| Monday | Tuesday |
|
|
| Wednesday | Thursday |
|
|
| Friday | |
|
|
Howard said Tina died over their vacation. He said she's no longer around. Robin said she did a documentary and it was really like a goodbye to her fans. She said she got to say goodbye.
Howard said he should say a few things about her since he brought her up. He said she died while they were on break. He said they didn't give a cause of death but then they tell you way too many details about her death. Robin was talking about all of the issues she had so that could have been the cause.
Howard said they called her the queen of Rock and Roll. He said he's not sure who named her that. He said you just name yourself and it sticks. He said that might be what happened there.
Howard said Ike Turner was such a controlling mother fucker. He said Tina had her revenge after leaving him and had a bigger career without him. He said that was her revenge. Robin said some people said that she was the abuser in that relationship. Howard said he'd like to meet who wrote that. He said maybe it was OJ. That led to Fred playing some OJ clips and Howard talked to them about the Tina thing.
Howard said Tina had a big career. He said her real name was what. Robin gave the right answer of Anna Mae Bullock. Howard gave a bunch of stats about Tina.
Howard was doing his OJ impression talking about the Ike and Tina relationship too. He said Tina was from a small town and she met a band leader of a local band named Ike Turner. He said he was impressed with her singing and he put her on a record label. He said she was just 17 when they recorded their first song. He played some of that song.
Howard said Tina was Little Ann on those albums. He said they liked her so much that Ike gave her a new name of Tina Turner. He said he built the act around her. He said then the Rolling Stones had them open up for them. He said Tina convinced Ike to get into rock music. He said she covered some rock songs. He played some examples. He said the big break through was the cover of ''Proud Mary'' and it became huge. He played some of that.
Howard said he asked John Fogerty about that cover and he liked it. He played some of that interview where John talked about that.
Howard said Ike was having some problems in the 1970s and Tina left him after a fight. He said she claims to have had just 36 cents to her name at the time. He said she had to fight him in court over her name. He said they had Ike on the show in 1993. He said he did acknowledge there was violence and he knows she had to leave. Howard had some audio from that 1993 interview. Fred played some OJ clips where he was complimenting that clip.
Howard said John Fogerty dedicated a concert to Tina last week. He said some others have been paying tribute to her lately in their concerts too.
Howard said that Tina was on Hollywood Squares and the host had trouble saying Tina without mentioning Ike. He played some examples of that. He had one from Hollywood Squares where Peter Marshall made that mistake. Howard said it's very odd to see a faux pas from someone like Peter Marshall. Robin said he did know they were divorced.
Howard said back in 1993 she did a cover of ''Lets Stay Together'' and that led to another hit song. He played some of that song. He said there you go. He said that song was a surprise hit. He said she didn't need Ike. He said that album was huge. He said she was a sex symbol after that and she was in her 40s.
Howard played a clip of Tina talking about her comeback from CBS News. She talked about how hard things were for her being black and doing rock songs.
Howard said Robin must remember how hard Fred fought Tina on playing rock songs. He said she said she can't be rock because she's black. Fred played along with that bit for a few seconds.
Howard said Private Dancer was another hit for Tina. He played some of that song. He said that's Ronnie's favorite song since it's about a stripper. He said that was written by Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. He and Fred talked about that and said that Jeff Beck played guitar on that song. Fred said that she did not like the song ''What's Love Got to Do With It.''
Howard said Tina was in some movies did a lot of other things. He said she got the Kennedy Center Honors award. He said she had some career.
Howard said Tina got to inspire a lot of rock artists. He said she inspired some Robin song parodies. He said that these are some examples. Howard played a few song parodies that people did about Robin to Tina Turner songs.
Howard said those are beautiful Robin songs. He said rest in peace Tina. He said he was speaking to a record company guy once about Pat Monahan from Train and he remembers thinking about how talented Pat is and how they hadn't had a hit in a while. He said this record company guy said it was over for them. He said the guy was wrong. He said they came back with a bunch of hits. He said that story sticks with him. He said it's like movie guys that said that you can't have a slow build with a movie. He said if you don't make it after your first weekend you're fucked. He said that there are certain rules they go by. He said there are some bands who came back after they were dead. He said Aerosmith came back. He said they were a great band and they could have lived off their early albums. He said then they came back in the 90s with a bunch of hit songs. He said it was mind blowing. Robin said there are exceptions to the rules.
Howard said rest in peace Tina. He said who knows where she is. Robin said she said she was going to heaven so she's going with her.
Howard said he can't be the only one having this problem. Robin said that they may not be in control over their content like Netflix is. Howard said Disney+ works well and the Max app works well.
Gary said he has had issues with the Paramount+ app too. He said that Netflix is always flawless. Howard said he's right.
Howard said he and Beth love these Hallmark movies. He said they got these suggestions for movies and they suggested ''The Choice.'' He said he thought they had seen this already. He said he told Beth that and she didn't remember. He said he thinks that they saw it and he explained the movie to her. He told Robin the plot of the movie. He said they're laying there watching it and they didn't stop. He said they love teen girl movies like that. He said they were so happy watching it that they stayed up late. He said he was up until 10 watching it. He said it was one of the best movies they've ever seen and Robin would throw up watching it.
Howard said he's not sure how more guys don't watch this stuff. He said he loves romance. He said that he loves the break up and get back together again movies. He said this one came out in 2016. He said he and Beth laid there and talked about how they'd watch it again in a year. He said Beth said she'd watch it again tonight. He said that he said he'd do the same.
Howard said the girl in the movie was very good and she's now married with 5 kids and 32 or something. He said the guy in it didn't go on to do much of anything. He said Tom Welling from Smallville was in it too. He said that dude bulked up. He said he's like a brick shit house now. He said he was more handsome when he wasn't so big. He said he looks a little odd now. He said that's just his opinion.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's got all the apps and they're a mess now. Howard said most of the apps work well though. He said he has nothing against Paramount but they have to fix that app. The caller said he had the same problem with his downloads.
Howard said don't send him an email there's a problem and then not be able to fix it. He said they say if you're obese that they'll send you one right away. He said Mike Trainor got one right away. He said he should be up on that list. Mike said it was almost insulting how fast he got his. He said he's 6'4'' and that might have something to do with it. He said that they say members who are over 250 pounds and over 5'10'' tall have a higher priority. He said he did tell them that he's 6'5'' though. Robin asked if Mike was over 250. Mike said hew was up around 280 at one point. He said he's down to about 240 now.
Howard said he hasn't gotten his seat yet. He said he's in group 1. He said they say that he was supposed to get it June 2nd. He said he never got it. He said they were supposed to get him one to shut him up. He said that they're so stupid over there that they don't know that he's on the radio. Robin said that's why the company is in trouble. He said they tell you that the seat may kill you but they won't send it for 5 years.
Howard said he was on the air talking about how great the bikes were and there were people thinking he was a shill for the company. He said they called him elitist for having a Peloton. He said he didn't know that was elitist. He said that company is being run so poorly that they're sending Mike Trainor the seat before him.
Howard said it's been nice having a break from the Peloton. He said he may just throw it out. Robin asked how you know the new seat won't kill you. Mike said it's been good for him so far.
Howard said they have some weird things going on there. He said they try to build a community there so they let you ''high five'' other riders. He said you can hit this hand and it high fives other riders. He said that he has no idea who these maniacs are but they high five him. He asked how awful your life has to be to request high fives back. He said this thing pops up on the screen and it's so annoying. He said he's looking at the instructors tits and this stuff pops up. He wondered who this asshole is requesting this stuff.
Howard said he's such an angry guy that he thinks about what kind of awful person this is. He said that he will hit the thing and then it goes away but then someone else does it. He said you slow down to do it too. He said you have to put some thought into it. He said they should give you a ''fuck you'' option on the screen. Robin said the reason you ride these things is because you don't want to be around other people. She said it doesn't make sense.
Howard said please don't high five him. He said he was thinking about what kind of human being has to ask for a high five. He asked if he's really that damaged. He said that they're reaching out through Peloton to make friends. He said you have to be really damaged.
Howard said these companies have a recall and they just say they'll get you a new seat at some point. Robin said they're saying you won't break the bike if you're average size.
Howard said he's on satellite radio now and if he was on regular radio people would snap to. He said that he paid for his bike at full price too. He said that it may kill you but there's no rush. He said that he doesn't want to see their commercials anymore until they fix the seats. He said that has to stop.
Howard said no high fives until he gets his new seat. He said let the rest of the losers wait. Robin said maybe Mike should send him his seat. Mike said he'd like them to notify you when someone's seat breaks. He said that would be better than the high five.
Howard said he can imagine the headlines when he impales himself on this thing. He said Gary was told he won't get a seat until November. He said he's not worried about getting impaled. Gary said 32 people out of 2 million got impaled. He said he's not worried. Howard said he's not fat but he is 200 pounds and 6'5'' on that bike. He said that's a bit of heft.
Howard said how about letting the instructors show their belly buttons. He said that he likes Hannah Corbin and you know she's dying to show her stomach. He said they have to wear conservative outfits. He said they have to cover their belly button. He said that's not that hot. He said he thinks it's hard for her to cover up. Mike said he thinks a lot of them were dancers before. He said now they're instructors. Howard said he could fix that company real quick.
Jason said that a lot of their staffers went and they all cried. He said one of the staffers said it was a spiritual thing for her. Howard asked why she didn't tour for 4 years. He asked if Michelle is comfortable coming on air to talk about it. Jason said he'd have to ask. He said she's going to pop on.
Michelle came on so Howard asked why she didn't tour for 4 years. Michelle said it was because of COVID. Howard said he'd like to interview Taylor but she won't come on. Michelle said she would be a great get. Howard asked her what her favorite songs are. Michelle rattled off a few.
Robin asked when she started to cry at the concert. Michelle said it was the second song ''Cruel Summer''. Howard went through some of the songs and played some. He told Michelle not to cry.
Howard said Taylor does a 3 hour and 20 minute concert non stop. He said she's like Springsteen.
Howard said they had concert coverage non stop in New Jersey. He played some news reports about the concert.
Howard said people were so emotional about this concert that they can't stop crying. He had a guy on the phone who was still crying days after the concert. Howard went along with that bit for a short time.
Howard said Jon Hein is really into Taylor Swift. He said he used to take his kids to see her and now he's a fan. Jon said he took them to 4 shows. He said they were comparing her to Springsteen. He said that her fans are just as devoted. He said that she did 45 songs at her show. He said that people do get emotional about it. He said he likes her older stuff better than the newer stuff.
Howard played Jon Hein singing a Taylor Swift song. He said if he ever gets her in there he wants him to duet with her. Jon said he would do that. He said he didn't shed a tear at the concert but it was really good. He said that it's an amazing concert experience.
Howard said one of the staffers waited 3 hours in line to get merch. Jon said his kids weren't able to get merch. He said there are some who go there just for that and they can't get it.
Howard asked Michelle how bad the bathroom lines were. She said they were bad. She said it was like 45 minutes. She said the merch sold out and she waited in line for 2 hours for something. She said she got a poster but that was all she was able to get.
Howard said he thinks they should have someone handling her merch better. Jon said they can't calculate that. He said these people really want the merch. He said it's like black Friday.
Michelle said they do sell stuff online. She said she'll be able to get what she wants but it won't be until the end of July. Howard asked if Michelle ever met Taylor. She said she never did. Jon said he did meet her. He said his kids got him in. He said she was fantastic. Howard asked some questions about that and Jon said she knows how to deal with her fans. He said he hung back most of the time. He said he was there creepily behind his kids and Taylor.
Howard played another song that Michelle told him about called ''August''. He played the song and tried talking it up but there was no intro. He didn't know it was that short.
Howard said he should have been a song writer. He said he has a lot of horror stories in him. He said that's why people would love his music.
Howard said he went to see his mother over vacation and they were there 20 minutes and she was done with them. He said now his mom has a black eye that he'll tell you about in a minute. He said a table took her out.
Howard said he has to get Taylor on the show. Robin said she admires her stance on things. She said she isn't afraid to sing about things. Howard said she's hot and fun to look at too. He said that's important in show business. Robin said she's in a commercial and she's trying to see what she's doing in each pose in the commercial. Howard said he like show she dresses like a super hero. He said she kind of wears an outfit like a cheerleader. Michelle said she does the whole concert in heels too. Howard said he admires that.
Howard asked Michelle about fans who fight over her. Michelle said there are different types of fans and she and Jon are always arguing about her. Howard asked how many costume changes she did during the concert. Michelle said maybe 8 or so. She went through some of those. Jon said that the concert is broken up into different eras of her career.
Howard asked Michelle what else she liked. They went through more of the concert stuff.
Howard asked what her stance is on showing tittie. Michelle said she shows some. Jon said he thinks Howard would like the costume changes. He said he would be happy being there the entire 3 hours and 20 minutes. Jon said you may not like her music but she writes all of her songs and she's very talented. Robin said she has longevity. Howard said she has stood the test of time. Michelle said that she has worked with Ed Sheeran closely. Robin said you don't have to help her with that. She said she stands on her own.
Howard said he's trying to understand her devotion to her. Howard asked who she would save if Harry Styles and Taylor were on a boat that was sinking. Michelle said she would have to save Taylor. She said she's sorry to Harry. She said she does love him too though.
Howard asked if she went to the bathroom during the concert. Michelle said she had to. She said her bladder is pretty small. She said the bathrooms weren't too bad there. She said they should have let some women use the men's bathrooms that weren't being used as much. Jon said you don't want to be in the men's bathroom.
Howard asked if Michelle can say anything negative about Taylor. Michelle said she's sure there is but not at this moment. She said that she's riding on a high at this point. Howard took a call from a fake fan who said she hasn't gone to the bathroom yet at the concert. She was shitting and making Howard laugh. Howard said he's so childish that it makes him laugh.
Howard said he didn't know the governor of New Jersey was named Phil Murphy. He said they named a sandwich after Taylor in New Jersey. Michelle said every city that she appeared in was doing something for her. She told Howard about what other places were doing. Robin said a sandwich from the governor is pretty lame. Howard said this is him announcing the sandwich. He had some audio of that where Murphy gave the name of the stupid sandwich.
