Howard Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 1/18/99 to 1/22/99

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-- Monday January 18, 1999 --
• The Best Of Stern. 1/18/99.
  Yes, Howard was off for Martin Luther King day. He'll be back tomorrow. Here's today's best of list:
  • ''Quincy Jones - Screwed Up'' commercial parody.
  • Oprah Winfrey Dickie Goodman parody.
  • Fred the Elephant Boy and Stuttering John argue on the air.
  • Author Lawrence Schiller talks about writing a book with O.J. Simpson.
  • ''Guess Who's The Jew'' with Kurt Waldheim Jr.
  • Jim Carrey sits in during Robin's news segment.
  • Listeners call in to complain about Stuttering John's strange behavior.
  • A woman tells her horror story about her trip to St. Croy.
  • Another woman thinks Howard doesn't know anything about St. Croy and argues with him.

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  -- Tuesday January 19, 1999 --

• Howard Collects His $400 Worth Of Bets. 1/19/99. 6:05am
  Howard came back from his three day weekend and quickly collected his $400 worth of winning bets from this weekend's Jets game. Howard bet $100 with Jackie, John, Robin and Fred and won. They spent a while talking about the game and how Howard didn't think the Jets had a chance to win. Howard also spent a while talking about the Mike Tyson fight from Saturday night. Howard thought that the interview with Tyson after the fight was pretty funny so he had someone call in with the audio. One guy played it over the phone but it wasn't as funny as it was when Howard saw it on TV.

• Porn Star Houston Touched Howard's Penis? 1/19/99. 6:50am
  One listener called in and read an article about Houston the porn star from some Florida newspaper. In the article Houston claims that when she ''fluffed'' Howard for measuring his penis she actually touched it. She also said that he only measured 5 ½ inches but on the air he claimed 6. Howard denied that she touched it but she did try to do so. On the day it actually happened Howard said that Houston had looked at the measurement on the ruler but didn't say anything about her touching it. Robin thinks that he's just covering it up so his wife won't find out. That's probably closer to the truth.

• Kyle The Canadian Intern. 1/19/99. 7:35am
  Howard was talking about how fat and ugly Stuttering John has gotten lately. That led to a discussion about how John used to be the best looking guy on the show but now KC has taken that honor. Gary came in and said that they have a new intern who is really getting the attention from all of the women at the station. Kyle the Canadian intern is so good looking that after he walked away from one of the secretaries she was fanning herself. Howard had him come in to talk to him for a while. It turns out that he spends a hell of a lot of time keeping himself up. He gets manicures and waxes his eyebrows. Then Howard found out that the guy goes to a lesbian bar with a lesbian that works at the station. Kyle says that he's never wanted to have sex with a man after Howard asked him about it. What pissed Howard off was that Kyle is one of those guys who just waits for women to come up to him and ask him out. He doesn't have to go up to them. Howard said that guys like that have no rap and just piss him off.

• Stuttering John Interviews People About Martin Luther King. 1/19/99. 8:05am
  Howard played tape of Stuttering John out interviewing black people about the Martin Luther King holiday. John got a couple of guys who could barely speak the language and didn't have a clue about Martin Luther King's birthday. John also asked questions about what these guys think of the Jews, President Clinton and O.J. Simpson. Robin wondered why Howard had tape of only angry black guys talking about these subjects. Howard jokingly said he was trying to take a cross section of the population to get their opinions.

• Gary Garver Interviews Steve Allen. 1/19/99. 8:25am
  Los Angeles board operator Gary Garver went out and got a quick interview with comedian(?) Steve Allen. Allen has some group that's working to get people like Howard Stern off the air. Garver asked a few serious questions and didn't have time to goof on the guy because he was in a rush. Gary asked Allen about how his efforts are going as far as cleaning up the airwaves. Allen said ''Fantastic!'' He also asked Allen how he he'd stop comedians from working ''blue'' in their acts. Allen said he wouldn't stop them as long as they were in the right environment. He thinks that naughty language belongs in night clubs, not on the radio or on TV. Garver then asked ''What would you say to people who enjoy that type of entertainment?'' Allen said he'd say ''Knock it off..'' Garver then came back with ''Now that the President has slept with the President, don't you think the country is ready for that type of humor?'' Allen just said it was a ''national tragedy'' and said he had to run off because he was late. What a dick!

