MarksFriggin.com - Stern Show News

Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 3/2/98 to 3/6/98

-- Friday March 6, 1998 --

Mike The Intern's Obsession With Van Halen. 3/6/98. 6:55am
This new intern on Howard's show has a major thing for Eddie Van Halen. Howard read a note that Mike wrote about wanting to meet Eddie. The note basically said that Van Halen changed his life. Mike came in to explain why it changed him. He's a huge fan of the band and he actually changed his major in college so he might get the chance to meet the band. Well in a couple of weeks Van Halen is supposed to appear on Howard's show so Mike is going nuts. He said he's willing to do anything to meet them. Howard asked him if he'd give Eddie oral sex to meet him. Mike said that's the only thing he won't do. Howard also had Mike demonstrate his guitar skills. He plays okay but not great. That led to other listeners calling in claiming that they can play better than Mike. They were playing over the phone but they really weren't that good. One guy said that he'd be willing to nude oil wrestle Mike for the chance to meet Eddie Van Halen. That may be the thing that Mike has to do to meet his idol.
Porno Star Ron Jeremy On The Phone. 3/6/98. 7:30am
Ron Jeremy is always trying to get on Howard's show. Well he finally made it on for about 2 minutes today. Howard heard about a movie that Ron appeared in where he nailed some 87 year old woman. Howard only saw some still photos from the movie but he said it looked pretty disgusting. Ron wasn't too proud of that movie either. As a matter of fact Gary said that Ron almost canceled his appearance because he was embarrassed by it. The name of the movie is ''87 And Still Bangin'' for those of you who want to see some old bag having sex with a fat disgusting porno star.
Steven Baldwin Comes In Late. 3/6/98. 8:30am
Actor Steven Baldwin was supposed to be in at 7:30 this morning but he showed up an hour late. Howard was pissed because Mickey Rooney was also waiting to come on. Howard tried to interview Steven about his brother Daniel who was recently found naked and bloody in a hotel room after smoking crack. Steven didn't get into much detail about the whole thing so Howard had to move on to Mickey Rooney. Steven was there to promote a golf tournament being thrown in August by his mother's breast cancer foundation. For more info on the tournament check out his mother's web site at www.carolbaldwin.org. Steven hung around for the Mickey Rooney interview and the Mike Walker Gossip Game.
Mickey Rooney Comes In. 3/6/98. 8:40am
77 year old actor Mickey Rooney came in to promote a play he'll be appearing in out in Chicago. He'll be playing the wizard in The Wizard Of Oz starting March 21. Mickey has been an actor since he was 2 years old. He was very talkative this morning. As a matter of fact, he wouldn't shut up. Howard was trying to find out what it was like for Mickey to get laid back in the day's when he was a huge star. Mickey would bring up his wives and stuff like that instead. Mickey has been married 8 times! He's also been in 360 movies. He seems to be a fan of Howard's. He said that he enjoyed Private Parts and complimented Howard on his acting. Steven Baldwin was still in the studio so he was kissing Mickey's ass the whole time. Both of them stuck around for the Mike Walker Gossip Game.
The Mike Walker Gossip Game With Steven Baldwin And Mickey Rooney. 3/6/98. 9:05am
When Mike Walker called in this morning he thought that Steven Baldwin might give him a problem because of some things that were said about his brother in the National Enquirer. Well there wasn't any problem from Steven. Mike was just a little paranoid. Here are this week's 4 stories. One of them is false, try to pick which one it is.
1. Marlon Brando has decided not to receive mail anymore. He has become a recluse and can be found surfing the web late at night.
2. Cruise ship passengers have been trying to imitate a scene from Titanic where Kate Winslett stands on the bow of the ship with her arms out stretched.
3. A maid at a hotel accidentally walked in on Woody Harelson as he was doing yoga naked. She ran out and refused to return to the room.
4. Charlie Sheen has decided to wear pajamas all the time. When he needs to go to a meeting he just throws a sport coat over them.
Steven picked number 2, Mickey picked 3, Robin picked 1, Howard picked 4 and Jackie picked 2 as the false story. The actual false story was number 2. Mickey stuck around for a few more minutes to talk with Howard about this year's Oscar nominations. Mickey says that they're very weak this year.