Howard said he has to say that what he knows of her she wouldn't endorse a sandwich made out of Taylor ham. He said he's not sure if he's allowed to say what she did for Beth. Jon said he thinks he mentioned that. Howard said she was very generous. He said that's how he'll put it. He said he likes people who put up. He said she put up. Robin said she's okay in her book if she's a cat person.
Robin said there was a concert where she yelled at the security guards to get off the fans. Michelle said that they have a crowd chant during that song now. She said that she did it once and they chant along during the song now.
Howard said there's a lot of people on the phone about this concert. He took a call from a woman who said she was a security guard at the New Jersey concert. She said she was on stage for 3 hours and 45 minutes and she premiered a video there. Howard said he waited a long time for that information. He let her go.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he took his wife to a concert in Philly and the bathrooms were open to women there and they had women in the men's bathroom. He said they were everywhere. He said dudes were doing their thing and women were in there. Howard said we're like cattle. He said people have to shit like animals. He said it's embarrassing.
Howard asked Michelle if she made it into the men's bathroom. Michelle said she did not. Howard said he has to use a stall. He said he can't go in front of people. He said that the venues have to figure out the bathroom thing. He said they have to do something. He said he's not sure why there's such a problem.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Joe Pesci talking about how he's the biggest Taylor fan in the country. He said that he didn't pee and he got sepsis from that. He said he just shit in his seat too. He said the fans threw him around like a beach ball when they saw him there. Howard let fake Joe go a short time later.
Howard said they should make all of the seats a toilet at the concerts. He said that you'd have to have a flush though. He said during the show you'd hear flushing happening all the time. Howard played a Taylor Swift song and Fred played the toilets flushing.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she went to the Taylor Swift concert on Sunday with no tickets. She said she tried everything to get tickets and she wasn't able to pay for tickets. She said she took her son and his friends there and they spent about 9 hours in the parking lot and listened to the whole thing from there. Howard said they pipe it out there. Michelle said they don't. The caller said that they told fans not to come without tickets so they just parked nearby. She said there were fans all over and everyone was trying to get in. She said she begged the cops to let them in and they did and it was the best night of her son's life.
Howard said this call is like the opposite of his mom and dad. He said they don't have tickets and they tell you not to come if you don't have tickets but they show up anyway. He did his impression of his parents going off on him about asking to go to a concert like that.
The caller said that her son really wanted to go to the concert. Howard said he's not sure if that's good for the kid or not. He said it might turn you into a maniac. The caller said she was out there until 1 in the morning dancing around with the kids out in the parking lot. Howard took a call from a fake caller who said she's a bigger fan than this Melissa. Chris was doing an impression of a woman talking about what a great mother she is.
Melissa said she met Howard's parents in a supermarket 5 years ago and it was so great. She said she saw his parents out and they were so lovely. She said she started crying when she saw them. She said they thought she was a lunatic.
Howard was trying to let Melissa go but she was yelling about how much he's loves him. Howard said that's very sweet but she doesn't have to yell. He let her go a short time later.
Howard said he's not sure if it's good to have a parent who is that into you. He said that she took the kids to the concert even though she didn't have tickets. He said they sat in the parking lot. He was doing his impression of his mother doing something like that for him. He said he can't imagine his parents doing that for him.
Michelle said tickets were very hard to get and they were insane to get a hold of after market. Howard did more of his impression of his mother and father talking about taking him to a concert he wanted to go to. Robin said her parents could care less about any concert she wanted to go to. She said they didn't care what kind of music she was into.
Howard said Michelle did it and got to the concert. He asked if she's going to any other concerts. Michelle said she'd like to go to L.A. but the tickets are ridiculous. He said that she was lucky and got her tickets at face value. She said she paid $400 and $200 for the second night. She said she knows people who paid over $800 a seat. Jon said the seats in L.A. are at least $1,000.
Michelle said she sold her extra tickets to Will. Will said she was very nice and sold them to him at face value. He said it was his daughter's first concert and she loved it. Howard said she's a good person. He said she might be a saint. Michelle said she wouldn't go that far.
Howard said he would have charged Will like 4 grand. Will said she can watch it at home in that case.
Howard said you will do anything for your kids. He said he took his daughter to a Paul McCartney concert and asked Paul for an autograph and he said no. He said that Chris Rock stood there laughing. He said he humiliated himself for his daughter and he had Chris Rock there watching.
Howard asked Siri what Taylor's net worth is. He found that it said $360 million. Michelle said that they say that she may be a billionaire after this concert tour. Howard asked what she's buying with that money. Michelle said she knows she has homes all over the place. Howard said she's right about her being worth like $740 million now. Jon said that she's also re-releasing her albums so that will make her even more.
Howard said he's not sure how guys impress her when she's worth so much. Michelle said that she had a relationship that was 6 years long so she has done okay. Michelle said there was a theory that he broke up with her. Howard said what an asshole that guy must be.
Howard asked Michelle who her favorite Taylor Swift boyfriend was. Michelle said that Harry Styles might be it. She said that she wrote a song about him. Howard didn't know they were a thing. Howard asked how tall she is. Michelle said that she's like 6' tall. Jon said she was almost as tall as he is and he's 6'2''.
Howard spent more time asking Michelle about going to the concert and if she lost her voice and things like that. Jon said there are 60,000 fans screaming every word at the top of their lungs there. Howard said he wants to hear the screaming. He played a song and asked if she can sing along to Shake it Off. Michelle said she's the worst singer in the world. Howard asked what song is a screaming song. Michelle said Shake it Off or Bad Blood might be good. Howard played Bad Blood for her and asked her to sing along. Michelle asked him to skip to the second verse where Kendrick Lamar is in it. Howard said he has a fan on the phone who says she's still screaming. He took that fake call and didn't last more than few seconds.
Howard asked Michelle to sing along to this song. He played the part she was talking about and Michelle didn't sing. Howard said she's really uptight. Howard said that was her big moment. He said he could have said she had to do it or she'd get fired. Howard said maybe Jon can do it. Jon said he would sing along.
Howard thanked the guys for the update. He said he feels like he was there. He said that was pretty awesome. He said they're talking about a lot of shit this morning. He said he's not sure where he even is.
Howard asked if the Larry Sanders show is on there. Gary said it is. Howard spent a minute talking about Garry Shandling and how he can't believe that guy is dead. He said he was really funny. He said he's reading Judd Apatow's book (It's Garry Shandling's Book) about Garry. He said he took Garry's diary and published some of his stuff. He said it's good.
Howard talked about how Garry got into stand up comedy. He went through the details of his life.
Howard said he did some things over vacation that made him think that he's not afraid of COVID. He said he did a few things. He said that Beth was telling him that they look at the water to see how much COVID is out there. He said that he loves scientists. He said there are still a lot of cases out there. He said there's about 7,000 in the country now. He said they went out to eat in Manhattan and Beth went to his daughter's shower. He said that she's getting married soon. He said it's kind of bigger than a wedding. He said she's such a good kid. He said she deserves it. He said she has a lot of events. He said he had to turn one down. He said he told her it has to stop at some point.
Gary said that weddings turned into a week long thing now. He said that his kids friends are getting married and their weddings are a week long party.
Howard said he and Beth have been going out and not wearing masks and stuff. He said it was kind of nice. He said that he went to a friend's house to play chess and he doesn't play much now so he's not very good. He said the guy he was playing was trying hard to beat him. He said everyone has their way with him. He said his neighbor is a nice guy so he invited him over to play.
Howard asked Gary more about this wedding thing. Gary said that they have so much around the weddings now and it's party after party. Howard said his daughter has all of that too. Gary said there are things they do that are 3 or 4 days long.
Howard said his daughter isn't even rehearsing the wedding. He said he thinks they have to. He said he has to be there at 2 for a 7 o'clock wedding. He said he's not sure why but he can't do that. He said he has to nap.
Howard said he'll have fun. He said he's going to make a speech and not write it. He said he's gone on web sites where they had speeches that dads made and they were killing. He said some people drone on and on. He said just shut the fuck up and let the people party. He said just say something from the heart and get off. He said his dad taught him that. He said that his mother used to get him up to make speeches. He said she'd ask him to say something and he didn't want to be up there. He said his mother insisted. He said he'd get up and say something and then she'd tell him that was horrible.
Howard said no one remembers the speech anyway. He said he thinks he did a good job at his other daughter's wedding. He said he thinks he had a few things jotted down. Jon said he has the same thing going on with his daughter. He said it's a lot of pressure. He said that it's one thing after another. He said that he wants them to have the money to start off their lives but they want the wedding.
Howard said his daughter gets whatever she wants. He said he tries to put his foot down but he can't do that. He said it's crazy.
Howard said Beth has gotten like 7 dresses for his daughter's wedding. He said they're trying to figure out if it's too sexy for the wedding. He said that they can't have her looking too hot. He said that she won't upstage her or anything. He said he had a tux made. He said the wedding is going to be black tie. He said he had to have that tux changed from when he did America's Got Talent. He said that his body has changed a bit since then. He said it's kind of depressing.
Robin said she heard Arnold Schwarzenegger talking about his body and what it's like now. She said that he has a belly now.
Howard said there's a show on Netflix called FUBAR and he has his shirt off in that. He said he might be in better shape than Arnold is. Robin said that he has a statue of himself in his prime on his property. Howard said that guy had a perfect body. He said he was a beauty. He said he sees tape from the old shows and sees himself and thinks he was kind of cute back then. He said now look at him. He said he's still in better shape than Arnold is now.
Howard said he kind of likes that his body might be more attractive than Arnold's is now. He said getting older really sucks. He said it's fucked up. Howard said they have to get Arnold back on the show. The real one.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and talked up the Creed song. He said he likes these guys even though it's not cool to like them. He said some people think he was a rip off of Eddie Vedder but he likes Eddie and this guy. He said he likes this song. Howard said he's not sure why he has to apologize for being a fan of this song. Howard sang along with the song. He said imagine going to some concert and hearing someone screaming along to the song. He said he wants to hear the singer. He said that Jon and Michelle were talking about singing along. He said he'd want to hear Taylor singing, not Jon and Michelle. He said just shut the fuck up. He said no offense to Michelle but he wouldn't pay 4 grand for a ticket to hear her singing.
Robin said when she went to see Paul McCartney she started screaming and singing so loud. She said Jennifer Aniston turned around to see where that noise was coming from. She said she was embarrassing herself. Howard said he can't stand people. He said that's why he loves this job. He said he has Bruce Springsteen in his studio performing just for him.
Howard asked if Robin can understand what he's saying. Robin said she can. Howard changed to his high pitched Steve voice and talked to Robin about his small balls. He was going back and forth between the two.
Howard said he moved some stuff around. He said they're back live in June so he had to get that worked out. He said he went pee during the break. He said he peed sitting down. He said Ralph told him to give that a try. He said that he doesn't have time to clean up during the break so he just sat down. He said he doesn't feel like he fully evacuated. He said he still stuffs tissues in his underpants. He said there's a lot of lint in there after a day. He said he has a lot going on in his underpants.
Robin said he should use a man pad. Howard said he got some. He said someone sent them to him. He said he's not using them. He said that his dad was supposed to use something like that. He said that he didn't like it. He said he saw it as a big defeat. Howard said he gets it. He said he doesn't want to have that. He said that this man pad thing is real. He said he tried it but it slipped around too much. He said it was too rough on his wiener. Howard said he didn't have any lint in his underpants though.
Howard talked to fake Trump about Ron DeSantis and the things going on with him. He talked about his announcement about running for president and things like that. Trump talked about his new slogan and other things as well.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to fake Trump about a few other things before letting him go. They talked about Mike Pence, Trump's court cases, Transgender people and more.
Howard said he figured Robin would want to talk to him. He said there are a lot of people getting into the race for president now.
Howard said this is a montage of Johnny talking about himself. He played a clip of Johnny going on and on about his life.
Howard said that guy would give Gary a run for his money. Robin said he gave a lot of his life in that. Howard said Johnny spent 7 minutes on the topic of pizza alone. He said he will just play a little bit of that. He played a short clip of Johnny talking about pizza.
Howard said he thinks he didn't talk enough about pizza. He said he may have won her over if he had.
Howard said Johnny was asked to grade himself after the date. He played a clip where he gave himself an A+. He said he was still interested in Kathy after that. Memet was asking him questions about the date and what he learned about her. Johnny said that was a difficult question. He said that he doesn't think he learned anything earth shatteringly new about her.
Howard said it took him 35 minutes before he even asked Kathy a question about herself. Howard didn't know what that was. Memet said it was nothing that interesting or insightful.
Howard had Johnny on the phone and told him that he has to up his game. Johnny said he was coming down with a bronchial thing that put him in the hospital. He said he had never been on a Zoom date before. He said he can't argue with what they're saying though. Howard asked if Johnny has been successful with women with that pizza rap. Johnny said it depends on the date. He said it's all relative.
Howard played some audio of Kathy talking about the date and how she'd rate it a C. She said he didn't ask her anything about herself. She said she did want to hear more about him though. Howard said she must like him then.
Howard got Kathy on the phone and asked her about the date. Kathy said when he played the response to the date she said he does come across like he's out of touch. She said that she had a call after that and she wanted to be done with it but he was really cool on the phone. She said that he admitted he was an asshole and apologized. She said it was really weird.
Johnny said he just heard himself and he thought he came across like an asshole too. Howard said Sam thinks that she's really smitten with him. Kathy said not at all. She said she thinks that she's the one who is out of it.
Howard got Sam on and asked her what she has to say about all of this. Sam said she's ready to put a close to this. She said she's really ready. She said that her mom is going back and forth about this and how much she wants her involved with it. She said that her mom wanted to give her all the details about Johnny and she thought he was a great guy. She said she was really into it. She said maybe she's playing it down. She said she seemed to be into him in their private conversation.
Howard asked if Kathy thinks it's over. Kathy said she thinks that if he came to New York she'd get together with him but not jumping into bed. Howard said that's not a good reason to come to New York.
