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Howard started today's show saying good morning to his radio family. He said that he wishes the show was over already. Robin said it was such an auspicious start. Howard said he only has 3 hours and 59 minutes left to go. Howard said they just came off Thanksgiving break and it's hard to get back into the groove. Howard said they had time of and it's hard to get into the rhythm of work.
Howard said there are a couple of bits leftover from Thanksgiving. Howard said he can play them or wait. He said that this one is called Thanksgiving Attack. Howard played the prank call Jessica Kirson made to a guy when her doorbell rings and a turkey is there at the door. Then she hears something tapping on her glass. She says nothing is there and then she checks her back yard and it's full of turkeys who break in and start attacking her. She claims her dog is missing now. She starts shooting them. Then a giant turkey comes in and starts attacking her.
Howard said they learned something about phony phone calls. He said that men will stay on the phone if a woman is making the call. Howard said that was Jessica Kirson on the phone with some turkey guy. Howard said when she makes the calls the people will stay on. He said that's why it's good.
Howard said he had a nice break. Robin said she did too. Howard asked if she has anything to share. Robin said she saw Hamilton. She said Howard and Jimmy would have liked it. Howard said Oprah got their tickets. Robin said the seats are very close together in the theater though. She said she's not sure he would have fit. Howard said they gave out Jimmy Kimmel's free tickets to Oprah. Howard said it's a dumb move to do that because she has no outlet to talk about it on. Howard said that he and Jimmy could have talked about it.
Robin said she also saw Bob Saget in ''Hand of God'' and that is really good. Howard asked how many little kids he has on that show. Robin said there are none. She said that it's puppets. Howard asked if they talk dirty. Robin said they do. Howard said he likes Bob. He said he was on a kid's show and he's really one of the dirtiest comedians out there. Howard said he's overly dirty.
Howard said he stayed in his house and painted. He said he didn't do much. He said he did see some people occasionally. Robin said she saw Dr. Agus. Howard said he has a new book coming out. Howard said that dude knows what he's talking about. Howard said he saved his life. Howard said he had some blood tests that showed he had too much mercury in him and he saved his life. Howard said that he is the man. Howard said he told him to get tested for mercury and he did. He said that he ate so much fish that he was able to tell the temperature just looking at him. He said he was a giant pole thermometer. Howard said his farts smelled like trout.
Howard said they had the North Shore Animal League event. Howard said Lisa Lampanelli and Amy Schumer were there. He said that Rachel Ray and Wilson Phillips were there too. Howard said Beth knows not to drag him out but he went to this. Howard said they were in Los Angeles taping America's Got Talent last year and when he was out there he was laying out at the pool at the hotel and Amy was there in a bikini. Howard said she doesn't give a fuck. He said she doesn't care and doesn't have body dysmorphia. Robin asked what she doesn't care about. Howard said she doesn't care what you think. He said she just wears a bikini. Howard said she was laying there and he was talking to her and Amy said anytime Beth needs her she's there. Howard said Beth wondered if she'd speak at the North Shore thing. Howard said he told her she was full of shit. Howard said she's sweet though. Howard said Beth called her and Amy did it. Howard said she came and said a few words. He said she's very funny and very nice.
Howard said Amy used to come on his show before anyone cared about her. Howard said one day she's on the air with him and a famous director hears her. That was Judd Apatow. Howard said that she got a movie from that appearance. Howard said she should be cleaning cages and not just making one appearance at the North Shore. Howard said they had a nice time and raised money for the new building. Howard said they haven't started it yet though. He said he thinks they're starting soon.
Howard said Beth wrote a new book (Yoda Gets A Buddy) and that's coming out tomorrow. He said the money goes to the North Shore Animal League.
Howard said J.J. Abrams is coming in today. He said that he just got done directing the new Star Wars movie. Robin said she watched the original with her nephew because he had never seen it. Robin said he liked it. Howard said he watched Rambo First Blood and that was such a good film. He said when he blows up that whole town and kills everyone it's so great. Howard said Rocky was great too. He said he heard Creed is great too.
Howard said he has been playing the song ''Thermometer'' by Kopps and he doesn't know if that's new or old. Fred said he thinks it's old. Howard asked Robin if she's into it. Robin said she's more into ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' more than this. Howard said he likes this song. Howard asked if they're still together and playing. Fred wasn't sure. Howard asked if this is a white chick or a black chick. Gary said that she's white and Steve Brandano just saw them.
Howard let the song play and Fred played some Rambo clips over it. Howard said this song is really good. He said he and Steve don't always agree on music. He said this time they do. Robin said Howard has to get he album and find out if he likes anything else they do. Howard said he doesn't want to ruin it.
Howard played the ''It's over Johnny'' clip from Rambo. Howard said it's such a great movie. He said it's so simple. He said he's just walking down the road in the beginning of the movie. Howard went through the opening of the movie and how that goes. Howard said Rambo gets beat up in jail after he's arrested for not leaving town when he's told to. Howard said then the colonel comes in to protect the town from Rambo. Howard said that they have everything chasing him. He said the town is fucked. Howard said that he gets good and pissed off and tells them to drop it and he'll stop. He said they don't stop so Rambo blows up the town with a rocket grenade. Howard said they just had to fuck with Rambo. Howard said they tell him he looks like a vagrant but every hair is in place. Howard said that they just had to let him eat breakfast and they would have been fine.
Howard said J.J. is coming in and they also have Mick the Nerd and Wolfie there. Howard said Mick is going to ask J.J. a question. Howard said he likes Star Wars but he's not an idiot like some of these people. Robin said people are going to show up in costume. Howard said that he thinks Mick is going to cum in his pants when he meets J.J. today. They went to break after that.
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Howard said this pretty girl goes to work every day and she comes home and wonders where her nice panties are. Howard said he's reading this story about how she found out that her bras and panties were disappearing. Howard said she set up an app on her phone to start recording when there's motion in the room. Howard read the article to Robin and told her how she caught the building super stealing her stuff. Howard said he's a man and he's embarrassed by this story. Howard said that there has to be something wrong with you if you do stuff like this. Howard said the woman used a special app on her phone to catch this guy.
Howard read about how the woman caught the superintendent entering her apartment and taking her underwear. Howard said he takes a deep whiff of them. Howard said imagine being a man and being reduced to doing stuff like that. Howard said he's smelling her stinky underwear. Howard said he's pretty pervy but he wouldn't even do stuff like that. Howard said he even jerks off a couple times a day. He said he had a couple of unsuccessful attempts. Howard said he and his wife would have sex and he'd try to jerk off the same day. Howard said Ronnie is able to do that. Howard said that he put on YouPorn and he was hard as a rock and beating his meat. He said all of a sudden he's not able to cum and it's just over. Howard said he's got nothing in the chamber. Howard said he gets up the next morning and tries again. He said that he watched another fake agent video or something like that. Howard said he jerked off and he wasn't able to cum again. Howard said that night he was able to successfully cum. He said sometimes you jerk off and there's just nothing in there.
Robin said she was listening to an old Willie Nelson interview this morning and he talked about how the urge is still there but you might fail at it. Howard said he has never taken a Viagra in his life. Robin asked if he would if he wasn't able to do it. Howard said no. He said it would be a blessing. He said he'd just say that's that. He said he thinks Beth would be fine with that too. He said it can't be pleasant to have him on top of her.
Howard read more about this woman whose panties were stolen. Howard said the name of the app was ''Presence.'' He said that he night have to set that up on his old iPhones. Howard said that Sal and Richard might do something like that to his underwear. Howard read through more of the article and what's going on with the case.
Howard wondered if she has to pay rent for the month after that. Robin said the guy worked there, he didn't own the building. Howard said the person who owns it should give her a break. Howard said that rent is crazy in New York. Howard said everything is crazy about New York.
Howard said that story got him going over vacation. He said he was doing a rap on it with Beth. He said he wanted to save it for the show though. He said there's a part of him that doesn't want to do the show anymore but he's doing it on vacation anyway so he might as well come in there and do it.
Howard said he has another phony phone call that Jessica Kirson did. Howard played the call where Jessica calls a balloon store and tells her that they're doing a practice for the Thanksgiving day parade. She was asking how to keep them down out of the wind. Then she says she's starting to float away on Bullwinkel's tail. She hits birds and the woman on the phone tells her to just call 9-1-1.
Howard said that call makes no sense. Howard said she's going around like the phone is stationary and she's moving. Howard said that was a little phony phone call nonsense for the holidays. Howard had Fred try to recreate what was happening in that call.
The caller asked if Howard has ever come across a parody porn of his show. Howard said he did see that years ago. Howard said he fucked Robin in that porn. Howard said he had a big cock in that too. He said it wasn't good porn though.
Howard said that the Dixie Chicks are going back on tour and Natalie Maines says that she'll have Flat Ronnie on stage if they get her one. Howard asked Gary if they have that going yet. Gary said they're working on it but they're not going on tour until next year sometime so they'll be fine. Howard said that Natalie keeps arguing with him about Tan Mom not being in the Wack Pack. He said she won't let it go. Howard said that he invented it so she can't argue with him about it. Howard said this message was great about the Flat Ronnie thing. Howard said he was happy to hear about that.
Robin said Natalie asked her to open for her. Howard said that would be great. Howard said he loves Robin singing. Howard played some of her singing Adele's ''Hello''.
Howard said Shuli called Ass Napkin Ed as Tan Mom and had phone sex with him. Howard said Ed didn't even seem to care that it was Shuli when he found out. Howard played the audio of Shuli talking to Ed and having phone sex with him. Shuli was asking Ed what his cum tastes like after he finished. Ed said it's salty. Howard said that Shuli is way into that impression. He said he's not sure how he explains to his wife and kids what he does for a living. Howard said that he's pretending to be Tan Mom and having phone sex with Ed.
Howard said Shuli was late for work the other day and he wrote him an apology note. Howard said that he can't be serious about being late for this job. Howard said that he's getting paid to fuck with people and he's late. Howard said if you hit a home run there you walk around like a super star for the day. Howard said Shuli was walking around like a peacock after his Tan Mom impression.
Howard said he should take another break. He said he has plenty of time before J.J. gets there but he should take a break. Howard said he has so many tapes to play but he should probably break. They went to break after that.
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Howard said he has more song parodies about JD. He said JD goes nuts when they bring him up. Howard played a clip of an 8 year old talking about changing sheets. The guy was asking the kid what can happen after a year if you don't change your sheets. The kid said you can get Ebola or something. Howard said there are skin infections you can get from dirty sheets. Howard said that some people are more susceptible to the infections than others.
Howard said that bacteria grows at room temperature. He said there are also dust mites. He said that bacteria can live in the dust too. Howard said people are consumed with JD and his sheets. Howard played a song parody about him not washing his sheets from Psych.
Gary said JD is really sensitive about the whole thing. He said his son was up there the other day and he asked how often he washes his sheets and JD came in freaking out about him asking. Howard asked JD what his schedule is now. JD said he has a new set on his bed right now and he's doing it about every 2 weeks. Robin said the article said once a week is what he should be doing. JD said he knows. He said it doesn't matter... whatever. Gary asked how often he washes his clothes. JD said he does it weekly. Howard said he thinks he's lying. He said it's got to be longer. JD said it's once a week.
Howard said JD's Sheets are on the phone. Howard took the call from the same guy who does The Lump and Bobo's Toupee. JD's Sheets said he should be washed about twice a week based on how dirty he is.
Howard played another song parody about JD's sheets from Daniel Mendelson. Howard asked what they think of that. JD's Sheets liked that one. JD tried to say something but told him to forget it.
Howard asked JD how often he changes his toothbrush. JD said he doesn't know. He said he's done answering what he does. He told him to just leave him alone. Howard asked if he has a toothbrush. JD laughed and said yes. Howard asked how often Robin changes her's. Robin said she does it about once a month. Howard said JD doesn't floss. JD said that's right. Howard asked when he last had his teeth cleaned. JD said it's been about a year. Howard said he should go every 3-4 months. Howard said that he must need a transfusion from the blood coming out of his gums after that long. Howard said that's very serious stuff. Howard asked if his gums bleed on his sheets. JD said that if that stuff happened he would wash his sheets.
Howard said Richard had 12 cavities at one time because he didn't go to the dentist. Howard said his dad told him to be careful going because his sister had a bad experience there. Howard said that's because they ever go.
Howard said Richard used to clean his teeth with a towel. He said their guys have the worst hygiene. Sal came in and told Howard that they shared a hotel room when they were on tour. He said that Richard saw him brushing his teeth and he said they were on vacation so he didn't have to do that. Sal said Richard just grabbed one of those little towels that they have in the hotel room and wiped his teeth. Sal said those are the towels that guys jerk off into. Howard said Sal is the one jerking off into them.
Howard said that Richard was proud that he only brushed his teeth once when he was in high school. Howard said he's not sure how he could do that. Howard said one time during his entire high school. Richard came in and said that's true. He said he got really bad canker sores. He said he tried brushing his teeth but it hurt. He said he likes brushing his teeth now though. Sal said his 3 year old can brush his own teeth. Richard said his parents have false teeth so he figured that was easy to do so he figured he'd be able to do that some day.
Robin asked where the towel rubbing of the teeth came from. Howard did his Richard's dad impression and said he was the one who taught him. Howard had Richard's Dad talking about making his first set of teeth from Raccoon bones.
Richard said when he first got dental insurance he went nuts. He had 12 cavities and he had to get 2 root canals. Sal and Howard had fun making fun of that. They were talking about how the insurance company went out of business. They were saying that Richard only has 7 teeth and he had 12 cavities. They were cracking each other up with that stuff.
Howard said they have JD changing his sheets once a year and Richard staying in a storage unit and showering just once a week. Richard said he had to use a garden hose to do that. Howard had Richard's dad telling Richard not to shower because his sister had a bad shower once.
Howard said it's a bunch of fucking animals around here. Richard said he used to shower with the hose and he'd be in his underwear doing it so people would drive by and watch. He said they'd drive by really slow. Howard said he must have stunk living in that storage unit. Richard said it was bad. He said that he would sweat a lot because it was so hot in there. He said he took Sal to see the storage unit. Sal said it was scary. Howard let the two of them go after that. Howard said he can't believe who he's working with sometimes.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's trying to get out to see Beth tomorrow when she does her book signing in Ridgewood, NJ. Mariann asked if they saw the Daily News yesterday. Howard said that Beth is out doing the promotion for her book. She said she's doing a whole thing.
Mariann said something about people wanting a picture of Howard but he hung up on her. He said she really is a sweetheart. Howard said if they don't make a deal he's not sure what will happen. He said he didn't think about her the whole week and a half he was off.
Howard said that he should say hi to Mick the Nerd before J.J. gets there. Howard said he has some questions about the Star Wars thing but he asked Mick to come in to ask some questions. Howard said that he should wait to bring in Mick.
Howard said that he has more to play but he's not sure what he should play. He said maybe another phone call. Howard took a call from Mark in Boston. Howard said he has a story to read from the Huffington Post. Howard said there's a story about a guy who was elected to be police chief near Pittsburgh. Howard said that this guy sends out an email about fund raising for books and the guy asked people to donate. Howard said the guy said that ''Them Sharon niggers gotta to learn how to read.'' Howard said the best part is that the guy apologized. Howard said that the guy was soliciting for money to raise money for books when he did that. Howard said that his apology is the best. Howard read that too. Howard said that he somehow won the election. Mark said maybe them niggers couldn't read. Gary said the mayor of the town is a black woman and she stands behind him as police chief. Howard said that's awfully magnanimous of her.
Howard said there's a story about Tim Tebow in the paper about a woman he was dating and she's breaking up with him because he hasn't fucked her in the 2 months they've been dating. Howard said the guy doesn't fuck anyone. Howard said that this was in the NY Daily News. Howard said that the woman dumped her after 2 months because of that. Howard said that she claims she can't deal with that lifestyle. Howard said that guy is too old not to be getting laid. Fred said that guy is only 28. Robin asked what that indicates to Howard. Howard said anything he says there can get him into trouble. He said he admires his devotion to Jesus.
Mark told Howard about how the cleaning crew should come up and testify to what goes on in JD's room. Howard said they wanted to use one of those blue lights on his room but JD won't let them do it.
Mark asked if Robin ever masturbates to get to sleep. Robin said that it works the opposite for women so that doesn't work. She said sometimes she'll do it in the morning to get her going.
Mark asked if J.J. is going to give Howard a pre-screening. Howard said he doesn't care. He said he'd rather not go to a theater. Howard said that he would rather watch at home. He said he's sure they won't even do that for him. He said that they have a Pix screening thing that they give to people like him to watch movies but he's not going to watch it if they put his name across the screen. Howard said he has become such a recluse lately. He said that he is off the chart recluse. Howard said he took a test to figure out if he is one. He said that he has trouble just getting out to go to work. He said it's like tearing him out of the womb. Howard said he was going to go for a walk the other day and he stayed home.
Mark said he saw Howard on the red carpet the other day and he looked great. Howard said he looked horrible. He said everyone shoots from underneath him and he looks horrible. Mark said he didn't have any frizz in his hair. Howard said he did his own hair that day. He said ie looked okay but not as good as it does when Toni does it.
Howard said he thought about slicking his hair back but Beth told him no. He said that it's too much face for him. He said Johnny Depp is always doing that. He said Rambo had a nice hair style. Robin said he used to have that hair do. Howard said he doesn't have that anymore.
Howard said it's too depressing to talk about his looks. He said that he's running out of time to talk to Mick. He said that he will come in when J.J. is there. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that was a very heavy conversation in that phony phone call. Howard said he thinks that's a religious show and the guy was talking about how it's a good reason for abortion. Howard said they sent in a prayer request to one show and the guy sang about Jeff the Drunk's lump. Howard played that clip too.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said thank god for that song. Jeff told Howard all of his tickets for his show in L.A. are sold out. Howard said that they have talked about that. There were just 40 tickets and Jeff is getting paid nothing. Jeff said he's having a good time out there. He said it's paying for his way out there. Howard had The Lump on the phone too. The Lump said that he just wanted to say that Jeff is disgusting. He said Jeff dripped turkey and stuffing all over him. He said it was horrific. Howard said he was looking at the video of the trailer where the abortion clinic guy lived and it looks like Jeff's. He said Jeff's is even more dilapidated than that guy's. Jeff said his trailer is fucking gorgeous. The Lump said that ISIS wouldn't even live there. Jeff told him to fuck off.
The Lump said he made a wish with the wishbone but Jeff is still alive. Jeff said that he wishes that The Lump would never talk to him again. They went back and forth with that for a few seconds.
Howard asked Jeff if he had turkey for Thanksgiving. Jeff said he made a turkey and the stuffing also. Robin asked if he Periscoeped all of that. Jeff said he did. He said he made a pumpkin pie too.
Howard said he saw that Jeff put the turkey on his floor for 24 hours. Jeff said he was thawing it out but it was in the wrapper. Shuli came in and said that Jeff leaves it on the floor. Jeff said it's in the bag with handles. Shuli asked if he has to tear it open with his teeth. Jeff said no.
Howard let Jeff and The Lump go. He had Joey on the phone but Joey was sleeping. Shuli said he was staring at his kitchen chairs and thinking there was no way that they'd hold 400 pounds. He said High Pitch Eric is over 400 now. Howard said that you'd expect them to be kind of dangerous.
Shuli said that Eric and Joey were leaving but as they were leaving he smelled the smell of shit. He said Joey went and took a shit in his bathroom. He said it's a small 2 bedroom apartment. He said he would have grenaded that apartment if he could have. He said they had to leave the apartment for 2 hours to get away from the smell. He said that was his only complaint of the evening though.
Shuli said by the time he realized he shit Joey was already gone. He said it was brutal. He said he looked at his wife and asked if she was happy. Shuli said they all left the apartment for a while.
Howard said that Jason Kaplan went to Orlando for Thanksgiving and it was like they had never seen a Jew there before. Jason came in and said they were in a hotel and it was their anniversary. He said that he didn't have any change there and he gave the guy a 20. He said that he guy said to him that he knew he was going to get a good tip because he was Jewish. Jason said the guy went on and on. He said later that week he gave a big tip and he got the same rap from a different guy. He said that he brought up the Jew thing again and said he knew it from seeing his name. Howard said that the rumor is that Jews are cheap though so that's fucking crazy.
Jason said in another story he was out to brunch with a friend in Orlando and he ate a bagel and the guy said to him he's going for the stereotypical Jewish meal. He said that he would never say that to anyone but they have no problem saying it.
Howard let Jason go after that and took a call from a guy who said he drives a truck and he thought that it would be great to have a Flat Ronnie on the road with him. Howard said they're working on getting some made.
Howard said that he has a woman on the phone who he met at the North Shore thing and she had her own Flat Ronnie. Howard said he doesn't know if that's allowed. The caller said that she had to do it. She said that they had to bring one. She said that her husband smuggled it into the event. Howard said he was shocked and a little upset that they were making their own. Howard said it was a good one and a lot of people posed with it. Howard said this was a small version though.
Howard said that they had a little poll up this morning asking who was grosser, JD or Richard, and Richard won with like 73 percent of the votes. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and sang along with the Elton John song for a few seconds. Howard said that J.J. Abrams is there and he's the new director of the new Star Wars movie. Howard played him in with the Star Wars music. Howard asked if he used it in the movie. J.J. said yes, of course. He said that he's not reinventing the franchise. Howard asked what they're going to see. J.J. said it's a continuation of the franchise. Howard said it's 40 years in the future. Howard said that Disney brought J.J. into this world and got rid of George Lucas because he bombed out 3 times. J.J. said that's not the strategy. He said he's sure there were board meetings and stuff. He said there were a bunch of stories to be told and they saw that.
Howard said that Bob Iger wanted to get someone to direct and they paid George Lucas 4 billion for the franchise. Howard said that J.J. is the top guy in the business. Howard said he could be a real asshole if he wanted to. Howard said he has done so much and he's in that Spielberg kind of world. J.J. said oh please. Howard said he could walk around and be a dickwad. J.J. said anyone can do that. Howard asked who the top Jew director is in the world, him or Spielberg. J.J. laughed. Howard said he hears that J.J. is a good dude and a family man. J.J. thanked him for that.
Howard asked if it's true that he wasn't working on the weekends while shooting Star Wars. J.J. said he had his daughter with him there in London. He said he was there for 3 months and he didn't see his wife all that time. He said it was a disaster. He said that they knew that year was going to be intense. He said Star Wars was a part of it. Howard asked if he ever thought he took on too much. J.J. said oh yes. He said that there were times when he thought it was too much. He said that he and his wife were committing to a lot of struggle. He said there are jobs that are harder than that like being in the military. J.J. said taking on this movie was a selfish thing. Howard said this is such an important franchise. Howard asked if the budget is like $400 million. J.J. said it's probably close to that with advertising. Howard asked how much interference he got from Disney. J.J. said he thought that was going to happen but they let them make their movie. He said he couldn't believe how they let them do their thing. J.J. said they weren't hands on. They were very curious but they were incredibly collaborative.
Howard asked if it's something else when he has a big budget like that. J.J. said they knew they needed something great and it had to be done in a certain time frame. He said that they did all they could to separate themselves from that noise. J.J. said that he's sure that Howard had to do that when he came to Sirius.
Howard said Shatner called J.J. a pig for doing Star Trek and Star Wars. J.J. said that's a badge of honor. He said that he was saying in a semi-joking way that he has too many Star titles for one person. Howard asked if he would ever do a small independent films. J.J. said of course he would. He said that there is very little difference when you tell a story. He said everything is relative. He said if you make more money then you want something bigger. He said working on this movie was challenging but at the same time it was the same as telling a story in Felicity. Robin asked where the stories came from. J.J. said that he and Larry Kasdan wrote it.
