Howard said he was in Anguilla for his vacation and it's his favorite place to go. He said he got plenty of rest while he was there. He told Robin what he did during a typical day there. He said he'd wake up late, eat breakfast and then take a beach walk. Howard said he usually pees in the ocean when he's at the beach but he read about a guy who got his penis bitten off by some kind of fish that was attracted to the warmth of urine. He said he'd pee in the pool instead. He continued to go through his day telling everyone about his eating and crapping habits while he was there. He also talked about bringing ''Green Lantern'' comic books with him. He got into a discussion about the powers of Green Lantern and why he enjoys the comic books so much. He said his days went by really quick but he enjoyed it the whole time he was there.
Howard said he ran into a couple he knows while he was in Anguilla. He said within ten minutes he got a call from his daughter telling him she just heard she ran into the couple. Howard said that couple must be the queens of the Yenta network to have gotten that news to his daughter that quickly.
Howard said he had a cold last week during his vacation and he thinks the Las Vegas trip threw him off so much that he got sick. He still had a bit of phlegm screwing up his voice this morning.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who saw his girlfriend Beth on the E! show last week. He told Howard how hot he thought she was. Howard said he loves when people tell him stuff like that. The caller also said he wanted to be evaluated on Howard's show by some women. Howard told the guy that won't happen on his show. They want to see women, not guys getting nake on his show. Howard ended up giving the guy a $500 prize he had to give away though. The prize was courtesy of the new movie ''40 Days and 40 Nights'' which is about a guy who gives up sex for 40 days. Howard and the guys talked about how unrealistic that concept is for a short time.
Howard's girfriend came up in discussion again when a caller told Howard he can't complain about anything in his life because his girlfriend is so hot. Gary said a bunch of guys he plays hockey with were discussing her in the locker room the other night. Howard mentioned that ''FHM'' magazine will be out soon with Beth on the cover. He wondered if his fans would be whacking off to her and realized that they will. He then said he wanted to forbid that from happening because that's disgusting.
Howard and the guys spent some time talking about stuff that went on during their vacation. Howard mentioned ''60 Minutes'' and how they showed a procedure for Parkinson's disease where they drill a hole in a person's head and insert some kind of wire that triggers an electrical pulse that can somehow cut back on the shakes that Parkinson's sufferers have.
The Oylmpics were also brought up. Howard said there was no TV in Anguilla so he didn't see any of the coverage. Robin and Gary filled him in on a few things that happened during the games.
Robin also wanted to talk about basketball player Jayson Williams and the guy who died at his house during their vacation. Everyone talked about that and how huge Williams' house is. Chaunce Hayden called in and said he had some old information about Williams. He told Howard about another incident at his house where he accidentally shot another guy. They all spent a little while talking about that story before moving on to other things.
Chaunce also brought up an interview he did with Kathie Lee Gifford. Howard said he read the article and Chaunce asked her about Howard. She made some comments about Howard but they didn't have the article there to read what she said.
Howard talked about Tiffany and her ''Playboy'' shoot for a short tiem since she was coming in later in the show. He said when Tiffany was a bit hit as a kid he knew they'd see her naked one day... and he was right. He also said she's the one he always wanted over Debbie Gibson. These days it's between Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera and he'd pick Christina over Britney. He also thinks that we'll see both of them in ''Playboy'' one day.
Howard also quickly mentioned that Roger Ebert is scheduled to appear on the show next week even though he just had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. Howard said he'd better show up or he'll ridicule him for not showing up. A similar situation happened with Suzanne Somers when she was sick. She was scheduled to appear on his show but when she got sick everyone wanted to talk to her. She ended up cancelling Howard's show and went on a bunch of other shows instead.
Howard killed some more time playing tapes and taking phone calls. One phone caller told Howard that Adam Carolla wasn't funny and he should just stop ad-libbing. Howard defended Adam and said he's very funny. Howard said he knows funny and Adam is funny. That led to a bunch of people calling in to tell Howard what they think of Adam and Artie Lange who was out today working on a movie. A lot of people still think Artie isn't all that funny.
Robin found out that Tiffany is now separated from her husband. She said she was married for 10 years and now they're ''reassessing'' their relationship. Gary wondered who will have to pay who if they get divorced. She said that they're great friends and that shouldn't be an issue for them. She told Howard he's a makeup artist and he's got his own career going. Adam Carolla asked her if he's ''bi (sexual)'' which got a laugh out of everyone. Tiffany said that he's not.
