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Howard started the show talking about how he stayed up and watched the Super Bowl for the fans who might want to talk about it. Howard said it was a great game. Robin agreed. Howard said that he never watches football. He said he knows when he's watching who he can get behind. He said he was rooting for New England. Robin said she was too. She said she has no feelings until the game was on. She said she got upset when things didn't go their way. Howard said he was too. He said he wanted them to win. He said he thought it was an amazing game because when they were down 10 points he thought it was over. Robin said it did look like the door was closing on them. Howard said he had nothing to compare it to. He said that Brady has to be the best or the top 2 or 3. He said he kind of went out there and moved ahead after being down 10 points with not too much time left. Robin said you rarely hear the commentators say something and then the guy does it. She said they were talking about how great Brady is in the last few minutes. They were right. Robin said that the other team came back and scored too though. Howard said it was crazy at the end of the game when the guy made that catch. He said it was a great game.
Howard said he started making some notes about the commercials but he's not sure how much of that they want to get into. Robin said the overall impression was that they sucked. Howard said he's not sure what people expect. He said we all hate commercials. Howard said no one really wants to watch them. Howard said the Super Bowl has become so commercial that they rarely don't have any. He said that it's more commercial than game. Robin said he's right. Robin said you feel like they holdup the action to have more commercials.
Howard said the Kardashian commercial is among the worst. He said you just hate her. Howard said he doesn't know what she's talking about and he doesn't care about her. Robin said it was very hard to watch. Howard said Bruce Jenner is looking hotter than her at this point.
Robin said there was a lot of sentimentality in the commercials. Some of them made you just feel terrible. Howard said the one they're talking about is the dead kid commercial. He said everyone bummed out after that. Howard said that was the feel good commercial for him. He said he's not a human being. He said that it didn't affected him that much. Howard said he read the papers today and everyone who reviewed them said it was such a downer. He said he was sad for a second but then he was on to the next commercial. Robin said there was a tone there with the commercials tugging at the heartstrings. Howard said the one with the horse and the dog was the one that got to him and Beth. He said he cared more about the dog than he did about the kid. Robin said most people do. Robin said humans have a bad reputation. Howard said that's right. Howard said most kids grow up to be monsters anyway.
Howard said Gary told him he was at a party and that one commercial was a real buzz kill. Robin said they also had that NFL commercial to make up for the domestic violence thing. Howard didn't see that one. Robin said it was a woman who called 911 and ordered pizza and she wasn't able to say she was in a bad situation. Howard said he did see that one. Howard said he saw the one with the girls who were told to run like a girl and things like that. He said he really doesn't like to be lectured during a game though.
Howard said he liked the one where the guy got knocked off his bicycle with the dodge ball. Howard said he was also consumed with the guy who was named Edelman. Howard said he figured he was Jewish. Howard said it turns out his father is Jewish and his mother was not. Howard said he is a good football player. Howard said that is a Jewish name though.
Howard said that he liked the commercial for Ted 2. He said that looked like it was funny. He said the line about Ted being thrown as a perfect spiral got him.
Howard told Sal to just announce that he went to high school. He said it's such an odd thing to say what college you went to. Robin said that's where they got noticed though. Howard said that they should have to come in and say if they have priors or no priors.
Howard had Scott Salem come in to announce his college. Scott came in and said that he went to Queensboro Community and some RCA thing. He said that is a technical college. Howard said he doesn't announce where he went to get his radio license. Scott said he didn't finish Queensboro. Robin said this is a wonderful weaved tale. Howard asked if he graduated either one. Scott said yes. He paused though. Scott said he was hearing something weird in his headphones. Howard said that Scott didn't graduate Queensboro. Scott said he was bored with it and then at 19 he figured he wanted to be a recording engineer. He said there were no schools for it so he went to the RCA Institutes. He said now it's called TCI institutes. Howard said that sounds weird. Howard said way to go. Howard said the NFL is on to something. He said having them come in to talk about this stuff is fascinating.
Howard found out that Scott doesn't have a degree in anything from RCA. Gary said that's not even a college. Howard said you can't list it unless you graduated. Scott said whatever it was got him to do what he needed to do. He said that he doesn't even remember it all. He said that it's called TCI now. He said they can look that up. Howard said that they know that already.
Howard had Gary announce where he went. Gary went to Adelphi University. He has a degree so he actually did graduate. Scott said his school was tough. He said there was a lot of computer math stuff going on and it was difficult.
Howard had Ronnie come in to announce where he went. Ronnie came in and mentioned Francis Lewis High School. He didn't go to college. Howard said he figured he was going to mention his grade school. Howard said that would have been good. He said it would be funny if he mentioned his 6th grade class. Ronnie said he could have mentioned his third grade class. Howard said he likes this whole thing. He said they have to find someone who didn't graduate high school. He said if you drop out of college then you can join the Howard Stern Show.
Howard had Richard come in and announce where he graduated. Richard mentioned his high school. Howard said he knows JD went to Full Sail. He said he could have him come in and mention that. Howard said this show has an abysmal education record. Howard said on Letterman they have Harvard graduates and things like that. He said they can't even make fun of the football players. He said they're more highly educated than his staff.
Howard asked Richard if he got hammered watching the game. Richard said he had a bunch of beer. Robin asked if he saw the commercials that were aimed at Richard. Richard laughed. Howard said he has to stop with the pumpkin beer and get down to it with Budweiser. Richard said he had an 8 percent IPA. He said that he had that and a bunch of others. Howard asked how many total he had. Richard said maybe 15 or 20. Richard said that was pre-game. He said he was at home watching CBS Sunday Morning and had a coffee beer. Richard said he ran 7 miles too. Robin asked why that makes a difference. Richard said he's trying to stay healthy. He said there is a big culture of running and drinking. Howard said it's not all day and night though. Richard said that was just Sunday.
Howard asked Richard if he had more in the morning. Richard said they went to brunch and he had some mimosas. Richard said that he doesn't even know what he had total. He said it might be up to 40 or so. Howard asked if that's out of the question. Richard said that could be it. He had about 7 Mimosas. Richard said it probably is up around there. Richard said now you know why he didn't go to college. Howard said he would have been a mess in college.
Howard said Richard is drinking really heavy. Richard said it was Super Bowl Sunday. Robin said it's like he needs an excuse. Howard said he must be scared that this is his answer. Richard said now that he mentions it, it is. Howard asked if he would be miserable giving up drinking. Richard said he would be. He said he tried that in 1993 and it was miserable. Howard asked Richard if there is something that went down that's causing the drinking. Richard said there could be. Howard asked if he's depressed or angry. Richard said that the one thing he might be upset with is drumming or something. He said that he could have done better. He said he knows guys who play Madison Square Garden. Howard said they're not as good as him. Richard said he's not even that bummed about that. Howard said he doesn't drink that much without being bummed about something. Howard asked if he was molested. Richard said not that he can remember. Howard said maybe it's just an illness or a medical condition. Richard said maybe that's it. Howard asked if his grandpa drank a lot. Richard said he didn't. He said he must be patient zero.
Richard said that the beer he had is called a Headdy Topper. He said you open it and smell that beer. Robin said he looks like a mess these days. Gary said he is getting that ruddy look now. Howard said he looks like Michael McKean now. Gary said McKean looks better actually.
Gary said they went to a memorial service over the weekend and Sal and Richard went to the bathroom together. Howard asked what's going on there. Richard said Sal just followed him in there. Howard asked if he's possibly gay and he can't face it. Richard said he doesn't think so. Howard asked if he has any gay feelings that he's suppressing. Richard said no. Robin asked if he has done any homosexual things in his younger years. Richard said he did some stuff. Howard said he jerked off his buddy. Richard said they pleasured themselves at the same time but didn't do it to each other. Howard said it's okay to say if he did. Richard said he never had feelings for him. Howard said that Richard is consumed with gay porn and the cocks in it. Richard said he does like to see guys cum. Howard said that's the worst part of porn for him. Richard said there is porn that's nothing but that. Howard said he thinks he might be gay. Richard said that he'd just come out if he was. Howard said there has to be something that's bothering him to keep him drinking. Richard said he doesn't think that's it. Howard said he looks like a ham with eyes at this point. Richard said that's the way God made him. Richard said he's getting old too. Howard said he's old, Richard is young. He said he's only 40. Howard said he's drinking so heavy. Richard said he is.
Howard said that he's not sure what the football game has to do with getting drunk. Richard said that's just part of the whole thing. Howard asked if he's upset that he's put on weight. Richard said he is. He said he's still running. He said the holidays weren't good for him. Howard said he thinks his body is freaking out. Richard said he thinks that he's going to get a liver test. He said he will slow down if he has to. He said if he has to quit he will. Howard said he thinks his body would shut down. Richard said he has done it for a few days and it's not shutting down. Howard said he bets he drank a lot during Katy Perry. Howard said a lot of people criticized her. He said that she rode around on a rocket and did her thing. Howard said he's not sure what people expected. Howard said he thought she might fall off that tiger she was on. Howard said she was fine.
Gary came in and announced where he went to college. He said he heard that the NFL had contacted Katy Perry and Coldplay and asked them to pay to perform. Howard said that will never happen. Howard said he liked that ad where the car got bigger when the Viagra went in the gas tank.
Howard said the Jets really blew it with losing Belechick. Gary said he only coached them for like an hour. He said he wrote his resignation on the back of a napkin. Howard said he was the assistant coach and then Parcells left and he was named the head coach. Howard said that they must have really blown it. Robin said there must be something really wrong with that organization. Howard said that he's great with the Patriots. Gary said he's a big fan of the show too. Howard said he knows. Gary said that's the one constant that he's had over the years of coaching.
Howard asked Gary if he thinks Richard has a problem with drinking. Gary said he thinks that he's going to start seeing health issues soon. He said that he's been doing it so long. Richard said that he's fine. Gary said if he keeps drinking every day he's going to have problems in 5-7 years. He said he's doing it on a daily basis. Richard said he's never done any hard drugs. Howard said he's got no time since he's busy drinking. Richard said he smoked weed in high school once and that was it. He said he felt guilty for doing that.
Howard had Sal come in to do the wiping thing. He took a call from Monotone Matt who asked if Howard ever scratched his ass when it itched. Howard said of course he did.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he has never folded his paper. They had the guy announce where he went to school too. He went to UNLV. Sal had no idea what that was. The caller said that he tried to be a school mascot there. He said that they pay really well. Gary said there is a camp to go to that makes you a better mascot. Howard asked what outfit he wore. The caller said he was The Rebel. He said he had a documentary made about him and everything. He said he went into it professionally for a while. He said now he works in radio. Howard asked if he can get laid being a mascot. The guy said that the sororities are fans so he was able to get laid. He said with one girl he wore the head. Howard said that's a weirdo. Sal said he must be ugly. The guy said that it depends on the day.
Howard said that he had no idea that you could get a scholarship being a mascot. Sal said he's getting some costumes for his kids. The caller said that he gets seizures. He said that he can't do the mascot thing anymore. Howard said that he chose the dumbest profession. Howard asked what happened there. The caller said that he was at a kid's party and he had a seizure. He said he was on his side and people thought he was dancing. He said they though it was part of the act.
Howard had Gary and Sal do their toilet paper thing. Gary said he had Reese's peanut butter chocolate spread to put in there. Sal said he wanted Gary to put it in his ass. Gary did his thing and Richard started gagging.
Howard asked if Sal wipes from front to back. Sal said he does. Sal folded his paper and went in for the wipe. Sal wiped and got the spread on the paper. Richard was dry heaving. Richard said he was going to puke. Howard said he thought Sal was worried about embarrassing his kid. Gary said that Sal has a huge shit stain on his leg already. Howard said he still has more to wipe. Sal wiped more and came up with some more fake shit on the folded paper. Howard said he has it on his fingers now. Sal said it's not on his fingers. He was still folding. Gary said it's so close. He said he has a way to do this. He said there's already some on his thumb. Sal insisted it wasn't. He said that he's wiping from the top down now. Sal wiped down with the paper and went for fold number 4. Gary said it's all over his fingers. Sal said it's not. Gary said it's not like you can see it but it is there.
Jason came in and said there is shit on his fingers. Sal asked where. Howard checked out his fingers and said there is a load of shit on there. Sal asked where. There was nothing according to Sal. Jason said he thought there was something there. Howard said he can't even make out a hand there. Jason was showing Howard a shot he took during the wiping. Richard asked if Howard stands when he wipes. Howard said he does. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he is obsessed with this Joey Boots podcast. He said that he could listen to this all day long. He said that he loves hearing Joey asking Eric about all of these things. Howard played a clip where Eric was talking about how Mayor DeBlasio should have to reimburse him for the food he bought for the snow storm last week. Joey went through the food with Eric and he had a ton of junk food. Joey said he has said ''Screw it'' to the diet. Eric said that he is going back to the gym on Tuesday. Joey said he hopes he does but he doesn't have much faith in him.
Howard said that's so great. He said he has tons of bags of chips and cookies and stuff. He said he's so fat. Howard said Eric has such a low IQ that he blames the mayor for the storm. Howard said he won't blame the weather guys. He said that he only blames the mayor.
Howard played another clip of Eric saying that there was a big line at the store and the mayor should have to reimburse people. Joey asked why he doesn't blame the weather people. Eric was blaming the mayor for the whole thing.
Howard picked up on Eric who said that the guy did overreact. Eric said that he overreacted and the storm never happened. Robin said he would have bought food anyway. Eric said he wouldn't. He said he has to buy a lot of food and he wasn't going to use it. Howard said he loves this and he's not sure why. He said everything you ask Eric is so screwed up. Howard said he went out and got food that he's going to eat anyway. Eric said he had to go out of his way to do it. Howard said maybe that's good for him. Eric said he knows that but he should still be reimbursed. Howard asked if he's eating everything. Eric said he is kind of. He said he had to spend 2 hours shopping. Howard asked what he would have done in those two hours. Eric said he had better things to do.
Howard asked if he watched the Super Bowl. Eric said he did. Howard asked if he liked Katy Perry. Eric said he didn't like her one outfit. He said the outfit didn't match. He said that she had a yellow microphone that matched the outfit in the first outfit. Robin said he's like the fashion police. Howard said that her shoes don't have to match. Eric said they do.
Howard asked Eric why he doesn't blame the weather people for the storm thing. Eric said that DeBlasio overreacted. Howard said he wouldn't have if the weather people got it right. Eric said he watches all of the news channels. He said DeBlasio overreacted. Howard asked if he blames the weather people. Eric said no. Howard said that he loves weather people. Eric said he hates the mayor so much.
Howard said Eric hates the mayor because he didn't get to work out. Eric said he could do a better job as mayor. Howard said he can't do any job. Eric said he has done jobs in the past.
Howard asked what he's doing today. Eric said he's having breakfast of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Howard asked if he will have a snack before lunch. Eric said maybe. Eric said he has whole wheat bread. He said he's having 2 sandwiches. Eric said that 2 will fill him up until lunch. Eric said he has lunch around 12:30 or so. He said he watches The Young and the Restless around lunch. Howard asked if he goes anywhere after that. Eric said he's staying home tody. He said he will listen to Howard on the radio. Howard said he has such a great life. Howard said he wants to be reimbursed for money that the tax payers gave him. Howard said this is the life he wants. Eric said Howard could do that.
Howard asked what he's having for lunch. Eric said he's having turkey and swiss on the whole wheat bread. Howard said you know he'll have a lot of chips and stuff too. Howard said if he just ate the peanut butter and jelly and the turkey sandwich he'd be fine. He said he's eating all of these snacks. Robin said that Eric is lying to them then. Eric said he's not. He said Joey ordered a pizza for the Super Bowl. He said that he was drinking too. He said they had a lot of fun. Robin asked if he ate pizza. Eric said of course he did. Howard said it starts all over again the next day. Howard said god bless America, really.
Eric said if Howard did his show from home it would be awesome. Howard said he'd still be working though. Howard said that Eric just listens to the show. Eric said that he does a show with Joey. He said he has pressure on him too. He said he goes to the doctor and then he has to rush home to do the Joey Boots thing.
Howard said he thinks he's had enough of Eric. He was going to let him go but Eric asked what he has planned for today. Howard said he has meetings and a doctor's appointment. He said he ash a couple of hours he takes to go through stuff for the show tomorrow. Howard said he has a checkup today with the dermatologist. Howard said he's fine as long as he doesn't have to show his penis. He said he has been to some that tug on your cock but he switched to another one after that. Eric said he has the worst cock ever. Howard said he's right about that. He let Eric go after that.
The caller said that one of the sharks was completely out of sync. Howard said he was. Howard said he loves the Eric Andre show because he makes fun of all of that fake enthusiasm. Howard said that Katy did what she was supposed to do. He said he's not sure what people want. He said they want effects and all of that. Howard said poor Lenny Kravitz came out like a prop. Robin said she was shocked that he did her song with her. Howard said he was wondering what happened with Katy when that other act, Missy Elliot, came out. Howard said he knows the name but the song was horrible.
Howard said that he enjoyed the Katy Perry thing. He said she did a show. The caller said that the shooting star thing reminded people of the NBC ''The More You Know'' commercials. Howard said he thought of it like there was something shooting out of her ass.
Howard let the caller go and took another call from a guy who said he knew Julian Edelman in his school. Howard and the caller goofed around with that for a minute.
Howard said the whole time he was watching the game he was consumed with that guy Edelman. Howard said that is a Jewish name. He said it's like Jewy Jewstine. Howard said that he claims he wasn't raised Jewish though. Howard said he's not sure that flies with him.
Howard said that he likes that band Royal Blood so much that he wished that they had played the Super Bowl. Howard said he went online and watched the video they have for their hit song and it wasn't good. He said it doesn't make any sense to him. He explained what the video was and said that it just didn't make sense. He said they're a great band though. He said that they're amazing because it's just two guys. He said the video blows though. He said don't waste your time with it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard that Letterman is going to have Leno on his show toward the end. He asked what's up with that. Howard said they'd have to ask Letterman about that. Howard said that kind of bugs him though. He said that Leno screwed Dave and Dave is having Leno on for the ratings now. Howard said he's not sure why he would do that. He said he should stick to his guns with that. Robin said he did the commercial with Leno too. Howard said that he didn't do the Tonight Show when they were on against each other. Howard said he's not sure what's up with that. Howard said that Jay will come on and do what he used to do telling jokes and things. Howard said they'll shake hands and everything will be fine. Howard said they'll have a great time together and he doesn't get it.
The caller said he heard a replay of Joan Rivers being on the show and they were talking about her getting cremated. Robin said she was cremated. Robin hasn't gotten any of the ashes. The caller asked if he would keep them. Howard said he'd give them to Robin. He said he doesn't want them. Robin said she has her cats and Vincent Price. Howard said he had to take a break after that. He let the caller go and talked to Robin about the ashes she got for her horse. Robin said she still has the whole box. Howard said that's insane. Robin said she thought that she'd just get a little bit of his ashes. She said they gave her all of them. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said he woke up to the bad weather this morning and it was 50 times worse than last week. He said that now it's icy and no one wants to overreact so they don't do anything. Howard said he said if he ever ran for office he would put a dome over New York. He said whenever it's shitty weather they'd just put the dome up. Howard said they did a survey out on the street and found out what people think of his dome idea. Howard played some of the responses and the people weren't thrilled with the idea. Howard said that the dome won't be closed all the time. He said it'll be open for rain but not snow. Howard said he's not the only one who likes this concept. Howard played a clip of a woman saying that she thinks it's a good idea. She said it might be good for terror attacks too. Howard said that it would be made of molten lead and steel so it's indestructible.
Howard said they have some audio of Robin in therapy. they had some clips of Robin talking about cancer and some audio of someone on the phone as her therapist.
