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Howard started the show talking like a WNBC announcer for a few seconds. He did a few ''Hey nows'' with Fred playing clips. Howard said he is just doing his vocal exercises. He said he had a good weekend. He said he's battling with his back pain though. He said he hasn't had it in years. Howard said he is a disciple of Dr. John Sarno who has taught him how to get rid of it without surgery. He said he had bad shoulder pain and he knew to use his Dr. Sarno techniques from the Mind Body Prescription. He said he wasn't sure if it was a real thing or if his mind was playing tricks on him. He said he got rid of the shoulder pain but he still has pain in his back toward the sides. He said it's sort of in the back but near his love handles. Howard said if he exercises it makes it worse.
Howard said he has been struggling with it. He said he wants to see Dr. Sarno but he's retired. Howard said he doesn't want to bother the guy. Robin said he has a therapist. Howard said he's not getting the job done. Howard said he needs a team of psychiatrists.
Robin said she had a night terror last night. She said she rarely has anything like that. Robin said she thinks that it's because she was grieving over her cat dying. Howard said he heard about that from Beth when she saw it on Twitter. Robin said that it was Brangelina and she died of a heart attack. She was 11 years old. Howard said that's sad.
Robin said she had this dream that ISIS or Al Queada was after them. Howard said they are. Robin said that she and Howard were targets. Robin said they had security and they were in hidden locations. Robin said she had the police show up to help her and she woke up so alarmed that she didn't want to go to work. Robin said she was so scared that she didn't want to leave. Robin said it took her a long time to get it out of her head and realize it wasn't real. Howard said she should have called him so he could yell at her for calling and waking him up.
Howard said he was actually up at 1 and he got into an email exchange with Ralph. Howard said he talked about going to see Age of Ultron. Robin said she saw it and she wasn't as pleased as she thought she'd be. Howard asked if Fred and Benjy saw it. They hadn't. Robin said she knows Jason saw it. Howard said he thinks Jon Hein saw it. Howard said Jason is bigger than ever. Fred did his Jason voice and goofed on him about eating 4 buckets of popcorn and things like that.
Howard said he's sorry about Robin's cat dying. He said he's sorry to hear that. Robin said Jennifer Aniston didn't know where to sleep last night. She said they'll get through it though. Howard said he has so many cats he can lend her one. Robin said that Brangelina stays with her care giver for the weekend. Robin said the cat died in the cab on her way to her apartment. Robin said that she just had the heart attack right there. Robin said her care giver was right there and revived her and brought her to the hospital. Howard asked how they revive a cat. Robin said she's not sure. Gary said he thinks he knows. He said you blow into their nose. Fred asked how you do the heart. Howard said he doesn't know. Robin said they told her that the cat was in pain and they had to put her down.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he'd handle it if Beth had a crush on a black guy she saw every day. Howard said he wouldn't handle it well if she had a crush on any guy. Howard said he would rather not know. He said it's not a black issue. It's a person issue. Howard said he only wants her infatuated with him. Robin said you can't plan a crush. Howard said he knows that but he doesn't handle it well. He said he'd rather not know. He said if it did happen he would handle it. Howard said maybe he'd get her hypnotized and take care of it that way. That led to him playing some song parodies about Sal's cock disappearing and also one about Wendy the Slow Adult shitting her pants.
Howard played a clip of a show where a guy was talking about how upset he gets thinking about Howard Stern possibly retiring. He breaks down crying over that. They went to break after that.
Howard said the hijinx were wild last week. He said this guy Vince called in and busted Jeff the Drunk's balls last week. He said that they had the guys in the office call Jeff and had Vince break in during the calls. Howard played a clip and Gary called Jeff and apologized to him for that guy. Then Vince breaks in and Jeff hangs up on Gary. They had another guy call Jeff and Vince breaks in on that call too. Shuli called Jeff and Jeff told him what was going on. Jeff complained about that fucking dick breaking in and then Shuli promises it will never happen again and Vince breaks in. Jeff screamed at him to shut the fuck up. He said he hopes he dies tonight.
Howard said that Jeff got really upset with this guy Ethan who books him for gigs. Howard played a voice mail he left for Ethan cursing him out. Howard said he said ''kituation'' instead of situation. Howard picked up on Jeff and asked him to say that word. Jeff was able to do it.
Jeff asked where his acting gigs is. Howard told him to go get one. Jeff said he never heard back about the act off against Eric the Actor. Howard said he was promised the gig if the gig arises. Howard said maybe they're not making the movie. Jeff asked for some other acting gigs. Howard told him to go audition. Jeff said he did and he won it. Howard said they didn't make the movie. Jeff asked about other acting opportunities. Howard said he has to go.
JD came in and told Howard it's pretty good. He said he liked it. Howard asked if there is a lot of cock. JD said there is a bit.
Howard said he got a lot of shit about 50 Shades of Grey. He said he liked it though. Howard said Kidd Chris sent him video of this guy Ron Sedaille who is working his radio show and Chris told him to watch him do his thing. Howard said he's so good at doing the top 40 announcing. Howard said you can watch the guy and he's really good. Howard said he hated being a music DJ because he had night terrors every night about the record running out and not having a record cued up and all of that. He said it would make him crazy and he still has this nightmare once in a while. Howard said he is amazed by this guy being so smooth. Howard said he wouldn't even know how to do it himself anymore. Howard said he wasn't digitized back when he was doing it. Howard said this guy Ron is good up at WDRC FM in Hartford. Howard said he really is good. Fred said that he has an internet show too from what he found.
The caller also asked Howard what he thinks about people saying that they shouldn't be gender identifying with the royal baby. Howard said that's just ridiculous and he has to say fuck you to that.
Howard let the caller go and played a clip of one of their guys on the street asking people what they thought of the royal baby name ''Shaniquea Nene Jackson Middleton''.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he just saw his Letterman appearance. He said it was really great seeing Don Rickles with him. Howard said he loved that. Howard said they're releasing CPO Sharkey on video. Howard said that TV was never able to figure out what to do with Don. He said the show fell flat but it was interesting to go back and watch it. Howard said that a lot of the humor was racial and they can't even play that stuff on TV today. Howard said it's fun to watch some of those episodes. Howard said he loves Don so much. He said his comedy is second to none. Howard said he loves that he's still around. Howard said to sit next to him was really great.
Howard said Letterman is retiring and so is Evil Dave. Howard said they have enjoyed Evil Dave for years. Howard said that they have so man people for him to thank there at Sirius. Howard said he has trouble reading so they gave him names that are ridiculous. Howard played a clip of Dave thanking everyone there at Sirius. They had names like Dick Rash, Lou Stools, Reed Poorly, Saul T Cumstain, Lou Bup, Penile Warts and things like that. Howard said that is the greatest. He said he has to played it again. He replayed the clip.
Howard said David Crosby will be coming in today. He said he spent the weekend listening to 4 Way Street. He said he thinks it's one of the most raw, well done albums of all time. Howard said it's not slick but it's very cool. He said he loves that album.
Robin said Lindsay Davis interviewed Cosby. Howard said she asked all the right questions. He said that the interview was very strange though. He said Cosby is so avoiding the issue. He said he has this double speak that's just amazing. Howard played some clips and Lindsay asked what he would tell young people about this if they ask. Cosby talks in circles and never really answers her question.
Robin said she didn't understand the analogy he was using. Howard did his Cosby voice and came up with some other ramblings. Howard said Lindsay follows up with a question after that. He played more of the interview and Cosby was just rambling and not making sense. Howard said JD makes more sense. Robin said she doesn't understand. Howard did more of his Cosby and made stuff up that was nonsense.
Howard said you'd think he'd just say this is terrible. He said he's just going on and on. Howard played another clip of Cosby talking about what his legacy is going to be. Cosby starts rambling again. Howard said the guy is a pompous blow hard. He said maybe he drank too much Spanish Fly before the interview.
Robin wondered if they were in the same room at the same time. Howard said they were. He said he had some other people there with him and they were looking like they had no idea what he was going to do next. Howard said he thinks he just wants to confuse people until they forget about the story. Howard said most people would say ''I didn't do it.'' Howard said instead of that he's saying ''The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.''
JD came in and said that Cosby was speaking at some educational thing. He said he was on to help them get their message across. Howard said the three people look like the guys who hand you a diploma. Howard said they had no idea what the fuck Cosby was saying. JD said his one bad eye is kind of creepy too. Howard said he should just go away. Howard said he refuses to go away.
Howard said if he was caught he'd just go away after 35 women come out. Robin said it's very strange. She said she will be there for every interview though.
Howard said they went out on the street and asked about Tom Brady. Howard said they asked what people think about him being water boarded. Howard played some of the answers they got from people on the street. One guy was okay with him being water boarded. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard asked Sal if he really is swearing it off. Sal sad the first time he was a turtle. He said the hypnosis thing isn't for him. He said the private sessions are good but not the public stuff. Howard said that ''My Cock is gone'' has made it into two bits already. Howard said he had a song and a Bruce Jenner bit with it.
Howard said there's a great clip on the internet of B.B. King at some event where he's singing and he pops a string on his guitar and he changes it during the song. Howard said that's how melded he is with that guitar. Howard asked Fred if he saw that. Fred said he did not. Howard played the song parody they made with the Sal ''My cock is gone'' clip in it.
Howard said he imagines they can make a lot of prank calls with that clip. Sal said they're working on it. Howard had a pet psychic hotline call that Sal made using clips of Gary making monkey sounds. Sal asked the woman to speak to his pet monkey. She said that he's tired and mentally drained. Sal had her ask him about falling asleep during work one day. Sal had her listen to his trumpet playing and the woman was singing along with him.
Howard said what's amazing is that she doesn't even try to sign him up to do anything even though the monkey can play the trumpet. Robin said what's amazing is that the woman asks the monkey a question in English when Sal could have asked it. Sal said he has to orchestrate it. Howard asked if he still believes in psychics. Sal said he believes in one. He said that Teresa Caputo is a medium though. Howard said that he's much more entertaining when he's under hypnosis. Howard let Sal go and they played him out with his ''prelevant'' clips.
Howard played the clip of Jon talking to Randy and Randy said he hasn't spoken to him since the first of the money. Jon said they have learned that Big Foot reunited with his estranged brother. He said that they were supposed to drive an hour to meet with Randy and that never happened. Howard played another clip of Randy talking about that. He said he stopped by his place and he wasn't there. He said hopefully he turns up soon.
Howard asked if this is typical for him. Jon said it is not. He said Big Foot never vanishes like this. He said that this is not part of his M.O. Robin asked if they have tried to get in touch with the brother. Jon said they're trying. He said that hasn't happened.
Jon said he tried to talk to the live in helper but he hung up on him. He said that Randy has tried to call that live in helper too and he gets no response. Jon said that they know Big Foot was upset about the bills and all of that. Jon said that Danielle has moved to New Hampshire and she wants nothing to do with him or anything like that. Howard said that Big Foot used to make her squirt out of her ass though. Jon said there is hope that they hook up and find each other.
Howard played a Big Foot bit they had created using In Search Of audio clips with Big Foot clips. Howard said he's seriously concerned. Jon said they have a dedicated tip line at 877-H100-TIP. Jon said that tip line is just for that.
Jon said they did speak to this guy Jason who will be going to Big Foot's residence to see what he can figure out. He said that Big Foot isn't dangerous but he does smoke weed and buy it. He said he's not an angry guy or anything like that.
Robin asked about the brother and what's up with that. Jon said that Big Foot is apparently very angry with his two brothers. He said they just reconciled and they really don't know what is going on. He said they are on the hunt for him. Howard said they want to know anything anyone can find out. There is concern that his brother may have checked him into a facility.
Jon said in talking to Big Foot he indicated that the sex was good with Danielle but the fall out was over money. Jon said that Big Foot was worried that if they got married then the public assistance would change. He said he was upset that she was watching a lot of movies while he was sleeping too.
Howard took another call from a guy who wanted to ask about Game of Thrones. Howard said he has to stop him there. Howard said he heard that Charlie Sheen was on the show tough. He played a clip they made with a Charlie Sheen impersonator talking to the Khaleesi.
Howard said they brought in Arnold Schwarzenegger to liven up the show too. He played another bit with Arnold in Game of Thrones.
Howard said he didn't watch the show this week. He said Jon Hein told him the show got better this week. The caller said that Howard complains about Khaleesi not being naked but in the book she always has one breast exposed. Howard said that they all got hosed with that actress. Howard said that she used to get naked and then she got some fame and stopped getting naked. JD came in and said that his girlfriend told him that the Khaleesi has lesbian relationships in the books too. Howard said it drives Jon Hein nuts when he trashes the show. He said it drives him nuts. Robin said the show was a little better last night. Howard said Robin should get an outfit where her one breast is exposed all the time. Howard said one day it's one side and then the next it's the other side. He said that would be awesome and scary too. Robin said it's not happening on this show or on Game of Thrones.
Howard said Gary would have to explain to guests what's going on with her having one breast out. Howard said he thinks that actress went berserk. He said they should have replaced her with a look alike. Robin said they could have. Robin said they replaced Spartacus. Howard said she should be a sexual animal.
Howard took a call from the Charlie Sheen impersonator who wanted to apologize for his calls last week. He said he's not crazy but then played some sounds and screamed and then hung up.
Howard took a call from Monotone Matt who asked if Beth ever role plays with him. Howard said no. He said she's a very traditional girl. He said he is too. Howard said he just got a note saying that the Khaleesi is the new Sarah Connor in the new Terminator movie. Howard said that's why she's not showing her titties. Howard said if you remember the first Terminator she got topless. Fred said absolutely. Howard said they need Linda Hamilton as the Khaleesi.
Howard said Beth doesn't role play but she did get in a school girl outfit early on. Howard said she was in a low budget movie once and she was dressed as a nurse but they didn't really do anything with that. Howard said there is no weirdness in this relationship. Howard said the other night they made love and they have their positions. He said it's the most fun ever. He said it's great for him. He said he has a sleep over every night and sometimes he gets sex. He said she looks stunning. Robin said she saw her on The Talk on Thursday. Robin said she was going to tweet that she saw her on there but she wasn't able to get into her account.
Howard said Beth looks great and she has sex with him. He said he doesn't need to role play. Robin asked what's going on with Matt. He's making all kinds of noise. Howard asked Matt what's wrong with him. Matt said he has ADHD but that's all he's been diagnosed with. Howard said he has no idea what he just said. Howard said there has to be something else. Matt said he may have non military PTSD. Howard asked what that comes from. Matt said it's from the way he was raised and from being sent to the Dominican Republic as a kid.
Howard asked why he was sent to the Dominican Republic. Matt said his father sent him there to finish school. Matt said he was locked up from 17 to 20. Howard said that's a great way to threaten a kid. Matt said that he was taken to a van and then flown to the Dominican Republic. Howard said that people need to know more about that. He said he must have been a massive fuck up for his parents to do that. Howard asked if his parents ever kept in touch. Matt said they did. He said they came to visit. Howard said he's all fucked up so it must not have worked.
Robin asked what kind of drug problem he had. Matt said that his parents were told he had done LSD. Howard asked if he was beaten as a kid. Matt said his dad used a belt on him. He said he got swatted down in the Dominican Republic too. Howard asked if he was nude when he got spanked. Matt said he got spanked with his underwear on. Howard asked if he ever popped a boner. Matt said no. He said he used to put padding in his underwear and his dad found out so he ripped his underwear off.
Gary asked if he used a hand or a paddle. Matt said he used a belt. Robin said this is what happens when you beat your child.
Gary said they have a game of Two Truths and a Lie with Matt. Gary said that the choices were ''I lost my virginity at 14 to my cousin. I write and sing my own music. I have purple belt in Jujitsu. The two truths were the virginity and the music.
Howard told Matt that Beth does not role play. Howard said that Jon Leiberman has some facts about the school that Matt went to in the Dominican Republic. Jon came back in and said that they did a documentary about the school years ago. Jon said that what they were most known for was rehabilitating homosexual kids. Matt said that was one part of it. Howard asked if he was getting it on with dudes. Matt said that happened one time. He said he gave a kid a hand job in a bunk below him. He said that happened at that school. Howard said they taught him how to be gay at the school.
Matt said that he did things in a shed with friends too. He said people were blowing each other. He said he may have blown some guys and some guys may have blown him. Jon said that Matt's dad sent him there because he was caught in the shed performing oral sex. Matt said it was over the drugs and cutting himself. Howard asked why he did that. Matt laughed and said he doesn't know.
Jon said he thought that they sent him to that school to rehab him from being gay. Matt said it wasn't about that. Howard said he blew some guys so he is gay. Matt said he's not gay. Howard said if he blew a guy he's gay. Howard asked when he last did that. Matt said it was years ago.
Howard asked what they teach in class on how not to be gay. Matt said he wasn't taught anything. Matt said that he got some counseling after he was caught doing the hand job thing. Robin said this is the best story ever. She said that he was doing gay stuff at a school where they try to teach how not to be gay.
Matt told a story about how he was stuck in a room with a bucket of his own shit. Howard asked Matt how long it was in there before they removed it. Matt said it was in there for the morning. He said that you have to empty it out in the toilet. He said some people had their shit checked but not him. He said he's not sure why the had to have that checked. Matt said he was there from the age of 17 to 20. Howard asked if he was on good behavior after that. Matt said he went to work at McDonald's and then got back into doing drugs. Jon said it was also 100 plus degrees in that room with the shit in it. Robin wondered what that cost.
Howard said he was going to goof on his PTSD but not now that he's heard the story. Howard said he would rather be in the Dominican Republic than in Roosevelt though.
Jon asked if Matt became more religious. Matt said he did for a while but now he's not religious at all. Howard let Matt go after that. He said he heard David Crosby is in the house so he has to get ready for him. Howard said he came in once years ago but he forgot about that. Howard said that there can't be anything better than Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. They went to break after that.
Howard said that he bets David knew Jimi Hendrix. Howard said he listens to him every weekend. He listens to Crosby, Stills and Nash every weekend too. Howard said he has a little studio where he paints and he can blast the music in there. Howard said he's in there for hours. Howard said he was just listening to him. Howard asked why he loves the album 4 Way Street so much and they hate it. David said he doesn't hate it. He said that the box set is so much better though. Howard said that he heard that they didn't like it but he thinks it's the most awesome. David said that he thinks he's awesome himself. Howard said he is magnificent.
Howard asked David how he's doing. David said he feels good for an elderly person. He said he's 73 now. Howard said he remembers looking at him on an album cover and thinking he's the best dude he's ever seen. David said the truth is that he's actually 92 years old. He said he did it by eating Twinkies. He said the preservative preserves you too.
Howard asked what his musical influences were. David said his dad played, his brother played and his mom sang in choirs. David said his dad made films too. He said he won an Oscar and a Golden Globe. Howard asked if it's tough growing up with a dad like that. David said no. He said he did think about becoming and actor. He said that was because of the girls. Howard said he chose a better profession for that. David said that you had to be in a movie that women had actually seen to get women. Howard asked if he ever did act. David said he was in the movie Hook and he loved it. David said that acting doesn't pay very well. He said there are 1000 actors for every job. He said he wanted to be a singer from the get go.
Howard said his brother was a good musician too. David said he was. He said he gave him his first guitar. Howard said his brother committing suicide must have been rough on him. David said that he didn't like the big city thing. He said he lost him in the 90s. Howard said he taught him how to play guitar. David said he did. He said he was a really nice guy too.
Howard asked who else taught him. David said that Travis Evinson is the guy. Howard said David was a really bad guy in school. Howard said he didn't do anything seriously horrible but he was a wise ass. David said he was and he got thrown out of just about every school he went to. He said that his parents never hit him but maybe that would have done him some good. Howard said he was a bad boy and he was a thief. David said he used to rob houses. He said that he stopped when he saw a picture of a woman in a house and he realized what he was doing. David said that the music triumphed. Howard said they had a whole ring of cat burglars. David said it wasn't like that. He said they were just goofing off looking for a thrill. He said that they'd steal booze.
