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Howard started the show asking how come Jimmy Kimmel didn't have the Apple Watch. Jimmy said he never wears a watch. He said he doesn't see any use for the watch either. He said he's waiting to see someone else at the office using one and showing that it has a purpose. Howard said Ralph got 3 of them. Howard said that their guest today is Jimmy Kimmel. He said he was watching Ralph with the watch and he was turning dials and obsessed with it. He said that he wanted to go see The Avengers too. Howard said that he was going to go with Beth so he contacted Ralph calling him and texting him. He said he wasn't able to get a hold of him. He said he has all of these devices and he can't get in touch with him. Then Ralph called all upset. He said he doesn't take blocked calls and he got upset over that. Then he said that he can't go to the movies because he has errands to run and he has to go to the gym. Robin asked what day that was. Howard said it was Sunday. Howard said he was going to go to the movie himself but he chickened out. He said that Beth told him what he'd have to do and he didn't go. Robin said he needed Ralph. Jimmy said he's a real Avenger.
Jimmy asked why Ralph has 3 Apple Watches. Robin said one has to sit on a shelf. Howard said Jimmy will be there all show. Howard said he blew off all of his ABC commitments. Howard said he blew off Kelly Ripa. Jimmy said he doesn't like to leave the show. He said he has separation anxiety.
Howard said he was so jealous that Jimmy had Van Halen on his show. Howard said David Lee Roth came out and he's doing the Karate thing and he's into twirling batons and shit. Howard said that he was spinning the microphone stand and he hit himself in the head with it. Jimmy said it was actually a special stick that he spins. He said it wasn't the microphone stand. Howard said it is karate shit though. Jimmy said he is good at it but on his show he hit himself in the face with it about 20 seconds into the first performance. He said they had been working on getting this to happen for years. He said it's a huge production and David hits himself right in the face. He said there was blood all over the place. Howard said Eddie looked like he was cracking up the whole time.
Jimmy said David left the stage and had them put duct tape on it. Robin said that he was an EMT. Jimmy said they put a bandage on it and then it went from David twirling to looking like he had a big, bloody bandage on his face. Howard said with rock stars it's about appearance too. Jimmy said he was impressed that he kept going. Howard said he does love those guys.
Howard said David hates him. He said he really does. He found out for sure. Howard asked Jimmy about playing the clarinet. Jimmy said he does. Howard asked who his clarinet hero is. Jimmy said there aren't too many. He said probably Woody Allen.
Howard said he took clarinet. He said he faked playing for 6 years in school. He said he never learned. Howard said he would go and pretend. He said he'd play air clarinet. Howard said then they had 4 clarinet players who had to perform together. Howard said one of the guys knew how to play and then there was him and Barbara who didn't know how to play. Howard said she did the same thing he did. Howard said they both faked it the whole time.
Jimmy said clarinet isn't cool but the flute is even less cool. Howard said it became kind of cool when Jethro Tull started playing it. Jimmy said he players it for the show once in a while.
Howard said they should have Jimmy play with Gary on Trumpet. Jimmy said the trumpet is one of the cooler instruments. Howard played a clip of Gary playing the 20th Century Fox music.
Howard asked if Jimmy was hanging with Van Halen. Jimmy said they got right out of there when they were done. He said that Wolfgang is really good. He said you assume that he's going to be great because he's Eddie's kid. Howard said they never do turn out that great. Jimmy said John Bonham's son is great. Howard said that's true.
Howard said that Johnny Carson's second wife died. Howard said that her name is Joann. Howard said she was 83 years old. Howard said she was good friends with Truman Capote and she moved him into her house after she and Johnny split. Howard said she was no idiot either. Howard read about her schooling.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who has an agenda with Jimmy. Howard said Jimmy's favorite wack packer was Eric the Actor and they lost Eric. Jimmy said that he was enraged to see Paul Newman attached to balloons on the Letterman prime time special. Howard said they were told that it was impossible to do. Jimmy said they could have put Eric in a basket or something. Howard said they should have put him in a basket and flown him into the sky.
Howard said Jimmy loved Eric. Jimmy said he did. Howard said that Jimmy emailed him about Eric's Amazon wish list still being up. Howard said they haven't taken it down. Howard said that's so wrong. Howard said Jimmy bought Eric a bunch of stuff. Jimmy said he liked to buy things for him and he's sure that he didn't find humor in it. He said he'd buy things that the shipping was higher than the cost of the product. He said he'd send him a single can of Pringles and things like that. He bought him a BB gun too. Robin said the best thing about that was that they'd open a door and let him shoot it out.
Howard said they put up a poll a few months ago about the best Wack Packers of all time and Jimmy said he could write a 5000 word essay on the subject. Jimmy said he looks at it in sports terms. He said to be the best of all time you have to span decades. He said that Beetlejuice has been around a long time and he's still very strong to this day. He said he's more normal these days but he's still up there. He said Eric pushed a lot of buttons. He said that you might not appreciate Eric as much. Howard said the highlight for Jimmy was when Eric put out a hit on that guy he didn't like. Howard said that the flying with balloons thing was a big deal too.
Jimmy asked why Howard wanted to fly him with balloons. Howard said he knew Eric would never do it. He said the whole thing was torture for him. Jimmy also mentioned Eric's fear of werewolves. Howard said Eric thought they lived in New Mexico and he was afraid of them when he went to shoot the show ''In Plain Sight.''
Howard said the reality is that they knew they would never fly Eric with balloons. Robin said it infuriated Eric that they didn't let it go. Fred played Eric's ''Nanu, Nanu'' clip while they were talking about that.
Howard asked Jimmy if he will ever write a 5,000 word essay. Jimmy said he would if he wants him to. Jimmy said he loved when Eric would stop calling in and banned himself from the show. He said Howard never went to any lengths to get him to call back. Howard said Eric would ban himself from Twitter too. Howard said another great moment was when he said he would never call in and he called in as someone else. Howard thought it was ''Tex'' but he was talking about Derrick. Howard said he's going to give Jimmy a quiz later in the show.
Howard picked up on Hanzi again. Howard had put him on hold when he interrupted their discussion about Eric. Hanzi said that it's about time. Howard said he has nothing to say anyway. Robin said he has nothing to do either. Howard said he has to get to the gym. Jimmy said he sounds happy today. Hanzi asked if the offer still stands for him having a job with him or not. Jimmy didn't understand what he said. Jimmy said there was never an offer made. Howard said that's what Hanzi does. He said he uses his imagination. Hanzi said he wants to be a writer for him. Howard said he's never written anything. Hanzi said that he has contributed to the show. Howard said he hasn't written for them.
Jimmy said if you wants to be a writer for the show is send them a packet of material. Jimmy said he likes to see how topical things can be. He said that he'd tell him to write 5-10 jokes about today's news. He said that he can call back later in the show and read them. Howard said that's what writers do. Hanzi said it's not too much work but he just wants to be on the show. Hanzi said he can be entertaining too.
Howard said Jimmy could use Hanzi for a basement correspondent or something. Jimmy said that would be funny for a few people but it might be depressing for others. Howard let Hanzi go a short time later. They played him out with his Imran Khan theme song and then went to break.
Jimmy said Carson does his morning show right after the Today show. Howard said that's insane. Jimmy agreed. Howard asked if anyone is writing about that. Jimmy said he has 3 kids too. Howard said he thought he was single. Howard said he has to be ignoring the kids. Howard asked what his wife does. Jimmy said her name is Siri just like the Apple voice thing.
Howard said that he was moaning to Jimmy that he's aggravated that he has to do Letterman tonight. He said it should be fun but it's not. Howard said it was on his mind all day yesterday. He said he should be able to go on and just wing it. Jimmy said it's the last one and he won't have to do it again after this. Robin said he can suck and it won't matter. Jimmy said it is the last so you do want to go out on a high note. Howard said he doesn't want to suck. Jimmy said it sucks if you go on 19 times and the 20th sucks. Howard said that would suck.
Howard said he knows Jimmy is a big Letterman fan. He said it was very gracious of him to back out and broadcast a rerun on the night of Dave's last show. Howard said he thought it was cool but then Jerry Seinfeld smacked him in the head over it. Howard said that must have aggravated him. Jimmy said it did make him feel bad. Howard asked if that bummed him out. Jimmy said it did. He said he admires Jerry. Howard said Jimmy doesn't run ABC and all he wanted to do was put up a blank card saying ''Go watch Letterman.'' Jimmy said they didn't let him do that but they are letting him run a rerun in Sweeps. Howard said that is a gesture to his hero and Jerry never says anything bad about anyone... except Jimmy. Howard said that it seemed like a genuine thing for Jimmy to do.
Howard had audio of Jerry talking about this thing. Howard said it's Billy Bush interviewing Jerry. Jimmy said that he quickly changes his mind once Jerry goes negative. Howard said that Jerry defended Michael Richards for screaming out the N-word in a club. Howard played the clip and Jerry said that we know all about Jimmy loving Dave. He said he's not moved. Then Billy Bush turns on Jimmy too. Jerry suggested putting up a test pattern. That's what Jimmy wanted to do. Jerry said that TV Land put up a test pattern for the night of his finale. Howard said that network would do better with a test pattern. He said that's not a big deal.
Jimmy said his mom made him a Letterman jacket. He said he used to wear it around all the time. He said now he gets one every year from the Letterman show. He said he has like 10. Jimmy said he was such a big fan of late night that he had a ''L8NITE'' license plate. He said that he went to the DMV to pick up the plate and the woman there knew what it was. He said he was shocked that she knew. Jimmy said he used to make buttons with Dave's face on it. Howard said maybe he should go on Letterman tonight instead of him.
Howard said Jimmy is in town for the ABC up fronts. He said that's where they introduce new shows and things. Howard said Jimmy is the host. Jimmy said he's not really the host. He said he goes up in the middle of the thing and tells some jokes. He said NBC and FOX are making their announcements today too so he'll joke about those.
Howard said Jimmy has a ton of jokes that he writes. Howard said he might start with like 500. Jimmy said maybe that many. Howard said then he writes them all down and does 10-15 minutes. Howard asked how many he'll do. Jimmy said maybe between 30-40. Howard asked if he tells his wife the jokes. Jimmy said he assembles a small group of people at ABC to go through them with. He said he has gotten it down to 12 pages of jokes. Howard said that's how many jokes. Jimmy said probably 100-120.
Howard said he has to do an announcement for a charity event. Howard said he was reading them out loud and many don't work because they're too wordy. Howard said that they can be too awkward. Jimmy said the fewer words the better. Howard asked if he ever tells one and realizes that it plays better in his head. Jimmy said that he can pass things if they're not rolling.
Howard said the worst thing has to be when you tell a bunch in a row that don't hit. Jimmy said that they rarely bomb. Howard said that Jimmy is always doing stuff like this. Howard said Jimmy might be working too hard. He said he has a new kid and he's married. He said he works an insane amount of hours on the TV show. Howard said he goes out and does bits for the show. Howard said it's ridiculous. Jimmy said he could just do the show and nothing else. He said too many people ask him to do other things. He said he's said no to a lot of things.
Howard said Jimmy is good in email too. He said he writes witty and funny things. Howard said he must spend a lot of time with email. Jimmy said he does get a lot of emails. He said a lot are business related though. Howard said that it's a lot of work when you have email. Jimmy said there is a lot going on. He said he gets 3-400 a day.
Howard said they asked Eric if he would rather be Verified on Twitter or fondle Diana DeGarmo's boobs. Howard said that he was a fan of Diana's. Jimmy asked what the time period was. Gary said they asked the questions in 2013. Jimmy said he's going to say ''verified on Twitter.'' Howard played Eric's answer which was fondling Diana DeGarmo's boobs.
Howard said they asked if he would rather have Kelly Clarkson or Diana DeGarmo as a girlfriend. Jimmy said he's going with Diana. Howard played Eric's answer which was Kelly Clarkson.
Howard said the next thing they asked Eric was have a girl pee on him or spit in his face. Jimmy laughed and said he's having trouble hearing Eric answering that question. Robin said she's going to say the pee. Jimmy said he is too. Howard said he agrees. Howard played the answer and Eric said ''...spit in my face.'' Howard said he'd rather have pee on his chest. He said at least it's sort of sexual.
Jimmy said he has a story about going out to dinner the other night. Howard said he was shocked when he saw papparazzi out there. Jimmy said that they had very little inter table conversation. He said the girls were having their own discussion.
Jimmy said over the course of the meal he had a lot of water. Jimmy said he likes that part of dinner. He said that it's nice when they do that. Jimmy said that he didn't want to go to the bathroom after. He said their hotel was very close anyway. Howard said he could have given him a ride. Jimmy said that would have been embarrassing. Jimmy said it was fine. He said they both had to go to the bathroom. He said they figured they could make it back. Jimmy said he gets snippy with Molly and he tells her to stop talking about the pee thing. He said they were walk gin fast to get there. He said they were going to the lobby to go. He said he really had to go. Jimmy said he didn't want to run but then he ran. Jimmy said they got to the bathroom and Molly was mad at him. He said they both went in and he didn't make it. He said he peed himself. Jimmy said it's been a long time since he did that. He said he shit himself shooting a bit for the Man Show once. Howard asked if he peed himself while he was unbuckling. Jimmy said he did. He said he couldn't stop. He said he just peed a little and then got it out and peed into the toilet.
Robin asked if his pants got wet. Jimmy said he didn't notice but his pants did get wet. He said that it took Molly forever to come out. He told her he didn't make it. Jimmy said he got into the shower and he noticed his shoe laces were wet. He said it actually ran down his let.
Jimmy said when they were shooting The Man Show they did this bit where they guessed people's weight. He said that he was dressed as a carnival barker in white pants. He said that it was the first time he ever wore white pants. He said he wasn't feeling so well. He felt he had to go to the bathroom. He said they were at a theme park. He said he headed to the bathroom and then he picked up the pace. He said he figured he'd go as slow as he could. He said he had to get there quickly and he started running. He said the pants had a belt that came with them. He said that it was attached. Jimmy said he had a full explosion and he didn't get them off in time. He said he took them off and hung them up. He said he took his underwear off and threw them in the garbage. He said he put the pants back on and went up on stage and the pants were kind of see through. He said that he's a natural brunette so you can imagine what people saw.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Don Rickles is going to be on Letterman today too. Howard said that Don is going to be on and he is his hero. Howard said that's an honor. Howard said that they asked him to sit out there when Don is on. Howard said he's not sure Dave does that. Jimmy said he should do it even thoguh Dave doesn't do that.
Howard said he had a conversation with the pre-interview guy and he talked about Dave. He said he told him to just talk about that. Howard said he has no idea what he even said. He said that he will just go on and talk to Dave and maybe interview him. Jimmy said the show is about him. Howard said he saw John Travolta on the other night and John was being interviewed. He said Dave is leaving so it should be about Dave. Jimmy said Dave doesn't want to talk about himself. Howard said he was told by the producer that he can ask Dave questions. Howard said he doesn't want to be all planned out.
Mariann said that she's going to be there by 2 but when is Howard going to be there. Howard said he thinks about 4. Jimmy asked why she's going to be there so early. Mariann said she has signs and buttons and she has to be the first one there. Howard asked if she has seats. Mariann said she doesn't. Howard said that he wants her to have a seat. Mariann said she doesn't want seats. She likes seeing Howard going in. Howard said maybe Vinnie can grab her to go in and see. Mariann liked that idea. Howard said he should fuck her and put her out of her misery. Jimmy said it would be funny if Howard fucked her and she never called again. Howard said she would hate it.
Howard hung up on Mariann in the middle of a sentence. Howard said they'll finish the game after a break. Howard said he has to applaud PETA for going up to Kim Kardashian and asking her to stop wearing fur. Jimmy said he wants to see if any of them are wearing leather. Howard said he eats fish but the PETA people don't even do that. Robin asked if Jimmy wears fur. Jimmy said he does not.
Howard said they have a poll up asking who the biggest celebrity superfan is. Howard said Jimmy may lose to Natalie Maines. Howard said Alex Trebek will be in later and the guys put together a bunch of bits they've done with Jeopardy. Howard went to break a short time later.
Jimmy said that he went to see Larry David's show and it was great. He said that there was a guy who did the whole Jimmy Fallon thing with him at the play. He said Fallon gets it too and doesn't care for it. Howard said on America's Got Talent he works with Howie Mandel and some people call him Howie. He said that he gets so irritated by that because he's not a Howie. Jimmy said you put so much effort into something and people don't know your name.
Howard said he got irritated when Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer was named Howard K. stern. Howard said that they'd say ''Howard's Stern's girlfriend'' in the news and he wasn't with her. Howard said they were mistaking him for Howard K. Stern. Howard said no one has that name. Jimmy said at least he had the decency to use the K. Howard said the reporters started doing that. He said Howard K. Stern may have been embarrassed to be confused with him.
Howard got back to the Eric the Actor game. Howard said they asked Eric if he would rather be able to walk or have sex with a beautiful woman every day. Jimmy said he's going to say the sex thing. Robin agreed. Howard played Eric's answer which was ''having sex every day...'' Howard said it was nice hearing Eric's voice again.
Jimmy said it would be great if Bobo could sit his family down and tell them that the show is more important. Howard said he thinks that he's too normal for the Wack Pack. Howard said no one would pay to see him in the wild. Howard said with Bobo it's kind of like he's a little too normal. Jimmy said he doesn't like to see what the people look like. He said he likes the magic of radio. Jimmy said that he doesn't know what he looks like even though he met him at Howard's birthday party.
Jimmy said if you stick with the magic of radio then he is a Wack Packer. Howard said in Bobo's defense you could say that his messages he leaves for the haters are weird. Howard said he refers to himself as Bobo and it's just way too important to him.
Howard played some of the voicemail messages that Bobo left about how much the show means to him. Howard said Bobo's wife was sick and he didn't go to the hospital for her until the end of the show.
Jimmy said he's upset with High pitch Eric. He said he used to jerk off to him but now it's Donnie Wahlberg. He said he's upset about that.
Bobo said he has a list of things he wants Howard to do on Dave's show. Bobo said that he wants Howard to stir things up on the show and sit on Dave's desk. Howard said he has to do Jimmy's show next time he's out there. Jimmy said he doesn't hold it against him for not doing it.
Bobo told Howard to get Dave to cry. He wants him to get him in the studio to be interviewed. Howard said that won't happen. He said this is probably the last time he'll ever see Dave. Howard said he heard that Dave wanted to live in the most remote place in the world and Jack Hannah told him where that was in Montana so that's where Dave said he wanted to live. Jimmy said he thinks that Jack Hannah was on Dave's show before he was on Johnny's show.
Gary came in with an article about what Jack Hannah told Dave about Montana. Howard said that if you live out there then it's more likely for someone to break in. Howard said if they learn where he lives then there's no one else around to see them breaking in.
Howard said he's sick of that fucking Montana. Gary said Dave likes to have people out there from time to time. Howard said Dave should live in the International Space Station. Howard said that Dave should be a goat herder or something. Gary said Dave rides his horse in a parade every year too. Howard said that's funny. He said he won't do anything else but he will ride the horse in a parade. Jimmy said he thinks Howard has his appearance set for today. He said Rickles will be pissed if he gets bumped. Howard said he's furious now. He said he doesn't get why Dave wants to be alone in Montana but then he rides in a parade which is the most embarrassing thing he can do.
Bobo told Howard not to give in and do a pre-interview for Dave. Howard said he already did that. Bobo also said he should have a farewell dance with Dave. Howard hung up on him after that. He said he was so annoying. Howard said he loves Bobo. They played him out with a theme song.
Howard said he agrees that he is the luckiest man in the world. Benjy said that he fucked up. He said that she's the most talented person he ever met. Jimmy laughed. Jimmy told him he has to meet more people. Benjy said that she did very well on Jimmy's show years ago. Jimmy didn't even know she was there. Benjy said she was in a band that performed on his show.
Benjy said he feels dead and horrible. Robin said he did love the girl. Benjy said he knows it's interesting but he's not sure how to express it. Howard said he has been expressing it. Howard said he thinks he should have been more private about his relationship. He said he's glad he wasn't because it was good for the show. Howard said that Jimmy isn't aware of it. Howard asked if he would like to have a private conversation with Jimmy. Benjy said he would do that. Jimmy said he is upset for Benjy. Howard said he is too. Jimmy said the attempts being made to humiliate him are unconscionable. Benjy said it hurts. He said he loved her very much and he feels that it's from sickness that it happened. Jimmy said he doesn't know what that means. Benjy said that people can do things that hurt so much.
Howard asked Fred what Ronnie would say. Fred did his Ronnie voice and told Benjy to get out there and get some tuna sushi. He had Jimmy cracking up.
Howard asked Benjy if he has gotten any sushi since he broke up. Benjy said he has dated a little bit. He said he's looking at life differently too. He said he's focusing more on life and not so much on sushi. Jimmy said this is such a mess.
Jimmy asked if he's still paying for her. Benjy said he bought all of the rights for her music before April 15, 2015. He said that cost him the rent for a month. Jimmy said that is diabolical in a way. Benjy said he got that for $200. Howard said that's like Michael Jackson buying the Beatles. Benjy said he has complete distribution rights for whatever she makes too. He got something in return for paying her rent. Jimmy asked if he has control over whatever she makes now. Benjy said technically he can have veto on things.
Howard asked if they still talk. Benjy said they don't talk. He said the last time they did was for the contract thing. Benjy said he still thinks she's the most talented person he's ever met. He said that Howard and the guys are talented too of course. Benjy asked Jimmy who he finds talented. Jimmy said maybe Stevie Wonder.
Howard said that James Taylor will be there tomorrow. Howard asked who is more talented, James Taylor or Elisa. Benjy said they are on a similar level. Howard asked if Jimmy or Elisa is more talented. Benjy said that Jimmy is much more successful. He said from what he sees he's a good comedian. Howard asked him to just answer. Benjy said Elisa. He said he hasn't been exposed to that much of his stuff.