• Grandpa\Grandson Sex Update. 1/19/99. 9:15am
  Last week Howard had porn actress Christi Lake play a dial-a-date game with some listeners. The winner won sex with Christi. There was one team of a grandfather and grandson who were trying to win. Today the mother of the grandson called in to thank Howard for letting them play the game. Her son has a little bit of brain damage after being in a car accident so she's trying to get him some sex. What a mom! She was hoping that game would be the answer but it just didn't happen for them. Howard suggested that maybe she get the kid a hooker or something like that. She didn't seem interested in doing that though. She's hoping Howard will play another dial-a-date and let the kid play again. Later in the show a woman claiming to be a prostitute by the name of Anastasia called in. Anastasia said she'd like to offer herself to the grandpa\grandson team. Howard asked her a few questions and found out she usually gets $300 an hour. He invited her to come down to the studio tomorrow to find out how good she looks. Maybe Harry and Scott will get sex after all.. Tune in to find out.

• Update On Eddie The Jets Fan. 1/19/99. 9:25am
  Last week this guy Eddie who leads the ''J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets Jets'' cheer at all of the Jets' games called in. Today a guy called in who claimed he was with Eddie at the game this weekend where the Jets lost to Denver. He said that Eddie just about cried when his team lost. He also said that they had beer cans thrown at them and were pretty much chased out of the stadium after the game. Howard only had the guy on the phone for about a minute then he led the cheer ''L-O-S-E-R-S, Losers, Losers, Losers!'' Here's another one for those people who hate the Jets...''J-E-T-S, Suck, Suck, Suck!''

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  -- Wednesday January 20, 1999 --

• Howard's Scores Birthday Party. 1/20/99. 6:05am
  Howard had a big birthday party at Scores yesterday after the show. He and a bunch of the guys from the show went over and had some seafood and strippers. Howard was still on a high from the party when he got on the air this morning. I haven't heard him so alive at 6 o'clock in the morning in a long time. He went on for about 20 minutes without taking a break. He said they had some new strippers and Lonnie, Scores manager, was great by giving them like $5000 worth of Scores funny money for the exotic dancers. It sounded like they had a hell of a time there. Howard said he was there until about 3:30 yesterday afternoon. Ralph came in and Howard was puzzled as to why he showed up late to the Scores party yesterday. Ralph said he was really busy working on plans for the NATPE convention next week. Howard said that Ralph goes to Scores about 2 to 3 times a week as it is though.

• King Of All Jackie Haters Comes In. 1/20/99. 7:15am
  This guy who calls himself the ''King of all Jackie Haters'' came in to tell Howard about his group H.A.M - ''Hatred Against Martling.'' The guy claims that there are 12,000 people in H.A.M. and that they want Jackie to apologize for leaving the show hanging last year at this time. Jackie was in contract negotiations and was off the show for about 6 weeks. This guy says that through everything Howard's fans will stick with him. Jackie, on the other hand, doesn't care about what happens to the show, only what happens with his money. KOAJH said that until Jackie apologizes he'll be boycotting Jackie's shows. You can join H.A.M. by e-mailing KOAJH at atdotcom@aol.com.

• John Bain The Biggest Rubberband Ball Guy. 1/20/99. 7:30am
  John Bain has a rubberband ball 11 feet in circumference and weighs in at 1476 pounds. Howard spoke to the guy and can't imagine why anyone would make something so ridiculous. John wants to get it in the Guiness Book of World Records. Howard basically told the guy that he should get a life. John does have a girlfriend so Howard couldn't really call him a total loser. John told Howard that he goes to the University of Delaware but that didn't impress him. By the end of the call John sounded pretty bummed out. He told Howard that he was originally calling in to try and get a sponsorship but he already got one. Staples will be sponsoring him and even wants him to make the longest paper clip chain. He'll be connecting paperclips which will stretch 11 miles. John said that he wants to become an actor someday even though he's never taken an acting class in his life. Maybe the paper clip chain will be his big break into show business.

