He eventually lost his wife when she found out what was going on. Then the stripper moved to Los Angeles and Nick ended up losing his business, his homes, his family and eventually the stripper. He said that relationship got just as routine as his marriage had gotten so they broke up. Nick said that he's not only against getting married again but he's against getting into another relationship at all.
Howard said the moral of the story was ''Don't buy a stripper a car.'' Nick said that his whole life was turned upside down because of his obsession with a hot chick. Check out the chick for yourself at Nick's web site Mancini.cc
Ed came in and Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to him before playing the game. Howard pointed out that Ed was a Marine during World War II. They discussed the September 11th attacks for a couple of minutes and Ed said he felt the same way on September 12th as he did on December 8, 1941. He was very upset about the attacks. Howard kept changing the subject and kept bringing up Johnny Carson's name. But Ed didn't seem to want to talk about him the way Howard did.
Howard quickly got to the ''F***, Marry, Kill'' game and told Ed how they play it. Howard gave him the three names and then told Ed his choices. Here are the names and Howard's picks for the first group:
After the game howard spent more time talking to Ed about Johnny Carson and stuff like that. It seemed like Ed really didn't want to stay on that subject and at one point he jokingly threatened to leave. Howard had a bunch of facts on Johnny and Ed and their work on ''The Tonight Show'' so he went through some of that with Ed. Howard tried to find out how much money Ed was making when they first started the show and what he was making at the end. Ed wasn't talking dollar amounts but he said he had a good deal going toward the end of the show. He said at one point, NBC said that 17 percent of their profits were coming from ''The Tonight Show'' alone so they were worth a lot of money to the company.
Ed spent a little bit of time talking about his 5 kids and his 3 marriages with Howard. He said his first marriage lasted 26 years, his second lasted 13 years and his current marriage has lasted 10 years so far. He said this one is ''permanent.''
Howard wrapped up the interview after plugging Ed's new show ''Next Big Star'' which airs on the PAX network Sunday nights at 6pm. Ed will also be at Planet Hollywood today from 10am to 4pm in New York City where they'll be holding an open audition for talented people who want to appear on his show.
During the interview ''Evil Dave'' was making a lot of comments that Ed didn't seem to find funny. After taking a break Howard came back and said that Ed really wasn't happy with ''Dave'' but ''Dave'' went over to Ed and got his autograph. Howard wondered what he was going to do with it but ''Dave'' just made more jokes about it.
Mr. T came in and Howard spent some time talking to him. They talked about his cancer fight and some other things that have gone on in his life. At one point Mr. T mentioned the incident where he cut down some trees on his property and his neighbors got upset with him. He thinks that it was a white/black thing but Howard disagreed with him. That really set off Mr. T. He went nuts yelling and arguing with Howard about the situation for a few minutes. Howard eventually had to give up on the argument because he couldn't get a word in.
When Howard asked Mr. T if he has a girlfriend he said yes. A short time later he said he was kidding and he doesn't have one. Howard and Robin sounded very interested in finding out about the new woman because he hasn't had one in such a long time. It was all a lie though.
Howard then moved on to the arm wrestling thing. He told Mr. T he was going to bring in three guys who wanted to arm wrestle him for a new Xbox video game console. Mr. T then said that he wasn't going to arm wrestle anyone. He said he doesn't have anything to prove and he doesn't do that. Howard brought the three guys in anyway and told them he'd try to get them each an Xbox. Gary came in and said that Mr. T's agent knew about this arm wrestling thing and the agent claims that Mr. T knew about it. Mr. T said he really didn't know and he wouldn't have agreed to do it anyway. Once again there was a big argument about the whole thing. Some of the guys that came down said that Mr. T was a chump for backing out of this. He insisted that he would never do this unless it was for charity or something. Howard then wrapped up the interview and gave out Mr. T's plugs. Mr. T was promoting 1-800-COLLECT and Conair products that can be purchased on Conair.com. He's also got a Mr. T Wacky Wobble doll out. It's one of those dolls where the head bobs around uncontrollably. Veronica got to ring the bell they had set up just one time as Howard ended the segment.
