Howard started off the show talking about the tragedies that happened over the weekend... Smarty Jones not winning... or J-Lo and Marc Anthony getting married over the weekend. They spent a couple of minutes talking about how insane J-Lo is with her marriages. She hooks up with guys and doesn't last all that long with them.
Howard also brought up the Tony Awards and how he's sure everyone stayed up to watch that. He was being sarcastic of course. He went on to talk about The Sopranos and how funny that was. He said he couldn't remember specific parts because that stuff just doesn't stay with him very long. He said that Gary can remember specific stuff and repeat lines word for word. Howard was talking about a certain conversation between Tony and some other guy during the show that he found kind of funny.
Howard and the guys talked about the horse race over the weekend and how Smarty Jones lost the race at the end. Artie was there at Belmont for the race so he saw it live. He said he ended up waiting on a line for 3 hours for the train to get there. He said it really wasn't worth it at all. He wasn't even able to get to the betting window to place bets so he just watched the race. He only had 4 Jack and water's while he was there. Howard said if he had that many Jack and waters, he'd end up in an ambulance.
A listener called in and brought up how ugly Ronnie the Limo Driver looks on Howard's web site. He told Howard that he's so ugly that he should get the pictures of him off the site. Howard talked about some of the other stuff that's on the site after telling the guy he might be gay if he's that consumed with Ronnie.
Another caller brought up the J-Lo and Marc Anthony thing again. Howard went on to talk about how crazy it is for someone to have been engaged to someone just a couple of months before to go out and get married so quickly. Marc Anthony was just granted a divorce 5 days before the wedding. Howard seems to think that this is a great career move for Marc Anthony who he never really hears anything about. The guy was married to a beauty queen and got divorced from her and got married to J-Lo. The caller Howard had on the line thinks that going to her is a step-down. Howard seems to agree with him on that. Howard talked about how Jennifer seems to like effeminate men for some reason. He said she needs someone like a Chuck Zito who is a real man.
Bobo called in and brought up The Sopranos and how funny some of the show was. They spent a short time on that before Howard let him go. Another caller thought the show was horrible and they should have stopped it 2 weeks ago. He thought there were too many open questions about the show. Now people have to wait another 18 months before seeing new episodes. They talked about some of the things that happened in the show that the guy didn't like. Howard defended the show and explained some of the stuff the caller was bringing up.
Another phone caller told Howard that Marc Anthony is as popular as Jennifer Lopez in Puerto Rico but Howard said that doesn't mean anything here in the United States. The caller thinks that Marc doesn't need J-Lo like Howard thinks he does. Howard hung up on the guy and said that he does need her to get famous here in the States.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw a picture of Sumner Redstone's granddaughter and she was pretty hot. Howard said he saw that and she did look very hot. He said that's the one he might have to go after. He and the caller talked about her huge rack and how good she looked. That led to Howard talking about Vinnie Favale's love tapes where he talks about scratching his balls and his ''crucial head.'' He said he's thinking of creating a game where people would have to repeat as many of Vinnie's lines as possible in one minute. Fred was playing some of Vinnie's audio clips so the guys could goof on him even more. Howard said they have even more of Vinnie's love tapes that they haven't gone through yet. He doesn't know why they haven't done that. Gary said they have about 9 minutes of that stuff. Howard ended up goofing on Gary as well about the way he says the number nine. He says ''noine'' so he went off on that for a few seconds.
Howard said that porn star Tera Patrick will be in tomorrow. Yucko the Clown is in all week trying out for Stuttering John's job and he's in full make up. Howard also mentioned that Joey G from The Sopranos will be in later as well. Howard played tape of Artie yelling at him at the Hard Rock hotel when he was really drunk. They had a few minutes of that to go through and Artie was pretty embarrassed by the whole thing. Howard had to go to break after playing that tape and embarrassing Artie.
Howard had a barbecue for his daughter and a couple of her friends over the weekend. He said he made a ton of food for her. He had cheeseburgers and a bunch of salads but they didn't eat much of it. He said he had to throw out a lot of the stuff he bought.
Robin went to her nephew's graduation over the weekend. The kid is a genius and will be going on to the aeronautics field. Robin was reading some stuff about him and some of the awards he's won. She was bragging about how he had perfect attendance for 2 years and some other stuff. Howard thinks that the kid will end up living with her somehow. Robin said that he calls her ''Aunt Robin'' which he hates.
Big Black called in and thanked Howard for the Las Vegas trip and how the guy from Train got pissed during their performance because everyone was paying too much attention to what Artie was up to. He was so drunk that everyone was watching what he was up to instead. Howard said he doesn't know who's pissed at who but it was a lot of fun out there.
Another caller told Howard that he saw a report on the local news about that kid Max who was in last week to win a date with a porn star. He was giving too many details so Howard cut him off because he wanted to talk about it later in the show.
King of All Blacks called in and wanted to go off on Big Black but Howard had already hung up on him. He pointed out how fat Big Black looked out in Vegas. He was also talking about how Big Black seemed to be in some kind of daze while he was out there. He thinks he looks like he's on some kind of medication because of the way he was acting out there. King also asked Howard about the long shorts he was wearing out there in Vegas. Howard said that it was actually a bathing suit. He talked about that for a minute and then King told Howard that his girlfriend took a pregnancy test and found out that she's pregnant. He has a 15 year old daughter already but he thinks he wants to keep this kid. He told Howard he sees his 15 year old every week. Howard told him to have an abortion because if he has to live with the kid it's not going to be as good as the other situation he has. King is hoping it's a boy so he can name it Chad for some reason. He told Howard that he was told that if he did it from behind he'd have a boy so he kind of planned it. He told Howard to just get married to Beth already. He told Howard how fine Beth was when he saw her in person out there in Vegas. He told Howard he liked how naive she seemed to him and how great that is. He was also talking about some chick that was out there who he was told was running the whole thing out there. Howard had no idea who he was talking about though.
King told Howard that he's lost a bunch of weight since Vegas and he's looking like a model now. He's been following Howard's diet advice and he's lost about 10 pounds. Howard and Robin told him that 10 pounds is nothing for him. There's no way he looks like a model. King also said that he didn't like Angry Black while they were out there in Vegas. He said that he's wack and he was acting like him or something. Howard had to bail on the call when King started to talk about the TV show ''Punk'd.'' Howard went to break a short time later.
Tyler said that Max's mother called her and asked her not to talk to her son and not to take his phone calls. Howard thought that was kind of weird because his grandparents were there to support him but after it was all done, everyone was freaked out by it. Tyler didn't get to go to the prom because Max went by himself. He said he showed up and everyone was asking him where his date was. He was looking forward to the date but he wasn't able to bring her. Howard asked Max what he did after the prom. He drove around with friends while Tyler was sitting alone in her hotel room.
Tyler told Howard about the call she got from Max's mother and how she seemed to be afraid that the same thing was going to happen to Max that happened to Brad and Houston. Tyler said she was just going to have some fun and she wasn't going to do what Houston did with Brad. Howard gave Tyler a couple of plugs for her web site TylerFaith.com and the PornStarBall.com web site. He let Max and Tyler go after that.
The new episodes of The Sopranos don't start shooting until April of 2005 and Howard can't wait that long. He said that it's too long. Howard thought it would be funny if Joey's character raped Meadow's boyfriend or something like that.
Howard said that Joey was hoping that Howard's fans wouldn't be yelling out ''Fag'' while he was out in Las Vegas with them a few weeks ago. The fans didn't do that but after Artie got really drunk one day, he was calling Joey a fag himself. Joey said he'd forgotten about that until he heard it on the radio again the week after the Las Vegas shows.
Howard heard that Joey had a problem with a chick out there in Vegas. He ended up losing a bunch of stuff out there after hooking up with someone. He said that when you hook up with a chick in Vegas, make sure you lock up your valuables in the safe. Joey said he was hanging out with Henry Hill that night when he met someone and went back to his room with her. He said she was pretty hot from what he remembers. He didn't want to get into too many details because he has a new girlfriend who will get upset when she hears about this stuff. Artie said this is just like what happened to him out in Vegas a couple of years ago. Joey said he woke up in the bathtub and the chick had stolen about $1,200 to $1,500 plus his watch.
Artie told Joey about how he got rolled by this chick out in Vegas a while ago. He said he thought he was with some normal chick but she woke him up and told him that he owed her $500. Howard wanted to talk about how Joey told him about going to the Dominican Republic and picked up chicks but Joey had his girlfriend listening so he said it must have been from when he was a young man.
Howard thought that Joey might have some mob connections so he might have had Artie whacked because he was calling him a fag and all. Artie said he might have to check with some of his connections. Howard said Artie doesn't know any mob guys, he just knows roofers.
A listener called in and said that he might have a picture of the chick who ripped Joey off out in Vegas. He'd taken a picture of Joey with Henry Hill and there was a chick there who might be that chick.
Howard replayed the tape of Artie yelling at Joey out in Vegas again. He was completely wasted and yelling at Joey about being a fag since he plays one on The Sopranos. Howard ripped through a few more phone calls and let some people talk about The Sopranos. One guy called in as Joey's date but he was using his regular male voice since Joey plays a gay guy on the show.
Howard congratulated Joey on the great season of the show and asked him what he'll be up to while he's waiting to work on the next season of the show. He said he'll be doing appearances and working for some other companies while he's waiting to go back to work with them.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and asked Joey how he got that job. He said that he was cast in a few other movies and they knew him already. Mariann was looking for a job as well and Howard thinks she might be good on The Sopranos.
Joey is appearing in Johnny Slade's Greatest Hits which is coming out later this year. Howard talked to him a little bit about that and then started to wrap up the interview. Joey said something about how he thinks that OJ's son may have had something to do with the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson. Howard thought that was an outrageous theory and he doesn't think anyone but OJ had anything to do with that murder. Howard then wrapped up with Joey and went to break. You can find out more about Joey at his web site JoeSoup.com
Howard talked about some of the stuff that Reagan did while he was in office and how he did do some good things. He didn't do much about the whole AIDS epidemic while he was in office though. Gary came in and said that one of the pall bearers is going to be Merv Griffin. He was wondering if he's a little too old to be carrying around a casket like that.
Howard also talked about how Reagan also had a lot to do with blocking free speech and abortions and stuff like that. Howard said he might have something to do with the problems he's having with the FCC and stuff like that as well. He said he was a good dude even if that is the case. He said that he helped put an end to Communism and took down that wall. Howard said that he's not the greatest guy who ever lived like everyone is saying. Howard said that George Washington was the greatest President and Lincoln comes in second after that according to Howard.
Howard brought up Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez again and goofed on them a little more. He said that if Jennifer's brains were in her ass, she'd be a genius.
This guy Greg, who is in jail for threatening Bush, told Howard that people shouldn't be upset about Reagan's death. Howard has had Greg on the show before but now he's in jail for some of the things he's done. He was rambling about how Reagan died on the 6th of June with is another ''double 6'' thing in his life. He pointed out some other things with the number 6 in it. Howard had to bail on the call because the guy is so scary. He said it's a good thing they finally locked the guy up. You can find out more about him at his web site LightOfTheWorld.com
This guy Richard Botto, President/CEO of Razor magazine called in to talk to Howard about he controversy about their article. Howard has a problem with them because they threw a party for Howard and made it seem like he was going to be part of this party. Howard said that he heard from one company that was asked to contribute some stuff to the party in his name. Howard told Richard that he didn't want to be on the cover of the magazine and the picture they used was from another photo shoot he did years ago. Howard told him he didn't want anything to do with the party they threw in his name and that's what he's pissed off about. Richard told Howard that to the best of his knowledge, no one ever asked his friend to donate stuff to the party by using Howard's name. He said he'd talk to him about that and find out what went on.
Dennis came in so Howard asked him about the thing on his ankle. Dennis said he couldn't show them that. He showed it to Robin who saw that it had a transmitter on it. Dennis told them that it's there to let someone know where he is. Dennis said it's obvious that he did something wrong and that's why they're keeping an eye on him. Dennis told Howard a story about how he got pulled over not too long ago and didn't have any license or something like that. He wasn't saying why he had the ankle bracelet on. Gary came in and said that he pled no-contest to a DUI charge so that's why he has the bracelet on. Gary also thought that he was forced to drive a car that won't start unless you do a breath test. He said sometimes the car will just shut down and you have to breath into it while you're driving.
Dennis was wearing some hats with advertising on them so Howard asked him about that. Dennis said that one of the products, Enjoy RX (EnjoyRX.com) was something for women that helps them get off. It's a spray that can be used for a woman's area to lube her up. Howard couldn't get over the ankle thing that Dennis had on so he quickly got back to that. Dennis told Howard that it starts working when he wakes up in the morning and it tracks his location.
