Howard spent a little bit of time talking about Tiger Woods and how white people don't want to admit that he's the best Golfer ever. He had an article where people were asked about Tiger and how good he is. Black people are willing to admit that he's great but white people seem to push it off and say that he hasn't proven himself.. yet. This led to a discussion about the people who show up to golf tournaments and follow the golfers around. Howard was trying to figure out how they make money with those audiences. He and the rest of the crew spent a few minutes trying to figure all of that out.
Howard said that he spent some time with his daughter Ashley over the weekend and they rented a couple of movies to watch. He said one of the movies was an Olsen twins movie which he wasn't able to remember the name of. It's called ''You're Invited to Mary-Kate & Ashley's School Dance Party''. He said that it was one where the twins go to school. He said that at age 13 those two are really hot looking. He said he doesn't look at them sexually but knows that they're going to be really hot when they get older. He and his daughter watched the movie and when it was done, they watched it again. Howard said both of them really enjoyed watching it.. for different reasons of course. After talking about that Howard said that he should put out videos like they do. He thinks that his fans would buy tapes of him just going out and doing stuff. Instead of ''The Olsen Twins go to School'' it would be ''Howard Stern Goes To Malibu'' and hangs out with Carmen Electra. Don't hold your breath waiting for that to come out.
Howard also quickly brought up a bunch of different news stories which caught his attention. He talked about Michael Jackson and how he returned a watch to a jeweler which was all beat up and covered in goo. He also brought up how Spike Lee has nothing better to do than to complain about the movie ''The Patriot'' and how they portray blacks in it.
A listener called in and asked Howard what he had to do to get his album played on the air. Howard told the guy that he'd let him play it for nothing because he knew that it would suck. He let the guy play it over the phone and it was just as bad as Howard predicted. Howard has dealt with people like this in the past and the outcome is always the same. Their bands are never as good as they think they are. Howard said that if he had any real talent he wouldn't have to beg to have his song played on the air.
Howard mentioned that all of the movies he watched over the weekend really sucked. He watched ''The World Is Not Enough'' and that blew. He said he made it through about half of it before shutting it off. He also watched Freddie Prinze Jr.'s new DVD ''Down to You'' and that sucked as well. He tried to watch the retard movie ''The Other Sister'' and only made it though about 15 minutes of it before giving up on it. He actually bought the DVD's of James Bond and the Freddie Prinze movie and said he'd have to throw them out. Jackie offered to pay for them but Howard said he'd give him a break and just give them up for free because they're really bad. Robin said she watched the ''Jaws 25th Anniversary Edition'' and said that was great to see all of the behind-the-scenes stuff.
Howard tried to figure out where his marriage went wrong after a listener told him that he'd just broken up with his wife. Howard said that a lot of people think that his movie is what screwed up everything. Howard said that he's not even sure what the cause was. Another caller asked Howard why he didn't bang Carmen Electra while he was out in Malibu a couple weeks back. Howard said ''How do you know I didn't?''. He said that his marriage break up means that he might have to keep some things quiet to protect his kids. He didn't say that he banged her but he did hint around that there might be some stuff going on in his life that he just won't talk about because of his kids.
Howard also told a story about how some women on the set of ''Son of the Beach'' actually turned down the opportunity to kiss actor Tim Stack. He said that in one of the scenes they were shooting Tim was supposed to kiss a woman. It was his choice to pick a woman so he made a choice. The director asked the woman and she said ''No!'' Tim then tried another woman and she demanded $100 to do the scene. Tim told Howard and Howard told him that he's really not that bad looking.. or is he?
After ''Basic Instinct'' Sharon Stone went around claiming that she didn't know that the crotch shot was going to be shot the way it was. She claimed to be oblivious to the fact that her crotch was going to be shown the way it was. Joe told Howard that there were people ''in her crotch'' setting up lighting and make-up so there's no way she didn't know about it. Movies scenes are very calculated and it had to have been obvious to her.
