Stern Show News Archives.
Howard and the guys talked about how Scott the Engineer hadn't shown up for work this morning. He was supposed to be doing his push-up challenge. Howard and the guys were debating over whether or not Scott would be able to do the 17 push-ups he was supposed to do. Robin said she doesn't think that he can do more than 2. Howard pointed out that he had lost 45 pounds in the months that he had been preparing for the event. He figures that since Scott is such a loser, he's going to lose. Howard is sure that he will fail and will not be able to complete the challenge.
Gary said that he was wondering what human would put himself in the situation that Scott did because he'd have to walk down the street naked if he lost. Howard said that guy is a loser and putting up the money they did shouldn't be an issue because they're sure he's going to lose. Howard said it's not a bet of luck, it's Scott betting on his inner-self so he will lose.
Howard said Dominic Barbara called him and said that Scott has set them up and he thinks he's going to be able to do it. No one believes that's the case though. Howard said he has a show to do today and he's not going to spend it all on Scott.
A caller told Howard that Scott will not be able to pull this off today. Howard agreed. Six weeks ago the guy couldn't do 2 push-ups so the guy is a mess. Ronnie the Limo Driver and Ralph were in the studio so Howard talked to them about the whole thing. Ronnie said he saw Scott going to the gym with his trainer Radu earlier. Ralph noticed that they had some paramedics standing by out in the hall.
After an edited out break Howard came back to the push-up challenge with song parodies about Scott. Gary said that Scott had just shown up to work and he had a huge entourage of Radu and many other people. He was surrounded by a bunch of people with a really serious look on his face. Stuttering John said Scott isn't even talking to anyone out there.
Gary came in and said that there was a lot of stuff going on out there. Scott is out in the green room circled by his entourage. He's got the serious face on and isn't talking to anyone. He said it's almost like a movie with Radu giving him motivational talks and stuff. Robin said he doesn't need that for a push-up challenge. Gary also said that Radu and Scott's original trainer almost got into a fight after someone accused Scott of using steroids. Howard said he's been in a rage lately and played some tape of him freaking out on Mike Gange recently. He yelled at him to get out of his face after they had played some tape he didn't want played. Howard replayed the clip after Fred did an impression of Scott yelling.
Gary said that their old intern Dean was going to be judging the push-up challenge. After that we heard a Scott the Engineer commercial parody for a play called ''Get outta my face!'' They played another Scott the Engineer song parody after that. The parody had clips of Scott's rampage in it. There was also a ''Scream 3'' commercial parody which included that rampage as well.
Howard said that he and Robin have put up $20,000 of their money and the other guys have put up various amounts of money for Scott and it all adds up to over $31,000. If Scott loses, he owes them some money and has to walk down the street naked.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the type of push-ups Scott will be doing are very hard. Howard said Scott is 44 years old and just dropped 45 pounds in 10 weeks so he's not going to be able to do it. Howard took another call from a guy who thinks that Scott can do this and he and his company are willing to put up $50,000 saying that Scott can do it. Howard didn't want to deal with the guy because he wasn't getting to his point, so he hung up on him.
Howard went through the list of guys in the room which included Ronnie, Ralph, Neil Drake and Al Rosenberg (as Mya Angelou). Howard took more phone calls and talked about what was coming up after that. He figured Scott would be out on the street naked within 35 minutes or so. Howard heard that Scott's wife might actually be there but Scott tries to keep her away from them. The guys goofed on her a little bit and did their impressions of her. Gary came back in and told Howard that Scott's wife was not there.
Howard heard that Scott was wearing a t-shirt and the guys were wondering if he was going to remove it. Gary said that Radu doesn't want any talk with Scott, he just wants him to come in and do his thing. Howard said that's not going to happen, the show is a talk show so he has to talk.
Dominic Barbara said he saw Scott and he looks really thin so he thinks he can do this no problem. Radu's partner came in and quickly told Howard they want Scott to just do his push-ups. Howard said he has to explain the rules to Scott and he's in charge of this whole thing so he's going to talk if he wants to. Howard said he runs the radio show, not anyone else.
Later in the show Howard and the guys were prepared for this challenge. They had Scott in the studio and he was looking thinner. Howard said he still looks like a loser though. He said Scott was wearing a t-shirt that was acceptable to him. Robin agreed on that. Ralph was calling Scott a loser so Scott lost it and called him a loser and freaked out on him, screaming that he was a faggot. Radu calmed him down and told him not to play the game.
