Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 3/23/98 to 3/27/98

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-- Friday March 27, 1998 --
• Dr. Remulak Returns. 3/27/98. 7:10am
  The first time Dr. Remulak was on the phone was back in November 1997. That was the first time he was on the air even though he's been calling in for years. Stuttering John convinced this guy to come on the air once again today. Dr. Remulak calls in just about every day and just repeats ''I am Dr. Remulac'' over and over. He won't answer questions unless Stuttering John asks them. If Howard or Robin asks him something he ignores them. Once in a while he'll slip and answer but then repeats ''I am Dr. Remulac'' a bunch of times. He was answering Stuttering John though so we did learn a few new things about this guy. He's a real Doctor, a dermatologist to be exact, and he has a wife who knows he does this. He lives in California and he's on Prozac to control his sickness. He also has to touch fire hydrants when he's out walking. He also has to avoid cracks when he's out walking or he has to take 3 steps back. He said he may come on the show sometime but he'd have to be in some kind of disguise. Until then he'll be calling John and repeating ''I am Dr. Remulac'' over and over again.

• High Pitched Eric Comes In. 3/27/98. 7:45am
  High Pitched Eric was supposed to bring his girlfriend Daniele in with him today. Eric claims that Daniele was his first sexual experience even though he's 26 years old. According to Eric she's 18 years old and weighed 180 pounds or so. She ended up breaking up with him before he could get her on the show. Howard didn't believe that this girl ever existed but Eric swears that she does. He said he's going to try and work things out with her this weekend. In the mean time he's got another date. He used some phone service called Telecafe to meet Maxine. He had to pay like $69 for 12 hours of access or something like that but he met Maxine. She called in and Howard found out some stuff about her. She's 5'6'' and weighs 150 pounds. She said she has huge breasts and she's very athletic so the weight is from muscle...yeah right. Howard also heard some stories about Eric. It turns out that he's got an apartment full of beer and he drinks himself silly on weekends. One male prostitute called in and said he serviced Eric. Eric denied that claim though. An old neighbor of Eric's called in and said Eric's mother used to lock him up in his room and he'd toss notes to his friends. Howard said he wants to send the E! camera along with Eric when he goes on the date with Maxine. Keep an eye out for that on E!.

• The Worst Sternac Bit Ever. 3/27/98. 8:25am
  Howard does this bit once in a while and it's usually funny. Today it was just plain stupid. The jokes were barely jokes and even Howard knew it sucked. Jackie wrote the jokes so we can all blame him for the disaster. Plus, Al Rosenberg was doing his Ed McMahon impression which also made the bit unbearable. Howard tried to make it work but he didn't understand some of the jokes. I called in and asked Howard to please stop doing the bit. I also told Ed (Al) to shut up because he just continued to laugh. Howard took a few more calls from people with the same opinion. Everyone said it sucked. Howard said there was one guy on hold who said it was funny but the guy hung up before he could get to him. Maybe Jackie has lost his mind or something. Hopefully next time he'll try harder.

• The Mike Walker Game With Michael Buffer And Angelica Bridges. 3/27/98. 8:50am
  Michael Buffer, the guy who says ''Let's get ready to rumble'' at boxing events, and Angelica Bridges from Baywatch came in to play The Mike Walker Gossip game. Michael's girlfriend was also there with him. Michael will be introducing the Shannon Briggs fight down in Atlantic City tomorrow night. I don't know why Angelica was there other than to just look good. Howard somehow got to feel up Angelica. He mentioned something about breast implants and she offered to let him fell them himself. She walked over and Howard copped a few feels. He took his time trying to determine whether they were real or not. He said they felt real so she thanked him. Of course Howard was in love with her from then on. Eventually they got around to playing the gossip game.

  Here are this week's Mike Walker gossip stories. Mike calls in with 4 stories. Three of them are true, one is false. Try to pick the false story:

  1. After Keenan Ivory Wayans lost his talk show a security guard asked to see some ID before he entered the studios where he used to work. He was very offended by that.
  2. Fans of the movie Titanic have turned a grave site up in Nova Scotia into a shrine for Leonardo Decaprio's character in the movie. The only problem is that the grave isn't the person his character was based on.
  3. John Cusack is undergoing acupuncture treatment to kick his Coke habit. Coca Cola habit that is. His dentist told him that his teeth are rotting because of his excessive drinking of the cola.
  4. Michael Jackson is searching for a submarine so if and when an asteroid hits the earth and floods it, he'll have a home.
  Angelica chose number 4 as the false story. Michael Buffer chose number 1 and his girlfriend Elina chose 4. Al Rosenberg(still hanging around) chose 3, Jackie and Robin both chose number 1 and Howard chose 4. The actual false story was number 3. Al Rosenberg was the only one to get it right.. finally something he's good at!

