Howard Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 4/26/99 to 4/30/99

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-- Monday April 26, 1999 --
• Polio Mike Celebrity Interviews. 4/26/99. 7:00am
  This guy Polio Mike went out and did a couple of quick interviews with Alan King and Ray Romano. He just asked the two of them what they thought of Howard. Alan King claims that he's never seen or heard Howard perform in anything. Howard thinks that he's full of crap and he's just a jealous old man. Howard said that he'd like to give King a lie detector test to see if he's lying about never hearing him on the radio. Ray Romano, on the other hand, told Polio Mike that he's a fan of Howard's and just saw Howard's E! show with porn star Houston giving away sex to one lucky listener.

• Robin At ''Oz'' Wrap Party. 4/26/99. 7:40am
  Robin quickly mentioned that she was at the wrap party for the HBO (or is that Showtime?) series ''Oz'' the other night. She went to the event with Ralph. Robin said that Chuck Zito invited her to the party and she really enjoyed it. She didn't give a lot of details but said it was like a Scores party for her. She loved seeing all of the hot guys at the party.

• Gary Garver Celebrity Interviews. 4/26/99. 7:50am
  Howard's Los Angeles interviewer, Gary Garver, went to some event and got interviews with Gary Coleman, Raquel Welch, Martin Lawrence, Magic Johnson, Rick James and Eddie Murphy. Gary had a bunch of generic questions he asked of most of the celebrities. He got Gary Coleman to answer most of them. They were questions like..
  1. What do you think of the bombings in Yugoslavia?
  2. Will there ever be a black President in the U.S.?
  3. Why were there no black Oscar nominees this year?
  4. Does the media treat blacks negatively?
  5. Would you let Eddie Murphy smell your feet?
  Coleman answered all of the questions like it was a serious interview...at least until he was asked if he'd let Eddie Murphy smell his feet. Raquel Welch answered a few questions and even said she likes Howard. She said she thinks he's ''cool.'' Her last question was ''Is penis size important?'' She just said ''pass'' and wouldn't answer the question. Martin Lawrence didn't last long with the questions. When Gary asked him ''Are you popular with the bitches?'' he was out of there. Magic also answered a couple of the generic questions and one about having Howard on his TV show. He said that ''Howard is Howard'' but didn't really bad mouth him. Rick James answered a few of the generics and actually said that he would let Eddie Murphy smell his feet. Eddie Murphy wasn't very talkative. Gary asked him ''Why don't you call Jackie Martling anymore?'' That was asked because Jackie claims that he and Eddie used to car pool together when Eddie was starting out.. Eddie just kept saying ''Who?'' until Gary threw in the ''Jackie the JokeMan'' part. Eddie wouldn't answer any more questions after that.

• More Gary Garver Interviews. 4/26/99. 8:30am
  Howard played a couple more quick Gary Garver interviews this morning. Gary got a quick one with Charlton Heston. Gary asked Heston a couple of questions about the shootings in Colorado then asked him ''Do you ever get drunk and pretend to be Moses?'' and something about yelling out a line from ''Planet of the Apes.'' Of course Heston was out of there by then. Gary also interviewed Edward James Olmos. He asked about the Colorado shootings and Olmos went on and on for a minute about praying for the families of the victims. Then Gary asked him ''Who's the biggest asshole in Hollywood?'' Olmos said the industry as a whole is the biggest asshole. Gary also asked ''Have you ever taken Prozac?'' and ''Have you ever been in rehab?'' Olmos answered ''no'' to both. Gary also asked Olmos what he thinks of Howard. He said that he loves Howard. Then Gary asked him how often he masturbates. Olmos said that he does it every day!

• Julia Roberts Phone Call Replayed. 4/26/99. 8:35am
  Howard replayed the phone call from last Friday between he and Julia Roberts. She called in pretty late in the show so he figured that a lot of people probably missed it. You can read about it in my Daily Highlight Archives.

• Stephen Baldwin Calls In. 4/26/99. 9:10am
  Actor Stephen Baldwin called in to promote the ABC mini-series, Dean Koontz's ''Mr. Murder'', which airs tonight. He also mentioned his movie ''One Tough Cop'' that he plugged the last time he was on the show. Howard said he saw it but didn't really like it that much. He said he sat through the whole thing but didn't really think it was that good. Then he changed his mind and said that he did like it but critiqued the movie a little bit. It was just a little bit too low budget according to Howard. Stephen also plugged his buddy's web site ''The Hollywood Stock Exchange.'' He said that they'll be advertising on Howard's show soon and explained a little bit about it. Howard took a bunch of phone calls for Stephen before ending the segment. Almost all of the calls were negative of course. So many people hate when Stephen is on.

• Homeless Crackhead Chick Comes In. 4/26/99. 10:10am
  Some homeless woman came in crying late this morning. Apparently she's a homeless woman who wants to get her book of poems published and hasn't had any luck. She said she and her mother are homeless and her kid was taken away from her. Howard was most surprised when the woman said she's Jewish. He seemed to find it very hard to believe that a Jew is homeless. She wanted Howard's advice on how to get her book published but he didn't have any suggestions. She said she's tried to give the book to publishers but they don't want it. ''Well, what does that tell you?'' Howard asked. Obviously they don't want to publish her book. Howard told her to get off the crack and get in shape, then she could get on with her life. By the end of the discussion the woman was crying again. She must have been overweight because as she was leaving Howard told her to ''Keep your chins up!''

