Howard Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 8/2/99 to 8/6/99

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-- Monday August 2, 1999 --
• Benjy's Behavior At Scores. 8/2/99. 6:15am
  Howard and the rest of the guys discussed their trip to Scores last Friday afternoon. Howard said that Benjy was allowed to go even though last week they'd discussed not letting him go. He said he didn't see Benjy himself but heard stories about how odd he was. The first thing Benjy did was move his bowels in the bathroom and stunk it up. Then Gary said that Benjy likes to stare at people while they're getting dances from the strippers. Gary said at one point he could feel Benjy's stare from across the room. Stuttering John said the same thing. He added that Benjy would comment on how the girls were acting while they were dancing for John instead of concentrating on his own dancers. A couple of the other guys told Howard that Benjy stunk pretty bad without having gone to the bathroom. This is what Howard was afraid of last week and they warned Benjy to clean up that day. Benjy thought is was a manly thing to go in to a place like that and have the balls to take a dump. No one else thought it was cool though. Benjy said he had a really hot stripper who looked like Catherine Zeta Jones and said she liked his eyes. Howard also spent some time talking about going to see the new ''Inspector Gadget'' movie with his 6 year old daughter over the weekend.

• Andrea The Ex-Stripper Sings Alannis Morissette Song. 8/2/99. 7:45am
  This 25 year old ex-stripper Andrea came in to talk about how her teacher is suffering from Lou Gherig's disease. She wanted to come in and sing an Alannis Morissette song to prove that she's better than her also. When she came in and told Howard she was 25 years old they goofed on her and said she's got to be 30. Howard let her talk about her teacher's disease for about 10 seconds then told her to take off her top. Howard spent a few minutes talking to her and trying to find out what she does for a living. She said she doesn't strip anymore and that her fiance supports her. She was very reluctant to take her top off so Howard told her to get out of the studio. As she was being led out she finally agreed to do it. She whipped off her top and showed her natural breasts for a few seconds. Howard told her to leave it off but she didn't want to. Howard then told her to sing in her bra. Howard demanded to see her belly and ass before she went on though. She eventually put her bra on and sang Alannis Morissette's ''You Oughtta Know.'' She did it without any musical accompaniment and during the whole thing Fred played Beetlejuice's puking sound effect and some dog barking sounds. Jackie was tossing paper at her the whole time also. After the song Robin commented that her voice is good. The first few calls that Howard took for her thought different. They all said she sounded pretty bad. Then a guy with a cover band called in and said he was looking for a singer. He was going to leave his number for her. She said that she usually sings Broadway songs and sang a few lines from some bad Broadway shows. Howard thanked her for coming in and moved on to better things.

• Two Truths And A Lie Game. 8/2/99. 8:05am
  After KC got rid of Andrea the stripper he had some of his 2 Truths and a Lie games to play. This is where he gets 2 true stories and one false story from different people on the show and everyone else has to guess which one is false. The first stories were about Fred:
  1. He once dated a pregnant girls while posing as a college basketball player.
  2. He had sex in Jackie's studio during a 4th of July party.
  3. He was once ''manually stimulated'' in a taxi cab during gridlock.
  Everyone guessed that the fake story was number one. Fred said the false story was actually 3. He explained that someone had set him up on a date when he was 15 and told him he had to pretend to be a college basketball player. The next group of stories were Jackie's:
  1. Was thrown out of a high school assembly after applauding the orchestra's warm up.
  2. Was caught dry humping his girlfriend by the assistant principal in high school.
  3. Once pulled down the shorts of a guy about to mount the high bar in gym class.
  Everyone made their decisions and talked over each other so it was hard to figure out who picked which story. Jackie said that number 2 was the false story. Up next was Gary:
  1. Once bowled a near perfect game and got 8 strikes in a row.
  2. Had a girlfriend wet the bed during sex.
  3. Had sex with his roommate's girlfriend while he was in the shower.
  Howard and Robin thought number 1 was the false story. Jackie picked number 3. Gary said the false one was number 3. He explained the story about the girl wetting the bed and said he was pretty sure she did it during sex, not after. The bowling story was true also. He said that happened when he was like 15. Last up was KC:
  1. His college english professor once showed his poem to the cops.
  2. Once knocked himself out when he slammed his head into a wall.
  3. An ex-girlfriend once crapped on him.
  Once again the picks were confusing so I didn't catch them all. KC said that number 1 was the false one. He said that he did knock himself out when he bashed his head into a wall in a fit of rage. Unfortunately he hit a stud when he did it. He couldn't get too graphic with the crapping story but it sounds like it was during anal sex. After the game the subject of KC's mother came up. It turns out she's really hot so Howard questioned him for a while about it. Howard asked him if he knew his mother's bra size and KC said that he's never seen them so he doesn't know. When questioned by Robin whether or not he's seen her in bathing suits and revealing dresses he admitted he has seen them. He just didn't know the size of them. Howard wants him to bring his mother down to the studio so they can evaluate her.

