Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 4/27/98 to 5/1/98

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-- Friday May 1, 1998 --
• Howard Watches Robin's Jeopardy Appearance From Last Night. 5/1/98. 6:35am
  Howard had the video tape of Robin's appearance on Celebrity Jeopardy from last night. He had watched some of it when a listener called in and said that he could beat Robin at the game. He said he'd put up $200 to play against her in the studio. Howard agreed and said they'd do the game next week. Well, that led to another listener calling in and making the same offer. Then bloated attorney Dominic Barbara called in and said he wants to play. He put of the offer of letting Howard weigh him if he loses. That knocked one of the listeners out of the game. Then Ralph called in and said that he could beat Robin. It sounded like he was going to play too but after a few minutes he was kicked out of the game. Then Gary said he wants to play against Robin. So next Tuesday there should be a Jeopardy game with Robin, Dominic Barbara and either Gary or that first listener who called in. Of course I'll be here to give you the story.

• The Mike Walker Game With Miss Nude Universe '96. 5/1/98. 7:20am
  Wow! Early time for the Mike Walker Gossip game. Miss Nude Universe 1996, McKenna Mills, came in to play the game. Howard got right to Mike Walker after McKenna came in. Mike gives 4 gossip stories, one of them is made up. Try to pick the fake story.
  1. Heather Locklear admitted that she and Tommy Lee made their own home sex video. Now she's afraid that there may be a copy floating around somewhere.
  2. A feud between Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson ended after Michael called to give his condolences after Linda McCartney died.
  3. A feud between Madonna and Sandra Bernhard almost ended but didn't when Madonna stole away some girlfriend of Sandra's.
  4. While in London Matt LeBlanc went to a strip club. One of the strippers kissed him while dancing and was later fired for touching a customer. Matt tried to get the stripper's job back but had no luck.
  McKenna and Howard both picked number 4 as the false story. Jackie and Robin picked number 3 and Fred chose number 2. The actual false story was number 1. Nobody got it correct this week, oh well.

  After the game Howard talked with McKenna for a while. She wrote a book called ''Stripped, The Toughest Dance Of All'' which is available through this number 1-888-677-5556. In the book she talks about her sister dying from breast cancer. She had skin cancer herself and had one of her breasts removed. She now has an implant in her left side. Howard was able to pick that out just by looking at them from across the room. They don't look bad but Howard was able to pick the correct one. It sounds like she's had a hell of a life. If you'd like to see what she looks like just click here. For more info about the book click here.

• The Stripper Game. 5/1/98. 8:30am
  The stripper game is just like the homeless game except it's a stripper being interviewed instead of a homeless person. Howard didn't want to play the full game today so he was going to play just 3 of the questions and answers. Obviously he couldn't resist playing more as you can see below. He played the first few but then said he was going to play just one more and let the answer hang over the weekend. Each question was too good to leave over the weekend so he just kept playing them. Everyone was betting on them as they went along too. Each answer was a bigger surprise than the next. This poor stripper just couldn't answer the questions. At one point Benjy the Intern came in to defend the stripper. He said that she really wasn't stupid. Gary said Benjy was blinded by her beauty. There are still more questions after these so Howard will probably play them on Monday.

  Question	Stripper Answer	Correct?
  What is paper made from?	Trees	Y
  Who was the first President of the USA?	Lincoln	N
  Use the word Plethora in a sentence.	Your plethora is located on the bottom right side of your..	N
  Who is the Vice President of the U.S.?	Perrot	N
  How much does a NY subway token cost?	Sixty five cents	N
  Name one borough in New York.	Brooklyn	Y
  What is a carnivore?	A warm blooded animal	N
  Where does pork come from?	Mushroom	N
  New York City is known as the big what?	Apple	Y
  How many dimes are in a dollar?	Ten	Y
  What vegetable are pickles made from?	Marinated from a grape	N
  How many members were in the Beatles?	Five	N
  What is the drinking age in NY?	Twenty one	Y
  How many cards are in a deck?	Fifty six	N
  Name the two most popular political parties in America.	Presidential Party and.. I don't know	N
  Name one food considered poultry.	Chicken	Y

• Author Of ''Mansion On The Hill'' Calls In. 5/1/98. 9:25am
  Fred Goodman, author of The Mansion on the Hill : Dylan, Young, Geffen, Springstein and the Head-On Collision of Rock and Commerce, called in to plug the book. He and Howard talked about some of the stories from the book. It covers stories about some Rock & Roll legends and the unusual deals that have gone on. One example he gave was about Bob Dylan. He got a hold of an Andy Warhol lithograph just for doing a screen test for something. Dylan later traded the lithograph for a leather couch. Years later the lithograph was auctioned off for millions of dollars. That was just one of the unusual stories he told. He had more about people like Neil Young, David Geffen and Bruce Springstein. The book was a best seller when it first came out in hardcover. Now it's been released as a paperback. Click on the title of the book to read more about it.

