|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
We heard from Gary about Al and how he was perfect for the show. He said he was very glad when they became friendly with him. He said he kind of legitimizes the show. Gary said they can have naked chicks on and Al too. Robin talked about how most politicians won't come on the show until they're out of office. She said that guy has a lot of support out there and he was willing to take the chance to do the show. She said she thinks that Al had some advisors who were younger and told him to give the show a try and that's what he did.
Howard talked about Al taking that chance to do the show and he wasn't uptight about it. He said he started to realize the power of the show when Al did it. Al said Howard never abandoned him. He said he was going to lose the election in 1992 but Howard stood behind him.
That led into a show clip where Howard was talking about Al calling into the show and how people were saying he was a loser. Howard said the fans told him he was wasting his time but he really doesn't care what other people think. He knows that Al is the best man for Senator of New York. He said he was telling people to vote for D'Amato and he was doing it right up until election night. Robin and Howard talked about what they did to help Al win the election.
Al was on the phone and thanked them for what they did. Howard said Al is the only guy who thanks them for what they do. Al told Howard he wanted to win one more time and this was a wonderful feeling. Al talked about how well he did in so many of the areas there in New York. Howard said he put his ass on the line for this guy and he's never backed a winner like this before. Howard and Al talked about what helped him win and how great it was. Howard congratulated him again and let him go a short time later. Howard said he played that one right and it worked.
After that we heard Leslie West talking about how Senator D'Amato became a friend of theirs and how Jackie once wanted to throw D'Amato into Howard's pool and he didn't realize that the secret service guys were there. He said they told Jackie he couldn't do that or they'd take him down. Senator Al talked about the group of guys he'd hang out with and they were like family. Al said they used to play poker and hang out together. He said they were like kids playing cards and hanging out. Al said that Dominic Barbara is a high states poker guy but they'd play for a few bucks. Al said the one guy who could have bought and sold everyone was Howard and he'd tell everyone they were just there to have fun so they'd stick with the dollar games.
Former channel 9 show producer Dan Forman talked about the poker games and one of the games they played where one of the guys passed out in the middle of the game. He said they thought the guy was dead because he had something leaking out his behind. They ended up calling 911 and the woman who was with Senator Al claimed to be a paramedic and an attorney. She ended up helping this guy and then the ambulance showed up. Howard never spoke about it on the air. Dan said that they were all getting up to leave but Al didn't want to go because it was so hard for him to get out that night. He made them stay to play more cards after that whole thing.
Fred talked about Senator Al and how impressive it was to have a guy like that show up on the show. Fred said D'Amato was always good for New York from what he could see and it was nice to have a friend like that on their side. He said he's glad he became associated with the show while all of that stuff was going on with the FCC.
Senator Al talked about the FCC being on Howard's ass and how one of the guys on the FCC was offended with Howard's language so he'd tell him he didn't have to listen. He said he wrote a letter to the FCC and told him this stuff and told him to lay off. He said what he was doing was saying that you don't need government telling you what to can listen to. He said it's easy to turn someone off because you don't have to watch or listen.
After that we heard another show clip where Howard was talking about an article where the FCC was threatening to yank the license of the stations he was being broadcast on. Howard said this is an 81 year old man and he's claiming that the fines they're getting don't seem to be doing anything. Howard said this is an 81 year old man threatening this stuff and they really have to take him to court to get this straightened out. Howard said they don't think they're doing anything wrong but they won't take this to court. Howard said they found out that the fines are being filed by other radio stations and that's how people are competing with him now. He said he wants to go to court to fight this but he can't get there for some reason. Howard talked about some new fines that were filed against the show and the name of the woman who filed them was a pseudonym. Howard said that she must be a Rhodes scholar based on the way she wrote them.
We heard from Al D'Amato talking about the complaints from the FCC and how outrageous they were. He said that some people think that Howard denigrates women but it's one of those things you don't have to listen to. He said there is freedom of speech and you can't stop someone from talking the way Howard was. He said he felt offended himself that they were going after Howard and not even just because he was his friend. Al said he spoke to this one guy there at the FCC and after he spoke to him he thinks that he calmed down a little bit. Al said Howard was well within the limits of what is allowed on the air.
We heard another show clip where Howard was talking about what Senator Al did for them. Howard said that Al basically said that the company he works for brings a lot of money to New York and they're willing to stay there and bring money into the state and the FCC is going after them for no good reason. Howard read some quotes from Al where he backed them up and said that people can turn Howard Stern off if they don't like what he's saying. Al wrote about the way the FCC was holding up deals with Infinity Broadcasting because of these fines and that just wasn't fair. Howard talked about how this guy was going around taking away licenses and it was unconstitutional. He said the only one speaking out about it was Senator Al. He said he had to thank him for that because he didn't have to do it.
They played a show clip where Howard took that call from Christy Whitman that day. Howard picked up on her and spoke to her for a few minutes about some of the stuff she was going to try and do for the State of New Jersey. She and Howard talked about some stuff that was in the news about her. She was trying to straighten out some of the stuff that wasn't reported correctly in the news. Howard told Whitman that he found her attractive. He also asked if she could help with the FCC. She said it all depends on what he says.
Howard told Whitman that he will back her since she was the first one to call in. Howard told her that they're there for her when she needs them. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard said they now know senator D'Amato and this Christy Whitman and they still have the FCC on their ass.
After that we heard from Christy Whitman talking about how she knows people were upset with her for going on the show but every vote helps and she's sure that she got some votes thanks to Howard. She said she still gets that from people today who say they remember hearing her on Howard Stern. We heard from Robin about how people like to hear politicians being on the show and being human. She said that it can show that they can handle themselves well if they can do an interview with Howard. We heard from Howard about that as well and Governor Whitman eventually gave them a rest stop that was named after him. He said he thinks that was Jackie's idea to do that and Governor Whitman said okay to it. He said it was so great when that happened.
They played a show clip where Howard took a call from Governor Whitman. Howard said she must have been desperate to call him. She said she's just smart because she knows where the number 1 ratings are. Howard asked her if she would name a rest stop after him. She said that it depended on the part of the rest stop. Howard told her that if the audience had a reason to vote for her then he's sure that they will do it. Whitman said that she could name a toll booth after him. Howard said the rest stop would be better. Whitman insisted that it be the toll booth. She didn't think the rest stop would work. Howard kept asking so Whitman said that she will look into it. Whitman called Howard ''Imus'' at one point so he told her what a waste of time Imus is and how she has to avoid that show. Whitman told Howard that she will do what she can to get the rest stop named after him if she wins.
Jim Forbes said Howard made headlines about this whole thing. Howard had asked Whitman about smoking pot. Whitman said she had tried it and ended up puking and that was the last time she used it.
We heard Howard asking Whitman about that pot smoking and Whitman saying she learned her lesson from that one time she smoked. She said that she never did it again. Howard said he likes to hear that because it proves that she's human. Howard said normal people have smoked pot even if it was just once. She said she was able to go up to the bathroom before she puked. Jackie said he's never known anyone to puke from pot. Howard said he knew someone who did that. He said some people who aren't used to smoking might puke. Howard suggested that she legalize pot in New Jersey but she said that's not something she's going to do. Billy West did his Jackie impression saying ''Please!'' to the legalization of pot. Howard spent another couple of minutes talking to Whitman about the election and them backing her. Howard told her to name that rest stop after him. He asked her what she was wearing and how much she weighed. She was dressed but didn't say what. Howard asked what her measurements were and took a guess. He said 35-24-36. Whitman said that her sister just walked into the room and she was hysterical over those numbers. Howard let her go a short time later.
After that we heard from Christy Whitman who was talking about the things Howard would talk to her about like what to wear to the inaugural ball and things like that. She said they were interesting discussions. Gary talked about how he loved her on the show because she didn't seem to have a problem with what Howard asked. Howard also said that his audience went out and voted for her. Whitman said that every vote counted and he reached a wide audience. She said his fans were very devoted and they went out and voted. She said that she gives Howard credit for helping her win that election.
We heard a news report about Whitman's win where they were speaking to people about Whitman's win and to Whitman about it. In the clip they said that Whitman had taken time off from the election during the summer and something helped her out in the last few weeks. The reporter talked about Whitman calling Howard Stern to get his support. They played some audio from the Howard Stern Show and talked about that support.
We heard another show clip where Howard took a call from Governor Whitman after she had won. Howard told her that the initial reasons they backed her was because she dialed the fastest. He said that he thinks that her last phone call to them was what helped. He said he thinks it was the ''goofy vote'' that they may have helped her get. Howard talked about her coming on the air and how it humanized her. Whitman said she had a lot of people saying that to her. Howard said the pot smoking thing made her human. He said he can't think of one person, in their age group, that never tried pot. He said it really worked for her. He thinks that the audience heard that and decided to give her a try.
Howard told Whitman he tuned in to see the election results and saw that she was up by a few points right away. He said he liked seeing that and he's glad that they gave her a chance. Howard said it was very exciting for them all.
We heard from Robin who was talking about the rest stop and how Whitman made good on the promise. She said that Whitman continued to come on and do the show while she was having the re-election and stuff like that. Jim Forbes said that it took 14 months but they did come through with the rest stop. Whitman talked about the plaque they created for the rest stop. She said she presented it to Howard on the air and she had to take that plaque back so they could hang it up at the rest stop.
They played the show clip where Whitman came in to present the plaque to Howard. Howard was surprised to see her that day. Howard said that he didn't know she was coming in. Whitman told Howard they had worked on getting this rest stop thing worked out and they found a spot they could name after Howard. She said that it was on Route 295 toward Philadelphia. She showed Howard the plaque and Howard described what it looked like. Whitman said that this plaque will be in a cement monument at the rest stop. She said it's the first one on the southbound lanes in Burlington County. She showed Howard the plans for the rest stop and where the statute was going to be placed. She said it would be cemented into the ground so it couldn't be stolen. Howard said he didn't think she was going to come through with this but he was very happy about it. Whitman said it would be installed within two weeks.
We heard a news report where a guy was talking about how upsetting this rest stop was. The guy said that Howard Stern is a foul mouthed jerk and he didn't deserve this.
After that we heard Howard talking about how people were going insane over the whole thing. He said that the money wasn't even from tax payer money and they were still freaking out. Christy Whitman said that people really were upset with her but she just told them to get a life. She said you have to have fun sometimes and she didn't worry about it. Whitman said Howard's fans were rabid about it and the sign did end up getting stolen but it was sent to Howard. She said Howard did something when he got the sign. Howard said he ended up keeping it so she didn't have to go through that whole process of getting it put up again. She said she was grateful that he handled it the way he did.
They played another show clip where Howard talked about getting that plaque and reading a report about the whole thing. He said that Whitman's people were suggesting that he hang it in the bathroom there. Howard said he might have to do that because that's what they seem to want him to do. Gary came in and told Howard that he had a truck driver on the phone who could tell him a lot about the rest stop that they had given him. The caller said that the rest stop was known for prostitution and things like that. Howard said that sounded perfect. The caller said there's a whole lot of ''queers'' there too. Howard said that's what he expected to be reading about happening there at the rest stop. The caller said that guys wait in their cars and proposition the truck drivers that stop there.
After that we heard from Artie Lange about the rest stop. Artie said he and his buddies stopped there to see if there was anything special at the rest stop. He said they noticed a lot of gay activity. He said that he remembers seeing guys fucking there and they just got out of there. That rest stop has been shut down according to Christy Whitman. Howard also talked about that rest stop being a gay hook up spot and he thinks that's actually great and very fitting for his show. They went to break after that.
We heard from Jim Forbes who was saying that on March 10, 1994 Howard would change the way people thought of him. Gary talked about how things were always wild on the show because one morning he came to work and all of a sudden he was Howard's campaign manager.
They played a show clip where Howard talked about how he would like to run for governor even though He's not qualified to do such a thing. Howard said he would run and step down once he got the death penalty passed. He said he knows he's not qualified for the job and he will step down as soon as he's done with what he wants to get done. He said he wants to get he roads fixed and he would also fix simple stuff like Gary's teeth. Howard said he wants to fix the construction issues. He said they should not have toll booths backed up at 4 in the morning but the one thing he's going to pass is the death penalty thing.
We heard from Ray Stern who was talking about how they ended a change back then when Howard was going to run for governor. She said that it worked out well. We heard from Howard about his run for governor and how he was going to have just three things. He said he had the death penalty, construction and the tolls. Don Buchwald said Howard anted to fix the potholes and the death penalty thing and he was going to use the dead to fill the holes. We heard from Howard about that as well. Howard said he's conflicted about the death penalty now but he wasn't back then. Howard said he also said he would resign when he was done doing what he wanted to get done. Robin talked about that and said that Howard had seen what he could do for D'Amato and Whitman so he wanted to do it for himself and get himself elected. Don Buchwald talked about what Howard was doing and how they had to keep it a real thing so they didn't go too crazy with what Howard anted to get done.
We heard a show clip where Howard was talking about how he had been approached in a serious way about running for governor of New York State by the Libertarian party. Howard said in order to make a serious run you can't go for the write in votes. He said the only way to win is to have your name on the ballot. He said he can do that with the Libertarian party. Howard said he's entertaining this because they came to him and told him that it would be easier to run under that party. Howard said he got a letter from someone claiming to be a member of the organization and it seems legitimate. He read that note and said he's going to throw his name into the ring and see what happens. Howard said he will be on the ballot and he will resign once he gets his stuff done in office. Howard said he thinks that he has the support of the fans.
We heard from Howard again about the Libertarian party getting behind him in this. He said they had some stuff as a party that he liked. Howard said he wasn't going to get the democrats or republican's to back him. We heard from Joseph Brennan about how not all of the Libertarians were backing Howard. He said some of them were but they did need someone famous to get their message out there and he was sympathetic toward some of their ideas so it was a good match. Howard said he felt good about the match up at the time. We heard from some other Libertarian party members like Ludwig Vogel and Joseph Brennan again.
After that we heard another show clip where Howard and Robin talked about the convention they were going to and how they should get a film crew in there to film it all. Stuttering John was saying that they were getting a lot of phone calls about this and he wasn't sure what to do with them all. Howard said he was going to be appearing at this convention and he thinks he might be signing autographs there. Howard said he thinks that the other guys are going to be shaking in their pants when he gets on the ballot. Howard wasn't even sure when the election was going to be held. Stuttering John was wondering about that. Howard said it was going to be cool being the governor.
We heard a clip of Jesse Ventura talking about being a part of a party like the Libertarians and how hard it is to be in there with the two that control the power. Jesse said that their main objective is to make sure no one else gets into the game. Jesse said that they're like the cops that come in on a domestic abuse case. He said that the third party that comes in is the one that gets turned on.
We heard from Howard who was saying that Carol Alt was there that day and it was a hysterical thing. Howard said he thought that they were going to be able to win this thing. Carol Alt talked about that day she was there as the announcer and how it ended up on the news. She said that she changed the lines that they had written for her and she thinks that helped get it on the air. Ludwig Vogel talked about how great that day was and how the press didn't know what to make of that or what to make of them.
They played a news clip where they covered the press conference Howard held. They had audio of Gary introducing Howard and reading the lines that the guys had written for him. Gary then introduced Carol Alt who introduced Howard to the press. Howard and Robin went out and spoke to the press about the run for governor.
We heard another news report from FOX 5 News in New York. They had Penny Crone reporting on Howard's run for governor under the Libertarian ticket. They played some clips from the press conference where Howard talked about what he wanted to accomplish with this run for governor. Howard said he was running because he was fed up about a couple of issues. The death penalty was one. He said he wanted to get the tolls fixed so they can move traffic along better. Then he wanted to get the construction problems fixed. He wanted construction done at night instead of during rush hour.
We heard from Fred who said that Howard running for Governor was one of the funniest bits they ever did. He said he never took it seriously. Fred said Howard as governor was very funny to him. Christy Whitman said she wondered if Howard was serious about it too. She said she thinks that he may have been based on the stuff that he was saying he wanted to get done. She said she thinks that Howard wanted to be able to engage in those issues at a serious level.
In another show clip we heard Howard talking about running for governor and how so many politicians are afraid of him. He said he's going to have that ''juice'' when he gets into office and he will be juicing people 10 at a time in the electric chair. Howard said there will be smoke around him all the time from the electric chair. Howard said he's going to pile 10 guys at a time and put them on pay-per-view. He said the public would be happy about that. He said he wants the juice. Fred played some zapping sounds and Billy West did his Hitler impression as they were talking about the electric chair thing. He said he'd pile them so high he'd have to have warnings for the airplanes flying around. Howard said they need a governor with juice. He went on and on about what he'd do if he had that power to bring back the death penalty. Howard was throwing everyone on the pile even if they did something like J-walk.
Next up we heard Pat Cooper talking about Howard's run for governor. He said Howard scared a lot of people with that. He said everyone knew he wasn't going to run but he did scare people. He said he backed away and got away from it. He said that Howard did the right thing and it was his way of telling people they were full of shit. Richard Belzer talked about the run for governor and how it shook people up. He said it was kind of a joke but Howard was outraged by some stuff and he made people think.
We heard a show clip where Belzer was on the show and talked to Howard about his run for governor. Howard told Belzer not to ruin it for him. Belzer said that wasn't what he was going to do. He told Howard what he knew about the Libertarian party and what their basic premise was. Ludwig Vogel was sitting in on the show that day so Belzer asked him some questions. Belzer said he likes that Howard is running but he has to know what's going on there. Howard told Belzer why he was with them and argued with Belzer about that. Howard said he thinks that the Libertarian party has the muscle to get him into office.
We heard a Larry King Show clip where Larry was talking to Mario Cuomo about Howard's run for governor. Mario said that he doesn't dismiss anyone's run for office like that. He said he has a plausible opportunity to run. Mario said that Howard's run would show that it really is a democracy. They went to break after that.
After that we heard Jim Forbes talking about Howard picking his running mate for Governor. Robin talked about how Howard picked this Stan Dwarkin guy and how he was a good choice to take his place once he stepped down. We heard from Stan too and Stan was saying that he got the call from Gary one day and asked him if he would be interested in running with Howard. Stan said he thought it was a great idea and called the show back the next morning and told Gary ''Let's do it.''
They played a show clip where Howard told Stan that he was going to be his running mate. Stan thanked him for that and said that he could be there in Albany with him the next morning. He said that he'd get up there for the big day but not the night before. Howard was heading up the night before. They were all set to run at that point. Jackie said this was way too legitimate. Howard said he really could win. He played a theme song he had for his run.
We heard from current day Howard about finding Stan to run with him. He said it was good because they had approached some other people to run and no one would do it. Stan said that people still laugh when they think of his involvement with Howard. Jim Forbes said that they headed up to Albany and met for the first time up there.
They played a show clip where Howard was heading out to the tour bus to go up to Albany. Robin said that this was a momentous occasion. She said that it could be the start of Howard running the state. She said it was a moment in history. Howard said everyone was going to follow them up to Albany. Howard spoke to some people on his way out to the bus. He talked to Fred the Elephant Boy who was there to introduce him once they got up to Albany.
Next up we heard current day Gary talking about the trip up to Albany and how it was full of crazy people from the show. Howard said they had girls on there and there was a lot of excitement. He said they had to stop along the way to make campaign speeches. He said they stopped by some communities that were hurt by unemployment and stuff like that and it was great to be able to speak to those people.
We heard another show clip where Howard was practicing speaking to some of the people they'd be running to out on the campaign tour. Billy West was doing his black impression and talking to Howard as one of the people he'd see out on the tour. We heard some clips from the tour where Howard stopped and spoke to some people out on the road.
We heard from Ralph Cirella about how much fun that trip was. They played more of the tour audio after that. We heard Gary telling Howard they could go to Goldfingers strip club on the way but they'd miss out on speaking to some people. Howard chose to go to the strip club. He spoke to the people there instead of people on the street.
We heard Ludwig Vogel talking about how he went to that strip club and got bronskied by a woman there and it was a complete surprise to him. He said someone caught that on camera but he fully enjoyed it.
They played another show clip where Howard was speaking to Ludwig and the woman came over and bronskied him. Howard asked who the woman was. She was ''Colt 45.'' Howard said he had never seen anything like that before. Howard asked Colt a few questions and found out she was a 34-HHH cup.
We heard Stan Dwarkin talking about how he had never met Howard before and he went on this bus that was filled with strippers and fans of the show. He said Howard didn't like that he had a moustache and that was the first thing he pointed out.
They played a show clip where Howard was talking to Stan about that moustache and how he wants him to shave it off. He said no governor has a moustache like that.
We heard Stan saying that Miss Howard Stern (Elaine Marx) had offered to let him shave her if he shaved off his moustache.
That led into a news clip where they talked about Howard's tour on his way up to Albany. They played some audio of Howard's speeches and then some clips of some Libertarian party people who thought their credibility would be hurt by Howard running under their ticket.
They played another show clip where Howard was leaving his bus and heading out to greet people up in Albany at the Libertarian convention.
We heard Gary talking about the convention and how they had Kenneth Keith Kallenbach go up to introduce Howard. He said it didn't go over well with the crowd there. He said it was great on radio but it was awful for the crowd there. He said he laughs his ass off now that he hears it but back then it was really embarrassing.
They played some show audio from that convention when Fred the Elephant Boy went up to introduce Howard Stern. Elephant Boy said a few words. He was going on and on reading his script. Howard told Gary to get him off the stage because he was going on too long. Howard said that was a disaster. Then Kenneth Keith Kallenbach got up and seconded the nomination of Howard Stern. Kenneth said he knows Howard would be a good governor. Then he said he drove up from Philadelphia and said he wanted a turkey sandwich but didn't get one. He said people think he's a wacko but ''I'm no wacko.'' Ken said a few more words and then started to pull a dildo out and asked who wanted to see his dildo. Howard told Gary to get him out of there when that happened. Howard said he was so embarrassed by that. He wanted to get out of there or hide under a table. Howard said he thinks the dildo line got everyone crazy.
Next up we heard Gary talking about doing that convention and how there were a lot of Libertarians not being too excited that Howard was involved with them. Stan Dwarkin said that there were probably more reporters there than he's ever seen in one place at one time. He said he heard that there was a Russian news reporter there. He said he felt he was in a Filini film at the time. Howard said the media made the whole thing great and it all became great theater.
They played another show clip where Howard had to get up on stage to debate the other candidate. Howard didn't know they were going to be doing that. Howard made his way up on stage and they were having problems getting things to run smoothly.
We heard from Ludwig again about how this was the biggest convention they had ever had and it went relatively smoothly. Ludwig said that there was a dentist there who was yelling that this was a ''putch'' and he had to yell that they were out of order. The guy was saying that this was a disgrace to the party and Ludwig told him he was out of order and tried to silence him.
We heard more from Stan Dwarkin about how some people thought Howard was using them but they were also using Howard to secure their spot on the next gubernatorial election. Stan said that they were both feeding off of each other.
There were also some people who weren't happy that Stan Dwarkin was running with Howard. Joe Brennan talked about that and talked about how they weren't able to find anyone that the Libertarians wanted and they were unhappy that Dwarkin was a democrat.
We heard another show clip where Howard went up on stage for his debate with his opponent. Howard said a few words about what Joe Brennan had said about not supporting him even after he had urged him to run under their ticket. Howard said he was serious about this and he wasn't just up there to jerk off. He told the crowd why he was there and how serious he was about running. Howard said he thinks that Stan is a good running mate and they will see that when he gets up there and speaks. Howard spent a few minutes speaking about why he was qualified for this and why he was running with the Libertarian party. There were some issues with Dwarkin and the fact that he wasn't a Libertarian when he showed up there. They were saying that they were going to hold the vote until the next day.
After that we heard Howard talking about how he had to work out a deal with the other candidates in a back room to make sure they'd let him run. Don Buchwald talked about how he had to work with those guys on a back room deal to be sure they didn't hold off the vote for weeks. Stan said that Howard wasn't going to stick around so they had to make a deal. Don talked about how they promised them jobs with Howard if he was elected and it was hilarious to do this. Don said Howard was arguing with these people back stage and it was a real political argument.
We heard some of the audio from back stage where Howard was talking about how he would appoint these people to his staff if he was able to pull this thing off. There were still people thinking that they needed people who were part of the party to run. Howard said he thinks they should just run and win and then worry about it. One guy said he can't see Howard winning the election.
We heard another show clip where Howard was talking about how they all had to cast their votes and wait for the results. Howard said if he does get the nomination on the first ballot then he'd ask them to accept Stan Dwarkin as his running mate. They read the results and Howard won the vote with 287 votes. Howard said that's what he was waiting for.
We heard a news report about Howard's win as the Libertarian party candidate. They had some audio of some of the people at the convention talking about that win and what it might mean to their party. Howard was also heard talking about what he would be doing if he wins the election.
We heard from current day Howard talking about how he was going up and up in the polls as this process went along. He said he thinks he could have won if he had stuck with it. They went to break after that.
We heard a show clip where Howard and Robin were talking about a Saturday Night Live where they did a sketch about him. He said he knew ahead of time they were doing it but he forgot to mention it on the air. He said Michael McKean played him on the show. Howard said the sketch was really funny and he thought Michael was really good. The woman playing Robin was good and Adam Sandler playing Gary was funny too. Howard and Robin talked about that bit for a few minutes. Howard said he got a call from Dan Forman telling him to turn on Saturday Night Live. He was all worked up telling him he was going to miss it if he didn't tune in fast enough.
