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Howard Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 10/11/99 to 10/15/99

-- Monday October 11, 1999 --

Robin's Cat Comes To Work. 10/11/99. 6:05am
First thing this morning Robin walked in to her little fish tank with her cat Shadow. Howard noticed and asked what it was doing there. Robin said she has to bring him to the Veterinarian's office today and there's a parade going on later in the morning so she figures she wouldn't be able to make it home to pick the cat up. Shadow has been throwing up after eating so she needs to get him checked out.
Howard's Weekend Indoors. 10/11/99. 6:20am
Howard said he spent his whole weekend inside because they've been spraying for mosquitos out near his house. They're trying to kill off the mosquitos to stop the spread of Encephalitis in the New York area. People in the areas being sprayed are warned to stay inside to avoid coming in contact with the chemicals. Robin said when she goes outside she starts to cough from the chemicals. She thinks that they're being experimented on. Howard said he spent all weekend watching TV instead of enjoying the outdoors. The discussion soon changed to marriage and Gary. Howard once again brought up how he tried to talk Gary out of getting married but he didn't listen and now he's learning his lesson the hard way.
Howard Replays Gary Garver Interviews. 10/11/99. 7:20am
Howard replayed tape of some Gary Garver interviews that he played a few weeks back. You can read about them in my news archives for the week of 9-13-99. They included Gena Lee Nolin, Regis Philbin, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Kelsey Grammar, Moesha and Peter Fonda.
Howard Plays Lyndon Johnson Taped Phone Calls. 10/11/99. 7:50am
Howard had some interesting tapes he got from Simon and Schuster. The tapes contain audio of President Lyndon Johnson's phone calls. He apparently taped all of his phone calls and they're available to listen to. Howard played a clip of Johnson talking to a company that makes his pants. He tells them what he wants them to do when they make him new pants. He says they need to be the color of the powder women put on their faces and that he needs a couple of inches of material in the waist so he can let them out because he can vary a couple of inches in a month's time. He also asks them to make the crotch area bigger because his nuts feel like they're on barb wire. Then he lets out a belch and talks about his bung hole. Howard thought it was so funny he had to play it twice. The name of the tape was ''Taking Charge : The Johnson White House Tapes, 1963-1964'' and it's available on audio cassette.
Howard Plays Tape Of Gary's Book Reading. 10/11/99. 8:00am
Last week Gary went to some event where he was to read a book for kids between the ages of 5 and 10. Howard played some tape of the event this morning where Gary is introduced to the kids. Gary then tries to explain to the kids what his job is. He explained it but since he was talking to kids he explained it like he was the producer of a normal radio show. He said that he helps his boss prepare for the morning show by making sure he has the correct news and weather reports and stuff like that. Howard hasn't done a weather report in years. Gary just explained that he was talking to kids so they don't really need to know what he really does. Gary then read for the kids with those big teeth of his getting in the way.
Riley Martin Sentenced To 5 Years In State Prison. 10/11/99. 10:10am
Riley Martin the wacky alien abductee who's been on the show many times was sentenced to 5 years in state prison for distribution of cocaine. Robin received a fax this morning and read it during her news segment. The last time Riley called in he thought that he was just going to get a slap on the wrist but it appears he was wrong. Howard said that he's sad to hear that because he really likes Riley. Riley has a web site but I don't think he'll be able to update it from jail.
-- Tuesday October 12, 1999 --
Howard Talks To The Regular Guys In Atlanta. 10/12/99. 6:20am
Howard finally made it on the air in Atlanta, Georgia... on The Regular Guys radio show. Apparently these guys called Howard and asked him to come on the air with them. Surprisingly Howard agreed and took the call this morning. After the Regular Guys did their weather report they picked up the phone and proceeded to bash Howard. They told Howard that he's getting old and that he should stop saying that everyone is stealing his act because they learned it from Steve Dahl. Of course they wouldn't let Howard get a word in and they talked all over him through the whole call. Howard said that now he's going to beg Mel Karmazin to get him on a station down there just so he can beat their asses. They kept telling Howard that they don't listen to him but they knew about how much money he makes and that he sees a psychiatrist.
