Howard said he's not sure why Robin's voice is coming through his harmonize. Chris told him that's what happens now. Howard said he was going to do Bigfoot vs Hitler. He said forget it now. He went through with it anyway. Chris played Bigfoot and Howard did his Vader. Robin said Bigfoot would just want to bend Vader over and fuck him in the ass. They acted out that scene for a few seconds.
Howard said this is a good movie. Bigfoot had scabies as his powers. Vader said he would make him eat his own dick. Bigfoot said that would be very bad for him. He said he'll put an Ewok on his dick so Vader can't get to it.
Howard said enough of this. He said that's a good movie there. He asked if he has anyone who can do Hitler. He said no one jumped in on that.
Howard said they don't have Hitler anymore but they have this new guy Trump had over named Nick Fuentes. He said he read about how he met with this white supremacist Nick Fuentes. He asked how he got to be a white supremacist. Robin said it's all very confusing.
Howard said they're saying that Trump met with this guy and he had Kanye West too. He said he was hanging out with this Nick Fuentes guy and he's not sure why that is. He said if he's a white supremacist why is he hanging out with a black guy. He said it doesn't make sense.
Howard said Trump doesn't meet with anyone he doesn't know. He said Trump claims he doesn't know who the guy is. He said he was at his house. He said he thinks he knows who he is. He said his point about Darth Vader is that they're going to save his voice. He said they're using Artificial Intelligence to put together the voice of Vader. He said that James can't do the voice anymore. He said this is the new Darth Vader voice. He said it does sound a little cold to him. He played a clip from Obi Wan Kenobi.
Howard said they've been doing this for years there. He said the do it with the Mitch McConnell voice and things like that. He had a clip of Mitch that they created from his audio book. They had him talking about his egg drop soup like semen. He said he'd like to get an Artificial Intelligence Howard Stern and be able to sit home.
Robin said she wasn't able to stay up to watch it so she recorded it but then her power went out. She said she doesn't even have cable this morning.
Howard said it was nice to be on another show. He said he did it from his studio. He said they told him he'd be on for 10 minutes. He said then they asked for 20. He said he said okay to that. He said he was happy to do that. He said he was sitting there and they kept him on for an entire hour and 10 minutes or something. He said they had a lot of fun. He said he likes Morning Joe. Robin said she has never seen a segment that long on any news show. Howard said it was good promotion. Robin said they were able to take breaks and they kept Howard on the entire time.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw the interview with Bruce was on HBO last night so he watched it. He said he had listened to it live but seeing it on HBO was great. He said the production was awesome. He said it was great to see that Robin looked so skinny too. He said that fasting really worked. He said she looked great. Howard said Robin is a show off. She was upstaging Bruce Springsteen.
Howard asked what Robin ate for Thanksgiving. Robin said she had the usual dinner. Howard said look at her. He said she's so shy about what she eats. Robin said she went to someone's house for dinner and she had a regular dinner. She said they all tested before. Howard said she told him privately about that. He said he didn't know she went to someone's home for dinner. Robin said she has been getting together with them for years. She said they didn't do it for 3 years so they finally got back to it this year. Howard asked if her friends were shocked by her new body. Robin said they were all commenting on how skinny she is. Howard asked if she was wearing something clingy to show off her curves. Robin said she wore something conservative. She said she didn't know if anyone was looking at her. Howard said she heard two guys popped boners looking at her.
Howard asked if she was eating more food than usual. Robin said no. She said she ate less than anyone else. Howard asked if she was monitoring what other people were eating. Robin said she just had one serving while everyone else had more than one. Howard asked if she had to poop there. Robin said she did not. Howard said now they have the full story.
The caller said Howard just looked okay in that interview with Bruce. Howard said he should have worn something nicer. He said he could have looked better. The caller said she looked fine. Howard said he just looked okay. He said it's so true. He said he knows.
Robin said Pete and Emily Ratajkowski have gone public. Howard said that guy is on a roll. He said that girl is very good looking and she enjoys showing her body and her nudity. He said he can imagine that Pete is having a fucking party. He said that people write about him and wonder why he's dating her. He said she's super hot. He said he reads the comments about her on DailyMail. He said he wants to see what these people look like. He said these people are steeped in bullshit. He said you can't say she's ugly. He said call him ugly and you're right.
Robin asked if Howard thinks that Pete blows his load like he would have if he was with someone that good looking. Howard said he had to jerk off earlier in the evening at that age if he was with someone. He said that he couldn't last. He said he bets Pete can cum like 5 times in a row.
Howard said when he was 19 he was in college and he had a girlfriend that he could fuck 5 times a day. He said he was with her for a short time. He said she left him for a guy with a bigger dick.
Howard said he remembers fucking when they woke up and then they'd have breakfast and fuck again. He said then they'd walk around Princeton and fuck toward the afternoon. He said it was like 2 times in a row at night. He said it was like pussy was ruling his life back then. He said being Pete's age it's like winning the pussy lottery. He said Pete is known to have a big cock. He said he'd like to know how she can take a big cock like that. He said he knows she had a baby. He said maybe that helps. Robin said it is pliable down there. She said sometimes you can't get it all in there though. Howard said imagine how great that is. He said that they're fucking around and she's blowing him and playing with his cock and then it's time to put it in. He said she has to ask him to go slow and he gets a tiny bit in there. He said then she has to ask him not to go deeper. He said imagine what that would be like. He said he can't.
Robin said they have heard from women who can take a big one. She said they're mostly porn stars though. Howard said he was watching porn this weekend. He said he was using the Incognito mode. He said no one knows you're watching porn. He said that he thinks you can hide it from people. He said that his IT guys, Jeff and Matt, told him that he should be using Incognito mode so he doesn't have to erase his history. He said he wrote them back and thanked them for helping him with his masturbation. He said it's basically for guys watching porn.
Howard said Robin should do that too. Robin asked where she's going with that. She said she's not looking up porn or her ex boyfriends. Howard said he dated some good looking girls back in college so he was searching for pictures of these girls. He said he showed Beth who he dated. He said Beth was impressed. He said he got laid twice this weekend. He said his wife is a trip. He said that he and Beth are into animal rescue. He said if you pass their interview process you can get one of their animals. He said his wife designed this piece of jewelry they sell for charity. He said they came up with this necklace. He said it has two sides and it's really nice. He said Beth has been wearing it. He said he woke up this morning where she had this cat playing with the necklace. He said the cat is playing with it and hitting the necklace. He said her whole tittie is showing in this video. He said she put it on Instagram. He said he was looking at it and thinking she had her tittie out. He said she had it out almost where the nip is. He said it's the most sexual thing. He said he was looking at the comments. He said everyone was looking at her tittie. He said he told Beth about the comments.
Howard said Beth didn't even think about her tittie being out. He said she asked if he was crazy. He said she's oblivious to this whole thing. He said she didn't know her tittie was out. He said just go look at the comments. He said she has no tittie awareness. He said she may sell a lot of necklaces because of that. He said he wishes she'd come down and talk about it. He said go look at it. He said he has no problem with it. He said he has his own Emily Ratajkowski running around with those titties.
Howard said Pete Davidson is no loser. He said people sound like turds talking about him like that. He said you sound lame. He said he was in the same situation. He said he was around guys with hot wives and thought they should be with him. He said get over it. He said no girl was looking at him. He said Pete getting Emily Ratajkowski is no mystery to him. He said he'd love to have him on and tell him about the first time he fucked her. He said he would love to know. He said if he could just come on and talk about it. He said he'd have both of them on to talk about it. He said he'd love to hear about that. He said that's his next HBO special. He said they can talk about fucking each other. Robin said HBO is on the phone now.
Howard said he talked to Scott Greenstein about the Bruce interview. He said he had ideas for more interviews he should be doing. He said he has to get on that.
Howard said maybe for his next interview he could talk to Pete as he's fucking Emily. He said that would be amazing. Robin said he's always thinking about the next level. Howard said he is. He said forget HBO. He said he may want to show that at halftime at the Super Bowl.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has Beth's Instagram and she has to know what she's doing. Howard said she doesn't. He said she's such a girl. He said she just thought the cat was the video. He said she was shocked when he told her about it this morning. He said she was really shocked. He said she realized it after he showed it to her. He said it looks nice. Robin asked if the guy bought a necklace. The guy said he may have to.
Howard said this is for charity. He said he doesn't sell a lot of stuff but this is for charity. He said the necklace looks nice on the ladies.
Howard said he's confused by white supremacy with this Nick Fuentes guy. He said it's so confusing to him to have a Fuentes as a white supremacist. He said he's not sure why he's hanging around a black guy either. He said it doesn't make sense. He asked why Kanye would want to hang around the guy. He said it's fucking wild. He said he's not sure what he's saying by that. He said maybe Kanye hates black people.
Howard said he was watching a lot of stuff over the vacation. He said he didn't have the kids this time. He said the girls were at their mom's for Thanksgiving. He said they will be with him for Christmas. He said it was just him. He said he tried to get his mother to come over. He said she didn't want to. He said he went to visit her on Tuesday for a long time. He said he tried to get her over but she didn't want to leave. He did his impression of her. He said her nurse and doctor said she's fully capable of going.
Howard said he had to go through a lot last week. He said his father left a will and he has to get his affairs in order. He said he had to bring his mother to the bank to do some stuff for that. He said his mother didn't want to go. He said he has to be able to get to his stuff and she didn't want to do this stuff to get it in her name. He said he had to get his lawyer over to her and he had to be able to do things for the estate. He said it was a lot. He said he's going crazy. He said she wants him to handle everything.
Howard said his mother is madly in love with Beth lately and it's getting weird. He said he's not sure what is going on. He said every conversation with her is about Beth. He did his impression of his mother talking about how great Beth is to her and how she has the best taste. He said she had to get a new clock and an ottoman. He said his mother was talking about how great these things are.
Howard said he's the one paying for this stuff and it's like she doesn't understand that. He said his mother talks about her like she's the one doing all of this stuff for her. He said he is very happy that his mom loves his wife. He said she will talk about how great she is and she thanks God for bringing her Beth. He said she's always on that. He said she thinks she's married to Beth or something. Robin said she's not sure what is going on there. Howard said he ash to talk to his psychiatrist about it today. He said it's like he finally did something right for his mom finding Beth.
Howard said they went to visit his mom and she was talking about how great her sweater was. He said he's never heard so many compliments. He said he doesn't know what's going on.
Howard took a call from Balls who asked if there's anyone left on his bucket list to interview. Howard said he has a lot of people but he hates that name bucket list. He said he's not sure what that even means. He said he gets so aggravated with that name. He said he doesn't have a list. He said he's interested in everyone. He said not even the best known names. He said there are great interviews out there. He said he'd be interested in Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and even Gallagher Too. He said they have some great guests on the show who aren't the most well known. He said he was interested in that guy who killed Bin Laden. He said he'd like to talk to Taylor Swift and people like that. He said maybe Eminem. He said he was watching the Rock hall of fame. He said he seems like an interesting dude.
Howard said he would like to talk to a lot of people. He said he'd like to interview Oprah. He said she would never do it though. He said he's a pain in the ass to her. He said he did meet Gayle King years ago and she said they should get together. He said Oprah doesn't like him though. He said she had no idea. He said that she claims that Oprah did like him. He said there's no way. He said he'd like to talk to Stedman. He said no one talks to him. He said he'd like to talk to Pete Davidson about banging Emily Ratajkowski. He said he's like to talk to all of them.
Howard said he was listening to Sammy Hagar's latest album. He said that guy was so great when he went into Van Halen. He said he walked right into that band and made it even better. He said he loved the David Lee Roth years but Sammy nailed it with them. He said that they have to give him his props. He said that might be the greatest band ever. He said he is a Sammy Hagar guy. He said he is a big fan o the guy. He said he was listening to the new album called Crazy Times and he fucking loved it. He said he listened to it three times while he was doing his art. He said he has some of the album to play. He said he isn't doing an ad for this, he just liked it. Howard said he'd like to talk to Sammy again. He said you have to get into the vibe of this song. He played the song ''Crazy Times'' and let that play for a bit.
Howard said he did a cover of ''Pump it Up'' too. He played some of that. He said that he thought they were ripping off Elvis Costello but then he realized they were doing a cover. He said Sammy can still sing. He said he's like 75. He said he does this song called Funky Feng Shui too. He played some of that. He said this is good stuff. Robin said it is.
Howard said he does another song about being 75 years old and facing death. He said the song made him sad. He said he wishes he knew the name of the song. He said good for Sammy. He said he got turned on to the album while he was going through his email. He said he got one from Kidd Chris who told him about it. He said Chris is in Cincinnati now He said he's the morning guy there. He said he got this note from Chris saying that Sammy heard they knew each other and he asked him to send along this message. He said Sammy sent him this new album and he hadn't played it yet. Howard said he listened to it and it's really fucking great. He said some of these guys can still rock. He said Sammy is so great and Eddie never should have fucked with him. He said he's not sure what the dynamic was there but they should have stayed together. Robin said it's a tough thing to have that attention going to the lead guy when you're doing the hard work there.
Howard said this is real charity work. He said she lost the fucking weight too. Robin asked them to show her. She said she wants to see. The guys showed her a shot a short time later and Robin agreed she looks great.
Howard said this is Oprah listing all the food from last year's Thanksgiving. He played a clip of her talking about all of this food they had there.
Howard said she's living the life. Robin said she had a tough childhood so why not. Howard said he loves the American Dream. He said that she worked hard and mastered her craft and became a wealthy woman. Robin said she had a lot of tough times. She said she overcame all of this stuff. Howard said that's what he's saying. He said he's happy for her. Robin said she has a right to celebrate every day. Howard said sure.
Howard said he would love to see Robin have some African girls over for dinner. Robin said Oprah has that taken care of. She said that she has the right to live the way she wants to and not adhere to Howard's principles.