Benjy said he thinks that Elisa's brain is more superior to his. Jimmy said he can tell from watching that show of her's. Jimmy said that Stuttering John really got it on that show. He said that she was reading texts that he sent her and stuff like that.
Howard played a song parody with Asian Pete singing about something. Jimmy was cracking up. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Alex Trebek is in the green room. Howard said he's his hero. Jimmy said he's happy to be sitting in the Artie/Jackie chair. Howard said he has to gaze upon Alex. Alex came in and Howard said he's his hero. Howard said he has to tell him why. Howard said the reason is that as a little boy he wanted to be a game show host. Howard said that's what he wanted to be. Howard said Alex is the epitome of game show hosts. Howard said he was a radio guy. Alex said he was. He never took any elocution lessons or anything. Howard asked what his parents were. Alex said his dad was Ukrainian and he didn't speak English very well or French.
Howard asked what he wanted to be. Alex said he had three ambitions. He said he wanted to be a pilot or a doctor or the prime minister of Canada. He said he didn't make it to any of these. Howard said that Alex got into a lot of trouble in boarding school. Alex said he was sort of rebellious. He said they were going to throw him out at Easter break. He said his parents had just broken up and he was confused about life. He said he was a little older than 12 at the time. He said he started fighting authority. He said one of the priests at the school was an SOB. He said that there were 44 priests and this was the only one who he took a dislike to. He said the guy was a smart ass. He said he'd try to tag him with everything that went wrong even if he didn't do it. Alex said he went there years later and the guy told the other kids that he had white hair because of him. He said he liked that.
Howard asked if Alex was a valedictorian in school. Alex said he was not. He said he really doesn't know much about pop culture these days.
Howard asked if the worst experience was going back and begging to be able to stay in school. Alex said that they took him back on probation and it was thanks to one priest. He said that second chances are very important in life. He said it's a lot like a second marriage. Howard said Alex has been through that too. Howard said he says he learned a lot from that. Alex said he learned not to be worried about being with a powerful, intelligent woman. Alex said he is very proud that he's never been a male chauvinist. Howard asked if he picked his first wife based on looks. Alex said he picked her on the basis of her brain but she was very good looking. He said his current wife is very beautiful too.
Howard said Bob Barker has done a lot of good in his life. Howard said he used to have this move where he'd have women reach into his pocket for cash. Howard said he used to be his favorite game show host until that. Jimmy said that he probably just wanted them to feel his dick. Howard said Alex isn't like that at all. He treats everyone the same. Alex said that he used to answer all of the letters they got personally. He said that one of the letters said he was a male chauvinist. He said the next letter was about how he treats men like crap on the show. They were back to back.
Alex said that Jeopardy stated out with a lot of men. He said the women started getting on and they eventually outnumbered the men on the show. Howard said women were treated as second best to men but now they're coming out and showing what they can do. Alex said they have contestant searches around the country and a lot of African American's won't come out for it. He said they must be afraid of embarrassing themselves. He said that's what happens with celebrities too. Howard said that can stay with you. He said if you look idiotic then people think you're not that bright. Alex said that he tries to tell everyone that on a different day with different categories you could win the show. He said Robin knows that because she's been on 3 times. He said someone asked him in the elevator if anyone will ever beat Ken Jennings record. He said no because he won 74 shows. Howard said that guy is good under pressure.
Alex said Howard thinks very quickly on his own program. He said that Jimmy does the same on his. He said people are in awe of them. Howard asked Alex if he thinks that the breed of game show hosts has died off. Howard said Alex pays attention to the way he speaks and he has a quality to his voice. Howard said now when he tunes in it's kind of become like the people aren't that eloquent. He said they used to have class and dress a certain way. Alex said he thinks to a certain extent he's right. He said there is a new show coming out this summer called ''500 Questions'' and the host is British and he speaks very differently. He said it's going to be different than what they see now.
Howard said he hated Richard Dawson as a game show host. He said he likes so many others but Richard Dawson changed the tide. Howard said Alex never kissed the contestants or anything. Alex said he never wanted to be introduced as the star of the show. He said the star of the show is the game and the contestants. He said that he doesn't want to be the center of attention. He said he wants everyone to think he's friendly and he wants them to win. He said it's worked for him for the past 31 years on this particular show.
Howard asked Alex about shaving his moustache off. He said it was disconcerting to him and to Jimmy too. Jimmy said he cried. Howard said that was in 2001. Howard said that he must have thought it wasn't a big deal. Howard asked if he went to the producers of the show. Alex said he was in the make up room that day and they were about to film the fifth show. He said he wanted to shave his moustache and he shaved half of it off. Then a producer came over and said ''Oh god.'' He asked if he wanted him to come out with just half. He said that half the people in the audience didn't notice immediately. He said he went home and his family didn't notice immediately. He asked if they noticed anything differently about Dad. He said his wife noticed. Alex said his 10 year old son started to cry.
Howard said he had a moustache and he noticed that it can affect the way you speak. He said with Alex it worked thoguh. Jimmy said he filed a class action lawsuit when he shaved it off. Alex said it's interesting about moustaches because Burt Reynolds had one in a movie and then in the next one he didn't have one. He said you'd have to be a really big fan to know when he did and didn't have one. Howard said he could have brought back the Hitler moustache. Alex said that people still ask him about it on the show. He said they ask when he's going to being it back. Howard said it was comforting to him.
Howard said that Jeopardy came about after the big game show controversy and Merv Griffin's wife came up with the idea to give the answers instead of asking questions.
Howard said that Alex hosted a show called Wizard of Odds with Alan Thicke. Howard asked if he's still close to him. Alex said he is.
Howard asked why Alex became a game show host instead of becoming a doctor. Alex said that he needed a job to pay for his schooling. He said they hired him at the CBC and he went to work and to school every day. Howard asked if he was ever told he sounds like a radio announcer. Alex said that he did well in public speaking in school. He said that he went to an audition for the CBC and they said he was good but he didn't have any experience so they passed on him.
Howard asked if he does impressions. Alex said he doesn't. Howard said he thought he did that during warm up on Jeopardy. Alex said he talks to the audience during the breaks but that's about it.
Howard said that it's amazing that he went in and did the CBC thing and then got on Wizard of Odds. He said he moved on to High Rollers after that. He said that he has been canceled twice and replaced himself twice on TV so it worked out for him.
Howard said the game is the star of the show. Howard said that even with Jeopardy he must have to negotiate. Alex said there is no negotiating. He said he is well paid so he doesn't have to negotiate. He said that he was called to do Jeopardy when they were bringing it back. He said they only wanted to pay him half of what he was making on another show. He said that he asked to be a producer and they combined that to make up what he was making on the other show. He said after 3 years he was making almost as much as he was making on the other show.
Howard asked what show is the hardest to host. Alex said that Jeopardy is a material driven show and it's tough. He said that he goes over all of the answers every day to make sure he gets the pronunciations right and things like that. He said one day he switched with Pat Sajak to do Wheel of Fortune for April Fools. He said he thought hosting Wheel was tricky and Pat found hosting Jeopardy was hard. Howard said if you screw it up you feel like an idiot. Howard said he has done game shows there on the air and it's tough. He said he has screwed them up. Alex said that you never take yourself seriously. He said you take the game seriously but not yourself. Alex said if people like you they'll forgive a lot.
Jimmy asked if it's less forgiving up in Canada. Alex said yes. He said that if you screw up there then people will resign immediately. Jimmy brought up Rob Ford but they didn't get into that too much.
Howard asked Alex about Brian Williams and if he thinks that he should be put back on. Alex said if the public loses confidence with you in that one spot it's going to be tough. Howard said he read that Alex is the 8th most trusted man in America. Alex said that Melinda and Bill Gates are right in front and in back of him on that list. Robin said they should put Alex on the news.
Howard asked if Alex ever wanted to be an anchorman. Alex said he did. He said that's the job people want. Howard said he heard he makes about 10 million a year. Howard said he starts off the day drinking alcohol. True or false. Alex said that is false. He said he jokes about drinking. Alex said that he drinks a diet Pepsi and a Milky Way for breakfast. Howard said he has to be kidding. Alex said he's not. He said he has good genes. He said his mother is 94 and he's going to be 75 this summer. Howard said that's great. Alex said that Howard has a couple of old timers to talk to today. He said he's talking to him now and David Letterman later.
Howard asked Alex if he notices his age now. Alex said that you do falter more now than you do in the past. He said he makes mistakes now and someone has to tell him that he messed up. He said that he doesn't even know that he changed a word. Howard said that he knows he has great pride in all of that. Howard said he has carried it off with great dignity. Howard said he will know when it's time to go out.
Howard asked if he had any wild years after his divorce. Alex said he didn't. He said he had his wild years when he was young. He said when he was in boarding school he had drinking things. Howard asked if he has smoked marijuana. Alex said he did smoke it when he had arthritis in his shoulders. He said that didn't work. He said he tried cocaine once when he moved to California. He said it was at a party and his accountant told him to try it. He said it burned his nose and it didn't do anything for him. He said he tried hash brownies at another party. He said that he didn't know the people. He said he ate like 4-5 brownies and he didn't leave their house until the following Monday morning for a Friday party. He said that he didn't wake up at all on Saturday.
Howard said he remembers hearing stories about parties like that where they don't tell you about what they put in the food.
Howard asked what he does for hobbies. Alex said he likes ding things around the house and he likes fixing things.
Howard asked what his IQ is. Alex said he had it tested years ago but it wasn't in the genius level. He said he doesn't remember exactly what it was but it wasn't genius. Howard asked if he's upset he passed on Dancing with the Stars. Alex said he was asked to compete on the show. He wasn't asked to host. He said that he blew out his knee years ago so he didn't want to do it. Howard asked how he would do on Jeopardy if he was on. Alex said his skills and reflexes aren't as good as they were. He said he can't recall things like he used to be able to. He said he has those senior moments.
Howard said he says that he would have loved to have hosted Hollywood Squares. Alex said he did a show called Battle Stars sand they had 6 triangles instead of 9 squares. He said what could be better than asking a celebrity a question and responding to the funny responses.
Howard said game show host is such a rarefied thing. He said that most game shows don't have a long shelf life. He said even Who Wants to be a Millionaire was burned out. Howard said Jeopardy has had such a long run. Alex said it's been on 31 years. He said they have had over 400 game shows come and go while they've been on. Howard said if he hadn't taken Jeopardy then who knows what would have happened. Alex said that stuff is cyclical. He said that if game shows aren't in for a while then you're going to be unemployed.
Howard asked who is the best game show host, bob Barker or Pat Sajak. Alex said that is a tie. He said they both have their strong points. He said you can't pick the best. Howard said there is no real answer.
Howard asked who should replace him when he retires. Alex said he has no idea but they're not going to consult him either. He said that Sony owns the game now. Howard said they must have collected more money than any movie that has ever been made. Alex said he thinks Wheel of Fortune has made more. He said it's probably a lot of money maybe in the billions. Alex said just the royalties on the Jeopardy Theme song were over $80 million. Howard said that's why everyone tries to develop a game show. Howard said Merv Griffin was great at that. Howard said it's too bad he was closeted for as long as he was. Howard asked if he knew. Alex said he did hang out with Merv. He said he had a yacht that he had parked in a special place.
Jimmy asked if Alex was worried that he'd get caught up in the Sony hack thing. Alex said there was some email leaked about who might replace him. He said that his own email was also leaked but those were the only times he heard about his name being mentioned.
Howard said that Merv must have sold those games for a fortune. Alex said he sold them for $250 million but he was still getting money for the music and for being the creator of the show. Howard said that Alex came in and started doing the show and it turned into a nice annuity for him. Alex said it really is a nice one. He said that it's good for the champions from the show too. He said that they have a man who has won over $3 million and he wants to be a host too.
Jimmy brought up how they gave away a treadmill to a woman in a wheelchair on The Price is Right. Jimmy said they had her on his show.
Howard said that in the 80s Alex was doing 3 game shows at the same time. He was doing To Tell the Truth and Jeopardy. Alex said that he got to sit down for one of the shows.
Alex said he was robbed once in his hotel room. He said that he walked in seeing that his cash was gone. He said he put his pants on after seeing this woman walking down the hall. He said that he went after her asking what she was doing in his room. He said she took off running so he ran after her. He said he ended up snapping his Achilles tendon. He said she got away from him but then the phone rang and security called. He said she kept denying she was in there. He said that she's doing 6 years in prison now. He said she looked like she'd had a very hard life. Alex said that they took him down to see her in the police car and his wife saw her saying that she looked like she'd had a hard life.
Howard asked how she got into his room. Alex said that his wife let the door close slowly and it didn't close all the way. He said that he is a light sleeper and he saw a figure walking by while he was sleeping. He said he turned over and his wife was sleeping. He said that it all worked out in the end.
Gary came in and said that Mr. Trebek has to leave. Howard said they have a celebrity Jeopardy going on this week. He got in a plug for that and then took a call from Ralph who asked why so many people zero out in the game instead of leaving a dollar. Howard said he's right. Howard said his father watches the show and he gets upset when people don't know how to bet. Alex said the one dollar thing started when people realized that people were going to bet it all. Alex said that those things can drive you nuts. He said people jump all over the board too and that makes him crazy too. Howard said it drives him nuts.
Howard told Ralph to get off the phone. Ralph said one time they all zeroed out and there was no winner. Howard asked if he loves the SCTV parody they did of him years ago. Alex said he did love that. He said that they had such great people on that show. Howard said they have the link up on HowardStern.com
Howard asked Alex where he has to go now. Alex said he is going to be going up to Hamilton Heights. He said his son will be opening a Mexican restaurant up there in a few weeks. He said he's going to check out construction. He said he's an investor. Howard said he hopes his investment works out. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard said that he got a new chair and it's working. Robin said there's an article in the paper today about how that chair should be in the Smithsonian. Howard said it really should. Howard said he thinks he'd be honored. He said he's not sure he'd want it there though. Jimmy said he'd put the Gary Puppet in the chair as a bonus. Howard said he'd just sneak it in there.
Howard said he has Elisa Jordana on the phone and she wants to rebut being called untalented. Howard asked if he should have her on the air or not. Benjy said that it's fine if she wants to call. Howard said he doesn't know what to do. He said he's on Benjy's side. Howard said he likes him and he works with him every day. Howard said he has put this on the air. He said he has to check with him.
Howard let Elisa on the air. Howard said she has hurt Benjy and a lot of them are upset about that. Elisa said she feels weird because she can't call Benjy anymore. She said she felt so proud of him for something he did the other day. She said she couldn't call him. She said he's become a whole new person. She said that he's doing this stuff now that they broke up.
Elisa said that she thinks that Howard and Jimmy were laughing at her and making fun of her. Howard said that they were laughing at Benjy for thinking she's as talented as James Taylor. Elisa said why can't she be as talented. Howard said that no one said she wasn't talented. She said she thought for sure that they did say that. Howard said that no one said she wasn't talented.
Howard said that Benjy was comparing her to the most talented people in the world. Howard said that it's a grandiose statement. Howard said that he thinks his wife is the greatest person in the world but he knows people are going to say ''Howard, really?'' Howard said that you have to have some awareness. Howard said it's ridiculous that she thinks that they're bad mouthing her. Howard said that she is talented and Jimmy thinks she is too. Jimmy said he doesn't know about that. Howard said Jimmy thinks she's talented and Benjy thinks she's the most talented.
Elisa asked Jimmy what he didn't like about Kermit and Friends. Jimmy said that she has relationships with people just to hurt Benjy. He said that she's rubbing it in Benjy's face too. She said she feels bad about that. Jimmy said the stuff with Stuttering John was rough too. She read the private messages that they sent. Jimmy said he curses himself for wasting as much of his life as he did with that.
Jimmy said she made an hour long bit out of this thing and it wasn't right for doing what she did. Elisa said that Mark is her friend and John made fun of her. Howard said that he used to think that Jimmy was really busy but he's busy with the show.
Elisa said she thought Howard was her friend. Howard said she is talented and she has worked for him. Jimmy told her that she has to think about the definition of ''friend''. Elisa said that she wants to know who the favorite character on her show is. Jimmy said he only saw it once. Howard cut him off and said that he wanted some closure on this whole thing. Howard thanked Elisa for the call. Elisa said she loves Howard and she loves Benjy. Jimmy told Benjy not to say that back to her. Benjy said he has been hurt but he has loved her very much. He said he thought they were going to be together for a long time but that didn't happen.
Howard asked if they had anything to say to each other. Elisa said that she thinks Benjy is doing great without her. Benjy joked that it was the best call they've ever had on the show.
Howard said Jimmy gave Benjy some good advice to move on. Benjy said he has moved on. Howard asked if this is over now. Benjy said he has a new focus in life and she's out of his life. Jimmy said he's happy to hear that. He said they should go their separate ways. He said he's basing it on the last 4 years of the show.
Howard said he has advice too. Howard told Benjy that he should make his focus this show. Jimmy laughed. Howard said he's the only one paying anyone. Howard said that
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw James Taylor last week. He said that he played a brand new song live. He said even to say why not be as talented is insane.
Ralph called in again and said he can't follow this. He said the only person who seems to care is Jimmy. Howard said he wanted to get closure too. Ralph said that they're in love with each other and they don't care about all of this other bullshit.
Howard said he forgot to tell Mariann that he can't get her into Letterman. Howard said the seats are all taken. Howard said that he should bring Jimmy over there. Jimmy said he's not sure they'd let him in. Howard asked what Dave is going to do for his last show. Howard said Dave said that if he cries then he has failed. Howard said he wants a light happy show.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked if a female guest has ever given Jimmy a boner. Jimmy said that Charro was on the show once and it was a weird thing. He said that they did a bit where she was dancing around him and he kind of got a boner. Howard said she must have been in her 70s. Jimmy said she might be in her 80s now.
Howard said he has to play something before the news. Howard said one of the fans called a radio show and tried to get a phony birth announcement on. Howard said they tried to get on a Cole Ostomy. Howard said this group was so happy they figured out the name. Howard played the clip and the hosts said they figured out the joke. They said that it wasn't their first time at the rodeo. Then they read another one which was Bea Shermeat and the hosts didn't get that one. Howard said that they did get Bea Shermeat on. Howard said that was Sal and Richard who sent those in.
Jimmy said he loved it when Robin admitted she sucked her own boobs. He said he knew it was going to lead to a lot of song parodies. Howard said he's all backed up with songs. He played a couple of parodies that came in from Chris Wilding and a guy named Jesse.
Robin read a story about how the 15th season of American Idol will be its last. Robin said it's ending after next season. Howard said they still have high ratings. Howard said he's not sure why they'd end it. Jimmy said he's glad Eric isn't around to see this. That led to Howard playing more of the Eric the Actor This or That game. Howard said they asked if he'd rather walk or be a millionaire. Eric said Walk. Howard said they asked if he would rather be an Ewok or play a Munchkin. Eric picked Ewok. Howard said they asked Eric would rather fly with balloons or go into the homo room. Eric picked flying with balloons. Howard said they asked Eric ''Jews or Blacks?'' Jimmy said he thinks he'll go with the blacks. Robin did too. Eric said ''Oh boy... Jewish people.'' Howard said they asked if he would give $10,000 to little people or go to the Bunny Ranch. Eric said he would go to the Bunny Ranch. Howard said he has one last one. He asked if he would rather be raped by John Cena or Ray Mysterio. Jimmy picked John. Robin went with Mysterio. Eric said he would rather be anally raped by Ray Mysterio. Howard said he thinks Ray may have had some interaction with Eric. Howard said they asked Eric if he would rather hump his mattress or use his hand on himself. Jimmy said mattress. Eric went with his hand.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who has been missing for a few weeks. Howard asked what he had to say. King said that he's on vacation. He asked if they think Letterman was pushed out or does he want to leave. Howard said he thinks he was pushed. Jimmy said he thinks he wants to leave. King said when you're white in your eye brows then it's time to retire. King said that Jimmy has black eyebrows. King asked if he has ever had sex with a black woman before. Jimmy said no. King laughed. Howard asked if that bothers Jimmy. Jimmy said he hasn't had sex with that many women. Howard said Jimmy is a good guy. Jimmy said he likes black women. He said one of his favorites on Game of Thrones is the Khaleesi's assistant. Howard asked if he would ever put Molly in black face and have sex with her. Jimmy said probably not.
Howard said he has some friends who are very sexual around Beth and Jimmy isn't like that. He said he has respect for women. Howard said that he really does like women. King asked what kind of wild things he does with his wife. Jimmy laughed again and said that he does whatever Ronnie tells him to do. King said that if you do oral too long then the web under your tongue hurts. Jimmy said maybe King is pressing too hard.
King asked if Ronnie has white in his eyebrows. Howard said Ronnie dyes it all. King said that George Clooney has white in his eyebrows too. King told Jimmy to have sex with a black woman before he dies. Howard let him go and did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said he has such a long day today. He said that he wanted to work out but he may not have time. Howard said he will go back to his office and meditate for 10-15 minutes. He said then he'll do shit and obsess over going on Dave's show. Howard said he doesn't know what else to do. Howard said he will go home after the show but then he has to go back to Letterman. Jimmy said he should go to Letterman at 1 and beat Mariann there. Howard said that he shouldn't care so much about the whole thing. Howard said he shouldn't have said yes to going to Letterman. He said that he doesn't want to be bothered if he doesn't do well. Howard said Alex Trebek was a cocksman. He was married to a Playboy bunny. Robin said he did coke and pot too.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who asked Jimmy if he should be in the Wack Pack. Jimmy said he does. Janks thanked him for that. Howard said he is a loyal fan but he's not in the Wack Pack. Jimmy said he is wacky. He said that the gay thing as a curve ball after 25 years in. Robin said it's a group of people like Wendy the Slow Adult and Gary the Conqueror. Howard said Janks is too normal. Jimmy said he went to jail. Howard said he should have had him in for the argument. Howard said he has a much stricter thing. Jimmy said you need different types of people. He said that Janks is his Iron Man or Captain America. Howard said that he's going to think about it. Janks thanked Jimmy for the help.