Howard played a song parody about Robin too. Howard said that someone said they don't get any song parodies sung by women about Robin and that's all they're getting now. Howard said that was one of them. Howard said all women are singing about Robin now.
Howard said he's not sure what to say about the Super Bowl. Robin said that last play was something else. Robin said that Marshawn Lynch was supposed to be able to get that last play done. Robin said the play came from the coaching staff. Robin said that's who is being blamed for blowing it. Robin said it didn't work out for them.
Howard said he has some clips from the game. He had a clip of a player getting really worked up after the game. Howard played the clip of the player talking about how they were the best and telling the other guy to eat shit. Howard said this Marshawn Lynch doesn't want people bothering him but he's creating this whole thing. Howard said he thinks it's a brilliant plan on his part. He said he thinks that he's a super angry guy or sending. Howard said he put a message out to the media and he's all over the place. Howard played some audio of that. Lynch said they keep coming back and he's not sure what they're trying to get out of him. He said when he goes home at night he looks the people he loves in the face and that's all that matters to him. He said they shove cameras and microphones down his throat. Howard said this guy is in the NFL. If he doesn't like it then he should get out. Howard asked what he would be doing if there wasn't football. Robin said he'd have that attitude while stocking the shelves at Walmart. Howard said exactly.
Howard played more of Lynch going off on the media and not answering questions that they were asking him. He was just giving shout outs to his ''real Africans out there.'' Howard said that takes more creativity than just answering the questions.
Howard played a fake clip of Bill O'Reilly asking President Obama questions and Obama acting like Marshawn Lynch and just saying he is just there so he won't get fined.
Howard said the Super Bowl was broadcast in many languages. He said that they have it in a bunch. Robin said she saw Paul McCartney there and she did wonder if the game has gotten popular worldwide. Howard said a lot of people do care about it. Howard said that Americans really care. He said if you're really American then you don't give a shit about soccer. Howard played some examples of other countries covering the Super Bowl. Howard said he had it in Portuguese and Chinese. He played some quick clips in those languages. Howard said they had it in just about every language.
Howard played some of Katy Perry starting her act and saying ''Super Bowl are you ready to rock!?'' Robin said she hated that part. She said that she hates that she's treating the Super Bowl as an entity. Howard said he's shocked that people hate that so much. Howard said everyone wanted something to happen and that's what she did. Howard said Robin is being too critical of that. Robin said she hated it.
Robin asked Howard if he thinks she was really singing. Howard said he thinks that she was singing in the last song. He said they may have been switching back and forth.
Howard said that he has a clip of Al Michaels saying ''Crazy'' like Perez Hilton. He played that and it did sound like Kyle Dunnigan's Perez Hilton impression of him saying ''Carazeeee!''
Howard was looking for something and JD chimed in to tell him where it was at. JD had to say his college when he told Howard. JD said he has an associates degree from Full Sail. Howard said that's a 2 year college. JD said that he did community college for a month. Howard said he's such a loser.
Howard said it's so weird that they announce what college they went to. He said that no one is clear on their college education there. Howard said they found out more people didn't graduate. Robin said she's never heard of an associates degree from a college.
Howard asked JD about the college thing. JD said he thinks that it's like an ITT Tech thing but for video game production and things like that. Howard said he never thought this would lead to much. Gary said he looked into this. He said he thinks that Full Sail is a fully accredited college now but not when JD went. He said it used to be a trade school. He said that it wasn't a college. Howard asked if he has a diploma. JD said he does. Gary told him to bring it into work. JD said he has to find it. Howard said he wants to see it. Howard said he can't believe what they're finding out today. He said he's glad he made the guys do this. Robin said she's shocked at what they're finding out today.
Howard had Benjy announce where he went. Benjy said he went to Penn State and he has a degree. He went to Empire State University for Post Graduate work. Howard said he didn't get a degree though. Gary said he has to interpret that. He said Benjy pulled a fast one. He said he was out of college and he wanted to intern with them. He said he found some strange school in New Jersey and he did that to get there as an intern. Fred looked it up and said that it is a fake college that's online. Benjy said it's a real thing. Benjy said it's a New York State address. He said he did go to Penn State and he got a degree there.
Howard had Wolfie on the phone and he claimed that he knew how much Bryan Cranston got paid to do that commercial during the Super Bowl. Howard said he wants to know who wrote ''payed'' on the screen. Gary said it was Steve Brandano. Howard had him announce his school. He went to Amherst Steve said he should have been sharper with that ''payed'' thing. Howard had Steve do some spelling for him. Howard said it wasn't bad. Howard said that Bryan Cranston had to be paid over a million for that. Wolfie asked if he thinks he got paid more to do that than for Breaking Bad. Howard said maybe for the first season.
Wolfie mentioned his college which was Kutztown University. Howard asked what he does for a living. Wolfie said he works in the business world but that's as much as he wanted to say. Howard said he's keeping a big secret. Howard said he must work for the CIA. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said this woman Yoko Ono is amazing. He said that she's 85 years old and she's at some place like a museum. Howard said this guy gets up and starts playing Saxophone and she starts screaming. Howard played the clip of her playing along to the Saxophone. Howard said that's who John Lennon married. Robin said she just thought of the worst thing she could possibly say. She said that she shouldn't say it. Howard said Robin should have had John Lennon. Robin said that she wasn't out stalking The Beatles.
Howard asked what Robin would think if he started doing that with Gary's trumpet. Robin said people would think he was a lunatic. Howard played more of Yoko doing her screaming. Howard said people do stand there and listen to her.
Robin said they were talking about art one day and this is the reason there is a problem. Robin said they call this art. Howard said he hates both the Sax and Yoko. Robin said that Yoko does not know how to sing. Robin sad that she wasn't able to sing and decided to do this. She just can't sing. Howard said it's like dueling whackos. Howard said that's awesome.
Howard said he has some audio of Riley Martin introducing Eron during his show and he must have forgotten his name or something. Howard played the clip and Riley said that it was ''the one and only... the programmer... the... the programmer... what are you Eron?'' Howard said he thinks Eron lives there with Riley in his house. Howard said he has more of Riley coughing up some phlegm. Robin just said ''Oh god.'' Howard played that clip and Riley was talking and then coughing up his phlegm. Howard wondered what college he went to.
Howard said Riley was talking about how the aliens have pornography. Howard played a clip of that too. Riley said they have porn engravings going back 30,000 years. He said that it goes back to Rome and Greece. Howard asked how Robin likes that. Robin asked what he's called it. It was etchings or something. Robin asked why he's talking about that. Robin said that they are some advanced race so she wants to know what they're doing now. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks they're missing something with the college announcing thing. He said they should announce their degree. Howard said that he thinks he's got a Bachelor of Science. He said he knows it's crazy. Robin said she thought he had a BA. Howard said that he knows he was a Magna Cum Laude. Howard said his parents did come to that graduation. He said he didn't go to his high school. He said that no one paid for it so he didn't feel he had to go to that one.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he gave Howard a big Baba Booey on The Biggest Loser finale last week. Howard said that he heard about that. The caller said that he was actually on the show at one point and lost 136 pounds. Robin said that it sounds like a lot of people are complaining about the way they're treated on that show. She said some people are upset about the way they're humiliated on that show. Howard said they should be.
Howard played the clip of the caller, Dan, yelling out Baba Booey while there was a moment of silence. Howard asked if that chick was hot. Dan said she looked a lot better. He said she's 40 years old and a virgin. She was 240 pounds. Howard said you have to get good looking people to lose weight on that show. Howard said he can tell if someone is going to be hot. He said they need a good face and they'll be hot. Howard said there has to be a way to tell. He said there are guys who can tell.
Howard played a Biggest Loser clip where they had fake Perez Hilton threatening to fuck people in the ass if they don't lose weight. They had Benjy's fingering in there too. Howard said he heard that the real Perez is on a show in England and they want to throw him out because he's so annoying.
Howard asked Dan if he's kept the weight off. Dan said he has. Howard said those shows are fine. He said that he thinks that some people complain about it but if it works for people then it's a good thing. Howard said you don't have to stay on the show. He said if you don't like the way they treat you then don't stay on it. Howard said that's what he resents about some of these fat people. He said you give them help and then they whine about it. Howard said that you should grow the fuck up if you think you're not being treated right.
Howard played a clip of Deion Sanders saying ''On your march, get set, go!'' Howard said that doesn't even make sense. It's ''On your mark.''
Howard played a clip of a sports announcer making some weird noises during a basketball game. Howard said that doesn't make sense either. He said no one explains that to them.
Howard said that they just refurbished the elevators there. He said they have a voice in them now. He said the voice is very sexy sounding. Howard said he might be in love with her. Howard played a clip of the elevator voice saying ''Going down... Lobby... 36th floor.'' Howard said he thinks that Scott the Engineer must be in love because he was the one who picked up on it. Howard played a clip of Scott faking an orgasm after that.
Howard played a clip of Hanzi on a ''Road to the White House'' bit they created. They went to break after that.
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Howard read some email and someone asked if they heard that Robin mentioned she made a guy hard a work when she was a nurse. Robin said that she had to bathe someone who was unconscious and he got an erection. Robin said she didn't do anything about it. Robin said she didn't want it to progress. Howard said she's not like a dude. Howard said it would be hot if she just wanted to make him hard. Howard said it's like 50 Shades of Grey. Howard said he thinks that chick in 50 Shades is really hot.
Howard said the story about Bobbi Kristina was all over the news this weekend. Robin said that story is sad. She said it's eerie that she was found in the bathtub. Howard said it's near the anniversary of her mom's death. Howard said the doctors were saying that she was brain dead but then this morning he read it's not as serious as everyone said. Robin said you have to read between the lines. Robin said that people are saying she has some brain diminishment and others are saying it's not hopeless. Howard said in either case the family should not take baths. He said they should just stick to taking showers.
Gary said that People Magazine is saying that she was without air for minutes and that could mean it's devastating for her. Robin said that they say that her husband found her and he was doing CPR on her when the emergency crews showed up.
Howard said he has an article from People.com about Bruce Jenner. They say that he is transitioning to a woman. Howard said no shit. He said it's like when George Takei came out. Howard said they knew when he named his dog L'rain L'blanche.
Robin said they say Bruce is shooting a documentary. Howard said that if he decides to become a woman he's going to shoot a documentary too. Howard said he's the last guy you'd expect to do that. Robin said that it really is.
Howard said he saw pictures of Chaz Bono and it looks like he's bulked up a bit. He said that maybe Chaz and Bruce could get together and have a TV show. Howard said that everyone would watch that. He said that would get the best ratings ever.
Howard read some email. He had one about Robin's theme songs and how great they are. Howard said that there were people talking about the folding toilet paper technique. Howard said he has a bunch of email about that. Howard read what someone was saying about the folding technique. Howard said that he was never taught to wipe his ass. He bunches his up and just puts it in his ass once and then into the toilet. He said there is no chance of him getting shit on his fingers. Howard said Sal folded his paper and then folded it over with shit on it. Howard said that it's like he has shit glued together. He said then he wipes his ass again and it's like a shit sandwich. He said you put shit back up your ass. Howard said that if you fold it and throw it right in the toilet that's fine but if you keep wiping with folded up shit that's gross.
Howard read more of the email he got about this folding thing. Howard said he doesn't think that people understand what Sal is doing. He said he's squishing the shit together in the folded paper. He said if you're doing this then you should have your head examined. Howard said he just spilled some water. He had to clean that up. He said he should have put the lid back on.
Howard played some audio of Sal and Richard going out to ask people on the street if they fold or bunch up their toilet paper. There were a couple of people who said they fold. One guy said he washes his ass in the sink. Howard said that's what Ronnie does too. Howard said that's disgusting. Howard said maybe people are just folding and using it once. Howard said he understands folding and removing the remnants but not going back in. He said Sal is doing that 4 times. Howard said that is disgusting. Robin said Sal didn't clean his ass either.
Howard read more of the email he got about the balling up of paper and how he found out that most people he works with fold it too. Howard said that this is insanity. He said that he's doing what comes naturally. Robin said the folders are using paper that's not as big as it used to be. Robin said that you're trying to fold it into smaller and smaller bits. Howard said at least someone is making sense over there.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Beth was the originator of the Kitten Bowl. Howard said he doesn't even know the answer to that. Howard said he hasn't seen it yet. Robin said it was the cutest kittens ever. Howard said it was like 3 hours long. Robin said it was replayed too. The caller said he thinks that Howard said Beth started it. Howard said she might have but he's not sure. Howard said the last Kitten Bowl was last year. He said maybe she did start it. The caller said he's going to win some cash. Howard said he doesn't know that for sure though. He said he has so many cats. He said if you follow Beth on Instagram you can see what's going on in his house. Howard said all of the kittens are getting adopted though. He said that's why they're doing it. Howard said that Boomer Esiason was on with Beth. Robin said they had a bunch of people announcing with them.
Howard had some audio of Jesse Ventura talking about his lawsuit and why he went after Chris Kyle's estate. Gary said Jesse is going back again and he wants more money because the movie is doing so well. Howard said this is so complicated. Jesse claims that he can't go to a Seal reunion because the book made him look bad. He said he just wanted to clear his name. He said that it was him versus an insurance company.
Robin said that somehow the character ''Scruff face'' in the book was linked to Jesse and that's why he sued. Howard said that he hopes this doesn't hurt their run for president. Robin said that Howard and Jesse haven't talked to each other about that lately. Howard said that he'd love to have his name thrown in there but he doesn't want to do anything. He said he'd be a really lazy Vice President. Robin said he would have to travel to other nations and go to funerals and ceremonies. Howard said he just wants to build that dome over New York City. He said maybe over America.
Howard said that he played the Baba Booey mention earlier. He said that Parks and Recreation gave them a ''Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa stop the clock'' shout out. Howard played that clip and then went to the top 5 songs.
Howard said number 5 is Taylor Swift. Number 4 is also Taylor Swift. Howard played High Pitch Eric singing that one. Number 3 was Hozier. Howard had Robin singing that song. At number 2 was Ed Sheeran and he had High Pitch singing that one. He played a clip of Sheeran singing his song on his show last year. Howard said that was a nice job he did. Howard said that he writes his own songs.
Howard said he was watching The Talk and they were talking about what he said about Sam Smith and it's all going horribly wrong. Howard said that Sharon Osbourne did step in and talk about what a nice guy he is. Howard said the one person who stepped in was Sheryl Underwood. Howard said she got it and explained it to the people on the show. Howard said the gay guy on the show didn't want to hear it. Howard said he appreciates her doing that for him.
Howard said number 1 was Mark Ronson with Bruno Mars. Howard played some of Evil Dave singing that song. Howard said he did a nice job with that. Howard said he almost didn't watch The Talk. He said he hates when he's misunderstood. He said he had to watch it to see who stuck up for him. He said someone there didn't stick up for him. He said maybe it was the gay guy. Howard said he doesn't remember.
Howard said Sharon was sweet about it. Robin said she didn't have a good defence though. Howard said that's true. He said she said it was just Howard being Howard. He said that maybe he actually likes the guy. He said he invited him to come on the show but he's not sure what's going to happen there. He said that he was on Twitter and people were all over that. Howard said that he gets tweets from people he never hears from on there. He said that people were calling him ugly and he just says that's why he said what he said about Sam. He said he knows he's ugly.
Howard asked Fred if he could do the news. Fred told him to do a live commercial and then do the news. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin started her news with a story about a guy who was running for mayor and how he was saying that the rent was too high. Robin said his name is Jimmy McMillan. Robin said the guy is being evicted so the rent must have been too high for him.
Howard said one thing about the Super Bowl is that guy named Dante but his name is spelled ''Dont'a.'' Howard said they must have wanted to name him Dante but they didn't know how to spell so they put that on there. Howard said his dad's name is Benjamin but he thinks they spelled it wrong on his birth certificate. Howard said that he thinks they put Bernard on there. Howard said there were a couple of other odd spellings of names in that game. Gary told Howard about some of the odd names that he knows. They spent a couple of minutes going over some of those names and goofing on the people who named their kids with those ridiculous names.
Robin read about Bobbi Kristina and what's going on with her. Robin said that Bobby Brown is very upset about that and he doesn't want to lose his daughter. Robin read the details about that and that led to Robin talking about how her mother was dying and they thought she was going to go but then she just popped up and started eating. She said it was remarkable. Howard said that is a sad story about Bobbi Kristina. That led to Howard playing a clip of Robin singing a Whitney Houston song.
Robin read a story about Gary Glitter who is on trial in London for some child porn charges. Howard said that is such a fucking illness. Robin said that he says he's felt sorry for it ever since. Fred played the one song they know Gary Glitter for, ''Rock and Roll Part 2.'' Fred played part 1 and Howard said it's awful. He said it was so smart to release the one with no lyrics. Howard said that it's so much better. Robin read about what he's accused of doing with an 8 year old and a 12 year old. Robin said he could end up in prison once again.
Robin asked if Howard saw Nick Cannon on the Super Bowl commercial. Howard said he heard that he's become a big playboy lately. He said he's done with Mariah Carrey now and moved on. Howard said there still isn't confirmation about who he's working with on AGT. Howard said he did have a meeting with the NBC guys who straightened out his scheduling problems though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the problem with Katy Perry was the way she had her hair pulled back so hard. He also threw out the movie ''Black Sea'' for Robin to watch. He said he thinks that she'd like that. The caller called Robin a ''film buff'' and Howard said he has a problem with that. Robin said that she is a film buff. Howard said he doesn't think that. He said that everyone is a film buff then. Howard said that he has seen all of those high faluten movies that Robin has seen.
Robin read about some of the commercials that ran during the Super Bowl. Robin said that there was one for Fast and Furious, and one for Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Howard said he thought that Keanu Reeves was in that one. Gary said that it was John Cusack. Howard said he didn't come back for the second one. Gary said he did not. Robin said the Jurassic Park movie was also advertised. Howard said he has no interest in that. He did like that the animals were eating people though. He said it was kind of cool.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who told Howard where she went to school. Howard cut her off early. Mariann said she read that Mel B did sign on with AGT. She said that they have Howie's picture with Mel B and Heidi too. She said that must be who is going to be on.
Robin read more of the movie commercials that aired during the Super Bowl. Robin mentioned Pitch Perfect 2. Howard said he liked the first one. Robin said she's embarrassed but she cried during that one. She said that it was good. Howard said that it's ridiculous but he liked it. Gary said someone in the office mentioned they saw it but they all revealed that they liked it. Gary said that it was 5 guys who admitted they liked it. Howard asked how they can love a movie like that and be football fans. Robin said she was so embarrassed when she realized she liked it. Howard said he thought he was the only one. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin told Howard that the new Terminator: Genisys movie was also advertised. Howard said he wants to know how they're explaining that he aged in that movie. Howard said it looks like they have a new Young Arnold in the movie too. Robin said that he may be young and old in the movie. Howard said he doesn't know what's going on there. Howard said the first one was so great. He said it should have won an academy award. Howard said it should have won for best film. Robin said the second one was great as well. Robin said the movie Tomorrowland was also advertised.
Robin said today is Groundhog day. Robin mentioned that they have the forecast and they say there will be 6 more weeks of winter. Howard said it can't go fast enough. Howard asked what it means if Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow or not. Howard said it's all bullshit. He said he hates that. He hates bullshit science. Robin said they have Staten Island Chuck who does the same thing there. Howard said last year Mayor DeBlasio dropped the groundhog on his head and it died.
Robin read a story about President Obama telling parents to get their kids vaccinated for measles. Robin said that an outbreak is going on after people visited Disneyland. Howard said we were done with Measles until these people stopped vaccinating their kids. Howard said they should be forced to do it. Robin said that we have freedom here. Howard said it's like they went back to 1920. He said they must have gotten into the hot tub time machine and gone back. Howard said that's like saying Polio is back. He said that Richard may not have ever been vaccinated. He said he doesn't know for sure. Howard played a clip of Richard's dad telling Richard not to get his wisdom teeth filled because he might have to miss a lot of work or something. Howard said Richard looks like he has measles already. He said he's all red and flush.
