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Howard started off the show talking about how he won't be commenting on the merger because he doesn't believe that it's happening yet. He said he'll believe it when they're actually on XM. He said that he has a whole speech he's going to make when the merger actually goes through. He said that if he hears that they're going to be on XM and that they have major league baseball on there, then he'll know it's going through.
Howard said that no one is saying anything to him about the merger and he really has no idea what's going on with it. He's not sure why that is but it could have something to do with paranoia over what happened a few years back when there was supposed to be an investigation to see if he was some kind of weird mastermind.
Howard said that he is in the dark about the whole thing. He said that his cousin wrote to him and congratulated him on the merger but it still hasn't gone through. He said that his cousin Richie is a great guy who is really into family and everything but he didn't know why he was congratulating him about the merger. He said that nothing has changed in his life yet so he's holding off on commenting.
Howard said he has a million thoughts that he has on this whole thing but he's holding off on saying anything. Robin asked what it takes to make a merger now that the FCC has approved it. Howard said he doesn't know, no one has told him anything. Howard said that there is no celebration today. He said there may be one some day but nothing today.
Howard told Robin to calm down over there with her smoothies and said that there's no reason to add champagne to them yet. He said that until someone walks in there and does something to show that they're on both services, he's not believing it. He said that he and Oprah may have to make an announcement together. He said he will do that with his penis inside of her.
Howard went on to talk about how he saw Oprah with an alcoholic drink last week and the drink was huge, like something that a cow would be drinking. He said that she had to hold the glass with two hands when she was drinking it. She was apparently on vacation and the photographers caught her drinking that huge thing.
Howard said that he went on vacation one time with about 5 other guys and they have paparazzi over in that place that Oprah was at. He said that a paparazzi guy fell out of a tree when he was checking out of his hotel. He said that they just wait for celebrities to show up so they can take pictures and they camp out in the trees.
Howard said he saw that Brad Pitt just bought some kind of villa over in France and he's not sure where he gets all of this money from. Artie said that he heard he makes a lot of money by doing endorsements over in other countries. He said he heard that he got 30 million just for letting some jeans company put his name on their jeans.
Howard said he heard that some paparazzi were sneaking into his house to get pictures of his new kids. He said that the paparazzi guys can get a couple hundred grand if they get those pictures. Artie said it would be great if they had ugly kids together. Robin said it would be great if just one of the two twins was ugly. Artie said hat he wants them to have a 400 pound kid and some day that's the girl he's going to want to fuck.
Howard said that he got an e-mail from Mel Karmazin at 3:30 in the morning recently and he asked him what's going on. Mel said he didn't know and also said that he doesn't know what sleep is.
Artie said that about 4 months before Howard announced he was going to SIRIUS he got a call from him asking him what kind of deal he had there at K-Rock. Artie said that he thought that was odd and he and Dana ended up talking about satellite radio and maybe that's where he was going. Artie wondered if that would be considered insider information. Howard said that if he had gone out and bought stock it may have.
Howard said that he doesn't even understand the stock market that well. He said that if Artie knew that he was going to satellite, he doesn't get why there's a guarantee that he's going to make money. Just because he's going there doesn't mean that he's going to make the stock go up.
Howard said that his statement on the merger is that he's not making a statement today. He said he's got people waiting for him to make a statement and he's just got nothing at this point. He said that Kidd Chris called him asking when he was going to say something because he thought he was going to say something last week. Robin asked what Chris is up now. Howard said he's not sure but it sounds like CBS is holding back on paying him even though he had a contract with them. Artie said that he might be opening up for him at Levy's comedy club next week.
Howard said that he doesn't respond to rumors and he's going to wait until the deal is all done before he says anything. He said that he's not making any statements.
Artie said that he heard that DJ AM was making like six figures to do 12 Saturdays a year. Robin told a story about another DJ that was making a million a year doing the same type of thing. Howard said that if that's the case then he's not going to bad mouth the guy.
Howard said that there are so few people who can act so well that they get big parts and they end up screwing up their lives and go down the wrong road. He said that he'd lock himself in a room if he had a career like this Shia kid. He said that he didn't have time for nonsense like that. He didn't even have the money to spend on drinks or the time for nonsense. Howard said that this Shia LeBeouf kid may not ever be in another hit movie again. You never know what's going to happen in your career.
Robin said that he is taking his career for granted because there are people working really hard to make it in the acting business and it just doesn't happen.
Gary said that JD got the song this morning but didn't' think it was all that funny so he didn't forward it to Howard. Howard said he'd give it a listen as soon as JD got it to him. He kept Daniel on the phone so he could wait to hear his thoughts on the song.
Howard asked Gary why JD is the arbiter of good songs there. Gary said that he's not, he got the song too and didn't listen to it yet. Gary got the song for Howard so he finally got to play it. They had a lot of Ronnie's Scoresman audio clips in the song.
Howard said that he was going to go with JD on this one. He said that they do some great song parodies but this one sounded like it was just a sound track behind Ronnie's Scoresman rants. He said that it wasn't all that funny. He said that he does have to applaud them for trying it though. Daniel said that he's not sure how Dan the Song Parody Man does the songs he does because he tried with a bunch of songs and they just didn't work. Howard said that Dan gets a clunker now and then too.
Howard told Daniel not to give up. He said that they have sent in a lot of great songs over the years. Daniel got in a plug for a show they're doing on August 9th at the Key Club out in L.A.
Howard said that Dan the Song Parody Man is on a roll right now and the past 3 songs he's sent in have been clunkers. He said that Dan has been using the same guy to sing the songs and they're just not working. Gary said that he had Scott working on getting those songs to him.
A caller told Howard that they should have thrown in a chorus about Ronnie instead of just having Ronnie's clips in there. Howard said that maybe they should take the song and sing the words with Ronnie. He said that they could make it an anthem or something. Daniel said he was thinking of that but he gave this a try instead. Howard told him not to give up on this one.
Howard played the ''Four Foot Old Angry Jew'' song parody about Ronnie that Richard made. He gave that one as an example of a good song parody.
Gary told Howard he had the song parody he was talking about. Howard started to play the parody which was about sticking a scrotum in Robin's mouth to the tune of Sister Christian. Howard played a few seconds of it and said he actually liked that one. Then he had another one that was about Robin, with the same guy singing, and it just didn't work.
Howard thanked Daniel for the song but told him to go back to the drawing board on that. He said that even the Rolling Stones never batted 1000. He said that they had a couple of clunker songs too. Howard went on to talk about how he beat a guy in chess who was ranked 300 points higher than him. He said he was walking around like he was the king of the world after that. Howard said he played a guy the next day who wasn't even ranked in the 1500s and he got slaughtered.
Daniel said that he'll work on the song. Howard let him go a short time later. Artie was throwing out some comments about Billy Squier who had a few clunkers on his ''best of'' album. That led to them talking about his career and some of the songs that he had that were hits. Gary said that he actually had a box set out and he thought the guy was out of his mind. He didn't have that many great songs.
Howard said that Lisa went ballistic when they asked her about this. He played the clip of her talking about how pathetic they were for going over this little thing. Lisa was saying that it's no big deal. Howard said that it is a big deal. He said that if you take a piece off the cupcake, just take the whole thing.
Howard said that Sal was caught taking the whole top off the cupcake after looking around. He said that if Lisa wants to discuss it with him then she should come in. He said that he does have a problem with that and they're not just nit picking.
Robin said that she's seen people do stuff where they'll stick their finger in chocolates to see what's inside of them. Howard said that he doesn't know where people's hands have been and he doesn't need them touching his food.
Lisa came in and said that she doesn't touch the cupcake, she just took the Snicker bar off the top. She said that she has taken the cupcakes back to her desk but it usually just sits there. Howard told her to just take the whole thing or go to the vending machine to get a Snickers instead.
Lisa told Howard that if everyone just ate a little piece of a candy bar, instead of the whole cupcake, they'd be thinner. Howard said that's not up to her. Howard asked Lisa if she has ever purged. She said that she never did but Artie didn't' believe that. Artie told her that she's a weirdo and it was like she was saying that he was the one who shouldn't be eating those cupcakes when she made that comment earlier.
Howard said that he was reading an article in the paper about a rule in the Hamptons that wasn't letting people do little shows and stuff out on the sidewalks in front of the shops there. He said that the town is right for not allowing that because people can go out and walk around without being bothered by that kind of nonsense. He said that they have to keep law and order and he understands the rules. He said that anyone who wants a cupcake can have one, just don't touch it and leave it there. Howard said that he gets why they don't want people doing stuff in front of these stores out in the Hamptons.
A caller told Lisa to just cut the cupcake in half if she doesn't want the whole thing. He also said that Sal thinks that he can piss on everyone and he takes every chance he can to get things. Howard said that Sal is like a sly little fox when it comes to that kind of stuff.
Howard said that he is very disciplined himself so he never bothers with those cupcakes. Robin said that she doesn't take them either and she can walk by and not bother with them. Artie will walk by and take one though. Artie said that he's heard of these electricity germs that jump off your hand when you go near stuff and that's why he's disgusted with that stuff.
A caller said that they should be going off on Lisa the same way they did to Sal last week. Howard didn't seem to think that they had to go off on her any more than they had. He did replay her clip from last week where she was yelling at Ronnie and the other guys in there. He said that she was on fire that day. Howard said that Lisa also doesn't sneak around doing it because she doesn't feel she was doing anything wrong there.
Howard said that he hates these magazines that have little text written on pages and stuff written sideways. He said that they claim that's what people want but he thinks that's why they're all going out of business. He said that even MAD Magazine would drive him nuts when they'd draw stuff in the sides of the pages. Howard said that the writing is too small on some of these magazine pages and they don't have to make every page a Picasso.
Howard said that he still likes Rolling Stone for music information. Artie said they used to be so cool but now they're not that cool. Howard said that he doesn't like reading on the web, he'd rather hold a magazine in his hands. He said that he brings stuff into the bathroom with him and will read his Munsters book or something like that. He said that he doesn't read for long though. He said that he also reads a chess book while he's in there.