Howard said Ham Hands Bill is in it for sure. He picked up on him and Bill thanked Jimmy for mentioning his name at the Birthday Bash. He asked if he ever had sex with Sarah in the bathroom at work. Jimmy said no. Howard said that he did not.
Robin got back to American Idol and read more about their problems with the ratings. They were having trouble getting 10 million viewers so they're going to put an end to it. Robin said that The Last Man on Earth is renewed and so is Gotham. Howard said he likes those shows. Robin said the X-Files are coming back too. Robin and Howard didn't care about that. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Jimmy wondered what happened to Hanzi. Howard said he was hired by Seth Meyers so he's out of luck.
Robin asked Howard about manicuring and things like that. Howard said that he would like to get that done but he tried it once and had a woman over to his place. She saw his house and doubled her prices. Howard said he told her to get out. Robin said they say that the nail salons are having trouble with chemicals and things and the governor of New York is trying to change things to save these women. Howard said he's glad he doesn't go to a salon. Robin said it's the women who work there that have the problems.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Artie impression. That led to Jimmy saying that he just got his answer to who the most talented person in the world is. It's Sour Shoes. Sour did more of his Artie impression and talked sports with Jimmy for a short time. He was telling jokes and had Howard and Jimmy laughing. Howard asked to talk to Mad Dog so Sour went into that impression too. Howard asked to talk to Artie again. Sour went right back into his Artie impression for a few seconds before Howard let him go.
Robin read about how Tom Brady will be suspended this week but they're not sure for how long yet. Howard and Jimmy talked about that for a short time. Howard said Mad Dog was talking about Tom Brady on his show and he sounded like he was going to have a heart attack. Howard played some audio of the real Mad Dog Russo yelling on his show. They spent a few minutes talking about the Tom Brady deflated football thing.
Robin read a story about Pete Rose returning to baseball to talk about the game on a FOX Sports show. The guys talked about how they think he belongs in the hall of fame.
Robin read a story about a man who made a statement during a graduation ceremony. Robin said that there is video of this. Howard said the principal screwed up the agenda and people started to leave. The Valedictorian hadn't spoken yet and she asked people to sit down but people kept leaving. Then she said this.... Howard played the clip of the principal saying that they were the rudest people she's ever seen. She said it was her fault that they missed it in the program. Then she said ''Look who's leaving, all of the black people...'' Howard asked how you can be a principal and say that. Robin read about how she sent out an apology for what she said. She blamed the devil for being in the house and that's why it came out of her mouth.
Howard asked Jimmy if he's off all week. Jimmy said he goes back to work on Wednesday.
Robin read about Prince having his rally for peace in Baltimore last night. Robin had some audio of Prince's new song.
Robin read about how the Baltimore Orioles will be back in Baltimore this week. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Howard said that Jimmy asked to walk out with Manny Pacquiao at the fight a couple of weeks back. Jimmy said he jokingly asked to do that on his show but they took it seriously. Jimmy told Howard about how that all went down. He said there were police who came in and said they had to clear the room. He said they only wanted his people in there so everyone shuffled out. Jimmy said he wasn't sure if he was in the camp or not. He said they kicked the guy who carries the water bucket out to keep him in there. Jimmy said a half hour before the fight he was basically alone with Manny. He said he didn't want to distract him but he was relaxed and joking around. He said it was really strange. Jimmy said the fight was much better in person than people made it out to be. He said he had his son there with him and Dave Chappelle was there with Bradley Cooper in front of them. He said he had Rupert Murdoch there too. He said Dax Shepard was there too. Howard said people were surprised that he walked out with Manny. Jimmy said it was wild. He said that it was too much for him to be there with him. He said that Manny asked for him to be right behind him so he got up there. He said it was crazy. People were screaming. He said they told him to go into the ring too. He said he got out of the ring but they told him to get back in there. He said it was bizarre. The other strange thing was that in the 12th round they took all of the celebrities out a special exit. Jimmy said he stuck around for the end of the fight though.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about someone who is claiming that President Obama didn't tell the truth about Osama Bin Laden. The guy is claiming that the Pakistani government was in on the killing. Howard said that would make him feel better about the Pakistan government. Howard said that we don't know if they're out allies or enemy.
Howard had Sour Shoes back on the phone again doing his Gary voice but just for a few seconds. Howard let him go when he broke into his Mad Dog Russo again.
Robin read a story about Saudi Arabia's king skipping some summit. Robin said that they're concerned about the treaties between the U.S. and Iran.
Howard took a call from a guy, Mankind, who wanted to thank Jimmy for something. Jimmy wasn't sure what the thanks was for. Howard said it had to do with Benjy.
Robin read a story about how the Boston bomber case could wrap up today. Howard said he wants that guy dead. Howard said he can't believe there are women out there who would sleep with that guy over him.
Robin read about how the Age of Ultron movie is doing at the box office. Robin said it should eclipse Furious 7. Howard said he almost went to see this weekend but he stayed home drawing pictures instead. Robin said they've made over $865 million already and it hasn't opened in China or Japan yet. Robin read about some of the other movies that were in the top 5 like Hot Pursuit with Sofia Vergara which came in at number 2. Robin said Ex Machina is doing well for an independent film too. Howard said that's really good. Jimmy wondered if Ronnie would have sex with a robot. Fred did his Ronnie voice and talked about what that would be like. Robin read about Paul Blart making $58.1 million at the box office. Fred was still doing his Ronnie voice and talking about all of that.
Robin read a story about a celebrity and a corporation that are trying to raise awareness for Atrial fibrillation. Robin said Howie Mandel has gotten involved. Robin said that he has an irregular heart beat. Robin had some audio of Howie talking about that. They ended the show shortly after that. They were done around 11:25am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon said he wants to give Jimmy props for raising the Benjy and Elisa issue. He said they got some closure on that today. Jon also asked Rahsaan what they have in the poll today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''What's the Most Ridiculous Claim Made on the Show Recently?''
Jon said that Hanzi never called back in with jokes. He said he shut up instead of put up. Lisa said she's sick and tired of all of that. She said when she did her first HBO special she made jokes about her being more funny than people. She said that she knows she's a D-level celebrity or whatever. She said she's on the Wrap Up Show. Lisa said that Elisa has too much in her and no talent in her. Jon said that Benjy is saying that she is the most talented person with Jimmy and Howard sitting across from him. Jon said that they have to be honest there and she's not in the same area. Lisa said Fred and Robin are huge and this was a huge dishonoring to Howard. She said that Howard put him where he is.
Jon said when things were going well Benjy had no problem talking about this. Now that this is going on he'd rather not talk about it. He said if he hadn't brought all of this up in the past then it would be fine. He said you can't bring it up and then stop talking about it when things aren't going the way you want. Jon said he thinks they got a clue as to what's really going on. He said good for Benjy buying her publishing rights too.
Lisa called Elisa an untalented cunt a couple of times. She said she's sorry she woke up too early this morning. She said tomorrow she'll get more sleep. They went to break after that.
Lisa said he knew when to say things and when to let Howard do his thing. She said that he's a great sidekick for Howard.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she was so happy when Jimmy said that Elisa has no talent. She said that she was a singer 4 years ago but now she's not. She said she's really horrible. Jon said he doesn't think she's untalented. He said that she was in a band called Cobra Starship. He said she charmed Benjy and there must be something there. He said his problem is when you compare her talent to people like Howard and Jimmy and other people. Lisa said that she thinks the thing in show business is to know your place. She said that you're not entitled to success because you're hot or have a little talent. She said you don't put yourself in a category that you're not in. She said that if she had said that she was semi-talented and just said she wanted to keep trying then people will like you and will want to see you. She said we don't want to pay money to see you and it's not great to do to people what she's doing.
Jon said if you are on stage you know you have some talent. Lisa said she knows she's funny and we all know our pecking order. She said that there is one level like Roseanne and Seinfeld and then there's people like her and Jim Florentine and people like that who don't have a big TV presence yet. She said she doesn't like people like Elisa who think they belong where they don't belong.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard cut off the Stuttering John thing during that discussion. Jon said not at all. He said he didn't think he cut it off. The caller said that it seemed like it was. He said we're all just stuck in the Benjy vortex.
Jon said he's right. He said they've spent the first 10 minutes talking about that. Lisa said that's what makes her sick. She said Alex Trebek came in and the show was hijacked by two co-dependant idiots who need to figure themselves out and move on. She said that they're spending time on them instead of Alex Trebek.
Jon said he couldn't believe that Alex was in there. Jon said he thinks he's one of the smartest guys in the world but they learned how he got to where he is. He said he is just one of those quintessential game show hosts. He said he came off really well with Howard. He said he answered every question too. He said that he answered every question that Howard asked too. Jon said he loves when guests are up front and honest like that. Lisa said that he's not corny like so many game show hosts are. She said that he was also married to a playboy bunny and she had no idea about that. She said she loved when he threw in a ''dickweed'' during the discussion too. Jon said that was a highlight too.
Jon said Howard would like to be a game show host and he was talking to one of the best. Jon said he does come off kind of pompous on Jeopardy but then they heard him today and it humanized him a little bit.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he liked Alex today. He said he thinks he sounds like a dick on TV though. He said he acts like he knew the answer the whole time. Jon said he never said he sounds like a dick but he does have all of the answers in front of him. He said he can sound a little condescending. Jon said he's also going to be 75 years old this summer.
Gary came in and said that he and Fred used to watch Jeopardy together after work. Jon said he used to watch it all the time too. Jon said he loved Alex because he was answering every question. Gary said he was funny and cool but then he was also like the guy on the show. Lisa said she's been a clue on the show twice and the people got it wrong both times.
Lisa asked how hard it was to get him on the show. Gary said it was actually pretty easy. He said he asked his booking guy and he set it up because Alex was going to be in town this week. They went to break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he had some comments before asking a question. He asked Gary to get Howard to talk about why Van Halen is mad at him. Gary said that he's not sure they know why that is. The caller said that Howard was about to talk about it but he got distracted. The caller said that Jimmy was great today and he wishes they could do more of that. Gary said Howard may not be looking for that. He said Howard and Jimmy have a different relationship. The caller said it only happens like once a year for Jimmy but maybe other people could do it. Jon said it is great because Seth Rogen did that once. He said that he stuck around for a second segment.
Gary said Sam Kinison would do that but he'd just not leave. The caller said maybe the guest could stick around like they do on the Tonight Show. Gary said most people expect to have a one on one with Howard. Lisa said George Takei sits in sometimes and he knows when to drop something in or not.
The caller asked Gary about that one guest that he really wanted to book. Gary said he hasn't booked that person yet.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if there was ever any discussion about putting Alex up against Fred in Win Fred's Money. Gary said no. He said that he talked about how he's not that quick with his answers. Jon said they know he's a bright guy. He said that no one can play that game better than Alex can. He said that he talked about how he doesn't know pop culture and things like that. He said Fred is tough to beat too.
Gary said you'd think that Alex would be super smart if he's retaining all of that information. The caller said that's what he was thinking.
Jon said that Lisa has calmed down a bit. Lisa asked if she was right about the Seinfeld thing being a dick move. Jon said when he heard it then it was worse than when he read it on paper. Lisa said Seinfeld never should have commented on it. She said he can write another observational joke... douche.
Jon asked Gary about the Benjy and Elisa thing. Gary said Howard was taking it easy on Benjy. He said years ago Howard didn't take it easy on him. Lisa said Benjy is getting the more evolved Howard too. She said that he should have said don't take the call. Gary said they called his ex-girlfriend on the show years ago and that's what he did for the show. He said it's a very dysfunctional thing. Lisa said that you have to change your phone name to ''pain'' or ''dick pic'' to remind you of what they did to hurt you. She said that a guy she used to date was sending dick pics to someone else so that's how she reminds herself.
Jon said his problem with Benjy is the hypocrisy of the whole thing. Gary said Benjy never tells the whole story about something. He said that Benjy said that Elisa was on Jimmy's show with Cobra Starship and he must mumbled it instead of telling him clearly that she was in a band that played on his show.
Jon said the question they asked was ''What's the Most Ridiculous Claim Made on the Show Recently?'' Gary said it was weird that Benjy said she's the most talented person he's ever met. Gary said he's met a lot of other talented people. Jon asked Rahsaan what the results were. Rahsaan said that Benjy thinking Elisa is as talented as James Taylor got 77 percent of the vote. Gary said that whole claim was insane.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology. He also got in a plug for Lisa Lampanelli who has a stand up special ''Back to the Drawing Board'' coming in June on Epix. They wrapped up and ended the show around 12:05pm.
Howard started the show talking about his day of doing the David Letterman show he wants to go to the phones. Howard said he heard that the phones are down though. He said he doesn't know why he bothers coming in anymore. He said they have no phones coming in or out. He said they say it's not a Sirius problem but a phone company problem. He said his phone at home is never out so he's wondering what the deal is. Howard said they have a radio show where they talk to the audience. Howard said it's about the phone trunk and he never hears anyone else having these problems. Howard said that this show is important.
Howard said the computers are tied in with the phones so he has a dead computer screen. He said two screens are dead. He said that it's all set up wrong. Howard said he could do a podcast better. Howard was trying to fix something. He said he's not sure how he's supposed to see anything. He said he has to see this computer during the show. They changed things on him. He said this is what he goes through.
Howard asked what a trunk is. Scott the Engineer was in and told him that's the circuit that has the lines coming into the building. Howard asked why they never have problems at their homes. Scott said they're different with residential and business.
Howard asked why Will changed something. They didn't know. Howard said he's barely able to get in there and when he does, nothing works. Howard he wants to know what Sirius is doing. Howard said they're busy having dinner with Bruce Springsteen. Howard said they need to get the phones working. Howard said they have to pay off someone at the phone company. Howard said they use the audience as their eyes and ears out on the street.
Howard said he doesn't have to take phone calls but it is always there and in play. He said that they need these tools to do the show.
Howard said there's a weird energy there. Howard said the show has 8 more shows. He said he's not sure how Dave is feeling but the staff are all losing their jobs there. Howard said he ran into the pre-interview guy and he asked how he's doing. He said the guy isn't sure what he's going to do after the show. He said the guy wondered if Dave is going to do something after the show or not. Howard said he thinks Dave is done. Howard said Dave has a place in the city and he has an apartment there in the theater too. Howard said Dave must have a driver. Howard said he wakes up at the Ed Sullivan theater and then does the show later. Howard said he read that most of the staff puts the show together and Dave is hardly involved. Howard said maybe it is time to leave if that's the case.
Robin said Dave started the top 10 list and he thought there were supposed to be networks listed and there weren't. Howard said he was talking to the people there and they were in a weird zone. Howard said he felt a funeral vibe. Robin said she was talking to Biff and he was talking about how it's all ending. Robin said she had to go say goodbye to everyone she still knows there. Howard said he talked to Biff too and he isn't even sure what he's going to do after this. Howard said the audio guys have other jobs. Howard said he thought the staff would be moving to Colbert but they're not apparently. Robin said she thought that some of the Jimmy Fallon people continued on. Howard said it seems like it's a mass denial going on there. Howard said they don't know what they're going to do. He said Rob Burnett is off making a movie but the rest of the staff seem unsure.
Howard said he was asked to stay on with Don Rickles yesterday. He said he felt funny about it. He said that Don is a legend. Howard said he's one of his heroes. Howard said he loves and adores the man. Howard said he doesn't know him very well but he's a living legend. Howard said he hoped Don felt okay with him staying out there. Howard said he apparently was okay with it.
Howard said he stayed until the end of the show. Howard said he was going to say something sweet to Dave. He said he may never see him again. Howard said he doesn't think Dave feels comfortable speaking to him outside the show. Howard said he and Dave have had a good relationship and have done things for each other. Howard said they have a lot of similarities in some ways. Howard said he wanted to wish him well in retirement. He said he wanted to say he'd be thrilled to see him privately or something along those lines. Howard said he was sitting there at the end and the show just ended. He said Don was talking to him and the show just ended. Howard said after being in radio for so long and doing everything with his own rules he forgets how compact the shows are. He said the dialog is so quick. He said the show felt like it was over in 3 seconds. Howard said he doesn't remember settling in and having fun. Howard said he mentioned a few things with Dave and then it was over.
Howard said he felt good about the appearance. He said the whole thing was good with the kiss and all of that. Howard said he wanted to please Dave. He said he's so glad that his show is over in one aspect. He said he hates being on other shows. He said he's so glad he doesn't have to do anything else. Robin said he has to do Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said he's been a good friend. He said he will do that.
Howard said they asked him to do Dave's last 2 weeks of shows and he had to do it. He said it was an honor to do it. Howard said he wanted to please Dave and just make him laugh. Howard said he wanted to go on and just say whatever was on his mind. Howard said the show at the end ended so abruptly. He said he saw Dave behind them just leave in a flash. Howard asked what they were doing. He said the Letterman people told them to stay there because they were going to do a thing with the audience. Howard said the band is playing and they were asked to just stay there. Howard said he got weirded out. He said he thought maybe Dave wanted to do another segment or something. He said there was no goodbye from Dave. Howard said the band is playing and he asked Don what's going on but he can't hear him. He said he turned to Rob Burnett and they told him not to leave yet. He said they said they had to tape something. He said that they were lying to him. He said he thought Dave had to run off to get something. Robin said it was taking a long time to come back. She thought that he was talking to Dave.
Howard said the music ends and then they came up to him and said he could go. Howard said he came off the set so confused. Howard said that it was so bizarre. He said that Dave just left the building. He said that must be his exit plan. Howard said he didn't say a word to him. Howard said sometimes he slips out when he goes to a party. He said that's what this was like. He said it's Dave's show though. Howard said he never got to say goodbye to Dave.
Howard said he did paint a painting for Dave. He wrote his wife a note that he gave to Dave too. Howard said when he paints these pictures he feels funny because he's a beginner trying to figure it out. Howard said he painted that flower to figure out if he could do it. Howard said he did that one and people thought it came out good. He said that he thought about Dave's wife and sometimes the wife is the one who holds things together. Howard said that he wanted to give Dave something nice. He said everyone gave him joke gifts. He gave Dave a joke gift too but also the painting. Howard said he gave Dave a cowboy hat that he had him try on. Howard said he wanted to give something to Dave's wife Regina. Howard said he gave her the flower painting. Howard said it was very unusual for him to do that. Howard said he felt good about doing that and his wife convinced him to do that on the air.
Howard said he hopes that Dave enjoys the painting. He said that he thinks about Johnny Carson retiring and how things went down. Howard said that it seems like it's all in a blink of an eye that all of this stuff went down. Howard said that he remembers doing the show the first time and how honored he was to do it. Howard said he was always asked back and he did the show a lot. Howard said he can't believe it's all over. He said it's weird. Robin said they didn't even know if they would last on radio.
Howard said that he thought about how grateful he is that he held on to his radio career instead of TV shows that were offered to him. He said he was looking at that whole operation and the pacing of it. Howard said sitting there doing the show with Robin is so more fulfilling than a TV show would be. Howard said that it's so frantically paced there. Howard said this is perfect for him. Robin said when it's only an hour every minute counts.
Howard said he was talking to everyone over there asking what they're going to do. He said that many of them are taking the summer off. Howard said the staff over there have been wonderful to him. He said they're very welcoming. He said this time it was more about them. He said that they always made him feel welcome. He said this time it was all about them.
Howard said he has to take a break. He said the phones are being worked on. He said that James Taylor will be in today. Howard said he is so excited about that. Howard said there is going to be a James Taylor channel starting next Friday on SiriusXM. Howard said it will consist of a private concert for listeners and things like that. Howard said that you can find out more at SiriusXM.com. Howard said James is bringing his guitar in today and he'll be playing something. Howard said James called him a couple of months ago and he asked him if he should bring in his guitar. Howard said he asked him to do that. Howard said he's going to ask him about some songs and he's up for whatever he wants. They went to break after that.
Howard said he wanted to say to Dave last night that he wishes him the best retirement. He said he hopes he has a beautiful time. Dave said he can't wait until they're both retired and on a beach playing with each other's disgusting penises. Howard said he would be honored to play with his disgusting penis. Dave said that show business has changed and now they have to treat the gays as equals.
Howard said that it's so weird thinking about who his last guest might be. Howard said he was thinking it might be Bruce Jenner. Dave said that he doesn't want to screw up his chances to get some of that man pussy. Howard said he might be a good last guest. Dave said if Bruce can cut his cock off at least he can air his out. Howard said he knows he has to get out of there. He said he doesn't want to hold him up. Howard asked what he's thinking about doing for his monolog tonight. Dave said he's thinking about the Baltimore riots and how the young blacks are looting for their rights. Howard said that is still a problem there in this country. Dave asked Robin to bend over and show that black and white can unite.
Howard thanked Robin for being there last night. Robin said that she was hoping Dave would come visit last night but he didn't. Dave said he wants to make his penis disappear between Robin's titties. He also said that he thought she made that disgusting tumor disappear. Then he realized that was Benjy sitting there.
Howard said he loved sitting next to Don Rickles last night. Howard asked Dave if he'll miss the interviews. Dave said he will but he'd rather interview Shaq than that little cunt Justin Bieber again.
Howard said he was watching Dancing with the Stars last night and Rumer Willis relaxes him. Dave said he loves that show too. He said he jerked off to that guy Tom Bergeron last night. Howard said a lot has changed over the years. Howard asked Dave if he ever predicted that he'd be on NBC again. Dave said he can't blame Simon Cowell for trying to get him off that show. He said his fans have been trying to do that for years too.