• Some Woman Gets Naked For Howard. 3/27/98. 9:35am
  Some woman came down to the studio and offered to get naked for Howard. The woman claimed that she was a regular woman although Gary said that she looked like she might be a stripper or something. She also claimed that she's 28 years old but Gary thought she might be lying about that by a few years. The woman came in and stripped down. Howard even ended up playing butt bongo on her ass. The woman is an Investment Banker.

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  -- Thursday March 26, 1998 --

• Boxer Shannon Briggs Comes In. 3/26/98. 7:10am
  Boxer Shannon Briggs came in to plug his fight this Saturday night on HBO. Shannon will be fighting Lennox Lewis. Shannon dedicated this fight to Howard for some reason. The last time he was on the show he told Howard that he would dedicate it to him and he did. It must have been a press conference where he announced that he would be dedicating it to him. When he came in today he had a huge entourage with him. There were trainers and managers and about 3 or 4 publicists. You can also buy stock in the company that manages Shannon. I believe it's World Wide Entertainment Services or something like that. The stock symbol for the company is WWES on NASDAQ. Howard talked to a bunch of the people that were with Shannon. It was quite a circus. Someone called in after Shannon left and said that he would lose the fight because he has asthma. Robin confirmed that the guy has asthma but said she forgot to mention it while he was there. The caller said that Shannon will lose the fight in the first round.

• Howard Saves Andy Dick's Life!? 3/26/98. 8:25am
  Last Friday Howard talked to actor Andy Dick on the phone a bunch of times near the end of the show. Andy was acting kind of strange but it didn't seem out of the ordinary. Today Candice Trunzo from The Globe magazine called in to tell Howard how he may have saved Andy's life. The Globe will be running a story about how Andy's live-in girlfriend was listening to the show when Andy called in and figured he may have been high on something. That led to Andy admitting himself into a rehab center to get off of whatever he may have been on. So The Globe calls that saving his life. According to Candice, Andy will be in rehab for 90 days. Andy said he'd come and do the show sometime soon but it looks like he may be out of commission for a while. If I hear anymore about this story I'll be sure to post it here.

• The Homeless Game. 3/26/98. 8:45am
  This was the longest Homeless game ever played. It took up a good portion of the show today. Howard was giving away tickets to some Rain Forest concert so they played the Homeless Game with a couple of listeners. Here's how the game is played: Howard has tape of a homeless person who was interviewed by Stuttering John. Howard plays the question asked by John then the listener has to guess whether or not the homeless person will answer correctly or not. If that person gets a certain number correct they win the tickets. After they're done with the caller Howard and the gang end up betting on the answers with each other. Howard plays a couple of warm-up questions first to see how the homeless person will answer. Here are the warm-ups:

  Question	Answer	Correct?
  What does D.W.I. Stand for?	Drinking under influence of alcohol, driving intoxicated under the influence	Close enough
  How many cards are in a deck?	52 or 54	Correct

  Okay so he wasn't too stupid. Howard had Frank on the phone to play so here's how his questions went. He was supposed to get 4 out of 7 to win. He ended up losing but Howard gave him a chance at one more and he won:

  Question	Caller Says	Homeless Answer	Correct Answer?
  How many years until 1999?	Y	One	Correct
  Who owned the United States before 1776?	Y	Indians`	Incorrect
  Name a computer company.	Y	IBM	Correct
  What is Popeye's girlfriends name?	Y	Olive Oyl	Correct
  If I have 3 apples, give one to you, how many do you have?	Y	Two	Incorrect
  What country do chinese people come from?	Y	Japan	Incorrect
  How many states are in the USA?	N	50	Correct
  What do you call a woman married to a king?	Y	Queen	Correct

  Next up was Tony. Best 3 out of 5 was his quota and he won:

  Question	Caller Says	Homeless Answer	Correct Answer?
  What is paper made out of?	N	Cardboard	Incorrect
  What animal has babies called kittens?	Y	Cats	Correct
  Name your five senses.	N	Lonliness, fearfulness ....	Incorrect

  Howard and the gang spend another 20 minutes betting on the rest of the questions so here they are:

  Question	Answer	Correct?
  If you bump your cranium, where do you hurt?	Thigh	Incorrect
  Name a country in Europe.	Spain	Correct
  What color was George Washington's white horse?	Black	Incorrect
  What is a carnivore?	Certain things people do and don't do.	Incorrect
  What vegetable is a pickle made from?	Cucumber	Correct
  How many members were in the Beatles?	Five	Incorrect
  What is the drinking age in New York?	21	Correct
  Who is Ronald Reagan?	President	Correct
  Name one food considered poultry.	Fish	Incorrect
  How many dimes in a dollar?	Ten	Correct
  What is the anus?	A freaky person.	Incorrect
  Where does milk come from?	A cow.	Correct
  What tall building in NY has the initials WTC?	Empire State Building	Incorrect
  Is the current mayor of NY white or black?	White	Correct
  Who was the first President of the US?	George Washington	Correct
  Where is the capital of the US?	Washington DC	Correct
  How many years are in a decade?	Twenty	Incorrect
  How many months are in a year?	Twelve	Correct
  What part of the body does a dermatologist take care of?	The blood...from the feet on down...	Incorrect