Johnny said he'd like to see her too if she came to Florida. Howard took a call from fake Johnny C who was doing an impression of Johnny and giving him advice on what to talk to Kathy about.
Howard said Johnny really learned nothing about Kathy. Johnny said he did watch her interviews with Howard. He said he was well educated with her after that. Howard said to put a button on this thing Kathy says that they had a nice phone call after the show call. He said she's up for meeting him. He said Johnny would like to meet her too. Johnny said he's 1000 percent better in person. Howard said if you're speaking to a woman on the phone and she's just saying ''right'' over and over you might be boring her.
Robin asked what would bring Johnny to New York. Johnny said that's where he's from but he hasn't been back in a long time. He said that he does miss the pizza. He said he was able to bring it down to Florida when he was doing that. He said there are places to go to get pretty decent pizza down there. Kathy said ''here we go again.''
Howard said he hopes they get to meet some day. He gave Johnny some advice and told him not to talk so much next time. He let Kathy and Johnny go.
Howard said he thinks that Sam's mom is smitten. Sam said she was giggling. She said she thinks that she would sleep with him if he was there in New York. Howard said he thinks so too. Sam said if he's in the city for one weekend they're sleeping together. Howard said that has to be weird for her. Sam said it is. She said they found out a lot about her mom. She said Johnny felt like a safe bet. She said you never know though.
Sam said she had a big reaction to her mom's stories. She said that she got very involved and invested in the game. She said it was just a game but she was too controlling. She said she was protective of the crazies that her mom had been with. She said that everyone has their thing but she seemed to be involved with a lot of weird stuff. She said off air she told her she apologized for getting so invested.
Howard said if his mom told him those stories he'd be asking her what her deal is. He said he gets where Sam is at.
Howard said he's trying to think about anything crazy he's ever been involved with. He said he has had blow jobs and a woman tried to stick her finger up his ass. He said he clenched up. He said that's not his thing. He said he hasn't really put his tongue up anyone's ass. Sam said that's normal these days. Howard asked what happened to just fucking. He said it's so marvelous.
Howard said nothing crazy has happened to him. He said Robin has had some crazy things happen to her. He said that he didn't like that guy taking her into a bathroom and fucking her in the ass. He said that was kind of wrong. Robin said it was not unappreciated. Howard said Robin rubbing herself with vegetables isn't even that weird. He said that he's trying to think about crazy stuff. He said he's had women take him home and fuck him the same night.
Howard said he and Fred had some girls who wanted them at a club. Fred said Howard was married at the time so it wasn't the right time for that. Howard said that was his wildest story. He said he didn't do anything with her. He said they didn't have any rods up their dicks or anything like Kathy talked about.
Howard said Fred is like a woman sometimes. He said he's too sensible about things. He said that they were staying with a friend and they didn't have any money. Fred said the women were really hot. He said they were out of his league for sure. Howard said he was shook by that whole thing.
Howard said he got the feeling Fred would have said no too. He said he was single at the time. Fred said if it was two single guys he would have said yes. He said that he wasn't going to do anything with two girls. He said it would have been weird.
Howard said Sam's mom is like a magnet for weirdness. He asked if her mom was the hot mom. Sam said she was. She said that she kind of had this Gislaine Maxwell look at one time. She said when she was born she had a David Bowie hair cut. She said she was always doing the trendy kind of stuff.
Howard asked if any of her guy friends tried to bang her. Sam said not that she knows of. Howard said she may be out of the loop. Sam said she had a boyfriend who watched her mom eat her ice cream cone. She said that she caught on to it and he said the way she ate it was something he couldn't help but think about. She said her mom was really going at the cone. She said she thinks that's just what her mom does.
Howard said he doesn't recall any of his friends wanting to fuck his mom. He said maybe there's a love connection with Kathy and Johnny. Sam said she feels like she shouldn't have taken the game so seriously. She said that she might be okay with just getting her a new dildo. Howard let Sam go and talked about her finding that old dildo that her mom had.
Howard said the fans wrote in about the special they had on Howard 101 where they replayed the contest they had where Sal and Richard got hired.
Howard said it turns out that Sal was cheating by having fans vote for him. He played some clips of Sal talking about that.
Howard said they also played some Jesus Twins stuff. He said he always enjoyed those guys. He said they had a whole special on that. He said they were great on the show. He said they would yell at everyone and they were a lot of fun. He read some feedback about them. He played some clips from the special too.
Gary said they had to have two days to play that special. He said they had so much and he had forgotten about their manager and how great he was. Howard said one of the guys passed away. He said the other guy, Jeff, is a dog trainer in L.A. now. He said he's very good at it from what he hears. Howard played their awful song ''Feel My Ubiquity'' after that. Howard said that was their song.
Howard said they had Stefan the Cum Dumpster on the show before they went on vacation. He said that a lot of people were appalled by that conversation. He read some feedback about that guy.
Howard said that Wolfie had a follow up interview with Stefan. He played a clip where Stefan talked about a movie he did where this green liquid came out of him while doing an anal scene. He explained how he had to clean up and do more scenes that day. Howard and Wolfie spent a short time talking about that disgusting story.
Howard said he's not sure that he'd write into a show about throwing up in your car after hearing this guy's stories. He said the commentary about it is fun. He said he's the one who put that woman on with no arms and legs and he said to the Channel 9 people that it would be the highest rated segment ever and it turns out it was the lowest. He said they lost ratings. He said that he thought it would be huge.
Howard said he forgets about this stuff. He said he forgot about the cum dumpster guy. He said he just went and ate lunch that day.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Ron DeSantis who was talking about his anal pocket and cum dumpster stuff. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard and Robin spent a little time talking about Ron DeSantis changing the way he pronounces his name and how odd that is. Howard said Gary is the only one who has changed the way he says his name.
Howard said Dave Matthews will be on the show on Wednesday. He said that the listeners wrote in about the next Wack Packer who will die. He said a lot of fans wrote in about High Pitch Erik and how he may be the next one to go. He read some feedback about that and played a montage of Elephant Boy, Marfan Mike and Crackhead Bob to pay tribute to them.
Howard said he has a bit of a tidbit here. He said that Beetlejuice just had his birthday. He asked how old Robin thinks he is. Robin said that's a great question. She asked how you put an age on him. Robin guessed 52. Howard said he's 55. He said he just turned 55. Howard said he claims to be 173 but he's really 55. He said even Gary was shocked by that. He said no one really knows how old he is. He said he didn't really think about how old he was. Robin said she knows nothing about his age. Gary said he has some grey and a bit of a gut. He said it was funny to hear he was 55. Howard asked how old Gary is. Gary said he's 62. Howard said Beet is 55. He said that's scary.
Howard said he has some Beetlejuice music. He has a few songs he could play. Howard gave Robin a bunch of choices. He went with the song that they did with Snoop Dogg, Sean Paul and Big Freedia.
Howard said he has to say something. He said the most talented musicians in the business are the guys who can make Beetlejuice sound good. He said Beetlejuice has better songs than he does.
Howard said they've done enough show. He ended the show around 10:30am.
Howard said here was a video of Willow Smith playing a song and she has a lot of talent too. He said he's not sure what the son's deal is. Robin said he's done some rapping and things like that. Howard said he has to get into the rapping thing. He said he liked it in that Beetlejuice song yesterday. He said he was listening to that this morning. He said they had Snoop Dogg, Big Freedia and Sean Paul in it. He said he was good. He said he's not sure how he does it but that song rules. He said he can't play it again because it'll be in his head the whole show.
Howard said Billy Squire sent him some new music. He said he's all worked up over that Roe Vs Wade being over turned. He said that he's with the guy on that. He said Billy wrote a song about it. He said Gavin from Bush sent him his new song too. He said he got together with the woman from Evanescence, Amy Lee, who doesn't like him. He said he'll be the bigger man and say she's really talented. He said she sounds great. He said Gavin used her on his new record and she sounds great. He said he gets it.
Howard said he can play the song. He said it's an exclusive. He said this hasn't been heard anywhere else. He played the new song ''1000 Years'' and said it's good. Howard said this is what vampires fuck to.
Howard said Robin is grinding into her book shelf. He said this was his wedding song when he married Jada Pinkett Smith. He said this is a good song. Robin said their vices combine so well. She said she was being quiet and just listening.
Howard said talking over the beginning of the song wouldn't be right. He said he was thinking about talking in the middle of it. He said he realized they used to do that on WBLS to talk over the song. He said it would happen in the middle of the song. He played the song and did an impression of what that sounded like. Howard said they didn't fuck around on that station. He said it was right in the middle of the song. He said he'd do weather talk ups in the middle of songs. Robin said that's horrible. She said it's worse than the call letters.
Howard said he likes this song. Robin said she's not sure what the song is about. Howard said it doesn't matter. He was still doing his news over the song.
Howard said that's Gavin Rossdale. He said Amy Lee isn't a fan of his but he can overlook that. He said he's a fan of her's. He said it's very Trumpy to do that. He said Trump turned on him because he wouldn't change his politics. He said that he said no to him when he asked him to speak at an event when he was running for president. He said he never heard from the guy again. He said he thinks about things differently than he does. He said he hates him now. He said it's weird.
Howard said Amy Lee doesn't like him but he likes her a lot. He said that she just hates him. He said Gavin is his man. He said thanks for that world premiere of that song.
Howard said he was listening to some other music. He said that Billy Squire claims he went into the woods to write this song about the Roe V Wade. He said he wrote a song called Harder on a Woman. He said this is that song. He played some of that for Robin. He said he has that sound. He said he goes into the woods and comes out with Ticks. He said Billy comes out with a whole song.
Howard said he was reading about Paul Simon and how he is in his 80s and that blew his mind. He said that's crazy. He said it affects him and he's not sure why. He said he's a big fan of his. He said he met Paul in a bathroom once. He said he never asks someone to come on the show and puts them on the spot. He said he felt like Paul was a fan the way he talked to him. He said he was just very tall and Paul is not tall. He said he was very aware of his height standing there talking to him. He said he knows short guys hate tall guys. He said he feels awkward wherever he goes. He said every time he's seen Paul around he's with shorter guys.
Howard said Paul put out a new album and that got him excited. He said he was at a later age in his life and he wrote songs about dying. He said it's not all about dying but he does get into that. He said that the album is heavy. He said it's one track but it's 33 minutes long. He said it's a bunch of songs in one track. He said it's called 7 Psalms. He said he's lost hearing in his left ear and he can't play right because of that. He said he's had COVID and he's frail from that now. He said he feels for the guy. Robin said he's an amazing guy.
Howard played ''The Lord'' and said this is really heavy. He said he's singing about the great migration and that's when you die. He played the song in bits and went over the lyrics. He said he did look the lyrics up. He said he was obsessed with death last night. He said he couldn't sleep. He said he should have beat off. He said he wasn't going to do that with Beth there.
Howard said Paul got him thinking about death. He said poor Paul. He said he thinks Gary tired to get him on the show. Gary said they have had some very positive conversations recently. Howard said he'd love to talk to him. Gary said it's not happening but there is some positives there. Howard said Paul knows best. He said he has decided to talk to people who want to talk to him. He said Amy Lee doesn't want to talk to him so he gets it.
Howard said that kind of upset him because he likes her music. He said they had some really good songs. He said he's had such a dumb career. He said that they had a meeting before the show and he was talking about being Fartman on MTV. He said some of the younger people on the staff were asking about that. He said he had all the kids sitting around the camp fire listening to his stories. He said it seems unbelievable when he tells that story.
The guys told Howard that it was actually yesterday. Howard said he was watching it this morning. He said it was on his Sling app. He said they have to fix that app. He said it doesn't work right.
Howard said he was on a rant yesterday about Peloton. He said they have a seat recall on his bike. He said he was complaining about the wait for the recalled seat. He said he was bitching about it yesterday on the show. He said that he's sold a lot of them talking about them so much. He said if anyone should get preferential treatment it's him. He said that he was whining about it yesterday. He said that he wanted to be in the front of the line. He said he threw his weight around about the seat. He said that his assistant got a call from the head of Peloton and he told her that they don't give preferential treatment and he has to wait. He said he likes this guy. He said he's not falling for it. He said they said he's on the list like everyone else and he'll get his seat eventually. He said they should get on that and get everyone their seats. He said he likes that he's not being treated better than anyone else. Robin said celebrity always comes first. Howard said he likes that though. Howard said he's angry but sort of impressed.
Howard said Gary says he just goes on his bike anyway. He said he doesn't want a pole up his ass though. He said they did warn him. He said he can imagine clipping into the bike and falling over. He said the seat snaps off and then it falls over and crashes into the other stuff he has. Robin said he'd be unconscious and found that way. Howard said they should be shitting their pants that he's bad mouthing their company. He said if you get beaten up enough then they can just take it. He said don't send him a letter telling him his seat will fall off and then make him wait months for a replacement.
Howard said he has a guy on the phone who says he broke a seat. The caller, Cardiff, says he weighs about 260 and he's 6'2''. Howard said Mike Trainor got a seat and he's like 240. Cardiff asked if he heard that Stuttering John was at a Dodgers game over the weekend. Howard said he did not. Cardiff said he must not be following the Dabbleverse. Howard hung up on the guy not having any idea what he was talking about.
Howard said that guy did sound like a guy who would break a seat. He said that was a disappointment.
JD said he can correct the Morning Joe confusion. He said Joe did come on and say that today was the day of RFK but then he said he was shot on the 5th and he moved on. Howard said maybe Beth was talking to him at the time. He said he was a real fan of that dude RFK.
Howard said his dad was weird politically. He said he voted for Gerald Ford. He said his mom was very democratic. He said his dad was all over the place politically. He said if you get him in a room you can get him to vote different ways too. He said he knows what he believes in though. He said he saw some dudes the other day doing the Nazi salute. He said he was thinking about the kids who died fighting the Nazis. He said he said these guys are just so misguided. He said it's such an affront to the people in this country. He said it's very depressing. He said people want to be like Trump and yell at people and fight back like Trump. He said he misses the old days when politicians would be friendlier to each other. Robin said she was glad that they got the debt ceiling thing taken care of. She said it's not easy to do that these days.