Howard said that he reads Rolling Stone and GQ for men's fashion and gadgets. He said that you have to just thumb through the magazines and find pictures of stuff you like or you'll be there all day reading. He said that it has to hit you really fast and you have to wonder if you really give a shit about what you're about to read.
Howard said he reads Hamptons magazine too. He said that it's a local thing since he has a house out there. He said that people should read local magazines too. Howard said that he doesn't read any business magazines, he gets that stuff out of the newspaper.
Artie said that Vanity Fair is a great magazine too. He said that he will read that on airplanes and stuff. Howard said he's sick of Playboy now. He said that he sees so much porn anyway that he doesn't need the magazine. He said that he does like the articles in there but the girls are no big deal.
Howard said he beat off last night while watching Strap On Sally with Gina Lynn in it. He said that she really does something for him and he loves to watch her movies. He said that Gina was doing a girl with natural breasts in the movie and he could tell the chick wasn't into Gina. He said that it looked like Gina was into it but not the other chick.
Howard said that he watched one scene where two girls were soaping each other in a shower. That's when he finished. Howard said that he likes that his DVD player goes right back to the spot that he stopped it at. Artie said that there must be some kind of memory that makes it do that. Robin said she didn't believe it did that.
Howard said that he also reads a lot of tabloids like the Enquirer, People, The Globe and many others. Artie said that his mother loves the tabloids too and he'll check them out if he sees a hot chick on the cover.
Lisa got back to her news preview and said that Bob Levy's fight with Danny Bonaduce has been moved around to a couple of venues. She said that it's now been moved to the Marble Sports Arena in Pennsylvania. Howard said that he doesn't care if this fight is fixed or not. He said that Danny is going to kill Bob. Artie said he doesn't know about that. Howard said that Danny is a trained martial arts guy and he's going to kill him. He said that Danny is out of his fuckin' mind and he's going to kill the guy.
Howard said that he likes Bob a lot and he's a lovely man but he's not sure this is a good idea. He said that Danny has fought competitively and he's going to punch Bob in the face so hard he's going to go down with one blow. Howard said that Bob is an older guy and he's going to go down. Artie joked that he was 58 and Howard believed it. Artie said that Bob is actually only 45 or 46. Howard said that he believed the 58 and he thought he was shaving off a few years there.
Howard said that Danny is going to hurt Bob even if it was a scripted fight. He said that they're not choreographed fighters. Danny is going to go in and just say fuck it and punch the guy in the face. Artie said he thinks that it's more evenly matched than Howard thinks. Howard just said ''No'' to him when he heard that.
Sal came in and said that Bob was off the booze for a while but on Saturday night he fell off the wagon and got so wasted they had to peel him off the floor. He said that Bob can fight and he can give Danny a good fight.
Fred said that Bob is going to get his ass kicked if he's never done boxing before. Artie said he's worried about Bob and this fight. He said that he just got married to a woman in Cleveland on a Wednesday and clogged the shitter at her parent's house.
Artie said that Bob didn't talk to him last week after he said he wasn't going to do the gig at his club. He said that Bob talked to him through Teddy instead. He said that he would have called Bob if he was going to back out of doing that gig but he's not going to do that. He said that he's doing the gig and Bob could have called him.
Sal said that Bob is looking better now than he ever has and he's trying to stay straight while he's training for this fight. He said that Bob is donating $6,000 of his winnings to Robin's charity. Robin said she's not sure why he's doing that but now she's going to have to donate to Bob's charity, which is just Bob.
Lisa said that Siobhan the Transsexual is going to have some of her art hanging at an art gallery soon but it turns out it's just a community art day where anyone can go and hang up their art. Howard let Lisa go after that.
Artie said that he was at his shore house this weekend and he was kind of bummed out when Robin didn't come by on her boat. Artie said that he saw a lot of hot chicks floating by out there and some day he's going to get them off their boat.
Artie said that he did run into Piper Perabo down there in a local store. He said that she gave him a huge hug and a nice hello when he saw her. He said that she squeezed her breasts against his. Artie said that she remembered him and he was happy she did. Artie said his mother has been getting on him about getting fat lately and that's what she brought up when he told her about that. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard said that he had a clip from the Tonight Show where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog (Robert Smigel) was on and goofed on Stuttering John. He played the clip where Triumph talked to Jay about being kicked of the Tonight Show. Howard cut the clip off and said he hates when Jay pretends to be annoyed with the guests. He said that it drives him crazy and he really hates the guy.
Howard replayed the clip and let it play through. Triumph said that he's going to be taking over when Jay leaves. He had some funny jokes about the band leader giving Jay phony laughs. He then brought up Stuttering John and said he's glad he's leaving and joked that it's sad when people say that John is okay but ''he's no Ed Hall.''
Howard spent a short time talking about Jay leaving the Tonight Show and wondering if Jay is going to take John with him when he leaves. Howard said he's not sure if Jay is going to keep him around. He said that Jay may feel some kind of guilt for taking John from this show to do his show. Artie said that this is going on 5 years for John over there. He said that Jay is probably over the guilt by now.
Howard said that Jay should have a really straight announcer to make Jay seem funnier. He said that he doesn't understand the John hire but he is happy for John. He said that he hopes he does go with Jay wherever he goes.
Artie said that he is pretty friendly with the two of them and he thought it was pretty painful so he's not sure what to do about that. Howard told him to go for it and joke about it. Avoiding it might be more noticed than just doing it.
Howard asked Artie if he's going to take a shot at Sarah. Artie said that he's known Sarah for like 15 years and worked with her on a lot of stuff so he's not sure he could do anything. He said he's not sure he could follow Jimmy either.
Artie said that Sarah is capable of going off on people herself too. Robin said that Sarah can get pretty crazy and told Britney Spears that she was a horrible mother to her face.
Artie talked about what a great guy Jimmy is and how nice Sarah is. He said that he's not sure he can go there with the jokes or not. He said that he's got a lot of stuff in his head about what he could joke about. He said that he didn't have any lines yet but he has an angle on the whole thing. He said that he was thinking about some sexual problem they might have had or something like that. He had some stuff that he had been working on but he's not sure if he can do them or not.
Howard told Artie that Sarah would probably tell him to just go through with the jokes and do them. He said that it may be a tricky road to go down though.
Howard got a hold of the Billy Squier Greatest Hits album (Absolute Hits) and read off the names of the songs that were in that set. He read through those songs and didn't recognize half of them. Howard told Gary to get the whole anthology and they'll play them on the show tomorrow.
Howard said that he got a note from Julie Slater who used to work with them at K-Rock. Howard said that she asked him to call her program director to help her get this job out in Los Angeles. He made the call and she ended up getting the job. Howard said that it got a press release. He read through the press release and they talked about Julie's previous job and how the Program Director had gotten an e-mail, not a phone call, from Howard Stern. The guy said he didn't believe that it was actually Howard at first. Howard said that he thought he had called but it turned out it was an e-mail.
Howard told the guy that Beth was offended by the jokes that Sal told and she wasn't even supposed to be involved with the whole thing. Then Sal told Beth that he was sorry about that and they made up. After that Sal went to a comedy club and made fun of her again. He said that Beth was upset by that and she just wants nothing to do with him now. She was upset that he was two faced like that and went behind her back that way.
Artie said that this guy was saying that he didn't use Beth as a joke, he just included her in a line during that roast. He said that his line was a gold digger joke. Howard said that she was fine with the jokes. She was upset about Sal being two faced and lying to her about not using that joke in his act. Artie said that Sal also went to another level with that joke that he used about her.
Howard said that their guests were there but he had to take a break. Before he did that he read that none of the cast of The Golden Girls showed up to Estelle Getty's funeral. He played a news report about that where Getty's son talked about how upset he was that none of them showed up.
Artie said that he had a heart wrenching Dana story. He said that they were going through some pictures for his book and he had one from his second date with Dana. He said that he remembered that picture and he got so upset when he saw that. He said it really got to him. He said that they liked it for the book and they're going to use that in the chapter about their relationship.
Artie said he had a picture from his prom with the girl that he robbed the bank for. He said they could throw that up on Howard's web site. Howard said they'd do that.
Howard spent another few seconds on the Golden Girls thing. JD came in and said that some of the Golden Girls had excuses for why they didn't attend. Bea Arthur claimed that she had said her goodbye's to her years ago and she didn't want to deal with the emotions of going to the funeral. Rue McClanahan didn't go because she wasn't allowed to fly after knee surgery. The guys spent a minute on that before they went to break.
Howard said that you only get one life and that had to be crazy. Michael said that he was sent to prison at 17 and didn't get out until he was 45. He said he was charged with 3 counts of capital murder in Alabama. They claimed that he went in and killed 3 people at the service station. Michael said that he has his suspicious who actually did it but they're not saying who that was.
Michael said that the year before that his father shot and killed his mother. He said that he loved his mother and his father was a violent drunk. He said that he killed her by accident from what he later found out. Howard said that he was having some problems with his microphones and heard a lot of noise coming from them.
Michael said that when he went to prison there were no computes, credit cards or anything like that. He said he had to get out and learn to use all of that stuff.
Howard got back to the story and asked Michael some questions like how they ended up charging him. Michael said that he was seeing this girl at the time that turned out to be a police informant. He had stolen a car to impress her and he just happened to be a loose end that they used to charge him. He said that they interrogated him for 78 hours and didn't let him go to the bathroom and didn't let him eat. They knew his back story and they just kept beating the shit out of him until he confessed.
Howard asked how he was found innocent after all of that time. Michael said that what they did was take him to trial on one charge and didn't use the confession in court. That didn't fly at the time. He said that they had put a guy on the stand who was a cop that went to prison later for trafficking heroin. He also said that the girl who was snitching said that he didn't do the murders but he was there.
Michael said that he had Becky gathering the records that he cops had on file and they established that his story was wrong in the confession so they were able to figure out that he was innocent. Becky had heard his story and ended up doing all of this for him while he was locked up.
Becky said that Michael was a great lay and she had to get him out of jail and back home so she could do him in a bed instead of in closets and stuff. Becky said that she didn't want to be involved with a man who was in a cage but she found this man who had a heart in jail and had to help him. She said that she had found so many awful men in her life and then found this great man.
