Howard said he wants to go back to bed. He said it's so annoying that he gets up so early. He said he's been up since 3. He said he could do the show then and go back to bed. Robin said just call them and they can do a show. Howard said they have to turn on equipment so it turns into a whole hassle. He said he'd like to be able to play music on a Sunday but it's not that easy.
Howard took a call from a woman who said he's an unemployed teacher right now. She said she has to be in a space with people and they've been out of school since March 15th or 16th. She said she isn't being paid because she works for grants. Howard asked what she's going to do. He asked if she has savings. She said no. She said she worked at a private school for 11 years and had her own curriculum. She said she took a risk in leaving and she was about to get to a point where she was able to stand on her own two feet and that was ripped out from under her. Howard asked what she's going to do for money. She said teaching online has been so up and down so she doesn't know if she's going to look for other types of employment. She said that kids are watching themselves and she's not sure how to get into it.
Howard asked how she's going to survive. The caller, Monica, said she's trying to figure it out. She said she has ideas some days and others she's not sure how to be human. Howard said he was reading that the porn industry isn't making porn so they're not making money. He said they're doing the cam girl thing now. He said everyone has had to shift their focus. Howard said they're going to be up to 20 percent unemployment in this country and it's just awful. He said he didn't watch the news so he won't get political this morning. He said as former President Obama said that the response to this virus has been a disaster. He said he's right. He said they don't have the best people around the President and they're all sucking his balls all day. He said it's been one of the worst around the world. He said the President is saying that this virus is just going to be gone by the fall. He said it's not just going to go away. He said it's a remarkable thing that's going on in this country today.
Howard said there are people who can't even get tested right now. He said he worries about people like Monica who have no job and don't know what to do.
Howard had fake President Trump on the phone. Trump was asking if he can spread his droplets on her tits. Robin asked if that's a new word for him. Trump told her to be quiet because men are talking. Howard asked if they're getting the virus under control. Trump said he saw this horrible thing coming before anyone else. He said it's not that horrible too. He said they can both be true at the same time. Howard asked fake Trump about his sarcastic comments. Robin asked when he's serious. Trump asked if he can put his tongue up her wet market.
Howard asked Trump if he has any ideas on how to stop the virus. Trump said he's going to gargle battery acid. He did that and said it tastes horrible. Howard asked if he has any other ideas. Trump said they can try to cure it by letting a monkey fuck us. He had Pence strapped down to test it. Trump had him try that and said his mouth is very busy right now so he can't talk. Pence was moaning and gagging. Howard let Trump go a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's a cop and he sees the numbers of officers being affected by the Coronavirus and it's clear there's a large spike in it with officers in the inner city communities. He said there's a spike of 35 officers in one neighborhood. Howard said he was reading about a nurse who was working in a hospital and a guy ran in without her mask on because this guy was in distress. He said 14 days later she was dead. He said the cops are out there on the front line and they're in danger. He said he thinks a lot of this could have been avoided.
The caller, Brian, said that they were given one ounce bottles of hand sanitizer and they were told to wear masks on April 3rd and they didn't get that stuff for 3 weeks after. He said by then they're getting 3-6 people a day with Coronavirus.
Howard said they should have HazMat suits. He said South Korea and Wuhan are seeing resurgent clusters of Coronavirus. He said you can't just reopen the country. He said we're leaderless at this point and people had better wake the fuck up.
Robin said there are people who have been around the President and Vice President and they're testing positive for Coronavirus. Howard said someone in Pence's office got it and then Trump comes out and said she had a very good test and a very strong and best test. He said it was very negative and then she got a positive test. He said you wonder what he's talking about. He asked how she can have a good test. He said it's maddening. He said he was glad to see that Obama came out and said this is a chaotic thing going on here. He said we're in big fucking trouble. Howard thanked the caller for his service out on the front line.
Howard said he was bummed out. He said he called his mother on Mother's day. He said she's down. He said it wasn't like she was going out that much to begin with. He did his impression of her talking to him about how upset she is about the way things are. He said she can't go out so he had her talking about wanting to go out and hike Mt. Kilimanjaro.
Howard said he saw a guy who created a book cover called ''You're Doing Too Much'' and he saw that and thought that was really funny. He said he's not sure who this guy is but it was very funny. He said he could write that book. He said the guy's name is David Glantz. He said he thinks his wife showed him the picture.
Howard said most people know Jerry from playing George Costanza's dad on Seinfeld. He said he was on King of Queens too. He said he never watched that show but he was a tremendous talent. He said he was very underrated.
Howard said Ben Stiller said his dad died of natural causes at the age of 92. He said the other thing he read was that Stiller and Mira worked in the improv group that became Second City. He said he wanted to mention that Jerry is gone.
Howard said there are some others who passed away that he wants to mention. He said Kenny Rogers died on March 20th. He said that he died from natural causes as well. He said he sold over 120 million albums worldwide. He said this guy had a huge hit with a psychedelic rock song. He said he was a rock and roll guy early on. He said he was shocked when he went country. Howard had the guys play that rock song. He said you'd think he was on drugs or something hearing that song. He said he loved the song. He said it was from 1967. He said he didn't write it but he performed it. He said he went on to perform country music. Howard said his big song was The Gambler. He had the guys play some of that.
Howard said in 1980 Kenny had a cross over hit. He said Lionel Richie had a song called Baby that he had written and gave that to Kenny. He said it became the song ''Lady'' and he had a big hit with that. He had the guys play some of that. He said he went on to perform a song with Dolly Parton and that was a big hit.
Howard said Islands in the Stream became another crossover hit for Kenny. He said he was also part of We Are the World. He said he retired in 2015. He said he appeared to have a lot of face lifts. He said he was married 5 times. He said guys who get face lifts never really work out. He said they always end up looking like women. He said they look like women with a short hair cut. He said Kenny was a good looking older guy and then it was like ''Whoa!''
Howard said you read horror stories about face lifts. He said Joan Rivers wasn't able to close her eyes. She had to put drops in her eyes.
Howard said they lost Bill Withers too. He said 10 days after Kenny died they lost Bill. He said he was a song writer. Howard said he read that someone from The Roots said that Bill was the closest thing they had to Bruce Springsteen in the black community. He said he didn't know he was that big of a deal.
Howard said Bill didn't start playing guitar until he got out of the service. He said he had some big songs like Ain't No Sunshine. He had the guys play some of that song.
Howard said Bill stuttered and he would imagine people naked as he was talking to them to get past that. Howard said he came up with a simple piano riff that became the song ''Lean on Me.'' He played some of that song.
Howard said he had a great song called Use Me. He said you know this one. He had the guys play some of that. Howard said now that guy is dead.
Howard said the third musician that died was Little Richard. He said he didn't know his music that well when he was growing up. He said he got into him when he watched the Mike Douglas show. He said he'd be his co-host for the week and he would watch him on that. Howard said he was a gay man but he didn't even know what that meant back then. He said he did have a son. Robin said he tried not to be gay. She said his father beat him and told him he was half a son. She said that he struggled with that religious background. He read that his son was adopted. Robin said he did get married at one time.
Howard said Richard died of bone cancer at the age of 87. He said he was called the architect of rock and roll. He said so many people talk about what a big deal he was to people who became rock stars.
Howard said Richard's full name was Richard Penniman. He said he had one leg that was shorter than the other. He said that he'd wear his mother's clothes when he was growing up. He said his dad threw him out of the house because of that.
Howard read about some of the things Richard did growing up and how he created some very memorable songs. He said he loved him on the Mike Douglas show. He said he was such a personality. He said he thought he was the greatest and a great talk show guest.
Howard said when he was on Mike Douglas he was so flamboyant. He said he was such a great promoter too. He said he would talk about how great he is. He said he was right. He said the song Tutti Frutti was about anal sex. He said they suggested cleaning the song up so that's how it became the song it is. Howard said then he came out with Lucille and Good Golly Miss Molly.
Howard said people would perform covers of his songs and they were horrible but they were bigger than Richard's versions. He had one by Pat Boone. He said imagine the frustration this guy must have had. He said a white guy would get more air play with a watered down version of the song just because he was whit. Howard had the guys play the two songs to compare Pat Boone's and Richard's version.
Howard said he had Richard on the show a couple of times and he asked him about Pat Boone. Howard played a clip where Richard talked about how he didn't hate Pat. He said Pat just took his song and recorded. He said he was a little frustrated by it but he got over it. Howard said he knows the frustration in his own career and he knew he was better than some people. He said he sat there seething inside. He said maybe Richard was fully evolved. He said there was a white guy and a black guy and the white guy got more air play. He said he saw Ray Charles talking about Elvis one time and he was saying that they were out there doing this and then Elvis comes along and does it and does the songs soulless and he's got hits.
Howard said he doesn't think Pat Boone is evil at all. Robin said yes he is. Howard said he's not sure he was a bad guy. Robin said she thinks it was someone else saying that they could make a lot of money doing it.
Howard said Richard was a big influence on The Beatles. He said they recorded a version of Long Tall Sally. He played some of that. He had some of Paul McCartney's song ''When I'm Down'' which was inspired by Richard. Howard had a Led Zeppelin song that was inspired by a Little Richard song.
Howard said Richard almost quit the business in 1958. He said he had actually quit and went to college but eventually came back to music. He said he may have exposed himself to another student at the college he was going to.
Howard said Little Richard was into some weird stuff in his life. He said he read that he made a doody in a jar and gave it to a neighbor. He said he asked him about that on the show and he said that was true. Howard had a clip of Richard talking about how he did that as a boy.
Howard said Richard was into voyeurism and he would spy on people doing things and he got into trouble for doing that.
Howard said he loved Little Richard. He said he had a great personality. He said he'll be remembered as one of the founding fathers of rock and roll. Robin said he was also one of the first people inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame.
Howard said those are some people who passed away. Robin asked why he's not talking about Roy from Siegfried & Roy. Howard said he's not a musician but he did die. Robin said he died from Coronavirus. Howard said they saw him at a show when he was still with his full powers. He said they did a really weird show. He said he and Robin and Artie went to see Siegfried and Roy. He said Siegfried was the one who did all of the talking. He said Roy just stood there.
Howard said it is horrible to survive a tiger attack only to be killed by a bat disease.
Howard said he got a note from Will saying that Siegfried and Roy canceled one of their shows when they heard they were going to show up. Howard said years later they went to see them and they must have settled down. Howard said they seemed excited to meet them that night.
Howard asked Will where he got that information. Will said their research team found that out. Gary said that Howard, Robin and Artie went to see them and nothing weird happened. Howard said maybe they were scheduled to go years earlier and they just assumed that one was canceled because of them. He said he can't imagine they would cancel it just because they were coming. Howard said he's going to take a break now. they went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked what he's listening to. He found out it was Rob Schneider's daughter. He said that she's doing a good job. He asked how people in the music business are making money. He said the whole world is a mess.
Howard said he has some positive thoughts on things. He said that there might not be any Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. He said that at New Years Eve may not happen. He said imagine how little traffic they'd have around Christmas. Robin said it would be good for them but now they're just thinking of themselves. Howard said no Broadway shows too. He said that's great because now his wife won't ask him to go.
Robin said she did something with her friends over the weekend. She said they all got together to have a theater club meeting on Zoom. Howard said he's so happy he's not her. He said that sounds like torture. He said he likes sitting in his house. He said he gets upset and irritable going out now.
Robin said they didn't watch the show together. She said it's like a book club. She said they all saw the same play and got together to talk about it. Howard said he just wants to look at her. He said what a woman. He said he thinks he'd rather have Coronavirus than join a theater club.
Howard asked who is in the club with her. Robin said Simone and her dad and son who is an acting student. Robin said there were some others too. Howard said what a wonderful thing that is. Robin said it was her invention. She said they loved the idea. She said they are all wondering what to do next.
Howard asked if Robin is drinking chocolate milk. Robin said it's coffee. Howard said she doesn't like coffee if she has that much milk in it. Robin said Howard doesn't like coffee. Howard said he does. He said he wants real coffee if he's drinking it. Howard asked to see her glass. Robin showed it and it wasn't very dark. Howard said wait until you see this. He said it's like chocolate milk. He told her to drink it black if you like coffee. Robin said do what you want to do. Howard said he's glad to see she's putting it in the right end this time. He said she's drinking milk with a spritz of coffee.
Howard said he heard there are huge lines of people at Starbucks out there. He said people are willing to risk their lives to get Starbucks. He said it must be addictive. Robin said Coca Cola used to have real cocaine in it so maybe there's something in Starbucks. Howard said he's sure that people are social distancing at those places. He said in New York people are freaked out by Coronavirus.
Howard said he's been following the murder hornets. He said they're killing our bees. He said their sting can kill people too. He said it's hard to think about that when Coronavirus is around. He said these Japanese bees figured out how to kill the hornets. He said the hornets chop the heads off of bees. He said that the hornets send out one hornet to find a hive to attack. He said the Japanese bees figured out the hornet scent and when the hornet comes in the bees gyrate their bodies rapidly and they get up to 117 degrees and swarm the hornet. He said they melt him with their heat. Robin said they cook it. Howard said that's right. He said they get the spy hornet and the rest of the hornets don't know where to go.
Howard said our American bees aren't learning from the Japanese bees so they're getting killed. He said we need our bees. Robin said people are worried about these hornets but they don't look for people to bite.
Howard asked if Robin's coffee is even hot. Robin said it is. She said it's in a thermal cup.
The caller said he'd like to play a game. Howard said he might have something but he doesn't have a prize. He said he may have a roll of toilet paper or something. He said what he does have is Clorox wipes or Lysol spray. He said he only has like 2 wipes left.
Gary said they can give him a Flat Ronnie but they can't send it out until they get back to work. Howard said that might be months. The caller said he'd be up for that.
Howard said he's going to play for a prize he may or may never get. Howard asked if Benjy would send a dick pic. The caller said no thanks to that. Howard said he has his choice. Gary said he was just authorized to give $500. He said he won't get that until they get back to work. Gary said they have to
Howard said they will get him the money somehow. He said this is the Sick or Dick game. He said they have Joe playing the game. He said in honor of the Coronavirus they will play this game.
Howard said they're playing this for $500 and they don't know when he might get the money. He said that they might have to wait until they get back to work. Howard said this is someone vomiting and you have to guess if they're sick or choking on a dick. Howard said Robin can help. He said she might know sick or dick.
Howard played the first clip which was a woman throwing up. Howard asked what Joe thinks. Joe said he thinks that's dick. Howard said that he has to get 3 out of 5. He said this one counts. He said Joe was right. He played the full clip of the woman gagging on a dick.
Howard played the next clip which was a woman throwing up. Joe asked to hear that one more time. He guessed that it was a woman throwing up from dick. Howard locked him on that and said he is wrong. He said she's actually sick. Howard said she's having morning sickness. He played the clip again.
Howard played another clip of a woman throwing up. Joe asked Robin for what she thinks. Howard played the clip again and Robin said she thinks that's someone who is sick. Joe said he's going with Robin on this one. Howard said Robin was never very good at sucking dick but she took lessons. He said Joe is locked in on sick. He said Joe is wrong. He said this woman was sucking a dick. He played the full clip.
Howard said they have asked him 3 so far and he got one right. He said he has to get both right. Joe said he'd like to do double or nothing. Howard said they can't do that. Robin said the rules are the rules. Howard said she's right about that.
Howard played the next clip where a woman was throwing up and gagging. Joe laughed and said he thinks that's going to be sick. Howard said he's right. He said he got that one right. He played the full clip of the woman throwing up.
