Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 5/18/98 to 5/22/98

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-- Friday May 22, 1998 --
• The Gossip Game With Marty The Midget. 5/22/98. 7:00am
  Marty The Midget came in to play the Mike Walker game today. Marty is starring in The Wizard Of Oz play with Mickey Rooney and Ertha Kitt. Marty plays a munchkin and the leader of the flying monkeys in the play. The play is getting ready to do a 16 city tour next month. The first thing Marty brought up when he came in was that he wants to fight Hank the dwarf. He doesn't like Hank's lifestyle and wants to beat the crap out of him. Howard put Hank on the phone to see if he's willing to fight. Hank was sober this morning claiming that he didn't drink because of an upset stomach. Hank didn't really care about fighting with Marty. He just wants to do what he wants to in his life. Marty should just leave him alone. Marty works out, he'd kill Hank if they fought. After talking with Hank Howard and Marty talked about Marty's kid and his break-up with the mother of his child. Anyone care about that?.. didn't think so.

  Mike Walker never called in today for some reason. He's missing in action so Stuttering John took over and called in from the office. John had 4 gossip stories from various tabloid magazines. One of the stories was made up by John and Benjy the intern. Here are the 4 stories, try to pick the false one.

  1. Ellen Degeneres and her girlfriend Ann Hache were out shopping for wedding outfits. Ann was looking at bride's dresses and Ellen was looking at groom pants and jackets.
  2. Cher is writing songs psychically with her dead ex-husband Sonny Bono. They just wrote ''It's Never Too Late'' together.
  3. Vivica A Foxx almost sliced a camera man with glass when she threw a plate glass window while filming something.
  4. Roseanne asked for her deposit back on a home she was going to buy when a psychic told her the house was haunted.
  Marty, Fred, Jackie and Robin all chose number 2 as the false story. Howard chose number 3 after almost picking number 4. The actual false story was number 2. Howard was the only loser this week.

  After the game Howard and Marty were talking about stuff and the subject of bowling came up. Howard wondered if Marty could even hold a bowling ball with his tiny, short fingers. That led to a challenge from Marty. Howard and Marty were going to bowl against each other to see who was better. Gary said that he'd easily take a bet on Marty winning. Howard never bowls and Marty said he's only played about 1 time in 5 years. That discussion led to more challenges and finally ended up as a triathalon including a 2 mile run, bowling and a basketball game. All of that may happen sometime next week. My only worry is that if Howard loses any one of those things he'll complain about it for a week afterward.

• Daniel Carver Movie Reviews. 5/22/98. 8:15am
  Super-racist Daniel Carver called in to give three new movie reviews today. He rated Yentl, Driving Miss Daisy and In and Out. Daniel rates movies on a scale of up to 5 burning crosses with 5 being best. Here's how he rated these three movies:
  • Yentl - 0 Burning Crosses
  • Driving Miss Daisy - 2 Burning Crosses
  • In and Out - 0 Burning Crosses
  Daniel said that Yentl was the worst of the three. It was a musical and Daniel didn't understand the horrible music. Howard thought he'd have an opinion on the whole Jewish theme of the movie but he didn't. Daniel said that Driving Miss Daisy was the best of the three but it still only managed a 2 rating. He said that the movie had a plot that he could follow. Daniel said that In and Out was only a little bit better than Yentl. He said it's a movie to make people think that being gay is a normal thing. Daniel doesn't believe that's true so he gave it the 0 rating. If you've missed Daniel's previous reviews you can see them all on my Daniel Carver Movie Review Summary page. After the movie reviews Howard took a bunch of phone calls for Daniel. There were a bunch of people pissed off at Daniel. Surprisingly there were a bunch of people who called in to agree with Daniel's way of thinking. Crackhead Bob called in but not to talk about Daniel. Actually, no one could figure out what the hell Bob wanted to say.