Howard talked about how Michael McKean must have written the bit because it was so funny. That led into the SNL sketch he was talking about. They were making fun of Howard's run for governor and had a woman playing Robin who took over the press conference they were holding. Michael McKean played Howard and Phil Hartman was playing Mario Cuomo. The woman playing Robin kept laughing through the whole sketch just like Robin would do. Some people in the audience were yelling out ''Stern rules!'' and stuff like that. The Howard character burped over Cuomo's speech and he ended up talking over him. McKean was doing a great impression of Howard in the sketch. He even plugged Snapple which was one of Howard's sponsors back then. Adam Sandler played Gary. Sarah Silverman was one of the reporters in the sketch.
After that we heard Jesse Ventura talking about the run for governor. Jesse said that you have to shake the celebrity status when you run for office like that. He said that there are more positives than negatives to running. He said he was a mayor before he was governor but he was always referred to as a wrestler. He said that it's a constant battle to balance all of that.
Christy Whitman talked about how if Howard did something like this today it would be very different. We heard from George Pataki and he was saying that he took Howard very seriously at the time. He said he knew he had the support of many people and if they had split the vote then who knows what would have happened. Al D'Amato talked about how Howard was polling at least 5 percent of the vote and if he had actually run then Pataki wouldn't have won. He said that Cuomo would have won. We also heard from Ben Stern about the run for governor. He said he loved the whole thing.
They played a show clip where Howard played a commercial that they were going to run for him during this election. They had quotes from people talking about how they weren't going to vote for him no matter what. There were people saying he was disgusting and a pervert. They had nothing but negative comments about him in that commercial. One guy said he would leave the country if he became governor. Howard said that was the first of many political commercials they were going to run.
We heard from Ludwig Vogel who was saying that they were worried about some of the stuff that they were worried about going on if Howard had won. Don Buchwald said that they wouldn't be able to have Howard as governor and being on a radio at the same time. Christy Whitman talked about that as well. Ludwig said they felt that Howard was going to bail when they asked him to make a financial disclosure statement.
They played another show clip where Howard said that he was going to be driven out of the race after reading an article in the paper. He said that they're saying that they may have to look into his campaign because people have been complaining. Robin gave him the details of that and how they're worried that the time Howard spends on the air might be considered commercial time so they may say that he violated some laws. Howard didn't get what the big deal was and why they were giving him a hard time about this. Robin said they were going to make him file a financial disclosure statement too. Howard said that they can keep on dreaming because he's not going to do that. Howard said they should be worried about themselves and no so much about him. Howard said he pays his taxes and they shouldn't be worried about him.
After that we heard Robin talking about Howard's jump into politics and how he found out they play hard ball in politics. They immediately came after Howard and asked for all kinds of things that Howard wasn't going to agree to do. Robin said it wasn't going to be funny or fun if he had to run around like a real politician.
We heard from Ratso Sloman who said Howard was getting into this whole thing but then it became a serious thing and the financial statement thing just ended it. We heard Jesse Ventura talking about how he never had to do a financial disclosure. He said he just had to show he didn't have conflict of interest. He said he thinks Howard should have done it because it would have shoed he couldn't be bought off. Jackie talked about how funny it was they were taking this so seriously. He said Howard was running on the platform that he wanted to fill the potholes in New York with the dead from the electric chair. He said they were nuts for asking for a financial statement.
They played another show clip where Howard was talking about the financial disclosure statement and how there's no way he would sign something like that. Howard said he's not taking any contributions and he's not going to do that disclosure thing. Howard said he doesn't want people to know what he's making and doesn't need people thinking he's not making enough or making too much.
We heard from Howard about the disclosure thing and how it became too much for him. Don Buchwald said that Howard has always kept that stuff quiet and they didn't want to go through with something like a financial disclosure. He said they hired a lawyer who handled that stuff and he thinks that the bills got up to about the $50,000 range and Howard dropped out. Howard said he should have dropped out immediately when he heard about the financial disclosure. Howard said it would have been great if he had been elected. We heard Robin talking about how Howard didn't want anything to do with that. She said that Howard was terrified of the thought of winning.
We heard another show clip where Howard made a speech to the press about dropping out of the race. Howard gave his reasons for dropping out and said he had no idea he was going to have to disclose his finances. He said he thought that it meant that he had to disclose who he was doing business with. He didn't know he was going to have to disclose his personal finances. Howard said he's never going to tell anyone how much money he makes. He said he's told people about everything in his life except for his finances. Howard said he will keep it that way and never tell anyone what he makes because it's none of their business. Howard said that he lost the battle to deny the financial disclosure thing so he had to drop out of the race for governor.
Howard said that there have been other people who have tried to get out of doing something like that but he knows that they would go after him for it so he's not going to try it. He said that it's a conspiracy to keep good people out of the race. Penny Crone was telling Howard that they all know that he's a millionaire. Howard said that he has seen reports about what he makes but they're untrue. He said he's resigning from the campaign and will instead run for Pope.
We heard a news report about Howard dropping out of the race. Then we heard from Tom Chiusano about how much fun the campaign was. He said he knew that Howard would never tell anyone what he was making. Artie Lange talked about how he and his buddies wanted to vote for Howard but they didn't even live in New York. He also talked about how much fun they had going along with that campaign.
They played a show clip where Howard took a call from a reporter who said that Howard was lying about the financial disclosure. The guy said that Howard wouldn't have had to make it public and the numbers would have remained private. Howard said he had to reveal all kinds of things in that statement and he didn't want to do that. Howard tried to explain it to the guy but the reporter was telling him he was a liar and just another typical politician. Howard said he will never reveal his net worth like they wanted him to. The reporter said he didn't have to do that. Howard said he did. He went back and forth with the guy arguing for a few minutes. The reporter said they wouldn't be able to figure out exactly what he's worth. Howard said they could get close enough.
We heard from Don Buchwald who was saying that this was a real thing and Howard had a perspective. He said that Howard couldn't afford to be governor and he couldn't afford to be an agent for the governor.
They played a show clip where Howard said he thinks he would have won and he could have been the next governor of New York. He and the guys were talking about the election and what they think would have happened.
We heard from Ronnie the Limo Driver who said that Howard could have won. People from New York loved him. Jesse Ventura said he thinks he could have won too. Jesse said he just had to prove he was dead serious that he wanted to win and that it wasn't just a bit he was doing. Joe Brennan and Ludwig Vogel also talked about what they thought would have happened. Joe said maybe in a parallel universe he stayed in and won. Ludwig said they had a hell of a good time and a hell of a good run while it happened. Stan Dwarkin also talked about the run and how he was never asked to leave the ballot. He said he stayed on the ballot and it was a lot of fun for him. He said he doesn't regret it for a second. He said he had more than his 15 minutes of fame.
We heard from Howard who said he still thinks he could have won. He said it would have been great if he had won too. He said it would have added more credibly to the radio show too. He said it was probably best that he dropped out. He said he's not sure how that would have gone for the State of New York if he had won.
They played another show clip where Mark Harris sang a song about Howard's run for governor. Howard said he had no idea what he was singing about. He told Mark he puts the ho in homo. Mark continued to sing and Jackie was throwing paper at him the whole time. Howard said Mark was putting up with it and kept singing while Jackie threw the paper. Howard let him finish his song and then had Billy West doing his impression of Mark singing. They went to break a short time later.
That led to Jim Forbes bringing up Gilbert Gottfried being on the show as a regular back then. We heard Howard talking about some of Gilbert's funny stories and how he had been in the hospital with a burst appendix and no one was even reporting about it in the paper. Howard said he went over to see Gilbert at the hospital to visit. He said he never really had any personal contact with him until then. He said Gilbert's mother and sister were there and he wasn't speaking to them. they didn't even talk to him when he showed up. Howard said Gilbert was acting very real and it was a very strange thing.
We heard Gilbert talking about that visit and how Howard's disguise was hiding his hair under a baseball cap. He said he's pretty frightening when that hair is hidden from his face. Gilbert joked about how he wanted to ask Howard for a car when he offered to do anything for him. Gilbert said he knows Howard said he was going to give up show business but he doesn't remember doing that. Howard talked about how cheap Gilbert was and how they have a lot of stories about that. He said the guy is really funny though.
They played a show clip where Robin was doing her news and Gilbert Gottfried was sitting in. Gilbert ended up singing some Hebrew song while Robin was doing one story. Gilbert went on and on for a couple of minutes singing that song. He had Howard laughing. Howard asked him to sing it in his parrot voice as a Hebrew parrot. He did that singing quite a bit and then broke into some other stuff that had Howard and the guys cracking up. Robin tried to go on with her news but Gilbert kept going.
They played a clip of Howard speaking to Tiny Tim and Tiny was going off on Howard about Jesus. Howard ended up trying to speak to Jesus and pray to him but Tiny got upset with that and said he despises that. Howard prayed to Jesus and Tiny got upset he was making fun of him. Howard was surprised that Tiny was so upset with him. Tiny said he would give him a plug and that would make him feel better. Tiny said that wouldn't make it better. Tiny didn't like Jesus' name being taken in vain. Howard said maybe he should report him to the FCC. Tiny and Howard went back and forth on that for a few minutes. Howard blamed Robin. Tiny said it wasn't her fault, it was Howard.
We heard from current day Howard talking about what a great guest Tiny Tim was on the show. He said they lost a great guy when he passed away. Howard said the guy didn't want to have heart surgery even though the doctors warned him that he was going to die of a heart attack.
They played another show clip where Howard had Tiny back on the show after a 5 year absence. Howard said they kept trying to get him back on but he was upset with them about something he had said. Howard said Tiny came back and he told them that they could talk about anything with him this time. Howard had Tiny come in and talked to him about that 5 years since he was last on. Tiny thanked them for having him back on the show. Howard said they wanted him to come back. Tiny said he felt he had to stay away from the show. Tiny said he didn't think he should be on the show.
Tiny told Howard that he remembers Gary having hemorrhoids the last time he was on the show and he think that he knows why he had them. Tiny talked about what Gary could do to change his diet to keep his movements from getting too gummed up. He said that once the hemorrhoids are gone then he should use cold cream on them. Tiny said that after all of that he should use Pazo. He said it's made by Bristol Myers and it can be used after a system is cleansed. He said he puts that on his finger and gently puts that on. He talked about using Charmin toilet paper and a certain type of soap. He said he uses Jergin's body shampoo. He said it's like a soap but you don't need soap. He said he does three lathering's a day. Howard said he is one clean dude. Howard said Tiny lotions and stuff too. Tiny said he's been using an Oil of Olay lotion on his face and that keeps his skin looking good. Howard said Tiny sure spends a lot of time cleaning. Tiny said he spends a lot of time cleaning himself and his apartment. He even brings plastic utensils to restaurants to use for himself. He said that they're sanitary when metal utensils are not. Tiny also told Howard that his book was great and very well written. He said whoever the writer was did a great job. Howard asked if he thought he wasn't capable of writing that book.
After that they played a Tonight Show clip where Howard announced he has signed a movie deal to make his book ''Private Parts'' into a feature film. The crowd cheered when they heard that. Jay asked Howard who the deal was with. Leno said the last time he was there he announced two movie deals and a possible talk show. Howard said he never said he was going to do that talk show deal. Howard said he met with about 10 different studios and sat down with David Kirkpatrick who was the former head of Disney and Paramount. Howard said David started a film company called Rysher and they bought the rights to his book and they're going to make a movie out of it.
We heard current day Howard talking about how he never thought the book was going to be the basis for a movie but he was glad he did the movie. We heard from Ratso Sloman who said that he was afraid that the script was doomed from the beginning because the guy they had writing it was a gay guy. Howard said they went through a lot of scripts and they had a lot that were either too serious or too goofy. He said they weren't sure what to do with it. Don Buchwald said that he was the bad guy telling them that all of the scripts were bad. He said they turned down 27 drafts of that script. He said he told Howard he just couldn't do those scripts. Howard said Don has an amazing ability to turn things down and he can cultivate and grow a career.
Jim Forbes said that the production of the movie started even without a script. That led into a clip from the show where Howard was talking about how they wanted him to grow a moustache so they could go back in time. He said they went through all of his hair styles and they're going to have to have 8 different styles. Howard said they're going to have every look he's had in the movie. Howard said they wanted him to cut his hair so they could use wigs on him. Howard said he's not going to cut his hair though. Ralph said there's no way he's going to cut his hair. Howard said that's true and he won't be cutting it.
They played a news clip where they reported on some casting for the movie. They were casting for the part of a young Howard Stern.
That went into a show clip where Howard talked about the casting. Howard said some people thought it was a publicity stunt but it wasn't. He said that they had some kids audition and they were really looking for kids. He said they're looking for unknown kids and not famous kids. Howard said he saw his father being interviewed and he was saying he knew he was going to be in the entertainment field. Howard said his father was the last one to know he was going to be in that field so he's kind of rewriting history. Howard told Robin some stories about how his dad really treated him as he was growing up.
Howard's mother, Ray, called in sand said she heard him berating his father so she wanted to call in. Ray said that his father knew that he wanted to be in radio and he did help point him in the right direction. She said that he was trying to help him and he doesn't seem to see that. Howard talked about some of the stuff his father made him do and how it worked out for him. Howard and his mom went back and forth arguing about things he claimed happened to him in his childhood. Billy West was doing an impression of Ray and she told him that she didn't give permission to be imitated. Billy kept it going for a few lines though.
Robin was saying that Ray has this rosy view of what happened to Howard and she has no idea what his childhood was really like. Ray said everyone thinks that they can analyze her. Billy did more of his impression and goofed on her some more. She said she thinks she's had enough. Howard told his mom that he was a geek in school but she didn't believe that. Ray said Howard always wanted to be on radio and he always said that. Ray said that she and his father supported him the whole way. Robin said that Howard has always said that. Ray got off the phone when she heard Billy doing her voice again. Howard wondered if his mother was completely out of the loop. Robin said she doesn't seem to be with reality and she only sees things her way.
We heard from Howard talking about how they went through all of these scripts for his movie and it was very tough to find something. Don Buchwald said he thinks he had Fred write something for him. Fred said that he never did and maybe Don is thinking of someone else. Jim Forbes said maybe he was thinking of Ratso Sloman because Ratso did write some stuff for him. Ratso talked about what he had written and gave the details of what he had written.
They played another show clip where Howard talked about working with some people on the movie like John Avildsen. Howard said he's really excited to be working with that guy. Howard talked about some of the movies that John had worked on and there were some big films in there like ''Karate Kid.'' He said he thinks it'll be one of the greatest collaborations of all time.
We heard Howard talking about how Rysher was in a rush to make this movie and they wanted them to use one of the scripts they had. Don Buchwald said that Howard had never been in the movie industry before so he didn't know better. Don said that if he had done a bad movie then it would have affected the radio show.
They played a show clip where Howard was talking to a caller about the movie and how he had to turn down script after script. Howard said he just has to do something right in his career. Howard said he wanted to just do a movie and get it out of the way as doing something in his career. Then he had to grab a hold of himself and snap out of it. They went to break after that.
They played that show clip where Howard was talking to Siskel and Ebert and talked to Ebert about his weight gain and how he lies about it. Ebert said the last time they weighed him they had a rigged scale and there was no way he weighed as much as they said he did. They went over that and Howard told Roger to get on the scale. Roger got on it and said even Howard weighed 18 pounds more than he thought he did. Roger came in at 263 pounds.
We heard from Fran Shea who said that the taping of the show didn't affect the radio show at all. She said that the test was good and they were all fascinated with what they saw. She said it was interesting too and that was that.
They played another show clip where Howard announced that he was going to be doing this E! show every night. Howard said the TV guys had lights on in the studio and he had to put on his sunglasses. That led to Ralph coming in and talking about putting make up on him. Howard said Ralph might be gay and doesn't even know it. Jackie said he does do some strange things like put his fingers through his hair that makes it look very gay.
Gary told Howard he had Claudia Puig from the Los Angeles Times on the phone to listen to this while they do it. Howard got her on the phone and went on to talk about how he really is going to be the King of All Media. Howard said he has signed a movie deal, he did the books, the radio show and now he's got something else in the works. Howard said everyone wants him and he's conquered all. Howard asked Claudia if she thinks that anyone else could go on TV and do what he did. Howard asked about Tom Cruise, Arnold Schwarzenegger and other stars who might be able to pull something big off. No one else can do what he's doing. Howard said that it occurred to him that he needed a new announcement after the film deal. Howard said they are proud to announce a new TV project that will be exciting for the radio fans.
Howard said the show will be called ''Howard Stern on the Air.'' Howard said he wants to call it the Howard Stern Radio Show on Television. Howard said the show will be on E! TV and what will happen is every night they will have a half hour of the show. Howard said they will be airing 6 nights a week. He said they're going to show highlights of the day's show. He said that they will have some great TV shows that will show what the guests look like.
Ben and Ray Stern talked about the TV show and how they never think these things are going to happen but they always do. Ray said that Howard really is the King of All Media. Ben Stern said that there isn't much left for Howard to do.
Richard Belzer said that a lot of people are called the king of something but Howard has really done all of these things like radio, movies, TV and books. He said that Howard will always be regarded as one of the kings.
They played a news report about the new TV show and then we heard from Gary about how Howard announced the new TV show to them. Gary said they were in a tiny studio and wondered how they were going to get cameras in there. Gary said Howard didn't want to mess up things with people in the mix so they were worried about that. They ended up using robotic cameras in the studio.
They played another show clip where Howard was talking about the robot cameras and how they didn't have room for cameramen in the studio. Howard said one of the cameras was the size of a light bulb. He said it was perfect because it was so small and it had great quality. Howard said they had one camera that swings around the whole room. Howard said they control it all in another room and that's kind of cool.
Current day Gary talked about how they could hear the cameras when they first started out but they got used to it pretty quickly. Robin said it was kind of intrusive in the beginning. Howard used to complain about them because they were so distracting. She said he got used to it though and so did she. Gary said he liked the cameras because they showed the kind of stuff he had to deal with.
John Reiber talked about how they had to balance making the TV show and not disrupt the radio show. He said that they were told that they could be thrown out on a day's notice if they did cause any problems.
Jim Forbes said that they've had the E! show team with the show since then. That led to Scott DePace talking about how he got hired to do the show. He started as the robotics camera operator and then a few months later he ended up being the director.
Doug Goodstein said he had sent a resume in the mail and he didn't even know that they were developing this show with Howard. He said he was working at ABC news at the time but he was bored. He said he hoped to get something where he'd have some fun. then he got a call from Scott Einziger who he knew. He said that they were developing this Howard Stern Show on E! and one thing led to another and he got the job.
Jim Forbes said that they ran the E! show from June of 1994 for 11 years. Don Buchwald said that they've had many wonderful relationships in the industry and that one was the best it could have been. He said that Fran Shea was great and she bought into the mystique of the show and it worked out very well.
John Reiber said that the show made great TV and it didn't matter it was in the radio studio. He said it was compelling TV.
Fred Norris said that it was no different for him with or without cameras in the room. He said that they make other people nervous but not him. He said he had other things to work on that kept his attention off the cameras.
Robin said that someone said that only Howard could ruin radio and make them worry about what they had to look like in the mornings.
They played a show clip from the first day they started filming the E! show during the radio show. Howard was talking to Robin about how good she looked. Howard pointed out all of the cameras and talked about what they were going to be doing. Howard had to put on his sunglasses so people wouldn't see what he looks like. Howard went over the cameras and tried to figure out where they all were. He thought it was kind of cool and said they weren't really obtrusive at all. Robin said the lighting was different and kind of strange but other than that it wasn't so bad.
Howard said he didn't know how annoying the show was going to be. He said he has to show up looking good. He has Ralph coming in to do his make up every morning. Howard said he has to pick out his clothes at night too. Howard ended up going off on Ralph for not calling him the night before to tell him what to wear. Ralph came in and said that Howard is the retard because he called him twice. He told Ralph that he's not going to be on the show every day and he wants him gone early in the morning. Howard said that Howard might be there for the first week but then he's out the door.
We heard Ralph talking about how he wasn't allowed to hang out around the station all morning long. He said that people got annoyed at him for hanging out and Mel Karmazin had complained about it or something so he had to get out of there early.
Jon Reiber said that he had worked all night long to get the first episode on the air. He said that Ralph actually showed up to bring the tape to Howard personally so they could get it approved. Five hours later they were on the air with that first show. Scott DePace said they didn't mess with the show too much in the first 6 months. After that they started to shoot stuff in the halls and went out shooting Stuttering John stuff. He said they had a nice synergy eventually. Gary said that the one thing they wanted was to capture who they were and not change anything.
Scott the Engineer said that things didn't change right away because the cameras were just in the studio. He said later on it became everything was the show. Scott said the show got really popular and they were on all around the country. Scott said that they went from being a local show to being on all around the country in a few short years. It worked out great too.
Jackie said that it worked out phenomenally for them. He said everyone learned what they looked like and people started to recognize them around the country. He said he went to a place in New Orleans and this waiter knew who he and his wife were from seeing them on E!. Jackie said that stood out in his mind because he realized how big they were getting. Jackie said it was fun too.
Scott DePace said that everyone in Delaware wanted to know if Howard was really the way he appeared to be. He said the show looked to be larger on TV than they knew. He said that place they worked in was disgusting and he knew what it really was like. He said that place should have been burned.
Fran Shea said that they saw how interesting Howard could be and it was just fascinating to see the show. Lee Masters from E! talked about how huge of a following Howard had and how they wondered if the fans would tune in to see it. He said the fans wanted to see the juicy stuff that was happening every day. With Howard there was nothing comparable.
Flavor Flav said Howard was the beginning of reality TV. He said that he had people doing interviews there and no one else was doing a reality show. Howard's show as reality and he really did start it. Flavor said that he might be the end of it himself.
They played a show clip where Howard was talking about the popularity of the E! show and how he knew it would be big. He talked about his failed FOX deal and how that went down. Howard said he had the idea to do this with FOX but they turned him down. Howard said they could have just put it on to see what happened but they didn't want to. They wanted something new. Robin said they're probably kicking themselves now.
Alec Baldwin talked about doing the show one time and saw himself show up on E!. He said he had no idea that he was recorded that day. Alec said no one told him that he was going to be filmed for the TV show. Alec said he was wearing sunglasses in the studio and had no idea that he was being filmed. Alec said he looked like a complete asshole in that piece.
They played that interview with Alec after that. Howard was talking to Alec about the big cigar he came in with. Howard talked to Alec about having sex with a girl in a swimming pool one time and how poorly that worked out. Howard also talked about what he would do to Kim Bassinger if he could have her. He said he would use one of Alec's cigars if his penis size wasn't big enough.
We heard Doug Goodstein talking about how they taped everything they could at the show. They were filming in the office, Stuttering John interviews and stuff like that. Doug said they had a lot of audio that was used on the radio show. Scott DePace said that there were cameras in the halls and people were excited about that. Once that wore off they became friends and it was a good working relationship. Gary said that it was easy to disregard the cameras and he was eventually able to not give a shit.
Mike Gange said there was a lot of competition to be on camera and people were figuring out ways to get on camera in the studio. He said that everyone wanted to be on TV. Steve Grillo said it was a whole other affair once the cameras got in there. Grillo said that they had the embarrassing shit on TV and they could see naked chicks on the monitors in the E! booth. Steve said they started getting recognized on the streets and stuff. He said he still gets recognized for that today.
Jackie talked about how the E! show wasn't really representative of the radio show. He said they took clips that were made to grab someone's attention for 22 minutes. Fred said that they didn't really do a lot just for the TV show when they started out because they were a radio show first. He said that they may have dressed it up a little bit but it was a radio show first and they were there to entertain. They ended the show a short time later, right around 12:15pm.
They played a show clip where Howard had the guys get right into their song. The guys thought it was going to be their next big song. Howard set them up with some echo and they went right into the song ''The Boy with Horse Teeth.''
After the song we heard the guys from America talking about playing on the show and how big of a reach they had playing on the Stern Show. They said that they had a lot of people coming up to them and saying they heard them on the show after that.
Jim Forbes said the guy splayed their song at the Cleveland funeral. That led into a show clip where Howard was doing a press conference for Cleveland. He was telling the press what a genius he is and how he was proud and honored to be accepted by them there.
We heard from Jackie about that trip and how fun it was for them. Jackie said it was a big deal to become number one in a city like that.
They played a news report about Howard's visit to Cleveland. They reported about how excited his friends were. They had some audio from that press conference they played in that news report.
Jim Forbes said the Cleveland funeral was well known for some technical problems. We heard from Fred and Howard about how they had people cut the wires at the funeral and the person was from a competing station. Howard said he felt very powerful after that because of all of the hubbub they caused. Robin talked about how it's a much more personal thing in the smaller markets. She said they were invading their territory there and they went to war. They got someone worked up so much that they went out and cut the wires to stop the broadcast. That just made for a great show.
Gary talked about how they had driven around to different locations and it was a tough set up for the vehicle they had to drive around in. Gary said they didn't know what happened that day when their signal was cut off.
That led into the final few minutes of the show from the day their wires were cut. Howard was talking to Robin about what was going on that day. Then they were hijacked and someone got on the air and said ''fuck off'' over their broadcast a couple of times. Then the signal cut out and eventually got cut out completely when the wires were cut.
We heard from Fred about how mind blowing it was to him that they would do something like that. Scott the Engineer said they asked him what happened and he had no idea. He said he got the blame even though he had nothing to do with it. Scott said he was amazed that they pulled off the thing the way they did. Gary said he could see the way Howard's head was spinning and he told them to stop worrying about what went wrong and just get him back on the air. They ended up having Howard call into the station back home and had him on the air via phone. Fred and Robin spent a few seconds talking about that and how crazy things had gotten. Robin said it was actually great.
Tom Chiusano said he thinks they got Howard back on over a cell phone before they figured out what had happened and got that fixed. Tom said that they were very focused on what had gone on and they got it fixed. Gary said he remembers everyone being dressed up in army outfits because they were supposed to be at war with these people. He said they looked ridiculous but he remembers Howard saying that they were under attack while they were at war. Gary said Howard managed to turn things around and it was one of the best moments in the history of the show.