Richard came in and said that he assumes that when he was little he was vaccinated. He said they had a hospital close by and he thinks they would have done that. Howard said he can't believe a guy who lived in a warehouse wasn't vaccinated. Richard said he's probably immune to it because he lived in that warehouse. Howard let Richard go a short time later and did a live commercial read.
Robin read a story about Suge Knight was arrested last week. Robin said he's been on the show. Howard forgot about that. Robin said that Suge is accused of running two people over. Robin said that they are saying he may have run over them twice. Robin said they think the hit and run was intentional. Robin said that one of the people was fatally hit. Robin said they are looking for videotape of the incident. Robin said they say that the camera wasn't working in that parking lot. Robin said they are asking for people who might have videotaped it on their phones to turn it in. Robin said Suge's attorney says there is video and it will show he was running for his life.
Robin read a story about a former power ranger who is accused of stabbing someone with a sword. Robin said that it was his roommate that he allegedly stabbed. Robin said they say that he allegedly picked up the sword and stabbed the man in the abdomen.
Robin read a story about Charles Manson's son. Howard said he looks like Wolfman Jack. He said that it looks like the two of them had a kid together. Howard said he's not sure what the kid thinks of his dad. Robin said that he has come to respect his dad. Howard said ''how nice.'' Robin said that he was the result of a rape according to the son. Robin said that Manson is a newly wed and he wants to have another child. Robin said the son says that he would do anything to do that. Howard said Manson is 80 and he has a 20-something year old girlfriend. Robin said the son says that he'd like to raise the son himself if they do manage to get that woman pregnant.
Robin read a story about ISIS beheading another prisoner. Robin said this is the second Japanese man they had kidnapped.
Robin read about how China is warning America to not meet with the Dalai Lama. Robin said that China opposes any nation that interferes with their domestic affairs. Robin said that the Dalai Lama says he may be the last. Howard said he knows that whole thing but why is he the last. Robin said he doesn't want to see that position tainted in any way and he fears that if he chooses someone who is too weak to resist the Chinese influence that it could be compromised.
Robin read a story about how sugary drinks could make a menstrual cycle earlier. Robin said that's according to research. Howard asked Robin when she started. Robin said she was around 11. She said she may have been a C-cup around 12. Howard played a song parody about Robin's boobs after that discussion.
Robin read a story about the man who invented the birth control pill dying. Robin said that pill freed many people from worrying about condoms.
Robin read a story about the betting on the Super Bowl and what people were betting on. They went over some of those bets.
Robin read a story about how it's the final days that you can file a claim against GM in their ignition switch case. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:00am.
Jon said he likes when the players mention where they went to school. He said that it was interesting on the show today when some of the guys were confused about where they went to school. Jon said that the guys do a great job on the show but their education was questionable. He said they'll see where that goes. Jon said it turned into a half hour of radio gold today when Howard had them mentioning their schools.
Jon said that they have pictures of Sal wiping his fake shit out of his ass. He said that he wants to hear from the fans about that wiping technique.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's worried about Richard. He said he's drinking 40 drinks a day and he has a problem. He said having 40 drinks on any day is an issue. Jon said he think Howard is addressing it directly. He said that it goes for a lot of them on the show that if you do something that's not good for you then you know you have to do something about it. He said that it's anything that you do. Jon said it falls upon the person who has the problem. Jon said that he thinks even Richard is a little worried about himself. He said that he was in pretty good shape yesterday when he saw him. He said that he hopes it doesn't become an issue for him but he is heading down that road. Jon said he had to take a break after that.
Jon said the thing they were doing at the start of the show was the wiping thing. He said the poll is about how you wipe. Jon said that they brought it up last week and he's amazed at how passionate people are about their wiping.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he rolls his paper and then folds it. He said he's not sure how they got the stuff on his fingers. Jon said there are times that you have a decent amount in there and Sal did get it on his fingers. He said he wasn't making a strong case for wiping that way.
Jon wondered if the fans would be up for a 9 o'clock start. He said that Howard did mention that today. Jon took a call from a guy who said he's heard the wiping issue on the show but who cares as long as they get their ass clean and don't end up with a hand full of shit. Jon said he thinks Howard cares a lot. He said Sal tried to prove that he doesn't get shit on his hands and he wasn't able to do it with the Reese's mix. He said this is a big issue for the Stern Show.
Jon said the other thing that came up today was High Pitch Eric being upset with the mayor but not the weather forecasters. Jon said that he had a good critique of Katy Perry's outfit. Jon said Howard was jealous of Eric getting to sit home and do nothing all day. He said he thinks that Howard is envious of that lifestyle. Jon said Eric is getting some notoriety and eating what he wants. He said Howard was a little envious and he found that interesting.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thinks starting the show at 9 is a terrible idea. He said people are working 9-5 and they won't catch the live show. He said whatever makes Howard happy is what they should go with though. Jon said he doesn't think Howard would ever do the 9 o'clock thing. He said he thinks 7 is enough of an adjustment for him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he doesn't care when they start the show because he can listen at any time throughout the day. He also said he thinks that the Wrap Up Show is great and they're doing a good job even though it's changed. Jon said that it has changed and they're gearing it toward the fans. He said the staff stuff will be on Howard's show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Richard's drinking problem is something he can relate to. He said that he got married about 2 years ago and he has some bad drinking issues. He said that he will go out on a weekend and get tanked but during the week he's sober. He said there is a point where he'll be drinking and you hit a threshold and you can't stop. He said he feels for Richard where he's at with that. Jon said that today was the first time Richard has really acknowledged that he might have a problem. He said that sometimes it takes a tragedy to get to the person. He said Richard functions and he has a happy marriage and his health is pretty strong. He said you don't see the long term ramifications during that time. Jon said he has that problem with his diabetes. He said it's hard to ask for help if you don't think it's a problem. He told the caller he hopes he gets his stuff worked out.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he hears the Richard stuff every day and he doesn't think he's an alcoholic. He said there is a huge difference between being an excessive drinker and having to drink. He said he's never heard Richard saying that he has an issue. The caller said that he grew up in an alcoholic household and there is a big difference. Jon said that's a good point. He said that Richard may not need to drink. He said they'll hope for nothing but good news for Richard. Jon said he had to take a break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal isn't doing it the right way. He said that he should ball it up and get the bulk of it out before doing the folding thing.
Jon asked about Sal and Richard going to the bathroom together. Gary said that the people there didn't know about them doing that at work so they were freaking out thinking they were going in to do drugs or something.
Jon also said he wanted to talk about Richard. Jon said that there is concern for Richard about the drinking. He said that it's the long term effects they're worried about. Gary said he went and saw him during the break. He said that he was being serious off the air and went through the whole thing with him. He said that he was trying to explain to Richard that the problems are going to sneak up on him before he knows it. Jon asked if they take it to heart or do they just keep doing it because Howard likes talking about it. Gary said he thinks Richard likes doing it so he's going to keep doing it. He said Richard never shows up late or anything to work so it's not affecting his life. He said it may affect his health some day though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that the show starting later would be great. Jon said he thinks they'd all like to get up later. Gary said he likes getting up at this time. He said it would be difficult getting home later in the day. He said he likes being home before rush hour and all of that. He said he does like that extra hour of sleep on Sunday nights.
Jon asked about what he thinks about starting the show later. Gary said that they were pounded in the head that being on at 7 in the morning was the way to go. He said people are creatures of habit though and Howard is in that group. He said he thinks that they'll be on early in the morning.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he has folded his toilet paper and he has gotten shit on his fingers. He said that he washes his hands after that though. Gary said that it's putting your fingers close to danger that they're worried about.
Jon said that 67 percent of people say that they fold the paper but not like Sal does. Jon said he doesn't know what that means but they will have a lot to talk about on the next show. Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:40am.
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Howard started the show talking about how in 4 hours it'll be Miller time. They're at it again. Howard said they're there bright eyed and bushy tailed. Howard asked what will happen the day he comes in with nothing to say. Robin said the world will stop spinning.
Howard said they're getting up an hour later now. He said maybe it's enough. Robin said they've been doing it almost 35 years now. Howard said he was doing it like 10 years before he met Robin. Robin said it was more like 5. Howard said it was a lot. Robin said Howard was 27 when she met him. Howard said it's enough already. He said it's time to go off into the sunset. He said it's time to sleep. Robin said it's a chance to dream. Howard said it really is enough. He said that's it, goodbye. He said it would be weird to say goodbye. Howard said that's crazy.
Howard said Ronnie was like 47 when they started this. He said he's like 87 now. Robin said it's time for him to stop. Howard said he has a Band-Aid on the side of his head. He said they took something off at the dermatologist. He said he has to clean it every day and the Band-Aid is sliding around. He said he can't be doing it right. Robin said you have to take a dab of that stuff. Howard said he did. Robin said he probably put too much on. Howard said that's probably it. He said the odds of it staying on aren't good.
Howard said they have all kinds of cancer that you can get. He said you get a bunch of pamphlets about it. Robin asked if he checked his wiener. Howard said he did. He was checking his balls too. Howard said he was glad he did it. Howard said he didn't like anyone seeing his junk but he did like he checked so much of him. Howard said he didn't chub up. He said the guy didn't laugh at him though. He said there's just nothing there. He said you expect to see something with such a big guy. He said it's embarrassing. He said he has cellulite on his ass. He said it's a mess.
Howard said he's tried to fix his ass by doing squats but they do nothing for him. He said he thinks the key is to work out when you're young and you'll have a good body the rest of your life. Robin disagreed. Robin said that some people have a better body from genetics. Howard said that's just not right. Robin explained that to Howard but he didn't want to hear it. Howard said that the basic infrastructure isn't in there. Robin said neither are these cells she's talking about. Howard said you have to get out and move around. Robin said she has seen guys who worked out when they were young and they're a mess now.
Howard asked Benjy if he has a boner listening to that clip. Benjy said he starts to clench when he hears his voice.
Howard said now Perez starts crying to his roommate that he wants to go home. Howard played some of that audio too. Perez was talking about how he doesn't want to stay there. He was talking one of his house mates about how he wanted to get out and go home. Howard said he thought he had a kid to raise at home. Robin said she was wondering about that. Howard said he's making some impact over there in Britain.
Howard said Perez started a blogging web site and now he's a big star. He said he started out in his basement. He said of course he's a little nuts.
Howard said he has a couple more clips. Howard said he's so annoying that he would wake up his house mates by coughing. Howard played another clip where the house mates got mad at him for coughing. The people in the house were pissed that he was coming up to cough instead of staying downstairs.
Howard said there's not enough money in the world to get him to live in that house. He said that he'd like to know who is running his web site.
Howard played another clip of Perez talking about how he has to speak to his lawyer. Howard said it sounds like he wants to get out of there and that's why he has to talk to the lawyer. The Big Brother people talked to Perez asking him to sit up on the chair. They said they'd like him to sit where they can see him. Perez told them that he's been threatened in the house. Big Brother said they are aware of that. Perez said he has not been perfect in the house but he's trying to act like a professional. He said he tried not to break the rules. He said he was sorry as he was crying. Howard said he's convinced that they need a diary room. He said that has to happen.
Howard said he'd like to combine a dance show with a diary room. Howard said that's some TV there. Howard said that's their buddy there. Howard said he had to take a break after that. He said that J.B. Smoove is coming in today.
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Howard said that they went out to dinner the other night. He said Beth said she had something to tell him. He said he wondered how bad he fucked something up. He said Beth told him that she's now a vegetarian. Howard said oh, okay. He wondered how that affects him. Howard said he doesn't eat anything but fish. He said he doesn't eat turkey or meat. He said then the next day they were at lunch eating fish. He said Beth said she thinks she was drunk the day before. Howard said then after that lunch she hasn't had any fish. He said maybe she is vegetarian. Howard said that it hasn't affected him. He said that he's fine with her doing that but he's not changing. He said that Robin became a pain in the ass when she became a vegan. Robin said she did not. Howard said she is a pain in the ass at the restaurants. Robin said all she did was say that she's a vegan. Howard said he didn't like it.
Howard said that he gets nervous in restaurants. He said that his father would get so uptight about the way his mother ordered. He said they had to order properly. He said his dad would freak out on them. He did his father and mother's voices and had them ordering at a restaurant. Robin said Howard has become just like his dad. Howard said he has a lot of anxiety.
Howard said his dad was so angry with his mother. He said she'd order her cole slaw for her main course. He said his dad would explain it to the waiter even though the guy knew what she was saying. Howard said he would just order what his father got to keep it simple. He said that his dad would yell at him if he did something wrong.
Howard said his dad grew up poor so he didn't go to many restaurants. Howard said he thinks he wanted him to be like Peter Lawford. He said his mother just wanted more time to look at the menu. He said his dad had this weird way of talking. He said he thinks he was trying to get rid of his accent and he'd put on this weird voice. He said he'd say Roquefort dressing in an odd way. He said that he'd say other things in odd ways. Howard said he would order the same thing as his dad but just change the dressing and his dad would yell at him about that. He said he'd make him repeat the whole order. Howard said his sister would get away with a lot more than he did. He said his dad wouldn't yell at her about the things he yelled at him about.
Howard said his mother never got things right so his father would be boiling mad. He said he thought his dad's face was going to boil off. He said his mother would ask a question and his dad would get so angry. He said when the waiter would leave he'd ask his mother why she did that. He said then the weirdest thing would happen. He said they'd go to this place where they had a live band that was the world's most depressing band. He said his dad would get up and dance with his mom. He said it was so odd. He said they'd yell at each other and then get up and dance. Howard said you had to see the waiters at this place. He said they had bad comb overs and they were low lifes just like them.
Howard said his dad would get angry if they started a conversation with a waiter. He said his dad would say they don't care. Howard said that he feels he has to lecture people about that too. Robin said it's okay to talk to the waiter.
Howard asked if he was doing something wrong by favoriting. Benjy said that it doesn't seem like it. Robin said that you can't do anything on Twitter because you get comments on everything.
Howard said that Wolfie went to a wing bowl and asked people if they think 40 beers is too much. Howard played some clips of some of the people there talking about how much they drink. Howard said they're drinking a case of beer before they go into that Wing Bowl thing. Howard said they have a nice suitcase to carry your beer in now. He said he has no idea how many are in a case. He said that he's not anti-booze. He said that he thinks some people have a problem. He said that's what he was talking about with Richard yesterday.
Howard played more Wolfie interviews with these people and they were saying some creepy things about women and what they'd do to them at this Wing Bowl.
Wolfie asked one guy what he thinks about a man who wears makeup. That guy said he'd beat the shit out of the guy. Howard played another interview where the guy going to the Wing Bowl was saying some creepy things about women too.
Howard said he is so not a guy. He said he can't drink so much. He said that he doesn't get it. Robin said that Richard drinks so much that he's always going to the bathroom. She said he was never around when she went to say hello to him at the Christmas party. Howard said he saw the bill this year and he thinks it was from Richard drinking so much.
Howard asked Gary if he knows how much that party cost him. Gary said he would say if it was 100 people it had to be at least $100 each. He said that he thinks it's like $100,000. Gary told Howard that Richard knew the bartender by name. Robin said that's what Richard does.
Howard said Wolfie ran into a guy who has to clean up at the Wing Bowl. He asked him some questions about how bad it is cleaning up there. The guy said that he'd like people to shit in the hole. Howard said people can't even get their shit in the toilet.
Howard played a clip of a bunch of guys chanting a couple of things. They were chanting about the Wings and then chanting ''Show your tits!'' over and over.
Howard said there were a lot of guys vomiting over there at the Wing Bowl. Howard played a clip of a guy talking about how much he had to drink and talking about a lot of vomit and tits in there. He said there were a lot of rights being broken. Howard said this is concerning to him. He said he's not against drinking but it is a bit excessive. Howard said that if he didn't say something to Richard then people would be upset about that. He said he can't win.
Howard played another clip of a guy who Wolfie asked about Bill Cosby. The guy said he thinks Cosby likes puddin'... puddin his dick in places it doesn't belong. Howard and Robin said that's pretty funny.
Howard played a clip of a guy throwing up at the Wing Bowl. Howard said that things were getting ugly as the morning was going along. Howard played another clip of Wolfie talking to someone at 6 in the morning who had maybe a case of beer. Wolfie asked what the odds were that he was going to vomit. The guy said that vomiting is ''for pussies and fags'' so he won't vomit.
Howard played another interview Wolfie did with a guy at the Wing Bowl. A lot of the guys he was interviewing sounded like they were racist. He'd ask them about Black History Month and they'd go on a rant about them and use the N-word in the rant.
Howard said that he might have to hold a dignified Wing Bowl. Robin said no one would show up to that. Howard said that J.B. Smoove is there. He said that he ran into him at a Knick game. He said that they had a brief hello. He said their last conversation was right there. Howard asked when he was last there. Howard said it doesn't seem like that long ago. He said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and said J.B. Smoove is there. He said he's a very funny guy. Howard said he always looks forward to him coming in. He said he's not sure what he's promoting. Howard said he looks very stylish today. J.B. said that not every guy can do that. He said Howard is complimenting him and insulting the way he looks in the summer. Howard asked who puts together his look. He said it has to be a team. J.B. said he does this himself every day. Howard said no man can do that. J.B. said that his name is J.B. Smoove so he has to be able to do that.
Howard said J.B. was a dancer before he was a stand up. J.B. said he was Jay Smoove. He said that was in the early 1990s. He said that he went with the name Smoove instead of Smooth too. He said that people ask him if that's his real last name and it's not. Howard asked if he felt that was a bit of a boast or arrogant. J.B. said that's why he dropped the TH. He said that it has a reputation. He said that people get used to it. J.B. said that this evokes people to look up his name. He said that you have to look up his name. Howard said he has the feeling he's on the cusp of becoming really big. J.B. said you have to stand being your name. J.B. said that some people change their name. He said Robin should have changed her name. He said Robin Quivers is a fucked up name. He said that's not Robin. He said she's very outspoken. He said she doesn't quiver for anyone. He told her to drop that name. He said that she could change it.
Howard said that he loves J.B.'s career. He said that he grew up and didn't have any dreams of being a comedian. J.B. said of course he did. He said he was inspired by Richard Pryor and Bill Cosby and George Carlin. He said that if you can walk on stage you're halfway there. He said that he was like 8 years old listening to those party albums. He said that Redd Foxx had some great party albums. He said they were filthy. He said that they were so filthy that girls couldn't listen because they'd get pregnant. Howard said back in the day they were sold in the back of the store. He said these days you can watch that stuff on TV. J.B. said that you're in their head when they're doing that stuff on the album.
Howard asked J.B. about being at the Super Bowl. J.B. said he was so caught up in that game he wanted to tackle people. He said he's a sports fanatic. He said that going to the Bowl is something you mark off your list. He said he was there to correspondent work and he was interviewed like 50 times before the players even came out. J.B. said that they love it when J.B. Smoove walks into a room. Howard asked if he watches games every Sunday and plays fantasy football. J.B. said that he is near 50 years old and if you challenge him he'll take you to the court or the field to play a game.
Howard said J.B. was a kid who got beat up a lot. J.B. said he wasn't an athlete. He said he wanted to play sports but never applied himself enough. He said he should have been great. He said he was on the team but he wasn't shit. He was terrible. J.B. said he was great in street ball. He said in that you couldn't stop him. He said in an organized game it was a different story. He said in his head it's not over officially.
J.B. said he heard Howard talking about how he wanted to play guitar. He said Howard feels like he could tear Bruce Springsteen's ass up in his head. He said in execution it's not the same. J.B. said he'd end up breaking his shoulder if he tried playing a game.
