Howard brought up the pecking order for tabloid magazines. He said you know that you can believe some of what the National Enquirer says. Then there's The Star which you can only believe a couple of their stories. Then there's The Globe and you can't believe any of their stuff. He brought this up because last Friday Howard got a letter through his agent from The Globe. The letter basically said that if he didn't respond to the letter by that day they'd print this story. The story was something about how Howard is so afraid of his girlfriends cheating that he gives them a ''Sex Test'' where he sets them up with friends of his to see if they'll cheat on him. The story says that the girlfriends who want to be actors will be set up with a friend posing as a movie producer and the girlfriends that want to be singers will be set up with a friend posing as a music producer. Howard doesn't get how they can come up with stories like this without fact checking first. Howard said that he spoke to his buddy Ratso's girlfriend, who works for The Globe, and told her that the story is completely false and she relayed the message back to the rag. Howard said that he always believed that there was some truth to tabloid stories but this one was just completely false. Robin said you have to see the same story in two tabloids before you can believe it.
Gary came in with an update on the whole George W. Bush abortion story that they spoke about with Larry Flynt last week. He said the minute Howard left on Friday he got a page from Bush's people. Gary explained to the woman what he was calling about and the woman's official quote was ''We do not respond to tabloid journalists.'' She was referring to Larry Flynt's story about Bush having a woman get an abortion back in the '70's. The story really hasn't even hit the mainstream news but Howard wants someone to ask Bush about this. Bush's drunk driving conviction was the thing that was all over the news last week instead of this whole abortion story.
Howard spent some time talking about how Rick Lazio is the right guy for NY Senator but when a listener asked him if he's even voting he said that he's not. He's not registered in the right place to vote and he said he's not driving two hours out to his former home out on Long Island to vote. He admits that he's a hypocrite. Robin brought up his movie as an example of his hypocrisy. Howard said he just got a royalty check for the movie the other day and he said that he hates being reminded about it.
Monica Lewinsky will be on ''Entertainment Tonight'' tonight and they'll be following her around her warehouse. They also said we'll learn how much she weighs. Howard guessed that she's around 225 but then brought that number down to 185. Gary had an article that said Oprah Winfrey weighed 237 when she was at her heaviest. Howard doesn't think Monica is that heavy but she's up there somewhere.
Howard had a couple of lists that he was on. One was the ''Most Despised People of 2000'' and the other was the ''Most Respected''. He said he had 3% of the votes for most despised which was actually ahead of OJ Simpson! Topping the list were people like Bill Gates and Johnny Cochran. Howard didn't have a percentage on the most respected list but at least he was on it. Leading that list were Steven Hawking and Colin Powell.
General Manager Tom Chiusano came in to discuss the upcoming election with Howard. Tom told Howard that he'd be voting for Bush. Howard started to talk about how Gore might be a better person to vote for and Tom agreed with almost everything Howard brought up. Howard was baffled by his answers. Robin said that his negotiation meetings are the same way. He says one thing and agrees with another. The one thing Howard is afraid of is Joe Lieberman. He's mentioned Howard by name on more than one occasion as one of the things he wants to ''clean up'' or clean off of the air.
Howard watched the New York City Marathon over the weekend. He said a couple of his running buddies ran in the marathon and he enjoys running so he checked it out. He said he was also able to stand at the finish line to see his buddy Pat finish the race in 4hours and 9 minutes or so. He said the guy who won did it in 2 hours and 9:50 minutes. Howard said some of the racers are able to run 4 minute miles for the whole race. The best he's been able to do was 7 minutes for one mile. Howard was most impressed by the way the runner's times are tracked with a microchip placed on their sneakers. He spent a few minutes talking to Vinnie Favale whose nephew ran in the race. Vinnie told Howard how he was able to track his nephew on the web as the race was going on.
Howard went out with his daughter and her friends to the ''Vagina Monologs'' play on Saturday night. He said that his friend Robin Givens was in the play and her last night was last night so he wanted to see her in it. He said he actually enjoyed the play. He said it was basically a play created around what a bunch of women have said about their vaginas. He said he learned that he's supposed to compliment women on the looks of their vaginas if he feels so inclined to do so. Gary came in and said that there's nothing pretty about that part of a woman. He said he's never seen one that he'd consider ''pretty''. He's seen plenty that were ugly though.
