Howard started the show talking about the amount of Baba Booeys at the PGA tournament over the weekend. He said they were even saying Tata Toothy. Howard said he thought Matt Lauer did a great job with the Brian Williams thing too but he has to get to the Baba Booeys.
Howard said he can't get to another page on his computer. He said maybe it's the mouse. He said he can't get to the Baba Booey page. Then he did. Howard said they have a computer where he can't get to the mouse. Gary said it's happening to all of their computers. Howard said this has been going on for 10 years now. He said he thinks he's had it. He said he may have to move to another company based on not being able to use a computer.
Howard said this isn't what he wanted to be doing. He said he's going to try to blow past this. Howard said this is from the PGA Tournament that took place in Washington state. Howard said one day there were 3 Baba Booeys and another day there were a ton. He said he was very disappointed one day when there were none. Howard said this Tata Toothy sounds like the guy was right next to the announcers. Howard played a clip of that one and the guy got out the Tata Toothy really loud. Howard asked who made the announcement that anyone who says Baba Booey should get a life. Gary said it's a guy who is a kicker for the Jacksonville Jaguars. He said if you yell that or Mashed Potatoes out then you should get a life.
Howard said they can evaluate a couple of these. They'll rate on a scale of 5. Howard played one where Rory McIlroy was hitting and a guy yelled out Baba Booey. Howard gave it a 2. Howard said it was a funny one though. Robin gave it a 3. Howard said they're rating on a scale of 5. Robin went with 2 then.
Howard played another one where a guy yelled out Baba Booey really loud. Howard gave it a 4.5. Robin gave it a 3.
Howard played another where he gave the guy a 4 and Robin a 3. Howard played one more and gave that one a 2. Robin gave it the same. Howard played one when Patrick Reed was hitting. Howard gave that a 3 and Robin said 3.5. In another one the guy yelled out Baba Booey pretty loud and Howard gave it a 4.5. Robin agreed. Howard had one more where Dustin Johnson was hitting and the guy got out a Baba Booey. Howard gave that a 3. Robin agreed. Howard said on Sunday there was one more. Howard played that one and gave it a 2.5. Robin gave it a 3. Howard said they all did nice work out there.
Howard played another clip from a baseball game when someone yelled out Baba Booey. Howard said it's hard to get them out at a game like that. Howard said he thought that they were going to start dragging people out of there but they haven't. Howard said it's good to see that they're not wasting their energy on that.
Howard said at a San Diego Padres game the announcer gave a Baba Booey. He said it in an unusual way so Robin asked if he even knows what it means. Howard said it doesn't matter.
Howard said he has a Tampa Bay Rays working in the Benjy Vortex into his rap. Howard played that one for Robin too. The guy was talking about the weather and he worked the vortex into that. Howard said he thinks the first guy who talked didn't know what the other guy was talking about.
Howard took a call from a guy who called himself Pocket so that led to Howard talking about how Michael Jackson's son doesn't call himself blanket anymore. He said he read that somewhere.
Howard said he quit smoking in his junior year of college. He said he hurt his ankle and managed to stay off the cigarettes even when he was just sitting around. He said he has friends who smoked in their 30s and 40s and they ended up quitting eventually and got cancer. He said that it's fucked up to get a death sentence from your cigarettes. He said that it's so dumb. Robin said they have some commercials where they show what can happen if you keep smoking. Howard said kids can't relate to those at all.
Howard said smoking is just so bad. He said it doesn't do anything for you. The caller said he quit for the last 4 or 5 days. He said he quit weed and cigarettes. He said today he had one and it felt kind of gross smoking it. He said he was wondering if he should do it occasionally. Howard said no. He said that it can only get worse. He said you have to quit and just quit cold turkey. Howard said that you have to get off it.
Fred said the new name for Blanket is ''Biggie'' from what he's reading. Robin said they're so confused. Howard said that those kids are confused. He said he hates to say this but he thinks in this case it may have been healthy to not be around Michael Jackson. Howard said the guy was so odd. He said he only had one conversation with him and he's never seen anything so strange or scary. Howard said never. He said that fucking guy was so out there.
Howard said Brian went on the Today show with Matt Lauer and he talked about what went wrong. Howard said if this happened to him he would go to his psychiatrist and talk about why he did this. Howard said he'd have to know what's going on. Howard said the interview that Brian did with Matt showed that he's so out of touch and arrogant. Howard said he just fucked up his second chance. Howard said he can't watch this guy read anything now. Howard said he is clearly fucked up. Howard said that Brian Williams appears to be a crazy person. He said that's how he came off in that interview.
Howard said what Brian Williams should have done was gone to a professional to help him with a message. Howard said that this interview was a train wreck. He said Matt did nothing wrong. He said that he just asked him simple questions. He said it was like Katie Couric and Sarah Palin. Howard said all Brian had to do was tell Matt that what he did was something he was in denial over. Howard said he could have said he lied and lied because he wanted to be something more than he is. Howard said he could have said he wanted to be the hippest guy in the room. Howard said he could have said he wanted to be interesting and funny and exaggerated his story. He could have said it was the dumbest move in his career. Howard said he could have said he was stupid and dumb and he hopes America can accept his apology. Howard said he could have said that 20 different ways. Robin said she thinks he still would have had a problem. Howard said not as much of a problem as he has right now.
Howard said he has some audio to play. He said it's not that tough a deal to make this work. Howard said NBC must have gotten sucked back into it too. Like the Benjy Vortex.
Howard played a clip of Brian Williams talking about how the past few months have been torture. He said he listened back to things in his career and the statements he made he owns. Howard said this was first when he started craziness. Howard said he knows things that he said that aren't true. He said he should just own up to it. He said he owes it to his family.
Howard played more of Brian talking about what happened and how he got sloppier and said things that weren't true. Howard said he's recounting what he said but he appears to be a crazy homeless person talking to himself. He said he just can't bring himself not to be the honest anchorman. Howard said it's killing him. Howard said if he's Lester Holt he must be thinking he's got it made right now. Howard said he's going to be honest Lester.
Howard played more of Matt Lauer asking Brian about his lies about the helicopter story. Matt asked Brian if he knew he was lying. Brian says he told the story correctly for years. Brian said he was not trying to mislead people. Robin asked what he's talking about. Howard said this is when he knew he was crazy. In the clip Matt asks Brian if he knew the story he was telling was not true. Brian said no. He said it came from a place of a bad choice of words. Brian said he never intended to. He said it got mixed up and turned around in his mind. Robin said these were supposed to be first person accounts of what happened. Howard said this is when he knew the guy was crazy. He said he doesn't know the gravity of the situation.
Howard played more audio of Brian talking about his ego getting the better of him when he told that story. He said he wanted to appear better than he was. He said he said things that were wrong. He said it's so clear to him now that he said things that were wrong. Brian said it wasn't from a place where he was trying to use his job to mislead. Howard said his ego is so big. Fred played the ''Shame!'' clips from Game of Thrones after that.
Howard said Brian really needs to get help. He said the guy he's talking about is him. It's inside of him. Robin said it came from a bad place. Howard said it was breathtakingly stupid.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard is so right about this. He said he should be a consultant. Howard said the guy was on top of the world and he had it made. He said that you have to look good and he has that deep voice. Howard said it's a 20 minute read that he has to do and they pay him $10 million a year. Howard said a game show host is a harder gig. Howard said he has spoken to many people in the news game and they say that Brian hated going out on location.
The caller said this is like what Michael Richards and Bill Clinton had to do. He said that they did it short and sweet and that's all they needed to do. He said he would call Howard and ask how to handle the whole thing. Howard said he's not sure what was going on there. Howard said Matt should interview the executives to find out what they were thinking. Howard said someone should write a book about this. He said he'd love to read the behind the scenes handling of this complete eruption. Robin said it's like NBC doesn't know that he's still imploding. Howard said the guy needs help. He said they should get him help before putting him on MSNBC. Howard said the guy is out of his mind. Howard said he wishes he could interview the guy.
Howard let the caller go and played a prank call Jim Breuer did to a Chinese restaurant as Brian Johnson from AC/DC. He placed his order by singing all of the items he was ordering. The guy taking the order just went with it. They went to break after that.
Howard said that the Brian Johnson before the break was played by Jim Breuer. Howard said that he meant to say that.
Howard said that Lady Gaga was really good at the Songwriter's hall of fame. Howard said Gary told him that Lady Gaga was riveting at the event. Howard said they were inducting Linda Perry into the hall of fame. Gary said Lady Gaga is a really amazing performer. Howard said he thought that Linda was married to that Sara Gilbert from The View. Howard said maybe not. Gary looked it up and said they are married.
Howard said Father's day happened over the weekend. He said one of his daughters lives in the city so they went out and had a nice time. Robin asked if he cares about Father's day. Howard said it's a good excuse to get together with his daughter. Howard said he sent his old man a gift. He said that he doesn't go to see him on that day because of the traffic. Howard said he just won't do it. He said his parents don't care about those days anyway. He said he gets them gifts though.
Howard said Sour Shoes left a really weird message on Fathers's day. Howard said he does great impressions and he's funny as hell but he sees himself as a little baby. Howard said he'll bring a coloring book with him and he's 37 years old. Howard said it's no act. Howard said he won't answer questions in a regular voice. He said the baby voice really creeps him out. Howard said he'd love to write a movie about a serial killer who talks in a baby voice. Howard said that's how creepy it is.
Howard said he gets really creeped out by that voice. He said he wasn't going to play this message because it creeps him out so much. Howard played the clip and Sour was doing the baby voice wishing everyone a happy father's day. Howard said it's creeping him out. Howard said he thinks he lives with his parents because he's like a child inside. Howard said that must be his inner voice. Howard said he's gone back to the green room when he's there and he'll talk in that baby voice. Howard said they didn't play the music in that message either. Howard said Sour did it all.
Howard said Jon Leiberman did a story from Sour's house and he's not sure if they saw his bedroom or not. Howard said that Jon is doing an Embedded with Sour this week. Howard wanted to give him some tips on what he'd like to find out.
Howard said Seth MacFarlane is coming in today. He said that he's a really funny guy. Robin and Howard spent a minute on that while they were waiting for Leiberman to come in.
Jon Leiberman came in so Howard told him that he's thinking that when he talks to him that he should ask if he sees himself as an infant. Howard asked if his bedroom is like a crib. Jon said he was there about a year ago and he has a bed like a 6 year old would have. He said he has action figures in his room and he does the voices of the figures fighting and things. Howard said he did that when he was a little boy. Jon said he does it for hours at a time.
Howard said when Sour talks to him in the green room he talks in that baby voice and he gets weirded out. Howard asked how far that goes. Jon said that if you spend a few hours with him you'll get to the real Sour Shoes. He said it's really not an act though. He said he can stay with it for hours and hours. He said the real Sour sounds like a 37 year old man who can have a conversation. Howard said he's heard that voice a couple of times. He said he's most comfortable talking like a baby. Sour said even when he talks to his parents he does that. He said that his parents are successful people too. He said they love him unconditionally though.
Gary said one of the guys there said that his entire back seat is filled with stuffed animals. Jon Leiberman said that he has a lot of them at his home too. He said he also records his appearances on audio tapes and he keeps them stacked up on the other side of the room from his stuffed animals.
Jon said that Sour spends time with autistic kids. He said that he will also practice mimicking voices. He said you can play him a tape and he'll do the voice after just a short time.
Howard asked Jon about Brian Williams and what he thought of that. Jon said he has to credit Matt for not taking it easy on Brian Williams. Howard said he just asked basic questions though. He said it wasn't that tough.
Howard asked when the embedded thing is happening. Jon said he's going out this Wednesday and he'll have the special ready in a few weeks.
Howard said that Jon looks like he's ready to play golf. He let Jon go and Fred played one of his rap songs. Howard said Jon should apologize for that song.
Howard asked what she finds funny. Fred said that there's a game called Minecraft and kids watch a guy talking about Minecraft and she'll go into her room and watch that for hours. Fred said this guy has a series of videos he makes and he's a millionaire from talking about making the game. Howard asked how he makes the money. Fred said it's somehow through YouTube and Minecraft. He said he finds the videos mind numbing but his daughter loves them.
Howard asked Fred if he ever does his Nicole Bass voice for her. Fred said he hasn't but he can make her laugh. He said he does the voice of the dog and he can make her laugh doing that. Howard said that's very creative. He said she steals the impression and she cracks everyone up.
Howard played a clip of Sal's son talking about what annoys him about Sal. Aiden said that it's Sal's singing.
Howard said they have Jon Hein's daughter talking about how she's annoyed by her father not letting her listen to the music she wants to listen to. Fred said that it's the opposite of what happens in his car. He said his daughter gets to listen to what she wants to and he's not a fan of some of that stuff.
Howard played clips of Sal singing. Howard said Sal really thinks he can sing. Howard said that he met Michael Buble and he was a really fun guy to hang with. Howard said he's funny and sarcastic. He said he's an intelligent guy. Howard said he has a lot more going on than he thought he did. He said he's a pretty good guy. Howard said he was a guest judge on America's Got Talent and he fit right in.
Howard said they edit out a lot on America's Got Talent. He said they just want the show to move along. He said they don't give a fuck about his opinion. Howard said they have like 100,000 bad acts and they don't even show those anymore. Howard said this year they had a high amount of good talent so they wanted to show it all.
Howard said they went out and asked people what the worst thing their father ever did was. Howard played some clips of people talking about their dad leaving them and things like that. The people on the street had a lot of different stories about what their dads did like stealing money and jiggling the fat on their stomachs and things like that.
Howard said (fake) Charlie Sheen left them a message. He said that the Jeff the Drunk Lump called in last week and it turns out he was out partying with Charlie Sheen. Howard played that clip of fake Charlie and The Lump partying together.
Robin said that Charlie Sheen is back to going off on his ex Denise Richards. Robin read some of the comments that Charlie has been saying about Denise. Robin had some comments that she said to Charlie but they were all nice but may have been said sarcastically.
Howard said Chris Wilding took Richard Simmons voice and did a phony phone call with that. Howard played the clip and Chris called a radio show and played Richard singing a song for the host. The host said he didn't know what that was and hung up. He took another call and it was Chris again with the clips of Richard singing. He did that a few times. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said he bought a house in Florida and he just wants to live down there. He said that's his goal. He said he's spent a lot of time there and he loves it. He said he doesn't discuss it that much but he does love it. Howard said he even likes it in the summer. He said he has been there this month and it's just not hot enough up there for him. He said in Florida he's happiest when it's hot down there. Howard said they went to dinner in New York City and it was like going into a refrigerator. Howard said Beth told him that she had a feeling it might be cold. Howard said it's always cold. He told her to bring a wrap. Howard said she said she wasn't bringing it and as soon as they walk in she was shivering. Howard said then he's miserable. Howard said he had her wearing his jacket. He said he wanted to be warm. Howard said she knew not to take it because then he'd be miserable. Howard said she's very smart that way. Howard said he is a horrible person. He said he really is.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he sent an email last year about why its time to take a dive from America's Got Talent. Howard said he never thought he'd be in this position. He said his contract is ending there at Sirius and the past 10 years have been great there. He said he'd give it a ''noine''. Howard said he's got the America's Got Talent job too. Howard said that he's not the first to say it's time to end it. Howard said that they have asked him to re-sign over there. Howard said he doesn't comment much on his contract ending there. He said he's confused about what to do. He said he has a lot of people coming at him with different opportunities. He said he wants to do something in the next 5 years that makes him happy. He said he doesn't want to work a lot so he doesn't want to do 50 things. Howard said his agent comes at him with this stuff and he doesn't know what to do. He said that he wants to do everything but he can't. He said that there is a company that offered him something he'd like to do but he's not sure he can do that. Howard said in his head he wants to do them all but he doesn't think that would be best. Robin said that the doors are open and he wouldn't have said no to them years ago. Howard said there are two doors that are open now and he knows he'd love doing it and the audience would love it. Howard said everyone would be thrilled. He said he also works there and at America's Got Talent. He said he's not sure how much more a person can do. Howard said he wants more free time too. He said part of him wants to leave everything and part wants to grab everything and do it all. Howard said it's like being put in a candy store as a kid.
The caller said he addressed America's Got Talent a year ago. He said if you listen to his rationale it would be easy to fix. He said that he has a lot to offer them and he doesn't have to do America's Got Talent to do that. He said that he's gone long enough on America's Got Talent to justify leaving it. Howard said he has to see. He said he likes that gig. Robin asked about the new opportunity. Howard said he doesn't think he can do this and the other thing. Howard said this radio show takes up 4-5 hours a day. Robin said she has no idea what this venture is. Howard said Robin would like it.
Howard said NBC wants to know what he's doing. He said if they need the answer now then it's going to be no because he has to figure out what he's doing. He said he's trying to figure out his fate. He said he can't figure out his own fate.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was thinking about the painting he gave to David Letterman's wife and if she has said anything yet. Howard said Regina sent him a nice note. He said she wrote him a beautiful note about that painting. Howard said that he and Dave had a relationship because of his TV show. He doesn't think they'll be getting together. He said Dave would have to instigate it. Howard said a friend reached out and they were going to get together but it didn't happen. Howard said he doesn't want to be the guy bothering Dave. He said he would go to dinner if Dave asked him. He said it's up to Dave. He doesn't bother people. He said it would be great if he wanted to get together though.
Howard said he doesn't think Dave wants to go out. He said he has asked people to go out and after a while the other person has to reciprocate. Howard said he's really not good at that stuff. The caller said Dave says he doesn't drink. Howard said he drank with Bill Murray on his show. The caller said that had to be fake. Howard said he doesn't know about that.
Howard said he had a couple come over on Saturday night and the woman wanted to do shots. Howard said he doesn't do shots. He said that he might have a glass of wine. The woman said he had to drink but he didn't want to. He said it's crazy. He said he told her that he's not fun Howard. He said he just wants to sit in a room and paint. He said he beats himself up over this stuff and it's no fun. Howard said he once painted something for Robin and it went right in the garbage. He said Beth asked him why he did that. He said he just wasn't comfortable with it. Howard said he saved Robin from that. Howard said she's never getting one. He said that he wasn't going to give Regina Letterman that one that he gave her but Beth convinced him to do that. He said that everyone was giving Dave a gift in those final weeks. Howard said he didn't want to insult her. He said he's not happy with it. Howard said Regina said she liked it though. The caller said he wasn't sure it was going to make it to her. Howard said he was afraid of that too.
Howard said he had a friend who asked him to draw his portrait. Howard said he told the guy he's not a goof draftsman. Howard said the guy asked him to do it over and over. Howard said he wanted to take a picture of him and he did that. He said for his birthday he sat down and wrote him a card. Howard said he tried drawing his portrait. Howard said he sent it to the guy and he was miserable. He said the guy loves it but he didn't feel comfortable doing that kind of thing. Robin said she's not sure what Howard is looking to do that's not happening. Howard said he wants to be as good as Caspar Friedrich. He said that he's not going to give up but he's still learning. Howard said he's learning how to interpret what he sees and put it on a page. He said he's not there yet. Robin said she has to look up this Friedrich guy. Howard said she should.
Howard said the greatest painter was this guy Turner. Howard said he was amazing. Howard said at 16 the guy was amazing. He said you have to look him up too.
Howard said he's reading a book called Fear of Art. He said it's about the inner voice that makes you afraid of everything. Howard said that voice drives him and makes him work harder. Howard said he ignores that mean man in his head. Howard said he says ''fuck you'' and says he can do it. Howard said he gives up.
Howard played the clip of Shuli talking to Underdog about the Magna Carta. Underdog was talking about how it's the 800th anniversary of the signing of the Magna Carta. She sounded very happy about that. Robin said she's all alone. Howard said she's excited though.
Howard said this was weird because Shuli was trying to coax her into a song and she said no. Howard played audio of Shuli trying to get her to sing and Underdog Lady gave him a history lesson instead. She told him that the song ''My Country Tis of Thee'' didn't exist in 1215 AD. She said no thank you when Shuli asked her to sing it.
Howard played a clip of Underdog talking about a Mermaid parade that she was going to be part of. Howard said it's pretty cool. He said it sounds good.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that it's been 10 years at Sirius now. She said the day to day thing with his fans is what put him outside of the box. Mariann said that's what makes it so unique. She said no other celebrity has that. Howard said he knows that. He said he has a bead on it.
Mariann also said that Brian Williams was a dick to them when Howard was at Letterman so fuck him. Mariann also asked for an update on Maple the cat. Howard said she's so great. Howard said there's nothing aggressive about her at all. Howard said she just loves people. Mariann said that if Robin takes her she should be the one taking care of her, not other people. Robin said she takes care of all of her cats. Howard said someone wanted Maple and two of her kittens. Robin said she has been in touch with Beth about Maple. She said she's waiting to see.
Mariann said that she saw Jim Carrey's art studio on Comedians in Cars and it's incredible. Howard said he has seen that studio. Howard said Jim sends him video clips through email. Howard said Jim is a great artist. He said Jim loves to paint. He said they have that in common. Howard let Mariann go after that.
Howard said he and Jim were going to do a movie together but that didn't happen. He said that he doesn't think he'll ever do another movie. Robin said he will do another movie some day. She said he'll end up doing a role like Robert Duvall in The Judge.
Howard said he was listening to Angry Alice talking to Shuli and she's just so down. He said she sounds so upset about her living situation. Howard played some audio of Alice talking about how down she is and how she's trying to get out of where she lives. Howard said she was embarrassed to have them come visit her. They wanted to do an Embedded with her. Alice said that there's the smell of cigarettes in her apartment too. She said every place she gets someone wants to fuck with her and make her angry all the time. Howard said she doesn't sound good. Howard said she hates the people she's around. Howard played another clip of Alice talking about who she hates. Howard said she has a lot of problems with the neighbors. Howard said the happiest wack packers are the retarded ones. He said Wendy and Gary seem to be the happiest. Robin said she's seen them when they're down though. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked who is doing that song. Fred said it's Adam Levine. Howard said he loves that. He said he felt he was singing it to Robin. Howard said Robin would love to bang him. Robin said she's not sure if he's her type. Howard said he is.
Howard said that Seth MacFarlane is there. He said that's a genius right there. Howard asked how he's doing. Seth said he's good. He said it's been like 20 years since he was there last. Howard said he has the new Ted 2 movie coming out. Howard said it looks even edgier. Seth thanked Robin for pumping his cowboy movie ''A Million Ways to Die in the West.'' Seth said he has to thank Robin for that. Howard said Seth made like $500 million with Ted. Howard asked if it's hard because everyone expects it to happen again. Seth said that it was supposed to be a smaller film. He said that Ted had a budget of like $60 million. Howard asked if it's that expensive because of the CGI. Seth said it is. He said that it was just 5 sets without the CGI.
Howard said Seth wanted the talking bear but he also wanted the technology that they have in these other movies like Avatar. Howard asked how he knows how to work all of that stuff when he's a first time director. Seth said it wasn't that challenging since he was in animation for more than 10 years already. He said the basic film making thing was new to him. Howard said it's the same concept from cartoons. Seth said that it was the film 101 stuff that he had to learn. He said the bear stuff was the easy part for him.