• Suzanne Somers Calls In. 5/22/98. 8:50am
  Actress Suzanne Somers was on the phone for a couple of reasons. Howard wanted to talk to her because she got to go to the Frank Sinatra funeral. Suzanne made the news because she showed up 20 minutes late to the funeral. She claims that she got stuck in traffic while attempting to get there. Howard thought that maybe she did it to get attention for herself. Suzanne said that she knew Frank from Las Vegas and that she used to hang out with him and Sammy Davis Jr. She said that Frank was always a nice guy and she never saw a bad side to him. Howard thinks he was just acting nice toward her because she was a hot piece of ass. Suzanne was also promoting her new book called After the Fall : How I Picked Myself Up, Dusted Myself Off and Started All over Again. Howard mentioned a couple of interesting stories featured in the book. The most interesting one was about how Suzanne fell in love with an elephant! She was working in Vegas and there was this elephant in the dressing room next to her. She and the elephant somehow created a bond between the two of them. She used to ride the elephant like 2 times a day for 6 years. Eventually the elephant was sold to a Puerto Rican circus. Suzanne told Howard that she'd like to find the elephant and bring her to California. Sounds kind of wacky to me. There's also something in the book about Suzanne's husband having a relationship with a goose. I think I may get this book myself! Suzanne is now working with Candid Camera on CBS. She looks great for a 50 year old woman.

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  -- Thursday May 21, 1998 --

• Penis Fart Phil And His Sister Maggie. 5/21/98. 7:25am
  This guy Phil called in recently and told Howard that he's able to make a fart sound come out of his penis. He demonstrated it on the phone and it sounded like a fart. At the time Howard thought the guy could be a fake. The guy showed up today with his sister Maggie. Before Phil came into the studio he had to demonstrate his talent for Gary. He proved that he could do it and even pulled down his pants to show Gary. He said that he's usually able to fart on command but when he wasn't able to perform his sister did it instead! Howard then had the two of them in the studio to see for himself. Maggie is 18 years old and very cute according to Howard. Howard was asking Phil how he discovered this talent of his. Phil said that he was experimenting in the bath tub one day and found out he could fart with his penis if he blew air in there. The discussion somehow turned to Maggie and whether or not she had ever ''explored'' herself while taking a bath or shower. She said that she never has! She went to Catholic school and that may have contributed to her unwillingness to touch herself sexually. She's still a virgin although she claims that she's been kissed and felt up. After a little bit of time discussing Maggie's inhibitions Phil finally got to demonstrate his penis fart for Howard. He took some kind of suction cup device and blew air into his penis. The first time it just came out as a tiny squeak. After a couple of tries he finally came out with a good fart sound. Ahh.. The many talents of Stern fans. Before they left Maggie got to demonstrate her fart-on-command talent. Phil taught her how to somehow suck air in through her ass and let it out as a fart. She was able to squeak out a couple of tiny ones. Phil plugged his Reptile Saltwater Designs business and gave out this number if you want to contact him: 215-207-9832.

• Swedish Broadcasters Visit New York To Hear Howard. 5/21/98. 8:10am
  Two Swedish broadcasters, Peter and Ingmar, came in to meet Howard today. The two of them are in town for a couple of days just to hear Howard's show live on the air. They say that they've read Howard's books and have seen his movie. They do a radio show in Sweden called the Radio City Morning Crew. When Howard asked if they imitate him on their show one guy said that they only take the best parts of his act. The guy said that they do phony phone calls and stuff like that. To liven things up Howard said that he had Les Moonves, the head of CBS tv's programming, coming in. It turned out to be the guy who plays Wood Yi, Steve The Engineer. He would ask Peter and Ingmar questions like:
  • Which one of your grandfather's killed Anne Frank?
  • Will you please take Ann Margaret back to Sweden?
  • Is it true that women smell like smoked eel in Sweden?
  • Besides meatballs, what else has Sweden invented?
  It's Steve's delivery that makes the questions funnier than they actually are. This went on during most of the interview. Howard and the guys talked about their jobs over in Sweden and crap like that. The guys only make about $30,000 a year doing what they do. Before they left ''Les Moonves'' asked the guys ''Can I have a kiss?'' and one of them got up and kissed him.