Howard also asked Joe about some stuff he says about President Clinton in his book. Joe claims that after reading the Starr report he found out that Clinton and Monica Lewinsky did some ''Analingus''. He said that it appears that Monica may have put her tongue where the sun don't shine.
Howard was picking out some of the more interesting parts of the book and pointed out one part where Joe claims that Richard Gere got totally naked in front of him while changing for a shoot. Joe says he doesn't know why he did it but it didn't get strange. Howard also said that Joe wrote a story about Farrah Fawcett taking a crap on the lawn at a party he was at. He said the bathroom was very crowded and she had to go outside to ''poop'' on the lawn. He said there were a lot of people who witnessed it but he didn't get to see it up close. Howard was fascinated with this story and said that he could write a whole book about something like that. Joe, on the other hand, didn't really want to discuss it any more than he had in the book.
Joe also talks about his crazy mother in his book. Joe claims that she was schizophrenic and had some problems.
Howard took a couple of wacky calls for Joe but they didn't make any sense. Howard then wrapped up the interview.
Howard also spent some time talking about what a phony Barbara Walters is for deciding to keep OJ Simpson off of her show ''The View''. He played tape of her talking about how the people on the show decided it was better not to have him on even after he was booked to appear. He said that she had to have had some say in the booking in the first place so she's a phony.
Howard told a story about how he'd hung out with Sarah Jessica Parker at a ''Sex and the City'' party one time. He was saying how he spent some time talking to her and admiring her amazing body. He then said that Cane, a DJ on his station, had recently shot a part in the HBO series where he got to kiss Sarah. Cane soon called in and told Howard how he auditioned for the part as a goof and actually got it. He plays a loser comic book store owner who Sarah's character falls for. He said he got to make out with her in the scene and they did about 25 takes. He said their tongues touched a couple of times but it wasn't a real tongue kiss. He said they didn't talk much during the shoot and he didn't feel that she was having any feelings toward him. He didn't get to feel her up because the scene called for him to try and get her bra off but it doesn't happen. Howard has said on the air in the past that Cane is a really good looking guy and he repeated that again today. He also reminded everyone that he has a couple of shows on VH-1. Cane is a VJ over there and appears on 2 different shows. His ''Sex and the City'' premiere happens on September 24.
Stuttering John waddled in to talk about how he almost killed someone while playing a game of golf recently. John's 'roids were acting up again this morning after having some loose movements this morning. John, Jackie and 2 guys from E! went to golf. John was teamed up with one of the E! guys and by the end of the game he was so pissed off that he had to leave the group before he killed someone. John had lost one of his clubs during the game and at one point he yelled something to one of the other guys and screwed up his teammate. That's when they got pissed off at each other. By the end of it John was ready to leave. He decided not to go drink with the rest of the crew and walked off.
Howard announced that Tim Russ who plays the black Vulcan Tuvok on the ''Star Trek: Voyager'' TV shows has agreed to do a ''Battle of the Bands'' against his ''The Losers'' sometime in the near future. Howard hasn't chosen a song yet but is thinking of doing ''Spirit in the Sky''. Yikes!
The big story was that someone discovered that Will was in the new Black Panther Party for Self-Defense before he went in to the house and his other name is Hiram Ashantee. It was a big deal when it came out in the news but Will doesn't find it that big of a deal. He claims that he didn't hide that fact but he didn't exactly tell anyone either. Howard asked Will if he hates white people or the Jews. Will said that he doesn't hate white people or the Jews. He said that the Black Panthers love themselves and righteous people.
Howard asked him if he thinks OJ is guilty or not. Will said that he thinks OJ is a white man with a nice tan. Howard also asked Will what he thinks of Bryant Gumbel. Will thinks that he's okay after being interviewed by him yesterday. Howard asked Will if he thinks Sinbad is black. Will said that Sinbad is black as well as Bryant Gumbel. The only black guy he doesn't think is black is OJ.