Gary made an appearance at a Bull Riding exhibition over the weekend. A caller told Howard that he saw Gary in a clown outfit at the event. Howard told the story about how Gary got there and they didn't have a clown outfit for him. They didn't know what they'd have Gary do instead of being a rodeo clown but the E! crew with Gary said they had an outfit back at the studio. They brought it back and Gary dressed in the outfit. It was an outfit that Gary the Retard once wore and it was probably never cleaned. They took Gary out to the ring and the rodeo clown showed Gary how to hop in one of the barrels they have to hide in. Gary hopped in and the announcer said ''Okay, let's release the bull!'' Gary didn't know they were kidding and freaked out. He tried to hop out of the barrel but ended up falling out of it. He said he really didn't want to be in the ring with a bull. He's also claustrophobic and when he was in the barrel he was freaking out.
Howard took a phone call from another guy who claims he does the same thing. But this guy says it's because he's attracted to his sisters. He told his story about whacking off to his sisters voice when he calls her. Andrew called that guy a wacko. Like he's not one. It turns out that Andrew is happily married with no kids. Howard told him that maybe someday he'd have kids of his own to whack off to.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik who said that Larry shouldn't be back on the show because he's not loyal. Erik also did another radio show one time and claims he learned his lesson. Howard told Larry that Erik is more loyal than he is.
Benjy came in and told Howard that Larry is still badmouthing Gary on his web site MelroseLarry.com. He has a picture of Gary's fat belly with a Buddha head attached to it and it says something rude about him. Larry claims that he has no control over the site because Ponce De LaPhone is running it now. Everyone knows he can control it so Gary asked him to have it removed by the end of the day. Larry said he'd talk to Ponce about it today.
Since Larry was doing such a good job of kissing ass with his words, Angry Black called in and told him he should literally be kissing Gary's ass. Gary pulled down his pants and after a few seconds we heard everyone yell out ''OH!'' as Melrose pressed his lips to Gary's smelly ass. Howard said that was really gay looking. He told Benjy to go over to get his ass kissed too but he refused to do it. Melrose said he'd even kiss Jackie's fungus infected toes but that didn't happen either. Howard ended the segment and told Melrose that he'd be watched from now on and he'd better behave. He told him that he should just leave when he's asked to leave so there wouldn't be any trouble. Of course the always annoying Melrose kept talking as he was walking out but he was better behaved than he has been in the past. If Rick Lazio wins the election Tuesday night Melrose will be calling in on Wednesday so be prepared.
KC is jealous of professional football players. He came in this morning and told Howard he was at a Jets game over the weekend and he feels jealous of those guys. He says he was supposed to play pro football but he never tried out to become a pro. Howard spent some time discussing KC's college days and it turns out KC was a quarterback but he never threw the ball. He told Howard that he was also good at punting and he's been thinking about trying out for a team but he's not sure about it. Howard told him he should just go for it and see what happens. He might make the team and get to hang out with all of the other football players. Jackie told KC to ''Fade back and get Howard's lunch..'' which is what he's best at right now. A listener called in and suggested that KC get dressed in a football uniform when he goes to get Howard's lunch. They could have some people tackle him in the halls to make it feel like a real game.
KC shared some of his old football stories but they had nothing to do with the game. It was all gay stuff that the guys did to each other. KC was talking about this guy Bucket Head that he used to hang out with. He once fell over in the shower and KC got a laugh out of describing how he was lying on his back naked with his legs in the air. Gary said he used to play and guys would do weird stuff in the locker room. One thing he used to see was one guy would pull the towel off of a guy while another guy sprayed him in the ass with Right Guard.
Howard said he's thinking of buying an XFL team and someone said that's probably the reason KC came to him. KC said that's not true. He doesn't want Howard to put him on a team and he doesn't want him to help him get on an NFL team either.
Howard spent a few minutes goofing on Imus' horrible TV show that he ran across the other day on CNBC. He said the show is unwatchable but it's supposed to be the same type of show as his is. Howard did his best Imus impression and tried to bore us as much as Imus bored him.
