Howard Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 3/29/99 to 4/2/99

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-- Monday March 29, 1999 --
• No DMX Concert For Howard's Daughter. 3/29/99. 6:15am
  Howard spent the first hour of the show talking about how he had to say no to his daughter going to a DMX concert. He told her that it's not a good concert for her and friends to go to because it could be a violent concert. DMX's hit song ''My Niggas'' is the one Howard made a parody about. His daughter didn't even know who DMX was, she just wanted to hang with her friends. That led to a bunch of people calling in and telling Howard he's racist for not letting her go to a ''black'' concert. Howard said his daughter has been to a bunch of ''black'' concerts but this one she wasn't going to. He said he'd think twice before letting her go to a Marilyn Manson concert and wouldn't let her go to a speed metal concert either. The subject came up throughout the morning when people would call in about the concerts and their bad experiences at them.

• Dave Herman Calls In. 3/29/99. 7:10am
  This old DJ, Dave Herman, who used to work on Howard's station in New York called in to promote this web site called www.baseballmanager.com. It's a site where you can play the manager of a baseball team and they use real statistics to track the players you choose. Scott The Engineer used to play it but hasn't done it this year. Dave told Howard it runs about $90 for 6 months to play the game. Howard and Dave spent some time talking about the old days working together at K-Rock. Dave went to another station in New York but was fired not too long ago. He's now unemployed and looking for some kind of interview show to do.

• How To Raise Beef Cattle. 3/29/99. 7:35am
  This woman Heather Smith Thomas called in to promote her book ''A Guide to Raising Beef Cattle'' which basically tells people how they can raise cows in their back yard. Why would you want to do that? Well, so you can eat them of course! Howard told Heather that he didn't think that he'd be able to raise an animal and kill it to eat it. It would be too weird. Dee Snider came in to the studio and said that he was traumatized as a child because they used to raise baby chicks and when they got older his father would chop off their heads and hang them upside down to drain the blood. Howard goofed on the whole concept and even asked Heather if she was going to rename her house ''Death Row.'' A few listeners called in to say that they had similar traumatic experiences with different animals when they were young. One woman said they ate her pet rabbit. Heather and one caller said that the meat tastes better when you raise it yourself because of what you feed it. Howard also asked her how they kill the cows.. Heather said a bullet to the head did the job. Slaughterhouses use bolts through the head or they just slice open the necks and let them bleed to death. Steak anyone?

• Dee Snider Back In To Promote His Video Release. 3/29/99. 8:00am
  Dee Snider was back in only a week after his last appearance. He's still out promoting the release of his movie ''Strangeland'' on DVD and VHS. He hung out for most of the morning just talking and listening to tapes that Howard had to play. Dee said the movie is renting really well and the tapes are selling well.

• Gary Garver Celebrity Interviews. 3/29/99. 8:10am
  Howard played a bunch of tapes of interviews done by Los Angeles correspondent Gary Garver got. Gary went out and interviewed Lou Ferrigno, Frank Bonner, Howard Hessmann and Jm J Bullock. First up was Lou Ferrigno. Gary asked him a bunch of questions and Lou answered all of them. Most of them were pretty tame questions about the Incredible Hulk and about using steroids. Lou said that he may be in an upcoming Hulk movie and will be shooting a TV pilot in the near future. He also admitted to have used steroids 20 years ago. After Gary asked him if he still masturbates, Lou said that he definitely doesn't need viagra. Next up was Frank Bonner who used to be on ''WKRP In Cincinnati'' years ago. Gary started off by asking him ''Who are you?'' and ''What do you do?'' The best insult to an actor. He asked him a couple of other lame questions but when he asked him if he still masturbates he didn't answer and ended the interview. Howard Hessman, also from ''WKRP'' didn't answer any questions because he found out Gary was from the Stern show. Jm J Bullock was a nice guy and answered all of Gary's questions. He spoke about everything from not being on the ''Hollywood Squares'' show anymore and about his being HIV positive. He also said that he's been in drug rehab since last November for his use of crystal meth (aka Speed). The last question was ''How many dates does it take before you introduce anal sex to your partner?'' Jm J said ''Who needs a date?'' When Jm J heard that Gary was doing the interviews for Howard's show he was more than happy. He said ''hi'' to Howard and thanked him for talking about him recently.