Howard thanked Dave for everything. Dave said that it's sad that Radio Shack is going out of business and he wonders where he's going to get small metal objects to stick up his pee hole. Dave asked what the gratifying part of giving a million dollars to Unicef is. Howard said he doesn't know. Dave said he doesn't either. Howard wished Dave luck in his retirement and let him go and then went to break.
Howard came back and said he's sitting there with the one and only James Taylor. James said it's good to see them. James said that he didn't know where was an 8 o'clock on this side. Howard said it really is too early to sing. James said it is easier later in the day but this is cool. He said the Today show is the earliest he's ever had to sing. He said that's like 7 in the morning.
Howard asked James if he has ever had vocal training. Howard said he knows people who lose their voice as they get older. James said over the years he has worked with singers and they have always got pointers for him to warm up. He said he has developed a way to exercise. He said it's a series of exercises.
Howard said James' mom was an opera singer. James said she studied that kind of thing. He said back then education for women was about how to be a well rounded hostess or something. He said his dad was a doctor. He said they met when he was in medical school. James said they were moved to North Carolina which was his dad's home state.
Howard asked if he had fun growing up. James said it was great. He said he thinks there were 3 identifiable challenges. He said his dad was drafted and they took a rain check on his service so he could become a doctor. Then they called him in 1955 and he volunteered to go to the South Pole and build a scientific station there. He said that they didn't see him for a few years. He said that was some stress on his mom. Howard said she had 5 kids to deal with. Howard said she had to do that without the dad around. James said it was tough. Howard asked if she was pulling the hair out of her head. Howard said she must have gone insane. James said it was stressful for her he's sure. He said that she was struggling a little bit in those years. He said that all 5 of them were born within 6 years. James said she had a lot of young kids.
Howard asked if it was weird when dad came home after a few years. James said there was no way to communicate back then. He said that his dad was really gone for those months. He said they didn't even have mail during the winter months.
Howard asked James about learning to play the cello. Howard said he feels that his guitar style is unusual. He said he doesn't get enough credit for his guitar playing. Howard said learning the cello may have been the key. He asked if there is truth to that. James said he thinks that he's basically a bass player. He said that everything is constructed around a bass line that he plays with his thumb. He said that maybe playing on the cello got him thinking about that and the root note behind everything. Howard said he doesn't use a pick either. He plays with his nails. James said he reinforces them with some nail salon stuff. He said he's the test case for how carcinogenic this stuff is. He said he's been using it for like 40 years though.
Howard asked James about writing songs at 14 and if he remembers what he wrote. James said he does remember it. He said his mom took him to a recording studio and he recorded it. Howard said his mom believed in him then. Howard said she encouraged him. James said his dad did too. Howard said you'd think that the doctor would want him to go to medical school. James said that's what he thought they expected of him but his dad was always extremely excited for him.
Howard asked if his dad liked being a doctor. James said he thinks he did. He said he was in administration after being in research and teaching for a while. He said that he was recruited to help build a 4 year medical school at UNC. He said he was building the staff and the plant there. He said he thinks his dad loved that part of the whole thing.
Howard asked James if he knew he was going to be a musician at 14. James said he knew he wanted to be one from that age. He said he didn't think he wanted to or was able to make a life choice until he was around 18.
Howard said James was sent to a military academy. Howard asked if he was pissed about that. James said that it wasn't a military academy. It was a prep school called Milton Academy. He said it was in the Boston area. He said his parents and family lived in North Carolina and he went to Boston. He said his mom resisted in a way. He said that she was from Newburyport Massachusetts and there were some things going on down south that she didn't agree with.
Howard asked James about meeting Danny Kortchmar and he ended up helping him out with his songs. James said that he would go to Martha's Vineyard for vacations and he met Danny there. Howard said Danny told him to go to Apple Records and try to get signed. James told Howard about how he started playing with his brother and a group from North Carolina. He said they played fraternity parties and things like that. Howard said he formed the band with ''Kooch'' and the band eventually breaks up. Howard asked if the idea of going solo scared him. James said that he can see how it would appear that way. He said what happened is that when he was in high school he came back to North Carolina for 11th grade. He said that was around 1965 and it was a rough time for the family. He said his parents were breaking up. He said that he asked to go back to Milton Academy and he went back there. He said he went down hill getting depressed and then some people stepped in and noticed. He said they suggested that he get checked out by a shrink.
Howard asked how bad the depression was. James said he's not sure what it was but his dad suffered from depression and alcoholism. He said that his family was coming off the rials too. Howard said his brother died from drinking too much. He said James had addiction problems too. James said he did. He said that he thinks that it's kind of a genetically predisposed thing. He said the only way to deal with it is to treat addiction with behavior.
Howard said the teachers noticed his depression and then what. James said he was heading down and he thinks a lot of it was typical adolescent angst. He said that he had a darkness that had haunted his father's side of the family. He said that he was taken for observation in Boston. He said he hadn't tried opiates yet. He said he had minimal exposure to alcohol. James said what did happen is that his parents released him from the family expectations. James said that the thing was that he didn't think of the future really. He said it was a period of time until he had kids where he was just living until the end of the week. He said he didn't know where he could go and he had no expectations.
Howard asked if he feels that he has so much to live for now and enjoys life. James said he does. Howard asked if he's glad he didn't kill himself and think about how much has changed. Howard said you'd think that would be enough to satisfy him and he'd never want to go near drugs or alcohol again. James said that he does think that it saved his life. He said the music kept him going.
Howard asked James about getting out of the hospital and then getting in the band The Flying Machine. James said his parents were happy with whatever he wanted to do. He said he blew through his college fund at the hospital. He said he played a lot of guitar there at McClain hospital. Howard said he got in touch with himself as an artist in there. Howard said then he joins The Flying Machine. Howard said he's with the band and he fell into heroin use. James said that in the mid 60s there were a lot of drugs in the culture. He said it was easy to get high.
Howard said some of the songs he wrote were stolen from him. He said that they took his publishing. James said that The Flying Machine was picked up by a couple of guys who were producer types. He said they were song writer types too. He said one of the guys wrote ''Wild Thing.'' He said they were told that they could sign them to VJ records. He said that meant they were going to move forward. James said they got 2 days in a studio and then they were told they were going to shelve the project. James said he had to sign a publishing contract and that lasted until 1973 or so. He said it was an expensive mistake. Howard said it must have cost him millions. James said he's sure it was in the tens of millions for sure. James said the landscape is littered with stories like that. He said half the blues players from Chicago have the same story.
Howard said the magical part of the story is that he gets out of Flying Machine and he gets into addition treatment. He had a throat operation too. James said that after Flying Machine he spoke to his dad on the phone and he heard what he sounded like. He said he recognized that he was in trouble. He could hear it in his voice. James said that his dad told him not to move and 12 hours later he was there with the family station wagon. He drove him home and he spent about 6 months recovering. Howard said he let him heal for 6 months. James said he did. He said that he also let him get one of his 3 throat procedures done. He said it's a common thing for singers where they get a polyp in their throat. Howard said that has to be scary when you're a singer. James said that nothing was looking so promising that he was worried.
James said he went to London to visit a friend of his. He said he had a head full of music. James said he started playing wherever he could. He said some people in London told him to make a demo in a studio. He said that meant making some tapes and acetate discs. He said he took that and gave it to some friends of his. He said they were going to play it for people in the business. James said he called Kooch in the states and told him what he was doing. He said that Kooch was in another band and he asked for a number for Peter Asher. He said he got that number and Peter had just signed on as the head of A and R for the Beatles. He said he was 19 at the time. Howard said just making that demo got him in with Peter Asher. Howard said that demo he made got into the hands of Paul McCartney somehow. James said that he may have just heard about it from Peter. Howard said James had the look and the voice and he must have thought he had a gold mine. James said he was just looking for talent.
Howard said that James is suddenly in with the Beatles record label. Howard said he's the first American act. James said they had no acts signed for their label. He said he was the first. James said he sent his dad a letter asking him to sign the contract for him. He said he was under the age of consent. He said his dad did that.
Howard said James was recording his album at the same time that the Beatles were recording their White album. James said they would go in and take over the time that the Beatles weren't using at the studio. Howard said they must have let him hang out with them. James said that they did hang out and he was still partying with heroin and he's just happy he didn't get John killed. James said when he was in New York he had his first level of addiction. He said that he was lucky to have survived that. He said he was left for dead a couple of times. Howard said he was living for the end of the week at the time so that's how close it came.
Howard said maybe the addiction helped him because he wasn't worried about anything. He said that he didn't get neurotic in the studio.
Howard said that James saw the Beatles record ''Revolution.'' Howard said he must have soaked all of that in. James said it was unbelievable. He said that just seeing that would have been enough for him. Howard said that he recorded ''Something in the Way She Moves''. James told Howard about the people who were working on the album and how the band was having some problems. Howard said that James is the one who came up with ''Something in the Way She Moves'' and when George heard it then he was inspired to write something. James said that he did notice that about a month later it showed up in one of his songs called ''Something.'' He said that he had kind of pirated ''She's a woman'' for his own song. He said these things happen.
Howard asked James about going into the studio and recording and if he does it at the same time or records separately. James said it can be both ways. He said it all depends. Howard said he sang that song for George Harrison and sang it just like this. He had James perform the song ''Something in the Way She Moves.''
After the song Howard said his voice gets better and better. Howard said he thinks it's so great that he can accompany himself on guitar. Howard asked if he still practices guitar. James said doing sound checks and things like that are about 5 hours of playing a day. He said this year has been very busy. He said he did 40 weeks on the road so he plays a lot. He said if he's off for a month or two he can let it sit for a couple of weeks. He said that you have to use it or lose it when it comes to that and your voice.
Howard asked what happened after he played that song for the Beatles. James said that Paul and Peter said they liked the way he sounded. He said they thought they could do something with him. He said Peter came out and gave him the thumbs up and that was good enough for him.
Howard said one of his favorite songs is ''Carolina in my Mind'' and he didn't know that Paul played and George sang backup vocals on the song. James said that he thinks they did. Howard said that had to blow his mind too. James said it was all other worldly. He said he was living in a basement flat and he couldn't believe his luck.
Howard asked if he was able to enjoy it or was his depression in the way? James said that he wasn't for whatever reason. He said that he thinks that the stay in McClain was great for him because it was his ticket out. He said he played music there and that's what helped. He said that he was either going to sink or swim and from that time with everything going on he just wondered what was next. He said it's important to remember that this was 1968 and people were dropping out. He said that at the least it got him out of the draft. He said that he had a couple of guys come with him to the draft board from the hospital. He said they went across the room and spoke to the woman there and said they may not want this one. James said his brothers managed to get out for different reasons too.
Howard asked James to do a little bit of ''Carolina in My Mind'' for him. James told Howard about what he thinks about when he performs the song. He told Howard about how he met a woman in this place he was staying in Formentera. He said that he met this woman Karen and they went to a party and it was in Ibiza. He said he had his guitar with him and he wrote this tune. He went right into ''Carolina in My Mind'' after doing a little tuning on the guitar.
After the song Howard said he didn't hear anything wrong with the tuning. James did. Howard asked if he played that song for Karen. James said he may have. Howard said that must get her ready to ''go to bed'' with him. James said that it puts her to sleep like it puts his audience to sleep.
Robin asked when he realized that he had this talent and he could get girls. James said there are two big motivaters in life and it's sex and death. He said love is another one. James said he was deeply home sick when he wrote that song. He played a little more for Howard. He said he wrote about how grateful he was for the Beatles but he kept being pulled back home. He said that it's what you are and it's your past.
Howard asked if he went looking for Karen a few years back. James said that he heard that she was at a show he played in Denmark. He said that he heard that he missed her after she was turned away. Howard said this is what Facebook is for. Howard said he does that and sees what a mess they are and what a mess he is himself.
Howard asked if he is on Facebook. James said he is but it's sort of a quasi professional thing. He said he does contribute to it and keeps input coming into the page. He said that it's not so much of a two way conversation. Howard said he could just go on to see what they look like. Howard said that he will be so grateful for who he's with now that he should do it. Howard said that's what he does.
Howard said he has seen James play many times and there is something so magical when he's just sitting there with his guitar. James said they have a lot of songs that start out with just the guitar but then the band joins in. He said it's great to have both. Howard said he doesn't need a band. He said that must be so satisfying. James said he wrote it all as just guitar and voice. He said then you get this musical family to travel with you and you write stuff for what you hear them playing. He said that he has written a lot of things that just don't play on guitar.
Howard said he got to know James with ''Sweet Baby James''. James said he was learning how to record back then and it took him that first album to realize that. He said they experimented with some arrangements. He said they wanted to get some of those songs for the greatest hits but they weren't able to so they re-recorded them. He said he really liked those arrangements.
Howard said he loved his music so much but he hated that he was so good looking. Howard said he thought that he was singing about himself but he was really writing about his nephew who was named after him. He said it was a lullaby that he wrote for his nephew. James said that's right. Howard asked him to take them back there to that second album. James said that the song was written behind the wheel of a car driving. He said he went to see this nephew who was named after him. He told Howard about how he was strung out at the time and he went to some detoxes over the years. He said that he still goes to meetings to keep it green. He said that he thinks that he wasn't seeking oblivion but self medicating. Howard said he was trying to feel normal in some way. James said he became a work out junky eventually. James said he has 4 kids now and he worries about them having addiction problems. He said that his youngest don't remember him as an active addict. He said he tells them that they may have the same problem if they start out with drugs. He said that it's so easy to get into that.
Howard said that he remembers James not being able to support a tour because of his addiction. He said everyone was fucked up out of their brain back then though. James said there was a lot of that going on. James said he got cleaned up and Peter started booking him and worked with him getting him signed to Warner Brothers. He started playing clubs and things. He said he was always functional for the most part. He said he never got to the point that he couldn't work. Howard said his first album didn't light the world on fire so he worked on the second album. Howard said that James wrote this song for his nephew and he must have played it for him. James said he may have but he was less than a year old. Howard had him play the song ''Sweet Baby James'' after that.
After the song Howard asked where baby James is now. James said that he's in his mid 40s now. Howard said that he must go around bragging that the song is about him. James said name a kid after him and he'll write a song about him.
Howard asked if he wrote the songs in a journal. James said he did but in the early 70s he stared singing into cassette tapes. He said the WalkMan was a godsend.
Howard mentioned the song ''Country Road'' which was on that second album. Howard said he was looking forward to a brighter future with that song. James said that a lot of his songs are there to make people feel better or make himself feel better. He said he enjoys this life and he's been grateful for it all along. He said he is more up and positive than people assume. James said a lot of the songs come from this place where he has so little control over what he writes. He said he's grateful for whatever comes through.
James broke into ''Country Road'' and told Howard that it's a drop D tuning. He showed Howard how that works. He told Howard about the last time he was on and played ''Woodstock'' it was in that drop D. Howard said Leslie West wrote a lot of his songs in that tuning too. James said that's right. He said it's easy to play in that tuning. James played more of ''Country Road'' for Howard after that.
After the song Howard said he loves that. He said that album is so great. He said he's excited about this channel they're doing there at SiriusXM. Howard said he's doing a live concert for the subscribers too. James said he's doing the concert at the Apollo. He said that in the 60s he was about 17 and they were on their way up to Martha's Vineyard and Kooch was helping a friend move into a dorm and when they were finished Kooch said they had a great bill at the Apollo. He said he didn't know much about it back then since he was a white kid from the suburbs. James said they saw a performance of Mockingbird and some other great songs by some blues singers. He said he saw Joe Tex and Lee Dorsey others there. James said that it was an amazing show. Howard said he's going to do a show from the Apollo now.
Howard said Fire and Rain is also on that Sweet Baby James album. Howard asked if that comes to him quickly. James said that Country Road has two verses and it did come very fast. He said it was just a product of what he was playing on the guitar. Howard said Fire and Rain might be the most successful song because that's the one that everyone associates with James Taylor. James said that it is one of them. He said that his audience that returns every year likes to hear that one. He said they also like to hear a lot of different songs of his. He said that many of the songs they play are off the greatest hits but then they mix in other things.
Howard asked for a taste of ''Fire and Rain.'' James went into that song for him for a short time. Howard said he loves that song. He said that album blew people away. James said it did. He said they sold 3 million copies in its first printing. He said it was hugely gratifying for him. He said he was able to support a band after that. He said his family was very proud and supportive after that too.
Howard said that it had to be intoxicating for him. James said it was. He said it was very heady stuff. Howard asked if he was able to control himself. James said he was. He said he went from a very private space to a position to taking it to market.
Howard said then James moved on to work with Mudslide Slim. Howard said that Carole King wrote ''You've got a Friend.'' Howard said James loved the song so much and she told him to record it too. James said that he immediately learned the song and started to play it himself. He said that Carole had done her best work with that and they were making Mudslide Slim when he decided to perform the song. He said he had time in the session so they came out with this great track. He said he didn't mean for it to happen but he told Carole that they recorded this great version. Howard said he was the one who had the huge hit. He said Carole wasn't upset because she's used to that. Howard said James got all of the accolades for the song. James said it's still a big song overseas. He said that's the song people know him for overseas. Howard asked to hear a little bit of that too. James played ''You've Got a Friend'' for him.
After that song Howard said that was beautiful. He said that was released in 1971 and radio stations had to figure out which one to play. James won. Howard said that he met Joni Mitchell around that time. Howard said he fell in love with her. James said they had such a great time. He said they met in Toronto at a music festival. He said that she was playing there and that's where they met. Howard said he has spoken to tons of musicians who were in love with Joni. Howard said that had to be an amazing creative time. Howard asked if she helped figure out songs or not. James said it just never happened. He said that he was working on his stuff and she was working on her stuff. He said they never collaborated. He said it takes a special kind of song writing to do that. He said that he never really did that other than with one song. He said he did play guitar with her at times though.
Howard asked James about playing banjo on the Neil Young song ''Old Man.'' James said he did but it wasn't really a banjo. He said it was a specially stringed guitar. James told Howard that he played on Heart of Gold too. Howard asked if he knew the song was going to be a hit right away. James said that a hit is difficult to tell. He said that he knew the song was great. Both of them were. Howard asked if he was tickled that it did become a hit and he was playing on it. James said he was. He said that he told his kids when they were trying to learn it on guitar that he played on it and they didn't know.
Howard said James sang back up on Heart of Gold too. James said he did. Howard said he must love Neil too. James said of course. He said Neil asked them to sing on another album a couple of years later. Howard said it's smart of Neil to open up the process to another guy.
Howard said so much of this is great to hear. He said he has such a full life. Howard said Billy Joel sang a song to him and his wife at their wedding. It was James' song ''You Can Close Your Eyes.'' Howard asked to hear a little bit of that. James performed some of that song for Howard.
Howard said that song wrecks him emotionally. James said he wrote it for Joni in a hotel room. He said they were traveling with Warren Oates because they were making a movie. He said that it was called ''Two Lane Highway.'' He said that there were just a couple of actors in the movie. He said that they were traveling with Warren and they went from town to town or location to location. He said they were all over the southwest. He said they had a great time. He said he remembers writing that song for her in that hotel room. Howard asked if she just melted. James said that she must have liked the song. Howard asked if he got lucky. James laughed and said ''I don't know.''
Howard asked what happened with them. James said they just wandered away from each other. He said that he was on his way to Martha's Vineyard and they had a change of planes in Boston and Joni said she was going to head out and she needed to go back to L.A. to get some things done. He said that was it. Howard said he understands that she's ill. James said he thinks she's a lot better. He said they have stayed in touch. He said he worked with her a couple of years ago on an album and it's always great to see her. Howard said he must have been heart broken. James said it must have been but the way he saw it was that it was only good as long as both people wanted it. He said she just felt like she wanted to be by herself for a bit.
Howard said he has to ask James about something. He said on December 7, 1980 James encountered Mark David Chapman. Howard said that the loss of John Lennon is such a huge loss to the world. James said it really is a big loss. He said that he just got started at 40. He said Lennon could have just been getting started too. James said he was living in a building and John lived in the building next door. He said between them was 73rd Street. James said he was coming out of the subway one day and Mark was on the train or on the platform with him. He said Mark was agitated and he was sweating and looked like he had been up for a while. He said that he was creeped out by the guy. He said he got the vibe that he didn't want to spend a lot of time with him. He said he was rambling on and on and babbling. He said that he walked up the stairs to 72nd street and said he had to go. He said the next evening he was talking to Peter Asher's wife and she was talking about how crazy things were out where he lived. James said he was sitting by a window that was near the Dakota. He said that he heard 5 shots ring out on the street. He said that he said he thinks the cops just shot someone on the street. He told Asher's wife that it was 5 in a row. He said he thought someone had been killed on the street and he had to go. He said 20 minutes later Asher's wife called back saying that was John Lennon. Howard asked if that made him rethink New York and living there. James said it did a little bit. He said that they were so popular that you're going to fit into some crazy fantasy just statistically. James said he can still travel as a working musician and he's grateful for that.
Howard asked if he knew that John lived there next to him. James said he had actually visited him and Yoko. He said he ran into John on the street a few times too. He said he was an amazing guy.
Howard said the other thing that he brings up is that he finally got clean after he saw Belushi in his casket. Howard said that he saw that and got out of it. James said that it took him about a year for him to realize that he couldn't drink. He said after he detoxed from methadone he was drinking. James said he was friends with Judy Belushi and John. Howard asked if he just didn't want to end up like that. James said he wrote a song with a verse about John in it. He played that for Howard. Howard said that's why he's there. James said it was areal eye opener for him.
Howard said Taylor Swift is named after him. James said he talked to her about that. He said that they were hanging out back stage and Taylor told him that she was named after him. Howard said he has performed with her a couple of times. James said he has. He said he sang Fire and Rain with her and her band. He said she came up and did one of the events they do up in Massachusetts with him.
