrote a book that Howard plugged not too long ago. His book is called ''What Would Google Do?.''
Jeff was telling Howard that he should try the iPhone. Howard said that he can't do it because they still use Lotus Notes. Jeff told him that he has to get off of that Lotus Notes stuff and use gmail and Google Apps instead.
Richard came in and said that he has an iPhone and he uses it for Lotus Notes and it's fine. Jeff told him that he will get used to the virtual keyboard on the iPhone too. He said he really has to do it and within a month he'd be talking about how great it is.
Howard said that every phone has a negative. Richard said that he has subway maps on his phone and the phone even has a GPS on it so you can see where you're going and stuff.
King asked Howard if he believes in God. Howard said that he has been brainwashed since he was a kid. He said that every day he was trained. He said that he knows there isn't one but he believes there is one because of what he has been trained to believe. He said that when something goes wrong he wants to believe there is one so he can save him or something but he knows in the back of his mind that there isn't anything like that.
Howard said that there are some people who say that you can see the designer in the design so when you look at people you believe that they were made in God's image. Howard asked if anyone sees God in Eric the Midget. Everyone said no.
King was also talking about the awful economy and how he just keeps his money in the bank and doesn't invest it. That has actually saved him money because he didn't lose anything in the stock market.
King was telling the guys about eating some chitlins yesterday. He said they were so good. Howard said he can't believe that black people like that kind of stuff. King said that they love it. King was talking about how bad that stuff is for you to eat too.
King told Howard to call him off the air. He said that he and Howard do that sometimes. Robin sounded surprised by that. Howard was surprised too and said that he doesn't call him off the air. King told him to call him again but Howard told him that he really doesn't want him to call him. He said that it's painful to talk to him like that. Robin said she just spoke to Howard over the weekend and it was fine. She loves talking to him.
Howard said that everything is torture for him, even buying a phone. Howard said the phone he has right now is all old and thick. He said that everyone else has a nice thin phone and he has this big fat thing. He kept referring to 3G as being ''3 Gigabytes'' but that's not what it is.
Howard said he heard that Artie was on Bubba's show on Friday. Artie said that he did that and then Hulk Hogan introduced him at the comedy show.
Artie said that Bubba and his guys came to the comedy show. He said that Brent and his wife were there and his wife was looking really hot. He said that Spice Boy is dating this hot chick from some magazine. He said that it's like a harem of hot chicks down there.
Artie said that Hogan introduced him at the comedy show and that was cool. Artie said that he was doing some fake wrestling stuff with him on stage too. He said that Hulk really hit him with his crutch when he was supposed to be faking it. Artie said that he finally saw ''The Wrestler'' and he thought it was great. He said that when you see that you see that the fighting isn't fake at all.
Artie said that Hogan brought his new girlfriend and she's smokin' hot. He said she's like a Playboy centerfold looking chick. Artie said it wasn't his daughter Brooke, it was actually his date. Artie said that Hogan even went back out on stage later and said goodbye to them. Howard asked how old the chick was. Artie said that she was probably around 25 or so. He said she was so hot too.
Howard asked Artie if he was sober the whole weekend. Artie said he was. Howard asked if he did any heroin or anything like that. Artie said that you can't dabble in heroin so he wasn't messing with that stuff. Howard asked him if he was drinking any cough syrup or anything. Artie laughed and said he wasn't doing any of that stuff. He didn't even have sex.
Howard heard that Artie vomited a few times before going on Bubba's show. Artie said that he got off the plane and threw up when he got off. He said that it was a shitty ride going in and sometimes he gets sick from that. He said it doesn't happen often though.
Artie said that he got down to Florida and got picked up by his friend Mike. They went out to breakfast after that. Howard had a note from a guy who said that he had heard the story on Bubba's show and thought that something was going on with Artie down there. The writer thought that there was something going on with him and he should come clean.
Artie said that he was nauseous on the plane but he usually doesn't throw up from that. He said it was early in the morning so he went out to eat. He said that the stuff at McDonald's is extra greasy and that's what made him sick.
Artie said that he had a sausage and egg sandwich and it was so greasy that he had to throw it up. He said that he had to ask the driver to stop the car so he could get out and puke. He said that they stopped at a red light and he told the guy he was going to open the door to puke.
Artie said that he hoped that the car behind them was a fan so he could have called in and told them how gross it was. Artie said that he didn't even get out of the car. He said he just opened the door and let it out. Artie said that there's a point when you have no control over the vomit and that's what it was like for him. He said it was like Linda Blair in ''The Exorcist'' with the projectile vomiting.
Artie said that was on the way to the hotel. He said that he threw up again on the way there. He said that he had an empty stomach on the flight because they don't feed you on the flights anymore. Artie said that it was a 3 hour flight and they sometimes don't have a movie or food. He said that's even flying first class.
Artie said that he doesn't like the pretzel snacks that they offer you on the flights. He said he likes the big soft ones but not those hard ones. Artie said that they sometimes don't even have ice on the flights anymore.
Artie said that it can run you from $800 to $1000 to fly first class. He said that they did have a movie on this flight and it was called ''The Women.'' He said it was all women in the movie and the title was a good one because that's all they have in it.
Howard said that Artie gave it his review on his way to Bubba's show with a three puke review. Artie said that's what he would give it too. He said the movie was really bad. Artie said it was weird to see that movie and then go see Hulk Hogan with the young girl. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back from break and had Lisa G come in with her news headlines. Lisa said they have a story about Artie and how someone had just twittered about reading Artie's book. Howard knew it was John Mayer since someone had told him about that. Cindy Adams also gave Artie's book approval in her column. Howard said that's like the kiss of death. He said he was just kidding about that.
Howard said that Artie is going mainstream with that endorsement from Cindy. Howard wondered if she actually read that book. Artie figured that someone just told her about it. He said he can't imagine that she actually sat down and read it.
Lisa also had a story about The Roots who are Jimmy Fallon's house band. The band are fans of the Stern Show and they're hoping to be invited on the show. They think that Howard is afraid to have them on. Howard said that he doesn't even know their music. He said he confuses them with some other band that used to have some old man dancing around on stage. Lisa figured he was talking about Arrested Development.
Howard said that maybe he should come out with an old guy in a rocking chair when he does the Transcendental Meditation concert thing. He said he's supposed to introduce Ringo so maybe he'll have some old guy in a rocking chair come out with him.
Howard said that the song that Arrested Development did that he was thinking about was ''Tennessee.'' Fred found that song and played it while they talked about the band. Howard said that Lisa was into that song. Howard saw her dancing with Dr. Dre and Ed Lover one time in a video. Howard told her to dance like she did back then. Lisa did a little bit of dancing for them. She said that the video was probably from 1996 or so. The Howard TV guys showed the video of her dancing.
Howard said that the Howard TV guys keep hijacking his show. He was in the middle of listening to ''Tennessee'' and they played that video.
Howard asked Lisa about working with Dr. Dre and Ed Lover. She said that things were crazy back then and they had fans that would scream out her name and chase her down the street. Howard said that he and Robin don't even get chased down the streets. Howard said he finds that hard to believe. Lisa said she's seen Howard walk down the street and have fans come up to him.
Howard said they had some audio of Lisa calling Dr. Drew ''DJ Watermelon'' or something. He didn't get what they were trying to tell him on the computer though. Lisa wasn't even sure what they were talking about.
Howard asked if they were allowed to use the N-word on that station she worked out. Lisa said they didn't use that and they weren't even supposed to say ''bitch.''
Lisa had some dates of some things that happened on this day in history. She said that on this day in 1993 Howard had a press conference to announce his book. She got in some plugs for some stuff they have coming up on Howard 101 tonight. She said they're doing a special show with the chicks of Bubba the Love Sponge's show at 7pm tonight.
Howard said he thinks that they did a show like that with the chicks from their show too. They had Dana, Alison, Mr. X and Mary Dell'Abate on that show. Artie said he remembers that being kind of boring but maybe the fans liked it. Howard said that maybe they'll do a good job with the show tonight.
Artie said that Dana is so entertaining when she's mad at him. Lisa asked if they're back together. Artie said that they're not. Howard said Beth was wondering about that too.
Howard said that Ronnie's beard has gotten to a weird color lately. Howard and Robin were talking about the strange color on there. Ronnie said that he trimmed his beard and when you do that the color gets odd and he's not sure what's going on there. Howard said maybe he should have someone color it for him. Ronnie said he can't do that because he'll end up looking like Sal.
Howard asked Ronnie if he has a bunch of NASCAR stuff in his kitchen. Ronnie said that he has it in his basement but it's not in his kitchen. Ronnie wondered where they got the picture from. Howard said he's not sure where it came from.
Howard said that Jason gave him the picture. Ronnie then figured out that they have that up on the computer because he's trying to sell his house and they have a virtual tour up. He said that if anyone wants that NASCAR stuff they can have it.
Howard said that Ronnie was out at Rick's Cabaret on Thursday night. Ronnie said that they had some contest winners there for the movie ''I Love You Man.'' Ronnie said that Gina Lynn was there dancing that night. She hadn't danced in a long time so she was very nervous about that.
Ronnie said that Gina would go off and dance for a while and then she'd take a break. He said that she ended up talking to her friends at sone point and forgot about dancing. Howard said he figured that she'd be really into it and dance for all of the guys. Ronnie said that she just wasn't into it. Ronnie said that it was really busy over there at Ricks and they have some really smokin' hot chicks there.
Howard said he saw that Tim Sabean has lost 25 pounds already. He said he's looking good but he's afraid that he's going to put it right back on.
Artie said that he heard that the rap band Death was going to work with Clive Davis but they refused to change their name when Davis asked them to. He refused to work with them if they didn't and they ended up going off into obscurity.
Howard ended up playing the prank call that High Pitch Eric made to Eric the Midget as Kelly Clarkson, KC Armstrong and some others.
After that Gary came in and said that Kelly has gotten really big lately. Gary said that she was walked through her area at one point a few weeks ago and she picked up one of the big cupcakes they had there.
Howard played the other top 5 songs that he had. They had Flo Rida, Justin Timberlake and a few others. Howard said that Flo Rida is going to be coming in soon and he'll be performing that hit song of his.
Another caller said that Ralph does use a lot of his catch phrases. Howard said that Ralph has been listening to the show since he was in high school so it's not surprising that he does that. Howard said that things have gotten a little weird though because he's seen out in the park and stuff and people think it's him. He said that Ralph will walk out of his apartment building and they think it's him there too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ralph isn't so bad. He also brought up the Jordan sweat pants that they were talking about last week. Howard had brought them up last week. They spent a minute on that.
Another caller asked Howard if he would rather have a chick with a great body or a great face. Howard said that some guys can bang chicks with bad faces.
Another caller said that he wanted to know what he thought about Battlestar Galactica. Howard said it was horrible. He said he was very disappointed in it. Robin said that she was too. She said that the wrap up wasn't that spectacular. Howard said he really has no idea what happened.
Jon Hein came in and said that he's shocked to hear this from them. He liked it. The caller loved it too. Howard asked the guy what was going on with some of the stuff in the show. The caller told Howard what he knew about the characters he was asking about and figured that some of them were gods and stuff like that but Howard cut him off and said that the finale was a zero.
Jon said that he thought that a lot of that final episode was great. Jon said that they found the little girl's body in the end as being the link to the people in the current day. Howard said they should have brought in Mr. Big from ''Sex and the City'' in the end.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that he saw James Gandolfini in a Broadway play and he was very good in it. Howard said he just wants to see him as Tony Soprano. Dominic didn't stay on too long before saying ''Goo' Bye.''
Howard took another call from a guy who told Robin that he loves her but maybe she should cool off with the colonics. He said that she's eating good food so she probably doesn't need that so much.
Another caller had a movie idea where there would be a werewolf on the moon. Howard didn't get the plot when the guy told him about it. The guys were asking him questions about that and how it would work if he was on the moon because the moon would always be out. The caller had explanations for it but they weren't working for Howard or Fred.
Another caller asked Howard if he would forgive Beth for having sex with a black man. Howard said that he wouldn't forgiver her for having sex with anyone. The caller wanted to play a whole game with that but he told Howard he had already lost since he said no. The caller said that this game will show them how many years of prosperity he will have with Beth. Howard said he had to get out of this conversation.
The guys ended up back on the werewolf movie idea and how dumb they found the whole plot. Howard was also talking about how dumb some of those rules are with Vampire movies and stuff like that. Artie said that you can do anything with a movie and you don't have to stick to the rules.
Howard said that he ran into Craig Ferguson up there the other day and he wants to come on the show. Howard said he told him to come on. Howard has said in the past that he doesn't like him that much but he said the guy is very nice. He said it's fine, he's a really nice guy. Howard said that he's not even sure that accent of his is real. He didn't hear it so much when he was talking to him.
Howard read that there's a new porno movie coming out called ''Cocktomom'' which is a parody of Octomom's life. Howard said there shouldn't even be a word like ''Octuplets'' for humans. He said that she had a litter of children.
Howard mentioned that the censors didn't bleep out the word ''fuck'' on Jimmy Kimmel's show the other night. He said he had some audio of the kid who played McLovin saying the F-word on the show and there was no bleep. Howard played that and the kid said ''fuckin'' and it made it right past the censors. Robin said that's pretty crazy.
Howard said that's actually the second time that's happened on Jimmy's show. He had another clip of an actress saying the f-word.
Howard took one more phone call from a guy who told him to stop calling himself a geek because he's really not. Howard insisted that he was. Howard said that he really is a geek. The caller said that a geek doesn't watch The Bachelor or bad mouth Battlestar Galactica. Howard kept telling the guy that he is a geek. He said that the real geek is that Gamorrean Guard and Darth Nihilus.
The caller said that he's really a geek because he likes the old comic books and he's going to go see the new Wolverine movie. Howard said he can't wait for the Green Lantern movie. The caller was looking forward to that too. They spent a short time on that and Howard figured that he had shown that he was a geek in that conversation. He said he had to go to break after that.
Howard said that another caller wanted to talk about Robin being on a Wikipedia page about narcissists and she was at the top of the page. Howard said that he and Robin were talking about that over the weekend. He said that Robin actually called him about that. Robin was asking him how he was doing and he thinks that she's on a campaign trying not to be a narcissist. Robin said that wasn't it at all. She said that she was simply saying that she never calls Howard when she's thinking about him and that's all when was doing.
Artie was talking about his trip to Florida and how great a time he had down there. He said that he had lunch out on the beach down there the day he flew down and since it's spring break, there were tons of hot chicks walking around. Artie said he was out in a long jacket out there.
Robin said that the narcissism thing had nothing to do with her calling Howard this weekend. She said that she was really just thinking about Howard and wanted to talk to him.
Howard came back a short time later and had the guys bring in Rob Schneider. Howard said that Rob has this new movie coming out on DVD called ''Big Stan'' and it's really funny. Howard said he doesn't know why it didn't come out in the theaters.
Rob said that the company that had the movie ended up going bankrupt. He said that they made it for like $6 million. Rob said that used to be his salary. He directed the movie.
Howard asked Rob if he banged the chick who played his hot wife. Rob said he didn't but she became single right after the movie was done. He said that she's in ''House.''
Howard asked Rob if he was married to some porn star chick or something. Rob said he likes normal chicks. Howard said that he saw her with some really hot chick by the name of Nicolette T or something like that. Rob said that he's not allowed to talk about her actually. He said that she got all of the cash, he got the dog and he's not allowed to talk about her.
Howard asked when he got married. Rob said it was 6 years ago. Rob said they divorced but kept dating for a couple of years after that. He said that the name was pretty exotic but he really shouldn't even say it on the air.
Howard asked Rob if he's dating now. Rob said that he is busy dating and getting rid of evidence of other women. He said he has a girl now and he's not cheating on her. He said he wishes that he were cheating but Howard must have him confused with someone else. Rob then said that he did some cheating in the past.
Howard said that Rob is able to fly under the radar unlike someone like David Spade. Howard told Rob that David had a kid with a Playboy chick. Rob said that the sad thing about that is that the girl doesn't even live near David.
Howard said that this movie, ''Big Stan,'' is really funny. He talked about the plot of the movie and how he ends up having to go to jail for something. Howard said that he meets Dan Haggarty who tells him about what it's going to be like in prison so Rob goes to karate school and meets a guy who helps him learn Karate. He has six months to learn it and he can't get past his yellow belt. Howard said that he becomes a killing machine and learns the ''finger of death'' so he can defend himself.
Howard said that Rob has to beat the shit out of people in prison. He ends up beating up a 400 pound guy who is in the middle of raping a guy. Then he beats up the entire Aryan nation group in prison.
The guys brought in a picture of a girl who Rob dated. He said that she was a Page Six girl over in England and she's just one of those girls who wants to become famous.
Howard asked when the movie is coming out on DVD. Rob said that it's coming out tomorrow actually. Howard and Rob talked about some of the stuff that goes on in the movie and Howard was laughing just talking about it.
Howard said he heard that there were accidents on the set of that movie. He thought that David Carradine had broken his hand. Rob said that David actually ended up hitting his hand when they were doing the stick fighting and he ended up breaking his finger.
Rob said that he learned how to do a lot of stuff for the movie and he ended up getting pretty ripped. Then he was out of shape about a week after the movie was done shooting.
Rob said that they shot the movie in a real prison with real prisoners because they're cheaper. He said that it was really hot there in the prison and he ended up eating 5 bad eggs one day so he was puking all that day. He said that he missed a day of shooting because of that.
Rob said that they ended up shooting the whole movie in 2 months and that's pretty quick. Rob said that they brought up some guys to work on the movie and they had to have a truce on the prison grounds between two gangs but back at the hotel it was still on. Rob said there were no stabbings but there were some looks between them.
Howard said that Rob took out a two page ad saying that he would never work with Mel Gibson when it came out that he hated the Jews. Mel wasn't calling him to do anything with him but he did come out and say that he would never work with him. Rob said that the thing was pretty funny that he put out there.
Howard asked Rob where he's at with this movie. Rob said that the movie is going to be on Pay-Per-View and it's out on DVD and iTunes and stuff like that. He said that he just wanted to do something that he wanted to do and that's what he got to do with this movie.
Howard asked why Adam Sandler wasn't involved with this movie. Rob said that he didn't want to ask him for another favor but he did think about it.
Rob talked about working with Sandler on his ''Zohan'' movie and also talked about David Spade. He said that Spade gets a lot of hot chicks and he's not sure how he does that. Howard said that Spade isn't the hottest guy in the world but he gets the hottest chicks. Rob said that he must have all of the moves figured out.
Artie said that David does some shitty sitcoms and he makes a fortune doing them. He just bangs all of the chicks he can on the set. Rob said that he's doing a movie with Spade this summer so he'll ask him about that stuff. He said that Spade's role is basically playing himself because he's trying to bang all of the 20 year olds in it.
Howard asked Rob if he watches Saturday Night Live anymore. Rob said that he hasn't been on the show in like 14 years and he can't believe how fast time flies. He said that he would have liked the call from Lorne Michaels to come back on like 12 years ago but he gets why he won't have him back on. Rob said they want people who can help them out now.
Howard said that Rob told a great story about Steven Seagal on the show one time. Rob told that story again about this guy he knew that worked with Steven on a movie. Seagal came out from one of the rooms in his mobile home and said that he had just read the greatest script he had ever written in his life. The other guy sasked him who wrote it and Steven says ''I did.''
Rob had another Steven Seagal story to tell. He said he collects them. Rob said that Steven was doing a story with Keenan Ivory Wayans and Steven had just met with the Dahli Llama. the Dahli had made him a deity after he had donated some money to the guy. Now Steven is basically a god. Rob said that Steve goes to the set and tells the people on the set of this movie about this deity thing. Rob said that Steven claims that things were making sense to him now that he had become a deity and then his assistant comes up to him and says that his ex-wife can't make it with the kids and Steven freaks out telling the assistant to tell that fucking cunt that he'll break her fucking neck if she doesn't make it.
Rob told Howard that he did a comedy DVD that he can't get released either. He said that they may put it up on Howard's web site. He told Howard about one of the bits he does in the DVD and had Howard laughing at that.
Howard asked Rob about this new relationship he has and if he wants to have kids. Rob said that he has a 19 year old daughter but he'd like to have more kids.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Rob about working on SNL and about this book that Jay Mohr wrote. Rob said that he was described as a ''very interesting asshole'' in the book but he's okay with that. He said that he actually wrote the first bit for Jay to get on SNL so he's not sure why he'd call him an asshole though. Rob said that show can make you into an asshole though.
The caller told Howard that Rob once had a jewelers spectacle to look at jewels and he once used it to look at his Sushi and Jay talks about that in his book. Rob said that he did that as a joke that day but he never told Jay that it was a joke.
Howard asked Rob how he was discovered. Rob said that he was out doing the circuit and he was writing for Roseanne and stuff like that. He said that he got a role on SNL around the same time that he got offered a role on Roseanne's show. He had to take the SNL thing.
Howard asked Rob who the worst was to work with on SNL. Rob said that Debra Winger was pretty freaked out when she was on the show and she wondered how they talked her into doing it. Rob also said that Jeremy Irons was kind of a stiff. He said he was kind of miserable on the show too. Rob said that he was telling them what wasn't funny and what was funny and he was very arrogant.
Rob said that he liked the crazier people on the show. He said he liked when Steven Seagal was on the show even though Lorne Michaels has said that he thought he was the worst. Rob said that they had things to do with him when he was on.
Rob talked about working with Sylvester Stallone one time and how he went out to dinner with him. He said that they went to this place that was packed with people. Sylvester had a couple of guys with him and he had some women on the way. Rob said that about 10 girls showed up and they were kind of hot but not quite super models. Rob said that they cleared the restaurant out about 30 seconds later and then it was just Stallone and his people. Rob figured that he'd be able to get at least one of the girls. He said that Stallone was making fun of him and all of the girls were only into Stallone.
Rob said he tried to go talk to one of the girls at the other end of the table and she ended up pulling out one of the magazines that she modeled for. It was ''Swank'' magazine. He said that he was talking to her and asking her if she anted to go out and get a drink. She ended up getting up and just left. Rob figured he'd just hang around and see who Stallone went home with. He said that Stallone took the ladies to the elevator and then said that he had to bid them adieu. He said that Stallone ended up going up in the hotel by himself.
Rob said that he told Stallone that he thought that chick at the end of the table was hot and then Stallone told him that she was in his room.
Rob said that Stallone was still a gigantic star back then. He said he was barely able to walk down the street. Rob said that he hasn't seen Stallone lately but he liked hanging out with him. He did two movies with him. He talked about the movies that he did with him and how he knew that ''Judge Dread'' was going to be a disaster by the costumes they had.
Howard asked Rob how he was let go from SNL. Rob said that he didn't want to stay there too long and he wanted to get out of there before he stayed too long like some people have. Rob said that his career has been in the toilet a few times but you can't think that all of show business is against you. Rob said that he has been able to keep working all of these years and he's having fun doing what he's doing now.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Rob has topped all of the interviews of the past year. He said his impressions of Stallone and Seagal were great. Howard agreed with him on that. Rob thanked him for that.
Rob talked about some of the characters he did on SNL when he was there. Howard said he liked hearing how some of those characters were created. He said he liked hearing about how the Goat Boy character was created when Jim Breuer was on the show too.
Rob talked about how quickly they can get bits on that show. That was the great part of that show. Artie said that Norm MacDonald told him a story about this guy Football Williams, the guy who hit Reginald Denny in the L.A. Riots, where he was in the same area as SNL was shooting.
Artie said that Rob was in the bathroom with that Football Williams guy and Rob was upset that he was getting famous for hitting some guy in the head with a brick. Artie said he heard that Rob was so pissed off about the guy but then Football recognized him as the Copier Guy character he did and he had to do the character for him in the bathroom. Rob did it because the guy was a fan.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Rob about what happened on the Leno show when he wnet on dressed up as Lindsay Lohan. Rob said that they asked him to come in and fill in because she had canceled. He said that he did that a couple of times over the years. He said that he had to be careful about what he had to say though. Rob said that Jay didn't want to kill her so they just did what they did and her mother got mad at them. Rob said that her mother said it was a family issue but it's really not because she is a celebrity. He said that he said something about her at a Dave Matthews concert one time and it ended up in People magazine so she wasn't too thrilled with that either. Howard gave Rob some plugs and then went to break.
Howard came back and said that he read that John Cleese went to court and got his divorce payments cut in half. He told the judge that the economy was making it tough to keep up so they knocked it down by half. They had based his income on what he made in 2007 and he's not doing that well now.
Howard read about how pissed off Cleese was about the whole divorce settlement. Artie said that you do hear Cleese in a lot of stuff you wouldn't think he'd be in. It may have to do with the divorce. Artie said he had a friend who had a great year in show business and his alimony was based on that. He doesn't do that well every year so it's tough for him.
Howard said that he read about some doctors who were twittering stuff while they were operating on someone. Howard said that people were wondering if doctors should really be doing that.
Howard said he had a clip of Steven Colbert being asked if he twittered when he was on The Today Show. Howard played the audio where they asked him if he did twitter and Colbert said that he has ''Twated.''
Howard had some Baba Booey shout outs from Seth Davis during the NCAA games. He played a couple of those clips as well.
Artie said that he won $3,600 last week betting on the games. He said that something happened that ended up working out well for him so he lost $4,000 and then lost 400 on something else so he was up by 3,600.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the Rob Schneider interview was great. He said that his stories were great and it's cool how they can go so long with the interviews. The guy figured that Craig Ferguson would be good on the show too. Howard said that he was actually on one time before he started his show and he was good. Howard said that he likes being able to do long interviews like that since it can take some time to get into the good stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he saw the interview Beth did with Carl Edwards and the guy was saying that Howard was supposed to show up but he didn't. The guy said that he didn't know why Beth was there and why Howard wasn't. Howard didn't know what the guy was talking about. Fred played Kirk Douglas' ''What are you saying'' clip while the guy was rambling. Howard ended up hanging up on the guy. He figured that what the guy thinks he was wasn't what actually happened.
Howard took a call from this guy Sean who has a strange stutter. He's called in a bunch of times before. Sean asked Howard if he has ever confirmed that Ronnie and ''Eric the Maggot'' have ever dyed their pubic hair. Howard said that Sean seems to be having a tough day today. Sean said that's how he usually is with the stutter. The day he was on the show live he didn't stutter at all. Sean said that he was very calm that day and he's not sure why that is. Artie told him that he can't drink before he does something like that. Artie loves him but Howard ended up hanging up on him a short time later.
Howard took some more calls and one guy said that he doesn't know why Jon Hein won't give people a ''Hey Now'' back when other guys say it to him. Howard said that Jon does that to him in the halls there. He said that he must be one of those guys who just wants nothing to do with it.