Howard said there are days when he wants to lay in bed and just watch TV. Robin said she does that now. She said she can't watch people arguing and saying the dumbest things.
Howard said what he liked about Kim was that she would be naked on the show. He said the other ones kept their clothes on.
Howard played some news reports about Kim returning to the show. People were making a big deal out of this news.
Robin said she was consumed with this Taylor Swift thing where she swallowed a bug that flew into her mouth during a concert. Howard said he has a game to play. He said that they created a game using news clips and you have to guess if it's an incoming natural disaster or Taylor Swift they're talking about.
Howard played a clip where the reporter was talking about how the shelves were stocked in a store and people were talking about getting in their shopping early before something was coming to town. Howard asked if that's a natural disaster or Taylor Swift. Robin said she thinks it's Taylor Swift. Howard played the clip and she was right.
Howard said that's pretty crazy. Robin said they can't even get across town. Howard said the store shelves were empty because of this. He said he's not sure how she got that right. He said he got it wrong last night when he was rehearsing.
Howard played another clip where they were reporting about using common sense when this thing affects people. Robin said that had to be a natural disaster. Howard said it was hurricane Sandy.
Howard said Robin is two for two. He said it's not going to get easier though. He said Taylor has to feel good about herself over this. He said no one ever had to stock up on milk over him. Robin said Howard was like a natural disaster though. Howard played a clip and they were reporting about the Jersey Turnpike and how much traffic it was going to be. Howard asked Robin what that is. Robin said it's Taylor again. Howard said she's right and played a clip where they were talking about the traffic issues that might come with her visit.
Howard said she's 3 for 3 so far. Howard played another clip and it was about traffic delays coming in an area. Robin said that's a close one. Howard said it is a tough one. Robin said she's saying that's Taylor again. Howard played the clip and it was about Taylor again.
Howard played another clip where they were talking about this convention center that was being opened with water and food. Robin said she's going to say that's a Taylor again. Howard played the clip and she was wrong. It was about a natural disaster.
Howard said Robin got one wrong. He said she's good. He said that was about the NRG center in Houston front 2017 during Hurricane Harvey. He said next week they'll do Taylor or Zombie Apocalypse.
Howard said he has a bonus clip. He played the clip and fucked up and played the wrong one. He played the right clip and people were talking about sheltering in place and people have to wait until they're told what they can do. Robin said that has to be a natural disaster. Howard said it's actually both. He said it was a trick question. He said it was about massive storms that delayed the show for 4 hours. He played the remaining audio where they talked about the whole mess.
Howard said it's a good thing he's not a rock star. He said his fans would be let down a lot. He said any sign of rain he wouldn't show up. He said his wife gets crazy from him. He said they'd go for walks in Florida and any sign of rain he'd stay home. He said he wasn't going to go for a walk if he saw any purple clouds out there. He said he didn't want to get hit by lightning. He said they'd stay home and there wouldn't be any rain or anything. Robin said Taylor performed in a downpour. Howard said he's not doing it.
Gary said that he's going to be working as a consultant at Paragon. Howard said he was a nice guy. He said he used to see him in the hall there at K-Rock. He said that's an interesting name. He said he can usually tell what they are but he can't tell what Bob was.
Howard said he was thinking about Barbara Walters and realized she's dead now. Mike said she was at his wedding. Howard said she was. He said that she was at the table with Donald Trump, Joan Rivers and others.
Mike asked who Robin thinks is the hottest guy in the world right now. Howard said her answer is him. Howard asked who the hottest guy is after Howard. Robin said she's not sure. She said that Timothee Chalamet might be the guy. Howard sounded shocked by that. He said her vagina would clamp down on that penis and rip it right off. Howard said he dresses kind of feminine. Robin said she likes that kind of stuff. Mike said that he looks like Johnny Depp if he stayed home and didn't go out a lot.
Howard said Mike is annoying the fuck out of him. Mike asked if they can get an update about Ronnie's wedding so they know when they're going to be having sex and they can all have it at the same time. Howard said who gives a shit. He let Mike go and said he doesn't know what happened to that guy. He said he used to be a good caller.
Howard said it's rumored that Timothee is dating Kylie Jenner. He said it's so weird that people talk about how ugly these women are even though they're beautiful. He said they do the same about Emily Ratajkowski. He said that they have to stop with that.
Howard said it's like that girl who played Khaleesi on Game of Thrones. He said people shamed her about getting naked on that show and she stopped. He said it was the worst day in television when she stopped getting naked. He said that she'd step out of the fire and she'd have her clothes on.
Howard said he understands that he has to see The Idol. He said he heard that Johnny Depp's daughter (Lily-Rose) is naked in the show. He said people get angry at any young woman getting naked. He said Heidi is 50 and she has nip slips and people tell her to put her clothes on. He said no she shouldn't. He said she shouldn't put her clothes on. He said he still likes looking at her titties. He said that some of these older gals are still attractive to older guys like him.
Howard read some comments about Kendall Jenner on Daily Mail. He said people hate Emily Ratajkowski on there too. He said that people write some awful things about good looking women on there.
Howard said she seemed like a nice gal when she was around years ago. He said she went all out religious. He said he hears people like that speaking and we don't really know what's on this God's mind. Robin said this country is about religious freedom but people like that don't want you to have that.
Howard played a clip of a guy going nuts yelling at a town meeting. Howard said this white dude had long dreadlocks and a beard. He said the people who volunteer for this town stuff are something. He said they have to put up with stuff like this. He said he wouldn't want to be around this guy. Howard said he'd be wondering what the guy is screaming about.
Howard said he has more town meeting clips. He played a montage of a bunch of nuts talking about what the towns should be doing. There were some sex workers who were asking for the towns to support them. One woman sang to the town council.
Howard said he has another funny one. He said some of the officials are just as nuts. He said this was from Santa Rosa county. He said they showed this guy saying he wanted to ''Jew you down'' in the clip. He said he was saying he wasn't saying anything bad about the Jews though. He played that clip and the guy said he wasn't referring to the Jewish community. He said he uses that as a bargaining them down. He said that people know that's not an ethnic slur. He refused to apologize for that. Howard said he knows guys like that.
Howard said Gary was on the town council in his town for a while. Gary said he was and he had some nutty stuff go on. He said this one guy showed up with his son and he warned him that it could get very boring. He said that this woman was there getting agitated hearing them talking about turf fields. He said this woman was slamming the table and yelling that they weren't listening to her. He said he saw this dad and his son walk out of there. He said they're probably scarred for life.
Gary said you have to put people on a clock and they don't pay attention to it. He said it can get very uncomfortable. Gary said they give you 2 minutes. He said he would put his phone up and use that as a timer. He said this one woman used her 2 minutes and took 2 minutes from another person who backed out of speaking.
Howard asked Gary if they ever got Astroturf. Gary said no. He said that's just one of the things they talked about. He said the turf can get hot in the summer. He said that one person thought that it was going to heat up their house. It turned out they lived 3 blocks away from the field.
Howard said he admires people who volunteer. Gary said they did get a civic center built and it's being built right now so he feels proud of that.
Howard said he wants to wrap this up and he loves when they call on fake names to speak. He said he is very childish when it comes to that stuff. He played a clip where they were reading fake names at a town meeting. They read Phil McCracken, Suk Mahdik, Eileen Dover, Don Keydick, Wayne Kerr and others.
Howard said he loves that. He made up some more. He said that happened at another meeting. He played another clip where they read some fake names. Howard made up more fake names and read them like the guy in the clip.
Howard said he laughs every time at that stuff. Howard said he has another one that's from a meeting. He played that and the guy in the town meeting read some fake names and people were laughing at him. The guy didn't know that they were fake names.
Howard said years ago Benjy went to a port authority meeting and he did the speech from Footloose and that was kind of funny. He said he'll play some of that. In the clip Benjy was doing the speech and dragging it out. Howard said he remembers the video of this and no one was even listening to him. He said the board members didn't care.
Howard said they probably thought Benjy was a slow adult. He said no one cared. Benjy was going no and on about the dancing thing and people were just talking to each other and not listening.
Howard said this is really obnoxious. He said that these people volunteer their time and they have to listen to this. Robin said they're there trying to help their community.
Howard played more of the Benjy speech that didn't end. He said after this the Port Authority approved a dance.
Howard said Dave Matthews will be there tomorrow. He said over the weekend they'll be going over the first celebrity Superfan Roundtable show that aired there. Howard went into a commercial read and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and asked who is covering this song. He's never heard that. He said he was playing guitar for awhile and got pretty good at this song. He said he should have stuck with it. He said he got into paining and did that instead. He said he loves the guitar but he's not wiling to put the work into it. Robin said he does that because he loves it. She said it gives him something. Howard said she's like an expert on him.
Howard said this guy has over 2.5 million streams of this song. He said he has about 8.5 thousand on his other songs.
Howard asked if Robin is freaked out that Al Pacino and Robert De Niro are having babies at 80 something years old. Robin said that this is about men wanting longevity and to be carried on into the next generation. Howard said he thinks they just don't wear rubbers and think they're shooting dust. He said De Niro is actually just 79. He said he's a young man. Howard said he has friends who bring this up and they think it's very selfish of them to have a kid at that age. Howard said he would have done well without a father. He said it's not all it's cracked up to be. He said that his dad did some damage on his brain.
Howard said he was talking to his psychiatrist about his parents the other day. He said they never bought him any books. He said his parents never read to him. He said he's okay with that. He said that his father wasn't that expressive. He said he never had any books until his aunt got him one. He said she got him The Canterbury Tales and he's saved it for like 60 years. He said the book is on display. He said he had to move it to put something else up. He said his aunt must have realized that he never had a book so she got him one. He said he was thinking about that. He said maybe it's not so bad to have kids when you're older.
Howard said he just remembers his dad asking his mom what he needed a book for, he's a moron. He said he wasn't going to read to him. He said Fred was a good dad. He jokingly said he read Mein Kampf to his daughter. Fred said he actually did like to read to his daughter. He said he read her a book about a pig that she loved. He said she followed it like it was TV. He said he was better than Taylor Swift to her.
Robin said she may have had some books. Howard said he didn't have any. Robin said even her parents got her some books. Howard said he can imagine his dad reading a book to him. He said his dad didn't want anything to do with anything childish.
Howard said he's waiting for Joe Pesci to knock on the door. He said he knows the guys who are having kids at this late age.
Fake Joe Pesci knocked on the door and talked to him about the old fuckers having kids. Howard said he's happy to hear form him about this. He said he isn't having any kids at that age. Fake Joe said he's 80 and doing whatever the fuck he wants to. He said that's his business.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake Al Pacino. He went off on Pesci a little bit. He said that age is just a number and he can still fuck. He said he's still dropping loads like it's the 70s. He was talking but then he fell asleep in the middle of a sentence. Howard let both of them go a short time later.
Howard said tan Mom lost her husband not too long ago. He said that she was talking about how she found this new guy and Wolfie talked to her about that. He said that nothing was straightforward about this story.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to Tan Mom about this new guy and she said his nickname is Danielle but his real name is Greg. She said that his friends call him that. Howard said Wolfie got to wondering about this and he got this Greg guy on the phone. He said that he asked if they Greg has made love to Tan Mom. He said they did not ''make soup'' as Tan Mom likes to say. He said that they have not made the soup but they have opened the can.
Wolfie said none of this was making sense at all. Howard said they had a conversation with Wolfie and they sent him to her house. He said they had to have a board meeting over this to get him out there. He said that Wolfie and Chris Wilding went out to visit them. He said no one knew what to call this Greg guy. It turns out it's Craig, not Greg and Tan Mom calls him Cole. It was very confusing. Howard said Wolfie was suspicious of this guy immediately. He said the whole thing was very confusing. Wolfie said the guy's voice was different too so this is two different people.
Howard said this is all very weird. He said Tan Mom is so tan now that she blends into her brown couch. He said it'll take Robin a minute to find her in the picture. He said you can't see her. He said that's how tan she is. He said you have to see this. Howard said it's mind blowing. Robin said ''Oh my god!'' when she saw the picture. Robin said you only see two people there. She said then you realize the couch has hair. Robin said she also looks like a skeleton now. She said a beautiful skeleton but a skeleton.
Howard said there was no chemistry between them. He said they admitted they were not intimate. He said Tan Mom did say she's very horny though. Howard played a clip where Tan Mom told Wolfie about how there will be a release there for her at some point. Wolfie asked her what that might sound like. Tan Mom did some sexy(?) talk for him.
Howard said he loves her. Robin said the guy said that Tan Mom would have a release and didn't mention himself. Howard said they'll get to that.
Howard said Wolfie asked if they would kiss for a picture and they gave very friend zone vibes over that. Howard played a clip where Cole said that she could kiss him on the cheek. Chris asked about their relationship and if they love each other. Cole said he hasn't said he loves her yet.
Howard said Tan Mom was very taken with a crow when they were out to lunch. She was paying more attention to that than she was with Cole. She was making sounds to the bird trying to chase it away. She said she was going to kill it.
Howard played a clip of Chris talking about maybe flirting with Cole to find out if he was gay. He did that when he returned from the bathroom. Chris said that he's a very good looking guy. Cole said the same about Chris. Robin said here was more chemistry there.
Howard said this gets weirder and weirder. He said Tan Mom confronted Cole about maybe being gay. Howard played the clip and Cole said that he doesn't have any other boyfriends or girlfriends. He said that he's only with Patricia. He said he has a satchel purse and an ear ring but he's very straight edged. He said she has nothing to worry about.
Howard said Tan Mom sang to Cole on the drive home. He played that and said she's really into him.
Howard said the guys left them with a lot of questions. He said a week later after they went to Miami they heard from Cole. He played a clip of Cole talking about how he was in way too deep with this whole thing. He said that he was out to lunch with the Stern Show guys. He said he loves whoever he was on the phone with.
Wolfie said they found this audio a week later. He said when Chris played it the whole thing was just blown up. He said when Tan Mom kissed Cole on the cheek he was not into it at all.