After seeing Will massage the white Jordan on the TV show Khalid Abdul Muhammad said that isn't the Hiram he knows. He wouldn't have touched ''the Devil'' white woman. Will is very quiet about his whole Black Panther Party association. He tells everyone that it's ''party information'' when he's asked questions about it. He also pointed out that he's not the worst of the bunch in the house because George actually killed someone in a hunting accident. Will said that it's called an accident when a white guy kills someone like that but if it was a black guy it would have been murder.
Howard asked Will if he's had any movie or TV show offers since he's left the house. Will said he's had offers but not for movies. He said he has to find something to make money because he was counting on the $500,000 ''Big Brother'' prize. He told Howard that he was a Youth Counselor before he went in to the ''Big Brother'' house.
Howard took some phone calls for Will and one of them was Big Black. Big Black had tape of Bryant Gumbel playing tape of Khalid Abdul Muhammad yelling about Will rubbing down the ''white devil'' herself on ''Big Brother''. Most of the calls Howard took for Will were very angry white guys yelling at him. Will took them all on and goofed on them right back. He handled it pretty well actually. You can find out more about what Will is up to at WillMega.com
Howard kept asking him if he's really straight. Elliott said that he was married 3 times and divorced 3 times. He also claims that he hasn't had sexual relations since his last divorce.. in 1988! He claims that he masturbates every day instead. He said he's been very busy since then and hasn't had any relationships.
Elliott eventually got to the point of his appearance and said that he's selling a 39 page composition called ''Optimum Health'' in which he apparently tells you what to eat and how to stay healthy. If you want your own copy you can mail $10 plus $3 postage and handling to:
Elliott Offfen
7211 Austin St.
Suite 281
Forrest Hills, NY 11375
High Pitch Erik lives near the area that Elliott runs in and he's upset with the guy. Howard had him come in to talk about his problem. When Erik finally got to talk he just blurted out that Elliott is a ''faggot''. He said he doesn't like this guy running around in women's lingerie around his neighborhood and he let him know in his Mickey Mouse sounding voice. He even said that he and ''his boys'' were going to be at Elliott's building later today to take care of him. Howard told Erik he's got some nerve calling someone a ''faggot'' when his sexuality is also very questionable. Elliott yelled right back at Erik and didn't think much of it. Howard had Elliott leave slowly so he could check out his ass. Howard said you have to see how odd this guy looks when it airs on the E! show.
After taking a break Howard had High Pitch Erik come back in because he had a phony phone call that was made to him. This guy who does phony phone calls made one to Erik where he pretended to be a porn producer. He asked Erik a bunch of questions about doing a porno where some guys would do stuff to him. Erik agreed to do some of the stuff like letting a guy ''finish'' on his face as well as taking it up the rear. Erik still says he's not gay but Gary came in and said that if he was really straight he would have turned down those offers without even thinking twice. His sexuality is still in question.
Today he spent most of the segment talking about how he was able to get in to Reagan's house and how he was caught. Jesus thinks that Reagan is the devil because he lives at 666 Bel Air Road and his three names, Ronald Wilson Reagan, are each 6 letters.. once again 666. He's got other things that he thinks mean that Reagan is the devil but he didn't get to them today. He said that he was able to pretty much walk right in to Reagan's house because there wasn't much security there at the time. The Secret Service caught him and he was sentenced to 2 years in jail. He then spent some time in a mental hospital.
Jesus was pretty mellow today but that's only because he's on medication to keep him calm. Gary said that he almost cracked earlier in the morning but the meds must have kicked in and kept him calm. Jesus said that if he had been able to get to Reagan he would have strangled him but he also said that he was doing it as a publicity stunt. He told Howard that he'd read Timothy Leary's book which said that the best way to be famous was to kill a celebrity. So that was his plan. He said you have more power talking to Barbara Walters from jail than you do walking around as a nobody.