Howard asked Fred how his Thanksgiving was. Fred said he cooked the turkey and his daughter cooked everything else just about. He said it was good to see her. Howard said it seems like Fred and Robin are wearing the same glasses. Fred said they went to different opticians but came up with the same look. Howard said that was a great update.
Robin said that its odd that someone outlived a bird. Howard said they can live 70 fucking years. He said they don't make any provisions in their will and they have to have the birds euthanized. He said they have rescued some birds. He said then you have to go out and find them a home. Robin said the dogs and cats don't live long but the birds can outlive you. Howard said he's living in an animal sanctuary right now. He said it's unbelievable how many they have now. He said his wife loves to see him getting along with the pets. He said that he likes animals but his wife gets so hot for him seeing that. He said she loves that. He said that's the way to her.
Howard said if he walks into a room he says hello to the cats. He said he makes a fuss about it. He said his wife will get upset if he doesn't say hello to them all. He said he says hello but he needs a second before she jumps on him. He said she gets upset if he doesn't say hello.
Howard said they have six cats of their own right now. He said they have a rabbit too. He said he has to say hi to them all. He said he has to get all excited about it. He said he does it loud so Beth hears it. He said he has to ask how the cats are all doing.
Howard said they have a woman who cleans their house and he was doing his cat voice for the cats and she walks in. He said he has to give Pebble her treats and that's his job. He said that he walks up to Pebble to give her treats and he's talking to the cats in this voice. He said this woman thought that he was calling her. He said he's like a fucking lunatic. He said he's been locked up in his house for 3 years so they think he's a lunatic.
Howard said they had a friend over on Saturday night for dinner. He took a call from his cat Pebble who was going off on him for not talking about her when Beth isn't in the room. Howard said Pebble is a girl. He said he's not sure what's going on. He ended that and talked about all of this stuff he has to get to today. He said he has to take a break though. Howard asked if Robin watched the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame show. Robin said its on her bucket list. Howard said he liked it.
Howard said he knows people are upset with Ticketmaster. He said there was a lot of demand for the tickets though. He said getting tickets has been the hardest thing in the world. Gary said that some of these women were grown ups who were crying. He said that Busy Phillips was one of them. Howard said she's a grown woman. Gary said she was complaining about not being able to get in on it. Howard asked if she has kids. Gary said he doesn't know. He said he thinks they were for her. Howard said he used to watch her show Busy Tonight. He said now she's Not So Busy Tonight.
Howard said his point is that there is no technology that can handle so many people going on a web site at once. He said maybe they just don't have that tech yet. Robin said maybe just have a lottery and show up at a certain time. Howard said he thinks they have done that and Scalpers get the tickets instead.
Howard said this same shit was going on in the 1970s with tickets. He said you have to follow people who aren't so popular. He said he's a big Susan Boyle fan. He said he gets tickets no problem for her. He said Lou Bega and Psy are others he can get right through for. He said Richard is a big Cannibal Corpse fan. He said he has no problem getting tickets.
Howard said he sees that Busy Phillips was trying to get tickets for her 14 and 9 year old. He said its not a bad thing to tell the kids no sometimes. He said she tried. He said the kids are nice and all but she can't sit there for 17 hours.
Howard was about to do a commercial break but he talked about how scary it is that James Earl Jones lost his voice. He said he's afraid of that happening to him.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake George Takei who said he has plenty of tickets to his musical Allegiance on Broadway. He even sang for Howard. He invited the Swifties to come see the play. Howard had fake George paint the scene for them about what was going on in the play before he sings this song. George did that and then sang more of this song for him.
George mentioned something about Bob Dylan not signing autographs in his book. Howard said he heard about that. He said they were supposed to be autographed but they were electronically signed. He didn't know the whole story there.
Howard said the real George is so great. He said he was in a cartoon this summer and he was upset about how he looked in the cartoon. He said he's not sure what planet he's from but he didn't like the look of this character. He said that he has to find tape of this. Richard told Howard he has it. He told him that George was upset with the way his cat character in ''Paws of Fury'' looked. Howard played the clip and George was upset with the way his character looked after they told him it would be muscular. He said he was saying ''How dare you cast me like that!'' Howard said the hosts were looking at him like he was out of his mind. Howard said he was talking about this in every interview he did. Howard played a montage of George talking about the way he looks as this cartoon character.
Howard said he's the best. He said he's completely obsessed with this. He said he doesn't think he even got the name of the movie right. He said he film makers were saying that the muscles were under the fat and George wasn't satisfied with that. He played a clip of George talking about that.
Howard said George was also upset that his character was subservient to a cat that was smaller. Howard played some audio of that.
Howard said he laughs because he realized that Brad is like this with George. He said this is Brad talking about George. He played a clip of Brad talking about how George thinks about himself first and then about him second. He said he would never think about getting himself lunch himself. He said he asks him to get their food for them.
Fake George returned and knocked on the fake door. Howard let him say a few more words before closing the door on him.
Howard went into a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and talked about the Beastie Boys song. He said this is a great song. He said he was listening to Lithium and Tom Morello. He said Tom does this show with his mom on the channel. He said he plays whatever he wants. He said he loves the show. He said Tom has this One Man Revolution show and he does another show on other channels without his mom. He said he was listening to Tom and he will turn you on to his favorite songs and then his own music. He said he did this song with Gary Clark Jr. called Can't Stop the Bleeding and it was so good. He said that Rage Against the Machine is not in the Hall of Fame. He said it was fun to see Dolly Parton up on stage with Rob Halford doing ''Jolene.'' He said it was the guy from Judas Priest singing Jolene.
Howard asked if that was her husband at the hall of fame sitting there behind her. Gary said he's not sure but it may have been her husband and kids. He said he thinks she has kids. Howard said there was some dude there but she never shows her husband in public. He said it may have been him. Robin said she doesn't think he looks show biz. She said he may be off the path of music and stuff. Howard said he looks like he could live a trailer over from Jeff the Drunk.
Howard said he was listening to this Tom and Gary Clark Jr. song. He said they're both really good. He said they could have a super group like he was talking to Bruce about. He said they could have them and Neil Young with Bruce. He said that he heard from Tom telling him to keep that idea going. He said he wants that super group thing going.
Howard said this song ''Can't Stop the Bleeding'' is really good. Howard said these guys are really good. He played some of the song. Howard said listen to this. He said it's really good.
Howard said he wanted to ask Bruce about Sting and if he was the one responsible for Bruce putting out solo albums. He said he heard stories about that.
Howard said he was watching the Hall of Fame and Dolly Parton looks damn good for 77. He said he doesn't think there's a part of her that's actually 77. He said that her tits might be 10 years old. H said maybe one knee is still 77. He said he's not a fan of plastic surgery on people but whatever she did works. He said that he thinks people should age gracefully. He said he looks at himself and he's not doing any plastic surgery but his neck could use a lift. He said Robin looks good. Robin said she has issues. Howard said he doesn't see it. He said Robin isn't 20 now but he saw a picture of her from the channel 9 show and she was looking like a little sex pot. He said no one has forgotten that.
Howard said Dolly did look good. He said then you think about Tom and Rage not being in the hall of fame. He said that they have been nominated but not inducted.
Howard said this Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis put together some great albums and they were inducted. He said that Janet Jackson inducted them and she had this hair do on her head that was huge. He said her head looked life it might break off. He said it was obviously a wig or something. He said you've never seen anything like this. He said he feels like he should do something like it with his hair. Gary said he thinks she was recreating one of her album covers. Howard said he doesn't think so. He said he loved her stuff and he doesn't' think she had an album like that. He said her hair was so high up. He said it was like 5 times the size of her head. Gary said it was like Marge Simpson.
Gary said that Jimmy Jam was on Summer School this summer. He said he's a big fan of the show. He said he told them about how Prince didn't want them to do anything with anyone else and they went out on their own and did something and he found out and fired them. Howard said it sounds like Prince could be a big dick at times.
Howard said Bruce was there and he did a nice speech for Jimmy Iovine. He said Lionel Ritchie was there. He said that they did a tribute to him with Charlie Puth and Stevie Wonder and they were great. He said they were trading off doing Lionel's songs. He said then Lionel was honored at the Hall of fame. He said he's on American Idol and people must think he's kind of cool. He said Lenny Kravitz came out and he looks good. He said he must be drinking the blood of young children. Robin said he has always looked good. She said he hasn't had to do anything to himself. Howard said Lenny is 58 years old. He said he doesn't know who he's fucking. He said he keeps to himself.
Robin was laughing looking at the pictures of Janet Jackson. Howard said Dave Grohl played with Lionel on stage too. He said he's cool again apparently. Robin said why not. She said he has a lot of good songs. Howard said Pat Benetar sounded good there too. He said she was singing with her husband. He said Carley Simon was inducted. He said that she didn't go. He said both of her sisters died in the same week. He asked if you can believe that. Robin said what a horror that is. Howard said Eminem was good too. He said they were all pretty good.
Howard said he has a note saying that Alanis Morissette dropped out over sexism there at the show. He said that she was supposed to do something with Olivia Rodrigo. He said he bets Olivia was upset about that.
Howard was naming bands and singers who aren't in the hall of fame and should be. He was doing it with the riff from Aqualung. He was naming band after band with that.
Howard said he's watching The Crown again. Robin said she's not in the mood for that yet. Howard said he's not crazy about the Lady Diana chick. He said she looks like Olive Oyl from Popeye. He said he's going to stick with it though. Robin said she has to get back to it eventually.
Howard said he thinks that Prince Harry is going to figure out that he misses being in the family. He said he hopes that woman is fucking him every day. He said Harry did it for her. He said that she should be blowing him every day. He said we'll see what happens. Robin asked if he'll be allowed back in the family after the divorce. Howard said he thinks so. He said he would have loved to have gone to boarding school when he was a kid. Robin said being at home was like being in prison for her. Howard said it was crazy for him too. He said this Prince Harry will have his pussy spell wear off eventually.
Howard said the Royals have to run around finding things to do with their time. He said they have so much free time. He said he would love that lifestyle. Robin said that's why they fight to be able to drive their own cars and stuff.
Howard said he has to thank a lot of people. He named a bunch of fake names they were making up.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said they have a whole new platform with HBO. She said she stayed up to watch last night. She said it was incredible. She said she loved it. Howard thanked her and played her off with some award show music.
Howard took a call from fake Jennifer Witz who was asking who his best boss is. Howard said he won't even debate it's her. She said that's right. She said she writes his check. She said she owns his ass through 2025 so don't get any crazy HBO ideas. Howard said he knows.
Howard said Greg Maffei is a big name. He said he doesn't say his name in vain. He said he went to Dartmouth business school. Robin said she respects that. Howard said he's been the chairman of the board there for over 10 years now. He said Robin doesn't know who he is. Robin said she has to go read the annual reports and learn all of the names there. Howard spent a little more time talking about how great Greg is.
Howard said he can imagine the deep voice guy coming on and they show the cum hat and Sal's load. Robin said they could have the It's Just Wrong segments and things like that featured in it. Robin said that the Kennedy Center Honors is a big stretch.
Howard was doing the deep voice guy talking about the shit they've done over the years like the Craptacular, Will the Farter farting in his mother's face. He had Anal Ring Toss and things like that as well. Howard said then they had Beetlejuice shaving his balls and tea bagging a porn star. He talked about Gary getting squirted in the eye with pussy juice. Howard said then they had the biggest hemorrhoid contest. Then Perez Hilton stuck his finger in Benjy's ass.
Howard let the caller go and said he'd like the Kennedy Center Honors thing. He started naming more things they have done on the show over the years that might stop that from happening.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he grew up in Jackson Heights and now lives in Tennessee. He said he moved to Nashville in 1984. He said it was the right place to be. He said he's an entertainment lawyer down there. Howard said he respects that. He said no one gets more screwed over in entertainment contracts than singers. The caller said he tells his clients that he's not a shark. He said you have to figure out what a fair deal is. He said you have to lose something. Howard said he would never hire him then. The caller said he wanted to give him a shout out about the Bruce Springsteen interview. He said he watched it on HBO and he predicts that he'll win an Emmy for that. Howard said he doesn't think so. Robin said HBO gets recognized for that kind of thing. Howard said Bruce has to win it too. Robin said they'll have to share a microphone on stage then like Little Steven and Bruce. Howard said he thinks he would want Bruce to speak first and he'll go second.
The caller thanked Howard for what they do for the fans. Howard said he wants his full time up there too. He said he doesn't want to be played off. Robin said if Bruce speaks first they're going to play Howard off. Howard said Bruce made a great speech for Jimmy Iovine. He said he would like that. Fred played him off like they might do with him. Howard said they'll probably bring out a catapult and shoot him off the stage. He said he'd love that. Howard said that would be good if they did something like that. He said then Will Smith can come up and smack him in the head.
Howard let the caller go and said you never walk into a room and say you want to be fair.
Howard said some listeners wrote in about their party record experiences. Howard said Redd Foxx was one guy that people used to listen to. He said that everyone was writing in about that.
Howard said some people wrote in about different party records. He had one suggestion about Bo Carter. He played some of his stuff where he sang about warming his wiener. Howard had a couple of other suggestions from fans that he played.
Howard said people wrote in about Neil Young's interview. He said that people wrote in about Bruce on HBO. Howard said that guy Matt Friend did a bit where he did both voices of Howard Stern and Bruce Springsteen. He played some of that. He had fake Howard interrupting fake Bruce.
Howard said he thinks he's on to something but he doesn't sound exactly like him. He said it's pretty close. Robin said he wouldn't be able to voice Private Parts or something. Howard said right. He was doing an impression of Matt doing his impression of him. Howard said he still likes it for some reason.
Howard asked the guys what's going on with Lars. He said he has a note saying he's ready to go. He asked if anyone will give him a heads up. Gary said he's coming now.