Howard said Seth got a job at 9 at a local newspaper after drawing something for them. He said from that time until he went to college he held that job. Howard said he was the local cartoonist. Seth said it was called Walter Crouton. Howard said he had a cartoon called Pug when he was a kid but no one wanted that. He said that the U was the nose and the P and G were the eyes. He said no one was going to pick that up. Howard said Pug was a little boy. He didn't know what a dog was.
Howard asked Seth how he got that job. Seth said it was a very small town of like 600 people. He said it was so small he was the only one who could draw. He said he grew up in Kent, Connecticut. Howard said his parents were hippies and they grew up in a log cabin. Seth said he did. He said his father built two homes and they built them with the techniques from 300 years ago. He said it seemed normal to him at the time.
Howard said Seth wrote a joke at 9 and it was so great for a 9 year old. He said that he wrote something about ''Can I have fries with that'' with a guy at the altar in a church. Howard said that's great because it pissed off the local priest. Seth said he didn't set out to piss anyone off. He said that's just his sense of humor. Seth said that nothing his mother ever saw on Family Guy shocked her. He said that she told him a story that shocked him. Howard asked if she jerked off a dog. Seth said that he can't tell that story on the air. He said that she told the story in front of a bunch of people at Thanksgiving. He said that she told them that it was a neighbor's dog. Howard said that must rock his world. Seth said that was as shocking as anything she had ever said. He said that she had a vicious sense of humor so it wasn't that shocking really. He said it must have been a dare she did. He said she just said ''It was a different time...''
Howard said Seth gave them his Walter Crouton cartoon and they have it up on HowardStern.com. Howard said he got paid to do that at 9 too. Howard asked if it was a big thing to have a job at that age. Seth said it wasn't that shocking. He said he's never really done anything that gave him confidence. Howard said he's done so much though. Howard said that he's working with the CGI stuff in Ted and Ted 2. Howard said it must be difficult. Seth said that he's able to articulate that stuff to a team of people and they can do their jobs better than he can do his job.
Howard said what they did with Ted was have them interact with Ted on a TV screen and he'd work Ted through a device. Seth said with most movies with CGI you have an actor on camera and then a voice actor and you don't have that person there every day. Seth said they did it all live so they could improvise. He said you can only do that if you're in the same room. Howard said that's a smart way to do it. He said it's more organic. Seth said he feels like they were the first to do that with a CG character. He said he was the one acting and they didn't have to get a big star too.
Howard asked if they block everything out like on a cartoon storyboard. Seth said you don't really need to do that. He said there is one scene where Ted is driving a car and you have to know exactly what's going to happen. Howard asked if they ever forget to film something and don't get coverage. Seth said they did that in a courtroom scene. He said they forgot to film the jury. Howard asked if he feels like an idiot when that happens. Seth said ''Yep.'' He said that there is something you'll forget when you shoot those long days.
Howard asked Seth how long it took to shoot the film. Seth said it was like 65-70 days. Howard said that's pretty long. Seth said maybe it is. He said he's only made 3 films so he's not sure.
Howard said that Mark Wahlberg must be working a lot so he must have to find time to do a film like that. Seth said he comes in and just does it. He said he's great in it. Howard asked if he's close to Mark. Seth said they will hang occasionally. Howard asked if it's tough to hang with because he has so many kids. Seth said they have gone out for drinks a couple of times. He said when you see Mark in a scene without the bear there he's really good. He said he's talking to something.
Howard said he read that they shot Ted 2 in Boston and then Seth decides to move the production to L.A. Seth said part of that was that they did sound stage work from there on out. He said that you can do that anywhere. He said he had been going for about 3 years without a break and he needed to get that break. He just wanted to go home. He said it was fine in Boston but he wanted to be home. He said he had no break between the two movies. He said he was having a hard time with that psychologically.
Seth said he went close to 3 years without a break and he got sick. He said he passed out in an elevator. He said he had to find some balance. He said he saw it happening again so he didn't want it to happen again.
Howard said Seth gets to do all of this stuff he wants to do and he forgets about his own physical fitness. Seth said you have to take care of yourself.
Seth said he went to do Ted 2 and he left Family Guy to his co-producers. He said that he trusts them to take care of that. He said he puts all of his attention into one thing at a time.
Howard asked if there was big satisfaction when Ted hit because FOX had turned it down for him. He said that FOX should have just green lit it. He said they rejected the script. Seth said he took it to Universal instead. He said they got it. Howard asked if FOX thought that they were assholes for turning it down. Seth said he doesn't think so. Howard said that someone was fired for not getting Ted. Seth said he's not sure why the guy was fired. He said he has no clue about why he was fired. Howard said that he'd be like ''fuck those guys'' if he was Seth. Seth said that it's an R rated comedy about a talking bear. He said that it wasn't like it was a crazy reason to pass. He said they weren't jerks about it. Robin asked if the guy who was fired was the guy who said no. Seth said he believes so. Howard said that's so great if he was fired over that. Seth said he has no idea what the politics were.
Howard said Seth has a lot of fans and you'd think that the executives would get that. Seth said that it was around the time Old School and Knocked Up were out. He said it was all PG-13 movies and R rated movies weren't making money. He said things were just starting to change around then. Seth said that it was a bit much for them to take.
Howard asked if he obsesses over box office. Seth said not really. He said the thing that gets under his skin is when something does good and they don't say it did good. He said the western made money. He said they did well for what they spent. He said that he wanted to make something different with that and that's what he did. Howard asked if it takes him a long time to get over the fact that the story wasn't told correctly. Seth said that he had a great time making that movie. He said it was one of the best interactions he's had performance wise with Charlize Theron. He said he went into it inexperienced. He said it's very exciting to do it and knowing that it can fail is invigorating. Seth said if you're with someone who is so experienced you can feed off of that.
Howard said Charlize Theron said that she will remember working with Seth on her death bed. Howard said the rumor is that they were romantic. Seth said she's a gorgeous woman and a fantastic hang. Howard asked if she is a former girlfriend of his. Seth said no. He said they're just close friends. Seth said that they met in a project. Howard said you can fall in love doing that. Seth said you don't want to be the director who falls for the cast though. Howard said she's fantastic though. Seth said she can do better. Howard said that's an honest appraisal.
Howard said he did Private Parts with Betty Thomas and he loved her. Howard said he was in love with her. He said she was teaching him so much and you can't help but have feelings for someone like that. Seth said that in that situation it was beyond that. He said that he's going to be friends with her for life.
Howard said Seth hosted the Oscar's and he thought he did a good job. Howard said the rule is that you can't make fun of those people on their big night. Howard said Seth did. Robin said he did the song about seeing the boobs and things like that. Howard said if they hire a guy like Seth who is known for that stuff they should expect it. Howard asked if it was a mistake to do it. Seth said no. He said he'd do it again. He said he had a great time doing it and they were great afterward. He said that he had a few drinks before going out there so he was fine and not nervous.
Howard said that when he does a cartoon he's hidden. Howard said to go out in front of a crowd he'd think he'd shit his pants. Seth said the western was more scary than the Oscars. He said you do have to be on your toes a bit. Howard asked if he has a group of writers in the back helping him out. Seth said he did. He said he doesn't care about the backlash after it. He said it all seems to come from the press. Seth said everyone had a great time and they were all cool with it.
Howard asked Seth about his life now and if he's dating. Seth said he works like 90 hours a week so he doesn't have a lot of time. Howard said that he holds great parties at his house though. Howard read about some of the people who come to his parties. Howard mentioned that Ryan Seacrest was there. Seth said he doesn't know how these people get in. He said that if Howard showed up he'd be in too. Seth said he does them a couple of times a year. He said they're fun for a number of reasons. Howard said he read that his house was transformed into a winter wonderland. He said they had an ice bar and winter coats for people to wear. He said that Seth performed show tunes with Charlize conducting an orchestra. Howard asked what that costs. Seth said that he'd have to ask his accountant.
Seth said that when you work this many hours it all ends up being bundled into two nights a year. He said that it's good for people to hear an orchestra. He said that doesn't happen so much anymore. Seth said it's good to bring people to a place where they can hear that.
Howard said Seth can hear a song once and sing it or play it back. Seth said it depends on the song. Howard asked about doing Sinatra songs. Seth said he does that. Howard said he's doing a real concert and real songs. Seth said yeah. Howard said that's crazy to him with so many other things going on. Howard said he's on tour now. Seth said he goes out and does that. He said what he does is guest perform with symphony orchestras around the country. He said that he has old MGM charts that you can only play with an orchestra.
Howard said when he grew up rock music was his life. Howard said Seth was into big bands. He asked if people found that odd. Seth said he went through his top 40 phase. He said there's a complexity and a richness in it and he got spoiled by that.
Howard asked Seth about getting into drawing and how that all came about. Seth said he would draw at the age of 2. He said they were crude but that's what he was doing. Howard asked about bringing back the Flintstones and what happened with that. Seth said that they didn't think it was working. He said that he thought it would work but once they started doing it then it wasn't working. He said that he figured that Fred Flintstone was Peter Griffin so he's already doing that. He said that he tried to change Fred into an Archie Bunker and it didn't work. He said that they ended up shelving it.
Howard asked if it's true he can recite the lines from Star Trek like Jason Alexander said he can. Seth said he can't do them all but he knows some of it. Howard said that's a special skill. Howard said he can't do that. Seth said he must have been out getting laid. Howard said that's the thing, he wasn't getting laid. He said he probably saw every Star Trek episode 50 times. Howard asked Seth to do a line from the Tribble episode. Seth ran through a couple of Kirk lines that he was paraphrasing.
Howard asked if it was a thrill for him to work with Shatner on the Oscars. Seth said it was. He said his dad loved Star Trek too. He said his dad took him to some conventions in high school and college.
Howard said that Seth went to the Rhode Island School of Design and that's a really good school. Howard asked if he'd like to have kids of his own some day. Seth said he would. Howard said he read that he's afraid of running over his own kids in the driveway. Seth said he inherited his father's absentmindedness. Seth said his dad once spent the better part of an afternoon putting up a screen door and he saw someone stealing rocks off of their front yard and he ran right through the screen door.
Howard asked Seth if he built a Star Trek replica out of cardboard in his room. Seth said he seems to remember doing that. He said that may have been like 2 weeks ago.
Howard asked Seth about going to art school and how they teach you how to draw Disney cartoons. Seth said they do teach styles like that. Howard asked if he didn't want to work for Disney because he heard they were working like slaves. Seth said that the Simpson's had just come out around that time and they were doing things differently. He said he was laughing at that stuff.
Seth said he went to work for Hanna Barbera when he got out of school. He said that they let him do short films over there. He said it was fantastic. He said he was doing that and getting paid like $600 a week. Seth said so much of his career has been luck. He said it just falls into place.
Howard asked if it's true that Seth disguises his voice when he orders food just in case they recognize him and don't like him. Howard said he does the same thing when he does anything. Howard said you never know who isn't going to like you. Seth said he doesn't want to upset anyone who is making his food.
Howard went through a list of people who Seth has been linked to. Howard named a couple of women who weren't so famous. Howard said that he used to date the Khaleesi. Howard said he loves her. Seth said she is one of the finest people on the planet. Howard asked why he wouldn't stay with her. Seth said that long distance is very hard. Howard said that's convenient too. He said you can blame it on the long distance if you don't like the person. Howard said Seth alludes to the fact that he was kind of geeky and didn't get laid. Seth said he didn't get laid that much. He said he lost his virginity around 20. Howard said he's shocked by that. Howard said Seth is the ultimate nerd. Howard said Clay Aiken is a big fan of Seth's. Seth said his life would be so much easier if he were gay.
Howard asked Seth about some of the other women that he's dated. Howard said that he thinks he should have dated Charlize. Howard said that Mila Kunis didn't appear in Ted 2. Seth said that the first version of Ted 2 was Ted and John shipping pot across the country. He said then We're the Millers came out and they had to change the story. He said they threw out the story and came up with something new. He said it's completely different than the first one. Seth said that Ted is trying to prove his person hood in the movie. He said that he wants to get married and he has to prove that he's a person.
Howard asked Seth if it comes to mind that the first one made 500 million and he has to make it so the new one will do that. Seth said that he loves slapstick as much as the next guy and he likes the smaller conversations. Howard said in one scene Mark Wahlberg knocks over all of the sperm in a sperm bank. Seth said that's a metaphor.
Howard said when a movie hits 500 million what happens in his life. Howard asked who calls him to tell him they're on track to make that kind of money. Seth said it's his agent Ari Emanuel. Howard asked if he tells him that his life has changed. Seth said there are certain practical things that you do. He said you get a nicer house, car and maybe avoided the airports. Howard said it must be a relief that he's pulled this off and he can make more movies. Seth said that the financial victory is that people wanted to see it. He said that's what satisfies you.
Howard asked if he bought a screen door for his dad after that. Seth laughed. Howard said he must get some big benefit when he owns a piece of the movie. Seth said that it is a shared pot. Howard said Ari must know how to get a good deal. He asked if the money trickles in. Seth said it does. Seth said he doesn't exactly know how much he got from that movie. He said he'd imagine that it's in the ballpark of maybe 30 million. Howard said that's a disappointment. Seth said he's not sure about that. Howard said Ari has to work harder for him. Seth said he really has no clue.
Howard said the movie Ted 2 is coming out on June 26th. Howard said Seth won't be sitting by the phone waiting for the box office results though. Seth said that's correct. He said he gets these long emails explaining the breakdown of what they're tracking for but at the end of the email they say that you really can't predict this stuff.
Robin asked if he goes and watches with the audience. Seth said it can be fun to do that. He said no one knows you're there. He said that you see how people are reacting. Howard said he'd take chicks with him. Seth asked if it's all about scoring. Howard said it is at the end of the day. He said he's not sure what else there is to life.
Howard asked Seth what he's doing next. Seth said he doesn't have anything lined up right now. Howard asked if he'll have something just come to him while he's in the shower. Seth said they do. He said while he should be jacking off in the shower something funny will come to him. Howard asked Seth if he goes through the funny ideas and he comes up with the one funny thing that he thinks will work does he write it down. Seth said he does. He said sometimes he'll go to someone with that idea. He said the most basic things can be done. He said it can be Ted or Howard the Duck. He said that show Last Man on Earth is something that has been tried but they're usually terrible. He said this show is being done successfully. Howard said he has read ton of scripts that start out great but then they turn terrible halfway through. Howard asked how the script writing thing works. Seth told Howard how they do that and how you write sample scripts and wait for them to be approved.
Robin asked if Seth works a schedule. Seth said his whole day is shifted. He said he starts late and works late.
Howard said he has a whole movie worked out in his head based on a guy who banged the Khaleesi. Howard said Seth is Ted in Ted 2. Howard said it opens on June 26th everywhere. Howard said he will be dating Clay Aiken soon. Seth said that he may just say screw it and get himself a handful of Clay. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he's not sure what's on the top 5 anymore. He said he hasn't been keeping up. Howard said number 5 was Jason Derulo. Walk the Moon was at 4. Fetty Wap was at number 3. Number 2 was Taylor Swift. Number one was Wiz Khalifa.
Howard said Taylor got upset with Apple streaming. Howard said that there are streaming services and Apple is going to be doing their own service. Howard said Apple sees that people are paying and they're getting in on it. Howard said Apple has had a good relationship with artists until now. Howard said that Taylor Swift is upset because they're not going to pay the artists for that free month. Howard said that she's upset and rightly so. Howard said Apple can't dictate when they pay the artists. Howard said that Sirius still had to pay the artists when they only had 400,000 subscribers. Howard said that he thinks it's a fair argument on Taylor's side.
Howard said that Taylor is saying that she's doing pretty well but for someone else who has a hit song in the top 5 they're saying that he won't get paid if they're offering free service. Robin said she has to get involved because of her position. Howard said he's a fan of her being into hot pants. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said he has audio of Al Sharpton saying ''cunt'' by accident. Howard played that quick clip when Sharpton was reporting on a story about the missing convicts.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who asked why he didn't let him talk to Seth. He said he has a great idea. He said he'd like to lend him his voice. Howard said it's getting old with him calling in and asking for acting world. Howard said that was Eric the Actor's thing. Howard said Jeff is getting a bit boring when he does that. Howard said it's happening a lot. Jeff said it's really not. Robin said he's calling in and just asking for work a lot. Howard said he's turning into a nudge. Howard said not everyone is looking for him to be an actor. Howard told Jeff to have a little self awareness. Jeff said JD dropped the ball on Saturday. Howard said he thinks it's getting sad for him. He said he can't do this on his show. Howard said he's putting it out there as a self awareness thing.
Jeff got back to JD when Howard asked what he thinks about all of that. Jeff said someone yelled out Sour Shoes and JD didn't get that. JD said he can't watch every fucking thing. Jeff said someone yelled it out. JD asked what time. Jeff said it was like 2:30 or maybe 3.
Howard asked Robin if she wants to talk to Jeff's lump. Robin said of course. Howard had him on the phone and asked why he stays on Jeff the Drunk. The Lump said that he is stuck with what he does. He said he's thinking about transitioning into a cyst. He said he may get him something that rhymes with schmancer. Jeff said that's not funny. Howard asked Jeff what kind of interesting things are going on in his life. Jeff said nothing at all happens in his fucking life. He said nothing happens every fucking day. Howard asked what he watched on TV. Jeff said no one would tune in to watch that.
Howard asked Jeff when he woke up today. Jeff said 6:30. He said he got up and had coffee. Howard said this is way more interesting than saying he wants to work for Seth MacFarlane. The Lump said he finds it exciting when Jeff shits his pants once in a while. Jeff said he finds it not exciting when he goes out to be on Eric Andre's show and they don't pay him nothing. The Lump said that he's just a lump and he's not Eric Andre. Jeff said he knows it's Eric. The Lump said he's just a lump. Howard asked if Jeff worked on Eric's show. Jeff said he did. Howard asked why he didn't ask what he was going to get paid. The Lump said that he was so drunk he thought he was going on Jay Leno's show.
Shuli came in and explained what this was all about. He said Eric did a comedy show and they threw Jeff $50 to do 2 minutes on stage. Jeff said he flew all the way out to California. Shuli asked if he paid for the flight. Jeff said ''What the fuck Shuli?'' Shuli said they flew him out there and they paid him 50 bucks. The Lump said that he's lucky they didn't throw him out a window.
Jeff said he won't call him ''no fuckin' more!'' Shuli said now he's going to get calls from Jeff for the rest of today. Then he'll be back to the somber Jeff in a couple of days. The Lump said that if Jeff stops calling he'll continue to call. Howard let The Lump get back to Jeff.
Shuli said that Jeff has one arm and they sent him that sex doll but he can't use it with one arm. Howard said they needed like 2 or 3 guys to lift that thing. Howard said that maybe he could put it on a chair or something. Howard said that he should be calling him about that. Shuli said if they put a web cam in his trailer they'd get millions of hits all day long. Shuli said he's plugged into all of these idiots and he knows what makes them interesting.
Howard said he has to ask Jeff about the Love Doll situation. Howard said he never considered how funny that is. Shuli said he was all excited when he got it and then he figured out that he wasn't going to be able to use it and he got all angry. Howard said he's an angry guy. Howard told Shuli to come back in if Jeff calls in again.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that his daughter and her class said that Family Guy was their favorite cartoon. He said that they have all of this stuff in the show that goes right over their heads. He said that they play it on ABC Family. He said if it was real people there's no way it would get on the air. Howard said if he was a cartoon character he never would have had the trouble with the FCC that he had.
Robin started her news with a story about a Swedish organization trying to come up with a term for female masturbation. Howard said here are no terms for that. Howard said maybe Baba Booey. Howard said maybe Flicking the Bean. Robin said that's a term. They want just one word. Howard said maybe ''Flicking.'' He said that could be it. He said he may have come up with something there.
Robin said there's a whole story about Leonardo DiCaprio dating models in the paper today. Howard said that guy is getting a lot of chicks. Howard said he was dating a lot of women when he was single for a short time. Howard said that Leo doesn't have to work for that at all.
Robin had some audio of Lady Gaga from the Songwriters Hall of Fame that Gary talked about earlier.
Robin said that Angelina Jolie is talking about how much suffering is going on in this world. Howard said he's surprised she hasn't cracked yet. He said she was so weird and he thought this whole thing was only going to last a couple of years. Robin had some audio of Jolie talking about what's going on.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he gave away the love doll. Howard said he can't even get laid with a love doll. Howard asked what Shuli learned. Howard said he bets he sold that thing. Jeff said he gave it away. Howard asked if he couldn't fuck it. Jeff said he never attempted it. Shuli said he couldn't lift it. Jeff said he never attempted it. Shuli said he told him that it was too heavy to set up on the bed. Shuli said this was interesting before he got involved.
Howard had Jeff's Lump back on the phone. The Lump said just imagine getting laid by this guy. Jeff said he gave that doll away. He said he'd be depressed too if people were piling up on him too. Howard said that The Lump calls in when Jeff is on because he's attached to him. The Lump said he can't explain the technology behind it. Shuli hopes that the arm calls in too. Howard said The Lump is enough.
Howard said Jeff must have tried to fuck the doll once. Jeff said he swears to god that he didn't. Howard said he must have tried. Jeff said he never tried. Shuli said all of a sudden it wasn't a problem for him. Jeff said he never tried to fuck it. The Lump said Jeff isn't much on trying. The Lump said he wants noting to do with that whole thing.
Howard said he's glad to say that they talked. He said he's glad Jeff is back on the show. Jeff said ''Yeah, right.'' Jeff also said he wants to clear up his acting ability surpassing Eric's acting. The Lump said if he can act he should act interesting. Howard said he really has to go. He said if anyone wants to hire him he's sure they'll call in. Jeff said Howard only talks about what he wants to talk about. The Lump said it's starting to seem like it's Howard's show. Jeff said fuck you to Eric. Howard said it's not Eric. Jeff said ''Fuck everybody!' and hung up. The Lump left too.
Howard said that didn't help a bit. He said he wouldn't even talk about the doll. Shuli said he doesn't know what the problem is. He said it was an interesting story.
Robin read a story about about mental health and how big of a problem it is in the city. Howard said that he'd like to know why so many people are fucked up. He did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Holly Madison's new book about Hugh Hefner. Howard said he read some of the excerpts from the paper and it was interesting. Howard said they may have to have her in there. Robin said maybe they should. Robin and Howard talked about what they found in the excerpts. Robin said that it sounds like he just did a couple of pumps in each girl and then he'd finish himself off. Robin said that Holly says that some of the girls were pimping themselves out through a Hollywood Madam. Robin said Hefner says that she has chosen to rewrite history. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Nick Cannon being upset that Mariah Carrey is dating. Howard said Nick doesn't care. Howard said he'll ask Nick. He said Nick will say ''hell no'' if he asks if he cares.
Robin read a story about an orphanage in Kenya where a guy from Oklahoma came and performed sex acts on the kids. Howard said if you're against abortion then go to an orphanage in Kenya and you'll change your mind. Robin read more details about the story. Howard said he's going to join Angelina Jolie and scream about this. Howard said she could be more excited about what she's talking about though. He said she wasn't delivering a compelling speech. Howard said it sounds like she's reading off a teleprompter. Howard replayed a clip that he played earlier and told her to act a little. He said she sounds like she's doing Whitey On the Moon.
Howard said he forgot that Tan Mom was promoting Seth MacFarlane. He played a clip where she called him ''Sex Matholan'' and said she loves his show. Howard said Arnold Schwarzenegger will be in this week and she left him a message too. In that clip she said that he's ''the governor of L.A.''