Howard asked Dennis about his wife and what's going on there. Dennis said he still loves that woman and he'll love her no matter what. He said that's just part of his life and some women just can't handle some of the stuff that goes on in his life.
Howard took some phone calls for Dennis and one guy brought up his appearance on ''The View'' and how strange that was. Dennis said he was sitting there and all of the women were just talking between themselves and not to him. He was wondering why he was even there and almost walked off the show.
Howard wanted to know about what's going on with Dennis and the NBA. Dennis said that he's in great shape and he has to show Howard his body. He knows that Howard is in good shape now too. That led to them talking about the time that Artie saw Dennis in the steam room at the Hard Rock in Vegas last year. Artie was fully clothed when he was in there but Dennis was completely naked. Artie said that he wasn't that impressed with Dennis' member at the time. He said he was bigger than him but he wasn't blown away by it.
Howard read that Dennis is upset about his neighbors being noisy so he's selling his house. Dennis says that's not true and he's selling the house for his wife. He just had to get out of Newport because his wife wanted him to change. He's going to live in a hotel for now and he's going to try to get things back together for his wife.
Dennis says that he's going back to the NBA but he can't say what team it is until July sometime. He's going to be a big press conference in July. He says he doesn't have a team set up yet but he promises that he will be back in the NBA in July.
Howard took some phone calls for Dennis after that. Zolar called in as a woman and said that he had been with Dennis intimately... Then he broke into his very deep voice and just laughed. Chaunce Hayden called in with some stories about Dennis. He said that he interviewed one of Dennis' ex-girlfriends and she said he's packing about 10 inches. Dennis also told the story about how he broke his penis but the delay was being hit during that so we missed out on some of it. Chaunce tired to fill Howard in on some of the details on what happened between Dennis and Stacy from Scores but it was too dirty and the delay was hit.
Dennis said that when he has sex he does it like he's going to war. He said if he's going to bang some chick she'd better be ready for war. Chaunce noticed that he seems more lucid than he usually does and people can actually understand what he's saying. Dennis told the guys that he hasn't had a drink in 9 months now.
Howard took some more phone calls for Dennis. One guy tried to get Dennis going by calling him ''washed up'' and calling him some names but Dennis didn't seem to care. Another caller asked Dennis if he was ever able to hook up with Jenna Jameson when he was hanging out with her. He said he was never able to make that happen because she was in love with some other guy at the time.
Howard took one call from a guy who told Dennis that Howard had been with Carmen Electra just trying to get him upset. It turned out to be the white rapper. That led to Howard talking to Dennis about Carmen for a couple of minutes. Howard wondered if he ever video taped sex with her. Dennis said that would have been great to do but he never did that.
Howard talked to Dennis about the breakup with his wife. He wondered how that came about and how you break up with someone you don't really even live with. Dennis says that he could bang any woman he wants out there and he could make them happy. Howard wanted to hear her side of the story so he was going to try and call her. Dennis gave him the phone number and Gary made the call.
Dennis' wife Michelle was on the line a short time later. Howard asked her about why she dumped him. The two of them say that they want each other back but Michelle says he needs to make some changes in his life. Dennis said he knew he had some problems and now he's going to change some things. Howard wanted to know what the main complaint was. She said it had to do with the time he was spending with his family. Dennis says there's a first time for everything and he may be able to spend time at home like Michelle wants him to. She said that he can still be Dennis Rodman but she wants him to spend some time at home.
Howard doesn't think that they're going to be able to work this out because it sounds like Dennis isn't going to compromise like Michelle wants him to. Michelle said that the sex with Dennis is so good that it has fixed the relationship a few time... That's why she's staying away from him for a while. Dennis was saying that he can promise certain things but then things might happen that he doesn't want to happen that could screw everything up.
Dennis knows the names of his kids and their birthdays so Howard seemed kind of impressed by that. Dennis said that if the relationship doesn't work out with Michelle, he's just going to go back to banging chicks like crazy. Michelle was saying that she wants Dennis to be Dennis but she also wants him to be home once in a while. That made it hard for Howard and Robin to figure out exactly what the problem was because it sounded like there wasn't really a problem there. Howard let Michelle go and wrapped things up with Dennis after that. Dennis is going to be hosting a party at Crowbar in Manhattan tonight at 10.
Yucko did some nursery rhymes about people on the show. He sang about Howard the ''heby-jeeby Jew'' and then sang about Artie being fat and about KC being a fag. He then sings about Robin being a ''nig***'' to the tune of ''How Much is that Dog in the Window.'' Yucko seems to think he already has the job. Howard and Robin thought that stuff was pretty funny.
Yucko said he has a lot of stuff coming up later this week. Howard liked his nursery rhymes so much he wanted to play it again. He went ahead and did that and got a few more laughs out of that. Yucko said ''just wait until tomorrow'' when he'll have even more stuff. Robin said that Yucko was lip syncing to the song as it was playing.
Howard took some phone calls and a few people thought he should get the job. Zolar called in and said that he did an excellent job on the song. He said he wanted to bash him but liked the song. A couple of people called in and said that he's a mess and shouldn't get the job. People suggested that Howard hire him now. Yucko said he'd wear his costume to work every day if he got the job.
One caller said that he's in Chicago and they took Howard off the air during the Joey G interview earlier when they were playing Artie's tape when he was calling Joey a fag and stuff like that. Gary came in and told Howard that they almost had to do that during the Dennis Rodman interview because of some of the stuff they were talking about. He didn't know about the Joey G thing so he had to go make a call. The board op out there told Gary that they had some technical problems during that interview so that's what the missing minute of the show was.
Jeff the Drunk and Bobo called in and told Yucko how good he was. Bobo said he like Sal's work before Yucko came in and did his thing. Now he likes his work. Howard had to take a break after that but he said Yucko would be back tomorrow with more stuff.
Howard talked about the Tony awards that were on over the weekend. He played some audio of Phylicia Rashad giving an acceptance speech. He goofed on that a little and also talked about how his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend won a Tony and gave a speech. Howard said he sat there and called him a homo the whole time. He said that Beth and the guy are still good friends and keep in touch but it doesn't bother him.
Howard played a few other clips from the Tony Awards and goofed on some of the dopey speeches people were making. He then played some tape of an OJ Simpson interview Katie Couric did with him. Howard and the guys goofed on OJ a bit about all of the stuff he was saying in the interview which was took place on the 10th anniversary of his ex-wife's murder. Howard played a few minutes of that interview but he had a lot more to get to. He didn't have time to play it all so he had Robin get to her news.
Howard was in a bad mood first thing in the morning. He said he's always in a mood when he's asleep and his alarm goes off. He was also annoyed by a fake picture of him in the paper being arrested by the cops for rape because the new CSI show is doing a show about a DJ who gets arrested for rape. He said he's going to start creating pictures of Rupert Murdoch for his web site because it's his paper the NY Post that's doing the phony picture. He doesn't know what he's done to deserve this and it's really pissing him off. He wants to create a picture of Rupert Murdoch being picked up for rape with tiny print saying ''not really'' below it just like the Post did to him. He was trying to find a name in the paper saying who is running that paper so he can go after them as well.
Howard said Murdoch will probably pretend like he doesn't know what's going on there at the paper... until he starts posting phony pictures of him being picked up on rape charges. Howard opened the NY Daily News and tried to find who puts that paper together as well. He found it on the editorial page. He looked through the whole paper and eventually found Rupert Murdoch's name and a couple of others. He said he's going to pick one of those names and print phony pictures and stories on his web site. He was thinking of having some fans picket his house with signs saying he's a child rapist or something like that.
There was one positive story about Howard in the paper about Sumner Redstone and how he's willing to go to Washington to defend him. Howard read the article and Redstone seems to think Howard will resign with Infinity when his contract is up at the end of next year because going to satellite would be foolish. Howard doesn't think that's the case and he likes a challenge.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Howard if he could go after the paper for what the printed about him. Howard said they're doing a gag picture so it's not really actionable but it is wrong. He pointed out that it's the only goofy picture in the paper and it's someone's fantasy that he'd be arrested for rape. He said it's a long way to go for the paper to report on one plot line of CSI (Actually Law & Order: Special Victim's Unit) where a deejay gets arrested for rape and they put in a picture of him.
A caller claiming to be Adam from ''Punk'd'' told Howard that he's been mentioning Howard's name as much as possible on the show. Howard said that if they ever tried to Punk him, he'd kill them and never let them use the video. He and Robin talked about some of the episode's they've seen and how pissed off the celebrities get when they go through all of that stuff. Howard said that if Ashton ever ''Punk'd'' him, just wait to see what he'd do to him and Demi Moore. He said he'd have Ashton's balls on a plate and he'd take his friggin head and slam it into the street. As he was being brought to the hospital he'd tell him that he'd been ''punk'd'' and when Ashton tells him it's not funny, he'd tell him ''neither is your show.'' He also said he'd take a pillow and smother Ashton.
Howard said he's heard that there are celebrities that get upset when they get ''Punk'd'' and refuse to let them use the video. Howard told the guy that he wants him to come work for him so they can punk Ashton Kutcher. He wants him to burn him with a lit cigar and tell him that he's been ''punk'd.'' Howard told Adam to give Ashton a message. He said that he would sew Demi Moore's privates shut after putting a rat inside and then tell Ashton that he'd been punk'd. When they complain that it hurts, he'd tell them that it doesn't hurt, you've just been punk'd and it's funny.
Howard gave another example of what he'd do to Ashton if he was ever punk'd. He said that he would tie Ashton up to a fence and have Lexington Steele re-create the rape scene from Deliverance. He said it's not rape when it's someone being ''Punk'd.'' Adam told Howard that he's going to continue to use his name as much as possible on that show.
Howard took another call about the NY Post thing and talked about how wrong that is. He spent a couple of minutes talking about that and how he really does have to go after the Murdoch's because of it. That's the only way they'll pay attention to what he's complaining about. Howard was ready to go home after talking about that for so long. He went off on Ashton Kutcher again and said that if he got a hold of Ashton, he'd slam his head into the sidewalk and stomp on his head for a half hour until he was bloody. Then he'd tell him it was funny because he'd just been ''Punk'd'' and it's funny when you have a camera on stuff like that. There was also mention of throwing kerosene on him and lighting him on fire. Howard had to take a break after that.
Howard played a clip of Britany Murphy being interviewed next. Garver tried to get in some questions but she was babbling so much he had a tough time getting it in. He asked her if she thinks oral sex is cheating. She thinks it is.
Next up was Nicole Richie who is supposed to be on the show soon. He said that she looks amazing on the cover of an upcoming Stuff magazine and he doesn't know how they did it. He wondered how much air brushing they had to do on her to make her look that good. He said that she's a cute girl but she doesn't look that good. Howard said if she looks that good in person, he's going to ask her to marry him when she comes in. He was looking at those pictures and couldn't believe what he was seeing. Howard played her interview and Gary asked her who she is voting for in November. She didn't know. She was also asked if Artie Lange is out of control. She didn't want to answer that one. Gary then asked her if oral sex is cheating. She said it all depends on who you are married to. He then asked her about retarded people being sterilized. She was shocked by that question so Garver let her go after that.
Shaun Wayans got annoyed at Gary Garver when he asked him if he supports gay marriage and a question about the middle east. He also asked him a question about Bill Cosby and the comments he's made about blacks lately. He seemed a little bothered by all of the questions and just wanted to promote his movie ''White Girls.''
Eric Roberts was asked about the FCC and George Bush and even repeated after Garver saying ''My name is Eric Roberts, I support Howard Stern and if the FCC doesn't like it, they can kiss my ass.'' Howard said that Eddie Van Halen has also come out in support of Howard so he mentioned that. He said there's an article about that in a magazine that Howard mentioned quickly.
Howard had an interview with D12 that Garver did. Garver asked D12 some stuff about Cosby, retards being sterilized and about whether or not Artie Lange is out of control. D12 didn't know who Artie was until Garver told him he's on the Stern show. Then he said that he was a good guy.
Howard moved on and played some tape of Bill Parcels putting his foot in his mouth by talking about ''JAP plays'' during a press conference. He said ''no disrespect to the orientals'' before mentioning the ''Jap plays.'' Artie thought that was kind of funny and he might as well have said ''No disrespect to the Coons... but we have these nig*** plays.''
Howard read that the reason Jennifer Lopez had to get married last weekend was because she's pregnant. He said that's a really great reason to get married.
A bunch of people compared Yucko to Sal the Stockbroker who did a great job when he was in trying out for John's job. Howard read through some more of the mail he got about Yucko and then moved on to some other topics. One person asked Howard about ''Private Parts'' and if he has watched it lately. Howard said that his 11 year old wanted to watch the movie so he let her see the first 5 or 10 minutes because there were too many adult themes in the movie for her. He once tried to watch it with Beth but it was too creepy because of all of the marriage stuff that was brought up in the movie. He said he hasn't seen the whole movie in a long time.