Howard said David met Bob Dylan and he didn't think he was that good. David said he snuck in to see him perform one night. He said everyone was thrilled but he thought that he could sing better than that. He said then he started listening to the words and he almost quit when he realized how great he was at writing songs.
Howard said David hooked up with the Byrds and they were a folk band. David told Howard about watching Winton Marsalis the other night and the band is just so good. Howard said he doesn't hear any bands doing harmonies anymore. David said there are some but they're not big. He said that there's a band called Venice that's doing it. He said they're a vocal band out of Venice, California and they do back up for Roger Waters and they're fantastic. Howard said there aren't people doing what they did.
David said that the truth is that there are constructed little girls coming out of Hollywood that he calls Pop Tarts. Howard said back in his day they were singing about things that mattered. David said that they were and their music still stands up to time. Howard said the new music won't be like that. Robin said the music mattered back then. David said it made you feel something.
Howard said that David was also in Lex Baxters Balladeers. David said he was but he was hoping he wouldn't remember that. Howard said they had to wear uniforms and he was happy when they got stolen. David said he was the one who stole them.
Howard said David got into the Byrds and he found out how great it could be being in a band. David said that Roger McGuinn a genius. Howard played some of the song ''Mr. Tambourine Man'' and asked David about how he started writing his own music. David said that he had started writing before but they were all finding it in the band. Howard asked about ''8 Miles High'' and how that was written. David told Howard about how that worked and how they worked it out together. He said the interesting thing is that he was playing some John Coltrain for Roger and that inspired him to do some different things. David said he loves Jazz and he is a secret jazzer. He said his son has a jazz band now.
Howard asked if he knew he had a hit on his hands with ''8 Miles High.'' David said they were more worried about the word ''high'' being in it. He said secretly it was about dope. Howard asked if radio stations didn't want to play it because of that. David said there were some stations they lost but it was a hit anyway.
Howard asked if the recording session is just one day for that. David said that has a good story behind it too. He said that they snuck off to RCA and did a better record that they could never use. He said that they recorded it twice. He said they did it once at RCA and once at CBS. Howard said that he has the CBS version. He played some of the song ''8 Miles High.''
Howard asked if he broke up the Byrds because he lost interest. David said no. He said that they outgrew each other. He said he was writing a lot and he wanted his songs to be on the records. Howard asked what the deal was with Roger. He asked if he had 2 songs and album. David said it was something like that. He said they were all young and foolish. He said they had big egos too. He said when Gene split he was already hanging out with Stills. He said that Roger and Chris fired him from the Byrds.
Howard asked if it's scary to go off with Stills and do his own thing. David said he likes making money and making his own music. Howard said he was friends with Mama Cass too. David said she was one of his best friends in his life. Howard said they were making music and having fun together. David said she was a really good friend. He said he never wrote with her but he spent a lot of time with her. He said they talked about everything under the sun. He said they were really tight but it was never sexual. He said she brought Nash to him. Howard asked how that happened. David said that she liked Nash and she brought him over to his house. He said he got him stoned out of his gourd. He said that he had the best weed back then. Howard said back then it was hard to get good weed. David said his wasn't bad weed. He said it was fun back then.
David said he once gave some weed to Linda Ronstadt and she called up later asking if he had put acid in it because the stuff was so strong.
Howard asked about the song Triad and if he wrote that about having a threesome with some women. David said he was in love with 3 women and he was singing about that. Howard asked if he was asking if he could be in love with more than one woman. David said that's kind of it. Howard asked if he would have been a boyfriend to Joni Mitchell and to this woman Christine. David said the question was more about lust than love. He said he had managed to do that a couple of times.
Howard played the song ''Triad'' and told David he loves this one. He said the song is all over the place. David said that's because of the secret jazzer in him. Howard said he remembers hearing this in high school wondering why he can't just get one girl, never mind 3.
Howard said that David went to Florida and found Joni Mitchell. David said she was just awesome. He said he never thought anyone could be that good. He said she knocked him against the back wall. Howard said they became lovers too. David said they did. Howard asked if it was before James Taylor. David said he was her lover before anyone. He said she had Nash and then James Taylor and then Jackson. He said he wrote a song about all of her boyfriends. Howard asked what the name of the song was. He said he won't tell him.
David mentioned that he was in love with Christine after all of that. Howard said that is a tragic story. Howard said she was taking the cat to a vet appointment and didn't have it in a cage. She ended up crashing into a bus head on. David said he never recovered from that. He said he took a lot of hard drugs after that. He said he didn't know how to deal with it. He said he had no equipment to deal with it. He said he tried with the therapy but that didn't work. He said it took a long time.
David said that he and his wife were watching The Fisher King and there's a scene where Robin Williams wakes up and asked if he can miss her now. He said that was so exactly right. He said he started to weep and wail. He said he thought that he had to go to the hospital. He said that his wife talked him down and he wrote a song about it. Howard asked how old she was when she died. David said she was just 21. He said it was so tragic. Howard said it took him along time to get over it. David said he stuffed it and denied the feelings. He said that he tried not to feel it. He said that's the wrong thing to do. He said you have to go through it now or it'll stay in you for 20 years and fester like it did with him.
Howard said James Taylor was talking about what snapped him out of the drug thing when he saw Belushi die. David said he's such a good cat.
Howard asked if he was close to Jimi Hendrix. David said he was. David said there are so many people that they lost to drugs and he had to stop because of that. He said that they came close to losing him too. Howard asked how close he came. David said he had to go to the hospital once. He said that it takes a long time to gain wisdom. He said he's one of the luckiest guys alive.
David said that he had to quit smoking and he's completely sober right now but he will go back to smoking weed. He said that he went to some rehab stuff for a while. He said that they'd tell him not to do it but he's in charge there so he's going to do what he wants.
Howard said he had Neil Young in there a few months ago. He said that he was distressed over what David said about him dating Daryl Hannah. David said he screwed up. He said he shot his mouth off when he shouldn't have. He said that he said it when he thought an interview was over. He said he's a screw up. He said that she's making Neil happy and he wants Neil happy. David said he's sorry for saying what he said. He said he has no right to look down on her. He said it was completely out of line. He thanked Howard for letting him apologize. David said he can do that to politicians but not to someone like her. He said that she hasn't had it easy either. David said he feels the same way about Nash too. He said he just wants those guys to be happy.
Howard asked if it was out of love for them. David said it was. He said it's not his place to judge but he worries about those guys. He said he regrets it a lot. He said he called Neil and he wanted him to print a retraction. He said the first thing he did was apologize to him. He said that he apologizes to Daryl right now. He said he was just wrong. Howard said it takes a big man to do that.
Howard said Neil Young only follows one person on Twitter and that's David. Howard said that's wild. David said he should follow more. It's fun.
Howard asked David about how hard it is being in a band and keeping it together. Howard said that Neil had to go off and do his own thing or whatever. He said Crosby, Stills and Nash have stayed in the game. David said that they all have a respect for one another. He said the bottom line is the songs. He said Stephen Stills and Graham Nash have great songs.
Howard said he hopes that Neil hears this interview somehow. He said that it might help out with the apology. Howard asked about the guys putting out the Crosby Stills and Nash album and how that all came about. David said that it all happened at Joni's house. He said that Stephen is convinced it didn't. Howard said the first album was great and then they had Neil Young join. Howard said that David was indifferent about him joining. David said that Neil stopped by Joni's house one day and played him a few songs. He said that after that he wanted him in the band. Howard asked how it works when he comes into a band like that. David said that they just work it out.
Howard ran down some of the songs David wrote for the band. He played clips of the songs and David gave himself a pat on the back for writing such great songs.
Howard talked to David about being in the movie Woodstock and how great that worked out for them. Howard said that Leslie West always talks about how they didn't agree to be in it and that was a big mistake.
Howard asked about writing the song ''Ohio'' and how they wrote that. David said he remembers Neil writing the song and calling Graham to get a studio right then. He said they wrote the song and then they went right in and recorded it. He said he and Neil went in and got the song right out. He said their job is to make you feel stuff but part of the job is to get the news out there. Howard said he got his news from the rock bands back then. David said they knew there was a problem. He said they had to do something about it.
Howard asked David if he was the first person to hear the Beatles song ''A Day in the Life.'' David said he thinks he was. He said he was hanging out hearing them recording the song. David said there are pictures of them hanging out there. He said that they liked the Byrds and they said that publicly. He said he turned George on to Ravi Shankar. He said look what happened there.
David said that he remembers being there during that recording and being really high. He said that album rewrote the rules. Howard asked what he said to them about that. David said you just say ''Holy shit!... What?''
Howard said that David wrote another great song and played ''Wooden Ships'' for him. David said he has never had a hit. He said that he's had some album hits but not single hits.
David told Howard they played the other night and they killed it. Howard said they have done some great concerts. Howard said this song is about war survivors escaping on a ship.
Howard played ''Guinnevere'' and said that David wrote that about Joni Mitchell. David said he'd play that for her and she'd play him 3 songs that she wrote the night before. He said they hope she makes it out of what she's going through now. He said that she had a rough go there. Howard said that's the bitch about getting older. David said he lost 3 or 4 friends in the past year. He said it is tough.
Howard said what kills him about rock stars is that they can trade women like crazy and they don't get upset. David said that it's not like they own the women. He said they make their own decisions. He said Joni picked each guy she was with. He said that she had a string of people she was with and she loved it. Howard asked if he would have married her. David said that he knew better. He said he knew that Graham would be better with her. He said he was a gentleman and he was smart. David said he had already fallen for Christine. He said that you can't dictate that stuff. He said it was all righteous.
Howard asked who the other woman was that he fell in love with. David said he will never say. David said it's someone with green eyes but that's all he'll say.
Howard asked if he remembers playing that song for Joni the first time. David said he does. He said they performed it the other night.
Howard said that David has a solo album coming out and he will play some of that today. Howard said that you can find out about his solo tour on DavidCrosby.com
David said that if he goes out solo he can do a lot more of the tale telling than he can do when he's on tour with CSN. He said that it's all about the songs in the solo thing. He said he's looking forward to it hugely. He said he hasn't done that in over 30 years.
Howard said he had really long hair in high school and he remembers hearing that song ''Almost Cut my Hair'' it really got to him. He said it was like his anthem. Howard played some of that for David and David said they recorded it just as you hear it. He said they didn't have one over dub on that record. He said this may have been the first take too. Howard asked if he misses those kind of sessions. David said he does miss that. He said you can over do it these days. He said it makes it too generic. Howard said that is such a great performance.
Howard said that he had Melissa Etheridge in there talking about how he donated his sperm for her kid. David said Melissa and Julie saw his son when he was a kid and they asked how you get a kid like that. He said his wife pointed at him and they all looked at him. He said that his wife kept pointing at him. He said that not many women would do that. He said that's why he's so in love with her. He said she's a great human being. He said Melissa and Julie are great people and he thought there is no way in hell they shouldn't have kids. He said he's happy he did it because they're great kids. David said Melissa is a great person. Howard asked if the kids have had contact. David said they have. He said they're super bright kids. He said they call him David. He said they can call him Croz too. David said that Howard would love them too.
Howard asked how the whole process works. Howard asked if he had sex with them. David said that he didn't have sex with them. Howard said he knows he had to beat off. David came up with the essence or cream deluxe and then they took that and did what they had to. Howard asked if he ever thought of doing a prank and give them someone else's sperm. David said he never thought of that. He said that he wanted to give them that gift. He said he had to do it two different times. David said that the interview turned right at this point. He said it's like Howard from 20 years ago.
Howard asked David about this new album and asked him what he was going to play. David told Howard about what the song is about and Howard said he would produce for him. David asked if he can say fuck on here. Howard said no, how dare you... David set up the guitar for him and asked to hear some of it in his headphones. Howard asked the guys why he can't hear his guitar in his headphones. Gary came in and said they say he has to have it in his headphones. Howard said he's sorry but he doesn't know what's wrong. Howard asked if he likes his tuning. Howard asked for an explanation. David told him it's not a problem. He took the headphones off and did it without them. David went into the song ''Somebody Home.''
After the song Howard said that's beautiful. He said he's a good man. Howard said he's going to start looking inside women. Howard asked who the green eyed woman was. David said he can't say. He said he made a promise to her. Robin said she must have been married. David said he didn't say that.
Howard said David is the best. He said his solo album ''Croz'' is everywhere. Howard said he's going to start a solo acoustic tour soon too. He said you can find out more about that at DavidCrosby.com
Howard thanked David for the great interview. David said he has a great time with him. He said he'll come in anytime. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard took a call and ended up talking over the guy about how great David Crosby is. He said that it was great to have him in there. The caller congratulated him on the Letterman show and how he was number one over all of the other guests last week. Howard asked if that's right. Howard said people say he's irrelevant but apparently not. The caller said he is the King of all Media. Howard said he didn't know that.
The caller asked what he would do if he had an 11 year old son who gets caught watching porn on his phone. He said that's what happened to his sister and she's freaking out. Howard said he would sit him down because it's very graphic and that's not what sex is all about. Howard said you have to open up a dialog. Howard said he would handle it man to man and ask what his thoughts are about it. He said at some point he'd say that it doesn't represent sex in real life. Howard said you have a mother and sisters or whatever and women are people too. Howard said it depends on what he saw. Howard said you have to open up a dialog. Howard said what he'd say exactly depends on a lot of things. Howard said you do have to talk about it though.
Howard said that he'd bring in Uncle Ronnie to talk about all of that. Howard asked what Uncle Ronnie would say. Fred did his Ronnie voice and talked about seeing the ''tuna sushi'' and things like that.
Howard told the caller to tell his sister not to worry too much. He said that these things happen. He said she should just talk to the kid about it.
Howard and Fred did their Ronnie voices talking to the 11 year old about what to do. Robin said one of the most disturbing things about the Ronnie hypnosis was when they asked Ronnie about the dog thing and he said they should ask the dog why he had to stay in the room. Robin said that was very crazy.
Howard said they asked Underdog Lady what she thinks of the Bruce Jenner thing. Howard played the clip and Underdog said she thinks that he did something wrong and he's setting himself up for a bad afterlife.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who asked if he saw Jane Pauley's interview with David Letterman. Howard said he missed it. Tommy said she talked to Dave about his drinking and what a problem it was in the past. He told Howard he has to see this interview. He said it's the best he's seen with Dave so far. Howard said he's not sure why he's doing all of these interviews. Howard said he was interviewed by the NY Times about Dave on Friday. Howard said he may want another gig so that might be why he's doing the interviews. Howard said they'll see what happens.
Tommy asked if Robin saw Penn Jillette on Celebrity Jeopardy. Robin said she did not. Tommy said he is a strange looking guy and he's very unlikable. Howard said people say the same thing about him. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard said the guy he backed on American Idol won. Howard said that he met him on America's Got Talent when he was on that show. Howard said he was a big fan of his band but the judges weren't so enthusiastic. Howard said that this proves that his name is Nick Fradiani. Howard said he is really good. Howard said that he talked to Nick and he's not going to leave his band.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he loves his interviews. He said that he got into an argument with his wife just so he could get off the phone and get back to the interview. He also said the best thing about Five Finger Death Punch is that it only takes one finger to change the station. He said their covers are good but their original songs are terrible. Howard played their cover of ''Bad Company'' and said he loves that song.
Robin asked how Howard decides to play certain songs. Howard said that he listens to select songs on his play list. Howard said he will play an album once in a while. He said that it's fascinating to be with him. He said it's all a very involved situation. He said he listens a lot while he paints. Robin said she doesn't do that so she doesn't seem to find the time to listen to an album.
Robin read a story about a couple of BASE jumpers that died in Yosemite national park yesterday. Robin said they were trying to do a winged flight when something went wrong. Robin said their bodies were found on Sunday afternoon. Howard said this is what you expect to happen when you do things like that. Robin read some details about the men who were killed.
Howard said that he would like to welcome back Ken Levine to the listening family. He said he wrote a beautiful blog about coming back to listening to the show after years of not listening.
Howard ended up going into his mom's voice talking about the wing suit guys who died over the weekend.
Robin read that ABC is having some issues with George Stephanopoulos like NBC had with Brian Williams. Robin said that George is apologizing all over the place. She said ABC is hoping that helps and they don't have to suspend him. Robin said he's been donating to the Clinton Global Initiative. Robin had some audio of him talking about those donations. Howard said he has to set the record straight. Howard said when you give to charity then you applaud them. Howard said most people are cheap fucks and don't give to anything. Howard said the idea that anchor people are not biased or shouldn't be ding commercials is outrageous. Howard said that he wants to know about that stuff. Howard said the charity donation is public record. He said the anchors are just talking heads. He said Brian Williams doesn't know anything. He said only idiots fall for that stuff. Howard and Robin went back and forth arguing about that for a couple of minutes.
Robin read about David Letterman's final show being on this Wednesday. Howard wondered what he'll do on that final show. Howard said he wishes they'd have him there to interview Dave for a full hour. Howard said he'd probably turn that down if they offered it to him. Howard played a clip of Dave talking about how no one will ever see him again and then laughing. Robin said that was Dave's way of telling a joke. Robin had a couple of other clips of Dave talking about the big changes in his life and how they scare him but ultimately they turn out to be great. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said Norm MacDonald went on Letterman and cried on his last appearance. Howard said he thinks Dave and Norm have a special thing. Howard said Norm was telling Dave's favorite joke and he started crying. Howard played a clip and he said it was like seeing Spock cry. Norm was talking about the first time he saw Dave when he was 13 years old. Howard said Shuli cried seeing Norm cry. Howard played more of Norm breaking up as he was talking about Dave. He told Dave he loves him and he was on the verge of tears. Robin said she's shocked at Norm. Robin said she didn't know that kind of thing could come out of him. Robin said it was very touching.
Robin read some stuff about B.B. King's death and played some of his music. Howard played the version of his song that had Sal's Cock is Gone in it. Robin read more about B.B. King and had Howard play more of his stuff. Fred said that if you want just one album then get ''Live at the Regal''. He said he's an amazing guitar player. Howard said that Shuli once pushed B.B. in a wheelchair at the airport and he got a $100 tip for that.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who said that David Crosby interview was great. He also talked about the song Judy Blue Eyes being about Joni Mitchell and he wonders if he called her Judy. Howard said he called her Jewy actually. Howard told him to get off his phone. Fred did his Speech Impediment Man impression and goofed on him for a second. Howard said he loves Speech but he can go off on a tangent.
Robin said they had a special Keeping up with the Kardashians with Bruce Jenner this weekend. Robin had some clips from that show. Howard had Fred play a clip of Bruce waking up after the cock surgery. Fred played Sal screaming ''Dude my cock is gone!'' They played a couple more clips of Bruce and then Howard did another live commercial read.
Robin read about how Hozier won a Billboard award. Robin said Taylor Swift also won multiple awards. Robin said she kicked off the show with her new video for ''Bad Blood.'' Robin read about the awards she won. Robin had some clips from the award show. Howard had Fred doing his Ronnie impression talking about Taylor Swift in a very creepy way. They played some clips and Howard was puzzled as to why performers do songs at these shows that get censored so much. He played an example of a song that was so chopped up it was hard to follow.
Robin read a story about a biker gang shoot out that went down in Waco, Texas. Howard said that it was like a scene out of Sons of Anarchy. Robin said that it was at least 3 biker gangs who converged at a grille. Robin said when the police realized it was going to happen they tried to get the bar shut down but the owners refused. Robin had some audio of an official talking about that. Robin said 9 people died and they were all bikers.
Robin read that the Boston Bomber was sentenced to death. Howard said he couldn't be happier. Howard said what that scum bag did... Robin said it won't be happening soon though. Howard said if this guy has any decency he will waive his rights and just let them kill him. Howard said if he doesn't then it might be 10-15 years before they get to kill him.
