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Howard started the show talking about George Takei returning to sit in with them today. Howard said George is sick and he's sitting right next to him. George said he has two spaces between him. Howard said he can't afford to get sick right now. Howard said George said it's an L.A. cold and it won't go away. George said he's had it for 10 days and it won't go away. Howard said the show is ruined for him today. He said he is so stressed out over the work he has coming up in the next month. He said he can't get the cold. George said he doesn't want to give him the cold. Howard said he thinks he's going to get it. Robin said he can't be contagious. Howard said he's snotting all over the place. Howard said that germs travel. George said Robin is fine behind that window over there. Howard said he feels itchy. George said he's only contagious in St. Louis.
Howard said he is having a lot of negative feelings with the workload he has lately. He said the only thing that's keeping him in it is being healthy. Howard said he loves having George there but he thinks he should have stayed home. Howard said he loves George. He said he hopes he doesn't get sick. Robin said hopefully he doesn't get sick.
George said that he went to L.A. and it was 84 degrees. He said he went home from Minneapolis. He said he was doing some work there and he's not sure if he can talk about it. He did a commercial for a tax firm that he can't remember. He remembered it was He & R Block. He said it was the cold that he got there that did in his memory.
Howard said that it's fine if Benjy gets sick. He said he doesn't have to be on microphone. Howard said as long as George is there the big news is that Leonard Nimoy passed away. George said it's a horrible loss. Howard asked if he was shocked how the press beat him up about him not attending the funeral. Howard said he was at a fund raiser for a charity. George said that they hold the funeral immediately. George said he didn't make it either. He said he was in Boston. He said the irony is that Leonard was born in Boston and that's where he learned of his passing. George said he didn't get hassled over that. Howard said they didn't because it was like the Captain and Spock had a closeness on TV. Howard said that George might have been closer to him in real life but people think that Shatner and Nimoy should have been together. George said they did have that chemistry on the TV show. He said they were great actors.
George told Howard about how they did an animated series for Star Trek and he and Nichelle were not hired for it initially. He said that Leonard stepped in and stood up for them and how they were about diversity. He said that Leonard stood up for them and said he wasn't interested in doing the show if they were not included. He said they eventually found the money in the budget for them.
George said that Leonard was there to support him for any plays he's done. He said they did Allegiance in Los Angeles and Leonard came to see it with some friends. He said that the rest of the cast were so thrilled that he came. Howard said he sounds like a really good guy. Howard said he can't believe George didn't get to his funeral. George said there was no transport. Howard said he could have used the transporter.
Howard asked if George sent a note to Nimoy's wife. George said he did and it was a full page. He said it was personal. He said he expressed his condolences to her and how much Leonard's loss was to them. Howard said he was a smoker for many years. George said he was like a smoke stack. Robin said he was gasping for air at the end of his life. George said they did that documentary and Leonard came to see that. He said he showed up in a wheel chair. He said that he had an oxygen tank with him. He said he was so touched that he came to that. Howard said he can't believe he wasn't at his funeral. He said it's getting worse and worse. George said his heart was there. George said now he's going to hear from the haters.
Howard said he didn't understand why they were going after Shatner. He said that they don't know if he was close to the guy or not. Howard asked if George has evidence that they weren't. George said there was a chapter he wrote in his autobiography where he talked about a TV Guide spread that they were doing about Leonard and what he had to do to get ready for his role. George said that they were taking photos of him going through make up. He said that Bill showed up and saw that going on. Then he went and made a phone call. Someone came in and dismissed the photographer. George said they asked what was going on. George said that Bill had it written into his contract that he had approval rights for photographers on the sound stage. He said Leonard said he's getting the photographer back. He said that he went to his trailer and they were all showing up for work. George said they found out what happened and hung out with noting happening. He said some black suits came rushing in and went to Leonard's trailer and then to Bill's trailer. He said the suits went back and forth for a while. They were being held up over this.
Howard said that this is wild. George said this went on for a while. George started coughing so Howard told him to cough toward Benjy instead of his way. George told Howard about how they were going for an early lunch from their break of doing nothing. He said this went on the whole morning. George said after lunch they were ready to go back to work. George said Leonard finished up his photographs.
George coughed again and went toward Benjy this time. Howard said that he has some phlegm on him now. Howard said that's famous phlegm. Howard said he should go home. He said he is sick. George said they have the penis contest though. Howard said that's not happening until 9. Gary said he could work with the other guys out there and he can come back in around 9.
Howard got back to the Nimoy and Shatner thing. Howard said that they are just actors and that doesn't mean that they're friends. Howard said he thinks that George might have been closer than Shatner was. George said in many ways they were.
Howard asked when the play is coming to Broadway. George said they begin rehearsing August. Howard said he didn't know it was a crowd funding thing. George said yes it is. Howard said he has some clips from it. George said that they have seats held for Howard and Beth. He said he has a pair for Robin as well. Howard said Robin will represent the show for them.
Howard said this weekend Shatner tweeted a link to George's crowd funding effort. George wasn't aware of that. George said they were up to $85,000 as of last night. He said they need $250,000. He said that money goes into the investment into Allegiance. He said the money that comes out of the play goes to the endowment of the Japanese Americans. Howard said he hates musicals. George said he can't hate them. Howard said he really does.
Howard played a clip from George's musical ''Allegiance'' and said he would kill himself if he had to sit through that. Howard asked if that was about this parents. George said it was about his character. Howard said that he thought he was gay. George said he's an actor. He said when he comes on he's a veteran of the World War. He said he's not playing himself. George said this is inspired by his family's experience but this isn't about him. Howard said people on Broadway will eat this shit up.
George said they sold out the tickets in San Diego. Howard said he sees that they have 10,000 orders. George said it's much more than that. George said before they had a theater they came up with an idea for a priority access pass. He said for $5 you have access to a pair of seats any evening in the run. He said that you get a free download. Howard said it says that it costs $13 million to produce a play like this. George said he put some of his own money into it. Howard asked if it was a couple million. George said pretty close to that. Howard asked what Brad had to say about that. George said he had to do some persuading. He said he believes in this though so he had to do it.
Howard said he didn't know he put his own money into it. George said it will work out. Howard said he hopes it doesn't tank. George said if it doesn't work out he may take over Howard's show. Howard said he's welcome to it.
Howard said he had Conan O'Brien on the show and he said that he loves doing an impression of him. Howard played a clip of Conan talking about that. George said Conan wrote a Simpsons episode about him. Howard said Conan talked about that too. Howard played some of that audio where Conan talked about George turning down the offer to do the show because they were making fun of the monorail in the episode.
Howard said he turned down the show because he felt they were insulting the monorail. George said that he was working on the transportation board and it was counter productive to that. Howard said George is the most fascinating man on the planet.
Howard said George is there and he will be judging the most beautiful black penis contest later this morning. George asked where they crown the winner. Howard asked where he would like to crown him. George said on the head of course. Gary said not all of the guys who are coming in are gay. Howard said he didn't say they were. Howard said he sounds way more excited about this than even his own play ''Allegiance''. George laughed.
Howard said George has been with black men before. George said he has but that was before Brad. Howard asked if he had sex with Brad on Sunday. George said as the pages of the calendar turn, and he has a cold, so Sunday happened in a very relaxed way. He said they nuzzled and cuddled but no wrestling. Howard asked if it's because he's sick. George said that the wrestling isn't gone but it doesn't happen every Sunday anymore. Howard said that's too bad. George said that he isn't losing interest. He said the last thing that goes soft is your brain and his brain if very sharp. Howard asked if his penis still works. George said that it used to worry him a few years ago but now he doesn't worry. He said he's accepting that.
George said that it comes with age. He said it's natural. Howard said sometimes he goes to jerk off and it's like pulling on taffy. Howard said that hasn't happened during sex though. Howard asked how Brad's figure is. George said it's improving. He said he lost weight. He said Gary inspired him. Howard said he's not toned though. George said that's correct. Howard said maybe if he had a guy who wanted to blow him that it might happen. He said maybe he meets a guy who is 20 years younger than him with good abs. He said he'd be charged up. George said he can go there with his imagination.
Howard asked George if he can go there with Brad and just go out and get his mind blown once a month. He said he could hook up with someone just for sex. George said he knows Brad too well and he knows that won't happen. He said he can't even have that conversation. Howard said just imagine if he could get his rocks off like that. George said he can imagine that. Howard said he has to think about how many more years he has on the planet. George said that their love and companionship means more than that.
Howard asked if he ever watches porn. George said he does. Robin asked what kind he watches. Howard said he has a scenario he loves. He said he loves the Babysitter porn. Howard said they're not real teen age girls of course. Howard saw George coughing again and said he can't believe they didn't get any on Sunday. That led to a bit the guys put together about Brad and George having their Sunday sex.
Howard asked George about the porn he watches. George said he likes athletes and soldiers. Howard said Benjy just died in the last 5 minutes. Howard said he is unconscious back there.
Howard said George likes soldier porn too. George said that they are all very fit. He said that's what he likes. Howard said he imagines him liking mountain climbing porn. George said he likes Lederhosen too. Howard said he can see that. Howard asked if he is attracted to Asian men. George said he's attracted to attractive men. Howard asked if he has had sex with Asian men. George said he has.
Howard said he knew a woman who was only attracted to Asian men. Howard said she would be with another guy and she said he had to be with an Asian man. George said that fascinates him. He said there are women who are just into them and they call them Rice Queens.
Howard said that Brad used to be one of those muscular men that George was into. Howard asked if Brad was a Rice Queen. George said he's never heard him referred to as that. Howard said he had to take a break and asked George to aim the other way during the break. Howard said he's still kind of snotty and coughing. Robin said the cold is gone though. Howard said Gary has something going on with his voice today. He said he's clearing his throat like crazy. Howard said he thought he was going to vomit today.
Howard said he tries to get past the phlegm but Gary is the worst. Howard said as soon as he opens the door he hears it going on. Gary said he starts clearing the second he gets out of his car. Gary said he doesn't eat anything in the morning. Howard said Gary claims he makes him nervous. Gary said he starts thinking about the throat thing and it makes it worse. Howard said he tried not to say anything for like a year. Gary said that didn't work. Howard said today was so bad that it sounded like he swallowed a full load of Jon Hein's jizz. Gary said he'll be much better once the warm weather is there. Howard said that's true. Howard played a ''Baba Clear My Throat'' song parody before they went to break.
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Howard came back and took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she loved George's movie. She said she was at the AGT tapings too. She said that it takes so long to set up. She asked if Howard' has a cold because she saw him with a tissue. Howard said his nose just runs sometimes. He said he wishes that it had run off his face. Mariann said Howard is the best judge. She said that the other judges are on their phones and Howard is paying attention. Howard said he just sits there and pays attention. Howard said he needs 25 minutes to talk to Robin about all of that. Howard said the good thing is that they have some great acts this season. Mariann told Howard that Beth is on Meredith Viera today.
Howard said that Rude Jude is on Shade 45 there at Sirius. Howard said that he is a white guy who sounds black. Howard said that he can't be the only white guy over there. Jude said he's not. He said there are a lot of them there. Howard said it's weird looking at him while he talks like that.
Howard said he works in the afternoons there. Howard said he plays music and talks to guests. Howard said he does it all. Howard asked if he likes doing radio. Jude said he does.
Howard said Jude wrote this book himself. He said he wrote it in his voice. Howard said he really had a touch upbringing. Howard said it's a sad story. Jude said that it's called Hyena because you're laughing but it's fucked up.
Howard said Jude wasn't looking to be on the radio. He said he was trying to be an actor. Howard said Jude was born in Pontiac, Michigan. Howard said he grew up in a white trash area outside of Detroit. Howard said his parents were hippies. Jude said they were. Howard said you'd think they were full of peace and love. Jude said that his dad was anti-government and his mom was against nuclear weapons. Howard said his father hit one of the other children in the commune they lived in. Jude said that's just what you did back then. Howard asked if it's fucked up growing up in a commune. Jude said they were so young they didn't realize it. He said they had outhouses and no plumbing. He said they used to have bats in the house and stuff like that. Howard asked if they asked their dad to get them out of there. Jude said it was like permanent camping.
Howard said that his parents split up and his mom used to bring him with her when she'd go fuck guys. Jude said that's while they were still married. He said they both cheated on each other. Jude said he got to see his mom cheat but his dad was disgusting too. He said he was like 4 years old and his dad would ask him where he was and his mom would find out and call him a spy.
Howard said it got so bad that his dad put a knife to his mom's throat and raped her. Jude said he and his sister were in the bathtub while that was going on. Howard asked if he's still in touch with his dad. Jude said he is and he loves his dad. He said that he is his dad. Howard asked how you get past that. Jude said it's your dad and that's half of you. He said the fucked up thing is that he told them what he did. Howard asked if he's close to his mom too. Jude said he's close to both.
Howard asked Jude if he's been to a psychiatrist over this. Jude said he went and the woman was laughing at him. Howard said there are a lot of wild sex stories in his book. Howard said he has fucked a lot of chicks.
Howard asked Jude if he acted out sexually early. Jude said he didn't. He said he was 17 but kids in his neighborhood were getting it at 11. Howard said Jude had sex in a McDonald's. Jude said he lost his virginity in a church parking lot but he used to bang in McDonald's. Howard asked if it's really gross there. Jude said he won't eat at a McDonald's. He said they were selling weed out of there and things like that. Howard asked if he has done the drugs that he sold. Jude said he doesn't do that hard stuff. He said if he did heroin he knows he'd be a junkie. He said he hates weed. Jude said he doesn't even like alcohol. He said he has GHB in his pocket. He said that's the date rape drug. He said that it's great. He said it makes you want to bang.
Howard said Jude ended up on the Jenny Jones show. Howard said he was an audience member or something. Jude said it was a Geek to Sheik show. He said that a woman brought him on to yell at him. Howard said it was set up though. Jude said of course. Jude said that he had been on probation for years and he wasn't able to leave the state. He said he had done some petty crimes and got caught. He said he got the shit beat out of him by the cops. He said he was just a little asshole. Jude said there were no mastermind criminals from his neighborhood. He said he never went to Juvenile or anything. He said that he's embarrassed even talking about what he did.
Howard asked if Jude graduated high school. Jude said he did. He said it took an extra year but he did it. Howard asked if he was thing to become an actor after that. Jude said he just wanted to get out of his neighborhood. He said he eventually went to Chicago and ended up doing the Jenny Jones show regularly. He said they'd dress him in ridiculous outfits and he'd ask the guests crazy questions. He said that's where he got his name ''Rude Jude.'' Howard asked if he ever banged Jenny Jones. Jude said he didn't but he fucked a lot of the strippers at the show. He said they had to sit him down and talk to him. He said he was 20 years old. Howard said he claims that he fucked a lot of the audience members too. Jude said he did that too. He said he kind of had a problem with that. Howard said he was just a young man.
Howard said Jude says that he'll fuck a woman with a smelly pussy. Jude said you just eat past the taste. Howard said he says that he will throw some peppermint oil in his nasal cavity to get around that. He said his dad never let them waste food so they'd have to eat it out of the trash if they threw something out. He said a smelly pussy is nothing compared to that.
Howard said Jude said that the shrink laughed at him. Jude said it's hard to find a shrink in L.A. Howard said he has heard it's hard to find one out there. Jude said his shrink took phone calls during his session. Howard asked if it was a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Jude said it was whatever his health care covered.
Howard asked Jude about his kid. Jude said he has a Mc-Child. He said that's from fucking in the McDonald's. He said she's 18 years old now. Jude said that he has done a lot of odd jobs over the years. He said he had to wipe down the poles at the strip clubs. He said that he'd be doing that and seeing himself on the TV. He said that the polls were grimy and he'd go out with gloves and then the girls wouldn't tip him for wiping them down.
Howard asked Jude why he didn't wear a condom if he had a kid so early on. Jude said real pussy feels so much better than condom pussy. Howard said he can fuck through a garbage bag. Howard said he wears a condom. Jude said ''Really?'' Howard said that he does.
Howard said Jude worked in a gay bar as a bathroom attendant. Howard said he had to make money for child support. Howard said if he had worn a condom at an early age he wouldn't have had to do that. Howard asked why she didn't get an abortion. Jude said it's all about religion. He said she didn't want to get an abortion and he didn't find out until 6 months after. He said he had another girlfriend at the time and she was pregnant but she got an abortion. He said he hasn't seen her since and he'd like to apologize to her about that. He said he's had about 5 women who have had abortions. Howard said he's still not using a condom. Jude said he actually is. He uses Durex.
Howard said Jude says that he'd rather have a threesome with two guys and one girl instead of 2 girls and one guy. Jude said he just had a threesome the other day a with two girls. He said that he's been flying girls in to meet him. He said that's cheaper than a date. He said he meets girls on Instagram. Howard said he's on the radio so it's easy to do that. Howard asked Jude if it's scary to bring a girl home like that. Howard said you don't know them. Jude said that would make it hard to fuck if he thought about all of that. Jude said that's how he got into this threesome. He said this girl was really annoying and he had to bring in another girl to babysit her. Jude said the grass is always greener. He said he would like a girl that he could just have one girl with. He said it's so hard.
Howard asked Jude if he ever goes somewhere and courts a girl. Jude said he's a hopeless romantic. He said he thinks every girl could be the one. He said they don't turn out to be that one so he figured he can just eat ass. Howard asked if he eats ass a lot. Jude said he does. He said he had to do something different growing up in his neighborhood. He said that the black kids don't do that so he did. Howard asked if he fucked a lot of black chicks. Jude said he did. He said that he doesn't have game or anything. He said all he has is honesty. Jude said he got part of his game from listening to Howard's ass. He said that his dick is mad wet because of Howard.
Howard asked Jude about doing the Jenny Jones show and then Eminem sees him. Howard asked if that's how he got to introduce him. Jude said he was a cook and he heard about an Eminem rave that was going on. He said he went and they recognized him from Jenny Jones. He said they brought him up. Then they gave him a break on Shade 45 later on. Jude said he's been there for like 10 years now.
Howard said that Jude was calling out Floyd Mayweather about his fight and he really got into it with him. Jude said he was afraid that he was going to get fired over that. Howard asked if he got in trouble at all. Jude said he could have gotten fired. Howard played some audio of Jude going after Mayweather on his show. They were yelling at each other and Mayweather was calling him a ''faggot.'' Howard said that's how he got to know Jude. He said he did get a talking to though. Jude said he was told to never bring that up again. He said that's what made him start writing his book. He said he doesn't have skills so he had to do something.
Howard said that Chet Haze was on the show and he got into it with him on his show too. Jude said he was irritated by him. Howard had another clip of Jude going off on Chet's friend in the studio. Chet was fine but his friend said something and Jude kicked him out of the studio.
Howard said he still seems to be pissed. Jude said he is. He said that he was trying to be fair to the guy and he knew that he was going to get shit over it. He said people think that they're the same but they're not even close.
Howard asked if he gets anything from Eminem about his show or is he hands off. Jude said he's pretty hands off.
Howard gave Jude a plug for his book ''Hyena'' and also for his show that's on Shade 45.
Howard asked about the threesome thing and why he wants a dude there. Jude said that he'd rather have a one on one and not have a dude there. He said if he has to have a threesome he'd want to have a guy there. Howard said he would want to have just his own thing going. Jude said he was running through so many girls that he felt it was too easy. Howard said this book is very important to read.
Howard said Jude was fucking so much that he ended up with a dwarf that was a dude or something. Jude said that it was a chick. Jude said they had a girl on the show that ended up peeing on him on the show. He said that he pulled her and they were doing ecstasy. He said he was holding her legs up and her legs were really low. He said that she was spread eagle but her legs were really small. He said she got up to go use the bathroom and he realized how small she was. He said she had a big ass head and a long ass torso. Howard said this is some wild story.
Howard asked if he has fucked in the studio. Jude said he has. Howard said that's hard core. Jude said it's not a set up like Howard has. He said he's in a box. Robin said it must be like the closet at McDonald's. Jude said she's right.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who said that Jude told a story about a rant he did after a song and how he wants to bang his cousins and his grandmother got angry at him for that. Jude said he has never banged any family members. He said he knows people who go and try to get their second cousins. Howard said he doesn't know how he's going to settle down after hearing all of these stories. Jude said his book is about a break up and he has been on a bender since then.
Howard asked Jude about his family and what went on with that. Jude said his dad did the best he could. Howard said he's got to be angry about what his dad did to him. He said that was some heavy shit that his parents put him through. Jude said it is. He said he walks around with it in his head every day. Jude said that it makes it really hard for him to trust women based on what his mom did by taking them when she'd go fuck other guys. Howard said that he can't connect to a woman spiritually if he's carrying around that anger toward his parents.
Howard said he heard that the book was bought by Mark Wahlberg and they're going to turn it into a TV show. Jude said that's right. Howard said Wahlberg gets shit done so that's a good thing. Jude said he got a call from him and that was really surreal. He said he drives a Mazda 6 with cloth interior so that's a big deal to him. Howard said Mark is the shit. Jude said he knows he's the shit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a big fan of Jude's. He said he's a 54 year old white guy from the suburbs.
Howard said this could be good for Jude if Mark gets this thing done. Howard asked if they have a script yet. Jude said he's helping out with the outline. He said they just got that done. Jude said he's willing to do anything to get that show done. He said he'll bring coffee if he has to.
Howard gave Jude a plug for the book ''Hyena'' and said if he does well with that he should donate to George's play. George said it does sound like a fascinating life. Howard said maybe they can turn it into a musical. Howard gave Jude some more plugs and wrapped up with him. Howard said he's on at 4pm Eastern on Shade 45. Jude said Howard has no idea how much this means to him. Howard said it was good for them too.