Howard played the final clip where a woman was gagging. Joe asked to hear that again because it was short. Joe asked if he can get Fred's input. Howard said Fred has sucked his dick so he might know. Fred didn't answer right away. He said he pulled down the wrong pot and didn't hear them. Fred said he'd say that's a sucking dick clip. Howard said there's your opinion. Joe said he will go with Fred on this one. Howard played it one more time. Howard said lock him in on that. He said that this is for $500. Joe said that he needs it. Howard said he could use the money for food. He said he might be able to buy one canister of Lysol wipes with that money. Howard said Joe is locked in on sucking a dick and the answer is... Joe said he thinks he's wrong. He said he can tell from the tone of his voice. Howard said he can change his answer if he wants to. Joe said he's going to change his answer to sick. Howard said he's going to lock him in on that but he'll offer him the chance to change back. Joe went back to dick. Howard made sure he was sticking to dick. Joe said he is. Howard locked him in again. Howard said game shows have a way of reducing tensions of being locked up during Coronavirus. He said that you should always go with your first answer. He said Joe went back to his first answer so they'll find out if that was the right thing to do. Howard said he's locked in again. He said Joe chose right and it was a woman sucking a dick. Joe sounded happy about the win. Howard played the full clip of the woman sucking on a dick.
Howard said Joe just won $500. He wrapped up the game and put Joe on hold so they can get his information.
Howard said that was a real cliff hanger. He said the whole audience was holding on to their hats during that. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he didn't know that people still did death pools. He said Jason was in one and had both Little Richard and Jerry Stiller. He said that he must have won some good money. Jason said they have a total number of deaths and they keep track of the age. He said no one had Roy in there.
Howard asked how many people play in the league. Jason said they have 10. Howard asked how much money you put up. Jason said it's 50 bucks each. He said it's really dark and bizarre. Robin said that really is dark. Jason said they redraft every year and he had drafted Little Richard for this year.
Howard asked how you research to figure this out. Jason said some people do that. He said you can find sites that rate people. Jason said he looks at people and thinks about how bad they look. He said he was Googling old celebrities and found him. He said he also has Sally Struthers and Dan Rather. Howard said that is a morbid way to make money. He said to make money off of that is weird.
Howard asked who else he has on that list. Jason said the youngest guy he has is Frankie Muniz. He said he has some brain condition. He said he also took Harvey Weinstein when he started with his legal troubles. Howard asked if anyone has him. Jason said no one does. Jason said no one has Robin either. Jason said one of his brothers has High Pitch Erik on his list but he's the only show person. Howard said Erik is out there doing so much and running around without a mask. He said so many people are running around without masks.
Ronnie said it was just his neighbor next door and they stayed apart. He said it was just the four of them. Howard said you don't know where they have been. Ronnie said he sees them all the time. Jason said Ronnie goes places too.
Howard asked how you know where people have been. Robin said you don't know who else has been there. Howard said you don't know who has been in the car.
Howard said Ronnie went to the bakery to pick up a cake. Ronnie said there was just one person there. He said it was just the owner. Jason asked why do quarantine at this point.
Howard said Ronnie had four guests over at his house last weekend. He said it lasted 4 hours. Ronnie said they were outside. He said they weren't locked in the house.
Ronnie said he has things going on there. He said his son was put in the hospital yesterday. He said he can't go visit him or anything. He said they can't even have staff there for him. He said it's really fucked up. Howard said that's why he's worried about Ronnie. He said he's treating this too cavalierly.
Ronnie Puppet said something about sharing chips and tuff. Howard asked if they were eating things like that. Ronnie said he barbecued some stuff. He said he had one plate filled with stuff and people took it themselves.
Ronnie said they went and got tested yesterday. Howard said you could get it on the way home from the test. He said it's fucked up. He said he worries about Ronnie getting it because he's in that age group that's at risk.
Howard said Ronnie has been going through mood swings lately and he won't answer the phone when Stephanie calls sometimes. Ronnie said he'd rather not get into a fight. He said when he's in that mood he's not loving so he won't talk to her.
Ronnie Puppet said the word ''cunt'' and Ronnie let them know that he's not allowed to say that in the house. He said Stephanie hates that word. He said that other words are fine but not that one. He said everything but cunt is allowed. Howard said he likes that he can't say that one word.
Howard said he heard that Ronnie takes over the Zoom happy hour the staff does. Ronnie said he'll stop doing them then. JD got on and said a word and Ronnie went off on him. JD said he wasn't the one who said anything. Ronnie said JD is acting like he's in the Hamptons when he's on that Zoom thing. He said he gets fancy drinks delivered during Happy Hour. JD said he doesn't know how to make them so he has them delivered.
Howard said Ronnie is one of 6 people who goes to this happy hour thing. He said someone else has to come on to talk about it. Chris Wilding got on and said he loves the happy hour. He said it's the Ronnie Hour though. He said if anyone tries to steal his thunder they get thrown under the Ronnie hurricane. Ronnie said when he doesn't show up everyone asks him where he was. Chris said he says he'll just stay home like they're being punished.
Howard said he heard that he was complaining that he can't use the N-word but black people can. Ronnie said no one should be able to say it. He said white people get in trouble if they use it. Robin said she didn't know that he wanted to say it so bad. Ronnie said that people get chastised when they use it. He said this NASCAR driver lost his whole career because he used it with a friend. He said he doesn't care who it is. He said someone brought it up and he just piled on it. He said he just said that no one should be able to use the word. Chris said he was also upset that King of All Blacks used it the last time he was on the show. Ronnie said that was part of what he was saying about no one being able to use the word.
Howard said Ronnie's statement was that he was referring to his friend the NASCAR driver. Ronnie said he's not his friend. He said he shouldn't have been fired. He said he should have been suspended maybe. He said this guy lost his career over that word. Robin said if he doesn't think the word is bad then say it. Ronnie said don't put words in his mouth. He said he never said that. Robin said she doesn't understand the issue.
Howard said the other thing he heard was that he was throwing the word ''kike'' around. Ronnie said he'd like to know where he gets his information. Howard said he heard he used it and he upset someone there in the group. Ronnie said that people never say shit about it when you use that word. Howard said you can lose your job over that too. Ronnie said sure. Howard said you do. Chris said he technically used it at work. Ronnie told him to shut the fuck up.
Howard asked what point he was trying to make. Chris said that he was saying you can't say that word but he said that word and this girl heard it. Ronnie said he was just talking and said the word. He said he wasn't yelling it.
Howard asked if Ronnie is saying he won't be at the Happy Hour anymore. Ronnie said he's done. He said he has his own happy hour. Howard said this happy hour is tearing his staff apart.
Chris asked if he yells out Kike at his barbecue. Ronnie said of course not. He said he was part of a conversation and he's sorry he brought that up.
Howard said he heard that Ronnie was also very taken with Steve Nowicki's girlfriend and it got weird. Steve got on and said that he was getting weird talking about her look. Ronnie said he's so sorry for giving her a compliment. Howard said usually in a social setting you just play it cool and not comment on her appearance. Steve said that it was flattering but they wondered how far he was going to go with it. Chris said Ronnie kept telling Steve to get off camera and let her stay. Ronnie said that's not true. Howard said it sounds like something he might do.
Steve said that Ronnie was on camera looking really close when his girlfriend had a low cut top on and said he just came all over his keyboard. Ronnie said he never said that. He said he did stick his face up close but he never said that. Howard asked if Steve is lying or did he actually say that. Steve said he did say it. He said they don't have an issue with him though. Ronnie said he put his face up to the camera but he never said that he came on the keyboard. Ronnie said Steve is full of shit.
Chris said that he also asked Memet's girlfriend Mary to take off her bathrobe. Ronnie said he just said that she was wearing a ''Kimona'' and that's all he said. Robin asked if he had any comments on what the men were wearing. Chris said he did not.
Robin asked if he has to comment on every woman's outfit. Ronnie said he got comments from some of the guys about how hot Stephanie looked. Chris said Ronnie told her to get off camera one night because she was in a sweatshirt and not a low cut top.
Howard said this reminds him of when he had his big barbecue and only invited the female interns and none of the male. Ronnie said it was all chicks.
Steve said his girlfriend was flattered by it but he thinks that Ronnie is missing the strip clubs. Ronnie said they have it all figured out. Ronnie said ask him when he was in a strip club last. Howard asked when it was. Ronnie said it was probably a year ago.
Howard said it sounds like he's the life of the party. He said he's the only one livening things up and he's upset that they don't like his contributions. Ronnie said they'll have a much better time without him there.
Howard asked if he they'll miss Ronnie there. Chris said of course they will. He asked who will yell out anti-Semitic words. Howard said he did hear that when Ronnie left that everyone else left. Ronnie said they all do that they stay on for an hour and leave. He said that one went long.
Steve said the Lump was there and said that it was going to be cold over the weekend and Ronnie asked him if he's a fucking meteorologist or something. Ronnie said that you can't just sit there and say nothing. He said his parties are much better.
Howard said maybe Ronnie should run the party and it's not the happy hour. Ronnie said that's alright. He said he doesn't need that. He said he has his own parties and doesn't need to compete.
Howard said how about they get together and talk about watching the same Broadway play. Ronnie said maybe they can watch the same porno movies and discuss them. Howard said maybe they can have a Klan meeting and discuss those words.
Howard said that Ronnie sounds like he's taking all of his toys and going home. Ronnie said that's right.
Ronnie said JD started all of this and disappeared. JD said he don't start this at all. Ronnie said that they have to get their special drinks delivered during the meeting. Howard asked if Ronnie thinks that he's gone over the edge with that stuff. Ronnie said he's happy for him and he tells him that all the time. Howard said here was a time when Ronnie was JD's only friend. He said now he's acting like he's turning on him. Ronnie said his wife is the best thing to ever happen to him. JD said he didn't start this whole thing. Ronnie said he's happy for JD and he needs someone to take over his life. Howard said JD used to eat chicken from gas stations. He said he has come a long way. Ronnie said he's happy for him. JD said Ronnie is almost a second father to him.
Ronnie apologized for having too much fun at these parties. He said they're so afraid of this stuff. He said he doesn't think he did anything wrong. He said if they think that then fine. He said he doesn't need this bullshit.
Howard said Ralph is on the phone and wants to defend him. Howard got him on and Ralph said Ronnie is right that these guys are turncoats. He said they put their sheep together and do this. He said that they parade their girlfriends around and he dares to comment and then it's a problem. He said if they're on a work call then keep them out of the room. He said this is Ronnie and he does this stuff at Howard's parties too.
Ralph also told JD to stop spending so much money during this economic meltdown. JD said he's supporting local businesses.
Howard talked to Ronnie puppet for a short time. Fred was on fire with his impression and going off on all of the guys for their complaining.
Howard said Ronnie seems really upset about the whole thing. Ronnie said now he knows how these assholes feel so it's fine.
Howard said he asked Ronnie Puppet to quiet down. He asked JD if he wants to apologize to Ronnie. JD said he didn't start it but he wants to apologize if he made him feel bad. He said he didn't do anything though.
Howard asked Steve if he wants to apologize. Steve said he hopes he has not driven him away. Howard asked if Chris wants to say anything to him. Chris said there is no one like Ronnie and no one brings to a party what he does. He said they need him at Zoom Happy Hour. Ronnie told him to stop it. Chris said they'd have no one to host and run this thing if he wasn't there. Ronnie said he knows he's full of shit. He said the audience knows too.
Howard asked if Ronnie will reconsider his decision to leave. Ronnie said no. He said it wouldn't have started if they weren't upset about it. He said let them enjoy their party. He said he's out. He said he's sorry if he offended any of the girls. Steve said there was no issue on their side. Ronnie said he did say that he said something he never said. Steve said that's the way he remembers it.
Howard said they seem to enjoy Ronnie at the happy hour but Ronnie isn't taking it that way.
Howard said King of All Blacks wants to give Ronnie the right to say the N-word. Howard got King on and his phone was cutting out. He said he's the worst caller ever. King said he's giving Ronnie permission to say the N-word. Ronnie said no one should be saying it. King said black people can use it and give permission to people to use it. He said that white people gave them that word. Ronnie said his people didn't do that. King said they did. Ronnie said King is right and he's wrong.
Howard asked if King thinks that NASCAR driver should have been fired for using that word. King said no he doesn't. He said if they have a repeated history of using language like that then maybe. Howard tried to ask him a question but he had lost the connection.
Howard had The Hulk on the phone to talk about how upset he is that Ronnie is leaving the group. Hulk asked him to please not use the word Cunt when they're on because his kid might be walking by the computer.
Robin asked if Ronnie uses the C-word at the happy hour. Ronnie said he's not allowed to use it. He said he said that earlier. Chris said that he may have confused that with the K-word.
Howard said he loves hearing the controversy around this party. He had Ronnie Puppet say a few more words.
Howard asked Ronnie if he'll miss anyone there eat the party. Ronnie said everyone was fun. He said Richard was fun to talk to. Howard said it will be hard for him to miss the party then. Ronnie said he can do things without the whole party. He said he can Zoom with Richard.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who asked what these guys are putting into the party. She said it sounds like Ronnie is the one who is the fun part. She said Ronnie should keep doing what he's doing. She said she hopes his family is going to be okay. Howard hung up on her.
Howard said it sounds like Ronnie gets very upset as soon as someone opens their mouth. Ronnie said that's right.
Howard said he's sorry to hear about the stuff that's upsetting him. He said he would do happy hour with Ronnie anytime. He said he likes Ronnie. Ronnie said Howard wouldn't last long. He said it's so boring. Chris said it will be without Ronnie. Ronnie said sometimes they talk about changing their backgrounds. He said that's the boring stuff they talk about.
Howard asked who the most boring one is on there. Ronnie said he's not going to say that. Howard said he hopes that he can give it one more shot before giving it up. Ronnie said let them stare at the wall, he's done. Howard asked if he has any last words. Ronnie puppet said a few words.
Ronnie said he wants to thank Howard for keeping everyone employed. Howard said they're all lucky. He said it's SiriusXM that allows them to keep working. He said they're very lucky that way. Howard said a lot of people can't work so they're very lucky.
Howard said he's not so happy about Ronnie hanging out with his neighbors but he doesn't listen to him. Howard said Ronnie is a good sport. He said he's going to let them go now.
Howard said he thinks Ronnie might give it another shot. He said he doesn't believe he's done with the Zoom happy hour.
Howard said he has Ronnie from the Future on the line. He said that he does end up with Coronavirus. Howard took his call and talked to Ronnie from the future about being sick. The guys had clips of Ronnie when he actually was sick and barely able to talk.
Howard read the feedback they got about Dr. Agus and how great it was to hear his positive outlook on the future of this virus.
Howard said they got some feedback about Kristin Christy and Bubby being on the show last week. He read through some of that. He read about Richard claiming that his bad hygiene came from living on a farm. A farmer wrote in about Richard giving them a bad name talking like that.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about having second thoughts on having children after hearing Bubby on the show last week. He read through some of that feedback. Howard said it sounded like Richard's wife is putting up with a lot over at that house.
Howard said a mother of two wrote in saying that Bubby may have a sleeping issue. Howard said even President Trump weighed in on Richard. He had a clip of fake Trump calling in and leaving a voicemail.
Howard said he has a prank call that Sal and Richard did in honor of the screaming baby. He played the Jack and Rod Show bit that Sal and Richard did where they talked to a home schooling expert with Richard's screaming Bubby in the background. They had a child get on with the expert and told him he sounded like a dumb dumb so the guy eventually hung up.
Howard read some feedback about Gary and his drinking and his Coronavirus funk. Howard had a couple of those things to read. People were thanking Gary for sharing how he feels.
Howard said some of the fans got on him about Gary and his drinking. He read through some of that and told him to let Gary drink if his life isn't being affected. People were telling him to leave Gary alone about his drinking. He said people deal with this shit in their own way.
Howard said Bigfoot and Wendy were a big hit with the audience last week. Howard had some feedback about Wolfie's coverage. He said they said he did a good job and they were wondering if Shuli and Wolfie will have a feud in the future over that. Howard said he was kind of shocked that Shuli wasn't more upset. Shuli said that he's not worried. He said he has to do a lot more to take his job. He said Wolfie didn't find Bigfoot for him. He said Jon Leiberman found him for Wolfie. He said that was out of his hands. He said he has been calling Bigfoot for the last 3 years. He said that his number never changed. He said his voicemail was never even set up. He said he'd like to see Wolfie do Tan Mom or High Pitch. Howard said Shuli just threw down the gauntlet. Robin said even Underdog. Howard said Wolfie is working on another Bigfoot interview that will blow your mind. Howard talked to Shuli as Tan Mom for a few seconds. Howard let him go after that.