O.R. Said that he did research by reading books and watching gay videos so he could learn the 8 most common depraved things they do with each other. He also claims that some schools actually teach homosexuality to students! He said that those references are in his book. He told Howard that this book is not just for heterosexuals, it's also for homosexuals.
O.R. Told Howard that he'd like to see morality come back to this country. He doesn't think that we should kill homosexuals and he doesn't think they should be arrested unless they're convicted of sodomy.
Howard told O.R. That it's a good thing that homos come out of the closet because if they don't, they end up getting married to women who they don't love. Then they're both miserable.
O.R. Told Howard about some of the things that homos do that upset him. The delay was hit at one point and Howard said that women also do that with men so I'm assuming it was either oral or anal sex he was talking about. O.R. went on to complain about homosexuals who roll around in excrement and get peed on among other things. Howard said he doesn't care what people do in their own bedrooms. He thinks that they should be allowed to do whatever they want to do in private. Robin tried asking him what he does with his wife but he wouldn't talk about it.
Howard eventually gave up on trying to convince the guy to be more lenient. He said you can get the book at WinePressPub.com. ''Sam Kinison''(Craig Gass) dropped in for a couple of minutes. He told O.R. That he doesn't know what he's missing not having anal sex. He also told Howard that he was reading some of the book and found that some of the schools that were listed as teaching homosexuality included Rock Hudson Secretarial, Judy Garland University and Glory Hole University.
Everyone said that she looks great for her age... whatever that number actually is. Howard said she looks better than her daughter Drew! She was wearing a belly chain and a belly shirt to show it off. Howard said she didn't have a gut and looked great. She said she's been working out lately so she's in great shape.
Howard questioned Jaid about how she reunited with her daughter after all of these years. It sounds like it was a combination of Drew's role in ''Driving in Cars With Boys'' and her husband Tom Green suggesting that they get back together. Jaid even got to go to Drew and Tom's wedding. Howard asked her if she had to ask Drew what she could wear to the wedding so she wouldn't embarrass her daughter. Jaid said the relationship isn't like that. She got to hang out with people like Adam Sandler, Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz and a few other celebrities at the wedding. Jaid told Howard she even got Drew's phone number. She told Howard about all of that stuff and then talked about her book. Howard told Jaid that if Drew doesn't like the book, then she shouldn't publish it. Jaid said that Drew has opened her purse strings and has been very nice to her lately. Howard said that she doesn't want to spoil that so if Drew doesn't like that book, she should forget the whole idea. Howard tried to find out how Drew sends money to Jaid but she didn't want to talk about that.
Howard and Artie Lange both complimented Jaid's looks. Artie said her face is really cute and it's better than Drew's. Jaid said it's really not but thanked them for the compliments. Howard said it looked like her breasts were bigger than ever too.
Howard took a call from Chaunce Hayden who said he wanted to go to the wedding with Jaid. Howard said Chaunce wouldn't be allowed in that wedding because he's not on Drew's ''approved friend list.'' Howard told him he's too wacky for Drew anyway. He must be friends with Jaid or something and that's why he hoped to go to the wedding.
Howard got back to Jaid and asked her if she'd write about the famous guys she's slept with in her life. She claims she slept with Jim Morrison of the Doors so that might be in the book. Howard also mentioned names like Jack Nicholson, Jackson Browne and James Taylor. Stuttering John said he tried to get Jaid himself but that didn't work out.
Howard gave Jaid a few plugs for movie's she's appearing in and gave out a number for her literary agent. She's looking for someone to publish her book so that's why she gave out the number.
Howard called today ''Day Three'' after the terrorist attacks in the city. He said he still doesn't know what to do on the show. He and Robin discussed some of the things they heard on the news yesterday. Howard heard from one person that an Iraqi company had tried to up their insurance policy on a building they own in Washington D.C. The day before the attacks but they weren't able to do so.