Howard asked how long it took to put this new album (''Before This World'') together. James said about 5 years to write the stuff. He said it was about a year to record it. He said he could have done it quicker but they were recoding all over the country.
Howard said he thinks the album has stuff about his addiction in it. James said that he's done that with just about every album.
Jon said he's going to do a song called ''Angels of Fenway'' now. That's on the new album. James said it's available somehow but he's not sure exactly how. Howard said the whole business has gotten very complicated. Howard said you can pre-order at JamesTaylor.com
James told Howard about the song and then performed ''Angels of Fenway.'' After the song Howard said he's still got it. He said he really is a big Red Sox fan. He said that is light hearted and a great song. Howard said it's a different topic for him too. James said that it's rare for him to know he wanted to write about the 2004 series. Howard said he's shocked he can remember those lyrics.
Howard asked if he's chewing nicotine gum. James said he is. He said he quit smoking in 1985 or so but then he was chewing tobacco. He said he took up the gum after that. Howard said the chewing tobacco is disgusting. He said that he would think he'd be afraid of the whole cancer of the mouth thing. James said it doesn't affect his singing so he keeps doing it.
Howard said this has been an incredible morning. James said it's been an honor. Howard said he is so important to him. He said that this was a magical morning for him and his audience. Howard said they celebrate the new album. Howard gave James some plugs for the special channel and the concert that's coming up in June. He gave James some plugs for the album too. Howard said he is the best and thanked him for coming in. James had some nice things to say to Howard too. He said it's like a safe haven for him to come in there. Howard said he's been there for like 2 hours talking to them. He said that he must have to pee. James said he wet his trousers and he's fine. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and did a live commercial read. After that Howard said James Taylor was mind blowing. He said he had a whole other agenda but he was so great that they wended up talking for 2 hours straight. Howard said he has to catch up a bit. Howard said screw that and went right to the news.
They played Robin into her news with a Little Mikey song parody about Robin to the tune of ''Carolina in My Mind.''
Robin started off congratulating Howard on his Letterman appearance. Howard said the phones are still out today. He said he hopes that they're fixed for tomorrow. Robin read about Howard's appearance and how he was upset that Jay Leno was offered the shot at being on Letterman's final show. Robin had some audio clips from Letterman. Howard said he almost came sitting next to the great Don Rickles. Howard said that he tried to kiss Letterman too. He said he thought he would go for it but he didn't. Howard said he has never really kissed a man on TV. He sad that he thought it might be funny if he vomited from kissing a man. Howard said he thought it would have been hysterical if he threw up. Howard said he was thinking about it and just went for it. Howard said he was relieved that he fought him. Robin said Howard tried though. Howard said he did. He tried to take him from behind too. Howard said he almost threw up looking at himself on that show. Robin said she thought he looked handsome. Howard said it's only in her mind. Howard said he wasn't able to sleep last night because he didn't kiss him.
Robin read about how the NFL is suspending Tom Brady for 4 games. Howard said he agrees that they have to have rules and abide by them. Howard said Tom Brady has never really cooperated with the investigation. Howard said he thinks they have to punish the guy but they could say to the Patriots that they want to talk to him unless he just talks with them. Howard said people are outraged by the punishment. Howard said that they don't punish people who beat their wives as much in the NFL. Robin had some audio of someone talking about a possible appeal and how this may hot hold up.
Howard said that Mad Dog Russo is fuming about all of this and he's out in the hall. Howard had him come in. Howard said they're talking about Tom Brady. Howard asked Fake Mad Dog (Sour Shoes) to come in to talk about it. Mad Dog was yelling about the whole situation and it's all about integrity. Howard spent a short time talking to Mad Dog about all of that. Howard asked him to stick around for awhile. He said he would love to. They spent a few minutes goofing around with the Mad Dog thing and Sour stayed in character most of the time. He let a Baba Booey ''Nointh'' slip in there once.
Howard asked Mad Dog and Gary about the Tom Brady thing. Gary spent a little time talking about Tom Brady. Howard said mad Dog is laughing at Gary. Mad Dog was arguing with him about what he had just said. Sour started to break out of character a little bit. He did his Scott Ferrall impression for a second. It seemed like Howard wanted him to stay as Mad Dog though.
Robin had more about Tom Brady and had Howard play some clips of people talking about that. Howard had Fake Mad Dog talk about that a little more. He had Howard cracking up a few times with his impression.
Howard said that Artie stopped by too. Howard said he wants to talk about what's going on. Sour went into his Artie impression and talked about how tired he is looking at Howard's schedule. He said he had James Taylor on for 3 hours and he was on Letterman last night. Howard asked fake Artie about the Patriots for a few. Howard asked if he's still gambling. Sour did his Artie thing and used the word ''fag'' a few times. Howard said that's not politically correct these days. Artie said he may have to do another PSA for that.
Robin said they were talking about people reacting to the final season of American Idol being next season. Robin said that people like Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul have commented on the end of the show. She had some audio of Paula talking about how great the show was and how maybe it's time it's run its course.
Howard said it's a sad day now that Letterman is going away and now Harry Connick Jr. will be out of work. Howard asked fake Gary about some stuff so Sour did his impression of Gary for a minute. Sour talked about drinking tequila. Howard said he heard he drinks ''noine'' hours a day. That led to Howard doing a live commercial read. Sour did some of his Jackie voice during that commercial too.
Robin read a story about a college class where students had to be naked in the final class. Robin said one of the students was upset about that. Gary came in and said that it was an elective class and it was stated in the description that it was a requirement. Robin said that's not right to have something like that even if it's an art class. That led to Howard asking Artie why he was getting naked and talking to Mad Dog again. Then he broke into Gary again and Howard said the thought of two Gary's is scary. Howard said fake Artie just came in his pants. Artie told a joke that Artie tells about how someone called him obese and how he'd be called Obese Witherspoon if he was an actress. Howard did another live commercial read after that. Sour did more of his Jackie impression during that commercial.
Robin read a story about George Zimmerman and how he's in the news again. Robin said they say he got into some road rage altercation and someone tried to shoot him. Robin said that he wasn't killed though. Robin said that the shooter pleaded with a bystander to call 911. Howard said this guy gets into such shenanigans. Robin said that the guy had a concealed weapon permit and he calls the shooting justified. Sour did more of his Gary voice and his Artie voice after that.
Robin read a story about flying on a plane and having a baby on board and how annoying that can be. Robin asked about having an autistic child on board. Robin said a family was kicked off a United Airlines flight because their autistic daughter acted out because she was hungry. Robin said they had no compassion for their daughter on the flight. Robin had some audio of the mother talking about that. Sour did his Mad Dog impression yelling about that. He did his Artie voice talking about Prader-Willi. Robin had some audio of a passenger talking about why the child was taken off the plane. She said that they were worried for the safety of the 170 people on the flight. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Howard asked fake Gary about how his life is going. Gary talked about how busy he is and how things are going with the family. He said that things changed about ''noine'' years ago.
Robin read a story about women who freeze their eggs in their 30s and how that seems to help make it more successful if they're saving them for the future. Howard asked Mad Dog to talk about that. sour did his Mad Dog and Artie impressions talking about that. He talked about food like Artie used to. Sour did a little more Jackie voice too. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how more American's are claiming to be agnostic. Robin said that the number of Christians in the country is dropping too. That led to Sour doing his Gary voice talking about religion. He broke into his Mad Dog voice again too. Robin said they say 7 in 10 identify as Christians in America now. Robin said that has dropped since the last survey. Sour ended up doing more Artie and talked about ''Daner'' and things like that.
Robin read a story about a man in California who allegedly stabbed a woman for turning down his marriage proposal. Howard talked to fake Mad Dog about that story. Sour had Howard and Robin cracking up with that impression. He did more of the Artie thing before Howard did yet another live commercial read.
Robin read a story about this story about how Obama may have lied about the Osama bin Laden killing. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about how he was in the room at the time and he knows that this story isn't true.
Sour broke into his Mad Dog voice again and said he was talking to Benjy the other day. Howard had Sour do his Artie impression and talk about Benjy and his problems with his ex-girlfriend. Howard talked to him about Megyn Kelly too. Artie was talking about how you don't hear a word those women are saying on FOX News.
Robin read a story about Michelle Obama talking about her struggles with race and overcoming racial stereotypes. Robin had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin read about how Kanye West received an honorary doctorate at a school in Chicago. Robin had some audio of him talking about what he was feeling when he accepted that. That led to Sour Shoes doing his Gilbert Gottfried impression for a second.
Robin read that Beyonce is a game of Thrones fan. Howard said he thinks even Artie is watching that. Sour, as Artie, said ''Uh, no...'' Mad Dog talked about it a little bit. Artie said he likes Game of Calzones. Robin read about how Jay Z bought one of the dragon eggs for Beyonce. Howard said he read that the Khaleesi, Amelia Clark, says in the new Harpers Bazaar that she asked Channing Tatum and his wife to have sex. Howard said they're a very good looking couple so that shit must go down. Howard said that is turning him on just thinking about that.
Robin read about how NBC had their up fronts yesterday. Robin said nothing was said about Brian Williams. Howard asked Mad Dog what he thinks about that. Mad Dog said he thinks it's interesting and they should have him back to spin some more weaves.
Robin read about a Picasso that sold for $179.4 million. Howard said he went to a guy's house who has Picassos and he doesn't like that style of painting. Robin said she has an appreciation for Picasso's stuff. Howard had Sour do his Gary voice and then wrapped up with Sour. Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon said they have to get to all of that but they have a poll up today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''What Was Your Favorite James Taylor Performance Today?'' and the choices are:
Jon said just looking at the poll James did 9 songs. He played full versions of all of those songs. Lisa said that he asked him to play a little but he did full songs. Lisa said that Howard had to pretend that the Fenway song was good. She said everyone is allowed a stinker here and there.
Jon said that Howard is a big fan of James and you won't hear a 2 hour long interview with him anywhere else. He said Howard was reliving his youth while James was telling those stories. He said just imagine you're a Beatles fan and you're the first person they sign to their record label. Jon said that's crazy. Lisa said that can't happen more than once in a decade. Jon said he had wild stories about Mark David Chapman and more. Jon said he's led some life.
Lisa said the Joni Mitchell story blew her away. She said that it was crazy that she left him because of that flight change. She said that it all worked out later though. Jon said Howard told the story about James playing banjo on the Neil Young album and all of that too. Jon said that he wants to hear what the fans thought of all of that. Jon said they have a lot to talk about. He said their phones are actually working so they'll get to the fans after a break.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought that there might be some emotion on Letterman but it was classic Howard annoying the shit out of Letterman. He said it was a classic late night show. Jon said it could have gotten sappy at the end but that's what they do. He said they know how to play the game. Jon said Howard comes in to talk about it but he can only talk to Evil Dave who stopped in for a short visit. Jon said that they are wondering what will happen to Evil Dave now. Lisa said he could call in from the Montana ranch once in a while. Jon said that Howard will get emotional when he ends his show. He said that Howard will get chocked up. Lisa agreed.
Jon said he's not sure who will start the water works but it will come out of everyone eventually. Lisa said that it might start with Sal.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought it was interesting that James Taylor didn't finish Fire and Rain all the way through. He said that maybe it's a painful song for him to play. Jon said that was the one song. He said he's not sure why that is. He said he's played it on the show before in the past. He said he has something great in his voice that makes him sound like a 20 year old. Jon said his songs are sad but James doesn't seem sad. Lisa said she kept tearing up and she had to put make up on to get ready to come over there.
Lisa said that James still sounds as good as he did 30 years ago. She said they just played his interview from 1991 the other day and he was great then and great now.
Jon took a call from a guy who said today's show was a perfect example of what the Howard Stern Show is all about. He said he's not a James Taylor fan really but he found himself liking the guy and his music. He said then Sour Shoes comes in and turns the show upside down. He said that he should be on a rotation for the next few months. Jon said it was great with both Sour Shoes Gary and the regular Gary talking to each other. Jon said Sour picks up on the subtle things and that's what makes his impressions great. He said that's what makes his impressions so solid.
The caller said at the very end of the Letterman show why do they spend 3 minutes on the house band instead of letting Howard and Rickles do their thing. He said it seemed like a waste of time. Lisa said that they have to show the credits. She said she thought that's how they run credits all the time. They spent a short time talking about that.
Gary came in so Jon asked him about what was going on at Letterman. Gary said that a lot of people seemed bummed there. He said that they're at the end of their careers. He said they're thinking about themselves and not about the guests. Gary said that Howard may not get a call saying that he did a great job but he didn't get that call. Jon said maybe because the phones weren't working. Gary said he thought he was going to die over that this morning even though he had nothing to do with it. They went to break after that.
Jon said James had no problem talking about anything. He said that he was talking about so many things like the Mark David Chapman thing. Gary said that gave him a chill. Jon said you have to have the talent to get lucky breaks and he got them.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he is fascinated by Sour Shoes. He said he wants to know about how they get him to calm down and get logistics figured out. He said the real question he has about it is that his version of Gary is excellent. He said he's the 80s and 90s version of Gary though. He said the real Gary stands his own a lot more now. He asked Gary how that came about where Gary stopped being such a pussy. Gary said he started working for Howard at 23 and he was living at home. He said he thinks he just grew up. He said Howard let him mature more when they got there to Sirius. He said you just grow up at some point.
Jon asked Gary if he hears Sour's impression more as the older Gary. Gary said he'll have to go back and listen. He said that Sour can switch gears so quickly and he just got more of his respect today. Lisa asked if it's hard to get him in there. Gary said it is. He said he is an interesting character. Gary said that people have to hang around with him. He said it's hard to explain. Lisa said he looks so normal. Gary said you wouldn't want to let him roam the halls alone. He said he could end up in another studio.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they noticed James Taylor stuttering with every answer. Gary said that's just the way he talks. Jon said he has great stories. Gary said he's funny too. Lisa said he has a great memory too. She said that he remembers everything. She said she can't remember where she wrote jokes and things but James remembers where he wrote songs.
Jon said they found out that James Taylor was part of the Neil Young album. He said people will listen to the song differently now.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about Howard's interview style and how he has a lot of near misses where the guest has to correct him. He asked if that's a technique he uses. Gary said that the research comes from articles and it may not be totally correct. Gary said sometimes the guest may not remember it correctly or doesn't want to. He said that if they said something in an article 20 years ago their perception may have changed. Jon said that's what happened with David Letterman last night when Howard asked him about moving to Montana.
Jon asked Gary if he believes how great James' voice sounds. Gary said he sounded amazing. He said it's just him alone with a guitar too. Gary said he did more than they asked him to do.
Jon asked Rahsaan what the results of the poll are. Rahsaan said that the song that won the poll was Angels of Fenway. He said Carolina on my Mind came in second. You've got a Friend came in 5th. Gary sounded shocked.
Jon gave Lisa some plugs and got in some plugs for the new James Taylor channel. He wrapped up the show after that. They were done around Noon.
Howard started the show talking about how jam packed the show was going to be today. He said MMA fighter Ronda Rousey will be coming in today. He said he's not into guys beating the shit out of each other but he watched Ronda fighting and they were punching each other hard in the face. He said he has daughters and he has a hard time with it. He said she's a terrific fighter though.
Howard said hypnotist Scott Schmaren is coming in too. He said that he was working with Ronnie yesterday. Robin said that on Monday she thought she had lost time and she thought that she was hypnotized. She wasn't but she thought she was. Howard said Ronnie had trouble sleeping last night and it was a weird experience for him. He said Ronnie will get hypnotized today. He said they have a plan but he's not sure if he's supposed to know about it or not. Howard said they'll worry about it later. Gary said he knows. Howard said Ronnie is going to drop a load in his pants. He said that he has to see that. Robin said then he can have his ''silver dollar.''
Howard said the phones are working today. He said he tried to get to the bottom of what was going on yesterday. He said they had no phone lines. Howard said they have to connect to the phone lines through some French company bullshit. He said it's some trunk or something. Howard said this trunk seems to go out all the time. He said that he wanted the execs there to look into it. Howard said he blew his stack and everyone was upset. Howard said they have a backup system that no one checked. Howard said now he's really on a rampage.
Howard said he has Brian Koppelman on the phone. Howard explained who he is and what he's done. Brian said he has a show coming out on Showtime in 2016 but he'll talk about that at another time. Brian told Howard he thought Howard's appearance on Letterman was the best ever. Howard said his parents thought the same thing. He said that his mother was telling him about what she thought. Howard did his mother's voice and talked about that.
Brian said that when Howard grabbed Dave in the hug he gave a standing o to the TV. He said that he was 16 in 1982 and the two of them were giants to him. He said they were giants of comedy and entertainment. He said it was a hilarious moment for him. He said that the whole thing was just great. He said having the guts to give Dave that hug was the greatest.
Howard said he scratched out on a piece of paper that he was going to kiss him about a week ago. He said the reality is that he'd have to kiss a man. Howard said he kept saying to himself that it would be funny but he's not sure he's capable of doing that. Howard said he's not a macho asshole but he's never done it. Howard said he and his dad kiss each other on the cheek but never on the lips. Howard said his dad checks his balls for a hernia too but that's another story. Howard said in his mind to kiss letterman is the real send off. Howard said the thought of putting his lips on a guy is that he'd feel their stubble on his face. Howard said he has kissed some girls with stubble but he didn't know it.
Howard said he went out there and it's a really surreal thing. He said he kind of goes blank out there. Howard said that he was talking to James Taylor yesterday and he was talking about how safe he feels there. Howard said that he was talking to Dave and he just had to stop and he told Dave to come over to him. He said he didn't plan on going to the staging area. Howard said he asked Dave to come over and he is so damn tall that he looked like he could manipulate Dave like a puppet. He said he knows Dave has neck problems but he just went for it. He said Dave was so squirmy that he wasn't able to do it. Howard said he was wriggling around like a cat getting its nails clipped. Howard said he took him from behind and tried to stretch his head over his. He said afterward he was happy he resisted.
Howard said the kiss was on every newscast. He said it was on from Des Moines to Los Angeles. Howard said he spent like an hour watching the clips JD sent to him. He said in one clip a female anchor said ''You know Howard, no means no.'' Howard asked JD who that was. JD wasn't sure. Howard said it was like a rape. Robin said it really was. Robin said he did come back and he was okay with the hug. Brian said it was great. He said for people who have been with the two of them that long it was everything.
Howard said he has Liam Neeson on the phone too. Howard took the call from Fake Liam. Howard said he and Robin are big fans. Liam said it takes balls to be gay. Howard said it really does. Liam said he tried to stick his finger up his poop chute. Howard let Liam go after that.
Brian said he has a podcast and he knows Howard isn't a fan of them. Howard said he doesn't hate podcasts. He said he likes the idea. He said what he doesn't like is people who want to get into broadcasting and think that podcasting is the way to do it. Howard said he won't get into the whole rap again. Brian said he knows. Howard let him go.
Howard said he has Fred the Elephant Boy on the phone. Fred said he tickets to the Letterman appearance. He said that he got them from Jim from Raleigh. He said that he invited him. Howard asked how Jim got them. Fred said he thinks that he's a made man.
Gary said that Shuli interviewed Fred while he was out there at Letterman and Fred said he was going to retire from the show because of the fights he's been having lately. Then he called the next day and unretired. Fred said it has to do with High Pitch Eric and Joey Boots going after him. Howard said he's not sure what's going on there but he's asking High Pitch Eric and Joey Boots to stop with the fighting. Howard asked what's going on. Gary said he's not sure but it's getting ugly. He said Fred wished AIDS on Joey Boots. Fred said he was tired and in a fit of anger when he did that. Fred said the top moment of the show was when Don Rickles was ignoring Letterman and talking to Howard.
Howard said that people think they can come in and out of the Wack Pack. He said once you're a made man it's hard to leave. Howard said he has so many people on the phone.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who said Letterman was great and so was James Taylor yesterday. Howard said he has Fire and Rain from that. He played the clip but it was Ed Torian the lie detector guy singing the song. Howard said James really was incredible. Howard said it was a very special morning to sit there with him.
Janks said he got douche chills hearing about how he heard the gun shots when John Lennon was shot. Howard said it was a very special show. Howard said he heard from people who aren't fans of James Taylor who said that they didn't know about the guy and it was great. Howard said that was really gratifying.
Howard said he has a bunch of email but he won't read them all. He said it might sound very self serving. Howard said he got a lot of mail about Letterman and Alex Trebek. Howard said some people asked about the Bad Company cover they played on Monday. Howard said it was ''Five Fingers of Death'' but it's Five Finger Death Punch.
Howard said Sour Shoes got some email too. He said that he went in and talked to him after the show. Howard said he could hear him singing through the wall when he was in the bathroom. He said he had to go say hello to him. He said he was locked in a room like a jail cell. He said he has gotten kind of macho. He said he's a big guy. Howard said he told him he did a great job and then Sour did that baby voice. He said he just shut the door. Howard said Sour got his car towed and he left the keys in the car.
Gary said the reason he didn't park the car is because he works at Roy Rogers and he had food in the car. He said he had chicken and things like that. Howard said Jason heard he had food in the car and wanted it. Howard said Sour Shoes doesn't have refrigeration in the car. Howard said Jason would have eaten that. Howard said Sour left the car running and they towed it. Gary said it took most of the afternoon to get it back. Gary said they were going to park the car for him and it was already being towed. Gary said they told Sour that his car was towed but he didn't know that it was gone. Howard said Sour's car is full of wood so that was actually his parent's car. Howard said that Sour kept petting Evil Dave who was there too. He said it's crazy.
Howard took a call from a Charlie Sheen impersonator who just said a few words about James Taylor and hung up.
Howard asked JD where this news report is from. JD said it's in Des Moines, Iowa. Howard said that the news was all over that kiss. He said people like that stuff. Robin said they loved it.