Howard asked J.B. about his Super Bowl experience. J.B. said that media day was insane. J.B. said that Rich Eisen's show called him to do some correspondent work. He said that he thought that would be fun. He said it's his first Super Bowl also. Howard asked if he talked to Marshawn Lynch. J.B. said he never did. He said he broke everyone he interviewed though. J.B. said that the media just goes to the podium. He said he laid back and all of the guys know him from something. He said he'd lay back and people would see him.
J.B. said he has weird questions for the players. He said that he would do this thing he called ''In Hindsight.'' He said he would do a post game pre-game interview. J.B. asked Howard what he does every day before the show. Howard said he showers and then gets his newspapers and reads them. J.B. said now he has enough. He said that he gets there to the show and the show is fucked up. He asked Howard in hindsight, what should he have done. Howard said he should have gotten more sleep. J.B. said that's what he was doing to these guys. He said that he would ask them what they should have done if they lost the game. He said he'd do that pre-game, post-game interview.
Howard asked J.B. what he thought of the last play in the Super Bowl. He said he should have run the ball, right? J.B. said he tweeted out something about how you pass when you have to and you run the damn ball when you're supposed to. J.B. said you can apply that to anything. Howard said he's making a good point. Howard asked if he thinks he could coach. Howard said Larry David said that he thinks he could be a great coach. Howard said he wanted to coach the Jets. J.B. said he knows Larry and his ass can't coach no god damn team. He said that isn't going to happen. He said that he will throw Larry under the bus and drive the bus over Larry and park it there.
Howard said when Larry was there he announced that he thinks that it was the last season for Curb Your Enthusiasm. J.B. said that Larry has a lot of money. He asked what you give the person who has everything. Robin said she didn't have an answer for that. Howard said love. J.B. said there's something else. J.B. said you give them respect. He said they have done it already. He said when he met Larry they were on the set. He said he said they were at 6 seasons and he told him to do 10 seasons. He said he thinks 10 looks good in a box set. J.B. said that it looks better on a shelf. J.B. said that 8 doesn't look as good. Howard said Larry didn't pay attention to that.
Howard said that J.B. and Larry have a lot in common. He said they both wrote for SNL and they didn't get any respect there. J.B. said that's right. J.B. said that's the universe working. He said that sometimes you end up where the hell you're supposed to be. Howard asked if he has talked about that with Larry. J.B. said they talk about it all the time. He said Larry is a genius. He said that you have to trick him sometimes. He said that he'll throw people into the mix and try to trick him into doing another season of Curb. He said he'll tell him that he has seen Jeff Garlin and he's not looking so good. Howard said the guy has hundreds of millions of dollars. J.B. said that Larry has money stacked up in the shape of furniture in his house. He said that's how much money that guy has.
Howard asked J.B. if he has gone to Larry trying to get his character a spin off show. J.B. said that he has. He said that they get along perfectly on the show. He said if he was around him all the time that might not be the case. J.B. said that if Larry invited him out for Cappuccino he might say something like Man, you gotta leave people the fuck alone. He said that he doesn't know how they'd work together all the time.
Howard said J.B. has mentioned that he will go see Larry in his play and he wants to throw him off his game. J.B. said he will sit in the front row and stare at his ass and nod his head. He said sometimes it's bad but sometimes people want your approval. He said he'd just sit there and not laugh. He said if he laughs then he's doing too much. He said sometimes if a friend comes to the show and laughs too hard then it throws you off. He said he's not going to do that. He said he's going to sit there and not laugh.
Howard asked if it's true that J.B. has more white people coming to his shows now that he's been on Curb. J.B. said here's how it works. He said you don't change yourself. He said that what he gets is a bigger platform. He said the audience might change. He said that it's what you do that attracts a different audience. J.B. said what's going on is that black people get to the show late to buy tickets. He said that white people camp out to get tickets.
J.B. said that they'd be writing at SNL and people would be lined up around the block to get tickets. He said there was not one black person in that line. He said that's why they never get into things like that.
Howard said that SNL is having their 40th anniversary. He asked if he's going to be there. J.B. asked what he means by that. Howard said he was part of the show. Robin said he was there. J.B. said that he will tell them something now. He said that they assume they don't want him. He said that they assume that his ass wasn't going to be there. Howard asked if he's really going. J.B. said he had to make an impression there. Howard said Joe Piscopo wasn't invited. J.B. said he's not Joe Piscopo. J.B. said maybe Joe didn't want to go.
Howard said Bill Hader was talking about J.B. and he was talking about how he was the king of the pitch. Howard said he had such nice things to say about J.B.. He said he was talking about how he would pitch in a meeting like no one else. Howard played a clip of Hader talking about his great pitches.
J.B. was laughing. Howard said that it sounds like he was great at pitching. J.B. said he can't say that he's great though. He said someone else has to proclaim it. Howard said that's what Michael Jackson did. He said he named himself the King of Pop. J.B. said that you can't say it over and over again though. He said that Howard is the King of All Media but he's not saying it all the time. Howard said he's the king of pitch. He said it boggles his mind that he pitched such great sketches and they didn't get on. Howard said that a pirate with two eye patches is funny. He said he was going to have Johnny Knoxville as a urine detective. He said that's funny shit. J.B. said that's common man stuff. He said it's a mystery why that didn't work. J.B. said that maybe that wasn't the mode of travel for him. He said we all have that and that wasn't it for him. J.B. said Howard had to do all of those AM stations for years before he got to where he is now.
Howard said J.B. moved to a new talent agency. Howard said they weren't getting him the auditions he wanted. J.B. said he's going to tell him how it works. He said you move a certain way in your life. He said if it's not moving the right way you have to change it. J.B. said that he is a vehicle. Howard asked him about he coat he was wearing. J.B. said it's fake fur but if someone throws paint on him he's going to kill them. Howard asked him about the vehicle thing. J.B. said he is J.B. Smoove and his responsibility is that he's got a vehicle. He said he has to maintain that vehicle. He has to keep it oiled and running smooth. He said the person behind making his vehicle get to a destination has to keep it running right. He said that he wasn't able to get to his destination so he changed the people who were maintaining that vehicle.
Howard asked if J.B. is willing to audition or is he above that. J.B. said that a lot of times in the audition they don't know what they want. J.B. said big roles come up and there are only a few people who do what you do. J.B. said no one does what he does. He said a lot of times they know who they want. He said your job is to go into that audition and take someone's job. He said that's all you have to think about. He said you're in competition with yourself.
Howard said J.B. thinks that he should be in a super hero movie. J.B. said that he doesn't know if he should be. He said that you should look good in your underwear. Howard said that he was at the doctor yesterday and his belly was hanging over his underwear. J.B. said that you have to get into underwear shape. He said you work out to look good in that. He said that's where you're going to be seen most. J.B. said they're going to take your clothes off at the hospital and that's why you have to look good in them.
Howard asked J.B. if he had fun doing the Chris Rock movie. J.B. said it was a lot of fun. He said Chris is a great writer and comedian. He said his style is amazing. Howard said it is. Howard said he may be the best. J.B. said that he's like a year older than him.
Howard asked J.B. about the new show he has. Howard asked if they asked him to fill in for Craig Ferguson after he left. J.B. said that you don't want to take over for someone. He said you don't want to replace anyone. Howard asked why they haven't tapped him for a late night show. J.B. said it doesn't matter. He said he's not even thinking about that.
Howard said J.B.'s new show is called Four Courses with J.B. Smoove. J.B. said it's an amazing show that's fun. He said they eat during the show and they have fun doing it. J.B. said that they go to a restaurant to shoot the show. J.B. said that he goes to a different one every time. He said that he checks out the bathrooms. He said that will tell you a lot about a restaurant. He said if it's fucked up then you don't want to eat there. Howard said he likes the places that have a private restroom. J.B. said that he's not sure what kind of budget it takes in Arizona but the whole field is inside a building that opens up from the top. He said in the bathroom there is no partition and the urinals are right next to each other.
Howard asked if J.B. has a big dick. J.B. said that it's hard to gauge it with big hands. Howard said he has a small one then. J.B. said that you never talk your Johnson up. He said you know you have a big one if you have one. He said that if you're with a woman she'll tell you by doing things. He said that if you can give yourself a wedgie with your hard on then you have a big one. J.B. said that it's not necessarily your size but your blood flow. Howard said it sounds like he has a small one. J.B. asked what if you meet the wrong god damn pussy. He said you can proclaim yourself all you want but you can meet the person who is the opposite of you. He said you're only as big as what you're working with.
Howard asked if there is something like a giant pussy that can make you feel small. J.B. said that Howard knows that there is such a thing. He said that Howard knows he's right. Howard said that a woman can be too wide, too deep or whatever. Howard said J.B. is like a doctor today. He said he's impressed with him today. J.B. said he should be impressed.
Howard said J.B. is the host of Last Comic Standing. J.B. said he was last season. Howard said it got great ratings too. J.B. said it did. J.B. said that the comedians don't do what they do. He said they change things up for the judges. He said that's not what you do. Howard said that they're doing another season and J.B. isn't hosting. J.B. said you gotta know what you want as a producer. He said that you have to know what you need for a show. Howard asked if they didn't recognize him. J.B. said they did. He said he motivated the comics. He said that this isn't for them to hold on to. He said it's for them to give away. Howard asked why he's not the host. Howard said the ratings were up. J.B. said that there is movement already. He said his vehicle is tuned up. He said he is moving and key is turning. Howard said good for him he must not be available. J.B. said that his vehicle is perfect. He said he can drive where he wants to drive. J.B. said that if the offer comes up then he'll consider it. He said if it doesn't come up then he can drive right by that shit. J.B. said that some things make sense and some things make perfect sense. J.B. said sometimes you just gotta drive.
Robin asked why J.B. doesn't do a show for HBO. J.B. said they know where he lives. He said that his vehicle is in perfect condition and they know where to find him at.
Howard said J.B. sold a script to FOX TV. He said J.B. has said that it's a horrible process. J.B. said you have to find your voice and sometimes you get lucky. He said Curb was perfect for him. He said he got to improv and work with Larry David. He said it was great.
Howard asked what the show was that he pitched to FOX. J.B. said what happens is when he's on a big platform like this it goes somewhere else. He said he has to be honest. He said last time he was there Robin wasn't even there. J.B. said that he is completely happy being B-level. He said he likes B. Howard said he must want to be A-level. J.B. said no. He said that A-level comes on its own. He said that he doesn't push that. He said that you have to eliminate certain things if you're at that level. He said that he can't go to an outdoor restaurant and have spaghetti. He said they'll get him on film doing that. J.B. said no one gives a damn about him. He said he has a bowl of gravy in front of him and no one cares. He said that's what's nice about being B-level. J.B. said that he has some fans who like him at that level too. He said that some people can move up to A too fast.
Howard said David Lee Roth went to Africa to be a C-level guy for a while. He said he went to Africa to get away from it all and he went to a mountain and found a tribe there. He said he got there and they yelled out ''Van Halen!'' when he arrived there. He said he wasn't able to get away from it.
Howard said J.B. was in the back listening to the Wolfie interviews and he heard the guy being racist. He said J.B. told Gary that's the problem with drinking. J.B. said that white people drink and they go back to the 1800s. Howard asked if he drinks to excess like that. J.B. said hell no to that. J.B. said he is a classy mother fucker. J.B. said that he looks good in a suit. He said that Howard doesn't think he looks good in one. Howard said he looks ridiculous in a suit. J.B. said that it's not the suit, it's the person in the suit. Howard said that's right. Robin said Howard would not look good in J.B.'s jacket. Howard said that he'd like to know what he would look good in. J.B. said he is very tall and his posture is fucked up. He said he has to stand up. Howard said he can't do that. J.B. said he'd have to wear a suit with a backpack on. He said that would help his profile out. Howard said he's going to try that. J.B. said that's how to do it.
Howard gave J.B. a plug for his TV show that's on the MSG network. He said he's doing a show at Madison Square Garden too. Howard said that's a big room to play. J.B. said that he doesn't see the audience. Howard asked what that means. J.B. said that he looks at them but he doesn't see them. Robin said that he's lost her now. Howard said he could play to 5 people or 5,000 and it doesn't make a difference. J.B. said now he's got it.
Howard said they had a great time together today. He gave him some more plugs and asked about this Garden of Laughs show. He asked what the charity is. J.B. said it's the Garden of Dreams and it's for kids. Howard asked if he has any kids. J.B. said he has a 21 year old daughter. He said she's pre-med. Howard said that's great. He said she owns her own pie company too. J.B. said she's doing some amazing things. Howard said he must be happy that she's not in comedy. J.B. said that she can do whatever she wants to do once she's a doctor. He said she can go do comedy or whatever and fall back on saving some lives.
J.B. said he has things to fall back on too. He said he sold fire extinguishers and things like that. He said he can go anywhere he wants to go. He said he just has to apply himself. He said that he has to be on some level contagious. He said he has to be able to do different things.
Howard gave J.B. more plugs and said you have to see him performing for the kids at the Garden of Laughs benefit. J.B. said he doesn't know what he's going to do there. Howard asked if he ad-libs. J.B. said he won't do that but he doesn't know what he's going to do. Howard said he has to pick and choose what he's going to do. J.B. said he's wrong again. He said that he will go there and feel the atmosphere there. He said then he'll know what to do. J.B. said Howard does this radio show and they can't see Howard and his mannerisms or his nice eyes. He said that he'll go there and figure out what he's going to do on the spot. He said he'll be spontaneous. J.B. said that his car is running so well and he's refined himself. He said it's like someone wrapping a gift that you know about already. He said it's the same thing but it's wrapped in wrapping paper with a new bow on it. Howard said he can see how fun he is. He said he gets why his pitches are so good.
J.B. said he did a show and his black book is legendary. He said lets say he went on a show and they asked him about his black book. He said that he pulls that black book out and they proceed to ask you about SNL and the great bits he wrote. He said he puts the book in his pocket and he leaves said show. Then he's on his way home and the book is still out there. He said that it's not the physical book but the thoughts that were in that book. He said that it lingers out there. He said that you can't say someone stole it but the essence is still there. J.B. said that they can say pay homage to or give credit to. Howard said he thinks he understands what he's saying. He said that his ideas could be used. J.B. said that someone out there could be doing those ideas. Howard said that he's funny when he tells those ideas. J.B. said the double eye patch thing has been someplace else. He said that Howard may not have seen it but it is out there. He said that it was taken from him. He said he won't get upset about it but it's out there.
Howard said he understands. J.B. said he won't say the person's name. He said lets just say it was Jimmy Kimmel. It wasn't him. He said maybe it was a writer who heard it. He said maybe they recycled it and used it. He said he's not saying that it has anything to do with Jimmy. He said he doesn't have to say anything about what's already out there. Howard said he hopes that didn't happen. J.B. said that if he's on Howard's couch he will tell him to his face. He said if he leaves that couch today and what they talked about today ends up on another show a month later he's going to be pissed. He said that he just did that god damn joke. He said they could call him to do those things. J.B. said he knows Howard has asked him to come in and do the Urine Detective. He said he would love to do that. Howard said he should call Jimmy. J.B. said he loves Jimmy. J.B. said when he sees something he told Howard in a different capacity it upsets him.
Howard said it killed him when he was in New York and he'd hear that someone in L.A. was doing what he was doing. He said he just wanted credit for what he was doing. Robin said it's about respect. Howard said Jimmy is such a good guy. J.B. said he knows that. He said he loves Jimmy. Howard said he should straighten that out with him. J.B. said that he just wants credit. He said he's not complaining. He said he wants to find the perpetrator. J.B. said that character is too specific. He said he's done it 10 times. He said that he has done it everywhere. He said that he doesn't normally do that but he does want to be respected. J.B. said he knows it's writers. He said he has seen his stuff on commercials. He said the advertising guys pick up ideas like that too.
Howard said he assures him that Jimmy is an original guy. He said that he is a nice guy and he won't steal things. J.B. said that he said things a certain way and they did it the way he said it. He said to take a character that he talked about ton Howard's couch without embellishing is just not right. J.B. said that they were eye patches and they weren't embellished at all. Howard said he just doesn't want him upset with Jimmy. J.B. said he's not. He said that someone in his circle who writes, said he was going to get up early that day. J.B. said he's not saying it was Jimmy. Howard said his pirate bit was pirated. J.B. said that he had a lot of people come up to him about it. He said it wasn't just him who noticed. He said that someone on the show wrote that for the Oscar special. J.B. said someone is going to get fired. That's all he's saying. J.B. said he won't ever use it but god damn it, he's just saying. Robin said they should just give him credit. J.B. said that someone should be fired.
Howard said Jimmy doesn't like it when people steal from him. He said Jimmy wouldn't do that. J.B. said even when you don't say anything you feel like something is wrong. He said he hasn't done his show in a long time. He said he hasn't done the show since. He said he has noticed that. Howard said he needs to talk to Jimmy. J.B. said he can call in right now. He said that's all he's saying. Howard said J.B. has said it all. J.B. said he pondered talking about it today. He said he just wants people to understand. He said that Howard says some funny shit but when Robin tags Howard's ass it's great. He said that what Robin and Howard do is so unique. Howard said it's the same with J.B.. J.B. said it's a big deal for Howard. He said that's all he's saying. Howard said he really is out of his mind. J.B. said he can eat spaghetti anywhere he wants. Now that's said that people are going to be looking for him. Howard wrapped up with J.B. and gave him more plugs and kept going with the double eye patch thing before going to break.
Howard came back and said the morning went fast. He took a call from Bobo who said that J.B. is so electrifying. He said that he had hot coffee coming out his nose. He said that it was really funny what he was saying about Robin's last name and with Howard's weighted back pack. Howard said he's never had hot coffee come out his nose. Bobo said that J.B. should be in weekly. Robin said she's not sure his vehicle can run by there that often.
Bobo asked if he called Jimmy during the break. Howard said no but he thinks they will work it out. He said it should be fine. Howard said that Jimmy was the one who turned him on to J.B. Smoove. He said he didn't know his work until Jimmy told him about him. Howard said that's why they booked J.B. on the show. Howard said that's why he'd like them to work things out. Howard said he knows Jimmy is a man of integrity. He would never steal anything like that.
Robin said that Howard came to Howard's defense very quickly. Robin said that Bill Cosby has people defending him too. Howard said Jimmy didn't do any Bill Cosby stuff. Robin said if people come in and they have an avalanche of claims like that then they have to think. Howard told her to stop it.
Howard said yesterday they were having the staff mentioning their colleges. Howard said yesterday it was just as fucked up as on the Super Bowl. Howard said that they found out that some of the staff didn't even know they didn't go to college.
Howard said they went to the Wack Pack and had them do the same thing. They had Tan Mom saying she's from the University of Florida. Gary said she may have claimed she went to law school. Howard played Big Foot's announcement and he didn't graduate anything. Howard said he has Angry Alice too. She mentioned her high school. Howard said that Richard and Sal said that Big Foot sounded really fucked up when they asked him to do his thing.
Howard had Bobo mention his Mineola high school, 12th grade. Elephant Boy said something about a community college. Robin said that if Bobo graduated high school then they already know he was in 12th grade. Howard said he must be proud.
Howard said that Tan Mom claims to have a masters degree in business too. Howard replayed Elephant Boy's clip. He said something about Lacoya. Robin said it's Laguardia. Howard said it sounded like Lacoya. Howard played Hanzi's high school announcement. Hanzi graduated high school. Howard did a live commercial read and took another break.
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Robin joked that Captain Dennis has two eye patches. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel is going to be so upset by that. Howard said that he's really not a thief. Howard said he hopes they work that out. He said that he'd hate to see them have a falling out. Robin said if they became enemies then what would he do. Howard said it won't happen.