• Jerry Springer Calls In. 5/1/98. 10:00am
  After Robin read a story about how Jerry Springer is going to change his show around to appease some religious nuts, he called in to dispell those rumors. Howard asked Jerry about that story and Jerry said he knew nothing of it. It must have been the producers of the show who met with the religious nuts. He said that he's not going to change the show in any way. He's proud of it and he didn't have anything to do with meetings with any religious nuts. Howard told Jerry that if the producers of the show make him change it and he wants out of the show that he may be able to help. Howard said that he could get his own production company to put the show out just the way it is now. Jerry said that would be great. Howard could rake in the money if he did something like that.

• Kenneth Keith Kallenbach Calls In. 5/1/98. 10:10am
  Shortly after Howard got off the phone with Jerry Springer he got a call from Kenneth Keith Kallenbach. Kenneth once called in with his own Jerry Springer show story. Before the current stories about Jerry's show being phony came out Kenneth said that the producers of the show told him to make up some stories when he was on it. Kenneth said he has tape of them telling him to lie and also has tape of them yelling at him after he told Howard about it. Howard told him to bring the tape in so we can hear it. After all of that Kenneth said that he's going to be on the syndicated Real TV show. He'll be blowing smoke out of his eye and that episode is supposed to air on Thursday, May 14. Check your local listings for the channel and time of airing.

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  -- Thursday April 30, 1998 --

• Author Of ''Sing Out!: Gays And Lesbians In The Music World'' Calls In. 4/30/98.
  Howard talked with Boze Hadleigh, author of Sing Out! : Gays and Lesbians in the Music World, for a short time this morning. The book talks about mostly dead people who may have been gay. Boze mentioned such celebrities as Liberace and Paul Lynde. He also said that it's rumored that Ricky Nelson was bi-sexual and Agnes Morehead from Bewitched was a lesbian. There wasn't any good outting going on with this guy. I think most of the stuff in the book is about celebrities who were already outted. I think Howard was hoping that this guy would have some good gossip or something.

• New Makeover Contest Coming Up. 4/30/98. 7:30am
  Howard announced a new contest this morning. It's not completely set up yet but he gave it a mention. Dr. Sal Calabro has offered to do a makeover for one lucky Stern show listener. He's going to give one lucky woman breast implants, a nose job and liposuction to make her beautiful. Howard said he's calling it the Frankenstein Contest. He put the word out for any women who are okay looking but not great to call the show. If you're in need of implants and other assorted plastic surgery just call the show at 1-800-44-STERN(78376). Stay tuned for more info!

• Stormin Freyley Goes Door To Door For Sliwinski. 4/30/98. 7:50am
  On Tuesday Howard was pushing this guy Ted Sliwinski for judge in Cuyahoga County Ohio. Today Stormin Freyley, a comedian from Ohio, was going door to door asking people who they are going to vote for in the Democratic primaries next Tuesday. Stormin has been on the show in the past and makes a good correspondent. He went up to a couple of doors before getting an answer. The first woman said that she was voting for Judge McGinty but I think Howard may have changed her mind after talking to her. Stormin moved on to some other places and eventually ended up in some kind of store. There he asked the manager who he was voting for. He sounded like a Stern fan and said that he'd vote for Sliwinski. Howard moved on with the show after that but got back to Stormin later in the show. Stormin interviewed another couple of people and that was it for the day. F-McGinty, Vote Sliwinski!

• Steven Silverman From People Magazine Calls In. 4/30/98. 8:00am
  Howard spoke with Steven Silverman from People Magazine for about a minute this morning. Hank the Angry, Drunken Dwarf is number 1 on People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People poll on their web site. Howard found out that Hank will not be in the print magazine even though he blew away everyone else on the list. When I checked the list this morning Hank had over 150,000 votes! Steven said that Cartman, a cartoon character from the Comedy Central show South Park, was catching up to Hank. I didn't even see Cartman on the list so I don't know what the hell he was talking about. After Howard found out that Hank wouldn't be in the magazine he thanked Steven and hung up on him.