• Another KC Game. 1/20/99. 7:55am
  Associate Producer KC had another one of his guessing games to play today. This time it was rock star trivia. KC read off some trivia and gave two possible answers. Robin and Howard tried to pick the correct answer. KC got the information out of a book called ''Rock Stars Do the Dumbest Things.'' Here are some of the questions he asked:
  • They gave money to their fan club to buy albums - The Bee Gees
  • He ate a used tampon from a fan - G.G. Allin
  • They were arrested for being drunk and vandalizing a movie theater - Metallica
  • He was buried in a leather jacket and jock strap - G.G. Allin
  • He was tricked by a girlfriend to get circumsized - Chuck Berry
  • He married Cher - Greg Allman
  • He proposed marriage to his wife saying ''Can you accept the fact that I don't love you?'' - David Bowie
  • They brought a chainsaw on tour with them so they could chop up hotel rooms - Aerosmith
  Howard rushed through the game because he doesn't like to bore the audience for too long. Maybe he rushed through it to get to more important things?

• Jackie History Lesson. 1/20/99. 8:05am
  Howard was introducing Julie the hermaphrodite when he got on the subject of how Jackie got hired on the show. Howard claims that he and Fred heard Jackie's album and came up with the idea to do ''Stump the Jokeman.'' He came on and the rest is history. Jackie had to argue with Howard and said that he's rewriting history. Jackie claims that he actually came up with the idea for ''Stump the Jokeman'' not Howard and Fred. Even Fred agrees that it was he and Howard that came up with the original idea. We may never know who's telling the truth.

• Julie The Hermaphrodite Comes In. 1/20/99. 8:15am
  Julie the hermaphrodite will be having a gender change on the web on January 28. Julie came in to explain her life story and tell Howard why she's doing this. Julie was born with both a vagina and a penis. Neither one was fully formed so her father chose to make her a man. Gary said that Julie is 47 years old, kind of heavy and has pretty masculine features. When she came in she sounded very much like a man. Julie said that genetically she's definitely a woman with XX chromosomes. She lived as a man while her father was alive but for the past 24 years or so she's been living as a woman with an ''infantile'' penis. She did father a child at some point in her life because her one real testicle was functional. Ralph was in the studio and he told Howard he thinks this is just a scam and Julie is a full man. Jackie seemed to agree with Ralph (that's scary) and he thinks the web site will be just full of ads and no video of the operation. The operation will be held live on www.genderchange.com and www.clublove.com at 8am Pacific, 11am Eastern on January 28. Because of the subject matter the delay button was hit quite a few times during the interview so who knows what was missed. One listener called in and pointed out that Club Love was the site that almost showed a scam of 2 virgins losing their virginity to each other. Someone said that it was Club Love that discoverd the scam and put a stop to it so this may not be a scam. We'll find out on January 28.

• Guy Suing Zoo Calls In. 1/20/99. 8:50am
  Robin recently read a news story about a guy who's suing a zoo because one of their gorilla's threw a rock at his son and hit him in the head. The guy brought his son to the zoo and he got hit by a rock thrown by the gorilla. The kid was traumatized by it so he went to a therapist. Part of his therapy was to go back to the zoo to see the gorillas again. He had rocks thrown at him again. Now the family is suing the zoo for $1 Million. Howard thought that it was a frivolous lawsuit and said so on the air. This morning the father of the kid called in to defend himself. At first they didn't believe it was really the father but his lawyer soon called in and confirmed it. The two of them soon convinced Howard that they probably have a good case against the zoo. They say that the zoo should have fences to protect the public from these wild animals. Howard still thought that it's an awful lot of money to be suing for even if the kid has been traumatized. Howard took a bunch of phone calls and a lot of people think this is a bunch of crap and the guy shouldn't have brought his kid back to the zoo to be hit for a second time. One woman claimed that rocks were thrown at her kid but he wasn't hit. She thought it was kind of amusing. Another caller said he has pictures of the kid, who's suing the zoo, taunting the gorillas. He wants money for the pictures though. It really is ridiculous to sue for that much money. If anything they should sue for the zoo to install better fencing to protect the visitors. After the call Howard took a break and after that there were lawyers calling in saying that those people really don't have a case. One guy said that there's an assumed risk when you go to a place like a zoo. When you're around wild animals anything can happen.

