MarksFriggin.com - Stern Show News

Howard Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 4/19/99 to 4/23/99

-- Monday April 19, 1999 --

Julia Roberts Coming Soon. 4/19/99. 6:15am
Thanks to Robin's $12,000, Jackie's suggestion and Sal the Stockbroker's Horse Tooth Jackass references, Julia Roberts will be appearing on the Stern Show sometime in the very near future. Last Friday Gary was the auctioneer at a fund raiser for Rhet syndrome. Julia Roberts was there auctioning off a dress that she wore at one time. The bidding got up to around $6,000 Sal the Stockbroker started pushing for people to bid on the dress by telling them that if they didn't bid higher, Gary would breathe on them. Even Sal was in on the bidding and according to Gary, Sal bid $10,000 at one point. Sal said he had the money to back it up. Sal also went up to Julia and licked her armpit. He then made another reference to Gary by telling the audience that as bad as the armpit was, Gary's breath was worse. Eventually Jackie told Robin to make the $12,000 bid only if Julia would agree to do Howard's show. She agreed and now Robin's $12,000 is history. Gary said he'd be contacting Julia's people today and he'll try to get her to do the show this week.
Howard Thanks Congressman Serano. 4/19/99. 7:35am
Howard took the time to personally thank Congressman Serano this morning. Serano recently confronted the FCC about how they seem to only fine Howard and not all of the other ''offensive'' shows that are on the air. He suggested that the complaints filed against Howard could possibly be from his competition. Howard read about this and thought it was a great thing for Serano to do. This morning Serano called in and Howard thanked him for doing it. Howard also suggested to the Congressman that he look in to how much money the FCC is wasting.
Stallone And Swayze. 4/19/99. 8:20am
No it's not Sylvester Stallone and Patrick Swayze, it's Frank Stallone and Don Swayze. Howard's been telling everyone that he was going to have Stallone, Swayze and Travolta on the show lately but it turns out to be their slightly less famous brothers. Joey Travolta didn't show up so it was only Stallone and Swayze this morning. They were in to promote a new TV show they're doing for the WB network called ''Movie Stars.'' The only problem is that they don't know exactly when it'll be airing because the WB changed it's premiere date. Howard spent some time trying to find out what it's like for Don to be the brother of such a famous actor. Howard thinks it would be horrible to be constantly compared to a brother. He's thrilled he never had a brother. Neither of the brothers had anything bad to say about their more famous brothers. Don did tell Howard that even though he and his brother only live 5 miles from each other they don't visit much. He said the last time he saw his brother was at Christmas time. Don did have one cool story he told about breaking his leg while base jumping one time. He snuck into some abandoned air force base and parachuted from a 600 foot tower and his 'chute didn't open correctly. He ended up telescoping his leg up into his thigh. He said his one leg was a foot shorter than the other and his foot was twisted backwards. He said that his brother Patrick ended up renting out a wing of a Holiday Inn for all of the relatives who were visiting him in the hospital. Frank Stallone has been on the show a bunch of times in the past so Howard didn't spend a lot of time with him today. Frank did keep telling Howard that he had a buddy out in the green room so eventually Howard let the guy come in. He's a 6 time middleweight champion fighter by the name of Vinnie Pazianzi (sorry about the spelling if it's wrong). Vinnie came in and hung out for a few minutes. Then the next thing you know Chuck Zito shows up because Frank told him to come down. Chuck is the guy who beat up Jean Claude Van Damme a couple years back. He also stars in the HBO series ''Oz.'' Howard asked Chuck if he thought he could beat up Vinnie. Chuck wouldn't give a straight answer and Vinnie seemed pretty sure that he could beat up Chuck. After all, Vinnie is trained to beat guys up. Then Angry Black(AKA Shelly) called in to pick a fight with Vinnie. Howard let him rant and rave for a few minutes then hung up on him. This whole thing went on for close to an hour. Then this woman, Indigo, called in to try and get a date with Chuck Zito. Howard told her to hurry up and get down to the studio and he'd introduce them... She didn't show up. Howard wrapped up everything and let everyone get their plugs in. Frank has a new CD available from Amazon.com called ''In Love In Vain.'' He also said he's got a web site at www.frankstallone.com. Chuck said he's even got a web site but he doesn't even own a computer. You can find that at www.chuckzito.com.