They played a show clip where Howard got on the phone and called into the station to get back on the air. Tom Chiusano told him he was back on the air. Howard didn't hear him at first but eventually got on. He told Tom what they were up to and how they were sabotaged by WMMS. He explained what happened and what they were going to be doing. He canceled an appearance on a TV station out there and said they were going to try and counter attack this attack on them. Robin said it showed how weak the other station was because they weren't able to beat them on the radio. They had to cut their lines to try and get back at them. Howard said their broadcast will not be stopped and they will be back live and not on the phone.
We heard from Tom and Scott again about what was going on back then when they were taken off the air. Scott said it was just amazing for the show.
They played another show clip where Howard was back on his cell phone talking about how they were ready to go outside and some guy from a competing station came over and cut their wire to the satellite truck. Howard said what's great about that is that they're busy worried about their show while they have crap programming of their own. Howard said it made him want to do an even better show now. Howard said he heard that the guy who did it was arrested. Gary said he heard it was the chief engineer of the competing station... allegedly. Robin said they want to see him do time for that. Howard said they will not be defeated and they are having the lines spliced together as they speak. Howard said he was talking to Program Director Doug Podell the night before and he had a feeling they were going to be sabotaged. Gary gave Howard an update on the arrest and that they were working on getting the wires fixed.
Howard got off the phone and started to address the audience thinking he was back on the air. They didn't get the signal back on right away though. They eventually switched back over to the show mics and got him back on the air. David Lee Roth was there so Howard spoke to him about what was going on at the time.
We heard from current day Fred who was talking about how they had David Lee Roth come on and sing a couple of songs and it was like the other station didn't get away with what they were trying to do. We heard Tom Chiusano talking about what a pain in the ass it was at the time. It was like giving Howard a reason to make it even bigger than it was.
They played more of the Cleveland broadcast where David Lee Roth finished up his songs and Howard got back on stage to the cheers of the crowd. Howard said they were there to thank everyone for making them number 1. Howard said he couldn't thank them enough. He said the other stations can try to pull the plug but they have no talent and they can't replace what they have on his show. Howard said you can't steal a dude's personality. Howard told the crew to come out and take a bow. He thanked them and thanked the station they were on in Cleveland at the time.
We heard a news report about the funeral and what had gone on there that day. They reported about the wires being cut and how the guy arrested was from a competing station. They reported about the guy repeating swear words over their air. They reported that a 30 year old man was arrested for cutting the wires and he was from a competing station. They took him away by boat so he didn't have to go through the crowds. One guy claimed he taped the guy's confession to the police.
They played another show clip where Howard talked about the news story and how the cutting of that line was a federal offense. Howard said it shows how powerful they are as a show. He said that they go to a station and someone has to cut the lines to get them off the air. Howard wondered if they're so lame they really have to do that instead of doing good radio. Howard said it's stupid ass radio guys.
We heard current day Fred talking about how those guys didn't get that much of a punishment. He said that the judge gave them a slap on the wrist but they should have been shot in his opinion.
They played another news story where they reported about the guy who cut the wires just getting 10 days in jail and a $1,000 fine. The judge said that they had no right to cut Howard Stern off of the air because of the right to free speech.
Fred talked about how justice is supposed to be blind but it's apparently deaf too. He said that it's pretty simple to figure out and they obviously committed a crime. He said if the judge agrees with what they did or not shouldn't matter. Fred said he doesn't think that guy did right.
They played another show clip where Howard's father, Ben, called in and said that the judge was basically condoning what the guy did. He was upset about that. Ben said that it shouldn't have mattered who it was on the air and he shouldn't have let him off the way he did. Ben said it's a bunch of nitwits in this case. He said the judge shouldn't have let him off the way he did. Howard said they only gave the guy 10 days. Howard said the judge shouldn't be talking about the victim and understanding what the guy did. Howard said no one bothers to say anything about the fact that they let the guy off and the judge bad mouthed the victim. Howard said it's because it's him. If it was anyone else they would have complained.
We heard from Alec Baldwin who was saying that Howard is very skilled at what he does. He said that some people like Letterman, Shandling and Howard are three that are going to blow you away if you get into a verbal battle. He said that Howard can gut you and Shandling is like that too. He said Letterman is as well. Alec said when he did the show he was afraid that he was going to be hurt and asked Howard not to do that. He said Howard would do a little bit of that because he can't help himself. They went to break after that.
That led to them playing a show clip where Howard spoke to the guy who made that call to the station and did his prank call where he said he was a witness to the OJ Simpson chase. The guy said he could hear them yelling in the background to get him on the air as soon as possible. Howard said it shows that they don't check their sources. Howard said Gary is able to screen calls better than these people are. Howard said everyone was in a state of confusion at the time. The caller told Howard the details of his call and how he got on the air as ''Robert Higgins'' and told them he was right across the street from OJ.
We heard Jackie talking about how the mother of that guy who made that call had come up to him one time and he said that was the single greatest call they had ever had on the show. Jackie said his mother was very proud of her son and he told her that it was the greatest call of all time. Howard said it was one of the best calls ever and anyone would laugh at that. He said it showed how little the anchor men listened to their own interviews. Howard said it's a perfect bit because it was great promotion for the show and it pointed out that anchors don't listen to their guests.
Robin said she loves that call and now she kind of feels bad for Peter Jennings now that he's no longer with us. She said that this guy was saying the most ridiculous things and Peter obviously wasn't paying attention. She said she has heard the call over and over and over and she loves hearing Al Michaels coming on and saying that it was a ''totally farcical call.''
They played a clip from a show where a caller asked Al Michaels what was going through his mind at the time that the call was made. Al said that he didn't know what was going on until the reference to the Stern Show. Al said that he got on and let Peter know that it was a totally farcical call.
Gary said that everyone who listens to the show knew it was a fake call after the first three words. Gary said that every time you hear that call you pick up on new stuff. He said the whole thing was so ridiculous and Peter Jennings didn't pick up on it so that makes it all that much better.
They played more of the show where Howard played the audio of that prank call the guy made during the Peter Jennings report about OJ. This guy got on and did an awful black impression and said he could see OJ slouching down. Howard said everyone knew it was a prank call. He said his father knew it was a prank as soon as the guy started to speak. Howard played more of the call and ''Robert Higgins'' was talking about how OJ was lookin' very nervous in his Bronco. Howard wondered if Peter had never spoken to a black man in his life. He said that voice this guy was doing was obviously fake. The guy went on to say he could see OJ and he looked scared. Then he says ''and Baba Booey to y'all...'' Peter Jennings had no idea what he had heard. He keeps reporting on what's going on and then Al Michaels gets on and tells him that it was a totally farcical call and it was a reference to a morning radio show. As soon as Billy West heard Al's line he started to do an impression of him responding. Billy was goofing on Peter Jennings and telling him that it wasn't a ''real Negro'' on the phone. Billy said that he should have been running for his life as soon as he heard ''now lookie here...''
We heard Gary talking about how it was one of the most brilliant phony phone calls ever done. He said it was brilliant on so many levels and at one time they were performing the call on the air.
That led into the show clip where Howard and the guys acted out the transcripts of the phony phone call. Howard said he wanted a little bit of noise in the background as he did the call. He said Billy was anxious to play Al Michaels in the call. Fred played some race car sounds in the background as the audio that was in the background. Howard read the transcript as Peter Jennings and then he takes the call from ''Robert Higgins'' who was played by Robin in this reenactment of the call. Howard was playing Peter Jennings and Billy West was Al Michaels. Howard gave everyone applause for the way they pulled off the reenactment. Howard said the role of Al Michaels was stellar.
Gary came in and told Howard that they had the real Mr. Higgins on the phone. The guy was known as ''Mr. Higgins'' since that's the name he used when he called in. The guy said that everyone who he knows thinks he should get some kind of residual of some kind. Howard said if he had released it on CD he could make a killing. Howard said he obviously enjoyed that performance. Howard let him go after that.
We heard from current day Howard talking about how they had OJ on the show and they had audio clips from that appearance to play on the show. Howard said when you do a contemporary show you can respond to things like that. He said you have to put yourself into those controversies or the show isn't relevant. Howard said they were key moments in the show history. Howard said it was perfect for radio. Howard said he remembers listening to radio when he was kid and no one would give their opinions. He said that's what they should have been doing.
We heard from Quentin Tarantino who was talking about the moments of the show he likes. Quentin said that the funniest moments are lines he says and they're not even whole routines. He said that Howard might turn something into a 45 minute routine but you don't remember all of it. He said you might remember a whole interview but it's the immediacy of the moment that's really cool.
That led into a show clip where Robin was talking about the OJ Simpson trial and how they were picking a jury pool. Howard was doing his Judge Ito impression and when Robin mentioned something about the Jury pool being tainted, Jackie interrupted and laughed at the word ''taint.'' Howard said Jackie is back there doing his own show. Jackie was very amused with that word. Robin was very distracted so they'd just yell out ''taint!'' in the middle of the story to get Jackie going again. Howard said the taint is the area between your butt and balls on a guy because t'aint your balls and t'aint your butt hole. Jackie said it's a very funny area. Howard said Robin got all caught up in it and couldn't move on. Howard said Jackie was doing a whole visual thing when he laughs at something like that. Howard said Jackie is like 50 years old and he's laughing at ''taint.''
Robin got back to her news and tried to move on but they were still doing the ''taint'' thing with Jackie. They were doing impressions of Jackie and playing many of his well known laugh audio clips. Robin got back to the story and tried to finish up but Howard and Fred were interrupting with Jackie clips and impressions.
We heard current day Howard talking about how he had gone on Letterman and did some OJ jokes and Letterman got mad at him for doing that. A week later Letterman was doing jokes himself. Howard said he wants that guy to be joked about because he's a buffoon and a character. Howard said it's a tragedy and all but he wasn't directing his jokes at those people. He was making fun of OJ.
We heard Jackie talking about how it wasn't funny that people were killed but it was the absurdity of the whole case that they were making fun of. Fred talked about how Letterman told Howard that double homicides aren't funny.
That led to them playing the audio from that Letterman show where Howard talked about OJ on the show and Dave told him that jokes about double homicide are not funny. Howard was wearing a t-shirt with OJ's face on it from Time magazine because it had been darkened in. Dave wasn't saying anything and wasn't joking about the case. Dave said double homicides just don't crack him up the way they used to.
Fred said it just takes some time and that stuff becomes funny. He said that we make fun of Hitler in ''Hogan's Heroes'' and things like that. Fred said comedy is pushing the envelope and sometimes taking a step over.
Robin said the whole OJ thing was just stupid and it was people saying they couldn't comment on this stuff because they were so politically correct. Robin said that we refuse to address some stuff and just let it fester under the surface.
They played a show clip where Howard called the OJ Simpson hotline number where they were taking information about the case if anyone had it. They were taking the calls at the office of Robert Shapiro. Howard said he has an idea of who did it and he wanted to leave a message. Howard got through to the voice mail and said he thinks that he has seen enough evidence to say that it was definitely OJ. He said it all points to one person, Orenthal James Simpson. He said he wants his half a million for that. Howard said first of all they say someone saw a black man around the house and it had to have been OJ. Howard said the only thing they're missing is a hunk of Nicole's neck in his wallet.
We heard from Fred about the OJ Simpson thing. He said they did find him innocent. Jackie talked about how OJ had come on the show and they had those sound bites to use on the show after that. Jackie said that all of them were gold after he killed his wife. Jackie said the whole thing was hard to believe. Jackie said it was very funny doing all of that and having so much fun with the OJ stuff and Billy West doing the Al Michaels impression.
They played a show clip where the guys talked about the OJ case and if they felt he was going to be found innocent. Robin said she thinks that he will be found innocent. Howard said he thinks he'll be convicted. Robin said the stuff that she was hearing made it seem that he was going to get off. Howard said there is a lot of leeway when it comes to collecting evidence. Robin said that they're saying that there were 116 instances of wrongdoing in the evidence collection. Gary said it was actually 16, not 116. Robin said there were leads they didn't follow up on too. She said that's why he's going to get off.
We heard from Tim Sabean about the OJ stuff and how Howard brought it into his show. Tim said the whole thing was mind boggling when OJ was released. He said it was amazing how it all played out.
That led into an old show clip where Howard played some OJ song parodies. He had one called ''Ol' Black OJ'' to the tune of ''Old McDonald.'' Jackie laughed his ass off the first time he heard that song.
We heard from Ronnie the Limo Driver next who said they used to have a guy sit in the studio wearing an OJ mask and he'd sit there mumbling stuff. That led into a show clip where Howard farted on mic and said he splashed into the mask. OJ Mask talked about how he used to beat his wife and stuff like that.
Scott the Engineer talked about OJ Mask and the other stuff they did on the show when they were talking about the OJ stuff. Scott said even to this day the saga continues with OJ.
They played a show clip where Howard played some interviews that Stuttering John did with some people out on the street. He asked some African American people what they thought about the OJ case so far. One guy said that it's always a frame and they're just trying to assassinate the man. The guy gave John some examples of people who had been framed. The guy also said that he doesn't know a man who hasn't slapped his woman. Howard said guys up in Harlem always beat their wives. He said that's why the cops are always up there. The guy John was interviewing said that the extent of the beating depends on the resistance the woman puts up.
We heard from Billy West who was saying that there is a joke in tragedy and it's human nature to make a joke about stuff like that. He said that's just what we do.
That led to a show clip where Howard was talking about ''Weekend at Bernies'' and how great it would be if they did that with OJ, Nicole and Ron. Fred was doing an impression of OJ ordering food for them. Howard said they could have done something like that with the channel 9 show if they still had it. They went through that for a few minutes.
We heard Billy West again talking about how he once did a thing on the show where he was mumbling like OJ may have done when he was put into a plastic cell during the trial. Billy said they had a lot of fun with all of the characters from that trial.
They played a show clip where Robin was reading about the OJ trial and Billy did his Judge Ito impression where he was asking a juror some questions. Judge Ito was telling the guy he had to leave and Howard, as the juror, was trying to figure out what he was saying.
Jackie said that they did so much stuff during that OJ trial. He said they had Gilbert on the show playing Dracula a lot. Gilbert said they had the idea to have him come in as Dracula and walk out on the street to interview black people to find out if they felt OJ was guilty. Gilbert said he was asking them, in his Dracula voice, if they believed that OJ had murdered his wife. He said that was one of his favorite moments that he wasn't killed in.
They played the audio from the show Gilbert was talking about. Gilbert was out on the street and ready to interview black people. Gilbert got some people to interview and he asked them about OJ while doing his Dracula impression. Some of the people were goofing on him by doing impressions of his Dracula. Howard wanted to bring him back up to the studio after a couple of interviews but he let him stay out a little longer. They went to break after that.
They played a show clip where Howard talked about coming on the show in a skirt if the Knick's win their game that night. Howard said that he will give Gary $500 too. He said if he loses the bet he'll come in dressed in that skirt and pay off his bets. Howard said he'll have Gary repeating stuff if he loses and he will be blasting fart's in his face. Gary said he'll do the same to him if he wins.
Gary said the Knick's lost and Howard built that whole thing up and he had to take his punishment. Ralph said they bought a bunch of stuff to make it all happen and they were filming it all. He said it really was the first reality show. Scott DePace said they were really looking forward to that morning and they made a trough of beans and anything else that would give Howard gas. He said they had this big build up and Howard could barely fart after all of that.
They played the show clip where Howard had Gary come in to take his farts from him. Howard had Gary bend down and then he ripped one fart in Gary's face. Howard tried to fart more but he wasn't able to get anymore farts out. Howard had a full minute to rip in his face but Gary wasn't speaking. He was holding his breath for 30 seconds at a time or so. Howard said that was allowed though. He had Gary repeating after him for a minute after that.
After that we heard Howard on Letterman talking about that bet with Gary and how it all went down. Howard said they could see it all on the E! show that night. Howard demonstrated to Dave what it would look like. Dave said ''Thank God I don't get the E! network...'' He told Howard he's a genius after that.
Scott DePace said they were always looking for a way to get the TV show more involved in the radio show so that's how the puppet thing came up. He said Fred used to do the voice of the Gary puppet. Fred talked about how they got the puppet from an audience member but he's not sure what inspired that. He said it was an inspired piece of work though. Fred said that it was like a work of art.
They played a show clip where Howard was showing off some stuff that the fans had sent into the show. He had a picture of what it was like to tune in and see the E! network every night. Howard said he had a new little puppet that a fan sent in. Howard said the puppet will be talking. Howard worked the puppet a little bit and did his Gary impression while doing it. Fred got a laugh out of that. Gary said the teeth looked like an Olympic ski jump. Howard said the lip should have been bigger. He had Gary hold it up to his face so he could see what it looked like. Howard had him opening his mouth so he looked more like the puppet. Howard told them that Fred would be working that puppet.
We heard from Fred about working the puppet and how Gary wasn't that happy about it. Gary said Fred would stick a big Sharpie in his mouth and that was one thing he did that pissed him off. He said he would move that Sharpie around in his mouth for different sounds too.
They played another show clip where Howard introduced the puppet again and worked it himself a little bit. Robin said that someone wrote in and said that Gary looks befuddled when he's on the E! show all the time. Howard said that's about right. He then handed the puppet over to Fred and told him to give it a try. Gary said that Fred is going to have to do that voice with a pen in his mouth. Howard handed Fred the puppet and had him doing the voice. Fred tried it but his voice was too clear. Fred stuffed some paper in his mouth instead of using the pen. Howard had Fred saying some lines that he threw out for him. He said he looked super doing it too.
We heard from Gary again who said that it was hard to fight back at a puppet. That led into another clip where they were playing with the Gary Puppet and goofing on Gary some more. They were throwing stuff at the puppet and goofing on Gary. Howard said Fred uses the puppet as a bat when they throw paper at it. Gary Puppet said he was like Pele with his face. Howard said he likes when Gary holds the puppet next to his face. Howard had Gary do it again so more people would see it that night. Howard was laughing his ass off and saying it was a great visual.
Next up we hard Fred talking about how they hooked that puppet up to Gary's squawk box so the mouth would move when Gary talked. Fred said that was his idea to do that working mouth thing. He said he would fall down every time he saw it moving.
They played another show clip where Howard talked about the puppet being a big hit on the show. Fred did some Gary Puppet voice work while Howard asked him some questions. Howard said the radio listeners even liked the puppet voice.
Gary talked about Rich starting on the show and how he didn't know he was gay at first. Mike Gange said that Rich was very honest about his life and what he was up to. Rich said he was willing to talk about just about anything on the show.
They played a show clip where Howard had Rich come into the studio so he could ask him some questions. Howard said he's a good looking guy and he's sad that he's gay because he could be getting women. Howard said he's a really nice guy. He said he talks to him out in the hall. Howard said he heard that Rich has a husband. Rich said he just calls him that but it's just a boyfriend. Howard said Rich has a sparkle in his eye that most gay guys have. He wondered what that is and how they get that. Robin said she's not sure she'd even ask him to help carry anything because he's so gay. Rich said he has had to carry some stuff and he doesn't like that.
Howard asked Rich if he's a catcher. Rich said he likes to pitch and receive. Howard asked how old he was. Rich said he's 21. He talked about the guy he dates and how he started to have gay sex when he was 17. He said he got to hang out with the gorgeous girls in school and that helped keep the jocks from bothering him. He said they were afraid of upsetting the girls so they'd leave him alone.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Rich about being gay and asking if he wanted to get a sex change operation. Rich said he's not going to do that. Howard asked a few more questions about being gay and then said he couldn't take it anymore and let him go.
After that we heard Rich talking about how people thought his first name was ''gay'' and they'd ask him questions like that was really his name. He said he loves what they did on the show and he still hears about it today. They went to break after that.
Howard told Robin that Fred ran off and got married and didn't give any consideration to the fact that he wouldn't have met her without him. Fred said that's not true and he does think about how Howard helped him find her. Howard said Fred didn't hassle anyone and just ran off and got married. Howard said he could have done it during the week while they were working so they could take a day off.
Fred told Howard he got married on the 10th and he had his mom and dad there and it was just a few people. He said his brother wasn't there. He said Alison's mom and sister were there and so was her grandmother. Fred said that he will have a party in October. Robin said she won't be there.
After that we heard current day Fred talking about how he didn't want to be so open and honest and free on the show because he didn't want a big deal made out of it. He said he wanted to have a small ceremony and that's what happened. He said he got a lot of crap from some people on the show. We heard from Robin after that. She said that she was shocked that he would do that. Robin said Howard was more concerned about missing a bachelor party, she was mad for missing the wedding.
They played a show clip where Howard talked about missing out on a bachelor party because of that. He said he will be holding one on Friday night whether or not Fred is there.
Jim Forbes said Howard was going to have the bachelor party in New Jersey but they ended up going to a new club in the city called Scores. Lonnie Hanover was there at the time so we heard from him about how they got started with the show. Lonnie said the club was very unique at the time because they had great food and a set up that was unique. We heard from Ronnie the Limo Driver about Scores and how great it was. Howard said it was a great place and Scores became really big from it. People from all over the country would go there after hearing about it on the show. Howard said Lonnie was the manager and he would roll out the red carpet for them. Howard said it became a whole thing and they'd have the girls on the show. He said it became a big place and some said it was like the Studio 54 of the 90s.
Jackie talked about how he loved going to that place. He said they'd have a great time there and he loved it. Ratso Sloman said that they had a great buffet spread there and it was an open bar when they'd do their parties. Ratso said that you'd have an hour or so and then Lonnie would come out and say ''The girls are here!'' and the girls would come out one by one and they were all ethnicities.
Steve Grillo said that Lonnie would have them there at Scores even when they weren't on the air. They'd go and hang out and Lonnie would treat them really well. Ratso talked about the Funny Money that they'd get and how Howard would get a huge wad while the other guys got just a little bit. He said Gary was in charge of the money and he'd hand it out to everyone.
We heard from Gay Rich who talked about how great Lonnie was with those parties. He said it was like a vacation for a straight man's penis. Lonnie Hanover said that Howard helped make that place huge. We also heard from Tom Arnold and how great Scores was. Gene Simmons also talked about what a big deal the place was.
They played a show clip where Howard was talking to the guys and making fun of Jackie about the sounds he makes. That led to Gary reading the list of people who were going to be going to Scores for the bachelor party. Gary ran down every name and filled Howard in on that.
We heard from Lonnie Hanover about the bachelor party and how it made history. Howard also talked about how they held it after Fred got married. they just needed an excuse to go to Scores. We heard quick clips from Stan Dwarkin, Steve Grillo, Gay Rich, Billy West, Mike Gange and Al Rosenberg about how great Scores was when they would go to those parties.
Jim Forbes said that not everyone remembers what happened that night. Fred doesn't remember the whole night. He said he remembers going there and having some hot chicks next to him. He said Dan Forman bought him some drinks and he wasn't even planning on drinking that day. Fred said he does drink but that night was a bad day to drink. He said that's the last thing he remembers.
Howard said that was a scary thing. Fred was into drinking a lot of alcohol very quickly. We heard from Scott the Engineer, Gay Rich, Steve Grillo, Ronnie, Gary and many other guys who were talking about how Fred was pounding down the drinks that day. Gay Rich said they were sitting together and he saw that Fred needed some help. He stepped up. The guys weren't sure what happened next. Howard remembered seeing Gay Rich on Fred's lap and wondering if he was gay himself. Howard said he didn't know what was going on so someone told him that Fred was drunk. Gay Rich said that he was asked to get into a thong so a couple of drinks later he did. Rich said he went over to Fred and kind of held him up on the seat. Rich said Fred was whispering to him and putting his head on his shoulder and stuff. Rich said he turned and saw Howard and everyone else staring at them.
Ronnie said Fred denies that it ever happened. Ralph said Rich was on Fred's lap like a little kid or like a girl and Fred was just zoned out and bombed. He said it was kind of funny at first but then it got a little creepy.
They played a show clip where Fred asked who put Gay Rich on his lap. He guessed it was Neil Drake. He was right. Howard said he tried to tell Fred what was going on and Fred just brushed him off. Gary said Rich was wearing a leopard skin thong and he was being mothering with him. Howard described what was going on there and said he's not sure what Fred was thinking. He said if he didn't stop it then Fred would be married to Rich now.
We heard current day Howard talking about how Fred fell on his faced down some steps that night. He said Fred could have been paralyzed or killed that night. Ronnie said that he was helping Fred move around that night shortly before he fell. He said he just blacked out and that was it. Steve Grillo said he remembers what happened and said he thought it was funny at one point. He said Fred just went limp and fell down the 3 or 4 steps right on his chin. He said he knew the party was over after that. Ralph talked about that fall too and said Fred wasn't moving and it became stuff of legend. Stan Dwarkin said he remembers telling the guys not to move Fred after he fell because they could have made it worse.
Ronnie said they tried to hold Fred up and he just fell when he passed out. They rolled Fred over on his back and he wasn't moving. Howard said one of the strippers was an EMT so she was working on him. Stan said it was a very strange experience. He said that it was odd that she was working on Fred. Billy West said the girl with the biggest boobs and ass was working on Fred trying to bring him back from the dead.
Ronnie said that all of the girls are training to be something. He said that was the first time he heard that a girl was going to be an EMT. Gay Rich talked about blood being everywhere and no one knew what to do. They finally called 9-1-1 and it looked like a murder scene there.
Ronnie said that Dominic Barbara was yelling at them to give him air even though no one was doing anything to stop him from getting air. Gary said he was told to call 9-1-1 and he had no idea what had actually happened. Gary said that he didn't know that Howard was going to critique his call.