Stephanie Comes In To Get Breast Implants. 10/12/99. 6:40am
This 23 year old woman Stephanie called in recently and told Howard that all of the women he gives breast implants to aren't worth it because they don't look that good after the implants. Stephanie said that she would be a perfect 10 if she just had implants. Howard told her to come in so he could see what she looks like. This morning she came in. When she came in Howard said she had a really great body and a cute face. He said she might not be able to be a perfect 10 but she'd look pretty good. The first thing she did was show Howard her ass in a thong. Howard and even KC enjoyed that. Then she showed Howard her tiny breasts which aren't even an A-cup. Robin said they're so small they probably wouldn't have to cube them out when they show her on E!. Howard told her that if she does get implants she shouldn't get more than a A or B-cup. She agreed to that. Dr. Sal Calabro called in and told Howard he'd do the implants like he's done so many times in the past. Howard said this might be the last set for a while because he feels like he's taking advantage of Dr. Calabro. Howard told Stephanie that she has to come back and show him the implants when she's done. He also told Calabro that he should just give her ''tear drops'' and not make them too big. Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to Stephanie before she left. She said she's only had 3 boyfriends in her short life and has never tried anal sex.
Howard Plays With Fart Sludge. 10/12/99. 7:10am
Right after a commercial break Howard came back making all kinds of fart sounds. He told Robin that he was using this Fart Sludge toy and during the commercial he fooled Jackie into thinking he was actually farting. Howard played with it for a minute then moved on to other things.
Candy Apples Gang Bang Update. 10/12/99. 8:10am
Porn actress Candy Apples, who was in last week, was on the phone this morning to give Howard an update on what happened at her gang bang. Howard had an article about the gang bang that claimed she only had about 60 guys there who banged her 775 times. Candy said there were about 300-400 guys there and eventually the cops broke up the gang bang. Apparently they'd gotten the wrong type of permit for filming at the location they were at. She said she could have gone longer because she wasn't sore and she didn't need to be iced down. She also failed to marry her fiance like she'd planned on doing. Melrose Larry Green was there so he called in to back up Candy's claims. He said that there were probably between 275 and 300 guys there to bang Candy. Candy said you'll be able to see what went on there at GangBang.com later this week.
Carnie Wilson Comes In. 10/12/99. 8:35am
Singer Carnie Wilson came in to talk to Howard about how she had her stomach stapled recently. Carnie weighed in at about 296 pounds when she decided to do something to lose her weight. When she came in Howard said she looks big but has lost 50 pounds so far. She's already looking better. She told Howard that she now eats very little after having an operation to make her stomach much smaller. She said it's about the size of a thimble now. She said there wasn't too much pain after the operation which went through her belly button. She claims that her doctor told her that her skin should snap back after she loses her weight because she's always worked out and she's still young. Howard figured she'd have to have an operation to pull back the skin. Carnie said her ideal weight would be 125-130 pounds. She said it took a while before she could eat normal food after being on a water, broth and Jello diet for a week. She had her operation done on a web site called ADoctorInYourHouse.com. She said she did it that way to get the word out about the seriousness of being overweight. When she did it about 2.5 million people logged on and crashed the server. She says she's not doing this to look better, she's doing it to feel better. She told Howard it's not all about looks. She showed Howard a picture of herself right after her surgery and Howard said she looked horrible. Howard found it hard to believe that her boyfriend Rob was attracted to her at the time. He had Rob brought in so he could find out what was with him. Howard said Rob's a thin good looking guy. Rob said he doesn't have any ulterior motives, he just loves Carnie. Howard predicts that their relationship won't last and told them that. Carnie couldn't believe he would say that to their faces. Carnie also told Howard that she has a round, firm ass but he couldn't believe it. Surprisingly she actually showed it to him. Howard said it looked like a bag of marbles and that it wasn't firm. He said there's no way it could be firm when she's that fat. Howard spent some more time talking to the two of them and found out that Carnie gave Rob oral sex on the first date and they had sex on the second date. Howard couldn't believe that Rob could have regular sex with Carnie being so big. Carnie said it was possible and it was great. Carnie is now doing a show called ''Beach Boys Family and Friends'' which is playing at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas from November 18 to December 1. Rob is in a band called ''Blush'' and Howard played a short clip of it before they left. It didn't sound too bad.