Robin read a story about a shooting at a church in South Carolina. Howard said he would have looked that kid up just based on that Moe Howard hair cut. Howard said that it's unbelievable we don't have better laws on waiting periods for guns. Robin had some audio of some people talking about racism in this country.
Robin read a story about how the confederate flag has become a discussion because of its background. Howard said get rid of it. He said that's an easy one. Robin had some audio of some people talking about that. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read more about the confederate flag thing and had more audio clips for Howard to play. Howard said we don't need that flag hanging over a government building. Robin said we need to clean this mess up.
Robin read a story about the Supreme Court not clearing up this gay marriage thing up yet. Robin said she's not sure what's holding this up. Howard said that people are miserable assholes and they want to stop people from being happy. Howard said the bible was written by a man who made this stuff up. He said that it's unthinkable that anyone would be against it. Howard said he knows tons of dudes who are married to other dudes and they're very happy. He said everything is so simple.
Robin read a story about how science may be on the verge of an HIV vaccine. Robin read the details about that. Robin said that they are testing it on mice but they're not sure when it'll be available for humans.
Robin said Pope Francis does not appear to be ready to let women have any positions in the Vatican. Howard said imagine in this day and age where women are locked up by the Taliban for no good reason the Catholic church won't let women do a man's job. Howard said it doesn't make sense. He said if he were pope he'd change the entire system. Howard said it's loony in this day and age to think that men are better than women. He said it's boggling the mind that we haven't figured this out.
Robin read a story about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West revealing that they're having a son. Robin said they revealed this on Father's day.
Robin said Jurassic World is still number 1 at the box office. Robin said it made over $100 million this weekend and that's in its second week at the box office.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a couple of confederate flag do rags and no one has ever had a problem with it. He said it's all in the way you look at it. Howard said it represents a time when people were fighting over slavery. Robin asked why the guy wears it. The caller said the main reason was that it fit his whole head and most do rags don't fit. Howard said he begs to differ. He said he thinks that this guy thinks he's a rebel. The caller said no. Howard asked if he'd wear a Swastika bandana. The caller said that's different. Howard said that it's not different for black people. He said they were being held down and sold as slaves. Howard said he would suggest that he stop wearing it. Howard said take it from your pal. Howard said he'll send him over to Harlem with that thing on and he'll learn what it represents. Howard said some things are no brainers.
Robin said that HBO has a special on about Dennis Rodman's visit to North Korea. Robin said they made a 30 minute documentary about it. Robin said it should be an interesting thing to see. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon said that Howard loved House of Cards and so did Robin. Jon said they have to talk more about that and about what happened on the show today. Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. He also said that they heard so many things going on today. He asked Rahsaan what the poll is today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''Which Staff Father is the Most Annoying, according to their own kids?'' and the choices are:
Jon asked Michael who he thinks is the worst dad there. Michael said that he would go with number 3. He said that it's probably funny a couple of times for the kid. Jon said he's with him on that. He said he loves that Sal thinks that he can sing even though he can't.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wants to say that not all white people from the south are stupid rednecks. He said he just doesn't want to live up north. Jon asked if Michael thinks that the confederate flag should live on because he's from the south. Michael said that he went to school in North Carolina and they have nice flag there. He said the confederate flag should be taken down.
Jon asked the caller if people assume that he's with this sort of thing because of his accent. The caller said they do. He said it's just not true though. Jon said he believes him. Jon said it's unfair. They went to break after that.
Jon said that everyone is talking about Michael and his character Doug Stamper. He said his character is kind of mysterious. Michael said he was told not to emote at all during the first season. He said it worked and it gave him the thing that he is. He said in season 3 he played a character who was almost completely different. He said he did things differently. Michael said that this is what he could be. He said he ultimately chooses the dark side.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's a big fan of both Howard Stern and House of Cards. He said that Doug Stamper is one of his favorite characters on House of Cards. He said he was forbidden from listening to Howard when he was a kid and now he listens to Howard in his car and he fell in love with it. He said he also loved Private Parts the movie and he got the struggle and his back story. He said he wishes that Howard could interview himself. He said that he wishes he would do another movie where they cover the years from where Private Parts left off until the Sirius years. Jon said that Michael is there to tell Howard to do Private Parts 2 and take it through the current years. Michael said he'll interview Howard and they'll put it on Netflix.
Jon said Howard can't say no to anything and that's what he was saying this morning. He said Howard is at a point where he can pick and choose what he wants to do. He said he has to do what's right for him. Jon said that he knows fans want Howard but you have to let him go do what he wants to do. Michael said he gets that fans want to keep him. He said he agrees that he has to do what he wants to do.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has been a fan since he was 11 and he's just 15 now. He said he wants to address something that was said today about the Pope. He said it made him think about what time period we're living in when women are denied positions. Jon said that you do think about how things can be that way. He said it wasn't so long ago when there was slavery and when women weren't allowed to vote. He said people are stuck in their ways and it's scary for them to change.
Michael said he thinks as a 15 year old you know what exists today. He said today people are treated fairly for the most part. He said it really wasn't that long ago when they weren't. He said change is taking much longer than we want. He said it's a good thing and we will get to that place since most people are for equality.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Michael about the character he plays and if he gets sneered at on the street after playing that part. Michael said he never stops smiling and he is very grateful for what he has. He said he walks around smiling because he gets to play Doug Stamper. He said most people just yell out to him ''Doug!'' or ''Stamper!'' when they see him. He said sometimes someone will get in the elevator with him and kind of freak out.
Gary asked if he ever tells them that he can't really have them killed. Michael got a laugh out of that. He said that can come out at times.
Jon said that he is a very happy guy and he's not that by a long shot on House of Cards. He said it shows how great an actor he is. They went to break after that.
Jon said that the Baba Booey thing was crazy this week on the PGA tournament. Gary said people think he has something to do with it and he has nothing to do with it. He said it's just their fans being fans. Jon said even Tata Toothy got on this week.
Jon said that Howard was talking about how he doesn't have the time to do everything he wants to. Gary said he is just going to do the things he wants to do. Jon said Howard has to make himself happy ultimately. He said he's on the tail end of things and he has to do something to satisfy himself.
Gary said Howard talked about the opportunities he has but he didn't give them details. He said Howard doesn't tell them what they are. He said that it does impact his future though. Jon said people think they have some idea what it is but they really don't.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that no one is calling in to talk about the confederate flag issue. He said it became an issue because of the Ku Klux Klan using it in the 60s. He said in the south they still have respect for the flag because the war was over state's rights. Gary said that it was mostly over slavery though, wasn't it. The caller said not really. Gary and the caller went back and forth on that until Gary said they were getting into a crazy history less on now. Michael said that it did represent something else and if it's offending people then just take it down. Gary said if part of your heritage is your grandfather fighting for the Nazi's you wouldn't put him a Nazi flag.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that some of the guys on the show seem to be pretty approachable but he saw Howard in the mid 90s somewhere and he looked miserable. He asked if he should leave Howard alone if he sees him somewhere. Gary said generally he thinks Howard likes to be left alone but he wouldn't tell people to leave him alone. Jon said you have to read the room. He said it's a tough call. Gary said that saying your a big fan is one thing. Then you might take up more time talking to him. He said if you pull out a Selfie Stick then you're annoying him. Jon said he thinks if you're moving and keep moving it might be okay.
Jon asked Michael how he handles it. Michael said that he tries not to say no. He said it means a lot when people give you a thumbs up and keep moving. Gary said they started out on radio so people didn't recognize them. Gary said that 1 out of 5000 people had a camera on them. He said now everyone has a camera on them.
Jon took a call from a guy who said this Brian Williams guy needs to disappear off the face of the earth. He said he has been a teacher trying to tech kids not to lie and cheat and this guy comes along doing that and he takes that all away. He said people like that make his job tough.
The caller said that it's cool that Michael is in that movie Everest. He said he keeps a copy of the book in his classroom.
Jon asked Gary about the Brian Williams thing. Gary said he feels bad for him not being able to get out of his own way. He said Howard pointed out that he never said he was sorry or that he lied. He said that's really what he should have done. Gary said his head is spinning over that. Jon said if he did maybe people would be okay with what he did. Michael said he understands how that whole thing can happen. He said he thinks there are a lot of news channels that fabricate the news like that. He said he doesn't think that he did what he could have to make it right.
Jon asked Rahsaan what the results of the poll were. Rahsaan said that Sal won the poll with 51 percent of the votes. Gary said there's a weird moment when your kids think you're cool but then they start to think that you're not cool. He said you don't realize it when it happens.
Jon and Gary talked to Michael about working with his own kids on House of Cards. They played his brother's kids. Michael said it was tough but the director told him to just let her handle the kids and he had to go play Doug Stamper. He said that worked because the kids wouldn't listen to him but they listened to her.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and some plugs for Michael before ending the show. They were done around Noon.
Howard started the show talking about the big show they had coming up. He said Perez Hilton is coming in today. Howard said that he goes down in history with the show because of what he did to Benjy. Howard played a clip of Benjy getting fingered by Perez Hilton. Robin said they can call him Benjy's boyfriend.
Howard said Channing Tatum is also coming in today. Howard said he's the star of Magic Mike. Howard said he should have gotten an Oscar for his work in that wrestling movie he liked. Robin said he was very good in that. Howard said the differences between their guests are that one has fingered Benjy and one hasn't. Howard said Benjy has a new physique now and he could be a male stripper. Benjy said he used to do that. Howard said he made zero dollars doing it. Benjy said he got hired to do it because of the show. Benjy said they made a TV show out of it. He said he was pretty good. Howard said that's enough of Benjy. He said it can only go downhill from there.
Howard said he has stuff on his computer he wants to get through. He said Riley Martin has a show on Howard 101. He said he loves to pull clips from his show. Robin said you can't believe what you hear on there. Howard said she's got it. Howard said that he has a piss jug that he sells because he's too lazy to get off the couch himself. Howard played a clip from Riley's show where Eron and Riley made an announcement. Eron said they're out of the Riley Martin bobble heads and piss jugs. He said they'll let the listeners know when they have them back in stock.
Howard said Riley must be forced to piss on the couch unless he has his piss jug. Robin said she's sure he kept his. Howard said in the same show Riley was telling people to send him money. Howard played a clip of Eron talking about how worried people are about Riley's health. Riley said that people should send him some money so that he might suffer the remainder of his twilight years among you.
Howard said that made no sense. Howard said Riley still smokes and it sounds like it's affecting him. Robin said she doesn't think it would make a difference if he stopped. Howard said they love Riley and don't want to lose him.
Howard said Imus wasn't as bad as Charles was. He said Charles McCord came up to him telling him that he was the greatest after he had gone to number 1. Howard said he doesn't hate Imus. He said there are some people he hates but not with Imus. Howard said he could have been a little more gracious. Howard said Imus sounds a lot like Riley these days. He said he just gets paid better.
Howard said Imus may have a problem with Letterman because he used to go on regularly and then Imus started going on. Howard said he went on and it didn't go well. He said he didn't think that Letterman would have him on again. He said he may have had him on one or two times and that was it. He said that might be where the hate comes from.
Howard said that he ran into Imus on the street not too many years ago. He said Imus was dressed like a cowboy. He said he looked like an old guy in a cowboy outfit. Howard said he looked like he was in a costume. He said he and Imus said a quick hello and shook hands. He said there were no words really exchanged. Howard said it was like two old warriors saying hello. He said next time he sees him he's going to dress like an astronaut. He said it will look like Buzz Lightyear and Woody.
The caller told Howard that his toilet is called a Toto and that's the word for Pussy in Spanish. Howard said that's not right. He said it's Chocho. Howard said it's not Toto. Howard said Chocho is cunt. The caller said it's also Toto. Howard said he doesn't really give a fuck. The caller said Bobo in Spanish is Dummy. He said it's idiot and fool. Howard thanked him and let him go. Robin looked up Toto and said the guy was right.
Howard said he wants to move on from that. Howard said Jeff the Drunk was very aggravated with the show. He said Shuli called him after the show. He said Jeff quit the show and quit Twitter. Then within a minute or two Jeff rejoined both the show and Twitter. Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to Jeff about all of that. Jeff said he's done. He said Howard knows he's fucking broke and he won't throw him a fucking bone. He said fuck Howard. Shuli said this was at 2:20 in the afternoon. Jeff was done with the show at that time. He had also disconnected his Twitter.
Howard said Shuli predicted he'd be back within 5 minutes. Howard said within 3 minutes he was back on the show. Howard said he's explained to Jeff that he's a phone caller and he owes him nothing. Howard said he pays taxes and that money goes to Jeff to pay for his support. Howard played more audio where Jeff talked about how they used to throw him $500 here and there. He said these days they don't pay him anything. He said they still bitch about him asking for money but he doesn't ask for it.
Howard said he thinks Jeff's life is better than 99 percent of the people. He said he gets a check from the government and he gets to sit around watching TV all day. Howard said he's not sure what he's complaining about. Howard said if he wants money he should get a job. Howard said he read an article where a guy talked about delivering newspapers and how he got paid. He said there are ways to make money without putting your hand out. Robin said that Seth MacFarlane was working at 9. Howard said Jeff was retired at 9.
Howard played another clip of Shuli asking Jeff if he's done with the show. Jeff said he has to think about it. He said he's been with the show this long so he might as well stick with it. It was 2:23pm yesterday when he agreed to be back on.
Shuli came in and said that he can't tell him how many times this has happened. He said Jeff is going to be done with Twitter soon because his cell phone was prepaid for a year and that's about to expire. Howard said they want him on Twitter. He said he might have an old iPad that he can send him. Howard said he doesn't know that he has one but he might. Robin said he needs the service. Howard said he's not going to give him that. Shuli said he'll be calling up in a week asking for WiFi. Howard said he could have service for a year if he gave up smoking pot. Shuli said that he gave it up a few years ago because he was in debt. He said he paid everything off and it was amazing. He said this is the same guy who is expecting Howard to drop it all in his lap. Howard said if they had a game going on he'd threw him some dough but they don't do that much with him anymore.
Shuli said that he talked to Jeff about that sex doll thing and Jeff said he just wasn't in the mood. Howard said good work and let Shuli go.
Howard took a call from Bobo and asked if he believes that. Bobo said he was getting strange calls during the night and during the day. Howard said he's down playing it now. Howard played another clip of Bobo talking about how he's not going to take a trip because of the calls. He didn't want to get caught up in an aircraft with Egyptians and mid-Eastern looking people. Bobo said that's all he needs is for people tracking him at 30,000 feet with his family. Howard said he could be like Liam Neeson and beat the shit out of these guys.
Robin asked how his wife married him. Robin said if she's listening to this what is she thinking? Howard said Shuli pretended to be a terrorist and called Bobo. Howard played the clip of Shuli calling Bobo and telling him they should use code names. Bobo said he was Schmo1 and Shuli was Falcon. Shuli made noise on the phone and Bobo heard that thinking it was some kind of terrorist thing. Howard said Bobo is so out of it. He said he should call himself Schlobo. Howard said he's so gullible. Howard said it's a wrong number and it doesn't mean anything. Howard asked what he did for the government. Bobo said he worked in the driving safety department for the postal service.
Howard said he really has to go. Bobo said he had something to talk about but Howard talked him out of making the call too long and ruining this. Howard let him go after that. He said he liked when Bobo called Shuli ''Falcon.'' Howard said Bobo also mentioned that he tries to disguise himself when he goes out. Howard wondered if he takes off that awful wig. He said that you can't write a better dialog with that Schmo and Falcon thing. He said it's like a scene out of Dumb and Dumber. Howard said he should break. They went to commercial after that.
Howard said Eddie gave this interview and it's fascinating and riveting. Howard said Eddie talks about the tongue cancer he had and how he thinks that came on. He said that he talks about his knowledge of music and pop music. He said he knows nothing about contemporary music. Howard said it's fascinating. Howard said then they get into Van Halen. He said Eddie said he can't get along with David Lee Roth. He said he goofs on the guy in the article. He said he doesn't dye his hair and he seemed to be goofing on David about doing that. Howard said that Eddie also talked about how the guys in the band are into rock but David is into dance music. Howard said then out of nowhere he throws a left hook about Michael Anthony. He said that Eddie said that Michael never figured out a note that he didn't teach him. He said he had to video tape his parts so Michael could learn them. He said he slammed Michael saying that his voice isn't that good. Howard said he wishes they would come in there.
Howard said after all of that Sammy Hagar posted a video last night about Michael Anthony. Howard said Eddie doesn't remember even coming up with his famous riffs. Howard said you have to make your own opinions about these things. Howard said Eddie doesn't even remember lyrics to his own songs. Howard said Sammy came out with this video and he's defending Michael Anthony. Howard said he hasn't heard it yet. He said JD just got it for him.
Howard played the audio of Sammy Hagar defending Michael Anthony. Sammy said Mikey didn't do anything to the band. He was he was first to rehearsal and he never did anything to hurt the band. Sammy said that Eddie saying that he had to teach him everything was the biggest line of bullshit. He said he was there for 11 years and he knows what they did in rehearsal. He said that Eddie would tell him not to play so many notes but that was it. He said that was a lot of bullshit. Sammy said he's not sure why they go after him like that. Sammy was pissed.
Howard said Michael Anthony was called for a quote and he just said he chooses not to comment. He said he was taking the high road. Howard said he didn't want to defend himself or anything like that.
The caller asked if Eddie can still play like Eddie. Howard said it seemed like it on the Jimmy Kimmel show. Howard said he invited the band to come in but David is mad at him for some reason. He said he's been very friendly with David but he has a problem with him. Howard said he found out what it is that's so horrible. Howard said David thinks that he called him gay. Howard said he has no idea what he was talking about. Howard said he assumes he's heterosexual. He said when he interviewed Valerie Bertinelli he asked if he's heterosexual because he's never seen him out with a woman. He said Valerie said he is as far as she knows. Howard said he feels awful about it but he doesn't think it's something unreasonable to say. Howard said being gay isn't a bad thing. Robin said unless you're not gay. Robin said she used to get called gay. Howard said that's right. Howard said he hates that David is upset about that. Robin said he might be an overly sensitive person.
Howard said he and Eddie used to talk on the phone a lot but that stopped. He said he'd love to talk to the guys though. He said he doesn't think there's a problem with Eddie. Howard said he could be wrong based on the Michael Anthony thing. Howard said thinks that Eddie also holds it against Michael because he didn't call when he got tongue cancer. Howard said there's a whole thing going on there. He said he is fascinated by Van Halen. He said that they broke up in 2006 because Michael and Sammy were too close. Howard said there are a few things that Eddie is upset about Michael.
The caller asked if he thinks Eddie got the tongue cancer the same way Michael Douglas did. Howard said that's no joke. He said it could be. Howard said Eddie claims it wasn't from smoking. He said that he was told he had no cancer in his lunges and he thinks that it's from a metal guitar pick he used to rest on his tongue in the same spot he got the cancer. Howard said he had to let the caller go after that.
Howard played the clip and Tan Mom walks into their studio and sees Sal under the console and then he comes up with lotion on his face. She said she knows every game in the book. They said they weren't doing anything. Tan Mom was really pissed. Howard said she was really taken with Sal because he was so into her. She said she was leaving after all of that. Tan Mom got upset with Sal saying she thought he was her friend. Howard said once she found out it was a prank she was so happy. He said the two of them went down to the lobby to have a cigarette.
Howard played the clip of Sal and Tan Mom talking about the prank and then going down for a smoke. Howard said that she was there to record some stuff. Howard said when Amy Poehler was on the show she asked a question for Tan Mom. He said Tan Mom Loves that. Howard played the clip of Amy asking what her secret is for having it all. In the clip Tan Mom talks about how it's to never be married. She said that's the only way to live. She said you just have to believe in yourself.
Howard said Tan Mom had a question for Amy Schumer too. She called her ''Amy Shuler'' in the clip.
Gary told Howard that Tan Mom was on the phone before going into the studio with Sal and Richard so they were waiting for her for like 5 minutes. Howard played another clip of Tan Mom giving some advice and then went to break.
Howard said he heard that Benjy freaked him out after that. Perez said he ran into him in the park and he was in the playground with his son. He said Benjy went into the playground and started filming him in there. He said when they were done Benjy asked if he could use the footage. He said no because it was so awkward. He said he was in the playground with little kids. Benjy said he was filming a documentary about them being in Sharknado. He said that Perez acted like he didn't even know him. Perez said they were inside the playground. He said he was going to say hi to him outside but Benjy came in.
Howard said Perez has very long fingers. He said he even said to Benjy this morning asking if he had just the top or the whole finger in there. Benjy said it was his whole finger. Perez said he wanted to put more than one finger in. Howard said he got scared that he didn't want him to even do one. Howard played a clip of Benjy screaming when Perez put his finger in his ass.
Howard said Perez had a boyfriend at the time and he broke up with him over that. Perez said he wasn't dating that long. He said he had gone out a few times. He said at the beginning of date 6 which was the next week he said he stopped getting a romantic vibe so they should be friends. Perez said that he just found it odd that it was told at the beginning of a date. Perez said that they had to sit through dinner and Joan Rivers show that night together after they had broken up.
Howard said that they have pictures of the fingering up on HowardStern.com. Perez said every heterosexual male he ever ran into wanted to know the details of that thing. He said every straight dude wanted to know the details. Howard said that was something else. Robin said she couldn't believe he agreed to do it.
Howard asked if he was looking at his ass when he did it. Perez said he was looking in his eyes. He said he anted to make him feel safe and comfortable. Howard said Benjy was at his fattest at the time. Howard asked if Benjy was on his back. Perez said he was. Howard said that makes it even weirder. Perez said he thinks he requested it. Howard said he got on his back like a woman and opened up his legs. Perez said as a gay man he thinks he knows that it was more comfortable for him that way.
Howard said he gets his prostate checked and he's on his side. He said he likes what Perez did to him. He said he had him on his back. Howard asked if Benjy got excited at all. Perez said he might have been. He said he did it all for his girlfriend and then they broke up. Perez wanted to know what that was all about. Robin said they don't go there.
Howard said that Benjy's girlfriend went off and did her own thing. Howard said he thinks that he's back with her now. Benjy started to tell them that he's always loved Elisa. He said they've had a rough relationship. Howard asked if they are back together. Benjy said they are spending a lot of time together. He said he's in love with her. Perez asked if he had sex with her. Benjy said the last year and a half not very often. Perez asked why. Benjy said that they weren't leading to marriage so they weren't doing it. Benjy said that he would love to marry her. He said he will propose eventually. He said he would love to marry her. Benjy said he knows that he was fucked up during their relationship.
Howard asked if any shit came out of Benjy during that whole thing. Perez said he didn't look at the glove. Benjy said he has the glove. He said he thought maybe they'd do something with it. Howard asked if there was brown on it. Benjy said no.
Howard said that most people douche before doing anal. Perez said that you do if you're a power bottom. Howard asked if he looked at Benjy's ass. Perez said he noticed it was hairy. He said there was nothing sexual about that whole thing. He said that he wasn't into it. Howard said he hopes he fists him some day. Perez said he has done that. He said he hasn't power fisted though. He said he's not sure he'd be into that. He said there's something called a Rose Bud and he's not into that. He said he doesn't want to see anything red.
