Howard Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 5/17/99 to 5/21/99

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-- Monday May 17, 1999 --
• KC's Gay Facial Hair. 5/17/99. 6:40am
  Howard pointed out that KC now has a very gay looking beard on his face. He said it looks like a George Michael type of thing with a thin line shaved up the side of his face. Everyone was telling him that he should have kept the line along his jaw line, not up the middle of his cheek. Ronnie the limo driver and Howard were the first ones to point out the bizarre look early this morning. The one person who complimented the look was Anne Marie who works in the office. She came in to tell Howard that she told KC it looked fine. Gary told Howard that she never says a bad thing about anyone who works there so Howard had her take another look. She eventually said it did look kind of strange. Ralph was also there with his input on the look. Benjy also came in and said that it did look pretty weird. Everyone believes that KC will now keep the beard just so it doesn't look like he's caving in to the pressure. He told Ralph that he's going to keep it all week just because he doesn't like it.

• KC's Dick In A Box Story. 5/17/1999. 6:40am
  A woman called in and asked if she could get some tickets to the Daytime Emmy awards show. Howard had 5 pair to give away so he decided to play a game with the woman. KC came in with a list of games they could play. He had choices like Crackhead Bob game, Kicked in the Nuts game, Name that Tune and the Nutty True or False game. They finally settled on the Kicked in the Nuts game. KC said that some guy did a study of kids between 10 and 16 and he had the statistics set up as questions. He explained the first question but it was really confusing to Howard so he made KC move on. The woman on the phone had to get 3 out of 5 correct to win the tickets. The first question was something like ''The kids who were assaulted in the nuts were either hit, kicked or an object was used.'' The woman guessed Kicked and got it right. It was 37% of the kids who said they were kicked. Then he asked where the kids were assaulted, School, in the neighborhood or at home. She guessed School and got it right. Then it was the time of day.. morning, afternoon or evening. She guessed afternoon and got it right. She won the tickets. KC had a few more of his lame statistics so he read them. Then after everyone talked about their own ''hit in the nuts'' story KC told Howard some stories about what he used to do in college. The story that hit Howard as really funny was how KC used to take a pizza box, cut a hole in it and put it on his lap. He'd then have his ''pin'' (penis) stick up through the hole. Then he'd ask people in the dorm if they wanted the last piece of pizza. They'd open the box and his penis would be hanging in the box. Howard laughed hysterically at the thought of it. KC also had a story about how he crapped in a cookie box to get back at this guy who used to sleep nude in his bed.

• Gary Garver Celebrity Interviews. 5/17/99. 7:10am
  Gary Garver was out at some celebrity golf event and got interviews with Samuel L. Jackson, Joe Pesci and Jack Nicholson. Both Jackson and Pesci stuck around for quite a few questions. Here are a few of Samuel L. Jackson's questions:
  • If you wern't in show business what would you be doing?
  • Have you ever done a film where you knew the script was crap?
  • Have you ever gotten aroused in a love scene?
  • Have you ever smoked pot?
  • Have you ever had a gay experience?
  • You're such a wonderful actor can I smell your armpits?
  Sam wasn't upset or anything, he went along with the questions pretty well. Joe Pesci was next. Pesci was more than happy to answer the questions. Once he found out Gary was doing the questions for Howard he answered each and every question.
  • If you wern't in show business what would you be doing? - don't know
  • Have you ever done a film where you knew the script was crap?
  • Have you ever gotten aroused in a love scene?
  • What do you think of Howard Stern?
  • Who's the biggest asshole in Holywood?
  • Are there too many jews in Hollywood?
  • How often do you masturbate?
  • How many dates do you have before introducing anal sex to a woman?
  • Have you ever cheated on your wife?
  • Have you ever had a gay sex experience?
  • Do you feel guilty playing golf when people are suffering in Kosovo?
  Nicholson didn't answer any questions and some guy threatened Gary and his cameraman after asking 2 questions.
  • Would you ever play a homo in movie?
  • Have you banged more than 500 broads?

• Joe Jenkins' Human Manure Book. 5/17/99. 7:50am
  This guy Joe Jenkins called in to talk about his book ''The Humanure Handbook : A Guide to Composting Human Manure.'' The book tells you how you can use human excrement as fertilizer. He explained to Howard how his family uses their own crap to fertilize their own food. They use special plastic tanks to catch their waste in sawdust. Then they compost it and use it in their garden. Howard took a bunch of phone calls from people who were upset that this guy does such a thing. Most of them said that there are a lot of diseases that can be transmitted through the food that the fertilizer is being used for. Jenkins argued with them but none of them wanted to hear it. You can find out more about Joe and his book at www.jenkinspublishing.com.