Lars was on and Howard asked him if he can believe what just happened here. He said he wasn't able to get an answer there. Lars said it's great to see them. He said he heard Howard doing the post mortem on the Bruce interview and he was talking about how great they are there. He said he thought he just spent 20 minutes setting up this microphone with Gary and Steve. He said somehow the three of them managed to get him and his wife to set this thing up for this.
Howard said Metallica has a way of doing things and they have a good group of people setting them up. Lars said they have great technicians that have been with them for a long time. He said they know each other really well and that's invaluable. He said that hey have a lot of great crew that have been with them since the 80s and 90s. He said it's a big part of moving them along.
Howard asked if Lars knows Bruce at all. Lars said he's never got deep but he has hung out with him and he's very courteous and nice. Howard said how about a super group. Lars said he loved that discussion they had earlier. He said he would love that. Lars said the guys don't stray a lot but Dave Grohl called him a while back and asked him to take part in the Taylor Hawkins thing. He said he said yes before he was even done talking. He said he'd do that no problem. He said it's not the most comfortable thing to do outside the Metallica universe. He said playing with Grohl and the other guys was something. He said it was so much fucking fun. Howard said he loved that. He said he watched that whole thing. He said he thought it was fantastic.
Lars said that he felt good playing AC/DC songs and then they did it again in L.A. with Black Sabbath. He said that was fun for him too.
Lars said he liked the super group talk too. He said he has his number so call him anytime. Howard said that's interesting. He said he compares it to painting. He said some guys can paint landscapes and can't do portrait. He said Lars knows his thing and would stick with that. He said he could get nervous doing something like a Rush song. Lars said he thinks he could do it. He said he would love to play with Alex and Getty. He said it would be an uphill thing for him. He said that 2112 might be too much of a bite off an apple thing. He said the AC/DC stuff is right in his pocket though.
Howard said he thinks that he could handle anything he threw at him but Lars isn't looking to do every song in rock history. He said he thinks he could handle some John Bonham stuff. Lars said he thinks he could do that. He said he has studied a lot of music over the years. He said he still listens to Deep Purple and loves to hear their outtakes from different times. He said he has been deep diving into that stuff.
Howard and Lars spent a few minutes talking about that. They also talked about Lars being into Peloton and how he listens to music while he works out. Howard said he should be watching some of the hot chick instructors there.
Howard said he was talking to Bruce and thinking about how musicians can relate to it. He said he was excited for guys like Lars to hear that. He said he likes the idea that he was sitting there watching it. Lars said it was the coolest. He said he was thinking about it last night and Howard is channeling the rest of us and asking the questions we want to hear. He said he feels like he's in the room with them as a third wheel. He said he has never seen anyone do what Bruce did by breaking into song and just playing as he's answering. He said when they're on they're playing songs and they know what they're going to play. He said Howard steered Bruce in a direction and then he plays a song. He said that part where he was talking over the song was so cool to see. He said he also loved seeing Bruce get really intense and closing his eyes as he was doing the songs. He said he wasn't trying to say the coolest things or whatever. He said he was doing it from the fucking heart. He said he thinks when he was talking about The Rising and talking about the song and taking himself back to that club. He said it was great at the end when they had the exchange between their dads. He said that was amazing too. He congratulated him on getting in on HBO. Howard said he was just so excited for more people to see it.
Howard asked if Lars had that kind of relationship with his parents where one treated him like he was the best and on treated him like shit. Lars said his dad traveled a lot in his life and he spent a lot of time on the tennis tour with him. He said it was a lot of that kind of thing. He said as his dad got into his later years they were hanging out with a lot of famous tennis players. He said he thought his dad was the coolest. He said he didn't have what Howard and Bruce had. He said he had a rebellious thing going on in his life at 16 years old. He said he thought his parents were the coolest. He said he has done therapy and he had some issues. He said his issues were about being left alone and maybe having some abandonment issues. He said he feels so safe in the band now because they're brothers he never had. Lars was going on and on about what he had going on in his life. He said he had other issues.
Howard said Lars dad was also a jazz critic so he really did a lot. He said that might bring up other issues. Lars was going on and on about all of that as well. He was talking about his dad and his tennis career. He told Howard about going out on tour with him.
Howard asked if Lars still plays tennis. Lars said he does. He said he has a friend he plays with. Howard asked who his buddy is that he played with. Lars said the guy has been on his show. He said his name is Matthew McConaughey. He said they were playing every day and hanging out every day. Howard said he would love to be a fly on the wall for the discussions they have. Howard said their wives must have been there too. Howard asked how that friendship developed. Lars said he's a good friend. He said the family gets along and the kids do too. He said it's just great.
Howard asked if Matthew takes his shirt off when they play. Lars said there were moments when even he took his shirt off. He said it was a scary sight. He said he doesn't play a lot so getting back into it was fun.
Howard asked if Matthew won at all. He said he had to have beaten him. Lars didn't want to get into it too much.
Howard said he has to get to what Lars called in about. He said he wanted to ask him about the kid from Stranger Things. He said he was at the Metallica Headquarters playing with them. Lars said that was a whole mind fuck kind of thing. He said they were always the ''no'' guys but they said yes to this Stranger Things show. He said they finally let go and said yes to everything. He said they are familiar with the Stranger Things show and they let them use the song in the show. He said it was such a mind fuck how it became a phenomenon. He said it was totally unexpected. He said they were asked to take part in some of the social media wave and it was a lot of fun. He asked who would have thought 40 years later that these songs could still have that impact. He said Master Of Puppets is 8 or 9 minutes long. He said it was exciting to be a part of it.
Howard said this was a great way to get younger people into their music. Lars said it wasn't even about that. He said they just started saying yes to everything a couple of years ago. He said then this Stranger Things came about. He said it was unexpected how it took off. He said the kid came in and played with them and he was such a sweetheart. He said this was like back in July. He said you could see he was a formally trained actor and he came in and he was given this break and he was riding the cusp of that wave and his life was changing. He said he was talking about all of that with them.
Howard said he loved when Elton John came on and complimented James on the show. He said James melted and was brought to tears on the show. He said he loved it. Lars said he felt so good for him in that moment. He said James has always revered him in a crazy next level. He said that was like a year ago. He said what a beautiful moment. He said at heart they're still just fans. He said Kirk is 60 and it seems to him like they're aging in reverse. He said that they still wake up every day hoping today will be better than yesterday. He said to have that kind of accolade and applause coming from someone they hold in high regard was so beautiful. Howard said he loved it.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Matthew McConaughey who was playing bongos and talking about playing tennis with Lars. Howard let him go pretty quick.
Howard asked what this big announcement is. Lars said that they have been so supportive of the band for decades. He said they have had 3 or 4 great shows with them. He said they have been working on a new album for the last year or so and the one thing they're going to play one of their new songs this morning. He said they have a video coming as well. He said this thing has not leaked yet and that's amazing. He said they thought for sure it was going to leak. He said they had to shoot the video for this and they didn't leak it. He said that's pretty amazing. He said there's a new song today and a new album coming in April. He said they're touring in 2023 and 2024 and they'll be playing two shows and you get a ticket for both shows. He said it's a no repeat weekend. He said it's two different shows on those two nights. He said the album is coming on April 14th. He said there's over 77 minutes of music on the new album.
Howard said he heard this song last night. He said he was hoping it wouldn't suck. He said this song is beautiful. He said he'll play some of it now. Lars said the song is Luxy Turna. Howard played some of the song.
Howard said this is something. He said he has to be exhausted playing this. He said he could play Rush. Robin asked how he can play this and go into another song. Lars said we'll find out. Howard said that has to be difficult. Lars said double bass is hard. Howard said this is intense.
Howard said he wants to smash his head into the wall after hearing this. He said he wants to punch Fred in the face. Lars said sharing that with the world is so cool. He said that sounded so great too. He said that was great to share with them. He said they have a lot of artists do these things where they drop these things. He said they've never done this before. He said hi to his son Bryce who was on his way to school. Howard asked to say hi to him. Bryce came over and Howard said he's a good looking kid. He had to go so Howard didn't get to talk to him.
Howard asked if his son is into girls. Lars said he's very social. He said they dropped him off to see some of his buddies and he was out hanging out with his friends yesterday. He said they said yes and let him stay out until 9. He said he was home by 9 and in bed by 10:30. He said he's got a lot going on. He said he spent last night with a friend who is a girl. He said so far so good. Howard said kids hang out these days. He said it's different than it used to be.
Howard asked what it's like for that kid to have him as a father. He said it must be weird. He said it must be insane. Lars said they were talking about it in the Bruce interview. He said there's a lot of overlap. He said the kids just want you to be dad when you're home. He said that's who he is at home. He said he's not the guy from Metallica when he's at home.
Howard said it is hard to turn that off and not be worshiped at home. He said that you have to bring yourself down and try to be normal.
Robin said they saw him do the switch in seconds when he had to go from playing the song to saying goodbye to his son.
Howard said he has to sum up this whole thing. He said the new album is called 72 seasons and that's coming out April 14th. He said Lars is also announcing their M72 world tour and tickets go on sale this Friday. He said hopefully there's no snafus. Howard said he has gone to see these guys and it's some show they put on.
Howard said if you've never seen them in concert you haven't lived. He said you have to get out and see them. He said what they put out is amazing. He said he told Lars that he was at a concert and he ate horse shit. He said that's how fired up he was. Lars said he thinks they're playing at Giants Stadium. He said they're doing two nights. He said the whole tour is the no repeat weekend. He said there is one in Paris that's during the week but the rest are on weekends. He said they played one show in New York a while back. He said they usually play in the round and they have never done that in stadiums. He said they mocked up the stage at Giants Stadium to see how it would be. He said they did that for a couple of hours. He said it was daunting but exciting. He said they will be able to see everyone. He said they're going to be on the 50 yard line and have people in the center. He said they'll be playing around them. He said it's going to be a crazy fucking show.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about how the test at Giants stadium came about and all of that. It was just done as a test to see how it would work. Lars said they did change some things after seeing what it would be like. Lars also talked about how they stopped playing the same set list about 15 years ago and haven't done that since. He said they can do 40-50 songs with a little bit of warm up. Howard said that's pretty amazing.
Howard talked to Lars about playing cover songs. They don't do a lot but there are a couple they cover occasionally. Howard and Lars talked about Neil Young for a bit too.
Howard gave Lars some more plugs and wrapped up. They ended the show around 10:50am.
Howard said he was watching the news before the show. He said Donald Trump always misses being Ronald Reagan. He said that he was talking about this Nick Fuentes and how he would never meet with anti-semites and people like that. He said he always does the opposite of what you'd think. He said just do the right thing by accident if you have to. He said he has a Jewish son in law and his daughter converted. He said that it's like Bizarro Superman. He said everything is backwards in that alternate universe. He said Bizarro Superman did the wrong thing every time. He said you find yourself with Trump thinking he could be a decent human being but he can't do it. He said he does everything in the opposite way that normal people think. He said he won't come out and denounce this guy Fuentes. He said he's the bizarro president.
Howard said people just say that it's Donald Trump so that's what he does. Robin said he doesn't understand responsibility. He said he can just walk away. She said he's gotten away with it for his whole life. Robin said Lindsay Graham said that he shouldn't have met with those people but it won't affect him at all. Howard said he's not sure why he meets with Kanye West either. He said he could throw them out of Mar-A-Lago and be the next Reagan.
Robin said Howard made news yesterday with his Trump conversation. She said it was more toward Kanye West and all of that. She said the article was just quoting what he said with nothing else. She said then his Oprah comments were in the Daily News feed. She said they were talking about her flaunting her wealth. Howard said he thinks that stuff is sensationalized and he hates reading it. He said that he was being complimentary in some way about her losing weight and helping the African girls. He said he follows her feed and he was thinking about how comfortable she is showing off her palace. He said if he was working with her he'd tell her to be more careful about that with people struggling out there.
Howard said he's always shocked when they pick up what he says like he's important. Robin said she didn't think they did anything that important on the show yesterday. She said then they picked up those stories.
Howard said he does this show to entertain people. He said he loves commenting on what she does. He said that he follows her on Instagram so that's what he was talking about. Robin said they just slammed the door harder on her coming on the show. Howard said if they have that on the front cover of the news then it's a slow news day. Robin said that's what she was thinking.
JD said that this website Mediaite that covers everything that he talks about. He said they were even talking about how he was going after the Taylor Swift fans for melting down. Howard said he was just saying that there are too many fans and maybe follow someone less popular. He said you have to be a fan of more obscure fans.
Howard said he kind of likes that Mediaite site. He said they boil things down to one sentence. JD was reading some of the quotes they had from yesterday's show. Howard said they are pretty funny.
Howard said he loves being home. He said that he doesn't miss that trip into the city to get to the studio. He said he loves staying home. He said he can sit there like a lummox. He said the headlines are funny. He said they say he says things that he didn't actually say.
Robin said she was shocked that some of this stuff made it to the news. She said that he may have to run for president. She said he is being the most important word on every issue. Howard said he would not win the presidency. He said they do report on it. He said if anyone cares about what he says he thinks it's great. He said he's not against it or even the sensationalist headlines. He said he's thrilled that people care what he says. He said he's pretty sure that Oprah doesn't even hear about this.
Howard said he is so polarizing when it comes to the press. He said there was a portion of the country who probably didn't watch the Bruce Springsteen interview on HBO. He said that people think he's like Satan. He said they think he's like Nick Fuentes.
Robin said she used to go out and people would ask her who she is because she looked familiar. She said she'd say she's on the Howard Stern Show. She said they'd gasp and ask if she still works there and why. She said that's the reaction she would get.
Howard said JD just handed him this. He had a quote about the coverage of the queen's passing. He said he's glad they're having fun with that stuff. He said he's just trying to entertain people in their car. He said he's trying to keep them going.