Jude asked Robin if she's getting used to the way he talks compared to the way he looks. Robin said it is like when you see a black guy with a British accent. She said she's getting used to it though. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said on Wednesday he was trying to get across town and he hit the parade traffic. He said there were kids who looked like they were high school age and they were running around with alcohol. Howard said he can't figure out how some mayor hasn't stopped the madness. Howard said they should end every parade. Howard said this is in the middle of a work day. He said they're afraid to cancel the thing. He said it's scary out there because everyone is drunk. Robin said they make rules about who can march in front of these drunks. George said at least they got one group marching this year.
Howard asked George to pick up his microphone a bit. Howard said he hasn't done one announce yet either. Howard had him get them into the show. George did an announce about Howard possibly leaving and asking if he could do Takei in the morning if Howard leaves. Howard asked if he would really want to do a show. George said that's just what the script says. Howard had him do another announce and George did that one saying that he is going where no man has gone before, Howard's butt hole. Howard said he wouldn't want to go in there. Howard said he has cellulite on his ass. Howard said he sat on his ass most of his life. George said it sounds repellant. Howard said it's repugnant.
Howard asked if Brad has cellulite on his ass. George said yes. Howard said poor George. Howard said George is still in pretty good shape. Robin said she's sure he has some problems there. George still does 50 sit ups and 100 push ups a day. George said he is back to doing it after being sick for 10 days. Howard said you don't want to see cellulite after doing that. Howard asked if he has ever said anything to him about it. George said he has shared some of that there on the show.
Howard said he keeps the lights low and he backs out of the room so Beth won't see his ass. Howard said she asks what he's doing and he tells her he's trying to keep it alive and not ruin everything.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's a big rice queen. She asked George how many boners he's had in the past week. George said that yesterday it didn't really happen.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Rude Jude was fantastic. Howard said he likes Rude Jude. He said he wishes him well. The caller said he's sure they could get into more stories. Howard said he'll have him back.
Howard said Jude is in L.A. and he really doesn't need to be there to do his show. Howard said he had a tough weekend. He said that they treat him like a god over there. He said that he does value some free time. Howard said two of his kids sat him down and talked to him yesterday. He said they think he looks like crap and he's working too much. Howard said they told him that he has to lighten up a bit. Howard said he said he is going to. Howard said he's spending all of his free time with Mel B. Howard said she's a nice person but c'mon.
George told Howard he should write a book. Robin said that they don't want him doing more work. Howard said he has to wait to see how the radio show thing pans out. Howard said he'll figure it all out after that. Howard said as long as he doesn't end up making a play about an internment camp he'll be fine.
Howard played a clip of Shuli out on the street asking people about the St. Patrick's Day Parade. Howard said he's against all parades. He said they bring out the worst in humanity. Howard said the people who work in the city have to deal with the traffic and all of that. Howard said he's not sure why a St. Patrick's Day can't be celebrated in a park or something. Howard said if he was mayor he would tell people to sit at home or go to a park on Long Island and celebrate there.
George said they don't need another parade. He said in smaller towns it's fine but this city is too busy for that. Howard said he's right.
Howard said at one point on the weekend he was arguing with Howie Mandel about something. Howard said they were on their third day at the end and Howie was challenging something he was saying. Howard said he realized they were arguing over talent. Howard said he takes it way seriously. Howard said at the end of the day who cares? Howard said he just thinks he knows what he's talking about. Howard said he doesn't think he likes playing with other people. He said he should be the only judge. George said he's right.
Howard said they were in the judges lounge and he said he doesn't like having an audience at the show. He said the other judges were shocked. Howard said most auditions don't take place in front of an audience. Howard said having the audience there yelling and screaming is fine but they shouldn't do that with the auditions. Howard said Howie went berserk over that. Howard said he was arguing that it's not the right thing to do. Robin said this is a TV show and they have to perform in front of audiences on live TV. Howard said that's what they should do then. Robin said you want them to have some experience with that.
Howard took another call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that it is too much on Howard. She said that the judges aren't paying attention. She said Howard is the only one doing that. Howard said he loves Mariann. He said he loves seeing that sign hanging by her. Howard said that it is comforting. Mariann said that the other judges are insane and she thinks that she could be a judge with Howard. Howard said Howie called Heidi out on something she was doing where she makes fake glasses on her eyes to help her see. Howard said it doesn't help her but she was embarrassed and said it does. Howard played Mariann out with a theme song.
Howard said that woman was turned on. George said he saw a play called Octaroon in Brooklyn. He was about to talk about that but Howard said he wants to do the black penis contest next. Howard said that George will be judging the contest. Howard gave him a plug for his musical and said you can find out more at AllegianceMusical.com. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he doesn't think that was really David Letterman and Paul Shaffer. Howard played the theme song for their most beautiful black penis contest. Howard said they have three contestants coming in today. Howard said they are well hung. Howard said George is putting on a condom. George said he has a cold so he's protecting everyone.
Howard had George singing the theme song for the contest. They had George singing about the most beautiful black penis. Howard said that George used to have a career before that.
Howard said they have three men there named Ahmaad, Adam and Moe. Howard started off with Ahmaad. Ahmaad said he already won. Howard said that these are big, strong black men. Howard said that these are real black men. Howard said Ahmaad is 32 and from Philadelphia. He's also a gay man. Ahmaad said he is single and he does anal. Howard said he thinks most gay men do anal. Ahmaad said he thinks Howard is right and there is a bottom shaming. He said a lot of men don't like to admit it. Howard said he doesn't shame any bottom. Howard said they have pictures of all of the contestants up on the web site. Howard said to be crowed is a big honor on the show.
Howard said Ahmaad is a registered nurse. Howard said he's studying to be a nurse practitioner. Howard said he sounds like a smart man. Howard said Ahmaad claims that he gets a lot of compliments on his penis. Ahmaad said he does. He said he has seen the other penises and he thinks that they are beautiful.
Howard asked George what he's looking for in a penis contest. Howard said it's not the size, or is it. George said it's proportion, balance and aesthetic beauty. He said he will look at the whole picture. George said he has seen Ahmaad's personality and that will be part of it. Howard told him to please concentrate on the penis. He said he never thought he'd have to tell him that.
Ahmaad asked if George will be touching their penises. Howard said that's up to George. George said he is a judge so he feels he has to do that. Howard said he is thinking of his marriage so he may not want to do that.
Howard moved on to talk to Adam. Howard said he is 33 and from Ohio and he is also gay. Howard said he's single. Adam said he's actually not. He said that his boyfriend is out there. Adam said this is fucking insane being there. He was giving shout outs to everyone on the show. Adam also said he bum rushed George's parade float in Columbus last year. Howard said George has his hands in a hand warmer right now. Howard asked if it's a disappointment to see everyone there. Adam said not at all. He said he has Jon Hein holding the microphone for him now. He said he loves it. He didn't think Ronnie was impressed with him though.
Adam said he is smaller than everyone there and he doesn't care because he's on the Howard Stern Show. Howard said he's going for the title though. Howard said they have narrowed it down to those three guys. Howard asked if he has measured it before. Adam said he hasn't. Howard asked if his penis is unusual at all. Adam said he doesn't think so. Robin asked if he is a top or bottom. Adam said that his mother is listening right now. He said that he has never bottomed before but he's not opposed to it.
Howard asked if George will be judging their ball sacks at all. George said that is part of it. Adam said he has big balls. He said that he might make up for his smaller penis size.
Howard asked Adam if he has slept with women. Adam said he has. He said that was in the early years. He said that as long as it's warm and tight then it's not a bad thing.
Howard moved on to Moe and said he is in porn. Howard said he wants this title bad. Moe said he does. He became a porn actor about 3 years ago. He only does straight porn. Howard said he might have a problem with George touching him. Moe said he might. Howard said that Moe must have a good size penis. Moe said that he has been in about 650 movies. Howard asked if he's banging all kinds of chicks. Moe said he is. He said he averages from 11 to 13 inches. He said it depends on the girl. Howard said that's something else. Howard said he'd be happy with half that. Robin said half that is all you need. Howard asked if the girls can take it all in. Moe said some can. He said that some girls will push back when he goes too deep. He said they'll push him on the ribs.
Howard said that George appears to be impressed. George said he doesn't think he's ever had one that big before.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he thinks George is the best judge and he thinks that he should judge Robin's boobies for them. Howard said that's disgusting and that won't happen.
Howard said that Moe has had a lucrative career doing porn. Moe said he's been in L.A. for 3 years and he worked for a company called Dog Fart. Moe said that they do some different things. He said he started out doing a glory hole movie. He said he's only with women. George said that a glory hole is a gay thing. Howard said George has done that, right. George laughed. George said he has talked too much on this show. Howard said he remembers talking to him about that. Howard asked if there is something great about that. George wasn't talking.
Howard asked Robin if she's into this at all. Robin said not at all. She said she's not into seeing random cocks.
Howard asked if George is prejudiced toward Moe because he's straight. George said that he thinks that you can appreciate it in any man. He was fine with him not being gay.
Howard had George singing the Mr. Black Penis theme song again. Howard then said he forgot to mention that you can find Moe at MoeTheMonster.com
Howard said that he's going to have George go over to Ahmaad and look at his penis. Ahmaad took down his pants and George went over and said ''Oh my!'' Ahmaad said he'd be honored if he touched it. Howard told him to hold on. Howard asked what he thinks so far. George said he thinks that he's magnificent. He said he can see his whole body and he has nipple rings and he can jiggle his pectorals. He said he has abs too. He said his musculature is great. George said that he must feel. He touched Ahmaad and Robin said ''Oh wow!'' Howard said they're not looking for sex there. George said he has a responsibility as a judge. Howard said he has two more to judge. George was impressed with Ahmaad's legs too. He said he was very impressive. Howard said he has to look at him for a moment.
Howard told George that he has to rate him on a scale of 10. George said he needs to see the other guys first. Howard asked Adam to show what he has. Adam said he won't compare to that one. Howard said Adam is a good looking man too. George said he's tall. George said he's been sweating a bit. He said he's very nice too. Howard said he's not as big as Ahmaad but his penis is beautiful. George said he's in proportion. Howard asked if Brad is as big as Ahmaad. George said not as big. He said he's closer to Adam. Adam said it does get bigger. Howard said they believe him.
Howard told Adam to put his robe back on. Gary told George that there is no touching going on with Moe. George said that he's limiting himself. Howard said Moe doesn't want to be touched. George said he's really missing out. Howard had Moe strip down next. George let out an ''Oh... look at that'' when he saw him. He said he's very impressive. George said they're all very fit. He said they all have six pack abs. He said they're all good with their musculature. Howard said George is almost light headed over this. George said he is. He said Moe has a wonderful curvature to it. He said that he can see why he's in movies.
Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said they do all have nice penises. Howard said that George is Salivating like a St. Bernard. Howard asked if he wants to say how much he values his relationship with Brad. George said he will pay the price when he gets home.
Howard had Fred play some tympany. Howard asked George to rate their penises now. George said they are all fit looking and he likes to see the whole body. George said that you can't take things out of context. He said they're all different. Howard said Brad is home judging three men... all divorce attorneys. George said that was kind of a downer.
George said that he thinks that Ahmaad has a gorgeous penis by itself. He said it's actually too big. He said he likes to see proportion. He said Moe has a beautiful penis and body. He said he also takes that in the whole context. He said he has a sober, serious and straight laced, limited vision of sexuality. He said that he thinks Adam's body is proportional and he exudes life. He said that's all part of the penis. George said he claims that it's small but it's in context. He said it's in good proportion. He said he awards the crown to Adam. Howard said Jon Hein wants him to touch his penis now. Robin said that he's white though.
Adam said he loves them. He said he just wanted to come in and meet Howard and the guys. He said he loves them all. Howard said Moe and Ahmaad were fine with that. Ahmaad said he lost because he's too big so how can he complain about that?
Howard said that the guys are all going to finish on George's face to celebrate. George said that he was keeping his cold to himself but he may be sharing it with all of them today.
Howard let the guys say a couple of words to wrap up. George said they should let Adam's boyfriend come in too. Howard said let him run the show. He wrapped up after crowing Adam Mr. Black Penis. They played George's song again as they were ending the segment.
Howard came back and said he was watching on the internet Robert Plant singing with Jack White. Robin said she may have a little bit of that audio. Howard said Robert Plant seems so happy singing that song and he doesn't get why he doesn't go out with Jimmy Page to sing it. Howard said they'd clean up if they did.
Howard said that George was out there hanging with the contestants. George said he was talking to the boyfriend who is white. Howard asked how he looked. George said Adam is better looking. He said the boyfriend is slim but not a twink. Howard said he should wipe his face after hanging out with them. George said he actually did that in the bathroom. George said that was a landmark event. Howard said years ago they couldn't even have a penis contest. George said that he got to grab a hold today. He said they were all well hung. He said Adam had a wonderful personality too. He said that you can't judge a person by just one part.
Howard said he found something that George is fantastic at. Howard said this is his calling. Howard asked if they can do an Eskimo contest next time. George said he has never had one of those.
Howard asked George to do an announce for them. George read something about how if William Shatner dies he will fly from anywhere in the world to his funeral to make sure he is dead. Howard said that was some announce. George said he could do another one too. Howard had him go ahead. George read one about how he was inspired to lick his own penis wafter hearing Robin licked her own tits. He said all that got him was a trip to the chiropractor.
Howard said the guys looked up some gay porn for George. He said he has a drill sergeant yelling at a private. Howard said that's what George is into. George said he's into licking his tits too. Howard told him to calm down with that.
Robin started her news talking about an NFL player who walked away from the game last season worrying about the long lasting effects of concussions. Robin said he was a rookie. Robin said that he took it seriously and wanted to think about his life instead of the NFL. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Howard said he's very smart. He said he thinks that football is going to be dead in 20 years or so. Robin said she thinks it's human nature to want to mix it up like that. Howard said he doesn't think parents are going to want it for their kids. They spent a few more minutes talking about that.
Howard asked Robin if she got a copy of Dwight Douglas' book. Robin said she did not. Howard said he doesn't read books. He said he got the book and he loves the guy but he can't read the book. Howard said he doesn't read. Howard said he hates books more than musicals. He said he would rather go to George's play.
Howard said the book is called ''If God Could Talk...: The Diary of a TV Journalist.'' Howard said he will have Gary read it and give him the rundown of it.
Robin had the audio of Jack White and Robert Plant performing the song together. Howard said he saw this online. Howard said he was trying to get Led Zeppelin in there when they were out promoting. Howard said Jimmy Page said no way to that. Howard said that they just won't do the show. Gary said he's not sure why that is. Howard said he'd love to interview them. He said that's why Madonna was so cool. Howard said he's said shit about her but she came in. Howard did a live commercial read and took a break after that.
After the break Howard told George that he can go home if he wants to. Howard said he can go take care of himself. George thanked him for that. He said he feels fine though. Howard told him to go. He said he keeps coughing on him. Howard told him to go. He said he loves him and wished him luck with the play. Howard said George was just in for the one day. He said he won't be back tomorrow. Howard gave him another plug for the play and told him not to be a stranger. George said he won't. George went out coughing. Howard told him to get dressed outside and get the fuck out of there.
Howard said George has to leave early to go home and beat off. George laughed and said goodbye. He gave him a ''Live long and prosper'' too. Howard said he's taken that now too. Howard said he loves George. George was still saying his goodbyes. Howard asked Gary to burn George's chair.
Howard said he had to get him out of there. He said he thinks George had enough and wanted out though. Howard said his OCD was going wild during that.
Howard said they had a hypnotist at AGT and it was unbelievable. Howard said he doesn't do anything behind the scenes. He said he took Howie and hypnotized him. He said Howie was shaking hands with everyone when he was done. Howard said when Howie was done with it he thought that he was going to kill the guy. He said the guy put him back under and told him it wouldn't bother him and it didn't. He said the guy was amazing. Howard said things are different there now too. He said Nick is single now and he was making out with a girl during the show. He said Nick is a great guy. He said he has some good people around him. Howard said he may have the most amount of people around himself. Howard said Howie hangs out with his road manager. Howard said he never leaves that guy's side. Howard said he's not sure what's going on there. Howard said Nick showed up late to the set once. Howard said he must have been busy in his dressing room. Howard said it's a new Nick. He said he's enjoying seeing the guy so happy. He said he has bounce in his step. Howard said there was one chick there who was so hot. He said she was like a model.
Howard said Heidi is always talking about her boyfriend. Howard said she left the show in a nurse's outfit. Howard said he missed that but he heard about it. Howard said he's out of there as soon as Nick says ''Goodni...'' Howard said Howie told him about the nurse's outfit. He said that he's not sure why she would do that. Robin said she must want to start the role playing at the door. Howard said she's very sexual. He said she also had a cough like George's and she was coughing all over him. He said she sounds like a lot of fun though. Howard said she sounds like a major player. Howard said he heard some other things that he isn't sure he can talk about. Howard said they all take a plane together from Los Angeles. Howard said something happened up in the plane. Howard said they did reference it on camera. Howard said it's a sexual thing but he's not sure if he can talk about that. Robin asked if someone joined the mile high club. Howard said it's not his story to tell. Howard said nothing good happens when he's around. Howard said he's just there to judge. He's not there for any nonsense. He said that's just not his gig.
Howard said he's a really good judge. He said he made a kid cry and he didn't see it coming. Howard said he thinks it was the second day. He said this 10 year old kid comes out and dances around. Howard said he was like a 10 year old. Howard said he went first after the kid was done. Howard said when it's a good act they go first. Howard said he told the kid that he didn't think he was ready for the stage. Howard said in a couple of years maybe he'll be there. Howard said the kid broke down crying. Howard said then the other three judges put him right through. Howard said he wasn't saying anything mean. He said the point of the show is that some people are told no. Howard said it never looks good when a white guy tells a black kid he can't live his dream.
Howard said that video of him making a kid cry from 2012 has 54 million views. Howard said now they'll have a new one. Howard said this one is really heart breaking. Howard said he'd like it if parents would prepare their kids for something like this. Howard said he doesn't want to make kids cry.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said they do that a lot with Howard where they break it down gently and then the other there are nice to those acts. Mariann said Mel lost some weight and she looks fantastic. Howard said Mel is very pretty. Mariann said that Mel is the only one who never says hello to her. She only says hello to her fans. Mariann said that Nick's mother was there and she was very young looking. Mariann said she feels the vibe with Nick too.
Howard said he had to go after Mariann started to ask Robin something. Howard said Nick finds reasons to take his shirt off at the show. Howard said it takes you by surprise. He said he's pretty sure nick could kick his ass pretty easily. Howard said Nick boxes so he's going to leave him alone. Howard did another live commercial after that.
Howard said maybe they were just fucking with him about what went on during the private jet flight. Howard said that must be what they're doing.
Robin brought up how Bruce Willis and Demi Moore were at Dancing with the Stars last week. Robin said that they were there for their daughter. Howard said she was really good too. Robin said she's wondering how often they'll show up.
Robin said in the fall the Dancing with the Stars show will have Bruce Jenner making his debut as a woman there. Howard said that's bullshit. Howard said they'd have to pay him a ton of dough for that. Robin said maybe they will. Robin said that he's apparently having his gender reassignment surgery this summer. Howard said that would get 100 percent tune in if that happens. Howard said every person will tune in.
Robin read about how Brian Williams has made his first public appearance since he was suspended from NBC. Robin said that he's got a 6 month suspension. Robin said the talk is dying down and they seem to be letting him just do his thing. The guys talked more about Dancing with the Stars and Bruce Jenner. Howard said it's weird when a dude becomes a woman because we can see his tits before but not after the surgery. He said it's such hypocrisy.
Robin read a story about Larry King and how he's supposed to be retired but he's still working. Robin said there is a story about Larry's day. Robin said he takes his son to school and then goes to get his hair done at a salon. Howard said he has like 5 strands of hair. Robin said then he goes to a bagel shop and hangs out with friends. Howard said that's weird that he gets his hair done. Robin said later he reads newspapers and has lunch with an associate. Robin said he does some work during the day too. Robin said he may do a guest spot on a sports radio program. Howard said he's jealous that he has that kind of time. Robin said Larry also says he ''Twitters'' every day. He uses a flip phone so he can't do it on there. Robin said he calls an assistant and dictates his Tweets. Howard said he can't believe he doesn't have a smartphone. Howard said you'd think he'd want to be up with that. Robin said that's how Larry does his thing.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who asked if he saw Jimmy on the Late-Late Show with Will Arnett. Howard said he didn't see it. Howard said he saw Jimmy's shows from South by South West. Howard said he did some really good interviews. He said he did one with Bill Murray. Robin said he was dressed as a cowgirl. Howard said his legs weren't that bad. Tommy said he thought of Howard because of Bill Murray. He said he enjoyed Madonna too. Tommy asked about John Krasinski because he thinks he's hung out with him. Howard said he knows John. Tommy said that John and Will Arnett were talking and crying together. Howard said they were probably doing a bit. Howard let Tommy go after that. They played him off with his theme song.
Howard said that he's going out to L.A. for AGT and Jimmy wants to throw him a party. Howard said he thinks the party thing is over. He said he just wants to hang with Jimmy. Howard said they have him working round the clock out there. Howard said he's not going to be fun. Howard said next January he's going to be a lot of fun. He said he's going to be like Larry King and uncomplicate his life. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how Kerri Russell is allegedly dating her co-star from The American's. Robin said that if they break up it must be a nightmare. Howard said that she's very attractive. Howard said she also dated someone on the cast when she was on Felicity.
