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Howard started the show singing along to his theme song. Howard said that only the great Rob Zombie could do that. He said he hasn't talked to him lately. He said he usually gets in touch over the summer. He said he likes hanging out with him and his lovely wife. He said he loves that guy though.
Robin said she saw Howard and Beth on America's Got Talent at the red carpet. Howard said they made him do one more terrible thing and that was walking the red carpet. Howard said in the past he had to sit down and do publicity with the other judges. He said the last two years he stopped doing them. He said it doesn't help the ratings and they ask the dumbest questions and air those. He said that they don't even talk about America's Got Talent. He said he put his foot down and stopped doing them. Howard said he did agree to walk the red carpet though. He said the more stuff you say no to the happier they are when you say yes to something. Howard said he had his hand on Nick Cannon's balls. He said he loved working with him. He said Nick left him alone. He said he's not a douche bag.
Howard said Nick has some friends he hangs out with and one of them is a short guy with muscles. Howard said that guy is Nick's hair dresser and work out buddy. He said he has another friend who he doesn't know anything about. Howard said there are also white management guys who hang out too. Howard said there's a whole party going on with Nick. He said his friends help him out with the phone calls. Howard said Nick was in the hospital for 2 weeks and he came back and he gave him some advice about how he has to stop with all the bitches. Howard said this was a recent thing. Robin said that was when he was still with Mariah. Howard said this was after that. He said he had his trailer packed with bitches. Howard said they did a calculation and found out Nick has more phones and Serbia. He said he thinks he's on Nick's 5th phone. Howard said he may not even have his number. Howard said Nick has phones for every woman. Howard said he's not sure why he needs that. Howard said he mentioned the phone thing on the final America's Got Talent.
Howard said he thinks that Nick has a phone and the other guys have 2 or 3. He said he's not sure what's going on there. Howard said he has 5 phones for his cock. Howard said Nick must have wore himself out with the bitches. He said right before they go on camera he always asked how he was feeling. He asked if he cut down on the bitches and Nick would start laughing. Howard said now he'll have Simon Cowell to deal with. He said he doesn't know that for sure but if you read the Sony hack you know Simon wanted that job. He said he wanted him out like he wanted that husband of the woman he was fucking out.
Howard said Nick gets so much pussy. He said there were models and all of that. Howard said Nick has a pussy switchboard. He said one of them got fired for putting a level 3 bitch into the level 1 bitch.
Howard said he told Nick not to eat pussy. He said he has a feeling about that. He said he thinks throat cancer is up because people are eating pussy. Howard said Robin knows what he's talking about.
Howard played a phony Arnold Schwarzenegger giving advice on eating pussy bit. Howard had a fake Michael Caine guy doing the same kind of thing.
Howard said he is kind of a hard ass so when he was done with America's Got Talent he was ready to be done with it. He said that's the way he separates from things. Robin said Howard was a grouch on Tuesday. Howard said they fucked up so bad Tuesday. He said that they were doing the 10 finalists thing and he wasn't called to judge. Howard said he had some funny stuff to talk about with the regurgitator and they never went to him. Howard said he told the producers that he cares about the production and he waits for his moments. Howard said the Regurgitator was great and he had things to say. He said he was doing it for the show. He said he wants to be proud of the work they're doing. Howard said they were going to let him say something to the stuttering comedian and he had nothing to say about him. Howard said he got all pissed. He said he was pissed for the production and not for himself. Howard said people mentioned on his Twitter that he looked furious and he was.
Howard said he had a good 4 seasons. He said everything is good with NBC. He said he didn't get kicked out of NBC for once. Robin said this was an amicable split up. Howard said it was. He said he thinks they had enough of him. He said he can be a pain in the ass on these things. Howard said the show will do fine after he's gone. He said he told a reporter that. Howard said the show has a format and no one judge determines the fate of the show. Howard said he thinks he kept the show in good shape.
Robin said the lineup on Dancing with the Stars is awful. Howard said that he can see Gary Busey going over the edge with his partner. Howard said he seems to be very taken with her. Howard said he looks for him rubbing her ass when they dance. Howard said he's worried about Anna. Howard said he's not sure if Gary knows he's not attractive. Howard said he knows he's not attractive but he wonders if Gary Busey knows.
Howard played some audio of Tambor speaking at the Emmys. Howard said he's upset that he isn't transgender now. Howard said he should leave his wife and become a woman at this point. Howard said he gets what he's doing but just say you're an actor and playing a role. Robin asked if they have done another season of that show. Howard said he doesn't watch it so he's not sure. Robin said they gave it to them for one season.
Howard said Boris Karloff played Frankenstein but he didn't go around talking about it like this. Howard said it's like someone playing a doctor and talking about saving lives. Howard said Tambor just plays a transgender. Howard said he understands empathy for the transgender people but this is crazy.
Howard played another clip of Viola Davis accepting an award and quoting Harriet Tubman. Howard said she sounds angry. Howard had some fun with some Ed Wood movie clips while that was playing. Howard said he should have quoted Harriet Tubman on the red carpet.
Howard said that everyone is all fired up over their Emmy. Howard said they have a reality category and America's Got Talent wasn't even in it. Howard said he thinks they should have been. Howard said if he had won he would have been real serious. Howard made a speech with echo on his voice. He was very serious like Viola Davis. Howard said he was representing all the people on earth who are ugly.
Howard played some audio of some other very serious Emmy award acceptance speech. Howard said they're so serious about their work.
Howard said they asked people outside America's Got Talent if Howie Mandel or Howard Stern is better looking. He played some clips and women were saying that neither of them are good looking. One woman said he has to stop dying his hair and stop curling it. Howard played another clip where a woman said Kim Davis is better looking than Howard Stern. She laughed and had that smoker's death rattle. Howard said that at least he's in shape.
Howard played another clip where Sal was asking women if Godzilla or Howard was better looking. They were picking Godzilla. Howard said people are nuts.
Howard said they asked people on the street what they think about Mayor De Blasio trying to hide all the Jews when the Pope visits. Howard said it's a ridiculous idea but people thought it was a good idea. One guy said he's a piece of shit. One woman said that she is Jewish and De Blasio is disgusting. Howard said people believe anything. He said they asked people what they think about him being the new face of Starbucks. He played some people commenting on that too.
Howard said Chris Wilding took clips of him talking about America's Got Talent and how he's done with it. He said he called this show and said his dad has A.G.T. disease. Howard played the call and Chris calls this show with the clips and gives an explanation for the A.G.T. disease. Then he puts his dad on the phone and it's clips of Howard talking about his pains and how he's done with A.G.T. They went to break after that call.
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Robin asked if he did anything after the show. Howard said he went home after doing press. Howard said he was happy with the winner. He said he predicted that he could win. He said that he thought it would be the Regurgitator or the ventriloquist. Howard said the Regurgitator went out in fourth place.
Howard said that yesterday was the anniversary of Eric the Actor's death. He said they love Eric. Howard said Jewel is coming in and she's going to do a tribute to Eric the Actor. Robin said he'd be beside himself. Howard said Eric would complain about it.
Howard played a song parody about Eric the Actor. Howard said there's a video that goes along with that and they'll have that up on the web site today.
Howard said they'll be remembering Eric on Sternthology all week on Howard 101. Howard said Jewel will be in later to do her tribute. Howard said that they'll be doing a 21 Ack salute to him.
Howard said when you see the look on Broadway Bill Lee doing his thing it looks like he has cum face when he's done. Howard said it's like the ramblings of a mental patient though. He played another clip of the guy talking up a song and not making a lot of sense. Robin said this guy can't do this every day. She said that it's too much. Howard said he never quite got a handle on that format. Howard said his voice is deep enough but he doesn't have that whole thing. Robin said he doesn't have that patter. Howard said you have to watch the video. He said when he gets that cum face it looks like he's just winging it. Robin said she thinks that he has to have it written down. Howard said most DJs are lazy. He said that they want to come in and do their shift and then get out. Howard said they don't want to write shit down.
Howard tried to do that whole DJ thing but he ran out of material. JD came in and said he thinks that this guy writes it all out. He said he rhymes this stuff. Howard played another clip of Bill Lee talking up AC/DC's ''Highway to Hell'' and then he tried to do it but thought he was going to pass out.
Howard said this guy is out to lunch. He asked to hear the song again so he can try doing it again. Howard tried talking it up like Broadway Bill Lee. Howard hit the post but he was out of breath. Howard said he has to drag it all out. He said he's dizzy. Fred said Bill must have rhymed 6 times in his talk up. Howard tried to do that too. He said he just doesn't understand how to do it.
Howard said he has to thank Kidd Chris for sending him that. He said he told Chris that he doesn't understand what the guy is saying and Chris wrote back ''Hahaha LOL.'' Howard played more of Bill talking up Phil Collins ''Sussudio.'' Howard tried to do that after hearing Bill do it. Howard said they'd fire his ass in 2 seconds if he did that. Howard tried it again. He was still trying to rhyme stuff in his talk up.
Howard said he's out of breath. He was still going with the talk up voice. He said he's exhausted. Robin asked if that guy does 4 hours of that. Howard did more of the voice and started doing math during his talk up. Howard said he's going to have a heart attack doing that. He said it's just nonsense.
Howard said he had friends who got into radio and they were able to do that kind of thing. Howard said he has to get to Jewel. He said she's there so he has to get to her. Howard said she wrote a book (Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story) and opened up about her life. Howard said she's there and she's so great. Howard said it's so sweet of her to do the Eric the Actor song. Howard said he has to recover from his top 40 DJ thing. Howard said he'll get to Jewel next. He went to break talking up ''Highway to Hell'' again.
Howard came back and said that song with Gary was very musical. He said speaking of musical look who walked in. It was Jewel. Howard said she is a vision. She thanked him for that. Howard said Jewel has anew book and an album out at the same time. She said she does. Howard asked how she goes through a divorce, writes a book and records an album at the same time. Howard asked if she locked herself up for a year. Jewel said that she had to learn to be a single mom. Jewel said she also had to get out of her marriage with Ty. Howard asked if they still have a good relationship. Jewel said that they have to for their son. Howard said he doesn't know how she does that. Jewel said it's tough. She said that the child deserves it though.
Howard asked how she does that. Jewel said that you just go through things differently and don't hash things out anymore. Howard asked if she would fall in love with her ex-husband again. Jewel said they're not hanging out anymore so she doesn't think that could happen again.
Howard said her book made him sad. Howard asked if Jewel thinks her life is sad. Jewel said there is a lot of sad stuff in there. Howard said he remembers asking her if she was in therapy and she said no. She said it wasn't until her marriage starting going south that she got into it. She said she would totally recommend it. She said she went to a place in Tennessee. She said it's not psychotherapy. She said she did an intense thing where she went away for 7-10 days and then they went as a couple. Howard said that it's all about taking accountability for yourself. She said that it was a long process for her to think about breaking up a family. She said that she considers it a tremendous failure on her part. Howard said he can see that.
Jewel said there are people who can turn things around. Howard said he went to therapy across from a modeling agency. He said he knew that was a bad thing. Howard said he wasn't a cheater or anything himself. Jewel asked why the agency was a problem. Howard said that was the least of his problems.
Howard said it seems to him that there are so many sad stories and it's a miracle that she's there in one piece. Howard said Jewel grew up in Alaska. He asked if her therapist was a man or a woman. She said it was a man. She said she's good with both. Howard said this gook is pretty heavy.
Howard said he wants to get to the Eric the Actor thing before getting into the book more. He said that Jewel is going to honor Eric with a song. Howard said she did a little tribute to Eric. She said this is not on her album. Howard played the song that Jewel did about Eric the Actor. She sang about Eric calling the show and complaining daily and about so many things he did on the show. The song was to the tune of ''Tiny Dancer.''
After the song Howard said that she has captured Eric and captured everything in there. Howard asked if she thinks that he's in a little person heaven. Jewel said she wants to believe that people go wherever they want. Howard said Jewel hit it all in the song. Howard said she even captured that he was bitter and he'd go to Twitter to express himself. Howard said that was great.
Howard said getting back to the book, ''Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story'', and also mentioned she has a new album called ''Picking Up The Pieces'' too. He said you can find out more about her at JewelJK.com
Howard said in the book she talks about how she was sexualized from the age of 8. Howard said she must have never felt safe. Howard said men were even into her at the age of 8. Howard said men are creepy. Jewel said your emotions are the best alarm system. She said she figured out what men were about before she was able to turn in that currency. She said she figured out you don't have to do that. She said she saw stuff behind the curtain and it was too much.
Howard said Jewel put an ad in the paper to get a ride to Anchorage to see her mom. Howard said most kids wouldn't know to do that. Howard said a guy wanted to drive her there and she took the drive. Howard said she was in 5th grade. Howard asked what her father thought. She said he knew she was going to do that. She said that she would hitchhike to school back then too. Howard asked if she thought she wasn't protected at all. Jewel said it was a very neglected childhood for sure. Howard said that's an insane story. Howard said the guy who gave her the ride wasn't even going to Anchorage. Howard said she found out years later that he was a child porn guy. Jewel said that he made her very uncomfortable. She said that he gave her the willies. Jewel said that something set her off about the guy. She said that he spooked her but nothing happened. She said he made her uncomfortable but he never touched her or anything. Howard said the guy was arrested. She said that he was in the paper but she's not sure what happened.
Howard said that Jewel befriended a girl who had money. Jewel said it wasn't a lot of money but it was more than they had. She said they were living in free housing at the time. Howard said she started to steal from this girl. She said she did. She said that this vacuum opened up in her and she just took all of this stuff in a bag. She said that it was a compulsive thing she did. She took the stuff in a garbage bag. Howard said she realized if she wore the clothes she stole people would know she did it. Jewel said it was like starving and she stole food. She said that's how she felt.
Howard said Jewel had nothing. Howard said her mother was horrible. Howard said her mom didn't want to be a mom again and she ran off. Howard said she came back into her life when she started to get famous. Howard said she lets her mom manage her now. Howard said he can't imagine doing that. Jewel said that her mom was this remote princess to her and she was this calm person. She said that she was artistic and meditative. Howard said that when her mom was managing her she had no money. Howard said her career was completely mismanaged. Howard said she had to get her out of her life and she had to have her sigh a contract. Jewel said that she hasn't talked to her since 2003. Howard said that she feels that she could poison her mind. Jewel said she doesn't think that her mom had her best interests at heart. She said it's not healthy for her to be around.
Howard asked what kind of contract she signed to get her out of her life. Jewel said it was to get the business dealings out of their lives. She said she's not sure how her mother felt about that. She said that she read that she said it was her idea and she wanted to do other things in her life. Howard said she has resisted going back to her. Jewel said she didn't get any therapy for that. She said she has a hole in her heart for a mom. She said that she hurt her way worse than not having a mom.
Howard asked if she can trust any women in her life. Jewel said that she does. She said there are some very amazing women in her life. Howard asked how tough it was to sign that contract with her mom. Jewel said that her mom said she was looking forward to being just her mom but she knew it was over at that time. She said she knew she'd never hear from her again and she was right.
Howard asked if her son would ever want to meet her. Jewel said she has spoken to him about it and she knows that he'll want to know about it when he grows up. She said that she and her dad have a healed relationship now. She said that they still have to build back trust. She said that it felt good to write about all of these abusive relationships. Howard said it seems like they were all abusive.
Howard said Jewel went to live with her aunt in Hawaii. She wanted to get away from Alaska. Howard said they nicknamed her ''tuna'' in Hawaii. that was slang for slut. Howard said that they said she was fucking all of the guys in school. Howard asked if it was about her beauty. She said that she got the feeling it was their terrorism tactic. She said she wasn't a popular girl or anything. Howard said he'd figure she was the prom queen type. She said ''Oh god, no.'' Howard said she had that and then her aunt's husband was yelling at her about her fucking the boys. Howard said she goes back to Alaska to live with her mom eventually. Howard said that her mom announces she has cancer and she has to go off to cancer treatments and leaves her again. Howard said it's just un-fucking-believable. Howard said he would feel bad about himself if this happened to him. Robin said it has a lot to do with your self worth.
Howard said Jewel found out that her mom may not have even had cancer. She might have just wanted to get away from being a mother again. Howard said that Jewel describes that she had saved $400 and it disappeared. She said that may have been in the pre-release version of the book and she's not going to say anything about that.
Howard asked Jewel if she's the hottest woman on the planet because men treat her like that. Howard said all men hit on anything that walks. She said that men are trying to get away with anything they can and trying to get away with it. Howard said she applied for a Nanny job and the guy hit on her. Howard said it would have robbed her soul if she had done anything. Jewel said that it would have.
Howard said that she used her divorce to write some songs for her new album. Howard said that he's not saying she sabotaged her marriage to do that but sometimes this stuff comes along because of pain. Jewel said she doesn't write well while she's in pain but after the pain she can write well. Howard asked what the name of the song was that she did with Dolly Parton. She said it was ''My Father's Daughter.'' Howard asked if it was about her father. She said it's actually not a painful song. She said that she thought back about her dad and he wasn't a bad guy. She said that he had no shot at being a parent because he was abused as a child. She said that it's about learning new emotional patterns. She said that her dad stepped up and did his best. She said they could have ended up in foster care. Howard asked if he ever asked why he married her mother. She said that she had an affect on people that even she felt. She said she thinks it's an act.
Howard asked how she got Dolly Parton to do the song. Jewel said she wrote her a letter and she agreed to do it. Jewel said she showed up early and looked amazing. Howard asked if she was in the studio with her. Jewel said they were both in Nashville. Howard asked if she can tell Dolly that she fucked up and do it again. Jewel said that Dolly told her to boss her around if she needs to. She said that she had her own musical director there too. She said you don't have to tell Dolly anything. She said she's incredibly skilled.
Howard asked how long it took to produce the song. Jewel said they were in there for about an hour. Howard said then she runs off and does something else. Jewel said she felt very good about her doing the song. She said she didn't have to do it. Howard said it's just a business relationship. Jewel said that she ran off to work on some NBC shows but she thinks they'll hang out again. Howard asked if she can do the song solo. Jewel said she can.
Howard said the new album is called ''Picking Up The Pieces.'' Jewel said the song is about her grandparents and how they had this life in such a tough place in Alaska. She said that some people don't know it but her dad is on a show called ''Alaska The Last Frontier.'' Howard had Jewel perform her new song ''My Father's Daughter'' after that.
After the song Howard said that was a beautiful song. Howard asked why she needs Dolly Parton on that song. Jewel said her voice is how she pictures her voice in the future. Howard said that you can tell what she's talking about when she sings that song. Jewel said that it is pretty private stuff but people cry when they hear it. They can relate to it. Howard said that he might have to read the book while listening to the album.
Howard said he loves Neil Young and Jewel recorded her first album on Neil's ranch. Howard said even that turned bad. Howard said he hates this. He said he feels when he's around new people they think they're too hip for the room. Howard said she was hanging out with Neil and she asked if he was playing a C chord. Howard said that's a legitimate question. Neil got up and walked out on her though. Howard said then his daughter gets a hold of her and said that he ignores you if he thinks what you say is stupid. Howard said that has to sting. Howard said she's heard enough of that in her life. Jewel said that they get along great now. She said that maybe Neil didn't even hear her. She said she was doing the album as a favor for someone and she did it at Neil's place using his band. She said there was more to that story than what Howard said. Howard said he'd kill himself if he was rejected like that. Robin said Howard has some of that in him too.
Jewel said that she eventually freaked out and lost it when she had to go out and do an acoustic set for the same audience that Neil was playing for. She said Neil stuck his finger in her face and told her to go out there and give them no respect. She said she went out and did her quietest song and you could hear a pin drop in the Garden. She said it was amazing.
Jewel said that Bob Dylan believed in her and she kept going thanks to him. She said that she sold like 12 albums and he told her to keep going no matter what.
Howard said Jewel told a great story about Sean Penn asking her to write a song for a movie he did. Howard said that he called her dad asking to speak to her. Howard said that her dad hung up on Sean Penn. Howard said he was just looking to hire her or was he looking to meet her. Jewel said they did date. She said that she was in love with him eventually. She said that he believed in her when no one else did. She said having that go away was hard. Howard said that she saw him for about a year. Howard said that stuff becomes public. She said it was actually very quiet. She said she never wanted to be known for who she was dating. She said they enjoyed each other but she never wanted to be famous for that. Howard said he gets the feeling that some celebrities call the tabloids to get in them. Jewel said that she would turn down going to public places and things like that. Howard said he would be so proud if he was dating someone who was on the red carpet of an event and he'd go. Jewel said that he was very supportive and she did go to the Venice Film festival with him. She said that she couldn't afford to be known for dating someone. She said she wanted to be known for her mind and heart.