Howard continued to question Tiffany about her marriage and why it has fallen apart. She said that she's been busy with her career and that put a strain on it.
Howard asked Tiffany why she did the ''Playboy'' shoot because a lot of celebrities say they do it to jump start their careers again. Tiffany said that's why she did it. She said she wasn't able to get booked anywhere after releasing her last album because of her name. People were still thinking of her as the mall singing young girl. Then the ''Playboy'' thing came up. She said at first she didn't want to do it but then thought that it might help change her image. She said it's already helped get her on Howard's show again.
Howard checked out her pictures in ''Playboy'' and asked Tiffany about what the shoot was like. She told Howard how uncomfortable she was doing the shots where they show her crotch. She said they actually have a makeup person who groomed her pubic hair. She said they do that and darken the hair with mascara.
Tiffany told Howard that she's not dating anyone right now. She said she has her son to keep her busy and the separation isn't necessesarily a permanent thing. Howard said that he thought it was and he was out dating as soon as he was separated.
Tiffany told Howard that she did tell her son that she's in ''Playboy'' so Howard wanted to know how she told the kid. She told him how she showed him a couple of different magazines and told him that she was going to be in one too.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for Tiffany but she wasn't the subject of the calls. A few people were just calling in to bust Howard's balls for some reason. One woman was talking about Howard being out at dinner the other night wearing a satin shirt. Howard kept telling her that it wasn't satin, it was just a sweatshirt. SHe was also complaining about how Howard was talking to all of the employees at the restaurant because he was just trying to be ''an average Joe.'' Howard said he can't win. He said people came up to him to say ''hello'' to him so he stopped to talk to them. If he hadn't done that he'd be a scumbag. Either way he got crap from this woman. He ended up yelling at her saying that he hates her and then hung up on her.
Howard took a few more phone calls and plugged her web site TiffanyMusic.com where you can find out more about her album and where she'll be performing.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about the weather in New York City and how ''warm'' it's been lately. He said when he was in Anguilla over vacation he called his mom and she told him it was very warm (50 degrees) in New York City. It's warm for winter but he was on the beach in Anguilla.
Howard and Adam ended up talking about weathermen. Adam thinks that they should have a guy like Steven Hawking doing the weather. That led to them talking about the movie ''A Beautiful Mind'' and how they never really tell you what the guy did to earn the Nobel Prize.
Howard brought up the Jayson Williams story and said that it's driving him nuts. He talked about how much he's worth and how dumb it is that he allegedly killed a guy while playing with a shotgun. Howard and Adam came up with a concept for a Jayson Williams comedy show featuring Mr. Mooney from ''I Love Lucy'' advising Jayson in his life. Howard came up with a bunch of ideas for the show and goofed around with the idea for a few minutes. That led to Howard discussing the ''I Love Lucy'' show and what he's heard about what went on behind the scenes there.
Howard said he heard from someone he worked with at WNBC on his first day and that guy reminded him of a Pig Virus (Howard's pet name for his WNBC General Manager) story. Pig Virus told Howard he wasn't allowed to hit the cymbal in his studio because the musicians union said he couldn't. Howard said Pig Virus was there from day one to try and get him to quit because WNBC had realized that they'd made a mistake hiring him. Howard also talked about some of the other managers he's had and the strange things they told him to do and not do on his show. Adam also had some stories to tell about the guy he works for.
Howard mentioned that this guy Farid who was one of the big guys at the company he works for has resigned. Howard said Farid never did anything at the company and now he has to go out and try to prove that he did do something there by working for a smaller company. Howard talked about that for a short time and said that he may regret talking crap about Farid if, for some reason, he gets fired and has to go to Farid for a job some day.
Howard quickly played this phone line that you can give out to people you don't ever want to see again. It's the RejectionLine.com rejection line. If you go out on a date and your date asks for your number, you can give them this line and a message plays telling them that they've been rejected.
Howard and Adam spent some time talking about couples therapy and what a waste of time that is. Howard went through therapy with his wife before they got divorced and Adam said he's gone through therapy with a girlfriend.
Stuttering John came in to talk about the warts he has on his hands. He said that his doctor told him he's getting them from the gym where he works out. Howard thinks he's nuts because he works out at a gym and he's never gotten any warts on his hands. Gary said that John's daughter also has warts on her hands and she doesn't work out at the gym. John said that her warts are a different type of wart and they're treated differently.
A phone caller complained about the amount of vacation Howard takes each year. Howard said no one is ever happy with the amount of vacation he takes. He said he's only taken one week this year so far and people are already complaining. Howard ended up giving the guy a prize just for calling in. It was another $500 courtesy of ''40 Days and 40 Nights'' which opens on Friday.