Is Steven Baldwin A Tinkle Tickler? 3/6/98. 9:35am
Steve Baldwin stuck around for quite a while today. Even after Mickey Rooney left Steven was still hanging around. Howard had taken a couple of calls earlier from people saying that Steven may be gay. One guy claimed that he slept with Steven one night years ago. The guy said that he wasn't gay himself, just bi-sexual. He wasn't even saying that Steven was gay, just that he might also be bi-sexual. Steven denied all of this of course. There was another guy who said he saw Steven holding some guy's hand out at some street fair. The funniest call was from a woman who had an accent. She was calling Steven a ''Tinkle Tickler''. She claims that she saw Steven going into a gay coffee house somewhere so he must be gay. It was the way she kept saying ''tinkle tickler'' that was so funny. He said he may have gone into the coffee house but that didn't mean that he's gay. Steven is married and has at least one child. He'll be playing cards with Howard this weekend so Ralph called in and said that he wants to sit next to him. Ralph did that because everyone is always accusing him of being gay also. What a day this was.
More Evidence That Howard Is Whipped. 3/6/98. 10:10am
Yesterday Howard revealed his pussy whipped side when he told everyone that he was almost kicked out of his own house recently. Now he's trying to be more sensitive to his wife and kids. Well today he let out another clue about how whipped he is. He's on an allowance. His wife and accountant think that he spends too much money so they've put him on a $1000 weekly allowance. Believe it or not Howard spent all of that money this week on food and stuff like that. I guess he'll slowly let us in on just how controlling his wife is becoming. He revealed this when he asked his wife for money to play cards this weekend. Actually, he didn't ask for the money, he yelled that she'd better give him some for the game. That should cause a nice little fight tonight.
-- Thursday March 5, 1998 --
Howard's Plans For The Blockbuster Awards. 3/5/98. 6:05am
Next week Howard will be going to the Blockbuster Awards show out in California. The show airs live on Tuesday, March 10 on the UPN network. Howard and the gang will do a normal show on Monday. Tuesday they'll fly out to California and tape a show backstage at the award show. That show will air on Wednesday. I'm assuming that there will be a ''Best Of'' show on Tuesday. Howard said that he's not planning on doing anything outrageous at the show if he wins ''Newcomer Of The Year''. He may just thank a few people. Later this morning a woman called in who said that Howard shouldn't thank anyone and that they should thank Howard for all the years of entertainment that he's given. Howard may bring that woman with him to accept the award with him. Stay tuned for more details.
Dawn, The Woman Who Slept With A Minor. 3/5/98. 6:40am
This 23 year old woman, Dawn, was on the Jerry Springer show recently and admitted to having an affair with a 16 year old boy. She was arrested but let off with only probation I believe. Anyway, she called in to tell Howard to not talk about the story. She said that someone told her that Howard was talking about the story and she doesn't want a big deal made of it. She thinks that it's okay to sleep with a minor if the child consents to it. She and Howard argued with each other for quite a while. It turns out that she's a bit overweight at 180 pounds or so. Howard goofed on her about her weight and stuff but she was very feisty. A bunch of callers were also goofing on her because they saw her on the Jerry Springer show. She fought back with everyone. After Howard got off the phone with her he decided that she was such a good guest on the phone that he's thinking of having her come in live. She's the perfect match for Hank The Dwarf. Can't wait to hear what happens.
Gary Garver Interviews Greg Lugainis. 3/5/98. 7:15am
Gary Garver from KLSX out in California got a quick interview with diver Greg Lugainis. Gary asked Greg a couple of soft ball questions before asking the big one. The question that threw Greg was ''Have you ever thrown your gold medal in some guys lap so you could 'go for the gold'?'' As soon as that question came out Greg was outta there.
Bernard Fox And Erin Murphy From 'Bewitched' Come In. 3/5/98. 8:45am
If you watched the 1960's tv show ''Bewitched'' you may remember the character ''Dr. Bombay''. Bernard Fox played that character. Erin Murphy played the little girl ''Tabitha''. The two of them were in to promote a ''Bewitched'' marathon which will be on Nick At Nite next week. Howard spent 99% of the interview talking about the two Dick's who played Darren on the show. Dick York and Dick Sergent both played the character. Almost every question that came out of Howard's mouth included one or two of the Dick's. Bernard and Erin were both good sports about it and even made some Dick jokes of their own. Howard did find out a couple of things about the two guests also. Bernard is still acting and appeared in ''Titanic''. He was also in ''Hogan's Heros'' back in the 60's. Erin hasn't been acting lately but is going to try and get back in the business soon.
Dominic Barbara Wrecks His Mercedes. 3/5/98. 9:20am
A listener called in to tell Howard that he saw Bloated Attorney, and friend of the show, Dominic Barbara at an accident scene. It turns out that Dominic crashed his Mercedes Benz into some woman's truck. A little while after the listener called in Dominic called in to confirm it. He said he was in the ambulance when he called. Surprisingly he pretty much admitted to being at fault. He said he wasn't being careful and hit this other vehicle. That surprised me since he is an attorney. Don't they always tell you not to admit to being at fault no matter what? Maybe he was still in shock. Dominic wasn't seriously hurt in the accident. Howard thinks that Dominic's fat belly may have acted as an extra air bag.