• Howard Argues With His Mommy. 1/20/99. 9:40am
  Howard was complaining about how KC hasn't been able to do his job of getting his lunch for him correctly lately. During that conversation Howard changed gears and got on the subject of how his mother used to clean his crap stained underwear in the bathroom sink. He explained how she'd clean them and leave them soaking in the sink so his sister would see the shit-stained underwear sitting there. His mother called in and told Howard that he was making all of this up and that she's never cleaned underwear in the sink. After 10 minutes of discussion Mrs. Stern had Howard change his tune and say that he was making up all of these stories that she doesn't remember. Howard just wanted to make his mommy happy and think that she never did any of these things that he claims she did. His father got in on the discussion also. Howard said that now he'll have to double up on his Psychiatrist sessions to get over all of this mess. At one point Howard said he was willing to take a lie detector test to prove that he's not lying. The problem is that they both seem to think they're telling the truth so they'd probably both pass the polygraph. To be fair to Howard, his mother is in her 70's so some of her memories may not be that great.

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  -- Thursday January 21, 1999 (Replayed on Master Tape Theatre on Sunday, January 30, 2011) --

• KC Reprimanded For Lunch Incident Yesterday. 1/21/99. 6:15am
  Yesterday Howard had started to complain about KC screwing up his lunch. He got off the subject and on to his underwear so he forgot to yell about KC. This morning he finished what he started. KC was in the studio to take his lumps like a man but Howard wasn't too upset. He told KC that he probably hates the fact that he has to get Howard's lunch as part of his job but it has to be done. Howard says that he shouldn't have hired a guy like KC to serve him because he probably finds it demeaning. KC told Howard that it will never happen again but both Robin and Howard believe that it's subconscious reaction to doing something he doesn't like. KC swore that it wouldn't happen so Howard made a deal with him. If KC screws up any of Howard's food demands he'll have to stand out on the street in a thong, high heels and a dunce cap. He didn't want to make the deal but he still swore it wouldn't happen again. Eventually Howard convinced him to take the deal.

• Anastasia The Whore Comes In. 1/21/99. 7:15am
  On Tuesday this woman Anastasia called in claiming that she was a hooker and offered to sleep with the Grandfather/Grandson team from the Christi Lake game last week. She came in so Howard could check her out this morning. She came in and quickly told Howard that she's not a hooker. She said that she has a ''circle of friends'' that she sleeps with. She was probably trying to keep it low key so the whore police wouldn't catch on. Howard said that she was really cute and even rated her at a 9 on a scale of 10! Howard asked her how she got into this and she said that she did it for her music. She apparently writes songs but she wasn't there to perform this morning. She said after she slept with the grand-team she'd come back and play her music. The Grandpa/Grandson team, Harry and Scott, were on the phone and were more than happy that this woman was putting the offer out. Harry, the grandpa, told Howard that he'd do anal on Anastasia. Scott the grandson hasn't had a woman yet so he doesn't know what he'd do to her. She may have to instruct him. She doesn't seem to mind doing any of this stuff either. She admitted to Howard that she once did 20 guys in one day back when she was doing bachelor parties. Howard said he'd like to hook them up together but he's not sure if he can. I guess he'd be afraid of being called a pimp or something. Scott's mother called in at one point and thanked Anastasia for doing this for her son and father. ''What a family'' Howard said. When we get more info on this situation I'll be sure to keep you updated.

• NY Mets Catcher Mike Piazza Comes In. 1/21/99. 7:50am
  New York Mets catcher Mike Piazza came in to promote the fact that Mets tickets will be on sale this Saturday at 9am. Mike and a bunch of other Mets will be at the Shea Stadium ticket box handing out coffee and donuts. Howard spent 99% of the interview talking to mike about his $97 Million contract and how many women he's banging. Mike told Howard that he dates about 2 to 3 women a year or so. Howard told him he should be banging tons of women with the amount of money he's making. Mike said he's got a flight attendant/Raiders cheerleader that he's been dating for a little while. Howard saw him with some hot woman in the city recently but Mike didn't say who she was. Howard took a bunch of phone calls from listeners for Mike also. Half of them were positive and half were negative. A lot of guys think he's not worth $13.8 Million a year and they let him know it. They also think that as a result of his huge salary the Mets ticket prices are going up. Mike says that's just not the case and he's not the only one getting a huge salary. Howard had 25 opening day Mets tickets to give away so when a real Mets fan would call in he'd give them tickets. Howard would get back to talking about sex after taking a couple of calls. Mike told Howard that women come up to him now and instead of giving him their phone numbers they just give him their hotel room key. He said that he really needs to screen these women so he doesn't just go out and bang them. Howard found out that Mike has attempted to contact beautiful women he's seen in magazines by having his agent call their agent but it hasn't really worked out for him. Howard told him that if he were him he'd ''..drop leaflets on Malibu..'' to pick up good looking women. Before Mike left one caller brought up the story of when Mike was hit in the nuts by a pitch. He talked about this the last time he was in but he got into more detail this time. His cup was broken in half and his nuts ballooned up to the size of elephant nuts. He told Howard how his nuts were up inside his body and how he had to ice them down. It just happened last August and he went right back out and continued playing the game. Howard told him that he's still be in bed if he were hit by a 90 mph ball.