• Drug Stories. 5/17/99. 8:40am
  Howard came back from a commercial break and started telling Robin about one of his friends who likes to do the drug Ecstasy. He didn't want to tell her who it was but it soon became obvious it was Ralph. That led to a long discussion about what the drug does for Ralph and how much he enjoys it. Then Gary joined in the discussion and told Howard about his days of doing cocaine. Howard also joined in and said that his favorite drug was Quaaludes. They all had their own stories of the ups and downs, mostly ups, of doing these drugs. Ralph said he likes to mix Ecstasy and pot because it makes him feel good. Gary said that he had to quit the coke habit about 9 years ago because he was getting too old to handle it.

• More Of KC's Confusing Games. 5/17/99. 8:55am
  A woman called in and asked if she could get some tickets to the Daytime Emmy awards show. Howard had 5 pair to give away so he decided to play a game with the woman. KC came in with a list of games they could play. He had choices like Crackhead Bob game, Kicked in the Nuts game, Name that Tune and the Nutty True or False game. They finally settled on the Kicked in the Nuts game. KC said that some guy did a study of kids between 10 and 16 and he had the statistics set up as questions. He explained the first question but it was really confusing to Howard so he made KC move on. The woman on the phone had to get 3 out of 5 correct to win the tickets. The first question was something like ''The kids who were assaulted in the nuts were either hit, kicked or an object was used.'' The woman guessed Kicked and got it right. It was 37% of the kids who said they were kicked. Then he asked where the kids were assaulted, School, in the neighborhood or at home. She guessed School and got it right. Then it was the time of day.. morning, afternoon or evening. She guessed afternoon and got it right. She won the tickets. KC had a few more of his lame statistics so he read them. Then after everyone talked about their own ''hit in the nuts'' story KC told Howard some stories about what he used to do in college. The story that hit Howard as really funny was how KC used to take a pizza box, cut a hole in it and put it on his lap. He'd then have his ''pin'' (penis) stick up through the hole. Then he'd ask people in the dorm if they wanted the last piece of pizza. They'd open the box and his penis would be hanging in the box. Howard laughed hysterically at the thought of it. KC also had a story about how he crapped in a cookie box to get back at this guy who used to sleep nude in his bed.

• Baseball Pitcher David Wells Calls In. 5/17/99. 9:30am
  Ex-New York Yankees pitcher David Wells called in to talk to Howard for a few minutes this morning. Wells was traded to Toronto this season even after he threw a perfect game last year for the Yanks. Wells mentioned in an article that one of the things he misses most about New York is Howard's show. Howard thanked him for that today. Wells told Howard that he has a new son with the woman he was dating the last time he was on the show. He didn't marry her and she's now just a friend but Howard said he was disappointed in him for doing that. Howard told him he had it made and he screwed it up. Wells also said his old friend David Cone blew him off when he was in town recently. He was a little upset about that but he's made new friends on the new team.

• Filmmaker Michael Moore Calls In. 5/17/99. 9:40am
  Michael Moore, who made the documentary ''Roger and Me'', called in to plug his new TV show ''The Awful Truth'' this morning. The new TV show airs on the Bravo network Sunday nights at 9pm and repeats on Friday nights at 10. Howard and Moore spoke a little bit about the whole Littleton, Colorado situation that Howard went through. Moore defended what Howard did in an interview so Howard thanked him for that. Moore pointed out how ''Newsweek'' used sexual references in their article about the massacre but they don't get any backlash like Howard did. Moore also told Howard about some of the stuff they're doing on his new show. He has a 24 hour a day web camera set up to take away the privacy of the woman who got Linda Tripp to tape record Monica Lewinsky. The site is at www.iseelucy.com if you want to check it out for yourself. Before Howard got off the phone with Michael he got an update on Moore's FCC confrontation. The last time Moore was on the show he told Howard that he was going to go after the FCC and find out why they're targeting Howard. He also said he'd try to get back the money that was paid for the fines against Howard. Moore said he got the interview with some guy with the FCC but when he brought up Howard's name the guy said ''interview over!'' Moore wanted to know why the FCC was fining Howard for talking about sex when all of the news channels talked about the Monica Lewinsky/President Clinton sex thing and didn't get fined. Moore said that he filled out a complaint form against MSNBC for their sex talk. Then he went out on the street and got people to donate money to give back to Howard. Moore said that they got hundreds of dollars donated to support Howard. He said he just needs to present it to Howard to finish the story. Howard said he'd probably donate the money to a charity.