• Drew Carey Comes In. 5/21/98. 8:45am
  Actor/comedian Drew Carey came in just to hang out with Howard. He said that he enjoyed his last appearance so much that he decided to come back. He said that he took Howard's advice from the last visit and is now enjoying his fame. Robin saw Drew at the Godzilla movie premiere on Monday and said that it looked like he had a new look. His hair was a platinum color and he had a goatee. He also wasn't wearing his signature black thick rimmed glasses. It turns out that it was a disguise he was trying out so he could go out in public without being surrounded by fans. It worked for him. He said he spent 8 hours in the Mall Of America and didn't get bothered once. He said that it was too normal. He went to a Hooters restaurant and had to wait to get served just like average people do. Drew had a couple of people with him today. Kate Walsh, who played his girlfriend on the show for a while, and Sam Simon. Sam is one of the producers behind The Simpsons cartoon. Howard had both of them come in to the studio also. Sam Simon has tons of money from The Simpsons so he said he only works about 3 days a month! He also works on The Drew Carey Show maybe one day a week according to Drew. Sam is only 43 years old and he's pretty much set for life. Howard asked what Sam does on an average day. Sam said that he wakes up, listens to Howard all morning then walks his dogs. That's it! What a life! Howard spent some time talking to Drew about who he likes to date. He seems to like strippers and porn stars. Howard took a few phone calls from women who said they're in love with Drew. They all wanted to meet him but that ain't gonna happen. Drew also talked about how he got his start as a comedian. He was writing jokes for a friend of his who was on the radio. He was trying some of his jokes out at amateur night in some clubs. He got his big break when he was on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Carson let Drew sit on the couch, which was a big deal at the time, and the next day Drew said he was officially in show business. He had agents coming after him the night after that Tonight Show appearance. Now he has one of the highest rated shows on ABC.

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  -- Wednesday May 20, 1998 --

• Reverend Fred Phelps Talks About Homosexuals. 5/20/98. 6:25am
  I think Howard had this Reverend on because his web site is called www.GodHatesFags.com. Reverend Phelps preaches against homosexuals and he'll be protesting at the Frank Sinatra funeral today. He says that Frank helped turn Big Bird into a fag. Yes, Big Bird! Phelps thinks that Sesame Street allows homosexuals on the show to tell children that the gay lifestyle is okay. Phelps doesn't believe they should do that and thinks that Frank Sinatra had something to do with that. He didn't make it clear as to how that happened though. He and his followers are flying out to Sinatra's funeral to hold up picket signs about Frank. Howard let a woman caller yell at the Reverend but he hung up on her. He called back shortly after but once Howard got on a subject he didn't like he hung up again. He's not willing to listen to reason. Howard heard that Phelps doesn't like him but didn't get around to asking him about that.

• Porno Star Jasmine St. Claire Comes In. 5/20/98. 7:30am
  Jasmine St. Claire, best known for her ''World's Biggest Gang Bang'' video, came in to announce that she's getting out of the gang banging. She had the record for screwing the most guys in a certain amount of time. I believe it was over 300 guys that she screwed. She said that in her last gang bang movie ''Planet Jasmine, The Final Gang Bang'' she screws about 50 guys. That movie should be out soon. She said she'll still do porno but no more gang bangs and no girl-girl stuff either. Howard let a couple of callers ask Jasmine questions but the first guy was just complaining about her. She whines to much according to the guy. He said he has to turn the sound down when he watches her movies. A female caller said that she'd love to have sex with Jasmine. Jasmine's not in to that though. Howard was asking Jasmine how much money she can make off of these movies. It turns out that she's not making that much. She said she can get about $5,000 per film. That's not much and there are some people who say women like Jenna Jameson can make up to $100,000 per movie. Jasmine says she makes a lot of money dancing at strip clubs. She claims she can make $15,000 a week doing that. Jasmine's current boyfriend Earl Slate also came in for a short time. He and Jasmine met during a film and are now dating. He explained how he got started in the porn business by doing a gay movie. He screwed a transsexual in that first movie. He said he doesn't do that stuff anymore.