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  -- Wednesday March 25, 1998 --

• 2 New Stations Added - Bloomington & Peoria IL. 3/25/98. 6:05am
  Believe it or not, Howard didn't know that these two stations actually joined up on Monday. Someone called and asked if Howard could mention that they were now broadcasting the show. The call letters are as follows:
  • WIHN 96.7 - Bloomington
  • WFXF 94.3 - Peoria

• Ex-prostitute Carol Rollins Calls In. 3/25/98. 7:15am
  This ex-whore called in to plug this book ''The Brothel Bible : The Cathouse Experience''. She spoke to Howard about what it was like to be a prostitute. It sounded like she enjoyed the job. A few minutes into the interview she told Howard that she got married to one of her clients and eventually got out of the business. Then she said that she is 50 years old and she started being a whore at 44! She only did it for 4 years and got out of it. She was actually with her husband for 2 of those 4 years. She said that she was almost addicted to it. When she was doing it she claims that she was making $500 an hour! From what Howard said she wasn't a very attractive woman so I can't imagine why she'd get such a high price. If you check out www.brothelbible.com you can see what she looks like. Howard asked her if she ever refused a guy because his pecker was too large. ''Of course'' she said. Then there were guys so small that the condom wouldn't stay on! Sounds like she had fun! You can order the book from Amazon.com at a discount or get it through the Brothel Bible web site.

• Press Conference For Charleston, SC And Portland, OR. 3/25/98. 8:35am
  For those of you who haven't heard one of these press conferences, you're not missing anything. When Howard goes into a new market he holds a press conference for the press in that area. What usually happens is the reporters ask Howard dumb questions about whether or not that market will accept his form of entertainment. They don't listen to what Howard says and they usually write a negative article about how Howard will fail in that market. It's all a bunch of crap. Today wasn't much different although it seemed like Howard was asking a hell of a lot more questions than the reporters were.

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  -- Tuesday March 24, 1998 (Replayed on Master Tape Theatre Sunday, April 25, 2010 and Sunday, September 25, 2011) --

• Howard Wins $800 For Oscar Picks. 3/24/98. 6:05am
  Last Thursday Howard and the gang bet on the top five categories for the Oscars. They put up $100 each with 8 people playing. Whoever picked the most winners correctly would win. Howard picked 4 out of 5 so he won. The only one he missed was Best Actor. He chose Robert Duvall but Jack Nicholson won it.

• New Station Added - St. Louis, Missouri WALC 104.1. 3/24/98. 6:30am
  Welcome St. Louis! This makes it 45 stations across North America carrying Howard's show.

• Crackhead Bob Phony Phone Call. 3/24/98. 7:00am
  Howard played tape of a funny call that they had Crackhead Bob make. Since Bob can barely speak they had him call a paging service and leave a message for Doug from E!. Scott The Engineer was coaching Bob as they went along. The girl who was typing the page understood about 3 words of what Bob was saying but she was so polite that she hung in there for the whole thing. It's hard to describe so if Howard replays it you've got to hear it.

• Dr. Loren Ritter - The Crap Doctor. 3/24/98. 7:50am
  This guy is a Naturepathic Doctor who sells some kind of colon cleansing stuff called ''Healthy Colon Body Cleanse.'' Howard spoke with the guy about how to have healthy bowel movements and crap like that. Surprisingly the delay was only hit a couple of times during the interview. They got into details about how this body cleanser clears out your intestines and all of the crap that builds up in there. The Dr. claims that people can have 20 pounds of crap stuck to the walls of their intestines and his stuff clears it out. He claims that it will clear out 1 to 5 feet of crap within an hour of taking it! He also said that he has a picture of a 5 foot bowel movement his father made! YIKES! The Dr. Says that people should be taking at least 2 dumps a day to be healthy. Howard took a phone call from a woman claiming to be a Dietician. She said that this guy is full of crap and that taking something to clear you out could cause problems. She recommends eating fruit and drinking water to cleanse your body naturally. There was also a medical student who said that some of the things the Dr. was saying were not true. If you'd like to find out more about this ''Healthy Colon Body Cleanse'' crap just call 800-218-0820.

• Robert Duvall Calls In. 3/24/98. 8:30am
  Actor Robert Duvall called in to talk about last night's Oscar awards show. He didn't win for Best Actor but he told Howard that he'd call in even if he didn't win. They spent a few minutes talking about the award show and about the time they spent together out in California a couple of weeks ago. Howard's really getting a kick out of this friendship.

