-- Monday February 1, 1999 --
- Howard's Super Bowl Losses. 2/1/99. 6:05am
Howard went over his losing bets from the Super Bowl this morning. After adding up all of his losses with everyone on the show he came up with a loss of $350. He lost pretty much everything from the coin toss to the over all game. Howard said he did enjoy the pre-game stuff like Cher(!) and Kiss. He was impressed with their show but said Paul Stanley should keep his shirt on because his hairy, fat belly is really unattractive. Howard said he missed most of the commercials so he couldn't comment on what was good. Robin said she hated the Jerry Seinfeld American Express commercial though.
- Bob Cook Bad Mouths Howard At NATPE. 2/1/99. 7:00am
Howard had tape of this guy Bob Cook bad mouthing his syndicated Saturday night show, ''The Howard Stern Radio Show'', at the NATPE convention last week. It turns out that this Bob Cook guy is the Executive Vice President of Eyemark Entertainment, the company that distributes the show. He was asked why he would have such a show distributed by his company. He went on for a couple of minutes about how if it doesn't get ratings it just won't be around anymore and if it doesn't generate advertising income it won't be around. He also said that it doesn't generate much money now and it doesn't get very good ratings. This guy was telling fellow broadcasters all of this stuff at some seminar he was speaking at. While Howard was playing the tape Vinnie Favale, who works on the Saturday night show, called in to defend Mr. Cook. Vinnie told Howard that Bob is one of the biggest supporters of the show and he was the one who got it on the air. It sure as hell didn't sound that way when you hear the tape. Vinnie said that Bob was giving a hypothetical situation and he didn't mean that the show was on the verge of being canceled. Vinnie told Howard that Bob used the word ''If'' when he was saying everything so it was all hypothetical. What a load of crap that was. I hope Vinnie had on some hip high boots because the amount of shit he was shoveling must have piled up pretty high. After Vinnie got off the phone actor Steven Baldwin called in and called Vinnie a prick for defending Bob Cook's comments. He can't believe Howard wasted his time with Vinnie. Howard likes Vinnie though so he let him defend Cook but didn't believe the defense. Baldwin stayed on the phone for a few minutes and told Howard that he'll be doing a ''Flintstones'' movie next. He said it'll be a pre-quel to the last ''Flintstones'' movie. Steven will be playing a young Barney Rubble in the movie.
- Comedian Kathy Griffin Comes In. 2/1/99. 8:20am
Actress/comedian Kathy Griffin came in to promote a couple of things this morning. Kathy co-stars on ''Suddenly Susan'' with Brooke Shields and Judd Nelson. She was promoting that show and the new cartoon ''Dilbert'' in which she does one of the voices. The two shows will be competing against each other on Monday nights at 8pm. Howard's not a fan of ''Suddenly Susan'' but told Kathy that her stand-up routines are funny, that's why he likes her. He goofed on Brooke Shields and her husband Andre Agassi a little bit but Kathy couldn't do that. Howard told her that he feels Brooke is the weak link on the show even though she's the star. Howard found out that Kathy has a serial killer fascination and she's been to a few trials. They spent quite a while talking about that subject. Kathy said that she once spoke to one of the jurors during the trial of Richard Ramirez and got in trouble with the judge. Then she brought up the Menendez trial and how she liked Lyle Menendez. She did an interview with People magazine and they mentioned that in the article. Lyle ended up getting in contact with her but she never went to visit him. That discussion led phone call from Tracy Baker who used to date Lyle Menendez and testified at his trial. Tracy said that she stopped dating him about a year before he and his brother killed their parents. She told Howard that she saw how strange their parents were first hand. She told Howard that Lyle's penis was bigger than 6'' and hinted that she may have given him oral sex while they were dating. Howard's attention then focused on Kathy and whether or not she was wearing panties today. She wasn't. Howard told Kathy that she had nice breasts and checked out her feet. Then a caller told Howard that she's dating some guy from pop band ''In Sync.'' She said that she made out with one of them but didn't really date him. She explained how she met the group and how a couple of them got her phone number. One of them was only 19, which was too young for her, so she told him that he was too young. The 21 year old called her and eventually made out with her. She said they kissed and he felt her up but that was it. She said he told her that when he called her he did some sex talk but it was something like ''I'd bang you so good that you wouldn't be able to walk for a week.'' Sweet huh? Howard had to wrap everything up because Kathy was on her way to do the Rosie O'Donnell show.