• Everlast Performs ''Ends'' For Howard. 8/2/99.
  Singer Everlast, aka Eric Schrody, came in to talk to Howard and sing his song ''Ends'' off his hit album ''Whitey Ford Sings The Blues.'' Everlast used to be in the group ''House of Pain'' but after they broke up he went off on his own. Everlast was in back in January and his album has done really well since then. Howard spoke to Everlast about his appearance at Woodstock '99 a couple weeks back and then moved on to his heart condition. Everlast suffered a heart attack once and had an artificial heart valve implanted. He told Howard he can actually hear it working when he's lying in bed. Howard wanted to hear it himself so he had everyone shut up for a few seconds. Everlast put the microphone up to his chest and you could hear it working. He said that the doctors told him the valve should last for the rest of his life. Of course that's true because if it fails, he's dead. Everlast said that he remembers begging for his life to some unseen being when he was dying. He doesn't know who or what it was though. After the heart attack he said he had to stop smoking cigarettes but he still smokes some weed once in a while. He said he may have been stoned when he had his heart attack but he doesn't really remember. He also told Howard about how he's following the Muslim religion. He doesn't stick to all of the rules but then not many people do for any religion. Eventually he performed ''Ends'' for Howard. After the song Howard took a couple of phone calls from fans of his. Everlast also has a song out that he did with Carlos Santana called ''Put Your Lights On.'' Everlast is appearing up in Boston this Saturday and returns to New York on Tuesday, August 10 to perform at Roseland.

• Boxer Shannon Briggs Comes In. 8/2/99. 9:35am
  Boxer Shannon Briggs showed up unannounced this morning. He asked to come on the show recently and was rejected but he showed up today anyway. Howard had to hold off on interviewing him for quite a while but finally got around to him late in the show. The last time Shannon was on he told Howard he was going to dedicate it to him. He did that and lost the fight. Now Howard is afraid he'll dedicate it to him again and lose again. SHannon said that he's won 31 fights and only lost 2 so he's planning on winning the fight against Francois Botha this Saturday at the Trump Taj Mahal down in Atlantic City, New Jersey. He predicts that he'll knock out Botha in the 5th round. He said that he's getting half a million bucks for the fight and if he wins, he'll be fighting Mike Tyson in December. Howard told him he's got to win this fight so he doesn't embarrass himself. Howard made a deal with him and said if he loses he has to come in and let Howard throw baloney on his naked ass. Plus he has to bring in his girlfriend and let Howard squeeze her chest. Not only that but Shannon has to show Robin his penis. Shannon didn't really have any objections to Howard's suggestions so he must be pretty confident that he's going to win. Howard told him that no matter what he should come back next Monday to tell him about the fight.

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  -- Tuesday August 3, 1999 --

• Howard's Review Of ''The Haunting.'' 8/3/99. 6:15am
  Howard gave a review of the new movie ''The Haunting'' which he saw last night. He basically said it sucked. There was no story and it wasn't scary at all. He also pondered what Steven Speilberg must be thinking about the movie because it's his company, Dreamworks SKG, that put it out. Someone called in and told Howard that Roger Ebert gave the movie a ''thumbs up'' and Howard couldn't believe it. He thought the caller was kidding him. A couple of other calls confirmed the review and Howard said that Ebert should be locked up for that review.