J.J. said that he screened the movie for some people and he wasn't finished with it. He said the effects weren't in it yet. He said he was terrified doing that. Howard said that's not a good way to show the film. J.J. said that's true. He said that the people at Disney wanted to see it and it was about showing them where they were at. He said they were going to be changing a lot of things. Howard asked what happens after he shows it to them. J.J. said that he was watching body language and things. He said that he ended up taking more notes than they did. He said that he couldn't tell if they were miserable or not. Howard asked what they said after. J.J. said it was the biggest relief. He said that he was so critical of his own thing that he thought they were just being nice.
Howard said no matter how much you make you have to prove yourself all over again. J.J. said he found that it gets harder. He said it's more difficult because you can't do that thing you just did. He said he has done other stuff and he doesn't know how or why it's harder next time.
Howard asked if he heard from every actress and actor in Hollywood when he was casting. Howard said it's like a license for an actor to print money. J.J. said they heard from a lot of people but he wasn't getting the calls. He said the casting director may have felt that way.
Howard asked how long it took him to make his decision to make the movie. J.J. said he said no at first. He said he was sick of doing movies with numbers. He said he did Mission Impossible and Star Trek too. He said that Kathy Kennedy from Disney asked him to sit down and talk about it. He said they started talking about what it could be and he felt himself being on fire. He said they were talking about the characters and all of that. He said that George Lucas wanted to do Flash Gordon but he wasn't able to get the rights. He said George created Star Wars. He said Star Wars came about 40 years after Flash Gordon and this Star Wars is about 40 years after Return of the Jedi. He said for 19 year olds the characters are myths. He said that he got the feeling that a new, young character would ask who Luck Skywalker is. He said that made him feel like that is so cool. He said that they're kids finding out about something like the movie Star Wars. He said it's rediscovering a world.
Howard said there is controversy about casting a black guy as a Stormtrooper. J.J. said he doesn't know. Howard asked what the controversy is. J.J. said he doesn't know either. Howard said he doesn't get it at all. J.J. said that John Boyega does a great job in the movie too.
Howard asked why there's a big secret about him breaking his back in the movie. J.J. said that Harrison Ford broke his leg when a door came down on him. He said that he was there with one of his idols and he tried to lift up the door that was on his leg. He said he was acting like The Hulk and he discovered that a hydraulic door can't be lifting and bones can break. He said he felt a pop in his back. Then the door opens up and all day his back is hurting. He said that Harrison's leg was broken and that's what he was worried about. He said Harrison came back 3 months later to shoot his scenes. Howard asked how that works. J.J. said they had to rearrange the schedule. He said that Harrison came back on fire after that. J.J. said a week later he gets a scan of his back and he finds out that his back is broken. He said he fractured his L4. He said he had to wear a brace under his shirt. He said he didn't tell anyone on the crew about that.
Howard asked about when he's writing the movie and he's thinking of casting Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill does he have to think about them taking the parts. J.J. said they had already agreed to do it. He said they had figured all of that out before he showed up. Howard asked how crucial they are to the movie. J.J. said they are very important. He said that there are new people in it but they are important.
Howard asked if J.J. went to Leonard Nimoy's funeral. J.J. said he did. He said Leonard was the greatest. He said he was the dream version of a gentleman. Howard asked if he was fun to work with. J.J. said there was a day when they were shooting on the first Star Trek movie they did and he was going down a spaceship set and he fell. He said that he hit his nose and broke it. He said he had a gash on his nose and he though this was a disaster. He said he felt horrible. He said he was in his 70s at this point. He said Leonard was all shaken up but then 20 minutes later he wanted to keep shooting. He said they put make up on him and he kept going.
Howard said it's a sad moment when you lose a guy like that. J.J. said it's so sad. Howard said that there must be people who are tough to work with. J.J. said there have been a few but it doesn't happen often. Howard asked if there have been people who he said he'd never work with again. J.J. said here have been. He said that it's because they're nuts or too much to handle. He said that they can be great actors but they can be miserable to be around. J.J. said there are really good people who can be kind too.
Howard asked J.J. about showing Star Wars to a guy who was dying. J.J. said that his name was Daniel Fleetwood and he had reached out to them. He said they were able to show it to him and a handful of other people who were in unfortunate situations. Howard said that there must be some people who try to fake it. J.J. said that these people didn't do that. He said Daniel died since seeing it. He said that it's been very sobering to know that this is something that people are so into.
Howard asked if anyone has been upset about seeing it. J.J. said he hasn't had that yet. Howard asked if he has done test screenings. J.J. said he hasn't. He said he has done it with close friends. Howard asked how much security is around it. J.J. said that Disney is pretty tight with that. Howard asked if it's going to be in 3D. J.J. said it is. He said that he thinks it's kind of fun in 3D but he prefers to watch a movie without glasses on. J.J. said they have new projectors that are lasers so they're nice and bright now.
Howard said that he promised that Mick the Nerd could come in and ask him some questions. He said he doesn't have to answer him but he is going to come in. J.J. was fine with that. Mick came in and Howard asked how important this is to him. Mick said that this is equal to pretty much any franchise he likes. Howard asked him to name his top 5. DC, Marvel, Dragon Ball and Star Wars were a bunch. Mick said that the best of Star Wars is the fall of grace theme in the movies.
Howard asked if J.J. is an important figure to Mick. Mick said that he is good. He said people are very excited about this film because J.J. is directing it.
Mick had a whole list of questions. Howard told him to ask his most important question. Mick asked about how many Ewoks Kylo Ren had to kill to get Vader's mask. J.J. said that he appreciates the question but he asked for the next one. Mick asked about which fighter is more astrodynamic, the X-wing or TIE fighter. J.J. tried answering that one. Howard asked about why people are upset about the black Stormtrooper. Mick said that some of those people who are upset are just racist. Howard asked Mick how old he is. Mick said he's 25. Howard said he looks 40.
Howard said this film is very important. Howard asked what Mick is looking for in this film and if he'll be in line first. Mick said he'll wait for the second day and he won't be in costume. Howard asked if he's worried that people are showing up in costume. J.J. said he's not and he doesn't know if anyone is. Robin said some of the theaters are worried.
Howard asked Mick about worrying about the dialog being cheesy. Mick said that he's worried that it's going to be like the last 3 Star Wars films. Gary said that he heard that J.J. and his partner are flying all over to do Comic-Cons all over the world. J.J. said he's not going to all of them.
Howard let Mick go after that. J.J. said it was a pleasure. Howard thanked Mick for coming in. He thanked him for dressing up for the appearance too. He said Mick is a very nice guy. Howard said he's one of the biggest fans of the franchise. He said he knows all of the minutia.
J.J. said there is a guy at Lucasfilm named Pablo who he can ask about anything like that and he knows the answers. He said there is a whole extended universe that he'd have to research too.
Howard asked why they're not showing Luke Skywalker in the trailers. J.J. said he's trying not to ruin it for everyone. He said they don't have to show the whole story. He said he'd rather be asking questions. Howard said he sees the trailers and he feels like he's seen the entire movie. J.J. said then you see the movie and you have seen it all. Robin asked Howard where he's going to see the movie. Howard said he doesn't know. J.J. said he'll set up a screening. Howard asked if he can set it up at his apartment. J.J. said he'll do anything he wants. Howard said he's excited about it. He said he's excited for J.J. too. Robin said she watched the original. She said the first one was her favorite. Howard said he liked the first 3. Robin said the very first one was her favorite.
Howard said that J.J. loved the Exorcist and he wrote a letter to the makeup guy and he sent him a tongue from the movie. J.J. said that's right. He said Dick Smith was someone who did a lot of great movies. He said that he sent the fan letter at 13 and he received in the mail a box with a tongue in it. He said there was a hand written note and a foam latex tongue. He said that he started a correspondence with Dick and he was corresponding with about 100 other kids. He said that he introduced him to Guillermo Del Toro in 1990 or so. He said he was 15 or 16 and he was in an airport and he thought that Dick Smith was there. He said he had 4 fingers on his left hand and he saw that. He said that was him and he said hello and he was a great guy. He said he got to work with him years later. Howard asked if J.J. has seen The Strain. J.J. said he's been so busy the past couple of years he hasn't had time to see that stuff.
Howard asked if he bought the rights to the Martin Luther King story. J.J. said they're producing something with Tavis Smiley. He said that he wrote a book about King and they're producing a movie. J.J. said that he's also working on a biopic about Thomas Edison. He said his production company, Bad Robot, has a lot going on.
Howard asked J.J. if he's working on something top secret. J.J. said he has nothing top secret. He said he's been so focused on the Star Wars thing. Howard asked when he's going to see the movie with an audience. J.J. said they're doing one soon with the cast. Howard said he can't go to L.A. to see it. He said he barely leaves his apartment.
Howard said that the movie ''Star Wars The Force Awakens'' is coming out December 18th. Howard said if it's not big then it won't bring more. Howard said you have to go out and see it. Howard said they've already written the next one. J.J. said the next one starts shooting very soon. He said he is an Executive Producer on the next one but he's not directing. Robin asked if George Lucas has not seen them yet. J.J. said George has been very generous. He said he's been amazing. He said that he called him when he first signed on and they met with him about the story. Howard said George could fuck it all up. Robin said he did create Jar Jar Binks so he could screw it up. Howard said it's amazing that George got 4 billion for that franchise. Howard asked if J.J. is ever going to get that. J.J. said he's not sure about that. Howard did his Lloyd Braun impression and asked J.J. some more questions about the big money. J.J. laughed.
Howard said they're predicting a $500 million first weekend. J.J. said that's preposterous. He said it can never be as big as the first one. Howard asked if he approves on the merchandising of all of that stuff. J.J. said they run it by them but that's it. Howard said J.J. took this on and he has to think it's going to be huge.
Robin asked if there is going to be another Star Trek movie. J.J. said they just did one with Justin Lynn directing it. Howard said he wants to thank J.J. for everything he's done. Howard said he makes life fun and he has to thank him for that. Howard said he's done it all except adopt a black child. J.J. got a laugh out of that when Howard did his Lloyd Braun impression again. Howard gave J.J. some more plugs for Star Wars and wrapped up. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he was saying to the guys that Mick the Nerd was kind of like ''He's okay'' about J.J. Howard said it was kind of funny he wasn't that excited to meet the guy. Robin said maybe that's excitement for Mick. Howard said that he's not sure if he's still there. They brought Mick in a few seconds later.
Howard said he thought that Mick would be more into J.J. Mick said he was interested. He said he doesn't really get all that excited. He said he has mellowed out over the years. Howard asked if there is anyone he'd get excited over. Mick said there are some but J.J. wasn't one of them. Howard asked if he liked Star Trek. Mick said he hasn't seen it yet. He said he's watching the animated series and watching everything in order.
Robin asked if he'd be excited to meet George Lucas. Mick said it would be conflicting. He said it's a whole weird mess with the first six.
Howard said in the new Star Wars they're wondering how they got the old Darth Vader mask from the old movies. He said Mick was asking about that earlier. Mick said they never really explained that in the movie or in the books. Robin said he was asking how many Ewoks he had to kill to get it. Mick said the answer could be zero. He said he thinks that was a good question. He wondered if he has the rest of the armor too. Howard said when you have guys like this you can't fuck up. Howard said he knows the folk lore better than anyone. Mick said he wouldn't say that because there's a whole hodge podge of other stuff out there about the Star Wars world. Mick said he was a fan of the animated series too. He said that they did an amazing animated series based on the Clone Wars and that was a shock. He said that people just don't want this new Star Wars movie to suck.
Howard said there are a lot of people putting a lot of energy into this stuff and not getting pussy. Howard said he thinks that some people are better off with Star Wars and not pussy. Howard asked Mick to name 5 bounty hunters from Star Wars. Mick named 3 no problem. Howard said any guy who knows this much shit about Star Wars is going to be disappointed by pussy.
Howard said that Mick went on a date. He said the chick he went on the date with was super hot. Howard said at the end of the date Mick was like ''She's just a friend...'' but the chick was interested in him. Howard had Wolfie come in to explain this.
Wolfie came in and said that they met this woman at a convention and she agreed to go on a date. Howard asked if Mick didn't want to bang her. Mick said not really. He said he is more personality and not so much looks. Howard said she seemed to have personality. Mick said she wasn't bad. He said that he wants a woman to have similar interests to his. Wolfie said he asked Mick if he would rather spends his time on a deserted island with him or that woman and Mick picked him. Mick said he is into girls but he did pick Wolfie. Howard said Mick isn't a bad looking dude. Howard said he has a Benjy beard going on. He said Benjy dyes his beard though. Howard said he has to lighten up on that. Benjy said he does it on the weekends and it's just on Mondays that it's like that.
Wolfie said that Mick's beard comes off in a month. He said that he can't wait to see that. Howard said he heard that Mick likes Robin. Mick said that he does. Howard asked if he'd fuck her. Mick said he would. Wolfie said he likes her voice. Mick said that he could get off to her voice. Howard said Robin is watching Star Wars to prepare for the new film. Mick said he didn't even think of doing that.
Howard said he has some tape of Mick's date. Howard asked how close he's come to getting pussy. Mick said he has kissed but that's about it. He said he hasn't touched a tittie. Howard told Robin to come on. Robin said no way. Benjy volunteered to let him touch his tits but Mick turned him down.
Howard told Mick he has to learn some table manners. Howard said he was on the date and he was just burping. Howard played the clip and Mick burped and the girl was saying that's not very polite. Mick said he was sorry he did that. Howard asked if he forgets about that kind of stuff.
Howard asked Mick about staying at someone's house at an AirBNB place and he got a bad review. Mick said that the woman accused him of blackmailing her after she accused him of saying something homophobic. Wolfie said they said Mick doesn't know how to deal with people in his review. Howard said Mick doesn't come off as homophobic. Howard said he seems like a good guy.
Howard played another clip of Mick at dinner and giving a toast. Mick tried talking to the woman about Ultraman and she had no idea who that was. Howard said that's why Mick doesn't like her. Howard said he is into stuff that his wife isn't into. Howard said that you'll never find a woman who is into everything you're into. Mick just have a ''Hmm'' for that. Mick said he thinks that woman is engaged. Wolfie said he didn't hear that.
Howard had another clip of Mick on his date and he placed his order before his date. Wolfie told him that was rude and he should let the lady go first. Mick said he was starving that day. Wolfie said as soon as the food hit his plate he devoured it. Howard asked if there's food in that beard. Wolfie said there was. He said that he is like a wet dry vac. He said that he'll get beer in his beard and he'll suck the beer out of the beard.
Howard had another clip where they were talking about porno during the date. Mick said he used to watch stuff but he can't stand the free stuff. Howard said there's tons of great stuff on YouPorn. Mick just gave him another ''him'' when he said that. Howard said he likes fake agent porn. Mick wasn't familiar with that. Mick likes consensual porn. He said he reads a lot of porn comics. Howard sounded surprised by that. Mick said that free porn is usually terrible. Howard said YouPorn is great. Mick said he likes the animated porn. Howard said he doesn't know that many virgins who are that picky about what they beat off to.
Howard asked how many times a day he jerks off. Mick said maybe once or twice a day. Howard asked if he can beat off to My Little Pony. Mick said he's not into that. He said they're called Cloppers and that's weird.
Howard played the clip of Mick's date talking about porn and kind of putting Mick down over some of the porn he's seen. Mick said his friends were over and they were looking up fucked up shit on the internet and that's what he saw. He saw porn of Spongebob and Patrick doing something.
Howard played another clip where Mick was talking about his gardening and how he had to pull out so many dead tomato plants. Howard said Mick is into video games too. He said he can play for like 15 hours. Mick said it's more like 5 hours.
Howard played another clip where Mick was talking to his date. Howard asked if he asked her any questions. Mick said that he did but not a ton. Howard asked if Spongebob shot off a load in that comic he read. Mick said he doesn't think so.
Howard said this woman, Julie, was into doing a second date. Howard had another clip of Julie talking about how interesting Mick was. She said she'd be willing to go on another date. Wolfie was asking her about Mick sucking the beer off his beard. She talked about that and said it was an honor to go on his first date. Mick also talked about her and how it was good beer and food and good conversation. Mick said he'd like to connect with her mentally on a friend level but it's not romantic. Howard said he doesn't get that. Mick was saying that she was interesting and he'd like to hang with her more. Mick said there wasn't a spark there.
Wolfie said Mick is an evolved dude. He washes his sheets every 2 weeks. Howard said that Mick is a clean dude. He played another clip of Mick talking about how much he likes Robin's voice. Howard played some audio of Robin singing so he could hear that. Howard asked what Mick would like to do to Robin. Mick said he's trying not to make it sound creepy. He said that he'd like to do dinner, a movie, TV and then sex. Howard asked what he'd watch on TV. Mick didn't really have anything. Howard asked if he takes her clothes off first or does she take his off. Mick said he'd prefer to be disrobed. Howard said then he takes her clothes off. Mick said he'd go with that. Howard asked if Wolfie is there in the room too. Everyone laughed. Mick said he would not be there in this case. He said if he was filming it then maybe.
Howard asked if Mick would ever do any man grooming for the date. Mick said no. Howard said Robin would have to go through that thicket. Howard asked if he has a big penis. Mick said yes and said it's about 5 and a half. Howard said he's honest. Howard said that you can't even see his penis when it's soft.
Gary came in with some of the Spongebob porn. Gary told Howard that Spongebob and Patrick are double teaming Patty. Howard said that Spongebob has a cock that's huge. Mick said that looks different than what he saw.
Howard asked if Mick thinks Robin is gentle in bed. Mick said he thinks she would be. Howard said she could rock his world. Howard asked what Mick thinks a vagina feels like. Mick said it's nice and warm from what he's heard.
Howard thanked Mick and Wolfie for coming in. Wolfie said that Mick made his comic and that's coming out. Howard said they put that up on their web site. Mick said he raised about $1,000 to get that published. Howard said that he needs some help with his drawings. Mick said that's a style he developed in high school.
Howard asked Mick if he had a choice of sex with Robin or a private screening of Star Wars, which would he pick. Mick said ''Star Wars'' before he even finished the question. Howard said this is famous pussy though. Mick said that no offense to Robin but Star Wars it is. Howard asked if he could get a complete set of action figures or sex with Robin which would he pick. Mick picked sex with Robin.
Howard asked Robin if she would pick sex with Mick or the new Star Wars. Robin picked Star Wars. Howard asked Mick if it was sex with Robin or a dinner with George Lucas. Mick said he'd pick sex with Robin. Mick said he doesn't want to insult the guy to his face. Robin said she has met George Lucas.
Howard wrapped up with Mick and Wolfie. Howard said that Julie chick was cute. He let Wolfie and Mick go after that.
Howard read some email he got recently. Howard said Mary McCormack wrote to him saying that Tan Mom is definitely in the Wack Pack. Howard said he got a note from Marshall Fine saying that The Simpsons had a tribute to him and Fred in the most recent episode. They had a Hartford sign and it said ''The Place where Howard Stern met Fred Norris.'' Howard had some other email he went through about some things that were happening on the show before vacation.
Robin read more about Charlie Sheen and how there may be tapes out there of him having sex with transsexuals. Robin said there may be tapes of him having sex with men and woman as well. Robin wondered why he'd be taping all the time.
Robin read about how Penn State has had to settle with a bunch of families about the Jerry Sandusky case. Robin said they have settled 26 cases and it's been about $60 million.
Howard took a call from a guy who said J.J. Abrams was great. He asked if Howard did anything with his parents over the weekend. Howard said he saw them when two of his girls were in town. Howard said they saw them on Saturday. Howard said he's not going to do his impression of his parents right now though. Howard said his dad doesn't hear very well so he has to do a lot of repeating. Howard said he gets very annoyed if other people are speaking in the room. Howard said he's fine when you're just one on one with him. Howard said one story can last a whole day. He said he has like 90 percent hearing loss. Howard said he has a Hearing Aid but it's still tough for him.
Robin read a story about Sinead O'Connor writing a threat of suicide on Facebook. Howard said he feels bad for her. He said she clearly has some issues. Howard said that she's had some trouble with her kids and ex-husbands and stuff. Howard said she's just miserable so he feels bad for her. Howard said he saw her in a bathing suit once and she looked good. He said she had that shaved head though. He said he just looked at her body and she was pretty tight. Howard said he would have banged her back then when he was a younger man.
Robin read a story about a new born baby girl who was found buried under rubble in a river bed in Los Angeles. Robin said they found her under debris on a bike path by a river bed. Howard said he's sure these people who are against abortion will take that child in. Robin said they say the child was just born within the last couple of days.
Robin read a story about Kansas City police investigating a missing child case. Robin said a 44 year old man may have beaten his 7 year old son to death and may have fed the body to pigs. Robin said officers were called to the man's home outside of Kansas when the man tried to shoot his wife. Robin said they found human remains on the farm where the man lived. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a climate summit going on in Paris. Robin said security is heightened over there. Robin said the President is staying at the home of the ambassador instead of a hotel. Howard said he was close to going to Europe in the fall but because of all of this he changed his mind. Howard said there's no way he's going. Robin said she was thinking of going to Paris to visit. Howard said she's got to be kidding. Howard said she's had enough adventure in her life.
Robin asked Howard if he had leftovers from thanksgiving. Howard said he went to a restaurant so no. Robin said they say that it should be the last day today to have leftovers. Robin said that the department of agriculture says that 3 or 4 days is the most you should keep things refrigerated. Robin said frozen things will last longer but may lose their flavor. Robin said she had a Thanksgiving and cooked almost everything herself.
Robin read a story about today being Cyber Monday and it may be taking some fun away from Black Friday. Howard asked if she's sure it's still Monday because it feels like they've gone longer than that. Robin read about how to do secure shopping according to experts.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw Beth on a show called Hidden Heroes. He asked if he saw the picture of the woman who taped her dog's mouth shut. Howard said there is so much animal abuse out there. Howard said some of these things are so wrong. Howard said the book Beth just wrote (Yoda Gets A Buddy) is coming out tomorrow and it's about this cat Buddy. Howard said the cat had it's eyes burned up chemically when someone threw chemicals in his face. Howard said it's one horrible thing after another. Howard said that guy who shot up the Planned Parenthood thing was an animal abuser when he was younger too. The caller asked when they're going to rescue a dog. Howard said they have enough animals there. Howard said they just rescued a bird. Howard said he loved his bulldog but he would never get another one. Howard said man made this dog and it's a tortured animal. He said they have six adult cats they adopted and they also have 11 kittens and one mommy cat in the house. He said his living room is like Noah's Ark. Howard said they are the cutest animals though. Howard said he enjoys it. He's not complaining. He said he enjoys it. Howard said they have four kittens with their mom. He said he gets his coffee in the morning and the kittens make you forget all of your problems. He said they climb on you and they will even nest in his hair. Howard said Beth has it all on her Instagram. He said go out and buy her book to help the animals out.
Robin said tomorrow is ''Giving Tuesday.'' Howard said he's never heard of it. Robin said she tells him about it every year. Howard said he forgets it then. Howard said the day after tomorrow is BJ Wednesday. Robin said she's never heard of that. Howard said Thursday is Take Your Tits out Thursday. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a doctor who says not to let your kids listen to the news about terrorism. Robin said they say that children can become fearful if they see that in the news. Robin had some audio of a doctor talking about that.
Howard asked Tan Mom if she keeps her kids away from the news. Fred played some audio of Tan Mom speaking but then Howard took a call from Tan Mom who said she doesn't keep her kids from seeing reality. She said that you have to teach them reality. Robin tried to read more of the story and Tan Mom kept interrupting. Tan Mom said if you take the kids to the park there will be some guy who will take them into prostitution. She said that the kids have to be alert. Robin said the doctor says you shouldn't brush off your kid's worries.