Howard got some mail about Dennis Rodman and how good he was on the show yesterday. There are rumors that he will be playing with the NY Knicks next season but they're just rumors. There were some negative mails about him as well from people saying that he's a bore when he's on the show.
Howard whipped through a bunch of other mails and read one that I wrote to them about pointing a new web site name for Craig Gass' web site to his web site. If you go to IHateWashingMyHands.com to IHateComedians.com after hearing Howard tell Craig that he should change the name of his site to something like that. Howard even gave me a mention since I was the one who did the responsible thing and grabbed that web site name. Here's what I wrote:
Since Howard mentioned that Craig Gass should change his web site name from IHateComedians.com to IHateWashingMyHands.com... I did the responsible thing and grabbed the domain name and pointed it to Craig's site so now you can plug IHateWashingMyHands.com when he's on the show now. He'll never live it down.
Double A called in and told Howard how he couldn't get that Yucko the Clown song out of his head yesterday. He thought it was pretty good. Another caller asked Howard if he could help him get home from Vegas because he'd lost all of his money out there. Howard had to take a break after that and played the clip of Eric the Midget going off on him about goofing on the American Idol contestants. Howard said the other day that he sounds like an evil villain talking about him in the voice mail. Eric left another message after hearing that and went off on him about that as well.
Artie was goofing on Eric's voice in those angry voice mails of his. He was recreating those and getting Eric mad at him. Eric came back with a couple of jabs of his own. Howard replayed the voice mails that Eric left for them not too long ago where he went off on Howard about picking on the American Idol contestants. Fred played some music in the background to create that evil-villain sound for him. Eric wasn't playing along very well though. He didn't fight back against their goofing.
Eric says he's on his family summer vacation that they take every year. He's right down at the New Jersey Shore so he's only a few hours from New York City. Howard doesn't know why he doesn't just come in. Eric asked if they'll be there in July because that's when he'll be in New Jersey. Howard said they're there at the end of July so they may be able to get him in there then. Gary came in and told Howard that Eric's parents despise Howard so that's why he may not be able to get up there. Eric said he may be able to find another relative who can help him get up there.
Eric told Howard that his parents are the types of Republican's that think that Bush can do nothing wrong. He said he used to be a republican until Bush started screwing up. They spent a couple of minutes talking about that. Eric then put the word out to the Seacrest people that he would like to go to a family event with Kelly Clarkson. Howard told him that he might be able to make that happen himself. Eric thinks that Seacrest might have more contacts to Kelly's people than Howard does.
A caller told Howard that Eric sounds like the woman from the movie ''Poltergeist'' and he should have him say ''This house is clean.'' Eric didn't want to repeat after him though. Howard tired to get him to say ''Walk into the light'' but he wasn't into that either. Artie wanted him to say ''Follow the yellow brick road.'' That wasn't happening either. Howard got him to say ''Walk into the light'' but it was a half-hearted attempt on Eric's end. Howard wanted some feeling from Eric but he couldn't make it happen. He did do a pretty good ''E.T. phone home'' line. Howard told him to send in that video tape of his audition. He said he'd check that out and see how he does.
Howard wondered why she didn't make it in Playboy. She'd already done Penthouse and Hustler so she was ''tainted'' and Playboy didn't want her. She told Howard she got a call from a porn guy after that and did an all girl movie with that company. She said once she went to porn there was no going back so that's why she's still doing it. She owns her own company now and they put out their own movies.
Tera told Howard and Robin that she didn't make much money in the beginning. You get ripped off and don't make any money. She said now she has her own videos and web site at ClubTera.com and she's doing very well.
Howard said that Tera did a movie with Savanna the porn star so Howard asked her about that. She talked about how she got it on with her but the delay was hit on that. She was talking about the lesbian scenes she did with Savanna but the delay kept getting hit for some reason so we were missing out on the details. Howard tried to go through more of it with her but it was tough to follow. She was saying that she was actually the aggressor in the scenes even though she didn't have all that much experience.
Howard talked to Tera about the guy she's with now and how she hooked up with him. She works with him in some of her movies. Howard was talking about the size of the guy's member but the delay was hit once again.
Howard read that Tera went out with the singer Everlast but he didn't treat her very well. She said that she thinks he was very insecure and that's why he had issues with her. She thinks that he had problems with her doing porn. Howard read that she likes being choked in bed until she passes out as well. She likes that but Howard wondered if it was dangerous. She said that they do it carefully and she doesn't always pass out. She said that if people knew what she was like in her personal life, they'd think that it was rape. She said that they have some rough sex sometimes and her guy Evan smacks her around and ties her up sometimes. That led to Howard asking her if he could tie her up in the tickle chair.
Tera didn't want to let Howard put her in the tickle chair because she's very ticklish. Howard told her he wouldn't do anything weird to her. He just wanted to do a little tickling. She got in the chair a short time later. Tera said she was really scared being in the chair. She was wearing a very low cut top so Howard figured her boobs would be jiggling quite a bit when he tickles her. Tera told Howard that she did some tickle videos years ago when she was first starting out.
Howard went over and told her that he heard she has a fear of clowns. She said she does and she ran out of a circus one time because of a clown. Howard also heard that her worst subjects were math and science so that's what he'd be asking her about. He said that if she doesn't cooperate they would bring in Yucko the Clown. She got in a few plugs for her web site ClubTera.com before Howard started to ask her questions. He first asked her a math question that she actually got right. He then asked her something like ''You've done 36 sex scenes in past 6 months, you will keep up that pace, how many will you do in an entire year?'' She didn't have an answer so Howard tickled her. She screamed out in laughter as he did it. Howard asked her another question that was something like ''If Dick Schlonger is 9 inches and Howiener has 4 1/2, how much bigger is Dick Schlonger?'' She knew the answer to that one as well. There were a couple of goofy questions that she knew the answers to so Howard brought in Yucko to freak her out a little bit. She was kind of freaked out by him and wouldn't look at him. She said he looked like John Wayne Gasey. Howard ended up tickling her again when she couldn't add 29 plus 29 quick enough. She was screaming out as he tickled her.
Howard told Tera that if she didn't get the next question right, the clown was going to kiss her. Howard asked her another math question and she got it wrong so Howard tickled her and told her that Yucko was going to kiss her. Yucko went over and kissed her on the cheek. Howard got in another tickle after that and made her scream out again. He let her go after that because she was so worn out.
Tera said she had fun doing that. She went on to tell Howard that she heard him talking about the ''Punk'd'' stuff earlier in the show and she was almost ''Punk'd'' one time. They were going to steal her dog and she didn't understand why they would do something like that. Howard spent a minute talking to her about that and about the whole Clown thing. He then had the guys bring in Tera's husband Evan Seinfeld.
Tera took off her top because she was so hot from the tickling. Howard and Artie were impressed with her fake breasts. Evan told Howard that it was Dr. George Lefkovitz who did the work on her and did a great job. Howard was trying to get her to let them feel her up but that wasn't happening. Evan talked to Howard for a little while about how he hooked up with Tera. He also told Howard how he got into the porn movies with his wife and how he's like the first mainstream actor to do porn like that. Yucko asked to see her ass so she agreed and showed everyone her ass.
Howard took some phone calls and let some guys tell her how hot she was. There were guys calling in saying that they were aroused after hearing her getting tickled. Howard gave her a few more plugs for appearances she has coming up soon and for her web site ClubTera.com as he was wrapping up the interview.
Howard said he did an experiment with Tom Chiusano yesterday. He was having a conversation with their Program Director when Tom walked by. He tried to ignore him but Tom just had to start a conversation about nothing. Howard said that he could have just walked right past him but Tom just can't do that. He has to talk about something. He said there's never been a time when he can just walk by without saying anything. Tom came in and said that they did have a conversation about something that they needed to talk about. Howard said he could have waited until later to talk to him about it though.
Howard had more OJ Simpson interview clips to play. He started playing an interview yesterday but today he had another one. OJ has been going out doing interviews for the 10th anniversary of the death of his ex-wife. Howard can't imagine why he would do something like that unless you're a psychotic killer. Greta Van Susteren interviewed OJ about what's been going on with him lately since the murders. Howard would play little bits and pieces of the interview and goof on him about the stuff he was talking about. OJ talked about his daily life and how he plays golf and stuff like that every day. He's writing stuff down that happens in his life. He said he's also been watching a lot of Court TV.
Vinnie Favale called in and said that Catherine Cryer is going to do a live interview with OJ tomorrow night so ''anything could happen.'' Howard said nothing is going to happen. Vinnie said that she wants to call in to get some questions from Howard that she can ask OJ. Howard said there's no way she'd ask his questions and she just wants some publicity.
Howard had clips of OJ talking about a bunch of different things. OJ talks about Nicole and how he thinks about her from time to time. He said there are times that he's angry at her because she's not around to help out with the kids. He also talked about Kato Kaelin and what pisses him off about him as well. OJ said that Nicole hated Kato for some reason and she wanted him out of the guest house. Howard said OJ sounds nuts talking about Kato the way he was talking about him. He was almost making it sound like Kato could have had something to do with Nicole's death.
Greta asked OJ what his regrets were in his life. OJ laughed and said that his friends used to joke and tell him that he should have kept his butt in New York and he wouldn't have any of these problems. He went on to talk about how he had affairs while he was with two wives so that was a regret of his. He said he didn't have a lot of affairs, but he did have some. howard said he could listen to OJ all day long. He also thought that Katie Couric did a better interview with him. He was going to wrap up but Ralph called in and got him interested in playing more clips.
Howard played another clip where OJ talked about Denise Brown and how she's just trying to be famous with everything that's gone on since her sister's death. Howard played one more after that and he was going to wrap up. OJ talked about how tough things have been on the kids since their mother's death. He talked about how Nicole wasn't there to support the kids and how he has to take over for her on that stuff. Howard cut the clip short and went to break so he could get to Yucko.
Yucko the Clown (DamnShow.com) came in a short time later with his Wack Pack member Rackem Rack Willie. Willie repeats ''Rackem, rackem'' over and over again for some reason. Howard had Yucko prepare for his game ''When Did I Bathe.'' Yucko told Howard that he had 4 chicks coming in to try and guess when Rackem Rack Willie does certain things like brushing his teeth and taking a bath.
Yucko had four women in bikinis lined up to play the game. He explained to the girls how to play the game but he was very nervous and shaking as he read the rules to them. He told them to write down the number of days it's been since Willie last brushed his teeth. He told them they could smell his breath if they wanted. Howard said he could smell a disaster coming. He then asked Piper, Jessica, Cornelia and Jahara how many days it had been. They guessed 14, 5, 5 and 7 days. Rackem Rack Willie said that it had actually been 420 days. Yucko said that the girls had to brush his teeth but skipped out on that and move on to the next question.
Yucko asked the girls how long it had been since he last took a bath. The girls guessed 200, 102, 300 and 450 days. Rackem Rack said it had been only 25 days since he last bathed. The losers had to bathe Willie in a tub they had set up in the studio. Howard told Yucko he didn't think that the bit worked.
Howard asked Willie where he lives. He found out he lives in Athens, Georgia. Robin didn't think the bit worked but Rackem Rack Willie was an interesting guy who just wasn't used in the right way. Artie said that the bit stunk worse than Willie. Willie told Howard that he last got laid about 50 days ago. He sure keeps track of when stuff happens. Yucko says that he has plenty more to do on the show later this week.
Gary asked Yucko how much it cost him to get Willie up there. He had to fly him up there and hire the 4 girls to come in. Howard and the guys were saying that this is his ''Waterworld'' or his ''Heaven's Gate'' because he spent so much money on it and it failed. The girls are from a club called Wiggles in Queens. Howard wrapped up the game after that. Rackem Rack Willie was rambling saying ''Rackem Rack'' over and over again. Howard asked him if he did a lot of drugs when he was younger. Willie said that he did just about every drug except heroin.
Joey Boots called in and told Yucko he was going down because he won't be able to do in one week what he did in one day. Howard let a few other calls and let people goof on Yucko before he went to commercial break.
Howard also brought up the fact that he has a written letter from someone at Razor magazine asking a store called Ricky's for some free stuff for the party they threw for the Howard Stern issue of the magazine that Howard had nothing to do with. Howard said that they can print that letter in their magazine when they issue him an apology. He said they also owe Dominic from Ricky's an apology as well.
Howard talked about how Yucko had a bad day today but so did Sal the Stockbroker who ended up having a bunch of good days as well. He seems to think that Yucko might just be able to come back with some good stuff later in the week. Don't count him out yet. Robin started her news after that.