John eventually got around to describing his show to Howard. He said the convicts would have competitions and they'd be voted off by families of their victims. One of the competitions John described goes something like this: The convicts dress up like drag queens and row over to another island. Then they hit on the natives on the island. Another one is where the parole officers for the convicts would be brought in with bags on their heads. The convicts would then insult the unrecognizable people and the bags would eventually be taken off to reveal who they just insulted. Howard asked if they could have a competition called ''Pin the tail on the fag.'' One listener called in and said that they should call the show ''Australia'' because that's an island where they dropped a bunch of convicts.
Howard said he'd think about the pitch but he saw that John also has a web site called TalkToACelebrity.com where you can actually talk to a celebrity. He charges $250 for a 15 minute talk with celebrities like Kato Kaelin, Lou Ferrigno, Todd Bridges, Richard Kiel and David Lander. Howard seemed even more fascinated by this thing than the Danger Island thing. John says he does pretty well with the web site and it's the only source of income for him right now.
Howard changed the subject and spent a couple of minutes reading an article from FHM magazine where they list the heights of celebrities. Howard was surprised by some of them and also wants to challenge David Spade's claim of being 5'7'' tall. Here are some of the celebs listed:
Howard said he saw this movie ''Loser'' which is coming to video soon. He said he didn't hear anything good about it when it was in the movies but after watching it he said he loved it. Robin said she wanted to like it because it was directed by Amy Heckerling who directed ''Fast Times at Ridgemont High'' but she thought it just sucked. Howard said he thought it was really good though. Howard said Mena Suvari looked really cute in the movie. In the past he's said that she looks like an alien but today he said she was cute. Robin yelled at him to make up his mind already.
Howard was also going on and on about how he liked Lou Reed's song ''Heroin'' when he was a kid. He had Gary download it off of Napster.com so he could play it. He came in later in the show with the song and Howard listened to it. He also played some stuff off of Reed's ''Metal Machine Music'' album. Howard said that album was the reason he hates Reed now. He was having a conflict with his record company so he put that album out and it was just filled with awful noise. They weren't even songs, just feedback and strange sounds.
For some reason Howard kept asking Carla if she's a witch or a wicken or something. She says she's not. She did say that she was an alcoholic but what that has to do with this we don't know. Howard thinks that she just needed something to take her mind off of the alcoholism so she turned to this nonsense.
Someone brought up this guy John Edwards who has a show where he ''speaks'' to the dead. Sal the Stockbroker called in and said he had an experience with that guy and he's the real deal. Sal was speaking seriously and he swears that the guy is for real. Howard didn't believe Sal and he doesn't believe that John Edwards can speak to the dead. Gary came in and said that they have some people working for them who used to work for Edwards. Some of them say that they usually don't believe in that stuff either but after working for Edwards they believe he's the real deal. Howard eventually wrapped things up so he could end the show at a reasonable time so he could go vote. You can find out more about Carla at her web site CarlaWillsBrandon.com
Howard thinks they should have a re-vote down in Florida because there were too many irregularities down there. There is an estimate that about 2000 old people down in Palm Beach, Florida punched the wrong vote on the cards they were using because they couldn't read it correctly. They wanted to vote Gore but ended up punching Buchanan instead. A listener called in and explained how they got confused by the way the cards were set up. He basically said that the old people didn't see the line leading from Gore's name to the box they were supposed to punch.
Howard was informed that DJ Booker who is on his station in New York City is in some kind of poll on WB11.com for the best DJ in New York. He's losing to DJ's like Issac Hayes, Cubby and Funk Master Flex. Booker called Gary last night and asked for his help to get his rating up a bit. Just go to that site and cast your vote for Booker under the NY DJ's link.
The woman who won a trip to the Geena Davis show recently called in to tell Howard about what happened when she went. She got to meet Geena and when they told Geena she'd won the trip on the Howard Stern show she gave the woman a dirty look. The woman said that Geena was very rude, ugly and unfunny. She said the show was awful. Howard called Geena a skank and said that if she's got a problem with him she shouldn't take it out on his fans.