Howard got Tan Mom on the phone to find out what was going on there. Tan Mom asked what that last message was. She said that's so rude. She said that what's going on is that they weren't dating. She said that she has to get her mind clear. She said when they met she still had questions if he was gay or not. She said she wanted to know if he was with her or not. She said they still haven't fooled around yet. She said nothing is going on. She said she keeps missing the right person. Howard said now he understands. He thanked her for her clarity.
Howard asked Tan Mom about her bad sense of people. He said she has trouble finding people who are really into her. Tan Mom said she wants to have fun with a younger person. She said she's not old.
Howard asked if she appreciates her late husband now. Tan Mom said she really does. She said that she saw some flaws that went on but you don't know what she dealt with at home. Howard said thank god.
Wolfie said that Tan Mom is also thinking she is texting with Jack Nicholson but he's not sure it's the real guy. Howard asked what's going on between them. Tan Mom said that whenever she replies to his comments he answers very quickly. Howard asked what they talk about. Tan Mom said that he does a show. She said that he talks about wonderful things. She said she always rebuttals. Howard asked how great it would be if she went to the Lakers games with Jack. Tan Mom said that would be crazy.
Howard said Jack would fuck her hard. Tan Mom said that first date would be just fine. Howard said if a guy doesn't kiss you in 4 months then maybe move on.
Chris said that Cole did DM him after their date. He said that maybe it is time for Tan Mom to move on. Howard said Jack is a suitable suitor for her. He said he's got a nice house and money. He said that she's not looking for any of that.
Howard asked Tan Mom about how many times a day she DMs Jack. Tan Mom said maybe twice. Howard asked if he's suggested getting together. Tan Mom said that she's not sure about that.
Howard said the Tan Mom picture on the couch is on HowardStern.com. He said it took him a full minute to see her. Howard said you have to see it. Chris said he wants a Pulitzer for that since he took the shot.
Howard asked if people think she's African American. Tan Mom said they do ask what she is. She said she's 100 percent Polish.
Howard asked if tanning has defined her life. Tan Mom said she likes to go chill out. Howard asked if she's going to get the full blast of sun if she goes out. Tan Mom said she's into boating now. She said she likes to go out in the sun. Howard asked if she wears any sun protection. Tan Mom said no.
Howard had some audio of Tan Mom singing about tanning. He played that and then answered a knock at the door. It was fake Rosie O'Donnell. She was asking questions about sex and stuff and having her moan with her. Howard said he doesn't want to ruin the mood but Tan Mom is a big Trump supporter. Rosie said she can bypass that. She said she'll go down on her until she turns white again. Robin asked if there's any part of her body that is still white. Chris said her liver.
Howard took a call from Cole who said that he just walked out of the gym. He said that he just got the call. Howard asked what's going on here. He said that it seems he was talking to someone on the phone and he wants to know what was going on there. Cole said he's not sure what they were talking about. He said when he said he was in too deep he was in too deep in love with Patricia. Chris asked what the ''blind thing'' was that he didn't go with. Cole said he doesn't recall what that was. He said maybe he was blinded by love. Robin asked why he was so distressed in the bathroom on that call during the brunch. Cole said it was like a dream come true. He said yeah, that's it.
Howard asked Tan Mom what she has to say about all of this. She said they're great friends and she'd like to talk to him to work things out. Howard said Cole has to go over and rub those titties and put his penis in her pussy. Tan Mom said it's been too long. Cole said that he was just waiting for the right time. He said she's very special. Howard asked why he's DM'ing Chris Wilding. Chris said he's so cute. Cole said that he was asking him what his favorite sport was and Chris said that he said something about seeing him golf with no shirt on. Howard said he's not sure what's going on there.
Howard said he thinks Tan Mom has a better shot with Jack Nicholson. He said that she's better off with him. He said that Cole isn't doing it for her. Howard said just break up with her now. Cole said that he will say that he loves her but maybe Howard is right and they should just stay friends. Tan Mom said she already said that. Robin said now she's free to go find other people. Tan Mom said they're still friends.
Robin asked if Cole still has a libido. Cole said of course he does. Robin asked how he satisfies himself. Cole said that's a difficult question. Chris said he always sounds like he's under deposition.
Howard asked how far they got in the sex thing. Tan Mom said he did get hard when she touched him. She said that she grabbed his penis in the car one time. She said that she was playing with his head. Howard asked what Cole said when she did that. Tan Mom said he's just a shy guy. She said that no man she's ever met has been like that. She said it's just very odd.
Howard asked Cole if it felt good. Cole said of course it did. Chris said he called his dad after that. Howard said thanks to Cole for the update. He said he thinks he understands but not really. He said he doesn't know what the fuck is going on here.
Chris asked if Cole wants to go out on a date. Cole said come on down to Miami again and they'll go out.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was apparently fake Jack Nicholson who sounded about as much like Jack as Tan Mom's DMs. Howard let that go on for a short time.
Howard let Jack go and said that's a man right there. He said that Cole seems like a nice guy but he has his ex girlfriend on the phone. He took a call from a guy who said his name was Sally. He said that he's jealous of Tan Mom hearing this. Howard bailed on that bit pretty quick.
Howard said he agrees that they should just remain friends. He said Tan Mom should keep going with the Jack Nicholson DMs and see if she can go out with him.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said this picture of Tan Mom on the couch is insane. He said he thought they put the wrong one up. He said it looks like a dead body on the couch. He asked if she wears makeup at all. Tan Mom said not at all. Ralph said that she can't possibly get that tan. He said you can barely see her there.
Howard said Tan Mom claims that she used to party with Robert De Niro. She said when she lived in L.A. She was like 25 and she had a great body back then. She said she went to his house in Beverly Hills. She said they went to his house and that's about all she's done. She said that everyone in L.A. is so lax. She said you get into the limo and that's not a big deal. She said they all just kicked back and went to whoever's house.
Howard said De Niro does like black woman. He said Tan Mom is a white black woman. He said she has the features of a black woman. He said that she's like a universal human being.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he saw the picture and it looks like a mummy sitting on the couch. He asked what's going on with her face. Howard said she does blend into the couch. He said she's like the invisible woman. He said there's no reason to bad mouth her. Howard said this is an amazing thing.
Howard said there will be no tan shaming on the show. He said we don't shame people who tan. He said that she has a right to her freedom and we don't shame tan people. He said she is now dating Jack Nicholson and he wants people to show her some respect. Chris said this is like the people who bad mouth women like Emily Ratajkowski.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik who said that he was jerking off to Tan Mom thinking about her. Howard asked if she would date Erik. Tan Mom said she's too busy but he is gorgeous. Howard said what a shame.
Howard answered a knock at the door and fake Robert De Niro was there talking about how he remembers her. He said he could have her baby too. Howard let him go a short time later. Howard said he liked that impression.
Howard thanked Cole for calling in. He said don't be shy with Chris either. He said he can contact him now. He said he hopes that Tan Mom finds love. He said keep up that relationship with Jack Nicholson. Howard asked if she can read anything that he wrote to her. Tan Mom said she can't go back on her phone or she'll lose him. Tan Mom said he sends a lot of hearts and emojis. Howard said that has to be him then.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake Jack again. Howard talked to him about the emojis thing. Jack was responding to Howard in emojis during that conversation.
Howard asked Tan Mom about the DMs that she's getting and if they say they're from Jack. She said that it does say his name.
Howard asked how the guy spells Nicholson. Tan Mom said it might be NICKELSON. Howard said that's got to be him. He said that he has to go. He thanked Cole and Tan Mom again. Tan Mom said she loves them.
Howard said Cole put in months with her. He said that he's not sure what was going on there. He said that he appreciates Tan Mom. He said it seems like she's very gullible though. Chris said he wants to know what the story is with fake Jack. She said that he's an impersonator. He said he knows the story there. He said he just looks like Jack. He said he's not sure why he's DM'ing her but that's who she's talking to.
Howard got Cole back on the line and asked why he put so many months in with Tan Mom. Cole said she's a really nice person and he doesn't want to see anyone take advantage of her. He said she's a great person. He said that he thinks that there was a love connection there. Howard said cool. He said he's thinking that he got nervous with them showing up and he was calling his dad to talk about it. He said that's when he talked about being in too deep.
Howard said he would like to see Cole hook up with Robin. He said she'd want his sausage in the first day though. Cole said that it might be different with Robin. Howard asked if he's gay at all. Cole said no and he's not sure where that came from. He said with Chris you never know though.
Howard let Cole go and said they have a fabulous picture of Tan Mom on the couch and you have to see that on HowardStern.com. Chris said if you look at that with the video it's a remarkable thing. He said she blends in and out with the couch.
Howard said no one has a darker tan than she does. He said it's really remarkable. Chris said he loves that Cole said he loves what she stands for.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he went to the website to see the picture and he wasn't able to find it. He said then he realized it was that one and you can't see her in it. He said she's really there.
Chris said that it's a remarkable photo. He said it reminds him of that woman's dress that caused an uproar on the internet a few years ago. Howard said it looks like that couch with eyes on Pee Wee's Playhouse. Gary said it's called Chairy. Howard said you can see the real life Chairy on the web site.
Howard played the Tan Mom song about tanning again. He answered another knock at the door and it was fake Jack Nicholson again. He went off on Chris for saying he's not real. He was using emojis to talk to them again. Howard let him go pretty quickly.
Howard said he had a crappy car and he'd have to put oil in it. Chris said he had a car that leaked oil too. He said he had to put a mat under it in the driveway.
Howard said he didn't read the fan mail. He said he didn't play the Trump phony phone call. He said he'll play that tomorrow. He said he can read some fan mail. He said that people enjoyed the Tina Turner eulogy. He read some feedback about that.
Howard said they have a lot of cool stuff on the app. He said they have Madison Cunningham covering a Tina Turner song. He said she has a beautiful voice. He said she opened for Harry Styles in 2021. He said that he has a little of that to play. He played the clip. Howard said you can see that performance on the app.
Howard said as a final Tina Turner memory he has this Mariann from Brooklyn performance. He played her singing a Tina Turner song with lyrics about him being better than anyone. Howard said all he hears is ''Howard'' in that song.
Howard said he got a shit load of mail about Sam's mom. He read through some of that. He read some feedback about the Taylor Swift conversation they had yesterday. One guy wrote in about how he got COVID from going to a Taylor Swift concert but it was worth it.
Howard said he has some audio from outside the Philly concert where people were singing. He said that was in the parking lot. He said people were just out there singing along. He said he doesn't understand that. He said he never thought to stand out there and listen. He said there are people who do that apparently. Robin said she never would.
Howard said they were talking about the waiting lines at the stadiums. He said a couple of months ago Steve Balmer bragged about how their new stadium would have a ton of toilets. He played the audio and didn't understand what he said.
Howard said he knows Jamie Foxx is having issues but he wanted to say that he thinks that he's one of the greatest actors out there. He said he hopes he's okay. He said he knows people are saying he's fine but then someone else said he heard that he had a stroke. He said he's not sure what the real story is. He said he wishes him well. He said he's a great guy. He said he's a big fan. Robin said he's a generous man too. Howard said it sounds fucked up whatever it is. He said he gets that people may not want to share it with the world.
Howard said he was also fascinated by this news about Trump's lawyers meeting with the Department of Justice. He said this one heavy set dude was one of his lawyers and there's a woman in a red pant suit with blond hair. He said she's a 10. He said she's super hot. He said that she tripped on the steps and stumbled. He said the media kept showing it over and over again and he thinks it's because she was so hot. He asked if he's crazy. He said that woman should be in Playboy or something. He said she's really hot. Howard asked if anyone knows who that is. He got the name which was Lindsay Halligan. He said she's really hot. He said she has a law degree from Boner University. He said she's super hot.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Trump who was talking about the women he hires and why they're so hot. He was blaming everything bad on Biden while he was there. Howard did that bit for a few minutes.
Howard asked JD if he has nay info on that lawyer. JD did have some information. He read her bio to Howard. Howard asked if there's any bra size info out there or anything. JD said he'll Google it. Howard said it's almost like Trump saw this woman on TV doing a commercial and just hired her. JD said there are some hot pictures of her out here. He said she has some cleavage showing in one shot. Howard said oh my god. Robin said she could be a model. Howard said you're not kidding. He asked what her height is. JD said this is from some weird web site. He said she's a Gemini. He said according to this web site they say that she is 5'5'' tall. Howard said that's why she's not a model. JD said she's 55kg. Howard said that's great. He said like he can convert that.
JD mentioned something about the NCAA so Howard ended up talking about basketball and how he might start watching again. He said he heard Miami was doing well.
Howard said he heard that JD is collecting art now. JD said he likes all types of art. He said he likes pop art kind of stuff and some other things. He said he can't think of it now. Howard asked if it's real art like Picasso stuff. JD said he knows what he likes when he sees it. He said that he hasn't made any purchases yet. He said he'd like to have real art but it's very expensive.
Howard asked who he likes. JD said there's some stuff out there that this guy paints. He explained it to Howard in his special way of explaining things. Howard said he heard he's wiling to spend up to 5 grand on something. Howard said he thinks he's paying him too much if he can afford to spend 5 grand on art. He said that's enough about Lindsay too. He asked if she's married. JD said on the web site it says she's unmarried.
Jason said he has some art that Blitt sent him that JD likes. Howard said there's a picture of The Hulk and Spider Man in a bathroom peeing and Spider Man is freaking out about the size of Hulk's cock.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he watched Private Parts last night for the first time. He asked how he didn't get hard in every scene. Howard said he was hard in every scene. He said he's very proud of that movie. He asked where he saw it. The caller said it's on Paramount+. He said it was weird though because they had one in his outfit and one didn't. He didn't understand that.
The caller asked if they had people walk by when the Kielbasa Queen did her thing. Howard said in real life no. He said he thinks they didn't have her at WNBC. Gary said they didn't have her there. Howard said at WNBC they had studio tours and they had people walk by the show. He said they had naked people in there and stuff so they closed the curtains. He said for the movie they combined some things. He said they had her on at K-Rock. He said no one saw anything there.