-- Wednesday October 13, 1999 --
Bernard Edward's Project Homicide. 10/13/99. 6:30am
This guy Bernard called in recently and told Howard that his CD ''Bernard Edward's Project Homicide'' is better than all of those other CD's people send in for Howard to listen to. Bernard said that Howard would definitely like the song. Howard knew that it would suck so he invited the guy to send in one of his songs. This morning Bernard called in to get his critique. Howard told that guy that he was going to be very honest and Bernard was willing to let him do it. Howard played the song for a couple of minutes and said that he didn't want to subject his audience to any more. Howard called the song less than mediocre and told Bernard that it just wasn't happening. Bernard said that he should have played the whole song through so the audience could hear it. Howard took a bunch of random phone calls to get their reviews since Howard had already called it mediocre. The audience agreed Howard's views. They all told 35 year old Bernard that he's wasting his time with his music. Bernard was very defensive and it didn't help his cause. Then one caller said she enjoyed the music.. an 8 year old by the name of Abby. She also said she enjoys The Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. A music reviewer from Baltimore also called in and said the music wasn't good. She said it wasn't trendy. Bernard said he wasn't trying to be trendy and he doesn't care what people think of his music anyway.
Fred's Nephew Justin Visits. 10/13/99. 7:10am
Fred's 20 year old nephew Justin came in to visit his uncle this morning. It turns out Fred and his brother don't get along too well so he doesn't see his nephew much. He said he saw him a couple of years ago and before that it might have been 20 years or so. Justin works up at WCCC in Hartford, Connecticut as in intern. He's following in his uncle's footsteps and is even going to the same college. At one point Howard asked Justin if he wanted to give his uncle a hug and he said ''yes.'' The two of them embraced for a couple of seconds and Howard kiddingly said it looked like Fred was going to cry. He also said that the two of them look very much alike. Justin said it's pretty cool to have an uncle who's pretty famous and most of the family feels that way. Fred's brother used to beat him up as a child and that's part of the reason he doesn't stay in touch with him. He said there's more to it than that but he wouldn't elaborate on the story. Justin said that he wants to stay in touch with his uncle now and he may come to visit him more now.
KC's Rage. 10/13/99. 7:30am
Howard had KC come in and tell Robin about why he's not feeling too well this morning. KC told Robin how he had to travel out to Long Island to go to the bank to get some money. He broke the windshield in his car and everyone wanted to know how he did that. KC told Robin that he was trying to pull a baseball bat out of his trunk. He said it was kind of stuck in there and he had to yank it out. When he did that it came flying out and smashed his windshield. He explained it as just being hard to get out of the trunk but Howard said it was probably his rage that drove it into the window. Apparently KC has a short fuse and when he gets frustrated he gets pissed. He also had to travel way out on Long Island because his bank is located way out on the east end of the island. He said he likes his bank and doesn't want to get one closer because of that.
More F-Emmy Awards. 10/13/99. 8:00am
The longest awards show in history continued this morning with a couple more categories. The first category up was ''Best Farter.'' And the nominees were:
- Kip The Farter breaks the 5 minute record attempt
- Travis The Farter farts in Zita the sex slave's face
- Dan The Farter craps on the floor to Robin's news theme music
And the F-Emmy went to... Travis! Travis was on the phone to accept. Travis gave a few thanks but Howard told him his other end had more personality and had him rip some farts. A short time later Dan the farter called in. He thought that he should win because he has more talent than Travis. He said Travis is good but he's better. Howard then had them both ripping farts on the phone for a couple of minutes. Then another farter, Jeremy, called in complaining about the F-Emmy. He also ripped some farts doing his famous duck farts. Howard reminded Dan and Jeremy that there's always next year.
The next category was ''Best Staff Argument Without Howard Stern.'' And the nominees were:
- Robin and Fred argue about Cindy Crawford
- Robin and Jackie argue for the hell of it
- Gary and Ralph argue over a movie screening seat problem
And the F-Emmy goes to.. Gary and Ralph. Gary came in and accepted his award but Ralph was running a little late so he wasn't there. He showed up a few minutes later as Howard was getting ready to move on to the next category. He also thanked a couple of people.