Disabled Kelly Complains About Christopher Reeve. 3/5/98. 9:50am
Kelly, a woman disabled by Cerebral Palsey, came in to complain about Christopher Reeve's mission to find a cure for spinal cord damage. At least that's what I think she was complaining about... Kelly was a very angry woman. Howard thought that she was coming in to yell about Christopher Reeve but when she came in she said that wasn't what she was there for. She was complaining about how Christopher Reeve is raising money for research but he's not giving equal attention to the disabled people who can't afford to get spinal cord cures. Actually I'm not even sure if that's accurate because she wasn't being that clear with her argument. She also didn't want anyone to help her do anything. She wouldn't let Gary help push her wheelchair and she was very bitchy when Howard asked her questions. What a bitch!
Howard A Changed Man Or Just Pussy Whipped? 3/5/98. 10:40am
Howard and the gang were talking about playing cards this weekend. They were planning on playing on Saturday so a couple of the guys had to call their wives to make sure they were allowed to. Gary had to call Mary and make sure. It was okay with her because she'll be going out with her friends on Wednesday. Stuttering John said he's allowed to go and doesn't have to ask his wife. Howard's call was the most unusual though. Howard ASKED his wife instead of telling her like he usually does. In the past he would have just told his wife that he was playing. This time he was making sure it was okay with Alison. He told her that if it wasn't okay they could talk about it and work things out. This wasn't the Howard Stern we know and love, this was ''Pussy Whipped Howard''. It turns out that Alison gave him an ultimatum, shape up or ship out. He said that Alison was ready to kick him out of the house because of the way he was acting. So since he doesn't want to lose half of his money he decided to shape up. He now eats dinner with his family on Sundays and talks with them more. This shouldn't affect his on air personality. We'll see.
-- Wednesday March 4, 1998 --
Henry Hill Checks In. 3/4/98. 6:30am
Ex-mobster Henry Hill called in for no good reason this morning. He sounded like his old self today. It sounded like he may have been drinking so he was in a jolly mood. Henry had a woman on the phone with him but it wasn't his girlfriend. The woman was some prosecutors girlfriend or something like that. Howard said that Henry is pitching a cook book to some publishers and Howard got a hold of the pitch. It basically says that food was a big part of the mob and would know that. I guess the recipes are his. If the cook book ever gets released I'll be sure to post it here. As far as the woman on the phone with Henry, it was too confusing to figure out so I'll give up now.
Author Tracy Alderman Calls In. 3/4/98. 7:10am
This woman wrote ''The Scarred Soul : Understanding & Ending Self-Inflicted Violence''. It's about people who self-mutilate themselves. Howard seemed pretty interested in the subject. He spoke to Tracy for a little while about the different ways people self-mutilate. She was saying that some people cut themselves with razors while others chew their fingernails until they bleed. Some people even pull their own hair out. I guess it's some kind of illness. If you're interested in reading more about it, click here to order it.
Hank The Dwarf Does Karaoke. 3/4/98. 7:30am
Hank The Angry Dwarf had come down from Massachusetts to be a judge on the show today. He showed up at the station at 3:00am already drunk. Apparently he came down extra early to hit the bars in New York City because they close too early up in Massachusetts. He was nice and drunk when he came in. Howard had Hank dress up like the Easter bunny. During past appearances Hank had mentioned that he liked singing Karaoke songs so Howard arranged to have him sing a couple today. He sang along to a Led Zeppelin song and also to ''Jumpin Jack Flash''. It was pretty funny. Howard also arranged to have a breathalyzer test set up so they could see just how drunk Hank was. Well on the first blow he blew a .52! That's pretty much dead so Howard had them do it again and he blew a .375 which is almost 4 times the legal limit in New York. He was handling it pretty well though. Gary had Hank perform some of the usual drunk driver tests where the cops have you touch your nose with your eyes closed and stuff like that. Hank did pretty well with those tests too. He's an amazing little dwarf. Howard took a bunch of phone calls from listeners who wanted to yell at Hank. Hank's most common comeback was ''why don't you go have sex with your mother!''. He must have used that line 10 times.