Steve said that Captain Janks finally showed up for a court appearance in New Jersey. He said that Janks may still be taking the money and running though. There are more bar owners saying that he has ripped them off. His landlord is also saying that Janks will be kicked out at the end of this month.
Steve said that Henry hill is also a wanted man. He failed to show up to a court appearance that he was supposed to make in the past couple of weeks.
Steve said that the WWE has also pulled the plug on an autobiography about the Iron Sheik. Steve mentioned that this week Kenneth Keith Kallenbach would have celebrated his 40th birthday if he was still around.
Howard had Jon Hein come in and asked him about the ''Hey Now'' thing. Jon said that's Howard's thing and he figured he had that with Ralph. Howard told Jon to have some fun with it and use it if he wants to. Howard said it's really just a fan appreciation thing for the Larry Sanders Show.
Howard and Jon rehearsed it a little bit but Artie didn't think that Jon was saying it from the heart. Artie said that he doesn't really use it either. He said that Ralph is way into it though.
Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's Wrap Up Show after that. while they were going through that the guys ended up talking about Lisa G's claims that she used to have fans chasing her through the streets. Howard said he thinks that she was exaggerating a bit about that.
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Howard said there were some other songs that they got. He played one by Richard where he sings about shooting his loads up her rear.
Robin started off her news with a story about a job fair that was held at a strip club. She said that at least 250 people showed up trying to get the jobs they had open.
Robin read about a grass company that will be selling official Yankee Stadium grass to customers soon. Robin had a story about a guy who claims that he may have been sexually assaulted by other men after he smoked some weed and passed out.
Howard said that he got some feedback about the Riley Martin 4 hour show that he did on Friday night. Howard said that some fans loved it. There were others who hated it of course. He read through some of the mail about that. He said that the fans were upset that they pulled the sports programming to do that.
Robin asked Howard if he ever thinks about dying when she brought up Natasha Richardson's funeral. Howard ended up talking about how his father came to him with an envelope that told him where they wanted to be buried. Howard said that he never thinks about stuff like that. Artie said that he and his mother ended up picking a spot for his father to be buried. He said his father didn't pick it out ahead of time.
Robin read about some of the people who showed up to Natasha's funeral. Robin said that it was just the fall that killed her. She had blunt force trauma to her head and that's what killed her.
Robin read a story about Bruce Willis getting married over the weekend. He married a 30 year old model/actress. Howard said he thinks that Beth might know that chick. Robin said that the wedding wasn't official so they will be having a civil ceremony soon. Demi Moore was apparently at the wedding with Ashton Kutcher. Howard said that Ashton should be banging the young chick, it doesn't make any sense.
Robin read a story about Eva Longoria being on a list of the hottest chicks on TV. Howard said he never really found her that hot. Robin read about some of the other women on the list and Artie said he wouldn't be able to pick any of them out of a line up. He had never heard of most of them.
Robin had some news and audio clips about the Octomom Nadya Suleman. She had her talking about how she's not out of her mind. She was talking very softly so the guys were goofing on her about that. While they were talking about that Fred played a clip of Benjy screaming. That got Artie thinking about the special about the kids who have Prada-Willi syndrome. Howard had a clip from that show a short time later so he played that as well. Artie said he has to watch that special again and asked JD to put it on DVD if he has it.
Howard took a call from a guy who claimed to work for Blackberry. The guy told him that he could have the same kind of messaging that he has on his Palm if he goes into his settings and changes it on the Blackberry. Howard said that he doesn't think that works. Gary said he heard from Jon Hein that it only works from Blackberry to Blackberry. The caller said that he could do it the way Howard wanted to as well though. He told Artie how to do it on his phone to show Howard how it works. Howard said this guy didn't know what he was talking about.
Howard asked Gary to figure out what this guy is talking about so he can find out if he was full of it or not. Artie said he tried it and he was going to try texting himself from Blackberry to Blackberry. Artie said he has two because he has one legal one and one illegal one. One is for illegal stuff and one is for legal. He said he was just kidding about that though.
Robin read a story about a news anchor who was found dead over the weekend after being stabbed. Mariann from Brooklyn called in to do the ''Hey Now'' thing with Howard. She did that but Howard hung right up on her after she said ''Hey Now!''
Robin had some news about President Obama talking about the way they have to end the war over in Iraq. Howard talked about how Obama really has to go out and just be President now instead of making all of these TV appearances he's been making lately. He said that he hopes that he's into his job more than Bush was.
Gary came in and told Howard that he and Jon Hein were just trying to text each other trying to get that guy on the phone to help out but it turns out the phones just don't do what Howard wants them to do. Gary said the guy just didn't understand what they were trying to make happen, he wasn't trying to be a jerk.
Robin had a story about former governor Elliot Spitzer getting back into the public eye. She said that he's out talking about AIG and the economy. Robin said that he did his first interview since last year when he went on CNN. Robin had some audio of him talking about that stuff.
Robin had a story about a plane crash that ended up in a cemetery. Robin said that the plane was taking people on a ski trip to Montana when it crashed into that cemetery. Robin said another plane crashed in Tokyo but there were only two people on board. It was a Fed-Ex flight bound for China.
Robin read about a new car being made by an Indian auto maker that will cost only $2,000. That's the Nano mini car from Tata Motors. Robin said it sells for about 100,000 Rupees or about $2,000 American dollars. Howard said he heard it got beat in a race by a bicycle.
Robin read some news about Cardinal Egan saying that it might be a good idea to let Priests get married since they're having such a hard time finding people willing to be priests.
Robin read that Michael Jackson is thinking of adopting another child. Howard wondered he would find that. Robin said he's looking.
Robin said that Aretha Franklin celebrated her birthday over the weekend. She read about what she had to eat. She also played some audio of Artie singing ''Respect.''
Robin read that Carrie Underwood has sold 9.8 million records and she's close to beating Kelly Clarkson's sales.
Robin also read some news about the movies that did well at the box office this weekend. Robin said that the Nicolas Cage movie was number one. That led to Fred doing his impression of Stuttering John saying ''Niggerless Cage.'' They had to end the show a short time later, right around 10:50am.
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Gary said that the guy has great stories and knows the show. He said that he's willing to talk about people like Stallone on the show and that's what they like about him.
Jon asked Gary why he thinks that this ''Big Stan'' was his favorite movie. Gary said that's because it's the movie he's currently out promoting.
Jon said that both Rob and Howard are in awe of David Spade and the amount of pussy he gets. Gary said he ran into Spade at a bar one night and he told him the story about how he was attacked by his assistant. Gary said that he knows hot chicks everywhere and he puts in a lot of time making that stuff happen.
Jon said that Rob collects those Steven Seagal stories like someone would collect diamonds. Gary said that he has a particular vision of the guy through those stories. He said that he's never seen a Seagal movie in his life and he has no desire to see them. Jon told Gary he doesn't know what he's missing out on.
Jon said that Rob was talking about how he left SNL because he didn't want to hang on too long. He said it's not easy to make that jump from that show to anything else. Gary said that some people go on to be really big but others don't do much of anything when they leave.
Jon had Teddy play a clip of Rob talking about his time at SNL. After that Gary said he has read a lot of books about SNL and they all basically say the same thing. He said that the people on the show have to fight to get their material on the show. They have to write their own characters or they'll be left by the wayside.
Gary said he read a story about a writer ripping up a script in the middle of a meeting there and saying that it was just shit. That's the kind of stuff they have to put up with.
Gary said that he thinks that Tim Meadows stayed on SNL a little too long. He's one of those guys who stuck around way too long. Gary said that he's like a kid in high school who doesn't graduate with everyone else and turns into the creepy guy who should have been in college a couple of years before. Jason said that Tim Meadows was always kind of the guy you forgot about. He said that was kind of sad.
Jon asked Gary what he thought about that Stallone story. Gary thought it was a good one. Benjy said he liked that story as well. He said it would have been even better if the woman had turned out to be Brigitte Nielson.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if JD is flying in coach when Artie flies in first class. Teddy said that they do fly in coach. Artie calls it ''steerage'' though. The caller asked why that is. Teddy said that Artie would rather be by himself than be with him or JD.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was at a hockey game on Saturday that Jon and some of the guys played in. The caller said that Gary wasn't there but someone was out on the ice with his shirt on. Jon said that they weren't trying to trick the crowd or anything. The caller said that they were promoting that he was going to come.
Jon said that they were playing between periods and when Doug was introduced he got booed. Jon said that some of them got cheers but Doug got booed. The caller said that he thinks that Doug sucked and that's why he got booed.
The caller said that it was promoted all week that Gary was going to be there and that's why he went. Gary said that he never said he was going to go. Gary didn't think that was the case but he said he'd check into it. Gary said he was going to go but he wanted to stay home and hang out instead.
Benjy asked Jon if he got booed. Jon said he thinks he got some cheers. The caller said that Jon was like the biggest guy out there on the ice. Jon said that he is pretty big when you put skates on him. Jon said that they ended up losing to the Howard TV guys. He said they had a great time playing though.
Jason said that Robin may have spoken to Howard about it over the weekend and changed her mind. He said that it rally doesn't make sense. On the air Robin said that she was trying not to hurt Jon's feelings.
Jon said that he asked Robin during a break and she said that she's just a good actress and she really didn't like the finale. Gary said that no one's feelings are going to be hurt if she doesn't like the TV show.
Jason said that he doesn't get why she would try to stop from hurting someone's feelings like that. Jason said he loved the ending to that show and thinks it was great. He said it was very fitting for that TV show.
Another caller asked Gary if he really thinks that Rob Schneider ''gets the show'' because he has said it a bunch of times today. Gary said that they do have guests on the show who don't get it. Gary said that's his way of saying that the guests know how to let Howard handle the interview.
Ralph called in and gave a bunch of ''Hey Now'' to the guys. Jon wasn't saying it back to him though. Ralph said he gets why he doesn't say it because he does sound kind of robotic when he does.
Gary said that he ran into Jeffrey Tambour one time and he asked him why he couldn't get on the show even though he is the ''Hey Now'' guy. Gary said that they were all obsessed with the show when it was on.
Ralph said that Robin is weird and crazy. He said that he went out with Robin and Jillian Barberie and a couple of other people. He said that they had a great time at dinner and then went to the hotel with Jillian and had a great time there and in her room and stuff. Robin was having a great time but then a couple of days later Robin was saying she didn't have a good time. He said he was shocked when he heard that from her.
The guys talked about how strange all of that was with Robin. Ralph said that Robin must be confused. He thinks that she needs to eat something.
Jason asked if Ralph thinks that Howard changed her mind or something. Ralph said that he was disappointed with a lot of the finale but it's easy to get caught up in the screening the way they did. He said that he figures that Robin did get caught up in Howard's thoughts on the finale and that's why she changed her mind.
Gary brought up the story Howard read about the Captain Kirk chair that they're selling now and asked Ralph if he would buy one. Ralph said that would be fun, he would do it. Ralph said that it would be fun to do that. He said he found a YouTube video where this guy made up his flat, over in England, to look just like the bridge on Star Trek. He said he'll have to send that to Gary later.
Gary said that they interviewed this guy who said that the hair on the back of his neck stands up when he sits in that chair. Gary said that's just funny. Gary asked Ralph what he would do if he brought a hot chick back to his apartment and she asked what was up with the chair. Ralph would be proud and he'd build up the story even more about how he got the chair. Gary said that the only thing that chair has going for it is that it could be very comfortable. Jon had to let Ralph go after that.
Another caller said that he's glad that Jon isn't falling into that ''Hey Now'' thing that everyone else is doing. The guy asked Gary what he thinks about Oprah Winfrey getting that $50 million and Howard wanting her out. The guy said that Howard would be first to demand his money if his contract was canceled. Gary said that Howard probably wasn't serious about that because he knows that they have to honor a contract.
Jon was also responding to the guy about the ''Hey Now'' thing and how he doesn't not do it because it's antiquated or anything. He said he just doesn't feel right saying it. Benjy said that he had never really said it either and tried it out a couple of times.
Jon asked if the guys think that Howard will ever get a new cell phone. Gary said that Howard has to find one that does most of what you want because you'll never find one that can do everything. Jason said that there are a lot of shitty cell phones out now. He said that the iPhone is the best and everything else just kind of sucks.
Another caller said that what Howard is looking for is ''threaded messaging.'' He said there are a few Blackberries that have that.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that the Samsung Blackjack 2 has the threaded messaging. The guy said that it has the full QWERTY keyboard too. Gary said that one hasn't seemed to have caught on. The caller said he loves the phone because he can get on the internet and watch video and all of that.
Jason said that the iPhone might be great but the AT&T coverage really sucks. He said that's the one problem they have with that phone.
Ralph called back in because Gary wanted to hear Ralph doing his ''Hey Now'' at a funeral. He has ways of doing his ''Hey Now'' thing for different situations. Ralph used a different inflection on his voice for each one. Ralph also gave Benjy some advice on how to do it better too. They had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said that he has never seen any of the guys on the show being chased down the street in all the years he's been on the show.
Benjy said he thinks that Lisa may have been on a bus and someone missed the bus and was chasing it and she got confused.
Gary said that they were out in L.A. one time when Howard's book was coming out. Gary said he, Jackie, Fred and Howard had pulled up at a hotel one time and a bunch of people followed the car to get autographs but that was like the biggest moment they ever had.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about Steve Langford converting to Judaism and if he got circumcised, would they have to weight it in pounds. The guys didn't laugh and said that was a long way to go for a joke. That led to Benjy talking about the conversion and what he thought it meant.
Lisa G came in and the guys started picking on her immediately. Lisa said that they were the number one music station at the time. Gary said that Howard had the number one station over all and they were on around the country and they didn't have those kind of fans chasing them.
Lisa said that this was just her one time when she had a group of girls chasing her down the street. Lisa said that she had just been on Rikki Lake's show and these girls ended up chasing her down the street. She said she heard her name screamed out and she just stood there so the girls could come over and meet her. Lisa said that they ran toward her and she didn't run away.
Jason said that Lisa can misread a situation because she once thought that Henry Hill had asked to finish on her face when he actually asked for a Caramel Macchiado.
Lisa said that she didn't misread the situation with the girls screaming out her name and running up to her. She said that they actually did that.
Lisa said that the fans they had were just as big as the fans were for Howard's show back then. Lisa said that they were something new in the area at the time and it was like the Howard Stern Show of the music radio stations.
Lisa said that their station was talking to the Hip Hop community in a way that touched the fans. Jason asked Lisa if she was actually speaking to the Hip Hop community. Lisa said that he'd have to ask the fans that.
Lisa said that she once sang with a group on the show. She said that she met Beyonce when she was like 14 years old too. She said she's trying to find the tape from the day she cried on her last day there.
Jason was trying to figure out how Lisa G was talking to the hip hop community but Lisa found that was kind of racist. Jason said he was just wondering how she was clicking with the community. Lisa said she was just being herself. Lisa said that maybe someone who used to listen to that station could call in and talk about it.
Benjy said that he sees what Lisa is talking about and he can see maybe a few 15 year olds running up to Lisa. Lisa said that she has had people yell out her name there at work who are huge fans of the show. She said she's not used to that kind of thing. She said that she's always surprised by it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard mentioned that a hip hop performer was going to be coming in. He asked Lisa if she would like to give a make over to the girls that come in with that guy. Lisa said she wouldn't be interested in that.
Lisa said she finds it odd that Howard has never been chased down the street before. Lisa said that it might be the age of the girls who were fans of their station. She said that young girls can be a little bit more excitable.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they have a DNA test that you can do that shows if you're Jewish. Benjy said that they can just nail down the area that you're from and not necessarily Jewish. That led to Benjy starting to get into a whole long discussion about that stuff so Jon and Gary had to cut him off when he started to get a little long winded.
Jon took a call from a woman who claimed that she was a huge fan of Lisa's and she was ground breaking when she was on that station she was on. She said that she was African American and she really did think that she was great back then. Lisa was thinking that the caller was a phony and she was being pranked.
The caller said that Lisa's job was to keep the guys in place back then and she did that job well. Jon asked Lisa if she feels that she has to do that with Artie and Howard these days. Lisa said that's not her job now so she doesn't feel that way.
Steve Langford came in and said that he was speechless about the Lisa stuff. Steve said that he was stumped on that. Jon asked him about his Judaism and if he has people giving him a hard time about it. Steve said that he went through the process to convert so he is a Jew.
Gary asked Steve if he has ever had someone say something anti-Semitic to him thinking that he wasn't a Jew. Steve said that he has had that happen to him before. Jason said that's even happened to him before. He said that people are just stupid.
Jon let Lisa and Steve go after that. He took a call from a guy who said that Artie should go after Lisa because she is hot. Jon tried to take another call from a guy who is a regular on ''Weeds'' but his phone connection was crappy. They ended up losing him.
Another caller said that he wanted to yell at Jason about the Battlestar Galactica thing. They only had a few seconds to talk about that before they ended the show.
Howard started off the show talking about how busy his day was yesterday. Robin was also missing for a few seconds before showing up. She said that she was locked out for a moment. She went out to the kitchen and when she came back she didn't have her badge with her to get back in. She said she must have lost it. Robin said it must have dropped off. Howard said that Toni has her's clipped to her hip. Robin said that's what she has too but it was gone.
Howard said that he's been researching getting a new phone for about a year now. He said he's so involved in the phone and he's thinking about this iPhone because you can download video podcasts. He said it's the greatest thing. Howard said that if you go to iTunes you can click on podcasts and they have a lot of great stuff. He said that they've come a long way since the old days.
Howard said that if you have some favorite podcasts you can let them download overnight and they'll be on your phone in the morning. Howard said they have stuff that streams in real time and it's beautiful. Howard said he's not sure that they can get that stuff on the other phones. He thinks that it's iPhone only. Howard said that you can watch all of this stuff on your iPhone. He said that SIRIUS is going to have an application so you can listen to radio on there.
Howard said he hates the fucking keyboard on the iPhone. He said that it does so many other cool things that he may have to get it. Artie said that he has guys showing him the phone all the time and they're doing fine with that keyboard.
Howard said that you don't know just how great the phone is until you play with it for a while. He said he likes a lot about that phone except for that keyboard. Howard said he's becoming a phone expert after finding out about this stuff.
Howard said he's been watching video about all kinds of Palm phones. He said the Blackberry phones are okay but they don't have the threaded texting. Howard said that the people from Treo tell him that he has to see it when it comes out but it won't be out until this summer. Howard said he's not sure if he can wait but for now he's going to get a temporary Treo. Howard said that he needs Wi-Fi.
Howard also heard that they may be getting phones there at SIRIUS when the new app comes out for the iPhone. Howard said that it's kind of awkward to type on that fake keyboard on the iPhone. Richard said it only took a few days to get used to that. Howard said he started to get used to it too.
Howard said that if anyone has phone question they should call him and ask. He said he's becoming an expert. Howard asked if Artie can download podcasts with his Blackberry. Artie wasn't sure about that. Howard said that Ralph had downloaded the Chris Rock comedy special on his iPhone and he'd put that kind of stuff on his iPhone too if he had one.
Richard said that porn is great on the iPhone too. Howard said he has kids and he doesn't need them finding that kind of stuff on his phone.
Robin said that she was reading about how people like to beat off in airplane bathrooms. Richard does that with his porn. Richard said that it doesn't take him long to do it.
Howard said he got an e-mail from Doug Herwitt about getting some other phone that he had never heard of. Howard said he's not going to do that. He's sticking to something popular.
Gary told Howard that someone he spoke to at CBS was telling him that Howard needs the T-Mobile G1 phone. Howard said the problem with that is that it's got a Windows operating system. (Google OS, not windows... some expert).
Gary said that he has friends who watch things on their iPhones and that screen is so small that he's not sure how they do that.
Howard said he just got the movie ''Punisher 2'' in Blu-Ray but he hasn't watched it yet. Howard said that it cost him $40. Gary said that if he downloaded those things then he wouldn't have to pay so much. Howard said that technology is going by so fast.
Howard said that he's stuck on the phones right now. He said that the cool thing is that he'll be able to listen to SIRIUS on it.
Howard said that he wants to have an application that lets him use the Lotus Notes thing. He said he needs something that pushes his mail to his phone before he logs in. Howard said that Beth has been getting upset with him for doing so much research. He told her that the reason they got such a great dog is because he did this kind of research for her. He gets obsessed with things and does this kind of thing with everything.
Richard said that you don't have to wait for your Lotus Notes e-mails to download. Richard said he doesn't have to wait for them at all. Howard insisted that he did but Richard said that they're always updated.
Sal came in and said that he was on a flight with Richard one time. He said he was in the bathroom after everyone had just shit all over the bathroom. Sal said there was shit all over the toilet and he was trying not to touch anything on the floor. He said that Richard was on line right behind him with just socks on. He said he knew that he was going to step into the shit puddle on the floor. Richard said he didn't give a shit and he had already been in there twice already. He saw Richard walk right in and step right into the puddle of shit and piss. His socks were soaked with that stuff after that.
Artie said that you know that he doesn't have a change of socks either. Robin said that he's probably got those shoes on still. Richard said he was wearing those same shoes today.
Howard said that you don't want your feet wet when you put your shoes on. Richard said that he figured he could avoid the piss but he was wrong. Artie asked him if he took his socks off that weekend. Richard said he probably did but then he probably put them back on. Howard said that would be a major story of his life if he did something like that.
Richard said that Sal takes newspapers and magazines into the bathroom when he goes on a plane. He once had 7 people in line waiting for him to finish one time. Howard asked Sal why he would do something like that. He figured that he'd be inhibited. Sal said that it takes him like 15 minutes to push out 3 turds and he has to relax.
Artie said that he saw the late Joel Siegel on a plane one time back in about 1999. He said that he was in first class and Joel was right next to him. They were in the first seat in first class. Artie said he got a bunch of newspapers to read and Joel asked to borrow one of them. When he did, he took it to the bathroom with him. Artie said that he had one of those gigantic asses and all he was thinking was that he was getting shit and piss all over his newspapers. He said the guy was in the bathroom for 30 minutes and then tried to give him the paper back.
Howard said that he thinks that Joel died of colon cancer or something. Robin said it was cancer but she wasn't sure what kind.
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Howard said that David Letterman just announced that he got married. Howard said that the guy is really strange and he does everything so fucked up. He said that he's been dating this woman for like 15 years and they have a kid now. He said that they went and got married secretly and it's like it's all about him.
Howard played the audio of Dave talking about getting married and it sounds like he's so pained by life. Howard said that the story is kind of sweet but it's so strange. Howard said that he should just embrace life and enjoy it.
Howard played the clip of Dave making his announcement after talking about Bruce Willis' marriage. They interrupted that clip for a short time and talked about the woman that Bruce married and how John Stamos may have gone out with her at some point.
Howard played the rest of the Letterman clip where he made the announcement about his marriage and how he and Regina had been going out since 1986. They have a 5 and a half year old son now. Howard said that they've been together for so long and the story is weird about how they drove down to city hall and got married. Howard said that it's okay to get married and to have a few friends.
Howard said he might go on that show tonight just to ream Dave. He said that he has a meeting today though so he can't do it today. He said maybe next Monday he'll go on so he can ream his ass. Artie said that there are probably SIRIUS executives rushing to get Howard to plug SIRIUS on the show.
Howard played more of the Letterman audio and Dave was talking about how things are feeling different to him since he got married. Dave told the story about how the marriage happened and he sounded miserable talking about it. Howard said that the whole thing was strange because they got married on a Thursday and the poor wife didn't get to celebrate it at all with her family.
Howard said that Dave should have been into it a little bit at least. He said that he sounds miserable talking about it in this clip. Howard said that Dave should think about how she feels. He figured that Dave would want to talk about how she's been by his side for the past 20 years and she's the best thing in his life.
Howard said he never knows what Paul Shaffer is talking about. He said he's kind of like Paula Abdul in that way. Howard said he could be a judge on American Idol.
Howard played more of the Letterman clip and Dave was talking about how he thought that married men admired that he wasn't married. He talked about how they went out to this place in Montana to get married. Dave said there was mud all over the place. Howard said that Dave is downplaying his fame and success and he doesn't understand that.
Dave said that he, Regina and Harry were in their pick up truck out there and that's how they got out to the court house to get married. They ended up getting suck in the mud on the way there. Howard said it sounds like he's trying to be Amish or something. He said that woman is a saint for putting up with that. Howard figured that Dave could get her a limo for something like this.
In the clip Dave talks about getting stuck in the mud and waiting for someone to come out and help them. Howard said he really has to go on the show now to talk to Dave about this story. He said that he should have had a cell phone on him to call someone to help him out with the stuck truck. Howard made fun of Dave and the way he's acting like he's not famous out there in Montana. Howard said that these stories are like those stories about people who die in the wilderness.
Dave went on with his story and talked about how he had to walk home to get a car. Howard was making fun of Dave again talking about him like he was some back woods hick. Howard said that this is some party he's having. Howard said that Dave is a very wealthy man and he probably took a private jet out to that place in Montana. Howard said he's trying to be the common man but he has 2700 acres out in Montana.
Howard said it sounds like Harry can't wait to get out of that house in Montana. He said that Dave could get away from his fans on a warm, tropical island too. He said this really sounds nutty to him. He said Dave is a weird dude.
Howard said that Dave should buy that Beverly Hillbillies truck and drive that around out there in Montana. Howard said he could have all of the women and critters in the back of the truck as he's driving around.
Howard continued to make fun of Dave and wondered what kind of fantasy the guy has about that stuff. Artie said he gets pissed off at people who camp. Howard said he camped when he was a kid but that's because his parents sent him to a poor camp.
Robin said she's sure that Regina was in jeans out there. She probably got married in her jeans. Howard wondered what the fuck Dave is up to out there. He said it's like he's going out of his way to make that girl miserable. Howard said that he can't make it all about himself like that. He said it sounds really miserable out there with Dave.
Howard said that Dave said something to him on his show one time about him upsetting Regina when he said something. Howard said that's funny because Dave is marrying the poor girl at a court house in Montana.
Howard said that he's a drama queen. He said he's just so mental he's like a chick. The caller said he didn't think he was like that. Howard said he really is mental.
Artie asked Howard if he knows what two streets flank their building. Howard guessed that they were between 48th and 49th. He was right. He knew that they were in the McGraw Hill Building too. Artie asked him if he knew which way to go if he walked out on the 49th street side to hit 6th Ave. Howard said left but he was wrong.
Howard said he once got lost bringing his daughter to the doctor. He said he was lost for 3 hours trying to get home and he was screaming and yelling the whole way. Howard said that he grew up in that area too and that's the crazy part. He should have known the area.