The next category this morning was ''Best Musical Performance.'' Howard said this could also be called ''Worst Musical Performance.'' And the nominees were:
- Howard Stern sings ''Everlong''
- Gary plays trumpet during Barry Williams ''Rhythm Of The Night'' performance
- Mike Gange sings Van Halen song
- Gary's trumpet performance during James Brown song
- Howard and The Losers song ''Get Me High''
And the F-Emmy went to.. Mike Gange for his awful rendition of a Van Halen song. He came in and accepted his award. He said if he knew he'd be nominated for singing that song he would have put more effort into it. Robin said if he had put more effort in to it, he wouldn't have won.
Roxanne's Evaluation. 10/13/99. 8:50am
Howard got a letter from this woman who claimed to be a 33 year old who wanted to get into stripping. Howard invited her down to be evaluated by Lonnie from Scores, Ronnie the limo driver and Ralph. The woman, Roxanne, claimed that she's 5'6'' tall, 114 pounds with DD-cup breasts. She also said she would describe herself as a Jewish Pamela Anderson. When she walked in Howard spoiled all of her claims by asking her if she's always been a woman. She also claims that she works out 4-5 hours a day. Ralph said she should make it 8 hours. She was very quiet so it was hard to hear anything she said. Howard spoke to her for a little while about her life. He tried to find out how old she really is but she stuck to 33. Eventually Howard had her take some clothes off to see what her body looked like. She was wearing pantyhose and a pushup bra. Ralph said her breasts were lumpy and they demanded she put on better panties because she was wearing huge panties under the 'hose. She went in the bathroom to change but when she came out she was still wearing the pantyhose. She later admitted she was covering up a cesarian section scar with the 'hose. A guy who claimed to be Roxanne's brother came in at one point but everyone thought he was her son, not her brother. They kicked him out because they thought he was under 18 years old. We soon found out that Roxanne is closer to 45 than 33. Everyone said she doesn't look too bad for a 45 year old but she can't be stripping at Scores. Lonnie let her down easy saying that the women that dance at Scores are very young because the clientele demands that. Ralph told Roxanne that she could, and should, get her implants fixed because they look odd. They're too big, too lumpy and they're misshapen. After Roxanne's evaluation Howard spent a little while longer talking to Lonnie about how great Scores is. Ralph and Ronnie are frequent visitors to the club and they also rave about how great it is. Howard is planning on going there soon. Lonnie invited him to see some of the auditions for the strippers. Lonnie said there's a long waiting list for women to get in and dance there.
One Last F-Emmy. 10/13/99. 9:45am
Howard had one last F-Emmy to give away this morning. The category was ''Wackiest Celebrity Moment.'' The nominees included:
- Geraldo Rivera calls in drunk and sleepy after the OJ Simpson verdict
- Roy Firestone sings a song about Kato Kalin
- Gary Busy speaks in tongues when Baba Booey tries to talk to Howard
And the winner was Gary Busy. Gary was supposed to be on the phone to accept but they had to call him back after he hung up while waiting on hold. Gary said that he's out in Oklahoma City doing some celebrity golf tournament. Howard spoke to him for a couple of minutes. He'd heard a story about Gary getting in a shoving match with Adam Sandler but Gary said that never happened. He ended up telling a story about how an improv skit he did with Jonathan Winters at a collectible show got blown out of proportion but that wasn't what Howard asked about. Gary said everything is going well with his marriage and his son is on the new TV show ''Shasta McNasty.'' Howard told Gary he's invited to come on the show anytime he wants to.
-- Thursday October 14, 1999 --
Howard Talks About The JonBenet Ramsey Verdict. 10/14/99. 6:15am
Howard spent some time talking about how the Grand Jury in the JonBenet Ramsey case couldn't come up with enough evidence to indict anyone. He pointed out some of the evidence that was plenty for him to figure out that someone in the house had to have committed the crime. He also read an article about how the case is just as bad as the OJ Simpson case. Howard thinks that these people who put their kids through these beauty pageants are abusing their children and something should be done about it.