Howard said things were weird at WNBC. He said the lawyer wanted to sit in during nude people segments. Gary said it was really weird to ask to see stuff that no one was going to see.
The caller asked more questions about the movie and if they really happened. Howard said they combined a bunch of stuff into the movie so it wasn't exactly his career. He said all of those things happened but not necessarily to that person. He said they changed some names in it too. He let the caller go after that.
Howard said he really is proud of that movie. He said he should have done another one. He said it was fun to make but he had a lot of anxiety over that movie. He said it took a few years off his life. He said he was very involved. Robin said he was working the radio show every morning and then working on the movie. She said he was working every weekend too. Howard said go check it out on Paramount+. He said they have to fix that app. He said you can't watch anything when you download it.
Howard wrapped up the show and finished around 10:30am.
Howard said even in Manhattan they're saying that it's the world's worst air quality at this point. He said they're telling people not to go outside. He said they say that if you go outside and breathe it in it's like having 6 cigarettes. He said he used to smoke 3 packs a day. He said 6 isn't so much. He asked how gross that is.
Howard said he had no idea they'd be affected by that. He said he thought that the world would be set up perfectly for him when he got older but now they've had a pandemic and now this. He said he has all of these excuses not to leave the house. He said now he can stay in because of this smoke. Howard said he's full on mentally ill now. Robin said they call that Agoraphobic.
Howard said his OCD is worse now than ever. He said his psychiatrist isn't helping. He said that he's running out of time with this. He said he can't walk outside without tapping 3 times. He said he has to leave the house because his wife is getting fed up with him too. He said he's a fucking nut job.
Howard said there's this artist named Jelly Roll who he's into lately. He said this guy was on American Idol. He said he's pretty good. He said you have to get into him. He said here's one of his songs. He played ''Son of a Sinner.'' He said this is a huge fat guy who was in jail. He said he's kind of happy for him.
Howard said JD was telling him he thinks this guy is married to a porn star or something. Howard said JD looks good. JD said he did get a tan down in Miami. He said it might be the lighting. Howard said he looks kind of handsome in a way. He said his hair grew back fast. He said he looks good with the hair that length. JD said he may shave it down a little shorter. He said he won't go all the way. Howard said leave it the length it is. He said that's what it should be. Robin agreed that he looks good.
Howard said JD is also fasting and losing weight. JD said he was 215 yesterday. He said he's not sure ho much it's helping him.
Howard said Jelly Roll is married to this woman named Bonnie. He said maybe JD should get some tattoos like that guy. JD said he isn't going to do that. He said he was at the gathering of the Juggalos too. Howard said they may have to get him in there.
Howard asked JD what he was in jail for. JD didn't know. Howard said he can go now. He got some info on the guy and read through some of the details. There was an aggravated robbery charge in there when he was like 16 years old.
Howard said his parents got robbed a bunch of times when they lived in Rockville Centre. He said he was away at college. He said you'd ask why they didn't get an alarm system. He said that would have worked but his mother was so kooky that she didn't want that in her house. He said he used to call his mom over the years and it looked like he wasn't taking care of his parents. He said he tried but they refused to get things like that.
Howard said his old man had plenty of money but he wouldn't spend it. He said that his other would complain about the house not being updated so he'd step in and help out. He said his dad was okay with it but he had the money. He said he did it lovingly because he thought that they didn't have money. He said his dad was saving up and buying Disney stock and stuff. He said he had money. He said he thought he had like 3 shares of the stock. He said he had money.
Howard said he bought his dad a Cadillac or something for them. He said he bought them 2. He said he was thinking he had to take the hit on that. He said he had bills to pay but he had to buy his dad something nice. He said he didn't want him driving around in a shit box.
Howard said then his parents got robbed. He said his father had a safe in the basement. He said he kept it open. He said he didn't want that thinking that the robbers would want to break it open. He said they think he has money that way. He said he told him to have it moved out of the house. He didn't want to get rid of it because it would cost money to get rid of it. He said they got robbed anyway. He said there was one point that they had so many robberies that his mom had no good jewelry left. He said he bought her some stuff. He said a month later they got cleaned out again.
Howard said he suggested that they get an alarm system but his mom didn't want that. He said she refused and said no one was going to chase them out of town. He did his impression of his mom telling him she didn't want that.
Howard said his mom said she wasn't attached to personal possessions. He had to keep replacing them for them though. He said that his mother said she doesn't negotiate with terrorists. He said he does though.
Howard said his mother didn't want to be locked in a house like a prisoner. He said that they were going to keep getting robbed then. He said they got their come uppance. He said he got a call in the middle of the night. He said it was 2 or 3 in the morning and a few dudes woke them up with knives to their throats. He said he that's how bad it was. He said there's something wrong with them if they don't do something after that. He said his father told them where the keys to the car were. He said he gave them the jewelry too.
Howard said he finally asked if they were going to get an alarm system and his mom still said no. He said they could have been killed. He said the cops ended up catching the dudes. He said they were hitting everyone and they fucked up and caught them with his parents car or something. He said it turns out they weren't so bright. Robin said criminals often aren't so bright.
Howard said they finally got an alarm system and they never got robbed again. He said his mom figured out how to work it. He said she got her air and all of that. He said they didn't care they got robbed since he was paying for it. Robin said sometimes it's not that. She said she got her mom some diamonds and she opened up the box and said they were nice but then said don't get her that kind of stuff because it makes her a target.
Howard said he just knows if he got a knife to the throat that he'd get an alarm system. He said his parents never had a sense of danger for him. He said they had such shitty lives that having a knife to their throat in the middle of the night wasn't so bad.
Howard said he brings that up to his mom and she doesn't even remember the story. He said that's how little it meant to her. He said that when your life is so shitty you don't even think about horrible stuff like that. Howard went into his impression of his parents and told the horror stories that they'd tell.
Howard said his dad blew out his own eye as a young boy. He said when you do that you don't even think being robbed is that bad. He said it's fucked up. He said everything is fucked up.
Howard said he's not sure how he got into this but he was talking about the wildfires in Canada. He said he didn't believe that it could affect them but it does. He said that he didn't think the air from other countries could get out and get to us. He said Canada should become part of the United States. He said he used to think that but now maybe not so much. He said he thought they'd be better off.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Whoopi Goldberg who said she loves the smoke because it reminds her of her vape pen. She took some hits off of that. Howard let her go a short time later.
Robin said they're trying to tell people that marijuana is a bad thing now. She said they're saying it's a toxin. Howard said good luck putting that genie back in the bottle. He said people who smoke weed love weed. He said that's it. He said he has friends who smoke and it's insane and they build their whole lives around it. He said he had his drug days and he's not really proud of it but he did it. He said he wishes he had never done any of it. He said that he doesn't drink or smoke anything now. He said he's a barrel of laughs.
Howard said people who love their weed really love it. He said Seth Rogen has build a life around it. He said he's an anomaly. He said he has friends who smoke and their lives are a mess. He said some people are helped by smoking pot and that's great. He said there are some who get LSD treatments and they don't need weed now.
Howard said her's a guy in Canada. He took the call and asked how bad it is up there. The caller said it's rough up there. He explained where he is and how close he is. He said it's been hazing across the past couple of days. He said today is really bad. He said it smells like you're out at a camp fire. Howard said he's way out on Long Island and he's getting it down there. He said he thought his house was on fire.
Robin said they had a Yankees game last night and the players had to breathe that in. Howard told the caller to get it under control up there. The guy said they'll work on it. Robin said maybe put a wall up or something to keep the smoke inside.
The caller said every morning they get up and the sun is coming up but now it's just a weird color out there. The guy was a farmer so he told Howard some stories. Howard said he forgets that farming is a job.
Howard said they're getting 6 cigarettes worth of smoke down there but up there it must be worse. The caller said that it is pretty bad up there. He said he can't do much for his animals. Howard asked if the milk smells like smoke. The caller said that it's all sealed up. He said the smoke doesn't get into it. He said working around it is hard though.
Howard said it must feel really good to be milked. He said the cows must love that. He said it's like taking a piss. He said it's a relief. He said they have those big udders. The caller said it must. Howard asked if he has a wife. The caller said he's a gay farmer actually. He said he doesn't have a wife. Howard said this guy does sound like he's very happy for a guy whose country is on fire. The guy, Bright, said he is. He said there's no reason to be down about everything. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said you forget that people are actually milking cows to get people milk and yogurt and stuff. He said you'd think there would be some kind of machine to do that. Robin said there are milking machines. Fred played the Green Acres theme song. Howard sang the song and made up some lyrics about Bright the gay farmer.
Howard said he'd watch a reality show about gay farmers. He said he's very pro-gay. He said he's glad that guy is happy. He said he wants everyone to be happy. He said he's all for gay people. He said we have such a short time on this planet. He said just be gay and leave people alone if you're not.
Howard said the pride parade is a good idea and he'll tell you why. He said it's about gay people celebrating and being proud of who they are. He said good for them. He said you want people feeling good about themselves, not shitty. He said he doesn't get all of this religious hocus pocus. Robin said if God is really handling everything then let him handle them the way he wants.
Howard said Dave Matthews is coming in at 9 and he'll be playing some stuff. He said he has a new album out. He said he'll be doing a cover of a Willie Nelson song. He said he's looking forward to that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's up north where the smoke is really bad. He said it's ashy and you can't breathe. He said it's bright yellow outside. Howard asked if they know how the wildfires started. He said he imagines it's some campers who threw their cigarettes out on the ground or something. The caller said they had a fire ban weeks ago. He said it's been very dry up there and it could have been lightning strikes or something. Howard said he would blow up the moon if he were president and that might stop lightning.
Howard said he has a woman on the phone whose voice has been affected by the fires. It was Mariann from Brooklyn who said the sun was pure orange last night when she was going home. Howard asked if you'd rather have the smoke smell or urine smell in the city. Mariann said the smoke.
Mariann said that Howard has to watch Vanderpump Rules. Howard said he's not into that. He said he won't be doing that. Mariann said that Howard 101 is having a Summer School contest. Howard cut her off and said he has an agenda and he's not sure what she's talking about.
Howard said half of the wildfires up there are caused by humans. He said the others are caused by lightning. He said there are a lot of douche bags out there. He said we need Smoky the Bear to come back.
Howard said he was reading this article about Arnold and the documentary. He said Arnold talks extensively about how his father was a part of the Nazi party. He said he was talking about how horrible his father was. He said he was talking about the horrors of World War II and how awful his father was. He said then he started reading the comments on the story. He said they were saying that he was disgracing his father. Howard said people were saying that he was wrong for trashing his dad. He said what a bunch of fucking whackos we have in this world. He said Arnold's father was an awful person and he's opening up about that. He said it's such a bizarre thing.
Howard said we live in such a wacky world. Jon Hein said he watched that documentary and they split it into three parts. He said he talks about his dad and mom and how involved in the war they were. He said he gets very reflective and candid in it. He said that he got nothing from his dad at all. He said his mother was dealing with that and she had two sons to deal with. He said you see him turn into the physical marvel he turned into and he was channeling all of that into his body building. He said you forget how massive he was when he was Mr. Olympia and all of that.
Jon said then you see him turn into an actor and he was a joke. He said then he turns into an action star and then into the governor of California. He said he just went out and did it and watching that journey is impressive.
Howard said he's just blown away how people twist things around. He said Arnold puts it into perspective. Robin said people are so into these little things like honoring your mother and father and all of that. Howard said the take away for them is that you should honor your father.
Howard asked Jon if he was inspired to get into shape and lose weight after seeing that documentary. Jon was not.
Jon said Robin will be happy to know that Arnold thinks that Last Action Hero was one of his best films. Robin said that she heard that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has been married 25 years and he left his house and his wife said that she can't go out because of the smoke but she smokes a pack and a half of cigarettes a day. He said he just wanted to put that into perspective.
Howard said he's sure Greta Thunberg is on fire over this whole thing. Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Greta who said they all deserve this in America. Howard let her go immediately.
Howard played the call and they had fake Donald Trump talking to this guy about going to prison and the guy told him that it's not like what you see on TV. He told fake Trump about what it's really like in there. They had fake Trump asking questions about prison and what that would be like for him. The scared straight guy told him he was going to federal prison and it's going to be bad. The call went on and on with the two going back and forth about what prison was going to be like.
Howard said that was scaring him. He played more of the call that had been broken up into different parts because it went on so long. The scared straight guy told fake Trump about preparing to go into prison. The scared straight guy got pissed at fake Trump and said he'd come through that phone and beat the shit out of him. He said he deserves to go to prison. He ended up hanging up on fake Trump. Howard said some people you just can't scare.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and sang along with the Bowie song. He said he loves Bowie and can't believe he's not around now. He said he watched a lot of his interviews on YouTube. He said he had some nasty teeth when he was young. He said he got them fixed later in life. He said he literally had orange teeth. Robin said that was the norm in England at the time.
Howard said he had in his mind a whole agenda for the show but that plan went out the window when he was talking to the guys. He said they were talking about pride month and they told him that JD wants to kiss Chris on the mouth for Pride month. He asked JD what's going on. JD said he doesn't really want to. Chris said that he put up a note as a joke and no one picked up on it but then JD said he would have made out with him for pride. He said he was amazed by that. Howard said he is too. JD said he's showing that he's an ally. He said that's all that is.
Howard said JD is a friend to the gay community. He asked if there will be tongue. JD said no but he will kiss him. He said he won't be caressing his head or anything.
Howard asked Chris if he thinks JD has a big cock. Chris said he does. He said he thinks that he proved that when he wore that Speedo down in Miami. JD said it's average.
Howard said JD is very progressive. He said he's supportive of Pride Month but he's not kissing Chris. JD said he was just making conversation with Chris after he posed that thing.
Howard said in honor of pride month they're gong to kiss. Chris asked if JD wants to lead. JD said he doesn't care. They went back and forth on that for a few seconds. Howard asked if he's going to take the male role or something. Chris said that's the way it usually works. JD said he's not going to be submissive. He said he will be the man if he wants. He said he's not sure. He said he just wants to get it over with. Chris said he can be the femme one.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said there has to be tongue here. He said there's no celebration if there's no tongue. JD said it's not happening. Howard said they can just see what happens. JD said it's not happening.