• Gary Garver Interviews From The Oscars. 3/24/98. 8:35am
  Howard's California interviewer, Gary Garver, got a few interviews at the Academy Awards. Nothing was that great but he interviewed Larry King for over 4 minutes. Larry hung in and answered some dopey questions with his young wife at his side. She was helping out with the answers. Gary also got couple of quick interviews with Greg Kinear and Jennifer Tilly. Again, no great questions or answers from any of these people.

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  -- Monday March 23, 1998 --

• The Singing Psychic's Oscar Picks. 3/23/98. 7:10am
  Fran Baskerville, The Singing Psychic, called in to sing her Oscar picks for this evening. Howard didn't spend too much time with her today. He got her to sing her picks and asked her a couple of other questions and that was it. Here are her picks for the top 5 categories:
  • Best Film - Titanic
  • Best Actor - Jack Nicholson
  • Best Actress - Helen Hunt
  • Best Supporting Actor - Robin Williams
  • Best Supporting Actress - Gloria Stewart
  Last week Howard and the gang also bet on who would win the Oscars tonight. You can see those picks in last weeks news section.

• The Butt-Walk Girl. 3/23/98. 7:15am
  This woman called in earlier in the morning to tell Howard about her special talent of ''Butt-Walking''. She said she won some stripping contest that Robin was at for Miss Wild Wild West or something like that. Robin said she'd seen her do this butt-walking thing so Howard invited her down to do it. She came in and I guess she looked a little old and she talked with a weird lisp. The lisp turned out to be a tongue piercing. She went by the name of AC Haley. She did the butt-walk thing naked I believe. She somehow walks along the floor with her butt cheeks as feet. After that demonstration she showed Howard some ballet moves..still naked. She sounded pretty wacky. Howard thought that she was about 40 but she was only 34.

• Stripper Amy Lynn Calls In. 3/23/98. 7:35am
  Howard's old fried Amy Lynn called in to complain about a stripper down in Florida who's been impersonating her. Amy says that there's a stripper who's been booking herself as Amy Lynn Baxter from the Howard Stern Show. The impersonator has been telling people that she's slept with Howard. The real Amy Lynn wouldn't sleep with Howard even though Howard would love to. Amy also said that she confronted this impersonator. The impersonator said that she would continue to use Amy's name as long as she wants to and there's nothing Amy can do about it. Somehow this led to Amy punching the impersonator! The impersonator's boyfriend then threw Amy across the parking lot. Amy injured her hip as a result of that toss. She's trying to stop this impersonator but she's not having much luck. She supposed to be on the show in the near future so I'm sure we'll hear more about this soon.

• Kevin Bacon Comes In. 3/23/98. 8:20am
  Kevin Bacon came in for a short visit today. He was in to plug his new movie ''Wild Things''. He stars along with Neve Campbell, Matt Dillon and Denise Richards. According to Gary Denise is naked quite a bit in the movie and she's gorgeous. Stuttering John said that you can see Kevin's penis in the movie also. Some people were telling Howard that Kevin is hung pretty well. Howard spent some time talking about Kevin's wife Kyra Sedgewick. He's always fascinated with her when Kevin comes in. Kevin couldn't hang around long because he had to do the Regis and Kathie Lee show.

• Howard's Web Site Visit O' The Day. 3/23/98. 10:05am
  Howard recently saw, or heard about, one of Rosie O'Donnell's shows where all of the people in the audience had the same birthday as Rosie. Jackie said that they should have a show where all of the audience weighs the same as Rosie. That led to Howard going to visit Rosie's web site at www.rosieo.com and sending in the suggestion. He browsed around a bit until he found a section where he could send Rosie a birthday wish. He then gave his suggestion and gave Jackie's e-mail address. By now they've probably changed the site but feel free to sent Rosie and birthday wish.

• Robin vs Jackie - Continued. 3/23/98. 10:45am
  Last week Howard brought out the fact that Robin is mad at Jackie for something. Most people think it has something to do with Jackie leaving the show for 6 weeks but Robin is denying that now. Both Stuttering John and Gary say that they've brought it up to Robin but she says it's not the fact that he left the show. She also says that there is no problem yet she still won't talk to Jackie off the air. The Conversation went on for a few minutes but still no explanation. They then moved on to talking about Jackie's skiing accident and giant red nose. Jackie's got some kind of weird red thing on his nose that may be just an infected zit. Howard seems to think it's skin cancer or something like that. Jackie also smashed his face into a fence while he was skiing at some celebrity function in Aspen, Colorado. He wiped out and smashed his face into a temporary wood fence. Luckily it wasn't a tree. Jackie is going to get his red nose checked out today so we should have a diagnosis tomorrow.