Later in the show Howard continued his election coverage. He played tape of Hillary Clinton making a quick speech after she was told she won the Senate seat in New York. Howard also had tape of Rick Lazio telling his people that he'd just called Hillary to congratulate her. His people just booed when he mentioned her name. Howard saw in one news article that 4% of the votes were for ''other'' and he wonders who the hell these people are voting for. He also wondered what kind of person would vote for ''other''.
Howard asked if Kreskin brought his girlfriend with him today. Howard wants to meet this woman he claims to date. Kreskin's secretary Diane was with him, not his girlfriend. Howard had her come in and he spent a couple of minutes talking to her. Diane told Howard that she spends some time taking care of Kreskin's kittens Bugsy, Squeaky and Miss Kitty. Howard then said that there may be some other prediction in the safe that Kreskin might want to reveal. Diane said she also watches Kreskin make his pasta during her days working for him. She's been with him for about 6 months now. Howard told Kreskin that he wants him to bring in his girlfriend one of these days.
Kreskin was also in to promote his new The Amazing Kreskin's Celtic Oracle Game which is available now. Howard told him he will play the game with him when he returns to open the safe.. maybe 10 days or so. He also has a web site at AmazingKreskin.com.
Howard took some phone calls for Kreskin and a couple of them told Howard to kick Kreskin out and never let him back if he doesn't open the safe. Howard told Kreskin he was going to kick him out and saw open the safe as soon as he's gone. Kreskin said he hasn't slept in 2 days because of the whole election thing. When Robin told him it might be another 10 days before the official results are announced he went nuts. He started talking to himself and rambled on and on for a minute. He didn't understand why it would take so long to get the results.
Howard goofed on Kreskin's big glasses for a couple of minutes also. He said they're bigger than Sally Jesse Raphael's. Howard also told Kreskin that it seems he's losing his mind. He wrapped up the interview and told Kreskin to come back when he's ready to open the safe.
Howard also asked Joey to do him a favor at their show at Nassau Coliseum tomorrow night. Howard said his daughter Debra is going to the show with two of her friends. He asked Joey to get him really good tickets and maybe say Deb's name during the show to make him look like he did something big for her. He told Joey that the girls have had a tough time over the past year since the separation and he wants to make it up to Debra this way. Joey told Howard he'd hook him up with his guy Joe to set him up with tickets. Joey said he was at a photo shoot and he had to get going so he got off the phone.
Howard continued to wonder about how Justin isn't getting some off of Britney. He said ''Can't he just get her high and bang her?'' He thinks there must be something up with him if he can't make that work. Howard wanted to talk to him but Joey told him he was in a photo shoot at the time.
After the trip giveaway Howard asked Robin ''What two people who work on the show haven't spoken to each other in 2 weeks?'' She eventually guessed it was Jackie and Stuttering John. But then Jackie said that he just went to lunch with John last Friday so that wasn't quite true. Howard asked Gary why he'd tell him that news if it wasn't true. He said that he just found out himself and that 2 days ago John told him that he hadn't spoken to Jackie in 2 weeks. So it wasn't as big of a gossip story as he thought but Howard spent a few minutes talking to the two of them about it. It turns out Jackie was a little annoyed with John after their conversation about Jackie wanting to turn one of his homes into a museum. He told Howard he had a nice rest from John for a short time and now they're back together. Howard was still trying to get some information about the museum but Jackie still refuses to give details about it. He said it's now a dead issue and he has no desire to tell anyone what the idea was. He said it was funnier to let Howard speculate on what he was actually going to do. Howard thought that Jackie was going to make it a Bayville Long Island museum and that way it would never be sold. Jackie grew up in the house and he said he wants to keep it. The museum idea was just one thing he was considering. He said it's now available to rent and he's looking for someone to rent it.
Stuttering John also refuses to talk about the issue anymore. Howard tried to get him to give him some of the details that he'd discussed with Jackie but he doesn't want to risk losing Jackie as a friend. He did, however, say that they discussed turning it into a car wash while smoking a ''good doobie'' together. Howard questioned that wacky idea but Jackie said they just thought they could have their wives in bikinis washing cars at the house. It was just one of those pot-induced wacky ideas that came to both of them at the same time. Howard eventually gave up on trying to find out more. He went to a break and moved on.