• Supermodel Carol Alt Comes In. 4/30/98. 8:30am
  Carol Alt came in to plug some crazy workout-a-thon that she's going to be a part of. If you'd like to find out more about this workout-a-thon you can call 1-800-266-7920 or visit www.cityofhope.org. In the past Fred has said that Carol shouldn't call herself a ''Supermodel''. He had his crazy reasons but they never really made sense. This morning he was still arguing with her about it. Fred actually researched real supermodels on the web last night and said that the research showed that Carol Alt is not one at all. He said something like models have to make at least $8 million to be considered ''super''. Well Fred didn't give up on his crusade. He kept giving his little comments throughout the interview. He even said that when he searched for her on the web nothing came up. A couple of listeners called in and disputed that. One woman said that Carol's name came up 400,000 times. Whatever.. One of the surprising facts was that Carol has been in tons of movies. She was also in Howard's movie Private Parts. Carol said that she just finished shooting some tv show in Zimbabwe. I think the series is coming here to the states but I'm not sure. Howard was drooling over Carol for most of the interview. He said he'd run right to her if his wife died. Carol kept egging him on too so Howard was convinced that she actually likes him. Gary saw right through it and pointed it out to Howard after a commercial break. That bummed Howard out but snapped him out of his trance.

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  -- Wednesday April 29, 1998 --

• Hank The Dwarf Rockets To Number 1 Most Beautiful! 4/29/98. 6:20am
  Someone called in to give Howard the latest on Hank's new found fame. Hank was not only number one on People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People poll but number 2 and number 16. If you don't type in Hank's name exactly like this ''Hank the Angry, Drunken Dwarf'' it doesn't count for first place. That's why he was number 2 as ''Angry Dwarf'' and number 16 with ''Hank the angry drunken dwarf''. When this caller gave Howard the info Hank had over 35,000 votes to Leonardo Decaprio's 6,000 or so. What a turn out for Hank! Howard gave Hank a call this morning to find out if Hank even knew about it. Since Hank doesn't know anything about computers he was clueless. Gary said that someone from People Magazine's web site left voice mail asking for a picture of Hank. Apparently this poll isn't going to make it to the print version of the magazine. It's only for the web. See, if we all come together we can make a difference! Hank for President!

• Daniel Carver Movie Reviews. 4/29/98. 7:30am
  KKK member Daniel Carver called in to give 3 new movie reviews. Daniel has been doing this for quite a while now and people love it. Daniel rates movies on a scale of 0 to 5 burning crosses with 0 being the worst. This week's movies are Shaft, Gung Ho and Tu Wong Fu. Racist Daniel doesn't usually give big ratings to any movie with minorities starring in them so today's movies got pretty low ratings. Here they are:
  • Shaft - 0 Burning Crosses
  • Gung Ho - 2 Burning Crosses
  • Tu Wong Fu - 0 Burning Crosses
  Daniel said Gung Ho was the best of the batch but it still wasn't that good. He hated Shaft which is about a black detective and Tu Wong Fu which is about cross dressing guys. Howard kept Daniel on the phone for a while so callers could yell at him about being such a racist. Daniel really doesn't care what anyone thinks of him. He'll continue being a mega-racist 'till the day he dies.

• The Homeless Game. 4/29/98. 8:15am
  This is the latest homeless game where Stuttering John goes out and interviews a homeless person. Howard gives away prizes to callers who can guess whether or not the homeless person will answer correctly. The first caller had to guess 3 out of 5 correctly to win a bunch of CD's and other prizes. Here were his warm up questions just to get a feel for the intelligence of this homeless guy:

  Question	Answer	Correct?
  Who is the Vice President of the United States?	Who the fuck is the Vice President?.. I don't know.	N
  What food does toast come from?	Bread	Y

  The guy playing the game got his 3 out of 5 correct answers in only 4 questions. Here are those 4:

  Question	Caller Says	Homeless Answer	Correct Answer?
  Who is Hillary Clinton married to?	Y	Bill Clinton	Y
  What country do Chinese people come from?	Y	Japan	N
  How many states are in the United States?	N	Fifty two	N
  What is H2O?	N	Clorox	N