During the news the guys were talking about OJ Simpson and J.D. came in to tell Howard about one part of the interview they played earlier. That led to the guys goofing on J.D. a little bit about the way he talks. Artie was goofing on him and Howard was trying to find out of he's been able to get laid yet. He said he hasn't yet but he's working on it. He's also working on getting a date for an upcoming party they're all going to. Howard tried to find out more about that but J.D. wasn't very forthcoming. He said that he did ask someone out but they haven't gone out yet. He said they may go out to lunch today. Howard said he seems to have a new attitude and he's looking good these days.
Gary came in and said that he thinks that J.D.'s date is there today. He only meets people there at the station so that's why they met there. Howard told him that he can't bang any of the interns. J.D. Said that he hasn't done anything and he's not going to. Howard told him he'd hate to lose him because of something like that. Gary said that J.D. never goes out anywhere. He just sits at home and watches movies and stuff like that. Howard told Gary that they might be screwing things up for him by talking about all of this.
Howard told J.D. That he can't date his daughter's friend who is working there as an intern. Gary thought that Artie had banged an intern while working on a TV show. Artie told him it was actually an extra, not an intern. The guys continued to goof on the poor guy for a couple of minutes.
Ralph called in and asked why he can't bang an intern. Howard told Ralph that when a college kid comes in to work as an intern, the parents expect that there will be some business like behavior. Gary told Howard that they actually have a company rule that they can't sleep with them because interns are graded for their work there and it could be said that the grades were influenced by their relationship.
Ralph also asked Howard who he thinks would win a battle between OJ Simpson and Batman. Howard and the guys spent a couple of minutes talking about that. They let J.D. go back to work so he could get the clip of OJ that he was talking about.
Gary said that he went out to talk to the interns to find out who J.D. might be going to lunch with and they all said that it wasn't them. He thinks that the intern might not even know that they're supposed to go to lunch. J.D. came back in and told Howard that he just told the intern that he was going to take her to lunch but didn't say when. Artie wanted to line up all of the interns and try to pick the right one out. Artie was laughing hysterically in the back as he heard the details about this. He was getting kind of brutal with him and was goofing on him relentlessly. Howard let J.D. go without bringing in any of the interns. He didn't want to make things any worse. Robin got back to her news after that.
Howard started off the show talking about how hot it was supposed to get there in New York City today. He said it was going to be in the 90's. He went on to talk about what they had coming up later in the morning including Yucko the Clown who is in all week trying out for Stuttering John's job. He mentioned that he started to watch ''Last Comic Standing'' that was on last night and he thought it was really good. He liked the way they went through all of the comedians very quickly. Howard talked about how they showed some good comics and some really bad ones. Artie told Howard that the guys who judge the comics are from the Tonight Show. They book the guests for them. Howard didn't know that and wondered why they don't fire Jay Leno from the show. Artie said he met them out in Aspen when he did a comedy thing out there and was asked to do the Tonight Show. He told them he'd rather not do that show. Gary told Howard that the effeminate guy used to manage The Funny Gay Males or something like that. Howard thought the judges were good at picking the people on the show.
Artie was up watching basketball last night and said that he can't believe the difference between him and Robin and Howard. He watches sports while they watch all of these weird TV shows. Artie talked about Kobe Bryant and an amazing shot he made during the game last night. Howard said he would watch that if he knew it was on but it was on late so he wouldn't have been able to watch it.
Howard said the surprising thing was that Will Durst was on ''Last Comic Standing'' last night. He's a well known comic so Howard was surprised to see him on there. Robin couldn't believe that he was actually on the show. Durst says that a friend of his did the show and it helped jump start his career, that's why he's doing it. Beth has a friend, Eddie Ifft, who made it through the first round as well. Artie said he knows that guy and he's a good guy. Howard said he's had him over to his place as well and he seems like a good guy.
Gary told Howard about how they do the judging once they start taking the comics to the finals. The audiences start to judge instead of those two judges that picked the semi-finalists. Howard was goofing on the effeminate guy a little bit about the way he was complaining about the comics. Howard said that the show was really well edited and put together very well. He didn't even know that Jay Mohr had anything to do with it.
Howard heard that Stuttering John was into the show so that led to him talking about how John seems to think that he's a stand-up comedian now. Gary told Howard how that happened and how he had the traveling Stuttering John show where big comedians had to audition for him. Gary said that John seems to think that he discovered Nick DiPaolo even though the guy has been around for a long time. Fred started to do his Stuttering John impression and goofed on him a little bit. Howard said Jackie the Joke Man was the same way. When he met him he was doing bachelor parties. When he left the show he was making some good money and he still doesn't know why he left. He seemed to think he was a genius or something.
Howard told the guys that watching that ''Last Comic Standing'' is really depressing. He said after seeing Will Durst on the show he got really depressed. He just looks like he's been beaten by the world. Robin said she missed the show because she was watching stuff on Bravo instead.
Chaunce Hayden called in and said that he heard that there was some controversy with the judges on the show. He said that they walked off the show or something when the producers wanted them to pick people they didn't want to pick or something like that. Howard said he doesn't care about that stuff. He was talking about how there was one chick on the show who had some nice legs that he was checking out. That led to him talking about Tera Patrick who was on the show yesterday and how hot she looked when she came in. He said they have a couple of pictures of her on HowardStern.com and she looks really sexy in the pictures. He said he was telling Beth how hot she was but he may have been a little too enthusiastic about it and she asked him if he'd rather be with her. Howard had to bail on Chaunce's phone call when he started to tell a story that was a little boring according to him.
Howard said he had to watch the Tera Patrick video he got from her yesterday... ''Tera Tera Tera.'' He wasn't able to watch it last night but he will take it home and watch it today. He'd like to have sex with her but he's afraid that she's got some kind of disease so he couldn't do it without a condom. That led to the guys talking about the type of girl they would give and receive oral sex from.
A woman called in and asked Howard for some advice on going to Scores when she goes to New York for vacation. She wondered if they let women in just to hang out with a guy. Howard told her they let them do that and a lot of women go there and meet chicks and end up going home with the strippers. Howard told her that if she's not good looking enough or if she's overweight, they may not let her into Scores. He was making up a bunch of rules that don't really exist to goof on her.
A listener called in and told Howard how hot Maria Menounos was on the E! show last night. The caller thought that Howard grabbed some boob while he was tickling her but Howard said he didn't actually do that. He said it was an optical illusion. Howard said that he'd take oral from her if he had the chance. He was talking about oral again but the delay was getting hit a couple of times.
A caller gave Howard an F***, Marry, Kill game which included Tera Patrick, Savanna Samson and Jenna Jameson. Howard said he'd Marry Tera, F*** Savanna and Kill Jenna if he had to pick. He said he's never gotten the vibe that Jenna was all that into him. Artie said he'd marry Jenna because she's got the money. Howard was thinking of the love before the money.
Another caller told Howard that the Tera Patrick movie he was talking about earlier, ''Tera Tera Tera,'' was really good. That led to them talking about how good looking Tera is again. Howard said she looks kind of like one of the chicks on ''Smallville'' to him.
Howard took another call from a guy who brought up President Reagan and how he was the worst President we ever had. He and Howard talked about that for a short time. Howard said this couldn't have come at a worse time either. He talked about how Reagan may have been helped if President Bush allowed stem cell research but he won't allow it so he's holding back on progress on stuff like that. Howard and the guys spent a little more time talking about the negative things that Reagan did while he was in office but he was a popular guy. Howard said that Bush is trying to make it seem like he's like Reagan in certain ways but it's just not going to work. After talking about that for a short time Howard had to take his first commercial break.
Gary had another clip that he found where the light he was using blew out and it was a big omen for him. On the tape Vinnie talks about how he said goodnight and the bulb blew out. He said that it would have caused chaos in his life if the light had blown out before then. Vinnie talks about how ''supernatural'' the bulb blowing was. Howard and the guys were just laughing as they heard all of that.
Howard had more clips but the quality of the tape was really bad. Robin wanted to hear more of it but Howard said people in their cars wouldn't be able to hear it. Vinnie called in and asked Howard to please stop playing the tapes because no one cares. Howard told him that they do care and he wondered why he ever gave them the tapes to begin with. Vinnie didn't think they were all that bad. Howard said that Vinnie actually cut out what he thought was embarrassing to him. He'd do anything to get those tapes from him but Vinnie isn't going to give up any more of them. Vinnie said that there is no price for those tapes. He won't give them up.
Howard played the clip of Vinnie talking about scratching his balls and how Debbie will ''benefit oh so much'' when she sees him again. Howard then played the really bad quality tapes where Vinnie sings to Debbie about how much he misses her. Artie was doing his impression of Vinnie and repeating the creepy stuff that Vinnie talks about in the tapes. Howard got in on that as well and goofed on Vinnie a little bit. He continued to play more clips of Vinnie giving a tour of his apartment and he talks about going down on Debbie while he's giving the tour. He talks about all of the stuff in his apartment and tells Debbie what each item is in detail. Howard let a couple of callers through to goof on Vinnie. People don't want Howard to ever stop playing those clips.
Howard said he was able to contact Ronald Reagan from the dead. He had some tape of that. Reagan told Howard that he was hanging with his niggas up in Heaven and just chilling out. Howard played another clip of Reagan talking about Artie a little bit. During that bit Vinnie Favale called back in and asked Howard how much it would take for him to stop playing the audio clips of him. Vinnie said that the clips are taken out of context and people can't see him so it's just wrong. He thinks that he's a good looking guy but Howard told him he's not as good looking as he thinks he is.
One phone caller brought up the ''Restless'' song of Vinnie's that Howard has played. That led to Howard talking about how they're going to have a contest coming up soon where people can try to create a good version of the song. The best one will win some money. Howard said they'll post the lyrics on HowardStern.com in the near future. Howard and The Losers will be performing a version of it as well. Howard said they gave tape of it to Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray to try and do something with it but he had no idea what to make of it. Gary said they gave it to the band Staind as well and they had no idea what to do with it either. Howard played a clip of the version that Vinnie and Tom Gesimondo did to give people a sample of the mess that the song was. Howard and the guys goofed on him about that for a short time. Vinnie said that he could find a version of some Beatles stuff where they wouldn't be able to make sense of it either. Howard and the guys wanted to hear that so Vinnie started digging around.
Howard killed some time taking calls and doing some other stuff while Vinnie tried to find some old Beatles stuff. One caller brought up George Bush at one point so Howard said they have a ton more stuff up on HowardStern.com about Bush. He said that Jason is doing some Behind the Scenes stuff on the site and Nick the Tooth is doing some reports as well. There's a link to Michael Moore's ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' movie trailer on the site too. He said that the movie looks like it's going to be really funny and cool. He also has a Ron Reagan Jr. interview linked on the site. He blasts George W. Bush in the article. There are also some Web Site Picks of the Week that are up there. Howard went through a bunch of other things that are up on the site. Howard said they have the bulletin board coming soon and they're working on an archive as well so people can look up older stuff. They're going to have some space on there for Ralph to create his own little magazine on the site as well. Howard went to break shortly after talking about all of that stuff.
Howard had tape of Cane and Cabbie talking to the crowd at one concert. Cabbie was screaming at the crowd to give the finger. Howard and the guys think that's pretty funny when that goes on. Howard said there are other funny things that go on at these concerts. Howard wondered why Fred isn't playing at the concert this year. Fred said he wasn't asked to play. He did play at a few of the concerts but he wasn't invited this year.
Howard moved on to Yucko the Clown (DamnShow.com) who is trying out for Stuttering John's job all week. He tried to do a game show yesterday but it kind of bombed. Today he has some phony phone calls to play. Howard said people loved the song parody he played on Monday but yesterday the people were brutal and hated the game. Yucko doesn't know what happened there because he got really nervous and was sweating like crazy. Howard read through some of the mail they got about Yucko. People hated what he did yesterday and they think that the show will Jump the Shark if he gets the job.
Howard played the nursery rhyme song parody (Hear it at DamnShow.com) that Yucko put together that a lot of people liked. He goofed on Howard, Robin, Artie and KC in the song. Howard said Yucko came back in today ready for a new day. He made 3 phony phone calls to Gary the Retard.
Yucko called Gary the Retard as a guy from the military telling him that he was drafted and he had to report for duty. He and Gary went back and forth arguing with each other. Yucko was calling him names and goofing on him. He called him back as a woman by the name of Dr. Quinn. He told Gary that they wanted to do an operation on him where they'd give him a normal brain. Gary didn't want a normal brain though. Dr. Quinn asked Gary if he has ever had sex with a kitten or anything like that. Gary asked Dr. Quinn what she does for a living. She told him that she's a brain surgeon and she wants to give him a non-retard brain. She called him a ''dirty, filthy mongoloid'' and came out of character a few seconds later. Gary was calling Yucko a faggot and stuff after that.