Howard asked Perez how life is for him now. He said he knows he did Big Brother over in England. Perez said he had a breakdown in there. Howard said it's unbelievable what was going on. Perez said lack of sleep will make you go insane. Howard said he did Big Brother over there in England. Perez said that he has made a lot of changes in his life. He said that he's not being judgy of things like he used to. He said he wants to do more TV and the way to do that is by doing more TV. He said Joan Rivers was his inspiration. He said she never turned down anything. Howard said Big Brother paid him like $237,000. Perez said it was a lot more than that. He said over there they don't have a live feed. He said it's very edited and slanted to show footage. He said that they can paint you out to be something that's not truly accurate. Howard said it's on TV and you know it's not going to get that bad. Perez said it got bad.
Perez said he had a lack of sleep in there. He said that people went in with pills and that's what he would do if he did it again. He said he wouldn't do it again. Perez said he would go in with sleeping pills. He said he's not sure he'd want to go in there and do that for so long. He said he was in there for 4 weeks. He figured it would last a couple of weeks. Howard said maybe he's just bad at being away from home.
Perez said they lock you in your room because they're setting things up for the next day. He said people fight all day long and it's hard to unwind in there. He said then you're locked in the room. He said it was impossible for him to shut his brain off. Perez said he'd wake up in the darkness. He said they have shutters on the windows so you don't see light. He said he felt like he was in prison. He said he was acting insane. Perez said he'd go into the diary room and he wasn't able to get words out because he was so out of it.
Howard had a clip where Perez was crying to his roommate. Perez was saying that he didn't want to stay there anymore and he knows she's just trying to help but he wants to go home. Perez said that woman, Nadia, saved him. He said she was amazing.
Howard asked about why he was coughing to wake everyone up in there. Perez said he wasn't able to sleep and he had to get out of that bedroom so he was knocking on the door to get out. He said he was asking them to let him out to the diary room. Perez said he came up with a medical issue and started the cough. He said they didn't let him go to the diary room. Perez said then he said if they don't open the door he's going to start coughing and they're going to be very upset. He said they had a live show that night and they told them to get some sleep before the live show. Howard played the clip where Perez was coughing to get out of the room. Perez was faking the cough to get out of there.
Perez said he told everyone he was doing this because he wanted to do more TV. He said he believed that at the time he would get more TV jobs. He said he was getting paid a shit ton of money to do it. He said if you get voted out after one week you get the entire amount. He said if you stay longer you don't get anything extra. He said he was trying to renegotiate while he was there. Howard asked if it's true that he's the most hated man in Britain. Perez said that was a media thing. He said the people loved what was going on. He said some people were viewing it as a game. He said that he was on there to have fun and some were there to stir up drama and just to be mean. Perez said when people were picking on him he'd revert to childhood. He said he'd act like a baby. He said he became a clown and started humping furniture and things.
Howard had a clip of Perez breaking down in the diary room. Perez was saying he had to speak to his lawyer or he wasn't going to say another word. Perez refused to speak to them. He eventually spoke to them and said that he was being threatened. He said he tried to quit the show 4 times and they told him things on every occasion that they had to get someone to come and speak to him. He said they'd calm him down and get a psychologist in there. He said that they did that four times. He said if he had quit he wouldn't have gotten paid. He said he stayed the first time. Then he tried to quit again when this crack addict guy threatened him. He said he has a kid at home and he was afraid the guy was going to hurt him. Perez said he told the producers if the guy stays then he's leaving. He said that guy ended up leaving.
Perez said the third time he tried to quit they played a voice message from his mom. He said that she pulled the dad card and begged him to stay for his dad who died when he was 15. Perez said that was screwing with his mind even more. Then the fourth time he tried to quit was really the last time. He said that he was ready to leave and had gone through everyone talking to the psychologist and other people. He said they were going to let him stay in a room by himself for 2 days. He said that he thought that would help. He said it was like a vacation. He said he was safe and happy in that room. He said it was the best thing that could have happened. Howard asked if he won. Perez said no. He said he didn't want to win.
Howard said Perez had lost weight before going into the house. He gained weight while he was in there. Perez said that whole thing left him broken. He said in the months after that he was having anxiety. Howard said it was like post traumatic stress. Perez said it was. He said he had gone through depression before and he kept obsessing about the future. He said his sister was helping him and he has staff so things were covered. He said he was in such an unwell space that he kept eating unhealthy. He said he had to work hard to get it under control. He said he's getting back into it now.
Perez said he got into shape in 2008 and he did it to get laid. He said now he's doing it because he thinks there is a tie between a healthy body and a healthy mind. Perez said it helped him battle his anxiety.
Howard asked if Big Brother is dangerous. Perez said it depends on the casting and the chemistry of the people. Perez said he was prepared for things that were fake drama, not real drama. He said that one guy was kicked out for sexually assaulting a girl. He said another guy got kicked out for making racist comments. He said he doesn't think they were even prepared for that. Perez said that the season he was on was the most talked about season in the history of the show over there.
Howard said Perez has a new daughter and he has a son. Perez said that the daughter was born a month ago. He said he's raising the two kids himself. He said it's very challenging. He said he makes time for everything. He said he makes time to work out once a day when he used to do it twice a day. Robin asked if he has any help at all. Perez said of course he has help. He said with a second child it's even harder. He said he thought that it would be like one and a half with two. He said it's more like having 3.
Howard said Perez is running the web site and raising the kids. Perez said he has an exclusive announcement for Howard. Howard asked Fred to play the exclusive music. Fred played a drum roll. Perez said he's going to be playing Bob Saget's character in a musical. He said they're starting in Toronto in August and it's coming to New York later. He said you can find out more at FullHouseTheMusical.com
Howard said that Perez also ended his feud with Lady Gaga. Perez said that came about after the Big Brother thing. He said that he thought about her during that experience. Perez said fame can really fuck you up. He said he was hurt by her and he said fuck that shit and wanted to let it all go. He said he wanted to open up space in his heart for her and more things. Perez said that he wanted to hurt her for a while. He said that he sent her a text and an email and said he was sorry if he hurt her. He said he let that all go and told her that he didn't want to be her friend or anything but he forgives her. He said that she was going through a lot and he tried to be there for her. He said that he didn't hear back from her but he told her that he didn't want to. He said he has let go of the hurt and pain.
Howard said it seems like the Benjy thing was a slow day in his life. Perez said that he's been very busy lately. He said he was on Millionaire Matchmaker too. Howard said he's going to be very busy with the play. Perez said he knows because he has done another show before.
Howard asked Perez what's big on his web site these days. Perez said everything changes so quickly. He said James Horner the composer died in a plane crash yesterday. He said that's very sad. Robin said he wrote the score to Titanic and Brave Heart. Perez said that the Caitlyn Jenner thing is very big too. Howard said that he had a very big brouhaha with Kris Jenner. Howard said Perez asked her why she's not being more supportive. Perez said all he did was state the facts as seen on the Diane Sawyer interview. Perez said that she never responded to comment on the whole thing. He said he tweeted about how she didn't comment and she said that ABC never contacted her but ABC called her out as a liar about that.
Perez asked Robin if she would ask questions if she was dating a man who ended up getting breasts. Robin said she probably would. Robin said that Kris may have needed money because she had kids. Robin said that the tits aren't a stopper. Perez said that he's in Kim Kardashian's app so he's getting paid for that. He said he's alright with that whole family.
Perez said that he is on SnapChat now and he really likes that. He said that he likes that it only stays up for a short time. He said that makes you want to keep up with it.
Howard asked Perez if he'd finger Benjy again. Perez said he'd rather do something new. Howard asked if Benjy would ever see that happening again. Perez said that Channing Tatum is there so he's down for anything with him. Robin said that Benjy is wondering why Channing isn't fingering him. Perez said that Channing is married and happy with his wife and child. Howard asked if he asked to stick his whole foot in his ass would he do it. Perez said he would.
Howard asked Benjy what he thinks about that. Benjy said after he got fingered he was in severe pain. He said he had to go to a urologist. He said he went with Elisa. Howard said that was all psychological. He said that when you have a finger in your ass you think that something was damaged. Benjy said he didn't know if it was an infection or what. He said he went to different doctors and they'd ask what he did. He said he had to tell them who it was and why they did it. Benjy said he wasn't sure if it made a difference. He said he had to explain that he wasn't gay but they didn't care. Robin asked if anything was wrong with him. Benjy said they did see some swelling in there.
Benjy said he has an idea for something. He said that he will think it through and get back to Howard. Howard said that Perez is the best. He gave him some more plugs and wrapped up with him.
Howard came back and said this is one of his least favorite Van Halen songs. Fred said that's what Eddie says too. He said he didn't want to do that song. Howard said he loves their first album. Fred said this is a pop song.
Howard said he wants to get to a few things before Channing Tatum gets there. Howard said he'll be there in about 10 minutes.
Howard said that the Big Brother show in England sounds crazy. He said he has a phony phone call to play. He said the lady who was white and said she was black is off the papers now. Howard said they went to Harlem to ask people what they think. Howard played some clips of people saying that she looks black. They weren't mad at her at all for doing what she did. One woman said that other people have done that before.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the year is moving along very fast. He asked if Howard doesn't sign will the Howard Stern channels exist. Howard said no. He said they would go away because there would be no Howard Stern. Howard said he loves having channel 100. He said he requested that when he got there. He said he couldn't get channel 1. The caller asked if Robin has checked out Maple the cat yet. Howard said not yet. He said Robin and Beth are in touch though. Howard said he enjoys the cats.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that America's Got Talent is live tonight. She said she'll be tweeting live tonight. She said that it might be a cliffhanger tonight. Robin said America's Got Talent is not live tonight. Mariann said she'll be tweeting live. She actually did say it was live. Howard said it's a good episode tonight.
Mariann said that she wishes Jeff the Drunk's Lump would have it's own twitter. Howard hung up on her after that. Howard said that she just has to get in everything. He said it's tough to remember all of the stuff so it's good that she calls in. Robin said she goes on and on and doesn't break. Howard said he's not sure if anyone knows what she's talking about. Robin said it's a run on sentence so it's hard to keep track of.
Howard said Gary the conqueror made a phony phone call. He said he called a travel agent and said he wanted to go to Jurassic Park. He said she had to explain to him that it was only in the movies. Howard played the clip of Gary calling and asking to be booked to go to Jurassic Park. The woman said that it's not real. She told him to go see the movie. Gary said he wanted to go there. The woman said she can't get him there. He eventually told her that he hopes a dinosaur shits all over her.
Howard said he had something to tell Robin but he can't think of it. Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk and asked if he is on the show or not. Jeff said he's obviously on. Howard said that he sounds very down. Howard said Jeff resigned from the show yesterday after he said it was getting old asking for stuff from the show. Howard said Jeff quit the show after that. Robin said he's not passionate about acting like Eric the Actor was. Jeff said he is passionate.
Jeff said he wanted to ask Howard if he was going to send him an iPad. Howard said he clarified that this morning and he is not. Howard said it's the constant asking for things that's not entertaining. Jeff said he offered. Howard said he did not. Howard said he's getting mental from this. He said he's not giving him one. That's it. He told Jeff to go back and listen to the tape. He said this is exhausting. Howard said he heard he wasn't going to get on Twitter and he would give him one if he had one. He said that it's not the phone but the service so he's not giving him anything. He said now he's going to nudge him for the next month asking for a fucking iPad. Jeff said he's not. Howard said he didn't promise him an iPad.
Howard said Jeff's lump is on the phone. Howard picked up on The Lump and The Lump said he wants to ask for something. Jeff hung up. Howard said he may have quit the show again. Howard said he can't have a discussion with him without him quitting. Howard asked The Lump how he's doing. The Lump said that he's doing good. He said he's looking forward to Channing Tatum. He said he'd like to live on his dick. Howard said next time they have a game going on they'll have Jeff play so he can try to win some money.
Howard said Channing grew up in a small town in Alabama. Channing said he's from a bunch of places in the south. Howard said he doesn't have that accent though. Channing said he takes on whatever accent he's around. Howard said he wanted to be a football player. Channing said he did. Howard asked if he had power over women early on. Channing said no. He said he always had a girlfriend though. He said that he didn't have a Jedi mind trick on them though. Howard said he was able to make friends though. He said he studied martial arts so he must have been able to kick ass. Channing said not really. He said he studied from 9 to 15. He studied Kung Fu. Howard asked about getting a scholarship to college. Channing said he got one but he had no interest in school. He said that he didn't get it and once he got there he didn't enjoy it.
Howard said he was diagnosed with ADD. Channing said he would fall asleep in class all the time. Howard said they medicated him. Channing said they medicated him and it was like giving him speed. He said that the doctor told him that it was because everything speeds a normal person up would slow him down. He said he was like 12 at the time so he doesn't know what that all means now. He said that the drugs made him a bit of a zombie. He said he was obsessive and compulsive about his work. He said all of the fun was drained out of him. He said he didn't want to eat or anything like that. He said this was early on in the ADD thing. He said they were still trying to figure it out. Howard said that you get the A grade but then you lose who you are. Channing said he has problems with the school system. He said some people do needed medication. He said that there are highs and lows. He said they were in classrooms with other kids and you'd wonder if you were like the other kid.
Howard said that Channing's dad broke his back in a construction accident. Howard said that he fell off and broke his back. He wasn't able to do construction after that. Channing said he was pretty young at the time so he doesn't remember him being in pain. He said he was always in pain. He said he'd have to go and lay down after going out to play.
Howard said Channing got out of college because he didn't want to be there. Howard said then he was out framing houses like his dad. He said things must have looked bleak. Channing said he was freaking out wondering what he was going to do with his life. He said he figured he'd just figure it out. Howard said then he was selling samples at Dillards. Howard asked what he was selling. Channing said that he was hung over in the place all the time. He said you're just so hung over and want to get out of there. Howard said if he wanted to look like someone he'd want to look like Channing. Howard said he could never be in Magic Mike. Channing told him not to say that because he could be in it. Howard said he'd be the world's most disgusting stripper.
Howard said that Channing was selling this stuff at Dillards and it's kind of like seducing a woman. Howard said that he had a move where he is trying to figure out his life and he sees an ad for an exotic dancer. Channing said that you don't make a lot of money doing that. Howard said that's a very big deal to be a male stripper. Howard said going up on a stage and dancing is a big deal. He asked if he showed his dock. Channing said no but you basically see it. Channing said that some dudes would stroke it up and then tie it off to keep it big. Howard asked if he didn't need to do that. Channing said he thinks it looked so strange. He said that it was too much.
Howard asked who he had to audition for to be a stripper. Channing said that he thinks he was having an early mid life crisis. He said he was looking to jump into the abyss. Howard said it's like putting your life on hold. He said it's a weird area where you're never going to be big and famous. Channing said they think they're gods on stage for that hour though. He said then the lights come on and they go back to washing cars or whatever. Howard said he thought that gay dudes would go to see the strippers. Channing said that there are those clubs but this one was for women.
Howard said Magic Mike was based on his life. Channing said that he has a sister and she wasn't happy about him dancing. Robin asked if he danced a lot when he was young. Channing said he did. Howard asked if he had to bulk up to dance. Channing said they did encourage that. Howard said he still had to have a job though. Howard asked if the girls were taking him home and giving him blow jobs. Channing said he was getting his fair share. Howard said he was getting a ton of blow. Channing said you don't want blow. He said they did this stuff called GHB. He said that helped them stay up.
Howard said that Channing never told his dad what he was doing. Channing said that he was shooting Jumpstreet and his dad came to see him on the set. He said he had heard about the Magic Mike thing and he asked why he had to do that. Channing said he told his dad he needed the money. He said his dad said he would have given him the money. He said his dad blamed himself but it wasn't a reflection on him at all.
Howard said he heard that his dad found out about the whole thing when he saw him on Ellen's show. Channing said that's right. Howard said his dad may have thought he was a bad dad. Channing said that it would have hung there forever. He said they don't talk about a lot of stuff. He said his mom got up and left the room.
Howard asked Channing if women would take him home after dancing. Channing said that they probably had kids of their own.
Howard said he was watching Magic Mike 2 and Joe Manganiello's character went and danced for a woman in a store. Howard asked if there were guys who refused to change their act. Channing said the guys once convinced him to dress up like a clown on stage. He said he came out with balloons and things. He said he came out to 99 Red Balloons or something and you could tell that everyone wanted to run. He said after that he did his own routines.
Howard asked Channing if the money he makes is just the money he gets paid from the women who tip him. Channing said that's it. He said that it was okay money though. He said the clubs didn't pay.
Channing said he did private parties and he'd end up dancing for people he went to high school with. Howard asked if things would get kinky with threesome's and stuff. Channing said it never really got that good.
Howard said Channing moved to Miami and a talent scout found him. He said the scout wanted to sign him. Howard said he put him in commercials. Channing said he was walking around and this guy came up to him and asked if he had representation. He said that he wondered for what. Channing said he could tell this guy wanted to fuck him. Howard said he has never had a guy hit on him like that. Channing said just hang out with him for a week and he's sure it will happen.
Howard said Channing was cast as a dancer in a Ricky Martin video. He said that he did some ads for Gap and Nautica and stuff. Then he started doing commercials. Howard asked if he was in a panic over that because of his learning disability. Channing said he was. He said the audition process is hard because he had to learn so many lines. He said it was a big learning curve. He said he got a movie and he asked Sam Jackson how he does it. He said Sam told him he'd learn what the conversation was about and that's how he did it.
Howard said Channing has said that it takes him about 5 times longer to learn a script than other people. He said he reads it slowly and thoughtfully. Howard said he hosted Saturday Night Live and had to read off a cue card. Channing said he's almost throwing up just thinking about that. He said he would do it again though. He said he would like to do it better.
Howard asked if he told Lorne Michaels that it was the worst fear in his life or did he just keep quiet. Channing said he may have brought it up but Lorne takes all of your insecurities and does a Jedi mind trick on you and makes you relax. He said he's such a pro.
Howard asked if he has an agent in his life that try to keep him out of doing things like that. Channing said they do. He said they ask if he's sure he wants to do this. Howard said he's making a ton of money in his films so why risk humiliation. Channing said he just jumps off the cliff and tries to see if the parachute will work later.
Howard said Channing met his wife on the movie Step Up. He said that wasn't a big movie. Howard asked if he took acting lessons. Channing said he still does. Howard asked if he expected to have a huge career. Howard asked if he landed a lot or roles. Channing said you just want a job. He said that the Coen Brothers came along and he was like 15 years too young for the part. He said he went in and auditioned for the part. He said he wasn't nervous because he knew he couldn't get the part. He said he just wanted to go in and have a good thing with them. He said from that point on he figured he could still be in Tampa stripping. He said he figured he should just be thankful.
Howard said the Coen brothers saw something in him and he worked with them this year. Howard said the big moment in his career was getting the role of G.I. Joe. Channing laughed. Howard said that movie made hundreds of millions of dollars. Channing said he hates that movie. He said he was pushed into doing it. He said he went from Coach Carter to do a 3 picture deal. He said that he thought the three picture deal was a great deal. He said that in the meantime he was getting other work. He said the G.I. Joe script came to him and he wanted to play Snake Eyes. He said he didn't get that. He said the script wasn't any good. He said he didn't want to do it because he likes G.I. Joe. He said that he didn't know if he wanted to be G.I. Joe. Howard said the script was originally attached to Mark Wahlberg. He said he was too old at the time. Howard said that was the intent. Channing said he had no idea. Howard said they found Channing instead. Howard said he has seen that movie and he loves it. He said he loves action films. He said he doesn't need them to have the best script. Channing said he could have been given some really bad film that he didn't want to do. He said it really wasn't all that bad. He had to do it though. He said he was in that 3 picture deal. Howard said that the movie grossed over $300 million. Howard asked if the job offers started coming in after that. Channing said maybe not from the people you want calling. Robin said he can get those people on the phone though. Channing said that the Coen brothers aren't watching G.I. Joe.
Howard said you'd think that you'd want to avoid doing a 21 Jumpstreet remake. Howard asked why he agreed to do it. Channing said he doesn't know. He said he wasn't into the TV show. Howard said it's one of his favorite movies. Howard said Jonah Hill called and said he had to do it. Channing said that he thinks some other people passed and then Jonah had the idea for him. Howard said that he must wonder why everyone is passing on it. Channing said he just wanted to work with Jonah. He said he even told him it was a terrible idea. Channing said he told him he'd be great in it though. Channing said his entire team told him that it was a bad idea to do it. He said he's just a fan of Jonah's and he loves the guy.
Howard said PR people will tell him that he can't demolish his career with that. He said that you have to have some arrogance to make that decision. Channing said he likes to fuck with his team. He said anything that makes them worry is something he'll do.
Howard asked if he worries about box office. Channing said not really. He said he just wants to do something different than the last movie. Howard asked if he was shocked at how much money Magic Mike made. Channing said he was. He said it wasn't supposed to make that kind of money. He said that he had back end money on that movie. He said no one got paid. Howard asked about why the other people didn't come back to do the second one. Channing said that Matthew McConaughey thought he had done what he could with that character in the movie. He said they wanted him back and really tried to get him. Channing said he thinks he wondered why he was going to revamp the same character and take his shirt off again. He said he really is the best part of Magic Mike 1. He said that he just gets why he didn't want to do it again.
Howard asked if Channing thinks about making a sequel and worries that it's not going to work. Channing said that they made Jumpstreet 2 and he's shocked they did that. Howard said they're coming out with a third one too. Channing said they had some things they didn't fit into the first Magic Mike that they wanted to put in the second one. Howard said that they cover the male stripper convention. Howard said that they're exchanging ideas with guys in thongs. Howard asked what they discuss there. Channing said they talk about thongs and stuff like that.
Howard asked if Channing is upset that he didn't get nominated for Foxcatcher. Channing said he thinks that stuff comes along later in life. He said that he's okay with it. Channing said that none of them ever thought about that.
Howard asked Channing how he knew to make that movie. He asked if he knew he could act his ass off. Channing said he did want to challenge himself. He said he doesn't know that he knew he could do it. Howard said he had to do 4 or 5 months on a film and he must not have gotten paid very well. Channing said that he thinks they looked at it as Bennett Miller directing it and it was something he had to do. He said the wrestling training broke him. He said that he's done boxing, football and marital arts and nothing was more painful than wrestling. He said he didn't have to worry too much about the weight but you have to gauge your exhaustion. He said you can't lean on anyone when you're wrestling.
Howard said that Channing read the script and didn't understand it. Channing said that he thought that there had to be a resolution in the movie and there wasn't one. Howard said that movie is just more about life and life not making much sense. Howard said that the guy he played was pissed at the movie because he felt it was homo erotic. Channing said that Mark never saw that coming. He said that he wanted Bennett to correct that. Howard asked if Bennett thought that du Pont was in love. Channing said he's not even sure that's what it was.
Howard said that movie shook him to his core. He said it was a crazy story. Channing said that he was a real advocate for the sport. Howard said the movie reminds you that the Olympians get nothing. Channing said that it's the ultimate sacrifice and it's fascinating to him.
Howard said Magic Mike XXL is coming out and he's on the cover of People magazine. Howard said he must have to watch his weight like a crazy person. Channing said he does. Robin said he had to bulk up for that wrestling movie. Channing said that was tough. He said he will never be in another wrestling movie. Howard said he thought he'd be upset about not getting the Oscar nomination. Channing said he was a stripper and he can't believe he's even in a conversation about the Oscars. He said in 10 years he may not even remember who was nominated. He said that film will be remembered and he was part of that work of art.
