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Howard started today's show talking about Jeff the Drunks appearance in California. Howard said ''Chello'' was mentioned so he's in the Chello mood. Howard said Tan Mom and Kayla Vas will also be coming in today. He said that Kayla is a transgender woman and Tan mom is Tan Mom.
Howard said he wants to say a few words about Scott Weiland since he passed away a few days ago. Howard said he was truly one of the greats. Howard said he read an article about Scott's life and he thinks that Scott wasn't given his due in the article. Howard said he remembers when Stone Temple Pilots came on the scene. He said they were around in the 90s and it was after Nirvana and Pearl Jam. Howard said they were around at the same time. Howard said they were a reaction to Glam Rock. He said they had some of that but had some grunge too. Howard said he went to an Stone Temple Pilots show and he was blown away by their stage presentation. Howard said they had a set that was like the set of a living room. He said the guys sat around like you were in their living room and it was really cool. Howard said Scott had one of the strangest voices in rock too. He said he had a growl. He said that there was a growl to his voice and a sweetness too. Howard said he was a great front man.
Fred played some of one of their appearances on his show. That was their performance of ''Vasoline.'' Howard asked Fred to play ''Plush'' next. Howard said just listen to his voice. He said Scott wrote those lyrics. He said just listen to that. He let the song play a little bit.
Howard said Scott was a sweet guy and he won everyone over when they were on the show. Howard said he's sad for him and that he's gone. Howard said he's sad that he had such a troubled life. Howard said he left behind a great body of work that will live on. Howard said Scott learned how to turn on audiences and all of that experience is gone. Howard said he gets sad thinking about that. Howard said every time he came in there he acted like everything was fine.
Howard said they once asked Scott how he got started with heroin and he thinks he enjoyed talking to them when he was in there. Howard said Scott mentioned a guy who turned him on to heroin but didn't blame the guy for it. Howard said they had a story a few years ago about Scott turning himself in to the cops when he thought they were looking at him on the street.
Howard played a clip of Scott Weiland talking about all of the records they were selling and how they had to go out to tour to make money so he didn't get any time off.
Howard played Scott performing ''Interstate Love Song. Howard said he came in with Velvet Revolver too. Howard said he thinks that Scott always enjoyed coming in there. He said he was a really nice guy. He said Benjy has his shirt off while this song plays. Robin said there's a tribute. Howard said they were a good ballsy rock band. He said he felt bad for the Deleo brothers because they had to deal with Scott's problems. Robin said they did the best they could. She said they got back together a bunch of times.
Howard said Scott was only 48 years old. Robin said they say they found cocaine in his bedroom but they still have to do toxicology on him. Howard said he listened to a few of their albums over the weekend. He said he was such a great front man. Howard said he was a great guy. He played Stone Temple Pilots performing a cover of Led Zeppelin's ''Dancing Days''. Howard said he was surprised when Scott was into Zeppelin. Howard said they just loved music. Robin said this was a great cover. Howard said he remembers them sitting there in the K-Rock studio performing the song. Howard said it may have been 1996 or so. He said it may not have been. He said he's confused.
Howard had Stone Temple Pilots performing a cover of ''Revolution'' too. Robin said you can hear that growl in that one. Howard asked if he's the best. He said that's Scott Weiland. He said he didn't use Autotune. Howard said that song isn't easy to sing either. Howard said he heard someone fucking up a John Lennon song the other night. He said Scott is so good. He said that's why Stone Temple Pilots needed him. He said those fucking drugs... He said he doesn't get why so many artists succumb to it. Robin said many artists are very sensitive.
Howard said Scott put so much energy into performing. He said he's so sorry to see him gone at the age of 48. He let ''Revolution'' play through and then went to break.
Howard said he has Dr. Ben Carson on the phone. Howard talked to the fake Ben Carson about how well he was doing against Trump in the polls. Carson said he thinks that people will respond to his electric message. Howard asked Ben about going to Jordan and what he saw there. Carson said he saw people living in tents over there. Then he corrected himself and said that's actually his staff in 2 weeks when Howard retires. Carson talked about how he'd give the refugee camp a positive review on Yelp.
Howard asked Carson about what he would do if he was elected. Carson said he would move to Canada. He said if they elect him then this country is fucked. Howard asked about his low energy. Carson said all he can say is... and then he started to snore. Carson also spoke in tongues and said that Trump can suck his dick.
Howard asked Carson about his strategy for Iraq. Carson said he would put boots on the ground. Howard asked when the troops would go. Carson said no troops but they'd actually be dropping actual boots down from high above. He said if you get hit by a Timberland boot it really hurts.
Howard asked how he gets ready for Christmas. Carson said that he spray paints the Jesus' in his neighborhood black. Howard asked about his painting hanging in his home with him and a black Jesus. Carson said in his guest bathroom he has a pen and ink rendering of Jesus tea bagging him in the moonlight too. Howard asked about the Black Jesus. Carson said that it's black as night. He started to put himself to sleep and yawned in the middle of that.
Howard asked more about the Syrian people and what it was like to visit the refugee camp. Carson said they gave him a great gift of a vest. He said it was ticking. Then it blew up and the phone went dead. Howard said he hasn't heard entertainment like that since the Jeff the Drunk show in L.A.
Howard said he got a lot of email about Robin singing. Howard said people love it. Howard said he has a phony phone call incorporating Robin's singing. Howard read some of the email about her singing and how much some people love it. Howard said they want more. Howard played the prank call they made to a musician and asked her if she would play with his wife. Then they put Robin on the line and have her singing. The woman on the phone said it would take a while for her to learn that style of music. The woman was asked to play the French National Anthem and they had Robin singing along to that. Then the woman would start talking and the guys would play Robin singing over her. She eventually hung up. They called her back with Robin singing again.
Robin said she didn't have a problem with her singing, it was just her interrupting. Howard said that woman was really angling to get away from her. Robin said she could have just said no.
Howard asked Memet to tell them what happened with that. Memet asked if anyone even cares. Howard said he thinks so. Memet said he thinks he was catfished. Howard asked what happened. Memet said someone did a Google search and they found out it was a fake profile. Memet said he was so depressed when he found out he fell for it. Howard said Memet sent a dick pic to her. Memet said that was a joke. Then he said he actually did. Howard asked if he went to college. Memet said he didn't think he was this stupid. Howard said it's a sad thing when you realize you're that stupid. Memet said there are so many assholes back there who are loving every second of this. Howard said Memet has gotten laid before from Tinder. Memet said this was through Facebook.
Memet said this girl had a whole life set up that went back years. Howard said that this guy who set this up may have been a gay guy. Memet said he prays it goes away. He said they goaded him into saying the most vile shit. Memet said that she'd say dirty stuff and he'd talk back. Howard said a girl that hot isn't into that kind of stuff. Howard said the girls don't want to see your dick either. Memet said he just wanted to believe so badly. He said he thought it was strange. He said that she did ask to see the dick pic. Howard said he hopes he was smart enough not to put his face in there. Memet said he would never put his face in it. Howard said he would love to know who did it. Memet said he hopes it's not someone who listens to the show.
Howard said when computers first started catching on he went on Prodigy and had sex talk and it turned out to be a dude. Howard said he didn't care though. Memet said that he had someone email him asking if it was the same girl when they did a Google search. He said it was horrible when he found out.
Howard said Memet has gotten laid on Tinder so one burn after all of that isn't so bad. Howard said that girl is just way too good looking though. Howard said he had a feeling it was a hoax. Memet said he wants to find that girl in the pictures. Howard said some guy is jacking off to a picture of his cock. Memet said he doesn't think so. Robin said it would have been funny if he went 5 hours to find that girl. Howard said Ronnie told him not to go. He said he was ready to get on a bus and go visit her. Howard said Ronnie saved him. Memet said that Ronnie has fallen for this before too.
Ronnie came in and said that he told Memet not to go when he found out where he was going. Ronnie said he fell for that once when Captain Janks did it to him. He said he fell for it as a woman who wanted to be Hot Chick of the Week.
Howard took a call from the ''woman'' who wanted to go out with Memet. It was a guy with a really deep voice and a horrible phone connection. Howard spent a few seconds with that guy and then let him go.
Ronnie said on Wednesday Memet didn't want to tell anyone what was going on. He said he totally shut down. Ronnie said he was in the hall with his head against the wall. He said he asked him what was wrong and Memet told him it was nothing. Howard said he is pretty stupid. Howard asked where he went to college. Memet said he went to UNC. Howard said he must not have had very good SAT scores. Memet said they were average. He said he wasn't really trying. Howard said he's sure that he would score the same even if he tried.
Memet said the guys in the back would have all fallen for this too. He said she had a whole life on Facebook. He said someone faked it for years. Howard told Memet to check in with them on anything he does. Howard said he would love to read the exchange between him and some dude. Ronnie said he was so into this too. Howard said guys know how to fantasize better than girls do. Ronnie said that girl was so hot. He asked why she'd be home alone upstate without a guy. Memet said it has happened. He said he has met women who are hot in the city. Memet said that this person really wanted naked pictures of him. Howard asked how many he sent. Memet said it may have been more than one. He said he may have sent some of his face but not in the same picture with his cock.
Howard asked what kind of pictures he took of his cock. Memet said it was from the top down. Howard asked if he put his hand on it. Memet said he tried to get a cool pose. Howard asked if his balls were in it too. Memet said they weren't since it was top down. Howard asked if he had a nice background. Memet said it was his bed or something.
Howard asked if he did a cum shot. Memet said no. Howard said it looks like he did. Memet said let his mistake be a lesson to people out there. Memet said if you do take a picture of your cock do it from the top down. He said the bottom of the penis is really ugly.
Howard said that there is a real girl out there who looks that good. Ronnie said she's probably in South Beach or somewhere. Howard said he's thinking that this person was a dude. Robin said she thinks it's Sal. Memet said the conversations were pretty intense. Howard said that if it can happen to Memet then it can happen to you... if you're retarded. Howard said most people know better than to send a dick pic. Howard told Memet to relax. He just made a mistake. Howard let him go and Fred played him out with Steve Miller's ''Gangster Of Love'' song. Howard said this girl was perfect. He said she was a real wet dream.
Howard asked Sal about the Memet thing. Sal said that he used to go into lesbian chat rooms and dim the lights to check out women. He said that's how you get women.
Howard asked Sal about that prank call. Sal said it's still in the works so they'll have that soon. Howard said that they have Tan Mom and Kayla Vas coming in soon.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Memet looks like a 16 year old kid. She said that you can sell him the Brooklyn bridge. She said that it's crazy that he's sending out pictures of his penis. Howard said he says he'll be smarter about that.
Mariann said that there are just 6 more shows. Howard said it seems like 6 too many. Mariann also brought up Nick Cannon and asked if Robin saw his movie yet. Robin said she has not.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that he saw Chi-Raq and it was a good movie but his thing with Nick is that he can't pull of that thug stuff. He said he's not sure wheat it is about him but he can't do it. Howard said he's criticizing the movie because he's doing the dolly shot? King said he does the shots where the camera moves around the people as they're moving. Howard said he doesn't know about that. Robin said it's in practically all of his movies. king said he has to stop it. Robin said that the person stands still and the camera moves and the background changes. Howard said he didn't know that. Robin said that's his shot. King said he and his friend looked at each other and said ''Yo! This shit again?'' He said they were about 45 minutes in and talking about how there they go with that bullshit again. Howard said now Spike will be mad at him for what King is saying.
King said he loves Nick but he can't act like a thug. He said that he just can't do it. Howard said that's just his opinion. King said his opinion is everyone's opinion. Howard thanked him for the movie review.
King told Howard what he should do with his career. He said he should retire. Howard said he knows. King said the other people have to do what they gotta do. He said they'll be alright. Howard thanked him for that.
Howard said he and Robin went to Don Buchwald's brother's funeral over the weekend. Howard said Charles Buchwald was really involved in stuff. Robin said he really was and he'd go to so many meetings to hear people argue about nothing. Howard said he and Robin don't do anything for anyone. Robin said she found it odd that he found that stuff interesting and fascinating. Howard said he has to take a break. He said he has to talk about Jeff the Drunk but he has Tan Mom and Kayla coming in next. He said they have a boxing match coming up soon. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he has Tan Mom and Kayla coming in but he's going to bring in Kayla first. Howard said once Tan Mom gets in there all hell will break loose. Howard said that Kayla and Tan Mom will be fighting and Damon Feldman is the one putting on this fight.
Howard said that Kayla has a mini-skirt and boots on today. Howard said he doesn't remember Damon being this big. Damon said that he put on a few for him. Howard said Damon puts on these celebrity fights. He asked if he's making any money. Damon said he's working on it. He said that he hasn't made big money yet. He said that his big one was George Zimmerman and DMX but that fell through.
Howard said that Kayla was born a man and he was a Marine. Kayla said she still has a penis but no balls. She said that she's like a bad road still under construction. Howard asked if she has tits. She said she has B-cups. She showed them to Howard. Howard thanked her for that. She said that they're her own and not implants. Howard asked if she can have an orgasm. She said she can. She said she rubs her dick like a clit. She said that she also has guys who will blow her. She said she doesn't drink man milk when she blows people. Howard had a hard time hearing that ''man milk'' comment.
Howard asked if Kayla is with men. She said she is and some of them are married and leave their wives. Howard said that Kayla was a cop in South Jersey too. Howard said she was also on the Kidd Chris show a lot. Kayla said she was. She said she would do crazy stuff on the show. She said that they did all kinds of creepy stuff.
Howard asked if this is a fair match for Tan Mom. Kayla said that she doesn't have testosterone anymore. Howard said she's still a big person. He said she's very powerful. Damon said that Tan Mom is training though. Howard said Kayla has professional training though. Damon said that Tan Mom has been training. He said that Kayla is the most interesting one who came forward to fight her.
Howard asked Kayla when she knew she wanted to be a woman. Kayla said that she knew when she was 5. She said that she tried to cut off her penis with nail clippers when she was 5.
Howard asked Kayla about Caitlyn Jenner and what she thinks about her. Kayla said that she's all about herself and she doesn't think that's right. Kayla said that you should be more informative about that stuff than Caitlyn is. Howard asked if she would fight Caitlyn. Kayla said she would. Damon said they want to get Chyna the wrestler to fight the winner of this fight. Howard said that he thinks Tan Mom is going to get killed in this fight. Damon said that Tan Mom has strength.
Howard asked if Kayla was fired from the police for being Transgender. Kayla said that she was asked to leave and asked not to mention them.
Howard asked Damon if Tan Mom is going to get killed. Damon said he doesn't think so. He said she's been training for 3 months now. Robin asked if they're going to be wearing safety gear. Damon said if course they will. He said they'll be using 24 oz gloves.
Howard said Tan Mom had another fight and she got her ass beat. Damon said that she can't drink this time or she'll get fined. Howard asked if Kayla is getting paid for this. Kayla said of course she is. Damon said when Howard comes on board they'll make money. Howard didn't sound interested.
Howard had the guys bring in Tan Mom. Howard said that Tan Mom is going to get her ass beat. He said she lost her head gear last time. Howard asked what she's going to do against a person who was born a man. Howard asked what her thoughts are on that. Tan Mom said that she fought MILF Mom last time. She said the fans were in the ring and her gloves weren't on properly. She said her head gear wasn't either.
Howard asked why Tan Mom is fighting. Tan Mom said it's just working out again and she likes being out there having fun and stuff like that. She said this is a bit much. Howard said this is an ex-marine. Howard asked if she has ever seen her up close. Tan Mom said unfortunately. Kayla started to bad mouth Tan Mom. Tan Mom said she's not there to argue with her. Kayla said that Tan Mom called her a ''he-she'' on Twitter. Tan Mom said she thinks she's disgusting. Howard said that Tan Mom doesn't like transgender. Tan Mom said she finds it a bit odd. Howard said he thought she was more accepting of that community. Tan Mom said she thinks this person is disgusting.
Howard said Tan Mom is very mellow today. Tan Mom said she has changed her ways. Howard asked if she's training with a Stallone. Tan Mom said she used to box with one but now she's training with Al Cole. She said the pictures are on Twitter. She said he's teaching her how to box. She said she's working out every day.
Damon said they need a referee for the fight. He suggested Shuli. Howard said he sure knows how to come into this with nothing.
Howard asked Tan Mom if she thinks she's going to knock out Kayla. Tan Mom said that she is training and she's really healthy. She said she's working out a lot more.
Tan Mom refused to say Kayla's name. Kayla told her to go ''ride the tart cart.'' She said that she's going to call her Tampon instead of Tan Mom from now on. Howard said Damon is having some career with these two. Tan Mom and Kayla went back and forth arguing. Tan Mom was remaining pretty mellow.
Howard said Sal wants to say something. Sal came in and said that Tan Mom has to step it up and give it to her. Tan Mom said they're going to fight in the ring and that's all. Sal said she has no spirit and she has no drive. Howard said she won't even look Kayla in the eye. Tan Mom said that whatever it is she's disgusting. She said she's like a huge man with makeup on. Sal said he's a man with makeup on too.
Howard said he knows Tan Mom loves Sal but her husband is there. Howard said he can't figure out why she's till married to him. Howard said that's what he has to find out about. Tan Mom said that she and Sal are just friends. She said she and Richard just have kids together. Howard asked what's going on with them. Tan Mom said they're almost divorced but they're together because of the kids. She said that Richard stays on the 5th floor of her home. Howard asked if she has a home with 5 floors. Sal said she has 2 but thinks it's 5.
Damon asked what fight Howard would like to see. Howard told him not to worry about him. Howard asked Sal who has better breasts. Sal said Tan Mom. He said that Kayla has a nicer cock. Damon kept throwing in plugs for the fight and for people involved with it.
Howard asked if Tan Mom is still calling Sal every day. Tan Mom said she still loves Sal and she's trying to get through to him. Sal said that she's saying ''we'' but there is no we.
Howard said these two ladies are going to go at it later this month. Howard said that Tan Mom is taking every bit of Kayla's shit today. Tan Mom said she really doesn't give a damn. Howard said that Tan Mom looks like she is training. He said she has a cap on that looks like something a boxer would wear. Kayla and Tan Mom argued for a few more seconds about hair extensions and breast implants. Tan Mom asked Howard go et this maggot out of there. Kayla called her a sea hag about 15 times during the interview.
Howard said as a man he wouldn't even pick on Kayla. Tan Mom asked Howard to wrap it up. Howard said he just wants to say one last thing.
Howard asked Kayla what her strategy is in the ring. Kayla said her grandfather taught her one thing and that's not to let the left hand know what the right hand is doing. Tan Mom asked if her grandpa told him not to take his fucking balls off. Kayla was bragging about her hair being real. Tan Mom asked Howard to wrap it up.
Howard asked Tan Mom what her strategy is. Tan Mom said she is going to go into the ring and do this. She said she came in there today in peace. Kayla said she will dominate her. Howard asked what the strategy is. Tan Mom said she is learning everything but she's not perfect yet. She said whatever happens will happen.
Tan Mom and Kayla kept arguing and it sounded like they were about to go at it. Howard said that this seems like a real fight. Howard asked if Tan Mom will punch her in the penis. Tan Mom said she will knock her dick out. Howard asked the girls to calm down. Tan Mom said that this isn't a girl.
Howard tried to wrap things up but the girls were still going at it. They were arguing about being parents and Tan Mom said that Kayla can't even have kids. Kayla said she has a son already. Howard said he has to end this with a song. Howard played a song parody about Tan Mom.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said that Tan Mom is winning this fight today. He said that she's kind of mellow but this other dude is just rambling. Howard said there have been a lot of angry words but you have to get worked up. Howard asked Tan Mom if her son wanted to be a girl what would she say. Tan Mom said it won't happen. She said that her son plays football. Tan Mom said it won't happen. Kayla said she used to play football too. He asked why Tan Mom's parents didn't throw her into a wood chipper.
Ralph asked who is hotter, Kayla or Tan Mom. Kayla said she has nicer legs than Tan Mom. They were talking about hair extensions too. Damon said he wants Howard to come to the event. Howard asked what the chances are that will happen. Damon said he wants to make it happen. Howard found out that Tan Mom is 125 pounds and Damon said that Kayla has to weigh 140 for the fight. Howard asked what she weighs. Kayla said she's 175. Howard laughed. Kayla said at least she's honest. Tan Mom said she doesn't have to weigh herself because she's beautiful. Kayla asked if she has fun house mirrors in her house.
Howard asked Tan Mom to say one nice thing about Kayla. Tan Mom said she has no comment. Howard said there has to be something. Tan Mom said it's a guy. Howard asked Kayla to find one nice thing about Tan Mom. Kayla said she has nice dentures. Howard said that's nice. Howard asked Tan Mom if she has anything to say. Tan Mom said she doesn't have dentures. She said she has nothing to say. She said she finds Kayla ugly. Howard asked if Tan Mom is going to be sober for the fight. Tan Mom said she is. She said all Kayla did was insult her the whole time. The two of them were going at it again but Tan Mom was trying to remain calm. Kayla said she's from South Philly and that's how they roll there.
Howard gave the girls some more plugs and wrapped up the interview. Howard got in some more plugs and tried to end it. Howard asked if Kayla is going to wear a jock strap in the fight. Kayla said that she can push her cock right in. Tan Mom told Howard to get her out of there right now. Howard said this is fight promotion. Howard said he saw no evidence of a cock. He said he's not sure what he just saw. Tan Mom said she doesn't want to fight. She said she's trying to control herself right now. Sal told Tan Mom to show her cock now.
Howard said he didn't see a cock down there on Kayla. Howard asked if Robin saw that. Robin said she didn't look. Howard said she has to look. He said she's the closest they have to a doctor there. Howard gave them some more plugs and ended the interview. Ralph said he loves that Damon thinks that Howard is going to show up to the right. Howard said he is worried that Tan Mom is going to end up in a coma. Damon said she'll be fine.
Howard took a call from Mariann who told Tan Mom to represent the Wack Pack and make chump meat out of Kayla. Damon said that they're going to get Chyna to box the winner of this fight. Howard said lets just get through this one first.
Howard asked to see some shadow boxing from Kayla and then from Tan Mom. Howard had Tan Mom do that too. Howard said Tan Mom has to calm down. Kayla said he's sure if he threw lemon juice on Tan Mom that her tan would run. Sal said the shadow almost beat the shit out of Tan Mom. Howard told Tan Mom to be careful in the ring. Kayla said she's going to beat the shit out of her. Damon asked who can be a referee. Howard said he's really annoying with that. Howard told him to go get one himself. Damon said he wants Howard to get him one.
Kayla said something about Tan Mom's husband and Tan Mom got pissed. Kayla said that her husband has no balls. Tan Mom got pissed about that. Howard said Tan Mom is going to get her ass kicked. Howard asked Ronnie what he thinks. Ronnie said that she can get hurt, just look at the size of him... or her. Howard said that he has to talk some sense to her. Tan Mom said she's been training for 2 weeks and the fight is next week.