Howard asked Benjy what he's seeing. Benjy said he's seeing on the internet that there was a pirate in a children's book that had two eye patches. Howard said he doesn't want to get in the middle of this. Robin said she's not sure when J.B. wrote that bit for SNL.
Howard played a clip of Yoko Ono singing along with a Saxophone player that he played yesterday. Howard said she's really going crazy. He said it's on the internet. He said it's John Zorn improvising and Yoko is improvising along with him. Howard said he can't take more time listening to that but there are people there applauding her. Howard said there can't be anyone who thinks that is good. He said honestly, are we that different that there's someone who thinks that's good? He played more of the Sax and Yoko thing and said they took it out on the streets and asked people what they thought it was. He played the responses and people thought it was someone yelling for help and someone thought it was farm animals.
Howard said they tried to work it into a couple of songs. Howard played some of the songs they were able to get it in. It was in The Benny Hill theme song and also in Baker Street. Howard said it works in Baker Street. Howard said it works with Kenny G songs too. He played one of those.
Robin read a story about Charles Manson's son and said that she's not sure if that whole thing was true or not. Robin said Charles isn't married yet either. Their 90 day license has expired.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the J.B. stuff was great today. Howard said he's a funny guy. The caller said he wouldn't mind sitting down to a plate of spaghetti with Robin. He asked Howard what he thought of the Adam Pally interview with Beth on The Late, Late Show. Howard said he did and he thought it was a lot of fun.
Howard said he's wondering where the new guy is for the host of that show. He said he's got months of preparing to do. Howard said that Craig Ferguson left and now they have guest hosts coming into do the show. Howard said that they asked him to do it. He said Whitney Cummings hosted it and there was no audience there. He said that had to be tough for her. The caller said that the Beth thing was funny because they kept saying it was a train wreck of a show. He asked Howard how he would do it if he could do whatever he wanted to. Howard said he'd probably just sit down and talk to people. He said he feels that format is just burnt out. He said it's been seen and done a million times already. Howard said it's the same thing with the Oscars. He said the format is old. He said there are enough people in late night doing that stuff. Howard said maybe he would just sit down with two eye patches and interview people. Howard said he can't believe there aren't more shows like their WWOR show. Howard said it was fun doing that stuff. Howard said on terrestrial radio they didn't want you talking about sex so they'd go in and hit people over the head with it. He said he's not sure what he would do with a late night show. He said he's doing this and America's Got Talent. He said he's working on another project too. The caller asked what it is. Howard said it's a scripted sitcom. Howard said that's all he's going to say about that. Howard said it's pretty funny actually. He said he doesn't know if anyone will ever even see that. He said he's just going to do what he wants to do at his point in his life.
Howard said he had some offers to do stuff and he wants to just do his best there while he's there and then maybe entertain some stuff after he's done there. Howard said you never know. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how Bobbi Kristina has been opening and closing her eyes so there is some improvement with her. Robin said she was found unresponsive and in a tub full of water. Howard and Robin spent a short time talking about that situation. Howard said that Whitney was so cute when she did that first video on MTV.
Howard took a call from Monotone Matt who asked if Beth has fashion tips for him. Howard said she does and she's good at it. He said that she knows how to dress. He said if she was a stylist she'd be really good. Howard said she watches the red carpet shows and she can see what's wrong with a dress. He said she has that eye. Howard said Beth might tell him to change his pants and he'll do it. Howard said he listens. He doesn't know. He said he has no way of knowing. Robin asked who gives Matt advice. Matt said his wife picks out clothes for him.
Howard asked if she's giving him pussy. Matt said she's been weak lately. Howard asked when he got his blow job last. Matt said she licked his balls. Howard said that's a sad situation. Howard asked why she can't blow him. Matt said his wife has a progressive disease and she's in pain and shit. He said he used to beg to eat her pussy and she would blow him and all kinds of things. Howard asked if they did 69. Matt said they didn't do that. He said she's a little person because she's 4'5'' tall. Howard said Matt is married to a little person. Howard said he tried 69ing a little person and ended up in her belly button. Howard said everything is just so crazy with Matt. Howard said that they have to have him in with his wife and Big foot and his Tranny girlfriend. Robin said that it might be transgender or transsexual. Howard said they have to get Matt and his wife in there.
Howard said that he's rethinking the whole oral sex on women thing. He said that the HPV thing scares him. He said that he's hearing a lot about guys getting throat cancer and they're not smokers. Howard said it's scary.
Matt said that his wife told him to throw out his love doll but he can't do it. Howard asked if it's a full sized doll. Matt said that it has no arms or legs. Howard said they should have sent the Real Doll they had to Matt. They gave it to Jeff the Drunk instead. It was supposed to go to Eric the Actor but he didn't want it.
Matt ended up talking about the kind of porn he likes and also ripping his penis jerking off. He said he didn't have enough spit on it when he was tugging on it. Howard said he doesn't have to spit on it. He said he just uses his hand on it. Howard said that's so vile to spit on it. Howard asked if his wife gets upset. Matt said she gets jealous of the porn chicks. Howard asked how tall he is. Matt said he's 5'8'' and his wife is 4'5'' tall. Howard said that's over a foot of difference. Howard asked if she has dwarfism. Matt said no. Howard asked if she looks like Peter Dinklage. Matt said she's in proportion.
Howard asked how big Matt's penis is. He said it's like 8 inches. He said his wife can't take the whole thing. He said that she had to stop him from going all the way in. He said he can only go about halfway in. Howard said they have to get them on the show. Howard said they're in L.A. so they might have to do a show out there. Howard said that he has to get into that house.
Matt said he wants to audition for America's Got Talent. Howard had him try singing for him. Matt didn't know what to sing. He laughed after each time he tried to sing. Howard took a call from a guy who said that David Arquette suggested calling him Nervous Laugh Matt. Howard said that's a mouth full. He let Matt go a short time later. Howard told Matt to send a picture of his wife and of himself. Howard said he has a pitch meeting for the new Munsters and he has to see them. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Joel Gray coming out of the closet at 80 years old. Howard said he always thought he was gay but he was acting straight. Howard said the guy was closeted the whole time. Robin said he says his family knew but he had never come out publicly before. Robin read about Joel coming out and why he did it now.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this revelation that Matt's wife is a midget is great. He said he's had such a hole in his heart since Eric the Actor died that this is great news. Howard agreed.
Robin read a story about a cat in Tampa who was allegedly hit by a car and buried by the owner. Then the cat clawed its way out of the coffin and back to the owner. The owners don't have the money to pay for the medical bills so the cat will be adopted out. Howard said this is why he wants a door on his coffin. He said he wants a way out.
Robin read a story about a man who walks 21 miles to work every day. Howard said he'd love to be able to do that. Howard said he's not sure who has the time for that. Robin said the man takes a bus part of the way and then walks the rest of the way. Howard asked if there is no transit there. Robin said he has to walk 21 miles. Robin said he was profiled in the Detroit Free Press and now people are raising money for him. Robin said the man has a perfect attendance record. He doesn't make enough money to buy and insure a car in the city. Howard said that's like 7 hours a day commuting. Howard said that's a lot of time to be walking. Robin said that is pretty crazy. Robin said they've raised $130,000 for the man so far.
Robin read about how large phones are stealing sales from larger tablets. Robin said that the tablet sales are down for the first time ever. Robin said the ''phablet'' is in.
Robin read a story about police in Davey, Florida are trying to figure out how a 3 year old boy was able to grab a gun and shoot his mother. Robin said the woman was shot in the leg. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about groundhog day and in Wisconsin the mayor of a city had his ear chomped on by a groundhog. Howard said they are rodents and they shouldn't be holding them. Robin said the mayor held the groundhog up to his ear while it was ''whispering'' in his ear.
Robin read a story about a man who was arrested for running a revenge porn web site. Robin said that the jury charged him with extortion and identity theft. Robin said that he extorted money to get the pictures taken down.
Robin read about the Super Bowl ad from Nationwide got a lot of negative publicity. Robin said they're hearing about it now. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how they don't always hit the mark with ads during the game. Howard said he doesn't want to be preached to during the game. He said that they're making him suffer because their players are a problem. Howard said they should play it for the players, not the fans. Howard said he's not the one who needs to be lectured. Robin had audio from a couple of the ads that ran during the game. Gary came in and asked if they saw the 90 second commercial that had ''Cats in the Cradle'' running. They did and they pointed out that the song is about a father who isn't there for his son but the commercial was the opposite of that. Gary said it was a car commercial. They spent a couple of minutes talking about those depressing commercials.
Gary said he has the Matt and his wife pictures. Howard said Matt looks like the guy who plays Stephen Hawking. He said his wife doesn't look that short. He said she is a little person though. Howard asked what was going on there in one picture. Robin asked what he's looking at. Howard told her to just look at it and move on. Robin gave it a ''Oh my'' and an ''Oh dear'' when she saw those. Howard asked Gary not to post those. He said some things are better left to the imagination.
Robin read about how 118 million viewers tuned in for the half time show at the Super Bowl. Howard said that's a lot of viewers. Robin said that it's the most watches Super Bowl of all time.
Robin said that prostitutes show up for a lot of these games. Robin said that Warren Sapp has lost his job for hiring some hookers to come back to his hotel room. Robin said that they got into an altercation and the police were called. Robin said the altercation came about because of a money dispute. Robin said he was charged with a few things and now the NFL network has fired him. Robin said he's the second announcer for being arrested for solicitation. Robin said a CBS broadcaster was also suspended last month for that. Howard said he's sure they're getting some ads ready for next year's game for anti-prostitution.
Robin read a story about Missy Elliot suffering from Graves Disease and that's why she hasn't been around lately. Howard said that sounds pretty serious. He said there are so many awful diseases out there.
Robin read a story about President Obama confirming that ISIS has a hostage. He says that we're doing everything we can to find the hostage. Robin had an audio clip of the President talking about that. Robin said that Islamic terrorists have already killed some American hostages. Robin said that they say they may have more than one.
Robin said that they're talking about closing Guantanamo Bay and she'd like to see what it's like down there before they do that. Robin said she'd like to know what lawmakers are seeing down there. Robin had audio of a congressman talking about what they have going on there. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Governor Christie talking about vaccinations and how parents should have a choice. Robin had some audio of Christie talking about that. Howard said we're in a society that has a disease called Measles and they eradicated it with the vaccination. Howard said just get the vaccination.
Robin read a story about Suge Knight facing murder charges after a hit and run incident. Robin said the charges were filed yesterday. His bail was revoked. Robin said if he is found guilty then he's under California's 3 strike law. He's a flight risk so his bail was revoked.
Robin read about this former Power Ranger guy who stabbed his roommate. Robin said he liked his personal space and his roommate may not have given it to him. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:05am.
Jon said that Howard talked about going to dinner with his parents and how hard that is. Jon said that Robin called Howard out on that. Jon said it's tough when you're with Howard and you don't want to hold him up. He said when you hear how he was raised by his parents then you get a sense of why he is the way he is. Jon said if you try to have a meal with Benjy then leave 20 minutes for ordering. He said he went out with Ronnie and JD the other night and Ronnie had to take command of the table and order for everyone. Jon said the ordering varies based on everyone individually. Jon said they heard from J.B. Smoove today too. He said they'll talk more about that after a break.
The caller said that the vaccine thing makes her crazy. She said that nobody understands that you have to think about the herd and the general public. She said that Howard is also turning into his father. She said that he uses the same words and he's acting the same as his father. She said he's like an updated 2015 model though. She said that he doesn't have the 1950s way of ordering but his strictness and rigidness is like his dad. Jon said he couldn't agree with her more. Jon said he thinks that happens to a lot of people. He said it does happen to you but people may not realize it. He said with Howard they have aired shows from years ago when they heard more about it. Jon said he agrees with her about the vaccine thing too. He said that he used to not get a flu shot until his wife told him to think about the family and getting them sick. Now he does it.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about what Howard said about the show and working on a scripted sitcom. Jon said they are in the final year of a contract. Jon said when it comes down to his contract year he has a lot of options to weigh. He said that Howard could stay on or he could say he's tired of this weather and move to Florida. He said he could also do other projects. Jon said that today was the first he heard of the scripted series. Jon said the rest of them are in their final year of their contract too. He said Howard makes his judgment on a 5 year basis and he hopes he'll be back. Jon said he thinks Howard is very happy there but he has had some bumps in the road. He said he thinks they'll keep hearing Howard on the radio but you never know.
Jon said another thing that came up today was the Wing Bowl that Wolfie went to. He said if you go to any event in the Philly area they will hear those kind of comments. He said they don't hold back on anything. Jon said that J.B. Smoove was talking about how it seems like when white people get drunk they go back in a time machine.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to comment on the Quivers moniker. He said that he has always thought that it was a great name and he never thought it was negative. He said he thinks of her quivering vagina. Jon said that's nice for him.
Jon said he wants to talk about J.B. Smoove a little bit. He said he was at SNL and known as the king of the pitch. He said that he didn't get much on the air though. He said he had some great ideas from what he can tell. He said that J.B. is so full of himself and he knows what he can do. He said he has switched talent agencies and tuned up his vehicle. He said today's appearance may help that.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard picks on the guests who mumble like they do with JD. He said he tuned out today because he doesn't like how he speaks. He said he thinks that J.B. speaks in a way that he can't stand. Jon said he doesn't think he was any less eloquent than other guests. Jon said that's just the guy he is.
Jon took another call from a guy who said his take on the J.B. interview was that he tried to take control over Howard. He said he seemed to want to steer the interview. Jon said that he does seem to want to do that and there was a bit of back and forth in the beginning. He said they eventually got comfortable with each other and it was very interesting. Jon said that J.B. likes to ramble a bit and Howard let him do that.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he wanted to comment on Monotone Matt or whatever they're calling him. He said that his theory is that he doesn't exist and he thinks that it's actually David Arquette. He said it may not be a real person. Jon said that's interesting. The caller said he thinks that it could be his creation. Jon said that is worth exploring. He said maybe Jon Leiberman can look into that. He said Leiberman is there so he asked him what he thinks. Leiberman said that it's a real person and they have done research. He said that none of that information matches up with David Arquette. He said he hasn't seen them in the same place at the same time though so there's always a chance.
Jon had Leiberman give his Howard 100 News headlines. Leiberman ran down the headlines and they went to break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought about Howard leaving. He said he loved Artie on the show and when he left he feels like the show's caliber of guests has increased. He said that he doesn't think that Gwyneth Paltrow would have come in when Artie was on. He said he thinks that Howard is getting the respect he deserves now. He said he doesn't think that he could have done it back then. He said he doesn't think Howard can let that go yet. He said he thinks he has unfinished business there. He said there have to be more people that he wants to talk to. Gary said he's not going to leave until Bruce Springsteen comes in. He said he's not giving up on that.
Jon said Howard was talking about that sitcom thing today. Gary said he really doesn't know what Howard is going to do. He said he puts so much effort into the show that it seems like he's not winding down. He said if they were he'd like to know about it. Gary said he's not looking to leave the show but it would be nice to book the last 3 months of the show with guests they've really wanted. Gary said that it would be the time to do it for anyone who would like to do the show. Gary said they could do some cool things if they were going to end it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Robin should be proud of her last name. He said that he also really thinks they're doing a great job there. Jon said that was a vote against J.B. and Robin changing her last name. Gary said the time to do it was 34 years ago if she was going to change it. Jon said that Robin has talked about changing her name and he has a clip there. He played a clip from today's Sternthology where Robin said she wants to go by Robin Ophelia Quivers.
Gary said he'd like to know what she saw that prompted her to want to do that. Jon said back then the three name thing was a popular thing. Gary said Howard wanted him to go by Gary Dell or Gary D. He said he never really expected to be on the air. Jon said that Howard has never changed his name. He said Fred has been the same too. Gary said that's not true. He said Fred's last name was different and Fred changed it to Norris. Jon said there have been some name changes there with Sal and some of the other guys.
Jon said the poll results are in and 62 percent said that no, Robin should not change her name. Jon took one last call before ending the show. The caller said he wanted to say that he just started listening about 5 or 6 months ago and it's changed his outlook on things. He said he thinks Robin should leave her name the same. He said he hopes they stay there too and keep doing what they're doing.
Gary said that J.B. Smoove was very funny in the green room today. He said that he's one of the guys who can make him laugh out there. He said some people don't want to be bothered but J.B. makes him laugh. Jon wrapped up and ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:50am.
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Howard started the show talking about some Yoko audio that Fred was playing. Howard said he loves that. Robin said it's never too early for that.
Howard said first of all he has finally gotten his due. He said he received word in the afternoon that he was voted Best Hair over George Clooney, Ryan Reynolds and all of the pretty boys. Howard said the poll was taken by the top hairdressers in the world and he won. Howard said there's no jokes. He said it's true. Howard said he wants to say something. Howard said he got a note from George Clooney this morning. He said that he bitched to him about that. He said he can't believe he lost to him. He said his camp is in shock. Howard said George has a great head of hair and so does Ryan. Robin said ''who cares'' about Ryan Reynolds though.
Howard said this was all over the news last night. Howard played a clip of ABC News Tonight announcing the win. Howard said he would like to say to his fellow nominees, Bradley Cooper, Chris Hemsworth and the others. He said this was about hair. Howard said he does have the best hair. Howard said he is proud of this too. He said he can't wait for the trophy. Howard said he wishes he had a face to go along with that hair.
Howard said he was talking to a friend about his hair and he told this friend that he doesn't color it and she was dumbfounded. Howard said he has no reason to hide that. Robin said she remembers going to salons with Howard and the women would carry on about what amazing hair he had.
Fred told Howard that it was more than the hair. He said they had things in there about how the hair works with the face and things like that. Howard said that it really does a lot for him. He said he has better hair than Green Lantern and Thor. He said he beat them all.
Howard said the story was carried all over the place. He told Robin some of the web sites that had the story. He said that one was AllAccess.com. He said one might be from E!.
Howard said the NY Post printed a picture of the Jordanian pilot on fire on the cover. He said he likes that. Howard said that's what they have to do. Howard said this is showing what these people are capable of. Howard said that people will be outraged over this. Howard said the people who need to see it are the people who are attacking the sniper Chris Kyle. Robin said that one Iraqi movie theater has pulled the movie American Sniper because there have been outbreaks in the theater. Robin said they are showing that video over there and they love seeing it. Howard said no. He said there are people in Jordan who are outraged against ISIS. He said this is anti-Muslim to burn a person alive. Howard said there are many Muslims who are upset by it.
Howard got back to his hair and talked about how great it really is. He said he has some grey in there but not a lot. Robin said he still has a thick crop of hair. Howard said he does and he has all dark pubes too. He said there are no grey ones down there. He said his beard is grey though. He said he doesn't know what's going on there.
Howard read about the web site that named him with the best hair. It's called GroomingLounge.com. Howard said that he appreciates that. Howard read the article about how they did the judging and how they found him to have the best hair. Howard said they have some dazzling pictures of him in there. Howard said Chris Hemsworth was number 3. George was number 5. Robin said he must be reeling this morning. Howard said he has great feet and hair and everything in between is horrible. Robin told him to stop it. Howard said that Clooney was claiming defeat. He said he knows how people feel when they win an Academy Award now.
Howard said that the guy from the web site says that he was surprised that he won but they do love his show. Howard said that he feels like they have to get someone different every year but he should be up to win every year. Robin said Clooney has won multiple times for being the hottest man.
Howard said they are going to send a trophy. He said that they say this should put to rest that he wears a hair piece or not.
Howard said he was watching the Mean Tweets bit on Jimmy Kimmel and it's such a great bit. He said they have the celebrities come on and read the mean tweets about them. Howard said he gets the meanest tweets. He said he's sure this will come up in the tweets.
Howard said he has people pranking on TV. He said they're getting his name out there. Howard played a clip of a reporter talking to a guy who was supposed to be a mayor up in Maine but he mentioned Howard Stern and said Baba Booey too.