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  -- Tuesday May 18, 1999 --

• Gary's Sex Talk Sickens Listener. 5/18/99. 6:40am
  A female listener called in to tell Howard how she gets nauseous whenever Gary talks about having sex. Last week he must have been talking about sex and the woman on the phone said she literally got sick hearing it. Gary quickly came in to the studio and started telling a story about how he had sex with his wife at a party recently. The two of them went in to a coat room at a condo clubhouse and did it. The woman on the phone was gagging at every little detail Gary gave about the event. Gary said the two of them just went at it and when they were done they went back out to the party and no one knew what they had just done. In the mean time the woman on the phone was dry-heaving.

• Howard Sending Secret Messages To Terry? 5/18/99. 6:50am
  This guy Terry thinks that Howard is calling out his name over the radio. He came down today to find out what it is that Howard wants from him. Terry claims that he hears his name whispered out over the radio by Howard in the Minneapolis \ St. Paul market. He also says that it happens throughout the day but only over the radio. Terry is married and he's played tapes of the show for his wife but she doesn't hear it. Howard found out that Terry was in the Marines at one time and Howard figures that may be what screwed him up. Howard told him that he should get some help as soon as possible so he doesn't go totally nuts. Terry said he'd seek help as soon as he gets home to Minnesota. As Terry was leaving Howard started sending out messages about sending him money in small bills.

• Does Jackie Enjoy Being Angry? 5/18/99. 7:50am
  45 minutes of goofing on Jackie is what this turned into. It all started when Howard started talking about how Jackie backed out of a Friar's Club roast he agreed to do. For years Jackie has complained about how he doesn't get invited to do these celebrity roasts for the Friar's Club. He finally got invited to do one for Freddie Roman and he backed out at the last minute. That led to a discussion about Jackie and how he seems to like being angry at everything. Jackie thinks that he should have been doing these roasts 10 years ago, not now. He also wants to do them for more mainstream celebrities, not Freddie Roman. Howard seems to think that even the way Jackie lives, with his 3 small homes, is a way of keeping himself angry with something to complain about. It's also a way of showing his friends that he hasn't really ''made it'' in show business. Howard says Jackie could buy a really nice home if he sold off some of his properties but he just sticks with them so he can remain angry. Then it turns out he just inherited another home somehow so he's actually got 4 homes to care for. Jackie said he's got reasons for staying in Bayville but he doesn't feel like sharing them with anyone. Even Stuttering John has a nicer home than Jackie which is only 6 blocks away from him. John is right on the beach whereas Jackie is a short walk away. Stuttering John and Ralph were in the studio giving their input on the whole thing. John was telling everyone about how small Jackie's house is and how you sit right up against Jackie's 60 inch TV when you go over there. When he throws a party the dining room table has to go through a window so it fits. Even bloated attorney Dominic Barbara called in with his Jackie story. He went over and Jackie brought him up to his 4 ½ foot high attic bedroom to show him the view of the water through a six inch window. This could have gone on all morning but Howard had to take a break. Later in the show Jackie's sister Katie called in. She was upset that a caller called Jackie's whole family ''trash.'' Katie said she didn't want to be thrown in with Jackie's trash. Howard said that Katie is really attractive and you wouldn't know she's Jackie's sister. Katie said that some people tell her she's like the ''Marilyn Munster'' of the family.

• Another KC True False Game. 5/18/99. 8:55am
  Howard had more tickets to give away this morning so he had KC come in with his True False game. The first player got his 3 out of 5 questions correct:
  • It's possible to cough up your guts - True
  • People with hairy shoulders have a greater life expectancy - False
  • Parasites make up .01 percent of your body weight - True
  Howard had more trouble giving away the second set of tickets. He went through some wacky callers and settled on Rodney who made it really difficult. Instead of just saying true or false he would give long answers. They actually gave him 7 questions since he didn't win 3 out of 5. Eventually he won.
  • Drinking apple juice in outer space causes impotence - False
  • People with curly hair are more likely to wear hats - False
  • If you lick the bottom of your bathtub you get the USDA of Zinc - False
  • If you do a pirouette in front of the pyramids in Egypt you'll be arrested - False
  • Wearing a ring makes you point more often - False
  • The longest tapeworm ever found in a human was 33 meters long - True
  • Germs present in human feces can pass through 10 layers of toilet paper - True
  Rodney got most of the questions wrong but Howard kept giving him more until he got the last one correct.