Artie asked Howard to give the avenues and how they're laid out there in the city. Howard went through them but he was getting a bunch of them wrong. The caller was giving some of the answers so Howard hung up on him since he thought he was ruining the bit.
Howard continued to rattle off the names but he only knew some of the stuff uptown. He said he's more familiar with those roads up there. Fred knew a lot too. Howard said that Fred knew nothing when they first moved to the area. Fred said that he does know it now.
Howard told the guy not to get a divorce either. The daughters don't like that. Howard told the guy that he might want to give up the kid for adoption now based on what he's hearing this morning.
Another caller asked why Howard is being such a dick toward Letterman about his wedding. Howard said that he knows the wife wasn't on board for a wedding like that. The caller said ''so what?'' and said that Howard is an elitist and that's why he's doing this. Howard said that he's not an elitist, he put that woman through hell. He said that Dave can afford a car to drive them down to City Hall to get married.
Howard said that he's going to go on the show and bust Dave's balls too. The caller said that it's none of Howard's business what kind of wedding he has. Howard said that Dave has to do everything weird and that's just the way it is.
Howard asked the caller if he thinks that Dave is a happy man. The caller said he thinks that he's a very happy man. Howard and Artie said that Dave isn't a happy guy at all. Fred said that he does seem happy about his son. Robin said Dave has to thank that woman for that son.
Howard took a call from John Boy who said that he was thinking about this Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman break up. He said that there are some couples that have broken up after hanging out with Howard and Beth. He said that John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn broke up too. Howard said that he and Beth were talking about how they really like to be alone and don't care to hang out with other people.
Artie said that he and Dana used to fight after hanging out with Howard and Beth too. Howard said that he and Beth were talking about how odd it is that they may never hang out with Jimmy and Sarah again. They don't hang out with many people at all and they just hang out with each other most of the time.
John Boy told Howard he should hang out with Sal and his wife. Howard he can't see that happening because they seem so miserable. Fred said that Sal would be taking pictures and looking through all of Howard's stuff if he had him over to his house too. Howard said that Sal and his wife should just hang it up after all of this stuff they've gone through.
Howard said that he'd like to help Jimmy and Sarah work things out. He said he'd like to get them together to talk about it. Robin said it may be too late for that now. She said that he should have done something sooner.
Jon Boy asked if anything weird ever went on with Jimmy and Sarah like it did with John Stamos and Rebecca. Howard said that they didn't do anything that weird with John and Rebecca and they never did anything with Jimmy and Sarah. Howard said that Jimmy and Sarah were physical with each other but he never saw or heard them having sex or anything like that.
Howard said he thought that they had a good relationship from what he could see. Fred said that they both seem to have a lot of stress in their careers so that may have had something to do with it.
Howard said that Sarah actually turned him down for the therapy session. Howard said that Jimmy may have to go out and fuck a few whores. Fred threw in Ronnie's ''Lets Fuck Some Whores!'' clip while they were talking about that.
Benjy asked Howard about the John and Rebecca thing and if they were really ready to do something. Howard said that he's not sure just how into it they would have been. He said that he thinks that he could have made something happen but Beth may not have stuck around if they had. He said that they're just not like that.
Howard said that there are some couples who can do that stuff where they fuck other people in front of each other but he's not into that.
Howard said that he's happy for Letterman getting married but it sounds like Dave isn't even happy. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that he has to shoot a scene for Howard TV during the next break. Howard said that they're doing a shoot for the Show in the Hallway. He said that he should be able to get it in one take.
Howard said that Soundgarden was a great band. He said that they just couldn't stay together. Howard said the one disappointment in his career is that he never had a hit song. He said that even Rick Dees had a hit song. Robin said that Howard doesn't need to be known for having a hit song like ''Disco Duck.''
Howard said that he has no idea what Black Hole Sun is about. Fred said that he checked it on the web and they claim that there's something called the Black Hole Sun out in Seattle that you look through and see the Space Needle. The lyrics don't have any particular meaning.
Howard was still singing along to Black Hole Sun a couple of minutes later. Howard said that they really were a great band. Artie told Jason to put that song on his iPod for him. Howard said that Artie can't live for another minute without that song.
Artie said that he had just discovered cocaine around the time that this song came out. Artie said that he has the paperback of his book coming out in a few months so he's telling some more stories for that. Howard said he's glad that he's doing that.
Artie said he just re-read the foreword that Howard wrote and it really was great. Artie said they just got a great review with the audio book from a guy who was a fan of the show. Artie said that guy got why they put Levy on that thing.
Howard said that this story was weird. The guy said that his son's girlfriend was up in their room and she got a call from someone who told her to come down because something was going on. The guy said that there were 17 people in the pool and no one did anything to save him when he was in the water. He said the people around the pool, who were white, tried to save him but none of the Mexican's did.
Artie asked him about the embalming and why he was upset about that. The caller, Billy, said that he didn't know but they didn't do the right kind of autopsy. Howard asked who found him. Billy said that someone just bumped into him in the pool and that's how they found he was dead.
Billy said that a doctor showed up about 20 minutes later and the doctor told them to just leave the guy alone because he was just drunk. Then they put a sheet over him and said he was dead even though he wasn't dead.
Billy said that this is why they started their web site MexicoVacationAwareness.com. Howard thanked him for calling in and said he as sorry for his loss. Billy thanked him for taking the call.
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Howard said that Elephant Boy is there and he has to do something to meet this Kurt Angle guy. Howard said that Elephant Boy has gained a few pounds. He was wearing that fanny pack that he used to wear back in the 1980s. Howard said that it looks like a colostomy bag on his side and it doesn't match anything that he's wearing. He said that it was a maroon or purple color.
Howard asked Elephant Boy why he would get that color. Elephant Boy mumbled something about it that I didn't understand. Elephant Boy told Howard what he keeps in that sack of his. Howard told him that he could find something cooler than a fanny pack.
Artie said that Elephant Boy reminds him of a celebrity and it just hit him. Howard said he knows what Artie is talking about. Artie was thinking of a musician but Fred and Howard were thinking of actors. Artie said that he looks like Ronnie Wood. Fred said it was David Arquette. Howard said it wasn't either of them for him. He said that it was someone else. Elephant Boy said he's been told he looks like Emilio Estevez when he was younger. No one believed that.
Howard asked Elephant Boy if he's straight now. He claims that he is. Howard said that when you do gay stuff then maybe you're gay all your life. That's basically what Artie believed. Howard asked Elephant Boy if he would get naked and suck Kurt Angle's cock if he asked him to. Elephant Boy said that he's not into that stuff anymore and he's a straight man now.
Elephant Boy said that he would have double the hard time getting men than he does with women. He said he's pretty sure he can't get good looking men so he sticks with the women.
Howard asked Elephant Boy if he still has that girlfriend. He said that he does but she's still in jail. She's been in jail for 2 years now. Elephant Boy said that she's doing okay in there. He said that she's not getting it on with the girls in there, that's not her thing. Elephant Boy said that she never went through a phase like he did.
Elephant Boy said that she went to jail for distributing prescription drugs to people. He went through a whole explanation but it wasn't a very clear explanation.
Howard asked Elephant Boy why he's mad at Doug Goodstein. Elephant Boy said that he tried to get some information out of them after making an inquiry and they never heard from him. He said that Doug thought he was harassing them but he was just checking with them every few days. Elephant Boy was trying to get complimentary Howard TV thing but they wouldn't tell him if they could or not.
Doug came in and said he gave him an answer and he just didn't take that answer. Doug said that he became a pain in the ass and he stopped looking into it after a while. Doug said that he was looking into getting it for him but it's not something they can just switch on. Howard asked how long it should take. Howard told him to just get it for him.
Doug also said that Fred didn't just stink at the Bowling Beauties show, he reeked. Doug said that he smelled good today though. He sniffed him and said that he smelled okay but it was like a deodorant covering up the smell of B.O.
Howard said he doesn't understand Elephant Boy because he did that one thing where he had shit running down his legs when he went to see Gary. Elephant Boy said that he was put in a position that he didn't want to be in. He just kept going on his way to the event even though he had shit himself.
Elephant Boy said that he does make stupid mistakes sometimes. Howard said that he's not retarded but he went to that Gary appearance with shit running down his leg. Artie said that he would go home first instead.
The guys talked about that time that Elephant Boy did that shit thing and ended up wiping his leg on a tarp at the car dealer that Gary was appearing at.
Howard said he was thinking that they could have Elephant Boy sit in and then tell Kurt Angle that he was mouth fucked by a gang when he was younger so that's why he speaks the way he does. Howard said he's not sure Kurt would fall for that.
Howard said that they could do a thing where Elephant Boy gets to sit for 5 minutes with Kurt. If he gets any wrong then he would have to get his face slapped with Sal and Richard's cocks. They could also tea bag him. Howard said that they could make him ride the Sybian. Elephant Boy said that he wouldn't want that so that was probably what they were going to do. Howard said that's what they'll do then.
Robin asked Elephant Boy how old he is. He said that he's actually 50 years old. They talked about how he's really not a ''boy'' anymore so Howard called him Elephant Man.
Howard asked Elephant Boy why he likes Kurt Angle so much. Elephant Boy said that he likes wrestling and he's been a fan for many years. He used to like Mick Foley and has been on the show with him in the past. He said that if those guys give a good performance then he's going to like them. That's why he liked Mick Foley and now Kurt Angle.
Howard asked Elephant Boy if he's ever been ass fucked. Elephant Boy said he never was but Howard said he as a liar. Elephant Boy then revealed that maybe he had. Howard said it's no wonder he was shitting his pants. Elephant Boy said that he has no memory of that so that's why he was saying ''no'' to it. Artie said that he would have that date marked on his calendar.
Howard asked Elephant Boy if he would let Hulk Hogan skull fuck him. Elephant Boy said that he would be dead if he let him do that. Howard said he thinks that he's lying about not wanting that. Robin asked him what he likes the best, oral or anal. Elephant Boy said that he likes oral.
Howard asked Elephant Boy how he got it for the first time. Elephant Boy said that he thinks it was an ad that he found the guy through. Howard asked him why he doesn't just go with men instead of women. He didn't give him time to answer.
Howard gave Elephant Boy an F, Marry, Kill game to play with Mick Foley, Kurt Angle and Hulk Hogan. Elephant Boy thought about it and he said he would marry Mick Foley, fuck Kurt and kill Hulk Hogan. He said that Hulk is retired so that's why he'd kill him.
Howard asked Elephant Boy if he's attracted to high Pitch Mike. Fred said he's not. He said he respects him but he's not into him that way. He said that Mike would be wasting his time with him. Elephant Boy said that he hasn't had sex in years now but he's not looking to have a man. Elephant Boy said that Mike could find so many ''better fellas'' that would be better for him.
Howard told Elephant Boy that Mike would probably blow him. He asked him if he would want that. Elephant Boy said that he's not looking for that.
Howard told Elephant Boy that they're going to let him talk to Kurt Angle but he has to sit on the Sybian. He said that they have a sexy bikini for him to wear while he's sitting on that thing. He told him to go get ready for that. Artie said they sure find a lot of guys to do gay stuff to meet these wrestlers.
Howard asked Elephant Boy what size cocks he likes. Elephant Boy said he's not sure what size he likes. Artie said that it must be a big, thick cock that he likes. Artie asked him if he would strap that giant Barrett Long cock to his face. Elephant Boy said that he didn't want to do that but he would put it on his body somewhere.
Howard told Elephant Boy to go get ready with the bikini and fake cock. He told him to get rid of that fanny pack too. Artie said that the shirt he was wearing was really ugly too. Artie said it was piss yellow and shit brown.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Spice Boy from Bubba's show did a phone sex thing with Kurt's ex-wife that they played on the air. About two weeks later the news came out that Kurt and his wife were splitting up. Howard said maybe that's why they ended up divorcing. Howard said he'd be pissed if he were Kurt.
Lisa G came in with her Howard 100 News preview. Lisa said that Star Jones has Twittered about Robin Quivers. She said that a fan had asked her about Robin on Twitter and she said that Robin was a very nice woman.
Howard said he was reading about their old station that has gone from being K-Rock to Now FM. He said that they hired a new DJ over there and the guy got locked out of the building and he went on his Twitter and the audience was able to watch him walking up the stairs with him as he got into the building. Now CBS thinks that this is all a part of what they do and it's going to make them very happening.
Howard read the article where they talk about how this guy ''Chunky'' had to walk up 14 flights of stairs because the elevator was broken. They were making a big deal out of the guy being able to Twitter his whole walk up. The guy used Facebook and Myspace as well and the station was making a huge deal out of it like it was ground breaking stuff.
Howard said that the whole thing was lame. Howard read more of the article and they were saying that the DJs will be able to interact with the fans now while they're on the air and off. Howard said they're making it seem like Z-100 won't be able to do this because they're old.
Howard read the rest of the article and goofed on the comments that the people from the station were making about this new thing they have going on.
JD came in and said that he has some audio from a show over there where this DJ has a guest on who they have on just to talk about make up. Howard thought he had the audio available but JD said that he would have to look that up. Howard said he understands Elephant Boy better than he understands JD.
Lisa said that SternFanNetwork.com is back up and running after it was down for some upgrades. Howard asked if they still have that cartoony look to it. Lisa said that it does look the same but they have new features over there. Howard said that he'd like them to get some new fans over there who don't bash them.
Jason came in and said that there is nothing on this Chunky guy's Twitter page about the lock out at the station. Jason said that he didn't check Facebook but he was on his radio page and didn't see any of what they're talking about in that article. Howard told him to look into that some more and figure out what's going on. Howard said the whole thing is screwy.
Lisa said that High Pitch Mike attended a Britney Spears concert last night. Lisa said that he went to that concert with a friend instead of going alone like he has in the past.
Lisa said that 23 years ago today was the day that Howard and the crew were over in London doing shows. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that he heard that Kurt was there a little early. He said that they need to get Elephant Boy set up first though. Howard asked Will if he was ready to go. Richie Wilson said he was ready and they had the fake cock strapped to his chest.
Howard asked who is going to run the Sybian. Will said that Gary was going to do it. Gary said that Jason said he was willing to do it today so he won't be doing it.
Howard had Elephant Boy come in dressed in his bikini with the cock strapped to his chest. There was some laughter as that was happening. Howard had Elephant Boy sitting on the Sybian and said that his balls were hanging out of the bikini. He wanted to test out the Sybian so Howard had them turn that on and asked Elephant Boy to ask a question while it was on. Elephant Boy will be asking his questions while that thing is on. Elephant Boy said it was tickling him in that general area down there. It wasn't just his balls that it was tickling.
Artie told Elephant Boy to try and suck that cock on his chest. Will and Richie were saying that Elephant Boy stunk today.
Howard had the guys bring in Kurt Angle. He's in there to promote the TNA wrestling event they have coming up soon. Howard told Kurt that Elephant Boy was a huge fan of his and he was there to ask some questions. Howard had Fred ask him how he was doing and Kurt said he was doing good until he got in there.
Kurt asked Elephant Boy how many titles he had won. Elephant Boy said that he thought it was 3 or 4 but it was actually 12. They had the Sybian running whenever he'd ask a question or answer one. Elephant Boy asked him how his brother was doing. Kurt said that he's doing okay and he's out of wrestling now. He said that he looks exactly like him so they used to switch in the ring and stuff.
Kurt said that his brother is a welder now. Howard said he likes that they have Elephant Boy on the Sybian today. Elephant Boy was asking some more questions and telling Kurt how great he thinks he is. He said that Howard is great too and compared the two.
Howard told Elephant Boy to go put on some pants. He said that he had seen enough of that. Kurt said that Howard sure has on some sick people on his show. He said that he's not sure if it's the fans or Howard himself.
Howard asked Kurt about not being with Vince McMahon anymore. Kurt said that he had a falling out with him a few years ago and he had to get away from that. He said that Vince didn't want to let him take time off to get some help for the pain killers he was taking. Kurt said that he was taking extra strength stuff back then but he hasn't had any in about four years now. He said that he was taking Percoset and stuff like that.
Kurt told Howard that he wanted to go to rehab to get off of all of that stuff but Vince didn't want to let him take the time off. He said that Vince would let people take time off in the past but because he had just started with the ECW, Vince didn't want to let him do it. He said that Vince wanted him to do it on his own instead of going to rehab. Kurt said it ended up taking him 5 months to clean up.
Kurt said that Vince is kind of one of those guys who gives you that hard love. He said that he wanted him to clean up but wanted him to do it on his own. Kurt said that he needed help doing that.
Howard asked Kurt if he divorced his wife because of this stuff or because of Spice Boy. Kurt said that he got her into wrestling and that's when she asked for the divorce. Kurt said he thinks that's what happened but he can't say who it was.
Kurt said that he was with his wife for 14 years and he was still content with her. He said that the pain killer thing didn't have to do with it. He said that the divorce just happened 2 months ago and she's a millionaire now. He said that she didn't get all of his money but she's getting paid well. He said they have two kids together so he has to pay but he doesn't mind it as long as she's spending it on them.
Howard said it doesn't sound like Kurt is a jealous man. Kurt said he was pissed at first but now he's okay with it. He said that he knows that someone in the business did something and he knows that for sure.
Kurt said that he has done a lot with TNA in the past couple of years and they've gotten the audience up since he got there. He said that his wife didn't want to stay in the hotel room with him and she'd stay out all night. He said that she would tell him that she was just hanging out with friends in the lobby. Kurt said that he had cheated on her a few times so she may have been getting back at him. He said that they were separated at the time though so he's not sure if that's really cheating. Howard said it's not cheating if you're separated.
Kurt said his ex-wife is a great mother. He said that she wasn't the best sex he's ever had though. Howard found out that Kurt actually had feelings toward Robin. Kurt said he wrote her a poem actually. Kurt said he loved Howard's movie and Robin in the movie. Kurt said that he may be in love with Robin and he has dated a black woman since his divorce. Kurt said that he wasn't even able to look at Robin as he's talking about her.
Howard asked Kurt to read the poem to Robin. Artie said that the good thing for him is that they have to like the poem because he could kill them if they didn't. Kurt told the guys that he could take them all down pretty easy. He was an Olympic gold medal winner in wrestling so he knows how to take a guy down. Kurt told Howard that he thinks that he would take a little longer to take down because he's so tall.
Kurt said that he thinks he may have a little bit of black in him so that might explain why he's so into Black women. He said he has really curly hair that he got from his mom and he thinks that maybe there was some black on her side of the family.
Howard told Kurt that Robin is used to having 11 inch cocks in her so he wondered if he'd be able to keep up with that. Kurt said that he doesn't have one that big but he would do whatever it takes to make her happy.
Howard asked Kurt to read the poem. Kurt read it to her and Howard was chuckling as he was reading it. Howard let him read through the whole thing and Kurt was telling Robin that he's much better in bed than vegetables and meat. Kurt said that he would never bitch about an $800 bottle of wine either. He talked about going to the theater and Starbucks but asked her to never squirt it up his ass. Kurt also said that he's much better hung than Jim Florentine. Kurt also said he didn't care about Robin's 34 narcissism score. Kurt also asked her how ''Robin Ophelia Angle'' sounded to her. Howard answered for her and said ''yes'' to that.
The guys told Kurt that the poem was great. Howard asked Robin what she said to him about this. Robin said that she was impressed. She said that he hasn't asked her out yet so she's not sure if she would or not. Howard asked if she was ready to be a step-mom to his kids. Robin said she loves kids so she would do that. Then Kurt asked her if she would go out. She said yes to that. Kurt figured that she'd say no to him so he wasn't prepared for that.
Howard asked Kurt if he could handle a relationship with Robin since he's out on the road so much. Kurt said he could do that no problem.
Howard asked Kurt how long he's in town. Kurt said he has to leave today but he'll be back in the country in a couple of weeks and he'd like to set something up with her after that. Robin said they were off to a running start then.
Howard asked Kurt if he has any problems getting it up for Robin. Kurt said he has no problems with that at all. Howard told Kurt that Robin likes it from behind so he might want to try that. Howard asked Kurt if he likes anal. Kurt said that he has done it. Howard said that Robin would be up for that. Howard said that this is on then.
Kurt figured that he could probably do Robin 3 or 4 times in one night. Howard warned him that Robin doesn't swallow. Robin said that she's saving herself for marriage.
Howard gave Kurt a plug for this TNA Lockdown special they have coming up. He said that Kurt will be there and you can find tickets at TicketMaster.com.
Howard asked Robin if she's going to go see him at this thing on April 19th. Robin said that she's actually got plans that weekend and she won't be able to make it. She said that she has to be at home that night so she can't go to the event.
Kurt said that he was sweating thinking about this whole thing. Howard read that Kurt had dated this Rocka Kahn who is a black wrestler. Kurt said he dated her at the wrong time but she's a great person.
Howard read that Kurt once spent $2,000 at a strip club. Kurt said that he feels like a pervert when he goes to those clubs and when a girl gets on you he has a 3 foot rule for himself. He said that he doesn't like the knee in his crotch so he keeps them a few feet away.
JD came in and told Howard he was watching some video on the web of a reality show that Kurt was on and he was scared for Robin's safety. He said that one of the girls that Kurt dated threatened Kurt's wife. Kurt didn't seem to think that Robin should have any worries about that.
Howard read that Kurt once made out with a woman who turned out to be a transsexual. He didn't know it at the time but found out weeks later when he went on the Rikki Lake show. The woman claimed to be Kathy Ireland's sister. Kurt said that this woman had contacted him and flew him out to meet her. This was years ago when he was in the Olympics. Kurt said that the chick fooled him and he had no idea. He said that he made out with that chick for 7 hours!
Howard said that had to be the shock of his life. Kurt said that he had never kissed a man before. Kurt said that she had breast implants but she wouldn't let him go down below. He said that he had no part of her after that whole thing went down. Kurt said that he would have killed her if he had run into her again.
Howard asked if the transsexual played with his cock at all. Kurt said that she did. Howard kept calling her a ''he'' but Kurt asked him to please call it a she. Howard joked that they had her there today but he was just kidding.
Howard asked Kurt how he's feeling these days. Kurt said that he's doing great and feeling the best he's felt since he was in the Olympics.
Howard said he had the Iron Sheik on the phone for Kurt. Sheik was on the line and said hello to Howard and Robin and everyone else there first. Then Sheik was going off on Kurt and calling him names like he's done to Hulk Hogan in the past. Sheik said that he could beat the shit out of him. Kurt said that Hogan beat the shit out of Sheik. Kurt also said that Sheik is full of shit and he was never in the Olympics.
Sheik was going off on Kurt and saying that he had been in the Olympics. He called him names and told him that he could beat his ass. Gary said that Sheik was actually eliminated in his country's trials for the Olympics.
Sheik was yelling at the guy and couldn't hear much of what was being said back to him. Kurt said he can't fight Sheik because he's in a wheel chair. Kurt said he'd be afraid of killing the guy. Kurt said the guy walks on his ankles.
Howard had Eric the Midget on the phone. He wanted to say hi to Kurt. Eric said hi to him and Robin rubbed it in his face that he wanted to go out with her and not out with Eric. Eric didn't care. Eric asked if Kurt was going to be out in Oakland in May. Kurt said that he'll get him back stage when that happens. He said he'll make sure he's at the show and back stage. Eric said he would like that. He thanked Kurt for that. Howard put Eric on hold after that.
Howard said that Kurt is on a role today with setting up the date with Robin and all of that. Howard said that he hopes they work all of that stuff out.
Kurt said that he also did a show with Beth one time. He said that he did that Casino Cinema show and she was great to work with. Kurt said the producer got upset with him when he pretended to be getting drunk during the shoot.
Howard was wrapping up with Kurt but they ended up talking more about Robin. Howard told Kurt about Robin's breast reduction and told him that those huge things are after the reduction. Kurt just said ''Wow!'' Howard told him about the many things that she's into with her health and all. They had to go to break a short time later.
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Howard came back after the Boston song and said that he figured that everyone would want to hear that whole song. He said he was actually busy doing a million things. He was eating lunch, saying goodbye to Kurt Angle, Robin's new boyfriend. Robin said that she thinks that whole thing was a goof. Howard said it wasn't and she will date him and love it.
Robin said that Kurt doesn't have any way of getting in touch with her. She said that wasn't real at all. Howard said that her whole voice changed when she found out that he was into her. Howard said that Robin was wrong and she was misreading his signals.
Robin said she can tell when things are going on and there was nothing going on there. Howard said that he thinks that Kurt was serious. Robin didn't believe it at all. Artie said that he thought Kurt was into Robin.
Howard told Gary to ask Kurt why he didn't get Robin's number. He was still there in the green room. Gary wasn't in his office. Gary came in a few seconds later and said that he did ask for Robin's e-mail. Robin said that she didn't even know that. Gary went out and asked how he got that because Robin didn't give it out.
Howard said that it really wasn't a goof. She thought that about Florentine too according to Artie. Howard said that Kurt is into her. Howard said that everyone else thought it was real.
Howard said he knows that Robin is going to be banging that guy. Robin said that's not true. Gary came back in and said that one of Kurt's people got the e-mail address from someone in the hallway but they didn't know which guy it was that gave it out.
Howard told Gary to go back out and ask them what they want. Howard said that Kurt might be embarrassed to come back into the studio. Gary said that Kurt didn't seem embarrassed at all when he was in there. Howard said that Kurt doesn't have Robin's real e-mail or phone number. Robin told Gary to give him all of that information. Howard told him to give Kurt Robin's keys to her apartment.
Artie brought up a Bad Company song and Howard said that he was just listening to that yesterday. That led to Howard playing the song and talking about how great the band was.
Ralph called in and told Robin not to give out her phone number. Gary told him that it was too late. Robin said she doesn't answer her phone anyway. Ralph figured that the guy would be banging Robin because he's not going to take no for an answer. Howard told Robin to hold out for a little while and not do him on the first date.
Robin said that she's not that easy. Howard said he's not sure about that. Ralph said that she did have that one guy who came on the show pretty quick. Robin told him that's not true.
Howard said that Robin's voice changed when she found out that Kurt liked her. He did an impression of how it changed. Robin didn't think that happened though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was some interview they just did. The guy said that Kurt wasn't fooling around at all. Howard had to move on to the news block after that.
Steve went on to talk about how Eric the Midget might be ripping off one fan. The guy claims he never got his picture and now Eric is upset with him for contacting the news so Eric is saying he won't be helping him out.
Artie said that he was thinking about this Ass Napkin Ed thing and how Ed is actually a mad genius and not an idiot. He said that he's selling tickets to this back stage thing and he'll be getting that money and the free food he brings out to them. He said the guy is brilliant.