Howard said that he has someone on the phone claiming to be Tan Mom. It was Shuli calling in as Tan Mom saying that Tan Mom was the imposter. Tan Mom and Fake Tan Mom were talking and it was very hard to tell them apart. Fake Tan Mom said she's the real Tan Mom. Tan Mom laughed. Tan Mom and Fake Tan Mom were going back and forth arguing about who was the real Tan Mom. Tan Mom told her to get the hell off the phone. Howard said he's having trouble telling them apart. Howard asked what their names were. They both said Patricia Krentcil. Tan Mom told Fake Tan Mom to hang up. Fake Tan Mom told her to hang up first. Howard said he can figure this out. Howard asked Tan Mom what she would do to Sal's penis. Tan Mom said nothing. Howard asked Fake Tan Mom what she'd do. Fake Tan Mom asked if Sal is there right now. Howard said he is. Fake Tan Mom said hi to Sal and asked what he's doing. Howard said that probably is the real Tan Mom. Tan Mom said that's not really her.
Sal came in and said he can tell them apart. Sal said that Tan Mom number 2 is the real one. He said he knows her very well. He told Howard to hang up on number 1. Howard said he knows the real Tan Mom. Howard asked how many metal plates Tan Mom has in her head. Tan Mom said it's 3. Howard said he thinks he has figured this out. He said the real Tan Mom is number 1 and he's going to hang up on number 2. Howard said the real Tan Mom is his friend. Fake Tan Mom asked if Sal is there and then broke down crying. Tan Mom told her that Sal is all her's. Sal asked Howard to hang up on both of them, please. Sal said he got about 10 messages from Tan Mom. He said he thinks she's using Memet as a pawn. Howard said they have to talk about that tomorrow.
Robin read about how Jeb Bush is saying that Donald Trump should not be considered for the republican party candidate. Robin had some audio of Jeb talking about Trump.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump defending his statement about Muslims dancing in the streets in New Jersey on 9/11 after the towers came down. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about that on a show and arguing with the host.
Robin read about the Planned Parenthood shooting and had some audio of Mike Huckabee talking about how horrible that was. Robin had some audio of Donald Trump talking about that too.
Robin read about Chris Christie getting a major endorsement from New Hampshire. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on that.
Robin read about Mary-Kate Olsen who just got married over the weekend. Robin had some details of that. She wrapped up a short time later. They were done around 11:20am.
Jon said that Paul is doing six more times the projects but he's not as busy as Robert. He asked him about balancing things in his career.
Jon brought up Star Wars and asked Robert how geeky he is. Robert said he loves Star Wars but his son is a fanatic. He said that Kirk Hammett is the real Star Wars guy. Jon said that Mick the Nerd met J.J. today and he just said he was an alright guy. Jon asked Paul what would happen if he met J.J.. Paul said he thinks the whole idea of meeting someone you love and how they just shut down. Paul said he met Joss Whedon once and just shut down. He said that you have so much to say that you just have to hold it all in. He said you have to keep it together. Jon asked Robert if that's fair. Robert said he thinks so. He said that maybe he thought that since he's not Lucas he's not big enough. Paul said Mick doesn't like Lucas because he wrecked Star Wars.
Jon said that J.J. was saying that this new Star Wars movie is about the three leads in the movie who don't know the history of the universe. He said that they're learning about it.
Paul said he loves listening to the people on the Stern Show who don't get any version of Star Wars. He said Howard is one of those people. He just knows Luke, Han Solo and Princess Leia. Gary said that he's the same way. The guys spent a little more time going over all of the Star Wars stuff.
Jon said he remembers when he went to see Episode 1 and how crappy it was. Gary said he saw something in the notes about how Mark Hamill being leery of J.J. Abrams because he directed Star Trek. He asked if there's really that much of a rivalry there. Jon said there is and that's a whole other show. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said they talked about Mick earlier. He said Mick is proud to be called a nerd. Robert said that revenge of the nerds is really happening now. Gary said he thinks it has to do with Big Bang Theory. Paul said that they have taken all of these factions and turned them into these little things. Robert said that Comic-Con is huge now and that all started because of the nerds. Paul said metal heads are all nerds too.
Jon asked Robert about working with Richard Christy. They spent a short time talking about that. Jon said they love hearing people like Robert talking about how great Richard is at drumming.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she was wondering how to get a hold of Mick because she'd like to really fuck him. She said he needs some pussy. She said she's not a nerd but she needs to meet someone who she can enjoy. Jon said he'll get her information off the air.
Jon said Mick went on a date with a super hot woman and now he has a woman calling. Paul said that Mick is putting off a cool guy vibe and he doesn't care. Gary asked if Mick is doing a preemptive strike so she can't turn him down. Paul said he thinks that he's a nerd because he has different opinions and he doesn't think he was into her. Gary said he's never gotten laid before though so the bar should be set at none. Gary said that the perfect woman should be for marriage and this wasn't for marriage.
Jon said that JD was holding out for 8's and 9's. Gary said that you don't have to fuck everything that walks but maybe he could have been more social if he had gone out with women who weren't 8's or 9's.
Gary asked if anyone else was shocked that Mick was only 25. Jon said he is a youngster. He said you can check him out on the web site for yourself.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about the questions Mick asked J.J. and what they thought about that. Jon asked Gary what he thought. Gary said he thought the first question was terrible. Gary said the second one was okay.
Robert said he and Kirk went to see Bowie once and they were hanging out in the back. He said their security guy asked them if they wanted to go back to the hotel with him. He said he did and he had no idea what to even ask. He said that Kirk was carrying the conversation. Gary said that the difference there is that Mick had 3 weeks to come up with questions.
Paul said he thought Mick's questions were terrible. He said that he has to ask things that he can actually answer. He said he'd ask things about Lawrence Kasdan writing with him. Jon said he didn't think the question was that bad. He said Darth Vader's helmet was on Endor so that was a fair question. He said that he other question was about X-wings and TIE fighters. Jon said that he isn't saying that it was a great question but it made sense to him. Jon said he would have asked J.J. about what was most important to pass along from the old movies to make this one great.
Gary said he would have asked what kind of thing he would have kept from the set. Paul said sometimes they don't let you take anything. He said Damon Lindelof has the hatch from Lost as a coffee table in his office and that's pretty bad ass. Robert said that Kirk has some outfits that Boris Karlof and Lon Chaney wore and things like that. He said that he had them in their workshop at the studio and he wonders how he has the passion to get that kind of stuff. He said that's the guy and this is his universe. Paul joked that he has the therapists sweaters from the Metallica movie in his office. They went to break after that.
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Jon said today Richard Christy revealed his dental plan and what went on with that. Gary said there is no other way to describe all of that other than saying it's fucked up. He said that Richard was going to high school without brushing his teeth. He said that either no one cared or everyone wasn't brushing their teeth. Paul said he can't imagine what it must be like not brushing his teeth for 4 years. He said he goes one day and it's rough.
The guys talked about JD and how annoyed he got that Gary was asking his son about how often he washes his sheets. Gary said he gave JD some Boll and Branch sent over and JD got annoyed when he brought them over to him since he had a camera on him.
Gary said that the other thing that was bothering him today was Sal saying that he jerks off onto those towels at the hotel. Gary said he's getting into Howie Mandel territory at hotels. He said he used to think the things Howie does at the hotel were crazy but not so much anymore.
Jon said he thinks when you go into a hotel that you can't think twice about what's going on in the room. Paul said you'll end up like Howard Hughes if you start thinking about it. Gary said that someone said that what you should do is bring a plastic bag to put your remote control in. He said if he starts doing that then he's not going to want to touch anything.
Jon said Richard talked about living in a storage unit in Florida. Gary said that is just not normal. He said Benjy used to rent office space and slept under a desk. He said Richard was hosing himself off in the storage unit. They spent a little more time talking about that and then wrapped up the show. They were done around Noon.
Howard started the show talking about some exciting show news. Howard said on HowardStern.com you can see the new music video from Robin Quivers. Howard said it's Robin singing Adele. Howard said you'll love it. Howard said it's fan-fucking-tastic. Howard said he gave it 10 stars out of 5. Howard said it's a little gift from the Howard Stern Show to you. He played some of Robin singing Adele's ''Hello'' song.
Howard said it looks like Adele lost a lot of weight. He said she's really pretty. He said he wants her to lose 20 more just to see what she looks like. He said he loves the show The Biggest Loser and he loved to see the women lose weight to see how hot they were. Howard said then they got some women on there who didn't look good after they lost weight. Howard said Benjy was better looking fat. He said he was hot.
Howard said his wife is coming in tomorrow and he told her to check Benjy out. He said his beard is dyed every Sunday night so it looks so dark. He said there's no color like that on this planet. He said that he thinks about what color he'd paint that beard and there is no color like that. Benjy asked why he has to tell her to check it out. Benjy said he likes Howard's nose so it's like telling someone to check that out. Robin said maybe Beth wouldn't have noticed anything. Howard said he had to tell her about it.
Howard told Benjy to just let the beard go. Benjy said it looks better solid. Howard said it doesn't match. He said it can't possibly be. Howard asked Fred if he ever thinks about coloring his hair. Fred said he has and people tell him not to do it. Howard said with a man it's tricky. Howard said he is lucky and he has dark hair. He said he has some grey in it but it's dark. He said the best he ever saw was Steven Tyler. He said he has highlights. He said it's feminine but it works. Howard said he'd call him and ask who does his hair. He said Steven would tell him to fuck off but he'd call.
Howard said he went to get his hair colored back in the 80s. He put blue highlights in. He said he was in a women's beauty salon and he had tinfoil in his hair. He said it was so bad. Howard said they were giving him a conditioning treatment once and he went with Colleen who did his hair on the movie. He said that they did a deep conditioning. He said Renee Zellwegger sat next to him in the place. He said she was really hot back then. Howard said he wanted to look handsome next to her but he had tin foil in his hair. He said she was so sweet and gracious and he was so ugly. Howard said he was trying to act like it's a normal thing.
Howard said he saw that Miley Cyrus was dancing with Bill Murray for some special they're doing for Netflix. Howard said that Miley has a weird talking voice. Robin said she does sound like she's 100 years old. Howard asked Fred if he would bang her if he was younger. Fred said he would. Howard asked Benjy and Benjy started to say ''I have a girlfriend'' and Howard cut him right off. Howard said he knows that he has a girlfriend. Howard said he has a wife too and it's just guy talk. Howard said Fred is no prize to talk to but Benjy is bad.
Howard said his wife is doing a book signing tonight. He said she's singing at Book Ends in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Howard gave her a plug for that.
Howard said that Michael Caine thing is so great. He said they liked it so much they're going to do a Two-For-Tuesday. Howard said after all of that the guy still thanked Michael Caine for calling in. Howard said then they took Michael and called Live with Cathy. Howard said this woman got completely offended. Howard said this one is great too. Howard played that clip where they called this Live with Cathy and had Michael saying the same things to her that he said to that other radio show. Cathy ends up getting offended by what he was saying and hung up on him. She said that his mother would probably strangle him if she heard this. She took more calls and they kept calling back with the Michael Caine clips.
Howard said that's great. Howard said she should have known it was a phony phone call when he said he loves her show. Howard said the woman put on an accent when she heard his accent. Howard said he thinks that she was falling for him. Robin said that was really good. Howard said it was interesting that the woman never heard of HPV. Howard said this is how they're spreading the word about it.
Howard said Adam Driver is coming in today. He said he's looking forward to seeing this guy. Howard said he was in the military and he got into acting. Howard said he was in the Marines and did the intensive Marine training. Robin asked if he was a Green Beret. Howard said he doesn't think so but he said he was one in Vietnam. Howard said he thinks he was anyway. He said he forgets what he was.
Howard said he's a big fan of Adam's from ''Girls.'' He said he's in Star Wars now. Howard said that he read a really interesting story about Adam in a magazine. Howard said Robin will get off on that.
Howard said he wrote to J.J. about his appearance yesterday. He said that he was willing to set up a screening for the movie so they might be doing that. Howard said no Benjy there with that beard. He said if he shaves he can go. Robin said she's sure he doesn't care about it. Howard said that's because he has a girlfriend. Howard said Benjy isn't interested in that.
Howard said now Tan Mom is calling Memet and asking him out to make Sal jealous. Howard said Memet sits in the office with Sal and Richard now. He said he sits in between Sal and Richard so they call him the Man in the Middle. Howard said this is Tan Mom calling yesterday and talking about the man in the middle. Howard played the clip and Tan Mom left a message for Memet and asked them to call her back. She wished Sal and his wife a good Thanksgiving. Howard said in this one Tan Mom calls and she leaves a love message but then she almost gets into a fight in her car. She yelled at someone to get out of her way. Then she wished them a good Thanksgiving. Then she says she has to get out of her car to kill someone.
Howard said after all of that Tan Mom calls and they put her on the phone with Scott the Engineer. Howard said she doesn't like the person at first but then she comes around. Howard played that clip and Scott gets on the phone and has to tell Tan Mom who he is. Scott tells her he finds her attractive and Tan Mom agrees that she is. Howard said he likes how Scott describes himself as the tall guy with a beard. Howard said he left out that he's bald and 100 years old.
Howard played more of the clip of Scott and Tan Mom talking. Tan Mom said she doesn't like guys with beards. She said they're disgusting. Scott said just wait until she feels it between her legs. Tan Mom didn't like that at first. Tan Mom told him to shave that off. She said she's nice and clean too. Scott said he likes that she's like a baby down there. Scott tells her that he knows what kind of music will get her aroused. He said he's a professional bowler too. Tan Mom said she doesn't associate with people who bowl. Tan Mom and Scott keep going and Scott tells her he'd work his way down to her breasts and she seemed to come around. Scott asked if her husband would get upset if he took her out. Tan Mom said that he's just there so it doesn't matter.
Howard said nothing sounds great about a night out with Scott. Howard said if a guy was talking to Robin like that she'd just hang up. Robin agreed. Howard said that he told her he'd treat her like a bowling ball and she said no thank you.
Howard said Tan Mom calls there a lot and Sal won't get on the phone with her. Howard said she gets passed around from staff member to staff member. Howard played a song parody about Tan Mom to the tune of ''Jack and Diane.'' Howard said that song is a big saga.
Howard said Michael Caine is against eating pussy. Howard kept trying to hang up but they kept having Michael saying good bye and ''Tally ho!'' Howard eventually hung up on him.
Howard asked if anyone is watching ''Into the Badlands.'' Howard said he loves it. Robin said she hasn't seen it. Howard said Jon Hein is very critical of it. Fred said he's liking it. Howard said Jon Hein is way more critical of TV shows than he is. Howard said Jon walked in and said that The Walking Dead was terrible this week. Howard said he thought it was great. He said there was killing and zombies and all of that. Howard said he doesn't understand what Jon is talking about. Howard said he's not sure why he's so critical. Howard said that Jon was talking about how there was too much composition in the first episode of Into the Badlands.
Jon Hein came in and said that nothing happened in the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead. Howard said it was still good though. Howard said the show seems to be over in 10 minutes. Jon said he's jealous of Howard for being able to do that. Howard said he loves Gotham. Jon said he isn't watching Gotham. He said it's not bad but he's got other things on his list. Robin asked what's on that list. Howard said it's not exercise for sure.
Howard said The Walking Dead is the best show on TV. Howard said Into the Badlands might be up there. He said Gotham is number 2. Howard said Homeland is good. Jon agreed. Howard said Ray Donovan is good but it's not on right now. Howard said he doesn't like Talking Dead. Jon said he thinks that Fargo is the best show on TV right now. Robin said it is pretty good. She said it might not be the best. Jon said Howard would like it.
Howard said he's trying to get a screening for Star Wars. JD came in and asked if they have seen The Knick. Howard said he hasn't. Jon said that show is good. He said it's turn of the century stuff. Howard said he doesn't like that.
Jon asked if he likes The Leftovers. Howard said his wife is into it. Jon said the second season is really good. Howard said that's Justin Theroux's show. The guys talked about how everyone is depressed in that show. Howard said he is too.
Howard asked if anyone is watching Better Call Saul. Howard said he's not. Jon said it was good. JD said he likes The Walking Dead but it's just killing zombies all the time. Howard said it's a survival show. Jon said the cast is spread so thin though. He said you don't give a shit about anyone on the show.
Howard said that he is trying to get the screening for Star Wars. Howard said J.J. said he'd do it. He said he emailed him and told him he wants to see it. Howard said everyone but Benjy will go.
Howard said that he heard JD refuses to stream shows. JD said there are more shows on his DVR and he can't get to watch streaming stuff. Howard asked why he can't do both. JD said it's tough. JD was trying to explain but he was struggling to get it out. Jon said JD hasn't seen many of the shows on Netflix and other streaming services. Howard said they have a new show called ''Jessica Jones'' and it's good. He said Ralph told him it's great.
Gary said JD watched all 5 seasons of The Wire at double speed. JD said he used his Playstation 3 to do that. He said it was at a faster speed. He said he wanted to get through it quickly. Jon said you can't watch it at 1.5 speed. JD said it wasn't that bad. Howard said he loves how animated JD gets when he's excited.
Howard said he has a bunch of new JD stuff. He played a new song parody from Daniel Mendelson where he did a duet with a woman. The woman was singing about JD cleaning his fucking sheets. Howard said that was Daniel with some chick. Howard said yesterday in the poll JD did better than Richard.
JD said he has a lot of shows he wants to watch on Netflix. He said he wants to watch a lot but he has so many other things to watch. He said he hasn't watched Fargo or Homeland. Howard asked what he's busy with. JD said on the weekends he has his girlfriend. He said she doesn't watch any of those shows. He said they have other shows they watch. Howard asked what they watch. JD said that they watch Nathan for You. Howard said everything revolves around shows. JD said she gets him out of the house too. He said they didn't go out this weekend. He said she was there for just one day. Howard asked what shows they watched. JD said they watched Bar Rescue and Nathan For You. Jon said they are the biggest Bar Rescue fans ever. JD said they do like it. Howard asked what that show is. JD said this guy goes to bars and fixes them up and yells at people.
JD said they also watch Drunk History and Billy on the Street. Howard said they have a full list. Howard said JD probably watches 100 hours of TV a week. JD said he does watch a lot. Howard said he will eat and fuck his girlfriend occasionally. Howard said he watches cam girls too. JD wasn't talking about that. Howard said he heard he's still watching them.
Howard said he heard JD beat Michael Rapaport this week in fantasy football. JD said he did. Jon said he's in danger of not making it to the playoffs this year. Howard said Rapaport is really into this fantasy football stuff. He said that he's said it is his whole life. Howard said he told Jason that. Howard said he asked Jason if he ever feels that way and Jason was like ''Uh, no.''
Howard said Gary said that Michael Rapaport showed up at his house for a party and he fell asleep in a chair there. Gary said he was only operating at 80 percent so he was tolerable. Gary said he doesn't have to invite anyone over but all he does is complain about the food. Gary said he spent a lot of money and he complains. Howard said Rapaport leaves messages for JD. Howard played a clip of Rapaport complaining about Gary's party on his own podcast.
Gary said that Michael brought a really nice gift for Mary so he thinks he can bust his balls more now. Howard played more audio of Rapaport complaining about JD about threatening to quit the league.
Gary said the league is very stressful for some people. He said that Steve Brandano quit 2 years ago. JD said they have punishments that are ridiculous. He said that finishing last should be enough. He said he can't enjoy watching some games because some of the people have his team members on their fantasy football team.
Howard played more of Rapaport's rants and Gary said he might not make it into the playoffs. He said that would crush him. Howard played a clip from the Wrap Up Show where Gary was talking to Rapaport about his party and how he fell asleep there.
Howard asked Yucko if he's making any money. Yucko said he is. He said they're doing pilots and stuff. Howard asked if he has his own place. Yucko said he does and he's doing okay. Howard said he heard he was living in a trailer park. Yucko said not yet. Howard asked if he has ever had to blow anyone for money. Yucko laughed and said he hasn't. Howard asked if he's doing okay. Yucko said he is. He said they cheer him up so much.
Howard said Yucko is a good man. He said he'll be back on his feet soon. Howard said he's working on a cartoon as they speak. Howard asked if he wanted to announce anything. Yucko said he doesn't. He said he won't spoil Jessica Jones for him. He said he'll let him watch it. Howard said John Wayne Gacy was more happening than Yucko. Yucko said he had more kids buried in his basement than Jon Hein.
Howard asked Yucko if he wants him to send him money. Yucko said he's not Wendy. Howard said she called the other day and left a message. He said it's weird. Howard said that she was talking to Jon Leiberman in this clip. Howard played it and Wendy was talking about eating food out of a dumpster. Wendy said she ate some burritos and they were still nice and warm. Howard told Yucko that's the way to go. Yucko said he's not there yet.
Howard said Wendy was also talking about running out of diapers. Jon Leiberman asked what she does. Wendy said she uses her mom's pads. She said that she mostly uses diapers. Wendy said she doesn't want to have to keep changing. Howard said that she's smart enough to shit in a bowl. Yucko said she is capable. Howard said she's like a kid who wants to keep playing. Howard wondered if she shits and eats Taco Bell at the same time. Howard said he really has to go. Howard said he has to talk to Adam Driver. Howard let Yucko go and went to break.
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Howard came back and said that Adam Driver is in the new Star Wars and he believes he plays the head villain. Howard said he watches him all the time on ''Girls.'' Howard said it's weird to see someone you watch on TV all the time in person. Adam said he feels the same. Howard said he feels like he's that odd guy on Girls.
Howard asked if he's excited about the Star Wars thing. Adam said he is. He said it's very overwhelming. Howard asked if he's really the lead guy. Adam said he is. Howard asked if he had to audition. Adam said he just had to meet with J.J. Howard said he's heard about that kind of thing. He said they discuss things and talk about the part. Adam said J.J. didn't tell him anything about the part but he thinks he just wanted to take a look at him. Howard asked if it's weird to do something like that and go out to breakfast. Adam said they just had a meeting in J.J.'s office. He said he got the news about 6 months after that. He said he wanted to think about the part before agreeing to do it. He said he was still working on ''Girls'' too.
Howard said Adam almost didn't take the role on Girls because he didn't like TV. Adam said he thought TV was bad. He said that Lena was the one who sealed the deal for him. He said the writing was really good.
Howard asked if he had someone smack him around a bit about taking that part. Adam said that it was because of his agent that he took the part. He said she's there with him today.
Howard said he read an article about him working with Daniel Day Lewis. He asked if he was difficult to work with. Adam said not at all. He said he was very generous and open as an actor. Howard said he read that he was Lincoln in character the whole time when he as doing Lincoln. Adam said that's what he heard too but he did talk to him as a regular guy too. Howard asked if he has to call him Abe on the set of Lincoln. Adam said he didn't say anything. Howard asked if he's in character the whole time on the set of Girls. Adam said sometimes it's helpful but sometimes it's not. He said you might want to stay and live in it for a little while.
Howard asked if Adam thinks his whole life is about to change with this Star Wars thing. Howard said he's basically set for life even if he fucks up his career. Howard said he can go to conventions for the rest of his life. Howard said he can do what Shatner does. Howard asked Adam if there is an excitement about it. Adam said he saw the movie last week. Howard said he read that he would never watch himself again in anything after seeing Girls for the first time. Adam said he saw all of the mistakes in that so he didn't want to watch that. He said he can see how he could have made it perfect. Howard said that he gets that. He said there are always times when you think you could have done something better. Howard asked why he watched Star Wars if he vowed to never watch himself. Adam said they did so much work on it afterward that it seemed like he should try getting over it. He said that it's Star Wars too and he can't believe he was in it. Howard said it must be so complicated that you can't envision it.
Howard asked who else saw the movie. Adam said it was him, Carrie Fisher and Daisy Ridley and some guy running the movie. Adam said that he isn't sure that not watching himself is the right way to do things. He said that he feels like he wants to have control. He said it might not be conducive to acting. He said he may not even know what he's talking about.
Howard said Adam must feel like he's on the verge of doing something huge. Howard asked if he has something lined up. Adam said he just did something with Jim Jarmusch that feels weird and good. Howard said it's good to do stuff like that and mix it up with a blockbuster.