• Daniel Carver KKK Message. 8/3/99. 7:40am
  Howard played the latest KKK angry message from Daniel Carver this morning. He interrupted it and said he has the 70 page catalog that Daniel puts out. There's a lot of stuff in there and it's not all KKK stuff. There are offensive t-shirts and joke books. Howard also mentioned some blood drop earrings that are in there. One of the t-shirts Howard mentioned showed a middle finger and said ''Rap This'' on it. To read some of Daniel's movie reviews just visit my Daniel Carver Movie Review Summary page.

• Ex-WWF Wrestler Sable Comes In. 8/3/99. 7:45am
  The wrestler formerly known as Sable came in to talk about her recent lawsuit with the WWF. Today Sable asked to be called Rena, her real name, because her lawsuit settlement says she can't use the name Sable anymore. She's also not allowed to wrestle for 3 years which doesn't bother her one bit. Rena said that she's not allowed to discuss the settlement terms of the lawsuit but Howard tried over and over again to get some info from her. She just said she was very happy with the terms of the settlement and that she is ecstatic to be out of wrestling. When she first came in Howard was very taken by the size of her chest. Her belly was showing and he was mesmerized by it. Rena said she works out a lot and knows she won't look this way forever so she shows it off. She's also in the September issue of Playboy Magazine. She's actually the first woman in the history of Playboy to appear on the cover 2 times in one year. Howard did get Rena to talk a little bit about why she wanted to leave the WWF. Rena said that she didn't like that they wanted her character to go topless during wrestling matches and she was just getting fed up with it. They also wanted to have her character have a lesbian relationship. Howard also brought up a recent Fox Files incident where Rena's husband came in and stopped an interview. Rena explained how the Fox Files people came to her house under false pretenses and ended up interviewing her about her case when they originally said they wouldn't. The cameraman for Fox Files allegedly gave the tape to her husband because he agreed that they were doing wrong. Eventually they gave the tapes back to Fox Files and said they didn't give permission to air the interview but they did anyway. Rena said the segment turned out to be nice to her so she wasn't too upset about them airing it. Howard checked out some of the Playboy pictures while he was talking to Rena and said that his favorite was one where she shows her vagina. Rena said that this time they didn't airbrush her pubic hair on so it's a more natural look. Before Sab.. I mean, Rena.. before she left Howard took a few phone calls and found out that Rena is working on a lot of other projects right now. She's met with Gene Simmons of Kiss and he's got a lot of TV and feature film stuff in the works to she may be showing up in something in the future. Howard also found out that Rena was married once before. She got married when she was only 19 and he ended up dying in a car accident. Some of the calls were kind of angry. One guy thought that she was a hypocrite for crying sexual harassment in wrestling but then she showed up somewhere wearing only pasties on her breasts. She claimed that it was latex, not pasties so it was actually considered clothing and that she didn't ever say anything about sexual harassment. She just didn't like the way they wanted her to take her top off for the WWF. You can find out more about Rena at www.renamero.com.

• Male Queen For A Day With Judges David Wells & Tom Arnold. 8/3/99. 8:40am
  Actor Tom Arnold and baseball pitcher David Wells came in to talk to Howard this morning. The two of them have become friends somehow. Howard brought them in to play Queen for a Day but he ended up interviewing them for a half hour before getting around to the game. Howard spent quite a bit of time talking to Tom about his recent divorce from his young wife Julie. Tom said that their age difference had a lot to do with their break up. He said that it was becoming like a father/daughter relationship. Julie also wasn't ready to have a kids but Tom was. He just turned 40 and he's ready to settle down and have kids. He's already met a new woman who already has a child so the family has already been started. He's even looking to get married again in the future. You may remember that he was married to Roseanne for a short time. That marriage didn't go too well and they divorced. He used to have a big tattoo of Roseanne on his chest but he had that removed. He showed Howard and he said you couldn't even tell it was ever there. Howard also spent a little bit of time talking to David Wells about all of the women he must be banging now. He says he's really not but eyewitness reports from listeners and even Tom Arnold, say otherwise. Wells was traded from the New York Yankees to Toronto this season and Wells says he's happy to be there now. He said the team is young and they're doing well. Tom had come in to promote a 3 on 3 celebrity basketball game that will be happening at the Hard Rock hotel and casino out in Las Vegas on August 14 or 15. Wells had just come along to have some fun on the show.