Jewel told Howard that she turned down that show on MTV where they had people living in a house. She said that she didn't think she was strong enough emotionally to do that. She said she also didn't want to be known for that. She said she wanted to be a singer/songwriter. Howard said most people can't say no to that. He said that's a good thing for her. He said that you have to pay your dues and not become instantly famous. Jewel said that she knew she was vulnerable and she could end up being a statistic. She said she went about it scientifically and she didn't want to take any shortcuts. Jewel said she tried to go very slowly and build with a good foundation. She said she was an agoraphobic and she worked her way through that to get over it. Howard asked if she read a lot to get her information. She said she did. She said she did meditation too.
Howard said his mother had a lot of stuff like this in her life. He said that she figured it all out. Howard said that people who are abandoned rise to the occasion.
Howard gave Jewel plugs for her new book and album. He said that she met Tupac Shakur at a party once and 3 days later he was shot in Vegas. Howard said she could have been there if she had gone. Howard said that must have freaked her out. Jewel said that life is full of crazy paths you can go down. She said that she could have done things in her life that would have screwed her up. She said that there are so many bad decisions she could have made.
Howard said he had Rob Lowe in there and he talked about doing an acting thing with Jewel. Howard said that he descried that he didn't want to kiss him. Howard played her a clip about how she didn't want to kiss him. In the clip Rob talked about how Jewel was supposed to kiss him in this thing but she didn't want to kiss him. Rob said the script called for it. Howard said he admires her for not doing that. Howard asked what was going on there. Jewel said it wasn't that big of a deal. She said she had just gone through some stuff with her mom and she was in a bad place emotionally. She said that her son was there too. She said she had asked the producers if she had to do it. She said she ended up doing it and it turned out okay. She said that it might have been unprofessional for her to take a role and do that.
Howard gave Jewel some more plugs for all of her stuff. Howard said she has to go out and promote now. She said she loves singing but she doesn't get a lot of sleep. She said she is going to try to figure out how to do it with her son on the road with her. She said that you can't sleep so it almost necessitates drug use. Howard said she didn't start drinking until she was 30. Howard said she must have seen bad behavior in bars and at home. Howard asked why she started. She said it was just time to become an alcoholic. She said she's not really a drinker though. Jewel told Howard about why she wrote her book and how you can't avoid pain. She said you have to face it head on. She said drinking just adds pain.
Howard asked if Jewel is dating or still single. Jewel said she is dating. Howard asked how that's going. She said it's going good. Howard asked if it's Rob Lowe. She said it is not. Howard said it's not David Spade who was very taken with her at the birthday bash. Howard said Spade thinks she's the funniest woman on the planet. Howard asked how one applies to date her. Jewel said it's hard to meet people. She asked Howard how he dated. Robin said he broadened his circle for a while. Howard said he did but he figured it out rapidly. Howard said Jewel has a son so she has to be careful dating. Howard asked about how it happens that she dates someone. Howard asked if she would go back to Sean Penn now that he's single again. She said they saw each other not long ago. She said she had to ask if she could talk about him in her book. She said it was nice to communicate with him again.
Howard asked if a guy has to be Superman to date her. Jewel said she doesn't care if the guy is famous or not. She said some guys don't like to go out with you if you make more money than they do.
Howard said he's getting the hi sign so he has to wrap up. Howard thanked her for doing the Eric the Actor song for them. Howard said he knows Eric would have loved that. Howard thanked her for singing her song for them too. Howard gave her some plugs for her new album ''Picking Up The Pieces'' and for her book ''Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story''. They wrapped up a short time later and went to break. As they were going to break they played Jewel's cover of Howard Stern's ''Silver Nickels and Golden Dimes.''
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Howard said Jewel looked awfully hot today. He said she had one of those dresses on that split in the middle. Howard said she's looking very good. Howard said it's best if she remains single.
Howard played another Trump bit where they had him talking about Bobby Jindle while he was speaking. Howard said don't ask how they find these inner thoughts. Robin said they can say they left a microphone open at the debate. Howard had a few more clips of fake Donald giving his thoughts on the candidates while they were speaking. Howard said they could have Trump come in but they'd have to talk politics. Howard said he wants to talk about women. Howard said he can't do that though. Howard played a few more clips of fake Trump. Howard said he's very honest. That's why people love him.
Howard said he has a clip of a radio show doing birthday shout outs. Howard said they managed to get the name Yeasty Nuts on the air. Howard played the clip and said that they had to say it was a Chinese name to get it on there. It was like Yee Sti Noots. Howard said the guy said it twice. Howard said that it's Sweaty Nuts' cousin. Howard said that's beautiful. He said it still excites him.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said the best part of the final America's Got Talent was the bit about Howard. Howard said that was nice. Mariann said that she lost her crown. She said she wore it for 4 years. Robin said that Mariann wasn't wearing it the other night when she was there. Mariann said she had 17 fans there on Tuesday night... Howard hung up on her. Howard said he has no idea what she was saying.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who said ''Thank God. Finally.'' He said he thought he was banned from the show. Howard said he's not banned. Howard said he sometimes calls in when he can't get to him. Hanzi said there was a rumor that he passed on and he knows that Howard and his trolls were starting that. Howard asked what his motive would be with that. Hanzi asked if he read the Stuttering John and Artie shit. Howard said he heard that John and Artie were negative about him. He said he was hurt but what can he do. Hanzi said they didn't bad mouth him. He said that they said he went PC. Howard said he hears that all the time. Howard said listen to the beginning of the show to hear how politically correct he is. Howard said he's been hearing that stuff every day of his life. Howard said people want him to be something they want. He hung up on Hanzi and said he's not sure why he entertains him. Howard said people think he should do the same thing over and over again. He said he's not like that. Howard said these people have a perception of what he should be and they comment on it. Howard said if they didn't care then they wouldn't comment on him. He said he'd be nobody. He'd be obscure. Robin said he'd be Hanzi.
Howard said Hanzi lives with his dad and mom. He said he makes a living himself. Howard said people go nuts because he was on America's Got Talent. He said they said that was his sell out moment. Howard said if he has a moment with a guest that's selling out. He said if he doesn't do a big he did 20 years ago that's a sell out. He wonders why they keep listening if that's the way they feel.
Howard said that he no longer relates to the common man. He said it's been that way for 17 years. Howard said he is talking about his life and that's it. He said he knows people are envious of his life. He said he feels the weight of it. Howard asked what he's supposed to do. He said he's trying to do the best he can. He knows some people don't like the show anymore but that's fine. He said he can't kill this show no matter what. He said maybe he'd go out and find something new to do if he could kill it. Howard said he can be anything he wants to be. He doesn't have to answer to anybody. Howard said Hanzi should call into a show he actually likes and be done with him. He doesn't care.
Howard said he doesn't care if you even like him. Robin said she's hurt by that. Howard said he cares about Robin. He said he's always liked her. Howard said his entire career he's heard about how to do his show. Howard said reporters, program directors... He said he's doing this show the way he wants to. He said it is The Howard Stern Show. He said what he's doing now is about the best he can do. Howard said he's not interested in repeating what he's done in the past. Howard said people want him to do more of his Parent's voices but he only does it when he feels it. He said he thought the show jumped the shark when Al Rosenberg left.
Howard said many days he walks out and he was proud of the show. Howard said he thinks they do good work. Howard said he wants the guy in the car to feel like they're not even wanting to get out of the car at work. Howard said this is the show and that's what he's got. He said take it or leave it. Howard said he doesn't like people poking him with a stick and talking about how he should do the show. Howard said he doesn't give a fuck. Robin said they didn't create him. Howard said he doesn't want anyone's help. Howard said he will do whatever he wants and he doesn't care if he's fired.
Howard said he really doesn't like people like Hanzi calling in from Loserville and telling him how to do the show. Howard said there are people who don't like change. He said if you don't like it then stop listening. He said he doesn't give two rats ass shits about his popularity.
Howard said you can watch Jeff the Drunk's Periscope if you want entertainment. Howard picked up the phone and Jeff was there but sounded like he was across the trailer from the phone. Howard said that's his new set up because he's on Periscope. Jeff picked up the phone so Howard asked what happened. Jeff had him on speaker so he got feedback from that. Howard said now it's echoing. Jeff said he was taking a piss.
Shuli came in and said that one item that Jeff wanted was delivered. He got the 50 inch TV that was on his Wishlist on Amazon.com. Howard said he is shocked that anyone would pay money to buy something for Jeff. Howard said they bought him a TV. Shuli said Jeff has merch now too. Howard said Wendy the Slow Adult has a Wishlist now too.
Howard picked up on The Lump and said that they get more email and letters from people who say without him they'd hate Jeff. The Lump said that he hates Jeff. Howard said he saw him on his neck when Jeff was in high school. The Lump said he has been on Jeff for a very long time. Jeff said ''Fuck you Mike'' because he knows who is doing the voice now. Howard said he named The Lump Mike. Howard said Jeff is the only one who can call him mike because he's on his neck. Howard asked if his last name is Huckabee. The Lump said that he can call him Mike if he wants to. Howard asked Jeff if he's Periscoping now. Jeff said of course he is. Howard said he tried to watch Jeff this weekend but it's so disturbing. Howard said the most disturbing thing is that dead arm. Howard said it just hangs there. Howard asked why he doesn't remove it. Jeff asked why he didn't call in. Howard said Jeff asks for calls but he hates his callers. Shuli said he tells everyone to go fuck themselves.
Howard said he thinks Jeff should get that arm removed. Jeff said he wishes The Lump was dead too. He said he wishes Mike was dead. Howard asked JD about the first clip he has. JD said that was last week after Howard hung up on him. Howard said this is right after Jeff got off the phone with him. Howard played the clip and Jeff said his goodbye and said he doesn't know why they cherish The Lump. He said it wasn't even a lump, it was a bump. He called them morons. Shuli said Jeff is calling them morons.
Shuli said Jeff takes calls from people who aren't even haters and he goes off on them. Howard said Jeff gives out his number and then gets pissed when they call. Howard played a clip of Jeff talking about how he's changing his number because asshole call. Then he takes some calls and goes off on the people calling in.
Howard took a call from Wendy the Slow Adult who had to thank someone for getting her a bowling ball on her Wishlist. She said that she got a new ball and bag. Howard asked if she has Periscope. Wendy said she doesn't. She said she's not sure how she could do it because she'd have to use too much data. Howard asked Jeff how he manages that. Jeff said all of his stuff is going through the internet but he's selling mugs and T-shirts too. Howard said Wendy just has to do that. Howard said he can't believe anyone is buying that stuff. Wendy was saying something so Howard said she's being a retarded now. JD said that Jeff has a GoFundMe for his internet bill. Gary said Wendy sent over about 14 pictures of herself as Freddy Kruger.
Howard said that Wendy has blank DVDs on her Wishlist. Howard asked what he's doing with them. Shuli said she asked for blank CDs too. Howard said The Lump needs a Wishlist too. Jeff said that the funniest things The Lump ever said was that Wendy likes watching blank video tapes.
Jeff said that yesterday was a big day in his life. The Lump asked if he didn't shit himself. Jeff said he broke 50,000 followers on Periscope. He said he also has 10 million hearts and he got a shout out on the Golf Channel. Howard said that was just 10 seconds of horrible boredom. Shuli said that he and JD are in touch and they have fans who sift through Jeff's shows to find the good stuff. The Lump said that he's still waiting for Jeff to shower. Jeff said he's a fucking asshole. Howard asked when he takes that sling off. Jeff said he sleeps with it on. Shuli asked if they can drop his arm for New Years. The Lump said the great part about Periscope is that you can't smell Jeff on there.
Howard had another clip of Jeff talking about his callers and how much he hates them. Jeff tells them that he'd never be able to call 911 if he had to. Jeff takes a call from a guy and curses him out. Jeff said he's just going to go back to singing and having a good time.
Jeff said he's getting a second line on Tuesday. He's not getting rid of the other line. Shuli said he has to give him the other number so he can be in touch.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Jeff uses a sponge to wash. Shuli said the other day he spilled a cup of coffee. Howard said he saw that one. Howard played a clip of Jeff talking to people on Periscope and telling them that he has pain in his dead arm. The Lump said that his arm is dead and he's praying for the rest of him to catch up. Howard asked Jeff why he complains about the callers not having anything to talk about.
Howard asked Jeff about what he watches on that 50 inch TV. Jeff said he has it on his TV stand. Shuli said the trailer tips when he puts the TV on one side. The Lump said you should see Jeff smoking on Periscope because it looks like Jeff is constantly on fire. Howard said he has a clip of Jeff using a new device to smoke and coughing like crazy when he takes a puff. Howard said that he's a real crowd pleaser. Howard said coughing is his Stairway to Heaven.
Jeff told Howard to play his PGA mention. Howard said he wants people to stick with ''Baba Booey.'' Howard played the ''Chello'' mention though. The Lump said ''Way to go asshole.'' Howard said that if The Lump wasn't on with Jeff he doesn't think he'd bother with Jeff. Jeff said he thinks he'd give that mention a ''noine.'' There was no laughter.
Howard said he has a clip of Jeff singing ''It's the End of the World As We Know It'' and it wasn't even close to sounding like the original. Jeff started coughing and just let the song play. The Lump said he's waiting for the end of Jeff's world.
Shuli said that it seems like every time Jeff goes on Periscope Bobo goes on right after. Howard said Bobo sets up shtick. Shuli said it's so bad. He said he's doing pratfalls and putting chocolate on his hands like it's blood. JD said he doesn't want to put on fake bullshit on the show so he doesn't even want Howard to play the Bobo stuff on the show. Jeff said at least he's real.
Howard said it would be interesting to see Bobo's family. The Lump said that Jeff is like Louis C.K. compared to Bobo. Jeff asked why Howard never plays the good songs he sings. Howard told him they're talking about Bobo right now. They played a Bobo song parody after that. Howard said that was by Psych.
Howard asked Jeff if that's it. Jeff said that The Lump got in his jokes today. Shuli asked what Jeff has planned for today. Jeff said he may do something in the cooking department. Howard said he did see Jeff spill coffee the other day. Jeff said he didn't spill any on himself. He said it all went on the floor. The Lump said that Jeff sucks and said goodbye. Jeff said he might suck but The Lump swallows.
Howard said he's drained from today's show. He said he has to take a break. He said he's worn out from the talk ups he did earlier. Fred played the songs again so he had to do the talk ups like Broadway Bill Lee again. Howard said he thinks he's getting it. He said he's saying absolutely nothing though. Howard said he is an admirer of that guy. Howard told Fred to stop it with the songs when he played a third one. They went to break after that.
Howard said the guy who played Jimmy Olsen in the old Superman TV series has died. Howard said that he was talking to the guys about the In Memorium on the Emmys. Howard said he's reminded of who died. Howard said you forget about them immediately. Howard said that it's a weird thing that In Memorium. Howard said they always snub someone. Howard said that Lilly Munster died and she was left out. Howard said that it was actually Yvonne Craig. Howard said that she was Bat Girl. Howard said that she was on the Batman TV show. Robin said she doesn't remember her. Howard said if she was a fan she'd remember her. Howard asked whose daughter Batgirl is. Robin said she doesn't remember that. Howard said it's commissioner Gordon's daughter. Howard said he can't talk comic books with her anymore.
Howard said there is a whole hierarchy in the In Memorium. Howard went through how they do it and if they show a picture, video or video and audio. Howard said even in death they screw with it. Howard said Joan Rivers got both. Howard said Leonard Nimoy got both. He said even Frank Gifford got that. Howard said some people get just a little video. Howard said Jerry Weintraub only gets a still. Howard said Wes Craven only got a still. Howard and Gary went through some other names and talked about if they got a still, video or video and audio.
Howard said that they snubbed Christopher Lee. Robin said maybe that's because they thought he was more of a movie star than a TV star. Howard said he'll give her that one. Howard said he has to watch that In Memorium again to see who got audio and video.
Howard said they had better get to news. He played her in with a song parody. They spent a short time talking about the guy singing about Robin's enema and making coffee truffle butter. Howard said that might be the darkest, deepest, creepiest thing. Howard asked who did that one. Fred said that's Jesse from San Diego.
Robin started her news with more Emmy news. Robin said Tracy Morgan made his first TV appearance since being in that accident. Robin had some audio of Tracy talking about how he was relieved when he woke up from his 8 day coma that he wasn't the one who messed up. Robin said he got a standing ovation. Howard said they love Tracy. Robin said they do and they also love Allison Janney. Howard said a lot of Private Parts actors are doing well. He said he sees a lot of Paul Giamatti stuff lately. Howard said that little girl on Modern Family played his daughter too. Robin said she didn't realize that. Howard said he always tells Beth that she played his daughter. Howard said that Beth gets more and more annoyed. Gary said her name is Sarah Hyland. Howard said she played his daughter in the end scene of Private Parts. Robin said she's all over the newspapers today because she looked so pretty last night. Robin read more about Allison Janney winning some Emmys last night. Robin had some audio of her acceptance speech. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin had more Emmy clips to play. She had a clip of Julia Louis Dreyfus clip and that led to Howard asking why she even does TV. Howard said she doesn't need the money. Robin had Howard play some more clips of acceptance speeches from Emmy winners. She had one from Uzo Aduba who was crying as she accepted her award. Howard said she's crying so hard she sounds like Mr. Ed.
Robin read a story about a British TV show where they had a prime Minister sticking his penis in a pig. Robin said now there's a book out saying that the British Prime Minister, David Cameron, stuck his penis in a dead pig's mouth as part of an initiation at a university. Robin said they have photographic evidence of that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thought the mentalist on America's Got Talent was going to win. Howard said he thinks America got it right with the guy who won. Robin said singers weren't the favorites with the voters. Howard said he's kind of glad. He said he looks forward to the guys like the Regurgitator, Oz or the ventriloquist. Howard said he turned to Robin and asked about the ventriloquist and she said she wanted to fuck him. Robin said she said she wanted to marry him, not fuck him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he finally got his rock band. Howard had no idea what he was talking about. The caller asked if he watched the video of The Wack Packers Who have Died video. Howard said he did. He said it was good. Howard thanked the guy for that. The caller said he had to give a shout out to Dave Grohl. He kept saying that he finally got a rock band. Howard said he's really scared of this guy. The caller, Tyler, said he's the most creative Wack Packer he has. Howard let the guy go a short time later and did a live commercial read.
Robin read about the pope's upcoming visit. They spent a short time talking about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about him turning down the announcing job on Neil Patrick Harris's show. Howard said he thinks that Neil would know that his answer would be no being the superfan he is. Howard said he has no hard feelings toward him. He said he felt bad turning him down.
Howard took a call from Balls who was muffled so much Howard didn't understand what he was saying. Balls said he'll call back when he has a better connection. He said he did a great interview with Jewel. He said he also loved the Eric the Actor tribute. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go. Howard said they will be doing a tribute to Eric all week on Sternthology. Howard said he had some clips but they're not there. Howard said the Eric stuff will be on Sternthology all week on Howard 101.
Robin read a story about the person who confronted Trump about President Obama being Muslim. Robin said that Ben Carson said he doesn't think a Muslim could be president. Robin had some audio of Carson talking about how he doesn't believe that would be a good idea putting someone like that in charge of the country. Robin said that's a kind of weird thing to say. Robin had audio of another person talking about the Muslim thing.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump getting skewered for not handling that question. Robin had audio of Andy Samburg talking about that on the Emmys last night. Howard didn't get the joke. Benjy said he has a guess. He tried to figure it out and Fred went along with that. Howard said he really doesn't get it. Benjy told him to just laugh. Howard said that's the easy way out. Howard was still trying to figure out the joke while Robin had him playing other clips.
Robin read a story about Bernie Sanders taking shots at Ben Carson about his anti-Muslim President comments.
Robin read about how Hillary Clinton is weighing in on the Trump comments. Howard said he doesn't like this new effort where they're trying to make Clinton funny and likeable. Howard said it seems to be working in the polls but he doesn't like it. Robin had some audio of Clinton talking about the Trump comments. Howard said Hillary will be calling in tomorrow to talk about that stuff.
Robin read a story about Carly Fiorina doing well at the debates. Howard said when she starts in with the planned parenthood thing she loses him. Howard said planned parenthood is more than just abortions. Howard spent a short time talking about that with Robin. Howard said they lose him on the abortion thing. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin had some audio of Hillary Clinton talking about planned parenthood and defending it.