Howard said that he's going to be in a Quentin Tarantino movie. Channing said that the script is so great. He said Quentin rewrote the script after it was released on the internet. He said he's not sure why anyone would do that. Channing said that he doesn't even watch the behind the scenes stuff on DVDs. Howard said there are people who are miserable and they want to ruin things for other people.
Howard said Channing is also working on Gambit the comic book character. Howard said that he's producing that. Howard asked if that's hard to get he rights to. Channing said that they're just producing it. He said they should be starting at the end of the year. He said they just found their director last month. Channing said they're going to do Gambit and he'll produce that but then he and his partner will start directing. He said they have to learn all of that stuff.
Howard asked how he says no to anything when he's got so much going on. Channing said that he has to be able to look at his daughter and say it's worth taking time away from her. He said that it's not about the box office. He said he does stuff that he loves doing.
Howard asked if he's going to be part of the reboot of Ghostbusters. Channing said that whole thing has gotten kind of messy. He said he's not sure what's going to happen. Howard said he thought Dan Aykroyd was doing the new one. Channing said he would love to do it but there are a lot of people in the pool. Howard said maybe if the female one comes out maybe people won't want to see the male version. Channing said that there are some people who have never seen the originals and maybe they'd like a new one. He said that some people don't want them to remake the movie. He said they're nowhere near doing the new one. He said they're shooting one now with the all female cast.
Howard said he read a story about the girl who plays the Khaleesi (Emilia Clarke) who said that she met Channing and she would offer herself in a threesome. Howard asked if his wife gets angry at that or is there any entertaining of that. Channing said that if his wife was going to entertain that it would be with the Khaleesi. He said that he thinks he called his wife Khaleesi for a while. Channing said that she actually said something to them at dinner. He said he thinks his penis went right up when he heard that. He said he'd love for that to happen. Howard asked how he and his wife deal with that.
Howard said there must be a tremendous jealousy there. Howard said most marriages go bust in Hollywood. Channing said the temptation isn't really a problem. He said that there is no room for that to squeak in. Channing said he has had long term relationships and then some crazy playing between and then another long relationship. He said it never really is a thing. Howard said he understands that. Howard said the thing about Hollywood is that if he's away for 3 weeks doing a film then it can get weird. Channing said they have a 2 week rule. He said they don't let it go longer than that usually.
Howard asked Channing about burning his cock and balls. Howard said he was working on The Eagle and it was so cold that guys would pour warm water down their pants. Howard said someone handed him a cup of scalding hot water and didn't tell him. Channing said he was screaming and had to jump into a river. He said that the guy was running up and own a hill to get boiling water to run back down to them. He said he was just there to keep him warm. He said that the guy didn't get all the way down the hill when he gave him the water. He said he took the water and it was the worst thing. He said that the burning keeps burning. He said it was like 20-30 minutes of pain. He said that he thought he was going to lose his dick. He said the ambulance driver told him that it's good that it hurts or else it means there is nerve damage. Channing said there was a radio playing in the ambulance and the song was ''Your Sex is on Fire''. He said he's not kidding.
Howard asked if Channing worried that meeting his wife on the set of a movie was real or not. Channing said all you can do it just go with it. He said he had just gotten out of a 3 year relationship before that. He said it was just a Philly girl he was with. Howard said that's impossible. Howard said that he's pretty monogamous. Howard said he meets Jenna on the movie set. Channing said he was in no way ready to get into a relationship. Then he convinced himself that he was ready when he met Jenna. Howard asked if they had sex right away. Channing said it was a few months. He said it was maybe 3. Howard said he'd wait maybe a week to bang Channing. Robin said if they had one hot night it could have been 3 months of torture. Channing said they were doing enough. He said they wanted it to be special.
Howard asked if he has come close or been tempted by models. Channing said he can honestly say no. He said Jenna does not let him even dream about another girl. He said she'll ask him what's up if she thinks that he had a dream about another girl. He said she knows how to keep him there.
Howard said Channing is in the new Magic Mike XXL movie that's coming out on July 1st. Howard asked how bad the penis burn was. Channing said he didn't have skin on his penis. He said there is no scarring there either. Robin said it would be awful if he was burned and scarred there. Howard asked if he ever went to jail for killing the guy who burned his balls. Channing said he bought him a nice bottle of Whisky and they're fine.
Howard asked how quickly it healed. Channing said he was fine a week later. He said that it heals very quickly down there. Howard asked if he's circumcised. Channing said he is. He said he put bandages on it that the doctor gave him. He said he had to go to the bathroom one night after drinking and he didn't have the tape on the gauze right. He said he was on his knees with his shriveled burnt penis crying trying to pee. He was on the floor just saying ''Why god! What did I do?''
Howard said Channing is going to be doing an Evel Knievel movie. Channing said he's working on that. He said he's pretty good on a bike so he'll see how that goes.
Robin said a lot of guys won't see Magic Mike. Channing said that he hopes they will. He said it's made like a buddy movie. Howard said everyone should go see it. Howard said that he thinks that the most impressive thing about him is his magic cock. Howard wished him luck with the movie and all of his projects and then went to break.
Howard said Arnold Schwarzenegger will be in tomorrow. Howard had a clip of a phony Arnold talking about coming in and seeing Robin.
Howard said it's time for Robin's news. They played her in with a song parody about her. Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he was listening to the replay about the iPad and it occurred to him that Gary must have a problem with him. Gary said he doesn't have a big problem with him. He said Jeff could work for a living. He said that he's not keeping him off the show or anything. Jeff said that Gary seems like an asshole to him. Gary said he's not sure what the problem is. He said that he thinks he's mad at him because they don't have the same opportunities for him that they used to.
Howard asked why Jeff hung up on The Lump earlier. Jeff said he's sick of that. Gary came in and said that Jeff is mad at him for blocking him from getting the iPad. Gary said he told Howard that he needed service and that's what got him to say no. Howard said he gave The Lump the iPad instead of Jeff. The Lump was on the phone and thanked him or that. Howard said Jeff would have gotten it if he hadn't hung up. The Lump said he's oozing all over his iPad right now.
Howard asked The Lump how he's doing. The Lump said that he's doing okay. He said he likes Gary. Jeff said of course he does. He got the iPad. The Lump said that Jeff shit twice today and he really smells. He said he's just north of the dead arm today. He said he can smell his ass from there. Howard asked if that's the worst part of being the lump on his body. The Lump said it is. He said that he may go up to his head instead so he can hide from all of that.
Howard said Jeff thought this was Eric Andre pretending to be The Lump but it's not. He said Eric issued a statement saying he's not The Lump. The Lump said that he's just another asshole with too much spare time in the morning just like Jeff. He said that people are setting up Twitter accounts for him.
Gary said someone called Jeff and booked him on a pretty decent gig. Jeff said that was in the works for a while. Howard said that it's part of the show and his appearances there. Jeff said he knows. He said anything he gets is because of him. Howard said that's not his point. He spent another minute with Jeff and The Lump. He let them go a short time later.
Howard said it's time for some news. Robin got to her news and started off with a story about the President using the N-word as if he used it. Robin said he was describing something and he used it appropriately. Robin said she has the clip there. Robin had Howard play it. Robin said that people are treating it like he was using it in a way that wasn't right. Robin said he was trying to explain racial relations in this country when he used it. Robin said he said this on the Marc Maron WTF podcast. Robin read about how some other presidents used the N-word in derogatory ways. Robin had some quotes from a few. That somehow led to Howard talking about World War II and why we ended up bombing the Japanese and not the Germans. Robin didn't agree with what Howard was saying about why we bombed them. Howard said they estimated that it would have cost us a million casualties to fight them. Robin said that they have to think about how the President thought of the Asians.
Robin had some audio of governor Nikki Haley talking about removing the confederate flag from the statehouse in South Carolina. Robin said that's what everyone is calling for now. Robin said that the confederate flag may stop flying over government buildings. Howard said he got a lot of email about that yesterday. He said there are people who are offended by it because it represents a bad time in our country when some states wanted to keep slavery laws instated. Howard said that it sets an environment when you don't do anything about it. Robin said a lot of racists wave that flag. Howard said if you want that flag in your house then knock yourself out.
Robin said at least one black church in Florida was threatened after the South Carolina shooting. Robin said that they're telling people to keep their eyes open. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Jon Stewart talking about the murders in South Carolina. Robin had some audio of Jon talking about why it would be best to take that flag down. Robin said he was calling out FOX news over something they did in their coverage of the shootings.
Robin read a story about how they're getting to the end of the Jon Stewart era. Robin said Al Franken was on The Daily Show and spoke out about a bill he'd like to get passed. Robin said he also thanked Jon for getting the younger generation interested in politics. Franken said not enough to vote but enough to rock the vote.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she loves JD and she can relate to him. She asked if he has been to etiquette school or met his girlfriend's parents yet. JD said he did meet them. He didn't go to etiquette school though. JD said it went fine. He said he went up to where she lives and they went to brunch. He said it went fine. Howard asked if they were okay with him. JD said that he asked if anyone had a problem with him and she said they were fine. JD said he didn't really eat a lot. Howard said you know it didn't go well. He said the parents were probably mortified. Howard said JD doesn't come off that well. JD said he knows he's not the most outgoing and social. He said he thinks things went fine though.
Howard asked if he asked them questions. JD said he probably did. He didn't remember what he asked. Howard said JD didn't ask anything. He said he didn't instigate any conversation. Howard said that people don't want people at their house who don't ask questions. JD said he talked when he had something to say. Howard asked if he asked questions about what her father does or anything. JD said he already knew. Howard said you ask more to find out from the source. JD didn't have anything to say. He said everything went fine. Robin said he should have taken that class. Howard said he told him to. Howard asked if the girlfriend said he impressed the parents. JD said she didn't. JD said he's not a talker or a socialize. He said he did what he could. Robin said he's sleeping with their daughter. JD said he's not going to get into that. Howard said everyone knows he's sleeping with her. Howard said he's sure they had dreams about the man who deflowered their daughter and JD is just siting there saying he doesn't talk much. Howard said just asking them about their home or something is how you can do it.
Howard said he has JD's future father in law on the phone. He picked up and it was a guy (Jeff the Drunk's Lump) saying that he just asked about spoons the whole night. He goofed on JD for a few seconds. JD said this was just the first meeting and it'll get better. Robin said first impressions are important.
Howard pretended to be the father talking to JD. He had a conversation with him about the girlfriend. JD was having problems with his brain. He said his brain locked just talking to Howard. Howard asked what he almost said. JD said he almost said what her dad's name was. Howard said he has only answered questions so far. JD said he thought he was leading the conversation. JD talked about how he got hired and asked what Mr. Dad did for a living. JD said something about not wanting to study hard and Howard told him to get the fuck out of his house. He said he heard from his daughter that he spent over $10,000 on porn and cums in his t-shirts. JD said they don't have to get into any of that. Howard said he has to get engaged in a discussion with these people if he meets them again.
Howard said he heard that the girlfriend may move in with JD. JD said that it's not going to happen for a little more time. He said that she's living with him at the moment. He said she's on a vacation so she's living with him. He said when she's there she's with him. Howard asked if she has her own drawer. JD said he's not sure he has a drawer. She has to keep her stuff in her bag for now. Howard asked if she's thinking about moving in. JD said they have both discussed it. Howard said he won't bust his balls. JD said ''Until next time...''
Howard asked if she cooks dinner for him. JD said she has. He said it's very nice. Howard asked if she freaks out over the roaches. JD said there are none there. Howard and Fred did their impressions of JD for a short time. They goofed on him asking for fish fillets for dinner and things like that.
Howard asked JD what he does when he has to take a stinky shit. JD said he's not getting into this. He said you just open a window. Howard asked if he smells her shit. JD said no. Howard said she probably shits while he's away. Howard said she probably shits out the window. Howard said it's a lot of progress for JD. He said congratulations. JD thanked him for that.
Howard asked JD what his definition of love is. JD said it's wanting to be with someone you can stand. He said you want to be around them and stuff like that. Robin said ''I can stand you.'' Fred said in his JD voice ''You don't totally suck. You can stay.''
Robin got back to her news and said that Taylor Swift spoke about Apple not paying artists during their ''free trial'' but they have changed their tune and will be paying them. Howard said if Taylor Swift was an artist 20 years ago she would have sold over 20 million albums. He said she's a huge star. Howard said Apple agreed to pay thanks to her. Robin said they are a wealthy company and they were going to rob artists by not paying them for 3 months. Robin said she may go down in history for helping other artists. Howard wondered if they'll ever see her nude. Robin said probably.
Robin read a story about P. Diddy getting arrested at a college that his son goes to. Robin said that he got into some words with someone on the staff and he went after the guy with a Kettlebell. Howard said he thought that guys knew better than to get involved in stuff their kids are doing. Robin said no one was seriously injured. Robin said he was released on $50,000 bond.
Robin read a story about the prison escapees in New York state. Robin said they were hiding in a cabin and the owner ran across them when he went to check on his cabin. Robin said that they ran away when the owner scared them off. That led to the guys talking about how that cabin is owned by a bunch of people at the prison and it's possible that someone was involved in getting them there. Robin said that the more desperate they become the more dangerous they will become. Howard said they've already killed people so they are already in prison for life. Robin read about the husband of the female guard who helped get tools to the prisoners is speaking out. Robin said he spoke to Matt Lauer about that. Robin had some audio from that interview.
Robin read a story about General Mills removing all unnatural colors and flavors from their cereal. Howard said that's going to make their stuff bland. Howard said he wanted Trix so bad when he was a kid. He said he begged for it. Then he tried it and it tasted like shit. He said it was awful. Howard said Sugar Pops are good. He said Cocoa Puffs are awful. He said Lucky Charms are shit too. He said it's the worst. He said Count Chocula is horrible. Robin said some will take longer to reformulate than others. Robin said that Lucky Charms does well in the adult market. Howard sounded shocked by that. Howard said he's amazed that they can make a profit off of any of this stuff. Howard said he had to eat the whole box of Trix. He said his parents would have killed him if he hadn't. Howard said you'd think that he committed a murder if he didn't eat it all. He said that it could have been a $3 mistake and his parents would have gotten so upset. Howard did his mother and father's voices talking about the cereal.
Robin read a story about Brian Williams and how he's going to get a cold reception when he shows up to work at MSNBC. Howard said that guy is so out of it. Howard said that he proved his point times 10 that these guys are just talking heads. Howard said all he had to do was admit he lied. He said he fucked it up so beautifully. He said anchor men are morons. He said they can't handle anything. Howard said that guy fucked up. He said he has no self awareness at all. He said he's got nothing. Robin said Rachel Maddow said she's happy to have Brian Williams joining them.
Robin read a story about how Caitlyn Jenner celebrated Father's day with her children. Howard said he liked her dress in the photo. Howard said she has dude's feet but wears women's shoes. Howard said she had a dress on but the feet fuck it all up. Howard said that her feet are a little bit. Fred did his Herman Munster/Nicole Bass voice and talked about that for a short time. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show after that. They were done around 11:25am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon said that Tan Mom fell for that prank that Sal and Richard pulled on her. Jon asked what the poll is about today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''What was your favorite Wack Pack moment from today's show?'' and the choices are:
Jon said that he wants to tackle those in the first segment. Riki asked if anyone has quit and never come back. Jon said they often come back. He said Eric the Actor came back as Derrick from Texas. Jon said he's not sure if there was ever one who left. Jon said that John the Stutterer hasn't been heard from in a long time. Crackhead Bob hasn't been on for a while. Jon said that Jeff's minute and a half might be the shortest. Jon said the thing he loves about Bobo is that he refers to himself in the third person. He said that these people crave attention. He said that people always want something from Howard. Riki asked who asks for the most. Jon said that Hanzi asks for a lot. He said that's what makes them appealing as Wack Packers though. Jon said Jeff expects an iPad now that Howard brought that up even though he didn't make the offer to him.
Jon said that the Tan Mom thing was good today. Rahsaan said that gets his vote. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Jon said he wants to talk about Perez Hilton who was in today. Jon said that it was a year ago to the date that he stuck a finger up Benjy's ass. Gary said he feels a real bond with him over that. Gary said he was laying on the bed next to Benjy and looking at Perez's face. He said he's a funny dude. Gary said he listened to the yelling clip this morning and he was looking Benjy in the eye at the time. He said he thought that he looked okay but the screaming was really bad and Howard was yelling at him to stop. Jon played a clip from a year ago when Perez stuck his finger up Benjy's ass.
Jon said that Howard said it was one of the greatest moments on the show. Gary said it is very memorable for him. He said they were in Perez's ''fuck room'' apartment and it was like 10 in the morning and there was screaming going on like that. He said he expected someone to knock on the door. Gary said Perez said he felt weird doing it and he blew his relationship over it. Jon said later they found out about Perez doing Big Brother and how he broke down on that show. Gary said he's usually pretty together but they broke him on that show.
Jon said that you want things you need a paying gig. Riki said she did a Beef Jerky commercial once. She said that she worked in a McDonald's inside a Walmart. She said she figured that it could only go up from there. She said she didn't love it there. Gary said Perez said he got paid a boatload of money and he was trying to get kicked off the show because they would pay him either way. Riki said she's never had a big paying gig like that. She said she's up for it though.
Jon said that Riki didn't have an agent for years. She said it was crazy. Jon said she got Million Dollar Baby and she thought she'd get an agent after that. She said she didn't get one for another year after that. She said shooting that movie was great. She said her first scene was with Hillary Swank and Margo Martindale with Clint Eastwood. She said it was pretty amazing.
Jon said that Channing Tatum talked about how he wasn't too upset about not being nominated for an Oscar because he's just happy that he's doing what he does. Riki said that his life must be amazing experience after amazing experience. Gary said things are just sort of happening for him. He said he's not out there trying to be famous. Riki said he seems ballsy too. She said he took 21 Jumpstreet when everyone told him not to. Gary said he loved that he said he hated G.I. Joe. He said that's ballsy to say that too. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Jon said that Tan Mom comes on and she surprises you with what she says. Riki said that whole thing with the Amy Poehler question was great. She said that she actually thought she was serious with that question. Gary said that Tan Mom might have to be moved up in his Wack Pack list. Jon said he thinks she's a Wack Packer. Gary said the greatest thing she did was fall on the red carpet at Howard's birthday bash. Gary said Tan Mom can't pronounce Amy Poehler or Amy Schumer's last names. He loved that too.
Jon said Channing Tatum talked about burning his penis with the water. He also talked about wrestling and how he did that for the movie Foxcatcher. He said that Gary knows what it's like being a wrestler. Gary said being pinned in front of people is the worst. He said it's very emasculating. He said that you wrestle to have the feeling of emasculating someone else though. He said that's why he did it.
Jon said Channing talked about being scared to host Saturday Night Live. He said Sam Jackson told him to learn the conversation and don't learn the script. Jon said it must not be tough for Riki since she does improv. Riki said she has a tough time learning her lines. She said that she might have to take that advice and learn the conversation. She said if you read for Aaron Sorkin you know that you have to read it word for word though.
Jon said that Channing also talked about how his dad found out that he was a dancer by watching him on Ellen. Jon said that his dad thought he failed him but that wasn't the case. He said Channing wanted to do that for fun.
Riki said her parents never talked about sex or anything and they talk to her about her show like they liked it but they don't talk about the things she talks about. She said she talks about sex and they just won't comment on it. She said if you think about what your parents want then you'll never be funny. Gary said that you have to think about what they don't want.
Jon said they talked about the 2 week rule with Channing and his wife. Jon said those are pretty wise rules to live by. Riki said they are so good looking too. She said they both have options. Jon said when the Khaleesi walks up and says she'd have sex with you then you know they have options. Gary said that he's not sure what her real name even is. He said she's just the Khaleesi. Jon said she really is. He said Channing was really into it too. Gary said he had the guy move and let his wife react to it. Gary said that's the way to go.
Jon asked Rahsaan what the poll results were. Rahsaan said that Tan Mom won with 45 percent of the votes. Bobo and The Lump came in second in a tie. Last place was Jeff the Drunk. Gary said Jeff is really mad at him for pointing it out to Howard that he needs the service and not just an iPad. Gary said that Jeff could work if he wants to. He said that he had a job stamping hands at a pool. He said there are jobs out there for him. Riki said he doesn't seem motivated enough to get one. Gary said he's a can't do kind of guy.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and for Riki before ended the show. They were done around 12:05pm.
Howard started the show talking about this being the date that Paul Winchell died. Howard said he's the creator of Jerry Mahoney and Knucklehead Smith. Howard said he also watched the new True Detective the other night. He said that the reviews weren't good and he wasn't going to watch it. He said they thought that Colin Farrell wasn't very good. He said they also thought that Vince Vaughn wasn't going to be good. He said they're wrong and the show is very good. Howard said about 4.5 million people tuned in to watch it. He said he's going to be watching it too. Robin said she doesn't think it's fair to count DVR recording. Howard said they should.
Robin said she's not a big Vince Vaughn fan or even a Colin Farrell fan. Howard said he is. He said Colin's character is a lunatic and he thinks she'll like the show.
Howard said he's had some issues with Prince lately. He said he went to a show and he got incensed when he did the show with the lights out. Howard said he wasn't happy about that. He said nevertheless... and stared doing his Riley Martin impression. Then he played a fake Riley Martin show clip where Riley was sounding really out of it. Howard said that's actually Matt Jacobs. Howard said that guy is great. He said he does High Pitch and Joey Boots too. He said he's a great impressionist.
Howard got back to Prince and talked about how he loves his music. Howard said forgetting Purple Rain which his maybe his favorite song they can't overlook Batdance. Howard said he has been hard on Prince but that is the greatest soundtrack ever in the history of film. Howard said that he did that for the original Batman movie. Howard said he incorporated the movie into the music and that was so unique to him. Howard played some of that song. He said it's unbelievable. Howard said that's just one song from the album.
Howard said name one song that's better. Robin said ''Shaft.'' Howard laughed. Howard was singing along to the ''Batman'' parts in the song.
Howard told Robin this celebrates Batman the movie. He said it brings it back to you. Howard asked how she can argue with that. Robin said at least Shaft is in the movie. Howard said he's dizzy from this. Howard said he'd probably sleep with Prince. He said he's going to take that back. He said he may have gotten carried away.
Fred stopped the song. Howard said he was just getting into it. Fred said he thought he was done with it. Howard said the song shifts into another song. Howard said he'd rater talk about Robin anyway.
Howard played a bit that they made about Robin as if she were a Ice Coffee dispenser. Howard said Fred gave him a Bat Buzzkill. Fred tried playing it again but he wasn't at the right spot. Howard asked why he'd kill it. Fred said he sounded like he was done. Fred gave him Bat Blue Balls.
Howard said Arnold Schwarzenegger is coming in today. He said the guy is a genius. He said they're bringing back Terminator. Robin said he's old and young in the movie. She asked how they do that. Howard said they'll ask when he comes in. Robin asked why terminator ages. Howard said he knows the answer to that but they'll wait for him to come in.
Howard said that they got a call from a telemarketer at the show and they were armed with their Riley Martin drops. Howard played the call where this telemarketer was asking questions and the guys were answering with Riley Martin clips. The woman was trying to sell some kind of medication and they had Riley coughing. They went to break after that.