• 1000th E! Show Tonight. 1/21/99. 8:45am
  Tonight's E! show marks the 1000th episode of Howard's cable TV show. The show first started airing back in June of 1994. Tonight's episode features porn star Jenna Jameson talking about how she's not dating Tommy Lee.

• Gina Has Her Breasts Evaluated. 1/21/99. 8:50am
  This woman Gina called in the other day and asked for Howard to look at her breasts to see if she's a good candidate for breast implants. She claims that she used to be a stripper before she had her kid so now she wants her breasts to be firm again. She came in today and Howard quickly checked them out. When Gina came in she looked high but she claimed that she was just enamored with Howard and had a goofy look on her face. Someone mentioned that she'd gone to the bathroom about 8 times while she was waiting to come on but she just said that she was nervous. Gina told Howard that she was hoping that he'd hook her up with Dr. Sal Calabro who has given away more than one set of free breast implants. Howard told her that he can't just give away all of his work or he'd go broke. He told her that she'd have to pay for them herself. Gina was wearing a coat over her bra so she took it off and showed Howard her breasts. She had a child and breast fed so they're drooping now. Howard told her that she's definitely a candidate for implants. Howard pointed out that she had a huge belly button piercing which turned out to be a pearl. Howard said it's the biggest pearl he's ever seen and it didn't belong in her belly button. After she left the studio Robin asked Howard how he felt when Gina looked at her with such love. Howard said something that made it sound like she must not have been a pleasant looking woman. He didn't spend much time with her either so he couldn't have been too impressed with her. If Gina gets her implants she'll probably come back to show them off.

• Baba ''Booey-Gate.'' 1/21/99. 10:25am
  Late in the show Howard was telling Robin about a contest that he and Gary were going to be playing this year. The prize for the contest is for a grand prize of a Mercedes Benz. Howard was explaining how each week they have to pick songs and how well they'll do as far as air play. At the end of the year who ever predicts the most accurately wins the car. Gary has been doing it for a little while now and was claiming that he could do better than Howard because he has a ''Golden Ear'' for what people want to hear. The contest is based on air play so Howard says it's bogus because air play can be controlled by the people who are contestants in the game. He said that if it were based on sales, which can be tracked accurately, he'd be able to win. One of the guys, Booker, who works at Howard's station was the winner of the contest one year. Booker was actually hired at K-Rock because he won that contest and has the magical ''Golden Ear.'' Howard's buddy Ralph called in at one point and asked Howard if he knew that Gary was consulting with Booker about the songs. That lit the fuse.. Gary said he does talk to Booker but makes his own decisions on the songs each week. Howard went nuts. He can't believe that Gary would tell everyone that he has a ''golden ear'' and not tell them that he consults with an expert. That led to a fight that lasted about 20 minutes or so. Gary and Ralph were at each others throats and Howard was calling Gary a cheater. Gary got so riled up that he said he wanted to fight Howard.. like he did with Sal the Stockbroker not too long ago. Gary said that Howard would have done the same thing as he did. He said that Howard would have consulted with Ralph over the songs. Howard said that he was going to do it totally on his own but Ralph was never the winner of the contest so it wouldn't have really mattered. It was the greatest fight I've heard in a long time. Howard ended up calling the incident ''Booey-Gate.'' He spent the rest of the morning goofing on Gary about the whole thing.