That led to them playing Gary's 9-1-1 call and Howard and Robin picking it apart. Howard said Gary kept his composure during the call. They played more of it and Howard heard Gary saying that he thought Fred was awake but he wasn't. Gary said he didn't know what had happened so he didn't know what to say. Howard and Robin goofed on Gary's responses to the 9-1-1 operator. Howard said he could have done much better with the call and he could have gotten the rescue workers there faster if he had made the call. Howard said Gary has to handle himself in a more brilliant way. That led to Howard talking to the Gary Puppet for a short time.
Howard continued to goof on Gary about his call because he was saying he thought Fred was awake. Howard said Gary gets everything wrong and he now has proof. Howard said this is why he's going nowhere thanks to Gary. Gary said he didn't know before he made that call if he was out or not. Howard said he should have just said he didn't know when the operator asked. Gary told Howard he turned that call into a 30 minute bit and he really is a genius.
We heard from Howard about how they took Fred out of Scores and the rest of them stayed to party some more. Howard said Fred was so out of it that he didn't need any anesthesia to knock him out. Howard said he didn't want to go to the hospital fight Fred because he didn't want to turn it into a whole thing about him. Ronnie said they partied on and drank to Fred. The girls continued to dance.
Fred said he remembers waking up in a bed and thinking ''Wow! Scores is cool...'' and thinking he was still there. Fred said he didn't know what had happened in the previous hours. Fred said his wife told him that they thought he was gone. He said he didn't know what had gone down until the day after when they all filled him in with the details. Fred said he remembers going to the bathroom at 3 in the morning and seeing the bandage on his face. He said he almost screamed. Fred said he put his wife through hell and he didn't want to wake her up to ask what it was doing on his face.
Jim Forbes said that millions of listeners got to hear about the bachelor party the next morning. Fred said that things were really bad. He said everyone else had a good time but he didn't. He said the aftermath was not fun for him. He said maybe if it was someone else it would have been. He said he hasn't gotten that drunk before or since that day. He said it was one of those fluky things.
They played a show clip where Howard described what was going on at that Scores party for Fred. Howard described how he had his shirt off and had a girl next to him. He wasn't drinking at all. He said he saw Ralph was gone and someone else was there. He said Fred showed up next to him and he had 3 girls on him. Howard said it was like a wild orgy scene with Fred. He said one of the girls started screaming and he felt something wet on his leg. Howard said he had to wipe them down and it turned out to be puke. Fred had puked on his leg.
Howard said all of the girls were screaming and Fred was just sitting there with white foam and vomit coming out of his mouth. Howard said Fred just sat there and didn't say a word. He didn't apologize or anything. Howard said he just wanted to get cleaned off so he could get back to the girls. Howard said Dominic wouldn't let him be alone because one of the girls wanted to help clean him up. Howard said he cleaned up and moved on to round 2.
Howard said he went back upstairs to the dark room at Scores. He said Fred had stopped drinking by that point. The guys told him about Fred making out with Gay Rich and how Neil had gotten Rich on his lap. Howard described the scene there and how Fred was covered in vomit and Rich was on his lap. Howard said Fred's arms were around Rich's waist. Howard asked if he was making any of this up. Rich said ''Um, no...'' Dominic said he tried to take Rich off his lap but Fred just held on tighter. Rich said Dominic didn't try to take him off.
Jim Forbes said that the bachelor party show made for great TV even though they didn't have cameras at the party. John Reiber said that the way they spoke about that party on the radio show the next week was great. He said it was a great way for the audience to meet Howard and those were the best moments on TV
We heard another show clip where Howard was reading some mail they got about Fred and how they were spending two days tattling on him. The writer said that Fred should be able to do what he wants and not have it aired on radio. Howard read the note he got and the guy was telling him it just wasn't right that they were talking about it. Howard said the guy says they owe Fred an apology. Howard said Fred is taking it like a man. Robin told Howard she heard they wanted to throw another party for Fred. Howard said he would do that again but he's not sure they could get all of the girls to show up again.
We heard Ralph talking about how they did have that do-over party the next week. That one went over without incident though.
We heard a show clip where Howard was talking about the second Fred's bachelor party and how Fred didn't get drunk this time. Robin said that it was like Fred going back to the scene of the crime. Howard said they had YooHoo and Perrier for Fred this time. Gary said they had a chalk outline on the floor for where Fred fell down. Fred said he posed for pictures in that chalk line.
We heard Gay Rich telling a story about going to hang out with Fred's wife Alison about 6 months later. He said she asked him out and went on to drill him about what really happened at the bachelor party. Rich said that he told her what he knew and it is what it is. They went to break after that.
Jim Forbes said that Stuttering John staged one of the biggest practical jokes of all time with Gary when he made that appearance. Gary said he hates practical jokes and he was kind of worried about drawing a big crowd. He said that he wanted to bring the puppet to draw more people. That's when John implemented that prank on him. We heard from Stuttering John about that prank and how he was going to send in one of his friends to steal the puppet while another friend distracted Gary. Gary said the guy who owned the store had it behind his counter. He took him out to play a stereo for him and when they went back the puppet was gone. Gary said he had a guy tell him that he had gotten the license plate of the car that took it. Gary said he had a feeling it might be a joke and he ran the plate that he had been given and it came up blank. Gary said his wife know that they were just jerking him around but he really wasn't sure yet.
Stuttering John said he talked to Gary off the air about it and found out he was freaking out. He said that he called Howard and told him how things were going. He said Howard loved it. Robin said that John played it just right.
They played a show clip where Gary went into the studio and said that he was afraid to tell Howard this news in the studio. Gary then revealed that he had lost the puppet. He said he feels that they set him up but Howard denied doing that. He told Gary he loves that puppet more than any human being on this planet. Howard wondered how he set him up. Gary said they knew where he was in Little Falls, New Jersey. Howard asked where the puppet was now. Gary said it was gone. He didn't have it.
Gary told Howard he had a witness on the phone who got the license plate number. Howard picked up on that guy and got some information out of him about it. Howard told Gary not to take the puppet out with him anymore. He said he thought he was responsible. The witness said he saw what was going on there and he thinks that everyone was in on the joke other than Gary. He said he got some pictures of Gary there but he didn't get pictures of anyone else there. Howard ended up hanging up on that guy because he felt he was full of crap.
Howard took a call from the guy who said that he had the puppet. He said he grabbed it and ran out the back door. The guy said he took it and the alarm didn't even go off. The guy said he had the puppet right there with him and he knew what it said on the t-shirt and stuff. Howard asked the guy what he wants for it. The guy asked what he was willing to give him. They went back and forth talking about what they could trade for it. The thief said that it was worth a lot of money and he wasn't going to give it up cheap. Howard asked Gary what he got paid for the appearance. Gary said he wouldn't say but he would pay whatever it was he made there. The caller said it has to be worth 2 grand at least. The guy said that people are willing to pay that much or more. Gary said they could get a new one made for that kind of money. Howard said he likes the original. He asked the guy to give it back. The guy wasn't willing to do that.
Howard and the thief went back and forth talking about what they could do. Howard asked for a bottom line. Tom Chiusano came in and said he's not going to negotiate with a ransomer. He said that they should have called it into the police. Howard told him to drive it down there and all would be forgiven. The guy wasn't willing to do that Tom said they'll call the police then.
Howard said he would pay whatever the guy wants. The thief wanted Gary to pay. Howard said he'll pay the 2 grand he wants. The guy said that he could be there in about 15 minutes. Ralph told him to just have a new one made. Howard said he wanted it back today and not in four weeks. Howard said he can't wait that long for the damn puppet. Howard asked to speak to the puppet so the thief did an impression of it speaking to Howard.
We heard from current day Gary talking about how they revealed to him that the theft was fake and how he almost had the whole license plate number. It was John's assistant who had stolen the puppet.
They played the show clip where Howard revealed to Gary that it was all a set up. Gary said he knew it was. Howard said he didn't know. Gary asked how they came up with the plot and how long it took to plan. Howard said they took a few weeks to get it all set up. Gary didn't know that John had anything to do with it but it was John who actually stole it.
Howard told the guys how John was calling him with the details of the theft and how things were going with that. Howard congratulated everyone on pulling it off. John said he loves that Gary thought about calling the cops. Gary said he was asking the guys at the store if they were going to put out an All Puppet Bulletin or something to try and get it back.
They played a show clip where Howard played the audio of the prank call the stock broker made to Gary about how he had lost all of his money. The guy said that the company went out of business and all of the stock was taking off of trading. He told Gary that they're out of business and Gary was waiting for the guy to tell him that he had lost $10,000. Gary said it was a lot of money to him. Howard said it's a lot of money for anyone. Gary said he had just made about 3 grand on the money he invested and he was about to get out of it. Then he got this news.
Howard played more of the call and Gary was telling this guy Benny that he was a liar and he did trades that he didn't authorize. Stuttering John said that Doug from E! was also freaking out when he heard that Gary had lost the money because he had invested too. Howard payed more of the recorded call and Gary was going off on this guy and saying that he didn't tell him he could trade without his authorization. Gary said he had put $7,200 into this stock and it was all gone because of this guy. Gary asked the guy if John lost money too. Benny said John took his money and ran.
Benny told Gary he wanted him to send him more money and he'd help him get some money back. Gary asked if he was being jerked around again. Benny said he wasn't but Gary knew that they were and John finally broke down and told him that they were jerking him around. John also said that Howard wanted him to do that. Howard said Gary was really pissed. Gary said he was and he didn't know why he was the butt of John's jokes. John said it was just a practical joke. He said they're friends and they goof on each other all the time.
Ralph came in and said that he can't believe that John does this stuff to other people all the time but then he gets mad at them if they do anything to him or even threaten to say something on the air about him. Howard said he loves all of this and he could watch it all day long. John and Ralph ended up fighting a little bit over that. John said he doesn't get why Ralph was talking about him like this. He said he had to deal with Gary and now Ralph too. Ralph said that John is always giving him a hard time about stuff. John said he does the same to him. They went back and forth on that for a minute until Howard cut them off.
Howard and Gary talked about the pranks and Howard said he loves having everyone ratting on each other. He said he used to walk in and see people conspiring against each other and now they're all crawling out of the wood work.
They played a clip from the show where Howard played the audio of John being fired by Gary. In the clip Gary was telling John what he had done wrong and why he had to let him go. Gary said he was trying to sound nervous in the sit down. Gary said that Don Buchwald had flipped out over a book deal John was involved with even though John had dropped out of it. John was saying he was out of that deal and didn't understand why this was a problem. Howard had to replay some of that because he was so amused by the way John was responding to Gary.
Howard said that both John and Gary weren't communicating very well in that clip. He said that Gary said he was ''treading on dangerous water'' and that didn't make sense. Howard goofed on Gary about that for a short time and got back to the clip. Gary basically fired John and he said he could smell it coming for one of them. He then told John that Howard didn't want to talk to him after he got fired. John kept telling Gary he did everything he could to make that deal go away. Gary eventually told John he was jerking him around and it was just a joke. He said he was thinking of leaving him hanging all week long but he only let him hang for 10 minutes. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:45am.
We heard from current day Robin who was saying that George has been with the show in various ways long before he was willing to participate. That was partly because of Billy West. Scott the Engineer talked about that interview they did with George where Billy West was doing the impression. He said that he was kind of confused with someone coming back at him with such a good impression. Billy West talked about how George seemed to be fascinated with the whole process of the show.
We heard from George Takei who said that he's fallen for a lot of stuff with the show. He said that they've had people ask him questions at Star Trek conventions and stuff. He said that he found that maybe Howard's fans were intrigued with that. George said that he'd get phone calls from friends who heard him on the Howard Stern Show and realized that those goofy questions came from his show.
They played more of the interview over satellite where Howard was asking George some questions about his time on Star Trek and working with William Shatter. George talked about his book and what he wrote about Shatner in that. Howard said he thought he was a rat fink and George kind of agreed with him. George talked about what it was like working with Shatner and how much of a phony he was to him. He said he'd ask him how he was doing like he really cared even though he knew he didn't.
Howard and George talked about Shatner's hair piece and how goofy that is. Howard said it looks like a tribble on his head. George got a laugh out of that. Howard thanked George for being on the show and let him go a short time later. Billy West continued to do his George Jr. impression and said when he talks his balls rattle. He said they can also land the Enterprise on Bill's head.
After that we heard Jim Forbes talking about how they tried out the George Jr. impression on Bill Shatner. We heard from Billy West about that and he was saying that Shatner isn't the kind of guy you think he is. He said that he's a goofball like the rest of them. He said he's not sure what really went on over there on the set of Star Trek. We heard from William Shatner as well. Shatner said he has a great deal of sympathy for George.
They played a show clip where they had Billy West call in as George Takei Jr. when Bill Shatner was on the show. Howard asked George Jr. about working with Bill and why he felt he had to write all of this stuff about Bill. They also had him doing an Uhura impression. They were trying to fool Bill but he knew it wasn't the real guy.
That led to another show clip where they played a bunch of Jackie laughs that Fred had on cart. Billy West would do an impression of each of the laughs. Then Howard made a game out of it and had Fred play a laugh and Billy would do an impression of it. Howard was cracking up at the impressions. Billy even did an impression of his own impression of one of Jackie's laughs. Howard said Billy puts a lot of effort into those laughs. Howard asked him which one he liked to do the best. Billy told him it was one of the guffaws. Fred played the one he was talking about and Billy did that one a couple of times.
Jim Forbes said that the arrival of a new puppet would make Billy a huge star on the show. We heard from Jackie talking about the Jackie Puppet and how his friend had made it for him. He said that the puppet was amazing and they told him to take it on the show. Jackie said he knew that they were going to think that it was him just trying to get himself on the show more. He told his friend to bring the puppet on the show and make it seem like they were goofing on him. Jackie said they came in with the puppet and Gary came in and told Howard about it. Jackie said his friend came in with his wife and they gave the puppet to Howard.
They played a show clip where Howard had the creator of the Jackie Puppet come in to present them with the puppet. Howard saw the puppet and said it was unbelievable. Robin got a laugh out of it when she saw it for the first time. It came with a can of beer and a bong. The guy who created it said that he was a three dimensional designer. Howard said Jackie must want to bring it home with him. The puppet had the ability to fart when you blew it up with a pump.
Howard took the puppet and did his Jackie impression while working the mouth. Howard goofed on Jackie for a few minutes doing that. Robin was doing her Jackie impression and goofing on Jackie too. Howard was saying that he could leave the show and do whatever he wanted. He said that Jackie didn't care about money but he drove a Volvo and things like that. Howard did some Jackie Jokes and said that puppet was great. Howard said it was very nice of them to give that puppet to the show.
After that we heard Jackie talking about how the puppet got passed around and they all goofed on him. Jackie pretended he wasn't so happy about it but he loved that they had the puppet on the show. He said it was great.
They played another show clip where Howard said that even Tom Chiusano works the Jackie puppet. He said Tom went into a whole routine when he heard they had the puppet. Howard had Tom come in to do that Jackie puppet routine. Howard said he's not bad with it either. Tom came in and took the puppet and did an impression of Jackie doing his contract negotiation thing. Tom did that for a couple of minutes. Howard said he was keeping it short for the radio but he had even more of a routine.
We heard from Robin who was saying that she loved when Billy would do his Jackie voice when Jackie was sitting right there. She said that Billy would say stuff that Jackie was feeling but wouldn't say on the air. Jackie's ex-wife Nancy said that Billy would get his lines right from Jackie so he was actually doing Jackie as Jackie. She said when people do impressions of Jackie today they're actually doing an impression of Billy doing Jackie.
They played a show clip where Robin was doing her news and Billy was doing his Jackie Puppet impression talking about weed. Jackie Puppet was pretending to smoke his bong and Billy was making all of the sound effects. Jackie Puppet said he loves weed and Billy would make the bong sound.
We heard Billy West talking about how much fun he had with the Jackie Puppet. He said he tried to give it a 3D personality. He did some of that impression and told some jokes as Jackie. Billy said it made him laugh while he was laughing. Jackie said he was making noises that came out of Jackie. Billy said Jackie would yell at people if they didn't laugh at his jokes so he did some of that too. Billy said the puppet was like the spitting image of Jackie and it was like the Twilight Zone in there. He said the puppet would attack people on the show and he didn't care about who it was.
We heard Howard talking about how Conan O'Brien was on the show and the puppet attacked him. Howard said the puppet ripped him a new asshole when he was on. He said it's got to be one of the most requested moments on the radio show and on the TV show. We heard from Artie who said he loved that show too. He said he would nominate that as one of his top 10 moments on the show ever. Billy said it was a whole new form of comedy doing that puppet thing. They were all in there trying to crack Howard up. Billy said he was a journeyman and he was just doing what he had to do on the show.
They played a show clip where Conan O'Brien was on the show and the puppet was giving him a hard time. Howard said he was reading that Conan was going to be losing his show soon. Conan didn't know that and said that his ratings had been going up. Jackie Puppet started in on Conan goofing on him within a minute of him coming in. Howard told the puppet that he was a loser and didn't have a show and he as making fun of Conan. Conan said he thinks the puppet will have a show soon. The puppet told him some jokes and then told Conan that's f'n funny stuff. The puppet was trying to get a job on Conan's show. Howard went on with the interview and the puppet would come in with jokes every few minutes. Jackie Puppet was drinking beer and getting more and more vicious with Conan. Conan asked Howard if he would ever come on his show. Howard quickly said no but the Jackie Puppet said he would come on. Howard let Conan go after that.
They played a clip from Conan O'Brien's show when Howard was on with him and they talked about the Jackie Puppet attacking Conan. Howard explained what he told Billy West to do that day and told him to be relentless with Conan. They even played a clip from Howard's TV show where the puppet was giving him a hard time. Conan said he still has nightmares from that show. They went to break after that.
They played a show clip where Howard talked about Roseanne coming out and saying some stuff about them. Howard said Roseanne was threatening to shave his head. Howard said Kinison told him that he had never seen someone so desperate as Roseanne. He said she's always trying to get into the news with anything. He said the latest thing is that she's claiming to have had a lesbian experience.
Howard read the quote from Roseanne where she was bad mouthing him and his audience. Howard called her a fat slob and told her to think about the way she looks before bad mouthing someone else. Howard said she has to smell bad. He said every fat person he's met has a ''twang'' to them.
We heard from Tom Arnold about those days and how Roseanne would get angry over some stuff that they did on the show with Judy Tenuta. Tom said that they got upset about that kind of stuff.
They played another show clip where Howard tried to call Roseanne on the air. He had Gary make the call off the air in the studio. Gary got Tom on the air but Tom hung up on him. Howard went off on Tom when he heard that. He blamed Gary for not handling it right. Howard tried to call them himself since Gary didn't handle it right.
Howard made the call to Tom and told him he wasn't on the air. Howard said Tom was off the air and he was on the air. Howard said he had the phone up to his ear. Howard ended up hanging up on him. He said Tom started screaming so he told him he was a fat jackass and hung up. Howard said he handled it perfectly.
We heard from Tom Arnold again and he was saying they went back and forth with that stuff for a while. Then they got the divorce and Howard said whoever came on the show first would be friends with them. Gary talked about how they knew that one of them would come on because they hated each other so much. Tom was the first one to come on the show.
Gary said it's very weird to have someone that you've hated so much come on the show. Tom said he came on the show in 1994 to promote ''True Lies'' and they've been friends every since. Howard said Tom made a couple of good movies and he was able to do stand up and stuff so they turned out to be good guests. Howard said it was big of them to come on the show after all of that.
They played a show clip where they had Tom Arnold come in as a mystery guest. Howard and the guys had to try and figure out who it was by asking one question at a time. They knew it was a guy and after a few questions they figured out who it was. Fred was the one who had it figured out before anyone else. Howard said they had told them that whoever came in first would be friends with them. Howard and Robin seemed pretty surprised he actually came in. Howard told Gary to erase all of the old tapes immediately.
Howard told Tom that this was the biggest slap in Roseanne's face ever. Howard said that she has to hate him and this will piss her off. Tom said that Roseanne doesn't really hate Howard. He said they do have a strange like for each other. Howard spent a short time talking to Tom about the movie ''True Lies'' and about his marriage to Roseanne. He told Tom he thinks that he's entitled to half of her money. Howard asked Tom if he and Roseanne would get mad at him when he'd talk about them. Tom said they did get kind of upset.
After that we heard Jim Forbes saying that less than a month later Roseanne made an appearance on the show. They went into that show clip where Howard had Roseanne come in. Howard said it was very funny to have her in there. Howard said maybe Kathie Lee is around the corner. Robin said she doubts that.
Howard talked about the feud he and Roseanne had. Roseanne said she never even really heard the show, they used to get the transcripts of the show and she would find them funny. Roseanne said that Tom was the one who would get upset about what he said. Roseanne said that she was trying to be funny when she talked about the show and said that it was just a bunch of plumbers listening in their trucks. Howard said he made fun of their weight because he's not that bright. He said he doesn't have anything else to make fun of them about. Robin said that he attacked a lot of the stuff she was saying about her life. Howard asked Roseanne if they were friends now. Roseanne said she's not holding any grudge with him.
They played a show clip where Howard had Sandra on the show and he was going to play her song on the air. Gary warned him that it might be kind of dirty. Sandra told him she'd let him know when to cut it off. She told him to cut it off before it got dirty. Howard had some fun with Sandra with the song and then got a hug from her. He felt up her ass and massaged it for her. She told him his hair smelled nice. Howard put his hand up her shirt and rubbed her back and then said he wanted to unhook her bra. He said he hadn't done that to another girl in a long time. He even unbuttoned her pants. She ended up getting down to panties. Howard told her to take her shirt off too. She didn't do that and said she had to get out of there.
Jackie told Howard she didn't seem to be into guys. Howard said she was into him at that moment. He said she was getting turned on when he was touching her butt. Howard said she could have pretended he was a chick. Howard said he could convert her and get her off the lesbian sauce. Sandra heard them talking about all of that so she popped back in and warned him.
After that we heard Sandra talking about how she's found Howard very sexy and they have kissed and touched but it never went anywhere. She said that she finds a lot of what Howard does to be attractive. Gay Rich talked about how everyone who came on the show would check their personalities at the door. He said they just wanted to have fun and they would laugh at themselves.
Ralph Cirella said that Pam was fantastic on the show and she was a huge star at that time. Ralph said she was a great guest and he remembers that first time she was on and how hot she was at the time. He said she's always going to be hot to him but she was really hot then. He said now it's just some chick who kind of resembles Pam. Ralph said he got a picture with Pam and she put her arm around him and started rubbing his back. Ralph said he was so happy that day and it was caught in a picture.
They played a show clip where Pam Anderson came in for the first time and talked about dating Brett Michaels. Pam was 27 at the time. Howard asked if she had oil on her chest. He said she was glistening. Howard said she's like Marilyn Monroe. He told her to do a comedy movie and she'd be the sex symbol in the movie. Howard said he might have a part for her in his movie.
Howard wanted to rehearse a scene with Pam. He had a script written for her and it was a student and teacher type of thing where she played the teacher. Howard said he didn't want her to read it ahead of time. He told her to just do it as they went along. Howard did the scene and got to kiss her a little bit. Ralph then came in and said that Pam was so good looking it was hard to look at her.
We heard from J.F. Lawton about Pam Anderson. He said that Pam would talk about her life on the show and he found that she was very smart. He said that if they could capture the way she talks in that lively way they'd have a show. J.F. said that they were looking to do a show with her and he ended up meeting with her and that's what led to them doing the ''V.I.P.'' show. He said she showed a funny side to herself and Howard was the one who showed that side of her. They went to break after that.
They played a show clip where Howard had George Pataki on the phone to talk about getting him a job in his administration. Howard said he ants to be something to his kids other than a dopey disc jockey. Howard said it won't be a frivolous thing. He said he will take it seriously. Howard said he needs an office and Pataki said they could give him something in the World Trade Center. Howard said he'd like a commissioner title and he wanted to be in charge of a lot of things. Howard said he wanted something to do but Pataki told him he can't offer him a job in exchange for backing him in the election. Howard spoke to him in Pig Latin trying to hide it from the air and Pataki played along with that. They discussed what Howard could do and Howard said he thinks that he could become President some day. He said the governor thing will only go for 4 years and then he'll be President.
We heard from current day George Pataki talking about going out and shaking hands and hearing from Stern fans who had heard him on Howard's show. He said that there were a lot of people who wanted change and they supported him thanks to Howard.
Howard's sister Ellen was a regional representative for George Pataki. They had her talking about how Howard backed him and how Howard was one of the few people who were mentioned in Pataki's book. Howard's mother also talked about Howard backing Pataki and how well that worked out.
We heard a phony news report about Pataki thinking Howard had helped him win. They were calling Howard a King Maker for helping Pataki win. They were quoting an article from the New York Post from November of 1994.
Howard talked about how powerful the show was and what a big deal that was. Howard said if he had become governor himself that really would have shown how powerful the show was. Howard said he helped Pataki and Christy Whitman win and that showed the power of the show. Christy Whitman talked about how he does credit Howard with helping her win and his audience is very loyal and they will pay attention to him. She said that he definitely had an impact. Senator Al D'Amato also said that Howard was a king maker.
Pataki said a few more words about that and how he had Howard at the inauguration. He said that he was right there on stage when he got sworn in. Pataki said people thought he was crazy for doing that with Howard. He said that he wasn't going to change what he said to Howard and he had to have him there.
Howard talked about how impressed his parents were when he got to go up on stage that day. He thinks that was the biggest thing for his father that day. He said that he got to stand there and see the governor sworn in with his son on stage. We heard Howard's mom talking about what a wonderful day that was. Ben Stern also talked about how impressive it was go to go the mansion. He said that they were turning the lights out in every room when they'd look at them. Ben said that Pataki's mother was the one turning the lights out. Pataki talked about what a character Ben was that day. He said they had a great time that day.