  Howard and the crew bet on the rest of the questions. They let one more caller play the game but he only had to answer one question right to win his prize. Here are the rest of the questions:

  Question	Homeless Answer	Correct?
  What do you call a woman married to a king?	Queen	Y
  What animal has babies called kittens?	Tigers	Close enough
  Name your five senses.	Smell, feelings, senses, thoughts and smell	N
  Name a country in Europe.	Opia	N
  What does CD stand for?	Credit card	N
  Name one borough in New York.	Manhattan	Y
  What is a carnivore?	A place you go to get on rides.	N
  Where does pork come from?	Pigs	Y
  What vegetable do pickles come from?	A spurrow	N
  How many members were in the Beatles?	Six	N
  What is the drinking age in New York?	Twenty one	Y
  How many cards are in a deck?	Fifty two	Y
  Who is Ronald Reagan?	Ex-President	Y
  Name one food considered poultry.	Fish	N
  New York City is known as The Big..what?	Apple	Y
  How many dimes are in a dollar?	One hundred	N
  What is the anus?	Your ass	Y
  Where does milk come from?	A cow	Y
  Is the current mayor of New York white or black?	White	Y
  Who was the first President of the USA?	Reagan.. I don't know	N
  Where is the capitol of the United States?	Washington	Y
  How many years in a decade?	One thousand	N
  How many months in a year?	Fifty two	N

• How To Pick Up Exotic Dancers. 4/29/98. 8:55am
  Theresa Reed, author of ''Tyffany Millions Guide To Meeting Exotic Dancers'', called in with some of her tips. First of all she's a fat woman. She said that she weighs 250 pounds! There was an E! camera at her house to get tape of what she looks like. She was wearing a black negligee but I don't think too many people will want to see that. She's 35 years old and has been picking up other women since she was 17. From what she was saying it sounds like she's never had sex with a stripper. I think she's just been kissed and felt up by them. The tips she gave were pretty simple. She said make sure you're clean when you go to the strip club. Bring some money so you can tip her while you talk to her and talk about her. Of course there were people on the phone who disagreed with some of the things she said. One stripper called in and said that she doesn't want guys to talk about her. Some guys called in and said that you shouldn't pay the women you're interested in because you won't know if they're interested in you or the money. Howard's buddy Ralph called in with some of his tips too. Ralph has a lot of experience picking up strippers so he knew what he was talking about. He also agreed that you shouldn't give the girls money. Howard told Ralph that he should have written a book himself. This led to a discussion about whether Ralph is a good looking guy or not. The majority of women at Howard's station agreed that Ralph isn't good looking.

• Leslie West Talks About His Penis. 4/29/98. 10:25am
  While Howard and Robin were discussing this new drug Viagra, which gives men erections when taken, they decided to call Leslie West. Leslie was in the band Mountain. He has diabetes and has a problem getting an erection. In the past he's spoken about how he had to inject his penis to get an erection. Today he was talking about another drug he uses called Muse. He said it's a suppository that looks like a swizzle straw. He actually slides it inside his penis! The drug gives him an erection within a short amount of time. I can feel the pain.. Leslie says he doesn't mind doing it.

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  -- Tuesday April 28, 1998 --

• Scott Ian, Guitarist For Anthrax, Calls In. 4/28/98. 7:05am
  Scott Ian called in on September 30, 1997 to plead with George Steinbrenner to give him a break for something stupid he'd done. He was caught trying to steal some kind of pitcher's mound cover with the Yankee's baseball team logo on it. The only problem was that it weighed about 200 pounds and he couldn't carry it. Scott called in today to tell Howard that Mr. Steinbrenner dropped the charges against him. Scott had to thank Howard because he was the one who set up the phone call back in September. Needless to say, Scott probably won't be trying that stupid stunt again. Scott was also plugging the fact that there will be a new Anthrax album out in July. I believe the name of the album will be ''Volume 8''.

• Vote For Ted Sliwinski In Cuyahoga County Ohio! 4/28/98. 8:40am
  Howard is urging registered democrats who live in Cuyahoga County Ohio to vote Ted Sliwinski in for judge next tuesday in the democratic primaries. The current judge, McGinty, is the judge who heard the case where someone was caught cutting the satellite feed for Howard's celebration show in Cleveland. Judge McGinty made some comments about Howard Stern fans that really pissed Howard off. Now Howard is trying to get him booted out of his job. Howard talked to this new guy, Ted Sliwinski, who is running for that position. He's been an attorney for 22 years and that's all Howard needed to hear to back him. He's also married with 2 children. So here's the slogan I just came up with ''F-McGinty! Vote Sliwinski!''