Does Nicolette Look Better Than Pamela Lee? 3/4/98. 8:10am
Nicolette is a 18 year old woman who called in the other day claiming that she is better looking than Pamela Anderson Lee. Howard wanted to see if it was true so he invited her down to the studio. He had 4 judges lined up to tell Nicolette the truth. Hank The Dwarf, Colt 40 Feinberg, Ralph and Hank's friend Todd were the judges. As soon as Nicolette came into the studio it was obvious that she wasn't even close to looking as good as Pam. Howard didn't waste much time with Nicolette. He had the judges give their opinions. Everyone agreed that she had a big ass. She wouldn't pick up her dress to show them but they could tell. She did take off her top to reveal her D-Cup breasts though. She claimed that they were real but who cares. Colt 40 Feinberg said that he would give her a negative number on a scale of 1 to 10. Ralph gave her a 5, Todd gave her a 4.5. Hank said that he'd either give her a 1 or a 10 depending on if she'd have sex with him. Howard said he found her kind of cute and gave her a 7 out of 10. Nicolette kept saying that she was better than Pam because she's all natural and Pam has had plastic surgery. That just didn't cut it with the judges.
Paul McKenna Hypnotizes Scores Girls And Interns. 3/4/98. 8:45am
The worlds greatest hypnotist, Paul McKenna, came in to hypnotize a bunch of people for Howard. Paul McKenna is going to be doing a Broadway show during the month of March. He'll be doing 7 shows on Sunday's and Monday's at the Roundabout Theater. Tickets are available by calling 212-307-4100 and if you mention Howard's name you'll get $10 taken off the ticket price.
The people who were to be hypnotized today were 3 Scores dancers, Amanda, Savannah and Karina, plus Benjy and Mike the interns and Doug and Issac from E!. The Scores girls were up first. Howard had Paul hypnotize them into thinking they had all had sex with Howard, Jackie and Fred. They questioned each girl and they all told stories about their sexual experiences. 2 of the girls claimed that Jackie liked to watch the others having sex while he put on lipstick. It must have something to do with Jackie being the ''JokeMan'' and thinking he's like a clown or something. So after that Howard had Paul hypnotize them so that they would demonstrate their orgasm's in the ''Orgasm Olympics''. Well Amanda and Karina were so graphic with their orgasm demonstration that the delay had to be hit a bunch of times. Savannah was a little more subdued although still very sexy.
After the girls were done Howard had Paul hypnotize the guys so that when Howard would rub his ear they'd get very aroused. That didn't last long because it was making Howard sick. Mike was so into it he almost fell over in pleasure. It was so gay that Howard just stopped. The next thing was to have Benjy the intern hypnotized to think that someone had stolen his penis. That was pretty funny because he thought that one of the other guys may have stolen it. He just kept asking for someone to give it back to him. Next up was Doug from E!. Howard had him hypnotized to think that he was having a baby and when Howard said the word ''baby'' Doug would go into labor. I can't wait to see that on E!. He gave birth and even pretended to hold the baby for the rest of the segment. The last thing they did was to have Amanda get really aroused when Howard pushed a buzzer on his megaphone. Howard loved that. Every time he wanted her to get turned on he'd just hit the buzzer and she'd go nuts.
Hank The Dwarf Sits In During The News. 3/4/98. 9:25am
After Hank's appearance earlier this morning he went into the green room and passed out for a while. When he finally woke up he came in and hung around for the news. Since he'd slept off some of his alcohol Howard wanted to do another breathalyzer test. This time Hank was having a lot of trouble blowing into the machine. He must have tried it about 8 times until he finally got it right. He blew a .324, down from a .375 earlier this morning. The whole time he was in the studio Stuttering John had to watch and make sure that Hank didn't fall out of his seat. At one point Hank said he had to leave because he had someone waiting for him. A little while later, around 11 O'clock, Gary came in and said that Hank had gotten out of his bunny outfit but refused to get dressed until Howard saw him running around in his underwear. Hank came back in and ended up showing Robin and Howard his penis. Howard said it looked like Hank was packing a big penis so he wanted Robin to see it. It turned out that it wasn't as big as Howard thought. Before Hank left he said that he's going to be in a movie called ''Shoe Shine Boy''. I don't know when or where it'll show up.
-- Tuesday March 3, 1998 --
Mr. Science, Robert Wolke, Calls In. 3/3/98. 7:10am
This guy called in to answer some interesting questions and to plug his book ''What Einstein Didn't Know : Scientific Answers to Everyday Questions''. The questions that Howard asked were mostly from the book so here are a few examples:
- If you drop a penny off the Empire State Building would it build up enough speed to kill someone?
- What's the best way to get ketchup out of the bottle?
- What's the difference between soap and detergent?
- Why are there pin holes in crackers?
- Why does ice float?
- Is gelatin made of cow hooves? (It's actually made of animal skin..I'm gonna puke)
- Why are bubbles round?