Steve said that the Connecticut School of Broadcasting is back in business temporarily. They're going to let their current students graduate before closing down again.
Steve said that Scores may be returning to New York. They're reported to be reopening soon. Howard said that they're Rick's guys now and not Scores. Artie said without Lonnie, they can forget it.
Jon Hein came in and ran down his list of subjects for today's Wrap Up Show. He brought up the Kurt Angle thing and then Artie had a new verse for his poem about Kurt giving up masturbating like Jon Hein.
Howard said that he did his acting thing during the commercial break. He had to try out a different chair in the scene so he did three takes. He said they were fine with the one take but he wanted to do more.
Robin read a story about the Rolling Stone magazine top people who have changed America and Howard wasn't on the list. Howard said he thinks that they turned on him. Artie said that it was a huge deal for Howard to be on the cover of that magazine a couple of times. Howard said it really was a big deal but when he went off on Jann Wenner a few years back he thinks that they got upset with him. He said that Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert are on that list at number 5 so he doesn't think that they've changed America. Artie said that they're very talented but he's never seen bigger media darlings. He said that they didn't change America.
Howard said that he should make a list of the most influential people and put himself at number one. He said that Will Ferrall was on that list too and he doesn't understand that at all.
Robin said she got over Rolling Stone the time they put Britney Spears on the cover. She said that's when they jumped the shark for her. Artie said that they used to have some cool covers on that magazine but now they've put Britney Spears on and guys like 'N Sync. Howard said that they do have to get into contemporary music so that's why they have to do that kind of thing. There's really nothing happening in music so they had to reinvent themselves.
Robin read a story about a study that was done about red meat killing people. Robin said that it won't kill you immediately but it can kill you later on. Robin said that they found that just 4 ounces a day shows that you'll be dead sooner than those who eat poultry and fish. Howard said that Artie is in trouble then. He said that he's eating red meat and smoking among other things.
Howard read an e-mail from a guy who said that Artie's vomiting down in Florida was from heroin. Artie said ''Yeah, heroin is the only thing on earth that makes you throw up.'' Howard thinks that Artie is going to be around a long time like Leslie West has been.
Howard said he got a note about the Green Lantern and how he can't just create Kryptonite like Howard thought he could. Howard said that the Green Lantern can create something like a shovel so he figured he could create anything.
Howard read some feedback about the caller who had the movie idea where they'd have a werewolf on the moon. Howard thought the idea was ridiculous. Howard said that there was someone else saying that Green Lantern can create Kryptonite. They spent a few minutes going over that comic book character stuff.
Robin read some news about Alzheimer's. She had some details about depression and some studies that were done about that.
Howard read a story about a 15 year old kid who was suspended for farting on the school bus. He passed some gas that was so bad it was hard for the kids to breathe. Howard said that things are getting a little too crazy out there but you really shouldn't be farting on a bus like that.
Ralph called in and said that the Green Lantern can create items but not substances like apple pie or Kryptonite. Howard said that he could make a frying pan and hit you over the head with it and kill you. Ralph said that he can only make the shapes though. Ralph said that the frying pan would just look like a frying pan, it wouldn't be made out of iron. Howard told him to get off the phone and hung up on him.
Robin read a story about Robin Williams having open heart surgery this weekend. Howard said that Robin has looked kind of odd to him lately. He said that he seems to have gained a lot of weight. Robin said the doctors predict that he'll recover fully because his heart is strong.
Robin and Howard talked about President Obama going on the Tonight Show and joking about the Special Olympics. Howard said that people are way too politically correct these days. Howard said that it's such a little thing for people to get upset over. He said he has a lot of other things that people should be worried about, not the Special Olympics comment.
Howard got a note from Benjy who said that the Green Lantern can create a simulated Green Kryptonite. Howard said he knew that was the case. They spent a little more time on that subject before Robin got back to her news.
Robin read a story about Matt Lauer not being on the Today Show for the past couple of days after he had a close call with a deer. He flipped over his bicycle handlebars when he hit the deer on a bike ride. Howard said that's pretty scary.
Howard said that deer are like the sharks of today. Robin read a story about Tyrese Gibson asking people to give Chris Brown some space. The guys spent a short time goofing on that guy. Howard said that kind of attitude isn't going to help. They pointed out that Brown allegedly beat up a woman.
Robin read some news about the Octomom. She apparently let her nannies go. Robin said that TMZ had some audio of a 911 call that was made to have Gloria Alred moved from the Octomom house. Howard said he thinks that she might be their future Jessica Hahn. He said they have to send her some flowers to make nice with her.
Robin read about a guy who used the numbers on Bernie Maodff's mug shot to play in the lottery. He didn't win a lot but he did win $1,500.
Howard wondered where all of Madoff's money went to. They say they found about a billion of the $65 billion he stole. Howard said that he obviously didn't spend that other $64 billion.
Robin read some news about this ''free'' concert that Jay Leno is doing for the workers of Detroit. She said that it's not really a free concert like they claim it is. Howard said that it's obvious he's just doing that for the publicity for his new TV show. There's a woman out in Detroit who is putting together another show that will feature some musical acts for the auto workers in Detroit and it will actually be in Detroit.
Robin read some news about David Letterman's marriage. Howard kept his comments to a minimum since he talked about it so long earlier in the morning. He did talk about it a little bit though. He was talking about the weird way Dave does things. Howard said that the guy didn't even say he loves that woman during that segment. Howard said that he's a really strange guy that way.
Robin read some news about AIG executives who have been taking bonuses after they were bailed out by the government. Some of them are giving the money back, others aren't.
Robin had some news about ''sexting'' where you send cell phone pictures of yourself to others. There are a lot of kids doing that and getting arrested for sending child porn. Robin said there was a girl who did that and ended up hanging herself when the pictures spread to other students. Robin said that they're looking to create new laws to protect teens.
Robin asked if Howard thinks that the morning after pill should be available to 17 year olds. Howard said yes. Robin said that Howard didn't even hesitate answering that. Howard said that everyone should be allowed to have that pill, even 4 year olds.
Robin said that gun shops in Colorado are running low because of the huge run on ammo. It's bigger now than it was back in 2000 around the Y2K thing. Robin had some audio of a guy taking about why they think this is happening. People are stockpiling because they're afraid that Obama is going to outlaw guns and ammo.
Robin read a story about some new odor free clothes that were created in Japan. They say that you can wear your underwear for more than week without smell. Robin said they must have been created for Richard. Howard wondered what happens to the smelly panty business when they come out with that stuff.
Robin had a story about the news guy who was killed and the cops are claiming that it was a crime of passion. The cops are saying that it was a gay slaying and they're investigating it further. Fred played Elephant Boy's ''Hi there couples...'' audio clip after that.
Robin read a story about Seth Rogan's latest movies that he's in. He's in ''Observe and Report'' and in ''Monsters Vs Aliens.'' She had some audio of Seth talking about how lucky he is to be able to do all of that stuff. Howard said he likes that he's high all the time.
Artie said he doesn't get why people think that Paul Rudd is so funny and why he gets in all of these movies. Howard said he doesn't find him funny either. Artie said that there are a lot of people out there who do think he's hilarious.
Howard played some more of Seth Rogan talking and there was a woman interviewing him who was laughing in the background. Artie was making fun of that a little bit. Fred played some Gilbert Gottfried laughing during that.
Howard talked about Miley Cyrus a little bit and played some audio of a radio show where Miley talked about trying to get in to see Radiohead and they treated her like crap by refusing to let her come in and see her. Miley said she was going to try to ruin them after that.
Howard said that he's going to make it his mission to ruin the Hoedown Throwdown special that Miley is going to be part of. Artie said he's pretty sure that's going to ruin itself. Howard played some Radiohead ''Creep'' and sang along to that.
Ralph called in and said that this stuff shows that Miley has no idea what a real musician is doing before a show. Ralph called her the C-word but Howard and Robin told him that she's just a kid.
Robin read some news about American Idol and played some audio clips from that. Robin ended her news and Howard ended the show around 10:35am.
Gary said that he puts this right up there with what Clarence Clemens did for Robin on the show. He also thinks that he was being sincere about it too. Gary said that Kurt was up there about 7 months ago and he was talking about Robin back then. They didn't have time to get to him back then. Today he was totally digging Robin.
Benjy said that he never bought the Jim Florentine thing with Robin and he doesn't think it was as deep as they thought it was. He doesn't even think they slept together. He said he thinks that Kurt was very serious today though.
Jon said that it was kind of awkward but also funny. Artie came in and had some more verses for the poem that Kurt was reading today.
Benjy said that he thinks that Kurt is Jewish because he didn't say anything when Sheik yelled at him about being a Jew. Gary said that Benjy is obsessed with stuff like that with guests they have on the show and he used to come into his office years ago and tell him when he found out that guests were Jewish.
Fred came in to talk about this stuff too. Gary said that it was a very rare appearance with Fred. Fred said that he thinks that Kurt was very serious today and the poem was very well thought out and very well written. He said that it might have been a little bullshit for the air but he was also showing Robin that he was serious.
Fred said that Robin plays this game for the air and then she says she was just kidding about it later on. Gary said that Fred has spent some time with Robin and the young guy so he asked him if he thinks that was a goof. Fred said he really doesn't know. He said that he may have been a fresh breath of air for Robin after the stink with Jim Florentine.
Fred said that Robin took that Jim thing very seriously. She said that he was deep at one point and he never felt that way about Jim. He said that Jim is a nice guy and all but he's really not deep.
Gary said that it was embarrassing when Kurt was on his knee. Artie said that he was being funny and he knows the show so it came off okay.
Gary said that he can imagine hearing Robin talking about how real wrestling is. Artie said he can hear her saying that Kurt Angle is deep.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they know that Robin has gone out with Nick Manning. Fred said that they were never a couple though. Gary said that Robin would say that he's not all about the ''dropping loads'' thing. She does like the guy. Fred said they thought she liked Battlestar Galactica too but then she came out and said that she didn't.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Kurt was on the show with Eric the Midget that one time and Kurt was talking about Robin back then. Gary said that's the appearance he was talking about earlier.
Jon asked the guys if they think that Robin was intrigued by the transsexual discussion or the pain pill thing. Artie said that he clearly beat that but he'd be afraid of him getting hurt again.
The guys talked about Kurt's pain pill addiction and how any guy who does something like that for a living. Artie said that he got hit by Hulk Hogan over the weekend and it was supposed to be a fake hit but it wasn't that fake. Artie said he wasn't going to be a pussy about it though. He said that he was going to take it like a man.
Artie had to get going so he bolted and then Jon played some audio of some of Kurt's poem to Robin. After playing that Jon took a call from a woman who said that Kurt blew it when he didn't ask for Robin's number. She said that he's going to have to jump through hoops to get Robin to go out with him. Gary said he doesn't think that's the case.
Benjy said that Kurt could be a little bit shy and Robin could find that cute. The caller said that's not the case. Gary said that all women are different and Robin could like it. They don't know how she's actually going to react.
Gary said that he didn't see that poem coming today. He said the only thing douchier would be making a video tape. He was referring to his own video tape that he made to get a girl back many years ago.
Jon asked the guys if they think that Langford is in danger if the news team follows them going out. Fred said that some of those wrestler guys don't like to be pushed. Fred told Steve that he should wear a helmet and a neck brace if he's going to follow Robin and Kurt on a date.
Gary said that Sam Kinison once pushed Robin up against a wall and asked her why they had never gotten together. He said that he was joking around but it was kind of serious. Fred said that was more like a precursor to rape.
The guys talked about some of the other guys that Robin has had coming on to her on the show. They mentioned Penn Jillette and Clarence Clemens in that discussion. They also said that she went out with a news guy and a soap actor. Jon took a call from Mr. Jeff who thought that Jim Florentine was the most famous guy she had dated. They told him about the other guys she had dated and said that Jim wasn't the most famous.
Fred said that he thinks that Robin wants a guy who is more physical and manly than the Metrosexuals that are in the area.
Jon asked the guys what Robin's ''type'' is. The guys were throwing stuff out there like good looks and stuff but then they said she was into Steve-O. The guys didn't understand that attraction at all.
Fred said that you do forget just how great Fred is on the air. Gary said that Fred is great at picking out certain phrases. Fred did his impression of Fred talking about the shit on his leg thing.
Fred wondered what was in Fred's fanny pack. Benjy said he hopes there's a change of pants in there. Gary said he doesn't know of many people who wear them. One of the interns in the studio said she has one but she thought about bringing it back into style. She doesn't think it's hot when a guy wears one.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Gary thinks that Kurt ''gets the show.'' Gary said that he probably does understand the show. The caller was making fun of Gary talking about guests who ''get the show'' from yesterday. They had to go to break after that.
Jon asked JD how Robin handled that poem. JD said that she played it cool and didn't laugh too hard. He said that she might be interested in him but he's not sure how interested she would be in a full on relationship.
Jon asked JD if he thinks that she will go out with him. JD said that she might but he's not sure what Kurt is thinking trying to date someone in New York.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he went to high school with Kurt and he knows him pretty well. He said that he is one off the nicest and sincere guys he knows. He thinks that he's genuine about the Robin date thing.
The caller said that Kurt was always good at sports and anything that he did. He said that women do seem to fall for Kurt too and he's very genuine. He said that he's really not a Type A personality like they were saying earlier.
JD was talking about the way he used to have stepped sideburns when he was younger and Jon asked him to bring in pictures of he has any. JD said that he has seen some pictures of Jon that are pretty funny but Jon just moved on.
Jon asked the caller if he thinks that Kurt's past will have any effect on Robin. He has had some issues in his life. The caller siad that he thinsk that he's over the pain killer thing. He doesn't think he'll have that problem again.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that all you hear about Kurt is good stuff. He said that he agrees with the other caller about him being ''genuine.'' The caller said that he thinks that Robin and Kurt could have a good connection there.
Jon asked JD about some of the stuff that Robin has been doing on the show lately where she says she likes something and then changes her mind. They spent a few seconds on that but Jon quickly moved along.
Jon asked JD what he thinks about Elephant Boy and how he has moved on from doing the gay stuff. JD said he really doesn't know much about that. He said he has no gay thoughts or tendencies himself. He got distracted by someone taking a picture there at the studio so he had to stop for a moment. He said he gets distracted really easily.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he was afraid that Kurt was going to come after him for saying something about him earlier. The caller said that he thinks that Kurt will be better for Robin than Jim Florentine. He said that he'll be better because he's white. The guys told him that Jim is white too but the guy was busy cracking himself up with some jokes.
Another caller asked where the Elephant Boy name came from. Jon wasn't exactly sure where the name came from. Jim McClure said it came from the movie ''The Elephant Man'' because of the way he talked in that movie. Jim also said that he thinks that Elephant Boy smelled like 10 day old tuna. He said that it was worse than the smell of High Pitch Eric and Joey Boots shitting. Jim said he didn't smell him today but that's what happened when he was up there to do a show a while back.
The caller said that some of the wrestlers are known for wearing fanny packs so that might be why Elephant Boy wears them.
JD said that Sal and Richard are always trying to out do each other with the grossing out thing. Jon mentioned the Show in the Hallway thing that Howard shot today. JD said that they want him to do some more of those things and he will probably do it. He said he's not sure what's going on with that stuff yet but he's sure he'll do it.
Jon took a call from a guy who wanted to put to rest the Kryptonite thing. He said that Green Lantern can't make it. He said that Thor can. He said that Thor can use his hammer to make the Kryptonite. The caller said that Superman can vaporize the stuff if he needs to. He said that people forget about that power and that's the power he can use to get rid of that stuff. JD asked the caller if she still lives at home. The guy just laughed and kept going on and on about the Kryptonite thing. The caller said that he gets the show so he doesn't mind him doing that.
Elephant Boy called in and asked the guys how they were doing. JD started laughing hysterically when he heard him speak. Elephant Boy said something but it wasn't very clear. He was talking about going into the studio today and about how they asked him about High Pitch Mike.
JD was wondering if he had just said something about LTR (Long Time Relationship). Elephant boy said he did. He wasn't looking for anything like that. Elephant Boy said that he has gotten lonely in the past and that's why he did the gay thing. He said that he doesn't regret doing that stuff and he has to respect what he did.
Jon asked Elephant Boy if he had fun in the studio today. Elephant Boy said that he did but he didn't like that Kurt had to see him that way.
Elephant Boy forgot to plug something today on the show so he was calling in to get in that plug. Elephant Boy said that he will be in Long Branch, New Jersey on the 27th doing something.
Jon let Elephant Boy go a short time later. Jon said that they'd try to get the specific information later in the show since he wasn't very clear there.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that JD claims not to have any gay tendencies but he is a Cleveland Browns fan and they're fags. They went back and forth about that for a few seconds.
The caller was saying that he doesn't think that people are born gay. Jon lost all of the phones there for a second but luckily Ralph was on the line.
Ralph was on the line to talk about the Superman stuff some more. He was correcting some of the stuff that guy had said earlier about the super hero stuff.
Jon asked Ralph about the Kurt Angle stuff. Ralph said it sounded real to him. He said he didn't hear the whole interview though. He said that it sounded genuine on both ends to him.
Ralph said that Robin was getting flustered today and he knows what that's like because he's seen her like that before. Robin got all flustered by Harrison Ford when they went to see a movie that he was in one time. Ralph said that he heard that in her today.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to know why Lex Luthor doesn't just take some Kryptonite chips and shoot Superman with a shotgun. Ralph said that sounds like a good idea but Superman always finds a way to get out of it. Ralph said that if they killed him off they wouldn't have a comic book left.
Another caller said that Ralph is a douche bag and everyone hates him. Ralph said he doesn't think that's quite true. The guy didn't have anything else to say after that. Ralph said that the people he runs into on the street love him. He doesn't find that everyone hates him. JD thinks that about 95 percent of the fans hate Ralph.
JD said that a lot of them like Ralph around the office there. Ralph said that he likes most of them up there. He said that he used to dislike Sal but he kind of likes him. He's skeeved out by Richard but he loves Robin and Howard.
The guy who calls in every day with the Mets being gay comments was on the phone. He said that he heard that the Mets don't have lockers in the locker room, they just have closets. Ralph said he loves those calls.
Jon let Ralph go and took another call. The caller asked JD some questions about Fantasy Baseball and who he would pick if he had a choice. They spent a short time on that. JD and the caller were talking a little too much about the baseball thing so Jon moved on.
Another caller said that he thinks that Ralph should come out and admit that he's a homo. Jon said that Ralph claims he's not gay and you have to take the man at his word.
JD said that Will likes American Idol so he might be kind of geeky. JD said that he might be the geekiest guy on the show. Jon said he doesn't think that JD believes that he's really the geekiest. JD said that he is pretty socially awkward too. JD said that Jason is pretty awkward too. JD said that his is worse than Jason's.
A caller said that JD is kind of geeky but so is Jason and he's just a ''big, fat nerd.'' That made JD laugh. The caller said that JD just sits around watching gay porn all day. JD said that's his job. The caller said that JD's videos on Artie's web site are awful and he should think about using focus sometimes. Jon told the guy he was getting into dangerous territory there.
The caller said that JD is always hooting with that laugh of his in those videos and all you hear is that laugh instead of Artie talking. JD said that's because he's focusing on that stuff. Jon said he thinks that JD does a good job with that stuff. JD said that he thinks he does a fine job. Jon told the caller that he's wrong and JD does a good job.
Another caller said that he thinks that Robin is a nerd on the show too. He said that he thinks that Robin is one of the fakest people on the air and that's because she doesn't fit in anywhere. He said that she doesn't fit in so she's a nerd.
Benjy said that he thinks that she's find socially so he might be wrong about that. Benjy said that JD is a lovable nerd too.
Another caller said that Howard is the biggest geek on the show. He said that he watches all of those awful shows and plays chess and all of that. Then the caller said that JD is the geekiest on the show.
Another caller said that he wants JD to talk to Howard about getting him a Fantasy Baseball show on 101 for an hour. JD said that he would be the worst. The caller said he thinks that he'd be great.
The caller said that he thinks that there's no way that Kurt is going to be into Robin the way he said he was. Benjy asked him what his angle was then. The guy thinks that he was just playing into it for some attention on the show.
Ralph called in and said that there's a big difference between geeks and nerds. Ralph said that he and Jon are nerds but JD is a geek. Ralph said that some guys are into shows like Battlestar Galactica and stuff like that. Geeks can be very angry. Ralph said that Napoleon Dynamite would be a Geeky Nerd. He said that they can cross over like that. Ralph said Howard was a geek.
They ended up talking about the iPhone for a short time and also about the new Punisher movie. Ralph said that he went out and bought that movie for Howard. He said he picked it up at a book store so that might have made it a little more expensive than it should have been. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about how ragged out he is. He said he had a meeting about his apartment and the work he's having done on it. It was supposed to be done in September and he's just tired of what's going on. He said that it was a mistake to get the work done.
Howard said he likes the building but he did think about getting another one for a second. He said he's happy there though so he's going to stay. He said that he sees Regis every day so that's important to him. He said that they're friendly with each other.
Howard said he was reading something in the paper this morning and he wanted to talk to Beth about it but he's not sure she would talk about it. Howard said he needs some kind of chip built into his head so he could just call her when he thinks about it. Howard said he's still way into this phone thing and he's trying to figure out what to get.
Howard said he's having a meeting so he can see the Treo Pre in person before it comes out. He said they do have a prototype and it may be coming out in may so he might be able to wait for it. He said if it's going to be out next year then he won't wait.
Artie said that he asks his assistants what they want and they always want a Blackberry. Howard said he likes them but they don't have the fun that he's looking for. Howard said that the Blackberry is missing out on some stuff that the iPhones have. Howard said that the video podcasts are very valuable and he thinks that people like Robin could use that feature if she wanted. Howard said he knows that she'd use that.
Howard said that Robin and Artie could use the video podcasts for their jobs and for entertainment. Artie said that he just needs to know when his gigs are coming up.
Gary said he was watching some video on his Blackberry and you can do that stuff on those phones too. Howard said that he's going to be a phone expert when this is done. He's having meetings and looking at a lot of different phones.
Robin said that almost everyone she knows has a Blackberry and she thinks that they might be the right thing. Howard said that the Pre might be the right phone. He said that they just have to wait to find out. Gary asked why that was and Howard told him to just wait.
Howard said that if this Treo Pre isn't a really great phone then they're doomed. He said that the phone might be great for everyone on the show.
Howard said that he found out that the 3G means ''3rd generation'' and it doesn't have anything to do with memory. Gary said he knew that. Robin didn't.
Howard said that he's using a phone that he doesn't want to keep for too long and he's going to move to a Blackberry or the iPhone if this Pre doesn't work out.
Howard told the guys that if you can't get the podcasts on your phone then it's not worth having a phone. He said that Blackberry is being foolish about that.
Howard was wondering where the stock was at with SIRIUS lately. Gary said that it went from about 6 cents up to 30 this week and someone could have made a boatload of money on that.
Howard and the guys talked about some of the stuff Obama was talking about in that press conference. Gary told Howard that Howard should talk to Scott DePace because he thinks that none of the people from AIG should have given back their bonuses. Howard said that he's wrong about that. Howard said that he understands the argument but when the tax payers are bailing out the company because it was run into the ground then they shouldn't be taking a hand out.
Scott said that they had contracts so that's why they were paid. Howard said that the rules change when the government bails you out though. He said that they shouldn't have been given bonuses because without that bail out, they would have been out of business.
Scott said that he's not happy that they got the bonuses but he understands why they did. Artie thinks that a judge would have given them nothing in a bankruptcy thing. Gary said that Scott was thinking that they should have just let them go out of business and shouldn't have bailed them out. Howard said that would be a little drastic. He said that the customers of AIG would have been screwed if that had happened.
Howard said that they can't afford for any of these big banks to go out of business. Scott asked him about the car companies. Howard said that they're working on antiquated business models and they have to do something about that too.
Howard said he's been in contracts where he doesn't see money and has tried to sue and he still gets nothing. He thanked Scott for coming in and let him go. Artie said that he agrees with Scott to a certain extent but he doesn't think that they should be taking those bonuses.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he works for GM and at least they make a product unlike AIG that just manipulates your money. Howard agreed with him on that too.
Another caller said that the Ford executives took pay cuts and they're not taking any bail out money from the government.
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Howard thanked that guy for the call and let him go. He went on to talk about his dog Bianca and how she doesn't know where to sleep with the construction going on now. He said that she keeps them up at night now because of that. They have to figure that out so they can sleep.
Robin said that she heard about Beth going out and meeting people all the time and being very nice about it. Howard said that he told her that she has to be a prick sometimes and stop being so nice. Howard said he's always the bad guy though. Robin said that she's just talking about the people on the street and how nice she is to those.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he would watch an Octomom reality show. Howard said he wouldn't watch anything she'd be on. He said he's already avoided her interviews and he has no desire to see her in anything.
Howard said that there are a lot of people out there who are famous just for being famous. He said that he saw Nicole Richie in the paper and he's not sure what she ever did to become famous. Artie said that she's famous for being Lionel Richie's daughter. Howard said that's not a good enough reason. He said that no one is even interested in seeing Lionel in the paper. Howard said that Nicole is famous for being friends with Paris Hilton and she's famous for no reason as well. Artie said that her family is famous so that's why she's famous. Howard said that they're really not famous.
Artie ended up yelling at Robin to shut the fuck up because she was asking him why he was arguing about this stuff. Artie said that this is America and he can argue and she should just shut the fuck up.
Howard said that most people who became famous in the past were famous for having some kind of talent. Howard said that this famous for being famous thing has never existed before. Artie was still arguing about that and Howard wasn't sure why he was doing that.
The caller asked Howard what it's like when he sits down to watch TV on the weekends. Howard said that he gets very serious and he asks for peace and quiet while it's on.
Howard said he watched the movie ''Visitor'' and it was really good. He said it's worth renting. Howard said he's very busy with TV. He didn't like Battlestar Galactica's final episode. He still watches Smallville.
The caller asked if the dog is up on the couch with him. Howard said that the dog isn't allowed on the furniture at all. He said that he made rules about that and the dog isn't allowed to jump on that stuff. He said she has beds all over the apartment that she can lay in and that's where she belongs.
Howard said that Gary was telling him that his dog sleeps in the bed with him. Howard said he doesn't know how they can be intimate when they have a dog in bed with them. Artie said that Dana's dog was like that and he thinks that he was in a three way with the dog at one point.
Gary said that the dog is like a third child to his wife so she lets him in there. Gary said the dog gets in bed and goes to the foot of the bed. Then he goes to the top of the bed and goes underneath the comforter. He said that for the entire night he gets out of the comforter and then gets back in. He said it goes on like 7 times a night.