Howard's running mate, Stan Dwarkin, talked about how he was home watching the inauguration and he saw that Howard had a better seat than many of the former governors. He said that Howard got to go to the ball while he and his wife had to watch it on TV.
Billy West said that Howard seemed to be delighted with himself being up there. He said that Howard had been the kid who was picked on in school and now he was up on stage at this inauguration.
They played a show clip where Howard talked about going to that inauguration. Howard said he was sat in a chair where he was right over Pataki's shoulder. He said he was in every shot on TV. Fred had seen some of it but Howard got upset with him when he was talking about the channel he was watching him on. Howard said he had the woman who swears the people in sitting right in front of him. Howard talked about some of the other things that were going on there at the inauguration. Howard said people thought he was going to pinch George's wife's ass up on stage. He said that people were congratulating him that he didn't do that. He said people thought he was going to do something crazy but he didn't. Howard said George came right over and shook his hand after he was sworn in. He said he was really nice to him. Howard talked about the strange way Governor Cuomo was looking at him.
Howard said he got a tour of the new mansion and saw the bedroom. He got to hang out with the Pataki family and saw the work that Cuomo did on the house the whole time he was in office. Howard said he got a laugh out of that because he did all of that work and now he's not able to enjoy it. Howard said Cuomo made the mistake of going on Imus' show. He said he went with the loser and lost the election.
We heard from Jim Forbes and he was saying that Pataki actually signed into legislation one of the things that Howard had on his platform. That was the nighttime construction. Howard talked a little bit about that and so did Pataki. Pataki said that they managed to get it through in the first year he was in office.
They played a show clip where Robin brought the night time construction story up in the news. Howard said he will be at the signing and he will make a speech there.
Howard's mother, Ray, talked about how working on the roads at night is the best thing they do. She said it was a nice thing that Howard had in his life. Howard's father, Ben, also talked about that one good thing they did with that construction law. George Pataki said he gave Howard the pen he signed that law into effect with. He said that he had Howard with him on that and he knew they were going to get that law passed.
They played a news report about that signing. That led into another show clip where Howard talked about how bad Governor Cuomo was and how it's about time they have Pataki in office. Howard said they have a lot of great stuff happening now that Pataki is in there. He said he's really happy with Pataki and what he's done so far. They're all common sense things that he's doing. Howard and Robin went over some of that stuff and how Pataki is a fan of the show and they love that.
Howard talked about his mother's reaction to the whole thing and how impressed she was. Howard said his father was impressed too. He said he was all pumped up and up there yelling and screaming. Howard said his dad was glad that he was finally accepted. Robin said it was nice that they were accepted the way they were. They went to break after that.
They played a show clip where Howard took that call from Emilio when he was standing on the GW Bridge getting ready to jump. Howard thought it was a joke at first but the guy said he was serious. Howard asked if anyone was stooping to help. No one was stopping. Howard asked someone to honk if they saw him. A few seconds later someone honked. Emilio said that life sucks sometimes and he's not that happy. He said he has kids too. Howard said he might join him because he's kind of sick of living too.
Emilio told Howard that someone had stopped to help. She asked to talk to Howard and said that this guy was serious. She said she was blocking traffic there. Howard asked if he was on the side to jump. He said that he was. He also said that the woman who pulled over was a fat cow when Howard asked if she was good looking. Emilio said that everyone was stopping now. He didn't want that. Howard asked what his name was and he said he was going by Prince. Howard said that he might think that life is a bed of roses for some people but it's really not. Howard said that he does have a few things to look forward to though. Howard said that he's got a lot of stuff going on with the show and he should come and visit them before he does something like this.
At one point another fan picked up Emilio's phone and told Howard that the cops had just taken the guy into custody and put him in the car. The guy said that the cops didn't want to talk to Howard but Howard told him to hand it over to them. The first woman to stop said she put her arms around him until the cops showed up. She said they were taking him away. She said that he told her he was really going to jump. Howard told her to make sure that she tells all of the news reporters that he was the reason he didn't jump. She said he was the reason and that's what she will say.
The woman put Howard on the phone with a Lieutenant Bleeker from the Port Authority Police department. He said he wanted to thank Howard for helping to avert a tragedy on the bridge. Howard said it's all in a day's work and he doesn't consider himself a hero. The guy said that the man will be examined psychologically and they will figure out if he needs help. Howard said he wants to be kept up to date on what's happening with him. Bleeker said that he is a fan and he appreciates the way Howard handled himself. Howard talked about how many people would panic but he didn't. He said he was nervous but he kept his head. Bleeker said that they do appreciate what Howard did this morning because they may have averted a tragedy. Howard told him that he's there for them anytime they need him. He said he almost told the guy to jump because he was so annoying. Howard let him go after that. Howard was wondering who to call next. Gary said that CBS 2 had called and asked some questions. They were getting calls from a bunch of news sources.
Next up we heard from Scott the Engineer who said that guy made a mess of the city that morning. He said they had a couple of weeks of shows dedicated to the jumper. We heard from Ben and Ray Stern about that as well. They talked about what they remembered happening at the time. Fred Norris also said that if the guy was that desperate to kill himself he probably wouldn't have called into a radio show. He said if they did save his life then it's terrific but if it was to get attention then it was just nuts.
Gary said they got the guy off the bridge and there was a whole aftermath because Howard is such a genius with that stuff. Howard talked about how they were discussing what they wanted to talk about in the press conference and that must be what goes on behind the scenes before press conferences like that. Howard said they talked about how he was going to say he wasn't a hero while others were saying he was one. He said they bring the audience into every aspect of the game plan.
They played a show clip where Howard was getting ready for the press conference about this jumper. They had Helen, the woman who stopped Emilio from jumping, come in. Howard advised her on what she was going to say and how he was going to come out after that and say he wasn't a hero but she would tell him he was one. Howard told Helen that Gary will call him a hero and then they'll play a 2 minute clip of him talking the guy down from the bridge. They'll hear Helen in that clip and then they'll have him come out. Howard said he's going to say he's no hero and Helen will interrupt him and say ''Oh yes you are!'' Howard went over everything they were going to do and told Helen what to do. She rehearsed what she wanted to say but Howard told her to keep it short.
Next up they played the press conference that Howard held. They got into it after it had already started. Howard was making a statement about what people think of him and how he's not like that. A lot of what he was saying was jokes that Jackie had written for him. Howard said he wasn't a hero and Robin interrupted and said he was a hero.
After that we heard current day Howard talking about what an asshole he was that day. He said the best theater was that press conference where he congratulated himself. He said nothing was funnier than that. Howard said it was funny as hell and a great bit. He said no hero congratulates himself like that.
They played a news clip where they reported on the jumper and Howard helping to save him. They had interviews with some of the people involved and said that Emilio was charged with cocaine possession.
They played another show clip where Howard was talking about all of the calls they were getting about the story and then read a story in one paper where they called him the King of all Media and not the ''self proclaimed King of...'' He said that they blasted him in the article after that and he knew that's what was going to happen.
Ronnie the Limo Driver said that Howard may have helped that guy out and he was kind of a hero that day. That led into another show clip where Robin talked about the faxes they were getting about saving that guy. Robin said that they were calling Howard a hero in those faxes. Howard had Fred playing Dionne Warwick's song ''That's What Friends Are For'' as he was patting himself on the back. Robin asked if this can possibly change him. Howard asked if she was crazy.
We heard current day Gary talking about Howard playing Mariah Carey's song ''Hero'' to him on the show after that. They went into a show clip where Howard had Carly Simon on the show and asked her to sing to him about being a hero. She sang the lyrics they had written for her about the bridge jumper.
We heard current day Howard talking about how the press started calling him a hero when he really didn't think he was. He said it was all a goof and they were all going for it. He said the thing is that other people started calling in and threatening to kill themselves.
They played a show clip where Gary came running in and told Howard he had Rodney Dangerfield on the phone and he was threatening to jump from a roof. Howard took the call and tried to talk Rodney down. Rodney was telling all kinds of jokes to him and said he was going to jump. Rodney said ''look out below'' and hung up.
We heard Gary talking about how the jumper got upset that they were getting so much attention about this and he got irritated. Gary said that he was calling the show asking them to do stuff for him.
They played another show clip where Howard took a call from Emilio the jumper who was upset with Howard. Howard said he seemed happy the last time he saw him. Howard asked what he was upset about. Emilio said that a lot of people said a lot of things and he's really not happy. He said it's not really a complaint and he's not sure what the problem is. Gary told him to spit it out because he was able to say it the day before. Emilio had to take another call so Howard talked about how he's never going to save another life again after this. Emilio said that he's having problems with his accountant now. Howard told him to stop dreaming dreams and just go live his life. Robin told him he has to solve his own problems sometimes.
Howard tried to give Emilio some advice about his life. Emilio wanted him to help get him a job since they're so well connected. Howard said he can't help him with that. Gary came in and said that a guy on the phone wanted to offer him a job. Howard told him to present his best in the call. Howard took the call and the guy said he had a sales position for him if he wanted it. It was selling hardware to maintenance people. Emilio didn't like what he was hearing about the pay. Emilio said it was nothing he was used to. The caller said it wasn't brain surgery. He said he could be making six figures after the first or second year. Emilio said he would talk to the guy. Howard said he'd put them on hold and let them talk to each other off the air. They went to break after that.
They played the show clip where Howard took a call from this inmate who claimed he was on trial for murder. Howard asked the guy about being in prison and what that was like for him. The guy, Lee, said that he had been in jail for over a year now. Lee Newman said that he was laying tile for a union and he started messing around with cocaine and he'd go out and get smoked out and he'd be broke by the weekend. One night he said he smoked crack and cut his fiancee's head almost all the way off. Howard asked if he admits to doing it. The guy said he did but he wasn't in the right state of mind. Gary said the trial was about if he was out of his mind or if it was premeditated. Lee said that he was raised in a good family and he's not the kind of guy who would do this. He said he never thought about doing that before it happened. He said that they had just gotten done making love when he did it. He said the last thing he remembers was going to the shower and then rocking her in his arms. He said it sounds crazy but that's what he remembers. Howard said that's a pretty crazy story. He said that he was 27 and the girl was 32. The guy said that he was put on medication in prison and he was having nightmares and hearing all kinds of things.
Howard asked Lee what he used to cut the head off. He said it was a knife from what he was told. He said he went to the kitchen to get it while she was in the shower. He said that's what he thinks happened anyway. Howard asked where the head was when he was rocking her. He said he didn't remember. Gary asked the guy if he had been approached by anyone in jail for sex. Lee said that you sit in your cell for 24 hours a day and only get 3 hours a week out of the cell. Robin said she wouldn't want to live if she had killed someone. Lee said he can't bring her back and he can't say he didn't do it. He said he wasn't in the right state of mind at the time. Howard asked if he was arrested right away. He said he took off to San Francisco and went to her dad's office and went into the safe and stole $1,000. He went to San Francisco and came down off the drugs. He said that he got really paranoid when he'd see cops and stuff. He said he was going through the city and ran out of money. Then he went to the China district and asked for some cigarettes and stuff. He ran out of the store and stole them and as he was going down the street he hit another car that was turning. He took off and about 2 hours later the cops pulled him over for a broken light and that's when they found out who he was. Howard said he was doing a lot wrong this whole time. He said he was breaking every law he could. Lee said about 6 or 7 cops showed up and arrested him. He said it was about 2 days after that when they found out that he had killed his fiancee. He said that she was supposed to go to her father's office to work and she didn't show up.
Howard asked the guy how he wanted to die if he gets the death penalty. He said that he would probably let them choose. He said that he'll be there at least another year though. Howard and Robin asked if they could watch his execution. He said he would like them to do that if he does get the death penalty. Howard asked how soon they can make that happen because they want to see that happen. Lee looked at his calendar while Howard and Gary tried to figure out if they could do something like that. Lee said that it would be March 30th for the trial. He was running out of phone time so he got cut off around that point. Howard said that would be a good show seeing that guy executed.
They played a news clip where a news program talked about the call to the Howard Stern Show and played some clips of him admitting to having killed this woman. The confession would be admissible in court so prosecutes were happy that he had done it on the show. The reporter had spoken to Lee on his own as well.
After that we heard Gary talking about how big the news was in the San Jose area. He said that the guy had basically admitted he was guilty on the air and they were done with the case. They didn't even have to go to court.
Jim Forbes mentioned a song parody that they came up with on the show around this time. That led to Scott the Engineer talking about this song ''Brown Fingers'' that they did on the show and what a legend it turned out to be. He explained that it was his fingers being stained from smoking that led to the song.
They played a show clip where Howard was talking about the smell of Scott he gets whenever he's around him. Howard said he ended up writing a song about him to the tune of ''Brown Sugar'' called ''Brown Fingers.'' They performed the song live in the studio but Howard said he thinks Scott may have to sing it so he had better pay attention. Howard told Scott to try it but he didn't want to. Howard said he has to do it. Scott wasn't interested in it.
Next up we heard Scott talking about the video they made with him dressed up as a cigarette. He said they shot that at Scores.
They played the final version of the song parody that Scott actually sang to. Howard and Fred did their Scott impressions in that song.
Jim Forbes said that Steve Grillo was featured in a song parody that was a parody of the song ''I'm Too Sexy.'' Steve Grillo said that he has friends who have that song on their phones for his ring tone.
They played a show clip where Howard came up with the idea for the song about Grillo. Howard told Fred to come up with the song and threw out a few lines for him. He said that would be funny having Grillo singing ''I'm Zo Zexy.'' Robin even came up with a line or two for the song.
We heard Fred talking about how interesting Grillo was on the show and how unique his voice was for the show. He said that it's a lot of fun to do that voice. He said if you get together with friends you can do it. He said that everyone has fun with it and Steve always took it in stride when he was doing the voice. He said Steve knew it was just having fun when they did that. He said they had fun with that song too.
Steve Grillo said he just wanted to come and do a good job on the show and be acknowledged for it. He said that they'd goof on him and that's when his voice would change and he'd get really tense.
They played another show clip where Howard and Fred were picking Grillo apart about the way he speaks and told him how they came up with the song ''I'm Zo Zexy'' for him. Howard had Fred do it first and told Grillo he was going to sing it after Fred. Fred sang the song as Steve Grillo and did his impression through the whole thing.
Everyone was doing their Grillo impressions and goofing on him. Howard told Grillo to try the song but he wasn't sure he could pull it off. Howard told him to just say it the way he talks instead of doing an impression of them doing his voice. Grillo gave the song a try and wasn't putting much energy into it. Howard told him Fred is going to have to coach him. Howard showed him how to do it and sang some of the song himself. He asked Steve how he couldn't sing that. He said he's never seen someone say they can't do it so much. He told him to get to work and work that thing out.
They played a show clip where Howard was talking about Jackie selling all of his stuff when he does comedy shows. He sets up a table with all of this stuff he sells. Howard said he has t-shirts, cups, mugs, tapes and more. He said Jackie comes out and charges people 20 bucks for everything. He doesn't even bring change. Howard said the people buy it and then wake up the next morning and regret their purchases.
Jackie said he does a whole rap telling people what he has. Gary said he knows how it goes. He told Howard what Jackie will tell the audience and how he'll tell them that they can buy whatever they want. Howard said that Jackie has already said goodbye to them and then he tries to sell this stuff. Jackie said he does about an hour or more of comedy and then he does this Stump the Joke Man thing and gives away a t-shirt to people who stump him. He said he'll then pitch all of the other stuff he has for sale.
Howard said he doesn't get why he has to sell this stuff after people paid to see him. Jackie said he's not sure why people do but they do. Howard said they must wonder why they spent money on all of this stuff the next morning. Howard said if they have money for that stuff there is too much money in this country. Gary said Jackie sells fake eyeballs after he does a bit with them and they love that stuff. Gary said he even got excited when he got a packet of fake eyeballs. Howard asked if he ever feels that he has elevated himself to a certain level and he doesn't need to do that. Jackie said he doesn't think that way.
Gary told a story about Jackie doing a show where they had like 1000 people and it was unbelievable how fast the stuff was selling. Howard said they've talked about Jackie leaving the show and asking if he thinks he's going to sell out shows when he does. Jackie said he doesn't care but meanwhile look at this bonanza of stuff that he's selling. Howard said he wishes that Jackie had left the show last year so he could see what he'd be up to now. Howard said Jackie claims he doesn't need the money but he really does. Howard said he could just give up the money and just go out and perform for free. Howard said Jackie is taking 20s for all of his junk. Ralph came in and said that Jackie plays it off like he's a hippie but he's really not. He said he's been to the shows and he's seen him selling that stuff. Billy West did an impression of Jackie selling his stuff. Howard said Jackie packs those places and you'd think that the money the clubs pay him would be enough. Howard had a caller on the line who fake laughed through the whole discussion. Everyone was just ignoring him.
Billy West did his Jackie Puppet thing a little bit during that discussion. Howard said Jackie doesn't need to sell that stuff and he really wants him to go out on his own so he can sit there and laugh. Howard talked about Jackie's wife Nancy and how she helps him out with that stuff. They told some stories about Jackie and some of the wacky things he's done over the years at the clubs. Jackie Puppet was goofing on Jackie about the shows and telling jokes to the sounds of crickets. He would tell a joke and then make the cricket chirping sounds. Howard said Jackie hates this and the puppet just keeps getting closer and closer to Jackie's head.
Howard talked to Jackie Puppet about the way things were going for him and the Puppet was talking about being depressed. The real Jackie wasn't saying a word and Howard thought he was getting pissed. Howard said that was enough of that. He said they were supposed to make fun of him tomorrow, not today. They ended today's show around 10:30am.
Jim Forbes said that Robin signed a book deal of her own to write a biography of her own life. We heard from Robin about the book. She said she was approached by a couple of publishers who were looking for something funny but she decided she wanted to write about becoming successful. She said you see that your issues come up in your life as it goes along and that's the story she decided to tell.
Judith Regan talked about Robin's book being much more serious since they were her memoirs. Judith said that people wanted to hear from Robin and she chose to tell a story about herself. Judith said she thought it was a great story and she showed she overcame a lot of odds. She said that Robin had done some amazing things in her life and the book was the telling of that story.
They played a show clip where Howard was talking about the horrible weather they had there in the city. He wanted to leave early. Howard said it took him 4 hours to get home the other day in the snow storm. Howard said he can't believe how many inches Robin is going to be getting. She said they were predicting 6 inches. Robin asked Howard if he was writing a book about her, would he want to know about her sex life. Howard said of course that's what he wants to read about. He told her to go out and have some lesbian experiences so she'll have more stories.
Howard said he wants to read about anything sexual she's done. He said he wanted to read about the most painful kind of sex a woman can have in that book. He knew about a couple of experiences that she had. He told her to write about that. Fred played some audio clips of Robin faking an orgasm as they were talking about that.
After that we heard Judith Regan talking about the sexual stuff that Robin wrote about. She said people were surprised to read about that. Robin said Howard told her that she shouldn't write about it but she said she didn't mind that people would come after her about that stuff. Howard said he felt very uncomfortable about some of the stuff she wrote about. He said the book cleared up a lot of stuff about her that he wondered about in the past. He said it was pretty mind blowing to read some of that stuff about her wanting to stomp on his face and things like that. Howard said he just went with it and figured if it made him uncomfortable then it was probably good for the air.
They played a show clip where Robin was talking about working late into the night on her book. She said she had gone out to a show and then stayed up working. Howard had read some of the stuff she had written and he told her that maybe she shouldn't put the book out. Howard told her that some of it was wild. He said she must have been so whacked out that she didn't know what she was doing. Howard kept saying ''I don't know'' over and over as he was talking about her stories. He said he didn't know she masturbated as much as she said in the book. Howard told Robin to put the book out after she's dead. Robin said he did have a very big reaction to her at one point. They were being kind of cryptic about whatever it was they were talking about. Howard begged her not to put the book out with whatever it was he'd read.
Howard said that Robin was mentally disturbed and he wasn't sure what was going on. He said he's part of her story and some of the things they've said in private were in the book. He said their trust was broken with the book. Howard said the book is good but he wished that she wasn't going to put it out. Robin said that wasn't a good thing to say. Howard said he can't even look at her.
Next up we heard current day Robin talking about putting the book out and wondering if people were going to have ammunition to take her down. She said her attitude about the whole thing showed it wasn't going to happen. Robin said it was just something she really wanted to do and she felt adamant about it all. Robin said she's glad she got to do it.
Judith Regan said that both Howard and Robin were hard working and dedicated to writing their books. She said there's a reason they became successful in the publishing world.
Gay Rich said that he and Robin had a bond with each other on the show. He said they weren't guys who wanted to talk about boobs. He said that he and Robin would talk in the morning and she was always beautiful to him. Howard's sister Ellen also talked about how great Robin has been on the show. Gene Simmons talked about how he wanted to mount her.
They played another show clip where Robin said she had an announcement to make. Howard thought it was going to be something about her book. Robin ended up saying that from that moment on she was going to be known as Robin Ophelia Quivers. Howard asked her what she was talking about. Robin said there are a lot of three name people so she's going to do it too. Robin said she's going to be Robin Ophelia Quivers. Howard asked how she's going to do that. Robin said that he has to refer to her as that name. Howard said ''Good luck with that.'' Robin said they're going to be using her name in articles and stories about her. Howard asked who advised her to do that. Robin said it was her own thought. She said she just wants to use her full name. Howard said that's the silliest notion he's heard. He said she might be getting carried away with herself. Howard said he was just going to move on with the show and pretend he didn't hear this.
Howard said if it makes Robin happy then good for her. Howard said he thought she didn't like her middle name. Robin said she's owning it now and she doesn't mind it so much. She said she just made that decision that day. Howard asked if she's going to sign her full name when someone asks for an autograph. She said she would. She said she knows she'll have to correct people all the time about her name. Howard said people are going to look at her like Prince with his name changes. He said this is the wackiest announcement he's ever heard.
We heard current day Fred talking about reading that book and how his eyes got wider and his jaw dropped farther from his face with every page he read. Fred said he couldn't believe it was Robin Quivers and that she wasn't institutionalized. He said she did find a job on that show which is almost the same thing.
Gary talked about reading Robin's book and how they had a big turning point after that. He said he thought that Robin hated him and she wanted him fired. He said they had a big blow out one morning and he read about her history in the book and saw where she was coming from.
They played a show clip where Howard was asking Robin about when her book was coming out. Howard asked Jackie if he had read it yet. Jackie said he had gone through some of the book and saw where she writes about how she was losing it in every chapter. Gary said he could have helped her with the title of the book and he would have called it ''I Am Insane.''
Howard and Gary talked about the stuff in the book and how crazy some of it seemed. Howard said Robin wrote a bunch of things in there that no one remembered. He said it was like she remembered stuff that no one else did. Howard said he had to argue with her about some of the stuff about him she wanted to put in the book. Robin told him that some of the stuff could have been her own psychosis.
Next up we heard Gay Rich and Mike Gange talking about Robin's book. Rich said he enjoyed the book and talked about some of the stuff that was in there. He said he related to some of the stuff she wrote about. Mike Gange said that some of the stuff about Robin's father was shocking. He said she had hinted at it for years but never came out and said it.
Fred talked about how mind boggling some of the stuff in the book was. He said he won't make light of the molestation stuff. He said it was tough to take reading about it. He said he can't imagine ever doing something like that to a child. Fred said the butt fucking stories were interesting. He said that she talked about possibly becoming a stripper and having pictures taken topless. He said there are pictures somewhere out there of Robin before she had her breast reduction and he'd give the guy $50 if he came through with them.
They played another show clip where Robin was talking about how her mother didn't understand her book and the way she felt. She said she was kind of upset about some of that stuff. Howard said he's waiting for the day the book comes out to ask her more questions about it. Gary said he was talking to someone about the book and he was saying that now when he looks at Robin he thinks of her naked.
Howard said he was talking to someone about Robin's plans on becoming a porno star. Howard said he didn't believe that part of the book. Howard and Gary talked about how Robin had sex with a guy in a car and someone watched and she dug that. Robin said they're talking too much about what's in the book. Howard thought it would help sell books. Howard said Robin is very dramatic. She was saying that she was flirting with exhibitionism at one point and Howard said that was being dramatic. They talked about her having some pictures taken of her topless. Robin said it was an audition for a porn film. She had to strip down and a guy took a Polaroid of her. Howard said he didn't believe that for one minute. Robin said she was a different person back then. Jackie said he didn't think he'd believe that either. Fred said he read that page and put it on his chest and asked his wife ''What the hell is this?'' Howard said he had trouble with a lot of her book because he's known her for so long.
Next up we heard Jim Forbes talking about Robin's anal encounters being one of the most talked about stories she wrote about. Jackie talked about how he remembered how unprompted the story was. He said that it wasn't like they were asking her to tell them more. She just let it all out. Jackie said it was in some innocent place and she was having sex with the guy like 20 minutes after they met. Jackie was amazed that it didn't take any prodding on the show to get her to talk about it.
Robin said when you talk about some things on the show it's something that's there for prosperity. She said that they would do things on the show like that because they enjoyed it. Robin said that if you pretend that it's just them talking and no one else can hear it you don't think about everyone else hearing it. She said that sink story won't go away now though. She said she got a call from that guy she had sex with and he said that he had been thinking about her like she was thinking about him.
They played another show clip where Gary and Howard were talking about anal sex. Howard asked Robin about anal and what she does when she's going to have anal. Robin said she doesn't plan that stuff. She said that time she did it she didn't plan it at all. Howard said she makes it seem like she was raped. Robin said she didn't even know the person the day the day started. Robin told the story about how she met this guy and how he said hello to her as she was walking by him on her way into a store. She said that he asked her to walk with him and she went along with the guy. Robin said this was in 1978.