Robin read a story about a baby that was found about a year ago and they have identified it. Robin said it was left in a trash bag at Logan Airport. Robin said that the mother of the child had a boyfriend who allegedly killed the child thinking it was possessed. Robin wondered if the woman stayed with the guy after that. Howard said he heard some of the story but he didn't want to know more.
Robin read a story about Joe Biden and that led to Howard talking about his wife. Howard said she's a good looking woman. He wondered how much younger she is. Fred looked it up and said it's 8 years difference. He said she's 64. Howard said she looks good. Howard said that he'd like to know if he goes down on her. Howard said they can ask him in a debate if he enters the race.
Robin read a story about the 14 year old kid who was arrested when he brought a home made clock to school. Robin said that Sarah Palin chimed in on that. Howard said whenever she defends or attacks something he goes the other way. He said he just knows she has to be wrong. Robin said the teacher knows this kid and he is a bright kid. Robin said you'd wish that would make a difference.
Robin asked Howard if he has ever heard the term ''Mercury in Retrograde.'' Howard said he has. Robin said she has friends who say that all the time. She said it seems like it's always in retrograde. Howard said that anyone who says that, don't be friends with them. Robin said that they say that more and more people are buying into it. Howard said there is nothing to astrology and don't buy into it. Robin said people believe it can cause bad luck. Robin said an astronomer is saying that believing in that is ridiculous. Howard said he read something about how 50 percent of Marine Biology has been eliminated since 1970. Howard said he couldn't believe that. Howard said that scares the shit out of him.
Robin read a story about how 50 percent of the NFL players out there have brain injuries from playing. Howard said that game is so fucking dangerous.
Robin read a story about a man who was found dead in a jail cell. Robin said he was arrested for allegedly fondling a girl. Robin said he died of an apparent suicide.
Robin read a story about a race car driver who died after he won the race and hit a wall while doing a victory lap. Robin said they're not sure how that happened.
Robin read about the box office. Robin said the Maze Runner Scorch Trials was first place. Robin said Black Mass took in close to $23 million. Robin said The Visit was in third place. Robin said they say that the Whitey Bulger movie is reversing Johnny Depp's decline at the box office. Howard said you forget how good an actor he is because of those shitty movies he did. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon went over some of the other things that happened on the show today. He went over the In Memorium thing and what went on with Jeff the Drunk and with Jewel today too. Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show after that.
Jon said Jewel sounded great today. He said her voice is so distinctive. He said she looked fantastic too. He said she has lived some life. Jon said they have the poll up too. He said he knows there are a lot of segments missing from the poll but that's what they have up today.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up Eric the Actor and the werewolves in New Mexico thing. Jon said they left out the Carrie Underwood call too. He said there is just so much to choose from. Jon said Eric was a very polarizing character. He said people loved to hate him. He said he thinks that people have put away their hard feelings toward him. Jon said he has to take a break and get to more of that later.
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Gary said everyone from the show was winning but Anna Chlumsky. Gary said everyone in her area was winning last night. Randall said it's just good to be nominated.
Jon said that Howard played a few moments from the Emmys and people are getting serious. Gary said it's getting ridiculous. He said even when Allison Janney won she had to throw out the addiction thing. He said it's a comedy though.
Jon asked about the fallout they got from The Dictator. Randall said they didn't expect that at all. He said they ended up on lock down. He said when the movie came out everything stopped but then things calmed down. He said it was crazy. Jon said the movie was shot much earlier. Randall said they were shooting the final episode of Fresh off the Boat and they were on their final episode. He said he was on the news every day while that movie thing was going on. Gary said that Franco and Rogen were on the show that morning and if it had been anyone else he thinks that they would have skipped the show.
Jon said that he has Paul Scheer on with them too. Paul is also on Fresh off the Boat. Paul and Jon talked about Eric the Actor and Gary said that Eric was a pain in the ass. Paul said that Bobo is a pain in the ass too. He asked Gary if he would miss him. Gary said that he would. Paul said if Bobo died a year from now would they be doing this kind of memorial. Gary said Bob might get one day but not a full week. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
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Randall said when their show started they thought the show was going to be super racist. He said they got that too. He said people saw it and realized it was coming from the perspective of the family. Gary said that the show is nothing like what you think it's going to be. He said it's very smart.
Jon took a call from a woman who said last year her brother came to visit her and they drove from Tucson to L.A. together and they were playing hours of Eric the Actor stuff right after he died and it was all so great. Jon said that Eric is still with them on the channels.
Jon said Jewel was in today and she looked and sounded great. Jon said her childhood sounded like it was really rough. Gary said it sounds like she grew up in a mine field and managed to not step on a land mine. Jon said it was one thing after the other. Gary said she seems very well adjusted for someone who had a life like that. Paul said she's like a walking Lifetime movie. He said she's always funny on the show. He said she's a favorite every time she's on.
Jon said that they asked her to be on The Real World and she turned it down. He said that most people would just do it but she turned it down not wanting to get famous like that. Randall said he ran into a lot of that stuff early in his career. He said he would have felt weird about taking some roles. He said he wouldn't take them and it was a tough choice. He said he needed the money so it was really tough. Jon asked Paul if he has had to do that. Paul said at the end of the day you are judged on your work so you have to think about what you're doing.
Gary said he was offered a chance to do Celebrity Fit Club. He said that it paid like $50,000 to start but there were incentives. He said it got to the point where he figured he had a career and if he took it then it would be like raising the white flag on your career.
Jon said it's one thing to take a job if you need it. Gary said he didn't need it to eat. Paul said he remembers on Conan they wanted him to shave his head on air. He said he refused to do it because he didn't want to get it shaved for $300. He said Conan was going to do it in the audience. He realizes now he should have done it.
Jon said Jewel did a song about Eric the Actor and she did a fantastic job. Gary said she completely embraced it too. He said between that and the other songs she's done on the show she's cemented herself as a part of the show. Paul said he thinks this will be played in rotation all the time.
Jon said that he and Gary love Fresh off the Boat and you should catch it 8:30 Tuesday nights on ABC. Jon asked if Randall is going to be on Veep again. Randall said he hopes so but he's not sure. He said they do shoot in L.A. so maybe. Jon let Randall go and said that Paul is going to stick around.
Jon asked Paul if he has had enough of Jeff the Drunk on Periscope yet. Paul said that he still checks in once in a while. He said that he is amazing. Gary said Jeff had the best line today when he said just because he has a dead arm he has feelings on the inside.
Jon asked if they're shocked when they hear that Jeff has a new 50 inch TV. Gary said he deserves a crumb here and here. Gary said that somebody sent that to him. Jon said he realizes that. Gary said he has seen High Pitch Eric approach people and brow beat them until they write him a check to shut him up. Gary said his friend did that to cover a cable bill. Gary said his friend was at an appearance he did and Eric told him how he wasn't able to pay his cable bill so his friend paid for it. Paul said he thinks Eric is more manipulative than they know.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard is more laid back now that he's done with America's Got Talent. Gary said he thinks Howard still has to ease back into it. He said he thinks he's still decompressing from it. He said it was just last week that it ended.
Paul said he thinks Howard has screwed himself. He said he has no break and it may affect them negatively. He said he thinks they'll still feel it. Gary agreed. He said that Howard realized that most of his summer was spent doing America's Got Talent.
Jon said that Howard and Robin talked about the Emmys a lot today. He said he felt that Andy Samburg did a great job. Paul said he was shocked Howard didn't get the uncle joke today. He said it was so simple.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and asked Paul what his favorite Eric the Actor moment was. Paul said he thinks it was the Johnny Fratto ''You know what to do'' thing. Gary said he picked the Derek from Texas moment. Jon said they'll have a montage of his greatest moments today on Sternthology. Jon got in some more plugs and wrapped up. They were done around 11:55am.
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Howard started the show talking about how many things he had to talk about today. He said Mama Monkey was yelled out at a golf tournament. He had a clip to play. Howard said this broke new ground. Howard played the clip and a guy let out the Mama Monkey. Howard said that is not endorsed by Gary because he doesn't like that. Howard said there are some Tata Toothy shout outs too. Howard played those clips as well. Howard said there were some Baba Booey's as well. He played another clip of a guy getting in a good one. Howard said he had another one that was excellent. Howard played that and it was a short but audible one.
Howard said he was talking to the boys about Dancing with the Stars. He said the only reason to watch is for Gary Busey. Howard said they were wondering when he went from being a great actor to what he is today. Howard asked if it was the motorcycle accident or before that. Howard said that he can't dance. He said he's like Frankenstein. Howard said Chaka Kahn is the worst dancer. He said she's worse than Paula Deen. Howard said Gary Busey kisses that dance partner and she cringes. Robin said his teeth are much bigger than Baba Booey's. Howard said there are people in the audience and his sister is one who looks just like him. He said his son looks just like him too. Howard said the coach looks younger than Gary and he looks like Gary too. He said the whole thing is crazy. Howard said he thinks that Gary must think that this dance partner is in love with him.
Howard said the judges must be afraid of Gary because they praise him after he dances horribly. Howard said the show is horrible this season. Robin said it's the worst line up ever. Howard said they got this kid whose title is ''Internet sensation.'' Howard said he must have a couple hundred thousand followers on the internet. Howard said the people who have a lot of followers must be really nice to their followers. Howard said they say they're going to do something kooky and they go up and do something really dumb. Howard said you follow them because you have no friends of your own. Howard said this kid is on Dancing with the Stars and the mom is there. He said she cries whenever her son is dancing. Howard said the season is just so bad.
Howard said Pam Anderson was on Dancing with the Stars and she'll be on the show today. Howard said it was fun to see her dance but no one voted for her. He said women are jealous of her. Howard said he has to ask her about that. Howard said that had to be a low point for her. Howard said everything bothers him. He said even Dancing with the Stars.
Howard said he was reading the NY Daily News and he went to the TV page. He said he used to read David Hinckley's column. He said today and yesterday there was no TV page. Howard said he was sort of sad about that. Howard said David was never nice to him but he did enjoy reading his column. Howard said he was sad to see that he's gone. Howard said he felt like things are changing in the journalism thing. He said they used to be flush with money over there but they've gotten rid of Mike Lupica too. Howard said they just don't have the money for these people. Howard said David didn't have kind words for him most of the time but he did come around recently. Howard said he always read his column though. He said he appreciated that he paid attention to the industry. He said he's sorry to see he no longer has a job there after 30 years. Howard said he always enjoyed reading him even if David didn't like him.
Gary said they actually fired over 50 reporters there at the Daily News. Robin and Howard said they were just reading some of the columns yesterday and now they're fired. Howard said Marianne Garvey is still there. He said they still have a couple of articles and that's it. Howard said the newspaper business is weird now. Howard said he's on Twitter and gets most of his news on there. He said he gets it from CNN, FOX News, The Hollywood Reporter and things like that. Gary said they say they're getting rid of the entire business section of the Daily News. Howard said he enjoys that section. Gary said they say it will cease to exist after Friday.
Howard said technology is changing everything. Howard said artists are against Spotify and things like that. Howard said Bob Lefsetz explains it all very well. Howard said that when radio stations were playing music they paid no one. Howard said now the artists who are embracing the streaming services are getting paid. He said someone has to figure all of this shit out. Howard said he can't do it because he's tired.
Howard said he wishes he could turn back the clock. He said he'd like to get rid of Twitter. Howard said being on the radio meant you had your own personal Twitter. Howard said now everyone has access to all of those people. Howard said he doesn't want to tune into Dancing with the Stars and see ''Internet sensation.'' Howard said even Jeff the Drunk has his own channel. He said he's a TV mogul. He said the times they are a changing.
Howard said he was going to jerk off before watching the shows but then he gets sleepy. Howard said he has a problem where he feels like he came but nothing happened. He said that has started in the past couple of years. Howard said he has to make sure he has enough juice in him to bang Beth. He said she'd be insulted if he didn't have an erection. He said he has no problem with the erection thing though. He said he knows when his jizz is low though.
Howard said he refuses to get into the porn sites that Sal goes to. Howard said he likes to just go to YouPorn. He said it's all so depraved. Howard said they have ads on the side that show penises growing from little ones to big ones. He said he has to block that out when he's masturbating. Howard said he watched one porn of a MILF who was hardly a MILF. He said she was seducing a younger woman. Howard said there was no story or build up. He said that they went straight to sex. Howard said he was watching that and he thought it was happening too fast. Howard said she was licking this girl for like 10 minutes.
Howard said he bailed on the lesbian thing and watched a fake doctor porn. Howard said he watched one that was in German. He said they had an attractive young lady with a fake doctor. Howard said the fake doctor has cameras set up. Howard said the girl asks for paperwork to go to other countries. Howard said the doctor tells her that he's not going to do anything illegal. He said she says she'll do something for him if he helps her out. Robin said this is where Howard does most of his reading. Howard said that's right. He said that he has no comprehension problems watching this stuff. Howard said even when the guys write him email he asks them to talk to him about it instead.
Howard said the doctor eventually agrees to help the girl if she does something for him. He said the next thing you know she's blowing the guy and the guy has her dress hiked up and he's playing with her ass. Howard said this is good. He said he was jerking off and then the feeling left him. He said he wasted 3 tissues waiting for something to happen and it never did. Howard said he didn't have to clean up though.
Howard said he went to The Strain even before Ray Donovan so that must be his favorite show. Howard said he watched Ray Donovan after that. Then he went to Dancing with the Stars. Howard said he's still not sure when Gary Busey became the nut job. Fred said he thinks it was in 1995. Howard said he was amazing in the Buddy Holly story. Howard said he used to be a serious actor. Fred said maybe he was always nuts. He said that he does say that the accident changed his brain. That and cocaine.
Gary said with Busey he never turns down any reality show. He said he has been on everything. Gary was eating so Howard asked what it was and found out it was eggs. Howard said those poor eggs. Howard said they wanted to be chickens and they ended up in Gary's mouth.
Howard said he should play a phony phone call. Howard said he has to think about the best one he has. Howard said there's one where someone took a clip of him talking as Pat Robertson. Howard said speaking of Pat Robertson he's not sure how people give that guy money. Howard said the guy predicts that the world is going to end on September 23rd. Howard played a clip of Robertson talking about the world ending. Howard said he has a clip from 2007 where he said the world was going to end. Howard said that he predicted a terrorist attack that never happened. Howard said people continue to give him money anyway. Howard said he has another clip from 1980 when he said there was a war breaking out in Jerusalem. Howard said that he was wrong on all of those.
Howard said that it's all bullshit. He said it's provable bullshit. Howard said this is how he raises money. Howard said this guy drives him crazy. He said people send him money for that. Howard said the guy is full of shit. He said they have a food and drug administration to keep you from getting snake oil but this snake oil is okay. Howard said that he takes advantage of idiots.
Howard said they used tape of him doing his Pat Robertson impression and called into a religious show. Howard said he's doing his Pat Robertson impression and the host agrees with what he's saying. Howard said when he mentions hand job it finally offends him. Howard said the guy is going along with it until then. Howard played the clip of the phony phone call. In that Howard was talking about a relative that was possessed and the host of the show found that interesting. The clips of Howard as Pat Robertson were going on and on and the guy was going along with it until he said something about someone giving a hand job. Then a guy tells the host that the guy sounds like a troll.
Howard said that was another Chris Wilding call. Howard said he could have been a televangelist. Howard said he'd have to take some sort of sedative to get through it though. Howard did his Pat Robertson impression and talked about how he needs a private jet and things like that. Howard said he hopes that they'll send him a ton of dough. Howard said the pigeons on the street are Jewish pigeons. He said they all have a big beak. Howard said that you have to fight them. Howard said they spread disease among Christians. Howard was going on and on as Pat Robertson. He was making stuff up about the apocalypse and how he has to fight for you.
Robin said that Pat just sits there trolling like that and people buy it. Howard said he would hire Robin to sit along side him to feed him bullshit questions. Howard did more of his Pat Robertson voice and made up more stuff about squirrels and how when they're gay they become chipmunks. Howard made up more and said that Jews have big noses because that's where they hide their money. Howard said he had to take a break after that. He said that chick who sits next to Pat was a Miss America in 1973. Howard said he has to get a Miss America to sit next to him if he does that evangelist stuff. Howard said he watches all of these hows. He said he hates it but he loves it. Howard said he could raise a fortune. He was still doing his Pat Robertson voice and making stuff up. He was talking about Caitlyn Jenner and how Jews are using their foreskins to build a huge rocket to go to the moon. Howard said Robin has to go along with his bullshit to make this work. He said she can't be laughing at it. Robin said that Pat will start following Howard. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said Pamela Anderson is known by everyone. Howard said she was on Baywatch and also the Tool Time girl at the same time. Pam came in and asked when she was there last. Howard said he thinks 2008. Pam said they all look the same. She said she hasn't been to New York much so she doesn't come in much. Howard said that she was the original Tool Time girl on Home Improvement. Pam said she did both at the same time. She said she did one line at a time on Home Improvement.
Howard said they were interviewing Jeremy Jackson years ago and he was talking about how he'd sneak into her dressing room and jerk off to her. Pam didn't want to hear it but Howard had audio. Howard said every guy does that. Howard said he was looking at her book and she has prefect feet. Howard said her life must be exhausting. Howard said she must want to hide sometimes. Pam said she had some wild times with Howard. She said he came to her hotel room that time and did an interview under her desk naked. Howard said she must have a lot more fun without him. Pam said she's had a lot of fun with Howard.
Howard asked what the Baywatch movie is going to be about. Pam said they've been trying to make that for 15 years. She said she's not sure it will ever happen. Pam said they talked to her about it a long time ago. Howard said he thinks the show was right for the times. He said it was fun and sweet. Howard said his favorite episode was when David Hasslehoff did heart surgery with a pen.
Howard said he thinks Pam and Jenny McCarthy might be the most successful people to come out of Playboy. Howard said Pam did 14 covers of Playboy. Howard asked if she is the most successful. Howard said her name is known around the world. Howard said that most people don't achieve anything like that. Howard asked if she ever wonders how it happened. Pam said she wonders how it happened all the time. She said she was able to raise her songs relatively normal too. She said that they're 17 and 19 now. Howard said he never saw them in the paper at all. She said that they're in L.A. a lot but they go back and forth to Canada. She said people say they're lucky to have kids like that. Pam said her kids are over 6 feet tall and she has a hard time telling them what to do. Howard said that their dad is Tommy Lee. Howard said it must be hard for them. Pam said she has put them through a lot. She said that it might be a good example of what not to be.
Howard said that Pam has had a few disastrous relationships. Pam said she's not a good picker. She said she married the most persistent people. Howard asked if she feels like a beautiful woman. Pam said she doesn't know. She said that she might have some low self esteem. She said she had a lot going on in her life. She said that she wasn't that smart all the way through. She said she got Hepatitis from sharing a needle. She said she's going through a cure that should be by November. She said it's a 98 percent chance she'll be cured from this process. Pam said she feels like she's back now.
Howard said Pam had a childhood full of people sexualizing her. Pam said she's a happy, sad person. Howard said she has talked about all of this. He said a female babysitter molested her for years. Howard said she was told not to talk about it. Pam said she was. She said she didn't trust anyone around her kids. Howard said that she had a boyfriend who gang raped her. Pam said she's writing a new book about being compassionate and she writes about that in the first chapter. Pam said everyone has been through a lot.
Howard said Pam was gang raped at 14. Howard said most people don't come through that. Pam said she had an older man try to rape her after teaching her backgammon. She said one boyfriend tried to run her over with his car. Robin said you'd think men would want to be with her because she's so beautiful. Howard said he thinks Men want to own you. He said they forget you're a human being. Pam said when she's done with something she's done. Pam said she wished a woman dead when she was 6 years old. She said the woman died the next day. She said that she didn't tell her parents about that. Pam said that the guy who molested her died too. She said he was in a gang.
Howard asked Pam if she has gone to therapy for this stuff. Pam said she has and she loves her 80 year old therapist. She said he's been great. Howard asked if she can trust a man at all. Pam said she isn't there yet. She said she's single and focusing on her kids. She said she and Tommy are talking a lot too.
Howard said Pam did Playboy. Pam said that she thought she could empower herself by doing that. Howard said she looks great in her book (''Raw''). Howard said that she's in such good shape. Howard said her ass it tight and all of that. Howard asked if she was an athlete as a kid. She said she was a gymnast. She said that sticks with you. She said your body kind of stays the same. Howard said that most women don't look like this. Howard said he thinks the key is athletics. Howard said that she was on a high school volleyball team too. Pam said she doesn't work out now. Howard said you look back on the pictures and everything was sex. Howard said sex could have ruined her life.