-- Tuesday April 20, 1999 --
Julia Roberts Coming Friday. 4/20/99. 6:15am
Gary confirmed this morning that Julia Roberts will be doing the show on Friday morning. Yesterday I mentioned that Robin paid $12,000 at an auction for a dress that Julia wore. Gary checked his voice mail and Julia is booked.
Henry Hill Checks In. 4/20/99. 6:50am
Ex-mobster Henry Hill called in this morning in a very jolly mood. The last time he called in he was sober and somber. Howard assumed that Henry has fallen off the wagon and was slightly drunk this morning. Henry said that he's not drinking but he was laughing uncontrollably and cursing up a storm on the phone. ''That's the Henry we love..'' Howard said at one point. He's a lot more fun when he's drunk. Henry rambled on about how his youngest son is now with his daughter and how his daughter may have a movie deal in the works. He also tried to get his girlfriend Kelly to get on the phone with Howard but she wasn't in the mood. It didn't help when Henry started saying ''C'mon bitch'' as he was trying to get her on the phone. She never did get on the phone.
Stuttering John Celebrity Interviews. 4/20/99. 7:25am
Stuttering John was out at a few places last night getting a couple of celebrity interviews. He managed to get Liz Smith, Steve Martin, Sarah Jessica Parker and VH-1 VJ Cynthia Garrett. John started off each interview with a serious question..''Do you think we should be in Kosovo?'' Liz Smith answered it seriously then John hit her with ''What 3 foods wouldn't you eat?''.. referencing her being overweight.. She didn't get it and said she wouldn't eat tripe, chitlins and liver. He then asked Liz if she ever slept with a black man. She said that she doesn't distinguish between the two and ended the interview. Steve Martin was up next. John had to rush through the Steve Martin interview so he rattled off a bunch of questions:
- Are you embarrassed that Anne Hache went gay after dating you?
- Is Goldie Hawn's ass as great in person?
- Who's the hottest piece you've ever had?
- In your prime, were you funnier than Jim Carrey?
Steve quickly answered most of the questions but avoided the Anne Hache question. Sarah Jessica Parker was up next but she was clueless when John asked her ''Do you think OJ faked his attack?'' She was pretty much done after that one. John asked her if she ever smoked pot and she said ''no'' to that. The final interview was with Cynthia Garrett. John asked her a bunch of questions and she stuck through them after someone told her where John was from.
The Composer Of Robin's Theme Calls In. 4/20/99. 8:00am
The guy who actually composed Robin's news theme song called in this morning. Dwight Mikelson said that he originally composed the music back in 1987 or so. The music was never on any TV shows, it was on a production CD that gets sent to radio stations to use for background music. Dwight said he didn't realize Howard's show was using the music until someone from HBO called him to get clearance to use the music. He said he makes about $5-10 for each time the music gets played. He can make about $800 to $1200 per quarter from the music. Dwight has a new CD out but I was unable to find it myself. He gave out his e-mail address as note geek@aol.com if you want to get a hold of him.
Kendra Jade And Her 70 Year Old Boyfriend. 4/20/99. 8:35am
Stripper/porn actress Kendra Jade came in with her 70 year old British Barrister boyfriend, John Triay, this morning. Kendra is the woman who set up Jerry Springer in the hotel room a while back. This morning the two of them were pushing this thing called Duro2000 which is a herbal pill that apparently does the same type of thing that Viagra does. The two of them met at the Plaza Hotel in New York and the Barrister picked her up. The guy is still married but his wife can't put up with all of the sex the guy needs so he has to bang chicks outside of his marriage. Kendra said that he can go 5-6 times a day sometimes! She said he's the best sex she's ever had and he's even gone anal with her. She says she's not after his money but a lot of listeners who called in thought it was all a scam. Some thought it was just a big advertisement for Duro2000 but the Barrister said he hasn't gotten paid by them. He did say he'd like to work something out with them after all of this promotion though. Kenra was also in to promote her new movie ''Too Hot For Porn 2'' which just came out this week.