• Gena Lee Nolin Comes In. 5/20/98. 8:05am
  Actress Gena Lee Nolin from ''Baywatch'' came in to announce that she's giving away Levi's Jeans today at some Levi's store in New York City. Gena is a Levi's spokesperson and they're giving away 5000 pair of Levi's to people with Jean-like names. Anyone who has a name with ''jean'' in it like Gina, Eugene etc. will get a free pair. She said that you can visit the Levi's website to find out more. One of the first things Gena noticed when she came in was the Rosie O'Donnell head full of jelly beans. Howard told her to guess how many were in the head. Gena guessed 2500. As usual Gary announced that the number was incorrect. He said that no one has come close to getting the correct number yet. Gena survived the recent firings at the ''Baywatch'' show. A bunch of the female cast members were fired for some reason but since Gena's character is married to David Hasslehoff's character on the show she's staying put. Some of the cast members who are off the show include Tracy Bingham, Marlece Andrada, Donna D'Erico and Carmen Electra. According to Gena some of the women weren't fired, they just moved on to new things. Howard found out that Gena is probably making over $50,000 for endorsing Levi's and may be making over $100,000 for endorsing Swatch watches! He also found out that she hardly ever wears a bra or panties. Even when she wears short mini-skirts she goes panty free. She also runs around the house naked all the time. She's married to her second husband and has one child. Her first marriage lasted only 18 days before her husband mysteriously ran off. Howard couldn't comprehend someone leaving someone so gorgeous for no reason. Before Gena left Howard took a couple of phone calls. There weren't any good callers for Gena but one woman said that she'd like to come down to the studio and have a man and a woman perform oral sex on her. She wants to be blindfolded so she can see if she can tell the difference. Howard invited her down so we'll see what happens with that, hopefully tomorrow.

• Fran Baskerville, The Singing Psychic, Calls In. 5/20/98. 8:40am
  The always wacky Singing Psychic called in to give Howard a few predictions. For those of you who've never heard Fran Baskerville, she sounds kind of like the tiny woman from the Poltergeist movies. She sings her predictions while she strums along on her guitar. She always ends the little prediction with ''yeah, yeah, yeah''. It's really bizarre. Today she claimed that she's spoken to Frank Sinatra up in heaven. She sang that Frank told her that he's happy up there ''hey, hey, oh yeah''. She also predicts that the New York Yankees will win their next game. She also sang about President Clinton getting into more trouble and something about Dallas winning the Stanley Cup. Her final prediction was that Howard will do very well with his new CBS show and that there will be a lot of new people on the show.. yeah, yeah, yeah..

• Celebrity Knowledge Game. 5/20/98. 8:45am
  This game is always fun. Sometimes it's a homeless person, sometimes it's a stripper. Today it was two celebrities getting an I.Q. Test from Gary Garver. Garver does interviews for Howard out in California. He got interviews with singer/actor/director Brett Michaels former lead singer for Poison. He also got an interview with actress Tanya Roberts who used to be on the ''Charlie's Angels'' tv show. Howard, Robin, Jackie, Fred and Stuttering John were wagering on whether or not the celebrity would get the answer correct. Here are Brett's questions and answers:

  Question	Brett's Answer	Correct?
  How many pencils are in a gross?	I could say 24, 12 or 124	N
  What is the state capital of New York?	Albany	Y
  Who was the Soviet leader during World War II?	No idea	N
  What planet has rings around it?	Saturn	Y
  Who was the inventor of the Polio vaccine?	No idea	N
  Who was the oldest signer of the declaration of independence?	Ben Franklin	Y
  Who wrote ''The Ugly Duckling?''	No idea	N

  So Brett wasn't quite as dumb as a wall. Next up was Tanya Roberts.

  Question	Tanya's Answer	Correct?
  Stalin was from what country?	Russia	Y
  How many great lakes are there?	Four	N
  What happened on December 7, 1941?	Pearl Harbor	Y
  Who wrote Tom Sawyer?	Mark Twain	Y
  Who said ''Give me liberty or give me death''?	uh, John, uh, Adams?	N
  What did Jonas Salk invent?	Penicillin.. no he did the Polio thing	Y
  How many U.S. Senators are elected from each state?	It depends on each state	N

  After the betting on this game Howard was down a few bucks so they had one of the new interns come in to play a couple of questions. The intern was Lisa. Lisa got 1380 on her S.A.T.'s so she's very intelligent. Her first question was ''How many planets are there?''. She answered that one correctly with ''Nine''. The final question for lisa was ''What is the capital of California?''. Lisa drew a blank with that one so Howard won back some of his money. He was only down by about $120.