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  -- Tuesday March 30, 1999 --

• KC's Sexuality Still In Question. 3/30/99. 6:50am
  Howard was replaying tape of yesterday's Gary Garver interviews when he started thinking about how he could bulk himself up. He was thinking of trying this Creatine stuff that works kind of like steroids. KC uses it so Howard had him come in to talk about it. The subject quickly changed to KC's sexuality though. Howard's been thinking about how KC admitted that he's had problems getting aroused in the past. He really thinks that KC may be gay and not admitting it to himself. KC still swears that he's not gay though. Then Gary pointed out that KC has a tattoo on his leg that's kind of strange. It reads something like ''Pain is temporary, pride is forever.'' He later explained that the motto was on a sign that hung in the locker room or weight room where he worked out for wrestling. He said it was always there for him to see.

• Another KC Game That Turns Out Lame. 3/30/99. 7:45am
  Howard had some Rain Forest concert tickets to give away so he had KC bring in a game for some listeners to play. This one is called ''Who 'dis Mutha F'er?'' They have this black guy who talks about a celebrity like ''Yo, check this shit out.. I heard this mutha f-er got $8 million for doing that movie ''Sister Act 2'' and that she's banging that Sam Malone mutha f-er...'' The caller has to guess who he's talking about. Howard thought that the game was too easy but there were a few people who couldn't get the correct answers. That first one was Whoopi Goldberg. The next one was a little tougher. The guy yelled about the celebrity as a ''..pretty mutha f-er who was in 'Meet Joe Black'.. and bangs that jew bitch Jennifer Aniston.'' It turned out to be Brad Pitt. Jennifer Aniston's not Jewish but KC thought she was. So Howard got sick of this lame game pretty quick and said they'll have to take him off of that assignment. Jackie called the game ''as limp as KC'' referring to his problem getting aroused. Howard just called the game ''lame.''

• Author Of ''More Guns, Less Crime'' Calls In3/30/99.
  Howard spent a few minutes talking to this guy John R Lott Jr. who wrote the book ''More Guns, Less Crime: Understanding Crime and Gun-Control Laws.'' Lott says that after studying all 3000 counties in the United States he's figured out that taking guns away from people doesn't lower crime rates. He said that where gun laws are more lenient there is less crime. He says that criminals are afraid if they're not sure whether or not a person is carrying a weapon to defend themselves. Lott also had statistics saying that more kids are killed by water buckets than guns every year. Howard took a call from an African guy but the guy never got to make his point because Howard kept asking him about growing up in Africa. Howard agrees that people should be able to carry guns. The interview was relatively short.

• Babe From Rock Bitch Calls In. 3/30/99. 8:25am
  This woman Babe from the European band Rock Bitch called in to talk to Howard for a few minutes. Howard wanted to talk to her because he heard that they throw a condom out in the audience so one lucky fan can have sex with one of the 6 women in the band. Babe was calling in from France and confirmed that they do throw out the condom at each and every show. She said that the fan can screw one of the 6 chicks depending on whether or not they're male or female. 3 of the band members are lesbian and the other 3 are bi-sexual. The one guy in the band doesn't participate in the condom toss. Babe said that their periods don't stop them from having sex either. She said that she'll even toss out her tampon into the audience. The band has been around for about 8 years and you can find out more through their web site at www.tvamsterdam.com/rockbitch or e-mail them at rockbitch@msn.com.

• Guess Who Has Vaginosis Game. 3/30/99. 8:45am
  Howard had 4 women come in to play this game where the guys would sniff the women to guess who has the horrible feminine stink called Vaginosis. One of the women actually has the problem, the other three didn't. Ronnie the limo driver was invited to be one of the judges. The other judges were Howard, Fred and Jackie. All four women came in and introduced themselves. There was Diamond, Mickey, Alexa and Keri. Each one quickly said how they found out they had vaginosis. Diamond said she smelled it herself. Mickey also said she smelled it herself. Both Alexa and Keri said that their boyfriends had told them they stink. Howard had each guy head over and sniff each woman and keep their guess quiet until everyone had sniffed. They all agreed that it was Keri who had the vaginosis. It turned out they were correct. They may have been misled because the other three women had perfumed themselves before coming in. Keri was the only one who didn't. Ronnie said he could smell something but it was more of a ''B.O.(body odor) type of smell.'' Howard said he just guessed her because she wasn't perfumed. Two of the women turned out to be strippers from New Jersey and one was a hair stylist from Long Island. Gary came in with some research and gave the following reasons for the causes of vaginosis.
  • Tight pants
  • Improper wiping.. always wipe from front to rear
  • Multiple sex partners
  Keri did say that she wears tight pants but wipes correctly and doesn't have multiple partners. Howard spoke to the other women about what they do before ending the segment. Alexa and Mickey dance at Fantasies in Keyport, NJ and Diamond is a hair stylist at Le Look in Baldwin, Long Island. Diamond had originally wanted to be evaluated for getting breast implants but after showing Howard her breasts he told her that her B-cups were too cute and she didn't need implants.