Howard said that there's a debate about vaccinations. He said that he's not sure why people aren't getting them done. Robin said it seems like younger people think they're optional. Howard said that there are a lot of hippie kooks running around. He said there are people who are very smart who aren't getting them done. Howard said there are older people and people with immune systems that are down that are at risk because of this. He said they had eradicated things like Polio, mumps, measles and more and now they're coming back. Howard said the government shouldn't have to mandate this. He said you just do it for the rest of the people in this world. Howard said that people complain that their kids die from Whooping Cough and the reason is that people aren't being vaccinated. Howard said that a lot of young people are assholes. He said there is no one home in some of their heads. Robin read some statistics about the younger kids who aren't getting them done.
Howard said his dad had Scarlet fever when he was a kid. He said he was slated to die. Howard said that his mother took him home and nursed him back to health. He said he was quarantined at home. Howard said these diseases are no joke. He said that they don't have any science to back up that these vaccines are causing problems. He said that they have to cut out the shit and get it done. He said no one is trying to kill their kids.
Howard said this all started with Wendy the Slow Adult. Howard played a clip of Wendy talking about physics. They had High Pitch Eric doing that too. He had one of Big Foot reading something and sounding very smart too. That was before they were vaccinated.
Howard said today is the anniversary of Blue Iris' first appearance on the show. He had some prank calls that they had her make to celebrate her. Howard played one call where Blue called a woman and asked if she was making her hot and things like that. The woman told her to go to hell and hung up on her. They went to break after that.
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Howard said in the email a lot of people loved J.B. and a bunch didn't love him. He said it was overwhelming love though. Howard said he listened back to the interview and he admired listening back to him.
Howard said a doctor wrote him about JD and how he has inane giggling disease and the only cure is to jerk off into a t-shirt. Howard played a JD song parody after that. That was a Little Mikey song parody to the tune of a Prince song. Howard said Prince mentioned he got his inspiration for the song 1999 from a Mamas and the Pappas song. Howard said Ed Sheeran is being accused of stealing a Marvin Gaye song. Howard said that it seems like every song comes from a Marvin Gaye song these days. Howard asked if they have that song. Gary said he can put it up.
Bobo asked if he saw the replay of Jimmy Fallon last night with Neil Young. Howard said that was a new show. Bobo said he knows that. Howard said Neil did that bit with Jimmy for the first time last night. Howard said he thought it was a repeat but Gary said it was new. Howard said Gary got a big hit in the email yesterday. He said he asked what the Christmas party cost him and he said it was 100 people at $100 a head and it was equal to $100,000. Howard said he didn't even pick up on that because he's so bad at math. Howard read the email about that and people were going off on Gary for getting that so wrong. Howard said that's Booey Math. Howard let Bobo go and played him out with a ''worst caller'' song parody. Howard said that's Bobo Bowie.
Howard played the Marvin Gaye song ''Lets Get It On'' and then played the Ed Sheeran song they're talking about on the internet. Howard said that it doesn't sound the same to him. Fred said it's the cord changes that they're claiming. He said it's the same pattern. Howard said he doesn't even think that they're suing him over that. Robin said she would never do that. She said the case of the Robin Thicke song is much more solid.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw Paris Hilton's new tits. Howard said he didn't know she had new ones. The caller said TMZ posted a picture of her with the new ones. Howard said she doesn't need new ones. Howard said he's staring at Bruce Jenner's tits instead. Howard said he's jealous. He said he wishes he could have the first interview with him. Howard said he just got the picture of Paris Hilton's new tits and they're huge. He said they are nice. Howard said he wonders if they're actually nice though. He said she had nice ones before. The caller said his wife had nice tits but she got them done and they're beautiful now. Howard said some girls get fake tits and they get them too big and they don't fit their body. The caller said they do stand up too stiff sometimes. Howard said the Paris picture is pretty.
Robin said there was a girl on The bachelor who didn't know where New Mexico was. Howard said she's Sal's soul mate. Howard said he has audio from that show. He said this guy they have for The Bachelor is the worst. He said that his microphone might be smarter than that guy. Howard said he's not sure how any woman can be attracted to him. Robin said it says that they could dress up JD. She said he's as inarticulate as JD. Robin said that if JD could fly around in a helicopter and a hot air balloon he'd get girls too.
Howard played a clip from The Bachelor where the girl says she has never been to New Mexico. She said she though that it was a beach town and thought it was like Mexico. She thought it wasn't in this country. Howard said they had the girl talking more about it and she thought that it was in Mexico. JD said they cut it off at the end. Howard told JD he doesn't have to pull it.
The caller joked about Howard's hair being fake. Howard asked if he really believes that. The caller said he doesn't but he did ask why he has all that grey on his face and not on his head. He asked if he looks like Bobo when he pulls off that wig. Howard laughed at that. Howard let the guy go a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how risky it was for J.B. Smoove to attack Jimmy's writers like that. Howard said he thinks it's all a big misunderstanding. Howard said the thing he's jealous of is the nasty tweets thing. He said they have a brilliant team over there. Howard said he hopes it doesn't ruin their friendship. The caller asked if they can get both of them on the air. Howard said he's always there if they want to do that.
Howard said he has some audio of Pastor Manning. He said that he's talking about women mutilating themselves by cutting off their breasts. Howard said then he does something wild. Howard played the clip of Manning talking about how people can be led and influenced to cut off their breasts in puberty. He said that they can be led like Justin Bieber to cut off their breasts. He said when they're 20 they look back and wish they had never cut off their breasts or penis. Howard said he claims in that sermon that Justin Bieber is a woman who cut off her breasts. Howard said he thought he mis-heard that. Then it comes up again. Howard played another clip where Manning was talking about Justin Bieber being a woman who cut off her breasts. Howard said that guy is a genius. Robin said he's out of his mind. She said she hopes this is an act. She said he can't really think these things are true. Howard said it had better be an act. Howard said it is funny to think that Justin is a woman who cut off her breasts. Howard said that's too much.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about his acid experience and if he thinks he could have gone to a party on LSD. Howard said no way. He said he took 4 hits at once. Howard said he overdosed because he didn't know what he was doing. He said the guy handed him a small piece of blotter acid and he didn't know what it was. He said it didn't say it was a 4 way hit. He said he's a lanky skinny dude. He said he can't handle just one. The caller said his friend did acid and lost his mind. He said he thought he was in a video game and kicked in a wall thinking it would be cool.
Howard said he saw things that people wouldn't believe. He said he saw things and it accelerated. He said within a minute of taking it he was looking at a poster on his wall and the trees started to move. He said the scene came to life. He said that the water was moving and he ran to his mirror and saw his skin burned off. He said he was a skull and the cigarette was smoking like a dragon. He said the rest of the night he was seeing things that he didn't believe. He said that he got so scared that it got even worse. He said his friend Lou was walking him around and they walked into a dorm and he saw the posters in there and he wasn't able to read. He said the letters were dancing off the page. He said he was in a nightmare. Howard said he was losing his mind. He said it got worse as time went by. He said that he had no concept of time. Howard said he went down to the Charles River and he wasn't saying anything but ''The sun.. the sun.'' He said he got so sick after that. He said his throat was sore for weeks. He said his whole body was out of balance. He said he started to have OCD after that. He said his sense of smell was affected too. He said he's not sure what happened to him but he's not the same person anymore. The caller asked if his friend will change. Howard said he doesn't know but stay away from that shit.
Howard said he's glad his parents never found out. He said they would have freaked out. Howard said his mother would have asked what happened to him. He did his impression of his mom and dad talking to him about that. Howard said just don't do LSD.
The caller asked Howard if his opinion of podcasts has changed at all. Howard said no. He said if you want to be a broadcaster and you want to make a living at this then you have to be in radio. He said if you want to make 30 cents from your subscribers then you do a Podcast. Howard said that you have to get a job in broadcasting. Howard said people in satellite radio who have shows there think they have a job in radio even though no one is listening to them. Howard said that they are given shows because they have friends in management. Howard said that no one is listening. He said they get no money for it. Howard said the reason he gets paid is because he has a following. Howard said if you want to be in radio forget the podcast thing. Howard said podcasts are for losers. Howard said if he went and got a podcast it would be a different story. He said that he could make a living at it himself. He said that most people can't get a job on a regular radio station. Howard said that you have to earn an audience.
Howard said that a podcast is like that friend you have who plays guitar on the couch but never writes their own songs and never makes a living at it. Howard said you have to go out and get a job on a radio station. He said that podcasting isn't a way to make it. The caller said that it might be good practice. Howard said it's not. Howard said fuck you to podcasts. He said he hears these podcasts and people have no concept that they're boring everyone. Howard said they're bores who are in their living rooms boring everyone.
Benjy said he has to think of it this way. He said it can work on the internet. Howard said Benjy is the perfect example of a loser. He said that he thinks he's so interesting. Benjy said he would love to do a podcast. Howard said the only reason he'd have anyone listening is because he's on this how. Benjy said Howard is thinking broadcast. Howard told Benjy to get out of there.
Howard said if you go to a radio station you learn to produce bits and commercials. He said you learn things that go into being a professional. He said people who take the easy way to a podcast is nothing. The caller said that people at radio stations want a demo tape. He said the podcast can help. Howard said you learn nothing from that though. He said no one wants to believe that. Howard said you have to go to a class or go to a station to learn how to deal with people and have some pressure on you. Howard said he is one of the greatest broadcasters ever. Howard said you have to listen to him. Robin asked why he's getting so upset. Howard said Benjy got him upset.
Benjy said Howard listens to guitar lessons on the internet. He said you need people to be able to find things like that and that's what podcasts are like. Howard said if you want to be a professional broadcaster you have to have a learning experience. Howard said no one wants to pay for a podcast. Howard said he got on satellite because he has millions of fans who are willing to follow him. Robin said she understands that. She said he don't have to yell at her. Howard said everyone has lost their mind.
Benjy asked what's wrong with not making a lot of money but doing art. Howard said it's fine if you want to do it for fun. Howard said you can't make a living doing it. The caller asked about Adam Carolla. Howard said if Adam could get on regular radio he would do it. He said that he has to tweet out asking for people to give him a call. He said he should be on the radio. The caller got in a plug for his show ''The Adam Matlock Show'' and Howard said the only way he can get listeners is by putting it out on a radio show. The caller, Liam, said that's why he's there. Howard let him go and said he thinks he learned something there.
Howard said he went to school with a guy who said he was going to start at the top going right to WNBC. Howard said he had to start out at the small station like WRNW.
Howard played a clip of Benjy doing a radio show prank on a guy on the phone where he ended up yelling at the guy asking him how he was feeling. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he's not a fan of this stuff. Fred said it is one of the better pop songs out right now. Howard and Fred spent a short time talking about that song. Howard said Bruno is a short guy. He said they say he's 5'5'' but he thinks that means he's 5'2''. Howard said he needs to get on the dance floor to enjoy this song.
Howard said the song he's into is this one. He played a Baba Booey song parody and said that's more like what he's into.
Howard took a call from a guy who said there's a lot of talk about going down on girls and HPV. Howard said he thinks that it leads to getting throat cancer. The caller said that they also say that you can get parasites from drinking too much water. The caller said that eating pussy is fine if the woman is clean. Howard said Beth is fine but when he was single then he ate a lot of pussy. He said from what he understands there are people who don't smoke who are getting cancer of the throat. He said that he's saying this with no medical information of course. They played Lady's ''Pussy'' song. The caller was going on and on while that song was playing so they didn't hear a thing he said. Howard said he gets these feelings. He said he can't shake it. The caller said they're trying to brainwash people. Howard said he's not sure why we eat pussy. Robin said it's to have fun. Howard said it might be time to stop. Howard said he gets turned on by the intimacy. He said he has the vision of a girl in his mind who he ate out on his coffee table. He said he thinks back on it and thinks he shouldn't have done that. Robin asked why not. Howard said he could get throat cancer.
Howard said he isn't a total nut. He said that the NY Times had an article about how 70 percent of throat cancer comes from HPV. The caller said if you don't have it then you don't get it. Howard said most guys aren't testing a woman when they go down on her.
Howard said they say that up to 75 percent of sexually active people have HPV. Howard said that means many people have it and don't know it. Robin told him to stop it. Howard said we just have to think. He said we have to think everything through that we're up to. He said he knows people who have throat cancer and they can't eat or breathe on their own. Howard said that's if they live. He said it's not fair. Robin said Howard can take the fun out of anything. Howard said he's just trying to save his audience.
Howard said the only pussy safe to eat is Bruce Jenner's. Howard said he knows Robin loves it but she can't do it. Howard said we are medically aware now. He said that's why we know about this stuff. Howard said the pussy should be limited to just sticking it in. Howard said we can't randomly hook up.
Howard played a song parody about Robin and her tight heiny. Howard also played a prank call Captain Janks made to a TV station during news coverage of a fire. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that prank call gets him every time. He asked Robin if she wanted to talk more about eating pussy. Robin said she thinks she's done. Gary said Sal just came to him and said he has a reason that eating pussy is fine. Howard said he's a moron.
Sal came in and announced his high school and said he didn't know what town it was in. Sal said it's in Ronkonkoma but he grew up in Holbrook. Sal said he thinks it's Ronkonkoma. Howard said he's shocked by that. He said he should know. Sal said he doesn't really give a shit.
Sal said if you can get throat cancer from the HPV virus then why aren't porn stars getting it. Howard said he's not sure how many are coming forward. He said the other thing is that not everyone is going to get throat cancer. He said they say that it is a risk. He said knowing Sal's history he's probably eaten a lot of bad pussy. He said he's paid for it. Sal said he has never paid for it. He said that the booths have nasty pussy but he's never done that. Howard said you can't pick out a clean girl from a dirty one. He said that you just don't know. He said if you are susceptible then you will get it. Robin said the women who have HPV may have gotten it from men. Howard said she can say that, it's a free country.
Sal was trying to say ''prevalent'' but he wasn't saying it the right way so Howard goofed on him about that. Sal asked how you say it. Howard told him how to say it. He said he can't believe he pays this guy. Sal messed it up just seconds later.
Robin asked why women aren't getting throat cancer from HPV from doing men. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said Sal can eat as much pussy as he wants. He said he doesn't care. Sal said he has yet to see any porn stars die from this HPV. Howard said he has nothing to worry about. He can just stick to eating Richard's asshole instead.
Howard asked Sal if he understands now. Sal said if you think about the vagina the penis is much cleaner. He said that they've all come across a bad vagina. Howard said the HPV virus doesn't mean you'll get cancer but people who are susceptible to it may get it. He said that it's from eating pussy. He said that maybe lesbians are getting it too. Howard said that doctors suggest a dental dam for that stuff. Sal said there are going to be a lot of upset women out there. Howard said that's good for Sal. He said they'll look forward to getting a dick in them. Sal said he'd be lucky to get a finger in there once in a while. Howard asked if things are that bad. Sal said they're great. He said he loves his wife and that's it. He said goodbye after that.
Howard said that his working out wasn't honored. Robin said that Eric is living the life of a queen. Robin said he has a car service and maid service as well as food service.
Howard read something that said that kissing transmits HPV too. Robin said it is involved. Howard said he's not crazy then. Robin asked if he's going to stop kissing. Howard said deep French kissing yes. He said that his wife is clean but the rest of you are on your own.
Howard played more of Joey asking Eric about what he ate that day. Eric talked about his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Howard said that Joey is the size of Eric but he's lecturing Eric.
Howard said that Jon Leiberman is a great reporter. He said he's deep embedded with Eric. He said that he found out it's not just one sandwich. He said he thinks that it's like 7 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a day. Robin said he admitted to 2 the other day. Howard said it's way more than that. Howard said Jon is watching what he's eating. Howard said that's what's going on over there.
Howard said Jon is preparing a report that will be ready in a couple of weeks. Howard said he's looking forward to that. Howard said he's camping out and watching everything. Robin said poor Jon.
The caller said he wanted to talk about the vaccination thing. He said he got a tetanus shot about 9 or 10 years ago. He said he hasn't gotten a flu shot in like 10 years. Howard said he's talking about the mumps, measles and things like that. Howard said these are devastating diseases. He said these people are wise asses. He said he doesn't want to be the president but he has to slam these nut job's heads into a wall.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who said he heard a clip of Howard talking about how he met the devil once. Howard said he has met the devil and it's inside him. Robin said she remembers that segment and it was after Howard read a book and he was making it sound like it was his experience. Hanzi said it was not. Robin said it was. Hanzi asked why she has to burst his bubble.
Howard said he has Hanzi's college ID clip. He played that and Hanzi asked if he can get him a job at WWE. Howard said sure. Hanzi said he's buddies with Triple H. Howard said he just interviewed a guy 20 years ago. Hanzi started rambling about that stuff so Howard just hung up on him and moved on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Van Halen was an awesome band back in the time. His phone was cutting out so Howard asked what's going on. He said the cell phone is killing his radio show. Howard said he's fading in and out. The caller said that he wishes that Van Halen had stayed together. Howard said that Fred is worshiping Bruno Mars. Fred said he's not worshiping him but the music is slim pickings these days. Howard said there is some good music out there but it's not much. He said Royal Blood is good. The caller's phone kept cutting out so Howard let him go.
Howard said this is what the cell phone has done to his show. Howard said that he should ban them but then it would be hard for people to call in. Howard said there are people who have done away with their land line and only use cell phones. Howard said that can't be good for you to use a cell phone all day.
Howard said no one has mentioned the award for his hair. He said that he looked at the clock to see how many more hours they have. He said he thinks that they have to go to 9 but it's actually until 11. Howard said he's ready to go now.
Howard went over his hair award again. He said he won over all of these guys. He said he's pretty excited about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has to argue about the vaccination thing. He said that they didn't get all of them done with their kids right away. Howard said that he's a danger to the country. Howard said that he got all three of his kids vaccinated. He said that was on the advice of their pediatrician. The caller said that his wife would have a better argument. Howard said that he's making this stuff up in his head. He said no one likes to put any chemical in their body but this stuff is proven. Howard said that they did away with mumps and measles. Howard said now these people aren't getting them and it's endangering other people's lives.
Howard and the caller talked about that and global warming too. The caller said he may not agree with him on everything but he does listen to 99 percent of the show. Howard told the guy to tell his wife that she's a nut and get the kids vaccinated. The caller said that he'll tell her to call the show next week to have Howard change her mind. Howard said that his wife just happens to be nuts. He told him to talk to her and not have her call him.
Howard took a call from a guy who says he's a doctor. He said if you turn the clock back to the 1950s there were kids dying of Whooping Cough. He said that a strange reaction to a vaccine is like 1 in a million. He said there are people all over the country developing measles. Robin said it's highly contagious. The caller said he is a huge fan and it's an honor to speak to them. Howard asked what school he graduated. The caller mentioned a couple of schools and Howard said it sounds sketchy to him. The caller said that the medical school is the largest in the country. Howard asked if it's in this country. The caller said it is. He said it's in Philadelphia.
Howard asked the caller what his stance is on eating pussy. He said that it's good twice a day. Howard said he doesn't know why he bothers. He said that he makes common sense simple. He said it's always like that. Robin said not all the time. Howard said he's pretty sure it is.
Howard asked what happened to his call from Mitt Romney. Gary said he thinks he's sleeping.