Becky said that she was running a mail order business and he had written her a letter. She put it aside for a while but saw a story about him later. Michael said that she was running a t-shirt business and he sent her some art work.
Michael said that if he hadn't gotten in touch with Becky, he'd be dead by now. He said that he wouldn't have been able to take it in jail anymore.
Howard said that Michael was able to escape 3 times. One time he held in his urine until his kidneys failed. That got him into the infirmary and he was able to get out through that. Michael said that he was able to read a lot of stuff in jail so he knew how to do stuff like that. Michael said that he might not be sane himself but he's far from the insanity of some of the people he was incarcerated with.
Michael said he saw a guy get his head chopped off in prison one time. He said that he was in a prison that has the highest murder rate in the country. He said that the guy lost his head because he had just sat on someone's bed that he wasn't supposed to. The guy who chopped his head off had a 36 inch machete that he used to cut the guy's head off with.
Michael said that the guards at the prison were paid off to let stuff like that get through. They had people sneaking knives in up their rectums and things like that. Howard said that Michael must have been really depressed getting stuck in prison like that. He asked if he even got laid before he went in. Michael said he had gotten laid before that.
Robin said that he must have been in total despair knowing that he was in and no one was going to help. Michael said that his family was dirt poor and they weren't able to help. He said he thought that if he got through the bad cops, the good cops would come in and save him. He said that doesn't happen though.
Howard asked Michael and Becky about how they got married when he was still imprisoned. Becky said that they weren't allowed to have sex but they figured out how to do it. Becky said that they were able to do it standing up and without anyone noticing that they were doing it. Becky said that she cut the crotch out of her panties and that's how he was able to get in easy.
Michael said that they were able to do this very intimately and they learned something new when they did things like that. They said there was no thrusting going on but they were able to move in ways that would make it happen.
Becky said that they didn't use condoms or anything but they didn't end up getting her pregnant or anything. Howard asked what it was like to have regular sex after. Becky said it wasn't boring or anything. They wanted to have kids when he got out but she was past that time when he did get out.
Michael said that they have been together for a long time and they have changed over the years. Michael said that he can't even get a job now because of the felony charge. He said that they have to learn to do things differently because of the life he had.
Howard said that Michael was charged with more time after he escaped from prison those 3 times he escaped. They wanted to give him life without parole because of that, even though he was falsely accused to begin with. Howard said that there must have been a reasonable judge out there who would see that was wrong.
Michael said that he was arrested back in 1973 and the people were still saying to this day that he wasn't innocent. He said that it would have meant that they would have to admit that they were wrong and they just won't do that.
Becky started to cry and said that they're still fighting this fight. Michael said that just because you're innocent doesn't mean shit. He said that even if you're innocent and you file a petition to get a case reviewed, they can tell you that they're not going to do it.
Howard asked Michael if he's against the death penalty. He said that the way things are set up right now, yes, he is against it. He said that the does believe that there is a place for the death penalty because there are people out there who will kill you for no good reason.
Michel said that the state of Alabama has a law that says they're supposed to pay people $20 for the first year and one dollar every year after that for wrongly accused people. He said that they haven't even gotten that money. They've been suing over this for years and the state is always appealing the cases and they just keep spending more and more money.
Becky said that they don't have the money to do this stuff anymore and they're wiped out. Michael said that he's a truck driver and he makes $10 a hour and works about 14 hours a day.
Howard asked Michael about the time he escaped on horseback. Michael said that a lot of prisons have farms on them and he was a trustee. He had gotten into a fight with a prison guard who ended up leaving. He said that he had gotten into a minimum security prison and then took that away from him. They did some other things to him that screwed him over. He said he eventually just got on a horse and rode off. Becky said it was better than that, he rode the horse to the Warden's house and stole his Corvette and then drove off.
Michael said that he stole a pistol from his house too. He left the ammo there at his house and then sold the gun to buy gas for the car. He wasn't going to commit any other crimes, he just wanted to get out and start a life somewhere else. He said that they eventually started dealing with the FBI to turn himself in.
Howard asked Michael about having sex in prison. Michael said that he did try gay sex but it was humiliating for him. He said that he was both a pitcher and a catcher. He said that he still lives with the guilt of that.
Howard wrapped up and said that they have a phone number set up for people to call. Michael said that they are going to continue to do things like this and the only way to bring a light to this is to call and bring this to light. Michael said that they want people to call the Attorney General and tell him to give him some reasonable compensation. He's still listed as a felon because of his escape from prison. That means that he can't even vote. Michael said that he got Hepatitis C when he was in prison but he's not even sure how he got it. He said that he doesn't want to be rich, he just wants something reasonable. He said that if he had worked for 30 years in the welding job he had when he was sent to prison, he wants that money. He's not looking for a crazy amount of money.
Howard gave out this phone number, (334) 242-7300 and said that you can call and tell them how you feel about this guy and what they should do to help him out.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that this was kind of nostalgic for him because he tried a case about 37 years ago. He asked Michael if he ever took a lie detector test. Michael said that he didn't have one because it wasn't allowed in Alabama. Dominic also told him that he's got a movie there with this story. They might have something in the works but Michael said that someone else knew about that more than him.
Dominic asked why Michael would steal the Warden's car and gun. Michael said that his home was on the property and that was right near where he worked. He said that they don't usually charge people for doing stuff on prison property. If he had stolen from someone outside of the prison it would have been worse for him.
Howard asked Dominic if he thinks that calling the Attorney General is going to help this case. Dominic said that it won't because the people in Alabama are good ol' boys who seem to be separate from the rest of this country when it comes to justice.
Howard said that he'd be angry at the world if he were Michael. He said that he can't imagine spending his whole life in prison like that. Michael said that he has found a woman who has been great to him and completes him in this world. He said that he's lucky to have what he does.
Howard asked Michael if he has nightmares. He said he used to but not anymore. Michael said that he'd just like this to end. He said that they will never apologize to him and admit they were wrong.
Howard took a call from a guy who congratulated Michel on getting out. The guy said that he must get angry and it must break him down. Michael said that he does have that happen and he will go out on a boat to calm him down. He said that he does drink too damn much once in a while and he will wallow in that shit for a few days. Howard said that he understands that and he'd probably be doing the same thing.
Artie told Michael that Heroin might be a good escape if he can just do it in moderation. Howard said he's glad that Michael and Becky have each other and every man should have a woman like that. Howard said that she did an unbelievable thing for this man and he's not sure how you repay someone for something like that. Howard gave out the phone number again and said that the audience should call if they feel something for this man.
Howard asked Michael what blew his mind when he got out of prison. Michael said that it took him a number of days to go out and shop. He said that in prison your space is confined and in public there is just too much space. He said that they went shopping at a grocery store late at night. He said that it was crazy that first time he went out.
Michael said that they paid for all of their groceries and she asked for $40 back. He said they gave her the money and as they were walking out he asked if they had just given them $40 for buying groceries. He knew the concept of a debit card but it still blew him away.
Howard wrapped up with Michael and Becky and gave out that number once again. Michael said that there are 900 individuals in each state that are locked up for something they didn't do. He said that eventually 1 out of 60 individuals in this country are going to be locked up in a few years at the rate things are going. He said that he hopes that this story will help change something in this country.
Michael said that they wrote a book, ''Freeing The Innocent: How We Did It, A Handbook for the Wrongly Convicted,'' and they've given away a lot of copies just trying to help the people out there who are in the same situation as he was. He said that there really isn't any help out there for those people.
Howard asked Michael about hanging with the people in prison and who he was with. He said that you tend to hang with the people who committed the same crimes. He said he was hanging out with other murderers even though he didn't actually murder anyone. He said that he knew this guy, who he would only refer to as C.T., who was very into homosexuality with a bunch of young boys, in prison, and if you looked at his boy the wrong way, he would kill people. He didn't care who they were or what he did to them.
Howard said that there are no words to say how sorry he is for his situation. He said that if he's ever in trouble, he's going to call Becky to help him out. Michael offered to let Howard come down and hang out at their house anytime. Howard said that he would hate to make their lives worse by doing something like that but he thanked them for the offer. He went to break a short time later.
Howard had Greg Fitzsimmons come in after that. He was going to sit in for the news. Howard said he had some audio clips to play too. Greg asked about the merger but Howard told him he's not talking about it until he sees something actually happening.
Howard played a voice mail that Wendy left for them where she's talking about getting out of Florida so she can visit them. She said that she's sick of everything down there and has to get away. Wendy sounded very upset about something. Howard said they can't have her there for a whole week. Robin said that he could have her at his apartment for that week. Howard said that Wendy sounds way more depressed than they do.
Howard asked Greg if he went to Afghanistan with Artie. Greg said he didn't, he's ''Greg Fitzsimmons.'' Greg said that he e-mailed Howard over the weekend and he was out in the Hamptons. Howard said that he would have had Greg over but he wasn't able to do it at the last minute like he wanted.
Howard said that Greg asked him to hang out this weekend but he had something else going on and wasn't able to do it this weekend. Howard said that Greg was going to be doing a show out there at 11 o'clock and he really didn't want him coming and going at all hours of the night.
Greg asked him if he has a tiny apartment out there or something. Howard said that it really just wasn't a good weekend for him. He said that he would have had him out there if it was a good weekend. Artie talked about going out to Howard's place one weekend and how Ralph wasn't able to get back into the house that night. Artie said that he was with Jon Hein that night and Gary saved him. He said that Jon dropped him off at like 2:30 or 3 in the morning but he didn't have the code to his gate. He said he called Gary and Gary was lucky he remembered it. He got in quietly and didn't disturb anyone. He knew that Ralph was coming though and figured he was going to make a lot of noise.
Howard said that he ended up getting mad when he thought about Greg using his house as a place to stay when he was working. He told Greg that maybe he shouldn't come out at all.
Howard said that Greg has a radio show there on Howard 101 at midnight. He said that he'll be broadcasting live from New York instead of from Los Angeles. Howard also said that Nick Di Paolo is on tonight at 7pm and joked that he's going to be staying at his house. Greg said that he and Nick did a show out in the Hamptons over the weekend.