Howard said in 2010 this guy with the machete was arrested or waving a machete around. Howard said the guy is out of jail already. Howard said a guy like that should be in jail for life. Robin said he should be in a mental institution until he's declared not insane. Robin said he'd be in forever because he's not sane. Howard said this idea of walking down the street and waving a machete is crazy. He said this woman got cut by this guy. Howard said it could have been avoided if they had put him in a mental institution.
Howard said his uncle Bob was a cop and he took care of someone who was waving an axe around. Howard said he told him to put it down, the guy swung at him and his uncle killed the guy. He said that was the end of it. Robin said he'd be in a world of trouble today. Howard said she's probably right. Howard said his uncle had to go through a hearing and it's almost like a mini trial. He said he was praised for what he did though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that America's Got Talent had him in tears last night. He said the editing can do that. Howard said his friend called saying she was crying too. Howard said it's a fine show. He said this is his fourth season and he thinks it's the best so far. Howard said they have guest judges coming in soon. He said that should be good. Robin said she's wondering who will make it to the live shows. Howard said he likes the live shows. He said he likes the rhythm of them.
Howard said he's going through his own career evaluation right now. He said he's too fucking busy this year with America's Got Talent and the radio show. Howard said something's got to give. He said that NBC has asked what his intentions are for next year. He said he told them that it's his last season. He said that's very hard to do. He said they said if he doesn't come back then they don't do the show in New York anymore. Howard said he likes the people at NBC. He said they're great people. He said that he has a nice friendship with Nick Cannon. He said that he deserves an Emmy for hosting. Howard said it's racism if they don't give him one. Howard said Nick does a fine job with the show. Howard said it's a nice crew there.
Howard said he thinks it's fair to say it's his last season on America's Got Talent. He said Sirius wants him to do the show some more. He said he has to think that through. He said he has been made an offer in TV that excites him. He said that he can't do America's Got Talent, the radio show and this TV opportunity. Howard said he thinks that he's done with the America's Got Talent thing. Howard said he liked doing the show but he has to have a break in his schedule. He said they told him to think about it until July 4th. He said he already told his agent that he's not going to do it. He said they can move on with their plans. He said he will continue to be a fan of the show and enjoy the live shows. Howard said he feels funny leaving it but he thinks he's leaving it in good hands. Howard said he thinks it's taken more seriously now. Howard said he thinks it's cool now.
Howard said he thinks he accomplished what he wanted to with that show. Robin said hopefully they can maintain that standard in his absence. Howard said hopefully they can. Robin asked how many people he's yelled at for leaving successful shows. Howard said he can hear his dad's voice in his head asking about that. Howard said he talked to his parents last summer and his mom asked what he was doing to himself. He said she wondered why he was torturing himself. Howard said they told him not to do it again.
Howard said they started out with 400,000 subscribers there and now they have like 27 or 28 million. Howard said he believed they could have 30 million. He said today it is a big service. He said he's very proud of that and he thinks they had something to do with that in a big way. Howard said he feels allegiance to the company so they'll see what happens. He said he has two different TV companies offering him a deal. Howard said they both have a similar idea for him. He said one doesn't know about the other. He said he doesn't see how he can keep going with America's Got Talent this year. He said he doesn't want to hang them up. Howard said he's done. He said he wrote it in his journal. Robin said if it's in there then it must be true. Howard said the one about firing Benjy never came true. He said he wrote that one in pencil.
Howard said Benjy is all skinny now. He said he looks like someone stuck a pin in him. Benjy said he feels a lot better in clothes. He said he's still working on himself. Howard said he's thin but flabby. He said his face looks better. He said he's not as grotesque. Benjy laughed. He said he still wants to lose about 30-40 pounds. Howard said that won't happen. He said he lacks the will power. Benjy asked if he wants to bet. Howard said no.
Robin asked if Benjy came up with a new challenge for Perez. Howard said he checked and he's still thinking about it. Howard said Benjy looks like an empty garbage bag. He said he's shrinking.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he agrees with Howie Mandel about the guy who did the Shake it Off song being the best ever on the show. Howard said no. He said they may have edited out his comments. Howard said Howie can get carried away at times. Howard said the guy played much better in person than it came across on TV. The caller said he was good but not great. Howard said they put through a lot of good. He said they do that because some acts that go through to the end start out good and they're like a diamond in the rough. Howard said if they don't like them in the second audition then they get rid of them. The caller said Howard is doing a hell of a job. Howard thanked him for that.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who said that ''I told you not to be stupid you moron'' is the best tape on the show. He asked if he has more tape that they haven't played. Howard said his dad used to give him records from the recording sessions. Howard said he used to tape record himself too. He said there is probably more stuff in his archives. Howard said that they have gone through it all. He played a clip of his mom singing a song that they had never played before. Howard said he used to get yelled at so much by his dad when they'd be there. He said his father thought acting like a child was acting ''stupid.'' Robin said a lot of people were like that. Howard said his father would go crazy over that. He said he busted his balls so much over that stuff. Howard said his mom was so afraid of him that she'd yell at him and his sister too. He said it's crazy. Howard said there is more stuff. Howard played a clip where he didn't know what to say so his parents were telling him what to say. They were trying to get him to sing a song about being a little white duck. Howard wanted to sing Jelly Beaner so they let him do that.
Howard said it was always such torture. He said he didn't have a repertoire and there was such yelling and screaming. Howard played another clip where his parents were trying to get him to sing and he didn't want to do it. Howard said he was miserable. Howard said he hated being in Manhattan. He said he hated that they knew words and knew how to sing and he didn't. He said he hated everyone in the room. Robin laughed. Howard said his cousins would come and there were too many people hogging the microphone. He said they could read and he wasn't able to yet. He said his mom was reading the lyrics.
Jim said it's great to listen to. Howard told him to go listen to it them. Jim wished Fred a happy 60th birthday. Fred thanked him for that. Howard said he didn't think Fred would make it to that age. Fred said neither did he.
Howard said he goes to his doctor and tries to stay on top of all of that stuff. Howard said he stopped eating red meat and things like that. He said if it's not real food he's not eating it. He said he eats natural foods or as close as he can get. He said he stopped eating turkey and chicken. He said that there are many reasons for that. Howard said you need a source of protein so he eats fish. He said he eats salmon and things like that. Robin said the smaller they are the better they are for you. Howard said he does this religiously. Howard said he's been eating pretty fucking healthy.
Howard said he went for a blood test and he gets a call saying that his mercury level is high. Howard said that he was at like a 30 which isn't crazy but he's creeping up. Howard asked what that's from. He said he knew full well that it's from the fish. Howard said he has 2 or 3 meals a day that are fish. Howard said the doctor told him he has to calm down with that. He said he was told to eat it 2 or 3 times a week. Howard said he was all upset about this last night. He said people say he's shaped like a thermometer and now he's turning into one.
Howard said he has this all figured out. He said for breakfast he will bring it in. He said he wants his yogurt with blueberries. He said it'll also have a scoop of granola. Howard said that's his breakfast. He said this presents a problem. He said he doesn't know how he'll get it there. He said he has to prepare it at home. Howard said he has to combine them. Robin said he can do that at work. Howard said he has to find 5 minutes in the morning to prepare. Robin said he can do it at night. Robin said he just puts the stuff in different things and run out the door in the morning. Howard said it sounds like he has to hire somebody. Howard said he's too fucking busy. He asked why everything is such hard work. He said he just wants to walk around free and easy. He said he's constantly carrying stuff. Robin said everyone is.
Howard asked Fred what he has for breakfast. Fred said he has a Balance bar. He said that it's probably not the best thing to have. Howard asked if it fills him up. Fred said it does. He said that he likes the one that tastes like a Snickers bar. Howard said he doesn't think that's good. Robin said it's not real food. Robin said it's very dry. Howard said he has to bring in the yogurt.
Howard said for lunch he's going to have eggs. He said that will be every day. Fred said the Caramel Nut Blast is the Balance bar he likes. Howard said that Fred is doing the wrong thing but it's not the first time. Fred said he eats chicken for lunch. Howard said he won't be doing that. Fred eats hot dogs but not that much. Fred said he eats Turkey dogs.
Howard said for dinner he'll have fish. He said 2 nights a week he has eggplant Parmesan. Howard said that he'll have fish 3 or 4 nights a week. Robin asked if his liver was okay. Howard said it was. He said he cut back on his wine. He said that he was having fun with wine but then he had a liver issue. Howard said that he has 2 drinks and he has a liver problem. Fred said as you get older it doesn't work as well.
The caller asked if he would write another book about his high school years into college. Howard said no. He said it would be huge. He said it would be worse than A Confederacy of Dunces. Howard said it would be worse than Johnny Got His Gun. Howard said no one could sit and read that and survive. He said it's a nightmare. Howard said it would be some book.
Howard played a clip from Breaking Bonaduce. In the clip Danny Bonaduce was freaking out on someone about men being in his bedroom with his wife and telling them what he would do.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she's trying to compose herself. She said America's Got Talent was amazing last night. She told Howard about that and that Beth is going to be on Good Day New York today. Howard said he's not sure which kittens will be on. Mariann asked if they're keeping Buddy the cat. Howard said Beth wants to but they have a family that wants him. Howard said he has to go. Mariann was saying something about the History of Howard Stern airing and asking something but Howard cut her off and hung up. Howard said she has so much energy. Howard said she has proven to be a real fan. Howard said she started calling in 100 years ago and she was a nice lady. Howard said that she never gave up. He said she's been there through it all.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to say that Howard is the best and the funniest segment he did was when he had Al Michaels on covering the OJ Simpson trial. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard played a song parody about Robin and went to break after that.
Howard said he gets so many negatives about Bobo. He said that he isn't sure if he should take his call. Howard picked up on him and said he doesn't mind Bobo but the fans don't like him. Bobo said the fans don't like him because they can't call in. He said they can get off their ass and call in. He said they're just jealous.
Bobo said last night he observed that Howard took his glasses off and he gave a look to Heidi. Howard said it was to Mel B. Howard said she likes that look.
Howard said Bobo has a Facebook page and it says he's married to a 5 year old. Howard said Bobo doesn't know what a comma is. Bobo said he does. Gary said it says ''Married 5 year old boy.'' Howard said he means ''Married, 5 year old boy.'' Howard said he should go back to school.
Howard let Bobo go and took another call from a guy who asked who he sees interviewing him when he's winding down his career. Howard said he's not looking to be interviewed by anyone. Howard said 60 Minutes did an interview with him and that was fine. He said he has done others with other people. Howard said he's done them all. Robin said maybe a Charlie Rose type would be good. Howard said Charlie Rose may not be around by the time he's done.
The caller asked why he likes being on America's Got Talent so much. Howard said he just announced this is his last season. Howard said he doesn't know how to keep doing it. Howard said he had fun watching the show and he liked it before he was offered the job. Howard said the people from NBC came and asked him to come do it.
Howard had a clip of what Brian Williams should have said in his interview with Matt Lauer. Howard said his wife relaxed him last night if you know what he means. Howard said she relaxed him. He said she's good looking. Robin said she is. Howard said he asks her every time if she's sure she wants to do that.
Howard said she's a saint. Howard said she not only helps animals but she helped this animal. Howard said she's like the woman in the Avengers who helps calm the Hulk down.
Howard played the clip of the fake Brian Williams doing an interview with Matt Lauer.
Howard said he got a lot of email about JD and his in laws. Howard read some of the stuff he got about that. He played a song parody about JD too.
Howard said Gary asked if he had to have one kid, would it be Hanzi, Sour Shoes or Wendy the Slow Adult. Howard said he can't chose Wendy because she's always shitting. Howard said she's like having a full time baby. Howard said Hanzi is scary. He said Sour Shoes is the one he'd pick. Howard said that Gary thought that Hanzi was good because he's in the basement all the time.
Howard said Hanzi left a long Voicemail about how he thinks that they gave Jeff the Drunk his plot line on the show. Howard played the clip and Hanzi was saying that he came up with the idea to do things on the show and they gave Jeff the Drunk his plot line. Hanzi said he calls up asking to be in TV shows and now Jeff is doing it. Howard said he should grow a lump if he believes that.
Howard said Gary said that Sour Shoes would be all over the house and he would be playing music all day. Gary said that Shuli told him that Hanzi is the hardest Wack Packer to get a hold of. He said at 7 at night he's up all night and then he sleeps all day. Howard said every Wack Packer's story line is to complain about not having money. Robin said Beetlejuice has never done that Howard said he is a lot to handle. Robin said Gary the Conqueror is hard to handle too. Gary said even Evil Dave is constantly looking for free shit. Howard said Beetlejuice pays his bills with marbles.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he ordered the Sour Shoes coloring book. Howard said it's a coloring book for adults. Howard said Sour came in there with his coloring book and he was actually coloring it. The caller said it came with crayons and stickers. He said it has a wife beating a husband with a 2x4. He said there's a chicken eating a guy out or something. He said he hasn't gone through half the pages yet. Howard said this is from a 37 year old guy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks they should keep the Confederate flag. He said that it's our history. He said if you forget history you're bound to repeat it. Howard said he's got some logic there. Robin said it doesn't belong on the state house though. Howard said assholes fought for that flag. Howard said that's the reason the flag is so painful. Howard said it's like saying to a Jew that we're going to fly the Nazi flag. Howard said it's too painful. He said you can have your flag in your house. He said you can hang it with your Swastika flag. The caller said he's not racist just because he has that flag. Howard said he's ignorant. Robin asked what the flag means to him. The caller said that's what his forefathers fought for. Howard said he doesn't have to remember his forefathers. Howard said he doesn't have the energy to argue this. He said there are other things to argue about. Howard spent a minute talking about the flag thing and then went to break.
Howard said that he has so many things to play. He said that Gary said ''Untuckit Shit'' instead of ''shirt.'' Howard played that clip and said Gary talks too fast sometimes.
Howard had a clip of Herschel Walker talking about playing Russian Roulette a couple of times. Howard played that clip and Hershel said that he was so fired up that he could overcome anything that he could do that. He said he didn't know that he wasn't happy with who he was. The interviewer asked how many times he did it. Herschel said it was more than once. Howard said that's crazy.
Howard said Jeff the Drunk was on the phone with Shuli yesterday after the show. Howard said Jeff quit the show again after yesterday's show. Howard played the clip and Jeff was whining about Howard offering him stuff and taking it away all the time. He said that Howard was going to give him an iPad and then Gary takes it away from him. He said he's fucking done, stick a fork in him. Jeff said he was done. Howard said within minutes he thought it through and changed his mind again. Jeff said he's fucking back. Robin said they don't even have time to miss him.
Howard said Jeff's lump is inspiring song parodies. Howard played one from Little Mikey to the tune of Van Halen's ''Jump.''
Howard said he has a clip of a fan calling into an NBC news program. Howard played that and the guy called in during a report and the caller said this accident was caused by a blast from Howard Stern's ass. The reporters continued on like it wasn't a phony phone call.
Memet said the subway station in his neighborhood has its own jail. He said he should have known it was going to be bad there. Howard said he doesn't even hang the microphone outside the window. Memet said he just records with his cell phone from bed.
Howard played a clip and there were people just yelling out in the street while music was blasting. Memet said it's playing all the time. Howard asked if he pokes his head out the window. Memet said he will take a quick peek. He said things are flying through the neighborhood all the time. Memet said that Ronnie told him there was an escaped murderer running down his street the other day.
Howard played another clip of a mother talking to her son in the street. She's talking about how she's his mother so he should listen to her.
Howard said it must be better in the apartment in the winter. Memet said not really because the heat wasn't working. He said he doesn't have air conditioning so he has to keep the windows open.
Howard played another clip where there was a party going on during the week outside his apartment. There was a lot of noise and screaming coming from the crowd outside.
Memet said he went out one night to get some ice cream. He said the freezer was locked in the store. He said that the store guy told him that they have to lock it up at night or the blacks will steal stuff. Memet
Howard said Memet went out and asked people for advice on living there in Harlem. He had one guy telling him that people may throw stuff at him so try to stay out of the way. A woman told him not to be so friendly with people. Another guy said that he has to think about what his ancestors did to them and he may get what he's supposed to get. Memet said that's what scares him.
Howard said he'd rather sleep in Jurassic Park than in Harlem. Memet said that took two days because the first person who did the interviews was too scared in his neighborhood. Howard said he thinks Jeff has it better than him. He said that it's quieter in his trailer. Memet said he can get 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night. He's powerless to do anything.
Robin said Memet needs a girlfriend who has a nice apartment. Howard said he knows that he's trying to get girls because he's always on Tinder. Memet said he meets a lot of girls on there. He said that he can get a girl and sleep with her the same night. Gary said he has had sex in some interesting places. Howard asked where he goes. Memet said he met one girl who wanted to meet at a diner. He said that they spoke for like 15 minutes and she asked him to go for a walk in Central Park. He said they were walking and then she asked if he had ever had sex in Central Park. He said no and they ended up doing it. Howard asked if they did it in the bushes. He said hey were right next to the road. He said cars were passing them. Memet said it was wild. He said he didn't think he could do anything like that but he did.
Gary told him to talk about the famous building he was at. Memet said this was the same girl. He said she must get off on this. He said she's really cute. Memet said her idea was to go visit the Empire State Building. He said they did it on the observation deck. Howard said there are cameras up there. Memet said this was really late at like 1 in the morning. He said there were maybe 10 people there. He said they went to the corner and did it. Howard told him to tell him more after Arnold. Howard asked if he's still seeing her. Memet said he is. He said they still have the Freedom Tower. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Arnold Schwarzenegger is there. He said the last time he was there was before he ran for Governor. Howard said that was like 2003 or something. Howard said that he's back. Howard said he's making his triumphant return. He said he's in Terminator Genisys that opens July 1st. Howard asked what happened to his ear. Howard asked how he's doing. Arnold asked why Robin is in a gas booth. Howard said he has his own headphones and they don't fit. Gary said they're their headphones. Arnold said he can hear Howard and Robin now. Howard said they ran out of time.
Arnold said Robin lost weight since he last saw her. Robin said he looks good. Howard asked if he's too thin. Arnold said no. He said you can never be too thin. Howard said he's 6'5'' and should weigh about 235. He said he weighs like 185. Howard asked if he could have been big like Arnold. Arnold said he could have been. He said we all have different genes and he may not have had the right physique. He said that there are some who get muscular and aren't in proportion. He said that he was very fortunate that he was meant for that sport. He said he played soccer but he wasn't good enough to be a champion. He said bodybuilding was his sport.
Howard said Arnold played sports as a kid. He said his coach took him to a gym and he fell in love with barbells. Howard asked if he knew he had potential to be a bodybuilder. Arnold said Lou Ferrigno had a well balanced body. He said he didn't stick with it for more years. He said he could have been Mr. Olympia. He said he was enormous. Howard asked if he was afraid of him at all. He said that he psyched him out in Pumping Iron. Howard asked if he was saying to himself that this Lou Ferrigno could derail his whole plan. Arnold said he needed another 2 or 3 years. He said he competed at the right time but you have to wait your turn. He said he as a 2 time Mr. Universe when he came to the United States. He said he wasn't mature enough to win the Mr. Olympia though. He said that you lose and you just keep going.
Howard said most people don't understand bodybuilding. He said it comes down to beauty and grace and not just the muscles. He said that you have to sculpt your body. Arnold said there are a lot of sports where that is the case. Arnold said the judges are looking for something and right now it's size. He said it's enormous muscle. He said the guys are going way beyond what they did back in his day. He said these guys today are enormous. He said they don't pay attention to the posing and presentation. He said that was important back in his day.
Howard asked if he ever thought that body building would lead to acting. Arnold said that they have talked about the body building. He said his dream was to make this a ticket into movies. He said he also wanted to lift and elevate the whole sport. He said both have been very successful. He said body builders are making a million plus a year on endorsements and things. He said you can't even find a hotel without a weight room in it. He said everyone is using weights. He said it's gotten huge. Arnold said that it's become very special. Arnold said that everyone is working out and that helped him with his career. He said Conan the Barbarian and Terminator took off. He said that he was never supposed to be a leading man but he became a leading man.
Howard said when Arnold got here people were saying that he wasn't going to make it. Howard said when you look at the list of movies he's done it's unbelievable how much box office gross he's made. Howard said Conan the Barbarian was the first major film he was in. He said Arnold was supposed to swing a sword but he wasn't able to do it because he was so muscular. Arnold said he had to practice. He said he worked for 2 and a half years with a sword master. He said he taught him and he had to retrain his body. He said he was able to swing the sword once he got on the set. Arnold said he was able to use all kinds of weapons. He said it was a lot of training.
Howard asked if he was shocked that they offered him the part in Conan. He said he had no track record. He said that a lot of actors must have been up for it. Arnold said he wasn't shocked. He said he was shocked when they asked him to do Hercules in New York. He said he was still working his way up with the body building thing. Howard said he didn't know English when he came here. Arnold said he didn't understand much. He said he knew very little. Arnold said it was his beginning stage. He said one day someone called the gym and asked about Hercules. He said that they didn't even ask him to talk. He said all he had to do was look proud.
Howard asked if he cared that they dubbed his voice in. Arnold said he was so amazed that he just got off the boat and got the work. He said it was true about how you come to America and become a star. He said he was in heaven just to be part of that movie. Howard said he was just off the boat and it's such a charming story.
Arnold said he did that movie in 1977 after he got there to the United States. He said that someone bought the rights to Conan and they were going to do a whole series. Howard asked if he thought that he was BS'ing him. Arnold said he believed him because his lawyer introduced him to the producer. He said he got the rights and then they got together with Dino De Laurentiis who was a great producer. He said that they got the director and they hired him to do Conan. He said it was with a huge studio too. Arnold said he was in. Howard said it took a guy like Dino to put him in a movie like that. Arnold said he was very fortunate to have that. He said they had 20 million to spend on that movie back then. He said today that would be like $150 million.
Arnold said the one thing they didn't like was the body to be too defined. He said that they had him calm down the definition and to just work more on the strength and horseback riding. He said he just had to look like a savage and a barbarian.
Howard asked if he took acting lessons back then. Arnold said he did. He said he has taken so many lessons on acting and accent removal. He said he should really get his money back. Howard asked if the other people looked at him like it was a joke. Arnold said some did. He said he also saw great admiration in acting class. He said everyone has a story and they admired that he was going to college and training for bodybuilding and working a job in cement work and all of that. He said he was doing that all at the same time.
Howard asked Arnold about quitting a gym in Austria because some guy came on to him. Arnold said as hungry as he was there was nothing that could have chased him away from bodybuilding. He said he was so determined that nothing could stop him. He said he did have a guy come on to him and when he said no he was thrown out of the gym. He said that he knew no one could stop him from doing what he wanted to. He said it just made him stronger. Robin asked where the mental strength comes from. Arnold said that he was in such need to become somebody. He said that he had a need of being somebody. He said that it was a tough life in Austria. He said he had to get out of there.
Howard asked if his parents thought he was a jerk for leaving the country and going to the United States. Arnold said his parents thought he was mentally ill. He said his mother went to their doctor and said there is something off with their son. He said that she would talk about how he'd come home at lunch and do 250 sit ups and eat quickly. He said that he had pictures of naked men on his wall instead of women. Arnold said that they were bodybuilders and not just naked men.