• A Lesson For Stern Fans Who Listen At Work. 4/28/98. 9:50am
  If you listen to Howard at work and someone asks you to change the station maybe you should listen. Robin read an article about a guy who was stabbed because he wouldn't change the radio station from Howard to a music station. These two guys were working together as electricians I believe. When one guy asked the Stern fan to change to a music station he refused. The Stern fan was then stabbed with a box cutter. The guy who stabbed him then took off but eventually turned himself in to the police. The fan is okay and his injuries weren't life threatening. Now what lesson have we learned here? This is what I learned... When a co-worker asks you to change the station, make sure you pick up a weapon before he does! Actually, I guess you should change the station before the other person tries to kill you.

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  -- Monday April 27, 1998 --

• Small Penis Contest Winner Calls In. 4/27/98. 6:25am
  Last Friday's small penis contest winner, Paul, called in to tell Howard how the rest of his day went. He said he went down to Atlantic City after the show and met some people who heard the show. Their bus driver heard the show and was surprised when Paul broke into the song he did for the talent portion of the contest. Don't be surprised if you see Paul appearing with other wack pack members at strip clubs sometime in the future.

• Howard's Dog Debate. 4/27/98. 7:30am
  There wasn't much going on today so it seemed like a hell of a lot of the show was spent talking about whether or not Howard should get a dog. He talked about his a couple of weeks ago but it came up again today. Howard and his family decided that they wanted a black lab. Howard was almost convinced to get one but the longer he thought about it the less he wanted one. If he does get a dog he wants a female because he doesn't want to see the dog's balls and penis hanging around. Today the subject of ticks came up. Howard is really paranoid about having ticks in the house and on him. They must have spent at least an hour talking about this stuff. By the end of the conversation Howard had decided not to get a dog. After hearing horror stories from listeners who had ticks in weird places, he was pretty disgusted by it all. He even had his wife Alison on the phone to hear some of the stories. She said that she's not ruling out getting a dog even after hearing the tick stories. Howard admits that he'd go nuts with a dog in the house. He knows that no one will take care of it after the excitement of a new pet wears off.

• Robin's Sex Dream About Howard. 4/27/98. 7:50am
  Robin mentioned that she had an unusual sex dream about Howard. She didn't get into too much detail but did make a quick mention of what it was. She said that in the dream Howard was tied down to a bed and she would go visit him once in a while and give him oral sex. That's about all the details she got into. I thought that Howard would have wanted her to give more but they never got around to it.

• Big Foot Matt Comes In With A New Girlfriend. 4/27/98. 8:45am
  The guy with the biggest feet in the world, Matt McGrory, came in today to show off his new girlfriend. Matt has been on the show a few times in the past. He's 7'6'' tall and has huge hands and feet. Howard said he's pretty odd looking. He's not kidding. The guy is wide but not fat and he walks kind of hunched over. His voice is really freakish. It sounds like he's putting his voice through a harmonizer like Howard does when he want's to talk in a really deep voice. So he showed up with Christina, a 6'4'' tall woman. They met on some tall club website. Christina lives in upstate New York and Matt lives in Philadelphia. He drove about 3 hours to meet her in New York. They seem to have hit it off and have gone out about 4 times. Howard asked them if they've had sex yet and they couldn't come up with an answer right away. It turns out that they've only kissed each other so far. Matt hasn't even felt her up. Some woman called in and said that Matt may be lying about this relationship because he asked her friend to go in with him the last time he was on the show. He and Christina denied that claim and kissed for Howard to prove that they really like each other. Matt is trying to pursue an acting career now but I think his roles would be limited. Let's wish these two the best on their new relationship.

• Bob Harris Calls In. 4/27/98. 9:15am
  Who the hell is Bob Harris? That's what I'm wondering. Howard was talking about this guy earlier in the morning. Apparently he was a famous tv weatherman on CBS years ago. At the time he was known as Dr. Bob Harris and he was really good at his job. He was fired from his job when CBS found out that he wasn't a real doctor. He'd lied when he applied for the job. He told Howard all of the details this morning. Today was a slow day on the show so Howard had to talk about something. Bob is now working as a consultant and doing voice overs.