Howard said it's funny he brought up an award because he has a story from this radio newsletter. He said they have this radio talent show going on. He said he's reading this and he's going to enter. He said they have $10,000 up for grabs. He said they have this contest going on where you enter to win for the most entertaining radio content.
Howard kept reading the name of the organization running the contest. He said they're going to have people vote on it and see who wins. Robin asked what categories they have. Howard said this is a Radio's Got Talent contest. He read the rules for the contest and all of that.
Howard said you have to go to RadiosGotTalent.com and enter to win with a couple minute long bit. Howard said they have bits. He said he's not sure how to break down their stuff to three minutes. Robin said maybe a phony phone call or something. She said they'd have to cut down everything. She said maybe Flirty Gary could win. Howard said how about Wolfie covering Fist Fest. He said they'd win in 2 seconds. Robin said how about every category.
Howard said they have a lot of categories. He said there's a lot of rules. He said it's not even $10,000. He said there are 10 winners and they win $1,000 each. Robin said they'll win every category. She said that they have to enter. Howard said he's going to enter.
Howard said years ago he was working in Detroit and they had a radio contest. He said he entered it. He said it was a contest to get on an album. He said he entered and he won. He said they put him on a record and he was all impressed with himself. He said he woke up and realized he was still stuck in Detroit. He said maybe that's why he got the other jobs though.
Howard said when he got the job in Washington DC he called the guy and tried to talk to him but he was busy watching the Super Bowl and he told him to call after. He said he wanted to work there and the guy was just annoyed with him. He said he was making $50,000 and they offered him 30,000. He said he needed at least 40,000 to take the job. Howard did his impression of that guy as he was telling the story.
Howard said one of the nicest radio guys in the world was this guy Wally Clark. He said Rick Dees sent him an email the other day and it was an obituary for Wally. He said he was such a nice guy. He said he was working in Hartford at the time and he wanted out. He said he was offered a job in Ohio. He said he didn't want to go to Ohio. He said that this station had a 51 share in the ratings. He said he didn't want to go there. He said he would have fucked up that 51 share. He said this guy Wally Clark had this station in Detroit and he went there. He said that they had a zero rating there. He said he thinks they scored a 1 but they said it had a + or -1 accuracy. He said Wally flew in and met with him in Hartford. He said this guy came and met with him and he looked like a real radio guy. He said he looked like a guy who had worked in different places. He said he slipped him the napkin to show what they were going to offer him.
Howard said Wally was a real radio man and he looked the part. He said he was in the big time. He said he flew in from Detroit just to meet with him. He said he felt like a success when that happened. He said he wishes he still had that napkin. He said they were offering him $28,000. He said it was big for him. He said he said he had to think about it. He said that he wanted to just accept it and get out of Hartford. He said it was weird. He said Wally was the guy. He said he got to Detroit and it was hopeless. He said it was the shittiest radio station there. He said it was dead last in the ratings. He said he was wondering what he had done.
Howard said Wally wanted him to get the station going. He said a few months in he left the station. He said Wally had just brought him there and then he left. He said he went back to St. Louis. He said he was the nicest guy ever. He said he asked for a raise before he left. He said he gave him the raise. He said that he didn't have a job in St. Louis for him though.
Howard said he never really saw him again. He said he was very fond of the guy. He said he worked with Rick Dees so that was a big deal for him. He said he was doing very well for himself. He said he had him over to his house and he'd go and hang with him and his wife and kid. He said his kid was a nice kid. He said he was a nice guy too. He said Wally made him feel like he was a real radio dude. He said he wanted him to take him with him to St. Louis.
Howard said Wally died. He read about Wally passing at the age of 84. Howard said he only worked with him a couple of months. He said he felt abandoned by him. He said he suffered some strokes over the past couple of years. Howard said Rick sent him a bunch of stories. He said Rick was close to Wally so he knew him better. He said rest in peace Wally. He said he was one of the good guys in radio. He said he didn't despise him like so many others did. He said that Randy Baumgarten liked him but he fired him. He said that Tom Chiusano liked him too and he still hears from him. He said he was a good guy too.
Robin said they used to hide from their Program Director in Washington. Howard said that guy scared him. He said that he would yell and scream at him about the advertisers that bailed on the station. He said he got the station to number 1 but he had a list of things he did wrong. He said that he would sit there and go off on him. He said that he would try to sneak around but the office was all glass. He said he wasn't able to hide from him.
Howard said he was like a little boy back then. He said he would get called into the office and the guy would yell at him. He said they'd lose their advertisers and he got yelled at about it. He said it was worse than being yelled at by his father.
Howard said no one appreciated his gifts. Howard said he'd say so many fucked up things. He said he'd lose advertisers like Frank's Pizza which was a local place. He said they relied on that to keep the place running. He said every day he lost more and more advertisers. Robin said she forgets who the sales manager was but one day he came running in and said everyone was gone. Howard said he felt awful about it. He said he just wanted to make them money so he could get a raise. He said there was no one even close to what he was doing.
Howard said then WNBC came in and saved him. He said that was just a warm up for what was facing him in New York. He said those guys walked in and offered him a job. He said he took it and thanked them. He said he had no idea it was going to be worse there. Robin said there is no safe place. Howard said they tried to fire him before he even more there. He said every time he hit rock bottom he sunk even more. He said it was like being an alcoholic. He said he kept staying in radio. He said they came to him and got him into New York and it was like the guys in Washington were amateurs beating him up.
Howard said he was out of the frying pan and into the toilet bowl. He said he had the worst experience ever at WNBC. Robin said they had to hide from everyone there at NBC. She said even the engineering department hated them. Howard said they had complaints filed against them for asking them to work too hard.
Howard said his ship had finally come in and his ship turned out to be the Titanic. Howard said rest in peace Wally Clark.
Howard said the one good thing about coming to New York was meeting guys like Don Imus and people like that. He said that he realizes that if he had anything else in the world going on he would have left radio in a second. He said he was so empty of any opportunity or options that he had to stay in. He said even if he had a retail job he would have left.
Robin said they took the walk to the subway from work and they were walking down the stairs and Howard said they can't leave because they had nothing else going on. Howard said he sure didn't.
Howard said there are so many Jessica's now. He started naming a bunch. Jessica said the reason she called is because she liked that Lars interview yesterday. She said she wasn't really a fan of Metallica but now she wants to see them. Howard said that band is so good. He said he saw a show they did when they had an orchestra and it was really something. He said he pulled Ralph's pants down at the concert. He said it was getting them so worked up that you do nutty things.
Howard said he wasn't even supposed to do an interview with Lars. He said he just wanted to come on and drop this song. He said that with Lars its so interesting that he had to stick with him. He said he called him after the show and said they talked another hour after the show. He said it was a lot of fun.
Howard said a lot of people wrote him about the new Metallica song. He said the song is a 3 minute and 21 second song. He said this is a short one. He said that he thought the song was really good. He said he hears that riff and he wants to go fuck a light socket. He played the song and said that you do stuff you don't normally do.
Howard read some feedback about the Lars interview. He had a lot of people who were hyped up over the whole thing. Howard said people were wishing that Jose Mangin was in there too. He said he had him in one time and the guy was going nuts over the band. He said he didn't know what to do with himself.
Howard said this song really gets you worked up. He said they do a great live show. He said he loves musicians.
Howard said he thinks he has to sneeze. He had to take a second to do that. He sneezed a couple of times. He said he loves sneezing. He said his voice gets deeper after he does that. He said just listen to him. He put his voice through his harmonizer.
Howard said he got a voice over job early on in his career. He said he tried to pull out his nasal hairs to sneeze but the guy just saw him picking his nose. He said told them that he was just warming up. He said he was praying for a sneeze.
Howard said they just thought he was a weirdo. He said they liked his voice but he had recorded his stuff after he had sneezed. He said that's how he got deep with his voice. He said he had no fucking sneeze. He did the commercial read and it was his higher voice. He did an impression of that. He said that he did this commercial for Voyage. He said no one called him again after that. He said that was his last big commercial.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the chat with Lars was amazing. Howard said that's his man. He said he was talking about playing tennis with Matthew McConaughey. He said he was good yesterday. The caller said he was great with Springsteen too. He said he's interviewed some of the greats and he has to think about how far he's come.
Howard said Bruce is a humble guy who doesn't even know how big he is. He said he's shocked he gets to be on stage with Paul McCartney. He said Bruce was so keeping it real in that interview. He said that's why he was desperate to get that show on HBO. He said watch it on HBO or on the app. Robin said she saw it on HBOMax last night. She said that it was under the ''Just Added'' section. She said she got excited just seeing that. Howard said he hates to say it but he thinks he's going to click on it and watch. Robin said she did. She said it's the very first thing and she had to watch it. She said it starts off with Bruce coming into the studio and Howard says he's star struck. She said the smile that came over her face... She said it was great watching Bruce being so joyful. She said she got lifted up by it. Howard said Lars thought it was great too. Howard said Lars really listened to it and knew what they said.
Howard said he loves that the show is available to a broader audience now. Robin said it's on the app and on Sirius now. She said a lot of people will be able to see it. She said Bruce is awesome. Robin said she also watched the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. She said Bruce was there and he'll always be different to her now.
Howard said Bruce said that if someone wants to know him better he tells them to watch that interview. He said that's great.
The caller said that his interviews have been unbelievable and he really appreciates that. Howard said there are some people on the internet who leave comments and you can get the shit knocked out of you. Howard said he saw someone say that he's just a rich asshole. He said there's a lot of negativity out there. He said then he gets angry. He said he grew up in a sewer. Robin said that's what Oprah sys when she hears Howard. Howard said there's a lot of jealousy out there. He said that's just what he was talking about with her yesterday. He said she should be more self conscious about it.
Howard said a bunch of people wrote in about his pets. He said he talks to his cats and people wrote in about that. He said Beth likes it. He said she starts yelling at him if he doesn't say good morning to the pets. Howard read some of the comments he got about that stuff. Howard said someone remembers Robin talking to her horse Blaze. Howard said you'd think Robin was married to that horse hearing that. He played a clip of Robin talking to the horse. Howard said Blaze passed away in 2007. He said rest in peace Blaze.
Howard said he got some feedback about his appearance on Morning Joe. He said he enjoyed doing that show. Robin said that should be the next thing they air on HBO. Howard read some of the feedback about that interview.
Howard said that interview was on the morning after the Walmart mass shooting. He said Fred Gutenberg who lost his daughter in a shooting said that his interview soothed him. He read what Fred said about that interview.
Howard said there were some other nice things about him out there. He read more about his interview on HBO. He said some people heard it but still watched it on HBO. Howard said one woman was crying when she heard the meaning behind Tougher than the Rest. Howard said how do you like that. He played some of that explanation from the interview.
Howard said he gets goose bumps from that. He said he wants to be back in that room and re-live that moment. He said that was so incredible to listen to that in the same room. He said that was like a high and he can't even tell you. He said he wants to experience it again. Robin said she gets it. She said there's a commercial on TV with Joe Montana and he talks about what it's like when you get that ball and it's down to you and making that pass. She said he said then you connect with the receiver and you go and it's the greatest feeling in the world. She said he wishes everyone could have that feeling. Howard said that's how he felt about Bruce.
Howard said they asked Asian Pete if they could play a game with him. He said he has an interesting accent. Robin said she's not sure it is an accent.
Howard said they met Pete back in 2009. He played a clip from the Saddest Virgin Game they played back then. Howard said he's a very sweet guy. He said he's hard working as well. He said he knows he's a huge fan of the NFL. He said they asked him to name the teams and they're going to see if Robin can name them.
Howard said this is the Asian Pete Game. He asked what team he's attempting to say. He played a clip and told Robin he only got 2 right last night when he heard this. Howard played the clip and Robin said that she has to hear it again. Howard played it again... a few more times. Robin said it sounds like Burlesque and Tickle. Robin said she's not getting it. She said that she has no guess. Howard said it's the Cincinnati Bengals. Robin said now that he says it she can work it out.
Howard said this is the next one. He played the clip and Robin said Dallas Cowboys. She was right.
Howard played another one. Robin didn't get it. She asked to hear it a few more times. Howard said that was the Detroit Lions. Robin said that can't be it. She heard it again and said now she can hear it.
Howard played another clip and Robin said this is the toughest game. Howard said this is the other one he got. Robin said that has to be the Philadelphia Eagles. Howard said that's right.
Howard played another clip and Robin had to hear that a couple of times. She said it's the Indianapolis Colts. She was right.
Howard played another clip a bunch of times and Robin didn't get it. It was the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Howard played another clip and Robin got the Las Vegas raiders but called them Los Angeles. Howard said he'll give her that one.
Howard played another clip and Robin had to hear that a couple of times before getting San Francisco 49ers. Howard said Robin is good. He said he only got 2.
Howard said that was a fun game. He said don't steal that. He said that you think about game shows and this one requires some skill. He said it's not easy like that game that Howie Mandel hosted.
Howard said they have people coming up who they could have great conversations with. Michael said they must have something to announce today. Howard said there are a lot of interviews coming up. He said they also have a policy where they don't interview every day. He said he likes to just talk to Robin some days. He said they have a plan there. He said just hang in there.
Howard said Michael was a great guest when he spanked Richard. He said he's a great guest too. Michael said his wife was not happy about that. He said his family was affected by it too.
Michael asked if Howard would go up and bring Gary on stage to accept an Emmy. Howard said no. Michael said he's afraid that he's going to attack Howard like a wild monkey even though he's been trained well over the years.
Howard said Gary did a great thing. Michael said the first plane Gary is going to grab is Howard. He said he's going to rip that mane of hair off his head and then who knows what will happen after that.
Gary said he has to say that they're always working. He said they have guests like Bruce and then guests like Michael. He said they're all over the place. Howard let Michael go a short time later.