Howard played Bobo's audition and he started off with a Hey Now and talked to Robin like he was Howard. He had nothing to say other than watching porno flicks. Howard said if you ever hear that then you know something horrible has happened in the world and everyone else is dead.
Howard said this is Tan Mom's audition tape. He said they didn't change this in any way. He played the clip and Tan Mom was talking about feeling dizzy and having diarrhea after eating sushi and sucking on someone's balls. She was just rambling. Howard said he thinks he would listen to that.
Howard said Wendy was next. He said she started off talking about her day to day life. He said she sounds aggravated. Howard played the clip and Wendy told Robin to shut the fuck up as soon as she started. She said she has to run errands and things for her family. She said she was up all night watching Netflix and she has to take a big poop.
Howard said he likes that she starts off with a shut the fuck up Robin. He said she's in control on that show.
Howard said he has nothing but good thoughts for Scott Greenstein. He said he got that whole Prince channel put together. He said he got that 3 hour demo he did. He said he flew and met with Prince to do that demo and now they have it. He said he's very impressed with Scott.
Robin said she saw that Prince special and there were a lot of bad covers of his music. She said that Prince would have hated it. Howard said he liked it. He asked who didn't do a good job. Robin said she's not naming names. Howard said there were a lot of great ones. Robin said Prince never would have submitted to that. She said she knows what he was all about and he would not have liked that.
Howard said the last guy to audition was High Pitch Erik. He said that he auditioned in case he's ill. He said Erik was trying to channel his anger. Erik was very angry about the weather and doing his Peloton. Howard said Erik did very little preparation for his audition. She said that he has none of that stuff so it was an impression of Howard. Howard said he didn't have anything.
Howard said they had to pock a celebrity to talk to and Erik picked Michael Bloomberg. He played a clip of Erik asking Bloomberg question after question about sex.
Howard had Wendy interviewing Britney Spears and The Backstreet Boys. She asked a few questions.
Howard had a clip of Tan Mom interviewing Jimmy Kimmel. She had some questions for Jimmy and then she told him to go fuck himself because of the way he said that it was Adam Barta's song and not ''our'' song.
Howard said Bobo got really weird. He said he pretended to interview Billy Joel and he got really sexual with it. He played the clip and Bobo was asking him about Christie Brinkley and about his cock.
Howard said sexualized Bobo is so gross. He wondered if he was touching himself during that. Robin said it sounded like it. She said it sounded like he was getting himself hot.
Howard asked Fred to do his Bobo Puppet thing and have him talking to Billy Joel. Fred did his thing and had him asking really inappropriate questions about Christie Brinkley.
Howard said he realized that Zoom is starting to break up so he has to wrap this up. He said that the Wack Pack would have to read live commercials and Bobo was up first. He did a live read for Legal Zoom. Howard played the clip of Bobo trying to read the commercial. He had a tough time getting through it.
Howard said Bobo choked on that. He had him on the phone. Bobo said some of words he wasn't able to pronounce. He said some of the words were kind of intricate. Howard said he thought his head was going to explode. Bobo said he wasn't able to get out ''intricacies.'' Howard told him to try it again. Bobo wasn't able to say it. Howard said he's not going to interrupt and just say it until you get it right. Bobo kept trying over and over. Howard said he'll say it and then Bobo can try to say it. Howard said the word and Bobo repeated it and got close enough. Robin asked if he knows what it means. Bobo said he has no idea. Howard said they'll leave it at that then. He had Bobo say the word one more time. Bobo did it and got it right.
Howard had Tan Mom's commercial read. He had her doing a Steven Singer Jewelers commercial and she went off on him like she really hated him. She was taking that ''I hate Steven Singer'' thing seriously.
Howard said High Pitch Erik did a commercial read for Gardein. He said this might be the most times someone has used the word ''fuck'' in a commercial. He played the clip and Erik kept screwing up and saying ''fuck!''
Howard said Wendy did a great job for Zip Recruiter. Howard played her audition tape and she did do better than everyone else. Robin said ''please...'' Howard said she did better than Bobo. Robin said that's not saying much.
Howard gave Gardein a plug for sponsoring the entire show today. He talked about some stuff he made with Gardein plant based meat.
Howard took a call from Mike in Maine who said they have just a little bit of Coronavirus up there. He said the governor up there is getting way ahead of things. Robin asked if they're opening up there. Mike said he's been working the whole time. He said he works for a door and window place and they're being very careful.
Robin said they have no Coronavirus in Antarctica. Howard said he should go there. Robin said that's where you have to live. Howard said he has to go upstairs. He said their window shades aren't working so he has to go deal with that. Robin asked if he has to get on a ladder. Howard said he spent all day working on it and he has no idea what's going on.
Mike said it's harder to get put on hold and get on the show lately. He said it's really throwing him off. He said he needs Howard Stern during this quarantine thing. Howard said that's nice. He said he's not sure why he's having trouble getting through. He said he's glad that he's safe and sound. Mike said that on the show Billions they had an Ayahuasca scene and he doesn't think they'd be doing that if they hadn't heard about it on the Stern Show. Howard wrapped up and said he knows people are feeling down. He said you're not alone. Robin said people are still predicting 2022 when they're done. Howard said he didn't even send his mother a card. He said he didn't want her getting mail. He did his impression of his mom for a short time. They ended the show around 10:25am.
Howard started the show talking about Anderson Cooper coming in today. He said he's a new dad. He said he enjoyed an interview he did with the mayor of Las Vegas recently. He said it was particularly idiotic. He said he watched it like 7 times because it was so entertaining. Robin said you can't believe what's going on out there. She said it's like they staged it.
Howard said he's depressed. He said he can't watch the news about what's going on. He said he believes that this country blew it with the Coronavirus. He said he was late to the party and they messed up with testing. He said it's too depressing to watch. He said yesterday he put the news on while he was in the shower. He said they turned it on and they were in the middle of a press conference with President Trump. He said he was addressing the press and had a military official up there with him. He said they'd go back and forth with the guy. He said within that 5 minutes his mouth was wide open. He said he caught it live and if he hadn't turned on the news in months and this is what he sees. He wondered what the fuck is going on.
Howard said a woman in the audience from CBS news asked Trump about why he keeps saying that we have the best testing in the world and why is that important to say. He said Trump looks at her and tells her to go ask China. He said this woman was Asian and she asks why he's addressing Chinese comments to her. He said then a woman gets up and asks a question and he says ''no, not you.'' He said he saw the president get up and insult an Asian woman. He said that he turned off the TV because he's getting too upset watching the news.
Howard said it reminded him of Ronnie at the Zoom party. He said it makes you crazy. He said if he was Trump he would have said the reason we have the best testing is because we're number 1. He said that he'd have something to say like that. He said it's bullshit to answer that way but to tell an Asian woman to check with China is insane. He said stop saying we have the best testing. He said he has friends who have Coronavirus and they ask their doctor to get tested and they're told you can't be tested. He said that this isn't fake news. He said this woman can't get tested. Robin said everyone around the President is tested constantly so that's why we can't get tests.
Howard said that he can't watch the news. He said someone sent him an article where they wondered why no one is asking Trump to resign other than Howard Stern. He read the article from The Atlantic where they asked that question. Howard said he can tell you why. He said he prides himself on being a very honest person. He said he thinks it would be patriotic of Donald to say that he can't handle it. He said he could hand it over to Pence who ran Indiana. He said that he might do a better job. He said he'd be able to hug Donald after that. He said he'd be so happy to get out of this pressure cooker. He said he could live at Mar-A-Lago the rest of his days and be happy. He said he's been there and it's like heaven. Robin said he would never be able to walk away and live with it.
Howard said when he was running for Governor he was able to walk away. He said he wanted to get in there and just do a couple of things and then he would have walked away. He said he just wanted to get rid of the tolls in New York and do a couple of other things. He said he would have walked away after getting them done.
Howard said he really didn't want to be governor. He said he was going to hand it over to Stan Dwarkin. He said that he chose Stan for the people. He said his polling was going up and up. He said people didn't believe it. Robin said that was a precursor for what's going on now. She said people were using their votes stupidly.
Howard said no one is asking Donald to resign. He said that it's something you bring up like with Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon. He said Nixon eventually did resign.
Howard said he was thinking about Donald and he thinks what he wanted was celebrities. He said he loves them. He said he'd go to anything with celebrities in New York. He said he was at his wedding. Howard said Donald sat with Joan Rivers at his wedding. He said he stayed most of the night because there were so many celebrities. He said he loves it so much he jerks off to it.
Howard said when he became president the celebrities turned their backs on him. He said that he can't even host the Kennedy Center honors now. He said every president has done that. He said that it's a tremendous television moment for the president. He said it's everything Donald would want. He said he can't even host it because they're afraid no one would show up. He said it has to be killing him that he doesn't have that interaction with celebrities other than Kanye West.
Howard said the people that Donald despises the most are the people who vote for him. He said he wouldn't let these people in his hotel. He said he despises you. He said you're someone to grab by the pussy if you're hot. He said he knows Donald very well. He said he doesn't hate Donald but he hates you for voting for him. He said Donald is just doing his thing. He said he hates you for voting for him. He said you don't have the intelligence to see what's going on with the Coronavirus and to see what the justice department is doing. He said he wants to throw all of you out for voting for him. He said don't call him and start arguing with him. He said don't call him a libtard. He said he's not a liberal at all.
Robin said that Sean Hannity said that Howard used to be a rebel. Howard said Sean used to be a hard core republican. He said that he used to love Greg Gutfeld too. He said he was anti-Trump and then he turned on a dime. He said he was all in after that. He said he knows some of these guys and they're not dummies. He said he's not sure what they think they're going to get out of this.
Howard said he's not sure what's going on. Robin said that Trump is blaming Obama for the broken tests with the Coronavirus. She said this didn't even exist when Obama was in office.
Howard took a call from someone who said he's tired of hearing him drone on. Howard said he has to say something. He said Trump is arguing with Jimmy Kimmel on Twitter during this. He asked what he's doing. He asked who gives a shit. He said grow up mother fucker. The caller said 66 percent of the people who were in quarantine caught the virus. He asked how you explain that. He said Cuomo doesn't understand it. Howard said so what. He said no one knows what's going on. He said he can't get into this with him. Howard said go back to work.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she can't get tested and she doesn't understand why people are defending Trump. Howard said these people have turned into something he doesn't recognize. He said they're not republicans. He said he's not sure what the fuck this is we're dealing with.
Howard said his daughter is in health care and she's tracking this Coronavirus. He said he doesn't want to get into it about her. He said that he knows what this woman is talking about.
Howard took a call from Ralph who hasn't been helping him with clothes lately. He said he texted him last night asking if he wants him to help put outfits together. He said he just said thank you and the thought of that makes him woozy. He said he'd be the first person to have a Zoom underwear party.
Ralph said he was going to ask if he wants him to go into the city to get anything. Howard said he's not sure if he's ever going back to the city. He said he's paranoid about germs. He said he hears about some secondary thing coming and the hornets that they're talking about. Ralph said he hasn't been in the city for over 2 months and it feels weird. Robin said it feels weird to her not being outside of this area she's in. Howard said he feels weird being outside of his area.
Ralph said he watched that Trump press conference and he thinks Trump wasn't talking to that woman about China because she was Asian. Howard said his answer had nothing to do with anything China. He said he looked at her and told her to go ask China because she looked Chinese. Ralph said he has said that kind of thing before and used the same answer. Howard said he thinks what he's saying is the right answer. He said just answer the question and tell us why it's so important to say we have the best testing.
Howard said he thinks Trump got flustered being asked those questions. He said he might as well have told her to go as Mr. Miagi. He said he could have pulled his eyes back and said ''Ching chong chung.'' Ralph said it would be funny if he called it the Kung Flu. Howard said just let it fly. He said he was thinking ''Just go hit a gong you bitch.'' He said he told her to go ask China. Ralph said they caused this whole mess.
Howard said he doesn't make sense. He said that he might as well have said ''go get my laundry'' or ''go fry some rice toots.'' He said he could have said ''go give someone hand release.'' Howard had a bunch of those lines that Trump could have used.
Howard said he could have just said ''leave us round eyes alone.'' He said that was a good question about why it's so important to him to say they're very good tests. He said that this poor woman asked why he was directing that at her. Ralph said the other woman started yelling at him and he walked off. Robin said he did the usual saying that anyone can get a test. Then another guy said that they'll have tests if you're symptomatic.
Howard said he's not lying about this stuff. He said he just watched it happen in a press conference. Ralph said they have a fact checker on CNN who goes through everything as it's happening.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to pick up where Ralph left off. He said he's right on but he's a moron. The caller said the woman started talking and you can't tell she's Asian. Robin said she pulled her mask down. The caller said she did that after he said the China thing. Howard said put him in a room with 10 people and he'll tell you who is Asian. The caller said he's back pedaling. Howard said Trump knows who the reporter is. He said it's the same reporters every time. The caller said he doesn't know that.
Howard said the answer to that question was not given. He said it was a solid question and he didn't answer it.
Ralph said he's wondering where the past presidents are. He said Obama finally said something but no one else is saying anything. Robin said Mitch McConnell told Obama he should shut his mouth. Howard said Mitch is a tough guy now too. Robin said he never spoke up about anything until Trump got in office.
Howard took a call from a guy in New Zealand who said he wants to agree with Howard. He said he has taken a lot of hits on this but he wants to say that this is not about politics but it's about leadership. He said that their prime minister had them lock down and this is how they're going to defeat it. He said they agreed to pay their wages and that's how they got them to go along with it. Howard said they had a plan and they're not attacking reporters and Jimmy Kimmel on Twitter. He said that's leadership. Howard thanked the caller and Ralph.
Ralph said for the people calling in about him bashing Trump, he so isn't. He said he knows some of the things that he could have said and he's gone easy on him. Howard said he wanted him to be successful. He said he doesn't understand why he's not encouraging the wearing of masks. He said the whole thing is bizarre. He said the Jimmy Kimmel tweets and the Asian reporter thing is just weird. Howard said he's not anti-Trump. He said he wants America to be successful. Ralph said Cuomo should just take over. Howard said he agrees.
Robin said she hears that giving people money to keep their heads above water will make people not want to go back to work. Howard said he doesn't think so.
Howard said he can't go for walks because he still yells at people who don't wear masks. He said there are people walking all over the place without masks. He said he's wearing one to protect them but they don't care about him. He said people are very selfish. He said his wife can't walk with him because of that.
Howard said he saw the Double Rainbow guy died from Coronavirus. He said this guy is the one who saw the rainbow and then saw a double rainbow. He said the video was huge a few years back. He played a clip of that guy's video. He said it was a hit because his excitement was infectious. He said that his favorite part was when he said it was looking like a triple rainbow. He said he says ''What does this mean?'' at one point and he loves that. He said the video has 47 million views.
Howard said that guy died and he was reading about his life. He said he had a real life. He said you think that someone dies and you can be dismissive. He said he was a trucker and a fire fighter at one point. He said he had an interesting life. He said his name was Paul Vasquez.
Jason had more information about Paul. He read that he was a fire fighter and cage wrestled. He said he was married at one point and had kids and then he went off and lived on a mountain where he grew his own food and marijuana.
Howard said someone recorded the Zoom happy hour and he has some clips to play. He said he won't say who recorded this. Howard said the entire staff is invited to go to this Zoom happy hour thing. He said he understands there are only 6-10 attendees now. He said a lot of people gave up on it.
Howard said it didn't take Ronnie long to take over the whole thing. He had some clips of Ronnie talking to John Blitt and asking him about vibrators and having sex. He told a story about a friend who was controlling a vibrator from his phone with his girlfriend.