- Gary Sworn To Secrecy. 2/1/99. 9:35am
Gary came in to talk about how he knows who the anonymous purchaser of the Mark McGuire 70th home run ball is. The guy who bought the ball at an auction for millions of dollars is going to appear on the show but made Gary sign a confidentiality contract that says he's not allowed to reveal the name. The guy is going to do a press conference before he appears on Howard's show and he'll reveal his identity there. Later in the show a listener called in and told Howard that the guy's name has already been in the paper for the past week and a half or so. He said it's Todd Mc Farlane, creator of the ''Spawn'' comics. Gary could not confirm or deny that name but he kind of hinted that it's not. Gary said that the papers are just speculating that he's the purchaser. The caller thinks that Gary is dopey for signing that contract when everyone already knows who it is. Gary told the guy that he was talking to a publicist and he just did it to find out who the guy really is.. and he still hasn't said who it really is. Gary said the guest will be coming on the show in about a week. The caller doesn't think that the creator of ''Spawn'' would be a good guest but Gary said that no matter who it is, they'll be a good guest because anyone who spends that much money on a baseball would be good.
- Arguing About Mumia Abu-Jamal. 2/1/99. 9:40am
Howard was telling Robin how he's been reading up on the Mumia Abu-Jamal case which has been in the news lately. Last week Howard had on a guy from Rage Against the Machine and the widow of a police officer who was shot by this guy Mumia back in 1981. Rage did a concert to raise money for Mumia to try and get an appeal on his case because they feel his first trial was unfair. Howard said that after reading an article in a newspaper he's more convinced than ever that Mumia is guilty. A short time later a woman called in to argue with Howard about the whole thing. They spent 20 minutes arguing the case. Howard figures that the woman is a white woman who dates black guys and just wants to prove that she sees that they're treated unfairly by the white man. She didn't see how that had anything to do with why she's so vocal about her feelings. She did admit that she dates black guys which Howard said proved his point. A bunch of other callers seemed to agree with Howard and blasted the woman for her argument. You can read more about the two sides of the case at www.danielfaulkner.com and at mumia.org.
-- Tuesday February 2, 1999 --
- Killing Time. 2/2/99. 6:05am
Howard didn't do much early this morning. He spent most of the time talking to Robin about various things and taking phone calls. At one point the winner of the Christi Lake sex contest, Brock, called in to thank Howard but his connection got cut off for some reason and Howard didn't get the chance to talk to him for more than 30 seconds. After that Howard told Robin how his poor dog Java got screwed for the first time. Howard had Java, a black lab, spayed so he wouldn't have to worry about her getting pregnant and/or making a mess around the house when she'd go into heat. Well recently he noticed that her nipples were getting bigger and her genital area was looking unusual. His dog trainer said he didn't like the look of it so they brought her back to the vet. The vet told Howard that they may have left some ovarian tissue in there and they might have to go back in and remove it. Then Howard found out that Java's playmate Monty, who's neutered, was found having intercourse with her. Now Howard is going to have to bring Java back and have her re-spayed. Howard said he wanted to say that the vet really screwed up but he didn't I guess because he didn't want to get sued.
A little later Howard spoke to this 9 year old kid who's called in before. The kid lost half a testicle in a playground accident. His nuts got stuck on a hook on a swing set and ripped open his sack. Howard said he likes talking to this kid who's been through a hell of a lot for a 9 year old. The kid was telling Howard how he likes his Saturday night show and really enjoyed the Cindy Margolis show where she and her friend played strip homeless game. He also saw the small penis contest and enjoyed that. The kid also got the ''Private Parts'' movie and enjoyed that. Howard told the kid to keep in touch.