Robin said they used to laugh at Gary for saying he was networking but it turns out he really was. Howard said Gary won't rip off anyone's face when he's on stage. Gary said he thinks that Howard could win that Emmy and that would be the E for Bruce's EGOT. He said he's already won a Grammy, Oscar and Tony. Howard said that would be a cool thing if they won for that. He said he'd go up and thank everyone for their help. He said he has so many people to thank. He said the whole gang he has to thank.
Howard said he'd wear that thing around his neck if he won. He said that he'd look like Flavor Flav.
Howard said he was thinking about this fantasy football league that they have there. He said Michael gets very homo erotic when he talks to the guys who are in the league. He had a montage of Michael shit talking the guys and it's all gay stuff he's talking about doing to the guys.
Howard said that's how you play. He said he's watched gay porn that was straighter than that. He said a lot of football is very sexual. He said he has a clip of some announcers talking about a game last month. Howard played the clip and the announcer was talking about ''sticking that thing in there'' and mentioning the tight end. Howard had a montage of other homo erotic sounding clips from various announcers. Robin said she never thought about it that way.
Howard said even Al Michaels has done it. He played a clip of Al talking about a guy having too big of a load. That was actually Joe Buck. Howard played another Al Michaels clip where he was talking about something that sounded kind of homo erotic too.
Howard said when they say coming it sounds very dirty. He had a montage of those clips too.
Howard played a phony phone call the guys made to a show using those homo erotic terms from the announcers. Richard was using a lot of really dirty sounding stuff with this radio show host. He kept getting more and more graphic and the host didn't seem to know what to do. By the end of it Richard was playing gay porn clips for the guy.
Howard had Michael Rapaport back on the phone. He said he has to take a break. Michael said he's just been talking football with the guys. He said they're taking it to another level. He said it's kind of filthy and disgusting if you think about it. Howard said alright then. He let him go and went to break.
Howard came back and said he can't believe that Eddie Van Halen is dead. He said that his son's band Mammoth is going to be part of the Metallica tour. He said that he saw him doing a tribute to his father doing the Eruption song in a concert and he was good.
Howard said this song is Unchained. He said this is one of the songs that Eddie still got goose bumps to when he'd listen back to it. He said that it was originally called ''Hit the ground running.'' He had another story about how the line ''One break, coming up!'' came about.
Howard asked Steve Nowicki if he thinks that Wolfgang is good on guitar. Steve said he really is. He said he plays the way his father would play live. He said it wasn't note for note with the record. Howard said he knows when Wolfgang took over for Michael Anthony that he didn't think he could play but it turns out he can play. He said he was very good and did a great tribute to his dad. He said this kid has massive talent.
Steve said that Eddie would do a pick slide and Wolfgang did it in a different way and it was just amazing. Howard had to slow Steve down to get the story right there. Steve went into the explanation about how he starts off the song ''Hot for Teacher.'' He said that Eddie would do it different live. He said Wolfgang nailed the spirit of Eddie. He said he had fun with it instead of doing it note for note. Steve said he's also doing his own guitar line. He said he's working on that now. He said that's really cool too. He said he think he's going to release it through EVH eventually. Howard said Steve knows a lot of shit.
Howard asked if he's a better guitar player than Wolfgang. Steve said not at all. He said he's really good. He said he just plays a little bit. Howard asked if he ever comes up with his own riffs. Steve said he does. He said he has one he can play but he has to switch guitars. He said this is a telecaster that he's building. He said he has it in a weird tuning. He said that it has micro tonal frets on it. He demonstrated what that can do. He said it's sort of out of tune and it has a middle eastern sound.
Howard asked to hear one of the riffs he's working on. Steve played it for him. Howard sang about jamming with him. He sang he's jamming with Nowicki.
Howard said damn they're good. Steve said they should start a band. Robin said they should go right into the hall of fame. Howard said he did justice to his music. Steve said he came up with the band name Tuchas and he thinks they'd be awesome. Steve played more. Howard said he has to say the name right. He had him add more ''chh'' to the name.
Howard and Steve jammed a bit more. Steve played more and Howard made stuff up about smelling his Tuchas and things like that.
Howard said this is what he's been waiting for. He said that was ''Smell My Tuchas.'' He said that's the kind of stuff he writes. He said he only writes when he has something to say. He said he wants the audience to know. Steve said that he has this sustainer feedback on his guitar. He demonstrated that for Howard too.
Howard said he has more to his song. He had Steve play and sang more about his dark and dirty Tuchas. Howard said that's the sound he wants. He made up more lyrics for the song. He was singing about parting the hairs. He said fuck he's good. Robin said now he has to come up with a chorus. He said he has the lyrics. Howard said he has no chorus in his band. He said no hooks. He said this reminds him of Paul McCartney writing ''Get Back''.
Howard said he's open to the idea of this band Tuchas. He told Steve not to practice too hard. He said he has to get back to work. He said he should be doing less guitar and more Trump. He said he told him he has to write that.
Robin said that she was reading about that Nick Fuentes guy and he is mixed Hispanic and he identifies as white so that's how he's a white supremacist. Howard said it doesn't work that way. Howard said it's crazy. He said he doesn't know what's going on.
Howard said JD told him about his Thanksgiving and said that everyone was complaining about their health issues. He said that there was a lot of stuff going on there. JD said they were telling him what he had to look forward to. Howard said he's only on one pill right now. He said that's pretty good for a dude his age. Howard said it's a cholesterol pill. He said he has issues even though he's very careful with what he eats. He said he stopped running and it all fell apart. He said that flushes shit out. He said that he can't do it anymore. He said he gets jealous seeing people running. He said it's bullshit. He said he saw this guy running and he and Beth were walking. He said he thought Beth would leave him for that guy but she wasn't looking at his ass. He said she only seems to have eyes for him. He said he doesn't believe it but it does seem that way. Robin asked if she's a good actress.
Howard said he has to lose 7 pounds to fit in this tux. He said he got it when he was on America's Got Talent. He said he was pencil thin back then. He said he did the stupidest thing when he got thin. He said he got a whole new wardrobe. He said that's the dumbest fucking move you can make. He said it's not a realistic weight. He said he brought in a tailor and made everything tight. He said he looked good and wanted to show it off.
Howard said he got back with his trainer and he has to cut back on his calories. He said he can't eat less for breakfast. He said he ash to have his big breakfast. He said he has yogurt and some cashews. He said he had some egg salad for lunch. He said he just has that with lettuce. He said for dinner he can't have more than one plate. He said he has to have just one. He said he's done and no dessert. He said he was going for seconds at times. He said he sued to have 7 grapes or an apple. He said that he has to cut back on that. He said he has been walking and doing Peloton. He said he can't get the weight off. He said he has the titties and belly.
Howard said Mike Pearlman is the most buff dude on the staff and he has advice for him. He said he's not sure he can do what he does. He said if he does weights the back of his head hurts. He said he can't do it. Robin said that's all in his head.
Howard asked Mike what his advice is. Jason said he's having an issue with his equipment. Howard said they put up a note saying he was ready to go. Will said he thought that it was obvious that they were setting him up. He said Mike should have known.
Mike came on and Howard said he should be on if they say he's ready. Mike said he had to run down from upstairs.
Mike said if Howard is having trouble with the weights then do calisthenics. Howard said he used to do a lot of pull ups. He said he used to do intervals of 14. He said the back of his head hurts if he does them now. He said the whole thing is falling apart. He said he has to stretch. Mike said that's important. He said Howard should do a work out where he jumps rope. Howard said he can't do that. He said Mike is young. He said double his age and he'll see. Mike is 35.
Howard said he used to be able to do all of this stuff but he can't do it now. Mike said he thinks he has to get through that and keep doing it. Howard said he tried doing Yoga. He said he wasn't able to do it. Mike asked if he can touch his toes. Howard said he thinks he can. He said he puts a little bend in his knees. Mike said he can't touch his either without bending at the knees.
Howard said he takes a shower and he feels like he's going to tip over when he closes his eyes. He said he may need a bar in there to hold on to. He said it's a drag. He said he has to lose that weight before his daughter's wedding.
Mike asked how long ago it was that he was working out with Marco Battaglia. Howard said maybe 10 years ago. Mike said this has all fallen off in the past 10 years then. Howard said it has.
Mike said he thinks that he should try the cardio to the pull ups. Howard said he does push ups now and he has to use the bar for squatting. He said he doesn't get on the floor. He said he does child push ups. Mike said he feels like he's more capable. He said he sees guys his age that don't look half as fit. He said Howard hasn't reached that point yet. Howard said it's all smoke and mirrors.
Howard said he has to get fit so he can get that tux on. He said he likes that tux. He said he only wore it once. He said he wants to look human walking his daughter down the aisle. He said it's a mess.
Howard said he didn't look that good in the Springsteen interview. He said he didn't even care that much because it was such a good interview. He said he looks like he has the shoulders of an old lady.
Mike asked if he has ever done the perfect push up thing. Howard said he has done it all. He said he used to do that. He said his diet is right. Robin said he should be losing weight and building muscle. Howard said he thought Mike could help.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Mike Pearlman who said he isn't eating the lean and clean. Fake Mike gave him some diet advice. Howard had both Mikes giving him advice and talking about the old days. Howard asked the two Mikes to talk to each other. Real Mike gave some advice and then fake Mike gave advice. Howard let them go back and forth for a few minutes.
Howard said they sent Wolfie to this buffet that's 200 feet long. He said it's the biggest buffet in the country. Wolfie said he has never seen anything like it. He said it goes on forever. Howard said they had every type of food you can imagine. Howard ran down the list of things they have. Howard said these people want to beat the system when they go to one of these things. He said they have to get everything. Howard did an impression of his parents talking about going to a buffet. He said his mother would call it a ''Boo-fey.''
Howard said his father would tell him what he'd get and how he'd just get one serving. Howard had his mother and father complaining about people going and getting so much food. He said every time they went he'd get the report back from them about what was happening there. Howard said his parents would go and talk about the fat and how horrible it was. He was going on and on with their complaining.
Howard said he used to go do dinner with his parents and he had to get out of that house. He said they used to go to this chicken place that had great fried chicken. He said it was called Viebrock's. He said that his mother would say she had to look at the menu and his father would yell at her to just order.
Howard had Wolfie and JD cracking up at his impression of his father. He said it was a fucking nightmare. He said his parents invented fat shaming.
Howard said he would never go to dinner with his parents after he got out of that house. He said they went to this place called Scotty's in Rockville Center. He said that this guy Scotty was a Scottish guy who was really nice. Howard said his parents would go to this place and his father would do the build up in the car. He did his impression of his parents talking about the guy and how he'd tell them stories at the table. He said they'd complain and complain about this guy. He did his impression of his parents going on and on about Scotty and what a pain in the ass he was to them.
Howard said he would get there to the restaurant and he would count the seconds until Scotty came over. He said he was a nice man. He said he ran a great restaurant. He said he made great food and all his parents did was complain about him. Howard said he could see his father turn red when Scotty would come over.
Howard said it was horrible. He said he just wanted it to be over. He said his parents never went out with any friends. He said one time they went out with a relative and he thought his father was going to kill him after that. He said he was the one who got the lecture from his father though. He did his impression of his father going through that.
Howard said his mother didn't even remember how his father proposed to her. He said he's not sure she even knew what love was. He said he gets a lot of information from her now that she's up there in age. Robin said it sounds like she was repressed in her life. She said that she had to agree with Ben on his opinions. Howard said his mother just likes to be taken care of and she never had that. He said now she gets it and doesn't want to leave the house. He said she's all doped up now on pain killers too. He said who knows what she's saying.
Howard said he still has anxiety over going out to dinner. He said that he's not sure how he's even alive now.
Howard said getting back to the buffet they sent Wolfie out to this buffet in Pennsylvania. He said that he saw some crazy stuff going on there. He said this is the largest buffet in America. He said they were very nice and let him come in. He said he talked to the manager there and he talked about the most popular items there. The manager said they serve up about 900 pounds of bacon a day during the week and maybe 1800 on a weekend day. She told Wolfie that they have had people try to steal food and one woman lined her purse with foil and took a bunch of chicken. She told Wolfie that someone told on them and let them know.
Howard said Robin's family used to try to steal the silverware. Robin said they did. She said that she took them out to eat and she had to tell them not to take anything. Howard said Robin said she's never taking them out again because they tried to steal everything from the table. Robin said they were looking to steal the real silver silverware. She said she had to tell them to put it down.
Howard said that's a lot of bacon that woman was talking about. He said 1800 pounds is a lot. He said the second most popular food is fried chicken and they sell 1200 pounds of that a day. He said there is no time limit there so some people stay there for four hours straight. Robin asked what it costs to get through the door. Wolfie said it's $13 for breakfast. He said you could just stay there all day though.
Howard said people are so dishonest that they try to steal food. He said they're going to bankrupt the buffet. He said Sal told him that his father would stack beer over live lobster so he could get them for free. He said that he would say he had a bad back and have the cashier ring it up. Howard said that must have been tough. Sal said it was so embarrassing. He said he never got caught. He said they would go to this IGA and you could take out the lobsters with the tongs. He said that he'd get to the cashier and not tell them about the lobsters.
Howard said he doesn't like dishonest people like that. He said it drives him crazy. He said that he doesn't like women who buy clothes for a weekend and then return it. He said it's so dishonest. Robin said there's a store chain that let you just pick an item and put it in your cart after scanning it. Robin said they had to stop that because there was so much theft.
Howard said he has a friend who told him a story over thanksgiving about needing a bigger table. He said they got one at this store and then returned it after this big meal. He said he got a full refund. He said they treat the store like it's a rental place. He said they're going to put them out of business.
Sal said they had a King Kullen store next to their pizzeria. He said they stock guys would come in and get pizza. He said his father took this label gun they left there and made his own labels for the food. He said he would change them so he could get cheaper stuff. He said one time this woman forgot her three steaks and his father ended up taking them. Howard took a quick call from a guy who told a story about someone he knew who stole from stores.