  After taking a break Howard got around to playing the Queen for a Day game. Two guys came in to tell their sad stories of life to win the game. The first guy was John and the second guy, who was very odd, was Mel. Here are some of their stories:

  • John Was brought to the Columbian jungle as a child by his missionary parents. He was abused mentally and physically. Was fondled by men and raped anally more than 100 times. He was brainwashed and saw people tortured. He once sat on his knees for 5 hours while guys played Russian Roulette with a gun to his head. Was in a coma for 45 days after falling 2 stories to a concrete slab in Columbia. Was attacked by piranha in the rivers of Columbia.
  • Mel's father had parkinson's disease, his brother killed himself. Tried to burn herpes sore off his penis with turpentine. Also tried a Band-Aid with salt in it to get sore off. Scrubbed the skin off his penis last night and has Saran wrap on his penis today.
  Everyone thought John had the contest in the bag but Mel was so odd that he had a very good chance. He couldn't finish a sentence and couldn't explain why he scrubbed the skin off his penis. His fried told Gary that Mel might be on acid but Mel denied that. He called his penis Mrs. Doubtfire also. At one point KC told Howard that Mel does something called the ''preying mantis.'' Howard told him to do it but he needs Led Zeppelin's ''Dazed and Confused'' song playing. Howard played it but it wasn't the right part of the song so he wouldn't do it.. eventually he did what ever it was. By the end of it all Howard had made a decision to give both of the guys the prizes which consisted of a Movado watch and a couple of gift certificates. Mel was so odd that Howard said he'll probably have him back on the show again.

• Leonardo DiCaprio's Cousin? 8/3/99. 10:15am
  KC came in late in the show and told Howard that this guy showed up at the studio claiming to be Leonardo DiCaprio's cousin. He said that he took 17 hits of ecstasy today and was totally wasted. The guy, Lawrence, came in and rambled about some weird stuff. He didn't say exactly how he's related to Leonardo and he had some other celebrities he said he's met. He said that President Clinton lived in his house at one time. Lawrence said his mother is in a mental institution and his father is dead. He asked if he could come back and play a game tomorrow. At first Howard told him he could but then changed his mind. He may come on at some other time though.

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  -- Wednesday August 4, 1999 --

• Rent A Whore..Companion In Costa Rica. 8/4/99. 7:00am
  This guy Clancy called in this morning to talk about his company Solo Adventures. Solo Adventures sets up trips to Costa Rica for guys who want or need to get laid. They set you up with a hotel room and a woman for a full week for around $2500. Clancy said that they work with ''services'' down in Costa Rica who set up the women. Howard checked out the web site and said there were a couple of hot looking women there. Clancy said that some of them are actually the women who work down there although the hottest woman on the site was a picture he paid for. A NYPD detective called Howard and told him that usually they advertise hot women but then when you get there the women are pigs. He knows because he used to work undercover for prostitution stings. Clancy said that the women they work with are all good looking. If they don't set you up with one you like you can find another. You can find out more at www.soloadventures.com