Robin read about ISIS and had some audio of John Kerry talking about what they're doing. Robin said that a Pentagon spokesperson said that the U.S. may step up and help Iraq take back the city they took over.
Robin read a story about how Rick Perry might try again to run for President. Robin said that the announcement will come June 4th.
Robin read about the train derailment in Philadelphia and how that's back up and running now. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon also asked Rahsaan what the poll is today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''Where Do You Think Big Foot (it) is?'' The choices were:
Jason asked if they think that Big Foot has a claim to the iron throne. Jon said that's possible.
Jon asked Jason how one as big as Big Foot goes missing. Jason said he thinks he could disappear into the crazy underground of hobos and weirdos. He said it wouldn't surprise him if he gathered a group of wildling's that he took to the big cities to take over. Jon said hopefully they'll find him. He said he can't believe he's missing. He said maybe he's going to take a Don Draper like cruise across the country. Jason said sometimes you just have to get out of town. He said maybe he's just trying to find himself. Jason said maybe he's trying to find another ass to make squirt. He said he really is concerned. Jason said he thinks Big Foot could squeeze a bear to death though. They went to break a short time later.
Jason said all he wants is for Fred to do Ronnie and Nicole Bass on the show from now on. He doesn't need them on the show, he just wants Fred to do their voices.
Jason talked about how great the Sour Shoes impression of Artie is. He said that the whole Artie, Gary discussion thing was like atrip down the rabbit hole of insanity. He said it's hilarious. He said the ease that he moves through them with is amazing.
Jon said today they had David Crosby in and he apologized to Daryl Hannah and Neil Young. Jason said he made multiple attempts to get it out too. He said he thought that was really amazing. Jon said it sounded like he was really sorry and he wasn't just doing it because he wants to tour with Neil again or anything.
Jon said that Crosby rolled with Howard very well. He said he's 73 and his memory is pretty sharp for someone who has done so many drugs. Gary said he thinks he's doing pretty good.
Jon said that David talked about how he wanted to try acting when he was younger to meet girls but he was always into singing. He said he was a burglar too so he's led quite a life. Gary said they have a thing up on their web site about who has been in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame twice. David is one of them.
Jon said David talked about how the pop stars of today he calls ''Pop Tarts.'' Gary said that's such a great description. They spent a minute talking about that.
Jon took a call from a woman who asked about David Crosby and what was going on with his head set. She said Howard was surprisingly calm with that. She wondered if anyone gets chewed out after the show. Gary said there is an investigation going on. He said he's going to do a recreation to see what went wrong.
Jon said that David said he has never a hit. Gary said he's never had a top 40 song of his own. Gary asked if ''Almost Cut My Hair'' was a hit. Jon said no. Gary said that everyone in their generation knows and loves that song though. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said Sal said he won't do hypnosis anymore. Gary said that list is very long. He said he won't do them until he does them again. Jason asked if they ever figured out what Sal did with his hair. Gary said they're still looking into that. Jon said he is doing something with it but they're not sure what.
Jon said they also heard about Sal's nightmare after the hypnosis. Jon wondered what this means now that Sal says he won't do it anymore. Gary said that he will go to Scott Schmaren privately but not on the air. Jason said he's fascinated when he says that most psychics are real but the ''medium'' Teresa Caputo is real. He said he knows there is no way any of them are real. He said he's sure they could test them and figure that out. Jason said he'd love to know what is going on with him and why he feels the need to better himself with a hypnotist. He said most people would go to a psychiatrist. Gary said he'd love to know what Sal and the Long Island Medium's husband do on a typical day.
Jon asked Gary if he knew Howard had the shoulder pain. Gary said he did hear something about it but he didn't know it was this serious.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they confirmed that Monotone Matt is a Wack Packer. Gary said he thinks that he is a Wack Packer and it must irritate the shit out of Captain Janks and Bobo that he shot to the top like that. Gary asked who the newest one is before Matt. It might be Big Foot. Jason said he would say that it might be Tan Mom. Gary said he might be right. Jason said she functions like a Wack Packer but they do use her like one even though they didn't really find her.
Jon said it seems like Big Foot was accepted from the first time he spoke. Jason said it was great because Artie said ''I think we're done'' as soon as they heard him speak for the first time.
Jon said the poll is about Big Foot so he asked Rahsaan what the results were. Rahsaan said that first place was ''Brian Williams Claims to..'' with 47 percent. The Esalen Institute came in second with 30-something percent and Syria with 19 percent. Westeros came in last.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and some plugs for Jason before ending the show. They were done around Noon.
Howard started the show talking about how he wanted to get right to it. He had Speech Impediment Man on the phone. He said they have Pitbull and Roger Daltrey stopping in today. Speech Impediment Man said that Roger Daltrey is his favorite. Howard asked what he wants to say. Speech Impediment Man asked if he's going to announce his last week's guests when he retires. Howard said he doesn't know. Robin said she talked to Rob Burnett about the last shows and Rob told her that she'll experience it. Robin said she hopes they don't even know and they just go away without that. She said Howard may just not sign and they'll go away.
Howard said they did carry on like maniacs when they went to satellite. He said they were going off into the vast unknown. Howard said he hopes they don't get an organized send off. Howard said if it doesn't happen with Sirius this year then they may just go away. Howard said they're nowhere near close with a deal with Sirius. He said they may just do a last show one day and that's it. Fred said he hopes he can keep his subscription at least. Howard said they'll probably shut that off. Speech Impediment Man asked him to get Don Rickles at least. Howard said he had to go after that.
Howard said he loves the Baba Booeys at the golf tournaments. Howard said now there's a thing where people are yelling out ''I'm a turtle'' about Sal but no one gets that. Howard said he's not digging it. Howard played a clip of someone yelling that out at a tournament. The guy yells out a quick ''I'm a turtle!'' Howard said he loves that people spread the word of the show. He said ''Dude, my cock is gone'' might be a better one but it might cause some problems.
Howard played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a show where they told the hosts that they lost their pet rooster. Then they play Sal yelling about his cock being gone. then the rooster comes back to life and Sal is happy his cock is back. Then it dies again and he's yelling about his cock being gone.
Howard said Charlie Sheen was up there the other day and he ran into Elephant Boy. He said they had their microphones there. Howard played a bit that Elephant Boy and fake Charlie Sheen did.
Howard said that they had Medicated Pete up there recently and they put a microphone on him to hear what he does. Howard said he has OCD and Tourettes syndrome. Howard said that they hung the microphone on him and it was kind or torturous to listen to. Howard said he was in the bathroom in this one clip. Howard played that and Pete obsessively says ''How you doing?'' to everyone. He makes all kinds of noise in the bathroom too. Howard said Robin is laughing at that.
Howard said they taped him for like 60 minutes and Pete said ''how you doing'' about 57 times. Howard said he also said good or nice 67 times. Howard said he cleared his throat 156 times. He said that guy is tortured. Howard said he saw Pete out there the day he did Letterman. He said he's a good guy. Howard played more of Pete singing along to a song and making different sounds.
Howard said Asian Pete came up there that day and he ran into Medicated Pete. Howard played the clip of the two of them running into each other. Medicated Pete didn't understand what Asian Pete was saying.
Howard played some of the ''good and nice'' clips that Medicated Pete said during his time up there. Howard said it's a total of 216 times. Howard said that it's back and forth. He said that he said '''what's up'' a lot too. Howard said it's torturous for the guy. Howard played some of those. He also said hi to Scott the Engineer and Howard said Pete's the only one who says hi to Scott.
Howard said Pete may not have been on his meds that day. Gary told Howard that Jon Leiberman told him that Pete is off all of his meds. Howard wondered why he would want to be tortured like that. Gary said Pete doesn't like the side effects. Howard asked if they're worse than this. He was playing Pete clearing his throat and stuff.
Jon Leiberman told Howard that Pete had some issues with his erection and things like that from the medication. Howard said the medication may help him because he's not getting laid anyway. Howard said sexual dysfunction may be worse if you're twitching and saying ''what's going on'' every second. Robin said maybe he just wants to pleasure himself. Howard let out and ''ugh'' when he heard that. Howard said Pete is around and he's hanging out.
Howard asked if Jon has a girlfriend. Jon said he does and she's an attorney in Philly. He said her name is heather. He said she's way too beautiful for him.
Howard said Big Foot was home the whole time. Howard said they called people and asked where he was and they all thought he was missing. Jon said they got a lot of tips about him and one was from a police officer in that town saying he saw him in town 2 days ago. He said that he was looking despondent but he said he was doing fine. Jon said he called the cop back yesterday and they got a burner phone for Big Foot and they went to his house to take it to him. He said they found Big Foot on his couch pretty despondent. He said they gave him the phone so they'll try to get him on the phone today or tomorrow.
Howard said they set up a tip line for that and they got about 50 calls that were complete bullshit. Howard played some of those calls. One guy said he saw Big Foot in a parking lot of a donut shop. Jon said they got dozens of calls on the tip line.
Howard said Big Foot is home. Jon said they haven't spoken to him yet. He said the cops gave him the phone last night. Jon said they will call him today or tomorrow. Howard said he wants to know what's going on. Jon said he was missing for at least a week. Howard thanked Jon and told him to go get the answers.
Howard said Kevin Cronin was being interviewed with his wife and kids and people were asking if he heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend. Howard said Kevin says he didn't even write that song. Howard asked JD if he has that clip. JD said no but he can have it in a second. Howard played another PGA tournament where someone yelled out Baba Booey.
Howard said he has to congratulate Joey Boots. Howard said he saw a clip of Joey walking around in Manhattan and this black guy was yelling out about something against white people. Howard said that Joey goes to the guy on camera and asks him what he means by ''you people'' dying. Howard said Joey asked if he was asking about white people. He said Joey calls him a racist asshole to his face. Howard said Joey stands his ground and the guys are calling him a white devil. Joey said they got mad at that after a while. Howard said as crazy as they were Joey seems 50 times crazier. Howard said then the black guys go up and pick on a gay guy and Joey stepped in. Howard said he's like a super hero. Joey thanked him for watching his videos.
Joey said he went to a movie premiere for a movie called ''Heaven Knows Why'' and Robert Patinson was there. Joey said he was sitting across form him and he left his phone on the floor. Joey said he had his phone and his friend told him to take it into the bathroom and take a picture in there. Joey said he took a picture of his penis, face and nipple. He said he gave his phone back to him later and right now he has a picture of his penis, nipple and face. Howard said that it was nice that he gave him his phone back. Robin said he took it into the men's room though. Robin said he's going to find the pictures and think he wiped them all over his genitals. Howard said Joey did a good deed giving it back to him though. Robin said she would just give it back to the guy. Howard said he would too.
Joey said that Robert is so hot. He said he had butterflies hanging around him. Joey said he is so fucking gay now. Howard said he's extremely gay now. Howard said Joey went from not knowing what he is to gay people saying that he's too gay. Howard let Joey go after that.
Howard said they ran into Hozier and they asked him about Robin being into him. Howard played a clip of Hozier thanking them for the support. He said he hopes to get on the show soon and meet Robin. Howard played Robin singing one of Hozier's songs and then a song parody to the tune of his hit song. They went to break after that.
Howard said he hesitates to comment in these matters because you don't know what the story is behind it. Howard said there is no reference to police being called or anything. Howard said he looks at the report and wonders if it's fair to go after Bill O'Reilly. Howard said he met a guy once who told him that he knew of an ice patch and said his lawyer told him to take a picture of it and fake that he fell there. Howard said he heard that and never spoke to the guy again. Howard said he read this Al Sharpton wife story about how she's suing over hurting herself hiking. He said that's not cool. Howard said if O'Reilly did do this to his wife then fuck him. He said if he didn't do it then he feels for the guy. Howard said you just don't know what the whole story is.
The caller said if you're the moral authority you can't keep all of this stuff hidden. Howard said that he doesn't know what that is. He said he doesn't know how to respond to that. Robin said that he appreciates what this guy has to say about Bill O'Reilly telling people how to run their lives but he can't run his own. Robin said he's in this mess and he chose it. Howard said you don't know what you're going to end up with in a relationship. Howard said if it is true then he should be fired by FOX News.
Howard said FOX News sure knows how to pick their anchors. Howard said they have so many hot chicks. He said it's dizzying. Robin said they work next to the FOX News building and they have pictures of all of those hot chicks out there. Howard said they did the brackets for those chicks. JD piked a hot weather chick. Howard said that she's not the hottest. JD said the winner was Leah Gabrielle. Howard said he's not sure how he missed that one. JD said she's a tall brunette. He said she's not on a whole lot but she caught his eye one day.
Howard said JD is watching TV all day long so he sees these things. They played a song parody about JD that was done by Daniel Mendelson. Howard said that JD picked Anna Kooiman on his brackets. JD said that was last year. He said she got married so that knocked her down a few spots. Howard said FOX news is so great because all of the guys are ugly and the women are hot.
Howard said this guy is explaining that he's a shadow royal guard. Howard said he still makes more sense than JD. Howard said JD should wear a full costume. JD said that's hilarious. Howard told him to make it happen. JD said he was kidding. Howard said he thought JD thought it was a good idea.
Howard did more of his impression of the guy in the mask talking. Howard said his parents make him wear that so he's not recognized. Howard said he has to play one other guy before getting to Pitbull. Howard said this guy is dressed as the Joker. Howard played a clip of the guy laughing like the Joker. Howard asked if he was in full make up. Wolfie said he was. Howard goofed on that guy and played some of his laughs. Howard asked if he was a douche. Wolfie said he was good guy. He said he was just full into that character.
Wolfie asked if he has friends that Beth isn't happy with. Howard said he thinks that there are a couple. He said that he respects her opinion on that kind of thing. He said he can't say who they are. Howard said Beth went out to see Whitney Cummings last night. Howard said they have a nice friendship. Howard said she went to see her at a comedy club but he didn't go. Howard said he wasn't allowed to watch The Bachelorette without her. Howard said that's what they do together as a couple. Howard said he has to get to Pitbull after a break. Howard said he watched him on the Billboard Awards. Howard said he was the only guy he watched all the way through. Robin said she watched Hozier. Howard said he watched him too. Howard and Robin talked about Britney Spears and Iggy Azalea on the Billboard awards too. Howard said Britney looks hot again but he's not turned on by her anymore. Robin said Nicki Minaj was on there too and she has no song. Howard said she raps for a few seconds and stops. Howard said Pitbull is a great entertainer. Howard said they'll talk to him shortly.
Howard came back and said that Pitbull is there. He said he's excited to see him. He said he's kicking off his channel there at SiriusXM. Howard said he's also known as Mr. Worldwide, Mr. 305 and what else. Pitbull said that he's having a good hair day today. Howard said he has his own hair but he shaves his head. Pitbull said he has hair but it's easier to shave. Howard said most guys would die to have hair but he's not bald. Pitbull said he does it to stay clean and sharp. He said he doesn't have to count on anyone to cut his hair. Howard asked what kind of hair he has if he does grow it out. Pitbull said he's not sure. He said he'd let it grow out like his father had.
Howard asked when he started shaving his head. Pitbull said maybe in 2006 or 2007. Howard asked if it had an impact on his career. Pitbull said that they ask if he's really Pitbull and he says that he's Michael Jordan. Howard said it's amazing that he's been able to keep the hits coming. Pitbull said that if you're enjoying yourself people can relate to it and enjoy it too. Howard said that he is a great entertainer. Howard said he is infectious. Howard said he gets people going. Pitbull said that's his trophy. He said he gets to do it with beautiful women too. He said that he was up there with the ''Rocketeers''. Howard corrected him saying it's the Rockettes.
Howard said he wonders how he keeps his sex life on the down low. Pitbull said he never does the red carpet or anything like that. He said that it's best to avoid that. He said he might just say ''What's up fucker'' to a friend and they'll pick up on that and put it in a story. Howard asked if the Paparazzi yells at him when he goes to an event. Pitbull said they don't. He said he sneaks in the back door.
Howard said Pitbull has six kids with a couple of different women. Pitbull said he does. Howard said he's proud of him for keeping that under control since the last time he saw him. Howard said Robin would take one of those kids from him. Howard said his image is so good that politicians want him. Howard said he's a Cuban American and his mom and dad came from Cuba. Howard said they met in this country but they came from Cuba.
Pitbull said his mom came over in a mission called Peter Pan. He said his father came in what's basically a lottery. He said his mom gave him all of the survival skills he needed in life. He said she dealt with his father and what was going on in Miami in the 1980s.
Howard asked if he would go to Cuba to perform. Pitbull said he would love to do that. He said he's going to let things settle down first. He said he would rather do something real special for them. Howard asked what he means when he says people are milking it right now. Pitbull said that they have a great history down there. He said that the Castros are interesting. He said that Raul is more on the business side of things. Howard said they have avoided opening up channels with the U.S.
Howard asked if his parents were against Castro. Pitbull said his aunt was a political prisoner. He said that his grandmother was pro Castro but she became anti-Castro. Howard said he has a cousin who is Cuban and he's against the Castros. Howard said it's a touchy situation for Cubans. Pitbull said it really is. He said that with the kids he tries to tell them their roots. He said that he wants them to understand their history. He said that he thinks that the next generation will just ask who Castro is and that will open up a dialog.
Pitbull said that Cuba is well kept together other than the buildings. He said that people will enjoy it. Howard asked if he has been there before. Pitbull said he was there in 2001. He said he wanted to see where he was from and why they're so passionate about their culture.
Howard said that Pitbull is very popular with the world and the entire community. Howard said these politicians see him as being very good for their elections. Pitbull performed for the President. He said he loves the freedom of the United States and he got to perform in the back yard of the White House. He said that's priceless. Howard said the last time he was on they talked about his upbringing and how tough that was. Howard said that he went back and forth between his mother and grandmother and later on he made up with his father.
Pitbull said his grandmother raised him not to victimize himself. Howard said that he was being raised by a foster family in Georgia and that has to look pretty bleak. Pitbull said the lines between him and his mother were very direct. He said that she told him she'd rather have him somewhere that she felt he was safe. He said the family was very nice to him there. He said he was in second grade in Roswell, Georgia and they were thinking about adopting him. He said he told his mom about that and his mom came and got him. He said he never saw that family again. Pitbull said that he wants to thank that family so much. He said he was with them about 6 months. He said he's not sure if they've ever tried to get in touch with him since then. He said he's sure he'll run into someone from the family eventually.
Howard said because of his fame and upbringing people like Jeb Bush have said they like him. Pitbull said he has a story about Jeb Bush. He said that Jeb asked how he got the Pitbull name. He said he was on his way to a Pitbull fight and his friends said that was a good name. He said Jeb told him that it's a good thing he wasn't on his way to a cock fight.
Howard said that people like Marco Rubio are looking for him to endorse them. Pitbull said that he won't do that. He said he will help people out without getting into the politics though. He said that no one has come out asking him to be part of their campaign.
Howard said he had a solid performance on the Billboard awards. Howard said that Britney Spears looked great but the lip syncing is so out of control that it doesn't look like a performance. Pitbull said it's tough to dance and move and sing. He said he can understand that. Howard said it comes off poorly though. Howard said he watched his performance all the way through and Hozier too. Howard said they did that live. He said he appreciates that. Howard asked about Chris Brown and what he thinks about all of that. Pitbull said that guy is very talented. He said that he has given him advice on putting that energy into his career. Howard said he knows they're friends. Howard asked if he sat him down and had that conversation. Pitbull said that it was just a quick piece of advice he gave him. He said that Chris thanked him for that. He said he's got a good heart. Howard said it must be risky to record with him. Pitbull said no one advises him on that stuff. He said Chris is an amazing talent and he'd work with him over and over and over. He said he's got a good heart and he's a good kid. He said he's been around trouble. Howard said he did hit a woman. Pitbull said that there are two sides to the story too. He said they don't know exactly what happened. He said he's looking forward to making more records with him.