Howard got back to the buffet thing and had a story that a buffet employee told. It was a story about a customer who threw up and then went back and got more food. Howard said he wants to get a job there just to see what happens. He said one employee told Wolfie about seeing food stacked 8 inches high on the plate. He said why not just go back. He said they don't want to go back to the line. Howard said he thinks if you eat and threw up then you should be done. Wolfie said it's called making room.
Howard said Wolfie spoke to a blind customer who talked about how thrown off he is by the smells there. He told Wolfie about the farting and belching that goes on at the buffet. He said you get the food and fart smell mixed together.
Howard said the other issue at the buffet is the line skipping. He said people will jump ahead of you in line. He said that they have a lot of shenanigans going on there. Howard said Wolfie froze. He said maybe he'll join them again.
Howard said Wolfie said a lot of the people there look like hospital patients. He said there's a lot of wheelchairs and things there. Howard said this next guy gave a rundown of what he had on his plate. He was connected to a medical device. It was something for his emphysema. He was running down the list of things he had on his plate and it was a lot.
Howard said his parents once took him to his sister's college to visit and he went to a buffet with them. He said he got toast and pancakes and his father went berserk on him. He said he was complaining about having too many carbs. Howard said toast and pancakes were both bread to his father. He said he shamed him into not eating the bread. Robin said he did have a point there.
Howard said Wolfie told them that last guy looked like Guillermo from the Jimmy Kimmel show. Wolfie said he did not look healthy.
Howard said this next guy is a true veteran of the buffet. He said he knows everything. In the clip he told Wolfie that he's had up to 8 plates of buffet food. He told some shit stories about the bathrooms there at the buffet.
Howard said Wolfie went above and beyond. He said Wolfie embedded himself in the bathroom there at the buffet for 2 hours. He said these are the sounds from inside the bathroom there. Wolfie said that he went into the bathroom and he heard sounds in there when he went to pee. He said he just sat in the stall and the hardest part was not laughing. He said he had to keep his composure.
Howard played a montage of people shitting in the bathroom there. There were some really loud sounds coming from the stalls in there. Howard wondered if HBO wants to put that on. Wolfie was cracking up. Howard asked if he's okay. Wolfie said he didn't record it all. He said people would come in watching movies on their iPhone. He said he didn't understand. Howard said that was condensed but there was a lot of shitting going on in there.
Wolfie said he'd see a big guy walking Howard the bathroom and he had to go in there. He said most did not disappoint. Howard said he heard on the tape where the guy cleared his throat. He said he was trying to drown out the sound of the shit hitting the water.
Howard asked if anyone left after shitting. Wolfie said they all went back to their tables and ate more.
Howard said Wolfie got an exclusive with the janitor there at the buffet. Howard played the clip and Wolfie asked what the biggest mess was that he had to clean up there. The guy said that someone had already pooped on the floor in the bathroom. He said he has had to clean up some really bad messes. He said that's his job though. He said he'd like it if people didn't eat themselves sick there. He said that's his advice to people there.
Howard said give this guy a raise or the presidential medal of freedom. He said that's a hard working man. He said he sounded like a defeated Kermit the Frog. He did his impression of the guy sounding like Kermit.
Howard said Wolfie did it again. He said he went under cover at his own risk and sat in the bathroom for hours. Robin asked if he pulled his feet up. Wolfie said he didn't. Howard said don't ask him about his secrets. Howard asked why someone would poop on the floor. Robin said maybe it was an urgent situation.
Wolfie said at the Wing Bowl thing they talked about that happening there. He said people have no patience so the just shit before getting on the bowl. Howard thanked Wolfie for the report. Howard said they have another show tomorrow so they'll end it here. Howard wrapped up and did a live commercial read before ending the show.
Howard said the big news is the news about Iran and the soccer game. He said they have to say the name Iran the right way. He said they called a player out for saying it wrong. He said it became political. He said a reporter was busting the balls of this player. Robin had all the details so they went through that. Howard said if he was asked those questions he would have given the reporter a big fuck you. He said that he also would have pointed out that women don't have any rights over in Iran and he'd take this country over that shithole any day.
Howard said he would have said at the press conference that he knows there is no border crisis in Iran. He said no one is trying to get in there. He said he'll learn how to say Iran when they stop putting women in jail for trying to get an education.
Howard said they don't like it when women have a big mouth over there. Robin asked how to pronounce Qatar. She said she's heard a lot of ways to pronounce it. She said they have all kinds of weird rules there too.
Howard said he should mention that Fred is spending the holidays in Iran. He said he loves going on vacation over there. He said then he goes to Qatar. He said he likes it because it rhymes with guitar.
Howard said he woke up hearing about the U.S. beating Iran in the soccer match. He said he's glad they won because they needed a good fucking over.
Howard said he also heard about Trump meeting with that white supremacist guy Nick Fuentes. He said he was also hanging out with Kanye West. He said what a disgrace this guy is. He said the guys put this together for him to find out about this Nick Fuentes. He said they have a montage of clips of him saying racist and sexist things. He said he's also anti-democracy. He said the montage sounds awfully confusing. Howard played the clip and the guy was talking about not supporting LGBTQ rights or women's rights. He was complaining about a lot of stuff from the holocaust to not being able to hit women anymore. He was also saying that Trump called him smart and said he likes him too.
Howard said there were some people calling him out for sounding gay because of his voice. He said that he addresses that too. Nick said he doesn't date and people think he's gay. He said he's really more heterosexual than anyone. He said having sex with women is gay and having sex with men is gay. He was going on and on about needing the love of a woman is gay.
Howard said this is what's wrong with the men psyche. He said if you ask for tenderness then they think it's gay. He said it's such a strong defense mechanism. He asked what could have happened to this guy to make him think that way. Howard said it's not that gay to want a woman's love. He said just try it.
Robin asked who this guy hangs out with. She said here can't be a lot of guys like that. Howard said he's sure there aren't. He said he's not sure what these two dues were talking about.
Howard took a call from fake Donald Trump who was calling in from vacation. He said he works while he vacates. Howard asked Fake Trump about what he was talking to Nick Fuentes about. Trump said he doesn't endorse white supremacists even if some of them are great. He said he doesn't endorse them but he does love them because they love him.
Howard said it seems that this whole thing about the Jews is out there. He said he has a Jewish son in law and Jewish grandchildren. Trump said he's just trying to help people. He said he heard that Fuentes was bringing friends with him to lunch and he just thought the guy was a bus boy. He said he looks 12 years old. Howard said it sounds like he was just confused. Trump said he's never confused.
Howard talked to fake Trump about what they talked about at dinner and about who paid. Trump said he loves the Jewish people and they're so crafty and good with money. He said that they think that his middle initial is for Jewish but it actually stands for ''Jenius.''
Howard asked fake Trump about what they were talking about because he wants to get Fuentes' side. Trump said if he says anything about him that's out there then he's out of his mind and unhinged. He said if he agrees with him then he's just as much of a genius as he is. Trump said don't believe a word Kanye says about him either unless he agrees with what he says.
Howard let fake Trump go a short time later. Robin said he was making a lot of sense this morning. Howard said that Fuentes clip was crazy. He said everything was gay to him.
Howard took a call from fake Nick Fuentes and it was the guys playing Richard Simmons audio clips. The had Richard singing his answers to Howard as Nick. Howard said if he's just going to sing he's hanging up.
Howard took a call from fake Mel Gibson who said he loves this Fuentes guy. He was huffing and puffing and Howard hung right up on him.
Howard played some audio of Noah asking Smith about what has gone on since that day. Will said that it was a horrific night. Howard said yeah, for Chris Rock. Will said there were a lot of complexities that day and he just lost it. He said you just never know what someone is going through. He said he was going through something that night and not that it justifies his behavior but he had something going on. He said we just have to be nice to each other. Howard said he learned that he has to be nice to other people. He said it was a bad night for him.
Howard said that was the statement. He said he was a little dissatisfied with that so he asked for Will to come on the show to talk with them. He said Will won't come on but Will Smith Audio Book will come on.
Howard had Will Smith Audio Book come on. The guys edited clips of Will so Howard could answer his questions. They had Will talking about how he's way too uptight and he has changed. He said he wanted to tell some jokes about his wife. Howard said he likes what he's saying. He said he beat up Chris Rock and he's there to show he has a sense of humor about this. They had Will saying his wife is so bald that pool players keep trying to hit her head into the corner pocket.
Howard said this shows he has some maturity there. They had Will saying that his wife is so bald that on Easter they painted her head like and Easter egg and had her hide in the back yard. Howard said that's brutal.
Howard asked if he has any more jokes about his wife. Will said that his wife is so bald that she's going to play Uncle Fester.
Will said that Jada Audio Book is right there. She came in and started hitting him. Will said that she's hitting him so hard. Howard said the audio books are fighting. Howard said maybe they shouldn't have told jokes. They had Jada hitting Will over and over.
Robin said she didn't buy that interview with Trevor Noah. Howard said he's thinking that it was his wife giving him the look that made him go over and slap Chris. He said that he knew what was going through his head at the time. He said he has to live with his wife so he'd rather have Chris mad at him than his wife. Howard said the world is fucked up so that's why he hides in his house.
Howard said he could have done a better job dressing himself that day. He said he wanted to look like a man of the people. He said he wore a light sweater with a hoodie. He said he didn't want Bruce to see him with the scarves and stuff hiding behind all of that. The caller said he didn't look bad. Howard said thank you. The caller said it looked fine. He said Bruce wasn't wearing a scarf either. Howard said he was wearing a t-shirt. He said he's in his 70s and he's muscular. He said the guy looked awesome. Robin said he doesn't look like a 70 year old man. Howard said not at all. He said he looked happy. He said he wasn't trying to kiss his ass but he looked handsome and much younger than his years.
Howard said yesterday he went for a walk with Beth. He said he also does Peloton but he had to blow it off yesterday. He said he had to call a lawyer about his father's belongings and stuff. He said he had to do homework for the radio show. He said it was one thing after another. He said he should have gotten on the Peloton but he didn't have time. He said after dinner he sits with the wife and cats for a while. He said he has to get his look ready for the next morning too.
The caller asked who his gym guy is. Howard said that's Pat. He said he started with him right after Private Parts. He said this guy gave him one of the greatest gifts ever. He said he started running with him. He said it felt fatherly. He said his father never asked him to do anything like that. He said he went running in the rain and he remembers feeling this sense of liberation that he was throwing away the old wives tales. He said his mother told him he could never run in the rain. He said this guy Pat got him to do it and he loves the guy so much. He said he asked his parents to join the gym and work out with Pat. He said it was the biggest mistake ever. He said the showed up and he and Pat were suiting up for a run. He said his mother asked what they were doing. He said it was raining out. He said that he told her he likes to run in the rain. He said she told him he'd get sick and lose his voice. He said she put that in his head. He said he went running with him anyway. He said he got a scowl from his mother over that.
The caller asked if he has used a foam roller with Pat. Howard said he has. He said Pat has to deal with an older man now and everything hurts. He said he knows that if he pushes him too hard he won't be able to do it. He said Pat is good. He said he thinks he's the best trainer around.
Howard said he as interesting stuff in the book. He said he found out that monkeys don't get cancer. He said he's going to have his own TV show on Paramount+ soon too.
Howard said his friend Drew Friedman put out a new book too. He said that's a good book (Maverix and Lunatix: Icons of Underground Comix)
Howard took a call from Bobo who said that he has been going through something since March. He said he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and he wants people to get tested for that. Howard said Bobo has done this thing where he claims that he's going through something and it's nothing. He said that he claimed his brother died on 9/11 but it turned out it wasn't 9/11. He said that Bobo doesn't have prostate cancer. He said Gary is telling him something else.
Gary said he thinks Jason should jump on with this. He asked Bobo what he went through. Bobo said his numbers spiked up and they gave him a test. He said this was back in February. He said he went through the test and they said he had cancer. He said he had a biopsy. He said they found cancer. He said they took 12 samples and 3 were cancerous. He said it was a low form and it doesn't need treatment yet. He said if it spikes up then he has to get radiation. He said he has to get tested frequently.
Howard said the guys are telling him that his numbers are up but they're not treating it. He said Bobo is claiming he has cancer. He said he knows guys who get treated and get radiation. Bobo said that he has the paperwork.
Jon Blitt got on and said that Bobo called him about this and he was really worried about what was going on. He said that they're not doing anything but they are testing him every few months. He said they're testing his levels.
Howard said don't call in and say you have prostate cancer if you don't really have it. He said he has friends who have gone through it and they really suffered. He said that it sounds to him that he didn't have any treatment. Robin said it sounds like they removed the cancer with the biopsy. Bobo said he has something on the Gleason scale of 6.
Howard said he had a cancerous mole removed but he doesn't go around saying he has cancer. He said he ash to get checked too. He said he isn't saying he's dying of cancer. He said he has to get checked though. Blitt said that's what Bobo was doing. Bobo said he's not doing that. He said when they did this biopsy they did it when he was awake. He said they snipped out 12 samples and they said that when it's so low then they don't have to treat it. Howard said it's good to get the PSA test every year and that's good. He said don't go around claiming you have cancer.
Robin said that the lowest score on this Gleason scale is a 6. She said 5 and below aren't used. Robin said the six is very low grade and it's not treated. She said the grows so slowly that he will probably die of old age. Howard said don't start wearing a jacket saying he's a cancer survivor. Bobo said he won't do that.
Bobo said his only message is that he wants people to get tested. He said he hates getting rested every 3 months though. He said it freaks him out. He said it's hard to concentrate when he has that over his head.
Howard said he just wants him to be careful and not play it up too much. He said he thinks he'll be alright. He said he's not discounting what he's saying but he does get dramatic.
Howard said it is a good message. Bobo said the doctor sat him down and said that you don't want cancer but if you get it then this is the one you want. Robin said that he's thinking that he's going to die even though he's not.