Julia Roberts' Dress Shows Up. 4/20/99. 9:20am
Shortly after Sal the Stockbroker called in and goofed on Jackie, his wife Nancy and Gary's wardrobe, Julia Roberts' dress showed up. This is the dress that Robin paid $12,000 for at a fund raising auction. The dress was delivered to the studio for Robin. The dress was worn to the premiere of the movie ''Step Mom'' by Julia. Not only did Robin get the dress but she got the suit that Julia's date to the premiere wore. Somehow the discussion turned to Jackie and how cheap he is.
-- Wednesday April 21, 1999 --
Captain Janks Phony Phone Call Controversy. 4/21/99. 6:05am
According to a few people, Captain Janks has finally crossed the line of decency while making a phony phone call. Howard played a recording of Janks' call that went out over CNN and MSNBC yesterday during the Denver, Colorado high school shooting. Janks posed as a female reporter and said that the shooter was ''..Howard Stern..he's upset that no one is watching his Saturday night TV...'' and was cut off. Howard said he got calls yesterday from people who thought he put Janks up to making the call. Even Congressman Serano called Howard all upset about the call. Then this morning Melrose Larry Green called in and said that Janks is a ''weasel'' and the call was ''tasteless'' and that it could have gotten more kids killed if the shooters heard the call. Even other phony phone callers like King of all Rednecks were upset over the call. Rednecks called Gary's voice mail yesterday and was really upset over the call. Howard couldn't believe that there's actually a line that Janks crossed with that call. Janks says he does it to show how desperate news channels are to get a scoop. They won't even check the legitimacy of a call before putting it on the air. Head over to www.captainjanks.com to hear the call for yourself. Later in the show Janks called back and told Howard he almost got beaten up over the call. Janks said he went out to get a cup of coffee and some guy recognized him, got out of his car and pushed Janks against the wall. Lucky for Janks there was a cop in the parking lot and he broke it up. Janks said he's going to back off of the phony phone calls for a couple of weeks because of that close call.
Stunt Woman Georgia Durante Calls In. 4/21/99. 6:45am
Howard said he told Gary he didn't want to talk to this woman on the air this morning but he ended up putting her on for a few minutes anyway. She wanted to plug her book ''The Company She Keeps.'' The book is about how she hung out with mafia guys and eventually helped put some of them in jail or something like that. She's now a stunt woman. Howard got bored with her almost immediately and only kept her on the phone for a few minutes.
Fereida's World Record Breasts. 4/21/99. 8:05am
This woman Fereida who holds the U.S. record for having the largest breasts came in this morning. When Howard introduced her he said she was looking for modeling work. Howard just about laughed in her face when she walked in. He said that she was overweight and had a double chin. She has a 38 inch, I-cup, natural breast size. She's in the ''The Guinness Book of World Records'' for having the biggest breasts in the United States. They said that it can't be a world record because they have different ways of measuring around the world. At one point Howard asked Fereida how much she weighs. She claimed 135 pounds. KC brought in a scale and she was off by 35 pounds. KC said she was almost 170 pounds. Howard lost it after that. He just started laughing hysterically. Then her husband Hans came in and Howard asked ''Where's Alan Funt?'' from Candid Camera because it seemed too goofy to be real. Fereida said that she was a DD-cup when she was only 16 years old. She also said that she rests her breasts on the table while she eats. Eventually she unveiled her huge cans for Howard and all he could say was ''Wow Wee!.. Look at those things!'' He said they looked like ''Two squash dipped in mud.'' Fereida gave out a phone number so anyone who wants her for modeling jobs can call her... 718-261-6009.