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  -- Friday January 22, 1999 --

• Howard Feuding With Tom Chiusano. 1/22/99. 6:05am
  Howard is feuding with General Manager Tom Chiusano. Howard has refused to meet with Tom after the show each morning. It seems that Tom wants to talk to Howard about an upcoming guest who shoots a banana out of her vagina. Tom doesn't like the subject matter and doesn't want Howard to have it on the air. Howard said he's doing it and that's that. Gary came in and told Howard that now Tom is withholding a purchase order for some equipment that they need for the upcoming NATPE convention remote until Howard meets with him. Howard told Gary that he'll pay for the $400 worth of equipment himself before he meets with Tom. Howard also said that Tom is against doing the remote from the NATPE convention which will be held in New Orleans. Tom seems to think that the remote is being done for the syndicated Saturday night show and not for radio so why should the radio station pay for it. Howard was also yelling about this guy Andre who's now in charge of hitting the delay button when Howard says something that might be considered ''dirty'' by the FCC. Howard said Andre's been hitting the delay button too much lately and he wants him out of there. Needless to say Howard was in a bad mood first thing this morning.

• Captain Janks Organizing AFA Protest. 1/22/99. 6:45am
  Gary mentioned earlier in the morning that the AFA(American Family Association) will be at the NATPE convention next week picketing Howard's show while they're down there. That led to phony phone caller Captain Janks calling in and offering to organize a protest against the AFA at the same time. Janks said he won't be able to go himself but he'll be able to organize people to be there at the right time. If you want to participate in the protest just e-mail Captain Janks at captainjanks@captainjanks.com

• The Mike Walker Gossip Game With Chuck Zito. 1/22/99. 7:05am
  Tough guy actor Chuck Zito came in to talk to Howard about why he was sitting next to Pamela Anderson at the recent Mike Tyson fight. Howard invited him in to talk about that and play the Gossip Game with Mike Walker. Howard spent a few minutes talking to Chuck about how he keeps so fit and masculine. Chuck told him what he eats and that he only works out for an hour a day every day. Howard put off talking about the Pamela Anderson subject until after the Gossip Game.

  Each week Mike Walker calls in with 4 gossip stories. 3 of them are from Mike's National Enquirer gossip column, one is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. Here are this week's stories:

  1. ''Frasier'' star David Hyde Pierce let out a scream when he went to the bathroom all over clear plastic wrap that was put on his toilet. It turns out that Woody Harrelson who was making a guest appearance on ''Frasier'' had played the practical joke on him.
  2. Actor/Writer Billy Bob Thornton only eats with plastic disposable utensils at restaurants because they're cleaner than stainless steel. He also used the plastic at home.
  3. After a party Johnny Depp and a friend went around and collected wine from half drunk glasses. They walked away with 2 red and 2 white bottles of the disgusting brew.
  4. An employee of Steven Speilberg's innocently placed some thumbtacks on the directors chair. Speilberg unknowingly sat on the tacks and let out a scream. He was then seen pulling the tacks out of his ass.
  Chuck and Howard both chose number 4 as the false story. Robin and Fred chose number 2 and Jackie picked number 1. The actual false story was number 3. Nobody won this week!

  After the game Howard moved on to the Pamela Anderson story. Chuck went on to tell Howard that he and Pam are just friends that met through a mutual friend. Pam just happened to be in Las Vegas at the time of the fight so she was invited to go with Chuck and their mutual friend. Howard made a big fuss over nothing. Chuck said he's never slept with Pam. After that Howard took a couple of phone calls from listeners who just want to fight Chuck. This happened the last time Chuck was on the show. Guys just want to fight him. Chuck doesn't want to fight any of these guys but said he may do a real fight in the future and hinted that it may be with Jean Claude VanDamme. Right now Chuck is appearing in the HBO show ''Oz'' so he doesn't need to fight and make a mess out of his face. Chuck told Howard that ''Oz'' starts it's 3rd season on February 3 and they've doubled the number of shows for this season. Howard says the show is really good.