Tan Mom said that she got beat up when she was 23 and they had to rebuild her whole face. She has plates in her head because of that. Howard asked what she saw when she almost died. Tan Mom said she did see a light. Robin said that the lights were on so that's what she saw. Tan Mom said she loves Robin.
Howard said there's too much pandemonium going on in there. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard said he has to talk about Jeff the Drunk. He said he flew out to California and they have a guy who was out there at Jeff's show. Howard said Jeff is back at home now. Howard said he has tape of Jeff's show. Howard said some of the fans were upset with the event because they found it boring.
Gary brought in Rich, Tan Mom's husband. Howard said he seems like such a normal guy. Rich said that Patricia is very dramatic and he's used to that. Howard said he understands there is no sex in the marriage. Rich said there is some. He said the last time was probably 2 weeks ago. Howard said it's not as bad as she makes it out to be. Rich said she's very dramatic that way. Robin asked if it's on the brink of divorce. Rich said it's not as bad as it was a couple of years ago.
Gary said Patricia is out there yelling that he's lying. Howard said bring her in then. He said he didn't want to get into it but he had Gary bring her in anyway. Rich said he's still in love with Patricia.
Howard asked Tan Mom why she's yelling that he's lying. Tan Mom said that the story about sex 2 weeks ago is not true. She said over the last few years they've maybe been together 2 or 3 times. She said she doesn't even sleep with him in bed. Howard asked how there can be a difference of opinion there. Rich said that they have had sex more than 2 or 3 times. Patricia said that he doesn't even sleep in her bed. Robin asked if they had sex 2 weeks ago. Tan Mom said no. Robin asked when they had sex last. Tan Mom said 6 months ago. She said it sucked too.
Howard asked if Rich had an orgasm. Rich said he did but Tan Mom never does. Tan Mom said she doesn't sit with him or eat with him. She said he's a great guy but she isn't with him. Howard said it sounds like it's okay when he talks to Rich. Rich said it's not really okay but they do live together. Tan Mom said that things were better when he made a lot of money. Rich said he lost his job so he's doing other things right now. Tan Mom said he worked at another company for 30 years and made millions. She said she wants that money. She said she stood by him when he lost it. She said it's a huge issue. She said that's what everyone divorces over.
Howard asked if she would orgasm again if he started making money again. Rich said yes but Tan Mom said no. Tan Mom said that she doesn't want to be with him either way now. Howard said he thinks that Tan Mom should give him something. He said they are still married. Tan Mom said ''Eww!'' She said that football is on tonight so she's not going to do anything. Howard said this is fascinating to him. He said most guys would want out and find another woman.
Tan Mom said Rich is so annoying. She said he's checking her phone and telling her what to spend. Howard said he must be jealous. Rich said he's really not. Howard said maybe he's putting on an act. Rich said that he doesn't follow her around. Tan Mom said that he listens to her talking on the phone. Rich said she talks so loud he can't avoid it. Howard asked if she wants Rich out of the house. Tan Mom said yes. Rich asked if she would cuddle with her. She said she has to go shopping. Howard asked her to just cuddle with him. Tan Mom laughed. Howard asked when they last tongue kissed. Rich said it was a couple of weeks ago. Tan Mom said the sex sucks. She said he doesn't drink either. She said his dick is like a mushroom. She said it sucks. She said she fakes it with him. Howard asked if she has to use lube. Tan Mom said she just tells him to get it over with. Howard asked if he ever gives her anal. She said she doesn't do anal.
Howard asked Tan Mom to just give him a hug and a kiss tonight. She asked how much he's going to pay her. Tan Mom said she charges him to have sex. Howard asked if she likes rough sex. Tan Mom said she likes kindness. Howard asked if she wants him to take control and flip her around. Tan Mom said she's not that kind of girl. She said she isn't into oral for herself. She said he did it a long time ago.
Howard asked Rich why he doesn't find another woman. Rich said that's what she says to him too. Howard said it's all very confusing to him. He said he doesn't understand what's going on. Gary asked Patricia how she'd function if she didn't have Rich. Tan Mom said he has done it all her life. She said she doesn't need a guy in her life to make it happen. She said that a girl likes to be treated like a lady. She said she would make it without him. Howard said if he were Rich he'd find a hot girlfriend and make her jealous. Rich said that wouldn't be a good idea. Rich said he doesn't have girls coming on to him like she has guys coming on to her.
Howard asked if fame has gone to Tan Mom's head. Tan Mom said she has been modeling all her life and she has done so many things. She said men do find her attractive. She said there is something just a little different about her. She said she likes to have fun. Howard said he'd suggest to Rich that he get out of this marriage. Howard asked if Tan Mom was upset that he lost his hair. Tan Mom said she shaved his head actually. She said his mom thought he'd look better with a wig on but she took it off and threw it out the window during a drive to Atlantic City.
Howard asked Tan Mom if she wants him to shave his bush and things like that. Tan Mom said yes. She said that it's a big bush. Howard said he should shave it and cuddle with her to see what happens. Tan Mom said it's gross. Howard asked if they talk about this in front of the kids. Tan Mom said no and asked if he was crazy.
Howard thanked Tan Mom and Rich for coming in. Howard said that they can give him an update after they cuddle. Tan Mom said she loves them as she was saying goodbye.
Howard had Fake Tan Mom (Shuli) on the phone. He said he was going to go to him but this was too good. Howard said next time he'll put him through. Howard said he should take a break and get to Jeff the Drunk and some Wolfie stuff. He said Melrose Larry Green also wants to say he's not a racist. Howard picked up on Melrose who said he was mesmerized by Tan Mom and Kayla. He said he loves cops and he's sorry he used the N-word last week. Howard thanked him and let him go.
Keith said Jeff wasn't able to recognize his luggage in the luggage carousel. Howard said he heard he didn't shower for 2 days before the event. Keith said that's right. Howard asked how they knew that. Jeff said fuck you guys. He said this is fucking bullshit. Howard asked if he showered or not. Jeff said he didn't. He said the plane was delayed. Howard asked what that has to do with showering. Jeff said when he was supposed to leave he had to stay in a hotel room. Howard asked if he had a shower in there. Jeff said he did but he didn't want to put dirty clothes in his suitcase. Howard said if you're on a plane you have to clean yourself. Jeff said he did wash up before the show.
Howard said they say that his neck was so fat and sweaty that it took 3 guys to button the top button on his shirt. Jeff said he has a fat neck. Howard said there were a bunch of dogs walking around the event too. Keith said that there were random dogs walking around in this nice place. Jeff said all they're doing is talking shit about him. He said ''fuck you!'' and hung up.
Howard said on the phone is The Lump. Howard said Jeff hung up on him. Howard said he was recapping and Jeff hung up. The Lump said that a bunch of people showed up and got bored. That's the recap.
Howard said that Jeff was 20 minutes late to his own event. Keith said it started 20 minutes late and ended 40 minutes early. He also took a smoke break in the middle of it. The Lump said that Jeff's watch fell off his dead arm so that's why he lost track of time.
Keith said that Jeff never cooked. He had sweat on his face at all times. Keith said that he started to make brownies but he never finished. He started to mix the stuff but stopped. Howard said that he's curious about all of this. Gary said they're trying to get Jeff back not he phone. The Lump said that even Jeff doesn't want to hear about this awful show.
Howard said that Jeff didn't sign the head shots that he was supposed to. They tried to sell Jeff the Drunk mugs at the event. Howard said some people were thrown out of the event. Keith said one person left after like 5 minutes and then his wife left a few minutes later. Howard said he wanted to talk to Jeff more about this.
The Lump said that his lines don't have the same impact as they do when Jeff is on the phone. Howard got Jeff back on the line and asked if he has calmed down. Jeff said that Jillian put a lot to time and effort into this. Howard asked who Jillian is. Jeff said she's the one who put together his web site and all of this stuff.
Howard asked Jeff why he didn't cook the brownies. Jeff said it was just a demonstration. Howard said 2 people asked for a refund 10 minutes in. Jeff said that's bullshit. He said he was laughing uncontrollably and he kicked him out. He said he was laughing at him and not with him.
Howard got Jillian on the phone and asked if she's Jeff's helper. Jillian said she is. Howard said that he has too many people on the phone to deal with her so he hung up on her. Howard said that Jeff showed up to the show unprepared. Howard had a clip of Jeff being introduced to the crowd. Jeff started off with a song and Jeff wasn't really prepared for all of that. Jeff said hello to the crowd again and wasn't doing much of anything. Keith said they'd break in every 2 songs to take questions. He said at one point someone asked if Jeff would cough for them and Jeff said no.
Howard played Jeff singing a Chello song. Howard asked Jeff if he finds this entertaining to people. He said it's a horribly put together show. Jeff said everyone who was there had a good time. Keith said that's not true.
Howard said he has some interviews with people after the show. Howard played a clip of some people commenting on the show and how Jeff was pandering to the Periscope people while they paid and came there. The guy said that The Lump is way more entertaining. He was also happy that the show ended 40 minutes early. Jeff said that's probably the douche bag that he kicked out. Howard said it wasn't.
Howard said he has some audio of a Q and A they did with Jeff. Howard played a clip and people were asking if he misses The Lump. Jeff said that The Lump can suck his dick. Jeff was also asked about Donald Trump and his hair. Howard said this reminds him of the scene in King Kong where the crowd is staring at him and he gets angry.
Howard said Jeff went into this long, boring story about how he started on Periscope. Howard said this just didn't go well. Howard played a clip of Jeff talking about how he got started on Periscope. Jeff was complaining about how Howard was going to give him his iPad and then at the last second he changed his mind. Jeff said a sponsor gave him the iPad and he downloaded Periscope and then one night he saw Billy Joel and the Rolling Stones live on Periscope. He said he started singing and talking on his Periscope. Howard said that's what it would be like if he couldn't hang up on Jeff. The Lump said even crickets didn't show up to the show.
Howard said Shuli and the guys hid a boom box in the show so they could have The Lump call in. Howard played a clip where Jeff was doing his thing and then The Lump interrupts the show. Jeff didn't know where he was. The Lump said that he was on his body. Howard said you can't understand Jeff or anybody. Keith said one guy said that the only joy he got was petting one of the stray dogs there at the show. Howard said he has a ton of clips but he's not sure anyone wants to hear it. Howard said he has audio of Jeff kicking out a couple. Howard said he didn't like their laughing. Jeff said he was laughing at him. Howard said Jeff isn't a funny guy. Howard played the clip of Jeff kicking the guy out. In the clip the couple was laughing so Jeff asked what was so funny. He told them they should leave because they're being fuck faces. He had them kicked out. Howard said now it's getting sad.
Howard said that's an evening with Jeff the Drunk. Howard said he has a ton of tape but he's not sure if he should play more. Keith said it was such a boring show. Howard said he has Jeff mixing brownie mix at the show. He played some of that audio and he was using a mixer and not saying much of anything. Howard said he barely talks.
Keith said he was Periscoping the whole time and he was looking at his iPad a foot away from him. Howard asked Jeff if that's true. Jeff said the concept of the whole show was to do his show from his house but at this place. Howard said he's vibing on that. Robin asked if they made that clear to the audience. Jeff said he did. Howard said Jeff didn't even bake the brownies. He said he heard that he was sweating into the mix though.
Howard said that they asked Jeff how things were going halfway through the show. Howard played that audio where Jeff thought that he was at a 7 on a scale of 10. He thought The Lump ruined the show. Keith said that's the only time people laughed. The Lump asked if he's taking this shitty show on the road again. Jeff said probably.
Howard played more of Jeff singing karaoke. Howard asked if he thinks that's good. Jeff said it's fucking awesome. Howard said the fact that there was any audience by the end of the show is amazing. Keith said they got out of there pretty quick. He said they were sitting there waiting for him to show up and take a cigarette break. He said then they ended it 40 minutes early. Keith said he was barely able to get any interviews done because they all rushed out so quick.
The Lump said that Keith did a great job with this. He said next year they're going to send him to watch moss grow on a rock. Keith said that Jillian was super sweet. Robin asked if she was happy with the outcome. Keith said he thinks so. Jeff said that no matter what they say things went good. Howard said he heard Jeff threw the speaker across the room when he found the one that Shuli put in there. The Lump said the only thing more dead than the audience was Jeff's arm.
Howard thanked Keith for covering the show and thanked Jeff for doing it. The Lump thanked Jeff for staying awake during this. Jeff told him to shut the fuck up. The Lump said Jeff sweat so much out there that the California drought is over. He said they burned the plane he flew out there on because it was so gross. The Lump told Jeff to get angry and yell or something. Jeff just hung up.
Howard said he spent enough time on that. Howard had a hard time hanging up on everyone. Gary asked if he needed a hand. Howard said he can handle it. Howard said all of those clips were boring. He said that's what they had to sit through. Robin said she hopes that they all think they didn't waste their lives with that. Howard said he would never go to watch that kind of thing.
Howard played a new prank call the guys made to a pizzeria. In that one they had a guy calling to place and order for the holidays and he was singing his order to the tune of ''The Twelve Days of Christmas.'' The guy kept going and the woman said she wasn't able to keep up. She asked him to sing it over for her. They eventually had her singing the order back with him. She asked him to come pick it up and the guy says he doesn't have any legs. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said he wants to thank Whitney Cummings for being on Undateable and yelling out ''Baba Booey.'' Howard said he didn't know they did the show live. Howard said it's half ad-libbed and half scripted. Howard said that Beth texted Whitney that they were watching her on TV and Whitney told them that she was live and she said she'd yell out ''Baba Booey'' and she did it. Howard said he's finally watching ''Jessica Jones'' and he's into it now. He said that he's two episodes in.
Howard said he was talking to his mom about Dancing with the Stars the other night. Howard said he spent some time talking to her and he could tell she didn't want to hang up. Howard said he was trying to say goodbye but she asked what else he had. Howard said he brought up Dancing with the Stars and his mom said they stopped watching it. He went into his impression of his mother telling him its enough with that show. She was saying that they have 15 year olds competing with 60 year olds on that show. Howard said he isn't watching the show either. Howard said his mother told him that they quit cold turkey.
Howard said that his father can't hear the calls in square dancing anymore so they don't do that either. Howard said that his mother was saying that everything is too noisy too so they cant hear things. Howard said that his parents go to a restaurant and they had music playing there and his mother was beside herself. Howard said they had a buffet there and live music. He said that she didn't know who could sit with that. Howard said she complained about how loud it was. Howard said he asked her if she thinks anyone could enjoy it. He said she wondered who could do such a thing and how they can have conversation while that music is playing.
Howard stayed in character with his mother for a few more minutes. Robin wanted to know what else they watch. Howard said don't ask. He said he won't ask. He said they loved Seinfeld. Howard said if you ask his father if he watches a show that he doesn't watch he'll freak out and say ''No! Who told you that?''
Robin said she was in a diner and Pat Cooper walked in. Robin said he stopped and talked to her but he didn't recognize her. She said that he has a show he dos when he goes to the table. She said that he pretends he can't hear but he really can't hear. She said that Pat was talking about how things were different when they were young. She said that Pat was on the phone talking loud with someone who was supposed to meet her. Robin said she found it odd that he didn't even recognize her. Robin said before she left she asked if he recognized her. Pat said ''What?'' like he didn't hear. Robin said that she told him who she is and Pat was like ''Oh my god'' like he couldn't believe he didn't recognize her. Robin said she imagines that's what it's like for Howard to talk to his parents.
Howard said Michael Kay had Spike Lee on his show and he asked Spike about what he thinks about what he said to Nick Cannon in the interview recently. Howard played the clip of Michael talking to Spike and he was telling Spike about what Howard said about him and asked if he would sit down with him. Spike said he isn't waking up wanting to go on his show. Spike said he just ignores Howard at the Knick games. He said they're two different things. He said that's not him to do what Howard does. Michael was telling him that Howard does very in depth interviews and they're both New York guys. Spike didn't seem to care.
Howard said he and Spike just know not to say anything. Robin said she sees him and he sort of nods to her. Howard said they don't do anything. Howard said it's so silly. He said he did like some of his movies. Howard said it's okay though. He said they'll both live their lives. Howard said he'd rather interview Nick about that movie. Howard said he's not sure he'd even think Spike being on the show would be something they'd need to do. Robin said she won't intercede then. Howard said that he admires his career. He said that he has nothing against him. He asked if he's mad at every reviewer who hasn't liked his films. Howard asked if he has to hate everyone who doesn't like his radio show. Gary said he thinks that the answer is yes to that. He said from what he reads Spike doesn't talk to people who don't like his movies. Robin said they have had people on the show who used to hate the show and then they loved it. Howard said it's all pointless.
Howard said that Ben Carson wasn't able to say Hamas and he kept saying Humus. Howard said people were wondering if he should know how to say it. Howard said if you are going to talk about it then you should know how to say it. Howard played a clip of Carson saying it the wrong way. Howard said it's not good for him. Howard said George Bush wasn't able to speak very well though.
Howard said they had Ben Carson on earlier and he talked about putting boots on the ground. He said he literally means dropping Timberland boots on the ground without the troops in them. Howard said they thought that was pretty cool.
Howard said he has a clip of a FOX reporter saying IUD instead of IED in a report. Howard played that clip and the guy said that they had an ''IUD factory inside the building...''
Howard said High Pitch Eric was Periscoping and he was outraged by the shootings going on around the world. Howard played a clip of Eric talking about the shootings. Howard asked what's in his throat. He said that he's got phlegm. Howard played more and Eric was doing this in a diner. Howard said the waitress asked what he was doing. Eric had to explain he was on Periscope. Howard said Eric's problem is that he doesn't know where to go with his thoughts after that initial thing. Howard let it play and Eric says that Obama has to get out of office now.
Howard said Eric also put in his bid to be Mayor of New York. Howard played that clip too. Eric was talking about getting rid of guns and talking about how he wants to be Mayor. Robin said it would be great if they had Trump as President and Eric as Mayor of New York City. Eric said Joey Boots would be his assistant.
Howard asked Wendy some questions that she just said yes to. Howard asked if she shit her pants. She said yes. Howard asked if it rolled down her leg when she got out. She said yes. Howard asked if the homeless guy understood her problem. Wendy said he did. Howard asked if she went into the restaurant and told them about her experience. She said yes. Howard kept going and Wendy kept saying yes to everything he asked.
Howard asked Wendy about how she did her cleanup and things like that. She said she threw her underpants in the trash after shitting herself. Howard asked if she went right back to the dumpster and started eating again. Wendy said yes. She said that the food is good in there.
Shuli said that Wendy was at a Walmart last week and there was a bomb threat there so they evacuated everyone but Wendy was in the bathroom taking a shit so they had to go in and get her.
Howard said that Wendy cleans up after the dumpster but then she goes back for more food. Howard asked what she pulled out. Wendy said it was a watermelon. Howard asked if that gave her diarrhea. Wendy said yes. She said she shit herself again. Howard asked what she did then. Wendy said that she was offered a change of clothes after that. She said that she changed in the rest room there.
Howard kept going and asking about getting doody under her fingernails and things like that. Howard asked if she smells her hand. Wendy said yes. Howard said that she must smell soap and doody. Wendy said yes. Shuli asked if she bites her fingernails. Howard told Shuli not to interrupt. Howard said that he's going to be sick now.
Howard said what Wendy is doing is dangerous. He asked if the restaurants ever give her food. Wendy said sometimes they do. She said she goes to Taco Bell, McDonald's and Burger King. Howard said a lot of people must throw out their unfinished sandwiches. Wendy said yes. She said that she can't imagine not finishing a sandwich.
Howard asked what the worst thing was that she ate out of a dumpster. Wendy said chicken. She said that she ate it even though it wasn't good. Howard asked what was so bad about it. Wendy said it smelled and it was too greasy. Howard asked if there were worms in it. Wendy said yes. She said she ate them too. She said she could see the worms in her doody when she shit 5 minutes after eating it. Howard asked her more questions about that and Wendy said yes to every crazy question he asked. Howard wrapped up with Wendy and did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she has a big crisis with a friend who she has been trying to help and she doesn't know how to. Howard said she has come to the wrong place. The caller said she knows in Howard's book she talked about using heroin once. Howard said he did it just once. The caller said Howard talked about it with Scott Weiland and she's wondering how to get some sort of help. Howard said she's dragging this out. Howard asked what she needs help with. The caller kept going explaining her story. Howard said that she has to just get to the point. Howard said everyone beats around the bush. The caller said she wants to do an intervention but she's not sure what to do. Howard said they don't either. Howard said they just hide their heads in the sand. Howard said he's known lots of people with drug problems and they don't know what to do. The caller said she went to this friend and tried talking to him and he's just wasting his life. Robin said the friend has to make the decision to do something. Howard said he likes that. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go. Howard said she has to call a health professional. Howard said they don't know what to do. He said they're really bad with anything with interpersonal relations. Howard said he's missing Wendy the Slow Adult so much right now.
Howard said he used to do drugs and one day he just decided to stop. Howard went back into his mother's voice and had her saying that she never saw him doing drugs so that story isn't true. Howard had her saying that it's him doing shtick. Howard had her talking about how he knew the rules and he knew what to do. She said that he wasn't busy with that nonsense.
Robin got to her news and said that the Grammy nominations were announced this morning. She went over some of the nominees with Howard. She had some Taylor Swift music to play. Robin said she's up for 3 of the big 4 awards. Robin said that Bruno Mars is up for a Grammy too. She had Howard play one of his songs. Robin had Howard play some of The Weeknd's song too. Robin went through some of the other nominees.
Howard said that Michael Rapaport has a new Baba Booey song parody. Howard said he beat Baba Booey over the weekend in their fantasy football league. Rapaport said that when he wins it's kind of swept under the rug but when he's beaten they talk about it. Rapaport said Gary got dismantled yesterday. He said he also wanted to tell Howard that Matt Berry is going to be donating 5 grand to Bianca's Furry Friends because he lost a bet. Michael said that he beat the monkey snot out of Gary yesterday too.
Gary said Sal came to him this morning and said Rapaport was texting him all weekend and he was just sending words like ''Monkey'' or ''Gorilla'' each time.
Howard said this is the debut of his new song parody that Michael made about Gary. It was to the tune of ''99 Problems'' and it was all about Gary choking on his cock and things like that. Howard said he really hates Gary. Rapaport said he actually loves Gary. He said that he loves Gary but he understands how he can push Howard to the limit. He said that he can do that.
Howard asked how things are going in the fantasy football league. Gary said it's a mess. He said Jon Hein is winning right now. Gary and Rapaport went over a few things that are going on. Howard asked if Michael wants to fuck Jon Hein up the ass. Gary said Michael loves irritating the shit out of Matt Berry. He said that JD gets very upset when Michael gives him a hard time. JD said he's not making it into the playoffs this year. Gary asked if he's coming back next year. JD said probably. Gary said he thinks the pressure is too much for him to bear. JD said it is. Howard asked Rapaport if he's upset that he's driving him out of the league. Rapaport didn't seem to care. He went off on Matt Berry. Howard said Matt Berry does this for a living. He said he must be so bummed about this whole thing.