Howard said Pitbull has his own channel there at Sirius and it's going to be a permanent channel. Howard said he grabbed channel 4 there. Pitbull said he never thought he'd have his own radio station. Howard said the channel is called ''Globalization'' and not Pitbull. Pitbull said he had an album called ''Globalization''. He said that in his song ''Fun'' he sings about the things that are going on in his life. He's still flying around in a G4. He said that he's not buying that plane though. He said he has to go on vacation with him. Howard said he'd end up divorced if he did that. Pitbull said anything that happens in Miami never happened. He said that they don't let anyone take pictures with a cell phone. Howard said that's what he'd be worried about. Pitbull said that phones are the new dope. He said everyone has this addiction and it's kids to adults. Howard said it is like an umbilical cord. Howard said that they have to be connected to someone else. Howard said they're glued to the phone.
Pitbull said that he has talked to people about the negativity they carry around on those phones. He said he doesn't give a fuck about the stuff people post. He still uses a Blackberry. He said that his shit is encrypted too so no one knows his business.
Howard said Pitbull is opening his new channel with a performance at The Apollo. Pitbull said that this is history. Howard said the live show is tonight and that will be on channel 4 on SiriusXM. Howard asked how many shows he does in a year. Pitbull said last year he took about 6 months off. He said he had a deal with FIFA so he was able to take those months off.
Howard asked if he's into Jennifer Lopez. Pitbull said that she's like a big sister to him. He said that she is diligent and militant. He said she's never been late to a show. Howard said he doesn't get why nothing sexual happens there. Pitbull said that he'd tell him if there was. Howard asked if he really would. Pitbull said of course not. Howard asked about flying around on the G4 and what would happen with that. Pitbull said he'd get him all fucked up. He said they could have a great conversation on the plane too. He said it would be like it is right now.
Howard asked Pitbull how he stays in touch with music today when he's so famous. Pitbull said that you empower people around you and you teach people around you what you learned. He said they have their ears to he ground and they help. He said you never look for a hit either. He said you just make the music. Howard said that you have to go with what you feel. Pitbull said that they have an amazing relationship with RCA. He said they have their own infrastructure too. He said they're able to make their own decisions.
Howard said Pitbull recently asked Blake Shelton to record a duet with him. Howard said Blake turned him down. Pitbull said he has no idea what story he's even talking about. Howard told him to make one up. Pitbull said he wanted to make an album with someone like Tim McGraw. He said he wants to break down borders. He said that he performed in Israel and when you see the power behind that then it's endless seeing who you can perform with. He said you forget about all of that stuff out there when you can do that.
Howard asked who the most famous person on his phone is right now. Pitbull said he stays in touch with a lot of them. He said he's always in touch with Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. He said Mark and Jennifer are very close still.
Howard gave Pitbull another plug for his new channel there. Howard said that's a big deal. Howard asked what he's going to do with this channel. Pitbull said that this is all about putting world music on one channel. He said that if he finds something in China or Japan then he'll bring it there. He said he wants to give other people opportunities. He said that he's going to show how he listened to music growing up. He said they take big risks on music down there.
Howard asked if he's recording in the studio now at all. Pitbull said he doesn't need a studio. He said he can make a song in a hotel room now. He doesn't need the studio. He said he has the beats done ahead of time and then he sings into a microphone in a hotel room. Pitbull said that he know where to go where there is no technology when he needs to escape all of that.
Howard said Pitbull is a good dancer. Howard said a lot of these guys dance on stage but some guys just stand there. Pitbull said it's like the music is just talking to you. Howard asked if there's any choreography at all. Pitbull said not at all. He said he just goes with how he's feeling.
Howard said that he is Mr. Worldwide. Pitbull said if you lead by example then you put together a good team that will do a good job fro you. He said if you treat them right then you don't worry. He said if you treat them like shit they'll see how they can make you sound like shit. He said he sees how people are treating their people and it's awful.
Howard asked if he was a guest judge on Dancing with the Stars. Pitbull said he was. He said it was fun. He said one couple went up and he didn't feel the passion there. He said he didn't know he wasn't supposed to say that. He said one of the producers said to him that he really told the truth up there and he wondered what he was supposed to do.
Howard wrapped up with Pitbull and gave him some more plugs. He said that his new channel should be great. Howard said that starts off tonight on channel 4. Pitbull said he loves being there and thanked Howard. He said something in Spanish and Howard said ''How dare you'' not knowing what he said. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Roger Daltrey is there. Howard said he looks good. Roger said he's still standing. Howard asked how he's doing. Roger said he's been 6 weeks on the road and he's still alive. Howard asked if he works out. Roger said he's in The Who so that keeps him on his toes. Howard said he looks good. Robin said he's limber. Robin said a lot of people stiffen up at a certain age. Roger said he found a guy who is a bone mason and he helps him out.
Howard said that he thinks about The Who and how they have never had a number 1 hit song. Howard said that it wasn't about number one back in the day. It was about hit albums. Roger said that's what he dislikes about the digital thing. He said that it's not about the album now. He said people pick a few songs and they listen to just 3 out of 12. He said it's kind of weird.
Howard said when Tommy came out it was the first time they ever did a rock opera. Howard asked Roger if he thought ''what the fuck'' when Pete brought that to him. Roger said that it wasn't like that at all. He said that they had a guy named Kit who was very grounded and he was always frustrated with the pop singles. He said it was his idea to broaden out and do that. Howard said it's a brilliant idea. Roger said they did a mini opera on one of the albums. He said he can't remember which album it was. He said that they had space to fill on the album.
Howard said having a theme was such a great idea. Roger said it's even more important now than it was back then. He said people are being fed this stuff constantly. He said people are looking down at their phones and life is supposed to be about looking up. Howard said Pitbull was talking about how he doesn't let his guys have their phones around him at times. Roger said it's strange. He said that in the opera thing you listen from A to B and it's a journey. He said that you never get it when you're fed stuff all the time.
Howard said he loves Quadrophenia. Roger said that's a good one. Howard asked if that's not his favorite. Roger said there are so many and those things can bring you back to a time when you were doing things. He said there is one song on the Who Are You album called ''The Music Much Change'' and he will never play that again. He said that Keith wasn't able to play that song. He said he could only play drums his way. He said that Keith is not on that recording on that record. He said straight after that record he died. Howard said the memory is that he had a bad experience with that and then he died. Howard said maybe his confidence was shaken. Roger said that they played the song when they got back together. He said then they dropped it for a long time. Then they brought it back in 2002 with John Entwhistle. He said then John died. He said he got a kind of weird feeling about that song after that.
Howard said he wanted to talk about Keith Moon. Howard said he was kind of the heart and soul of The Who. Howard said he put explosives in his drums and they did a show and he blew them up. Howard said Pete says that he might be hard of hearing because of that. Howard asked where he had the explosives. Roger said they did rehearsal and they just got a puff of smoke out of the thing. He said that Keith went out and got some drinks and then they didn't know what they were putting in there. He said by then it was like a bomb going off. He said that the drum kit blew apart. He said Keith had shrapnel in his arm. He said if you can slow it down Pete's hair goes straight up and catches fire. He said it blew him over. Howard asked if he went to Keith asking him what the fuck he was doing. Roger said no because they thought it was wonderful. He said they had Bette Davis on the same show that night and she came out dressed like a Monarch. He said that she passed out and Mickey Rooney was on too and he was asking for more. He said you couldn't make this thing up.
Howard asked what happened after that. Roger said that they were in trouble with the fire marshals. He said that was the down side. He said they did think it was great though.
Howard said he found this thing about what they were paid at Woodstock. Roger said that they were paid $12,000. Howard said he read it was $6,500. Roger said he thought it was 12. He said that maybe they worked for the promoters before and it was 12. Howard said he was talking to David Crosby about it and how smart it was to get themselves in the Woodstock movie. Howard said Leslie West and Mountain weren't in it and that was a big mistake.
Howard said Abby Hoffman makes an announcement in the middle of their set. Roger said that was a bad move. Howard said Pete said he was going to beat the shit out of him. Roger said Pete whacked him with a guitar. Howard played the clip and Abby gets up and says something and Pete yells at him to get the fuck off his stage. Roger said that was so great because Abby ran off stage while Pete chased him with a guitar.
Howard asked Roger about the Monterey Pop show. Roger said Jimi Hendrix got all of the guitar smashing from Pete. Howard said Jimi got known for that. He said that must have irritated them. Roger said that by the time Jimi got on the microphone was broken. He said it was all borrowed equipment.
Howard said he was wondering what Jimi would be doing now if he lived. Roger said he thinks he'd be doing jazz. He said he was on his way to doing that already. He said maybe he would have been a Jazz poet.
Howard said Roger was thrown out of The Who once. Howard said he saw how bad a shape Keith Moon was in and he saw him puke before every gig. He flushed his drugs down his toilet. Howard said he should have been the hero but he got thrown out of the band. Roger said it was the band's drugs, not just Keith's. He said the band were playing so bad and they had really gone down the toilet. He figured that the drugs were going to kill them. Roger said Keith attacked him with a tambourine because of it. Howard said then he had to apologize to them. Roger said he apologized for being violent. He said Keith attacked him but then he attacked back. He said that it got nasty and he promised to be good after that.
Howard asked about Keith not being able to function and Pete goes up on stage and asks if anyone out in the crowed could play. Roger said that he had taken some kind of elephant tranquilizer and he just plopped off the stool. Howard had a clip of Pete asking for a drummer at that show. Roger said they had a guy come up and he wasn't very good. He said that he had balls thoguh so who cares. Howard said they finished the concert with that guy. Roger said that today everyone would panic.
Howard said they were the original punk rockers. He said that they just played with some guy from the audience.
Howard said that they had a fire break out next to the Fillmore east and they were trying to warn the crowd and the band beat the shit out of the guy. Roger said that the guy claimed he showed them his badge but he didn't. He said that he smashed the guy and Pete went over and kicked the guy in the nuts. He said both of them went to jail. He said that Pete was more serious since he kicked him in the nuts. He said that the building next door was seriously alight. He said it's good they were on stage or they would have been blamed for the fire.
Howard asked if Keith drove two cars into his pool. Roger said that he drove one car into a lake. Howard said he was pissed because the band didn't buy him a car. Howard said the whole story doesn't make sense. Roger said not much about Keith made sense. He said he was so funny though. He said he was very artistic but he was only able to do it when he wasn't sober. Howard asked if he ever tried to get off booze. Roger said that he did and that's what killed him. He said he did not like himself sober. He was anything but boring but the guy didn't like himself sober.
Howard asked how he and Pete are getting along. Roger said things are really good. He said they're having a good time. He said the last 2 tours have been better playing than they've ever had. He said that when Pete catches fire you see what it was all about.
Howard asked if the other bands like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones putting out such great albums inspired them to try to out do the others. Roger said that helped. He said that you can't out Beatles the Beatles or out stone the Stones. He said it's different paths that come out. Howard said it's great to find your way and last like they have.
Howard said just imagine that he hadn't hooked up with Pete and he was in another band. Howard said it's good to know that Pete knew that he couldn't sing. Howard said he's heard the demo tapes that Pete did and he wonders if that upsets him. Roger said that it can at times. He said he has helped with songs and he feels he helped with the writing. He said what pisses him off is when someone covers the song and does what he did in the song. He said that there is a grey area there with the publishing. He said that he can't go to Pete and bring that stuff up.
Howard said that Roger makes his money from touring. Roger said that's the only way a lot of bands make money now. He said that he did some acting and worked a lot. He's made a lot of money with the band too. Robin asked if they have to worry about him. Roger said not at all.
Howard said he's promoting ''The Who Hits 50.'' Howard said they've been together for more than 50 years. Roger said that their first hit was 50 years ago.
Howard asked what it would be like starting out today. Roger said the record companies have no idea what to do. He said they just expect it all to land in their lap.
Howard asked Roger about Jimmy Page and Robert Plant and what he thinks about them not touring together. Roger said Plant doesn't want to do it. Howard asked why. Roger said it's difficult for Robert because he doesn't think he can deliver every night. Howard asked if that's about pride. Roger said you don't want to go out and be mediocre. He said they're not the generation that cheats. He said he respects Robert's decision. He said that he thinks there is a lot of bad karma for Robert with the death of Bonzo. He said it's painful for Robert.
Howard said Roger works at staying top notch. Roger said the singers are the instrument. He said they can't have their vocal chords changed every night. He said that they are out there every night naked. He said that the part of the throat that is responsible for all of that noises is so small. He said that it's one small part that makes all of that noise. Roger said if you respect the audience, which he does, he never wants to let anyone down.
Howard said that Roger had a problem with is throat. Roger said he did. He said that he wasn't worried too much about it. Howard said that he sings every day hoping that he will keep his voice. Roger said you can't sit down and stop doing what he's doing more than 3 months. He said that you have to be so fit to do shows. He said that Eddie Vedder was doing a show but he can't do more than one show at a time. He said that his doctor says he has to take a day off after one show. He said insurance won't cover him if he does more than one show. He said that it costs so much to do shows and you can't jeopardize them. He said that Eddie Vedder asked him how he does this every other night. He said he's a young man and a fabulous singer. He said that the songs are the hardest songs to sing. He said Eddie was covering their songs and he wondered how he does it as often as he does. Roger said there are other people who have wondered the same thing.
Howard said that Roger has a new single out as well as the ''The Who Hits 50'' album. Roger said it's a good song. Howard had some of that song ''Be Lucky'' and the proceeds for that song are going to a cancer charity. Roger told Howard about the teen cancer thing and Robin said that it needs it's own category. Roger said that they discovered in Britain that if you have cancer as a teen you will go to a children's hospital and it's bozo the clown and kids stuff. Then if you're an adult you go into the hospital with people like him and Howard. He said now they have it for teens. He said the age group is when the body is changing so fast. He said that's between 13-18 to maybe 25. He said that they had a 16 year old boy who relapsed at 19. He said that a 19 year old can be in that group. He saw a pediatric hematologist and they were able to improve the survival rate by 35 percent. He said now they have to do it that way over in Britain.
Howard said he mentioned Joey Walsh. Howard said that guy is phenomenal. Roger said they have known him since 1971. He said that the James Gang supported them in their tour back then. He said that they took them on tour of America and then over the Europe. He said he's been friends all that time.
Howard gave Roger some plugs and mentioned that you can find out more about the tour and all of that at TheWho.com. Roger said they're not performing this new song yet because people don't know it. Howard played some of ''Be Lucky'' as they were talking about it. Howard asked if the recording process is the same as it used to be. Roger said it's much quicker now.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Roger thinks there will be a new wave of rock and roll. Howard said rock is dead. Roger disagreed. Roger said the music is out there and it's in the bars and car parks out there. He said that there will be something new that will arise. He said what needs to be dead is their generation. He said they have been living too much. Howard asked if he thinks about death. Roger said no. He said you're never free of this universe. He said you'll be a piece of dust floating around somewhere.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that one of the most famous pieces of music is the scream in Baba O'Reilly. Roger said that it was in Won't Get Fooled Again. Howard asked if he was sorry he put that in there because that can blow out his voice. Roger said he's starting to regret it now.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what Roger's greatest accomplishment is in his career. Howard asked if there is one moment. Roger said that he has to say there are two. He said keeping The Who together and getting the teen cancer thing going. Howard said you can find out more about that at TeenCancerAmerica.org
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the various drummers The Who has had over the years. Roger said that he thinks they found the right guy with Zack Starkey.
Howard said Roger is an amazing man. Howard said he has so much to say. Howard gave him some more plugs and asked if this is the last tour. Roger said it might be the last of this kind. He said they might do an acoustic kind of show. Howard said he'd love for them to do a set acoustically. He said he'd love to have Pete in there. He told Roger to tell him he's not so terrible. Roger said he has. Howard said he will kiss his feet. Howard said he'll even suck his dick but just the tip. Howard wrapped up with Roger and said he really does want Pete to come in. Howard said it would be heaven. Howard said he'll call him off the air. Roger said he's saying nothing. He said he's too old to start another war. Robin said they should send him a copy of the Billy Joel show and that kind of thing. Roger said he's all for not holding grudges himself.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves The Who and Roger's voice still sounds fantastic. Howard thanked him for that and wrapped up with Roger. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and did another live commercial read and then said he really needs to take a drink of water. Robin said she thinks that he has time to do that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he plans on staying with Sirius or not. Howard said he has no fucking clue. Howard said he'd like to stay if they can work out a deal. Howard said he likes the set up and the company there. He said he has certain goals he'd like to achieve. He said they'll figure it all out and see what happens. The caller said it's a defining thing for him to stay or not. He said he has been there since the start with Howard. H said it's been a lot of fun. Howard said it's always fun when Fred is there. The caller said he's amazing with the sound effects. He said he's ready at any time. Howard said they call him Ready Freddy.
Howard thanked the caller for the call. The caller asked if there is anything in the future for Howard TV. Howard said there are a lot of interesting things in the future.
Howard said Robin showed him that she put on two different shoes today. Howard said he loves her for that. Howard said with Robin no one is looking at her shoes. He said he has some assets that people are looking at and they're not her shoes. Howard said when he wears two different shoes then people look at him funny.
Howard said he has to thank Roger Daltrey for coming in. Howard said it's always fun to have him in there. Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't there so he gave up.
Howard said he talked about Big Foot. He said this is kind of fun. Robin said they were going through Wolfie's stuff. Howard said he had to cut that off. Howard said they found this guy Mick the Nerd who was named by Wolfie. Howard said he likes Mick the Dweeb or something instead of that. Howard said this guy was at Wizard-Con and he took Mick with him. He said Mick did some of the interviews and he was very good. Howard said he was intrigued by the guy. Howard played a clip of Mick talking to Wolfie at a convention. Howard said eventually Mick takes over the microphone. Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to a guy and then Mick takes over and talks to the guy about the topic since he knew about it. Howard said this guy Mick is great.
Howard took a call from fake Charlie Sheen who was just rambling about something not knowing he was on the air. Howard said he loved hearing him talking to Elephant Boy earlier. Howard had JD put that up so he could play it again.
Howard said this guy Mick might be Wack Pack material. Howard played another clip of Mick talking about super hero names. Howard said he's pretty fucking awesome.
Howard played the Charlie Sheen and Elephant Boy thing. Howard played more of Mick the Nerd and Wolfie talking. Mick was playing Donkey Kong and talking about he game with Wolfie.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie and Mick talking to a woman at the Wizard-Con. Mick was talking to the women about Cat Woman and the history of her costume. Mick was talking to her and kind of lecturing her. Howard said he had her interest but then he went way too far. Howard said then she realized that this is a nightmare.
Howard said that he has confirmation that Mick is a virgin. Howard said they're going to get him down there with Wolfie. Howard said Mick met another girl and he just doesn't get it. Howard played that clip and Mick was talking to the girl and said he ranges from good to horrible with allergies. He said this is not the best time for him.
Jon Leiberman came in and said he spoke to Mick for about 40 minutes. He said he learned a lot about him. He said he claims to be straight even though he kissed a boy when he was 8 years old. He said he likes African American women. He has autism and he twitches. He said he's not on any medication. He has no job. Howard said he thinks he has 5 qualifications for being in the Wack Pack. Jon went through more of the stuff that he learned and Howard was up to 10 qualifications. Jon said he thinks he graduated from high school but didn't go beyond that.
Howard played another clip of Mick talking to a girl at the convention and lecturing her about Thor. Howard said he always goes too far and ruins it. Howard played another clip of Mick talking to a vendor and he was asking her questions and told her she had very good eyebrows. Howard said he has the microphone and he has it all going on but then he fucks it all up.
Jon said he told him that he has very few friends. He said that he actually has zero friends and he loves being home in the basement of his parent's house. Howard said that they could help him with the friend thing. They did that with Medicated Pete.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to Mick about being single and not having a car. Robin said he doesn't have a car and he's working on his comic. Howard said they have to do a show where they search basements for the greatest Wack Packers of all time.