No New Studio For Howard. 10/14/99. 6:50am
Howard had a meeting with his boss Mel Karmazin yesterday. Earlier in the week he said he was going to complain about Tom Chiusano and Andre ''Delay'' Gardner and how his studio ceilings are too low. When Howard yelled about all of this earlier in the week it sounded like he was demanding the meeting but it turns out Mel set up the meeting. Howard also said that he didn't complain about as much stuff as he'd originally planned. He and Mel discussed other business instead. He did ask about the studio though. Mel asked Howard why the company would do anything now with someone who's contract is up in a year. Howard figured that was a good point and dropped the idea. So for the last year of Howard's current contract he'll be stuck in his too-small studio. Mel told him he's looking into Howard's complaints about Andre and his delay button pushing.
Howard Yells At Stuttering John. 10/14/99. 7:40am
Throughout the morning Howard was talking about the Yankees and Mets baseball games. He found out that Stuttering John was at the Yankee game last night in a box seat right behind home plate. After the idea of that sunk into Howard's head he called John on it. John told Howard that a good friend of his got him the tickets. Howard questioned him further and found out that his friend was a stockbroker he'd met over the phone 7 years ago.. Through the show. Howard went nuts on John and told him he's not to use people who call the show for his own gains. John couldn't understand how that had anything to do with the show if the guy called the show looking for him and not Howard. Howard said that the guy called John because he wanted to be associated with someone from the show. John just didn't get it and after a couple of minutes worth of fighting Howard fired John. He then called Benjy in to find out if he understands what he was telling John. He didn't want Benjy to do the same thing. Benjy seemed to understand it a little bit better. In the mean time John was out clearing out his desk. Howard then figured he'd give John a second chance. He called John back in to see if he understood what he was saying yet. At first John was very defensive and called Howard's logic ''assinine'' and ''twisted.'' Howard was still willing to give John another chance because he thinks that he's an asset to the show. Howard did some mock phone calls where he'd pretend to be a stockbroker calling in to talk to him. After a couple of tries John finally had the right response so Howard offered him his job back. John said that he was actually thinking of leaving but thought better of it and accepted his job back.
Howard's Cousin Vinnie? 10/14/99. 8:30am
All morning Howard kept saying that his cousins were coming in to visit. He said everyone always wants to know about his Italian side (his mother) so he invited his cousins to come in. He later said that it was his cousin Vinnie and his uncle Tony who were coming in. Finally this guy Vinnie came in with a really gruff sounding voice. Robin said she thought he was uncle Tony, not a cousin. Howard said that Vinnie is his age. So Howard keeps promoting this guy like he's actually his cousin. Then it turns out uncle Tony doesn't want to come in so it's just Vinnie. Robin, or Sherlock Holmes as Howard later called her, knew that this guy wasn't really Howard's cousin. Howard had Vinnie tell these stories like Howard actually knew about them. Vinnie told a story about how when he was 5 years old he kicked his principal in the nuts when he tried to pick him up out of the street cross walk after he refused to let a crossing guard teach him how to cross the road. I think Howard just enjoys hearing this guy tell stories for some reason. He continues to try and fool everyone into thinking that this guy is really his cousin. Vinnie goes on to tell the story about how he drove his car into Studio 54 after they refused to let him in. Howard said there's a reference to that in the movie ''54.'' Vinnie went on and on with more stories. He told a long drawn out story about a horse he bet on all the time called ''Got No Tickets.'' There was a whole story behind the story about why he bet on that horse. It was just a bizarre situation. Oh, and Vinnie is known as ''The Tomato Man'' because he sells tomatoes. At certain times Robin would say how she doesn't think this guy has ever seen Howard's house or met any of his relatives. Howard eventually gave it away when he called Robin Sherlock Holmes since she was able to figure it out. He stuck to his story right to the end though.
Porn Star Michael J. Cox Calls In. 10/14/99. 9:05am
Porn star Michael J. Cox called in to talk to Howard for a few minutes this morning. Cox was in the Porno of the Month Club movie that Howard reviewed a couple of weeks back. Howard was interested in the guy because of his name. Howard interviewed the guy and found out that being a male porn star isn't all it's cracked up to be. Cox told Howard that last year he only made about $25,000 doing porn movies. He said this year he's already made more than that but it's not consistent. He said the getting laid part of the business is great but the pay sucks. He recommended that people avoid getting into it. He's been in the business for 8 years since he was 22. He said he got into the business after being laid off and being dumped by his girlfriend. He's now married again to a woman who used to model for Hustler and Penthouse. He said she sometimes brings other women home for him. He's not allowed to take his wedding ring off during movie shoots though. He's also not allowed to do anything with other women off camera. Cox gave out an address to get in touch with him.. 4794 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, CA 90046.