• What Happened To Jackie's $100,000 Girl? 5/20/98. 9:40am
  During yesterday's show a woman called in and offered Jackie $100,000 if she could sleep with him. She was supposed to come down to the studio with the check to meet Jackie. Today Howard mentioned that when Gary tried to call the woman back there was no answer. It looks like she was a phony. Big surprise there huh?

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  -- Tuesday May 19, 1998 --

• Author Marshall Fine Calls In. 5/19/98. 7:10am
  This guy Marshall Fine, a journalist who's given Howard favorable reviews, called in to plug his new book Harvey Keitel : The Art of Darkness, the Unauthorized Biography. He spent a few minutes on the phone talking about how strange a guy Harvey Keitel really is. He said that Keitel uses his bottled up anger to play the bizarre parts he plays in movies. Obviously Keitel didn't take part in the writing of the book but Marshall said he found plenty of people who were willing to talk.

• New Jersey Governor Christie Whitman Calls In. 5/19/98. 7:30am
  One of Howard's favorite Governors called in this morning. Governor Christie Whitman called in to talk about a couple of things that are happening in New Jersey. They're raising the speed limit on some roads to 65 mph. That starts today and it's supposed to be an 18 month long study to see if it causes more deaths. If it does, they'll reduce the limit back to 55. She also signed some bill to reduce the auto insurance in Jersey by 15%. These were a couple of her campaign promises that she kept. Howard spoke with her for a little while about all of that and about the rumors that the New York Stock Exchange may move to New Jersey. Whitman said she'd welcome them to the state if they want to come over.

• Woman Offers $100,000 To Have Sex With Jackie! 5/19/98. 8:45am
  A woman going by the name Natasha called in and offered to give Jackie $100,000 to have sex with her. She says she's good looking and didn't end up saying it was all a joke so maybe she's serious. She claims that her uncle is rich so that's where she'd get the money. Howard got Jackie's wife Nancy on the phone to see if she would let Jackie do it. Nancy said that they don't need the money that bad but if Jackie wants to do it then she get's to do it with another guy. It's hard to tell if Nancy is serious or not. Natasha may come down tomorrow with the $100,000 check made out to Jackie. Check back tomorrow to see what happens.

• St. Louis Press Conference. 5/19/98. 9:15am
  Every press conference that Howard does for a new market is usually lame. Not because of Howard but because of the lame asses who are asking Howard questions. Well today wasn't much different. There were a few wacky things thrown into this one that made it a little more interesting. There were 8 people from newspapers in the St. Louis Missouri area. There were no television crews there at all. Howard has been on in this market for over a month now so there really wasn't a reason to do it in the first place. The first guy to ask Howard questions just yelled out a competing station's call letters. He kept yelling about Joe and John from 105.7 there in St. Louis. Howard let the guy do his thing and even plugged the competitors himself. He told listeners to go listen to Joe and John, throw up and then come back and listen to the original. Howard called the journalist an asswipe and told him to get lost. After that there were a couple of lame questions from a couple of half assed newspapers. Then Gary came in with a ''surprise'' guest. It was a young woman dying of cancer who loves the show. Actually, this was planned. This woman had tried coming in a couple of weeks ago but was turned away. When she called in to tell Howard that she was turned away Howard told her that it would be great if she came down in the middle of the press conference. That would make Howard look like a good guy and maybe get him some good press in St. Louis. I don't know if that's what will happen but it sure made the press conference more interesting. The woman, Kelly, and her friend Michelle were drunk when they came in. Kelly claims that she has about 5 months to live. She's dying of brain cancer. Howard spent a little while talking to her about her illness and how she's trying to enjoy the rest of her short life. She's been banging guys and getting drunk a lot to ease the pain. The press conference went on a little longer but it was too dull to remember. Before Kelly left Howard wanted to see if he could heal her. He put his hands on her head and tried to drive the cancer out. We'll see what happens. Kelly is moving to New York City from Pennsylvania and she may make an appearance on Howard's new CBS show on her death bed.