Robin told Howard that people were treating them like they were together so they just played along with it. They held hands and he had his arm around her waist. She said that they snuck into a bathroom and that's where they did it. Howard asked if they had regular sex. Robin said they didn't and it was the anal thing the first time. Howard said he's never heard of that being done the first time. Robin said she wasn't sure she wanted to continue this. Robin said she's not even sure if it was an accident or not. Robin said he started making out with her on the sidewalk and it was so hot she wanted to crawl up to her bed as soon as that started. Gary said it was great that she tried something that she had never tried before. Robin said she was shocked she enjoyed it. Robin said it felt too good and she didn't tell him that he was in the wrong place. She said the guy was big and he was just good at everything he did. She said he was the best lover she had ever had.
Howard said Robin was lucky she didn't have to go to the bathroom. She said she was lucky but you do that stuff at your own risk. Robin said that never happened again. Gary said that guy is the only guy who goes for that the first time. Robin said she thinks that the guy knew what he was doing because of the position he put her in. Gary said most women would ask ''Hey, what the hell are you doing?''
Jim Forbes said that Jackie used to do readings of Robin's book on the show. Gary talked about how they can beat someone's Achilles heel to death on the show. Jackie said he and Robin love each other and they loved to tweak one another on the show. Jackie said they were on the way to a book signing one day and he just started reading her book as Robin. Jackie said everyone was cracking up while he did that so then he started doing it on the show and people loved it. He said he could make Robin nuts on the show very easily. He said people don't fuck with each other anymore like they used to. He said you need that on the show. Robin talked about how Jackie had finally become entertaining on the show when he did that.
They played a show clip where Howard told Robin they were going to have Jackie read her book on the air. They talked about him doing that in the limo on the way to the book signing. Jackie said he was going to read from chapter 6 about ''The Two James.'' Jackie then started in with his Robin voice and read some lines from her chapter. He was cracking himself up as he read it. Robin thought he was adding things to the story but Jackie said he wasn't adding a thing. Robin was laughing at his read and didn't seem too upset about it. Jackie went on and on reading from the chapter. He had to skip over some of it. Jackie kept cracking himself up so Howard told him he has to stop that because it's funnier when he doesn't. Howard had Jackie read even more of the book. Jackie read the chapter where she talked about having sex with a guy and how painful it was. They went to break after that.
Jim Forbes said that a lot of celebrities wished that Stuttering John would rot in hell. That led to Stuttering John talking about how he felt bad about some of the interviews he's done. Howard talked about the Billy Crystal interview and how the still use clips of that to this day. Doug Goodstein talked about that Billy Crystal interview as well. He said Billy had them thrown out of the event after that infamous interview.
They played a show clip where Howard talked about Stuttering John's previous interview with Billy Crystal which was about 2 years before. Howard played that interview where John asked Billy what he thinks of Howard Stern. Billy said he loves Howard Stern. John asked if he had seen him as Fartman. Billy said he hadn't.
Howard said Billy thinks he's running show business and knows everything about it. He said that in this latest interview John asks Billy about his movie ''Mr. Saturday Night'' and some other stuff and he got upset with John. Howard played the audio and in the clip John asks Billy a couple of softball questions and then asks if there will be a ''Mr. Saturday Night 2'' and Billy gets upset and realizes he's from the Howard Stern Show. John asked how many years he was with his wife before he cheated on her. Billy told John he could take that back to him and shove it up Howard's ass. He said it wasn't fun when he was at a thing like that. He walked away not long after that. John figured they'd get thrown out after that.
Howard said he had to replay the interview. John said Billy walked away with the list of questions. Howard had a copy of the questions so he read through some of those. Howard said there were a bunch of questions for him. They weren't all that bad. Howard replayed the interview and dissected the interview a little more. Howard said they had actually tamed down the questions from what they were supposed to be. Howard and Robin goofed on Billy about getting so upset and saying that it wasn't funny to him. John had told Billy they were all big fans of his but Billy told him he wouldn't have insulted him like that if he really was a fan.
After that we heard current day Billy West talking about how comedians like to rip on other people but when it's them being ripped on they freak out.
Next up was a show clip where Howard was playing an interview with Jennifer Aniston. Howard didn't know who she was until John reminded him that she was on ''Friends.'' Howard said John asked her who she was and she got all offended. Howard played the clip and Jennifer said she wasn't anyone famous when he asked her that question. Howard said she thinks that everyone is going to know who she is after being on a show for one season. Howard said no one would know who she is if they took her off that show. John asked Jennifer some more questions but she kept on moving. John asked her what her name was again. John told Howard that she ran right out of the room when she saw him again. Howard said it was ironic that someone from ''Friends'' wasn't so friendly.
Jim Forbes said that they found out later that Jennifer Aniston had been on the show as a Nutri-System girl a few years before. Gary talked about how someone had written to him about the appearance and they tried to track it down. He said they were keeping very poor notes about the show so it wasn't so easy to find that show. Gary said he had to go back and go through about a year of shows to find that appearance. Gary said he was double parked on Broadway and he heard the clip and it turns out they really did have Jennifer on the show as a Nutri-System girl. Gary said that he remembers hitting on the girls that used to come in and he remembers thinking that she still had like 15 pounds to go at the time.
They played a show clip where Howard told Robin about this find that Gary had where Jennifer Aniston was on the show as a Nutri-System girl. Howard said they cut the clip down so they didn't have the whole thing. Howard played the audio from that show where he was interviewing this girl about what she did for a living. Jennifer told Howard that she was acting at this theater and she was giving him attitude so he told her she had to be taught a lesson. Howard said he was putting on his love voice so he must have been impressed at the time. Jennifer told Howard that she had lost 15 pounds in 6 weeks. She had been off of the system for 8. Howard said her breasts were full but she said she thought she had lost it all. Howard thought they were still B-cups at the time. In the clip Jennifer talks about her father being on ''Days of Our Lives'' and he plays Victor Kiriakis. Robin knew the character because she was watching the show at the time. Howard asked Jennifer some questions and said she had a very sensual pout. He said that it was like she had an animal loose in her underpants. Howard said it was nice to meet her and Robin wondered what her name was. Howard said he didn't care. Robin said maybe in the future they'd need to know when she became really famous. Jennifer told Howard her name was Jennifer but didn't give out her last name. She said she was a big time fan of the show back then.
Howard asked Gary how they remembered she was on. Gary siad it was one of the listeners who remmbered. He said that the person wrote in about it and reminded him. HOward said she bacame a big star after all of that.
Howard talked about how he felt that was a defeat at the time. He said he knows Mel had a business to run and he had to clear that stuff up. He said he remembers what the FCC did and how unbelievable it was. He said they essentially blackmailed Mel. Howard said Mel wanted to buy a radio station and they wouldn't let him do it until he paid off that $1.7 million. Howard said the FCC was going to hold up the license for that station until this was cleared up. He said they put tremendous pressure on the company to pay them off. He said they used that to blackmail him.
Fred said he felt it was extortion but he wasn't sure. He said it shouldn't have anything to do with running the stations. Fred said that they have to spell out what people can and can't say on the air but they weren't able to do that. Fred said that isn't American to him. He said it seems very communist to him.
Howard said it was one of the saddest chapters in the country's history. Howard said if Mel had fought it he thinks he would have won. He had to give in though.
They played a show clip where Howard talked about the FCC being paid off. Howard said that there were fans out there saying that he paid the FCC off but it wasn't him at all. Howard said the fans really stick with them through this stuff. Howard said he thought Bill Hoffman was a bright guy but he wrote an article about how ''Howard'' paid these fines. Howard read the article about it and they were saying that he was going to be paying off the fines. Howard said Bill is saying he paid them and this guy has to be a nudnik. He told Gary to get him on the phone so he can talk to him.
Howard went on to explain what was going on and how the FCC came up with this $1.7 in fines. Gary told Howard that Bill was out on assignment so he wasn't reachable. Howard said Bill had to have known he had nothing to do with paying those fines. Howard said it wouldn't have been so bad if they said that his boss was paying the fines. Howard said he would never pay the fines himself. Howard said he wouldn't pay for something he didn't do. Howard said the government is out of control and a lot of people think this. Howard said the bullies have won and he's lost. Howard said they've all lost because it's like they're taking away some of their freedom with this. Howard said the FCC shook down this company and the company tried to do what they could. Howard said they got jerked around plenty and he feels bad for them. Howard said he feels bad for the public.
We heard Steven Tyler talking about Stuttering John pulling one over on them when he interviewed them. He said the show is so real and that's why it's so great. They went to break after that.
They played a show clip where they did the Stanley Cup thing. Here's what I wrote about it when they played this clip in 2007 during a Mammary Lane special:
We heard Howard talking about how they were bringing the cup in and how people pose with the cup doing strange things. Howard suggested that they have Jackie make a doody in it. Claude Lemeiux was going to be bringing it in. Tom Chiusano came in and said that the cup isn't going to get any larger like Gary was saying it would. They were actually going to start taking off old teams from the cup.
Howard thought it would be funny if Jackie went to the bathroom in the cup. He told Jackie to just get up and go in it while Claude was there. Jackie got up and took the cup into the bathroom with him. He said he was really going to go to the bathroom in it. Claude didn't try to stop him either. He said that he hopes that Regis and Kathie Lee aren't listening. Howard asked Robin if she was attracted to Claude. She said that he was a very good looking man. She wouldn't say that she wanted to date him though.
Howard said that Jackie was really out there with the Stanley Cup. He heard that Tom Chiusano was standing out there next to the cup posing with it. Howard told Claude that Tom is the dumbest guy he knows. Howard called Tom in there and also had Jackie come back in. Jackie had really crapped in the cup according to Howard. Robin thought it was just chocolate. Howard told Gary to take it and go clean it up. Howard had taken a taste of it so it obviously wasn't real crap. Howard wrapped up with Claude a short time later.
They played a show clip where Howard was going to sing a song to Richard because he thought he was so special. Howard told Richard when he sees him in his short shorts and bent over he has these feelings for him. Howard said he does things that are very special. Howard said he loves the way Richard greets everyone and he sees him more as a target than a person. He said he aims for him with his friendship. Howard said he feels a closeness to him. Richard said Howard is just totally unforgettable. Howard said he loves it when he drags his penis to the Oldies. Richard said he was out of there. Howard told him to stay and then broke into the song ''Unforgettable.'' Howard sang to Richard and Richard sang to him.
Fred threw in some fart sounds an Richard demanded that they start the song over. Howard asked if he really thought he was going to sing that song straight. Richard said he promised he would. Howard started the song over again and this time Fred played the ''You dick!'' clip a few times. Richard said that was so awful. Fred threw in some fart sounds in the next verse that Richard sang. Richard wasn't happy about that. Fred threw in a bunch of farts and Richard kept telling them to stop. He was laughing though. Fred ended the song with a couple of ''You dick!'' clips and some more farts. Richard told him to stop it. Fred kept playing them even though Richard hated them.
Robin talked about how great Richard was as a guest on the show. She said some guests prepare for a show and Richard would come in with an agenda and he treated the show like it was the greatest TV show ever. She said that he would come in costume even before they had cameras in the studio. Robin said he would pretend it wasn't happening and it was the greatest dynamic. Joan Rivers also talked about how great Richard was.
We heard another show clip where Joan Rivers was on the show with Richard Simmons. Richard was telling her that Howard has been so mean to him since he came in. Joan and Richard talked a little bit and Howard talked to Joan's assistant Dorothy. Joan got in some plugs and talked about what she was going to be doing on her TV show. They were having fun until Howard said something wrong. Richard walked right out of the studio.
We heard Jackie talking about how Richard left the show like that every time. He would just walk out on them and he may have done that because there was no other way to get rid of him. Howard's parents Ben and Ray talked about how good Richard was on the show.
Gary said he's not sure what they did to Richard that kept him from coming back. He said he thinks he knows what it was that chased him away. He said it was the guy who called the show and claimed Richard used to hire him to spank him. He said that's the guy who says ''Daddy's girl's been a bad girl'' in the clip that Fred plays. Gary said he was good friends with Richard and he loved the guy.
We heard from Richard Simmons who was saying that it was all in good fun with Robin. Richard said Stuttering John was a sweet guy too. He said that John was good to him even when he was very hurt. He said John always had a smile on his face when he'd talk to him when he was trying to get interviews with him.
They played an old show clip where Howard had Stuttering John come in the studio to listen to play the interview he got with Richard Simmons. Howard said he hadn't spoken to Richard in 2 years and John finally got an interview with him. Howard talked to John about how Richard was looking and found out he was kind of fat. John told Howard that Richard was telling people not to eat the French fries at this place. Howard said Richard has been eating them himself. Howard showed Robin a picture of Richard with a double chin. Jackie said he looks like Delta Burke.
Stuttering John told Howard that he got an interview with Richard and he was in disguise so Richard wouldn't recognize him. Howard played the audio from that interview where John was disguising his voice. He asked Richard why Liberace hid his sexuality for so many years. Richard said he didn't know he did. John told Richard it was him and Richard said he knew that. Richard was talking about how good John looked and how different he looked in the disguise. Richard was asking John about his girlfriend and stuff like that to avoid answering any questions. John asked Richard to say something to Howard but Richard couldn't do it. He said he loves John and he just can't talk about Howard because it was too painful. Richard said he remembers the fun they had and he misses that. Richard said Howard hasn't called him in 2 and a half years. Howard said no one is calling Richard. He was a guest on the show, not a close friend. Richard was saying that it wasn't him. Richard actually helped name Howard's daughter Ashley. He's never been allowed to see that baby. Howard said it's like he's the mother of the baby and he took it away from him. Howard said Richard has no right to see the baby. He just helped name it.
Howard played more of the interview and goofed on Richard's Deal-A-Meal cards and the way the guy really eats. Howard said Richard is constantly eating and claiming that the stuff he eats is on his cards so it's okay to eat. Howard said Richard is almost fat again now. He played more of Richard and John's discussion and goofed on Richard some more.
Howard talked about the guy they had on the show who claimed he was hired by Richard to spank him. He played the clip of the guy saying ''Daddy's girl's been a bad girl.'' Howard said someone had to have said that line at some point. Howard said he respects that Richard has a sex life even if it is a bizarre one.
Stuttering John asked Richard one more question about why fat people smell so bad and Richard said they could kick him out now. John asked if he had bigger bowel movements when he was fatter and Richard said he knew he had to watch him. Richard said all Howard had to do was pick up the phone and call him and they'd get over this whole thing. John kept hugging Richard so Robin asked what was up with that. John said he was trying to get more questions in. Howard said he's not going to call Richard to make up with him. He told John the interview was funny.
Robin had a clip of another guy by the name of Bob Grossweiner. Howard said that can't be a real name. Robin said that was the real name and it was spelled just the way it sounds. They goofed on that name for a short time. Howard said that should have been his name. He said he knew a guy with the last name Uglynuts. Fred played some of Jackie's laughs while they were going through the story of Jerry Garcia's death. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said Colin Powell has been in nothing and hasn't served the public. Howard said you have to be a congressman or something like that. He wanted to give up on the argument but Robin was getting worked up saying that the country is going to hell in a hand basket and public service didn't mean that much to her. Howard told her she sounds like a kook and arguing just to argue is ridiculous. Howard tried to get her to stop arguing but she was going on and on. Howard said he didn't even know what the argument was about. Robin said that public servants don't do such a great job so why not try something new. Howard said she needs a reality check.
Howard said that they haven't even heard this guy Colin Powell talking. Robin said that saying he's not qualified to be anything is ridiculous. Howard said he's not sure why she's raising her voice over this. Robin said he's perfectly qualified for the position. Howard told her she needs to calm down over that. Robin wouldn't stop arguing. She said she wasn't going to discuss it anymore. Howard asked what day of the month it was. Robin asked if she wanted her to pull her pants down to show she's not on the rag. Howard said she must have fallen off a horse yesterday or something. Robin said she was going to move on but they wouldn't let her. Howard asked her what the next story was. She said they were making her out to be a lunatic.
Jim Forbes said that the staff fights were one thing on the air but once the E! cameras started taping in the halls they became something else. Scott DePace said that Howard loved to hear the tapes of the fights that were going on off the air. He said one of those moments was when Ralph threw a shoe at Stuttering John. Mike Gange talked about how the fights in the hallway would spill on air. He said that shoe throwing thing was one of those moments. Ralph talked about how he was taking a nap that day and Stuttering John was doing something to him and he jumped up and whipped a sneaker at him. He said he never does stuff like that but he wanted to punch John that day. He said John got all upset that he threw a sneaker at him and he wondered why John walked around doing nothing while being a douche bag. John said that Ralph got more hate mail than anyone on the show, even the KKK guy.
They played a show clip where Gary told Howard about the fight that John and Ralph had just gotten into. Gary said John had to play a practical joke on Ralph. Ralph was sleeping on the couch in the back because he's been sick. John went back there and woke him up with a couple of ''Boos'' and Ralph ended up cocking his fist back like he was going to punch him and then grabbed a sneaker and threw it at him. Then there was some bitch slapping going on too. The E! cameras caught it all on tape.
Howard had John come in and asked him what was going on. John said that they do stuff like that all the time there. Ralph came in and said he wasn't feeling good that day. He asked John why he had to be an asshole all the time. Ralph ended up storming out of the studio. John asked Howard why he wouldn't want someone to wake someone else up there. John said that they didn't really have a fight either. He said he could kick Ralph's ass no problem though. John said that if anyone else did it to him then he'd be fine. He said he'd never throw a sneaker at anyone. John said he knows he could beat Ralph up.
Ralph came back in and told Howard he was zoning out and he may have overreacted a little bit. He said if he wasn't so out of it then he wouldn't have reacted that way. Ralph told John he doesn't want to fight, he just doesn't feel good. He said he could have kicked John's ass when he first woke up though. Gary said it was pretty physical when they were going at each other.
John said that it was nothing major when he woke Ralph up. He said that was no reason to throw a sneaker at him. Howard said he thinks Ralph could beat John's ass. John said that's because Ralph is his buddy. Howard said he's friends with a lot of guys on the show and he thinks that John could beat a lot of them. Mike Gange came in and said that he thought John could have taken Ralph in a fight earlier. He saw what was going on there.
John apologized to Ralph and said he didn't know he was going to be so upset. Robin told him to continue doing what he does there. Ralph said John doesn't have to run around doing the show. That's Howard's job there. He told John he wouldn't have reacted like that if he was feeling better. It sounded like an apology but Ralph said it wasn't one. He was just explaining why he reacted the way he did.
Howard played the video where John was trying to wake Ralph up and Ralph gets up and throws the sneaker at him. They cursed at each other so much it was almost constant beeping with the censored audio. Howard said it sounded like Morse code. That led to Fred playing some Morse code audio.
They played a show clip where Howard was talking to Fred about his wife being in Tony and Tina's Wedding and how she wasn't home much since she was busy doing that. They talked about what might happen if she runs off with the co-star she's making out with every night. They talked about what the play was about and explained how she sucks face with this guy. Stuttering John said that he went up to the couple that were playing those characters at the play and told them they needed to use tongue and they started to do that. People can egg them on to do more stuff at the play because it's so interactive. Fred said that she's only gone to rehearsal so far and she hasn't had to make out with this guy yet. He said he won't be kissing her much if she's playing this part.
Next up we heard Steve Grillo talking about how scary that whole thing got with Fred and John. Fred said he thinks that he got set up. He said it caused some difficulties in his relationship at home. Fred said it's in the past now and he doesn't think about it. He said it's ancient history now. We heard from Stuttering John about that too. He said he doesn't get the hatred from Fred because he used to make fun of his stutter on the air all the time.
Next up was a show clip where Howard had Fred's wife and the actor she was working with come in to act out their scene. Here's what I wrote up in a ''Fight Week'' special from earlier this year:
The clip started off with Howard talking about the bonus show they were going to have. They had Fred's wife coming in to act out a scene from ''Tony and Tina's Wedding.'' Howard explained how she went out to become an actress but didn't get many jobs. She got into the ''Tony and Tina's Wedding'' play and now she makes out with another guy every night she's in that play.
Howard said he had Fred's wife on the phone and talked to her about the scene and she told him that it wasn't that big of a deal. Howard said they invited her down with the guy from the play so they can act it out on the show today. Fred said he was going to leave the room. He said he didn't want to see that going on in there.
Howard had Alison come in and said she was looking very pretty. Howard said the guy is a good looking guy too. Robin said he is cute and she has to make out with him every night.
Fred had the guy stand up. Robin said ''so what'' when she saw how tall he was. Fred was trying to point out how short he was.
Howard said that this is just a starter job for Alison. He said that this play that they're in can't be a real acting gig. He said that Stuttering John is in the play and he can't act so it's not a real gig. Alison said that the play has been running for 8 years so it is a real gig.
Fred said that Alison started wearing some cute clothes to work and he didn't really care what she was wearing to work.
During that clip we heard Robin talking about how wrong it was to have them in the studio doing that. She said they watched this thing and wondered how Alison could be doing this to Fred. She said that it also had implications in their personal life too. She said they didn't find that out until later.
Jackie talked about how he was in the middle of that and Fred wanted to kill John and not even the guy in the play. He said that John did it just to taunt Fred. Fred said that if you listen to the tape you can hear his uncomfortableness and anyone can tell he wasn't having a good time. He was trying to block this out of his life and not think about it. He said people were putting through phone calls and things like that to torture him. He said that's partially what the show is about but it didn't feel so great.
Doug Goodstein said that was very interesting to watch. Howard said he thinks that it could have ended Fred's marriage. Howard said they had a rough patch to go through and it was brought out on the radio..
Howard asked Alison if she gets turned on by this guy. She claimed she didn't but Howard wasn't buying it. He said that she has to be feeling something for him.
Howard asked Alison what she thought the first time she had to make out with him. She said that it doesn't matter, it's just an acting job.
Howard asked Alison and Patrick to show him the scene. Alison said she didn't want to do that because she's an actress. Howard said they had the TV show and they were on radio too so it was just like an acting gig. Howard said that they can do the scene for them.
Howard asked Patrick if he's ever tongued Alison. He said he didn't. Alison backed him up on that. Howard asked if her ass feels nice. He said that it is nice. Patrick also said that he finds her attractive.
Howard asked Fred how he was feeling. Fred wasn't too happy. Howard said that this isn't acting. Alison said that the scene is necessary and it's a little bit of improv but the kissing scene is part of the play. Howard told them to do the scene. Alison refused. Howard said that it's not acting, that's why she's refusing to do it.
Howard asked to hear some of Alison's lines. She gave him one and Howard figured that was all of her lines. She said that it was basically it but they have to improv some.
Howard asked Fred if he was upset about this whole thing. Fred said that he is and it would be different if it was a ''real'' play or movie. Alison said that she is still learning acting techniques and stuff and that's why she's still doing this play. Fred said that he hasn't even kissed that much since she started doing this play. Fred said they even stopped having sex as much as they used to.
Howard said that they must have stopped because Patrick is such a good looking guy. Fred said he didn't think he was any better looking than he is. Howard said that Fred isn't that good looking. Fred disagreed with him on that. Fred said he thinks that he's cuter than Patrick is.
Fred was goofing on Patrick and doing an impression of him. Then Patrick said that he gets to make out with his wife which pissed Fred off even more. Alison asked if this is what Howard wanted. Howard said that's exactly what he wanted.
Howard said that this is Alison's fault, not Patrick's. Howard told Fred that he's a whack job. Alison asked if she's embarrassing Fred by doing this. Fred said ''of course!'' Howard said he's just trying to do this to help Fred out but Fred didn't think that was the case either.
Howard said that Alison should leave the show and just go home and have Fred's baby. Alison said she's not going to leave the play. Howard said she doesn't think that Fred is really upset about this play.
Fred said he does tell Alison that she's more talented than what this show is and he thinks she should be doing something else. Howard told Alison that she's not an actress. She insists that she is.
Howard said that no one wants to be a Long Island housewife even when that's what they are. Howard said that's what Alison is.
Howard said that Alison and Jackie's wife Nancy and other wives out on Long Island want to go out and do this kind of thing but it's all nonsense. Alison said she's trying to make her own money and asked Howard if that's so wrong. Howard said that if Fred wasn't on the radio Alison never would have gotten that job and she'd be back to being a waitress.
Howard wanted to see the scene but neither of them were willing to do it. Howard said he wanted to do the scene with Alison instead. He wanted her to teach him how to do it. Alison didn't want to do that either. Robin said Alison has become one of those women who comes in there to get topless and then says they can't do it.
Howard asked for some details about the scene that Alison and Patrick do to figure out what they can do. Patrick told Howard about that and then said that he and Alison fit together very well in the scene. He was saying that his crotch is about at the right spot when they're next to each other.
Howard tried to get the scene going by playing Patrick's part but Alison wasn't doing it. Robin asked Alison if she would do a love scene in a movie if she got the part. She said she might.
Stuttering John came in and said that they should ask Patrick about him getting aroused during the scene. Howard asked him if he does. Patrick said that it should be as real as possible so of course he does. Howard asked Alison if she gets worked up too. Alison said she doesn't but Howard thought she was lying. Howard figured they'd be divorced in 2 years.
Howard said that Fred is his friend and he knows his personality and that he doesn't know how to communicate. Howard said that he just knows how he is and that's why he's trying to speak for him.
Fred said he's not being fair and he would like to be able to tell his wife how he feels. He said that it is her choice to do what she's doing though. Fred said that if he thought that she was getting off with this guy then he'd do something about it. Fred said that he's not threatened by this guy at all no matter what they think about him.
