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Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 9/28/98 to 10/2/98

-- Friday October 2, 1998 --

Big Foot Matt Moving To California. 10/2/98. 6:35am
Freakish giant Matt McGrory was on the phone this morning to say good bye to Howard and the gang. Matt is moving out to California to become an actor. Howard's not sure what kind of roles Matt could play but he wished him luck. Howard came up with some ideas about some of the roles he could play but don't count on seeing him in any regular shows. I think Matt's 2 minute appearance on the FOX show ''Guiness Book Of World Records'' may have gone to his head. Howard said they'd keep in touch with Matt to see what he's up to.
Larry Ratso Sloman Comes In To Plug His Book. 10/2/98. 7:00am
Howard's buddy Larry Ratso Sloman came in to plug his new book about Abbie Hoffman called ''Steal This Dream : Abbie Hoffman and the Countercultural Revolution in America.'' Howard wrote the foreword for the book. Howard talked to Ratso for a little while to waste time waiting for Mike Walker to call in. After talking to Ratso about some boring crap Howard decided to take a break. After the break Mike Walker was on the phone.
The Mike Walker Gossip Game. 10/2/98. 7:30am
Mike Walker from the National Enquirer calls in each week with 4 stories from his gossip column. 3 of the stories are true, one is false. The object is to pick the false one. Mike is out in Hawaii for the big Hawaiian Tropic beauty contest. He said that Gary must have given him the wrong time to call in so he was a half hour late. Howard didn't get too upset with Gary because he had to move on with the game. Here are this week's stories:
1. Donny Osmond saw Pamela Anderson naked when he walked into her dressing room. She was doing the Donny and Marie show. He turned red and ran out.
2. Jim Carrey has started chewing mint leaves because he thinks it can stop cancer. Friends have said that he's becoming very odd just like the Andy Kauffman character he's playing in an upcoming movie.
3. Jack Nicolson and Michael Jordan had a side bet on a golf game they played together. The loser, Jack Nicolson, had to shine the other's shoes.
4. Actor Nathan Lane, who's on a diet, was caught cheating on the diet by his trainer. Nathan had just purchased a box of donuts. When he was caught he started handing out the donuts to passing pedestrians.
Ratso, Howard and Jackie all chose number 1 as the false story. Robin chose number 2. The actual false story was number 2. After the game Howard shuffled Ratso out and moved on to Lorenzo Lamas.
Lorenzo Lamas And Wife Come In. 10/2/98. 7:50am
Actor Lorenzo Lamas and his wife Shauna came in to promote their new TV show ''Air America.'' The show premieres this weekend and is syndicated so you'll have to check your local listings for time and channel. Howard spoke to them about their sex life and about Lorenzo's 3 wives. Howard was just about drooling over Shauna who has huge, natural breasts. Robin couldn't believe it when Shauna said they weren't implants. Shauna and Lorenzo claim that they have a very normal life with their new 11 month old child along with Lorenzo's other 3 kids. They made a big announcement while they were on the show. They announced that Shauna is 3 months pregnant with their second child. Howard seems to think that Lorenzo will use Shauna up and throw her away like he did with his other wives. Lorenzo says that she's is ''the one'' and that he's never felt the way he does with her. Howard said he loves to save tape of these guys who claim they're in love and play it back for them after they break up. We'll have to wait a couple of years to see what happens with them.
''Rush Hour'' Director Calls In. 10/2/98. 8:35am
The director of the Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan movie ''Rush Hour'' called in to give Howard an excuse for Chris Tucker not showing up on Howard's show. The director, Brett Ratner, gave the lamest excuse in the history of excuses. He said that Chris has women calling him all the time and he couldn't find time to do the show. Howard couldn't believe how lame this was. He told Brett to tell Chris Tucker, or Chris Rock Lite as Howard called him, that they're not interested in him anymore. F-RUSH HOUR and F- Chris Tucker.. oh yeah, F-Brett Ratner too.