KC showed up this morning. The other day he ran out of the building and out to Long Island to get away from the city. When he came in the studio Howard told him that he needs to put on a dress this morning because he's such a little girl for running away. Robin was really harsh on him and the two of them went at each others throats for a couple of seconds. KC sounded very angry and told Robin to ''SHUT UP!'' a few times.
Howard said he thought about leaving the city last night after he got scared again. This time it was the smell of burning plastic that freaked him out and made him think that his own building was on fire. It was just the smoke from the other smoldering buildings making its way up toward his building. He never did get out of the city last night though.
KC continued to defend himself for leaving the city as everyone called him names. Everyone else on the show stayed around and did the show the next day while KC was hanging out on Long Island. Even Tom Chiusano came in and told KC that it would have been the ''professional thing'' to do because their job is to get information out to people. It turns out KC was getting a tan on his way into the city last night. That set people off even more and it was constant yelling and joking about KC. Howard told him he might be cowardly but he looks good.
KC made a good point when he said that Howard was thinking about not coming in on Wednesday. That didn't stop the goofing though. Robin was the worst though. Her high-pitched, screeching voice was like a police siren as she yelled ''Pansy, Pansy'' and other little digs. She was relentless. Even I wanted her to shut up. KC said he wanted to choke her for all of the goofing. Robin said she's not afraid of him though. She said she could just say ''boom'' and he'd run away like the little girl he is. The conversation continued for a good 40 minutes. Gary eventually came in with a dress and shoes for KC to wear. KC took the dress and ripped it. He doesn't have a sense of humor according to Robin.
Howard took a break and had Gary the Retard on the phone to explain to him what was going on in New York City. Gary the retard said he heard 150 people were missing but Howard had to explain to him that it was more like 10,000. Robin had to ask Gary if he would have stayed in the city or run home like KC did. Gary said he would have stayed and helped Howard out.
After that call Howard got back to discussing some of the things that happened in the news yesterday. He continued to talk about what he thinks should be done about the situation as he did during yesterday's show.
Two women came in to play for different things. The first woman, Christy, is 5 months pregnant and she was playing for the chance to play her husband's band's CD on the air. Howard said she was pretty attractive even though her body was distorted from being pregnant. She had 30 seconds to do her best at making out with Beetle. To make things worse Beetlejuice ate some sardines before the make out session. Christy went ahead and made out with Beetlejuice and the crew sounded stunned by they way she kissed and grabbed Beetle's package. Robin said there was no way anyone could outdo her. Beetlejuice said it was great and he really enjoyed it. They said that Christy just about swallowed Beetle's head when she was kissing him.
Next up was Sarah who was playing for breast implants. She's a 21 year old bartender/stripper who just wants an extra cup size. The guys all said that she'd be really hot with implants. She didn't seem like she was into making out with Beetlejuice but once she started she really got into it. She took her top off and rubbed all over him while she kissed him. After her 30 seconds the crew were once again amazed at her performance.
Howard had everyone give their votes for who should win. Howard and Robin both picked Sarah as the winner but Artie and Fred went with Christy because she was so into Beetlejuice. Since there was a tie they decided to have a run off to pick the winner. The girls had 10 seconds to do their best. Once again Sarah got really into her erotic dance and Howard said she took Beetle's hand and put it on her chest. Christy did something similar and grabbed his package again. Once again the vote was split so they had to have KC break the tie. This time Robin and Fred picked Christy while Howard and Artie went with Sarah. KC broke the tie when he picked Sarah as the winner because of her ''unbridled passion'' during her make out session.
Howard told Christy that he'd give her a plug for her husband's band since she was such a good sport. The band is called Loaded Poets and you can check out their music at LoadedPoets.com
Howard had Dr. Sal Calabro (SalCalabro.com) on the phone to talk about what he's going to do for Sarah. He said it sounds like she's a candidate for just a minor cup size upgrade.