Robin read a story about how Kathy Griffin may come back and be a permanent member on The View. Howard said Kathy probably press released that herself. Robin said they claim that it's sources on the show. Howard said it would be funny if she joined and then quit.
Robin said that Taylor Swift has purchased the TaylorSwift.porn and .adult web sites. Robin asked Howard if he's going to do that. He said he can't buy all of those things. Howard said he bought RobinQuivers.porn. Robin said she'll buy HowardStern.porn then. Howard said he's not sure it's worth it.
Robin read a story about an attack at a New Orleans airport where a man attacked TSA agents with a Machete. Robin said the man is dead and authorities aren't sure what motivated the guy. Robin said the man was 63 years old and he died at the hospital after being shot by a sheriff's deputy. Robin had some audio of a witness talking about what he saw there. Howard said his uncle had to do that to a guy who took a swing at him with an axe. Howard said he put 5 slugs in that guy. Howard said now you can't do that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Bruce Jenner transitions into a woman and dates men, does that make him gay? Howard said he read that he is doing this to be a lesbian. The caller sounded surprised by that.
Robin read a story about a man who fell off a cruise ship late Sunday night. Robin said they're searching for the man now. Robin said they haven't found him yet.
Robin read a story about Ted Cruz announcing that he's running for president. Robin said he made the announcement with a video on twitter. Robin had some audio from that video.
Robin said that California Governor Jerry Brown says that their drought is talking about how this is what climate change is going to bring. Robin had some audio of Brown talking about that. Howard said he likes that guy. He said he always has and he's sad that he never became President.
Robin read a story about a driver less car that's making its way across country. Robin said the car will travel 3500 miles over the next 10 days.
Robin read a story about who comprises the Broadway audience. Robin said 68 percent are female. The average age is 44 and 80 percent are bought by Caucasian people. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon said they have a poll up today asking if Howard was too hard on George for being sick or not. Jon went to break after that. He said Rude Jude will drop in after the break.
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Jon said that Howard can identify with his upbringing. He asked if he had heard about the fight he had with Chet Haze. Jude said he had and he was sorry he was misunderstood. He said that he gets paid to speak like that and he's not going to try to change that. Jude said he's not putting on an affectation. He said this is just the way he talks. He said he warns girls ahead of time that he's not black but he sounds like it. He said otherwise they won't call him back.
Jude said that's how much he wasn't aware of how different he sounds from his face. He said he's with it every day and that's just the way he sounds. He said apparently he sounds like a black man. He said if you get ahead of it then it works in the dating thing.
Jon said that Jude has banged quite a few women. Jude said he likes pussy and he likes doing drugs. He said pussy and drugs are awesome. He said he hopes that some day he'll meet a nice girl. He said he doesn't feel like stopping to meet a nice girl though.
Jon asked what it was like meeting George Takei. Jude said he didn't even see him, he only heard his voice. Jude said that he was on autopilot the whole time. He said it was so great to meet Howard. He said that he just kept in mind to just be honest and have fun. He said that's what he kept thinking the whole time.
Jon asked Jude if he felt like he was in therapy in there. Jude said he didn't take it that way. Jon said the therapy he talked about getting out there in L.A. is pretty messed up and disrespectful. Jude said that she took a phone call two different times during therapy.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wants to comment on his accent. He said it's authentic. He said anyone who calls in from Detroit sounds like that. Jude said he's from outside of Detroit in Pontiac and that's like the red headed stepchild of Detroit. Jude said he and his sister lived in a closet. He said that's where he lived for years. Jude said he wasn't like 90 percent of the kids he went to school with.
Jon asked Jude if he ever imagined he'd be where he is now. He said he has had some life. Jude said that he never thought so. He said it's crazy. Jude said he was lucky that he got on Jenny Jones. He said people have liked him since then. He said that he started crying when he got his book picked up by Simon and Schuster. Jon said he thinks he was a great guest today. Jon gave Jude some plugs for his book and his radio show that's on at 4 this afternoon. Jon went to break after that.
Gary said they did this just for George. Jon said that George is going to be on Broadway later this year. Gary said he knows Howard will go. Gary said he's a good friend of the show and he thinks Beth will talk Howard into going. Gary said he and Jon have to go see it. Jon said they're going for different reasons than other people might be going for. Jon said that Howard doesn't enjoy musicals though.
Gary said that he spoke to George about this contest about 12-15 days ago. He said he would sneeze on the phone and it would shake his car. He said he thought if George wasn't feeling good today he wouldn't have shown up. He said he thought the arrow was going to be pointed at him but he didn't know what condition George was in until today. Gary said that Robin tried to help but Howard didn't want to hear it.
Jon said Gary's throat clearing took a hit today. Gary said the more Howard brings it up the more it will happen.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they get guests easier now that Howard is on AGT. Gary said he knows that a lot of publicists will see Howard on AGT and mention that they see a different side of him. The caller was wondering about Robert Plant and Jimmy Page though. Gary said he doesn't think that will help get them on the show.
Gary said that Howard isn't happy being back at AGT. Jon said Howard keeps alluding to wanting more free time. Gary said someone in the office said that they're going to lose their jobs because of AGT. Jon said Howard may stop doing AGT but that doesn't mean he'd stop doing the radio show. Gary said he did allude to that toady. Gary said he does wonder when the day will come when Howard wants to do nothing. Gary said he thinks it'll be a more gradual thing and it won't stop with the next contract.
Jon said as the contest rolled along he didn't think George could sit there the whole time. Gary said he was like a kid on Christmas morning. Jon said that George was also excited when Jason Ellis was in studio. That led into a Wrap Up Show Rewind audio clip when Jason was in.
Jon said George seems to put Brad out of his mind when these things are going on. He said he must think it's worth it to do that. Gary said he did say something today that made him think he may not see what's really going on. Gary said that George said something about touching someone's penis ''gingerly.'' He said if he's talking about the time Jonah Falcon was in then it wasn't gingerly at all.
Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and had the poll results after that. Jon had Rahsaan come in with the results. Rahsaan said 70 percent of the audience voted that they think Howard was too hard on George. The guys spent a little time talking about how Howard will blame George's cold if he gets sick himself. Gary said he thinks about 30 days. Jon agreed. They wrapped up and ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:50am.
Howard started the show talking about how he was lecturing the boys on politics. Howard said they get the joy of talking to him in the morning. Howard said he was talking about Ted Cruz. He said he's such a fucking douche. Howard said he chose Jerry Fallwell university. He said Jerry Fallwell was the biggest scum bag on the planet. Howard said that he was against anything that would help people get ahead in the world. Howard said as soon as you hear that you know abortions, gay marriage and gun control are all off the table. Howard said he doesn't know why anyone even touches that issue. Howard said just leave it alone, it's working fine. Howard said it's not the ideal way of practicing birth control but it works in a world that has too many people in it.
Howard said the one thing you can say about the guy is that he has been called a really smart guy. Howard said he's not very experienced in politics but he has about as much experience as Obama. Howard said he graduated Harvard law.
Howard said he wants to talk about something more cheerful. He said he has some audio of Richard's dad talking about life on the farm. Howard said it's kind of sweet that he calls his son. Howard said his dad never talks to him. He said he went to see him on Sunday and he doesn't think he had a thing to say to him.
Howard played the audio of Richard's dad leaving a message for him talking about the weather and talking about eating some fried rabbit. Robin said she's never heard of fried rabbit. Howard said that's the least of it. He said that's the most normal thing they eat. Howard said he remembers when Howard TV was out there showing what was going on out there. Howard said they wear eating squirrel and things like that out there.
Howard said they took Richard's dad's voice and called a random stranger to see what would happen. Howard played the clip where they had Richard's dad talking to a woman about going to Taco Tico and asking her what she thought he ate and things like that. The woman was talking to him and going along with the discussion but she told him he had the wrong number.
Howard said it's an interesting relationship there. Howard said that Richard's dad talks about what they eat and what died at the farm. Howard said back in slave days they had to eat whatever was left over. Howard said that Richard's dad would talk about selling raccoon feet to the black people. Howard and Fred were doing impressions of Richard's dad for a minute. Richard said that you have to leave the feet on a raccoon because people will think you're trying to sell them a cat. Robin sounded shocked by that.
Richard said he and his dad were talking about sports over the weekend. Richard said his dad has been leaving him these messages since he moved out of the house. He said he loves hearing about that food. He said deer chili is like his favorite food. He said the one thing he doesn't like is quail because he has bitten into the buckshot in it. He said he's chipped teeth because of that. Howard asked if you shoot them in the head. Richard said you don't. He said if you shoot them too good then they explode.
Howard played a clip of Richard's dad leaving a recipe for fried turtle. He talks about chopping their feet off and then peeling the shell off and peeling the meat out of there. Richard's dad was talking about how to fry it up too. He said it's real good.
Howard asked if Richard ever ate fried turtle. Richard said he has and he likes it. Howard asked if he's ever eaten a cat. Richard said he hasn't. He said that he will ask his dad if he has but he doesn't think he has. He said maybe a bobcat but not a cat. Howard said he bets he has. Howard said maybe not every day but he bets he has sampled it. Richard said living in New York they may be more likely to do that.
Howard asked if Richard's dad will stop and pick up road kill. Richard said he will. He said you never know what you'll see in the back of his truck. Howard said he bets that it's still moving at times. Richard said they knew a guy who went deer hunting and he put it in his truck and it came back to life. It kicked him and cut his throat which killed the guy. Howard asked if he has ever been served something with tire tracks on it. Richard just laughed.
Richard said most of the road kill is stuff that his dad accidentally hits. Howard asked how often he hits stuff with his car. Howard said he has never killed anything with his car. Howard asked what's with his dad. Howard said it seems like it's way too much. Richard said they have a long drive into town. He said it's like 10-15 miles. He said it's all gravel roads. Howard wondered if he'd kill a person. Richard said he doesn't think that would ever happen. Howard said he can imagine him calling and saying ''we have a fried Jew for dinner tonight...'' Howard had Richard laughing as he talked about digging out the meat from the Jew. Richard said he doesn't think there's many of those in Kansas. Howard was joking about how his favorite part is the rocky mountain Jew balls.
Howard asked how his dad's health is. Richard said it's good. He thanked him for asking. Richard said his dad is a retired railroad worker. He said he was more of a hunter than a farmer. Howard did more of Richard's dad's voice and talked to Richard about raising him on the farm.
Howard asked if his dad can tell if a racoon is rabid. Richard said he thinks that it cooks out. Robin said you have to kill everything by cooking it through.
Howard said his old man is the real deal. Howard said whatever he's killing he's eating. He said he has no problem with that. Richard said he saw his dad slicing up a catfish and when it flopped it cut open his arm. He had to get like 30 stitches.
Howard asked Richard if he has ever done that noodling thing. Richard said it's illegal in Kansas. Richard said he knows guys who have lost fingers to snapping turtles. He said you can get bitten by water moccasins too. Howard said that the rabies adds flavor. Robin said you get a good one when you get the rabies.
Richard said he had a teacher who was bitten by a rattlesnake twice. He said that he didn't have a way to get treatment so they just tied him to a bed for a couple of days.
Howard asked if Richard's dad would eat a rat. Howard said G. Gordon Liddy talked about eating them. Howard said that he thinks his dad has eaten them. Richard said he'll ask. He said that he has had possum. Howard said he's seen them up close. Howard said he saw one of those things that lives in water but it's like a Possum. He said they are ugly mother fuckers. Richard said they have things called Nutria down in New Orleans.
Howard said they have a whole different way of life out there. Howard said he's so glad he lives there. Richard said they went to a party once and they had barbecue racoon and this woman ate a bunch of it not knowing what it was. When she found out she started throwing up. Robin asked if people move out there and then start seeing all of this stuff and freak out. Richard said he thinks everyone who lives around there has lived there most of their life. Richard said his dad thinks he brought squirrels there in the area they live and he may be responsible for that.
Howard said Richard's dad had some deer jerky and Isaac got sick eating it. Richard said he had it and he was fine. He said he remembers Isaac going out there to film and calling back to talk about the stuff he saw out there. Richard said Isaac hit a deer with his rental car too. He said he's not sure if it died there at the scene or not. He said it's possible it just ran away.
Howard said that if you eat hot dogs or something out there then you're not cool. He said that you have to go out and kill your own stuff.
Howard asked if his dad eats insects. Richard said he doesn't think so. Robin said that's weird to do that. Howard said he bets he has had them. Richard said maybe. Howard asked if they eat the cock too. Richard said they call it an Arkansas toothpick. Howard asked if they eat the eyeballs. Richard said they don't but he kept his pet Calfie's eyeballs for a school science project. Howard said he should double his intake of alcohol after hearing all of this. Richard said you do try to use most of the animals. Howard said if that was his pet there's no way he could carry around the eyeballs.
Howard said Jeff the Drunk left Richard a voicemail. Howard played that and Jeff was talking about how he's drinking too much lately and he should take a look at himself. Howard said imagine that. He said he has to take a break. Howard said Richard's dad is like first man. He said he loves the guy. He said he has a good feeling about the guy. Howard asked how old he is now. Richard said he's 71 now. Richard said his mom loves doing all of that stuff too. Howard said Richard's dad looks 90 so you know they've had a hard life. Richard said he's weathered too. He said that's from working in the fields. Robin said it's from drinking.
Howard said he loved that his dad screwed up in the message saying ''Hey Richard, this is your son... I mean this is your dad.'' Howard said his dad is doing a good job with the turtle thing. Richard said they have to take them out or they'll kill off the pond. Howard said he's like the Freddy Krueger of turtles. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he heard Gary on the Wrap Up Show talking about clearing his throat. Howard said he has avoided saying anything about him clearing his throat for about a year. Gary said that's just not true. Howard played a clip of Gary talking about how he pins the throat clearing on Howard. Howard said he's blaming him for clearing his throat. Howard said that's outrageous. Howard said he's not responsible for his foot fungus. Gary said he had anxiety thinking about that clip today. Howard said Gary was so phlegmy this morning and he refused to clear his throat. Howard said you can feel Gary swallowing whatever it is and it's disgusting when you're eating breakfast. Howard said he has a nervous reaction to the whole thing. He said Gary has a phlegmy voice. Gary said his doctor says there's nothing wrong. Howard said he dos get a phlegm build up. Howard said it's so thick in his throat and you can hear it rattling around in there. Howard said then he swallows. Howard said his new thing is coughing to try to hide it. Everything is gross.
Gary said he was talking to High Pitch Eric who is in the green room. He said he's got 4 different prescription bottles in his hand. Howard said Will walked in and said that he thinks Eric can't have much longer to live. Howard said he has 4 pill containers in his hand. Howard asked why he carries them. Gary said he's not sure. He said he has Percocet, Klonopin, and Tramadol which is a painkiller. Gary said that he asked Eric what he weighs now. He said Eric said he went to see his sleep doctor but it had nothing to do with what he was asking.
Howard said Eric has all of these things in his life and he can't imagine how those things are being paid for. Howard said he should bring Eric in.
The guys brought Eric in and Howard said he's moving slow. Eric is 43 and he was moving slower than Howard's 93 year old dad. Eric said he has a displaced, herniated disc. Howard said his gums are bleeding too. Eric said he brushed his teeth this morning. Howard said he's hard to handle.
Gary said the other thing that's going on is that the back of his head sweats now that he's bald. Howard said he has blood all over his teeth. Howard asked what he's going to do about all of this. Eric said he fell off his diet. Howard asked where Jon Leiberman is. Gary said he's supposed to be there. Howard said Jon is doing a special about Eric. Howard said Leiberman came away thinking he's more of a disaster than Big Foot. Eric said you should see what Leiberman found under his desk. Howard said he can't look at Eric.
Eric said he has food in his room and he always has junk food. He said he hides it sometimes. He said Leiberman found a box of Twinkies. He said he'll eat a whole box when he plays Playstation. He said Leiberman found the whole box behind his desk.
Jon Leiberman came in and Howard said he's lost some weight and he looks handsome. Howard said Eric could do that. Howard said Eric is going to die young. Eric said he's not going to. Eric said he heard Howard say he doesn't want him to die and he thanks him for that. Howard said he thinks it's just days away.
Jon said they went to lunch and Eric orders a huge plate of Fettuccine Alfredo. He said it's a huge pile on his plate. He said then Eric pours on the entire shaker container of cheese on top of that. He said by doing that and ordering the 3 sodas it's not the best scenario. Eric said the Fettuccine had no flavor at all. Howard said that's pasta covered in cheese. Eric said he was only in the mood for that or pancakes.
Howard had some audio of Eric eating his Fettuccine. Howard played that and Eric was slurping that down. He asked for another Coke. Jon Leiberman said that he probably ate 500 calories in cheese alone. He said that had to be a 2000 calorie meal. Eric was fine with that.
Howard asked why he drinks Coke. Eric said he needs the caffeine. Howard said maybe a cup of coffee instead. Eric said no. Howard asked why he needs caffeine. Eric said he needs it so he doesn't get headaches. Jon said they questioned him about that too. He said he has a new addiction. Eric said if he doesn't have coffee he gets bad headaches. Eric is also playing Playstation 10 hours a day too. Eric said his friend got him the game system for Christmas. He said he plays baseball on there. Howard said he's like a big Baby Huey. Eric said he was playing PS4 until 5 in the morning.
Howard asked Eric how much money he's getting from the government. Eric said it's Welfare, not the government. Howard said that is the government. Eric said he gets $91.50 twice a month. He said he gets money from his dad too. He has health care that takes care of the people who help him out. Howard said this is why the country is going bankrupt.
Jon said they took Eric to the gym and Eric had no idea where the gym was. Eric said not in his area. He said he was going to the one in Union Square. Jon asked how many times he went there. Eric said he went more than twice. Jon said they went looking for the gym and Eric sounded surprised when they found the gym. He said they have a hydro massage machine there and Eric worked out for about 6 minutes. He said he did a few reps on a rope pull down and then a bench press. Howard asked how he gets back up after laying down. Jon said it's a process. Eric said he just pulls himself up by the bar. Eric went into the hydro massage thing. Eric said it's very comfortable. Howard played some audio of Eric talking about his ass getting a massage on that machine.
Howard said this is a life of no work and the government paying his expenses. Howard asked if he's been back to work since. Eric said he hasn't.
Jon said he should be getting better after the incident with the women in his building. Eric said not yet. Jon said they have charges of Eric peeping on women who live on the floor where he lives. He said they found that in the male bathroom he prefers to masturbate in the stalls there. Howard said he should do it in his apartment. Eric said he can do it in there. Howard said that's a weird thing. Eric said he doesn't do it too much. Robin said you can't compare Ronnie to this.
Eric said they accused him of peeping in the women's shower. He said that it was just a rumor. He said he doesn't do that. Eric said he would never do that. He said he's moving to another floor in the building. Eric said that's why he's been so depressed. He said he was accused of something he's never done.
Howard said he imagines that he has to replace his calories after doing something like that. Jon said he was wondering where they were going to lunch even before the gym. Eric said he's hungry all the time. He said he has 3 or 4 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast. Robin said that he should do away with the bread. Eric said there's no place for the jelly and peanut butter then. Howard said he should just have one sandwich. Howard said he stops himself and knows he'll get fat if he eats more than one. Howard said Eric is just eating until he explodes.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said this is disgusting. He said he'll throw up if he hears about his bloody gums again. He said Eric is a drain on society and he doesn't eat one good thing. Howard asked how big his shits are. Eric didn't get a chance to answer. Jon said they learned that Eric will not defecate outside his building. He said he won't go at the gym or there.
Ralph asked what the rest of the people are like in his building. Jon said it is a mix of people who live there. He said Joey Boots lives there. He said the building is well maintained and it's a nice place. He said it is a good place to live.
Howard ran down a list of what they found in Eric's room and there were a lot of things with sugar in them. Jon said there are a lot of baby wipes too. He said he has no fewer than 3000 baby wipes. Howard asked what that's about. Eric said he uses them to wipe down the toilet seat. Howard said he's afraid of germs. He laughed when he said that.
Eric told Howard that Joey Boots was crying one day when he heard he wasn't in the Wack Pack. He said he told him he'd talk to Howard about it. He wants Joey in the Wack Pack.
Howard played a clip of Eric talking about what he likes sexually and what position is his favorite. Eric said he likes 69. He said he's never eaten out a woman before. Eric thought 69 was when you do a woman from behind. He had no idea what it was.
Howard said Eric is considered dull with his low IQ. Howard said he doesn't know what 69 is. Eric said he was confused. Howard said he does function. He said it's crazy. Howard asked if he has ever done a girl from behind. Eric said he has. He said it was a long time ago. Jon said there are some questions about Eric's sexuality. He said that's why they question the accusations about him peeping on the girls. Howard said Eric is close to Joey Boots and they have audio of him asking to cuddle with Joey.
Howard played a clip of Joey saying that Eric has asked him for a massage. In the clip Eric said he has back pains. Joey said he has asked him to cuddle with him too. Eric said he's asked him to tuck him into bed too. He said that helps him sleep. Joey also said he has applied ointment to his anus.
Howard asked why he would want to cuddle. Eric said he did fuck a girl in the ass. Howard asked when. Eric said it was an ex-girlfriend he had a long time ago. He said he fucked her when she was on top of him too. Robin asked if he knows the difference between the ass and vagina. Howard asked if he knows what the clit is. Eric said it's the vagina. Howard drew a picture for Eric so he could pick out the clit. Eric said it was in the middle. Howard showed him where it really is. Robin asked which hole he goes into when he's fucking. Eric said he goes into the clit.