In the third call Yucko calls Gary as a deejay from a radio station. He told him that he'd won a trip to the moon. Gary didn't want to go to the moon though. Yucko then had him trying to spell and when he couldn't spell one word he went off on him and called him some names. He then asked Gary if he wanted to suck his dick. Gary didn't want to do that and told Yucko to get off of his phone. Yucko told him to get off of his planet.
Howard wondered if Yucko had redeemed himself today after those calls. Yucko seems to think he did. The big vote is coming up in just a few weeks so they'll know who wins then. One phone caller told Yucko that it wasn't funny and they should hire Gary the Retard over him. Another caller said he can't stand the clown. Yucko thinks that yesterday really screwed him up.
Another caller said he thinks Yucko is too over the top and he forces it too much. Howard thought that Yucko's phony phone calls to Gary the Retard were funny. He liked them and thought he made a strong comeback today. Yucko still has more stuff to come this week and it's not over yet. Howard said this isn't an easy task to fill Stuttering John's shoes.
In one report they said that Clear Channel is admitting that what they aired was indecent. Howard went nuts when he heard all of this stuff. He pointed out that Clear Channel has other deejays on the air who have used the F-word and other language that hasn't gotten them fired. Howard didn't even do that and Clear Channel is throwing him under the bus. Howard went off on Michael Powell for a short time and wondered who the hell this guy is. He and Robin were wondering what Clear Channel is getting out of this deal if they're coughing up this money for no reason. Howard thinks that he should be getting paid before the FCC gets paid. He said he should sue the FCC over that. Howard claims that he has legal letters from Clear Channel defending the stuff that they're now paying the FCC for. He said all of this makes him sick.
A listener called in and told Howard how funny Yucko was with those prank calls. Howard talked about that for a minute and then talked about Mel Karmazin leaving the company and how Tom Freston and Les Moonves have taken over the radio division because of that. Howard said Les has called him about 27 times to talk to him on the phone but he hasn't returned his calls. He's had business encounters with Les in the past and he feels he got screwed over a few times. He has these bad feelings toward him and he doesn't want to talk to him. Now Tom Chiusano has come to him and asked him why he won't take his calls. Howard said he's honest about why he won't take his calls. Don Imus will take his calls but that's because Imus is a suck-ass according to Howard.
Howard said that Tom came to him right after the show the other day and asked him about Les. He told Tom that he doesn't want to be bothered with stuff like that after the show. He went on to talk about how he believes that Les has lied to him and he hasn't been treated properly by the guy. He hopes that the radio division will do well and maybe Les is good at his job but he's not going to take his calls. He spoke to Tom and told him he wants to be treated like all of the other deejays in the company and Les isn't calling them. He's not into small talk and he's not into taking back patting and other stuff from Les.
Howard said that Les can show him how he really feels when the new FCC fines come down on them in the next few months. They already have 4 notices of apparent liability on Tom's desk as they speak. Les doesn't have to communicate in any way but by his actions when they defend him against the FCC. If they do that, he'll call Les and congratulate him. Howard wishes Les success and his whole family and career a success. He is uncomfortable with the phone call thing and that's why he's not taking the calls. That's what he told Tom and he doesn't mean any disrespect to Les.
Howard took a call from Ralph who wonders if Clear Channel is paying these fines just to make him look bad. Howard believes that is the case and that will be part of his lawsuit against them. Ralph also brought up how he read that President Bush has been on vacation 42 percent of the time he's been in office. He can't believe that and he's into vacationing. Ralph mentioned Gary the Retard as well and he thinks that Howard has jump started him because now he can talk and even count to 20 like he did in the prank calls that Yucko made to him. Howard and the guys got back to Clear Channel again and talked about how disturbing the company is in their business practices. They spent a minute on that and then moved on to other stuff.
Howard said that Halle Berry must be the most unlucky person in the world. She is getting calls from a guy who has been mailing her and telling her that they should get married. She has an order of protection against the guy but Howard doesn't understand why they don't arrest people like that.
Howard talked about some of the other stuff Halle Berry has gone through in her life that's just bad luck. She was with this guy who ended up divorcing her and tried to get the pre-nuptial agreement broken so he could get some of her money. Howard talked about that guy, Eric Benet, and got some of his music to play so they could hear how bad it was. Howard thought he sounded like Wayne Brady singing the way he sings. He goofed on the music a little bit and then moved on to other stuff.
Howard read an article about how the republican convention is in the city and they are trying to avoid the gay plays in the city while they're there. Howard seems to think that they're a bunch of lying, hypocritical dirt bags who will probably spend more money on hookers than any other convention that comes to the city.
Howard read some e-mail that they've gotten lately. They got a lot of mail about OJ, Eric the Midget and Yucko the Clown. One woman asked Howard not to put anyone on the air who asks for a prize, it's getting annoying. Howard said he's going to put a stop to that from now on. He said there was some controversy about the comic book super heroes he brings up on the show. He said there were people complaining about what he was saying about Superman and Bat Man on the show yesterday. He doesn't like when they put them together on the Justice League. He likes both characters on their own, just not together.
Howard said a lot of people are liking Mayor Bloomberg's new noise laws. He read some of the mail he got about that and some people were complaining about how old Howard sounds when he talks about how great that law is. The writer told Howard just to move down to Florida if he doesn't like noise.
Howard didn't want to read the whole article that Ron Reagan Jr. wrote about George W Bush. He said you can read it though a link on his web site. He did go through some of the article and talked about how Jr. Thinks that Bush is trying to be like his father but he's anything but his father. He and Robin talked about that stuff for a short time. Howard also talked about some of the people who were filing past Ronald Reagan's casket. There were some people saying they went there because it was part of history. Bo Derek was also there for some reason so Howard wondered what that was all about.
Howard said that Jason sent him a note about Artie doing something behind the scenes. When Artie was getting ready for the baseball challenge before they went to Las Vegas he would practice swinging in the halls of the station. He said that it became a bit of a security blanket for him. Howard thinks that Artie might have OCD or something because he has to hold that thing all the time. There was something that happened when Artie was swinging the bat around in the studio. Howard said he had to ask Artie to take it easy and not swing it around him and to take it outside. Jason said when Howard did that Artie looked like he'd just had his toy taken away from him. Jason is writing up all of this stuff on HowardStern.com. He claims that Artie almost hit Vinnie Favale in the head with the bat as well.
Ralph called in and told Howard that he saw Morgan Fairchild at Ronald Reagan's funeral. Howard and Ralph said that they'd still do her. That led to Howard playing the tapes of Reagan contacting them from beyond that he played earlier. Ralph was also goofing on Artie about his baseball bat swinging. He said he's such a mess and he's standing around swinging a bat like he's a baseball player. Artie said that they can get rid of all of the bats and he'll stop doing that. He also challenged Ralph to play a sport against him and he'd beat him by a score of 40 or more. Howard had to take a break before they made any plans.
A listener called in and told Howard how great the E! show was the night before with Maria Menounos being tickled in the tickle chair. The guy liked the way Howard was behind her ticking her from above. Howard said he did the same thing with Tera Patrick and that will be on E! sometime soon as well.
Howard played some tape of Yaqi the tickler doing his thing while they were talking about the tickle chair stuff. The phone caller Howard had on the line asked him if he's going to the DFP concert this year. Howard has to go to a wedding that day so he won't be able to make it. Howard ended up giving the guy some tickets to the DFP even though they have a new rule about not asking for prizes on the phone. Howard said they're done with the tickets now so he doesn't have anymore to give away.
Howard said if he and Beth ever break up, he's going right to Maria Menounos and Tera Patrick. Tera did tell him yesterday that she and her husband are monogamous so she won't be able to do anything with him.
Howard was going to play some more OJ Simpson tapes but decided to have Robin start her news instead so they could get out of there on time. He had a few tapes of his own to play first though. He had some news coverage of the Ronald Reagan viewing where thousands and thousands of people showed up to walk past his casket. There were people who waited 6 hours to get there just to walk past his casket. Howard goofed on those people for a couple of minutes.
Marc Anthony went on the Today Show but refused to talk about the rumors that he was married to Jennifer Lopez over the weekend. He was very vague about his weekend and refused to talk about whether or not he got married to her.
Howard received a call from a listener in Philadelphia who said that Howard's discussion about Ronald Reagan was cut out earlier. While he was waiting for Gary to get some news about that he played a clip of Steven King kind of defending him during an interview. King said he doesn't listen to Howard because he's ''silly'' but he believes Howard has the right to broadcast and do a silly show if he wants. He also thinks that if someone doesn't like what Howard is saying on the radio, they can reach out and change the station.
Gary told Howard that there was no delay hit in Philly during that bit they were talking about. Artie doesn't know how these listeners can just make stuff up about shows being cut like that. Once again Howard tried to have Robin start her news but he had another clip of OJ Simpson talking about his kids that he played first. Howard killed some time talking about some other stuff before Robin actually did get to her news.
Howard started off the show talking about a weird dream he had the night before. He was doing a live show in the dream and the whole crew was there... everyone except Benjy. Gilbert Gottfried and Adam Carolla were at the show and he introduced Adam and he went on to do 3 hours of stand-up comedy but everyone left after his gig and no one else got on stage. Howard wondered what that dream meant so he asked Robin what she thought. She asked him what he thought about it at the time. Howard said it was kind of nice that someone else took control of the show but he was also mad that he didn't take control of the show himself. Robin wondered what was out of control in his life and figures that there's something that he's thinking of that someone else has control of and is ''steering the ship'' for. Howard said that at least it wasn't like Adam was banging his girlfriend in the dream.
Howard had been watching ''Last Comic Standing'' before that so that might have had something to do with it. He was catching up on the previous night's show, not last night's show. He said he's heard that some of the comedians on the show have had TV specials or even TV shows. Sue Costello had a sitcom on FOX for 2 weeks but it got canceled. Howard was kind of glad they were doing that because some of them are really good.
Howard mentioned that Hoobastank will be on the show next week. They have a woman coming in later in the morning to cook while she's naked. He doesn't even know why they're doing that though because she's kind of chubby. She calls herself Bunny Burns. Howard said today is the 10th anniversary of their wires being cut in Cleveland during a live broadcast from the city. He said they have the guy who cut the wire calling in to apologize later in the morning. He spent some time talking about what happened back then and how strange everything was back then when a competing station was trying to turn everything around on them.
Kid Rock is coming in later in the morning. Howard said that Beth O is also coming in soon to promote her FHM layout. The guys talked about one contest a competing radio station in New York did when they thought Howard wasn't allowed to mention Mel Karmazin's name. Artie remembered it and said that Howard blew the contest when he just told a listener to call in and he'd say the name so they could win the $5,000.
Debbie told Howard some stories about the mayor of Detroit and some strange stuff he's done while in office. Artie said that he was in Detroit when the city went nuts and lit stuff on fire out there. He said it was the scariest thing he'd ever been through. Debbie told them about how the houses that end up going up in flames are usually crack houses that the mayor refuses to tear down.
Howard was going to get off the line with Debbie but he ended up talking about some comments that Larry Bird made about how they need more white players in the NBA because it's mostly white people watching the game and it would make things more interesting. Howard and Debbie talked about that a bit. Magic Johnson apparently said the same thing as Larry Bird but no one is getting upset about that. Bird is taking all of the heat on that instead.
Howard had tape of Jimmy Kimmel making a comment about Detroit burning down the city when he was on a some show doing an interview. Someone on the show got upset about the comments and that's what led to the controversy this week. Howard said he hopes this doesn't lead to Jimmy losing his show over this nonsense.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up the wrestler that Howard was talking about earlier. He said that he was fired from CNBC for the stuff he was doing as his character but he's still part of the WWE. Howard doesn't think that the guy should be fired for doing that because he was just playing a character.
A listener called in and told Howard that they didn't play any of Alanis Morissette's music during her interview last night. Howard said that really sucks because other TV shows are allowed to show music performances but the E! people can't make that happen. Gary came in and told Howard that the reason they can't do it has everything to do with money. They have to pay for using songs on the air and they don't have the staff to go back and ask for replaying the songs in the future so they have to pay the money up front. That ends up being a lot of money and they can't come up with it. Howard said that they do the whole show on a shoestring budget so that's why they can't play the musical performances. Howard apologized to the caller for not being able to play the songs on the air.