Howard said he has to go anyway. He said it's enough of this fantasy football that he doesn't care about. Howard thanked him for donating to the charity but Rapaport said it's not him, it's Matt Berry. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin got back to her news and read more about the Grammy nominations. Robin also had some news about Rolling Stone having a top album list. Robin read about that too.
Howard said he's been listening to Queens of the Stone Age and he thinks their song ''No One Knows'' has no flaws in it at all. Howard said it's a great song. Howard had Fred find it to play for Robin. Howard said he thought he played it before. Fred said he doesn't think so. Fred played the song and Robin recognized it immediately. She said it is a great song. Howard said he can't believe he wasn't into them earlier. He really likes this song. Fred played some of Robin singing over the song. Howard said you have to hear the whole song because there's not one bad part in it. He said he learned that Dave Grohl played drums on this song. He said the song just stays good the whole time. He said it could have gotten shitty but it doesn't. Robin said it is a good song but not a great song. Howard said he analyzed it.
Robin read a story about a man who was held hostage in his home and he was thrown down his stairs but once he got out he went to work and didn't call the cops until later in the day. Howard asked if he knew something was up. Howard said that doesn't sound right. Robin said he did tell a co-worker who told him to call the police. That's when he went home and called the police. Robin said the men stole some firearms from the man's home.
Robin read a story about George Lucas being recognized for his lifetime achievement in the arts in Washington DC. Robin read about some of the other people who were honored. Howard said he has to see this new Star Wars already. He said there's so much hype around it.
Robin read about a ceremony they're having in San Bernardino for the victims of the shooting last week. Robin read some details about that story. Robin said there are a lot of reports about the background of the two shooters. Robin said they say that the woman didn't hesitate at all but the husband did. Robin said that he joined in eventually. They spent a few minutes talking about that story and what's going on in this world. Robin had some details about one of the shooters, Tashfeen Malik, and talked about her background. Robin said that the dad of Syed Farook is saying he wishes he could have done something to stop his son from doing this. Robin said one of the guys who was killed was having heated arguments with Farook over Israel and the Holocaust. Robin said one of the arguments got heated that day when Farook left and returned later to shoot people. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin got back to her news and had audio of President Obama talking about the shootings in San Bernardino. Robin said he outlined a plan to hunt down ISIS. Robin had clips of him talking about that. Robin had audio of Donald Trump too.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that George Lucas only directed Star Wars. He said he didn't direct Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi. Then he directed the three newer ones and screwed them up. He said he's not sure he deserves that award that Robin mentioned earlier. Ralph said he's just looking forward to the new Star Wars. Howard said Ralph likes what Trump is saying lately. Ralph said he does like the way he talks. He said sometimes he goes too far and makes fun of a handicapped reporter. Howard said Ralph did laugh at that. Ralph said it's because it's just so wrong.
Robin read about the gun control problem and how people are against making it illegal for people on the no fly list to own guns. Howard said he's all for that. Howard said he owns guns and he's ready to shoot people if they start coming after him. Howard said that he's in favor of putting people on a no fly list on a no gun list. Howard said everyone is afraid of their second amendment rights being taken away. Robin said all of the San Bernardino shooting guns were purchased legally. Robin said they had a huge arsenal and a lot of bullets.
Robin read about Ben Carson saying that he thinks doing brain surgery will help him run the country. Robin had audio of him talking about that. Robin said he claims that he has made a lot of life and death decisions.
Robin had some audio of Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders talking about the terrorist attacks and things like that. She had some audio of Jeb Bush talking about that stuff too.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Carter being cancer free. Robin said he had cancer a while back and he's been cleared. Robin said he had brain cancer and now they say he's clean. Howard said the guy is like 90. Howard said you'd figure cancer would win at that age. Howard said he must be in remission. Howard said Robin beat it and she's cancer free. Robin said they cut it all out of her.
Robin read a story about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West having their second child over the weekend. They haven't announced a name yet.
Robin said the Hunger Games came in first at the box office over the weekend.
Robin read about the character Gollum and asked if he's good or evil. Howard said he doesn't know enough about it to say. Robin said in Turkey there is a guy who is on trial based on that determination. Robin said that you can't make fun of the president in Turkey and this guy made a meme of Gollum and the President and now they have to figure out if he's good or evil to figure out what to do. They ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:30am.
Jon talked about Comic-Con and asked Tony Hawk about that. Tony said he lives out in San Diego and he tries to avoid downtown when that's going on. He said he doesn't dislike it. He said it's fun to watch from afar. Jon said you do meet all kinds there. He said that without the fans you don't have a job.
Jon asked Charles if he would like to do Broadway. Charles said he would. He said he hasn't yet but he would like to. They spent a short time talking about that. Jon talked to Charles about his new show Childhood's End for a little while too. Jon gave him some plugs and thanked Charles for sitting in. They went to break after that.
Gary said that he's not sure if Tan Mom knew that this was hype today. He said that Tan Mom lunged at Kayla a couple of times. Jon said that Sal comes in and it was like a switch was turned on Tan Mom. Gary said that she thinks Sal is the funniest guy in the world. He said he energizes her. Gary said the way she looks at Sal is the say she doesn't look at her own husband. Tony said he was listening on the way in and he felt like she was downplaying her sex life at home because Sal was there. Gary said he hadn't thought of that. He said that's interesting. Gary asked what the reasons are for Tan Mom staying with her husband. Tony said he thinks that the husband's perception of the whole thing is manageable. He said the whole thing is a mystery. He said he thinks that she may play it up when she's there about how bad it is. Gary said she's not playing it up that much because she's real.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to know what the vibe was in the green room there. Gary said they had to prepare like they were going to invade a country. He said they had to keep Tan Mom and her husband away from Kayla. He said that it worked out well today. He said it was a lot of work though. Jon said they had to do a lot but it worked out well. Jon said things went back and forth in there and it got heated in there.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he hates Tan Mom. He said that he fell off his skateboard early on when he was riding. He said that he has to thank Tony for his video game series because he loves it. Tony thanked him very much. Jon said he thought he was going to blame him for the accident. The caller went on to say that Tan Mom is not a Wack Packer. He said she's a disgruntled twat who has to get a divorce. Gary asked why she's not a Wack Packer. The caller said he feels like she's not that unique. Gary said she is very unique. Jon said that some people love her and some hate her. He said that's what it's like for Wack Packers. Gary said this caller hates her and that's why he doesn't want her in the Wack Pack. The caller said he thinks that Kayla is going to turn Tan Mom into Muhammad Ali so she will fit in after that.
Jon said he was taken with the husband. He said hearing his side of things was interesting. He said that they were talking about him having sex and Tan Mom denies his side of the story. Gary said there was a lot of arguing about the husband and Tan Mom and what happens at home.
Jon said that Jeff the Drunk called in today and seemed surprised that Howard was saying it didn't go well. Tony said that he found it interesting that he was Periscoping and wasn't playing to the audience there. Gary asked who was thinking that anyone could sit through 4 hours of that. Tony said it reminds him of the whole Charlie Sheen tour. He said at least he had audiences to support him. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked Tony if he understands where they're coming from. Tony said he gets that you can lose your whole sense of reasoning. Jon said you want it to be true. Gary said the whole con game is putting something in front of you that's too good to be true. Tony said that David Spade had a story about a Victoria's Secret model that wasn't real.
Jon said that Sal went in there and said that he used to go into lesbian chat rooms with a wig on and dim lights. He said Sal isn't making that up. Jon asked why Sal is doing that. Gary said that Sal is a level of horny that they're not used to. Gary said that he does a lot of things that none of the other guys have done. Gary said there's enough porn out there that you don't have to do this stuff. Gary asked what he's missing with the lesbian chat room. Gary asked why he wouldn't just go into a site where you're a guy and you find a girl. Jon said maybe he wanted to be someone else. Jon said no one can explain the mind of Sal Governale.
Jon said Howard started the show with a Scott Weiland tribute. Jon said Howard loved the guy. Gary said Scott was great. He said in some ways it wasn't a surprise. He said that in some it was because you thought he got well. Gary said that he was never a dick to anyone there. He said that it's really sad. Gary said some of that early Stone Temple Pilots stuff is incredible.
Jon said that you felt like Scott could handle all of that stuff. He said no one wanted it to come that early. Tony said most of the news they ever heard about him was bad news. He said it was so unfortunate because he was such a talent. He said he met him at an event once and he was there with his son. He said it's just so tragic to see it happen. He said he just couldn't make that change.
Jon said that Tony is a big fan of the show and he tried to get on the show years ago. Tony said that he had just started a skateboard company and they were in Jersey. He said they wanted to drive in and try to get on the show. Tony said they drove out and drove to the front of K-Rock and he remembers Chuck Zito was walking out. He said that Melrose Larry Green was out there too. He said he gave Stuttering John a skateboard to give to them. Gary said they never saw it. He said it probably went right on Ebay. Tony said John told them they can't just show up the day of. Gary said that's the scenario of how Hank the Dwarf got on the show so you can get on if you're Hank. Tony said they should have been drunk and smaller then. Gary said he loves that Tony brought skateboarding to the whole world and built this brand that he has. Tony said he can't believe he's still doing it at his age. He said he started his company when he was in his 20s and he knew he wanted to be in the business. Jon said things keep getting bigger and bigger too. Tony said that these days the skaters are the cool kids. He said it wasn't like that when he was growing up.
Tony said he's up there today because he's a skateboarder. He said that blows him away. Gary said that he and Tony email once in a while. Gary said he emailed him about a song parody. He asked if it was the JD sheets song. Tony said it was the ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' song that Daniel Mendelson did. Jon asked him about what he thinks about JD's sheets. Tony said it's gross. He said he doesn't get it. They spent a minute on that before Jon wrapped up and ended the show. They were done around 12:10pm.
Howard started the show with a Mick the Nerd promo announcing who the guests were today. He announced that Don Henley will be in today. Howard said that he's very excited about Don Henley. Robin said she loves that Mick is doing his thing. Howard said Mick is into Robin too. He said he wants it badly. Howard said Shuli told him Mick is all about Robin. He said that he thought he was after her money but then he saw he has real love for her.
Howard said Don Henley is going to perform some songs. He said he's going to perform ''Desperado'' and it's a very personal song apparently. He said that he's going to ask Don about this today. They played some of the song. Howard said he heard that Don hated his own performance and he did it a few times and then stopped. Howard said he used to dance with Fred to this song. Howard said Don didn't like the vocal on the song. Howard said then he worked on it with Glenn Frey. He said that the song was about a guy named Leo or something. Howard said that they have to talk about that and about Hotel California. Howard said Don is going to do a couple of tunes for them today. Robin said she wants to know if the band is getting along these days. Howard said he's not sure he wants to talk about that.
Howard said he went to dinner with Denise Oliver last night. Robin said she thought so. Howard said he was thinking about Denise. He said he has a lot of explaining to do. Howard said Denise was one of her favorite people. Howard said she was a programmer in Washington DC who put him together with Robin. He said Denise was a big time rock jock and she was a DJ too. Howard said there were very few female DJs at the time. Howard said she met Robin in a class and she kept her eye on her. Howard said she thought Robin had a good sound. Howard said he got hired at DC101 and he had to have someone to talk to on the air. Howard said he was carrying 4 hours on his own. Howard said he had to get something going. He said that Denise had someone in mind and she hooked the two of them up on the phone. Howard said he and Robin have been together for like 40 years. Robin said she thinks it's 35. Howard said the sad part is that he was unable to take in the good that he was experiencing in life. Howard said Denise was looking out for them. He said that she shielded them from the General Manager at that station. He said that they were making a name for themselves and Denise was fielding the calls from sponsors, listeners who were outraged and all of that.
Howard said that he was wrapped up in himself and he was very insecure about the radio business. He said he was a ball of insecurity. He said Denise was terrific and reaped the benefits of putting them together. Howard said she got a job in Manhattan and went on to do great things in radio. Howard said she was even represented in his movie but it was very short. He said she was very good to them. Howard said he hadn't seen her in years so he went out to diner with her. Howard said that they had some conversations about who they have worked with and things like that. Howard said that he can't do that there but they really enjoyed each other's conversation. Robin said she's sure that meant a lot to her. Howard said it meant a lot to him. Robin said Denise has always had a great deal of affection for them. Howard said that he loved going out with her. Howard said he got to hang out for a bit with her. Howard said he got all nostalgic.
Howard said he talked to Denise about Robin too. Howard said he didn't get into too many personal things. Robin said she's been trying to get together with her lately. She said she has been doing that for years. Howard said that Denise approves of Robin and Mick the Nerd getting together.
Howard said that he got a beautiful song about Robin from Psych to the tune of ''Desperado.'' Howard played that for her. Howard said that was about Robin's Butthole. Howard said that he was in the studio for 3 days working on that.
Howard said that he missed a lot of songs in the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s. He said he can't listen to every song like Meg Griffin. Gary said Meg is going to be on the Wrap Up Show today to talk about Don Henley. Gary said he thinks that Don is too successful for her to like though. Howard agreed. Howard said he's not sure who that band Clutch is that the caller mentioned. Fred found some of their music and played a song for him. Howard asked how he missed this. He said maybe he can get into this. Howard said maybe the caller was right. Then the song went on a few more seconds and he gave up. Fred found a song that the caller, Jesse, was talking about. Fred found that one and played it for Howard.
Howard said he got a song request from Carol Leifer who just got married. Robin said congratulations to Carol. Robin said that she loves getting Christmas cards from Carol and from Baba Booey. Howard said Baba Booey does everything wrong. Howard said he was going home yesterday and he has to carry his mail home. Howard said he sees an envelope in his mail. He said he told Gary to just give him copies of his mail. He said he sees it's Gary's Christmas card. Howard said he thought to himself ''fuck him.'' He said he wanted Beth to see it so he had to carry it home. Howard said it's just irritating to him. He said he doesn't hand Gary a card to carry it home. Howard said Gary could have mailed it. Gary said he doesn't want to send him stuff. Howard said he's out of his fucking mind. Gary said he didn't think it was a big deal. Gary said he's sorry for putting his mail in his mail bag. Howard said now he's in charge of carrying the card home. Howard said everyone figures out his address other than Gary.
Gary said he mailed Robin's card. Howard asked why he didn't do that for him. Gary said he has 3 addresses for Robin. Howard said it's so annoying. He said he carried the card to work and put it in his bag. Howard said he will mail things himself. He said Gary has his address. Howard told him to just mail the card and figure out the address. Howard said he's his producer and he can't figure out his address. Gary said just mail it like everyone else does. Howard said stop bringing it to work for him to carry. Howard said he's not Paul Revere so he's not going to carry it around the city. Howard said now he's dealing with Gary's card.
Robin said it's mixed in with work stuff. She said it's not personal. Howard said he doesn't want to carry his stuff. Gary eventually apologized for doing that to him. That led to Fred playing Sal's ''Gary the Horse Toothed Jackass'' song parody. Howard laughed.
Howard said Gary had to carry it into work so it had to annoy him too. Gary said he has no idea how much work it is to put it in his bag and then in Howard's bag. Gary said Howard isn't a nice person. He said he's just an evil fuck. Howard said he's not. He said he's a nice guy but Gary is fucking nuts. Howard said he knows he's going to get mail about picking on Gary. He said Gary doesn't even know his address. He asked how he can't know his address. He said he mails Gary stuff all the time. Howard said it's infuriating.
Gary said Howard isn't being nice right now. Howard said that he got it out of his system. He said that you can call him Howard the Postman now. He said he has to deliver his own mail to his house now. Robin asked what it had on the front of it. Howard said it just said ''Howard and Beth.'' He said that's why he felt he had to bring it home for Beth to see.
Howard said that he'll mail his card to Gary. He said he won't just bring it to him. Howard said maybe he can bring everyone's card and he'll deliver them all. Howard said he just found it peculiar. Howard said that he wondered what the fuck is with this guy.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh. Jim asked him to ask Don about Joe Walsh playing Desperado. Howard said he will talk about that. Jim also asked if Don Imus or Jay Leno are his biggest nemesis. Howard said he thinks it's Gary right now. Howard said that between Imus and Leno he has to think. Howard said he doesn't think he hates Imus. Howard said he thinks Imus was very insecure back in the day. Howard said he could have helped him back then but he was too much of a narcissist to help the young guy out. Howard said he feels sort of sorry for Imus. He said he was kind of mean to them. Howard said he gets his insecurity though. Howard said he was the guy to replace Imus if he got out of line. Howard said they used him to threaten Imus. Howard said he gets why he'd feel shitty about him. Howard said he doesn't hate Imus. He said he ran into Imus on the street and it wasn't a hate thing.
Howard said Jay Leno is just a weird guy. Howard said hate is a strong word. He said he's not sure he hates Jay either. Howard said he thinks Jay bungled something with him that he shouldn't have. Howard said he dislikes Jay for what he did. Howard said Imus he doesn't hate. Howard said he doesn't hate either one. He said maybe Jay a little more than Imus. Howard said that he understands Imus but Leno bungled that whole thing with him.
Howard got to some email and someone said that yesterday's show was the best in a while. Howard read the email about the great guests they had on yesterday.
Howard said he was talking to Gary about Tan Mom this morning. Howard said that's when they were still talking. Howard said he's not sure why Tan Mom snapped yesterday. He said that she tried to keep her shit together for a long time.
Howard said he got some email about King of All Blacks and Mick the Nerd. Howard said people are tired of the two of them. Howard said that there was some email about Memet getting catfished.
Howard said that people are still writing in about JD's sheets. Howard said there are a bunch of songs about JD and his sheets too. Howard said he has so many things to play and so little time. Robin said that they have Don Henley coming in so she's not sure why they're playing these songs. Howard played a song called ''JD Gross But True.'' Howard said he got a lot of nice comments about his tribute to Scott Weiland. He read a few of those emails.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he liked that tribute too. He asked if he would go see John Mayer play with the Grateful Dead. Howard said no. Howard said h knows he's on tour with them but he's not a fan of the Dead. Howard said he bought one of their albums and he just wasn't able to get into it. He said that was back when he was in high school. Howard said he just never got into the Dead.
The caller asked if Howard feels any differently about Scott Weiland after reading his ex-wife's letter in Rolling Stone. Howard said he hasn't read it. Howard said he knows Scott as a great artist. Howard said his personal life was a disaster. Howard said that he's gone now and she shouldn't be talking about his failures. Howard said drug addicts are their own worst enemies. Howard said that they eat themselves up. Howard said their love is for drugs and they don't think of anyone else. Howard said he has compassion for Scott Weiland. Howard said he thinks it's time to celebrate his career. Howard said he probably left a road of disaster behind him. He said that he can't imagine how many people he left frustrated. Howard said he's not going to dig up that stuff because it's over.
The caller was trying to say something but his phone was breaking up. Howard said they must have a conspiracy there to ruin his show with bad phone connections.
Howard said he thought it was funny that fellow republicans were ganging up on Ted Cruz even though Trump is saying the same things but in a different way. Robin said that Ted is beating Trump in the polls. Howard said he's beating him in one poll and another poll from the same day said that Trump is winning. He said it doesn't make sense.
Howard said he got a lot of email from people saying that Kayla sounded like Ronnie in a dress yesterday. Howard said he didn't pick up on that. Howard said that someone wrote in about what he said about dropping a penny from the Empire State Building. Howard said they corrected him and said that Mythbusters busted that myth about dropping the penny.
Howard said someone wrote in about how much they love Robin singing. Howard said that he has some of Robin singing the top 5 songs. Howard had her singing number 5 which was The Weeknd's ''The Hills.'' Howard had her singing number 4 which was Justin Bieber. Number 3 was Drake. Number 2 was another Justin Bieber song and number 1 was Adele. Robin said the video of her singing to the Adele video is hilarious. Howard said that's up on HowardStern.com
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was thinking about his relationship with David Letterman. He asked if he just suffered him because he got him great ratings. Howard said that he thinks so. He said that he doesn't think Dave likes him. He said he doesn't think Dave likes him personally that much. Robin asked how he can say that. Howard said he has been in situations where he and Dave could get together and then Dave backs out. Robin said that's another kind of thing. Howard said he thinks that Dave doesn't really like him. He said he likes Dave. Howard said he thinks it's personally and professionally. He said that he's just being honest. Robin said she thinks that Howard has the same relationship with Dave that Julia Roberts had. Robin said she never had a personal moment with him either. Howard said he thinks he broke certain trusts with Dave and he was a schmuck for doing that. Howard said Dave might respect his career but he doesn't think he likes him.
Robin said she thinks that Dave tried to get to like him and he betrayed him. Howard said he doesn't think Dave likes a lot of people. Howard said Dave is smart and funny and he has a quick wit. The caller said that Dave looks down on Howard. Howard said Dave has this giant beard and he found out he's training to be a rabbi. Howard was joking. They went to break after that.
Howard said Roger has plenty to say about him for disagreeing with him. Howard said that the Eagles of Death Metal aren't shutting up either. Robin said they played in Paris for the first time since the tragedy last night.
Howard read an email from someone asking why he doesn't do Sternac anymore. Howard said he thought the fans burned out on that long ago. Howard said they could find him and bring him back. Howard said that he is going to do that now.
Howard had Robin introduce him as if she were Ed McMahon to his Johnny Carson. Robin did her intro and Howard went into character as Sternac the magnificent. This is where Howard reads the answer from an envelope and then gives the question after.
Robin gave Sternac the envelopes and said that they're kept in a place that no one goes anymore. That's Charlie Sheen's hot tub. Howard started off with the first envelope which had the answer ''Toupee.'' The question was ''What is something no one offerers when they're dining out with Howard Stern?''
Sternac said the next one was ''Beetlejuice.'' The question was ''What does Paul McCartney call his cum?'' The next one was ''A Tampon, a baby, Adam Levine.'' The question was ''Name three things you'll never see in Caitlyn Jenner's vagina.''
Sternac read the next answer which was ''The voice.'' The question was ''Why Mariann from Brooklyn's husband let her go to every America's Got Talent taping?''
The next one was ''Big Foot.'' The question was ''Name something that will be up Gary's ass if this bit bombs.'' Sternac did a few more. One of them was ''Blood Sweat and Tears.'' The question was ''Name three of the least disgusting things in JD's bed.'' Another one was ''TMZ.'' The question was ''How does Wendy the Slow Adult spell cat?'' Another one was ''A diet book, treadmill and Christie Brinkley.'' The question was ''Name three things you'll never see in High Pitch Eric's apartment.
Sternac had another one which was ''Ant Man.'' The question was ''What does Caitlyn Jenner's nephew call him?'' Another one was ''New Kids on the Block.'' The Question was ''Why did Jared Fogel call in sick from Subway?'' Another one was ''George W. Bush.'' The question was ''Who was in office the last time JD washed his sheets?'' The final answer was ''Scott Free.'' The question was ''Describe a perfect day on the Howard Stern Show.'' Sternac left after that. Howard said that they had a lot of inside jokes in there. He said that he has to take a break and then get to more stuff. They went to break after that.