Howard said Adam has been nominated for Emmy's 3 times. Adam said he hasn't won yet. He said that he lost to Tony Hale who is on Veep. Howard said he doesn't watch that show. Howard said he doesn't like comedies like that. Howard said he has tried to watch that show and it's no Girls. Howard asked if he was disappointed that he lost. Adam said just to be there is very nice. He said it's very stressful though. He said that you do think about what you're going to say if you win. Howard said that he just think about thanking Lena Dunham and his parents and people like that.
Howard said Adam is going to be in Star Wars but he hasn't made the big money yet. Howard said his HBO deal must not have been that big. Howard said Star Wars is an ensemble movie so they have you by the balls there. Howard asked if it's weird to be that famous and not have the big dough. Adam said it's funny Howard thinks that way. Howard asked if he has a nice house and all of that. Adam said that the value of worth for actors is weird. He said he feels good about where he's at. Robin asked if he was locked in for all 3 of the Star Wars movies. Howard said of course he was. Adam said he really doesn't know. Howard said of course he's locked in. He said he knows J.J. and he'll get him out of it.
Howard asked Adam where he grew up. Adam said it was in Indiana. Howard said he must have thought that he would go to Juliard and become an actor. Adam said he auditioned and it was not good so he was rejected. Howard said that must put him off to acting. Howard said his mom and step-dad told him to go out and get a job after high school. Adam said they wanted him to pay rent there once he turned 18. He said that he liked his step dad. He said things were all good. He said at the time it was like ''What the fuck?'' but now he looks back at it and it was fine. Howard asked what he did for a job. Adam said he sold vacuums. He said he made zero doing that. Robin asked if he was knocking on doors. Adam said he was. Howard said he had to pay $200 a month for a room in the house. Adam said he did. He said he had his own room and a key to the room.
Howard asked if he was knocking on doors. Adam said he was and he didn't have the balls to do that at first. He said he was calling people at his parent's church first. Howard said that sales jobs are tough. He said that he has respect for people who sell ads at radio stations. Howard said it's actually a good acting gig.
Howard said that Adam also did telemarketing. Adam said this was all around the same time. Howard asked if he was dating at the time. Adam said he was. He said he had some serious relationships. He said they were close to getting married.
Howard said after all of that his step-dad told him to join the Marines. Adam said they got a flyer in the mail or something and it looked like something he could do. He said it's a steady income. Howard asked Adam about having a fight club like the movie Fight Club and how he and his friends would beat each other up. Adam said that was embarrassing. He said in Indiana it's not the cultural hub of the world. Howard said Adam seems like the kind of guy who would beat the shit out of someone out of nowhere.
Howard said 9/11 happens and Adam joins the Marines to kick some ass over there. Howard said that he admires him as a man. He said that's not fucking around. Adam said they take that very seriously. Howard asked if he was scared shitless. Adam said he was. He said the training was 3 months long and then there's 2 months of infantry training too. Howard said he was digging it then. Adam said he was. Howard said he was full on military. Adam said he was and he loved being in the military.
Howard asked if he was trained in hand to hand combat. Adam said he was. He said they call it MCMAP. He said they have an instructor who trains you in all of that. Howard asked if you work out with weights too. Adam said not really. He said they do a lot of drill. Howard asked if he was in great shape. Adam said he was. Howard said you can't sit out anything either. Adam said you can't half ass it. He said that you have to fight the other people in your platoon. He said that you do all kinds of nerve deadening and stuff like that.
Howard asked if he learned a lot of chants. Adam said they do. Howard said that sounds awesome. He said he wishes he had the balls he has. Adam said he doesn't know about that. He said he joined for those reasons but it's the people that make you want to do it.
Howard asked what's tougher. Warfare or acting. Adam said he never got the chance to go over there and fight. He said he was trained as a mortar man. Howard said he went mountain biking and broke his sternum so he wasn't able to go over to Afghanistan. Adam said he still looks back on that and wishes he could have gone. He said that most of his guys survived and came back. He said they did lose someone but not in combat. He said he passed on but not from warfare. He said it was an accidental medication dose.
Howard asked if his buddies tell him he's a pussy for acting. Adam said they do. He said he loved being in the Marines but it's tough. Howard asked if he thinks if he hadn't broken his sternum that he wouldn't have ended up acting. Adam said he does think about that.
Howard said that Adam got into Juliard after that service. Adam said he went to his buddy's funeral and he had to explain all of that to them. Howard asked Adam if his friends killed anyone over there. Adam said he didn't ask about that. He said he gives people space and if they want to open up then they open up.
Howard asked how quickly he got on Girls after Juliard. Adam said he got out of Juliard in 2009 and he thinks they started Girls in 2010. Howard asked why Lena is stopping girls. Adam said he's not sure but he'd do it as long as she wants to keep it going. This is their last season though.
Howard asked Adam about the nudity on Girls and if there was any penetration on the show. Adam said there wasn't. Howard said Lena told him that she found a prop condom stuck to her ass. He asked why he was wearing a condom. Adam said he couldn't remember.
Howard asked Adam when he got married. Adam said it was 2 years ago. He said he met his wife before he was famous. Howard asked if he has any women coming on to him. Adam said if they are he's not aware of it. Howard told him to get into therapy now before anything happens. He said it's going to be tough to stay married. Howard said that Allison Williams is hot. He said she got her ass eaten in that show. Adam said he didn't see that scene. He said that he doesn't watch the show. Howard said there's no ass eating in Star Wars. Adam said it's actually full of that.
Howard asked if Adam works out when he has a nude scene in Girls. Adam said he works out regularly. He said that he has a gym in his building.
Howard asked Adam if someone can learn acting or is it a talent. Adam said you can learn technique. Howard said the new Star Wars is coming out this month. Robin asked if he's nervous. Adam said he is. He said he doesn't want to be bad in a franchise like that. Howard asked if he's nervous about his own thing. Adam said he's never done anything that huge before. He said that they would yell cut and 100 people would come out to fix a leaf. He said on Girls they ask him to bring his own t-shirts. Howard said that he was talking to J.J. about the budget for Star Wars and the budget is like $400 million. He said that's crazy. Howard said that he heard stories about how they weren't able to bring the script home. Adam said he was able to do that but he had to lock the script in a bag. Howard said that people are douches for leaking things. Adam said there have been things that have been leaked and it's kind of crushing.
Howard asked what he's doing when the movie comes out. Adam said he's going up state with the family. Howard said he should wait until he's 40 to have kids. Adam said he's 32 now. Howard said he should wait. Howard asked if his wife is an actor too. Adam said she is. Howard asked if he has OCD or anything. Adam said he doesn't.
Howard asked if he worked with Liam Neeson. Adam said they were in the same movie but at different times. Howard said he's a good actor and he has it going on. Howard said Beth told him he saw him at the party they were at the other night. Adam said that he heard Howard was there but they were on opposite ends. He didn't want to bother Howard. Howard said he would have been disappointed if he had come over.
Howard asked if Adam is going to read reviews or anything. Adam said he will try not to. He said they have a place upstate so they'll just stay there and avoid knowing anything about the movie. Howard said that he has to get the fuck out of town and not be bothered. Adam said that it's all of the traveling around that's tough. Howard said if he were him he'd go to a theater and watch. Adam said that's very scary. Howard said he had a movie and he went out and watched audiences react to it. Adam said he wishes he could do that. He said he will go to the premiere but that's it. He said it won't be a real audience.
Howard asked who he bonded with on the set. Adam said he was very nervous the entire time so he didn't bond so much. He said he enjoyed working with everyone. Howard said he sounds a little bit like a recluse. Adam said he might be a little bit. Howard asked if he will stay in touch with the cast of Girls. Adam said he will. Howard said Adam is going to be the only person in the country not seeing Star Wars the Force Awakens that weekend. Howard gave him some plugs and said the movie opens on December 18th.
Robin asked if Adam has had any interaction with the hard core fans. Adam said he was at Comic-Con. He said that was his first experience with them. Adam said that everyone had to take a light saber and he wanted nothing to do with one. He said they're the nicest mob though. Howard asked if they ask him trivia questions about Star Wars. Adam said he hasn't gotten there yet.
Howard asked if he has to study up on his character history. Adam said not really. Howard said Harrison Ford almost died making the movie. Adam said he did. Robin said he almost died in a helicopter crash too.
Howard said it was great meeting Adam. He said he can't wait to see the movies. Howard asked if he's an action figure. Adam said he is and that is surreal. He said they take your image with a 3D camera and put you in different poses. Howard asked if he as one. Adam said he does and he still has it in the wrapper. Howard said he'll be in the basement of every geek in America. He said no girls will have it though. Howard gave Adam some more plugs and wrapped up with him. They went to break after that.
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Howard said he hears that Sal is tired of her calling there. Sal asked her to please stop calling him 15-20 times a day. Sal said she calls at least 10 times. Tan Mom said she doesn't call that much. Sal said he was scared to leave the building the other day when she called from downstairs. Tan Mom said she's not calling him that much. Sal said of course she did. He said she calls 10 times a day. He said she has to stop calling.
Tan Mom said that some guy wants his permission to go out with him. Sal said that he is just asking her to lay off. Tan Mom said they're just friends. Sal said he's not sure what her definition of ''friend'' is. He said she's downstairs in the lobby asking to take Memet out. He said she can call Memet and not him. Howard said she's trying to make him jealous. Sal said that's right. Tan Mom said that's just not true. She said Memet asked her out. Howard said everyone wants Memet. Howard said Captain Janks wants to blow Memet even though Memet is straight.
Tan Mom said Sal was a great friend. She said they had a lot of fun together. She said they're just friends though. She said everyone is blowing it out of proportion. Sal said a good friend doesn't call 10 times a day. Tan Mom said she's not calling 10 times a day.
Howard played one of Tan Mom's messages where she told Sal she really needs it and she really likes Sal. She was talking about grabbing a cup of coffee and going out to have a great day. Tan Mom said that's what they do in the studio when they play stupid games. Sal said that was her calling from her phone.
Tan Mom started yelling about Sal not liking his wife and saying that he's the one who wants to fuck her. Howard said this is a nightmare. He said they sound like they're in love. Howard said this is their first fight. Sal said he doesn't even get any pussy and he's in this dilemma. Howard said she was willing to blow him. Sal said he knows. Tan Mom said he's just a friend. She said that's it. Howard asked how many times a day she's calling. Tan Mom said it's maybe 3 times every once in a while. Sal said her math sucks.
Howard said that Tan Mom is going to do another boxing match against a dude who used to be a cop. Tan Mom said she works out every day now. Sal laughed and asked what her workout is. Tan Mom said she's running an hour a day and doing weight lifting. She said that she's going to have a trainer to teach her how to box.
Howard said he has audio of this Kayla person, who used to be a man, talking about what she used to do before she got into this. She talked about being a woman since 2006. Shuli was doing an interview with Kayla and asking how the transition works. Kayla said that she's still in therapy over it.
Howard said that this person is going to kick Tan Mom's ass. Tan Mom said she's not afraid of anyone. Tan Mom said that she's not afraid of this he-she at all. Howard said these fights must be scripted. Howard asked if they are. Tan Mom said she's not scared. Sal told her to get the tanning cream out of her ears. He said that wasn't the question.
Howard asked Tan Mom to forget Sal. Sal said he's no good for her. Howard said she can do better than Sal. Tan Mom said she doesn't want Sal. She said they were just good friends. She said she's not calling him 10 times a day. Robin asked if she's going out with Memet. Tan Mom said ''Who?''
Howard took a call from Fake Tan Mom (Shuli) who said she's the real Tan Mom. Fake Tan Mom said that she's driving with Memet right now. She was arguing with people on the street in her car. Howard said he can't tell which one is the real one. Tan Mom told Howard to put Sal back on the phone. She said Sal is married and she doesn't want him. She said she doesn't want that confusion. Howard asked if Tan Mom would send her panties to Sal if he wanted them. Tan Mom said no.
Fake Tan Mom said that she'll send her panties but they have a shit streak in them. Howard said there are two Tan Moms and he can't tell them apart. Fake Tan Mom said she'll rub tanning cream on that cock of his.
Howard asked Sal if he had sex over the Thanksgiving break. Sal said he thinks so. Howard said he told everyone he didn't. Sal said the week before he did. Tan Mom asked why everyone is so crazy about her and Sal. She said he's her friend. Fake Tan Mom said she wants to eat Sal's smegma cheese off a cracker. Howard said he really has to go. Fake Tan Mom said she just wants to watch Sal blow Richard. Real Tan Mom said that he's a faggot. She told him to get off the phone. She said Sal is just her friend, that's it. Robin asked how she can even call him a friend. Tan Mom said that they laugh together.
Sal asked Tan Mom not to call him off the air anymore. Tan Mom said she can't believe he's being mean to her. Sal said he's not being mean. He said he thinks she's a wonderful person but he can't talk to her. Howard said he's so bored with this. Howard asked Tan Mom to leave Sal alone. Tan Mom said without a doubt. She said they were just friends. Howard said he has to go. Tan Mom said she didn't call him 10 times. Howard said he could listen all day to that.
Howard took a call from Wolfie who said he covered Tan Mom's last fight and he thinks she's going to get murdered. Howard said she's fighting a dude. Wolfie said she was drunk the entire fight last time. He said this is a bad idea. Howard thanked him for the call.
Tan Mom was still on and claiming she didn't call Sal 10 times. She said she calls once in a while. Howard asked her to leave him alone. Tan Mom said she wasn't bothering him. She said he's with a wife he doesn't even love. Howard let her go and went to break after that.
Howard asked Robin where she was last night. Robin said she had some things to do last night. Howard said she used to put coffee in her ass but now she drinks it. Robin said she never added cream when she did that. Howard said that means she loves the taste.
Howard said that the song parody ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' has a country version out now. Howard played that for Robin. Robin said you can't make a bad version of that song. Howard said even Gary the Conqueror's version is good. Howard played one where they had a Gary impersonator singing the song.
Howard said they got some special announcements read on some radio show. Howard played a clip of a woman reading some tributes for some people who were made up by the guys there. She read some things about some rusty trombone stuff that was going on.
Howard said that he has another one. In that clip the guy read about a Baba Booey plug that the guys got in on that show. They also got in a Robin Quivers Fur Burgers plug.
Howard said that must be the stupid show. Howard said they read anything in front of them. Howard said there's a lot of weird radio stuff going on. Howard said Geraldo Rivera is in the news. Howard said he never really listens to this stuff but Geraldo had a gig on WABC. Howard said he is gearing up for some big lawsuit. Howard said he hopes he has this right. Howard said Geraldo had a show and it wasn't doing great but not doing horribly. Howard said the guys at WABC had a handshake deal with him to do the show for a year. Then new guys came in and said they didn't want to do that deal. Howard said Geraldo is saying he had a deal and the station is saying there is no contract. Howard said he thinks Geraldo wants to sue them. Robin said he doesn't have a leg to stand on based on what she has seen on Judge Judy.
Howard said Geraldo is on The Five on FOX News sometimes. Howard said that he should be on all the time. Howard said the women are good to look at on the show. He said that Kimberly Guilfoyle is hot. He said so is Dana Perino. Howard said Greg Gutfeld and those guys are good too. Howard said he watches that show every day and they're like his friends.
Robin said whenever she sees Geraldo she thinks about the fight he did on their show. Howard said he loves that guy. He said he has balls. He said he got his ass beat but Frank Stallone was a boxer and bigger than Geraldo.
Howard said he wishes Geraldo luck with this case. He said in radio they get rid of people all the time. Howard said go somewhere they want him. Howard said the article is complicated but he thinks he boiled it down pretty well.
Howard said that Blake Shelton is with Gwen Stefani. He said he finds it hard to believe that he wants to be in a family that has 3 kids. Robin said that she read that Miranda Lambert didn't want to have kids and that might be why he left. Howard said Miranda is looking good when she's thin and she's thin right now. Robin said Blake left her when she got thin. Howard said that's weird.
Howard said Bill Walton was over in China covering a basketball game. Howard said this guy is weird. He said China is a shithole from what he's heard from people who have lived there. Howard said it's the worst place to be a worker. Howard said you get shit on over there. Howard said Bill Walton was over there covering this game and he was being shown the best parts of the country. Howard said he's carrying on about how great the country is. Howard said they're not showing him the sweat shops. Howard played the audio of Walton talking about the phenomenal things going on there. He said they don't do a good job explaining how great it is over there when they're in the United States. Howard said the guy is on a mad tear. In the clip Walton is just going on and on about China while another guy is calling the game.
Howard asked if Bill Walton has an Asian wife. Howard said he should stay there if it's so great. Howard said he should blow his nose. He said the other guy can't even call the game while he's going on and on about China. Robin said we get it, there are a lot of people there. Then Walton talks more about how many people live there.
Howard wondered who General Tso is. He wondered if they have that chicken over in China. Benjy looked up General Tso and told Howard he was a general in the 1800s and they think it was named after him.
Howard said they really got Bill Walton indoctrinated. He said they're not showing him the awful working conditions over there.
Mariann said Howard had 18 fosters at one time. Mariann said Howard is very passionate about them. Howard said he is. Mariann said tonight Beth is doing her book signing at Book Ends in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Mariann said she's going to get a bunch to give out as gifts. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard said Beth will be in tomorrow to talk about the book. He said it's a good way to donate to charity.
Howard said he has a game where you guess if the person coughing is Jeff the Drunk or a terminally ill patient. Howard said it's called The Jeff Cough Game. Howard played a clip of someone coughing and Robin guessed it was a terminal patient. Howard said that's right. Howard played another one and it was obviously Jeff. Howard said Robin got that one right too. Howard played another clip and Robin guessed it was a terminal patient. Howard said she got 3 right. Howard played another and Robin knew it was Jeff again. She got all four right. Howard said she's almost at a perfect score. Howard played another one and Robin guessed it was a terminal patient. She was right again. The last one was tougher than the rest. Robin guessed it was Jeff. Howard said she has done the impossible and got all of them correct. Howard said it turns out there are no winners in this game.
Howard asked what Robin's favorite Gary moment is. Robin said her's is the discovery of The Tape. Howard said he liked when he fell asleep. He had a song parody to play about that moment on the show.
Howard said that David Letterman was at Ball State donating a bunch of stuff to the college. Howard said he still has the beard. Howard said he has a lot of stuff to throw out too so maybe he should do stuff like that. Howard said Dave is giving memorabilia from his TV show to the college.
Gary told Howard about the song parody he wanted to play. Howard said he had so many and a lot of them were just minutia. Howard said that he has one called ''Black Boobs.'' He played that which was to the tune of Black Bird. Howard said he has another one called ''Robin Loves Sucking My Cock'' from Hollywood Jay. Robin said that's really bad but it's so bad it's funny. Howard said someone sent in a song about JD making a web cam girl making out with a picture of a girl. Howard said it takes too much explanation for the song though. He said it's a long way to go back.
Howard said stick to Robin songs. He said you can't go wrong with that. Howard said that or JD sheet songs. JD said Robin songs are fine. Gary said JD thinks it's going to end when the 8 shows are done.
Howard played another song about Robin. Howard said he has about 100 there. He played another one to the tune of the Itchy and Scratchy Show theme. Gary said there are even more that Howard isn't seeing. Howard played another one.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Cheap Trick will appear on his final show because they've never been on. Howard said he's had them on twice. Robin said they should do a final show if they're done. Howard said it's still unclear what he's going to be doing so he can't do a final show.
Howard said in honor of the Cheap Trick mention he has a song parody to the tune of one of their songs. He played that one about Robin.
Howard said that he and Gary were talking about something an hour ago off the air. Gary said it was an article about a college in Wisconsin where they took a vote on having a moment of silence for 9/11 but the students thought that it would be offensive to Muslims. Howard asked how that's offensive to Muslims. Howard said everything is so fucked up. The caller said this is what 20 years of giving out participation trophies to kids has done. Gary said his kids got all of that but they're normal. Howard said he heard that college students don't clap now. They snap like Beatniks. Gary said he was at a college doing something and they all started snapping. He said he asked if that was a thing and they didn't answer him. Howard asked what's wrong with clapping hands. Robin said they just have to be different. Howard said clapping isn't that loud. He said snapping hurts. Robin said a lot of comedians won't go to colleges now because of this. She said everyone is offended by everything.
Howard said the snapping thing started with the Addams Family. The caller said don't forget that guy Bobby Badfingers. Howard said Robin has a Bobby Badfingers bobble head. He said he can give that to the caller if he plays a game. Howard said he's going to play a Wendy rhyme game. Howard said Bobby Badfingers built a career on snapping.
Howard played a clip where Sal asks Wendy what word rhymes with another word. He asked her ''Fool'' and Wendy said ''Tool.'' Howard said she rhymed. Howard said that's the right answer. Howard said the Bobby Badfingers bobble head was given to her in 2006. The caller asked if she would sign it for him. Robin said she can do that.
Howard said now the caller has to get 3 out of 5. Howard played the next one which was ''pop.'' Wendy had to rhyme with that. The caller said she can do it. Wendy said ''Bunny.''
Howard played the next word for Wendy which was ''Pain.'' Howard asked if she can rhyme that one. The caller said he doesn't know about that. The caller said yes. Wendy said ''Rain'' and got one.
Howard played the next one which was ''grace.'' The caller said no way. Wendy said ''Gravy.'' Howard said he just saw that the Bobby Badfingers bobble had is $20 on his web site.
Howard played the next word for Wendy which was ''Grass'' and the caller said she will get that one. Wendy's answer was ''Rat.'' Howard said she got that one wrong.
Howard said the caller is down to the last one. He said he has to get this one right. Howard played the last one which was ''ball.'' The caller said Wendy will get that one. Wendy's answer was ''Umbrella.'' The caller didn't win the bobble head. Howard said he gets a thank you for playing though. Howard thanked the caller, Bill, for playing. Bill asked if Gary is still clearing his throat every morning. Howard said he's doing better. Gary said it's the weather and warm water. Bill said he has to try a nose clearing thing that burns like a bitch. Howard thanked the guy and hung up on him.
Howard talked about Gary's throat clearing for a minute. He played a song parody with Gary's throat clearing stuff. Howard played another Wendy clip which was ''bone'' and she came up with ''phone.'' Howard played ''Chill'' and Wendy came up with ''Coca Cola.'' Howard played another Gary throat clearing song parody.
Howard said the guys tell him that Gary still clears his throat before their meeting in the morning. Howard said that has to be hard on them. Gary said he does it so Howard doesn't have to deal with it. Howard asked if it's annoying to them too.
Ronnie came in and said that he's there for that. He said it's so obvious that he does it before he gets to the door. Gary said he does that before he comes in. Howard said he'd like to know why he's so phlegmy. Howard said he gets it but not as much as Gary. Howard played another song parody about his phlegm and then went to break.
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Howard had the email from Captain Janks where he was asking of Memet will go out with him. Howard said he thinks the answer is no. Howard asked Memet if he's interested. Memet came in and said it's so creepy. He said it's flattering though. He said he's on his Facebook and Twitter talking about this stuff too. Memet said when it got really creepy Janks posted a picture of himself as a kid and said that he knew even then he was destined to be with Memet.
Howard asked Memet if Captain Janks said he'd give him $5,000 to blow a load on his chest, would he do it. Memet said for 5 grand he might as long as it doesn't get on his face. He said he would give it some consideration. Howard said that's kind of gay. Memet said it's 5 grand though. Howard said he heard Joey Boots is in love with Memet too. Howard asked if Memet would fuck Tan Mom. Memet said he doesn't want to come between Tan Mom and Sal. Howard told Memet to get back to work.
Howard said he just got a note saying that Memet is getting some hot chicks. Will Murray came in and told Howard that he can't get into a lot of detail but girls contact him through the show. He said they are 10s. Will said he wonders where they were when he was single. He said they're incredibly good looking. Sal came in and said that Memet friended him on Facebook and all of a sudden there are incredibly hot women popping up in the suggested friends. Sal said he gets texts from women who want him to fuck their ass and hurt them. Howard said that sounds like something a dude would send. Sal said he envies the guy. He said he's a cocksman.