Shaquille O'Neal Comes In. 10/2/98. 8:40am
Basketball player Shaquille O'Neal came in to promote his new CD ''Respect.'' I don't know if was just me but I could barely understand a word this guy said. He talks in such a low monotone that you had to have your head right next to the radio to hear his answers. Howard was talking to him about his sex life and about his eating habits but I'm not sure how he answered half the questions. Shaq had some of his posse in the studio with him too. They were able to speak clearly. I think the guys that were with Shaq want to go to Robin's gym to see her work out. They were talking about doing that but I doubt that Robin would want them there. After the interview Howard said that Shaq bench pressed Robin. He lifted her up over his head out in the hallway for some reason. I'll try listening to the Shaq interview one more time to see if there's anything worth mentioning but I doubt that I'll find anything.
Stuttering John's Album Off To A Slow Start. 10/2/98. 9:45am
Robin brought up the fact that Stuttering John has been complaining that no one knows that his album is out. ''Everybody's Normal But Me'' came out on Tuesday and John did a signing in Manhattan yesterday. A listener called in and said that there were maybe 20 people there. John came in and said that he hasn't slept in 4 days because he's under so much pressure. He's on a small record label and they're not helping John to promote the album much. He has another signing today at CD World in the Menlo Park Mall in Edison, NJ at 6:30pm. I was thinking of going just to add another body to the crowd but I don't know if I can make it. I have to say that I was a fan of his first album and I actually enjoyed a couple of the songs. If you're in the area of Edison just stop by and say hi to John. Maybe then he'll be able to get some sleep.
-- Thursday October 1, 1998 --
Howard's Behind The Scenes Discussion. 10/1/98. 6:05am
Howard was talking about how he was watching some of the behind the scenes tape from the gay dance party last week. He said it was really weird how comedian Jon Stewart just wandered around the building when he got there. No one told him where to go but the camera crew followed him around. Howard said it was funny how Gary didn't know where to put Jon so he walked into a bunch of different rooms looking for an empty one. There was also some stuff with the gay guys in the green room. They were having pictures taken with each other and stuff like that. Some of this weird tape should show up on this week's Saturday night show.
The American Bronzing Company. 10/1/98. 7:10am
This guy from a bronzing company called in to tell Howard about some of the weird stuff they bronze for people. He said that one time a guy sent in a pile of elephant crap to be bronzed. They did it with no problem. They even mounted it on a plaque for the guy. They've also bronzed a raccoon penis bone. The guy said that the raccoon is the only animal that actually has a bone in it's penis and it's about 4 inches long. Howard was thinking that they should have taken Dan the farter's shit from the other day and had that bronzed. The bronzing guy suggested that Howard get a phony pile of shit to be bronzed and used as the prize in the 5 minute fart contest. Howard said that he'd rather use real shit. He even said that everyone on the show should take a crap and have it bronzed so they could play ''Name That Feces.'' The bronzing guy didn't sound like he'd do that though. You can find out more about this bronzing company by visiting www.abcbronze.com.
Wrestler Jerry Lawler Calls In. 10/1/98. 7:15am
Jerry Lawler is the wrestler who dropped comedian Andy Kauffman on his head about 15 years ago. Jerry is playing himself in a movie about Andy Kauffman's life with Jim Carrey playing Andy. Recently there was an incident on the set where Jim Carrey spit in Jerry's face and Jerry almost beat the crap out of Jim. Jerry called in this morning to give his side of the story. Jerry claims that while they were filming a wrestling scene they were using a stunt double to do the drop on the head part. Jerry claims that Jim wanted to be more into the part and wanted Jerry to drop him on his head without telling the director. Jerry didn't want to do that so Jerry went to the director and told him about what Jim wanted to do. The director wrapped up the scene and Jim got pissed. Then Jim spit a big goober into Jerry's face. Jim tried to run out of the ring but Jerry caught him and yanked him into the ring. That's when Jim's neck was apparently hurt. Jim had to go to the hospital. Jerry thinks that Jim wasn't really hurt that bad and that he's doing it as a publicity stunt or just to get into the part more. Howard said that it was surprise that Jerry called in. He spent a while talking to him about some other Andy Kauffman stuff after the Jim Carrey story.