Howard replayed a clip of Mick talking about the vendor girl and how he'd like to hold her like Thor's hammer Mjolnir. Howard did his impression of Mick for a minute and then went to news.
Howard took a call from a guy who was talking to someone else making change for something. Howard kept yelling for him but he wasn't responding. Howard said he's going to wait for him. He said it must be important. The caller was talking about paying off something so Howard just stuck with him. Howard said he must be at work. The guy kept talking to someone else there at work. Howard said he must be in collections. Howard said he has no head for numbers. Howard and Robin were pretending to talk to him as he was giving the numbers. Howard said he's learning so much. He said he's in math class and he's flunking. Howard said he may have to bail on this guy. He said it's getting boring. Howard said this is the most boring job ever. Howard said this is Jimmy from Long Island.
Howard tried to get Jimmy on the line again. He was finally off the phone with that person. Howard said he must have the most boring job. Jimmy said he is in collections for the government. Howard said that was the most confusing phone call and he still has no idea what the person owes. Jimmy asked if he's going to be at America's Got Talent this weekend. Howard said ''Oh yeah...'' He said that he realized he has to go work at America's Got Talent this weekend out in Bethpage or somewhere like that. Gary said they're doing it at the same place they did the live Peter Pan show on NBC. Howard said he hasn't had a vacation yet this year. He said he has to work through vacation next week. He said he didn't get a vacation in February and now he has to work this coming week.
Howard said he likes doing it once he's there. He said it's cool. He said there is an audience out there so come out and see it. Jimmy said he'll be there. Howard said he sometimes talks to the audience. Howard said sometimes not. Howard said when here is a long down time he will turn around and talk. Then he'll see High Pitch out there and he'll turn back around.
Howard said that Wolfie has to bring that Mick guy to the show. He doesn't like the name Mick the Nerd though. He said maybe Mr. Peabody. Wolfie said he has a lot of back story so he may have to talk to him first. Howard asked if he looks weird. Wolfie said he has a big beard and thick glasses. Howard said he didn't imagine the beard. Howard said maybe they can call him Mick the Stud. Howard said he may be new Wack Pack. Wolfie said he is so strange. He said he has some social disorders. Howard said those are rewarded there... big time.
Robin finally started her news and read a story about Warren Sapp and his trouble with the law. Robin said he has to complete a couple of courses for his deal.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she loves Howard. She said that Howard is going to be at America's Got Talent and they will have guest judges like Kelly Ripa and Neil Patrick Harris. Howard said that he likes both of them but he thinks it's a stupid fucking idea. Howard said they have too many judges as it is. Howard said they have 4 already. Howard said he runs out of time already. He said this isn't his show and they want to do something special for the 10th anniversary. Howard said they want to get the new judges to advise the other judges. Howard said he doesn't need advising. Howard said he'll go with the flow this time. Mariann said he can do it this time but that's it. Mariann said they tried doing that audience thing last year and it didn't work out. Howard said that's right and he told them it wouldn't work.
Howard played a clip of the guys taking clips of Mariann from Brooklyn screaming and took them to the Museum of Modern Art asking people what they think of this new song like Yoko Ono's. They got some responses from people and they were liking what they heard. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Apple Watch getting some significant updates. Robin said there is word that they have improvements coming soon. Robin said that they have Find My Watch and some other things that will be updated. Howard said he got a new Macbook Air but he's pissed because they changed the plug again so he had to go out and buy new plugs.
Robin read a story about how they didn't know that Kanye West was going to do the version of his song that he did at the Billboard Awards. Howard said no one can hear it so he's not sure why he would do that. Robin said TMZ has video of Jennifer Lopez watching video and surfing the internet on her phone during Mariah Carey's performance at the awards show. Howard said she did what she usually dos. Howard said she didn't disappoint him. He said she's exactly what he thinks she is. Howard said that he's seen people doing that and they end up watching themselves. Howard said they make it all about themselves. Howard said he has seen it a million times. Robin said that Mariah was on Jimmy Kimmel too and she performed on his show. Howard played some audio of her singing. Howard asked if Jimmy was watching her or playing on his phone. He said that's really rude to do that. Robin had some of the original song that Mariah performed. Robin said she's singing it in a lower register. Howard said a lot of artists do that. Howard said it's still not cool to be on the phone during a performance. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the second part of the Bruce Jenner ''Keeping up with the Kardashians'' aired last night. Robin said she's dying to see Bruce sitting down to talk to Kris Jenner. Robin said she didn't get to watch the whole thing. Howard said it would be great if all of the Kardashian girls became men now. Howard had Bruce talking about his cock being gone with clips of Sal yelling about his cock being gone. He replayed the bit they played earlier about that too. Howard was wondering when Bruce was going to get his operation to make him into a woman. Howard said they've been waiting a year for that. Robin said she thinks they have to live a certain time as a woman before they get the operation. Robin had some audio from the Kardashian's special. Howard said he doesn't get how that show is still on. He said they sound so fake.
Robin read a story about Evander Holyfield and Mitt Romney's boxing match. She had some details about what Evander said about the boxing match.
Robin had some audio of Tim Cook from Apple talking about a few different things at a commencement ceremony. Howard said that's some great speaker. He made a snoring sound. Howard said he had Julia Child at his. He did an impression of what that sounded like. Howard played more of Tim Cook's speech and Fred played more snoring sounds. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about David Letterman being down to the final 2 shows. Robin said it's a real countdown. Robin said that Tom Hanks has said he's making some changes in his life after Dave retires. Robin had some audio of Tom talking about how he can get it all on YouTube or on his phone so he's cutting the cord. Robin said Eddie Vedder was on last night too. Robin had a clip of Eddie singing ''Better Man'' last night. Howard asked if Eddie sat down to talk because he can barely articulate anything. Robin said she's not sure if he did. Robin said Dave did thank him for the performance.
Robin said that Dave has addressed some difficult subjects over the years. Robin had a clip of Dave talking about 9/11 on his first day back after that. Robin said he also addressed his problems with female staffers there. That led to Howard talking about how Evil Dave was trying to do an Arsenio Hall impression. He played a clip of him doing that. He said he also did an Ellen Degeneres impression. He did a James Corden impression too. All of them sound exactly like David Letterman. He did a Jay Leno impression and that sounded like Dave too. He did a Herman Munster that almost didn't sound like Dave. Dave was saying that he has to do something when Letterman goes.
Robin read a story about Chris Christie and how he's talking about how he hasn't missed the window for running for President. Robin had a clip of him talking about how he wasn't ready in 2011. He said he didn't feel he was ready back then.
Robin read about the Bill O'Reilly story that's in the news. Robin said he's been accused of dragging his wife by the neck down the stairs. Robin said the wife got sole custody of their child. Robin said that must mean something. Robin said that the judge determined something there. Howard said that's pretty fucking bad then. Howard said he did a whole lecture on that earlier.
Howard mentioned that someone looks good for 71. That led to him talking about how good Benjy is looking after losing a bunch of weight. Howard said he still looks fat though. Fred said he still has a ways to go. Howard said he's still moping around though. He said they get that he's sad. Howard said he's at the stage of not saying hi to people. Benjy said he'll go around and do it then.
Robin read about Bristol Palin's wedding being called off for this weekend. Robin said they will have the party anyway. Robin said that it's going to be a party of all things and life in general.
Robin read about the Philadelphia train derailment and how that line is back up and running. That led to them talking about the crash and the debate over using seat belts on trains.
Robin read a story about the suicide rates in the black community going up. Robin read about what the researchers have been finding.
Robin read a story about Taye Diggs going back to Broadway this summer. Howard said that's fabulous and wonderful. Robin said he's set to star in Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Howard asked why she waited all morning to tell him that. He said it's the greatest black news of the day. Robin said he's set to do that for 12 weeks. Howard said he was handed a note saying that George Takei is doing cartwheels over that news. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Matthew said maybe Mick the Virgin would work. Jon said they have Pete the Asian virgin too. Matthew said he's with Howard on the Mick the Nerd not working.
Jon asked Michael how important a nickname is. Michael said if you're a Wack Packer you need a good name. He said that he's not sure about the names. He said if you're a good wack packer you don't that. Matthew said that you can't rush into this either. He said he feels that they can't switch up mid stream so they have to settle from the get go. Michael said that Eric the Actor evolved so he thinks that it can evolve like that. He said the name will just sort of appear and stick. He said that the Dweeb and Nerd is kind of basic. He said it's very 1989. Jon said that with Hank it was Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf. Jon said he hopes they can come up with something. Michael said they have some good minds out there and he's sure the audience will come up with something. Jon said he loves his confidence. They went to break after that.
Jon said that Roger Daltrey and Pitbull both talked about how people are talking on their phones all the time and not watching what's in front of them. Jon said that has to be frustrating. Michael said he finds himself at Knicks games being on the phone. He said he's tweeting right now. He said it's really bad. He said his brain is cooked from the phone. Matthew said that everything for him is to an extreme. He said he enjoys seeing pictures on Snapchat or on whatever. He said that if he's a fan of Michael Rapaport he'd like to experience his tweets and things like that. He said J-Lo isn't cool doing that in the front row at the awards show though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Michael Rapaport has taken 31 shots of himself at a basketball game. He said that no one wants to see that many pictures. Michael asked who he was with. He said he wasn't by himself. The caller said he was with a 6th grader. Michael said if you're with Bill Clinton he's going to post it. Michael told the caller to shut up. He said that he admitted he's cracked out on the phone.
Matt said that they should have a show for Michael on Howard 101 where he just argues with the callers. Michael said he hasn't gotten to Matt yet. He said he's going to though.
The guys were talking about how Pitbull keeps people from using phones when they're hanging out. Matthew said that the guys at the show know not to do that around Howard. Jon said it's common courtesy. He said that you have to respect people's privacy.
Jon said he thinks that Howard would do a great interview with Bruce Jenner. He said that they had Chaz Bono in a few years ago and he gave a great interview. Matthew said that Kim and Kourtney were on the show and the interview was fine. He said he thinks they left having a good experience. He said he thinks it would be good.
Jon took a call from a guy who suggested a name for Mick the Nerd. The caller said maybe something like Mick the Socially Awkward or Socially Challenge Mick. Michael said they haven't found the iconic name yet.
Jon tried another caller who said that he thinks Autistic Mick. Matthew said he's sticking with Mick the Virgin. Michael goofed on him about that.
Jon took another call from a guy who said they should keep it simple and call him Mick Peabody. Gary came in and said he's over thinking it. Michael said that he was asked to come in there and Gary isn't even there. He said Gary is in his office playing games on his phone. Gary said he's not doing that. He said he's listening to the show. Michael said they have them in a hovel there when they come in too. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Michael said the space they have is so demeaning to people. He said they have them in a jail situation back there. He said Jon is there with interns and Steve Brandano. He said it's not even as nice as the show The Office. Matthew said it does come off kind of grade school. Jon said there is no privacy. He said Pete would stand over him and hold a piece of paper twitching the whole time. He said they'd talk sports a lot though. He said he's a sweet guy too. Gary said he'd come in the office a bunch of times during the show and ask how he's doing.
Michael said he has Joey Boots and High Pitch texting him all the time. He said he'd like to go hang out with them but he's kind of nervous about that. Matt said it sounds exhausting to him.
Gary said Eric showed up to an appearance once and Eric smelled like he had sprayed his clothes with a hose and left them in a pile. He said his wife wasn't able to get the smell out of her nose.
Jon took a call from a guy who said with Howard announcing a new Wack Packer he thinks that he wouldn't do that and then retire right after that. Gary asked if he thinks Howard has to stick around and wouldn't take care of them? He said they have two new ones in play right now. It's Monotone Matt and now Mick. Matthew said they haven't really defined them yet.
Gary asked Michael if he thinks Monotone Matt is a Wack Packer. Michel said he's not sold yet. Gary asked about Mick. Michael said he's getting there but the bar is high. He said the true Wack Packers are bananas. Matthew asked if he heard the Monotone Matt story about the dog. He said he thinks he's in. Michael said he can't argue with that. He said he digs his name but he's behind with him a little bit. Jon said the voice is there with Matt. Gary said that Mick has the virgin thing and living at home in his parent's basement as part of the Wack Pack thing.
Matthew said that he thinks honesty is part of that. He said Mick has that whole thing down. He said Leiberman learned a lot about him too. He said the fact that he's open and honest is part of the Wack Pack thing.
Gary asked Jon if he would rather have Hanzi or Mick the Nerd living in his basement. Jon said they have to get to the poll first. Michael said he has a schedule and they're going to go over time. Jon said he's getting the high sign from the producer.
Jon asked Rahsaan what the results of the poll are. Rahsaan said that Mick the Unibomber had 36 percent. Mr. Peabody was second and Mick the Nerd was in third. The guys said it's not quite there yet.
Jon said that Roger Daltrey was great today. Gary said that he had some great stories today. He said that he went back and looked at the video of that explosion thing and Pete's hair really was blown to the side. Gary said he is going to go see their 4th farewell tour show this week.
Michael said he feels upset that there's this lingering thing about Howard's retirement. He said that if they do stick around they should start he show at 9am. He said that no one listens in the morning. He said they're replacing it all and they can start later. He said he doesn't get why he's still starting so early. Gary said Howard is the one who negotiates. Gary said they don't make that up. Michael said it would make things easier for himself. He asked how much money this guy needs to make anyway.
Matthew said there is no way Howard retires. He said he is on top of the world right now and he's enjoying himself. He said his career has never been hotter. He said he won't hang it up at the end of this contract. He said we will be able to listen to him somehow.
Gary said there are people who are on a set schedule who listen to the show live. Michael said fuck that. He said he doesn't get it. He said that his wife will like it better if he starts later. Jon said they are starting at 7 now so maybe that could be in play. Gary said the greatest year of his life was when their show was on from 3pm to 7pm. Michael said they should start he show at 9 like a normal person. They spent a minute on that but they had to end the show. They were done around Noon.
Howard started the show talking about the president getting a Twitter account. Howard said he was hit with a bunch of racist stuff right away. Howard said that's why you don't read the comments. Howard had some of the comments where people called him the N-word. Howard said they were also asking to see his college transcripts and things like that.
Howard said he didn't see Dancing with the Stars but he asked who won. Howard said he's sure the information is out there. Robin said she hasn't seen the results show. Howard said it's impossible to avoid learning the news. Howard said he heard that Rumer Willis won. Howard said she deserved to win. Robin said Rumer was thanking her A-list friends and Howard wasn't mentioned. She said it was the fans who commented on twitter. Robin said she mentioned people like Gwyneth Paltrow. Howard said he backed her on the air. Robin said she gave love to the people on Twitter instead of Howard. Howard said shame. He said she has some body though. He said she's working out.
Robin said the guy with one arm and one leg made her cry. Howard said he's a veteran of some war. He said he's not sure which one. Robin said she's talking about his dance and he was amazing. Howard said he is impressive. Howard said he didn't give up on himself or his body.
Howard said Dave's freaking out that Letterman is retiring. Howard said he loves coming there and that's why they asked about the other impressions. Howard played some of those. Fred said he thinks one of his impressions sounded like Adam Sandler. Howard replayed it and it did.
Howard said Dave loves snacks and chips. He also loves orange juice. Howard said he has a clip of Dave eating chips wile recording all of this stuff for them. Dave was munching away. Howard said he had like 11 orange juices during that recording session. Howard played some clips of him drinking and asking for more juice. Howard said that's like 1500 calories. Howard said he was really going at it.
Howard said they asked Dave to do a recording for an abortion clinic. He said he was able to find some positive things to say about that. Dave was talking about how they get the job done and they make sure the kid stays dead. Howard said they should form an abortion clinic named that so they have the commercial ready to go.
Howard said they gave Dave some tongue twisters too. He said he wants to play the sex game first. Howard said he has to find it first. Howard said h asked them to put it up top but they ignored him. Howard asked if Dave knows what a happy ending is. Robin said no. Dave's answer was that it's when you jerk off.
Howard said he jerked off last night. He said he went to the ''teen sex'' category. He said they're not teens. He said they're all older. He said this girl was auditioning for a rock video and the guy says to her that it has nothing to do with the rock video. He asks to have sex with her for 10 minutes for $1000. He said the girl ends up taking her clothes off and starts playing with her vagina to the camera. Howard said he's usually finished by then. He said she was unbuckling his pants and the guy had such a big penis. He said he had a black penis but he was a white guy. Robin said that's like Sal's penis. She said it's very dark. Howard said he's seen this before. Howard said he watches a lot of porn.
Howard asked if Evil Dave knows what a yeast infection is. Robin wasn't sure. Howard played a clip of Dave saying that it's when you have a lot of jizz around your bush. Robin asked if he has sex with his wife. Gary said he has kids.
Howard asked if Dave knows what a motor boat is. Robin said everyone does. Howard played Dave's answer and it was nothing about breasts.
Howard asked if he knows what a French kiss is. Robin said there's no way he doesn't know. Dave knew it was kissing with tongues.
Howard asked if Dave will know what Bare back means. Robin said no. Dave said that means getting up and riding her ''in the sterns.''
Howard asked if he knows what a golden shower is. Robin said no way. Dave's answer was that it's when you have to go really bad and you run into the bathroom and let it all out.
Howard asked if Dave will know the expression ''Pop her cherry.'' Robin said yes. Dave thought it meant screwing a girl with cherries. Howard said he's a pisser.
Howard asked if Dave will know the word ''fisting.'' Robin said no. Dave's answer was sticking it in the pussy or ass.
Howard asked if he knows Tossing the Salad. Robin said yes. Dave said it's different sexual positions. Howard asked if he will know what a sphincter. Robin said yes. Dave had no idea. He said something about an awful Eiffel.
Howard asked if Dave will know what an orgy is. Robin said yes. Dave knew. Howard asked about Camel Toe. Dave said it's a hang nail used in a sexual way. Robin laughed. Howard said they have to get Ronnie in there to educate him.
Howard asked if Dave will know what testicles are. Robin said yes. Dave's answer was about different parts of your anatomy including the penis. Howard and Fred did their Ronnie voices telling Dave what these things mean.
Howard also played a Mambo bit that they did with Ronnie. They also played a clip of a radio show where they were asking a woman if she would want to replace Robin Quivers on the Howard Stern Show. The woman was saying she didn't want to be a white man's sidekick. Howard said if he loses Robin he won't be getting that woman. He said that was Chris Wilding making that phony phone call.
Howard said they asked Dave to say ''cinnamon for synonym'' and some other tongue twisters. Howard played the audio of Dave trying to get those out. Howard said they gave him the ''Peter Piper picked...'' thing and the ''I saw Suzy sitting in a shoe shop...'' as well. After playing those they went to break.
Mitt talked about how he's been pissing blood for a week now. He said he's been getting blown by his 7 wives so it's not from the fight. Mitt was saying some odd things and making odd noises from the knocks to the head.
Howard asked if the fight was for raising money. Mitt said he's not sure. Howard asked if he tapped out of the fight. Mitt said it dawned on him that he was rich so he didn't have to do that. Mitt checked out after that. Howard said he's not sure what Mitt said there.
Howard said he was talking to Gary during the commercials and they were talking about the Knicks. Howard said they have the worst record in the league. Howard said there's some lottery that goes on and they get the second draft pick. Howard said that they didn't even get a great draft pick. He said he doesn't think there are that many guys who could change their franchise though.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who asked if he has seen the dress Rumer was wearing last night. Howard said he loves when they dress a girl almost naked on the show. He said that they showed Bruce Willis crying on the show. He said it's hard to jerk off to a girl when her dad is there crying. Mark said he thinks that there was camel toe seeping through the dress. He said that it had to be hard for her dad. Howard said it has to be tough. Mark said it would kill him as a dad. Howard said he finds her sexy. Mark said she's fantastic.