Howard said Pam described herself as a nymphomaniac when she was in high school. Pam said she did want to have sex a lot. She said that even now she does. Howard asked if she was so good looking that the other girls befriended her. Pam said she still has her best friend from 7th grade. She said she never thought she was pretty. She said she thought she was cute. Howard asked if she had boyfriends. She said she did. Pam said she didn't tell her mom for years about the molestation. Pam sad that her parents were very young when they had her. She said they were 18 and 19. She said that she didn't think she could share those stories but kids should share them. She said when her mom did find out she said she was doing fine so they should just move on.
Howard asked Pam if she had a master plan for what to do with her career. Pam said she had no plan. She said she still has no plan. She said that she just falls into stuff. Pam said she didn't even go to the audition for Baywatch. She said that she had done Playboy and Home Improvement already when she got the job at Baywatch. Howard asked if she ever had a business structure and got together with a business manager. Pam said she didn't. She said she got sued by managers. She said she put all of her effort into her activism. She said that's 90 percent of what she does now. Howard said she can get a meeting with Vladimir Putin. She said she can.
Howard asked if people are actually listening to her. Pam said she thinks now more and more they are. Pam said she writes a lot of letters and she can use her image to get attention. She said climate change is the biggest issue out there right now. Howard said there was a report about marine life and how 50 percent has disappeared since 1970. Howard said that it's just gone. Howard said that means the planet is dying. Howard said the Russians and Chinese are polluting more and more. Pam said she went to Russia recently and they are getting on board more and more with all of this stuff. Pam said that Putin listened to her about the seal products they were taking in. Pam said that she was invited to the Economic conference. She said that she thinks the environment is more important so she's going there for that. Pam said that Putin was in the room with her but he wasn't speaking to her directly.
Howard said there are two Pam Anderson's. He said there's the serious one and the crazy one. Howard said she can't dress like the crazy one. Howard said she has to cover up her boobs and legs to get people to focus on her. Pam said she still wears that stuff and she uses everything she's got at all times.
Howard asked Pam about her acting and how that's going. Pam said she's done a couple of independent films and she's unrecognizable in them. Howard asked if she ever looks at the lives of Bridget Bardo, Raquel Welch or people like that to see what kind of mistakes they made. Pam said she has spoken to Raquel and Bridget. She said she talks to Bridget monthly. She said they're just trying to get by day by day. Howard said Bridget went into hiding. Pam said she's asked Bridget to go to have tea but she tells her that she's old and she doesn't want to go through the plastic surgery and all of that. Pam said that Bridget doesn't want to be photographed.
Pam said she had to go through 6 months of no phone because she was attacked. Pam said she thinks that she's on an upswing now. She said people are being more supportive and nice to her. She said that no one wants to be told they're getting old and ugly and hope they die of Hep C. Howard said that Pam is announcement person and she's just trying to make people happy. Howard said the kids see that so they must want to come to her rescue. Pam said they do want to come to her rescue. She said they also make fun of her for not having that many Instagram followers. Pam said that she tells them to just go to school and enjoy their lives.
Howard asked if it's hard for the boys to have their mom around when they have friends over. Pam said she doesn't think so. She said the kids come over and don't worry about her so much. Howard asked about Tommy and how much she sees him. Pam said they see each other more now and Tommy is strict and doesn't want them to be spoiled kids. She said that they want them to work hard. She said the kids are sort of rebelling now. She said they're both talented musicians. She said they're great actors and singers too. Pam said she's pushing for education though. She don't want to go to university but she wants them to. Howard said they have to go. Pam said they can always go whenever they want. She said that Tommy tells her to be strong and push them into it. Howard said she's trying to do tough love right now. Pam said she is. She said that they have to cut off the son who wants to drop out and make him get a job. Howard said he admires that.
Howard asked if she is failing in love with Tommy again. Pam said she never fell out of love. She said that things were crazy back then and they had to break up. She said they got married young and she thought that he was on heroin but he was taking steroids to get buff for her. She said that things fell apart though. Pam said that she loves Tommy now and the kids know they came from a loving relationship.
Howard said Kid Rock was a mistake. Pam said she was trying to make a family for her kids. She said he's really cool. She said she's not in touch now but it wasn't a mistake. She said it wasn't that much of a connection with him.
Howard said he knows Pam was with Rick Solomon. Pam said she was bamboozled into that one. Pam said that he's very persistent. Pam said that her dad was a poker player and she thought that was cool but neither of them were happy in their marriage. She said it was a big mistake. Howard said poker players are an interesting breed. Pam said Rick was brilliant. She said that it wasn't a good influence around her boys. Howard said when a guy wins a couple million in a night it must be a huge high. Pam said that he'd lose millions too. She said that she doesn't want to get into his business. She said that there wasn't much sexual connection with him either. Pam said it was just a big mess.
Howard asked if Pam is lonely. Pam said she is trying to deal with the boys and her other stuff so she's doing fine. Howard said he read she was dating a surfer. Pam said she's not dating anyone right now. She said she wants to get through the Hepatitis C thing and get through Christmas with the kids. Pam said she was told she was going to die in 10 years. She said that they said they were going to come up with a cure. She said Tommy was cured. She said it was different than what she's using. Pam said this is 12 weeks but Tommy's was 6 months. Pam said that she has headaches and she's tired now. Howard said he was afraid that Pam was going to fuck up her liver by drinking when they'd go out. Pam said that was a way of acting out. She said she had some wild times. Pam said she doesn't drink like she used to. She said she's much healthier now. Howard asked if the treatment is expensive. Pam said it's like $150,000 but it's covered by insurance. Pam said they did a study and they found that it is 98 percent effective. She said hopefully the cost will come down.
Howard gave Pam a plug for her book ''Raw'' which is out now. Howard said he thought this book was for guys to beat off to. Pam said she's writing another one called The Sensual Vegan. She said that this book ''Raw'' is going to raise money for the charities that she deals with.
Howard said books like ''Raw'' are what people are doing these days. Howard said there are a lot of pictures and a little bit of writing. Pam said the money goes to her foundation so it's all good. Howard said that Pam is doing a book signing today. Howard said she'll be at Barnes and Noble on 82nd and Broadway at 4pm.
Howard asked Pam about being on Dancing with the Stars and if she thinks that women didn't vote for her because they were jealous. Pam said she doesn't know about that. Howard said he doesn't think that it's a coincidence that the Pope is going to be in the city on the same day as Pam. Pam said maybe she can write him a letter and get in with him too. She said she likes this pope.
Howard asked Pam if she liked being on Dancing with the Stars. Pam said she did. She said she had to pay some bills so she did the show. She said David Lachapelle told her to just say yes to everything that year. Howard said he read she had a lot of financial problems. Pam said she did. She said that she's completely clear now. She said she had to work her ass off but she's clear now.
Pam said that she loves that Howard's wife does the kitty thing. She said she follows her on Instagram. She said she loves the kitty pictures. Pam said she has boots she wants to give to Beth. She said they're made of recycled TV screens. She said they'll be in stores in November.
Howard gave Pam another plug for her book and said that they're almost like behind the scenes kind of photos. He said they're almost like Polaroids. Howard plugged her book signing too. Howard asked if people can touch her. Pam said she hugs people and takes pictures. Howard said he can press into her chest then. Pam said that's okay. She said they can't touch her legs or anything but she will hug. Howard said he has missed her. Pam said she's so glad to be back. Robin said she thought she had abandoned them. Pam said no way.
Howard said their friend Sam Simon died. Pam said that Sam loved Howard so much. She said that he did get Howard's last message. She said that she and Sam had so much fun in the last 6 months. Howard said Pam was there with him with the animal activism. Howard said he heard about the ring Sam gave her. Pam said that she is not going to sell the ring. She said it's not something she would sell. She said that Sam taught her what love is. She said that he was such a gentleman and they would laugh all the time. Howard said Sam was tickled that he was friends with her. Pam said that Sam would be throwing up and crying and he'd look at her and ask why she wasn't crying. Pam said she was just scared and didn't know what to do. Pam said the medical marijuana was really strong too. Howard said he can't smoke pot. Pam said she doesn't usually either. She said that she just did whatever Sam wanted to do. Howard said there is pot that won't get you high but it helps with the medical side of things.
Pam said she's going to London today to meet with Vivian Westwood. Howard said he's not sure who that is. Pam said she's a designer. She said she's going to be doing book promotion over there. She said she'll be back soon and doing a PETA event. She said she thinks Beth is going to be there.
Howard said he thinks that they need Pam to go into politics. Pam said she's just trying to get the horse drawn carriages out of New York. She said it's so sad.
Howard said if he were Putin he'd give her a country to go invade. Howard wrapped up and gave Pam more plugs for her book and book signing. Howard said he thought she was dying from the Hep C. Pam said she thought she was too. She said Sam taught her to enjoy life while you can. She said Sam really enjoyed the last two years of his life. Pam said Sam enjoyed her company and there was nothing sexual there at all. She said it was no strings attached love.
Howard reviewed what they learned today during this interview. Howard said she's still in love with Tommy and Brandon has to get a job. Howard said they've exhausted her. Pam said not at all. She said it was good to see him. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard asked Hillary about her deleted emails and Hillary said she did a full investigation on herself and has cleared herself of all wrongdoing. Howard said Hillary is still in the lead in most polls. Hillary said that she has no desire to go through another debate with the same outcome. Hillary said she thinks that they should just all agree that she is the nominee. Howard let fake Hillary go a short time later.
Howard said imagine if Eric could hear that. Howard said he loves the Wack Pack. He said they asked the Wack Pack if they were running for office what their campaign slogan would be. Howard said they went to Crazy Alice first. Howard played a clip of Alice talking about the people she'd get rid of. She used all kinds of racial slurs in that.
Howard said they got Big Foot next. Big Foot said he wants to legalize marijuana. High Pitch Eric said ''No more freeloaders free loading on America.'' Robin said he's the biggest freeloader of them all. Tan Mom said ''Lets stop the bullshit.''
Howard said Tan Mom got hired to do a photo shoot. Howard said this was a legit job too. Howard said Shuli went with her and she got more and more cranky as the day went on. Howard said she got totally annoyed by it.
Shuli came in and said that Tan Mom told her about this fashion show she was supposed to be in. He said she was late by an hour and a half. He said it turns out it was a photo shoot and not a fashion show. Shuli said the guy thought it would be fun. He said it was fun for about 15 minutes. Shuli said that Tan Mom was happy for about a half hour. Then she was telling people not to tell her what to do.
Howard played some audio of Shuli talking to Tan Mom at the shoot and she was slurring her words when she responded to him. Shuli said she got naked right in front of him when she was changing clothes. Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to Tan Mom about what kind of music says sex to her. She said ''Third Eye Blind.''
Howard played a clip of Tan Mom talking about how she misses Sal so much. She said that she knows Sal is into her. She said he's her friend. He said it's not about sex. Shuli asked her if she has ever banged a friend. Tan Mom said no comment. Howard said Sal is really into her. Shuli said he's into her because it's a slam dunk. Howard said Sal is a freak's freak.
Howard said Shuli goes outside to have a cigarette and she gets cranky. Howard said some guy is across the street and whistles to get the attention of a friend and Tan Mom thinks that it's for her. Howard played that clip and Tan Mom hears the whistling and calls the guy over. Shuli said they weren't in a great neighborhood. The guy says he was whistling to a friend on a motorcycle. Tan Mom asked if he had an attitude problem. The guy ended up walking away after having some words with her.
Howard said there hasn't been a sexy voice like that since Mariann from Brooklyn. Howard played a song parody for Mariann after bringing her up. Howard said he has to thank Daniel Mendelson for that.
Howard said now Tan Mom's husband says they have to go pick up the kids from school. Shuli said she got upset about that because she was working. He said you don't interrupt her work. In the clip Tan Mom yells at her husband to shut up. Shuli said she looked annoyed by him. Tan Mom said that no one comes into her square. She said everyone is laughing and having a good time but everyone has a problem. Shuli said that she was pissed at him but she got upset with him when he called the guy an asshole.
Howard played another clip of Tan Mom getting upset on the set of the photo shoot. Tan Mom was saying she worked her whole life and she likes to have fun. She was asking what something was and they said it wasn't even theirs. Shuli said everyone has to talk to her like she's a kid.
Howard said Tan Mom gets upset with her husband again and says she's going to shoot him. Howard played that clip too. Tan Mom told her husband that if he bothered her again she'd shoot him ''between the head.'' Howard asked how long this shoot was. Shuli said maybe an hour and a half or two hours. Howard asked if she really got to choose what she wore. Shuli said she did. He said everyone was jumping to and listening to her.
Howard said he should get Sal in there. Shuli said she kept bringing him up at the shoot. Howard asked Sal about seeing Tan Mom's vagina at the Birthday Bash. Howard asked if he would fuck her if he was single. Sal said he isn't single so he can't say. Sal said he is attracted to her. He said he saw her fall down and saw her side meat and it was hot. He said he can't lie. Sal said she has nice, long, sleek legs. Shuli said she has a bunion on her foot that looks like a sixth toe. Howard said that husband has been through the mill with her. Howard said Shuli was talking to him and he sounds very rational. Sal said he's very polite.
Shuli said the husband says the home is nothing like this. Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to the husband and asking what it's like with her. The husband was saying that she likes to go out and have a good time. He said someone has to get the kids though. Shuli said some guys would like to know why he puts himself through this. The husband said that they have kids together and he has to stick with it. Howard said they should have a reality show. Sal said that he sounds like a hostage in Syria or something.
Shuli said the shoot ended with Tan Mom sprawled out on the floor. Shuli said that she was slowly sliding down the seat too. He said the husband tells her that they have to go and she refuses to get up until he gets on the floor with her.
Sal said Tan Mom did a nude photo shoot and he felt bad about it. He said it's like taking Elephant Man to the circus. Howard asked Sal to name some of the web sites he beats off to. Sal said TubeGalore is the one he likes. He said they have everything there.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he had to beat off to one voice would it be Caitlyn Jenner, Tan Mom or Mariann from Brooklyn. Howard said Mariann is very good looking so that would be his choice.
Gary came in and said that the guys gave him some notes about Sal. He said Sal has an idea for an E-cigarette and a dildo that would be called the poke and smoke. Howard told him to forget about that. Howard said that's just dumb. Howard told Sal to shove it up his ass.
Gary said Sal loves the psychic and he's Christian too. Sal said that Sal went to the psychic and asked her to contact Eric the Actor but she said no. Gary said that Sal holds Teresa Caputo and Jesus in the same regard. Howard said he's sure Teresa is nice but she's not real. He said she can't contact dead people. Sal said he disagrees with him. Howard said that he's telling him that she can not speak to the dead. Howard asked if he thinks he's the smartest guy. Sal said yes. Howard said she can't speak to the dead. Sal still believes she can. Howard said this is how televangelist make money. Howard asked if Sal believes that Pat Robertson speaks to Jesus. Sal said no. Howard said that Pat is a phony and he's bordering on a criminal. Sal said Teresa provides a service. Howard asked if Sal thinks she can talk to dead animals. Sal said yes. He said we all change to energy and animals do too. He said that they can connect. Howard asked if she can speak to dead insects. Sal said he's not sure.
Howard asked if Teresa can contact a fly that he just killed. Sal said he doesn't know. Sal said that Teresa can contact those vibrations we connect to. Robin asked why she didn't contact Eric. Sal said he doesn't know. Howard said she was afraid that they'd make fun of her.
Gary said he heard that Sal and Teresa's husband got the same tattoos. Sal said Larry got a tattoo and it's a 143 tattoo. Gary asked why people who get killed don't go to Teresa and tell her how they were killed and tell where the weapon is. Sal said he doesn't know. He said he has to have her on the show and talk to her himself. Howard said it's all the same. It's all bullshit. Sal said that she's the one exception. He said she's real. Howard said Sal is a fucking piece of work. Howard told Sal to get out of there before he embarrasses himself more.
Shuli told Howard that Tan Mom has a tanning gun that she brings with her. He said that this stuff comes out like a car wash. He said the photographers were yelling at her asking what she was doing and she says she knows what she's doing. Howard thanked Shuli for the report. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along with the Nine Inch Nails song. Howard said he loved that whole Nine Inch Nails thing. Howard said that he remembers going to a strip club when they were at their height and every stripper was in love with Trent Reznor. Howard said he never understood what he was singing about but he loved the songs. Howard said that's a good song. He said he was going to put it on his play list at home but it's almost too intense. He said he's seen people dance to that song. He said you should see him dance to it. Howard said he can't figure out how to dance to dance music. He said he's really not sure what to do to this one.
Howard said he was trying to dance to this and Benjy was watching. Benjy said he's trying to think of how to dance to it too. Howard said he doesn't like strip club dancers. He said the last thing you should do naked is dance. Howard said he sees a woman dancing naked and it's depressing. Howard said it would be cool if they were naked and typing. Howard said this song is about a psychic who contacts dead flys.
Howard said there's a porno that exists where this girl gives a guy a rusty trombone. Howard said that's where a girl is eating a guy's asshole and jerking him off with her hand so it's like a trombone. Howard said he'd feel so bad for a woman with her face in his ass. Howard said he doesn't want a rusty trombone. Howard said he'd think the woman really loves him if she did it though.
Howard said he played the clip of that the other day and they took that and made a phony phone call with it. Howard played the audio of the woman giving the guy the rusty trombone. Howard said they called a music store and said they were trying to learn to play. Howard played the clip of Sal and Richard calling the music store asking for help with their trombone. The guy at the store said they were blowing way too hard. He gave some advice for how to blow into the trombone. The guy was demonstrating how to do it. They kept playing audio of the woman giving the rusty trombone. The guy eventually said he sounds better.
Howard said that guy never hung up. He said he was such a nice man you almost feel bad. Howard said he thought he sounded better. Howard said you have no idea how much it tickles them to do that. Howard asked who gets that in real life. Howard asked Robin if she has ever stuck her tongue up a guy's ass. Robin said no. Howard said he can't imagine ever wanting to do that. Howard asked Robin if she can envision doing that to the guy who won America's Got Talent. Robin said she cant. She said she can imagine him doing stuff to her though.
Howard said Sal dreams of having a woman eat his ass. Howard said Gary did that once. Gary said he did it once. He said Ronnie is the guy who does it regularly. Howard said Gary had his ass eaten. Gary said that was once. He said it was okay. Howard asked Gary if he was on his back. Gary said he was on all fours. He said the woman told him to get into that position. Gary said it started with a bath. He said he knew something was up when she used soap to clean his ass. Howard said you can't get rid of that stink.
Howard asked what ass tastes like. Gary said that he has zero recollection. Howard asked Ronnie what he thinks it tastes like. Ronnie came in and said that it doesn't really have a taste. He said you make sure it's clean. Howard heard in his voice that he had a cold. Ronnie said he hasn't had one in a year. Howard told him to stay away from him. He said he's going to put the divider up.
Howard said he hugged Jewel yesterday and she asked if he was sick. Howard said he wasn't sick but he didn't want to risk getting her sick before her tour.
Howard asked Ronnie about the ass eating and if some girls don't bathe before. Ronnie said you make sure they do. Howard asked if he inspects. Ronnie said if you're smart you clean it yourself. He said you soap them up and get them turned on. Howard asked if you go in on all fours. Ronnie said you go in with them on their stomach. Howard asked where his love life is. Howard asked if he's ever had someone say that's inappropriate. Ronnie said not really. He said he was probably 17 when he first did it. Ronnie said they do it to him too. He said he soaps up before that too.
Howard asked Ronnie how deep you go in. Ronnie said you just go in a little bit. He said it's just enough to turn them on. Howard asked if he's ever had that done after taking a shit. Ronnie said no way. He said you have to shower first. He said he'd never let anyone in there before a shower. He said he hates baths too. He said you sit in your own dirt. He said you clean it up real good. He said you have to work into it too. He said you can't just jump into it. Ronnie said you work your way down their back. He said girls have a spot at their waist... He was interrupted when Richard came in and sniffed Ronnie's ass. Ronnie told him to get the fuck outta there.