Jon said that Joey says that Eric calls him to go cuddle with him at least once a week. Jon said he's not judging here. He said he thinks that Eric just wants to feel close to someone. Eric said sometimes he's lonely. He said Joey wants to talk too sometimes. Eric said he can sleep better if he has someone to talk to. He said he's not looking to cuddle. He said he's not gay. Howard said he gets that. Howard asked if they're nude when they cuddle. Eric said no.
Howard asked who is more disturbing, Eric or Big Foot. Jon said they are completely different specimens of man. Eric asked whose house is nicer. Jon said they're different. Jon said Big Foot lives with a woman and Eric lives by himself. He said there are a lot of differences. He said Eric still has the plastic wrapping on his mattress. Eric said the building gave him the mattress. He said that the mattress gets ruined if they take it off. Eric said he has sheets on the bed. Howard said he should just take it off and enjoy the softness of the bed.
Howard asked if he has accidents in bed. Eric said he takes medication to sleep and he had an accident. He said that's why the plastic stays on. Howard said he should leave it on. Jon said it's a single bed too. He said it's made for a small person. Eric agreed.
Jon said that Eric and Big Foot both have helpers to help them keep their places clean. Howard said it can't be easy. Eric said his health aide helps with that. Howard asked why he can't do that himself. Eric said he has severe back pain. Howard said if he lost weight he'd be able to help his back. Howard said he should open a window. Eric said he does do that.
Jon said they also found out that he was a baggage handler at the airport. Howard asked why they got rid of him. Eric said because of 9/11. He said he did a bomb threat to a radio station and got fired over that.
Howard said he hopes Hitler is reincarnated as Eric's mattress. Howard said he knows Eric is dull but he has no responsibilities. He said he should stop taking Ambien. He said he should just nap instead. Eric said that he takes it every other night, not every night. Howard said he should just stay up until he falls asleep. He said he doesn't have any set hours. Howard said his psychiatrist doesn't know what he's doing. Howard said if Eric is awake at 5 in the morning then he can just lay there. Howard said it's not like he has a job to get to. Eric said Howard would be a good therapist for him.
Howard told Eric to cut back on the Coca Cola too. Howard said he could lose weight sleeping if he stopped with that. Eric said they took an elevator and they had a note in there saying it might get stuck. Howard said that would be a good thing for him. Jon said that Eric takes the steps in a lot of places because he's afraid of the elevator. He won't do that there at Sirius though.
Howard said that Eric's voice is only the way it is because of psychological reasons. Howard said he has no physical reason for it. Howard said he has to stop with the caffeine. Howard asked what he's worried about. Eric said he can't tell him on the air. He wants to tell him off the air. Eric said it's something he can't talk about on the air. Howard asked him to tell him on the air. He said he's going to throw him out of there before they're done.
Jon told Eric to tell Howard. Howard said he can fix it. Eric said he can't. He said he's afraid that people might ruin it for him. Eric said he was fighting this for 3 years. He said he told Jon on the phone the other day. He said he hates DeBlasio. He said that guy is a fucking asshole. Jon asked if it's the Hillary Clinton thing. Eric said that's not it either. Jon said he can't say what it is but Eric should tell Howard.
Eric said that they fucked with Eric the Actor and his lawyer told him not to tell. Howard took some guesses but Eric refused to say. Howard asked if he's in line to take over for Brian Williams. Eric said no. He said no to a bunch of things they guessed. Howard said he's not going to talk to him off the air. Eric said something good is happening. He said he won a case and he can't say what it is because people will fuck it up for him. Jon said that maybe they can say it in veiled terms. He said that Eris is going to have more income in the future. Eric said he'll write it down. Howard said he can't see it. Jon said it will make Howard crazy.
Howard said that's great if he's getting money. Howard asked if he's afraid he's going to spend it all. Gary said if he gets $100,000 then this whole thing he's on now ends. He said when that money is gone then what does he do? Eric said it's not that much money. Howard said he doesn't know what to tell him. He said he should give up soda and he'll be able to sleep. He told him to stop worrying. Howard asked him to repeat what he just told him because he saw this blank stare on his face. Eric told Howard what he heard. He said that he can sleep whenever and he should stop taking Ambien. Howard said he should stop jerking off in the bathroom too. Eric said he'll do it in the garbage can. Howard said he should do it into a tissue.
Howard said that Jon got to see Eric in his everyday life. Jon said that he's taking so many medications too. He said he has 17 pill bottles lined up. Eric said he knows what he takes. Jon said he has them all lined up so he knows what to take in the morning and in the evening.
Howard asked if Jon saw Eric naked at all. Jon said he did not but he knows Joey has. Eric said he had a problem with his ass and Joey helped him out with that. Howard said he's a good friend. Howard asked if he's ever lubed Joey's ass until white stuff comes out of his cock. Eric said no.
Howard said that Eric is playing this Playstation thing for 10 hours a day. Jon said they are shocked that he can master that but not a job. He said they ask him about that in the special. Howard said he told Eric three things and he wasn't able to remember them. Jon said there are parents of his brain that works very well. He said that Eric got this street vendor to install a vending machine in the building and he had no permission to do that. He said the guy gave Eric $100 and funny money to use in the machine. Jon said Eric has access to free meals all the time. He said the people at the Humus and Pita Company have offered to feed him for free. Eric said the cold weather has kept him away from there.
Jon said that the vending machine has Eric's favorite snacks in there. Eric said they have Snickers. He washes that down with a can of Coke. Eric said he likes to watch The Young and the Restless and stuff on Netflix. Howard said that's what he wants to do. He asked who the idiot is there. Howard said it's him.
Howard gave Eric some plugs and said you can follow him on Twitter @HPErik71. Howard said he's making some appearances too.
Robin asked if Eric is working at Yankee stadium this year. Eric said he can't. He said he has back problems and he has Carpel Tunnel syndrome too. Jon said they told Eric that playing the games and masturbating makes it worse. Eric said they never told him that. Jon said you have to listen to the special to hear more about that.
Howard asked Eric what he thinks about when he jerks off. Eric said he thinks about going on a TV show. Howard said that's a lie. Eric said there's a TV show he wants to go on called Blue Bloods. Eric said there is a fan of the show who he loves so much. He said it's Donnie Wahlberg. Howard said he's jerking off to Donnie Wahlberg. Eric said Leiberman knows that he loves Donnie. He said he met him at the birthday show. Eric said he doesn't think about Donnie. He said he thinks about the show. Robin said he's either thinking of Donnie or Tom Selleck. Eric said he's thinking about the show, not the guys. Eric said he thinks about the hot female too. Howard asked what the best thing about Donnie is. Eric said there's nothing hot about him. Howard said okay. He said he gets the whole picture now. Eric said he likes watching the show while drinking a bottle of scotch. Howard said he's jerking off to the show. Eric said he has to get on the show. He said Howard knows people. Howard said he doesn't know anyone. Howard asked why he gives a shit about that show. Eric said he has to play a detective on the show. Howard said he would watch that.
Eric said he wants to get on that show or on The Biggest Loser. Howard said they're not going to put dull people on that show. Eric said he wants to be on that show. Howard said he thinks he's done with this. He said he's going to throw up. Jon said now Howard sees what he's doing in his day to day life. Howard said Eric has the most blank look on his face. Eric said he wants to get on that show. Howard asked if that's the only thing he's thinking about. Eric said yes.
Howard asked if Eric watches Donnie Loves Jenny. Eric said he does. He said he wishes he was Jenny McCarthy. Howard said he gets the picture now. Jon said they were recording something next to Jenny's studio one day and Eric had his face up against the glass staring at Donnie. Howard said Eric would love getting fucked by Donnie. Eric said it would be non stop. He said he'd be fucking his pussy. Howard said Donnie would worship him. Eric said he would worship him like a princess. Eric asked if he can wait there for Donnie. Howard said he can do that as long as he's not bothering him. Howard pretended to be Donnie and asked Eric what he would do to him. Eric said he would suck his cock. Howard asked if he'd lick his balls. Eric said yeah. He said he'd toss his salad too. Howard said he's not gay at all. Eric said he's not gay. Howard said that doesn't sound gay at all.
Howard asked Eric if he would fuck Donnie if he couldn't turn him into a woman. Eric said no. He said he'd have to be a woman.
Gary asked Eric if he would cuddle with Donnie and let him give him a hand job. Eric said he would give him a big hug if he saw him in the hallway. Howard said that would be a big, smelly hug. Robin said this is bizarre. Howard said Eric wants to be Jenny McCarthy. Howard said he doesn't think he can leave him in the lobby. Eric said he'll be very quiet out there. Howard said he can't do that. He said maybe he can dress him up like Jenny. Eric said he'll do that. Howard said he'll talk to Gary about it. Howard said maybe they can chain him up like King Kong.
Sal brought in a wig for Eric. Sal said he had it in his prop closet. Howard said maybe they can trick Donnie with that. Howard had him stare at Robin for a minute. Eric did that. Sal told him to take off his shirt and show them his tits. Eric said they'll be grossed out by that. Howard said he has to end this because they have Imagine Dragons coming in. Howard said they're going to put this on HowardStern.com. He said he's sure a lot of people tuned out hearing those stories.
Howard wondered how Eric knows that Donnie is going to be there. Gary said that Donnie is there a lot. He said they're attached at the hip when they're up there. Eric said he wants to see Donnie and have a business meeting with him.
Jon said part of their Embedded show is Eric talking about what he'd like to do with a suspect in a crime by interrogating them. Howard said he'll look into him meeting Donnie. Howard said they'll see what they can do. Howard said if Jenny says it's okay can Donnie jerk off onto his tits. Eric said that's fine. Howard said he'll let Donnie know that.
Howard told Jon to check with Jenny to find out if Donnie can jerk off on Eric's tits. Jon said he'll record that. Howard said if he doesn't then he's fired. Howard said it's like a Make a Wish thing because you know Eric isn't going to live much longer. Howard told Eric to stop staring at him. He said it's creepy. Howard said he'll see if they can let Eric sit out in the lobby. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and listened to Rosie for a short time. Howard said he has the guys from Imagine Dragons there. He said they had High Pitch Eric and now Imagine Dragons. One of the guys said he could still smell him in the air. Howard said they have Dan Reynolds there. He said the whole band isn't there though. He said they have Ben McKee and Will Wells there. Will plays keyboards. Howard asked what it's like to not be in the band. Will said that it's fine. Howard asked if it's better to be in the band or be a free agent. Will said that he thinks being in the band would be best. Howard asked if he has asked to be in the band. Will said they have conversations openly together.
Howard asked Dan if he wants to talk about this. Dan said that he is the lead singer. Howard said that he has to have a good voice in the morning. Howard said he could hear him doing his vocal exercises this morning. Dan said he can't eat 4 hours before he goes to sleep because he has acid reflux. He said it's not even that but if he gets any acid reflux then it screws him up. Dan said he had vocal surgery a couple of years ago too so he's really careful. He said he had a polyp in there and it was huge. He said they did 15 shows in 5 days and that may have done it.
Howard asked if he has days he doesn't talk. Dan said he does. He said the surgery was 3 years ago and he has done vocal lessons since then. Howard said he had a band on recently and they're singing better than ever. Robin said it was Hall and Oates. Howard said that they were taught to sing from their diaphragm and that helps. Dan said that's so true. He said that he had to cut diary out and things like that. He said they make a huge difference. Dan said he used to eat whatever he wanted and they'd do 5 or 6 shows in a day and you just can't do that. Howard said they do some screaming in their songs too. Dan said that the coach knows that and you can still massage it so it doesn't hurt your voice as much.
Howard asked if Dan writes most of the songs. Dan said they all write the songs. Howard asked Dan if he gets the publishing. Dan said they split it between the band. Howard asked if that's fair. Dan said he's pissed about it. He said the honest truth is that he feels like it's such a collaborative thing that they should share. Howard said Ringo didn't get the publishing. Howard said that he's spoken to Adam Duritz about it before too.
Ben said they've been through a lot together. He said that Dan bailed him out of jail once. He said he was arrested in Las Vegas once. He said he was out to a concert and he was getting a little wild at a show. He said it was at the House of Blues and he took some of his clothes off. Howard said that's crazy. Ben said it was off stage. Howard asked what happened there. Ben said they had to put him on a timeout.
Howard asked Dan about his very large family. He said there are 9 all together. Howard said his brother used to make fun of his singing. Dan said he had good pitch and his voice was very unique. He said that they called him Cookie Monster. He said his brothers had bands and he wanted to be in them. He said one of his brothers is his manager now and another one is his lawyer. Howard said they're smart guys. Dan said that his mom and dad wanted him to go to school so he did go to college. He said he dropped out after that. Howard said that their songs are about how confusing it is to be Mormon and things like that. Dan said that he hasn't made up his mind about all of that. He said he's conflicted and he thinks everyone is. Howard said you get conflicted about a lot of things. He said that's life. Dan said being in a band like this makes you live cleanly to keep your voice. He said that he's not perfect though.
Robin asked Dan if he has ever ''soaked'' which is when a guy puts it in a woman and don't move. Howard said they were talking about that the other day. Dan said he didn't do that. Howard said Dan dropped out of Brigham Young. He asked if his parents were upset. Dan said his mom tried to be supportive. He said that they wanted him to go back and graduate. Howard said it has to be tough when your siblings are out getting real jobs. Dan said his wife is from Oregon and she's in a band. Dan said that people laughed at him when he said he wanted to do it.
Dan said that their band opened for his wife's band about 6 years ago. He said he got her number and they were sending songs back and forth on the internet. He said they were starting to write together. He said he'd write a song about her but not tell her it was about her. He said she'd fill in the other lines and it was a back and forth.
Howard asked Dan if he ever thinks he shouldn't have gotten married so young. Dan said it is a conflicting thing. He said it's not easy to be married and have things blow up in your life. He said you have to check yourself. He said he knows he married his best friend and someone he really loves though.
Howard said he was reading some of the tweets from the fans and how excited they are that they're on the show today. Howard said their whole life is about discipline now. Ben said it really is. Dan said that's what it comes down to. Dan said it's been difficult. He said that his wife raised their daughter as a single mom. He said he brought them out on the road as much as possible. He said they knew they had to do this thing when they were blowing up though. Dan said that it's still an ongoing thing but they do it because they love each other.
Howard asked if his wife gets jealous when he's out on the road. Dan said she's not a jealous person. He said that helps. He said it might be because she's so much hotter than him and she knows she can get someone better.
Howard asked about Dan's writing process. Dan said that he's pretty reclusive and he'll sing into his laptop. Howard asked about the song Radioactive and if that's the way it comes to him. Dan said he'll have melodies in his head and it starts in a skeletal way. Howard asked if he ever thinks that he's humming a song he's heard. Dan said he has called Ben about that before and Ben will tell him it is another song. Ben said that they can get to a song and a section in the song that it's something they've listened to. Howard said he was reading about Robin Thicke and Marvin Gaye and he thought maybe he wasn't aware of what he was doing. Dan said he thinks there are times when you really don't know. He said there might be other times when they do know.
Howard asked if they knew Radioactive was going to be a hit. Ben said they really believed in that song from the beginning but they didn't get support from the radio companies. They thought it was too heavy for radio. Ben said in Germany they asked for less of a bass line because they didn't think anyone would like it. Dan said that they were told that their mixer was bad and he didn't know what they were doing but that's the sound they were going for with that one.
Howard said Dan gets Radioactive in his head and then he goes and records an album. Howard said Interscope hears it and they think that's the one that won't be a hit. Howard asked how they convince them to make it into a single. Dan said they put it first on the album. He said they knew it was strange and unique. He said everyone downloaded it more than anything else. He said they didn't have a choice, it just happened. Howard said it was on the top of the charts for 87 weeks. Howard said that's a huge thing. Dan said it was cool because it was a slow grow. He said you do get sick of it though. Dan said he's sick of hearing it but not sick of performing it.
Howard said it must be great to hear it on the radio for the first time. Ben said it's unbelievable. Howard said they won a Grammy for that. Ben said it's for Best Rock Performance of a Song. Howard asked if it's cool to win. Ben said it's better than the alternative. Dan said it doesn't define an artist though. Howard said the Beatles didn't win any until later in their life. Howard said it's kind of a joke in a sense.
Howard asked if Dan worries about his appearance. Dan said that's not the strong suit of their band. Howard said that he's a good looking guy though. Dan said Will is probably the best looking. Howard said they should keep him out of the band then. Dan said looks are part of it. He said there are some bands that have really ugly guys in the lead and they're doing fine though.
Howard asked if they worry about dancing around on stage. Dan said he feels comfortable with Howard but not always in interviews. Dan said on stage he feels comfortable. He said he just moves the way he feels it in his soul. He said he's a terrible actor and he can't pretend to move. Howard said Oasis would perform and not move just so they wouldn't look like douches. Dan said that would look awkward for him if he didn't move. He said they do feel free doing that. Ben said that Dan would get off stage and run around. He said you can't contain the energy of Dan Reynolds. Howard said some guys just go too crazy too fast. Howard said it seems manufactured. Ben said you just have to get into it. Dan said people can tell if it comes from a real place or if it's put on.
Howard said their big break came when Pat from Train got sick and they had to fill in for Train. Howard said they hadn't even been signed yet. Howard asked who found them to go on. Dan said he thinks it was the promoter Brian Saleva. Howard said they owe a lot to that guy. Howard asked if they won the crowd over. They said they won some of the crowd over.
Howard said the original drummer dropped out of the band right before they were signed. Dan said it was a month before they got the call. Howard asked if they feel bad for him in away. Dan said he does. He said after they signed they did get a call from the drummer and keyboard player who had both dropped out. They were congratulating them on the signing. Howard said they must have been pissed. Ben said they were all living in a house together with no furniture. Howard said they were opening up for a mime at a mall. Dan said he understood why they left. Howard said then they signed and the guys asked if they could come back. Dan said that it wouldn't have made sense to have them back. He said it wouldn't be fair for the new drummer who had moved out from New York. Dan said that it was never an angry thing. Ben said that they're still friends and they bring their band out on the road with them. Howard said that's like quitting the mega millions a month before the office hits it. Dan said he would be really upset if he had dropped out of a band like that.
Howard asked Dan if he is a depressed guy. Dan said he has been in his life. He said he doesn't think it's that different than the rest of the country. He said he has tried medication but he's scared that it will make him numb on stage or something. Dan said he tried the medication once and that scared him. He said he tried it again and it didn't feel right in his gut so he stopped again. Dan said it all existed before the band. He said people think if you attain X then you're going to be happy and that just doesn't happen. Dan said that there are days when he feels grey and he's just numb. He said that's just part of his life though. He said that he has to deal with it from day to day.
Howard asked if Radioactive is about his depression. Dan said that is part of it. Dan said that he feels his wife bears the brunt of it. He said she wonders why she's not making him happy.
Howard said the guys are going to perform their song ''Radioactive'' with just a bass and a keyboard. Howard said Will is on Keyboard and he is not a member of the band. Howard said he thinks he's talented. Howard said it's just a bass and a keyboard and they'll be vocalizing together. Howard said he loves harmony. He said he heard them earlier and he liked what he heard. Howard let the guys get into the song after that.
After the performance Howard said that was beautiful Howard said that was a nice arrangement. Dan said that was Will's arrangement. Howard asked what they buy when they have a hit song for the first time. Ben said they were on the road for most of the time. He said they bought a house in Las Vegas to turn into a recording studio. Howard said that's nice. They have a hot tub in their live recording studio. Dan said their neighbors are fine with them doing that because they are drug dealing and they agreed not to tell on them if they didn't complain about the noise.
Dan said one day he was walking into the house and this guy waved him down. He said the guy was kind of big. He said the guy said they do some music too. Dan said the guy told him that his bedroom is right next to the studio and he likes the music. He said he gave him the eye like he knew what was going on with him. He said that he thought that they were all cool. He said they love them as neighbors. Dan said that they wouldn't have moved in there if they had known what was going on there. He said they've stolen from them before.
Howard asked about going to a Katy Perry party once. He heard they walked there. Ben said they were in Amsterdam and they were invited to a party so they stumbled over in that general direction. He said he felt like they weren't supposed to be there. Howard said maybe they can move out of the drug neighborhood and get a nicer studio. Dan said the house was made to be turned into a studio. Howard said Dave Grohl thinks that the vibe has to be right to make an album. Dan said it does. He said it feels like real Vegas there. They have used the hot tub to record stuff. They have drained it and put amps in there. One time it overflowed while they were in the studio with all of these amps and things all over the place. They said that was scary.
Howard said that Dan was a missionary for a while. Dan said he was and he stayed in the States for that. He said he did that for 2 years. He said the second year he was in Northern Omaha. He said that he was the only white dude for miles around. Dan said it was a really eye opening thing. He said he was working with getting kids out of gangs and things like that. He said it's not a choice for these kids. He said they have to get into them for protection. He said as a missionary no one messes with you. He said that they all believe in god so they don't mess with you. Dan said when you go into a rich area then they mess with you.
Howard asked what's worse, meth or crack. Dan said Meth. He said he was scared for his life on many occasions when he was dealing with meth addicts. He said he's glad that he did it though. He said he doesn't think they'd be where they are now if he hadn't done it. Dan said it has nothing to do with religion either. He said he's already said he's conflicted about that. Dan said that you are changing people's lives when you're a missionary. Howard asked if he got laid in those two years. Dan said he didn't.