Will Howard Say ''Shit'' On The Air? 10/14/99. 9:50am
Howard and Robin were talking about how the CBS TV show ''Chicago Hope'' will air the word ''shit'' on the air tonight before 10pm. Howard wonders why this doesn't cause a problem with the FCC but it would if Howard said it. He knows that there's this thing called ''Safe Harbour'' where the FCC allows certain language to be used because they think that children aren't listening. The ''Safe Harbour'' is from 10pm to 6am so Howard wants to come on the air tomorrow morning at 5:58am, before saft harbour, and say the word. General Manager Tom Chiusano came down and told Howard that he can't do it. He said Infinity Broadcasting has a policy against that. When Howard found out that ''Chicago Hope'' airs at 9pm, before safe harbour, he said he'd like to do his thing at 6:05am. Tom said that comedy isn't protected like serious shows when it comes to language. Howard pointed out that they allow songs on the air where bands curse. A caller pointed out that they allow rock bands to say curse words but rap bands are censored. It's all a big gray area. Howard said he's going to write a letter to the FCC himself to find out what the deal is with all of this.
-- Friday October 15, 1999 --
No ''Shit'' Coming Out Of Howard's Mouth. 10/15/99. 6:25am
Late in the show yesterday Howard was thinking of saying the word ''shit'' on the air after hearing that ''Chicago Hope'' was going to air the word on CBS. He and Tom argued about it for a while and Howard eventually told Tom to go ask some people if it would be possible. This morning Howard had Tom come in to find out what he found out. Tom still said ''no'' to Howard. He didn't have an explanation other than ''it's against company policy'' to say curse words. But Howard still pointed out that they play songs with curse words like ''fuck'' and ''mother fucker'' in them. Pearl Jam and Guns N Roses were just a couple of examples. Tom said they're going to go through those songs now and censor out the words. Howard told him he'd better do that because he's going to report the station to the FCC if they don't. He doesn't like the inconsistency of the station's ''policy.'' Howard took phone calls from listeners who managed to get in the word in different ways. One guy called in and said he has a dog.. a Shitzu. Howard later said that they should change Tom's name to Tom Lipshitz. After a commercial break Howard came back and said ''Mr. Lipshitz had a shitzu and a PUSSY-cat.''
''Private Parts'' Character Symphony Sid Died. 10/15/99. 7:20am
Howard learned that the actor who played Symphony Sid in his movie died recently at the age of 70. Fred told Howard the guy's name was Richard B. Shull. Howard said he spent the whole day with that guy when they were filming the scene. He gave Richard some of the words to use when he went crazy smashing records.
Tara The Fitness Model Burps For Howard. 10/15/99. 7:30am
This 26 year old woman Tara called in the other morning to tell Howard that she can burp better than the other women who have been on the show recently. She also said that she's a lot hotter than them so Howard invited her down. She came in this morning and Howard was really impressed with her body. He said she was really cute and her body was great. She told Howard that she has 34 C-cup breast size but they're implants. She thinks that they're spread a little far apart but Howard wasn't complaining. He said she has a six-pack stomach and nice full lips. Even KC thought she was really cute. Tara told Howard that she never burps in front of anyone and even her fiance didn't know that she can burp like this. She said the only person who knew was her mother. Howard was interested to see the guy who's engaged to Tara so he invited him in. The guy is 43 years old but Tara said he's really handsome. The guy has a son almost as old as Tara! He said that his son's friends come over just to check Tara out. Howard spoke to him for a couple of minutes then had Tara demonstrate her belching talent. She gulped down some air and let out a few nasty, gurgling burps. Howard said it sounded like the ''Exorcist.'' At one point Tara went and changed her outfit for Howard. She got into a bikini that disappeared into her ass according to Robin. Howard checked her out for a couple of minutes then ended the segment. Tara complained that she hadn't gotten a hug from Howard so he brought her back and gave her the hug. After the interview all of the guys had a short discussion about her. Gary was one of the only guys who thought that Tara wasn't that cute. Howard said he's got weird taste when it comes to women. KC liked her because she didn't have any fat on her at all.