Howard asked what Ronnie was saying. Ronnie said you give a massage and massage their ass and everything. Howard said the girl is moaning and then what. Ronnie said that there's a certain point on the girl's back right above the crack of the ass. Fred said ''Right where the tail would be...'' in his Ronnie voice. Ronnie said that's right. He said you just do the deal and spread the ass open.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Howard is right and it's disgusting. He said there is a huge number of parasites that you can get from eating ass. Ronnie said he doesn't worry when he's with a chick. Howard asked what he thinks about the throat cancer thing. Ronnie said he's never had a problem.
Howard asked if Ronnie has ever given an assgasm. Ronnie said he's had it twice. He said the girl starts moaning and carrying on. Howard asked if asses get juicy. Ronnie said some girls claim they can cum out of their ass. Howard told him not to believe that. Howard asked if a girl has ever farted in his face. Ronnie said he has. He said it was kind of funny. It didn't smell. He said he started laughing though.
Howard said he thinks he's covered the whole ass eating thing. Ronnie said he thinks Robin has done it. Robin said she has not. Ronnie said he's sure she has. Robin kept denying it and said she has no recollection. Howard played a song parody about Robin. Howard said the guys went to a midget wrestling event and one of the guys was saying that he wants to fuck Robin. Howard played that clip and the guy said he'd be nose to toes and his nose would be right in it if they did that.
Howard had a clip of Robin having sex with Jeff Goldblum. Howard took a call from a guy who said his old lady goes down on him all the time. Howard said he's in Ohio so that's why. He said there's nothing to do there. The guy said his wife is a nurse and he's a truck driver. Howard said he'd like to talk to her about that. Howard lost the guy but he wondered if she cries every time.
Howard said he doesn't think he'd care about that so much. Howard said he likes fucking the most. He said he just likes sticking it in. Howard said he has spoken to women and they don't care about the other stuff. Robin said once in a while that stuff is okay but you just want to get it done usually. Ronnie said he was with a couple of black chicks when he was younger and they told him that they don't like having sex with black guys because they just like sticking it in. Ronnie said they're into begin eaten out.
Howard asked what Asians like. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said he's never been with one. He said he got a happy ending once but that was it. Howard asked if she was hot. Ronnie said he was in an all tile room and they throw buckets of water on you to clean you. He said then you go in and get a happy ending. Howard said he's never had that. He said he's never been offered. Howard asked when they jerk you off. Ronnie said they massage you first and then jerk you off. Howard asked where you cum. Ronnie said they do it in their hand or hold a towel there. Ronnie said he just thanks them after it's done. Howard asked why they don't jerk you off first so you can go to sleep. Ronnie said they just do it the way they do it. Ronnie said they get close to your asshole when you are getting a massage. He said they'll rub between your legs and stuff. Howard asked if they rub under the towel. Ronnie said usually the towel is standing up. Howard asked if he gets nervous that the woman will break his cock. Ronnie said he doesn't think about that shit.
Howard asked what he does if the woman is unattractive. Ronnie said at that point you just don't care. He said you're so relaxed you don't care. Robin said he's amazing.
Howard took a call from a guy who told Howard not to be paranoid about getting cancer from eating pussy. Howard said maybe out in Missouri they're free of that HPV. Howard said that ain't city pussy. Howard said that is free range pussy out there. Howard said Michael Douglas said he got it from eating pussy. The caller said that's just BS. He said that when you're down there you keep going right to the asshole. He said you can't let that go to waste.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Ronnie has it all wrong. He said that it's a very sensual thing to go down on a woman. He said when a woman cums in your mouth you want to eat it all. He said then it goes in their asshole and you keep going. He said the way Ronnie is describing it makes it sound harsh. Ronnie said you don't start at the asshole. Howard said the point is that Ronnie makes stuff sound disgusting.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he agrees with Ronnie about the black girl thing. He said they like to be eaten out and have their ass licked. Howard let that caller go after getting his feedback.
Howard asked Ronnie if he said hi to Pam Anderson. Ronnie said of course he did. Howard asked if she remembered him. Ronnie said she did. He said they used to hang out a lot.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said Ronnie is all wrong. He said you can't let them smell like soap. He said you need a little funk down there. Howard said that's great. He said it's good to hear from him. Howard said he doesn't do that kind of stuff. King asked if he eats pussy. Howard said he's in a marriage so he can do that. Howard said he has to go. King asked if he watches YouPorn and watches Babysitter porn that means he wants a young girl. Howard said he has to go. He let him go after that.
Howard said that was interesting. Robin said Ronnie is always interesting. Howard said Gary doesn't tell him anything. He said Ronnie tells the truth. Howard said Gary has said he does it to Mary. Gary said he never said that. Howard said he knows Mary isn't doing that to him. He said she's way too proper. Gary said that is true.
Howard said that Gary will talk about Sonos but forget about talking about ass eating. Howard and Robin did their impressions of Gary talking about Sonos. Howard said he had to take a break. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard asked Robin if she noticed that Pam Anderson wasn't able to look at him when he was interviewing her. Robin said she's always done that. Robin said Pam would look at her when she was answering. Howard said he has a theory about that. Howard said he thinks it's what men have done to her in her life. Howard said it was good to see her there after all these years.
Robin started her news with Donald Trump news. Robin said that he's talking about trying to make this country great again. Robin said we grew up thinking we were great. Robin said that the military has been told not to intervene in Afghanistan when there is sexual molestation going on. Robin said that the soldiers have been told to look the other way. Robin said this is not the mark of a great country. Robin said we've got a problem if that's what's going on. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on that. Robin said they say that this is part of their culture but it's really just criminal activity.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he doesn't usually watch America's Got Talent but he saw the magician on the show with the chairs lined up and Howard looked like he had a hard time walking up there. Howard said he just looks weird walking on TV. Robin said he has a hard time seeing in that light. Howard said he's so afraid of falling. He said that stage is so slippery and he doesn't want to fall. He said on top of that it's lit so dark. He said the judges have a hard time seeing. Howard said he'd rather walk real slow and cautiously. Howard said he finds that stage being like a sheet of ice. Howard said Mel B wasn't happy about having to go up there either. Howard said they have a stair that you can fall off of easily too. Howard said they take away one piece of the stage when they have some acts perform and you can fall right through it. Howard said he went for looking cautious instead of falling on his head.
Howard said he has always looked funny on TV. He said he looks okay sitting down but when he stands up he looks odd. Robin said she sees beautiful pictures of Howard when she comes in and that's the Howard she sees. Robin said that's what he looks like. Howard said sometimes he looks good but you have to get a good angle. Howard said he had to have them shoot him from one angle there at America's Got Talent. He said he can look good at times. Howard said Heidi looks perfect. He said she made a living off of her face. Howard said he has to look somewhat good. Howard said women would write on Twitter how disgusting he looks. Howard said you get woozy from the comments. Howard said he knows they're right too. Howard said some dudes did it too so he wonders why they're doing that. Howard said we all do it. He said meanwhile the people at home are train wrecks.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about Madonna making a dancer who showed up late kiss her feet. Robin said she can't believe that story. Howard said he thinks it's real because it read it somewhere else. He said they press released it. Robin said maybe he's right about that.
Robin read about this Kim Davis woman and how she's still not giving out licenses. Robin said they say that she has been accused of changing documents. Robin said Kim Davis was on Good Morning America today so she has some audio of that. Robin said she struggles with one thing. Howard said it must be her looks. Howard played the audio of Davis crying and saying that she's upset when people tell her that god doesn't like her and she's a hypocrite. Howard said she looks like a dude. Howard said she's been married 4 times and she must be miserable. Howard said he has the whole thing pegged. He said she wants other people to be miserable too. Howard lost the clip of her so he asked the guys to get it back for him. Howard said this woman's whole goal is to make other people miserable. Howard asked why anyone cares if one gay person wants to marry another gay person. Howard replayed the clip of Davis crying about what people say to her about her imaginary friend. Howard asked why she would care about what anyone says to her about that imaginary friend. Robin said she should step down and leave everyone alone. Howard said she's getting attention and religion accepts anyone. He said they get these fucking fanatics in there and it's a party for them. Howard said High Pitch Eric has a better ass than that woman. He said she's so miserable. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Ryan Adams covering a bunch of Taylor Swift songs. Howard said he likes Ryan's cover of ''Wonderwall.'' He played some of that. Howard said Chris Cornell has been doing cover songs lately. He said he's done some good stuff. Howard said there's one he really likes but he forgets what it was. Gary said it might be ''Thank You'' by Zeppelin. Howard said he's right. Gary said he did it on their show so they have it. They had it up for Howard to play. Howard said Gary hit it out of the park with that. Howard played the version he did in their studio. Howard said he likes this as much as the original. Howard sang along with it a little bit. Howard said Gary and Jon Hein are making out right now. He said it's such a romantic song. He said he's eating Fred's ass and getting carried away a little bit.
Robin read a story about how Snoop Dogg is launching a new online business with a marijuana focus. Robin had some audio of Snoop talking about the new business.
Robin read a story about tennis star James Blake who was mistaken for a criminal and thrown to the ground while the U.S. Open was going on. Robin said that the mayor has told him that incident is spurring change in the police force. Robin had some audio of Mayor DeBlasio talking about that. She also had some audio of Blake talking about what he's heard will be happening.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's glad Howard is done with America's Got Talent because now he can focus on the show. Howard said people have been saying that a lot. He said it's like he can't focus on two things at once. Howard thanked the guy for the call. He didn't want to hear what he thinks about the show.
Robin said Howard has daughters and she wondered if he thinks if he shared information with him if they'd tape him and turn it over to the police. Howard asked what information that would be. Robin said it was information about killing your boss. Howard said he'd be proud of they did that. Robin said a Brooklyn man admitted to killing his boss by breaking his neck. Robin told Howard more about the story.
Robin read a story about how more black women are diagnosed with prostate cancer than white men. Robin said that they say it also kills black men at twice the rate as white men. Howard said if they could figure that out they could come up with a cure for cancer. Robin said it might be environmental things.
Robin read about how the drug used by AIDS, Cancer and other auto immune diseases has been sky rocketing in price. Robin said the man behind the 5,000 percent increase is defending the increase. Robin said the man told CNBC it's all about the money. Robin had a clip of the guy talking about it. The guy said that they have to make a profit on it so they had to raise the prices. Robin said the pill is now $1,300 per tablet. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked when they will know if he's going to re-sign with Sirius. Howard said he's thinking about the future and they'll see what happens. The caller asked if they will know by the end of the year. Howard said they will know something by Mid-December. Howard thanked the guy for calling him a class act.
Robin read a story about the women on The View making fun of a nurse and they lost some sponsors over that. Howard said that Joy Behar came back on and pissed off some sponsors. Howard said that people get offended by everything and Joy probably forgot about that. Howard said on one hand you want to be spontaneous but they have sponsors so it's a nightmare. Robin said that some of the sponsors eventually come back.
Robin said that Scott Walker has dropped out of the race for President. Robin had some audio of him announcing he was dropping out. Robin had some audio of Trump commenting on his dropping out.
Robin read a story about how Carly Fiorina is number one in the polls. Robin said that Trump was at number 2. Howard said she's on top of Trump then. Robin said that's right. Robin had some audio of Fiorina singing on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Howard said he doesn't get why they do that kind of shit. He said people seem to like it though. He said they go up in the polls when they do it. Howard said he liked the old days when they were more serious.
Robin read a story about Ted Cruz being on Stephen Colbert last night. Robin said he was booed when he was talking about something. Robin said if you have a live audience you're going to get a reaction. Howard said that's why he doesn't have a live audience. He said you can boo in your car if you want to. Howard said if he had a late night show he'd have no audience. Robin said that Jimmy Kimmel had Miss Piggy and Kermit on his show. Howard said that was a smart move. Howard said he hates the Muppets. Howard played some audio of Jimmy talking to the Muppets. Howard said he'd pull that puppet right off the guy's hand and talk to him instead. Howard said he doesn't like the Muppets but he does like some puppets. He said he liked Paul Winchell and even Lamb Chop a little bit. Robin said she doesn't like seeing actors standing there next to the puppets and talking to them. Howard said he had to do that on America's Got Talent. Howard said he didn't want to do it but the producers asked him to do a little something.
Robin had more audio of the Muppets for Howard to play. Howard said he bets Jimmy went and hit his head against the wall for an hour. Howard said he's doing Jimmy's show when he's in New York and he's going to make him talk to a puppet. Howard said Miss Piggy doesn't sound the same anymore. Howard said Kermit isn't even close.
Robin said that Brian Williams is returning to MSNBC tonight. Howard said that guy fucked that job up. Howard said it shows what they think about cable news.
Robin said that Apple is still thinking about what kind of car they want to create. Howard asked Gary if that's a bit of a misstep for them. Gary said he thinks it is. He was doing an impression of himself. Howard said he loves when he does that.
Robin read about Coke owing $3.3 billion in taxes to the country. Robin said the company is saying they don't believe that. Howard said imagine the money they make if that's what they owe in taxes. Howard said it's for that water filled with sugar.
Robin said that Volkswagen was lying about their diesel engines. Robin said they had to admit they were wrong and now their stock has dropped and they are apologizing all over the place.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he might be the only person who can make Pam Anderson interesting on the radio. He asked if Howard ever banged her. Howard said no. He said she has no interest in him at all. Howard said she didn't even look at him when he talked to her. Howard said he thinks she finds him repulsive. Howard said he gets no vibe at all. Robin said he has to be persistent. Howard said he's never been that way with any woman. He said it's too much of a hurdle. Howard said she is a beautiful woman but no sexual stuff there. The caller asked if he should sign up for another two years there at Sirius. Howard said that is yet to be determined. Howard said he doesn't know himself.
Robin said she has to read a book for a course she's taking. Howard asked why she would do that. Howard said she should read the Pam Anderson book because there's no text. Howard said he read it 3 times. Robin said she has to read a book for this course. Robin said she has a book in mind and it's about Sherlock Holmes' brother and it was written by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Howard said he hates reading. He asked if she has to do a book report. Robin said she doesn't know. Howard said he prefers mysteries by Lebron James. They wrapped up the show and ended it around 11:25am.
Jon said that Dan is a fan of Jillian Barberie and what she does. Dan said he did a fashion show once and it was in a Bloomingdales in the afternoon. He said that Jillian came through and heard him singing. He said she interviewed him on Good Day L.A. and she talked about him on the air a lot like she does with Howard.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. After that Jon said that he asked Rahsaan what he has for a poll today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''What Was the Weirdest Part of Sal's On Air Revelations Today?'' and the choices were:
Jon said they have a limited list of Sal's stuff. Jon said that Howard wanted nothing to do with the Poke and Smoke. He said he was all ears over the Tan Mom love. Jon said that love is real too. He said that he thinks Sal believes that she's gettable and he's into women like that. Jon said that is a unique choice. Dan said the husband sounds really normal. Jon said he is. He said what he has pictured in his mind is probably right. Jon said he has to be one of the most patient men in the world. Jon said that it was sort of interesting that Sal doesn't deny his love for Tan Mom. He said the other interesting thing was his love for one particular Medium. Dan said he found it interesting that Sal said that she had to speak to the family before she'd do the Eric the Actor thing. Jon said they all have their processes.
Jon said that Sal has gotten close to Teresa and her husband. Jon said he may be too close to it be objective. He said that it's part of the friendship they have. Jon said you can't say you don't believe it. Dan asked if she reads Sal. Jon said he's not sure Sal would talk about that if he has had that done.
Jon said Shuli did a good job with Tan Mom. He said that she's one of a kind. He said they're going to talk about Pamela Anderson dropping by today. He said they were going to take a break first. They went to break after that.
Gary said his kids are the same age as Pam's. He said he always thought she was much younger than him but she's not that much younger. Gary said you want to do better for your kids than your father did. He said if you give them too much then they turn into asshoels. He said you have to find the balance. Dan said he was thinking it has to be tough to be Pam and Tommy's because they have that sex video. He said that's out there. Gary said that it's both of their parents that are big stars too. Gary said that they don't look anything like the people he sees at the PTA meetings.
Jon said Dan almost met Howard a couple of times. Dan said he sat behind him once and stared at his hair the whole time. He said he didn't go up to him though. Gary asked if he decided not to talk to him. Dan said he knows that he wouldn't want him to do that. He said he just walked away. He said Howard was at a party in the Hamptons too. He said that he was in all black and other people were in bathing suits. He said he didn't say hi to him there either. Dan said he was at the wedding a month ago and he stood next to Howard at the wedding. He said the whole time his wife was laughing because he was next to him. Dan said he didn't bother Howard at all. He said he didn't make him talk to him at all.
Jon said Dan is a big fan and there is a right way of doing it. He said it's difficult to describe. Jon said that he could have done it at the wedding. Gary said that the plane was good. He said at a party it's okay to talk to someone. Dan said he talked to tons of people and he did meet Howard at the end of the night. He said he was talking to Whitney Cummings and she introduced him to Beth. He said Howard was telling her it was time to go. Dan said all he said was ''You did great man'' about staying late but Howard thought he was talking about the speech.
Gary said he thinks about meeting people like Springsteen. He said that he isn't sure why he'd want to know he is a fan of his. Dan said that the best part was that Howard didn't know who Orlando Jones was. He said that he sat next to him and didn't know who he was. He said they hit it off there though. Jon said that when you bump into someone like Howard you have to have your pitch ready. He said you don't want to bother them but maybe just have a regular conversation with the person. Gary said he met Carol Burnett and told her that he's a big fan and he hopes that she never gets sick of hearing that.
Jon took a call from a guy who was in the middle of a conversation. He let that guy go and took another call. The caller asked if everyone freaked out that Pam was there. He asked if anyone got selfies taken. Gary said no one is allowed to do that there. Gary said the only people who have interactions are the people who need to. Gary said sometimes the guests will summon someone over but they normally don't bother the guests. Gary said he goes in and tells the guest what's going to happen but there are no unnecessary interactions with the guests. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon said that Sal was talking about a lot today and that led to Gary talking about getting his ass eaten on all fours. Gary said he has one story but Ronnie has 15 stories. Jon said Ronnie has a whole repertoire for that. Gary said if Howard doesn't do it then he thinks that no one should. Gary said Ronnie is the guy for that.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary about getting his salad tossed and how he wasn't mad at her after that. Gary said not at all. The caller said if Beth went that way with Howard he's sure he wouldn't be grossed out by it. He said that he'd understand.
The caller asked Jon what his take on it is. He asked if he's ever had it like that. Jon said he has never done it. He said he doesn't look down on anyone who did. The caller said he had it just two weeks ago. He said it was in the shower and he did what he had to do in there. He said as long as you know it's clean it's good and you know they love it. He said Ronnie is on point. He said he's saying that it's not that uncommon. Gary said he's pretty sure there are guys on the staff who have done it and aren't admitting to it. Gary said someone has to be keeping quiet.
Jon took a call from a woman who had a quote from the Pam Anderson interview. She said it's about when you start cutting them off and make them pay for their own things. She said that you give your kids enough to do something but not enough to do nothing. Jon said he gets that. Gary said after your kid gets out of college there is a certain amount of time they can live at home. Gary said he graduated college and he had a part time job at NBC. He said they were cool with him taking a little more money. The caller asked when you say ''enough already, you're on your own.'' Gary said you know it when it's time. They spent a little more time going over that.
Jon said they have to go to Rahsaan for the results. Rahsaan said the poll was really close. First place was the Psychic with 36 percent. Second was Tan Mom with 33 percent and the last place was Poke and Smoke with 32.
Jon got in some plugs for Sternthology and for Dan before he ended the show. They were done around 12:05pm.
Howard started the show talking about how it's his first post America's Got Talent Wednesday show. Howard said he has to finish his coffee. He said he loves this Starbucks. He said he never leaves his apartment. He said he went out twice to get Starbucks. He said he has one cup a day. Howard said the Barista at the Starbucks asked him what size he wanted. He said he wanted a regular. Howard said he told him large. He said that there has to be something smaller than a large. Robin gave him a rundown of what they call them. Howard said the guy looked at him like he was mental. He said he doesn't get out much. He said every time he goes out it's a diaster. Howard said he has like two more sips left.
Robin told Howard the sizes they have. Howard said he should have gotten a short. Robin went through them all and they had up to 30 ounce sizes. Howard said they fill the cups right up to the top. He said it's like $2.76 for a coffee. He said they should convert bra sizes to those Starbucks names. Howard said Pam Anderson would be a Grande and Robin would be a Vente Cold. Howard said guys who sell bras would be Braristas.
Robin said the sky looked odd yesterday and she thought it was going to rain. She said it turns out it was just the sun going down. She said she wasn't used to the sun going down so early. Howard said he hates it. Howard said he'd change the seasons for her if he could. Howard sang to her about changing the seasons and the tilt of the earth. Howard said he knows it's getting cold but his heart is warm.