Howard had Memet come back in. He said he's on a roll. Howard asked if he's fucking anyone. Memet said he is dating someone. Howard asked if she's a 10. Memet said she's cute. Howard said he heard that he's getting 10s. Memet said that Will is upset that he is getting the texts. He said he has gotten nude pictures from chicks. Memet said he has had girls do that before and it was the girl. Memet said it could be guys fucking with him. Will said he thinks a lot of them are real.
Howard asked if he sent a picture of his penis to some girl. Memet said he never did. Sal said if Memet shows a picture of a girl to him he'll start scrolling and Memet will grab the phone. Sal said that Memet won't even talk about it anymore. He said they'll all ask if he got laid over the weekend and he will just say no to shut them down.
Will said they signed Memet up for a threesome app. He said he has this really hot girl that he's going through the other women with and they're all 10s. Howard said they're back there getting him dates. He asked when that's getting on the air. Will said they're going to talk about it on the air. Howard asked who the girl is. Memet said he's dating someone and she's up for talking to people. Sal said he can't even get a hand shake from his wife.
Howard asked if they're going to hear about this threesome. Memet said if it happens they will. Howard asked what the delay is. Memet said the girl has to screen the people and they have to talk to them. Howard said he should just show up like Benjy.
Howard said he had two women trying to blow him once. He said it wasn't that great. He said it wasn't really a threesome either. He said he doesn't want to get into it.
Memet said he doesn't brag about this shit usually. He said that people are going to think he's a douche. Sal said he has a tattoo on his back. Memet said it says ''Gangster of Love'' but it was a joke. Sal said the translation is ''Douche.'' Howard asked how big it is. Howard had him show it to him. He turned around and showed it. Sal told him not to show it to the threesome or they'll run out of the room. Fred played the Game of Thrones ''Shame'' clip and the ''Douche'' clip at the same time.
Howard said they have a way to remove tattoos. Memet said it's very expensive though. Memet said that he tells people it was a joke and he does not think of himself as the gangster of love.
Howard had Memet's penis on the phone. It was the same voice as The Lump and Bobo's toupee. Memet's Penis said he'd be up for Captain Janks blowing him. He said that the pussy is getting boring anyway.
Howard let Memet's penis go and congratulated Memet on everything. Howard said he wishes that these apps were around when he was single. Howard said he would have been scared of it though. He said he's famous and he can't go on there.
Howard said he went out shopping once and a woman came up to him and gave him her number. He said that being famous is like having an app.
Memet said he was a loser before. He said the girls on Tinder don't know the show so they don't know where he works. He said Tinder makes it easy because you know the girl is into you before you even meet them.
Howard said Sal is in the booths and he isn't getting any of this. Sal said he won't catch anything at least. He said he tells Memet to bag that thing. Memet said he does. He said he gets blow jobs without one. He said there are some risks you have to take. Memet said that he is dating one girl right now. Howard asked if he will go down on girls. Memet said he will. Howard said imagine going down on a girl with a dental dam on and a condom. Howard did an impression of what that might sound like with the dental dam thing.
Robin asked how Memet met this girl. Memet said she hit him up on Facebook. Will said she's really successful too. Robin said she is not, she's with him. Memet said she's doing really well. He said she's probably making six figures. Howard asked if she's seen the apartment. Memet said she has. He said he moved and he's living with two gay guys now. Memet said he's still in Harlem but he's in a safer part of Harlem. Howard asked if the guy was pissed. Memet said he probably wasn't happy. He said he thinks the guy knew what the deal was. He said the guy lied to him about that apartment. He said he was told it was a quiet neighborhood.
Howard said Memet is a good man. He wondered if they're going to call him Gangster from now on. They used Steve Miller Band's ''Gangster of Love'' as his theme song. Howard told him not to tell women about the tattoo. He said if they see it then explain it to them.
Howard asked Will why he's leaving. Will said he has things he has to do. Howard said he has some Richard's dad stuff to play. Howard played a clip of Richard's dad talking about going down to the pond to feed his deer. Howard said he thought he killed them. Will said maybe he feeds them to fatten them up. Richard came in and said that he feeds these because he bought them a wildlife camera a few years ago and they get to look at pictures of deer. Howard said this is a guy who finds road kill and picks it up.
Richard said that his uncle shot his dad in the foot once when a squirrel was by his foot. Howard did his Richard's dad impression a little bit.
Howard asked Richard about all of the pussy Memet is getting. Richard said good for him. Richard said he went 10 years without getting laid when he was in Florida. Howard said he found someone to marry him after that.
Will said his wife was holding the phone when Memet sent him one of the pictures. He said she was kind of bummed about that. Howard asked to see the picture. Memet showed it to him. Howard said she's like a Carrie Underwood. Memet said after talking to her for a day she sends another one. It was fully naked and Howard said she's like the hottest chick on the planet. Memet told Howard to be careful with the swiping.
Howard asked when he got the pictures. Memet said that he isn't sure they're real. Richard said they could have her on the show. Howard said they can do that. Memet said they should get her in. Will said this was like a month ago and Memet hasn't followed up with her. He said she's up state so it's not that far away. Will said she was one of the girls saying the really hard core stuff. Memet said she was like spit in my face and things like that. Sal said ''God bless you...''
Howard asked Ronnie if he has seen that chick yet. Ronnie said they're not sure if she's real yet. Ronnie said he told Memet not to go up there because he could get killed. Ronnie said that it could be a guy.
Howard asked Gary what the schedule looks like next week. Gary said they're busy. He said Tan Mom and Kayla are coming in. Tuesday is Don Henley performing live. He's doing 3 songs that day. On Wednesday Ike Barinholtz is coming by. Howard said they have to get that chick in there next week. Gary said they'll work it out.
Howard asked if Memet sent a dick pic to that girl. Memet said accidentally maybe. Howard asked how you do that accidentally. Memet said that it happens. Richard asked if he was hard or soft. Howard said he had his love voice on when he asked that. Richard said he's never sent one so he doesn't know.
Howard had Memet's penis on the phone again. Penis said that he took that picture on purpose. Howard said that's hard core. Howard asked if he really did send it. Memet said he may have slipped on that. Memet said he did and he knows it was dumb. Howard said you should never do that. He said you have to use your head. Howard said they'll check her out on Monday. Howard said he really has to do news. He did a live commercial read first.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Memet can do a Google image search and it will find if there's one just like it online. Howard said they'll bring her in there instead and it'll take like 2 minutes. Howard said that girl is hot.
Howard and Robin spent a little time talking about Sinead O'Connor. Howard said he was into some of her music at one point. Howard did his impression of her monotone voice. Howard said she was always ranting about things. He had Fred play one of her songs.
Robin read a story about a woman who committed suicide because she was allergic to Wi-Fi electronic signals. Robin said it drove her to skip class and act out. Robin said she left a suicide note. Robin said that they're not sure if she was really hypersensitive to this stuff.
Howard read an email from someone who said they just lost their husband recently and the show is helping her through it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the interviews with J.J. and Adam Driver were great. He said he's looking forward to the new Star Wars. Howard said he is too. The caller asked if Howard had to swear to secrecy about anything about the movie. Howard said they don't know anything so they don't have to swear to anything. Howard let the guy go after that.
Howard said he got an email about Bubba the Love Sponge and how he may have gotten married again. Howard said another email says that Spice boy was the one who stole the Hulk Hogan sex tape from Bubba. Howard said he's not sure if that's true. One of the guys in the back said he heard it is true. Howard said he has a lot to catch up on. He did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how the next iPhone may not have an ear phone jack. Robin said it may plug in through the lightning port. Howard asked JD what he knows about this. JD said this is pissing him off. He said from what it sounds like you won't be able to use any headphones other than what Apple provides. Robin said you can use Bluetooth headphones. Howard said he's not going to use those.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks and said he's done with the Memet thing. Janks said he was working before. He said he'll call in tomorrow. Janks said that he should tell him to just let him blow him. Howard said he can't tell him to do that. He's not gay. Janks asked how he knows that. Howard asked Janks to tell him his fantasy about Memet. Janks said he can't do that on the air. He said he's a good looking dude. Janks said Memet can close his eyes and he'll take care of him. Howard asked if he would swallow his load. Janks said he doesn't know about that. He said that if he did it would be the first. Gary said he has told Janks that Memet isn't gay but Janks keeps pushing. Gary said he has told him he's straight. Howard said he has to get to news. He doesn't want to be there all day. Howard said he's getting angry now.
Robin read about how today is the day to donate to charities. Howard said don't be a cheap ass and give to charity. Howard said they're trying to get people who don't give anything to anyone to give. Robin said she has gone to some Broadway shows and they ask for money there. Howard said he's seen that. Howard said they annoy the shit out of people with that.
Robin read a story about a Minnesota couple who gave a $500,000 check in a Salvation Army kettle. Howard said you'd think they'd mail it. Robin said the couple wanted to remain anonymous. Robin said they want to help others because they had to rely on eating food out of a dumpster when they were younger.
Howard said that someone wrote in about Shuli's Tan Mom impression and said they never want him to do it again. Howard said he's not sure what that means. Fred said the guy may have been turned on by it.
Robin said today is World AIDS day. Robin explained what the day is and what you're supposed to do to remind people that the virus hasn't gone away. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about today being the anniversary of Rosa Parks refusing to move to the back of the bus.
Robin read a story about a Marine who has been found guilty of killing a transgender woman in the Philippines. Robin said that the man can appeal the verdict or serve 6 years in prison.
Robin read a story about an attack on a transgender woman who was almost stomped to death outside his building. Robin said that he remains in critical condition.
Robin read a story about an anti-aging drug that could let people live into their 120s. Howard said he wants to live that long because he doesn't believe there's anything after this. Robin said it's a diabetes drug that has extended the life of animals. Robin said they're going to have a clinical trial to see if it works in humans. Robin said it could make people in their 70s as biologically healthy as someone in their 50s. Howard said Ronnie is already 120 so he might live until he's 160.
Robin read about how V-Tech has been hacked and they have had their customers and children's information hacked. Robin said that it didn't include credit card numbers.
Howard read through some email and said that people are still talking about the ISIS Hotline. Howard said that people are still talking about that.
Robin read about the climate change conference going on in Paris. Robin said the pope is saying that the earth is getting close to suicide if we don't do something soon. Robin said he thinks it's humanity's last chance to avoid global disaster.
Robin read a story about the president trying to come up with something that could make a difference. Robin said he's trying not to come up with something called a Treaty because Congress would have to approve of it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what his thoughts on what Adele would think about Robin's version of her song. Howard said Adele won't care. He said that's a silly question.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump challenging CNN over the next presidential debate. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Trump said he won't do it unless they pay him $5 million that he'll give to Wounded Warriors. Howard said they should do that. Howard said they'd have to do it. Robin had some audio of a pastor who endorses Donald Trump. Robin had Howard play that.
Robin read a story about a doctor who says marijuana can cause allergic reactions to people who are around people using it. Robin had some audio for Howard to play where the guy explained his findings.
Robin read about the guy who is accused of doing the shootings at the planned parenthood center. Robin said he's being charged with first degree murder. Robin had some audio of the judge making the announcement.
Robin read about Ted Cruz saying that democrats and Hillary Clinton are leading the way in the war against women. Robin had some audio of him talking about how he's all for contraception. Robin had a couple of clips where he talked about that stuff.
Robin read about Dzhokhar Tsarnaev going back to court trying to get a new trial in a different venue. Robin read some details about that. Robin finished up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Jon asked Rahsaan about the end of the show today with Memet getting all of this attention about the girls odes he feel he misses out on it. Rahsaan said he's been with his girlfriend for 4 years now and he realized a long time ago you have to retire from the game when you find a good one. He said he has no regrets. Jon said he thinks Howard feels the same way. He said he has a good one too.
Jon said that Rahsaan is very happily engaged and he's all about his fiancee. Jon said with Will getting pictures sent to him and his wife is holding the phone that's not good. Jon said that he thinks there is a lot of jealousy there with Will and Memet. He said that was Will for a long time. Rahsaan said they get a lot of comments about how hot Memet is when they post pictures of him. He said he understands how there could be some jealousy there.
Jon said that they have seen a lot of people catfished there before. He said that someone who looks that good makes you wonder why a woman that hot is hitting on him. He said he wonders why she'd go that far. Gary said he can't answer that.
Gary said that they used to have a guy who worked at their radio station who would meet women at Penn station after they'd call in on the show. He said it's great if you don't have to put in any work. Gary said he's all about it. He said that he's 20-30 years too late for that stuff.
Gary said he's wondering if Memet is good looking or just better looking than the rest of the guys in the office. They spent a little time talking about that.
Jon asked Gary what he would do if he was in his position. Gary said he thinks he's in a good position. He said that there will always be another girl if he doesn't like one.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the Memet thing is what's going on in his life too. He said he was using Tinder to cheat on his girlfriend and his friends started getting jealous and a friend started doing it too. Jon asked if the girls all check out. The caller said that he has learned how to tell if a girl is hefty based on where they hold the camera. He said if the girl doesn't have a picture of her body she may be self conscious about her body. He said he'll go after a girl whose body he can't see because he thinks that she's easier to get than a slut who is flaunting it.
Gary said that there are girls out there who just want to have sex and he's not sure if they're quality girls. He was asking the caller but Jon had already hung up on him. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon said that Michael Rapaport just showed up. Michael said he woke up this morning with no agenda to come there. He said then he got phone calls, tweets and texts about how he was being abused. Gary said they were very fair. Michael said Gary called in the other day and he was stammering and sweating over the party. Michael said it hurt when he called him a bully. He said he does this with love. He said he tries to bring some action to this show. He said Gary is stabbing him in the back and wounding his name on the most listened to show in the world. Michael asked how he's the bully. Gary said it's very easy to defend yourself. He said you get up and listen with the rest of the people. Michael asked what the fuck he thinks he's doing around there. Gary said they don't know what he's doing now that Public Morals is over.
Jon said that some people think that Michael might be too obsessed with the fantasy football league. Gary said that he would say that throwing all of the goofiness out it's a dead heat between him and JD for who is into the league most. He said it will tear his heart out if he doesn't make it into the playoffs. Michael said he will make it and he will throw Gary off the Empire State Building. He said that he's going to beat Matt Berry too. He said they have a $5,000 bet on that.
Michael said he woke up hearing about how they were shitting on him this morning and it hurts him deeply. Jon asked how bad it hurts to lose to JD. Michael said it hurts but it can happen. Gary and Michael went back and forth for a few minutes.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what the responses have been with Rapaport being on so often now. He said that he feels like the shtick is wearing thin. He said he liked him when he first came on but now it's wearing thin. Michael said the response has been fantastic. He said that they don't need to keep talking about what they just heard on the show. The caller said the show is called The Howard Stern Wrap Up Show. That's what it's about.
Gary said the feedback about Michael is mixed. He said that's the sign of a great guest. He said he thinks more people love him than hate him. He said it's not overwhelming either way. Jon asked if there is such a thing as too much Michael Rapaport. Michael said he doesn't want to be associated with that Bobo kind of shit.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Rapaport has too much time on his hands to be in there. He said he should be out there acting. The caller told him to go on an audition or something. Jon ended up giving the caller a prize of a Ninja Coffee Bar and $500.
Michael said hold the fucking phones. He said this guy is getting one of these things but he's still walking out of there drinking water from the last guest. Gary said he was an unannounced guest so they don't have a gift bag for him. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked if Gary thinks she's trying to make Sal jealous. Gary said yes. He said Sal should know better. He said that it's at the point where he has to tell her to leave him alone.
Jon asked what he thought about that Scott Salem phone call to her. Gary said there were a lot of creepy things in that call. Jon said Sal doesn't want anything to do with her so how does he get trough to her. Michael said that he has to get a restraining order. He said you throw that at her a couple of times and she'll go away. Gary asked if that was an eye opener for him. Michael said it was. He said that the whole thing is a wake up call. Michael said that his father asked him what the fuck he was doing when it was in the news.
Michael asked if Tan Mom is actually a Wack Packer. He said she is wacky but he feels like Howard didn't discover her. Gary said that is a big discussion they have. He said that they didn't discover her but she wouldn't still be Tan Mom now if it wasn't for them. He said they've kept her going. Gary said he loves that they've developed her into a character on the show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it would be so great if Captain Janks was the one cat fishing Memet with the chick pictures. Gary said that he does have the patience to do that. Michael said he just met Memet in the hall and he seems like a good guy and he's not sure why he can't get any ass. Gary said he is doing that. He said he's picking up women online and he gets irritated if they want to talk. Michael said kids are savages these days. He said Brandano is banging 2 or 3 broads a night. He said the kids are animals.
Jon said back in Michael's day it wasn't like that. Michael said that his day wasn't that long ago. He said that it can be very messy now and there's going to be a detachment and he's not sure if it's a good thing.
Gary said he's not that good looking. He said if you go to a bar and it's just about looks then he's not getting anything. He said if he can use his personality then he might be able to get something going. He said now it seems like it's all about looks. Michael said he doesn't think Gary is that bad looking.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Michael should be more grateful to them there because no one would even know he exists if it wasn't for them. Michael went off on the guy after finding out that he is a fire alarm inspector. Michael told him to hang up on that animal.
Jon moved on and took another call from a guy who said Michael might be the funniest guy in the world. He said he is like Howard Stern. He said that's what Howard used to do by riling people up. He said he thinks he's hilarious. The caller asked why they don't put more money in their fantasy football league. Gary said some of them can't afford to put a lot of money into it.
Jon asked Michael about sleeping at Gary's party. Michael said that Gary's kids and their friends all took food before the rest of them could eat. They discussed the party and fantasy football for a few more minutes and then wrapped up the show. They were done around 12:15pm.
Howard started the show playing a Mick the Nerd clip telling them who is on the show today. Mick announced that they have Beth Stern and Nick Cannon coming in today. Howard said that was a nice job from Mick. Howard said he was watching supergirl last night and he saw Calista Flockhart calls herself Quean of All Media in the show. Howard said it must be a nod to their show. Gary said the show runner there is a big fan of the show so it must be a nod to Howard.
Howard said he watched that show and Gotham. He said his wife was at a book signing last night. He said she signed books for a couple of hours there. He said she's there this morning to promote her book. Howard said she's very excited about it.
Howard said Nick Cannon will be there too. He said he's in the new Spike Lee movie ''Chi-Raq''. Howard spent a minute talking about how Nick wanted to get him together with Spike but he told Nick that Spike hates him.
Howard had Beth come in to talk about some things. Howard said that they had a disaster this morning. They have an entertainment system that's been fucking up lately. He said he turned it on and scared the shit out of the kittens in the apartment.
Beth said Howard looks cute today. Howard said he feels like he's looking old. Beth said he looks good. Howard asked if she's attracted to him. Beth said of course she is. She said she likes the way he sits like he owns the place. Howard said he's really just adjusting his balls.
Howard said that they go to Knick games and sometimes Spike Lee is there. Howard said his worst fear is that he's going to be demoted to the second row there. Howard said if he had to sit there he wouldn't go. Howard said you're judged by where you sit there. Howard said he has to sit in the front row. Beth said that they have to plan their exit when they go too.
Howard said he gets blamed for making Beth leave every event early. Robin said he claims that she really wants to go. Howard said they went to a birthday party for a friend and left after 20 minutes. Beth said she wanted to stay at that one. She said she had to run after him. Howard said she's lying. Howard said Beth is as bad as him when he wants to get out of a place. Beth said she'd rather be home with the kittens sometimes. Howard said she's worse than he is. Howard said she falls asleep after 5 minutes at movies. Howard said she was sleeping during Mission Impossible. Howard said she sleeps right through it. Beth said she can sleep through anything.
Gary came in and said that they're both blaming each other for wanting to leave early. Gary said he saw it at his house when Howard wanted to leave. Howard said that time he did want to leave. He said he can't stay connected to parties and things. Howard said he gets tired but then he goes home and he's wide awake.
Howard said there's a lot of talking going on at these parties. He said he went to a party and spent a lot of time talking to Ed Norton. Howard said his wife was there too. He said he had a great conversation with the guy but it was a lot of work. Howard said he didn't want to be boring. Howard said it's too much pressure. Howard said he's too self aware. Gary said if it wasn't going well he would have walked away. Howard said that would be rude. He said it's a lot of pressure on him.
Robin asked why he perceives it as hard. Howard said it's conversation and you have to talk loud. He said it's just too much. Howard said after he talks to someone he can't remember what he said. Gary said he just said he had a good experience. Beth said they're coming to the house this weekend. She said he invited them to the house. Howard said the guy is a nice guy. Robin said they had Giada at their house once and Howard didn't remember who she was. Beth said they were up until 1 in the morning with her. She said he remembered nothing.
Howard said Beth tells him people's names before they go out. He said she prepares him for going out. Howard asked how beautiful she looks this morning. Gary said she looks awesome.
Beth said she reminds Howard about it all. She said that he listens and brings it all up. Howard said Beth will give him tips and he'll forget things that Robin has told him. He said Beth briefs him.
Howard got back to the Knick game thing. Howard said that he goes to the games and he'd be so embarrassed if he was moved to the second row. Howard said they sit him next to Chris rock, Tracy Morgan and Taylor Swift. Howard said sometimes they stick him in the back with people like Michael Rapaport or J.B. Smoove. Howard said one time they went and he heard J.B. calling out his name. He said he was in like the third row. Howard said he doesn't get first row. Howard said he can't believe he has a show on the MSG network and he's in the third row. Howard said they sit about 5 seats from Spike Lee too.
Howard said that Beth has started her promotional tour for her book ''Yoda Gets A Buddy''. Howard said they're raising money for these animals who are in cages. They're looking to build a center where they can have cage free animals. Howard said they've had Rachel Ray and Billy Joel donate to the charity. He said the book is raising money for that. Howard said it's great that this thing is getting done. Howard said this is one thing that is helping. Howard said Beth wrote the first book about Yoda the cat. Howard said Robin named her cat Yoda. Howard asked Beth if she thought that was peculiar. Beth said they discussed it privately over email. She said it wasn't even a big deal. Howard said Robin did the audio book for the Yoda book.
Howard said he told Robin that their cat's name was Yoda and Robin said that their cat doesn't even look like Yoda. Robin said he caught her off guard. Beth said it's a great name. Robin said that some people still call him Yoda.
Howard said the book is great and you're making a donation when you buy it. He said it makes a great gift. He said he thinks the art work is great in it and it's a nice book.
Howard said Beth went to a signing last night. Beth said so many children were there. She said it was fantastic. She said after she finished the last book she signed a couple hundred more for Book Ends in Ridgewood, New Jersey.
Howard said she saw her on the Today show. She did the Hoda and Kathie Lee show too. Howard said Kathie Lee is really nice to her. Beth said she loves her. She said she's doing Hoda's show on Monday there too. Howard said everyone would understand why Kathie Lee would be mean to Beth. Robin said that wouldn't happen.
Beth said Mariann showed up to the signing with a ton of presents for her. Howard said he hopes she threw them out. Beth said she brought them home. Howard took a call from Mariann and asked why she would do that to him. Mariann said Beth was treating everyone with love there. She said that everybody was so overwhelmed with her. Howard asked what junk she gave to Beth. Mariann said she gave her a pillow that says ''You Had Me at Meow.'' Beth said she's keeping it. Howard said he'll throw it out when he gets home. Mariann told Howard how she wrapped it up nice for him. Howard thanked her for that and hung up on her in the middle of a sentence.
Howard said Mariann can go on and on and there's no stopping her. Beth also mentioned that David Spade did the voice for Buddy in the new Yoda audio book. Beth said that Robin reading the first book was a big hit.
Howard said he has Robin singing Adele's song just for Beth. Howard played that for her. He asked how many cats they have n their house right now. Beth said she has a bunch of adult fosters. She said they have a total of 17 fosters and that's not including their 6 that they adopted. She said she has a bunch of kittens and adults. She said their house is big and she's very anal about cleaning litter boxes. Howard said she cleans every minute. Beth said she has a back ache from bending over.