After the break he came back and brought up a web site where people vote on what characters they'd like killed off of their favorite shows. For instance, he said he'd like to kill off the character Phoebe from ''Friends'' but the votes on the site were mostly for David Schwimmer's character Ross. He said the votes for ''Sex and the City'' were mostly for Sarah Jessica Parker's character. He talked about a couple of others but by then the site was all jammed up with Stern fans who wanted to join in on the fun. He never even gave out the site name and it was all clogged within 3 minutes. I believe the site may have been WhoWouldYouKill.com
Scott DePace from E! came in and got into a major argument with Howard about who he thinks won the election. DePace, a huge Bush supporter, thinks that Bush is definitely the winner. Howard spent quite a bit of time arguing with him about how Gore is the obvious winner. DePace didn't want to hear any of that and the argument continued for 20 minutes. Howard would bring up something about Bush and DePace would have an argument in favor of everything Howard brought up. DePace was even willing to argue the subject of military service. Howard said that at least Gore went to war while Bush stayed in this country in the reserves. These arguments probably would have gone on for 4 hours but Howard finally had to take a break after 30 minutes of arguing.
Howard came back from break and brought up the call he got from Joey from 'N Sync yesterday. He asked Joey to mention his daughter's name in their songs if that was possible but Joey didn't know how they could do that. Howard had an example of what their song ''Bye, Bye, Bye'' would sound like if they said ''Debra Stern Debra, Debra''. It would work but now 'N Sync would just have to follow through. The concert is tonight so we'll find out tomorrow if they do it.
KC came in with some more ''Who Would You Kill'' stuff from WhoWouldYouKill.com. They played for a short time yesterday before the site was overwhelmed with visitors. On the site you vote for the people you would want killed off of your favorite shows. KC brought up shows like The Brady Bunch, Saved by the Bell, Charles in Charge, Happy Days, Beverly Hills 90210, Cheers, Seinfeld and even Son of the Beach. Surprisingly BJ Cummings got the most votes for Son of the Beach. Howard said he'd vote off Elaine from Seinfeld and The Fonz from Happy Days. Robin said she'd vote off Screech from Saved by the Bell.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about a picture he saw of Jerry Seinfeld and his wife holding their new baby. He pointed out that she's only holding it with one arm and it's down at her side which looks very dangerous. He said he remembers when he had his kids and they always said use two hands when holding your baby.
Howard mentioned The S.T.E.R.N. Group up in Canada. They tried for two years to get Howard back on the station he was dropped from up in Montreal. Apparently they've given up because the station refuses to put Howard back on. Howard thanked everyone who was involved in the effort.
Howard said he thinks that he played a major role in making the company what it is today and a lot of people became multi-millionaires because of his show's success. He wasn't talking about Mel Karmazin though. He said that he and Mel were buddies when Howard started at WXRK. Howard has said that he thinks he helped Mel get to where he is. Robin said she called Mel the other day and he said something like ''Oh, Hello person who is responsible for all my wealth..'' but she didn't know what he was talking about.
Howard said he's just going to ''let the chips fall as they may'' and if he does come back next year Jackie probably won't be part of the show. His negotiations never go well and Howard thinks that the company doesn't want to deal with that again.
Howard said he has presented the company with his ''massive internet'' and radio plans and they have failed to embrace him as he thought they would. He also changed his tune about how much he's contributed to the company's success. He said that he's had very little to do with the success and that he's not going to be humble about it.
If there is a last show it'll be around the middle of December right before they take their Christmas vacation.
Gary came in and asked if he should be looking for a job at this point. Howard said that, even though he hates talking about this, that he should start looking. He said other people have been told to start looking already. He didn't say who that was though.
By this time tears were welling up in my eyes as I thought about what I'll do without Howard to wake me up every morning. Damn, he's just a talk show host, what's wrong with me? Howard sounds very serious about the possibility of not returning after Christmas vacation. We may not know the outcome until the end of December or the beginning of January. Howard's contract ends during vacation. Enjoy it while you can.