Howard said they came across some tape of some hippies crying over trees. Howard played the clip and there were people crying over trees and how they don't want them to die. Howard said these hippies go out in the woods and tell them they love them. Howard said the guys took those clips and called a Christmas tree farm. Howard played the call that Richard did to the tree farm and had the clip of the crying hippie woman crying over them being cut down. The woman on the phone said they use a chainsaw so they don't suffer long. She said they take real good care of them. Howard said that woman sounds like she's gotten calls like that before from real tree lovers.
Howard said that they have a clip of this guy who they claim is in ISIS and when he was captured he cried like a baby. Howard played the clip of the guy crying. Howard said he suspects that a lot of these guys are just trying to hook up with anyone with power. Then they break when they're captured. Howard said listen to this guy crying like a baby. He called him a pussy. Howard let the clip go on for a few seconds as the guy was moaning. Howard said there's video of that too. Howard said no one is sure what to do with ISIS and Jihad.
Howard said Jerry Fallwell Jr. has taken over for his dad and he's saying if everyone had a gun they'd be able to take care of them. Howard played a clip of Fallwell saying he has a gun in his back pocket and everyone cheered for him. Fallwell said if more people had conceal carry permits they'd be able to take care of this problem. Robin said that it wasn't like you'd be able to knock over a table and take aim. Robin said that your hand gun wasn't going to do much. Robin said you'll be shot. Howard said if you're hit and you're like Rambo and start shooting... Robin said you might hit other people trying to get out of the way.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was at a game recently and Boston University was playing. He asked why Howard doesn't mention them much. Howard said he's not sure what he even said. Robin had to explain it to him. Howard said he does have a relationship with the school. Howard said he donates money and tells them not to bother him. Robin said they don't bother him. Howard said he doesn't want anything from them. Howard said he's one of those idiots who thinks if you have Doctor in front of your name then you should heave earned it. He said that's one of those things that Cosby took that was really lame. Howard said that's like a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Howard said that's even more lame. Howard said people get so excited about that. Howard said it's some fucking bullshit thing on the ground.
Howard said he has gotten some awards. He said he got the Blockbuster Award and thought that was kind of cool. Howard said he felt like he was good in it and it was a well done movie. He said he earned that. Robin asked if he'd like a Kennedy Center Honor. Howard said he has to think about that. Howard said the most boring ones are musicians because they don't know what to do with them. Howard said he's not sure what they'd honor him for at one of those things. Howard said he doesn't think he wants that. Howard said if he got the purple heart he might like that. Howard said he got an award in grade school for a paper he wrote about fires. Howard said he won an award for that. Howard said it looked like a bowling trophy. He said it fell apart and his mom threw it away. He said that might be the last award he was excited about.
Howard said Billboard always gave him radio awards. He said he never went to the shows because they were lame. Howard said Taylor Swift got like 50 nominations for Grammys. Howard said of course she did. Howard said if he were her he'd tell them to pay her to tune in because they're just doing it to get ratings. Howard said that those shows are tricky. He said getting an honorary doctorate is the worst. Robin said Dick Clark started his own award show and they'd tell people if they showed up they'd give them the award. Howard said that's how they got people to show up. Robin said he also started the People's Choice Awards.
Howard said Blockbuster told him that he was unofficially getting the award. Howard said he was unofficially going to show up. He said he had to go. He said that they asked him to act excited when he won. Howard said he did that. Howard said he never got any great scripts after that though. He said he really needed to win an Oscar that year. Howard asked who won that year. Robin said she doesn't know. Howard asked Gary to look it up. Gary said that Jack Nicholson won for ''As Good as it Gets.'' Howard said he doesn't even remember that. Robin said it was a good movie. Howard said Private Parts airs a lot. He said he gets residual checks for like 14 cents after it airs. Howard said he bets that his movie airs more than that movie does. Gary also said Titanic won that year. Howard said no one watches that movie more than once. He said it's a bore fest. Howard said it's depressing too. Howard said he bets that more people watch Private Parts than titanic now.
Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to Underdog Lady about her new character which his a ''bridal witch.'' That's the name she goes by. Underdog told Shuli about how the judging is going to work. Howard said he could listen to her all day long. He said that she treats this stuff like it's so important. Howard said most of the time she's up against kids in the costume contests.
Howard said Underdog has come up with a new idea for how to win the judges over. Howard said she came up with an idea to get inside. Howard played that clip and Underdog said she dresses like an angel and then she sings a couple of Christmas Carols in Latin for the judges. Howard said doctors don't take their job as seriously as she does.
Howard had Shuli come in to talk about this. Howard asked if she snag for him. Shuli said that she said she already did so she didn't do that for him. He said that she's going to so many parades. Shuli said she goes to them every year. He said that it might be the only place she's treated kindly. He said that she's known as the person who comes to the show dressed as a character. Howard said he has seen her in the parades. Shuli said the judges all know her from her being there every year.
Howard said he never thought about judging a costume contest. Howard said that they might be sadder than Underdog. Howard asked if she has ever judged a contest. Robin said she wants to be the center of attention.
Howard said she belched during her conversation too. Howard played that clip next. Underdog just burped and said she was sorry after Shuli noticed. Howard asked why she started crying when he asked her about a Hollywood Walk of Fame star. Shuli said she's basically saying that she doesn't deserve it. Howard played a clip of Underdog talking about going on Jimmy Kimmel's show and then saying that she didn't think she had accomplished enough to earn one. She said those people have their names on the walk of fame because they were on TV, radio and movies. She said that they're top notch media. She was near tears talking about that. Howard said that they should buy her one. Howard said he bets that Julianne Hough has one. Howard said that Howie Mandel is all proud of his. He said that they went on a tour bus to see it. Howard said Howie knows where it is.
Shuli said that he told her that the Embedded special got thousands of downloads and she just said ''well that's a drop in the bucket.'' Howard said she'll take calls from Shuli at any time. Shuli said there are days when she's annoyed and others when she's upset. He said when he calls her there's usually a game show or Little House on the Prairie on the TV in the background. Howard said they had her on Hollywood Squares for his TV show.
Howard said he has an idea for a remake of ''Misery'' with Underdog and Shuli. Howard played the bit they created with clips of Shuli and an Underdog Lady impersonator. They went to break after that. AS they went to break they played a few Christmas songs from Tiny Tim, George Takei and others.
Howard came back and said that Don Henley is there. Howard said that Don is the only one who can interrupt Willie Nelson. Howard asked if he knows him. Don said he doesn't. Howard said he thinks that Don is as successful as a solo act as he did with the Eagles. Howard asked if he wanted to show those guys how he could do things on his own. Don said that the solo career came as a surprise. He said it took a few years to get his feet back under him. Howard asked how he made that transition and if he turned to someone to ask for help. Don said he turned to a friend named Danny who used to play with James Taylor. He said that his nickname was Cooch. He said that it developed from there.
Howard said he's impressed with a drummer who can drum and sing. He said Dave Clark did that. He said he remembers how impressed he was with him. Howard asked if it's harder to drum and sing than guitar and sing. Don said it's harder for him to play guitar and sing. Howard asked when he started playing. Don said he was 15. He said Ringo was an inspiration for him. He said that his parents would go to concerts and he'd see big band drummers. Howard said his first band was a Dixieland band. Don said it was. He said that he used to tap on things in class and he made his teacher nuts. Howard asked if it was in his blood to be a drummer. Howard said he used to bang on his books too but he didn't become a drummer. Don said they had the brown paper book covers in school and it made some space between the book and the paper and it sounded really good. He said he used to beat on the dash of cars too. Howard asked if he's self taught. Don said he is. Howard said that you'd think that he'd take lessons. Don said he lived in a really small town so there was no one around. He said he played in the school band though. He said that he started out on Trombone and he moved on to the drums and taught himself how to play.
Howard asked if he holds his sticks like a professional. Don said he did start out like that. He he's not sure what that's called. One of the band guys told him it's called the French Grip. Don said the guitar player knows more than the drummer does. Don said he switched to the Ringo grip and he gets more power with that grip. Howard said that's like Bonham had.
Don told Howard that when the Beatles came along they changed from doing the Dixieland thing. He said that he didn't know he'd be a pro at 15. He said that he dreamed about doing it though. Howard asked if his parents were supportive. Don said they were and that was shocking. He said his dad was an auto parts dealer. Howard said he was very evolved to encourage him to do that. Don said he was. He said that his dad could sing and his mom played. He said that they met in a honky tonk. Howard said they liked this aspect of his life. Don said that his mother recognized he had some talent. He said that his mom took him out when he was 16 and drove him about 90 miles to a music store. She bought him a set of drums. Don said he still has that set of drums. He said before that he was borrowing drums from the band hall. He said that they'd take the old stuff and put a set together.
Don said he's a singer first and he drums in such a way as not to get in the way of the vocal. He said that any singer will tell you that the most annoying thing you can have is a drummer or guitar player who steps all over your vocal.
Howard asked if it was hard for Don to write with the other guys in The Eagles. He asked how that works and how they pick the person to sing the vocal. Don said they didn't get into that so much. He said the person who sings is the person who brought in the vocals.
Howard asked Don about the vocals in Desperado and why he doesn't like it. Don said he didn't get to sing it as many times as he wanted to. He said they had a guy who was trying to make an album in an economical way and this was their second album. He said they were sent to England and they were in a huge studio in London. He said it was cold and dreary out in February. He said they had the London Philharmonic sitting behind him and he was trying to sing. He said they brought chess boards with them and they were playing chess between takes. Don said it unnerved him. He said they weren't really into it. Howard said the producer is at fault for that. Howard said they could have recorded it separately. Don said they were into doing it live. He said that he could have done better. Don said he heard comments coming from those guys too and one guy said ''I don't feel like a Desperado.''
Don told Howard how he started writing Desperado but it wasn't called Desperado. Don said in 1973 he and Glenn Frey were in a house writing and he didn't have any material on the first album so he sat down with Glenn and showed him this song he had been carrying around with him for years. Don said that he wanted it to be like a Ray Charles song. He said that Glenn told him it was really good. Howard said that's a great thing to do. Don said that Glenn was a big part of helping him become a writer. Howard asked if he loves him. Don said he does. He said he loves him like a brother. He said like brothers they get along sometimes and sometimes they don't. He said that it's all water under the bridge now. Howard said that's great that he encouraged him. Don said it is. He said that they had him sing certain songs because his voice fit better.
Howard asked if it was Glenn who changed the name of the song to Desperado. Don said he may have. Howard said he's going to give him a second chance to sing Desperado. Howard said he has his band there and he has all of his friends there to sing it the way he wants it to sound. Don said it's very early in the morning so it may not be the best. He said this is the 8 o'clock version. Howard had him perform the song ''Desperado'' after that.
After the song Howard said he and Robin didn't play chess during that song. Howard asked if he's happy with the way that was done. Don laughed. Howard said that's some song to have written as his first song. Howard said that song wasn't a big hit for The Eagles. Howard said it was a hit for Linda Ronstadt. Don said that nothing happen when they did it but she had a hit with it. He said over the years that has changed. Howard asked if he was upset about that. Don said not at all. He said he loves Linda.
Howard said that Jackson Browne wrote the song ''Take it Easy'' and he wasn't able to finish it so the Eagles took the song and finished it. Don said they were all very supportive of each other. Howard asked why Jackson didn't become an Eagle. Don said he's his own man and he does his own thing. Howard asked if he ever got upset about them having a hit with that song. Don said not at all. He said Jackson had shelved it. He said that sometimes you write a song and you hit a roadblock. He said that you can put it away and then get it out again in a few years and you're able to finish it.
Howard asked about Tequila Sunrise and how he liked the name but Glenn didn't. Don said he's not sure that's the whole story. Don said it might have been the other way around. He said he may have hated it himself.
Howard asked if Don is a poet. Don said he doesn't think so. Howard said he really likes this band he has. He said they're really good. Howard said they should introduce them. Don said they should. Howard named everyone in the band and asked if he's really tough on the drummer. Don said he doesn't think so. He said there are millions that are better than him. Howard named a bunch of people who were in there with Don today.
Howard asked Don how he finds these people. Don said he has to look for them. Howard said he's a perfectionist. Don said he strives for excellence. He said he's not a perfectionist.
Howard asked if Don likes the way his life has gone. Don said he didn't have a plan B so he had to go this way. Howard said that Don met Glenn Frey pretty young. Howard said they went out and played and Linda had them in her backup band. Howard said that Linda really supported them. Howard said he'd be pissed if the band left him. Don said he thinks she saw that they had a big plan and they had a future. He said she was always very gracious about that. Don said that Glenn had a plan for a band and he wanted 4 guys who could all play and all sing. Howard asked if he was in love with Linda Ronstadt because she was gorgeous. Don said he wasn't in that. He said there may have been guys in the band who were. Howard said that he'd hit on her if he was in the band. Don said he kept it professional. He said that they're still friends today because of that.
Howard played some ''Best of My Love'' and asked Don if he remembers this one. Don said he hears it in his sleep. Howard asked if he gets tired of playing his songs. Don asked if Howard enjoys doing his show every day. Howard said he is enjoying it today. Howard asked why he gets to sing on this son. Don said he doesn't remember why. He said it's not in a normal tuning though. Don told Howard how they wrote the song but he doesn't remember why he was picked to sing it. Howard said that it seems like a difficult thing to do. Don said Glenn was very generous in that regard. He said that if he thought he could sing something better then he'd let him do it. Howard asked if there are any songs he's pissed he didn't get to sing on. Don said he can't think of any right now.
Howard played him ''One of These Nights'' and asked if he remembers that. Don said of course he does. He said he played it every night on tour for 21 years. Howard said there are so many great musicians plugging away out there but they had one hit after another. Don said it's really hard. He said they had a really strong work ethic. He said they'd work all day long on some days. Don said they'd work on songs all day long at times. Howard said even when they were partying they would work. Don said they did. Howard asked if they were tricked by the drug thing by thinking that they had to do it to write the songs they were writing. Don said they did that. He said after a while it backfires and turns on you. He said it freezes you up.
Howard said Joe Walsh credits them for getting him sober. Howard said they told him he had to stop doing drugs to get back in the band. Howard said they saved his life. Don said he's not sure about that. Howard said Joe is a different guy now. Don said he's a great guy and he's playing great too. He said he's been sober since 1994. Howard said that Don got upset when Joe performed ''Desperado'' on his show. Don said he doesn't remember that at all.
Howard asked what made Don get off of drugs. Don said he knew it was starting to stifle his creativity and he was going to get married and have kids so he had to stop. He said that was in the mid to late 80s so he was around 40. Howard said by then you have to figure it out or you'll end up dead. Don said he just said enough's enough and he stopped. Robin asked what he was doing. Don said that it was alcohol and cocaine. Howard said that it's good it wasn't heroin. Don said they never got into that. He said that they've lost a lot of people to that stuff. Howard asked if ''Take it to the Limit'' is about that. Don said no.
Howard asked if he wrote ''Witchy Woman.'' Don said that he wrote most of it. Howard said it sounds kind of psychedelic to him. Don said he met this girl Patty who claimed to be a witch. He said that a lot of girls were doing that back then. Howard asked what's up with that. Don said it's a sexy thing. He said he met this Patty and he was dating her girlfriend. Don said that Patty was a fascinating woman. He said that she made candles and you could hear her cackling in the next room while she was doing it. He said that may have inspired that song. Howard asked if he tells the woman that he's written a song about her. Don said he never does. He said they might come after you for residuals if you do that.
Howard asked Don where he comes up with lyrics. Don said he has come up with them while driving a car up the Pacific Coast Highway. He said that he does a lot of driving. He said if you try too hard it won't work. He said it has to be something simple and mundane. He said he's had lyrics come to him while loading the dishwasher. Don said that you start them by inspiration.
Howard said Don said he finally got the courage to write a song. Howard said that you can be laughed out of a room if you write something. Howard asked if he was offended when they'd tell him to go back to the drawing board. Don said no. He said that's why writing with Glenn was great. He said that you have to write with someone who can take criticism. He said that he and Glenn were able to do that.
Howard went through some of the Eagles big hit songs. Howard said that their Greatest Hits was one of the biggest selling albums of all time. Don said it goes back and forth with ''Thriller.'' Howard said they came out with Hotel California after having so many hits. Howard asked if they were shocked by the success of that. Don said they were shocked by everything. Howard asked if they were involved in the business and sweat bullets when they'd be wondering how things were going. Don said it was a little bit of both. He said they kept up with it. Howard asked which was the first hit off the album. Don said it was probably ''Hotel California.'' Howard asked who came up with the riff. Don said it was Don Felder. He said that Don had created a track for them and he brought it to him with 7 or 8 songs on it and this was the only one he liked. He said he figured he could do something with it. Don said he drove around listening to the track and he'd come up with the lyrics driving around. Howard asked if he speaks nonsense like Paul McCartney has talked about. Don said it does work like that. Don said that he came up with the Hotel California thing. He said Glenn helped with filling in the blanks. Howard asked if it's like mad libs filling it in. Don said it can be like that.
Howard said that McCartney and Lennon were like that from what he's read. Howard said that it's great that they can work together like that. Howard asked if they ever high fived over a song. Don said they never wanted to jinx it so they just kept working at it. Howard said they were meant to be and they must talk about that. Don said they have high fived a few times.
Howard said that ''Life in the Fast Lane'' has another classic riff. Howard asked if Joe came up with that. Don said it was Joe. Howard asked who went and recruited Joe. Don said that Irving Azoff may have had something to do with that. Howard asked if it was hard for Joe to get into it since Don and Glenn were so close. Don said it did take a while but after a few years he got into it. Then Don Felder joined and the two of them really played off of each other.
Howard asked if it's strange financially when Joe comes in. Don said that's not his bag so he stays out of all of that. He said that Joe is still Joe Walsh and he still has fans who come to see him. He said he's still making solo albums too. Don said that he was in the Eagles but he retained his own persona. Howard asked if Don wrote the lyrics for the song. Don said that he and Glenn just sat on the E chord and came up with a song. Howard said he has no idea what that even means. Howard asked what he means by the E chord. Don's guitar player demonstrated what it was. He said it's a regular blues progression. Don said you can write great songs with 3 chords.
Howard asked Don if he thought he'd have success as a solo artist. Don said no. He said he was freaking out thinking it was all over. Howard said the greatest vindication is that he had a lot of solo hits. Don said he has to give a lot of credit to a couple of people. He mentioned someone named Danny and a drummer who worked with them on some things. Howard said he loves the song ''Dirty Laundry.'' Don said he does too. Howard talked the song up as if he were on WNBC. Don said the song is very 80s. Howard said it's still a great song though. Don said they knew it was going to be a hit when they'd have girls to the studio and they'd start dancing immediately. Howard said he must have had so many girls. Don said he's not talking about his own dirty laundry. Don said this is the only gold single he's got. He said that one guy thought it could be a hit and that's why they released it as a single. Don said that this was out in the 80s when they were still trying to get away from the Disco thing. This was a dance song. Howard said that Don wasn't moving around dancing in his music videos. Don said he isn't a dancer. Howard asked if they encouraged him to do that. Don said they didn't mess with him much. He said the solos in this song are the greatest. He said Joe Walsh and Stewart Smith did the solos.
Howard asked Don about another song that Tom Petty passed on that Don went with. That was ''Boys of Summer.'' Don said that this is about looking back and he has a thing about that. Howard asked Don if he called Glenn and rubbed it in his face that he had hits. Don said Glenn wished him well. He said he came to some of his concerts and cheered him on. He said Glenn had some hits of his own too. Howard said this is his retribution. Howard asked if he wanted to do it live. Don said they're going to do a very contemplative version of the song. He said that it's a slower version that they're going to do. Howard asked if the girls were ready. They said they were. Howard had them perform ''The Boys of Summer'' after that.
After the song Howard said that they could have won America's Got Talent with that performance. Howard said those harmonies are great. Don said that it's getting tougher with his voice. He said he doesn't drink when he's working. He said he loves red wine but he won't drink while he's working. Howard asked if he worries about drinking that. Don said he has it completely under control. He said in the 70s and 80s he may have called himself an alcoholic but not now. Don said he used to smoke but he hasn't done that in years.
Howard asked if it was hard for Don to be a father. don said not at all. He said that hey learned early on that he needed his space. Howard asked if his kids are musicians. Don said his son is but he's more interested in film making. Howard asked if he advised them not go into the business. Don said he told them there is no business.
Howard asked if the band is scared to play with him because if they screw up he's going to yell at them. Don said he screws up more than they do. He said he voice is hard to maintain. He said he had to work out for an hour before he came in. He said that he doesn't use his voice when he works out. He said he gets the blood flowing and he gets his lungs working. He said that he does that before every show he does. He said the other guys are in the room warming up their voices but that doesn't work for him.
Howard asked why he went back to the Eagles after such a big solo career. Don said that he didn't have a problem doing it. Robin asked who the leader of the band was. Don said it was always Glenn. H said that Glenn is the captain and he's the first mate.
Howard asked about the new album which is called ''Cass County''. Don said he finally mentioned it. Don said that's where he grew up. He said that's where the name came from. Howard asked if his parents got to see his success. Don said that his dad passed on pretty early but his mother lived well into the success. He said it never quite sunk in with her. He said she asked if he needed money until he was 50.
Howard said reuniting with the Eagles was a great thing for him then. Don said it was because he had more success with them than even on his own. He said that was their satellite. Howard asked if he had to tell them he was working on a solo album. Don said they don't have to do that. He said everyone is working on solo stuff.
Howard asked Don about the people he worked with on this new album like Merle Haggard, Miranda Lambert and others. Howard said he has Mick Jagger on the album too. Don said he didn't know him that well. He said a thing happened in the early 70s. He said The Eagles were playing a concert and he was a wreck. He said they were opening for the Stones. He said they only had one or two albums out and they didn't have a lot of songs to play. He said this was a benefit show and he was very nervous about it. Don said they were new and unsure of themselves and the Stones were there. Howard said you think that everyone is there for them. Don said they did their set and the audience went wild. He said that they were going to come back for an encore and Jagger was there listening. He said Mick leaned over to him and said 'They like you.'' Don said he thought that was so cool. He said he didn't have to do that. Howard said that the Beatles and the Stones were huge too so that must have meant a lot to him.
Howard asked how you work with Mick. Don said the next time he saw him was at a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame event. He said that he didn't get to talk to Mick though. Howard asked who inducted them into the hall of fame. Don said it was Jimmy Buffet.
Howard asked if they care about that hall of fame. Don said it's not that big of a deal to him but they did it to be good sports. Howard said there are so many great bands not in the Hall of Fame. Don said Chicago just got in. Howard said he should go complain to someone about that. don said that's not his cause.