- Sy Sperling Talks Hair. 2/2/99. 7:55am
Sy Sperling, President of the Hair Club For Men, called in to talk about good and bad hair. Howard asked Sy if he's still the President of the Hair Club and Sy said ''Not only am I the President, I'm also a client'' just like his commercials which have been running for years. Howard got right into it with Sy. Sy told Howard that he got in trouble the last time they did this because one of his clients heard about it and got pissed at Sy. He told Howard that he'd have to be really careful with what he said today. The person who got pissed at Sy told him not to talk about him again so Sy is running scared. The first name to come up was Charles Grodin. Sy's opinion is that Grodin's hair piece is just weird looking and it looks like a bad transplant. He also said that Steve Allen's hair piece is really bad, maybe the worst he's ever seen. Sy said that Al Pacino's hair looks tremendous. He said that for a few people and it may mean that the person is a Hair Club client. Sy also said that Burt Reynolds looks good now and Howard agreed. Burt must be a client. Sy also said that Nicolas Cage has a thinning hair look that looks great and natural. He said the same for Bruce Willis and Sean Connery. Sy told Howard that Donald Trump looks good and he'll ''leave it at that'' which was another one of his catch phrases for today. Sy told Howard that many radio shows around the country ask him if Howard is a client. Sy said that he tells them that Howard's hair looks great and leaves it at that. Howard says that he doesn't have any fake hair at all. Next up was news anchor Sam Donaldson. Sy says that Sam just combs over his long nasty hair to give it that horrible look. Mayor Rudy Giulilanni is the same thing. Sy says Ted Koppel is natural hair and that Tony Curtis has a bad toupee. Tom Snyder does the big comb over and gives him that 1970's look. After giving his opinion on all of those people Sy plugged his Hair Club for Children. They do hair for kids who have cancer and have lost their hair during therapy. You can find out more by visiting www.hairclub.com. Just before Sy got off the phone a woman calling herself ''Ms. X'' called in and told Howard that she knows for a fact that the person who got pissed at Sy was Sylvester Stallone. She swore that she knows for a fact that it was him. Sy kept quiet while she was on the phone and when Howard asked about it he said ''No Comment!'' He said it would be big trouble if he said anything so he kept his mouth shut. Howard told him that if he is doing Stallone's hair he's doing a great job.
- Mental Mike's Phony Phone Call. 2/2/99. 8:30am
We may have a new phony phone caller on our hands. This guy Mike told Howard that he just got out of a mental hospital and made this phony phone call. He called in to a news program about a big power plant explosion at one of Ford's manufacturing plants. He played the tape for Howard over the phone. Mike called the program as one of the foremen at the plant who was slightly injured in the explosion. He was out of breath and explained that he was suffering from smoke inhalation. He went on to explain how he heard an explosion louder than anything since Vietnam. He got out of the building and made the mistake of trying to drive to the hospital in his own car. The newscasters were listening carefully and staying quiet. Mike then said that he passed out in his truck and was rescued by an entertainer in limo. The entertainer then drove him to the hospital and saved his life. Then he told them it was Howard Stern who'd saved him. He went on for a few more seconds then got cut off. The newscasters didn't know what was going on. They didn't have anything to say for a few seconds but eventually said that the guy was a phony. A reporter out in the field didn't hear that he was a phony and went on to say how those things can happen to people in situations like that. The call was pretty good but we'll have to see if he can make more in the future.
- More Killing Time. 2/2/99. 8:55am
There wasn't much happening on the show today so Howard was still taking phone calls and talking about stuff like last night's TV Guide awards show. He played some tape of that show for a little while. He also took a call from bloated attorney Dominic Barbara. Howard read a story about how Dominic is trying to get Amy Fisher an early release from prison for shooting Mary Jo Buttufuocco. He got Mary Jo and Amy's mother together and they spoke to each other for a while. They ended up crying together and hugging each other. Now it seems that Mary Jo may help get Amy out early. Mary Jo and Amy may even collaborate on a TV movie special about the whole thing. Dominic feels that Amy is a messed up young lady who just needs therapy to cure her. Howard thinks it's ridiculous to let out anyone who shoots someone point plank in the head. One phone caller said that everyone knows that the Buttufuocco's just need the money and that's why they'd stoop so low. Dominic said that's just not true. Howard feels that it's a religious thing that Dominic thinks he has to do to look good in God's eyes.