Dee Snider Comes In. 10/1/98. 7:55am
Dee Snider came in to promote his movie once again. Last week he was in last week for a whole morning but I guess it wasn't enough. Dee's movie ''Strangeland'' starts tomorrow. You can find out more about Dee and his movie at www.deesnider.com and www.deesniderstrangeland.com. Dee was also promoting the soundtrack album for the movie. It features a new song by Twisted Sister and a Marilyn Manson song among others. Dee stuck around for the rest of the show like he did last week.
Richard Greico Comes In. 10/1/98. 8:00am
Actor Richard Greico came in to promote the movie ''Night At The Roxbury.'' Richard plays himself in the movie which is based on the Saturday Night Live sketch where two guys go around bouncing their heads in clubs. Howard said that he thinks the movie trailers look pretty funny. He didn't think it was a good idea to make the movie but now that he's seen the funny parts he may have changed his mind. As soon as Richard came in Howard noticed how good looking the guy is. He spent half of the interview just telling Richard how jealous he was of his looks. He told him what he had to go through to get laid when he was a kid. Richard had no problem getting laid. He told Howard that he got laid at 17 by a 29 year old woman. Dee Snider was still hanging out so Howard asked Richard who was uglier, Dee or himself. Someone yelled out that it was a dead heat. Dee seemed to be just as jealous as Howard was of Richard's looks. Dee even told him that he hated him and he doesn't even know him. Richard is dating Yasmine Bleeth from the TV show ''Baywatch.'' The two of them broke up for a while and Richard went to rehab to get off of alcohol. He said it wasn't a problem, he just wanted to stop it before it became a problem. Howard mentioned that Richard also dated Christina Applegate and some other hot model chick. ''Night At The Roxbury'' starts in theaters tomorrow.
Tone Loc Comes In. 10/1/98. 8:45am
Rapper Tone Loc came in to plug some stuff this morning. You may remember Tone Loc from his hit song ''Funky Cold Medina'' from years ago. Tone also did a voice for a cartoon called ''C-Bear and Jamal'' which will be coming out on video in a few days. Dee Snider was still hanging out during this interview so he was throwing in a few comments here and there. Howard spoke to Tone about how his voice got to be so gravely. Tone thinks that it was after scalding his vocal chords with hot tea that he drank when he had a cold. Tone is engaged to a model and has 3 sons. The cartoon that he does the voices for was on FOX for a year and a half but Tone thinks that they weren't doing it justice so they'll be on home video now. Tone had an interesting opinion on why a lot of black people say that they're part Indian. This came up during a discussion about how dark Tone's skin is. Tone thinks that black people who aren't very dark say that they're part indian so that they don't have to say that they're part white. He thinks they think they'll be accepted better if they're part indian instead of part white. Tone mentioned at one point that he spanks his kids maybe 3 times a year to discipline them. That got Robin all riled up. She doesn't believe in spanking so she started to lecture Tone about it. This is from a woman who doesn't have kids and has no idea what it's like to raise them. So anyway Tone will be signing copies of this ''C-Bear and Jamal'' tape at various stores around the country.
Howard Talks To Donny Simpson. 10/1/98. 10:00am
Donny Simpson is some black radio guy from Washington D.C. Howard knows him from when he used to work down there. Donny recently sent Howard an invitation to his 25th wedding anniversary party. Howard ended up getting Donny on the phone to ask him why he was going to renew his vows. It turns out that Donny isn't going to be renewing vows, it's just a party celebrating the marriage. Howard was talking to Donny and having a great time. Donny was cracking up laughing through most of the call. Then Howard figured out what the party was about. Donny may have taken a few years off from his marriage to sow his wild oats and now his wife is making him do this party to bring him back under control. Donny just laughed uncontrollably the whole time. Howard said Donny must have had time off for good behavior and now he's paying for it. Howard said something about Donny being the number one morning man down in D.C. or something like that.
-- Wednesday September 30, 1998 --
The Best Of Stern. 9/30/98.
Today is a Jewish holiday so Howard's off. Here are today's featured Best Of bits:
- Gary calls in to announce the birth of his first child Jackson Steven Dell'Abate.