Fred's Plugs. 10/15/99. 8:10am
Each day after the show Howard has Fred read his plugs. Usually Fred has a plug for himself and one for Scott the engineer. Howard never hears the plugs but he's heard about how wacky they are. Today he had tapes of Fred reading the plugs so he played a couple of the tapes. Fred does his own little show during the plugs and Howard thought it was funny to hear. He said that the music director, Steve Kingston, goes nuts over Fred doing his stuff because he just wants them to get to the music. Fred also puts on a mellow voice that goes up and down so much that you can't follow exactly what he's talking about. Even Jackie had the balls to make fun of Fred during this whole thing. Fred also does a lot of non sequiturs during his plugs. Like in one tape he's talking about a town where his band is appearing and he just blurts out ''..home of Dan Forman..'' like someone's going to know what he's talking about.
The Gossip Game With Guest Jane Pratt. 10/15/99. 8:45am
Jane Pratt, Editor of the magazine ''Jane'', came in to play the Mike Walker Gossip Game this morning. Howard recently heard that Jane was out at a party playing spin-the-bottle with some celebrities so he wanted to find out more about that. First they got Mike Walker on the phone to play the gossip game. Mike has a new book out called ''Malicious Intent : A Hollywood Fable'' so Howard let him get a plug in for that. Howard is quoted on the book jacket as calling Mike ''The Hemingway of gossip..'' Before the game Mike brought up the story that Howard was interested in. In the story they said that Jane played spin the bottle and kissed Drew Barrymore. Jane said that was true but there was no tongue involved. It was just an innocent kiss on the lips. Howard quickly moved on to the game to get that out of the way.
Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. Here are this week's stories:
1. Demi Moore heard that her almost-ex-husband Bruce Willis wants his attorney to take an inventory of her doll collection so they can sell them off and split the money from the sale. Demi called Bruce and said the dolls are off limits.
2. Heather Locklear wears an oral retainer each night to keep her pearly white teeth in line.
3. A flower sales person came up to Jack Nicolson and girlfriend Lara Flynn Boyle and asked Jackie if he'd like a flower for his granddaughter. Jack almost went off on the person but saw Danny Devito laughing at a table nearby. Devito hired the person to play the joke on Jack.
4. Richard Simmons threw a tantrum on the set of his TV show and locked himself in his trailer. He was later talked out of the trailer and came out smiling.
Howard and Jackie both picked number 1 as the false story. Jane picked number 3 and Robin picked number 2. The actual false story was number one. Howard and Jackie both coming in with the win. Robin's winning streak was broken last week so now she's on a losing streak.
After the game Howard spent time talking to Jane about her magazine, lesbianism and her failed TV show. Jane had a show before Rikki Lake but it was canceled for some reason. Jane said she found out it was canceled when her car failed to show up and her cellular phone stopped working. Howard also brought up the Drew Barrymore story again. Howard had heard that Jane also introduced Drew to lesbianism but Jane said that's just untrue. She said she's really good friends with her but that's it. Jane has ''dabbled'' in lesbianism 2 times but not with Drew. She said if that's the way she was going to go then Drew would be the one she'd like to be with though. Jane said she's willing to try anything once but she loves men. She said she'd like to get married and have kids some day. Howard got her to tell her lesbian stories but she only went all the way one time. Another time she said there was a guy in the room and he joined in. Fat Benjy heard Jane say that she'd try anything once so he came in with his shirt off and asked her if she'd go out with him. She didn't say no! She said she might try that once and she's not superficial! Howard told Benjy to get out of the studio. Before ending the segment Howard took a bunch of phone calls for Jane and also plugged her magazine. He said some of the subjects they do stories on include multiple orgasms, sexy underwear and testing techniques on keeping Mr. Right. Captain Janks also called in at one point. He'd made a phony phone call to her show way back in 1992 so he replayed that for her. In the call he called Jane a bitch and today he apologized for that.