Howard said they say that Star Jones ate right through her operation. Howard said he loves stories like that. Howard said he works so hard to keep the weight off. Howard said he got an Egg Plant Parmesan with sauce on the side. He said he gets a side of broccoli too. Howard said that they sent the wrong food over. He said they sent a side of shrimp and spaghetti. He said they sent over a loaf of Italian bread too. He said he looked at it and spaghetti is his Kryptonite. Howard said he could have just said fuck it and ate it. He said he opened the plastic containers and took out the egg plant parm. He said he threw the spaghetti in the garbage. Then he looked at the shrimp. He said he could have just eaten the shrimp. He said it was mixed in with the pasta. Howard said he threw the bread away. He said he made sure he can't just go back and get it so he took it out of the foil. Howard said he took the shrimp out and put it next to his eggplant parm. He took one spoon full of pasta. He said you can eat it as a garnish. Howard said he threw the rest in the garbage. Howard said he ate the eggplant parm. He said he ate the small amount of pasta. He said he felt bad throwing out that food but today he fits in his size 34 pants. He said he still looks good. Howard said that he still felt hungry last night so he ate an apple while he watched The Bachelor. He said he made a pact with himself not to eat that food.
Howard said that's why he's glad Star Jones ate through her stomach operation. He said it's not fair. He said that she has to get it under control or that's it. He said he doesn't want a magic operation that fixes it. Robin said that's ridiculous.
Robin said someone at a girls college got in trouble for calling students fat when they had some tests done. Robin said that they're saying that we can't even discuss weight now. Robin said it's like a dirty word or a bad name.
Howard said there's a story about Tom Hanks $400 million divorce. Howard said that they say that Rita has walked out after 24 years. Howard said that they say they're fighting and name calling.
Howard said they say that Bruce Jenner's new girl name in the Enquirer. Howard said that it's Belinda. Robin said she doesn't like that. Howard said he doesn't either. He said maybe Linda but not Belinda. Howard said he's transforming. Robin said that it is interesting because he's always had a difficult relationship with his sons. Robin said he has fine relationships with those girls.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Eric who told him to save the pasta for him. Robin said that's not funny. Eric said that's a waste of food. Howard said he heard that Eric has 7 PB&J sandwiches a day. Eric said he has 2 for breakfast and 2 for lunch. Howard said there are 3 more. Eric said he has one as a snack too. Howard said he has no clue how to lose weight. Eric said he has to stay energized. Robin said she can see how energized he is.
Howard asked if Eric is going to the gym tomorrow. Eric said he is. He said that the car is picking him up at 10:45am. Howard said he has a car service that takes him to his therapist. He said that the taxpayers are paying for that. Eric said that Jon should come with him. Howard said he thinks he might do that. Eric said that Jon calls him every morning to find out what he's doing every day. Howard said Jon has to watch Eric because he doesn't tell the full truth about what he's eating. He said that he'll say 2 sandwiches but he's actually eating 7.
Eric asked Howard to save that food for him. Howard said he would never do that to him. He said he's not going to save it. Eric said he hopes he has a good weekend. Howard let him go after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that life without eating pussy isn't a live worth living. Howard said life with throat cancer isn't worth living either. Howard said that they do say that the HPV thing is causing throat cancer. The caller didn't seem to think that was the case. Howard said that he's just trying to save some lives. Howard said he does wonder why he did that with a few people. He said he doesn't want throat cancer.
The caller asked Howard how many pussies he's eaten. Howard said maybe 50. Howard said not everyone is going to get throat cancer. He said that it's not affecting everyone. He said that sometimes it doesn't manifest itself until later in life. The caller asked if he would stop getting blow jobs if it hurt women. Howard said he can live without them. Howard said he loves being inside a woman. Robin asked what he would do if they said that could hurt you. Howard said he wears a rubber so he doesn't care.
The caller asked Howard about Bruce Jenner transitioning over and if it's hacky to make fun of him. Howard said absolutely. Howard said that he is going through a lot but it is fascinating. Robin said he won the gold medal and he was a vision of male fitness. The caller was only 26 and Howard said that you couldn't fathom him turning into a woman. Howard said this guy doesn't know him like that. Robin said he was such a staunch athlete and he went through so much training. Howard said he knows he can do a better interview with Bruce than Diane Sawyer can. Howard said he met with Michael Jackson and told him to go on TV to repair his image. Howard said he told Michael that and he ran with it but with someone else. Howard said that Steve Carell is going to call in after the break. He said he's going to remind him about the Oscar speech. Howard went to break after playing a prank call the guys made to Gary the Retard.
Howard said that Steve's monetary value must go up when he gets nominated for an Academy Award. Steve said he hopes so. Howard said he thinks that he could win. He said that they had a fiasco with Michael Keaton winning a lot of awards. He said that movie he's in is horrible. Steve said he liked Birdman. Howard said he hated it. He said Michael Keaton is a good actor but that movie is a shit movie. He said he's never seen a bigger piece of shit. He said that he's seen it before and it's pretentious and obnoxious. Steve didn't agree. Howard said Steve can't say it so he'll say it for him. He said it would be a travesty if he won over Steve. Steve said it's all subjective.
Howard said that Steve lost to Eddie Redmayne in the Golden Globes and the SAG awards. Howard asked Steve if he will go to some of the parties for the Oscars. Steve said they might do that. He said it might be a once in a lifetime kind of thing. Steve said he's not good at the parties though. He said he just stands there. Howard said people would be excited to talk to him. Robin said if he wins then everyone will talk to him. Steve said he'd get uncomfortable though.
Howard said one thing might hurt him. Steve asked if the performance is just too good. Howard said that might be it. Howard asked when the voting takes place. Steve said it happens over the next couple of weeks. Howard said on his web site they have a ''For your consideration'' thing for Steve. He said that it's up there now. Howard said it's a good argument. Steve said Howard is being very nice. Howard said if he were Michael Keaton he'd tell him to go fuck himself. He said Steve was great in Foxcatcher. Howard asked Steve what he's going to tell people. Steve didn't have an answer.
Howard said Keaton is in the front in the odds. He said Eddie Redmayne is up there too. He said Steve Carell is the dark horse. Howard said that he's 125 to 1 odds. Steve said he's screwed. Robin asked if he was aware of that. Steve said he was not. He was laughing as he was talking about that. Howard asked if his parents were excited over this. Steve said they were and it is really cool. Steve said that he's one of the people they called and he said he had no idea who was nominated. He said he actually watched and was a total geek about it. Howard said the other guys are the same way.
Howard asked Steve if he's seen a rise in the parts he's being offered. Steve said no. Howard asked if anything has happened. Steve said he's doing a movie with Adam McKay and he doesn't think it had to do with this. He said it's a serious movie and it's about the financial collapse in 2008. He said he thinks that Brad Pitt and Christian Bale are in it too.
Howard said that Steve has that coming up and he was slated to be in a movie about North Korea but they shit canned that. Steve said they got cold feet about that. He said he was supposed to start shooting in March but they pulled the plug. Howard said North Korea really won on that. Steve said it wasn't politically charged. He said it was good and maybe some day they'll have the guts to make it. Howard said he is shooting a film that's pro North Korea and he has no problem with that.
Howard said Steve is too kind a guy to do this. He said what he'd like to say is that all of the voters who want to vote for Michael Keaton should take a look at it again and look at Steve in Foxcatcher. Howard said that movie Birdman is a pile of shit. He said if you give it to him then it's a big mistake. Steve asked if he should trash talk too. Howard said he's at 125:1 so he should do whatever he has to. He said that he likes those odds. Howard said the vote could be split if he took votes from Keaton. Howard said he has never met a more down to earth guy than Steve. Howard said that he doesn't even like to party.
Howard asked who he sat next to at the SAG awards. Steve said he sat next to Julianne Moore. Howard asked if she's a bit of a bore. Steve said not at all. He said she's a good friend of his. Howard said she sat next to him at a diner but she turned her back on him. Howard said that Steve would have said hello at least.
Howard asked if it's important who you sit next to at those events. Steve said he thinks very little about it. He said that they have the camera right in your face and there is nothing natural about it. He said you're acting for the camera there. Howard said he knows what he means. Howard said if you're caught applauding for yourself then you're a dick. He said if you smile you're a dick. Steve said that you can't watch it again because you end up hating yourself.
Howard said that you do need to do something on camera but you never know what to do. He said he doesn't know what to do on America's Got Talent.
Howard said he would like Steve to win the Oscar. He asked if he has a speech ready. Steve said he will be ready for that. Steve said he may wing it. Howard said that's not a good idea.
Howard asked where he will put the award when he wins it. Steve said he'll put it on his desk. Howard said Steve is really good in Foxcatcher and you'll be very impressed if you see him in it. Howard said that Steve has to picture himself licking the Oscar. Steve said he will thank Howard and he will lick it if he wins. Howard said he would like him to say what he will say there. Steve said he will say that he's 100 to 1. Howard said no offense but he's 125 to 1. Steve said he's feeling like he's 100 to 1 at this point.
Howard said this conversation is having a weird impact. He said that the updated odds are now 100 to 1 according to GoldDerby.com. Howard said this conversation is working. Steve said that he's a shoe in. Howard said it's not there yet but they're getting there. Howard said he should call in every day. Howard asked Jason if Michael Keaton's odds dropped. Howard said they actually did. He's 7 to 5. Howard said the dream is coming true.
Howard asked Steve who he would like to see win the Oscar if he doesn't win. Steve said that's a hard one. He said this is going to sound like bullshit but he thinks that they were all great performances. Howard said that's the right answer. Robin asked who he would vote for. Steve said that's such a personal thing. Howard laughed. Howard said he's all tied up in knots. Steve said he's really happy to be nominated. He said it's actually great. Howard said he's really happy for him. Robin said they are pulling for him. Howard said if he gets up there and thanks them it would be so great. Howard said the odds of him banging his wife on that night are 6 to 1. Steve said he thinks he's a lock on that.
Howard asked Steve if he will yell out Baba Booey if he loses. He said maybe he can just run out of there. Howard said he's pulling for Steve. Howard said that he has gotten a bunch of nominations. Howard said Mark Ruffalo and Channing Tatum were good in the movie too. Howard said it was a great cast. Howard said he thinks he's done what he can for Steve. He said that Michael Keaton's votes should go to Steve. Howard said that his performance was not up to par and that movie was horse shit. Steve said definitely attach his name to that sentiment. Howard said with him in his corner he'll end up in jail. Howard let Steve go after that.
Howard asked how you can't pull for that guy. Howard said he likes Michael Keaton but there is no comparison with the movies. He said Steve is a guy who deserves the award. He said it's either Bradley or Steve. Robin said that's right. Howard said it is right. Howard asked if he has to take a break. Fred said that they can do that. Howard said he's sorry he didn't get the interview with Mitt Romney. He said he's not sure what happened there. Robin said he must be very relaxed.
Howard said people come down on him for saying don't eat vagina. Howard said that it could come from blow jobs. Robin said it could be on the penis you're blowing. Robin said all oral is off the menu. Howard said that's right.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jackie the Jokeman and stuttering John did a show in Las Vegas and they're still billing themselves as being from the Howard Stern Show. Howard said that the best thing to ever happen to them was being on this show. The caller said he's surprised that John didn't bill himself as being from the Tonight Show. Howard said John was barely on that show. Howard said Jackie thought he was going to go and punch up scripts in Hollywood. Howard said that never happened. Howard did his Jackie voice and goofed on him a little bit.
The caller asked what's up with John being on the stage. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he has no contact with the guy at all. Howard said he has no problem with Jackie. He said he just feels like Jackie shot himself in the foot. Howard said that he didn't want to get rid of Jackie. He tried to talk sense to him to stay on the show. Howard said Robin talked sense to him and told him to stop it. Howard said you try to save someone's life if they're going to jump off a bridge. Howard said that's like what Jackie was doing. Howard said he's a smart guy and he knows things. Howard said he knows about radio and that's it. Howard said he had to take a break after that. He did a live read and then went to break.
Howard said that George Clooney is a classy guy. Howard said that he wrote to him this morning about his win. Howard said George said that his wife says hello to him and his wife. Howard said that it was very classy of him to write. He said he wrote right back to him too. Howard said he said that he did beat him and he has had a victory over all of you handsome devils. He said he's 61 and it's a miracle. Howard said he's feeling real positive today.
Howard played another news report about his best hair win. In that one there was a female reporter saying he looks like a poodle. Howard said fuck off to that. Howard said he'd like to see her hair. Howard said that his hair is a miracle. He doesn't color it and he doesn't fatten it up with a toupee. He said that woman doesn't understand the award. Howard said people are so jealous. He said especially anchor people.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if he watched The Bachelor last night. Howard said he did. The caller said the women are out of their minds on that show. Howard said whoever cast that show is a genius. Howard said they can come work for him anytime. Howard said the Bachelor himself is probably the dumbest guy he's seen on TV. The caller said she thinks his kissing is gross. Howard said it's one after the other too. The caller said one is really gorgeous but she's got issues too. Howard said that men are turned off to that show because it's feminine or ''gay'' to watch. He said it's the greatest thing to watch with your wife. He said his wife is all over him because she's so happy she married him. Howard said that she sees what an imbecile the guy is. He said she thinks she has a prize next to her. Robin said that Howard saved her from running into that. The caller said Beth has to know she's a prize too. Howard said of course. Howard said there are so many good looking women on the show. He said that men should watch with their wives. Howard said that it makes an argument for guys who aren't that good looking. The caller said Howard is the best. Howard thanked her and let her go. Howard said JD is a catch on The Bachelor.
Robin started her news with a story about how this nation is one of the most regulated in the world. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that and how he doesn't think that people should be required to wash their hands in a restroom. Howard said that we have a lot of regulations we don't need but we have so many idiots. Robin said hand washing is very important for your health. Howard said of course it is. He said there are so many idiots out there that you have to regulate them. Howard said we have regulations for a reason. Howard said people don't want regulations around guns but you have to have some.
Robin said that they've been talking about Bruce Jenner siting down with Diane Sawyer. Robin said since Barbara Walters is gone the newt big interviewer is Diane Sawyer. Howard said he wonders why he doesn't come there.
Robin read about how Inside Edition is hiring a trnasgender person to be a correspondent. Robin said that they're hiring Chopper Bob who was known for following the OJ Simpson chase in 1994. Robin had some audio of this Zoe person being hired for Inside Edition.
Robin read a story about jogging and running and how people put themselves at risk running faster than 7 miles per hour more than a few times a week. Robin said jogging slower is better for you.
Robin read a story about some people who built a shooting range in their front yard. Robin said that the guy who set it up says that he got tired of driving to the shooting range. Officials have said he hasn't broken any rules by setting it up in his yard.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she has a son who is close to being autistic and she can't believe that people think that they are getting it from vaccines. Howard said that these people have these thoughts in their heads. Robin said that you have to think about the big picture and how many lives they're saving with them. Howard said the bottom line is that you have to get vaccinated and get your children vaccinated. Howard said people have to stop with that.
Robin read about how Lance Armstrong is in the news for hitting two parked cars and letting his girlfriend take the blame. Robin said that the police found out that Lance was in the driver's seat. Howard said no matter what vehicle he's on he has to lie. Howard said what a change with that guy. He said he was a hero but not anymore. Robin said he's a heel. Howard said he loves that the cops are able to break her down. Robin said that it was only 10 minutes later.
Robin said that some things should be legal to do when you're smoking pot. Robin said an NFL player was suspended for smoking pot. He will be suspended for one year without pay because of that. Howard said that the guy who beat up his wife was just going to get a couple game suspension. Robin said this guy has been suspended before.
Robin read a story about the Atlanta Falcons being investigated for crowd noise at the stadium. Robin said they are saying that they may have piped in crowd noise during the games. Howard said they really are good at figuring out how to win. Howard said he wishes that they could put that much effort into stopping ISIS. Howard said he's so pissed about what those guys did. He said he saw the picture in the NY Post today. He said he applauds them for doing that. He said it reminds us about what we're up against. Howard said he's not sure why we haven't taken them out yet. Howard said he's happy that Jordan is upset and saying that they're going to do something about it. Robin said that these people need to be taken out. Robin said we need to do drone attacks or something on them. Robin said she's not for sending in ground troops.
Robin read about how Robin Williams' family members are fighting over his will. Howard wondered why the will isn't clear. Robin said from what she understands Robin left his estate to his 3 children. He had a pre-nuptial agreement with the wife and she is living at the home. Robin said they're wondering if Williams left something for her so she can live there or if she has any right to that home. Robin said the wife says that the kids have removed things from the estate and the kids say they haven't done anything at all. Robin said that the wife was only married to the woman for 3 years. Howard said one of the things he learned in his life is that you have to spell everything out with money. He said people get crazy over money. Howard said you have to make provisions for your wife and kids and spell it all out.
Robin read a story about the Grammy's that are coming up soon. Robin said they are seeing spikes in sales for the nominees. Robin said she has to say that if Howard really loves her then he'll get this guy Hozier for her. Howard said she really wants to go out with him. Robin said she wants to stay in with him. She said she wants to own and possess him. Howard said he has to see what he looks like. Robin had a picture that she wanted to run over to him. Howard told her to stay put. He had Gary come in to bring it over. They played some audio of Robin singing the hit Hozier song. Howard said he hasn't seen her that lit up in a while. Robin said that's who she wants. Howard said he's on it. Howard said he's never seen Robin that turned on. Robin said that's something else right there. Howard said he should be over to her place in the morning. He said she just slipped off her chair. Fred played a loud thud sound for her sliding off her chair.
Robin read more about the Grammy's and what's going on with sales of the nominees. She mentioned Spotify and Howard wondered why Taylor Swift took her songs off there. Howard said it's the same as letting it be played on radio. Howard played a clip of Robin singing one of Taylor's songs.
Howard wondered if Hozier is his real name. Benjy looked it up and said it looks like it's a middle name or a hyphenated last name. He said his first name is Andrew. Robin read about some of the performers who will be at the Grammy's. Howard did a live commercial read a short time later.
Robin read a story about how Apple stores are installing special safes for their iWatches that are coming out in April. They don't want them being stolen ahead of time.
Robin read a story about the Jordanian pilot who was burned alive. Robin had some audio clips about that story.
Howard took a call from Wheels who asked if Robin would go on a date with a regular guy. Howard said she's been on dates with regular guys. Wheels was wondering how much it would cost to go on the date. Howard said this is a silly call. He hung up on him. Wheels was in the shower when he got on.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that call was ridiculous. He said he was in the shower. Howard said that people wonder if Ralph is gay. He said they took a picture of him into a gay bar and asked what they think of him. Howard played the clip and some gay guys were commenting saying he looks gay to them. One guy said he looks like he's dressed like Howard Stern and he'd take a dick in his ass. They also showed a picture of Benjy to them. One guy said he would run away if Benjy came up to him.
Ralph said he loves that they have Robin singing the top 5 songs. Howard said that she sang Whitney Houston. Ralph said he didn't hear that. Howard said of course not. Ralph said that Robin should sing all of the songs. Howard played the Whitney Houston song that he was talking about and Ralph laughed. He said he thinks Bobbi Kristina heard that and that's why she's having problems.
Robin read a story about American Sniper being aired in Iraq and how people were getting upset seeing the movie saying that it was all a lie. Howard said that we did go right in and shoot them up so what's a lie about it?
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why Howard blames everyone on the staff for being gay but maybe Howard should come out and admit he's gay. Howard said he's gay then. The caller said he thought he was going to be able to bust his balls more. Howard said he forced him out of the closet. The caller said it didn't go the way he wanted it to. The caller said Howard is just too good at this shit.
Robin read about the crash on the Metro North rail. Robin said a woman whose car was hit by the guardrail that came down got stuck and the train hit her Jeep. Robin said she got out of the car to check the damage caused by the gate coming down. Robin said she got hit by the train and the train derailed and 6 people lost their lives. Robin said the woman was going across the tracks and the gate came down. Robin said she got caught in the middle. Howard asked if this was terrorism. Robin said she died too. Howard said maybe it was a suicide bomber. Howard said he has seen the bells going off and you sit there and wait.