Howard said he worked with Jagger, Dolly Parton and others on this new album. Don said she's incredible. He said she's a good song writer and a great singer. He said that she's so professional too. He said she came to the studio that day in Nashville and she was dressed to the nines. He said she had two little old ladies with her. One was a driver and the other was a hair dresser. Don said that she listened to the song he wanted to do and she said that she had done it in the past. He said she sang it a couple of times and thought the key was kind of high for her. Don said that's the key they recorded it in. She went with it. He said she had it perfect in about 2 takes. Don said that Mick did his thing in another city so he wasn't there for that. He said that's the way Mick wanted to do it so he let him do that.
Howard asked if he sent a note to Mick about that. Don said that he sent him a message. He said he doesn't have his phone number. He said that he is able to call Dolly though. He said that she got out of a hospital bed to come do a video with him. He said that she went back to the hospital after that. Howard asked where they even show videos now. Don said he's not sure. He said there's so much going on out there. He said he's on the Howard Stern Show too. He said this is fun but they have to do so much more these days. He said the haystack is so big that it's harder to find the needle.
Howard said he has a song from the new album to play today. Howard told the rest of the band not to fuck this up. Don said this is the song he did with Merle. He said it's called ''The Cost of Living.'' Howard and Don talked about the song for a short time. Howard asked if he's going to go to the Grammys. Don said he doesn't think so. He said the song that's nominated is nominated for something that's not televised. Howard had them perform the song after that.
After the song Howard said that he's an angel. Don said that's a song for grown ups. Howard said he's something else. Don said at this time of morning it's tough. Howard said he has nothing to apologize for. Howard said he knows that they're tight lipped about dating but Don was dating Stevie Nicks. He said that has to be so great to be with someone like that. Don said that it usually turns out to be problematic. He said that you both have pressure on you from other sources and you're in the spotlight. He said that he's glad they came up when they did because they didn't have TMZ around. He said they got away with a lot of nonsense. Don said it's tough to be famous. He said that's why so many celebrities break up. Howard said that it still must be great to collaborate with Stevie Nicks. Don said that he will always love her and it was a great thing. He said the list is long for couples like that who have broken up.
Howard asked Don if he knows he's the fourth most successful drummer in the world. Don said he's not sure where they get that information. He said they just make that shit up. Howard said Ringo is the most successful. Howard asked if he would rather have Ringo's career or his own. Don said Ringo is doing just fine. Don said he's fine with who he is. He said Ringo is a friend of his. He said that he has been to his birthday parties. He doesn't see him often but he is Joe's brother-in-law now. Howard asked if he would sign items for him. don said he doesn't even shake hands. He said he thinks it's a germ thing. Howard said he has that too.
Howard asked if they can play one more song. He asked them to play ''Please Come Home For Christmas.'' don said they can do that. They went into the song after that.
After the song Howard said they got him in the Christmas spirit. Howard said if you don't do them right it can come off kind of hoaky. Don said they need some new Christmas songs. He said he's tired of hearing the same old stuff all the time. Howard said he's going to let Don perform at his staff Christmas party. He said this was an audition. Howard asked if he's ever donee that for anyone. Don said they have done corporate things. He said they may have done a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah. He said they'll do it but it's expensive. Howard said that it must be crazy to think about the kind of money he's making at this point. Don said that it is. He said that the tax bills are crazy too. Don said that they have a very high overhead too. He said the Eagles have a crew of 80-100 people so they have to pay all of those people. He said it gets more expensive every year too.
Howard asked don what he does for fun. Don said he fishes and gardens. He said that he likes to parent too. He said that's his favorite thing to do. He said he cooks breakfast and takes them to school. He said he has done a good job of keeping them out of the limelight. He said that's why they live in Dallas. Howard asked if they listen to his music. Don said they listen on their own but they know that he doesn't want to hear it. don said he keeps up on new music through them but he's not into much of that new stuff. He said Bruno Mars is good though. He said he thinks he'll win a Grammy. Don said there are a few people who come along that he likes.
Howard said he read about Don's wedding and how Bruce Springsteen performed. Don said everyone performed. He said Billy Joel is a friend too. Howard said he has rock and roll friends. He said Billy is his friend. Don said he doesn't see him very often but they email. Howard said Jackson Browne, Sheryl Crow, John Fogerty and others performed. Howard said John got fucked over in the industry. Don said he thinks he's doing okay now.
Howard said Don Henley is something else. He thanked the band for not fucking up today. Howard gave Don a plug for his album ''Cass County'' and for his web site where you can find tour dates. Howard said that's at DonHenley.com. Howard said he got out of there unscathed today. Howard said that he wonders what he isn't telling him. Don said it'll all be in the book. Howard said that Glenn is going to hate that. Don said it'll be alright. Howard thanked them again and went to break a short time later.
Howard asked Vince to explain it one more time. Vince told him the story again how he went from a 9 1/2 to an 11 1/2. Vince said he knows it's not that important. Howard asked if he can use his feet to walk away from the phone right now. Vince said he can walk away from Jeff the drunk whenever he calls in.
Howard asked if he can make a suggestion. He said he may want to call the Jenny McCarthey show instead of this show. Vince said he has another question for Howard. Robin asked if you can predict how big a foot will get. Howard said Gary says that his foot went from a 10 to an 11. Gary said that JD has an article about it too. Howard said that's why Gary gets paid a lot of money.
Vince asked Howard if he has ever cried in front of his psychologist. Howard said he has cried a few times. He said he might cry over this call. Howard said it's hard for him to cry but the therapist thinks it's good that he's showing emotion. Vince said people think Howard has it easy but sometimes people don't know what you have to go through. Robin asked how Howard's feet are. Howard said he started out as a ''noine'' and now he's a 13. Howard said if this caller isn't the biggest low-light in his career. He said he just went from Don Henley to this. Howard said it was good talking to Vince. Howard asked what he does for work. Vince said he works in a warehouse so he does a lot of walking. Howard said Dr. Scholls might help him out.
Vince asked where he is with his contract negotiations. Howard said lets not talk about something boring like that. Lets talk about feet. Howard asked Vince more about his growing feet. Howard asked if he has gotten any professional advice on this. Vince said he has. Howard asked how his toenails are. Vince said all but one are good. He said one nail is split because he dropped a 45 pound thing on his toe. He said that he was stripping down a free weight machine and the weight fell on his toe. Howard said that's something.
Howard asked why he would think anyone would care about this. Vince said that it's hit or miss with things. Vince said he knows Howard hits a bad subject once in a while. Howard said that never happens. Vince asked Howard if he can find a tape of Robin going off on the guys there. Howard said no and hung up on him a short time later. Howard said that might be the worst call ever. Robin said that Bobo has nothing on that caller.
Howard had a song about Bobo to play. He said Robin will enjoy that. Howard played the song parody about Bobo calling in to the tune of ''Hotel California.'' Howard said poor Bobo is getting hit with shrapnel because of that bad call.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that the Don Henley interview was fantastic. He asked if Richard got excited when don said that Halloween is his favorite holiday. Howard said that guy is something else. He said he was good. Howard said it was a real thrill for him.
Richard came in and Howard said he loves the way he walks. He said he looks like a bullet. Richard said he had some wine last night. He said he had maybe 4 or 5. Robin said that's more than a bottle. Richard said he ate a big steak and appetizers. Howard asked if he's vomiting because he's trying to stay thin. Richard said he was up in the middle of the night and he had to puke. Howard said that's weird for a guy his age. Howard said that's what little kids do. Howard said he had that in college once. Howard said that he should play this clip too. He said he has Richard's dad leaving a message for Richard. Howard played that clip and Richard's dad was talking about getting some deer and making some deer sausage. Howard said that Isaac ate some of that stuff and he got sick. Richard said he has to ask his dad about ho much deer he got because he thinks it's based on the points on the antlers. Richard said he never had the patience to hunt like that. Howard said that he could never do that. He said he's too emotional about that stuff. Richard said he never went deer hunting. Howard said he can't kill anything.
Howard asked Richard if he shit in the Sirius bathroom while the cleaning lady was in there. Richard said she waits outside for him. Richard said that he did go shit in there but she waited outside.
Richard said Don Henley was great today. He said he started to tear up when he played ''The Boys of Summer.'' Howard asked what he was thinking about. Richard said it was just beautiful. He said he grew up on that song too. Howard asked if he really grew up. Richard said he grew. Howard let him go and got to news.
Robin said it's also the anniversary of John Lennon's death today. Howard said he was so brilliant. Robin said he would have been 75 years old this year. Howard said he was so brilliant. Howard said that he's so angry at the guy who killed John Lennon. Robin said Mark David Chapman has been denied parole 8 times since 2000. Robin said his next parole hearing is next August.
Howard said Don Henley recorded a song for Robin before he left. Howard played another Eagles song parody about her.
Robin had a list of John Lennon's greatest songs. Robin had Howard play the songs she picked. Howard didn't agree with all of her picks but he did agree with some.
Robin read a story about U2 bringing out Eagles of Death Metal at a show yesterday in Paris. Robin had audio of their introduction. Howard said he likes those guys but their band name isn't very good.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump calling for a ban of all Muslims to enter this country. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Howard said he has to work on his microphone technique. He's losing his voice from not using the microphone right. Howard said he's going to call him about that. Robin said that fellow republicans are turning on Trump after that. Howard said he's not sure why they're turning on him because he's saying the same things that Ted Cruz is saying. Robin had other people commenting on that Trump comment. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard asked Benjy if he shaved his head. He said it looks like he lost his hair. Benjy said he just pulled it back. Howard had him show it to him. Howard said it sucks to lose your hair. He said that it sucks for guys. Benjy said it's the worst thing in the world. Howard said Benjy has some hair up there. Howard said he thought he had shaved his head. Fred said he wasn't sure. He said Benjy did cut it.
Robin read a story about how people in the U.K. are asking to keep Donald Trump out of there because of hate speech laws. Howard said he will go up in the polls because of what he said. Howard said it's not right to base all of that on religion but he thinks he will go up in the polls. Howard said that he said early on that Trump will be the republican nominee. Robin said she thought he said he'd drop out. Howard said no and he insisted he said he would be the nominee. Howard said that Hillary will be the next president. He said he's sure of that. Robin read about the polls and how Hillary is doing right now. She said she's looking good right now. Howard said he's not sure why Trump is even running. He said that he should just enjoy his success. Robin said other people have ambitions and they want to do other things.
Robin read a story about an FBI special agent who says that it's likely that terrorists are going to use marriage visas to get into the country. Robin had some audio of that agent talking about that. Robin said they think that the San Bernardino shooter did that. That led to Howard doing his ISIS Hotline guy impression. Fred had all kinds of phones ringing as Howard was taking calls. He had one call from Roger Waters and the ISIS guy was saying that Roger is their hero. Howard kept that up for a few minutes. He was taking all kinds of questions. He made them all up as he was going along. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about some FOX news reporters who are getting some time off because of something they said on the air. Robin said that they were calling out Obama for his stance on fighting terrorism. Robin said FOX says they were inappropriate comments. Howard said they had this colonel on the air and he called the president a pussy. They suspended him over that. Robin said that's what she said. Howard said that's not something the guy knows about. Robin said that he has been on FOX News a lot so he should know. Robin had the audio of what he said. Robin said that Howard can say anything. Howard said that FOX is on cable. Robin said they are adhering to those broadcast standards. Robin said she's sure that they tell them to adhere to them too. Robin had Stacy Dash talking about Obama too and she almost said ''give a shit'' but stopped herself.
Robin read a story about the pentagon saying that two top ISIS leaders have been killed. Robin had some details about that. Fred started the ISIS Hotline thing again with phone rings. Howard went back into that for a short time.
Robin read a story about Jon Stewart going on The Daily Show to talk about the Zadroga Act last night. Robin had some details about that and Howard was still doing his ISIS Hotline thing.
Robin asked Howard what group gets the most hate according to the FBI. Howard said the Jews of course. Robin asked if that's his final answer. Howard said maybe Blacks or Mexicans. Robin said the FBI says it is the Jews. Robin said that crimes against Muslims is on the rise. Robin said that 59 percent of hate crimes are against the Jews. Howard did a live commercial read after that. Howard went back into the ISIS Hotline thing after that. He did that for a couple more minutes.
Robin read a story about a Hanukkah menorah that was vandalized near Gracie Mansion there in the city. Robin said it is back in service now. Robin said Mayor DeBlasio was there when it was re-lit last night. Howard had stopped his ISIS Hotline impression but got right back into it after that story.
Robin read a story about the FBI investigating after the head of a pig was left outside a mosque there. Howard said Jeff Goldblum left Robin a message. He played that for Robin. They had a phony Jeff Goldblum in that message. Robin wrapped up a short time later. Howard ended the show around 11:50am.
Jon said when Howard brings up something like that why does he hang it on her. Meg said she has a reputation with Howard and Robin. She said that they will play on that a lot. She said when they started to work together at WRNW she was digging deep into everything that was coming out. She said there was a lot of exciting punk rock stuff out and she was playing a lot of that and Howard may have seen her as a weirdo just over indulging.
Meg said that the terrorist hotline that Howard did today had music playing under it. She said that music came from an album that she sent to him years ago. Meg said she's glad that Howard made fun of it back then but they still use it. Gary came in so Jon asked Gary about that music. Gary said that's awesome when he heard the story about how she sent it to Fred. Meg said that it makes her laugh so hard when she hears it. Gary said the song that makes him laugh is the sitar version of ''Up, Up and Away.''
Meg asked if they have a Sam Kinison replay today. Jon said they do on Sternthology today. Jon said they have the segment where Meg was in and talked about Sam and his entourage coming into the station. Gary said Meg described it as Dante's Inferno. Jon said that will be on Howard 101 this afternoon.
Jon said today's they had Don Henley in. Jon said you always wonder when someone sits with Howard how it's going to go. Jon said that Henley has such a huge career. He said he still learned some new stuff he didn't know about him. Gary said he's a huge Eagles fan and a huge Henley fan. Gary said he gets nervous when a guest like that comes in. He said that they have two icons there and you just hope it goes great. Gary said Henley can be guarded but he thinks that because they had so much time that he was more than happy to talk about stuff. Jon said he seemed comfortable with Howard today. Meg said Henley was asked if he had a plan B and Don said he didn't have one. Meg said that she also loves that he has the first drum kit his mother got him.
Gary said there were parts where he thought Don wasn't taking credit for as much as he should. He said that he thought he was a lot nicer about things than he has to be. Jon said Don said that Glenn was the captain of the band and he's the first mate. Meg said he has accomplished so much. She said that sometimes people may say something publicly and you sound like you're bragging or arrogant. She said that he sounded very humble today. Meg said that she remembers Howard coming along at WRNW and in 1975 they were already hitting their stride. Jon said that Don's solo career was very successful too. He said that it continues today with his new album.
Jon said that don and Glenn were backing Linda Ronstadt too. He said that band became The Eagles. Jon said Howard thought they were crazy. Gary said that a lot of people on Jon Stewart's show left and went on to do big things and Howard wondered if he gets pissed but Jon says that it makes him look good when that happens. Gary said that Howard said that he's a better man than him. Meg said that Linda was able to look at them and let them go like that. Gary said Linda had to go out and find a whole other band to back her.
Jon said Linda Ronstadt had a hit song with Desperado and the Eagles didn't. Meg said in 1990 or 91 on Friday nights she would go off at 10 and Joe Walsh had a show. Meg said it was short lived because they were trying to shove a playlist down his throat. Meg said he did the show for a few weeks and Rick the Bass Player would be with him. She said she was driving home one night and they were playing ''Blue Sky'' by the Allman Brothers and over the whole thing Joe had the sound of a flushing toilet playing over it. She said she figured Joe wouldn't be back after that. She said that Joe would come in and play the 12 string in the studio and people like Paul Shaffer would come in and sit in on the show. She said it shows the power of that song ''Desperado.'' Gary said they have some great versions of that song that they did on the show. Jon said now they have Don doing it on the show too. They went to break after that.
Jon asked Meg if there are people who know better than others about radio. Meg said she doesn't think some of the people who programmed the stations knew. She said a lot of that is based on focus groups and things like that. She said radio got screwed.
Gary asked if there was a record in her career that she was given to play that broke the camel's back. Meg said she has one. She said she was on the air at K-Rock and she had a lot of fun there for a while. Then they decided to tightly format the station. Meg said she left the station one day and she was done. She said the band was Heart. She said she doesn't remember the band though. Meg said that they wanted her to play Heart and that was it for her. She said the song is now on in commercials. Meg said that she and Tony Pig took the album and melted it into an ashtray with their lighters. She said she misses Tony Pig. Gary said that guy was fun. Meg said he's the voice on Michael and Kelly. She said he was a great guy to listen to. She said whenever she runs into him she has told him to come in and talk about it. She said he is so soured on it that he won't even have the conversation.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he feels bad for Beth. He said when Howard isn't getting the attention that he needs he's going to be miserable around Beth. He said he thinks he's lost his mind with the card thing that happened today. He said that it bothers him that he has to stick it in his bag and bring it home. He said it seems like he's lost his mind. Gary said he so didn't see that coming today. Gary said he feels bad for him on some level. Gary said he thought about sending it to whenever but he has a few addresses. Gary said he put cards in his bag in the past and he never got that kind of feedback. He said he was saying to Jon today that what bothers him is that it's such a dumb argument. Gary said he got mad today and he fought back. He said he doesn't know why that makes him so angry.
Jon said he thinks Gary got angry because he was really hurt and upset. Jon said Gary went out of his way to do a nice thing for Howard and in turn he got berated on the air. Jon said that he was goofed on about how he looks in the card too. Jon said that Howard was just trashing something that Gary did. Gary said he was questioning his competency. Gary said you would have thought he shit on the floor during dinner.
Meg asked Gary if this shows him how they really feel about him there. Gary said that Howard will say he tells him he's good and he has kept him there this long. Gary said that it's like he has to refuel the engine by pouring more fuel on the fire. Jon said that Howard wonders how Gary doesn't know what to do. Gary said he cant read his mind. He said if Carol Leifer sent a card there he'd put it in Howard's bag. He said Howard could have shredded the card. He said that would be better than the carrying on. He said if he didn't send a card Howard might have gone off on him about that. He said this was the quickest way to get him a card. Gary said he feels bad for Howard that this is the shit that bothers him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that this will pass. Gary said it will always pass. He wondered why it has to begin. The caller said that Howard is getting like Imus. Gary said he doesn't think so. He said he's becoming and older guy. Gary said he's getting older too and there's shit that bothers him that didn't bother him in the past.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if he felt like it was damned if you do and damned if you don't kind of thing. Gary said that if he did mail it he would have made fun of the card anyway.
Jon asked Meg what she thinks about this. Meg said that she gets the damned if you do and damned if you don't. She said that she got skewered on the air too at K-rock. She said the humor of the show depends on a target and Gary is the bullseye at times. She said that she gets it. Gary said Howard is the master debater and he can take either side of things. They went to break a short time later.
Meg said she was surprised that what didn't come up was that the Walden Woods project stuff. Meg said she was working for VH-1 and they had a big concert for that and she remembered all of that when they were talking about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame stuff and Jimmy Buffet came up. Gary said there were some other things missing from today's interview and there are so many things that are intertwined. The guys talked about the hall of fame thing and talked about how not all of the members were there for that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Howard will pick on Gary one day and then JD another. He said he targets guys on different days. He asked if they could all gang up on Howard. Gary said they all think about how to fuck with their boss. Meg said that would be a good move. Gary quoted Howard when he said ''I prank people. I don't get pranked!''
Meg said she wonders if Howard has ever stopped to think about being able to dish it out and not being able to take it. She said that she turned the tables on Howard once playfully and it can turn into a relentless thing. She said she called Howard such a baby and she thought that smoke was going to come out Howard's ears.
Gary said he wonders if Howard goes to his shrink and talks about picking on him. Then he thinks about how narcissistic that is. He said maybe not even with the shrink but maybe if he thinks about beating up on him and just thinks he can take it. Jon said he thinks that Gary can take it and Howard has seen that so he think he can handle it.
Jon said Howard went out with Denise Olivier and he talked about how he wishes he could have gone out to dinner earlier. Jon said that she put Howard and Robin together in Washington DC. Jon said it's almost like another language they can speak when they go out. Jon said Howard appreciates what she has done for him. Jon said he may not show it when it's happening to him.
Meg said she thinks what's remarkable is that Howard made these decisions to bring them on and they're all still there. She said that you see the changes happening all the time and you see Jackie do what he did and Artie doing what he did but it's amazing that the rest of them are still together. She said so much of it is based on some sort of loyalty. She said he is loyal to the people who work for him. Gary said it's a double edged sword. Gary said he thinks that he's given loyalty back. He said Howard will say sometimes that he should have replaced him 20 years ago. He said that really bites.
Gary said that Jackie was on the Wrap Up Show a few years ago and he was busting his chops so he told him that he's still standing and he's not.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary has every right to get upset. He said that he agrees that Howard is off his rocker. He said the Don Henley interview was great. He said that the Don Felder book was great too. The caller said Howard is always talking about harmony and stuff and the Eagles are probably the best at that. Gary said in the video for Hotel California they all huddle up and sing ''7 Bridges Road'' together and then go out and do Hotel California. He said it's just amazing. Jon said that 5 part harmony is something very special. Meg said they sounded really good on the show today too. Gary said one of the backup singers is the daughter of one of the Doobie Brothers. He said he's fascinated with all of that kind of stuff.
Meg said that she loved the story about Dolly Parton that Don told. He said that he just sounded like such a fan of her's. Jon wrapped up the show after that. He got in some plugs and ended the show around 12:35pm.
Howard started the show asking if Robin is awake today because she was out with his wife last night. Robin said she's fine. She said she got out of the theater after 10 and not to sleep until after 11. She said it's just once a week. She said she's there and on time and she sounds more awake than Howard. Fred agreed that she was pretty peppy. Robin said she saw Spring Awakening. Robin said that Marlee Matlin is in it and she said to say hello to him. Howard asked if she said it in sign. Robin said she spoke it. Howard asked if she understood it. Robin said she did. Howard said he thinks she's terrific. Howard said he'd fuck her. Robin said she is beautiful. Howard said he has never had sex with the deaf. He said he thinks that would be excellent.
Howard said he has a fantasy about her taking him to her house and he bangs her in front of her boyfriend. He said he'd tell her that he'd stick a finger in her asshole but she wouldn't hear it. Howard said she is a very good looking woman.
Howard said he's talking to Robin so he wants to remind everyone that it's their last week next week before they go off into the ether. He said that it's their last 3 shows. Howard said they are having a Christmas special and they will have a wonderful show. Howard said he has a clip from the show that they'll be doing. Howard said this is a part where everyone is late and he's upset because it's Christmas. Howard said there's a knock on the door and then you hear the wind blowing and Robin knocks and look who it is. Howard played a clip of Robin singing a Christmas song. Howard said then Robin comes in and she won't shut up. Robin keeps singing that song. Howard was laughing at her screwing up the song.