Howard asked who they covered when they would cover songs in the beginning. Dan said that in the first couple of years they had to pay to play gigs. He said they'd play covers and if they learned 100 then they'd get paid. They were covering the Cars, the Beatles and a ton of other stuff. Howard asked if that's good training. Ben said it is. He said it wasn't just learning music but where the musicians came from. Dan said he doesn't think they'd be able to collaborate if they hadn't had that experience. Ben said that you'd have to make a new first impression at the places they were playing. They were playing in casinos. Ben said they would get like $350 a week for the whole band and they had to pay their manager out of that. Ben said he had a spreadsheet that showed all of that.
Howard asked if they cover anything in concert. Ben said they played Tom Sawyer in concert in Toronto so that was wild. Dan said that really stretched them. Ben said they were doing a note for note translation of the song. Howard said that's a hard song to sing.
Howard said the new album is ''Smoke and Mirrors'' and they have put out the song ''Shots.'' Dan said they had to pick two singles before the album came out. Dan said he would have just put out the album and let the fans pick the single. Dan said they had a 4 month lead up but next time they're going to just drop it and let the people pick. Howard asked if this one was a quick write. Dan said this was a longer one. Dan said he was overseas when he wrote it. Howard asked if he just mumbles sounds and then fills it in. Dan said that does happen. He said if he saw him writing a song he'd think that he was nuts. Howard said Sia demonstrated how she does that and it works for her.
Howard asked the guys to perform ''Shots'' for them. Howard said this is an acoustic performance of the song. Howard said this isn't the whole band. The guys warmed up for a few seconds and then got into the song.
After the song Howard said they did a beautiful job with tat. Howard said he has to get a band. He said he says that a lot. Howard said Dan has a lot of guilt. He said that he sings about shooting a gun at everyone he loves. Howard said he has darkness. Dan said he does. Howard said he must have broken a lot of hearts. Dan said it's the bane of existence for him. He said the things that matter most are things that he's trampled over. He said he and his mom fought a lot and they didn't always see eye to eye on religion and things. He said he gave his mom hell about a lot of things and he regrets a lot of that. Dan said he did a lot of that with his friends and his girlfriend in high school. Dan said when you're in a relationship you're always looking for the next one. Howard said this is like an apology. Dan said that he's going to try to love the people that he loves the most. He said he can't say he's not going to screw up again. Dan said this is why he did music. He said he can say these things in music and not to their faces. Dan said he has a hard time expressing himself. He said he's being more open with Howard than he usually is.
Howard asked if Dan stays in touch with his parents. Dan said that he is in touch but they're not in the greatest place. He said his mom believes in god like you believe there's a computer in front of you. Dan said he's not saying there isn't a god but he doesn't know. He said he knows 100 percent that a computer is there 100 percent but he can't say that about god. Dan said a mother never understands how much their beliefs impact a child. Howard asked if he's upset with his dad for not asking her to back off. Dan said his dad worked so hard to pay the bills for 9 kids. Howard said a strong man would have broken up that intensity. Dan said that's what he would do. He said his wife is from Oregon and it might be the other way around. Howard said that's healthy though. Dan said his mom spanked him growing up but he won't do that with his kids. He said his wife is with him on that. Howard asked what the disagreement is with them. Dan said it's about giving the kids candy and things like that. He said he wants to come home and love the kids like he's missed them so much. Howard said that can be the cause of a divorce when one parent takes on the punishing the kids. Dan said he knows that and he's working on it.
Howard said he doesn't have time to be his psychiatrist today. Howard wrapped up and gave the guys more plugs for their new album. He thanked Dan, Ben and Will for coming in. Ben said that this means a lot to him because he's a big fan of the show. He told Robin that she looks great. Howard asked if he thinks Bobo is a Wack Packer. Ben said he does not. He said he's too self aware. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later. You can find out more about the band at ImagineDragonsMusic.com.
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Howard had Robin get into some news. He said they can't sit around all day. Fred played Robin into her news with a Little Mikey song parody about Robin.
Robin started off with a story about Eddie Murphy walking on stage at the Comedy Store and possibly having done some stand up. Robin said some people are saying it was more like his Saturday Night Live appearance and it left a lot to be desired. Robin said he went up with Arsenio Hall and Eddie took the stage for about 10 minutes. It wasn't really a stand up routine. Howard said he thought that he was going to get his act together and get back into it. Howard said he doesn't think the guy is into it. He said maybe this is his new form of stand up where he gets up and just isn't funny. Robin said maybe it's an Andy Kaufman kind of thing. Howard said maybe that's it.
Robin read a story about Angelina Jolie announcing that she has had her ovaries removed to prevent cancer. Howard said there's nothing left of her. Howard said why not get them out if you're prone to cancer. Howard said Angelina gave them to Bruce Jenner. Howard said he wants ovaries and she gave them to him. Howard said if Angelina keeps this up she's just going to be a head. Howard said he kind of gets it. Howard asked if she has nips since she had her breasts removed too. Robin said she thinks they're tattooed on. Howard said maybe they could take her nips and put them back on. Robin said they sometimes do that. Robin said she's not sure what they did with her. Robin said she still feels like a woman. Howard asked why they can't make a nipple. Robin said that's why they tattoo. Howard said Benjy told him that they kept Angelina's nips. Howard asked how he knows that. Benjy said in articles they wrote about how they had a ''nipple delay'' where they lifted them up and removed the tissue from under. Howard said good reporting on that.
Robin asked Howard how he feels about artificial intelligence. Howard said he's for it. Robin asked if he's afraid of it at all. Howard said it's always manufactured by man. He said we can unplug it. Robin said it's very hard when something is a feeling entity. Howard said she's watching too many movies. Howard said it will make our lives better. He said that the machines will be able to come up with theories that we won't be able to. Robin said a lot of people are thinking about it. Robin said at South By South West there were people chanting against it. Robin had some audio of tat. Howard said they think they're in a movie or something. Howard said they're a bunch of nerds. Howard told them to go get laid.
Robin said Elon Musk who created Paypal is having concerns about it. Stephen Hawking is too. Howard said he's not worried. Howard said he's questioning if High Pitch is in the lobby waiting for Donnie Wahlberg. Gary said he's in the office. He said Eric is right there but he's about to leave. Howard said hi to Eric. Howard asked what he's doing out there. Gary said they had him recording some stuff for them.
Robin read about Vin Diesel being out promoting Fast and Furious. Robin said he's still broken up about Paul Walker. Robin said he named his daughter Pauline after Paul. Robin said he made that revelation yesterday. Howard said he's more sensitive than he thought. Robin had a couple of clips of Vin talking about losing his best friend Paul Walker. Howard said if he had another kid he'd probably name a daughter Erica the Actor. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
After the break Howard came right back and asked Robin what else she had in the news. Robin read about David Crosby getting into an accident in his Tesla. Robin said no drugs are alcohol were involved in the crash apparently. Robin said that David hit a jogger and he claims he couldn't see because of the sun being in his eyes. Howard said the guy's name was Jose Jimenez. Howard said that used to be a character name on a TV show. Robin read about the 46 year old man who was jogging with his 14 year old son when he was hit. Robin said David was not considered to be under the influence of any substance at the time of the accident.
Robin read a story about the rise in cases of syphilis in the New York area. Robin said they say that Chelsea is the hardest hit area. Robin said that they say they're not sure why there is such a spike.
Howard said they got a lot of email about Gary's phony phone call to a woman they found on a black dating site. Howard said he has to play that again. He found it and played it again.
Howard said Gary is really good with the black lingo. Robin said she wouldn't say that. Howard said he can't believe that shit worked on Mary Dell'Abate. Howard wondered how that woman didn't hang up on him. Gary said he had one line where he asked her if her phone was in her back pocket because her ass is calling him. Howard said they had to cut that down for radio purposes. Gary said that woman really liked him. He said he could have gone out with her. Howard asked how long the call was. Gary said maybe 4-6 minutes. Howard said she listened to 4-6 minutes of his bullshit. Gary said she really liked him.
Howard said Wood Yi used to make prank calls. He said the other day they had him call a black barber shop and say that they gave him a ''whack fade'' and he got into a fight with the barber. Howard played that call where Wood Yi said that he got a Whack ass fade and he looks like Sinbad from 1982. The barber said he don't give no whack ass fades. They had Wood Yi going off on the guy saying he was as serious as a heart attack. The barber insisted he don't give out no whack fades. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Mo'ne Davis who has written a book and she was out promoting it. Robin said one of the kids at a school wrote something nasty about her and he lost his position on the team. Robin said the kid heard that there was going to be a movie made about her and the kid wrote something about her being a slut. Robin said Mo'ne has asked them not to kick him off the team. Robin said that it's just one lapse in judgment and she doesn't want him kicked off.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was singing an Eddie Murphy song as High Pitch Eric singing about himself. Then he did a Jon Leiberman impression and a Joey Boots impression. Howard said he sure puts a lot of effort into his calls. Sour just kept going with his impressions and didn't even hear Howard. Howard said he's been busy calling other shows lately. Sour broke into his Mariann from Brooklyn impression. Howard said he's really talented. Sour did a Angry Alice impression and his Gary impression too. Howard asked him to do Imagine Dragons. Sour broke into one of their songs. Howard asked whose parents have it worse, Sour's or Hanzi's. Howard said Sour seems happy at least. Gary said the noise never ends at Sour's house. He said that it never ends there.
Howard asked Sour if he plays music all day. Sour said yeah and he was doing a baby voice. Howard said that's really weird. Sour was doing the baby voice and taking requests. Howard asked to talk to Gary for a second. sour went into his impression and cleared his throat as Gary. Howard said he had to go after that. Howard asked if he takes medication. Sour said not yet. Fred asked Sour to play Black Dog as Mad Dog Russo. Sour went into the song as Mad Dog Russo and sand Black Dog. Howard said that's so good. Howard asked if he ever calls Mad Dog's show. Sour said he does. He was answering as Mad Dog. Howard asked him to sing a Katy Perry song as Gary. Sour stated doing that but Howard said he had to get out of this. He hung up on Sour after that.
Robin got back to her news and read that there is at least one story about Bill Cosby lately. Robin said the latest one is about a plaintiff in a suit where they're asking people not to believe Cosby and don't let him get away with lies. Howard said if these stories are true then he's one of the worst serial rapists in history. Robin said 3 women are saying that he should be held accountable for his lies and not be allowed to hide behind his lawyers.
Robin read about Red Lobster being in the news. Robin said that employees stopped a woman from leaving a Red Lobster in Ohio, drunk, with her 9 month old child. Robin had the 911 call audio. They were trying to stop her from leaving and the cops were called before she was able to leave. Robin said she apparently swung her baby carriage at someone before she left. Robin said she dropped the baby in the carriage so they brought the child to the hospital to be checked out. Howard said he doesn't expect that kind of thing to happen at a Red Lobster. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a group that thinks it's important for North Koreans to see the movie ''The Interview.'' Robin said they're going to air balloon copies into North Korea. Robin said they were going to try it this week but now they have postponed by a few days.
Robin read a story about James Corden taking over the Late-Late Show last night on CBS. Robin said that they have a new theme song. Robin had audio of that. Howard said he has to watch now that he's heard that. Howard said there are so many shows. Howard said he's so glad he's not on late night. Howard said it's crazy. Robin said James opened the show saying he can't believe he's there. Robin had some audio of that. Howard said it must be a nightmare for him with people complaining about him having the show. Robin said that time slot seems to be carved out for someone from another country. Howard said there are 50 other guys doing it too. Howard said by the time they get to him the other guys have gone already. Robin had some audio of James thanking Craig Ferguson for paving the way. Howard said Craig Kilborn was there before Ferguson and before that it was Tom Snyder. He should have thanked all of them.
Robin read about Jimi Hendrix latest album with 14 tracks from when Jimi was in another band from 1965 to 1967. Robin said the name of the album is ''You Can's Use My Name.'' She had a few clips from the album for Howard to listen to.
Robin read about Robert Durst's arrest and had some audio of his lawyer talking about how he was tricked into saying things on his documentary that got him arrested.
Robin read a story about Adam Carolla and how he has a new movie out called Road Hard. Robin said that he was on Jimmy Kimmel's show last night. Jimmy said that the guy who plays him is a jerk. Adam said he's not sure why he has to put himself into everything.
Robin said Donald Trump is saying that he may have to get into the race for president because he can't support anyone that's running. Howard said he ain't running. They wrapped up the show after that. They were done around 11:15am.
Jon said he thinks that Donnie Wahlberg is going to get all of the votes. Jon said that Eric sounds in love or obsessed with Donnie. Regan said that he thinks that it was scary emotion.
Jon and Regan spent a minute talking about Eric's interview and also about the Sour Shoes call at the end of the show today. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said that the fans know their music but they don't know the band. Jon said they got to know all about the band and how the two members quit right before the band made it big. He said you get to know a lot about the band in an interview like that. Regan said they're real guys and they're very nice. He said they are so good at doing covers too. He said they have killed. He said they did Semicharmed Life and Stand By Me. He said now they know why they cover so well. They were doing that well before they were doing their own stuff.
Jon said when you're in the studio for an hour with Howard you can't hide behind anything. Regan said that the bands go in there and Howard is like a surgeon. He said that Howard started off with the keyboard player. He said no one starts there. He said it's unbelievable.
Jon said before they were in there High Pitch Eric was in there. Jon asked what the grossest thing is that they learned today. Regan said he thinks it's about the level of intimacy thing. He didn't know what 69 was. Regan said everyone knows that as a kid. He said Eric seems to be on the wrong side of the moon with that. Jon said he thought it was anal.
Jon asked Regan if he thinks Eric is gay. Regan said he's not sure if it's sexual confusion or life confusion. He said there might be things going on there that go over sexuality. Jon said that Joey Boots just came out a few years back.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the wig really freaked him out. He said that Eric put that wig on and he was willing to have sex with a guy if he was wearing it. Jon said that he put that wig on and he became or felt like he was becoming Jenny. Jon said that he was ready to let Donnie have his way with him as Jenny. the caller said he guarantees there is a wig in his apartment next to a box of Ho-Hos. Jon said that's another thing they have to talk about. He said Eric's apartment and things like that. He said that you want Eric to have a happy life but you wonder if he's having a happy life.
Regan said he thinks this show is his calling. He said he used to see him outside other radio stations before he found his calling. He said Eric really wins when it comes to all of this. Jon said Eric is conniving. He said that he gets all kinds of deals and he works the angles. He said that takes some type of brain. Regan said it's not an evil genius but it does take something.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if he knows if the limo driver was ever paid by Eric. Jon said he knows it was resolved in some way. The caller said he thinks that this comes back to his mother and this is like a slow suicide. He said he doesn't think he has a way to move past it. He said it won't end very pretty either. Jon asked if he is following the path of Joey Boots and Captain Janks coming out gay. The caller said he does think so.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks this is a transgender thing with Eric. He said he put that wig on and he changed. Gary came in and said that did give Eric the ability to be who he wanted to be. He said he gets involved in gay antics and then he wonders why people think he's gay. Gary said he doesn't think Eric is gay but he is juvenile. He said that it's like he wants to get into bed like a child gets into bed with a parent.
Jon played a Wrap Up Show Rewind clip where Eric talked about ejaculating after a guy touched his penis.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she thinks that Eric is looking for any attention he can get. She said that his sister disowned him and he should be able to find someone on J-Date. Gary said that this is like a 50 quart pot. The caller said that he is Jewish and there are women looking for a Jewish man. Jon said maybe there is someone out there for him. Jon said he thinks that he's more confused about finding himself.
Jon said that the one person he does want to meet is Donnie. Gary said he's trying to make that happen. He said that he's been texting Jenny and her people. Gary said that they'd be making Eric's day if they made that happen. Gary said he's not sure that would be helping Eric or not. Gary said that he loves Jenny and he can see her helping to facilitate it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he doesn't think Eric even knows if he's gay or not. He didn't even know what 69 meant. Gary said that did tell him a lot. He said that shows where his head is at. The caller said he thinks he could be bi-sexual. He said that he may not notice that he has gay tendencies.
Jon asked where Jon Leiberman's head is at after all of this. Gary said that he may get PTSD after all of this. He said they may have to send him off to Toronto to hang out with Hanzi. Jon went to break a short time later.
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Jon asked Regan if Howard shined anew light on this band. Regan said that's what they were talking about earlier. He said he did. He said they're nice guys and they're down to earth. He said they have a point of view and they have a dynamic. He said what happened today doesn't happen a lot. Gary said Jason was saying that it's insight into the inner workings of a band. He said the story about the people quitting the band was heart breaking. Gary said the one negative he's going to get is that other bands are going to ask for that kind of treatment. Gary said that they have to bring the personality. He said they gave something back.
Gary said that some publicists won't book a band for the show and they will mumble something under their breath about why they don't belong on the show. Regan said that they did learn stuff about them today that they didn't know before.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she wants High Pitch to find love. She said he needs a Danielle like Big Foot has. She said she thinks he needs someone who dresses like a woman but has a penis. Gary said they do say that there is someone for everyone. He asked what the odds are for Eric. Jon said he thinks she makes a good point. Jon said Big Foot did find Danielle. Jon said that he'd like to believe there is someone for everyone out there. Gary said he thinks there is but it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Gary said Eric puts zero effort into it. He said he's not looking for someone. He said that he's not on a dating site or anything. Jon asked if he puts effort into anything. Regan said Playstation. Jon said he's right about that.
Jon said Howard has talked about the affection Richard's dad has for his son. Gary said that Richard's dad brings the rural life to them.
Jon also brought up the call that Gary made to that dating site woman. They talked about that for a short time.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the whole embedded thing is disturbing. He wondered if anyone else finds it disturbing that the government is paying for these people. Gary said he's all for government assistance. He said when you give stuff to the masses there are going to be people who exploit it. Gary said that there is a mother of 4 who needs it somewhere but Eric is getting some of that. Jon said he gets that no system is perfect but you hear some of this stuff and it gets to him. Regan said it gets to him too but there are a lot of people who need it. He said that he will go with Gary on that. Gary asked if they deleted the whole welfare system tomorrow it's not going to be in your paycheck tomorrow.
Jon had Rahsaan come in with the results of the poll. Here are the results:
Jon wrapped up and gave some plugs to Regan. They were done around 11:55am.
Howard started the show talking about how he was lecturing Baba Booey. He said everyone is covering Angelina Jolie in the news instead of the other important things that are going on. Howard said Gary asked why more people aren't concerned with the Iran thing and Secretary of State Kerry. Howard said they're busy with ovaries instead. Howard said he is honestly interested in her ovaries though. Howard said he does follow other news. Howard said he doesn't think anyone else follows anything but Angelina Jolie.
Robin said she was on her high horse thinking she was going to write her congressman every week and she hasn't done a thing. Howard said he thought her high horse died.
Howard said Ben Stiller is coming in. He said he did something so funny on David Letterman. He said Ben told Letterman that he's upset about him leaving and he went out in the street to shoot himself out of a canon. Howard said he landed on a parked taxi cab. Howard said it was really funny. He said he started calling Dave ''Jimmy.'' Robin said she loves to see him on award shows because he always does something great. Howard said he tries and not everyone does... like Eddie Murphy. Howard said he isn't afraid to look silly. Howard said Ben will be in later.
Howard said he has a clip of Riley Martin doing his show last week. Robin asked if he is a Wack Packer. Howard said he definitely is. Howard said you have to hear the opening of his show. He said it didn't go very smooth. Howard played the clip of Riley starting his show and Riley was taking forever to start and he said he didn't hear the opening of the show.
Howard said he got a lot of feedback about Sour Shoes after he called in yesterday. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel said that he might be the most talented person out there. Howard said that he called into Mike Francesa's show too. He called in as Baba Booey. He said he cleared his throat multiple times and he gets the ''noine'' thing in a bunch of times. Howard said he gets all of those nuances. Howard said he has the audio. He played that for Robin. In the call Sour was doing his Gary impression and got in mentions of Sonos, vinyl, the throat clearing, the ''noine'' thing and more. Sour was trying to get in mentions of Scott Salem bowling and things like that.
Howard said that is stellar. Robin said he even got in Sonos and Vinyl. Howard said he got all of that in within a minute and a half.
Robin said Sour calls in when he wants to. Howard said people want to hear more. Howard read some of the email and people wonder why he gives more time to Mariann, Bobo and Hanzi and not Sour. Howard said he doesn't control when Sour calls in. Howard said people want Sour in the studio instead of Benjy.
Howard said he has some High Pitch Eric feedback too. Howard read some of that. Some of the fans were sickened by his visit yesterday. Other people are worried that he's not going to last long. Howard said High Pitch was tweeting last night and he was telling a guy that he needed a list of food. Gary said Eric was asking for a ton of food and asking the guy to have it delivered to his house. Gary read the list of the food Eric asked for. Robin said he's still getting people to buy him food. Howard played a song parody that they had Eric sing about taking him to lunch.
Howard read more mail about Eric and how he wanted to meet Donnie Wahlberg. Howard said Gary ran into Jenny McCarthy and she knew about it. She's trying to get Donnie in there. Howard said that may happen. Gary said that Jenny was there one day and Eric followed Donnie into the bathroom. Gary said she claims that Eric slipped him a note saying ''Please put me on Blue Bloods.''
Howard said yesterday they put a blonde wig on Eric and he was willing to have sex with Donnie as long as he was in that wig. He didn't want to do it before that but then they put the wig on and he was ready to go. Howard played a song they had Eric sing about wanting to fuck Donnie.
Howard said they have high praise for Leiberman. Howard said that someone said they should hire him full time. Howard said he is there full time. Howard said Eric had this blank, empty look on his face yesterday like he looks right through you. He said anything you say to him is a waste of time. He doesn't hear you.