Howard said he has some questions for Beth and one of them was what annoys her about him. She said that there are times when she's about to do something and Howard will start talking to her and she can't leave. She said she sometimes tip toes past his office so he doesn't hear her.
Howard said that he asks Beth how her day was and he knows that's the thing to do. He said that he sometimes doesn't listen but he does ask.
Howard said some people wonder if he's going to regret leaving America's Got Talent. Howard said he doesn't think so. Beth said he won't miss it. She said she's looking forward to having a summer with him. Howard said he is too.
Howard asked Beth what's more disgusting. A guy who doesn't change his sheets or a guy who didn't brush his teeth more than once during 4 years of high school. Beth said they're both disgusting but the teeth is worse. Beth said the sheets are disgusting. Howard said that was JD. Howard said there has to be fecal spray in there. Beth said shame on JD. She said that's disgusting.
Beth asked if his girlfriend was okay with it. JD said that she put an end to that. Howard said Beth gave JD a makeover. Beth said she has to talk to him. She said she loves JD though. Howard said he's a good kid but he's not much of a kid anymore. Beth said the sheet thing is so gross.
Howard said Richard is the one who didn't brush his teeth. Beth asked if it was a sad story like they didn't have toothbrushes. Howard said he's just a gross guy.
Howard said he and Beth talk about Benjy a lot. Howard said take a look at his beard. Beth said she likes it. Howard asked about the dye job. Beth said she likes it. She said she didn't study it but just looking at it it's fine. Howard said Beth thinks Benjy looks good. Howard said her real thoughts will come out at home. Beth said she's being honest about the beard. She said she likes the color and how thick it is. Howard asked if she had to kiss him it's too much beard, right? Beth said it's a good look for Benjy. Howard said he's dying it every Sunday night. He asked if it looks natural. Beth said she likes it.
Howard said maybe he's being too harsh on Benjy. He said he's not going to fuck with him anymore. Howard said he thought Beth was going to take off on him.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked Beth if she could change anything about Howard what would it be. Beth said that he thinks he's fat and she would change that. Howard said Beth thinks she's fat too. Beth said she is. Howard said he doesn't fit into his pants so he has to lose a few. King asked if there's any behavior she'd change. Beth said it's fine. Howard asked if he's a loner. Beth said he's not. Howard said they both check out at times. Howard said that was a fascinating thing. Beth said it was boring.
Howard said they have more staff questions. Howard asked if there's anything he's said that has pissed her off. Beth said she doesn't get reports about what he says. Howard said someone asked if he will ever retire. Beth said no. Howard asked whose life she saves between him and Yoda. Beth paused. She said of course it would be Howard. Howard said that was awful. Robin said he died in that silence. Howard said that fucks his head up a little. Howard said he's not that much fun.
Beth said Howard once said that he'd bring a date to her funeral. She said that she wondered why he would say that. Beth said Howard is 20 years older than her so he may not outlive her. Howard said he doesn't think Beth should ever date after he dies. Howard said he'd like it if she doesn't do that. Howard said he would like her to honor him that way. Howard said he might come back and haunt her.
Howard asked Beth what she'd like for him. Beth said she wants him to be happy. She said if she's gone then he should be happy. She said she thinks that he should only be with her though. Howard asked if she has any friends who she'd like to see him with. She said she doesn't really have any friends.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has been listening for about 3 years. He said he knows that there are a lot of one eye Illuminati symbols in Beth's pictures. He said he asked her about that and she blocked him. Beth said he must have said something rude. Howard said the caller is crazy thinking there is a lot of Illuminati stuff. Beth said she takes pictures of the kittens and she might get one eye in there and that's where that comes from. Beth said she throws people off of her Instagram if they say anything negative. She said she took a picture of herself outside of Howard and someone thought that was in their living room. She said she blocked that person.
Howard gave Beth another plug for her book and asked what's coming up next. She said she's doing Extra. She said she loves that he makes time for her on the show. Howard said she's his wife so of course. Beth said he could say no. She said Howard is the best and he's the best husband ever. Robin said she has only had one. Howard said he is a good husband. Beth said she's so lucky. She said the way he supports what she does is great. She said it makes her emotional that he's there and pays for everything. Howard said he loves Beth and he loves what she's doing. Howard said he loves going downstairs and hanging out with the kittens. He said it relaxes him. Beth said that he's making her cry. She thanked him for that. She said she has to go. Howard said he likes the crying part. Howard said thank god she's not fostering Elephants.
Howard said Beth is really doing this thing. He said she's up at 4 in the morning working with the kittens. Howard said some are abused and tortured and Beth is saving them. He said they make people happy. Howard said that he loves what they're doing. He said that he feels like the house is empty right now. Howard said he really loves what they're doing. He said he loves Beth and wished her luck with the book promotion.
Beth said that she and Robin are going to see a play together next week. Howard said he didn't know that. Robin asked when they're going to see George Takei's show. Howard said they will go. He said maybe it'll close before they get the chance. Robin said that Howard went in one door and out the other the night of the premiere. Howard said they will go. Howard wrapped up with Beth and went to break.
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After the break Howard came right back and said there is so much going on. He said it was nice that his wife cried because she loves him. Robin said she's trying to be reverential about it. Howard said she has to be jealous of that kind of love. Robin asked why. She said she thinks it's great. She said that she's happy for him. Howard said he's crazy about his wife. He said they've been together for 16 years. He said that shit can wear off.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard Beth saying she signed copies of her book last night. He said he wants to get a copy for his daughter. He said he thinks it would be a great gift. He asked how to get a signed copy. Robin said the Book Ends people have signed copies. Howard said he just whipped out the military card so he's going to get him a copy. Howard said he'll put him on hold and set him up. The caller said he is willing to pay for it. He said he didn't call in to get a free copy. Howard said he knows. Howard asked Gary to get the guy a copy. Gary said he's on it.
Howard took a call from a guy named Hunter who used to call in often. Howard said the guy was kind of a Playboy kind of guy. Howard said this dude was such a player. He said he was fucking hot chicks and he was always at the Playboy mansion. Howard said he got tons of pussy. Howard asked how many playmates he fucked. Hunter said he doesn't even know. He said he doesn't even think about it now. Hunter told Howard they're getting rid of nudity in their magazine. Howard said he knows. He said he was thinking about that. He said he wanted to check out the chicks in the magazine when it came this month. Howard said they still have them in there but when they do get rid of the nudity he's not going to read it anymore. Howard said he thought that he was going to be able to just read the articles. Howard said that won't happen.
Hunter said that Hefner's daughter wanted to turn it into an Esquire like magazines. Howard said it's like Starbucks not selling coffee anymore.
Hunter said that he hasn't called in because the military told him not to. He said that he can call in now. Howard told him to hold on. He had to explain who he was. Howard said Hunter was fucking all of these Playmates and introducing people to them. Howard said then 9/11 happens and he joined the military. Howard said he was old. Hunter said he was 36 when he joined. Howard said he thought he was full of shit but he joined and became a top A-1 killer. Howard said he took special training. Howard said he took out a bunch of assholes in Afghanistan and put his name on a missile. Hunter said he didn't do that. Howard said he can brag about it now. Hunter said he will never talk about that. He said it's probably one. Howard said don't fucking say that. Hunter laughed.
Howard asked if he got medals. Hunter said he did. Howard told him to tell him about it. Hunter said it was like cat and mouse. Howard asked if he loved killing those fuckers. Hunter said he loved being over there. He said he just heard they're sending special forces over to Iraq to kill or capture the leaders of ISIS and he's feeling left out. Howard said they call them Daesh now. Hunter said he said it should be douche. Howard asked if they should go over there or let them do whatever they want. Hunter said we go over there and hit the reset button. He said turn that place into glass. Howard said that's what he says too. Hunter said they want to set up an Islamic state and there is no way that can happen.
Howard asked why he hasn't heard from him in a couple of years. Hunter said the military told him not to call. He said they pulled him into a room and yelled at him about the things he was saying. He said that he said some things about Playboy and they pulled him out. Howard asked if he was in the military the whole time. Hunter said he was just released by the V.A. last week. He said he was out of the military in May. He said he has a head injury and some other things. Howard asked if he still gets pussy with his injuries. Hunter said it's not an issue.
Hunter said the thing that pisses him off is that he was out last night and people said that Ralph was talking shit about him. Howard said he'll put a stop to that. He said he doesn't think that's the case but he'll find out. Howard said he thinks Ralph digs him. Howard said Hunter was good to Ralph. Howard said he'll figure it out.
Hunter said that they made him take off his Facebook and all of that. He said they're afraid that ISIS will find him. Hunter said that they have a hit list on their web site and the town he's in is on that list. Howard asked what position he was in. Hunter said he was between a corporal and a sergeant. Howard said that's cool. He said his life story would make a great movie. Howard said this was a regular guy and he was getting laid like crazy. Then he gets into the military.
Howard asked Hunter how many women he had at once. Hunter said he can't remember. Howard said he saw this guy in action and he knows. Hunter asked if he was talking about in one day. Hunter said he had 9 in one day once. Howard said that's what this guy was up to. Howard said he killed a ton of fuckers in Afghanistan. Hunter said he doesn't know about that. Howard said he knows.
Hunter said he didn't have fun when he got hurt. Howard asked how he got hurt. Hunter said it was RPGs, shrapnel and IEDs. He said he got a Purple Heart and he wasn't medevaced out of there for a year because they liked what he was doing so much.
Howard asked if he was able to get laid in Afghanistan. Hunter said fuck no. He said he would never. Hunter said they're all hideous over there. He said when he got back the nurses and some of the civilians were good to go when he got home. Howard asked if he got jerked off by the nurses. Hunter said he doesn't remember because he had the head injury.
Howard asked if he's still getting girls. Hunter said he has no problem with women. He said that people get upset when he's with 18 and 19 year olds. Howard said he'd give him a medal for all of the pussy he gets. Howard said he can fuck anyone he wants. He said he served his country. Hunter said they're all good with it. He said they don't get drunk or anything so they're all over it.
Howard asked if he had to take Salt Peter over there. Hunter said he'd wake up with a hard on. Howard asked if he had to rub it out. Hunter said he never did.
Howard said he has to get together with Hunter to find out what he was up to over there. He said he wants to know about the killing. Hunter said he wants to know about the Ralph thing. Howard said he'll take care of it if he is bad mouthing him. Hunter said he heard a little bit about the book thing that Beth is doing. He said that's pretty cool. Howard said Robin was a nurse in the military and she can give him permission to talk about it. Hunter said she doesn't have clearance for that anymore.
Hunter said that Gary and Artie were supposed to come to his base with the USO but it was too dangerous at the time. Howard asked what's more satisfying, women or killing people. Hunter said he doesn't remember doing that stuff but he thinks that would be pretty satisfying.
Howard thanked Hunter for calling in. Hunter said he's sorry he didn't call for a few years. Howard said it's fine. Howard said that he'll straighten Ralph out for him too. He let him go a short time later.
Howard said Hunter could have stayed home and fucked girls but he went into the military and got a Purple Heart. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about that and then went to break.
Howard said he was listening to music last night and someone sent him an article about cover versions of songs that are better than the originals. Howard said he was watching the songs on YouTube and when Rod Stewart was in The Faces he sings a version of ''Maybe I'm Amazed'' and it's really great. Howard said it's great because Ronnie Lane sings the opening verse. Howard said you're listening and you think it's a shitty version. Then Rod takes over and the whole thing comes to life. Howard said it shows you the power of a great front man. Fred found the song and played it for Howard. Howard said he loves this song. He asked Robin if she gets what he's saying. Robin said she does. Howard said you need a good front man and Rod was that guy. Howard said he loves this song and he'd never heard it before. Howard said that's such a great song that Paul McCartney wrote. Howard said he wrote it for Linda.
Howard said there was another song that he listens to all the time. Howard said ''Try a Little Tenderness'' was written by a bunch of guys but Otis Redding covered it. He said that was a great version. He said that is one of the best songs he's never heard. Howard had Fred play that too. Howard said that's singing. He said what Robin does is singing too. Fred almost played some of Robin singing but Howard told him to hold off on that for a minute. He told him to let the song play. Howard said if he could sing he'd sign like that.
Howard said Linda Ronstadt singing ''Tumbling Dice'' is another great cover. Howard said he knows she doesn't like him but that was a great song too. Howard had Fred look that one up too. Howard told him to let Otis Redding keep singing. Fred played Linda's song next. Howard said she really was great too.
Robin said she never particularly liked her covers. Howard said he did. He said that's why he's insulted that she didn't like him. Robin said she felt like she took a lot out of the songs she did. Howard said he's never heard that theory. He said she's saying that she was too good. Robin said it was too perfect. Robin said she liked her when she sang with Aaron Neville. Howard said Robin got into a fight with her on the Tonight Show and that was so great. Howard said he loves Robin.
Howard said they had a great cover of ''Go Your Own Way'' on Supergirl last night. Howard said he wants to find that song. Howard said that it was a cover and he'd like to find it. Gary said Jason might be able to find out in a few. Howard said Jason knows people who work on those shows.
Howard said he ordered a messenger bag. He said Beth is always ordering stuff and trying it on and sending it back. He said he decided to see what he could do. He said Beth is always on Net-a-Porter. He said he tried Mr-Porter and ordered a bag but it's backordered until February. Howard said it's a bunch of cunts over there. He said don't tease his ass. Howard said don't say you can get him something the next day and then say it's coming in February. Howard said this bag was a lot of money. Howard said he was like ''Fuck you.'' He said now he has to wait for it.
Robin said the ''Go Your Own Way'' was done by Lissie. Howard said that might be it. Howard had Fred play that. He said that might be it. Howard said she has a deep voice. Howard said Robin should try that. Fred played some clips of Robin singing along with that. Howard said this sounds like good painting music. Robin said she did this one in 2011. Howard said he didn't know Robin was in this song. Robin read about how she was voted number one solo artist in 2010.
Howard took a call from Beth who said she was listening and she actually intercepted that Mr. Porter thing to get it for him for Christmas. She said that she has the bag for him. She said she hates hearing him bad mouthing her favorite place to order from. Howard said he feels so bad. He said he just called Mr. Porter a cunt. Beth said Howard has to have everything right away. Howard said that's the point of the internet. Howard said he has to say something. He said Mr. Porter is not a cunt. Howard said he was just frustrated. He said Beth orders stuff all the time on there and gets it in like 10 minutes. Howard said he thought he was going to get the bag in 10 minutes. Beth said he did but it's in Laura's office. Beth said that she thought that this was going to be the best gift. Howard said he wants his bag. Beth said he's getting it. She said goodbye after that. Howard said he can't get anything done. He said he has to apologize for calling them cunts over there.
Howard said he thinks he's becoming a Psy fan. He said he has a new video out called ''Daddy'' and it's awesome. Fred played another Lissie song for Howard first. She covered ''Nothing Else Matters'' so Howard checked that out. Howard had Fred fast forward through the beginning of the song. Howard didn't like it. He said he likes her other song better. He said it's not bad but she's kind of a downer. He said he likes that sad quality. He said he likes depressed chicks.
Howard said yesterday he got a link to Psy's new video. He said he thought it was going to be another Gangnam Style. He said that the video is creepy good. He said he's not sure what it's about but he's singing about wanting his daddy. He said the video is pretty good. Robin said he has some famous people in the song with him. Howard said he might have another hit. Howard said the video is pretty good and cutting edge. Howard said he really sucks in two languages. Fred played some of the song and Howard said somehow his English has gotten worse. Howard said he can't even tell when he's singing Korean or English.
Howard said he has more clips too. He said that he has Eric talking about the mayor and how he doesn't like him or his wife. Shuli said that Eric is friends with cops and he hears things from them and then that forms his opinions. Howard played a clip of Eric talking about how the mayor despises him and he hates his wife because she went to a cop's funeral in jeans. Eric said he has tweeted the mayor and said that he wants to sit down and go over a few issues he has. He said that he has to support the police and they need a new mayor who understands and supports the cops.
Howard said Eric doesn't understand that this mayor actually does support what he does. Howard said that Eric is the 8 millionth most important person in the city.
Howard asked if Eric ate like a pig. Shuli said that he was acting like he was on a date. He said he didn't eat much and he didn't even go back for seconds. Shuli said that Eric was sitting in the back yard with a cigar and he was smoking it. He said that he has old cigars that he keeps in a box. He said he has like 30 of them.
Howard said he has another clip of Eric talking about why he doesn't like Ben Carson. In that one Eric was talking about Ben Carson talking about how he stabbed someone. Eric was also talking about the mayor's son and why he doesn't like him. He doesn't like him because he needs to get a hair cut. He said that's not a hair cut for school. He said it's not appropriate. Howard said this sounds like what a father would tell his son. Howard said Eric once came in there in jizz stained sweat pants and he's talking about what's appropriate. Howard said Shuli's head must have been exploding.
Shuli said that his cat walked under Eric at the house and Eric let out a yell. Howard had that clip too. Eric said that the cat rubbed his balls. Howard said that's some fucking Thanksgiving. Howard asked if his wife was fine with it. Shuli said she was until Joey shit in their bathroom.
Howard said he has another clip and Eric gets racist toward his therapist. Shuli said he was talking about therapy and the racist things he says to his therapist. In that clip Eric was talking about lighting up a cigar at the office and then he talks about the therapist and how he told him to go out and get some fried chicken and watermelon. Eric sad he loves his therapist though.
Howard had more audio of Eric talking about his therapist and some of the things he has told him about his anger. Eric claims that the therapist laughs when he tells him to get KFC and watermelon. Then he started coughing from the cigar.
Howard asked Shuli if he was the one who interviewed Wendy about eating out of the dumpster. Howard said he asked her why she sticks her hand in the dumpster if she can't see in there. Howard said she just reaches in and grabs something without looking. Howard said she told Shuli she dove in one time and she wasn't able to get out.
Howard played a clip of Wendy talking about sticking her arm in the dumpster. Wendy was talking about what's too gross to eat out of the dumpster. She said watermelon and cantaloupe are the grossest. Shuli said she later said that her favorite is watermelon. Howard said this is crazy. Shuli said that Wendy always says she's not good and she's looking for money. He said she was happy and giggling this day and she was out at a flea market hanging out with a guy selling t-shirts. He said the guy is taking care of her and he's a big fan of the show.
Howard took a call from a guy who corrected Howard on the pronunciation of Mr. Porter. Howard said that's very pretentious. Howard said that he was misled and didn't know that his wife took it and held it as a Christmas gift. Howard said he takes it all back.
The caller said that he has another cover song that Howard should check out. He said that Green Day covered a John Lennon song that he forgets. Shuli said it's ''Working Class Hero.''
Shuli told Howard that Jeff is supposed to be in L.A. doing his show today but his flight was canceled yesterday because of rain. Howard said he can't imagine how people are going to sit there with him for 3 hours. Shuli said he's going to cook and do other things that he does on Periscope.
Fred found the Green Day song that the caller was talking about. Howard said he loves the John Lennon version. He said he likes Green Day though. Howard let the song play and Fred played some clips of Robin singing along with it. Howard said we have to see what Robin sings next. It was just short clips of her singing ''Uh huh'' and things like that. Howard said that's enough of that. He said Robin was jamming away.
Howard asked if the guys have heard the clip of this obnoxious woman on Jeopardy. Howard said someone put a montage together. Howard played the clip and it was this woman saying the dollar amount in a really annoying way. Howard asked what accent that is. Robin said it's some kind of affect. She said that there must be some condition she has. JD said she seemed to speak regular through the rest of the show. Howard asked if JD has a condition. JD said not that he's aware of.
Howard said Yucko the Clown is on the phone again. Howard said that Shuli was in touch with him over vacation. Shuli said Yucko told him he bought an Xbox to use at his parent's house. Howard asked how old he is. Yucko said he just turned 43. Howard said he's only going to go downhill from here.
Yucko said he and Shuli used to do shows with Wendy and Gary and once Gary was in the shower and he heard yelling. He said he ran over there and he saw that Gary had turned his shower to all the way hot and he was scalding himself. He said he saw his cock and it's the biggest cock he's ever seen. Howard said that pisses him off so much. Howard said he never gets laid and he has a big cock. Howard said he gets laid all the time and he has a tiny cock. Howard asked how big it is. Yucko said it was at least 5 inches soft. Shuli said that he came back to the room like he just came back from war after that.
Howard said if he had 5 inches flaccid you'd see him naked in a lot of things. Howard said instead it was him with his pants on all the time. Yucko said there is no god. Howard asked if it would be wrong to ask for a picture of his cock. Shuli said he can get that for him. Howard said Yucko had 2 good calls. He thanked him for calling in. He said that Nick Cannon is there so he has to get to him. They went to break after that. They played a Beetlejuice bit, a cover of ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' and a clip of Tan Mom as they were going to break.
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Howard came back and said that Nick Cannon is a great and nice guy. He said he takes his work seriously though. Howard said he is fun but takes his work seriously. Howard took a look at Nick and asked if he's taking care of himself. Nick said of course he is. He said that Howard is the only person in the industry who cares about him. Howard said he had some big health scares. Howard said he had a radio show and a DJ thing going and he had some issues. Howard said this summer he had a relapse. Nick said he had a lupus flare up. Howard said he thought the guy was killing himself. Nick said that Howard took the time to talk to him seriously in person. He said everyone else talks behind his back.
Nick said he likes everyone there but it's different when you hang out with Howard. Howard said he likes Nick. Nick said he likes Howard too. Howard said that Nick was over doing things. Howard said the other thing that was hurting him was all of the pussy he was getting. Howard said it was like he got out of jail and he went nuts. Nick said there was some of that. He said Howard can understand that. He said Howard gave him some advice on that. Howard said he told him to pace himself. Nick said he took his advice and he's been celibate since then. Nick said that he swears that's true. Howard said he can't believe that.
Howard said he saw Nick at America's Got Talent this summer and he had women all over the place. Nick said he has a lot of special friends. Howard asked if he would date a really famous woman again. Nick said last time he was there he was talking about how he was a star fucker. That's when he was still married. Nick said he's trying to get to know someone and not do that again. He said he was fascinated with the A-list people. He said he's trying to change it up. Howard said he likes that Nick admitted he was a star fucker. Nick said he admires people and if they're into you then you go nuts. Howard said he relates to that. Howard said when he got single he was looking at famous women in his bed. Nick said he loves women. He said he loves the conversation and loves connecting emotionally. He said if a famous woman talks to him it's intriguing. Nick said that the fame put that extra thing on his ego.
Howard said he thinks it's great when someone else has something going and they're a power couple. Nick said it's like Beyonce and Jay Z. Howard said that's what it's like. He said Nick had that with Mariah. Nick said he did but he was on the lower end of the power scale. He said he was so egotistical that he thought it was cool they had that balance. He said he was able to chill and be supportive. He said he may have been threatened by it if it was another type of woman. He said he's still a fan of her's.
Howard said he wondered how you don't have sex with someone before getting married. Howard said it's really not a bad idea to be in a relationship before getting married. Nick said he has learned so many things. He said one of them is that it's not about the physicality of the whole thing.
Howard said that he must be jerking off even if he's celibate. Nick said he was told to chill out when he was in the hospital. He said he has Lupus and it attacks his kidneys. He said that he had kidney failure and he thought he was healthy. He said they got his kidneys back working again. He said that he could die from that. He said he gets blood clots and stuff so it's really serious stuff. He said it's brought on by stress and people don't know that. He said he needs a lot of rest. Howard said he should do Transcendental Meditation. Nick said he has ADD so he can't do that. He said he tries. Nick said he has tried to find chicks who meditate.
Howard said he saw him working so hard and here are a lot of hours involved in doing that show. Nick said there are. He said he's the first one there and the last one to leave.