Jesus was in to talk about how his art work will be on display at some art gallery in New York City at 702 9th Ave. He didn't say when or how long it'll be there but you might be able to find out at his web site LightOfTheWorld.com
Howard had a complaint about Scott DePace from E! this morning. He said he walked in this morning and Scott was playing this new ''Ultracade'' video game system that they have in their green room.It has like 1000 video games in it. It's there for guests to play while they wait and the employees are not supposed to play it. Scott claimed that he was adjusting the sound for when they're shooting footage in there but Howard said he was deep into the game he was playing. Howard just told him that he shouldn't be playing it anymore. Howard said that Gary told him that the black guys who were on the show yesterday were kept busy by the game system. Howard said that the way Gary said it made it seem like he was making a racist comment but Gary claims he didn't say it the way Howard thinks he heard it.
Howard is invited to this big party out in the Hamptons this week and he was trying to decide whether or not to go. The party is being thrown by this guy Ted Fields who produces movies and stuff. Howard and the rest of the gang were trying to figure out what the guy did to make his fortune but they were unable to come up with an answer. Howard said that he read that this chick from the ''X-Men'' movie, Famke Janssen, will be there. He said that she's single now and he might want to hang with her. He may fly out by helicopter if he can arrange that. Howard wants to get Ted Fields on the show so he can find out about how he made his money.
JACKIE HAS GRAY PUBIC HAIR! Howard said that Jackie told him yesterday that he has just noticed that his pubic hair has gone all gray. Howard said that must be depressing. Jackie doesn't seem to mind too much though. He said he's not going to do anything about it. This led to a whole discussion about hair. Gary said he's noticed some gray hairs on the sides of his head but he doesn't think his pubes will ever go gray. 32 year old Stuttering John also has some gray hairs coming in up top. Howard said that he's got like 4 gray hairs on his head but that's it. He said that he's had dark hair all along and hasn't dyed it. Gary said a lot of people don't believe that but he swears it's true. He said his imitators claim that he wears a wig but he doesn't. He said his grandfather had jet black hair until he was 90 or so and he must have inherited it. Howard asked Jackie to show him his gray pubes but he refused. Howard couldn't believe he wouldn't show him because he's done much worse stuff in the past. Jackie never cracked so Howard thinks he must be really embarrassed by the gray hair.
It turns out that Cabbie has a crush on intern Leah and Howard heard that he's been putting his face between her breasts. He denied it when Howard asked him about it though. Gary told Howard he sees Cabbie as a ''large child'' who always needs talking to about the stuff he'd always doing wrong. A couple of interns came in and said that sometimes Cabbie goes over the line with what he does. They like him but he does do some odd stuff.
Scott ''Wassup'' Brooks called in to complain about Cabbie also. He told Howard that Cabbie e-mailed his girlfriend and it looked like he was trying to pick her up. Howard thought that was wrong until he heard that Scott's girl is Miss Bunny from MissBunny.com, a porn site. Howard told Scott that it's ''open season'' on someone like that. Cabbie said that she e-mailed him (CrazyCab@hotmail.com) the password to her site so he could check out her nude pictures and he e-mailed her back some sex talk stuff.
Howard invited Scott to the ''Son of the Beach'' party tonight because he wants to hang out and do the ''Wassup'' thing all night.
Howard heard that Mr. T's cancer was faked to avoid his creditors who wanted his money. Mr. T said that was a bunch of bull and he has been fighting this T-Cell Lymphoma for 5 years now. He says he's still battling it to this day. Mr. T said that they talked about this the last time he was on and it was over with. Howard was goofing around with Mr. T and T was saying how all of Howard's show is a goof. He said he knows what Howard is up to and even said that he thinks Howard's separation is phony. Howard couldn't convince him that it wasn't a fake.
During the conversation Mr. T had mentioned his mother a couple of times and said that he has always wanted to buy her a house since he was a kid. At one point Howard was trying to question Mr. T about his 83 year old mother but something went wrong. For some reason Mr. T got really upset about the questioning and he went silent for about 3 minutes. He stared at Howard for the whole time and it got so uncomfortable in the studio that Robin almost walked out. Howard tried to get him to talk but he just sat there silent staring down the frightened Howard. Mr. T just wanted to get off that subject but Howard wanted to know more. He'd asked him if his mother was dating anyone and that's when it all went wrong. Howard later said he thinks Mr. T was upset about more than just that line of questioning. It was Gary who came to the rescue. He'd missed the questions but came in to try and iron things out. He eventually got Mr. T to talk by asking him what he's been up to lately. That's when he broke his dead silence and did a little bit of promotion for the TVLand.com thing. He said they're looking for the Ultimate TV fan and he's the ''cyber host'' of the site.