Howard asked why he allows that. He told him he has to be an organized person and not allow that. He said that you have to say no. He said that it's either yes or no with a dog and you have to tell him no when it tries to do that. Howard said that he would never allow a dog on furniture. He's not going to fight a dog for a seat. Gary said that's exactly what he has to do.
Howard said that there are a lot of women out there who don't bother trying to train their dogs and he's never seen a generation of people who are so lazy.
Gary said that they also have two cats and they have to close the doors to the rooms because they're up all night. He said they were having the two cats and the dog in the bed at the same time. He had to start closing doors to stop that from happening.
Howard told Gary that he has to stop with the dog and just keep it off the bed. Gary said that he has the ability to get rid of the dog. He said that when he wants to bang his wife he has to put the dog on a blanket off the bed but it eventually comes back into bed.
Howard said that he wants to have spontaneous sex with Beth so there's no way he's going to let the dog get into bed. Gary said that the dog isn't slowing that down in his life. Howard said that he wouldn't even start up with sex with the dog in bed.
Howard told Gary to be prepared to not have a comfortable seat if he's going to let the dog sit on the furniture. Gary said that he just has to sit on the dog's head and it moves.
The caller asked if Howard talks to his dogs in a baby voice. Howard said that they need that baby talk. He said that you have to be the leader and talk to them in a way that they will understand. He said that you have to speak to them in a positive manner and that's the way you have to talk to them. He said that he doesn't enjoy that but that's the positive reinforcement.
Howard said that you have to give the dogs a firm ''No!'' when you're trying to get them to stop doing something. Howard said that you can't just give them a lame ''no'' when they do something wrong. He gave some examples of that and his ''No!'' sounded like a bark. He said that's the way it has to be so they pay attention. Howard said that it keeps his dog off the couch when he does that.
Howard said that he doesn't hit his dog, he just has to give her a firm ''No!'' and she knows. Scott DePace came in so Howard talked to him like he was a dog. Howard said that he treats the staff just like he does with his dog.
Scott said he has a 6 month old yellow lab and the dog will get up on the table and eat their food. He said that he's smacked the shit out of her. Artie told him to burn her with a cigarette. Howard said that hitting them is just cruel. Scott said it's not cruel. Howard said he was going to hit him on the head and see how he likes it.
Howard told Scott that he has to punish the dog and he should take a rope and put her in a room where she can see the family moving around. He said that you have to keep her in the room and isolate her so she knows she did something wrong. Scott said that he's tried that. He said he's put her in a crate. Howard said it can't be a crate. He said they have to tie her up outside of the kitchen in the house so she can see them.
Howard said that in 5 minutes time you go over to her and say ''NO!'' in that barking way. He said that she will stop doing that stuff once you do that.
Howard told Scott he can't be hitting the dog. That doesn't work. Scott said that the dog knows that she's doing something wrong. He said he can see it on her face. Scott said that his wife has this water bottle that she squirts at her too. Howard said that's a pussy move and it doesn't work.
Howard asked Scott to do the ''No!'' thing with the bark sound in there. He said that you have to be consistent and bark it out. Artie said that Scott shares pizza with his dog. Scott said that he loves his dog. He said that he never gives it table scraps.
Howard said that you can't give the dog table scraps. He said that you never give them food like that. Howard said that if some shit stain comes to dinner and does that then you kick the shit out of them instead. Howard said that his wife feeds Bianca table scraps. Howard said that he told Beth that he didn't want a beggar of a dog but Beth made her one. Howard said that he ends up giving her table scraps too because Beth made that decision to start doing that. He said he doesn't believe in it and she would never be a beggar if it was up to him.
Scott said that they gave his old dog, Duke, table scraps and that may have shortened his life. Scott went on to say that the dog has been barking at him in the morning at like 4 in the morning. Howard told him to bark at her and make her stop.
Howard said that the people he doesn't like are the ones who get dogs and don't show any love toward them. He said that Artie is smart because he doesn't love dogs and he knows it. He knows that the dogs need love and he doesn't have time for that. Artie knows what he wants and that's heroin.
The caller that was on the line asked for them to bring Steve Grillo back to the show. He said he loved when he did the movie reviews in the past. Howard said that maybe they'll get back to that.
The caller was going to go and did a line from the Godfather. That led to him doing another movie line and Artie knew what it was.
Howard said that he's looking forward to this ''Punisher 2'' movie that he's going to be watching this weekend. He said he didn't like the first one but he heard that the second one was great. Robin said that they changed the guy in the movie and it was good.
Howard ended up playing Steve Grillo's movie review of Artie's movie ''Beer League.'' Howard only played a few seconds of it before saying ''... you get the idea?''
Robin said that her favorite day of the Wrap Up Show is Tuesday when Jon is stuck in there with JD during their weekly meetings.
Howard said that Elephant Boy called into the Wrap Up Show yesterday because he had forgotten to give his plug. No one understood what he was saying tough. He played that clip where Elephant Boy gave his plug and said it in a way that no one understood. Robin was laughing when she heard that. Howard said that it sounded like Elephant Boy was just saying ''ching chong, ching chong.''
Howard played some clips of Jon talking to JD about who the biggest geek on the show was. JD was saying that it was probably him. Howard made fun of JD about that stuff a little bit and then moved on to some Riley Martin show clips.
Howard played some of Riley Martin getting pissed off on his show. Riley was saying that he knows they did a great show on Friday night and no one called him back about that. Riley said that it would have been nice if they had called him back about it. Riley called them all names but then said that was fine. Howard said that someone has to explain to him that he's just another ''high pitch'' since Riley was saying that he wasn't.
Riley was saying that they're all ''narcissistic, bottom feeding, urchins'' but that's okay. Howard said that he's going to have to talk to E-Ron because he cuts through all of that stuff and stops Riley for going on and on.
Howard played another clip where a caller brought up the 4 hour show and how they didn't even mention it on the air. Howard said he was embarrassed by that show and he was asking Tim why he gave him a 4 hour show. He told Tim to get back on regular food when that happened. The caller told Riley that he should force the issue on the show and call in and get them to talk about it.
Howard said that he ignores Riley when he calls in sometimes. He just doesn't feel like getting into it with him.
Howard let the Riley clips play some more and listened to Riley's usual rants about not being paid very well. The caller he had on the line was getting him more and more riled up talking about how poorly Riley is being treated. Howard said that Riley gets like 9,000 calls an hour and that's crazy for a satellite radio show. They're all just there to rile up Riley though.
JD told Howard that he had a clip of a guy telling Riley that when he calls the Stern Show and mentions Riley's name, they hang up on him. That got Riley all worked up too. Riley said that his name is persona non grata over there and that doesn't surprise him at all.
Howard confirmed Riley's thoughts that they're not thinking about him there. He said that they have much more to worry about other than his show.
Riley was saying that this is the kind of thing he has to deal with there. Riley said that he will have to figure out a way to stay on the air that doesn't involve this radio. He said he might have to go somewhere else come November.
Howard said that in Riley's world they would be calling him every couple of days and promoting his show all the time. He said that he'd also like to be making millions working there.
Howard said that Tim just has to tell Riley they have no money for him and tell him that he has to do it for free.
Howard played some more of the Riley show and a caller was telling Riley that Robin is very selfish buying $800 bottles of wine and it seems that she's trying to keep Riley down. Riley says that Robin's bread and butter is sucking up to Howard. He said that any way the wind blows with him is the way Robin is going to go. They had to go to the break after that.
Howard came back and said that everyone was telling him that Tim's breath was really bad. He said he's not eating so his breath is really bad. Artie said that he's looking really good and he caught a whiff of his breath and almost fell over.
Artie told him that he might need to light a bon fire there. Artie told him that he needs to do something about that because he is a businessman.
Howard asked Tim if he brushed his teeth this morning. Tim said of course he did. Howard asked Tim why he can't smell it when he cups his hand over his mouth. Tim just wasn't able to smell it. Howard said that he knows people who have the worst breath and they complain about other people having really bad breath.
Robin said that Elephant Boy might not be able to smell himself and that might be why he smells so bad. Howard asked Tim if he's able to fit in old clothes. Tim said he's fitting in some of the old stuff but he still has to lose about another 50 pounds.
Howard asked Gary if he smelled Tim's breath. Gary said he didn't but he was holding his nose to make sure he didn't.
Gary said that he heard a story about Richard peeing in his pants accidentally and he didn't go home to change. Howard said he doesn't know people who pee on themselves so much and just don't do anything about it. Artie said that this is gross and it's not funny anymore.
Richard came in and said that he didn't do it on purpose. He said that Sal made him laugh so hard that he peed a little. He said that he didn't do it on purpose and he just pissed. Richard said it was a call to the Tradio show that made him laugh so hard. Howard told him that they might want to stop calling that Tradio show. He said that they might be doing too much of that.
Howard found it hard to believe that he laughed so hard that he pissed his pants. Richard said that it was the way Sal said his name as ''Harry Bigcock'' when he called in. Howard said that he had another Tradio show clip to play. Richard said that he would put that other one up on the system too.
Howard asked Richard how he can walk around with piss in his pants. Richard said it was late in the afternoon and he was only there for another hour and a half.
Howard asked him if he's embarrassed by that. Richard said there's not much that embarrasses him. Robin said it's going to become a health issue.
Howard played the latest Tradio calls that Richard and Sal made. This time Sal called in and said he had some stuff from his pantry to sell and read through a list of disgusting stuff before they hung up on him. Another guy called in to sell his truck. Then Richard called in and had his radio turned up loud so it was feeding back. The host asked him to turn it down but he didn't do it.
Sal called in again and said that Satan was out again. Sal then said that he had some stuffed animals and rattled off a bunch of racial terms for the stuff he was selling. Richard called back in and tried to sell some bingo cards, chips and balls. Then he tried to give his number but got it all confused with the number when Sal was giving it to him.
Richard told Howard that the Harry Bigcock call was up. Howard played that one where they call into this ''Dannywagon'' show. Sal had called in and threw Jon Hein's name out there and talked about how he was the king of blow jobs. Then Richard called in with something and then Sal got through with the Harry Bigcock thing. It wasn't piss your pants funny. Artie was faking his laugh and said that he shit and pissed in his pants. They had Tracey Millman call in and say that she was upset with those people wasting their time like that. Then Sal told her to get off the phone and cursed her out. Sal and Richard continued to call in with that stuff and the host said that she didn't want to have to call the cops on them. Howard told Richard that he sees why he pissed his pants with that.
Howard played Lou talking to Amy in the sex tape and telling her that he wanted to see her ass. He says things in a bit of a creepy way. Howard said that the girls have two minutes on the Sybian and maybe they should work with Lou so they can make it sound like this sex tape.
Howard said that everyone was there and they had to get to the game. He said he hopes that Lou doesn't clam up during the game. He asked the guys if they were ready to go. Gary said that they were ready to go and Lou was cracking up in the green room. Gary said that Lou understands what he has to do and he's ready to go. Gary said Lou knows exactly what they're looking for.
Gary said that Lou thought that they had a picture of Joey Buttafuoco hanging up in the green room. Gary said that was a picture of Artie. Howard said he had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and had Lou Bellera come in. Howard said that Lou is the star of the Amy Fisher sex video. Howard said that they have this contest today and they couldn't think of anyone better to talk the girls through their Sybian rides. Howard said he hopes that Lou comes through and really talks dirty to the girls.
Lou came in and Howard said it looks like he's lost weight. Lou didn't think he had. He said he was out there laughing his ass off out in the green room. He said that he's not sure who that was in those clips.
Howard said that they have a $5,000 prize coming from Clips4Sale.com for this competition today. Lou asked if he gets any of that money. Howard said that he doesn't. Lou said that all he got was a bagel and coffee then.
Howard asked Lou what Amy is up to now. He said that she's out on some kind of tour. Howard asked if the sex tapes made them any money. Lou said that Amy has her own web site right now and he's not sure what's going on with the sex tape thing.
Howard got in some plugs for the Clips4Sale.com web site and then moved on to the game. He told Lou what they were going to be doing and said that Lou is going to talk the girls through their rides on the Sybian. Howard said that the girls have to come hard for him on that thing. They will be judged on their ride.
Howard played some of Lou's sex tape clips and Lou was just laughing. He said that they were a riot. Lou wondered if he really said that stuff. Howard said of course it was him.
Howard told Lou that he was doing all of the hard work and Amy was just making that sucking sound with her mouth. Lou said that it's hard to stay hard with a camera there in the room. Howard wondered why it was so hard to have sex on camera if there was no cameraman there. Lou said that it wasn't real sex and he wasn't into doing that kind of thing.
Howard asked Lou about what kind of work he did before. Lou said that he used to videotape events like weddings and stuff after he was a police officer. Lou said that he had a good time on the police force and had some interesting stuff happen in that job. He said that they went to a murder scene one time and ended up finding the guy who did the killing and they locked the guy up.
Howard played some more of Lou's clips where he was talking to Amy about examining her pussy. Howard told Lou that's the guy they need today.
Howard had the guys bring in the first contestant who was Gianna. Howard said that she thinks she can give the best Sybian ride today. Howard asked her some questions and told her that she was going to be trying to give them the best Sybian ride. She needs the money for school, a car and breast implants. She's 20 years old. Lou said that's a perfect age for Daddy. He said he can't let Howard down with this today.
Howard told Gianna that she was going to be taking instructions from Lou today and she had to listen to what he was telling her. She said she was ready for that. Howard told her that they were all going to be voting on her ride today.
Howard had Gianna go over and get on the Sybian. She was laughing as soon as Lou started talking to her. Lou was going to touch her but Howard told him not to do that. Lou was telling her what to do and Gianna was laughing and saying ''hey now'' and not really turning anyone on. She eventually got into it and did her best to turn the guys on.
Howard said he's surprised that Gianna didn't talk to Lou that much. He told her that she did a great Sybian ride and she seemed to be into it. Gianna said that she had never experienced that before and she guesses that's what she needs.
Howard got in some more plugs for Clips4Sale.com and asked Artie what he thought of that. Artie said she did have a great ride but she didn't interact with Lou that much.
Lou asked where they get the replacement parts for that Sybian. Howard said they get them right from the people who make it.
Howard had the second contestant come in. Her name was Crystal. She used to be addicted to heroin for about 10 years. She just cleaned up and said that she's on Suboxin like Artie is. Howard said that she wants to give her money to her husband. She said that her husband has helped her out through this addiction thing.
Howard gave Crystal some advice on how to handle the Sybian ride today. Lou heard some heavy breathing and wondered where that was coming from. It was actually him. Lou didn't think it was him but it really was.
Howard had Crystal get on the Sybian and do her thing. She and Lou acted out a scene and he spanked her a bit. He told her to get on that thing and told her how to rub on the machine so he could see her clit. He asked her to play with her nipples and stuff like that. She was doing her thing and trying to give her best Sybian ride. She was telling Lou to stick his cock down her throat and things like that. He wasn't actually doing that though.
Howard said that was a good performance. She ran out of time. Crystal said that her knees were shaking more from that than anything. The guys thought that she did a good job and Artie liked her telling Lou to shove that cock down her throat.
Next up was Sarah. Howard asked her a few questions and found out where she was from. Lou was still breathing heavy so Howard pointed that out. She told Howard that she's single after breaking up with a guy who she went out with for about 8 years. She wanted to come on this show to get a Playboy evaluation but she's doing this instead.
Howard asked Lou if he was ready to work with Sarah. He was ready to go. Howard asked him what kind of scenario they wanted to do. Sarah was up for anything. They ended up having her as the babysitter who wasn't doing a good job.
Lou and Sarah did their thing and Lou was telling her to make sure she came for him on that Sybian. He asked to see her tits and talked about her ass and things like that. He talked to her through the whole thing and she eventually came before her time was up. She popped up off of the Sybian and said that she needs one of those at home.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's sick to his stomach listening to this. He said that he's going to tie his daughter up in the basement so she can never do anything like this. Another guy said that Lou was the creepiest sounding mother fucker he's ever heard. Lou told him to come down there and tell him that to his face.
Another caller said that they have to cut Lou out of the replay. Lou asked where they get these hayseeds from. He told him to have some real men call in.
Irish John called in and said that Lou is a real fuckin' creep. Lou asked why he has so many fags calling in to talk about him and not about the girls. Irish went off on Lou and Lou came right back at him calling him a fag. He told him to come down there. John said that he'd come down there.
Howard had to let John go and said it was time to judge. He took another call from a guy who said that Lou sounds like Denzel Washington. Another guy said that Lou is the man. Lou said he finally got one fan.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she wasn't even going to say anything and justify what he was doing. Lou was making fun of her voice and didn't let her get a word in. Howard let her go and took a couple more. There were a couple who did like Lou. One guy asked him to finish him off. Lou said that he'd finish him off with his gun or his night stick.
One guy said that Lou sounded a little bit like Ronnie. Another guy said that Lou is creepy and sounds like a pedophile. Howard said that they can't forget about the girls.
Howard said that Gianna, Crystal and Sarah all did very well. He asked Lou who he thinks should get the $5,000. Lou picked Sarah as his favorite. He said that there was something hot and sexy about her.
Howard said that he was going to vote for Crystal. He said that she had a dialog going with Lou and he liked that.
Gary was up next and said that he was going to have to give Gianna his vote. He said that Gianna was good and she had a great ride when she got on it. Fred was up next and said that he was going to give his vote to Crystal. Howard asked Artie who he was going to pick. Artie said that he had to give his vote to crystal as well.
Howard said that Crystal had 3 votes so far. He asked Robin who her vote was for. Robin said that Crystal had already won but Howard said that Benjy was going to vote too. Robin said that she was torn. She liked Gianna's ride and she was able to perform. Robin gave her a vote. She had 2 votes at that point.
Benjy was up next and said that he thought Gianna didn't embrace the Lou part. He said that he had to give Crystal his vote. Howard said that she was the winner then. He said that she just won $5,000 courtesy of Clips4Sale.com. Gary went off to see if he had any other prizes for the other two girls.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who had some Wood Yi audio clips to play. They had him asking Lou if he could suck his cock. Lou said that he didn't want to do that. He wondered if that was Artie in the back doing some voice or something.
Howard said that Gianna was in tears. She said that she was upset that she came on and did this today. Howard asked her why she was upset. She was upset she didn't win after doing what she did on there. Howard said that she might need Daddy for real. Howard said that only one person can win and she didn't quite make it.
Gary said that they had $500 for each of the other two girls. Gianna's tears went away quickly when she heard that. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that was pretty wild with Lou doing his thing. He said he had never seen anything like that. Howard said he's an artist of some sort with that stuff.
Howard said that there was this woman who won ''Last Comic Standing'' which he never watches. He said that he tried watching the first season but he never got caught up in it.
Howard said that the woman who won is Iliza Shlesinger. Howard asked Artie if he had ever heard of her. Artie hadn't. He didn't know who she was when she came in. Iliza said that she had been doing comedy for about 4 years but wasn't really out on the road.
Howard asked Iliza what she was doing before that. She said she was an assistant for this dude and she was doing some copy writing. She said that she did a lot of sleeping in the office because she really had nothing to do.
Iliza said that her boss used to buy prescription drugs online with her credit card and she still gets e-mail from companies asking her if she wants that stuff.
Howard asked Iliza how she got into the business. She said she was always interested in it but she moved out to Los Angeles and got into it after she went to college in Boston. She said that she was writing jokes for people and then she got on Last Comic Standing and it was like Boom. She said that this season was the last season. She said that she was the final winner in the 6 seasons.
Howard asked Iliza if they burn out their material on the show doing it. She said that she only does 3 minute segments so she didn't use it all up on the show. Iliza said that she was the only girl left on the show and she beat out all of the other guys.
Howard asked Iliza if she felt like a shithead being on the show doing the stuff they had her doing. She didn't feel that way about it at all. Iliza said that she gets to go out on tour with the other four guys she beat and they may hate her. She said that they didn't really talk to her on the road when they were out on tour and that's worse than them bad mouthing her. Iliza said that they went through whole days when no one would talk to her at all.
Howard said that someone must have fallen in love with her back stage. She said that no one really hits on her at all. She said that just doesn't happen. She doesn't have a boyfriend right now. Howard asked if she's into girls. She said that she doesn't even hug her girlfriends. Her best friend is a lesbian and that's kind of weird for her. She said that they grew up together and she doesn't even want to see her naked.
Howard asked Iliza about doing the Last Comic Standing thing. She said that she won $250,000 and the comedians hated her when she went out on the road. She said that she did get to see the country though and that was great. Howard said he can't imagine going out on the road for 6 months like that. Iliza said that she would go back to her hotel room and cry into a big pile of money.
Iliza said that she put the money in the bank. Artie asked her what kind of money she was getting going out on the tour. She said it's a couple thousand.
Iliza said that it was shocking the number of fans that came out to see them after she was on the show. She said that the gigs were great because they got driven around and that's not what the real road gigs are like.
Iliza said that one time on her birthday she worked up the courage to ask a guy to dance and the guy turned her down. Howard said that it has to be hard to date someone like Iliza because she has to be pretty bright to be doing stand-up. He said that he'd be afraid that she'd be working on material the whole time they were in bed together and stuff like that. Howard said that he can understand why guys would be afraid to date her.
Artie said he'd have no problem dating her unless she got a bigger career than him. Iliza said that she dated a comedian for about a year. She said that it was Brett Ernst. He was in Artie's movie ''Beer League.'' She said that they're still friends. She didn't want to talk about what went wrong. She said that she didn't want to get into that.
Artie said that he tells people that comics are such assholes. He said he tells people that all the time. Artie said that it's the people that are rooting for you to fail that you have to deal with. He said those are the people that are out there doing stand-up. Artie said that he thinks that Iliza is going to go somewhere with her career because she's hot. He asked who else won that show and where they are now. They knew Ralphie May and ''the Asian guy'' but no one knew who else had won.
Artie said that back in 1995 he was out doing MAD TV and he ended up killing in the main room at the Comedy store. He tried to get in to see Pauly Shore's mother but she refused to see him. Pauly told him that he was ''almost ready for the store'' and he wanted to punch him.
Howard asked Iliza about working for a strip club. She said that she was unable to find a job so she ended up working for about 3 days checking people's coats and never got paid for it. She said that she learned how strippers can make their ass cheeks clap though. She said that she never did any stripping. She said that she had to get out of there and pack for college a few weeks later.
Howard asked Iliza about why she hates the term ''doggy style.'' She said that it's better to call it horsie style or something because it's not just dogs that do it. She said that all animals do it that way and humans are the only ones who are looking at each other in the face.
Iliza said that it's weird when guys have mirrors up and you have to see yourself in the mirror having sex. She said that no matter what your tits are going to look like udders when you're in that position.
Artie asked Iliza if she likes reality TV. She said she does and asked Howard what he likes. Howard told her about some of the reality shows he watches like American Idol, Celebrity Rehab and Sober House. Iliza said that she loves ''Rock of Love.'' She said she likes to see people at rock bottom. She said that she loves the Real Housewives show too.
Howard asked Iliza what they can expect from her. She said that she's going to do bigger and better shows. She said that she does her own talk show on TheStream.tv. She said that she's hoping to do bigger and better stuff too.
Howard gave her some plugs for the shows she's doing at Comix this week in New York City. You can also check out Iliza.com. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that there was a disgusting picture of Michael Jackson in the paper. He said that he had his kid's head covered in a plastic bag-looking thing. He said that it's so disturbing what that guy is doing to those kids. Howard said that Michael doesn't have a bag over his head. Howard said there are plenty of stars out there who let their kids get photographed and Jackson sure isn't the biggest star out there anymore.
Artie asked if he did anything to keep his kids out of the public eye. Howard said that the paparazzi weren't hanging out on Long Island and they had pretty normal lives. He said that they would get their picture taken out at events once in a while and that's no big deal. He said he just saw pictures of he and his daughter out running the other day. He takes them out in public and it happens. He wouldn't put a bag over their heads.
Howard said that Gange is the worst on the air and he spent two hours doing this interview with the Miss Howard TV of the year. Howard said that it's the worst job he's ever heard.
Howard played some of the interview that Gange did and he knows that the only reason he's doing it is because he wants to get close to the Howard TV girls. It was a live video chat they did over at the Howard TV web site. Howard pointed out all of the ''Uhh'' comments that Gange was making.
Robin said that Gange hasn't changed his questions because he was asking Miss Howard TV ''So how did it go'' just like he did back when he was asking guests how it went out in the hallways.
Howard said that Gange is even more articulate than ever. He played more of the interview and he was saying ''Uh... ummm'' a lot. Howard and the guys were all laughing at the way he was conducting the interview.
Howard said the interview was very deadly. Artie agreed that it was very boring. Howard played more of the interview and goofed on Gange's interviewing style. All of the guys were getting in on that. Fred was doing his impression of Gange and making up goofy lines that he could ask Miss Howard TV.
Howard said he heard that Tim is going to give Gange a 4 hour show when Ferrall is on vacation again. He said that Gange is apparently on vacation and he has posted something on his Facebook page that's funny. Howard said it says ''Mike Gange is off to Puerto Rico... Finally.'' Howard said that he must be exhausted from interviewing girls. Howard said that he's probably making friends with all of the girls down there.
Howard said he heard that Gange had a big melt down the other day. He apparently showed up late to the Howard TV meeting and the pizza was already gone.
Gary said that he likes this certain type of pizza and he ended up screaming and yelling because they didn't get the right kind. Gary said that the kid who got the food had to go out and get Gange's food before he could eat.
Howard asked if Gange is in charge over there. Gary said that he's apparently second in line below Doug Goodstein. Richie Wilson said that the pizza thing was funny. He said that he showed up late and they had already eaten the pizza so he freaked out and said that they had better get a pizza up there for him within 15 minutes.
Doug came in and said that you can't argue with an angry fat man. Ralph called in and said that Gange was on the Wrap Up Show talking about doing that interview and he was saying that he didn't want to bother anyone else to do the interview. He said that Gange was making it seem like it was some kind of bit now and that's why he was still doing it.
Howard said that Lou really seemed to shake up that one girl who was crying. He said that she was okay after the game was over. He said he spoke to her during the break and she was okay.
Howard said he was thinking about Lou and how brave he is to lay in bed with Amy Fisher every night. Artie said that chick is nuts. Artie said ''when you think about what she did... holy shit.''
Howard asked Robin what happened with Kurt Angle. Robin said that he texted her and she told him that he was great on the show. She said that she wants to stay in touch and he wrote back saying that he really does want to go out to dinner with her. Robin turned him down. Robin said that for personal reasons she didn't want to go. Howard wondered what the personal reasons were. Robin said that they're personal, he's not supposed to know. Howard figured that she was seeing someone else. Robin wasn't answering him on that.