Mark asked about her tattoos though. Howard said he doesn't like them. Howard said she has a lion's head on her arm and it's too big. Howard said he meant to bring that up when she was in there. Mark said she has one on her back too. Howard said he likes that one. Howard said Robin has a nice tittie tattoo. He said you can't over do it. Howard said Beth wanted one when their dog died. Howard said he has her name on his wrist. Howard said he told Beth not to fuck with her skin at all. He said she got one and you can hardly see it. Howard said he doesn't like heavy tattoos on a girl. Mark said you want to have an intervention with some of these girls who go overboard.
Howard said he has a picture of Ronnie's bad tattoos and he shows that to people to snap them out of it. Howard said that's his scared straight program. Howard said Ronnie has the weirdest shit going on with his arms. Mark said he loved the prank call they made to a pet psychic using the clips of Gary making the monkey sounds and playing trumpet. Howard asked the guys to put that up if they had it. Howard played the prank call a short time later. Howard said Gary did a great job in that call. He said imagine singing along to someone's monkey.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw the report that George Stephanopoulos gave money to the Clintons and why that's any different than what FOX news is doing. Howard said he went over this already. He said that it's not a big deal. Howard said he donated money to Hillary Clinton too. Robin argued with Howard about it being the wrong thing to do when you work for a news network. Howard and Robin went back and forth on that for a short time. Howard said that George is in show business like they are. He said he isn't a journalist. Howard said he's on a show where they interview actresses and animals.
Howard said he has met George a bunch of times and he's very passionate about what he does. Howard said the thing is that it's public information. Howard said the guy wasn't doing anything secretive. Howard said he's not keeping it a secret. Robin said that just because it's public information doesn't mean that she knows it. Howard said she has to investigate it then.
Robin said that when ABC dos a story about Disney then they have to say they're a Disney company. Robin said that's what George should be doing. Howard said that is not necessary. Howard said no one cares. He said don't watch the guy if you don't agree.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Robin is getting really riled up. He said she has to take it easy. The caller said the painting he did for Letterman was awesome. He asked if that's his most prized painting. Howard said he did 4 for Beth of roses. He said he has done much better ones. He said he did that daffodil for Beth but then he wasn't thrilled with it. Other people were so he got attached to it. Then he decided to give it to Letterman. Howard said he was going to give Dave a new car or something but he figured Dave can afford that. He said he changed his mind about the painting and gave that to Dave and his wife. Howard said that he has a hard time parting with some of his paintings. Howard said he doesn't like to give them out. He said he doesn't think they're ready to be given out. He said his wife thought it would be nice if he did that. He said he wanted to give it to Dave's wife instead. Howard said he wrote her a note and gave her the painting.
The caller asked if Howard is back to playing guitar. Howard said he hasn't been playing at all. the caller said the James Taylor interview was great. He said he's going to go see him in June in Grand Rapids. Howard said it was great to have him in there. Howard said there is no reason for him to play guitar after watching James play. Howard said the guy is breath taking. Howard said he is at his best when he's just playing alone. Howard said he doesn't like a whole band with him.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw Bill Murray on Letterman yet. Howard said not yet. He said he saw he popped out of a cake though. The caller said he had cake all over him and he was going out and getting it all over everyone in the audience. He said he got it all over Dave too. Howard said he thinks Dave would prefer that people not do that on his show but when Bill does it you just let him do what he wants. Robin said it was kind of funny seeing them covered in cake talking to each other. The caller asked if Dave has one last show tonight. Robin said he does but they aren't sure what he's going to do. Bill Murray was his last guest but he's doing something tonight. Howard said this show ending never ends.
Robin said she was listening back to the show and she was thinking that Bruce Jenner is saying a very long goodbye to his penis. Howard said it's funny to him that they asked Bruce his girl name and he said Belinda but now he heard it's Kate. Howard said they're keeping it a big secret for some reason. Robin said maybe he's a K name because of the Kardashian girls being all K names. Howard said they have to get on with the cock cutting off.
Robin said there were some great moments on the Kardashian special about Bruce. She said that they were talking about Bruce possibly having his sex change in the spring. Howard played the ''About Bruce'' bit they did with Sal's audio clips.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked if he heard Dylan on Letterman. Howard said he didn't yet. Howard said he did hear him doing some stuff in the 90s. Howard said there was an interesting story behind the performances he did but he can't imagine what it was last night. Ralph said he didn't get it. He thought it was awful. He said he's not sure what the song was. Fred said it was a Sinatra song. Ralph said it was so bad. He said it was disappointing. Howard said he never got Dylan. Ralph said he thought he was supposed to be the greatest. Howard said the thing with him is his writing. He said he has written some great songs but you get turned on to him when someone else performs his songs. Howard said he finds his stuff monotonous and repetitive. Howard said he felt the same about Elvis. Robin said early Elvis was incredible. Howard said not for him. He said there were so many guys coming over from England and there were some great bands. Howard said Letterman introduced Dylan as the greatest song writer ever and then he did a cover song. Howard said the best thing to do is a song someone wants to hear. He said Dylan is so ornery that he can't just go on and do one of his own classic songs. Howard said Dylan knows the score. He said you have to give the fans your hits. He said that Dylan won't do that. He said it's about him and not about Letterman.
Ralph said he didn't recognize that song at all and he's a Sinatra fan. He said Dylan walks around the stage like a mental patient too. Howard played some audio of Dylan's performance on last night's show. Howard said Dave must have been like ''Oh shit'' when he heard that. Howard said he's turned into a joke.
Howard said that everyone is so afraid of losing him as a guest that they won't give him any direction. Howard said if you get Dave alone in a private moment Dave has to say ''What the fuck was that shit?'' Howard said that everyone would have loved it if he had done a classic song of his own.
Ralph said Bill Murray was great. He said he came out of a cake and hugged letterman. Howard said that he had some ideas for Letterman and he was told not to do any of the bits he had. Howard said he wanted to dress up like a woman and they told him no. He said everyone else does what they want to do. Howard said Bill Murray does his thing and Adam Sandler does his. Howard said they all say no to him. Howard said that he's just as famous and successful as most of these people. Ralph said Howard should have done what he wanted to do. Howard said he had to have it just right though.
Ralph said that George Stephanopoulos gave to the Clinton Foundation and not to the Clintons. He said they help people. Robin said there are questions about them helping people. Robin said he was doing that to curry favor. Howard said that he wasn't. Ralph told Robin to go ruin another ending for a show. Robin said she's going to tell him the ending for the Bachelorette. Ralph said he watched some of that show and it's so bad. Howard said that everything he watches is so bad but they're all at the top of the ratings. Ralph said that stuff is like a car wreck. Howard said Robin and Ralph are so smart. Robin said just because people are watching it doesn't mean it's good.
Howard said Big Foot is in a funk since the break up of his girlfriend. Robin said the reason they didn't hear from him is because he didn't have a phone. Howard said they called his neighbor who knew he was at home. Howard said he was really nervous. He said he thought they had lost him. Howard said he's too good to lose. Howard said you never take a guy like that for granted. Howard played a ''Taken 4'' movie parody with Big Foot in it. They went to break after that.
Howard said Google is freaking out because if you search the term ''nig*er House'' it brings up the white house. Howard said that one time someone wrote a letter to Robin and sent it to ''Nig*er Quivers'' and the mail man delivered it no problem. Howard said that the post office must know who they mean and they delivered it. Gary said that letter didn't even have a street on it and it still made it there.
Howard played a clip of Elephant Boy singing a Led Zeppelin song and said it was another Dylan cover.
Howard said they had a drag convention out in California so they sent a guy there to interview some people. Howard said his name is Matt. Howard played some of the interviews he did and the drag queens there were explaining what they do to hold their balls back and hide them.
Howard said if you have big balls and a dick you have to shove them into your asshole and shimmy around all day. Howard said that's a commitment. Howard said they must be wearing really tight dresses.
Howard played more interviews where the drag queens were talking about being either tops or bottoms. Howard said there's so much shit to know when you're gay. Howard said it sounds like more drag queens are tops than bottoms. Howard said he is learning but he's not sure what good it's going to do him. Howard played a clip of some of the guys speaking in their deepest voices.
Howard played a clip of some of the drag queens talking about their favorite songs. One guy said that he likes Britney Spears and sang one of her songs. Howard said that's his favorite too. It's her ''I'm a Slave for You'' song.
Howard said they took the picture of him from his book Miss America and showed it to the guys there. They asked if they would make love to him. Most of the drag queens were saying no. Howard said he didn't like the drag he was in on that cover. He said he wanted to be a pretty girl but they gave him a wig that was like Marge Simpson. Robin said they showed Howard on Letterman in a dress and he was cute. Howard said he knows he can be pretty. Howard said he can pull off the ass but he needs a nice wig. Howard said that it worked on Letterman.
Howard said no one wants to fuck him as a man or a woman so he's going to become a tree. Howard played more of the interviews with the drag queens talking about things they've done. One guy talked about shoving a Popsicle up a straight guy's ass and then he farted and claimed it wasn't him.
Howard played a clip of one guy talking about getting the sex change operation. Howard talked about how Bruce Jenner hasn't gotten that girl voice yet. He said he kept slipping out of it. Howard and Fred did their Herman Munster-like voices for that.
Memet told Howard he always dreamed of living there in the city but if you're a kid listening to him now, don't do it. He said that it's nothing like you expect. Howard said Manhattan scared the shit out of him when he was a kid. Memet said air conditioning is a luxury in the city. Howard said he doesn't know why anyone would want to live like this.
Howard asked what floor he lives on. Memet said he's on the second floor. He said he has no air conditioning. He said he has to open the windows or roast in there. Howard played a clip of some people screaming outside his window and breaking glass.
Memet said that he's stuck in a lease and he was fooled by the guy who had him sign it. He said he feels so bad but he saw some white people looking to rent out there and he lied and told them that it was great.
Howard played another clip of some people screaming outside his window. Howard asked why he didn't go out and tell them to shut up. Memet said here was one guy outside one day with ''Murderer'' written on his t-shirt. He said that's the kind of people who live in his neighborhood. Howard said he should get a shirt that says ''Victim'' on it.
Howard played more of the screaming people on the street. Memet said this goes on for like a half hour. He said these Harlem residents, not all of them but these in particular... Howard said he should stop now.
Howard played another clip of some people fighting on the street and police sirens going off. Memet said this was an old man who was yelling at some kids who were ready to fight the guy. He said the cops just drove by after shitting the siren.
Howard played another clip of some screaming out on the street. Memet said this goes on all the time. He said he hasn't had a good night's sleep in as long as he can remember.
Howard played another clip of a woman being tazed on the sidewalk by the police. Howard asked if he goes out at that time of night. Memet said he only goes out if he has to. He said he tries to get supplies and stuff before the sun goes down.
Gary said that Memet went to Africa for a year and the first night he got there he cried because he thought he'd made a big mistake. He eventually liked being there. Memet said that he was only 18 at the time.
Howard asked what he pays for rent. Memet said he pays about $900. He said he lived in North Carolina and paid less than that. Howard said maybe he can commute from there. Robin said he doesn't have to live in Manhattan.
Howard said Memet was in the military. Memet said he doesn't like to talk about it. He said he worked in an office. Robin said no Air Force is in ground troops. Memet said some of them are when they're in special forces. Robin said they're not the army or the marines. That led to Howard talking about his imaginary military service. Memet said that he was stationed in Oklahoma. Howard said a desk job is just as important when you're serving. Robin said she had a maid when she was in the service. Robin said the Air Force is okay.
Howard said he has seen action and neither Memet or Robin have. Howard said he had a pal in the air force and they were attacked. He said they fought a whole family. He said they ripped them apart with their bare hands. Howard said they had to do that because they weren't sure if they were VC or not. Memet said he was sent to Las Vegas one time. Howard said the Air Force saved his ass more than once. Memet thanked him for his service. Howard said he rarely talks about it. Howard made up some more stories about his service in Vietnam.
Howard thanked Memet for his service too. He said Memet is dopey from not sleeping. He almost tripped on his way out. Howard asked Robin if she ever saw any action. Robin said she never left the states. Howard asked about her maid. Robin said she was in training and the maid made the bed. Howard said he's surprised she didn't stay in the service. Robin said they were supposed to do training and have a camp out but they canceled it when the weather wasn't very good.
Howard said he has audio of a woman named Sandy Rios who has a radio show or something. JD said she's with the American Family Association. Howard said that's a bullshit association. Howard said this woman is saying that homosexuality may have caused the train crash in Philadelphia. Howard played the clip and the woman said that there was another situation where a man was taking hormones and took the lives of the airline he was flying with into his hands. Howard said what she's saying is that homosexuals are the ones who have problems and not heterosexuals. Howard said this is the kind of crap that's going on.
Howard said that there's a guy named Bill Koenig who is a conservative reporter and he's blaming the California drought on god being pissed off about homosexuality. Howard played a clip of this guy Bill talking about that. Howard said their imaginary guy in the sky is causing a drought. Howard said he's not sure what they're talking about. Howard said that God didn't do anything about slavery but he's doing something about homosexuality? Howard said the republicans have to stop bowing to this nonsense and get with it. Howard said somewhere after Ronald Reagan they started bowing to these nudnicks. Howard said that there are some republicans who are trying to get away from this but they don't stand a chance.
Robin said she thinks that it's the heterosexuals that are causing the problems. Howard said maybe we should get rid of all of them. Robin said there's a report of a Texas teen who says he saw Jesus when his heart stopped for 20 minutes. Howard said he's sure of that. Robin said the kid claims he saw a man with long hair and a thick beard and he realized it was Jesus. Howard said that wasn't Jesus, that was Rick Rubin. Robin said she's sure they're going to get him all over the news with that story.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw the new Mad Max. Howard said he hasn't yet. Howard said he has to see the Avengers. Robin said she liked that better than Mad Max. Howard said he heard Mad Max is great but he wasn't fan of the first one. Howard said he heard he will like this one though. Robin said there are girls who take their clothes off. Howard said he likes that. Howard said there has been so little nudity on Game of Thrones it's ridiculous.
Howard said if you haven't seen Game of thrones you should turn off your radio. Howard said there are a bunch of people who are angry about this rape scene at the end of the show. Robin said it was disgusting. Robin said she didn't think it was necessary. Howard said he doesn't get why it was gratuitous. Howard said the guy is a sadist. Robin said she's sick and tired of Sansa being a victim. Howard said it's a story. Robin said she's a perennial victim. Howard said it shows how horrible things were for women. Robin said it's just her. Robin said everyone else has it figured out.
Howard said it's ridiculous to get upset about a story being told. Howard said that it's like saying you don't like the Witch in Hansel and Gretel. Robin said she felt it was just a thrown in thing. Howard said he doesn't get that. Robin said this character is always a victim and she's always abused. Howard said that's such a ridiculous argument. Howard said that's like saying you don't like Tony Soprano in the Sopranos. Robin said nothing has gone on this season and this was a big deal. Howard said she has him all worked up.
Howard said that he has a clip of Jerry Fallwell talking about gay people. Howard said he can't find the clip now. He said they're driving him nuts out there. He said he has to fire someone and that's going to ruin his weekend if he has to do that. Howard said there's a big sign saying where the clip is and it's not there. Howard said they're fucking up his situation.
Howard asked Fred what he should do. Fred said he shouldn't fire them on the first offense. Howard said this is the 19th offense. Howard told the person to come in there and show himself. Howard said they're cowards. Howard said that he wants to know where his producer is. Will came in and said it was him. Howard said he has to fire him. Will asked him not to. He said this isn't the first time it happened but it is for him. Howard told him to get out. Will said he's sorry. He said it hurts him when he does that.
Howard asked where Baba Booey is. Howard said he can't even find him. Gary said he's right there. Howard told him to make sure it never happens again. Gary said he didn't do anything. Gary told him that their guest is there. Howard said he won't fuck him up. He said Jim is a good guy.
Howard took a call from Shandor who said he wanted to congratulate him on the Roger Daltrey interview. He asked how much he thinks he could have taken Letterman's place. Shandor asked how long he's been doing this. Howard said he has been in radio since 1975 or so. Howard said the guy who hired him said he wouldn't pay him because he was so bad. Howard said the guy was a nut. Howard said he had to lower Shandor's phone. It was making all kinds of noise. Howard asked what he has. Shandor said it's an iPhone 6. Howard said that's what he has too. He said it sounds like he has a Geiger counter on that phone.
Howard said this boss he had played a public affairs tape one morning and it had the word ''fuck'' on it. Howard was trying to tell the story but Shandor's phone was making more noise. Howard said he'll start counting his job from WRNW which was in 1977. Howard said that was on New Year's eve that he started. He said he'll do some math and figure it out. He counted up the years and figured that it was over 30 years. Robin tried to help and told him how to do the math. Robin told him to go from 1977 to 2017 and subtract 2. Howard said she doesn't know math. Howard had to do it his way. Howard said he has 30 up to 2007. Howard said then he has to add. Robin told him to do it her way. Robin said 1977 to 2017 is 40 year so subtract 2 from that and you have 38. Howard said he's been doing it for 38 years now.
Howard said 38 beautiful years. Shandor asked if he would do a late night show like Letterman. Howard said that he'll stick a broom up his ass too. Howard said he's busy with America's Got Talent and all of that. He said that starts soon but he wasn't even told about it. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that he loves this song. Howard said there's a video going around of James Hetfield performing a concert and his daughter gets up and sings. Howard said that you never think about him being a father.
Howard said Jim Breuer is doing a new stand up special on Epix on June 29th. Howard said it's called Comic Frenzy.
Howard said he can hear into the green room from his bathroom. He said he could hear Jim laughing and he has a very distinctive laugh. Jim said Will came out looking like he was involved in a prison rape. Howard said he told Gary that when he does the show he has a note up saying if you go to Gary Page 1 you'll see a clip of something. Howard said he's talking to Robin and trying to do two things at once. Howard said he loses his whole train of thought. Howard said all he's left with is ''Where the fuck is the clip?'' He said that he's killing him.
Howard said he has to get some things out of the way. Howard said he wants to say he's sorry to hear about the passing of his father who died at 91. Jim said he gave him a lot of good years. Howard said that he always took care of his dad. He said he was inspired by that. Howard said he was so good to his dad. He said he wiped his ass and there's nothing more they need to say. Howard asked how much ass he wiped. Jim said it was a lot of ass. He said that he could see the sack dripping with shit and he had to wipe it all down. He said he used a hose to get it washed off.
Howard said Jim was such a good son that he brought his dad on the road. Howard said he had to clean him on a plane. Jim said there was a lot of gagging. Howard asked if he spoke at the funeral. Jim said he did. He said it was a family thing. He said that his dad was divorced when he had him. He said he had other kids too. He said that he was in Word War II. He said that he wanted to let the other kids know that it wasn't just his dad. He said that there were 3 other kids there. He has a whole other family there. He said they didn't have it half as good as he did.
Jim said he knows that Howard has those feelings about his parents. He said he loves that he does his parent's voices. He said he cracks up every time. Jim said he was there for his father's last breath. He said they has hospice in his house. He said the hardest part is waiting. Howard said he is a good person. Jim said that his wife's grandmother did it and he watched her with her husband until the last breath. He said he wasn't sure if he could do it. Howard said most people won't take the time to do that. Howard said they want to send them off somewhere else.
Howard said he is going to dub Jim the mother Theresa of comedians. Robin called him Saint Jim. Jim said he had to carry his dad from a comedy club about 200 yards. He said he had to get a luggage cart to do it. He said there were like 3 guys trying to get him to bed.
Howard said wheat Jim is doing is more important than what some of these saints are doing. Howard said he has to offer his condolences on his older sister who passed away too. Howard said his mother has Alzheimer's too. Jim said you just have to deal with it and move along. He said it adds more entertainment. Howard asked if he talks more about it in his stand up. Jim said he does.