Howard Plays ''Sex Lives of the Stars'' Tape. 4/21/99. 9:00am
Howard played part of a tape called ''Sex Lives of the Stars'' this morning. The segment he played was of some woman who had sex with Larry King. Also on the tape are women who had sex with Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Jordan and Jack Nicholson. Howard was fascinated by the woman who had sex with Larry because she said she didn't like what he did to her but she went back for more. Howard said you can view segments of the tape at www.clublove.com. The two volume set of tapes is available at Tower Video or Epic Stores.
-- Thursday April 22, 1999 --
Howard's Daughter Visits. 4/22/99. 6:05am
Today was ''Bring your daughter to work day'' so Howard brought in his 12 year old Debra. She just about fell asleep during the show because she was up until 11 o'clock last night and had to get up at 4am. Howard seemed to hold back a little bit when he was talking with callers and guests because Debra was sitting there. A couple of listeners even tried to get dates with Deb. Half way through Robin's news segment, Debra had taken a quick nap on the studio couch.
Rachel The Nude Web Chick. 4/22/99. 6:35am
Howard spoke to this woman Rachel who wanted him to check her out live on the web. She's at www.camgirlslive.com and she gave Howard a password to check her out. He only spent a few minutes talking to her and I guess she wasn't as young looking as she said. Howard told his daughter that he thought this whole thing was despicable. Of course he was just saying that for her.
Used Panties On The Web. 4/22/99. 7:35am
Melissa from www.usedpanty.com called in to promote her web site this morning. She told Howard how she sells panties that women have worn for a minimum of 6 hours for $19. There are a few different women that she uses to break in the panties including herself. She said that she's been doing this for about 3 months and she's sold between 700 and 725 panties to people around the world. Howard wondered if people ask for special requests like panties that have been soiled. Melissa said that they will customize the panties for people who want them to. Melissa also said that any women out there who want to sell their used panties can contact her at melissa@usedpanty.com.
Dr. Remulak Checks In. 4/22/99. 7:40am
This guy Dr. Remulak calls the show just about every day and just repeats ''I am Dr. Remulac'' over and over again, then hangs up. This morning was different because the good Dr. was home from work sick with an ear infection. The only person he'll actually talk to is Stuttering John because they both share the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that causes Remulak to repeat over and over. John put him through to Howard but he would only answer John's questions. He's called in before but today we found out that Remulak needs to repeat either 7 or 18 times or he fears something horrible will happen. Howard was ready to hang up on Dr. Remulak so he started to repeat ''I am Dr. Remulac'' over and over so Howard just cut him off.
KC's Disturbing First Grade Essay. 4/22/99. 7:45am
Everyone seems to know that associate producer KC is a little odd. This morning he brought in an essay he wrote when he was in first grade. He brought it in because it led to him getting sent to the school psychologist for years. Howard read it on the air and it was really bizarre. It was titled ''A Tall Tale You Won't Believe'' and it started off with KC writing ''..there were 3 people, Kyle, Casey and Armstrong..'' That's KC's real full name. He then went on to write about eating a mouse, fishing in a pool using a monkey with mustard on it as bait and pulling the skin off of it when he pulled on the fishing rod too hard. Then there was something about a stingray turning in to an indian and he ended up cutting the indian up and vacuuming up the pieces. Then he wrote about going over to Kyle's house and he had 5 million cigarettes in his mouth and he ends up killing him. He also mentioned something about someone being drunk in the essay. This was all from a 6 year old! There were also some unhappy looking stick figures drawn all over the paper. Shortly after reading the thing a Psychologist called in and said it was very disturbing. One caller suggested that Howard fire all three of them.. ''Kyle, Casey and Armstrong.'' Another quick note about KC... He's really into the same music that the Colorado Trench Coat Mafia kids were in to.. Ramstein. Howard was playing clips of Ramstein all morning and KC was loving every second of it.
Amazon.com's #1 Best Selling Paperback - ''Miss America!'' 4/22/99. 8:10am
Howard announced that he got an award from Amazon.com because his book ''Miss America'' was the best selling paperback in 1998. He then proceeded to take the award and file it away with all of the other awards he's received.. in the garbage.