Robin said she loved hearing the guys on the Wrap Up Show talking about what a great actress she is. Fred said that there were a lot of women who thought that Robin should just bang him. He said he got a lot of mail about that. Robin said that the people on the Wrap Up Show were saying good things about him too. She's just not open to being asked out right now.
Robin said that she's unable to accept offers from anyone on the show. Howard asked if she's just saying that to throw off the news team. Robin said that's not what it's about at all. Howard said he can't believe she threw away that offer like that.
Robin said that it's personal. Howard said that Robin said that she would tell him personal stuff off the air but he warned her not to tell him.
Howard said that if he heard personal stuff off the air he wouldn't remember that it was supposed to be personal and he'd accidentally say it on the air. He said he's done that to a few people. Artie said that he knows what that's like because Howard has done that to him.
Howard said that he doesn't want to know if Robin is dating someone like Tim Sabean. He said that Tim is a married man and he wouldn't want to ruin that.
Steve said that Greg Fitzsimmons had Laura Keitlinger on his show on Monday night and she was ripping Norm MacDonald apart on that show. They also have a story about Tom Green going off on the FOX News channel.
They also have a new Howard 100 News tip line that's easier to remember. That's 877-H100-TIP for anyone who needs to send them information about the show.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down his list of subjects for today's show. They ended up talking about Robin's flip flopping on the show lately. Jon was saying that Robin sounded like she wanted to go out with Kurt yesterday but today she was saying she had no interest. He said that it's confusing with her.
Ralph called in and said that she was giddy yesterday and gave out her number so someone must have talked her down after the show. He said that she must be in some relationship or something now. Ralph asked why she jumps from boyfriend to boyfriend. Robin said that she never said that she was going to have an inappropriate relationship like Ralph was saying.
Ralph said that he can tell that she's falling in love again. He can hear it in her voice. Howard told Robin that she's a man killer and asked why she gave him her number and text. Robin said she didn't want to reject him on the air. Artie said he gets that. He said that she just didn't want to do that on the air.
Robin said that it made for a good on-air thing. Howard said she could have turned him down on the air and it would have been fine. They spent a couple more minutes on that before getting to Robin's news.
Howard said that he has made contact with Flo or Mark from The Turtles. He said he found out that he's doing okay. They were reminiscing about working together. Artie said that he remembers the show that opened up the Turtles show that they did at K-Rock. They had the Ninja Turtles theme song open up their first show.
Howard said that he had Lou Bellera on the phone. Lou said that he had a big fan of his there with him. He said that he heard the conversation about him being with Amy. Howard said that he was just saying that Amy was capable of killing and he wondered how he sleeps with her. Lou said that she's nothing like she was when she was younger. He said that she is tied to that incident and you can't deny it took place. He said that it's not in the back of his head or anything and they've been together for 9 years now and she's really not like that now. Lou said that she's very easy going and shy now.
Howard said that he has to see that it could cross their minds. Lou said he gets that but she really has changed. Lou said that she pulled herself up by the bootstraps and she's done fine since she got out of prison. He said that you can turn your life around and be a positive person. Lou said that you don't have to have people going back in your past all the time and she's like a role model since that incident.
Howard let Lou go and Artie said that he has fucked up in his life too and he gets what he's saying. He said it is hard to think about her victims though.
Fred found some Flo and Eddie songs and played some of that stuff since Howard had asked him to find it earlier.
Robin started off her news with a story about a guy who had to call 911 when his wife handcuffed him to the a bed. Howard said that the guy wasn't able to get away from her so he had to call 911. He was afraid to fight back because he was afraid that he'd be accused of attacking her. Howard played the 911 call where the guy was saying that he was handcuffed to her and he needed the cops there. The guy was screaming as she was biting him. The guy was going nuts as she was doing it and he wasn't doing anything to fight back. He said that she was biting his arm.
Howard said that the woman looks Chinese or something. Robin said that she does look Asian. They listened to more of the 911 call that went on for a few minutes. Howard said that he can imagine the guy flashing back to years ago when he met her and fell in love with her.
Gary came in and asked if that guy has the right to punch that woman in the face. Howard said that he could but then he'd probably be arrested for hitting her. Howard said that he has to stand there and take it all so the cops can see that he didn't do anything to her.
Howard said that from what he heard the guy had gone back to visit his ex-wife and she ended up locking him in the room. Robin said she read that she locked him in the room and then he fell asleep and then she came in and handcuffed him and started biting him.
Howard said that any court is going to say that if he did hit her, he's the aggressive one. He said that a man can never defend himself in a situation like that. The guy will somehow get blamed for it even if she's holding a gun on him. No court is going to believe the guy.
Robin moved on to another story about a new app for the iPhone called the Sit or Squat app. She said that you can find out the conditions of public toilets around you. Howard said it's amazing what they can do with those apps now. He said that there's even one farting app that lets you set a timer to make it sound like someone is farting.
Artie said that his friend Jimmy Palumbo always has to shit. He said that he knows the best places to shit at so he used to call him and ask where to go shit. Jimmy would always have a place to go. Artie said they need a Jimmy Palumbo app.
Howard said there's one app that will tell you where all of the good restaurants are and where the subway stops are and things like that. He said it really is amazing to him. Artie asked if he can come to his house to shit. Howard said no way and that he doesn't even want to shit in his own home.
Robin said that there is a new virus that could cripple up to 12 million computers next Wednesday. Howard said that he was on iTunes looking for some podcasts and he wasn't able to play any of them. Robin said she was trying to stream a tennis match and her computer wouldn't do that either.
Robin said that this new virus is going to hit next Wednesday and the 12 million computers could be sending out more viruses or doing other things like that. Howard said they have to stop naming these viruses because it gives the hacker credit and a way to brag about it. Robin said that this one is called the Conficker worm.
Robin read a story about a guy who lost his job on Ash Wednesday when he told people with ashes to get that ''fucking shit'' off their face.
Howard took a call from a guy who complained that SIRIUS has been shutting off their internet feed between 9 and 11 every day for the past week or so. He said that he's pissed about that. Howard said he heard about that and he's thinking it may have something to do with the new iPhone app they're working on.
Artie said that he heard that they were interrupting the show last week too. Howard said that they were updating channels last week but that was on radios, not on the computer. Howard said he thinks that it may have something to do with that cool new app but he's really not sure.
Howard said he saw the new app for the iPhone and thought it was pretty cool. He said he's not sure when it's coming out and maybe SIRIUS is working on one too. He had no clue. Howard said that he should know what kind of phone he's getting in a couple of weeks.
Robin said that AOL did a poll about what the best drama series was on TV. Howard tried to come up with one and thought about it for a short time. He said that his favorite right now is that True Blood. He said that it must be The Sopranos. Artie said that was his. Robin said that was the one that got picked on AOL. Robin said that it beat out ''Lost'' at number 3 and ''Battlestar Galactica'' which was at number 12. ''My So Called Life'' was at number 21. Howard said that really was a good show.
Artie said that he's not so upset about the ending of ''The Sopranos'' and he gets it now. Howard said that he liked it. Fred said he still hates it and it was a cop out ending. Howard said that it was a way to show Tony Soprano's paranoia. Jon Hein came in to talk about that but Howard told him to leave unless he agrees with him. Jon left. Robin finished off that story and said that ''NYPD Blue,'' ''The Wire'' and ''E.R.'' were also in that list.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was checking out that guy Chunky that they were talking about yesterday and he went to the Now FM web site and saw a white board behind that guy where they had stuff talking about how they were trying to crush Z-100. Howard said that the guy was just stating the obvious. He already knew all of that.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about Rihanna and Chris Brown. They ended up talking about the concert that Howard is going to be doing an introduction for Ringo Starr at. Howard took a call from a guy who suggested that he read a book about meditation and he might want to do that before he makes his speech. Howard didn't get why he had to do that. The guy said that he could get some talking points from the book if he read it. Howard said he knows about meditation because he's been doing it since he was 18.
Howard talked about how he got into Transcendental Meditation when his mother asked him to go. Howard said that he ended up doing an interview with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi at one point when he was at WNBC. They spent a few minutes talking about that and how Howard will be introducing Ringo at that concert. Howard said that he heard that Eddie Vedder is going to be there. Sheryl Crow is going to be there too. Artie said that he'd still like to bang that chick. Howard said he may have to steal something from Paul McCartney when he's there.
Robin read that George Lopez is going to be doing a late night show on PBS. Robin said that George is saying that there aren't a lot of people of color doing things like that. Howard said he doesn't know what he's talking about, there are plenty of people of color on TV. Howard said he should just do a talk show and not just do it for people of color. Howard said that Halle Berry and Prince were on Leno tonight so that's two people of color.
Robin read a story about the newsman who was murdered this week. The cops have found a man who may have had something to do with the murder. Robin said that the suspect is a 17 year old that this newsman met online.
Howard said that this internet dating is dangerous. He said that he tells Benjy that all the time. Howard said he got a note from this guy who said that he was meeting his 50th girl and he was able to get laid almost every night. The guy listed every woman that he had been with and everything that he did with them. Howard said that the guy sent him the whole list. He read through some of that and the guy gave details about which ones he banged, or which gave him blow jobs and stuff like that.
Gary said he knew a guy who got divorced and did the dating online. Gary said that if you go out with a girl who has kids, you're almost guaranteed to get laid. Gary said that the women only get like 2 weekends a month to get out and they're out looking to get laid. Benjy said that it's great for hooking up to get laid and it's best not to date online.
Gary said that he's seen the site that Benjy uses and the posts just say that women are horny and ready to get laid and they tell you where to go.
Benjy said that he's seen women who look awful, like him and Artie, but there are also really hot chicks out there looking to get laid. He said that he's had women like that. Howard asked Benjy how many women he has banged this week. Benjy said that he's been dating lately and he's not really doing that at this point. Benjy didn't want to give out too many details about how he sets this stuff up. He said that some day he will reveal it though.
Howard asked Benjy how long it takes before he can fuck some of these women. Benjy said that he has started within 20 minutes with some. He said that he and this one woman had already established what they were going to do and they got into it.
Benjy said that he played with one woman for like 4 hours and he likes to get women off a lot when he does that. Benjy said that he had intercourse with this one woman and when he's done he showers. He said that he wants to be clean to do it again. Benjy said that he hoped that he could do her again after that but then she wanted to leave.
Benjy said that he can always last a long time when he does it the second time. He's afraid that he's going to have sperm on his penis after he does it the first time so that's why he washes up. He said that this chick was hot too.
Howard asked Benjy if he's afraid of disease. Benjy said that he's a bit more concerned about it now than he used to be. Howard asked Benjy what he does after he bangs these women. Benjy said he still has this hot chick's number. He said that a lot of girls get freaked out by some of that stuff. Benjy said that this woman he was with recently doesn't know what he does for a living and she doesn't even really know where he lives. He said that he can take women there and they won't know where it is. He offered to do that with Robin.
Benjy said that he gives out other names and doesn't use his own. Benjy said that they're regular names but he's not going to say what they are. Howard said he can't imagine that these women don't run away when they see Benjy. Benjy said that he's been in that situation and after you get all dressed up you don't want to just leave.
Howard said he really had to get out of there. He asked Robin to get back to her news. Robin read through some more stories. She had a story about a guy who fell on some subway tracks and had a guy jump down to help him. She had some audio of the guy who helped him pull the guy up right before the train got there.
Robin read that there may be a Sully Sullenberger phone app for the iPhone but she didn't know what it was supposed to do.
Robin read about Dancing with the Stars and how Denise Richards has been kicked off the show. Robin read some news about the NY Giants and what's going on with some of the members of that team.
Robin had some more Octomom news. She read about how the family isn't too happy about the attention that they've had around them lately. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:45am.
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Gary said that some people were creeped out by him but the guy is funny. He said that he really enjoyed hearing him yelling at the callers after the contest.
Gary said that they get a lot of letters from women who want to do stuff on the show and the Sybian is one that's hard to get women for.
Gary said that he looked at the notes about Lou today and he read that Amy wasn't too happy about him being on the show. He said they didn't get into the Amy Fisher stuff too much today though. He said that he thinks that Lou can probably go home thinking he did a good job and not have Amy too mad at him.
Jon said that they learned that Lou was an actor as well as a cop. He as in ''The 7 Ups.'' JD had never heard of the movie so Gary and Jon told him what that was about.
Benjy said that he didn't find Lou that creepy. He said that the creepy thing was when he was yelling at the callers about how he was going to kick their asses. Gary said his favorite moment was when Howard asked Lou what scenario he was going to do and Lou put his hand on his chin and thought about it.
Gary said that Jason walked over to him during the interview and asked if he heard him breathing. Gary said it was great when Lou heard the breathing and didn't even know it was him.
Jon had Teddy play a clip from the contest where Lou was coaching Crystal on her Sybian ride. After playing that the guys talked about how good he is at what he does. Gary said he called Lou like 2 months ago and asked him to do this. Then this morning he had to tell him what to do and never even thought about telling him not to touch the girls. He said that he never saw that coming when he went and touched one of the girls.
Gary said that he was thinking that this was a Sybian ride contest so he didn't factor in the Lou thing. Benjy said that he was voting more on how they interacted with Lou.
Gary said that he had Ronnie as the tie breaker if they had needed him. JD said that Ronnie is mad at him about something that he did. He said that Ronnie tries to get under his skin by calling him Stuttering John because John used to do that kind of stuff, but he really doesn't get to him.
JD said that two of the girls had amazing asses. Benjy said they had great nipples too. Gary said that he goes by the face when he's looking at the women. Benjy said that the face is the thing he looks at for long term but for hooking up it's the body.
Jon asked Gary if he believes Benjy's stories. Gary said that he believes those stories that Benjy tells about hooking up. He said that he did find it odd that he didn't want to talk about how many women he hooked up with and then told that story about the woman he hooked up with on Saturday.
Jon said he thought that Robin was interested yesterday but today she changed her tune. Gary said that he thinks that Robin just isn't into Kurt and if the right person was around, she would be into them. Benjy said that maybe Robin is on a ''diet'' of men and she's decided not to be with anyone for like 8 months. Gary said that maybe she's back together with Jim.
Gary said that Howard has a lower energy dog that needs exercise and Howard's dog is different. Gary said that he thinks that Howard is very much like his father and his way is the only way when he gets into something like that.
Gary said that he doesn't like that Scott DePace hits his dog. He said he knows guys who do stuff like that and remembered someone who used to shove his dog's face in shit when it would shit in the house. He said that he didn't think that was the right way to handle things.
Scott DePace came in and said that they try to do stuff to discipline the dog and it doesn't work. He said that hitting it with the paper and throwing it out the door seems to work just fine. Gary asked if he uses a trainer. Scott said that they don't use one and they don't need one.
Scott also said that Howard is no expert on dogs. He said that he thinks he's an expert and he's not going to listen to what he says to him. He said there's not a certain way to say ''no'' to a dog. Scott said that he would not bark at his dog even if it would work.
Ronnie came in and said that Scott needs to take anger management classes. He said that he has real anger issues toward Jason and toward his dog. Scott said that he doesn't know him.
Ronnie said that he has never hit his dog. He said the dog has never even growled at him, ever. Gary said that he and Ronnie have the same kind of dog and they're very high energy. Ronnie said that his dog does the same thing that Gary's does on the bed.
Scott said that Gary's dog pissed itself when he was over to visit because it was so excited. Gary said that doesn't happen often. Gary said that his wife is the one who disciplines their dog and she will yell at him because she can't get away from him. Gary said that she did that recently and he walked away crying.
Gary said that the dog sleeps in between him and his wife so they're in the shape of an H. He said that the dog will get out of the bed when he wants to have sex with his wife though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he has a dog and they'll throw a toy out for him when they want to have sex but then it will jump back in and sniff around after they do it. Gary said that his dog isn't very well behaved but the dog is so great that he doesn't mind that it does what it does. Gary said that his dog doesn't shed either so he's very happy with that.
Another caller said that they're really creepy with this dog stuff. The guy said that they're just dogs. He said that when a dog jumps on you then you just grab their front paws and step on their back foot and they'll never do it again.
Gary said that there are some people who don't think of their dogs as a member of their family like some do. They just get a new one when one dies off.
Benjy asked the caller how far he will go with disciplining his dog. The guy said that he never shoved his dog in shit but he does get it close and then you wack it on the ass and it will never do it again.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he has the same kind of dog that Gary has and he knows that you don't have to hit them, you just have to raise your voice and they'll stop doing what they're doing wrong. Scott said that the voice thing doesn't work with the lab. He said that the dog will just look at you if you yell at it. He said that he's going to keep throwing the dog outside and in a month he'll have a well behaved dog.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that dogs sleeping in the bed with people is just gross. He asked Gary how he sleeps and how the dog's nose must be by his crotch and his wife's crotch. The guy said that the dog being under the covers is gross. Gary said that the dog only goes under the comforter and not under the top sheet because his wife thinks that's gross.
Gary said that his dog licks his balls so loud sometimes that he has to pause his TiVo when they're watching TV. The caller was saying that's just nasty and gross. He said that sounds like something that Richard would do. Gary said that if the dog left anything gross in the bed then it would be more of an issue.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he was thinking about this whole Robin thing and he's thinking that maybe Robin's heart was broken. Gary said that if that was the case then why did she go out with that other guy? The caller also claimed that Howard was going to have a funeral for K-Rock when they went belly up and he's not doing anything. Gary said he didn't remember him saying that and you can't take it that literally when Howard is saying stuff like that.
Richard and Sal came in so Jon asked Richard about the pissing of his pants. Richard said he was still wearing the same pants and he hadn't washed them yet. Gary said that he can't imagine why he doesn't get rashes and stuff. Richard said that he used to live in a storage unit where he wasn't able to shower for weeks. He's used to that kind of stuff.
Richard said he used to put on a lot of cologne and deodorant back then and that's why he likes cologne so much. Jon asked him why he doesn't just shower now that he knows better.
Richard said that he just peed a little bit and he didn't get that much on his jeans. He said he didn't let a gallon of piss out or anything like that. Benjy said it just doesn't bother him. Jon asked Richard about all of the other people around him.
Sal said that he's used to this stuff and he's thrown in the towel at this point. Richard said that Sal sticks his hand down his ass crack every day. Sal said he doesn't do that but even Jon said that he does. He said he's seen him do it. Richard said that Sal got yelled at for doing that one time. Sal said that he just touches the crack of his ass.
Sal claims that it's just a nervous tick thing that he does. Sal and Richard talked about how they shared a bag of chips yesterday and they were talking about how both of them had to ask each other if they had washed their hands.
Sal said that Richard's finger is always up his nose and he won't stop picking it. Richard said that he was going to stop this year but he hasn't been able to. Sal said that his hands are clean and he's much cleaner than Richard. Sal wanted to show Jon how clean his hands were but Jon wanted nothing to do with that. He had to tell him to get away from him a couple of times.
Richard said that he had a guy shit on his car windshield once and he ended up taking that guy and rubbed his nose into it.
Jon brought up Sal and Richard's Tradio prank calls and how Howard suggested that maybe they should stop with that. Richard said they don't want to stop because they have a lot of ideas for those calls. Richard said that they used to do the public access show calls and they got wise to them and stopped taking their calls. Richard said that they've gone through a lot of the Tradio shows around the country and they may be wearing thin on that. Jon told the guys they did a great job with those calls. They had to go to break after that.
Jason asked how they hid the dog for 3 days. Sal said that his father used to work late and he didn't know it was there. He said that when he did find it he just vanished so they figured he took it out and killed it.
Sal said that he didn't see the dog for 10 years. He said that he didn't even get to see his aunt and uncle for those 10 years because his father had been in a fight with them for that long. Sal ended up calling his mother on the air and spoke to her while the rest of the guys listened in. Sal was having a whole conversation while they were all listening in.
Jon said that was a little window into the life of the Governale's. He said they had to move on but Sal was still talking about how they found the dog and all of that. Sal said that he had to call someone else to find out the rest of the details.
Jon asked Jason about his dog and if he has to push it out of the bed too. Jason said that he does have to do that and the dog will keep running into the dog the whole time they're having sex. Jason said that it can cramp their sex life.
Richard asked if Jason's dog bites him when he puts those outfits on him. Jason said his dog loves those outfits and he's the best dog ever.
Jon asked Will about his experience with dogs. Will said that they used to smack them when he was raising dogs and it's how you teach them not to do things. Will said that it's the way you train them not to do stuff. Will said that he doesn't understand why people dress up their pets in outfits like Jason does. He said that Jason treats the dog like a baby.
Will said that dogs don't have a problem coming back after you smack it once in a while when you're training them. He said that they're not beating them every day and it's just a way to train them.
Gary said that Will has a different outlook on dogs than some of them do. Gary said that he doesn't understand why Will doesn't see why people are into their pets the way they are.
Will said that Gary seems to believe in a different way of raising a pet than the people in rural areas might. He said that things are different out there.
Judah said that he was up there because he's going to be doing some shows on Raw Dog in April. He said that he'll have a show on every week.
Gary said that they were watching ''30 Rock'' recently and they saw the ''Emotional Friend'' shout out on his hat. Judah said he wanted a good shout out on the show and he asked one of the writers what to put on and he told him to do the ''Emotional Friend'' thing. Sal said his wife doesn't comment much about that but she did give a little bit of a smirk. Sal said it meant a lot to him and it turned a negative into a positive for him.
Gary asked Sal about his ''Emotional Friend'' t-shirts and if he had to clear that with his wife. Sal said he didn't have to do that. He said that he used to see people doing that on t-shirts when they'd go to shows so they decided to do that themselves. Sal said that those shirts are the number one sellers now.
Gary said that he came up with an idea to have a full sized cut out of his wife with a t-shirt on it that says ''He's my emotional friend'' with an arrow pointing. Then they could have fans pay to take pictures with her.
Gary asked Judah about how the show is going. Judah said that they were picked up for next season already and their ratings are better this season than they were last. He said they're not spectacular but they are better.
Gary asked Judah about Tracy Morgan and if he's a great actor or a great reality show star. Judah said that he's actually both. He said that he can be crazier than his character or the most mellow guy in the world.
Gary said that Tracy has said some crazy stuff on the show and then he just says that the stories weren't true.
Jon said that they've had some really great people on the show this season. Jason said that he saw the iPhone on a lot of episodes as well. Judah said that some of the plugs that they do on the show are plugs for products and they don't get paid extra for doing that stuff as actors.
Judah said that sometimes he gets like just one line on the show and it's like sitting on the bench. He said he can still do his stand-up though. He said that it is kind of a weird thing. Judah said that he's doing a show in Philly on April 4th. He said you can check out WorldChampionOfTheWorld.com for more information.
Gary asked Judah to talk about the girl who plays the receptionist on the show. Judah said that she's really great and a real hottie too. Jon asked if she's a Steelers fan. Judah said that she may not even know who they are. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about this article he finally got in the paper. He said he had to thank David Hinckley for writing about how amazing it was what he did on terrestrial radio. In this morning's Daily News he finally got that article... ''Howard Stern has proven irreplaceable on radio.''
Howard said that what they did for 20 years was remarkable and other stations that did nothing were getting more press than they were. Howard said they'd only report on when he was slipping in the ratings. He never had anything about his rise to the top.
Howard said that no one has ever had as many number one rating books like he has. Howard said that he had to thank David for writing that article this morning.
Howard read through the article and David Hinckley talked about the long time that Howard did so well in the ratings in New York. He was also talking about how the old station, WXRK K-Rock, has gone down in the ratings since he left and recently made a format change. He talked about the replacements that they tried to bring in for Howard and how none of them worked out.
Howard read about how Opie and Anthony were dropped as well as Adam Carolla out in Los Angeles and everything is still falling more than 3 years after Howard left the company.
Howard thanked David for that article a few times and said that he really appreciates that. Howard talked about how he was waiting for an article like this because so many things have gone on over there at CBS Radio since he left.
Artie said it was like they were ignoring the 400 pound gorilla in the room all this time. Howard said that the radio hall of fame has gone by him again this year because the greatest radio broadcaster has been overlooked once again.
Howard said that the articles about Imus used to drive him nuts. He said that Imus is a no talent and they would write him up like he was some big deal.
Howard said that they're the Babe Ruth's of radio and David finally wrote about that. He said that it's greatly appreciated and that's all he ever wanted from the guy. Howard said that it only took 25 years to get it.
Artie said that they're in their fourth year of their contract already. He said he can't believe that. Howard said it really is a good gig they have there too. They have a lot of laughs and they have a lot of fun there.
Howard said that the band on American Idol is really bad because they sound very ''karaoke.'' Howard said that the way to win American Idol is to make the song your own, like they say on the show. He said that when they do their song at the piano or something they can make it their own and change it. He said that the judges go crazy for that when the contestants do that.
Fred said you have to have talent to do that though and they're overlooking that. Howard said that the one kid who has the eye makeup has some of that talent. Howard said that guy makes the songs his own.
Howard talked about how retarded Paula Abdul was last night with her dopey comments. He also talked about the hot chick on that show with the tattoo sleeve. Howard said that she should be modeling, not singing. Howard also talked about the 17 year old who looks 40. He said that she's pretty good.
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Howard read that this kid who is accused of killing the news guy is a knife fetishist and he was paid 60 bucks to meet this guy and ended up killing him. Howard said that the kid is only 16 years old. Robin said that's under age and it would be illegal to do something like that.
Howard read that this kid was caught after he was spotted with a bleeding hand. The subway operator noticed it. Howard said that's amazing right there that anyone even noticed that someone was bleeding. Howard said he's seen people shitting and with missing legs on the train and no one notices.
Howard said that the kid told the people at the hospital that he had cut his hand on a broken bottle. The cops let him go and he fled to upstate New York to a friend's house.
Howard read that the reporter had posted on CraigsList looking to smother someone for $60. Howard said that this kid was known as his neighbors as being a loner and being creepy. Howard said that the neighbors stayed away from him.
Howard said that the reporter, George Weber, was laid off from ABC and he still had 60 bucks to spend on this kid. Howard said that might be a negative mark against him going for a 16 year old kid.
Howard said he can imagine someone getting really annoyed with Benjy and chopping him up into tiny pieces and putting him into a bad. Howard said he can imagine it like the scene in Scarface where the guy got chopped up in the shower.
Howard asked Benjy if he ever thinks about that. Benjy said that he does. He said that whenever you're doing anything on the extreme you have the same risk as you do in a bar. Howard said that a girl like that could lure him back to an apartment and rob and beat him. Benjy said that he doesn't think there's more of a chance of that happening than just meeting someone in a bar.