Later on Howard took a call from his old buddy Leslie West from the rock band Mountain. Leslie plugged a couple of appearances he's making in the near future. He also told Howard about some operation he had but Howard hit the delay during it so who knows what it was. Leslie is appearing at Life in Grenwich Village sometime this week and down at the new Hard Rock Live in Orlando, Florida sometime soon. He wasn't on the phone for very long since it was getting late in the show.
-- Wednesday February 3, 1999 --
- Howard's Gay Dream. 2/3/99. 6:25am
Howard spent a few minutes telling Robin about a gay dream he had last night. He explained that he was having gay sex with some skinny guy when he looked down and noticed that he wasn't wearing a condom. Some of the details of the dream were wiped out by the delay button so I don't know them all. Anyway, Howard was trying to analyze what the dream meant. He didn't think that the dream was sexual. It may have had something to do with him being afraid of cheating on his wife or something like that. One guy called in with a gay test to see if Howard really is gay. He had a few questions about looking at guys in movies and having nocturnal emissions as a child among other things. Howard answered yes to 2 out of three questions so the test says that Howard must be bi-sexual. Maybe that explains why he keeps Ralph around.
- Goofing On Gary. 2/3/99. 6:55am
Howard spent quite a bit of time goofing on Gary this morning. They were talking about how Gary said something about Claire Danes being in ''Movie Line'' magazine and Howard remembered something Gary said in his MTV VJ screen test from about 13 years ago. Howard ended up replaying the tape of that screen test for about 20 minutes this morning and goofing on every second of it. At the time Gary was pronouncing his last name differently and it turns out that's the way his family used to pronounce it. They used to pronounce it Dellabate as in masturbate but Gary changed it to Dell-a-BA-tay which is the correct Italian pronunciation according to Gary. He also pronounced a bunch of other words incorrectly during his screen test so Howard goofed on all of that. Gary thinks that his tape probably circulates through the MTV studios and people probably goof on him there also. After goofing on that tape Fred was playing a bunch of the Gary musical bumpers that make fun of him. They're like theme songs from TV shows sung with goofs on the Baba Booey name. I think Gary hated every second of it.
- High Pitch Eric Calls In. 2/3/99. 7:20am
High Pitch Eric called in this morning to tell Howard about his experience on the Maury Povich show. Eric hasn't been on Howard's show for quite a while so he needs something to get him on. He told Howard how they were having a ''voice makeover'' on the show but he didn't want to have his changed. If he did have it changed he'd really have no reason to come on Howard's show anymore. In the past Howard has noticed how wet Eric's hands are when shaking hands. Eric said that he shook Maury's hand and Maury had to wipe his hand in his pocket afterwards. You can catch High Pitch Eric on the Maury Povich show on March 4.
- Yo, Yo, Yo, Big Black Calls In. 2/3/99. 7:25am
Big Black called in to play tape of Dr. Laura Schleshinger fake crying on some show. That tape was interesting but after playing it he brought up the fact that this week's E! shows from the NATPE convention look like they were shot through some kind of filter. It turns out Big Black was right. One of the guys from E! came in and said that they used a woman's stocking to soften the lighting from the convention center. Big Black also brought up the fact that Gary dressed like a slob on the show. He, like many others, think that Gary should be dressing a little nicer when he's on camera. That led to Gary goofing on Big Black for sitting around his house without a job. He just tapes shows and calls in to play the tape for Howard. Sounds pretty fun to me.. but Big Black is running out of money. Every time he calls in he asks for a job. He could have had one typing for the show but he couldn't type 90 words a minute so he lost out on it. He told Howard that he's studying the computer language Java so maybe he can get a job in the computer industry. A short time later this guy who calls himself Angry Black called in to yell at Big Black for being a ''lazy, shiftless, niggah.'' Angry Black told him that he should be the last person to say anything about the way Gary dresses on the show because he just sits around with no job. That went on for a couple of minutes before Howard moved on. Howard said that he likes that Big Black sits around taping stuff for the show and even suggested that they pay him to do that. I doubt that they'll do that though. Visit Big Black over at www.bigblack.com before he runs out of money and has to shut the site down.