Howard said Dave actually called him yesterday. He said he was thanking him about the appearance. Howard said that Dave asked what he was talking about with him just leaving. Howard said he drives himself nuts trying to make his appearance good. Howard said he and Dave did get to speak. He said he told Dave that he knows he has like 8 shows left and it's got to be a difficult time. He thanked him for being so sweet to him. He said Dave just wanted off the phone. Howard said he had to tell him how much he means to him. Howard said he told Dave he hopes his retirement is good. Howard said he asked his wife to enjoy the painting and all of that. Howard said that was that. He said Dave was gone in a flash. He said he was glad he got to speak to him.
Howard said James was talking about doing Mockingbird and how he saw Inez and Charlie Foxx do it at the Apollo. Howard said years later he recorded it. Howard said he has a version of the song from the Apollo that got to James. Howard played the clip and said he has to download this for his own collection. Howard said it's great.
Howard said just imagine an 18 year old James Taylor seeing that and then recording it years later with Carly Simon. Howard said he was talking about his master class in excellence. Howard said he put in all of the ingredients to be successful. Howard said he was able to form his own sound but he studied the masters. Howard said he paints now and he talks to artists who learn art history. He said they learn it to study paintings to learn different styles. Howard said that people want to be stars right away but that's not the way it works. He said you have to get the experience.
Howard said he met this kid Matt Frattiano who is on American Idol in the top 3. Howard said he was also on America's Got Talent. Howard said that he hasn't seen Rumer Willis on Dancing with the Stars yet. Howard said she is his favorite. Howard said if she doesn't win, forget it.
Howard took another call from fake Charlie Sheen who said a few more words about James Taylor and hung up. Howard said he hasn't called in a long time.
Howard and Robin talked about Rumer Willis and her dad Bruce being in the audience there. Howard said that Bruce doesn't say much on the show.
Howard said his wife went to see 50 Shades of Grey alone. He said he was kind of curious about it so he bought it on iTunes. Howard said he watched it on his iPad. Robin said that one is okay to watch on there. Howard said he will watch anything on the iPad. Howard said he put the movie on and he loved it. Howard said he can't wait for the sequel. Howard said he loves Dakota Johnson. Howard said she is sexy. Robin said she will never work again. Robin said it didn't look real to her when she bit her lip. Howard said he thought that was hot. Howard said he loved her in it. Howard said she started out kind of plain and she got hotter and hotter. Robin said she just wore glasses. Howard said he doesn't care. Howard said he thought the movie was good. Robin didn't like it. Howard said she'll see the sequel. Robin said she hasn't even seen Mockingjay. She said you can't drag her to see everything. Howard said that it was a good movie. Robin said it was not good. Howard said it was good and if he says that then it's good.
Howard said the movie wasn't porn either. He said it was soft core if anything. Robin said it was porn. Howard said if you want to hear porn then you have to hear this clip that Sal found. JD got on his microphone and said he actually found it. Howard said that JD is a perv then.
Howard asked Benjy if he's gotten a grip on himself yet. Benjy stuttered so Howard goofed on him and told him to get it together. Howard said he has to go get laid. Benjy told him not to make fun of him. Howard said he has to go out and have some fun. Howard said it's weird seeing him in there like this. Howard told him to be a man. Benjy said he is a man. He said that doesn't mean he has to do what he says. Howard said he has to move on. Benjy told him not to tell him how to deal with it. He said he has to deal with it in his own way. Howard said he has to forget this girl.
Howard took another call from fake Charlie Sheen who sounded like he was in a police chase. He hung up after a few seconds. Howard said he sounds like a masculine man.
Howard asked Fred about what he thinks. Fred said he thinks that he has to move on. Benjy said that it's not their business. Gary said that Benjy made it their business by putting it all on the air. Howard said that he brings it into work and pouts. Howard said he has things going on in his life that they don't know about. Benjy said he knows about stuff in his life. Howard told Fred to hit the vortex button. Robin said she didn't make this kind of noise and she had cancer. Howard said Robin was on death's door. Robin said that Benjy is acting all sad. That's what they're noticing. Fred played the Vortex clip and stopped with the Benjy thing.
Howard said he has this porn clip to play. Howard said it's a woman choking on a guy's cock. In the clip the woman was making some wild sounds. Howard said this stuff doesn't turn him on. Howard asked who found the drink the pee thing. JD said he can guess who that was. Howard said that was Sal. He said Sal loves that kind of stuff. Howard said he's not sure what Sal is into.
Howard said Sal wrote a song for Robin and it was so disturbing that he didn't want to play it. Howard said that it's really disturbing. Howard said that he wrote it but you have to be sick to even write it. Howard said you have to hear this. Howard played the song and Sal was singing about pissing into Robin's mouth. Howard said it only gets worse. Sal was singing about turning Robin's mouth into a toilet seat. Howard said that's Sal's fantasy. He said he's worse than Benjy, JD and Ralph all put together. Howard said he would never think about that. Howard said he'd feel bad for a woman who had to drink his pee. Robin said he also thinks that the woman is going to like it. Howard said his fantasy is that he's going to dominate a woman but it's the other way around with his wife. Howard played another song Sal did where he sang about peeing on a girl.
Howard said Charlie Sheen is back on the phone. He took that call from Fake Charlie who said he is living on urine. He said he had to take a shit and hung up again. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and said that Ronda Rousey is beautiful and also one of the most dangerous women. Howard said he was watching some of her fights last night. He said that being able to beat up someone and protect yourself must be a tremendous feeling. Ronda said that her mom told her a story about making a big presentation when she was an engineer and she looked at everyone and thought about how she could kick the shit out of everyone in the room. That made all of her anxiety go away. Howard said her mom was a big Judo fighter. Ronda said that she was.
Howard said Ronda is on the cover of Sports Illustrated. He said that she is named the most dominant fighter out there. Howard said her big move is dislocating someone's shoulder or elbow. She said she can do that. She said that's what her mom taught her.
Howard said he wants to go through her whole life. Howard said the whole idea of learning Martial Arts is very tricky. Howard said his kids took martial arts. Howard said that there are a lot of shitty teachers out there. Howard said that many people who take it don't feel like they can protect themselves. Howard said that some people can get a black belt and it's almost like taking ballet. Ronda said you have to do research and shop around. Howard asked how you evaluate the teachers. He said there are no standards. Ronda said you don't know if teachers at school are good either. Howard said there is some testing thoguh. Ronda said a teacher is a teacher. She said you can pretty much tell.
Howard asked Ronda if she worries about ruining her looks by getting punched in the face. Howard said that he worries about that. He said it has to be a tough business. Howard asked if she has that fear. Ronda said she's in the prime of her life already so she doesn't fear that. She said there's no reason to put a perfect body in the ground.
Howard asked Ronda if her looks are important. Ronda said they are and that's why she trains so hard. She said that way no one can hit her.
Howard said there were people who were able to beat her in the Olympics. Howard asked if she worries about the getting into MMA or Ultimate Fighting. Ronda said that she doesn't worry. She said that style of Judo won't work in MMA. She said that she tore up her knee at 16 so she spent a whole year of doing just ground work. She said Judo is about the takedown part. She said she was forced to be 50/50 and that's not common. Howard said that confuses some of her opponents. She said you only have a second to make a move and not many people can take her down.
Howard asked if Ronda lifts weights at all. She said not at all. She said she shadow boxes with some weights but she doesn't lift. She said she doesn't need to stack on muscle. Howard said she must train every day. She said she does 2-3 hours a day every day of the week.
Ronda said that she only has one free day this month. She said she just face plants and doesn't move for that day. Robin asked what other medium she's competent in other than Judo. Ronda said she had all of the take downs and she didn't know how to hit anyone. She said that she learned how to do that.
Howard said Ronda's book is called ''My Fight / Your Fight''. Howard said that she was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and that kept her from speaking until she was 6 years old. Ronda said that her mom was very concerned about that. She said they thought she was deaf for a while. She said that she didn't speak but she had an inner dialog going the whole time.
Howard said that her dad was telling her to snap out of it but you can't just do that. She said that was his way of being encouraging.
Howard said Ronda's dad injured his back while sledding. Ronda said that he pretty much deteriorated after that. She said that they lost him eventually to that. She said he wanted to go out on his own terms. Howard said he committed suicide. Howard said there is no way to recover from that. Ronda said she didn't even know that he was sick. She said that he didn't want them to worry. She said she thought everything was fine. Then one day she found out it wasn't.
Howard said that you have to be a special guy to date someone who can kick your ass. Ronda said that her mom threw him down on the sand once when they first started dating and he loved it.
Howard asked Ronda more about her dad and she said that he didn't want their memories to be him laying in bed with tubes coming out of him. Howard asked if she's angry at him for doing that. She said she would have done the same thing. Howard asked how old she was. She said she was 8. Howard said that he's be angry if his dad did that at 8. Ronda said the thing that makes her crazy is that he was in a lot of pain every day and couldn't show it. She said she understands the whole thing and why he did what he did.
Howard asked if she got any therapy or help after that. Ronda said that her mom was a psychologist but she had them go see another guy. She said her mom was smarter than this guy so she didn't want to talk to him. She said she would rather tell stories to someone who cares about her instead of someone who is paid to.
Howard said Ronda was swimming and then she wanted to become a Judo champion like her mother. Ronda said her mother tried to talk her out of it. She said she started doing Judo and she realized she wanted to do that. She said that she wanted to be the best in the world at it.
Howard said you have to have tremendous drive to do that. Howard said her mom used to wake her up by throwing her into an arm lock. Ronda said that's a strategy that her mom learned from her coach. Howard asked how often that happened. She said it wasn't every morning but she would do it once in a while. Ronda said she had to slip out and she'd have to do an arm bar to get out of it. Howard said it remind him of Kato in The Pink Panther movies.
Howard said Ronda stayed motivated and she trained to be in the Olympics. Howard said she tells a story in her book about being in school and some boy was fucking with her in school. She said she doesn't remember what he was doing but it was something about him being mad at her for not hanging out with him or something. She said that he grabbed her by the throat from the front. Howard asked what happened to that little fuck. Ronda said she threw a move on him that knocked him to the pavement. She said that the back of his head was split open and he had to go to the hospital.
Howard asked what it's like when you feel that adrenalin from being able to handle yourself like that. Howard said those fights go like one second. Ronda said that kids thought it was really cool but she just anted to get out of there.
Howard said there was another incident where she used that stuff in school. She said that she played the bassoon and someone made fun of her over that. She said it was handled in a similar way. She said this girl was taller and bigger than her. She said the girl grabbed her when she was talking to another girl. She said that they were throwing stuff at her and she just turned on them and knocked the girl down. She said they left her alone after that. Howard said he is so bad at fighting. Howard said he had zero wins and 9 million losses. Howard said he went to a Judo class and he was afraid to learn. Howard said that's why he's so admiring of her fortitude to go forward with this.
Howard asked who the trainer was that took her in and turned her into this world class fighter. She said that it was Big Jim Pedro. She said that her mom knew the guy. She said that she basically dropped out of school too. Howard said that she devoted her life to Judo and became an Olympic star. Howard said that it's crazy her mom let her do that. Ronda said that it is kind of nuts. She said that her mom did it all at once. She said that she's exceptional and doesn't realize it.
Howard asked Ronda about getting into a weight class and dieting. She said she had to do that. Howard said that must be hard. Ronda said that's an issue no one talks about. Howard said that she had to throw up food to get to the right weight. She said that she'd get yelled at if she wasn't in the right weight class. She said she was berated for not eating right.
Howard said it has to be tough on a young girl. Howard said no one was giving her advice on nutrition. Ronda said that she thought she was only good looking if she was at the exact weight she was supposed to be.
Howard asked Ronda about being called Miss Man when she was younger. Howard said she had to feel more self conscious from that. She said that she had cauliflower ears at 16. She said that is really hard to get rid of. She said that people thought she had some kind of disease. She said if you did Judo then you were a dork and if you had ears that were messed up you were a mutant.
Howard asked Ronda about getting $10,000 to compete in the Olympics and that's all she got. She said that she was taxed on it so it was like $6,000 after that. Howard asked if she watched Foxcatcher. She said that she did. Howard said that most athletes don't have financial support. He said that she got out with a Bronze and got 10 grand. Then she's a hero for the country but she has to go work at McDonald's. She said it wasn't McDonald's but she was a cocktail waitress. Howard said she's hot and he can imagine some dude getting fresh with her and she smacks the guy in the head. She said she got her ass grabbed all the time and she wasn't able to do a thing about it. She said she had to keep the job.
Howard said that he was watching her doing a photo shoot and she has no idea she has a great ass. Howard said she really does. Howard asked if she saw 50 Shades of Grey. She said she hasn't read the book or seen the movie yet. Howard said he can imagine her in that movie beating the shit out of the dude.
Howard asked if she's like superman and she has to hide her powers. Howard said he has to use his powers for good only. Ronda said that it would be like Clark Kent going around bragging that it was him doing all of those things. She said that she would want to do that.
Howard said Ronda figures out that she can try out Ultimate Fighting. She said it was actually grappling. She said that's what she tried first. She said it was No Gi Grappling.
Howard asked if it's hard to date her. She said she is single so maybe it is. She said that she gets offers. She said she's so shy in that area that even if she wants to go out she'll say no when she really wants to.
Howard asked if it's tough being a female fighter because she has breasts. She said she would rather have tits than nuts. Ronda said she has gotten kneed in the crotch before. She said that there's one person she really hates for that.
Howard said he read about one of Ronda's fights and she had her shoulder dislocated. She just popped it back in. She said that she has had them dislocated before but that fight he's talking about was her elbow. She said she had to shove it back into the socket. She said that you move your arm around until it finds its home. Howard said she has said she would rather kill herself than tap out of a fight.
Howard asked why her family was so upset about her getting into MMA. Ronda said that her mom thought it was like Foxy Boxing because she didn't know anything about it.
Howard asked if she finds MMA fighting more exciting than boxing. He said Mayweather and Pacquiao got paid a ton of money to fight. Ronda said there is less neurological damage in MMA than in boxing. Howard said it seems pretty rough to him. Ronda said that the smaller gloves are safer for you neurologically. She said that you win in boxing by brain injury. She said that taking those shots over a long period of time are worse than getting knocked out with one punch.
Howard asked if the pay is okay in MMA. Ronda said it is. She said that she can make a living at it. Howard asked what kind of bread you can make. Ronda said she doesn't like to talk too much about that. She said that she's very well taken care of. Howard asked what the scale is. She said she's very comfortable. She said she thinks she's the highest paid in the MMA. Robin asked if men get paid more. She said she doesn't know exactly what they get so she's not sure. She said she suspects that if they have more fights they might make more.
Howard said he read that her mom would come in and psych her up for fights. Ronda said her mom would drive her around and those were her favorite parts of spending time with her. She said that she would tell her all of the reasons why she was going to win the nationals. She said that was the best. She said she'd tell her things about how her hair could reflect the light into their eyes and things like that. Howard said her mom really wanted her to win. Howard asked if she ever resented her for that. She said not at all. She said her mom did that herself and she wanted to be like her.
Howard asked if her mom was tough on her when she'd lose. She said she was but she didn't hit her or anything. She said that if she got a bad call her mom would get upset. She said that she'd walk off the mat pissed off and her mom would tell her that she deserved to lose if she put that fight into anyone else's hands.
Howard asked who has the balls to fight her. Ronda said that she has a fight coming up with Miesha Tate and called her a cunt. Howard talked to her about that for a short time. Ronda said that Miesha seems to be worse when she's around her boyfriend. She said that she once said that she could beat up both her and her boyfriend in the same night. Ronda said one night they stayed up all night defending the boyfriend on Twitter even thoguh Miesha had a fight the next day.
Howard asked Ronda about being in Expendables 3. She said she's also in Furious 7 and also in the Entourage movie that's coming out this summer. Howard asked if she wants to be an action star. She said that she knows she has a limited time in fighting so it would be nice to be in something like that. She said that Stallone fought for her to get in the Expendables movie. Howard asked if she loves fighting so much and how long she thinks she can go. She said that she thinks that you have a certain amount of ring time. She said if she can come out unscathed early then she can go on for a long time.
Howard said Ronda likes to have sex before a fight because it gives her testosterone. She said that her godfather is a doctor and he gave her the sex talk growing up. She said that he was the one who told her about the testosterone thing.
Howard asked who she gets that fix from. She said that she hasn't been able to have pre-fight sex since that day she said that publicly. She said that she hasn't been with a guy for a while now. Howard asked if it's more than a year. She said it's less than a year. Howard asked what the story is there. Ronda said she doesn't know. She said she's had a parade of assholes apparently. Howard asked if it's hard to find a good guy. Ronda said she has made unique mistakes every time. Howard asked if they have hurt her emotionally. She said when it comes to the heart she is a big pushover. She said she takes too much shit that she shouldn't.
Howard asked Ronda about catching a guy taking pictures of her naked. She said that she's not the girl you want to do that to. She said that she didn't want to beat the shit out of him but he was blocking her way out of the apartment. She said she hates that and she had to get out. She said that she will try to get you out of the way if you do that. Howard said the guy took hundreds of nudes. She said she thought that he was sending texts and he was actually taking nudes. She said that he knew how she felt about it.
Howard asked how she found out. Ronda said she was doing a lot of social media about a fight she had coming up. She said she was downloading a picture from Facebook and she tried to save it. She said she saw the saved pictures and they were all ass pictures. She said she never goes through a computer but when she saw that it just fell into her lap. She said that she was wondering who's ass that was. Howard said she must have freaked out. Ronda said this guy was so nice and tried to make her happy. She said she wondered why she won't date this guy when he was so nice. She gave him a chance. She said he was kind of boring and then it got to a point where she just hated him. She said that he was like that annoying kid who sucks up to the teacher. She said then she saw the pictures and she knew that he was just playing the perfect guy. She said that she destroyed everything she saw but they could still be on the phone. She said she got the ESPN body offer and she did that to get it out there. She said that's one of the reasons she wrote the book too.
Howard asked Gary what he has to say. Gary said that they're getting bombarded asking when she's going to fight Cyborg. Howard said he doesn't know who that is. Howard said he likes this kind of fighting but he kind of lost interest for some reason. Ronda said she fights at 135 pounds and Cyborg fights at 145. She said that she got charged with using steroids. Gary said she looks nothing like Ronda. Howard asked if she has to come down to her weight. Ronda said she's not going to do back flips for a cheating con-artist. She said that she could get off of them and come down to her weight. Howard said she could just beat the shit out of her at 145. Howard said she has a way of manipulating someone and pushing them around. Howard said she could kill them anyway. Ronda said that this chick has had advantages that she hasn't earned. Howard asked if she will fight her at 145. Ronda said no. She said that she has to get down to 135 and she has to be clean. Howard asked Ronda to go beat up Fred and Benjy for him. Fred said Benjy is the wrestler there. Howard and Ronda spent a little more time on Cyborg.
Howard asked if Ronda ever tries to go in with new moves that no one has ever seen. She said she has done that. She told Howard some of the moves that she has come up with in the ring.
Howard asked how she'd feel about fighting a transgender fighter. Ronda said that it has to be taken on a case by case basis. She said if they put you on hormone suppressant therapy early on in life then it might be fair.
Howard asked if she has ever had an opponent fart in her face. She said that hasn't happened. She said people do fart in training on accident though.
Howard asked if she is very girly or is she always a fighter. He asked if she waxes. Ronda said ''Well...'' and didn't really answer. Howard asked if she likes flowers. She said they're cute. She said that she's not sure what's really girly. She said maybe she's not that girly. Howard asked if she wears high heels. She said she does that sometimes. She said she doesn't really go out for fun and wear heals.
Howard asked Ronda if they fell in love and they're in bed and he's rubbing the boobs a little bit and he touches her vagine. Howard asked if he smacks her ass is he dead? Ronda said that she feels like a lot of women will put up with a lot in bed that they won't put up with other places. She said that she'd be up for that. Howard said that he imagines her picking him up and throwing him out a window. Ronda said that when she goes home she wants to be babied. She said she's the tough girl at work all day.
Howard asked if she would put up with a skinny geek like him. She said as long as he has confidence she's for it. Howard said forget that then.
Howard gave Ronda a plug for her book and warned guys to date her carefully. Howard said she's a great catch. Ronda said she's trying to find a good guy. Howard said they have to screen these guys through them. Howard said maybe her mom can pick them. Howard said he heard that her mom calls all of her boyfriends ''Bob'' because they're not worth learning names until they're married. Ronda said that's what she did with all of her siblings too.
Howard said that he wants someone to date her and tell him what's going on. Robin said Benjy is single now. Howard said he would never make it with her. Howard thanked Ronda for coming in. He said he knows she has millions of fans but she has to stay off Twitter. She said she hasn't checked Twitter mentions for over a year. Howard said the book sounds fascinating. He said that we'll all get it. They went to break after that.
Fred said he looked up that Cyborg fighter and she looks like a dude. Howard said that Ronda is a tough girl.
Howard said he has to get to a bunch of things. He said that Scott Schmaren wants to hypnotize Ronnie so he will cum in his pants. Howard said they want to see that ''silver dollar'' in there.
Howard said that Bad Company song was actually ''Five Finger Death Punch'' and not Five Fingers of Death like he said earlier. Fred took the blame for getting that wrong.
Howard took another call from fake Charlie Sheen who said that he thinks he punched himself in the face. The sound of a chimpanzee could be heard in the background. He mumbled ''first time caller long time...'' and the phone cut off.
Howard said Marianne Garvey wrote a great article about why his studio chair belongs in the Smithsonian. Robin said she mentioned that yesterday.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he has a problem with Marianne. He said he simply asked her if she read his tweet about... Howard said he really is a boring caller. Jeff said he thinks that Elisa should be cunt punted. Howard said no woman should be cunt punted. Jeff said he's on Benjy's side. Benjy said fuck you for saying that. Jeff said he's still on his side. They played Jeff's them song and let him go.