Howard's Black, Adopted Son Lavar. 4/22/99. 8:25am
Lately Howard's been goofing on Steven Speilberg and his adopted son who just happens to be black. This morning Howard said that he wanted to introduce his adopted black son, Lavar, to everyone. This was a goof of course and it turned out to be some handicapped black guy who plays a Casio keyboard. Howard tried to do the interview like he was talking to a guy he raised as his son but the guy didn't get the whole thing. Howard kept calling him Lavar and eventually the guy says ''Who's Lavar?.. I'm Raymond!'' He then went on to explain why he's in a wheelchair. He said that he was in the Navy and lost his foot to frostbite. Then he played a little song for Howard on his keyboard. He performed an awful version of ''You Are So Beautiful'' just for Howard. They ended the mess right after that.
Tom Chiusano's Good News. 4/22/99. 10:30am
General Manager Tom Chiusano came in late this morning with great news for Howard. According to Tom, Howard is the number one morning radio man in the New York City market for the 28th ratings period in a row. Howard had an 8.8 share of the market. The whole station even did well with a 4.4 share, tying for 4th place in the market. Tom called Howard's feat ''Remarkable'' and congratulated him on it. Howard points out that he's still not recognized for this remarkable feat so what's the point.
-- Friday April 23, 1999 --
Julia Roberts Canceled! 4/23/99. 6:15am
Howard's been promoting Julia Roberts appearance all week long (see Monday). This morning he told everyone that he had to cancel her appearance. She was all set to appear after Robin donated $12,000 to a charity as long as she agreed to do the show. Howard explained that last night he got calls from his agent and the people at E! who said that Julia's ''people'' refused to sign the release for the E! show and Saturday night show unless they put some restrictions in it. They wanted it to be limited to only the E! show and they could only play it once before going back to them to get permission to play it again. Eventually they agreed to let them play the E! appearance for 2 years and they would allow it on the syndicated Saturday night show. Howard didn't like all of the stipulations they were putting in there so he called it off. During the whole thing Julia Roberts' people were saying that Julia had nothing to do with the negotiating but Howard knows better. He said that she's behind it all and he's upset about the whole thing. He was so upset that he had the dress that Robin paid $12,000 for into the studio. He then started to cut and tear the dress up. Robin got really pissed off and Howard then had to admit that it wasn't the actual dress, it was a fake. Howard was afraid that he'd piss Robin off too much. Later in the show, around 9:30, Howard took a call from a fitness trainer by the name of Pat Minochia (Spelling error I'm sure) who used to date Julia and is still close friends with her. Pat said that Julia called him this morning and said she knew nothing about all of this. Pat said that he believes her. Howard still thinks that Julia's people don't do things without consulting her so she had to have known what was going on. Howard and Robin both said that if that was the case she should have just shown up at the station this morning and done the show. Robin also said that she was informed that Julia was going to reimburse her for the $12,000 she donated to the charity. Robin said she'd refuse it and tear up the check if she got it. She doesn't want the money, she'd just like to have Julia do what she said she'd do. Surprise.. Julia ended up calling in later in the show.
Try The Love Calculator. 4/23/99. 7:05am
Howard found this web site, www.lovecalculator.com, where you type in your name and your spouses name and it gives you an estimate on how long your relationship will last. Howard's marriage got a 12% chance of lasting. He also ran the rest of the crew through it and found that Fred's came out at 97%, Jackie's was 24%, Stuttering John's was 29% and Gary's was also 29%. Howard also ran through Julia Roberts and Hitler and found that they had an 87% chance of a lasting marriage.