Howard spent a few more minutes with Beetle and a phone caller told Howard that one night Beetle was making an appearance where they forced him to vomit by giving him some ipecac. They didn't tell Beet they were doing it so he was a little upset by it. Beet's manager Sean came in and said that they did that just one time and it was to liven things up at the party. He also claimed that it was this guy Joey Boots who suggested doing it. Joey called in and said Sean was lying about the story. Beetle and Sean ended up yelling at Joey on the phone a little bit. Beetle's buddy Drunken Jamie was also there yelling at Joey. It sounds like they really hate each other. Howard wrapped things up a short time later.
Johnny told Howard that he wrote 10 ''Ni****'' songs back in the '60's and recorded a total of 12. He said it was a different time back then and he wouldn't think of writing anything like them these days. He's written ''F-You Osama bin Laden'' instead. Howard played a quick clip of that song for us and said you can get a copy of that at OfficialJohnnyRebel.com or IHateOsama.com.
Howard spent a few more minutes trying to find out where Johnny was coming from with all of those racist songs. Johnny said none of the songs about his wife running off with a ''ni****'' were true stories. They were just songs that he wrote. The words just came to him he says.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for Johnny before wrapping up with him. He also spoke to him about what he does for a living down in Louisiana. Apparently he raises worms to make a living. Howard didn't seem to believe that Johnny isn't a racist. Howard and Artie were making a bunch of ''ni****'' jokes too so Johnny wasn't so sure that Howard wasn't a racist.
After Kelsey's call Howard wrapped up the interview with Ebert and Roeper. He read some of their top 10 movie picks and pondered why they picked some of them.
Dick owns the Golden Globe awards so Howard asked him how he came by that. Dick explained how he got them and how they're the second highest rated awards next to the Oscars. Howard said that the Golden Globes are a joke though. He thinks that they get payoffs to give awards to the celebrities that win. Dick defended his awards show and said none of that happens.
Howard tried to find out how much Dick makes on a show like that for one night. He guessed $7 million but Dick said he was nuts. When Howard said $5 million Dick said he'd just leave it alone. He didn't want to get into his finances so he wouldn't answer it. Dick really wanted to talk about his show ''The Other Half'' which is a bunch of guys talking about women. The show is on each weekday. Howard and the guys goofed on Danny Bonaduce and the kid from ''Saved by the Bell'' who is really creepy according to Howard. He got a plug in for that before Howard brought up his new show ''The Chamber.'' Dick told Howard the history of the show before Howard did what he wanted to do. In the show they put people under pressure by exposing them to extreme heat and cold as well as vibration and noise. Howard had this guy Mike come in who can fart at will to play the game with Dick. The farter started blasting away while Howard asked Dick some questions. Dick cracked under the pressure and couldn't answer the first question ''Which of the 5 senses is sharpened by Radial Carototomy?'' (Vision)
Howard then had Debbie the Queefer come in. She ''queefed'' with her private parts while Howard asked Dick another question. ''Name the big 3 Japanese auto makers.'' Dick got out Nissan, Honda and Infiniti. Howard was looking for Toyota instead of Infiniti but they accepted the answer. Then both Mike and Debbie made their noises as Howard asked Dick 2 more questions:
Jon wasn't making much sense during his little speech either so Howard replayed the tape and made fun of Jon a little more while he had him on the phone. Jon didn't want Howard to replay the tape but Howard went ahead and did it. Howard wanted Jon to explain some parts of the speech to him because he just didn't understand what the heck he was talking about. Jon told Howard that's what happens when you go off the teleprompter and try talking about stuff without a script.
Howard said he understands Jon getting upset because everyone is upset but he didn't understand parts of the speech. Gary came in and told Howard that Jon's speech went on for about 9 minutes and at one point he talks about Martin Luther King's assassination and how Jon had to sit under his school desk and eat cottage cheese. Jon explained that he was talking about that to let people know that their kids would eventually get over this tragedy.