Howard said on HowardStern.com they have video of Sour Shoes petting Evil Dave like an animal.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he would like to submit his application for Ronda's stud farm. He described himself saying he has an above average penis size. Howard said he was going to give this guy tickets to the James Taylor concert but he knows he won't fly in. The caller said he would. Howard said he does have a couple pair to give away. Howard said that the concert is at the Apollo theater. Howard said he can't go because it starts too late. Howard said that the concert will air live on the James Taylor channel.
Howard said James was asking him before the interview about who he would ask to help him find music that's a little hard to find. Howard said he gave him a couple of pointers but he told him not to ask him. Howard said he was trying to get his phones to work there yesterday.
Fake Charlie was on the phone again. He said he wanted some James Taylor tickets and hung up as he was singing and mumbling.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said Howard looked dapper on Dave. He said he did a great job. Howard said that he thought he looked terrible. Howard said he tries but he wishes he was a little better looking. Howard said that when Dave rejected him he was a little let down. Howard said he just looks horrible. Howard said they played a clip of him on The Five yesterday and the woman he likes, Kimberly Guilfoyle, said she wouldn't turn away like Dave did. Howard said he is in love with his wife but if he was single he would pick up the phone and call her. He said she is so feminine. Howard said the other guys on that show must want to fuck her. Howard said that is a real woman. Robin said Howard is all talk and he won't do anything that he's saying he would. Howard said she's right. He said she has seen him in action. Howard said that Kimberly gets angry and she knows things. Howard said he thought she was going to break someone's neck the other night. Howard made up what a conversation between the two of them might be like. Howard said she is a catch. Robin mentioned Benjy again. Howard said Benjy is all upset there are no other women out there. Benjy said he's dating but not making a big deal out of it.
Bobo asked Howard if he wanted to dance with Dave the other night and then tried the kiss. Howard said he wanted to do the kiss. Bobo mentioned something about Dave sprinting out on stage at the start of the show and Howard cut him off and played him of with his theme song.
Howard took another Fake Charlie Sheen call. Charlie said he has found god and screamed about that for a couple of seconds before hanging up.
Howard said they have to get to Ronnie. Gary suggested they take a break. Howard said he'll do that and then get to the 70 year old man. Fred played a bunch of clips of Ronnie talking about sex stuff. They went to break after that.
Howard said that Scott wanted to hypnotize Robin. Scot said that she has talked about the spiritual stuff a lot so he'd like to get her to talk about her past life. Howard said Sal was a turtle.
Howard said he has worked with hypnotists before but Scott seems to be really good. Scott thanked him for that. Howard said that Scott said he could make Ronnie cum in his pants so he got his attention. Scott said that you can have a wet dream like when you were a kid so he thinks he can do that with Ronnie.
Howard said Scott has been trying to help Shuli with his smoking. Howard said he heard that he's still smoking but he has cut back. Howard said that he heard he's working with Sal too but that's a big secret.
Howard asked how long this thing will take with Ronnie. Scott said he really doesn't know. He said he asked Ronnie to have a sexual experience he had as a kid. He said he has a lot of stories from back then. He said Ronnie is on the couch now. He told Ronnie to go back to when he was 14 years old and this is real. Scott told Ronnie to think about this other 14 year old girl who has the dirty blond hair that he loves. He takes her back to his house because his parents aren't home.
Howard said he just came himself. Scott got back to Ronnie and told him what he was doing. He's in bed with this girl Kathleen. Ronnie started cracking up. He said that the dog, Sporty, is watching. Ronnie said the dog has to sit at the edge of the bed. Howard told him to throw the dog out. Ronnie said he's a good guy. Howard said just when he thought Ronnie couldn't get any creepier...
Scott continued with Ronnie and told him that he can feel her, smell her... He can feel her hand on his cock now. Ronnie said she gives a really good hand job. Ronnie was talking more about Sporty being there. Howard said he's not going to be able to cum with the dog there. Ronnie was cracking up thinking about the dog. He said the dog tires to lick your asshole. Scott told Ronnie to go back to Kathleen but Ronnie kept talking about the dog. He said the dog is fucked up and trying to smell his ass. He was cracking up laughing. Scott asked why the dog is there. Ronnie told him to ask the dog, why the fuck is he asking him?
Howard had Scott ask Ronnie to talk about what's going on with the girl. Ronnie said she had that catholic school girl outfit on. He had her take that off. Ronnie said she's about 5'5'' with dirty blond hair. He said she's real cute. Scott asked if she is naked. Ronnie said she wears this stupid girdle thing. He was cracking up again. Howard said Ronnie is gone. Howard asked if a 14 year old wears a girdle. Howard said maybe she went to the future to get Spanx.
Scott asked Ronnie what's going on. Ronnie said they made out for a while. He said her hand might be on his dick. Scott asked if it feels good. Ronnie said of course it does. He said it's a girl's hand. He said Sporty is smelling his asshole again. He cracked up laughing. Scott asked if he is more interested in Sporty. Ronnie said that's his dog. He asked what his fucking problem is, dude.
Howard said if he was there with Kathleen he wouldn't be thinking about Sporty. Scott asked what's going on now. Ronnie said he's fingering her and she's really wet. He wasn't getting into it as much as they had hoped. Scott asked him to keep going. Ronnie said that he's fingering her and she's rubbing his cock. Ronnie said she blew a load because his hand is soaking wet. Ronnie said he's fingering her and his hand is wet. Ronnie asked what the fuck is wrong with this guy. Scott asked what happened to Ronnie. Ronnie said it took a while and things happened.
Scott asked Ronnie to go through it with her and talk it out. He wanted him to smell her, taste her and feel her. Ronnie said she's rubbing his dick. Ronnie said it feels good. He said it feels really good. Ronnie told her to keep rubbing. Scott asked what else he has to say. Ronnie burst out laughing again. Howard asked what happened. Ronnie said he has no fucking clue. Howard asked if he blew a load. Ronnie said not yet. Robin asked if that's as far as he got. Ronnie said no, are you kidding me? Ronnie said he got anal from her. He said that she was a catholic school girl. Howard asked if he has his dick in her ass now. Ronnie said he does. He said she never really made any noise. He said that was the nice thing about this girl.
Scott told Ronnie to take a deep breath. He said when he touches him on his forehead things are going to get more intense and more powerful. Scott did that and Ronnie said she's rubbing harder now. He said she's not saying anything. Ronnie said he didn't say shit either. He said it feels good. Scott told him to feel the sensations. He said he's 14 years old so it's easy. Ronnie told her to keep going. Ronnie said he's gotta go. Howard said they have success. Ronnie ran out of the room. Gary said that Ronnie ran to the bathroom to clean up. Howard said Scott is a genius.
Gary said he's never seen Ronnie move so fast. He said he tried to chase him but he was already in the bathroom. Howard said this hypnotism is such a great thing. Howard said he thought that Scott was going to have to jerk him off. Scott said that never would have happened.
Howard took a call from a fake Arnold Schwarzenegger who said that was hot. He said they should have had a warning before.
Ronnie came back in and Howard asked what happened. Ronnie said that things got hot and crazy in there. He said he feels better. Howard asked if he dropped a load. Ronnie said he doesn't know. Ronnie said he had to clean up in the bathroom. Howard asked if he's okay. Ronnie said it's hot in there. Robin asked where the girl is. Ronnie asked what girl. Robin said the girl who was with him. Scott said Ronnie has no idea what's going on.
Howard asked how Sporty is. He said that's a really shitty name for a dog. Scott said Ronnie told him it was a beagle.
Howard asked what Scott did with Sal. Scott said Sal was going to come in and be missing his penis. Howard asked if Ronnie is okay. Scott said he is. Howard asked how he cleaned up. Ronnie said he didn't want to say. Howard said don't shake his hand.
Howard gave Scott another plug for his web site. He wondered if they should do Sal now. Scott said they can do that. He brought Ronnie out of his hypnosis. Howard asked how he was doing. Ronnie said it's fucking hot in there. Howard said he's no different. He asked if he remembers what happened. Ronnie said he was just in the bathroom. He said he had to clean up some mess. Howard asked what mess he's talking about. Ronnie said ''Dude, come on.'' Howard asked if it was awesome. Ronnie said it was weird. He said that it must be building up from last night. He said this guy fucked him up so bad yesterday. He said he went home and had anxiety that was out of control. He said he fell asleep for an hour and Stephanie came home and he was insane all over her. He said he fell asleep and woke up an hour later and it started all over again. He said she was wondering what the fuck was going on.
Howard said Ronnie came last night and today too. Ronnie said he didn't finish last night. He said he was all over her but nothing really ended. He said that he fell asleep and came to work. Howard asked if he will be okay. Scott said he'll make sure he's fine. Howard asked if he's relaxed now that he got a load out. Ronnie said he's so hot right now. He said the anxiety is gone. Howard said he was so worked up over it that he finally got the poison out.
Scott asked if 14 was his first time. Ronnie said Kathleen was his girl. Howard said they'll bring in Sal and get Ronnie out. Ronnie said he wants to be in there. Gary asked if he really had anal at 14. Ronnie said he did. Howard said no one knew about that back then. Howard said Ronnie may have invented anal. Howard said he didn't know about anal at 16. He said he barely knew about the other thing.
Howard had the guys bring in Sal. Scott had Sal close his eyes. He had him relax and put him in hypnosis. Scott told Sal to go deeper and deeper. He told him in a moment he will open his eyes and his penis and balls will be gone. It'll be like someone stole it. He had Sal open his eyes. Sal asked what's going on. Then he asked what the fuck he did. Sal was looking all over for his cock. Sal said his cock is gone and asked where it is ''you fuck!'' Sal said there's nothing there and asked him to please put his cock back. Scott had him close his eyes and tried to calm him down. Sal was crying. Howard said he thought he was kidding. Sal sounded like he was really upset. Scott said he wasn't expecting that. He said he was going to blame it on Robin.
Scott gave Sal his cock back. Howard asked if Sal is okay. Sal said he's not okay. He said ''Thank god my cock is back.'' He asked how he did that. Scott calmed Sal down and Howard said he thinks every day that his cock is gone.
Scott relaxed Sal and then Howard told him to give him a vagina. Scott told Sal that everything was fine. Sal said he had to go back to work. Howard asked if he's okay. Sal said he's fine. Howard said he really is hypnotizable. Ronnie told Sal to put his cock on Scott. Sal said he loves the guy but that was crazy. Howard asked what he works on in private. Sal said he tries to work on being a better person and a better worker. Robin asked how long he has to work on that because this was such a big reaction that it must happen quickly. Howard said he should be able to cure him in one session. Scott said they work on changing his values and beliefs. He said they're working on that so he can work on his goals and visions.
Howard asked if Sal is extra stupid for falling for this since it's so easy to do it. Scott said it has nothing to do with intelligence.
Howard asked Sal what he saw down there. Sal said he didn't see anything and it was really scary. He said it was bad news. Sal said he wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Howard said he's glad he's back. Howard said he thought he was going to die. Sal said he thinks he's fine.
Scott asked what it looked like down there. Sal said it looked like a Ken doll with nothing there. Gary said Scott was traumatized by that reaction. Scott said Sal had such a look of terror in his face. Howard said that he really doesn't need a cock. Sal said he needs it for the show.
Howard said that Ronnie did a good job. Howard asked if he has a mess in his underpants. Ronnie said he's damp. He said he cleaned up thoguh. Ronnie said he cleaned it up. Howard said he should wrap some tissue around his cock. Ronnie said when he gets out there maybe he will. Howard asked Scott to get all of these thoughts out of their heads.
Howard said Ronnie was driving like a nut yesterday and blaming the hypnotism. Ronnie said he was worked up from that.
Howard said Sal's reaction was scary. Ronnie said that he'd like to see them put cement in his asshole next time. Howard said Ronnie is wet in his pants right now. He asked if he has any stains on his pants. Ronnie said no. He got to the bathroom in time. Howard said something came out. Ronnie said it came out when he was out there. He said he got it in the tissues. He said he didn't make it all the way. Sal said he's going to throw up. Ronnie said Sal has the weirdest looking cock. Howard said Sal had his pants off and thought he didn't have a cock. Howard said he thought he was kidding but he realized that no one can scream that long. Howard asked if he's okay. Sal said he's fine.
Howard said Ronnie came in the guest bathroom. He said he's the second guy to do that. He said Sal did too. Sal said he did it in his office, not the bathroom. Sal said don't touch his keyboard. Howard gave Scott another plug and wrapped up with the guys. They went to break after that.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who apologized to Benjy for what he said earlier. Jeff said James Taylor was so good. Howard said he was. Jeff said the show has been good all week. Howard thanked him for that. Howard said he'll take that.
Howard said that they're bringing Sal back down to earth back there. Robin said that was one of the scariest reactions she's ever seen. Robin said that she wasn't sure if Scott would get him back. Howard said a lot of people don't believe in hypnosis but he does. Howard said someone on America's Got Talent does that this season. He said the guy got Howie to shake hands. Howard said Howie was pissed when he found out.
Howard said it's time for news. They played Robin into the news with a song parody. Robin started her news with a story about how we have a week that's a palindrome. Robin said it's like a word you can spell the same both forward and backward. Robin said that the first one of the week was 5-10-15 and then 5-11-15 and 5-12-15 and then 5-13-15. Robin said that they're all palindromes. Robin said this goes on and on. Howard said this is very exciting.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she held on all day. She said that Ronda Rousey is great. She said her son turned her on to her. She was going on about how great Howard was about the Letterman appearance. Howard said he pulled up over there and Mariann had been there since 2. Howard said it was his Beatles moment. Howard played some audio of Mariann freaking out when he showed up. Howard said this is his big moment. Howard said she stands across the street doing that. She was screaming his name. Howard said he signed some stuff and went to see her. Howard said he had to do that. Howard said Medicated Pete was there too. Howard said Shuli turned off his headphones because she was so loud.
Robin read about how they executed the defense chief in North Korea because he fell asleep in a meeting. Robin said they killed him just for falling asleep in a meeting. Howard said the guys there should pay attention to that. Howard tried taking a call from Hanzi but he was sleeping. Robin said he wouldn't last a day in North Korea.
Robin asked what an Atomic Wedgie is. Howard said he thinks it's when two guys pick you up and the underwear tears in your asshole. Robin said this is where they pull it so high they can wrap it over your head. Howard said that's nice. Robin said a man did that to his step father and it killed the guy. Robin said this man was in a fight with his step father and he texted a friend that he had nothing to lose after doing it. Robin said that he was charged with first degree murder.
Howard took a call from Ralph who congratulated him on having the creepiest guy in America working for him. He said that Ronnie thing earlier was really creepy. He said the 14 year old anal was one thing but there's something weird going on with the dog there. Howard said that hypnotism is amazing. Ralph said he thinks you have to be weak minded for that. Howard said he used to think that too. Ralph asked if Howard can imagine cumming in his pants anywhere. Howard said no but he brought up Howie Mandel. Ralph said that guy is weak minded too.
Howard took another call from fake Charlie Sheen. Charlie said that they bugged his house. He had something weird going on there and hung up again. Howard asked why they don't hear from the real Charlie Sheen. Robin said maybe he learned his lesson. Howard said there was a period where he just seemed to go kablooey.
Robin read about Sandra Lee who is the girlfriend of Governor Cuomo. Robin said she's going to undergo a double mastectomy procedure. Robin said she found out she has breast cancer. Howard said that has to be really tough. He said that breasts are such a part of a woman's life. Howard said then you wonder if you'll still be attractive to your partner. Robin said that they can reconstruct a breast. Robin said everything was taken away in the past. Robin said it's better now than it was. Robin had some audio of Sandra talking about how women should be screened.
Howard said he has the top 5 songs and he only recognizes one song. Howard said Walk the Moon is at number 5. Howard said The Weeknd is number 4. He had Asian Pete singing that one. Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson were at number 3. Howard had Pete singing that one too. Howard said number 2 is Fetty Wap. Pete did the whole top 5 so Howard played him singing all of those songs. Howard said number 1 is Wiz Khalifa. Howard said it's funny how that sounds like Sam Smith. He said someone has a hit and everyone tries to sound like that.
Robin asked what percentage of people in the country are Jewish. Howard guessed 3 percent. Robin said it's 1.9 percent. Howard said you think there are more because they're a noisy group. Howard said that's the perception they have but there really aren't a lot of Jews. Robin said there are probably people who have never met a Jewish person. Howard said he has spent a lot of time in West Virginia and this guy he knew didn't know he was Jewish. He said he thought Jews had horns. Howard said the guy had no clue.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Eric who is a Jew. Howard said that he's also dull. Eric said that he and Elephant Boy made up on the show. Howard said he remembers that. Eric said Fred went behind his back and spoke about his mother again. Howard said he didn't know that. Eric said Fred is also talking about Joey Boots and his gayness. Howard said that Fred has done gay stuff too. Howard said that this stuff isn't really behind his back either. He said if it's on Twitter then it's for everyone to see. Howard said they don't have to attack each other like that. Howard said he has to hear both sides of the story. Eric said he and Matt Jacobs made up too.
Howard said he has some audio of Elephant Boy explaining why he's mad at Eric. Howard played that clip and Fred told the back story about him and Eric and Joey. Fred said things were said that were negative. He said Eric started to threaten him with violence and death. He said he didn't ignore him and he tried to make him realize that's not the way to do things. Howard said he thinks he got most of that. Howard said Fred claims that Eric was saying things and he fell into it. Then Eric started threatening death like he's done before to people. Howard said he goes too far all the time. Howard said that's alarming. Eric said he did not threaten him. Howard said he did threaten that other guy Matt Jacobs. Eric said he did but he apologized to him. Howard said he goes too far.
Shuli came in and said he gets calls from them all the time. He said that Eric always threatens people and he almost went to jail for that. Shuli said he told him he can't do this. Eric said he did threaten Matt but he apologized to him. He said the only time he did that with Fred was in the green room with Fred. Howard said he has to calm down. Shuli said no one is afraid of his threats because he can't even move. Shuli said he's told him to just to ignore these people. Howard said Eric is dull so he gets sucked in.
Howard asked Shuli how his smoking is going. Shuli said it was good at first but now he's smoking. He said it's a lot less now. He said he talks to Scott weekly about that.
Howard said that he can't have Eric and Matt come in. He said they were going to come in but then Eric threatened Matt. Howard said they can't have that going on. Eric said that they're friends now. Shuli told him to stop making excuses and stop threatening people. Robin asked if he'd be okay if Matt took his place. Eric said no one is taking his place. Howard said he has to think about that whole thing. Howard told him to have a good weekend. Howard let Shuli go too.
Robin read about an Amtrak derailment in Philadelphia. Robin said that 6 are dead and 140 others are injured. Robin said they found the black box for the train and they are thinking it may have been due to speed. Robin said it was coming out of a 70 MPH zone into a 50 MPH curve. Robin had some audio of someone talking about the crash. Fred also threw in Sal yelling ''My cock is gone!'' a bunch of times.
Howard asked what was better, when Sal was a turtle or when his cock was gone. Robin said the cock gone is better. Howard said he thinks she's right. They played that clip again. Robin had more train derailment clips for Howard to play. There were a bunch of people commenting on the crash.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who said he thinks that fake Gary got more work done than real Gary. Howard said he might be right.
Robin read a story about a girl who is alive because her parents shielded her from a tornado. Robin said that they think that the parents saved their 18 month old from dying in a tornado in Nashville. Robin said the infant wasn't injured at all. Howard said that's a tough story. Robin said it makes you wonder what will happen to that child. Howard said she may feel an empty hole in her heart the rest of her life. Robin said she could feel guilty too. Robin said they could have left her and saved their own lives.
Robin read a story about the countries with the best math and science educations. Howard guessed they were like China, Japan and Sweden. Robin said they are all in the Asian pacific. Robin said that Singapore is the best. Robin said Hong Kong, South Korea and Japan were up near the top. Robin said we're at like number 28.
Robin read a story about Tom Brady appealing the NFL's ruling on the deflated ball scandal. Robin said people are taking sides of course. Robin had some details about who is on his side and who is saying the NFL is right.
Robin read a story about a 19 year old being the mayor of a town in Maryland. Robin had some audio of him talking about being mayor of Indian Head.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he has seen the ads for the new Muppet show. Howard said he hasn't. He said he doesn't like the Muppets. Howard said he was a puppeteer as a child and he doesn't like a sock as a puppet. Howard said he thinks that they can be more imaginative with puppets. Howard said that the Muppets are very boring and too safe for him. The caller said it's supposed to be more racy than the other Muppet stuff. Howard said he doesn't like anything about them. Howard said they shouldn't be that famous. Howard said he doesn't care about the old show either. He said he doesn't want to learn from puppets either. Howard said he doesn't like it.
Robin read about the ticket sales and pay per view take for the Mayweather Pacquiao fight. Robin said they sold 16,000 tickets at the MGM Grand. Robin said that they had 4.4 million pay per view subscriptions. Robin said that it was a success everywhere but in the ring.
Robin asked if Howard is going to see Pitch Perfect 2. Howard said he will but he won't admit it. Howard said he loved the first one. Howard said he thought everyone was going to ridicule him for that but everyone else admitted they liked it too.
Robin read a story about a man who included his waitress in his will. Robin said he died last August and left the waitress $50,000. Robin said that he left her niece the same amount of money.