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  -- Wednesday May 19, 1999 --

• Star Wars Episode 1 Reviews. 5/19/99. 6:15am
  Now that the new ''Star Wars'' movie is offically out Howard took some phone calls from listeners who saw it last night. Howard saw the premiere about a week and a half ago and he wasn't impressed even though he's a huge ''Star Wars'' fan. The listeners reviews were mixed. The people who liked the movie told Howard they think he's mad at George Lucas for re-releasing the original ''Star Wars'' movie at the same time ''Private Parts'' was released in 1997. Howard said that's not true at all. Of course there were a few callers who agreed with Howard that ''Episode 1'' didn't live up to the hype.

• Riley Martin Talks Aliens. 5/19/99. 7:05am
  This guy Riley Martin has been on the show in the past. He wrote a book called ''The Coming Of Tan'' which is about his meetings with aliens. He didn't talk a lot about the aliens today. Howard was more interested in finding out about why he expected to get paid for doing the show today. Riley left a voice mail for Gary telling him he wanted some money for doing the show but they don't pay their guests. Riley basically said that he needs money to help his cause...whatever the hell that is. Some guy who said he's Riley's brother was also at the station. It turns out he's just a friend of Riley's who came down. Howard let him come in for the interview also. Riley doesn't like the word ''follower'' for people who are his fans. He took offense to it whenever Howard called them that. This guy Eric who came in wasn't a ''follower'', he's just a friend. Howard took some phone calls for Riley and a few people think he's nuts. Riley got upset over that also. You can find out more about ''The Coming of Tan'' on Riley's web site at www.tradenet.net/TheComingOfTan or call (609) 397-8446.

• Howard And Dave Evaluated. 5/19/99. 7:55am
  This guy Dave was calling in to the show every day recently and calling Howard ''Pinnochio'' because of his large nose. Eventually Howard decided that he wanted to see what Dave looked like so he invited him down to be evaluated. There were three women from various magazines and modeling agencies to evaluated the two of them. Brandon Holly, GQ Magazine's Style Editor, was one woman. Nicole Beland, Associate Editor of Cosmopolitan magazine, was another one and finally, Stephanie Grill, director of the Click Modeling Agency, was number 3. Howard had Dave come in to get this over with. Dave had some so-called comedy material to go through but it was so unfunny that Howard made him move on. Then Dave sang a song which also sucked the life out of the show. Howard then had each of the 3 women evaluate Dave. Dave is 47 years old, 5'8'' tall with grey hair and a broad, flat nose and a pot belly. Brandon rated Dave at a 6, Nicole gave him a 5 and Stephanie gave him a 7. She said that he has potential as a model! Total score - 18. Howard then got up and got his evaluation. Brandon gave him an 8, Nicole gave him a 7, and Stephanie gave him a 9½! Nicole thought that Howard's ass was flat but he pulled down his baggy pants and showed her how round it actually is. Both Nicole and Stephanie said his nose gives him character. Nicole said it was ''Statuesque.'' Total score for Howard - 24½. Dave agreed that if he lost he'd have to call Howard every day for 3 weeks and address him as ''Handsome'' instead of Pinnochio.

• Darren's Wife And Girlfriend Evaluated. 5/19/99. 8:35am
  That's right, this guy Darren has a wife and a girlfriend and the brought both of them in to get evaluated by Howard and the gang. The evaluation never really happened because Howard was more interested in finding out how this guy can have both a wife and girlfriend at the same time. Darren is a wrestler, known as Dirty Deeds Darren, who's been with his wife for about 10 years or so. He just married her about 10 months ago but they've known each other for quite a long time. Howard spoke to Darren for a few minutes about the whole situation then brought in the 33 year old wife, Robin. Howard said that she's very attractive. She has breast implants that are only about 8 months old. She was wearing a bikini and looked pretty good for a 33 year old who's had 2 kids. Robin told Howard that she knows how men can be so she figured she'd let Darren be with a woman she knows about. He's on the road quite a bit doing his wrestling thing and the other woman is around him a lot. Robin thinks that the other woman, Kim, respects their marriage and isn't out to steal Darren away. 23 year old Kim was also in a bikini and she had some implants also. Howard asked Darren which one was better in bed. Darren was stumped for a second then said that they're each unique in their own ways. Howard said this is the perfect marriage. All three of them came up in the same car from Pennsylvania. They even stayed in the same hotel room but Darren slept with his wife. Before they left Howard got the two women to kiss each other. They were pretty nervous and said they didn't get too excited over the kiss though.