Howard asked how you know how to work out so hard and not injure yourself. Arnold said that he bought every magazine he could get a hold of. He said that he had old books on physical culture and he studied all of that. He said he'd do a certain exercise with 40 reps, 40 times. He said everyone needs a different training. He said he followed Reg Parks training. He said that he dissected the body and figured it all out. He said that he did what he had to do to be the best.
Howard asked if it's a lonely life. He said it seems like it would be going to the gym and worrying about what you're eating. Howard said it seems so solitary. Arnold said it was in a way. He said he had such joy though. He said he was so happy when he went to the gym. He said he never got a compliment when he was a boy. He said that it was more of a shaming thing. He said once he got into the gym he was impressing the guys there. He said after 3 months he was impressing them. He said by 16 he was competing in weight lifting and that built his confidence. Howard said it was the hard work that paid off. Arnold said that you can break new ground and he was determined to do that.
Howard said there's a book called Fear of Art and people will talk themselves down. He said you have to believe in yourself and work at it. He said that you have to do that to make it. Howard said that Arnold has had one of the biggest careers. He asked if he has ever figured out how much money his movies have made. Arnold said if you adjust it to today's money without a doubt. Arnold said Howard has done the same thing. He said if Howard had told someone that they would be sitting there with such a successful show no one would have believed it. Arnold said that he's sitting on the top of the world and that's because he had a clearer view of what he wanted to do. He said he stays true to himself.
Howard said when Conan comes out and it has a huge success, does his world change immediately. Howard said they were thinking about using OJ or Mel Gibson as the terminator. Howard said that they also discussed it with Tom Hanks. Howard said that Arnold wanted to play Kyle Reese. Howard said the director told him that the movie was about the terminator so he had to play that.
Arnold said that he was trying out for Kyle Reese. He said that he was talking about the terminator and he told them that he has to train himself to do weapon building blindfolded. He said that he's a machine so he doesn't have to look down. Arnold said that it had to be clear that he was a machine. Arnold said that went on for an hour. He said he was so amazed at Yul Brynner in Westworld that he felt they had to do this. He said James Cameron looked at him and said he should play the Terminator. Arnold said that he looked at how many lines he had to say he didn't want to go backwards. He said he wanted to perform. He said that James told him that he would make him the movie. He said he's a machine and he was acting a machine. Howard said he had the wisdom to listen to the guy. Howard said Arnold listened to Joe Weider too.
Howard said Arnold almost blew his biggest line ''I'll be back'' because he wanted to say ''I will be back.'' Howard said that James Cameron had to yell at him to say that the way he told him to. Arnold said he was a machine and he didn't want to say it like that. He said James told him to say ''I'll be back'' and he said ''What does the god damn script say?'' He said he told him not to correct his fucking writing and he won't correct his acting. Howard said Cameron knew that it was the right thing to say. Arnold said that he wrote it that way and he must have known it was going to be a big thing. Arnold said that he had kids coming up to him after the movie asking him to say ''I'll be back'' and they knew they had something big.
Howard asked if they knew they had a big hit with that movie. Arnold said that they didn't make movies like that to be big hits. They were the B-movies. Arnold said that he saw that he could be a leading man after that. He said that so many people said it wasn't possible. He said everything turned around.
Howard asked Arnold if he went to people and said to them politely ''fuck you.'' Arnold said he did not. He said that it's the land of opportunity and this kind of thing can happen. He said he had many supporters as he was working and he had enough people who said yes that he doesn't have to worry about the people who said no. Arnold said success is the best form of revenge.
Howard said that Terminator Genisys is coming out and everyone is excited about that. Howard asked Arnold about what kind of training he did for the first movie. Arnold said that he trained to put a weapon together without looking by wearing a blindfold. He said that he thinks it's the same when you load and shoot too. He said it's all about reps. Howard said he took it so seriously that he didn't get to know the actors. He said he stayed by himself. Arnold said he was worried about the other actors. He said he wanted them to fear him as the robot. He said he wanted to intimidate. Arnold said that it becomes more believable.
Howard said to play a robot is hard to pull off. Arnold said they talk with emotions but when he's the robot he's emotionless. He said that he has to keep that in mind all the time. Arnold said he doesn't understand being hugged by Sarah Connor.
Howard said he saw Terminator Genisys and he loved it. He said they figured out how to make him age and all of that. He said he's still the major person in the movie. Robin asked how a robot ages. Howard said he can explain it. Arnold said they did something very smart and dealt with it. He said the terminator wasn't able to use a time machine so he had metal in him so they aged him. He said the skeleton inside doesn't age but the exterior ages like a human being. Howard said you buy it in the movie.
Howard said Arnold gets Predator and that's better than everything. He said it was Arnold and Jesse Ventura. Arnold said that he and Joel Silver talked about Jesse who was trying to get into movies. He said that he loved the idea of having him in there because he was in the military. Howard said he could have said he wanted an actor but he did the same thing for him that he did for himself. He believed in the guy. Arnold said he was a wrestler too so they felt that they could pull it off.
Howard said Jesse and Arnold both became governors. Howard said a third guy in the movie tried to run for governor but they didn't make it. Arnold said that was very strange. Howard said they were talking politics in the woods. Arnold said he was about to get married and Jesse was hanging behind the leaves in the jungle and he was saying ''I do'' in his voice.
Howard said he was shocked that Arnold got married when he did. He said he had money rolling in and he was the ''it'' guy. He said that some guys think the party stops at that point. Howard said that maybe getting married slowed him down and kept him alive. Arnold said it didn't slow down his movie carer.
Howard said that Arnold got the movie Twins next. Howard said that they thought he should do a comedy and Arnold said write him a comedy. Howard said they come to him with a script where he and Danny DeVito are twins. Howard asked what he was thinking at that time. Arnold said that this was after they had spent the evening together with Ivan Reitman and Robin Williams. He said that they thought he was funny and they thought that they should see that on the screen. Arnold said he told them that Hollywood refuses to do a comedy with him. He said Ivan said he would do something with him. He said he needed his help so Ivan put the project together. He said they called it The Experiment. He thought coming from Austria it wasn't a great idea. He said then they renamed it Twins. Arnold said that they had no idea who was going to play the twin and he came up with Danny DeVito since he's the complete opposite. He said they all signed a napkin to do a movie and they put the details together and made it.
Howard asked how long the movie took to write. Arnold said that he got a 5 page story maybe 2 months after they met in Aspen. He said they have another idea for a sequel where they find out that there are three of them and Eddie Murphy would be their brother. Arnold said Eddie loves the idea. He said the script has to be fine tuned. He said they think it's a very funny idea.
Howard said that Tom Arnold has told them how fun it is at his house. He said that he has bears, lions and tigers at his parties. Arnold said that he has to stop Tom from coming in there. He said he feels like he has a spokesperson in there. Howard said it sounds so fun. Arnold said he loves Tom Arnold. He said he's such a good human being. He said he has a heart. He said that you can ask him to help with anything and he's always there. He said he found ways to help him run for governor even though he's a democrat. Howard asked if he got upset with him telling the stories about his parties. Arnold said they expect that from Tom.
Arnold said he still hangs out with guys who were body builders. He said they all hang out with them. He said that they strip down and they'll all be hanging out. Arnold said he asked Tom when he's going to have a six pack. He said Tom will say he lost 26 pounds and he'll tell him to lose another 26.
Arnold said that the animals he has at the parties are there because they are rescued animals and they're there to be supported. He said he loves having them there. He said it's great when a Kangaroo starts running through the party. He said the kids love it and the adults love it. He said they're able to support the charity too. He said that they have to have a cleaning crew come in to help clean it all up. Arnold said they used to have a pet pig running around the house. Howard said he loves that he's into that.
Howard said that Arnold earned more from Twins than he did with any of the Terminator films. Arnold said that Ivan, Danny and himself split 37.5 percent and he got 20 percent of that. Arnold said they went to Universal and asked for no money but they get ownership of 37.5 percent of it. He said they all made much more money on that than anything else.
Howard said he had Total Recall too. Howard said that's one of his favorites of all time. Howard said that he loved that movie. He said that made $265 million worldwide. Howard said Kindergarten Cop was another big one. Howard said Michael Keaton was considered for that movie. Arnold said the studio was amazed with what he was doing and he was getting comedy roles like he was getting action roles. Howard asked if he was living in dread that it might end. Arnold said he came from a sports background and he had failed many times. He said failure to him has never been a scary thing. He said it's important that you're not afraid of failure. He said he always felt free. Arnold said that he knew if he ran for governor that he could fail. He said so what. He said he would have just moved on.
Howard said Arnold went to the Tonight Show to announce that he was not going to run for governor. He had talked to his wife Maria about it and he wasn't going to run. Howard said then he was almost there at the Tonight Show and he changed his mine and decided to run. Arnold said it wasn't so much a change of mind but much more about his wife and kids not wanting him to run. He said that they knew that it could cause some problems.
Arnold said that he was told that people were going to hate him as governor. He said that 50 percent of the people were going to hate him. He said he knew that was going to happen when he went in. He said that he did some things that people liked and some they didn't. He said he had a fantastic time being governor. He said he had responsibility over 38 million people. He said that sometimes you have great victories and sometimes great failures. He said that's the way it goes. He said he is extremely proud of what they accomplished there. He said he's sorry that they didn't get the budget done. He said that the democrats weren't willing to work with him. He said once Jerry Brown came in they were ready to change. He said he knew that was going to happen but he's fine with that.
Howard said it seems like the Tea Party is making the right wing stuff kind of out there. Arnold said he hopes that someone emerges who is a true leader and runs for president. He said he wants to see the debates. He said that he hopes that someone comes out that can bring both parties together. Arnold said that they are all getting stuck and not moving things forward. He said we need a leader who can unite everyone and move the country forward.
Howard asked if anyone has come to him asking him to endorse them. Arnold said absolutely. He said he wants to wait a little bit though. Arnold said that there are 2 or 3 that he really likes. He said he likes Jeb Bush and John Kasich from Ohio. He said he's not backing anyone yet though. He said that he wants to see the debates before he does. Arnold said they have to make decisions that are best for America and the people and not just certain things.
Howard said that Arnold did Terminator 2 and that was great. Then he did Last Action Hero. Howard said that movie wasn't big enough by Hollywood standards. Robin said she loved that movie. Howard asked if it was devastating to him. Arnold said he loves victories and hates defeats. He said one thing doesn't cause depression at all. Howard said he's had so many victories. Arnold said he was getting ready to do True Lies so he was just going on. Howard asked when he gets the call about the box office not being so great does he just want to crawl into a hole and die. Arnold said he wasn't ashamed. He said he was just pissed off. He said some things happen and some don't. He said that you get frustrated by it but you just move on. He said he moved on and did True Lies.
Howard said he has had so much success. Howard asked if the marriage failing was a big setback for him. Arnold said it was a big failure. He said he took the blame for it and he was disappointed. He said the thing was to try to make the best of that situation. Howard said when he got divorced he went to a psychiatrist and figured he could change. Arnold said that he and Maria went to therapy and the guy was so full of shit. He said it was the biggest mistake he could have made. He said it was counter productive to their relationship. He said it was nonsense talk. He said Maria talked him into it and he went. He said he knew he screwed up and he didn't need someone telling him the same thing. He said that he wanted to figure out how to raise the kids with her even though she moved out. He said he wanted the kids to respect him for other things. He said that things have worked out so well. He said that it's not because of the shrink. He said that people should get help when they want it but this guy was not helpful. He said that it didn't help them at all.
Arnold said that things have worked out for him. He said that the kids sent him balloons for the premiere of the movie Terminator Genisys. He said it was from the kids and his wife. He said it made him feel so good. He said they all sent a card an a gift. He said that's the relationship he was looking forward to after this screw up. He said that's the relationship they have now.
Howard asked how he pulls off this whole thing with the kids after the screw up. Arnold said that he had a lot of conversations with them and they all had to work together. He said he tried to be as helpful as he could and things worked out. He said they have great kids. Howard said that's unbelievably loving. Arnold said that even his fifth child with Mildred understands the situation. He said that it's all worked out very well. He said it's a tough situation for everyone but it happened and they're all trying to figure it out. Robin said everyone makes mistakes over their lives. Arnold said that people use those words but how much meat is behind it is what matters. Arnold said that he feels a sense of forgiveness in a major way.
Howard said Arnold's son Patrick was dating Miley Cyrus. Howard asked if the kids come to him or do they just do their own thing. Arnold said they just do their own thing. Howard asked if it upset him about the Miley thing. Arnold said that he wasn't nervous. He said his kids are very strong. He said they know how far they can go. He said they should be adventurous. He said that he wasn't worried about that. He said he did meet Miley Cyrus during the holidays. He said he found out that she was a fantastic person. He said she played with the little kids who were there and she bought them gifts. He said she was a wonderful person. He said she has to be out there for her career but so what. He said it didn't bother him. He said the whole thing eventually fell apart though.
Howard asked if Patrick is getting into acting. Arnold said he is. He said he's been studying. He said he's working very hard in school and he has done some small roles in movies. Howard asked if that's what he wants his kids doing. Arnold said he's very proud of Patrick. He said he doesn't care what they do. He said he wants them to be passionate in whatever it is they do. Arnold said he wants them to feel the way he feels about his work.
Howard asked Arnold about playing chess and if he's really good. Arnold said he played from the age of 8 but he never studied. Howard said he wondered because he seems to have planned out his career 15 moves ahead.
Howard gave Arnold some plugs for Terminator Genisys. Howard said that they're thinking about making 2 more. Arnold said that the fans have to decide if they want another one. He said this one turned out great and the director did a great job with it. Howard said he loves Terminator so he's very happy they made this. Arnold said they have to wait and see how this one does. He said he'd rather see it happen organically instead of having this plan.
Howard said that he's so thrilled that Arnold came in there. He said it's been so long. Robin said that it must be hard to start a movie career after being Governor. Arnold said that you have to start out at the bottom again. He said you have to bring the people along with you. He said show business is like politics and you need to bring the people along with you. He said he's back up where he can do a big movie again.
Howard said Arnold did that movie Maggie and he asked why he did such a small one. He said the movie was good but kind of depressing. Arnold said it was a $7 million movie. He said it was fantastic. He said he was able to concentrate on doing the scenes. He said that he acted it out and he loved doing it. Howard said t was a very heavy movie.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said that he loved Terminator. He said he loves those characters. He said this movie was fun. He said the 3D was seamless too. Howard asked Arnold if he's seen it in 3D. Arnold said he has not. He said he will be seeing it in 3D in the next couple of days.
Ralph said the best Arnold movie was Terminator 2. He said that they made a better movie with a sequel and that's very had to do.
Howard said he hasn't seen Arnold since he was governor. Arnold said he did promote Maggie. Howard said that's right but he didn't see him in the studio. Howard said it's great to see him. Howard gave him some plugs and said that the movie opens on July 1st. He wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said this is a great song. He asked where this guy is. Robin said he's singing this song somewhere. Howard said he loves that song. He said he likes it with ''Duu'' in it. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said it was great to see Arnold. Howard said he has over come so much. Howard took a call from a Mark in Boston who asked how he could bang that chick who looked the way she did. Howard said that he's impressed with the guy and feels that he is someone who has done so much. Howard said that he admits that he has made mistakes. Robin said she loved his line about how he should get his money back from the guy who tried to get rid of his accent. Robin said that accent made him in the long run though.
Robin said she hopes that he doesn't feel bad about Last Action Hero. She said it wasn't a mistake in her mind. Howard said that it didn't throw him. He said he went right out and made True Lies. Robin was talking about that and Fred played her theme music over her.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that was a fabulous interview. She said that Beth was on Good Day New York and crying. She said she was very upset. Howard said she's on TV and she had to give over two of the kittens they were raising. Howard said they were adopted and Beth had a hard time letting them go. Howard said that's the hardest part of fostering the kittens. Howard said he told Beth that if she does cry it would show her passion for animals. Howard said she shouldn't be ashamed. Mariann said Beth did it. Howard said he had sex with her last night so maybe she was crying over that.
Howard hung up on Mariann when she started screaming. Howard said that Robin may not be getting Maple. He said that they have something going on. Howard said someone might take her with the two kittens. Howard said they'll see what happens.
Howard said to sum up he's very glad to have seen Arnold today. Howard took a call from Balls who said that it was the best interview of the year. He said that he loves his honesty. Howard said he loves hearing from successful people and what life was like working at this thing. He said he loved hearing the story about ''I Will be back'' and how James Cameron just told him to say the fucking line the way he wrote it.
Howard said it's time for news. They played Robin into it with a song parody. Robin was still thinking about Arnold and the animals he has at his parties. That led to Howard playing a clip of Tom Arnold talking about those parties. Howard said that's some party. Robin said that a Colorado man found a bear nibbling on his ankle while he was on his deck. Robin said that the man didn't want to trap the bear because they could trap the wrong one. Robin said he didn't take a big bite so the man wasn't inured to bad.
Robin read a story about a wedding that turned into a violent brawl. Robin said they had to have officers from 16 police departments show up to control the brawl. Robin said the groom challenged the officers to a fight. Robin said the bride was treated for alcohol poisoning. Robin said a 14 year old was allowed to drink and he had twice the legal limit in him. Howard wondered if they'll stay married.
Robin read about a new Spider-Man movie that's going to be made and it's illegal to have a black or gay Spider-Man. Howard said that's what was leaked in a studio email or something. Robin said that it's in the trademark or something. Robin said it's under contract. Robin said he can't kill anyone and he can't be gay or black. Howard asked if he can marry a Jew. Howard said it's so silly.
Howard took a call from Jon Leiberman who was at Sour Shoes' house. He had an update. Sour was making all kinds of noise while Jon was trying to talk. Jon was trying to tell Howard what was going on but he couldn't hear Howard's questions over Sour. Jon said he was in the pool and he was scantily clad in there.
Jon said that he is in Sour's room and it's an attic that's about 110 degrees. Howard asked Jon to tap the phone twice if he needs to be rescued. Jon tapped the phone. Jon said that he interviewed Sour's parents and he'll have the full report ready in a couple of weeks. He said that they found out a lot about Sour and his family. Jon had to ask Sour to please give him a second. He said Sour was hit in the head by a baseball at the age of 16 and that may have had lasting effects. Howard asked if it was just one hit. Jon said it was just one. He said he had a concussion and he was taken to the hospital. Sour did his Jackie the Joke Man impression. Howard asked if he's still scantily clad. Sour told Howard that his mom and dad said that he can do his show up there. He said it's only about ''a hundred and noine'' up there.
Jon said Sour has a love interest there at Sirius. Sour has been calling someone named Jordan there. Sour said she's beautiful. He was telling Howard that in his baby voice. Sour said she sent him a Valentine's day gift. Howard asked if he wants to have her baby. Sour said yes in that baby voice. Sour did his Howard as a kid voice too. Howard said goodbye to ''Gary'' over there. Sour went into his Gary Dell'Abate impression and talked to Howard for a few seconds. Then he went into his Artie impression for a few more. Then he did an Imus impression. Howard thanked him for the call and let Jon and Sour go.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Eric who said he has some bad news. He said he went for a hearing test and he's losing hearing in both ears. Howard asked how much loss he has. Eric said his right ear is the worst. He said he has a prescription for a hearing aid. Howard said maybe it's being blocked by fat. Howard said maybe it's the wax. Eric said he had it drained the other day. Eric said he's losing hearing in both ears. Howard said he's a mess. Eric said that's why they have to get him and Matt Jacobs in there. He said he has to see who can take over. Howard said as long as he doesn't threaten to kill him. Eric said they made up.
Fred read that weight can affect hearing. Howard said that he has to lose weight. Fred said high blood pressure can cause it too. Howard told Eric to go get help. Eric said he has help. He said he uses it all the time. Eric said it's hard to lose weight. Howard said he knows.
Howard asked Eric what he had for breakfast. Eric said he had grape soda and some oatmeal cookies and a cup of coffee. Howard told him to stop drinking the soda. Eric said he needed that to wake him up. Eric asked when he can come in. Howard said he'll be in soon. Howard told Gary to get him in there. Gary said they'll figure something out. Howard said he wants to see what's going on.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about this guy Lyle Mitchell. Robin said he was the husband of the woman who helped the prisoners escape in New York state. Robin said that he sounds like he's going to take her back once she gets out. Robin said that woman should stay in prison for a long time. Robin said she's not sure why her sentence will be so short.
Robin read about P. Diddy putting his side of the story out about what happened at the college where his son is going. Robin said Diddy was working out with a strength coach and Diddy got angry that he was yelling at his son saying that he wasn't getting special treatment. Robin said Diddy approached the coach and then he picked up the kettlebell and started throwing it around. Robin said Diddy's son sent out a tweet about how he's glad his dad was there and he's proud of him.
Robin read a story about a Chicago Cubs fan who grabbed a baseball while feeding his baby boy. Robin said he was giving his 7 month old son a bottle during a game at Wrigley Field and a pop up came toward him so he grabbed it bare handed. Robin said he got in the way of a player so the hit was called fan interference.
Howard took a call from Wheels who asked if Howard considers himself a renaissance man. Howard said he's only good at radio. He said that he's not. Wheels said he was good in his movie and on America's Got Talent. Howard said that's true. He's also becoming a painter. Howard said maybe he is a renaissance man. Wheels said that Howard and Beth should take dance classes together. Howard said he would only have problems from that. Howard let him go after that.
Robin said there's a new ISIS video. Robin said that they have video of some Iraqi fighters being blown up and drowned. Robin said they put the prisoners into a car and then hit it with a rocket propelled grenade. Howard said he couldn't watch that. Robin said there are also some prisoners in a cage and it's dropped into the water and they are drowned. Robin said in another one there are some explosive ropes around the necks of some men and they end up decapitating the men. Howard said these are some sick assholes.
Robin said that a bunch of retailers are going to stop selling items with the confederate flag on them. Robin and Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about that. Robin said that NASCAR is saying they won't stop fans from flying the flag at their events.
Robin read a story about Google removing confederate flag ads from their site. Robin said they announced yesterday they will be doing that.
Robin read a story about Gmail allowing you to unsend something. Robin said that once you hit the send button you will have 30 seconds to change your mind. Howard said he likes that. Robin said that users will have to enable the feature.
Robin read a story about how people with cardiac devices are being warned about using cell phones. Robin said that pacemakers and devices like that could be affected by the phones.
Howard had some audio of Sal talking to Daniel Carver about the confederate flag. Daniel thinks that the flag didn't do anything and they can't blame that for what this kid did. Howard said that he thought they weren't able to get in touch with Daniel. Sal came in and said he has more tape he's cutting up. He said he has a lot of stuff about transgender people and the President using the N-word. Howard asked if he hates black people or transgender people more. Sal said he can pull the clip real quick. Howard said he wants to know. Sal went to get the clip.
Howard took a call from Ralph and said he let him talk to Arnold because he knows he's a big fan. Ralph said that interview was inspiring. Robin asked what Ralph is going to do now that he heard that. Ralph said nothing. He said the Twins movie thing was a great thing to hear too. He said the best thing Arnold has done is dress up like the Terminator at the Wax Museum. Howard said they should put a link up on HowardStern.com. Howard said people go up to him thinking he's a wax figure and he comes to life. Howard said he scares the shit out of people.