Fred said that this guy has no passion in him at all. Robin said that they were talking about the guy getting turned on, not about his passion. Howard asked Fred if he would get aroused if he had a scene with Amy Lynn. Fred said he probably wouldn't. Howard asked if he gets aroused at Scores. Fred gave him a ''no comment.''
Howard asked Alison and Patrick to do their scene but they still weren't going to do it. Howard told them to just do it because that's what an actress and actor would do. She eventually agreed to do it so Howard told Fred to leave the room while they did it.
Howard asked Alison to go ahead with her scene. He had Patrick and Alison do the scene. They went into it and Patrick was playing the part of a guy trying to pick up this woman who is now a nun. They even did their kissing scene but Patrick said he wasn't able to do it. Robin said that Alison wasn't getting into it the way she should have. Howard said that it was cheating.
Howard said that it was one of the hottest sex scenes he's ever seen. Howard said he wasn't going to say anything else. Robin said that Alison was actually fighting him off at one point. Howard said he wanted to kiss her when he saw that.
Howard asked if he could do the scene with Alison. He went over and tried to do what Patrick had just done. He was trying to get into it and then told Jackie to give it a shot. Patrick told the guys to take a number.
Jackie said he wasn't going to even try. Stuttering John came in and Fred said that he can't touch his wife or he's a dead man. John told him he was nuts. He and Fred ended up threatening to take their fight outside. Alison told Fred to relax. Howard told John to get out of there.
Howard asked Billy West and Gary if they wanted to do the scene. Billy said he wasn't an actor. Gary said he wasn't an actor either.
John was wondering why Fred was all mad at him. He wasn't sure why he was freaking out about the scene. Howard told them they're nuts, he just had a great scene with Alison.
Howard asked Fred why he wasn't letting John do this. Fred said that no means no and he just doesn't want him to do it. Fred said that he was going to leave the show if John did that. Howard said that if he leaves the show they're both going to be out of work when they fire Alison. Fred said that's fine with him.
Howard said that Fred says that he won't rain on his wife's parade but now he's saying he won't let John do this scene. Fred said that's where he draws the line.
Howard said that Alison smelled good and his hand brushed up against her breast so that was a great scene for him. He asked Patrick if he likes those cans on Alison. Patrick said ''Oh yeah!'' Howard told him he's got a great job where he gets to rub up against those things every night.
Howard found out that Patrick's understudy is even better looking than Patrick. Howard said that he thought that Alison was really in love with Fred and now she's going out and doing this. Fred said that she wasn't working in the business when she first met Fred. Fred said that he's the one getting the business from her now.
Howard told Alison that this isn't a joke and she should think about this. He said that it is up to her but Fred isn't happy with the way things are going and he has trouble communicating that.
Howard thanked Alison and Patrick for coming in and wrapped up with them. Howard also asked Fred if it was okay for John to do the scene. Fred told him to go ahead and try. John was ready to fight him over it. John said that he'd fight Fred any day and he thinks that Fred has too much confidence. John threatened to bite that big nose off his face. Fred said that he didn't scare him. Howard said he did too because he didn't make out with his wife.
Howard said he had to drop all of this and end it. Alison asked if she could do just one thing. Howard told her that Fred doesn't want to kiss her now. He told her to hold off on that. They ended the show after that, right around 9:50am.
Jim Forbes said that Howard was working on the follow up to his book Private Parts. Two months later he made the announcement.
They played as show clip where Howard showed Robin a picture of him sitting on the lap of a Michael Jackson impersonator and then announcing his second book was coming out. Howard said he made that impersonator put his hand on his legs. Howard also told Robin about his meeting with Michael Jackson and how great the story was. The story will be in his new book which would be out in November. Howard said he's writing this book for Harper Collins and he's sorry he agreed to do it. Howard said he's written two chapters so he has a lot of work to do. Howard said the words are coming slow and hard. He said he has a bunch in progress and only two done. Robin said it needs some polishing.
Howard told Robin about some of the stuff he's written. He said he took the sex transcripts from when he was on Prodigy having cyber sex and turned them into chapters. Howard said he wrote that up and he has it sitting in his briefcase. He said he's so embarrassed by it that he doesn't want anyone showing it to his kids. Howard said the book will be very unique and have an interesting look to it. Howard said that the Michael Jackson meeting story is really cool. He had a 2 hour meeting with the guy and it's a great story.
Howard said he started on the book 3 months ago. He said he screwed off for 3 months. He said he has another interesting chapter about something that went on for over 20 years. He's waiting to write that chapter last. Howard said that should be interesting too. Howard said there are no stories like Robin's stories in the book though.
Next up we heard current day Howard talking about how he only had 4 months to write that book. Mike Gange said that it was very rushed and they needed people around the clock working on it. They had do a lot of stuff to get the tapes and transcripts to Ratso and everyone else.
Ratso Sloman said that Judith Regan didn't decide until well into the year that they wanted this book out by Christmas. He said they were doing corrections overnight and you just don't do that with a book. He said it was crazily insane. Ratso said he had 3 days to work on each chapter. Ratso said he had to just work 12 hours straight to get the book done. Howard said he and Ratso were really close during the writing of that book. He said he went out for a bike ride one day and he saw a guy laying out there that looked like a dead body. He said he went back to get Ratso so he could see it. Ratso said Howard got really paranoid and tried to find a gun. Gange said that they went out in the car to find this body and took a car there. Gange said it turned out to be a shirt laying in some weeds. He said he didn't think anyone could mistake that for a body. Ratso said it was like a hunting jacket or something. He said your imagination can run away with itself when you're working so hard on the book. Howard said he thought the story would never go away. He said he went right on the air with it after that.
They played a show clip where Howard was in the middle of the story about the dead body thing. Howard said he turned the corner and the guy was still laying there. Howard said they stepped closer and closer and Ratso tells him it was a rolled up sleeping bag. Howard said he was so embarrassed by that. He said he just about died of embarrassment. He said it's a good thing he didn't call the cops. He said he thought about firing the guys that were with him so they wouldn't tell anyone what had happened.
Next up we heard Ratso talking about the way they laid out the book and how it was a little too busy for the time they had to do it. We heard Howard talking about how he wrote the Michael Jackson story in like an hour. He said he had to go back and get tapes of the show to remember what went on during the show for some of the stuff so it was a lot of work to do in 4 months. He said it was very ambitious. Ratso said they were so rushed that the back cover of the book was an optional cover for the book that they put on the back.
They played a show clip where Howard talked about naming the book. He was talking about how he thought about calling it ''The Second Coming'' and having a crown on his head. Howard said they won't let him do that so he got kind of upset about that. Howard said they won't even let him be in a picture praying. Howard said he thought the name was kind of sexual and kind of a pumped up religious thing. He said now he doesn't want to do it because they're giving him such a hard time about it. Howard said they called him back and said that he looks too much like Jesus. Howard said he asked if Jesus was a big gork. He said he has to come up with a new title and he's willing to take suggestions. Howard said he thought about Private Parts and then said ''Sloppy Private Parts'' but they said no to that. Fred threw out ''Sloppy Seconds.'' Howard liked that one. He said he'd like to call it ''Anus'' so it would be Howard Stern's Anus. He said they'd ban the book though. They came up with some other book names like ''Howard Stern's Number 2.'' They talked about how funny it would be to talk about piles of Howard Stern's Number 2 sitting in the book stores.
Next up we heard Judith Regan talking about the ''Getting Away with Murder'' title with the OJ and Howard picture on the cover. She said that they had a lot of names for the book and Howard loved coming up with them. Judith said every name was fabulous. She said they should have done a dozen and put out each cover. She said the fans probably would have bought them. Judith said he used a lot of the titles for the chapters instead.
Howard said his father used to call him Miss America when he'd come down the steps at home and he thought about what a terrible thing it was. He said he didn't like that but these days he says he'd never name it that. Howard said that was the point he was at back then though. He said it was like he was giving over to that time in his life when his father would call him that. He said he's not sure why he went with that for the book.
They played another show clip where Howard was talking about the book name and how the book company needed one immediately so he just went with ''Miss America.'' He said he thought about it long and hard and almost went with ''Harper Collins Sucks'' for putting so much pressure on him.
Jim Forbes said that the cast of the show ended up doing a photo shoot in drag for the book. We heard Howard talking about how they thought it would go along with Miss America but that really had nothing to do with the title. Judith said that Howard loved getting dressed up as a woman so they went with this whole tranny thing. She said that he dressed up in a few different colored wigs and he loved it. She said Howard may be a lesbian. She said Howard was finally able to realize that dream of becoming that person.
Ralph talked about how each person looked and how awful most of the guys looked. He said Scott the Engineer was just gross. He said he was a mess. John was funny and didn't look hot even though he tried so hard.
Scott the Engineer said that he was the ugliest woman ever. He said they gave him high heels and they were really hard to walk in. He said he had a lot of fun doing that photo shoot though. Scott said that they just didn't work at transsexuals.
Jackie said there are no photos of everyone together and this was it. He said it was the book photo shoot that had everyone in it. He said it was the gayest thing he ever did and he still vomits looking at Gary. He said Gary looks like a real girl from the South Shore and it's gross.
Billy West talked about how they shaved his chest and tried to give the illusion of a cleavage. He said it was great fun doing that photo shoot though.
Judith Regan said that was one of the highlights of that book. Ralph said Howard started to take off the make up after the photo shoot and he said it was a bizarre shot so he had the photographer take some with the make up half off. That ended up being one of the pictures they used for the cover. Judith said that Howard was kind of worried about his armpit hair being in the pictures and thinking that the guys would be grossed out by it.
They played another show clip where a caller was asking what Howard could have possibly written about in this second book. Howard told the guy to just check it out and he'll see. He said that he doesn't want to give away too much. He said it's actually 50 times better than the first book. Howard said he wouldn't just say that either. He said it's very revealing. Howard told the guy how great the book is and how only Gary knows just how good it is because he helped put it together. Gary came in and told Howard what he thought of the book. He said it really was great and even better than the first one.
Gary told Howard when he wrote Private Parts he wrote it the way he wanted and now he's found more confidence with this one. Howard said he just spilled his guts with this book and he found it easier this time. Howard said he and Judith worked on what he was going to write about and she'd tell him to just go home and write it and that's what he did. He said it just flowed out. He said he's really proud of this one.
We heard Ratso talking about how they could have made that book even better if they had more time. He said he felt that the cyber sex story went on a little too long. Howard also said that chapter did go on a little long but at the time he was into that stuff. He said he reads it now and figured he'd take out about 7 or 8 pages. He said it was a good follow up book though. Ratso talked about going into the chat rooms on Prodigy and wonder what to write about as they were doing that chapter.
They played another show clip where Howard was talking about being all positive and changing his ways. Howard said he wanted to just be positive. He said he won't be making fun of anyone. He said he's turned over a new leaf and he's going to be Mr. Positive. Howard said he's going to change his name to Mr. Positive. Howard was talking about how he has cancer and he's dying and he doesn't care. He said he's just going to let himself go. He told everyone he loves them and the one thing he wanted from Robin was for her to just give him a little something. She said that wasn't going to happen. She asked him what brought him to the hospital. He said he had stomach problems and a lot of diarrhea.
Robin didn't believe Howard at all. Howard said he had to take a break and then he'd get back to it. He said he's not going to be negative about it.
We heard William Shatner talking about how Howard has gotten better and better every year and he's a great interviewer. He said Howard has a lot of years of experience and it's enormous. They went to break after that.
Howard and the guys were doing their Jackie impressions and goofing on him about the story. Billy West was doing his Jackie impression and making Jackie the guy who crapped on the plane. Fred was playing the sounds of an airplane flying while Billy was doing his Jackie thing. Fred threw in some fart sounds to go along with the crapping too.
Jim Forbes said that one week later, on November 1, 1995, Billy West made his final contribution to the Stern Show. We heard Robin talking about how great Billy was on the show and how he was great to work with until those money issues came up.
That led into a show clip where Robin was reading a story in the news about a rape that had happened in Japan with some of our military men. Howard said they should just take it and if they don't, we should just bomb them every year on the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor. They went over that story for a minute and Howard talked about how we have to watch them like a hawk. That led to Billy West doing his ''Red'' character and talked about how we can't let them repeat their attack on us. Red was talking about Judge Ito being a Jap spy. He talked about how they don't have any souls and they have slots for eyes. He talked about being in Okinawa in WWII and what that was like for him. Billy started to crack himself up as he was talking about that stuff. Red said the color yellow makes his red blood boil. He said he even steps on Canaries.
Robin read about Whoopi Goldberg being the host of the Oscar's that year. Red had some things to say about Whoopi. He said he'd like to see James Brown beat her. He said she looks like she's already been beaten. Robin read another story about a woman who was suing a magazine over some pictures they had of her that showed her fat. Red said they had to grease her up just to get her in a cab. Red also said that she's the one who eats Lasagna with a snow shovel.
After that we heard Jackie talking about Billy leaving the show. He said that they didn't discuss it and he didn't know what had gone on. He said he loved Billy though. Don Buchwald said that Howard didn't know that Billy was leaving. He said that Billy and his people were dealing with the station and didn't talk to Howard about it.
Gary said that he and Billy would go out to dinner and stuff and they had a great time doing it. He said he thought he had a great relationship with him and then one day he came in and told him it was his last day there. He said he talked to him a little bit about it and Billy didn't give much information about it.
Steve Grillo said that he would go through bouts of paranoia himself and he would think that he was going to get fired. He said one day he thought he was going to get fired and he saw Gary with his face on. He asked him if he was going to get fired and Gary told him that Billy West had just quit and all of his anxiety just left.
Billy West said he didn't think leaving was that big of a deal. He said the show was great with or without him. He said it was all about money and he doesn't understand why anyone would have an issue with him leaving to do something where he can make money.
Tom Chiusano said that they had a budget and Billy wanted a lot of money. Billy said it killed him the way they handled the whole thing. He said that management treated him in a weird way and it was like a good cunt, bad cunt thing. He said he couldn't believe he even said that.
We heard Howard talking about Billy leaving and how the company was using him for many things. He said he was so talented and he thinks that he's doing very well out in California now. He said he's not sure since he doesn't hear from him anymore. He talked about how valuable he was to the station too.
Scott the Engineer talked about how great Billy was on the show and how he wanted to go out and do other things. He was working on a lot of cartons and his voice over career was taking off at the time. Scott said it eventually turned into him doing Space Jam with Michael Jordan so it worked out very well for him.
Robin talked about how Billy had greater ambitions for movie and TV work and New York isn't the best place for that. She said there were money issues too and Billy wasn't being compensated enough by them.
Billy said he didn't look back when he left. He said it didn't kill him to leave and he knew he had to walk alone to get there. He said he heard a few things where he said he knows the look he would have gotten from Howard and how fun it would have been to have been doing that with him. He said it was a very free feeling and there's nothing like that.
Next up we heard a show clip where a caller (That would be me) asking Howard what was up with Billy. Howard said ''Billy who?'' and pretended he didn't know who I was talking about. Another caller asked if Billy was gone. Howard said he wasn't there that day.
After that we heard Jackie saying that people were asking where Billy was and no one was talking. Steve Grillo said that everyone wondered where all of the characters were on the show and they were pissed he was gone. Robin said that they had to fill in the show with all of that missing stuff and just had to move on. Gay Rich said the show went on and moved forward. Tom Chiusano said that Howard is the most important person on the show and it continues to go on after that.
We heard another show clip Howard was asked about Billy again. Howard told the guy that Billy left the show after coming to him and telling him he was on his way to California. Howard said there was no scandal there.
We heard Howard talking about Billy leaving the show and how he didn't know exactly what happened. He said he wanted to keep the guy around and he knows that he's going to always be missed. Howard said he might have to pick up the phone and asked him why he doesn't come on anymore. He said they've invited him many times. Howard said he'd give Billy time on the show if he wanted to do it a couple of days a week. Fred wasn't sure if they would have him back on or not. He said he might have enough F-You money that he wouldn't do it. Gary said they've asked him to come back a bunch of times. He said he's done asking him about it. Gary said when he's ready to come back, he'll come back.
Scott the Engineer said that Billy must have some resentment for the show and he just won't come back. He said he's not sure why he has that hostility and anger. He said they'd love to have him back. Howard said he'd love to have Billy on the show again.
Billy West said it was a great part of his life but he felt he was worthless to the whole thing when he was working there. He said that was proven with management treating him the way they did. He had a lot of anger toward them and maybe not with Howard and the rest of the guys. Howard said Billy was a lot of fun to hang out with and he's very nostalgic for those years.
They played a compilation of the great voices that Billy did on the show over the years. They had him doing Al Michaels, George Takei, Marge Schott, John Cardinal O'Connor, Pete Fornatel, Larry Fine, Joe Walsh and many, many others. They went to break after that.
Judith Regan said that the real Miss America pageant folks came after them legally and they started to send letters to them. There was nothing they could do because it was a parody. She said that they felt it was a sacrilege for them. She said they had no sense of humor. Don Buchwald said that they couldn't block the book because it was just satire. Howard said that he wasn't sure why they'd even pay attention to him. He said the idea that they tried to block it was a public relations dream. He said it was probably all good.
Public Relations guy Dan Klores said that it was a good thing for the book when they came out against it. He said he would do stuff like that on purpose if it was his client. He said that's exactly what you wanted them to do at the time.
Jim Forbes said that on November 7, 1995 Howard's book came out. He had dedicated that book to intern Steve Grillo. We heard from Steve who said he was having nightmares about the book and how Howard probably bashed him in it. He said when Howard opened the box and called him into the room he thought he was going to get blind sided with the negativity. He said he heard Howard read the dedication and he didn't know what was going on. He was very confused about it all and it was the most surreal moment in his life. Steve said it still doesn't make any sense to him to this day. He said it was one of ''the most nicest things'' that anyone has ever done for him and it may never be topped.
Thy played a show clip where Howard said he was going to give the first copy of his book to Steve Grillo. He had Grillo come into the studio to read the dedication. Steve read it very nervously. Steve was getting choked up reading it. He was all nervous about the whole thing and said it was really nice. Steve said the word ''Debt'' as ''debit'' so Howard goofed on him about that for a short time. They spent a couple of minutes goofing on Grillo. Howard said he almost dedicated it to Lonnie from Scores.
We heard from some of the other interns like Gay Rich who Howard had also dedicated the book to. rich said that he cried when he read that dedication. Mike Gange also talked about that and said he felt he should have been thanked more because he was working his ass off at the time.
John put someone on the phone who had a problem speaking. Howard tried to understand what he was saying and it was very hard. Gary told Howard he had CP not knowing that the guy had actually smoked crack and stroked out. Howard said he'd let him come in and get his book signed too. Howard said he can't deny someone with CP to get his book signed. Stuttering John was laughing at the guy who would later be known as Crackhead Bob.
We heard from Howard about Crackhead Bob being first in line at the book store. He said he would sleep out there for days. Gary said John recognized he'd be good and put him on the phone. Gary said Howard said they had to meet him and that was the birth of a wack Packer. He said it's always best when someone isn't trying to be in the Wack Pack and they find them on their own.
Scott DePace talked about what a mess Bob was at the time and how it was actually kind of sad when you saw him. Howard talked about how great Crackhead Bob was on the show. He said finding out about his life was fascinating. He actually stroked out two times from smoking crack and it makes you wonder what would drive a guy to do that. Howard said in some way it helped his life getting him on the show. Howard said he never exploited the guy.
They played another show clip where Crackhead Bob showed up in the studio for the first time. Howard still thought he had Cerebral Palsy before he found out about the crack. Howard said he was a CP dude. Howard said he was in a wheelchair and everything. They had Bob come in and Gary said they were trying to convince him that he didn't have CP and he was just drunk. Howard said he thought Bob was in a wheelchair but he wasn't in one when he came in.
Bob told Howard that he smoked crack and got messed up. It was hard for him to tell the story so the guy he came in with helped him out. The other guy said that Bob told him what had happened to him and it took him like 3 hours to figure it out. Howard said he thought it was CP from the way he looked. Robin said that can happen from getting messed up. Howard asked Bob about how old he was when he got messed up. Bob had to count it out on his fingers since he wasn't able to just say ''25.'' He was later able to say ''two'' when Howard asked how many books he bought.
Howard asked Bob about his marriage and found out he was married for 13 years. He wasn't able to say the number but he was able to spell it out with his hands. Howard said that crack must have been a good high. Bob said it was good before he had the stroke. Robin asked how old the kids were. He counted them out as well. Howard asked the guy what his name was. Bob said it was ''Bob'' but the guy who came with him said his real name is actually George but he's able to say Bob easier. Bob said that it was ''George Harvey.''
Don Buchwald talked about that meeting with Michael Jackson. He said that Michael came into the room and the description that Howard had couldn't be better. He said the nose was what he remembered the most. don said that the nose was flaking off and there was tape over it. Don said there was another person in another room and they thought they were going to be alone with Michael and this guy Sandy. Don said he wasn't able to look at Michael or he'd break out in laughter. He said it was about as bizarre as it could be. He said he had no business being there.
Ronnie the Limo Driver said he drove them there and he wasn't told anything about it until after Howard had met with Michael. He said he thought Howard was full of it when he heard that.
They played a show clip where Howard talked about the chapter he wrote about Michael Jackson. He said that they backed up that story in the paper that morning. Howard said Michael collapsed the night before and the rescue workers said that the make up was so thick on his face that they had to peel it off. Howard talked about the piece of tape he wore on his nose and how weird that was to him. Howard said it was white surgical tape and it would hang off his nose. Howard said he heard that seeing him wearing that tape was very unusual in front of anyone but his family. Howard said he heard that from Latoya Jackson. Howard said Latoya thinks that he wears that tape to keep his nose looking centered on his face. Howard said it's not easy to understand someone who is so whacked out.
After that we heard Howard talking about how he kept that meeting a secret for a while. Howard said that Sandy Gallen was Michael's manager at the time and he felt bad about writing about that meeting. He said it was too good of a story to tell though. Howard said he didn't think that Sandy was upset about it. That's not true according to Dan Klores who says that they had an agreement that Howard would never talk about it. Dan said Sandy was right.
Howard said that chapter was the easiest thing he ever wrote. He said that it just came right out and he didn't have to rewrite it like he had to do with other chapters in the book. Judith Regan said that chapter was the best chapter ever and she thinks that it should be put out as a short story. She said that it was Howard's interpretation of Michael Jackson that was so great. She said that it was genius.
Jim Forbes said they put the book out with many other things in it like a Fartman script excerpt. We heard from J.F. Lawton about that and how Howard put in the opening of the movie into that chapter.
They played a show clip where Howard was reading a letter he got from a guy who tried to buy the book from a small book store who sold him a book with what he thought was vomit in the middle of it. The guy said that it turned out to be excrement. Howard didn't believe it was true. Howard said the guy gave his number so they could call but he wasn't sure he wanted to. Howard tired calling the number and got the guy, Damian, on the phone. the guy asked what he should do about the book problem. Howard said he'd probably have a hard time proving it actually happened. Howard said he didn't believe the story but the guy said it was true. He said he read up to page 67 before he found this lump in it. Howard said it can't be true. Damian said that he had a girl crap in a shirt of his that he gave to her to borrow. He's like a fecal magnet.
Damian said that he didn't read any of the book and the part about reading up to page 67 was a joke. Howard said he had better stop changing his story. He said he's starting to sound like Mark Furman. Howard told the guy that if this really did happen then he can sue the book store. The guy said he complained to the store. Howard kept saying that he didn't believe the guy. He told him to get a DNA test done on it.
We heard a clip of Artie Lange talking about someone asking him to write a story for another book and Howard gave him some advice to keep it for his own book. Artie said that's the best advice because you should keep it for your own book. Artie said that the other guys would get the press and Howard was right about that when he told him about that. He said he's glad he kept it for his own book because that story is in there. They went to break after that.
After that we heard Tom Chiusano talking about how he liked both of Howard's books and it was a testament to his talent. Tom said he had the fastest selling book at Simon and Schuster and they were great for what they were.
Jim Forbes said that not everyone was pleased with what Howard wrote in Miss America. Gary said that they all got a copy of the book and they went home and read it that night. They all came in the next morning and not everyone was happy. He said Jackie was upset about what Howard wrote about him and Howard tried to smooth things over. Jackie said that he liked what Howard wrote about him. He said Fred was the one who was upset with Howard. He said Howard wrote some stuff about Fred that really upset him. Jackie said he liked that Howard said ''Fuck Jackie'' to start that chapter off. Jackie said he was flattered over that.
Gary said Fred wasn't happy and a lot of people confronted Howard on that. Fred said he didn't think it sounded familiar to him when he read that chapter. He said things didn't jive with him and he questioned that on the air. Fred said maybe it was the surprise factor that led to him responding the way he did.
Jim Forbes said Robin had trouble remembering the blow out over that book. They had Robin talking about how sometimes you have to forget about stuff that happens and the beauty of what they do is that they fight and they get it out and forget about it.
They played a show clip where Howard asked the guys if they had read the book. Fred said he was still going over some of the stuff in the book. Jackie said he still wants to read Fred's chapter and see what he said about him. Jackie said Howard was like good cop/bad cop writing nice stuff and then writing negative stuff. Howard said Judith thought that he was too nice to some people. Robin said he wasn't very nice to her.
Robin said that she read the part about her, Jackie and Fred and she felt sorry for her and Fred. Fred said he was actually humiliated. Howard said he didn't think it was bad at all. Howard said he loves Robin and he wrote about how good he feels about her. Robin said that Howard never faked any illnesses to get away from her. Howard said he did too. He said when she was really mentally ill he did do some stuff to get away from her. Howard said he figured out how to handle her and he'd tell her he was sick and she'd mellow out. He said that worked. Robin didn't believe it was true. She said that he had combined some arguments together in the book that were years apart. Howard wasn't sure what she meant. Robin said that it was two conversations from two different discussions.