Howard asked Benjy about this date he had on Saturday night. He talked about that yesterday. Benjy said that there are some women who can get pretty wild and they do it through the internet like that. Fred said that Benjy might be right and it's a different world now.
Artie said that hot chicks can't have the same sex drive as guys do. He said that a hot chick can fuck anytime she wants to.
Howard found out that Benjy met this girl around 9:30 or so on Saturday night. Benjy said that he contacted her, she didn't contact him. Benjy said that he talked to her and then she sent him a picture. They talked on the phone first. Benjy said that he told her where to meet him and met her out on the street about a block or two away. Benjy said that he has only been rejected by an ugly chick. He said that the hotter the chick is, the less they seem to be concerned with his looks.
Howard said that Benjy is a chubby guy who is balding and he finds it hard to believe that they stick with him. Benjy said that he thinks that he's a good looking guy even if he's not a Stamos. That made Fred and Artie laugh.
Howard said that Benjy is like the chicks who come in there and think that they're Playboy material when they're clearly not. Benjy said that some chicks really aren't that into looks like others are. Benjy said he didn't even have to send this chick a picture. He said that she didn't seem to care about that.
Benjy said that he and this chick had some wine before they did anything. Benjy said that he was doing all kinds of stuff with her and they would cuddle and kiss and stuff like that. Howard and the guys were grossed out by the way Benjy said it. Benjy said that it wasn't four hours straight of oral on her but he was doing stuff like that for four hours.
Benjy said that he's not doing this stuff anymore and he's dating regular girls now. Howard asked him why he's denying this when he's obviously still doing it. He said that he just did it on Saturday.
Howard said he would be so nervous if he were Benjy. He'd think that he'd get rejected. Benjy said he wouldn't feel bad about being rejected because he doesn't even know the women. Howard said that he would feel bad about himself if someone turned him down.
Howard asked Benjy if he could bang like 5 girls in one week. Benjy said that you have to put time into it but he can get a lot.
Howard asked Benjy if he thinks that he's better looking than Fred. Benjy said he has a prettier face than Fred's. Howard said that Benjy isn't answering the question and asked him if he's better looking. Benjy said he thinks he's sexier. Howard told him to give him a yes or no. Benjy said that because he's fat then no.
Howard asked Benjy if he's better looking than Artie. Benjy said that the moment he was. He said that he's also better looking than Gary. Benjy said that they're all ''interesting'' looking to him. Howard said the picture of Gary was him with his finger up his nose. Howard said he knows that Gary is smelling his fingers but Gary denied that he was doing that.
Howard showed Gary what he does with his fingers and told him that he has to watch tape of it. Gary said that he's just thinking when he puts his hand there and he's not smelling anything.
Benjy told Howard that when he met Will for the first time he thought he was kind of a boring looking guy and girls would never be into him. Howard said that's like the Elephant Man being upset about some good looking guy never being able to get guys. Benjy said that he must not know women very well because so many of them are into Will.
Benjy was getting creepy telling Howard how he likes his looks. Howard asked Benjy if he thinks that Jared is a good looking guy. Benjy said that Jared is good looking and he does edge him out. Fred said that this is a weird world they're in where Jared is number 1 and Benjy is number 2.
Artie said he thinks that Will could have gone on a tear and had a lot more women. He said he got married too soon. Howard said that Will did have that threesome when he was younger. Will came in so Howard talked to him about that threesome. Will said that he never went on that tear. He said that's just the way it goes.
Howard said that Will is a cancer survivor so they might have a different outlook. He figured that he made a lot of promises when he was going through treatment. Will said ''Yeah, like God was so good to me.''
Howard said that Benjy is nowhere near good looking in Robin's eyes. Robin said that he's not ugly or heinous like Fred has said. Howard asked Robin if she could have sex with Benjy or... who would it be. Here are her choices:
Howard said that Sharon and Ozzy sent up a promotional package with some candy in it and he heard that Gary ate it all. Gary said that's not true. He did eat some of it but not all of it.
The caller asked what Howard thought about Valerie Bertinelli's pictures in a bikini. Howard said that they looked photoshopped to him. Howard said that they say ''Eddie Van Halen eat your heart out'' but he thinks that Eddie is probably banging some 20 year old.
Howard and the guys also talked about some pictures of Jennifer Aniston that were in the paper where she had a hood over her head so no one could see her. Howard said that he just tires to run away from those guys when they're taking pictures instead of trying to cover up. Howard said that maybe her hair was messed up or something. He said he thought she looked like Darth Vader with the hood up though.
Howard said that Jennifer is very afraid of being seen and she's very private about her life. Howard said that she's not talking about going out with John Mayer either. He said she keeps all of that secret.
Howard said that Jennifer has become the girl who will never be in a successful relationship. Artie said that he would put up with all of her bullshit and he'd marry her in a second. Howard said that Artie would tell her ''fuck you'' in hours if he was really with her. Howard said that she's the girl you use for publicity. Gary said that he should have banged her when she was a Nutrisystem girl.
Howard said he read that Jennifer picks out the olives from her drinks because she thinks that the sodium puffs up her eyes. Gary said that he used to hit on those Nutrisystem girls back when they had them on and he didn't find her that attractive back then. She was still a work in progress. Howard said that Jennifer will eventually start eating again and she will balloon up like Valerie Bertinelli.
The guys talked about this video of a volleyball chick passing out during an interview on the news. Howard said it was a live feed and the guy next to her just stood there looking at her instead of trying to help. Howard said the guy was frozen in the headlights and didn't do a thing.
Gary said they had that girl pass out on the show one time. Gary said that the girl passed out in his arms and he didn't know where to grab since she was naked.
Artie said that he was out at a bar one night in Los Angeles and this drunk passed out in his chair right into his arms. It turned out to be Jan Michael Vincent. Artie said that he was with a friend so he carried him out to a cab and helped him get out of there.
Howard said that Artie passed out on an escalator one time. He didn't remember that story, neither did Artie. Then Robin reminded him of what it was. Artie said that he did get woozy but he was ''dancing'' at the time. He was using heroin back then.
Howard played the audio of the story where Jackie talked about his girlfriend and how he's not that crazy like people think he is. Jackie said that he does some wild stuff in his sex life but not kinky stuff. Howard said it sounds like Jackie has a whole crew in that studio with him. He had his co-host and a woman in there. Artie said that one of the voices was Jim McClure.
Artie said that he was playing with this vibrator with his girlfriend. He said that they were fooling around and she ended up using the vibrator on him a little bit... in the butt. Jackie said that the next night he was talking to the girlfriend and asked her how much she got in there. Jackie said that she told him that he was ''very clean.'' Jackie said that it was the greatest story ever but Howard had no idea what he was even talking about.
Robin understood what Jackie was saying. She said that Jackie was asking how much of the vibrator got in there and he was saying that she told him that he had just been very clean back there because she thought he was asking how much shit he had gotten on the vibrator. Howard said that it sure wasn't the greatest story ever. Howard said that's just Jackie though.
Howard and the guys did their Jackie impressions and goofed on him about that story. Howard said that he was grossed out by that story because Jackie was talking about how he got the Astroglide all over him. Howard said that he has to have Jackie and that girlfriend in there to talk about that.
Howard played some of the interview with Dr. Drew on Jimmy's show. Jimmy had taken the narcissism test that Robin took and he didn't know that someone would read about it. Howard said that they took the test too and they didn't know it was going to end up in a book either.
Dr. Drew said that Robin was the highest score they got in all of the tests they gave. They were talking about Adam Carolla's score of 29 and Dr. Drew said that the only person higher was Robin.
Dr. Drew talked about how Robin has never had any treatment while Howard has. Howard said that Robin has had treatment though. Robin said that he's carrying on like he knows her but he really doesn't. Howard said that Robin is like the Babe Ruth of narcissists.
Artie said that he had a great conversation with the therapist that Howard had recommended. Artie said he set up a session and he really enjoyed it. Howard told Artie that when he hates it, he has to hang in there. Howard said that things are going to get rough and he has to stick with it.
Artie said that he's going to see a friend that he hasn't seen in about a year and a half. Howard said he has his best friend Dr. Lou and he only sees him about once a year. Howard said that they're not girls so that's why they don't see each other that much.
Howard said that Beth has some friends that she has to talk to very often but he said he just needs Beth in his life. Howard said that Beth is happy with him and he thinks that he's a good husband.
Howard said that Ross Zapin is one of those guys who has to stay in contact with his male friends all the time. Howard said that he texts them from concerts and stuff. Fred said he doesn't get that. He said that when you're at a concert he shouldn't be texting people. Howard said that Ross has a friend with him all the time. He's very girlish like that.
Gary said that Ross went down to see Bruce Springsteen at some practice concerts in Asbury Park, New Jersey. He said that Ross started to send him texts and pictures and at some point it just got annoying. He said that Ross was sending Jimmy Fallon those texts and Jimmy had to ask him to remove him from his mailing list.
Howard said he might want to be on that list just so he can see what Ross is up to. Gary went back to his office so he could read some of those texts to him. Artie is on the list and he sees all of that stuff. Howard said he sees Ross busy with the Blackberry all the time when he's at a concert.
Gary said that the first text from Ross said ''All Aboard'' and sent a picture of the exit on the parkway showing that they were in Asbury Park.
Gary said that some of the people respond to his texts and they're really into them. Howard said that all of those guys must be gay. Gary read through a bunch of the texts and the responses. There were some people saying that it was a great show and all they knew was what Ross was sending in the texts.
Gary said that Ross put up a note about a song he hated and people were joking about how he loved it when he texted about it. They all know that he hates that one song so they respond to him and joke about it.
Howard said that all of those guys must be gay. He said that it's very odd to be doing that kind of thing where they text about it. Artie said that if you're at a concert you should just enjoy the concert. Howard said he thinks that he'd rather be on a train to Auschwitz than on the Ross Zapin texting train. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and wondered what was up with the song because it had some extra sounds in it. Fred said that it was a remix by Fatboy Slim. Fred said it made the song fresher so he'd have to give it a half hearted thumbs up.
Howard said that speaking of thumbs up he had Richard Roeper on the phone. He said that Richard was doing the Ebert and Roeper show for the longest time. Richard said they renamed it to just ''At the Movies'' last year. Richard said he left the show after they wanted to make some changes to the balcony set and remove the thumbs up and down. They wanted to make it ''zippier.''
Richard said that he left when they wanted to bring in Ben Lyons from the E! channel and he had never reviewed a movie in his life. Richard said that he's a nice kid and it wasn't personal but he wanted nothing to do with the show anymore.
Richard said that it's been 10 years since Gene Siskel died and he was on that show after that. Richard said he didn't want to stomp on the legacy of the show so he stepped away. He said that he and Roger are working on a new show together and Roger will be behind the scenes on that.
Richard said that Roger is writing some of the best reviews that he's ever written. Roger was a great guest on the show according to Howard. Richard said that Roger has a voice synthesizer on his computer now so he can talk through that.
Howard said that he heard that Richard broke up with that Asian chick he was dating. Richard said that was about 3 years ago. Howard said that chick was so hot. Richard said that she was too young. Richard said that she's still in her 20s. Richard isn't dating anyone right now. No one serious anyway. Artie said that Richard is in love with the lady cinema. Richard said that sounded very gay.
Artie said that Richard is the guy who said that he liked ''Beer League'' better than ''Spider-Man 3.'' Richard asked if they're going to option the rights to his ''Too Fat To Fish'' book. Artie said that there are some nice offers out there for it. He said that they're working on it. Artie said that he's just thinking about taking a boat load of money for it and let them do what they want with the story.
Howard said that when he sold the rights to his movie the studio was getting upset with the way things were going. He said that they were going to hire someone else to make the movie like Jeff Goldblum. Howard said that would have been a big mistake. He said that he was having a nervous breakdown at the time but now he looks back on it and thinks that it was pretty funny.
Howard said that Richard is writing a book right now and the premise of the book is like Super Size Me but with gambling. Richard is trying to show people how gambling can ruin your life. Howard said that the funny thing is that Richard has been taking $1,000 a day and he's been winning, not losing.
Richard said that he's in day 7 of the gambling thing. One of his friends bet him $1,000 that he would lose at least $15,000 and he hasn't lost yet. Richard said that he's been gambling on slot machines and the people playing them aren't even in human shapes. Richard said he played for a couple of hours and lost a bunch of money but then he stopped in some other slots and hit 3 grand. He said he was trying to lose but ended up winning the three grand on a $25 slot.
Howard said that the human beings playing slots are really out of shape. Howard said that's Scott the Engineer's favorite way of gambling. Artie said that he used to bust Scott's balls when he'd play the Wheel of Fortune slots. He said that he sat there for 5 hours one day.
Richard said that he was down at a casino one time last year and they had double wide wheelchairs at the casino. Howard said that Scott is in the best shape out of the people who play those slot machines. Scott said that he plays blackjack too, not just slots. Scott said that he won $2,500 on the first day they were in Vegas on that Wheel of Fortune game. That's why he liked playing them out there.
Howard said that guy William Bennett was addicted to the slots. Richard said that if you're going to have a vice you'd think that it would be at the craps table or something, not the slot machines.
Howard asked Richard what he's going to do if he wins and doesn't lose all of this money. Richard said that he will have to let it ride. He said that he actually got his first royal flush of his life while doing this gambling thing.
Howard said that Richard is writing the book for a publisher so it's already sold. Richard said that it should be out next year. Howard asked him if he has a gambling problem. Richard said that he does like to play but he doesn't think he has a problem. Richard said that he doesn't play the slots usually but he does gamble some. He said he just bought lottery tickets for the first time the other day and he didn't even know the lingo for what to ask for.
Richard said that he heard from some people about how he was doing this at the wrong time with the economy the way it was. Richard said that he's not gambling their money so he's not sure why people are upset. Richard said that he's probably up by about 4 grand at this point.
Richard said that he had an idea for Artie and said that maybe Artie could pick a game and he'd bet him a grand straight up. Artie was going to pick the game and the team. Artie said that he'll do that since he's doing it in his real life. Artie picked Memphis over Missouri. They put a grand on that straight up.
Howard asked Richard if he's done with TV. Richard said that they should have something to announce in the next couple of weeks. Howard said that Richard's book ''Bet the House'' should be in stores early next year. Howard said that you can also find his movie reviews at RichardRoeper.com. Howard let him go after that.
Howard talked about how bad the band is on that show and how good the guy is at playing the piano on his own. Robin didn't think that he was very good on the piano but Howard thought he was. Howard said that you have to feel bad for the guy going through life being blind like that. Howard said the guy's sister is blind too. Howard said he'd wear sunglasses if he were that guy. He said he'd want to have a cool look. Robin said that Stevie Wonder is going to be on Idol tonight.
The caller said that the guy has his eyes wide open on the show and he's not sure how he does that. Howard said that maybe they should write in and tell him to wear sunglasses and if he does that they'll vote for him.
Robin said she didn't even know the guy was blind. Howard said it's heart breaking to him to see something like that. Robin said the guy has a positive attitude though. Howard said he feels for him because he can't even see a sunrise. Robin said that the guy is probably enjoying his life and Howard shouldn't feel that way.
Howard told Robin to stop telling him how he should feel. He brought up the narcissist thing so Robin said that she thought he wasn't going to use that against her anymore. Howard said that he had to do that. He said that she does tell him how to feel a lot. Robin said that guy doesn't need pity from Howard. Artie said he can't wait to go to therapy so he can start telling people how to feel.
Robin said that she went to therapy for a year and a half and she thinks that Howard and Artie are a mess and they really need help.
Howard said that the one girl on Idol has gotten carried away with the tattoos. He said that it's not a good idea to do that stuff because that sleeve becomes an outfit when you try to wear an outfit that shows it off.
Howard said that Robin has that one tattoo on her titty and no one knows what it really says. Robin said that it means ''star'' but Howard said he was told it means ''Queen.''
Howard said that there are a lot of people freaking out that Robin led Kurt Angle on and then turned him down. Robin didn't have much to say about that. Howard said he liked that she blew that guy off.
Howard said they got a lot of mail about Robin and Kurt and also some mail about Scott DePace and the AIG argument. Howard said that some people pointed out that Scott said that the AIG people should get their money because of the contracts they had but then he said that the auto workers union contracts should be dissolved.
Howard said he got a note from Sam Simon about hitting dogs. Sam said he was right about not hitting dogs because it doesn't work to train them. Howard said that Sam was wondering why Scott would even get a dog since he doesn't seem to have any empathy or passion. Sam said that he heard that even Hitler was nice to his dog.
Howard said that Sam told him that he knows of some people who are willing to take Scott's dog so they can find it a decent home.
Artie said that his father used to have to deal with dogs all the time when he was installing antennas and he used to do what Howard does with the barking ''No!'' and it worked. Howard said he ran into a pack of dogs when he was out running one time. He said that he has done that barking thing before and the dogs walked away.
Robin said that she did that one time as a kid. She said that she used to walk to school and there was a neighbor who let their dog out early in the morning. She said that the dog was out and started to charge at her. She said that she growled at it and the dog ran away from her.
Howard asked Scott what was up with this contract thing. Scott said that the unions are at the cause of the failure of the car companies and the AIG contracts don't have anything to do with them failing. Scott and Howard went back and forth on that for a couple of minutes.
Howard was also talking to Scott about his dog and Scott told Sam to go sit back in his mansion and leave him alone. Howard said that all dog trainers agree with him about not hitting dogs. Scott said that he's had dogs all his life and he knows how to deal with them. Scott said that he just taps the dog on the ass and she knows that she did something wrong. Scott said that lion tamers use whips on lions so a little tap on the dog's ass isn't going to hurt.
Howard talked about this one video he saw on the web where this dog was trying to help another dog that had been hit by a car. The one dog was so loyal to the other that it tried to move the other one to safety even though it was in the middle of a busy highway. Howard said that you can't compare a dog to a lion like Scott was doing.
Scott wanted to go up against Fred in an IQ test after they went over some of that stuff. Fred said he wasn't sure if he could beat him. He said that he really doesn't like IQ tests. Howard said that Fred is very smart and he knows a lot of stuff. Scott said that Fred does know a lot but that doesn't make you intelligent, it just shows you know a lot. He said he wasn't calling Fred dumb or anything.
Howard said that Fred can play the guitar and that shows intelligence too. Gary said that Scott thinks that playing instruments is dumb. Scott said that he didn't say that. He said that he was saying that he doesn't want to support his kid going to a music college when he knows that the kid isn't going to get rich doing it.
Fred said that there have been studies done where they show that music can improve the right side of the brain. Scott said that it's a waste. Gary said that he wasn't being honest. Gary said that Scott told him in front of the whole office, that he wouldn't push his kid to play an instrument because it's a waste of time. Scott said that if his kid wants to play then he'll back him up but he's not going to force him into it.
Howard said that Scott is being wrong there. He said that his father had him learn piano because it's like learning another language. Howard said that he wishes that he had been more active earlier in his life in sports and stuff. He said that you don't have to choose one or the other, you can do both.
Howard and Scott argued about that and about the dog thing a little more. Howard said that the dog won't ever listen to him if he keeps hitting it. Scott said that he's not going to bark at the dog like Howard told him to. He said that his wife had him using a squirt bottle and that didn't work so he's tired of listening to people about that stuff.
Howard said that music is a very important part of life and for a child to have an understanding about music theory is very important. Scott said that he doesn't get that and doesn't get why he should push him into that. Scott said that he took two drum lessons and quit. He said that he found it boring.
Howard said that Scott's priorities are out of order. He said that Scott is a very simple human being. Scott said that Howard is so wrong on this. Howard said that he's considered a genius in many areas and he doesn't know why Scott would think he knows better when he's not a genius. Howard said that Scott has never excelled in anything. Scott was laughing at that.
Scott said that he thinks he's smarter than everyone in the studio. Howard said that he was done trying to help him. He said that he's announcing that others can help if they want to but he's no longer going to do it. Scott was fine with that.
Howard told Scott that music theory is very important. He said that his father was an engineer and his partner knew piano and could sing. That guy became a great engineer because the people they recorded with wanted to work with someone like that. He said that his father could have done a better job if he knew more about music. Howard said his daughter is fluent in Spanish and she gets paid more because she knows the language. Scott said that he agrees with that.
Howard told Scott that the kid may not become The Beatles but that doesn't matter. Scott said that's what he doesn't want for his kids. He doesn't want them thinking that they're going to be The Beatles when they're never going to be.
Howard said that he can't play guitar very well but he can play well enough to go up on stage with Sam Kinison, when he was around, and jam with him. Howard said that women melt for a guy who can play guitar. Howard said that even Fred had women melting for him.
Howard said that if Scott knew music he would be an even better director. Scott agreed with him about that. Fred asked Scott why he invented the Video Caddy and used that as an argument in the music discussion. He asked Scott why he would invent something if he's not an inventor.
Howard asked Scott if it was true that his brother and sister were musicians and failed. Scott said that they were and they got nowhere with that career so it was a waste of time.
Scott ended up going off on Robin even though she wasn't saying a word. Scott said that he could tell what she was thinking just by looking at her reactions.
Howard had Scott's dog on the phone. It was the guys in the back playing barking sound clips. Howard said that the dog was saying that it hates Scott. Howard gave the dog a barking ''No!'' and shut it up for a few seconds. Then Howard asked the dog to bark twice if he hated Scott. They had the dog saying that the Video Caddy was a waste of an invention. They also had the dog growling at Scott whenever they brought up his name. Howard let the dog go and then went to break.
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who asked if he had heard about the Three Stooges movie they're working on. Howard said he had heard about it and the Farrelly brothers want to have Sean Penn, Jim Carrey and Benicio Del Toro playing the stooges. Howard said that you just can't remake a comedy team like that. He said he just doesn't get why they would even try.
Howard said he's not sure what they want to do with the movie and if it's going to be a remake or a movie about the Three Stooges. Howard read the article he had about it and it said that it would not be a biopic.
Howard said that Ryan Seacrest is so affected now and he seems to be so in love with himself. Howard said that he must be a 39 on the narcissism test. He said that Ryan was on Idol last night doing a bit with Paula Abdul and he had to go under her desk to get some Crayons and he said the word as ''Crowns.'' Howard played the clip and goofed on Seacrest for a few seconds.
Howard got back to the Three Stooges thing and talked about that a little more. He said that they'll look like the stooges and have the same names but it won't really be about them.
Howard asked Eric what was up. Eric said that it was about time he got back to him. Howard said he didn't even mean to hang up on him earlier. He said that was accidental.
Eric said that they were talking about Idol and he thinks that the Adam kid is the worst performer ever in the history of that show. Robin thanked him for the call and said she won't let him go on and on today.
Howard and the guys saw that Eric had some new hair color going on so they asked him about that. Eric said it's been a couple of weeks since he got it colored.
The guys were also pointing out the blemishes on Eric's face this morning. Eric said that his acne will clear up and Artie's fat ass won't. Artie said that he'll be thin way before his acne goes away. Eric said that he won't be thin in a few days or weeks.
Howard asked Eric what's up with his lip. He hoped it wasn't herpes. Eric said they're just zits. Eric said he tried squeezing the one near his lip. Eric said that the blotch on his forehead was part of his condition that he's had since he was a kid. He said that it gets worse as he gets older. It's called ''Stork's footprint.'' Howard said that Eric didn't get one break in his life. Fred said it shows that there is no god.
Howard said he doesn't know anyone who had so few breaks in their life. Eric has the club foot, he's 3 feet tall and now he's got this stork's foot. Howard said at least he has hair.
Howard asked how many people in the world have the stork's footprint thing. Eric wasn't sure. Howard said it's like the stork stepped on his head after it dropped him off with his parents. Artie said it's like a nickname of someone in Brooklyn like Shitbreath Tony.
Benjy looked up stork's footprint on the web and nothing came up. Eric said he's pretty sure that's what he told him. Howard said he heard that the parents shot the stork. Howard said that's so rare that it's not even on the internet. Artie asked Eric if he was right about that thing. Eric said that he was pretty sure.
Eric also brought up Scott's argument about using whips on lions and tigers. He said that they don't come close to the animals with the whips, they just crack them. Artie started saying goodbye to Eric after that. He asked him if he had any other things to plug.
Fred said he found out that the stork thing was actually called a ''stork bite.'' Gary came in and said that they say that occasionally the stork bite thing doesn't go away. Eric really doesn't get any breaks.
Howard had a doctor on the phone who said that the stork bite thing is usually on the neck and that's why it got the name because they thought it was from the stork dropping it off. The doctor said that he could have it lasered off and it can be treated. Robin asked if it would really make a difference. Eric said he wouldn't mind getting rid of it.
Dr. Jules said that he could help him out with the zits too. He said that he'd give him something to get rid of that. Howard asked how long it would take to get rid of the stork bite. He said it would take like 4 or 5 treatments and it would be painless.
Howard asked if they could turn his foot around too. Dr. Jules laughed and said that he wasn't sure about that and quoted Eric's ''I'm club fuckin' footed you asswipe'' line.
Howard said that Dr. Jules would have comped him if he lived around there. Howard said that Thea Vidale was there so he had to get to her. He let Eric go and then went to break.
Howard came back and said that comedian Thea Vidale was there. He said that she had her own TV show for a while. Howard said that she must be bitter because she's so talented and everyone who knows her and her act says that she's very funny. Howard said that she should be a major star and it just hasn't happened.
Thea said that she hasn't gotten the right team together. She said she needs a management team that's on point and can make things happen but there are a lot of lazy people out there who want her to make everything happen.
Thea said that there are a lot of women out there trying to be her and they just aren't pulling it off. Thea said that she can't hand with the clicks out there in Los Angeles like some people can.
Howard said he read that Thea gave a kid a whopping in school when she was a kid. She said that she didn't provoke but if you push her long and hard, she will get you. Thea said that she tries to be nice but people will push her and she will get back at them.
Thea said that she doesn't play the game well and she didn't know what she was getting into when she moved to L.A. Howard asked what went on with her TV show. Thea said that she grew up in Texas and she learned that Los Angeles is the most racist and homophobic place to live.
Thea said that she has talent but the thing is that there's a certain energy that you're supposed to have out there and she just didn't have it in her. She said that she thinks she should be able to keep her dignity. She thinks that she's still in the game though.
Thea said that she had to thank Howard for talking about her when she hosted the AVN awards. Howard said she was funny doing that. He said that she's above that though.
Howard read that Thea has had a tough life and she once had to serve some KKK guys while they were in costume at a restaurant she was working at. Thea said that she was working in the restaurant and they would come in dressed up in all of their clothes and didn't mind showing their faces.