Howard made fun of Jon for a short time and let a couple of phone callers goof on him too. Howard eventually told Jon he knows his heart was in the right place, he just wasn't making any sense during his speech and that's what they were making fun of. Jon told Howard that he was doing a good thing with his Howard Stern Relief Fund too. Gary said that they've raised more than $2.5 million with that fund drive. Howard ended the segment saying that Jon is a good guy but then he made fun of how Jon seems to think that he's competing against Leno and Letterman even though he's on basic cable and no one is watching that show of his. That's a shame because it is a very funny show.
The main reason the women were down was so that Howard could introduce the retarded mother to Gary the Retard. Gary came in and Howard tried to hook him up with Judy but Gary, even though he's a retard himself, wanted to go out with Mary. He had no interest in her mother at all. The grandmother didn't do anything for him either. He wouldn't even look at Judy. Howard kept telling him that it was the woman sitting next to him that they were trying to hook him up with but he just kept looking at Mary.
Howard was wrapping things up and mentioned Mary's web site MaryCarey.com. Gary the Retard said he has a web site also... ''WWW dot com'' is exactly what he said. He didn't know the full address.
After taking a break Howard said that was either the worst bit he's ever done or it was the most fascinating. He said they were booked for sometime in January but when Howard heard about it he rushed them in.
Triple H said that even though he started seeing Stephanie before he and Joanie were officially broken up, he doesn't feel it was cheating. He said the relationship had already started to fall apart before that.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking about the WWF and the injury Triple H sustained back in May. He's gone through rehab and he's back in the ring.
Howard wrapped up the interview by bringing in a fan of Triple H's who has a tattoo of the word ''Triple H'' on his arm. The guy, Chris, came in and showed the tattoo and shook like a little girl according to Howard. He was so excited to meet Triple H that he was shaking. Howard let Chris say a few words to Triple H. Artie Lange said that it looked like Chris was crying after he welcomed Triple H back to the ring. Chris said he wasn't crying though. Howard ended the interview shortly after that.
The girls shared quite a bit about the relationship and Howard said he'd love to make love to at least one of the girls. The girls also said they will bring home other hot chicks for Ken to enjoy once in a while. That seemed to be just what Howard wanted to hear from them.
He got back to their book and said that he read it and he'd suggest it for young girls. He wrapped up the interview after giving the girls a couple of plugs for their stuff.
Gary came in and said he heard that Erik was really annoying to this guy Eric from Elektra records. Eric from Elektra called in and told Howard how he ran into High Pitch at the Hank the Dwarf memorial they had on the street and he was really annoying. High Pitch ended up asking Eric for a bunch of stuff including his credit card number so he could pay for his cable bill! He barely knew the guy and he was asking for his credit card number. High Pitch said that he was put on welfare and he's going crazy. High Pitch didn't have an explanation for what he did.
Howard moved on to let High Pitch spin the Wheel of Sex so he could play for a Microsoft Xbox video game system. Someone was playing with the cod they'd used earlier in the show and Erik was freaking out. He hates fish and he didn't want it anywhere near him. He was screaming like Mickey Mouse being murdered as someone put the fish near him. They then put three fish near him and he went crazy screaming ''NO, NO... Get it away!'' They kept this up for a couple of minutes because it was so amusing to see him freak out. Since he was so freaked out by the fish Howard wanted to make him either make out with a fish or put one down his pants to win the Xbox. Erik refused to kiss the fish but he wanted to make a deal. Howard told him there was no deal, he had to either kiss the fish or put one down his thong bikini. Erik wanted nothing to do with the fish at all. He turned down the $300 Xbox because he doesn't like dead fish! KC was making the fish talk to Erik so he was completely freaked out.
Gary came in and asked Howard to get Erik to stop bothering Chef Bobby, the guy who makes Howard's lunch. Chef Bobby was on the phone to tell Howard that Erik is always hanging out at his business bothering him for food. He's got to keep up that physique somehow.