The Gossip Game With Guest Crackhead Bob. 4/23/99. 7:15am
Today's guest for the Mike Walker gossip game was Crackhead Bob. Bob came in wearing new glasses and an earring. Bob doesn't need glasses but he thought he'd look better in them so that's why he was wearing them. Howard spent a minute trying to talk to him then moved right on to Mike Walker. Mike calls in each week with four gossip stories. Three of them are from his National Enquirer gossip column, one is false. Everyone tries to pick the false story. Here are this week's four stories:
1. Alley McBeal star Calista Flockhart's dog ate a $20,000 check she left out.
2. Harrison Ford helped a crying woman repair her baby stroller after seeing her crying. She offered to pay him for his help, he refused.
3. Tom Hanks sang ''Happy Birthday'' to an 88 year old stranger in a restaurant after being told it was her birthday. She said he made her day, he said the honor was his.
4. When Dennis Rodman was asked about being dumped from the Lakers he said ''I don't want to tell you half truths unless they're completely accurate..''
Crackhead Bob chose number 1 as the false story. Howard picked number 3 and both Jackie and Robin chose number 2. The actual false story was number four so there were no winners this week. You can find out where Crackhead Bob is appearing in the next couple of months at www.pegasusconcerts.com.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco Calls In. 4/23/99. 7:45am
Mary Jo Buttafuoco, the woman who was shot by Amy Fisher way back in 1992, called in this morning. Yesterday she was in court pleading for the courts to let Amy Fisher out of jail early so that she could ''have a second chance'' in life. Howard wanted to find out why she would do such a thing. To make a long story short, Mary Jo said that time has passed and she's been able to move on with her life. She felt that she could forgive Amy for what she's done. Howard and Robin tried to talk some sense into her but it wasn't working. Since bloated attorney Dominic Barbara is Mary Jo's attorney he was on the phone also. They all spent about a half hour arguing and explaining everything that led up to yesterday's court appearance. Nothing came out of the discussion though.
Sugar Ray's Mark McGrath Calls In. 4/23/99. 8:35am
Mark McGrath from the band Sugar Ray called in so Howard could question him about some rumors he's heard. Mark told Howard about how they just opened up for the Rolling Stones last week and how cool it was. Sugar Ray will also be playing at Woodstock '99 this July. The rumor that Howard heard was that Mark is now dating Madonna. Mark said that's just not true. He said that he did hang out with Madonna at a party for about 20 minutes. Then he ended up walking her to her car and gave her a peck of a kiss as she was leaving. The paparazzi must have taken that to mean that they're a couple but Mark denies that. Mark said he was drunk that night and doesn't even remember what he spoke to Madonna about. Robin and Howard told him that Madonna probably wanted him to go with her in her car but he didn't pick up on the signal. They also said that he may have been intimidated by her. That's when he admitted that he's got a tiny penis just like Howard. Howard said that Mark's is probably bigger than his but Mark disagreed. Howard said ''..imagine that curse, a rock star with a small penis..'', ''..you might as well get married..'' he continued. Howard ended the segment with Sugar Ray's kick ass remake of Howard's childhood song ''Psychedelic Bee'' that he wrote when he was just a kid. They were on the show about 4 years ago when they performed the remake.
Julia Roberts Calls In. 4/23/99. 9:55am
Gary came in and told Howard that Julia Roberts was on the phone but she really didn't want to be on the air. She did agree to it so Howard put her on. She just wanted to resolve the big mess that happened with her people. She said that it was a big misunderstanding and she wanted to apologize for it all. She said that what her people were doing was just setting up a ''check in'' type thing where E! would have to let her people know when her show would air. Howard just wanted to know if and when she'd be coming on the show. She's leaving the country tomorrow and then goes to work on a new movie for 3 months. She wouldn't commit to any dates but eventually, after 20 minutes of hesitating, said that she'd come on the show after she comes back from the movie shoot and settles back in. They figured that it'll be sometime between now and Halloween. Julia said that she didn't want it to look like she was rewarding Howard for his bad behavior earlier in the morning. Howard didn't think that it was bad behavior though. He felt that he was being jerked off and he didn't want to deal with it. Howard put out the message to the audience to ''call off the attack'' on Julia. He knows how vicious they can get so he wants them to lay off since she agreed to do something later this year.