Thea said that she has an affinity for the rednecks out there because they're the ones who brought her to the comedy clubs.
Thea was coughing a lot and said that it was very hot in there. Howard asked if she wanted him to turn down the heat. She told him to get her some Jack Daniels. She said she was just kidding about that. Howard clapped and got Gary to come in and fan her.
Howard asked if Klan members tip well. She said that they actually do. Howard said it's okay then if they tip well.
Thea was still coughing like crazy and said that it was the heat in there. Howard said he was freezing in there all the time. She told him that's because he's so thin. Howard said it was nice to have a woman with real breasts like she had. She said that real breasts are supposed to move unlike so many women who have the fake ones.
Howard asked Thea if she had any abuse in her childhood. She said that she wasn't the favorite and she was the black sheep of the family. She said that her father didn't like her. Howard asked if she asked him why that was. She said that he didn't like her because of the difference between her sister and her. She said that her sister was pretty.
Thea was coughing and complaining about the heat. Artie asked if she wanted some water or something. Howard asked if she wanted to take a break. She said she just wanted some air. Howard asked Gary to lower the heat. She said she was feeling like she was sweltering. Thea said that she's 52 and thought she was going through menopause but she just had a period last week. She said she asked the lord what that was.
Artie said that Thea looks really good for a 52 year old. Thea said that she liked that she could fuck and not get pregnant and then she had the menstrual cramps and her daughter was freaking out joking about how it was going to be baby central again.
Howard asked Robin how long it's been since she had a period. Robin said she doesn't even remember. Howard said it could come back for her too. Robin told him to shut up.
Thea told Howard about her four kids and the awful marriage she was in. She claims that her husband used to beat her and once hit her over the head with a chair while she was breast feeding one of her kids. She said that she found the stand-up comedy thing and she fell in love with that. She never thought she could do something like that but when she finally did she loved it.
Thea said that some people who used to come to the restaurant she worked at told her to go to a comedy club. She thought they were out of their minds. Then they took her to a club and a light went off in her head. She said that she couldn't go on that night but the week after she worked on some stuff and got on stage. She said that she looked at the people who brought her and started talking about stuff that went on at the restaurant and it turned out to be a great time for her. She told Howard some of the material she was doing and had him laughing. Thea said that it was like a dream for her.
Artie said that's the kind of thing he hoped he'd have on stage but he ended up bombing. Howard said that Thea had to leave her children with their father to go out on the road. Thea said that he was only ''that guy'' with her and not with the kids. She said that he was okay with the kids.
Howard asked Thea about the Octomom. She said that woman only has two titties and she's not sure what she's going to do to feed all 8 of those kids. Thea was also saying that she has the nerve to have more kids after having 6 already. Thea said that she had just four that she can't stand and this woman had 8 more. Thea said that she won't say anything about the slow kids that Octomom has. She said that they just ain't right.
Thea said that she has four normal mo-fuckers and someone who has 14 is just going to have way too much bullshit going on in her house. She said that she can't possibly know all of their names. She said she's going to have to refer to them as ''y'all'' instead of giving them names.
Thea was wondering who is going to take care of all of those kids. She said that she's going to have to hire 7 illegal aliens to take care of all of those kids.
Thea said that most people can't handle just one or two kids, never mind 14. She said that there are kids out there that need adopting and they don't need even more kids being born. Thea said that she doesn't like that Angelina Jolie either. She called her a home wrecking ho. Thea said that she's just doing too much. She said that she loves Brad Pitt.
Thea said that she liked watching Titanic and seeing all of those white people drowning. She said that she tells that joke in her act but says people not to get upset because they had black people drowning in Amistad. Thea said that her black friends didn't cry during that movie. She said that she loves Billy Zane but he was such a wretched soul in that movie.
Thea said that she likes to watch old movies and stuff and she likes to be high. She said that she's been smoking weed for a long time now and she thinks it's the best thing out there. Thea said that if you were around 12 people who were always complaining, you'd want to be high too.
Howard asked if it's hard for her to get weed. Thea said that's why they have medical marijuana out in California. That's why she has a foot that hurts. She said that she's black and her right foot hurts, that's why she needs the weed.
Howard asked Thea about why so many black men are going black. She said that the guys she's been with don't ever go that way. She said that she's very submissive in bed and she will do whatever she has to so she can please a man. She said that she has to be married to a man to let him fuck her in the ass though. She said that is the last vestige of innocence so that's why she's like that.
Howard asked Thea about Rosie O'Donnell. Thea isn't a big fan of her's and she really didn't think that she needed to come out of the closet. She said that no guy was out there saying that she wanted to fuck her and there was no reason for her to come out. Thea said that she's not thrilled with her negativity. She said that she doesn't have an issue with her being gay or anything though.
Howard asked Thea if she's attracted to any women. She said that she is attracted to some butch women. Howard asked if she's attracted to Paris Hilton. She said she can't stand that scrawny girl. She said that she likes the basketball player types. Howard said that maybe she'd like Tyne Daly. Thea said that she likes biker types and tall girls. Thea said that she hasn't been with women for years. She said that it was a short fancy she went through.
Howard asked Thea about her weight gain and said that he's worried about that. Thea said that she had a doctor offer to do a gastric bypass on her but she's not sure about that. She may want to try something else. Howard told her she could do it on her own. She said that her daughter told her to do it that way too.
Howard said that Robin lost a lot of weight. Robin told her what she does with the detoxing and how that would work great for her. She said that she would give her the coffee enemas and stuff too. Thea asked if she really does those enemas. Robin said that she absolutely does.
Thea said that she would like to cuddle with Whoopi Goldberg. Artie said that she'd like to steal her wallet. Thea said that she doesn't want her money.
Howard gave Thea a plug for some appearance she's making in Sayreville, New Jersey this weekend. She's going to be at a club that Artie heard is really nice. Thea said that it's a beautiful theater. She said that she talks about adult stuff in her show. You can find out more at PrimeTimeComedyOnline.com.
Howard said he feels that this year is going to be Thea's year. He said that Michael Jackson is making a come back and this will be Thea's year as well.
Howard and Thea talked about Michael Richards and what happened with him when he used the N-word in his act. Thea said that if someone hadn't taped that thing then he would have been back in that club the next night doing his act again. Thea said that Michael isn't that sorry about what he said, he's just sorry that it hurt his career. Howard asked Thea if she thinks that Michael is racist. Thea said that he was on that show with no black people on it so maybe he is. She said that there are a lot of shows that have no black people on them.
Howard told Thea that her boobs were turning him on. She pointed out that he likes the women like her but he marries the skinny women. She figured that she'd be the type that he would cheat on his wife with.
Robin asked Thea if she needs a well endowed man to satisfy her. She said she didn't but Howard told her about Robin telling them about taking in an 11 incher. Howard asked if she would be okay with a 6 incher. She said that she needs it a little bigger.
Howard and Thea talked about Chris Brown and Rihanna a little bit too. Thea said that Chris needs anger management and probation at least. She said that they see no signs of it happening before but he did a bad thing and before he was selling his albums he was just another black man. She said that he needs to get some help. She said that Rihanna is going back because she believes that she loves the guy. Thea said that she thinks that she can see this kind and loving guy in him and only sees that as one incident.
Thea said that if you stay with a man who abuses you, it shows that the man is ill and then you become sick too. She said that it turns out being two sick people.
Thea said that things aren't over for Rihanna. She said that she also doesn't think it was right for P. Diddy to give Chris and Rihanna his house instead of getting after him for what he did. She said that he did that to himself. Robin said that they keep saying that they weren't there to see what happened but they really don't need to. They can see her face to know what happened.
Thea said that she would separate Chris from Rihanna and let him find out what's going on in his mind that makes him think that he can do that to someone.
Thea said she knows that she's going to get phone calls from people asking her why she's saying this about the black man but fuck that. She went on to say that the rage Chris had is something that he probably didn't even know he had. She said that his mother should have gotten him that help before the rage came. She said that it's been a rage that's been dormant in him and he needs to get help to get it out of him.
Thea told Howard that her father used to tell her that no one would ever want her. When she did get married and her husband hit her, she felt she had to make it work to prove her father wrong. She said that was her downfall and she never should have done that.
Howard wrapped up with Thea after giving her some more plugs for her comedy gig. He said that you can also see her on Showtime on the Kiki Melendez special in April. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that he'll be hanging with Eddie Vedder but he figures that no one gets along with him so Eddie won't like him. Howard said that he had David Letterman do him a favor and appear in his movie and it was very awkward being in a room with the guy.
Howard said that he likes that Robin is able to talk to people. Howard said he's unable to talk to anyone. Artie said that Dave seems really nice when he's around him. Howard said that he takes the blame for that because he's the awkward one.
Gary said that he saw Dave and Howard together for the movie and Howard was trying so hard and Dave would say something that would just bring him down. Howard said that he was trying to make it fun for them but Dave really didn't seem to like it.
Artie said that he knows the awkward feeling because they all came out for his movie premiere and he had the feeling that they were miserable since they were doing him that favor.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said that they had a great week of shows this week. Howard asked what he liked. Jeff said he liked the Sybian rides but it may have jumped the shark when Fred the Elephant Boy rode it.
Jeff asked if they're planning any trips anytime soon. Howard said they aren't planning any trips. Jeff sounded all bummed out so Artie said that he was just doing his thing to make them feel sorry for him. Howard asked Jeff if he has any plans for a job soon. Jeff said no to that.
Howard told Jeff that he should train for the iron man. Jeff said that he can't even get his feet off the ground. Howard said that he's seen guys with no legs doing that kind of stuff. Jeff could do it if he had some motivation. Jeff said that he has no equilibrium. The guys told him that's because he's drunk. Howard let him go after that.
Robin picked story 4 as the false one while Howard and Fred picked story 1 and Artie went with number 2. The actual false story was number three.
Steve said that there was an article in People Magazine about Robin and Kurt Angle's almost-relationship. Howard said it would be great if she was at some of those wrestling matches. They could have some great story lines.
Steve said that Star Jones is posting more about Robin in her Twitter feed. She said that she heard the Stern Show for the first time after meeting Robin. Howard wondered what the group would be with Robin and Star Jones. Howard figured that it would be Robin, Star and Annemarie. Artie said that he actually took his sister and Annemarie out to dinner last night.
Howard said he heard Robin out in the green room talking to Thea before the interview. Howard said that they don't even need a microphone on her because she talks so loud. Robin said that she doesn't usually bother the guests and that was just a one time thing out there.
Howard said he heard that Robin was introducing Thea to her weight loss people too. Robin said that she did that too.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down his list of subjects for today's show. Fred ended up doing an impression of what it must have sounded like when Howard was in the bathroom and heard Robin in the green room. Robin said that she just said a quick hello and didn't spend any time in there with her.
Robin said that she can't help it if she has a voice that projects like that. Howard said that she really does project very well. Howard said that he might have to come up with a Broadway play that she can perform in.
Howard had Mutt on the line to promote tonight's Superfan Roundtable. Mutt said that he's going to ask what people think about what's going on with Robin and Kurt Angle. Howard said that on the intern show they talked about Robin and he had the clip to play. Howard played that and the intern was talking about what Robin told her about the Kurt Angle thing. She said that Robin told her that she has other things going on and she's thinking that she might be getting to know someone else and that's why she turned Kurt down. Mutt said that just adds to the controversy.
Mutt said that some people think that she was just trying to throw Langford off the scent. Robin said that's not the case. Mutt said they're also going to be talking about the Hey Now thing. Mutt said that he hasn't been able to embrace it himself. Howard said that a lot of people have started to do it because of that conversation. Howard said that he loves it. Artie said too many people are doing it.
Mutt said that they're going to talk about Ass Napkin Ed as well and the fact that he's auctioning off back stage passes. Howard let Mutt go after that.
Howard and Artie did their impressions of Robin and Thea's conversation and goofed around with that for a short time. Artie was talking about how thin Tim Sabean was looking and how he tried not to get too close to him today because his breath was so bad yesterday. They talked about how Tim's breath was really shitty. Robin said that happens when you're detoxing sometimes.
Robin read a story about the iPhone app for Sully. She said that she brought that up yesterday and now she has more information about it. She said that it allows people to reenact the plane landing in the Hudson.
Yucko the Clown called in asked why Artie is bringing Ass Napkin Ed to shows and not bringing him. Artie told him that he's not performing, he's just going to be there. Yucko thought he was going to be performing. Howard ended up talking to Yucko about his parent's house burning down and how sad it was that Yucko was still living at home with his parents. Yucko said he loves calling in because they make him feel so much better.
Ralph called in and said that he has that Sully app and you get to listen to the audio and get to fly the plane. He said that it's actually pretty cool.
Robin read a story about a pilot that was suspended when he decided to pray when his airplane had trouble. Howard said he forgot to ask Yucko a question. He said that he meant to ask him if it's tough to put make up on over tears. Robin said that she now thinks that Sully is a hero after reading that story.
Robin read that the video game creators have honored their own and had a game developers choice awards. They'll be picking the game of the year and she rattled off some of the games that are nominated. Scott DePace came in and didn't recognize most of them. Scott was talking about some of the stuff he does play and Artie cut him off telling him to go fuck himself and thanking him for coming in.
Scott had some shaking going on so Howard asked what was up with that. Scott said that he was told that he was an alcoholic after he went to find out what was wrong with him. Scott said that he only drinks about a six pack a week, tops, and the guy told him he was an alcoholic. Scott said the doctor told him to cut it out and he just said ''no.'' Scott said that his life insurance policy went up because of that. Howard barked a ''no!'' at Scott and said that should cure his shakes.
Daniel from the Bleeding Deacons called in and said that they're doing a gig this weekend and they'll be performing one of the new Robin songs at the show. Daniel said that they also did a new video for Howard TV where they did an original song for Robin and made the video. He said he's not sure when that's supposed to air. Daniel said that they're going to be at The Whiskey this Saturday night.
Fred played the song parody that they're going to be performing this weekend. It was one about Robin to the tune of John Mellencamp's ''Pink Houses.''
Robin got back to her news and read a story about the way different religions bury their dead. They all have different ways of handling it. The guys ended up talking about that stuff for a few minutes.
Robin read a story about a guy who shoved his mother's remains inside his freezer. The guy froze her so he could continue cashing her social security checks. Artie said that's a lazy, evil thing to do. Howard said that he guy should get a job. Robin wondered if he just folded her up in there or if he had to cut her up.
Robin said she heard on the news yesterday that Natasha Richardson's family donated her organs after her death. Howard said he heard about that and it's a very nice thing to do. Artie said that he will do a nice thing and not leave his organs to anyone. He figures that they're not in very good shape. Howard said that people who are dying have better organs than he does.
Artie said that a fan sent in a book for him to sign. He said that this woman just gave the book to her uncle that's 60 years old. He said he read what she wrote to the guy and she wrote ''...you might be 60 years old but at least you don't look like Artie.'' Artie said that kind of hurt. He said that was a true story though.
Robin read a story about the Canadian health care system and how it may have been part of the cause of Natasha Richardson's death. Howard said he thinks that there's a piece messing in that story because she was told to go to the hospital and you don't usually have people telling you to do that unless something really bad happened.
Robin read a story about this Conficker worm that's set to infect computers on April 1st. There's a reward for any information that leads to the arrest of the person who created that worm. Howard said that it should be like $50 million instead of the $200,000 that they're offering.
Robin had a story about Octomom firing some people who were working for her as nannies. Robin had some audio of one woman talking about the firings and about what's going on in that house. The audio quality of that woman sounded kind of like when Howard and Fred were doing their impressions of Robin being heard through the wall in Howard's bathroom.
Howard said that he likes that game where you have to try and guess what Robin and Thea were talking about in the green room. He and Fred did their impressions of Robin talking through the wall with their hands over their mouths. They went back and forth with that stuff for a couple of minutes. They had her name dropping quite a bit. Howard said he's not sure why he likes that game so much.
Howard played more of the audio of the woman being interviewed about Octomom and Fred said that he thought it was someone doing an impression of Robin.
Howard asked Robin if she would take in any of the Octomom's kids. Robin said she's not interested in that. Howard did more of the impression of her in the green room.
Ralph called in and told Howard to give Fred a raise for that impression of Robin. Ralph said that he knew that the two of them were doing it but Fred's impression was great. Howard said he was out if his impression wasn't as good. Fred said that his was funny too.
Ralph said that he loves that Robin is that loud. He said he knows how she can get that way. Ralph said that they were out to dinner one night and some people moved their table because of her getting so loud. Robin said he was lying about that.
The guys all started doing their impressions of Robin talking in the green room. They were all name dropping and goofing on her. Robin was laughing and Ralph told her that she could probably just go home now that they had the impression going.
Howard said he was trying to hear everything that was going on in the green room. He said she had her own show going on in there.
Robin got back to her news and said that maybe she should go out to the green room and do it. Howard said she should. Artie said that this might be the new Ted Kennedy impression. Howard couldn't stop doing it. He and Fred kept it going for a few more minutes.
Robin read a story about Lisa Ling's sister being kidnapped. She was trying to do the story but Howard and the guys were all still doing their impressions of Robin in the green room. Howard said that his worst fear would be hearing Robin saying ''When you see Howard, don't be scared of his face.''
Robin read more about the Lisa Ling story and Howard was saying that he just wanted to see who was the hotter sister. Artie said that he was the same way. Both of them said that Lisa is the hotter one but her sister is pretty hot.
Robin said that there's a guy who created a hot looking robot and he had it walk the runway at a fashion show. Howard said he can't wait for robots to get to the point that they're like Cylons. He said that it would probably warp him out with real women if he had one though.
Gary said that they have a show coming up on Monday night with Robin and Tim talking about the diet thing. Gary said that they're doing that at 7pm on Monday night on Howard 101. Howard said that should be great.
Ralph called in to talk about a quick conversation they had earlier about the worst show business decisions. He threw in Andy Richter's name as being one who shouldn't have left the Conan O'Brien show.
Howard asked Robin if she's going to be doing any enemas on air on Monday night. Robin said that she won't be doing that. Howard said that Tim having one would be very, very good. Robin wasn't interested in doing it but she said that she'll bring some coffee.
Robin asked Howard if he thinks about race when he sees President Obama. Howard said that he does and it's just human nature. Artie said he does too. They said that maybe it's not human nature but it is the nature of humans in America. Howard said that he's all with Obama on a lot of stuff and he's really not thinking about him in a racial way. Artie said that he heard on Bill Maher's show that Obama is the most threatened President ever. He said that's kind of depressing.
Wheels called in and asked Howard if he considers himself white or Jewish. Howard said that he's both and he's not really that religious. Wheels said that they keep saying that he's African American but he's just as much white as he is black. He said that he was also raised by a white mother so it seems kind of insulting to him.
Wheels was also asking Howard why he was saying that he likes to have spontaneous sex when he's always talking about showering before. Howard said that he might be right about that. Wheels told him that he should just be able to go right in there whenever Beth is wearing a skirt.
Howard asked Robin if she had anything else. Robin had another story about Bernie Madoff's brother having his assets frozen. Robin said that the whole family should have their assets frozen as long as they have that Madoff name.
Robin said that Wesley Snipes is trying to get out of the country to make a movie but authorities won't let him leave because they think he's a flight risk. Artie said he seems like a reasonable guy and he doesn't know what's going on with him.
Robin read a story about a guy who was trying to get to a 17 year old gymnast who was on Dancing with the Stars. The cops think that he was trying to kidnap her. Robin said that they're giving her extra security now.
Robin said that Vin Diesel is back with another Fast and Furious movie. She had some audio of him talking about the movie. Howard cut it off pretty quick. Howard said that it was a pretty lethal interview with him talking so slow. Howard let a little more of it play and said that he'd have to tell him that he has a life to get back to if he was talking that slow in an interview. Vin was talking about how important it was to have the original cast in this third movie. Howard said it's like he needed everyone from the Godfather to come back.
Robin had some audio of Reese Witherspoon talking about her new movie as well. Howard cut that off after about 2 seconds. Robin also had some audio of Seth Rogen talking about the movies he's in and how none of them have any moral message in them at all. Howard said he likes that guy. They had to end the show a short time later, right around 11:10am.
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Gary said that he eventually laid it down on the couch and let it blow on her the whole time. Jon said that it was a great shot that he saw behind Thea. Scott DePace said that he had Gary on the camera and it was awesome to watch.
Gary said that Howard would usually tell him to get out of there but this was actually helping her out so he let him stay. Gary was laughing at one point. Gary said that's because it was so ridiculous.
Jon had Teddy play a clip of Thea talking about how hot it was in there and coughing like crazy. After playing the clip Jon said that she really didn't sound good with that cough. Gary said that he lowered the temperature in the studio and he doesn't think that did much. He thinks that it was just in her head that it was cooler. Scott said that it was really disgusting when she was coughing too.
Jon took a call from a guy who thought that Thea sucked on the show. He said that he can see why they passed on George Carlin to get this chick on the show. Gary said he didn't know what to say about that. Gary said that George Carlin was a guest on the show one time and he wasn't a very good guest. He wasn't funny and he was very serious.
Jon said that Thea was a good guest because she had so many strong opinions and stuff. The guys spent a few minutes talking about the stuff she was talking about and how good she was. Gary said that she was a little slow getting started but she has never been on the show before.
Jon said that no one judges you on your face unless he's just on the computer. Benjy said that he thinks that everyone would agree with him that his face is the best out of the room.
Benjy asked the people in the studio if they thought that he had a good face. The woman that was in there said that he was exceptional from the eyebrows to the bottom of his lip but he can't go much more below that.
Gary said that he thinks that some of this might be his ''shtick coma'' but some of it isn't. Gary said he wishes that he felt that good about himself.
Benjy said he wishes that he were in better shape but he still thinks that he had a good face. Scott said he's still looking at his high school picture and thinking that's how he looks today. Benjy said that's not the case.
Jessica the intern said that Benjy would be better looking if he lost weight. She said that he's not an ugly guy or anything. Gary told her to be honest because he won't have any effect on her grade. Gary said that Benjy thinks that he's one of the top looking guys in the world with that face. He thought that they were stuck in the vortex so he and Jon moved the show along.
Scott said that he's willing to take a test to prove that he's smart. He said that there are funnier people and better communicators on the show but he thinks that he's one of the smartest on the show. Scott told Jon that he's also one of the smartest. Jon thanked him for that.
A caller asked if Scott was part of the Narcissist test. Scott said he just took it and he came out at a 14. He was surprised by that. Gary said that Scott rarely admits that he's wrong and that's a narcissist thing to do.
Gary said that Howard and Robin have admitted that they were wrong about the Iraq war thing and they came out and said that. Scott would never admit he was wrong about something like that. Scott said that he will if he ever comes across something that he thinks he was wrong about.
The guys also talked to Scott about the music thing a little more. Benjy told him to look it up on the internet to see just how important the music thing is. Scott said that he will push his kids to play sports and to get an education. He said that he doesn't get the music thing.
Gary said that Scott won't encourage his kid but he also won't stop him. He said that not encouraging him is like stopping him. Gary asked Scott what he will do if his son tells him he wants to play the trumpet. Scott said that he will say ''that's great'' but he's not going to push him into it.
Gary said that most kids who pick up a musical instrument will play for a few years. You have to keep encouraging them to keep it up. Jason said that Scott is changing the way he was talking about this back in the office because he was saying that he wouldn't want his kid involved in the music business at all.
Scott said that he won't encourage his kids to get into sports either. Jason was saying that can be just as much of a dead end. Scott seemed to agree with him on that.
Jon and Gary were talking about what they think parents can do to help their kids out. Jon said that there's a big difference between not telling a kid about something like music and just letting them find it on their own. Gary and Jon gave Scott their advice but Scott was arguing with them about the stuff they were telling him.
Artie called in and asked about Scott saying that he was the smartest guy in the studio. Artie said that he will accept that he's dumber than Robin, Howard and Fred but he's much smarter than Scott. Scott said that Artie is a lot funnier than he is and he's got a better memory than him. He said that if they took an IQ test he would beat Artie.
Scott said that he thinks that he has the ability to figure out problems. Artie was making some noise so the guys wondered what that was. Artie said that he was in his $120,000 car driving by Scott's car that looked like a shit that his car took.
Artie asked Scott what it is that makes him think that he's smarter than him. Scott said that he's heard some stuff that Artie has said about politics and stuff and that's what he's using. Artie said that he doesn't analyze politics.
Jason said that Scott thinks that he knows more than everyone else and that's where this is coming from. Scott said that he knows that he's smarter than Jason. Gary asked how he knows that. Scott said that it's through conversation and how people put two and two together. He can tell from that.
Scott said that he is confident that he is very smart. Artie said that he is smart but he doesn't get why he thinks he's smarter than him and what evidence he has that he is. Scott said that he thinks that people aren't bright when they say that George Bush lied. He said that he doesn't think that he lied. He's heard almost everyone in the studio say that he did lie. Jason was laughing his ass off during that discussion. Jon had to cut everyone off so they could take a break after that.
Artie said that Scott will try to joke with him and try to outwit him. He said that he's probably 0-68 in that. Scott told him to try opening a computer and get that to work. Artie said he could get that in 20 minutes. He said he could also learn golf and be better at it in no time if he was interested.
Jason asked Scott if he thinks that stuff like comedy is a sign of intelligence. Scott said that it is but he's not sure. He said he really doesn't know.
Artie said that he's not claiming to be some smart guy. He just doesn't think that Scott is all that much smarter than him. Gary said that there are some people there who call Scott stupid but it's not him, it's Will and Jason. Gary said he was just kidding about that but Scott seemed to think it was serious.
Artie said that he was just busting Scott's chops and he really did just find it amusing that he said he was smarter than him. Scott said it's called confidence and he should try finding some. Artie said that he has plenty. Scott said that he has never seen anyone around there saying that people are so much smarter than them.
Artie asked Scott if he really thinks that he's smarter than Scott. Scott said he really doesn't know. He said he just thinks that they would be close.
Jason said that Artie and Fred read and learn stuff and Scott just says he's smart and he doesn't need to learn anything else. He said that he's really not that intelligent and he doesn't apply it to anything.
Ralph called in and said that Scott isn't very smart and he's very narrow minded. He said that's ignorant and that proves that he's not as smart as he thinks he is. Ralph said that he's just been digging his hole deeper and deeper.
Ralph said that he thinks he's smarter than Scott and he will put 10 grand on that. Scott said he would bet $500 on that but not 10 grand. Gary said that he can make that happen.
Artie said that he finds this funny but he thinks that both Ralph and Scott are smart but he's not sure what they're basing their arguments on. Scott said that he's had Ralph call him up about technical issues that anyone should know and he can tell he's not that intelligent. The guys had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:35am.