Howard said George Takei will also be in that special. He said there will be 6 songs that he performs during that special. Howard played some of his part in the Christmas special. Howard said that he won't play much of that since he wants to save it for next week. Howard played a couple of different clips of George singing. Howard said it's all great.
Howard said Fred does a song with his band too. Howard said that everyone gets sad and George Takei cheers everyone up with a song. Howard played some of that where George sings about getting fisted. Howard said he's so good in that. Howard said George will do his Little Drummer Boy thing too. Howard played some of that song. Howard said he's so good that they're going to put out a whole album of his music. Howard played a commercial parody for the album where George is singing about getting fucked to the tune of Christmas music.
Howard said he has a duet between Sal and Tan Mom in the special. Howard gave Robin a little tease for that too. Howard said this will be happening live next week. Howard said in this one there's a knock on the door and Sal is there with Tan Mom. Howard said she's almost nude and Sal is fondling her when they break into this song. He played a little bit of that. Howard said Tan Mom sounds sexy in that.
Howard said it's going to be an amazing special. He said he had a special ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' song parody too. They just put bells and Santa ''Ho, ho, ho'' over the song parody. Howard said that Charlie Sheen will visit too. He said he is doing 6 songs. Howard played some teasers for the fake Charlie Sheen's songs. He had a few different songs where Charlie is singing about HIV and things like that. Howard said Charlie is going to do a few other songs. He played just a couple of seconds of each.
Howard said there will be more surprises during the special. He said Gary has a song. He said he should tease that too. Howard played a clip of Gary singing about hand delivering his Christmas card.
Howard read some of the mail he got about that card thing. Some people were asking it if was really that big of a deal to carry a Christmas card. Howard said that he should have looked at it and then ripped it up and thrown it away there at work. He said he wanted Beth to see it though.
Howard read more mail and people were saying that he should talk to his shrink about that. Howard said one guy wrote that he's being a complete asshole about the card. Howard said they called Robin an ass kiss for going along with him. Howard played another song that Gary sang about giving him that card to carry home.
Howard read more email about the card and one person asked if everything is okay. Gary said he really doesn't understand why he gets so upset by this. He said he should just ignore Howard. Howard said he's trying to teach Gary. He said he takes his cards and he sends out about 600. He said he doesn't hand them to anyone. He mails them. Howard said he'll ask people for their address if he doesn't have it. Howard said that Gary gave him the card. Gary said he actually put it in his bag. Howard asked why he gave it to him. Gary said he wanted him to have it quicker or something. Howard said that's strange. Gary said it's not the worst transgression in the world. Howard said of course it's not. He said that Gary mailed his cards to everyone but him. Gary said this is the dumbest conversation since the bar stools. Howard told him not to get him started on that. Howard got started on that. He said that he has a bar in his basement and he has bar stools to sit on to watch TV. Robin asked if you're facing the movie screen. Gary said you face the other way. Howard said that's ridiculous. He said you have to spin around to see the TV. Gary said you don't.
Howard said Gary is a funny guy. He said he wants to get him off the card thing and he brings up another thing that he gets upset about. Gary said it makes Howard look moronic.
Howard read an email from someone who agreed with him about the card not being mailed. That guy told Gary that he should listen to Gary. Howard read more from people who hate him for that stuff. Howard said someone said that's why Gary unfriended him. Robin asked if they're still unfriended. Gary said they are because he'd have to ask Howard to friend him again if he wanted it back.
Howard said he has been throwing out a lot of stuff in his bag and he'd like to go home hands free. He said he doesn't want to carry Gary's mail. He told Gary to just mail it to his house. Howard said he was throwing shit out in his bag and he sees Gary's fucking card in there. He said his kids are towering over him.
Howard said Gary shouldn't stand dead on to the camera. He said he should turn his body to look thinner. Gary said he's got it. He said that he was on vacation at the time. Howard said it doesn't matter. He said he should stand on a box next to his sons. Gary said he has done that before. Howard said Jackson looks like Gary's dad at this point. He said he's so much taller. Howard said this kid could probably beat up Gary. Gary said he might be able to take Lucas but not Jackson. Howard said he's glad he didn't have sons. He said they could beat the shit out of him.
Howard took a call from Gary's Christmas Card. It was The Lump calling in as the card. Howard spent a minute talking to the card and the Card said that he got to ride in the bag of a big star. Howard said he sees Bobo is on the phone so maybe he should stay on. The card said he'd stay on but Howard let him go anyway.
Howard told Jeff if he has him on Periscope he's going to hang up on him. Jeff said he's not on Periscope. Shuli told him to take it off speakerphone. Jeff did have him on there. He said that he has had him on it before. Howard said it's annoying and it's hard to understand. The phone started squealing. Jeff switched it over and it made more noise. Howard said now he's off speaker and it sounds worse. He said he's not sure that he's going to have Jeff on the Christmas special. Jeff sounded down so Howard said this is sad Jeff.
Howard said Shuli has a special report. He said now Jeff is going to get attention. Jeff said he doesn't want this kind of attention. Howard got The Lump on the phone and said that Jeff is really down today. The Lump said that he should be in the Christmas special but not Jeff. Howard said they already have a part for him.
Jeff told Howard this is why he's so depressed. He said all he does is shit all over the show he did in L.A. Howard said that's because the show was awful. Shuli said that Jeff surrounds himself with Yes people. He said he's not sure how he gets them.
Howard said this story is amazing. Howard said that Shuli interviewed Jeff and it's very interesting. Shuli said this story came to him via Jeff's people. He said he just wants people to know this. Howard played the clip and Shuli said that Jeff got a blow job from someone in L.A. Jeff said what happens behind closed doors is something that happened behind closed doors. Then Jeff admits he got one out there. Howard said he figured it was from a dude. Howard said it was some chick. Howard said that they have a picture of her and she's attractive. Howard said she's 50-ish but she's hot. Howard said he wants to see her. Shuli showed him and she is hot according to Howard.
Howard played more of the audio of Jeff talking about how he got her. Jeff said that he got the blow job that night while her kid was asleep. Jeff said he got a blow job and it was at least a 10. Jeff said that he lasted about 4 minutes. The Lump said that girl got to meet Jeff the Spunk.
Shuli told Howard that the girl was okay with him getting her number so he gave her a call. Howard played the audio of the girl talking about how rude they are. She said that she knows it's part of the show but they could have said something nice about Jeff's show. She said that's why she's annoyed. She said that she didn't find Jeff through the show. She said she's not a fan of the show. Robin asked if she's really upset about the way they talked about Jeff's show. Howard said she is. Howard played more of the audio and the woman was claiming she liked Jeff's show. She said that it was supposed to be what it was. Howard said Jeff has a groupie. Howard said he's like Hendrix. Shuli said that he thought she was nuts when she blew him but now that she said she liked his show he knows she's nuts. Howard said this woman is good looking too. He said Sal would die getting this woman.
The Lump said that he has groupies like the one armed drummer from Def Leppard. The guys talked about how she may look back on this as the low point in her life.
Howard asked if Jeff showered before his BJ. Jeff said of course he did. He said he showered when he got back from the show. Shuli said they were all staying in the same hotel. Jeff said that she came over while he signed autographs in his room.
Howard said years ago Jeff had sex with a porn star and she ended up breaking down crying. Howard played a clip of that and then got back to the woman who blew Jeff. The woman said that most people had a good time at his show except for a few.
Howard asked how long it was before she started blowing him. Jeff said it was maybe a half hour. Howard asked what he talked about. Jeff didn't have much to say so The Lump said he has amazing communication skills.
Jeff said that the woman was wearing a mini-skirt. The Lump said she was wearing a hospital gown from the loony bin. He said next week she's giving High Pitch Eric a rim job. Howard laughed.
Howard asked if the girl is the one making all the moves. Jeff didn't get to answer since The Lump was making comments. Howard said that it has to be entertaining watching him sign his autograph.
Jeff said this was all prearranged. He told them not to worry about the details. Jeff was giving him an attitude. Howard said that he can't even get the story out. Shuli said this wouldn't even happen if it wasn't for Howard. He said he's not sure why Jeff is so upset. He said he was crying at one point because he was getting so many packages from the fans. Howard said that he got a blow job from a good looking woman and he won't even talk about it. Shuli said he asked where he finished and Jeff said a gentleman never tells.
Robin asked how he prearranged it. Jeff said he talked to her. Shuli asked if she said she was going to blow him when he came out there. Jeff said it was something like that. Jeff said that she was the one who initiated it too. He was mumbling so the guys were goofing on him about that.
Howard asked if she unzipped his pants and took out his penis. Jeff said they started making out first. Howard sounded like he was going to throw up. Howard said they made out and then she started doing what. Jeff said she gave him a hand job and he stuck a finger in her. Howard said good for Jeff. He said she's very attractive. Robin asked if he's still talking to her. Jeff said he is. He even caller her his girlfriend.
Howard said he's stumped about this. He asked if he's sure she was never a man. Jeff said he's sure. He said she has 4 kids. Howard said there's a good chance she's a woman. Howard said imagine Jeff becomes their step-dad. Robin said imagine they find out their mom gave Jeff a blow job.
Howard asked Jeff if he hung out with her after that. Jeff said they did. He said he was with her for about an hour or so. Howard asked why no intercourse. Jeff said because they just didn't have nay. Howard asked if she didn't offer it. Jeff said he's sure if he wanted it then it would have happened. Jeff said he prefers a blow job. Howard asked Jeff if he sits in a chair. Jeff said he was laying on the bed. Shuli said that Jeff won't do one ounce of work. Howard said he feels bad for women when the have to blow him. Howard said he'd give this woman a purple heart for doing this.
Howard asked Jeff if he was fully nude. Jeff said he just had his pants off. Howard said good move. Howard said you have to cover up that shit. Howard said that he didn't show his ass. Jeff said no. The Lump said you should have seen her giving him a hand job while wearing a straight jacket.
Shuli said Jeff should be happy. Jeff was mumbling something that was hard to understand. Jeff said that he's bummed because of what Howard said about his show. Howard said it wasn't that good. He said no one is interested in Jeff without this show either. Howard told him not to be so down. Robin said there is one woman who is interested in him. That woman. Howard said she found out about him because of this show though. Howard said he was in L.A. because of this show. Robin said she says she's not a listener though. Howard said Jeff should be thrilled that he got blown. He said he should be thanking him. Howard said Jeff is just like ''fuck you guys'' instead. Jeff thanked them after Shuli said he should have called in every day thanking them. Jeff thanked them and hung right up.
Howard played the clip of the woman crying after trying to have sex with Jeff. Howard said that's the greatest. Shuli said he thinks Jeff was still in the room smoking a cigarette while she was balling. Howard played a Christmas song parody about Jeff the Drunk. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked what Fred was playing. Fred said it's Prince singing ''Creepy'' from Radiohead. Howard said he had no idea. He had to listen to some of it. Howard said he likes the singing part but not the guitar solo. Howard said he wanted to hear the singing. He said he loves this song. Robin said she realized it was Prince after hearing some of it. Howard said someone told him about Prince performing it in the dark at Coachella. He said that's his thing to do it in the dark.
Howard said someone wrote in and asked about doing the top 5 songs again since he missed it yesterday with Robin singing all 5. Howard played the top 5 and had Robin and others singing. He had Mariann from Brooklyn singing a few of the songs too. Howard said that goes right through you. He said they don't have any Autotune on those songs. He said it's draining him hearing it.
Howard said stopping by on the show is Ike Barinholtz. He said he's on a roll. He said he's in the show ''Mindy'' and he's in the new movie ''Sisters'' with Amy Poehler and Tina Fey.
Ike came in and told Howard that he's going to be on General Hospital. He was talking about Bobo and telling Howard that Bobo is the worst caller to the show. He said he's a fucking idiot. Howard asked if he wants to tell him that to his face. Ike said he would. Ike said he's obsessed with Bobo but he doesn't like him. He said no one likes him. He said they barely tolerate him. Ike said he is not jealous of Bobo. Howard had Bobo on the phone so he could talk to him.
Howard told Ike to take a breath and talk to Bobo. Ike said he likes when Bobo calls because that General Hospital thing was great. He said that he found himself missing him when he was gone during the summer. Ike said he was angry because he missed his stupidity. He said he played a clip of Bobo pretending to fall of his treadmill and it was great. He said he loves hating Bobo. Ike said he downloaded Periscope and watched Bobo on there because Howard played that clip. Howard said maybe he's a genius because he got him to like him that way. Ike said that there is no way Bobo is a genius. Howard played a song parody about Bobo after that. Howard said that was from James Cargill.
Howard said Ike is coming off as a fan of Bobo's. Ike said he is but his questions are awful. Bobo said that it spawns into these songs and stuff. Ike said Howard is the genius for making Bobo interesting. Bobo said of course he is. Bobo said the reason he's calling in is because he loved that Don Henley interview. He said he loves when Howard gets people to talk about the lyrics in their songs. Ike said that Bobo should call in and do it this way. He did his Bobo impression and asked a question. He asked which Wack Packer he'd have dinner with if he had to. Howard went through Elephant Boy and Tan Mom and asked if she's even a Wack Packer. Ike said that he thinks she is but Natalie Maines insists she's not. Ike said he's scared of Natalie. He said that he goes along with whatever she wants. Howard asked if she's working on other celebrities to get them on her side. Ike said it seems she is.
Ike said that the Wack Packer thing could be any of them. Howard said he cant go with Beetlejuice. Howard said he thinks it might be Eric the Actor. Howard said he was interesting on some level. Howard said he thinks that's who he'd pick. Ike told Bobo that's how you ask a question.
Howard asked Bobo if he even asked a question. Bobo said that you don't always have to hit it out of the park. Bobo said he had a good Fred question a few weeks ago. Ike said it wasn't that good. Howard played another song parody about Bobo from James Cargill.
Ike said he likes the people on the fringe. He said that Bobo is like Rupert Pupkin. Ike did more of his Bobo impression asking Howard about having a threesome with someone from the show. He said when Bobo fell off the treadmill everyone was commenting and Bobo is pretending. He said people were all saying ''fuck you'' to him. Howard said Bobo never thinks about stopping his calls to the show. Howard asked Bobo if he had a question. Bobo said he did and when he started to ask it Howard said he has to go and hung up on him. Fred played snoring sounds.
Howard asked Ike about writing for the Mindy Kaling show. Ike said they're on Hulu now. Ike said he has like one million, one hundred thousand dollars if you added everything up. Howard asked if his wife is a fan of the show. Ike said she is. He said she's been listening forever. Howard said that would make sense if two people were into something like that. Ike said that Chris Rock's wife never got Howard and they're divorced now. He said Chris chose Howard.
Howard asked Ike about going through Second City and being on MAD TV. Ike said he was on there when he was like 25. Howard said that's why he was never on Saturday Night Live. Ike said Saturday Night Live was great. He said he loved some of the people on that show. Howard asked if he should have held out for Saturday Night Live. Ike said he was a bus boy in L.A. at the time and he doesn't think so. Howard said that you can't turn down MAD TV. Ike said he thinks that Amy Poehler held out. He said that she could have been on a TV show before Saturday Night Live but she held out for Saturday Night Live because that's what she wanted to do. Ike said Amy went to New York and started UCB there. Howard said they liked her and they wanted her to be on Ellen's show and she turned them down. Ike said that's right. He said he's not sure how you turn that down. He said that she loves Howard too. Howard said he loves Amy. He said he didn't know that story about her.
Howard said he thinks that Lorne Michaels has something against people being on other shows like Saturday Night Live. Ike said he thinks he should. He said some people have made the change though. Ike said that he had fun for the first year on MAD TV. He said that he struggled on the show though. He said that they had some great people on the show and it was a great experience. He said by the end he was done though.
Howard said now Ike is in sisters. Howard said that he has the movie and he's going to watch it this weekend. Howard said Gary saw it and said it was great. Howard said he's going to watch it. Ike said he hopes he likes it.
Ike said that he plays Amy's boyfriend in the movie. He said that Tina is the wild child and Amy is the good sister. Howard said they seem to be in love with each other. Ike said they should just scissor and get it over with. Ike said that they are fun to work with. He said they're so cool too. He said they're not assholes. Howard said he thinks they're both hot. He said that Tina doesn't even know she's hot. Ike said she's coming in next week. Howard said that's right. He said he likes talking to her.
Howard asked if it's true that he tried to turn his mom onto the show. Ike said that his mom loves Howard but she hasn't heard the show in awhile. He said that he turned the show on one day in the car and they were right in the middle of one of Ronnie's sex tips. He said he was telling his mom how great the show is these days and then he turns it on and it's Ronnie talking about cum. He said that's what his mom hears. Howard said the show is kind so schizophrenic. Howard said it can be that or him talking to someone in an intelligent way. Ike said he turned on Howard 101 and it was Richard talking about having snatch lips on his asshole.
Howard said Ike was trying to get his mom into the show and then she hears that. Ike said his mom is like 63. He said she loves Howard but it was intense to hear that Ronnie stuff. He said that stuff is hard core. Fred played a bunch of Ronnie clips while they were talking about that. Howard said Ronnie has more Twitter followers than most celebrities.
Howard asked if Ike follows the Wack Packers on Twitter. Ike said that's too much. He said he has seen Jeff's Periscope but he won't follow him. He said that these guys get so pissed when they get hung up on by Howard.
Howard asked Ike about what he thinks about JD. He said he has a relationship with him on there. Ike said that JD is very good on Twitter. He said it's bright and articulate. Then he comes in the studio. Ike said that the sheets thing was gross. He said he was sleeping in feces and piss. Howard said he met JD's girlfriend last Christmas and she seemed normal. Ike said Richard's wife seems normal and nice too. Howard said he's not sure how you date someone who doesn't wash their sheets in a year.
Howard got back to the movie ''Sisters'' and who came up with the idea to go up against Star Wars. Ike said it's like counter programming. Ike said he can't wait to see Star Wars but he won't go opening week. He said he's not going to sit next to Darth Nihilus. He did his impression of that guy who Gary Garver interviewed.
Ike said he thinks there are people who will go to see the movie. Howard said he figured that everyone would just shut down while Star Wars is happening. Howard said Tina and Amy can open a movie. Ike said they can because they're like a global brand now.
Howard said there are times that Amy and Tina look like movie stars now and maybe they're too hot. Ike said he thinks their charm shines through. He said you can laugh and be turned on at the same time. Robin said Tina has always been pretty. Howard said that the trend now is for these women to be naked. Howard asked if they show anything in the movie. Ike said they don't. He said Tina's tits are like the third lead in the movie.
Ike said that they were shooting the movie up in Oyster bay and this guy Eric Green comes to him and tells him to look outside. He said he thought it was an old lady but it turns out it was Jackie Martling. He said they saw Jackie out there. He said Jackie lives out there and he stopped by to see what was going on. That led to Ike doing an impression of Jackie in a movie he did. Howard said they should have put him in the movie. Ike said he just hung around for a few minutes before they took him away.
Howard asked Ike if he wrote the movie ''Suicide Squad.'' Ike said he didn't but he's in the movie. Howard said he never read that comic. Ike told Howard about the villains in the movie and how it's the biggest movie he's ever done. He said that the budget was like $250 million or something. Howard asked who Ike plays. Ike said that he told the guys that he was going on Howard and he was going to talk about the movie but they told him he can't say anything about the movie. He can't even tell Howard who he plays. Howard said the security is insane on some of these movies. Ike said that Jared Leto is in the movie playing the Joker. He said he was in character the whole time. He said he keeps himself separate from everyone.
Ike said Will Smith and Margot Robbie are in it too. He said she was going around tattooing people. Howard said she is so hot. Ike said she is hot. He said she's a cool chick too. He said everyone is on their game trying to impress her. He said that his end game at best is to go back to his hotel room and shove his TV remote up his ass. Ike said Margot asked if he wanted a tattoo and he asked his wife about it and she said that if he did it would show what kind of man he is.
Ike said that they were rehearsing and Jared Leto was sending a guy in to do all kinds of weird shit. He said this was in rehearsal a month before they were shooting. He said he was doing shit and he was hard core into that character. Ike said he likes that though. He said he'd rather not hear someone talking about the Met game the night before right before a shoot where he becomes the Joker. He said that's the way you have to play it.
Howard asked if Will Smith is in the movie. Ike said he's the greatest. Howard said he thinks he's coming in. Ike said that Jada is hot. Howard said she really is. Ike said he and Will had to shoot almighty one night. He said it was the night of the big fight. He said that Will got 3 movie screenings during lunch to see the fight. He said it must have cost 200 grand. Ike said that they had a party where DJ Jazzy Jeff came out and performed with Will too. He said you only want to do Will Smith movies. He said his life is so crazy. He said Howard has to talk to him. Howard said he has to. Ike said the guy is super humble and super nice.
Howard said he wonders how many times a day Will bangs Jada. Howard said look at Ike hanging out with all of these guys. Ike said he's very lucky.
Howard said they know this guy who is a big fan of Star Wars and they had a Harrison Ford impersonator call the kid and they reveal all of the fake plot details to him and the kid cries. Howard played the clip for Ike. Wolfie was out at a convention and asked this kid some questions. The kid had some trouble talking. After playing that Howard said they called the kid and told him that he won the chance to speak to Harrison Ford. Howard played that clip next. Sal calls the guy and tells him he won the chance to talk to Harrison Ford. The guy freaked out. Then they have a Harrison Ford impersonator telling the guy what happens in the movie and the guy is stumbling over his words and freaks out about the fake plot details he just learned. The guy ends up crying over it and then hangs up. The Harrison Ford guy calls him a pussy.
Howard said they had to call the guy and calm him down. Ike said he wonders if he'll see Sisters opening weekend. Howard asked Ike if he's in Neighbors 2. Ike said they just shot it. Howard said he's got some career going. He asked Ike if he's going to stay in comedy or will he do drama too. Ike said he'll do whatever.
Howard asked Ike who he would save if he had to save one of either Seth Rogen or Amy and Tina if they were in a sinking boat. Ike said that's like Sophie's choice. He said he might save Seth. He said he loved when Seth called into the show from Michael Strahan's dressing room. He said that he and Seth both like weed. He said that Seth is the greatest.
Howard said Seth is great and he talks about smoking all the time. Ike did an impression of Seth. Howard asked Ike about smoking because he can't do it. Howard asked if he gets self conscious. Ike said he likes to do it by himself at home and watch the news. Howard asked if there's a problem if he smokes at home alone. Ike said that there probably is. He said that his wife used to smoke but she can't handle the new stuff that's so intense.
Ike said he goes to a guy who was like a surfer dude who told him that he could set him up. He said you don't have to go to a doctor to get a prescription. Ike said in Atlanta you can't do that. Ike said they did Neighbors 2 and the other stars are like 20 year old girls. Howard asked Ike how old he is. Ike said he's 38. He said it's hard not to be creepy in front of 20 year old girls.