Howard said Nick had 5 phones at one point. Nick said he has only 2 now. He said the other one is in the green room. Nick said that he wasn't using them to manage the women. Howard said that's what he thought he was doing. Howard said he asked Dorian and Case about the phones. He said those are Nick's friends. Nick said that he grew up with Case. He said he does stand up with Case. Howard said he pays him. Nick said he doesn't pay him to be his friend. Howard said Dorian is this big guy. He said he thought he was a body guard. Nick said he's his road manager. He said he has to be able to multi-task so he can knock someone out too.
Howard said he pulled those two into a room and asked them what was going on with the women. Nick said he was down to like 130 pounds at one point. He said that's when he was trying to get back. Howard said he thought he looked good. Nick thanked Howard for that. Howard said he was wondering why he was out until 4 in the morning when he had to work. Nick said Howard was one of the only people to have a real conversation with him about that stuff.
Howard asked Nick about Mariah bouncing back and finding a billionaire. Nick said that's great. He said as long as his kids are happy he's cool. He said they're still in the city so he gets to see them. He said they hang out all the time. Howard asked if he has a nanny to help. Nick said his mom is there to help. He said his daughter will want to sleep at her other house and they can drive her home. He said on Thanksgiving they all had it together. He said it was beautiful. Howard asked how he worked that out. Nick said that it worked. Howard asked if the billionaire was there. Nick said he wasn't there. He said that they had a big dinner and there were no bad words. He said his son said he wanted to go with him and his daughter wanted to stay there. He said it was a boy's night out. He said if you're mature about it divorce isn't so bad.
Howard asked when he's going to get back to the women. Nick said he's still going out on dates but he's not going nuts. Howard asked if he's exercising. Nick said he's doing that too. He said he's just not going crazy with that. He said he can't do the meditation thing. Howard told him to get a teacher and figure it out.
Howard asked Nick about doing the movie Chi-raq and if it's true he's nude in it. Nick said he is. Howard said that the movie is an interesting premise. Howard said it's about Chicago and how it's like Iraq so it's ''Chi-Raq.'' Howard said in the movie the women get together and decide to have a sex strike to calm people down with the guns and stuff. Nick said it could work for real. He said that the idea comes from a play that was written 2000 years ago where the women did this. Nick said that the movie opens this weekend.
Howard said Nick got the role but Kanye was supposed to be in that role. Nick said he was up for any role. He said Spike eventually picked him to be the lead. Howard said that he's doing tons of love scenes in it. Nick said there are a few. Howard asked if there is any penetration on set. Nick said you can't do that. Howard asked if he got aroused. Nick said it is real so of course. He said if you're not aroused and you're simulating sex then you might not be into it. He said he was into it. Howard said he likes that he's admitting that.
Howard asked if he had his penis touched at all. Nick said he doesn't remember. Howard said that's a yes. Howard asked if he found himself falling in love on the set. Nick said there is a level of respect you get and there are boundaries. He said you get to be around beautiful women and express love. Howard asked if he thanked Spike for doing that for him. Nick said that he did.
Howard said part of the movie is a sex battle and whoever cums first loses. Howard asked how that works. Nick said everyone is on strike and because he's the head gang chief he gets women who are still available. He said he doesn't have to abstain. Howard said this is some movie. Nick said they're trying to get him to call a truce so they have this sex match to bring an end to the battle. Howard said this is his kind of movie. Howard said if he was in a sex battle he'd lose. He said he'd be done in seconds.
Howard asked Nick about the first woman he had after Mariah and if he was done in seconds. Nick said that he wanted to hold it and he was trying to keep from finishing. He said he was cumming within. He said he can go pretty long. He said he can get to the point where the woman asks if this is ever going to happen. Howard said he does not know how he does that. Howard said he has an ego too but he can't go that long. Nick asked if Robin likes a guy who goes quick or keeps it going. Robin said sometimes it becomes a performance. Nick said there is a happy balance.
Howard said he can't imagine what it was like right after the divorce. Nick said he was trying to figure it all out. Howard said he saw girls coming in and out of his trailer all the time. Nick said this is not good for him. He said Howard is messing up his game. He said that he's not banging every chick out there. He said he's trying to be sincere. Howard said he had 5 phones going. He said Dorian and Case told him that they were pussy phones.
Howard said that he's going to miss working with Nick. Nick said he's going to miss Howard. Howard asked if he's working with Simon yet. Nick said not yet. Nick asked if he's cool with Simon. Howard said he thinks so. Howard said the Sony hacks revealed the emails that Simon sent about getting rid of him and taking the show back. Howard said that wasn't cool. Howard said he would never do that to someone. Howard said Simon wanted to talk to him personally but he told his agent to take care of it. Howard said he didn't want to deal with it. Nick said he thinks that they should have a conversation. Nick said that he should bring Simon in there next year. Howard said he should. Robin said Simon lied about not doing it. Howard said that's true.
Howard asked Nick who he has had beefs with. Nick said he had a beef with Eminem. Nick said he and Howard had a beef but they got over it. Howard said Spike hates him. Nick said Spike said they're cool. Howard said he loved Malcolm X but didn't like some of his other movies. Howard said he called Robin and told her to stick up for him. Robin said that he's telling the story wrong. Robin said she was promoting his movies before Howard even knew who he was. Robin said one time Howard saw a movie he didn't like. Robin said the moment Howard said he didn't like something she got the call from Spike. Gary came in to add something about Spike but Howard told him not to add to it.
Howard said that he can't believe that Nick and Mariah had Thanksgiving together. Nick said it was great. He said it makes for great stories too. Howard asked if it was hard to work out the money thing after that. Nick said it was never about money. He said they both want the best things for the kids and that's what it was all about. Howard said he's really mature. Nick said he's happy about the whole thing. He said they're on the same page about the kids so that's all good.
Howard asked Nick when he's banging the chicks because he can't do it with the kids there. Nick said they're not there all the time. Howard asked Nick where they shot Chi-Raq. Nick said they shot it in Chicago. He said he didn't do any other work out there. He said he was working on the film and that's it.
Howard said Nick has that film coming out this Friday. He said it's R-rated. Nick said it is. He said last night was the premiere. He said that he was sitting next to his mom at the premiere and he was naked so he was squinting.
Howard asked if he was single during the shoot. Nick said he was. Howard asked if his mom was fine with the nudity. Nick said he told her to close her eyes when he tapped her on the shoulder.
Howard asked nick what's going to happen with the judges. Howard said he thinks that he's going to get rid of all of them. Nick said he loves Heidi, Mel and Howie. Nick asked what would make Howard watch. Howard said hot chicks. Howard said Heidi and Mel B are hot. Howard said that he used to tell them to up the game. He said they should show some titty. Nick said they would. He said Howard would even acknowledge that on live TV. Nick said he hoped Howard would come back to the show but he'll work with whoever.
Howard said that Simon stole the wife of his friend. He said that he had a baby with that chick. Howard said nick would never do that. Nick said he would never do that because there is code. He said that if you can get his woman though then he never really had her.
Howard said that Caitlyn Jenner would be a great judge. Howard said that's who they should get. Nick said she's the hot get on every show. Howard said that would be good. Howard asked Nick if he has been asked about who to get. Nick said he hasn't. Nick said that the industry doesn't care about people. Howard said that Simon has to man up and tell the judges that they're not coming back because of him. Robin said based on what Simon did to the X-Factor he should let the other people pick the judges.
Nick said that if Howard had stayed then everything would have stayed the same. Howard said they would ask him about the judges. Howard said he doesn't want to be responsible for anyone being fired. Nick said that Howard kept all of them employed. Nick said he thinks they'll keep it the same. Howard said he doesn't. Nick said that this is all about Simon getting the attention and he thinks they'll keep the same judges. Howard said he thinks Simon will bring in new judges.
Howard went over some of the other things Nick is up to. He has a lot going on with different shows and his relationship with Nickelodeon. Nick said he has an announcement that he hasn't made anywhere else. Nick said the thing is about a business opportunity he has. He said he is now the Chief Creative Officer of Radio Shack. He said they went out of business and they're coming back. Howard asked if he uses Radio Shack. Nick said he does. He said that he makes headphones and stuff so he wanted to be in business with them before they went out of business. Nick said his grandfather was killed and he left him all of this stuff he got at Radio Shack. He said he had to go there to learn about how to use everything. Howard asked if they're going to sell the same shit or new shit. Nick said they're going to sell new shit. He said they'll have all of the adapters and all of that but they'll have new stuff. He said that they're coming up with all kinds of stuff. Howard asked what he's getting paid to do this. Nick said he brought Howard a bunch of Radio Shack stuff. He said he wants to Radio Shack the whole studio. Howard told him to do it.
Howard asked what he's getting paid to do it. Nick said that he doesn't talk about that stuff. He said he's doing alright though. Howard said he must have gotten paid well to do the movie. Nick said he doesn't do movies for the money.
Howard told Nick to open up a Blockbuster. Nick said he was just saying that shit. He said that it's all about ''Netflix and chill'' these days. He doesn't know what that means.
Howard said Radio Shack sucked because they made you fill out a whole form before you checked out. Nick said that's done. No more of that. Nick said that they're going to make it easy. Nick said that he's putting the radio back in Radio Shack.
Howard asked if he's still doing the DJ thing. Nick said he is. Howard said Nick invited him to go to one of those shows but they happen at like 2 in the morning. Howard said that's why Nick has Lupus. Howard said he knew he was in denial when he asked him what it does to him and Nick said ''nothing.'' He said he knew he was fucked. Nick said he acts like he can work through the pain. Nick said he tries to get 4-6 hours of sleep a night now. Nick said that he might pass out in the back of a car or something.
Howard asked if Nick drinks or smokes weed. Nick said he doesn't drink but he might blaze up once in a while. Howard said he heard the song he cut for Chi-Raq. Nick said that is getting some attention. Howard said Robin has to hear him on this. Howard said this is a different Nick than he knows. Howard said this is hard core and scary Nick. Howard played some of the song for Robin. Howard said he's using the N-word in the song. Howard asked if he uses that word. Nick said he does. Howard said he never called him ''my nigga.'' Howard said it would have been great if they had used it on America's Got Talent. Nick said he probably would have been fired for that. Nick said his son uses the word too.
Howard said they were shooting promos for America's Got Talent and he had classic rock playing. He said when Nick came in he had to have rap playing. Nick said he likes classic rock too. Howard said that Heidi would come in and pretend she knew all of those songs. Howard said Howie would come in and start going on and on about Kanye and he knows he was just trying to impress Nick.
Howard said Nick can't do that voice when he goes into Radio Shack. Nick said of course not. He put on his ''corporate Nick'' voice. Howard said that what they're hearing now is street Nick. Howard asked if he gets to shoot weapons in the movie. Nick said he did. He said they shot AK-47s and stuff. Nick said they took him to some neighborhoods in Chicago and he got to meet some gangsters who have been through it all there. Nick said that they get so much respect there. Robin said he must have been nervous. Nick said he wasn't.
Howard said he lived in the hood and they took his pants. He said in the 8th grade a guy from the 5 percenters took his pants. Nick said he's been jacked for his shoes. Howard said he remembers the guy who told him he wasn't going to live past his 16th birthday. He said that the guy fought him for his pants and he ended up keeping those pants.
Howard said he's going to miss him on America's Got Talent. Nick said he is going to miss him. Howard said he tried to hang out with him but he was like 2 hours late. Nick said that was Mariah's fault. Howard wondered who he's going to hook up with. Nick said maybe he and Robin. Robin said that's a power couple. Robin said that Nick didn't even talk to her at America's Got Talent the whole summer. Robin said he got all whatever when she was there. Nick said he got nervous.
Howard asked who's with him today. Nick said that Dorian is there. He said Case is back in California. Howard asked if Dorian is getting laid. They brought him in. Howard said this is Nick's guy. Nick said his nickname is Black Stallion. Howard asked if he got any spill over from Nick's pussy. Dorian wasn't saying. He said that Mariah loved him though. He said they had that New York connection.
Nick said that he and Mariah are good. He said that they didn't break up over cheating or anything so they're all good. Howard said he asked Dorian why he wasn't keeping Nick under control. Dorian said that actually helped. Howard said Dorian must have been exhausted from running around with him. Dorian said that neither of them drink so that helped. Howard asked if he's getting laid. Dorian said he is. He said that he is newly single too. Howard said that's smart. Dorian said he was engaged but never got married. Howard said Nick lasted 6 years with Mariah and that's 3 more than he thought it would last. Nick said it's tough when you're two big talents like that.
Howard told Nick he can't eat pussy if he has Lupus. Nick said he has an overactive immune system so he can get rid of all of that. Howard said that he learned that lots of guys are getting throat cancer from eating pussy and getting HPV. Nick asked if that's true. Nick said they need some mouthwash for that shit. Howard said they can sell it at Radio Shack. Nick said that he can tell if a woman is clean. He said you can look at their feet, hands and in their ears to see if they're clean. He said if there's shit in their ears then there's shit in their coochie. Howard said he ate a lot of pussy when he was single. He said it could hit him down the line. Howard said you can fuck all you want with a rubber. Howard said no oral sex at all. Nick said he's going to take his chances.
Howard asked if Nick wears a rubber when he gets a blow job. Nick said no. Howard said that's how you get herpes. Nick asked if you get that on your legs or on your penis. Howard said it's on your penis. Howard said a chick can pass that along if she has a cold sore. Nick said he would never get that from a chick with a cold sore. Howard said that you may not see it. Nick said he's glad he's celibate. He said Dorian is going to get herpes. Nick asked if Robin has it. Robin said no so Nick said they're all good then.
Howard asked Nick if he's ever tried anal. Nick said he's not into that. He said there is a perfectly good vagina right there so why go in the butt. Howard said he has done it and it feels like something is pushing back. Dorian said he has had doody come out. Howard wondered if Spike Lee eats pussy. Nick said it's in the movie. Nick said there is a lot of oral but no anal in the movie. Howard asked of Dorian is body guarding. Dorian said if he wants to call it that. He said he's never had to kick anyone's ass.
Howard asked if Dorian can kick Case's ass. Nick said that's a good question. Dorian said that he was a punk when he was a kid. He said he was like Howard. He was all skinny. Howard asked if he stands outside the door when the chicks are banging Nick. Dorian said he doesn't have to do that. Nick asked what they're talking about. Howard said that Dorian and Case would march the chicks to their seats at America's Got Talent. Howard said one chick was super hot and she must have gotten banged in the trailer. Dorian said that didn't happen. Nick said things were going so well until Dorian came in. Howard said Radio Shack just called and said the deal is off.
Nick was talking about how often he has to get his blood tested and Howard asked if Dorian was afraid he was going to die. Dorian said he wasn't worried. Nick said Dorian was the one who was the most positive about the whole thing.
Howard took a call from their Michael Caine impersonator who had some things to tell them about HPV. Caine said don't put your lips to the lips. He had some other quick advice before Howard hung up on him.
Howard gave Nick some plugs for ''Chi-Raq'' and some of the other things he's doing. Howard said he is in a legitimate film. Howard said that it's Nick naked with lots of hot chicks. Nick said there is a lot of nudity in Spike Lee joints. Howard said you can keep up with what Nick is up to on NickCannon.com.
Nick said the thing he loved about Howard was that he would do whatever he wanted to and he followed. He said Howard would leave right on time and he'd follow. Howard said that he told the producers he was leaving this park they were in one day and he said he was out at 8:15 exactly. Howard said they were still working at 8:14 and at 8:15 he left. Howard said they were still working. Howard said Ronnie pulled up at 8:15 and he left. Nick said he followed that car right out of there. Robin said she noticed that Howard wasn't in a bunch of things. Nick said that Howard said he wasn't doing that bullshit.
Howard said he might sign up for this Radio Shack thing. He said he has some things he'd like to promote. Howard said he likes the mouthwash idea. Howard wished Nick luck with all of this stuff. He said he can tell Spike he said hi. Nick said he's bringing Howard and Spike together and Howard and Simon together too. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said it's time for news but he took a call from Bobo first. Bobo said that he got sick and wasn't listening to the show. He said he went back to work and went through training and he got sick and called Mariann and told her he can't do it anymore so he quit. Howard said Bobo quit his job because he can't listen to the show. Bobo said he got really sick and he was really out of it. Howard said he really is a superfan. Howard said that's some update.
Howard said he thinks Jimmy Fallon is on the phone to say hello. Howard took the call and it was a Jimmy impersonator. Howard said he'll go with it. Howard said he's up against Stephen Colbert and Kimmel and he's in first place. Fake Jimmy was all up and happy. Howard asked if he should keep going with this. Robin said no. Howard said he's going to keep going with it. Howard asked Jimmy what happened with the late night wars. Fake Jimmy said it would be awesome if they were all tied. Howard said he thinks he's done with him now. Fake Jimmy thanked him for that. The guy kept going with the impression. Howard eventually hung up. He said he tried at least. Howard said that was not Jimmy Fallon. He asked the guy to never call in again. Howard said he's banned from the show. Howard said maybe he can call back as Gollum or Mutley the dog.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said Howard was the best thing about America's Got Talent. She said Nick was the second best thing. She said he was a great host of the show and he always treated her like... Howard hung up. He picked up on fake Jimmy again who was now Gollum. Howard played along with that for a minute. He asked Gollum what he thinks about Stephen Colbert but that wasn't working either so he hung up on fake Jimmy again.
Howard said he has some audio of some kids who were at the Justin Bieber appearance on the Today show and asked what they think about him. Howard played some clips of Shuli talking to some young girls about what he means to them and one girl said he's more important than John Lennon. Howard said he loves these girls who will be embarrassed in 15 years that they were fans. Howard said he was watching some award show and the only guy he didn't fast forward through was Justin Bieber. Howard said he has like 3 hit songs on the charts right now. Howard did a quick top 5 as long as he was talking about that. He played some ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' parodies and played the real top 5 songs. He had Mick the Nerd singing a Justin Bieber song. Justin had three songs in the top 5. Howard played those and said good for him.
Howard said Ronnie told Memet he was nuts thinking about taking a bus up state to meet some chick online. Howard said that Ronnie is the voice of reason all of a sudden. Howard said Captain Janks is trying to get Memet to blow him so who knows if he's sending fake pictures to him. Howard said Janks did that to Ronnie and scammed him. Howard said why not scam Memet.
Robin read a story about how they found the mayor of Juno, Alaska dead. Robin said that they say he was just elected in October and he had some appointments that he didn't show up for on Monday. Robin said his son found the body. They found some injuries on his body but they're not saying where they were.
Howard went through some email and said that Scott got some positive feedback about his seduction of Tan Mom. Howard read a few more emails about some of the things Tan Mom and Scott were talking about. They were getting feedback about the two in the pink, one in the stink line and about the lobster tail reference.
Howard said he was watching Supergirl last night and he got upset about her getting her ass kicked by a robot. Howard said that just can't happen. He said she's Supergirl. Howard said all she had to do was use heat vision to melt the robot. Howard said he's not sure what's going on over there. Robin said she likes Flash more than that show. Jason came in and said that Superman gets his ass kicked by Metallo all the time but he has Kryptonite. Howard said that this robot didn't though. Howard said that girl is so hot though. Howard said Channing Tatum's wife is on that show too. He said she's insanely hot. Jason said that's Jenna Dewan. Jason said that there are a lot of hot chicks on that show. He said the guys on the show are good looking too.
Howard said he was in a meeting yesterday and he had to move Jason out of the way because he's gotten so big. Howard said Gary has gained a few too. Howard said Sal said something really retarded in the meeting. He said he misused a word. He said that JD taped it. Gary said that he and Jon Hein looked at each other right away. Howard said he didn't say anything at the time. Gary said Sal used the word detrimental instead of instrumental. Sal said he just didn't use detrimental the right way. Howard said he liked what he said but he has to say it with some intelligence. Sal said he realized he did it. Gary said he did not. Sal said he had to speed it up and get it out. Gary said Sal didn't know he fucked up until this morning.
Howard played the clip and Sal was talking about how important Howard's feedback is. That led to Fred playing a bunch of things that Sal has said that were used in the wrong way. Howard goofed on Sal about that for a short time. Howard said he's glad that Sal spoke up.
Howard asked how he says ''prevalent'' and Sal said he thinks he has it now. Howard told him his pronunciation was perfect. Howard said Sal is in a meeting and this is his nightmare. Howard said someone speaks up and it's Sal. He said that he has to get out of there. He said he knows that he was behind that Jimmy Fallon bit. Sal said he hasn't. Howard said he had to be.
Howard kicked Sal out and asked Robin what else was in the news. Robin said the Toys for Tots donations have been declining over the past few years. Robin said that they're asking for people to donate this year. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about yesterday's World AIDS day and had some audio of Bono talking about the Red to fight AIDS campaign on Jimmy Kimmel's show. Howard asked if he was any fun on that show. Robin said he was the diplomat Bono. Howard said he can dig it. Howard said he just read that Jimmy Kimmel is number 2 in the ratings.
Robin read a story about Kobe Bryant announcing his retirement. Fred was playing audio of Beetlejuice laughing during that story. He had some audio of someone eles's laugh he was playing with that. He said it might be Mark the Bagger's girlfriend.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who said he'd be proud of he considered him his nigga. Howard said sure, why not. Tommy asked for Fred to play a prank call that Gary did with DL Hughley. Howard said they don't have time for that right now. Howard said he doesn't really use the N-word either. He said that was Nick's thing.
Robin read a story about Ben Carson experiencing a surge in the polls and people couldn't figure out why. Howard said it's because the evangelicals liked him. Howard said now they're going for Ted Cruz. Howard said that this evangelical vote is based on how much you love Jesus. Howard said he saw Carly Fiorina talking about how much he loves Jesus. Howard said Trump said he didn't want to do that and said whatever he feels about Jesus is private. Howard said he loves how Ben Carson stooped to their level and then they dumped him. Robin said that Ben Carson is in third place now. Robin said Marco Rubio is now in second place. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump feeling guilty for not serving in Vietnam. Robin said that's the tact he's taking. Robin said he is now saying he regrets it. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about that. Howard said he should do what he does and just lie about his military service. Howard said Trump should feel guilty. He said they could have used his help over there.
Robin said people are still wondering if there were ''thousands'' of people cheering after 9/11. Robin said that Mayor Giuliani is saying he does remember celebrations but maybe not ''thousands.'' Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Robin said that he's been told stories about the celebrations. Guiliani said he had someone call that day and tell him that a cab driver was celebrating.
Howard took another call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said Robin was very interested in Nick Cannon's frontal nudity. Howard said when they were off the air they were taking pictures and Nick was talking about fucking Robin. He said he did hear some of that. Robin said he just wanted a picture with her. Howard said no he wanted to go out with her. Howard let Mariann go after that.
Robin read about how Tiger Woods' future is in doubt. Robin said he doesn't know when he'll be able to return to the game because he's not able to walk. Howard said he should read Dr. Sarno's book. He said it's all in his head. Robin said he has had back surgery. Howard said he guarantees he's not done with fucking girls. Howard said if his back is bad he must not be able to bang girls. Robin said Tiger says he's not sure when he'll be able to return. Robin said he hasn't been on the PGA tour since August 23rd. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Carrie Fisher and how she used to complain about people telling her to lose weight. Howard said that's her whole thing. He said he saw her on a TV show and she looked good. Howard said they told her to lose a few pounds for the movie. Howard said Princes Leia can't look like Jabba the Hutt. Robin said Carrie claims that movie directors only wanted to hire 3/4 of her. Robin said that she is 59 years old now and she lost weight by not eating and exercising more. Howard said that's good for her. Howard said no one wants to look at reality on the screen. Howard said that he sees enough fat people walking down the road. He said it won't kill you to lose a few for the movie.
Robin read about the Mormon church launching a Christmas message campaign. Robin said they have a YouTube video that's on the church's web page. It has children quoting bible passages. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said he doesn't want Princess Leia looking like Jon Hein or Jason. He said he realizes they're on a different subject now. Robin had Howard play the audio and had to explain the story to Howard again.