- Howard plays tape of Stuttering John interviewing Cindy Crawford.
- Howard talks about a phony phone call made after the Long Island Rail Road shooting.
- Ted Nugent argues with a woman from P.E.T.A. about killing animals.
- Jamie Lee Curtis calls in to promote her movie ''Blue Steel.''
- Jamie Lee Curtis calls in a few more times on her way to other shows.
- Young MC calls in to tell Howard about how hot Jamie Lee's breasts are.
- Jamie Lee calls in once again and hooks up with Young MC.
- Jessica Hahn calls in after Young MC talks to Jamie Lee Curtis.
Howard & Regis Update. 9/30/98.
On Tuesday Howard mentioned that he was invited up to Regis Philbin's apartment. He didn't get into the details of how he ran into him but a bunch of people e-mailed me and told me how it happened. Howard recently bought a $5.4 Million condo in New York City and it just happens to be in the same building as Regis lives in. They ran into each other in the elevator. Thanks to Matt and all of the other people who filled me in on the story.
-- Tuesday September 29, 1998 --
Melissa The Intern Interviews Stephanie Seymour. 9/29/98. 6:30am
Melissa the intern interviewed Jamie Lee Curtis the other day so Howard replayed that tape before getting to the new interview. After that Howard played the tape of the Stephanie Seymour interview. The audio was bad because they had to use a boom microphone to get Stephanie's answers. Melissa asked a couple of soft ball questions then asked ''Could you say something really profound to prove that models aren't dumb?'' That pissed Stephanie off and she didn't answer any more questions.
Dan Attempts 5 Minute Fart Record. 9/29/98. 7:00am
This guy was bumped from yesterday's show because they ran out of time. Maybe it was a good thing because this guy did an amazing job this morning. Dan says that he can make better sounding farts with a toilet. Well, he got his wish and a fake toilet was created for him. It sounded like they had a toilet seat on top of a chair with the bottom taken out of it. They took the bottom out to get better sound to the microphone. Dan started off right away and was making some nasty sounding farts. Within a short time Doug from E! dropped his counter button and ran away from Dan. It turned out that Dan had an accident and shit on the floor! It didn't stop him though. He just kept farting while everyone else just laughed and gagged. Eventually Doug from E! got the counter back and started the count again. After it was all done a guy called in and said that he had an accurate count of 256. For some reason Benjy the intern came walking into the studio and stepped in the shit that was still on the floor! More gagging followed.. Howard had to take a commercial break. After the break Howard came back with the official count of 206. He also said that it was really funny how the crap got cleaned up. They were using cardboard and stuff like that to clean it. General Manager Tom Chiusano said that he wanted that ''toilet'' banned from the show. Howard said it was just a one time accident so it's staying. The microphone that was under the toilet was ruined because the just had a piece of tissue covering it up. There was an 11 year old kid waiting in the wings to attempt the record but he was puking in the bathroom because he was so nervous. Fran Drescher showed up so he was off the hook for a while. To see the other record attempts just click here to see the Fart record chart.
Howard Hangs With Regis? 9/29/98. 7:35am
Howard made a real quick mention of a recent run in he had with Regis Philbin. He was in an elevator somewhere with Regis. He asked Regis if he was going to punch him but Regis said ''No, come on up to my apartment..'' Howard went up and hung out with him for a little while. That's about all Howard said about it. Maybe some day he'll go into more detail.
Fran Drescher Comes In. 9/29/98. 7:40am
Actress Fran Drescher came in to promote the season premiere of her show ''The Nanny'' which airs tomorrow night on CBS. Howard only spent 20 minutes with Fran which was just about the right amount of time. I can only stand her annoying laugh and voice for so long. They spent a little time talking about Fran's husband and how they're working together on ''The Nanny'' even though they've been separated for quite a while. They're trying to work things out but Fran is still dating other guys. Howard pointed out that she still has nice tight breasts even though she's getting up there in age. Howard had better things to get to so the interview was nice and short.