Howard then got Mr. T loosened up again and he was right back to yelling and sweating again. Howard took some goofy phone calls for him and the mood was lightened once again. Mr. T thought that all of the calls were set up but Stuttering John came in and told him that they're real callers. Howard almost got himself in trouble again when he turned things around and started talking about his own mother. He was telling Mr. T not to talk about his mother but then said that he could sleep with his mother if he really wanted to. Mr. T went silent again. It wasn't for long though. He told Howard that he wasn't mad, he just wanted to get off of that subject. He said that if he was pissed Howard would know it because he'd hop over the desk and kick his ass. Howard said that he'd just have to shoot him. T got pissed that Howard threatened him but Howard quickly calmed him down. He stuck around for a little while longer and yelled at some callers who were goofing on him.
This had to be one of the most bizarre interviews in quite a while. Howard and Robin later said that they were both freaked out by the whole thing. Howard said there's nothing like having Mr. T staring you down. He said he felt like a deer being started down by a tiger that was about to pounce.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about how bad the new Michael Richards show looks. He read that Tim Meadows, the black guy from Saturday Night Live, is leaving SNL to do the revamped Michael Richards show. Howard doesn't think it'll last more than two weeks. He remembered the time that he had Richards on the show and how odd that guy was when he was on.
Howard and the crew also spent some time talking about Mr. T's appearance on the show yesterday. Howard was trying to figure out how long Mr. T actually stared at him without saying a word. Gary timed it and came in a little later to give the official time of 2 minutes 49 seconds. Howard thought that it was more like a minute and a half or so. The whole thing was very uncomfortable for both him and Robin. Howard said that Ronnie the limo driver came in as security when Mr. T was getting pissed but Howard doesn't think he could have done much to save him. Ronnie said that his ''intimidation'' technique of standing in the room staring at Mr. T calmed him down. No one believes that. Howard also replayed the tape of the very strange interview.
Howard spent a short time talking about the big ''Son of the Beach'' party they all went to last night. Howard said a few words at the event to support the show. He also tried introducing a couple of Mets baseball players to Leila and Jaime but they weren't interested.
Howard reminded everyone about the story he told about Tim Stack recently. Basically Tim was supposed to kiss a chick in one of the episodes and a couple of women actually turned down the chance. Howard thought that was kind of strange for an actress to turn down a part like that. Tim took it well and is actually kind of proud of it.
Hank the Dwarf was in this morning with his own ''Son of the Beach'' script. He was a little drunk this morning but he was all cleaned up to impress everyone. A while back he told Howard he was going to write a script and today he got his chance to actually act out a couple of scenes with the stars of the show. The script is mostly about Hank having sex or watching other people have sex on the beach. Hank wants to have Liv Tyler as the woman he and Notch Johnson save in the show. She then falls in love with him and has sex with him on the beach. His girlfriend on the show, BJ Cummings, gets jealous and wants to have sex in front of Hank with Chip Rommel. It all revolved around Hank. Howard eventually ran out of time so we never really found out what the rest of the plot would have been. He had to move on to talk to Kevin Bacon. ''Son of the Beach'' is now on at 10pm instead of 10:30. Check out HankTheDwarf.com for info on his upcoming appearances.
Howard told Kevin that he's really looking forward to ''Hollow Man'' after seeing some of the trailers for the movie. Howard hasn't seen the whole movie yet. He could have seen it last night but he had the ''Son of the Beach'' party thing. He and Robin will most likely see the movie tomorrow.