Adam was complaining about the hotel he's been staying in while he's doing the show. Gary came in and said that Tom just won't let them spend a lot of money on accommodations for their guests because he says ''the radio business is in the toilet.'' Howard thought that Tom was going to help him out with guests since Jackie left and they have his salary to use on guests.
Howard took another call from a guy complaining about the delay button hits that Andre has been terrorizing the show with lately. He hit it a couple of times this morning and it bothered the caller. Howard then went into his ''I'm leaving radio in 4 years'' rant like he does when he gets pissed. He said when his contract is up he's done with radio. He said he knows he said that before he signed his current contract but this time he's serious. He and Adam discussed some of the stuff they're allowed and not allowed to say on the show.
Howard brought up R. Kelly and how he's being accused of sleeping with under aged girls. That led to a discussion about how Elvis and Jerry Seinfeld dated younger girls. Howard and the guys all talked about what age would be the youngest they'd date at this point in their lives. Adam Carolla said that he's 37 now and the youngest he'd go with is a 20 year old. Howard, who's 48, said he dated a 22 year old after his divorce and that was too young for him. He said she mentioned something about high school when she was talking to him and it bothered him a bit. He said right now he wouldn't date anyone younger than 25. He also said he wouldn't date anyone younger than his daughter who is 18 now. He said when she's 40 he'd probably date someone younger than her though.
This guy Shuli calls in once in a while with updates of what E! scrolled under Howard's show the night before. He read off a bunch of really lame ''news'' stories that E! just had to get out there during Howard's show. Howard has been complaining about how the scrolls distort the picture during his show for months now. Shuli points out just how meaningless the news blurbs really are.
Mike Gange came in to give Howard his ''what's on TV tonight'' update. He mentioned that Julia Louis Dreyfus' new show is on tonight. Howard ended up reading a review of the show which made it sound like it sucks. Howard said he loves the fact that all of the ''Seinfeld'' crew have shows that have failed. He said he doesn't know why he enjoys it so much though. Robin seems to be enjoying it a bit too much also. She said she saw a poster of Michael Richards as ''Cosmo Kramer'' somewhere recently and she just laughed and thought that's all he'll ever be... Kramer. She said she loves Jason Alexander but she's glad his show failed.
Howard said he's been watching the dailys from ''Son of the Beach'' and in one of the new episodes Gilbert Gottfried does his Dracula character. Howard said it's great and he might bring in a clip to play on the show.
Howard quickly mentioned a book that he'd read called ''The Hollywood Book of Death'' which details the live of George Reeves who played ''Superman'' back in the '50's. He talked about some of the odd stuff that happened to Reeves according to the book.
Howard also brought up Gene Simmons' book ''Kiss and Make-Up'' which he had some excerpts from. In the book Gene talks about Ace Freyley's obsession with Nazi uniforms and how it really bothered him. Howard read some a couple of excerpts and then moved on to play some voice mails.
Howard played a bunch of voice mails from this guy who calls in and complains about everything he sees on TV. Another caller said he saw Robin get into an accident last week. Robin didn't say exactly how she got in the accident but she did say she did something stupid and the cars were all stuck together in the street. She said she and the other people had to walk to a police station to get a report written about it because the police were too busy to come to the scene.
Howard got a fan on the phone and played a warm-up question for him. He then played the questions for the caller. Here are the questions and the answers the Hooters Girl gave:
Howard started off the morning talking about the game of dodge ball that he played when he was in school. Gary had been in talking to him about the game so all of the guys described to Robin what the game was all about. Gary had seen a show where there was a debate about getting rid of competitive games like dodge ball from school. It's usually the geeky, skinny kids who get hit with the ball the most. Gary said the worst enabler of the game was usually the teacher. KC loves the game because he was usually the guy slamming the other kids with the ball.
Gary and Adam told Howard about these different squads they had in gym class. Adam had the Donkey Squad where if you screwed up you were sent to this squad to be humiliated. Gary told Howard about the Goo Goo Squad. He said if you forgot your socks or something like that you were sent down to the Goo Goo Squad. There were also weird rules about drinking water back then. For some reason they used to think water was bad for the kids so they'd give them salt tablets.
Howard took a few phone calls about the subject too. One guy said he was one of the rare ''geeks who won'' the game. He said he only hit two guys in the game but one of them was the last guy on the other team. Howard said he doesn't remember ever being able to do that himself.