Sal told Howard he had the Daniel Carver clip. Howard said they all voted Transgender. In the clip Daniel said that the gay is the bottom. He said that the bible says they should be put to death. Daniel said that the white man was looking for cheap labor and it backfired on them so that's why they had slaves. Howard thanked Sal for the good work.
Robin read about Dick Van Patten passing away at the age of 86. Howard said he was a big fan of 8 Is Enough. Howard said one of his sons is a big director. Gary said he's super famous. Howard said he loved Dick Van Patten on 8 Is enough. He said he loved Betty Buckley too. Robin said Willie Aames was talking about what a super dad he was on TV and off. Robin had a quote from Betty Buckley too.
Robin read a story about the escapees from the NY prison. Robin said that they escaped on June 6th and they're still not captured. Robin said that they say that the female guard who was helping them was bribing other guards to help by cooking for them. Robin said that must be some cooking. Robin said she was very influential in that prison apparently. Robin said the prisoners were allowed to make their own meals so that's why they were getting frozen meat in their cells. That's how they were smuggling in the tools.
Robin read a story about how Wikileaks revealed that we spied on a couple of French Presidents. Robin asked if that's really news. Howard said that's what we do.
Robin said the Boston bomber's sentencing is this morning.
Robin read that Janet Jackson is going to be honored by some thing this week. Robin had a quick clip of her music.
Robin said Colin Farrell was on Seth Meyers show talking about the differences with True Detective. Robin had Howard play a clip.
Robin had Howard play a Metallica song. Robin said a study says that this music can actually calm people down. Robin said it's soothing for listeners.
Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. He said that today's Arnold interview was inspiring. He said before they get into that they want to hear what the poll is about. Rahsaan said they're asking ''Which Wack Packer Would You Want to Live in Your House?'' and the choices are:
Rahsaan said that Sour gets his vote. Jon asked how long that would last though. Rahsaan said that he isn't afraid of Sour trying to kill him. Jon said the baby voice would scare him more than a bat or gun or anything else.
Jon asked Chris about visiting Riley Martin once. Chris said that he visited him about 10 years ago and his apartment is filled with birds. He said Eron was there too. He said it was a very strange thing. He said that he met him in person and he felt that there was something there. He said he is a charismatic dude. Jon said that part of his following is religious in a way. He said what he says is very much like a religion if you believe in that stuff. Chris said that he could get a following. Jon said if he put together a church he'd be there. They went to break after that.
Gary said you'd think that they'd give it away and not throw it away. He said you'd think that they'd throw it away in a way that no one can use it again. Gary said maybe Letterman didn't care. Chris said he heard Letterman took some stuff but the rest went in the garbage.
Jon said that he doesn't think they're going to throw things away. He said he's sure that they'd take some stuff and the fans would get other things. Gary said he'd like the Gary Puppet. He said that maybe the Jackie Puppet too. Jon said he'd want the megaphone or something iconic like that. Gary said he'd like the Beetlejuice head or the OJ Mask too. He said those are fun things to have. He said maybe the He from the Howard Stern letters.
Jon said Howard did talk about ending America's Got Talent. He said this is apparently his last season. He said he's said this before but not like this. Gary asked if he was just venting or is he really done. Jon said he thinks he's done. He said he'd like to know what other projects he's been offered. Gary said he'd like to know if they're invited.
Jon said that Arnold came up today for the first time since 2003. Jon said that he thought this one really hit it out of the park for him. Gary said Arnold was funny and poignant and he was telling stories in a way that he's never heard them before. He said that he told the story about reading the line ''I'll be back'' for Cameron. He said that was a great story.
Jon said Arnold talked about body building and how hard he worked on that. Jon said that Arnold and Howard told each other they were impressed with how they've made it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that was a great interview. He said at first Arnold was talking about his ''four kids'' and then he said ''his whole family.'' He said that shows where his head is at. He said he was also talking about his father and it sounded like the way Howard talks about his father.
Jon said Arnold talked a lot about how things went in Austria and how his parents were on him about that stuff. He said sometimes that fuels you to succeed later in life. Chris said absolutely. He said he put a lot of thought into bodybuilding and if you do that people might think you're a little crazy.
Jon said that Arnold said that if you think you can do something then you can do it. Jon said that you need the drive and the talent.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he couldn't believe how crazy it was that OJ Simpson was considered for The Terminator. Gary said he was the terminator but just not in the movie. Jon said that he wasn't cast because they thought that he'd come off too nice. He said Arnold didn't even go in for the terminator role. He said that he went in for Kyle Reese. Jon said that's one of his favorite movies of all time.
Jon said that Robin is very proud of Last Action Hero. Gary said that Robin just won't back down on that. He said he thought it was okay but not that great. He said Robin liked it that night and she just won't back down. Gary said that she may have been in an Arnold trance.
Jon said they also learned Arnold made more off of Twins than any Terminator movie he's done. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said that Chris knows what it's like to get feedback on Twitter. Chris said he had one guy tell him he looks like Drew Carrey with AIDS. He said another one said he looks like William Defoe raped his mother. Chris said he was in a Sitcom called Big Lake in 2010 and it bombed big time. He said that he got the job after the guy from Napoleon Dynamite dropped out. He said the show bombed really bad and he took it on the chin. He said people on IMDB went off on him. He said he spent like 2 days trying to find the guy. He said he was able to find the guy and figure out who he was. He said he sent him a Facebook message and asked why he did that. Chris said the guy wrote a long message about him and really tore him up. He said they met up a while later and made a video. He said that he asked the guy if he was really that horrible. The guy told him he really thought he was that bad at what he does. He didn't back down. Chris said that his favorite part was when the guy told him that he's a baker and he asked if he's abetter baker than he is a comedian and the guy said undoubtedly.
Gary said last season on Survivor there was a guy he really didn't like but he'd never write a letter. He said he's too busy. He said it seems like a lot of time to spend on one person. Chris said he almost applauds him for sticking with it. He said he loved the fact that he told him he stinks and he's not entertaining. Chris said the guy thought he was doing him a favor by telling him this. He said that he was also a huge asshole.
Chris said that his agents were telling him to do other things. He said he was a public access host 6 months after he was on a sitcom. He said he figured he just had to do his own thing and not worry about that other stuff.
Jon said that Robin stuck to her guns with Last Action Hero and Howard did it with the Prince album for Batman. Jon said he doesn't get it. He said he doesn't hear it or see it. Gary said he thought that 25 years ago and 10 years ago and today. Jon said he was glad Fred interrupted the flow with that today. Gary asked what soundtrack Jon would go with. Jon said The Graduate has a great soundtrack. He said there are a lot of soundtracks you can come up with.
Gary said that Howard says it so that's just the way it is on his show. Jon said that's why they're having this discussion there and not on Howard's show.
Chris said that the Batdance song is something he'd be happy to hear on a dance floor. Gary said a song should be able to hold up and he doesn't think that one does. Chris said if the song came on in a club he'd e psyched to dance to it but if it came up on his iPod he'd be pissed.
Jon said that if you're a fan of the show you get how big of a deal it is for Howard to change his breakfast. He said it's going to rock their world. Gary said Howard can eat the same thing every day and that boggles his mind. Gary said Howard is only changing because of what the doctor said. He said Howard used to have baked potatoes and turkey. He said that it had to be fresh turkey and not that stuff from a deli. He said Howard would just jam that stuff in his mouth. He said it was boring but Howard thought that's what he had to eat.
Jon went to Rahsaan for the poll results. Rahsaan said the big winner was Sour Shoes with 63 percent. He said that the big loser was Wendy with 7 percent. The guys spent a little time talking about what they could handle with the Wack Packers. Gary said that he would be into Hanzi if he wasn't up all night. He said that would make it tough for him to sleep. Chris said that it's odd that Wendy lost to Jeff the Drunk. He said that it seems like you'd be doing good to take care of her. He said to lose to Jeff is concerning.
Jon said he thinks that Jeff would just stay in his part of the house. Gary said he'd suck the life out of the room if you saw him at any point in the day.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and gave some plugs to Chris before ending the show. They were done around Noon.
Jon said they have a lot to talk about today. He played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. After that Jon said he's not where to start. Gary said that the Khaleesi came up twice in that clip. Jon said he saw her up there and he wished he could have roped her in there.
Jon asked if Tan Mom is a Wack Packer and is she smarter than Richard and Sal. Mark said that she's not a Wack Packer. He said she hasn't been on the show enough. He said she has an oddity but a Wack Packer has an emotional element to it. Gary asked if Mick the Nerd is in it. Mark said you need time to be in it. He said the fans don't let you be in it. Mark said there are anomalies like Beetlejuice and Big Foot. He said that there are rules.
Jon asked Horatio if Tan Mom is in it. Horatio said no because she lacks initiative. He said that she doesn't care that much about being a Wack Packer. Gary said Beetlejuice doesn't seek them out either. Jon said that he has to be excused from that. Mark said Tan Mom wants to be there to increase her fame. He said that he doesn't think that she's a fan of the show.
Lisa said that Tan Mom would go on any show. She said the best part of the bit was when Howard said that for the record Sal was not blowing Richard. He said that there is a chance that it could happen. Gary said he told Howard later that they brought Tan Mom in and she took a 5 minute phone call before she went in their studio so they had to be wait for her to come in. Gary said that they're the only ones who put Tan Mom on. He said that she is in the Wack Pack. Mark said no. Lisa said the other favorite thing was when she said she couldn't wait to share the stage with Amy Schumer.
Jon said when Amy Poehler recorded the message for them she really did want to talk to Tan Mom. Gary said she called her Amy Pollock too when she responded. Jon said the birthday bash had tons of stars at it but Tan Mom stole the show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Tan Mom is an opportunist. He said the only outlet she has is Howard 100. He said that she knows exactly what's going on. He said he doesn't think that she'd fall for Sal and Richard blowing each other. Jon asked if that's tough to believe. He said Richard has said he's willing to do anything for the show including blowing Ronnie. Horatio asked what Sal used for goo. It was lotion for his hands. Horatio said he could have been fooled too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thinks that the Wack Pack is there to provide content. He said the only difference between a Wack Packer and a non Wack Packer is if you bring content to the show. Gary said there's an exception to the rule every time. He said some try and some accidentally provide content. He said Eric the Actor went out of his way not to provide content and that's what provided content.
Gary said he thinks that you can say a Wack Packer is this and that but you just know it when you see it. Lisa said she doesn't think she stole the birthday show. She said it was so much more. She said there's something about these unintentionally horrible people that makes her wonder where the talent is. Horatio said there's a sad lack of brain damage from them lately. The guys brought up Hanzi and Gary said he's opportunistic. Mark said that they're all like that. He said they're all opportunists. Jon asked if he wants to limit it. Mark said it's a feel. Jon said you can't love everyone. Jon said some people hated Eric the Actor. Mark said that's what drives the whole show.
Jon asked Mark what else he wanted to talk about with the show. Mark got in some plugs for his new EP and some other things he's got going on. Jon said that he's also in Joe Dirt 2 and in Sharknado 3. Jon asked if he's in that one. Jon said he says he is. Mark said he's not sure if he is unless they flew him to L.A. Mark had to take off so they let him go. They went to break after that.
Jon said Channing was on Saturday Night Live and he talked about how scared he was to do that with his reading disability. Horatio said that some people get it in their head that they can learn the material but they may cut things out. He said you just stare at the card and read the lines. Jon said they make changes at the last minute over there. Horatio said they do change them.
Gary asked Horatio who came on the show and impressed him. Horatio said Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. He said Justin turned out to do things well. He said that was a complete surprise. Gary said he's in the 5 timer's club now.
Jon asked Horatio about the Saturday Night Live 40th. He asked if he had fond memories of it. Horatio said he was in Darrell Hammond's room smoking weed. He said that he asked Chappelle if he wanted to smoke but he didn't want to because he was drinking. He said he asked Keith Richards if he wanted to smoke later. He said he lit up the joint and Keith made a B-line to him and took some of that. He said then some of the other guys took a hit because Keith took it. He said he owns the joint so it's going to be under glass now.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she saw Lisa on Celebrity Apprentice and she didn't like her. Lisa said she was Menopausal. The caller said she changed her mind after hearing her on The Wrap UP Show. She asked if that was an act on Apprentice. Lisa said she was like that on Apprentice because she was crazy. She said working with idiots all day is hard. She said that's what she was dealing with on that show. Lisa said she'll be near Hartford soon so she told her to come see her there. The caller had asked when she was going to be near Hartford.
Jon said Lisa was busting Mark's balls about plugging stuff earlier. Lisa said that she asked her. She talked about how hot Mark is too. Lisa also talked about how much she loves Channing Tatum now that she heard that interview with Howard. She said that Howard can turn you around with an interview like that.
Jon talked about some of the things Channing was saying during his interview about taking a chance doing an audition and getting something even though he wasn't right for a part. They spent a little time on that. Jon said it's important to stand out.
Jon said Channing talked about how he didn't get nominated for an Oscar and he said he didn't care because he was a stripper and he was just happy to be where he was at that point. Horatio said he's not pretending to be a great actor and he's just riding it and doing the best he can. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said Fred's daughter Tess said what annoys her about her dad. Gary said it was interesting to hear her voice now that she's 12. He said she sounds so grown up.
Jon asked Horatio and Lisa if Howard thinks his dad was a bad dad. Lisa said no. She said she thinks that he thinks he was a great role model work wise and as a husband. She said she thinks that calling Howard a moron helped him propel himself. She said he achieved things that maybe he wouldn't have. Jon said that Arnold Schwarzenegger said his parents gave him tough love and wanted him to improve. Jon wondered if Howard thinks of himself as a great dad. He asked Horatio about that. Horatio said he's not a father but he sometimes feels he gets that way with his friends and he doesn't give enough. He said he can see that kind of loving dad that doesn't give a lot. He said his father was very loving but also had a crazy temper.
Gary said Howard's dad treated Howard the way dads treated people they did back then. He said if he treated him the way people treat kids today they would have said he was gay and he would have been thrown out of the neighborhood. Gary said he was playing with his son one day when he was very young and his father in law looked at him like ''Where's Mary?'' like she should have been playing with him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was disappointed with the Seth MacFarlane interview. He said he made a reference in Family Guy and made a reference to Bruce Jenner's vagina. He said 2 minutes later there was a thing about Bill Cosby in the show too and it was back in 2009. He said he was hoping that someone would have picked up on that and asked Seth about it.
Gary said they had the Bruce Jenner clip available but they didn't get to it. Gary said that stuff was tabloid fodder for years so maybe Seth picked up on it and wanted to comment. Jon said Seth does so many things so well. He said he hosted the Oscars and that's a thankless gig. Lisa said they want you to fail. She said they have it all written before the broadcast. Lisa said she thinks Billy Crystal is the only one who gets a pass on it these days. Gary said Seth talked about how he thought he had the room and he was killing it. Gary said most people seemed to like it.
Jon said it's a tough gig and he wonders if you want to pass it up or do it because it's a big opportunity. Horatio said that the people who do it well have a good group to back them up. He said some people think they can do it without a back up.
Lisa said she thinks that actors take it really personally if they get crap over it. She said comedians can take it. Gary said the whole world watches that show so it's tough. He said not everyone is going to like it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Arnold is a huge person who has had an amazing career. He said he should be emulated. He said Howard is the same. He said they both had fathers who referred to them as stupid. He said often times that can be looked at in a negative light. He said he thinks that it created two incredible guys. He said that they didn't accept mediocrity. He said a few more kicks in the ass today and maybe that would happen more. Jon said he wouldn't recommend doing that but you do hear the love Ben Stern has for his son in some of those clips. He said that Arnold was going to improve himself no matter what. He said he doesn't think that sometimes you have to give tough love but there's a time for that. Gary said you have to figure it all out. He said that you shouldn't just call your kid a moron.
Horatio said he was wondering what Tom Hanks did to his rapper son. Jon said every kid is different. He said some people beat the shit out of their kids and some try to be their friends. He said sometimes neither of those work. Gary said that they're saying that two people were able to be called stupid and grew up to be huge. He said some kids end up curled on the floor after being called stupid.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and gave some plugs to Horatio and Lisa. Jon said Horatio has a podcast called The Hooray Show. Jon said Lisa has a new special on Epix called ''Back to the Drawing Board.'' She'll be doing a live Twitter chat in support of that. Horatio said Lisa is completely fuckable now. Lisa said ''Yay!' They ended the show around 11:55am.
Jon said that there are a lot of crazy DJs on the air but back in the 80s Howard was doing stuff that was unheard of. Gary said they were doing all kinds of crazy stuff back then. He said Matt has been with UCB for a long time and he remembers when they went outside of the Today show and a huge penis fell out. Matt said that was him. He said when they first came to New York city they wanted people to know about them and they went to where Al Roker does the interviews and Matt Walsh went to propose to a woman. He said he was standing behind him and he was playing a 6 year old boy with a huge dick. He said he had a huge dildo hanging out of his shorts. He said when Matt proposes his dildo falls out. He said they got chased around after that.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon asked Rahsaan what they're asking in the poll today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''Does calling your child stupid contribute to their success?'' and the choices are:
Jon asked Matt what he thinks. Matt said he has a 2 year old so he has to keep that in mind. He said any comedian would tell you that it sharpens the skills. He said why not if it's coming from your parents. Jon asked if you want to hear what you did wrong more than you did right. Matt said he has been helped by a comedian who gave him notes about what he did wrong so maybe it helped.
Lisa said someone once told her that you learn more from a bad show than a good one. She said it seems like many people who are successful were called stupid. She said that maybe if her parents did that she'd be more famous.
Jon asked Gary what he thinks. Gary said he doesn't praise his kids all the time but he doesn't make them feel horrible about themselves. Gary said he doesn't want to be praised every minute either. He said it's different talking in a living room and being called an idiot on the radio in front of 10 million people. Jon said the fans don't want to hear the praise. Matt said the psychodrama of the whole staff has been very entertaining over the years. Lisa said she feels more and more uncomfortable with Gary getting that from Howard but keep it coming.
Gary said people joke around about JD being the son that Howard never had but he feels like he's the son that Howard never had. He said he feels what Ben gave to Howard, Howard gives to him. He said he treats JD differently. Gary said he thinks that the repeat after me stuff is emasculating for him. They went to break after that.
Jon said it seems like with stand up comedians they're always trying to push each other down. He asked if the inprov people try to boost each other up. Matt said they use each other in each other's shows so they seem to help. He said he's really proud that they had Chris Gethard on the show. He said he's known him since he was a kid. He said how can you not be proud. Lisa said that it's a very cooperative thing in improv. She said she sucks at that because she tried to get all of the laughs herself. She said that's why she became a stand up.
Jon asked Gary about when Howard was coming up how he wanted to crush everyone. Gary said he really did. Gary asked Lisa about comedians being horribly mean to each other. He said when there's one that you don't respect and they become huge then what is it like. Lisa said that she remembers coming up and half the comics didn't respect what she did. She said Greg Giraldo and Patrice O'Neal didn't like what she did but now they're both dead so she wins. She said it's the best when another comedian dies. She said when the towers came down she hoped that they were full of comedians.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about the Schwarzenegger interview. He said that Arnold hadn't been in there for 12 years. He said that the scandal is a few years old now. He said people were wondering why Howard didn't ask about the housekeeper. He said you have to take it easy on a guest like that and they did get around to it. He said he listened to that interview twice because it was so good.
Jon said that he recommends listening to it after their show today. He said he felt it was one of the best interviews he's ever done. He said Arnold had it all out on the table. He said the way Howard crafted that interview was great. He said Howard talked about so much and then they get to the marriage failing and they were connecting on some level about the marriage.
Gary said that you can bring up things that will shut a person down and laugh at it or just let it happen. He said even if Howard didn't ask about it he does ask interesting questions. He said you have to let the interview breathe. He said you can't hit it on the head with a hammer. Jon said when you come in there it's a different kind of interview. He said you hear today that people like a guest that they didn't like before after Howard interviews them. Matt said that happens with him often.
Lisa said Arnold took full blame for the marriage failing. She said that there isn't really anywhere you can go with something like that. They went to break a short time later.
Matt said one person who is very entertaining on the show is Jon Leiberman thinking he can rap. He said that he knows he can rap better than Jon. Jon said Leiberman really thinks he can rap. Matt asked how he can listen back to that and still think he can rap. Gary said he has a theory on that. He said Jon thinks he can rap because his frat brothers told him he could. He said that they were probably pulling his chain about that. Matt said Benjy thinking that Elisa has talent is another one on the show. He said that there is no talent there. Jon said Elisa did have some success as a musician. Matt said Cobra Starship isn't a great band. Gary said he's going to disagree with him a little bit. He said Elisa can sing. He said where Benjy has a blind spot is where he says she's better than Paul McCartney.
Jon asked if Howard has a blind spot. Matt said Howard liking Batdance is a blind spot. He asked how no one got in there and went after him. Gary said it's not a battle worth picking. He said he'd rather defend Steely Dan over battling Howard over that song. Jon said he takes issue with him saying that it was the best soundtrack album in history. Matt said he likes the Repo Man soundtrack. Gary said he's trying to think of one. Lisa said she thinks the soundtrack to Whiplash is great. She said it's all jazz and it's amazing. She said she drives in the car with that and it makes you so nervous that it's great for driving. Jon said he likes That Thing You Do soundtrack.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Gary did wrong by blocking Jeff from getting that iPad. Gary said that he doesn't have WiFi so it's useless. The caller asked if he would take a guitar from Springsteen if he couldn't play it. Gary said he would. He said Jeff only wants something free because he can get it from Howard. The caller thinks that Jeff would want it because it was Howard's. Gary said he only told Howard that because Howard would have to pay $34.95 a month for service if he had to give Jeff an iPad with service on it.
Jon asked where they would rank Jeff on self entitlement. Matt said that everyone on the show seems to have a bit of that. Matt said that when you come up with Characters in improv there are times people would think that they were too out there. Then he'd tell the others that there were people on the Stern Show who did these things. He said Crackhead Bob was one of those guys.
Gary said Eric the Actor had a sense of entitlement that was off the charts. Jon said that the Wack Packers run hot and cold and it's hard when you're running cold. He said that it's hard for them. Gary said he compared Jeff to Adrian Brody. He said he's not as hot as he was when he won an Oscar. He said Jeff isn't hot right now so the big things don't come to him.
Matt said he was a huge Angry Alice fan in the late 90s. He said she made a comeback this week. He said you do get the comeback. He said that she's an all star. Lisa said she gets resentful that they think Gary should pick up the phone for them. Lisa just emails Gary and hopes he gets back to her. She said the one who deserves the money is Shuli for having to talk to these retards. She said that they get spoiled. She said that's why she fires her opening acts because they start thinking they're too big.
Gary said that he has said this before that you get into their vortex and they suck the life out of you. He said they pull you into their lives and it's tough when it's more than one Wack Packer. He said it can take up your whole week. He said it was mentally draining. Gary said Nicole Bass got mad at him for not talking to her anymore. He said that she would keep him on the phone for a half hour and she was a downer. He said she'd talk to Jason and he could tell when it was happening because of the way he was reacting. Gary said the amount of time you give to those people is time he can't spare and produce the show at the same time.
Jon asked Rahsaan what the results of the poll are. Rahsaan said the winner was ''No'' with 68 percent of the vote. Jon got in some plugs for Sternthology and for Lisa and Matt. They wrapped up the show around 11:55am.