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  -- Wednesday March 31, 1999 --

• Howard Attempts To Sing. 3/31/99. 7:35am
  Yikes! Howard came back from a commercial earlier in the morning playing the great acoustic version of Dave Grohl's ''Everlong'' that he performed on Howard's show last year. Howard loves the song so much that he played it all the way through... Then he decided to try and sing it himself with Fred playing guitar. Howard made the attempt once and Fred wasn't familiar with the song so it didn't work too well. Howard did some other stuff and let Fred re-tune the guitar. He also got the lyric sheet so he'd know what to sing. Then they attempted it again. Howard can't sing very well but he thought he sounded pretty good. Robin had to break the bad news to him that he basically just sucked.

• Author Of ''..Rubbing Elbows With Your Favorite Celebrity'' Comes In. 3/31/99. 7:40am
  This guy Jerry Ehrlich came in to promote his book ''The Official Handbook to Rubbing Elbows With Your Favorite Celebrity'' this morning. After this guy went through his stories of how he's met people like Daisy Fuentes and Joilee Fisher and kissed them Howard found out that the so-called ''book'' is actually more like a magazine. It's only 32 pages long! Jerry said he's met around 750 celebrities over the past 7 years or so and he can tell you how in his 32 page handbook. He claims that he's kissed many celebrities but has never tried to slip them the tongue. Gary thought that was kind of odd. Jerry even tracked down Stuttering John's wife out in California and scared the crap out of her like he was a stalker or something. After the guy told some of his stories Howard took phone calls from listeners. They all hated the guy for various reasons. One guy asked Howard to go back to singing ''Everlong.'' Jerry is holding a book signing at the Hard Rock Cafe in Philadelphia on Tuesday, April 6. Head down there and rub elbows with him.

• Skylar The Stripper And Her New Implants. 3/31/99. 8:30am
  Last August Dr. R. Scott Smith from Regional Coastal Surgical Associates down in St. George Island, Florida gave away a set of breast implants to this woman Skylar. Today Skylar came in but there was a little problem... She's 5 months pregnant! Dr. Smith told Howard that he probably wouldn't want to see the breasts because the pregnancy has made a mess out of them. He was right, Howard didn't want to see them and he wondered why she even showed up today. He said it was ridiculous that she came down 5 months after getting pregnant. She got knocked up a mere month after getting the implants even though Dr. Smith told her not to for at least 6 months. Dr. Smith took this chance to voice his opinion about how other plastic surgeons are taking advantage of other radio shows who are doing similar things in giving away implants. Dr. Smith says he's not in it for the money and hasn't raised his prices one cent since he was on. Dr. Smith uses the procedure where the implants are done through the belly button. He claims that he's not the first to do it but he's changed some things and has a patent pending on his procedure. At one point Dr. Sal Calabro called in to say that his practice is moving away from doing the implants through the belly button because they tend to show ripples and are hard to get even. The two doctors argued a little bit but it didn't last long. Howard took a couple of phone calls and one guy offered to buy Skylar's baby for ''..upwards of $100,000.. if she could guarantee that she won't sing like Nancy Sirianni (Jackie's wife)'' A phony call of course. Before Skylar left she asked that Howard bless her baby. She went over and Howard chanted some Jewish stuff to the baby. He said he could feel it moving so it must have been responding to his voice.

• Nick Webb Calls In. 3/31/99. 9:15am
  This guy Nick Webb called in to tell Howard about how somewhere around 20,000 babies may be switched at birth each year. He spent a few short minutes talking to Howard about how he and his company have new techniques for keeping the babies with the correct parents. They have bar codes and computer chips they can implant in the baby to keep everything straight. You can find out more at www.nickwebb.com.

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  -- Thursday April 1, 1999 --