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  -- Tuesday April 27, 1999 --

• Howard's Trouble In Denver. 4/27/99. 6:05am
  Howard's got trouble in Denver. It seems that a competitor in the radio market there has taken one of Howard's comments about the Columbine High School shootings out of context and played it on their station over and over again. This has outraged the Denver area and now Howard may be kicked off of KXPK, The Peak. Howard defended himself for the first hour of the show explaining where the comment came from. The discussion he was having was brought up by a listener who commented on how some of the high school girls ''looked pretty hot'' on the news the night of the shootings. Howard was trying to come up with a motive for the shootings and said something like ''..at least if you're going to kill yourself and kill all the kids, why wouldn't you have some sex?'' The competition in Denver took that comment and turned it into a witch hunt for Howard. Howard said 8 advertisers have dropped from KXPK and the General Manager of the station freaked out and had an apology running on the station. Howard pointed out that if the other station was really sensitive to the feelings of the Denver area they wouldn't keep playing Howard's out-of-context comment over and over again. Howard spent even more time reviewing it all later in the show also.

• Rapper Eminem Comes In. 4/27/99. 7:10am
  White Rapper Eminem came in to talk about his album ''The Slim Shady LP'' and growing up in Detroit. Howard's already done a few parodies of Eminem's song ''My Name Is'' and finally decided to have the guy on the show. Howard seemed fascinated by the fact that Eminem talks like a black guy, yet he's white. It turns out that he grew up in Detroit in a black neighborhood. The two of them spent time talking about Eminem's screwed up childhood. His father left him when he was a baby and his mother was a mess. According to Eminem his mother made a living by suing people. She'd also hurt her kids on purpose then bring them to the hospital to get people to feel sorry for her. One time she even had Eminem sent to jail by calling in a false police report about him beating her with a dumbbell. Now she's even threatening to sue him over some comments he's made about her. He's still in touch with her though because he has a younger brother he talks to. Before Eminem left Howard took a few phone calls for him. There were a few listeners who really dislike this guy because he's white and he raps. One caller called him a ''one hit wonder'' and said we'll never hear another song from him. Howard also played a quick clip of the song ''Come On Everybody'' from the ''The Slim Shady LP.''

• Howard's Sex Slave. 4/27/99. 8:25am
  This woman, Solitaire, called in recently and offered to be Howard's sex slave. She came in this morning and the first thing Howard noticed was that she was mulatto. They asked her if it was her mother or father who was black. She wasn't sure at first. That led to the discovery that Solitaire was adopted when she was young. Then they found out that the adoption was illegal so she's now ''not adopted anymore.'' Solitaire said she just met her real mother recently. She also claimed that she was abused when she was with the adoptive family. The reason she came in today was to try and get breast implants. She showed Howard her breasts and they looked pretty bad. She was also a little overweight. Howard got Dr. Calabro on the phone to find out if he'd be willing to donate the implants. Dr. Calabro said it was up to Howard so he decided to give them to her. Howard was planning on smearing mayonnaise on Solitaire's ass and tossing bologna on it but he started having second thoughts. After taking a commercial break he asked Solitaire if she was up for it, she was. Howard went on to smear a jar of Hellman's mayonnaise all over her ass. He said her bathing suit was the size of a tablecloth because her ass was so big. He spent a couple of minutes smearing then he and Jackie started tossing the food. Jackie went first and got a piece of bologna right in the middle of Solitaire's ass. Howard was laughing his ass off. Then he tossed a piece and it stuck right in the mayo. The also threw some cheese and bread to make a nice big ass sandwich. Howard wrapped up the segment right after they tossed the food. He told Solitaire to get her implants and get some fat sucked out then come back to show off her new look.

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  -- Wednesday April 28, 1999 --

• Leonard Nimoy Not Coming In. 4/28/99. 6:05am
  Howard said that there was a chance that Leonard Nimoy would be doing the show today but he wasn't sure. Nimoy's people told Howard's people that he may do the show but his plane was stuck somewhere and he may call in at 8:30 but if he wants to sleep then he wouldn't call in... So Howard told them to just cancel him. Nimoy is out promoting the new High Definition TV.

• Howard Condemned By Colorado State Legislature! 4/28/99. 6:10am
  That's right, Howard's comments about the Columbine High School shootings have gotten him condemned by the Colorado State Legislature. They want Howard removed from the radio station there because of the comments. Howard spent quite a bit of time discussing his nightmare yesterday and a little bit this morning. He said he's going to stop talking about it after today. It doesn't look good for Howard's future in the Denver market.