• Homeless Jeopardy. 8/4/99. 7:40am
  One of Howard's sponsors, USABanc.com, gave him the chance to give away $10,000 in a game so Howard took that and rounded up a few homeless guys to play ''Homeless Jeopardy.'' They found 3 guys, Johnny P., Pops and Kato. Howard spoke with each guy for a minute to find out about them. Johnny P. didn't give specifics but said there were a lot of reasons for him being on the streets. Howard asked him what he would do if he won the 10,000 bucks. Johnny said he'd take Robin to dinner. Next up was Pops. Pops could also be called ''Mumbles'' or ''Spits'' because that's what he did. Out of 10 words from his mouth you're lucky to understand one. The third contestant was Kato. Kato said that alcohol is the reason he's been on the streets for 3 months. He said he'd pay his bills with the money if he won. Howard also had 22 year old dancer Susan from Fantasies in Keyport, NJ taking care of the Jeopardy board. She was showing off her 2 month old breast implants for all the guys. There were 5 categories including Politicians, Famous Couples, History, Current Events and Potpourri. Howard had Johnny P. Start off the game. Johnny P. was pretty good at the game and answered more questions than either of the other guys. After the 25 questions were answered, Johnny P. came out with $1900 while Pops came in a distant second with $300. Poor Kato was in a very distant third with -$1800. Johnny P. was thrilled to win because when he first came in he didn't believe there was actually a $10,000 prize. He said that there was no way he could cash a check that large though. He didn't want to discuss why that was. Daniel Taylor from USABanc.com came in with the check and presented it to Johnny P. Howard eventually told Gary that he might be able to cash the check and give the cash to Johnny P. Johnny P. Said that tonight he's going to be a ''..real fly guy..'' tonight. He said he's going to get some women. Daniel also offered to help out the other guys by helping them get jobs through some program called the Doe Fund. Pops mumbled ''God bless'' over and over again to everyone. Pops also told Howard that he used to be in ''The Drifters'' singing group. He painfully sang a little bit of ''This Magic Moment'' and some other unrecognizable song. Very scary. Before Howard ended this thing Howard announced that K-Rock was giving 2nd and 3rd place winners $100 cash. Both losers were thrilled.

• Porn Trip Giveaway. 8/4/99. 8:20am
  Howard has some porn trip to give away and they had a bunch of guys send in their offers for how they could win the trip. Some of the suggestions included doing things to Benjy like kissing him or fellating him. Howard was supposed to pick one of the guys but he ended up bringing in Benjy to find out what he was up for. Benjy said he wouldn't go for the fellatio thing although he would play along until the last minute to see if the guy would back out or not. Then Howard started talking about Benjy and his weird behavior at Scores last week. They discussed this on Monday and said that Benjy took a dump in the bathroom there and stared at the guys. Howard thinks that the dancers are uncomfortable around him because he's so strange. Susan, the dancer from Fantasies, was still there so Howard brought her in to see what she thinks of Benjy. She said she didn't feel uncomfortable around him. Howard asked her if she would date him and of course he's ''not her type'' or in other words, he's fat. She did say she'd go out with KC though. Howard then spent some time finding out more about Susan. He said her body was really hot. She said that she's got 2 kids and she doesn't work out. She's also married. Howard asked her how many guys she's slept with in her life. She said she never counted but then said it was probably around 10 or so. She said that she strips because it's easy money and it doesn't feel like work. Then Howard asked Susan to show them her breasts. That's when he found out that she doesn't really strip at the club she works at. The club isn't topless, it's just bikini girls that table dance. Howard was blown away that she makes money dancing in a bikini. She claims that she can make $500 a night on certain nights. A couple of people said that the women in these clubs don't wear full sized bikini's. They wear really skimpy bikini's that barely cover their private parts up so it's sexier than it sounds. Benjy said that he's studied this and thinks that these women do more for their clients because the clubs are under less scrutiny than topless clubs. Howard asked Susan if she'd wear stickers or something on her breasts to cover up her nipples. Jackie suggested taping packets of Sweet & Low to them. She agreed to that and did it. She had to use 2 packets on each breast but Benjy said her breasts were really nice. Even Robin chimed in and said her implants were done very well. Howard took a bunch of calls and one listener claims that Fantasies kind of sucks. He said Susan is the only good looking woman there. Other callers told Howard about other clubs where bikini clad women are actually able to ''friction dance'' with guys. After all of that Howard still didn't know what to do about giving away the porn trip. KC suggested having a guy come down and eat cereal out of his toilet but Howard didn't think that was a good idea. There was a suggestion of putting a ham sandwich under Benjy's armpit for a half hour but Benjy said he's Kosher and thinks that would gross him out too much.

• Gary The Missing Link? 8/4/99. 9:20am
  Howard read part of an article from the Indianapolis Star newspaper about a new species found in Africa. It was described as having a projecting forehead and very large front and rear teeth. Then Howard said that whoever named the new species must be a fan of the show because the official name of it is ''A. Garhi'' or ''a Gary.'' Howard just found that very amusing and had to point it out to everyone.