Howard said what he did yesterday was go to the shrink. He said he's been having panic attacks. He said his shrink is helping a lot with that. Howard said it's good he talked to the guy. Robin asked if it was America's Got Talent that did it to him. Howard said it's not America's Got Talent that sent him into a panic. He said it's deeper than that.
Howard said he had a bunch of meetings there. He said he went home and sketched a picture of a kitten. Robin said she saw that on Facebook. Howard said he feels better when he draws sometimes. Howard said it was a drawing, not a sketch. Robin asked what the difference is. Howard said it's like finished drawing. Howard said a sketch is a work in progress. Howard said that's how ''we artists'' work.
Howard said he got in bed and watched Gotham. He said that show is so well done. Howard said bravo to the people who make that show. Robin said that someone was saying that the show shouldn't return. Howard said it's so good though. Robin said she loved the show. Howard said he did too. He said the show was so good. Howard said this whole super hero genre is so good. He said the girl who plays Commissioner Gordon's girlfriend is so hot too. Howard said she's ridiculously hot. Howard said he really likes her. Robin said she was in Homeland for a while.
Howard said the pope does things to make you think that the church doesn't have much money. Howard said he carries his own suitcase to show how humble he is. Robin said they have a guy there to carry it for him. Howard said he would do something like that himself. He said he came from humble beginnings so he might do something like that. He said he wants to relate to people. Howard said they were at America's Got Talent shooting outside and Ronnie and Joe were there and they were holding umbrellas over him. He said he told them that people were watching so he held his own umbrella. Howard said there are celebrities who don't give a shit and they'll have 50 guys hold an umbrella over them. He said Trump is like that.
Howard said the Pope put on a show yesterday and he watched some of it. He said it was like a half hour show. Howard said the plane door is shut and you wait for the Pope to come out. Howard said 5 minutes goes by then 10 minutes goes by. Howard said about 15 minutes in he wondered what's wrong with him. He said this is just a dude wearing a dress and a cape with a yarmulke. Howard said a lot of people are really fed up with the pomp and circumstance of the church. Howard said that there are cardinals and stuff there. Howard said one guy got so decked out for the pope. He said he had a giant cross made out of wood on. He said he had medals on and he looked part military.
Howard said he read in the Post about how they're hiding the homeless in Harlem for the pope's visit. Howard said they should do that every day. Howard said his parents did that when they had company. He said it's going to be a traffic nightmare tomorrow when the pope visits. Howard said New Yorkers need to use the city and they won't be able to move. Howard said he's sitting there watching the news and waiting and waiting. He said he has his dinner in a tin and he's watching TV. Howard said he's been eating the same dinner every night for a month. He said he has eggplant Parmesan and broccoli on the side. Howard said it comes with spaghetti but he throws most of it out. He said he saves about 10 strands of spaghetti. Howard said he eats the same thing for lunch, breakfast and dinner. Robin said he gets into these jags. Howard said he does.
Howard said he was watching the pope and he wondered why he wanted to see him so badly. Howard said he wanted to see what was going on. Robin said unlike the other pope this one doesn't wear any jewelry. Howard said he noticed he wears a white capelet over his shoulder. Howard said there's a guy who follows him around to keep it from blowing around when it's windy. Howard said there's another guy who keeps his cap from blowing off. Howard said you can imagine the discussion that goes on about that. Howard said he should have Fred do that for him. Robin said he should have come in dressed like the pope.
Howard said Ralph kind of does that stuff for him. He said they have all kinds of wires there on America's Got Talent and Ralph would walk around grooming him.
Gary came in and said that the pope got off the plane yesterday and then he was in a room with Obama for like 10 minutes. Howard said he wasn't even up to that part yet. Howard said it looked like Obama's mother in law was there and the kids were too. Gary said even the girls were shaking his hand. Howard said there is no hugging going on. Howard said Biden was there with his wife and there were Army General dudes too. Howard said the cardinals on the tarmac were all decked out. He said they had giant crosses and capes. Howard said then there's a bunch of FBI looking dudes. Robin said the Secret Service was on high alert. Robin wondered why they bring him here. Howard said he doesn't want any more violence in this country.
Robin said she wants to talk about the pope memorabilia. She said there's a toaster, cups, mugs and glasses. Robin wondered if he has official stuff. Gary said he thinks it's unofficial. Robin said that has to be a big business.
Howard asked JD about the coverage they have. He asked what channel it was from. JD said it's from the NY1 pope channel. Howard said there is a delay when you are on a remote and these two were so flumoxed that they were speaking over each other every 3 seconds. Howard played the clip and the reporter was talking about what was going on out there when the pope arrived.
Howard said that Neil Cavuto was all excited that the pope was driving around in the car he was in. Robin told Howard about some of the other pope merchandise that was out there. There was a pope bobble head. Howard said he's been working on throwing stuff out that he has. Howard said he had a box that a listener sent him. He said it's memorabilia but he didn't know why he had it. Howard said there are people who fill their house with shit. Howard said there's no reason for a bobble head of the pope. Gary said he's only coming to their town once in his lifetime. Howard said there's still no reason for a bobble head.
Gary said he's been watching the news for a month now where they show the guys making the pope's chair. He said they have it on every day. Howard said he was reading in the paper about Brian Williams returning to TV. Howard said someone was complaining that he didn't apologize. Howard said everyone knows what everyone should be doing. Howard said he's the one who knows what people should be doing. Howard said Brian Williams should just be reading the news. Howard said the guy who wrote the article for the Post is writing that article for almost no money. Howard said if that guy knew what to do then he wouldn't be doing that.
Howard said every TV channel has different pope music. Howard said everyone but them. Howard said they have to get some. Howard said he's thinking of Nirvana or something. Gary said it's usually orchestral or funeral like. It's nothing upbeat. Howard had Fred play some music for him. It was the usual church music that they play.
Howard said he spent a lot of time watching that. Howard said it was kind of cool watching the pope with Obama. Howard said there were a lot of dudes there. Robin asked if he can imagine a life with mostly dudes. Howard said yes he can. He said he imagines a planet full of men. He said he imagines one with just him and Fred.
Gary said they showed the pope getting off the plane about 10 times on CNN. Howard said he's not sure what you talk to the pope about. Gary said today is the formal meeting. Howard said the pope speaks some English but mostly Spanish. Gary said he's the first pope not born in Europe in over 1000 years. Howard said the pope was a nightclub bouncer when he was in college. Howard said that's a little known fact.
Howard said he has a bunch of Wolfie tape. Howard said he went to a fast food thing. Howard said that was back in the day. Wolfie said he's not sure what he's talking about. Howard said it's a fast food protest. Wolfie said that's when they were protesting to get minimum wage. Howard said he spoke to a really angry guy who was upset about minimum wage. Howard played a clip and Wolfie asked the guy about what he thinks about Chinese and Hispanics taking jobs from Americans. The guy went off on them cursing them out. Wolfie asked him about what the worst thing he ever saw in a McDonald's bathroom was. The guy said it was a soft shit in the ''pissy pot.''
Howard said people are disgusting. Howard said someone shit in the urinal. Howard said he doesn't buy into blaming McDonald's for people being fat. Howard said people have to take responsibility for themselves. He said you don't have to go there. Robin said people get addicted to that food.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to a guy about some pain he had in his stomach and he called it ''domino'' pain. Howard played another clip of a guy talking about how he'd like to keep money for himself and not give to the McDonald's kids. The guy also talked about seeing someone's wig fall into the fryer and the person kept making food after that. Howard said he'd eat that stuff fried. He said anything fried tastes good. Howard let Wolfie go after that.
The caller said he beat off so he wasn't able to do it with his wife so he had to go down on her. He said he had a sore throat after that. He asked Howard if he goes down on Beth. Howard said he's married so he can do that. Howard said you shouldn't go down on strangers.
Howard said Ronnie was in rare form talking about eating assholes. Howard said High Pitch Eric wants to do sex tips. Howard said he's so stupid he doesn't know what he's talking about. Howard said High Pitch Eric never has sexual contact with anyone. Howard said they let him do them and they have clips. Howard played a clip of Eric talking about how to do 69. Eric says that you put Vaseline on your dick and put your dick in a woman's ass. He said you push it real good and then your dick starts to swell up. He said then you cum in the woman's ass.
Howard said he loves this guy Matt Jacobs because he does an amazing impression of Joey Boots and High Pitch Eric talking to each other. Howard said he might have to write something for him to do. Howard played a clip of Matt doing his Joey and Eric voices talking about their tribute to Eric the Actor. Eric sits on a bench and the bench breaks.
Howard said that sex tip was pretty awesome. Howard said 69 is the weight of Eric's toe. Howard said that he has other sex tips too. He said they're equally as stupid. Howard said that he has a tip on how to hold your cum. Howard said he thinks he means hold back but it sounds ridiculous. Howard played that one and Eric talked about holding your cum in and how you have to be overweight. Eric said you jerk off very slow and pleasure yourself before you're with a woman. Howard said that's it. That's the tip.
Howard said they called one of these phone sex lines and said to Eric to call and they'll pay for it. Howard said it's ridiculous because all he wants to do is talk about food. Howard played the clip of Eric talking to this woman telling her that he's all sweaty. He said he'd like to put a can of Pepsi up her pussy too. Eric asked what kind of sandwiches she likes. She told him to play with his dick while he does that. She asked if he wanted Mayo rubbed on him. Eric said he did. He said he doesn't care if he stinks from that. Then he said he has to shit. Then he said he was pushing. The woman said that's so gross. She hung up. Howard said she was repulsed. He said that was 100 percent real.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they did a bit on Best Time Ever last night and they had Howard in it. Howard said they asked him to do that show. Howard said they wanted to tape something for Neil and he agreed to do it. Howard said next thing he knows this guy comes out and sings and he's bad but they have to pretend he's good. Howard said everyone else was reacting but he just sat there. Howard said he didn't want to be a part of the bits. Howard said he really doesn't care about the segment. He let the caller go when he started to explain what they were doing.
Howard said Howie loved doing that prank. He said that he loves being on camera. Howard said that Howie has told him that he is afraid to be alone in a hotel room. He said he panics if he's not connected to people. Howard said he understands that because he has to have that on the air. Howard said he told Howie that sometimes he's on TV and Periscoping at the same time. Howard said he's not his psychiatrist but Howie needs help.
Howard said he should take a break. He said if he could he would just talk for a straight 4 hours. Howard said he could do that. Robin said they could do a commercial free day. Howard said they have to make money so he doesn't think Sirius would do that. Howard said he doesn't want to take a break but he is going to.
Howard said he shouldn't have to break. He said that he hates anything that constrains him. He said that's why he hated America's Got Talent when they said he had 20 seconds to say something. Howard said why have him on to talk for 20 seconds. Howard said he's not sure why they had other judges. Howard had Fred take him off the air. He wasn't able to do it himself. They went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from a guy who was calling from Miami. Howard said it's so cold so fast there in New York. The caller said it's always hot down there. The caller said that the Eric the Actor stuff on Sternthology made him hate Bobo even more. He said Eric was the best caller ever. Howard said Bobo is taking it on the chin a lot lately. The caller said they should get rid of High Pitch Eric too. He said he's disgusting. Howard said they are remembering Eric the Actor on Sternthology all week on Howard 101.
The caller said they should do a best of for Sal and Richard's prank calls. He asked if Howard is going to save money on his wig maintenance. Howard laughed and said that he's going to save a fortune.
Howard played a clip of Natalie Maines talking about Eric the Actor. She was talking about the phone sex call they did to him. She also said she likes when he said he was ''club fucking footed, you asswipe.'' Howard said that all week they'll be having a remembrance of Eric. Howard said he may have been the best Wack Packer ever. Howard played a clip of Eric singing ''Wild Thing.''
Howard said that's his man Eric the Actor. Robin said Howard did love him. Howard said he couldn't get enough of him. Robin said he never got angry at him. Howard said it was hard to get angry at him. Howard said he loved when Eric called in as Derek the Actor. Howard said he really thought he was fooling him with that. He said that was so great.
Howard said he has some phony phone calls to play. He said he has one from Chris Wilding who took clips of him doing his parents voices where they have sex. Howard said he plays Chris' gay lover in that clip. Howard said there's another one where Sal and Richard do the Jack and Rod Show with 3 guys named John on and they keep asking ''John'' to speak so everyone is confused. Howard said he has others as well. Howard said it's up to Robin to choose. Robin went with a Jeff the Drunk prank call.
Howard said this is an angry woman with a radio show and she doesn't want people criticizing her for smoking. In the clip the woman is talking about smoking being bad. She took a call and they had Jeff talking about smoking being bad and then coughing. She took another call and Jeff was coughing more. The woman was coughing too. She thought Jeff was making fun of her.
Howard said that was pretty good. Robin said she wants to hear Howard as a fetish. Howard said this is a sex advice show and he's doing his father's impression with Chris. In the call Chris is playing a gay man who moved in with an older man. He says that it's getting a little too real and the older man is becoming his dad. He used clips of Howard to have a conversation on the air with the host of this show. The woman told him to get out of that relationship immediately. Chris had Howard telling him to come blow him immediately. The woman was appalled at what she was hearing. Chris went to blow him and made the sounds as if he were blowing him. The woman said that freaked her out. She said he really has to leave that relationship.
Howard said that was a good one. He said he loved when he said ''Shut up! Blow me!'' Howard said there is an endless supply of shows to call now. Howard said that's the great part of the internet. Howard said these hosts take their shows very seriously. Howard said you'd think you'd leave this couple blowing each other on the air. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard said he gets the feeling that his wife hates being part of it all but then she went on Periscope. Bobo said she doesn't hate the show. He said that the crossed the line when he went to the show for the end of the world thing.
Howard played a clip of Bobo doing one of his bits and pretends that he's bleeding. He said it just makes you angry. Howard played the clip and Bobo is on a treadmill and falls off. Howard said this is so bad. He said bad acting is way better than this. Howard said this is the opposite of the Lee Straussberg acting. Howard said it's so bad. Bobo was saying he was bleeding. Howard said a guy how was bleeding wouldn't say he's bleeding. Howard played more and Bobo said ''Fans, I'll be back later...'' because he had to get medical attention.
Howard asked if he hopes to get tons of fans and become a great. Bobo said no. Howard asked what the end game is. Bobo said he was trying to get more fans. He said now he's just doing stuff off the cuff and answering questions. Howard said Bobo sang ''Purple Rain'' like Medicated Pete does. Howard said then he falls. Howard said you can't even tell what's happening. Bobo said that his little guy switched his chair. Howard said he falls off the chair like Chevy Chase.
Howard played more of Bobo pretending to be hurt. Howard said he's like Johnny Knoxville in a way. Howard said it's like a very physical comedy. Howard said imagine there's a nuclear bomb that goes off and the only comedy left is Bobo's periscope. Howard said this is what we'd be stuck with. He said instead of Steve-O he's Steve-Blow. Howard said he knows why people hate him now. Bobo said he is just talking off the cuff.
Howard played a clip of Bobo talking about what his Periscopes are going to be like now. He said he's not going to do anything stupid anymore. He said he'll show his shrine and answer questions now. Howard played a bit where they did a ''Bobo's Funniest Home Periscopes'' thing.
Howard said he has that catch phrase where he does the ''Bobobobobo out.'' Bobo said that's his trademark. Bobo said he has a question for him. Howard said it's going to be lame. Bobo asked if Howard thinks if he interviewed Robert De Niro would he stay the whole time. He said he saw him on Jimmy Fallon and... Howard hung up on him. Howard said he wanted to save him from the fan reaction. Fred said there are some people who like to see what he does with Bobo when he annoys him.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she is a true friend. She said when she saw some of his shtick on Periscope she was questioning herself. Howard played a song parody for Mariann that Daniel Mendelson did. Mariann said she loves that one. Mariann said that she's calling about his contract. Mariann said she hopes he's relaxing after this whole America's Got Talent thing. She said she counted 35 more days of shows and she really needs him around. Howard hung up on her and said he only picked up so he could play that song parody again.
Howard said that Benjy is crying his big meatball eyes out over there. Benjy said now he's thinking about meatballs. Howard played more of the song and Fred did his Benjy voice goofing on him. Howard said Chris is cool. Fred asked if he wants to hear him doing ''A Day in the Life.'' Howard said why do that if it might not be as good. Fred played the song. Howard told him to kill it for now.
Howard asked Benjy if he's fasting for Yom Kippur. Benjy said no. Howard said he seems really Jewy. Benjy said he is. He said he likes fasting but he's not. Howard said it was a mistake to go to him. Robin said she loved how he stretched out his answer of ''no'' to ''Um, yeah, no... I'm not.'' to get more air time.
Robin mentioned that nutty Kim Davis woman. Howard said that he saw her on TV and she really is nutty. Howard said she wants to go back to jail because she got attention doing that. Howard said Mike Huckabee is into her and she's on TV crying about people calling her names. Howard said some people have no friends and the only one they have is their god. Howard said people are looking for something. He said they're looking for some friend.
Howard said this guy on the phone says he's on the White House lawn. Howard said he's amazed that anyone would put themselves through that. Howard said he did watch the pope land on TV yesterday. Howard asked the caller, Phil, why he was there. Phil said he's only 10 minutes away and he was offered a ticket. Phil said he's on the lawn and it's packed. He said there are a lot of people there with early morning farts. He said people seem to be handling it fine. The guy said he's been standing on his feet for 3 hours and he would rather stand on them for 7 hours instead of hearing Bobo singing Purple Rain again.
Howard asked if there are hot chicks there. Phil said there are. He said he'll probably hit on some. He said there is no drinking allowed but they do have water and nutri-bars. Howard thanked him for the update.
Howard said he's picturing a sea of Kim Davis' there. Howard said he wants to see pictures of the hot chicks. Howard said he had to take a break but Beverly Johnson is coming in after that. Howard said they have other stuff to get to as well. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said that Beverly Johnson is there and he has a million questions for her. He said she has a book she just wrote called ''The Face That Changed It All: A Memoir''.
Howard said that Beverly is very beautiful. Howard said looks are not a problem. Howard said what's weird about modeling is that there is a person behind that photo. Howard said that they think everything worked out. Howard said he's envious of people who look like her. Howard said the truth is that it's not always so easy. Beverly said beauty helps. She said it's not always easy though. She said that you do get good seats at restaurants and stuff. She said people see the glitz and glam and people don't realize there is a person behind all of that. She said people think they know her but they really don't. Howard said that people tend to look at her like a Barbie doll. Howard said meanwhile it's not like that. Howard said it can be just as confusing for her.
Howard asked Beverly about getting into modeling. Howard said you look at some and wonder if they're high. Howard said a lot of people have no way to evaluate themselves. Howard said good looking people think they're ugly and ugly people think they're good looking. Howard said Beverly had two sisters who had guys into them. Howard said Beverly didn't think she was good looking enough to be a model. Beverly said she didn't even know what that was. Howard asked who convinced her to be a model. Beverly said it was the girls who went to school with her at Northeastern University. She said that she had a job and people were asking her why she didn't model. She said she didn't know what it was so they showed her pictures. She said they were making $75 an hour. She said her father made that in a week. She said she grew up in Buffalo, New York. Howard said she was a swimmer and she thought about becoming an instructor. Howard said Pam Anderson got into shape playing sports as a kid. Beverly said you have to have a discipline to play any sport. She said she was swimming before and after school. She said that's what you need to do anything in life.
Howard asked if women come up to her asking if their kid is good looking enough to model. Beverly said a lot of people say they used to model. She said she's not sure how to respond to that. Beverly said you have to look at a photograph. She said some girls you think no but then you see them on the printed page and see they have it. She said you have to see the photo.
Howard said a lot of girls get ripped off by these fake modeling agencies and schools. Beverly said that there aren't many professions where you can make that kind of money.
Howard said Beverly's dad thought she was going to New York to become a hooker when she said she was going there to model. She said he didn't believe it existed. She said he said no and her mother went against him and went to New York. She said the rest is history.
Howard said Beverly went to Northeastern and her roommate didn't talk to her the whole time she was there because she was black. Beverly said that she would turn the lights out on her if she was reading. Beverly said the roommate was very smart and she liked to watch her. She said that the roommate started to talk to her after she started modeling and they became friends. She said that she doesn't really talk to her now but she gets messages about her now. Howard asked if she ever sat her down and talked to her about not talking to her. She said she really didn't. She said the whole family was like that. She said she thinks the girl learned a lesson. She said she thinks she eventually understood who she was. Beverly said that she was hurt by her but she thinks she eventually got it.