- Female Boxers Mia And Amanda Promote Their Fight. 2/3/99. 8:00am
Two female boxers, Mia St. John and Amanda Skelton, came in to promote their fight on Pay-Per-View. They'll be the opening fight at the Oscar DeLahoya fight on February 13 at 6pm. One of the boxers, Mia, was very attractive and it turns out she's actually appeared in Playboy Magazine. Mia did have a black eye though. She said that she was sparring and got a shiner. The other boxer, Amanda, was very quiet and didn't say much while they were there. The interview actually turned out to be pretty interesting. Howard asked them about how they protect their breasts in the fight and whether or not they fight during their periods. They wear chest protectors for their breasts and they have fought during their periods. Howard thought that they'd probably fight better during their periods because they'd be more angry. He also got into what they get paid to fight. Mia said she'll be making about $20,000 for the fight but Amanda will only make around $3,000. Amanda didn't seem too upset that she makes so much less. Howard just wondered why Mia would be paid so much more. Mia has a 9-0 record and Amanda is also undefeated at 4-0. Mia probably makes the big bucks because she dolls herself up and looks good for the camera even when she fights. She wears makeup during the fight! The most interesting part of the interview was when Howard asked Mia if she'd ever had a lesbian experience. She giggled and eventually told him about her one experience. She kept emphasizing that she really likes masculinity and the woman she went with was very masculine. She said it just didn't work out because she wasn't into women. Amanda didn't have any lesbian sex stories for Howard. Even if she did you wouldn't have heard it because she was so quiet.
- The KC Quiz. 2/3/99. 8:50am
KC had another one of his dopey games to play today. This time it was a goofy quiz with questions that are meant to confuse you. One was ''How many birthdays does a man have?'' The correct answer is one because he's only born one time. Get it? Here's a few more for you to think about:
So there you have it. KC pulled these questions out of some book for who knows what reason. Howard just does this to waste a few minutes of air time. Is anyone else sick of KC yet?
- Do they have a fourth of July in England? - Yes
- How many months have 28 days in them? - All of them have 28 days
- How many outs are in a baseball inning? - Six
- In California is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister? - The guy is dead, how could he?
- How many 2 cent stamps are in a dozen? - 12
- If there's a 5'10'' clerk in a butcher shop, what does he weigh? - He weighs the meat.
- How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark? - It wasn't Moses who took the animals on the Ark.
- If there are 17 sheep and all but 9 die, how many are left? - Nine.
- Gilbert Gottfried Comes In. 2/3/99. 9:00am
Comedian Gilbert Gottfried was supposed come in and hang out during the news today. What ended up happening was that we learned more about him than anyone ever wanted to know. The first thing Howard did was try to figure out what Gilbert is worth. Gilbert doesn't buy much and he doesn't go out as far as Howard knows. He figures that he must be worth about $5 million or so. Gilbert said that he gets the money and doesn't really invest in much. Howard said he probably hides his money in his mattress. Then this woman Angela, who used to work with Gilbert on the USA Network's ''Up All Night'', called in to tell Howard how she saw Gilbert's penis. Angela said they were getting changed in a dressing room and she saw the side of his testicle and the large outline of his penis in his underwear. Angela said that she tried to get Gilbert to go out with her but he wouldn't. She admitted that she's not at all attractive in any way so she wasn't surprised. Just by chance Gilbert had a picture of her on him and showed it to Howard. Howard agreed that she wasn't attractive. She did say that she got laid 2 nights ago but it was thanks to the guy getting drunk that it happened. Angela was on the phone quite a while. After Howard took a break Stuttering John came in and said that he had Gilbert's girlfriend on the phone. Howard was amazed that Gilbert has a girlfriend at all. She didn't want to come on the air unless Gilbert said it was okay though. Gilbert was very hesitant to let it happen but Howard put her on. Her name is Dara and she works in the record company business. Dara called Gilbert ''The most wonderful man in the world'' when Howard asked her about him. They've been dating for about 2 years and see each other quite often. They did say that they don't stay over at each other's homes but they do have sex. Dara said that Gilbert doesn't have a microwave oven or a dishwasher or cable TV. She said that he does have 138 tubes of toothpaste though. ''He buys it when it's on sale'' she said. She also admitted that he's the cheapest man she's ever met. When they watch movies together they do it at her apartment since she has cable TV. Howard wondered what Gilbert does at his place if he doesn't have any modern appliances. Gilbert didn't get the chance to say what he does but Howard said he'd really like to have a camera follow him around for a day. After Dara was off the phone Gilbert was a little off and wasn't really funny for a while. This may have been too much for Gilbert to handle in one day. He's usually so secretive about this stuff that it threw off his comedy. Eventually he got rolling and made some funny comments during the news. Gilbert will be appearing at Caroline's Comedy Club in New York Thursday, February 4. He'll also be at Zany's in Chicago from Feb 11-13. You can also catch him on the new ''Hollywood Squares'' next week.