• David Wells Drops In. 5/19/98. 10:10am
  New York Yankees pitcher David Wells dropped in late in the show today. David had called in earlier this morning to talk about what he's been doing since throwing a perfect game on Sunday. Yesterday Howard was hoping that David would call in. Well it turns out that David did call in yesterday but one of the new interns kind of blew him off and told him to call the national 800 number that listeners call. Needless to say he never got through. He did the Letterman show last night and said it was great. Robin ran into him at the premiere of ''Godzilla'' last night and found out what had happened with the phone call yesterday. When he called in earlier in the show he mentioned that he was going on the Regis and Kathy Lee show. He said he's mention Howard. When he showed up at Howard's show this morning he said he didn't get the chance to mention Howard's name. He also asked Howard why he hates Kathy Lee so much. David said she's a really nice person. Howard pointed out that she's a phony and that's why he doesn't like her. David brought his gorgeous girlfriend Nina with him. Howard was just about drooling over her. She's 6' tall and weighs only 123 pounds. David hung out for a while and Howard took a few phone calls. People love this guy as a guest. Howard mentioned that David isn't getting many endorsement offers because of his ''bad boy'' image. David doesn't really mind. He's done more than he ever thought he would in his career. From what some people are saying, David's autograph value went from $12 to $300 after that game. Amazing..

• Howard Watches ''Banned From Television'' Tape. 5/19/98. 10:45am
  Late in the show Howard was talking about this tape that he was watching during a commercial break. It had video of a woman being hit by a train. He found the tape fascinating and thought it was interesting how the woman's body kind of exploded when it was clipped by the fast moving train. There's also some nudity and animals killing people on the tape. It sounded like Howard wanted to watch more of the tape but he was out of time. Howard didn't mention how to get the tape but an alert fan, Joner, forwarded the info to me. Just head over to www.bannedfromtv.com to find out how to order the tape.

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  -- Monday May 18, 1998 --

• Pitcher David Wells Throws A Perfect Game. 5/18/98. 6:05am
  Last Friday New York Yankees pitcher David Wells made an appearance on Howard's show. On Sunday David threw a perfect game. This is a very rare occurrence in baseball. It's only like the 13th time it's happened in baseball history. Howard was making a big deal out of it by playing clips of Wells' interview from Friday. Howard was trying to get Wells on the phone but it didn't happen today.

• Author Miriam Williams Calls In. 5/18/98. 7:40am
  This woman wrote Heaven's Harlots : My Fifteen Years As a Sacred Prostitute in the Children of God. It's about how she was lured into a cult when she was a young woman. She told Howard about how it happened. She was visiting New York when she was brought into this ''commune''. There were about 300 people in this cult but the men and women were separated. When she first joined the cult, Children Of God, it was a christian thing. After a while it turned into a big family of people who had sex with each other. After years of brainwashing these people they were sent out to bring more people in by telling them about the love that was going on. Eventually some of the women were turned into prostitutes. Howard said that the story sounded pretty interesting and he'd think about making it into a movie. Miriam has 5 children because they weren't allowed to use birth control. All 5 are by different men. She also has a web site that you can check out at www.excognet.com. Miriam said she wrote the book to warn people about these cults. They can be very dangerous and can mess up a lot of lives. She also said that Jews are the best in bed. She slept with quite a few people and found Jewish men to be very sensitive. Howard was checking out some of the pictures of Miriam in the book and said she's pretty cute. You can order the book or find out more about it by clicking on the highlighted title above.

• The Crackhead Bob Game. 5/18/98. 8:20am
  Here's another game Howard and the gang came up with. They have Crackhead Bob saying everyday sayings like ''That's all she wrote''. Of course Bob is very hard to understand most of the time so you really have to concentrate on what he's saying. Howard has people call in and try to guess what Bob is saying. Some of the sayings were really hard to understand. Like when Bob said ''That's all she wrote'' it sounded like ''Doubs dawl de dwote''. Here are the lines he said:
  • That's all she wrote
  • It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings
  • The whole nine yards
  • Beam me up Scotty
  • What you talkin' about Willis?
  • Going, going, gone
  • It's party time
  • Awesome, totally Awesome
  • Quoth the raven nevermore
  • No way Jose
  Just add the letter D to most of those lines and you'll get the idea of what Bob sounded like. Howard had about 10 different callers play the game. The winners got a CD 6-pack and the losers had to take Jackie's Jackie 'the Joke Man' Martling's Disgustingly Dirty Joke Book. Most people didn't want to take it but Howard forced them to.