Howard asked if Robin is upset she's not part of this party. Robin said she thinks she'll stay away. Howard said Ronnie used to do a whole show in the halls there. He said now he can't do that so he gets to do it in these parties.
Howard said Ronnie has been obsessed with this NASCAR driver who was fired for using the N-word. He said he decided to share those views during the happy hour. He played a clip of Ronnie talking about that with the guys. Ronnie said the guy was joking around and drunk when he said it. He said King of All Blacks is allowed to say it and he's such a piece of fucking shit.
Howard said he has some verbal drive. He said his brain seems to be wide open and doesn't put a governor on it at all.
Howard said Ronnie also called someone out for saying ''Kike'' in the meeting. Howard said he really does take over the party.
Howard had Ronnie on Zoom and talked to him about that. Ronnie said he's not going to do the party again. He said he sees how people react to him on it. He said if he's not there maybe Robin will show up. Robin said no she won't.
Howard said he has a fact for Ronnie. He said there are no longer female staff members in that happy hour. He said they all stopped going. He said he's not saying that it's because of Ronnie. Ronnie said they never had any. Gary said that's not true. Ronnie said in the beginning they showed up. He said now they don't. He said they can all come back now. Howard said it's a total sausage fest over there now.
Howard said he's not sure that he cleared the room but they don't show up now. Ronnie said he's been there from the start. He said maybe they are sick of him.
Howard said Ronnie offended one of the girlfriend who was there. He played a clip of the guys talking about what happened and how this girlfriend heard him saying ''kike'' and she was turned off by that. Ronnie said that's not what the text message he sent him the day before said.
Howard had Ronnie and Mike Fox on the line so he had Mike read his text to Ronnie. He read that and said that Rachel was fucking around and not offended. Mike said she wasn't that offended but in the moment she was. He said that it was strange but she does love Ronnie. He said that's what he was trying to say. He said if he stops going to the happy hour they're going to lose all of this.
Howard said he thinks Ronnie is very hurt. He said he has a montage of Ronnie shit talking people during the happy hour. Ronnie said it was proved yesterday that he didn't say that he came on his keyboard. He said he never said it. Howard said it seemed like a good line. Ronnie said he didn't cum on anything.
Howard played the montage of Ronnie going off on the guys during the happy hour meeting. Ronnie yelled at a bunch of people in that montage.
Mike said that Ronnie does that but they know that's just the way he is. Ronnie said he doesn't like Fox. Mike said he breaks his balls and it's fun. Ronnie said he doesn't like him.
Howard said there it is. He said that was Ronnie at the happy hour. He said he's going to take a short break and get to Anderson Cooper.
Howard came back and said he has so much to talk about. He said he had a big breakthrough with one of his cats. He said hey have a cat named Mushu and she's very shy. He said it was another rescue and she doesn't like people. He said she won't let them pet her and things like that. He said he made her his project and started giving her treats. He said he made her move closer for treats. He said this has been going on for months. He said he takes the time out of his day to do this. He said recently the cat started coming in and getting near him. He said he can pet her now. He said she likes it for a while. He said then she'll run away like she doesn't know him.
Howard said Saturday night the cat jumped on the couch and let him rub her. As he was talking about that someone played a Dr. Phil and Benjy bit over him. Then they played some other bits and songs. It turns out it was an old clip they played while they were dealing with a technical glitch.
Anderson said that Bill Gates takes online classes and he's a really smart guy. Anderson said he should have time to do that himself. He said he could do that since the baby he has sleeps a lot.
Anderson talked about how he's 52 and has a baby now and he's all in on it. He said it's incredible. Howard said he's not going to call him a single dad because his ex-partner is raising the child with him. Anderson said he is family to him. Howard said you'd think you'd want a clean break from him.
Anderson said he was with him for 10 years. He said he doesn't really have a family much right now. He said he has 2 half brothers and they're not around. He said his friends become his family. He said he was involve with this guy for 10 years and he wants somebody. He said his mom wasn't the most parental person. He said he wishes he had someone to go to a ball game and things like that with him. He said if something happens to him then he has someone around. He said his ex is a great guy and it's great to have two parents if you can. Howard said he's glad he explained that. He asked if they're both going to be dad. Anderson said his ex is going to speak in French to the kid and he'll be Papa and he'll be dad. Howard said he loves that plan. He said he wishes that someone had spoken to him when he was growing up.
Anderson said that he's speaking French to him already and he has no idea what he's saying to him. He said he could be trash talking him for all he knows. Howard said he thinks his mother would have gotten a kick out of this. Anderson said he thinks so too. He said she always wanted him to have a kid. He said he was able to tell her he was going to do this before she died. He said it's good to have a lot of love in your life and contribute to it. He said his fantasy in life was to have a board of directors he could go to twice a year to give you direction on how to do things in life. Howard said that's his fantasy too. He said he had a father but they didn't connect on many levels. He said he wonders what his life would have been like if he had something like that.
Anderson said his mom had a plan for him as a kid. He said she was looking at him to guide the ship. Howard said that's dangerous. He said he told Anderson that his mother would leave him her estate. He said he did read that she left it to him. Anderson asked what he read. Howard said people thought she was worth $200 million but it was more like a million and a half at the end of her life. Anderson said it might be around that much when it's done. Howard said she did leave the money to him. He said he read that his half brother got the apartment. He said that might be worth more. He asked who got the better deal. Anderson said that that's not really true. He said she lived a big life and she made and spent a lot of money. He said she wasn't interested in money. He said she had no sense of money and she was very generous to her friends.
Howard asked if Anderson was shocked when he got the news about her leaving him something. Anderson said no. He said he was left a lot of money but he put into it. Howard asked what he means. Anderson said he knows it's confusing. Anderson said he paid his mother back for a lot of things over his life. Howard said he was just shocked she left him something. Anderson said he thinks it was more about her being appreciative of him being there for her. Anderson said it's not that much money like some people were saying it was.
Howard said he knows he's doing well in life and he doesn't need her money. He said he has to think about what to do with his money too. Anderson said he knows that. Howard said it's almost a mistake that she didn't just split the estate evenly with the three boys. He said a child might feel scarred if they aren't equal. Howard said his father called him once and brought up his estate. He said he told him that he should split it evenly. He said he'd have no issue handing over his half though. Anderson said that he never anticipated this. He said that she helped out her other kids over her life and he thinks everyone feels okay.
Howard said he's more hung up on this than Anderson is. Anderson said his mom painted from her late 20s on. He said he wanted to keep all of that together. Howard asked where they were. Anderson said she sold a lot and he has a lot and there's a lot in her studio. He said she had some apartments and there are some in those apartments. Howard asked if she was good. Anderson said she was. He said he's not sure she got the appreciation that she should have. He said he's going to work on that over the next few years.
Howard talked about his water paintings and how he does that. He said it upsets him when celebrities think they should get money for paintings even if they're not that great. Anderson said his mother didn't care about that. He said she would put her paintings in frames that cost more than the paintings. He said she was selling some of her stuff on Instagram. He said she'd draw something and he'd put it on Instagram for her and it would sell right away. He said that he had to tell her not to frame them in expensive frames. He said she could make money off of them.
Howard asked what she was making on them. Anderson said they could go from $3500 to 8000. He said she was doing very well in the last year of her life and she loved it. He said it gave her a reason to get out of bed. He said it's still up on Instagram and it's lovely.
Howard said he won't sell his paintings. He said he doesn't want to let them go. He said he has done paintings for other people but he feels funny about selling them. He said that's just not something he does. Anderson asked if he just doesn't want to part with them. Howard said that's it. Anderson said he gets that. He said he would buy some of his mother's paintings on Instagram if he really liked them.
Howard said Anderson's mother kept journals so that must be interesting. Anderson said that she did and it's fascinating. He said this circle of life is something to see. He said he was in the room with his mother when she was dying and in the delivery room with his son. He said it's really crazy.
Howard asked if he's reading her journals. Anderson said he thinks they're meant to be read. Howard said he's not sure about that. He said if you're doing it for therapy maybe not. He said that it can ruin the experience if you don't want them read. He said he'd be afraid to write that stuff down. He said it's really superficial. Anderson said his mother would tell him this stuff in inappropriate ways anyway.
Howard said he'd go through his dad's things to figure out who he was. He said that he thinks about Anderson the same way trying to figure out who his mother is. Anderson said it wasn't like that. He said he was concerned about the stability of the ship they were on. He said he wanted to give good advice to her. He said he didn't want to be surprised by some disaster. Howard asked if there were shocking things in there like guys entering her. Anderson said not at all. He said there were stories about waiting for a guy to leave his wife for her and things like that. He said he'd talk to her about those things and tell her that the guy isn't going to leave his wife for her.
Anderson said that his mother would write about him in the journal so he reads about that stuff and it makes him think he was a good son. Howard said he would love to have something like that in his life. He asked how many she had. Anderson said he has found about 20. He said it goes back a long time. He said she did LSD in the 50s and she was a really fascinating person. He said the flip side is his dad who kept journals. He said they were more schedules of stuff. He said he wrote a book and he wrote about his family and his hopes for his sons. He said he knew he was going to die so it was really a letter to his brother and him. He said that he reads it twice a year as a touchstone to him.
Howard said he imagines his mother writing about cleaning the grit out of his underpants and things like that. He said he doesn't think his journal would have been that interesting.
Howard said he knows Anderson is going to the CNN studios every day. He said that puts you at risk every day. Anderson said the last couple of nights he's been at home but he did buy a new bike right before the shutdown. He said there is no one in his office. He said there are cleaning crews and security there but that's it. Howard said he still comes in contact with some people. Anderson said there were people who were out and he went in to get better quality there. He said that the home setup is better now but he felt like he had to go. He said he has spent time in other places that are falling apart. He said you take the precautions that you have to and he thinks CNN has a safe environment. He said he thinks that it's safe there. He said he's on a remote camera. He said it was very strange to be there because there was no one there. He said some of the other reporters were there but you don't interact with them.
Howard said he thinks this is what excites him about being a journalist. He said he has a son now though. Anderson said he has gone to war zones and things and there are people no the front lines who are at risk more than he is. Howard said he could do it from his home and be safe. Howard said he's not sure he'll ever see Manhattan ever again. He said he may never go back to that building. He said he's staying home and he thinks that's what Anderson would do. Anderson said extraordinary things are happening and there are moments of feeling connected to people who are in this struggle. He said that there are tons of bike delivery guys and essential workers out there going to work every day. He said there are people who are in supermarkets who aren't being given personal protective gear or hand sanitizer. Howard said Anderson doesn't have to do it though. Anderson said up until now he didn't have a family. He said he believes that this is the time to plant your flag and do whatever you can do. He said he thinks he's good at calculating risk.
Howard said he heard that he was going to get Andy Cohen's nurse. Anderson said she is a baby nurse and that's what she likes to do. He said that she was with Andy for a year and she was willing to come over and help him. Howard asked if she's going to be living with him the whole time. Anderson said she will be. He said she goes for walks and things. Howard said she can't go out. Anderson said that Howard is such a germaphobe. Howard asked if she takes the weekend off. Anderson said she could if she wanted to. Howard asked if he takes her temperature when she returns. Anderson said she's a nurse. He said he'd like her to take his temperature. Howard said he hopes he's thinking this all through. Anderson said he is. He said that most of us are probably going to get it. He said studies say that it's going to take a few years for enough of us to get it. He said that it's going to be a while before we have a vaccine. He said he may get it at some point. He said he hopes not and he's taking it seriously. He said he's been studying viruses like this his whole career. He said this is the world we live in.
Howard asked if he's critical of the way this is being handled by Trump. He asked if he thinks this is a late entry into this. He asked if there's something wrong with us being alerted by this in January and Trump didn't jump on it. Anderson said yes. He said that they were going to ban travel from China but by his own admission he didn't do anything in February at all. He said they put out a propaganda video showing he did something but he spent the month of February with Diamond and Silk saying that it was going to just go away with the warm weather. He said they did not do what they said they did. He said Bill Gates did a TED Talk on this in 2015 and they predicted that it would happen some day. He said we were lucky that SARS and Swine Flu didn't spread like this. He said we weren't prepared.
Howard said what he said is the truth but there are anti-science and anti-fact people out there. He said it's bubbled up and taken over the world. He said they say you're making it up or making it political. Anderson said just yesterday Trump said that anybody who wants a test can get it. He said he said that a month ago and it wasn't true then and it's not true today. He said the testing czar said that if you need a test you can get it. He said Trump repeated his lie again just minutes later. He said he repeats it knowing that the people who support him will believe it.
Howard asked how you can believe this and how does anyone have confidence in this. Anderson said that all of the republicans are so afraid of him that they won't stand up to him. He said if Obama had suggested ingesting disinfectant then people's heads would have exploded. He said Trump comes out and says he was being sarcastic. He said the whole thing is ridiculous.
Anderson said that Fauci and Birx came out and talked and Trump saw that they were getting popular so Trump stepped in and added his own thoughts to that. Howard said then he brags about his ratings being higher than the Bachelor. Anderson said then he's mocked for what he said about bleach and he cancels the talks about the virus. He said that's what's most disturbing. He said the CDC is a very talented organization and they can't believe they've been completely knee capped. Howard said he can't believe the approval ratings aren't really low. He said he feels like he's living in the Twilight Zone. Anderson said he can't believe that people are allowing the lies and misdirection. He said that they just like that he's sticking it to people and not being politically correct. He said sometimes he's just being a jerk.
Howard said he thought that reporter's question about the testing being ''great'' was so important to Trump was legitimate. Anderson said he may view those testing results as ratings. He said if the test more and the numbers go up then it reflects poorly on him. Howard said that's crazy.
Howard said Anderson thinks that journalists should not vote. Anderson said he didn't say that. He said that he did vote last time. He said he wanted to see if it affected how things work out. He said he hasn't noticed an impact. He said that he will vote this time too. Howard said that's because of Trump. Anderson said not because of him but he didn't notice any difference in how he covers anything. He said he feels okay with it.
Howard said he has watched maybe 7 times his interview with the mayor of Las Vegas. He said he loves watching it for entertainment. He said he loves hearing her idiotic responses and how she keeps repeating things. He said it's so entertaining but so frustrating. He said he could never do his job. He said he would have said she's a fucking moron and an idiot. He said Anderson did say to her that it was frustrating and she wasn't making sense. Anderson said she did say some things that were really frustrating. Howard asked if he was thinking about how his job is bullshit and he can't have any restraint. Anderson said you can just be a person screaming and calling names but that's what the President does. He said that's not who he wants to be. He said he wants to tease something out. He said he had read that the mayor said they should open the casinos and strip so he wanted to see if she has done any thinking about that. He said he wanted to have real conversations. He said that's when it gets interesting.
Howard asked if Anderson thinks about how it might go viral. Anderson said not during an interview. He said it's nice to have good ratings but no good comes of having that be a concern in your head. He said he has not looked at ratings in a year. He said he used to look at them because he was being judged by that. He said that he's just listening to catch what the person says so you can follow up.
Howard asked if it's shocking that a person gives an interview like that and doesn't resign. He said there's all kinds of lunacy out there and people don't react to it. Howard asked if he's shocked by that. Anderson said it is. He said that there's so much information out now. He said it's flowing out all the time. He said it doesn't have the impact that it used to. He said it's overwhelming. Howard said he's right. Howard said when the tape of Trump saying the grab 'em by the pussy thing came out you though that it was going to be huge but it kind of blew over. He said that's when things changed.
Anderson said that you just keep saying things over and over again and you can make good people get exhausted before charlatans get exhausted. He said that people check out and that's when things happen.
Howard said he's worried about Anderson with the kid and being busy with work. He said he may never find the great love of his life. Anderson said he thinks he has with his son Wyatt. Howard said he means the other kind of love, romantic love. He said he thinks he's over booked. Anderson said he would love to be loved in that sense. He said it's not a great time to be looking for that kind of love during a pandemic. Howard asked how you do that during a Pandemic. Anderson said he doesn't know. He said he's not online in chat rooms or anything.
