Mark's Friggin Visit To The Howard Stern Studio (Studio 69). 02/22/06

In my last story, ''What a Friggin Week,'' I explained how I had been invited to the roast of Ralph Cirella but didn't make it in due to a highway closure. Well, this time I was invited to another roast and actually made it into the city. Whew!

The Reverend Bob Levy put me on the guest list for this second roast show that they're doing live on Howard's morning radio show about every month now. I was told to get my ass into the city by about six o'clock in the morning so I figured I'd give myself plenty of time to get there and left at about four in the morning. I shot right into the city in about an hour and 15 minutes, parked the car and headed up to the SIRIUS studios on the 36th floor of the McGraw Hill Building.

As I was going into the building I ran into Jon Hein from the Wrap Up Show and former host of the Superfan Roundtable. We exchanged a few words then headed into the building. Jon headed right up to work while I had to get my visitor pass. Ahead of me was the Rappin' Granny. We were the first two people up to the lobby.

They don't screw around up at SIRIUS as far as security goes. There were three security guards outside of Howard's area alone. They checked me in, confiscated my camera, and waved over me with a metal detector to make sure I wasn't carrying anything dangerous. Fun stuff. I wonder if they did that for the Rappin' Granny too...

The roast wasn't scheduled to go on until about 7:30 in the morning so I had about 2 hours to kill just hanging out in the lobby. It was just me and Granny for about 20 minutes or so. She was reading over her roast notes and shaking her head over the language she had to use. She was surprised that she could say some of the things that were written down for her.

A bunch of the show staff came in as we were sitting there. Robin hustled right in as did a bunch of other guys. Benjy came in literally running from the elevator to the studio door. A bunch of the other invited guests started showing up as well. Mariann from Brooklyn came in all ready to go with special t-shirts, signs and other things she wanted to give to Howard.

My New Friend

The comedians for the roast showed up. I've met everyone before so it's nice when they recognize me sitting there in the lobby. Bob Levy, Yucko, Mike Morse, Don Jamieson and Jim Florentine were all there. As Jim came over to me he had a beautiful woman following him. He quickly said ''Hey Mark, this is my friend Robin...'' as he was called away by someone else. When I saw her I just figured that she was another ''hot chick'' who had no interest in talking to me. I was wrong.

Jim came back and introduced another friend of his who works at HBO. Hot chick Robin was there too and the guys told her about my web site which she had never heard about before. Once we told her what it was, she said it sounded like just what she needs to fill in the parts she misses on the show. Robin didn't seem to be sickened by me which is the reaction I get from some people. We talked for a few minutes and Richie Wilson from iN DEMAND must have noticed. Richie came over with a camera guy and asked both of us to do a quick interview.

Richie told both of us to get on camera figuring we were friends. When he asked if we were, I just said ''We are now!'' As usual I froze up and didn't know what to say when they asked us some simple questions. Robin didn't have that problem and told the guys she was really looking forward to the roast and said that she was hoping to take her top off for Howard. D'oh! I turned to her and said ''Is it alright if I sit next to you?(in the studio)'' That was the plan until Ronnie got a hold of her...

After the interview Ronnie the Limo Driver grabbed Robin spoke to her in private. She came back, gathered up her stuff and was escorted into the green room where the comedians were hanging out... Damnit! He stole her away! A little while later she came walking out with a blue bikini in hand. She changed in the bathroom and came back with the strings from the bikini sticking out of her shirt. Nice! The guys were in for a treat today, never mind that roast, Robin was going to get topless!

Ronnie had already planned to bring in a couple of Scores girls to stand next to him and sit on his lap in the studio during his roast. Those girls showed up and walked around in their skirts which were barely skirts. Nice...

The Roast

Enough of Ronnie's hot chick plans... The crowd of about 25 people were marched into the Howard Stern studio (Studio 69) around 7:55am. There were a bunch of familiar faces around the studio and I lucked out when Mike Gange from iN DEMAND pulled me over, said ''Mark, sit here...'' and sat me right in the front row! I couldn't have asked for a better seat. Howard was about 10 feet behind me running commercials and getting ready to start the roast. Once everyone was seated Howard came back from break and started the roast. You can read about that in my archives.

Sitting in the studio as the roast was going on was awesome. You get to see the comedians doing their thing and a bunch of stuff you don't get to see on the air. Everyone was killing during the roast. One comedian after the next just busting Ronnie the Limo Driver's balls as he sat in a chair with his 3 hot chicks surrounding him. He seemed to like Robin the hot chick even better than the Scores girls he brought in. She was wearing her bikini top and jeans over the bottom half. At one point during a break Ronnie actually unbuttoned her jeans so he could just see a hint of the blue bikini bottom.

Robin Gets Topless (No, not Robin Quivers)

After the comedians, and Bubba the Love Sponge, had done their roasting of Ronnie, it was time for Robin to get topless. I noticed that Will Murray had been informed about what Robin had said during our little interview. He tried to get Howard's attention but someone else must have filled him in. He then asked her if she wanted to get topless for everyone. She didn't hesitate in untying her top. I'll spare you the details but holy crap she had an awesome body. She wasn't a stripper either, she said she's a banker out in Arizona. Close my account, I'm moving to Arizona to do some banking!

After the roast was all done the crowd was ushered out of the studio pretty quick. Security was pushing to get everyone back out in the lobby instead of standing in the halls. Howard was busy talking to Gary so I didn't make any attempt to introduce myself... So I still haven't met Howard.

The iN DEMAND crew were doing some interviews out in the hall so that held up the process. I was standing at a corner waiting to leave and Robin (Quivers) came rushing through and quickly said hello to a few of us standing there. That's about the closest I came to meeting her as well. She looked like she was on a mission so I didn't want to bother her either.

Yuck-Ohhhh

After scooting myself out to the lobby I hung around and waited for Bob Levy so I could thank him for inviting me. Adam the Intern kept me company for a while just talking about the show, my web site and other stuff like that. I've seen Adam around at comedy shows for a couple of years now and now he's interning for the Stern show. Anyway, Levy and some of the other guys came out a little while later so they could go smoke.

I have to say that one of the highlights of the morning was heading out of the building with Bob and Yucko. There's nothing funnier than seeing the look on people's faces when they see Yucko stepping out of the elevator in an office building in Manhattan. Yucko hasn't washed his outfit in years so it's filthy and his giant red shoes are all torn up and falling apart... and everyone getting into the elevator and passing Yucko is in business attire. People were whispering and staring at him as he walked out of the building. I heard at least one person say ''Ugh!'' as they walked past him.

Well, that's the story. Maybe next time I'll just be a dick and butt in and introduce myself to Howard so I can finally get that over with... but then again, that would be the end of my quest and what else would I have to look forward to?