Howard said he has things to get to so we have to get this done. He had Chris lead. Chris asked if he has permission to do this. JD said he does. Chris went in for the kiss and JD said ''Jesus!'' JD said that he had an open mouth. He said his mouth was more open than his was. Howard asked how he liked it. JD said it was fine but weird. He said it was fine in that sense. He said it was weird that it was Chris. Chris said it got real so he pushed him away. JD said he felt his lips open up so he pushed him away.
Howard answered a knock at the door and fake Ron DeSantis went off on them for kissing on the show. He said they're indoctrinating their children. Howard said he's just honoring the LGBTQ people. Fake DeSantis said JD is no longer allowed in Florida. He said he's being deported to California. Chris said that he is the staff groomer. Howard let fake DeSantis go a short time later.
Howard said the Dave Matthews guitar tuner is in here while all of this is going on. Chris said he apologizes to him over that. Howard said he doesn't have to do that.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake Rosie O'Donnell who wanted to make out with Robin. Howard ended that bit quickly.
Chris said he posted that thing as a joke and JD really came through. He said that he was really shocked that he came through for that.
Howard said Chris' face is very flush. He asked if he's turned on by JD. Chris said he isn't but he did put that post up so he must be in some way. Howard asked if he would fuck JD. Chris said if he has a good penis maybe.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it as fake Joe Pesci who asked JD to play his cock like a Nintendo 64. He said he didn't know JD swung that way but he was turned on by it. He said he wants to shoot a load all over his nerd belly. JD told him to calm down over there. Howard closed the fake door on him a short time later.
Howard said he heard that JD took break dancing lessons as a child. JD said he did. He said he can't do it now. Howard asked him to do something. JD did some moves to the tune of ''Bust a Move.''
Howard said this is crazy. Chris said it is kind of nuts. Howard asked if JD spun around on his back when he took lessons. JD said he may have. He said he thinks he quit after 2 lessons. Chris asked if he hit his head because that would explain a lot. JD said he didn't but he did fall down the stairs as a kid.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik who said that he would come in to make out with Chris. Chris said he's not into that. He said that he's not that into pride month. Howard said Erik and Chris could make out. Howard asked if Chris would be into that. Chris said he's not looking for that experience. He said that Erik wanted to go to the pride parade with him and Andy Cohen. Howard said they should make that happen.
Howard asked Erik if he would rather fuck Tan Mom or Chris. Erik said it is pride month so it's Chris Wilding.
Howard had fake Jennifer Witz there who was talking about how the stock is going through the roof after this JD and Chris kiss. She said they're going to have him do all kinds of gay stuff on the show now. Howard said they'll get right on that.
Howard said he's thinking about the guitar tech in there. He said he was stuck in there while they were making out. Robin said he didn't hear the whole thing either. Howard said for all he knows they're having a clandestine affair.
Howard read more feedback about Tan Mom and said he has some bonus clips about her. He said Chris and Wolfie were asking her about her beauty regimen. He said she went into a pro-Trump rant out of nowhere during that discussion. He played the clip where she was talking about doing a detox and that led to her going off on Biden. She said she wants Trump back. She said there is no other option. She said that they don't want that chick that talks too much to be President. She said everyone just shut the fuck up.
Howard said he thinks she was talking about Kamala Harris. He said that she called her a colored woman so that must be who she was talking about. He said Tan Mom is a colored woman as well.
Howard said Wolfie's mom called him during a lunch they were at so they put her on with Tan Mom since she's a Trump supporter as well. Howard played a clip of those two talking about Trump.
Howard said the conversation got even more intense. He played a clip of Tan Mom talking about Kamala Harris but not knowing her name. The two of them were talking about how crazy Biden and Harris are. Not very self aware these two.
Howard said people also wrote in about the crazy public hearings clips he played. He read through some of the feedback about that segment.
Howard said people wrote in about Victoria Jackson and someone asked if she was on the show one time. Howard said she was. He played some audio from that interview from many years ago. Howard asked her what she would do if her kids were gay. She said they'd pray about it.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Trump who was thanking Tan Mom and Wolfie's mom for being fans. Howard asked how he's holding up knowing that he can be indicted any day now. Fake Trump went on and on about that. Howard said they may end up locking him up. He said he used to yell ''Lock her up'' but now he may get locked up. Fake Trump and Howard went back and forth talking about all of that stuff. Trump was claiming that he invented a bunch of things he didn't invent. He was rambling about a bunch of nonsense.
Howard said he has to get to Dave Matthews soon but he wants to know how he felt when the FBI raided Mar-A-Lago. Fake Trump went on a rant about that. He said they should be called First we Break In. He said they stoke his rubber ducky and his paperwork that was classified. He said they kept it on his desk. Howard said he knows he has a meeting with his lawyers right now so he'll let him go.
Howard said they had a lot of love for fake Trump and Jack Nicholson yesterday. He read through some of that feedback.
Howard said the band The Hives did a concert in their studio. He said that will be airing on Friday night on Howard 101. He said they are very entertaining. He said the lead singer is really entertaining. He said that they were all wearing suits and they had a design on them. Jon Hein said that they were musical notes. He said it's stripes and musical notes.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked if they can get fake Trump back to talk about Chris Christie getting into the race. Howard said give him a minute and he'll get him back.
Howard spent a little more time talking about The Hives. He said the lead singer is awesome. He said he hit himself in the head with a microphone the other day and he kept going with the show.
Howard had fake Trump back at he door so he asked him about the Chris Christie thing. Fake Trump went on and on about the names they can call him. He was making a lot of jokes about his weight. He had Ralph cracking up. Robin said all he said last night was that he was a failed governor. She said Trump must have gone to the writing room after that.
Howard said what's amazing is that Chris was kind to him helping him with the debates and now they hate each other. Trump said he might forgive him. He said there's a chance he may not throw him in prison if he gets elected again. Howard said he really goes after people when they don't agree with him.
Trump claimed the Chinese spy balloon was actually Chris Christie. He had Ralph cracking up over that. Howard let Trump go on for a little more time making jokes about Christie. Fake Trump had them all cracking up with the awful names.
Howard said this is all very insulting. Trump continued to make fun. Howard said he's sure that he'd say nice things to him if he saw him in person. Howard said he's so vicious. He let him go a short time later.
Howard said that guy is vicious. He took a call from a woman who said that she is so excited that two of her favorite people are on air. She said that's Howard and Dave Matthews. She said she got up early to listen. Howard said it's been 5 years since he spoke to Dave. He said he's going to get to that now. He let the caller go and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said it's been 5 years since Dave Matthews was on the show. He said he's listening to that song and thinking that Dave did a cover of that song with Brandi Carlile. Dave said he did it with a few people but Brandi was his favorite. Howard said he lives near her. Dave said he does but he doesn't have a plot of land where she lives like others do. He said he has been able to visit.
Howard said he thinks that song really moves him. He said he had to tell him that he was on the Brandi bandwagon early on. He said he feels like he has to tell him that. Dave said he was too. He said he had someone introduce him to her music and he had a friend who told him that he turned him on to her even earlier and he was pissed about it. He said he got over it though.
Howard said that Dave must have fans like that who were there early on. Dave said he does have some possessive fans. He said he'd like to welcome people to the fold if they come in later.
Howard said Dave will do cover versions and he seems to be fearless when he does them. He said he saw him with James Brown doing Sex Machine at Madison Square Garden. He said he will do all kinds of music too. He said he does songs that he'd never think he'd cover.
Howard asked if he does that because he was a busker on the streets. Dave said when he busked he was just playing Watchtower over and over again. He said the band he plays with can play all kinds of stuff. He said that he just tries a lot of songs. He said he's afraid all the time.
Howard said he can't imagine that he's nervous performing. He said he read a stat about him and how he was the biggest ticket seller worldwide. He said once you do that nothing can make you nervous. He said that's what he figured anyway. Dave said that sometimes it can feel effortless. He said other times he feels like he's running through some sort of thicket and he can't get out. He said usually it's in his head when things aren't going well.
Howard said sometimes he thinks he sucked after doing a show. He said he thinks he wasn't funny and he was boring. He said he will beat the shit out of himself. He said he just felt something wasn't right. Dave said he's not sure what that is. He said maybe hole punchers have the same bad day kind of thing.
Howard said Carter seems to be a happy guy when he plays drums. He said that he was playing with James Brown. He said he looked so happy. He said he watched that video like 50 times. He said that's how good it was. The guys played some of that clip. Dave said that place was rocking so hard that you could feel the stage moving. He said it was physically moving.
Howard asked how that all worked. Dave told Howard how they had to rehears with him and he came up and he was just beaming after doing that song. He said it was the greatest gift to them. He said he was fired up that he rocked the house so long. Howard said he was such a great entertainer. Howard asked how he had him show up at that show. Dave said he thinks he was in town so they asked to get him there. He said their people talked. He said he doesn't know exactly but he'll blame his manager. He said he thinks they put the invitation out and he came.
Howard said they looked so happy during that moment. He said it was infectious. He asked if they rehearsed. Dave said they had his music director come. He said they got it right. He said they knew all the hits. He said they wanted to get it right. He said they got it right too. Howard said you don't want to fuck that up.
Howard said when he does Father and Son it's mind blowing. He said Cat Stevens was great. Dave said that album gives him goose bumps. He said he loved Cat Stevens. He said when he started to obsess about music he fell in love with Cat Stevens music. He said he was obsessed with the Beatles and then Cat. He said he got to induct him into the writers hall of fame and he was losing his mind over that. Howard said that's what he wants to know about. He said he can't imagine what that must have been like. Dave said he has no idea how he got that. He said Cat was very nice to him about the whole thing.
Howard asked Dave about singing ''Father and Son'' and if it had special meaning to him because he lost his father at 10 years old. Dave said it was about conflict too. He said he didn't have that but the song grabbed him. He said he hasn't played it in a long time but that was the first song he learned to play. Howard played some of Dave performing that song. Howard said he used to try to play that song. He said it turns out there were two dudes playing that song together so it was hard to play. Dave said he has help with that too. He said he likes to have other guys doing the heavy lifting for him.
Howard and Dave paused while the good part of the song came. Howard said he loves that he didn't want to talk over himself. Dave said now he feels compelled to talk over it.
Howard said Dave loved Cat and it had to be surreal to perform in front of him. Dave said that's what working hard was all about. He said he ended up where he is and now he gets to meet all of these crazy people. He said his 10 year old self couldn't imagine that. He said he wore out Neil Young's albums at home.
Howard said Cat Stevens left the business at his height. He said he completely abandoned the whole thing. He asked how many people can do that. Dave said that Cat had some smash hits and then he had some other songs that were all about his searching for something. He said he was trying to figure out where he was in the universe. He said he was asking profound questions in his songs.
Howard said he must admire Cat Stevens as a guitar player. He said Dave doesn't look to shred like Eddie Van Halen. Dave said he admires Eddie but he never had that desire to do that. He said he wanted to just sing over something and that's what he plays. He said he wanted to be a piano player first but then he wanted to be a rock star at 8 or whenever he picked up a guitar.
Howard said Willie Nelson is a great guitar player but people don't think of that. Dave said he's a mind boggling player. He said Willie is 90 now and he sang the other night just as good as he has in the past 25 years. He said he's a crazy guitar player. Howard said he plays on that shitty guitar and he's not doing anything fancy but there's something really special there. Dave said just hearing him play 3 notes he'd know it's him. He said he's so specific in how he plays. Howard said he has a feeling that's what Dave is going for. He said he's not shredding but he's doing his own melodic thing that just kind of works.
Howard said he holds his guitar up high. Dave said he feels like a weirdo but he can't play it down low. He said it feels weird being down. Howard said Billie Joe Armstrong holds it by his knees. Dave said it's like he's an athlete and stretched out. He said he's more like tongue out of his mouth and holding it up high.
Howard said he did Neil Young's Needle and the Damage Done cover. He said that's another great guitar player. Dave said that he saw him at Farm Aid for the first time and he was mind blowing. Howard played some of the song and Dave said that song talks about how much love there is toward people who you've lost. He said it's not even about the high part but that you've lost them. He said the song is mind boggling.
Howard asked if Neil came to him and said he liked the way he covered his song. Dave said he played it for him once and Neil said ''Thanks man'' and that was it. He said Neil is a guy whose side he'd like to be on in a bar fight. He said he feels like he is a brawler. Howard said he doesn't take shit from anyone.
Howard asked if he ever has fantasies that he's going to come up and tell him his cover of the song is his favorite. Dave said he's fine with him just not telling him he sucks. He said that one time he played that song and Elton John was there and he told him he did a beautiful job with that song. He said that was great. He said Elton is a lovely human being. Howard said he's a great song writer too. Dave said he loves the Beatles too.
Howard said that he did a cover of ''In My Life'' and that was great too. He played some of that. Dave said listen to how young he sounds in that. Howard let the song play and said he loves this song. He said he had his first slow dance with a girl to this song. He said it was the original version though, not Dave's cover. He said that would have been weird to wait that long.
Howard said Dave is a dancer on stage. He said he moves around. Dave said he can't stand there. He said he doesn't know what he's doing though. He said you can't call it dancing. He said he just moves around. He said he felt like moving around one night recently and he just moved one leg.
Howard said James Brown was up there and Dave didn't look like he wanted to dance with him but he gave in and did it. Dave said he has a photo of them together and they both have their knees raised at the same time. He said he's sure as they moved in real time he wasn't that in time with him.
Howard asked Dave about writing songs and if he thought he could do it early on. Dave said it took a long time for him to do that. He said there were people who told him to write some music. He said it took him a long time. He said he wrote a song and the first one he wrote was ''I'll Back You Up'' and it might be the best song he ever wrote. He said he can play some of it now if he wants. Howard had him get his guitar and do that. Dave played some for Howard.