• Name That Fart. 4/1/99. 7:00am
  Howard brought in Dan the farter this morning to play a ''Name That Tune'' type of game with farts. Dan is the guy who was in last year and accidentally crapped on the floor while farting. This morning he was blasting out some juicy, nasty farts. Dan blasted out some tunes that barely sounded like ''New York, New York'', ''The Love Boat'' theme and ''Eye of The Tiger.'' Somehow Howard was able to get a couple of them right on the first guess. Robin thought that the whole thing was set up because it's April Fools day today. Howard didn't get them all right though. Only a couple. Dan also attempted to play the harmonica with his ass blasts but there was nothing but gas making it's way through the instrument. One caller requested that Dan blast the theme to ''Titanic'' for him but Dan needed to practice first. Howard sent him out to the green room for a while to get ready. Later in the show a couple of women came in who said they'd do anything to meet Howard. Well, since Dan was there Howard said that they'd have to take his gas in their faces. The two of them agreed so Howard brought them into the studio. Dan proceeded to blast away into Kate and her friend's face. Kate wanted Howard to sign her breast also but he didn't get around to doing that. Instead, he had Dan attempt to play the theme to ''Titanic.'' Howard played the theme and Dan tried to play along. He actually did pretty well for a few seconds. The funny thing was that it didn't make the song any worse! Howard said that the farting was ''appropriate because when it(the Titanic) sank, 2500 people crapped their pants.'' For those of you who were wondering, Dan did not have any accidents in his pants today.

• One Terrific Movie. 4/1/99. 8:00am
  Yesterday Howard was talking about a movie he really loved but couldn't remember the name of. It starred Wayne Rogers as a high school coach who molested young, hot girls. Howard's crafty audience found the title of the movie and let Howard know what it was this morning. ''One Terrific Guy'' is the name of it but the caller said that it's not available on the web. Howard had a couple of clips from the movie so he played them this morning.

• The Homeless Game. 4/1/99. 8:15am
  The guy who gave Howard the name of the Wayne Rogers movie asked if he could play the homeless game as a reward for his help. Howard agreed and let him play. This time it was Lisa the blind Playmate who was on the show March 17. They gave her the homeless questions and it turned out to be pretty interesting. Here's the first warm-up question:
  • How many sides are on a pentagon? - 6 - Incorrect
  The caller played and had to get 3 out of five correct. He got the first three correct so he won right away.

  Question	Caller Says	Playmate Answer	Correct Answer?
  How many wheels on a tricycle?	Y	Three	Y
  Can you name one Poultry.	Y	Chicken	Y
  Who fought the Civil War?	N	George Washington	N

  After the caller played everyone else in the studio bet on the game. Howard was losing every bet he made. He was down $400 to Jackie by the end of the game. It turned out that everyone but Howard was given the answers so they could play an April Fools joke on Howard. It worked perfectly and freaked Howard out. He told them he'd get them back next year. Here are the questions:

  Question	Playmate Answer	Correct?
  Name one country that fought against the US in World War II.	Germany	Y
  Who wrote ''Mein Kampf''?	Abe Lincoln	N
  Who was the first president of the US?	Don Cherry	N
  What president is on the 1 dollar bill?	George Washington	Y
  What president is on the 5 dollar bill?	Abe Lincoln	Y
  What is 10 percent of 100?	Ten	Y
  What is 20 percent of 200?	Twenty	N
  Who is buried in Grant's tomb?	King Tut/Grant	N/Y
  What is an aluminum can made of?	Aluminum	Y
  Who wrote ''Tom Sawyer''?	Mark Twain	Y
  Who wrote ''The Catcher In The Rye''?	Dahl	N
  Fill in the blank.. The ___ Stooges.	Three	Y
  What is the square root of 81?	Four	N
  How many sides on a rectangle?	Four	Y
  How many pints are in a quart?	One	N
  How many inches are in a foot?	Sixteen	N
  How many feet in a yard?	Twelve	N
  How many centimeters in a meter?	No idea	N
  Canada is north or south of the US?	North	Y
  How many states are in the US?	Fifty two	N

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  -- Friday April 2, 1999 --

• Dr. Roger Leir Calls In About Aliens. 4/2/99. 7:00am
  Dr. Roger Leir called in to promote his book ''The Aliens and the Scalpel: Scientific Proof of Extraterrestrial Implants in Humans.'' Leir is a foot doctor who did some research on the subject of alien implants and found what he thinks is proof of extraterrestrial implants in some patients. He told Howard that they did CAT scans and x-rays on people and found some cantaloupe seed sized, T-shaped implants that are made up of some strange materials they believe may be extraterrestrial in origin. Robin got very demanding when she was asking the doctor questions. She didn't seem to believe anything he was saying. The doctor said that he believes that aliens may be altering human genetics with these implants. He believes that children born today are much smarter than they were 15 to 20 years ago and it might have to do with these implants. You can find out more info at www.5thworld.com.

• The Gossip Game With Guest Eddie Griffin. 4/2/99. 7:30am
  Actor/Comedian Eddie Griffin came in to promote his new movie ''Foolish'' which opens on April 9. He also played the Mike Walker gossip game while he was in. Eddie co-stars with Malcolm Jamal Warner on the UPN show ''Malcolm and Eddie.'' As Howard was getting ready to play the gossip game he found out that Eddie had a heart attack recently and was featured in the National Enquirer. Eddie told the story about how he had the heart attack while on the set shooting a dance scene. He was very funny and had some great jokes about the whole thing. Howard said that he's the only 30 years old with Angioplasti jokes. Howard eventually got to the gossip game.