Howard gave Scott the rules about how he had to touch the fist on the floor for the push-up to count. Scott agreed to the rules so they got into the challenge a short time later. Radu was telling Scott that this was it and he was ready to go. They went right into the challenge a few seconds later. Scott went through his push-ups with Radu and his guys cheering him on.
After the push-ups there was some controversy about whether or not he had completed the challenge. Scott and his entourage thought he had completed it. Howard wanted to know if he actually did do 17 push-ups. The judge said that he didn't do it so Scott freaked out on him and told the guys that they'd better pay off. Howard was going to go around the room and ask the rest of the guys if they thought he had done the 17. Dominic said his chest never touched. The judge said that he didn't do the 17 so that's what they were going by.
Scott started yelling at Howard for welching on the bet. He said that the counter said he did 19 push-ups. Dominic thought it would be fair to let Scott rest for a little while and then have him do them again. Howard said he asked Dean if he did them or not and he said he didn't. Howard told Dean to go look at the tape and come back with an answer. We heard some Scott song parodies after that.
Howard said some of the guys were telling him to just give Scott the money even if he didn't do what he was supposed to do. Gary said that they were not quality push-ups. Howard agreed and said that Doug did some the other day and he did some ''real'' push-ups. Howard said there were people yelling out that he had done 17 push-ups but they were Scott's entourage. Howard said Tom Chiusano told him that maybe they should just pay him off but he really doesn't want to do that. He wants it to be fair to everyone. Robin said Scott knew what he had to do to win this $30,000 and he didn't come through.
Howard had Scott in the studio and told him what the push-ups were supposed to be with his chest touching Dean's fist. Scott said that's what he did but the guys disagreed and said that he didn't do quality push-ups. Scott wanted to see Gary do 20 for him so Gary went down to the floor and did a few for him. Scott didn't think they were very good.
Dean came in and told Howard that after he reviewed the tape, he believes that Scott did do the push-ups. He said that he floundered after the initial decision but now that he's seen the tape, he's changed his decision. Howard said that Scott is still a loser and he doesn't know if he should go with the initial decision or the changed one. Howard eventually said that he was going to give Scott his money. He had Radu yelling out that he did 17 when he really didn't even do 2. No one could hear because of that.
Gary said that those push-ups weren't acceptable and Radu knew it. Howard said if Scott was honorable, he'd admit that they weren't good push-ups. Robin asked him to do one real push-up for them to prove he knows what one is. Scott wasn't going to do it.
The E! guys were showing some tape of Scott's push-ups and none of the guys thought he was doing them correctly. Howard said he was nowhere near the floor with his chest. Scott bragged that his knees never touched the ground. Dean said he was going to take responsibility for the whole thing but Howard pointed out that he's not the one paying. Everyone else has to pay Scott now. Howard told Scott he didn't do the push-ups but he will write the check for ten grand. Robin said she's going to do it as well.
Howard said there were people out on the street waiting to see Scott naked. He told Scott to go take his victory walk and brag about doing his push-ups. Scott said he wasn't going to do that. That was it for the replay of the push-up challenge. They went into the replay of the next day after a commercial break.
Howard started off the show talking about the day before when Scott the Engineer did his push-up challenge. He said he will discuss what he plans to do with Scott after that whole thing. He said he just came to a conclusion this morning.
He mentioned that Norm MacDonald would be coming in later in the morning. He got fired from Saturday Night Live and they'll talk about that. Howard said Norm was great on SNL and they've replaced him with Colin Quinn which he thinks is a mistake.
Howard said that Scott came in this morning as a nice guy, unlike yesterday. He said Scott really wants that money and he's spoken to a few people about that. He said he had a lot of stuff to talk about after that as well. They were on vacation and they had a lot of stuff going on during vacation. He said they got the biggest ratings of their careers and barely a mention in the news. He mentioned that Scott's push-up challenge aired last night on E! and they had an 800 number set up for people to vote on if they thought he did the 17 or not. Howard said he had to go to break after that.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he thinks that Scott believes he did the push-ups. Howard said he knows the referee got a little overwhelmed too. He said that all of the guys there knew that Scott wasn't doing the push-ups. His back wasn't straight and his hips and stomach would come down and touch the floor. He could barely even do that though. Howard said he might be misguided in his thinking. He knows that Scott worked very hard and they expected him to do the push-ups. He said he wanted to be fair to the guy and figured he'd give him the money anyway. He said Scott called him a welcher and he said he never welches on his bets.