The one problem John has is flaps of skin hanging off his body because of the drastic weight loss. He said that he looks like a flying squirrel now. He also has a problem with his penis disappearing when it's limp. He said it just about disappears under all of his extra skin.
John told Howard that the reason he went on this diet was because of him. Last year he was on the show and Howard let him know he was concerned about his weight. He basically told John that he'd die if he didn't lose weight. John thought about it and decided he was right. He then had the stomach stapled and now he's on his way to a much thinner body. He's also gotten Blues Traveler back together and they're making new music.
Howard told John that he's now got to do something about his clothes. He was wearing what Howard called ''Farmer Green jeans''. He's still losing weight so he has to throw out clothes that he just got recently.
John and Howard got into a political debate for a few minutes when John said he'd bet Howard $5000 that Bush will be the winner in the election. Howard said he might be right but that's not the way it should come out. They argued for a few minutes until Howard finally got fed up with it.
Howard changed the subject and asked John about his new girlfriend. That didn't last long though. He told Howard he met her in L.A. and the subject got changed again. John started to tell a story about how he paid a hooker $850 NOT to sleep with him but Howard didn't want to hear the story. He took a few phone calls for John instead. A couple of callers called him fat and basically told him he sucks. John took it pretty well and just let them call him names.
John put out a 20 minute long rock opera which is available on BluesTraveler.com. Howard tried to listen to some of it. He played a few minutes of it and the lyrics didn't start for a long time. Once they did start Howard said John's got a great voice. He gave up on that after a short time also. He asked John if it was a goof or something. John said you have to smoke a doob to get into it. Blues Traveler is on tour now and they'll be appearing at Roseland in New York City on November 22.
Howard wanted to see what John's body looks like after the massive weight loss. Gary told Howard that iWon.com would pay him $3000. Howard also agreed to take his shirt off at the same time. Howard said John didn't look all that bad although he did have man-breasts which looked like they were a good B-cup or more in size. The biggest surprise to everyone was Howard's chiseled body. He's got what Gary called a ''3 pack'' instead of a 6 pack stomach. Others said his pecs were defined and even his back had some definition. Howard said he thanks his buddy Pat Minokia to thank. He also said that he had to thank his buddy Ralph Cirella for telling him to get off of the carbs. He stopped eating pasta, rice and yogurt and now his flabby belly is all but gone. Anne Marie and Robin Radzinski both came in to tell Howard how great his body is looking. Gary said that this is the best Howard has looked in the 17 years he's known him.
John thanked Howard for saving his life by telling him that he was fearing for his life last year. He also said that he and his buddies were having a discussion in the tour bus about who Robin would sleep with, Beetlejuice or a dead Brad Pitt. Robin said that she'd do a dead Pitt before Beetlejuice alive. This led to more of these comparisons. Howard said he'd do a dead Pam Anderson before a live Barbara Bush. Then he said he'd do Bridget the Midget alive before a dead Carmen Electra.
After Popper left KC came in and said that John was doing some weird stuff to him. He said they were cutting ID's back in another studio and Popper pulled out his knives to show him. He then put one up to his neck and said something about ''repressed homos'' or something like that. KC said that he tried to get John to stop but then he started to chase him around trying to kiss him. Gary said this all has to do with KC throwing something at John the last time he was on the show. Now he's trying to kiss him for some reason and no one can figure that out. KC said he eventually got away from John but John said he wasn't leaving until he found him again. KC gave up and went out to end it but John hugged him and put his leg around him in a gay way. No one could figure out what that was all about though. Howard wondered if John is gay or something.
Gary probably won't be in this morning because he was involved in an accident on his way in to work. Howard didn't have all the details but he understands that Gary isn't hurt too bad. He has a bump on his head but his vehicle might be totaled. At one point Howard said that Gary was in a tow truck and he wasn't able to call in. He said he heard that one of Gary's teeth was knocked out and they had to tow it to the dentist. Kidding around of course. They'd need more than a tow truck to haul one of those teeth around.