Howard asked if he will circumcise Wyatt. Anderson said he won't talk about that. Howard said he doesn't think it's natural. He said it's barbaric. He said he doesn't know what he'd do with his son if he had one but he thinks he would have just because everyone else does it. Anderson said the World Health Organization recommends doing it for health reasons. He said it boils down to cultural reasons. He said that both are great. He said he's not sure where that takes them. Howard said he thinks he's saying he did do it. Anderson said he's not going to say.
Howard said he thinks that when Tim Cook decided to come out of the closet he turned to Anderson and said he admires the way he handled that aspect of his life. Howard said he called and asked for advice. Howard asked how big a deal that is. Anderson said he didn't know Tim had talked about it and he didn't talk to anyone about it. He said he wasn't going to do that. He said that they did have a talk. He said he did come out late in his life too and he's not sure he did it well. Howard asked why he waited so long to come out. Anderson said he was just applying it to himself in a lot of ways. He said he likes traveling without people knowing he's gay because you can be attacked for it. He said he just resisted the intrusion of people talking about his personal life. He said he had a public job but he likes to be private.
Howard said he likes that he is that way. He said when Ellen Degeneres came out she was doing it in a way that was like a milestone. He said Tim Cook coming out was something else too. He said there are so few openly gay CEOs out there and when Tim Cook did come out it was probably one of the most important statements that could be made. Anderson said he's a remarkable guy and he's operating a global business with global impact in all countries. He said there were a lot of things to think through. He said it's difficult when someone is in a position like that.
Howard asked Anderson what Tim was looking for in that conversation. Anderson said he doesn't want to say exactly what. He said Tim knew what he wanted to do and had seen how other people had done it. He said he liked the approach he took. He said he didn't want to make it on the cover of a magazine or something. He said he just wanted to add his voice to the stream that you hope is moving in the right direction.
Howard said Elton John also called Anderson when he came out. Anderson said he had done charity stuff for Elton so he knew him in that sense. Howard asked if it was weird when he called him. Anderson said he left a voicemail. He said he didn't recognize the number so he let it go to voicemail. He said he's too shy to call back.
Howard asked Anderson about his schedule and how that's all working. He said he thinks he needs a backup nanny. Anderson said he was raised by a lovely nanny who was like a parent to him. He said it's a strange dynamic. He said his nanny is great and it's great to have someone who knows what they're doing. He said he didn't want an army of nannies.
Howard said if he was Andy Cohen he never would have given up that nanny. He said he would have put up the money to hold on to her. He told Anderson he should tell her to stick around. Anderson said he likes her but he just got her. He said Howard sounds like Vito Corleone. Howard said double her salary and tell her that she's there for life.
Anderson said he had the same nanny from the time he was born until he was like 15. Howard said that's his point. Anderson said it was a life saver for him. He said it's a difficult thing.
Howard said he's doing a great job. He said he's watching him on CNN and he likes what he's doing. He asked if he's still doing 60 Minutes. Anderson said he is. He said he shot a piece about chef Jose Andres. He said he's working on one story about NASA right now too. Howard said having those two jobs is great. He asked when the CNN contract is up. Anderson said he's not sure anyone wants it to be up during a pandemic. He said he has a couple of years left. Howard asked if MSNBC came to him and doubled his salary for 5 years would he leave CNN. Anderson said he would not. He said he's very happy where he is. Robin asked if there are things he wants that he can't do at CNN. Anderson said not at all. Howard asked again if he would consider it. Anderson said MSNBC doesn't have people traveling around the world. He said that's what he likes to do. Howard said he has to call him off the air and give him a talking to.
Howard asked if he gave himself a hair cut and gave himself a bald spot. Anderson said he did. He showed him where it was.
Howard said Anderson is risking his life going to work at CNN. He said his show is on at 8 every night on CNN and also simulcast on channel 116 there at SiriusXM.
Howard asked Anderson if he has anything that he can say to cheer people up. Anderson said we're going to get through this. Howard said speak for yourself. Anderson said science knows there is an answer to this and scientists know how to deal with it. He said it's not a piece of material from another planet. He said they will still have water coming out of the taps. Howard asked if that's true. He said he has MREs stockpiled. Anderson said he has no problem with that. He said that they don't need to stockpile water. He said he's been to places like that where they don't have water. He said that's a whole other level of disruption. Anderson said is an end point and they have to figure out how to get there.
Howard asked how long before they're drinking their own urine. Anderson said it depends on if you're into that kind of thing.
Howard said Anderson is quite a catch. He said he has a very nice apartment. Anderson showed him his library. Anderson said he lives in an old fire department. He said he wanted it to look like a cabinet of curiosities. Howard said he really is a catch.
Howard asked if he's really single. Anderson said he is. He said he's a dad now too. Howard asked if he's in touch with Andy Cohen. Anderson said he is. He said Andy had a Zoom party and he had texted him a screen grab of 20 different people on the screen. He said he wanted to be part of that and he got in on the party. He said he didn't know what to do so he said hi and left.
Howard said he goes out of his mind in those Zoom meetings. He said he's not that lonely. Howard asked if Anderson drinks at all. Anderson said he's drinking a lot of coffee. He said he didn't understand it before. He said all he's thinking about right now is going to get some coffee. He said it really is a drug. He said he's not sure why society decided it's okay to use that one drug. He said he likes what it does to his brain. He said it's snapped into focus.
Howard said he drank coffee for a while. He said he was getting up and having a huge cup of coffee. He said he'd slog it down. He said he was shot out of a cannon. He said now he doesn't have that. Anderson said he's itching to have some. Howard asked what coffee he's having. Anderson said he doesn't know about it so he asked for black iced coffee. He said he found a coffee machine there at CNN and they had this fancy machine and he spent a good 10 minutes trying to rip off the top. He didn't know that you just put it in the machine and the machine does it all. He said the package disappears too.
Howard said he likes that he's drinking black coffee. He said he knows someone who drinks it with a lot of milk in it. He said he won't name names. Robin laughed. Anderson said just drink ice cream that's melted then. Robin said there's no sugar in there. Anderson said there is though. He said it's like drinking ice cream.
Howard asked if Anderson finds himself asking why he didn't drink coffee all these years. Anderson said he does. Howard asked if he stops drinking during the day. Anderson said he won't drink it after 2 in the afternoon. He said he has to get his sleep.
Anderson said he is doing a fasting thing too. Howard said he hates that. He said he won't deny himself food.
Howard asked about his work out and Anderson said he has a Peloton. He said they won't deliver a treadmill so he didn't get one of those. Howard said he hates exercise bikes but he got a Peloton. He also got a Hydrow. Anderson said he was a rower and he can give him some advice on that. Howard said he got his Peloton and he loves it. He said with the teachers on there it's great. He said he likes Jenn Sherman on there. He said he has gone through all of her classes and he's on to Hanna Marie Corbin. He said she wants you to drink half your body weight of water, in ounces, every day. He said he'd have to drink 100 ounces of water. He said he can't do that.
Howard said he really likes Anderson. He said he's got it together. He said there are a lot of dummies out there and Anderson isn't one of them. Anderson said he read Howard's book and it was great to reread it. He said it was very nice. Howard gave Anderson some more plugs. Robin asked if he's getting the whole baby experience. Anderson said he is getting up with the baby sometimes. He said he likes burping him. He said every time he has gotten up she looks at him like he shouldn't be there. Howard said pay that woman double and keep her there.
Howard said he's sorry about his mom. He said it has to be tough around Mother's day. Anderson said she was 95 years old and it was great to be there with her at the end. Howard said that is pretty great. Anderson said it was great.
Howard said he loves his apartment. He said it looks like the Bat cave. Anderson said he's welcome to stop by to take a tour. Howard asked if he has a pole to slide down. Anderson said he does and he has a lot of paintings there too. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said this guy is a real catch. He said if he was a gay man he'd be all in on this guy. Robin said the two of them would drive each other crazy. Howard said he doesn't think so. He said he'd be very pleased with him at night. He said he wouldn't know what hit him.
Robin said they would be an attractive couple. Howard said he'd have to wear his mask. He said he went for a walk the other day and Beth had a nice mask on and he had his bandana. He said he had it covering him up like The Invisible Man. He said he read that Coronavirus can get into your system through your eyes. He said it's all very scary. Robin said she can't believe Howard and his stockpile of food. Howard said she has no idea what he has going on there. He said Beth is going out of her mind.
Howard said he's stockpiling like High Register Sean. He said he doesn't have an optimistic view of the future and the way things are being handled. Robin said she was watching something on PBS yesterday and they were saying that because of our diets and lack of exercise. She said that people are impulsive and emotional about their decision making so it's not looking good.
Howard said he was going to do some work on his apartment but why bother. He said he's not sure if he'll ever go back. He said he doesn't see how he's going to go back unless there's a vaccine. Howard said there are people out there who say they won't take one if there is one. He said this is why he's upset with people in this country. He said imagine people refused to take vaccines for the measles and things like that. Robin said it doesn't make sense at all. Howard said one out of four people say they won't take it.
Robin said back in the day when there was a swine flu vaccine the military had to take it. She said she was in the military and she had to take it. Howard read some details about things that killed people like swine flu and yellow fever. They went through a bunch of those diseases with Robin guessing which one killed more people. Robin was guessing a lot of them right.
Howard said they went out and asked people if they would take the vaccine for Coronavirus and 1 out of 4 said no. He said people believe that Bill Gates started this virus so he can put a microchip in every person on the planet. Howard said think about how silly that is.
Howard asked why he'd need one in every person. He said you're already being followed with the phone you have on you every day. Robin said people can't think. Howard said they try to think but nothing happens.
Howard said he's going to take a break and then take some calls and get to some other things he has to talk about. He said a lot of fans wrote in questions about what they're doing in quarantine. Robin said she got a Hydrow so she can work out since she can't do anything weight bearing on her foot right now.
Howard said he's got a problem with his prostate. He said he has to get up in the middle of the night a lot. He said nothing came out last night. He said it was this tiny amount.
Howard said he was watching this Hanna Marie Corbin and she wears some outfits on this Peloton. He said it turns out she was a dancer before she did this. He said that she does this thing when she's teaching. He said she'll get excited about being on the bike. He said she's wearing a belly shirt and she'll start waving her arm. He said she looks in the camera and smiles. He said it's a move and you should see this smile. He said it's very suggestive. He said she loves to dance on the bike. He said she loves every kind of music too. He said she's very excited about all of this. Robin said these are Howard's friends now. Howard said he knows everything about Peloton Jenn. He said now with Hanna Marie he knows a lot.
Howard said the guys just wrote that Hanna was a former ballet dancer. He said she's an excellent teacher. He said she teaches a lot of things like Peloton Jenn. He said this Hanna talks about how much water he has to drink and he came up with 100 ounces. He said that's way too much water for someone who has an enlarged prostate. He said he would have to drink 10 bottles a day. He said he'd be pishing all night and day.
Howard said he goes for a walk with his wife every day and they go maybe a mile and a half. He said he tells her to slow down. He said he used to be a runner but now he's a walker. He said he has to pee before he leaves. He said he has to go every 15 minutes. Robin laughed.
Howard said he used to make fun of people who had to pee all the time. He said he's like a woman now. He said it dribbles out. He said that 100 ounces is crazy. He said he's no ballet dancer. Robin said Tom Brady talked about drinking that much water.
Howard said the guys are telling him that Hanna Marie does the splits on her Instagram. JD told him about that and said her husband is a lucky man. Howard said JD is spending a lot of time researching her. Howard got in another plug for Gardein before they went to break.
Howard came back and asked if they're playing something. They were and Howard didn't hear it so he was talking and the music was louder than him.
Howard said there's a conspiracy theory about the vaccine for Coronavirus that's about Bill Gates. He said they also have one where they think the government created it to profit from the vaccine. He said they need to come up with some good conspiracy theories. He said they already have taxes to take our money. He said they don't need to sell Coronavirus vaccine. He said think it through when you come up with a conspiracy theory. He said these people don't fear the virus but they fear the government. He said it's very odd.
Howard said if he was going to create a conspiracy theory he'd say that it's Netflix and Peloton. He said they're benefiting from it.
Howard said he's watching a show called El Dragon and it's in subtitles. He said it's about a young guy who inherits a drug empire and every hot chick wants to fuck him because he's so good looking. He said he's almost too good looking.
Howard said the guy is Mexican but they call him a ''dirty Jap'' and he's not sure why. He said they have the cheesiest music and the villains are over the top. Robin said maybe it was created by the same people who created those conspiracy theories.
Howard said he got a note saying that it was the most watched show in Mexico on Netflix. He said Beth came in to watch it and she bailed on it.
Howard said he took a couple of years of Spanish in high school so he knows that El means ''the.'' He said that Mrs. Ginsberg taught him that. He said his nickname was El Douche Bag if you didn't know that.
Robin asked if Howard if he's watching The Last Dance about the last season of the Bulls with Michael Jordan. Howard said he will start that tonight. Robin said she thinks about Howard when she watches this show. She said the guys are all talking about how maybe he wasn't such a nice guy. Howard said he loves Gary. He said he has watched him go from a 25 year old boy to a 55 year old boy. Gary said he's 59. Howard asked if that's right. Gary said he turned 59 a couple of days after they stopped coming in.
Howard said Gary was talking about how he doesn't know if he'll ever go back to the studio. He said Gary is going. He said he's like the canary in the gold mine. Gary said he's no one's canary.
Gary said that they're always talking about when they're going to go back to work. He said he doesn't see that before the end of the year. He said some of the guys think they'll be back after Labor Day. Howard said he can imagine Gary going back then. He said they'll see what happens to him. He said he'll commute and go and he'll be like Anderson Cooper going to work. He said he can produce from there. He said maybe 3 months later he'll show up. Or maybe 3-6 years later. Howard said Gary has to go back to work at some point. He said he wants him in the office. Gary said when it's safe he'll go. Gary said there are some people working in the building but not many. Gary said he'll go when he thinks it's safe. Howard said he'll decide that for him. He said soon it will be safe. He said he'll tell him what to do like Trump is telling people what to do.
Howard said he really doesn't see them going back by September. He said he's the wrong guy to talk to about this stuff. He said he thinks September but 5 years from now. He said he thinks this will go on a year or two.
Robin said she has friends who are talking about coming to visit her in the summer. Howard laughed. Robin said it scared her when they suggested that. Gary asked if they're taking a plane. Robin said they're going to drive and then stay with her for a week. Howard said he's not sure who they are but she has to raise up her level of friends. Robin said she couldn't believe when they gave her dates. Howard said they have to be out of their minds. He asked why she'd want them in her house. Robin said she wanted to call them and say that she had died.
Howard said he's not sure when Gary is going back to work. He said he'll get back to him about it. Robin said she may have to tell her friends that Howard said no. Howard said that's fine with him.
Howard said they were talking about Gary's drinking the other day. He said he has Gary Dell'Abate who wants to defend his drinking. He took the call and the guys had slowed Gary's voice down and had him talking about drinking. The caller on the line was laughing his ass off. Howard spent a minute talking to Drunk Gary. The guys had his voice slowed for speech and even for his throat clearing.
Howard said he loves the way Beth looks in her glasses. He said he'd make love to her today after the show but it's not a good day if you catch his drift. Beth said the next couple of days. She said that she has to get going now. She asked if he was going to have oatmeal for lunch today. Howard said he might have a smoothie.
Howard said Helen trusts people so much. He said you can hang her upside down. He said she shouldn't be so trusting. Robin said they land on their feet. Howard said not Helen. He said if you have a cat they can bring you a smile during these times. Beth said George and Allie are going to foster a puppy. Howard said he'll have to talk to them tomorrow about that.
Beth asked when they're going for a walk today. Howard said he's not sure but get ready for a yell fest. He said that people are not wearing masks. Beth told him to come up. She ran off.