Howard said he asked the ref if Scott had done the push-ups and when he said he didn't do them, he should have gone out on the street to walk around naked. Scott was the one who was welching on his bet. Scott didn't agree and said that he did his push-ups and he wasn't going to go walk on the street naked.
Howard told Scott that he should prove that he can do just one good push-up and they'd be happy with that. Scott said he didn't know he was being judged on form. Howard said of course he was, that's what he explained to him before the challenge started. Howard played some audio clips of Scott yelling at him the day before when he said he wasn't going to pay off on the bet. Howard said he went off on him like he was insane.
Howard said he talked to some guys about the whole thing and they thought that he shouldn't pay off. Gary said that he showed the tape to some people and they didn't think that he did more than 6 good push-ups. Howard told Scott that he didn't really do good push-ups and he probably shouldn't pay him. Howard said you're supposed to break the 90 degree plane but Scott didn't even come close to that. Howard said he could do 1000 push-ups the way Scott was doing them. He said Scott is the welcher on this bet and he shouldn't have to pay him.
Howard said Scott didn't do one push-up. What he was doing was resting on the floor. Scott disagreed of course. Howard said he wanted to explain to Scott why he wasn't going to get a penny from him so that's why he was doing this. He took a call from a guy who said that he backs Howard up in this whole thing and said that Scott doesn't deserve the money. Robin said they told him many times what the definition of a perfect push-up was and he still didn't do them. Gary said that he heard from the guys who were in the studio and they didn't want to pay off because of the way things were going. They said they would pay off if Howard was going to pay off though.
Howard told Scott he knew that he wasn't going to be able to do the challenge. He knows that Scott wants that money but he feels that Scott didn't win so he should be paying off on his bet. Steve Grillo came in and said that Scott didn't do the push-ups and he doesn't deserve the money. Howard said that Scott quit smoking and his horrible personalty came out after that. His yelling during the challenge really threw off Dean who was the referee in the event. That led to Howard playing some clips of Scott screaming at them yesterday.
Howard said Scott was like a guy in a Tyson fight but he had no one to fight. He was screaming at them and threatening them but no one was doing anything. Howard took another call and the guy told Scott he was going way too fast during the push-ups. Howard told Scott he didn't do push-ups, he was doing the worm. He felt so bad for him that he was going to give him the money anyway. Robin said she felt the same way. Howard took some more calls and people were telling him not to pay off on the bet. Howard said he knew Scott would never pay up on his side of the bet if he lost.
Gary said that Scott crumbled at the end of the challenge so he wasn't even ready for that. Howard went through a few more phone calls and let some more people comment on what went on. Dominic Barbara called in and said that maybe they should have a compromise. He'd feel better if they came to some kind of compromise and paid Scott something. He didn't think that they had been fair to Scott telling him that his push-ups weren't very good. Robin said she was saying something yesterday. Steve Grillo said Scott obviously wasn't trained to do good push-ups, he was trained to touch his chest on the fist.
Howard said Scott came in and did what he could do. Scott said he was doing 20 push-ups five times a day when he was training. The guys figured that they didn't look the same when he was doing those as they did when he did them in the studio. Howard said at least Scott did something. He said he's pretty sure that the poll they took will be overwhelmingly on their side, not on Scott's. The guys wanted Scott to do the push-ups today but Scott wasn't going to be doing them. He kept saying he didn't know he was being judged on form. Steve told him that push-ups are all about form so that's a lame excuse.
Robin wanted to call Scott a name so bad. Howard took more calls and one guy said he looked like a murderer running around the studio the way he was. Howard asked Scott if he took any steroids because he was running around in a rage. Scott said he didn't take anything like that. Howard played some more tape of him freaking out and talked about that a little bit more. Howard said Scott bullied Dean and he bullied him as well.
Nicole Bass called in and said that if Scott had any honor he wouldn't take the money. He just wants to take it because he wants it. She said those were not push-ups at all. She was also wondering why he was wearing a weightlifting belt. They spent a little time talking about how good it is that Scott lost some weight but they still weren't good push-ups.
Howard said that he's been doing push-ups for years to get to the point where he is. Scott trying to do that in 6 weeks wasn't going to work. Howard said his decision was final and he wasn't going to give him the money. Scott was saying that he didn't even care about the money that much. Howard said that this is the Scott who got him to give him money to start his DJ business. He was still thinking about changing his mind about giving him the money but he wanted Scott to agree that he didn't do them right. Scott kept saying, over and over again, that he ''did what he had to do.''