Howard read more mail about Eric and his interview yesterday. Howard said people were calling him a train wreck.
Howard said someone asked for Jon to go out to the Christy house in Kansas to do an embedded show there. Howard said they actually did that years ago. Howard said someone asked about some gay sex bit they played but no one knew what the person was talking about.
Howard said people liked Imagine Dragons yesterday. Howard read some of that mail. Howard said that people really enjoyed that interview. Howard asked Robin if she found the singer cute. Robin said he was cute and he has a great voice but she's not into him like Hozier. Howard said they sounded really good yesterday. Howard replayed their performance of ''Radioactive'' and then went to break.
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Howard said what Robin is saying is that they're so good because of their thousands of hours of practice. Robin said that's it in a nutshell. Howard said he was doing an impression of his dad there.
Howard said Mitt Romney announced he's going to fight Evander Holyfield. Howard said he asked Gary to call Mitt's office and get him on. Howard said he wanted to interview him about just that topic. Howard said he has Mitt on the phone now.
Howard picked up on the fake Mitt Romney who said he was almost President and now he's doing this dog shit. Mitt said he'd like to knock the sense out of Evander but he thinks someone has already beat him to it. Mitt said he doesn't want him to mess up his perfect hair though. Howard asked if he has a plan. Mitt said he has a secret weapon. He said his wife is going to show her tits and distract him.
Howard asked Mitt about what the Mormon church thinks of this. Mitt said they don't wear magic underwear unless they're fighting a black guy. Then they need all the luck they can get. Mitt said he has extra room on the roof of his car, next to his dog, if Evander needs a ride home.
Howard said he will be watching this fight. Mitt said that they're going to raise money for the poor. Those people who make less than $2 million a year.
Howard said Mitt is trash talking. Mitt said he's working on it. He read some lines that sounded scripted. Howard asked him to tell them about his training. Mitt said he's been training hard. He said he just bit off Ann's ear.
Howard said he applauds him doing this for charity. Robin said he doesn't seem to be taking it very seriously. Mitt told her to go put a tit in her mouth.
Howard said Mitt seems to be pretty care free. Mitt said that he doesn't have a care in the world now that he's not running for President. Mitt said he can't believe he's not running. He said he has to tell himself that he has to let a younger man run. He said he did raise $100 million though. It was all from a fellow named Mitt Romney. Howard said he hates to say goodbye but he has to let him go. Howard wished him luck with his fight. Mitt said he had one more thing to say. He said he's so excited about this phone conversation. He said he's running for president of his country club. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go a short time later. Howard said that fight sounds like a goof. Robin said it can't be full force punches.
Howard said he asked Arnold who he'd like to see his son with. He had a clip of that answer. He said he'd like to see his son bukakke Jennifer Lawrence. Howard said the names kept coming. Arnold named Selma Hayek too.
Howard said he and Arnold talked about politics but that was boring so he asked him about Patrick breaking up with Miley. Howard played another clip of the phony Arnold talking about how his son was fucking something that came out of Billy Ray Cyrus' balls. Arnold also told his son not to brush his teeth so he could catch a whiff of Miley.
Howard said he asked Arnold how close he is with Patrick. Arnold said he wanted to swap with his son so he could bang the pop star and his son could nail the woman who cleans his toilet.
Howard said Arnold is a fan of their show. He referenced Ronnie the Limo Driver. He said something about how he would want his last meal to be a hairy pussy too. Howard said they got a lot out of that interview. Howard said Arnold had to run after that.
Howard said a lot of guys in comedy can't accept that someone might be funnier than them. Howard said they have to do one upmanship with people. He said it's so debilitating and draining to be around some of these guys. Howard said they really do have a hard time accepting it. Howard said they all think that his success is a fluke. Howard said they have just gotten bad breaks and it can't be that he's just more talented.
Howard said he does love Jay and he loves that he's on their channel. The caller asked what Howard thinks High Pitch Eric does when he jerks off. Howard said he doesn't know but he'll put it on the list of questions for him. Howard said Eric was talking about how he jerks off into the garbage can. He said he's getting nauseous thinking about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was listening to 80s on 8 and he heard that Van Halen is going to be playing on Ellen. He asked if they're going to try to get them in there. Howard said he was like ''what the fuck'' when he heard that. Howard said they must have a new album out. Fred said they are going to be touring this summer. Howard said he loves Eddie Van Halen so much. He said he thinks that he's up there with Hendrix and Leslie West. Howard said he thinks he has to be the greatest out there. Howard said he has influenced so many people. Fred said there is just one guy who can play like that and that's Eddie. Howard said he was kind of shocked because he thinks that Ellen's audience would be shocked by that.
Howard said that there is a good chance that Eddie, Alex and Wolfgang will come in. Howard said he thinks that David is mad at him. Howard said he likes David though. He said it's confusing to him. He said he might have to call him and ask him. Howard said they have had David on the show many times. Howard said he thinks David thought he was going to be nasty to him the day he came in to announce he was taking over for him at K-Rock. Howard said he likes David and he thinks he's really interesting. Howard said he welcomed David to the air and wished him well. Howard said he loves the guy. Howard said then he offered to call into the show when he started. Howard said he can't figure out why David would be mad at him. Howard said he ran into David out at a party in the Hamptons a bunch of years ago and he hung out with him for a couple of hours. Howard said that was cool. Howard said they used to call each other a couple of times a year. Howard said that was before the radio show thing. Howard said they'd talk and had good conversation. Howard said something has happened and David is upset with him. Howard said he got word from Gary about that.
Gary said he doesn't know that for a fact. He said that's just an idea he has. Howard said he thinks it might be true. The caller said when David lost his radio show he did say that after his 3 years were up and he'd come talk to them. Howard said he just reminded him of something. Howard said when David's show was over he was going to come in. Howard said he was being sued by Viacom at the time for no reason. He said he had done nothing wrong. Howard said when David wanted to come on he asked to delay it until he was done with the lawsuit. Howard said he was afraid they'd use it against him. Howard said maybe David was upset about that. Howard said he would have loved to have done that with David. Gary said it was well explained to him why they couldn't have him on. Gary said he has asked David to come on multiple times. He said he's been in the building and hasn't come on. Howard said there is something up. Howard said maybe it's nothing. Robin said maybe he should call David. Howard said maybe if he has a problem with him then he doesn't even want to deal with it.
Howard said there's a possibility he said something about him on the air. Howard said he doesn't know. Robin said they are doing a show. Howard said he knows. He said they just talk and gossip. Howard said Eddie is a fucking genius. Robin said Howard has said so many nice things about the band. Howard said he knows. Howard said David has some bug up his ass.
Howard said the other guys may just come in and hang. The caller said it would be something if they performed. Howard said Eddie came in with a guitar but he never really played. Fred said that was kind of like a car wreck that day.
Howard played a mash up of Blurred Lines with David Lee Roth singing behind it. Howard said he is kind of jealous that Ellen is getting Van Halen. Howard said he's sure the ladies in the audience will go wild. Howard let the caller go after that. Howard said maybe that's a better venue for Van Halen. Robin said she doesn't think so.
Robin said she's going to call David. Howard wished her luck. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel is getting Van Halen next week too. Howard said that's great for Jimmy. Howard said maybe David is going to do every show but Howard's. Howard said he's such a supporter of rock and roll too. He said you'd think they'd want to do the show.
Howard said this is a guy who wants something. He has a problem with Sirius. Howard said a normal person with a normal life might call and ask nicely. Howard said they wouldn't be on the attack. Howard said that's what a normal person would say. Howard said instead Hanzi calls up angry saying ''fuck you'' and that Mariann gets everything. Howard asked Hanzi to just ask for things nicely. Howard asked him to do it now. Hanzi said he has asked before. Howard said he wants to see if he can do it nicely. Howard said maybe he can find out if he can talk like a normal person. Hanzi said that goes nowhere. Howard asked him to do it to see where it goes. Hanzi asked for Wrestlemania tickets. Howard said that's not what he's asking about. Hanzi said the radio thing is taken care of. Howard said he is incapable of asking nicely.
Gary asked if Hanzi thinks that they are aware when his radio is turned off. Hanzi said he wouldn't put it past them. Howard said he is so ill. Robin said that her Sirius has been turned off occasionally. Fred played the Twilight Zone theme song.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she pays for her radio. She said she has 3 subscriptions. She said that she's going to throw him under the bus now. Mariann said she asked to talk to Hanzi's parents last year to go to the Birthday Bash. She asked if he remembers that. Hanzi went off on Mariann calling her names and making fun of her voice. Mariann said she pays for her own subscriptions and she's done that for the past 10 years. She wasn't letting him speak. She called Hanzi a loser and told him to go jerk off in his parent's basement. Hanzi started doing his Mariann voice and goofed on her. Howard said Hanzi didn't win any friends there.
Howard said Mariann tried to help Hanzi out. Hanzi said ''fuck her.'' Hanzi said he's not going to thank anyone. He was going off on Ralph too. Howard said this guy is so angry. Robin said that she thinks that Hanzi's parents have it worse than Sour Shoes now that she thinks about it. Robin said at least Sour's sounds are happy sounds.
Howard said they took Hanzi's picture and showed it to kids. Howard played a clip of a kid saying that he looks like a terrorist. Hanzi said that this show is so scripted now. He said the fans of WWE hate that and Howard's show too. Howard said Hanzi is so angry. Howard asked why he's begging for tickets to the WWE if he thinks that they're as bad as this show. Hanzi said that it's not that bad. Howard asked why Hanzi isn't scripted. Hanzi said he's the most real thing on this show. Howard said he has to let him go. Howard asked what he wants him to do. Hanzi said he wants to be in a movie or something. Howard said he insults the show and then wants him to do something for him. Hanzi said Eric the Midget did that. Robin said he is no Eric the Midget.
Howard played Hanzi a theme song. Howard said he was going to ask Gary to get him tickets but he wasn't nice today. Howard said he's rude. Hanzi said he lets Ralph piss in public. Howard said Ralph works for him. Hanzi said Ralph would be just like him if he didn't work for him.
Gary asked Hanzi who else in this world has given him anything for free like they have. Hanzi said he's contributed to the show. Gary said put that aside. Hanzi said his parents have. Howard said he's the only one other than his parents who have. Howard said that he has to let him go. Hanzi said that they fuck with him more and then hang up. Howard said he has a show to do. Hanzi said they blackball him all over the place. Howard said he's delusional. Hanzi said Howard is an asshole. Howard laughed.
Howard asked Hanzi if he wanted to talk to Bobo. Hanzi said he didn't care. Bobo called in and went off on Hanzi for disrespecting him. He said he shouldn't be disrespecting Mariann. Howard said his wig is blowing off. Hanzi said he's not sure what is more fake, his anger or his wig. Howard played Hanzi out with a theme song. They went to break after that.
Jason came in and said that he feels horrible about it but he missed one note. He said he only got one though, not two. Jason said he put the note in the wrong folder. He said he has two folders for Howard. Howard said they have a program to put the mail in the right folder. Howard said it's called Smart Email. Jason said it's actually Smart Folder and he has it. Jason said he breaks up the days into different folders. Jason said he put that one in the wrong folder but it's the first time in 10 years he's done it. Howard said he'll talk to Jason later about how to get it right. Howard said he has to get those things. Jason said he understands. Howard said he bets he remembered to eat yesterday. Jason said he did.
Howard said Jason is usually pretty good. Howard said people are so fucking disorganized with their email. He said that they do have smart email.
Howard said he has been watching Dancing with the Stars but the only person he's interested in is Rumer Willis. Howard said he's fascinated with her. Howard said he just fast forwards to her dancing. Howard said he likes that she's almost naked on that show. Howard said she's a really good dancer. He said she's on the level of a professional. Howard said it has to be weird being the kid of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore. Robin said she has acted but not broken through. She said this is getting her some name recognition. Howard said he can't turn it off.
Howard said he doesn't give a shit about any of the other dancers. Howard said he doesn't care about Suzanne Somers or Patty Labelle. Howard ended up going off on The Bachelor and how he wanted some girl to go to that awful farm of his. Howard said he thinks he wants off the farm and he needs someone to replace him there. Howard said he guarantees he can't stand that chick he's with. Howard said he'll bet the farm that he can't stand her.
Howard said he thinks his mom and dad own that farm. Howard said he thinks if he doesn't fuck it up then he'll inherit it. Howard said he's such a shit. Howard said maybe he's one of those douche bags that gets paid not to farm. Howard said he doesn't give a rat's ass about him. Robin told Howard about some of the other dancers and Howard said he's not watching unless Rumer is on. Howard said Beth made him rewind to see her practicing. Howard said there is no reason why he should care about Rumer but he does.
Howard said he and Beth talk about Rumer and who she looks more like, Bruce or Demi. Howard said she looks like Bruce with Demi's body. Howard said she is a pretty girl though. Howard asked if Ashton will ever show up. Howard said she probably hates him. Robin said he wasn't her father. Howard said he was her step father. Howard said she probably hates the guy.
Howard said that he will watch any show that she is on. Howard said that bachelor can't wait to get off the farm. That's why he's on that show. Howard asked who else is on that show. JD said Charlotte McKinney is on there too. Howard said that he forgot about that. He said he watches her too. Howard played a bit about JD being a marble mouth after not understanding what he said when he mentioned Charlotte's name. Howard and Fred goofed on JD for a few seconds after that.
Howard said he wants Rumer to replace Letterman. Howard said he is fascinated by her. Robin said he only likes her on Dancing with the Stars. Howard said he wants to see her in sexy outfits. He said he'd watch her do a sexy outfit of the week. Howard said she should be part of the new Letterman franchise. Howard asked when he's leaving. Gary said at the end of May.
Howard said every show in America wants him on. Robin said he's about to do AGT again. Howard said maybe she can take over for Alex Trebek.
Howard played a Beef of the Week with JD complaining about his feed being clogged up by dumb stuff about the show Empire. JD asked these people to stop tweeting about the show. Robin asked what he's even saying. Howard said he'd like to know too. Howard said what he thinks he's saying is that when people live tweet during events they get their feed filled up by that stuff. Howard said JD is saying that the web site Buzzfeed is filling up his feed because they're live tweeting that show. Howard said then he has thousands of messages. JD said that's it. JD said he follows that because they post news stuff. Howard told him to just not follow them. JD said he wouldn't follow them if he didn't have to do it for work. Howard said that's some problem.
Gary said he thinks that his last show will be the last they ever see of Letterman. Howard said he thinks that Dave won't do what Carson did. Howard said you don't see him doing anything else but maybe he'll write something. Gary said he gets the impression that Letterman is done. Gary said he heard Dave on a podcast talking about his son and he thinks that has changed Dave. Howard asked if they think he'll show up on Fashion Police. Howard said he thinks that he'll just go off into the sunset. Howard said he will only do Letterman's show.
Robin said he'll do Jimmy Kimmel's show too. Howard said he has no time to do that while he's doing AGT. Howard said he has such a busy schedule. Howard said he agreed to a week in Los Angeles and now he has to do 12 days. Howard said he feels misled. Howard said they're supposed to do the show in New York but they're doing a long stretch in L.A. Howard said he could be at home instead. He said he was pretty miserable working in New York. He said just imagine him in a hotel in Los Angeles. Howard said this radio show is more relaxing than the TV show. Howard said he has a good time when he's there though. He said the talent is good. He said maybe it won't be so bad out there. Howard said he can't stay in his usual hotel out there. He said the hotel started following Sharia law and he can't stay there now. Howard said he is all for gay rights and all of that. Howard said it doesn't affect him at all. Howard said then this hotel starts having Sharia law. Howard said the owner is an Arab dude. He said that he doesn't believe in having gay people there. Howard said maybe the guy will sell it. Howard said this guy isn't backing down. Howard said he feels bad for the staff.
Howard said maybe he can stay there and hold a protest. Howard said he just wants to stay there. Howard said he can hold a sign saying ''I protest'' but stay there anyway. Howard said he can have gay sex there while he's doing that. Robin said that's a good way to protest. Robin said gay people should go there and have sex all over the place.
Howard said there's a gay character in the new Star Wars. Howard played a bit they crated with fake Perez Hilton and R2-D2.
Howard said he is all cranky about not being able to stay in that hotel out there. Howard said he can't stand noise. He said you hear noise above and below you. He said that he had to go find anew hotel that had a bungalow. Howard said he will be extra cranky out there. Howard said that's why he's not so cranky in New York. Howard said he is so cranky out there in L.A.
Howard asked if no one is staying at the hotel out there. Robin said she's not sure. Howard said this Sheik isn't backing down. Howard said he's having Sharia law no matter what. Howard asked what that is. Robin said if you're gay in a country that has that law then you can be stoned to death. Howard asked how they can have that at a hotel there. Howard said on one hand he hates that stuff but on the other he loves that hotel. Howard said he asked his wife how much shit he'd take in the press if he stayed there. Howard said he figured he'd have about a week of shit. Howard said Jimmy told him that he can stay at his house if the hotel is bad. Howard said he is the only guy who he'd be semi-comfortable staying with. Howard said he has a kid running around now too though. Howard said he could probably ask him to get rid of the kid for a week. Howard said he can have her stay at that hotel that has Sharia law. Howard said he's kind of dreading the trip to L.A. He said it doesn't matter either. He said they work for 12 hours a day so he'd never see Jimmy. Howard said each day is like 2 days out there.
Howard said he's really bummed about that hotel. He said he was thinking the whole controversy would be over. Howard said this Sheik just doesn't care. Howard said when he signed with AGT he figured he had a big payday but it turns out when you do the math he's making about $4 an hour. Howard said it's like being back at WRNW.
Howard said they called a guy and gave him an audition for a diaper commercial. Howard played that big where Sal called a guy and asked a voice over guy to do an audition for them for adult diapers. Sal had the guy singing about shitting and pissing his diaper. The guy was going along with it until he asked him to say that he ejaculated in his pants. Then he told the guy to say he can't tell he shit his pants unless he sticks his finger up his ass. The guy hung up. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he's a big fan of Ben Stiller. He said he's always exciting to talk to. Howard said that he's got to talk to him about something. He told him he was watching him on Letterman. Howard said he heard he just flew in from Rome. He's shooting Zoolander 2. Ben said he's excited about that. Howard said Ben's head is into the movie and he's very into the character. Howard said he has to pull himself out of that mode and promote this new movie. Howard said he has to walk away from that and do this other stuff. Ben said he's directing it too so he feels like he's abandoning it. He said they're starting to shoot in like 8 days. He said they're out tech scouting and trying to figure out how to power the lights and that stuff. He said he's missing out on the most boring stuff.
Howard asked Ben if his family goes with him. Ben said it's spring break. He said all of your vacations in life are based on that. He said they were going to come to Italy for spring break. He said they were going to spend 2 weeks together out there. Ben said it got all screwed up because of this.
Howard said he made just one movie in his life and he knows how difficult it can be. Howard asked if it's better for him to just be focused on that. Ben said they have been through it as a family before. He said that you spend a lot of time working and you feel guilty about that. He said you have to figure out the middle ground. He said they hope not to be apart for more than 3 or 4 weeks. He said last year he was away for like 6 weeks. Howard said that can be a long time. Ben said they do Skype and Facetime and things like that.
Howard said Ben has a lot of things going on. He said he has a show on Comedy Central. Howard said he has a comedy show that takes place around the turn of the century. Howard said that sounds funny to him. Howard said Ben has this movie out called ''While We're Young'' and that's out on Friday. Howard said he's like a mogul. Ben said they shot this movie about a year and a half ago. He said that he didn't direct that one. He said that Noah Baumbach wrote it and directed it.
Howard said Ben was on Letterman two nights ago and he saw that. Howard said he was telling Dave that he is like his Johnny Carson. Howard said Ben told Dave that it was important to tell him this. Howard said it was really heartfelt. Howard said it wasn't shtick. Howard said it was interesting how uncomfortable Dave got with him saying it. Ben said the last time he was on Dave didn't let him say it. He said he's glad he let him come back to get it out.
Howard said Ben was saying he was a hero of his. Howard asked why Dave can't take that in. Ben said he's sure he has a lot of things going on. He said he doesn't like to accept a complimenting. He said he doesn't know him that well. Ben said they say hi to each other during the breaks but that's about it. He said he was going to write him a letter but Dave won't even let you do that. He said he wanted to tell him how much he likes him and all of that.
Howard said that bit he did on the show was a great bit. Ben said they came to him and asked if he wanted to do it. Ben said they sort of improved the thing at the end. He said he improved the ''Jimmy'' thing. Howard said Ben was on the show and gets into a circus cannon and they shoot him and he lands on a taxi. Ben said the stunt man looked nothing like him. Ben said they asked him to wear a tie that the stunt man wore and he said he can't wear it. He said it was an ugly tie. Howard said he's shocked that he won't wear an ugly tie. He said he's done so many things on the Oscars and things like that. Ben said he doesn't have the energy for some of that stuff anymore. Howard said he retired the Fartman costume. Ben said that he thinks about things a little more. He said that he does think about the things he did and how much effort went into them.
Howard said he thinks he was on the Academy Awards and he had the big Joaquin Phoenix beard on. He remembered when he had the green screen costume on too. Howard said the audience hated him for doing that stuff. Ben said they just don't want to deal with that stuff. Howard said the Oscars would be much more fun if they did more of that. Ben said everyone is very aware and not wanting to look bad.