• World's Biggest Loser. 4/28/99. 7:15am
  Who's the World's Biggest Loser? Scott the Engineer of course. Howard loves to point out how much of a loser Scott the Engineer really is. Today he told a story of how Scott's home computer was hit by a computer virus yesterday. Most likely it was the Chernobyl virus that hit the computer. Howard said that the virus hit less than 10,000 out of 50 Million computers and Scott's was one of them. He said the computer started up the first time he turned it on but it locked up. When he rebooted it, there was nothing. He said all of his Rocket Entertainment files were wiped out. Poor Scott, he never gets a break.

• Miss Nude World. 4/28/99. 8:00am
  Both the past and present Miss Nude World's came in this morning. Shari, the new one, and Holly, the past winner, came in and hung out for about a half hour this morning. Howard spent time talking to them about the contest and how it all works. They don't win any money but they can use the title to be the feature at strip clubs. They make more money that way. Shari had huge F-cup breasts and eventually Howard got both of them to take off their tops. He also got them to kiss each other with their tops off. One listener called in and requested that the two women hug each other while kissing naked. They also did that for the guy. ''Oh God that's hot!'' Howard said while they were kissing. Howard said their makeup was all smeared after they kissed. Since the question of KC's sexuality is still in question, Howard asked him if he'd sleep with either of these women. He said he was attracted to Shari but admitted that he'd have to say ''no'' to sleeping with her. He doesn't like strippers because he thinks they're ''dirty girls.'' Howard said he'd ''throw on a balloon'' and have sex with them in a second. Shari is appearing at some place called Jill's Lounge in Tridelphia, West Virginia and Holly said she's appearing at the Crystal Palace in Worcester, MA.

• Barbie The Stripping Comedian. 4/28/99. 9:00am
  Howard had this woman Barbie come in to the studio who does a comedy act while she strips at clubs. When she came in to the studio Howard said to the Miss Nude World women, ''Welcome to the future!'' referring to how Barbie looked I assume. 38 year old Barbie then proceeded to ramble on in a monotone about how she does her act. She was telling jokes and explaining everything but none of it was funny. After a short 10 minutes Howard gave up and thanked her for coming in. He gave out a phone number for booking her for parties which was 888-456-3714. She left the studio and Howard was moving on to the next subject. He had a $1000 prize to give away courtesy of the ''Hercules'' TV show. They're celebrating their 100th episode this Saturday night so they gave Howard a $1000. Howard said that Benjy wanted to win the money so he had him come in to the studio. Benjy said he was willing to kiss a man for 10 seconds for the money. Instead they decided to have him kiss Barbie and they'd split the money between the two of them. Benjy said he thought her body was really nice but wasn't too thrilled with her face. They were supposed to french kiss for a full 10 seconds. Barbie whipped her top off and went for it. Benjy pulled away almost immediately. Everyone in the studio was gagging at the site of it. They actually kissed 2 more times but each one wasn't more than 2 seconds. Howard was disgusted by it and just told them to stop. By this time they said Benjy was sexually excited. Howard had to end it all because he had to take a commercial break.

• Howard Wants To Perform At Woodstock '99. 4/28/99. 9:35am
  Howard's planning on doing the radio show from the big Woodstock '99 this July. This morning he was wondering if he could perform at the event with his band ''The Losers.'' He talked himself out of that and said he'd like to jam with someone like Rob Zombie or Metallica. He spent a little while trying to sing the lyrics to Metallica's ''Enter Sandman.'' He loves the song but didn't have the lyrics right at all. We'll see what happens.

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  -- Thursday April 29, 1999 --

• The Best Of Stern. 4/29/99.
  Howard is out in Los Angeles on business today and tomorrow so we had ''Best of Stern'' to keep us entertained. He's had this planned for a while, it has nothing to do with the Colorado situation. Howard will return live next week. Here's what we heard today:
  • Phony Al Pachino phone call.
  • Stuttering John interviews Walter Cronkite.
  • Baba Booey sings ''My Teeth'' song.
  • Jerky Boys phony phone call.
  • Danny Sugarman calls in.
  • The infamous ABC/O.J. Simpson phony phone call.
  • Angry Latino calls in to complain.
  • Stuttering John gathers up a few black people to play Black Jeopardy.
  • Black Jeopardy.
  • Robin announces she wants to go by her full name.. Robin Ophelia Quivers.
  • Wacky Deborah on the phone tells Howard about his past lives.
  • Guess Who's The Jew with Kurt Waldheim Jr.
  • ''The Noises of Jackie Martling'' commercial parody.

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  -- Friday April 30, 1999 --

• The Best Of Stern. 4/30/99.
  More reruns today. Here's today's list of bits:
  • Gary's Tribute to Fred.
  • Elvis Presley Minute.
  • Howard complains about the hot studio off the air.
  • Captain Janks Atlanta fire phony phone call.
  • Gilbert ''Dracula'' Gottfried comes in.
  • Melody Patterson (Wrangler Jane on ''F-Troop'') calls in.
  • Howard complains about a show that Gary, Jackie and Stuttering John did in Atlantic City.
  • Howard bets Fred that a foreigner will answer the phone at a 7-11 convenience store.
  • Howard talks to an angry Hatian woman.