Robin asked Scott if he would have wanted to have seen the job done well if he had paid for something. Scott didn't answer. Howard took a call from a guy who said those were the most ridiculous things he's ever seen. He thinks that Scott didn't do them right at all. He said Scott was just born to be a loser and that's what he is.
Stuttering John suggested that they have Scott walk down the street naked and they'd give him the money. Scott wasn't going to do that so Howard told him to go stare at the wall in his studio. The money was right there for him but he wasn't going to take it. Scott said the money was secondary and he thinks he accomplished a lot even without it. He figures he can get that money some other way. Howard told him he'd have to put a gun to a bank teller's head to get that kind of money.
Howard thanked Scott and let him go but Robin was still thinking about paying him. She said the whole thing stinks. Howard said he loves Robin because she's so tender on the inside. He reminded her about a story where she got ripped off for $20 from some guy who gave her some sob story about his sick kid and wife being in the car. It was a scam but she gave up twenty bucks even though the guy only asked her for five. She said it does feel like Scott is stealing her money.
Scott was back in the studio but Howard kept saying he wanted to end the boring discussion. He kept offering the money to Scott if he would just admit that he didn't do the push-ups the right way. Scott would only say that he did what he had to do. He wouldn't admit defeat. Dominic Barbara called in and said he was going to pay Scott his part of the money. His wife was going nuts over it and she thinks that Scott did what he had to do. Gary said Scott does have the women's vote and that may be because of the way Scott did them. He did them like a woman might do them.
The guys were arguing about some of the rules in the contest. Robin said that they had an unpaid intern judging those push-ups and he should have stopped him way before he did. She said they could have had a forfeit if Dean had just pulled his hand out of there.
Howard asked Scott one more time if he did the push-ups. Scott said he did them. He knows he didn't do them perfectly straight and the exact way they wanted him to, but he did touch the hand. He said he went down and came back up and that's what he thought he had to do. He insisted that he did what he had to do for the challenge. He told Howard what he thought the rules were but everyone told him he was out of his mind.
Gary told Howard that Scott's wife was on the phone. Howard took the call and she told Scott not to admit to anything for the money. She thinks that he did the 17 push-ups and did a great job. She insisted that he did 17 push-ups but Howard told her to come in there and he'd show her what a real push-up was. Scott said the money really isn't relevant to him.
Howard told Scott's wife that Scott was saying that he did what he had to do. She agreed and said he did that. Howard told Scott to just admit that he didn't do them. Scott refused to do that. Howard had a blank check with him and said he would write the $10,000 right then if he just admitted that his hips and thighs touched the ground when he did the push-ups. Scott wouldn't admit it. He was remaining silent. He thought about it for a short time and said that he couldn't remember. He figured that his thighs may have touched even though his knees didn't. He said he knows his belly may have touched but he had to do that to touch Dean's fist. Robin said Scott refuses to look at the truth, that's all there is to it.
Scott said he didn't remember exactly what happened. Fred said that he loves Scott at one point so Howard asked Scott's wife Robin if she even loves him. She said she does of course. Scott said she almost threw him out a window while he was training because of his ''steroid rage.'' Howard told Robin that he would pay off Scott if he really thought he had done them right. Scott was still saying he did what he had to do.
Howard took a call from Danny Baldwin who said he had to get up at 3 in the morning to hear what the outcome was today. He said he was out shooting a movie and had to listen early yesterday. He also thought it was funny that Scott's wife was almost ready to break when Howard said that Radu was even saying he didn't do them right. Danny didn't get to see the E! show the night before because he was busy working.
Howard said he just wants Scott to admit he didn't do the push-ups and he would give him the money. Robin said she would feel better if he did that too. She said he has to be mentally ill not to just admit to it. Scott said that they weren't perfect, he knows that. He still thought he had stuck to the rules as he knew them though. That line ''I did what I had to do'' kept coming out every few minutes.
Howard offered Scott one more chance to admit that he didn't do them. Scott said ''I did what I had to do'' which got Stuttering John laughing at him. Scott said he knows he didn't do them the way they thought he should have been doing them. Scott said he didn't have a choice as far as touching his belly. He was feeling for the hand when he was putting his belly down. Robin and Howard said that they felt that they were being railroaded by this whole thing.
Howard told Scott to just admit he did the worm and not push-ups. Scott said his back did waver a little bit. He wouldn't come out and just say that's what he was doing though. Howard and Robin told him he was doing ''worms'' and not push-ups. Howard kept asking Scott if he did worms or push-ups and he seemed to be starting to crumble. He admitted that his back wasn't straight all the time. Howard wanted to end it but they kept going over the same things over and over again.