A woman called in to tell Howard how beautiful his girlfriend Beth is. She said she thinks that Beth is much more beautiful than Pamela Anderson. Howard said he thinks the same thing but he can't say that on his show because his fans will think that he's just saying that because it's his girlfriend. The woman was so nice to him that he decided to give her one of the $500 prizes he had courtesy of ''40 Days and 40 Nights.''
Howard said he got a note from Ron Zimmerman (who is writing the new TV show ''Kane'' that Howard is producing for CBS) who said that Adam Carolla used to be a handyman. Ron told Howard that Adam built a fence for him about 8 years ago. Adam said he was a general contractor for about 13 years before he got into show business. Adam ended up telling Howard about how Ron had a car decked out like the Batmobile at his house. Adam said that Ron is a ''weird man'' after talking about the Batmobile thing. He said that Ron's house was pretty scary too. He said he's got all kinds of comic book stuff around his house. Howard wanted to get Ron on the phone to talk about all of this but he wasn't answering his phone.
Adam said he still builds stuff in his wood shop. Howard was goofing on him about that but Adam turned it around on him and pointed out that he might have his own wood shop but Howard has Green Lantern comic books all over his house.
Howard killed some time talking about a bunch of other stuff. He mentioned that the FX Network web site has a ''Son of the Beach'' section where you can download a ''Dancing BJ'' screen saver that he thinks is pretty cool.
Howard also brought up Russell Crowe who apparently threw some TV producer up against a wall over in England because he cut out part of his award acceptance speech. He read a poem or something and got pissed when they cut it out of the TV broadcast. Howard then played tape of some Russell Crowe fans being interviewed at one of his band's performances. They asked the women at the performance if they knew the names of some of his songs and any of the other members of the band. Most of the interviewed women didn't know much about the band other than the fact that Russell is in it.
Howard claims that the people at CBS TV's ''Big Brother'' have asked him in the past to make a guest appearance on the show to surprise the contestants in the game. Howard said he won't do it unless they pay him big bucks and that won't happen. Then he read in the paper that Kathie Lee Gifford has also been asked to appear on the show. Howard said if they both went on together, he'd do it without the payday. He'd do it just to torture Kathie Lee. He said he'd have to demand that they be in the house for a month together though. Plus, they'd have to be alone, just the two of them. Howard said that it would be great.
On yesterday's show Howard and the gang were talking about the accusations against this guy R. Kelly who may have had sex with underage girls. Howard got an e-mail that gave him the age of consent in other countries. He read through a few of them...
Howard was really annoyed but he sent Fred off to the sound-proof booth and played the game once again. Howard told Cal that he's a sore loser but he's going to enjoy watching Fred beat his ass in this game. Here are the questions and correct answers:
Ron Zimmerman was also on the phone so Howard spent a few minutes talking to him about the stuff they were talking about earlier in the show. Ron said he did have one car that might have had some Batmobile-like stuff on it. Adam also said that Ron had a lot of comic book figurines around his house. Ron said he doesn't remember exactly what he had in his house back then but he might have had a couple. Adam joked that he tripped over 5 hooker corpses when he walked into Ron's house.
Howard went on to talk about how strange Ron is. Howard said that he's constantly annoying him with script rewrites for this new show ''Kane.'' He also said that Ron just vanished from Las Vegas one night. He left a note with an explanation under Sam Simon's hotel room door.
Howard also told everyone how awkward Ron is around women. Howard said he tried to hook him up with some women but Ron would just wander away for some reason. Howard said Ron once sent him a note saying that he has to meet Marissa Tomei because she's so hot. He once saw her hiking out in L.A. and said her ass was perfect.
Howard congratulated Ron on ''Kane'' and said if the show ever wins an Emmy he's going to let Ron accept it. Howard thinks he still won't get any women even after winning an Emmy. Howard said Ron just doesn't know how to loosen up around women. He brought the ''Kane'' script to Vegas to work on it with Howard but Howard was there to party, not work.
After Ron Howard pretended that he had this girl on the phone that he had to talk to. What really happened was he replayed the retarded girl phone call that they got late in the show yesterday. Here's how it went...A 21 year old retarded woman (Wendy) called in to talk to Howard for a few minutes. Howard and Adam ended up asking her a bunch of inappropriate questions about her hygiene and sex life. They found out that she doesn't use tampons but she's on birth control. They also found out that she's a fan of N' Sync and The Dixie Chicks. She also told them that she weighs 182 pounds. Howard and Adam ended up goofing around with her for about 20 minutes. At one point Howard asked her if her underwear was stained and she said ''yes.'' Howard decided to give her one of the $500 prizes he had to give away before he got off the phone with her. He also wanted to give her the trip to New York so she could sit next to Gary at the premiere of ''40 Days and 40 Nights.'' They're the ones who gave Howard all of the prizes to give away this week.