• Howard Checks Out www.honez.com. 5/19/99. 9:15am
  This woman called Howard and gave him her web site address so he could check her out. She has a camera set up that refreshes every 30 seconds so you can see what she's up to. Howard got on and put her on the phone. He wanted her to do some weird stuff for him so he asked her to go to the bathroom on camera. She agreed to do it but she didn't want to do it on the floor. She went and got a plastic cup to go in. Eventually the picture refreshed and Howard saw her pissing in the cup. He said it looks like she takes vitamins. Howard then asked her if she was thirsty.. She didn't want to drink it of course. The woman said she makes $3000-$4000 a month with the web site. She charges $19.95 a month for access. Check it out at www.honez.com.

• More On Star Wars. 5/19/99. 9:25am
  Stuttering John was out on the street with some of the people waiting in line to see ''Episode 1.'' Howard spoke to one nut who was dressed up as Darth Maul, one of the evil characters in the movie. Howard spent about a minute with the guy and got sickened by it. John said he had another guy there dressed as Obi Wan but Howard said he was done with it. After that Howard said that Scott the Engineer took his son out of school today to bring him to see the movie. Howard had Scott come into the studio so he could ask him why he would do such a dopey thing. Scott could have waited until the weekend to bring his son to the movie or even wait until after school hours to do it. Scott said that his son has been getting very good grades so he figured he'd reward him for that by taking him out of school for one day. Howard thinks that it's wrong to teach your children that a movie is more important than going to school. He thinks that Scott just wants to be a hero for his son. Everyone spent a few minutes goofing on Scott while he was in the studio.

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  -- Thursday May 20, 1999 --

• Howard Talks About Rosie O'Donnell. 5/20/99. 6:10am
  Yesterday Rosie O'Donnell argued with Tom Selleck about guns on her TV show. The two of them argued over gun control and the NRA on the show and it became big news. Howard was amazed that a ''real'' discussion with a celebrity became big news. A listener called in with tape of the show and Howard listened to it. Rosie complains about the NRA and gun control yet she does ads for K-Mart which actually sells guns. Howard decided that he wanted to go over to Rosie's show and try to get on to have a debate over guns. He thinks that Rosie picked on Selleck because he was an easy target. His answers were kind of dopey also. Howard said that he'd not only talk about guns but other things that Rosie doesn't usually talk about. He wants to bring up her sex life and her weight. Throughout the morning Gary was behind the scenes trying to set up a remote truck so they can broadcast from Rosie's show over at Rockefeller Center. They even tried walkie talkies and cellular phones. Gary came in with the good news around 8:00 that they had the truck set up. They'd even have a camera crew so Robin can watch in the studio.

• Dr. Remulak Calls In. 5/20/99. 6:30am
  Dr. Remulac, the nutty caller with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder who just repeats the words ''I am Dr. Remulac'' over and over again when he calls, called in to find out something about Howard. The thing about this guy is that he will only talk to Stuttering John. If anyone else answers the phone he just says ''I am Dr. Remulak.'' This morning Howard wouldn't let Remulak ask John the question. He made Remulak ask the question himself even though it's really hard for him. Stuttering John told Howard that Remulak wanted to ask him about what he dreamt last night. Howard said he had an interesting answer for that but Remulak had to ask the question. Remulak finally broke down and blurted out the question ''What did you dream?'' then repeated ''I am Dr. Remulac'' over and over again. Howard said that he didn't have any dreams last night. They then asked Remulak when he'd be coming down to the studio to meet everyone. Remulak accidentally answered Robin by saying ''July.'' Robin said that he must be making progress. Howard hung up on Remulak after that and John told him that the guy had a dream about Africa and numbers but didn't get into any more detail than that.