Howard said that Beth has her computer up there in the kitchen and she's always doing the cat rescue thing. Robin said she saw him brushing the cats and it looks like he doesn't do a great job with that because they run of so much. Howard said maybe she should have her friends stay over at her house.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he has a regular bandana or a special one. Howard said he has an old do rag. He said he puts it around his nose and ties it up. He said all the mask is doing is protecting other people from your coughs. He said the mask catches the droplets. The caller said he was just checking. He said he wasn't sure.
The caller said he was watching the old Channel 9 shows and that's how he got to know him. He said that was a really good show. He said he must have been doing an amazing amount of writing to put that on after the radio show. Howard said it was crazy.
The caller asked who did the make up and stuff. Howard said he will tell the whole story. He said it was a very small crew back then. He said WOR approached him to do a show. He said he was doing a radio show and then it was him, Jackie and Fred writing the show. He said it was so much work. He said they'd write a sketch for the guests and then the guests would find out it was Howard Stern and cancel. He said they were going to have Nichelle Nichols on the show and they wrote a sketch for her but she backed out so they went out and got someone off the street to play the part.
Howard said Ralph did the masks and makeup on the show. The caller said he did a really good job. Howard said he did tremendous work for having no budget. He said they were up against Saturday Night Live and they were able to beat Saturday Night Live in the ratings.
Howard said they did a Christmas show where they had Dan Forman as baby Jesus and Cheech and Chong were the two wise men with him. The caller said they did a great bit with Gary's teeth hydrator. Howard said he had a remote for that so he could water down his teeth and gums.
Howard said they spent a lot of time working on that show. He said it was too much work so he left it. Gary said they shot the show on Saturdays for a while. He said that Christmas show aired in July because they weren't able to get clearance. He said they had so many arguments about it and they finally let it air in July. Howard said it was funny and everyone had to see it.
Howard thanked the caller for the call. He said he still talks to Dan Forman. He said he works for CBS. Gary said he's the news editor over there at CBS. Robin said she used to have lunch or dinner with Dan. She said the night she missed Amy Schumer at the Comedy Cellar she was out with Dan.
Howard said that show was a lot of work. He said to say he was a workaholic is putting it mildly.
Howard said Gary walked in on Robin in her dressing room once. Robins said there were no dressing rooms. She said she had her back to the door and Gary just walked in. Gary said he just remembers her trying to cover up three things with just 2 hands. Howard asked what he saw. Gary said he saw her butt in the mirror. Howard asked if Gary beat off to that. Gary said he did not.
Howard said he has so much more to do but they've done enough. He said he was going to play a phony phone call but he may do that tomorrow. He said it's Harrison Ford flying his plane into someone's house on Swap Shop. He said Robin needs to hear this. He said they also want to hear Sour Shoes doing his Gary impression during quarantine. Howard said they'll do that tomorrow. They ended the show around 10:20am.
Howard started the show taking a call from a guy who asked how he's doing. Howard said morning radio is completely different now. He said their stats say since there is no morning drive now they could start the show later but he chooses to be up early with the people. He said he really has to get up early to beat his neighbors to the internet. He said they wake up and it fucks it all up. Howard said they will continue to do the show early.
Robin asked if that will ever get fixed. Howard said they're working on it to get a better connection. He said they don't have fiber optics out there. He said for now they have to respond to the way his neighbors use the internet. He said he thinks that he'd continue to do it this early no matter what though. He said this is about as pleasant as he can be during the day. He said the rest of the day goes down.
Howard said the area he's in doesn't have great internet. He said it's not like dial-up but it's not great. Howard said this is him at his best. He said if he did it at noon or 1 you'd be turned off to who he is. Howard said his wife is on the roof holding an antenna to help with the signal. He said they get maximum height that way.
The caller said he works out in this shit every day and puts his life in danger. He said having Howard on the radio helps out a lot. He said they had this restaurant out there in Colorado and they had a 2 hour wait line with no one wearing masks. He said that pisses him off. Howard said he was very aware of that restaurant. He said it really upset him too. He said this is a big fuck you kind of thing. He said the restaurant was packed with assholes. He said they really don't get it.
Howard said Rand Paul was treating Dr. Fauci like crap. He said no one wants to believe the facts. He said Rand said that he wasn't the be all and end all and Fauci said he never was. He said he's just trying to help people. He said Rand Paul was hired to represent his state and people are putting their faith in him. Robin said he had Coronavirus and he won't wear a mask because he doesn't think he can get it again. Howard said the caller should be pissed about that.
Howard said they think that kids can't get this virus but it turns out they can get something called Kawasaki disease. He said he saw that and figured that the motorcycle guys are in a panic when they heard that. He said people are so dopey that they stopped drinking Corona beer when Coronavirus came around.
Howard said there are people who don't want to be locked down in quarantine so they run around with guns trying to take back their state or something. He said there were like 12 of these guys running around with guns. Robin wondered if they have jobs. She said she's not sure who would want to work with them.
Howard said here are a bunch of dumb fucks in this country. He said they should join the military if they want to run around with guns. Robin said Trevor Noah said that they want to do everything for their country but wear a mask.
The caller said he figures that Gary is the luckiest guy in the world for having seen Robin naked. Howard said they didn't pay him for a year after that because it was such a bonus. Robin said he looked like he didn't mean to do it. Howard said he's very lucky. He said they call him the luckiest guy on the planet. Howard said Robin secretly liked it. Robin said sure she did.
The caller said he was imagining Robin playing that thing like a banjo. Howard asked why she'd do that. The caller said she could have been pleasuring herself. Howard said he's right and she got caught and Gary jumped on top of her.
Howard said he hired a sketch artist to draw what Gary described Robin looking like. He said he has that hanging over the fireplace. He said he masturbates to that every night. Fred played a clip of Robin moaning while they talked about that. He played a banjo clip too.
Howard said he thinks President Trump is going to call in and then they'll get to a phony phone call and more. He said he has an update on Underdog and Debbie the Cum Lady. Robin said they haven't talked about her in years. Robin wondered if she's having trouble finding a supply. Howard said they'll find out all the answers today.
Howard said he has always been about making friends with celebrities. He said he never wanted to be around regular people. Trump said he should apologize for that. He said all he's doing is making the country great.
Trump said that Howard is working from home and not from the nice studio he used to have so the show must be failing. Howard said there are now over a million cases of COVID-19 around the country. Trump said that used to be a great number. He said they used to call that a platinum record when they sold that many records. He said they've gone platinum with COVID-19. He thinks that's a good thing. Robin said that's what you call spin.
Howard asked if he's happy with his Coronavirus team. Trump said that Mike Pence is doing great things and working very hard. He said he's almost putting in 40 hours a week. He said he's not happy about Birx and Fauci. He said he thinks they need more beautiful people like they had on E.R. or Grey's Anatomy. He said they need motivation in this country. He said he wants to see beautiful people when he turns on the TV.
Howard said Mike Pence's press secretary got COVID and a couple of other people around him got it. He said he has to be concerned about that. Trump said they're not concerned and they have great tests. He talked about Stephen Miller being there and the great things he's doing for them.
Howard asked Trump to explain the plan to open the country to him. He said he doesn't think they should. Trump said that they are in New York and that's not a great place to open up but there are other areas that they could open. He said what they want them to do is have unprotected and free sex to have a baby boom. He said they're brilliant people who love Trump. He said they'll have very smart MAGA people who drink Mountain Dew. He said when he's running for his 6th term they'll be eligible to vote so they can keep this going. Howard said that is a plan.
Howard said he wanted to wish Melania a happy birthday. He said she turned 50. Trump said that you don't celebrate a personal tragedy. He said that's like celebrating 9/11. He said it might not be the worst day of his life but he never thought he'd be married to a 50 year old woman. Howard said it is kind of hard to believe. He said he's always with the hottest chicks.
Trump said he was with a friend who died of Coronavirus and he told him when he heard that Melania was turning 50 that he wouldn't trade places with him. He said he knew it was bad then. Howard said he can't dump her now because that would be terrible. Robin tried to ask something and Trump asked what Brown Sugar was trying to say. Howard said that's insulting.
Howard said he could leave Melania now and find someone younger. Trump said if he gets divorced while he's president that would be breaking another norm. He said that he could get a hotter wife while he's president.
Howard asked if he can imagine if he was single how much pussy he'd be getting. Trump said at the MAGA rallies they bring their 19 year old daughters and ask him to give his presidential juices. He said most of the time he says he's married and he has to decline.
Howard said he must be suffering more than people with Coronavirus since he has a 50 year old wife. Trump said he is. He said he's trying to be tough for the people. Howard said he feels sorry for him. He said it has to be torture for him being locked down like he is. Trump said he loved grabbing pussy and it was a beautiful thing. He said he can't do it literally or metaphorically do it. He said it's sad.
Howard said he heard he told Melania to not wash her hands and touch her face even more. Trump said he doesn't think that she has built up her whore immunity.
Howard said he knows he has tweeting to do so he'll let him go soon. He said this whole thing must be making it tough to campaign. Trump said that the Coronavirus task force things let people see him battle with the fake news. He said they see him with his strong leadership.
Trump said that they're going to have rallies and they will do great. He said Sleepy Joe won't be a problem.
Howard asked if he has been in touch with Kim Jong Un. Trump said he's one of the toughest people. He said he has spoken to him and he has great energy. He said he wants him to get it back. He said he has never seen anyone with that much energy in a rape room. He said you realize nothing will beat him. He said they'd have to shoot him with an aircraft carrier gun like he did with his uncle.
Trump told Howard that he has to stop with the bashing of him and trying to play up to the libs and the Dems. Howard said he can see why 40 percent of the country supports him. He let him go a short time later.
Robin said she thinks he would have stayed with the show the whole morning if they didn't let him go. Howard said he did seem like he could go on for a long time.
Howard said it's in the news that Harrison Ford crossed a runway while a plane was trying to land. He said they have the recording of Ford and the air traffic controller. He said it's kind of hard to understand but it sounds like Harrison is mumbling. He played the clip for Robin. Ford misunderstood the air traffic controller and flew over the runway.
Howard said this inspired the guys to make a phony phone call to Swap and Shop (Tradio). Howard said they had their Harrison Ford impersonator do the call. He said that they must not get any calls there because nothing seemed to phase this guy. He said Ford is looking for fuel for his plane in this call. Howard played the call and Harrison said he was almost out of fuel and he needs someone listening to get him more. The host went along with that and let him get in his request. Harrison called in a second time to ask the listeners to let him land on their roof. The host went along with that too. A woman called in and said he can land in her back yard. She said she sees the plane now. Harrison crash landed in her yard while she was on the line with the Tradio guy. They played Indiana Jones music to play Harrison off. He had Chewie with him too. The host said that's what their listeners are willing to do there on Tradio.
Howard said he likes that Harrison carries his own music around with him for when he lands.
Howard said JD has a crush on the weather lady on Good Morning America. JD said her name is Ginger Zee. Howard asked what he likes about her. JD said she's hot. JD said she has great eyes and a nice face. He said he has to see what she was wearing. He said he has it on today because of George. He said she showed up and looked good. Howard asked if he ever finds himself looking for pictures of her. JD laughed and said not lately but when he first discovered her he did.
Howard asked if today there's a 70 percent chance of jerking off in today's forecast. Jason said he has a picture of her to share. Howard had him do that. Howard said she is good looking. He said her top is see through. Robin said she's covering up under that top though. Howard asked what her background is. JD said he doesn't know that much about her. He said she's just hot. Howard asked how old she is. JD looked her up and found out she's 39.
Howard said he was reading about JD and how he believes we're living in an alien simulation. JD said he doesn't believe that but he has thoughts. He said he read something about that and that put the thought in his head so he does think about it from time to time. He said he doesn't believe this but it's thoughts that he's had. Howard said just read the whole article and don't skim through it. JD said he did skim through the article because a lot of it went over his head. Howard said maybe he's smoking too much weed. JD said he's not smoking that much.
JD said he's not High Register Sean and believing this stuff. Howard said he sees those articles and he thinks they're just a load of crap. JD said he just thinks about life and if there's a god and then he thinks that maybe we're a game or something. Robin asked how often he thinks about that. JD said he thinks about death every day. He said it's not a regular thing that he's thinking about.
Howard said he heard that JD is very brave. He said he caught a mouse in his apartment and disposed of it. JD said they got it in a trap so yeah. He said his wife actually picked up the trap. Howard said he knew he was a pussy just like him. He said Beth has to do that stuff too. JD said he didn't say he's never done that. He said he did it a while ago. Howard said sure he did.
Robin said she thought JD really did something brave. JD said it's one of those traps that you don't see what happens to the mouse. He said you just throw it out in the trash. Robin said he wasn't able to do it himself. JD said in this case he did. Howard asked why he didn't do it. JD said that's just the way it happened. Howard said Beth is the man in his relationship. He said he's not touching that.
Howard said JD also celebrated Star Wars on May the 4th. He said they watched Star Wars together that night. JD said they did. Howard told JD to pay attention to him because he's looking away. JD said he was getting notifications on his watch thing. JD said they did watch Star Wars because his wife is a big fan. Howard said they made a Star Wars recipe too. JD said they did that too. Howard said that's really dorky. They made some kind of salad that they serve at the Star Wars Disney thing. Howard said they made a Star Wars drink that the both thought was disgusting. JD said they did that too. He said it made his wife happy so he did it.
Howard asked why they did it on May 4th. JD said that's what they call Star Wars day because it sounds like ''May the force be with you.''
Howard said JD's wife went to the Star Wars park without him. JD said that was a scheduled trip and he had to stay home because their schedule changed. He said he will go with her when the theme parks open up again. Howard said he's bankrolling a lot of vacations. JD said she has her own job so he didn't have to bankroll that.
Howard said JD paid the rent while she went to Disney. JD said she pays the rent too. Howard said do what you have to do over there. Howard said don't worry about that computer simulation thing. He said we're not in one. He said he can take his word on that.
Ronnie said you can see that he has that video game going in the background. JD said he has Good Morning America on. Ronnie had something going on with his microphone so it slowed his voice down. JD was cracking up at it. Howard asked if he's playing video games. JD said no. He said it's Good Morning America.
Howard had Ronnie say something with his microphone and it had his voice really low so they were all cracking up at it. Howard said they're trying to get the key people on the show a good microphone so they got one for Ronnie. He said he's not sure what's going on there. Ronnie tried to change something but it didn't do anything. Howard said his voice sounds slow and deep. Ronnie said that's weird. Howard said it sounds kind of sexy. JD told him to do a sex tip. Ronnie talked about using a vibrator on that clit. Everyone was laughing at the voice.
Howard had Ronnie say a few things in that voice. He said Ronnie was in the fan Feedback too. He said a lot of people wrote in about him and Anderson Cooper. He read through some of that. He had some about Ronnie taking over the happy hour thing. He said a lot of people were with him. Ronnie said he's hearing his voice now. He said it sounds funny. Howard asked Gary how this is possible. Gary said they sent Ronnie the equipment and they were going to set it up today after the show. Ronnie said Stephanie set it up. Gary said the engineers have no idea how it's happening. Howard asked if he jizzed on it. Ronnie said he didn't do it on the equipment. He said they did their vibrator play and all of that last night though. He said it's that time of month.
Howard asked if he did the thing where he sticks his dick in her ass cheeks. Ronnie said he did the tip he gave Jimmy. Howard asked if he thinks Jimmy is doing that tip. Ronnie said he has it all wrong. He described how they lay there and do their thing.
Howard said next time he does it take a video so he can see it. Ronnie said sure. Howard asked if he can see her tampon string hanging out. Ronnie said no. Howard asked if she tucks it in. Ronnie said the vibrator covers it.
Howard read some feedback about Ronnie and one fan said he thinks that Ronnie is trying to get Coronavirus so Stephanie has an out. He read the details in that email. Howard had some fans don't want Ronnie to retire. Ronnie said he was talking about that. He said that he could still do this if he does retire.
Howard read more feedback about Ronnie and how he ruins the happy hour thing and then he makes people apologize and beg him to come back. Ronnie said he didn't ask anyone to apologize.