-- Thursday February 4, 1999 --
- Howard Finally Completes ''My (Radio) Niggas'' Song Parody. 2/4/99. 6:15am
For over a week now Howard has been playing this song by DMX called ''My Niggas'' from the album Flesh Of My Flesh...Blood Of.... Howard found out about the song when it was at the top of the charts a few weeks back. The more he played it the more it became apparent that he should make a parody of the song. Howard's version is really funny. He sings about Gary, Jackie, Ralph and Scott the Engineer as his ''niggas.'' You can get a sample of the original DMX song over at Amazon.com.
- Pamela Anderson And Friends Come In. 2/4/99. 8:10am
Superbabe Pamela Anderson came in with her two co-stars Natalie Ratano and Molly Culver from ''V.I.P.'' Pam and Nat were just on the show last week but they were in town so they stopped by the show again. Last week they were down in New Orleans at the NATPE convention promoting their show. Pam was claiming that she was gay last week so Howard had a couple of Scores girls come to the studio to make out with her today. The only problem was that Pam and her friends weren't drunk. Nikki and Devita from Scores were more than willing to make out with Pam. After some coaxing from Howard Pam finally agreed to kiss Devita but she didn't want any tongue from her. According to Gary, Devita is a really fun girl when she's dancing at Scores. They kissed once sitting down but Devita slipped Pam the tongue and she backed off. Howard then told Pam that she really isn't gay. Pam kept saying that she is so Howard had her stand up to kiss Devita again. Devita slipped her the tongue once again. Pam said that she's sick and doesn't want to make Devita sick so she backed off and said they're done being gay for today. After that Howard told Pam about how Donny Osmond has never had or given oral sex to his wife. Pamela said ''that's impossible'' and found it very hard to believe. That was something that Donny admitted to on Howard's show last year. That led to Howard asking the girls about sex. Pam said that she didn't have her first period until she was 18 years old. She also admitted that she was raped by a 25 year old when she was only 12! She said that she and the 25 year old were playing backgammon and he just jumped on her, pulled off her clothes and had sex with her. Needless to say it wasn't enjoyable. Molly said her first sex happened at 17, Nat didn't say when her first time was. Molly and Pam said they've had anal sex and Nat never has. They all use vibrators, one of which is called ''The Thumper.'' All three have slept with black guys at some point in their lives. Pam said that she hasn't had two guys at one time but once had a guy watch her and another guy do it while he sat in the corner and wacked himself off. Molly and Pam said that penis size is very important but Nat disagreed. Howard would pop a phone call in every once in a while to break things up. One woman called Pam a slut for talking about all of this sex stuff but they shut her up by saying that they're just talking honestly about this stuff. Howard asked Pam about a couple of her former boyfriends but she didn't want to talk. He wanted her to give Scott Baio and Dean Cain a score between 1 and 10. She gave Scott a 6 but wouldn't rate Dean on his sexual prowess. The fact that Molly can pick out a large penis from a crowd came up at one point. Howard had all of the guys stand up so she could pick the one she thought was the largest. She ended up picking Fred which was correct! What an amazing power. Before ending the segment Howard took a phone call from a guy who claims he messed himself while driving to work. He said that while they were kissing earlier he wacked off and had to turn around to go home.