• Carmen Electra Comes In. 1/22/99. 7:55am
  Actress Carmen Electra came in to promote her new show ''Hyperion Bay'' which airs on the WB network. Howard spent most of the interview talking to Carmen about her marriage to basketball player Dennis Rodman. She went through all of the details, and there were a lot of them, with Howard. They went for almost a full hour without a break! Carmen claims that they're still married and they're not planning on getting an annulment like some newspapers have reported. She said that they don't spend a lot of time together but they do love each other. Howard found out that the two of them didn't sign any pre-nuptial agreement either. Carmen said she wouldn't want or need any of Dennis' money even if they did break up. A short time later bloated attorney Dominic Barbara called in and gave Carmen some advice about getting a post-nuptial agreement. He explained to her that if Dennis leaves basketball and blows all of his money he'll be able to get half of her money if they get a divorce. Howard said all the blood rushed out of Carmen's face when she heard that. Carmen said that she doesn't think Dennis would do that to her. After that Chaunce Hayden from ''Steppin' Out Magazine'' called in. Chaunce did an interview with Dennis' old girlfriend Stacy Yarbourough and he told Carmen some of the details. According to Chaunce, Dennis is still dating Stacy on the side and even had the two of them at the same hotel up in Canada. When Carmen heard all of these things she suggested they call Dennis to find out if they're true or not. She said if they are true she won't stay with him. She gave Howard the phone number and he gave him a call. Some guy picked up the phone and Howard got him to wake Dennis up. About 5 minutes later Dennis Rodman was on the phone. Dennis sounded a little, uh, wasted. Even Carmen said he must be drunk. He was yelling and rambling unintelligibly. Eventually Howard asked him a few questions. When Howard asked Dennis if he's cheating on Carmen Dennis replied ''Are you nuts?'' Dennis said that Carmen is great and he'd have to be nuts to cheat on her. He said that Carmen is one of the top 3 best looking women in the world. When Howard asked Dennis who the other two women were Dennis said the top 3 are ''Carmen Electra, Carmen Electra and Tara Patrick(Carmen's real name).'' Howard asked him about some of Chaunce's stories but Dennis would go off on another subject and avoid answering the question directly. Howard also asked Dennis if he'd be willing to sign a post-nuptial with Carmen. Dennis said he wouldn't do that because Carmen was the sweetest woman in the world and he doesn't think they need to have something like that. Howard later said that Dennis was in no condition to talk about that subject anyway. Howard asked Dennis a question about playing b'ball with the Knicks and he replied ''The hell with basketball!'' I guess Dennis is done with the sport. Howard couldn't get many answers out of Dennis so he got off the phone with him. He took a few phone calls for Carmen then had to end the hour long interview.

• Elephant Boy Movie Quotes Game. 1/22/99. 9:10am
  Howard had a trip to Las Vegas to give away so he had KC come in with his latest nightmarish game. KC had quotes from movies as read by Fred the Elephant Boy. Sounds like a good premise but, as we should all know by now, KC's games don't always go smoothly. Howard played one tape of Elephant Boy saying ''Are you talkin' to me?'' Howard guessed that it was Joe Pesci but it was Robert DeNiro from ''Taxi Driver.'' Howard said he's not that great at remembering lines like that so he got a guy on the phone to play. His first line to decipher was ''You had me from hello.'' Howard didn't know the answer.. no one did. It was a quote from ''Jerry McGuire.'' Howard was pissed already. He told KC that he doesn't understand that he should pull quotes that the average person would know. He gave the caller a break and played the next tape.. ''A flute with no holes is no flute and a donut without a hole is a danish.'' Still nothing. Nobody knew the answer except for KC. It was from ''Caddyshack.'' Howard still didn't like the quote for the caller so he gave him another chance with ''I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just going to bash your brains in, just bash your f'ing brains in.'' The caller got it right when he said Jack Nicholson in ''The Shining.'' Gary was ready to bring in some death trivia instead of suffering through KC's game but the guy won the Vegas trip already. Howard had Mets tickets to give away though so they did that instead. Gary would read off a name of a celebrity and the person would have to guess if they are dead or alive. Here are a few examples:
  • Robert Reed(Brady Bunch) - Dead
  • Tom Bosley(Happy Days) - Alive
  • Roxy Roker(The Jeffersons) - Dead
  • Paul Harvey(Radio guy) - Alive
  • Benny Hill - Dead
  • Catherine Hepburn - Alive
  • Russell Johnson(Gilligan's Island) - Alive
  • John Lee Hooker - Alive
  Howard gave away a few tickets then played the game himself for a few minutes. He eventually got sick of it and ended it before it bored the audience.