Howard said Beverly went to Eileen Ford and she told her that she'll never make it as a model. Howard asked if she was devastated. Beverly said not at all. She said she wanted to get an agent and she went to Eileen Ford. She said she was too fat as soon as she saw her. Beverly said she wanted to do a lot of things and Eileen told her she'd never have those things. She said she knew she meant it but she went to Wilomena models instead. Howard said they thought she could do it so that's why she signed with them. Beverly said absolutely. Howard said that she was the first black model to break through some of those barriers. Beverly said everyone wanted to go to Vogue magazine and that's the Super Bowl for models. Howard said that separates you out from the pack.
Howard said a lot of models say you have to sleep with the photographer to get on the cover. He asked if Beverly had to do that. Beverly said that one of the guys was great but he was gay. She said that she doesn't think he was interested. Beverly said that Lauren Hutton once said that she fucked her way to the top. She said she loved her for that. Beverly said she didn't have to sleep with anyone to get on the cover. Howard said she had no idea that she was going to be on the cover until it came out. Beverly said she didn't believe it until she saw it. She said that it was a really pretty picture. She said they didn't know how to photograph black women so there were some not so pretty pictures of her back then. She said the cover was amazing and it was a defining moment in her life.
Howard said she became famous right away. Beverly said that she didn't realize she was the first woman of color on the cover. She said she was tuning out all of that stuff. Beverly said that she realized it was a big deal. Beverly said she had to go on a self discovery thing and really look at it.
Howard said Beverly was very young and you have to capitalize on them while you can. Howard said you have to make a living while you can. Howard said her rate went up so what was it up to. She said back then it went from $75 to $125 an hour. She said then you could ask for more for doing catalogs.
Howard asked who the big names were back then. She said Renee Russo, Cheryl Tieggs and people like that were big. Howard asked if she got a price comparison between her and the other models. Beverly said she would go on catalog jobs and she'd ask what they were making. They wouldn't tell her. She said finally someone did and she was making twice what she was making so she had to ask for more. She said she was doing more work than the other model and the other model was getting paid more.
Howard said Beverly talks about a husband who bankrupted her. Howard said that has to be devastating. Howard said that a lot of time is limited for a model. Howard said it must have hurt to be fleeced like that. Beverly said she had to pick herself up and keep going. She said that Eileen told her that 99 percent of models end up leaving the business broke. She said you think it's going to last forever but it doesn't. She said one day the phone doesn't ring anymore. She said that you have a mid life crisis at 25. She said that's the tough part. Beverly said that her friend was 25 and getting started in her life. She said she realized that she was living in a bubble and not in reality. Howard asked if that she went to anorexia because she was looking at everything about herself. Beverly said that the weight is the big part. She said if you're 18 and tall and skinny you fill out by 21. She said you have to do what you have to do to be that 18 year old. She said that's what makes you nuts.
Howard said that he starts to read about her life and her life changes financially. Howard said then you fall into this thing where famous men are hitting on her and she could fall into being a party girl when you should be out earning. Beverly said that most of the time women like herself feel a certain amount of power because you have money for both of you. She said that there are a lot of parasites out there who glom on to you.
Howard said there was one guy who was married and he walked her to the door and started molesting her. Howard said it seems like it's one parasitic man after another. He asked if she trusts men at all. Beverly said she does. She said that you have to have an open heart and not harbor anger and bitterness. Howard asked if she is religious. Beverly said she's spiritual. Howard said he thought she'd have to be to let that kind of stuff go.
Howard asked if she felt like a princess with all of these famous guys taking her out. Beverly said it was a lot of fun and intoxicating. Howard asked if Jack Nicholson taught her anything about life. Beverly said he was a real gentleman and a charmer. She said that's what's portrayed on the screen. She said it really comes through on the screen. Howard asked if Jack was a love interest. She said he wasn't. He was just a friend. Howard asked if Warren Beatty scored with her. She said no to that as well. She said that she thought he was a gentleman too. She said she just enjoyed him.
Howard asked if she was going on dates or parties. She said that they were just going to their apartments and hanging out. Howard said it's a scene. She said that Studio 54 was a scene. She said she went there once and stayed there for 3 days.
Howard said that models do coke and they keep their weight under control with that. Beverly said she got addicted. She said they said it wasn't addictive but it was. Beverly said that she ended up getting addicted and overdosed. She said that she went to a 12 step program to get off of that. Beverly said she has a history of alcoholism in her family and you get to understand what you have and she believes she has an allergy.
Howard asked Beverly about befriending model Patty Hanson who married Keith Richards. Howard said Keith is one of the greatest ever. Beverly said he's even more cool than he'll ever know. Howard said Beverly talks about how Keith turned to her on an airplane and sang her songs that he was writing. She said they were on the Concorde together. She said that he would sing songs to her and it was just so cool. She said he is so talented and such a great writer. Beverly said she went to the bathroom with Patty and she told her that he was the one. She said that she told her to slow up. Beverly said that they did and it's wonderful. Howard said it has to be intoxicating to hang out with a rock star who is creating great music like that. Howard said it has to be the greatest seduction. Beverly said she was hanging around with a lot of musicians and Bob Marley was one of them. She said that he was so handsome and that's one she regrets not being with. She said that he was too much for her. She said he blew her mind.
Howard said the pot thing was big in Bob Marley's life. Beverly said it was constant. She said he was the coolest of the cool. Howard asked if she remembers any of the songs that Keith Richards played for her on the plane. She said she thinks he was working on his solo album at the time but didn't remember any of the songs in particular.
Howard said he was never cool and he has no idea how to do it. Beverly said that the best thing is not to talk too much. She said that you have to be an observer. She said that's what the cool guys do. She said they don't say much at all.
Howard gave Beverly a plug for her book ''The Face That Changed It All: A Memoir'' and for her web site BeverlyJohnson.com
Howard said she talks in the book about her marriages. Howard said they weren't all so great. She said one was. Howard said that people thought that she and Arthur Ashe would be a couple. Beverly said she was working for white magazines and he was dating white women. She said that her gay guru told her to go out with him because they'd be a power couple. She said she ended up liking her immediately. Howard said she says that Arthur was in such good shape that he could fuck her for hours. Beverly said that it made her believe in nerds. She said she has a nerd now. Howard said that some guys think they can hold out and it's good but sometimes it's too much. Beverly said that it can be too much.
Howard said that Beverly writes about how she wanted to wear sexy outfits to turn him on and make him cum faster. Beverly said she wanted to keep her body for someone else just in case. She said it was fun to see what made him tick. Howard asked if she ever told him the sessions were too long. She said you can't do that. Beverly said she discovered that he had to be stimulated visually. She said she got it down to a shorter time after that.
Howard said that he's not sure he could hold out for more than a few minutes. Beverly said she was 103-117 pounds at the time. She said that it wasn't that at all. Howard said he thinks she's wrong. That relationship only lasted a year. Howard asked if she thought about marrying him. She said she did. She said they were flying all over and Arthur was so smart. She said then she got the phone call. She said she had never been dropped before. She said she couldn't believe it. She said that he said he had met someone. She said she hung up the phone and called back asking where they were having dinner that night. She said that he got angry at that.
Howard asked if she wanted some kind of closure. She said she didn't. She said she met Arthur's wife and she was very nice. She said that was the right thing for them.
Howard said Beverly met Mike Tyson when he was only 19. She was 34. Howard said that she told him to win and she'd have sex with him. She said she was very serious about that. She said that she thought he was a sweet guy. She said she didn't think he'd win. Beverly said he wasn't that well known at the time. Beverly said she told him she'd give him some if he won. Howard said Tyson won and he got on a plane and in her apartment 19 hours later. Beverly said that she didn't get a call or anything. She said that he came to her door and it was like she just saw him on TV. She said she had to do something. Howard said he was a young man so he didn't have much experience. She said that he is a champion in every way. Howard said she describes Mike in the book and talks about how he met Robin Givens. Howard said she must have been upset by that. Beverly said not at all. She said that she didn't think he'd marry her. Howard asked if she knew it would be a disaster. Beverly said she hoped that it would work out. She said that celebrity marriages don't always work out. Howard said you have to be grown up to deal with that stuff.
Howard said Beverly writes about the Bill Cosby thing. Howard said some of the women are saying that people criticizing them is like being raped again. Beverly said that she thinks it's an opportunity to let people know that not all people speak out about this kind of thing. Howard said that there is a lot on the line when you come out. Beverly said she was coming out of a relationship with a not so nice guy and you know how callus a person like that can be. She said you want to pick your battles in life.
Howard said Beverly is one of the lucky ones. Howard said she had the same M.O. as the other women. Howard said she came up to act with Cosby and he wanted her to drink something and he drugged her. Howard said she was woozy but somehow fought him off. Beverly said she was so disappointed in him. She said she looked him dead in the eyes and said ''You too?'' or ''Not you!'' She said she just exploded. She said that this was dangerous. She said that she was so devastated. Howard asked if his wife was home. She said there was staff at home but she's not sure about the wife. She said that she had made 4 visits to the home so this wasn't the first one.
Howard said it's amazing that this guy is a serial rapist. Howard said if you wrote a TV show or movie about it no one would believe it. Beverly said that you need to have the conversation about this stuff. She said it's very hard to find a woman who hasn't been sexually assaulted or attacked. She said it's so prevalent in the world. She said that we're all supposed to be equals. Howard asked Beverly about when she came out and talked about the Bill Cosby thing people were saying she was doing it for attention. Howard said that's probably the last thing she would do. She said that would be the last thing she would want to do. Beverly said she felt for her self that she had to do it. She said there come a time when you have to do something and that's what she had to do. She said that she couldn't let the other women deal with it alone. She said that she saw it happening and she thought ''Oh my god.'' She said that she asked other people what she should do. Howard asked if she talked to Oprah about that. She said it was another woman who told her she had to speak her truth. She said she had already written the article and she just had to figure out how to do it.
Howard gave Beverly another plug for her book and then talked about how she dated Eddie Murphy once but she found that he was too full of himself. Howard said you'd think he'd be aware of that. Beverly said there are comics who had a tortured childhood and they're mean. She said she's not sure what Eddie had but she does like him. She said that he is a brilliant comic. Beverly said that he needed more from her than he could give. Howard asked if she has paintings of herself hanging in her house. She said she has one that she did at 19. She said that it's of herself nude and people don't believe it's her. Howard asked how many hours she had to pose. She said it wasn't that long.
Howard asked if there is any lesbian stuff in the book. She said he has to wait for the next book. She said there aren't many things that she hasn't tried. Howard wrapped up with Beverly and went to break a short time later. They played Dave Grohl performing ''My Hero'' as they were going to break.
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Robin said the other thing she noticed is that he's the only one who can wear white like the bride in a wedding. Howard played more boring audio of the pope talking. Howard said that he got caught up in watching him yesterday but this would be hard to site through. Howard said it would be for him. Howard said he makes Scott the Engineer sound like Tony Robbins.
Howard asked Robin how long that was, an hour? He said it was actually 55 seconds. Howard said he finds these guys really boring. Howard said if you act bored then you go to hell. Robin said that the other cardinals there have their capelets blowing all over. Howard said the pope has a guy who holds his down. Robin said there's one guy who has his in the wrong place.
Howard asked Robin if she'd rather watch Bobo's Periscope or the pope. Howard said he thinks he'd rather watch Bobo. Howard said he was never into these religious guys speaking.
Howard took a call from a Greg the guy who went to jail for threatening to kill Ronald Reagan. Greg had a really shitty phone connection. Howard said his mental health is awful and so is his phone connection. Howard did an impression of what he sounds like on the phone and then let him go. Howard said you don't want to piss him off because he'll threaten you.
Howard took a call from Tommy from Malden who asked him about getting booed at America's Got Talent a lot. Howard said if he said anything that they'd consider negative he'd get booed. Howard said he was just giving advice and he'd get booed. Tommy said if anyone says anything negative they get pissed off. Howard said he was trying to help. Tommy said it doesn't make sense. Robin said being nice doesn't help anyone get anywhere. Howard said the whole premise of the show is judges telling you what they like. Howard said people are shocked when they hit the X. Howard said even the show is shocked. He said he'd hit the X and they wouldn't show it. He said they told him they thought he was mean.
Tommy said those dogs won the show the first year he was on. He said they're playing a big place where he saw Norm MacDonald once. Howard said the show can change lives. Howard said the kid who won last year had a special on NBC. Howard said that guy held up pictures of everyone but him. Howard said all of the other judges took part in his special but he didn't. Howard said he was asked to do it and he said no so he didn't show any picture of him. Howard said he was happy for Matt that he won last year but he didn't show a photo. Howard said people don't like him because he doesn't cooperate all the time.
Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't there. He said that he has a lot of stuff to play. Howard said he did enough phony phone calls. Howard said he should bank a few. Howard said too much of a good thing...
Howard said Robin forgot that his cat was named Yoda. Robin said she has changed her cat's name. Howard said someone wrote a song about her forgetting the name. Howard played the song which was to one of the Star Wars themes. It was all about Robin naming her cat Yoda. Howard said he likes that. Robin said she changed her cat's name to Simba. Howard played another song parody about Robin forgetting the name of the cat. Robin was cracking up over that one. Howard said that's a good one. He said he's not sure who did that one. Howard said it's probably psych. Howard said someone said they did that one. Howard said it's good.
Howard said they have a lot of Robin song parodies about making love to her and assault her sexually. Howard asked what she wants to hear. Robin said she didn't want to hear any of them. Howard played a Robin Ramble On song. Howard said that was Eli Braden. Howard said maybe that's enough of the songs for today. Robin said no, forever. Howard said he can never get enough of those songs. Howard said it's a good advertisement for her future husband.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to talk about the super moon that's happening on Sunday night. Howard said he's not watching that. The caller said it's only happened 5 times. Howard asked what that means. The guy said it means that the orbit of the moon is as close to the earth as it gets. He said that it's 14 percent bigger looking. Howard said he's always disappointed when he participates in that. Robin said super moons are impressive. Howard said Richard has a super moon for Robin right now. Howard said he never watches that stuff. Robin said she noticed it one night and it was huge. She said that it was beautiful. Howard said he won't be out Sunday night looking at that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the movie Private Parts when he was asking women out and if that really happened to him. Howard said he didn't even approach women. He said he had women in college. He said that was done as a joke. Howard said he had some very beautiful women too. Howard said that he had a lot of rejection too. Howard said you had to be an open minded woman to be with him. Howard talked about dating a girl who was really hot and guys would ask why he was with her because she was so hot. Howard said she was really into him. He said he was somehow able to say he didn't really like this person. Howard said he felt that she was the hottest girl on campus and he broke up with her. Howard said it was weird though. He said once in awhile he had moments of maturity. Howard said his dating in college was very odd. He said that he dated some women who had good bodies but a butter-face. Howard said that he was repulsed with himself for doing some of that.
Howard said he remembers being in his dormitory and he was eating with his friend Lou. He said Lou was a good looking guy and he was a med student. Howard said he was sitting there and the best looking girl in the dorm looked over at them and came over being flirtatious. Howard said one of her friends came to him and said she wanted to meet him. Howard said he went to her door and said that he was taking a survey. Howard said she looked at him like he was an idiot. He said he started shaking and he ended up sort of going on a date with her. He said he was shaking so bad that she must have thought something was wrong with him.
Howard said that he a few girls he dated. He said the ones who wanted him he didn't want. Howard said he had sex with pretty much every girl at camp. He said that he felt more alive there. He said that it was weird. He said it was like he was George Clooney one day and Rocky Dennis the next. Howard said he was very confused. He said he always felt horrible inside though. He said that's the one thing he could rely on. The caller said that he can't find chicks. Howard said he should get famous. He let the guy go a short time later.
Robin read about the pope's arrival in New York yesterday. Howard said he should have stayed quiet like Beverly Johnson said cool guys do. Howard said they have pope music now. Fred played that for a few seconds. Howard had some audio of people cheering for the pope. Robin said it doesn't matter who you call the pope. Howard told her not to get into that. Robin had a few more clips for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about a Barbie doll called Normal Barbie. Howard said that must be so girls don't have self image issues.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he gloats about Led Zeppelin constantly. He said they have shown the audience how they have plagiarized songs. Howard said that's right. Howard said some things you just like. Howard said he doesn't think through every injustice in the world. Howard said he gets charged up over Kashmir. Howard said everyone is so busy trying to figure out what they should do. Howard said that once they got into it they wrote their own stuff that was better than their earlier stuff.
Robin got back to Normal Barbie and said it's so you can have a discussion with your daughter about their body. Robin said that you can talk to them about becoming a woman. Howard asked if they have a Normal Ken too. Howard said he gets fat, jerks off a lot and watches football.
Robin read a story about a friend of Ryan Reynolds who was trying to sell a picture of his daughter. Robin said Ryan said that he knew the guy for 25 years. Howard said you'd like to think that maybe you've got 2 or 3 real relationships. Howard said that's about as good as it can get. Howard said he'd never do anything to hurt Robin and he hopes she'd never hurt him. Robin said never. Howard said if Fred was shopping a picture around that would hurt. Fred asked if it would be okay if he shared the profit. Howard said that would be fine. Robin said this guy thought he was never going to get caught. Robin said Ryan discovered what was going on and it led to a dark period and now he'll never speak to that guy again. Howard said Ryan is banging Blake Lively so he'll be okay. Howard said things are going to well when you're fucking her. Howard said both of them are hot. They talked about how Ryan was married to Scarlet Johansson too. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
After the break Howard had Robin get back to her news. Robin read a story about Yogi Berra dying yesterday at the age of 90. Robin said he was in 10 World Series. Howard said he was a great baseball player and he signed up to go to war during World War II. Howard said he was just 19 years old and he was mesmerized at the sight of bombs going off. Robin read some of the details of his career. Howard said he loved that he loved that Pic-a-nic basket but he never got along with that park ranger. Howard said he actually related to Boo-Boo more than Yogi Bear. He said that he's not sure what Boo-Boo was to Yogi. Howard asked Gary if he knows. Gary said he thinks he was just his friend. Howard said he was much younger though. Gary said he thought it was just his buddy. Howard said he's hanging out with a young child. Gary said he doesn't know. Howard said maybe he was a smaller bear. Howard asked why the park ranger didn't like them. Gary said it was because they were stealing picnic baskets. Fred looked it up and said Boo-Boo was a cub. Howard said that's a sick relationship. Howard said they say that he was his ''companion'' in one description. Howard said it's wrong to be with a child. Howard said he was a cub.
Robin read more about Yogi Berra and some of the things he'd say walking out to the plate. She had a bunch of quotes from him. Robin said people say these things all the time now. She said they were first uttered by Yogi Berra. Robin had a clip about how Yogi got his nickname. It was a clip of Yogi talking about how he had his legs crossed one day and a friend said he looks like a Yogi sitting like that. That's how he got his nickname. Robin had more audio for Howard to play.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who asked if he knows what his fans have changed his name to. Howard said that Yogi Berra said you have to give it 100 percent all the time but Jeff gives it 29 percent. Jeff said his little bitches named him the Pope of Scope this morning. Howard ignored that and played a bit where they had Jeff and The Lump singing together on an album. Howard picked up on The Lump and asked how long they were in the studio together. The Lump said it was hours. The Lump asked fuck face how he's doing. Jeff asked if he just woke up. The Lump said he's been up all day. He said he's up when Jeff is up. Howard asked if you can block people on Periscope. The Lump said he can't block anyone. He said he's just leaking pus all over Jeff. Jeff said ''All hail the Pope of Scope.'' He did his click thing after that. Jeff said he has an interesting web site to go to for porn. Jeff said something but Howard didn't understand. Jeff said it's Chatterbate. The Lump said this is even more boring than his Periscope. Howard asked The Lump what he does when Jeff masturbates. The Lump said he pretends that he's on Wendy's breast or something. Howard let Jeff and The Lump go after that. They cursed each other out before Howard hung up. Robin said she loves that team.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about an Ohio restaurant worker who got caught with his hands down his pants. He took a selfie of himself and that went viral. Robin said that the guy was fired and the staff has been retrained.
Robin read a story about how selfies have killed more people than sharks this year. Howard said people drive with selfies and walk into walls. Howard said that it's crazy. Robin read about a 66 year old tourist who fell down some stairs trying to take a selfie at the Taj Mahal. Howard said it's so much cooler to die by shark. Robin said that brings the deaths from selfies to 12. There have been 8 deaths from shark attacks.
