-- Friday January 30, 1998 --
- New Station Added - WNAP 93.1 Indianapolis Indiana! 1/30/98. 6:00am
Howard made 2 quick mentions of this new station during the big birthday show. As of today WNAP 93.1 in Indianapolis is broadcasting Howard's show. Welcome people of Indianapolis!
- The Howard Stern Birthday Show. 1/30/98. 6am to 7am
Well the show finally happened, only 2 and half weeks late! Howard was surprised when he was brought to the Hammerstein Ballroom last night for the surprise birthday show. Yes that's right, they taped the show last night and played it this morning. The show was somewhat edited for this morning. From what a certain DJ on K-Rock told me, some songs may have been edited out of the broadcast this morning. The show was exactly 4 hours this morning and they were playing some bits during the show that kind of broke it up. It's better when they do it live. Anyway I've broken down today's broadcast into hourly segments to make it easier to read. Here's what happened between 6 and 7: Howard came in surprised, said he thought he was going to a meeting with CBS but his agent brought him to the party instead. Howard talked to a couple of wack pack members. The first guest, New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, wished Howard a happy birthday. He gave Howard a Rudy Tie and a Rudy scarf for Robin. Howard talked to his Mother. Howard accepted gifts from a couple of sponsors like Brother International, Heinekin Beer and Fidelity Diamond. Howard talked to Crackhead Bob who said his wedding is off for now. His fiance wants him to be George instead of Crackhead Bob and she doesn't want the rest of the wack pack at the wedding. Howard also spoke to Lonny Hanover from Scores. He called Lonny the most important guest at the party. A pregnant Sandra Bernhard came in to wish Howard a happy birthday. Howard had heard rumors about Sandra being pregnant and they turned out to be true. She wouldn't tell Howard who the father is though.
- The Howard Stern Birthday Show. 1/30/98. 7am to 8am
Evan the 16 year old kid who runs Bumble Bee tuna came in to give Howard his gifts. New York Governor George Pataki visited. Sponsors Modell's Sporting Goods and Snapple gave Howard some gifts. Glen Foley, quarterback for the New York Jets, made a quick visit. Howard talked quickly to Slow Adam, Big Blackie and the Scores girls. Another big surprise this morning was the return of 'Gina Man and Crazy Jerry. These two maniacs haven't been on the show in years. Howard seemed pretty surprised to see them. He asked where 'Gina Man had been. He said that he had a fractured skull or something like that.
- The Howard Stern Birthday Show. 1/30/98. 8am to 9am
Howard talked quickly to Fred's wife Alison, Stuttering John's wife Suzanna and his own wife Alison. He talked to Nicole Bass who said she's become a professional wrestler. 'Gina Man made some more wacky comments. Howard talked to Hank The Angry Dwarf. Hank was drunk so they gave him a breathalyzer test. For some reason they had the breathalyzer right there. After a couple of tries the 4'1'' dwarf finally blew a .256! That's 2 ½ times the legal limit in New York! Good thing he doesn't drive! Hanks face was all beat up and it turns out he fell down a flight of stairs the night before. Dominic Barbara made a quick appearance. David Bowie performed ''Fame'' and ''I'm Afraid Of Americans''. Howard told Bowie that the first gift his wife bought for him was a Bowie album. Howard was amazed and thrilled by Bowie's appearance. Howard accepted a gift from Maxim Magazine. Eddie and Alex Van Halen were live by satellite to talk with Howard. Eddie and Alex spent a few minutes trying to understand what Howard was saying to them through a small speaker. Eddie said his birthday was this past Monday. Eddie also keeps claiming that David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar both quit the band, they weren't thrown out like they keep saying.
- The Howard Stern Birthday Show. 1/30/98. 9am to 10am
Sponsor Ranch One Chicken gave a gift to Howard. They offered a trip anywhere in the United States for Howard's wife and kids so Howard can be home alone. Howard's wife was talking to some of the Scores girls. He said that his two worlds aren't supposed to collide like that. Howard talked to his sister Ellen. She said that she loves him and he's the best brother in the world. Howard talked to Colt 40-Feinberg. Cold Ease said their gift, an Armani statue, was on it's way. Howard talked to Uzo and her girlfriend. Uzo said she spends tons of money on her new girlfriend. She spent $10,000 shopping for her yesterday. Howard talked to Ratso Sloman and 'Gina Man again. 'Gina Man said he's sorry Jackie is back. Slomin's Alarm gave Howard a gift. Megadeath performed ''Trust''. Lead singer Dave Mustaine talked to Howard for a little while. He talked about being in rehab 15 times and how his wife just gave birth to a baby girl yesterday. That pretty much ended the show...
For more ''inside'' information from the birthday show you may want to check out The Interactive King Of All Media Newsletter.
-- Thursday January 29, 1998 --
- Gary's Revenge On Sal The Stockbroker. 1/29/98. 6:15am
Sal the Stockbroker is this guy who makes phony phone calls to Gary calling him a ''Horse toothed jackass''. Gary got the chance to get back at Sal yesterday. Howard had Stuttering John call Sal and tell him that Howard wanted to talk to him. Howard got on the phone and told Sal that he'd like to give him a job doing phony phone calls for the show. Howard played it straight and Sal was going for it. Then Howard told him to hold on so he could put Gary on the phone to let him know when he could start. Gary got on the phone and told Sal that he would forget about what had happened in the past. Then he tells him that he can start ''..February 34th.. you HORSE TOOTHED JACKASS...'' So Gary managed to get a little bit of revenge on Sal. After Howard played the tape he had Sal on the phone. He was still goofing on Gary more than ever. He was making fun of his teeth and breath and all of that good stuff. Gary tried to keep up with the insults by rubbing it in that he'd never work for the show. Sal hung in there and relentlessly goofed on Gary.
- Sweaty Spice, The Lost Spice Girl. 1/29/98. 7:20am
A woman came in as ''Sweaty Spice'', a Spice Girl who was kicked out of the group. This was a goof of course.. The woman had a really annoying British accent and she yelled a lot. She went on to explain why they call her ''Sweaty''. It's because she doesn't bathe and the sweat in her ass makes her stink. She also said that the Spice Girls changed their nick names from Stink Hole Spice, Whore Face Spice, Hose Bag Spice, Anal Baby and Dyke-a-licious Spice to whatever the hell they're called today. She said that she has dingleberries the size of Ho-Ho's and that creates the ''Girl Power'' that the Spice Girls are always talking about.
- Howard Talks To Geraldo. 1/29/98. 7:45am
Howard and Robin were talking about how they saw that Geraldo did the eulogy for Katie Couric's dead husband the other day. Howard wanted to find out how and why Geraldo got to do that. Geraldo got on the phone after his wife woke him up. Howard wasn't goofing on the death because the guy left 2 young kids behind. He died from colon cancer at the age of 42. Geraldo explained that he had become friends with Katie's husband about 4 years ago and they'd become close in that time. That led to his eulogy for the guy. Howard and Geraldo also spent a little bit of time talking about President Clinton and about the fact that Geraldo is like the second highest paid guy at NBC.
- Fabio Comes In. 1/29/98. 8:05am
Yesterday Howard was talking about how he had been watching a case Court TV where Fabio was being sued by some woman. He said that he felt sorry for Fabio because his accent made him come off kind of dumb in the court case. Well Fabio won the case and came in this morning to discuss it with Howard. A woman was trying to sue him for $6 Million over some piece of paper he'd signed years ago. It wasn't a contract. It was just an agreement that never amounted to anything. He won the case and was thrilled about it today. A little while into the interview Fabio's old manager Peter called in. He had some things to say about the testimony Fabio had given on Court TV. He wanted Fabio to straighten it out but Fabio didn't know what he was talking about. The two of them went at it for about 25 minutes. They didn't get anywhere and it sounds like this Peter guy is also going to take Fabio to court. It was all one big mess for about a half hour. Peter was accusing Fabio of all kinds of stuff and Fabio was accusing Peter of more stuff.. what a nightmare. It lasted way too long but it was sort of interesting.
-- Wednesday January 28, 1998 --
- Surprise! The JokeMan Returns! 1/28/98. 6:25am
Just before Howard took his first commercial break around 6:10 he said something about ''..the return of JokeMan..'' When they came back from commercial he announced that Jackie has worked out things with the company and has come back to work. Howard said he knew Jackie was back by the smell of alcohol in the studio. Things were back to normal and Howard didn't spend much time on the subject. A few callers welcomed Jackie back when they got through. This should cut my e-mails in half!
- Entertainment Weekly's Movie List. 1/28/98. 6:30am
Howard was reading Entertainment Weekly and found a list of movies that came out in 1997. They listed how much each movie made. There were over 140 movies listed and ''Private Parts'' came out number 51. The movie made over $40 million at the box office in the U.S. and did quite well in video rentals. After all of that and the USA Network purchase for the rights to air it on cable the movie has done over $80 Million. Not bad for Howard's first movie. ''Private Parts'' will be airing on HBO starting in February. The video tape also goes on sale for $14.95 starting in February.
- Melrose Larry Green Bores Us Once Again. 1/28/98. 8:35am
Melrose Larry is claiming that he's opening up for comedian Jackie Mason tonight at a 4000 seat show. Howard and Robin don't believe him. Howard let Melrose come on the air for a few minutes to talk about it but he got off the subject immediately. Melrose started to welcome Jackie back but Howard stopped him to get him back on the subject of Jackie Mason. Melrose was doing some of his horrible jokes for Howard but they were just plain dumb. How Jackie Mason thinks this guy is funny is beyond me. Luckily Howard didn't stick with Melrose too long. Melrose said he'd be taping his opening act so Howard can hear it. Great, another bore-fest when he calls in with that crap.
- David Spade Comes In. 1/28/98. 8:45am
David Spade came in to hang out and plug a few things today. David was one of Chris Farley's best friends and everyone was surprised that he didn't show up at the funeral. Howard was wondering about that also so he tried to find out why. David kind of avoided answering it directly a couple of times. He explained how he and Chris had pretty much gone their separate ways in the past couple of years. He hated to see Chris doing what he was doing to himself. David also said that he thinks Chris had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Chris did some strange things when they worked together. David said that Chris would have to touch the ground a certain number of times before doing a scene. David thinks that Chris drank heavily for attention. Howard had to take a break in the middle of the interview.After the break they came back and Howard was saying how David talks about women when they're not on the air. David wasn't talking much about women before the break but during it he was saying how good looking the ''Ally McBeal'' chick is. After the break David still didn't want to talk about women much. Eventually he did get around to answering the question about why he wasn't at the funeral. He explained how his best friend died when he was 21 and it freaked him out. He thought that going to Chris' funeral would do the same thing so he didn't go. Howard asked him where he was when he heard about Chris' death. David was at work on the NBC sitcom ''Just Shoot Me''. He said he had to walk off the set when he heard. He cried for about 20 minutes. Howard chimed in with a ''AHAGGOT'' when he heard that. He had to lighten up the mood. David went back to work the next day. Before David left Howard had to meet his publicist Mariessa. She was really hot according to Gary and Howard. Here's what David was plugging today... He stars in ''Just Shoot Me'' on NBC Tuesday nights at 9:30, he's got a movie coming out February 20 called ''Senseless'' with Marlon Wayans and he'll be filming an HBO special in his home town of Phoenix AZ sometime soon.
- President Clinton Sits In During The News. 1/28/98. 9:55am
Howard had a guy pretending to be President Clinton sit in during the news for a while. Howard talked to him for a short period of time before the news but the guy couldn't read his script. It was pretty funny but this President Clinton crap is really wearing thin.
-- Tuesday January 27, 1998 --
- Tattoo Talk/When Will Steve Grillo Finally Leave? 1/27/98. 7:45am
Yesterday Howard mentioned that he wanted to get another tattoo this past weekend. The only problem was that his tattoo artist, Sean Vasquez, wasn't at the shop. Sean called in today to apologize for not being there. He was at a tattoo convention down south. Howard said he wants to get another one done, maybe this coming weekend. This discussion led to Howard talking to Steve Grillo about his horrible tattoo. They also mentioned that Scott Einziger from E! just got one that wraps around his arm.Since Steve Grillo was in the studio Howard decided to talk about what's happening with him. Grillo was supposed to be quitting his job and heading to Los Angeles to pursue a career in the movie business. He was supposed to be gone by the middle of the month. Now it turns out that he's going to be around until February 13. Gary explained how he's already hired a new guy who is supposed to start tomorrow but Grillo is staying longer than anticipated. Gary told Grillo that he wasn't pushing him to leave but they have to move on. Grillo just wants to stay on because something new has come up. He's going to be a Casting Director(!) for an independent film called ''Keep The Change''. Howard can't believe that Grillo, who's still getting Howard's breakfast, is going to be a casting director with no experience. Grillo is going to study in the month and a half that he has between jobs. He doesn't even know how much money he's going to get from this new job. Anything is better than what he made working at WXRK. He said he made about $9000 there last year. He made up for that in personal appearances though. He made about $30,000 total.
- Gary Garber Interviews From American Music Awards. 1/27/98. 8:25am
Gary Garber from KLSX in Los Angeles went to The American Music Awards last night and got a couple of celebrity interviews. He got Boyz 2 Men, Tricia Yearwood, Julio Iglacias, Bone Thugs & Harmony, Tony Bennett, Drew Carrey and Puff Daddy. He asked Boyz 2 Men questions like ''Did you know you spelled 'boys' wrong?'', ''Do you have a large gay following?'' and ''Is the Pope evil?''. The guys hung in there and answered the questions without getting too upset. Tricia Yearwood was a little different. Here's an example ''Is country music music to lynch people by?''. Gary got off a couple more but the last one mentioned farting and off she went. Julio Iglacias didn't last too long with the questions because he said he didn't understand them. Here's what was asked ''Why is your son so jealous of you?'' and ''Should the Pope be condemned for criticizing the United States?'' Julio went running off faster than Tricia Yearwood. Bone Thugs & Harmony stuck around for a couple of lame questions. Tony Bennett was asked about the President Clinton situation and he just said that they should ''..leave him alone..'' then he walked away. The strangest things offend people don't they? Drew Carrey was up next. Gary asked him ''Why are there so few blacks on your sitcom?'' and ''Have you ever been hit on by a gay guy?'' Drew answered them okay but when Gary asked ''Would you ever have sex with a man if it would help your career?'' Drew got a little ticked off and said ''Bye''. Puff Daddy didn't say a word in his interview. Gary asked him a bizarre question about agreeing with something Chuck D said in his book. It was a really strange question and Puff Daddy didn't answer it. Well, that was it for those interviews.
- Actor Robert Duvall Comes In. 1/27/98. 8:35am
The way Howard was talking about Robert Duvall you'd think he was in love with him. He kissed his ass like you wouldn't believe. Howard thinks that Robert Duvall is ''a real actor''. He was amazed that the actor came on the show. There was a good reason for it though. Mr. Duvall put up close to $5 million for his own movie. The movie company that bought the film probably wanted as much exposure as possible so they booked him on the show. The movie, ''The Apostle'', starts this Friday. Howard said that he watched the movie yesterday and really liked it. Mr. Duvall wrote the movie 13 years ago and finally had the chance to bring it to life. Howard and Robert spent at least 45 minutes talking non-stop. Duvall seemed to be enjoying the interview. He was telling Howard that he was at the White House this weekend showing the movie to President Clinton. He didn't talk to the President about all of the stuff that's been going on with him though. Howard wanted to find out what Robert thought of some actors so he read off a bunch of names. He wanted Duvall to give a 1 to 10 rating but he didn't want to do that. He would just say ''talented'' or ''good director'' for each. Here are some of the actors Howard brought up.
- Nicholas Cage - Okay
- Robert Dinero - Great
- Jody Foster - Talented
- Jack Nicolson - Talented
- Woody Allen - Good director
- Billy Crystal - Funny guy
- Cher - Alright
It was obvious that he didn't want to bad mouth anyone in the business. But then they got on the subject of France. Howard has talked about how he dislikes the French. Robert also made it clear that he doesn't think too highly of them. At one point he said ''Screw 'em!.. They remind me of Germans with style..''
- It's Over Jackie. 1/27/98. 9:35am
A caller asked Howard about an article that appeared in the New York Times this past weekend. It said something about Jackie re-signing with the show and coming back. Well Howard said that it looks like it wasn't true and as far as he knows, the negotiations are off. If that's true then it looks like Jackie won't be back. I get a lot of e-mails here from people who have e-mailed Jackie and they all get a form letter back saying ''Stay tuned, It's not over'' or something like that ... That's not what Howard hears.
- Why Howard's Not Broadcasting On The Web. 1/27/98. 9:45am
Everyone on the web wants to know.. ''Is there anyone broadcasting Howard's show on the web?'' Well, someone finally asked Howard about it on the air today. He said that he will not be broadcasting the show over the web. He gets paid to broadcast on the radio and if the show were broadcast on the web then no one would want to pay him. Howard said that he's had some sites closed down because they were broadcasting his show illegally over the web. If you can't hear a radio signal broadcasting Howard's show then you're out of luck.
-- Monday January 26, 1998 --
- Howard Loses Big On Super Bowl. 1/26/98. 6:05am
Howard came out the big loser in the Super Bowl bets from last Friday. He said he lost about $450 or so on the many bets he'd made last week. He lost just about bet he made. Even the coin toss he got screwed out of. Stuttering John made out a little bit better. He won about $250 or so. Howard was pretty upset about losing but he paid up. Actually he gave his money to Stuttering John to dole out to the winners but John left the cash lying on a counter top out in the open somewhere. Steve Grillo found it and told Howard. Nothing came of it but it was a really stupid thing to do. If you'd like to see how the bets were set check out this web site: members.tripod.com/~lizzland/superbowl.html
- Jay Leno Calls In. 1/26/98. 6:20am
Jay Leno called in to wish Howard a happy birthday a couple of weeks late. Normally Jay is the first caller on Howard's surprise birthday show that Robin throws. Jay was acting like there was no surprise show this week. He and Howard spoke for a little bit about the President Clinton situation. Jay also asked Howard when he was going to be starting his Saturday night show on CBS. Howard is still saying that there's nothing happening at this time. He's had talks with the CBS people but nothing has been set. I guess there's still hope that he'll have a network show sometime in the future.
- Howard's Daughter Turns 5. 1/26/98. 6:50am
Ashley, Howard's youngest daughter, had a birthday party on Saturday. I don't know why I'm even including this here but I guess if you're keeping track of birthdays on the show, this is another one you can add to your list. Howard said that they had a Barbie impersonator and a magician at the party. He also said that there were bunch of hot young mothers there with their kids.
- Howard Kicks Kathie Lee's Ass In Celebrity Deathmatch '98. 1/26/98. 6:55am
During the Super Bowl halftime there was a special claymation show called ''Celebrity Deathmatch '98''. There were a few wrestling matches between celebrities like Howard vs Kathie Lee, Pamela Lee vs Rupaul and Hanson vs The Spice Girls. The first match was between Howard and Kathie Lee. Howard heard about this last week and said that he'd better win against Kathie Lee otherwise it was a bogus show. The clay fighters didn't exactly look like the celebrities they were portraying but it was still very entertaining. Howard played the tape of the match on the air this morning. At first Howard starts getting his ass kicked by Kathie Lee. Then his glasses get knocked off and he accidentally backhand's Kathie Lee. She comes back from behind and puts him in a bear hug. Howard now has her on his back. He bends forward lifting her off the canvas. She keeps squeezing him. He tells her that he has a sensitive bowel and warns her to get off. She's telling him to apologize to her and Frank for all the comments he's made. Then Howard blasts a fart and blows her right through the ropes and out into the crowd. Howard says ''I am the king damn it!'' then Kathie Lee crawls back into the ring. Howard then fires off another fart from his ''Sphincter-cannon''. A gaseous green cloud floats over to Kathie Lee and she melts down to nothing. Then the audience starts puking from the smell. The voice of Howard was done by this guy Elan Gold who has done impressions of Howard in the past. Elan called in and talked about the voice thing. He said he only made about $750 for doing the voice but he figured that since it was Super Bowl haftime it would be a good career move.
- The Kielbasa Queen Comes In. 1/26/98. 8:15am
If you saw ''Private Parts'' you might remember the woman who shoved the 12 inch kielbasa down her throat. If you didn't see it, you're missing quite a show. She and her friend came in to plug their new web site www.kqueen.com. The two women said that they have some very interesting video stuff on the site. The only thing is that it's a pay site. Kielbasa Queen's friend, Deep Throat Dallas, also has a talent for putting things down her throat that just don't belong there. She's able to put half of a 4 foot balloon down there without choking on it. She demonstrated it for Howard and he seemed pretty impressed by it. ''Oh my god, that's amazing'' is what he said when she shoved the balloon down. One of the things available on the site is video of one of them shooting a hot dog into the other's mouth from an area that hot dogs just don't belong. Maybe it's worth the admission.. K. Queen and D.T. Dallas also said that they're bi-sexual and share a man.
- Dick Clark Calls In. 1/26/98. 8:45am
68 year old Dick Clark called in to plug ''The American Music Awards'' today. Dick calls in each year to plug this show for some reason. He usually spends most of the phone call trying not to answer any of Howard's crude questions. Well it was no different today. Dick just wanted to get his plug in but Howard kept after Dick about his penis size and about the President Clinton thing. Dick won't bad mouth anyone. He managed to avoid giving a straight answer to Howard. At one point Howard thought Dick had hung up on him but he didn't. Dick then brought up the fact that he did have to hang up on a Stern-like DJ who asked him something ridiculous. Howard wanted to know what it was that the DJ had asked him but Dick wouldn't say. Howard kept asking and asking but Dick wouldn't get into it. They did end up making an agreement by the end of the phone call though. Dick says that Michael Bolton will be performing some nutty thing on the awards show tonight. If Bolton doesn't get a standing ovation then Dick has to call in and tell Howard what that other DJ said to him. Howard is sure that Bolton won't get a standing ovation. Robin is behind Howard in this also. She's seen Michael Bolton do this thing and she said ''..it's death..''.
- Male Prostitute Who Sells His Pubic Hair Calls In. 1/26/98. 9:50am
Another wacky story from a wacky listener.. A guy claiming to be a male prostitute told Howard that he has a guy come to him with a very strange fetish. He collects pubic hair. I couldn't get all of the details about this story because the delay was hit a few times during the phone call. I guess it was getting a little too graphic for Tom Chiusano. From what I could gather, it sounds like this guy with the fetish has the male prostitute plucking pubic hairs out with tweezers. There's some weird stuff going on out there.