After the song Howard talked to Dave about what the song was about. He said he was obviously thinking about a woman. Dave said he's still friends with that woman. He said his wife has hung out with her. He said he's happy it turned out the way it did. He said he was in love. He said that he didn't have the bald spot and the grey beard he has now. He said he saw that in the green room there this morning.
Howard asked if the song came pouring out of him. Dave said he may have gotten obsessed with this guitar thing. He said he thinks that he was catching this idea that he could make something beautiful with words and music that he'd like. He said his sister and mom were going to listen to it so he was kind of free with it. He said once he started he thought it was a good love note. He said he thinks it got started when the relationship was about to end. He said his heart was being crushed. He said he thinks they crushed each other and moved on. He said he wrote it to get her back of course. He said he thinks she liked it. He said he knows she liked it. Howard said of course she did. Dave said it was a nice song but goodbye.
Howard said he likes the line he does in Grave Digger about being put in a shallow grave so you can feel the rain. He said a lot of his songs are about death. Dave said that one of his guys on the crew said the set list was ''Death, death, death, love, death and death.'' Howard said he has had a lot of loss in his life so you can figure out why that is. He said that line about the shallow gave is fucking great. Dave said that song was a creepy idea. He said that he used to live near a grave yard and he remembers walking in it. He said he got started with the song after doing that. He said every person there is novels and novels. He said you know that every person is a fascinating book. He said that song is one of his favorites he ever wrote. Howard said it's one of his best and it really moves him.
Howard asked Dave about his dad dying and his sister being killed. He said he can't even imagine that. Dave said his sister was murdered by her husband and he killed himself. He said we're lucky to have her kids. He said they're grown and wonderful people. Howard said what a heavy thing to have to deal with. He said Dave took the kids in and raised them. Dave said his other sister really raised them. He said they all helped. He said life unfolds and looking at the world as good and bad is fairy tale bullshit. He said we come into this world and if we're lucky we feel loved and find love. He said the more we find the more despair we'll feel. He said we should all be grateful for our time and for other people.
Howard asked how he gets past the whole thing with his sister and her husband for taking her away. Dave said he chooses to care about people and he can't find a reason to hold that anger. He said there's no reason to be hateful or angry. He said maybe his mom raised him well. Howard asked how old he was when he had to raise those kids. Dave said he was in his 20s. He said they had a lot of great people helping. He said they're amazing people now.
Dave said he appreciates what a great interview Howard gives. He said he hopes that they'll talk about farts and falling down stairs. He said he appreciates that he steers the ship toward things that have more weight too. Howard thanked him for saying that. He said there's a lot of heavy stuff in his songs though so he has to bring that up. He said that he has not been exposed to as much death and loss as Dave has.
Howard asked if he has to go to therapy. Dave said he has and he really thinks it's helpful.
Dave said he had a therapist who he loved. He said the guy was great. He said the guy would get emotional. He said one time he got on the elevator to go to see him and he was rushing. He said he was always late. He said that he got on the elevator and pressed the button. He said it smelled funny in the elevator. He said someone had shit the entire elevator. He said there was shit all over. He said he pressed the button for the next floor. He said a woman was coming on the elevator and he told her that someone made a mess in there. He said that woman held her nose and got on the elevator. He said he almost pulled her off. He said he went to his therapy session and they ended up talking about the rage that it must take to do that in an elevator. He said it was a slow elevator but not that slow. He said he went on about that for 48 minutes. He said the therapist said it had to be laden with malice. He said he could have written a song about that but he didn't. He said he obsesses with death instead of excrement. Howard said he has seen people spray the toilet with shit. He said Dave could have written a song about Shit in an Elevator.
Howard said Dave has written a new album and he imagines that there is pressure there. Dave said it is interesting and a challenge. He said he was working with a guy he has worked with before and he ended up playing a lick that the guy liked and they went from there and that was the beginning of the album. He said that led to them making the whole album. He said the first track is ''Walk around the Moon'' and that's what he played when they were in the studio. Howard played some of the song. He asked if that's about taking mushrooms. Dave said that he doesn't do a lot of drugs but he has done mushrooms. He said he thinks they're pretty good for him. He said if you have too many of them you should not operate a vehicle. He said that it's a good time to take a walk in the woods.
Dave said he had mushrooms and there was a pandemic so what better time is there to take them. He said it was a weird time. He said the song is about that and other things. He said it takes different forms. He said he's not as clear with his song writing as some song writers are. He said the songs can mean a few things to him. He said he likes the idea of being tired and taking a walk around the moon instead of going to sleep.
Howard said Neil Young wrote ''Ohio'' after a 20 minute walk in the woods. He said there's something about walking.
Howard said he's going to do ''Madman's Eyes'' and that's about gun violence. Dave said the song didn't start with that intention but it went in that direction. He said the shooting never ends and people are always shot. He said it seemed like a common statement losing people to gun violence and there is no safe place from it. Howard said he can't imagine having young kids and sending them to school. Dave said he has a son in high school and there was someone murdered at a school nearby. He said his daughter lost friends to a mass shooting. Howard said his sister was a victim of gun violence too. Dave said she was in a fight and he shot her in the back. He said if there wasn't a gun there it wouldn't have happened. He said they say guns don't kill people, people kill people. He said that's a ridiculous statement. He said if he gets in a fight without a gun he's going to get a bloody nose or something. He said you can just end someone's life if you have a gun. He said that his brother in law could have killed his sister without a gun but the gun made it easier. He said he doesn't understand the argument that it's about freedom. He said it doesn't address the issue. He said it's like saying ''I know you are but what am I?'' as a kid.
Dave plugged in his guitar and played some of the lick he was playing when he came up with this song. He demonstrated what he was playing when he came up with it. Dave said he found some other parts and that turned into the song. Howard said he has that but there are no lyrics yet. Dave said he was messing with it for a while. He said he's going to play the song. He said that he'd like to do that for Howard. He said he has used guns and they are amazing things. He said there is a place for them though. He said the place for them is not everywhere all the time. He went on to perform ''Madman's Eyes.''
After the song Howard said that was good. He asked if that's hard to play. Dave said it is a lot. He said he usually has all 7 of them doing it and it's easier. Howard asked if he likes playing it with a band better. Dave said he hasn't done it alone very often. He said it's easier to get giant wings when you have all of the other instruments there. Howard said it's hypnotic to watch him do it.
Howard said he's doing an acoustic show tonight for SiriusXM. He asked if he likes doing that. Dave said he likes doing that sometimes. He said sometimes when he plays with the band he can't believe how lucky he is to be doing that. He said he has guys who have been with him since the beginning. He said he looks at Stefan sometimes and he just moves the chords around in such a way that he creates so much space. He said he's astounding for him. He said he loves to watch him widen the music so much.
Howard said it really is a magical thing to create something so beautiful. Dave said it's a bizarre thing to be in the middle of something that changes so much. He said there's a lot of freedom.
Howard asked who he can call to talk to about this stuff. He asked if Eddie Vedder is a guy he can talk to. Dave said he hasn't hung out a lot with him but when he has he's an amazing guy. He said Neil is an amazing guy too. He said that he's a fan of Eddie's too. He said Neil is a lot of fun to talk to about music. He said the first time they hung out Neil said that it was like this thing and he waved his arm around. He said that he didn't even have words. He said it's weird that when something goes just right you don't even have words. He said you don't even know it happened. He said the time just vanishes. He said then there are times that 20 minutes feels like 14 days of struggling through the snow.
Howard said he'd like to go through some of the stuff he thinks is difficult and what's great to see if he can tell. Dave said they have a song called Don't Drink the Water and it's about genocide. He said when they recorded it they were all in a bad frame of mind. He said they played it a bunch of times. Howard interrupted and played some of the song and didn't let Dave finish the story. Howard said Alanis Morissette is on that song. He asked if he was in love with her. Dave said that they did love their time together. He said that she was beautiful. He said that he was intimidated by her and that may have had an effect on the song. He said that it's impossible not to fall in love with her. He said that she can do so much and it's almost impossible not to fall in love. Howard said they were making beautiful music together. He said it's almost a trap. He said that to sustain a relationship like that would be hard.
Dave said Brandi is like that. He said you fall in love with her too. He said you play and sing and look at each other.
Howard asked if there was a relationship with Alanis. Dave said it was a short thing but it was good. He said they visited a few times. He said they were never lovers. He said they didn't even smooch. Howard said he thought they were a thing. He said he's not sure how they didn't fall into a thing when it's so perfect.
Howard went through some of Dave's hits and played some ''Ants Marching.'' He said that was another song about someone dying. He said that was a friend who died in an ATV accident. Dave said he was in a great place at the time and he ended up hitting a ditch on his ATV and he ended up dying from some complications from that. Howard said he stays in his house and wants to live. He said he doesn't mess with stuff like that.
Howard said he thinks about this song and how we are like ants. Dave said that it is a remarkable thing that there are so many of us and we somehow manage to unfold things in an organized way.
Howard played some ''What Would You Say'' and they ended up talking about John Popper playing harmonica on that song.
Howard said he has to talk to him about this song ''Too Much'' and how it's about wanting too much. Howard said this is a great catalog of songs. He asked if this was hard to write. Dave said he thinks it was. He said he may have just sang a bunch of gibberish and then made something out of it.
Howard asked why he's getting his guitar on. Dave said he was going to play another song if he has time. Howard said he has time. Dave said that he thinks he can make a transition. He said he was thinking about how time wins. He said we live these lives where you want just a little bit more. He said you think you can get a little bit more or buy something then you'll have enough. He said he's the same way. He said at some point he's going to have to stop and just enjoy. He said he was going to play a song for Howard that is a Willie Nelson song. He said it's ''Funny How Time Slips Away.'' Howard said he didn't think he wrote that. Dave thought he did. He said he played that for Willie at his 90th birthday party. He said that Snoop Dogg was there at the party. Howard asked if he smoked with Snoop. Dave said not with Snoop but he did smoke at the end of the night. He said he walked out on stage and he was so stoned. He said he was holding the microphone up to his mouth and then putting it down. He said he felt like the audience was laughing at him. He said he was immediately stoned when he took that hit.
Howard said Snoop said that the only guy who can keep up with him is Willie. Dave said he played this song for Willie. He said he wants to say that they're going to show a film of the evening. He said he thinks it's going to be on this Sunday night in theaters all over the country. He said it's just for one night.
Howard asked if he doesn't know what night it is because he doesn't need to know. Dave said that does happen. He said he does like to know what city he's in. He said that he has made mistakes when he's done concerts and said the wrong city.
Robin said Willie did write this song. She said she just looked it up. Howard said another artist released it first but Willie did write it. He thanked Robin for the correction. Dave went into the song ''Funny How Time Slips Away'' after that.
After the song Howard said that was just beautiful. Dave said it's a mean song. Howard said it really is. He asked if he ever hears a song like that and wishes he wrote it. Dave said just the lines that he has that ties it all together. He said it's like ''I just hate you, bitch'' until he has that line.
Howard said he hates to bring up sore subjects. He said that Willie is going into the Rock and Roll hall of fame. He said Dave is the only guy who won the fan vote and didn't get in yet. He said it's the first time someone has won the fan vote and didn't get in. Howard said he inducted Traffic into the hall of fame though. They spent a minute talking about that.
Howard said he's not sure if it's important to him but he finds it kind of insulting that they haven't inducted him yet. Dave said that if there is an argument there about not getting into it then it would be if the fans overwhelmingly voted for you to get in and you still don't get in. He said that he's like a parallel to Susan Lucci. Howard said she never won an Emmy so that became a huge deal.
Howard said that Dave said that he was inspired by this guy who played Court of the Crimson King because he plays with his hands spread out. Dave said he plays kind of like this and he'll play something and show someone what he's doing and they show him how to do it easier. He said it does make a sound that's different. He showed Howard how that works for him. Dave said he was trying to imitate that guy and he was ignorant so he just did it the same way.
Howard asked if he took guitar lessons as a kid. Dave said he did. He said he learned that the groove matters more than getting all the notes in. He said just make sure your foot is tapping the whole way through. Dave said he's sorry if he's boring him. Howard said he's fascinated to hear that stuff.
Hard asked who the greatest guitar player of all time is. He threw out Jimi Hendrix. Dave said his feel and groove was so great. He said he was allowing all of this magic of his brilliance to shine. He said that's part of what made him so great. He said not every step was careful. He said he was bold and had this freedom. He said he would just throw it out there and that's unbelievable. He said that's a crazy courage.
Howard said Dave never plays the same set list. He said that must be like what Jimi was doing. He said he can't imagine doing the same set every night. Dave said they have a lot of songs to go through. He said that they don't play them all. He said he wants everyone to get their moment in the light and he has to figure out what songs to do that with. He said that makes it sort of selfish. He said they don't do the same show every night because of that. He said something can go wrong. He said his guys can fly and do their thing. He said he can just sit down on them.
Howard talked about some of the music they're playing on tour and how he's playing the Beatles ''I Want You (She's So Heavy)''. He said he can't imagine how they picked that. He said they cover some other great songs as well.
Howard said they're doing this show tonight for Sirius. Dave said he's going to get some lunch and getting together with some friends. Howard asked if they're non-show biz friends. Dave said they are and he has some show biz people later on in the day.
Howard asked if he's heard Paul Simon's new album. Dave said he has not but he heard it's good. Howard said it is. Dave said he performed ''You Can Call Me Al'' in front of him. He said that he couldn't even look at him. Howard said there are so many other songs that he could do. Dave said he was asked to do that one. He said the band was killing that night. He said they covered a lot of space for him. Howard said he thinks that he did a song with Paul. Dave said he did. He said he hung out with him once at his house. He said they talked about stuff and listened to some of his music. He said that was a highlight of his life. He said just listening to him talk about his life was great. They spent a few minutes talking about what an experience that was for Dave.
Howard said that he thinks Dave is going to be one of those guys who never retires. Dave said maybe after he shits himself on stage he will. Howard said what a joy it was to have him there today. He gave him some plugs and wrapped up. The new album is Walk Around The Moon.
Howard ended the show around 10:55am.