• Gary Garver Interviews. 5/18/98. 8:40am
  Gary Garver was out at some golf tournament in California. He got interviews with Jack Nicholson, Robert Stack, Brian Austin Green, Chad Everett and Richard Dreyfus. Jack Nicholson was up first. Gary asked him if he ever used Viagra. Nicholson said he'd never heard of it. That was all Garver could get out before Jack walked away. Robert Stack was a better interview. Stack hung around and answered questions like:
  • What was the last book you read?
  • How will your life change now that Seinfeld is gone?
  • What message would you have for O.J. Simpson..?
  • How would you solve racial tensions?
  • Have you tried Viagra?
  • Have you ever been attracted to another man?
  • If you lost a bet and had to sleep with either Oprah Winfrey or Rosie O'Donnell who would it be?
  • Is Giff still cheating on Kathie Lee?
  Stack was a good sport until the last question about Kathie Lee. After that he ran away.

  Next up was Brian Austin Green from Beverly Hills 90210. He was stumped by the question ''Should police chases be broadcast on tv?''. He really didn't know how to answer that simple question! Garver also asked him if it's time to forgive O.J. Simpson. Brian said ''yeah'' to that one. The last question for Brian was ''Have you ever pleasured yourself with a vacuum cleaner?''. Brian answered ''No, not with a vacuum cleaner..'' and that was that.

  Chad Everett was up next. He was really angry and wasn't in to answering the questions. Gary asked him if he'd work with Woody Allen and if it's time to forgive O.J. He got kind of pissy and eventually walked away.

  Richard Dreyfus was a little more fun. He got some of the same questions as above but when he found out that Gary was asking the questions for Howard he made a farting sound into the microphone and walked away. Howard took it as an insult but Jackie thought it was a compliment.

• Grandpa Al Lewis On The Phone. 5/18/98. 8:50am
  Howard had to talk to 88 year old Grandpa Al, best known for his role on ''The Munsters'' tv show, about a story he read recently. Grandpa claims that Charles Manson baby-sat for his children back in the 1960's. Grandpa told Howard that the story is true. He said that Manson approached him on Sunset Blvd. about pushing his songs to some record company or something like that. Grandpa said Manson only baby-sat about 2 or 3 times. It wasn't like a regular thing and Manson wasn't totally screwed up back then. Grandpa didn't really explain how it went from meeting the guy on the street to babysitting though. The whole story just wasn't there to be heard. Grandpa is also thinking about running for Governor of New York. Some political party called the Green Party may back him if he decides to run. He's not sure if he's going to run or not. Grandpa is an amazing guy. He's also a basketball scout. He finds talented basketball players in College and gets them into the professional end of it. Howard asked his opinion on the New York Knicks. Grandpa said that the Knicks are an ''old team'' and that their front office isn't that great. He said that if you're a Knicks fan you should switch over to the Nets instead because they're a ''young team''.

• Singer Of ''Butt Plug'', Ed Diamond, On The Phone. 5/18/98. 9:05am
  Howard heard this song called ''Butt Plug'' recently. He had the writer/singer of the song on the phone to talk about it. Ed Diamond, a 47 year old gay black man, is that person. His album ''God Is Gay'' is kind of like Rap music but bad Rap music. According to Ed, the ''Butt Plug'' song was inspired by an experience he had with a cute ''surfer boy'' he met one time. The surfer boy had this sex toy called a butt plug. Ed said he didn't enjoy the toy but he did enjoy the sex. Howard played a little bit of ''Butt Plug'' and a little bit of the title song ''God Is Gay''. Ed said he made this album for his gay friends, some of them have died from AIDS. You can find out more about this album at www.godisgay.com.

• Howard Meets The New Interns. 5/18/98. 9:50am
  Today starts the new semester for interns at K-Rock. Howard got to meet some of the hot new female interns. There were a few guys there too but Howard wasn't interested in that. Howard talked with Deborah, Kathy, Jodi, Lisa and Corey. According to Howard they're all good looking and may even be the best looking group yet. One of them, Lisa, was a Miss Teen USA! Howard doesn't have anything to do with picking the interns. The person who does pick the interns is a woman and she picks them for their qualifications, not for their looks.