Gary finally called in around 6:30am. He said he was in the Bronx somewhere. He didn't go to the hospital because of his location. He will go to a hospital as soon as he gets a cab. He said he was driving down the highway on his way to work when he saw a broken down car with no lights on. He hit the brakes and slid right into it with his 10 day old Honda Accord. Gary claims that the first 2 feet of the vehicle were smashed in. He also claims that his airbags didn't deploy. He somehow banged the back of his head on something and that's starting to bother him. He also wanted to let everyone know that all of his teeth are intact. Jackie theorized that the airbag caught a glimpse of Gary's huge lips and choppers and decided not to deploy. It's like the airbag knew that it would be destroyed by them.
Howard continued to discuss the mess down in Florida with the voting. Howard and Robin discussed what might happen if it's brought to the courts. It was basically the same discussion they had yesterday.
Big Black called in with tape of Jesse Jackson making one of his dopey rhymes but it wasn't what Howard expected. Jesse was talking about the election and said something about ''vote, re-vote or revolt'' and Big Black thought that was good enough to call in. Howard and Robin didn't think that it was much of a rhyme. Stuttering John said Big Black is still unemployed so he asked him why he hasn't tried to get a job. Big Black told him that he tried two times but never heard back from the places. Howard had to break the news to him that it's normal not to hear back from a company that doesn't want you. He's been out of work for years now.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about John Popper's appearance yesterday. He took his shirt off late in the interview and it was still disturbing to Howard. He was amazed by the size of John's man-breasts. Robin said she thinks they were at least a C-cup. Howard said that they asked the lawyers about whether or not they can show those breasts on the TV shows. They said it's okay to show them as long as they're not implants. Howard also brought up the whole knife thing with KC that happened. It was all very strange.
Howard was talking about what a pain in the ass Christmas season is. He feels like he has to buy gifts for everyone and he hates doing it. Robin told him that if it's not in his heart then he shouldn't be doing it. He said that one year he hired a professional shopper to do his shopping but he's not sure if everyone liked their gifts. Jackie said the best gift he ever gave was a fleece jacket with the Private Parts logo on it. He said it's warm in the winter and you can even wear it in the summer.. but his was stolen. Howard said that Ralph always loved the bathrobes he gave out one year. He used his so much that he wore the hood off of the thing. Stuttering John came in and said that Howard's gifts used to be worse than they are now. He mentioned how he got popcorn one year and that he was looking for a check under it but never found one. Robin thought that gift was nice because it was personalized and painted especially for them. John said he liked getting a DVD player last year. Howard said he might get him a hoe for the farm he wants to buy up in Albany.
Howard read a review of Adam Sandler's new movie ''Little Nicky'' that only gave it a 1 star rating. Howard is hoping that this movie is Sandler's downfall. Robin is predicting that it'll only make $28 million. Howard is hoping it will only do $16 million.
The kid had a routine that he does so Howard had him perform. He stood on a little platform and did some interesting moves. Howard said he had one leg in the air behind his head at one point and that he has amazing balance. He did his performing monkey act for a couple of minutes and ended it in a split. Frank the trainer said the kid has an 8-pack abs look. He's also the strongest person pound for pound in the world. On November 17 he'll be lifting 210 pounds for Guinness World Records.
All of the people with Richard claim that weight lifting doesn't stunt the growth of his body. They said he's seen doctors and they say that he's of normal weight and height for his age.
Richard has long hair so Howard asked him if kids ever make fun of him. He said they don't really do that and he won't cut it either. His people told him to tell Howard why he won't cut it. The kid says that he won't cut it because his grandfather was like Samson and if he cuts his hair he'll lose his powers.. can you say brainwashed? You can find out more about Richard at CenturyTraining.com and coming soon will be RichardSandrak.com.
After the interview Howard said that he doesn't think little kids should be put through stuff like that. He does get to hang around with Sherri though and Howard likes that idea.
After the game the guys hung around to play the Gossip Game with Mike Walker.
After the break Howard had a political discussion with a caller from Chicago who said there were 120,000 votes nullified because of double punching similar to the Florida votes. Howard eventually said he was getting too political on the show and changed the subject.
KC came in with more dopey Who Would You Kill.com stuff. He had more characters that people would like to have killed off of their favorite TV shows. Howard thinks it's ridiculous because the characters that get voted off aren't always the worst ones. Here are a few examples: