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Playboy Cyber Club
Howard started the show singing along to his theme song and then playing an Elephant Boy opening intro for the show. Howard said they don't have George Takei so they have Elephant Boy instead. Robin said George is very busy lately. Howard said he's sure he'll be there announcing when his play opens on Broadway. Howard said he was hoping it wouldn't open on Broadway because now he has to go to the opening. Howard said he hates plays. He said he loves George though. He said if he had any kind of civility he'd never invite him to anything.
Robin said she got an email the other day from George talking about meeting President Obama. Robin said she was being encouraged to join a lottery to meet the president. Howard said thanks for that option George.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he was doing and Howard hates that. The caller said he wanted to talk to Howard about eating eggplant. He asked how much he's eating. Howard said he had it last night. He said he'll have it Tuesday. He said he eats it a few times a week. The caller said eggplant causes inflammation of everything in your body. Howard said everything he eats has a problem. Robin said that it is true that nightshade vegetables cause inflammation. Howard asked about Yogurt. Robin said she's sure that's a problem too. Howard said he's going to die soon if he has nothing to eat.
Howard said for years he read that he should eat fish. He cut out turkey and chicken. He said he loved them for years. He said he ate salmon but his mercury levels were through the roof. Howard said he was toxic. Howard said the doctor told him to eat fish three times a week instead of twice a day. Howard said he started eating eggplant. Howard said he eats a lot of it but he's not having it twice a day. Howard said that he didn't know it was this nightshade stuff. Howard said he's losing his mind. He said you do the right thing and then find out it's wrong.
Robin said they say it's not good to eat anything exclusively. Robin said you should vary your meals. Howard said he was out with Robin the other night eating dinner. Howard said Robin is changing back and forth with her food all the time. Howard said she's eating fish. Robin said she eats it occasionally. Howard said he looked over the menu and they all start with a salad. Then here were 6 or 7 choices for an entree. Howard said he saw beef and cut that right out. Howard said they had fish but he doesn't eat that because of mercury poisoning. Howard said he saw pumpkin ravioli so he said he was getting that. Howard said Robin gets that and then pokes him in the ribs. Howard said Robin gave him a hard time about not telling her about what else was on the menu. Howard said Robin said she wanted fish. Howard said he thought she'd want the pumpkin ravioli. Robin said she doesn't eat a lot of white flour. Howard said this is a new thing. Howard said who knew that. Howard said Robin changed her order in time so she was able to get the fish.
Robin said Howard read the menu to her like it was the only thing for her. Howard said that's the last time he steps in. Howard said she has two big pumpkins on her chest so why wouldn't she want some to eat? Howard said she made the right move anyway. Howard said the ravioli was just okay. He said he should have had what Robin had. He said everything he does is wrong.
Howard said he guarantees Chuck Zito doesn't listen to that. Howard said it's crazy. Howard went through the other top 5 songs. Howard said Selena Gomez is in there at number 5. Howard kept playing the Justin Bieber song. He played Selena Gomez and then Silento's ''Watch Me.'' He had Beetlejuice singing that song too.
Howard said The Weeknd is at number 3 and at number 1. Howard played their number 3 song and had Beetlejuice singing that. Howard said Beet is awesome. Howard played Asian Pete singing the number 1 song. Howard said today's music really blows. Robin said their parents said the same thing about their music. Howard said its just not good music. He said it's not even close to what they had growing up.
Howard played a Hillary Clinton bit they created where they had her commenting on the republican candidates. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he loves that song. Howard said Cindy Crawford is coming in today. He said he was reading her book over the weekend. Howard said she was the biggest model out there. Fred said she was in 1995. Howard said when he was in high school he imagined marrying someone like Cindy. He said he just imagined that. Howard said he thought someone like her would fall in love with him. He said he had this vision. Howard said you have to dream big.
Howard said Adam Carolla is there too. He said he'll get him in there in a second. Howard said he is prolific. Howard said if he's here they should bring him in. Robin said the thing that was wild was the documentary he made of Paul Newman. Gary said that Adam just ran to the bathroom.
Adam came in a few seconds later. Howard said Adam has like 50 jobs. He said he's like a Jamaican guy. Howard said that he's not sure how he has time for the twins. He said he must have let that go. Adam said he did. He said he has that documentary on Paul Newman's racing cars. He said he has a bunch of Paul's cars too. Adam said he races them too. Howard said he has to know what he's doing racing. Howard asked how he can race when he's doing so many other things. Adam told Howard how he works with his guys to get the cars ready and he goes out and drives. He said he isn't a great driver but you do get to know the lay of the land. Howard asked if he's okay just being in the race and not winning. Adam said he calls it 25th runner up. He said you have a certain group of guys you can beat and a group you can't beat. He said you try to beat that certain group.
Howard said that Paul Newman was a great actor but it was important for him to be a champion in racing. Howard said Adam isn't built that way. Howard said Adam can do 20 things ''okay.'' Adam said that's right. He said that Paul focused on driving for 3 months of the year. Howard said Paul could have made 3 movies a year but he was so obsessed that he gave up a lot of his film career. Adam said the sport is dangerous too. He said he wants to do a lot of things and he does those and still has time to ignore his family. Howard said he thinks it's amazing that Newman was able to say no to so many things to concentrate on driving. Adam said he raced for charity too and that's what's amazing. Adam said his movie is called ''Winning: The Racing Life of Paul Newman.''
Howard said Adam had to work hard on his movie too. Howard asked how many years it was. Adam said it was like a year. He said the good thing about a documentary is that you can pick it up and put it down for a while. He said that he didn't know that his brother existed. He said he went out and interviewed his brother and Robert Redford. Howard said he figured it took years to pull that of.
Howard asked Adam how many days a week he's doing his podcast. Adam said he does 5 days and he's always done that. He said he banked a couple so he could do this show and some other things. Howard said he was talking about podcasts and how hard it is to do. He said he thinks that guys like Adam are successful because he did radio before. Adam said he has people tweeting at him about that all the time. He said he just thinks people should shut up about it. Adam said it is very difficult to do. He said it is possible but not for Howard or anyone else.
Howard asked if Adam watched the Pope. Adam said he did watch him kiss that baby. He said it was like they were passing the baby like a doobie. He said he handed the kid back and that's about all he saw. He said he wants to make a movie about that kid to see what happens to him. He said that he'll probably end up in juvenile detention or something. He said then he'll end up interning there at the Stern show. Howard said it would be great if he grew up to be a podcaster making no money.
Howard said he found himself so sucked into that pope thing. Howard said he got bored out of his skull watching some of that stuff. He said the fun stuff was watching him driving around but then he'd do his services and he'd get bored. Adam said they have things like that out in L.A. and they have to close the whole city down. He said he should just stay at the airport and roll the red carpet up there in a hangar. He said that they could collect their money there and have people visit.
Howard played some music they use for the pope when he shows up for an appearance. Howard said it sounds like when they create Frankenstein's bride. Howard said it's so dramatic. Adam said he's an atheist so he doesn't know. He said Penn Jillette is their pope.
Howard said that Adam has the racing movie and he has the movie Road Hard coming out on DVD a week from tomorrow. He has the podcast too. Howard said he's a busy guy. Adam said he got started late in life. He said he spent the first decade from high school until he met jimmy Kimmel cleaning up garbage on a construction site. Howard said that he thinks that guys should have to work construction before they become famous. Adam said he likes hanging out with the fans. He said that he doesn't have tough life stories other than having to eat off a lunch truck. Howard asked if he's jealous of his kids for having the life he didn't have. Adam said he tells them how good they have it and how he didn't have it. Adam said words can never put things into perspective. He said that they couldn't afford Top Ramen. He said that they have 70 inch TVs. Adam said that what they're living now is all they know.
Howard said Adam said that he's not for public breast feeding. Howard said that he says that it's a private thing like urinating. Adam said that we should just use common sense. He said you can breast feed but don't do it on a turntable in TGI Fridays. He said do things discretely like you do normally. He said do whatever in public but have a little discretion.
Howard said if people listened to him they'd be able to have a fuller life. Howard said Adam says he hopes his daughter doesn't grow up to do a half marathon. He wants her to do a full marathon and don't do anything half way. Adam said you have to do the whole thing. He said you can't do it halfway. Howard said Adam is making good points. He said people aren't following his words.
Howard said he has to applaud Adam. He said that these candidates are going on TV like trained monkeys. Howard said that seeing Carly Fiorina singing or Hillary dancing it seems like it's too much. Adam said he blames Bill Clinton for going on Arsenio and playing Sax. He said now people are going on and spinning plates or whatever. Adam said you don't want the fun guys running the country. He said you want the needs to do it. Adam said that Jimmy Kimmel is the guy you want to go out and have a beer with.
Howard said Adam says that home made sex tapes are never released with a guy who has a small penis. Howard said he's making a good point about that. Adam said that no one is going to film him with the piece of Chapstick he has between his legs. He said he has a theory about why we think all black guys have big cocks. He said that we only see them in porn and you know they're not going to hire a guy with a small dick to do porno.
Howard said he sees that Adam is palling around with Kevin Costner. Adam said he was invited out this house. He said the guy is a great guy. Adam said that he was doing a benefit for the military at the Simi Valley Reagan library. He said he did that and it was for the wounded warriors or whatever the group was. He said he was going to do 10 minutes in front of guys who are hard core heroes. He said at the end of the night Costner's band was going to play. Howard asked if that's a punishment. Adam said they're actually very good. Adam said he knows that those celebrity bands don't work out all the time. He said he was the third Bacon Brother for a while. Adam said he went up there and started the show and when you do the benefits you just ask where to go and get there. He said he went up and did his thing. Adam said he had a few minutes of material to do there.
Adam said he was standing there holding a glass of wine before going up. He said this guy comes up with a clipboard and says it's time to go up. He said that they tell him he has to lead everyone in the pledge of allegiance. He said that he was standing there like he's in the third grade. He didn't now he had to do that. He said they could have told his assistant that a few weeks ago. Adam said they're pushing him up on stage. He said the color guard comes up and does their thing. He said he asked everyone to rise and put their right hand over their heart. He said he's standing there in front of Kevin Costner's drum kit and holding a glass of wine. He said he put the wine over his heart. He said that he realized how absurd this is. Howard asked how he met Kevin. Adam told Howard to tell Cindy to wait. Adam said he looks at his cards and he brings up a general. He said the guy comes up and he's right out of central casting. He said that guy gets the microphone and he says they might think it's funny to hold a glass of booze up to pay homage to this country. He said the guy doesn't know his name and calls him out on the wine glass thing. Adam said the guy is the head of the sobriety group they have for the military coming back from war. He said he got yelled at in front of everyone. Adam said when he's done he has to walk up and get the microphone back from him.
Howard said that's the worst. Robin said that's the best. Howard said that is the most awful story ever. Adam said he wanted to crawl up inside his own asshole and hide. Howard asked what he said when he went back up. Adam said he just said he didn't know it was an intervention. He said after the show both he and Costner were being handed awards and Kevin told him how great it was what he did. He got invited to his ranch after that. Adam said Costner loved Road Hard and The Hammer. He said they had a kinship there.
Howard asked if he has a good time with Costner. Adam said he did. He said that they're both dudes. Howard asked if the general got invited to the ranch. Adam said he did not. Robin said that she loves that this was a real dressing down for him. Howard said he would love to watch Adam get schooled.
Howard gave Adam plugs for his TV show ''Catch a Contractor'' which is doing very well. Adam said they finished their third season and they're starting their fourth season. Howard said his podcast is making money. Adam said it's a slow creek of money. He said it's not a stream. Howard said that Adam has a book out and he has the DVDs coming out too.
Howard asked if the wives got along when he went to Costner's ranch. Adam said they did. Adam said they went out and played catch on his 20 acre property. Adam said they talked about trying to build something but their neighbors are assholes. He said that's the problem every rich guy has.
Howard asked Adam if he thinks Costner liked him or will he never be invited again. Adam said he's like a bullion cube and a little goes a long way. He said Kevin has a house that he has on acreage and he tells him he can come whenever he wants. Adam said he is attempting to tell his kids that this isn't how things work all the time. Adam said there is no gravity in his kid's world so they don't know.
Adam said his kids love America's Got Talent. He said they went out with Howie Mandel and his wife. He said he did a video chat with the kids. He said they've had enough.
Howard said Adam will be insulting people at Walter Reed next. Howard said he'll be holding a bottle of Mangria while he does that. Adam said he does that and brags about hanging out at Costner's ranch.
Howard gave Adam some more plugs but Robin said that she's not sure that he even saw Costner at his ranch. Adam said they did. He said they went to dinner at his house that was a half mile away. He said that they got into Kevin's convertible and drove into town to grocery shop. Howard asked if people were bothering him. Adam said they had 7 movie pitches before they got to the produce department. Adam said there were people pitching movies and Kevin knew more about this one story than the guy who pitched the movie did. He said he's an incredible guy.
Howard gave Adam more plugs for his movies and for his web site AdamCarolla.com where you can find out about everything he's got going on. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Robin said that Jon might need to get his energy back and grow a beard. Howard said that's what Letterman did. Howard said that he's consumed with Letterman and what he's up to. Howard said he thinks that Letterman is into his kid and being a dad. He said he thinks he has enough interests in life. Howard said he thinks that he could do the same. He said he could leave radio tomorrow and be busy enough. He said he feels like Letterman wasn't ready to retire. Howard said he thinks there were just so many young guys against him.
The caller, Chad, asked Howard about the RadarOnline stuff that's been going on lately. Howard said he loves Artie and he has tremendous affection for him. He said that when he met Artie he was hanging around with Norm MacDonald. Howard said he clicked with Artie right away. Howard said he was fantastic on the show. He said he fit right in. He always gave 100 percent. Howard said he is very sad about what happened to him and his health. Howard said he is a big Artie fan and he roots for him. He said he doesn't hear his podcast but he fell into a trap that he gets in a lot. Howard said he tries to avoid it. Howard said he read this article on RadarOnline. Howard said they wrote this article about him and he was shocked by it. Howard said he was hurt by it too. Howard said he always thought he was in his camp and all of that. Howard said then he found out from a friend of his that Artie said nothing wrong. Howard said this guy who wrote the article lied. Howard said all he did was read the article. Howard said people are always trying to do this to him. He said he gets sucked in but he tries not to. Howard said he should know better. He said Artie has done nothing to Artie and he has done nothing wrong to Artie. Howard said he roots for Artie's sobriety and all of that. Howard said they had a wonderful experience with Artie.
Howard said he's a pretty famous guy and if you can suck him into something then you can create havoc in someone's life. Howard said he doesn't always get caught up in that stuff but he did. Howard said he loves Artie and he thinks he's the greatest. Howard said he doesn't want to get sucked into someone's fabrication. Howard let Chad go after that.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Jeff and The Lump are her favorite moments. She asked when he's going to Kimmel because she has to be there. Howard said that Jimmy is coming to Brooklyn to do a show. Howard said he's doing it in Brooklyn and he's not sure why. Robin said it's the new hot spot. Howard said he likes Brooklyn. Mariann cheered for Brooklyn. Howard said Jimmy is coming to town and he's doing the show but he doesn't like doing them. Howard said he won't turn down his friend though so he will do the show. Howard said that he thinks that Fallon and Seth Meyers are mad at him for not doing their shows. Howard said he thinks that he's doing it that first day Jimmy is there but he's not sure. Howard said he has to check his phone. He said he has his calendar in there. Howard did that and started looking at his email. He said he seems that he has to do 20 things. Robin asked if he has the new phone yet. Howard said he ordered it but hasn't gotten it yet. Howard said Beth is getting the Rose Gold color but that's taking longer.
Howard checked his calendar but Mariann kept talking so Howard had to tell her to stop talking. Howard said he doesn't like the new Outlook thing on Apple. He said that the new Outlook isn't good. He said that it's boring to talk about. Howard looked up his calendar and found out that he's not doing it on the 19th. He said he's doing it on Tuesday the 20th. Howard said that's wrong too. Howard said he's actually doing it on Friday October 23rd. Mariann told him that she's the most loyal fan. Howard hung up on her.
Howard had Jeff the Drunk on the phone and Jeff said the cops came to his house a second time. He said they told the cops that he had overdosed.
Howard said that they asked Jeff about a confession thing that he'd do if he met the pope. Howard said Jeff said he killed a man. Jeff said it was made up. Howard played the clip of Shuli talking to Jeff about that and Jeff said he didn't want to get into it. Howard picked up on The Lump who said that Jeff actually bored one of his listeners to death. That's the guy he killed. The Lump said that Jeff's arm is a deadly weapon too so that's why the cops showed up.
Howard introduced The Lump to Bobo. The Lump said that Jeff actually died 3 weeks ago and the noises they're hearing are just air escaping from his corpse.
Howard asked Bobo what his question is. Bobo said he wants to do this off the cuff. He asked if Beth has ever confided in him about a chick coming on to her. The Lump told Bobo that this is off the cuff too.. go fuck yourself. Howard said that's off the cuff too. Howard asked if he should bother with this and address it. Robin said it's not interesting. Bobo said he is. Howard said yes, he has seen once or twice when women have come on to Beth in front of him. He said he does wonder if something will go down but she's not into women. Howard said that this was when they first met. Howard said she's not into women. The Lump told Bobo to go do a pratfall off a cliff.
Bobo asked Howard about a snoring problem he had years ago. Howard cut him off and said that's enough. The Lump said he's about to have a snoring problem himself. Bobo asked Howard not to hang up. Bobo said he wants to hear what else is going on. He said he's on the trails right now and he can't listen. Howard let Bobo go and accidentally hung up on The Lump. Howard said now he's stuck with Jeff. Jeff asked if the PGA gave him a shout out. Howard said they did. Howard said they played it already.
Howard played more of Pete snorting and sniffling and shushing people. Howard said they came over and told Pete to shut it down but then he can't stop saying goodbye. Howard played some of that audio and Pete is sniffing and saying goodbye over and over but he doesn't turn it off.
Howard said Pete speaks better in whisper. Howard said Jon Hein told him that Pete sniffed like this all day. Howard said Jon put up with it. He said he never made them move Pete. Howard played more audio of Pete saying goodbye over and over.
Howard said Pete goes to the library and then goes to Dunkin' Donuts and then out for sushi for lunch. Robin asked why he has to be in the library for the computer. Howard said he's not sure. Howard said the PGA heard him doing this whispering and wants to hire him now.
Howard played more of Pete sniffling asked Robin if she likes this or Jeff's better. Robin said she likes Pete's. Howard asked Jon Hein about Pete's sniffling. Jon came in and said that Howard has no idea. He said Pete is a really nice guy but the guys back there would encourage Pete to get closer and closer to him throughout the day. He said it was really tough but Pete is such a nice guy. <>Howard said Periscope is like a Wack Pack fish tank. He said you can tune in and see what they're up to. Howard asked Jon if he put a line of tape to keep Pete behind it in the office. Jon said he did. He said that he wasn't allowed to cross the line.
Howard said he'd kill himself if he had that sniffling in his ear all day long. Howard said that's tough. He let Jon go after that.
Howard said Cindy Crawford is coming in shortly. Howard said he and Fred agree that she's the most successful super model ever. Howard said that she has made lot of money. Robin said Giselle Bundchen has too. Howard said Cindy is the one. Howard said he read her book and looked at all of her pictures. Howard said he's very Cindy-centric. Howard said she did Playboy too. Howard said Herb Ritz did her shoot. Howard said it was beautiful. Howard made a jerking off sound. Howard said The Lump has a crush on Cindy's mole. Howard said they're dating.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for meditation. He said it has changed his life. He asked how far Howard went into the program. Howard said he's gone very far but he's been doing it since he was 18. Howard said he's a big fan and a big proponent of Transcendental Meditation. Howard said he does it twice a day. The caller said his mom is about to learn. Howard thanked the guy for the call. He said he has to move it along.
Robin asked Howard some Beatles questions. She said that she found out some information. Robin asked what album Eleanor Rigby was on. Howard said it was Rubber Soul but that was wrong. It was on Revolver. Robin asked Howard some more questions about that song and Howard said he's not an expert on that song.
Howard played a Ringo Starr impersonator doing a Peace and Love bit where he's putting stuff up for auction. Robin asked Howard another question about Eleanor Rigby. Howard he didn't fucking know. They went to break a short time later. They played Joe Walsh's ''Rosewood Bitters'' as they were going to break.
Howard came back and said that Cindy Crawford is there. He said she's gorgeous. Howard said she has a new book called ''Becoming''.
Howard said people always think life is fabulous being Cindy Crawford but she's had some bad times. Howard said that's the message of her book. Cindy said the stories are about the lessons she learned in the business. Howard said that he was looking at the pictures she did for Playboy with Herb Ritz. Howard said that you have to be careful doing that kind of thing these days. Howard said when she decided to that it could have cost her millions in endorsement deals. Howard asked why she was risking it. Cindy said they did. She said that she agreed to do it when she and Herb were doing another shoot. She said that she didn't ask for a lot of money but she asked for control of the pictures and the ability to kill the deal if she didn't like where it was going. Howard said that you have to take that control. Howard asked if she felt safe with Herb. Cindy said she did. She said she felt safe when he took them and when she saw them. She said that she thought that if they were in Vogue or anything else they'd be fine.
Howard said Cindy's father thought that modeling was another word for prostitution. Howard said that Beverly Johnson's father thought the same thing. Cindy said that she was going to show her father that it wasn't.
Howard said that Cindy talks about when she's a young girl that her friends pulled a trick on her in high school. Cindy said she was 16. Howard said this department store tells her that they want her to model for them. Cindy said it came out of nowhere. Howard said she went to her parents and told them what was going on. Howard said she shows up and the store employees look at her like she's nuts. Howard said that her friends are the ones who called her to do that. Cindy said she can still remember that feeling. She said that she ran out of the store as quick as she could. She said she saw the girls a half block away laughing. She said that it hurt a lot. She said she's been able to tap into that and now she thinks she's showed them. Cindy said she saw them at her 10 year high school reunion. Howard asked if the suck up to her when she does that. Cindy said she doesn't have to say anything and it shows.
Howard said in modeling you measure success by the money. Howard said that she got her Revlon endorsement deal and before that you're a working model. Cindy said that's right. She said she had her phone ringing a lot but it can end the next day. She said that you don't have any security. Howard asked if she can go out and live life normally or does she worry about hurting her face. She said she does worry. She said that she does that when she's playing catch with the kids.
Howard said Cindy got into the business and people thought that she should remove her mole. Howard said that the photographers were trying to cover it up and remove it in the photos. Howard said he has seen the pictures without the mole and it's not the same. Cindy said that it punctuates her face. She said that a lot of women have moles on them and so many women saw it on the cover of Vogue and changed the way they were handling theirs.
Howard said the cover of Vogue was a big deal. Howard said you can appear in there nude and it's fine but if you're in Playboy it's a different thing. Cindy said that everyone thought she'd never get a cosmetic contract after that. She said that MTV came calling after the Playboy thing. She said that they had guys in their audience and they wanted her to do House of Style. Howard said she did that show and MTV was so big at that point. Howard said Cindy didn't even know who Led Zeppelin was at the time. Cindy said she should have known.
Howard asked Cindy about the drug scene at the time. He said she never really got into that. Cindy said it was around but she wasn't really aware of it. Howard said that she's so gorgeous that no one realizes how smart she is. Howard said she got a full scholarship to Northwestern. Howard said that she realized that she had to do the modeling the make the money while she could. Howard said she did go to school though. Cindy said that she went to college and she had to work hard. She said that she started working a lot and she wast' able to do both. She said she dropped out after one semester. Howard said he knows she wants to be modest but are people driven to distraction when she walks in a room. Howard asked what that's like to try to live a normal life and look like Cindy Crawford. She said she tried to fit in. She said she went to one class and the professor said he thought she was in the wrong class. She said she had taken tests and a professor thought she cheated. She said it was kind of eye opening. She said she thought that she could be president but then she sees that looking a certain way gets you judged.
Howard asked if her IQ was ever tested. Cindy said she doesn't think so. She said she likes the idea that it's really high but she doesn't really know. Howard said that Fred was saying to him that he thought that it was like 155. Howard said he must have just given that to her. Cindy thanked Fred for that.
Howard said Cindy's brother died when she was 10 years old. Howard asked if he was older. Cindy said he was younger. Howard asked if he's constantly in her head. Cindy said it was such a huge thing for a family to go through. She said it really struck her when she had her kids. Cindy said that she called her mom and asked how she got through it. She said that her mom said she had 3 other kids that she had to support. Cindy said that Jeff opened them up to philanthropy. She said her mom wanted to raise a lot of money for Leukemia. Howard asked if she worried about having Leukemia too. Cindy said that she thinks it was more about survivor guilt. She said that they thought it should have been one of them. She said she never thought about being diagnosed with it.
Howard asked if she thinks that her parents divorcing 4 years later was from that. Cindy said the statistics show that it can cause that. Cindy said her mother went to courses and did all of the processes to get her through it. Howard asked if she went to find help from someone. She said she did. Cindy said that her dad grieved in his own way and that may have come back to bite him in the end. Howard said that Cindy must have thought that she should have died instead of her brother. She said all three of the girls thought that.
Cindy said she thinks about her brother now that her son is turning 16. She said that she thinks about where her brother would have been at that age.
Howard asked Cindy if she looks at her own kids and gets into a panic. Cindy said anything can get her into that. She said whenever her son drives away you are constantly worrying. Howard asked if she hovers over the kids because of that. She said she doesn't think so. Howard said he met her daughter and she's such a great kid. Howard said she's as good looking as Cindy. Robin said that both kids are gorgeous.
Howard asked Cindy about parents being jealous of their children's youth. Howard said he's getting older and he knows what that's like. Howard said that there must be an envy there and you have to keep that in check. Cindy said having kids makes getting older easier. She said it's so fun watching them blossom. Cindy said that you look at the way they look abut also that their whole life is in front of them. She said you get envious but also excited that they have that to look forward to.
Howard asked Cindy about going out with a guy in high school and then going into a relationship with Richard Gere. Howard said that was crazy. Howard said she had only dated one guy before that. Cindy said that was kind of crazy. Howard said she dated Val Kilmer too. Then she met her husband. Howard asked why she didn't marry Val. He said he strikes him as a wild thinker. She said that he is. Howard said Cindy hasn't slept with tons of guys. She said no. She said models are like people so some do and some don't.
Howard asked if she's petrified by the idea of her daughter going out. Cindy said that Randy is. She said that she wants her daughter Kaia do what she wants to do. She said that she thinks she can help her avid the pitfalls. Howard said he thinks that her quitting modeling and staying home is what saved her kids. Howard said it had to be hard to do that. Cindy said she never really quit. She said they did move to L.A. and changed their lives. She said they stay home and they're with the kids a lot. She said she thinks that most of what she says goes in one ear and out the other. She said she thinks if they see her treating people with respect that will rub off on them.
Howard said it would have been weird if they had ugly kids. Howard said that Randy is a good looking guy and Cindy is very attractive. Howard asked if Randy modeled too. Cindy said he did do some. Howard said he did too. Howard said he can't imagine marrying a guy who is in the bar business who looks like that. Howard said that women must be attracted to him. Howard said they'd be attracted to him even if he was a loser. Cindy said that she thinks being with actors is even harder. Howard said that she must worry about it. Cindy said that Randy is 4 years older than she is. She said she thinks that she's going to be older than him in girl years soon so she tells him he has to behave.
Howard said Cindy talked about being married to Richard Gere and how that never felt like a marriage because they never had any time together. Cindy said that she bothered Richard enough about getting married that they ended up going to Las Vegas to do it. She said that she got what she wanted but then when she married Randy it felt so different to do it in front of friends and family. She said that it's a different kind of thing and it's meaningful.
Howard asked Cindy about the modeling business and if she can make $100,000 or more doing modeling. She said she did that in Chicago. Howard said she didn't have to talk to her parents about borrowing anything. She said that she was sending them money. Howard said when she became a super model was when she did the Vogue cover. Howard said that so many models talked about how they had to sleep with the photographer to get on the cover. Cindy said that the photographer wasn't like that when she was there. She said that things are very different now. She said she got a cover try and they did some pictures and mocked them up. She said that it's not an accident. She said sleeping your way on the cover doesn't seem like it would work.
Howard asked Cindy about where she was when she found out she was on the cover of Vogue. Cindy said she was coming back from some trip and she was in an airport. She said she saw the cover. She said she was 20 years old at the time. She said this was in 1986. She was still dating the guy from high school at the time. Howard asked if she ever thought about just marrying him and having babies with him. Cindy said she did think about that until she moved to New York. She said that there was so much more going on there.
Howard said he feels bad for that guy. Howard said that he lost Cindy Crawford. Cindy said he has done very well since then so don't feel bad for him. Howard asked if she broke up with him for Richard Gere. She said it was before that. She said that he may have been ready to pop the question and it was time to end it. She said that she was in L.A. after they broke up and this cute guy was standing there and asked her out. She said that she was single so he shows up at her hotel the next morning with flowers. She said they just took the flowers and sent him away. Howard said that sounds like that movie Knotting Hill. Cindy said that she did go out with the guy. She said the guy told his friend that she just met her and told him her name and the friend showed him on the cover of Vogue.
Howard said that she knew that Vogue was going to change her life. Howard asked where she was when she saw it. She said she was at an airport and she bought 3 copies. Howard asked about getting the Revlon deal too. Howard said that she becomes the representative for the company. Howard asked if she uses the products just in case you get caught. She said it's good business to do that. Howard said then she's a millionaire and she's good looking. Howard said then she does something smart. He said she did that Pepsi commercial. Howard said he still goes on to watch that daily. Howard said that Cindy is so fucking hot in that thing. Howard said it's two kids watching her get out of a car and she's drinking the Pepsi like it's a man's penis. Cindy said that's not the image she got. Howard said it was such a great commercial. He said she may have become even more famous from that. Cindy said that's like the crossover thing. She said that you get the male fans from that. She said it's a completely new audience.
Howard said you can make blunders in your career too. Howard said you can't put out too much product. Cindy agreed. Howard asked if they asked he to sell everything she could. Cindy said she was with Elite Models and they weren't doing that branding thing like they do now. Cindy said she always checked with her gut what she thought was right. She said she has made mistakes but she thinks that she's made some good decisions like the exercise tape. She said that she's not sure everyone was using it to exercise to. Howard said he didn't. He said he used it for other reasons. Howard said she must have known that it was more about watching her than doing the workout. She said that she was in a swimsuit. Howard asked how hard it was to get that look. She said it's a lot harder now. Howard said he thinks that being an athlete is what helps. Howard said she worked in corn fields and stuff. She said she played Softball and rode her bike. She said they weren't in the house like kids are today. Howard asked if she has people throw their kids in front of her saying that they're going to model and you know they're not. Cindy said that the camera loves some people. She said that sometimes you don't see it in person but on camera you do.
Howard asked Cindy if she had to learn how to turn on her smile. Cindy said that the photographers will show you. Howard said he can't imagine she ever took a bad picture. Howard said that she says there are bad ones. Cindy said in every shoot they have bad ones. She said she has a side. She said it's the mole. Howard said he has a good side but good luck finding it. Howard said it takes time to be a natural in front of the camera. Howard asked if she's a calorie counter. She said she's not. She said she likes chocolate. She said she'll eat it. She said she needs it.
Howard asked if Cindy was a binge eater or anything. She said she wasn't. Howard gave Cindy a plug for her book ''Becoming By Cindy Crawford'' and said she'll be doing an autograph signing. Howard asked if she thinks about what she's wear there. She said she does. She said that she likes to wear trousers or pants. She said that she wants to be able to sit there for hours without crossing her legs. Howard said you can find out more at Cindy.com
Howard said Cindy's husband Randy is in a bromance with George Clooney. Cindy said that Howard said that, not her. She said George is a pretty great guy. She said that they all knew each other before they knew each other. Howard said George used to date two women a year. Howard said that he imagines that Cindy has to get along with the girlfriends. Howard asked what you do if he's dating someone she doesn't like. Cindy said she never has had to do that. She said they were easy to get along with but there were some she liked better than others. He said that Amal is very easy to like. Howard said the girls have to hang out together so they have to get along. Cindy said that people ask about Amal and she's really a great person. She said she's very easy to get along with .
Howard asked if George and Amal would ever have kids. Cindy said if he asked her that 5 years ago she would have said no. She said George has surprised her so if they did, it wouldn't surprise her. Howard asked if that's her only celebrity friend. She said that it is. It sounded like she was joking.
Howard asked if she's a religious person. Cindy said she believes there is a god. She said that she doesn't make the kids go to religious training or anything. She said Randy is Jewish so they don't do that. Howard said that Cindy's new book is available tomorrow.
Howard asked Cindy about doing a photo shoot once and had a photographer call her breasts ''titties'' and she got upset about that. Howard said you have to be cool when you're around women like that. Cindy said that the key is to be cool and pretend not to care. Howard said that he can't believe she never slept with a photographer. She said she never did.
Howard said Cindy has done some acting. Cindy said that she tried it without any training. She said she went in for an audition once and the director asked her to read a line. She said she just read it without emoting because he asked her to ''read'' it. She said that was kind of humiliating. She said that she did some movies and she had a coach and stuff but she should have said no. She said it was a great experience in other ways though.
Howard gave Cindy some more plugs for her book and asked if she still likes getting her picture taken. She said thank god for retouching. She said that she likes having the rapport with the photographer. She said that she likes doing that stuff. She said that she has Kaia Gerber chomping at her heals. She said that her daughter is so more advanced than she was at her age. Howard asked if she's going to make her go all the way through high school. Cindy said she's still too young to model. She said she just turned 14. She said that her dad tells her that she has the rest of her life to work so she can wait. Howard gave her some more plugs and wrapped up. They went to break a short time later and played Collective Soul's ''The World I Know''.
Howard asked Steve Brandano why he was in there. Steve said they have some charity people sitting in. Howard said he didn't even see them. Howard put their microphones on and asked them where they were from. They were from Boston. They donated to North Shore. Howard asked about some of the stations up in Boston that he knew. Howard said that WBCN was the greatest. The guy said they play top 40 now. Howard talked to them about going to college up there in Boston and how he went to BCN to see what that was like. He said this guy came out and shook his hand and then listened to his tape. The guy didn't bother coming out after that. Howard said that was just a long list of stations that rejected him. He said he thought maybe he shouldn't shoot so high so he went to Maine instead. Howard said he went to a shithole station in Pennsylvania and then in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. Howard said that he eventually got hired. Howard said it wasn't easy.
Howard asked the guy who was sitting in (Scott) what he does for a living. The guy said that he makes that bumpy tile for the blind. Howard asked how he came up with that. The guy said he's not blind and he just fell into it back in the 90s. He said they have specifications for that stuff and that's what they make. Howard said it's like Braille on the sidewalk. The guy said it is. Howard wasn't aware of this stuff but Robin knows what it is. Howard asked the guy what makes his bump better than others. He said they make a high quality product. He said they sell it all over the world. Howard said that sounds like an awesome business. The guy said it's been nice. The woman said they have the yellow bumpy tile too that they use at train stations. Howard asked if he has seen his bumps. The guy said he has. He said their name is on it. Howard said he's going to look for it. Howard asked if his product is better than others. The guy said absolutely. He said that theirs is just better all around. He said they're made of plastic. Howard said he had no idea that he was missing this stuff. Howard asked if they
Howard asked the guy what he does for work every day. The guy said he has no idea at this point. He said he just makes sure everyone does their job. Howard asked if he could blindfold him and identify his bump over other ones. The guy said he could do that. Howard said he has no idea where he's been that he doesn't know about this product. Howard said he should make a musical bump that makes sound when you hit it. Robin said that could work. Howard said that it could play the theme from Friends. Robin said everyone would be irritated. Howard said maybe a Stevie Wonder song would be better.
Howard welcomed the two guests. Howard thanked them for donating. Howard asked if the wife (Gayle) hangs out at home. She said she does.
Howard asked Robin if she watched Ray Donovan last night. Robin said she's going to watch it today. Howard asked his guests if they watch the show since they're from Boston. They said they watch it every Sunday. They also saw Liev Schreiber in a play on Broadway and he was great.
Robin read a story about Danny Pintauro from ''Who's The Boss'' coming out and telling Oprah that he's HIV positive. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. He told Oprah that he was doing crystal meth at the time when he got it. Howard said it sounds like he's saying he wasn't being safe but thought he was being safe. Howard said Gary came to him and told him that he thought the kid was gay very early on. Howard said Gary also told him that he knew he'd do crystal meth some day. Gary said he even walked gay on that show. Robin had a few clips of Danny talking about how he got HIV and how he doesn't know the guy's name he got it from. He assumes the guy isn't alive now. Danny said he regrets not knowing who that guy is. He said he changed the way he lives his life. Howard asked Gary if he knows anyone who was a gay walker and didn't turn out gay. Gary said he'll have to check his notes. Howard asked Gary if Richard Simmons has a gay walk. Gary said he doesn't know.
Robin read about how the pope is back in Rome now. Howard said he read something about the pope asking comedians to tweet out religious jokes. Howard said he thinks that's what was going on. Gary said it was about doing jokes and not just tweeting them. He wanted them to do it to honor the church. Howard asked how you tell a joke that honors religion. Howard played a clip of Conan O'Brien doing a joke for this thing. Conan did one about how people in Napa are so worried about the drought that they're asking the pope to turn wine into water. Howard had some fake jokes that they had phony Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Caine and Seth Rogen do. Howard said the Conan one was real at least. Howard said it was all pope all the time while he was there. Robin said he was all around the city and constantly visiting the indigent. Robin said he went to homeless shelters and schools. Howard said the thing about that is that if they sold just one painting at the Vatican they could clothe all of the homeless.
Howard had a bit where Joey Boots and High Pitch Eric (Matt Jacobs) meet the pope. Eric bites the pope's finger off in that. Howard said that's a little Eric and Joey cartoon.
Robin read more about the pope and what he was up to with the ''Joke with the Pope'' thing. Robin had some audio of the pope speaking and an interpreter explaining what he was saying. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read more pope news. Howard asked Gary if he has any thoughts on the way the pope walks. Fred answered as Gary. Robin had more audio of the pope for Howard to play.
Howard said this is crazy. He said there's a headline about Cosby having his son murdered. Robin said that might be going too far. Howard said they can't just print that. Howard said they say that's what someone has written in a book about Cosby. Robin said if they say the book says that then they don't have to prove it. Howard said that he's going to accuse Cosby of lifting those rubber bump mats off the sidewalks.
Robin had more pope audio and had Howard play that stuff. Howard said he's zoned out. Howard said he thinks when the pope is going around on the plane and in the shitty car it's fun but this isn't. Howard asked if they have sidewalk bumps in Russia or do they not give a shit. The charity guy said that he would say they probably don't give a shit. He said in South America they buy the bumps. Howard asked if China does. The guy said not so much. Howard said it's so awesome that this guy makes those things. Howard said people must assume he's a great guy. The guy said they do. Howard said he needs some of those bumps in the studio for when Psych is up there. Howard said imagine if Robin was the model for the bumps. He said people would be tripping over them. Howard said that would be so much fun.
Robin read more about the pope's visit and had Howard play more clips. Howard said he's not sure why he's going anywhere. Howard said he's like 78 and he's traveling all over. Howard said he'd be so bad as pope. He said he'd be like ''Fuck you I'm not going anywhere.'' Howard said he wonders where he moves his bowels and things like that. Robin said they had him in a house that he stayed at. Howard said he must have waited to go there. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the mayor of Lewiston, Maine wanting people who are getting welfare to have their names published. Robin had some audio of the mayor talking about that. Fred played some audio of Jeff the Drunk telling him to shut up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Mariann doesn't speak for the fans. He said she's arrogant and nasty to the fans. Howard said he's never noticed that. Howard said she appears to be a very positive person. He said she seems so entitled. Howard said he thinks he's made his point. Howard let him go and said he's never heard that Mariann was arrogant.
Howard asked Robin if he should tell his mom not to call a computer ''the machine.'' Howard did his mom's voice talking about his sister and how she helped find some socks they were looking for. She said they went on ''the machine'' and found them. Howard said it annoys the shit out of him but then he's like fuck it. Howard said she knows the word computer. Howard said he wanted to get them a computer but forget it. He said she says she doesn't do well with machines. Howard said he knows people their age who have computers. Robin said sure they are up on Skype and all of that. Howard said he's tried to tell them how great it is but they don't care. Howard said his sister takes photographs and posts them on Facebook. He said his mother hears about them from her friend Lilith. Howard said her friend has a machine to look at them. He said she calls her cell phone a ''car phone'' because they keep it in the car. Howard said he bought them a car with a cell phone in it in case of emergency. Howard said they don't have a cell phone in the house. Howard said she has a wireless phone in the house. Howard said he gave them a Tivo but they won't learn how to use it. Howard said they had a VCR until that. Howard said he was going to teach them how to use it but he knew it would lead to aggravation.
Howard said that his parents just started using the phone answering machine. He said his mother won't leave a message on a machine thoguh. He said it's crazy. Howard said it's infuriating. He said he would have called her back if she had left a message. Robin said something so Howard had his mother asking ''Who is that?'' Then his dad gets on and asks who she's talking to. He had Ben and Ray going back and forth about Robin. Then he had them talking about their meals and using answering machines.
Robin read a story about the Dalai Lama being admitted into a hospital in Minnesota. Robin said that he had to cancel some appearances around the country and doctors have told him he needs to rest.
Robin read a story about John Boehner announcing that he's stepping down. Howard said that guy is a real crybaby. Howard said he was crying over the pope last week. Howard said he likes to tan a lot too. Howard said he's like Tan Dad. Howard said he should resign too. He said he has to get out of there. Robin had a couple of audio clips of John talking about his stepping down. Robin had some audio of Ted Cruz commenting on it as well. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Carly Fiorina having a curtain drop on her during a speech. Robin had some audio from the event. Robin had some clips of her talking about planned parenthood and things like that. Howard said some of these people have really vomitus personalities.
Robin read a story about Jeb Bush making some statements that got him into some hot water. Robin had some audio of him explaining himself.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump ending up on 60 Minutes this week. Robin had some audio from that interview.
Robin read a story about the box office for this weekend. Robin said Transylvania 2 pulled in $47.5 million. Howard said he thinks David Spade is in that. Fred said he thinks Adam Sandler is in it. Robin said The Intern came in second with $18 million. Maze Runner came in third with Everest and Black Mass rounding out the top 5.
Howard thanked Scott and Gayle for making the donation. He wrapped up and ended the show around 11:20am.
Jon said he brings that up because it came up on the show today but also because Pete doesn't get the hate that other Wack Packers get. He said Bobo and Mariann took some of that today. Jon said he wonders if it's jealousy or envy of the closeness they have to the show or maybe it's people getting tired of hearing them. Jon said that he'd like to know what the fans think. He said Pete is the one to checkout if you want to hear library whispering at its finest.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that it's time for a new Baba Booey shout out on the news. She said they need to yell out ''Mac-hine'' or something like that. Jon said that Gary has rejected them all when they bring them up. Jon said he thinks Gary is very protective of that Baba Booey. Jon said if someone says Baba Booey to you then you know they're part of the family. Rahsaan said if it ain't broke then don't fix it. Jon said he agrees with that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Pete is likable and that's why he doesn't get the hate mail. Jon said he's extremely likable. He said that people may feel sympathy for him. He said that he seems like more of an innocent than others. The caller said Pete also respects them. Jon said he's also not on every day. He said that may be part of it. Jon said he doesn't miss Pete standing next to him but he does miss him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the fans aren't envious of Bobo. He said that he was off for the whole summer and it was the happiest time without his dumb questions. He said the fans are just annoyed with Bobo. He said he has to get that through his thick skull.
Jon said that they have guest co-hosts in there and they all say they can't stand Bobo. He said Howard still likes Bobo though so that has to tell you something. The caller said that it's coming out more now because of that General Hospital thing. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Jon said he wonders with Gary's kids going to college if he thinks about how he'd like to be in that position. Gary said his son is in the communications thing and it reminds him of those times but he'd rather be where he is now. Gary said that Cindy was telling him something funny about how her daughter will post something in Instagram and when she does it her son will say to her that she doesn't have the best judgment because she did Playboy.
Jon took a call from a guy who gave his thoughts on Bobo and Mariann. He said that Mariann is kind of annoying. He said she should be off for the winter. Gary asked what reason they would do that to her. The caller said that it would be because of that call from this morning. Jon said the big difference with Bobo is that he betrayed the show. Jon said Mariann has never betrayed the show and she probably would never do that. Jon said Mariann was freaking out when Howard gave her the wrong date for the Kimmel thing. Jon said that they're trying to figure out where all of this comes from. Gary said that they can't vote on this with the fans. He said Howard likes something and keeps using it so that's how it goes.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that what Howard thinks is funny is what the fans think is funny. He said he can listen to Gary the Retard for hours. He said that Bobo exploited his relationship with Howard but Gary would never do that. He said that's what annoys people about Bobo. He said Bobo tried to create a fake career for himself. He said he's not the guy they thought he was.
Gary asked what other Wack Packers fit that bill. The caller said Eric the Actor was funny because he was trying to be something he wasn't. He said Howard was using that to entertain. He said it's the same with High Pitch Eric. Gary asked about Wendy. The caller said she's always looking for handouts and she doesn't get it. He said it's the pureness of her personality. Gary asked where Medicated Pete falls. The caller said he was getting to that point but someone got a hold of him and tried to turn him into something that he wasn't when Howard introduced the fans to him.
Gary asked where the caller thinks Hank falls. The caller said Hank was such a train wreck that it didn't matter what he did. He said with Gary the Retard you get what you get. He said if Sal and Richard stopped doing phony phone calls then they'd lose interest in that. He said they should stick with what they were when they started calling in. Gary said he likes that thought process.
Jon said the one who defies it all is Beetlejuice. He said there is just one Beetlejuice. Gary said he'd never be able to use the show. He said someone would be pushing him into it. He said no one seems to care about what he does because he's the man. Gary said he thinks Hank did appearances and they supported that. He said he doesn't think that he ever changed. He said the only time he saw him sober was at a wedding and it was unsettling.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves the show. He said he thinks that the person who has showed a decline in personality is High Pitch Eric. He said that he remembers his first visit to the show and he was nicely dressed and he was much thinner. He said that he's a shit show now. Gary said you don't have to be successful to shine in the Wack Pack. He said Eric shines for his lack of success. Gary said he heard he could be pushing 430 pounds now. Gary said if he breaks 500 that would be something. Jon said it sounds like that could happen soon. Gary said he hopes it doesn't. Jon agreed. They went to break after that.
Jon said Howard is obsessed with Adam's obsession with Paul Newman. Gary said Howard has some passions that are sort of off beat. He said Howard loves Jerry Mahoney but he'd never make a documentary about it. Gary said he thinks Howard thinks that it's a frivolous thing. Jon said Adam is doing 10 other things though. He said he's working non stop. Gary said Adam said today that he was that guy at a construction site cleaning up garbage and that's the guy you drive by wondering who that guy is. He didn't want to be that guy anymore.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's only been listening to the show for about 2 years now. He asked if they think the newer Wack Packers have more of a predisposition to taking advantage of the show. Jon said he thinks any Wack Packer who comes on the show is pure. He said then they get the success. He said when Howard is talking about you then you feel that drug. He said you want more and more. He said that's addicting. Jon said that's where it all comes from. Jon said that works for some of the staff members too. Gary said that Periscope is like their heroin until they can get on the show again. He said it can be so arbitrary. He said you might be discovered and get on the show and think that you're almost sitting in the Jackie chair. He said then Howard doesn't pick up on them for a month and they freak out.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves Mariann. He said if she ever quit the show he doesn't know what he'd do. He said Howard's show helps him go through the day. He said sometimes he thinks about how he has to quit listening but he cant do it. The caller said he thinks that Howard should find some new Wack Packers. Gary said he can barely control the ones they have. The caller said he thinks Jeff the Drunk is so depressing that people love it. Gary asked the caller why Jeff's arm is dead. The caller said that he was in a car wreck. Gary said it was his fault and he brought it on himself. Gary said Eric the Actor was born the way he was. Jon said they did get Mick the Nerd on the show this year. He said not everyone can be a Wack Packer. Gary asked if Monotone Matt is in it. Jon said they're still out on that one. The caller said they have to get some new Wack Packers in there. He said they need a Stern's Got Talent contest. Gary said they did that and found Big Foot that way. He said they may do that again.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Howard used to be The Lump to the Wack Packers. He said that Howard was brutal to all of those guys. He said now he treats them with kid gloves. He said that Howard isn't telling Jeff what he is and what he thinks. He said he thinks Howard has changed. Gary said Jeff isn't as interesting as he once was because he was a drunk. He said he was interesting when he drank. He said he won't give him a hard time about that but that's why he's boring.
Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and ended the show around Noon.
Howard started the show with Fred playing Ronnie ''Duu'' clips along to ''The Great American Nightmare'' opening theme song. Howard said Ronnie says ''Duu'' instead of ''dude.'' Howard said he hears a lot of people saying it that way. Howard said he could listen to him do that all day. Fred played Ronnie saying ''I love cock'' too.
Howard said there are a couple of Ronnie songs that he has to play. He said they're are plenty of Robin songs too. Howard said Ronnie was in there the other day and it was very disturbing. Howard said he took a turn for the worse. He said that he was talking about eating ass and people didn't like it. Howard said they were talking about a rusty trombone and Ronnie came in to talk about that. Howard said Gary clammed up about it but Ronnie spilled his guts. Howard said this song is called ''Eating My Ass Till I Fart.'' He played that song about eating ass.
Howard said his friend Pat was driving up to Vermont and he had his kid in the car. He said then Ronnie came in talking about eating ass and he had to turn it off. Howard said he got to the part where Ronnie said ass didn't have much of a taste and it tastes like skin. Howard said he has the email somewhere. He said people were really turned off to his stories. Howard played another song parody about Ronnie being an ass eater. Howard said that was Psych. Howard said Ronnie's moustache must smell like Wendy's diaper.
Howard played some of Justin Bieber's new song and said he really looks so effeminate in the new pictures he has out. Howard played a song parody to the tune of that new song and it was about sucking a ween. Howard said he'd like them to stop using the word ''goo'' in their songs. Howard said that's a Richard Christy thing. Howard said it's funny when Richard says it but other than that it's not.
Howard said he heard they played that new Justin Bieber song in the operating room when Caitlyn Jenner was getting her cock cut off. Robin said some people in the music business just won't go away. She mentioned Britney Spears. Howard said he thinks she's still so hot. He said she's fucking crazy but she's hot. Howard said that he bets she fucks like crazy. He said he imagines your cock and balls must almost get sucked off from her sucking so hard.
Howard said some guy wrote an article about how if you listen to the Justin Bieber song 5 times in a row you'll turn gay. Robin said they might be right. Howard played the song again and Fred played a porn clip of someone choking on a dick. Howard played the Richard Christy song parody of the Bieber song again too.
Howard said Fred is looking hot to him. He said he must have played the song one too many times. Howard said even Benjy is looking attractive to him with those meatball eyes. Howard was talking to Benjy with his sexy voice. Howard said Benjy is reading Playgirl right now. Fred played a clip of Ronnie saying ''I love cock'' after some fake Perez Hilton ''Benjy!'' clips.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks Howard subconsciously loves that song. Howard said he knows him so well. The caller said he played it all day long yesterday. Howard said he's going to stick his tongue so far up his ass he won't know what hit him. Howard told the guy to shut up and listen to the show and stop thinking so much.
Howard said he'd like to do a remake of the movie Swept Away with J-Lo. Howard said he'd just say he doesn't want to fuck her and walk away. Howard said he doesn't like people who are so full of themselves. Howard said he'd love to have her hit in the head with a coconut and she's knocked unconscious. Howard said he gets bored by her music and he doesn't care about her. Howard said she doesn't care about him so there is no love there. Howard said he doesn't hate her but she just seems like an unattractive person.
Fred told Howard that in 2002 Suge Knight was on the show talking about that sex tape. Howard said he doesn't like the sex tapes where they have a hidden camera on them and it gets released. Howard said he doesn't trust anything he reads in the paper anymore. He said Donald Trump was talking about how angry he gets when newspapers lie about him. Howard said they aren't printing all lies but he knows that there are stories they make up. Howard said they will say something outrageous like he has AIDS and then they'll call asking for him to comment. Howard said if he doesn't comment they print it anyway.
Howard said he's an honest guy. He said the people you think are honest aren't and the ones who you think aren't, are. Howard said sometimes he thinks it's best to ignore a story but then it gives strength to the story.
Chad said some of the sex tapes that come out seem like they were made on purpose. Howard said when someone is subjected to a hidden camera it's wrong. Howard said shame on us for watching them. Robin said she never watches them. She said she never saw the Rob Lowe tape when Gary asked about that. Robin said she did see bits of the Pam Anderson tape but only because they were watching it at work.
Howard said Robin said a saint. He said someone asked what Robin is up to. Howard said Robin is a broadcaster but she was also a nurse. Howard said he told this person that she was a captain in the Air Force. Howard said that he has her tell stories about killing a shark with a surf board and the person had no idea what was truth and what wasn't. Howard said Robin heard there is water on Mars so she's going there for that.
Chad mentioned that Eli Braden or someone could write songs about all of that. Howard said he has some song parodies about Robin to play. He played one from Eli Braden. That was about her big breasts. Howard said he preps for the show by listening to these songs. Howard said some of them are unbelievable. Chad said you'd think that someone would have created the exact same song parody. Howard said that has happened. He said that Eli, Psych and Little Mikey will send in a similar song and they'll get angry that they stole each other's ideas. Howard said he had one from Michael Berkus.
Chad said that Chris Wilding has been on fire lately. Howard said he has. He said he has a new thing where Chris sent in an email to a radio show and he spells out crazy things that the hosts read. Howard played a clip where the host of the radio show was giving birthday shout outs and read the names which sounded like Lazy Mexicans, Pushy Jew and things like that. Howard said they think they have listeners in the middle east who are listening to them.
Howard said he has another Chris Wilding prank call where he calls into a show. Howard played that and in the clip Chris calls in with clips of a woman talking about doing anal and shit comes pouring out. The hosts calls him an idiot and says Jesus Christ loves him and he needs to repent. Howard said that's what Chris is up to.
Howard played a new Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard get 3 guys named John on and ask ''John'' to speak and all of them start talking over one another. Howard said that's so annoying. Robin said none of them hung up. Howard said that went on for hours. Chad said that's another one of their ''confusion'' series.
Chad said JD tweeted something recently and he had to read it a bunch of times to understand it. Howard said he thought JD wrote clearly and it's only when he talks that he's confusing. Howard asked JD if he's moved in with the girlfriend yet. JD said not yet. He said she visits on the weekends. Howard said that he just cut himself off answering that. Howard asked if he has low self esteem. JD said he does. Howard said he does too but he's able to complete a thought.
Howard said JD went to a football game recently and he wore a competing team shirt there. He said that's ballsy. JD said that the girlfriend wanted him to wear a different shirt and she thinks that it's good for him to be uncomfortable at times. Howard said that JD must be wild in bed. Howard said he has done some weird stuff with girls on the internet. Howard made up some stuff. Chad said he can see girls going wild when JD mumbles into their pussy. JD told him to shut up.
Howard asked JD if he's wild or freaky in bed. JD said it can be both. Howard did his impression of JD and made up stuff that he'd do to a girl. Fred was doing it too. Howard said Ronnie might have to mentor JD. Robin said that maybe he could straighten him up.
Howard brought up the time JD asked a web cam girl to have her dog lick peanut butter off her pussy. JD told Howard he doesn't have to bring that up again. Howard said he did it. He told him to just accept it. JD told them they don't have to worry about what's going on with him. Howard made up more crazy stuff like sticking a plunger up a girl's pussy.
Howard said he had to go. Chad thanked them for getting that Justin Bieber song parody stuck in his head for the day. Howard let him go and played a JD song parody.
Howard said that woman was fired up. He said she threw the gays under the bus without them even asking about that. Howard said she doesn't know anyone who was raped by their uncle and got pregnant. Howard said you know she's a liar. JD said they have interviewed that woman before. He said they had her talking about how Monster energy drinks being satanic. Howard said she got all fired up for the pope. Howard said they asked the woman if she could go back in time and stop Hitler from being born by an abortion, would she do it. In the clip she said no because it brought a prophecy about that sent the Jews back to Israel. Howard said that so many of our boys died fighting that war. Howard said that so many 18-20 year olds died fighting the Nazis.
Howard played another clip of this woman talking about who she thinks goes to hell. Howard said these people never got the message about tolerance. Howard said this woman is more definite now than ever. Howard played another clip where the woman talks about how being gay is a choice. She said that it's an abomination to the lord. Howard said she's so angry. Howard said you know she's never gotten her ass eaten.
Howard played another clip where the woman talked about how she would love her child if it was gay but she would not enable it. She said she would not attend his wedding. She said she would try to get him to stop that activity. Howard said everyone was fired up there at the pope visit. Howard had a clip of a Muslim guy talking about how he's not excited about it. He said he's not gay but he was forced to be gay. Howard said he's not sure what the guy is talking about. Howard said that guy will admit to anything with a microphone in front of him. Howard said he has a guy who was selling pope t-shirts. Howard said they asked what he was going to do with the money. Howard played the clip and the guy said he's not going to donate the money. He said he's going to get some weed and drink some wine.
Howard said he has the clip of that woman from earlier talking about how Monster Energy drinks are satanic. Howard played a few seconds of that but he cut it off saying it's too long. He said that's crazy talk.
Robin asked what's worse, the St. Patrick's Day Parade of those people. Howard said the people at the parade are drunk so they have an excuse for sounding crazy.
Howard said he was in a huff last night. He said he has to change his whole lifestyle. Robin said he has to get all of those contraptions to tell his stress levels. Howard said Dr. Agus' first book was good. He said he wants to live until he's 300 so he has to read the second one. Howard said he and Robin are Dr. Agus experts. He said he had to go to break after that.
Howard said Andy Cohen is going to be in later. Howard said he has his own channel up there now and he's going nuts with all of that. Howard said he was all happy to be there on the first day but on the fourth day he seemed like he was tired of it. Howard said he's going to grill Andy when he comes in. Howard said he's a good dude. Howard said he's not sure what he's doing with that channel. He said they gave him his own channel so he can develop Housewives type shows for them. They went to break a short time later.
Howard asked how old these idiots are. Gary said Rapaport Photoshopped Jason's head on Ned Beatty's head in the Deliverance rape scene. Howard said JD is thinking of leaving the league. He can't take the shaming. Howard said he played that Rapaport's Delight song. Howard said he's talking about beating the shit out of people in that song. Howard played it again and said that Rapaport spends a lot of time on Gary.
Howard asked Gary about the Mets since they're doing so well lately. They spent a little time talking about that.
Howard said he was at a Knicks game and JB Smoove was there but he wasn't in the front row. Howard said if he retires from Sirius he's not going to get those floor seats anymore. Howard said that JB is a funny guy. He said he thought for sure that he'd be second row. Howard said Woody Allen is like 10 rows back but he owns those seats. Howard said he has to rely on the kindness of strangers. Howard said he's a hero with Beth because she played basketball in high school. Howard said she asks him a question about the game and he thinks she could beat him in a game. Howard said she played her whole life playing and watching her brother play. Howard said he acts like he knows what's going on but he is mostly woman so he doesn't know. Howard said once in a while he'll sit next to Tracy Morgan or Chris Rock who know about the game and they know what's going on.
Howard said he would be humiliated to sit in the second row. He said he has to be in the first row. Howard said that's how you know where you are in show business. Howard said Taylor Swift comes to the game and brings all of her friends with her. He said she has a Bat Mitzvah wherever she goes. Howard said she has her famous model buddies with her. He said he was sitting next to some famous girl who bonded with Paris but no one bonded with him.
Howard said he just sits there like a shlub when the other guys are getting up and getting into the game. Howard said he tries to get to know some of the players and stuff. He said he knows the white guy David Lee. Gary told Howard some information about him and what he was getting paid.
Howard said he's trying to think of who else was in the second row at the games. He said Piers Morgan was one. He said he bets Bill O'Reilly is in the second row. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said he got the new iPhone. He said it does nothing new. Howard said he guesses he's excited about having a new phone but he feels like he just gave them a couple hundred bucks for nothing. Howard said it used to matter when they came out with a new phone. Howard said all he knows is that the Wi-Fi is so bad that there is no signal outside. Howard said he doesn't think it has anything to do with the phone. He said that's the service you have. Howard said he heard the phone is better but he doesn't care about that. He said he took some test shots and it's okay. Howard said he heard Siri will do more for you but he doesn't use Siri that much. Howard said it actually weighs more than the last one. He said they usually get lighter but this one is heavier. Howard said maybe this one is sturdier. He said he doesn't know what's going on.
Howard said he tried watching Dancing with the Stars last night but he doesn't care about anyone but Gary Busey. He said it looks like his eyes are going to pop out of his head. Howard said that girl he dances with looks like she goes home, cries and showers for 3 hours. Howard said Gary isn't dancing well on the show. He said the judges tell him he's great though. Howard said he thinks they're afraid of him. Robin said that's bizarre. Howard said he looks like e he's capable of anything.
Howard said Fred looked up and found that it was Kate Upton who was at the game. Howard said Amanda Seyfried was there next to him. He said she said hello but she bonded with Taylor Swift. Howard said Kate Upton sat in their seats when they left. Howard said she was in the front row but she moved to his seats when they left. Howard said everyone revolves around Taylor Swift like she's the sun.
Howard said he went to Starbucks on his own and Beth was shocked. He said he was so uncomfortable there. He said the kid behind the counter had his eyes popping out of his head. Howard said he had a lot of questions about what size to order.
Mark asked Howard if he thinks that JD would ever get married. Howard said he can't imagine that. Howard said JD is a good dude. He said he's not sure how well wired he is. Howard asked JD what love is. JD gave him an answer saying it's someone you enjoy being with and you're willing to do things for. Mark said he could say the same thing about a dog. JD told him to shut up. Howard said he thought that was a good answer.
Robin said she worries about JD's ''weirdnesses.'' She said if he had children... JD said marriage and kids are nowhere near coming. Howard said he has seen so many people who have kids and spend time running away from them. He said there are so many who don't even raise their own kids. He said they hire nannies to raise them. Howard said they just aren't into it and they can't admit it. Howard said a lot of people can't handle having kids.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said Jimmy got him some kind of painting about a year ago. He asked if he's going to hang it up when he comes to town again. Howard said this is why people don't like Bobo. He played a song parody about Bobo being boring. Howard said he has answered that question before and the fans have heard the story already. Howard said it's not a good question. He said that's why people don't like him. Gary said that's been asked and answered several times. Howard said Bobo should look at that and think that he shouldn't call in today. Bobo said he hasn't heard him talk about it lately. Howard said he doesn't have to call in every day.
Howard said Bobo is trying to be on Periscope but it's just not good. Bobo said he did some impressions yesterday. Shuli came in and said he's been an associate producer on Periscope lately. He said he's helping Jeff and Bobo out. Howard said Bobo's stuff is pretty lame. Shuli said it's ''off the cuff.''
Howard said this is Bobo doing a routine about the fans calling the cops on Jeff the Drunk. Robin said now they're feeding off each other. Howard played audio of Bobo talking to his viewers and going off on them for sending the cops to Jeff's house.
Howard said he has the feeling that Bobo is doing an impression of him but he's such a bore. Bobo said ''Oh come on.'' Howard said he really is a bore. Howard said that he is so weird. Bobo said if he doesn't like his Scope then he'll take it down. Howard told him to take it down. Shuli said he thinks that Bobo is taking it down because the fans gave his wife shit. Bobo said she went on twice and they give her a hard time. He said she's supporting him and she's a good wife like that. Shuli said she can just hold the camera and not get in front of it.
Howard said Bobo left a Voicemail about haters. He payed the clip of Bobo going off on the haters and saying that they can dislike him and be disenchanted with him. Howard said he's using that word a lot. Howard said he thinks he used it wrong the first time.
Howard said Bobo's toupee is on the phone. Howard took a call from Bobo's Toupee who said that he would like someone to rip him off his head. Bobo's Toupee was the same guy as Jeff the Drunk's Lump. Howard spent a minute with him and asked if he's related to The Lump. Bobo's Toupee said he's not actually.
Howard said Bobo can do whatever he wants with that Periscope. He said it's the lamest thing ever. Bobo said he's taking it down. Howard said this is the problem with technology. He said anyone can have a show even if you suck. Bobo said he's taking it down. Bobo's Toupee was goofing on Bobo and Shuli said one time a bird landed in his toupee at a show they were at. Bobo's Toupee said that Caitlyn Jenner's vagina looks more real than the toupee. Bobo said he's taking a beating there. Bobo's Toupee said that he used to be a raccoons ass hair.
Howard said Jeff the Drunk does one thing kind of funny. He smokes weed and then coughs. Howard said Jeff got on the other day and he said he was going to block people if they ask him to smoke weed. He said then the next day he was smoking weed. Howard played the clip of Jeff saying he was blocking anyone who asked him to smoke. Then 8 hours later he was smoking weed. Howard played both clips. Jeff coughs constantly after smoking a little bit. Bobo's Toupee said how about Bobo smokes some poll on Periscope. Howard said Jeff is still coughing.
Howard took a call from Gonzo who said Jeff blocked him immediately after he followed him. Shuli said that Bobo blocked him when he got on his Periscope. He said Bobo was clueless that he was in the room and he called him a moron and Bobo blocked him.
Howard asked Bobo's Toupee to help Bobo out. Bobo's Toupee said he can get The Lump on the phone too. Howard told him to do that. The Lump got on the phone a second later and sounded exactly like Bobo's Toupee. Howard said he thinks it's better when Jeff is on and The Lump is on. Howard got Bobo's Toupee back on the phone. Howard said he can't believe that Debbie the Pet Lady's bird nested in Bobo's hair. Howard asked why this never came up again. Shuli said they did. Howard wondered if they brought Bobo in there if another bird would nest in there. Shuli said he bets it would. Howard said he doesn't get it with Bobo. He said he should have gotten rid of that wig. Robin said to a bird that toupee looks like a nest. Shuli said to humans it looks like a nest.
Howard asked Bobo if he's bummed out that the toupee talks now. Bobo said he is. Howard said he can't believe a bird nested in his hair. Bobo said it lasted a half hour. Howard asked if they were goofing. Shuli said he had tears running down his face. Bobo said the bird was pecking on his head. Howard said he's like Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy. Howard said he tried watching the cartoon of that movie and he couldn't take it.
Howard asked Bobo's Toupee about getting high from the wig glue. Bobo said it's not a toupee, it's a ''system.'' Howard said they might have to call the toupee ''system'' but Bobo's Toupee said he prefers toupee. Bobo's Toupee said after a day in the Florida sun he smells like High Pitch Eric's asshole. Howard said Bobo has to get maintenance on that wig. Bobo said he has to get it serviced more. Howard asked how often he services him. Bobo's Toupee said it's not often. He said it's like an oil change. Howard said he really has to go.
Gonzo said there's a community on Twitter called ''Blocked by Jeff'' of you've been blocked by Jeff the Drunk. Shuli said there are thousands of people who have been blocked. Gonzo said that Jeff thinks he's a superstar now. Howard let Gonzo, Bobo and Bobo's Toupee go after that. Bobo's Toupee said that he had two pelicans making love on him right now. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said Letterman is on the front page of the NY Post with his big beard. Howard said it's not quite as long as a ZZ Top beard but it's weird. Howard said everyone is publishing the picture. Howard said it kind of works as a disguise. Howard said it's like a big fuck you to women. Howard said he's married but still. He said he finds it disturbing. Robin said it is very bizarre. Howard said he doesn't like shaving when he's on vacation. He said it gets itchy eventually and then you look like a real old man. Howard said his beard hair is grey. Howard said everyone knows what Letterman looks like now. He said maybe Dave's Beard will call in.
Howard said Andy Cohen is there. Howard said Andy has his own channel there at SiriusXM. Howard asked Andy what's going on with Letterman. Andy said you get out of the talk show grind and you grow a beard. He said you don't have to shave and then you're unteathered and all you want is facial hair. Andy said it's happened to him. Howard said he doesn't let it get that long though. Andy said Bravo has given him a couple of notes and one of them is ''shave your beard.'' Howard said some women like it to a degree. Andy said he has grey so it's not that hot. Howard said Letterman's beard is like Gabby Hayes beard. Howard said it's weird. Andy said it's like Castaway beard. Howard said he wonders what that's about. Andy said Dave is retired so he's growing it.
Andy said he's wondering what Letterman is doing all day. He wonders where he is on the scale of misery. Howard said Dave is a miserable guy. Howard said he is too. Andy said he knows. Howard said people abandon him because of that. Howard said there are famous people who are totally disappointed in that. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel has hung in there. Howard said Louis C.K. seems to like him too.
Andy said Whitney Cummings told him that she has stayed at Howard's place and you only get him for about 2 hours. Howard said they had a really good time but he only had about a 2 hour window with Whitney. Howard said she said something nice about him in the paper today. Andy said she said that on his show. Howard said he didn't know that. Howard said he didn't think he was particularly witty tat night.
Howard said he wants to talk about Radio Andy. Andy said he wasn't sure if it was Andy Radio or Radio Andy. Robin said she thinks he went with the right one.
Howard said people have seen Andy up there and he was very peppy the first 4 days. Howard said then by day 4 they saw him and he looked exhausted. Andy said he is exhausted. He said he's not disenchanted though. He said he's not there every day. He said he is there only live on Monday mornings for a couple of hours. He said he records the rest at his other studio. He said he does some music countdown shows and he does some long form interviews at Watch What Happens Live.
Howard asked Andy what else he has going on over there. Andy said that Sandra Bernhard is doing a show every day and it's fantastic. Howard asked if he runs things or does he have someone else doing that. Andy said he doesn't tell her if she's doing anything wrong. He said he wants her to do what she wants. Howard said someone has to tell her if she's off the mark. Andy said Howard is bringing him down. He said he thinks it's about the long haul. He said that he has hired people whose voices he loves and trusts. Howard said he has to critique them though. Andy said they're just getting off the ground. He said he is giving notes.
Andy told Howard about Lance Bass having a show there. Howard said they fucked each other. Howard asked who fucked who. Andy said they're not getting into that. Howard said he should get into it. Howard asked if it's more exciting to fuck a celebrity. Andy said he hasn't fucked that many. Howard asked if he's on Tinder or Grindr. Andy said that Instagram Direct is interesting. He said that he has wound up meeting people that way. He said you can really look at a person's life on Instagram. He said you can tell if someone is a catfish. He said that's someone pretending to be someone they're not. He said if he posted 30 pictures of himself yesterday then it's a fake account. He said you can tell from the way the photos are released.
Howard asked Andy about how he could date him. Andy said he has to capture this audio. Howard asked if he direct messages him on Instagram then what happens. Andy said he is like the UN. He said he will date anyone. He said he needs a job and he has to be independent. He said he likes younger but over 32. Howard said he's 28 so is he in the game. Andy said maybe.
Howard asked if he got sick of lance or did Lance get sick of him. Andy said it never got that far. He said that Lance lives in L.A. and he lives in New York. Howard said he would think that would be such a power couple. Andy said Howard always picks a gay guy and says that.
Howard said he heard that he had a shot at Anderson Cooper but he blew it. Andy said he talked to him on the phone and Anderson could hear him flailing around on the phone. He said he and Anderson are on tour together actually. He said it's so much fun. He said they interview each other. He said they've done 5 dates so far and they're doing more. Andy said they do a 2 hour show. He said they bring things to embarrass the other person and things like that. Howard asked if they ever look at each other and say they should have fucked. Andy said they're way past that. He said they've been friends for about 20 years now. He said they haven't done anything sexual. Howard said he could never do that with a woman and not fuck her. Howard said he'd wonder what the point is.
Howard said Andy ranked every guy on the staff. Howard said that he didn't come in last so he's happy about that. Andy said this made him yearn for KC to be on the staff. Andy said if KC was there he'd be number one. He said he'd be way up there on the list. Howard said KC isn't there but this list is interesting to him. Howard said maybe he'll start at the top. He said that Andy was very honest. Andy said he did this on a flight back from St. Louis. He said he was very honest. Howard said Will is the first one on the list. Andy said he likes it that he's really straight. He said he imagines him wearing Dockers. He said he could fetishize that.
Howard said Fred came in at number 2. Andy said he thinks Fred is great. Fred said Andy is the greatest guest. Andy said he has had a sneaking impression that something happened at his bachelor party. Fred said he wishes he could answer him but he doesn't remember a damn thing. Howard said Gay Rich was sitting on Fred's lap and he stopped them from doing anything. Howard said he thinks it could have gone down.
Howard said number 3 on Andy's list is Howard Stern. Andy said he loves a tall guy. He said he has always maintained that his dick is bigger than he says it is. Howard said it's really not. Howard said he's 6 inches erect. Howard said that he'd give him a rusty trombone if he went out with hi.
Howard said that Richard comes in at 4, Sal at 5 and Jon Hein at number 6. Benjy was at number 7. Howard and Andy went through them quickly. After that it was Jason, Scott, Ronnie, JD and Gary in last. Howard said he was shocked by the Gary thing. Andy said it's like Gary is related to him so he can't put him up there. Here's the full list in order:
Howard said Andy brought up something recently that he was offended by. He said that he pointed out that there are certain comedians who use the expression ''my gays'' and he's not sure who started that. Andy said Kathy Griffin may have started it. He said he never got upset by her saying it. He said the Beverly Hills Housewives were saying it and that's when he got upset by it. He said they were doing a set up party and they said it like 20 times. He said he told them on the air that they're not accessories or handbags.
Howard said he was talking to Brandy Glanville and she told him what she thinks about Andy. Howard played a clip of her talking about how they're not as close as people think they are.
Andy said that she sent him a list of why she thinks it went wrong. Andy said he responded to her and he thinks that they're great now. Howard said Andy developed the whole Housewives franchise. Howard said that people like Brandy are the outrageous ones and they eventually go over the line. Andy said that if a housewife pissed him off that's one thing. He said it's when they piss off the audience. He said the issue with Brandy was that she got isolated over two seasons. He said she was on an island and no one wants to be with her. He said he loves retribution and he thought this season was going to be that for her.
Howard asked about Kim Richards and what's going on with her. Andy said that they wanted to turn the cameras off and let her get better.
Howard said he loves it when the other women hate Brandy. He asked if they're going to bring her back. Andy said he would like to. He said he hopes that it's a done deal. Andy said that the women can make a nice salary being on the show. He said they don't all become famous. Howard said he thinks there's a pecking order there. He said Andy has said that these women are like his Wack Pack. Andy said that they are his Wack Pack. He said that his show has evolved into something other than that. Howard asked why he can't get into the other housewives shows. Andy said he should.
Howard talked to Andy about some of the other Housewives shows and how great the ratings have been with the Atlanta show. Howard asked if they have a talent scout that goes out looking for these women. Andy said they have a casting agent who finds these people who are friends of other women that they know.
Howard said it's going to be interesting to see how his Radio Andy channel goes. Andy said that there are no Housewives on the channel but they have one woman who imitates the Housewives. Howard said this is Radio Andy and not just Bravo with Andy.
Howard said Andy is a fan of the Howard Stern Show and he says that he's not a fan of Jeff the Drunk's Periscope. Andy said he doesn't like that ''Cheeeeellllo'' is in his vernacular. He said he doesn't want that. Howard said he must feel responsible for Periscope because he brought these regular people to TV and gave them some fame. Andy said he was going to Periscope in the back of his car and his mother asked what that was and if it was another place for him to broadcast his ego.
Howard said when you do a reality show people know they're going to be on TV. Howard said he hated Periscope when Howie Mandel used it. Howard said if he's having a private conversation and it gets broadcast then what? Andy asked about what happens when porn is on Periscope. Howard said it's weird stuff.
Howard said Andy went to Allison Williams' wedding. Andy said he did. Howard asked if there is a weirdness in the air about Brian Williams. Howard said Brian wasn't the guy we thought he was. Howard asked if everyone is in denial about it. Andy said that all of their friends love them very much. Andy said he has met Brian a few times and he's so nice. He said Brian was just the proud dad at the wedding. Howard asked if he got into the MSNBC thing. Andy said Brian talked about how he was going on the air the next week. Howard asked if Brian made a toast and told some war stories. Andy said he didn't but he did make a great toast. He said it was a father giving a toast for his daughter. Howard asked if he wondered if his stories about his daughter were true or false. Andy just said ''Oh my god...''
Howard asked what he got Allison for a gift. Andy said they ask for nothing. Howard said he's gone to parties where they say no gifts and he gets a gift. Andy asked what he gave Aniston. Howard said they got them an article of clothing but they were no-gifts too. He said he did a painting for them too. Howard said Beth got Jen an outfit. He said he won't say what it was.
Howard said that Andy must have been so happy being at that wedding. Howard said that he will tell who was there. Howard said Andy was there. He said John Mayer was there. Howard said Andy is buddies with John. Andy said John is joining the Grateful Dead and it's going to be called Dead and Company. Howard said he heard he took John to a gay bar on a road trip they were on. Andy said he did and John was a great wing man. He said no one was hitting on John. Howard asked if he has converted any straight guys. Andy said he has not.
Howard said Katy Perry, Tom Hanks, Bruce Springsteen, Lena Dunham and more were at the wedding. Howard asked what he says to Bruce there. Andy said he was talking to Bruce's wife Patty and she said that one of their kids works at Sirius. Andy said Bruce has a channel there too. He said that he was very nice. Andy said that Bruce had no idea who he was.
Howard asked Andy if he's fun at these things. Andy said he thinks he is. Andy said that they get high in the bathroom. He said everyone was cool. Howard asked if Lena Dunham was cool. Andy said she was. Howard asked if she hit the vape pen. Andy said she did not. He said that she gave a great toast at the wedding. Howard asked if he got up and said anything. Andy said he did not. He said they had old friends getting up and saying things. Howard asked if Lena got naked. Andy joked that she did. Howard asked how long he stayed. Andy said it was in Wyoming so he was there for 2 days. Howard said you have to know the wedding is going to be good to go on a destination wedding. Andy said he said he'd go if Katy Perry went.
Howard asked Andy why he was at the final Colbert Report. Andy said he did the sing along they did at the end. He said it was cool. He said he met some cool people there. Andy said he talked to the mayor and the first lady. He said he talked to a bunch of people there.
Howard said he loves talking to Andy. He said he's so much fun. Andy asked Howard if he has heard from Eric the Actor's family since he passed. Howard said he has not. Andy asked if he's gotten anywhere with the contract there. Howard said he thinks there is more to contribute there but he hasn't signed anything yet. He said he is anxious to stay a part of it if they have the right terms. Howard said he loves Sirius and he's proud of it. Andy asked why he can't do the show from 10am to 2. Howard said he kind of feels like doing a show in the morning is what they do and it's their rhythm. Howard said he has talked to Jim Meyer who runs the company. Howard said he moved the show to 7 and that's been better. Howard said he speaks to Jim but Andy speaks to Scott Greenstein. He said some day maybe he'll be able to speak to Jim. Howard said he loves Jim. He said he's a very nice man. Howard said he likes the people there. He said that's part of his comfort zone. Howard said he doesn't want to spin his wheels. He said there are ways to make his life easier there and they have tried to do that for him.
Howard gave Andy a plug for his Radio Andy channel that's on channel 102. Andy said that he has heard a lot of the stuff on 100 and 101 so try changing it to 102 to hear ''the other Jew.'' Howard said that he feels like he's part of his team. Howard said even if he has a shitty show they have so many other things there to listen to. Andy said Howard's show doesn't often blow. Howard said it does occasionally. Andy said if they spend too much time on ''Cheeeelllloo'' then it might blow.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk and told him what Andy is saying about that. Jeff said he has about 53,000 people signed up to watch his Periscope. Jeff said ''Chello bitches!'' Andy said that he would watch Radio Hanzi. He asked if Hanzi has been banned. Howard said of course he hasn't.
Andy got in some plugs and said you can get info about the tour he's doing with Anderson Cooper at AC2Live.com
Howard asked if Andy was at Lance Bass' wedding. Andy said he was invited but he had to work. He said that he would have gone. Andy said he also has Watch What Happens Live going on. He said the Housewives shows are going great. Howard said he could retire on that. Andy said he wouldn't want to retire. Howard said the money from that alone could let him retire. Andy said he's doing okay. Howard said he wonders what he's worth. Andy said he does too. Howard said he wants to guess. He tried to figure it out. Andy said there's one person making all of the money at Sirius. Howard said it's Robin. Andy said he's looking at him.
Howard guessed that Andy is worth 10 million all in. Andy said he's not sure what to say to that. Howard asked if he's in the ballpark. Andy said he is in the ball park. Howard asked what he does with the money. Andy said he has a great apartment thing going on in the West Village now.
Andy asked if Howard's parents listen to his show. Howard said they don't have Sirius. Howard said his mother told him they got rid of it. He said he was happy they got rid of it. Andy said that he did a bit where his dad was eating out his mom. He wondered if his daughters listen. Howard said they don't. He said they have other things they do. Howard said he's very proud of them. He said they're better people than he is. Howard said he's close with them and they get along very well with Beth too. Howard said he feels like he's in a good place professionally. He said he's at a ''noine.''
Andy asked if his therapist is back after his summer off. Howard said he is. Andy said he felt so bad for Robin. He said Robin is a great therapist. He said she knows Howard better than anyone. Howard agreed. He said that she should do her Whitney Houston for them. Robin said no to that but Howard asked Fred play her singing. Fred said he can't find it. He said he's searching all over and he can't find it. Howard said the guys in the back put her up singing Stayin' Alive again.
Howard wrapped up with Andy and gave him some advice on getting Allison Williams a gift for her wedding. Andy said Howard sent him a drawing of himself when he was on the show last. He said he loves this pencil sketch that he sent. Howard said he should give that to Allison Williams. Fred found Robin singing Whitney Houston's ''I Will always Love You'' and played it for Andy. Andy said it was a little pitchy at the end. He said it's not that horrible. Robin said she thinks he has a problem. Howard wished Andy luck with his new radio venture. Howard said he's glad Scott Greenstein signed him. Howard went to break a short time later. They played Jewel singing ''Who Will Save Your Soul'' as they went to break.
Howard said he took a picture with Cindy Crawford yesterday and he put that on his own computer. He said Cindy looked good. Howard said Beth thought they made a good looking couple. Howard said he was critical of himself in the photo. He said he showers before he comes to work but then puts his headphones on so his hair looks really weird. Howard said he tries to fix it before a photo but it looks weird when he's doing it. Howard said Cindy has her mole but he has his nose.
Howard said he read Cindy Crawford's book and she did a cover where she was on with KD Lang. Howard said they did a kind of lesbian looking photo and then the gay rumors came out about Richard Gere. Howard said they had to issue a statement saying that they were straight. Howard said he didn't ask her about that yesterday. Howard said there was just too much to get to. Howard said that mole Cindy has is so cute but then it's on someone like Ralph and it's gross.
Howard said it's time for news with Robin. They played Robin into it with a song parody by Psych. Fred said there's another rumor about the Richard Gere gerbil story and they say Sylvester Stallone may have started it. He said they didn't get along on the set of a movie they did together.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw the clip of him with the kids that he did on America's Got Talent. He said it was cool seeing him in that light. Howard said it's not cool to see him in any light. He said NBC asked him to do so many production pieces and he said no. He thought the kids thing would be funny looking. Howard said the real master plan is the remake of Kindergarten Cop. The caller said he was at one of the last shows for America's Got Talent. He said that he met Mariann and Medicated Pete with Sour Shoes too. Howard said he was shocked that parents would let him near their kids. Howard said it's crazy. Robin said they see you on a network TV show and they think it's okay. Howard said the kids loved him. He said they were hugging him. He said he didn't meet them before they shot that stuff.
Robin said Howard went along with the kids saying that he was a model. Howard said he told them he was Harry Styles dad. He said the kids had no idea who that was.
Robin read that today is national coffee day. Howard said he read it's being served free at some places but not all. Robin said she thinks they were doing it at Starbucks. Robin said they have it at Dunkin' Donuts too. Robin read about the promotions going on at different places. Howard said he likes Starbucks. He asked Fred what he likes. Fred said he likes the stuff at a local Deli over Starbucks. Howard said he's jacked for the day after drinking a cup of Starbucks.
Howard asked JD if he drinks coffee. JD said he has problems with his stomach after drinking McDonald's. Howard played a song parody about JD's mumbling. That was by Daniel Mendelson.
Robin read about how Burger King has a Halloween Whopper with a pitch black bun. Howard read about how much money Dunkin' Donuts makes from their coffee sales. He said they should be selling coffee. Robin read more about the black bun and how Burger King says A-1 Steak Sauce is baked into it.
Robin read a story about a school system that has decided that football is too dangerous. Howard found a song parody that was ''Black Hole Buns'' so he played that. It was about Robin of course. Howard said he knew that song was out there. Robin read more about the football thing. Howard said in 20 years football won't be around. Robin said they have banned the sport from a high school in Missouri. Robin read about a high school football player who died over the weekend. Robin said he suffered from massive internal bleeding. Robin said the boy was 17 years old and he had an abnormally large spleen and that led to it being more susceptible to tearing. Robin said there was no evidence of head trauma and it was deemed an accidental death. Howard said that would explain a lot about Baba Booey. He said he played football when he was in high school. Howard played a Baba Booey song parody. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about how Yogi Berra's funeral is today and it will be broadcast on a couple of sports channels. Howard said now Yogi is in heaven saying stupid things. Howard said he admires him for his service to baseball but also in World War II.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who his top super models of all time were. He got off the line immediately. Howard picked Cindy Crawford. Fred said Kate Moss is supposed to be hot too. Fred put Robin in there too. Howard said he's going with Cindy at number 1. Fred asked where Naomi Campbell is. Howard said he doesn't think about Naomi that much. He went with Elle McPherson too. Howard said that they called her ''the Body.'' Robin asked about Heidi Klum. Fred said she's not quite a supermodel. He said she might be a ''power model'' which is a term he saw. Howard said Heidi was big. He said Fred said that they have to do the big magazines, get endorsement deals and marry a rock star. Fred said Seal is not a good looking rock star. Howard said he doesn't care that much about models. Robin mentioned Claudia Schiffer. They brought up Twiggy too.
Robin read about how the college that gave Bill Cosby his honorary degree has rescinded it. Robin said they say that he doesn't live up to the school's expectations anymore. Robin said that's what they told the students at Brown University.
Robin read a story about the verdict being issued in the Shawskank case. Robin said the woman who helped two convicted killers escape is going to spend 2 years behind bars. Howard said that's not enough. He said they have to be kidding. He said that should be a life sentence. Howard asked if this is Mexico. Robin had audio of the announcement. Howard said that he might have to run for office again.
Howard read about a guy who drank from the same glass as the pope. Howard said it's so creepy. He asked if he'd let the pope pee on him too.
Robin read a story about Kenny Rogers and how he's not going to be touring anymore. Robin said that he says he has to stay home and help his wife raise his kids. Robin said she has some audio to play. Howard interrupted with a caller who said he got 5-8 years for pot possession. Howard said that guy got more time than this woman who helped killers escape from prison. Howard asked the caller how many murderers he helped escape. The caller said zero. Robin said the thing is that we declared war on drugs. Howard said he's declaring war on skanks. They played Kenny Rogers and The First Edition's ''Just Dropped In (To See What My Condition Was In)'' and Howard was talking to the song. He said that would be an interesting format on radio where you talk to the song.
Robin had some audio of Kenny Rogers talking about why he's retiring from touring. He said he's taking the time to spend with his kids. Howard asked how old the kids are. Robin said he's really old but he has some young kids. Howard said he's 77. Robin said the kids are 2 and 3. Howard asked how he's going to help them. He said it sounds more like the kids are going to have to help him. Howard said Willie Nelson is still spry and doing his thing. Howard said nothing seems to bother him. Robin said Kenny is 77 and his wife is 30-something. Fred said he thinks the kids are 10. He said they're twins. Howard said Larry King had to get out of the house. He said now Larry is doing a show that no one listens to. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a guy at JFK airport who was looking for Pope Francis and he was holding a knife. Robin said he was pretending to be part of a VIP motorcade. Robin said he is a former fire fighter.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was at an airport and Kenny Rogers walked by him. He said he went to the bathroom at the same time. He said he was shorter than he thought so he thought he might be an impersonator. He said he had a huge member that was dark in color. Howard said thank god he got through with that information. Howard said it's possible it wasn't even him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he travels a lot on business. Howard interrupted and asked if he's Greek. The guy said he is. Howard said he can tell from his accent. The caller said in 2007 he was in Tokyo trying to get back to the states. He said he sees Cindy next to him. He said when he got married he picked a free pass and that was his free pass. Howard cut the guy off again and said he knows this is going to be the worst story. The caller said that he tried to reach Cindy in the VIP room and he calls his wife. Robin said you know he didn't get her. Howard said the noose is hanging from the ceiling. The caller said he told his wife he was invoking his free pass and she told him to do whatever he wants and hangs up. That was the story. Howard made snoring sounds. The caller said that's what he told the phone screeners. Howard said he's like the great Bobo. The caller, John, said that he was talking to the people there about their app. He was going on and on and Howard made snoring sounds again. Howard said he has to get out of this. He let the guy go. Howard said that was his first call to the show and hopefully the last. Fred played an Alex Trebek clip where he says ''Dickweed.'' Howard thought it was Charlie Sheen.
Robin read a story about an announcement that Chris Christie is going to be making today. Robin said it's going to be a surprise. Howard said ''Uh oh.''
Robin had some audio of Donald Trump talking about his tax plan. Robin read about some of the stuff he said too.
Robin read a story about NASA scientists revealing that they have found water on Mars. Howard said that means they could use the planet to fuel up to get to other planets. Robin had a clip of a scientist talking about their findings. Robin said they think Mars had oceans billions of years ago and they're not sure what happened. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Bernie Sanders and how he's doing well in the polls. Robin had some audio of Bernie talking about this country being the only one that doesn't guarantee paid family and medical leave. Howard said Hillary must be freaking out about this guy. Howard said she must feel ridiculous. Robin read more about what Bernie has been saying lately. Howard said Bernie defended them to the FCC so he can't forget about that guy.
Robin read a story about Stephen Colbert's show from last night. Howard said he likes Stephen's new show. Howard said it's cool. Robin said that Michelle Obama was on Colbert's show last night. Robin had some audio of Michelle talking to Stephen about how she'd like to be able to open her car window but she cant do that yet.
Robin read a story about Paul Walker's daughter going after Porsche for her father's death. Robin said her case says that Porsche knew the car he was riding in had instability issues. Howard said he thought they were going too fast. Robin said that they're saying that the seat belt broke his ribs and kept him from escaping the car when it caught fire.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Howard is so cool because he was interviewing people who create the little bumps on the sidewalk and he made that entertaining. The caller said that guy sounds just like Hank. Howard thanked the guy for the call. Howard had to hang up on him. He said he's a nice guy but he's trying to keep the show moving. Howard said he called in to say he makes everyone entertaining but he wasn't able to make him entertaining.
Robin said Kansas is making this week Zombie Preparedness Month. Robin said they're saying they know that zombies won't happen but they want people to be prepared for disasters.
Robin read a story about Hulk Hogan suing Gawker.com for posting video of a home video sex tape. Robin said the hearing is taking place on Thursday. Howard said it must be cool to work for the FBI. He said they get into some weird shit.
Robin read a story about Matt Damon getting into some trouble on his press tour for The Martian. Robin said that he was saying that if you're straight or gay no one should know anything about your sexuality. Robin said he tweeted that out and he went on Ellen to say that he meant that every actor should keep their sex lives secret. Howard said you have to be so careful about what you say.
Robin read that Kaley Cuoco is splitting with her husband Ryan Sweeting. Robin asked how long you have to be married to have a normal divorce. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said some people let it get really bad before they give up. Robin said she was married 21 months. Howard said she was probably getting married and wondering if she was doing the right thing. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon said he thinks JD should marry her. He said that when you meet certain couples you know they're right for one another. He said he thinks that JD and his girl are that couple. Jon said he thinks that they'll stick as a couple. Jon said that JD would have ended it quickly if he didn't have feelings for her. He said he gives a strong yes vote to them getting married.
Gary said he thinks that she's a lovely woman. He said JD doesn't go into anything quickly though. Gary said he's trying to say this without insulting JD. He asked where he's going to find a girl better than her. Jon said that's totally insulting. Gary said that he's spent so much time trying to find a woman and he finally found a nice one. He said that he should marry her but maybe not tomorrow. Jon said that's what he was saying too. He said he thinks they're ready though. Gary said they're not even in the same city. Gary said that he knows couples who have tried that long distance thing and it hasn't worked out well.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has a hard and fast rule. He said you do not wear opposing team colors when you go to someone's house. Gary said he agrees with him. He said he went to the Yankee game and it wasn't with the Mets. He said it's not right to wear a jersey like that. Gary said if you show up with that shirt on at a Baltimore game you're asking for trouble. Brent Hatley said he has done that at baseball games and he's had no problems. Gary said it might depend on the area you're in too. Jon said that Philly fans are very passionate and he'd never do that there. Jon said that Brent is a military guy who has probably had his fair share of scraps but JD hasn't had that. He said that it's like looking for trouble. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said they talked about the Letterman beard and he wonders if Gary lets his go when they're off. Gary said that he ended up with the facial hair he has now because he didn't shave on vacation. Gary said he ended up keeping what he has on his face after that. Jon asked if Howard would ever do that beard thing. Gary said he doesn't think Howard likes it. He said Letterman and Jon Stewart are just doing it because they can.
Jon said Andy ranked the staff and Will Murray came out on top. Jon said that isn't a surprise. Jon said in the past Gary has done pretty well in the past. Gary said he might be getting a little long in the tooth. He said he's 54 years old now. Gary said he wasn't insulted at all over that. Gary said he and Andy have developed a friendship and he thinks he looks a little like Andy so maybe he wants variety.
Jon said that Howard came in third and he was shocked by that. Gary said he was surprised Benjy did as well as he did. He said they warned Andy that Will might get upset and punch him over that. Andy said he'd be happy about that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Bobo did another Periscope. He said people are telling him not to quit. Gary said he thinks Bobo was sick of doing it and he wanted a way out. He said he thinks he got the out from Howard by asking if he wanted him to give it up. He said this is a great way to give it up and save face. Jon asked if he thinks Bobo would do it again if Howard told him to. Gary said he would because he's going to listen to anything Howard tells him to.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves the Periscope stuff. He said he doesn't have a Twitter account but he checked out Periscope. He said he's been watching Jeff the Drunk. He said he and his wife watch it. He said it's great.
Gary asked how often Jeff is on. The caller said he's on all day. Gary apologized to Jeff for being wrong about the statement he made yesterday about Jeff being the driver in his accident. Gary said Jeff has to be eating up a lot of data with the Periscope. He wondered who is paying that bill. Jon said he doesn't know what's going on there.
Jon said that Andy Cohen was upset about Jeff's ''Chello'' greeting. Gary said his wife doesn't like it either. He said he answered his phone when his son called saying ''Chello'' and his wife told him to shut up. They spent a little more time on that and then went to break.
Jon asked Chuck about the poll they have going on today. Chuck said he thinks that he should get hitched. He said he should bring her to meet the other half of the family. Gary said they do want them to get hitched so maybe wait. Chuck laughed. Jon asked if JD is happier in general these days. Chuck said he is and he's out doing things he never would have done before. Chuck said he thinks it's great and he loves it. Gary said he is a totally different person than he was before he met her. Gary said he's trying food he never would have tried before. Jon said she is bringing out the best in him. Jon thanked Chuck for calling in. Gary asked for him to honk the horn in his truck. Chuck did it for him.
Jon said Chuck sounds proud of his son. Gary said a JD wedding would be an insane event. He said Howard would go. Jon said he can't think of another person that he's sure Howard would go to. Jon said Gary is expecting to be invited. Gary said he's not only expecting to be invited but he'll be 5th in the groomsman line. Gary said they're his only friends.
Jon said he's wondering if they would want to do a wedding like that. Gary said JD does seem like one of those city hall wedding guys. Jon said Fred did something similar by getting married on a beach without any of them there. Jon asked if people would be pissed at JD for doing that. Gary said he doesn't think so. He said Howard would think it was odd but thank him for not making him go out in public. Gary said if he did it and only one of them was there then there would be more resentment.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that ''Chello'' stuff is stuck in his head too. Jon said people get pissed. The caller said it doesn't bother him. He said that dude makes him feel good because he's such a dumb ass. He said he's never seen him on Periscope though. He said he just listens to what they play.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he is disabled and he has like a $29 plan for his internet. He said that it's not crazy expensive to do the show over Wi-Fi. He said he thinks Jeff is just trying to fleece people saying it's really expensive. Gary said he thinks he heard he doesn't have Wi-Fi in the house so he's just paying the phone bill. He said he thinks Jeff is doing that. Jon said hopefully they'll get to the bottom of that.
Jon went to Rahsaan for the results of the poll. Rahsaan said that they got a ton of comments on the poll. He read some of those. He said 58 percent said JD should get married. Only 10 percent said he should not and he should keep his options open.
Jon and Gary spent a little more time talking about JD's possible marriage and then wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:55am.
Howard started the show talking about his new headphones that he was testing out. Howard did his ''testing, testing, one, two...'' like Spyder Harrison. Howard said they're the same as his last headphones but they shouldn't pull his hair out like the last set did. Howard said it sounds okay but not as good. He said he'll try to get used to it. He said it's his burden. He said he'd let Robin know if they're any good.
Robin said that she has asked for the inner ear headphones. Howard said that's not what they're called. Fred said they're called Ultimate Ear. Howard said he still doesn't know to speak into the microphone. Fred said he was just looking something up. Howard said he always has to ask him to talk into the microphone. He said Fred is shy. Howard said he thinks he's heard enough from Fred.
Howard said he has to get into the meat of the show. He said there's a lot to talk about and a lot to do. He said now that he thinks about it there's not that much to do. He said he was just sitting there listening to phony phone calls. Howard said he will also mention that it's the 30th anniversary of their firing from WNBC. Fred played their WNBC intro from those days. Fred played some music for Howard to introduce as if he were back at WNBC. Then they played John Hayes' announcement WNBC made when they fired Howard from the station.
Howard said that they broke into a shitty song after that announcement. Howard said that was the voice of someone who never entertained anyone and never had to get a rating point. Howard said he always thought Hayes was an older guy. Howard said he was 29 himself at the time. Howard said when Hayes fired him he thinks he couldn't have been much older than him. He said maybe 40 at the oldest. Fred said he was 36. Howard said he was like a country club guy. Fred said he thinks his father was in steel or something. Robin said he was making his mark doing that. Howard said he thinks they thought they were going to nip him in the bud. Howard said they offered him $50,000 to go to L.A. and never work in New York. Howard said at the time it was a lot of money. He said that's about as much as he was making a year. He said he's not sure if he was even allowed to come back and visit.
Howard said the whole station tanked after that. Robin said now there's no WNBC. Howard said John Hayes wasn't the one making the final decision but he did want him gone. Howard said he said to him that Robin wasn't to read the news anymore. Howard said John told him she had to do it the right way or they'd bring in another news reader. Howard said he had number 1 ratings in the afternoon and he must know something. Howard said maybe the rest of the news crew should do it the way Robin was doing it. Howard said if you look at it now that's what they're doing. Howard said back then no one was doing that. Howard said he told John that she should read the news all day on the station. Howard said John hated him for that. He said he didn't go along with that.
Howard said to John he was just a pain in the ass. Howard said John took great pleasure in being a dick. Howard said not as much as pig virus though. Howard said Pig Virus is dead now. Howard said he died at the radio station he was working at. Howard said he doesn't say that with any joy. Howard said Kevin was mean to them but he was mean to everyone. Robin said he was friendly with Mr. Imus.
Howard said he'd love to make the John Hayes story movie. He said it would be the most boring movie ever. Howard said you'd see him firing Howard Stern and then see what he does after that. Howard said he gets to mold the station in his image and the ratings go down every day. Howard said that the whole station crumbles around him. Howard said at the end of the movie he gets rewarded by owning a couple of radio stations. Howard said everyone else goes down but John. Howard said it's like the ship goes down but the captain saves himself.
Robin said they used to tell Howard they couldn't find advertisers for the show. That's what happened after they fired him. Howard said that Mel Karmazin told him they'd sell out every ad space during his show. Howard said Mel made him that guarantee. He said he'd fire any salesman who said it can't be done. Howard said sure enough they got there.
Howard said you'll hear all of this history on Sternthology today. Howard played John Hayes firing announcement again. Howard said that they were going to have a station that no one listens to after firing him. Howard said WNBC is like a pretty girl who sits there in fear of being raped. He said they were uncomfortable with success. Howard said maybe that's not a good analogy. Howard said they finally had something people cared about and instead of embracing it they just let it go.
Howard wondered if anyone wrote to them after that. Howard said just listen to the dead air after that announcement. Robin asked if that's how bad the station sounded. Howard said of course. Robin said she's shocked anyone listened. Howard counted the dead air time which was about 5 seconds. Howard said it was such a dysfunctional station.
Howard said many people have written about how John Hayes had the delivery of a coma patient. Gary told Howard the audio sounded so shitty is because they kept playing that announcement all day long and he recorded it on a cassette. He said they ran it every hour on the hour. Howard said that's cool. Howard said it's great that Gary thought about it and recorded it. Howard said Gary thought about saving that horrible message for posterity.
Gary said they asked for letters but probably threw them away. Howard said they probably got 5 letters. Howard said no one really cared. Howard said they let him go back and pack up his stuff and there wasn't that much. He said he packed it up and went outside. Howard said there was a person with a folding table with a petition saying they were upset he was fired. Howard said he read the petition and it had 3 signatures on it. Howard said he told the guy to go home, no one cares. Howard said Jerry Nachman walked by and he used to work at WNBC. Howard said Jerry saw him and asked what was going on. Howard said he told him he got fired and Jerry just said ''okay, bye'' and walked to work. Howard said they had to stand out on the street getting shamed that day. Robin said they didn't have a car to take them home.
Ralph said he can't talk on the air about what's going on. Howard asked if it's family stuff. Ralph said no. He said that it's reality stuff but it's stuff going on with his head. Howard said he wants to be serious and find out what's going on. Howard asked Ralph some questions to find out what's going on. He asked if he swallowed a bad load. Ralph said see, that's what he's talking about.
Ralph said there's just one more episode of The Strain left. He said that's what's wrong. Howard asked if he's watching Gotham. Ralph said he's all caught up and the show is great. Howard asked if he's gotten the new iPhone. Ralph said he did. Howard said he doesn't think there's anything new. Howard said the pressure sensitive thing doesn't work on all the apps. He said they have to have it built in. Ralph said all of the Apple apps do it. Howard said he doesn't use many of those apps. He said they say the camera is better too. Howard said he doesn't see it. Ralph asked why he has it then. Howard said he's Howard Stern and he has to have the new thing.
Howard said he gave his daughter the old phone and she loves it. Robin said her's is glitchy. She said she has to tap it like 5 times to get it to do something. Robin said she has the 6s. Howard said he hears they have the iPhone 7 coming out in a year. He said if it picks out clothes then Ralph is fucked.
Howard asked Ralph what he wants. Ralph said as bad as NBC was does he appreciate that they brought him there and he met Gary and all of that. Howard said it's not great that they brought him to Oz like in the Wizard of Oz. Howard said they lied to him from the beginning. Howard said he had multiple meetings with them. Howard said he had a great life in Washington DC. He said they told him they were bringing Robin and Fred. He said they lied about that. Howard said no Robin and no Fred. Howard said he was fucked because he was under contract with them. He said from the day he got there they berated him. Howard said he was a hot commodity in New York. Howard said WPLJ wanted him too. Howard said WPLJ was going to put him on at night but he wanted to be on during the day. Howard said NBC pulled the rug out from under him. He said it all turned out well but they were trying to end his career permanently. Howard said without Mel his career would have been over. Howard said they were trying to paint him as unhirable.
Howard said being at WNBC was nothing like being in Viet Nam. He said that was the worst. Robin said something about Ralph not working hard and Ralph said he works harder than she does. He said she does the news and gets half the stories wrong. Howard played a ''Breast Side Story'' commercial parody about Robin singing in a play. Howard said he'd go see that any day.
Howard said he has to give a shout out to Matt Jacobs. Howard said he does impressions of people on their show. Howard said he does impressions of Joey Boots and High Pitch Eric. Howard said he does Jon Leiberman too. Howard said it's a remarkable talent. Howard said he salutes him. Howard said in this clip he's doing all three of those guys. Howard played the clip and Matt did his Jon Leiberman, Joey Boots and High Pitch Eric impressions and had them talking about going to the emergency room for High Pitch Eric because his foot has turned black. Howard said that's good. Robin said it's amazing.
Howard said he has another clip that he waned to play and asked JD about it. JD said he has no idea what that is. Robin said she said hello to JD this morning and he went ''Arrrh.'' Howard said he's done saying good morning to him. He said JD just mumbles to him too.
Howard said this is Matt Jacobs doing his Bobo impression. Howard played that bit and Bobo is on Periscope doing a bit where he falls on a neighbor's giant cock.
Howard said Bobo was on Periscope for one last show. Howard said his wife convinced him to go on for one last show. Howard said Jeff the Drunk is out of his mind with that whole Periscope thing. Howard said Jeff is demanding his own line to call into the show. Howard played a clip of the Voicemail Jeff left for JD telling him to get him an open line now. Robin said he's drunk with power.
Howard played a clip of the real Bobo talking about his ''Scope'' and how he's taking it down. Bobo said that Howard isn't going to tell him to take it down but he knows he'd like it if he did. Howard said it's a sad day. Howard said he didn't tell Bobo to do anything. He said he's told him to take that toupee off and he won't do that. Bobo said he wanted to do one last show for his fans. Bobo said this is it.
Howard said they had a meeting yesterday and talked about how great Bobo would have been in the Three Stooges with all of his pratfalls. Howard played a bit they made using Three Stooges audio mixed with Bobo's stunts.
Howard said he has a lot more of Bobo's Periscope but he thinks it's enough of that. Fred said he thinks Bobo will be back. He said his wife will talk him into it. Howard said Bobo doesn't want the Toupee calling in anymore. Howard played a clip of him talking about how that's going to drive him totally insane. He asked the fans to write in and ask Howard not to have the toupee call in anymore. He asked them to just have Bobo call in alone.
Howard said they received zero tweets about that. Howard said the overwhelming email was about how people love Bobo's Toupee. Howard read through some of the email they got. He said that people were complaining they got the Justin Bieber song stuck in their heads. Robin asked Howard not to play it because it was stuck in her head too.
Howard read an email from a fan who said that Bobo ruins their week when he calls in. Howard said people like Bobo's Toupee. Howard said there you go. Robin said the fans wrote in the other way. Howard read another email about Bobo's Toupee and how they should only have Bobo on if Bobo's Toupee is on with him.
Howard played the ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' song parody to the tune of that Justin Bieber song. Howard said they had a poll about JD getting married. He said Jillian Barberie tweeted that JD should not get married. She said that she knows what happens in a marriage. Howard said JD should take that into consideration.
Howard took a call from a guy who said one of his favorite things is when Howard does his arithmetic. He did the math with Howard's 30th anniversary of being fired but he was 29 and now he's 61. Howard said he was rounding off. Howard told him to get the fuck out of here you asshole. He said he was 30 then. Howard said thanks for keeping him honest. Howard said he doesn't know exactly how old he was. Howard went to break after that.
Howard took a call from Bobo and said he just spent an hour talking about him. Bobo said Howard made a lot of sense yesterday. He said he saw the light about the horrible Periscope. Howard said he's pretty sure Bobo's Toupee is going to call in when he calls. Howard said if he calls he's going to put him on. Howard said Toupee is funny. Howard said he's not sure what he's doing right now but if he can call in he should.
Howard said Bobo hates Toupee. Howard took a call from Bobo's Toupee. Bobo's Toupee said it's hard for him to get to the phone sometimes. He said he has bird shit in his mouth from earlier. Bobo said he's not going to wash under there to get that smelly ass off his head. Bobo's Toupee asked if he's really talking to him as if he's his toupee. He said that's the worst thing that could happen. Bobo's Toupee asked how he feeds and dresses himself.
Howard said he was reading about how Bobo's Toupee has some friends with him there. Bobo's Toupee said he's there partying with Charlie Sheen. He had a Charlie Sheen impersonator there. Howard asked how the Toupee knows him. Bobo's Toupee said sheen gets around. Howard said Toupee is becoming quite a celebrity. Bobo's Toupee said they're going to go meet a Merkin later on today.
Bobo was doing a bit where he talked to the wig as if it were real. Bobo's Toupee said this is the worst. He said he's ruining the segment.
Howard talked to Charlie Sheen and Bobo's Toupee for a minute and then let them go. Howard was going to let Bobo go but Bobo asked something about Howard having something with Beth that led to steamy, hot sex. Howard didn't answer. Bobo's Toupee and Charlie goofed on him and then Howard let them all go.
Howard said he's going to play some audio and have her comment on it. Howard played a clip and Tan Mom was up there to do some stuff for them. Sal asked her if she heard him talking about her the other day. She told everyone in the studio to get out because she wanted to talk to Sal alone. Tan Mom said she loves Sal. Sal said he loves her too. He told her that he's married so he can't do anything with her. Tan Mom said she just came out to say that she's never going to see him again. She said she likes Sal. Sal said he's a married man. She said she really likes him though. Howard said that was a nice moment. Howard asked if Sal betrayed her. She said yes. She felt that he led her on.
Howard said the shit hits the fan in this next part. Howard played more of the audio of Sal and Tan Mom trying to work out their differences. Sal told her not to be like that. Tan Mom told him to change his shirt because it was ugly. Sal said he can do that. Tan Mom was saying that Sal knows that he likes her. Sal said she is an attractive and great person. Tan Mom said if he likes her then he doesn't love his wife. Sal said he loves her very much. Tan Mom told him to never talk to her again then.
Howard said Tan Mom is right. Howard said Sal was coming on to her strong and she finally said to him that it's time for him to leave his wife and kids to be with her. Howard said then he changes his tune. Tan Mom said it's a bunch of bullshit. She said that she would like to be friends but she needed closure. She said that everyone flirts. She said she didn't want to break up his family or anything.
Howard told Sal he wants him to apologize. Sal came in and said that he's very sorry that he misled her. Sal said they had a great time at Howard's birthday show. He said he wants to go on record that he is no longer attracted to her in any way, shape or form. Sal said he has to cut it off with her. Howard said he thinks that he's super attracted to her and he can't handle it. Howard asked if he's right. Tan Mom said he is. She said that they can still be friends though.
Howard played a clip of Sal and Tan Mom talking in the studio. Tan Mom said she's getting the fuck out of there. She told him to go fuck himself. Howard said she doesn't take shit from anyone. She said he's got that square.
Howard said that Sal got super excited when he saw Tan Mom's side meat. Sal said he did and he has to cut this off. Howard said if he loves his wife he can't be fantasizing about her. Sal said she's right. He said that he is no longer attracted to her. He said even if he was single he wouldn't be. Howard said Tan Mom is a sex symbol. He asked if she gets a lot of this. She said forget all the sex stuff. She said she likes Sal.
Howard asked if Tan Mom is a fan of Robert De Niro. She said she's a big fan. Howard said he has him on the line. Howard picked up and had a De Niro impersonator on the line. Tan Mom knew it was a fake. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard asked Sal if he's friends with Tan Mom. Sal said he is. Tan Mom said it's over. Howard said for those following this romance, it's over. Howard said you've heard the tape. Howard said that this story has unfolded and he thanks Tan Mom for helping out with that. Howard said he has to end this now. Sal said he and women just don't mix. He said vagina is like his Kryptonite. Howard said he crushed her with that news. Sal said that she got so close to him. Howard told Sal to just go back to blowing Richard in that room they work in. Howard went to break after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he misses Eric the Actor so much. He said he was great on the show. Howard said he was great. The caller asked why he hasn't talked to Artie or had him on the show. Howard said that he addressed Artie yesterday. Howard said there are a lot of people who want him to have a conversation with Artie. Howard said he likes Artie very much. He's a big fan of Artie's. Howard said he gets that he's hurt or not hurt. Howard said this show is not the time or place to have that conversation. Howard said he loves Artie and he is a talent. Howard said it's becoming uncomfortable to have this conversation over and over again. Howard said he knows he's trying to rile him up. Howard said Artie is terrific. Howard said they love him. Howard asked what he wants him to do. Howard asked how many times he's going to call in asking about him.
Howard said he's not involved with Artie. He told the guy to leave Artie alone. Howard said we all root for Artie. He's a great guy. Howard said he puts people on the show he likes. He said Artie has moved on and he still likes him. He said when he saw Artie they embraced. Howard said they had a nice conversation. Howard said he's not sure what else to say or tell you. He said he's not sure what kind of grand statement they want him to make. Howard said he loves Artie and thinks he's great. Howard said there are people he doesn't love but Artie is one that he thinks is terrific. Howard said Artie is doing fine. He said leave it be.
Howard said when he goes on Twitter he reads about how people think he wears a wig. He said the other thing is that he's become politically correct. Howard said he's not sure what to tell you. He said he's not sure how to respond to this stuff. Howard said he's addressed all of this. Robin said he's there every day but the rumors keep going. Howard said there's his answer again.
Howard said the Jewel video is up on HowardStern.com. Howard said that's what he was trying to say. He took a call from a guy who said when Dave Letterman grew a beard. He said if Howard retires he should do that. Howard said he doesn't know. He said Letterman's beard says ''fuck you.'' He said it's like
Howard said he lets his beard grow and it looks like dirt on his face. Howard said it gets so long that it makes him look homeless. Howard said he looks like a Hobo. Howard said Letterman is saying that he dropped out of society. He said that beard says a lot to him. He said he's out of society. Robin said Dave was walking with his son and it looked like a kidnapping in that picture. Howard said it did. Howard said this beard is very antisocial. Howard said Dave might have another opinion though.
Howard said that beard is a wild look. He said he had an Amber Alert on his phone when that photo came out. The caller said he still thinks Howard would look good with a beard. He said he could hide his ugliness behind it. Howard hung up on the guy after that.
Howard said he hopes Dave is okay. He said he has to round up Dave and other guys who he respects so they can have an intervention. Howard said he has to sit Dave down and ask what he's doing with that beard. Howard said he's going to videotape that.
Howard took a call from a guy but he got sidetracked when he said he's excited about their guest today. Howard said Emily Blunt is coming in. Howard said she was in a Tom Cruise movie and she has a new one coming out. Howard said he thinks she's in that Meryl Streep category. He said she's hot too. Howard said Julia Roberts is a movie star. He said Emily is a real actress and could play anything. Howard said she's coming in and they're going to find out how to be a real actor. Robin said it helps to be British apparently. Howard said she is British but she can get rid of that accent in no time.
The caller Howard had on the line asked if he thinks Donald Trump could be a good president with this ''good leadway'' he has. Howard said he knows a lot of guys like this who don't have a good vocabulary. The caller said he was just a little nervous. Howard asked if he was on a Speakerphone. The caller said he was. He got off the speaker and on the phone. The caller said he was in the bathroom when he called. Howard asked if he uses baby wipes. The caller said he uses toilet paper. Howard said he has never met anyone who wiped with dry paper and got everything out of there. Howard asked if it was a big doody that came out of him. The caller, Robert, said it wasn't that big.
Howard said you never know how good someone is going to be as president until they're in office. Howard said Trump seems very motivated. Howard said he thinks that Carl Icon said that he's the best candidate at this point. Howard said he wants Trump out of the race so he can come on the show and evaluate women though. Howard said he's great at that.
Robin said that Trump has said that he will drop out if he starts to do poorly in the polls. Howard said that has to be weird for the guy.
Jeff said the guy asked for his monthly bills and all of that. He said then he wanted to know if he had anyone living with him. He said the guy checked out the rooms in his house. Howard asked why he let him in. Jeff said the guy asked. Robin asked if he had a reason for being there. Jeff said that he has been getting disability since 1986 and no one has come to his house. The guy told him it was totally random. Jeff said he said ''Yeah, right.''
Howard said The Lump is on the phone. Jeff didn't want him on while he's having a serious conversation. Robin said Jeff said he's hanging up. Jeff said goodbye. He said he hates The Lump. The Lump said that today is social services and tomorrow is funeral services. Jeff said he's so funny. Howard said Jeff is getting cops showing up at his house and now social services.
Howard said he heard that Gary Busey is hanging out with The Lump. The Lump put Gary on the phone. They had an impersonator doing a bad Busey impression. Howard thanked him and said he's not that funny.
Howard got back to Jeff and said that Jeff could have his disability taken away if he keeps getting stuff from the fans. Jeff said a couple of things about the Social Services guy and they weren't going over very well so The Lump goofed on him about that. Howard let Jeff and The Lump go and then went to break.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he never got to see his TV show but... Howard hung up on him. Howard took another call from a guy who thanked him for turning him on to Royal Blood. Howard said those guys represent a breath of fresh air. Howard said it's two guys putting out rock music like that. Howard said it's great.
Howard did the top 5 songs since he was talking about music. He said music is dismal lately. Howard said Selena Gomez is at number 5. Howard played some of her song and compared her to Justin Bieber's song which was at number 2. Howard said everyone's voice is the same and it's very disco-y. Robin said it's all dance music. Howard played number 4 which was Silento. Howard said that's awful too. Howard said even the thought of watching someone ''whip and naynay'' isn't cool. Howard said those Royal Blood guys came in and kicked ass. Howard played some of their performance from that day they were in.
Howard played the Justin Bieber song after that and asked what you're going to do while listening to that other than sucking a guy's penis. Howard said Robin can't even listen to that when she's doing Ayahuasca. Howard said someone get him a penis, quick. Howard played the song parody of Bieber's song that Richard did called ''I'll Suck Your Ween.'' Howard played the Royal Blood song again and said that's music. Fred played Hank the Dwarf singing some rock.
Howard said the number 1 song sounds like the other songs. Howard played some of The Weeknd's song. He played Beetlejuice singing that song too.
Howard said Beetlejuice was up there the other day and they had him speaking Spanish. Howard played a clip of him saying a few things in Spanish. Howard said you have to love the little guy. He said they had him call a Bodega trying to speak Spanish. In the call Richard said they found this ''El Beeto'' in the Rio Grande. They had Beet trying to speak Spanish but the guy hung up on him. They called back and the guy tried to understand. They had Beet telling the guy that he was saying ''suck my cock'' in Spanish. They had to call back a third time. The guy didn't last long that last time.
Howard took a call from Ralph who told Howard that Rihanna was great at Rock in Rio. Howard said he does like her. Howard said she's hot. Ralph said she had a big balloon thing on and then she strips it off. Howard thanked Ralph and let him go. He said he had to take a break after that. He said Emily Blunt is coming in. He said he liked her in The Devil Wears Prada. Howard said the new movie is called Sicario. Howard said it's pretty awesome.
Howard came back and said that Emily Blunt is there. He said she's been in a ton of good movies. Howard said it's good to see her. Emily said it's nice to see him. She said hello to Robin. Howard said she's been in a ton of great movies and she's in this new Sicario. Howard said that's got a great cast. Howard said that he found it interesting to use a female FBI agent who goes around shooting people. Emily said that the financier of the movie wanted a male lead and he would have doubled the financing.
Emily said that it kind of magnifies the violence when it's a woman. Howard said that's why he watched it immediately when he found out what it's about. Howard said it has all of the elements. Howard said as long as they're killing people every 5 minutes he's there. Howard said that's what happens. Emily said it's also the tension before the eruption. Howard said yes.
Howard said Emily's career is going really well. Howard asked if people know her very well yet. He asked if people know her as a household name. Emily said she's sure a lot of people have never heard her name. Howard said he thinks it's a bad thing. Howard said she is a great actress. Howard said when it comes down to being paid if you're a household name then you get paid more. Howard asked if she has had a meeting with her agent and found out if the other stars of the movie got paid more. She said Benicio got cast first so maybe he got paid more. Howard said it could be less. Howard said Meryl Streep was raving about working with Emily. Howard said she comes into the movie with Benicio and Josh Brolin and she's just as good. Emily said she's not sure if that's true. She said she can still go out to the park with her kid and people don't bother her. She said that's kind of nice.
Howard said Emily did that movie with Tom Cruise and thought that was great. Howard asked if she thought she'd be really well known after that. Emily said it hasn't happened in a meteoric way. She said after The Devil Wears Prada came out it was like night and day. She said things did change for her. She said that it was quite exciting at the time. Now she just hopes that it doesn't happen when a movie comes out.
Howard said Emily worked with Anne Hathaway and whenever that's happening they mention her with Anne. Emily said that doesn't bother her.
Howard said that Emily grew up in England and her dad was a famous barrister. She sad that's like a defense lawyer over there. She said he defended scum. Howard asked if that bothers her. She said that her father can detach himself emotionally. She said that's his job and that's what he believes he has to do. She said he stopped doing rape and child abuse cases though. She said that's where the line blurred.
Howard asked Emily if her father ever had discussions about that with her. She said he did. Robin asked if he has to wear the wig and all of that in court. Emily said he does.
Howard asked Emily about dating and if she had to date powerful guys. Emily said she did have to date guys who thought they were powerful.
Howard said Emily's mom was an actress too. Emil said she was but then she had kids and she ended up teaching English. Howard said Emily grew up with a stutter and when she was acting in plays she stopped stuttering. Howard said that acting became her thing because she wasn't stuttering when she'd get into character. Emily said she started stuttering around 7 and she learned that it's hereditary. She said she has a bunch in her family. She said that it's rare for women to stutter too. She said it's one in four who are women. Howard asked if she was very aware of it. She said kids did make fun of her. She said she was very aware of it.
Howard asked if she worries that it could come back. Emily said it does come back. She said it's when she's on the phone. She said it came back really badly when she was pregnant. She said she thinks that her diaphragm was very constricted so that's why it came back. Emily said she's worked with a bunch of stuttering actors like Bruce Willis. Howard said they did Loopers together. Emily said they talked about it from day one on the set. She said that she asked him to come speak for kids and he was too nervous to do that. Howard said maybe that's why he's so quiet when he is interviewed. Howard said that he wishes he'd explain that in interviews. Emily said she thinks he's quite shy too. She said there are ways to avoid it and that's what stutterers will do.
Howard said Emily is an A-list actress and it must be so tough being cool. Howard said you have to have an attitude. He said it's like the cool kids hanging out. Howard asked how much pressure there is to hang out with the Hollywood crowd to get roles. Emily said she doesn't hang out with people she doesn't like. She said they have some Hollywood friends but not a ton.
Howard said Beth met Emily and her husband and told him how great they were. Howard said he met Emily and thought she hated him. She said that he had a line of people waiting to meet him and she thought that she'd let him be. She said she felt awkward. She said she felt that people were elbowing her out of the way to get to Howard.
Howard said Emily says she was the nerd in school but that seems like a fabrication. Emily said that she couldn't talk so she wasn't the coolest. Howard said she got rid of the stutter and she didn't do it when she was acting. Emily said it's like a removal of yourself from yourself. She said she loved doing accents as a kid and the teacher picked up on that when she'd act that she didn't stutter. She said that he asked her to do that stuff in a funny voice. She said it was great that he picked up on that. She said that was Mr. McHale. Howard said he has to hail Mr. McHale. Howard said no one saw a thing in him.
Howard said Emily is in plays and she went to some festival. Howard said some agent sees her in a play and immediately plucks her out of the crowd to represent her. Emily said she was in a play in a different school and a friend told this agent to come see her and that's how he found her. She said she was just 17 and he's still with her. Howard said that she must have been an acting prodigy. Howard asked if her parents thought that he was a pervert when he picked her. Emily said that he was well established and her mom just told her to finish her exams and she could do it.
Howard said Emily was in a movie called ''My Summer of Love'' and that got her noticed. She had to be topless in the movie. Howard asked how her parents reacted to that. Emily said that her dad's head was kind of going down as the movie went on. Howard asked if she was nervous as hell doing that. Emily said that she was 20 at the time and it wasn't that big of a deal to her at the time. Howard asked if they had a lot of guys standing around watching her. She said that it is a closed set but the whole crew were down looking up at the window she was standing next to. Howard asked if she's still close to her co-star. Emily said that they did connect and they were very intimate in the movie. Howard asked if she has to have chemistry in a movie to do that. Emily said you can't bottle it up and sell it. She said it's either there or not.
Howard said that Emily goes on to Gideon's Daughter and she wins an award. Howard said that she was nominated and Phillip Seymour Hoffman told her to write a speech. She didn't think she was going to win so she didn't bother. She said she did the worst speech. She said that she just gave a ''Woo!'' when she won. Howard said she felt bad after the speech. She said she had a lot of people she should have thanked. Howard said she should have thanked Mr. McHale and the agent. She said that she should have. She said it was a bad speech.
Howard said in 2006 Emily was in The Devil Wears Prada. Emily said they did a table read and she was terrified. Howard said that she played a character that no one would like. Howard asked how she found horrible people to emulate. Emily said she likes to soak up people she meets. She said she saw a mother speaking to her child in a supermarket and she opened her hand like a puppet and said ''I'm hearing this...'' and she did that in the movie.
Howard asked Emily if she is herself in a relationship or is she acting. Howard said as a man you wonder if she's genuinely there or absorbing something. Emily said that she dated a guy once who asked her if she was. She said it was bothering him. Howard said he didn't know that she dated Michael Buble before her husband John Krasinski. Howard said that Michael brought her home to meet his family. Howard said he wasn't faithful though. Emily said it's complicated. She said she never talks about that. Howard said she should with him. Howard said he doesn't think she had closure. Howard asked what went wrong and he'll answer her as Michael. She said she can't do that.
Howard noticed that Emily's accent was coming out heavy. Howard asked how she gets rid of that to be an American accent. She said she thinks that Brits say they do a standard American accent. Howard asked if it's a mid-western accent. Emily said that Howard's accent isn't that. She said his is a New York accent. She said they can do Southern accents better than the New York.
Howard said Emily played her character in The Devil Wears Prada she stuck to British. She said she enjoys playing American if it helps her go in a different direction with her character. She said there's something not quite as liberating for her though.
Howard said that Meryl Streep has said that Emily Blunt is one of the best actresses she's ever worked with. Howard said that must mean a lot. Emily said that it does. Howard said Emily is a real actress. Howard said most men and women in movies are movie ''stars.'' Howard said the stars make the big bucks. Howard said Julia Roberts can just smile and make a lot of money. Emily said that she thinks Julia is a great actress.
Howard asked Emily if she turns down a lot of films. Emily said yes. Howard asked if she ever regrets it if they turn out to be huge. She said she does. Howard asked what she's turned down. She said she can't talk about that. Howard said when she says she ''caahnt'' it sounds like another word. Emily said she knows. She said that it rhymes with her last name so she heard it a lot growing up.
Howard asked Emily if she ever looks at a movie and really regrets it. She said that she can't say what it was. Howard asked what movie she saw recently that she would have liked to have done. Emily said she never could have done it but she would have liked to have done some movie with someone that Howard had no clue about. Howard said that she has to mention a Thor movie or something.
Howard talked about how great her movie Sicario is with Benicio Del Toro. She said Benicio said to say hi. Howard said he's a good dude. Howard said he hung with him one night and he's great.
Howard asked Emily about getting sick in Mexico City while she had Montezuma's Revenge. She said she was just vomiting though. She said that her doody was fine. Howard said that he and Beth have never done that in front of each other. Emily asked how they do that. Howard said they will get two rooms when they go on vacation. Howard said she couldn't have had Montezuma's Revenge if she didn't doody. She said she had something else then.
Howard asked Emily if John has ever seen her go to the bathroom. Emily said that she hates the word ''smell.'' She doesn't know why. Howard said that we are animals. He said doody is disgusting and we're like animals. He said it's hard to come to grips with. Howard said he believes Jimmy Kimmel doodies in front of his wife. Emily said she thinks he's right. Howard asked if John was in the room for her child's birth. She said he was there. She said he saw what was going on down there. Howard said he doesn't think that is good for the relationship. Emily said she had a friend, James Corden, who said to do the C-section. She said he told her she just has to whip open the sunroof to get it out. She said she had another friend who said having a child naturally is like your pub burning down and you rebuild it but it's never the same again.
Howard said when Emily was sick they told her that she didn't look good. Emily said they kept going because she was supposed to look sick in that scene. Howard said that she saw a lot of dead bodies in that scene. Howard asked if the director tells her to be really sickened there. Emily said they're trying to find the reality of the situation. She said people have a really shocked look. Howard said you can't just yell ''Ugh, it smells in here.'' Emily said the camera sees everything. She said that's what she's learned.
Howard asked who the best actress is that she's worked with. Emily said Meryl is astonishing and Benicio is too. She said you don't know which way he's going to go with a line.
Howard asked how hard it is to be married to an actor. Emily said she thinks her husband is the bees knees so she doesn't think that way. Howard said if he were his husband he'd have such a hard time with her being away. She said they try to keep it 2 weeks at the most. She said that's very important especially now that they have a child.
Howard asked Emily about the movie Charlie Wilson's War and how that didn't turn into a big hit like expected. Emily said that she was supposed to show her tits in the movie but her tits didn't agree. She said that Benicio backed her up in that. She said they just didn't feel it was necessary.
Howard asked about doing Edge of Tomorrow and if she wanted to do that kind of action movie. She said she wanted to do something like that. She said she got to play a bad ass in that movie. She said she and Tom got along so well. She said it was great.
Howard asked if she ever feels the envy from other stars. Emily said that would be sad. Howard said her new movie Sicario is coming out this week. Howard said she got good reviews in it. Howard asked if she gets updates about the box office. She said her agent does email her about that. Howard asked if she has ever gotten a bad review. Emily said of course she has. She didn't know which movie it was but she said she has. She said it's just one day before she gets over it.
Howard asked Emily what it's like to be on set in her panties in front of Tom Hanks. She said it was weird because she grew up watching him. She said that he's rarely done a sex scene.
Howard asked Emily if she gets exited in a sex scene. She said she finds it so clinical that she's never gotten excited. Howard asked if a man has gotten aroused with her. She said once. She said it's best to just laugh about it. She said he just went ''Oops'' when he had that happen. She said they just laughed about it. Howard asked where she felt it. She said it was against her leg. Howard asked if he was a real famous guy. Emily said he wasn't actually.
Howard asked how fabulous life is when she's a big star. Howard said she got married at George Clooney's villa. Emily said that John and George are good friends. Howard said they got married at his villa in Italy. Emily said they had some family there. Howard asked if George invited them to. Emily said that he offered and they said no thinking he was joking. She said he asked again and they said yes.
Howard asked how many people they had at the house. She said that it was 65 people or so. Howard asked how long it takes to seduce her. Emily said he can't remember.
Howard asked Emily about what she told the family about getting married at Clooney's house. She said they knew they were friends with him already. Howard asked who handled the wedding planning. She said a security guy did. She said his name is Gio and he knew just what to do.
Howard asked Emily if she gets to double date with Amal and George. She said they have. She said Amal is something and impressive. Emily said she feels dumb. Howard said she must bond over what she does since her dad did the same kind of thing.
Howard asked Emily if she's ever gone swimming with Amal. Emily said she has always been fully clothes in front of her. She said they have had some fun nights together. She said that she jumped in a lake one night fully clothed. She said that it was very cold. Howard asked if they do any wife swapping. Emily said no to that.
Howard said Emily is an American citizen now and FOX News went off on her about joking about how she was ready to rescind it after watching the Republican debate. Howard said she went on some show and addressed it. Howard said FOX was ready to kill her. Howard said they called it a ''Dixie Chick moment.'' Emily said she realizes that political jokes at this time of year might be a bad idea.
Howard asked about the questions they ask when you become a citizen. Emily said they ask you 10 out of 100 questions and you have to get 6 of the 10 right. She said that she got the first 6 right so they stop after that. Howard said that's pretty good odds.
Howard said Emily came in to talk about this movie Sicario. Howard said she's in it with Josh Brolin and Benicio Del Toro. Emily told Howard that Josh is engaged to a lovely young woman. Howard said that of course she's younger. Howard said it's not often that a guy in Hollywood marries and older woman. Emily mentioned Demi Moore. Howard forgot about that.
Howard said Emily has agreed to bear arms for this country. Emily said that's hard. She said any bearing of arms is hard. She said she has been trained to use weapons though. She told Howard about how she was trained. Howard asked if she shot Uzi type guns. She said she did. Howard said it's amazing how easily those shots go off. Emily said she finds it a hard thing. She said she doesn't love shooting guns.
Howard asked about the name Sicario. She said that means Hitman in a slang of Spanish. Howard asked what Emily has lined up now. She said she's going to be in a movie called ''Girl on the Train'' and she plays a blackout drunk. Howard said he thinks it would be hot to be with her reading her scripts in bed. Howard asked if she doe that to turn John on. She said he's used to it now. She said that they both read scripts. Howard asked if she rehearses with him. She said she doesn't run lines with anybody. She said she just runs them with herself. Howard asked if she can remember lines easily. She said she can get them pretty quickly. She said it's the technical stuff that takes a while.
Howard asked Emily about what she was eating when she had to be thin for The Devil Wears Prada. She said she wanted to eat donuts but she had to avoid them. She said she likes working out though. She said she would take a role if she had to gain weight. She said she's not sure she could cut off all of her hair like Charlie Theron did for Mad Max.
Howard gave Emily some plugs for her new movie and talked about how great it is. Howard said he loves this. Howard said he loves super hero movies. Howard said he would have gone to see Into the Woods if they had Spider-Man in it. Howard said he just watched Narcs on Netflix and he loved it. Howard said then he saw her movie and loved it. Howard said that was his fix after finishing Narcos. Howard said he has a movie he wants to do with Emily but the only thing he's written so far is the sex scene. Howard said it's going to be very graphic.
Howard gave Emily some more plugs and asked about what she's getting paid these days. She didn't say exactly but Howard figured she's not making more than a million or two. She said she doesn't talk about money. Howard said she should be getting more than she's getting. Howard said she has had the same agent since high school and it might be time to look into this. Howard asked how many homes they have. Emily said they have 3 but they're about to sell one. She said John was on The Office for many, many years. Howard said he thinks she should be worth a lot more than they say she is. Howard said they say $16 million but it should be more. Emily said she doesn't think it's even close to being true. Howard said Emily is a fascinating woman. Howard told her to go out and yell at her agent. Howard said keep your eye on her and make sure she doesn't steal their office supplies. They went to break a short time later. They played Melissa Etheridge performing ''Only the Good Die Young'' as they went to break.
Howard said he has Matt and Lanelle sitting in because they donated to charity. They gave to a Madison Square Garden charity. Howard said that he was happy to help out by offering whatever. Howard asked if they're married. They said they are. Lanelle said they've been married 9 years. Howard said Matt must be rich because she's hot. Howard said he knows what's going on. Howard asked what business he's in. Matt said it's just business. Howard said Lanelle is hot. She thanked him for that. Howard asked if she has kids. She said she does not. Howard asked what she does all day. Lanelle said she designs jewelry. Howard said that's what hot chicks do.
Howard said he hopes they have a good time there. If not they can walk out. Howard said that Matt must make sidewalk bumps for a living. Howard said he went out to look for those sidewalk bumps after that couple was in. Howard said he didn't see them. Howard said he finally found a spot and Ronnie drove him up to it and showed him. Howard said they do exist.
Howard took a call from Tommy from Malden. Tommy asked Howard about Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani getting divorced. Robin said they haven't talked about that yet. Howard said he's kind of happy about it. Howard said Gavin has been on the show and they email once in a while. Howard said when he would run into them Gwen wouldn't even say hello to him. He said it's uncomfortable to him. He said it wasn't very nice. Howard said he thinks Robin and Gavin would be good together. Tommy said he read that Gavin is going to try to take half of her fortune. Howard said he sees plenty of couples divorcing so he can see why he'd do that. Howard said women do that to men all the time. Howard said why not? Tommy corrected Howard on something he got wrong but Howard didn't care and hung up on him.
Robin started her news with a story about TiVo coming out with a new technology that will run TV shows 30 percent faster than normal. Robin said it will be a quick mode that lets you watch 45 minutes of programming in 31 minutes. Robin said you won't notice any distortion in the audio or video. Howard said they did that in radio years ago. Howard said the artists kicked back over that. Howard said he thinks the same thing will happen with movie makers. Howard said the place this would work is on talk shows where people fumfer to answer. Howard said if you mess with a TV show or movie then you're asking for trouble. Robin said they do a pitch correcting in the TiVo. Howard said he wants to watch some of his shows at a normal speed. Howard said they say that TBS speeds up Seinfeld by 7 percent to fit in more commercials. He said he's not sure if that's true or not.
Howard said that Tiny Actor is burning up the internet. Howard said Jason told him that people are watching the video in droves. Howard said Jewel can sing and she's singing about Eric the Actor. Howard said people want to watch that. Howard said he wishes he could speed up his show and get out of there in 3 hours.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this pope is just a leader of the biggest group of boy fuckers in the world. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go. Howard said he heard a story about the Pope meeting with Kim Davis, the woman who was against gay marriage. Robin said that is true. Robin said that people think that he's a warm and fuzzy guy but then he does that. Howard said he read about that and said it's hard to feel good about the guy now. Robin said that woman is a mess. Howard said Underdog Woman got all charged up about the pope. Howard played a clip of her singing a song for him. Howard said Shuli was woozy after hearing that. Howard said she started making Rosary cakes. Howard had her talking to Shuli about that too.
Howard made a joke about JD's eating. He asked JD how he's doing with the fantasy football thing. JD said he's sticking with it. Howard said JD wanted to drop out after Michael Rapaport went off on him. Howard said Rapaport sent Gary some stuff about fucking him in the ass and stuff. JD said he gets the same kind of stuff. JD said he sent him some gay porn back and Rapaport said that was too gay. Robin asked if JD thinks he doesn't have comebacks. JD said that gay porn was the only comeback he had. JD said Rapaport does it to everyone so you don't even feel that special.
Howard said Iron Sheik used to do that kind of thing. Gary said he ignores Michael. He said he could probably beat him this week. He said if he does that then Rapaport will have excuses or say it doesn't matter. He said it's a 24/7 job for him to fuck with people. He said he fucks with everyone in his life, not just in fantasy football. JD said he wrote back congratulations to Rapaport and he gave him a hard time about that too.
Howard asked JD if he would throw Michael out of the league if he could. JD said probably. Gary said it's fun for him. He said JD can't stand the pressure. JD said he likes the competition but that's enough for him. Howard said some guy need sex toys but other guys are fine with regular sex. He said that's what this is like. Gary said that JD can take shit from other people there but not from an outsider.
Jason came in and said that he would keep Rapaport in the league. He said he keeps it fun. Jason said JD has broken off friendships because of fantasy football. Jason said JD and Jared aren't friends over fantasy football. JD said they weren't more than acquaintances. He said it was about his attitude. JD said that he picked up some player and Jared got pissed at him because he wasn't near his computer at the time. Jason said JD was like ''Fuck Jared, fuck the league...'' Howard asked if Rapaport would fuck JD in the ass for real. Jason said yes. He said he thinks that his emails are so graphic that he might do it. Gary said it's very descriptive. Howard said it might be a bit of a fantasy.
Robin got back to her news and read about who the most unsafe people are to search on the web. Robin said topping the list is a DJ with nearly 1 out of 5 tests showing threats. Robin went through a list of other names that bring up malware and other things. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who asked what anniversary is coming up on Saturday. Howard said he was going to do the math but Mariann came up with 7 years. Howard let Mariann go after that.
Robin asked if Howard has all of his credit cards chip enabled. Howard said he thinks so. Robin said that many American's haven't yet. Robin said they're called ENV cards. Robin said all Americans were supposed to have them by October 1st. Robin said the retailers haven't upgraded yet. Robin said banks are trying to get the cards out there.
Howard took a call from a guy, Chad, who didn't pick up immediately. Chad asked why Howard blocked him yesterday. Howard said he must have said something that annoyed him. Howard said that people would go off on him about being on America's Got Talent and say he has a wig and stuff. Howard asked Chad what he said that could have pissed him off. Chad said he loves the show. Howard asked if Chad is the one who holds a rifle in his picture. Chad said it's a photoshop of a historical picture. Howard said he's not sure what he said but asked Howard to reconsider. Howard said he'll see what he can do. Chad said he's @ChadFromSTL on Twitter. Howard had Gary write him a note about that. He said he'll unblock the guy and give him amnesty.
Robin read a story about a gay couple that went to a pizzeria that didn't want to cater any gay weddings and got pizza for their gay wedding. Howard asked what gay couple is going to a pizzeria for a gay wedding. Fred played some audio of George Takei laughing and saying some Spanish words.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if JD grew up hanging out with other guys. He said ''Wah'' about his complaining about Michael Rapaport. He said he should grow some balls. Howard said he makes a good point. JD said there's a difference between busting chops and that... He told everyone to fuck off and leave him alone.
Robin read about the death of Jim Carrey's former girlfriend Cathriona White. Robin said she apparently committed suicide and left a note where she mentioned her break up with Jim. Howard said that was a terrible story. Howard wondered if Jim goes to the funeral or not.
Howard said he went out with a girl who committed suicide and went to her funeral but he brought a date. Robin said she didn't remember that story. Howard said it was an attempt at a joke and it didn't really happen.
Robin read that Twitter is looking into making their 140 character limit longer. Robin said they are considering other changes to allow links exempt from the limit. Howard said now people can insult him in even longer Tweets.
Howard took a call from a guy who didn't get to his point quick enough so he hung up on him. Another caller said he doesn't get why Rapaport is on the show and involved with this fantasy football thing. Howard asked Gary why he's so involved. Gary explained about how they had Jerry O'Connell in for a while. Gary said they axed him but he wasn't playing right. He said it was a complete mess. Gary said it wasn't playing the game. The caller said it's more than fantasy football. He said he sees him involved in other things and he's on the Wrap Up Show more too. Gary said they had him on and he wanted to be in the league and they let him in. He said most people are happy with the decision. The caller said he's not.
Robin read a story about Michelle Obama and Charlize Theron being at an event speaking about girl's education. Robin had some audio from the event. Howard said he thinks that Michelle is looking hot. He said that when Trump wins then we'll have a real first lady game. Howard said Michelle held up next to Charlize though.
Robin read a story about a female death row inmate that was put to death in Georgia. Robin had audio of an official talking about that. Robin said it happened early this morning. Robin said several appeals were not heard by the Georgia supreme court. Howard asked if you pee yourself when you die of lethal injection. Robin said she assumes so. Howard wondered if they put the person in a diaper. Robin said maybe they do. Robin said this woman had her husband murdered.
Robin read about how Yogi Berra's funeral was held yesterday. Robin read about some of the people who were there and had some audio of people speaking at the funeral.
Robin read about October being Breast Cancer Awareness month. Robin had some audio of a doctor talking about breast cancer. Robin said she just had her mammogram. Robin said she gets it every year. Howard said it's good she didn't get cancer in there.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked if he thinks any of the staff's wives are still attracted to them. Howard said he thinks maybe a little bit less but he knows Gary had sex when he stayed at his house. Howard said he's not sure Mary was ever attracted to Gary though. He let King go after that.
Robin read a story about this dating service called Bumble. Robin said the founder of the site was on the Daily Show last night. Robin had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about Tesla coming out with its first SUV. Robin had some audio of Elon Musk from Tesla talking about the new vehicle. Robin said the vehicle runs about $132,000.