Howard said that Greg got a massage as a gift from his wife. Greg said that he asked his wife if it was going to be a woman and she knew that it was the only way he would get it done. Artie interrupted and said that there are two types of men. There are gay men and there are homophobic men. Greg got back to his story and said that he went to this place that was a legit place. It turned out to be a 6 foot tall dude dressed as a woman and he felt bad about turning her away. He said he started getting this massage and it was actually feeling good. He said that he flipped over and the guy looked like Ghangis Kahn.
Greg said that he threw some extra oil on him and then slipped his hand up his thigh and grazed his ball. He said that he did that a second time and he got an erection. He said that if anyone touches his balls he'll get an erection. Greg said that he just laid there and waited to see what happened. He said that he couldn't let the guy do it because it was father's day and his wife is paying for the massage. Fred was doing a Herman Munster laugh so Greg asked him to do it as an Asian guy. Fred had Artie laughing and Artie said the visual was even funnier.
Artie told a story about how he called for a massage one time and didn't specify that he wanted a woman. A dude showed up to his door holding his table. He said that the guy saw the look on his face. Artie asked the guy if he was even going to make him say this. the guy said no, turned around and walked away. Artie said he gave him a tip anyway as he was walking away.
Howard heard that Greg had signed a development deal for a sitcom. Greg said that it's not really signed but he is in talks to do something like that. He said it would be with FOX. He said that he had a development deal a few years ago and he was working with a guy who was kind of flaky and it turned out the guy ended up allegedly killed his wife. He said that the guy was kind of normal and then he ends up possibly killing his wife.
Greg said the guy could have written that as a pilot script. He said that it's been in the news for about a year now but he thinks it's waiting for the trial to come up.
Artie said that he had a development deal after he did Dirty Work. He said that the movie hadn't come out yet so no one was sure what was going to happen with that. He got a $750,000 development deal. He ended up celebrating in his hotel room like he had just won the lottery. He said the first check he got was $250,000. He gave that money to his mother and let her set up the corporation for him. He said he had just gotten out of jail at the time so he had her put it in her bank account.
Artie said that he was being rewarded for being a loser back then. He said that he got the money and his mother asked him what he had to do for the money. He said that all he had to do was look at scripts.
Greg said that he went through some mid-life crisis stuff recently and started smoking pot. He said that he kind of lose his momentum and then just realized he had to enjoy his life the way it was. Greg talked about that and how he had been a drinker since he was a kid.
Howard gave Greg some plugs for his upcoming gigs at Governors and said you can check out more at Myspace.com/FitzDog. They had to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along to the song. Robin said that she was enjoying it so Howard apologized for singing over it. Howard talked about the band a little bit and Artie said that the tune is a great one. Fred said that it was a version that wasn't the original.
Howard said that Eric Clapton has gone out of his mind and makes songs go on for hours. He said that he just jams like the Grateful Dead did and he hates the Grateful Dead. Howard said that part of being a great guitar player is knowing when to shut up.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview after giving Greg some more plugs. Steve came in and said they have a story about Orlando Jones talking crap about Artie Lange. He told them about an awful stench in the room when Artie shit his bed. Jones said that he jumped out the hotel room window when he heard house keeping show up at the door.
Artie said that he just wrote that story for his book and Orlando did have to deal with that. He said that the room was in the assistant director of MAD TV's name.
Steve said that they have a story about KC Armstrong getting arrested last week on possession of a stolen vehicle. The cops may not pursue the charges because it was a rental car. Artie said he feels so bad for KC and he doesn't know what he's up to. Howard wondered why they have to have the car back if he's renting it. The guys told him that they usually have a time limit on how long you keep the car.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon ran through the stuff they were going to be covering today. That led to Howard talking about how that guy Michael Pardue can never leave that chick because of what she did for him. Artie said that she was really hitting on him in the green room and he hates to do it to the guy but he's meeting with her later for lunch. He was just kidding about that though.
Howard said that the news room must be abuzz about it. Howard figured it was because she never said that she loved him on the air. Robin said that she thinks very highly of Jim. She said that she had a discussion with him, a long discussion, in person, and it was sort of that time to call an end to it because things weren't working out. Howard asked if she took it hard. Robin said that they could see it coming so it wasn't that hard.
Howard said that he was happy for Robin with Jim. She said that he can still be happy for her. She said that things will be okay. She said that she's alright and it just ended yesterday.
Howard asked where Gregg from Howard TV was. Robin said that Gregg is following Ronnie for Howard TV for an unknown amount of time. Howard told Robin that he never liked him anyway and he wasn't good enough for her. He asked her if she was okay with Jim coming on the show. Robin said ''Of course!''
Howard asked Jim (Fred) what happened there. Fred joked that it was a young boy over in Iraq that did it for him. He said that it was all of that shit that Robin was eating and things like that which bothered the shit out of him.
Howard said that this is another one of those cases where he won't be able to get close to her. Robin said that the whole time this was going on she told him that if he really cared, he'd call her on the phone and ask. She said that Howard said he would never do that and now he's going to blame her for not letting him in.
Howard asked if she did a sex video with him. Robin said that she didn't. Howard said that he has to get Jim on the show to find out more about this. He told Robin that he'd have her on to talk about other things, not about her.
Howard asked Robin if she thinks there's another woman. Robin said that she doesn't believe that at all. Artie said that he hopes that Robin is okay. He said that her laughing might be blocking something there.
Ralph called in and asked if they had a fight or something. Robin said that it wasn't like that. She said that Jim is busy working and going away almost every weekend. They had that in their relationship so things were tough.
Howard asked what was missing in the relationship. Robin said that things were perfect in the beginning but then things just kind of went away. She said it was just one of those things. There was no fighting or anything like that. Jim just wasn't feeling it with her and he had to call an end to it.
Robin said that she still has time to bang a 25 year old and she still wants to do that. Artie told her that he'll take her out to Las Vegas and get her laid just like he did with JD. Robin said she doesn't want that and she needs to like a guy before she'll do something like that.
Howard pointed out that Robin was still seeing all of her friends and not just dropping everything for this guy. Robin said that she loves what she does and how she looks and she's doing just fine.
Howard said that he wants to know if there is any ill will there. Robin said there isn't but Gary chimed in and said that these things take time to unravel. Shuli came in and said that he saw the two of them down at Artie's party and they looked like a real couple down there. Shuli said he's glad that they broke up because now he can tell fart stories about Jim without Jim getting mad at him.
Ralph asked if Robin was demanding too much of his time or something. Robin said that they weren't spending much time together at all. She said that she noticed that they weren't spending much time together. She said that he was making excuses for things and that seemed to be part of the problem. She said that he meant the excuses he had for the whole thing. She said that in the beginning he was moving mountains to make time for her. That eventually stopped.
Robin said that there were things that they noticed in their relationship and Jim basically told her to just break it off if she wanted. She wouldn't give him that so she told him he had to say it. She said that he was obviously ready to go. She said that she's sorry that she gave herself to him but not because of who he is as a person but as the person who he is on the show.
Robin said that she doesn't really think that she likes people who hang out with people like Shuli. She laughed when she said that. Robin said that she doesn't think that she'd go back and do it over again if she had the chance. She said that things are very strange because she might run into Jim at Artie's house with a new date or something. She said that's one reason she regrets the relationship.
Robin said that she doesn't want to see him with someone else and she would feel the same way about Mr. X if she ran into him. Howard said that he knows what she means about all of that. Robin said she could do it, it would just be weird.
Howard asked Robin if she confided in her friends with this news. She said that she did. Robin said she trusts Jim to keep their personal stuff quiet though.
Howard asked Robin if she said no to other people during their time dating that she regrets now. Robin said she doesn't. She said that she does owe Nick Manning a text to let him know what's going on. She said that she's not sure if she would sleep with him or not. She said she did sleep with Jim after all. She said that she has hung out with him and had phone conversations with him. She's not sure if she'd go out with him though.
Howard said that if Gina Lynn asked him to have sex, he'd be kind of leery of doing anything because she is a porn star. Robin said that she would have got have Nick tested before she could be with him. Greg told Robin that she should rebound to someone like Yanni or someone line that.
A caller asked Robin if Jim is free to go back to the comedy shows and Miserable Men now. Robin said that she never stopped him from doing that.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said there has to be more to this story. Robin said that there's not. Howard said that he had to cut her off and asked Robin how long they were dating. It's almost a year now and Howard said that things happen like that and relationships don't always last forever.
Artie said that he can see that Robin is laughing now but she might be more upset than she's letting on. That led to Howard asking Robin if she and Jim had sex after he came back from Afghanistan. She said that they didn't.
Gary came in and said that he and Jim shared a room over there and the impression he got was that they were trying to communicate during that trip. He said that Jim was trying to call her during the trip and there was no indication that there was anything wrong.
Howard wondered what happened there if Jim was that interested just a few weeks ago. Howard asked if they talked about keeping in touch. Robin said that Jim did want to remain friends but she's not sure how to do that. She said that she'd have to talk to Jim about some of this stuff first.
Artie said that Jim will not give out any intimate details about the relationship unless you happen to be sitting next to him on an 11 hour flight. He said that he gets a bit chatty around the 6th hour.
Howard said that maybe Jim was just saying that he wanted to keep in touch since they did get so close. He said he gets that things can get kind of weird though.
Howard said that he was kind of surprised that Jim was as quiet was he was when he'd see him out with Robin. Robin said that he can be very quiet in certain situations. Robin said that in other situations he can be very talkative. Shuli said that he's not that quiet when he's out on the road. Artie joked that he lets the N-word fly when they're out on the road.
Artie said that Jim is very supportive but he might have to take Robin's side in this whole thing. He said that he went out with Robin and Jim one night and it was kind of awkward for them because it was like they had to behave in front of Robin.
Howard said that he's going to have to drop this since it was getting so late in the show. Shuli asked when the press conference was going to be. Howard said there won't be one today. He had Robin get to her news after that.