Howard took a call from a guy who called himself Dr. Levine. He said that Bobo does have cancer. He said that 6 is the level that it starts at. He said that there are treatment options for him. He said they wouldn't do Chemo for him but there are other treatments. He said they do PSA lab tests every 6 months for someone like him. He said if the score goes up then they would do something else for him. Howard said Bobo has been calling the office saying he's dying and he's not. Dr. Levine said there are studies about this and they have found that people 10 years out have an equal outcome of people who get treatments. He said he should talk to his treatment team about this very carefully. He was going deep into the weeds with stats and things about this cancer.
Howard said he's warning Bobo on this because he can get carried away. He said he's a nut himself and he has to go for his yearly exam and they do all of that for him. He said if he gets a Gleason score of 6 he's going to think he's dying too. He said he may not announce he's dying though. He said no one wants to have any of that stuff.
Bobo asked if Dr. Levine thinks that he should have it ever 6 months or every year getting the biopsy. Levine said that he thinks it's every two years and that should be fine. Howard asked if Bobo is retaining this. He said he's saying that he shouldn't get a probe every 3 months. He said he should get the blood work done. Bobo said that's what he's doing. He said he has a lot of anxiety every 3 months. He said that's what he's worried about.
Howard said how about getting treatment now. Levine said that some patients do that. Howard said if you do get surgery then it can mess up your stuff down there. Dr. Levine said that they can do it without having erectile dysfunction.
Howard said he has read that cumming 30 times a month can help with that. Robin asked what he thinks about that. He said he's only getting in 10-12 times a month. Dr. Levine said that he's been a listener for 35 years and he has to thank Howard for all of the laughter. He said he got him through a lot of depressing stuff. He said he's an avid listener. He said he is the best so thank you. Bobo asked if it's good to eat pumpkin seeds. Howard said he's busy talking to the doctor himself. He asked if he should be trying to hit higher numbers. Dr. Levine said he's not sure what the numbers really are. He said he'd have to look into that.
Howard asked about the pumpkin seed thing. Dr. Levine said that is not going to help. He said he has heard that you have to eat up to 20 pounds of tomatoes too.
Robin asked about seeding the prostate to kill the cancer. Dr. Levine told her that it's only good for some patients. He said there are some who need external beam treatments.
Howard was going to let Dr. Levine go but he said that he heard about Ronnie passing out in the shower. He said he'd be worried about that. He said he should check with a cardiac specialist. Howard said he thought that was when he was shitting. Robin said it was when he was with Stephanie. Ronnie said he blew his load in the shower and they were in hot water and he just got light headed. He said he didn't pass out. Howard said he has to throw up first.
Howard said Ronnie won't even get a colonoscopy. Dr. Levine told him he really should. He said that colon cancer can start with a small polyp. He said that they can get rid of it if he gets a colonoscopy. Howard said you don't want to go out with that. He said it's painful when you get the surgery.
Ronnie said it was Blitt who started all of that. Mike said he thinks he could bench press him. Ronnie said he said he could oil him up and lift him. He said Blitt is a psycho. Blitt said he asked Mike if he could do that and then he asked if they were both naked and flaccid and pressed their penises together who would get hard first. He said he thinks it's Mike.
Howard asked why Ronnie was upset. Ronnie said he wasn't upset. They were talking about how Mike was complimenting Ronnie for seeming younger than he is. Howard said all they have to do is test their microphones by saying ''testing, one, two...'' Ronnie said it's a show before the show. He said they do more than just test the microphones. He said that this is like a show before the show. He said they do all kinds of stuff.
Howard said he's not sure why they're spending 45 minutes on a microphone check. Mike said that he hasn't seen Ronnie's glasses before. Howard said he looks like Swifty Lazar. Ronnie didn't know who that was. He said he just got new glasses. Mike said he needs help with his clothes and stuff. Ronnie said look at Mike's hair. He said he's losing it. Mike pointed out that Ronnie is losing his too. He said he could fix his look up a bit with a little work. He said he saw something he was doing where he was shaved down. He said he doesn't need that bit thing on his face. He said he'd look so much better if he shaved down. Howard said he agrees with him there. He said he should shave down. Ronnie said he's not shaving. Mike said he looks good when he's shaved.
Howard said Ronnie looks very Vegas with those glasses. He said he looks like he's waiting for a nuclear bomb test in those things. Mike asked what made him attracted to those. Ronnie said he liked them. Mike said there had to be more that would have looked better on him. He said he's a cool guy but this doesn't match. He said he has to match his personality. Howard asked Mike what he would suggest. Mike said he and King of All Blacks talk about Ronnie's outfits and what he could do to improve it. He said maybe a nice pair of Ray Bans. Ronnie said he had them for 10 years. Mike said maybe a pair of aviators. He said maybe some bifocals. He said Ronnie should shave down and start over. Ronnie said no way. They were going back and forth arguing about that and other things.
Howard said he likes Ronnie's glasses. He said he thinks they look good. Howard said Ronnie was all over Mike when he was hypnotized. Mike said he really misses him. He said it's such a disconnect. He said he needs to come back there. He said he was up there yesterday at Sirius and he misses seeing him walking around with his Walkie Talkie. Howard said he did love that thing. He said he must have felt like he fit in with the cops.
Howard said Jason said he felt like Ronnie aged since he was in Vegas. Jason got on and said it was more about the way he moved. Ronnie said he was stoned out of his brain. Blitt said he was pretty out of it. Jason said he moved in that old man shuffle thing. Ronnie said he's not shuffling. He said he was high as a kite when they were out there. He said that they were there for like 10 hours. Howard said Jason said he was upset about it. Ronnie said he's still out there doing it. He said he's fine. Robin said she has to go out there and see this. Ronnie said any time. Robin said she may have to get out of the cold.
Mike said you have to let him know months in advance if you want to visit him. He said he always has something going on. Ronnie said he is very busy. He said he went to New York for 2 weeks and everyone visited but not Mike.
Howard said Ronnie has become more sensitive since he went to Vegas. He said he put Thong Thursday on hold on Thanksgiving. He said he's all grown up now.
Mike said he has some clothing suggestions for Ronnie. He said he would like to take him out and get some work done. He said he and King of All Blacks have some ideas for him. Ronnie said that he would have him dressing in mink coats. Howard said Ronnie has a look and he likes cut off t-shirts and stuff. Ronnie said he doesn't do that anymore. He said he got rid of them. Howard said he used to wear them all the time. Ronnie said he did but not anymore. Mike said he should be wearing a polo shirt with shorts. Ronnie said he doesn't wear shorts. Ronnie told him to worry about himself.
Howard said Ronnie can do his thing and not worry about this. Ronnie said that's what he's doing.
Howard said Bobo is still on the phone. He wished him luck with his PSA levels. He said don't over play it. Ronnie said he has a second set of eyes looking at it. Bobo said the HBO special was great. He said it was a whole other level there. Howard thanked him for that.
Robin said she had another experience with the thumbnail thing. She said she opened up Apple TV and it showed the interview link right here. Howard said he never sees any of that stuff on his. Ronnie took off after saying goodbye. Howard said he thinks the guys shook him up. Ronnie was back and said they can rile him up all they want. Howard said he hasn't done a sex tip lately. Ronnie said they have them coming for Christmas. Howard said he hasn't heard one in a while. Blitt said they're fantastic. He said they're going to be great for the holidays. Howard asked if he could put them on HBO. Blitt said absolutely.
Howard did a live commercial read and then took a call from King of All Blacks who missed his window to talk about Ronnie. King said he was in the shower. He said he wanted to make sure that Ronnie understands he doesn't hate him. He said he just thinks he's in a rut. He said he needs to change with the times. He said he just wants to wake it up a bit.
King said this guy Joe Madison was trying to make Howard look like some kind of racist. Howard said he heard about that. He said this guy is confused. He said he was trying to make a point about Oprah and this guy got upset about him talking about her and not other rich people showing off their wealth. Howard said this guy doesn't listen to the show so he didn't hear the whole thing. Howard said he's not just talking about Oprah. He said it's a bad look to show off all of the things you have and eat for Thanksgiving. He said he's trying to give her life advice.
Howard finished the live commercial read and spent a little time talking about Metallica and Alice Cooper. Robin brought Alice up and said he looks good for his age. Howard said he once introduced Journey and Alice Cooper at a concert when he worked in Detroit. He said that he was back stage and met Alice. He said it was the first time he had ever seen stardom like that. He said he saw Steve Perry back there with a hot chick. He said the guy blew him off because he was a big star. He said he was back stage and he thinks it was at that show that he met Alice. He said he wasn't in his full outfit there. He said he came in wrapped in a blanket. He said his face was even covered up. He said his girlfriend was even wrapped up like a mummy. He said it was crazy. He said he's a big Alice Cooper fan. He said he thinks his songs are great. He said he did look great at the Hall of Fame show. He said he's not going to get surgery even though he may need it to start looking good. He said he'd have to ask the doctors to spruce him up but not make him good looking. He said he may not be good looking but he did get laid in his life. He said that's what it's all about. He said that's what the song ''Nothing Else Matters'' is about. He said it's all about sex because nothing else matters.
Howard said after the break they're going to have to talk about this article he saw about all of the embarrassing moments in Rock and Roll. He said he may comment on some of them. He did a live commercial read and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he likes this song. He said that guy Lemmy was quite a character. He said he doesn't think they ever ran into him. Robin said she doesn't think so.
Howard said Lemmy wasn't a big Stones fan. He said he picked the Beatles over the Stones for his favorite and he also said that the Stones weren't good live. Howard said that's not true though. He said this song brings a smile to his face.
Howard said he thought that prostate cancer discussion brought him down. He said it scared him. He said he doesn't have it but he knows dudes who have had it and it's party over after. He said he doesn't want that. He said he'd have it removed it he got cancer. He said he'd lose his bone. Robin said maybe he could try something to keep it. Howard said he felt for Bobo. He said he gets it. Robin said it is scary getting those screenings. She said she's been doing that for almost 11 years now. She said she was diagnosed in May of 2012.
Howard said Robin did the math really quick there. He said she came right up with the number. He said he'd have to do the math. He said he wishes he had that gift for math like she does.
Howard was going to take a call but he ended up talking about this Rolling Stone article about embarrassing moments in rock & roll. He said the one story was about Billy Squire who put out a video that basically ended his career. He said that there have been other videos that weren't that good but didn't end careers. He said Rolling Stone said that's in the top 10 most embarrassing moments in rock & roll history.
Howard said he ran into Billy a few years ago when he was still going out. He said he lives out near him. He said he got to know him in Detroit. He said Billy used to sleep on the floor of his studio. He said that he wasn't famous yet but he'd come in and sleep in there and say a few words and then go back to sleep. He said his band was called The Romantics or something. He said one morning the whole band was in the studio sleeping.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if his father gave him any career advice when he was coming up in the business. Howard said his father gave him advice. He said he has a guy on the phone who says he can still get a hard on even after prostate cancer. He said he has to get to him too.
Howard said his father wrote him a letter about how bad he was on radio. He said he gave him advice in that letter. He said he wishes he had saved that letter. He said he had this show called the King Schmaltz Bagel Hour and his dad critiqued it. Howard said he took some of that advice and stopped doing his show and stopped saying ''Uh'' a lot. He said that he went off and did some other things and then realized his show was revolutionary and realized he had to be funny on the air.
Howard said he got a job making $96 a week and his dad said that's okay. He said he was working his way through it like graduate school. He said his dad told him he was learning a lot doing that job. He said his dad helped him with gas money when he had that job too. He said as the years went on he would call him about finances. He said his dad had a lot of opinions about that. Howard said his dad would advise him at times. He said he would get financial advice. He said it was very encouraging in that way.
The caller said he knows he likes to goof on his dad a lot but it's nice to hear that. Robin said that would mean that he loved him. Howard said absolutely. He said his dad was also very good when he'd call into the show. He said that even going back to college radio he was helpful. He said he got fired on the air in 1974 or so. He had an audio clip from that show. It was their program director who called in and fired them on air.
Howard said they realized it was Hank and they ran into another room. He said they had just been fired on air. He said that guy was for real. He said he wasn't doing a routine.
Howard said he's not sure why the tape sounded so bad but back then they had bad equipment. He said his dad was right and he sucked.
Howard said they did get fired but they begged for their job back and they did get back on the air. He said his dad was paying $5,000 a year so he could use that station so they let him back on. He said he needed that at least. Robin asked where that guy Hank is now. Howard said he was actually a nice guy. He said he devoted his time to the station there. He said he may have been freaked out by the show. He said he believes that Hank went on to be a local politician. He said he had some success at that. He said he's not sure if he's still alive. He said a lot of people are gone now.
Howard said he thought his dad was right about him when he got fired. Robin asked if they continued that show when they got back on air. Howard said he thinks they did. He said it fell apart pretty soon after that. He said it shook his confidence for a while.
Howard said when he got his first real radio job he stopped trying to be funny. He said he had his dad's voice in his head saying he didn't sound like an announcer.
Howard said he has this guy on the phone who had his prostate removed. He took his call and the guy, Stu, said that he had part of his prostate removed. He said he can't cum but he can get hard. He said the duct that creates the cum is gone. He said that he can still get hard and it's enough to get the job done. He said the recovery was like peeing razor blades for six weeks.
Howard asked if you still have the sensation of cumming. Stu said he does but it's not as big as it used to be. Howard said that's kind of upsetting. He said that he figured you'd stop concentrating on pussy every minute and go on to be really successful in business. Robin asked if you care about being successful if you can't have sex. Howard said he'd probably quit radio. Stu said the doctor lied to him about the recovery. He said that he wouldn't have had it done if he knew. He said he's 61 now and he had it one a year and a half ago. He said his PSA was 18 so it was off the charts.
Howard asked if he has a wife. Stu said that he does. He said he still has a mouth that works so he goes down on her. He said she plays with him and he gets hard and does his thing with her. He said he can last a minute or so. Howard said that's about all he needs.