Howard asked Ben if he likes doing the live stuff. Ben said he doesn't like performing live. Howard said he was only at Saturday Night Live for 4 episodes. Howard asked if that's why he likes to craft little films. Ben said that's what he wanted to do there. He said he wasn't good at doing live stuff. He said they had a FOX show but he filmed his sketches. Robin asked if he was okay with taking himself out of that show after just 4 weeks. Ben said MTV offered him a show and he thought that would work out better. He said it was a version of the Ben Stiller Show. Howard said that show is legendary. Howard said Bob Odenkirk, Andy Dick and Judd Apatow all worked on that show. Ben said there were a lot of people who worked there. Howard said the show is legendary and it was canceled all over the place. Ben said they did 13 episodes and they weren't able to keep up with the work flow. Ben said it's a young man's game.
Howard asked if Saturday Night Live asked him to show up for the 40th anniversary. Ben said they did. He said that he was in Italy and he had promised his don he'd take him to an All Star game. He said he flew in for that. Howard asked what kind of man he is for puttinghis son first. Ben said he and Lorne talked about it and he's all good. He said he is bummed that he missed the show. Howard said he heard he was slated to host Saturday Night Live the week after 9/11 and he decided not to go on. Howard said he heard that Lorne was upset with him for not doing it. Ben said they never had a discussion about it but Lorne said something in an interview about it. Ben said he has since hosted the show. He said there was a thing for a while but he respects Lorne so much. He said the show has stayed relevant for all these years. Howard asked if he hates hosting it. Ben said he does. He said he hates having to nail it the first time. He said he'd like a few times to try something.
Howard asked Ben about going to the All Star game and what happened there. Ben said his son was a ball boy there. He said he was behind Floyd Mayweather and he took a picture of him from behind instead of going up to him and introducing himself. Howard said he could have gone up to him. Ben said he did after he took the picture.
Howard said that Joan rivers always said that Ben had something against her. Ben said he has never had an interaction with her. Robin said Joan said that he ignored her on the red carpet. Ben said this is helping him. He said she was friends with his parents. Howard said Joan didn't understand why Ben would ignore her. Howard said she was really ticked about it. Ben said this makes it clear to him. He said he doesn't remember it happening but it may have. He said he heard she was upset with him in her documentary. Ben said the beef started with that. He said he feels bad that they never got to work that out. Ben said it's sad. He said his parents were friends with her and worked with her a lot. Howard said it must be weird. Ben said Howard has helped him heal a bit.
Howard said he was talking to the guys about him. He said he asked about the movies he's been in and everyone said in ''Something about Mary'' when he had the jizz on his ear it was an incredible moment. Howard said he went back and watched that on the internet. Howard asked what it was made of. Ben said it was just some rubbery thing that was attached. Ben said he didn't understand how his character wouldn't feel that. He said he wanted to set up a numbness in his ear or something so the audience would go for it. Howard said you just suspend disbelief. Ben said you have no idea if something is going to work. He said he had the feeling it could be really funny or just horrible.
Howard asked what it was like working with Robert De Niro. Ben said that it was fun after he got to know him a little bit. Howard said he loves the scene where he finds the lie detector and De Niro forces him to take the test. Howard asked if he wrote that movie. Ben said he didn't. He said a lot of people wrote it. Howard asked if he goes in and tells them when a scene won't work. Ben said that he does that. He said he did that with Meet the Parents. He said he was shocked when De Niro said he wanted to do it. He said that was amazing. Ben said that he asked John Hamburg to help out with it and that's who did the final draft of the script.
Howard said he loved the scene when he was rumbling with Will Ferrell in Anchorman. Howard said that must have been fun. Ben said he just went in and did his line and did his thing. He said it's always fun to do that stuff. He said there are no rules for that stuff.
Howard said people are excited for Zoolander 2. Howard said David Bowie was in the first one. Howard asked how you get him to show up for that. Ben said that they just asked him to do it and he did it. Howard asked if he became friendly after doing that. Ben said he did go visit him at his studio. He said that they were talking about doing a song for the movie. He said he's really an incredible guy. Ben said David asked him what he thought of a song he was recording and it was really interesting. He said it's just what you'd think it would be like.
Howard asked what it was like when he was listening to the song. Ben said that Howard knows what it's like to listen to music
Howard said Ben was in a band when he was in high school. Ben said it was an awful band called Capital Punishment. He said they wrote a song called Roadkill. Howard said that people are looking for the album to sell it now. Ben said the album was found and they asked to release it. Ben said that this company is a real company that's putting it out. Ben said the songs aren't great but there are some that aren't too bad. He said his friend Chris had a studio and they went to a studio to record and it was put on vinyl.
Howard asked if they're turning Realty Bites into a TV show. Ben said they thought about it but they aren't going to do it.
Howard asked Ben about doing impressions of guys like Tom Cruise and Bono who don't seem to have a sense of humor and he gets away with it. Ben said he thinks Tom has a sense of humor of he wouldn't do it. He said Tom has done them and he is hysterical. Ben said there are some people that you approach and they don't want to do it. He said they went to some people for Zoolander 2 and they wanted Julian Assange to do it but they weren't able to figure out how to do it.
Howard asked Ben if he ever goes to dinner with these guys like Robert De Niro. Ben said he does. He said he's a good friend. He said they don't do it a lot but it might be once every 18 months. Howard asked how it comes up. Ben said they'll email each other and check in. He said Robert is a real family man and he likes to do that kind of thing. Ben said it's really cool to be able to hang out with Robert De Niro. Ben said he's a shy guy. Howard said he ran into him and his wife is very talkative. He said Robert doesn't say much. Ben said they were shooting a movie at a restaurant once and a black SUV stopped and De Niro saw them filming so he stopped and waved to them. He said it's a great New York moment.
Howard said that Ben shot a scene with his daughter for Walter Mitty and they cut it out. Ben said it was his fault. He said it had nothing to do with her performance. Ben said you never know what scenes are going to end up in the movie or not. He said they knew some of the fantasies were going to be cut. He said it was one that didn't work for that moment. He said it was his mistake for even putting her in a scene that could be cut. Ben said she was great but it had to be cut. Howard asked what that's like. Ben said she wasn't happy. He said she did cry. He said he's glad that she doesn't listen to this show. He said his wife Christine listens though. He said she listens every day but she's working today. He said maybe she'll listen on the app.
Ben said that his daughter is in a movie with him. He said she's in Night at the Museum with him. Howard asked if the wife gets upset about that. Ben said of course.
Howard asked if he got close to Robin Williams working on Night at the Museum. Ben said they weren't really close but they did talk. He said he met him when he was a kid with his mom at the Improv. He said he was probably 12 and Mork and Mindy was on. He said he remembers him hearing a voice whispering to him to ''stay close to your mother, it's safe.'' He said he turned around and it was Mork. He said Robin was still himself when they were working on Night at the Museum. He said he as always kind to people. Howard said that was the last movie he worked on. Ben said he never saw anyone who was so connected to anyone who walked up to him. Howard said that must be draining to put out that much energy. Ben said that's what comes along when someone gives people so much. He said he was able to give it back to people. Howard said it's such a tragedy that they lost him.
Howard asked Ben about this movie and why it's being released so slowly. Ben said it's called a platform release. He said they open up small and then open it up in more and more theaters. Ben told Howard about the movie and what it's about. Naomi Watts plays his wife in the movie. Howard asked if she's a good actress. Ben said she is. Howard asked if he likes her. Ben said he does. Howard asked about Amanda Seyfried. Ben said he likes her too. He said she's from Allentown and his wife is too.
Howard said they have clips and the trailer up on HowardStern.com. Howard said the movie ''While We're Young'' opens on Friday in New york and L.A. The following week it opens around the country.
Howard asked Ben who is mean in the entertainment worked. Howard asked who they should avoid working with. Ben said he hasn't had that many bad experiences in his career. He said he's sure people say he was an asshole at times. Howard said that's impossible. Howard said that when he cut his daughter out of the film that must have been one of those moments. Howard said he loves Charles Grodin but Grodin hates him. He said that he didn't like him on radio or TV but he did like his acting. Howard said Grodin doesn't like his kind of radio. Ben said he is a brilliant actor though.
Howard asked what's going on with Eddie Murphy. Ben said he didn't see him on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he was kind of wondering why he didn't have fun there. Howard said even Dan Aykroyd was surprised that Eddie didn't have some fun with the audience. Ben said there is that expectation for funny people to be funny in front of an audience. Ben said that he wishes he could be serious about something. Ben said that's why he likes coming on Howard's show where he can just talk. He said he has to be shot out of a cannon on some of these shows.
Howard asked Ben what he thinks of this movie Birdman. Howard said he thought it was pretentious bullshit. Ben said he didn't think that's what it was. Howard asked if he liked it or hated it. Ben said he wouldn't say it was the greatest. Howard asked if he liked Whiplash. Ben said he loved Whiplash. Howard tried to get him to bash Birdman but Ben said he thought it was good. Howard said he was hoping he'd say ''Birdman is bird shit.''
Howard asked Ben if he keeps a notebook by his side to write parodies about movies like Whiplash. Ben said he doesn't do that much anymore. He said in his mind he does think about it. He said that he thinks about how funny something could be. Howard said he should keep notes. He said you know he's not going to remember. Ben asked if he saw Still Alice. Howard said he didn't. Ben said that one is depressing. He said that the woman has Alzheimer's. Howard said he was told not to see it. Ben said that it's bad for people of a certain age. Howard said losing his mind wouldn't be so bad based on what's in his head.
Howard asked if he saw American Sniper. Ben said he thought Bradley Cooper was great in it but he wasn't thrilled with it. He said knowing that Clint Eastwood directed it made it that much better for him though. Ben said he liked it but felt it was a little bit long. He said he thought Bradley was amazing in it though.
Howard said Robert Downey Jr. was there and he said that Ben passed on doing the Pinnochio movie. Ben said he didn't just pass. He said they talked about it. Ben said he would work with him in a second on anything. He said that Robert wanted to develop the story and all of that. He said he thinks that he has a passion for it. He said he'll make a great Geppetto.
Howard asked if his parents wanted him to go into the business. Ben said he thinks his father thought he was going to get hurt so he didn't push him. Ben said there is a lot of rejection. He said you have to develop a thick skin.
Howard said he wants to say to him how supportive he was when he'd come on the show when other stars wouldn't. Howard said he anted to say that to him. He said he appreciates him coming in. Ben said he thinks some people are afraid. Ben said it's always nice. He said that if you look in Howard's eyes when he's talking to you there is a twinkle in his eye. Ben said that Howard would ask him about anal whenever he came in. Howard asked if he answered. Ben asked what he thinks. Howard said no of course. Howard said one day Ben will write a book. Ben said that's what his father said. Howard said he has a title for his daughter's book. It's ''My Horrible Daddy Cut Me Out of a Movie.''
Howard asked how his wife is doing. Ben said she's good. He said she's shooting a pilot and Jimmy Fallon is producing it. He said Christine has been a mom for the past 13 years. He said she was focusing on the kids. Howard said you have to admire her for that. Ben said she loves acting still. He said they called her out of the blue and she was thrilled with that. He said the kids get it and they are understanding.
Howard said Ben is developing something for TV. Ben said he's producing a show called Super Sad True Love Story. He said they're developing it now. Howard said TV is the place to be now. Ben said it is. Ben said he loves The Walking Dead. He said he wasn't into it but once he got into it he can't stop now. Howard said this week he raced home to watch it. He said he made a big plate of food to watch it. He said the show is good week after week. Ben said if you're exercising on a machine it's the quickest 43 minutes. Howard said he won't even do that.
Ben said he watches shows that he doesn't have time to watch. He said he's been watching America's Got Talent over there in Italy. He said it's huge over there. He said they even have Italy's Got Talent.
Howard said a lot of acts are showing up from all over the world this year. Howard said he thinks that Cheap Trick should come and perform. He said he thinks they'd be on week after week. Howard said there was a comic/magician who came on to audition and he wonders why more bands don't do that. Howard said millions watch the show.
Ben asked if Howard likes doing AGT. Howard said he does when he's there but he has to go to L.A. for 12 days and he wants to kill himself. He said he can't stay at the Beverly Hills Hotel because of Sharia Law. Ben said he stayed at a hotel recently and he didn't know it was owned by those people. He said he felt bad afterward.
Howard asked Ben if he watches Girls. Ben said he hasn't started yet. He said he hasn't started with Game of Thrones yet either. Ben said he just has too many hours to catch up on to start watching those shows.
Howard asked if he was single when he made Something about Mary. Ben said he was. Howard asked if he had a thing with Cameron Diaz. Ben said no. Howard asked why they didn't click. Ben said he thinks she's cute. Howard said he'll tell him off the air if something happened. Ben said it was a fun shoot in Miami.
Howard said Ben is there to promote ''While We're Young.'' Gary said they have some of Ben's band's music from the 80s. Gary said it's very experimental. Gary told Howard where the music was at. Robin said they're debuting it here. Ben said they played this on Fallon already. Howard played a song called Delta Time. Ben told Howard what the other guys are doing now and they've got big professional careers. Howard played some of ''Muzak Anonymous'' next. Howard talked it up like a WNBC announcer. Howard said that he could have sex to this one... in an insane asylum. Ben said that Chris's parents knew Gene Simmons and they got him to come over to talk to them as a band. Howard asked if they were real serious about it. Ben said they were. He said that Gene didn't sign them to a deal though. Howard said that Ben should have played this for Bowie. Ben said this is like a controlled chaos here. He said they never played live. Howard asked if Ben wrote the song. Ben said Chris wrote all of the songs. Ben said he was just Ringo. Ben thanked him for giving them the air play.
Howard gave Ben some plugs for ''While We're Here'' and asked if there's any nudity in it. Ben said no. He said it is R-rated though. He said there isn't any topless stuff or anything. Howard asked Ben if he would ever show his penis in a movie. Howard said Richard Gere did it and it may have hurt his career. Ben said he didn't see it but he heard the movie Shame has a lot of that in it. Robin said she was turned off but the penis thing with Richard Gere. Ben said that he's also got the show on Comedy Central too. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he likes Ben Stiller. He said they should make a movie together. Howard said he's too busy though. Howard said he hasn't found the right script. Robin said he could be Pinnochio. Howard said at least 5 people would want to see that. He said they'd have to shave his nose down though. Howard said people would think he's lying all the time.
Howard said he has a ton of Madonna/Robin sons. Howard played one from Little Mikey to the tune of a Madonna song. Howard said he likes the new song from Madonna ''Ghosttown.'' Howard said Psych did a parody of that song and hardly anyone even knows it yet. Howard played that one next. He said he likes that one. He said that was Psych doing ''Robin's Ass Town.''
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk. Howard asked where he's been. Jeff said he's always on hold. Jeff said that interview with Ben was great. Jeff also said he fell down last weekend at home. Jeff said he'd all scraped up. He sent a picture to Jason. He fell in his driveway. Howard asked if he was drunk. Jeff said he was. Howard said he's so off balance when he's drunk. Jeff said it was icy out too. He said his hat blew off his head and he slipped and fell when he went to pick it up. He said he was in the driveway for about a half hour. He said he had to call 911 from his cell phone. He said they came and picked him up and stayed for about an hour and a half. Jeff said it took the guys about 5 minutes to get him off the ground. Howard said he should have filmed it for them. Howard said he should have had a 4 camera shoot for that.
Jeff said he's doing a charity gig on Monday. He got in a plug but Howard said no one is going to show. Jeff said it's for a children's hospital. Howard said imagine Jeff scaring the kids at that. Howard let Jeff go a short time later.
Robin started her news with a story about one of Rosie O'Donnell's children. Robin said that people are jumping on her case. Robin said that the mother of one of her kids says that Rosie stole her kid. Howard asked how old she is. Robin said the kid is a teen. Robin said the mother says that she was in a vulnerable state when Rosie came in and took her child. Robin said the woman also says that she was a drug addict at the time. Robin said Rosie saved that child's life and now the mother is saying that Rosie probably paid off her husband to get the child adopted. Robin said this all started when the daughter reached out to her real grandparents. Now the mother and daughter are in touch.
Robin read a story about how there is no love lost between Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa. Howard said he doesn't think that's a surprise. Howard said Regis is never on that show. Robin said she never saw that as bad blood. Howard said you never know what's going on behind the scenes. Howard said he'd like to see Regis on that show so the two of them can duke it out.
Howard cleared his throat so he said he had a dueling phlegm thing with Gary and George Takei. Howard played that for Robin.
Robin read a story about how the FCC has fined a TV station for airing a 3 second clip of a male body part. Howard said he thinks it was a hand job. He said they were doing a story about a porn star and the guy was getting a hand job in the clip they showed. Howard said he always wondered why the FCC didn't go after news stations for stuff when they were coming after them. Howard said that stuff is all on tape so he's not sure how they make that mistake. Gary said he read the story and he thinks the engineer may have played some porn he was watching on the side. Howard said that's not how he heard it.
Howard said he played a clip the other day with a black guy saying stuff they didn't understand. Howard said the clip was from WorldStarHipHop.com. Howard played some of the clip and said they went out on the street and asked some people to translate. Howard played the clip of Shuli asking people to translate. Someone was able to understand it and the guy claims he was saying something about his campaign. Another guy said he was talking about his street life and being a hustler. Robin said they're still trying to figure it out.
Robin read a story about a guy who got high on bath salts in Florida. Robin said she doesn't think they're actual bath salts. Howard said he thinks they are. Robin said this guy started head butting a windshield. Robin said a fire chief drove by and saw that going on. Howard said Benjy looked it up and they are not real bath salts. Benjy said he's been doing it all wrong. Robin read more about the guy and what he was doing bashing his head after using the bath salts.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he should stay at the Beverly Hills Hotel. He said the people that work there are being affected by this whole thing but not the owners. Howard said that he's not for Sharia Law though. The caller said he can't stop buying gas if he's against those countries. Howard said he knows. He said it's just not cool. The caller said Howard could be a trend setter. Howard said he can't be fighting a war for anyone. He said he has to do AGT. Howard said it will be nice and empty there though. He said that he's sure he'd get some good sleep. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked if he gets nervous before the show and has to jerk off to relieve that tension. Howard said he has never done that. Howard said he will never hear about him doing that. Speech said he gets nervous before going on stage. Howard said he should be nervous. Speech said he has jerked off in the Comedy Store bathroom before. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go after that.
Benjy asked Howard if he was super hungry and super horny would he eat or jerk off first. Howard said eat. Benjy said that's what he does too. Howard asked if he's still broken up with Elisa. Benjy said they are.
Robin read a story about the Boston bomber, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, and people in Boston don't want to put him to death. Howard said that's what's wrong with this country. Howard said they should have shot him right then and there. Howard said girls end up feeling bad for him and they won't kill this kid. Howard said he killed people. Howard said that he should get the death penalty. Robin said most Boston residents oppose the death penalty for him. Howard played a clip of Sal and Richard asking women on the street if they would rather fuck Howard or the Boston bomber. A lot of women picked the bomber. Howard said fuck you to the women who picked the bomber. Howard said now you know why he's angry. Robin said she's not sure how this trial is still going on. Robin said he doesn't just have a public defender. Robin said some law firm has taken it on and they are mounting a defense. Robin said they do this pro-bono because of the publicity.
Robin read a story John Hamm just finishing rehab for alcoholism. Robin said that his publicist has released that information. Fred played some George Takei audio clips where he's talking his penis being an enormous hunk of meat.
Robin read a story about Taco Bell releasing a new breakfast meal called the Chicken Taco Biscuit. Robin said the taco is shaped like a biscuit. Howard said that must be so good. He said he doesn't eat that shit but it sounds good. Robin said it will roll out on Thursday. Robin said it's 370-470 calories. Howard said that's a lot for breakfast. Robin said you can't have anything else but that taco if you're trying to watch your weight. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Angelina Jolie opening up the conversation about Ovarian Cancer. Robin said she's recovering from the removal of her ovaries. Robin said Angelina says she made the right decision. Robin said some doctors say this was right for her but not for everyone. Robin had some audio of a doctor talking about that. Howard said she's really turned her image around. Robin had another clip of a doctor talking about the risks of removing the ovaries.
Robin read a story about Celine Dion returning to the stage after taking a year off to deal with her husband's cancer battle. Robin had some audio of her talking about that. Howard said he admires her for doing that. He said Robin didn't even take a year off for herself. Robin said Celine's husband can only eat through a feeding tube and she's feeding him 3 times a day. Howard said he hopes Beth never has to do that for him. Howard said he feels bad for the guy. Howard said he hopes Beth never has to wipe him. He said he'd hire a nurse to do that. He said he would feel bad for her though. He said he'd probably have Gary do it. Robin said she's not sure he'd do such a great job. Gary said he'd do it but he wouldn't enjoy it. Howard said aging is not for wimps. Howard asked Gary to not clear his throat every 3 seconds while he's wiping him. He said he doesn't want to be grossed out.
Robin read a story about how we may be going back into Afghanistan. Robin had some audio of President Obama talking about how we're helping out over there. That led to Howard telling his imaginary Vietnam war stories for a few minutes.
Robin read a story about a German airliner that crashed yesterday. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard said he had it explained to him that these planes are very automated now. Howard said they're almost like autopilot all the time. Howard said the pilots aren't getting a lot of landing experience and maybe they had to take the plane under their own control. Robin said this is the artificial intelligence argument again. Robin said the pilot needs to know how to land the plane. Robin said the plane was torn apart but they have found the black box. Robin said they want to hear the voice recordings to hear what the pilots were saying to each other. Howard said it's just horrible. Robin said this is all a part of life. Robin said maybe that's not the worst way to go. Howard said it is. He said you're conscious when it happens. Howard said he wants to die in his sleep at an old age. Gary said they say that the plane started to descend for 8 minutes. Gary said that has to be the worst. Howard said of course. He said being burned in an ISIS cage is bad too. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a talk show host who made a racist remark about Michelle Obama. Robin said this guy is on Univision. Robin said the guy claims that he was knocking the photo of himself and not the first lady. Howard said it doesn't sound good for him. Robin said he compared the photo to an ape in Planet of the Apes. Robin said he claims he was fired for trying to unionize people at the station. Howard said if he wanted to compare himself to someone he should do that with Baba Booey.