Howard and Gary talked about the stuff he wrote about Gary too. Gary said that there was a paragraph that changed in the book and it was edited down to one sentence. Howard said Judith edited that down because she said he was being too nice to him. Gary said there are like 18 pages dedicated to him and none of it is flattering and then it comes down to that one sentence and it was edited down.
After that we heard Scott the Engineer talking about how he wasn't surprised by anything in that book. He said Howard can tell and spin a story to his advantage. Ratso Sloman said that Howard revealed some very personal things like his OCD. He said that blew him away. Ratso said that Howard had real torment with that and it was great to hear him telling that story. Ratso said he remembered Howard doing stuff that was related to the OCD and he realized where that all came from.
Judith Regan said that she thinks having OCD gets him to be compulsive about his work and that's why he works on it over and over again to get it perfect. She said that Howard talks about just about everything and anything.
Howard said that he remembers talking to his agent about the book and his agent thought he should hold off on talking about the OCD thing in the Private Parts book. Howard said he held off on it until he wrote Miss America when he was ready to talk about it. He said he had gotten rid of it thanks to Dr. Sarno and he wasn't so embarrassed by it by that time. Howard said it was a secret to everyone and even himself. He said that he didn't want to recognize he had it.
Howie Mandel talked about how honest the Howard Stern Show is and how that's why he likes going on the show. He said he came out of his mental closet on that show with his own OCD. He said that's why Howard's show is the best radio there ever was.
Ratso talked about how honest Howard is and how unusual that is. Ratso said the books were really Howard's private parts.
They played another show clip where Howard was still arguing with Robin about the Miss America book. He said Jackie was asking him about the OCD chapter and questioning that. Robin had read the letter in the back of the book that a listener had sent in. Howard said the guy put together an incredible essay where he analyzed the show as if he was Hitler. Howard said the guy pointed out the similarities to him and Hitler. Howard and the guys talked about that letter. Jackie read some of the letter and said there were some similarities there.
Jackie was also telling Howard that everyone has a little bit of OCD and he didn't think Howard's was all that bad. Robin said that she believed Howard's chapter because he did allude to it a couple of times over the years. Howard said he swears on his kid's lives that it was all true. Robin said she believes it's true but it wasn't that serious of a case. Howard said it was serious and it was getting progressively worse and worse toward the end where he got rid of it. Howard said Robin is very hostile toward him about this.
They played a news report where they talked about some promotion they were doing for the Miss America book where they gave some stuff to homeless people to sell so they could keep the money for themselves.
Next up they played a show clip where Howard played a clip from David Letterman's show where they had James Earl Jones reading a passage from his book ''Miss America.'' They had Jones reading from the cyber sex chapter. Howard and Robin got a laugh from that. Howard said he wanted to do the audio book with James Earl Jones. He said that was pretty funny. Howard had to replay the clip because he enjoyed it so much. Howard had his mother on the phone after that. He asked her why he hadn't heard from her about the book. She wasn't happy with the book. She said the first chapter was too much for her. She said that they don't see Howard in this book and she didn't believe that he did the stuff he says he did. Howard told her not to read his book then. Robin told her that when it upsets her she just stops reading it.
Howard's mom said that she was told to read the Michael Jackson chapter so maybe she'll do that and give up after that. Howard told his mom that the cyber sex chapter is the way men think and it's something they have to do. He said that every woman should read it because it'll put them in touch with what their husbands are feeling and doing. Howard said there was nothing exaggerated in that chapter. Howard's mom told him to stop writing about this stuff because he has daughters to think about. She said when you put it down in writing it's just too much. She said it's all about sex. Howard said she's very uptight and he's obsessed with sex. He said that's all he thinks about. Howard's mom told him he needs to think about something other than that.
Howard said he knew his mom wouldn't like that chapter. Robin said he should have warned her. Howard said he did warn her that the book wasn't for her. He said that he delayed giving her a copy of it. Howard said she's more into ''The Bridges of Madison County.'' Howard's dad got on the phone so Howard asked him what he thought about that first chapter. Ben said that it was a little too deep for him. He said that he's not into that kind of stuff. Ben said he's an old guy now and he's at a different stage of his life sexually. Ben said some people might get off on that but that doesn't mean he's into it. Howard asked if he got turned on by the chapter. Ben said he really didn't. Howard said he doesn't think they have sex more than once every two weeks. Howard's mom said it's quality, not quantity. Ben said that he has a smile on his face even if it is only once every two weeks.
Ben talked about some of the stuff he read about like the OCD chapter. He said that came as a big surprise to him. Howard said he kept it secret from everyone. Howard said he was suffering from a mental illness and he didn't want to tell anyone. Howard's mom said that he never did any of the stuff he claims he did. Howard said he did too and he didn't bother anyone with it. Now he's cured thanks to Dr. Sarno. Ben asked why he dirtied up a room if he had trouble cleaning it up. Howard said that this disease hit him when he was 19 years old. He said there must have been something in him before that but he noticed it at that age. Howard told his mom he'd prefer that she doesn't believe that. He said she can believe whatever she wants. Howard's mom said that maybe he'll write another book and he'll write down what he really feels. Howard said this book is what he really feels. She didn't believe that.
Howard said he writes books for people who want the nitty gritty from him. Howard's mom said goodbye to him like she was done with him. Howard said she's a piece of work. Howard said he's a messed up guy and she failed in her mission. She told him to have fun and called him ''Howch.'' She continued to think that he made up all of this stuff. Howard said he'd happy with her thinking it's all made up. That's the way he wants it. Howard said he's glad he made that call this morning.
They played a show clip where Howard said he signed about 6,000 books in 5 and a half hours. He said his thumb got a blister from signing the books. Howard said he signed every book he said he would. Howard said every one who got in line by 12:30 got their book signed. Howard said he was only signing ''Miss America'' and some people were upset about that. He said that they figured he signed over 6,000 books. Howard said the line was amazingly long. Howard said it stretched almost a mile from what he was told. Howard said he got out in his dress. Robin said that made it to TV. Howard said he had Ralph sweep his hair up and put on some lip gloss and eye liner.
Howard and Robin were talking about some of the stuff that was going on around the book signing. Howard said it went tremendously well. He said the NYPD did a great job controlling the crowd and getting him to the signing. Howard said they must have had 60-70 cops who were helping out. He said there were fans meeting up and having sex with other fans. Howard said he was signing breasts and bellies at the signing too. He said he's doing another signing the next day and he was going to sign every book there.
Howard said they gave some homeless people some Miss America danglers and they were allowed to sell them and keep the money. Howard said Ralph was getting yelled at every time he came out. They had some ''I Hate Ralph'' buttons there at the signing. They also had some huge ''F-Jackie'' posters for the fans.
Next up we heard a news report about the book signing and how hundreds of fans showed up out on Long Island to get their books signed.
After that we heard some people talking about the next book signing which was in Philadelphia. There were a lot of people waiting in line and Fred the Elephant Boy got laid thanks to that book signing. One girl asked Howard to sign her tit and he signed away. The guy talked about how another girl had her ass signed and went down to a tattoo place to get it permanently done.
Lonnie Hanover said that they had some Scores girls in a bookmobile going around and helping with the promotion of the book. He said the girls were reading chapters from the book to the fans in front of Madison Square Garden. He said it was a mob scene and the girls were surrounded by guys. He said it was crazy and Howard told them to go somewhere else and they were mobbed again.
They played another show clip where Howard was begging the NY Times to be fair to him and put him on their best seller list where he belongs. He said he never believed that they could mold a story the way they're doing it. Howard said that the best seller list is something you don't tamper with. Howard said there is no doubt that they've tampered with the list. Howard said he had a memo from Judith Regan about this. He read that list and she said that they put Howard fraudulently in 2nd place under Colin Powell's book. Howard read some of the details about how there was no way his book wasn't at number one. Howard read the numbers of books that he sold compared to Colin Powell's book at some of the major retailers. Howard was beating him at least 9-5. Howard said he wanted the audience to know because he's really upset about it. Howard said it's partially his ego but he also wants people to know the way they can manipulate these numbers. Howard said they're doing wrong and he's pointing that out. He wonders if they're being paid off or manipulated in some way.
Jim Forbes said that with the overwhelming success of the books they asked Judith and Ratso when book 3 is coming out. Judith said they have told Howard they want him to do another book. Judith said that Howard never gave in... unfortunately. Ratso said that he's talked about doing a third book but Howard seems to think he has to wait until he's off radio before he does that so he can say what he thinks about everyone. Ratso said that they may have to wait for him to get off the air. Judith said she thinks Howard may have a couple more books in him. She said he's got an incredible mind and he's one of the most gifted people she's ever worked with. They went to break after that.
Gary said they had to sneak the girls in so no one would know that they were doing this lesbian thing. Don Buchwald talked about the rehearsal in the green room and how they had to hide the girls in the bathroom when Jay came back to say hi to Howard. Gary said he had the girls get in the shower and hide while Jay was in there saying hi. Don said that they got right back to rehearsing until Jay showed up again to say one more thing.
They played a show clip where Howard was talking to the guys about doing the Leno show and how he snuck the girls in. Howard said Jay kept coming in and they kept hiding the girls in the bathroom. Howard said the girls were having some champagne and stuff while they waited. Howard said he wanted to see what Jay would do when he brought the girls out.
We heard Howard and Gary talking about what happened that day and how they never showed the real thing with Jay Leno walking off his own show saying he couldn't do it anymore. Howard said someone should dig up that tape and show it.
They played the Tonight Show clip where Howard was introducing Jay to the lesbians and Jay was kind of freaking out. Howard told Jay that he was going to help him beat Letterman that night with his ratings. Howard said neither of them have stellar ratings at that time of night. Howard said he came out to give him a lesson on getting ratings. Howard told Jay he has to take his advice and do what he tells him. Howard told Jay that there have been lesbian kisses before but not on the Tonight Show. Howard said he could get him a 15 share that night with the kiss. He had the girls kiss and Jay said that showed how sexually naive he is because he thought Howard was going to be involved in some way. Howard said he has put out tapes before like Butt Bongo Fiesta and people love spanking. Jay told Howard all of this was going to be edited. Howard wondered why they would edit it out. Jay said it just would be. Howard told him to just give it a try. Jay said it was beyond his control. Howard went through with it anyway.
Howard and Gary talked about how Jay walked off the set after that went down. Don Buchwald said Jay walked off and NBC edited the show so they didn't show that. They also edited out a lot of what happened with Howard and the girls. Dan Klores didn't appreciate the stunt either. Dan said that he fucked him with Leno because he had been a friend for years and they didn't tell Jay they had this surprise. Dan said that Jay is a comedian and all they had to do was tell him they were going to do that.
They played more of the Tonight Show clip where Howard asked Jay if he was okay. Jay said he wasn't sure. Howard plugged his book ''Miss America'' and Jay told him that the lesbian thing won't be on the air. Howard told the fans that Jay had a melt down during the break and told him this wasn't going to be on the air.
After that we heard Jackie talking about how it was all a dance. He said they bring Howard on to do something outrageous and then they freak out when he does. He said they all know what Howard is going to do but they freak out over it. Jackie said that it was very innocent with two girls kissing. Howard said Siskel and Ebert even freaked out over it because they were on the show the same night.
We heard an interview clip where Siskel and Ebert were asked about the appearance and why they gave it two thumbs down. Siskel and Ebert talked about why they felt it was wrong.
Next up was Howard talking about Jay freaking out back stage that night and going off on him about how everything was about pussy with him. Gary said that Jay was pissed that night. He said he was on his way to leave and Jay asked to speak to him. Gary said it was an odd scene because Jay was standing there in front of everyone and he was yelling at him while the entire staff was filing past him. He said Jay told him that Howard had come there and shit on his carpet. Gary said he was the last one to talk to like that because he had nothing to do with it. He was just there to watch.
They played a show clip where Howard was broadcasting from the Monkey Bar and talking about the Tonight Show he had done the night before. Howard said Jay had a fit after that lesbian thing. Howard said Jay didn't talk to him for the last 15 minutes of his own show. Howard said he sat there but he should have just left. Howard said it was a strange night.
we heard Gary talking about how Jay had called in and denied that it went down the way it did. Gary said he was full of shit but he didn't say that on the air at the time.
They played more of the show where Howard was doing the broadcast from the Monkey Bar and took a call from Jay Leno. Howard said Jay panicked on his show. Jay said he didn't panic. He said that he wanted to know what he was going to do on the show, that's all. Jay said he wanted some idea of what was going to happen. Howard said they had cleared this for doing on Saturday Night Live. Jay said that's not true and the censors told him that they weren't going to let him do that on SNL. Jay said that Howard is the only guest that they get worried about over there and they usually tell them that it's okay and he'll be fine. Howard said Jay doesn't know what's good for the show. He said Jay was the only one who wasn't enjoying that show.
Howard said it was one night that he was out of control and it's not a big deal. Howard said that it's not a big deal that Siskel and Ebert couldn't get to their review of ''Casino.'' Howard said it was entertaining when Jay got up and ended the show early. He said they should have run that instead of editing it out. Jay said he has to take the heat for what happens on the show. He said he also didn't yell at Gary off the air. He said they were claiming that he was yelling at him and he didn't do that. Jay told Howard that he likes him and he went back stage and saw him without his sunglasses on and sees a different person. Then he comes out with the sunglasses on and he can't see his eyes and he's a different person. Robin said it's all about the sunglasses then. Jay didn't want to keep going with that if Robin had it all figured out.
Jay and Howard went back and forth talking about what happened on the show. Jay said he likes it off the air when they're talking and maybe not so much on the air. Jay said he likes Howard and he knows that he's a regular guy when he talks to him back stage. Howard said all he did was have a couple of girls kiss and it was a lot of fun. Howard said they were having fun even while Siskel and Ebert were doing their thing. Howard said they got upset about that and it was a horrible and boring moment with them so he made it a little more fun.
Jay said he didn't think he had overreacted at the time. He said he saw people giving him cut signs and stuff and he had to look for other shots. Howard asked Jay if he got aroused. Jay said that didn't do anything for him.
Gary said that Jay was talking to him after the show and he was telling him he was upset that an audience member walked off the show. Howard said that he's not tame and if people walk out then they shouldn't have him on at all. Jay said he didn't say he wasn't going to have Howard back on the show. Jay said that they are what they are and they do their shows differently. Jay said he thinks that Howard didn't want to come to him with what he was doing on the show because he knew he'd shoot it down. Howard said that was the reason. Jay said he wouldn't have shot it all down though. He said some of it would have been shot down. Howard said the reaction was great and if he had told him about it ahead of time then he wouldn't have had a great reaction to it.
Jay told Howard why he has to do things the way he does. He said he's not the boss of the show, he has bosses above him that he has to deal with. Howard said he knows Jay is still pissed. He said Jay didn't even say goodbye to him. Jay said he went back to the green room and he was gone. Howard said he wasn't even talking to him by the end of the show. He said it was great stuff and they didn't air any of it. Howard said Jay was telling him that Dave would never let him do that stuff. Howard said he has to think about his own show and not about Dave's show.
Howard wrapped up with Jay and said it was just another chapter in their history. Howard told Jay to be okay with the old biddy walking out of the show. It wasn't Jay's fault, it was his own. Howard told Jay that when something different happens it's good for the show. He said that it doesn't have to be the same stuff night after night. Howard wanted to let him go but Jay said he knows he's just going to trash him. Howard said he's not going to do that. Howard said they should do a show where they just do something to freak Jay out every night.
Jim Forbes said that Howard crossed paths with Angie Everhart out in California at the Monkey Bar. We heard from Angie who was talking about how she never really listened to the show. She said that she gave Howard a picture of Johnny Cash giving the finger. She said she thought it was the right thing for Howard at the time. She said she laster asked him if he still had it and he had gotten rid of it.
They played the show clip where Angie appeared on the show for the first time. Howard talked to her about the Jay Leno appearance. Angie said she heard from her brother about the lesbian kiss thing. Howard said he got a standing ovation when he went out and Jay doesn't get that without prompting from the director. Howard said that must piss Jay off. Angie said she did the show a couple of weeks before and she gave Jay a prosthetic tongue that they both put in their mouth at the same time. She said Jay didn't have a problem doing that.
Angie said she had a picture she had to give him. She gave him the Johnny Cash giving the finger picture. Howard asked Angie if she would date him if he was single. She seemed interested and said she probably would. Howard said she needs someone who would worship her and he's that guy. He said he'd do all kinds of stuff to satisfy her. He said his tongue would be her panty liner.
Howard talked to Angie about going out with Sylvester Stallone. She said that he saw her on a magazine cover and found out a way to contact her. They talked about how they only dated about a month before anyone even knew about it. Howard asked if he was good in the sack. Angie didn't answer so Howard figured he wasn't. Howard talked to her about what went wrong in the relationship. Angie said she wasn't sure. She just didn't want to talk about it. She said that things just didn't work. She said she ran away from the press after that because they kept hounding her.
Howard and Angie spent a few minutes talking about her dating Stallone. Howard tried to find out about the sex and how that was. She said it was good. Howard told Angie what he'd like to do to her too. Howard wrapped up with her a short time later. They went to break after that.
They played a David Letterman show clip where Howard came on to promote his Miss America book. Dave introduced him as ''America's worst nightmare... Howard Stern!'' Howard showed up dressed as a woman. Howard said he wasn't even sure why he was dressed like that. He said he was there to promote the book and he figured coming out in drag would be fun. Then it became more. He had shaved his legs for that. Howard said Dave was staring at his breasts. Howard told Dave he figured he'd shave his legs but then he started to do a pedicure.
Howard told Dave he went on one show and did a lesbian kiss thing and all hell broke loose. Howard said he had something big for Dave's show too. He said he still maintains that gay kissing is huge and then had two gay men come out. Howard told Dave his ratings will go up because of this. He had them kiss after getting a drum roll from Paul and the band. Howard said during the commercials he thought about how great it was when Drew Barrymore gave him a dance on his desk. Howard did the same thing for Dave since he was dressed as a woman. Dave left his desk to get away from that.
Dave said there were giant, greesy footprints all over his desk. Dave gave Howard a plug for the book and tried to talk about that. Howard didn't understnad how he coudl go back to that after what he had just done. Howard said he loves that peple have enjoyed the book adn thanked them for helping make it teh big seller it was.
We heard from Howard about the movie deal and how he had hooked up with Ivan Reitman to do it. Howard said he had the right idea for how to make it happen. Howard said he had the right idea and he wasn't even looking for the job. Ivan Reitman talked about the book and how he thought it would be better for him than Fartman. Ivan said the struggles Howard had were very good for a film and he remembers meeting with him about how the movie should go and pitched that to him.
Howard said Ivan was the only one who could pull it off and that's what he told his agent Don. Don said that he went out to L.A. and he was walking up the sidewalk and ran into Ivan Reitman waiting in front of a beauty parlor. He said that he asked Ivan if he wanted to be hooked in on Private Parts. Don said he had to tell Ivan why they needed him and he made an appointment to meet with him the next day. They talked about the potential for how he could become involved in the movie. Ivan said he didn't remember that meeting but he remembers him trying to talk him into the Fartman thing. Ivan said he remembers pitching it to Howard and telling him how it should be a documentary about Howard with Howard playing himself. Ivan said the whole struggle thing was a great story for a movie. Ivan said he didn't remember Don pitching the movie to him, he remembers pitching it to Howard.
Ivan said they had a broader version of the movie being written but he got Lenny Blum and another guy involved to write the movie. Howard said Ivan put Lenny on the movie and he's an amazing writer. Howard said Len started staying at his house and he'd go off and write after talking to him. They came up with this wonderful script and they knew it could be a great movie if he didn't fuck it up.
Don said that the script came in about 2 months and they had something to go with. Ivan said he was busy at the time so he didn't have time to direct the movie. They found that Betty Thomas was available and she was a great person to direct. Howard said he liked her work on the Brady Bunch movie and the Late Shift movie she had directed so he was happy with that choice. Howard said he liked working with women too so that all came together.
Judith Regan said Howard may collaborate with women better because he's actually gay. She said that he may be secretly gay and he may fear that they're going to eat him so he listens to what they say. Judith said she thinks that he really fears women and that's why he listens. She said he's worked with her the same way gay men have in the past. Judith said most men she's worked with are gay or wildly artistic.
Jim Forbes said that on February 13, 1996 Howard made the big announcement. That led into a show clip where Howard was talking about this big announcement he had to make. Howard said that there are a lot of douche bags and scumbags out there who don't think he can succeed. He said there are some in that room as he speaks. Howard said he's had a noble career. He explained why and talked about everyone who has taken him on in the industry. Howard said he has beaten them all. He said that today he gets his due. Howard said that he's been asked where his movie is and he's been telling the press that he wasn't going to rush it. Howard said every movie studio courted him and none of them had a movie. Howard said they told him to come up with a movie. Howard said he went with New Line and they wanted him to make Fartman but that deal didn't work out. He said he had to stand his ground with them and tell them that the scripts were no good. Howard said they wanted all of the merchandising too and that wasn't going to happen.
Howard was standing up and yelling about all of this stuff. Howard said he sat there like a big dope for a couple of years. He said the scripts just weren't good. He said that the Private Parts thing wasn't working either. He said that they sat him down and told him that the scripts were good but he stood his ground again. He said they started printing articles about how difficult he was to work with. Howard said he wanted them to make a good movie so they'd make money. Howard said the movie had to have legs. Howard said he's not a dentist but he knows that Gary's teeth are bad. He said he doesn't need to be in the movie business to know a script is bad.
Howard said he made friends with Ivan Reitman who has worked on some huge movies. He directed ''Dave,'' ''Meatballs,'' ''Stripes,'' ''Twins,'' and many more. Howard said that this guy is a big player and he's maybe in the top 3 of directors. Howard said Ivan had ideas for the movie and he said he wished that he was the producer of the film. Howard said he stood his ground again and said he wanted Ivan to be part of this movie.
Howard said he had the entire team of Private Parts people and they were in production for Paramount Pictures. Howard had Ivan Reitman, Betty Thomas, Len Bloom and some other people come in. Howard said there were a lot of producers on the movie. He said Ivan is like the main producer and there were other guys who were producers too. Howard said it was a very exciting day for him. Howard said they're actually in production now. Ivan confirmed that. Betty had a camera with her to shoot some stuff at the studios. Howard talked about Betty's work on ''Late Shift'' which was an HBO movie. Robin had seen it and said it was amazing.
Howard gave a rundown of Betty's credits and talked about a bunch of the stuff she had worked on for TV. She also did movies like the Brady Bunch Movie. He said she did ''Late Shift'' with Ivan. Howard said Lenny wrote ''Stripes'' and ''Meatballs.'' Howard said he never thought the book could be made into a movie but Ivan had the idea and told them how they could do it. Ivan said he never thought about the book as a film when he read it. He said that came up later on. He said he and Howard had talked before the Fartman thing even came up and he thought that Howard should do a movie about his life all along. Howard said the script is great and he thinks it's going to be great as a movie.
Howard talked to Betty about the production schedule and how that was all going to work. She said they were still in pre-production and they had to do the storyboard stuff. Howard said he drew out some story boards himself. He showed the picture that he had drawn for them and it was his giant nose. Howard told them to shoot up into his nostrils. He asked what they wanted him to change as far as his look. Betty told him not to touch his hair. Howard said that he was going to take the blue out of it. He had blue streaks at the time.
Ivan said they should have about 9 weeks of pre-production. Betty said it was going to be 10. Howard said Lenny went off and wrote the script in like half a year. Lenny said that you can't just toss it off in a couple of weeks. Howard said that Len is a funny guy because he wrote Meatballs and Stripes. Len said he helped write those movies. Howard said he spent time writing it and Ivan was helping him out. He said Ivan was much more involved than just reading the scripts. Howard said Ivan doesn't take writing credits but it sounded like he did help write it.
Howard said he'd see the scripts and would want to go out and make the movie. Howard said that Ivan would tell him it was only 60 percent there and they had more work to do on it. Howard said he thinks they're at about 95 percent now. Ivan said they were going to start shooting the first week of May right there in New York. Howard said May Day will be his Heyday.
Howard talked more about everyone who was in the studio. The other producer was Danny Goldberg. Howard spent a short time talking to them about how great he must be to work with. Ivan said he thinks that this will be a wonderful opportunity to experience Howard Stern. Howard said it has to be good for the fans and for everyone else. Howard said he thinks the movie will gross $150 million. That was just the domestic number. Ivan said they have to make the movie work everywhere. Howard said everyone was euphoric over this. He said he's never seen Ivan so excited but maybe that's because he never sees them. Howard said he had to take a break and then take some phone calls about the movie.
Howard said that Betty has a woman in mind for his wife in the movie. Howard said he has another person in mind. Howard wasn't sure he'd go with Betty's choice. Howard said Robin is going to get to work with Betty and Ivan too. Howard said he hates all of the scumbags who said he could never do this. He said they were over budget already and they had only gone to lunch so far. Robin asked what the budget was. Ivan said it's millions but didn't give an exact number.
After that we heard Jim Forbes talking about how Howard realized what he had actually gotten himself into. We heard Howard talking about how he had a confidence that he could do this and realized he didn't know anything about what he was doing. He said he had never acted in anything but some goofy sketches. He said he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to pull it off.
Howard said they were going to leave everyone in suspense now because this was the end of The History of Howard Stern: Act III. Howard said he had to thank the whole tapes team that worked on this special. He said he really appreciates the work they did and said that they have more specials coming in 2010. They ended the special around 11:20am.