Robin read a story about tattoo removal and what people are doing these days to get them taken off. They have done studies about the inks used in tattoos and now they're saying that they can be toxic and possibly cause cancer if they are removed with a laser. Howard said that was freaking him out.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Kimmel using Ed McMahon as a pitch man for his show. She thought it was touching but Artie thought it was just a publicity stunt. Howard said that Ed used to be worth like 80 million and he can't believe that he's just about bankrupt now. Artie offered to let him open up for him at Foxwoods in a couple of weeks.
Robin read some news about jobs that are available during this possible recession in the country. She went through those top jobs which included accounting jobs. Howard said that he was told that becoming an Actuary was a great job that he'd have security with. He said that he sucks at math and could never do that.
Howard asked Robin more about the Jim thing. He wondered if she's going to keep pictures of him or throw them away. Robin said that she will keep them, they're not on display or anything. She said she's not sure how she will feel in a few weeks though.
Robin read some news Lindsay Lohan which led to Greg talking about how smoking hot she looked when he saw her working next door to the Gong Show when they were shooting that. He said that the chick that Lindsay is dating looks like a dude. They spent a short time talking about that relationship before Artie ended up putting the word out to that ''Spitzer whore'' that he wanted to have her down to his house. He said that he wants to face fuck the shit out of her. He said that he knows she hangs out at the Jersey shore and he wants her to hang out at his place. Then Howard said he heard that she hooked up with David Krief and they were going to do some kind of reality show. That led to Artie doing an impression of Krief when he called in to promote the Joey Buttafuoco stuff.
Robin read some other news about the death of Randy Pausch who was killed by pancreatic cancer. She had some news about Barack Obama too.
A caller asked Howard if he heard that Rebecca Romijn was pregnant with twins. Howard said he was in an awkward position because he knows something but he's not sure what he can say. He said that he had lost contact with her for a while there and they're now back in touch with him and telling him stuff. He said that he doesn't want to say what he knows though. The story was on PerezHilton.com so Artie said that he kind of goofed on him a few years ago and he'd like someone to stick a cock in his mouth to shut him up. Artie said that Perez had a picture of him doing a show down in Miami and Perez put a big heart around his cock area and wrote ''Mmm, sexy'' and he got a lot of phone calls about that. He said people found that to be very creepy.
Howard got a note from JD saying that both Jerry and Rebecca have confirmed the story about the pregnancy. Howard said that if that's the case then it's okay to talk about it. He said that they are pregnant with twins and he learned that last week. He said that they're very excited about that.
Howard said that he's going to be inviting Jerry and Rebecca to his wedding but he will also invite John Stamos. He said that he's not sure who will actually show up though. He said that he's also inviting Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman to the wedding.
Robin read a story about Shia LeBeouf's car accident and played some audio clips of a cop giving the details of the accident. She had another story about a guy who went to Comicon to find a date. She had some audio clips from that event and some other clips from some other various news stories. She wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:00am.
Gary said that he knows what it's like to just blurt out something like that in a moment when you don't expect to. He said that he really had no idea there was trouble in paradise when he was out on the USO tour with Jim. He said that it kind of came out of nowhere. He said that there also seemed to be a little bit of a sting for Robin and she didn't seem too happy about the break up. She really seemed to be into the relationship and it sounds like Jim was the one who broke it off.
Gary said that they still have some things to go through before they see how Robin is really feeling about the break up. Gary said that her entertaining the idea of hooking up with Nick Manning was obviously her way of getting to Jim Florentine.
Jon asked if they're going to have Jim on the show to talk about this. Gary said that Howard 100 News will probably get something with him before they get that chance to have him in. Gary said that Jim is one of those guys who will never call him and say he has to come on. He said that Jim doesn't nag him to get on and he may never nag him again after this.
Benjy said that Robin had such a happy face on during that so it was hard to tell how she really felt. He said that she still had that happy face even off the air. He said that she seems to be feeling very good about herself and she seems to be fine.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it was probably Jim getting sick of trying to keep Robin happy that led to the break up. He said that Jim was probably walking on egg shells all the time. Jon said he didn't notice that at all when he was around him. Gary said that Jim is pretty quiet and pretty normal in person but on his DVD he's doing some pretty wild things. He said that his favorite thing is when Jim takes a shit in an apartment while they're out with a real estate agent.
The caller said that Robin is very self centered and that had to be tough for Jim. He said that he thinks that Robin was into him but it had to be tough for them. Jon said that he invited Robin down to do the Wrap Up Show this morning but she mouthed a big ''NO'' to him when he asked.
Another caller asked a few questions and wondered if Artie is going to have his book out as an audio book. Gary wasn't sure about that. The guy was also asking about how awkward things are going to be with Robin and Jim now that they've broken up. Gary said that he can't imagine that Artie is going to not invite either. Benjy said he thinks that Artie is going to invite both but Robin won't show up.
Jon took another call from a woman who said that Robin seems to be reaching out to all of them and she's treating the show like a therapy session. Gary said that he kind of agrees with her about how Robin is trying to connect but she's got to connect with these assholes that are on the air. The caller said that she thinks that Robin knew the break up was coming and that's why she was opening up.
Benjy asked Gary if he thinks that Robin is going to make a tape trying to get Jim back. Gary gave him a fuck you when he heard that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he can't stand Robin but today he felt bad for her. He said that it is pretty terrible. Gary said that it is terrible and it obviously pains her. Another guy said he can't believe that Jim did this before Howard's wedding. He said he could have held out another month or two before breaking it off. Benjy said that maybe he couldn't afford to buy Robin a birthday gift because her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks (August 8).
Another caller said that Howard shouldn't have Jim on the show. He said that if Beth dumped Howard, he wouldn't have her on the show. Gary said that they've all talked about people that they've dumped on the show and done that a lot. The caller thinks that it wouldn't be right to talk about it at this point.
The guys said that they talked about this possibly happening while they were dating and they know that Howard wants to talk to Jim about what happened. Gary said that Howard is going to do an amazing interview with the two of them if Jim comes in. He said that if Robin didn't want Jim on that Howard would honor that request. He said that Robin is too proud to do that though and she won't stop Jim from coming in.
A caller said that Howard TV has a new choice on there and they have some of the fights from the Wrap Up Show in there. He said that's really great. The caller was also saying that he likes Gary even though they make fun of him a lot. He said he looks up to him.
The caller was going on and on about the show and how great he thinks it is. Jon asked him what he thought about the break up. The guy said it was the biggest day since Artie came back from Afghanistan.
Greg Fitzsimmons came in and said that Robin is like one of the strongest people he knows and she was just giving it to them the way it happened and wanted to move on. He said that he thinks it was well handled.
Jon said that he picked up that Robin was having second thoughts about Jim but the guys weren't sure that was the case.
Jon took some more calls and let some people comment on the break up. One guy asked what's going to happen when Bubba and the guys hear about it. Gary said he hadn't even thought about that. Greg said that this is going to have a huge impact on a lot of people. He said that Robin needs to find a guy the opposite of Jim and start dating him. He said that she needs a guy like a Pavarotti or someone like that.
One caller asked if they think that break ups come in threes and maybe Sal and Richard would be the next to break up after Jimmy and Sarah and then Robin and Jim broke up. Gary said he's not a big believer in that threes thing.
Another caller asked if they felt it was odd that Howard didn't spend more time on the subject today. Gary said that Robin put it all out in front of her and it was late in the show so they have a whole week left to get to the story.
The guys talked about how they think this could have helped Jim's career. Greg seemed to think that it had helped him a lot but Gary didn't think that was the case at all. Gary said that maybe Jim got more mentions on the show but he's not sure how that would help him out in the comedy clubs. Greg said that he thinks that the fans hear about you on the show and they do come out to the shows. He said that it does help to have your name mentioned a lot on the show like Jim had.
Greg said that they knew what they were getting into when they went into this relationship. He said that it sounds like it was ended in a classy way and it wasn't too messy.
Artie said that he didn't have any clue that this was going to be coming to an end but then again he's been sleeping through a lot of the show lately. He said that he didn't see any trouble there at all. Artie said that he was looking at the sports section as Robin said that this morning and he didn't think it was that big of a deal. Artie said that he really didn't care that much about the whole thing.
Artie said that Robin and Jim are different types of human beings and maybe they didn't belong together. Greg said that's coming from a guy who bangs 21 year old who weigh 103 pounds.
Artie was also saying that Robin's laughing is something that she uses to cover up the pain. He said that she doesn't wear her emotions on her sleeve like he did with Dana. Greg joked about how he has all kinds of stuff on that sleep, scrambled egg, emotions...
Gary said that one guy on the phone thinks that Robin had smelly private parts and that's why Jim broke up. Gary said the doubts that's the problem. Artie said that Gary can't say that's not the reason, he doesn't know that for a fact. Jon had to go to break a short time later.
Jon took another call from a woman who said that Jim probably couldn't compete with the stuff she has going on in her life. The woman said that maybe Jim was upset that Robin was making more money than him. Gary said that can be tough in a relationship when someone is more famous than you or making more money.
Jon interrupted that and said that they have a big giveaway. They're going to be giving away a Sony Vaio laptop computer. you can find out more at Sirius.com/HowardStern.
Another caller said that he thinks that Robin and Jim's break up could have had something to do with the race difference. He said that Jim has said some stuff that could have bothered Robin. Gary said that he didn't even know what he was talking about but he doubts that it had anything to do with race. A woman called in and said that maybe Jim just couldn't deal with being Mr. Robin Quivers. Gary said that he's not sure that was the issue either. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show saying hello and then talking about the big day they had today. They had Jesse Ventura coming in to talk to them in person. He said that Jesse is going to talk to them about what idiots they are.
Robin talked about how odd looking Jesse is with his bald head and long hair growing out the back. She said that it's really dark and looking very strange. She said that he's also dressing himself again and that's looking strange too.
Howard said good morning to Eric the Midget next. Eric said he had a couple of questions about the merger. He said that he wanted to know if they were going to have to listen to him talk about it as much as he has in the past now that the deal is done. Howard said he didn't think he talked about it that much. Eric said that people in the JFSC talk about how much he's talking about it.