Howard said he was going to have Johnny Knoxville on his show before the whole Jackass show came about but Tom wouldn't let Johnny come in and stun-gun his balls on the air. Howard thought it was cool but they had to turn him down. A year later Johnny was on MTV shocking his balls and doing all kinds of other things on the air. He said Tom denied ever having the conversation with him after that. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard played a clip from ''The View'' where they were interviewing Marc Anthony about the interview he did with Matt Lauer and refused to talk about whether or not he married Jennifer Lopez. Marc talks about how private he is with his personal life and how he never wanted to be a celebrity... yeah right. Howard said that he went back and did some research and found that Anthony sold his wedding pictures to In Style magazine when he got married to a Miss Universe. Howard said he also invited a magazine in to photograph his house. This is the same guy who is saying he keeps his personal life private. Howard read the article he had about his marriage and how he let these people into his personal life. Howard said the guy is just wacky.
Howard said that John the Stutterer wrote a letter to Benjy about how he's dropping out of the ''Get John's Job'' thing because he knows that he can't handle the pressure of the job. He said he knows that he wants to die but that's not the way he wants to go out. In the letter John talks about how he wants to jump in front of a bus or something. He says he'd rather see someone else take the job over him. Howard said that the weird thing is that John signs his name on the back of the letter he sent. Artie said that he needs to cheer up because he did an amazing week. Howard said that John might be dropping out because if he's on disability and he gets a job, he'd show that he'd actually be able to work.
A listener called in and asked Howard why he doesn't have Ron Reagan Jr. on the show to talk about Bush. Howard said the guy hasn't contacted them to come on the show so they haven't had him in. If the guy wants to do the show he'll contact them.
A listener called in and talked about how he bought FHM magazine and there's a preview of Beth's layout. He pleaseured himself to her pictures but didn't want to soil her pictures so he turned to the Anna Nicole pictures and finished off on her. Howard had the cover of the issue that Beth is appearing in so he showed it to Artie. Artie said that she has the bikini string unstrapped and it looked really hot. Fred and Robin also checked it out and thought it looked really good. Howard said he wasn't able to have sex with her last night because he was too tired. Howard said Beth is going to do a signing for the issue of the magazine. He and the guys figure that Double A will show up at least. Howard had to take another break after that.
Howard wondered if Bill knew that it was a federal offense when he cut those wires. He didn't realize that, he thought it would just be a funny radio prank and everyone would laugh about it. He told Howard about how he didn't even know that he was going to cut the wires that morning. He wasn't sure what he was going to do until he got there. The people at the station knew that he was going to go down there but didn't know he was going to cut wires. Bill also said that there was a bounty for all kinds of stuff that the station wanted people to steal from Howard's station. They never got in trouble for what they were doing at the time either. Bill thinks that if he'd known about that stuff back then, things would have been different. He wouldn't have gotten in as much trouble if the government knew that the station had a bounty on Howard's banners and stuff like that.
Howard said that the station was encouraging people to do all kinds of things to him and those people may not be very stable. Bill told Howard that there were people who did things for them for free like cutting headstones with Howard's name on them as a joke. Howard never saw those headstones though. Bill said he heard that Howard saw them and stormed off the stage at the time. Gary said that was not true at all.
Dave Jockers from Howard's Cleveland station is the one who caught Bill doing what he was doing. He was on the phone to add to the story. He told Howard some stuff to remind him about what happened that day. They were only off the air for a short time when they got into a truck that allowed them to do the broadcast. Both Dave and Bill thought that it was a great broadcast. Dave told Howard that he caught Bill in a secured area and wondered how he got in there. Bill said that Tiffany's opened up a back bar area to make some money and that was a bad idea because the wires ran right through there. Howard thought the whole thing was amazing because he had no idea that any of this stuff was going on.
The prosecutor in the case against Bill called in as well. He told Howard that even back then the FCC was treating him poorly. He said that he sent many letters to the FCC about taking WMMS' license back then but they rejected that idea. Howard said that's what the FCC's job is and they really should have taken their license away. It's all very selective and personal according to Howard and Robin.
Bill is working for a TV station in Cleveland now. He said he's been there for about 10 years now so it didn't take him long to get the job. He claims that there were a lot of companies that wanted to hire him because of his loyalty to the company he was working for at the time. Bill thought that he heard that Howard wanted to hire him as well but Howard doesn't think that's the case. Howard told him he needs people who have good judgement on his staff. He can't hire someone who is going to go out and cut the wires of a competing station. Bill was defending himself and saying that he has good judgement and he was just trying to protect his job because he had a family to take care of.
Howard took a call from a guy who reminded Howard that the judge in the case made him sound like the bad guy in the whole case. He went on TV and said that Howard is offensive but Bill did break the law so he had to charge him. They talked about some of the other things that were going on at the time. Howard can't believe that this stuff went on back then and it's been 10 years now.
Captain Janks takes credit for figuring out what was going on with Bill. Bill told Howard that Janks prank called him and never really got anything out of him. Janks had tape of that prank call from back then so Howard was going to play it. Janks said he and a bunch of other Wack Packers were out there the day before so the got into the WMMS station and stole their bathroom key. Janks said they took those keys and threw them to the crowd at the funeral the next day.
Howard played Janks' prank call to Bill where he offered him a job out in L.A. with another company because he was considered a ''team player.'' Janks is good too, he had Bill fooled pretty good. Bill told Howard that his attorney called the number Janks gave him a little later and it went nowhere. He congratulated Janks for that call because it was so good. Bill said that he does apologize for everything even though the broadcast that day was great. Howard let a caller through to yell at the guy because he waited too long to call in and apologize.
Howard said that the show would have been a great show even if Bill hadn't cut the wire so he didn't want Bill taking credit for it. Bill said that's not what he was trying to do. Howard went on to talk about how the judge in the case was against him at the time. The FCC was also against him and if it was any other broadcaster, the whole thing would have gone a different way. Bill told Howard that he will do whatever he can to help Howard in the fight against the FCC. Bill said he's going to file for an expungment on the whole thing and he's hoping that Judge McGinty can see it in his heart to drop the stuff from his record. Howard said he's sure the judge will do that.
Howard said that he's not sure he can take his apology for what he did because it's like accepting that people can do things wrong and they just get over it. Bill told Howard he paid for that crime and went to jail for it. Howard said that it goes a long way with him when someone personally apologizes to him so he thanked Bill for calling in and let him go. He said the right time for the apology would have been right after the broadcast but that's how it goes.
Howard said that yesterday's news about Clear Channel paying a $1.75 million settlement to the FCC was making him nuts. He can't even figure out what is going on with that and how much they actually paid to settle their charges. He said there's an article linked on his web site about the government spending money on a bunch of nonsense. He wanted to play some of the news clips he had about the Clear Channel stuff but the CD wasn't playing for some reason. Howard said that the place they go to next will have good equipment that's completely digitized. They don't even know what carts are there... wherever that may be. Howard tried to play the CD but it was skipping and not working correctly. Howard decided to take a break instead of trying to play it.
Robin liked the phony phone call they played at the start of the show so she asked Fred to replay it. Fred had to do some digging around but came up with it and played it for her. It was a Kidd Chris call to Gary the Retard where he played clips of people talking to him and Gary was going crazy on them. He had clips of Arnold Schwarzenegger as Sgt. John Kimball yelling at Gary and shooting a woman. He also had George Takei talking to him a little bit as well.
Howard said that he got a letter from a woman who had a California license plate that reads ''I Love Stern.'' She said she had to get rid of them when another motorist started throwing stuff at her and almost ran her off the road. She sent Howard the plates because she was afraid to leave them on her car. Robin said that people like that have got to be out of control to throw stuff at other people's cars like that.
Howard got back to Bunny and said her face is cuter than he thought but she is about 40 pounds overweight according to him. Bunny told Howard that she is a chef and she really enjoys cooking in the nude. Howard asked her how that works. She said that she uses a site called CraigsList.org to post messages. There are people out there who want nude cooking lessons. Howard read that she will let guys touch her while she cooks as well but there's ''no poking'' during that. She said that she will let guys touch her boobs if they ask first. She said that all of her clients have been very respectful so far. One guy, who was very shy, asked if he could touch her. She told him it was okay and he reached out and touched her arm. She thought that was cute but the guys thought that was kind of creepy.
Bunny said that she chooses to get naked and cook. She was telling Howard how they end up eating the food they cook and when Robin heard that, she said ''yuck.'' Robin and Howard said they would never cook food while they're naked. Bunny said that they really should try it. Howard wanted her to demonstrate for them but she wasn't prepared to do it. Howard said that he thought she was coming in to do that but she was apparently told that she wasn't going to be cooking.
Howard had Bunny show him her ass but he told her she needs to lose 50-60 pounds. She told Howard that she's not going to lose weight and she's going to ''bring back the belly'' for everyone. Howard told her that walking around fat and encouraging that isn't a good thing. Howard wondered if things really ''get hot'' when she's cooking naked with that extra 50-60 pounds on her. She said that it's a sensual thing and she can get couples hot cooking for them but she's never had sex with any of them.
Howard gave Bunny a couple of plugs for some of the web sites she's got including BunnyBunns.net and OrangeSky.org. Artie asked her to walk a cupcake over to him while she was there. She didn't even make them though. She didn't cook for them at all. Bunny told Howard that she makes $150 an hour doing this stuff. Howard said he didn't learn a thing while she was there.
Howard took some phone calls after Bunny's appearance. One guy brought up Marc Anthony and how his whole first wedding was on a cable channel. Howard said that's what he was talking about earlier when he was playing tape of Anthony talking about how his life is personal. It's only personal now that he's married to Jennifer Lopez. Howard replayed the tape of Star Jones talking to him about his ''private life.'' Howard goofed on Marc for a couple of minutes and then went to commercial break so they could bring in Kid Rock.
Howard wondered if Kid always has songs in his head. Kid told him that he has to sit down and think about it once in a while so he doesn't have it in his head all the time. Kid said that the songs that pop into his head and come out quick are usually the ones that are the best. Robin wondered if they come to him while he's having sex or something. He said that doesn't happen and he doesn't get them in the shower either.
Kid told Howard he was tired today because he was up to no good last night. Kid said he was at Del Frisco last night in the wine cellar. He said it's a whole private deal so he doesn't have to deal with people. He said the record company hooks him up with that stuff. Kid said he had some steak and lobster tail at the restaurant. He also had a bunch of red wine. He didn't bring a girl with him but there were four there when he got there. Howard wondered who they were and what they did for a living. Kid said he didn't want to talk about that. He hung out with the girls and then went back to the head of Atlantic records house and hung out. He said no one got hurt and it was all in fun.
Kid didn't know where the girls came from but he said they could have been models. Howard said he's come a long way since the old days. Kid asked Howard for a copy of the old ''Crucified by the FCC'' box set. Howard told Gary to write him a note about that so he can get him a copy.
Kid and Howard talked about the Super Bowl controversy because Kid was part of that whole thing. Kid didn't get what the big deal was because he didn't even see the boob. Howard also brought up how Tommy Lee has been mouthing off about Kid lately. He had an article where Tommy says some stuff about him. He read some stuff that Tommy said about getting back together with Pam Anderson for a short time again. Kid dated Pam for a while and Tommy said that Kid is a country star now and ''F*** him'' after that. Kid said that's no put down and he doesn't care. Kid said he's not upset about that and having a hit record on the country list is fine with him. Kid said that Tommy should just go back to drumming and stop trying to rap.
Zolar called in and told Kid how great he was at Woodstock when he saw him. Gary came in and told Howard that Anna Nicole Smith was on Sharon Osbourne's show saying that Kid Rock tried to pick her up. Kid said that she's a pig and his son ended up yelling at her. Kid said he was at this show and he told her that maybe she should turn the cameras off and just enjoy herself. There were some things that went on and Kid's son ended up with $400 from Anna Nicole somehow. He said his son ended up yelling at her saying that everything was fine until she showed up.
Howard told Kid about his experience with her a few weeks ago when she was supposed to come on the show but ended up bailing out after they refused to let her camera crew in the station. Kid said that the perfect name for her is ''pig'' and he doesn't bad mouth a lot of people. He said that she disrupts a lot of stuff when she goes out with her whole camera crew. He said it's like that kid Pig Pen in Charlie Brown where the dirt just follows him around.
Howard took some phone calls for Kid and let some people talk to him. A few people had some nice things to say about him. One guy called in and said that Kid actually called him once after he gave him a copy of his CD. The guy said he gave him his CD and Kid called him asking for more of his music. Kid said he remembered the music and the guy had a good voice.
Double A called in and asked Kid who's next on his list of chicks to bang. Howard said he had a list of chicks for him to bang. He said that Jessica Alba might be a good choice. He was also going to suggest Reese Witherspoon but she's taken. Double A told him to stay away from Beth O because he's going to have her after Howard. Double A asked Kid Rock to write an anti-Bush song to help get him out of office. Kid told Howard that he's still on the fence about Bush. He said the whole censorship thing is scaring him because he's got to be next on the list somewhere.