• Shantel's Oprah Story. 5/20/99. 7:35am
  This woman Shantel called in with a story about what a scumbag Oprah Winfrey is. Howard summed up the story so they didn't drag it out too long. Shantel's 13 year old niece has a brain tumor. She tried to get the kid on the show but she never got the call back. The producers told her that if she didn't get picked to do the show she could still meet Oprah and shake her hand. After receiving a gift package of a t-shirt, mug and signed picture they got a phone call telling them that Oprah has a strict policy that she can't meet sick children because she can't meet all of them. Needless to day, Shantel is upset over the whole thing.

• Phone Problems. 5/20/99. 7:45am
  During a phone call this morning there was a very strange jackhammer-like sound coming over every few seconds. Howard assumed that it was the caller's phone but he put up with it for a few minutes. It even became entertaining after a while. Fred would throw in some real jackhammer sound effects. Howard asked the guy if he'd shoot his phone to put a stop to the sound. Later in the show another caller had the exact same problem. It turned out to be the main hotline that was causing the problem. Scott the Engineer eventually came in and when asked what was going on he responded ''Apparently there's a problem...'' Howard tried a couple of the other lines and they were okay. While Scott was in the room Howard asked him how he liked ''Star Wars Episode 1'' which he went to see yesterday. Scott said overall he liked it. He said it was better than ''Return of the Jedi'' but not as good as the other two.

• Bob Guccione Jr. Comes In. 5/20/99. 8:30am
  Magazine publisher Bob Guccione Jr. came in to promote his new magazine ''Gear'' this morning. Bob Jr. is the son of the publisher of ''Penthouse'' magazine, Bob Guccione Sr. Jr. Said he hasn't spoken to his father since 1986. Jr. Started ''Spin'' magazine and recently sold it for $43 million. He got 16 of that for himself and went out and started the new magazine. Howard spent a while talking to Bob about his relationship with his father and the new mag. Bob said that when he was a young kid, around 9, his father would let him read ''Penthouse'' and ''Playboy.'' He said it was almost required reading in the house. Howard tried to get some good stories out of Bob but there wasn't much there. The new magazine is a mens magazine but it doesn't have naked women in it. Just sexy women dressed in bikini's and stuff like that. This month's issue features Cindy Margolis on the cover.

• Howard Heads To Rosie O'Donnell Show. 5/20/99. 9:00am
  As Howard ended the interview with Bob Guccione he got on a cellular phone so he could head out to go down to the Rosie O'Donnell show. He did his live commercial spots while he was on the phone. Around 9:10 Howard arrived at NBC where they shoot Rosie's show. He said there were like hundreds of reporters waiting for him there. He made his way out of the car he was in and the reporters just started yelling out questions. They wanted to know why he was there so he let them know. He told them he was there to prove what a hypocrite Rosie is. He thinks that Rosie should resign from doing commercials for K-Mart and picking on Tom Selleck was like talking to a retarded child. Howard slowly made his way to the NBC building to see if he could go up to Rosie's show. The security desk told Howard that they were told not to let him up. The crowd that was following Howard around started chanting ''LET HOWARD IN, LET HOWARD IN'' but it didn't help. Howard made his way back to his car as the reporters continued to yell out questions. One woman yelled out ''You suck!'' to him and Howard got really pissed. ''Come here you bitch, I'll kick your ass..'' he said. As Howard got in the car he was coughing from yelling so much. He then headed back to the studio. He had to keep switching from the remote microphone to the cellular phone through the whole thing. Howard said he didn't really expect them to let him on the show. ''It proves what a hypocrite she really is.'' he said. Once Howard got back to the studio and settled back in he talked about the experience. As he was pulling away from the massive mob of people Ronnie the limo driver put his window down for some reason. Howard asked about that and Ronnie told him it was one of the E! guys trying to get a shot of him driving away from the scene. Howard couldn't believe that happened. He told Ronnie that he shouldn't roll down the window with that many people around. Howard took a bunch of calls from listeners who couldn't believe they wouldn't let Howard on the show.

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  -- Friday May 21, 1999 --

• Governor Jesse Ventura Cancels Appearance. 5/21/99. 6:15am
  Howard has been promoting the fact that Jesse Ventura was going to be appearing on the show in June to promote his book. Well, Ventura has canceled his appearance and Howard had his thoughts on why he canceled. Howard thinks that Ventura is quickly becoming the politician that everyone thought he wouldn't be. He thinks that all of his ''people'' got to him after Howard started promoting the appearance and got him to change his mind. According to Gary, Ventura has tried getting on the show in the past but they weren't able to get to him. Howard said that Ventura is a phony and he's disappointed in this decision.