Howard said Ike has a lot going on. He said he has that Neighbors 2 movie coming out next May and this Sisters movie coming out next week. Howard gave him some more plugs for all of that and said that Ike is making the valid point that Star Wars will be packed and you'll be sitting next to some asshole in a Stormtrooper outfit so go see Sisters. Howard said that you can wait for the crowd to die down before seeing Star Wars.
Ike quoted an old clip from the show and he had it close so Howard said he really has it down. Howard asked if he does an impression of Ben Carson. Ike said he does. He said that Ben has a voice like a pervert. He did his impression of Carson talking to a prostitute. Howard asked if he's into politics. Ike said he is. He said he's a big Hillary supporter. Howard said he knew that Trump's poll numbers were going to go up and he was right. He said they're up since his rant the other day. Ike said he thinks there will come a time when he won't be able to walk the streets of New York.
Ike said he has a story about Brian Posehn seeing a guy who looked familiar to him. He said Brian kept asking the guy where he knew him from. It turns out that it was Fred Goldman and Fred told him that OJ murdered his son. Howard said that probably happens to him a lot.
Howard said Ike is also co-writing a movie called ''Central Intelligence.'' Ike said that he and his writing partner are working on that. He told Howard they sold the script like 6 years ago. He said that they didn't make big money on that. Howard said that they wrote it a long time ago. He said that every few years they get a couple of people who might do it but then it goes away. Howard said he's also working on a movie for Amy Poehler. Ike said he is and told Howard how all of that works.
Howard said Ike is really busy. He said he's like the new Seth Rogen. He asked if he's writing a new Police Academy movie. Ike said they wrote it already. He said that they did that for Key and Peele. He said Howard should have them on. Ike said that they kind of sold it like a year and a half ago. He said in the last year and a half the perception of police has changed so it will be interesting to see if it gets made. Howard said he'd love to see that made. Howard said they have to have Tackleberry back. Ike said he died. He said so did Bubba Smith.
Howard said he's very happy for Ike. He said that Gary gave ''Sisters'' a 9 teeth review. Howard said he has a clip of Sour Shoes to play. Ike said he called him in the green room earlier. Ike did his Steve Langford impression talking to Sour.
Howard said they asked Sour to do a recording of Gary saying ''Noine'' and he said he would do it but only if he could do it 109 times. Howard played some of that audio and Ike said he thinks that guy is one of the most talented people in the world. He said he's not exaggerating at all. Howard played a clip of Sour doing his Gary impression and using that ''noine'' thing in the impression a lot. Then he had Gary singing Adele's song ''Hello.'' Ike was cracking up. Sour was making all kinds of references to Gary stuff. Ike said he always mentions Sonos and Trampolines. He said he loves all of that inside stuff.
Howard talked to Ike about the Margot Robbie tattoo thing and asked if his wife is hot. Ike said she is. He said when the picture leak was going on she was talking about how much it sucks. He said that she said that he used to send her naked pictures and she still has them. He said she's one of those freaks who does Yoga once a year and stays in shape.
Howard asked Ike if she prepares his tax return. Ike said she is a CPA but he thinks she sends that stuff out to someone else to do. Howard said that he can tell other chicks who think he's vapid that he's married to a CPA. Howard asked if she would win the hottest CPA in America award. Ike said she could. He told Howard how he met her and how nervous he was when he met her.
Howard said Ike must know he's a good looking dude. Ike said he knows. Howard asked how much he can bench. Ike said maybe 300. He said he can do more push ups than Scott. Howard said he can't do one before his head starts hurting.
Howard asked when Ike got laid for the first time. Ike said he got it in high school once and then he hit a stride at 18 or 19. Ike said he was in Las Vegas when he met his wife. He said Nicole Sullivan from MAD TV was there with him and she walked over and helped him talk to her. Ike said that she gave a quick intro and said some nice things about him to get it going. Howard asked if he banged her the first night. Ike said no but he was laughing awfully hard. Ike said he would fly out to Manhattan to see her every week. He said he'd wrap with MAD TV and fly out to New York. Howard asked if he had a few girls in L.A. to bang too. Ike said once he met his wife he was done. He said that he was around 29 when he met her. He said that his friend asked what the fuck he was doing and then that guy met Ali Larter and he fell for her like he fell for his wife so he got it.
Ike said that he reads the Yoda book to his daughter and his daughter makes him read it like 3 times a night. Howard got in a plug for his wife's new Yoda book ''Yoda Gets A Buddy'' since they were talking about it. Howard said that it's a charitable donation and it's great for kids.
Howard said he goes home in the afternoon and he hangs out with the kittens. He said he talks baby talk with them and it's great.
Howard said that he's been drinking mold free coffee lately. Howard asked Ike what the best coffee is. Ike said that it's bullet coffee. He said if you put butter in it then it's supposed to be really good. He said it makes you shit immediately. Ike told Howard to try Coffee Bean coffee too. Howard said he doesn't go there. Ike said he has to try it.
Howard said last time Jimmy Kimmel was there he said that Ike was the one making fun of Robin for naming her cat Yoda. Ike said he wasn't the one who initiated that. He said he and Jimmy were at a huge party after that and they smoked some weed there. He said Jimmy's weed makes Seth's look like shit. Ike said he took one hit off of it and he was out of it. He said that it ruined the night for him. He said it's not fun. Ike said he spoke to a woman for like 10 minutes and he doesn't remember anything he said. He said it turns out it was Tony Hale's wife.
Ike said that Jimmy turned that whole Yoda thing into a big deal. He said he didn't think Robin was crazy. He said that it was odd that she named her cat Yoda. Robin said she does too. Howard said she just had a brain fart. Howard said Ike did great today. Ike said he loves Howard. Ike said that this is the highlight of his career. He said he doesn't care what he does as long as he gets to come in there.
Howard wrapped up with Ike and said that Gary's review of Sisters was really good. Howard asked Gary if he watched it in his screening room. Gary said he did. He said most of the staff went to a screening last night and loved it. JD said he didn't get an invite. Ike said he's sorry about that. JD said it's alright. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard had Gary come in to talk about the Flat Ronnie thing. Howard said that Jon Hein told him that there's a TV network that's just going to sell guns. Howard said that thing will be huge. Gary said that people in San Bernardino have been lining up to buy guns after what happened there. Robin and Gary said they don't own guns. Howard said he has 2. He said he had rifles but now he doesn't. He said he wanted something cool instead.
Howard asked Benjy if he has one. Benjy said he doesn't but he thinks you should have one. Howard said he used to go to the firing range a lot but he hasn't lately. Robin said that they say that the two nudnicks who shot people in San Bernardino were in a shooting range for a year.
Howard said one time he was at a private firing range and he shot the gun and a ricochet hit him in the cheek. Howard said that the guys he used to go with would shoot Uzis and things. Howard said they'd holster up there since they can't do that in public. Howard said the holster is so uncool. He said they need a new holster. Gary asked why anyone would need an Uzi. Howard said he has no clue but he wouldn't mind owning one. Howard said he wants to use it to kill people who enter his home. Howard said an Uzi doesn't kick so it's great. He said you're sure that you can take an invader out if you use one of those on them. Howard said you see some of these guys walking around with guns and you want to have one.
Gary said that he knows people who have Uzis so he's been able to fire them. Robin said you have to learn to shoot, right. Howard said he wanted to know but you don't have to. Gary said he knows a guy who bought a gun in a bar in the south and it's legal. Howard said that's what the gun channel will be like. Howard said it's crazy. He said that if they ban guns he'd be all for giving it up. He said he's not that crazy that he's going to scream second amendment. Howard said he met Fred and went out and bought a gun. Howard asked Fred if he owns one. Fred said he does not. He said if he did he'd own a sawed off shotgun. He said it's best for accuracy. Howard asked Robin if she fired a gun in the military. Robin said she did not.
Howard read an article about this TV network that will be selling guns. Howard said they are going to call it Gun TV and it's all about selling guns like QVC sells stuff. Howard said that they're going to sell other things like bullets, holsters and radios. Howard said they think it's going to debut in January. Howard said he's not sure how you ship the guns. Howard said they can't ship it across state lines. Benjy said they're like the middle man.
Howard asked Gary about Flat Ronnie. Gary said they have 40 of the full size. He said they're easily shipped. He said they made a list of where they might send them. He said they think they might be able to get one on Gotham. He said they know people at Big Bang Theory and they might get one on there. Howard said they should send one to Joey Boots who is always trying to get on TV. Robin said that if they display it once they may not keep it. Robin said it should be on loan. Howard said they're thinking about making it possible for people to print out their own Flat Ronnie. Howard said he was against that at first but now he might be for it.
Gary said that people in the crowds at games they hold things up and if they could get like 1000 Flat Ronnie's to hold up they could get it on TV. Howard said they'll hear more about Flat Ronnie as time goes on. Robin asked if she wasn't supposed to give Ike that Flat Ronnie. Howard said it's probably fine since it was Ike.
Howard said that these guys want to find guys who want to be their daddy and they'll shit and piss in their diaper and make the guy clean them up. Howard said there's a ton of guys who are into this. Wolfie said there's one that has about 3000 people show up. He said that there were only about 150 at this one. Howard said that hotel has to be a weird place. Wolfie said it wasn't the Four Seasons.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie asking a guy about his fetish and the convention. The guy was explaining the different terms for the people who like to wear the diapers.
Howard asked Wolfie if he wore a diaper. Wolfie said he did not. He said he explained to the guy why he was there and the guy asked if he was there for work or personal reasons. Wolfie said the guy winked at him.
Howard played another clip of a guy talking about how some of the people there are there to clean up the guys who mess in their diaper. Wolfie said that he didn't smell shit or anything there but he's assuming that these guys were doing that.
Howard said that these guys must stock up on diapers and things. Howard said changing a baby diaper is one thing but changing a 40 year old is much different. Wolfie said they had man sized changing tables there. Howard said that the smell has to make you gag. He said that they're cleaning up the guys. Howard asked who is weirder the one shitting or the guy cleaning it up. Robin said it's all of them.
Howard played another interview clip where a guy was talking about how much he enjoys it. He said that he likes getting his dick sucked there. He called it daddy's ba-ba. Howard said sex can get so complicated when you're into this stuff. Howard said he's so glad he's not into this kind of thing. Robin said it's crazy.
Wolfie asked how you even get to that point and figure out that you're into it. Howard played another clip of Wolfie talking to a guy about his experiences with this stuff.
Howard said that Richard Christy wears a diaper to concerts to piss in. Wolfie said they have a giant Excer-saucer there at the convention. He said that they walked around and showed him the stuff but no one was in it. He said there are guys who suck on pacifiers and things too. Howard asked if they have big mobiles there too. Wolfie said they have a metal crib the size of a car there. He said they had baby toys, bottles and all of that.
Howard played another interview Wolfie did with a guy who was talking about what he does with the diaper thing and what he feels when he's in a diaper. The guy said that it's an excitement for him. He said he's comforted. Howard said these guys sound sort of intelligent. Wolfie said he didn't get that impression that they weren't. He said he got the feeling they were professionals. Howard said the guys who work for him don't sound this intelligent. Howard said he knows his wife would leave him if he did this.
Howard started to play another clip but cut it off and said that he's had enough. He said good job to Wolfie. Wolfie started to read some of the things they have there and Howard cut him off and told him to go to work.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to compliment him on being exceptionally funny lately. He said it's great and he can't thank him enough for what he's done. Howard thanked him for that. Howard thanked him for that. Howard said that was very nice. He said he's a laugh riot. He said that was a very nice call.
Howard said that he has another version of ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' that's a hip hop version. Howard played that and said they used the N-word in that one. He said he had a Michael Caine version of the song too. He played that one with a Michael Caine impersonator. He said he has a Charlie Sheen ''I Won't Suck Your Ween'' song too.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn. Mariann said that she's fasting until Howard makes his announcement. She said she has to. Howard said that some of his crew should do that too. Howard played some of her singing Justin Bieber's ''What Do You Mean'' from the top 5. He played some of her other stuff from the top 5 too. Mariann was talking about how great the past 10 years has been. Howard cut her off with anther top 5 song she sang. Howard hung up on her as she was yelling about her fasting. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said before Robin starts the news he has Wood Yee trying to get a job as a store Santa. Howard played that clip where Wood Yee was asking for a job and saying he was just granted parole so he's looking for a job. The store said they can't hire felons. They went back and forth for a short time before they hung up.
Howard said it's time for news. They played her in with a song parody from James Cargill. Robin started her news with a story about Star Wars opening next week. Robin said you have to get in line now if you want to see it when it opens. Howard said that he's excited for the movie but imagine getting on line for a movie that's coming out a week from now. Robin said that people are camping out. Howard said that's the greatest. He said that JJ Abrams can't goof on those people because he needs them. Robin said many people did that in 2002 for ''Attack of the Clones.'' Howard said it's too much.
Howard said they covered a New York Comic-Con and he has some clips. Howard played some audio of a guy in a mask talking about what a prick Carlos Mencia was when he met him at a convention. Howard asked who would give 10 bucks to Carlos Mencia for an autograph. Howard played another clip of Richard talking to a guy who calls himself Flamboyant Enigma. Howard said you can't make up your own character and go to an event like that. Howard said he's an annoying super hero.
Robin read a story about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominations and said that today is the last day to vote. Robin had some details on who is up for being inducted. That led to Howard talking about why Cheap Trick should already be in there. They spent a few more minutes talking about other bands that are in the hall of fame.
Robin read a story about the most popular game of the year. Howard told her she can skip that story. Robin read that the most popular game is Call of Duty Black Ops III. Robin named a few others that were on that list of top games.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's in New York for the week and he wondered what he would tell a visitor to do. Howard said he's the wrong guy to ask. Howard said he lives there and doesn't do anything. He said the first thing you do is buy a gun. Howard said the homeless thing is getting so bad now. Howard said there was a guy out there singing ''Everybody Wants to Rule the World'' and it was in a really scary way. He said that he went for a walk the other day and he was so nervous. Robin said they did say on the local news that some people were approached at gun point in Central Park.
The caller said on the Wrap Up Show the other day Gary was talking about cassette tapes and how there's a guy who still tapes on them and Gary made fun of him. He said it was like Gary was taking the wrath Howard gave him about vinyl and took it out on that guy. Howard said that Gary is a hypocrite. The caller asked why Gary would goof on that. Howard said Gary is into Vinyl and he's goofing on a guy who uses cassettes. Gary said the guy who was recording on cassettes was talking about how it's easier to do that but Gary thinks it's easier to record in other ways. Howard said there are easier ways to listen to music too. Gary said that a lot of people like doing that. The caller said that Gary shit on the guy. Gary said he'll explain his side of the story on the Wrap Up Show today. Howard told the guy that he should take Gary on today on the Wrap Up Show. The caller said Meg Griffin was going off on Howard yesterday too. Howard said Meg is way out there. The caller started to tell a story about going out to eat with Joey Boots and High Pitch Eric but Howard hung up on him.
Howard said that Meg was talking about how she quit working at K-Rock when they made her play the band Heart. Howard said that's nuts. He said that they were commercially successful so he's not sure what her problem is. Gary said he asked Meg who drove her over the edge and he and Jon looked at each other when they heard it was Heart. Gary said she talked about how they took a recorded and melted it into the shape of an ashtray. Howard said he's shocked by the Heart thing. Gary said that's what made her leave K-Rock. Howard said she has to be great in bed when you're that wacky. He said it has to be tremendous passion. He said she was raised catholic though so maybe it could go either way. Howard said Heart was so good. Fred played a couple of their songs.
Howard said Meg didn't like him because he didn't know what he was doing and he'd play stuff he heard on radio. Howard said he would play popular songs. He said he figured that's what people wanted to hear. Howard said Meg would look at him like he was poisonous. Howard said it's amazing he's so nice to her. Gary said Meg loves Howard. Howard said he loves her too. He said he was so attracted to her but he knew she was so out of his league. Gary said he would have had to have seen a lot of bands that he didn't want to see to make that happen. Howard said the guy she married knew even more obscure bands than Meg. Howard said that guy was cool and he even sounded cool on the air. Gary said he did have a relaxed sound. Howard said they had a whole romance going on there with their obscure music. He said it was nauseating. Howard said he figured no one wanted him. He said he would have cum in 3 seconds if he was with her. Howard said he didn't have a look or anything. He said Meg's husband Joe had a look. Howard said good for her. He said if he had been with her maybe there would be a Meg 100. Howard said he does love her though. He said that he never knew anyone like her. He said imagine he quit a radio show because he had to play Heart. He pretended to call his dad to tell him why he quit. He did his impression of his dad calling him an idiot for doing that. He said his father would have beat him over the head for that. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
After the break Howard came right back and threw it back to Robin. Robin read a story about Time magazine's person of the year. Howard said maybe he should be that person. He asked who is better than him. Robin said she saw Jennifer Lawrence as Entertainer of the Year on a magazine cover. Howard said let her be around as long as he has. Robin said that's an honor Howard wants. Robin said that Angela Merkel is the person of the year. Howard said he didn't know there was a female chancellor of Germany. Robin said this has been going on since 2005. Howard said he had no idea.
Robin read a story about the founder of North Face dying while doing outdoor stuff. Howard said he knows people who buy that stuff and he thinks ''don't do anything outdoors.'' Robin said the guy died kayaking. Howard said he'd never do that. Robin said she knew someone who was doing that in South America and they almost couldn't get her back into the boat when she fell out. Robin said this guy Doug Tompkins was 72. Robin said he founded North Face and also Esprit. Robin said he had to go kayaking.
Howard took a call from a guy who was calling from Lake Tahoe. Howard said that's a nice lake. The caller said he appreciates everything he's done. He thanked him for all of the memories. He said he's not sure what he's going to do. Howard said he doesn't even know. Howard said he has 3 more shows left for the year. He said he hopes something will work out. He said they will be somewhere if it's not there. He said they won't be podcasting but he's had a love affair there for many years. He said that he'll either re-sign or resign. He said they'll see what happens. The caller said whatever makes him happy. Howard said what makes him happy is when they give him whatever he wants. The caller said that's the way it should be.
Howard played a Bobo impression from Matt Jacobs. In that clip Bobo is faking an injury while talking about all of his awards.
Robin read a story about the 13th amendment which abolished slavery in this country. Howard said he didn't know about that one. Robin said they're marking the 150th anniversary of that amendment today. Robin had some details about that. Howard said he would not have been a good slave owner. Robin said she wouldn't have been a good slave. Howard said he's sure they still would have ended up together. Howard said he's just not good at bossing people around. He said he wouldn't want to own anyone who could beat him up either. Howard said he'd have a Jada Pinkett Smith working for him. Robin said she would be just as dangerous as she would. Howard said he'd have Jada and Rihanna. Howard said he wouldn't even waste money on dudes. He said he'd have Beyonce too. Robin said it would be a whole plantation of women. Howard said he doesn't want men there. Howard said he doesn't see black people as slaves. He said he can't boss anyone around so he'd be the one picking the cotton.
Robin started to talk about the San Bernardino shooters and as soon as those words came out Fred started playing phone ringing sounds. Howard went into his ISIS Hotline impression. He took a call from Roger Waters and had Roger talking to the ISIS Hotline guy asking questions about Israel. Howard had Roger asking if he could move to another country like Syria and if they would honor him there. The hotline guy said he could but they'd have to behead him because he's an infidel. Howard took a call from Robin who was asking about the living conditions for the terrorists. Hotline guy said everything will be fine and you'll have 72 virgins once you blow yourself up. Robin and the hotline guy spent a short time talking about that.
Robin talked about the baby crib that the terrorists had and how it seemed like they wanted to have a happy baby but then they had garbage all over the room. She also talked about how they left their baby with their mother in law. Robin said she thinks that baby should be taken away. Robin said they're leaving the baby with a woman who already raised one terrorist. Howard said they have to get that baby away from that woman.
Robin read about how ISIS is using a lot of guns that come from this country. They spent a minute on that and Howard took more calls on the ISIS Hotline.
Robin read a story about Barbara Walters talking to Donald Trump in a special. Robin had some audio of Trump talking to Walters. Fred played the ISIS hotline phone ringing again but Howard told Fred to turn that off. Robin had some other audio clips of some presidential nominees talking about terrorism. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin mentioned that she's going to be on The Talk today with Julie Chen and Sharon Osbourne. Robin said she's going to be one of their ''top talkers.'' She said she's doing it on the live show this afternoon. It's on at 2. Howard said they should take their tops off and do some ''tittie news.'' Robin said she isn't sure the female audience would want that. Howard said she should bring Flat Ronnie. Robin said she'll see what she can do. She told them to put him in the car. Howard said that she's going to be on the with the cast of Downton Abbey. Howard had her do her British accent. They talked about that show for a short time. Howard told Robin to do the ISIS Hotline on the show.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump being under fire over what he said about banning all Muslims from this country. Robin said people around the world are commenting on that. Robin said that he's been condemned by the highest leader in Egypt.
Robin read a story about how men typically find shortcuts and are better oriented when doing way finding tasks. Howard said he stops every 15 feet to ask directions. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the illnesses that go around at this time of year. Robin had some audio of a woman talking about how you're indoors and around more people at this time of year. Howard said not him. He said he avoids people.
Robin had Howard play some audio from the Angry Birds game. Howard had no idea what that was. Howard said that it sounds like an Arabic Gilligan's Island. Fred played the ISIS Hotline ring. Howard said that's what their hold music would sound like. Robin said the company that makes the game is getting a new boss. Robin read about that and wrapped up her news. Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon said that they have a poll up today and they're asking which segment they liked the most today. Rahsaan said the choices were:
Jon said that if he and Jen are neighbors and she gets a card from him that's shoved in her mailbox what odes she do. Jen said that's creepy. She said that she likes the stamp thing. She said that she wants it mailed. Jon said Gary should know better. Jen agreed. She said that she can see Howard opening his bag and feeling violated. Jon said that Gary thought he was making it easier for Howard. He said that Howard also said that he was making it more about himself. He said that he noticed it from Gary. Jen said she doesn't think Gary is doing that but she can see Howard's mind going there. Jen said unless there's money in there then you should mail it.
Gary came in and said that it's okay to feel he made a mistake. Gary said they have done this before so it's not unheard of. Gary said it's all good though. Jon said that Howard said he showed a lack of organization. Gary said he wanted to make sure he got it and he has multiple addresses. He said that he wanted it to get there the quickest. He said he really didn't see this coming.
Jon said Gary did something today that he didn't understand. He said he deflected by bringing up his stools from his home theater. He said that's inviting Howard and Robin to walk right through. Gary said it got them off the card though. Jen said she was on Gary's side for that one. Jon said that it came back to the card again. Gary said that he didn't care about the stools. He said the card he gets upset about. They went to break after that.