Howard said they had many people commenting on Ronnie. He said he's a professional victim. He said Jason said it reminds him of his mother. Jason said that he does make it out like he's a victim. He said that he ends up apologizing for the thing he was upset about in the first place. Ronnie said okay. Howard said he doesn't seem to care. Howard told Ronnie to go fix his microphone. Ronnie said it sounded fine last night. Howard let him go and said they'll get back to him.
Howard got Shuli on and asked about contacting Underdog. Shuli said he gave Underdog his number and he's opened the door to her. He said she calls him a lot now. Howard asked if he has to scramble to record. Shuli said he was giving his daughter a bath the other day when she called. He said you have to ride it out and pick the right spot. Howard asked if he can ask her to let him call her. Shuli said there are days he can do that but other days she has a panic attack if he asks to call her back.
Howard said Underdog is happy to hear from Shuli. He said this is the happiness she has. Howard played a clip where Underdog heard from Shuli and she sounded very happy to hear from him. Shuli said she has her TV on full blast all the time. Howard asked if she'll turn it down. Shuli said sometimes she will and sometimes she just says no.
Howard said Shuli asked Underdog if she's wearing a mask when she goes out. Howard played the clip and Underdog said she has some in her pocket but she won't wear it unless she goes inside somewhere or interacts with someone. She said she has soap and water with her instead of hand sanitizer. Underdog paused and said she's watching Dennis the Menace. Howard said that's like from 50 years ago. Shuli said she always asks him to speak up but she won't turn her TV down. Shuli said she's been on a big Dennis the Menace kick lately.
Howard said Shuli asked Underdog how long the pandemic will last. He played a clip and Underdog said she's afraid the longer it lasts the longer she is without work and paychecks. She said she will have to borrow money from other people. She said she was supposed to go to a parade next month but that has been called off.
Howard said Underdog thinks that this pandemic is a master plan by god called Garabandal. Shuli did his impression of her talking about that. Howard played a clip of her talking about this Garabandal thing. She said it's the great warning. She went into detail about that.
Howard had Shuli do his impression of Underdog a bit and then played more of Underdog talking more about Garabandal and what it means. She said there will be a great miracle coming and it will be on a Thursday during an unknown month.
Robin said this sounds like a great movie. Howard said this feels like the punishment to him. He said he we may have missed the warning and the miracle. He said this seems pretty awful to him. Howard talked to Shuli as Underdog for a short time. Shuli had her talking about this Garabandal thing.
Howard said even more fascinating than Underdog Lady is Debbie the Cum Lady. He said he has to take a break first and get to George. He said he'll end the show with Debbie after George. He said wait until you hear this. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said George Stephanopoulos is on with them. He gave him some plugs for his Good Morning America show. Howard said he wanted him to run for president. George said he's sorry he wasn't able to make that happen. Howard said he thought it was a great idea. He asked if he talked it over with his family. George said his family talked it over with him but he thought it was a joke. He said he just didn't see in the cards. He said he didn't see a viable path.
Howard asked if he has been approached to run for office. George said he has thought about it. He said that Bill Clinton was kind of out there too. He said no one thought he'd get elected. George said there have been many like that. He said Bill Clinton saw an opening that others didn't see and he became President.
Howard asked if he saw from the start that he was going to win. George said he was in between. He said he saw how tough it could be running against Bush. He said that he saw how interesting Bill was. He said Bill had it all mapped out in his head.
Howard said he found it interesting that he took a whole year of his life and devoted his life to this one candidate. He said he could have wasted his time doing that. George said everything has risk associated with it. He said working on a presidential campaign can be a big deal. He said that he couldn't imagine doing anything more exciting.
Howard said he was promoting the fact that he was coming on and said he's top dog over at Good Morning America. George said they're a team over there. He said most of the people are working from home and they're not all there. He said he heard JD mention that Ginger is on there.
Howard asked where he is now. George said he's in his office in Times Square. He said he just started back there on Monday. He said he was working out of the house for 5 weeks.
Howard said Allie told them that he had set up his whole rig in their living room. George said it was the dining room. Howard said close enough. Howard asked if it was a bit inconsiderate to set up in the room where the whole family is. He said why not go downstairs. George said they don't have quite the downstairs that Howard has. Howard said he has a nice place though. George said he didn't have quite enough light and the cable didn't work. He said it was a bit of a challenge in the morning. He said they have the kids and two dogs too. He said that's kind of hard to deal with.
Howard said he thinks Michael Strahan is good for him. He said George is the intellectual. He said he once recommended a book to him about a chess player. George said it was called ''All the Wrong Moves.'' Howard said he asked for more book suggestions and they were about quantum physics and things. Howard said they were way over his head. George said that the physics book was by a friend of his and it was moving and brilliant. Howard said he wanted to bond with George but he can't read a book about physics. He said what he did was put the book in a file for something to read if he's feeling intellectual. He said he told Beth about the book suggestion and he doesn't think he can handle it.
Howard said he thinks the turn on for George at Good Morning America is interviewing Trump and people like that. George said he talked to Biden yesterday. He said that they covered a lot of ground. He said his interviews are like speed chess while Howard's show is like the long game. Howard said it's not easy to do it the way George does it. He said it has to be weird to sit down with Stormy Daniels and hit her in the head with a question right away. George said it can be jarring to the audience too.
Howard said he's wondering about the audio cutting in and out on George. He said he wishes he could hear him better. George said they have good internet there. Howard said he thinks if he's closer to the microphone it might work better. George tried that.
Howard asked what it was like to have Coronavirus. George said working from home was the silver lining of the whole Coronavirus thing. He said that when he was broadcasting from out at home there was a 3 or 4 second delay. He said it's almost impossible to do an interview that way. He said that he may go back and forth to home and the city to work. Howard said he was thinking it might be driving him crazy working from home. He said he works harder than anyone he knows. George said he is home at night. He said being around everyone all day long was new for all of us. He said that it was great once they got used to it. He said he never saw the girls for breakfast before this.
Howard asked what his schedule is for Good Morning America. George said he gets up between 2:30 and 3 and he starts working then. He said he works until 9 and then takes a break. He said he will keep an eye on news throughout the day. He said he also works 32 Sundays out of the year.
Howard said Michael Strahan takes care of all of the fluff on the show. George said he does a lot of the entertainment interviews. He said Michael has interviewed a lot of CEOs lately. He said they mix it up over there. Howard said he figures that George is out if they want to interview Justin Bieber.
Howard said they were talking about a new host for Jeopardy and he thought of George immediately. He said he has the intellectual capacity. He asked if he can answer most of the questions. George said not all of them. Howard asked if he would consider taking over Jeopardy. He said Alex Trebek is making more money doing that than what George is doing. George said that would be fun but he likes doing what he's doing. Howard asked if he would want to do it. George said he would think about it. Howard said he's dancing on Alex Trebek's grave already. Howard said breaking news, George Stephanopoulos is the new host of Jeopardy. He said that has a nice ring to it.
George said that half of his crew are huge fans of his. He said he hears about this kind of stuff right away when he talks about it. He said it's very flattering. He said those are big shoes to fill. Howard said maybe he's interested. George said he appreciates him looking out for him.
Howard said they are friends off the air and they have had dinner together. He said he doesn't understand how he became the host of Good Morning America. He said they knew him as the Clinton press secretary. He asked how he made that jump. George said it was something he had never thought about. He said he's been there at ABC for 22 years now. He started out as a political analyst and they asked him to be a reporter starting in 1997. He said in 2009 there were all of these changes at the network and they came to him asking him to host and he said no at first. He said after a few months of thinking about it he took the leap. He said it's turned out great. He said he still gets to do the stuff he cares about.
Howard asked if he ever thought about doing this as a kid. George said not at all. Howard said there's no training for it either so it's a risk for the network. George said that's true. He said he hadn't done anchoring before. He said he didn't have a lot of practice either. He said he'd like to look at the early tapes to see how he did. Howard asked if he studied anyone. George said he was immersed in the world already and he knew how the business worked. He said he had to work on some things like projecting 30 percent more than you think you are. He said you have to learn how to interview and it just takes time. He said you have to learn how to use a teleprompter. He said that he doesn't use it much but you have to use it a lot to get good at it.
Howard asked if they put an ear piece in his head when he's broadcasting. George said they do have to give you time cues and things like that. He said he finds it hard to take direction while he's working. He said he doesn't use the ear piece that much on the air. He said it's used during the breaks more.
Howard asked who the guy was who suggested him for the job at Good Morning America. George said it was David Westin. He said that he kept saying no but David kept asking him to do it. He said he was scared to do it but it was worth the risk. He said they had to move to New York to do it but it was worth the move.
Howard said the thing he didn't answer was if he left the Clinton administration because of the Monica Lewinsky thing. George said that didn't come out until after he had left so no. He said that really didn't have anything to do with why he left. Howard asked if he was just burned out. George said his job was senior advisor and a lot of his job was crisis management and it can burn you out and exhaust you. He said it was time for him to leave.
Howard asked George about saying he had depression when he left. He asked if he had to see a psychiatrist. George said yes. He said he started in the White House and went for a couple of years. He said it was wearing on him and he was feeling better by the time he left. He said he kept seeing someone for years after that.
Howard asked if he would have considered taking a corporate kind of job. George said he wouldn't want to lobby. He said that's the one thing he didn't want to do. He said he wanted to be involved in politics and public policy but he wasn't sure how he'd do it.
Howard asked if he's still in touch with Bill Clinton. George said they don't talk on the phone or anything like that. Howard said he thought he would be in touch. George said he couldn't have thought that. George said he wasn't happy about the Monica Lewinsky thing. He said that was such a waste and he was upset by that.
Howard asked if he has to watch what he says when he's talking to someone like Biden when he has political leanings. George said not at all. He said you have to do your job and he did ask questions about Tara Reed and things like that. He said everyone has political leanings in one way or another. He said he has to be fair.
Howard asked if he has people who get upset with him about his politics. George said he tries to avoid all of that but he got one that was very vile and surprisingly shocking in a one line email. He said that he can't even say what it said. Howard said why not. He said he wants to hear the ugliness. George said he can't do it. Howard asked why not. George said the language is offensive. Howard said it must be pretty bad. He said Allie knows how to handle that stuff. George said she and the girls had the same reaction to it. He said that people can say what they want as long as there's no direct threat. He said there's not much to be done.
Howard said things seem like they're right on the edge and they try not to threaten your life but it's vicious.
George said about 2 years ago that guy who was sending letter bombs to journalists and they had two FBI agents show up and tell them that he was on the said of the truck the guy drove.
Howard said George's father and grandfather were priests. He said that they must have wanted him to do that too. He said they must be shocked about what he's doing. George said they're fine with it.
Howard asked George to get closer to the microphone again. He said he lost his voice again. He said it's a weird connection and he doesn't want to lose him.
Howard asked George about wrestling in high school. He said he would wrap himself in plastic to make weight. George said he did. He said he wrestled at 98 pounds and then 105. He said he was getting close to 120 and it was water weight so he had to get rid of it somehow. He said it was just ounces of weight though. Howard said that's funny that they let him do that back then. He said that would never happen today.
Howard said he thinks he has a great marriage. He said that their kids are great and Allie is great. He said there's no scandal there so he'd be great in the White House. He said this is what he was looking for.
Howard said he and Beth were talking the other night about setting people up with. Howard said Allie would be the last person he'd think of setting him up with. He said it's an unlikely couple. George said they met in April of 2001 and they were married by November of that year. He said they haven't looked back. Howard said there have to be people who sit you down and say you're going too fast and you have to put more thought into it. George said they were telling him he had to make it happen because he was getting close to his sell by date.
Howard said it seems against his way to get engaged after just 2 months. George said that's the beauty of it. He said they were set up by an old girlfriend of his and some other friends. He said they had lunch together at Fred and Barney's. Howard said he had a good dating history. He asked if he's right about that. George said sure. Howard said he's handsome and a good catch.
Howard asked if it was love at first sight. George said he thinks it was. Howard said back in the day he was a sex symbol. He said on Friends they said they fantasized about him being naked. George said he didn't see that coming so that was a big day in his life. He said he was at the gym one night and he had a lot of people trying to get in touch with him when they saw that on Friends. Howard said he's thinking about him nude and he hopes to see that some day. Howard said he would love to have them write something like that into Friends.
Howard asked if he had to see Allie after going to lunch. George said that they saw each other the next night and then she was going away with her mother and sister the next night. He said things moved fast. Howard asked how he proposed. He said he wants to know how a Rhodes scholar proposes. He had to ask what a Rhodes scholar is. George explained that to him.
Howard asked if he has a hard time in a room with people who have lower IQ. He asked if he has had his IQ tested. George said when he was a kid. He said he had a pretty high IQ. Robin asked why people are embarrassed by that. Howard said if he had a high score he'd be talking about it right now. George said it's probably not even true anymore. Howard said it's basic intelligence and it doesn't go away. George said he's sure he wouldn't do as well today as he did as a kid. He said he doesn't remember the number but it was below 160. Howard asked how low below. George laughed. Howard said he'd be considered a genius. George said not at all.
Howard said to be that intelligent must make it draining to deal with some of the dummies on Good Morning America. George said not at all. He said Good Morning America exposes you to everything and all facets of life. Howard asked if he ever has to be told to dumb it down a bit for the audience. George said no but he is told not to get into the weeds of an issue. He said he thinks that's fair.
Howard asked if he just says hello to Lara Spencer and Michael Strahan and walks away. George said not at all.
Howard said this is fascinating. He said he's bragging about his high IQ there. He said he might be smarter than Alex Trebek.
Howard said George asked Trump when he was going to be impeached and asked if he would take information from a foreign government. He said Trump said of course he'd take a look at it. He said that he told him that he could be compromised. George said he told him he was wrong. He said that they learned that all of this Ukraine stuff was going on for weeks and that tape became some of the evidence. Howard asked if he thought he was going to have to resign after that interview. George said he did think in the moment that he was revealing something that you just can't believe what's happening. He said he wondered if the tape was not going to get out. He said that was about the biggest piece of news for weeks.
Howard said this is a shocking development. He said his wife Allie is on the phone. Howard picked up and Allie said that she's curious about him downplaying their first date. She said that she was very reluctant to go on a date with him. George said he talked about how things went. She said that he was like a pit bull on a chew toy with her. She said she didn't shave her legs on that first date. She said she never thought she'd end up with George. She said she figured Hugh Grant or someone like that. She said she thought they'd talk about what was in the news. George said by the end of the lunch he knew that this was it. Allie said he could have added a few things that made it sound better than he did. Howard said he gets that. He said it would be nice if he wasn't so controlled. He said he could have talked about how he almost fell off his chair when he met her. He said he thinks he doesn't like to show too much emotion.
Allie said he knows every word could be taken out of context. She said that when they talk about their love story he could tell the story about grabbing his heart on his second date with her when she walked down the stairs. George said his heart skipped a beat. Howard said George isn't that kind of guy. Allie said she shouldn't have to punch up his love story. Howard said she's right.
Howard said he wanted to hear the love story because they're an unlikely couple. Howard said he figured he'd talk about her in a way they had never heard. He said he was more like a UN Ambassador talking about her.
Howard asked if it's intimidating to be married to someone so smart. Allie said not really because he's smart about 80 percent of things in the world but with 20 percent he's not. She said that he forgets his keys and things like that. She said she has to fix things that break in the house.
Howard said he has brought up how much sex they have and Allie says that it's every single night. Howard said that blows people's minds. Robin said the pandemic must be getting in the way. Allie said that it is. She said she was sick for awhile and no one wanted to get near her. She said that she thinks not everyone feels sexy right now.
Howard said George had Coronavirus and he was completely a-symptomatic. George said that this was about 7 weeks ago when he did feel tired and had horrible pain in his back and kidneys. He said that lasted over night. He said he lost his sense of smell for a day a few days later. He said that was it. He said those things are things that are symptoms. Howard said it must be weird to lose your sense of smell. George it really is. He said Allie had it really tough. He said she was in bed for 3 weeks basically. He said she was sleeping 16 or more hours a day. He said it was hard to breathe and she was achy.