• The Mike Walker Gossip Game. 5/21/99. 7:25am
  Howard was supposed to play the gossip game with supermodel James King but she showed up late today. So instead he just played with Robin and Jackie. Mike calls in each week with 4 gossip stories. 3 of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column, one is false. Here are this week's 4 stories, try to pick the false one.
  1. While walking through the woods on a movie set, actress Alyssa Milano found an envelope stuck in a bush. It turned out to be a $1200 check that had blown 200 miles during the recent Oklahoma tornados.
  2. Actor Kevin Costner invited a Penthouse Pet over to his home to have a catered dinner with him. During the evening 27 other women showed up at his house. He said that he was just having a few friends over so the Penthouse Pet walked out.
  3. Rosie O'Donnell has only been able to lose 6 pounds on her own weight loss plan that she does for her show.
  4. When director James Cameron and his ex-wife Linda Hamilton meet to pick up their daughter they don't speak to each other. They pass notes through the daughter.
  Both Howard and Robin picked number 2 as the false story. Jackie picked number 1. The actual false story was number one. Jackie may be back on a roll since losing last week's game.

• Comedian Damon Wayans Comes In. 5/21/99. 7:25am
  Damon Wayans came in to promote his book ''Bootleg'' this morning. Howard has been playing tapes from Damon's HBO special for a few weeks now and he thinks he's really funny. Howard spent time talking to Damon about his life and how he grew up poor and as a Jahova's witness. Damon now lives in Beverly Hills with his four kids. He told a story about how he got a colonic not too long ago and he accidentally crapped on the table he was lying on. He said he was scheduled for 12 visits but only went to the one. He said he was traumatized by the experience. Damon will be signing his book at the Barnes and Nobel in Paramus, NJ tonight at 7pm. The book is based on his stand-up comedy routines.

• Supermodel James King Comes In. 5/21/99. 8:15am
  20 year old model James(Jamie) King came in to meet Howard this morning. The young model has been through quite a bit in her short career. Howard said she's in Maxim Magazine's top 50 most beautiful people list at number 16. She told Howard how she got started in modeling at 15 and was doing heroin by 16. She said that didn't last long though. Howard also noticed that she had a tongue piercing. He figured it was so she could give good oral sex but she said it was just a trendy thing to do. She also said that she has 9 tattoos on her body. Howard said she must be pretty loose to have all of that going on. He also said she has a nice rack for being so skinny. She said they're not implants and that they started developing at a very early age. James will be at a charity event for Details Magazine that helps out the Fresh Air Fund for inner city kids. They raise money so the kids can go to came. She'll be there this Saturday at Chelsea Piers in Manhattan from 1-7pm.

• William Shatner Comes In. 5/21/99. 8:50am
  William Shatner, Captain Kirk on ''Star Trek'', came in to promote so many things today. The main thing was his new book ''Get a Life'' which is about Star Trek fans who go to these conventions. Shatner also brought a rapper by the name of Rated R in with him. The two of them did a song for a movie called ''Free Enterprise.'' Shatner does some Shakespeare reading in the song while Rated R raps incoherently. Howard played some of the song for everyone. Howard spent some time talking about this new book. The book isn't negative toward the Star Trek fans. Shatner said that it's just the opposite. Shatner said that he went to some conventions in disguise and found out that the fans do the conventions to be part of a big fraternity of 'Trek fans. Howard also brought up Priceline.com because Shatner is a spokesman for the company and he was given stock options as part of his payment. Howard thought that Shatner made $7 million when the stock first came out but Shatner said he can't sell the stock for 3 years so it's not worth anything right now. Howard also spoke to Shatner about his new young wife for a short bit. Then he brought in this guy Randy who claims to be Shatner's biggest fan. Randy brought in a bunch of his collectible toys and dressed up in a Star Trek costume. You wouldn't know he was a fan because he was very confrontational with Shatner. He questioned him about Priceline.com because in the new book he claims that he's deathly afraid of flying. Randy thought it's funny he does the commercials for a company that gets people cheap airline tickets if he doesn't like to fly. Eventually Randy disturbed Shatner so much that they had to remove him from the room. Shatner also threw in a quick mention of another book of his ''Dark Victory (Star Trek)'' and stuck around to do the live Priceline.com commercial with Howard. Mr. Shatner will be signing books for only 1 hour at the Book Review in Huntington, Long Island tonight.