Robin read a story about Ralph Lauren stepping down as the CEO of his company. Robin said he's hired someone from Old Navy to take over. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. After that Jon said what he loves about the Sal thing today was that they got to hear all of his different sides. He said he wonders who broke whose heart though. Gary said he thinks that she yelled at Sal to change his shirt. He said Sal sounded like he was thrown off by that.
Jon asked what they have for the poll today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''Do You Believe That Sal is no Longer Attracted to Tan Mom?'' and the choices were:
Jon said the key verb that was used is that Sal ''convinced'' himself to not be attracted to her. Lindsay said she thought that he was kind of mean to hear unnecessarily. She said that he told her that even if he was single he wouldn't be attracted to her. Gary said she's right on the money. He said it's like the grade and he has to tell the whole class that he's not into her even if he still is.
Jon said he thinks Sal can deny it all he wants but he thinks he's still attracted to her. Gary said he thinks Sal will still jerk off thinking about her. Lindsay asked if he would feel bad about what he did to her. Jon said if they tell him he was mean then he will. Lindsay said she should tell him right now. Jon Gabrus said we have to think about Tan Mom. Gary said he saw a side of her that he had never seen before. He said that was love.
Lindsay said she's not sure how it progressed as far as it did. Gary said every time she's up there Sal tells everyone how attracted to her he is. He said every time he'll do that. Gary said it got back to her somehow and she'd flirt with him when she'd come in.
Jon asked Lindsay if a guy can do that and say he's attracted to you and it gets your attention. Lindsay said that on some level she knows he's married. She said maybe that's part of the attraction. She said maybe she thinks that he's going the extra mile for her and it's a turn on. Jon said she wants him to leave his wife. Gary said he could sell that whole scenario as a reality show tomorrow. Jon Gabrus said Gary just lit a cigar with a $100 bill because of that idea. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary if he ate Mary out at Howard's house. Gary said that's his wife. He said he's not going to talk about that. He said fuck King of All Blacks for bringing that up. Gary said he finds that stuff obnoxious. He said if you're going to be a dick, be a dick to him.
Jon said Howard talked about his 30th anniversary of being fired from WNBC. Gary said Howard and Robin were fired by two different people. He said he had pictures for Robin to sign that day and he remembers asking her to sign them. He said she took them and threw them because she'd just been fired. He said it wasn't that surprising coming from her though so he didn't think much of it.
Gary said Howard came in and told them all that they had been fired and they'd figure things out. Gary said Howard told him that he really enjoyed working with him and he'd bring him to work with him in the future if he could. Gary said he thought he'd never see the guy again. He said he sounded sincere but he wasn't sure if it would ever work out. He said Howard's agent showed up and had a bottle of Champagne. He said Don felt he could sell Howard for a dramatic amount of more money.
Jon said it's never good to get fired. He asked Jon Gabrus if he has ever been fired. Jon Gabrus said he was fired from Best Week Ever. He said a few years later he's on the Wrap Up Show.
Lindsay said the funniest thing about this morning was the guy announcing that Howard had been fired like they'd just dropped a bomb on Japan. Gary said they played an awful song after that and they really didn't put any thought into that stuff back then. It was just the song that was next up to be played.
Jon said Howard was talking about how much older John Hayes looked back then. He said that he was only a few years older but he was ''the suit'' there and he looked much older. Gary said that there were many theories about why Howard was fired. He said there were bits they did, John Hayes not thinking Howard fit in, Howard getting into an altercation with John Hayes and more. He said there was one story about a GE executive who heard Howard talking about renovating the Statue of Liberty and Howard heard how much it cost and asked if that was how much a copper douche cost. He said the exec called and said they had to get rid of this guy. Gary said there were many stories like that.
Jon said when you get fired at a station it has to be chaos. Jon said you must want to forget it. Gary said he's glad he saved that tape of the firing announcement. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said that they had Bobo and Jeff the Drunk on talking about Periscope today. Jon Gabrus said he's annoyed with Periscope. He said everyone thinks they're a star now. He said he doesn't care what they're doing on there. Gary said he's still trying to find something that he likes on Periscope. Gary said he can watch a guy in a pub in Ireland having a beer for about 30 seconds. Lindsay said they're going to have it on Apple TV and that might change the whole thing. Jon Gabrus said he hates watching stuff on people's phones. Gary said on John Oliver's show they did a bit about how everyone was showing the pope their new iPhones while he was in town.
Jon said when people are performing for you on Periscope it's one thing. He said it's like people trying to be funny instead of just being funny. Lindsay said that she thinks it's interesting to watch some things on there but what the fans like about Bobo and Jeff is that they have a direct feed to them to see their face when they say something to them. Jon Gabrus said it's real time psychological stuff. Gary said you can tell when Jeff gets angry after reading something he didn't like.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he can't get that ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' song out of his head. He asked if they have stuff like that there. Gary said it happens all day. He said when he was on vacation once he was singing a song parody about Artie doing heroin instead of the actual song. Lindsay said that she gets song parodies stuck in her head all the time. Jon said he can't listen to Lets Dance because he just hears ''Black Tits'' in his head. Jon Gabrus said that he's gotten the Beetlejuice song stuck in his head when his wife listens to the show. He said he doesn't even know the song that well.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about Sal and Tan Mom doing a show together. Gary said the second Howard announces that Howard isn't doing a show Sal is going to start looking to do something. He said all of the wacky people will show themselves.
Jon asked if they would watch a Tan Mom and Sal porn. Gary said of course. He said that it's for comedic or train wreck effect. Jon Gabrus asked if they'd have a them to it. Gary said it would be something about preparing to tan. Gary said it gets way out of control. He said maybe Sal works at the tanning salon. Lindsay said the whole concept is horrifying to her.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has a gripe. He said he appreciates the Emily Blunt interview and he knows Howard is doing that style interview now. He said the problem he has is with the fans who used to ask where the big celebrities are and now they're getting it and they complain about that. He said people wonder about Artie not being there and the fans just miss him. Gary said Howard addressed it this morning. He said it's for the hundredth time and he's explained it the best he can. Jon said the show has gone through stages and some people prefer one time period over another. Jon said this is the show now and Howard hopes you like it. He said it's either time to move on or stick with it.
Jon said that Howard asked Emily if John was in the delivery room when her baby was born and he was. Gary said he was in the delivery room too. He said he's glad he was there. He said it's amazing to be there but there is a recovery time to going back down there. He said that it's something you have to adjust to. Lindsay asked how long he had to recover. Gary said it was a couple of months. Jon Gabrus said that Gary has to recover but his wife is the one who had a human being coming out of there. Gary said by the time his wife recovered he was recovered too.
Gary asked how Jon was. Jon said his wife had a C-section. He said they take the uterus out and he saw the whole thing. He said that they did it in a teaching hospital and showed a bunch of people.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology. He asked Rahsaan for the results of today's poll. Rahsaan said that 64 percent didn't believe Sal. 32 percent thought he was never attracted to her and 4 percent said he was being sincere. Jon gave Lindsay and Jon Gabrus some plugs as well. Lindsay is in the show ''Benders'' that starts on Thursday at 10 on IFC. Jon said Jon Gabrus has a podcast called High and Mighty. They ended the show around Noon.
The guys were talking about Gary's ethnicity during their intros and Jon said that he's very well known these days with the Baba Booey mentions. Horatio said they should start doing it at soccer games for when someone scores a goal. They talked about other ways they could get those Baba Booey mentions.
Jon said that Emily Blunt was in this week and Jon Bernthal was in a movie with her. Jon asked if he listens for certain stories when he knows a guest like that. Jon Bernthal said he remembers driving across the country when he heard Jonah Hill telling the story about how he almost knocked him out. He said he had to hear it from his dad about that. He talked about some of the stories she told and shared a story about how he had defended Howard at a party he was at when someone was bashing him.
Gary asked Jon Bernthal about doing sex scenes and how you keep from getting sexually excited. Jon Bernthal said it's different every time. He said it's like anything else and if there is an attraction there you try to make it happen. He said one time he did a scene with a girl he as dating and they were able to push the octane a little bit. Jon said Howard has talked about getting excited on the set and how it went for him.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Gary saw Jon Bernthal in ''Show Me a Hero.'' Gary said he did. He said he loved his giant glasses. The caller said the show was great. Jon Bernthal thanked him for that. He said David Simon is so great. Gary said the soundtrack was all Bruce Springsteen. Gary said he thought the series was great. Jon agreed.
Jon said Jon Bernthal has been on quite a run lately. Jon Bernthal said he's been very busy since Walking Dead and he's very lucky. He said that part was the first one that was in his wheelhouse. He said he got to show some shit he got to do. Jon mentioned that Howard said he didn't like Fear the Walking Dead but he still loves The Walking Dead. Jon said that there are a lot of people watching The Walking Dead and they're kicking the ass of networks. He said if you have a great show people are going to find it. Horatio said that people do love zombies. He said the whole concept of them needing to eat brains is a wonderful franchise.
Gary said he heard someone talking about how splintered TV is now. He said if they get 100,000 people to watch a show it's considered a hit. Jon said he thought the show The Grinder was a very good show and Brian is in that. Jon said that there are so many shows out there. He said Howard asked him what's good these days and he didn't know what to say. He said there's just so much out there.
Gary said he and his wife watch a show where the people try to buy a home that's like 300-400 square feet and it's crazy that a show like that exists. Jon said the good TV is coming from everywhere. They went to break after that.
Jon said Horatio must love that because it falls on his talent. Horatio said he's right about that. He said it's a very cool movie. They're doing a premiere at the UCB theater. Brian said they have a 10 city release on the 9th and it'll be on VOD services the same day.
Jon said when Howard starts the show they have no idea what he's going to do. He said they have a general idea what he might do but then he ends up going in a completely different direction. Gary said Howard may jot something down and he will talk about it without talking to them first.
Jon said Howard gets on Gary about his throat clearing. Gary said it hasn't happened lately. He said the winter is coming so it gets worse around that time. Jon Bernthal said he has been staring at Gary and he feels like he's really well put together. He said he's not making weird noises or anything. Jon Bernthal said he was trying to get a taste of it being there. He said he's waiting for something disgusting.
Gary said the way Howard talks about him you'd think he'd be 50 pounds heavier. Jon Bernthal said he imagined him the way he looks. He said Gary is very well put together. Gary said people walk up to him and say his teeth aren't as big as Howard says. Horatio asked if he ever thinks about getting something done about that. Gary said everything Howard mentions he thinks about. He said he isn't going to get surgery over his throat clearing though. Jon asked about his typing and why he doesn't do something about that. Gary said he has Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing. He said he hasn't gotten around to it. He said Howard and Robin do love to bust his balls. He said he went to see a doctor about his throat clearing. He said the doctor wanted to do something about it but Howard and Robin told him not to do anything. He said they still want to be able to bust his balls.
Jon asked if Howard cares where he finishes on lists like Andy Cohen did. Gary said absolutely. Gary said everyone there wants to win. Jon said Gary must be upset about coming in last on Andy's list. Gary said he gets what he was saying about him being a friend. He said he knows that might be a way of telling him he's not attracted to him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Howard was asked about the Artie podcast. He said he'd like to know what they think about that. Jon said Howard was pretty clear about how he feels about it. Gary said he's talked about it twice in the past week. He said he can call Howard and ask about it.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what they're going to do if Howard announces he's leaving. He asked if they'll have guests like Artie come back to sit in. Jon asked Jon Bernthal what he thinks. Jon Bernthal said he doesn't even want to think about that shit. Gary said it is coming eventually. Jon Bernthal said you have to enjoy the show while it's on. Gary said he agrees. Brian asked if Howard has said he's going to end it soon. Gary said the contract is up at the end of this year. He said Howard has said he'd like to continue but the contract hasn't been signed. Gary said this could be his last contract. He said the end is in sight, he thinks. Gary said he thinks Howard likes taking time off so he could be ready to retire. Jon said he is doing all kinds of things outside of the job. He said in the past he didn't. He said he thinks Howard wants more of that time. He said not doing America's Got Talent will help with that. Jon said he thinks Howard will come on some day and say he's not doing it anymore and people are dreading that day.
Horatio said if Howard stays home he hopes he expands his sexuality more and goes down on Beth more. He said he heard him talking about that the other day. Gary said he imagines a final show being like the Birthday Show on steroids. He said he's going to get people to sing songs and do tributes. He said it'll be amazing. They went to break after that.
Gary asked if it's interesting to hear The Lump and Bobo's Toupee on the show. He said Bobo pretends it's fun but it's not going away. Jon said that Bobo came right out and said it bothered him. Horatio said that The Lump and the Toupee have separate lives from Jeff and Bobo. Jon said they may overshadow the two of them over time. Gary said they had conjoined twins on the show and they had separate lives. He said one was in a bowling league and one wasn't. He said that's what it's like with The Lump and Bobo's Toupee.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she heard the Emily Blunt interview and thought it was fabulous. She said that he brought up the actress vs. movie star and she totally agreed with Howard on that. She wondered what their feedback is on that. Gary said Emily was one of those people who you try to get a sense of and he thought you got that on the show yesterday. He said she seemed like a really cool chick. Jon asked if there is a difference between a movie star and an actor. Jon Bernthal said he worked with her and he can't say enough good about Emily. He said he came into that movie and he has a scene making love with her and then fighting. He said if she had been a movie star and had her nose in the air none of that shit would work. He said she cares about the work and wants to make it the best she can. He said if anything works in that movie it's because of her.
Jon asked the guys how often they encounter movie stars vs. actors. Horatio said most people in comedy are cool. He said they don't want to be the shitty dude. Gary asked who the biggest name is that he's worked with. Horatio said De Niro and Bill Murray. He said that Bill Murray was great because he'd give direction on the show.
Jon asked Brian if he encounters assholes. Brian said it's like a 10 percent ratio. He said that there is a theory to just not be a dick in the business. He said he was rehearsing a thing and this guy did his bit and he improvised something and outshined him. He said the guy hit him with his script and he knows he was trying to establish where he stands over him.
Jon said he thinks that Howard doesn't put one person over another when he does an interview. Gary said that Howard just interviews people and treats them all like that. He said he wants to know the inner workings. Jon said Howard loves putting people on the couch and finding out what happened at an early age. The guys talked about how Howard can make anyone interesting on his show. Gary said he finds that it's the managers and agents who have scared people into saying anything. He said people come in and just be who they are. He said Bill Murray doesn't appear to give a shit. He said the guy you see is the guy you love.
Jon got in some Sternthology plugs and gave the guys plugs for their stuff. They were done around 11:55am.
Michael mentioned that Danny Cevallos was there too. Jon said he's their legal analyst for the show. Jon said he'll get to him in a minute.
Michael said he was at this party and Natalie Maines was there. He didn't remember her name or her group. He said she was very open about talking about what's going on in fantasy football. He said other than that he's not mentioning any names. Jon asked if Gary is surprised that Natalie was talking to Michael about taking a beat down. Gary said he's not at all.
Gary asked if Michael is aware that his competitive nature may make JD leave the league next season. Michael said he is aware of that. He said if he leaves the league then there should be a suspension at work. He said he tried to stand up for JD when Bryan Cranston came in there and shit on him. He said he tried to stand up for him. He said he thinks JD has broken up friendships because of fantasy football. Gary said they've discussed that. He said that it's just too much. Michael said that it may sound like a joke but he sent emails he sends him back to gay porn links. He said this is a sick fuck they're working with. Gary said he knew that it would piss him off. Michael said JD knows his way around a gay porn site. Jon asked what the difference is between that and Michael threatening to gay rape them. Michael said they're saying that it's violating people in the ass. He said he has mentioned ass and rape. He said that he wants things to be consensual. He said he might want a cat and mouse thing. Gary asked if he's saying that no means yes. Michael said he's not saying that. He said when he gets gay porn links he has to think that he's using that site for personal use.
Jon asked Danny Cevallos about the legal details of that stuff. Danny said that he can't believe that any of this is a threat if they don't even know what it means. Michael asked what his last name is. Danny said he's Ecuadorian. Michael said he's never even heard of that. He said he threw him for a loop there.
Michael and Gary spent a short time talking about the league and what they do to each other. Gary said Michael sends out a lot of vibes and he has to back this up. He said that Michael thinks he's going to win the league no matter what. Michael said it's more about the weekly war for him. Gary and Michael kept going back and forth about that for a short time. Jon said they had to take a break a short time later.
Gary said there was a discussion in the office and it was about how that Emmy was for the season of 30 for 30 and not for his episode specifically. Michael said it was and he never said it wasn't. Jon said it does say that he won a sports Emmy as a director for that season. He said he is an Emmy award winner. Danny agreed and said that when you award an Emmy you don't divide it or anything. Michael said his Emmy says his name on it. He said he won the Emmy. Gary said he wasn't driving this train. He said he walked in on the middle of the conversation.
Michael said they make Will Murray sound like some dick slinging fuck but he looks like he just walked out of a Methadone clinic. Gary said Will would tell him that. Michael asked if Danny knows where he is because he's wearing a suit. He said he doesn't have to dress up because they're all slobs there. Gary said Michael comes in dressed like DJ Jazzy Jeff so maybe Danny should do that.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Michael fucks with people at Public Morals like he does there. Michael said no. He said he brings this to the Stern Show.
Jon asked Danny about where people stand on live streaming on Periscope. Danny said that people are publishing other people's content and without a delay button. He said that the biggest thing was the Pacquiao fight. He said that people can live stream something like that. Danny went on and on about the legalities of live streaming for a few minutes. He mentioned that when Jeff is on Periscope and talking to Howard he's broadcasting some Sirius content. He said there is something called fair use so he might be able to use that as a defence.
Jon asked if Michael is using Periscope. Michael said he doesn't use it yet. He said that he loved Danny but they have to pull the plug on him speaking at some point. Danny said that they had 20 minutes of Rapaport at the start of the show. Jon said he doesn't do the Periscope thing. He doesn't even go on to see what's going on.
Michael told Gary if he did a brushing his teeth thing on Periscope he could charge people to watch. He said he could build an extra wing on his house. Gary said it sounds like a funny idea but the reality of watching him brush his teeth would be boring. Michael didn't think so. Michael asked if Gary has ever measured his gum to teeth ratio. Gary said he has not.
Jon said got back to Danny and talked to him about sports gambling and if that's a legal thing when it comes to fantasy football. Danny spent a couple more minutes analyzing that.
Gary asked Danny about where the berating that someone like Michael is doing becomes cyber bullying. Danny had a long winded explanation for all of that as well. He basically said it's all good for Michael. The guys spent a few more minutes talking about fantasy football. They went to break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's a huge supporter of Michael winning the league. He said everyone else is a boring fuck. He said they talk about the show because of Rapaport. He said it's good for the game. He asked why everybody is complaining so much. He said JD should leave the league. Gary said he is amused by Michael but he's never been like he has to stop. Jon said Gary has the most experience of getting shit on at his job. He said he has very thick skin. Gary said even before Michael they'd bust each other's balls about the league.
Gary asked who is the most upset by Michael's ball busting. Jon said JD and Matthew Berry are. Michael said Matt hates that he beat him two fucking times. He said he doesn't care if he beat him in points or what. He said he beat his ass twice. Gary said what he doesn't like is that his name is Matthew. He said Michael insists on calling him Matt. Michael said his name is Michael David Rapaport he's not going to get upset that you call him Mike. He said Matthew Berry hasn't earned it. He said he's going to take it and like it.
Jon said that Matt is involved in collusion in the league. He went through some stuff that he's seen going on. Jon said it drives him crazy that people don't make trades there. Jon asked Danny about the collusion thing. Danny talked about that for a minute giving his legal analysis.
Michael went off on Jason for saying that Matt Berry is his fantasy football guru. Danny said that can be a risk too. Michael said he likes this fucking guy here. He said he has a nice speaking voice.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Michael is doing this for real or is it just for fun. Michael said he's asking the wrong guy. Gary said Michael has said that anyone who takes this seriously is out of their mind. Gary said these thoughts are in Michael's head though. He said he thinks he's an angry man. Michael said he's not. He said the fact that he brings that up disappoints him so much. Gary asked if he has a bit of a temper. Michael said not at all. He said as he's gotten older he doesn't have a temper. He said he can't believe he has to go behind the veil with that. Gary said he thinks Michael likes a good argument.
Jon asked if it's legal to have a goatee in New York City these days. Danny said he doesn't think there are any laws against it. Michael said he hasn't seen anyone these days with one other than Gary.
The guys spent more time on their fantasy football league. They went through the rules of their league and what's been going on with trades and things like that.
Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and gave Danny and Michael some plugs before ending the show around 11:55am.