KC chased Erik out of the studio with the fish. They gave him a count of three and he ran out of the studio. This guy Jonas called in and said that Erik is also afraid of the dark and moths.
Howard said they're rushing this segment to air on tomorrow night's E! show.
Chris told Howard about how he and his group of buddies went to see ''Private Parts'' when it came out. They were planning on seeing an awful movie but they ended up enjoying it. Howard said that he just watched Adam Sandler's ''Little Nicky'' the other day. Chris said he didn't want to hear this because he's friend's with Sandler. Howard continued and said that the first 10 minutes were pretty funny but after that the movie just went down hill. Chris refused to bad mouth his buddy though. Howard said he had to turn the movie off because it got so bad.
Howard moved on to talk about Chris' movie. Chris said he's been doing all of the shows to promote the movie. He was on Leno, Letterman and even Oprah. Howard asked him if he's going to do Hollywood Squares. Chris basically said he wouldn't stoop that low at this point in his career. He said there are some shows you do when you're on your way up and there are some you do when you're on your way out. He figures he's on his way up.
Howard brought up the latest Jesse Jackson controversy and how they just found another woman who Jesse was paying for some reason. Chris didn't want to bad mouth that guy either but he did say that he's glad he didn't have his HBO show when the story came out because he probably would have buried the guy.
Howard said he read that there is a lot of pressure on Chris to do well with this new movie. People are saying that it's a ''make or break'' type of movie and he's hoping it does well. Chris said that's partly true. He wrote the movie and he's hoping it really does well. He said he's seen it and it's good. He said he wouldn't be on the show if it wasn't good.
Howard spoke to Chris about hanging out with Jerry Seinfeld and how that's going. Chris said they enjoy each other's company and there's no competition between them because Jerry is so big. He's already done it all.
Howard took a few phone calls and one guy pointed out that Chris had some tooth work done. Chris said he admits to that. Howard also had some tooth work done after ''Private Parts''. He said he actually had some of his lower teeth pulled out to fix the mess that was there. He's never told anyone on the show about that before so Robin was surprised to hear that.
Captain Janks and Big Black both called in and had questions for Chris. Janks asked Chris if he ever saw Danny Glover's penis when he worked with him. Chris said he never saw it. Big Black said he was an extra in ''Down to Earth'' but Chris didn't remember him. Big Black said he was in the Apollo Theater scenes so keep your eyes open to see that rippled bald head of his.
Chris told Howard he doesn't know if his movie will beat ''Hannibal'' and he's hoping it will come in at least second at the box office this weekend.
Andrea showed Howard her breast implants which her father bought for her! She said she told him she wasn't going to strip anymore to convince him to pay for them but then turned right around and went back to stripping. KC came in and said Andrea has made so much money stripping that she doesn't have to work. She said she can make $800 to $1000 a night stripping. She said she's tired of that right now so she's taking a break. Howard said Andrea was wearing a bra top and a mini skirt standing there in the studio.
Howard had a quick test for Andrea to see if she really is the stupidest girl. Andrea said she just needs to take a typing class to get her high school diploma. She said she's ordered the test but hasn't received it yet. Howard asked her a few questions and she could only answer one correctly... Here they are:
Howard brought Beetlejuice in a short time later and reintroduced the two of them. Beetlejuice was dressed up in a suit when he came in so he was prepared to make a good impression on Camille. Howard said he looked like Sean ''P. Diddy'' Combs in his suit.
Beetle told Camille that sort of remembered her. Howard asked Camille what she thought of Beetlejuice's drinking and womanizing. She said that she'd like him to stop with the drinking and the women. Beetle actually said he'd give them up for her. Beetle said he's ready to settle down with her and have kids. Camille said they'd have to adopt kids because she's not able to have any of her own. She said she's got some kind of problem that's too personal to discuss.
Howard heard that Beetle had a ring to give her so he had him dig it out of his pocket. Beet went through his pockets for a couple of minutes pulling out everything but the ring. He pulled out some cigarettes and Camille said she'd like him to give them up too. Then she said she has to let him do something so she'll let him smoke.