Jim said that when you get near the end the breathing goes bad. He said he anted to take a pillow and pop it over his head. He said that he was suffering. They told him that it was just dry and it was totally fine. He said he remembers the family telling him to go shower. He said his dad was breathing heavy and he asked him to give him 15 minutes so he could shower. Jim said he had a few last breaths that sounded like the last but it just didn't end.
Howard said that Jim tells his dad he's going to go see his brother in the sky and all of that. Jim said that he was holding his dad and he knew right away when it was done. He said he just wasn't there anymore. Jim said it was over and he wasn't hovering or anything. He said he had such a detachment to that body that was there. He said he looked at him and then put it down. He said it looked kind of grey like an alien. He said they were somber for a short time and then they started laughing. He said he was wondering about how it was going to be if he stiffened up with his arms out.
Jim said he had a great closure there. He said that it was good. Jim said he did everything he had to do and said everything he had to say. Howard said then his sister died and his mom went down hill. Jim said it's a train wreck. Jim said his mom and dad made amends at the end too. He said they weren't yelling at each other anymore.
Howard asked Jim about his friendship with Tracy Morgan and his accident. Howard said he's reached out to him and hasn't heard back. Howard asked if he has spoken to him. Jim said he hasn't. He said he remembers when it happened. He said he called right away. Jim said Tracy is a huge mentor in his life. Howard said that he was very involved in his early career. Jim said he has reached out too and hasn't heard back. He said he was afraid that he didn't like him anymore or whatever. He said that it's good to hear that Howard reached out too. Howard asked if he got paranoid that he was upset with the impression. Jim said he had heard that. Howard said his impression is so dead on. Jim said Tracy is so funny. He did some of his Tracy impression.
Howard asked if he did the impression on Saturday Night Live. Jim said he did it off stage. He said he didn't do it on the show. Howard asked what impressions he did for Lorne. Jim said he only knew Pesci. He said he's not sure if that got him the job or what. He said he did a Brad Pitt impression and just stuck his stomach out and said that was Brad Pitt in 40 years.
Howard said you have to have something special going on to get that job. Jim said that guy who calls in as Artie is amazing. He said he has to drive his wife's car to hear the show. He said he heard Artie on the show and wondered what was going on. He said then he realized it was someone doing Gary and Artie. He said he wondered who this guy is. Howard said that's Sour Shoes and he's genius.
Howard said it takes more than an impression to get that job. Jim said that they must see something. He said that on the 40th Jim Carrey auditioned for the show and he wondered how they didn't hire that guy. Howard said he had Jim on and asked about that. He said Jim isn't sure either. Howard said it was a hysterical audition. Jim said he was belly laughing at it. He said Jim got In Living Color instead. He said people forget how funny that was. Howard said that Jamie Foxx and Jim Carrey were on that. Jim said the Wayans brothers were on that too. So was Jennifer Lopez.
Howard said Rolling Stone rated the people on Saturday Night Live and Jim should have been in the top 10. He said he was ranked at 139 out of 141 people. Howard said they were disparaging toward him too. He said he was shocked by that. Jim said he heard about that and it was humbling. He said that he got invited to the 40th Anniversary show. He said that he wasn't sure if they were going to do that. He said that he doesn't put enough time into it.
Jim said he got to the show and he had two wrist bands and a ticket. He didn't know what they were. He said he did the red carpet thing but that's embarrassing to him. He said it makes him uncomfortable. Jim said he shows up and they tell him he only has one seat. He said that there is tape with people's names and he moved someone to another section and had his wife sit with him. He said that he was shocked where he was sitting. He said that next to him was Gilbert Gottfried and then he sees George Lucas and all of these other people. He said it was full of big stars. He said that he started laughing because Gilbert was there and he brought up how they know where they rank on the show based on where they're sitting. He said that Gilbert was telling him where they were compared to other people in the audience.
Howard asked if his wife was upset that his wife didn't have a ticket. Jim said he saw Colin Quinn outside and he was saying he didn't know he could bring a girl. He did his impression of Colin too. He said he heard that not everyone got their second half invited. Jim said screw that. Jim said his wife got upset that they didn't acknowledge him. Jim said he thought it was fine. He said he was happy just to be there.
Howard asked how they determined who did get acknowledged. Jim said he has no idea. Howard asked if he went over and said hello to anyone. Jim said he didn't say hello to a lot of people. He said that they're superstars. He said he's not going to ask if they remember him.
Howard asked if he was shocked by the Eddie Murphy thing. Jim said he's baffled just like everyone else. He said he was waiting for him to do something. Jim said he was up in the crowd and everyone was looking past him. He said Taylor Swift was behind him. Then Jimmy Fallon goes up and then McCartney is up there. Then it's Leonardo DiCaprio and Bradley Cooper in front of him. He said they're both like 6'4'' tall.
Jim said his wife wanted him to go say hi to Lorne but he was busy with everyone else. He said that he's so happy for Jimmy Fallon. He said that's what he always wanted. He said he wanted to go up and do an AC/DC song. Howard said maybe Jimmy gets to do it because he seizes the moment. Jim said that's true. He said he was at a wedding once and across from him was the lead singer of AC/DC. He said that he was flipping out. He said he went up to him and asked if he was the one he thinks he is. Jim said that he was talking to Brian Johnson at this wedding. He said his cousin is just a little off. He said he can't quite figure him out. He said he has been trying to be a lead singer of a band and he's in his 50s. He said at this wedding his Soupy Sales' kid and he's in David Bowie's band Tin Machine. He knew his cousin for a while. Jim said that Brian was there and they got up and performed at the wedding. Jim said that Brian was friends with the groom. Jim said when it was over the place cleared out. He said his shirt was off and he was standing there like a retard on a chair. He said he's singing along and going nuts. Jim said all of a sudden he sees the emcee looking at his cousin in an odd way. He said then he says they're not done and introduces him to come up and sing a song. Jim said that it was just awkward. He said he was trying to support the guy. Jim said he didn't want to be that guy at the Saturday Night Live party.
Howard said that when Jimmy gets up he doesn't think any of that. Howard said he has to seize the moment. Howard said he can't pick and choose. Jim said he's not going to do that. He said that's a tough room.
Howard said Jim was there and Prince was there. Jim said he's not a big Prince fan but his wife is. He said she flipped. He said that he was the only performer that went up and had every black staff member go up on stage with him. He said that it was hilarious.
Howard asked if his voice hurts when he dos Brian Johnson. Jim said not at all. Howard said that he wanted to rank Jim like Rolling Stone did. Howard said they ranked the top 5 characters he did on Saturday Night Live.
Jim said he lost all respect for Rolling Stone after that article. He said that he was calling staff members ''douche bags'' and things. He said they're just trying to make a living on that show. He said he wonders where he gets the right to do that. Jim said he doesn't get it. Jim said that he was talking about what an asshole these people were. He said he didn't have to be such a dick.
Howard said they put up 5 of his routines on their web site to show how funny he is. Howard said that it's all of his greats. Howard said he didn't want to embarrass him by playing them now.
Howard asked if there were people at the Saturday Night Live party that he was able to hang out with. Jim said that this guy Pete Davidson opened for him a couple of years ago. He said he's really rooting for him. He said that he liked seeing Will Ferrell and talking to him. He said he caught up with Will's mom too. He said Will could make you laugh just eating a sandwich. He said that he did a read through once and he just ate a sandwich and made them laugh. Jim said star struck wise he saw Leonardo and thought about how cool that was. He said he loves that guy. He said he's a huge fan of everything he's done. He said he was a huge fan before Titanic came out. He said he loved this stuff.
Jim said that he's a huge fan of Kristin Wiig too. He said he's really cute too. He said that she was talking to Leonardo and he wasn't sure what they were saying. He said that she had a drink in her hand and his wife took it. He said Kristin saw him and said ''Oh my god! Jim Breuer!'' Jim said that he was thinking that he might end up in her next movie. He said then she says ''My mother is such a big fan...'' Jim said that he told her to come say hello. Howard said Norm MacDonald is a great guy too. Jim did some of his impression of Norm. Jim said that he had his son there too. Jim said that Norm had him say hi to his son and do the goat thing.
Howard asked if he saw Norm's letterman appearance. Jim said he knows he was a big fan. Howard said that Jim was on Letterman. Jim said he was and his first appearance killed. He said he was doing impressions of Stallone and things like that and he crushed it. He said Letterman gave him a standing ovation. Howard said then what happened. Jim said his dad had a stroke so he went to Florida. He said about 6 weeks later they called and said they wanted him back. Jim said he wasn't ready. Jim said that they didn't think that he'd get back on if he didn't do it. Jim said he figured he could get on some other time. Jim said they wanted him on against Seinfeld being on Leno. He said he didn't want to waste material doing it so soon after. Howard asked if he went on again. Jim said he did and he ate dust like never before. He said that it was like Dave was leaning back in his chair. He said at one point he knew it was bad. Jim said that he was saying things that just weren't right. He said he was talking about the other show and how he's a bigger Met fan than the guy on the other show. Jim said that was it. He said he was never asked back again.
Howard said you always listen to your inner voice. Howard said do your best no matter what's happening. Jim said he has a lot of examples of ''what you should have done''. He said that's going to be his next book.
Howard said he knows he was at a Met game and he called the game. He said they were yelling at Jim for calling a home run and he thought he did a great job with it. Jim said he seized the moment. Howard had the clip of him calling the play. Howard said he should have been a play by play guy. Jim said he had a lot of fun doing that. He said he started working with a manager who asked him to talk to this Facebook person. He said that she told him that he should put one video a day up. He thought that was stupid but he started doing it. He said he would put things up that were things he wanted to talk about. Howard said he thought they were fun. Jim said he wanted to do a passionate fan thing about the Mets. He said that he loves them. Jim said he did that and then went to the head office of the Mets. He said that he went into the booth and did the call. He said at the end of the tape he threw in some things. Jim said that in his ear he was being told to let the announcers make the calls. He said he just seized the moment though.
Howard gave Jim some pugs and said you can find out more about his stuff at OfficialJimBreuer.com. Jim told Howard he has more to share with him in the future. He said he can't talk about it yet but he's got stories and things to tell Howard. Howard said he can come back when he's ready. He said he's always welcome unlike at Letterman. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said that he heard Bill went out to dinner and then went on MSNBC with Lawrence O'Donnell and he may have been a little slurry. Howard played a clip that JD had pulled. Bill Murray was talking about doing Letterman and going to dinner. Howard said he didn't sound drunk to him. Howard said JD made it sound like Bill sounded like JD.
Howard said they have to get to news. They played Robin into the news with a song parody. Howard said he has pages of songs he hasn't played yet. Howard wondered how many they have. Howard played another one by Daniel Mendelson. Howard said the last one was Eli Braden. Robin said she wants this one sung at her funeral. Howard said it will be. Howard said he's using his voice for good.
Robin started her news with a story about Zoe Kravitz being almost naked in the new Mad Max film. Howard said that's a good argument for two good looking people having babies. Howard said that Lisa Bonet and Lenny did that. Howard thanked them for doing that.
Robin said that the NY Times article that Howard contributed to is in the paper today. Howard said he hasn't read it yet. Howard said the guy was very nice when he interviewed him about Letterman. Howard said he spoke to the guy for about 40 minutes. He said he did evidently quote him correctly. He said Jon Hein read him some of the quotes. Howard said he thinks they did the right thing. Howard said he got a lot of calls about Letterman retiring. Howard said he's a fan of the NY Times so he did it. Howard said he's happy they're still around. Howard said he did it for Dave because Dave is still adorn for him too. Howard said that Julia Roberts and Jerry Seinfeld also spoke about Dave. Howard said Dave's last show is tonight and he's thinking it will do very well. Howard and Robin spent a few minutes talking about what might happen on Dave's final show.
Robin read about how TV show host Sandra Lee is doing well after a double mastectomy. Howard said that you wonder why there has to be breast cancer. He said of all of the things to get cancer it doesn't seem fair. He said it's a cruel joke. Robin said there's penis cancer and testicular cancer too. Howard said he doesn't believe that.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who asked if they have a number of shows Howard has done. They weren't sure. They talked about Howard going on Letterman too and how many times that was. Howard said that Dave said it was like 23 times but he knows it was more than that. Jim said that Howard's appearances have been the best. Howard said Gary ran out of fingers so all they know is that it's over 10. Howard said that he's not sure how many shows they've done. Howard said he doesn't want to know.
Robin said there is an airbag recall going on. Robin said Takata is recalling airbags for nearly 34 million vehicles. Robin said that the airbags can spray people with metal shrapnel. Robin said that it involves both sides. Howard said the airbag is a great innovation but they're making airbags that aren't right. Robin said the airbags can be found in 11 auto maker's vehicles. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said his pal Jimmy Kimmel was on his show crying about Letterman last night. Howard said he really has to stop that. Howard said he loves Dave so much but he doesn't cry over it. Howard said he doesn't even get to watch the show. Howard said Jimmy said that he's an older guy and he was already on the radio but for him it was always Letterman. Robin said even when Howard was on he didn't get wispy. Howard said he's happy for Letterman. He said he gets to wake up and not go to work. Howard said he cries for himself. Howard played a clip of Jimmy Kimmel crying about Letterman on his own show last night. Hoar said he's so much more emotionally connected. Howard said that's why he loves the guy. He said he could be a man though. Howard said he loves the guy but he's too emotionally connected to Letterman. Robin said he credit over John Ritter too. Howard said Jimmy had better cry over him. He said he listens to him more than he watches Letterman. Howard said he wishes he would drop his name in there too. Howard played more of the clip of Jimmy crying and asking his viewers to watch Dave's show instead of his rerun the next night.
Howard said Jimmy is a good, solid guy but this carrying on ridiculous. Howard also played a clip of Jimmy talking about John Ritter dying and breaking down and crying over that. In that clip Jimmy said he knew Howard Stern would play it and make fun of him. Howard said maybe he should call Jimmy and offer his condolences. Howard said that Jimmy gets the gold star for his tribute to Dave. He said Jimmy Fallon did a tribute but this crying trumps everything. Howard said he cried when Zayn left one Direction too. Hard said he loves Jimmy and he's not goofing on him. Robin said he is too. Howard said he's just jealous that Jimmy can feel like that.
Robin read a story about the guests on Letterman last night. Robin said Regis Philbin was on for a little bit of the show. Robin had audio of Bob Dylan singing. Howard said that was horrible. He played it earlier in the show. Robin said that Bill Murray was on too and she had some audio of Bill doing his thing last night. Robin also had audio of Regis interrupting Dave's monologue to ask where he's going to go. Robin said Dave's last show is on tonight. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the owner of the Patriots saying that they're accepting the sanctions that the NFL imposed against them. Robin said that this is all over the ball deflating scandal. Robin had some audio of Robert Kraft talking about that. Robin said that Tom Brady has been suspended over that.
Robin read a story about some biker gangs that got into a gun fight in Waco, Texas. Robin said they're saying they expect retaliation for this in other parts of the country. Robin said she finds this very scary. She said they may be going down there to fight against the police. Robin said they say there could be some confrontations with more biker gangs. Robin had some audio of an official asking for a truce to be called. Robin said she understands that the whole thing started over a parking dispute. Robin said that someone ran over someone else's foot and that's what caused all of this.
Howard took a call from a guy who said his wife bought a dress for a party and she said she had to return it because Bruce Jenner is wearing the same dress. He asked how Howard would feel if Beth had that problem. Howard said that it's going to be great when they do a Who Wore it Best some day between Bruce and a woman. Howard said the caller should wear the dress.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he thinks Dave was great because you tuned in for him and not for the guest. He said that he really is the best. Howard said Dave was very good to him and he is emotional too. Ralph said Dave never put up with any shit. He said he's his own guy. Howard said Ralph hasn't been this emotional since his Iron Man figure got scratched.
Robin read a story about pedicures and how you have to be careful getting them done. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how to be save at a salon. Howard said he was going for pedicure and manicures for a while but he felt kind of like a douche. Howard said he just wants his nails cut professionally. He said he'd go and then one girl took a picture of him and it ended up in the paper. He said he got uptight. He said he felt like he had to talk to everyone in the shop and all of that. He said it became a big production. Howard said now he clips his own nails and it hurts. He said that Beth has been helping him out and she does a good job. He said he hates that she has to do it. He said he's just so gross. Howard said he was beating off last night and he looked in the mirror. He said he saw an ad for this little dick thing and he felt bad because his penis is smaller than the small guy in the ad. Howard said then he saw himself in the mirror and he was grossed out by himself.
Robin had more foot specialist clips for Howard to play. Robin said you never put an open wound into a foot bath. Howard said that was the other thing that grossed him out. Howard said he didn't want toe fungus like Gary had.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if he has ever considered having Jim sit in the Artie chair. Howard said Artie sat in that chair. Howard said he's fine without anyone else in there. Howard said he liked Jackie and he liked Artie but things are good the way they are now. The caller said she loves Jim and she'd love him in there. Howard said he loves Jim too but he's not bringing an army in there every morning. Howard said everyone asks about having someone sit in. Howard said that's Artie's chair. He said he's not putting someone else in it.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked if Robin can send him some pictures to jerk off to since his wife is out of town. Howard let him go pretty quickly.
Robin read a story about this music service that Jay Z has out called Title and had some audio of Jay Z in some video he put out. Howard said it comes off weird complaining about the other music services not paying him enough when he's got a ton of money already. Robin said he was talking about the critics of the service. Howard said he doesn't think the kids care about that stuff. Howard said he knows the guy wants to get paid more money with his own streaming service. Howard said he has to offer something that's gratifying to the consumer. Howard said the average consumer doesn't care who gets paid.
Robin read a story about ISIS and what's going on in Iraq. Robin said that there are a lot of people whose kid's lives were lost fighting for that city over there and now the city has been taken over. Howard said they got rid of Saddam Hussein and now something worse is taking over. Howard said that we have to commit to staying around for 100 years in a location if we do that. Howard said they were told that they would love having a democracy over there. Howard said now Iran is going to end up with Iraq and they will enjoy the oil and profits of that country. Howard said that's what we did by getting rid of Saddam Hussein. Howard said they'll end up with something just as bad as they had there before. Robin had some audio of the mother of someone talking about losing her son in the battle over there and now she's seeing this going on. Howard said that we don't know how the hell to get out. He said the country won't be any better off without Hussein. He said it's impossible to intervene in these backwards countries. Howard said this is a big disaster. He said at least with the Germans they knew who they were fighting.
Robin read a story about how Michelle Obama is working out and they have video of that. Robin said she has a much better body than you'd think. Robin said she's wearing a black leotard thing in the video. Robin said she works out hard. Robin said it was quite impressive. Howard said good for her.
Robin read about how a substitute teacher was caught on video using a belt on some kids in class. Robin had some audio of that. Robin said that they're looking into that at the school. Robin said that the incident has been referred to the police.
Robin read a story about Mad Men ending on Sunday night. Howard asked if she liked that show. Robin said the first few seconds were good but it limped to the end. Robin had Howard play the theme song. Robin said the ratings were down a bit for that finale. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Jon said that his guest today knows a lot about TV. He said Ken Levine is there to talk about all things Howard Stern. Ken said he always wanted to be on the Howard Stern show. He said he's not on it but he's on Howard Stern Adjacent. Ken said that he has never been able to say ''fuck'' before so he did that for Jon. Jon said Ken was away from Howard for a while but then he got a car with Sirius in it. Ken said he was a fan of Howard's for a long time and he was a DJ. He said when he went off of terrestrial he was cheap and didn't want to pay for it. He said he just got a new car and it had the free trial. He said he got to listen after a number of years and he really appreciated Howard. He wrote a blog post about that. Ken said that Howard has always been very funny but you forget how smart he is. He said his interviews are magnificent. Ken said that everyone had to be addicted on heroin this week other than Jim Breuer. Ken said his interviews are fascinating because he actually listens.