Howard Talks To Some Interns. 9/29/98. 8:30am
Howard brought in Janine the intern who recently did an interview with the prick Chris Tucker from the movie ''Rush Hour.'' He replayed the tape and did a ''Meet The Interns'' type thing with her and Siobhan. Janine seems to be a high strung go-getter and Siobhan is a laid back quiet type. Janine told Howard about some of the wacky things her mother has done. Her mom is a very religious Catholic so she doesn't like to hear Howard's show. She actually kicked Janine's sister out of the house because she refused to turn down the radio in the morning while she listened to Howard. Janine actually avoided telling her mom that she was an intern for the show for a while. Eventually she found out and wasn't too upset. Then Howard found out that Janine was once a stripper when she was 17 years old! Her mother made her quit but didn't kick her out of the house. Janine even told Gary that if they ever give away breast implants that she'd like to be considered. She had all kinds of interesting stories. She dated one of the ''New Kids On The Block'' when she was 13. She got laid at 15 by that guy. Janine stuck around to sing a song for Alan Thicke also..
Alan Thicke/11 Year Old Farter. 9/29/98. 8:40am
Actor Alan Thicke came in to promote the fact that he'll be in the play ''Chicago'' in New York for a special engagement of a month. That will be taking place at the Shubert Theater. As he came in the interns sang him the theme to his old show ''Growing Pains.'' He was impressed but Howard moved on. Howard spoke with Alan about a story he read in the National Enquirer. Alan confirmed the story and explained it. His mother has had a problem with alcoholism for about 20 years. She's been evicted from apartments because of these problems. Alan said that he's gotten her into a new home. Ahhh.. who cares.
This 11 year old kid Matt had been waiting in the wings for the whole morning. He was going to attempt the 5 minute fart record but ended up puking from being so nervous. Well Howard finally brought him in to go for it. His uncle, mother and father were there with him to cheer him on. Matt was ready to break Dan's new record from earlier in the morning. Matt lies on his back and is able to suck air in through his ass and blow it out as a fart. Howard had him begin while Alan Thicke was still sitting there. Matt began and was ''like a machine'' according to Howard. He just kept the farting up continuously for the full 5 minutes. Howard and Alan were doing some commentary during the 5 minutes. By the end of it Howard said that he was up to 217 farts. Then it went down to an official 211. After it was all done someone from E! came in and said the counter was malfunctioning. They said that the counter may have been counting 3 to 5 at a time instead of 1. Howard didn't care, he said that the record stands at 211. Howard told Matt that he should cherish this gift he has. Congratulations to Matt for this unbelievable feat.
Howard Receives Nudes Of Dr. Laura Schleshinger. 9/29/98.
During Alan Thicke's interview Howard brought up some pictures that he got from some guy claiming to be Dr. Laura Schleshinger's ex-boyfriend. He sent about 15 nude photos of someone he claims is Dr. Laura. The guy wants to sell the pics to whoever will buy them. After Howard took a commercial break he said that a bunch of people had called wanting the photos. Even Penthouse Magazine called and said they want them. Howard hates Dr. Laura because she used his name in a press release a few months ago. She claimed that she turned down a TV show on CBS because Howard was going to be on there.
-- Monday September 28, 1998 --
Howard's Flabby Stomach Problems. 9/28/98. 6:20am
Howard spent the first hour of the show complaining about his flabby stomach which he showed on his appearance with David Letterman last week. He can't figure out why if he's running 30 miles a week he still has a roll of fat on his stomach. He ended up taking a bunch of phone calls from people who gave him some advice. People suggested everything from Yoga to just doing more stomach crunches and eating differently. Howard said he's thinking about getting liposuction. Dr. Sal Calabro called in and said that he could have Howard's stomach flat in no time. Dr. Calabro is the guy who gave the grand prize in the recent Frankenstein contest. He said that he just did the work on the winner last week. He said that she'd be ready to show off her new self in about 3 weeks or so.