Beetlejuice eventually found the ring and said to Camille ''I love you but I'll still give this to you.'' Howard said Beetle was trembling as he did it. Camille had some tears coming from her eyes too. Howard said he hopes they'll be happy together.
Howard took some phone calls from listeners who tried to get Beetlejuice riled up. Yucko the Clown called in after KC told Howard that he and Beetlejuice were fighting. Yucko said that Beet was hassling him via e-mail and instant messages. Then he called Beet a little ''nig*er'' and the two of them went off on each other for a few seconds. Howard said it wasn't the right time for that and he didn't want to ruin the moment for Camille so he cut Yucko off.
Camille is white and Beetlejuice is black so Howard asked the two of them if they think that will be a problem. Camille said it won't be a problem with her family and Beetlejuice said he doesn't think it'll be a problem either.
As Howard was wrapping up the segment KC reminded Howard that the Beetlejuice action figure is coming out soon. Beetle said it's not done yet but when it's available you can pick it up at grocery stores like Shop-Rite... He also spells the word red ''LSTER.'' KC said you can find out more about the action figure through Beet's web site JollyDwarf.com. You can also go right to FightingAmishToys.com to see pictures of what the figure will look like.
Fred was next on the list and Howard ended up picking Fred changing his name to Eric as the stupidest moment for Fred. He said he just didn't understand why he did that and why he didn't tell anyone at the time.
General Manager Tom Chiusano was the last on the list. Howard ended up saying that his stupidest moment was Tom telling everyone that he has to see two movies on the weekends, one comedy and one drama to cancel each other out. Howard also mentioned a few other dumb things that Tom has done that weren't on Shuli's list. Tom, a cancer survivor, wrote a letter for this cancer newsletter and ends up talking about how he's going to continue golfing no matter what. They mentioned a couple of other dopey things that he did before taking a break.
Howard brought up a bunch of things that he's read about Daryl in the tabloids but Daryl told him he's got to stop reading that stuff because it's just not true. He also tried to get her to talk about some of the relationships she's had but she told him that she doesn't like to talk about that stuff.
Howard wanted to know why Daryl lived in a teepee for a while. Daryl told him that she was refurbishing a house on her property and she had a teepee put up so she could stay there. She said it was actually a nice place to live for a while. Howard said he thinks that she's like a hippie-type from all of the things he's read about her. She said she's really not, she's just a normal person. She did admit that she's somewhat of a hermit but she's not a hippie.
Howard did get Daryl to call Oliver Stone a dickhead at one point. He brought up how she didn't get along with Stone when she was in the movie ''Wall Street'' and called him a dickhead. He then asked Daryl why she didn't get along with him and she jokingly said ''because he's a dickhead... just kidding.'' Then she said she just didn't get along with him. She then said that he was a very talented film maker though.
Howard continued to ask her questions about what she was wearing and stuff like that. As he was wrapping up the call and plugging the movie Daryl told him that her breasts look a little small in the film because she lost some fat because she was working out pretty hard for the part.
After the call Howard got back to the breast exams. He quickly checked Erin's B-cup breasts and said he couldn't find any lumps. He then checked Allison's C-cups and thought he'd found a lump at one point. He had her check it herself but it disappeared for some reason. The whole time Howard was feeling up Allison Fred was playing car horn honking sound effects so you could almost visualize what he was doing. Allison kept offering to check Howard for testicular cancer but he didn't want her to do that.
After wrapping up the segment with the girls Howard spent a few more minutes talking to Gilbert Gottfried about masturbation. He wanted to find out what Gilbert's ritual was for watching porno and whacking off. Gilbert just kept joking around and wouldn't tell Howard what he does. Howard ended up talking about his ritual and how he lays in bed with a box of tissues nearby so he can rub one out as he watched a porno in his bedroom.
Fred didn't know why he went back to the Barbra Streisand question. He thought he might get it if he heard it again but it didn't come to him.