Howard said that Wendy is going to be coming on the show sometime in the near future.
Howard also brought up his New Years Eve party that Gilbert attended. Howard said his agent, Don Buchwald, asked him if he's ever had a personal conversation with Gilbert. Howard said it's not easy to do because Gilbert is a different person out of the spotlight. Howard brought up the story of when Gilbert was in the hospital and he went to visit him. Gilbert was all depressed and saying that he was going to get out of show business. Howard said that his agent went up to Gilbert at his New Years Eve party and asked him if he wanted anything to drink. Gilbert told him to get him a glass of wine. Gary said he was also there talking to Gilbert at that time and Don just looked at him with a look on his face like ''What should I do?'' Don then went over, waited in line and got Gilbert his glass of wine.
Artie Lange said he introduced his girlfriend to Gilbert at the party and Gilbert never even bothered to introduce his girlfriend to anyone. He said Gilbert's girlfriend just sat there with her head down like one of Snoop Dogg's bitches. Artie joked that he saw Gilbert beating her with his sneaker in the bathroom.
This attorney Charles called in and said that he is representing Al Goldstein of ''Screw'' magazine in some kind of harassment case. Howard filled us in on the story and how Al apparently went nuts in court and harassed the judge and got thrown into jail. For some reason Al's lawyer called in ''Grandpa'' Al Lewis to be a character witness in the case and Gilbert was also asked to go. Howard said that Gilbert and ''Grandpa'' Al go to Al Goldstein's Sunday brunches together so they know Al Goldstein pretty well. Gilbert didn't show up so Charles says that Al has threatened to superimpose Gilbert's face on someone screwing bin Laden. Howard said he thought that it would be great if Gilbert showed up at court dressed as Dracula to testify. Gilbert did a whole bit where he was testifying as Dracula and it had everyone cracking up.
After taking a break Howard came back and had a woman on the phone claiming that she is Olympic medalist Sarah Hughes' aunt. She just wanted to let Howard now that she heard Howard talking about her possibly getting a nose job. She said that Sarah has never had a nose job. The funniest thing was when Howard told her she was on the air. She would just say ''okay'' and nothing else. Howard ended up doing it about 5 times as a goof. He eventually got her story out but all of the guys kept goofing on her. She kept telling them not to make fun of her but they kept doing it. Howard got her to hang up on him. He asked her just how well she knows Sarah and asked if she's had sex yet. That was the end of the call.
Scott also mentioned that Benjamin Bratt and Jaime Lynn Seigler have had nose jobs. Joan Rivers recently had teeth implants according to Scott. Howard said she does look odd now.
That was about all Scott had to reveal today. He said he'd be keeping his eye on the celebrities to report back to Howard. Howard ended up giving Scott one of the $500 prizes he's been giving away all this week.
Howard played some voice mails that they've gotten on the show lately. He's played most of them before but they got some more material out of them today.
Howard played a Daniel Carver KKK message to wrap up Black History Month. Daniel was worse than ever using the ''N-word'' more than he usually does as he complained about Black History Month.
Howard spent a short time talking about the new season of ''Survivor'' which starts tonight. He said he'll watch it even though there are people saying that there's no buzz around this season and it might be its last. Howard is still into the show even more than he's into ''Fear Factor'' now.
Howard and the gang played some clips from last night's Grammy Awards and talked about the weird things that went on during the show. They goofed on a bunch of the celebrities that read their lines so poorly during the event. Howard did have good things to say about Train's performance of ''Drops of Jupiter.'' Howard said they were great when they played ''Ramble On'' on his show a few months ago. He ended up playing a clip of that performance and playing a bad air guitar to it.
Robin picked U2 and Bob Dylan as the worst performers of the night. Howard played clips of both of their performances and said U2's song was a derge that just went on and on. Bob Dylan's performance was also hard to listen to because it was so bad. Howard goofed on that for a short time while Fred played some clips of a homeless guy that sounded kind of like Dylan.
Howard also played clips of Billy Joel and Tony Bennett singing together. He played Alicia Keys and a few other quick clips of other performers that he didn't like.
