Howard Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 12/13/99 to 12/17/99

---

-- Monday December 13, 1999 --
• The Best Of Stern. 12/13/99.
  Well folks, it seems that Howard has decided to take a very long Christmas vacation this year. For the next 3 weeks or so we'll be hearing ''The Best of Stern.'' Here's what we heard today:
  • ''Jackie the Jokeman'' song parody to the tune of ''Frosty the Snowman''
  • Gary's phony phone call to Bucky the sales guy about selling Howard's bodily sounds as advertising
  • Hank's Christmas wish
  • Howard talks to a gay caller who tells him the story of his first gay experience
  • Howard goofs on a caller who's on angel dust
  • CBN broadcaster Paul Stern calls Howard to complain about Ponce De La Phone's phony phone calls to his show
  • Kato Kaelin calls to promote his radio show, Howard tries to get him to testify against OJ Simpson
  • The late Doug Bady, who had muscular dystrophy, talks to Howard about how he hated Jerry Lewis
  • Doug Bady talks about how his rectum came out while he was on the toilet
  • Howard puts Doug Bady in a steamer trunk to freak out some New Yorkers
  • Howard goofs on John Tesh's music

  ---

  -- Tuesday December 14, 1999 --

• The Best Of Stern. 12/14/99.
  Day two of ''Best of''.. Here's what we heard:
  • ''The Singing Stern Family'' commercial parody
  • The Jerky Boys ''Cold Feet'' phony phone call
  • Sal the Stock Broker's ''Gary is a Horse Tooth Jackass'' song parody to the tune of ''Santa Claus is Coming To Town''
  • Howard listens to phony phone calls to Tom Snyder and Larry King
  • Howard tries an experiment to see if a real monkey can be a program director and succeeds
  • Howard listens to audio clips of Jessica Hahn's Playboy video
  • Vietnam Vet/DJ Max Kinkle talks to Howard about Sylvester Stallone
  • Robin loses her mind and complains about the gift Howard got for her birthday
  • Howard dissects Billy Crystal's American Comedy Lifetime Achievement Award acceptance speech
  • Howard busts Gary's balls about him moping around the station because he had to work late
  • Howard talks to Kato Kaelin about testifying against OJ Simpson the day after his first radio show

  ---

  -- Wednesday December 15, 1999 --

• The Best Of Stern. 12/15/99.
  Three days down, 12 to go.. Here's what we heard today:
  • ''Howard The Big Nosed DJ'' song parody to the tune of ''Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer''
  • ''Howard's Johnson Hotel'' commercial parody
  • ''Roman Polansky Day Care/Dating Service'' commercial parody
  • Howard takes a call from a suicidal caller who turns out to be a fake
  • Jessica Hahn calls in to help Howard promote ''Butt Bongo Fiesta'' / Gary gets yelled at for screwing up
  • Howard takes a phone call from an Alcoholics Anonymous member then goofs on him
  • Howard relieves Mike Gange of his taping duties after he screws up and gives Ralph one of Howard's tapes without permission
  • Howard takes a call from a listener who wants to hook up with Robin
  • Howard plays old tape from a live commercial he did for Nutrisystem, Jennifer Aniston was one of the girls on the program
  • Howard plays tape of some Ponce De La Phone phony phone calls to Kathleen Sullivan
  • Howard turns over control of Gary and Scott the Engineer after they fail to get tapes to him on time

  ---

  -- Thursday December 16, 1999 --

• The Best Of Stern. 12/16/99.
  Only one more day of Best Of before 2 more weeks worth! Here's what we heard today:
  • Hank the Dwarf's nomination for 1998 Most Beautiful Person award announcement
  • ''Howard Keep Your Pimp Hand Strong'' rap
  • Fartman calls the Iranian Embassy
  • Howard plays tape of Bobcat Golthwait bad mouthing him on his HBO special
  • Howard plays tape of Stuttering John interviewing Richard Simmons
  • Fred's wife caught on hidden camera making out with her acting co-star in ''Tony & Tina's Wedding''
  • Howard complains about Tom Chiusano being dumb for not understanding why he refuses to play Greaseman promos
  • Jerry Seinfeld calls in to promote his ''Rolling Stone'' magazine cover
  • An angry caller complains about things Howard has been saying on the air
  • Howard takes a call from a Michael J. Fox impersonator
  • Howard plays some Stuttering John interviews including Werner Klemperer (Colonel Klink), Baseball player Don Mattingly and Baseball announcer Tony Kubeck

  ---

  -- Friday December 17, 1999 --

• The Best Of Stern. 12/17/99.
  One week down, two to go.. Here's what we heard on today's show:
  • ''Wood Yi, Philosopher'' book commercial parody
  • Red Peters' ''Peen Itch'' commercial parody
  • Tiny Tim sings ''Santa Claus Has Got The AIDS This Year''
  • Smokin Joe Frasier and his son visit Howard
  • Howard talks about Fred and Jackie's wives acting
  • ''Guess Who's The Jew'' with Kurt Waldheim Jr.
  • Howard talks about how pussy whipped Jackie is / Jackie's wife calls in to defend herself
  • Howard learns about the horrible life of a female caller
  • Stuttering John and Ralph get into a fight when John wakes Ralph up during a nap
  • Howard argues with a black guy about playing Daniel Carver's KKK message on the air
  • Howard plays a phony phone call made to Tom Chiusano by the King of all Song Parodies