Jon said today they also talked about the guy that Gary came down on for taping the show with cassettes. Gary said he would explain that on today's Wrap Up Show. Jon gave him the floor to explain. Gary said he sometimes listens to music on vinyl. It's not 24/7. He said every day he goes out running he has an iPod. He said he listens to music on that. Gary said it would be dumb to run with a turntable on his back. Gary said that this guy is trying to do it for functional purposes. Gary said that it's not easy to record on cassette. Gary said that he was telling the guy he can do it easier than recording with cassettes. Gary said that you will miss parts of the show with a cassette. Gary said he doesn't feel like a hypocrite.
Jen said that vinyl is like wine. She said a cassette is like drinking boxed wine. Then she said she knows this is a horrible analogy.
Jen said that cassettes look like the guy is nuts and vinyl looks like a collector. Jon said that cassettes are the cool thing now aren't they. Gary said one guy wrote that in an article but that's not true.
Jon asked Gary if he has a cassette player. Gary said he does but he doesn't use it. He said he has an 8 Track player but it sounds awful. He said it's fun to have that stuff. He said he's a collector. He said he had a laser disc player but he got rid of that. He said he thinks he gave his discs to Ben Barto and he may have thrown them away. Gary said he has a closet full of old TiVos and speakers and stuff. Gary said that he keeps it and he's not sure why.
Jen said she had a whole box of VHS tapes and she had to get rid of them. She said she just tossed them in a dumpster. She sad that she thought she had to recycle them. She said that it all ends up in the ocean so you have to recycle. Gary said he has a bag at home of like 20 flip phones and old Blackberry's and he doesn't know what to do with them. Jen said there's a place that will take them and they advertise on the show. Gary said he doesn't know how to wipe them so he doesn't know how to do it.
Jon said that Ike told that great story about Brian Posehn today. He said that it was that Fred Goldman story. They spent a short time talking about that.
Jon asked Jen how she deals with people who ask where they know her from. Jen said she can profile people and figure out where they have seen her. She said last time she was up there someone was taking pictures of her when she left the building. She said she felt so famous.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she still watches VHS. She said she could have given away her VHS tapes on Craigslist. Gary said that's just what she wants is some stranger coming to take her tapes. Jon asked the caller what she has on VHS. She said that she has all of the classics and things from the 90s. Jen said she thought she had old TV shows and stuff. The caller said it's just movies. They went to break a short time later.
Jen said that Elephant Boy is sort of good looking. She said that she thinks that he's not a bad looking person. Gary said he isn't bad but he can't latch on to that and help her. Gary said after 10 minutes of speaking to him she'll be wiping spittle out of her eyes.
Gary told Jen about the woman who cried after having sex with Jeff. He said they felt so bad after that. They were horrified. Jon said that will be replayed on today's Sternthology. Jon got in some plugs for that.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she was married to one of those adult diaper people. Gary asked at what point he revealed that to her. The caller said it was at zero point. She said that her husband was the top executive at the financial company. Jon said they don't know that it was the same guy. The caller, Jen, said that she's just saying it was like that. She said that he guy she was married to would lie about things that people just don't lie about. She said his behavior became more and more strange and his lies were getting ridiculous. Gary asked if her sex life was normal. She said it was diminishing in frequency and he was avoiding her with excuses. Gary asked what happens next. The caller said that she went into his computer and looked at his email. She said that there were about 5 from people with weird names. She said it said something about ''slave'' and he called himself ''Flip'' and she's not sure why that is. She said that all of the emails were like that. She said she took it to a friend who found these people on an Adult Baby Diaper lover web site.
Gary asked what he said after that. The caller said that she wasn't able to confront him. She said he was trying to break off the relationship so she just left. Jon asked Jen Kirkman what she would do if she fond out something like that. Jen said she would tell the guy she's out. She said there is no explanation for that. She said she'd just be out.
The caller said that she was already out the door and she had a lawyer. She said she sent one text to him. She said that she had to look it up in a psychiatric book. She said that she was in a panic over it because her kids were around. She said that she sent him a text saying ''ABDL Really?'' and he never responded. She said that he was very threatening to her after that. She said that he was worried about it coming out.
Gary asked if she saw any of this while she was dating. Jen the caller said she did not. Jen Kirkman said that's why women are blowing Jeff the Drunk. She said this is the kind of thing that's out there. Jon said he's glad things worked out for Jen the Caller. Jon asked if this came up when she started dating other people. Jen the Caller said that just had to be a one off thing and she figured the next guy couldn't be into that. Gary said it would be like being struck by lightning two times in a year. Jon said it can happen. Jon said he's not sure what would happen if he found out something like that. They spent a little more time talking about that.
Jon asked who is getting a Flat Ronnie. Gary said they have a list of people and shows. He said that the only person who has been cleared so far is Natalie Maines. Jon asked Jen what she would do with it. Jen said she would probably make out with it and pretend it's her boyfriend. She said she would take it on stage to shows. She said that she might get people yelling out Baba Booey and stuff. She said she'd rather have the real Ronnie out there on stage with her though.
Jon asked Jen about what she thinks about Gary's throat clearing. Jen said that she had vocal nodules and she thinks Gary might have that. Gary said she could be right. Jen said she had to go to vocal therapy. Gary said he's having a colonsocopy soon and he may do the endoscopy too. Jen told him to be careful with that. Gary said he'll be fine.
Jon asked if Gary would be up for vocal therapy. Gary said of course he would. Gary said that everyone has been recommending products but he may not have phlegm there. Jen said she's been yelling at her radio about this for months. She said she's glad she told him about it today.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up the card thing. Gary said what he read on the screen was that he wanted to ask if he would hand Howard a card. Gary said he didn't hand him the card. He said he has put them in Howard's bag in the past and he's not sure why Howard picked up on this. He said from now on no one's card is going in that bag. Jon said Gary has access to Howard's address. Gary said that everyone does. He said if they don't they can ask Laura for the address.
Jon asked Rahsaan about the results of the poll. Rahsaan said that Gary and Howard fighting won with 61 percent of the votes. Jeff the Drunk came in second and the adult diaper segment came in third.
Jon said they should have talked more about Ike today. He said he's on a roll lately. Gary said that Ike worked his way on the show and he did well. He said that he has made the most of everything. He said he sent him an email a couple of weeks ago and asked for the origins of a clip they play often. Gary said that Ike's whole family was there today and his dad was the nicest guy in the world. Jon wrapped up and ended the show around Noon.
Jon asked if Chris is on board with Tan Mom as a Wack Packer. Chris said he is. He said he's not on Natalie Maines' side in that. He said that Tan Mom fits every essence of a Wack Packer. He said she's fascinating. Gary said that every Wack Packer was established before they got on the show. He said everyone knew Hank the Dwarf or Crackhead Bob in their local areas. Gary said that no one was interested in Tan Mom but them after her moment of fame on TV.
Chris said you can hear the love and attachment that Tan Mom has for Sal. He said that she loves him. Gary said Tan Mom has a look in her eye when Sal grabs her hand. He said Sal completes her. Chris laughed. Gary said she really does. He said it's the exact opposite of when her husband comes in. Jon said when the husband came in that was just as compelling. He said he seems like the guy who just thinks that's who she is and he's okay with it. He said she goes off on him and that's the dynamic of their relationship. Chris said that he's with her 24/7 so he knows what makes her tick. Gary said that they see Tan Mom but he sees Patricia. Gary said he hasn't seen the difference though.
Jon said that they've been together for a long time and they've had a lot of adversity. Jon said that Tan Mom is going to do what she wants to do. Chris said that he's probably learned to live with it. He said he'd love to see if Sal wanted to be with her full time. He said he thinks her fascination with him would go away pretty quickly. Gary said he's not sure who would get sick of who first. He said he can't decide.
Jon said he thinks both of them get off on the way they are into each other. Jon said Sal likes it from the other end too. He said if they did get together that spark would go away. Gary said he thinks that she has a genuine spark for Sal but Sal might like it because he doesn't get that from his own wife. Gary said it doesn't sound like Tan Mom is that crazy sexually. He said she gets mad if you bring up anal.
Jon said that Howard has talked about how he's not into sports but he has passion for other things. He said Howard has wished he had passion for a sports team like others do. Chris said Howard has passion for painting and things like that. Gary said Howard can't get that high or low about painting like Jon Hein can get when the Steelers lose. Jon punched his couch once because they lost. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said something that happened this week was Memet getting catfished. Jon said he feels bad for the guy. He said that it turns out this woman wasn't the woman he thought it was. Jon said there is a light at the end of the tunnel though. Jon said that Manti Te'o was catfished too and people have forgotten about that. Chris said that Memet works on the number one radio show in the world so that may not be forgotten. Chris said everyone there told Memet to keep going with it but how do you not know. Gary said he loves Memet but this is one girl in a parade of girls. He said he's getting laid a lot and this was just one mistake. He said that he'll move on.
Jon said he thinks everyone has a blind spot. He said that you want to believe that it's true if a girl is into you. Rahsaan said you can't fault him but he doesn't get why he was trying to connect with someone 3 hours a way. Gary said he knew someone who worked on the show once who flew to meet a girl in like Toledo. He said it was all pre-internet.
Jon said people get fooled by that stuff all the time. He said sometimes you don't think straight. Chris said he doesn't feel bad for him. He said he just thinks he's an idiot. He said Memet just sounded so clueless talking about it and he was in disbelief. Gary said he thinks that he was in a rush and he threw out the safety measures that he should have gone through. Gary said he has gotten so many emails about what you should do. Chris asked if he got arrogant. Gary said absolutely. Jon said the kicker to all of this was Ronnie Mund. He said he was the one telling Memet not to go.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he calls in every day and it's nerve racking to be on hold. He said that he takes so many notes. He said it's been fun. Jon said he has some Bobo-esque tendencies there. He asked if he has color coded books. The caller said he doesn't. He said that Bobo's calls are probably way better than his. He said he's not that good yet. Gary asked the caller if he was calling the show for 25 years would he be better at it. The caller said he thinks so. He asked if they have any work up there. He said he'd love something. Gary said he'd love to help him out but he has nothing. Jon said he just made a mistake by asking. He said you have to earn your way in up there. He said there could be opportunity but you can't ask. Gary said when they do Win Sal's Job then he can try out for it. The caller asked if there's going to be a show. Gary said he doesn't know. Jon said Howard did say there will be something but he hasn't said what yet. Gary said that he has no control over anything so he's not going to make himself crazy over it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it doesn't make sense that Howard would end it in 3 episodes and not say goodbye. Jon said that this is his second time with this and you just don't know until the contract is signed. He said that he hopes the caller is right but ultimately Howard will make an announcement and they'll know when the fans know. The caller said he hopes it's a video program that they can watch and listen to. He said maybe that's part of it. Jon said it could be but they'll have to wait and see. Jon said 10 years ago no one knew what satellite was and who knows what could be in their future now. They went to break a short time later.
Gary asked Jon if he thinks there was a lot of excitement about Don coming in. Jon said there was and they learned a lot from it. He said he didn't know that Glenn Frey was the number one guy driving the band. He said Don and Glenn wrote so many great songs. He said they gave great performances in there too. He said it just sounded so good. Gary said that it sounds like Don wasn't looking to sing and Glenn was the one pushing him to do it. Gary said he must have loved him and believed in him to push him to do that.
Jon said that the other stuff they talked about was stuff they knew about. Jon said that Don was a Trombone player and he ends up playing drums and being one of the most successful drummers in history. Chris said he's a drummer that's a singer too. He said there aren't many others.
Jon said another thing they talked about was when they were trying to break out after backing Linda Ronstadt. He said that she ends up having the hit with Desperado. Jon said that's like Gary walking in and saying that he, Robin and Fred are going to do another show. Gary said he's not sure why he'd want to take that chemistry away. Jon said that they also talked about how Jackson Browne gave away his song to them. Gary said he thinks it was before anyone was really making shitloads of money doing it. He said it was more about art and enjoying what they were doing.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they have tried getting Justin Bieber on the show and if they think he would do ''I'll Suck Your Ween.'' Gary said he's been trying to get him on forever. He said they were close to making it happen. Gary said if he came on and sang that song the audience would think he's so cool. He said he'd have a sense of humor about it. He said he can see him doing it and laughing his ass off about it.
Jon said that he was hearing Bieber singing that. Gary said he was walking around his mother's nursing home and singing the song. He said he doesn't even know the actual lyrics for that song. He had to look them up.
Jon said Don Henley sounded so good this week. Gary said he came in and put together a big band. He said they had more people than they usually do. He said that he had to do that slow version of Boys of Summer. He said the night before he did the Christmas song that he hasn't done in 25 years and they were both amazing performances.
Jon said that Gary was listening to the interview with Irving Azoff. Gary said there is a story about the song ''Best of My Love'' and a DJ in Kalamazoo started playing it and he got the thing to blow up. Gary said Howard is in the interview and Don tells a story about another song that made it happen. Gary said he went to ask Irving about that and Irving said that never happened and he was talking about ''Best Of My Love.''
Jon took a call from a guy who said that story just put him to sleep so he lost his train of thought. The caller said he wanted to talk about the Christmas card. He asked if it was a mistake putting the card in Howard's hand. Gary said it wasn't in his hand. He said it was in his bag. He takes mail home in that bag. Gary said that's where he puts his mail. Gary said he didn't think it was a big deal. He said that it's not like a piece of mail has never seen the inside of that bag. The caller said Howard is right though and you're not supposed to do that. Gary said he likes how everyone knows what to do before Howard said it. Chris said there is no right way. He said on any day it can go any direction. Gary said he said yesterday on the show that he's put things in Howard's bag from Richard many times. He said he's not sure why he's the lucky one. Chris said you just never know how it's going to go.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:45am.
Jon said he wants to start off with Jeff the Drunk and how he got blown and then called in sounding bummed about the whole thing. Gary said he's not sure what Jeff's expectations were in L.A. He said if you looked at the comments on Periscope he can't imagine that he thought it was something he'd enjoy if he switched places with the audience. Jon asked if anyone would pay to go see Jeff live. Jon said he gets that he's part of the show and you can get face to face interaction. He said he's not sure if maybe the magic isn't preparing.
Gary said if he went to see Jeff and he was disappointed he'd have only himself to blame. Jon asked if Danny would go see him. Danny said possibly. He said Jason said years ago that any fan of the show is willing to do anything for it. He said at the same time if you're familiar with the show you have fair notice that the quality of the production is not going to be the same as the Stern show. Jon asked if Rahsaan would go see the show. Rahsaan said he would but he'd go to laugh at him and not have him entertain him.
Jon said they had some callers who were from the Jeff fan club so he'd like to hear from them today. Jon said maybe he's just missing something.
Gary said there are Wack Packers who can go and do nothing and the audience loves them. He said Hank was one. Eric the Actor was another. He said with Jeff some people love to give him shit.
Jon said that Eric did that appearance at a Sacramento Kings game and he sold ''zero point zero'' tickets to that. He said that there are those people who see it as a way to interact with the show though. Danny said there are people you just want to go look at. He said that's kind of a PT Barnum kind of thing. He said that some people are willing to pay for that. Gary said he's basically saying that it's a freak show. Danny said he thinks that's what Howard's vision of the Wack Pack was. He said that the Wack Pack holds true to that kind of category. Danny said a lot of the Wack Pack don't know why they're entertaining. He said that Bobo might be one of those.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if anyone has thought about doing a Howard-Con and how they think that would work out. Gary said they have talked about it so many times. Gary said to do it the correct way is an enormous undertaking. He said there are so many variations. He said they have different names and different halls of people from the show. He said he'd love to hear a panel with people like Jackie there. He said it's going to be a lot of work if they ever do something like that. Gary said they'd have to do it at a top notch level. Jon said they won't just throw something together. He said it might be like on the Birthday Bash kind of level. He said everyone would want to see it and participate in it.
Gary said if Howard is Shatner and Robin is Nimoy then who is everyone else. Jon said that if it's a Star Trek analogy he thinks that Robin and Fred are the next biggest draws and then Gary. Gary said he'd be like Uhuru or something. Jon said maybe Chekhov. He said Beetle might be top 5. He said that a lot of people would want to see Beet. Jon said a lot of die hard fans would want to see Steve Brandano and people like that. Gary asked if someone would want to see Hillbilly Jack. Danny said he can answer that. He said he knows that Jon has been to different cons and if you haven't been there is a fascination with the most peripheral people. Jon said that's so true. Danny said in the first The Walking Dead there was a woman who was killed as a zombie and that woman charges to give her autograph and have a picture taken. He said that happens with the Star Trek extras too. Jon said he knows what he's talking about. Jon said he thinks people would line up around the block for Sour Shoes.
Danny said one thing Howard-Con would suffer from is that it is a brand that it has to protect. He said that's why they may never see it. They will guard the brand fiercely. He said at a diaper convention there is no brand to protect.
Gary said he's trying to think of the most peripheral name on the show. He asked if anyone would go to see Bo the Lesbian. Jon said absolutely. Jon said Daniel Mendelson would be a draw. Gary said that Bo was on when they were much less exposed. Jon asked about Jonathan Mendelson. Gary said he'd go to see that. He said he'd like to see him and one of the Jesus Twins there. They went to break after that.
Gary asked Danny if Memet did send a dick pick and a guy gets it and all he wants it for is to jerk off to it, are there any damages there. Danny said no. He said Memet willingly took the picture and sent it to that person. He said that if it's a fictional person they get into a grey area of the law. He said it might be a sexual benefit but he's not sure what would happen there.
Jon said he credits Memet for coming forward with the story. He said that you should be thinking twice when you're doing this kind of stuff. Danny said maybe there will be a law about sending photos at your own risk. He said that we're in a new era. He said that technology always outpaces the law.
Jon said that Martha Quinn is joining them now. Martha was on the phone and she was getting nervous clearing her throat. She said she swears she was doing that.
Gary asked Martha if she heard the Don Henley interview this week. Martha said she did and she thought it was great. Jon asked Martha about the days of when they made videos and how Don was talking about how uncomfortable he was making them. Martha said it's always a double edged sword when it comes to stuff like that.
Jon asked Martha what she wanted to talk about. Martha said that Ike Barinholtz is the best celebrity superfan out there. She said the impressions he does are just so great. Danny said as a fan of the show some people come in saying they're fans and they have some mis-knowledge about the show. He said Ike is breathtaking. Danny said he has talent with his impressions and his memory is amazing. He said he did that one impression that he did from memory and he ties it all together into a one man show. He said it's breathtaking. He said it makes one superfan a superfan of that superfan.
Gary said they should do Win Ike's Money with Ike doing trivia. Gary said he doesn't think he could beat him. Jon said that Natalie Maines might be able to take him. Jon mentioned a few others who might be able to compete. He said they should float that and see if they can make it stick.
Martha said that she heard that story that Ike told about Brian Posehn and it sounded like a story that was her's. She said that she saw a guy in a store and she kind of recognized him. She asked him who he was and where she knew him from. The guy told her that 10 years ago his son was murdered. Martha said that she ran back to her husband and told her they had to get out of there because she just saw Fred Goldman. Jon said that must happen to him all the time. Martha said that has to be correct. She said he had the look on his face that he knew it was going to be really sad. Martha said that it has to be sad for him to tell people who he is. Gary said that gives him insight into what his life must be like every day. Gary said he should get a business card telling people who he is and that way he'd be able to hand it to people and walk away. Jon said he might be right even though it sounds kind of cold. Gary said you are guaranteed a donation if you hand it over. Martha said that is an interesting idea. She said she gets it from aging guys wearing Queensryche t-shirts.
Gary said that the OJ trial thing is going to be coming back because there's a new TV show about it coming out. Gary asked if Martha would watch that. Martha said she might watch the first couple. She said it depends on the quality of the show. She said it's tricky when they do a show about something they know pretty well. Gary said he thinks it's going to be good. He said when you see Travolta and guys like that in the show he thinks they may do a good job. Danny said it's worth watching the show. He said he thinks it's going to be killer.
Jon let Martha go after that. He said that you can hear Martha on 80s on 8 on SiriusXM. They went to break after that.
Jon said that they had a conversation this week about Howard talking about Gary being hypocritical about someone recording the show on cassette since Gary listens to vinyl. Jon said Gary was just pointing out the fact that there are easier ways to do it. Gary said you can do it digitally and it might be easier for the guy.
Jon said that today they have Tommy, the guy who called in about the cassettes, in the studio. Jon asked if he heard Howard and Gary going at it. Tommy said he did. He said that he never thought it would lead to all of this. Jon asked if Gary is hypocritical like Howard said. Tommy said he didn't think about it like that. Gary said if you love the experience of a cassette then that's fine. He said if you just do it because that's the way you've been doing it then he would say there are easier ways to do it.
Jon asked if Tommy is still doing it. Tommy said he is. He said his cassette player broke recently but he got it back up and running. Gary said that he has a smart phone so he could record it. Gary asked the app is there and you can listen on the phone. He asked why he doesn't do that. Tommy said he just hasn't gotten around to doing it. He said he's just used to doing the cassette thing. He said he listens in the car and he can catch up on it there.
Jon asked how he records. Tommy said he gets up and starts the recording for 45 minutes and then he'll flip the tape and go about his business. He said he'll take the tape and listen to it while doing things around the house. He said it's a great way to listen to the show.
Jon asked if he's a product of the system. Gary said he thinks so. He said he explained why he does it very well. Gary said when they used to record the show on cassette they had an engineer that had a timer to tell him to flip the cassette. He said it went off a minute before the cassette was going to end. He said they flipped it so they didn't miss anything. He said they should have had every bit of show on there. Gary said that they were always missing parts of the show. He said over the years they were able to fill in some of those holes but it was a big pain in the ass.
Tommy said that he thinks the app might be too convenient for him. He said that he likes the surprise of hearing something he caught and didn't know. Gary asked if he has missed flipping tapes. Tommy said he does. He said that he wanted to get some stuff on tape last week when the caller called in and he missed it but then caught it later in the day. Tommy said he doesn't keep everything. He said he tapes over them.
Jon asked how he decides what to keep. Tommy said he keeps some of his favorite moments. He said he has maybe 100 cassettes. Gary said that whenever Jessica Hahn was on the show she used to say she had everything on tape. He said they imagined her room being full of cassettes. Tommy said he wonders what his cleaning lady thinks when she shows up.
Jon asked Tommy about what he thinks about Gary giving Howard the Christmas card in his bag. Gary said he thinks that he did Howard a favor because less people touched it than they would have in the mail. Danny said he might be right about that. Danny said that part of the Christmas card experience is getting something in the mail. He said that they hold this stuff up on the show and that's what makes this kind of stuff great.
Jon asked Tommy if he enjoys the hard time Howard gives Gary. Tommy said he does. He said Gary is a trooper for taking it the way he does.
Jon asked Tommy how often he and his wife wash their sheets. Tommy said they do it every few days. Jon asked him about Sal and Tan Mom and a few other things that have been going on lately on the show. Jon asked Tommy who on the show he finds most disgusting. Tommy said Richard and the not brushing his teeth through high school was pretty gross.
Jon wrapped up the show and got in some plugs. They were done around Noon.