Robin read about Adam Sandler being on David Letterman last night. He did a song for Dave. Howard said he thought about doing a song but Rob Burnett told him everyone was doing a song. Howard said he wanted to do the song that Bette Midler did for Johnny Carson. Robin had the clip of Sandler singing his goodbye song to Dave. Howard said that's good. Robin said there are only 6 shows left. Howard said Yoko Ono was on too. He played a clip of her doing her bizarre ''singing'' and Robin said Adam's was much more personal. Robin said Bill Clinton was also on Letterman last night. She had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin said that she had a clip of Bruce Willis to play since Rumer Willis is going through on Dancing with the Stars. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon said he's not sure where to begin today. He asked Rahsaan what the poll is about today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''Whose 50 Shades Review do you agree with?'' The choices are:
Jon said he didn't see 50 Shades of Grey. He said his wife did but she didn't like it as much as the book. Wendi said she didn't get past the 7th chapter of the book. She said it wasn't that well written. She said that she heard the movie was horrible. Jon said Howard seems to like these kind of movies. He said that both Robin and Howard felt very strongly about the movie. Jon said he won't see it but he would like to know what the audience has to say.
Jon said that Scott Schmaren is with them now. Jon asked Scott if he expected that kind of reaction from Sal and Ronnie. Scott said he didn't. He said he thought Sal was going to have a heart attack and die. Jon said he has never seen Ronnie move so quickly. He said the thing with Sal is that people think that he puts things on. He said when you heard that scream you know he wasn't faking it. He said Scott was able to corral him and bring him back in. Scott said he had tears running down his face. He said he was able to bring him back though.
Jon said that Ronnie told everyone there that he had all of this anxiety and they didn't hear about the driving until today. He said that maybe his perceptions were altered in some way. Scott said he heard he made him crazy. He said last time he hypnotized him Ronnie had no recollection of what they did to him. He didn't even put that into his head.
Jon asked Wendi which one she finds creepier. Wendi said it has to be Ronnie. She said that he's said some strange things on the air.
Jon asked Scott about the people who are hypnotizable and how it's a low percentage of people. Scott said that they are out there but it doesn't work for everyone. He said that intelligence has nothing to do with it. He said that there is one guy who is a CEO of a billion dollar company. He said he'd like to try it on Robin. He said Sal is interesting too though. Jon said he thinks Scott did a great job today. They had to take a break after that.
Jon asked Katie if she finds Ronnie's sex tips enjoyable. She said she does. Gary said it's coming from a 65 year old man though. Gary said that with Ronnie he thinks about it because he's such a nice guy and this is the shit that's rattling around in his head. He said they don't get to hear it until he's hypnotized.
Katie said she was hypnotized to stop smoking and she believes in it. Gary said they have thought that it's people who are stupid that fall for it but that doesn't seem to be the case. Katie said that people who have high IQs can't get hypnotized from what she heard. Gary said that Howard thinks you should have so much on your mind that you can't be hypnotized. Jon said you have to be into it happening. Gary said he never was able to get it done to him. He said he had a lot of angst wondering what was happening on the air. He said when he did it outside of work he was hypnotized with 60 other people who were trying to stop smoking.
Jon said that when they put Ronnie under he always gets into weird details. He said that this time it was Ronnie talking about his dog Sporty sitting at the foot of the bed and laughing about it. Jon said he's not sure how the dog was involved. He said it's the little details that make it interesting. Wendi said it can be detrimental later on. Gary said he's with Ralph about the anal thing. He said a 14 year old getting anal in the 50s doesn't make sense.
Jon said people were afraid when Sal freaked out. Gary said Sal pulled his pants down and Scott looked scared. Gary said that Sal and Richard are the two whose penises he could pick out of a lineup. Gary said Sal always finds a way to pull it out. He said he has a lot of bits he does just to pull his dick out.
Jon took a call from a guy who said today's show was a home run. He said he hasn't laughed that hard in a long time. Jon said they had a packed show today. The caller said Ronnie is the biggest sexual deviant he knows other than himself. He wondered if Ronnie did something with Sporty. Gary said he thought that Sporty was licking his own ass but Jon thought that he was licking Ronnie's ass. Jon said who knows with him. They went to break after that.
Jon said Ronda talked about how she has trouble dating. He said when she was growing up her mom trained her in Judo and would wake her up in an arm lock and things like that. Jon said she did a good job with Howard today too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he was hypnotized into forgetting what happened the rest of the week. He said that the Ronnie and Sal hypnosis stuff was great. He said he lost it hearing that. He wondered if Sal was bullshit or not but when they couldn't get him to focus he knew it was real. Gary said that Howard was on the fence about bringing Sal in there. Gary said Sal didn't think they had to do it. He said that he wasn't looking to be on the air so that's how he knows it was real.
Jon said that Sal wrote a song about peeing on Robin and they always say that Sal is joking but the thought has to be there in some way for them to bring it up. Jon said it's not just made up. Wendi said that Sal won't settle for just warm tea being poured on him. Katie said she was hypnotized at 8 to stop peeing the bed and it worked. She said that it was her mom's idea. She said that she was probably sick of cleaning up her pee.
Gary said he thinks that Sal has become like Dexter. He sad that he used to tell them about his crazy thoughts but now he doesn't tell them. He said he thinks he hasn't changed a bit but he's able to fake it and fit into their world. Gary said he thinks that he's the same guy they knew 5 years ago. Gary said he doesn't think he was able to change that much.
Jon said that he wanted to talk about Howard doing his last appearance on Letterman. Jon asked Wendi about that. Wendi said that was a powerful episode. She said there should be kissing and there was. Jon said that kiss got a lot of press. Gary said he enjoyed the show. He said Dave looked really uncomfortable. Gary said that there is a very well known rule about not touching Dave's neck. He said that you can't touch him. He said Howard was doing all of that. Wendi said you have to do that. She said the world needs to see that.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard would get hypnotized to stick around at Sirius for a while. Gary said Howard would never do it. Jon said he thinks it would be very interesting if Robin got hypnotized. Jon said that Howard and Robin really got into it over the 50 Shades of Grey thing today. Gary said he hasn't seen the movie. Gary said Amy Schumer did a funny bit about women going to see it. He said he'll watch it some day and probably change the channel.
Katie said that she hasn't seen it or read the book. Gary said he's heard that there are way better books. Jon said it sold a lot of books. Jon said none of them have read it but they are all aware of it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he found it interesting when Ronda talked about beating up Miesha and making the fight last longer to give her more pain. Jon said he thought she looked great today and did a great job.
Jon asked Rahsaan for the results of the poll. Rahsaan said that 94 percent agreed with Robin about the movie. Wendi said she wasn't even able to finish the book. Katie said she dated a guy who produced the movie. Gary said he's sorry for bashing it. She said it's fine. The movie did fine according to Jon. He said there's no reason to apologize.
Gary said that he can agree with Howard about the movie Pitch Perfect. He said that the guys were all ashamed that they watched it but they all did.
Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology. He also gave Wendi and Katie plugs for their show season finales that are on tonight. They ended the show around noon.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon said that he wants to start off talking about Jimmy Kimmel. He said there was a missed opportunity there. He said there are times when you get golden opportunities and you have to take advantage of them. He said Hanzi called in and Jimmy gave him a put up or shut up. He asked him to write 5-10 jokes and to call back in. He was auditioning for a writer's spot. He said by the end of the show they never heard back from Hanzi. Jon said that he doesn't know if he could deal with that. He said maybe he doesn't want to be a writer. Gary said there are guys who sit in the basement and think they can be good. He said they gave Hanzi access to Jimmy and Jimmy would have read the jokes. If they were funny he would have used them. He said if they were any good he would have said there was something there.
Jon said it's different when you get called on the carpet. He said he thinks Hanzi blew it. Gary asked if it's a fear of failure there. Jim said he had nothing to lose. He said you have to follow through when you're asked to do something like that. He said Hanzi must be scared. Jon said this fell into his lap and he didn't deliver. He said you have to deliver in a situation like that.
Gary said he has had really solidi writers ask him to get stuff to Jimmy. He said he can't do that. Hanzi was able to leap frog over that whole thing and got right to Jimmy.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they think there might be a chance for Jimmy to come back on the show. He thought he was great. He said he knows he has another career. Gary said it's about Jimmy. He said he's always on the Monday of the ABC Up Front. He said he's on vacation. He said if he was on vacation in New York they'd have him on more often. Jon said Jimmy is in L.A. so it doesn't work out. He said if he was in New York they'd see more of him. They went to break after that.
Jon said that Gary said he heard that some of the people who were with James had never heard some of those stories. Jon said that James was wondering it some things were okay to put on his channel and of occurs anything he wants to put on is fine. Lou said they will be playing anything he released. He said that they asked James if there is anything he doesn't want played and James said they could do it all. He said there's also unreleased material they'll be playing. Gary said that's what he's looking forward to hearing. Lou said he's going to ask about some of the demos and things that Gary wanted to hear.
Jon asked if they can imagine that James flew to London as a Beatles fan and he ends up signing with their record label. He said that didn't stop him from creating some of his own classic material. Lou said he was the first one signed to Apple.
Jon said he was one of the marquee guys and they had a bunch of others on the label. Lou said Dylan was one of them. He said James really led the pack on the more accessible singer songwriters. He said that Apple album sounds like demos to James now but it's an emotional thing to him. Lou said James also talked about how he came back from London as a junkie.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought the James Taylor interview was fantastic. He said that Howard talked about getting choked up in the studio over that one song that Billy Joel played at his wedding. Jon said it was more than just the music. He said James was a pivotal part of Howard's life growing up. Gary said that they all have music that you can point to that meant a lot to you. He said if they had Eric Clapton in there Howard would probably dwell on that. He said that his music spoke to Howard.
Jon said that Howard got choked up with My Hero when Dave Grohl did that. Gary said he likes that song with the BB King singing it. Gary said that he doesn't like the whole song and doesn't like the BB King part on its own. He said he understands that though.
Gary said that Lady Gaga told a story about that song she did in there and that was very emotional too. Gary said that she went into the song and it gave him chills.
Jon asked Jim from Raleigh which songs have gotten to him. James said that the Lady Gaga songs were good. He said he can't think of any in particular. He said that he likes hearing the live performances though.
Jon said that James did 9 songs that day and he played the entire song. Gary said they didn't expect that. He said he was just rolling that day though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the James Taylor interview was fantastic. He said what he loved the most was Howard learning about what the songs were about. He said he also found it amazing to learn how James constructed his songs. He asked if they have noticed that Howard has gotten into asking about that more and more. Jon said he has done that before. Jon said when you see how well James plays it's really cool. He said Howard deconstructs that kind of stuff. Gary said that even when Howard talks to an actor he asks how they pick scripts. He said he loves hearing the machinations about how it's all done. Gary said he loves hearing about it too. Jon said the story about James meeting Mark David Chapman was another interesting thing they heard.
Lou said the interview was great and they're all looking forward to the concert at the Apollo. Jon said that will air live on his channel on June 16th. Jon let Lou go and said that the new channel starts on May 22nd. They went to break after that.
Jon asked if Eric thought Gary was against him. Jim said he was fine with Howard picking on him but not anyone else on the show. Gary said that's the attitude with a lot of people who call the show. He said they get upset with everyone but Howard. Jim said that Eric took that stuff very seriously. He said he wasn't even really a fan of the show. He said Eric was in it mostly for himself. He said he loved Howard a lot though. He said he was a great friend and he misses him tremendously.
Gary said there are codes that people put on their cars and he sees Martha's Vineyard ''ACK'' and it reminds him of Eric whenever he sees that.
Jon asked who Jim doesn't get along with. Jim said he and High Pitch don't get along. He said he thinks that he threw him under the bus with Eric the Actor. Jim said he has no problem with anyone. He said he likes Joey Boots. Gary asked if there is anyone he'd like to meet that he hasn't yet. Jim mentioned Beetlejuice.
Jon took a call from a woman who said the star of the week was Sour Shoes. She said everyone loves him. She asked if there will be an Embedded with him. Gary said they are having discussions. Jon said Sour has been involved with the show for decades. He said it seems like this week his star has risen. He said that he's thrilled that the appreciation for him is out in force. Gary said he's happy for him. Jon said that they'll see if they can get Jon Leiberman out there for him. Jim said that he doesn't know of anyone who doesn't like Sour. Jon said he has that George Takei kind of feel.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he was curious if they're close to getting Mr. Springsteen in there. Gary said he ran into his manager and tried not to be harassing. He said Bruce doesn't have a project out right now so he doesn't think he'll be coming in. Gary said that he was thinking about James Taylor and how he might be able to talk Paul Simon into coming on the show. Jon said that would be incredible. Jon said that Rush will be in town in a couple of months. Gary said he's going to his first Rush concert ever when they're in town.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she knows there's a lot of talk about Letterman wrapping up his show. She said she thinks Howard has been on a big upswing and she just laughed and laughed on her way to work. She said that hearing Howard liking 50 Shades of Grey was hysterical to her. She said she loved hearing Howard and Robin arguing about that. Gary said that Howard was into a series of movies where the guy tied up women a lot. He said that he is into that kind of stuff. Gary said the guy who was in 50 Shads of Grey is a big fan of the show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he saw Howard on Letterman the other day and they were thinking about how amazing it was to see the two interacting. He said it was amazing because Dave is retiring and Howard is on the verge of retiring. He said it's kind of sad to watch. He asked if they think this will push Howard to want to retire too. Gary said that Dave and Jay are gone. He asked who is still doing an interview show of that caliber. Jon said maybe Charlie Rose but that's a different scale. Gar said Charlie will do that until he dies. Jon said the thing that gives him hope is that Dave is ready to retire. He said Howard is still involved in the day to day stuff. Gary said Howard still cares a lot. He said he doesn't think he's done yet.
Jon asked Jim what he thinks. Jim said he doesn't think that Howard is going to retire. He said Dave is a little older and Howard's show is still too high a level to call it quits. Jon said they have been getting a lot of big guests lately. He said that this is the place to do ''the interview'' now. Gary said that the other thing he has to say about Howard is that he's 61 but he's a very young 61. Gary said he talks about how old he feels but if he went to a high school reunion he'd be the young looking guy. He said he's a young 61. Gary said sometimes he comes into work and talks about how old he feels. He said that shit happens when you get older but he's healthy and he's younger in mind than his contemporaries.
Jon said it all comes down to Howard's decision. They'll see what happens. Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and let Jim get in a plug for his Twitter @JimFromRaleigh. They wrapped up and ended the show around 11:55am.
Jon asked Gary when Seinfeld ended. Spike said it was around 98. Gary said that it was around then that he stopped coming on. Jon said Howard and Jerry are pals again. Spike said they're both from the same part of Long Island and they can both hold their own in an interview. He said he wanted to hear them talking together. Gary said that Howard said Jerry told him off the air he won't come back on because that last interview was perfect. Spike said that Jerry will forget that happened and he may come back.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon said they have so much to talk about today. He went over some of those things. He said the poll has something to do with the hypnotism. Rahsaan was in with the poll question which was ''Which Staffer Would You Like to See Hypnotized Next?'' The choices were:
Jon asked Gary who his vote is for. Gary said he'd pick Robin. He said he'd like to make her a captain of a boat and find out about her past lives. Spike said he'd like Fred to be hypnotized. He said he'd like to get some truth about things from him. He said he wants to know how he feels about life. Jon said either one of them would be great. Gary said Robin would be great talking about her past life. He said he thinks it would be hysterical.
Jon said Spike has been hypnotized. Spike said he did it in high school and faked it. He said in college there was a guy selling books about how to hypnotize and he did it with this girl and he put her under and turned her into an incredible sexual creature. He said he thought she was pretending. He said he kept telling her to orgasm and she did it 10-20 times and he figured she wasn't faking it. He said he had to flip through the book to figure out how to get her out of it. Spike said when she came out of it she was kind of like Ronnie being all confused and all of that. He said it was a fantastic sexual thing for him. Gary said the hypnotists say you don't do anything that's not there even under hypnosis. It just brings it to the forefront. They had to take a break a short time later.
Jon asked Spike about Howard's Letterman appearance and what he thought of that. Spike said that it's guaranteed that they don't know what he's going to do on the show. He said that the staff would listen to the show that morning to find out what he might do. He said that you don't want to hug Dave but Howard went right in and did it. He said Terry Bradshaw ruined it for everyone years ago when he hurt Dave's neck.
Jon said Dave must love that part of Howard. Gary said he's not sure what Dave enjoys. He said that part of the interesting part of the Letterman show is that he's cranky. He said he can't tell what's real and what's not. Jon said he does seem to love Howard. Spike said he heard Dave likes hanging out with his son and racing. He said he doesn't really know.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the day with Jimmy in studio all day was great. He said it added a whole element to the show. He asked if Howard does sign for another 3 or 5 years is there any formula to have one studio guest for the whole show. He said they have people who are willing to do it and it must be hard on Howard and Gary. He said that was awesome day. Gary said there are very few people who can sit in for the entire show. He said not a lot of people can do it. He said that you'd think Chris Rock sitting in would be awesome but it's hard to tell if he knows how to hang back or not. Gary said you hear something once and you think it would be awesome but he thinks it's special because Jimmy does it once a year. Jon said that you want to show off for Howard and you have to know when to shut up and when to pepper. He said Jimmy did a great job with that. He said he's been a fan forever though. He said he's not sure he'd want to roll like that or not.
Gary said that Jimmy loves the show and when they did the Jackie chair thing they had so many people run through it. He said that you could tell that there are some who can't just hang. He said there are some comedians who feel if they're not talking every 4 minutes that they're not doing the right job.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the hypnosis thing was hilarious this week. He said he couldn't believe how funny it was. He said there's no way Sal was acting. He said he can't imagine looking down and not seeing his cock. Gary said it is a major part of his body. He said that he wasn't just wondering what happened. He went from 0 to 100.
Jon asked the caller who he thinks should be hypnotized next. The caller said he agrees with Gary about the hypnosis thing. Gary said that they may have done Fred in the past but it wasn't memorable. Rahsaan said that he was hypnotized but it was that other hypnotist who did the ''Wakie, Wakie'' thing.
Spike said that Ronnie's was crazy because he was having anal. Gary said it wasn't just anal. He said Ronnie was 14 at the time. Spike said that was a treat Howard stern moment. He said that he will never listen to it again though. He said he has no desire to hear Ronnie have an orgasm again. Spike said that it was a guy making him have an orgasm. He said just talking about it is creeping him out.
Jon asked who is the creepier one, Ronnie or Sal. Spike said he thinks it's Sal. He said that Ronnie is saying things that people are thinking but for Sal that's basically just his life. Jon agreed with spike. He said he thinks he has Ronnie beat. Spike said that they're both very creepy but they're talking about the difference between a 10 and an 8. Jon said the other creepy thing about Ronnie was the laugh while he was talking about his dog Sporty.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what got Howard interested in Ronda Rousey. He said he kind of thought that it took a while for Howard to get into it. Gary said that they were interested in her because she is an interesting person to interview. Gary said they thought she'd be a great guest. He said she is kind of like the Mike Tyson of the UFC right now. He said that they thought she had a very interesting story to tell.
Jon said that Howard was interested in the Judo part of her life and he is interested in hearing about her beating the crap out of people. Jon said when you're called the most dominant athlete out there then you want to hear from that person. Gary said Ronda was trying to figure out the show since she doesn't know it very well. Gary said he thinks that she got it once she called that other woman a low life cunt. They went to break a short time later.
Gary said he and Fred used to watch Jeopardy together. He said that he found it fascinating when he heard him talking about doing coke. Jon said he loved hearing him call someone a dickweed.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she disagrees with Jon about who he wants to see hypnotized. She said that she thinks Fred and Robin would be great but she'd love to see Benjy hypnotized and find out if he enjoyed being fingered by Perez Hilton. Jon asked Gary if he thinks he enjoyed it. Gary said he doesn't. He said he would never know if Benjy was faking hypnosis either. He said they'd never know.
Jon asked Spike what his thoughts are. Spike said he loves it and thinks they should try. He said that anyone who would allow that to happen has to have that in them. He said he would love to know if Benjy really wanted it. He said he has a feeling that he did.
Jon said that they want to see everyone hypnotized. Gary said he doesn't think that Benjy wanted to be fingered to feel it. He thinks he wanted to do it to be in the spotlight. Jon said that the whole thing was to motivate him to lose the weight but it didn't work. Spike said that he knew he'd never lose weight. Jon said that he had to want it to make it part of the bet. Spike said he knew that he wasn't going to lose that weight. Everyone knows how hard it is to lose weight.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he despises Alex Trebek. He said he's such a douche about things on Jeopardy. The caller said that Howard made him find a new found respect for Trebek. He said he now likes the guy. He thanked Howard for that.
Jon said they heard that so much. He said that they heard that with Lady Gaga and others. Jon said Howard spends an hour with these people and it makes people change their views. Jon said that Howard can find that in everyone. Spike mentioned Rumer Willis and Gwyneth Paltrow and how Howard can make them so likeable.
Jon said it seems like more and more celebs are realizing that you can come out of there with more fans and more respect than you already have. Gary said you have to be willing to give something when you show up. He said you have to be real and talk. He said that Gwyneth did that. He said he doesn't think that Alex knows how to do anything else. Jon said he looked great for his age.
Spike said he used to see Alex's house and it was so recognizable that he'd ask ''Whose house is that?'' every time he'd see it. Jon said he liked that he said that in the form of a question.
Gary asked Spike if he's from Fall River. Spike said that's where he was born but he didn't live there. Gary said that's where Hank the Dwarf was from. Spike sounded thrilled about that.
Jon asked Rahsaan about the poll results. Rahsaan said that Jon Hein has 41 percent of the vote. He said Richard had 24 and Robin had 16. Jon sounded surprised by that. Gary said that everyone wants to know where the bodies are buried.
Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and mentioned that BB King had passed away. They're playing his 1991 interview with Howard on Sternthology. Gary said that Eric Clapton did a 2 minute tribute to BB King that he put on the web. He said he remembers what a nice guy he was in 1991. He said he thought he was 80 back then. He said he seemed old even back then.
Jon gave Spike a plug for Car Matchmaker which starts June 24th on the Esquire network. Gary asked Spike if the Simpsons will be the same without Harry Shearer. Spike said he thinks Harry will return. They wrapped up and ended the show around 11:50am.