Howard said he wanted to see Scott do 5 real push-ups and he'd give him the money. Gary said they're willing to give Scott all that money if he can just prove he can do 5 real push-ups. Gary said he'd whip off all of his clothes and walk down the street naked for Scott's money. Howard wasn't going to do that. He stayed with Scott for a little longer and said that he was trying to give him the money but he wasn't taking it. Scott said he was trying to look like a good guy by doing that.
Robin said Scott planned to cheat them all along as far as she's concerned. Scott said that's not true at all. He said he did push-ups the way he thought he had to. Howard wanted Gary to pull some tape of them talking about how they wanted them done. Howard just told Scott to admit that he didn't do them the way they wanted and he'd give him the money. They went back and forth on that for a while but Scott still wasn't admitting to it.
Howard asked Scott to admit, man to man, that he did push-ups. Scott said he did 17 push-ups that weren't all that great. Howard said he had spent an hour and a half on this so far and it was enough already. Gary came in and said that he pulled tape and found that Howard had told Scott to do 17 ''perfect'' push-ups to win the money. Scott said he's not a cheat and he's not trying to lie and take their money.
Howard told Scott to get out and he wasn't giving him any money. Scott said Howard did give him a chance to take his money but he refused to agree to his terms. Howard still asked Scott if he did 17 perfect push-ups but he wouldn't admit to anything. Scott said he wasn't going to lie and admit to anything just to take their money. Robin said if he took their money, he would be lying. Scott said he wasn't taking their money and he's not lying.
Howard told Scott he's a mush and a loser and he'll never have any respect for him. He booted him out of the studio and said he had to take a break. Doug Goodstein came in and demonstrated what a good push-up was. He got on the floor and did a bunch to demonstrate. Howard asked Scott if he did anything like that. Scott said he guesses they didn't look like that.
Howard asked Scott to tell him if he thinks he won the bet yesterday. Scott still wasn't admitting to anything. Doug said he was a big supporter of Scott's and told him he should just do 5 today to prove he can do them. Howard said he was done with the discussion at that point and played a song parody about him and then went to break.
Howard said the ratings came out in New York and they had the highest ratings for the show ever. They didn't have much about it in the newspaper though. He got back to Scott and Scott said that he just viewed the tape with a clear mind and he's admitting that he didn't do 17 perfect push-ups. Howard told him he just wanted to prove his point and wanted him to admit he didn't do them perfectly. He said that Scott is a loser and he will always be a loser.
Scott said he was psyched out yesterday and that's what happened to him. He said he can't do them very well. Howard said that he choked, that's all there is to it. Robin said that even Radu was saying that Scott could do them perfectly until he got into the studio. Howard asked Scott why he thinks that happened to him. Gary said he knew... because he's a loser. Howard said he was going to pay Scott off because he is a loser and he won't have the ability to make that money again.
Howard said a loser chokes under pressure and that's what happened to him. Gary told him he looks great after losing the weight though. Scott said he's not done yet after Howard said he still looks awful to him. Howard figures he will gain it all back though. Scott insisted that he wouldn't gain it back. Howard told him he's a loser and he will go back to eating the crap he eats and gain that weight back.
Howard said he was going to write him the check for $10,000 even though Scott didn't win. He said he knows Scott and he knew this was going to happen. He said that Scott is pathetic and that's why he's getting paid. He's sad and pathetic and it's like giving to charity as far as he's concerned. He was happy that Scott became a man and admitted that he was wrong. In his eyes that meant that it was the start of him working his way to become a winner. He had to go to break after that.
Gary came in and said that his wife has an autographed picture of one of the guys from the play. Howard said she's probably sick of looking at him. Howard said Gary came over to visit him during vacation and he had stitches on his lip after they removed a mole from his lip. Gary said Gange shot the video of the operation and Gange almost passed out while they were doing it. Gange came in and said that he felt really bad for Gary and saw everything that was going on. Gary said the guy did a really good job but they had to dig down pretty deep to get it out.
Gary said he feels really bad for people who have stuff on their faces or other parts of their body because people just say stuff. He said one guy asked him who punched him in the face when he saw him. Howard got back to the story and said Gary asked to use his bathroom at his home office so he let him use it. Gary was in there forever and figured he was just going to pee. He didn't know he was going to make a doody in there. Gary said he was on the road and didn't know he was going to have to go. He said he had to go to a bunch of stores and stuff and didn't have a chance to stop and do what he had to do.