Howard took a break and when he came back he killed some more time taking some phone calls. One guy said he saw Gary on the train the other day eating a big black and white cookie. He said it was quite a sight. Howard said it is fascinating to watch Gary eat. He saw him eating shrimp on the flight out to Las Vegas a couple weeks ago and it was amazing to watch.
Howard thought it was strange that the last P. Diddy song that was released didn't become a big hit. He played the song for Robin and ended up singing some of it for her. Robin didn't seem to think it was all that great so she wasn't surprised that it wasn't a big hit.
Howard said he recorded and watched the Julia Louis Dreyfus TV show ''Watching Ellie'' the other day. He said it might be one of the worst TV shows he's ever seen. It got big ratings but Howard said he thinks the ratings will have a big drop off next week.
Howard had tape of Tommy Lee being interviewed on ''Access Hollywood'' talking about this lawsuit that's been filed against him by the family of a child that drowned in his pool. At one point Tommy talks about how he had a service to ''cleanse'' his pool and bless the new water in the pool. Howard thought that was kind of strange.
Howard spent a short time discussing this FOX TV show that's coming up where celebrities will box each other. Tonya Harding and Amy Fisher will go at it as well as Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams. Howard said he thinks that Tonya will beat Amy Fisher's ass in the fight. Artie said he'd try to get a bet in on the fight and everyone is ready to go in on it.
A listener called in with a game for Howard to play for Black History Month. He had different inventions and Howard had to guess if it was a black man or a white man who invented it. Here are a few of them:
Howard had Gary bring Debbie in to ask her if they could weigh her. Howard wanted to come up with a code word for the audience that would mean that she's not that good looking. Everything he was saying was heard by Debbie though.
When Debbie came in Howard said she was ''really, really'' nice looking which was the code he came up with for a dog. Howard said he was just kidding but then went on to badmouth the outfit she was wearing. Howard had her untuck her shirt so her hips wouldn't look so big. Howard said she just dressed wrong even though she claims she's thin. Howard had her put on a sport jacket to give her a better look. He made her roll up her sleeves and button one of the buttons. Stuttering John said she looked ''really, really good'' ... again with the code words.
Debbie wanted Howard to tell everyone that she's not fat because he was making it sound that way. Howard said she looked fine and asked her to get into a bikini. There's no way that's happening though. She said she wouldn't do it for any amount of money and she wouldn't do it for her web site.
Gary told Howard that Debbie has some balls because she bad mouths people all the time in her column and she's not afraid of anyone. She told Howard about a few people she writes about who seem to be supporting terrorist networks.
Howard changed the subject and asked Debbie if she every lightens up. She said she has lots of fun. She likes watching sports as a hobby and she does a lot of running and working out in her spare time. Howard tried to get more info about her personal life but it didn't take long before she was back to talking about news stories. Howard eventually got back to her personal life but she really didn't want to talk about it. He said she must play with herself while watching CNN. She said ''that's gross'' and didn't want to talk about masturbation or sex at all. She did say that she wants to marry a Jewish guy eventually. Howard asked her if she'd go out with Artie. She quickly said ''no'' to that question. Gary asked her if she's ever even had sex and she wouldn't answer that either. She didn't want to discuss her age either. She said there are certain things that she just doesn't think should be discussed on the air. She said she's not a prude and she's not uptight but that didn't go over that well.
Debbie said that she gets more e-mail from Howard's listeners than she ever gets from any other media outlet she's appeared on. Some of the guys think that should encourage her to give something back to the fans and fill them in on her sex life.
Debbie said that she's an attorney as well as a journalist but that was another thing she didn't want to discuss very much. Gary found that to be a turn on for some reason. She was willing to discuss other cases like the Jayson Williams case. She thinks that they should throw the book at him if they find him guilty.
Chaunce Hayden called in to confirm Debbie's age. They eventually got it out of her and found out that she's 32. Chaunce had info saying that she graduated college in 1990 so she had to be at least 33 or older. She finally broke down and admitted her age after all of that came out.
Howard took a bunch of other phone calls and took a break before doing the news. Howard kept Debbie around so she could comment on the news stories Robin was reporting on. You can check out Debbie's web site at TownHall.com.