Jon said their poll today is brought to them by Matthew Berry who is their new poll guy. Jon said Matthew is in studio again today. Matthew said that he has a question for who comes up with the polls. He said that he wants to know if Bobo should be on the show or not. He said he thinks they'll get the first 100 percent vote for no. Jon said the poll isn't about him today. Matthew said they're asking ''Should Evil Dave be in the Wack Pack?'' The choices are:
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show after that. Jon said that there was a lot of Letterman talk today. He said that there is a lot of reflection on Dave. He said Jimmy Kimmel broke down and Howard couldn't relate to that. Jon said that Howard doesn't get why he'd get so sentimental over that. Jon said he wasn't saying you can't be sentimental over it but he didn't get the crying. Jon asked if Ken thinks that Howard wishes he had that gene or is he happy he doesn't. Ken said he thinks Howard would be a very different guy if he was like that. He said that Jimmy knows what that job entails and he can relate to Dave more. Ken said he used to love Dave. He said he was amazing with his morning show and he was just so different. He said his late night show on NBC was phenomenal. He said he's not sure if young people today appreciate that. He said these days he's not the same guy. He said that a couple of years ago a meanness crept in and Dave changed.
Matthew said that Dave was a comedy trailblazer and people don't realize that today. He said Dave would come out in sneakers and Khakis. He said that was a big deal back in the day.
Jon and the guys spent a few minutes talking about Dave and compared him to Howard. My apologies for zoning out during this discussion. There's something about Matthew Berry that shuts me down.
Gary came in and said that Barry Levinson heard Belzer on the show and he put him on Homicide. He said that they used that character on different shows for over 18 years.
Jon asked if Ken thinks that you get a boost in the arm from being on the show. Ken said that they used to get to work and talk about the show and the gusts. He said it was always fun when someone they knew would go on the show and be crushed on the show. He said comedy writers are cruel and mean so they appreciate that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks what makes Howard, Howard is that he isn't trying to be someone else. He said he wasn't looking up to someone. He said his canvas was clean. Gary said he's right about that. Gary said Howard had influences but not idols. He said Letterman had Carson as an idol. Gary said Howard thinks autographs are stupid. He said they got something for Howard one year and it was a Moe Howard thing and it really meant nothing to Howard.
Jon brought up Kimmel crying again and Gary said he disagrees with Howard on that. He said he sees that as a strength but Howard sees it as a weakness.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he never cries. He said even when he was born he didn't cry. Gary said that Shuli was watching Deadliest Catch and he started to cry when someone on the show died. He said his wife wondered what he was doing. The caller said Robin is preaching feminism stuff but she goofs on Jimmy about crying. They spent a little more time talking about that and then went to break.
Matthew said he thinks that people enjoy hearing the back and forth on the show. He said when he thinks about the good moments on the show it's moments between Howard and the guys on the staff. Gary asked if they have ever been yelled at on their jobs like they have been yelled at. Matthew said he hasn't. He said it's different on the show because it's on the air.
Ken asked Gary if he ever goes home and his feelings are hurt. Gary said he has gone home and felt horrible about himself. He said he's never cried though. He said Benjy has. He said Howard was railing against Benjy and Benjy cried.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it's his birthday today and this is the best gift he's had. He said he was so moved by Jim today. He said he took a really sad situation and put some humor into it. He said he was with his dad when he was passing. He told a story about asking his dad if he was going to be there when he ran out to get food. He said his dad went into a coma when he left. He said that he heard the story today and he could relate to it. The caller continued with his story and said he really could relate to it. They had to cut him off to move on.
Matthew said Jim is a good example of someone that he wasn't a big fan of before but he learned more about him and he's a big fan now.
Jon said they have to wrap up the show soon so he went to him for the poll results. Matthew said that 50 percent of the vote went to ''What are you talking about? I though that was David Letterman.'' He said 28 percent to ''No'' and 20 percent went to ''yes.''
Gary said that he has friends who don't know that Evil Dave isn't David Letterman. He said he thinks that vote could be real. They got in some plugs and ended the show around 11:55am.
Jon said that JD is very busy on social networks. Gary said that if you're not a hot chick or a celebrity you won't get a text from him. He said h can't blame him for that. Jake said he likes getting those texts.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. He also asked Rahsaan what they have in the poll today. Rahsaan said they heard Medicated Pete mic'd up the other day. He said they're asking ''Which Staffer Would You Want to Hear Mic'd Up Next?'' and the choices are:
Gary said that's a tough poll. He said he'd like to hear JD and Sal and even Scott mic'd up. Jake said you know there's anger with Scott. He said that you will catch him with something. Jon said he would pick Ronnie and Scott but ultimately Scott. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Jon said that they are all fans of David Letterman. He said he hung it up last night. Jon said he wondered if Howard would make an appearance in the top 10. Gary said he wonders if they even called him. Gary said maybe they thought he'd be fucking annoyed and not do it. Jon said maybe they knew he wouldn't want to be part of it. Gary said he's not sure if they even made that call.
Jon said Dave went out in that way and he wonders how Howard will go out. He said he thought it was right for Dave but maybe not for Howard. Jake said he doesn't think Howard wants to cry but there is a chance that maybe he would. He said that's if there is a big send off. He said maybe Howard will just say ''see ya later'' and leave. He said that his career isn't that organized to plan that far ahead. Gary said that Howard has said they are in talks but the negotiation may come down to the wire. Gary said they could go on vacation December 17th and they may not know if he's coming back until after that.
Gary said he didn't see the entire Letterman show but he heard he just walked out the front door and not into the limo out on the side of the building. Gary said no one bothered him when he did that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he hated Pitbull until this interview this week. He said Howard just killed it and made him love the guy. He said that he thinks that it's Pitbull being honest. He asked Gary if he has ever booked a guest who pissed him off by not answering any questions. Gary said not in a long time. He said these days people know they have to come prepared. He said if you don't then it's bad for promotion.
Jake said he can't imagine someone agreeing to do the show and not commit to doing it. He said everyone knows he does the best interview at this point. Jake said that you come to Howard for the best interview. He said he's not the devil that he was in the 80s or 90s. He said he thinks celebrities have figured that out.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how medicated Pete got the job there. Gary said he came as an intern. He said Howard asked him the same question the other day. Gary said that the theory is that the person hiring interns hated Scott and they hired Pete just to bother Scott. Jon said he thinks he's right about him being sent to Scott in a vengeful way.
Gary said they have had so many people who were interns who have made a name there. Gary said that they had Mitch Fatel there and he told them about this guy he knew who stutters and that turned out to be Stuttering John. Gary said that Howard told him to hire him without even meeting him. Gary said they had Smelly James, Stuttering Vic and more. He said that Pete is in a long line of company.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves the wrap up shows. He said that he has to build a case for Howard staying on radio. He said Howard has been doing this for what seems like 200 years. He said he's doing what Pitbull is doing with his channel. He said that Howard is at the tip of the iceberg right now. He said if Howard leaves then there will be thousands of people with nothing to write about or talk about.
Gary said the question isn't if he can still do it. He said it's if it's worth it to Howard to do it. Gary said he doesn't think Howard has been sharper than he is now. Jon said someone wanted to ask who can fill the void when Howard leaves. Jon said the answer is no one. Jake said he'd like to see what it would be like if Pitbull did that. He said that they tried to fill Howard's spot with all talk and it didn't work. Gary said they had David Lee Roth, Adam Carolla, Rover and someone else and all four of them couldn't make one Howard. Gary said the history books about radio will have a chapter about David Lee Roth replacing Howard. Jake said the only 6 weeks he worked in radio when Howard wasn't there was when he stayed at Free FM. He said he did that just to be able to interact with David Lee Roth once a week. He said that he had his uncle Manny on the show and that was his ''big'' first guest. Jon said no one will be able to fill that void for Howard. He said he hopes that doesn't happen for years.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has been listening since the 80s. He said that when Artie wasn't around the show wasn't doing well. Gary disagreed with that. The caller said that Artie got nasty with people. Gary said Artie did 9 years on the show and the bulk of Artie was good. The caller said that Howard and Robin are arguing too much now. He said it seems like on every topic Robin is disagreeing and doesn't let it go until Howard ends it.
Jon said he disagrees with his analysis but on Wednesday Robin was shot out of a cannon about everything. He said she was arguing with everyone about a bunch of things. Jon said it can get boring if they don't argue about some things. Gary said you don't agree with everything your wife says. He said that Robin and Howard won't agree. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Gary said that they had a smoking room with some old stuff in there. He said that he went in there to smoke too and it was gross. He said he was smoking and it was just gross.
Jon said Scott came in earlier than anyone else. He said that he was a good guy and he wouldn't be there if Howard didn't believe in him. Gary said that Scott was a sound engineer and that's why they brought him in. He said they have technical engineers there at Sirius. He said Scott even got yelled at for the air conditioning failing at K-Rock. Jon said that he gets shafted a little unfairly at times.
Jon asked Jake about Medicated Pete and if he thinks Beetlejuice is the winner in the Wack Pack Bracket. Jake said of course he is. He said that his favorite story was from about 2000 when he went to auditioning for a movie and he walked into a room and the only other actor in the room was Beetlejuice. He said he was shocked. He said Beet booked the part in the movie ''Bubble Boy.'' Jake said he was auditioning for the party that Jake Gyllenhaal got. Gary said it is jarring when you walk in and see Beetlejuice. Jake said he remembers seeing Hank at K-Rock and things like that. He said he got stuck next to High Pitch Eric on the train once. He said it's weird to interact with Wack Packers in real life.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if it's wrong of Howard for not doing something to have someone else come in for when he leaves. He said that the millions of fans have to find a new hobby. Gary asked who else has ever done something like that. The caller said no one comes to mind. Gary said that Leno didn't pick a successor. Gary said you do what you do and it's not Howard's place to tell Sirius who is going to replace him. Jon said Letterman wasn't involved with picking Stephen Colbert. Gary said that's not his decision to make. Jake said Carson didn't pick a successor. Jon said when Howard goes he goes. He said the chips will fall where they may. He said this week Jimmy Kimmel came on and they heard him crying about Letterman. Jon said if Howard goes away he doesn't think he wants anyone to approach his level of success.
Gary said Jimmy Kimmel is on, Jimmy Fallon is on so where do Letterman's viewers go? Jake said they're showing reruns of the Mentalist tonight. Gary said they have to go somewhere. Jon said it's tricky with Dave. He said he thinks more will go to Kimmel than Fallon. Jon said he thinks that viewers are lazy and they may go to Colbert when he starts. Jon said the audience for late night is decreasing anyway.
Gary said he thinks they made a mistake putting off Colbert for the whole summer. He said that people are creatures of habit and people will be watching something else by then.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that no one can replace Howard Stern. Jon and Gary agreed. The caller also said that the caller earlier talking about Artie doesn't get how it works. He said that people don't realize that the show just keeps going. Jon said that you'll always find people who say the show was best when Jackie or Artie were around. He said everyone is entitled to their opinion but the show goes on while the whole world changes.
Gary said that Howard was able to crush DeBella's show because they never changed. He said Howard will put something to rest after a while. He said evolving is the way to keep people interested.
Jon asked Jake about the DeBella funeral thing. Jake said the biggest thing he did was get a kazoo out and get people to do a Louie, Louie parade. He said they were right outside DeBella's studio and there was so much going on there. He said he was only 13 but that's where he wanted to be. Gary said he thinks Jake is confusing two events. He said they had a divorce party and that was really crazy. He said it was in the square where the Liberty Bell is. He said that it seems like they hired a big event planner but they didn't. Jake said that was actually clear. Gary said they got in a car and fans surrounded the car and they were scared shitless. He said they were afraid they were going to get killed.
Jon said Philly fans are a special breed. Gary said that's for sure. He said the numbers in Philly were crazy. He said they had huge ratings there. He said that is the craziest market they were ever in.
Jon asked Rahsaan for the results of the poll. Rahsaan said that Ronnie came in as the winner with 38 percent of the votes. He said JD came in with 27 percent. Jake said he thinks it would be a lot of him surfing the web and not as much talking as you'd think.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and gave some plugs to Jake for his stuff. They ended the show around Noon.
Gary said he had to go look up Joey Slotnick. He said that's a great gift. Michael said that it's not a great gift. He asked what the fuck is wrong with him.
Jon said he did nothing wrong. He said he read what Michael asked him to read word for word. Then he said that he blamed him for reading something wrong but he read it exactly as he wrote it. Michael said he has people looking it over. Michael said he hasn't reread it yet. Gary said they should refer to Michael as fan favorite from now on. Michael said that's the kind of thing he wants to talk about. He asked where Benjy is. He said that he wants to get that cocksucker in there to talk. Gary said he's heard Howard talk to him. He said he has asked for Benjy and some Wack Packers and he gets nothing.
Jon said he asks for a lot on the show. Jon said there are a lot of requests but he's not just happy to be there. Michael asked how long that drawing took to do. Jon said it was probably 6 hours. Michael asked for something good. He said that he should draw him.
Jon asked who Joey Slotnick is. Gary said he's the guy who owns the comic book store on Big Bang Theory. He said he's a funny actor.
Gary said Brandano drew him something a few years ago of a super sad Rex Ryan. He said that it's a great drawing. Jon said you can see some of Steve's drawings @SBrandano on Twitter.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they have a poll to put up. He said that he wants one for ''Most annoying Wack Packer'' and he thinks Michael will win it. Jon asked if he understands why he's considered a Wack Packer. Michael said that's not good. He said he appreciates the consideration. He said he passed on the poll though.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon said they have so much to talk about and they won't be having a poll today due to technical difficulties.
Jon said that Jim Breuer was talking about the Rolling Stone article where he was rated at number 139th out of the whole cast of Saturday Night Live. Jon asked Michael if he lets negative stuff affect him. Michael said that Jim Breuer is enormously talented. He said when he gets good reviews he takes them as a pat on the back but the bad ones he takes the same way. Michael said if it's a good reviewer that he respects he might take it more seriously. He asked who really gives a shit anyway.
Gary said in Rolling Stone it has some relevance to some people. Michael said they were done for him once they went to the new format. Gary said that when you see it in a list it seems real. Jon said that you want to generate controversy with something like that. Jon said they will never have a consensus on something like that.
Michael asked who the guy was that wrote the list. Jon wasn't sure who it was but he thought it was a single hipster who wrote it.
Gary said that people wrote about David Letterman and there were a couple in the past couple of days that were really negative. He said he was surprised to read that and how the tone was that Letterman was a liberal left wing elitist. He said he was kind of shocked by that. Jon said he thinks that it's people just trying to be noticed. Jon said you have to respect what Dave did and the love and respect he gets from industry and non-industry people. Jon said he hates that people write stuff just to get noticed.
Jon asked if Michael is a hipster. Michael said that he's not one at all. Gary said he doesn't think you can be over 40 and be a hipster. Michael agreed. He said it's a new wave of people who are the selfie generation. He said it's not cool to be a hipster.
Gary talked about how Dave went off on John McCain and he thinks that's why people think he's left wing. The reason he did that was because McCain didn't show up on his show. They went to break a short time later.
Gar asked if he realizes there isn't an N in his last name. Michael said he's not saying an N. Gary said he's saying ''Gary Dell'Abonte.'' Michael asked what his middle name is. Gary said he has two. One is Patrick and one is Angelo. Michael said that's fucked up. Gary agreed.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary about being on Letterman a few years back and if that was one of the two or three highlights from his career. Gary said it was one of the highlights. He said it was the first thing he did on tour. He said he made Dave laugh once. He said that he was shocked he was even invited on. He said when you're back stage you're so nervous. He said you can't hear what's going on. He said they just push you out there like they're pushing you out of a plane. He said the Today show was pretty amazing too.
Jon said Michael was on there too. Michael said he was on maybe 3 times. He said the first time was shit but the second time was okay. He said if there was a third time it was okay. He said he was a little intimidated by him and his father told him to tell him to fuck off if he gave him a hard time. He said he had that in his ear the whole time.
Jon said Howard was on Letterman and he always did something different. He said he's not sure how Dave felt about shaking things up but Howard thought it was okay and Letterman played along. Gary said he thinks Dave enjoyed having Howard on or he wouldn't have had him on so much.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has a beef with Michael. He said he complains about the gift bags and stuff. He said he should be bringing the bags for getting him exposure on the show. He said he should show some respect. Michael said he sounds like he has his thumb up his ass. He told him that he should get on a pogo stick and if he gets near a bridge to just keep going.
Gary asked if he thinks he should be showing more respect. Michael said he's there to help them help themselves. He said that they're not taking advantage of some things there. Michael said he thinks this show could take off and they could take it somewhere else. He said that this guy Rahsaan is there and he's never heard a word from him. Rahsaan said that he loves his rants. He said he's like one of his home boys that he grew up with. He said he doesn't take anything to heart. He said it's funny. Michael said he appreciates that. He said that's a civilized, adult exchange.
Michael said that if they take anything he says seriously on the show then they have to look at themselves. He said they don't understand what the Wrap Up Show is all about.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about sharing office space with Will Murray. He said Will got called in a couple of times this week. He asked how he felt. Jon said Will was very bummed out. He said there are so many things happening at once and Will has a huge responsibility back there. He said that they all felt bad for Will. He said it took about 3 minutes before they were joking around again.
Jon said that Gary knows the feeling about making an honest mistake and Howard deals with it on the air. He said that you don't know that you've made that mistake until Howard tells you that you have. Gary said that in the first 20 years of the show every mistake was his fault. Gary said the thing that made him crazy was that he'd make a mistake Tuesday morning and going out the Saturday before was the reason for it.
Michael said that he knows Gary took it hard in the past. He said he's a good bottom pig. Gary said that there was a long period of time it was just him and one person in the back. He said that you have to absorb all of that stuff. He said the fights they had were over the mistakes but then it goes on for 15 minutes. He said that he would wonder if he wanted his blood and then Jackie would write the ''repeat after me'' stuff.
Michael asked where the fuck Stuttering John is. Jon told him to hold on to that question because they had to take a break.
Jon said that he's 71 and still has that voice. He said that he told some crazy stories. He said The Who are celebrating their 50th anniversary. Michael said that it's great that they're still alive and performing. He said they still kick ass up there. Michael said maybe the people should vape it instead of smoke it if they're upset about it.
Gary said he's taken his kids to see some of the older bands. He said that he's taken them to see the Eagles and things like that. He said he wonders how many more times they'll be able to see them. Gary said that he's going to see The Who and their set list is great. Jon said Joan Jett opens up for them and her set list is great too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Rapaport is the best guest they have. He said that Howard did cry during Letterman. Gary asked why he thinks he would cry about that and not tell them. Gary said he doesn't think that Howard is a crier. Gary said he thinks Dave was taken aback by the audience giving him a standing ovation as long as they did. Gary said that he's going to be sad when Howard retires. Michael said there is no last show with Howard. He said they can talk about that in 5 years. Jon asked if he has a problem with guys crying. Michael said of course not. He said he cries. He cries at movies all the time. He said he cries more than most men. He said he cried at the thought of coming there today. He said he got a hold of himself and came anyway.
Jon said that Michael was on Louie this season and he credit on that show. Michael said you have to do that at any means necessary. He said that in acting you can be in the moment or pull something very personal to get to that place. He said it's draining but fulfilling.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has to compliment Michael. He said he thinks he did great on Louie. He said that he should get an Emmy for that. Michael thanked him for that. The caller said he's great on the show and he loves that he gives the guys shit. He said he's a pleasure. Michael said he appreciates that.
Michael was talking about his playlist that he sent to Gary to listen to. Gary said he can't listen to the whole list because he can only listen on his computer. Michael said it's a Spotify list too. He said he should be listening to it.
Jon wrapped up the show and got in some plugs for Sternthology and some plugs for Michael Rapaport. They ended the show around Noon.