Courtney Love Comes In. 9/28/98. 7:05am
Singer/Actress Courtney Love, of Hole, came in to promote her bands new album ''Celebrity Skin.'' As Gary was bringing Courtney into the studio she asked where the bathroom was. Gary pointed it out but she was right next to the mens room so she said that she'd just go in there instead. As she went in Tom Chiusano was coming out. Tom found it pretty funny. One of the interns was at the urinal and said that Courtney may have seen his penis. A minute later Courtney came in. She didn't say much about the bathroom incident since she had so many other things to talk about. Courtney was all over the place with her stories too. She was talking about dating Ed Norton and about Twiggy from Marilyn Manson's band. She dated him at one time also. Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins also came up. When Billy was on a few months ago he was complaining about not getting credit for helping out on Hole's new album. Courtney explained that Billy only spent 12 days working on the album and although he did contribute to the thing he didn't produce the album. Courtney also spoke about Marilyn Manson and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. She went over some things that happened in her childhood and it sounded pretty scary. Her father used to give her acid when she was 4 years old! Her mother was married 4 times and courtney lived in a shed at one point in her life. Courtney also mentioned that Drew Barrymore is one of her best friends and is the god mother of her daughter Francis Bean. Courtney is also working on the new Jim Carrey movie about the life of Andy Kauffman. Last week there was an incident where Jim Carrey injured his neck during the remake of a wrestling scene. Howard asked Courtney if it was faked. After Courtney went through a couple of other stories and explained what had happened on the set of the movie Howard concluded that the whole thing may have been done as a goof. Howard played Hole's first single off the new album and Courtney pointed out which riffs were Billy Corgan's. A few minutes later Gary came in to give Courtney some good news that she didn't know about. Her people told him that the Hole album is number 1 on the alternative charts. She was thankful but said she'd hoped to be number one on the Billboard charts. Courtney continued to talk to Howard for a really long time. Courtney says that her first orgasm came from another girl. So she has had some lesbian experiences in her life. After an hour worth of interviewing Howard said he had to take a break. Courtney begged to stay because she was having such a good time. After the break she came back for a little while longer. Howard played the next single, ''Malibu'', off the Hole album. Howard and Courtney kissed before she left.
Rich From Mycoscience Gives Results Of Bacteria Tests. 9/28/98. 9:05amThis guy Rich from a company called Mycoscience came in to give results of some bacteria tests he did recently. Rich came in and took swabs of furniture and other surfaces in the studio to see what kind of crap is growing in the studio. He only found one unusual thing in the studio. That was an unknown spore producing bacteria found on the Real Doll. Rich said he'd never seen that bacteria before. Everything else in the studio wasn't out of the ordinary. He had taken swabs from such things as Howard's board, Howard's chair, Jackie's chair, Gary's teeth and stuff like that. He said that Gary had strep bacteria on his teeth but that wasn't unusual. He also took a swab from Benjy the intern's pants. Rich said he found ''tons of bacteria'' on those pants. The swab of Howard's bathroom door handle came back pretty clean. That's because Howard is the only one who uses it. Ther wasn't any fecal matter found in the studio. Howard recently heard that fecal matter can be found on chairs from people farting but that didn't happen here. Howard asked Rich to rate his findings on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being the cleanest and 10 being the filthiest. Rich gave them a 4. He said it would be a good idea to do some cleaning in the studio but overall they weren't in bad shape. The only people who would have to worry are people with weak immune systems. If you'd like more information on Mycoscience just head over to www.medmarket.com.
Fred's Wife Alison Has A New Career. 9/28/98. 10:05am
Howard brought up an interesting story late in the show today. It seems that Fred's wife Alison has taken up a new career. Howard got an e-mail from someone telling him about Fred's wife. Howard got the impression that she was a fashion designer but Fred straightened him out by telling him that she has opened her own clothing store. Then Howard though that it was new clothing and wondered how she got the money to open the store. Then Fred said that it's used clothing that she sells. I believe he said that it's used designer clothing that she gets from her friends. Howard wondered if Alison will give up acting. Fred said that he's not sure about that but Alison realized that she needed to make money so she started her own business. The store is called Sunrise Ruby and I think they said it's in Tribecca wherever the hell that is. As usual Fred didn't bring this interesting story up himself. He keeps everything to himself like when he legally changed his name to Eric Fred Norris back in 1994. He didn't tell Howard for 3 years.