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  -- Thursday August 5, 1999 --

• Howard Reviews ''The Sixth Sense.'' 8/5/99. 6:15am
  Howard and the guys went to a special screening of the new movie ''The Sixth Sense'' yesterday after the show. Howard was really looking forward to seeing the movie. This morning he gave a quick review of the movie. He said he enjoyed it but there were some slow parts in it. Fred said it was a little long but the end of the movie was worth the wait. Robin didn't get to go for some reason.

• Brad/Houston Prom Date Update. 8/5/99. 6:45am
  The high school kid who won the prom date with porn star Houston called in to give Howard an update this morning. One reason he was calling in was to promote the fact that E! will be airing his date show tonight at 11pm. He also wanted to tell Howard that he's going out to visit Houston in Las Vegas at the end of the month. He said he's still talking to her very often and can't wait to see her again. He said that he's still dating other girls but when he saw her on E! the other night he couldn't wait to see her again. Brad is in summer school since he failed a class during his senior year in high school. He told Howard he's planning on going to college this coming school year. He'll be going to Staten Island College for one semester so he can try to improve his grades then he'll go to a real college. He spent a couple of minutes bragging about how long he held out with Houston when he slept with her a couple of weeks ago. He said he lasted like 20 minutes. Howard thought that was pretty good for an 18 year old. Howard asked Brad what his mother thinks of him going out to see Houston. He said she's happy that he's having a good time.

• KC's Death And Decomposition True-False Game. 8/5/99. 7:35am
  KC had another one of his True-False games for Howard to play. Howard got a listener on the phone to play the game and it turns out to be a heroin addict. Howard spent a few minutes talking to the guy about his addiction and how much he uses. The guy said he blew $40,000 in one year using the highly addictive drug. He also went through the steps on how to dilute it with water and filter it through cotton to get the impurities out. Eventually KC got to play his game. He got the info out of a book called ''The Big Sleep : True Tales and Twisted Trivia About Death.'' The caller had to get 2 out of 3 to win a gift certificate to a sporting goods store. Here are the 3 questions:
  1. Rotting occurs first in the stomach - True
  2. It takes 2-4 weeks for the body to rot until there is only skin and bones left - True
  3. After 2-3 days intestinal gas fills the body until the eyes and tongue stick out - True
  The guy only got one of the questions correct but Howard gave him the prize anyway. That was it for this game. Howard had spent so much time talking about heroin that he had to take a break.

• ''F JACKI'' Vanity Plate Causes Trouble In New Hampshire. 8/5/99. 7:55am
  Howard read a letter from a fan in New Hampshire who ran into some trouble when he tried to get a vanity plate that said ''F JACKI.'' He explained to Howard how he submitted an application to get the plate, had a temporary plate for 8 months and was eventually rejected. The people who review the plates rejected the plate so the guy had to go to some kind of hearing to tell the people what the ''F'' meant. They wanted to say it meant ''Father'' but they were under oath so they said it was a reference to Howard's show. That was the end of that plate. The guy pointed out that there are vanity plates that say ''ERECT'' and ''GR8 SEX'' but it didn't help. They're afraid that kids will see it or some crap like that. Now the guy wants to get a lawyer and sue for the right to get that plate. He was asking for Howard's advice on the subject. Howard just said that he should give up on it. It's not worth the fight.

• Howard Gives Robin Her Birthday Gift. 8/5/99. 8:00am
  Robin's birthday is coming up this weekend so Howard gave her a gift this morning. She opened it and found bath salts, a candle and a cashmere blanket in the box. She was very excited and impressed by the gift. Jackie stuck his 2 cents in and asked if Ralph picked out the gifts for Howard. Howard had to yell at him for being such a prick. He pointed out that Jackie is the cheapest gift giver around and has no reason to ruin his moment. Howard swears that Ralphie boy didn't pick out the gifts.

• Hank The Angry, Drunken Dwarf & Howie Mandel. 8/5/99. 8:25am
  Hank the dwarf made his return to the Stern show this morning. He's been resting since suffering a couple of seizures while doing an appearance in San Jose, California a couple months back. He had the seizures because he wasn't able to drink his usual amount of alcohol that day. Today he came in and both Howard and Robin said he looked better than he has in the past. He's back to drinking again though. He'd stopped for a couple of weeks but it didn't last long. He was carrying his green 7-Up bottle full of vodka this morning. He told Howard he started drinking at 6:30 this morning. Hank said that the drugs they gave him in the hospital made him feel like he was on acid so he just started drinking again. Howard had video of Hank's seizure that he played but there wasn't much to see. At one point in the tape there's someone who looks like a doctor over him. It turns out that it was Crackhead Bob. Howard asked Hank if he saw God when he almost died. Hank said he doesn't believe in God, he believes in Budweiser. Howie Mandel was waiting in the green room to come on so Howard had him come in while Hank was still there.