- Brad Pitt Stalker Athena Comes In. 2/4/99. 9:05am
The 19 year old woman who was recently arrested for breaking into Brad Pitt's home came in this morning. Athena, who's pretty cute, came in to explain her actions and to plug a web site she appears nude on. The web site is at www.mynakedfantasy.com for those of you who are too horny to wait.. Howard was very impressed with how good looking this ex-stripper was. Howard said he wished that someone like her would break into his house and wait there for him. He said she looks kind of like Gillian Anderson but better. He later said she looks kind of like Jennifer Aniston. She went on to explain how she moved from North Dakota to Los Angeles to become a star. She had to become a stripper to pay some bills after being there for a little while. She said she probably averaged about $100 a night stripping. That's not much for a stripper. She said she just wasn't good at approaching guys. She then went on to explain how she found out where Brad Pitt lives and how she got into his home. Her fascination with Pitt began after seeing ''Legends of the Fall.'' She just wanted to meet him because she figured he'd be a nice guy. She met someone who told her where Brad lived about a year ago. During that year she said she probably went to his house, without going in, two times. She said she left letters for him there. This last time she said she decided to climb the fence to check out where he lives. She brought with her a witches date book, a sewing needle with ribbon on it and some kind of doll. She was able to climb over the fence and avoid the security system somehow. She explained that the witches date book explained how different colors mean different things. That's what most of her explanation was based on, colored lights and how they told her what to do. Not in voices but ''feelings'' of what to do. She spent a lot of time just walking his property but she ended up spending the night in his house alone. She did end up feeding his dogs though. They were barking at her so she gave them some treats to shut them up. She put on some of his clothing to sleep and in the morning when she left she took more of his clothes. She claims that she was wearing a dress when she came in and didn't want to have to climb the fence again in the dress. When she got up in the morning she went out to get the doll she left out front. That's when the caretaker saw her and called the police. She was then arrested. She has a court date on the 11th of this month. She said that the maximum sentence is like 6 months in jail. Howard and Robin both seem to think she's kind of mental but she sure doesn't. They think she should get some psychiatric help. She told them that she reads a lot of psychiatric books so she understands this stuff very well herself. She's really wacky but she was so good looking that Howard was touching himself. She wasn't wearing a bra and she even lifted up her shirt to show Howard. Howard said ''Oooo NICE!'' when she did. You can see her for yourself over at www.mynakedfantasy.com. Before Athena left one caller offered her $8 an hour to pop out of his clock every hour and say ''Kukoo, Kukoo...'' Athena didn't seem to find that amusing. Howard told Athena to keep in touch to keep us updated. I'm sure we'll hear more from her in the future.
-- Friday February 5, 1999 --
- Goof On Jackie Day. 2/5/99. 6:45am
Last night Jackie did a chat session over at theglobe.com. This morning Howard wanted to know how it went. Jackie told him a little about it and there wasn't much to say. Then Howard got a copy of Jackie's bio from the chat. At first it didn't look like there was much to goof on. Soon after that Howard was goofing on the whole thing. He said that the bio should have been 2 sentences long because it basically said nothing. That led to Howard talking about Jackie's 3 small homes out on Long Island and how Jackie is thinking of adding a 4th. Everyone spent a little while making fun of him. Last week it was Gary who got goofed on, today it was Jackie's turn.
- Big Black Calls In With More Tape. 2/5/99. 7:05am
Big Black called in with some tape for Howard to listen to this morning. He had tape of Daryl Hanna talking to Rosie O'Donnell about how she lives in a tee pee out in the mid west somewhere. Howard found it pretty interesting but it didn't end there. Angry Black, Shelly, called in again to tell Big Black how lazy he is. Angry Black called in a couple days ago and did the same thing. This time Angry told Big that if he wants a job he's got one for him. He said he'd pay Big Black to live in a cage and they'd charge people ''Two bits to look at his ugly monkey ass'' in his backyard. Then a woman who used to work with Big Black called in to tell Howard that Big didn't quit his job, he was fired for being late all the time. Big Black still says he quit the job although he was late for work quite often. Howard thought that maybe he quit just before he got fired so he wouldn't look so bad. All Big Black wants now is $10,000 to tape stuff for Howard. It doesn't look like that'll be happening anytime soon.
- The Gossip Game With Guest AJ Benza. 2/5/99. 7:40am
AJ Benza, host of ''Mysteries and Scandals'' on E!, came in to play the Mike Walker Gossip Game today. Howard was promoting AJ by saying that he had some big story to break on the show. Well, the story never came out. Howard did say that it's about Vanessa Williams dating some famous basketball star but AJ wouldn't give any details because he said he's not a gossip columnist anymore. Howard spent about 10 minutes talking to AJ and Mike Walker before getting to the game. Howard found out that Mike's wife is Japanese which was a surprise. They spent a while talking about that and how Mike used to go to Japan and get massages where they'd get him off. He said it's very reasonable to get that over there according to Mike. After the bullshitting session they moved on to the game.