Robin read about how Donald Trump is going to sue a group for some ads they have out about him. Howard asked what he needs this stuff for. Robin read the details of the story and had some audio of the commercials they're running about Trump. Howard said it's kind of happy music for a horrible thing that they're going after him for. Howard said that sounds like a song that Alanis Morissette did called ''Thank You.''
Howard took a call from Balls who said he thought that Beverly Johnson interview was pretty interesting. Howard said she's cool. Howard said he was looking at her book and she had some interesting things in there. Howard said she had an incredible life. Howard talked about the Keith Richards story and how crazy that must have been. Balls asked if he saw that video of the John Lennon making fun of a handicapped guy that's gone viral. Howard said he did see that. Howard said someone posted the link to the video of him making fun of a handicapped guy. Howard said he loves his music and he didn't want to see that. Balls was saying something that Robin didn't understand. Howard said that he has something wrong with him. He said that they can't get one normal caller to call in. Balls said that he just got over a hernia operation. He said he's loopy from the pain meds too.
Howard said they were talking about Bill Cosby with Beverly Johnson earlier. Howard said Sinbad is defending Cosby now. Howard had a clip of Sinbad talking about what he knows. Howard said when these guys get ignorant they start losing their grammar. Howard played the clip and Sinbad said none of this makes sense to him. He said it would have made more sense 20 years ago if they had come out. He said he tells women to come out right away. Howard said Sinbad always says ''come forward''. Sinbad was asking where all of the dudes are that didn't get mad. He said he would have been waiting outside his house. Sinbad said you wait outside that house with a baseball bat or a Glock. Howard said Sinbad will just go kill someone if they fuck with him.
Howard wondered where Sinbad has been. Gary said he saw him in the lobby last year. He said that he said to say hi to Howard. Howard said he was funny when he was on the show. Gary said he's reading about him now and he's had some tax problems over the past. He said maybe he's recovered from all of that. Howard said he thought he was a good guest when he was on. Robin said going to comics isn't a good idea when it comes to bill Cosby. Robin said all comics other than Hannibal Buress who wasn't afraid to speak out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Jeff the Drunk stoke that ''Chello'' from Jimmy JJ Walker on ''Good Times.'' He said Jeff is taking the credit and he didn't even make it up. Howard said he thought Jeff had something there. He said Jeff did change it up a bit.
Robin read a story about republicans blocking a late term abortion bill. Robin had some clips of some people commenting on that.
Robin read a story about the military responding to the story about how they are supposed to ignore sexual abuse of boys in Afghanistan. Robin had a clip of a spokesperson talking about that.
Robin read a story about refugees who are going to Baltimore. Robin had some audio of a guy who made his way to Baltimore and how it's affected his life. Howard said it sucks that you get one shot at life and you get stuck in some shitty country. Howard said this country is much better than anywhere else.
Robin had some audio of Hillary Clinton talking about the Keystone Pipeline. Robin had audio of Ben Carson commenting on something he was called out on.
Robin read about how Gary Busey is safe again on Dancing with the Stars. Robin said he's always on the bottom two but he survives. Robin said they threw out the jockey this week. They wrapped up the news and ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon said his answer is absolutely not. He said it has nothing to do with his religious beliefs. He said it has to do with traffic in the city. Jon said that he has never been to this country before but this is going to cause havoc. Jon said that you have to put yourself in the traffic for a day and then see how you feel.
Jon said when he hears there are pope bobble head dolls that's weird. He said he seems like a nice enough guy. He said that many people feel like they're reaching out and touching god. He said he sort of gets it. Rahsaan said he doesn't get it. He said most people will see him for 2 seconds. Jon asked how that's different than going to a parade for the Yankees. Rahsaan said he doesn't go. Gary said some people do though. Gary asked who Rahsaan loves in media. Rahsaan said he loves Kobe. Gary asked if he would go to a parade if he was in it. Rahsaan said no. He said he'd go to a game but not a parade. Gary said that he thinks there is a whole thing about being in the presence of him. He said they feel it can fall off on you. Jon said sometimes people like to hedge their bets and it doesn't hurt to go say hi to the pope. Gary said that there is no upside to him to disrespect the pope. He said there is no upside.
Jon said if you're in New York it doesn't matter who is causing traffic. He said people are going to be pissed no matter who it is. Gary said one of the great things about coming to Sirius is that they're near the west side. He said that he can avoid it going home. Gary said the worst stuff seems to happen on the East side. They went to break after that.
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Jon said a lot of people come in and talk about how they didn't get a lot of attention when they were young. He said you can spot it pretty early on if they're going to be attractive. Jon said Beverly was saying that the guys were paying attention to her sisters. Jon said if you act like you have something going on then people will be interested. Rahsaan said that the fashion industry is looking for a certain look. He said a little weird might be what they're looking for.
Gary said the thing he finds weird is when you sign up for a business that has a 99 percent failure rate. He said that they tell you what's wrong with you too. He said you have to have a special drive for that. He said it's in the modeling business and in the acting business.
Jon said back then Beverly had a roommate in college who didn't talk to her because she was black. Gary said that would never happen today. He said they'd change your roommate right away.
Gary said that Beverly talked about the power of the nerd and she was with a guy today who was a very normal guy.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary how he can be so sure that there's a 99.9 percent chance there is no god. Gary said that's just his opinion. Gary said he was raised catholic but he doesn't believe in organized religion. The caller said you don't have to believe in that to believe in god. Gary said he doesn't want to get into a big religion discussion. The caller said he thinks there is a god. Gary said that's his opinion. He asked how he's so sure he's right. The guy said it's his faith. He said you have to have faith in something. Gary said that's what he has to do but not everyone does.
Jon said he thinks that a lot of people say they're spiritual. Jon asked if that's being agnostic. Gary said he thinks that's what he is. He said that he's not atheist. He said he's hedging his bet. They spent a little more time talking about the religion thing.
Jon and Gary talked about Sal and his faith. Jon said there are some areas that Sal won't go into and Jesus is one of them. Gar said he thinks that is him being superstitious.
Jon said getting back to Beverly Johnson... He said she talked about Bill Cosby today and what happened between her and Cosby. Jon said that Cosby was one of the most powerful and trusted people in entertainment. Gary said a lot of people have said they've been threatened by his lawyers not to come out with this stuff. Gary said people think that it's a money play. Gary said that this stuff defines you and it's hard for people to come out and do that. He said that if she had come out 30 years ago that's what she would have been known for. Jon said that there are different people telling you what to do and you end up being put on trial. He said that women don't want re-live that stuff. Gary said that the thing they get is that it's money play and there is no money involved. He said the statute of limitations is up and they can't sue him. Gary said there is no money there. He said it's important for them to get it off their chest. They went to break after that.
Gary said he will listen or watch someone and then find out their politics are different and it'll bum him out but it won't make him not like them anymore.
Jon took a call from a guy who said they had the Pope in Minneapolis and they shut the whole city down. He said people couldn't get in. Gary said no one wanted to see the last pope anyway. He said people seem to love this new pope so maybe that's why people want something to do with him.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she likes Beverly Johnson and she was date raped as a young girl in her neighborhood and she didn't talk about it for 25 years. She said it's a stigma when you do come out and she loved hearing Beverly talk about it. She said it was a great interview and she really enjoyed it. Gary said he's sorry for what happened to her. He said you never know how you're going to react until it happens to you. Jon said that people blame themselves for things like that happening. He said Beverly didn't tell her parents for a long time. He said that it's such a mind fuck. The caller agreed.
Gary said that a lot of people apply today's philosophy to the past. He said that John Lennon thing was from 1961 and things were different back then. He said he knows it's a bullshit thing but it was a different time.
Jon said they talked about Yogi Berra passing away. Jon said he doesn't think people appreciated how good a baseball player he was. Jon said he was probably the most successful player ever. Gary said he was very solid season after season. Gary said he took the Mets to the World Series and then they fired him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it seems like Robin is such a flaming liberal based on the news. He said Howard seems to have to go along with it. He said that Robin's news is bashing any other viewpoint and he thinks that's what the other caller was making. Gary said he doesn't see that. He said Howard has been talking politics forever though. Jon said Robin is doing the news and Robin will give the stories out as fact and then Howard will give his opinions. Gary said there are people who listen to the show and say they loved it until they made fun of something that upset them.
Jon played a clip of Danny Zuker talking about Eric the Actor and where he was when he heard about him passing away. He said he got an email from Jimmy Kimmel who broke the news about it. He said he was very sad when he found out. Danny said that he does miss Eric on the show.
Jon said he's not sure if there was a bigger Eric fan than Jimmy Kimmel. Gary said that he treated Eric with respect and dignity and a lot of people didn't.
Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology. He got the results of the poll from Rahsaan too. Rahsaan said that 75 percent said no to his crap. He said he doesn't hate the pope but he would like to get home in a reasonable amount of time. They ended the show a short time later. They were done around Noon.
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Jon asked Rahsaan what they had for the poll today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''Which Guest This Week Had the Most to Overcome in Their Life?'' and the choices were:
Jon said he thinks that Jewel wins there. Jon said he's not sure how she's even alive today after what she had to go through. Gary said he can say that Jewel had a lot of adversity but she came out of it okay. Gary said Beverly was victimized by Cosby and Pam was gang raped.
Jon asked Tamar what she thinks. Tamar said that she thinks Pam is the one. She said she loves Jewel and she would like her to be her life coach. Jon said they'll have the results of that poll later.
Jon said that Tamar and Derek have thoughts on Eric the Actor. Jon said they're celebrating Eric on Sternthology this week. Derek said the song Jewel sang about Eric made him cry. He said he thinks Eric wouldn't have appreciated it. Gary said he wouldn't have been happy about some of the lyrics.
Jon asked Tamar if she got choked up hearing that. She said she did. Jon said maybe people are remembering him in a different way now that he's gone. Gary said he had a friend in high school who was a dick and they didn't like him until after they found out he died.
Gary said he took it more in stride. He said Eric did piss him off at times. He said that he'd ask him to do something and then he'd get mad when he didn't do it fast enough. Tamar said she sent Eric a DVD off his Wishlist and he sent her a note thanking her but also pointing out other things he liked.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Eric would have been pissed off by some of the lyrics. He said she said he was 2'11'' and he would have been pissed about that since he was like 3'6'' or something. Jon said he thinks he would have been flattered but then he would have wanted a little bit more. He said that he did get quite a few things. He said he wanted to act and things like that and he achieved that. He said Eric managed to get a lot of that stuff and others don't.
Derek said that Eric was like a spoiled brat. He said that anyone like that is going to demand stuff like that. They went to break a short time later.
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Gary asked about how bad someone has gotten drunk. Derek said they have a medic on set who makes sure they don't go too far. He said he saw someone blow a .281. He said they put oxygen on a lot of people. He said if you're drunk you need oxygen and it brings them back to life.
Jon said they have their own drunk in Richard Christy. He said his argument is that he shows up to work and does his job. Jon said he's a ''functioning alcoholic.'' Jon asked if he thinks he has a problem. Derek said everyone has to figure it out for themselves. He said that what he worries about is Richard crying over the movie ''Halloween.'' He said he had to be drunk crying over that show. Derek said he's a crier too but that's a drunk thing to cry over. Derek said Richard drinks that pumpkin beer stuff.
Gary said Howard has toned down the drinking but he used to be up for drinking. He said that he doesn't drink to the point where he gets cut off or has to be wheeled off an airplane in a wheelchair.
Tamar said that when you have to wear a diaper because you've drunk so much that's where she thinks it's a problem. Jon said some people think that's genius. He said he's not bothering anyone but himself unless other people can smell it. Gary asked if it would be better if he used one of these condom things that goes into a leg bag. Tamar said guys have it so easy already and they have to come up with more contraptions. Derek said that's the laziest person he's ever seen. He said that you just have to stop if you do that.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she loves Drunk History and Derek Waters. She asked if they would ever do a Howard Stern segment. Derek said they did a Richard and Sal segment. He said he's not sure who he would have talking about Howard Stern. He said he might pick Tamar. He said that whoever plays Howard is going to be hated by Howard. He said he'd try to get Howard to play Howard but that won't happen. Gary said Howard doesn't like being represented in things that he wasn't asked to be in. Tamar asked who Lena Dunham said Howard looked like. Jon said they'll have to look that up. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon asked Derek about Bobo and what he thinks. Derek said that he's one of the people who tries to be funny and he doesn't laugh but when he's just being himself he laughs. Tamar said that she isn't happy that Bobo is back. Gary asked what's so annoying about him. She said that it's just a feeling she gets. She said she wants to change the channel when he's on. She said it's so sad.
Jon said that there are always people who don't want to hear these people on the air. He said Bobo is the one who gets the most universal hate. He said he seems to be one of the nicer guys though. He said he seems to have the sense of entitlement though. He said that showed when Eric Andre was in there taking calls. Gary asked why his sense of entitlement is worse than Eric the Actor's. Jon said he thinks that universally people were saying keep that ''Bobo Free Summer'' going. Gary said he enjoys how you can see right through his bullshit insincerity. He said he asks questions that are so obvious. Jon said he still wants to hear what's in his journals. He said he had months to prepare and you know there is a gem in there somewhere.
Jon said that Bobo could have had a great comeback and turned things around but it didn't happen. Tamar said that if he had done that she may have been turned around. Gary said that Bobo has a lot of things that are like ''feel sorry for me'' when he's on. Derek said that he does talk about how hard things were for him when he was off.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Eric was gold for the show but he was a real asshole. He said he was so ungrateful for what they did for him. He said it was annoying. The caller said deep down Eric was kind of a jerk. Jon said if he was a nice guy then it wouldn't have been the same person. The caller said he would have liked to have seen some of that appreciation.
Gary said he had a phone call with Eric the year before he died on Thanksgiving Eve. He said he told Eric he wanted him to be at the Birthday Show. He said he asked him to call back and let him know what it would take to get him out there. Gary said they had a nice talk. He said Eric said to him that it was the longest they've ever spoken off the air. He said he told Eric to call him back about getting out there and he never got back to him about coming to the show. Derek said he has friends who won't accept good things because that's their comfort. He said they have to change to be comfortable. Gary said you'd think Eric would have wanted to be there. Gary said he wanted to put a cable on Eric and have him fly down on to the stage. Jon said he remembers talking about that. He said that would have trumped everything. He said the fans would have loved that.
Jon asked Rahsaan for the results of the poll. Rahsaan said that Jewel got 78 percent of the votes. Jon got in some plugs for Sternthology and for his guests before ending the show around 12:10pm.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. After that Jon said their poll is the week ending poll. Jon said the poll is about Eric the Actor and that poll has been going on all week. Jon said they will play the winner today on Sternthology. The choices were:
Jon asked Paul about which one he would pick. Paul went through them all and said that it's tough to pick one. Jon said the ''Zero point Zero'' thing turned into a bigger thing because Eric would threaten Fred if he played it and Fred kept playing it.
Jon said he wants to talk about Sour Shoes. He said they rave about him all the time. He asked Paul what he thinks about him. Paul said he thinks he's a savant. He said he'd like to hear him do some original music. He said there is no explanation for what he does other than being a savant. Gary said he's not sure if he has written an original song. Gary asked how they think he'd do ''Don't Forget The Lyrics.'' Jon said he thinks he'd do very well. He said Sour is great when he's just winging it. He said then he starts doing the voices and it's amazing. They went to break after that.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Howard is a big fat dick when it comes to vinyl. He said if Jimmy Kimmel was into it then Howard would be into it. He said it feels very private when you're listening to vinyl. He said they listen to vinyl with the kids in the kitchen every morning. Jon asked Gary if he thinks Howard has made up his mind on vinyl. Gary said the idea of it is a dumb idea. He said Howard doesn't see the need to do it but he doesn't know. He said he thinks Howard has fun breaking balls and that's why he does it.
The caller said he knows they like to defend Howard in this stuff. He said if they go back and listen to the shows over the past two months they'll notice that every time Robin asks a question to a guest Howard cuts her off almost immediately. He said she hasn't had a question answered by a guest at all. He said if they go back and listen they'll hear that pattern. Jon said he hasn't noticed that. He said they can go back and listen though. He said when Howard gets into a flow it doesn't matter who interrupts. He said he'll cut anyone off. He said that Robin seems to get in more questions than ever before. Gary said he had a story to tell the other day and Howard kept interrupting him and he never got the story out. Gary said he and Jon do the show and talk over each other all the time. He said it's not like they have a line to read. He said it's just how that goes.
Jon asked Paul if he has noticed Howard and Robin cutting each other off. Paul said no but he imagines it's tough when they have a guest in the studio. He said things are going to get interrupted once in a while.
Jon said Howard hears the radio show as a symphony and he plays it in his head. He said he may have someone come in and he'll let the person know it if he wants to keep going. Gary said Howard is the symphony leader. He said he could do a special based on Howard just asking him why he's at the microphone in the studio. He said Howard will ask why he's there and things like that. Then he'll tell him off the air to chime in more or not to chime in so much. He said there is no set rule.
Gary said he walks into the studio with a thought and Howard will be doing his thing and then he'll change his thought and he'll be on his way in about the last thing so he'll just turn around and leave.
Jon took a call from a guy who went back to the vinyl thing and said he agrees with Gary about putting the vinyl on and how you get engaged in the act of putting it on. He said you're involved in it. He said you don't just play it while you wash dishes. Gary said he still has the stereo cabinet his mother had. He said he got it refinished because he's so attached to it. Gary said he has vivid memories about listening to albums on it.
Paul said he heard that cassettes are making a comeback too. Gary said he heard that too. Paul said they use magnetic tape in studios still. Gary said he has maybe 150 mix tapes in his basement. He said what he would do was get a lot of music and make a cassette of the songs he liked. Paul said he made a bunch too but he didn't keep them. Gary said his wife would love to put them in the shredder. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said he still uses cassettes and listens to them when he's riding a bike. He said he's been doing it for years. Gary said there's a secret that will blow his mind. He said there's a thing called an app that lets him listen. He said he's really old school. Jon said Tommy has a system and it works for him. The caller said he can play it in the car if he wants to. Gary said the quality must be horrendous. Jon asked what kind of cassettes he uses. The guy said he uses regular TDK cassettes. He said they're getting harder and harder to find. He said they play at the wrong speed but he kind of likes that they run faster.
Gary said they used to record the show on cassette. He said somewhere along the way they found that they'd miss a moment when they flipped the cassette. He said they had a second cassette that was there just to catch the time when they flipped. Gary said they used to buy the cassettes in bulk and they were awful. He said that Tom came to them and talked about re-recording over the show. Gary said Howard said no way to that. Gary said if they had done that then they'd have no record of the show.
Jon asked the caller how he handles the tapes. Tommy said he hears the tape end and he'll go set them. Gary said he's living in the 80s. He said back then you could plug your radio into your VCR and tape it on the VCR. He said he could convert it to cassette from that. Tommy said it's much easier now that the show runs constantly. He said the show is shorter now so it's a little easier to do. Jon said this is the caller of the week. He said that's great stuff.
Gary asked Tommy if he has a Walkman from the 80s. Tommy said they're getting harder and harder to find. He said the quality is bad but they work. He said he uses ear plugs and goes. Jon said that he never left those days. Jon said that's a winner right there. Jon said that's dedication. Paul said it was nice of him to give him that caller of the week thing.
Jon took a call from a guy who said when Eric the Actor called in as Derek they were just cracking up. He said they all knew that it was Eric. He asked how they didn't lose it. Gary said they did. He said Eric just stayed in character. Jon said Eric really did think he was pulling one over on them. He said Derek was trying to pull one over on them. Paul said it was very pro wrestling of him to do that.
Jon brought up Bobo and what's been going on with him lately. Jon said he and Gary back him up in a way but so many people are against him. Paul said there is no one on the cast and characters that he doesn't like. He said he has no problem with Bobo. He said that he'd like to hear about some of the things that he brings up. He said it's not always bad.
Gary said he thinks that Bobo's problem is that there are so many fans who are super devoted to the show who they will never meet and Bobo thinks that his devotion is above everyone. He said there may be fans out there who are more devoted than even Bobo. He said they may never meet those fans.
Jon said he has the winner of the poll. He said it was ''Telling Johnny Fratto ''You know what to do'' to a former classmate of Eric's who wronged him.''
Jon said that there is a never ending list of Eric stuff. He said that they are closing out the week on Sternthology today. Jon wrapped up and ended the show around Noon.