Gary said he heard a guy who was behind the woman. He said that everyone wanted to get out of the area because there was an accident. He said the woman wasn't on the tracks but she got out of her car and pulled forward into the tracks. Then 2 seconds later the train came and hit her. Gary said it sounded like she was just confused. Howard said you think you're going to be safe on the train. Gary said he takes the Metro North and he's afraid to take it now. Gary said he won't sit in the front car anymore if he does take it. Gary said the train hit the car and the third rail came up and caught the train on fire. Howard said that's awful.
Robin read about how they're going to be allowing people to start businesses on the moon. Howard said he'd like to do something up there but he's not sure what.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Howard's hair is the best. She said that Hozier is going to be on the Grammy's in March so she can go see him then. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go.
Robin read about how Adidas is putting out a new app for people to reserve limited edition shoes in stores near them. Howard said no one cares. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:00am.
Jon said that Howard won the best hair thing over a bunch of guys. He said he was voted number 1 and George Clooney sent him a congratulations. Horatio said that Howard has had it for like 30 years so he deserves it. He said he doesn't dye it either. He said they're beautiful natural locks. Jon said he is very proud of that award. He said he was gloating a bit today. Horatio said he deserves it. He said he knows from being a fat kid and a fat person that the only compliment he'd get is about his hair. He said it is an honor.
Jon said they have a poll up today about the throat cancer and HPV thing. Jon said that Howard is anti-eating pussy and Sal is pro-eating pussy so they'll have the results of that at the end of the show.
Jon asked Horatio where he stands on that. Horatio said he's all for eating it. He said he's okay going out that way if he has to. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard is right about podcasters. He said they're not broadcasting. He said it can be fun an informative but it doesn't make you a radio DJ. Jon said it doesn't but it's a different kind of broadcasting. He said it a niche kind of thing. He said that's what Benjy was trying to say. He said you put it out there and you may get an audience. He said that you will get a devoted audience and people can use that to promote other things.
Horatio said he doesn't do it to promote so much. He said he does it to do sketches. He said they just record for like 6 hours and put the best stuff in there. He said they talk about all kinds of things and it's for the comedy nerd out there. Jon said like Steve Brandano. Horatio said he hopes he's listening every week.
Jon said the SNL 40th anniversary is coming up. Horatio said he's going to be there but he could end up in the second tier. He said he hopes not but he may.
Jon said that J.B. Smoove was on yesterday talking about working on SNL. He said that he was talking about the idea that he thinks was taken from him. Horatio said that he may have gotten that from Bugs Bunny or something. Horatio said he puts stuff out there and hopes that no one else is doing it. He said he hopes he's not stealing from anyone.
Jon asked if J.B. was the king of the pitch over there. Horatio said that he was. He said he only got a few sketches on but he think Lorne really enjoyed it. He said he doesn't think J.B. had to write that much.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Mike Walker said that Howard's show is the original reality show. He said with Sal it proved that today. He said Sal comes in with what he thinks is a brilliant take on oral sex and Howard turns it into what a moron Sal is with the word ''prevalent.'' He said that it's the one and only reality show. Jon said he agrees with him. He said that he loves Sal. He said Sal comes in to announce his college and today he mentioned the high school and said he think's it's in Ronkonkoma. Jon said it just rolled from there. He said Sal has made his mark doing just that in the past. Jon played a ''Wrap Up Show Rewind'' clip of Sal asking Jason to ''put a traction in'' instead of saying ''retraction.''
Horatio said that Sal is very entertaining. He said he must not have gone to school much if he doesn't know what town it was in. He said in early shows he would say the world was flat and stuff too. He said it makes you wonder if he's mentally ill.
Jon said they also talked about folding toilet paper with Sal. Horatio said he folds. He said the worst thing to happen is that the paper tears and you get the lower layer of paper. Jon said Sal claims he never gets crap on his fingers. Horatio said that it's in the middle so he can see that happening. Jon asked how long he folds it for. Horatio said he folds a 3 foot piece and folds it until it's small. He said that's the way his mother taught him to do it. He doesn't get the wadded up ball thing. Jon said that's what he does. He said that he knows it's a waste of paper but it also keeps it from getting on his fingers.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard has been talking about all of this nasty stuff. He said he was wondering about Ronnie and Lisa G kissing and if they ever tested anyone on the show. Jon said he thinks it depends on who you're talking to. He said Sal and Richard aren't asking each other to be tested. He said he thinks Ronnie and Lisa talked about it before it happened. He said that they were both claiming they were clean and did the kiss. Jon said sometimes you shoot first and ask questions later.
Horatio said maybe those guys (Sal and Richard) don't even care. He said they've been with the same ladies for a long time. Jon said he thinks they're alright there.
Jon asked Horatio about what he thinks about Robin wanting Hozier. Horatio said that Hozier should just do it. He said you just have to when you hear that. He said he'd do it if Robin mentioned his name. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
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Jon said that every actor has to want to win. Horatio said that he thinks you have to kind of come up in the business too. He said you may not get it right away. Gary said that all of the movies are kind of bummers. He said that The Theory of Everything disintegrates too. He said that it's a real bummer.
Jon asked if there is a difference between doing comedy and drama. He said that Steve can do both. Horatio said he thinks that all comics are dark in a way so that might be easy to access. He said it might be easier for Steve to be serious than funny. He said he doesn't know but he thinks it's great for him.
Jon said Steve says he's not into the party thing. Gary said he did say that he's going to go this time. He said he has to. Gary said they're going to get the obligatory picture of him standing next to the guy who does win.
Horatio said that it has to be a lot of anxiety going in there thinking you may lose. Gary said they have J.K. Simmons thinking he may win.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's a big fan of Horatio's. He said that Horatio does a good Bill Richardson impression and he's in the news today. The caller also said that as long as we're alive we're cheating death. He said that he was thinking about the HPV thing and if you enjoy eating out women then just don't give it up. Gary asked if we shouldn't over think it and just do what we want? He said there would still be AIDS and Herpes spreading if we did that. He said you have to think about it. Jon said he gets what the guy is saying. He said he thinks Robin has always had that attitude to live life to the fullest. He said that she comes out and says it. Howard is more conservative. Jon said he thinks that Howard almost regrets eating that woman out on his coffee table. Horatio said he has a friend who gets a prostitute every year for his birthday and he uses Saran wrap every time he eats her out. Gary said if he's going to do that he could get something at the drug store that's just a few more bucks. Horatio didn't know about a dental dam. He said he has to introduce that to him.
Jon and Gary talked about the vaccination thing and the best hair win for Howard. Gary said that his mother is in a nursing home and he goes to visit. He said they have a sign up saying if you're sick then please don't come in. He said he doesn't think it's right to not get vaccinated because you have to think about everyone else around you. Horatio said he thinks if someone has bird flu you don't let them walk around. He said he thinks that everyone should get vaccinations. He said there are some who have reactions to that but it's like 1 in a million.
Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and how Blue Iris made her first appearance on the show 11 years ago today. He said they'll have that and some other stuff. Jon gave Horatio some plugs for his Hooray Show too. They ended the show around 11:40am.
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Jon said Sal insists there was nothing on his fingers but you can see it on the pictures they have on the web site. He said this toilet paper thing has gotten more feedback than anything else on the show.
Jon said they have a poll up today about whether or not they should have a college degree to work on the show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said maybe the football players didn't graduate from the colleges they mention during games. Jon said he likes it when they announce it. He said he doesn't like when they talk about their high schools and mascots and stuff. Jon said he thinks it's a funny bit to do on the show too. He said that if you're a football fan it's like a history lesson for the players. He said with Sal, Scott, Ronnie and Richard we found out they didn't go to college. Jon said Howard went to BU and graduated with a Magna Cum Laude. He said that's pretty impressive. Jon said he has mixed feelings on the college education thing. He said he met his wife there and he learned quite a bit. He said he's not sure if he would have been better off spending his 4 years in different markets learning to do things or not. Jon said he had to take a break a short time later.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said that he went to the college that Steve Langford claims he went to without graduating. He said he can't change a light bulb and none of the guys how come to his house to work on it don't have a degree. He said they do their jobs for the most part. He said that he found it odd that guys like Scott didn't know if they had a degree or not. He said that amazes him. Jon said maybe some people are embarrassed by that fact. He said maybe that's why they don't say.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that there are plenty of people out there who went right into their field and got jobs like acting. He said they didn't need college. The caller said that it helps to start out young though. He said that he was in school with Robert Downey Jr. and he didn't go to college. He said now he's the biggest guy in show business. He said he doesn't think it matters for acting. Jon said doing it professionally is a whole different ball game.
Jon said for a job like they have there it may not be about a college degree. He said it's about practical experience. He said Sal and Richard prove that day in and day out. Jon said that college is a great social boost. He said you learn a lot of things socially when you go to college. He said it's a fun thing to debate.
Jon took a call from a woman who said they're missing a big part. She said they make fun of Sal for being dumb but universities are good for being well read. Jon said that he thinks that Sal realizes that these days. He said that he's not stupid. The caller said he's not educated though. She said she has to hire people sometimes and you want them to be well rounded people. Jon said to work there you need a specific skill set. That may not come from school.
The caller said that Howard seems to eat out or order in a lot. She said that they are putting extra things in the food at restaurants. She said that he has to know that. Jon said that he thinks everyone has an idea about that. Jon said that you put yourself in a chef's hands and Howard is going to high end places that may not be putting that much extra stuff in. The caller said she thinks it may be even more stuff at the high end places. She said that's why it tastes so much better at those places. She said that it's not even in stuff that requires it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has long contended that his job a surgeon has shown him that it's more about being an apprentice than being educated. He said he's been doing this for 30 years and the reason that it's worthwhile going through all of that you are exercising a muscle which is the brain. He said an athlete is doing that with other muscles. Jon said he agrees with that philosophy. He asked if he thinks Sal is a dumb guy because he failed at it. The caller said he thinks Sal is smarter than he makes himself out to be. He said he's not sure if he's projecting that persona on the air or if they told him to do that. He said he thinks that he really isn't that dumb. The caller said he doesn't think he ended an education to do his job.
Jon said he has spent a lot of time with Sal on and off the show. He said what you hear on the air is 100 percent genuine. He said that he doesn't know who the Presidents were and he doesn't know how to say ''prevalent.'' Jon said that's what makes Sal so great. He said he's unfiltered. He said he's not putting on a character. He said that Sal is that person you hear on the air. Jon said that's what makes him one of the funniest people he's ever met in his life. He said Richard is the same way. Jon said you hear Richard as is. He said Howard can cut through all of that if you do try to put something on. He said when you walk in that room you have to be yourself or Howard will call you out on it. He said that's even more painful than being yourself. They went to break after that.
Shuli said working for Howard 100 News you have to give out your number to some Wack Packers. He said there's always something to get for the show. He said he got a call from Bobo who thinks he has terrorists tracking him. He said he thinks his number was leaked out in a hack and he thinks that it was leaked because he worked for the government. Shuli said that government job was the post office. Jon said he did have access to the mail.
Jon asked if this is a put on and is he doing it for attention. Shuli said his gut instinct is that the guy who scored an 85 on the IQ test isn't putting together a master plan like this. He said he thinks that he really thinks he is being monitored. He said he did some research on the number Bobo told him about. He said it turns out it was a Boise, Idaho area code. He said it still doesn't explain why it comes up ''Egypt'' on the phone. Jon said it could be a spoofed number. He said there are ways to get around that sort of thing. Jon said it could be coming from who knows where. Shuli said Bobo has changed some plans based on these calls. He said he will drive and not fly because of that.
Jon played a clip of some of the coverage Shuli has done about Bobo and the calls. Jon played the clip and Bobo was talking about the Egyptians calling him. Bobo said he kept these people on the phone for a few minutes and they didn't say anything to him. Jon asked if he is making a mistake saying that he knows they're terrorists.
Shuli said he has gotten calls like this before but they have never said ''Egypt'' on his phone. Jon said he's sure Bobo will talk to Howard about this. He asked if he's losing sleep over this. Shuli said he basically turns a corner and he's becoming Chuck Norris. Jon asked what he's planning on doing. Shuli told Jon to play more of the clip. Jon played more and Bobo said if he sees anyone with sparkly things on them he's going to take them out. He said they're pieces of shit. Bobo said he has to devise a plan to do something. Jon said he would love to see Bobo battle the Egyptian terrorists on the big screen.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why Howard takes Bobo's calls because they don't lead anywhere. Jon said they do lead somewhere. He said that there is a lot of material there with Bobo. He said that Howard 100 News has proven that.
Jon took a call from a guy who hung right up as soon as he picked up. Jon tried another call and the guy said he was calling about the college education thing. He said he thinks college educations are too much of an emphasis. He said we need more welders and plumbers and things like that. Jon said he thinks the bigger thing there is the cost of a college education. He said it's very expensive. He said if you weigh that against getting a job right away then sometimes it makes more sense to not do it. Jon said he would recommend a college degree but he understands anyone who wants to bypass that and get practical experience.
Jon asked Shuli if he has a school he went to. Shuli said he went to the school of hard knocks. He said he came in last place in the contest they had on the show too. Jon said that he has come in and made the show better so it shows that even that can work.
Jon had the poll results for today's poll. He said that 60 percent said no, you don't need a degree to be on the greatest radio show of all time. Shuli said that it would have been great if they had come to him the day before the Craptacular and said they can't have him on because he has no degree. Jon wrapped up the show and ended it around 11:45am.
Jon said that they have a poll up on the web site today too. He said Letterman is having Leno on his show and they're asking if Howard should have Leno on his show. Jon said they'll have the results at the end of the show. Jon said that he thinks Howard should have him on because he'd love to hear that interview. Jon said that Howard is the one who is keeping the feud going with him so he may disagree.
Jon said that Steve Carell called in and Howard was trying to get him the Oscar win for Foxcatcher. Jon said Howard didn't like Birdman but he saw it and liked it. He said he disagrees with Howard on that. Jon said they have Bradley Cooker, J.K. Simmons and more in that group. He said that they may get their first Baba Booey at the Oscars.
Jon said Howard was also voted to have the best hair so congratulations to Howard. Jon said that they have a lot to talk about today. Jon went to break a short time later.
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Jon took a call from a guy who ran down his college details like a lot of people have been doing lately. The caller said he thought the college stuff was very interesting but Howard is tough on those guys. He said the college thing isn't that important these days. He said that almost no one he works with has a 4 year degree. Jon said he thinks that if someone has a big college on their application then you may look at them differently. The caller said it depends on what you're in. He said he thinks in some areas that is the case. He said most people he knows didn't finish college. Jon said it depends on what you're going for.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she thinks it would be great if they gave High Pitch Eric a FitBit to find out how many steps he's taking every day. Jon said they're way ahead of her. He said they're already working on that. Jon said that Jon Leiberman is doing an Embedded with him as well.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has been a long time listener and he thinks Howard may be leaving after this next contract. He asked what the plan will be if he does leave. He asked if they will have a spin off show or what. Jon said there is no plan because they don't know what Howard is doing. He said that this Wrap Up thing is tough for him to do. He said that he thinks Howard's legacy will continue one way or anther. He said he's not sure what the rest of the staff is going to do. He said he thinks the rest of the staff will succeed at something.
Jon said he thinks it's time to do Howard Stern Show trivia. He said that you can't just go to Google and find the answer. He said they have people on the phone who are listening for typing. Jon said that you will have an option to have old school or new school questions. He said if you answer 3 questions correctly you will be a champion for the day and they will turn it into a whole big thing. Jon said you have 10 seconds to answer.
Jon took a call from Chris who said he will do New School trivia. Jon asked him who Howard replaced on America's Got Talent. The caller didn't remember the name.
Jon said that he needs a name. He gave him his time and moved on to Mark. Mark picked a new school question. Jon asked him what the name of Robin's latest book is. The caller didn't know the answer. Jon said they're 0 for 2 there.
Jon took a call from David who had a lousy connection so he went to Anthony next. Anthony said he wanted a new school question. Jon asked him about the 2010 staff IQ test who scored the lowest on the staff. Anthony said that Sal had a 102 so he went with that. Jon moved on to the second question which was old school. He asked what Gary's nickname on the show was before Baba Booey. Anthony asked if it was Flafla Flohi. Jon said that is not correct.
Jon took a call from Andy who said he wanted a new school trivia question. Jon asked Andy who the first ever host of Superfan Roundtable was. Andy said Mutt. Jon said that is incorrect. Jon said it another talented individual.
Jon took a call from Charles who said he wanted old school. Jon asked Charles which's country's embassy did Howard call after we bombed them in retaliation for terrorist attacks. Charles said Libya. Jon said he was correct. He asked him the second question which was who were the two contestants for the Howard Stern Craptacular in 2005. It was Joey Boots and High Pitch Eric. He got that one right too. Jon asked Charles what was the original name of Howard's 6th grade band was. Charles said he can't remember. Jon said he was so close. Jon said Charles was their best player so far.
Jon took a call from Jeremy who went with a new school question first. Jon asked him who the male comedian was that rode the Sybian after taking a Viagra. Jeremy didn't know.
Jon took a call from Rob who went with a new school question. Jon asked which celebrity fooled George Takei on the first day there. Rob said Arnold Schwarzenegger. He was right. Jon asked him who the director was on Private Parts. Rob said it was a woman by the name of... He didn't remember.
Jon took a call from Vanessa who went with new school. Jon asked who fingered Benjy. It was Perez Hilton. Jon asked her to name one of Howard's two issues when he ran for governor of New York. She said bring back the death penalty and nighttime road construction. She was right again. Jon asked Vanessa her last question which was What was the first thing that ever aired on Howard 100 and 101? Jon said it was a special. Vanessa thought it was the heartbeat. She didn't know what the first thing was. Jon put her on hold for the next round even though she didn't get it.
Jon took a call from Josh who said he thinks he can come through. Jon asked which wack packer is from Vermont. It was Big Foot. He got that right. Jon asked which comic brought Artie Lange on the show. Norm MacDonald was the right answer. Josh got that too. Jon asked Josh in what state did Sal Governale fall off the stage during a comedy show. Josh said it was Florida and he got that right. Jon said he has a winner. He said he'll be entered in the tournament of champions and he'll get a signed photo of him. Jon went to break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it's obvious that Howard isn't going to sign up with Sirius again. He said he's already done away with Howard TV. He said the show has changed and they don't have a lot of silliness and goofiness and things like that. Jon asked if Sal wiping his ass with paste isn't silly. The caller said it was but not like it used to be. He said he thinks Howard will go to TV or produce shows or movies. He said he's not busting on Gary like he used to either. He said he thinks that he's trying to protect his future too. The caller said he thinks that he'll give everyone a severance payment or something. Jon said he hears what he's saying but he doesn't think Howard is going to stop busting on Gary. He said that doesn't make the last 30 years of it go away either. Jon said he hopes Howard stays on. He said he thinks he likes being there. He said he hopes they find out soon. Jon said that he hopes Howard makes his decision sooner rather than later too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has tried calling Howard before but he can't get through. He asked how Bobo and those guys get on so much. Jon said he can explain that to him. He said Bobo calls 10 minutes before the show starts and holds for 4 hours or until Howard picks him up. He said Bobo has the advantage of being a frequent caller. He said there is no trick to getting on though. He said they all just keep calling. He said you call 888-9-ASSHOLE and you can get on.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if anyone has made a big mistake on his show and how he would handle it compared to Howard. Jon said that's tricky for him. He said if Al screwed something up if he starts laying into him then he's just being Howard. He said you don't want to be a Howard clone. He said he'll have to see how he reacts to it. He said he tries not to throw people under the bus but once in a while that may happen. He said if the trivia thing went wrong then he might have to go off on Al.
Jon said he has the poll results. He said that 64 percent of the people say Howard should have Jay Leno on the show. Howard said that would make headlines if they did do that interview. Jon said you never say no because you never know who will show up on the show. Jon wrapped up the show and got in a plug for today's Sternthology. He ended the show around 12:10pm.