Those were just a few of the questions he answered while he was on the phone with Howard. There were more but I didn't get them all. There in the book if you're interested. Click here to order it. After Mr. Science answered all of those questions Howard talked to him about some other stuff. It turns out that Mr. Science is 69 years old and his wife is in her 50's.
Voice Mail Baba Booey Songs. 3/3/98. 7:50am
Howard played some tape of this guy who leaves some funny voice mail messages for Gary. The guy calls in almost every day and sings the words ''Baba Booey'' to different songs. Those are the only words he uses in the songs. He never leaves his name and sometimes he calls like 7 times a day. The few songs that Howard played were pretty funny.
Richie Sambora Comes In. 3/3/98. 8:40am
Richie Sambora from Bon Jovi has released a solo album titled ''Undiscovered Soul''. He came in to plug the album this morning. Howard also had a game to play while Richie was there so he wouldn't be too boring. Three interns came in with weird stories to tell about something that happened in their lives. Only one of the stories was true so everyone had to try and guess which one it was. Here's a short summary of each intern's story:
1. Erica - She was selling candy door to door and found a neighbor dead.
2. Mike - Found his college roommate in the shower with the dorm's Resident Assistant.
3. Shannon - While on a date she turned off the ringer on his phone. The next morning the date found out that he'd missed his mother's last dying moments.
Richie and Howard both picked Shannon's story as the real one. Robin and Jackie picked Erica's story and Fred chose Mike's story. The actual real story was Erica's.
Howard spent a while talking to Richie about his wife Heather Locklear. Richie also said that Bon Jovi is still a band and they'll be getting together next year to record a new album.
Tom The Screenplay Guy. 3/3/98. 10:20am
This guy Tom was waiting in the lobby of Howard's radio station waiting to give him some script. At first it sounded like he was being offered the script but if he didn't take it then Dan Akroyd was going to take it. When the guy came into the studio that wasn't exactly the story. Gary must have misunderstood what the guy told him (gee, what a surprise) and told Howard the wrong story. It wasn't exactly clear as to what he wanted to do with the script but I think he wanted Howard to play a part in it. When Howard questioned the guy they found out that he'd produced some movie in Korea with Susan Richardson in it. ''That's another story'' Tom kept telling Howard. Gary remembered that Susan Richardson (from ''Eight Is Enough'') had told a story about being sold into slavery, or something like that, during the filming of that movie. Needless to say Howard wasn't going to have any part of this movie so he got rid of the guy. Very strange people show up on the show..
-- Monday March 2, 1998 --
Howard Heading To California For Blockbuster Awards. 3/2/98. 7:50am
Melrose Larry Green called in to bore everyone this morning. He had a an ad from KLSX out in Los Angeles that's announcing the fact that Howard will be heading out there. Howard said that he will be going out to go to the Blockbuster Awards show and they'll be doing a show or two from California. KLSX is also having some kind of contest to let people be part of Howard's show or something. Howard hung up on Larry before he could drone on too much.
Penthouse Pets Visit. 3/2/98. 8:10am
Three Penthouse Pets Of The Year came in to play a trivia game. Paige Summers, Julia Garvey and Elizabeth Hilden came in to plug an appearance they were making today at the Virgin Megastore in New York City. Actually, Julia isn't a Penthouse Pet Of The Year, she's just a runner up. Howard interviewed them for a little while about their sexual habits and bowel movements. Paige said that she only goes like once a week or so! A woman called in a little later and said that she only goes about once every 10 days! Howard also found out that they all use tampons instead of pads and they all have breast implants. After talking to them for a while he had some relatively simple questions for them to answer. He asked questions like ''What is the square root of 81?'', ''What does Christmas celebrate?'', ''What European country is shaped like a boot?'' and ''What is the first line of 'America The Beautiful'?''. On some of the questions Howard and the gang were betting on whether or not the girls could answer them. The girls did better than some and worse than others. I'd say they were about average for hot chicks.
Robin's Big Secret. 3/2/98. 10:20am
Early this morning Robin said something to Howard about what she had done this weekend. She didn't tell the story, she just mentioned that she had done something funny. Howard wanted to know what it was but Robin just wouldn't tell him for some reason. Finally Howard got around to begging her to tell the story. She still refused to tell it on the air but finally agreed to tell him with her microphone turned off so the audience couldn't hear it. It had something to do with her boyfriend Tony, AKA Mr. X. She felt that it might embarrass him if she told the story to the audience. After she told Howard he said it wasn't that big of a deal and it wasn't worth begging over. Howard thinks that Mr. X should loosen up a bit.