Robin read a story about Lady Gaga going diamond with her Poker Face song. Robin said it's been certified Diamond. Howard said good for her. Robin finished up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon went to the phones and took a call from a guy who said he's wondering why everyone is so nervous around Howard. Jon said Sal often makes the mistake of trying to use a big word when he has no idea what it means. The caller said that's like Bobo. Jon said Sal will go with it even if he doesn't know what it means. He said the funnier part is when Sal explains how he meant to use the word. He said that no one believes that's what Sal meant. He said that's what makes Sal so great. Jon said Howard is intimidating too. He said they all work for him and they all serve at the pleasure of him. He said he has talked about how he's not a great conversationalist off the air. He said people get nervous around the boss. He said that you don't want to look stupid around the boss. The caller asked if they have to walk on eggshells outside of work with Howard. Jon said he doesn't feel he has to with Howard. Jon said when he came to the show he wasn't an intern so that might change things for him. He said you always worry about what you say in that place though. He said people will remember what you say there.
Jon said Gary has a lot of that going on too. He said you'd think after a while he wouldn't be nervous around Howard but he is. He said he thinks everyone but maybe Robin is. He said even Fred might be nervous. He said sometimes you can hear either nervousness or uncomfortablness with Fred and Howard. Jon said he thinks when you combine all of that stuff then they feel a level of intimidation.
Jon said he left one person out of that conversation and that was Benjy. He said Benjy gets some bravado. He said when Beth told Benjy she liked his beard it made Benjy sit up straight. He said that Benjy played it well too. He said that Beth did say that he looks good with the dye in his beard. Rahsaan said that beard is just weird. He said it's the dye job. Rahsaan said he's 30 and he has some grey in it. He said that's just weird to dye it.
Jon asked about Ronnie's moustache. Rahsaan said he doesn't need any trouble from Ronnie so he's not going to say anything. He said that he would just suggest that he let it go natural. Jon said he is saying there is something he doesn't like about it. Rahsaan said it doesn't look bad but dying it is weird. Jon said dying his beard is weird. Rahsaan said sure, that's what he said.
Jon said Beth was in today and talking about going out with Howard and what she has to do when they go out by briefing him on things. Jon said that they were also talking about how they both think they're fat but neither of them really are. Rahsaan said that he looks at himself in the mirror and thinks he's kind of chubby. He said he works out and he tries to keep in shape so it's not that crazy. Jon said that everyone thinks they could look better. Jon said that a lot of people there are comfortable with how they are. He said most of them know why they are the way they are. He said Howard and Beth have been together for a long time and they still have a love you kind of tender relationship. He said more power to them. They went to break after that.
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Jon asked Adam how high he'd go if he was asked to pick a bottle of wine. Gary said he would only pick what he'd buy if he was paying for dinner. Adam said that the money thing is kind if decided later so he would go with a nice bottle. He said part of him is a party guy and part of him is wondering why he'd be drinking expensive wine. They spent a short time talking about the wine thing.
Jon said Adam had Beth Stern on his late night show that he did on CBS. Adam said his dad still talks about that. He said his dad met Beth and it was like meeting the queen. He said he still talks about how she smelled and how he touched his hand. He said it really affected him. He said he feels like Beth is his new mom.
Gary said Beth came in today wearing a really hot dress. He said she knows how to sit on the couch in that special way. He said it's great. Gary said go look at how she was sitting and you'll see.
Jon said that Beth did say to say hello to Adam today. Adam said his dad has a boner right now. Jon asked Adam how he came up with questions for Beth. Adam said he was going hard at people during that show but he struggled with how to go at his idol's wife. He said he sort of split the difference. Adam said he was kind of going at it a little. He said he got laughs so he felt okay about it. He said it was hard. Gary said Beth is so nice that you don't want to look like you're beating up on her. Adam said he didn't want to be mean. He said he did ask if she is ever concerned that when Howard dies she'll be considered a crazy cat lady. Jon said that dying thing came up today and Howard said he doesn't want Beth dating anyone when he's gone.
Gary said they have like 23 cats in the house and that's her being respectful to Howard. He said that there is even more room for her to have more cats. Adam said they could have a whole cat colony there in the Hamptons.
Adam thanked the guys for having him since this could be one of the last Wrap Up Shows ever. Gary said here are 7 more. Adam said that's one of the last to him.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if people start getting complexes when Howard tells them to lose weight and things. Jon said that he doesn't think so. Gary said that he begs to differ. He said that Howard has talked about his weight and he has started weight loss programs after that. Adam said that is part of Howard really caring. He asked if Gary thinks he really cars. Jon said the way Howard took that shot today was out of nowhere. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said Nick cannon came in today and it was a great appearance. Gary said this was his best yet. Jon said that he is the CCO for Radio Shack. Gary said he's got a lot going on. Jon said he is non-stop. He said he loved that Howard had a conversation with Nick about his illness. Jon asked Adam how many conversations he's had that are real. Adam said that he doesn't think he's ever had a conversation like that. He said everyone in Hollywood lies to you and they want to make it as easy for themselves as they can. Adam said no one is trying to help you. Adam said when someone says to him that he's so great in small doses he's like ''Oh shit... too much.''
Gary said Bob Goldthwait was in a movie once and he said that there was ''just enough Bob' in it and Bob got upset that he said that. He said he gets why.
Jon asked if Gary expected that Spike Lee fence to be mended. Gary said that he isn't sure about that. Adam said he has gone to a lot of Knick games in his life and Spike has never been all that nice. Gary said he has a friend who was at the 1996 Olympics and his friend walked up to Spike and Spike just gave him the hand and never said a word to him. Adam said he has seen kids walk up to Spike and he'll hold up his hand for the kids. He said it's kind of incredible. Jon said Nick said he was going to get Spike and Simon Cowell in there. Gary said that Simon will be easier.
Gary said he got a call in the office once and he thought it was a fake Spike Lee and hung up on the guy. He said it was the real Spike Lee.
Adam said he went to school with this girl whose dad was Russian and had a heavy accent. He said that the guy called the house and he thought it was his uncle doing the accent so he just hung up on him.
Gary said he found it interesting about how little Nick knew about the HPV thing. He said he thinks Howard may have scared the shit out of him about that.
Jon said that Dorian came in today too. Jon said that Nick was also talking about how Howard is sort of ruining his game talking about all of the women today. Gary said they covered a lot of ground today with Nick.
Gary said that Howard and Nick are friendly off the air and that's a tough thing to navigate. He said Howard may know stuff that he can't talk about on the air that he has talked about off the air.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has listened to Howard for a long time. He said when they lost a family member they tune in and hear the show to cheer up. He said he feels bad for Gary when Howard goes off on him. He said hearing Howard and Beth showing their love this morning was great. He said his wife got all cheery about it. He said he really appreciates the show. Gary said Howard opened up that door just a little bit today when he said that when they get home there's a more Howard-like Beth at home. Adam said he's sure there is. He said that they're so sweet though when they're on the air together. Jon said that they are really into each other. Adam said how great would it be if Beth being like Howard was her having a small penis too.
Jon said they asked in the poll today who they'd have to their house on Thanksgiving. Jon asked Gary who he'd have. Gary said he and Mary had a long discussion about having Benjy over a few years ago. He said that he thinks they asked him to come over but he found something else to do. Gary said Benjy had night terrors when he slept at Stuttering John's house once. He said Joey Boots has an inkling of how to behave. He said that he'd be afraid of leaving Eric alone for a second. Adam said he wouldn't want to be left alone with Eric. Gary said his kids are fascinated with Eric. Gary said Lucas shook Eric's hand once and he made him wash his hand immediately.
Jon asked how the votes went. Rahsaan said that 86 percent said Joey Boots. Gary said if he wanted to be entertained he'd invite Eric over. Jon said he wants to hear from the 14 percent who voted for Eric.
Jon asked Gary how he feels about the beard dying thing. Gary said Howard asked him to dye his beard once and he did it and it was way too black. He said it took like 4 days to wash out. He said those 4 days were the most embarrassing days. Jon wrapped up and got in some plugs. They were done around Noon.
Jon asked Chris if he thinks it's rare to see a guy like that. Chris said that J.J. is the nicest most mellow guy. He said that's pretty rare for a director of that stature. Gary asked if he has interviewed Spielberg. Chris said he hasn't but he would like to. Gary said he's heard he's a very nice guy.
Jon said Mick the Nerd wasn't impressed with J.J.. He said that he was meeting this famous guy and he didn't seem interested. Gary said you go from a fan to having instant access and it meant nothing to Mick. Jon said he was surprised that reaction. Chris said maybe he's not that big of a fan of Star Wars. He said that might not be one of his favorite franchises.
Jon said this is Star Wars though. He said that you have to know it if you're a nerd. Chris said he thinks there's that Asperger thing going on so maybe that has something to do with it. Gary said if you talk about a game that Mick likes he does get excited.
Jon said he thought the question Mick asked was a good one. He said that might be the Star Wars nerd in him coming out though. Jon asked Gary if he's going to see it. Gary said he is very interested in this one. He said he isn't a huge Star Wars fan but he is going to go see it. Rahsaan said he really wants to see it to see how they're going to redeem the franchise. Jon said when it comes to Star Wars he remembers seeing IV and then V and Jedi he didn't love but didn't hate it. Then he saw I and it wasn't that great. He said II and III came around and he was kind of souring on the franchise. He said then he hears what VII is going to be and J.J. is directing it. He said then he's back on board. Chris said he trusts J.J. with the franchise. He said he did good with the Star Trek franchise and he thinks he's going to make people love Star Wars again. Gary said Star Wars IV he remembers and he doesn't think he has to see them all again to get into this new one. Jon said that they have new characters and they'll probably tell the stories of the first three in the new series. Jon said he was skeptical going in with the new Star Trek but they did a good job with that. He said that it was only one character from the old series.
Gary said he feels like he has to see this movie because of what he does for a living. He said he has only done that with Home Alone and Avatar in the past just so he could have a conversation with people.
Jon took a call from a woman who said Mick the Nerd might be the worst nerd ever. She said her son knew 7 bounty hunters and Mick didn't know more than a few. Gary said Mick is really knowledgeable about some weird shit. He said maybe not that stuff but other stuff. Jon talked to the caller about that for a short time.
Gary said he tried his best to nerd out this morning when he saw Ben Affleck on Good Morning America this morning. He said he wanted to see the new trailer but after 30 seconds he was bored. He said he'll wait to see that on HBO down the road.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Mick knew more than a couple of bounty hunters. He said he thinks that he's just too socially awkward to show excitement for J.J. Abrams. Jon said that he might be right. He said maybe he was over the moon meeting him. They went to break after that.
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Jon asked Chris if Howard should see it. Chris said he should and there is no way he won't like it. Jon asked how much he thinks it'll make. Chris said it might beat Avatar but it made like $2.8 billion. He said it may get close to that but that's a really high bar.
Jon said last year Howard felt Birdman was a horrible movie. Gary said he loved it. Jon said he did too. Gary said he doesn't understand why Howard hated it so much. He said he was surprised that he didn't like it. Jo asked if here is another one this year like that. Chris said it might be The Revenant. He said that the first strike is that it's from the guy who directed Birdman. He said he hasn't seen the movie yet but the trailers alone make it feel pretentious. He said that's a big no for Howard. Jon said he agrees with Chris about the pretentious part. He said it's going to be another no for Howard.
Jon said the next movie is the sexy sleeper. He asked Chris if there's something like that for Howard. Chris said he thinks that might be Carol. He told the guys about the movie and how it's a Mr. Skin approved movie. He said there is nudity and it's a really moving and well made movie. He said Howard has been supportive of the gay rights movement so that will strike a chord with Howard. Gary said Howard loved Blue Jasmine and Cate Blanchett was in that too. He said you can't just say that he's going to love it because of lesbianism. He said it has to have some meaning. He said Howard may like it but if it's too boring he might bail on it.
Jon said this other movie should be nominated just based on what he saw in the trailer. He said he sees Eddie Redmayne dressed as a woman and he thinks he's going to win just based on that. Gary said he has the screener for that movie. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see it but he thinks he's an Oscar nominee but he may not win because you don't win 2 years in a row often. Jon asked what Howard will think about The Danish Girl. Chris said he doesn't think Howard will like this one as much. He said he found that it was kind of annoying because it feels like it was designed to win Eddie another Oscar. He said in the screening he was in there was laughter that was unintentional. He said Howard may not be as big a fan of this as he was with The Theory of Everything.
Jon asked Chris about a new Will Smith movie that's coming out. Chris said this one Howard might like. He said that he plays a forensic pathologist. He told the guys why Howard might like that one. They spent a short time talking about the movie.
Jon asked Chris what movie Howard is going to rave about. Chris said that The Hateful 8 is the new Quentin Tarantino movie and he thinks Howard will love it. He said that it's another revenge movie and Tarantino can't lose with Howard. He said there is a bit of a slow build in the beginning but by the end it's wall to wall action and bloodshed. He said he thinks Howard will love it.
Gary said Howard has been offered a screener of the movie and he has to talk to Howard about seeing it in 70mm but it's over 3 hours long and they have an intermission. He said the digital version is 2 hours and 52 minutes. He said that he doesn't see Howard sitting through anything that long. Chris said he saw the 70mm film. He said the movie is longer because of the intermission.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about how to watch the Star Wars movie for someone who hasn't seen it. Gary said don't go see the new one opening weekend. He said his wife will just be annoyed that she has to wait on line. He said maybe the third weekend. Gary said he loves seeing a movie in a full theater and you can still get that the third week in. The caller said he thought he should show her the movies in 4,5, 2, 3 and 6. Gary said just show her 4 and 5. Jon said that he should see it by himself the first weekend and then go a couple of weeks later and bring her. Gary asked if he's doing that. Jon said no comment. He said you don't need to know anything about 1, 2 or 3. He said 4, 5 and 6 are enough. Jon asked Chris what he thinks. Chris said he agrees with Jon. He said 4, 5 and 6 are enough. He said the prequels may make her less excited about the new one.
Gary asked what woman in the world is going to sit through all of that anyway. He said it'll take 2 weeks to get through them before they get to the new one. They went to break after that.
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Chris said there's a show that he loves called Orange is the New Black but he won't watch. He said that he thinks he saw one episode and refused to watch more. Jon said he's not a fan either. Gary said he is. Jon said Mad Men was another example of that. He said that Howard worked in the ad industry and he should like something like that. Gary said he only worked in it for a month. Jon said he thinks Howard would dig it. Gary said he was sort of digging it but his wife didn't like it so he didn't keep watching it. He said he has a whole list of shows he wants to watch.
Gary said there are so many shows that you love but you can't tell Howard to watch them. He said JD loves Bar Rescue. Jon said JD said he's not watching anything on Netflix or Amazon because he has so much on his DVR. Jon said if you're a fan you don't care about that and you watch it anyway. Gary said he made fun of JD for watching The Wire at double speed. He said someone pointed out that he watches The Big Bang Theory at a faster speed. Gary said the truth is that The Big Bang Theory ain't The Wire.
Jon took a call from a woman who said if Howard retires they should give Bobo some of the memorabilia there. Gary said there are a lot of fans who deserve that stuff. He said he can't give it to Bobo. Gary said they have given Bobo stuff that he's sold off. The caller said she didn't know that. Gary said that he sold the Tickle Chair. The caller said she didn't know that so she takes back what she said.
Gary asked if it should be given to one fan or spread out. Jon said he'd love it if there was a museum. He said the nice thing to do would be to give everyone a piece. He said if they had a museum they could have it all in one place. Gary asked if he thinks Howard would threw it all away like Letterman did. Jon said he thinks Howard cares more about it than Dave. He said that it may not mean a lot to Howard but he knows what it means to the Howard Stern universe.
Gary asked Jon what he would take if he had one thing he could take if the show ended this year. Jon said he would probably take the megaphone. Gary said he'd take the microphone. Jon asked Rahsaan what he'd take. Rahsaan said he'd take the free liquor in there. Jon asked Chris what he'd take. Chris said he'll take Howard's chair if Gary is taking the microphone. Gary said that Robin's sculpture of Eric flying with Balloons is another one that's intriguing to him.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if there was a distinct time that the show became easier to book now that they have so many A-listers. Gary said it hasn't really been easy. He said that it's one of those things where one great guest brings another. He said you can tell guests that someone appeared. He said that Lady Gaga did it at the height of her career. He said Gwyneth Paltrow was good on the show and that can show what you're all about. Jon said there isn't just one guest they can point to. Gary said Madonna was a game changer.
Jon asked Chris who he'd like to hear Howard interview. Chris said that's a tough one. He said he'd like to hear him talk to Daniel Day Lewis about his method acting. Gary said he'd have to come in and get what Howard is going to do or he'd just be annoyed by Howard.
Gary said he'd like to see a Will Smith or a Brad Pitt. He said maybe Leonardo DiCaprio. Jon said he'd like to see Tom Cruise. Gary agreed with him on that too. They wrapped up the show after that. They were done around 12:05pm.
Jon said that Jon Glaser is also in Girls. He said Adam Driver was in this week and he asked if Jon Glaser has ever worked with him. Jon Glaser said that he has done some scenes with Adam and most of the cast. He said that he's pretty low key and friendly. He said he's a big dude with big arms too.
Gary said one of the things that Adam said was that he did hand to hand combat and he had a guy with a rubber knife attack him. He said he feels like it's Kato jumping out from behind a couch.
Jon asked if everyone is cool on Girls. Jon Glaser said it's a very cool set. He said it's very low key and very welcoming. He said even the first time he worked there they were all very nice. He said he can't say enough nice things.
Jon said that Adam has had a lot of jumps in his career. He said it's pretty crazy. He said he's happy for him. Gary said that he thinks it happened for him because he clearly showed up not giving a shit. He said he got Girls not really caring if he got the part or not. Jon asked if that's the way to handle an audition. Jon Glaser said that you can not give a shit without giving attitude. He said that it's hard to say. He said if you go in trying really hard it's going to show. He said more often than not it's not going to get you the part.
Jon said Jon Glaser was in Parks and Recreation and that seems like a fun show to be on too. Jon Glaser said it is and it was so enjoyable playing a dick in the show. He said that show was great to be on. He said he got to say great lines and everyone was welcoming and supportive.
Jon asked Glaser about auditioning and if he could handle doing something where he can't take the script with him. Glaser said that some people can read it and just do it and that's crazy.
Jon asked if Glaser is going to go see Star Wars on opening night. Glaser said his 9 year old is really excited to go. He said he may not go on opening night but he'd like to go with a lot of people in the theater. Jon said he remembers his dad taking him and his brother out of school to see Empire Strikes Back. He said that was one of the coolest things his dad did.
Gary asked if Jaws and Star Wars were the same summer. Jon said it was 75 and 77. Gary said his dad took him to see Jaws and he remembers how he brought him to see that. Jon said that he couldn't go in the water after seeing that. Gary said he was like 15 at the time and he remembers that too. They went to break after that.
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Jon said that he and Jon Glaser know each other from Michigan but Glaser grew up out there. They talked about the morning radio out there when they were out there.
Jon said Howard's time in Detroit wasn't so great. Gary said he just didn't like it when they switched to country music. Jon said that they had Nick Cannon in this week and he's the CCO of Radio Shack. He said that Nick's schedule is crazy and he's a sick guy. He said that Howard told him he has to take it easy or he's going to kill himself. Gary said that Nick seems to think he has things under control. Jon said he thinks Nick is going to miss Howard on America's Got Talent. He said he thinks Howard is going to miss hanging with Nick too.
Gary said he liked the story that Nick told about leaving a shoot at exactly 8:15. Gary said Nick went right along with him. He said Howard is very particular too. He said he's one of the most punctual people too. Jon said if he says he's leaving at that time he's going to leave.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves hearing Mick the Nerd. He said he'd like to do a Star Wars trivia contest against him. He said he has a huge Star Wars collection but he's married with a regular life. Gary asked if he goes to conventions and stuff. The caller said he does. He won a Star Wars trivia contest at San Diego Comic-Con. Jon said that's impressive. He said that's the majors. Jon Glaser asked what question he won on. The caller said he thinks it was about how many engines were on the back of a super star destroyer.
Jon asked the caller how his wife feels about the collection. The guy said that she's fantastic. He said he didn't ask her to do a Star Wars wedding or anything. He said their wedding anniversary is May 4th which is Star Wars day. Gary said he thinks this guy is the exception. He said he's like the hot chick in the WNBA. The caller said the only Star Wars element at the wedding was the Imperial March and some light sabers. He said Han and Leia were on the cake too. He has Boba Fett on his wedding ring too.
Jon asked how many kids they have. The caller said they each have one. He said that his wife isn't as into Star Wars as he is but they do have their tickets for Thursday night. Jon said he loves how into it he is. Jon said he doesn't think he's a-typical in this whole thing. He said that he's not a text book geek.
Jon asked if Gary feels left out of this world since he's not into it that much. Gary said not at all. Jon asked Jon Glaser if he feels weird having people coming to see him at Comic-Con. Glaser said he brought a Neon Joe comic book made and he's not even a big comic book guy but it was pretty cool.
Jon said the caller said that everyone is a geek about something. He said he's right about that. Jon said that everyone has their hobbies. He said if you can turn it into a living then it's great. Gary said they goof on the people where the hobby is more their life than the hobby.
Gary said he sees Jon Glaser in so many things. He asked if he has ever been on Broad City. Jon Glaser said he hasn't. Gary said he thinks he has though. He said that's how many things he knows him from. Jon Glaser said that he has people ask what he was in when they recognize him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said a few years back they did a Mark Hamill interview. He asked if they can get him back in as a guest now. Gary said they had J.J. on and Adam on. He said it's not like they're doing a complete Star Wars month. He said if Mark was around and asked to come in they might do it. Gary said he really likes Mark and he thinks he is a superfan of the show so he may be listening now for all he knows.
Gary said there's a car commercial running and it has something to do with Star Wars. He said it's almost comparing the car to something Star Wars. He said it's in everything. Jon said he remembers the car commercial from a few years ago where the kid turned on the car with The Force. Gary said that had nothing to do with the movie though. Jon said maybe it did. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said there's an interview online that Spielberg did where they talked about Daniel Day Lewis and he said that it was Spielberg who was addressing everyone by their character's names in the movie Lincoln. He said that's how he wanted to direct the film and set the tone. Gary said he totally hears him on that but Daniel Day Lewis took it to a whole other level. He said Sally Field wasn't acting like it was 1871. He said Lewis was off the charts with the level he took it to. Jon said he doesn't think that Lewis is going to break into a tap dance but he stayed in character. Jon said if it's Spielberg telling you what to do then you do it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to get back to the geek discussion. He said Gary says that he doesn't understand the Star Wars fans but there are people who go to baseball games almost every night. He said he sees a parallel between that and the other geeks. Gary said here is a parallel there. He said the difference is that he won't go outside of the stadium and wait for an autograph for 4 hours from someone who was in the game. He said there are people who do that with the Star Wars people. Gary said if you have a life outside the hobby that's great. He said you have to balance those things. Jon said that he sees the parallels there between the two.
Jon said that he and Jon Glaser went to a Detroit Tigers game once and they had great seats. He said they were playing the Yankees. Jon said that Jon Glaser should tell the story. Glaser told the story about this woman who was yelling at the Yankees and they were giving her shit too. He said she turned around and with her finger she went ''Fuck you!'' and the guys in the crowd were stunned. He said they were crying laughing.
Gary said that Howard would say that if you wear another man's jersey that it's kind of gay. Jon Glaser said that he finds it strange himself. Jon said Gary wears a t-shirt but not a jersey. Gary said he likes the team so he's showing his support for them.
Gary asked about a jersey with your own name on your back. Jon said that's a major faux pas. Gary said he has a closet full of them. He said he's had people give them to him. Gary said when he goes to the game he isn't looking for people to recognize him. Jon said Howard thinks this is all insane. He said Howard has said that he wishes that he could get that worked up over sports. Gary said Howard does get worked up but not over sports.
Jon wrapped up the show a short time later. He got in some plugs and ended the show around 11:50am.