Howard said he realized that Gary was making a doody and he couldn't believe it. He would have sent him upstairs he if knew that was going to happen. Gary said he clogged that one up one time. Howard said he has to learn to send him to a different bathroom. He said he doesn't have the ability to go to the bathroom when he's away on vacation because he needs to be in his own bathroom. Robin said she's the same way. Gary said there's only one place he can't go. Robin pointed out that he was the first one to pee in a diaper when they tried that experiment. Gary said he can't go on an airplane, that's the one place he just can't go.
Howard said Gary made one hell of a stink in his bathroom too. He said through the rest of his vacation he was lining the toilet with toilet paper so his ass wouldn't be where Gary's ass was.
Howard cut Todd off and said his story wasn't what he was looking for. He asked him for more details and tried to find out about how he was faxing her every day. Todd said he was talking to her like every day for a couple hours a day. Howard said she's a nice girl but he wouldn't be into her that much if she wasn't a celebrity. Howard figures Todd could get better looking girls though. Todd said Debbie asked him if he had a fax machine and she suggested that he get one. They've been faxing back and forth ever since and it's very nice to have that.
Howard found out that Todd did that for about a month and a half. Gary heard that they met up again when Todd flew to New York and they kissed as soon as they met again. Todd said she was standing right there waiting for him and he wasn't sure if she was going to even recognize him when he saw her. He walked right up to her and gave her a hug and then a kiss. He said that was the next natural step as far as he was concerned.
Todd said he and Debbie hung out for the whole weekend but he didn't do anything with her. Howard said he must be gay if he didn't even touch her breasts. Howard said girls want you to feel them up and be pushed a little bit. He said he should have been unbuckling her pants and pulling them down. Todd said he wasn't looking to do that. He even stayed at a hotel and didn't stay with her.
Scott Einziger came in and told Howard that E! has a policy about the way their employees treat celebrities. They're not supposed to ask for autographs or anything like that. He figures Todd must be exempt from that rule or something. Todd went on to tell Howard about going to Debbie's house and how he met her family at a family dinner. Then he went to see her show one night and went to dinner with the mother, her sister and some friends as well. Howard told Todd that he would probably bang Debbie's mother before he'd even do Debbie. He thinks she looks like she could be a player.
Todd said they did kiss periodically over the weekend. He didn't feel her up or put his hand down the pants or anything like that. Gary said he knows the guy is probably playing the nice guy for the first date and he'll make his move on the next one. Howard explained how a guy has to go through all of that crap and then try to figure out a way to get rid of her. He said he will only know he wants to get rid of her when he finishes having sex with the. Howard asked him if he thinks he'd still want to lay there with her after he completes the act.
Todd said he really wants to see this relationship go on and he's not going to screw it up. Howard thanked Todd for calling in and told him to call back when he gets into her pants. Third base or more and he can call back.
Howard said the movie was also nominated for an International Movie Award but he wasn't sure what that was. He spent a minute on that and then got to some of the Christmas cards they got over vacation. He said he got cards from BJ Thomas, Kreskin, Tony Bisconte and May Pang, William Shatner, Bobby Shriver, Andy Richter, Joan Lunden, Joe Piscopo and Kimberly, Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas, Fran Drescher, Michael Buffer, Marilyn Manson, Sting, Alan Thicke, Chuck Norris and Governor Christie Whitman. He spent a little time on those and then said he had to go to commercial break.
Stuttering John came in and said they have a woman on the phone who wants to talk about the Blockbuster awards being fixed. She needed her voice disguised so Howard tried to set that up. He was eventually able to get that to work on the phone. He had her voice going through a synthesizer. The woman went on to tell Howard about how the promotion works and how people were told not to promote the vote on any radio show or anything. Robin and Howard had their voices in disguise as well so it was kind of distracting. The woman on the phone said that they once had a winner for the awards but that person couldn't show up so they picked someone else. Howard said he really doesn't care how they pick the winner as long as they pick him to win.
Howard said that they have to tell the people that they're going to win. He's demanded to know if he's a winner before going to award shows because he's not going to sit there while someone else wins. He would prefer to know ahead of time if he's going to win. Howard said Norm MacDonald was there so he had to take a break and get to him. He and Robin spent a few minutes talking about Blockbuster and how they're becoming the biggest game in town. Howard said he used to go to a small shop near his house because the guy would rent porn. Then he mentioned that he watched a lot of porn over the vacation. He said he watched a Taylor Hayes video that was really hot. He went to break after that.