  Howie had already met Hank out in the green room earlier in the morning. Hank is a big fan of Howie's and tried to shake his hand. Howie is very germ-phobic so he refused the hand shake because Hank isn't the cleanest looking person. Howie had a daytime TV show that just recently got canceled so Howard spent most of the interview talking about that. Howard said that one reason the show may have failed was the fact that Howie isn't ''..a big fat broad'' like Rosie O'Donnell, Roseanne, Oprah, Mother Love, Rikki Lake or Maurey Povich... That's right, Maurey. Robin said that Howie appeared uncomfortable doing the show and that may have had something to do with it. Howie said he kind of knew things weren't going well with the ratings. They tried changing his set around but that didn't help it out. The day he was fired was ''Bring Your Daughter to Work Day'' and his daughter was in his office when he got the bad news. Howie said that next year he'll be bringing his daughter to ''Look For Work Day.'' Howie said he did everything that the Paramount people told him to do like get rid of his facial hair and earrings. Phone callers told Howie that he was too nice on his show. He needed to be more like he is when he does his stand-up comedy. Howard told Howie that Hank had more plugs than he did so perhaps he was bringing him down. Hank was defending Howie when Howard would take negative phone calls. Hank was on a roll yelling at some of the guys telling them how their mothers are whores and how ugly they are. There were a couple of women who said they couldn't believe his show was canceled. One caller, who calls in frequently as Robert DeNiro, had Hank so confused that he was apologizing and yelling at the guy at the same time. Hank didn't believe it was DeNiro but he was afraid that if it was actually him he might be offending him. Then another guy called in as Joe Pesci and Hank was doing the same thing. He thought it could be him so he complimented him and yelled at him at the same time. Before Howie left Howard spoke to him about his germ-phobia a little bit. The last time he was on the show he spoke about his phobia and now people know not to shake his hand. He said things haven't change much and he still won't touch a lot of things. Howard got him a black light so he can use it when he stays in hotel rooms. Apparently if you use a black light you can see things like sperm, urine and mouse turds in hotel rooms. He explained again how he removes hotel room blankets with ice tongs so he doesn't have to touch it with his bare hands. He also puts a towel on the shower floor when he showers in hotels. Howie is appearing at the Westbury Music Fair tonight and he'll be in other parts of the country doing his stand-up in the coming weeks. He's at Caesar's Resort in Las Vegas August 12-15. For info on Hank's appearance schedule just head to www.hankthedwarf.com.

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  -- Friday August 6, 1999 --

• The Best Of Stern. 8/6/99.
  Earlier in the week Howard mentioned that he had to fly out to California this weekend. He most likely took today off to make it a long weekend. They played ''The Best Of Stern'' instead. Here's what we heard today:
  • ''How's Your Hole.. Family'' Red Peters song
  • Damon Wayans comedy clip
  • Tampon Man cable access show
  • Crackhead Bob History moment
  • Woman calls Howard to complain about him calling all Lawyers retards. Her son was a retard and her husband was a lawyer
  • Yodeling Howard Stern song
  • Gay Rich and Mark the intern talk about how Mark doesn't like Rich
  • Fred's wife Alison comes in to talk to Howard
  • An ex-cop calls in to talk about his crack and alcohol addiction
  • Howard yells at Gary for not telling him the truth about a Sega cable channel test
  • Howard talks about how Larry King lies about his relationship with Sandy Kofacs
  • Stuttering John interviews Larry King about Sandy Kofacs
  • Scott the Engineer complains about not being invited to ''Butt Bongo Fiesta'' taping
  • Everyone complains about trying to work with Scott the Engineer
  • Howard complains about how everyone freaked out when someone spilled cherry juice on the studio carpet