Mike Walker calls in each week with 4 gossip stories. 3 of them are from his National Enquirer column. One is a fabricated story. Everyone tries to pick the false story. Here are this week's stories:
AJ and Howard both chose number 2 as the false story. Robin chose number 1, Jackie chose number 3 and Fred chose number 4. The actual false story was number 2. Howard and AJ were correct.
- Anna Nicole Smith gave some diet tips to Kirstie Alley after appearing on Kirstie's show ''Veronica's Closet.''
- While Johnny Depp was out to dinner with his ex-girlfriend Kate Moss in London they sent out some food to some homeless people they saw on the street. They even sent food out food for their dog.
- After Jack Nicolson won a Golden Globe award recently Warren Beatty came by to congratulate him. Jack ended up accidentally dropping the award on Beatty's foot.
- E.R. Star George Clooney enjoys basketball so much that he plays during breaks on the set of the show. His co-stars are upset because he comes back with serious body odor.
After the game Howard spent a while talking to AJ about his sex life and all of the amazing stories he has. He once dated a woman who was also dating Donald Trump. He helped cause some friction between Mariah Carey and her ex-husband Tommy Mitola among a bunch of other stuff like that. AJ has dated a lot of models and celebrities in the past and is now writing a book about his life. He said he even slept with a woman who slept with President Clinton. He wouldn't give her name though. AJ's E! show ''Mysteries and Scandals'' airs Monday through Thursday each week. Check your local listings for the time.
- Pamela Anderson Sends Howard A Gift. 2/5/99. 8:40am
Howard received a package from Pamela Anderson this morning. She said that Howard had to open it on the air so he did. It turned out to be her dress and panties from yesterday. What a nice gift. A little later in the show Howard sniffed the panties and even tried to fit into the dress. Needless to say you can't fit 200 pounds of Howard Stern into a dress made for someone who probably weighs 105 pounds. One guy called in and offered to give Howard $500 for the dress but Howard said he's keeping the dress and the panties. They're not for sale.
- Monica Lewinsky Has A Problem With Howard!? 2/5/99. 8:42am
Howard read something about how Monica Lewinsky turned down a book deal with Regan Books which is the company that put out Howard's book. She turned it down because of that fact. Howard can't believe that she'd have a problem with that when she's out giving oral sex to the President. Then Howard said that Gary has Monica's cellular phone number. Howard told Gary to call her so he could yell at her for being so stupid. A couple of minutes later Gary told Howard that Monica answered and when he said ''Hi Monica, this is Gary from the Howard Stern Show..'' she huffed and hung up on him. That was the end of that.
- Kreskin Calls In From New Zealand. 2/5/99. 8:45am
Last week the Amazing Kreskin appeared on the show. Before he left he gave Howard an envelope to hang on to until today. Kreskin called in from New Zealand to do this ''amazing'' trick. He told Howard that he was going to transmit some image to Robin's mind and the answer to that would be in the envelope he gave Howard. Well, it turned out to be just another card trick. They went through this long explanation over the phone and Kreskin said the cameraman was late. It was all a big mess. Kreskin had a bunch of guys at his hotel room to witness this mess. What he did was have this guy in his room deal out a deck of cards and after dealing each one he'd say what number he was dealing like ''One, Two, Three...'' Then he had Robin look at a clear glass of water and when she thought that she saw the number extremely clear she was to say ''Stop right there.'' They did that and Robin stopped at number 6. Kreskin had written down that Robin would stop at number 6 at his hotel room. That card was the 3 of hearts. He then had Howard open the envelope he'd given him last week. In that envelope Kreskin wrote that Robin would pick the 3 of hearts. Well, he was correct. Howard then jokingly said that Kreskin wrote ''P.S. I don't want to live with my mother anymore. Help me!'' Howard then said that he sees that this may have been the last appearance for Kreskin. It really was a ridiculous way of doing a card trick. They could have done it last week when he was in the studio but Kreskin dragged it out for a week.