  Each week Mike Walker calls in with 4 gossip stories. 3 of the stories are from Mike's National Enquirer gossip column, one is false. Here are this week's stories:

  1. Brandi from the TV show ''Moesha'' is fighting with a co-star and says ''F--- Moesha.. I don't need it..''
  2. Charlton Heston gave his wife a $20,000 gold plated shotgun for their 46th anniversary.
  3. Ann Hache has banned her girlfriend Ellen Degeneres from the set of her movie because Ellen is too funny and makes her laugh.
  4. Bobby Brown was dancing with a big breasted model recently. The model fell and knocked herself out. Brown kept dancing.
  Eddie and Robin both went with number 1 as the false story. Jackie went with number 2 and Howard went with number 3. The actual false story was number two. Jackie is on a winning streak. He's won at least 3 weeks in a row now.

  After the game Eddie stuck around so Howard could interview him some more. Howard had some interesting info about Eddie. When he was 12 Eddie apparently got pissed off at a cat that sliced open his puppy's nose. He ended up sand papering the cats ass, pouring alcohol on the cat and lighting it on fire. The cat ran away in flames and ended up dying. That led to a few phone calls from people who yelled at him for doing such a thing. Eddie wasn't sorry for the act. He said he doesn't have a problem with it now. He also had a story about how he smashed up his girlfriends car. It was actually a car that he'd given her as a gift. He didn't want her to take it so he smashed it up. Angry guy.. Before Eddie left he described his movie and said that Andrew ''Dice'' Clay and Master P are in it. Eddie said it's loosely based on his own life.

• Who Gives The Best Felatio Game. 4/2/99. 8:25am
  A woman recently called the show and said that she gives the best oral sex. Today Howard brought in 3 women who would demonstrate their oral sex techniques on bananas. Then everyone would vote on who they thought was the one who gives the best oral. The three women, Jessica, Sky and Robin all came in and did their thing on bananas. Howard said Jessica had a special way of holding the banana that was just right. Sky took the banana and shoved it down her throat. Robin also had a very special technique. Howard voted that Robin was the one who would be the best at oral but that it was Jessica who called the show. Robin thought it was Jessica who called in and Jackie thought it was number 3. Fred said it was number 2 who called. It turned out to be number 2, Sky. The other two women are bartenders at Fantasies in Keyport, NJ. To make a long story short, Sky is a ''Hostess'' for bachelor parties and admitted that she gives oral to men who want it at the parties. She even gave her phone number out for people who want to hire her for parties. You can reach her at 516-367-1500. How about that! Howard spent quite a while talking to Sky about how she got started doing this and it all came about because of a Driving While Intoxicated ticket that she got. She lost her license and needed money so she started this new career. It's even gotten her out of other tickets! A couple of her clients called in and confirmed that she really is the best at what she does.

• Marty Ingels And Shirley Jones Call In. 4/2/99. 9:10am
  There's this organization out there, the Parent Television Council, trying to get Howard off the air that's run by Steve Allen. They use Howard's name in full page ads saying that they need to clean up the airwaves. Well, actor Marty Ingels and his wife Shirley Jones now sit on the board of the council and Howard wanted to find out why. I wish I had the strength to explain all of Marty's views but I don't so I'll sum it up. Marty appeared on the Howard's show years ago with Shirley. Howard replays parts of the interview once in a while. Marty is now mad at Howard because Howard didn't return a call Marty made to him. Now he sits on the board of this ridiculous council and refuses to say whether or not he believes in what the council is trying to do. Marty rambled on for a solid 45 minutes about the same things while Howard tried to get one simple answer out of him.. ''Do you (Marty Ingels) think that I (Howard) should be taken off the air?'' All Marty could come up with for an answer was ''I'm not sure.'' And that's a direct quote. Howard can't believe that someone would sit on the board of something they don't even believe in. After that 45 minutes Marty finally gave the phone to his wife. Shirley thinks that the airwaves should be cleaned up and that Howard shouldn't be on when children can listen to the radio. Howard was out of time so he could only give her a couple of minutes. She said she loved ''Private Parts'' the movie and that Howard is a good actor. She won't let her children listen to the radio show though. Howard had to get off the phone since it was close to an hour since he got on the phone. When he hung up he just said ''Ugggh.. wacko's..'' He said it saddens him when people like that are completely misguided.