Howard asked Norm about getting fired from Saturday Night Live. He heard that he was on Letterman last night talking about it. He told Norm that the shining light on that show was his news segment and the rest of the show just blows. Norm said it turns out Howard was completely wrong. Howard said he always knows when to tune in to hear norm, at 5 minutes to 12. He asked how the firing went down.
Norm said he was out in Los Angeles during the Christmas holiday when he got the call. Howard interrupted to take a call from a guy who said he knows that Norm was with Elle McPherson. The guy said he knows a guy who heard Elle talking about how bad Norm was in bed. Howard figured Norm wouldn't even deny the bad-in-bed story. The guy said that Norm was like Quick Draw McGraw and when he pulled down his pants he looked like a woman.
Howard got back to Norm's SNL story and said that he really was the best news guy on the show. He asked Norm what happened when he got the phone call. Norm said he spent some time with his son out there and forgot what he was talking about. Norm said it was kind of a sad time because Chris Farley had just died. Howard figured that wasn't a big shock but Norm said it really was a shock to him. Howard said it couldn't have been a shock after knowing what that guy was into.
Howard asked Norm about the funeral for Chris Farley and how that went. Norm talked about that a little bit and told Howard about some of the people who showed up there. He said he was shaken up quite a bit by that death. He's never really had someone he really likes die like that. He said Chris was one of those guys who was a good hearted guy. Howard said if he was high, he'd be the same way. Howard asked Norm if David Spade showed up to the funeral. Norm didn't see him there and figured he was just shaken up by the whole thing. Howard asked who else was there. He asked about Elle McPherson but Norm was ignoring that. Norm said that Chris Rock was at the funeral and Howard heard he was crying like a woman there. Norm said he wasn't crying himself but that's because he has trouble crying.
Howard got back to the story about Norm getting fired from SNL. Norm said he started hearing things about how they wanted to make changes over there from different people who work there. He was told it wasn't looking good for him and that they might be letting him go. He said some of the guys who worked there, like Frank Sebastiano, were telling him that things might not work out. Norm said he figured it was just Frank talking and things would be fine. Norm said things never looked good for him and he didn't think much of it. Then he got back this week and the guys told him to call this guy Don Ohlmyer who's the President of NBC. Norm said he heard that Don told Lorne Michaels that he wanted him off the show. Howard figured Lorne was lying and he was actually the one who wanted him off the show.
Norm couldn't believe that Lorne would want him off the show. Howard said that guy runs the show though, so he has to be the guy who makes that decision. Howard figured Norm was blind to all of that. Norm couldn't believe that Lorne didn't want him there and it had to be that Don Ohlmyer guy. Norm said he called Don and he was told that he didn't want him doing Weekend Update anymore. Norm said he was told that Update was dragging down the show so they wanted him out. He told them that if they wanted him to be better, he couldn't do it. He asked Don if the decision was coming from him or not. Don took the blame but it sounded like he was taking the blame for other people.
Chaunce Hayden called in and said he heard that the firing had something to do with a Rolling Stone cover. Norm was left off the cover as well as a few others. There may have been some resentment from the other people in the cast. Norm said the reason he wasn't in that picture was because he didn't want to do some stuff they wanted him to. He said he told them he didn't want to do the goofy stuff so he was left out of some of the pictures. He didn't want to look like a jackass.
Howard said he read an article about why Norm got fired and they were saying that one of the last straws may have been his decision to host a show that was going to be on ABC while SNL is on NBC. Norm said that's not true because Lorne was the one who asked him if he wanted to do that show. Chaunce said that Norm also plays football in the halls at NBC and it can get pretty brutal up there. Norm said that's true but the story is kind of boring. Howard said Chaunce knew way too much about other people's lives so he let him go a short time later.
Norm said that he heard Colin Quinn is going to be replacing him. He said he really enjoyed doing that Weekend Update thing but figured this discussion was kind of boring. Howard said he was enjoying it though. A woman called in and said that Norm really was the best on that show. She thought he was great doing stand-up and what he was doing on SNL. Another guy called in and said that Norm should get out of there and just move on. Another guy said that Norm let the F-word slip out last year so maybe that had something to do with it. Norm said if that was the case, they would have fired him right then instead of waiting a year before letting him go.
Howard said he couldn't get a read on Norm today and wondered what was up with him. Norm talked about how he really didn't enjoy doing some of the stuff on the show like characters. He said sometimes he'd have to play the part of the scientist who discovered Monkey Boy or something. That's the kind of crap he didn't like. Howard talked about how they repeat characters and sketches a lot on that show and the burn them out. Norm said that's why he wanted to stop doing his Letterman bits. He did it once and wanted to move on.