Porn star Brittany Andrews came in to promote her Foot Gang Bang movie that Howard said he saw. He said when he saw it he almost threw up because it was disgusting to him. She hung out for a while and Howard talked about how disturbing her movie was. You can find out more about the movie at ExquisiteFeet.com
Mark Burnett, the producer of ''Survivor'' called in to promote the show late in the morning. He and Howard spent a few minutes discussing the show and what the new season is going to be like. Howard came upon something interesting when he asked Mark if he's married and Mark went silent. Mark told Howard to stop busting his balls about the subject after Howard spent about 2 seconds on it. Mark didn't want to discuss his marriage or his failing marriage for some reason. Howard figured he must be going through a divorce and it's making him nuts. Howard ended the interview shortly after that interesting subject.
A listener called in and told Howard that Dennis Miller is out for Monday Night Football and John Madden is in. Howard said he thinks that Al Michaels stopped coming on the show because he wouldn't have been able to defend Miller on the show. The phone caller also brought up how David Letterman says he's thinking of moving his show from CBS to ABC. If that happens Howard seems to think that he'd be in line to take over for him on CBS. Howard said he's not sure if he'd want to do that. He said if they offered him $20 million he'd do it. Then he started talking about how he'd have to tone down his show so he could get great guests. Artie and Robin convinced him that he's a better interviewer than Leno or Letterman so they'd tune in to watch. Howard said he'd have 2 guests on and maybe do some news with Robin at the start of the show. He'd throw in some farts and queefs too.
Howard's girlfriend is in ''FHM'' magazine this month and Howard said he thought it was coming out March 16th. Benjy said that he bought the issue on the newsstand yesterday but no one believed him. Howard thought he was doing a bit and said he'd be pissed if that's what it was. Stuttering John is really excited and said that he can't wait to see the magazine. He said he woke up, realized it was March 1st and hoped that the magazine would be out. Benjy described some of the stuff that's in there and it sounds like he does know what's in there.
Everyone spent a few minutes talking about last night's season premiere of ''Survivor Marquesas.'' Howard said the first guy kicked off the show won't be coming on his show.
The ''FHM'' discussion wouldn't die. Everyone wanted to talk about that. Jessica Hahn and Dominic Barbara both called in to talk about it. Jessica said she's going to get a copy so she can give her review. Gary was surprised that ''FHM'' didn't send him an advance copy like they usually do. Howard had Gary get Beth on the phone so he could tell her that the magazine is out. Beth said she thought it wasn't coming out until March 12th. She doesn't even have a copy of it yet. When Howard told her that Benjy was describing the photos to him she said she wished that she'd never done the shoot. She said it's embarrassing to her. Ronnie the Limo Driver called in and said that Benjy is in some building that's supposed to be where he lives and he was taking forever to come back. Howard said if he's doing a bit he's going to fire him. Benjy got on the phone and described what's in the magazine and it sounded right to Beth. He wasn't able to find it though so he couldn't bring it with him. Howard still thinks that he's lying about something. A guy who delivers magazines said that Benjy is lying because he hasn't seen anything in the warehouse yet. The guy said his theory is that Benjy probably got the advance copy and stole it. He probably doesn't want anyone to see that his copy says ''advance copy'' on it. Howard said if he did that he's going to have to fire him. Howard told Gary to do the firing. Howard said Benjy is a ''dick'' and sounded really pissed if that's what actually happened. Howard's office manager Anne Marie says that the mail goes through her so he couldn't have stolen it. A few minutes later Ronnie the Limo Driver called in and said that Benjy actually got it at the newsstand near the radio station and he was on his way back to the studio.
A caller told Howard that he got a copy 2 days ago and he wasn't too impressed with the cover shot. He said he liked the stuff inside but the cover was a ''weird angle'' shot.
Benjy showed up with the magazine and everyone agreed that the cover looked great. Beth kept sighing as Howard flipped through the pictures. Artie described her as a young, hotter looking Christie Brinkley. Everyone said she looks really hot but Gary said she was wearing a little too much in the pictures. He said in most of the shoots they show a little more breast. Howard said she's in a bikini and you can see her breast hanging out of one top. Gary agreed with the caller about her wearing too much makeup on the cover shot. Beth was really upset about what they were saying about her cover shot. The guys agreed that the shot on page 145 was one of their favorites.
Howard had to apologize to Benjy for accusing him of stealing a copy. Artie said Benjy was sweating like crazy and looked really bad after running around trying to find the magazine.
Beth came in to check out her ''FHM'' pictures. She looked through them with Howard and said that she was ready to go home. She said they didn't fix something in one of the pictures and she wasn't too happy about that. She said she was really shy at that point and she was ready to leave. Howard convinced her to stick around for a few minutes while he took some phone calls. Callers had mostly good things to say about her. She sounded like she was still pretty upset about what the caller said about her earlier in the show. That guy said that his secretary told him that she has a ''butter face'' until he showed her the pictures inside the magazine.