Howard asked Kid if he wanted to play something this morning. Kid said he didn't want to but he'd play something if Howard wanted. That Bunny Bunns chick told the guys that she'd do anything to meet Kid Rock so they sent Gary into the green room to ask her if she'd let them throw stuff at her ass. She agreed to let them throw cupcakes at her if Howard wanted to do that. Her only stipulation was that she wanted to wear her shoes and socks. Howard said that was fine and had Gary get her naked before coming into the studio.
All of the guys grabbed cupcakes and prepared to throw them at her fat ass. Howard said she was really naked. Bunny told Howard that she feels good about herself and doesn't mind being naked. She wasn't shaved down either so Howard commented on that. Howard had her turn around and told her that she had more cellulite than he does. He walked over and threw one at her. He hit her on the first try. Kid Rock threw his but missed. Artie went up and also missed. Gary managed to hit her right in the middle according to Robin. Howard hurt his arm throwing so he let Kid throw another one. Artie got a good hit on his second try. Kid managed to hit her on the third throw. Howard said that the icing didn't really come off of the cupcakes when they threw them. Howard thought that it was kind of demeaning to be doing this... but he asked for another cupcake and nailed her in the ass again.
After the cupcake throw Howard had Kid play a little something. Kid played the guitar and had a little trouble with the song because he'd been on a bender the night before. Kid played some country stuff and asked if the guys wanted to hear more halfway through the song. Howard had him keep going and Artie thought it was pretty cool. It was actually a Charlie Daniels song that he performed. Howard gave Kid a plug for his album ''Kid Rock'' and for his web site KidRock.com.
Chaunce Hayden called in and told Kid that he saw Tommy Lee deejaying at a bar for about 25 people recently. He said he asked him about Kid Rock and Tommy apparently told him that Kid only wishes that he had half the career he does. Howard took a couple more calls and let Bunny say a few words to Kid before wrapping up. Bunny told Kid that she was very proud of him for where he's gotten in his career. Howard also gave her a $500 prize for coming in. Kid started to play with the guitar a little more so Howard sang some ''Fat Chick Blues'' while he played. He wrapped up the interview shortly after that.
Yucko went out and interviewed Dennis Rodman about the bad skin on his face. He insulted him and then moved on to some regular people. He insulted them and goofed on most of the people. He was goofing on their teeth, the size of one guy's head, people's bad skin and stuff like that. He was also insulting Hugh Jackman quite a bit while interviewing people about him. Yucko interviewed one black guy who he pointed out was very black. He asked him if he'd ever been to the zoo and why he didn't go back as he was calling him a ''big black gorilla.''
Yucko says he has some other interviews that are stuck in the censorship process. Tom Chiusano came in to defend himself against all of the bleeping. He said it was Yucko using the F-word that they were bleeping but Howard said they did more than that and ruined the jokes. They don't let out any of the word so you don't hear the F or the K or any letters in other words he might have used. Tom said ''F all three of you'' as he was leaving the studio. Howard is hoping that he can get out of there as soon as he can because of that nonsense. Yucko yelled at Tom to get out of the studio but Tom stood his ground and said that Yucko can't tell him what to do. He left a short time later.
Sal the Stockbroker called in and said that Tom shouldn't have bleeped the words in his bit, he should have bleeped the clown. Fred told Howard that there were still a lot of negative e-mails about Yucko even after he had a good day yesterday. Yucko says that tomorrow will be great. He also bragged about some of the stuff he's done in the past and how funny that stuff was. Howard seems to think that Sal is still the front runner in the ''Get John's Job'' thing so far. He's judging that by the e-mail they've gotten about everyone so far. He had to take a break after talking about that.
Howard told the guy what he'll eat in a typical day. He said he will have a couple of egg whites for breakfast and a few strawberries. Lunch is about 4 oz. of chicken with a tomato. Sometimes a baked potato with nothing on it and maybe a cucumber. He will have a couple of hard boiled eggs or a can of tuna as well if he's really hungry. He said he'll have a soup or some fish and vegetables for dinner. On Friday and Saturday nights he'll have a couple glasses of red wine. Artie told the caller that if he doesn't have an addictive personality, he should try cocaine for a couple of months and the weight will come right off. Howard thought he was just joking around but Artie was serious.
Howard said that he has been asked to write a diet book in the past but he's not going to do that. He said that people just have to find a diet that fits them. He can't tell people how to lose the weight. Howard told the caller that he is 6'5'' tall and weighs only 188 pounds. The caller said he weighs about twice that and he's the same height. Robin started her news shortly after that.
Howard started off the show talking about how great it is that it's Friday. He can't wait to have those two days off. He talked about how busy he was yesterday with his production company and personal stuff. He never gets time to read magazines and stuff so that's what he wants to do over the weekend. He watched more of ''Last Comic Standing'' last night and enjoyed it. He likes to hear some of the stuff the comedian's are thinking. Robin doesn't get it and can't understand why he likes that show so much. She wasn't laughing. Howard said he thinks that's because she's a great comic mind and that's why she doesn't like the comedy she's seeing. Fred played Robin's news theme under her as she was talking about it.
Howard also liked ''5 Days to Midnight'' which is airing on the Sci-Fi channel. Robin said they're re airing the first couple of episodes so she's going to get in on that as well. Gary came in and said that they just sent over all of the episodes for Howard to watch. Howard told him to give Robin the first one so she can start watching.
Artie said that he missed one episode of ''The Sopranos'' this season and it really bothers him for some reason. They talked about that for a minute and then Howard brought up an article about himself in the NY Daily News. The story was about how he's rallying his fans to vote for John Kerry and it seems to be helping Kerry out. Howard read through that and said that he's glad that someone is finally writing the truth about him. The writer seems to think that Howard's fans can swing the vote for Kerry and bring him the win. Howard said it's about time they see the power of the show.
Howard brought up how everyone is going crazy over President Reagan and newspapers like the NY Post won't say anything negative about him. Howard said there was nothing about his defense of South Africa during his time in office. He changed subjects when he brought up how the girlie magazines these days are airbrushing the girls so much, they don't look real anymore. He compared that to what the newspapers are doing for President Reagan. They're painting him as the greatest President ever but that just isn't the case according to Howard. He said there was a lot of questionable stuff that Reagan did while he was in office but everyone is forgetting about that.
Howard was talking about these radio guys like Rush Limbaugh when Scott DePace came in and defended some of the stuff President Bush is doing and how the indecency bill will be signed by John Kerry even if Bush gets voted out. Howard said he's heard that they're holding off on that bill until after the election so they don't get themselves voted out of office. Howard went off on DePace who was just upsetting him with his defense of Bush. He told him to get out of his studio. Howard said he loves Scott but sometimes he makes him crazy.
Gary told Howard that they barely had Jay on the show that one time. He said that he went over and talked to him while Howard was on the air after Jay had waited for 3 hours to get on the show or something like that. Howard said he'd rather read a few nice things that Jay has said about him before he can come back on the show.
The phone caller told Howard that he'd better move the show along because this weekend is the Puerto Rican day parade is this weekend and he has to get out. Howard talked about how much it sucks when they have that thing because it clogs up the city so much and it'll be on Sunday when he has to make his way home from Long Island. He said it goes on from early morning until the evening and people just linger around. He said that people think that he's racist or anti-Puerto Rican but he's not. He says he loves them but the parades are unnecessary and he just wants to be able to get around the city. He said all parades should be outlawed because it makes it very hard to get around the city.
A woman called in and told Howard that she painted a picture of Howard on a cross and the school she goes to refuses to hang it in the hall because it's too controversial. Howard said there's always a double standard for him when it comes to stuff like that. He talked about how the judge in the Cleveland wire cutting thing didn't sentence the guy who cut the wires to much time because he didn't like Howard. He brought up how Oprah Winfrey can get away with stuff that he can't get away with just because of who she is.
Robin thought that it was kind of funny that an art school wouldn't hang up a picture that's controversial. The woman on the phone said that they will show women during their menstrual cycle but not a picture of Howard on a cross. Gary came in a minute later and said they have some interns there who say they go to the same school and they do have a painting of Bill O'Reilly there. The woman said she never said which school it was and she didn't want to get in trouble over it. She said that she wanted to bring in the painting for Howard to hang since the school wouldn't do it. She was telling Howard that she's not a Playboy model though. She said she's 5'9'' tall and weighs about 150 pounds. He said she sounds like a football player after hearing her describe herself. She said that she has big boobs and her face is cute. She just has a few pounds to lose.
The woman said that she wears a tankini to the beach when she goes so Howard had to explain what one of those suits looks like. Howard said women wear those to cover up their bellies. Howard wanted to find out how she looks from a guy but the only one around was her father and she refused to wake him up. She was going to be leaving on the train to get to the city around 9 but Howard said that might be too late. He told her to come down anyway but he wanted her to walk there from Philadelphia. He thought she'd lose some weight if she did that. He had to take a break after that.
Howard mentioned that Yucko the Clown (DamnShow.com) went out and interviewed some people about Ronald Reagan and he was brutal when he talked about him and Nancy Reagan. Robin was wondering if they were going to talk to John the Stutterer since he told them that he's withdrawing from the ''Get John's Job'' competition. Howard heard that they left messages for him yesterday but he didn't call back.
Howard had the guys bring Yucko the Clown in so he could get to his interviews. He talked about how Yucko gets in his clown makeup early in the morning before he comes to work at the station. All of the people at the hotel see him walking around like that. Howard wondered why Yucko hasn't tried out for the ''Last Comic Standing'' show. Yucko said he did that last year and did a roast of Jay Mohr. He did get a little air time on the show but didn't get picked to ''move on.''
Howard asked Yucko about his hatred for Ronald Reagan. Yucko told Howard that he's a democrat and he hates the republicans. Howard warned people that Yucko was going to say some nasty stuff about Ronald and Nancy Reagan so they may want to tune out. Yucko went out and interviewed people about Reagan dying and goofed on him and his wife. Yucko was asking a bunch of people about Reagan's death and made fun of quite a few of them. He was pretty brutal with some of them. Howard said it was obvious that he hated Reagan.
Howard said he can't believe how small Reagan's casket is and he figures he must have shrunk over time. He used to be a really tall guy and the casket looks like a baby casket. Howard told Yucko that he had a good week this week doing his interviews, his song parody and more. Yucko said he'd go out and do interviews if they wanted because he'll say anything to anybody. Howard said it's kind of funny because people will talk to a clown no problem. They have no idea what they're in for though. (You can see some of his funny work on the Damn Show DVDs). Howard thought that Yucko's prank calls to Gary the Retard were great as well.
Howard told Yucko that he got about 50/50 bad and good e-mail. He said the only person who did better than that was Sal the Stockbroker. Yucko said that doesn't really matter because Sal cried on his last day. Robin said maybe Yucko should cry too so he did a quick crying session for them.
Howard replayed Yucko's prank calls to Gary the Retard where he got really brutal and yelled at him about being a ''shovel headed mongoloid'' and stuff like that. The call was pretty funny but Howard said they got a lot of mail from people who thought Gary came off better than Yucko in the prank calls. Yucko said that something must have happened to Gary out in Las Vegas. That led to Howard talking about how his chigger bite is still on his finger. Robin said she's still got hers as well. Howard's is bigger than ever. Robin said she's afraid that the chiggers laid eggs in there and they're going to hatch soon.
Howard played more of Yucko's prank calls to Gary the Retard after having a hard time getting to it on the CD he had. In the second call Yucko, who was doing a woman's voice, told Gary that he was Dr. Quinn and she wanted to give him a brain transplant. Gary ended up calling Yucko a ''faggot'' which led to Howard talking about how bad he feels for the gays because everyone uses that ''faggot'' word to bad mouth people.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Yucko deserves the job after what he's done this week. The caller said that Yucko is funnier on the air than anyone else. He told the guy to vote when they open up the voting. They have 2 more people to go through before the end of the ''Get John's Job.'' A phone caller told Howard to get Yucko off the air already.
Another caller asked Howard what was taking them so long to get this bulletin board up on his web site. Howard said that his guys told him that it's going to blow people away and he knows nothing about why it takes so long. Howard said that he's starting the web site stuff because he sees himself being gone from the company soon and he wants a place where people can stay in touch with the show. Things don't look good at this time and he doesn't know how much longer he'll be on air. He said they have 4 new ''notices of apparent liability'' from the FCC and they're just waiting to be fined. Howard went on to talk about Clear Channel and how they just paid off the FCC $1.75 million to get out of some fines they had outstanding. He said that now they don't have to fire anyone else over there. Howard said that Michael Powell seems to think that they've won some battle with Clear Channel by having them pay them off like that. Howard went off on Powell for a short time about how much money the FCC wastes and how that was no victory for them. There are links to stories on HowardStern.com about all of this stuff.