Howard also asked Kevin about the movie ''My Dog Skip'' which was out last year. Howard has heard that it's very traumatizing to younger kids so he wanted to know why. Kevin said that the dog eventually dies in the movie but it's not that traumatizing. Gary came in and said that his son has been watching it a lot but there is one scene where the dog gets whacked in the head with a shovel and that is kind of disturbing. Kevin said that he cried when he saw the first screening of the movie because his own dog had just died shortly before. He said he was bawling his eyes out during the screening.
Howard got back on the subject of ''Hollow Man'' and asked Kevin about some of it. Kevin is hoping that this will be a big hit otherwise he might end up making guest appearances on ''Son of the Beach''. Kevin explained that he actually worked very hard on this movie even though he's invisible through most of it. He told Howard he had to be covered in green-screen stuff so that in post production they could remove him from the scenes. He said that he also had to be digitally scanned so that they could build a computer image of his body to use in production. He said he had to get naked and be scanned by 3 lasers. He said that at one point they told him that they didn't have enough data to image his private parts. He said he had to spray his pubic hair a lighter color so the computer could pick up that area. Kevin says it was pretty embarrassing.
Howard thinks that director Paul Verhoeven, who directed ''Robocop'' and ''Starship Troopers'' probably did a good job on this film also. The movie opens next Friday, August 4.
Second, everyone on the show will be drinking and getting drunk during the show. He wants to do it then because the show will be taped at night for airing the next morning. He's been wanting to do a ''drinking show'' for a while now. He said he didn't want to get drunk in the morning and this will be the best time to do the drinking show. He wants to get some Margaritas from this Citrus bar that he's a big fan of. Robin said that she's only going to have a couple of drinks and she won't be getting smashed. Howard said she's probably worried about getting drunk and making out with Jackie or something. He said she'd probably wake up the next morning and her ass would hurt.
Finally, Howard is going to hold his own music awards for song parodies that people send in about each of the cast. You can start writing the song parodies now and send them in when you're done. You can find the address for the show on my Phone Book page.
The subject of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt getting married this weekend also came up. Howard thinks that both of them are just dopey. Robin reminded Howard when Courtney Cox was in she said that Pitt was an architect. Howard doesn't think that he's anything close to an architect and he's probably just dumb. Howard admits that he's dumb himself and people are always coming up to him telling him what a smart businessman he must be because of all the money he makes. Howard says that just because you make a lot of money doesn't mean you're that smart. He only got a total of about 1000 in his SAT tests. Howard said that Jackie is pretty smart. He got 1200 on his SATs. Jackie doesn't think he's that smart though.
Howard told Robin that Stuttering John showed him a video tape of a news cast where they showed a surfer getting attacked by a shark. He said it was very strange because the anchors treated it like it was entertainment instead of a tragedy.
Howard didn't even have to hear the third guy's story but he let him tell it anyway. Number 3, Reggie the black guy, told Howard that he's never had sex because he has a mole on his penis that scares women away. He said that he tried to cut the mole off but it grows back.
Surprisingly Howard and Robin were the only people to vote for number 2. Fred picked number 1 and Jackie went with number 3. Of course Howard and Robin were right as Danny stepped forward to reveal he was the real virgin. Reggie told Howard that he was actually married for a while but he hasn't gotten laid in a while. Tommy is also able to get laid. Danny continued to ramble on about his bicycle stuff and how he's trying to ride a million miles in his lifetime. He said he even rode 350 miles from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to come on the show. He still lives with his parents also. Howard thought that was a little odd although Reggie's wife actually took his porn collection and threw it away and that's like having parents living with you. That led to a discussion about how being married is just like going back to live with your parents. Howard and Gary shared stories about friends who's wives won't let them do stuff. They've actually been yelled at like little children when they try to do stuff.
Reggie actually offered to show the mole on his penis to Howard and the gang. He showed it and Howard was surprised how small his penis was. The stereotypical black penis was not in Reggie's pants.