After taking a break Howard said that he had to console Beth during the break. He said she was overwhelmed by the whole thing and she was upset. Howard said he told her he loves her and he's there for her during this time. A woman called in and said she could hear the love in Howard's voice while he was talking to her earlier in the show. Howard said he had a whole agenda for the show until all of this came up.
Al came in and started accusing people of stuff that Howard wanted nothing to do with. Howard just wanted to talk about the harassment charges and how Al went crazy in court. Howard said that Al was pounding his feet and screaming at the D.A. in court and that couldn't have helped his case. Howard said he thinks he's crazy. Al even went as far as creating a picture of the judge giving oral sex to a Chinese man for his magazine.
Al rambled on and on about nonsense while Howard was trying to have a discussion with him. Al says that he might have to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy because of this case.
Howard also got Al to talk a little bit about his son who doesn't want anything to do with him anymore. Al said that his son doesn't want him even talking about having a son because he doesn't want the stigma of the whole ''Screw'' magazine thing following him around. Howard tried to give Al some advice on what to do about the relationship. Al listened to what he told him but who knows if he'll follow through.
Al faces 2 years in jail because of his conviction. Howard spent a few minutes asking Al about that and what he's going to do when he goes to court again. Al jokes about the stuff he wants to tell the judge. Howard tried to convince him not to go crazy again but it sounds like that's advice Al's not going to take.
Howard took some phone calls for Al and let some people yell at him. Dominic Barbara called in and said that Al will never go to jail because what he did is covered under the First Amendment. Howard didn't understand how that could be possible though because what Al did was tell people to harass this woman.
Al's lawyer, Charles, called in and spoke to Howard for a couple of minutes. Both of them don't seem to care about the possibility of Al going to jail for all of this. Howard wrapped things up and said he'll never understand Al. He gave him a plug for his web site ScrewMag.com and had him quickly check out the ''FHM'' magazine with his girlfriend in it. Al said something about her being wasted on Howard. A 10 year old kid called in to defend Al for some reason. He got a hold of a copy of ''Screw'' somehow and defended Al against some of the phone calls he was getting. Al was very uncomfortable with a 10 year old reading his magazine so he told the kid not to read it. Howard ended up giving the kid one of the $500 prizes he had courtesy of ''40 Days and 40 Nights.''
Monet Mazur who appears in ''40 Days and 40 Nights'' came in to talk to Howard and play the Mike Walker Gossip Game. Howard sounded very impressed with her when she came in. He told her that he was checking out pictures of her on the web last night and she looked really good in those. She wasn't nude though. She told Howard she would do a nude scene in a movie if it was appropriate.
Howard went through her life a little bit with some info he had on her. Her father is the graphic designer who came up with the Rolling Stones ''Sticky Fingers'' logo with the tongue and lips and only made $500 on it.
Howard found out she dated Dave Navarro for a while so they discussed that for a short time. Monet said that Dave was sober for a couple of years during their relationship but he eventually started doing drugs. She said he never tried to get her to do any of that stuff though. She said she has tried some drugs in her life but never with Dave.
Howard went through some of the other stuff he had in his notes before getting to the Gossip Game. He talked about how smart she was and about some of the other guys she's dated.
Howard moved on to Mike Walker's phone call so they could play the game. It took a while to get to the game because they had so much else to talk about. Howard tried to quiz Monet but she wanted nothing to do with that so she didn't even try to answer any of the questions. Artie kept hitting on Monet trying to get a date but she said she doesn't know him enough to go out with him. Howard also asked for Monet's e-mail address so he could keep in touch. They ended up talking about America Online buddy lists and who they have on theirs. Howard said he only has his kids, his childhood friend Dr. Lou and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos on his. He said Rebecca is never on though. He wants more famous people on there since he's a big star himself.
Howard eventually got back to the game so here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard spent a few more minutes with Monet talking to her about her career. Howard was so taken with her hotness that he couldn't concentrate on the Gossip Game. He usually gives a quick synopsis of the stories Mike reads but today he was clueless.
After wrapping up the interview and taking a break they were still talking about how hot she was. Artie said that she might have been the hottest girl he's seen in the studio... forgetting that Beth had been in earlier. Stuttering John told Howard he could probably get her if he wanted to. Howard didn't think so but she did say she was into him. John also said that he could see through her shirt and he doesn't think that she was wearing a bra. He said she caught him looking at her at one point.