Howard said that they have a midget over at XM so they're going to have to do away with one of them, either Eric or the one at XM. He said they have Ivan the Midget over there. Howard told Eric that Ivan will fly with balloons. Eric didn't have anything to say to that.
Robin asked if Ivan the Midget is taller or shorter. Howard said he's shorter and he's a professional comedian and does song parodies. He hates American Idol and doesn't shave his eyebrows. He's also friends with one of the Gotti family members.
Howard told Eric that he has to figure out which one of the midgets to use. Eric asked Howard what he would do if he had to cut his staff since he knows that he's not going to cut his pay. Howard said that he would go before he would cut his staff. He said that if they broke the deal he would have to go to court over that. He said that Mel isn't a deal breaker and he's not going to pull anything like that. He said he never pulled anything like that in the past.
Howard said that Mel isn't a scum bag like some people in the business are. He said that there are some who will back out of contracts and bring up lawsuits and stuff. Howard said that Mel has lived up to every deal he's made as far as he's seen.
Eric said that he was hoping that Shuli and Langford would end up leaving if they had to make some cuts. Artie said that would save about $14,000 a year if they got rid of those two. If they cut JD they'd be able to save about 20 grand.
Howard asked Eric if that answered everything. Eric said that was it for him. Howard told Eric that there are people out there who will dislike anything that he does on the show. Eric said that he really only listens to the show when he's on hold.
Howard said that Eric was on hold for almost the entire show yesterday so he heard the whole thing. Howard said that he wanted to see how long Eric would hold on. He was on from 6 until almost 11 yesterday. He figures that Eric must hear a lot of the show if that's the case. Howard said that he doesn't think that Eric is being genuine.
Eric said that it's usually people in his chat that tell him what's going on with the show. Howard said he heard that Eric had a zit on his chin so he had to check that out. Howard saw the zit and said it was pretty big and it must be weighing him down. He said he looks like a Christmas ornament with the green shirt and hat and red zit.
Howard wasn't sure if Eric was there or not because he was so quiet. Artie tried to goof on him by saying he looked like a little something. Eric told Artie that he doesn't look like a little anything.
Howard asked Eric if he was picked on in high school. That led to Eric talking about the elevator that was put into his school for the handicapped kids. Eric didn't get the elevator in for him, someone before him had it installed. Eric and a friend were the only ones with keys to the elevator though.
Eric said that he had to turn away some people from the elevator but he would let some kids in. He said that some of them were girls. Robin figured that nothing ever came of that though.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Eric if he can fit the JFSC up his ass. He said that Eric has done nothing for the show other than ask for stuff and bring the show to a screeching halt. He said that he's a miserable little fuck and Artie should toss him off a bridge. Howard said he didn't agree with that. Eric told the guy to shut the fuck up and called him a loser. The guy said that he has a life and he's not a loser like Eric is. The guy said that they should kill him.
Howard asked Eric what he would do if that guy was in his JFSC room. Eric said that he would be thrown out if he came in. The caller said that he would cry then.
Robin asked Eric if he was happy about the merger. Eric said that he is now that they'll have baseball. Howard said that maybe some more people will join the JFSC too. Eric said that was a good point.
Eric tried to get in a plug for a show he was going to be doing tonight on the JFSC but Artie was talking over him and saying goodbye so his plug was very hard to hear.
Howard asked Eric if he would will his body to the show when he dies so they can immortalize him. Howard asked him to think about it. Eric said he won't do that. Howard said they'll pose him any way he likes if he agrees to it. Eric won't do it. Artie said that he's going to do it. Eric told him that would be a lot of stuffing for him. Howard told Eric to think about it and wished him a long life. He let him go a short time later.
Howard said that there's only so much Eric that people will put up with. Howard said that he and Robin could listen to that for 4 hours but they're weird.
Howard said that he was talking to some people about that and people were upset about the break up. Howard said that Robin put on a good face to cover up how she felt but Robin said she wasn't doing that.
Howard said that some people think that Robin isn't as happy about it as she seems. Robin said of course she's not happy, those people are confused.
Robin said that she's still there and she's still fine. Howard said he heard some things about that. He said he heard that she was very upset in private. Robin said that she didn't talk to anyone so who would even know. Howard said he was just mining and trying to dig up some stuff.
Howard said he got a lot of mail about that and it was very sweet. Robin said that even Ralph left her a very nice voice mail. She said it was so un-Ralph that it was very sweet.
Howard read some of the mail that he got about the break up. People were talking about how good this will be for Jim. He'll be able to go back to doing what he does best. There were some who gave them some ''fuck Jim Florentine'' comments and things like that.
Howard read through the Robin mail and then brought up some of the mail he got about the Michael Pardue interview. Someone suggested that the guy stop whining about his jail time. He said that some people were saying that he didn't sound like he didn't have anything to do with the murders and there was something fishy about his story.
There was someone who said that they didn't do any research on the guy and they took his word about him being innocent when he could have been guilty. Gary chimed in and said that there was someone else who admitted to doing the crime and they had DNA evidence that proved that Michael didn't do it. Howard said he disagrees with the e-mail and found them pretty harsh.
Howard said that a lot of people wrote in and said it sounds like he was in a shitty mood yesterday. He said that he is in a shitty mood almost every day he's there. He said that he's always in a shitty mood. Robin said that Howard came up to her in the park yesterday and complained that she's always talking.
Howard said he was yelling stuff out to her for about 10 minutes and she was talking so much that she didn't hear him. He said he was yelling this stuff out trying to be funny and Robin just wasn't hearing him. Other people were looking at him like he was nuts so he had to go up to her and say something. Howard said that Robin had her running outfit on and she was walking in the park.
Howard said that a lot of people were upset about the comments that he was making about Eric Clapton and Cream. He read some of those e-mails where the fans were going off on him about that. He said that when the Cream reunion occurred, they extended their songs so long that they didn't play as many as they could have. He said that they play the same fucking jam with Clapton taking a break and just carrying on with that guitar of his. He said it's too much jamming.
Howard said that this guy writing in about Cream was making fun of him for not knowing about music. Howard said the guy writing in about that nonsense looks like a douche for being a Cream expert. He said that he gets it if a band wants to do a jam on one song. He said that they jam on every single song. He said that all of the jams are the same and they're one big mess. He said that no one could tell which ones are from which songs.
Howard read some mail about Lisa G's cupcake issues. There were some people who wondered how she can't understand that people don't want other people's hands on their food. People were giving advice on what she should do when she wants to eat something. One person suggested that they fire her over that.
Nick said that he wants to hear Jim's side of the story. He let Mariann go and said he loves her and then gave her an ''Uchhhh'' when he hung up.
Howard said that Robin made a good point yesterday when she said that she just wanted Jim to tell her he wanted to go instead of making excuses and stuff. Howard said that he thinks that he's gotten over doing stuff like that but he knows what that's like. He said that you start mistreating people who love you to make them go away. Robin said that it's not a good thing to do.
Howard said that Robin told Jim to just say it to her if he wanted to go and that was the right thing to do. Robin said that she just wanted him to be honest. She said that the whole relationship is based on honesty and all of a sudden things change and things aren't so honest.
Howard said that he thinks that people were sympathetic with Robin because she was so honest about the whole thing. Howard said that he was surprised about Robin wanting to fuck a 25 year old. There were some people out there who heard that and started sending in pictures.
One guy sent in pictures for her. Howard read his e-mail and then gave her the pictures to check out. Robin said that he was kind of cute from what she could see. She said he looked kind of like Ryan Seacrest or someone like that. Artie said that he did look kind of like a gay guy.
Howard said that in one picture the guy looks like David Beckham. Robin said it looked like he had cut a girl out of that pictures. Howard said he'd march that guy in there if Robin wants to meet him. Robin said ''Sure, why not?'' Howard said he doesn't want people coming in randomly to fuck her. Robin
King of All Blacks told Robin that his advice is to stay away from white guys. He said that the first guy, Mr. X, wasn't really that black. Robin said that she's upset that he doesn't know how many white guys she's actually been with.
Fred said that King is a woman compared to Mr. X. He said that Mr. X was a real man. King was saying that a black man who shaves his moustache has something wrong with them. He said that he can't be around a black man like that. He said that they're always talking about soccer and stuff like that. Howard said that most black guys don't have moustaches from what he's seen.
King said that he has a cousin that he wants to introduce to Robin. He said that he's a ''man'' and he wants her to meet her. Robin said that she will look at all comers and she's up for meeting some people. Howard said that he's sure Robin would love to go to family functions with King. Even King laughed at that.
Robin said that there was only a little bit of that game playing going on with Jim toward the end there. She said he wasn't like that the whole time.
Howard got back to the Eric thing and said that it seems that Eric won't come in or call the show now that he's been to jail.
Howard played a clip of Eric talking to Greg about his arrest and release. Eric said he was in for credit card fraud with an old friend of his. Eric said that he and his friend aren't talking to each other right now. Eric told Greg that people were selling weed in jail and his favorite part of being in there were the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He said that he loved it in there and it was fun. Artie talked about his time in jail and how awful the food was in there.
Howard said that people can find other people than just this one soul mate. Howard said that there are other people out there for people even if they think there aren't any. Robin said that she heard a definition about a soul mate which was ''anyone that enters your life.''
Howard said that he and Beth get along great and he has a great time hanging out with her. He said that he found a friend that he really wants to hang out with and do things with. Bobo asked if they've had any fights or anything. Howard said that they haven't had anything that bad. He said that she even goes to bed at the same time as he does. That's pretty early, around 8.
Howard said that there are other women out there for people. Howard said that it's horse shit that people think that you have to go searching for that one person that is your soul mate. Artie said that he must have a soul mate living really far away from him and he has to go on safari to find her or something.
Bobo told Robin that he's already taken, otherwise he'd be free for her. Robin didn't seem too upset by that. Howard let Bobo go a short time later.
Howard said that Jesse backed out because he didn't want to put his family through what they were going to have to go through. Howard said that Jesse felt that they wrote a lot of stuff about his family that just wasn't true and he didn't want them to go through that again.
Howard said that Jesse is having a good time surfing and stuff every day now so that's another reason he doesn't want to run for senate.