Howard moved on to talk about Damon's brother's success with their ''Scary Movie'' hit. Damon said that he wasn't able to do the movie at the time and that he's not jealous of his brother's success. He said the movie is really funny and if they do a sequel he'll be in that. He kidded around with Howard saying that he felt like Tito Jackson when Michael had his hit ''Thriller''. Either that or he was like the Billy Baldwin of the family or the Eric Douglas. Howard said he was like Shemp.
The two of them also spoke about how Damon missed out on doing ''Jerry McGuire'' with Tom Cruise. He was too tall for the part and Cuba Gooding Jr. got the part instead. Damon said he didn't know what a hit it was going to be but he's not upset about missing out on the success.
Howard also brought up the fact that Damon was born with a club foot. Howard thought that meant that it was like a balled up foot. Damon told him it just meant that it was twisted. He said that the teasing he got as a child feeds his comedy material. Damon's shows are at 7 and 9:30 this Saturday at the John Harms Center for the Arts in New Jersey.
Howard also spent some time talking about how Todd has been on 8 different teams in the past 5 years. He just came over to the Mets this year with a $3.5 million contract.
Howard had Mike Walker on the phone ready to play the game. The newest thing they're doing is having the guest play for a prize of $1000 for a listener. If the guest gets the correct answer the caller wins the money courtesy of iWon.com. Howard had a listener by the name of Joe on the phone to play. Each week Mike Walker, author of ''Malicious Intent'', calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. Here are this week's stories:
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to Todd about his life as a New York Met. He asked Todd who's got the biggest penis on the Mets. Todd didn't name names but said that the stereotype about black guys having big penis' seems to be true.
Rosie told Howard that she always knew that he shouldn't be married. Howard asked her how she knew and she just said ''I just knew.'' She also told Howard that she knows how to please a man better than he could imagine. Howard asked her if she ever cheated on Tom Arnold when she was married to him. There was dead silence for about 10 seconds. She said that she has cheated on all of her husbands except Ben.. in her mind. Howard wanted Roseanne to show him how she can please a man so well. He ended up going over to the couch and getting on her lap. She then started sweet talking him in a very low, sensuous voice. She rubbed his leg and looked into his eyes as she spoke to him. Then he buried Howard's head in her chest. Howard said he didn't get aroused though. He was impressed with the way she spoke to him and said that it felt like she was mothering him. He said he might need something like that. He told Roseanne that when she pushed his head in her bosom he felt ''warm and safe''.
Howard asked Roseanne what she's eating now that she's losing weight. He heard that she was eating a chocolate bar and drinking coffee when she was out in the green room. She said she still eats crap, just less of it. That's how she's able to lose the weight.
Rosie's husband Ben called in at one point. Rosie told Howard that she had Ben sign a pre-nuptial agreement when they got married. She lost quite a bit to her last husband and she didn't want that to happen again. Roseanne and Ben have almost broken up a few times in the past few years. Rosie says that she always goes back to him though. They told Howard how they broke up this past New Year's Eve when Ben came home from a night out partying and woke Roseanne up. That pissed her off and she kicked him out. They got back together shortly after that though. Howard asked the two of them if they do anal. They didn't say yes but Ben said that he enjoys every bit of his woman.
Howard asked Ben about the oral sex thing and just how good Rosie really is. She was bragging earlier and Howard wanted to know if it was true. Ben said that on a scale of 1 to 10 he'd give her a 7 or 8. Robin let out a ''Oh no!'' because she knew that he'd made a mistake giving such a low number. Roseanne got pissed and said ''are you kidding?'' and that she might have to find another man to please who will give her a 10. He might just get kicked out of the house again for that.
The two of them are now working on the new web site where you can see some live cameras which are set up in their house. They also have some comedy stuff and an online talk show called ''Cyber Trash 2000''. Howard took some phone calls for Roseanne and most of them were people calling her fat. One woman asked Roseanne about her stomach operation and if it hurt. Rosie said that it was very painful because it was an operation. She told the caller that she should go for it if she's overweight. One caller said that the web site has some problems when he goes on. Rosie said that the official opening of the site isn't until August 20 so just hold on until then.