Howard told Norm that if he goes up against SNL doing a show of his own, he'll have Norm on to do a Weekend Update on that. Norm said that he doesn't have a problem with Don Ohlmyer but Howard found that hard to believe. He said the guy called him and told him he wasn't funny. Norm said the guy has gone through a lot of crap in his career and he figures the guy isn't that bad. Howard asked Norm if he wants him to call Don Ohlmyer and ask for his job back. Norm said that would be fine. He said his assistant might have his phone number.
Norm mentioned that he brought along his friend Artie Lange who got fired from MAD TV. He said the guy is a great guy but he's crazy. Artie came in a short time later so Howard said hello to him and asked about the MAD TV firing. Artie said the story was pretty long but Norm told it really well. Norm told the story and said that Artie was working on the show and Quincy Jones brought the crew out to Vegas to see a Tyson fight. It turns out Artie is a compulsive gambler. Norm said he and Artie have that in common. Norm said he bets on a lot of sports stuff. Artie said he gets a lot of good tips from Norm.
Artie said that Norm has lost a lot of money on gambling. Norm got back to the story about Artie going to Vegas with Quincy Jones and the guys from MAD TV. He said Artie bet a ton of money, $15,000, on Tyson and lost it. He went to try and win it back in the casinos but lost another five grand. Then he did a bunch of coke and beat up his manager and then got thrown in jail. Artie ended up in jail and then went to rehab. Howard wondered if all fat guys were on coke or something. Norm said Artie got fired from the show and ended up going back to New Jersey to be a cab driver.
Artie said he's doing okay now, he's not a cab driver anymore. He said he didn't have a big coke problem, but about once a month he'd disappear for like 4 days. He said he had a lot of problems and was drinking and doing coke while he was on that show. It would always go bad for him though. Norm said Artie ended up going to jail and they put a special thing on you in the L.A. County jail marking them as a celebrity, a snitch or a murderer. He said he was marked but no one recognized him so they didn't know if he was a murderer or not. Artie said he didn't know why the band was on him so this Hispanic guy was telling him about what it could mean.
Artie talked about being strip searched and told Howard about how he found out about the red band. Someone was amazed when they found out he was on MAD TV. Artie said there was one guy who actually recognized him from MAD TV so that was really embarrassing to him. Norm kept giving more details about this story so Artie asked what happened to calling Don Ohlmyer. Howard told him he was more interesting and there was no way they were going to get through to Don.
Artie talked about some of the experiences he had on MAD TV. He told a story about how he was asked to clean up from the coke one day on the set and when he went back, after doing more coke, they had a bit of an intervention with him. He said he got all paranoid from the drugs he had done. Norm said Artie always pretends he's not on coke but when they were getting him for this movie they shot, they hired him and went out to shoot pool and he noticed that Artie was trying to score some drugs off of some Mexican guys. Artie said they still hired him after that so Norm is a good dude.
Artie said he's feeling much better now and he's back in show business thanks to Norm. They did this movie ''Dirty Work'' and he thinks it's funny. Howard asked him about beating up his manager since Norm had mentioned that. Artie said that this will never happen to him again... unless he's faced with some sort of reality. He said he hasn't even been betting for a long time now.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks the Norm firing thing is a publicity stunt. Norm assured him that it wasn't though. Howard talked about how he was accused of the same thing when he was fired from WNBC years ago. He said that people thought he was pulling something back then. Artie told Howard that he's a legend but Howard told Artie that he's one after telling those stories he told.
Howard let another guy rip on Norm for a minute. He said he hates Norm on SNL. Another guy called in and said that Norm is the only thing on that show that made it worth watching. Howard took a few more calls and let some people comment on Norm and Artie. One guy said Artie was the reason that he watched MAD TV. Artie seemed to be surprised by that comment. Howard said he had to get going because they hadn't broken in a while. He told Norm he was going to try and call Don but he didn't think he'd pick up. Gary told him he tried to call and all he got was voice mail at NBC out on the West Coast.
Howard wished Norm and Artie luck with their new movie. He heard that Bob Saget had directed it but didn't seem to know what to say about that. Norm told Howard that his career is going just great, he was just fired from SNL and Bob Saget had directed his movie. Howard wrapped up with them and went to commercial break.
Robin read through a bunch of news stories while Al threw in some comments as Mya. Howard asked her to read some poetry so he did that for a few seconds before Howard had Robin get back to her news. She finished up her stories and Howard ended the show around 11:10am (Master Tape Theatre time).