Howard said that he saw an old clip of the Iron Sheik talking about Ventura and calling him the ''medicine man.'' He said he wants to know what that was about so he'll have to ask Jesse about that today.
Howard had some more Nick DiPaolo show clips. He played a clip where Nick talked about Artie asking him for Ambien and Valium while they were over in Afghanistan. Nick was telling stories about what was going on over there and how Artie was talking in his sleep and ordering food in his sleep.
Artie said that Nick has described his flailing arms when he's sleeping and he's actually knocked people's drinks over on flights and stuff.
Howard said that Gary had to hide his Ambien from Artie. Artie said that he wasn't able to sleep in those barracks over there. Gary came in and said that Artie kept asking him for the Ambien and he had to tell him that he didn't have anymore left. He didn't think that Artie should be taking so many pills because he had the Ambien and other stuff that he was taking to get some sleep.
Gary said that he thinks that Artie could tell that he was lying about the Ambien. Artie said that he can tell when people are lying about drugs. Artie said that he bothered Nick so much that he just passed them along to him just to shut him up.
Artie talked about the rash he had after he came back from Afghanistan. He said he went to the doctor and he took some stuff and it went away. Robin said that Jim had something on him too that went away after he took some anti-allergy medication.
Howard talked about how awful it must be over there in Afghanistan. He said that it must be just a hell hole there and the people can't get out of there because they were raised there and can't afford to get out. Artie said that the last night they were there they drove through a little village. It was tent after tent and at night they were just in their tents doing their things like carving a yak or something. He said that the kids would come out and over to the base and play with rocks and stuff. He said that's how they live there and they're not equipped to do anything else in the world. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard said that every time he sits down to write the forward, he ends up playing chess. Robin asked if it's true that he plays chess against Pat before they go running. Howard said that they did that yesterday. He said that they did play for a little while yesterday but then he realized he was running late and had to get going.
Howard said that Pat gets a kick out of the fact that he's gotten so good at playing since they played in the past. He said that Pat doesn't play that much because he's got 2 little kids at home now.
Howard said that the trick to playing is playing against people who are ranked higher than you. He said you learn more that way.
The caller asked if they had any games to play today. Howard didn't have any. He said that he will be writing his vows though. Robin said that she heard about someone who wanted everything written down for their marriage like every detail about keeping the wife in shape and what they were going to keep and give up when they got married.
Howard said that he and Beth are going to get divorced if Beth wakes up one morning and wants to have a baby. He said that he would be miserable and tortured if she did that to him. He said that he'd have to be out of love with her if that came up. He said that he thinks that he could do that if it came to that. Lisa said that he'd be a great dad for a new baby. Howard said that he's not sure if he's a good dad or not. He said they'd have to ask his kids. He said that he does care so that's one good thing about his being a dad.
Howard said he's had his fill of being a dad and he's done with it now. He said that he's bloated from having that fill. Artie said that there's always room for more.
Robin asked Howard what he would do if he just woke up one morning and the baby was already there. Howard said that he would take care of it financially but he would have to say goodbye. He said that he's taking Beth at her word that she doesn't want kids right now. He said that could change but right now it's okay. He said it's enough for him at this point.
Howard said that Beth is talking about getting another dog but he's even discouraging that. He said that he'll tell her that they'll do that in the future but not right now. He said that one dog is plenty for him and it's enough for him to handle. He said that they constantly have stuff going on with her.
Artie said that Dana used to beg him to test out taking care of the dog. Artie aids that he had to tell her that he couldn't intentionally kill a dog but he might leave it untied next to the turnpike or something. He said that her dog is a big fuckin' dog too. Robin said that there are people who used to hate dogs and now love them. She said that Mel Karmazin and Don Buchwald are two people who are like that.
Howard said that Tommy Mittola just had a kid and he's already got grown kids. Fred is an older guy with kids too but Howard said that's his first kid so that's different. Fred said that they're going to stick with just the one kid.
Lisa said she spoke to Nick Manning about Robin and Jim's break up. She said that Nick said he predicted that they'd be broken up. She said that Nick isn't going to call her and ask her out though. Howard said that Robin wouldn't fuck Nick Manning in a million years but there are people who think that she'd do him just to get back at Jim.
Lisa said that Richard is in the Harold and Kumar movie, ''Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay,'' that just came out on DVD. They have more of Richard's scene in the movie than what made it to the theaters.
Howard asked Jesse about going to Viet Nam and what he saw over there. Jesse said he got in on that at the tail end and he doesn't talk about whether or not he had any kills there. Howard said that it's a great honor to do that. Jesse didn't think it was.
Howard asked Jesse if he regrets it at all. Jesse said he does not. He said that his parents were both World War II vets. He said that his mother used to drive all the time and his father said that he didn't trust himself driving. When his father died his mother revealed the real reason he didn't drive. He was part of a tank destroyer driver over in Europe and he flashed back to driving over dead bodies so that's why he didn't drive.
Howard said that it would have brought Jesse and his father closer if he had revealed that to him when he was alive. Jesse said he preferred learning it the way he did.
Jesse talked about some of the stuff his father used to do and how he would keep him from knowing some stuff to protect him. He said that his mother was also in the military and she out ranked his father. He said that her favorite show was MASH and she would watch them every night that they were on.
Howard told Jesse that Robin doesn't like the fact that he has hair now and that he dyes it. Jesse said that he does dye it but he doesn't want to go grey. He said that even his wife uses ''Just For Men'' like he does because it works so well. He said that his wife tells him that it's easier than the stuff that they use for women. Howard said that he prefers the bald head too.
Howard asked Jesse why he doesn't like Hulk Hogan now. Jesse said that he and Hulk used to be friends. Jesse said that he made a speech about walking out so they could start a union one time and Hulk didn't want to do it. He wanted everyone to stick together back then, around 1987, and he almost got fired over it. He said that he later found out that he was ratted out to Vince McMahon by Hulk. Jesse said that he had sued Vince and they got it out of him in court. He never spoke to Hulk again after finding that out.
Jesse talked about how there are a lot of corporations out there that are behind in their taxes. He said that wrestling is one of those corporations that claims that the people that work for them are independent contractors and that's just not right. He said that Vince tells them all when they're going to wrestle and who is going to win and lose.
Jesse said that he went was in the Mongrels motorcycle club after he got out of the Navy. He said that he loved riding and did that for a while. He got some unemployment for a while and then went to school to figure out what to do after that. Jesse said that while he was at college he just took whatever he wanted to and took theater classes. He wasn't worried about what he was going to do and just had fun with what he could.
Howard said that he was obsessed with figuring out what he could do and what he was going to study. Jesse said that he found that he liked theater and physical stuff and then realized that he could go into wrestling.
Howard asked Jesse if he liked the Iron Sheik. Jesse said he was a good guy. Howard said that he seems kind of sad now. Jesse said that he didn't get behind him for the union thing either. If he had, maybe he'd have the money he needs for retirement and health care.
Jesse said that they could have formed that union back then but no one stood up behind him to do it. He said that maybe they could have all of that stuff they need now but that's just not the case. He said that they still don't have a union and Vince doesn't have to pay into social security since everyone is an independent contractor.
Howard asked Jesse what the ''medicine man'' is that Iron Sheik refers to when he's talking about Jesse. JD came in and said that Iron Sheik thinks that Jesse was supplying him with drugs. Jesse said that he's not the guy who was doing that, he never gave Sheik anything like that.
Howard asked Jesse what he weighed in the Navy. Jesse said that he was a swimmer and he was 6'4'' tall and 190 pounds. When he graduated from Navy Seal training he was 212 pounds and he got to that in 22 weeks. Jesse said that they went through some heavy training and made them stay awake for 3 days straight. He said that the Seals were a volunteer organization and they had to prove that they could go through all of that stuff.
Jesse said that they have to do a 16 mile run from California to Tijuana. That was in the sand and in boots. He said that they had to do a bunch of squats and stuff before the run. He said that there were plenty of people who didn't make it through that week. He said that on that Friday they ended up doing 1200 of these deep knee bends and there were guys falling on their faces when they had to turn. The instructor was doing them along with them and he had no problem keeping up.
Jesse said that there was one guy who would run with a cigar and a ball of Redman tobacco in his mouth. They were just preparing them for war and not just doing this to give them a hard time. Jesse said that they were made tough enough to survive and there are families who thank the instructor's families for what they did for them.
Jesse said that he got a call from one of the instructors one time when he was on the air and the hair stood up on the back of his neck when he heard his voice. He said that he and the guy still hang out and go fishing together once in a while.
Howard said that he thinks that Jesse could have run for Senate and won. He said that he knows he didn't want to put his family through all of that nonsense again. Howard asked if they do that stuff in the press with Senators. Jesse said that he's an independent so he has no protection so he would be afraid that they would go after him. He said that he doesn't need that from the press.
Robin said that Jesse seems to be a happy man because he has run his life the way he wanted. Jesse said that he's living in Mexico now and things are going okay.
Jesse told Howard about going out to do a wrestling match one night but got struck down with a pulmonary embolism. He said that when he was laying in the bed recovering that he felt the fear of what he was going to do when his career was over. Jesse said that he thought that his career was over and had no idea what he was going to do. He said he got a call from Vince McMahon who actually paid him $1000 a week while he was recovering. He said Vince was very good about that.
Jesse said that Vince asked him to do the announcing for the show and that turned out to be a great thing. He said that he was making as much talking about it as he was doing it and he didn't have to take the abuse in the ring anymore.
Howard brought up Al Franken and how he's running for Senator. He asked Jesse what he thinks about all of that and why Al Franken isn't doing well in the polls. Jesse said that it's his personality on screen. Jesse said that Al sounds very condescending when he gets serious. Then when he's lighthearted, he sounds like he's talking to people as if they're children. He said that he can't find that middle ground that he needs to have.
Jesse said that his brother is a hard core democrat and even he won't vote for Franken. He also said that Franken is a carpet bagger who hasn't lived in Minnesota for 30 years so that's another reason he isn't liked there.