Howard said his wife must love the clean up. Stu said that it is quick. He said she rubs his crotch and that's about all. He said it feels good. He said if he had known before the operation he would have jerked off 24/7 for months before. Howard thanked the guy for the call and kept calling him Steve. He said he prefers that name. He said just change it legally if he calls you by something else.
Howard said that another embarrassing moment in rock & roll history was when Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet Jackson's top during the Super Bowl half time show. Howard said that wasn't really embarrassing. He said he remembers it and he didn't see the titty that much. He said he doesn't think it did anything bad for Janet. He said it was a man and woman thing. He said that he's not sure who got in trouble over that. Robin said they got in trouble. Howard said the FCC did come after them after that. He said it was embarrassing for him. He said he got in more trouble than they did. He said they started screaming for more censorship and they came after him.
Gary said that they came in on the Monday following that show and they got tossed off a bunch of stations that following week. Howard said he's glad he doesn't have a memory of all of this.
JD said he thinks that the connection was that the Super Bowl was on CBS and they were connected to CBS with Infinity so that's why they came after them. He said Les Moonves (Mel Karmazin) got yelled at by that ''You knew!'' woman. He said she was upset with them about that whole thing. They played some of that nutty ''You knew!'' woman going off on Mel about that. JD said her name was Heather Wilson. He read about what she's been up to since then.
Howard said he doesn't mind that she was worked up over the Janet Jackson thing but they got the brunt of that. Gary said they even started pulling songs off the radio that Monday. He said everyone was freaked out. Robin said that's when Tom became the permanent monitor for the show.
Howard said Richard was telling him about what happened with the Super Bowl they pulled them off down in Florida where Richard was living. Richard said it was such a shock and he balled his eyes out. He said he had been on in Orlando since the 90s and he freaked out when they pulled him off. He said Wendy the Slow Adult also freaked out and called into the show at the time. He said he had to go figure out how to find his show. He said he had to find ways to still listen to him. He said it was brutal. Howard said that woman did freak out. He said that she was in congress for six terms until 2009. He said she was very successful. Fred played some of the things she was saying to Mel. Richard said they got a lot of drops out of her. Howard said she was nominated for something by Donald Trump in 2017. Howard said way to go. He said she was the one complaining about Janet's tittie and Trump nominates her to be the secretary of the Air Force. Howard said no one is more pro-titty than Donald Trump. Robin said it doesn't make any sense.
Howard said this is the full speech that Wilson made about the Janet Jackson Super Bowl thing. He played the clip and she was going on and on about the ''nasty'' stuff that was going on during that game. Howard said that must have been a fun household to grow up in. Howard was doing his impression of Wilson talking about the nasty stuff her 4th grader saw during that Super Bowl.
Howard said titties are not nasty. He said they are beautiful. He said show those things on television. He said that this woman thinks that it was disgusting. Howard said she had her point of view on that.
Howard said that whole thing was devastating to them. He said they went from 60 stations to like 20.
Howard said number 42 is about the Monkees putting out the movie ''Head.'' He said they had a good thing going and then they put out that movie and album. He said that was the end of The Monkees. Robin said she doesn't remember that. She said they were just there and then they weren't.
Howard said then they have Prince on the list when he changed his name to a glyph. He said that he went to see him do a show and he had them turn the lights off in the place. He said he got pissed about that. Howard said people didn't fall for the name change. He said no one knew what to call him. He said the referred to him as the artist formerly known as Prince. He said that he changed his name back in 1996.
Howard said they have at number 38 when Roger Waters dared Pink Floyd to do it without him. He said they did.
Howard said that David Geffen sued Neil Young for not sounding like Neil Young. He said then Robin Thicke tried to win his wife back with an album. He said that's when they saw Emily Ratajkowski for the first time naked. He said he never beat off to a music video before.
Howard said in 1981 KISS tried to make a concept album. He said that was another embarrassing thing. He said that wearing that makeup seems like it was more embarrassing. Howard said KISS were tired of being seen as a band for children or stunted adults so they made this album. Howard said they had some movies they made that flopped as well. Howard said he'd like to see some of those movies. Howard said they made this album and years later Gene said they wanted critical success and they lost their minds.
Howard said he likes this list. Robin said it's interesting. Howard said they say that number 28 is when Van Halen hired a guy to replace Sammy Hagar in 1996. He said that he never understood what happened with Eddie and Sammy.
Howard said Elvis turned down a role in A Star is Born. He said then there's a story about Mountain not being put in the Woodstock movie. He said they were there. He said their manager turned it down and everyone who was in the movie became a huge star. He said Leslie West said he wanted to be in it but their manager said no. Howard read some details about that deal. Howard said they were a kick ass band and they could have been even bigger if they had been in that movie.
Howard said they have a story about Dee Dee Ramone making a rap album. He said there are a million of those kind of stories in this article. Howard said he follows them on Twitter and that's how he found out about the article.
Howard ran down a few more quick stories. He said they say that it was embarrassing when the Beatles said they were bigger than Jesus. He said that wasn't embarrassing. He said that was the truth at the time.
Howard said that the other big thing was when Credence Clearwater Revival wanted to write their own songs instead of having John Fogarty write them. Howard said they got John to quit the band. He said they got him back and then the band got back together and they were able to write their own stuff and it was a disaster.
Howard read a couple of other quick ones that they mention in the article. He said there were some bad things like that Billy Squire thing. Robin said today he'd be applauded for it. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard said he was telling Gary about how he has such morbid thoughts. He said he was thinking about Ivan Reitman dying and he was a good friend of his. He said he was thinking about the movie Twins and what a perfect movie it was. He said it was such a great story and it was romantic and all of that. He said it was great with Arnold and Danny DeVito playing brothers. He said that Ivan thought to put Arnold in a comedy.
Howard said he was sitting there thinking about how Ivan never got an Oscar. He said he wanted one. He said he would talk to him about that. He said he never got it. He said he never got an award for Twins. He said he's not sure what won that year but he should have gotten something. He said all of that talent is just gone now. He said that if he had just made Twins it would have shown what a great film maker he was. He said now he's dead and gone and that's it. He said that's what he was thinking about all yesterday. He said his psychiatrist had to hear about that and he locked him up.
Robin asked if his psychiatrist has helped figure out how to get out of the house. Howard said he has to figure it out by the time his daughter gets married. He said he may just have to go and get COVID. Robin asked if anyone got COVID over Thanksgiving. Howard said everyone he knows has it. Robin said she has a friend who had COVID and he's praying he didn't spread it to everyone else.
Howard said Rain Man won the year of Twins. He said he can't complain about that. Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Arnold who was depressed and crying over Ivan being gone. He said death is coming for us all. He asked why do anything at all. He said he was a perfect specimen and now he's old and shriveling. Howard said he was watching a video of him lifting weights at the gym and he's still in good shape. Arnold said he can't beat up the grim reaper. Howard said he thinks if anyone can do it he can.
Howard had Arnold talk about his time making Twins. Fake Arnold told some stories about making the movie and how that all worked. There were a lot of cum jokes in there.
Howard let Arnold go and said that movie earned $216 million and it was made for just $18 million.
Howard said there were a lot of people testing positive for COVID over the Thanksgiving holiday. He said 300 people edited from it yesterday.
Howard said it's very odd to take potatoes out of the clam chowder and offer them up to someone. He said that app is very unusual. Gary said that people will post about seeing suspicious people in the neighborhood too. He said there are a lot of old people who see suspicious shit all day long.
Howard asked if Gary if he has ever been reported as suspicious. Gary said he doesn't know but it could be. Robin asked if Gary is white if he doesn't look white. Howard said he has never gone to the airport without being frisked. Gary said he said the other day that he has not been mistaken for any ethnicity. He said he's been mistaken for everything but Swedish as his son pointed out.
Howard said Gary was mistaken for a Chilean miner on the Today Show. Gary said he was promoting his book and the woman who was going to interview this miner thought he was the miner. Howard said he'd love to send him to Chile and have him start digging.
Gary said he tells a story about getting into a fender bender and this guy started yelling at him and said you greasy mother fuckers are all the same. He said he left and he wondered what greasy mother fucker he was referring to.
Howard said Gary found this clam chowder post and sent it to the guys. He said they were all talking about it and Richard and Sal got curious and called Swap Shop to ask if they can sell food or leftover items from the home on the show. Howard said this is the guys putting up weird shit to sell on Swap Shop.
Howard played the call and Sal called in saying they don't like the pepperoni on their pizza so they're offering it up for sale in sandwich bags. They were asking $2 for each bag. Richard called in and offered to pay for his pepperoni by swapping some beans. The guy had to hang up when he started counting one by one. Sal and Richard were calling in and arguing about the sale and swap thing. The host of the show got all worked up and said he has to deal with some really ignorant people there. He said they should come up there and talk to him in person.
Howard said he doesn't have to resort to violence. He said they do allow things like pepperoni off a pizza to be sold. He said they can sell that and more. Robin asked if the woman was able to give away her potatoes. Howard said he's sure she did.
Howard said he has to shout out to Wolfie about the fan mail he got about the Buffet coverage they had yesterday. Howard read some of the feedback they got about that report. Howard said someone said he deserves an award for going into that bathroom. Howard said someone said they had to turn down their volume hearing the shitting sounds from that bathroom.
Howard said Benjy is gross. He said he went on Facebook the other night. He said he does love Benjy but he's been there for 20 plus years. He said he read his Facebook post and he didn't know if it was real or not. He said he wrote something about trying to get into someone's dinner party. Howard read the post and it was about getting invited to a stranger's house for dinner. He even said that he'd like to bring his dog over.
Robin said that's ridiculous. Howard said he did get invited to a party and he had a ton of pictures from the party.
Howard asked Benjy what's going on with him. He said he's going to strangers houses. He said that he's not doing it for the radio show. He said it's his private Facebook. He said he may have to unfollow him. He said it's disturbing. He said he really doesn't get him.
Benjy said he was dating someone and he broke up with her recently. He said he felt bad about not putting her picture up and things like that. He said it just didn't work out. Howard asked what was wrong. Benjy said he doesn't know. He said it just didn't work. Howard said he must be backing out because he's nervous. Benjy said she's an actress and she's doing that and he'd like to have kids. Howard said time's up. He said he's done. He said he does care about him but the conversation gets tedious. Robin said it sounds like he wants her to quit her career so he can have kids. Benjy said it's not that. Howard said he just wants a quick answer. Benjy said he's not sure he could help her and support her in her career. Howard said he gets that. He said Benjy can't support anyone.
JD said Benjy does seem very lonely. He said you can pop up and talk to people on Twitter and he'll see Benjy on there and he'll try to help him. He said he'll post something and he'll ask for help on things and then someone will start talking to him and Benjy gets into random conversations. He said he must be really lonely. He said he does like talking to people. He said he thinks there's a lot of that going on.
Howard asked JD what he thinks is going on there. JD said he always has something going on in his head. Robin said it's weird that he wants to go hang out with people he doesn't know. She said that's dangerous. She said this Twitter thing is just stupid. She said it's a waste of time.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the whole thing with Benjy is weird. He said he doesn't get it either.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she sold Benjy his dog years ago. She said he never fully paid her for the dog either. Benjy said he didn't buy Chicken. Howard asked the caller, Debbie, what happened there. Debbie said the dog was about $2,000 at the time. She said she knew Benjy's voice when she heard his voice. Benjy said she's lying about this. Howard asked how much he gave her. Debbie said that he gave her a little bit up front. He said that it was Benjy and Elisa Jordana who were together at the time. She said he never fully paid her for the dog.
Benjy said he did not buy the dog. He said that he and Elisa were walking down the street and saw this business. He said they went in to see the dog. He said that they weren't going to buy a dog. He said he never talked to Debbie. He said Elisa made arrangements with Debbie. Debbie said she has voicemails from Benjy. Howard cut them off and said he really doesn't care. Benjy said this is fucking fraud and he went to her store like 18 times and asked how much he owed her. He asked if that's true or not. Howard played Benjy off with a song parody.
Howard told Benjy not to yell with the dog in his arms. He said he's scaring the shit out of Chicken. Benjy said that it wasn't him that made the deal. He said that it was Elisa. He said that he went to the store to find out how much he owed. Howard said it's fine and he's going to end it. Benjy said that he'll pay for the dog. He said he just needs to know what he owes. Howard said he's freaking the dog out. He said call her up off the air. Benjy said that he has done that and she has voicemails she's saved. Howard cut them off and let Debbie go.
Howard had the dog Chicken on the phone so he had the dog barking yes and no answers for him. He asked the dog if he wants out of that place. The dog barked yes. Howard asked how annoying Benjy is on a scale of 5 barks. The dog barked 4 times. Howard said he's up to 9 now. Howard let Chicken go.
Benjy said that he's accusing him of something and he won't let him respond. Howard said it sounds to him that he could have solved this already. Benjy said he has been going there for the past 5 years and he can't get it figured out. He said he has left messages for her and he can't get an answer.
Howard said he has to let this go. He took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn and said that Benjy is always doing shtick. She said that this has to be a whole thing. Howard said that would be impossible. He said he has seen him walking around and this isn't shtick. He said if it is then it's the most elaborate thing in the world. Mariann said he has done so many things. She said that this woman doesn't want the payment so that's cleared up. Mariann said that she knows a young girl who had cancer and she's been on a four year battle. She said that's a real cancer battle.
Howard thanked Benjy for the fascinating conversation. He played him off with another song parody or two.
Howard said good luck with the weight loss. He said that he has to get back on track. Howard said he has been with him for 20 plus years and we'll toast to another 20.
Howard said Jon Leiberman will be doing a full investigation into that dog thing on Thursday's ''A Hard Look.'' Howard said Jon used to cover real news stories and now he's doing that.
Howard wrapped up and ended it around 10:30am.