Howard said that if Yucko ever got the job there on the show he'd have to come in wearing that makeup every day. He said that he loves that makeup and that's who Yucko is. He replayed Yucko's song parody from earlier in the week (available at DamnShow.com) as he was wrapping up the segment.
Howard was going to toss some OJ Simpson tapes but he had one he had to play. OJ talks about why he thinks the media doesn't want him to be famous. OJ talks about how people don't want him to get the same benefits that others who were involved with his case were able to get. Howard just laughed when he heard that and goofed on OJ for a couple of minutes about his crazy thoughts. Robin was in shock about some of the stuff OJ was saying about how his popularity and how it's all because of the media that he doesn't get these deals that others are getting.
Howard read an article in Stuff Magazine about OJ's reality TV show called ''Juice'd'' which is going straight to DVD. The guy who wrote the article, Harmon Leon, called in to talk to Howard about the video. He was involved with the practical jokes that OJ was involved with and how he ended up ruining them by not playing along very well. There was one joke they did where OJ tried to steer people toward buying a white Bronco. Harmon said that he just didn't get the whole hidden camera thing. He doesn't help out with the jokes when he's supposed to.
Howard read one joke they did where a woman brought OJ home as her new boyfriend. Harmon said that OJ would just ruin the jokes by just being himself and introducing himself to the people involved. He also told Howard about some of the lame jokes OJ tells. He also talked about how he would see OJ getting make up done and he'd be watching Court TV talking to the TV like it was a person. Howard goofed on OJ and how Court TV is like his own channel because they always work OJ into their discussions.
Harmon told Howard about how many people will come up to OJ and treat him like a huge star. Howard said that he heard that OJ has a huge head as well. Harmon said that he really does have a huge cranial capacity. He told Howard how he managed to get into the ''Juice'd '' video and why he did it. Howard told him he really enjoyed the article he wrote about the whole experience.
Harmon shared a few more stories about OJ and his wacky behavior. He wasn't able to get in any questions about the murder. He doesn't get to hang out with OJ anymore since the article is coming out this month. Howard had the article about a week ago though. Harmon told Howard that he has managed to infiltrate many TV shows and stuff like that. He assembled a fake family for Family Feud but they didn't make it on the air. He told Howard about some of the other wacky stuff he's gotten involved with as well. He ends up writing articles about all of those experiences and he's put them in a book called ''The Harmon Chronicles.''
After wrapping up the call with Harmon he took a call from a guy who claimed to have seen OJ down in Aruba. He was telling Howard the story when his phone cut out. Howard and the guys joked about how OJ probably got to him as he was telling the story and took him out. The guys spent a few more minutes talking about OJ. A phone caller told Howard to hire Harmon to work on the show because he sounded pretty funny.
Howard got back to some of the OJ tapes he had to play. He played a clip of OJ laughing as he was being asked about the 911 call that his daughter made one time when she was scared of what he might do to her. OJ went on to defend what happened and said that the cops had to tell his daughter that she had to listen to what her father told her to do. Howard had a bunch of other clips to play from the interviews that he's been doing but he didn't have time to play them all.
Howard played one clip where OJ was talking about how he said that he wished his kid's mother could be there because she'd be so proud of them. Howard wanted to play more after that but he had to take a break.
Captain Janks called in with a list of songs for them to try and pull from their music library. He gave Howard one and spent a few minutes talking to him while he waited for the song to load into his computer. A minute later he had the song ''Me and You and a Dog Named Boo'' that Janks had asked for. He didn't want to talk it up like he was doing last week... but he did it for the next one. Janks asked for a song called ''Penalty Box'' by David Hammer Shultz or someone like that. They didn't have that one so Janks had finally stumped them. Janks asked for ''Long Tall Glasses, I Can Dance'' by Leo Sayer. Janks came prepared with the WNBC jingle from the old days when Howard worked there. Howard wasn't into doing the talk ups this morning. He tried to get into it so he started doing his WNBC announcer voice. His computer then locked up so he couldn't play the song. He said if that had happened back at WNBC he would have been fired. He ended up getting a little pissed off about that and gave up on all of that. Janks got in a plug for an appearance he's making at Silk Gentleman's Club in North Brunswick, New Jersey tonight. He'll be hosting a beauty contest there. Howard went to break after that plug.
Howard said that Henry really is crazy because he started in with Chuck Zito. Henry said that he doesn't know why Chuck had a beef with him. Howard said that he heard from Chuck that he didn't know who Henry was when he walked up to him at the restaurant they were at. Chuck told Howard that he told Henry to get out of there because he's a rat. Henry went over and sat down at his table with a bunch of his friends and started in saying that he'd kick Chuck's ass. Henry says that he's not that crazy and he wouldn't do that.
Chuck was on the phone so Howard put him on. Chuck said that he's on his way over there to the station. Henry wanted a head start so he could get out of there. Henry said that he would actually box Chuck if he had the chance. Howard thought he was nuts. Henry told Chuck that he'd go a round with him and Chuck told him that it wouldn't last a round.
Howard asked Chuck to tell them what happened out in Vegas. Howard told the same story he'd told earlier. Chuck thought that Henry had gone back to a table where he had about 10 of his friends. Henry said that he was there with 1 person, not 10. He also said that he was just wishing Chuck luck with his book and he went off on him. Chuck says that Henry and all of his guys were kicked out of the restaurant after they started arguing. He said he could get the surveillance tape and show Howard if he wanted.
Chuck was threatening to come down there to take care of Henry but Howard told him not to bother because it's too easy. He'd take him down and it would be like beating up an old man. Gary told Howard that Henry is leaving in about 5 minutes anyway so it would be a waste of his time to come down there.
Howard told Chuck to get in a plug for his book. Chuck said he was on his way down there and didn't even get in a plug for the book. Howard told Henry he shouldn't mess with a guy like Chuck. Henry said that he's not afraid of Chuck though and he's got security with him at the station. He claims that he has the Feds with him. Gary said he'd like to interview them about Henry.
Henry's wife Kelly was there at the station with him so Howard had the guys bring her in. Howard said that he's surprised that Henry was able to find a woman. Kelly told Howard that Henry has to straighten out his life before she'll go back to him. She said that he's crazy and it's total insanity when she's with him. She said she loves him but she's tired and she's had enough of his stuff.
Howard wondered why Kelly was there with Henry. She said that she's working with her writers for a book she's working on. She doesn't want to live with him and she doesn't want to have sex with him. She said she tries not to have sex but they end up doing it anyway. Henry said that she was with him last night but she said she didn't remember because she was asleep.
Howard has a picture of Henry passed out at a slot machine out in Las Vegas that he has to put up on his web site. Henry told Howard that's the reason he got kicked out of the casino out in Vegas, not because of Chuck Zito.
Kelly told Howard that Henry used to beat her all the time. Henry wanted to change subjects and wanted to talk about his book ''Gangsters and Goodfellas: Wiseguys, Witness Protection, and Life on the Run'' which is apparently a best seller.
Henry and Kelly have a 14 year old son together so that's why they stay together. Kelly told Howard that the kid has the same crazy though process that Henry has.
Vinnie Favale called in and told Howard about going to lunch with Henry about a year ago. He said that he had 3 Federal Agents with him at the time and he felt safer with him than anyone else. Dominic Barbara called in and told Henry that Chuck is on his way over there so he'd better get going now. Dominic said he knows that Henry is still helping out the Feds with some of the cases they're working on. Henry was shushing him as he was talking about that stuff. Dominic eventually hung up for no reason as he usually does.
A caller told Howard that his father used to beat Henry up when they were younger. He was claiming that his father did time because of Henry and he was a rat and he'd always be a rat. Henry and the caller went at each other for a couple of minutes. The guy refused to say who his father was. Another caller told Artie to whack Henry with the baseball bat he swings around in the halls at the station. Another guy said that Artie has been pretty quiet today and it seems like he's afraid to say anything about Henry.
Howard ended up talking to Kelly a little more. She's living in a different state than Henry now so maybe it is time to move on. Henry said that he still has the hots for Kelly and he's trying to come to some kind of happy medium with her. He said that she doesn't do anything to annoy him but Howard seems to think that there's something that she does to get him pissed. Henry was trying to explain to Howard what was going on but this wasn't the Dr. Phil show so he didn't want to talk too much about that. Howard wrapped up after that so Henry could get out of there before Chuck showed up. Henry said he doesn't want to see anyone get popped (by the Feds) trying to get to him. He doesn't think Chuck would make it past the feds. They went to commercial break right after that.
Howard had this porn star by the name of Jewel De'Nyle. He sadi that he's having her in because her parents apparetly run her porn career for her. Howard said that she's an attractive woman and looks more like a secretary than a porn star. She had some big boobs so Howard asked if they were real. She said they're paid for.
Jewel told Howard about how she started out as a dancer and her parents weren't too thrilled with that. Then she took them to the AVN awards one year and that seemed to do something. She sadi that her father isn't her biological father but he's been there since she was 6 months old.
Jewel said that her father handles sending out pictures to magazines and her mother handles the sales of her videos and stuff like that. She said she has to describe some of her movies and stuff and the first time she heard her say ''anal'' she almost passed out. Now she's used to it and goofs around with the other girls at the office.
Howard asked Jewel about a story that he read about her and her father. She didn't wnat to talk about it and said that her father's house was raided but they were cleared of any charges. She said she had a serious run in with the FBI and she'd rather not talk about it. She sadi that's what led to her parents getting involved in her career.
Howard had her parents on the phone to talk about all of this stuff. He sadi he could never be involved in his kid's career if they were in porn. He wouldn't be against them if they were in the business but he doesn't think he could help them out. Jewel's father Larry told Howard how he got into the whole thing and how he would rather see her on the big screen with Mel Gibson or someone like that but they're going to love her no matter what. He said she wanted to work hard while she could and make investments so she could have a comfortable life. She's done that and made a great life for herself. Larry siad that he doesn't watch the movies, they just distribute the movies for her. Larry was on the parole board out in Colorado for a while but then a new Governor cmae in and found out that his daughter was a porn star and that's when the investigations started. He explained how there were investigations into his personal life but all of the charges were dropped. Jewel's mother said that it was an election year and that's probably why all of the stuff came out when it did.
Jewel told Howard that she had her parents come work for her after that. She told Howard that her business is going great and it's ranked in the top 5 in the adult industry. She said that she has 10 directors working for her. She doesn't do any Bukkake movies but she did a lot of other stuff. She's retired now but she's still running the company.
Howard talked to Jewel about the whole AIDS scare in the porn industry and how she actually did a movie with the guy who caem back from Brazil with the disease. She said she was with him before he went to Brazil where they think he got the virus.
Howard took some phone calls and let some people talk to Jewel. Jeff the Drunk called in and sadi he wanted to have sex with her. Howard hung up on him and talked to her parents about whether or not their sex life has been opened up by Jewel. Mom said that she may have helped a little bit.
Howard played a few clips from some porn movies and asked Jewel's parents to try and figure out which ones were her. Howard played the clips a couple of times but even Jewel wasn't sure which was her. Howard revealed which one it was a short time later because no one could figure out which one was her. Howard spent a little more time talking to Jewel and then wrapped up the interview and went to break. You can find out more about Jewel at JewelDenyle.net and PlatinumXPictures.com
Howard had Mike think about something that he wanted. Howard pretended to read his mind and said that he could see a woman crying. Mike said he was thinking about a song... Mike thought that Howard was serious and he was actually guessing stuff. Mike said that he really wanted to promote that he's going to be on the Diane Diamond show talking about the Catherine Cryer interview with OJ Simpson.
Howard had Mike get to his game after that. He was still stringing him along with the psychic thing. Mike didn't seem to have a clue. Here's how the game goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard let Mike go after that and took a phone call from a woman who told Howard how hot his girlfriend is. He ended up giving her a $500 prize courtesy of a SpikeTV show called ''Joe Schmo 2'' that starts airing next Tuesday. The woman was thrilled because she really needed the money.
Howard didn't think that it looked like him but the painting was good. She said she got a good grade on it so that was good. Howard said that art schools are supposed to support individual freedom and there's nothing wrong with the picture. He ended up giving her $500 courtesy of ''Joe Schmo 2'' after that. Howard told her to lose 25 pounds and come back to see him. He thought she'd be smoking hot if she lost that weight.
Howard asked her what she ate for dinner. She said that she had a Subway sandwich last night. She's already lost 20 pounds but Howard told her to keep going. A guy called in and told Howard that he dated her when she was thin and she used to have McDonald's wrappers stuffed in her couch and stuff. She said the guy was lying though. Howard excused her and let her go so he could get on with the show. He said that she had a pretty face and she'd be really hot if she lost more weight. She needs to tighten up a bit though.