Later in the show Gary came in and said that a bunch of people told him that because Cabbie is an employee of the station, he can't win the money. The rules said that no employees are eligible to win so he might be out of luck. Howard wanted them to give it to him anyway but they may have to wait until tomorrow when Tom gets back to find out. Cabbie said that's the story of his life. He won but then they yanked it back from him. Scott the engineer came in and congratulated Cabbie on being a bigger loser than him. Howard said that Cabbie deserves it and he'll fight for him to get it.
After a long break Howard came back and had Fred from GoldenPalace.com on the phone to give the results. Howard had him give the third place contestant first. Tom turned out to be the person with the least amount of votes. Fred told Howard that Tom was in the lead at one point but he ended up losing out. The runner up was Selena so the winner was number one, Bianca. Fred said the voting was very close but he didn't give out the numbers. Tom was very bitter that he lost and he wasn't afraid to say it. He thought that he had a good chance of winning but obviously he was wrong. Howard said he probably would have voted for Selena himself.
Howard said Beetlejuice came in dressed as Erkle from ''Family Matters''. He was wearing glasses and tried to look smart. Howard plugged a party that Beetlejuice will be at tonight in Staten Island. He asked Beet where it would be and Beet said Manhattan. Beet was very intent on talking to Robin today. He kept looking at her and sweet talking her. He kept calling her honey and sweetheart through the whole segment.
Howard asked Beet when the last time he got laid was. Beet rambled in his usual way saying that he gets laid often.. but then he said the last time was in 1976. Then he said he was born in 1975.. So he was only 1 when he got laid?
Howard tried to talk to Gary the Retard but it was tough. He said that Gary has gained quite a bit of weight since they last saw him. Howard asked him how much he weighs now and he said 146 pounds. Beet had to do him one better so he said he weighs ''..147 dude!'' Howard also noticed that Gary's new teeth were missing. Gary says that he keeps them in his coat pocket because they hurt his mouth. Beet gave him some advice and told him to get braces to hold them in. Beet bragged that he has his own teeth.
Howard was ready to start the game when Gary said that he watches Jeopardy all the time. He also watches Hollywood Squares. Beet heard that and said that he can get 20 squares when he plays that on his computer. Always bragging..
Howard finally got to the questions and started with Beet. The first three are not a mistake. Howard asked the same question 3 times!
Howard plugged the Beetlejuice thing again and Beet continued to ramble on and on about nonsense as he usually does. Howard took some phone calls and people were saying that this was the funniest thing they've ever heard. One guy suggested they send Beet to Harvard to be studied.
Beetlejuice was talking about how he can beat the crap out of anyone who he doesn't like. Howard asked him how tall he is and he just went crazy. He said that he weighs 825 pounds.. up to 25 pounds.. Then 45 pounds. There's got to be some short circuits in his brain.
A guy called in pretending to be Beetlejuice's wife Katiejuice. (S)he started telling Beet that she was mad at him for not coming home and Beet seemed to think that it was really his wife. He told Katiejuice that he told her he'd be home in 2 weeks. It was very bizarre.
High Pitch Erik showed up because he'll be at the Beet party tonight. He was wearing a rainbow wig with his shirt off. Howard said he was ill just looking at him. Erik said that he and Beet do a thing together. Beetlejuice rides him like a horse. Beet got on his back, after walking out of the studio for a second, and hopped on. Howard was trying to wrap things up but it was tough. He told them to stop but then Beet started smacking Erik. Erik, in his Mickey Mouse voice, yelled at Beet to ''STOP IT!'' Beet told Erik that he was his bitch and told him to shut up. Howard then told Beet to feel up Erik. Erik told Beet that he's a faggot if he feels him up. Then Beet said he'd beat Erik up tonight. Erik said something about not being afraid of ''negros like you'' to him. Howard finally got them to stop and ended the fun.
You can find out more about the Beetlejuice party at JollyDwarf.com and Erik has a new site at HPErik.com