Robin said that parents stop reading to their kids around what age? Howard said he was still reading to them at 6-8. Howard said by 13 for sure. Robin said normally people stop around 6. They say that's not the best thing to do though. Robin had some audio of a woman talking about how kids even after 6 like being read to. She said even kids in their teens like it. Howard said that might be a bit excessive.
Robin read a story about Ford launching a technology that will slow your car down to the speed limit. Robin said she doesn't like this. Robin said Ford of Europe has launched this. Howard said they're going to save lives with that. Howard said people drive too fast. He said people are out of their minds.
Robin read that Iggy Azalea has announced she had work done on her breasts. Robin said she had the work done about 4 months ago. Robin said she got sick of padding her stage outfits. Howard said that it's better if you don't tell. Robin said they used to guess at it but they don't catch it anymore.
Robin read that Patrick Schwarzenegger and Miley Cyrus did appear somewhere. She said they were at the South By Southwest festival. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they think that Robin is waiting to settle down until after the show is over. Jon said he doesn't think so. He said he thinks maybe she will settle down with someone when the show ends. Jon said she is doing okay though.
Jon took another call from a guy who said they were talking about Van Halen and he wonders if Howard will make a call to David Lee Roth. Jon said he doesn't think he will. He said Howard isn't even sure why David is mad at him if he is mad at him. Jon said maybe management will talk to David and get him to change his mind. Jon asked the caller what he thought when Howard talked about it. The caller said he thinks Howard is kind of upset that they're doing the other shows like Ellen before doing Howard's show. Jon said you never know what will happen. Jon said he'd love to hear some Van Halen in there. The caller said he would too. They went to break after that.
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Jon said they're going to start off today's trivia with a question about this week's show and then they'll have a question about a drop that Fred uses during the show. Jon gave some examples and said they can be tricky. Jon said that the third round will be a hard trivia question.
Jon took a call from a guy named Alex who was his first contestant. Jon asked how long he's been listening. Alex said at least 10 years. Jon asked who his favorite Wack Packer is. Alex said probably Beetlejuice. Jon said that he has to answer quickly. He asked Alex in what city did George Takei contract his cold. Alex got it right with Minneapolis. Jon played a drop for Alex and asked who said it. Bill O'Reilly was the answer. Alex said he forgot who it was. Jon thanked him for playing.
Jon took a call from a woman named Lois. She said she's been listening to the show for about 30 years. She said she used to intern on the show too. Jon asked who her favorite Wack Packer is. She said Eric the Midget. Jon asked her a question from this week asking what high Pitch Eric says he does 10-12 hours a day. Lois missed it with eating. Jon said that he does something else for that long. Jon let Lois go after that.
Jon took a call from a woman named Robin. She's been listening about 17 years. Jon asked her who her favorite and least favorite of the staff are. She said she loves everyone on the show. She said maybe Benjy is her least favorite. Jon asked Robin what show gave Rude Jude his start in show business. She knew it was Jenny Jones. Jon played her a drop and asked her to identify it. Jon played her a drip of Iron Sheik saying ''Fuck You!'' Jon asked if she knew. Robin said she doesn't know. She said that it was somebody angry. Jon had to let her go.
Gary walked in and said he got that drop. Jon said he should know them. Jon took a call from Jay next. Jon asked Jay who his favorite Wack Packer is. Jay picked Beetlejuice. He did wonder if he puts any of that on for the show. Gary said not at all. Jon asked Jay the first question which was which celebrity did High Pitch Eric reveal that he's obsessed with Donnie Wahlberg was the right answer and Jay got it. Jon played a drop for Jay and it was a tough one. Jay didn't get it and Gary didn't either. Gary said he can't remember her name.
Jon took a call from Andrew who asked how specific he would have had to have been with that one. Jon said if he gave the first or last name he would have given it to him. Jon asked Andrew which animal Richard Christy said his father would never eat. Andrew said a dog. Jon said he's wrong. He said that's not the right answer.
Jon took a call from Hank next. Jon asked him to name one of the two songs Imagine Dragons performed. Hank didn't know either one. Jon said they're one word songs. Hank didn't get it.
Jon moved on to Danny next. Jon asked Danny what part of Eric was bleeding when he came in. The caller said his gums. Jon said he's right. He moved on to the drop and played a clip of Gilbert Gottfried singing. Danny got that one right too. Jon said he has made it to round 3. Jon asked Danny to spell Gary's last name correctly. Danny spelled it ''Dellabate''. Jon asked if that is correct. Gary said it's not. He forgot one small detail.
Jon took a call from Corey next. Jon said he's running out of questions. He asked Corey what event Hanzi asks to see constantly. Corey said WWE Smackdown. He was wrong. It's Wrestlemania.
Jon took a call from Mike next. Jon asked Mike which war Richard's dad is a veteran from. Mike got it with Vietnam war. Jon played him a drop and asked him to identify who said it. It was Ben Stern. Mike got that one and moved on to the final round. Jon asked how you spell Gary's last name. The caller spelled it ''Dell'abate''. Gary said he's not entirely correct. Jon said he'll let him do it again. This time he got it with the capitalization of the A in 'Abate.'' Jon said Mike has won 3 prizes. He won a signed picture of Gary, a picture of Jon Hein and a signed picture from JD Harmeyer. Mike said that's excellent. Jon put him on hold and said he's their winner today.
Gary asked Jon a trivia question. He asked how he got the apostrophe in his name. Jon said it was a smudge. Gary said no. Gary said Howard says that his grandfather got to Ellis island and sneezed which put it on the paper. They went to break after that.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said he was wondering about Gary clearing his throat. He said maybe he has Tourettes. Gary said he does it a lot but he feels something in his throat. He said he thinks Tourettes is involuntary. He said that he doesn't know if it does it outside of work. Gary said maybe he does but he doesn't give it any thought. Gary said he went to see an ear, nose and throat doctor and they told him there is nothing wrong with him. He said he told Robin and Howard that the next day and they were both telling him not to take anything. Gary said maybe he'll go back and get the medication or the operation.
Jon said Hanzi is asking for tickets again. He said he thinks they convinced him to say thank you to the show. Gary said he's not sure where he got the idea that they'd fly him to an event. Gary said they may have done that in the past for some kind of promotion but they don't pay for that themselves. Jon said Mariann was very angry today. He said that Hanzi went right at her. Then Bobo called in to defend Mariann.
Gary said he doesn't understand Hanzi. He said all he had to do was ask him to get his radio turned back on and he would have done it. He said he gets angry and yells at him.
Jon asked if the Wack Packers have that attitude. Gary said their asking is bottomless. He said they do that all the time. Gary said some people don't know how to turn it off. Gary said one of their guests asks if they have gift cards for any restaurants. Gary said he used to but that person kept asking for them and said they needed them.
Jon said that Ben Stiller always delivers on the show. Gary said that Ben does seem to like talking to Howard. He said he thinks that Ben is a better guest is that his wife listens to the show. Gary said that he gave Ben a card for the hotline and told him to have Christine call in whenever she wants.
Jon asked if he loved hearing Ben playing drums as a teen. Gary said that he loved that. He said that he got a kick out of it. He said Ben wasn't embarrassed by it but it's like he can't believe something he did 35 years ago is popping up.
Jon said that Howard is going to L.A. and it doesn't sound like it's going to be a happy trip. Gary said he's not sure if Beth is going but she always softens that blow. Gary said Howard is working late hours out there. Jon said he's going to work. He's leaving this work to do that work.
Jon said they have the results of the poll. Rahsaan came in with the results and said that 76 percent of the people agree with Howard's boycott. Gary said he gets that. He said there are employees there who are getting screwed by the boycott too though.
Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:50am.
Jon said the interesting thing is that they used to start the show at 3 in the morning West Coast time so some people would get up then to listen.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's replays. Jon said today's poll is about what nationality you think Gary Dell'Abate looks like. Jon said there has been some difficulty with that for a long time. Gary said he moved to 105th and Amsterdam when he was younger and a guy would start talking to him in Spanish immediately. He didn't speak Spanish. Gary said he used to date a girl and some guys would yell at him to leave their street and called him a ''dirty Spic.'' Gary said there was another time that he got in an accident and the guy said that all of you ''greasy mother fuckers'' are all the same. He said he never did figure out which group he was talking about.
Jon asked Sarah if she's confused by Gary's nationality too. She said she is. Jon said Gary was at the Today show once had one of the reporters asked if he was one of the Chilean miners who was stuck in the mine. Gary said they were dressed similarly but he is full Italian. Jon said it should be interesting to see how the poll turns out.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she wanted to hear the Danny Trejo interview again. She said that is one of the best she's ever heard. Jon said they'll throw that over to the Sternthology folks. The caller said that she never realized just how kinky George Takei is. Jon said they've known it for quite a while now. Gary said George is the best. He said Howard was asking him about the glory hole and he said he couldn't talk about it. Then 20 minutes later he had two cocks in his hand. Sarah said that she loved that he drew the line at glory holes.
Gary said he told George that the penis contest was coming up and he told him not to touch anyone unless they say it's okay. He said George asked ''Where is this coming from?'' Jon said that George did want to touch them all. Jon went to break after that.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said he wants to comment on Howard talking about Van Halen getting back together. He said he thinks that's the same thing as Howard bringing Jackie Martling back. Gary said he doesn't think so. Gary said if they did the greatest hits of Howard Stern Jackie would be in there but not dominate it. Gary said he thinks Howard has had a lot of great periods with and without Jackie. He said David Lee Roth is known as the best of Van Halen. Gary said there aren't a lot of people who are willing to see Van Halen without David Lee Roth.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if George Takei was supposed to be in the rest of the week or just the one day. Gary said it was just one day. He said he's glad that he wasn't scheduled to be there the three days. He said Howard had the look of horror when he saw George coughing. He said he knows he was bumming out about that. Jon said that's the last thing Howard wants happening in there. He said Howard just can't get sick. Gary said Robin is a medical expert until Howard disagrees with her. He said maybe Howard should switch with Robin some day and go behind the glass.
Sarah asked Gary how stressful it is for him. Gary said there's a great story from back at NBC. He said Al Rosenberg's wife had a cold and Howard had it 2 weeks laster and Howard blamed her for the cold for 5 years after that. Sarah said she felt so bad for George with Howard being so miserable with that cough.
Gary said that Ben Stiller was on yesterday and he was so bummed that he missed George. He said Ben wants to come back and just hang next time George is in. He said people love George in ways that they don't love anyone else.
Gary said George is so unfiltered and gullible. Gary said he wanted to get the real Arnold Schwarzenegger to call in and have George saying that they can't fool him. Sarah said he seems to have this good relationship with Brad. Gary said he does wonder if George had a conversation with Brad about the contest. Sarah said she'd like to know what the ground rules are. Jon said many times during the contest Howard was reminding George about how great Brad is. He said George only had his eyes on one or three things in there.
Gary asked if boob squeezing is the same thing as a gay may touching a penis. Sarah said that a dick is a little more and maybe a step further.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves Sour Shoes and he's the highlight when he calls in. He asked if they'll ever bring him back in for some live shows. Gary said maybe for his own show. The caller was hoping to have him in the studio. Gary said it would be very difficult to have him in the studio live with someone there to interview. Jon said Sour is always on and he goes non-stop. He said it can be distracting after a while. Sarah said she always assumed that his calls were the real guy. Gary said he thinks he would hang with them if they asked him to. He said he is all over the place though.
Jon said Al just asked how long you can stick with Sour. He said maybe it only lasts 15 minutes. Gary said that there are people who want to hear all four hours with some of these guys. Gary said he had Sour Shoes beating Hanzi in his brackets. He said he had Big Foot beating him though.
Jon asked Sarah what she thought of the Brackets thing. Sarah said she is fascinated by Big Foot. She said that there is just something about him that's so Wack Pack. She said she loved that Little Lupe phony phone call they did years ago. She said it's fascinating to her. She said he is just a winner to her. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon said they were talked in by Imagine Dragons. Jon said they got to know them pretty well on the show this week. Gary said he thinks it was a big interview for them too. Gary said he's not sure where else they could have done an interview like that. Jon said they are big fans of Howard too. Sarah said she's always liked their music. She said she used to think about getting fingered to the music but not now that she's heard the interview.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked them to explain to him the big deal about ethnicity. He said he remembers seeing Gary and thinking he was from the Mediterranean area. Gary said he is. The caller said he grew up in Indianapolis and he can't tell you where the Synagogues were. He said he only knew black or white growing up. He asked what it is about that. Sarah said it was the same for her in Arkansas. She said she never knew anything about anyone being Jewish. She said all they saw was black and white. She said there was no awareness of any of that. She said she wonders why we care now. Gary said Jon went to Michigan and he met some people who were meeting a Jewish person for the first time. Jon said he was in a card game and one person asked him where his horns were because they had never seen a Jew before. Jon said he thinks they get some of that from Richard and his family. Jon said it seems like the ethnicities have been taken to an extreme. Gary said it's not that there's an obsession there in New York but you are expected to know about them because they are a part of your life.
Sarah said that she told her dad that she was dating a Jewish guy and he asked if he paid to go out because they're known to be cheap.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he feels bad for Gary because he's been in the same situation. He said he's Italian American as well. He said he thinks it might be the moustache that throws people off. He said he's had that with his. The caller also said when he hears High Pitch Eric on the show he is sickened. He said he has seen cases like him before and it's funny to hear but he just doesn't want any help. Jon said Howard has told Eric that he's going to die soon and Eric gives a look that makes it seem like it's in one ear and out the other. Gary said Eric has worked in his life but he doesn't have a crazy work ethic. He said he doesn't want to do anything hard. Gary said if he wants to lose weight he'd do it but it's too hard for him to do that. Sarah said that he was talking about the Fettuccine and asking for another Coke to drink with it.
The caller said that people must get on Jon about his eating too. Jon said it's all the time. The caller said at least Jon understands it. He said he doesn't think Eric does. He said some people will listen and some won't. Jon said it might make him even dumber than Eric because he knows better and won't listen. He said Eric has had these issues with his health and he keeps ignoring it. Gary said they're also getting into a weird area because these guys are getting older. He said if Howard signs another 5 year deal they're going to lose more Wack Packers.
Jon wondered if he would listen to Donnie Wahlberg. Gary said they will know very soon if they get that lined up. Jon said he thinks Donnie could get Eric to do just about anything. Gary said he thinks that he'd take of his pants and underwear if Donnie asked him to. Gary said that there's nothing gay about taking your pants off.
Jon had Rahsaan in with the poll results. Here's how they came out:
Gary was surprised that the votes didn't go more for Mexican. They spent a minute on that and then Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology. He wrapped up the show and ended it around 11:55am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's replays. Jon said Nick was cracking up hearing Ronnie in that clip. Nick said he's scared by Ronnie. He said he can't believe he's security. Nick said he was thinking about his sex tips this week. He said he's not sure how he'd react if someone his age talked like that to him. He said Ronnie does seem sincere about that stuff though. Nick asked if Jon has ever been fingered by Ronnie. Jon said he has not but Ronnie is about meeting girls and about meeting guys. Nick said that he's thinking about an Embedded with Ronnie. Gary said that's a great idea. Jon said the worry is that you get Ronald instead of Ronnie.
Jon also said they have a poll up today. He has Rahsaan announce what that was. They're asking ''What Was Your Favorite Wack Pack Moment This Week?'' There were a few choices including:
Nick said he loves conflict on the show. He said especially between the staff. Jon said Hanzi wants the same opportunities that Eric had. Gary said he used to get things for Eric but Eric would get himself there. He said that it's much different than flying Hanzi to San Francisco or wherever Wrestlemania is. Gar said that Hanzi fight was like they all went to a bar and a fight broke out and they all didn't know why. Gary said it came out of nowhere. Nick said he'd like to see Hanzi in Customs. Gary said they would too but they're afraid of what might happen.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he can't handle Hanzi. He said someone told him that he tried calling into another show. He said Howard does so much for these people and they're ungrateful. He said he's not sure why they put them on so much. Jon said if Hanzi was grateful then it would lessen the appeal. Jon said that's what Eric was like. Nick said there's nothing better than a guy who falls asleep on the phone calling into a radio show while he's living in his basement telling you what's wrong with your life. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon said he wants to talk about when George Takei visits the studio. He said he is beloved by everyone in their universe. Nick said he liked how sick he was and how Howard wanted him to turn away. Then George stopped coughing when he had the black penises in front of him. Jon said he did have some pep in his step while that was going on. Gary said when George coughs or sneezes it's a very dramatic cough. Nick said that's ''theater cough.'' Gary said that's it.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks Howard will go to see George's play. Gary said he thinks Howard will feel guilty at some point and he will go see it. Jon said he'd like to hear Howard's thought process while that show is going on. Nick said they should load up the whole front row full of black penises.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks it's terrific when Howard talks about what a great guy Gary is. He said High Pitch Eric might be on his way to being the best Wack Packer ever. He said he is fascinating but also bizarre. Gary said he is one of their longest running Wack Packers. He said they come and go sometimes. He said that he'd take Crackhead Bob any day but he doesn't want to do the show. He said Fred the Elephant Boy has been the longest running Wack Packer but Eric is up there. Jon said this latest Donnie Wahlberg crush thing is very odd. Gary said they were talking about some of Eric's greatest hits. He said Eric called another radio station and left a bomb threat. He said you can't not know who it is leaving the message. He said that reminds him of Fred the Elephant Boy leaving a sex phone line message and then denying it.
Nick said Eric will do anything they suggest. He said Eric the Actor would resist. He said that's why he stands by Eric the Actor being the best Wack Packer.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how close they think George is to cheating on Brad. Jon said he doesn't cheat but he comes close to the line. He said that's why Howard pulls him back sometimes. He said he is mesmerized by a penis and he doesn't think that he's ever cheated. Gary said it seems to rejuvenate George. He said he must think he's 20 again when there's a penis in front of him.
Jon said the play would be great if he acted out some of that stuff in his play. Nick said he would love to audition with no intention of doing it at all. He said he would love to see the play in real life.
Jon asked Gary if he's going to do anything about his throat clearing. Gary said he doesn't think there will be anything different if he goes back to the doctor. Jon asked if it's curable. Gary said he doesn't know what it is and he's not sure what he'll do. Gary said he's sick of talking about it actually. Nick said he thinks it's funny. He said he thinks it's even funnier that Gary gets nervous when Howard enters the hallway and he concentrates on not clearing his throat. Gary said there was a period of time when Howard would bring it up every day. He said he'd get to a certain point on his way in to start thinking about getting to work and he'd start clearing his throat in the car.
Jon said he remembers talking to Gary in the car and hearing him clearing his throat. Jon asked if Howard really did try not to bring it up for a year. Gary said he may have tried but he did bring it up. They went to break a short time later.
Gary asked if they had writers on ''Happy Endings'' that were Howard Stern fans because there was a Baba Booey reference. Nick said that was a very Howard Stern friendly set. He said he saw Adam Pally listening to Howard in his car because he had kids at home. He said the industry loves Howard and the guys. He said Howard recently told the Vietnam stories and he is laughing by himself when he hears that stuff. He said Howard was talking about killing dolphins and he sounded so happy. He said there seems to be a Fred renaissance going on too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sour Shoes threw in some Baba Booey references in during that Mike Francesca call. Gary said he threw a bunch in there. The caller also said he thinks that Eric the Actor is the best Wack Packer. Jon said he thinks that Beetlejuice is the one. Nick said that they had 2 days of shows after Eric died and they had some of the best two days of radio with those.
Jon took a call from a woman who said what bothered her about Rude Jude was that no one in Michigan really talks like that. Gary said Eminem does. The caller said she doesn't think it's as extreme as Jude. She said even Howard grew up in a black neighborhood and he doesn't talk like that. She thinks that Jude has created a character and he's perpetuating it. She said it's a little bit annoying but he was funny and a good interview. Howard said he grew up in Pontiac so maybe that's where he got it from. Gary said she made a good point. He said he'd like to hear the other people in his class to see if they sound like that. Nick said it would be great if they did.
Jon said that Jude has done some crazy stuff. Nick said he was surprised that he picked the threesome with two dudes.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they ever think of a Fred drop in their head and then Fred plays it. Gary said it happens all the time. Nick said he likes the Arnold drop where he talks to Robin. He said he thinks that Arnold should do the show once a month. Gary said they're working on it. Jon said you should listen to Robin's news and just listen for the Fred drops. He said that you'll be amazed. Nick said that he has a friend who wakes up her husband with the Richard Simmons ''Gary, where are you'' every morning. Gary said he had it as a ringtone for like a minute but he had to take it off. He said it was too annoying.
Nick said he was in a flower store one day and Richard Simmons was there. He said Richard Simmons actually paid for his mother's flowers. Gary said if he heard he was buying flowers for his mom he's sure he would pick them up for him.
Jon went to Rahsaan who had the results of today's poll. Here's what they had:
Jon wrapped up and gave Nick some plugs. Gary said they have to get Nick on one of the Celebrity Superfan shows. He said he really knows his stuff. Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and ended the show around 12:00pm.