Jesse said he thinks that he would have been senator if he had run. He was also saying that he would suggest a draft if he had gotten into that position because a draft brings that war back home. That would make people react to what's going on over in Iraq.
Howard asked Jesse some other questions and that led to Jesse talking about his book (Don't Start the Revolution Without Me!) and how he thinks that he would be assassinated if he ran for President. He said that he doesn't even believe 9/11 happened the way it did. He said that living down in Mexico gives you a new perspective of this country. He said that this war in Iraq has ruined his beliefs in this country. He said that we are doing things like the Nazis and communists have done by going into that country and doing what we did.
Jesse talked about how this country, under the previous Bush administration, was trying to figure out how to be the one big super power in the world. He said that he thinks that the 9/11 attacks could have been brought about by some of the plans that they were making during that time.
Jesse talked about how he was trained to blow things up and he doesn't believe that the towers fell all by themselves. He said that they fell at the rate of gravity and that just doesn't happen. He said that building 7 also had to have been assisted in coming down. Jesse said that there are a lot of questions that are unanswered to this day. The Department of Justice have never charged Osama bin Laden with those attacks. He said that he thinks that Osama is dead already and he's the modern day Lee Harvey Oswald. He said that he's like the boogey man for this country.
Howard said that this plan in Iraq isn't working all that well and we have to get out of the country. Jesse talked about how gay it looks when President Bush comes out holding hands with an Arab Sheik. He said that he would never do something like that himself and he's not even anti-gay.
Jesse read a quote about war and how countries don't want war but the people can be made to think they have to go to war if they think they are under attack. The quote was from Herman Goering the Nazi. The quote seemed to apply to this country and it makes it sound like we're following the way of the Nazis.
Howard told Jesse what the government did with the merger and how they held it up for 16 months. He said that it's still not done. Jesse said that they don't fall under the FCC anymore and it's a way of them trying to control Howard.
Howard said that he finds it hard to believe that the government would bring down two buildings with its own citizens in it. Jesse said that Osama bin Laden hasn't been blamed for that and it shows that they can't prove that he was. He's been charged with other stuff but not the 9/11 stuff.
Jesse said that no one was demoted or fired after our air defense system failed. He said that they didn't demote anyone, there were people who were promoted. He said that when the nuclear warheads were moved accidentally a couple of years ago, 70 people were fired or demoted. Jesse said he thinks that they kept people in their jobs after 9/11 so no one would talk.
Jesse said that he would be too dangerous as President of this country. He said that he has no one to back him up either.
Dominic Barbara called in and told some stories about how sneaky we were when we told Saddam it was okay to go into Kuwait and then we went in and attacked the country. They talked about what was going on with that for a short time.
Dominic asked Jesse about some other things like Dick Cheney's blind trust and how that's brought in $1.5 billion. They spent a few minutes on that.
Jesse told Howard that he really enjoyed ''Private Parts'' and the character Pig Vomit, played by Paul Giamatti. Howard said that Paul had to audition 3 times for that part and Betty Thomas knew there was something about him. He said that Paul nailed that character and even started to look like the real guy he was playing.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Jesse should run for President. Howard said that Jesse thinks he'd be assassinated if he did that though.
Jesse said that he wakes up in the morning with nothing to do, and when he goes to bed, he's half done. He said that he flipped a coin to make his decision to run for senator or not. He said that it was four o'clock on the day of the filing day when he asked his wife what he should do. He said that she told him to just flip a coin so that's what he did. He said he walked to the middle of the living room and flipped the coin and it came up tails. That meant he wasn't running.
Jesse said that when he saw Paul Giamatti playing the part of John Adams, he saw that he had to carry on what these gentlemen started. That's when he thought about running for senator. Jesse said that he thinks that this country is the best in the world but he's angry that we're on a downward spiral. He said that if you look at history, we're becoming Rome.
Howard asked Jesse how he keeps his marriage hot after 33 years. Jesse said that they still have sex 3-4 times a week. He said that Howard should give her a call if he wants to know more. Howard asked if he can still do missionary with her with the new hip. Jesse said that he can still do them all.
Jesse said that his hip was done on a Thursday and he was walking by Friday. He said that he was in his house by Sunday watching TV. He said they did this resurfacing thing on his hip. He said they had to dislocate his hip during surgery. He said that one of the nurses asked him if he had watched anything about the surgery on TV. When he said that he hadn't, she said that was good.
Jesse said that they have to dislocate your hip and then they clean up your joint and cover it with carbon titanium steel and then put you back together. He said that his hip was so bad that he had to sit in a chair after walking 30 feet.
Howard asked Jesse if he would have wrestled if he had known this was going to come up. Jesse said that his father had it too so it could be hereditary.
Robin asked Jesse if he would ever do a reality TV show. Jesse said he would never do what Hulk Hogan did with his family. He said that he doesn't want his kids getting into anything like that. He also talked about how he feels bad for Hulk and what happened with his son. He can't imagine going through anything like that.
Howard talked to Jesse about fights that he's had before and if he's punched a guy out before. Jesse said that he doesn't believe the fights that are on TV. He said that fights on the street are over in 30 seconds and those TV fights last for 25 minutes. He said that they're working stiff as far as he's concerned.
Howard asked Jesse about his Navy Seals experiences and how they would set the explosives. Jesse said that the explosives were magnetized and they would set them on ships and then get the hell out of there. Jesse said that he never had to do anything during the war like that, they were on the land most of the time for that stuff.
Howard asked Jesse if he was banging hookers in Viet Nam. Jesse said he didn't do it there, he did that stuff in the Philippines. He said that it was business in Viet Nam. He said that they used to go across a river, called the Shit River, to a town where they had clubs and bars where they had tons of women.
Jesse said that he didn't get any diseases over there even though he didn't use condoms. He said that back then they didn't bother with that stuff. He said that they didn't wear underwear back then and he still doesn't wear it. He even showed Howard that he didn't have anything on under his pants.
Howard asked about the condom thing and Jesse said that they didn't even know what they were back then. Howard said that they had a surprise for Jesse this morning and had his Philippino kid there this morning. Artie played that part.
Jesse said that Navy Seals don't wear underwear because if they're on patrol and going through the rivers, they can just go to the bathroom so it's much more sanitary to just do it on yourself than in underwear.
Jesse sang a song to Howard that they used to sing in the Seals. Howard said that was very nice after hearing the song. Jesse sang another one for him after that. Artie ended up singing the Cheers theme song as if it were a gay bar a short time later. Howard said that was Jesse's son from the Philippines. Jesse said that he could say that all he wants but that's not his son.
Howard gave Jesse a plug for his book ''Don't Start the Revolution Without Me!.'' Jesse asked Howard about his movie and if that was base don his book. Howard said that it was based on his book.
Howard told Jesse that he thought he was going to ad-lib through the movie but Ivan Reitman had to pull him to the side and tell him to get his act together. He said he realized what he had to do after that and ended up being the most fun and the biggest accomplishment that he's ever done in his career. He said he'd do another one if he could find something decent to do. Jesse told him he really enjoyed the movie.
Howard asked Jesse if he had fun there today. Jesse said that he did. He said that they did have some problems in the past when they kind of dissed him and told him that they weren't going to get to him the day that he called in. He also complained about them sicking Stuttering John on him one time. Howard said that he had to apologize for not getting to him that day that he called in. He said that he wasn't aware of the slight that day and didn't find out about it until years later.
Jesse said that they're back on level ground now and he's accepted his apology. He said he only made up because he wanted to meet Robin. He asked Howard how long he and Robin have been working together. Howard tried to do the math and came up with 17 years. It turns out it was more like 27 years. Howard's math was off a little bit. Howard said that's not too bad for his math.
Jesse told Howard a story about going out to dinner with a guy one time and how the other guy gave a homeless guy 5 cigarettes. The homeless guy ended up giving them back as he complained that they were Menthol.
Howard asked Jesse if he and Arnold Schwarzenegger are still friendly. Jesse said that they haven't spoken since he became governor of California. Jesse said that they were pretty close when they worked together in the movies.
Jesse said that they he had some fun working with Arnold in Predator. He said that he's made more money in royalties than he got paid initially. He also said that he had to leave wrestling for 10 weeks to shoot it. He said that he was also the first wrestler to come in with an agent. He said that he went to the booker and asked to be on all of the shows out in California. The booker thought that he liked the weather but he was actually going out to meet with his agent. He eventually got that part on Predator which was originally called The Hunter.
Jesse said that he got the part on the movie pretty easy and then had to make the call to Vince to let him know that he had to be out for 10 weeks. Jesse said that he tried calling Vince but Vince didn't want to talk to him because he didn't have time for his personal life. That led to Jesse telling the guy to let Vince know that he was quitting to go work on this new movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Jesse said that Vince called him back 5 minutes later and asked about the movie and what was going on there. He said that Vince wanted him to use his agent but Jesse knew that the guy was going to be working for Vince and not for him.
Jesse said that Vince told him that he couldn't go do the movie because he needed him there. Jesse told him that he was going to quit if that was the case. He said that Vince is a great business man but he's ruthless and everything is focused on business and not on people.
Jesse said that he called Vince to do something last May or June and said he had a great angle for Wrestlemania. He said that he wanted to have him do a WWE thing where they were going to create their own political party. They'd have Vince as the candidate and go out and get all of the signatures they needed. He said that they could eventually put him into that spot and they could get him on the ballot that way.
Jesse said he met with Vince but Vince never called him back about that. He said that Vince owes him one and now he has to get even with him. Jesse said that if Howard had been mean to him today, he would have told him that he has to sleep some time after looking at him with his steely eyes. He'd get even with Howard too if he had to.
Jesse said that he did an episode of the TV show Hunter one time. He got a check for that show and Vince McMahon took 50 percent of that. He said that's when he split from Vince and started doing stuff on his own. He said that Vince was like that with a lot of wrestlers.
Howard got in a plug for Jesse's book ''Don't Start the Revolution Without Me!'' and spent a minute talking about that. Jesse said he was very pleased with this appearance because he can walk out of there saying that they are friends. Artie said ''thank god!'' and Howard went to break. Longest segment ever. They went until almost 9:10.