Howard asked if she's fully recovered. Allie said she is. She said that she has the antibodies. She said that when someone is sick and the other person isn't then it can block the intimacy. Howard said it figures that she's suffering and he's not. He said that's the way George's life goes.
Howard asked if George feels like he's blessed. George said he is very happy now. He said he has Allie and the girls.
Howard said he thinks they do have a great love affair and he wants to thank her for calling in. He said he gets that she wants him to talk more about her out in the press.
Howard said when George and Allie get into a fight it can affect his job. George said that it can. Howard said he did an interview with an anti-vaxxer. George said he didn't let up on that guy for a full 7 minutes. He said it was fueled by the fight they had. Howard said this guy was Dr. Andrew Wakefield. He said this guy got raked over the coals.
Howard said it seems like people were tracking what he was doing when he was sick. George said he was wearing a mask and all of that but people were following him. He said he isn't surprised by that. He said he has learned that you have to take the good with the bad when you're in public life.
Howard said this was fun. Robin said it looks like George has had a hair cut. George said he got it cut in the studio when they had makeup people there. He said he was looking pretty shaggy. Howard said he's letting his freak flag fly with his hair. He said it's very complex so only certain people can touch it.
Howard said he's losing his connection again with George. He asked if he thinks this will be over any time soon. He said they say that one in four people won't take the vaccine when they get one. George said he's not expecting this to be over any time soon. He said you read about it every day and the more you feel you know about it the less you find out you know. He said no one really knows how it's going to go. He said we all have to be very careful and cautious. He said you hope that things will go fast and we'll have a vaccine within a year. He said we have to take care of each other.
Howard said he is very frustrated with everything going on. He said he imagines that he's upset with the federal government. He said they keep saying that anyone can get a test but that's just not true. George said we did lose a moment when the calls came into the CDC from the WHO in early January. He said the ban on travel from China didn't happen. He said that most of the cases came from Europe though. He said that they did miss out on an opportunity to cut back on it and tamping down on it if they had done something more quickly. Howard said most of the people who could have done something were either fired or left the administration. George said there were breakdowns in state and local government. He said we did miss a moment earlier in the year to stop the worst from happening.
Howard asked if he's shocked that so many people still support the President. George said we're very divided right now and his supporters are still there. He said both sides see things through their political lens. He said it's frightening. Howard said he's never seen this kind if division. He said that Trump thinks that people are blaming him if the numbers go up. He said he has to stop that. He said that he just has to tell people what to do and they have to do it. George said we did come together during the time after 9/11 but it's not happening now.
Howard said this is a brand new thing and science doesn't have concrete answers. George said when they're honest about it people don't want to believe it.
Howard asked George about having to deal with both sides on Good Morning America. He said he can't be overly critical of the president. George said he is conscious of that but what he tries to do is concentrate on things he does know. He said if something comes out that's not true he'll call it out. He said it's not his job to be political on the show.
Howard said when the President says that anyone can get tested he knows that's not true because he has friends who can't get tested. George said that kind of thing they will call out.
Howard thanked George for coming on today. He said he has to get back to his beautiful wife. He said that he hosts Good Morning America and he is on at 7am. He gave him plugs for that and his Sunday morning show. He said he also wants to take over Jeopardy. He said he showed how smart he is. He said he hopes to see him soon. He said it'll probably be 2 years before he gets out of the house though. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said they learned that he kind of loves his wife. He said he hopes his connection was good enough that people can understand what he was saying. He said he was muffled for some reason. Robin said you'd think they'd have good equipment over at Good Morning America.
Howard said he gets so frustrated with the way things work during this pandemic. He said he was getting upset but he thinks that people understand that's the way things have to be right now. Robin said she was shocked that he stayed the course. Howard said he hopes everyone could hear what he was saying.
Howard said Allie is so great. Ralph said she really is. He said he spoke to her at a party Howard had before he was banned from his house. He said she was great to talk to. Howard said he had to ban Ralph from his house. He said he doesn't think that he'll ever take that ban off of Ralph. He said he will offend your guests and do shit that's completely nuts. Ralph said he can't disagree with the ban. He said that things got nuts. Howard said he thought he had an excuse but he's really just an asshole. He said he can be alone with him but not with him in his house.
Howard said he thought Rob Zombie was going to beat his head into the ground. Ralph said he hadn't eaten anything all day and he started drinking and it was horrible. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel said to him that Ralph sat down and said that Molly would be better off fucking Ralph. Ralph laughed. Howard said maybe keep that to yourself. Ralph said he woke up and didn't have any memory of that happening. He said they were having breakfast and people were looking at him funny. He said Jimmy asked when he decided to become Foster Brooks. He said he thought that was a great reference.
Howard said he remembers back then sitting with Rob Zombie and Sherri Moon and said he was thinking about inviting Ralph. He said they felt funny talking about it. He said they took a vote and the vote wasn't unanimous to have him come. He said he thinks Molly was going back and forth an went for having him there. Howard said after he insulted Jimmy she said she has no one to blame since she voted to have him there.
Howard said Molly and Allie are the two funniest people he knows. He said Ralph really blew it. Ralph said it is a regret. Howard said he can't have him over anymore. He said he has proven to him that he can't be trusted. Howard said things were so bad. Ralph said they were so bad he didn't even understand it. Ralph said it was so bad the next morning when he realized what had gone on. He said he did suffer. Howard said now he sits home and insults the wall.
Howard said he found out that Ralph had vomited into the laundry and he had to pick out carrots and things. He said that this can't be happening to him.
Howard asked if he was able to hear George today. Ralph said he was and he loves that show he does on Sunday too. Howard told him to get back to insulting his wall now. He let Ralph go a short time later.
Howard said he always has a good smile on his face even when he fucks up. He said he's not sure what he was on but he got lost in the middle of the night trying to find his house and he was out in the street screaming his name. He said they've had their issues.
Howard took a call from Balls who said he loves Allie and George together. Howard said she's so great and funny and lovely. He said she has a great relationship with his wife. He said watching Allie and George together is great. He said they have a great love story in there somewhere. He said that he asks them every time to hear their love story and he knew that Allie was going to call in when he started telling his side.
Howard said George and Allie have great kids too. He said they have one daughter, Elliot, who is so fun to talk to. He said that he has talked to her about Olivia Jade. He said they have fun talking and she's such a nice kid. Howard let Balls go after that.
Howard said this woman loves to drink any guy's cum. Robin said she would show up on Wall Street and she'd just take anyone's cum. Sal said she is burned into his mind since the first time she was on the show. He said they played a game with her on the show. Howard said it was the Biggest Whore Contest. He said she's not a porn star or a stripper but she's addicted to cum. He said she won the contest. Sal said it was a landslide.
Howard said Debbie claimed that she needs cum to fight depression. Howard said Sal called to find out how she's doing. Howard played a clip of Debbie talking about what she's doing now. She said she used to meet people in parking lots before they go to work. She said she would do 8 or 9 in a day. Howard said she's an attractive lady. He said this is like Popeye eating spinach. He said she wanted to blow High Pitch Erik at one point. Sal said she's obsessed with him. He said she talked about it with him.
Howard said she talked about what she's doing now. He played a clip of Debbie talking about how hard it is to get her cum now. She said she is able to get guys now that people are getting out in Florida.
Howard said this is incredible. He said they asked if she's willing to pay for cum. He played a clip of her talking about how she'd pay $400 for a condom full. She said she called a sperm bank once to ask if she can buy it. She said you can't do that.
Robin asked where this money comes from that she has. She said she's buying the guys dinner and taking the to hotel rooms. Howard said she could get people out of debt. Howard said Sal must have been going nuts over this. Sal said he almost slid away to the bathroom while he was talking to her.
Howard asked if Sal is beating off during this pandemic. Sal said once a day. Howard said they asked if she'd risk getting Coronavirus to get her cum. He played a clip of her saying she would risk it. She said that she's young and she'd be able to fight it. Sal asked if the guy she blew recently was wearing a mask. She said she wasn't and he wasn't. She said if it happens, it happens. Howard said this is some exclusive.
Howard said he thinks he heard Sal beating off in the background to his. Fred played a clip of someone beating off. Sal said that's about right.
Howard played another clip where Debbie talked about never running into anyone who was trouble. She said that if she does end up in a dumpster then it was her time. Robin asked if she's married with kids or anything. Howard said they might have to air that special again so Robin can be refreshed. Sal said he doesn't think she was married.
Robin asked if she was born this way. Sal said he thinks she was. He said she gets tattoos of penises on her body. He said she was turning him on with all of these stories.
Howard said people complain that this show is too political. He said this is what it is all about.
Howard said Sal thinks she was bit by a cum filled spider and that's how she got her powers. He said he loves when she says she has to get a load. Sal said she says she's in a depression until she gets a load. He said his wife is the opposite. He said when she gets a load she gets depressed. He said he understands it because it's him she's with.
Howard said he heard an update about Sal's dad Tony. He heard he's been stealing steaks from the super market. Sal said he did and it's so embarrassing. He said a woman forgot her steaks in a bag and the cashier yelled to the woman but she didn't hear. He said his dad told the cashier it was his wife and he'll bring it to her. He took her steaks. He said that his dad went back and got himself some free hair spray too. He said his mother said she hopes he gets arrested for stealing the steaks. Howard said imagine a guy who thinks of a way of stealing hair spray during a pandemic. He said they can bet that Sal's mom isn't hoping to get a load of cum from Tony.
Howard said they're going to play Biggest Whore on Sternthology today. Sal said that's great.
Howard took a call from fake Tony Governale who was talking about all of the stuff he's stealing from the store. He was spraying his hair as he was talking to Howard. He was also telling Howard he has to mitigate to stop the virus. Mrs. Governale got on and yelled at him about stealing. Howard said it's a mad house over there. He said after hearing that it's no wonder he cheats on her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he would love to meet Debbie and donate to her during these tough times. Howard said he's sure a lot of guys would love to that but he's not a pimp.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who asked if Robin has gotten out of that friend visit she talked about yesterday. Robin said not yet. Mariann asked about how her foot is. Robin said it's much better. Mariann said that Howard has no idea how much he means to her. She said there are only 69 shows left on this contract.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks the show has been so great lately. He said his humor is spot on lately. He said he's loving it. Howard said maybe he's better from his basement. He said he's not going anywhere anytime soon. Robin said Twitter said their employees can work from home as long as they want. Howard said he does enjoy being home and not having to commute. He said who knows. He said if he has to stay home he'll stay home. He said they're sending Gary to work though.
Howard said next week they'll check in with David Spade and Jerry Seinfeld. He said that they'll find out how Jerry is doing. Robin said she is wondering how he's doing during this pandemic. Howard said you'll be shocked by his answers. He said that's a little tease for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he thinks Conan O'Brien would be a great host for Jeopardy. Howard said he thinks that he would be good. He said he might do it too. He said he is stuck on that network he's on now but he thinks that might be the revitalization of Conan. Sal said he'd vote yes on Conan. Robin agreed. Howard said he thinks most of America is wondering what Fred thinks. Howard asked Fred what he thinks about this idea. Fred said he thinks George is a better choice. He said he's not so much with Conan for that. Howard said he thinks Conan would be good if George won't do it. Fred said he's not going to go for that. Howard asked if he thinks his comedy would get in the way. Fred said he does. He said that George would not be joking around while Conan would. Robin said she's not sure he would be obnoxious. Fred said he's naturally funny and he wouldn't be able to keep it inside.
Howard said he has one of his neighbors on the phone. He took the call and the neighbor said it's time to end the show because he has to download files. He said he's trying to make bread and he can't read the recipe because of Howard. Howard said he sounded just like his neighbors.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who said he never thought of George Stephanopoulos to be the host of Jeopardy. Fred played some Hey Now clips that seemed to throw him off. Howard asked what he wanted to say. Mike said he loves hearing his politics but he's ruining the fan forums with all of the talk about Trump. He said you can't get them to get away from the discussion. Howard said he knows he's right. He said he's the King of All Media and what do they know?
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had an experience at a Walmart in the parking lot during this Coronavirus thing. He said he was having a conversation with a lady and it turned into a quickie in the parking lot. He said that they did it between their two cars in the parking lot. He said they didn't even take their masks off.
Howard asked Sal if he would do something like that. The caller said that it weighed on him for about 3 seconds and then he forgot about it. He said the whole thing was over in a couple of minutes. He said he never even got her number. He said she was the one who suggested it. Howard asked if she was hot. The caller said no. He said she wasn't hot. Sal said it was probably a dude.
Robin asked if the guy is in a relationship. He said he's married. Sal said that makes sense.
Howard took a call from someone claiming to be the woman who the guy banged. It was Chris Wilding doing a female voice that got really deep while he was talking. Howard had some fun with that for a minute and wrapped up with fake Karen.
The caller said he did wipe down his dick with a Clorox wipe when he was done. He said that did hurt. Howard asked if he thinks his wife will find out about this. The caller said he doesn't think she will but now he's thinking about how he's on a radio show talking about it. Sal said he's probably thinking about there being cameras in the parking lot. The caller, Tom, said he's thinking about it now. He said he did think about bringing home an STD to his wife too but they don't have sex all that often. He said the romance is out of the marriage a little bit. He said that doesn't mean he loves her any less.
Howard took a call from his neighbors again. They told him to get off the air so his kids can get into Zoom class.
Howard had Ralph back on the phone and said that has to be one of the greatest calls ever. He said that guy calls into a nationally popular radio show to announce what he did. He said that he agrees that George would be great as the Jeopardy host. He said Conan would be too goofy. Howard said Ralph spends a lot of time watching TV so he would know.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said we're doomed because of stupid people. He said he went to BJs the other day and people are required to wear masks and he counted at least 20 who weren't wearing them. Howard asked Bobo why he's not mad about Trump not wearing one. Bobo said he is mad about that. He said he doesn't know what people are thinking.
Howard asked Bobo puppet what he thinks about this. Fred did his Bobo Puppet thing for a short time.
Howard said you know the world is upside down when Bobo is making more sense than the White House. Bobo was complaining about Georgia giving driver's licenses without a road test. Howard said he didn't know about that. Bobo said that they can get it online. He said it's crazy and absurd. He said it's a dangerous precedent. He said this world is going to shit.
Howard said you can imagine that this is upsetting Bobo because he's a driving instructor and they're taking it away from him. Bobo said he has a passion to bring safety to the road and they're taking that away. Howard said he went from Rhodes Scholar George Stephanopoulos to Road Scholar Bobo today.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik who said Debbie can come blow him at his apartment. He also said that he'd be willing to be Anderson Cooper's partner to help him with his baby. Howard asked if he's attracted to Anderson. Erik said he would drop Chris Wilding to be with Anderson. Howard asked if he masturbated to Anderson yesterday. Erik said he did and he'd send him a dick picture if he wants it. Howard said maybe he'll ask Anderson if he wants one.
Howard asked if Erik has ever taken care of a baby or changed a diaper. Erik said he has. He said he did it for his sister when she had her babies. He said he changed their diapers. Howard said he and Anderson would make a beautiful couple.
Howard said he wants to be serious with Erik for a minute. He said he always fantasizes about these very good looking guys. He asked where he finds himself on a scale of 10 with his looks. Erik said he thinks he's an 8. He said he thinks he could get these guys. Erik said that Shuli said he looked like he had lost some weight a few weeks ago. Howard said he thought that he and John Stamos would make a great couple. Erik said fuck that guy, he's not into him.
Howard took a call from fake Anderson Cooper who wanted to have phone sex with Erik. They did their thing for a minute. Howard had to cut them off.
Howard took another call from his neighbor who said if the show is like this then keep it going. Howard said he has to end the show. He thanked Sal for the Debbie update. He told Robin not to hurt herself this weekend. He ended the show around 10:40am.